#it would be exhausting
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Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.
#transandrophobia#transmasculine experiences#antitransmasculinity#transmisandry#im so exhausted from both cis and trans people acting like trans men choosing to engage with femininity as much or as little as we want is#somehow a statement on how we feel about women#and not just our own personal comfort#make all the forced fem jokes you would like#but remember those of us who were forced to be feminine#actually experienced serious trauma from that#and deserve a space to talk about it
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Dear lady i angered in the line at the grocery store:
Me asking for a little space had nothing to do with your disability (was entirely unaware you had one until you brought it up) and everything to do with the fact that you were standing so close to me i could feel your breath on the back of my neck.
#i miss social distancing#as someone with a strong need for personal space#it was the only time i could do anything about it without risking someone getting unreasonably angry with me#i both apologized and said please in asking her for some space#and this was only after i'd tried subtly moving forward three four times#only for her to close the distance the instant i moved#also why would you want to stand that close to an absolute stranger?#i feel bad but at the same time she was inches from my face when i turned around and i shouldn't feel bad asking for what i need#especially when it's something as small as a little space in line at a very busy grocery store#this is why i usually go in the evenings or on the weekends#but i ran out of vegetables and had no other choice but to buy some#also what did her disability have anything to do with her standing so close to me?#no clue what it was either#not that i need to know#if i was more of a dick i could have easily brought up my own anxiety and sensitivity to things like sounds and physical sensations#i'm sure she's had her own bad experiences#but if a stranger makes a completely reasonable request you shouldn't always assume it's a personal slight#how awful must your life be if that's the way you think?#it would be exhausting#i literally couldn't care less as to who you are#i will likely never see you again#i do care that i can smell the cigarette smoke on your breath#and that you were close enough that i bumped you with my elbow when i reached for my wallet in my pocket#also i don't think the guy in front of me appreciated me shifting closer to him each time i tried getting away from her#i'm sure there were other people in line who judged me#but my god was it getting uncomfortable
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Get me real drunk under the pretense you’re going to use my body in nefarious ways only to give me head scritches until I pass out and get a full nights sleep
#this post may be a hit or a miss#do you understand what I’m going for here#I want to please you and take care of you but you uno reverse#I think that’s it#anyways I’m exhausted and would love to get drunk and just sleep on top of someone#jasperbarks#ftm puppy
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One Summer Day
#hullo! I’m back!#sorry about the longer-than-planned-for-absence;#after I got back from my trip I was exhausted and then I almost immediately had to deal with a health thing#and I haven’t had as much brain for drawing as I would have hoped — but I finally finished another piece!#learning this new software is taking me a bit but it’s so fun alskdjfjf :D#hope you all are doing well!! I’ll start answering asks again whenever I have time#bsd#my art#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk#skyline pigeon fic
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weird hearing "were you a Theatre Kid" "were you a Sports Kid" "were you a Choir Kid" "were you a Dance Kid" bc no? i mean i did all of that and more but resented ever minute of it? actively avoided sticking with anything? i was a "In This Family After School Activities Are Mandatory Kid"
#oh and i was really really bad at all of it btw#which was a good thing actually otherwise i would have gotten bored even *more* quickly#christ if i was good at a Activity i probably would have had to stick with it#that would have been EXHAUSTING#i survived soooo many Activities by standing in the background doing the bare minimum so I could focus on the Hyperrealistic Daydreams#baseball was my favorite. if u wear a glove u can literally just stand in the back of a field & stare at grass & no one bothers you#i mean usually no one bothers you but there is one specific situation where everyone starts yelling your name real loud and pointing
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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just breathe.
#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#cassandra cain#pit withdrawal#chronic illness#Batfam#batman#Jason would be irritated by the audience if he wasn’t so exhausted
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logical men in suits disheveled exhausted and unable to stand on their own my beloved. get that man a few weeks with no sleep and a mortal dilemma
#this is definitely not related to my last post at all no why would you ever say that#/lying#whump#whump community#whumpblr#whump prompt#blorbo tag#exhaustion whump
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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HEAVY TF2 TUMMY ‼️‼️‼️
reads this ask and blacks out
#birbwelldraws#tf2#tf2 heavy#normally would be ignoring my asks especially tf2 ones butif i didnt draw tummy i would have died. badly#ill get to all my other asks. eventually. sorray im exhausted
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right
#arthur morgan#rdr2#redmeta#this is one of the most wildly misinterpreted but also most obvious scenes where writers are teaching us how arthur moves through the world#i really don't mean to seem short here#i am just exhausted of reddit mentality low literacy “ARTHUR WOULD SHOOT U IN THE FACE FOR FUN HE HATES WOMEN AND SLUTS” takes#my mistake was imagining a world where your average man online could intellectualize about narrative art#unless it is spoonfed to them on a shotty slug that says I'M STRAIGHT BUT I'D LET [MASC CHARACTER] FUCK ME
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slinging daniel jackson around like a sack of potatoes: a team tradition!
#this is by NO means an exhaustive list which makes me happy. he is so grabbable.#stargate#sg-1#stargateedit#daniel jackson#jack o'neill#teal'c#samantha carter#***edits#i too would grab him if i had the chance. spiritually i would sling him over my shoulder like a sack of flour.
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Ugh I'm so sleepy. Eepy man. Enjoy this shit I cooked up in ten minutes.
You wake up, only to find yourself just as tired as you were a few hours ago. Your eyelids are heavy, and you're fighting back sleep with every blink. Exhaustion wracking your body with every movement.
You feel Simon groan and sit up next to you.
"Mmm... five more minutes?" You mumble sleepily, shivering at the sudden lack of warmth.
"'M sorry love, we've gotta get up"
"Please? I'm so tired..." You whine quietly
"Negative," he says, chuckling at your miserable pout.
"Please, Si?" You say it so sweetly. The nickname you rarely used. His weakness.
A moment passes before you finally hear a response.
"Fine."
You grin, knowing that you've won. He lays back down and wraps his arm around you, pulling your back to his chest. You close your eyes and sleep quickly overtakes you.
Of course, it was never just 'five more minutes'. Simon called your work shortly after and informed them that you wouldn't be coming in today. However that works.
#I'm actually so tired it's unreal#Dying out here#Ofc I didn't get to take the day off. I have to suffer#Who knew exhaustion was what would make me write smt#That's crazy#Got less than 2 hours of sleep#Which actually normally doesn't bother me#But I guess it adds up over time#*shocked pikachu face*#If only I had a Simon in my life#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x gn reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x gn reader
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Good Morning, World.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket.#The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home.#Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!'#WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role.#He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against.#Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC.#Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules.#That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together.#And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful.#It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain.#JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.'#and WWX said '[read]'#It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.
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