#it will go through some rounds of editing but all the chapters are down and their sequence of events should be solid!

[gailynovelry]

Breathing Gods is DONE.

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (III)

alexia putellas x sister

chapter I, II

edited this in 25 minutes and now I am going to bed... but alexia debut in here today :)

~~~~~~

I sat in the back of the car as Ingrid drove Mapi and me to Johan the next morning. The car was silent, my eyes focussed out the window, hyperaware of the glances that both defenders threw back at me every so often.

Mapi is worried about me. That much I can tell, but I don't know why Ingrid, who I've barely spoken to, seems to think the world is coming to an end. She was in the room this morning when Mapi told me that Mami had called to say that she would see me there. I don't think the tension in the room was hard for the Norwegian to identify. Or it could have been Mapi's wide eyes staring at me that made her think something was wrong. 

Alba is also coming to watch this game even though I told her I wouldn't be playing.

"you are part of the first team for the first time ever, hermanita! It is exciting just to watch you warm up."

I had rolled my eyes as she pulled me into a hug that day, but I appreciated it either way.

Ingrid led me to the changing rooms as Mapi made her way into the stands with some of the other injured players. My locker is beside Aitana's and she beams up at me when she spots me. I thank Ingrid quickly and make my over to Aitana and into her open arms.

"You ready?"

I nod, a smile on my face. For the first time in a long time, I do not think about my sister or what she would say, what her opinion would be. It is hard to grasp the idea that my dreams are maybe becoming a reality. 

E. Putellas 29

It is a dream that I have had for a long time, to have my name on a blaugrana shirt, to be in this very position. It is something I have wanted since I could kick a ball, since I watched my sister do the same thing all those years ago.

They had asked me what name I wanted on the back of my jersey. Because Alexia just had her first name, I could take the last name without the E but Mami said to keep the E. I think she wanted me to just use my first name as well but that is for Alexia. I am only new to this, I thought.

I will not play today, Jonatan told me, but he said he wants me to be a sub in a game with lower pressure after I've spent a few games on the bench and trained with the team for more than a week.

Despite this, Mami and Alba are sat in the audience, between a bunch of relatives and family friends.

A red flush creeps onto my cheeks as I hear them all cheering when I run out of the tunnel to start the warm up. Aitana's arm is around my shoulders and she gives me an extra tight squeeze before winking at me and releasing me from her hold.

I know I will be sitting on the bench for the whole game but just warming up with the team is exciting. The cheering from the audience during the warm up is ten times louder than any crowd I've played in front of, even in the most stressful part of a match.

I try to shrug off the goosebumps that creep over my arms as I take in my surroundings. It is surreal and I think I am in a state of disbelief when Patri approaches me.

"You ok, pequena?"

"I'm good." I look at her as she places a hand on my shoulder. "This is just big."

"I get it. You are very young. You should be very proud of yourself, Elena. You a right, this is a big thing. A huge thing. We are all very proud, remember that."

She squeezes my shoulder before letting go.

"Now get to warming up, stop drifting off with the fairies!"

~~~~~~

It only took Barcelona 5 minutes to establish their dominance through an early Salma goal and by half time they were already up by 4 to 0.

The second half started and by the end of the match we were up by 8 with a decent scoreline of 9-1. Patri pulled me off the bench to go on the rounds to all the opposition and the fans. I have seen this happen so many times that it still feels surreal to be experiencing it.

"Where is your sister?"

Patri's whisper is meant to be harmless but her words are like ice water down my back and my stomach flips inside out. She continues when I shrug my shoulders.

"I saw her earlier with Olga, she's probably sat with the other injured girls."

At the mention of the girlfriend I have not met, I resist the urge to throw up, saying goodbye to Patri and heading over to where my family was in the stands.

My whole family tells me how proud they are and I think Mami takes about a thousand pictures of me and Alba and gets Alba to take some of me and her as well. I am grateful that she ignores Alexia's absence but that does not mean any of us are happy about it.

Mami is frustrated, angry maybe and that is evident in the way she scans the stadium every few minutes and shakes her head or releases disappointed sighs every once in a while.

Alba is sad and it is obvious because she makes no effort to hide the tears that brim in her eyes behind her smile. She tells me it is proud but I know when she looks longingly over to where Alexia should be standing beside me that she is just as upset as I am.

I am offended but I do my best to hide my emotions. I try to be as happy as I can because I am somewhat exhilarated from the experience despite sitting on the bench for the full 90 minutes.

Keira and Ona were being rested for the whole match and it turns out that Keira is hilarious and Ona can provide the best commentary on any match. They are a good pairing and I enjoyed making fun of Keira as she struggled to keep up with our (very slow) Spanish.

I am definitely looking forward to playing at some point. The thought makes me so incredibly nervous but I don't think there will be a better feeling than finally stepping out onto that field with my name on my back and representing my childhood club.

Mami holds me in her arms after she's satisfied with the pictures and I feel a tear drop onto my head.

"I am so proud of you, nina, you have made me proud from the day you were born and you will continue forever. This is just the start of everything. Papi is looking down on us right now with pride too, he's telling all his friends that you are his baby bear and that he taught you everything you know."

I sniffle in her arms.

"Thank you for everything you have done for me Mami, I would be nothing if not for you."

"Oh, hija, I love you."

"I love you too."

Alba throws herself into the hug and proclaims it is now a group hug. Mami chuckles and extends one of her arms around her.

"Mi hermanita is all grown up!" Alba cheers quietly so only me and Mami can hear. "15 years old and in the first team, a record?"

"Only a record when I leave the bench, Alba." I whack the back of her head with my hand and she recoils from the hug in mock annoyance.

"I should go, Mami, I'll meet you out the front?"

She nods and I kiss her cheek before wandering back to the changing rooms.

I am surprised when they are empty but the sound of the showers tells me that I will not be alone for long.

It is supposed to be a happy feeling, but I can not help but feel alone in this room, full of the belongings of people who are older than me, more experienced, skilled. People who know my sister better than I do.

People who will always look up to La Reina. Who will always hang off her every word.

I wish that was me still because if it was, I would not be alone in this locker room right now, I would be celebrating with my sister.

But she is nowhere to be found.

She didn't even say hello to me, she didn't say congratulations, she didn't even acknowledge my existence. It hurts me more than I care to admit, but maybe that is what she meant when she said I was weak.

I wipe the tears out of my eyes before they spill and it is good timing because a whole group of girls walk into the locker room at the same time that Ingrid and Frido return from their showers.

"Our pequena!" Marta cheers when she sees me in my cubby and paces over to pick me up. "You are one of us now, welcome to Barca!"

Everyone cheers and a big smile takes over my face as I am thrown amongst the group of people, being hugged and patted on the back, loud yells in Spanish bouncing round the room.

Aitana holds me for longer than everyone else and whispers her congratulations in my ear.

"You need a lift home today?"

I shake my head and smile.

"Mami and Alba are taking me out to dinner."

Aitana nods and begins talking about how exciting it is that I have finally been introduced to the first team and how I have grown up and I zone out and scan the room.

The loud chatter is a far cry from the near silence that engulfed the room five minutes ago.

I spot Mapi in the corner of the room speaking animatedly to Ingrid.

Frido is also there, laughing with Caro and Marta

Jana is beside Bruna, a giddy smile on her face as they chat to Esmee.

That can only mean one thing, Alexia is somewhere in here but I do not want to speak to her. I do not want to see her and I do not want her to see me. I excuse myself from Aitana to quickly grab my change of clothes and I go over to the showers, spending the longest possible time rinsing myself and washing my hair and an even longer time drying myself and getting changed.

I spend a humiliating amount of time in the stall but I do not hear anyone else come into the bathroom so I don't really think anyone had noticed.

If I had known what was been waiting for me when I opened the door of my stall I probably wouldn't have opened it.

Because the bleached blonde hair was the first thing I clocked, but her confidence oozed out of her as she leant against the wall, her arms crossed, her head resting against the blue paint like she was bored.

I don't say anything when I see her, trying my luck by just walking straight past her but her hand reaches out and stops me from leaving.

"No, Elena, don't run away from me."

"What do you want from me, Alexia?"

She let out an exhale and her features softened slightly. I look down at her feet, willing myself to not make eye contact.

"Why did I find out you had joined my team through a post on Instagram?"

I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders, making an unintelligible sound that tells her that I do not know and I do not care. I try to leave again but she just stops me again.

"Why do I not know anything about you anymore? Why did Mapi find you in the middle of the park near her house last night when you should have been in bed like Mami thought?"

At least Mapi didn't say anything. I was worried, she is terrible at keeping secrets.

I just scoff because I don't know how else to react to the irony.

"Where is your girlfriend?"

She sighs.

"Olga is in the changing room with the others. You can meet her if you would like."

"I do not want to meet her."

"Then why did you ask?"

"I just wanted to confirm it wasn't just another one of Alba's rumours. You never told me."

I am proud that my voice doesn't falter, that it doesn't break. It is calm, level, despite the emotions that are raging inside of me.

"And whose fault is that?"

I roll my eyes but I avoid saying anything. She hesitated before continuing.

"We were best friends Elena, what even happened? Why did you stop talking to me, why did you start skipping our thursday night dinners?"

I scoff as she tries to make eye contact.

"I am not having this conversation now, Alexia. This is supposed to be a happy day but you are ruining it. You don't remember, that is the problem."

"I should be part of this day with you. I am your captain now."

I hold back a laugh.

"yes, captain, anything you say captain." I salute her weakly and turn around to leave, pushing past her outstretched arm.

Mapi looks at me cautiously as I walk back into the changing rooms but she is chatting with Olga and I do not want to have any interaction with her. I wave goodbye to her and Ingrid and say goodbye to a few of the others.

"What did she say?" Aitana had walked out with me and had apparently seen Alexia enter the showers earlier as well.

"That she is my captain now." I don't think I will ever forget her coldness.

"She is also your sister, Lena, she must be proud?"

If she is she has not shown it.

"She is my captain before she is my sister." My voice is monotone and I stare straight ahead of me. "Football always comes before family. It always has for Alexia."

Aitana shakes her head.

"It should not, it is not healthy."

I can't help but agree with the midfielder beside me.

~~~~~~

Dinner with Mami and Alba is nice, although I shouldn't have expected the topic of my oldest sister to be completely neglected the whole evening. Thankfully, she waits until we are all in the car driving home to bring it up.

"Your sister should have been there today, Elena." She makes eye contact with me through the rear view mirror and I look away.

"There are many things she should have done but didn't." I mumble quietly so Mami can't hear me, but Alba does and she looks back at me weirdly.

"Alexia said she was going to talk to you, she told us how proud she was and I said that you would want to hear her say it to you."

"She's... proud of me?" My voice is soft and I can see my mother's eyebrows furrow in the mirror.

"Of course she is, you are her baby sister and you have just joined her team. She was upset that you didn't tell her and I don't think she really understood why but, Lena, she was practically crying. She is a very proud big sister. I told her to come with us tonight and she seemed keen, said she would meet you in the changerooms and come out with you."

"Why does she tell you all this but when she talks to me she is so cold?" My voice is barely a whisper yet both Mami and Alba hear me loud and clear.

"She went to meet you in the dressing room, she was excited for you to meet Olga and Olga was excited as well. What did she say to you?" Mami frowns, her eyes flickering over to Alba who also had creases in her forehead.

I shrug.

"She asked me why I didn't tell her that I had joined, why she doesn't know anything about my life anymore. She said she was my captain, she should be part of my life. I think she meant my football life, not my actual one."

"What makes you say that?" Alba is the one who speaks because Mami looks devastated.

I look around dramatically. "If she wanted to be part of my actual life she would be here right now, no?"

Alba runs her hands over her face in frustration but I don't think she is frustrated at me. Just the situation. I think it has upset Alba more than anyone else and I feel guilty.

"Sorry." 

"No, hermanita, this is not your fault, I just don't understand what is going through Alexia's head."

"It's ok, Alba, Mami. I don't mind. Really, I don't."

Mami just shakes her head. She is not happy and she clearly does mind.

"No, you and your sister need to sort this out, pequena, I simply cannot stand it any more. You will be home for dinner this Thursday and you will talk about it."

"But I have train-" I am interrupted.

"No you do not, you are not playing with the B team at the moment, don't be ridiculous. You will be there and we will discuss it then. We also need to discuss what we are going to do about your school."

I groan, although the change in topic is appreciated.

"Mami! I don't want to have to go back to school because I'd rather do this." She sighs and I roll my eyes.

"La Masia has made an arrangement that will allow you to continue your classes there but your days will be rearranged. You will go to training with the first team until 2, then you will go over to La Masia and do your school classes with your peers there. They will get you a tutor to study with you in the evenings when training usually is to make up for the school you missed in the morning."

Unfortunately, Mami has always been adamant that we get a good education despite mine and Alexia's obsessions with football.

I was quick to get out of the car when we arrived home, having dropped Alba off at her apartment on the way back. I went up to my room quickly, changing into my pajamas and heading to bed quite quickly.

Mami called out to tell me that she was going to see Alexia before bed, so I sat on my phone for a while, the doors locked and my lights switched off.

But my phone was plugged in and my eyes were closed when a soft fist hit my door twice. Thinking it was just mami, I called for her to enter.

But when I registered that bleach blonde hair for the second time that day, all I felt was regret.

"I am tired, Alexia. Please, just let me sleep."

"Elena, please." I hadn't noticed the tears that dripped down her face, the slump in her usual perfect posture. Her voice cracked when she said my name. "I miss you."

"Alexia. It has been a long day, I am tired, I want to sleep. Please, Alexia. Let me sleep." I am acting immature but I am tired, and I don't want to have this conversation now.

She let out a soft exhale, stepping towards me and placing a kiss on the side of my head that is exposed to the air.

I try to ignore the warm shivers it sends down my spine, it has been so long since she did that; since she did something she used to do every night.

She walks slowly back to the door, stopping as she reaches it and resting her hand on the door handle.

"Mami says you don't think I am proud of you. It is not true. I am so proud of you and I love you, pequena. But I don't think you need me anymore, I think you're fine without me. I am sorry, Elena. I am sorry for not being there for you when I should have been, but I will take a step back. I am so proud of you."

She pushed down the door handle and was gone just as quickly as she came and I resisted the urge to call out and tell her she had got it all wrong. I want her to take a step forward, she has already taken a step back. She has already taken 50 steps back.

I need her. More than anything.

But I can't rely on her. I can not be weak in front of her.

I am a Putellas. I can not be weak.

She has to be right. I am fine without her.

~~~~~~

She is still home when I walk downstairs in the morning, her eyes puffy and hair a mess as she sits on the kitchen table with a coffee. My sigh alerts her to my presence but I turn my back on her as soon as I enter the kitchen.

"Elena, please." I don't know how I changed my sister from a leader to a beggar, but today is not the day to ask when that happened.

I pour myself a bowl of cereal silently and head straight back upstairs, locking my bedroom door and eating my breakfast before sitting down on the piano stall, my fingers immediately jumping onto the keys, improvising and experimenting with new notes, chords and rhythms.

I don't know what Mami said to Alexia when she visited last night, but to be quite honest I don't want to know. I just need to keep being ok without my older sister, no matter how much I miss her. She said I should be fine without her, so I will be.

For some reason, I neglect to consider the other words she said.

"I miss you."

"I am so proud of you."

"I love you."

I think I ignore those statements because I can't seem to grasp their validity. If she missed me, she would have seen me; she would have come to my games. If she was proud of me I would already know, she would have told me like Mami had, like Alba had. Like everyone else who is proud of me has.

If she loved me... If she loved me she would be my older sister again.

I miss her, I am proud of her and I love her. It is true and I have never once doubted those emotions.

But it feels like she is just saying what she wants me to hear. What Mami said that she should say to me. I don't think she actually means it.

How could someone who loves me tell me that I am weak?

How could someone who is proud of me tell me that she doesn't want me to achieve my dreams, that she never wants to share a shirt because I am haven't had to work for it?

I don't understand how it could be true, both things at the same time.

I curse at the tear that spills out of my eye, rubbing it away aggressively and shaking my head at myself. No. I can not be weak. Not today, not ever.

My sisters words from today, from yesterday, from three years ago spin in my mind and my fingers become more and more aggressive on the keys of my piano, my song increasing in intensity; reflecting my emotions in the only way I know how. The keys are my home, the notes are my head and the song is my heart. 

Though sometimes the song sounds broken, like right now when there is so much going on. So many chords, rhythms. Increasing speed, increasing volume. My fingers moving at a million miles an hour, barely hitting one key before moving to the next. 

There is so much going on that it is overwhelming, so much going on that it could just explode. Into a million pieces. So many pieces that it would be futile to even try and put them back together.

It does that sometimes, and I have to fall back down to the softness and calmness of the easy rhythms, easily sailing away from the broken song like it never even existed. 

But it always existed, and it's remains will always be there at the bottom of the sea, haunting me, threatening to re-emerge. 

I realise I have been grieving my sister like she has died. I grieve the death of our relationship and how it has changed so quickly and so aggressively. I miss her more than anything, but the thought of what it used to be is overwhelming, it fills me with dread, with complete sadness. 

Those notes that exploded so long ago, still lying dormant somewhere, never gone, never forgotten. There are so many of them, I just wish she would help me pick them up.

My song has already exploded, so I resort to playing soft chords, tears now spilling from my eyes in a continuous stream. There are too many to wipe away and I know that my eyes will be red and my cheeks puffy when I eventually do. I have lost my sister in a way that is almost impossible to comprehend.

Because Alexia isn't dead, and somehow that makes her distance so much harder to understand, so much more hurtful.

She isn't dead, she has just decided she does not want to be a part of my life any more.

The song comes to a conclusion, and my fingers rest on the keys, my eyes staring ahead at the empty stand in front of me, trying their very best to not slip upwards towards the picture that I know hangs directly above it.

The picture of me and my family the day I was born, held in Alexia's arms as Alba tried her best to share me, both of them sitting beside Mami in bed as Papi watched on with a proud smile.

I would go back to that day in an instant if I was given the opportunity.

~~~~~~

I don't go back downstairs until I hear the front door close and Alexia's car drive away. I give it a few minutes before I actually leave the safe haven that my bedroom has become, ignoring Mami's watchful eyes as I slump onto the sofa, using the remote to switch on the tv.

I only watch it for five minutes before my mother switches it off, standing by the door and looking directly at me.

"She is confused, Elena. She doesn't know why this has all happened but she is angry with herself for not being there for you more."

I roll my eyes. Of course she doesn't remember.

"Maybe she should use her brain. Maybe she should just think."

Mami shakes her head at me, it could be in frustration, maybe disappointment. I still do not look at her.

"Maybe you could just talk to her! She doesn't know how to love you when you won't let her. She wanted you to meet Olga yesterday, but you left. She wanted to speak to you last night or this morning but you ignored her."

"But Mami, it is not my fault! It should not be up to me to fix what she has broken."

"She is trying, Elena, and at the moment that is what matters. This just can not go on, you are in the same family, the same football team! Mapi spoke to me yesterday, you know. She was practically crying, Elena, it's effecting even her."

"I never should have opened my mouth to her. Now she has involved herself in something that is not her business." My voice is poisonous and my words aggressive. I know Mapi would be heartbroken if she could hear this, she always has tried so hard to do what is best. Especially when it was about me.

I love Mapi, I always have. She never thought I did because I never gravitated towards her at training when I was little, but that was just because I thought she was another sister - she was like Alexia, always around.

When I was 11, maybe, I didn't realise how upset she got about me 'not liking her', and I had made a joke about never hanging around with Mapi. It was when she left the room that Alexia pulled me to the side harshly.

"Even if you don't like her, Elena, you have to pretend! She is my best friend and she loves you so much."

I remember looking at her with my mouth agape - I love Mapi, I always did. I was confused, it was a meaningless joke - a version of a joke I made all the time to Alexia.

Alexia didn't need to tell me to go talk to her, but I didn't know what to say when I walked out the door and found her sitting down with her back to the wall, tears pouring down her face. I explained everything and she apologised for being dramatic.

Since then, we have gotten along well and I have tried to spend time with her when I can.

It has been harder in the last couple years when I have fallen out with Alexia. They are best friends, I don't want to get in the way of that.

Mami's anger brings me right back to reality.

"That is enough, Elena! Maria only wants to help, but she can't, nobody can do anything except you and Alexia."

I resist rolling my eyes, instead releasing a huff of air.

"I'll think about it." 

My arms are folded and I turn back towards the blank screen, ignoring the way Mami sighs and walks away. 

It is only when I hear her door close that I let my angry facade crumble, my body shaking as I resist the tears. 

I need to stop crying. 

Alexia thinks I am strong enough to do everything by myself.

I need to prove to her that I can. 

Maybe then she will tell me she is proud of me. 

~~~~~~

this is pretty much all the prewritten stuff i have, will write more soon once my exams are done

let me know if there's anything you want to see in the next parts

part IV

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Four

Summary: After last night you don't know where you stand but tensions are still high and you don't know what you really want. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.6K~ Warnings: Smuuuuttt, Explicit Language and a crap ton of pet names (I'm sorry okay I love pet names lmao) Same warning as before cuz ya'll wanted more smut haha. Horribly edited too so have mercy on me y'all I just wanted to get it out. a/n: Aw shit here we go again 🤣 Anyways ya'll asked and I delivered lmao so another smut chapter but next one is gonna be mainly plot alight 😂 gotta save some more smut for later 🫢 Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

Waking up the next morning I feel incredibly disoriented. 'Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I naked?' and at that last question I feel all the memories of last night rushing back to me.

Echos of the pet names and praises and the ghost of his fingers all along my body make every cell in my body buzz with need for more. I've never done something like that, something so...scandalous and with and man almost twice my age at that.

I thought that if I ever did something like this before I got married I would've felt shameful but I feel confident...wanted by someone who respects me for who I am and wanted nothing in return. It felt different that I thought it would've, having him hover over me, meeting me with his heated gaze. I wanted him closer. I wanted him to crawl under my skin and give me everything.

It's selfish to say I wanted more because he owes me nothing, he's given me so much and what have I given him in return? Nothing...

He says I've given him plenty but I still feel unworthy of his kindness. I have to do something to show him my thanks, to show him that I'm grateful for everything he's given me. I just don't know where to start.

~~~~~

Getting up and out of bed after I get my bearings was more difficult than I thought it would be. I felt almost a little sore from what we had done last night and I don't know if I should love or hate the sensation. Should I be mad that it got rough enough to cause this feeling or should I feel excited from still having a sensation left over from the pleasure he had given me?

As I continue to go round and round in my head with more useless doubts that run through my head I'm suddenly met with a light knock on the door.

"Um, just a second" I panic, looking around for something to cover up and notice the silk robe that had been placed on the bed and throw it on without a second thought before telling him to come in.

He opens the door and takes in my form for a second, biting his lip at the barely there fabric covering everything he saw last night. "Good morning" he husks out, his voice sending a shockwave between my legs making me cross them unconsciously, which garners a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth.

"Good morning" I squeak out, exposing my flustered state right away, cursing myself internally. "How'd you sleep?" he ask, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning up against the door frame, giving me space but somehow making his presence felt throughout the room.

"Amazing" I say, looking down at my feet in embarrassment, being honest but hating myself for it. "Yeah?" he prods, satisfied by my answer but begging to get that confirmation. "Yeah" I reply, nodding but still averting my gaze.

"Lunch is ready if you'd like to come downstairs. I check on you earlier to see if you wanted breakfast but you were still sleeping like a baby" he teases and if his voice alone didn't make me drop to the floor then that pet name at the end surely did.

"You alright?" he chuckles and I clear my throat before responding, knowing my voice would be no good if I tried to speak without doing so.

"I'm great, perfectly fine" I answer, glancing up at him before adjusting my robe and closing it around me even more. "I'll be waiting downstairs then. You can take your time getting dressed but you're also more than welcome to wear that all day" he taunts, pushing off the door frame and turning to leave after looking me up and down once more.

"I'll be down in a second" I call after him and wait for him to get downstairs before following the path he had just been on and running into my room, quickly but quietly shutting it behind me.

Leaning my head against the door I try to collect my thoughts and stop my racing heart that bound to explode at the next Baby, Bunny or Darling that's bound to come out of his mouth. 'It's just Jungkook. He's been nothing but nice to me and he seems like a really great guy.

We just need to talk and figure things out before something like that happens again' I coach myself and turn to face my room where I'm greeted with a freshly made bed and a single flower in a small vase.

'I can never catch a break with this man' I smile, shaking my head and dropping the robe to change into something more comfortable.

~~~~

"There she is" Jungkook say when he catches sight of me walking down the steps and into the kitchen where he has both of our lunches set out across the island from each other. "This looks so good!" I compliment the food he's made as he motions for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry it took me a while to come down" I apologize, sitting down and taking a drink of water before piercing a fork though the strawberry he has in a bowl full of fruit for us to share. "It's alright, I don't mind waiting for you. Seems like I tired you out last night so I'm glad you got some sleep" he say, smiling over the lip of his glass, making me choke on the next strawberry I had just placed in my mouth.

"You okay Darling?" he asks, handing me a napkin, with that last word aiding to my death by asphyxiation along with the strawberry lodged in my throat. "I'm fine" I choke out after a few more coughs and a drink of water.

"You seem rather jumpy today. Is something wrong?" he asks, tilting his head a bit and attentively waiting for my answer. "I'm fine, I think I'm still trying to wake up" I say, faking a yawn at the end to hopefully legitimize my claim. "Fair enough" he says, taking a bite of his food and grabbing his phone when it starts ringing.

"You can take that if you want" I say, taking a drink of water and glancing down at his phone before making eye contact with him. "No it's alright, I can take care of it later" he brushes off, silencing the call and taking a drink of water.

"So do you have any plans for the day?" he questions, looking at me as if I'm the most fascinating thing on earth. "Well, um, no not really. Do you?" I echo and when he goes to open his mouth to respond he's cut off by his phone ringing, not doubt from the same number again.

"Just take it. I'll be here when you get back I promise" I tease and he clears his throat, unbeknownst to me have flashbacks of when I asked him to take my virginity.

"It's for work, I'll be back soon" he says and I nod my head in response and close my eyes when he comes over to give me a kiss on the forehead like he's done time and time again but when I look up at him afterwards I see he hasn't made moves to leave.

His phone stopped ringing at some point which leave us with a lingering silence with so many words unsaid ultimately cut off by another incoming call. "I'm sorry" he whispers, his eyes glancing down at my lips before he turns around to head to his office answering with a curt 'What?' to whoever is on the other end of that call.

'I would hate to be that guy' I smile to myself, the vision of seeing him get mad comes to mind leaving my pressing my thighs together. 'Why am I so fucking horny these days?' I roll my eyes and continue eating my lunch, laughing at the sound of his frustration but hating that he's going through it at the same time.

~~~~~

It's been about a half an hour and he's still on the phone leaving me scrolling through mine until my brain feels as though it's turned to mush, a part of my brain occupied by him and only him.

As I hear another irritated sigh I decide I'll bring him some pain medication to help with the onset headache I'm sure he's having. It's gotta be a big problem if they're calling him on a Saturday morning.

I open the door slowly and peak my head in, being met with the sight of him with his laptop open and a mess of papers all over his desk. He looks up at me with an apologetic wince but waves me in nonetheless.

I raise my arms up, showing a full glass of water along with a bottle of pills and he mouths a silent 'Thank you' and I nod happily, proud that I made the right decision and place the glass on his desk while I open the pill bottle and drop a couple onto his palm to which he places them in his mouth and immediately chases it with the glass of water.

Watching as his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he gulps down the water has my head dizzy for some reason but I'm not sure why. While I'm trying to come up with an explanation some water spills on his cheek as he swallows the rest.

I feel as though my body has been taken over by an outer being because my reaction was to catch that stray drop of water off his cheek with my thumb and bring it to my mouth.

His eyes dart over to mine, wide in shock and leaving me feeling as though I'd done something wrong. My next move being to hightail it out of here but he stops me with a firm grasp on my hip, making me lean up against his desk next to him.

I make an effort to slip out of his hold but he gives me a warning glance, wordlessly telling me to behave and I do just that, shutting my mouth and watching as he works. He keeps a hand on my waist, making sure I'll stay, his thumb gently rubbing circles on my hip mindlessly where my shirt had risen up in my try to escape.

I do my best to keep my composure but the visions of last night flashing though my head makes it hard to control myself from rubbing my thighs together and I ultimately lose the battle.

Forgetting that he still has a hold on me earns me a knowing glance when he notices my actions, his gaze gradually getting more and more heated.

I lean back in an effort to get comfortable while I wait, my palms helping me balance on his desk behind me, leaving my chest sticking out a bit. I earn a tight squeeze on my waist as a warning to be patient and to stop squirming, which at the moment is very hard to accomplish with him looking so fucking sexy talking business with the man on the other line.

Was I relieved that it was a man calling him three times in a row on a Saturday afternoon? Yes, yes I was. It's none of my business though, nor do I have any grounds to have an opinion on it but his hand sliding up my waist says otherwise.

"Yes. Okay, okay alright was that everything? Okay well we'll pick this up on Monday morning. Thanks alright you have a good weekend too. Okay bye" he says, looking at me the whole time he finishes up his call, squeezing my waist now, making my breathing pick up and I know I'm in trouble when he hangs up the phone.

"You're a little minx you know that?" he says, turning his chair to face me and takes his hand off my waist only to slide it down my arms and hold my hand, placing kisses on my knuckles. "What do you mean?" I question, already breathless from the look of him sitting back in his chair, his legs spread wide and his gaze getting darker by the moment.

"You know what I mean. You came in here acting all innocent and helpful and next thing I know it you're licking water off my cheek? Seems pretty naughty Bunny. Don't you think?" he says while kissing the tips of my fingers, making sparks fly through my arms and straight to my head, keeping my gaze locked on his.

"I didn't lick it off your cheek" I say quietly but he lets out a dry chuckle in response. "Technicalities will get you nowhere sweetheart. Just admit that you wanted my attention, you were too impatient and couldn't even wait an hour for me to come back to you. It's okay, I won't laugh" he says, pulling on my hand and making me stumble onto his lap, my legs hanging over one of them.

"I- I just wanted to hel-" "I'm sure you did Darling and you were so thoughtful bringing me that medicine but I know you wanted something else huh?" he says while brushing away the hair that had fallen on my face when he pulled me down.

I shake my head but he cocks a brow at me, wordlessly telling me to tell him the truth so I in turn nod my head, admitting that deep down I did want his attention again.

"Now what was it that my Princess wanted? Did she just want attention or did she want to be touched again? Wanted me to take care of her again?" he taunts, taking note of all the times he's seen me rub my thighs together or get that breathless look on my face. I nod my head but he shakes his leaving me confused.

"If my Bunny wants something she's gotta use her words. Can you do that for me Darling? Can you use that pretty mouth of yours and tell me you want Daddy to touch you again?" he says, testing out a new name to call himself that's got me squirming again.

"Nuh uh none of that Darling, if you want something you've gotta ask for it. Now be a good girl and tell me what you want" he says, holding my hips in place, unbeknownst to me preventing me from rubbing my ass against him, still wanting to hold himself back.

His only priority and desire is to make me feel good and he wouldn't have it any other way. He knows I'm inexperienced and doesn't want to scare me away. He wants to take his time with me. 

"I want you to..." I start, trailing off from embarrassment, not being used to saying stuff like this let alone to someone as intoxicating as him.

"What was that Bunny? Didn't catch that" he presses, clearly enjoying the internal struggle that's shown all over my face. If he didn't know I had a shit poker face then he sure as hell knows now. No matter how you slice it he'll always be able to read me like a book.

"I want you to touch me" I whisper and he leans in as if he couldn't hear me but my lips at this point are inches from his, the slightest movement connecting mine with his.

"Lie back for me yeah?" he asks, his lips ghosting against mine before grabbing my hip and guiding me to sit on his desk before pushing all of his papers and laptop to the side dramatically making me laugh at the motion until I notice his laptop falling to the floor. His eyes follow mine and notice said device and simply shrugs.

"I can buy another one" he mumbles against my lips before connecting them in a short lived kiss as he guides me down, my back against his desk while he hovers over me. "You wanna try something else?" he says, watching my expression change from one of nervous excitement to intrigue.

"You trust me?" he questions, watching my face for any hesitation but finds none. "Yes" I say, nodding my head and he smiles before placing a kiss on my lips. "Close your eyes for me yeah? I promise I won't put it in. Well, not yet" he says and my eyes bug out at his words, my legs that are wrapped around his waist pull him even closer in an effort to close my legs.

"You like that? You like the idea of me claiming you as mine? Me being your first, your first everything" he says, leaning down and placing kisses on my neck, his warm breath against my sensitive skin driving me insane. I shudder at the feeling and he chuckles before placing a kiss under my ear, garnering another shudder in response.

"Answer me Bunny. You want me to be your first everything? Want me to learn and teach you everything you need to know about your body and what brings you pleasure?" he says while tracing his right hand along my torso, ghosting his fingertips along my waistband.

"Yes. Yes, I want you. Please just take it, take everything" I mumble and he tsks at me, again leaving me confused. "I'm not just gonna take everything. I'm giving you as much as I'm taking love. If you're letting me have you then you have me in return. Never forget that" he says and I nod my head. "I won't forget" I utter and he smiles in response before telling me to close my eyes again.

"Can I take these off bunny?" he asks in regards to my leggings and I mumble out a quick 'yes' trying to hold the whimpers at bay from the thought of me letting him have complete control over me. I know I have the power to stop everything but I wouldn't want to. Not with him.

As he slides everything off me he curses at the sight of me. "Fuck you're dripping" he rasps and I try to close my legs in response, now truly feeling that sense of vulnerability "You've gotta stay nice and still for me Darling. Can you do that?" he asks and I respond with a whimper which satisfies him, having mercy on me this time.

He drags a finger along my folds just as he had done before, gathering up my arousal before circling around my bud, gaining him a soft moan in response. "Be loud for me yeah? Wanna hear you moan my name" he prompts, wanting to hear what his name sounds like when it passes through my lips filled with ecstasy.

He doesn't wait for a response and just continues to play with me just as he did last night but as I feel myself getting closer he pulls away leaving me groaning from the feeling of getting that high again being taken away.

"Ready for something new princess?" he asks, caressing one of my thighs and placing a kiss on the inside of it. "W-wait!" I flinch nervously, not knowing how to feel about this. I've heard about it before but I never knew if it would be something that I'd like.

"You want me to stop?" he ask, pulling away a bit and letting me take control. "I'm scared, I-i I don't know what it'll feel like. I'm not sure if I'll like it" I admit, feeling as though I was about to cum just from the thought of him doing that to me.

"I can stop if you'd like, it's up to you princess. I wanna make you feel good and this is something I think you'll love. I know it's something I'd love to do to you if you'll let me" he says, coaxing me into it since he knows I'm just nervous, placing a few more kisses on my skin, this time switching to the other thigh.

I take a few breaths and think about it but decide to trust him, just as he asked me to. 

"I want you to do it" I let out, my cheeks burning up at the thought of what I'm asking for. "You want Daddy to eat you out?" he says smiling, loving the fact that I've still kept my eyes closed. I start to squirm, feeling his warm breath traveling further up my thigh, the anticipation driving me crazy. 

"P-please" I choke out, tears prickling my eyes as the intensity of the moment increases. "Patience Princess. Remember what I said about being loud?" he asks, his breath fanning directly over my core, making me lose all sense of feeling except for what he's barely doing to me. He hasn't even touched me and I'm about to cum. 

He leans in and gives a soft kiss to my clit, my legs spread wide and giving him full access to me. I take in a sharp breath at the sensation, my muscles locking up only for a moment but nonetheless catching his attention. 

"You want me to keep going?" he whispers into me, his nose nudging my clit, making me clench around nothing and he notices right away, utterly exposed to him. I moan out a ‘yes’ and he smiles, placing a kiss on my upper thigh before going back in, slowly making out with my clit, his tongue tracing circles around it before traveling down to my hole that's begging to be full. 

He licks inside me and watches my reaction, my brows drawn together and my lips parted, uttering curses when I feel him slip his tongue in further, the sensation driving me insane. My back arches off the table when he presses his face against me. His nose rubbing against my clit while his lip and tongue make out with my entrance. 

If I were to open my eyes now I bet all I could see was the world spinning around me, the feeling of being drunk on him being my drug of choice and I don't think I'll ever be able to live without it.

"Fuck Jungkook" I moan out, this being the first time I get close to screaming his name and he growls into me before going back to playing with my clit, making me do it again. "You sound so sweet Bunny, but you taste even sweeter" he groans, watching as my chest rises and falls in the baggy shirt I've still got on. 

"Do me a favor love and lift up your shirt, that's it. Wanna watch you play with your tits" he rasps out. Doing just as he asks I moan at the image of him watching me touch myself again, incredibly turned on by the though of it alone. 

"There you go, you're doing so good for me. Look so pretty laying here and letting me play with you in my office. Fuck you're driving me crazy" he praises making me whimper in response. 

"You like that? You like it when Daddy praises you? Like it when he tells you you're being so perfect for him? Pretty just wants to be worshiped doesn't she?" I let out a moan at the thought of him taking time and worshiping anything and everything about me. I try to close my legs again on impulse but he pries them open, growling at the thought of me hiding from him. 

"I'm not done with you" he says, biting the inside of my thigh leaving me arching my back off the desk again, squeezing my breasts and making him even hungrier for me if even possible. 

"Does my baby like pain? Does she want me to leave marks all over her as a reminder? A reminder of how you let me have my way with you while you were spread out for me on my desk. I'm not gonna be able to focus next time I have to work in here. Always gonna remember how sweet you taste and how adorable you sound"  he says, licking the area he just bit before sucking a mark into the same spot.

I groan at the feeling, the slight sting from the bruise making me want to ask him for more. To mark me everywhere like he said, always leaving a reminder. 

I scream at the feeling of him putting his mouth on me again, kissing, sucking, licking into me without mercy, catching me off guard by the intensity. I let out an incoherent string of curses, hoping he knows I'm begging for more and he moans against me, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout my body. 

"Don't stop, please please don't stop" I scream, the first decipherable words I've uttered in a while. On the cusps of ecstasy he growls into me when he sees me throw my hand over my mouth, embarrasses by how loud I'm getting. "Louder" he growls as a warning, not a request and so I do. 

I get louder and louder, screaming his name with curses being the only other words in my vocabulary. I feel as his movements get more intense, now using his fingers as well and moments later a wave of pleasure is crashing down, making me let out any and every sound I could possibly make, my voice getting softer and softer and I start to come down. 

Just when I feel like he's gonna stop he doesn't, he picks up the pace again which makes me whine in overstimulation, trying to wiggle away from him. 

"You can give me one more can't you?" he asks, pulling back only to lick a stripe into me, taking time to suck my sensitive bud into his mouth. "N-no no I can't" I say, shaking my head and trying to push him off and he pulls back and chooses to lean over me. 

"Just one more Bunny. I know you can" he encourages. Although I'm reluctantly saying no we both know I want to experience it, wanna experience coming undone one right after the other. 

He comes down and kisses me, making me taste myself on his lips and I can't get enough of him, I want to be good for him, I want him. I whine when he delicately runs his fingers over me again "You're so swollen but I'm sure you can handle it, can't you Darling?" he taunts. 

He pulls away from my lips and trails his down, kissing and sucking marks all over my chest giving me a bit more time to recover before deciding. "Yes, fuck yes" I moan when he greedily sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. My back arches again when he moans around it, making me desperately want to cum again, wanting it as much as he does now. 

"Want you to watch me this time. Can you do that?" he ask, giving me one last kiss on the lips before sliding his tongue down my torso, stopping to bite my hip, breaking me out of the daze I'd been left in, asking me to answer.

I nod my head and he luckily takes that as a response, going easy on me since I'm still not fully there after what he'd done to me. What he's still doing to me...

~~~

After he makes me cum again I lose all sense of reality and I can barely tell up from down. He leaves the room only for a moment to get a warm towel to clean me up and I take that time to catch my breath, staring at the celling and trying to wrap my head around what just happened. 

I jump at the feeling of him cleaning me up gently and he apologizes, going a little slower with a lighter touch, doing just enough before helping me sit up. "You with me?" he asks, steadying me as I still sit on his desk, swaying back and forth. 

I turn my eyes to him and blink sleepily, smiling and taking in his handsome features and notice how red and swollen his lips have gotten. 

"There she is" he coos, brushing my hair back and cupping my face, looking at me as if I was incredibly precious to him. Little do I know that that's exactly what I am to him. 

That's a conversation for another time though. For now he'll just enjoy the dazed and freshly fucked look I give him, laughing at how adorable I look. 

"You wanna bath?" he asks and I nod, making the corner of his lips turn up before he scoops me up. I cuddle into him and link my arms around his neck, enjoying the slight bouncing sensation I feel with every step he takes. 

After he ascends the steps with ease I watch as we pass by my bedroom door and get confused as to why he's not taking me to bathe in there. I frown at him and he chuckles shaking his head and walking the both of us into his room.

"My bathtub is bigger and more comfortable" he explains and I nod, tightening my hold on him for only a moment before he guides me to sit on the edge of the tub. 

"You want a bubble bath?" he asks, turning to look through his cabinet and pulls out two bottles, one that smell of lavender and the other of eucalyptus. I point at the lavender and he smiles, nodding his head and putting the other one back before walking over to turn the faucet on, adjusting it until it's just the right temperature. 

"Do you take bubble baths Mr. Jeon?" I tease, earning a playful glare that breaks into a smirk moments later. "Who says grown men can't tale bubble baths? And it's Daddy to you" he says booping me on the nose, giving me butterflies. 

"You like being called Daddy huh?" I tease again and he crouches down in front of me, putting us at eye level. "I dunno, sounded like you liked it back there too" he says, smirking when he sees me avert my eyes, this time placing a kiss on my nose before straightening up. 

"Arms up" he orders and I lift them up so he can take off the last piece of clothing I've got left. "Who's shirt is this?" he asks, taking note of the oversize fit. "It's mine" I say truthfully, too quick for his liking though, making him suspicious of me. "Uh huh" he says slowly before throwing it in the corner of the bathroom. 

With a look like that even I can tell that I won't be getting that back anytime soon. It really is my shirt though...

After he pours in the bubbles and I'm satisfied by their bubbliness (which he reminds me is not a real word) I get in and moan at the feeling of the warmth enveloping me. My muscles losing all of their tension as I breathe in the calming scent of lavender surrounding me.

"You enjoying yourself?" he chuckles, leaning up against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest just as he had done this morning and I gulp at the sight. "Yeah, I needed this" I say, sinking further into it and being swallowed whole by the bubbles. "Well just call me if you need me" he says but before I can stop myself I quickly tell him 'No'.

He tilts his head to the side and smiles softly, taking in the precious sight of me surrounded by bubbles with almost a panicked look on my face, showing my honesty in wanting him to stay. "Can you sit with me maybe?" I ask, looking down and playing with the bubbles, shy that I'm begging for even more of his attention. 

"Sure Darling" he says, grabbing a stool that was tucked in a corner and placing it right next to the tub so he can stay with me. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence I break it with the one question that's been on my mind since I felt the air shift between us. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I say, looking up at him, noticing that he's started to play around with the bubbles that rest high above the surface. "No" he answers, pushing a dampened strand of hair off my face. 

"What?" I freeze, surprised at his answer. "I know what you're gonna ask so no. You can't, not yet. Let's get you cleaned up and well rested before we go there, alright?" he asks giving me a sad smile, so many words left unsaid behind those eyes, begging to be released.

I wait for a moment, studying him and notice that he looks almost...vulnerable. Something I had never seen from him before so I decide to just nod my head, returning the same smile before leaning back against the tub and sinking in a bit further, the water now just below my nose. 

"Aye! Don't you go drowning on me in there" he chuckles and my eyes smile, glad my efforts of lightening the mood had worked. 

Taking it a step further I choose violence and splash him, making the bottom of his shirt get wet. He gasps at the action and puts his hand over his chest "I make you a nice bath and this is how you repay me? The audacity!" he says dramatically before giving me a splash in return leaving me gasping just as he had done.  

After exchanging a few more splashes and laughs we call it a truce and we sit there talking and joking around until the water goes cold, going back to that sense of normalcy that I was so scared that we might've lost... 

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[my-castles-crumbling]

OMG Clandestine is done!

I am so so so excited to say I just posted the epilogue to Clandestine! Featuring a beautiful commission from @itslotuseater!

Ships: Jegulus, background wolfstar, dorlene, pandalily, rosekiller Rating: M Length: 142k (FINISHED! COMPLETED! AHH!)

Summary:

He was crying. “You can do that?” He repeated, feeling like he was in some sort of dream. And then, Sirius seemed to realize. Because for a twelve-year-old, he was decently smart, and knew him better than anyone. “D’you…d’you want to do that, Reggie? I thought…I thought it was just a game?” But he could only shake his head. Because it wasn't a game. He was a boy. And he could tell from Sirius's nervously resigned expression that Sirius knew it, too. "It's...not a game." --- There's not enough Trans Regulus Black, so here's a fic to help fix the problem. Rated mature for lots of references to transphobia and Walburga Black being a piece of shit. COMPLETED (I'm not crying, you are)

Ahhh, my long-winded thank-you note:

First and foremost, thank you to Arson, my amazing Alpha Reader who brainrotted with me throughout almost the entire process. I literally could not have finished this without you, and I am so thankful to have you in my life. You've helped me through so many cases of horrible Writer's Block, encouraged me whenever I needed it, and you're an amazing friend. I hope you love your "Barty and Evan's Bitch" shirt :D

Second, to my wife, who literally dealt with me talking about this fic for TEN MONTHS. You're literally the most amazing and supportive person in my life, and I love you more than words. Thank you for being the James to my Regulus.

Third, to my Beta Reader, Kat, who is still wading through the trenches of this fic finding all my mistakes. I am so glad to have you and thank you for dealing with all of my errors and answering my messages at odd hours of the night.

Fourth, to all of the people who have encouraged me: Abby, Danielle, Kelz, everyone on the discord servers who has seen me struggle, you guys are amazing and I am so thankful to you.

Fifth, to the lovely people who created fanart for this fic. You all are amazing and you brought this to life. I bow down to you, truly, you are so incredibly talented.

Sixth, to the people who I interviewed about dysphoria and being on T, so I could have a more well-rounded understanding about Regulus's experience. Though I identify as trans, I am so thankful that other trans people were willing to give their experiences in areas I wanted to describe as accurately as possible.

And last, to all of you, who read and kudosed and inboxed and recommended and commented and kept me going. You all are amazing, and you've made this such a positive experience. This fic really was for me, to work through my own gender an discover about myself, and I am so thankful you have been here along this journey.

I want to reiterate that this is one trans person's journey, but I think it's so important to have representation in all forms of media. I'm hoping that my version of Reggie has helped with that a little bit! He's my baby, and he deserves all the good things.

Keep an eye out for the B-sides of this fic! I'll add a chapter to this work linking to it, so if you're subscribed to this, you'll get an e-mail. I'll also be editing this work to fix all the errors, and I'll be doing the B-sides as I go. It probably won't be for a couple of weeks, since I am now working, and I won't have any strict posting schedule, but I'm excited for those as well!

I love you all. Thanks for being a part of this journey.

[sweetimpurity]

On the Run 3

w.c. 2.2k NSFW Chapter 1 Chapter 2

a/n: MDNI and some violence at the end. I recommend rereading the previous chapters and keeping an eye out for edits. ♥️

Chapter 3

“C’mere baby… it’s okay now…” He sighs, reaching for you across the seat. Glancing subtly out the rearview window to make sure you’re actually in the clear as you melt into him. Cuddling into his chest. “It’s alright….” He coos, rubbing your back, his hands going under his jacket, feeling your warm skin underneath. Rubbing his hands over your bare skin. His eyes scanning around the car. Just to be sure. 

He feels like a prick for making you go through all that. Bringing you to orgasm and then sending you into a state of pure panic. He should be laying in bed with you, holding you until you fall asleep. Giving you the aftercare you deserve. Instead he’s holding you in the darkness of his car, hiding and feeling you shaking in his hands. The adrenaline is pumping hard and strong. Hearts beating hard and fast. “Mig…” You sigh, lifting your head and kissing his cheek, nuzzling your lips against his jaw and into his neck. “You okay, sweet girl?” His hand caresses the back of your neck, pulling your head up to look in his eyes. 

Breathless, you take his hand, pressing it flat against your chest to feel your drumming heart. Looking in your eyes, and he can feel it. So hard and quick. Your breath hitches in a silent needy sob, pressing your lips to his. Fingers instantly roaming his cheeks, his neck, his dark curls. His strong arms anchor around your lower back, pulling you further onto him, straddling his lap. 

Maybe it’s the adrenaline, maybe it’s the thrill, or maybe it’s the hormones flooding your bloodstream from him making you come less than 20 minutes ago. But you need him. He didn’t even come the first time. He was so focused on you, and then so concentrated on getting you two out of there. But you desperately want to make him feel good. Your hips push down on him. Drawing a soft puff of breath from his lips.”Baby…” Against your lips. “We don’t have to…” He sighs. Knowing exactly what you’re thinking. Knowing you’re both all wound up. “I want to…” You whisper breathy and needy. Grinding on him a little harder. 

“You take such good care of me, Miguel…” You hum, tugging on his hair just gently, his head pulled back on the edge of the bench seat. Eyes still on you. “Let me take care of you…” You whisper, nuzzling into his neck, kissing his skin. Hearing his breath get heavier, deeper. His eyes flutter shut. Trying to block out the anxiety of getting caught, of you being hurt. Just letting his mind flood with you, the smell of your shampoo, the feeling of your warm flushed skin under his fingertips, the sound of your voice. As if it’s the last time he’ll ever feel you. You’re all he’s ever wanted. 

His big hand moves from your thumping heartbeat, down your chest to your soft naked breasts. Both hands coming up to cup the soft roundness. Under the privacy of his jacket you’re wearing. He cups your soft mounds in his big hands. The weight and warmth perfect against his palms. And you want him to put his hands all over you. 

He’s always so generous; so giving; all attention on you. But just this time you really want to make it about him. Make him feel good. You lean back, his dark eyes flick down to his hands on your chest, the plump and plush of your tits. Rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, pulling soft sweet moans from your lips. 

Without another thought, he leans forward, tongue pressing flat against your breast and lips pursing and kissing your soft skin. “Hahhhh…” You sigh, trembling from the adrenaline and the feeling of his tongue on your sensitive skin. Giving equal attention to each side, lapping, kissing and sucking until his fingers curl and tug in your hair, pulling back and looking over your chest at his work. Your tits glistening with his saliva in the faint moonlight peeking out through the trees, coming in through the car windows. 

His eyes go to your face, looking down at him with that same face he always loves. Like you could cry at any moment, or come just as easily. Flushed cheeks and eyes like glossy glass marbles, so pretty and innocent. When he breaks away and looks at your face, you smile needy and lean in closer. Kissing his lips softly and then pressing your forehead to his. You look down and he does the same when he realizes your intention. Your fingers on his belt buckle, so hastily buckled, undoing it slowly, his fingers in your hair, teasing down the back of your neck. It’s too dark to see clearly, but you can feel it as you free him from his jeans, heavy and stiff for you. His breath hitching when he feels the soft palm of your hand. With the other hand, you reach down between your legs, collecting your slick on your fingers. Still so wet from earlier, and Miguel didn’t have a chance to help you clean up. He grows impossibly harder at the faint sight of your own glimmering wetness on your hands. 

He gives you an almost pleading look, breathless and already on the edge. Shuddering when you start to stroke his length, the heel of your palm massaging his tip every time you pull back. The slick on your hand making it even harder for him to bear. 

He’s so generous, so giving and protecting that you’re not usually given the chance to please him like this. Because it’s always all about you with him. You’re surprised he's giving you this chance. 

He breathes sharply through his nose as you take control, and he’s not used to it but he’ll give you anything and everything. His hands go back to your waist as you keep working your hand faster, trying to quickly bring him into release, in the same generosity he showed you earlier. He groans and looks down at your hands before putting his hands over yours and stopping you. “Miguel, I’m just-” You huff. Prepared to scold him to just let you make him feel good for once. But you're silenced with a kiss and his breathless words. 

“Need to be inside you, baby” He pants and you gaze deeply in his eyes, wanting to give him anything he needs. With his hands on your hips still, you kneel, pushing your shorts to the side, positioning him at your entrance, hovering over his lap before slowly sinking down on him. Even though you just had him inside you a little while ago, he still stretches you, making you gasp. His jaw drops, eyes glued to yours and he watches you hungrily as you begin to move on his dick slowly. He swallows thickly and speaks low in his deep voice. “Faster baby…” He begs but he doesn’t tighten his grip on you, he’s giving you a chance to do this, he knows you're trying your hardest to do this for him and he thinks it’s adorable. It’s not gonna last long though because no matter what he plans on fucking your breathless even if you wants it to he ‘just for him’.  

You try to move faster like he asks but it becomes harder for you to resist the pleasure and focus on him. Biting your lip to stop from moaning but his cock is just so big and perfect that it’s hard not to come immediately. But you want to try for him. All for him.  

“Faster” He whispers and finally he leans forward and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you down harder and deeper onto him, making you moan out. You've been trying to keep quiet so that he’ll allow you to do this for him. But he knows you too well, and he doesn’t care, all he cares about is you. 

He starts quickly fucking his hips up into you, instantly making you pant like an animal, your hands pressed to his chest. Pouting, huffing, whining now that he’s ruined your plan. “Cmon babygirl… just let me do the work…” He pants, smiling and he keeps pounding his hips up into your cunt. “Wait!…wait wait…” You whimper and he slows his movements so you can speak properly. “What is it?” He asks softly, brushing some hair behind your ear, pumping into you slowly still. “Th-this was s-supposed to be for y-you…” You manage to say, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in close to him. He smiles at your completely fucked out face, kissing your lips softly.

“This is for me, baby…” He says softly and picks up the rhythm again, making you moan and your back arch over him. He gets all the pleasure he needs watching your perfect pretty face, getting fucked senseless on his dick. “Mmm!” You squeal and sigh, his fingers brushing over your tummy, your sternum, caressing your breasts and making everything all the more tantalizing. 

“Please Miguel…” You beg him and he knows what you want. If he won’t let you be in control, he can at least let himself come for you. He moans softly, letting his head fall down into your chest as he allows himself to succumb to the feeling.

 “I’m… I-“ You gasp and he feels you squeezing around him, knowing you’re close. Knowing you want him right there with you. You lean forward, overcome with pleasure and hold his face with your two hands, letting your lips ghost past his cheek and to his ear. “Miggy please…” You whimper and this pushes him over the edge, both hands squeezing your hips as he pulls your down hard on him. Rolling his hips up in short pulses, pumping his load deep into you with a shuddering, rasping groan.  And you smile, feeling it in your tummy; the warmth of him spilling out into your womb. 

He lets his back hit the car seat as he twitches inside you and your walls spasm in aftershocks. “Oh.. thank you, baby… thank you…” You whisper and kiss his face all over. He’s tired now and all he does is let his head hit the headrest and let you pepper his cheeks, his lips, his forehead and jaw with countless kisses. “I love you” You breathe out and collapse, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “I love you…” He whispers, warm hands caressing the expanse of your back and holding you so close. Just his voice alone makes you want him like this over and over again.

“I’m gonna keep us safe, baby… I promise.” He whispers. A bittersweet twist in his chest. Thinking of the things they might have to do. That he’ll have to do. 

If he’d never been involved with the gang, then you wouldn’t be in this situation. But it was inevitable. Your brother, the guys, they all were family to him. You were his family. Growing closer since he was initiated. When he was 17 and you were 16. Years passed and when he realized he'd fallen for you, he wanted to give you better than all this. Better than you’ve always had. You don't deserve the anxiety, the chaos; uncertainty. You deserve love and stability and he wants to give that to you. Far away from all of this. He’s still haunted by your brother's face. Tyler staring at him like he’d just stabbed him in the back. When he told him he was done. 

… 

“So you fuck my little sister and then that’s it? That’s all, you’re just done? Got what you wanted?” Tyler yelled, backing up from the punch he just landed on Miguel’s jaw. Miguel sighed, wiping his bloodied lip, backing up to a safer distance. 

“I gave you everything you’ve got, you’d be nothing without me.” The boss seethed, feeling betrayed. But it was not Miguel’s intention. 

“I want to take her away from all this…” Miguel sighs, flinching when Tyler looks like he’ll hit him again for saying what he just did. “I can’t do that and still be looking over my shoulder waiting for the cops! I need to get away clean, Ty!” 

“If you want to leave, then leave. See how long you make it out there without the protection I’ve been giving you all this time.” 

“What about her?? I need to make sure she’ll be safe!” Miguel yells.

“She’s not going with you! You’re done with her. Say goodbye and leave. She's staying here. Where she's meant to be.” Tyler says in finality. 

“You… can’t do that!”

“I can do anything I want… and she'll have nothing to do with a traitor like you.” 

“Traitor?” Miguel scoffs, hurt by the accusation. He'd always been loyal, always. “I brought you into my operations all those years ago and this is how you repay me?” Tyler asks seriously. He’s not being fair. Using his power to enforce whatever rules he sees fit. 

“I love her.” Miguel says firmly, unwavering.

“Well it’s over now. Just leave. And if I find out you’re messing with her, I’ll see to it myself that you have no working legs to walk away with."

…

His arms tighten around you at the memory. The reminder of all the things he’s already had to do to get away and take you with him. To just be with you. He’ll do everything in his power to not let those efforts go to waste. 

To be continued…

@safixiovi @daddyfroglegs @laysmt @theplaid-wearingmoose @lazyjellyfish300

@reader-1290 @webshooterrr9

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Off the Page 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: skinny!Steve

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You take a page out of Maria’s book and sleep on the train. The night at the hotel wasn’t long enough. By the time you ate, you were too tired to enjoy the fancy tub and your alarm woke you well before you were ready. As your stop comes, you’re still groggy and barely ready for your evening meet and greet. 

Isn’t this the dream? Running yourself ragged as a bestselling author? Seeing all the fans who love the words that you wrote? Who see themselves in the characters you created? So much a dream that you feel as if you’re falling asleep again. 

Wake up! You splash water over your face in the bookstore bathroom. It’s not glamourous. You have the small space to refresh before you face the masses. You hoped for a smaller crowd given the time of day and the lesser known location. How wrong you are; you can hear the buzz of fans through the walls. 

“Hey,” Maria enters without knocking. She’s like that. You and your agent have gotten rather cozy in those last weeks. A bit too much at times. “Almost ready?” 

“Yeah, sorry, I... is this blouse okay?” You ask as you touch the satin, patterned with violets, “I don’t even know why I bought this?” 

“It looks fine,” she assures, “you’re not a writer if you’re not at least a little eccentric, right?” 

“Oh, and what about book agents?” You challenge, “are they all so stylish?’ 

“Of course. We’re the face that sells the tour. All you have to do is smile and sacrifice your hand to carpal tunnel syndrome,” she teases, “just you wait until the interview. That's the heavy lifting.” 

“Interview?” You check yourself one last time in the mirror. 

“Didn’t I mention? The local station wants a sit down before we’re off tomorrow,” she explains, “I said yes. It’s a decent check and good business. Any publicity is good publicity. Publisher signed off on it too so... can’t back out.” 

“Oh, and you were going to tell me when?” 

“Right now,” she shrugs, “come on, your adoring fans are waiting for their elf queen.” 

“Oof, don’t,” you cringe, “you make it sound so lame.” 

“If it was lame, you wouldn’t be here,” she asserts. 

“Suppose you’re right,” you pack your things up into your bag and shove it in the corner. “Alright, I’m ready.” 

You follow her into the hall and through to the main area of the bookstore. It’s been closed early for the event, a meet and greet exclusive to those who claimed the limited one hundred tickets for sale. Each ticket includes the cost of a free signed edition and bookmark. Funny to think you’d once been on the other side of one of these things. The eager beaver reader aspiring to be the star author. 

As you come into sigh of the audience, they cheer. You’re still not used to that either. You wave and smile out at them. The moderator, an employee of the bookshop chain, calls for their attention over the microphone and introduces you. There’s another softer round of applause. 

You take your seat on the stool and let out a breath. You start with the reading. You try not to do the same chapter, instead cycling through your favourites. Some you even know by rote now. 

Then comes the Q and A session. You know all the answers. You find it’s always the same questions. Besides, you created this world, these characters, if there isn’t anything written, then you get to decide. 

A group a giggly women finish asking their questions about the ‘rumoured’ sequel to which you give your PR friendly deflection. After them, you wait for the next person to appear. There’s some scuffling at the microphone as they lower it. You wait patiently and smile at the slender blond man. He’s vaguely familiar. 

“Hi, um, my question is, whether Emeris is truly the promised knight or if he was just in the right place at the right time?” 

You nod as you listen, your thoughts whirring. It’s not an entirely out-there question. It isn’t what he’s asking that gives you pause. You swear you’ve seen him before. 

“Well, we can’t know for sure. I like to think of the promised knight as not a specific person fated from birth but rather a possibility for all. The promised knight is the one who can step up in that time of need and do what it is needed,” you explain. “I hope that makes sense.” 

The man doesn’t speak right away, himself stalling before he can respond, “yes, I guess it does. Thank you.” 

He lingers at the microphone for a moment as he watches you. He clutches a worn copy to his chest tightly. That’s familiar too. 

Strange. You're sure there’s lots of people who double dip. You have to admit you did it once yourself. Sometimes you just need that thrill.  

The blond man steps back and lets the next person ahead of him but he doesn’t go far. He stays close to the queue of people and you feel him staring you down. Everyone is watching you but his gaze just feels so much more intense. You do your best to focus on the person at the microphone. 

Several others ask their questions or just give their praise. The man remains. You can’t shake the sense of him. He’s like a shadow. You don’t know why you’re so aware of him. 

Finally, you finish up and it’s time to announce the special prize. It’s a raffle set up by ticket number. The package isn’t anything special; a collector’s edition, a mug, and some pens that look like quills. The moderator brings up a box filled with slips and you reach inside. You read out the number and the crowd mutters. 

“Me,” a deep voice rings out, a hand popping up from lower down. The blond man steps forward and waves his ticket, “it’s mine.” 

Strange coincidence. You keep your smile plastered on. You don’t need another Maria lecture about your tired moping. You’re handed the prize basket and you carry it down to meet the man. 

“Congratulations,” you say as he meets you at the lip of the low platform. 

“Thank you,” he beams up brightly, “it’s nice to see you again.” 

You try not to show your surprise, “yeah, uh... you too.” You don’t know what else to say. You don’t remember exactly where you saw him and definitely not a name; you hear too many of those to keep track. 

“Really?” He breathes. 

“Er, enjoy your prize. Thank you so much for coming.” 

“Of course. Always. Anytime,” he avows shakily. “’To you, my queen, I bid my blood and breath.’” 

You hesitate. That’s from the book. Emeris proclaims it to the elvish protagonist on her quest to reclaim her stolen homeland. It’s flattering yet slightly unsettling to have it recited to you. 

“Have a good night,” you say gently and turn to walk back across the platform. You’re tired, you need to get out of here. 

[georgescitadel]

George R.R. Martin on the process of creating A Game Of Thrones

Part 1

It is all very well to talk of novels and novellas, sextets and trilogies, but when you come right down to it, those are only the boxes. The size and shape of the box does not matter nearly as much as what goes inside it; that is to say, the story. A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end (usually in that order). It must not be drawn out beyond its proper length, but neither should it be truncated so as to fit into a certain number of books or a certain number of pages, What is the “proper length” for a story, one might ask… but the answer changes with every story. It is not something that can be decided beforehand, or determined by some formula. It is something you learn along the way, during the writing, for it is only during the writing that a story truly comes alive.

A Game of Thrones certainly came alive for me, when I finally cleared away most of my remaining Hollywood commitments and sat down to work on the book in earnest in 1994. I had been away from the world and characters tor some time, but they had not grown cold on me. Far from it. No sooner did I plant my butt in front of my computer than I fell right through to Westeros. The world grew broader and deeper and more complex, the plots unrolled smoothly, the characters began to haunt me night and day. Sentences became paragraphs, paragraphs became scenes, scenes became chapters. I was not printing hardcopy, so there was no pile of finished pages growing beside my desk, but I could see the files multiplying on my hard drive. I had 300 pages, 400 pages, 500 pages, 600 pages… and I had a problem.

It was the spring of ’95 when it finally dawned on me. I was fast approaching the 800 pages that I had estimated as the length of the finished book, but most of my large cast of characters were nowhere near the places they were supposed to be. Oh, Dany was… I had always meant to hatch those dragon eggs at the climax of my first volume… but she was the only one. For the rest, the end was nowhere in sight. I did not see any way I could possibly wrap up everything else I’d planned in the pages remaining to me.

“Very well,” I told myself, “I’ll go a little over. This is not television. A few extra pages will not matter. Fantasy readers love big books, after all.” On I wrote, and on. I reached 800 pages, and passed by without slowing down. Page 900 came and went. As I approached 1000 pages I gulped, for that big round number had an awful weight, but I pushed past all the same. There had been other 1000 page books, after all. A Game of Thrones grew larger, and still larger. I had 1100 pages, 1200 pages, 1300 pages… and my problem had become a crisis. For even at that length, the end of the first book was still hundreds of pages away. I looked at what I’d written and thought about what I hadn’t written, and realized with a sense of mounting horror that I was headed toward a 2000 page manuscript.

- George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings Limited Edition Introduction (2002)

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: What We Did In The Dark {3}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, 18+ Mature Content, Angst, Small Time Jumps, Preggo Talk, Pregnancy Trope, Talk of Pregnancy Termination

Words: 6.4k

Summary: Neither of you planned any of it. You’d met by chance, and everything that happened after had to have been predestined. Now back to your own life, you find you have a special souvenir from your time in Mauritius and you have a tough decision to make.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

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What We Did In The Dark {1}**** | What We Did In The Dark {2}* |

Chapter Three: Better An Ooops….

“Take it easy!”

You groaned as you dropped face first onto your couch and let yourself spread out across the cool white leather. After 3 days in the hospital, tens of tests, and plenty of round-the-clock vitamin treatments to get your body up to standard for your condition you were finally released with prescriptions and doctor's orders to take it easy for a few days. You’d planned to come home and jump on your laptop to finish some things up, but Villie decided to bring you in and make sure you were settled. You knew she’d done it for a reason, and it was to make sure you didn’t do what you wanted to.

“So what do you feel like for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Tough shit. You’re going to eat. Your doctors said you need to take it easy, eat 3 balanced meals a day, and keep your stress levels down. So they took care of breakfast and lunch, now we order dinner.”

Villie dropped a heavy hand across your ass making you shout into the cushions of the couch. You shifted onto your side and rolled into a ball.

“What about the Halal spot that is on Blauvelt?”

You groaned and at the thought of all that meat covered with white creamy sauce, your stomach churned like the agitator inside of a washing machine. It didn’t feel right at all. Because of it, a ball of nausea formed in your chest, but your stomach grumbled.

“See, you’re hungry,” Villie assumed.

However, that was not the case. The thought of Halal made your stomach swirl like the letter “S”.

“No Halal.”

“Burgers, Mexican, Caribbean?”

None of those sounded any better. Suddenly, Villie gasped.

“Oooh, what about that Cuban spot?”

You allowed that to simmer for a few moments and when your stomach didn’t react you slowly sat up. In your mind’s eye, you saw a towering plate of empanadas beside another plate filled with Cuban-style seafood paella and a bowl of black bean soup and tostones. You looked to Villie and found her smiling widely.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You pulled out your phone and went to your food ordering app then found the restaurant she meant. You spent the following 5 or so minutes adding everything your stomach told you that you needed and had to have or else you’d die. By the time you’d checked out, your total and quantity were insane for just two people but as far as you were concerned everything was a necessity.

While Villie waited for the order, you took a quick shower. Or it was meant to be quick. Whenever you swiped your decadently soaped-up exfoliating gloves across your abdomen you paused up and your mind wandered. There was an actual baby inside of you right now—two to be accurate. You were carrying the babies of a man you’d only slept with once, well multiple times over the span of 5ish hours. You didn’t know him and you sure as hell hadn’t planned for this to be the outcome of your wanton night of pleasure.

There were so many things on your mind, so many worries to add to the ones you already had. According to Dr. Olumici, you had already reached the cut-off point to ethically terminate with her and most other providers. However, you could find other physicians who would perform an early 2nd-trimester termination. Through your research in the hospital, you educated yourself on why it was too unethical and brought so much controversy. Once you understood you couldn’t fathom doing it.

With that answer, you also couldn’t fathom yourself carrying these babies or giving them a life. You weren’t exactly stable in your life or career. You’d only just begun the path and had so many other things planned to accomplish before the whole adding to the population of the world thing. That meant you had a predicament on your hands that now only had one resolution—adoption. Even that didn’t sit right with you. Could you go on living your life knowing you had a life somewhere else in the world living, a being that came from you, a being you wouldn’t know in any way?

So you spent the entire shower going back and forth over your options but that only sent you into an endless circle with resolutions that weren’t real ones because they posed more problems and raised more questions. By the time you came out of the shower and returned to the living room, Villie was lost in her phone with the food spread out across your coffee table.

“That was longer than usual.”

“Yeah, I smelled like a hospital, I needed to smell like me.”

Villie nodded then grabbed the bottle that was in the center of the table, “Did you know you can get alcohol delivered off of Dash?”

You snorted. Leave it to her to try. You took a seat on the floor beside her ready to dig in but her phone resting on the table caught your eye. It was the picture of the man who’d showed up at the hospital, the one you’d rear-ended.

“You found him on socials already?”

Villie glanced at her phone then scoffed. “It wasn’t hard. Take a guess who he’s connected to.”

You thought about it for a second but the smells wafting from the containers took your attention. You went through pulling off the tops of the food containers and moaning as each new smell filled the room.

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now.”

Without another word, you dug into the food filling your plate with a lot of everything. Once you were satisfied with the bites you had taken you glanced back at Villie who was wide-eyed.

“What?”

“Glad to see your appetite has come back.”

You nodded and continued stuffing your face. Over the last few days, though you hadn’t vomited, you felt small bouts of nausea that came and went and the look of most of the hospital food left you not wanting to eat much. You’d worried it was going to be a permanent thing, but those worries were put to rest now.

“So, guess who he’s connected to,” Villie broached again.

“I don’t know,” you said mouth full of food.

Villie grabbed her phone and slid across her screen then held it up to you. When you looked, Lewis Hamilton’s face filled her screen. You gasped forgetting your mouthful of food then immediately began choking from the few particles that went down the wrong pipe.

“Oh my god!”

Villie leaped to her knees, patted your back with one hand, and poured some of the dark liquid from the bottle into a glass before she handed it to you. As you brought it to your nose your stomach turned from the strong scent of alcohol. You put the glass back on the table and shook your head. Villie kissed her teeth and then hurried to the kitchen before she came back with a bottle of water. You took several gulps in between coughs trying your best to dislodge the food that was stuck in your windpipe.

After a few attempts, you took a deep breath and hung your head back.

“Are you all right?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes from the tears that had slipped out.

“Jesus. I know the man is fine, fine but get a grip,” Villie teased.

You scoffed then pressed your palms to your face.

“Wait. Eh-em, you’re telling me the man I ran into is connected to him?”

“Yep. His name is Miles Chamley-Watson. He is the BFF to Lewis Hamilton, like for real BFF shit. They go everywhere together.”

Your eyes were bugged as you pieced it together. How small was this fucking world? How was this even real? The more you thought about it you began to wonder if he was in Mauritius with him. If so, did he know who you were?

“Oh my god.”

“Right! Like we kind of hit it off. I’m not gonna say there was flirting but there was flirting.”

“So you’re interested in him?”

Villie smiled as she drank down the glass of rum she’d poured for you. “I might be. What do you think? Do you think I shouldn’t be?”

How were you supposed to answer that? If she pursued things and they ended up becoming a thing didn’t that mean eventually one way or another you and Lewis would interact with one another? If you did wouldn’t he find out about the babies? If he found out--. The thought paused as a bigger item zipped itself up the agenda. Would he even remember you? He was after all Lewis Hamilton. You were sure there was no shortage of women he spent his time with. Why would he remember you from one night and 5 hours?

“Y/N?”

“Uh—um, well--.”

You saw the hope in her eyes and knew you couldn’t minipulate this because of your situation. Sighing you took her hand. “Valenza, I saw something between y’all. I say go with it and enjoy yourself. Who knows this could be it.”

Villie screeched then began laughing like an erratic high schooler who’d just learned their crush liked them back. Smiling you went back to eating. As Villie talked about Miles for a few more minutes your mind was lost in its own world. This shit was getting even more complicated.

~~~~~~~

4 Weeks Later

Your eyes never left the front door of 4057 Lake Drive Blvd. You’d been sitting in your car for the last 3 hours obsessively staring at the door with one hand on your steering wheel while the other rested on the door handle. You’d had every intention of getting out of your car and going inside 2 hours ago. However, that didn’t work out. Every time you tried to force your feet to move they didn’t. Instead, you sat outside the women’s health center as the time clicked closer and closer to your appointment until that same time clicked further and further away from your appointment time.

Now you were a whole 2 hours past your appointment time with no progress on getting out of the car. As you sat here you went over every single option over and over and over. You interjected every variable, every single con to every single choice. However, with every con, you found yourself seeing just as many pros. Now it was impossible to tell what the right decision was.

Never in your life had you thought you’d consider termination let alone a 2nd trimester one, but you were finding out that in most decisions no one knows what they would do until they are in it. You didn’t think you’d have unprotected sex with a stranger in your life but when the moment came you were one hundred percent DTF (down to fuck).

You closed your eyes for probably the hundredth time and took several deep, slow breaths. On the fifth one, you held it and allowed your heartbeat to steadily slow until it beat low and evenly. It was a trick you’d done most of your life to calm yourself and think clearly. When everything fell away, including the sounds of traffic, the sounds of the city you loved, and even the drum of your engine, you were left with your heartbeat and the rustling of the palm leaves. It was then that you felt the butterfly fluttering sensations again.

When you’d first felt them a week ago you hadn’t known what they were, and it took a few days to recognize what they were. Every Google search confirmed it—fetal movements. That was when it all became real and right now sitting in front of the health center where a doctor was waiting to perform your termination that you were now 2 hours late for because you were panicking and waiting for a sign to show you the right path to take, did it really become real.

Your hands left their current positions, the steering wheel and the door handle, and drifted to your belly which was now ever so slightly poked out. As if the minuscule beings inside of you knew your hands were there the fluttering intensified, crippling you with emotion. You dropped your head onto the steering wheel and allowed yourself to cry for the first time.

What could have been mistaken for sad tears weren’t. They were tears of resolution, tears of understanding, tears of acceptance—of fear. This was your sign, your answer, your path, and you were scared shitless. So your tears flowed down your cheeks and dripped all over you soaking your top. Even then you didn’t stop, you let it all out even turning up the music to drown out the sounds of your sobs.

From this moment forward, your life would never be the same and from this moment forward, you would face whatever came your way on this path with one thought in mind—what was best for your babies. When your tears finally subsided you wrapped your arms around your midsection, hugging yourself and the lives within you, and took a deep breath.

“Okay. I didn’t expect you and I surely didn’t plan you, but I won’t get rid of you. I hope you don’t regret choosing me because you’re stuck with me, and I promise I will do everything to protect you from today onward. Be gentle and patient with me and we’ll learn together.”

As if your words were heard, the flutters returned making you smile. pressing your head back on the headrest you sighed and tried to formulate a plan. That was when your phone rang sending audio caller ID off.

Villie calling. Villie calling. Villie calling.

You scoffed. Even the universe knew the plan was to tell Villie because she was good at coming up with a plan that ensured you were the primary benefiter. Truthfully, you should have told her weeks ago but since your release from the hospital she’d been spending a lot of time with Miles. Though he lived in the UK, they were always on Facetime dates, they’d now met up in London 3 times and you were sure she knew what Miles Jr looked like.

You hadn’t wanted to make things weird between them or add any stress given the truths of your situation. You really had wanted to keep things separate. Now with you deciding to keep the babies and raise them, there was no way you could keep everything from her anymore. She was your best friend after all. Tapping the answer button, you buckled yourself in.

“Hey V.”

“Hey. Where are you?”

“Umm--,” you stretched as you pulled out of the parking lot of the medical center and onto Berman Street.

“Getting on the highway, what’s up?”

“I feel like shopping. Are you down?”

“Yeah, tell me where to meet you.”

The drive through South Beach was unlike any drive you’d done before. Over the last few weeks, you’d been tense and stressed out to the max. It was evident in the way you gripped the steering wheel and sat in your seat. Now you felt differently. You were more relaxed, and more centered but also more cautious. You found yourself stopping and allowing more women and children cross even if they didn’t have the right of way, found yourself driving slightly below the speed limit and following every single traffic law that was in the driver’s manual that you’d neglected mere weeks before.

By the time you parked and fed your meter, you were 10 minutes late and intensely craving a massive green smoothie. After getting not one but two, you found Villie already well into her shopping in one of the lingerie stores.

“What took you so long?”

“Traffic and I needed a smoothie. So for you, shopping starts with lingerie.”

“Of course.”

You chuckled then began going through the racks. There were tons of cute stuff, but you knew soon you wouldn’t fit any of it and you had no one to wear any of this for. With that thought you looked at Villie.

“Valenza Tamina Chord, are you stocking up for a particular event?”

She smiled widely then walked off.

“No, no. Don’t try to slip away. What’s going on?”

“Miles is coming to town in a few weeks for a week and--.”

“You plan on getting your back broke, throat bruised, and internal organs rearranged. Okay!”

Villie giggled as she took down a navy blue strappy number that would look great on her and examined it.

“Okay I don’t know about throat bruised but the rest of it yep.”

You snorted and shook your head. “First of all, get that, it’ll look phenomenal on you. Second, let’s see if you have a voice when he comes.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, he is so cool, such a good guy.”

“He seems like it. I’m glad you’re having fun you deserve it.”

Villie’s eyes landed on you and for a few moments she studied you. “I’m not the only one who deserves it, you do too.”

You nodded and walked away to another rack and idly went through the hangers.

“I mean it. You’ve been single for long enough don’t you think?”

“I have a lot going on Villie. I don’t need another thing to worry about.”

“I understand what you mean but sometimes if it’s the right thing it doesn’t become a worry but something to bring you happiness, and peace.”

You sighed the words at the tip of your tongue but with no way to come out. This wasn’t something you could blurt out and be done with. You knew Villie, she would want to dissect everything on top of wanting a play-by-play of your dick down. This conversation couldn’t be had in the middle of a lingerie store.

“When do we meet the creative director of the station?”

“Boo! Always changing the subject. Fine, whatever. Next week is the meeting. Their name is Sadie Walters and she sent over some ideas for her vision along with some papers to understand your vision. So you got some homework.”

“Okay. I’m excited to get this off the ground and get back to traveling.”

“Workaholic. One day you will regret working so much and pushing your personal life to the side.”

You turned your back and quietly scoffed. If she only knew how little time you would have for a personal life in the next few years she’d take that back. For the next several hours you dipped in and out of almost every store adding bags and bags of clothes, shoes, makeup, and body products until you both were exhausted. After you had dinner at a nearby steakhouse where again you ate nearly everything in sight. When you both split at the end of the night you attempted to get the words out but still you couldn’t. You weren’t quite ready, and you worried you would be really showing before you were ever ready.

~~~~~~

-2 Weeks Later-

Pop!

The champagne bottle top flew across the room colliding into the wall, making everyone cheer and clap. After so many weeks of work with finishing up your catalog, the vacation wear line, and getting the behind-the-scenes stuff of your travel show down everything was signed, sealed, and done. Tomorrow was the release of your catalog and vacation wear line, and you were absolutely freaking out.

“Oh my god. Thank you everyone!”

You went around your office and hugged each and every one of the people who helped you get here. You wrapped your arms around Zavier and squeezed.

“Thank you Z, you made this catalog incredible. I cannot thank you enough!”

“Congratulations. You’re more than welcome.”

Next, you moved on to Sabrina and Chloe, the interns who’d been hired to maintain some of the back-end things. “Thank you beautiful souls.”

“You’re welcome!”

When you moved to Villie she rocked you side to side. That was when the waterworks started.

“Oh Villie, thank you, thank you!”

“Shut up. I don’t need thank yous. I am so happy for you. It’ll be no time now before you are bigger than Anthony Zimmerman.”

“Girl, we are not alike. He travels to eat everything; I travel to party.”

Everyone laughed at that. When Villie handed you a glass of champagne you froze.

“We have to drink to you and all that you’ve accomplished and to this amazing team of ours,” Villie said holding her glass up.

Everyone followed her and tapped their glasses together. You brought the glass to your lips, but you didn’t take a sip as they all did.

“Thank you guys so much for all your hard work and dedication to these projects. It means the world to me.”

You hoped they understood how much they meant to you though you couldn’t fully express it because if you did, you knew you would cry uncontrollably which would be weird. You were having a hard time keeping your emotions under control over the last two weeks as your pregnancy progressed. You saw a dandelion blow away from a hard gust of wind earlier and that made you cry for the poor dandelion that would never be seen again. With that, you knew your emotional state was highly unbalanced.

When the bottle of champagne disappeared, everyone started to file out to get on with their own days leaving you and Villie. You scrolled through the virtual catalog in complete awe. You couldn’t believe that after so many months it was over and would be out for the world to see. The pride you felt was indescribable. You’d accomplished this without using anyone's clout, or influence to elevate it. You didn’t have any major help, most of it was compiled by you using your skills and talents. It wasn’t until near the end had you brought on more expertise. This was your baby.

“I can’t believe this is done, V.”

She doesn’t reply. When you felt her approach, she pulled up a chair beside you then sighed. “I can’t believe you haven’t told me what’s been going on with you since you were released from the hospital.”

You paused and fought the rapid beating of your heart because you knew she would hear it in the quiet office. “Uh--.”

“I’ll give you a few moments to come up with what you are going to say to come clean with me but the words out of your mouth better be the truth. I’ve let you go for all this time but right now I’m getting offended and hurt that you don’t feel like you can talk to me.”

You spun to her and grabbed her hands. “No, no. Villie, that’s not it I swear!”

“No? Then what else could it be, Y/N?”

You sighed then found your words. Gripping her hands tighter you looked at her. “Okay look. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how and honestly I didn’t know until a few weeks ago and since then I have been a mess trying to wrap my head around it and future my shit out. It’s a lot happening.”

“Are you sick? Please don’t tell me you have cancer.”

“What? No! I don’t. I’m not sick.”

Villie let out a relieved huff of breath then took a steadying one. “Then what? What is going on?”

“I’m—I’m—pregnant.”

Villie just stared at you with a blank expression. She didn’t move, she didn’t even look as if she were breathing. Leaning forward you studied her closer trying to gauge just what she was thinking. Biting your bottom lip you prepared yourself to repeat the words but just as you opened your mouth to, Villie sprang to her feet.

“What! P—pr—pregnant?”

She walked to the far side of the office. “I know you fucking lying.”

“Uh--.”

“No. It’s a lie. There is no way. How did you get pregnant? When?”

You understood her reaction. You hadn’t told her about your night with Lewis because you didn’t want to be one of those girls who bragged about spending the night with a celebrity and you honestly were kind of embarrassed by everything that happened that night. You’d turned into a completely different person and when the sun rose, and you’d found your limbs entangled with his and your very naked bodies still connected under the massive palm tree that was tucked out of sight you’d felt stupid and easy so you ran as fast as you could without looking back. As far as she knew you’d been in a sex drought for 2 years.

“Y/N!”

“Calm down. I should be the one freaking out. I’m the pregnant one.”

Villie’s eyes widened.

“I’m not lying. I am pregnant. I found out at the hospital after the accident and that’s what’s been going on for the last few weeks. I was trying to wrap my head around it all and figure out what I wanted to do about it. Because of everything that I have going on I didn’t think I could continue this, so it’s been a stressful few weeks,” you rushed out.

Ville was still standing across the room and now looking at you like you had two heads. “You’re not fucking with me?”

“I’m not fucking with you. I promise.”

Instantly Villie crossed the room to you taking you into her arms and hugging the life out of you. “Oh, honey.”

With your best friend comforting you, your tears began flowing. When she heard your sniffles she pulled back and pouted.  “You’re really pregnant?”

Nodding, you sniffled some more. Villie’s tear-filled eyes overflowed and the two of you hugged again and ugly cried together. Relief filled you as you relished the comfort of the one person who's had your back for over a decade. You weren’t alone with this anymore. You knew without a doubt that Villie would have your back the entire way.

When the two of you sat back down, you both wiped your tears and snot and laughed at each other for being so emotional about it.

“Oh my god, Y/N.”

“I know.”

“Oh my god,” Villie repeated.

“I know, I know. It’s huge.”

“Huge? This is—colossal. You’re pregnant.”

You nodded, “I am.”

“You’re pregnant with a baby, like a real baby.”

“Ha, try two babies. Two real babies.”

Villie shot to her feet again.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Girl I nearly passed out when I found out.”

Villie screeched then and practically tackled you with another hug. “Twins! Aah, Y/N, how precious is that?!”

You snorted. Of course she would be the one to die over the cuteness of it all. Villie dropped back into the seat, then reached for your belly. When she realized it was not flat her eyes became the size of the moon.

“Holy fucking shit, Y/N. This feels so real.”

“Oh it’s real. It’s so real I have had to sideline 3 of my favorite pairs of jeans already and I’m not even halfway there yet.”

“So you’re keeping them, right? You better be keeping them.”

“I’m keeping them. I couldn’t do the procedure. It didn’t feel right in my heart.”

Villie nodded. “I get that. It’s different to hold my hand through mine than be the one in the stirrups getting your own. It’s a decision every woman has to make for herself.”

A few moments of silence stretched as both of you thought back to when Villie ended up pregnant barely one year into law school. Her then asshole boyfriend freaked and went as far as to transfer schools just to get away from the whole thing. After hours of tears, weeks of lamenting, and one in-depth heart to heart she decided it was best to terminate. So, you held her hand through the whole thing and per her request, the two of you never spoke of it again.

Squeezing her hand for comfort, you continued, “It was simply too late for me to have a clear conscious about it. Then I got a sign showing me what to do and—yeah, here we are.”

Villie squeezed your hand again. “Well, I am happy for you honey. You are going to be an amazing mom.”

You groaned. “Mom. V, this is insane. The show, the catalog, the line, all the traveling I’m going to be doing, the chaos of filming. I can’t do this, right?”

“Of course you can do this. You’re not going to be alone doing it either. I will be here. I will be with you for every single thing, ultrasounds, Lamaze, nursery planning, hospital bag packing, birth, and every day after. You’re not alone and you can do this,” she assured in her attorney voice.

Slowly you nodded as her words sank in filling you with confidence. Suddenly Villie gasped.

“Hold up. When did this happen? Who!?”

You let her hand go, stood, and grabbed your stuff.

“Let’s go to my place.”

Villie looked cautiously at you. “Oh god, is it Zavier?”

“What! Hell no.”

“What do you mean hell no? Zavier is fine as hell. You have seen his abs right and his tight ass?”

“Oh my god V, stop sexualizing Z.”

“I’m not. I’m just asking if you have seen his abs and his ass.”

“Yes, I have seen them and yes they are great.”

“Not to mention he is crushing so hard on you, has been for like a year now.”

“Shut up, he hasn’t.”

Villie rolled her eyes as she walked out the door first. “Oblivious fool. Can’t stand you bitches who don’t notice when you have men wrapped around your finger. until it's too late”

You snorted, “Who you calling a fool?”

The bickering continued as you made your way to your cars. When you separated to drive there separately, you made a quick stop at the Cuban spot near your house and once again picked up enough food for an army. When you got home Villie was already waiting for you. She helped you line out the food on the coffee table and get drinks ready, then you dug in. Halfway through eating Villie turned to you to press further.

“I know you’ve been stalling. Spill it already. Is he some struggling cartel clown who thinks he's next in line but is still the errand boy?”

“God no.”

“One of these struggling Miami rappers who swear they got bars but really don't understand the meaning of the word?”

You chuckled. “No.”

“Oh, a struggling underwear model who--.”

“Why do they all have to be struggling?”

“Because you’re stalling which means you’re either embarrassed of him or you regret letting him hit and most likely it’s because you’re ashamed of who he is.”

“I’m not—embarrassed or ashamed of him per se.”

“Okay if not who, then tell me when. When did this happen?”

“Mauritius.”

Her eyes widened again.

“Holy shit, did you Stella Got Her Groove Back on some hot barely legal island bway and brought back your very own Mauritian souvenirs.”

You busted out laughing sending food out of your mouth and onto the floor beside you.

“Wait, wait, wait. Barely legal isn’t my thing and since when have I been out of commission long enough to Stella Got Her Groove Back on anyone?!”

“It’s been 2 years, Y/N. You’re honeytrap was growing cobwebs.”

You laughed loudly again loving the feeling. It had been too long since you’d laughed like this.

“First of all. Fuck you!”

Villie laughed along with you.

“No, it’s who fucked you?”

You hugged her and rocked from side to side.

“Oh I love you Villie.”

“Love you too honey. That doesn’t mean I am letting this go. Tell me already.”

“Fine. Lewis Hamilton.”

Villie gave you a “yeah right” look then busted out laughing. She laughed so long that it gave you more time to keep eating. Slowly she realized you weren’t laughing with her and slowly she stopped.

“I didn’t mean lie to my face.”

“Who’s lying?”

Villie stared at you for a few moments then you watched every cell in her body light up until her face was bright and her eyes wide. That’s when it happened. She screamed. You nodded your head because it was either this reaction you’d expected or the complete disbelief. You’d gotten them both.

“No fucking way!”

“Oh yes fucking way.”

“You had sex with Lewis Hamilton in Mauritius? Oh ho ho, details. I need every single piece of information starting with who said the first word to whom, moving on to are his hands as big as they seem, then what he smells like, then can he kiss, then not skipping any minuscule detail like boxers or briefs, circumcised or not and finally how big and can he lay pipe.”

She screeched again, grabbed her bottle of beer, turned to you then cleared her throat. “Okay, begin.”

She was an absolute trip. You spent the few hours going over every detail of that night that you dared to with Villie. You even let her know how free you’d been with yourself and all the things you’d let him do to you, all the ways you’d let him have you and claim your body. With every piece of info, Villie looked like she was near an aneurysm. When you told her how you’d let him into your back door she lost her shit. She screamed so loud you were sure your neighbors would call the police thinking foul play was afoot.

By the time you finished, Villie was laid out on her back with a dazed look on her face staring at the ceiling as if she had been the one who’d gone through probably the best night of fucking ever recorded by man or woman. You gave her a few minutes to recover and let it all sink in and used the time to finish off the food.

“Oh my god, Y/N.”

Villie sat up panting, her hair a mess.

“Are you good?”

“Am I? Are you? All of that went down?”

“All of that went down. I got back to my hotel room and didn’t recognize myself in the mirror.”

“You a freak, freak, freak!”

Both of you laughed some more.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I know. Mauritian rum is no fucking joke.”

“No. I can’t believe you left him there naked in the sand. Why!?”

“What? Why? You’re joking. I couldn’t stay.”

“Why?”

“Because it was over, it was one night and—I—I,” you sighed. “I was embarrassed. I felt like a fool.”

“You were embarrassed to have slept with Lewis Hamilton?”

“Partly. You’ve heard the rumors about him, heard the stories of him having a harem and contractual relationships that center around sex and extravagance, and here I went and fell for him.”

“Wait, fell for him, fell for him?”

You sighed and thought back to your conversation and the vibe between you.

“I don’t know. I’d had a lot to drink that night and was on a high after that folk dance with the island’s natives and there was something when our eyes met through the flames of the fire. There was something that made me fall enough to let all that go down.”

“Do you like him?”

“I don’t know him. I don’t know I felt like I became this whole other person that I have never been before but it didn’t feel like a mask or me pretending and it makes me wonder why did it come out with him and not anyone else?”

Villie nodded. “So instead of finding out why by staying till he woke up, you ran away and brought back 2 souvenirs with his DNA that you now have to find a way to tell him about.”

“Tell him? Why would I tell him?”

Villie looked at you with incredulity. “You’re joking.” She stared at you longer then scoffed when she realized you weren’t. “No, Y/N, you have to tell him. Don’t you think he deserves to know he will have 2 children running around with his DNA?”

“---No.”

“Y/N--.”

“Okay wait. I can see how you would say yes and well—maybe—yes. Fuck. How do I tell him this Villie? Do I just DM him on Insta and be like hey remember me? He probably won’t if the stories are true he’s had nights like this plenty of times. What do I say?”

“Who cares about the stories, the rumors, and any of that other noise. Right now you are pregnant and you’ve decided to keep the babies—his babies. You have to tell him and let him figure out if he remembers you, and decide what he plans on doing. Whatever he decides won’t affect you. If he decides to man up great then you figure it out. If he decides to deny, deny, deny then fine, move on.”

You heard her words. They made plenty of sense, but you were still apprehensive. You didn’t want to be perceived as that girl. The one who showed up with a pregnancy from one night or a situationship where terms were clear.

“This is messy, Villie.”

“It is but what isn't messy these days? Oh my god, Miles.”

You looked at her as she finally thought about her connection to all of this.

“He’s his bestie right, and now your boo thang.”

Villie smiled at those words then scoffed. “The world is so fucking small.”

“Tell me about it,” you replied.

The two of you sat quietly for a few moments both in your own heads about your situation.

“Well, you have an in to talk to him when you’re ready to tell him about the pregnancy.”

“What in? Miles?”

“Yeah. We’ll tell him and ask if he can get you a face-to-face.”

“Face to face? Villie.”

“Is this the kind of news you really want to send over socials, text messages, or word of mouth?”

You hated when she was right.

“Also from a legal standpoint, if you kept this from him now and he somehow found out years down the line, he could file a lawsuit against you and seek damages.”

“From little ol' me?”

“If he was feeling really butt hurt, that’s the minimum of what he could do legally,” Villie confirmed.

You sighed then dropped back onto the floor. Your hands instantly went to your stomach and you felt your slight bump. This shit was messy and had the potential to get even messier. Villie was right though, you did have to tell him, it was the right thing to do.

Looking at it from a different angle, it was better to say "Hi remember me, oops I’m pregnant" than not and wonder what if.

You closed your eyes and groaned. Your life had turned upside down in the span of a few months and once again it was all because of the things you’d done in the dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[hbyrde36]

Times Like These (The Anniversary Edition)

CH 1 CH 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11 Ch 12

Chapter 13: Epilogue

WC: 5937 | AO3 link | Explicit

A soft knock on hollow wood roused Eddie from sleep. It felt strange to wake up normally, not crying out or gasping for air—actually, waking up at all felt a little foreign after weeks of hardly sleeping at all. 

“Ed?” Uncle Wayne’s voice carried through the door.

Eddie glanced over his shoulder. Steve hadn’t moved, was hopefully still fast asleep, so he gently extracted himself and pulled on the first shirt within reach. He tiptoed to the door, only opening it enough to look out, and used his body to hide the view of his bed. Wayne was safe, but he and Steve hadn’t even really labeled what they were to each other yet, let alone discussed if they were okay with other people knowing. 

Wayne looked down at Eddie's chest, frowning, “‘M sorry to wake you when you’re finally gettin’ some sleep, but the kids‘re here.”

“Like, Max?”

“Like, all of ‘em.”

Oh, what the fuck. 

Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face… and then nearly jumped out of his skin when Steve’s voice, mid-yawn and raspy with sleep, came from the bed behind him. 

“Ugh, what are they even doing here, do you have Hellfire today or something?” 

Wayne lifted a single eyebrow. “Who’s your friend?”

“Uh—”

There was a rustle of fabric as Steve moved around behind him, getting dressed. Well, putting a shirt on anyway—Eddie’s shirt.

Oh.

Eddie looked down and, yup, that was Steve’s polo shirt he had on. 

God he was such a dumbass sometimes.

Wayne craned his neck, trying to see over Eddie’s shoulder—and clearly Steve didn't care if the other man saw him or he wouldn’t have spoken up, so Eddie stepped back, letting the door open the rest of the way as Steve slid up beside him. It seemed this meeting was happening right here, right now, whether he liked it or not, so he might as well accept it.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m Steve, Steve Harrington.” Steve smiled, sticking his hand out for Wayne to shake, which the older man took—as if they weren’t all standing in Eddie’s bedroom doorway at who knew what time in the morning, in their fucking underwear!

But it was fine. 

“Good to meet you too, son. I hear you’re one of the people I have to thank for findin’ my boy and gettin’ him to help. Didn’t see you ‘round the hospital, else I would’ve shown you my gratitude sooner.” 

Steve's smile faltered—and fell. “No. I, uh—I wasn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I should have been. I–” 

Eddie took his hand, squeezing, and leaned in to press their sides together. 

Wayne shook his head. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, and anyways it looks like whatever it was has worked itself out now. S’long as you boys are bein’ safe, that’s good enough for me.”

“Wayne!” Eddie hissed.

“Go see to your audience. They’re mighty interested in that fancy car out there, which I'm assumin’ belongs to Steve, so….” Wayne glanced between the two of them, chuckling. “Have fun with that.”

For the second time in as many minutes Eddie felt like an idiot. Steve’s car was parked right outside the trailer, hiding him had never been an option. Again, he reminded himself that Steve didn’t seem to mind, had known his car would be out there for all to see in the morning when he decided to stay last night.  

“Try and keep it down though, will ya? I’m gonna go catch some sleep before my shift tonight.”

Wayne shuffled away down the hall and back out to the living room where he’d spend the day sleeping on an old rollaway bed. Eddie felt a pang of guilt, like he always did when he thought about all the things Wayne had sacrificed to raise him, up to and including giving him the trailer’s only bedroom. He tried to give it up, on multiple occasions, but Wayne wouldn’t hear it. 

“I guess it’s time to face the music about disappearing, and—” Steve glanced down at their clasped hands.

Eddie looked down too, considering. This thing between them, whatever it was, felt so new, and fragile. It was one thing for Wayne to see them together, Eddie was already out to his uncle and accepted by him, and Steve had known that, but the kids? That was different—it was a lot. 

“We don’t have to tell anyone anything you're not ready for, Steve. We can always say you came over to hang out and it got late and you slept on the couch. They wouldn't think anything of it.”

“No. I don’t want to hide, not from our friends.” Steve chewed on his bottom lip. “Unless—you don’t want them to know?” 

“Sweetheart, I would tell the whole world how I felt about you if it was safe. Of course we can tell the party. I think we can trust them, and technically, all of them but Will and El saw us make out once already, not our fault they don’t remember.”

Steve grinned, and pulled Eddie in for a kiss. It was little more than a peck on the lips, a light little thing in comparison to all they’d done the night before, but it still took Eddie’s breath away.

They pulled apart reluctantly, and set about finding and putting pants on. Eddie wondered if he should offer to switch their shirts back, but he was sort-of loving seeing Steve in his clothes, and as much as the polo was something he’d usually not be caught dead in, it was much softer than it looked, and came with the added perk of smelling like Steve.

“So, um, what is it we’re telling them… exactly?” Eddie asked as he slipped his shoes on. Maybe It was silly to feel so nervous about asking the dreaded ‘what are we’ question after they’d already said I love you, but he couldn’t help it. It was all feeling a little too good to be true.

Steve strode right over, taking Eddie’s face between his hands. “Boyfriends?”

Eddie nodded, sagging in relief as he raised his hands to cover Steve’s where they cradled him. 

Steve leaned in the press their lips together one more time, whispering, “even if that word is too… small for what this feels like.”

For a moment Eddie could do nothing but stare in awe at the boy in front of him. He wasn’t used to things working out. He’d never expected to fall this hard for someone, and he’d certainly never dreamed that someone would love him with the same ferocity, but there it was being reflected back to him through Steve’s eyes. 

“You’re something else, Harrington. You know that?”

-

Just as Wayne had said, the entire group of kids, minus Erica, were clustered around Steve’s car almost like they were guarding it, or making sure Steve couldn’t take off and drive away without going through them first.  

As soon as they set foot outside, Dustin threw himself at Steve, wrapping arms tightly around his middle before suddenly pulling back to punch him in the chest.

Steve rubbed at the spot. “Hey!”

“You ignored me… for weeks! I was worried about you!” Dustin yelled, hitting him again.

“I know!” Steve shouted back, then sighed, deflating. “I know, and I’m sorry. I was going through some stuff, and I got really in my head about it, but I shouldn't have pushed everyone away. That—that wasn’t cool.” 

“What happened? And why did Eddie get to see you before I did?”

Eddie stepped in then, he couldn’t let Steve take all the flack when they were at least equally to blame for this whole mess. “Don’t be too hard on him, Henderson. It was my fault. I–” 

“No,” Steve cut him off, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. “Eddie and I had a… misunderstanding, but–uh, we worked it out” 

Dustin’s eyes widened, tracking the movement, head tilting as he seemed to really look at them for the first time. “Steve, what are you weari—what the hell is happening right now?”

Eddie didn’t know what he expected, but It wasn’t quite the reaction he’d hoped for. “Look, if this is going to be a problem for you guys, at least—”

“No! God, no." Dustin shook his head, holding his hands up in front of him, placating. "I’m sorry. It’s not—it’s fine!. It’s… pretty awesome, actually.”

Lucas cleared his throat. “We’re just surprised, is all."

“Yeah! Because of Steve’s reputation and everything.” Dustin clarified. 

Max snorted. “I’m not.”

Mike, Lucas, And Dustin gaped at her, while El and Will quietly watched from the sidelines. 

“What do you mean you're not surprised?!” Lucas snapped.

She rolled her eyes. “Are you morons blind?”

Mike crossed his arms, face pinched as he rounded on Steve. “So what, you just decided to suddenly be gay now? Or were you gay this whole time and just messing with my sister before?”

Eddie had never wanted to snatch that little prick up by the back of his neck more. 

“Keep your voice down, Wheeler! Before you out us to the whole damn trailer park!” Eddie hissed quietly, realizing far too late that the front of his trailer probably wasn’t the best place for this conversation, but they were in it now. 

In his defense he hadn’t expected any outbursts. Surprise? Maybe… probably, but no outright hostility—though young Wheeler only seemed to be pissed at Steve rather than both of them, so maybe it was more of a personal thing than a gay thing?

“Sorry.” Mike grumbled. 

“And no, we’re not ‘suddenly gay’ now, and it’s not something you choose or decide, shithead. It’s more like something you discover about yourself, when you’re ready. Some people figure it out at a young age, like me.” Eddie tried very hard not to let his gaze flit towards Will, who in their limited interactions had started giving off a vibe. Instead he looked at Steve, and smiled warmly. “But, for others it takes a little time.”

“Like me.” Steve said, smiling back at him with a soft look in his eyes. A look that completely dissolved as he turned to Mike, “And I’m bisexual, Michael. So, no, I wasn’t messing with your sister. Liking Eddie now doesn’t mean I didn't like her then. I like boys and girls.”

“Wait, that’s… Is that allowed?”

Oh. 

Suddenly the boy’s anger at Steve might make little more sense. 

Steve softened. “Yeah, Mike. That’s allowed.”

After a moment of silence Mike bristled, realizing everyone was looking at him now. “Whatever. I’m going back to Max’s.” He kicked rocks, literally, and ran across the way to the Mayfield trailer, sitting down on its steps, sulking.

“Hey Steve, so now that you're talking and leaving the house again, can we have a sleepover?” Dustin asked. 

Steve gave him an unimpressed look.“ Shouldn’t you guys be going after him or something?”

Lucas waved a hand. “He’ll get over it.”

Dustin tipped his chin in agreement. “You know how he gets, he’s fine. Now, what do you say?”

“I don’t know guys.” Steve said. 

“Pleeeeeease?”

Steve slid his eyes sideways, looking to Eddie for an opinion. 

Eddie shrugged. As much as he wanted more alone time with Steve—like, a lot more—he knew he wasn’t the only one who’d been missing him.  

“Fine. But you all need to get your own rides, and give me a few hours to get ready. Seven o’clock at the earliest, you hear me? And make sure your parents know where you’re gonna be.”

The kids all lit up, even Max cracked a smile.

“Yes!” Lucas cheered, before turning with Max to go back to her house. 

“Thanks, Steve!” Dustin shouted over his shoulder, him and Will joining the retreat, only El lagged behind. 

“Everything alright, El?” Steve asked. 

“I am really glad you’re feeling better. I wanted to come see you right away but–”

Steve drew in a breath, a horrified look of realization coming over his face. "Oh my god, El, you remember too! I'm such an idiot, I didn't even think!"

Eddie squeezed the hand he was still holding and felt his own heart drop. With everything else it hadn’t occurred to him either.

"It's okay. Robin told me you were sad, too sad to see anyone.” El said. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetie, I should have realized—I should have checked on you. Are you okay?”

“I think so. I told my Dad everything. I felt bad… guilty at first. I thought it was all my fault because I was the one who failed to stop Henry so many times. He says it's not, and I am trying to believe him."

"He's right," Eddie said. "None of this was anyone’s fault but Vecna’s. Trust me, I felt the exact same way throughout the loops. I thought, here I was, given chance after chance and I just kept screwing it up. It wasn’t my fault, or yours, or Steve’s. We did the best we could, and yeah, it took a few tries to get it right, but we did. We did it together. El, you were absolutely incredible in there, facing him down on your own. I never would have gotten out if it wasn’t for you. You saved me."

“I think we all saved each other, but I am sorry that I did not remember, that must have been scary by yourself.”

"No. No more apologies. That’s not on you or Steve, and I won't have either of you feeling guilty about it for another second.” Eddie said, his gaze flitting between their faces. “Okay?”

El nodded, offering him a small smile. 

Steve sighed. “Okay.”

-

A short while later they were walking into Steve’s house. Eddie had snuck back inside to leave a note for his uncle about where he’d be before they took off in the other boy’s BMW.

“Sorry about the mess,” Steve said as they crossed the threshold into the living room, rubbing a hand nervously at the back of his neck. “I, uh, I didn’t realize how bad it’d gotten.”

Eddie looked around. The air was stale, beer cans strewn around the coffee table, a few left where they’d fallen on the floor, along with several pizza boxes, some dirty clothes, and the couch was piled up with a pillow and blankets in a heap. It was very not like Steve, but it also wasn’t that bad. “You call this a mess? That’s adorable. You’ve seen my place man, c’mon. This is nothing. We can have this picked up in ten minutes—tops.”

“No, this is my problem, and your arm–”

“Is fine.” Eddie insisted. “Why don't you go get us a couple trash bags.”

They worked together, and just as predicted it didn’t take long at all. He gathered up the laundry, tossing it all into the washing machine, while Steve took care of the trash and wiped down the tables, the two of them meeting in the middle to straighten couch cushions and fold blankets. 

“Were you sleeping down here?” Eddie asked.

“Tried to. I was struggling, and angry, and I missed you. Thinking about sleeping in that bed alone after all those memories came back just—” Steve shook his head. “Not that down here was any better. I know it was only a short time that you were here with me, really, but it’s like you seeped into the walls.”

When Steve finished with the blanket he was working on, he hugged it to his chest and sat down. “It was one of my happy memories, one of the places I went when I was running from Vecna. Here, on this couch, with you.”

Eddie tilted his head, taking a seat beside him. 

“You’d just cooked for us. I was so tired, and you tried to make me go to bed, but I wouldn't listen.”

“And you fell asleep anyway.”

“And you let me sleep on your shoulder for the whole movie. That night—that was when I really started to fall for you, in that loop at least.”

Eddie rested a hand on Steve’s knee. “Me too.”

-

They moved on to the kitchen next, which was in pretty good shape apart from a sink full of dishes, something Eddie couldn’t really help with, so he hopped up onto the counter to supervise and keep Steve company. 

Well, he tried to hop up on the counter at least, a task that was made much more difficult with the use of only one hand. After his second failed attempt, Steve gripped him around the waist and lifted him up on his perch before wordlessly getting to work. 

Eddie swallowed hard, feeling his cheeks warm. He could get used to being manhandled like that, and judging by Steve’s little smirk, the other boy felt the same way.

It should have been boring sitting there watching as Steve scrubbed plates and glasses, but as corny as it sounded, Eddie was just happy to be around him. Steve kept looking at him too, to the detriment of his task, as he repeatedly sloshed water over himself when he got stuck staring for too long. 

The third time it happened Eddie had to laugh. “What? Is it my hair?” He shook his head making his curls bounce around wildly. “Have I been walking around with bedhead all day and you didn’t tell me?”

“No, it’s just— a part of me can’t believe you’re here? I know it was my own doing, but I was going crazy all alone in this big fucking house.”

Eddie rested a hand on his shoulder, just able to reach from his spot. 

“I should be used to it by now, the whole being alone thing. I’m sure you’ve noticed that my parents aren’t around much. It’s… not a new thing.”

“I did.” Eddie admitted. “I figured you’d talk about them when you were ready.”

Steve smiled sadly, returning his attention to the sink as he went on. “I was eight the first time they left me alone for the weekend. I was terrified, slept with all the lights on, thought every bump in the night was a robber breaking in. The older I got the longer they would stay away. They’d swoop in every now and then, just long enough to make sure I knew how disappointed they were that I wasn’t living up to their expectations. When my dad found out I wasn’t going to college they stopped coming home altogether.”

“What about graduation?”

“They stopped by, about a week after the ceremony, to yell at me for not having a job yet, even though I’d already told them I had the interview at Scoops. That’s the last time I spoke to them in person.”

“Wait, they didn’t come home when you got hurt at the mall? I know they would have thought it was just a fire but, didn’t the hospital call them?”

Steve tensed, and very deliberately did not look at him. 

Eddie sighed. “You didn’t go to the hospital, did you?”

“Didn’t need to.”

“Baby, you were drugged and tortured.”

“That’s actually part of why I didn’t go. Didn’t think I could handle facing another guy in a white coat.”

It was hard to argue with that, and of course it was in the past now, but that didn’t stop Eddie from wanting to. “So you were just here alone after all that?”

“No, um, Robin–” Steve broke off with a breathy laugh. “Ok, this is going to sound fucked up but that was another one of my happy memories, actually. Robin, she snuck out of her house and into mine that night. She didn’t need to sneak, of course, it’s not like anyone else was here, but she didn’t know that at the time. It was crazy, this girl who barely tolerated me before everything went down—suddenly, here she was, climbing through my bedroom window, insisting on taking care of me.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I could live without her now.”

“Pretty sure she feels the same way about you, sweetheart. So it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen your parents?”

“Yeah, they bought a place in Chicago when my dad was offered a new position in his company there. Said I could stay here until they sell the place, as long as I had a job and kept it clean.”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve gave half a shrug. “It’s—I don’t need or want them in my life anymore. If anything I'm grateful it’s allowed me to still be here for the kids through all this shit without having to deal with them.”

“Still, you deserved better.”

Steve shut the faucet off, drying his hands before wedging himself between Eddie's legs where they hung off the counter, throwing arms around his waist. “Thank you.”

Eddie yelped at the contact, the front of Steve’s shirt was cold, and wet, and it was seeping into Eddie’s clothes now too, but he only held Steve tighter, and didn’t let go. 

“I think we’re both going to need some dry clothes after this.” Eddie said. 

Steve nuzzled into his chest. “How about a shower first?”

-

This wasn’t exactly how he had pictured it when Steve suggested they take a shower together. Not that Eddie would have turned the opportunity down, under any circumstances, but the plastic bag tied and taped around his casted arm, while necessary, was decidedly unsexy.

He looked ridiculous.

However, Steve didn’t seem to agree, if the hungry looks he was throwing Eddie’s way as they undressed were any indication.

Though Eddie was more than capable of washing his own hair one handed, had been doing so since the hospital, Steve insisted on taking charge from the moment they stepped under the spray together, working shampoo into his scalp until it formed a lather, letting it run through the end of his curls as it rinsed out. 

Eddie was in heaven, the feel of Steve's fingers combing conditioner through his hair was unlike anything else, and the occasional tug when he got caught up on a knot had a warmth blossoming low in his belly, and something else growing between his legs. 

He tried to hold it in but a quiet moan slipped past his lips as Steve coaxed his head back, rinsing it again, and it was all Eddie could do not to palm himself.

Suddenly Steve’s broad chest was pressed up against his back, mouth hovering just behind his ear. “Don’t hold back on my account.”

Eddie shivered, trying to press his ass back to feel if Steve was as affected as he was, but the other boy was keeping his hips a polite distance away. 

Tease.

Next, Steve took up a bar of soap and a washcloth, and began to painstakingly wash him from head to toe, reaching around to get Eddie’s front and finally pressing his own hard length against the swell of his ass. 

Eddie moaned again, long and loud this time so Steve would know exactly what he was doing to him. 

It was as close to being worshiped as he could imagine, and he’d never felt so cared for and so fucking turned on in his life, convinced that if anything more than water touched his cock right now, he’d be painting the shower wall in seconds with his release.  

Thankfully Eddie got a short reprieve as Steve stepped back to turn the soap on himself, and he took several deep breaths, purposely not turning around to watch the show that was happening right behind him. He thought he knew where this was going, and he didn’t want their fun to be so short lived because he couldn’t get himself under control. 

But then Steve was done, and in the blink of an eye he spun Eddie around, pinned him against the wall, and dropped to his fucking knees, and Eddie knew he was screwed. He would never last, but the exquisite image before him certainly would—seared into his brain forever. 

He wasn’t too far gone to check in though, to make sure Steve wasn’t pushing past his comfort zone. “You don’t have to.”

Steve licked his lips, glancing up at him through his eyelashes. “I want to.”

Jesus Christ

“Are you sure?” Eddie reached down to cup Steve’s cheek, running a thumb over his bottom lip. Steve’s eyes fell shut, the tip of his tongue darting out to lick at it like a reflex.

“Fuck.” Eddie breathed.

“Please?” Steve begged, letting his mouth fall wide open. He knew exactly what he was doing and any lingering worries Eddie had completely fell away.

“Since you asked so nicely.”

Eddie caressed Steve’s face one last time before letting it go, taking himself in hand, and began to feed his cock inch by inch between Steve’s lips. 

-

Predictably, Eddie had come embarrassingly fast, but so had Steve once they switched places, and after a final rinse off they both collapsed, naked and partially damp onto Steve's bed.

“We can’t fall asleep. The kids–” Steve mumbled.

“They won’t be here for at least another hour. I won’t let us fall asleep, I promise. I just want to hold you for a while.” Eddie said, throwing an arm over Steve, pulling him in close.

“This was one of my happy memories. Laying in here with you.”

Steve turned in his arms to face him, running fingers through his sodden curls.

“The last night before we went after Vecna, when everyone fell asleep in the living room but you and I snuck up here.” Eddie tucked himself under Steve’s chin, hiding his face. “Did you…”

“Did I, what?”

“Did you kiss me that night? On the top of the head?”

Steve groaned like he was embarrassed. “I thought you were asleep!”

Eddie chuckled. “Almost. I was never sure it wasn’t just a dream.” His lips dragged against the skin of Steve's neck as he spoke, and he was just starting to suck a bruise into the side of his throat when the doorbell rang. 

Steve groaned.

“They’re early,” Eddie grumbled as they both untangled themselves and got up.

Steve went right for the dresser to pull clothes out for them, and Eddie couldn’t help but notice a certain t-shirt in the other boy’s hand. 

“Mine.”  He snatched it up greedily. “But I’m not putting it on yet, my hair is still too wet.”

“As long as you put pants on. I don’t think we need to scar them like that—although maybe it’ll make them think twice before showing up early next time.”

“That’s an idea.”

In the end, Eddie did slide a pair of sweatpants on, for his own modesty, and followed Steve down the stairs to answer the door, a towel slung over his shoulders to catch any drips.

Steve grasped the handle, raising his voice as he threw the front door open. “I thought I said seven o’clock you—” And clicked his mouth shut abruptly when he came face-to-face, not with Dustin, Max, or any of the others, but Robin and Chrissy standing on his doorstep.

Robin crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowed as she took them in. “Dustin called me.”

Steve grit his teeth. “Oh that little–

She shrugged. “Scoops troop for life.”

“Wait, did he tell you about us?” Eddie asked.

“No, just about the sleepover. I–” Robin glanced over her shoulder at Chrissy. “We—assumed the other thing when he said where and when they’d run into the two of you.”

Eddie scoffed. 

Run into them, as if the gremlins hadn’t been lying in wait, ready to pounce.

Chrissy nodded. “Oh, and fair warning I'm pretty sure the kids also told Nancy and Jonathan about your little shindig too.”

“Great.”

Eddie wound his arm around Steve’s lower back, rubbing his thumb back and forth along his side. “Hey, like I said this morning. No one has to know that you’re not ready to tell. I can keep my hands to myself while they’re around, and we can make sure the kids don’t—”

“And like I said,” Steve gently cut him off, leaning into him. “I don't want to hide, and maybe I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself.”

“Ugh,” Robin groaned. “You guys are gonna be gross about this aren’t you?”

“Don’t be homophobic, Buckley.”

“At least put a shirt on.” Robin rolled her eyes, shoulder checking him on her way by as she and Chrissy finally came inside.

“Fine.” Eddie whined, giving Steve’s side one last squeeze before he yanked the towel off and rubbed at his head. In a huff he headed for the bedroom, and Steve’s swim team shirt. At least time he could actually enjoy wearing the Harrington name like a brand across his back. 

“I’m really happy for you guys. It’s good to see you like this.”

He heard Robin say to Steve as he climbed the stairs, while the rest of them headed to the living room. 

“What, vertical?” Steve asked, a hint of laughter in his voice. 

“No, smiling.”

-

The sleepover turned out to be exactly what everyone needed. They had won the war, and now, finally, their little group was complete again. 

Nancy and Jonathan did eventually show, and stayed for quite a while, though they didn’t sleep over—they also seemed very unsurprised when he and Steve told them about their relationship.

Was it possible he and Steve were not as subtle as they thought?

Even Hopper and Joyce paid a visit on their way to dinner, taking advantage of their most trusted babysitters to have a night out for themselves. Steve was the one to share their news that time, again to less than surprised faces. 

Joyce got teary eyed, hugged them both, said how happy she was for them, and how it didn’t change anything. Eddie just hoped Will had been in earshot, so he’d know he had a mom who was ready to accept him whenever he was ready to accept himself. 

Hopper was pretty quiet about the whole thing, but made a point to hug Steve and shake Eddie’s hand before they left, which was a shock all on its own, and probably the closest thing Eddie was going to get to a stamp of approval. 

He’d take it. 

-

Later that night, or early the next morning depending on how you looked at it, considering it was nearing 2am by the time everyone else fell asleep and Steve and Eddie had snuck away, they were finally back in bed, as wrapped up in each other as they could be. 

“So, what do we do now?” Steve asked softly.

Eddie kissed the corner of his mouth, and reached down to knead his ass. “I didn’t think you’d want to fool around with everyone else right downstairs, but if you insist—”

“No,” Steve huffed a laugh, wriggling around till Eddie moved his hand. “I mean, you’re graduating soon, right? And I guess I’m wondering what your plan is, what’s next for you.”

“Stevie, I’m just starting to accept the fact that we’ve survived this insanity, I have no plans. I guess I’d like to get a job? Sort of over being the town drug dealer after all this, y’know?” Eddie reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Steve’s ear. “What about you, big boy? What do you want now that the Upside Down is gone for good?”

He couldn’t help recalling how Steve’s last answer to a very similar question had been to make it to 21, and hoped that had changed now.

“I don’t know. Robin will be heading off to college in the fall. I thought once about following her, but I was too worried about being that far away if something happened. I never thought we’d be in the clear like this.”

“Where’s she going?”

“Indianapolis.” Steve heaved a heavy sigh, as though the nearby city was on another planet.

“That’s only like an hour away!”

“But, what about the kids?”

“You know they’re not really kids, right? And they have parents.” Eddie propped himself up on his elbow to look the other boy more solidly in the eye. “Vecna is gone, for good this time. They’re safe. Besides, the little shits will be driving before you know it, and until then you can visit whenever you want.”

Steve looked down, fingers playing along the sheet. “You trying to talk me into moving away, Munson?” 

“If that’s what you want.”

“What about you—us?”

“I could always come with you… if you’d want that.”

Steve’s eyes snapped back to his. A little wider than they were before. “B-but what about Wayne?”

“I’m almost twenty years old, I think it’s time for Wayne to have his bedroom back, and me moving out is probably the only thing that’ll make him accept it.”

“Isn’t it a little soon for us to be talking about living together?”

“Maybe—probably,” Eddie grinned, letting out a long breath. “But, we’ve established that we’re both crazy, right? And we have time, it’s not like it would be happening tomorrow.”

“Seriously though, you would do that?”

Eddie reached for him, and they shuffled around until they were wrapped up closely together again. “In a heartbeat. As long as you want me around, I'll be here. So yeah, I’m all in.”

-

Six months later found them, and all the belongings they could fit in the back of Eddie’s van, flying down the highway towards their new place—a two bedroom apartment in Indianapolis they’d be sharing with Chrissy and Robin while the girls went to school. 

The two friends had finally managed to get their own shit together after that first post-Vecna sleepover. Bolstered by how open Eddie and Steve were and how accepting the group had been of them, the very next morning Chrissy finally worked up the courage to make a move—to Robin’s immense relief. 

Then Chrissy received an acceptance letter from the same school Robin was attending, and all the pieces just sort of fell into place. 

Steve sold the BMW. They wouldn’t need two cars in the city, and it was worth more used than Eddie’s van would have gotten brand new. Indy wasn’t like Hawkins, there’d be plenty of public transportation, and the money he made would be more than enough for the two of them to live on until they found jobs. 

“Are you sure this is okay? That we’re not moving too fast doing this?” Steve asked from the passenger seat, as they took the final exit that would lead them to their future. 

It wasn’t the first time Steve had said those same words over the last few weeks. He’d also asked the day they put their deposit down, the day they told Wayne they were leaving, and the night they started packing. Steve seemed to think Eddie was going to suddenly change his mind or something, as if he was less than absolutely head over heels in love.

“You say that like we haven't spent every waking moment together since we got together. How many times do I have to tell you I'm all in on this, on you, before you believe me?”

“Sorry.” Steve sunk down in his seat, cheeks going a little pink.

Eddie held his hand out over the center console, whining and wiggling his fingers until Steve finally cracked a smile and took it, lacing their fingers together.

“Do you think we’ll be happy here? That it’ll feel like home someday?” Steve asked.

“I think wherever we are will always feel like home, as long as we’re there together.”

Special thanks to @penny00dreadful for being the best beta, friend and cheerleader.

Reblogs are always appreciated! 💜💜💜

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[froggy-demon]

Oh, Deer | Part Three

A/N: I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY I was in a fever writing the first two chapters on my days off, then my doc flipped out and rearranged itself mid edit which was superrrrrr awesome. I believe I fixed it though! I appreciate the support I've been getting so I hope you enjoy this part as well <3 I have to say I'm very excited for what I'm planning for part 4 as well so that one won't take as long I think!

Part Summary: Lilly finds herself curious of what the Radio Demon actually does, but acting on that will come at a cost. Back at work she gets some personal time with the self appointed head of the Vs only to be treated to a home visit from the King of Hell that night.

Part One Part Two | Part Four

______________________________________________________________

Velvette seemed to have cooled off today, allowing me to return to my regularly scheduled assignments, which sure were back breaking, but at least they weren’t soul crushing. On my walk to the hotel from work I found myself thinking about Alastor again, which I’m sure his ego would love to hear. I wanted to figure out what he was really thinking, and he was always off doing his own tasks day and night at such odd times. Sure he’s an overlord, but he doesn’t actually have any territory at the moment besides the hotel I guess. Does entertainment count as a territory? I guess so, but I wouldn’t say he is controlling that yet either. 

So I hatched a little plan of my own. Whenever Alastor left the hotel this evening I would follow him on whatever misadventure he went on, discreetly of course. I’d need to be careful, but I’m struggling to bury my curiosity. At this point I needed answers and Alastor wasn’t exactly offering any up. 

I wanted up the grand steps of the hotel and opened the door, looking across the entry way for any sign of him. He wasn’t around, but Angel, Charlie, and Vaggie were lounging in that parlor so I joined them. Charlie’s eye lit up when she saw me and she rushed over to me, grabbing my shoulders. 

“Oh my gosh there you are! Okay so today and yesterday we focused on learning about boundaries, it was a lesson I had needed as well.” She admitted, giving Angel an apologetic look. “Soooo to catch you up, please, share a boundary with us that is important we that we all respect and we will! Then we can share one of ours and tell each other how that all makes us feel, how does that sound?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Amazing, I know!” She squealed and sat back down on the couch next to Vaggie and I took an empty chair. 

“Okay, uh, a boundary of mine is…I don’t like having my stuff touched, or moved around and besides Niffty’s cleaning which I do appreciate, I really don’t want anyone in my room uninvited, no matter what.” I say and Charlie gives a little round of applause and a proud smile. 

“That is very good to know Lilly! Thank you for sharing! As for me, my boundary is that if you want to talk you just have to tell me!” She says proudly. 

“Babe, that’s not really a boundary, like mine is no one but you can touch my hair. It’s a line that I do not want crossed.”With that Vaggie eyed me and Angel, as if we had been plotting to touch her hair and we both held up our hands to say we are innocent! They wen’t back and forth on exactly what qualifies as a boundary, but out of the Connor of my eye I saw Alastor still through the lobby. I pretended to be preoccupied on my phone, but really I was just watching him. He want over to Husk and told him something and then headed out the front door, cheery as ever. I didn’t want to loose him, but I couldn’t walk out immediately either I counted to five and figured that should be enough time for him to get down the stairs outside. 

“I have to go!” I exclaimed and stood up. I hadn’t really thought of a good excuse to tell them. “I uh, have a headache, I need to step outside for a second” That seemed like enough for Charlie and Vaggie, but Angel gave me a look that said he knows that’s bullshit. I smiled back at the demon, who wouldn’t pry right now, but I know when I get back he will start the interrogation. 

I make my way out of the room and out a side door of the hotel to hopefully be less noticeable. I spot Alastor down the drive leading up to the hotel and start to quietly move closer. It will be easier when we get into the city, if that’s where he’s headed, but here the space is more open. I leapfrog from behind bushes and trees and very convenient garbage cans until we make it to the city blocks. I don’t have to worry as much now, I can blend in with the masses of demons moving around me and all the noise they make. Alastor is still walking up ahead by a good few yards, grin plastered on. I can’t tell where exactly we must be going this time of day. I’ve never actually seen him with a drink in his hand despite employing Husk so it probably isn’t a bar let alone a club, no respectable tailor is open this late, maybe he was meeting someone, but who? We were nearing the Vs’ district, somewhere I didn’t think Alastor had much interest in visiting. Maybe though, he needed to repair something in his radio tower? The best tech is in this district. I saw him begin to turn his head my way and slipped around the corner of a side street, I tried to listen for his footsteps restarting, but it was difficult to pick up such a tiny sound here. I waited a few extra moments and poked my head out ever so slightly. He was further up the street now, excellent, he didn’t notice me. 

I slipped back out of my hiding place and kept my head down catching back up with him a little. Damn were his legs long. I tried to pay attention to what store fronts were up ahead to try and guess if he was going to any of them, but nothing seemed right. Finally he stopped, so I did too, in front of a building and after the tiniest pause a man stepped out, joining Alastor. He was tall and imposing, even over Alastor, but the radio demon didn’t seem worried in the slightest. A massive black cloak enveloped the tall demon and even from here I could see the green glow of his eyes, Zestial. What business did he have with Zestial? They are both overlords, sure, but not even in the same ring of hell and I doubt he is just grabbing an evening tea with someone as powerful as Zestial. I should abandon this plan now. It was going to be one thing if Alastor caught me, but a being like Zestial could snap my neck without even looking in my direction and he wouldn’t be waiting around for me to explain myself. I couldn’t though, this just scratched at that curiosity of mine more. How does Zestial fit into his plans? Is he going to help the hotel? I highly doubt it. Maybe Alastor was just making the rounds though, saying hello to old friends and foes now that he has returned. I couldn’t back down now I just knew that I was getting closer to something. 

They began walking and demons quite literally jumped out of Zestial's way, that was fear that Alastor couldn’t quite inspire himself right now. Maybe that’s why he is meeting with the ancient overlord, he needs to be associated with power like that if he is going to start taking back over territory. The two of them stopped and I pretended to read a flyer that was near me to look inconspicuous, trying to listen to their voices. They spoke hushed, but from where I was standing it sounded friendly all the same. I heard Alastor wish him a merry goodbye and turned on my heels. I didn’t have the chance to see where Alastor had walked Zestial to, but if this was his mission it was now complete and he would start heading my way. I kept my head down as I started walking away, back the way we came trying to walk quickly, but not enough to draw attention to myself. Now I could pick up the sound of Alastor’s steps with his cane behind me, 1-2-click 1-2-click, he was humming to himself, but those fucking long legs were gaining on me. Then I felt someone grab my arm from the side, yanking me hard around the very corner I had hid from Alastor just a few minutes ago. 

I looked up to face my assailant, but I didn’t need to know who it would be, Alastor. He shook his head at me, another  shadow arm wrapped around me and pinned me to the wall. My arms were pinned to my sides with a painful grip and I was raised just high enough for my feet to be off the ground. I thought I knew what I would say to him if he caught me, but now looking at his face I couldn’t think of anything that would make him forgive me. 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Very rude to be spying my dear, very rude indeed. Did you really think I didn’t notice? That I couldn’t hear your little steps behind me, feel your wide eyes boring into my back?” He asked getting close to my face. I could feel the heat and anger rolling off of him as he spoke. All I could do was look into his eyes, I wanted to say something, anything, make it my turn to apologize, but I just kept staring like a deer in headlights. I couldn’t move if I wanted to, I just hoped if he had changed his mind, if Angel was wrong about Charlie’s stamp of ‘Do-Not-Kill’ Alastor would be merciful enough to make it quick, but all of hell knew that wasn’t his style. “Nothing to say for yourself now, hm? Not so cool when you’re the one in the hot seat.” He growled, his voice growing heavier with static, like every word was strained to get out. 

“I-“ I struggled to get enough stale air in my lungs to form a sentence. “I’m sorry.” It came out strangled and launched me into a coughing fit. I wanted to say more, to explain, but even the concept sounded stupid and naive. Maybe my dream was a prophecy, maybe in the afterlife I can see the future, and that future is the radio demon tearing me into shreds. I couldn’t tell if it was just my vision getting dark from lack of oxygen or if shadows were really about to swallow me whole, but as useless as the words were with every strangled breath I could manage I just kept repeating the same line. “Alastor, I’m sorry.”

I could still feel that weight on me, the unbridled energy still hung in the air, but I could breathe again, and the disgusting hell air never tasted so good. The shadow arms had dropped me, but Alastor still stood over me burning his eyes into mine. That fear that ran down my spine when I first met him returned, but this time he had earned it. “You ought to be more than sorry, I’ve killed less petulant demons for far less heinous actions.” He cracked, he leaned down to my level, his antlers caging me in place. He dragged one of his sharp talon-like nails down my cheek, just enough for it to sting. I recoiled at the touch. 

“I just,” I knew my answer was stupid, because I’m stupid. “My whole job every single day for all of eternity is to figure out what the hell people want, and to find a way to give it to them. As far as I can tell, all you want is power, I thought maybe there was more to you than that, but I guess I’m wrong. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have intruded.” I heard my voice crack, I hated looking weak even when I absolutely was. “I’m sorry Alastor.” I paused and tried to focus on my breathing. I didn’t want to look back into his eyes, I have no other defense. “I was selfish.” He didn’t respond, but he stood back up. Maybe he just wanted a better view as he killed me, or one last good look at the dumbest soul in hell. 

“You want to know what want, you wish to know what I think? Right now I’m thinking that you seem to cause me a lot of problems and headaches my dear! I think you need to stay. Out. Of. My. Way.” He warned all I could think to do was nod that I understood as he shrank back to his normal state. The energy that had been pounding against me subsided and the ringing in my ears finally dulled. “Good.” He added with a sinister smile. He grabbed my arm and his shadows enveloped us and before I could ask what was happening we were back in the hotel, in the hall before my room, stepping out of the shadows. Or in my case something closer to falling out of the shadows. “I think it best, my dear, if you have any further thoughts to keep them to yourself, that is what I want.” And gives me a nudge towards my bedroom door. I hang my head and simply walk away into my room. 

.

I watched her walk into her room without a glance back my way. Satisfied with that I make my way to my suite, planning how I might hunt my dinner to relieve the stress from tonight. I needed her to not get so involved, if Zestial had noticed her trailing us tonight he would have killed her and then that would be such a mess to explain to Charlie. Back in the street though, her eyes were so impossibly wide looking into mine, she looked utterly and deliciously terrified. It was the only appropriate response to the situation, the way her eyes darted between mine until she couldn’t bear their weight anymore, how I could feel the heat and fear rolling off of her when I backed her against the wall, it was a decadent mixture that I was happy to lap up. It’s not like she hasn’t seen what I’m capable of before, but it was the first time it was directed at her to this extent. I could smell it on her still, even as she had closed her bedroom door, the fear wafting off of her. Good, as it should. When I had her back there she was just another prey for me to hunt, but something in that concoction made me hesitate. Truth is I wanted to like her, I could appreciate feeling chained to a deal you regret, wanting out, freedom, control, your own power and looking for it in anyway possible, but she was making it very difficult despite the small amount of time she actually spent here. Still a part of me enjoyed the way her eyes watched, I do love putting on a performance for such a captive audience. What a pity, she was becoming a distraction, I suppose, every time I heard her giggling with that spider demon, or saw her sitting with Husk of all souls, sometimes just the scent of her after she had just passed by was enough to steal my attention for a moment, I couldn’t stop myself from watching and listening. At other times I could feel her eyes, which held so many questions, on me any time our paths crossed and it made me keenly interested in what she was thinking. I knew she had things she wanted to know and she was smart enough to know that I’m not one to go around spilling secrets, even if she had asked plainly like the night before. As fun as it was keeping her on her toes I did not have as much control over the situation today as I would have liked to because of her. I need to stay on task, disturbances like this were more risk than they were worth so whatever she was thinking she would have to keep to herself. 

.

“Dollface I just heard the end of that conversation and I need details, like fucking yesterday!” Angel said as I let him in, I hushed him until the door was closed and eyed every shadow in my room suspiciously. I hopped onto my bed and motioned for him to join me, trying to decide where to start and if there was a version where I don’t look quite so miserable. 

“I mayyyyy have followed Alastor into the city out of curiosity, since he’s always off to do something, like seriously who is that busy? Anyway, when I did I saw he walking with ZESTIAL and I really should have backed off there, but I didn’t and I should have, but then Zestial left and I tried to get out of there without Alastor knowing, but he totally knew and he kinda attacked me and it was kinda absolutely the stuff of nightmares and I literally think I will be having nightmares for the next month, but basically he said I should never bother him again.” I shpeiled and gave Angel a nervous smile. He looked at me was a mix of ‘what the fuck’ and ‘are you fucking dumb’ and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Listen I figured you were off to get up to some shit earlier, but I didn’t think it was going to be quite that fucking bad!” He gave a little laugh. I hugged my knees to my chest, maybe Alastor would cool off in a while, maybe in a few weeks. He isn’t exactly anyone’s best friend, but I still didn’t want him as an enemy. Angel tapped his chin like he was thinking of what to say next, “Maybe you should focus on rest tonight, I don’t think there’s much to do about it now.” Angel decided and I agreed. He fluffed my pillows and had a big goofy smile on as he motioned dramatically for me to lay down. We shared ‘goodnight’s and he left for his own bed, turning off the lights on his way out. In the dark it felt like the weight I felt when in Alastor’s grip returned, the heaviness on my chest, ringing in my ears. I know it’s just anxiety, but it still messed with my head. I got up in the darkness and slowly found my desk,  turning the lamp on to provide a little escape from the darkness. 

Luckily, no nightmares bothered me tonight it just felt like I fell asleep, and then all the sudden I was opening my eyes and trying to find where my phone was to turn off the damn alarm. I looked for it in the covers and shut off the annoying blaring. Slowly I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I remembered all of the events of yesterday. Awesome. I couldn’t stay in bed long though. I found something suitable enough to wear to work and made my way downstairs. I had just enough time to enjoy a cup of coffee before heading out, which is exactly what I did. I sat myself in the first floor parlor with my steaming hot mug of caffeine, in the comfiest chair in the room. It is not often that the Hotel is quite so still and quiet, but sometimes as I am getting up for work when no one else has stirred yet it was admittedly very nice. 

1-2-click. 1-2-click. 1-2-click.

Maybe this is the nightmare. I pulled my knees up to my chest with my mug on top of them, stealing a glance out of the corner of my eye as he walked past. He didn’t have his trademark smile on, but he didn’t look displeased. It was hard to say though, when he wasn’t being actively provoked. I listened as his steps faded away, off to somewhere else. I sighed and swirled my drink, I shouldn’t let his cold shoulder bother me the way it does, but I can’t help it, I still can’t get him off my mind and alas this is my reality.

All day while I delegate as directed by Velvette, I find my mind slipping away, my body going into autopilot thinking about last night. Terrifying of course, but I also couldn’t get the look in his eyes to go away, like he needed something from me, but there wasn’t that bloodlust in his eyes from the night before. If he could just talk to me plainly this wouldn’t even be a scenario. Or maybe I had just thought about it too much and was distorting my memory. Even when Velvette was talking to me I was only half lucid, just enough to not fuck up. This is why my mind gets me into trouble though, this tunnel vision got me where I am with Alastor I need to snap out of it. 

“Are you even listening to be bitch?” Velvette sneered, one hand on her hip. An aid next to her held a large stack of papers, all annotated with sticky notes and purple pen. Not really. 

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Good, now that the marketing team is done with all this disgusting shit bring this to the fucking cunt in his suite, because I know he isn’t doing his job right now and he’s been dodging me all fucking day!” She ordered and the aid handed the large stack of papers to me. I looked down at the top one to see exactly what it was, scripts? On closer inspection they were definitely for Valentino, Vox would never let most of this on normal television. 

“Yes Ma’am.” I repeated and she sauntered away from me. I headed to the elevator since I knew it would be the easiest way to get this increasingly heavy stack all the way upstairs. I pressed the button that would take me up to Valentino’s suit with a single non-loadbearing pinky finger and took a deep breath. I put on a small pleasant smile and braced myself. Always a joy, right? When the elevator dinged I thought the suite might be empty since I couldn’t see or hear anyone right away, but then I realized I could hear two faint voices talking a room over. Thank god they were only talking. I walked a little further into the space trying to decide if I should try to give them to Valentino directly or if I could just leave them in a table for him to discover later. If I did the latter he would never look at them though, and even if I do hand them directly to him the chances are still slim.  As the sound of my heels echoed on the stone floor while I thought I failed to notice that the voices had stopped. 

“Who the fuck is it? I’m not expecting any whores right now.” Valentino’s voice rang out, followed shortly by the man himself. He looked annoyed, but that wasn’t unusual, with a cigarette in hand, taking a long drag after the question. 

“Mr. Valentino, uh, Sir. Velvette asked me to bring up these scripts to you. Where would you like them?” I asked, looking around the pile in my arms. The tall demon rolled his eyes, clearly he was hoping for a better surprise. He walked over to picked up the top script and flipped through the pages, bored by the task and then fixed his eyes on me, blowing a ring of red smoke into my face and smiling. 

“The real question is where do I want you?” I felt light headed for a moment, I even thought I might drop the stack, but I kept my balance. He circled, taking his time, watching me like a hawk does its prey, but I kept my eyes forward. “Velvette sure does like using you as her little errand girl,” he took another drag of the cigarette, looking down at me. “Maybe she wouldn’t mind if I used you in another way.” Another puff of smoke was blown my way. My senses felt dull, it felt like there was no more background noise, I only knew I was even still holding the scripts because I could see them, and it felt like a fight to keep my eyes and thoughts in focus. There was something to this smoke, clearly, at this point I just need to set these down. Then my job is done and I can be on my way. 

“Val, baby, what whore are you fucking that’s taking so long?”  The second voice I had heard when I first walked in asked smoothly, joining us in the main room of the suite. It felt like I was on a processing delay as I shifted my eyes over to identify the voice, Vox. “Ah, Vel’s pet, how nice of you to drop by! And with the scripts I’ve been telling her we needed back for two days,” he let a twinge of irritation creep into his voice and his eye slightly twitched, “Splendid! Thank you so much for bringing those up!” 

That sounded like my cue, but Valentino stopped and placed his hands on my shoulders behind me, locking me in place. “You know my Angel Dust was just saying how well aquatinted you two had become over at the princessa’s hotel.” Valentino phrased it like he was talking to me, but really I could tell it was for Vox who quite literally lit up at the mention of the hotel.  

“Why don’t you take a seat? Set down these lousy papers here,” Vox motioned to the coffee table and I did just that and then sat down on an ornate couch next to it, my body seemed to be one step ahead of my brain. “Tell me,” Vox looked down at me and when I didn’t immediately meet his gaze, he lifted my head to do so. His eyes were wide and entrancing in the moment, I felt far away again, it was hypnotizing to look at. “What do you know about my old friend Al?” His voice was laced with feedback, I was faintly aware of Valentino’s hands running over my silhouette while he sat next to me with a grin. For some reason I felt compelled to answer the media giant in front of me, like I couldn’t not tell him whatever he asked of me. 

“He.. he’s haunting. His temper has been short. I honestly don’t know much else about him, but I saw him with Zestial yesterday in the city. I don’t know what they were talking about, but they both looked content at the end.” I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. Vox stepped back, breaking my trance when he looked away and I felt everything come back into focus. My whole body tensed once I processed my situation making Valentino let out a low laugh. I knew Velvette knew this was too long to be gone and right now I would take her screaming at me over this a million times over. “Mr. Vox, sir, is there anything else you need from me? I’m positive I’m expected back soon by Ms. Velvette.” I managed to sound far more calm than I felt, clenching my hands in my lap. 

“Oh I need-“

“Yes, that is okay, go scurry back to work,”  Vox cut Valentino’s coming harassment off. “Thank you so much for your time sweetheart and hey,” He looked me in the eyes again and that wave of numb washed back over me. “Let’s keep our little chat between just us alright?” And I could feel my head bob up and down in a nod. Before I knew it I was standing back inside the elevator heading back to work when everything came back into focus. My only solace was that I really didn’t know anything too important to reveal anyway, I mean with the amount of surveillance of the territory I would be surprised if that was actually new information at all. Still, I hated myself for it. Even if Alastor and I aren’t in good terms I’m not one to betray confidentiality and if I had known anything more I would have regretted that moment for the rest of my miserable afterlife. 

The rest of my workday passed without fuss or fanfare so it didn’t feel like quite so long until I was set back towards the hotel, I was dragging my feet the entire way. I wanted to go upstairs and curl up and just let the time tick past me, but that would disappoint Charlie so much and while redemption was on the back burner for me it wasn’t out of the picture and I really  wanted to live up to Charlie’s expectations. 

Walking into the lobby Charlie flags me down to join a group activity, apparently acting out some scenarios she has written out so we can pick the virtuous option. Sir. Pentious and Angel go first and while Angel is dragging his feet Sir. Pentious gets really into it. Even with some of the most corny writing I’ve ever heard he puts on a beautiful performance. 

1-2-click. 1-2-click. 1-2-click.

I can’t stop myself from tracking Alastor with my eyes as he comes into to talk to Charlie and dances around her. Their conversation is light and joking but watching his eyes now he is not happy. I force myself to busy my mind with something else, it’s none of my business how he may be feeling, I slip out my phone and shoot Cherri a text letting her know I miss her but I am in good hands. While Charlie is distracted Vaggie pipes up.

“Alrighty, Husk and Lilly it’s your turn to act some out. Angel and Sir. Pentious, excellent work please take a seat.” 

“I’ll be the bad guy.” Husk volunteered, though he did not sound excited by it. Angel handed his script to Husk and stole his seat. 

“I’m sure you have some useful experience as a bad, bad boy, Husk.” Angel teased, fluttering his fingers at the winged demon who only huffed back as he stood in the center of the room. Sir. Pentious passed his script to me with a bright smile and I gave a gentle smile back as I took it, thanking him. 

We acted out a short cheesy scene where ‘Husk’ encouraged ‘me’ to skip class to go shoplifting at the mall. ‘I’ refused, exclaiming the importance of academics and that shoplifting was actually bad. ‘I’ then professed my intent to serve my community as best I can and to never do drugs. The room erupted in more applause and I smiled at my scene partner. 

“Amazing performance Husk you really stole the show from me!” I laughed, earning a smile for the normally grumpy demon. 

“I had one line.” He pointed out flatly as we sat on the floor in front of the couch that Angel and Sir. Pentious we’re on. While looking at Husk from here it took all of my willpower to not shift my eyes up to the demon who was still chittering away with Charlie a foot behind him. 

“And yet!” I leaned into the theatrics and fainted, falling across Husk dramatically putting the back of my hand to my forehead like I once saw in a moving picture. “You captured my heart with it!” I played it up as I looked up at Husk and we burst out laughing. 

“Yeah kid I can really tell.” He quips at me. I steal a glance at Alastor as I sit back up and while he still sounds to be engrossed in his conversation his eyes are trained on me. For just half a second we hold each other's gaze, blink and you miss it, but then his eyes returned to Charlie and he bid her goodbye for the time being. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding in as Alastor’s footsteps disappeared.

“Okay guys I’m going to get some stuff ready for my Dad coming over tonight, Lily you haven’t gotten to meet him, obviously, but he will love you I’m certain!” Vaggie gave Charlie a soft smile and Charlie squealed with excitement. Lucifer is coming here? I mean I know Charlie is his daughter and everything, but still, meeting the King of Hell was a big deal! 

“Hopefully Mr. Hothead can keep his fucking cool today..” Angel said motioning to the direction Alastor had walked away to. Husk let out a deep laugh from his chest and Charlie let out a nervous giggle, neither of them seemed to think that would happen.

“Yeah, good luck with that!” Husk added between laughs. Interesting, what is Alastor’s beef with Lucifer? If I were him I would want to butter up the most powerful being in all of hell not actively antagonize him. As much as he doesn’t want people to know it, clearly his emotions steer him sometimes. I was suddenly growing self conscious at the reality of meeting Lucifer himself. No one else seemed terribly worried about it, maybe the anxiety wears off after the first time. I won’t know until I meet him a second time. I sat up a little straighter, is my outfit okay for the occasion? No one else was rushing off to change so I guess I don’t need to worry about dress code. Thoughts raced through my mind until Angel pinched my arm. 

“Aye, babe, don’t worry. He’s a big goofball.” Angel reassured me, earning a couple of small snickers at ‘big goofball’ from the rest of the group. Still, when I heard a knock at the front door a few minutes later I jumped to my feet. Luckily Charlie had managed to convince Alastor to pretty up the place a bit more than normal before Lucifer’s arrival. Vaggie ushered all all into the lobby, save Alastor, to greet the King as Charlie opened the door. 

“There’s my little girl!” The Angel burst through the door and bear hugged his daughter, who looked to have at least a foot on him height wise. She laughed and hugged him back. 

“Hey dad!” She sang as they broke apart. Both of them were smiling ear to ear. That’s cool, totally not jealous, totally cool. “Dad you remember everyone! Angel, Husk, Sir. Pentious, Niffty, and new we have a new guest!” She motioned my way and Lucifer turned to look at me, I held my breath, hands clasped in front of me. 

“Well Hello! Charlie didn’t mention having a new guest, I would have worn my better tie!” He chuckled and I smiled back, but was caught off guard when he picked up my hand and left a gentle kiss on my knuckles, looking up at me from his half lidded eyes. “Your name was?” He asked not letting go of my hand. I almost forgot to respond as I tried not to blush, he was an absolute gentleman, I told him maybe a little bit more softly than was appropriate. “Pleased to meet you Lilly.” He said flirtatiously and then gave a slightly nervous chuckle, gently releasing my hand. “I’m Lucifer, I guess you already know that because I’m Charlie’s dad!” So that’s where her nervous tick comes from. 

“My, my is that how you greet a lady?” Alastor appeared next to us making Lucifer flinch. His eye twitched as he looked at the demon, nearly twice his height, grinning down at him. 

“Right, because you would know!” Lucifer retorted sarcasm lacing his words. He looked like he was struggling to keep his cool whereas Alastor was straight up having fun. 

Alastor looked at me with a devilish look in his eyes, taking my other hand in his. “I’m honored by your company this evening my dear.” He gave a gentle bow as he brought my knuckles to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on them. He ran his thumb over my hand, oddly gentle for him. His other hand found my waist and he placed another slow kiss on my hand. “You look lovely.” 

The feeling of his hand on my torso was electric, practically burning through my clothes. I know he is just showing off for Lucifer, wanting to look like the better version of, but still I felt completely exposed in this position. Even my ears felt hot at this point as I heard Alastor give a low chuckle and release me. 

“A little forward for my taste, you wouldn’t want to overwhelm the beautiful lady like that.” Lucifer said sounding annoyed at the display. He leaned oh his cane out in front of him and gave Alastor a dry smile. 

“I’ve never had any problems with the approach.” Alastor also sounded tense, but his smile was as wide as ever while he mimicked the angel’s stance. 

“I doubt you’ve tried it enough to really find out.” Lucifer shot back.

“I assure you I’ve never had someone walk out after.” Alastor said with a sarcastic laugh, jabbing at the disappearance of Lilith. Lucifer bared his teeth at the demon, daring him to go on. 

“Maybe we should take a minute to have some tea!” I tried to nervously interject, but I might have well been offering tea to a brick wall.

“Oh, my Dear! You play coy, but we were awfully close just the other night,” he teased. I could feel my face again grow hot at his insinuation and I swear on my death that I saw husk and Angel sharing a popcorn bag as they slowly inched away from the corner of my eye. “Oh I only play!” He added, but this whole time he still hadn’t looked at me. 

“Alastor.” I hissed sharply. A warning. I did not appreciate him butting in and using me as an excuse to pick a fight or score cheap points against Lucifer. 

“I think you ought to apologize to the lady, you certainly seem to be rude company from where I’m standing.” Lucifer shot back and Alastor’s smile curled particularly unnatural as his eye has a dim glow to them, a look that said he won, he knew exactly how to win this argument from and was relishing in it, in getting the upper hand on THE king of hell, fallen Angel, divine creation, Lucifer. Even if it was a petty quarrel. He leaned down ever so slightly, still over the shorter man’s head. 

“Her eyes disagree, I rather think she enjoys my company based on who she has been watching.” He hissed out through his teeth. Lucifer looked at me and I had to pull my eyes off Alastor to return the glance. I felt humiliated. He was right, I was of course focused on him right now just like every time I saw him, even with fucking Lucifer standing next to him. 

“Alastor.” It came out soft and small, more than a whisper but it lacked the confidence of real speech. 

“I think some tea might be a good idea.” Vaggie said pointedly to the two. Alastor and Lucifer were still staring each other down though. 

“Daaaaaaaaaaadddddd” Charlie groaned, finally snapping him back into reality, he sent me a kind smile and then walked back to his daughter. 

“Sorry sweetheart, what can I say, old habits die hard am I right? Now you said you had some kind of flow chart drawn up to show me? Or was it a cork board?” He asked and she lit back up. Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer left for Charlie’s office where she did much of her planning for the hotel. 

We were alone together again, this time it was my turn to walk away. 

•

I had heard the filthy Angel’s teasing of Lilly from across the hotel and when I saw him bring her hand to his lips something in my gut turned. Stepping out into the scene, seeing the bright crimson spread across her face by just looking at him disgusted me. I could smell the attraction on her, but I also watched her focus shift off of the divine creature and onto me as we went back and worth. Knowing that even here with most powerful creature she may ever meet those eyes still latched into me, that was gratifying. The feeling of power it lent me was intoxicating, something I have been lacking. This time I won, I had the advantage, I have something over the king of hell. Even if that is just the attention of a doe eyed sinner, I basked in the victory. But as I did I noticed the expression on her face, a light blush still dusted her cheeks which contrasted the lost look in her eyes as her mouth pulled into a decided frown. Now those eyes were cast to the ground. 

“What is wrong with you?” She asked quietly, if we hadn’t been the only two left in the room I would have wondered if it had even been directed my way. Her hands began fiddling with the material at the hem of her shirt, smoothing out minor creases with her thumbs absentmindedly. 

“Come now, just a bit of light teasing! The elder Morningstar is never serious with his courting anyway, no real loss.” I told her, keeping my voice light. I was right, he’s known to flirt on the rare occasions he has been out of his house in the last seven years, but the abandonment from his ex wife seems to have crippled his ability to do anything more. Yet I could still smell a hint of attraction, and some combination of shame and anger, on her. 

“Goodnight Alastor.” Was all she said, walking away from me. What a pity, she’s so fun to play with, even when she doesn’t want to respond her eyes and her scent betray her. Some part of me deep within me wanted her to stay, or the feeling her gaze gave me to stay, but I had a late night broadcast to perform and I wouldn’t want to leave my audience waiting. 

Part Four

______________________________________________________________

tags: @aperfectidiot @aleeeeeeees-stuff

[chrysanthemumgames]

Progress Report - August

Hey everyone!

Nothing new is out, this is just an update. Anyone interested in recent progress in FoA, please do read on!

So, in August I did enough writing to bring Chapter Ten up to 50k words. There's still some more to go, but I'm fairly certain I'll be able to finish the chapter sometime in late September, or early October at the latest, and then move it through its schedule of early access and public release.

After I've done this, only a (hopefully) short epilogue will remain before the first draft is complete. This first draft will remain up and accessible to all while I put the game through its first round of edits and improvements. I will likely hold a private beta for that second draft, so if that's something you're interested in, maybe keep it in mind for now and be on the lookout for an announcement in October or November of this year.

Once I've done those two rounds of editing, I will be submitting the game for publication. At that time, the original first draft version will come down. I hope to reach this stage by the end of the year.

I'm also interested in getting the cover art together here soon, so if anyone happens to have an interest in drawing that and licensing it to me for commercial use (with due compensation, obviously), please get in contact!

And that's... basically where I'm at right now. So hopefully you'll be hearing from me again soon with a more official date announcement for Chapter Ten. Until then, stay well. :)

[winchesterwild78]

First Aid pt 5

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, Nurse, mention of other SPN characters.

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, violence, fluff

A/N: This is a request: I’ve always wondered what a Dean x nurse series would look like in SPN if you ever felt inclined to write one! This will be a short series for my dear sweet friend. 

*One more Chapter to go.*

This will use some characters from Supernatural, but it will not follow the timeline or story. I wrote it fast and edited it fast, please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 1 year*

You’d been hunting with Sam and Dean for a little over a year. You resigned from your job at the hospital after your leave of absence was over, and you haven’t looked back. You’d become a better hunter, Dean was trusting your instincts more, and you were still able to use your nursing skills, especially since Sam and Dean were prone to injury during a hunt. 

The three of you had been through so much the past year. After finding out Sam and Dean were legacies, the three of you found a home in a Men of Letters bunker. It had everything you needed, a full kitchen, showers, bedrooms, tons of lore and books, cars, and above all, a safe place to live. It quickly became a home.

Dean loved showing off his cooking skills, Sam was in heaven in the library, and you finally felt like you and Dean could focus on your relationship a little more. Recently you and Dean were drifting apart and it scared you. 

You love Dean and you see a future with him. You were starting to wonder if he saw one with you anymore. It broke your heart how he was pushing you away.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Sam asked as he looked up from the latest book he was reading. You sighed, “Yeah, just thinking is all.” Sam looked at you with a puzzled look on his face. “Well, you know I’m here if you want to talk. You’re like a sister to me and I care about you.” You reached out and touched his arm, “Thank you Sammy, I really appreciate that.” He placed his hand on yours and smiled, “Of course, I love you, Y/N.” 

Dean rounded the corner as Sam said he loved you, and he saw the two of you touching and he got pissed. “What the hell is going on here? Sam, why are you telling my girlfriend you love her, and why are you two touching each other?!” Your head spun and you looked at Dean, “Dean, it’s not what you think. He offered to help me and I told him I appreciated it. He said he loves me like a sister.” 

“Yeah, right. You don’t think I see what this is? You haven’t slept with me for a month and now you’re trying to warm my brother’s bed.” Your jaw dropped and tears pricked your eyes. Sam stood up, “Dean, what the hell?! She loves you! You’re the one that’s been pushing her away. I’ve seen it since we found this place.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about Sam! Stay out of it! Unless you want her in your bed.” By this time your tears were falling and your heart was broken. You spoke softly, “Dean I love you, I only want you. I love Sam like a brother, that’s it. I think this was a mistake.” “Yeah, sweetheart it definitely was.”

You softly gasped, tears kept falling. “Dean, you don’t mean that. You and Y/N are great together, she loves you, she gave up her life for you, for us.” Dean didn’t say a word, his jaw just clenched and he stormed off. 

You turned and headed toward your shared room with Dean. Sam came up behind you, “Y/N, please don’t go. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but I know he loves you.” “Thank you, Sam, for everything. I need to go. He thinks I want to sleep with you. I don’t know what happened, but since we moved in here, he’s pushed me away. I can’t stay here any longer.” 

You grabbed your duffle bag and packed your stuff. Sam sighed and hugged you, “Please answer my calls when I call you, and let me know where you end up.” “I will Sammy, please tell Dean I love him and goodbye.” Sam nodded and you turned to walk away. 

With tears falling down your face you climbed the metal stairs of the bunker. As you got to the top you turned around one last time. You saw Dean standing in the war room, his face full of anger but regret too. Your breath hitched as you turned and opened the door and walked out. 

You climbed in your car and headed towards your house. Maybe you could get your job back. How could you let yourself get involved with a patient in the first place, you knew it was going to end badly. 

About 6 hours later you pulled into your driveway. Your home welcomed you like an old friend with open arms. While you were gone, you had paid someone to take care of the house for you. It looked just as good as you left it. When you walked in you dropped your bag and went straight to your bedroom. You collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.

*Time Jump 3 weeks* 

You’d been home and back to work for a few weeks. You couldn’t get back at the hospital, but you were able to take a job as a travel nurse. Which worked out for you, since you had been on the road for so long you needed to keep moving. 

Sam had texted and called a few times to check on you. Your most recent phone call you finally asked about Dean. Sam sighed, “He’s thrown himself into hunting. He’s dragging us everywhere on any hunt he can find. I know he misses you. Maybe you could call him.” You sighed, “Sam, he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I still love him, but if he misses me or wants me then he can reach out.”

Sam sighed, “Yeah I get it, he’s a stubborn jackass. Maybe we will run into you, we are headed your way.” “Well, I’d love to see you Sammy, Dean not so much.” Sam chuckled, “I’ll let you know when we pull in town and I’ll meet you for coffee or something.” “Okay, Sam. I can’t wait to see you.”

You put the rest of your groceries away and sat on the couch. You scrolled through the pictures on your phone, ones of Dean and you. Your finger hovered over the delete button, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. 

Throwing your phone to the side you laid back on the couch and sighed. You heard a ding from your phone so you leaned over and grabbed it. It was a text.

Dean: Hey sweetheart

You stared at your phone and the message from Dean. After all this time, he sends that?!? What the hell does he want? He let you walk away, hell he pushed you away.

You: Please don’t call me that. What do you want, Dean?

Dean: I want to see you. We are coming into town and I just want to talk.

You: Why? You made it clear how you felt the day I left. You didn’t stop me, come after me, or text me this whole time. I could’ve been dead for all you knew.

Dean: Sweetheart, please meet me. I knew you were okay, I made Sammy tell me.

You smiled slightly when you found out he had been asking about you, but he could have reached out to you.

You: Why didn’t you reach out to me? Why go through Sam? You know, the brother you accused of wanting to sleep with me!

Dean: Baby, please just meet me. I’m sorry.

You: Fine, come by the house. I’ll give you an hour.

Dean: Thank you! I’ll be there in 5 minutes. 

You took a deep breath. Could you really handle seeing him again? You knew you were still in love with him. A few minutes later there was a knock on your door. You knew it was Dean.

You steadied your breath and opened the door. Dean was standing there looking handsome as ever. His jeans hugging his body, a t-shirt that fit perfectly across his chest, and his button up shirt hanging loosely on his body. His green eyes sparkled and his lips perfectly plump and soft. You bit your lip when you saw him.

“Hello sweetheart, you look beautiful.” You smiled and stepped to the side. “Thank you, Dean. Would you like a drink? I have water, beer and whiskey.” “Sure, I’ll have a beer.” You walked to the kitchen, feeling his eyes on you as you grabbed the beer. You handed it to him and your fingers brushed against his. You felt a spark shoot through you. 

“So, Dean, what did you want to talk to me about?” “Sweetheart, I screwed up. I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I damn sure shouldn’t have let you walk out.” You sat on the couch watching him. You could see the regret in his eyes. “Dean, I don’t understand. You pushed me away once we found the bunker. Why? You fucking broke me Dean. You accused me of wanting to sleep with your brother. I just don’t think I can forgive you. You stood there and let me walk out. You looked right at me, tears in my eyes as I walked towards the door and you let me leave. You’re a fucking coward, Dean Winchester.” Tears filled your eyes. Your chest heaving and your heart pounding. You still loved him so much, but you were so hurt. The hurt and anger from the past few months just boiled over. 

Dean clenched his jaw. He was hurt by your words, but he knew it was the truth. “You know what, I came here to talk to you not be called a fucking coward! I thought you were going to at least listen to me. Damnit!” “What’s there to talk about, Dean?! You couldn’t reach out to me for months and now all of a sudden you’re sorry!? Why!? Your latest conquest doesn’t want you anymore?” 

You started to stand and walk away from him. He stood and grabbed your arm, “Stop! Please don’t walk away again.” Dean pulled you closer to him, “Honestly I was scared. It’s not an excuse, but I was. I’m in love with you and I felt safe with you. For the first time in a long time we found a home, I felt safe and I wanted to start a family with you. Start our lives together. I was scared it was all going to be taken away from me, from us. So I tried to distance myself. I couldn’t stand to lose you to a monster, so I thought if I pushed you away, you’d leave and be safe.”

“Dean, you should have talked to me. You could have at least let me decide if I wanted to even try to start a life with you, start a family. Dean I loved you, hell I still do. I haven’t been able to move on, because I want to be with you. I don’t care what monsters throw at us, I want to fight side by side.” 

Dean pulled you flush to him and captured your lips in a fervent kiss. You moaned into his mouth. “I love you, Y/N, so much. Please come back home. I’m sorry.” The last few tears left your eyes and Dean wiped them away. “Dean, I don’t know.” Dean looked at you, “What can I do to prove to you I’m sorry and won’t ever do that again?” 

“I don’t know Dean, it’s gonna take some time.” “I understand, just please consider coming home and let’s work on us, please.” You took a deep breath, “Okay, I’ll come back home, but you have to prove to me you mean what you say. I can’t go through this again.” 

Dean grabbed you, pulled you closer and kissed you deeply. “I swear to you, Y/N. I’ll spend the rest of my days proving to you that I’m sorry and I love you.” Dean’s phone rang, breaking the kiss you two were sharing. He saw it was Sam so you told him to answer it.

“Okay, Sammy, I’ll meet you there. Yes, she’s coming home. I know, I’m not going to screw it up again. Okay, yep, bye.” “Sweetheart, I have to go. Sammy got a lead on the case we’re on so I need to go help him.” “I understand, Dean. What’s the case? Maybe I can help.” “It’s a wraith, at the hospital you worked at. We’ve tracked them to the psychiatric floor.” 

“Well, then we need to go. I can help you get in, I still have friends that work there and they owe me. Come on, Dean, let’s go.” Dean smiled and grabbed your hand. He pulled you into another kiss before the two of you headed towards the hospital. On the way, Dean explained that to see a wraith’s true form, you can use a mirror, and silver or decapitation is the only thing that can kill it. Once at the hospital, Dean grabbed two silver knives from the trunk and a machete.

You called your friend Ana to get you access to the psych unit. You told her Dean and Sam were FBI and were undercover. She gave you a badge and Dean pretended to be a patient. You “admitted him” to the unit and would oversee his care. 

Sam was a custodian on the unit so he had access too. You walked Dean to his room and got him settled. “I’ll be back, Dean. It’s best if I don’t linger in your room for too long. Please be careful.” You kissed him quickly and left the room. 

Once in the common room you kept a watchful eye out. You saw a nurse you didn’t recognize so you kept an eye on her. Dean walked out soon after and sat down at a table near the window. Overlooking the table was a round mirror. You walked closer and looked in it at the people around him, but you didn’t see the wraith. 

The nurse you were watching disappeared and you panicked a little. You walked through the hallway looking into rooms as you passed but you didn’t see her. You approached a closet where you heard a noise. You took a deep breath and swung open the door. You found the nurse in the closet with a doctor and they were having sex. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” You said as you closed the door. Okay, probably not the wraith. You saw Sam and told him what happened, he couldn’t stop laughing. “Shut up, Sam, it’s not funny.” 

Dean was watching the nurses and doctors, he’d dealt with a wraith before and it was a nurse. It made sense to keep an eye on them. You walked over to Dean to check on him and tell him about the nurse you thought was the wraith. He laughed just as hard as Sam did. “It’s not funny, Dean.” You said laughing.

The nursing staff called for all patients to return to their rooms for medication. You thought it was odd, because usually they distribute the medication right there. Dean went back to his room and met his roommate. It was a younger man who according to his chart had multiple personalities. You stayed close to Dean’s room and offered to give the medication to the two patients in the room. 

You went in to give Dean his medication and his roommate. Dean of course didn’t take the medication. When you went over to the roommate, something seemed off. You weren’t sure if it was the man himself or if it was something more. 

You left the room and helped distribute medication, keeping an eye out on reflective surfaces for the wraith’s true form. Sam was turning up nothing too. It was starting to frustrate you and Sam. 

You noticed Dean’s roommate leaving the room and slipping into another patient’s room. You know sometimes patients hook up, so at first you didn’t think anything. Hearing a strange noise coming from the room you walked over and looked inside. You saw Dean’s roommate on the bed of the other patient and hovering over them. 

You looked in the mirror and saw the wraith. It was Dean’s roommate. You ran and got Dean and then Sam. Sam grabbed the silver knives and machete from his cart he had hidden inside. He tossed Dean the machete and you a knife. 

The three of you burst into the room and the wraith attacked. Throwing Dean and Sam against the wall. The wraith lunged at you and you were fighting him. His spike poked out and he was inches away from sticking into your temple. You moved quickly, turned and got him on his back. You broke the spike and he screamed in pain. 

This was the opening you needed. You used the silver knife and stabbed him right in his chest. Killing it and saving yourself and the boys. 

“Damn girl, welcome back.” Sam chuckled. Dean walked over, threw his arms around you and kissed you, “Damn you’re good at this.” You noticed Dean was bleeding, he had a deep gash on his arm, so you grabbed some supplies to stitch him up. 

You walked him out to a chair, Sam took care of the wraith. 

As your hands brushed against Dean’s skin, cleaning and prepping the area, you noticed goosebumps on his skin. You looked up and smiled at him. Once he was patched up you placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Come on Dean, let’s go home.”

The three of you went back to your house for the night. Tomorrow morning you will head back to the bunker with Dean and Sam. Once back at the house, the three of you took showers, ate, and got ready for bed. Sam was taking the guest room, Dean insisted, and Dean was going to take the couch.

Sam went to bed, and you were heading to your room. You stopped, walked back into the living room and looked at Dean. He was lying on the couch, legs crossed at the ankles, arms behind his head, no shirt and his gray sweatpants hugging his body. 

You bit your lip looking at him. You’d missed him and his touch. 

“Dean?” “Yes, sweetheart?” “Um, are you coming to bed?” Dean’s eyes opened and he looked at you, “Are you sure?” “Yes, Dean, come to bed. It’s been too long.” Dean stood, scooped you up in his arms and carried you to bed. The rest of the night was spent exploring each other’s bodies, and finally drifting off to sleep, bodies wrapped together. 

Part 6…coming soon.

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[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 124]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

I have been sick as a dog since I last worked on this story. I'm not even doing any work today lol. I just want to get this chapter finished. Will probably do a couple rounds and then cook myself dinner, so there may be a gap at some point. Mostly I'll just be, like, reading when not posting. Wish me luck.

“Good day for a picnic,” Helen commented as she handed over the basket Thomas had requested from her a few days before. He was taking Logan, Patton, and Virgil to the cliffs today and it was perfect weather for it. Spring was truly here, which meant that those of Thomas’s duties that had laid dormant over the harsh winter were about to start up again.

The world had been on pause for a bit considering no armies or agents from any kingdom could get through the snow the last few months, but the concerns of last fall were showing their heads once again.

Thomas had just gotten word a day ago that the queen of Lamir had routed out a second assassin hiding in her ranks over the winter. The assassin had been sent shortly after it was made clear that the queen wouldn’t bow down after the assassination of her mother. Luckily, the assassin sent for Queen Cecil had not managed to complete her mission during the winter months.

While there had been no similar attempt on Prijaznia soil, Thomas couldn’t help but feel it was only a matter of time now that the snow had melted. They were already working on increasing security in the coming weeks and, though it was doubtful an assassin had managed to hide in the castle all winter without revealing themselves, they’d be closely scrutinizing all of the newer staff members.

It would be a stressful time in the coming months, which is why, despite everything Thomas needed to do, he was still going to take his son and his son’s friends on a picnic today. Logan had already started taking on royal duties as of late, but he still hadn’t taken them all on quite yet. Considering this was last summer before Logan was of age, they should at least try to take advantage of it where they could. Patton was a year younger, but the sentiment held for him as well.

Then there was Virgil. Despite their best efforts, they still didn’t know enough about Virgil, but Thomas was fairly sure he’d never had a summer to enjoy until now.

“Thanks for prepping lunch for us,” Thomas said to Helen with a smile.

“No problem,” she said waving them off. “I put in some of Virgil’s favorites.”

“Great,” Thomas said. “Do you know where the kids are?”

“Patton said they were going to go pet the cats, so I’d guess they’re in the gardens.”

Thomas thanked her again and told her to have a good day before exiting the kitchen. There was a nearby door that led straight towards the part of the gardens Patton and Logan had always favored. He figured they’d either still be around there, or they would have wandered towards the stables by now knowing that they’d be taking horses to the cliffs. So, he decided to simply walk the normal path from the door to the stable, hoping to find them.

His prediction ended up being hilariously correct. They were indeed on the path Thomas had chosen. It was clear they (or at least Logan) were attempting to make it to the stable. However, as was typical, a portion of the party had been waylaid by whimsy.

Logan was standing further down the path, arms crossed and frowning as he watched his friends. Patton and Virgil were surrounded by cats. Patton was sitting down, holding two of them in his lap and watching Virgil’s legs being swarmed by the rest of them, maybe two dozen in total.

Virgil looked confused, but not unhappy about the presence of so many cats. He was leaning down to try to pet them all.

Logan met Thomas’s eyes as he approached and waved a frustrated hand at the two of them. Logan couldn’t help but smile.

“Virgil fed one of them,” Logan complained as though he wanted Thomas to somehow go into the past and prevent this crime.

Patton and Virgil looked over at Thomas, noticing him when Logan addressed him.

“You’re going to make Princess Marisol jealous,” Thomas said. Logan frowned at Thomas as he used the ‘Princess’ label for the cat.

“Princess Marisol decided not to come,” Virgil said with a shrug. He continued to pet one of the cats.

“She’s probably sleeping on my pillow,” Logan said, sounding grumpy.

Thomas just chuckled. Princess Marisol was technically Logan’s cat, at least that’s what the kids said, and she did spend much of her time in the royal rooms. However, she was very clearly actually Virgil’s cat. Virgil just spent a lot of time in the royal wing as well.

In fact, Thomas still didn’t know where Virgil was supposed to be sleeping. He and Mr. Deknis had gone so far as to tail him a couple of times, but he always ended up sleeping in Logan’s room those nights.

Knowing Virgil, he might just sleep in the walls. Though that still did not answer the question of where his parents or guardians were. They still had not figured it out. Thomas would assume he was an orphan who’d snuck onto castle grounds for safety, but Virgil had told Mr. Deknis during their first meeting that he was supposed to be in the castle, and it had not been a lie.

Then again, it had slowly become apparent that Virgil was good at dodging the multrum’s powers. It was starting to seem more likely that he’d somehow inserted a second meaning into his answer to Mr. Deknis that night than he somehow had some ghost guardian no one was able to locate working in the castle.

“She deserves the pillow more than you,��� Virgil said, bringing Thomas’s thoughts back to the situation at hand. The look of audacity on Logan’s face made Thomas chuckle.

Thomas cut in before it could become a fight. “I could get Princess Marisol a pillow, so she doesn’t sleep on yours. Or we can get you a new pillow if you’d prefer, Logan.”

“It’s not about the pillow for her,” Logan argued. “It’s about her inflated sense of superiority.”

“She deserves it,” Virgil declared. Thomas could tell he was just trying to rile Logan up, and Thomas was sure Logan knew it too, but still his son reacted exactly in the way Virgil wanted him to.

“You have enabled and encouraged this behavior from the start!” Logan seethed.

“She’s a princess.”

“She is not a princess!”

Patton shook his head while squeezing the cats in his arms, completely used to this behavior. He ran a chin idly over one of the cat’s heads while watching the argument.

“We’re never going to make it to the picnic at this rate,” Thomas said to him, “and after your mother made all of this wonderful food.”

“You’re the dad,” Patton said. “Make them stop.”

And, of course, Patton did just mean that he was Logan’s dad with that statement. However, when he glanced back up at the silly argument still going on between his son and the cat covered boy, it did almost look like a fight between siblings.

Especially with the dark hair and stubborn but mischievous look in Virgil’s eyes, Thomas could almost imagine the boy being his own child.

He shook away the thoughts and glanced at the picnic basket in his hand.

“We do have a lot of food in this basket,” Thomas said, pitching his voice up so that Logan (and more importantly) Virgil would hear them clearly.

Virgil immediately turned to look at him, abandoning all interest in antagonizing Logan to look at the basket curiously.

Thomas was never sure if he should be amused or worried about how food motivated Virgil often was.

“What’s in the basket?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Patton’s mom made it. We’ll just have to see once we get to the picnic area.”

Virgil nodded in understanding and began to gently extract himself from the droves of cats. Logan rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem inclined to continue the argument he’d been dragged into. Virgil and Patton got to their feet, and they continued on their way towards the stables.

The horses Thomas had requested be prepared for their trip were already in saddles, though the stable hand who had been handling Mr. Apples seemed a bit dirtier and more exhausted than the rest.

The stable hand seemed as happy to hand Mr. Apples over to Virgil as Virgil was to have Mr. Apples handed over to him. Thomas received Bella with a smile and Logan and Patton got their own horses as well.

The cliffs were about half an hour's ride from the main castle. There was a mostly well-maintained path to them, though it was easy to get lost if one didn’t know the way. Mr. Apples knew the way perhaps better than Thomas himself and seemed annoyed by the fact that Thomas was trying to lead the way. Virgil and Thomas ended up side-by-side whenever the path allowed it to placate him.

Thomas still marveled at how willing Mr. Apples was to let Virgil ride him, especially when he tossed his head in Thomas’s direction, a horse’s equivalent of giving Thomas a stink-eye.

“Are you excited for the picnic?” Thomas asked the boy beside him.

Virgil glanced over at him and nodded.

“I am too,” Thomas said. “It’s always beautiful this time of year. I’m glad I could find the time to take you all there this year.”

“Are you very busy?” Virgil asked curiously.

“I am king,” Thomas reminded, “and now that the world isn’t snowed in anymore things will be busy.”

“With the war?” Virgil asked.

Thomas paused for a few seconds. “Yes,” he confirmed. “With the war, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Virgil asked.

“You’re just a kid,” Thomas said.

“I’m 14,” Virgil said.

Thomas glanced at him. “Exactly,” he said, “a kid, and luckily, you’re in a place that can afford you the luxury of being one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The war has been mainly fought on Mocnejsi soil in recent years. Our boarders have held strong against invasions. Unless something goes horribly wrong suddenly, it would take a long time for the main conflict to get here. The only real threat in the castle would be assassins sent after me personally.”

“Right,” Virgil said. There was an awkward pause in conversation before he spoke again. “You’re winning the war then?” he asked.

“Something could always happen,” Thomas said, “but for the most part, yes, we have quite the advantage right now.”

“Oh,” Virgil said.

Thomas shook his head as they were coming up to a narrowing of the path. “Anyway, today is a day to not think about war. Today we’re going to have a lovely picnic and do some bird watching.”

“Right,” Virgil agreed from behind Thomas as Bella took the lead (to Mr. Apples discontent.)

When the path widened again, Thomas did his best to direct the topic to lighter subjects and soon they made it to the cliffs.

Chapter 57 (Virgil)

Virgil had never been to a picnic. At least, that’s what Patton had informed him when Virgil had described his past experiences of eating outdoors. Logan had agreed even though he’d admitted that the definition of “picnic” was only eating a pre-packaged meal outdoors which Virgil had done plenty of times.

From what Virgil could tell, the main difference was just how much stuff one brought to a picnic.

In addition to the basket full of food (that Virgil still hadn’t gotten to look in yet), the king had brought a large soft quilt that he had Logan and Virgil spread out on the ground for them all to sit on.

Patton and Logan had also packed some things themselves to bring along. Logan had brought along a book to read, and Patton had brought along a board game (thankfully not checkers but something Virgil did not recognize). Virgil hadn’t brought anything (except for the fire knife he was definitely not supposed to have and was definitely not letting the king see) because he hadn’t known he was supposed to bring things. He wouldn’t have known what to bring anyway.

The blanket was soft and a much better alternative to sitting on the ground, especially because, while there was grass at the top of The Cliffs, there were also a good number of rocks.

The king set the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket once it was spread out and then lowered himself down to sit on one side. Patton quickly followed him, already fiddling with some of his board game pieces, though he wasn’t setting it up yet. Virgil highly doubted that Logan was going to be allowed to read his book unless Patton eventually got bored of the game.

However, they would, hopefully, be allowed to make use of the basket the king had brought along.

Virgil followed the king and Patton’s lead and got to his knees on the blanket across the picnic basket from the king. He peered at the basket curiously.

He didn’t quite know what picnic food was, but Patton had told them they’d be getting ‘picnic food’ and he was very curious about what that meant.

King Thomas smiled at him. “Let’s see what Patton’s mom packed us, huh?” He reached for the basket and flipped it open as Logan sat next to Virgil. “There is a lot more food than usual in here,” the king said, sounding amused. “Let’s see.”

He began to pull out packaged food and glanced in each package to identify it before setting it out.

“We have a few types of mini sandwiches,” he said, putting them down, “and some pasta salad.” He set down the bowl.

“We also have… er something else.” He showed it to Logan.

“They’re hot cauliflower bites,” Logan said instantly upon seeing them. Virgil perked up in excitement. That was one of his favorite foods.

“Ah,” King Thomas said, but shrugged and set it down. “We also have two desserts apparently: cookies and mini apple pies. That last one’s a bit extra for a picnic.”

“They’re very good,” Virgil said happily.

“And we also have.” King Thomas paused, looking confused. “Chicken alfredo?”

“Yes!” Virgil said.

“Why do we have chicken alfredo for a picnic?”

“It’s a Virgil picnic,” Logan groaned. “She packed us a Virgil picnic.”

“Hey, at least momma sent us something too,” Patton said.

“I think I’ll stick to sandwiches for today,” King Thomas said. He looked at Patton and Logan. “Do either of you want…?”

“No,” Logan said. Patton shook his head.

The king nodded and offered the entire covered bowl of chicken alfredo to Virgil. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

“Really?” Virgil asked tentatively. It wasn’t exactly strange for people here to offer him food, and he’d expected and anticipated getting to eat on this venture, but the king of the country offering him an entire bowl of his favorite food was something else.

“It’s not really my idea of a picnic food and you seem excited for it,” King Thomas said with a warm smile, still holding it out.

Virgil took it reverently. Despite the time it had taken to get to the cliffs, the bottom of the container was still warm. Virgil assumed it was one of the heating spells the kitchen sometimes used.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, Virgil,” the king said.

The bowl was enough for four people to have a little bit, but for one person it was a lot. Still, Virgil was offered a little of every other food in the picnic basket (and he ate a good number of the hot cauliflower bites).

“Where do you put all of that?” the king asked when Virgil finished polishing off the chicken alfredo bowl.

Everyone else seemed to have finished eating long before Virgil, though Patton still had a small plate of grapes, and he occasionally popped one in his mouth. King Thomas was currently setting up the board game they’d brought on the blanket between all of them.

Virgil shrugged in answer to his question. “It’s good,” he said, “and I don’t want to waste any of it.”

“You know we can just take the leftovers back to the castle and eat them later,” King Thomas said. “You don’t have to eat it all now.”

Virgil just shrugged again, watching as the king set out a group of 8 figures on the board.

“Here, which character do you want to be?” the king asked Virgil, gesturing at the group of figures. Virgil had not noticed the figures were different at first glance. They were all copper colored and about the size of his thumb, but they had slightly different shapes. He squinted at them each carefully, finding they all looked like people, but with different clothing. Some worse pants and some skirts, a few had hats, and one was even carrying a book.

After a few moments, he pointed at one that looked like it had vines wrapped around its arms and was wearing a floppy hat that almost covered its eyes.

“That’s the druid,” King Thomas told him with a grin. “Good choice, and luckily not one that anyone usually fights over.” He glanced at Logan who didn’t react to his father’s gaze. He just plucked the figure clutching the book off the board for himself.

Patton and the king picked pieces for themselves. Patton picked one with an apron that kind of reminded Virgil of his mom and the king picked one that was in a suit of armor before putting the other 4 figures away.

Unlike checkers, this game wasn’t just for two people, and so no one had to sit watching people play while bored out of their mind.

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They played a practice round so Virgil could figure out how the game worked, though honestly it wasn’t that complicated, so it wasn’t really necessary.

The theme of the game was all about stealing. They were supposed to steal special tokens from other players as well as characters in the game and the first person with 20 tokens won.

The other three players argued that stealing was not the point and not the main mechanism of the game, but considering Virgil was consistently winning the entire time, he would argue they were just playing it wrong. He managed to collect 20 tokens before anyone else. In second place at this time was Logan with 9 tokens.

Logan insisted on continuing to play the game to determine 2nd and 3rd place, so Virgil ended up watching them play for a bit. Virgil didn’t mind sitting and watching other people play this game, mostly because he still had the joy of victory running in his veins.

Thomas was definitely going to lose, he noted. He kept wasting his money feeding the nonplayer characters who lived on his lands. Virgil didn’t mention this faulty strategy to him in case Virgil ever played him again.

When Logan took too long thinking about his next move, Virgil took in their surroundings.

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He’d been a bit too distracted by the prospect of food and then trying to understand (and then win) the game to truly take in The Cliffs. They were settled a good distance away from the cliffside but Virgil could still see how quickly the edge dropped off. He couldn’t see the large river he was told was at its base from where he was sitting, but he did see a few of the promised wild birds (including doves) flying around. The king had promised they’d bird watch for a bit, and Virgil figured that would happen after the game was over.

A cool spring breeze brushed across Virgil’s face, and he put his hand in his hoodie pockets to warm them. Instead, his fingers hit something icy cold.

For a moment, he didn’t remember what it was. The crescent shape of it was familiar when he put his hand over it, but he had never felt it cold before.

It was the protection charm: the first charm Virgil had ever made with Logan so many months ago. It was meant to ward off small threats as well as warn you about larger threats by changing temperature…

It had always been warm.

“What?” Patton asked, having noticed Virgil suddenly tense. Virgil, despite how he drilled into his friend’s heads to stay alert had gone soft. He’d let himself be distracted by a full belly and warm blankets and fun games.

He didn’t answer Patton. He filtered the other boy’s worried face out as well as Logan’s face as he glanced at him and the king’s still focused on the game for now. He filtered out the picnic blanket and smell of food still lingering in the air and the vine covered figure set in the middle of the board on the winner’s space. He filtered out the sound of the breeze and the breath of his companions and the distant chirping of birds.

And he heard a whoosh.

Chapter 58 (Patton)

If Patton hadn’t already been looking, he probably wouldn’t have had any idea what happened.

Everything had been fine. Virgil had been sitting cross legged, idly watching the conclusion of the game they’d been playing when his posture had suddenly changed. Patton had looked over at him only to see an expression on his face he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t seem good.

“What?” Patton had asked, but the question didn’t seem to register to Virgil.

Logan had glanced up confused and also noticed Virgil’s face. He’d just opened his mouth to also ask what was going on when chaos descended.

Virgil was suddenly moving, crashing into King Thomas who hadn’t even looked up to see something was wrong at that point. Patton realized after the fact that Virgil had swiped up the board of the game they’d been playing as he jumped over it, the pieces previously stacked on it scattering all over the blanket. There were three thumps as some things hit the thick board, imbedding themselves into the surface.

When Virgil discarded the board in favor of the picnic basket, Patton saw there were small darts in it oozing a dark black liquid. The parts of the board they touched were dissolving, the grass under the new holes beginning to wilt rapidly.

Logan seemed to notice the oozing liquid the same moment Patton did and was quicker to realize what it was. He grabbed Patton’s arm and yanked him away from the board so hard he almost dislocated Patton’s shoulder, not that Patton was too worried about that. He scrambled away from it when he realized what it must be himself.

He could hear the sound of glassware smashing above them. Logan and Patton had rolled off the blanket in their quest to get away from the smoldering, melting board and apparently Virgil had pulled the picnic blanket fully over the king at some point.

Virgil himself was now gone from where he’d been the last time Patton had looked and it took him a moment to figure out where the boy had gone. The person who had been shooting poisoned darts at them had been drawn out of the wooded area they’d been hiding in by Virgil’s attacks.

They were cloaked in dark green from head to toe, explaining why they’d been difficult to spot when they were in the woods. Whoever they were, they were significantly larger than Virgil, possibly an actual adult or almost adult assassin, but they were also clearly a long distant fighter. They had not been expecting resistance let alone resistance in the form of a so quick he was almost a blur fellow assassin.

They had a bow strapped to their back, but they hadn’t had a chance to get it. Instead, they were trying to fight Virgil off with an arrow they’d managed to draw from their quiver. Virgil, meanwhile was lunging at them with a broken piece of plate in one hand and the picnic basket in the other.

Virgil dodged out of the way of the arrow striking towards his arm, though Patton didn’t think it was because he was afraid of getting scratched by an arrow, but because it may also be poisoned tipped.

Virgil was distracted by dodging for long enough that the older assassin managed to hit him in the face with the arm not holding the arrow.

He went down, but he took the older assassin with him, sweeping their legs out from under them. Patton hadn’t noticed (his mind working too slow for how fast they were moving) but they were on a slight incline. They went rolling in a tangle of arms and legs towards the edge of the cliff and skidded to a stop only a few feet away.

Virgil ended up on top, his piece of broken plate in his hands. He moved to slash it across the other assassin’s throat and managed to draw blood, but the assassin’s fist came out to shove at Virgil’s chest at just the right moment, causing the strike to veer off course and slice across the assassin’s cheek instead.

Virgil jerked to the side to avoid a second strike to the chest and went back for another slash. The other assassin rolled to the side as he did and the plate only managed to nick their ear. The point of the motion hadn’t been to dodge, however. They were lunging for the arrow they’d dropped a few feet away while they’d rolled. They grabbed it with their right hand and in the same motion stabbed back behind them towards Virgil.

Virgil rolled to avoid the hit, already slashing up with his plate as the assassin turned back towards him.

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He didn’t hit them this time but his swipe managed to stop them from stabbing him when they tried again. They shoved themselves back to avoid Virgil’s swing, putting a bit of distance between them. Both of them managed to make it to their feet during the momentary reprieve, but both also stayed crouched, eyeing each other.

They both lunged towards each other at the same time. The assassin went for a stab to Virgil’s neck with the arrow, but Virgil was already ducking down. This time, he wasn’t going for a kill shot. He grabbed the assassin’s wrist and at the same time drove his piece of plate into the assassin’s arm, slicing down from the elbow to wrist. The assassin spoke for the first time, cursing in a language Patton didn’t recognize as they were forced to drop their arrow.

Virgil took a moment to kick the arrow away from the assassin and it ended up falling off the cliff.

However, this pause gave the assassin enough time to regroup. Despite their arm bleeding profusely, they still decided to use it to backhand Virgil across the face viciously, leaving a long line of their own blood across his face.

Virgil lunged back forward, but the assassin was able to get a leg between them, kicking Virgil squarely in the chest and sending him flying back a few feet parallel to the cliff’s edge.

The assassin went to grab their bow and another arrow from the quiver still strapped to their shoulder.

Virgil, however, apparently went for another weapon too and he was much faster with a knife than any archer. A knife appeared in his hand, having been strapped to his ankle and was embedded into the assassin’s chest before they could even full remove an arrow from their quiver.

The assassin promptly burst into flames, fire catching their clothes (and from the smell of it their skin) ablaze. Panicked and dying, they stumbled two steps to the side. They stepped directly off the cliff.

There was a second of silence. They heard the sound of the body hitting the ground far below and then the flap of wings and screeching as birds below fled from the startling sound (and possible soon to be forest fire).

…

“Uh, Virgil?” King Thomas said. He had managed to get the blanket off his head at some point. When, Patton didn’t know, but seeing any of it was probably enough.

Oopsie.

Chapter 59 (Logan)

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced back briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poisoned darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

[epochofbelief]

Strictly Confidential: Chapter Five

A Modern Feysand AU

She’s a law student turned confidential informant. He’s a federal prosecutor with one goal: bringing down her boyfriend for his white collar crimes. What could go wrong?

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long everyone. Life is... insane. But it's spring break, so I finally had the time and energy to devote to this. It's kind of long, so fair warning ;) Also, I did just spend four straight hours writing and editing this so if there are typos… there are typos💓

Strictly Confidential Masterlist

My Other (Completed) Feysand AU Fic: What to Expect When You're (Not) Expecting

Chapter Five:

A week after Feyre told Azriel she would turn informant against her partner, she still hadn't heard from the FBI.

And her week only grew worse with every passing day. Her professors had hit the mid-semester stride, assigning longer and longer readings. She continued to receive invitations to networking events and all manner of schmoozing and boozing opportunities from her future firm. Various midterm writing assignments were ramping up, and she had just finished a particularly brutal round of citation checks for the Law Review legal journal on which she was a staff editor.

Her only saving grace had been Tamlin’s obvious exhaustion. He left the apartment before Feyre woke up and returned long after she fell asleep.

If it had been any other way, Feyre wasn’t sure how she would have survived the week. The thought of Tamlin touching her sent shivers down her spine and images of what Rhys’s younger sister might look like spinning through her head. Did Tamlin know about what had been done to keep his secret? How involved was he in the more violent aspects of his criminal enterprise?

The questions were endless, and yet Feyre had no one to ask. She was supposed to be the one finding answers, anyway.

And while she desired to put a stop to Tamlin's crimes, she couldn't help but find it ironic that this was just one more thing that had come to rest on her shoulders.

And the FBI didn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry, Feyre thought irritably as she waved Tamlin out the door on Thursday night. He had come home early to pack a bag—once again leaving town for the weekend. On business.

Feyre let him press a kiss to his cheek, then shut the door on his back, doing her best not to slam it.

She turned and leaned against the wood, scrubbing her face with her hands. If the FBI didn’t tell her what to do soon, she would forget about the deal and break up with Tamlin. Move back in with her family. It would mean adding a job to her academic workload, but she didn’t think she would survive more than a few months in her family’s house. Nesta would freeze her out until she needed something. Elain's perpetually present boyfriend disliked Feyre for some reason. Her father wouldn’t know what to do with her.

Feyre sighed, then jumped as a knock on the door behind her head reverberated through her skull.

“Did you forget something?” She asked, flinging open the door, expecting to find a harried-looking Tamlin on the other side.

Instead, she came face-to-face with Rhysand, a stunning blonde woman next to him.

“Oh,” Feyre squeaked.

Rhysand grimaced at her, dressed once again in all-black suit, tailored perfectly to his muscular body. Though he looked more casual than Feyre had ever seen him—his usual black tie was missing, and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone. Feyre swallowed, averting her eyes from his tanned upper chest and violet eyes, instead surveying the blonde.

The woman was also clad in all-black, her blazer buttoned around a narrow waist, a short pencil skirt emphasizing long, tanned legs. Her blonde hair cascaded over both shoulders, and her lips, coated in a bright red lipstick, tugged into a smile.

Perhaps this was Rhys’s partner? Feyre’s eyes snapped back to Rhys’s at the thought, as if she would find the answer there.

“As much as I would love to stand here and watch you two stare at each other, the hall is a little exposed. May we come in, Feyre?” The blonde asked, brushing past Feyre without waiting for an answer, disappearing into the apartment behind her.

“You came,” Feyre breathed.

Rhys cocked an eyebrow. “Sorry it took so long.”

“Would you two get the hell in here?” The woman’s voice sounded from behind Feyre.

Rhys grimaced again, gesturing for Feyre to lead the way into the apartment. “Please excuse my cousin, Morrigan Underwood. She’s one of the best the FBI has to offer, but most days she’s just a pain in my…” Rhys trailed off, and Feyre couldn’t help but grin as Morrigan extended a manicured hand toward her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Feyre,” Morrigan said, smiling warmly down at her. Morrigan was tall, and the heels only added to her height. Next to the beautiful FBI agent, Feyre felt short and grubby in her socked feet next and oversized t-shirt. “Sorry to barge in on you. We got lucky tonight—video cameras are down. So we thought we would come to you.”

“Just luck?” Feyre asked, folding her arms and leaning against the kitchen island.

Morrigan and Rhys exchanged a glance. “Luck with a little help from Azriel,” Morrigan admitted, shrugging.

Gods, they really were the FBI, Feyre thought, walking around the kitchen island and opening the fridge. “Can I offer either of you—a water? Or something else?”

“We don’t want to trouble you,” Rhys said, at exactly the same moment Morrigan said, “Absolutely. Tamlin took forever to leave, and even though someone knew there would be a stake-out, he didn't think to stock refreshments in his car.” Her brown eyes cut to Rhys.

“Mor,” Rhys groaned.

Feyre smiled to herself as she retrieved three bottles of sparkling water from the fridge and returned to the living room, sitting in the armchair across from the couch where Rhys and Mor had seated themselves.

“Nice place,” Mor commented, her eyes scanning the room appreciatively. “Very . . . minimalist.”

Feyre shrugged. “It’s not exactly to my tastes, but thank you.”

Feyre ignored Mor’s cocked eyebrow and the crease that formed between Rhys’s eyebrows at her words. She cleared her throat. “So. Care to share why you’re here?”

Mor popped the top off her water and sank back into the plush white couch, lifting the drink toward Rhys. “You’re up, cousin.”

Rhys leaned forward on the couch, his own water forgotten on the sleek coffee table in front of him. Feyre couldn’t figure out where to look as she waited for him to speak. His large hands, clasped in front of him. The sliver of exposed skin just below his neck. Those violet eyes that seemed to pierce her very soul.

She settled for his forehead as Rhys began to speak. “You took a risk last week, going into Spring Solutions without backup. If something had happened to you in there, we would have had no way of knowing.”

Feyre folded her arms. “I thought you wanted me to gather information for you. How am I supposed to do that if I can’t go anywhere without an escort?”

“Backup doesn’t necessarily mean an escort.”

-----

Two hours later, Feyre’s mind was about to explode with all the information Rhys and Mor had drilled into her head. They had provided her with a wire, an earpiece that she could hear and speak to them through, an exhaustive explanation of how dangerous being an informant was, and a briefing on proper reporting and contacting methods she would have to engage in when reaching out to the FBI.

She drew the line at the bulletproof vest Mor retrieved from her bag.

“Where am I supposed to hide that?” Feyre demanded. “The tech is enough.”

Mor and Rhys exchanged a glance. “Feyre…” Rhys trailed off, his eyes searching her face.

“You make me take that and this whole thing is over before it began.”

Rhys held up his hands. “Alright. But if you dream up any more ridiculous plans to go into the heart of enemy territory, you contact us first. We’ll get it to you.”

Feyre rolled her eyes. She didn’t envision herself getting shot any time soon.

“Lastly,” Mor said. “Here’s the address of our future meeting place.” She handed Feyre a scrap of paper. “Memorize it and then destroy it. You can get there by train, so transport isn’t a problem. You’ll have to switch trains about halfway there, but that’s your opportunity to determine if you’re being followed. If you have any suspicion whatsoever that someone is on your tail, do not go to the safe house. Just board a train back in the direction of the city.”

Feyre looked down at the address. “How often will we be meeting?”

“Only as often as necessary. You let us know through that earpiece and we’ll arrange it. Best not to create any new strange habits that people might notice. Memorize.”

Feyre nodded, swallowing the sudden wave of anxiety cresting through her. She was truly doing this. Working for the FBI. Attempting to inifiltrate a strange and possibly deadly organization. Betraying her boyfriend—the man who had fed her and housed her for the better part of her law school experience.

Mor cleared her throat, glancing at her watch. “I’ve got a meeting. Finish up here, Rhys?”

Rhys nodded, clapping his cousin on the shoulder as she stood, extending her hand once more to Feyre. “Good luck, Feyre. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again very soon.” Feyre nodded, and Mor paused, her manicured hand squeezing Feyre’s. “Do try not to get caught.”

Then she was gone.

Leaving Feyre and Rhysand alone in the enormous, stark apartment.

“Is there much more?” Feyre asked, forcing herself to keep her arms at her sides rather than swinging them in the awkward silence.

“No, but—” Rhys halted midsentence as Feyre slumped into the enormous white armchair next to the window, relieved to hear those words coming from Rhys’s mouth. She honestly hadn’t been sure if she could take much more.

Her entire relationship was a lie—everything was a lie. She had trusted Tamlin with her safety. With her nights and days and most of the time in between. He had given her a place to stay after years spent under her family’s influence.

And yet.

“He’s been lying to me,” Feyre muttered, more to herself than Rhysand, who had leaned closer to her as her thoughts spiraled deeper and deeper. “This whole time.”

Her eyes drifted down from the ceiling, locking instead with Rhys’s blue eyes, drinking her in from his position on the couch.

“I never knew,” she said softly. “I never even suspected. You must think I’m some kind of idiot.”

A muscle fluttered in Rhys’s jaw, and he shook his head, one hand extending toward her as if to rest it on her knee. But he thought better of it, instead clasping his hands between his knees. “On the contrary. I’ve spent a year investigating Tamlin and he's slipped through my fingers every time. It’s no surprise you never knew."

Feyre bent over her knees, hands covering her face. “How long will it take?”

Rhys cleared his throat, thankfully understanding her meaning. “It depends. The more and better information we get, the easier it will be to charge him.”

When Feyre didn’t respond, Rhys continued.

“But if you want out, Feyre, say the word. We—I—would never dream of forcing you to stay in this relationship just for our purposes. There would be no hard feelings if you changed your mind.”

Feyre’s hands slid from her face, and she returned Rhys’s stare with one of her own. “No.”

“No?”

“I want to do this. I have to do this. If what you say is true, Tamlin is the reason your sister—and who knows how many others who knew too much—are gone. I can’t stand by and watch that happen. Can’t leave him knowing about the horrible things he is causing, or at least sanctioning.”

She could have sworn a glimmer of pride shone in Rhys’s eyes as he surveyed her. And despite everything, despite the loss of his sister and the investigation and the potential threat to Feyre’s life, he smiled.

“Then let’s bring that bastard down.”  

Feyre couldn’t resist the grin she shot back.

-----

A week later, some of that excitement had died down. Tamlin had been at work around the clock, busy with various “projects” as he described them to Feyre. However, he had revealed that his next out-of-town venture would take place in late October—just a few weeks away. And Feyre was determined to discover the destination. So in addition to her studies and checking in every so often with the FBI through her earpiece, she spent the wee hours of the morning combing through Tamlin's computer in secret, digging through his bags and looking through his phone for anything that might reveal his future plans.

She continued to come up empty-handed.

But she didn't intend to give up, even though her exhaustion grew worse with every passing day. Feyre resolved to take a break from her sleuthing that night as she walked to another networking event, this one just a few blocks from her apartment.

She arrived in her best black suit, pencil skirt just brushing the tops of her knees, black tights beneath warding off the crisp fall air. She had spent extra time on her hair that evening—adding a little extra dry shampoo, teasing the golden-brown strands into a gentle curl at the ends. She even went so far as to add an extra layer of mascara before she came to her senses.

There was only one reason Feyre was putting in this extra effort, despite the minuscule chance that the reason would even be present at the mixer.

United States Attorneys surely had better things to do than attend every attorney/law-student networking event in the city.

And besides. Feyre was still unavailable, even if Tamlin had barely laid a finger on her the past few weeks, as busy and stressed with work as they both had been. Even if in her mind, her relationship with Tamlin had long since come to a crashing halt.

So she had resisted the urge to dab on some blush before she rushed out the door, tying her black overcoat around her waist as she rode the elevator to the lobby. Just a half hour later, she found herself engaged in a spectacularly dull conversation with a pair of junior associates from one of the other firms in Prythian. Feyre had forgotten their names almost as soon as she had heard them, distracted as she was with thoughts of her mission for Rhys—with thoughts of whether Rhys might be present tonight.

“Do you have plans to pursue partnership?” One of the attorneys—a middle-aged woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes—inquired, taking another sip of her mixed drink. The woman was tipsy, but quite adept at hiding it. If Feyre hadn’t spent years observing her older sister Nesta’s drinking habits, she might not have noticed.

Unfortunately, the woman was staring at Feyre so intently that Feyre decided she would be forced to answer the question. Feyre’s mind raced, and she genuinely wondered whether saying, “I don’t know—nor do I much care at this point,” might be disadvantageous to her career. If it might get back to Hybern & Night.

But then she felt a hand at her elbow, a warm male body sidling up next to her, the scent of citrus and the sea washing over her in a wave.

“Feyre, darling. You’ve been avoiding me. My father insisted I meet his firm’s future associate.”

Feyre bit back her smile as she turned her attention from the attorneys in front of her to the man who had just stepped up to her elbow. Blue-black hair slightly tousled, as if he had just run his fingers through it. Violet eyes dancing with mirth. Black-on-black suit only emphasizing his imposing figure.

“I didn’t realize we were engaged in a game of hide-and-seek,” Feyre said. “Will you excuse me, ladies? It was wonderful to meet you both.”

And she allowed Rhys to whisk her away, through the crowded ballroom where the event was being held and up a set of stairs, where he pulled her out to a small balcony overlooking one of Prythian’s many parks to the rear of the building.

“That’s twice now,” Rhys noted, releasing Feyre’s elbow only when she leaned against the railing, her own elbows resting against the cool metal.

“Twice what?”

“That I’ve saved you from the vultures. However will you repay me?” Rhys asked, leaning onto the railing next to her.

“I’ll think of something,” Feyre said quietly, raising her eybrows.

“How are you holding up?” Rhys asked.

Feyre blinked. She had expected him to press her for details on Tamlin’s movements, or perhaps encourage her to try just a little harder to get him something, anything he could use to find justice for his little sister.

“I’m—fine,” she said haltingly. “Tamlin has another trip in two weeks, but you already know that. He’s…resistant to the idea of me hanging around Spring Solutions. Keeps insisting it’s going to interfere with my studies.”

Rhys sighed, shifting on his feet. Feyre tried to ignore how the motion brought his arm closer to hers, so close she could feel the heat of his body soaking into hers. “He may be an insufferable bastard, but the man is cautious.”

Feyre tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her wince at the words “insufferable bastard.”

“I’m sorry,” Rhys said, once again surprising Feyre at how adeptly he said the right thing, how flawlessly he interpreted her mannerisms and expressions. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

But Feyre shook her head. “You have every right, Rhysand. After what he did to your sister…”

Rhys let out a long sigh. Feyre echoed him a moment later.

"You called them vultures," Feyre said after several silent moments passed.

"And?"

"Why did you become an attorney if—if you find most of those people in there as abhorrent as I do?"

Rhys shrugged, the movement causing his shoulder to brush against Feyre's. "I come from a very long line of attorneys. In a way, it was the only future I ever really considered for myself. Even though I hated the way my father's work kept him so busy, how he constantly chose his billable hours over his family. I knew he never had any passion for the law he practiced. He merely craved the money, and the prestige, and the reputation."

Feyre turned to observe Rhys, studying the side of his face as he gazed out over the park.

"But I think watching all that made me want to be a different kind of attorney. Someone who cares about the people I'm representing, the cases I'm bringing. And a career as a prosecutor seemed like a good place to start—at least for now.” Rhys paused, as if weighing whether to say what he said next. “I'm not sure if it's made me any better than my father."

"For what it's worth, Rhys, I don't consider you a vulture."

Rhys met her eyes then, his face so open, so vulnerable, for one brief moment. "Likewise," he said quietly.

Feyre grimaced, choosing not to argue with him. Even though she was the one chasing the money that came with a big law job. Even though everything Rhys had said could very well describe her situation exactly.

“You want to get out of here?” Rhys said suddenly.

Feyre turned to look at him. “And do… what?”

“Take a walk. Grab a drink. Do anything other than talk to those insufferable sycophants prowling around that ballroom.”

Feyre swallowed, and before she could talk herself out of it, she heard herself saying, “Let’s go.”

An hour later, Feyre was two glasses of wine deep, laughing at something Rhys said to the strangers they had befriended at the bar a few blocks from the networking event. She hadn't had this much fun in—in a very long time. She couldn't remember the last time she went out with her friends on a whim, talking about everything and nothing, without discussing law school or work or anything serious.

But Rhys was fun. And Feyre was enjoying herself immensely. She even felt a little sad when Rhys paid the tab over her protests, insisting that he remembered all too well the weight of law school loans, before he ushered her out of the bar.

“I’ll walk you home,” he said as they emerged into the dark streets of Prythian.

“You don’t have to do that,” Feyre said.

“It’s dark and we’re downtown.”

Feyre bit her lip, but nodded in assent, turning right to lead Rhys in the direction of her apartment. They made it all of five steps before Rhys's phone rang.

"Sorry," he mouthed at Feyre, answering the call and guiding her over to the edge of the sidewalk.

"Night speaking," he said quietly, leaning against the wall.

Feyre leaned next to him, grateful for the buzz of the alcohol keeping her warm and relaxed as she waited. Grateful that it kept her from thinking too hard about the fact that she had just gone out with drinks. With Rhysand. Alone.

But the languid peace coursing through Feyre's veins evaporated when Rhys stiffened next to her.

"Who is this?" Rhys bit out.

Feyre shivered at the ice in his tone.

"Tell me who you are," Rhys growled, even as he seized Feyre's elbow and tugged her down an alley to their right, pushing her against the wall and crowding close, as if he could shield her very existence from the world around them.

"Who is this?" Rhys demanded once more.

Who the hell was on the other end of that phone call?

"Fuck!" Rhys exclaimed, the phone going dark in his hand as whoever he had been speaking to hung up.

"Who was it?" Feyre whispered.

"I don't know. They wouldn't tell me."

"What did they say?"

Feyre felt the blood drain from her face as Rhys explained.

"We have to go," Feyre said, hands coming up to push at Rhys's chest.

"No. I have to get you home. I'm calling Cassian. He'll handle it." Rhys unlocked his phone, fingers flying across the screen.

Feyre gritted her teeth. "We're two blocks away. I'll be fine. Let's just go."

And before Rhys could argue, she took off down the alleyway, jaw set.

They made it to the alley in less than five minutes, Feyre skidding to a halt at its mouth. Rhys had just hung up with Cassian, whom he had told to meet them there as quickly as possible. Feyre made to plunge into the dark alley, but Rhys grabbed her arm, shaking his head. "Stay behind me," he insisted, moving in front of and stalking slowly down the alley.

They were halfway through the space when Feyre caught sight of what looked like a pile of rags or fabric slumped against the alley wall about twenty feet in front of them.

Only, they weren’t rags, Feyre realized, watching the dark lump on the alley floor shift as Rhys approached.

It was a person—a man—laying on his side, head facing away from them, legs tangled together.

Azriel.

Feyre dropped to her knees next to the agent, the two glasses of wine she had drank earlier now threatening to come up when she beheld the state Azriel was in.

Two black eyes were already forming, his eyes so swollen they were mere slits in his red, black and blue face. Dried blood crusted the skin under his nose and continued all the way down his chin.

Feyre rested an arm on Azriel's shoulder, praying the agent wasn't bruised there as well.

“Azriel,” she breathed.

To her surprise, the agent chuckled. “Believe me, Feyre,” he grunted, his raspy voice echoing slightly in the alley around them. “I’ve had worse.”

Feyre bit her lip as Rhys brushed a hand lightly over her shoulder before joining her on the ground before Azriel.

"How long?" Rhys asked.

"Half hour," Azriel rasped, a series of hacking coughs interrupting him before he could continue. "Maybe longer."

Feyre saw the shadow of rage that passed across Rhys's face as he realized how long Azriel’s attackers had waited to call him. But he didn't verbalize it, instead murmuring, “Let’s get you up, friend." He gripped Azriel’s shoulders and pulling him into a seated position. A shaft of moonlight illuminated the agent, allowing Feyre to more fully appreciate just how battered his face was.

“Gods,” Feyre breathed, following Rhys’s lead and ducking under one of Azriel’s arms.

“It was Spring,” Azriel said quietly, once they had managed to drag him halfway down the alley.

Feyre sensed, rather than saw, Rhys stiffen at the words.

“How do you know?” Feyre asked quietly.

Azriel coughed, spitting a wad of blood onto the alley floor in front of them. “They jumped me,” he said. “Took my gun, then a few of them held me down so they could take turns hitting me. I couldn’t do anything but let them—let them—” He broke off. “Then they dumped me and said they would send someone to retrieve me. I didn't know if that meant someone to finish the job, or help. The only other thing they said, the whole time, was right before one of them stomped on my head: 'Stay the hell away from Spring Solutions. Or else.' I was out cold after that. I think."

A chill ran down Feyre’s spine.

What did or else mean?

None of them spoke another word as Rhys guided them to the mouth of the alley, where a black car awaited. Rhys ripped open the door, revealing a tense-looking Mor in the backseat. She beckoned, taking Azriel from Rhys and Feyre.

Rhys got into the front seat, and Feyre climbed into the back with Az and Mor.

"Gods above," Mor breathed, surveying the damage done to Azriel's face. "What happened?"

Rhys explained as Cassian drove them quickly away from the alley, winding through the dark streets of downtown Prythian.

"Do you think they know?" Mor asked. "About Feyre?"

Rhys shook his head. "No. It was just a coincidence that she was with me at the time."

"They're getting more confident," Cassian noted, pulling his car to a stop in a darkened side street.

It took Feyre a moment to recognize where they were.

"I'll walk you to the building," Rhys said, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car.

“What?” Feyre demanded, mouth falling open as her eyes found Mor's. "I can't go up there knowing—knowing." She broke off, unable to finish her thought. How could she return to her apartment after people from Tamlin's company had just beat Azriel into a bloody pulp just to make a statement?

"Please, Feyre. We need to get Azriel medical care, and the longer you're with us, the greater the chance your cover is blown," Mor pleaded, one manicured hand brushing back Azriel's silky black hair.

"I want to help," Feyre said quietly as Rhys opened the car door next to her.

"You are helping. You already have helped," Rhys said, reaching inside the car to unbuckle Feyre's seat belt. "We need to keep you in a position where you can help."

Feyre swallowed, and let Rhys coax her from the car.

"I'll call you to let you know how he's doing," Mor offered as Rhys shut the door.

Rhys was quiet as he escorted Feyre to the side entrance of her building. "Use that earpiece as soon as you get upstairs. Let us know you go to your apartment safely. Okay?"

"And what if my cover is blown?" Feyre asked.

"If we don't hear from you in ten minutes, I'll come bursting into that apartment myself. They wouldn’t waste time on Azriel if they found out about you.”

Feyre repressed a shudder at the implication in those words: That if Tamlin’s people discovered her treachery, they would come straight for her rather than risk her retreating to the FBI before they could silence her.

Feyre gritted her teeth, lingering in the open doorway.

"Please, Feyre. We have to get Azriel help."

There were so many things Feyre wanted to say, things that the attack on Azriel now made impossible. Had it really been less than an hour since she and Rhys had sat in that bar, laughing and talking without a care in the world?

But Feyre said nothing, instead letting the glass door swing shut between her and Rhys. And since she knew Rhys wouldn't turn to leave until she did, Feyre trudged up the stairs, fighting the urge to turn back for a last glimpse of the attorney watching her.

Taglist: @rhysiedarling @shedoessoshedoes @popjunkie42 @adreamof-spring @that-little-red-head @witch-and-her-witcher @cinnamonmelody @azrielover @1islessthan3books @jenahid @toporecall @martzja @marinated-fish @riribbonss @tunaababee @muaddib-iswriting @queenofdivas

[writersundersiege]

The New Girl in Town Pt 6

Rafe Cameron x F! Reader

————————————————————————

A/n: This one is another long one, and it took me so freaking long to edit, and honestly, I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I will let you all be the judge. Should I keep doing this one this way or just do it based on whatever comes to mind?

The New Girl in Town - Masterlist

Summary: When Rafe comes to your rescue at the boneyard, what happens when things develop with him rapidly? But maybe things aren’t what you thought initially. Are the people of Outerbanks right about the boy you’re starting to feel so much care for?

MDNI 18+

Warnings: Storms, grief, death, insinuation of sexual themes, violence, weapons, swearing, drug use, and drug abuse, as well as some slight talks of addiction. Sexual themes: unprotected sex, smut, slight aftercare, soft! Rafe

That night, from two separate spots on the same property, two people couldn’t sleep comfortably.

You laid on the Druther’s, soft volume playing on Netflix from Sarah’s laptop; you could feel the waves slowly rock the boat, the double door slightly open, letting in the biting sea breezes that floated through the night while you sat and stared out the window of the ship that looks towards Tannyhill.

Sarah's sleeping frame on the couch across from yours. rises slowly up and down from breathing.

Looking back towards the vast house, you notice one dim light is on and immediately recognize it as the room one door down from Sarah, Rafe's room.

Earlier, he nearly slammed the door so hard to his room it shook the whole wall that connected his room to his sisters, and then a giant storm cloud of doubt swarms you.

From the second you stepped foot on the island, you’d heard about a boy named Rafe who was troubled and unbalanced. The first thing you heard about him was right before you met him while moving in.

The moving caravan stopped at a hardware store; you were buying a drink while your dad needed razors for the box cutters your mom had newly ordered to unpack.

You entered the smaller store, smelling of freshly cut wood and slight hits of cleaning oils, soft elevator-type music played.

Other than your father and you, there were workers, including a few boys your age and an older man standing at the register, but they were the only occupants of the store.

As you were browsing the refrigerator section, trying to decide what to get. Faintly, you could hear two boys in the other aisle talking, and they seemed rather upset.

Trying your best to mind your business, you round the corner, making your way towards the register where you can already make out your dad’s smiling face, leaning on the counter and looking back towards you.

In the last moments, you catch the boy stocking shelves, his messy brown hair falling in his eyes, saying, “Then after all that bullshit, dude, I go looking for her only to find her right underneath Rafe fucking Cameron.”

The redheaded boy, who sits on the floor, stocking shelves, listening to the boy next to him, shaking his head while continuing stacking, says, “is how it is out here, always has been, man. That isn’t the first girlfriend you’ll have stolen right from under your nose, nor will it be the last. Kooks take what they want.”

This makes you stop and step back, looking down at what appears to be outlet covers. Still, too enveloped in the things you don’t know but are curious about, you pretend to pick them up and be reading the back but listening to the boys.

Your dad stands at the front counter, watching you for a moment, frowning as you look at the light switch covers but shrugs, walking to a display shelf they had set up for electric hand tools that weren’t far from the front.

“Cameron and all the snobby rich kids on this island get what they want not because they deserve it but because they're crazy, and Rafe, man, I mean, he’s ruthless; he’s borderline psychotic, nah not borderline, he is psychotic I mean there are so my examples…”

He begins to trail off but immediately starts again: “One time, I watched him beat the hell out of a dude at a party who touched his truck by accident, mind you; the man was smiling back blood in his teeth, taunting the kid who wasn’t even fully conscious anymore till people pulled him off. I’ll never forget that, and the kid still has a huge scar on the side of his head from the fight.”

The messy-haired boy had been intensely listening the entire time, just like you so much, so you think it’s time to stop being intrusive and be on your way, considering not only are you eavesdropping, but you’re taking part in gossip that could be entirely subjective you don’t know any of these people and it’s best not to make a prior illusion of someone you’ve yet to meet.

The last thing you hear as you leave the aisle back turned but recognize it to be the brown-haired boy's voice saying, “It sucks. I thought she liked me; Cameron has everything: the perfect family, house, and life; no wonder she doesn’t want someone like me when someone like him even offers. I’m just some kid who grew up on The Cut, so whatever, I guess, keep moving forward, right?” the red-haired boy pats his back, saying, “Don’t worry, bro, we got you Pogues for Life.”

Eventually, you reach the register, quickly pay, and hurry out the doors; your dad catches up behind you, pointing back and saying, “You find a looker in there cause if you did and you're too shy, I could—“

You cut him off with a rupture of laughter that leaves him wide-eyed, saying, “No, please, we all saw your wingman capabilities were subpar at best a few months ago; ring a bell, cute waiter on the royal Caribbean cruise we took for Mom's birthday.”

Your dad stops walking with you, turning to face you, becoming mock-offended, throwing his hand to his chest. “You smite me (F/N). That was one slip-up, and frankly, don’t blame me for the strawberry daiquiris; they did all the talking that night.”

You shake your head, giving him a skeptical look. “I don’t remember a glass of Strawberry and Rum saying to a fully grown man. Who was working; may I remind you. that if he didn’t already have a girlfriend and wanted a good one or just wanted a new one…I was single, and then leaving my freaking phone number on a napkin, nope, pretty sure it was you.”

You end poking him in the chest with a small laugh and kind eyes because it is a story to laugh about; he gives you a defeated look while pushing you both to walk back slowly. You don’t notice till halfway there your dad is relatively still, and his defeated look turns to regret or sorrow; “Dad.”

Right as you make it back to the caravan, your father looks up, eyes wide; he gently grabs your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands and placing a kiss on top of your head before pulling you in a vast Charlie-style bear hug, swinging you back and forth squeezing till you felt you couldn’t breathe but you laugh a hearty laugh.

Moments like these remind you of being a little girl and playing with your dad on the beach, collecting shells, and splashing and running along the water line. These moments made you feel free.

He sets you gently on the ground, saying as he’s hugging you, “This time is gonna be different, Peanut, I promise.” You hug him tighter, not precisely sure what he’s talking about, but getting an idea from the look of sorrow you saw shadow his face. You break apart, smiling at him and hopping in the car, driving to your new home.

And that’s when you finally saw him in the flesh; at first, you didn’t know who he was, but out of the group at Topper's playing basketball, he’s the one that immediately caught your eye.

When you saw him, you knew from that second he was not only gorgeous but so dangerous. he was playing ball with the boys, moderately sweaty but nowhere compared to the other two, who were nearly drenched, which showed his athleticism; he had hard lines in his eyebrows almost seeming to have a permanent frown on his face.

His hair, which was so sandy and dirty blond, reminded you of the beaches back home and their mix of yellow and brown sparkling slightly when the sun would glint on it, and it hung right in his eyes, causing him to have to move it out of his face.

When he finally took attention to your arrival, you knew he was looking; you could feel his piercing gaze laid on you like an ice cub was being set right on the back of your neck, but you always knew when all of them were looking wherever you went, you could feel them, but when you had Luca, that feeling didn’t matter. Then he’d gone missing, and he’s still lost.

Luca had been gone so long now with nothing but his necklace and a note; he was the one who made you grounded, but now you want to live cause what if you go missing tomorrow? Wouldn't you like to say you lived extraordinarily? Would you like to say you loved it greatly? that you had fought valiantly? 

Eventually, hearing a knock on the door, you opened it for the boys. You intentionally didn’t turn down your music, and watching them react to you was humorous but endearing.

Specifically, you watched Rafe and how his muscles flexed and unflexed under his shirt and his hair falling right in his eyes, making you want to walk over and push it out of the way for him. When you finally meet with his eyes, he asks you a question, and you smirk, seeing how much his eyes remind you of the sea, its depths, and darkness swirling around with the orbs of his irises.

You have never believed in love at first sight; it was an act of cinematic thrill, but you’d never really seen it or experienced it. Luca wasn’t your love at first sight. You had known and loved Luca your whole life, but you were eight years old when you knew you were in love with Luca, and from that day on, you loved him, and you loved him entirely.

He was your twin flame or soulmate in whatever sense it is. He helped to complete a part of you, but now, with him gone. You are changing and growing; what do you do when you’re sitting across from a man who’s standing and looking into you already like you hung the sun and the stars and for a reason unknown, you like it, you enjoy him, how he carries himself, the charm, the mystery, the coldness. Then, he also seems to show you the sincerity, gentleness, and fondness he has in him that he saves for unique events.

In a moment, you know one thing, and it is Rafe Cameron. He is going to be the death of you; from the moment he sat the dresser down in the room and looked around, softly taking in your space, you knew he was not what they say he is, whatever they make him out to be, it’s not truly him.

You’re going to understand who he truly is, and you have the same thoughts repeatedly as he jumps in for the clothes drives, goes on a drive with your dad, not losing it for you having to help Diana the other day and tonight picking you up from the Boneyard.

Rafe Cameron may be slightly self-absorbed and moody, but he cares much more than he can say or physically show.

As you come to from your thoughts, you realize you’ve been aimlessly staring at the ceiling of the boat at some point while being engrossed by the idea of a man you have yet to learn more about.

One last time, you glance at the windows, swearing to see the curtains slowly swaying as if someone had just walked away, and the light suddenly went out; with that, you turn your back to the window and fall asleep, letting the waves cradle you softly in your dreams.

————————————————————————

In the room now creeping with darkness, Rafe lies in his bed, staring at the door. He had been pacing his floors since he came back in from all the thinking of almost kissing you.

He was right there, and just like everything, Sarah had to get her nose right in it. He thinks back to earlier in the day when his sister had also tried to pull shit with him in front of you about Emma, which was a low blow, considering how many times Rafe has covered for her.

At one point, Rafe looked out to the boat, anchored at the end of their dock, looking to see if he saw any remnants of you sitting on the bow, looking out at the waves that are currently sparkling silver, with the light of the moon, beaming down onto it. 

When Rafe sees nothing but darkness, the pushing and pulling of the waves, and the boat rocking next to the dock, he walks away from the window, lies down and shuts off the light.

Still thinking about you, in many ways, especially how you felt pressed so close to his body, the warmth you emitted on the ride back to Tannyhill making him feel like he was wrapped in a blanket, his thoughts get muddled between his perverse and benevolent thoughts. Still, one’s he’s not willing to tell you just yet.

Rafe doesn’t sleep the rest of the night; he sees you every time he closes his eyes, which in turn makes his heart and mind pulse rapidly, causing Rafe to toss and turn all night, getting no sleep.

He finally succumbs to sleep after he sees the beginning of the orange and pink shades of the sunrise gleaming through his window, putting a smile on his face, comforting him enough to fall asleep thinking about the way you looked when you blushed at him, calling you beautiful.

————————————————————————

The next day, you stayed for brunch with the Cameron family, minus Rafe; he didn’t show up, and nobody was sure where he was, considering his door was closed and no one saw him. They asked Sarah to knock, and she returned, saying, “He’s still sleeping, I think.”

It was lovely getting to know your new friend and her family and learning about their dynamic.

Everyone sat laughing and talking when Sarah kicked your foot under the table, making you look up to her; she nodded towards the Druthers. You see a boy who’s jumping onto the boat; you shake your head, indicating you’ll cover for her as she slowly gets up, saying Excuse me quietly and making her way to the dock and down on the boat; no one pays mind to her leaving though you can faintly see her before suddenly Ward says to you.

“So (F/N) what made your family move from California to the Outerbanks?” you look up at nearly the whole family looking at you anticipatory; you clear your throat and take a sip of water. The easy answer is your dad’s surfing business wanting to expand.

The honest answer was a lot; though you never wanted to be home, it seems like you could never leave home; it was never-ending the cycle of you feeling Luca. Whenever you took a step out the door, you’d start to sob and turn right back around and go in again. Since coming to the Outerbanks, you’ve been out more than you have in the year since you got the call: “There was a storm. Luca and Cameron, they can’t find them, but they will”

That sentence rings through your head, making you feel like spiders are crawling in your stomach and creeping up to create intricate webs on your bones.

You smile the best you can, noticing Sarah walking back to the table, looking somewhat frustrated with her conversation, simply replying, “It was time for a change, and Dad wanted to expand.” before you can say anything.

Sarah plops down as if nothing happened and says, “Sorry, I forgot this on the boat. What did I miss?” she smiles and holds up her phone even though Sarah has had her phone the whole time looking at you before you can say anything Ward says “Just getting to know (F/N)” he smiles at you.

“What does your mother do again?” you go to answer, but Sarah says, “C’mon, Dad, let the girl eat!” he chuckles, and you say, “It’s alright, she’s a history teacher.”

You check your phone and see your reminder going off. “I’m so sorry to be so rude, but I just realized my mother needs me to help her today, so I have to go,” Sarah smirks at you, knowing exactly where you are off to

You exchange pleasantries, secretly reminding Sarah to text you later about the boat. She vehemently shakes her head, and you’re rushing through Tannyhill, bag in hand when suddenly, you run straight into a firm, broad chest.

Long, strong arms immediately wrapped around your waist to protect you from falling on your butt. The fresh woody and citrus notes seem to encircle your mind and body, and immediately after that, you go from tense to relaxed, your head resting with your ear against the chest of the person and your heart thumping rapidly. You smile, closing your eyes and saying, “Rafe.”

Rafe's arms tense around you, and you hear him huff out a breath, looking up into his cosmically blue irises; he’s already looking down with a slight smirk when he says, “What’s got you in such a rush, Angel?” his husky voice dancing through your ears.

Rafe is shocked to see that you’re still here, and he’s even more shocked you’re still allowing him to hold you in his arms like this.

Last night, the fact that you ran away with Sarah so fast when you almost kissed made him think you didn’t mean any of it and maybe you’d gotten drunk at that kegger.

Now, though, as he looks down, you rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him; you look so small to him, saying in your discernible melodic voice

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m off to help my parents.” Rafe grunts out a croaky sounding “Where sweetheart?” and hearing how he said it made you start to word vomit everything you can think on the spot.

“Dad wants to make new advertisements and asked me to accompany the ambassadors today for a photoshoot. I have an eye for that, at least by Charlie’s standards. Also, since it’s about being here and he wants me to take over eventually, I’m supposed to be in the commercialization like how dad used to, and I’m just nervous.” you giggle slightly, realizing if you kept babbling; he’d stand, and hold you while you did.

Noticing this, you went to step back, but his hand didn’t leave your waist. Your hands dropped to his, laying them gently over his hands.

You both look back and forth at each other for a moment, searching the other's eyes, not knowing what to do or what move to make. Rafe had the urge to drag you up the stairs to his room, throw you down on his bed, and kiss you on every expanse of skin exposed to the eyes he had roaming you.

You feel the look he gives you like an apex predator hunting small game, waiting for the moment it turns its head to check in the other direction before it pounces; in the few seconds you stand there, you can feel the way his fingertips dig into your side like he’s afraid you’ll vanish before him for some reason that feeling makes you pull towards him.

Both of you feel the pull between you like an invisible string slowly yanking until it creates the perfected knots; your faces are even closer, then you can feel his hot breath fanning across your cheeks

Rafe gives it one nudge, pulling your body closer so both of your chests meet, eyes still locked; he could feel every curve and angle of your body pressing perfectly against him; it left his skin tingling all over his body, touching you like this.

He also could feel how warm you were, like you’d been laying out in the sun tanning on the hottest day of summer, but it made the blood that usually runs cold with anticipation get warmer. He leaned down just a bit to ghost his lips over yours.

In the lightest voice he could muster, he asks, “Would you like an escort to this event, ma’am?” he watches the corners of your lips curl, making his stomach twist and turn and a smile creep on his face.

You say, lips almost brushing his back. “I can protect myself this time, big guy, but I appreciate the offer.” Before Rafe can register what you’re thinking, you’re leaning into his lips, placing such a chaste peck it left his lips feeling like hot coals had burned them.

The next thing he knows, he hears your melodic laughter bouncing off the walls as you skip towards his door and smile from ear to ear, just like the day you met. Rafe couldn’t move, shocked not only that you had already kissed him but also that he didn’t react to it.

He watched your back, knowing it was in your nature to vanish. The best part about you is that you bring all of this joy wherever you go, and when you’re gone, you take it with you, but the aftershock of your nature leaves ripples like waves in the ocean, which seems to be the constant reminder of you to Rafe.

Your (H/C) hair bounces from side to side, wisps flying backward toward him, almost calling him to follow where your footsteps take him.

Once you make it to the front door with it slightly ajar, the sun creating a halo, you look over your shoulder to Rafe, saying, “See you around, Reef.” you are out the door before he can respond.

Rafe takes a minute to readjust himself and rewind what just happened in his mind because he, for the first time in his life, doesn’t know what to do with you.

It seems like when you’re around, his mind appears to shut down while also going into overdrive. After a few minutes of contemplating, he turns to walk outside to his family and is met face to face with Sarah, who’s looking at him disgusted.

Immediately, Rafe looks at her with a scowl, saying, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sarah scoffs at him and walks right past, saying nothing and stomping her way up the stairs.

This entire show of emotion makes Rafe roll his eyes, yelling at her up the stairwell, “Drop the fucking attitude, Sarah. You don’t need to be so god damn difficult always; speak, stop acting like a child.” with this, he hears her door slam shut making him stomp his way to the kitchen huffing about her ruining everything for him.

On the walls outside Tannyhill, after taking a leap of faith and kissing Rafe, you sat in your Jeep outside the home, looking up at the vast white building and thinking everything anyone says about him is wrong; he’s just a boy who wants to be loved.

Whenever you do something and turn back to see if he’s looking, his eyes never seem to leave. When you call, he comes. He is always saying what you feel you need to hear. These thought makes you giddy and send you to The Hut to meet your parents, feeling like you’re on a cloud, gracing your face with a brilliant smile and a new rhythm in your heart.

————————————————————————

The next day, Sarah and Rose came over to invite you and your mother to go and sit with The Mason family later that morning, and you both gladly obliged.

They were a kind, small family of just Mr. and Mrs. Mason; they also had a sweet little girl who was only six years old; her name was Ellie; when the mothers were talking, you and Sarah were sitting on the porch steps looking around at the damage Hurricane Agatha created neither of you talking just observing the surroundings every once and awhile Sarah would text presumably Topper on her phone.

At some point, Ellie comes up to you, tugging on your pants to get you to look down, and she asked you if you would walk around the yard with her; you looked to her mother, and she shook her head, waving her hand and saying it was fine so you kneeled next to the girl smiling holding her by the shoulders saying “I would love to go on a walk with you” she looks at you wide-eyed and whispering, “Do you think Sarah will come to?”

Sarah picked up her head, hearing this on the spot. She looked like she was in a world of her own before. Her eyes are soft but show such care as she says, “I would love to join your walk.” she puts her hand out for Ellie, and you all walk down the porch and around the yard, talking about princesses, her Barbie’s village, and her Elephant that’s been missing since the storm.

At some point, you’re sitting on the dock while Sarah and Ellie walk back and forth down it, and you see three figures emerge from the side of the house; two of the boys wave towards the mothers sitting on the porch, and one stands with a drink and sunglasses staring right at the dock which is so obviously Rafe.

You look away, somewhat nervous seeing him after the kiss; when you glance away, you spot what looks like a stuffed animal under wires and grass.

In a moment, you stand calling Sarah and Ellie, pointing and asking, “Did you take your elephant in that boat?” she shakes her head vehemently. This makes Sarah kneel, asking about her stuffed animal and then saying she’ll get it.

“Sarah, are you sure we don’t know if those wires are live?” she smiles and laughs, waving you off. “It’s fine (F/N). I doubt it, but I can be careful.” She starts to climb onto the plank, and you kneel, taking Ellie and wrapping your arm around her shoulder, taking a step back from the dock, rubbing the side of her shoulder gently.

Rafe talks with Topper and Kelce, eyes tracing from his sister being stupid to you. He can’t help but smirk and sip his drink, thinking about how good you look, being caring and especially caring towards a child. You seem to be protecting the little girl, which makes Rafe smirk deeper into his drink.

At this point, all the moms are yelling, and Rose has come down trying to coax Sarah. Then none, to Rafe's surprise, Sarah pretends to be shocked, which makes everyone except Rafe and you panic.

Topper yells, rushing forward, and the moms gasp; you have the little girl tight in your arm, eyes wide in shock, and Ellie screams, “Sarah!” starting to cry; you pull her head to your neck, gently shushing her, saying, “No, no, she’s okay, it’s okay,” he can hear the slight quiver your voice makes which makes him roll his eyes scowling at Sarah knowing she’s doing this purposefully.

Your head pops up at the sound of Sarah laughing. Like little Ellie in your arms, your horrified faces turn to small smirks at the show Sarah put on. He takes one more look at you, waiting to see if maybe you'd look back, but you don’t, so he turns to head to Tannyhill.

After all of this, your mother calls your name, holding her phone and shaking it, “(F/N) Crush Waves, we gotta go.” your eyes go wide, remembering that you’re meant to be going to promote at the Charleston convention center they were putting on a Surf and Water sports event your dad wanted to go and set up a booth for some networking of the new branch of The Hut.

Once Sarah is back by Ellie, you rush off, but not before you look back to where Rafe was standing before, seeing him disappearing around the corner, frowning but continuing your pace off and out with your mom.

————————————————————————

Sarah🎀🦋: Want to come to the church's beach cleanup? Save the sea animals and get sand between your toes. Plus, your lead singer is going 😏

You wake up the following day to this text from Sarah, making you laugh and immediately messaging back.

(F/N)🗺️🌏: Sure, you can always use a little sand and some Kelce in your life.

You immediately get ready wearing shorts and a cropped shirt that says St. Jeffersons Athletics, which used to be your brother's years ago. You brush your hair and teeth, throw on some mascara, walk over to Topper's house, and knock.

The door is swung open, and you are met face to face with Topper's mother smiling “(F/N). What a pleasure to see you; what brings you here?” You go to speak, but you see Topper's head pop up from behind his mom, saying, “Hey (F/N), come in, Mom, she’s coming to the church to clean up with us.” she moves, and you walk through the door.

Topper takes you up the stairs to his room; you walk in to see Kelce lounging back, playing video games; when his head turns and sees you, he jumps up, walks over to you, and wraps an arm around you. “how are you, girl?” you smile hugging tightly back before you both step back while letting go saying “Pretty good going as usual” you all make friendly conversation for a few minutes before heading off to the beach.

Topper left separately from you and Kelce on his boat to pick up Sarah while Kelce drove you to the spot, allowing conversation.

He showed you different places as you passed on the island while listening and car partying to music; at one point, he stopped at a house and said he’d be right back, and you presumed it was his house by the way he slammed the door.

When Kelce re-emerged from the house, he looked at you, smiling, holding a considerably large water bottle, shaking it in the air, hopping back in the car, and handing it to you.

Your face scrunches, and you lift the bottle to your eyes, inspecting it. “What is this exactly?” you ask questioningly; Kelce laughs at the look on your face. “Don't worry there, pretty girl, just some fuel for us for clean up; trust me, these things tend to be a little taxing.” With that, he pulled off from the house towards the beach.

When you got to the beach, you listened to the pastor talk a little before he sent you all off; most of the event, you spent with Wheezie and Kelce so as not to intrude on their time. Sarah did, although, come and ask how the surf event went, and you let her know only a few small league surfers showed up this time, but Dad's table ran well; he ran out of business cards to distribute.

Sarah also ranted to you about the attitude John B gave her and how he stole scuba and got fired, blaming Sarah, but she didn’t tell Ward. You frowned at the fact he stole, not seeing the reason he would need to return something you’re stealing; essentially, the boy lost a job over the air, but you shrugged, saying, “I don’t know, Sarah, he’s gone through a lot maybe give him a little slack, he’s alone now. he misses his dad and is trying to figure it out on his own.” she stares a moment kinda shaking her head and squinting her eyes.

She also asked if you could help her cover if Ward calls looking for her and says she’s staying with you, and you agree; after these conversations, Topper comes back to walk with Sarah a bit, leaving you to talk to Wheezie also at some point during the conversation Kelce had disappeared.

As you walk up and down cleaning the surf with Wheezie, you hear her scoff, watching Topper and her sister; you look at her, eyebrow arched, asking, “What is it, Wheez?”

She whips her head to you with a scowl. “Sarah is what it is? She has been sneaking around, and she’s not telling me anything, but I saw John B leave the boat the other day, and she’s been sleeping there; she’s just being weird.”

Wheezie continues walking with you, throwing trash she sees in bags and stomping her feet; this makes you slow a bit, and say to her, “I used to think the same thing about my brother until he covered for me one day when I really needed him to.”

You stop waiting for the girl to turn to you, and she does, getting ready to say something, but before she can, you smile, cutting her off. “You may not understand or like your sister's actions or decisions, but she’s the only sister you've got, and she’s always going to love and protect you no matter how mad you get. Just remember that.” she sits thinking for a moment, slowly shaking her head

When you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, you stiffen slightly until you see the mystery liquid from earlier shoved in your face; you hear Kelce through a chuckle behind you, saying, “Need a fill-up.”

You grab the bottle, take a sip, and wince at its strength. You hand it back to Kelce, and he walks to Sarah and Topper, you and Wheezie not far behind, and has them take a drink. Wheezie grabs it, making your jaw drop, and you start laughing while Sarah asks Wheezie, “Since when did you start drinking?” She shrugs and smiles. “Today.” This makes Sarah scold Kelce.

You all giggle, and suddenly, the Pastor walks around the corner to ask how you’re all doing. Topper calls to him, “Looking great, sir, we’re,” Kelce adds, “clearing the stretch.” he hides the water bottle of alcohol while you and Sarah say simultaneously, “Just hydrating.”

Eventually, it is the end prayer, and you guys are heading out; you tell Kelce you will head back with Topper and Sarah to help her on mission ‘Ward doesn't need to know.’

Sarah will ride back to your house with you, so Ward thinks she’s there. So Tooper drives you back to Tannyhill, and when you see Rafe's bike out front, it makes your heart skip.

Suddenly, Wheezie is pushing past you and Sarah, fast walking on the dock back to the house; you both exchange a bemused look and follow her slowly into the house.

As you go upstairs, you can hear Wheezie getting sick, and you look to Sarah, who shakes her head, letting you know she’ll be good. You walk to Sarah’s room, peeking to see if Rafe is home, but his door is closed, so you go into Sarah’s room, choose a book from her bookshelf, and lie on her bed looking through it.

When Sarah comes back, she asks you to talk to Ward with her, so you make your way down to the porch; on the way there, you and Sarah can hear Ward scolding Rafe; you stand back while Sarah sneaks up to listen; you can hear little bits, but it just makes you look down at your shoes to keep yourself from feeling too much guilt intruding.

At one point, you catch Ward's voice becoming more stern than before. “You need to get it together, Rafe, or you can go live on the Cut.” You don’t hear a response, but you do listen to him raising his voice at him and repeating himself and scolding Rafe for laughing at him.

What makes your blood boil is when you hear him say to his son, “Now get out of here; I’m sick of looking at you.” They go back and forth until Rafe walks through the door. And he hears Sarah, and he looks at her with so much coldness, scoffing and turning.

When you both make eye contact, it’s like everything goes on pause; you go to say his name, but the rage and wounded look in his eyes overtake you; he shakes his head and continues walking; you follow slightly, saying, “Rafe-wait” and your heart dropped when he kept going straight out the door.

Turning back to Sarah when she called your name, a slightly confused look shakes her to the porch; you slowly and cautiously move towards the porch, now feeling somewhat different about the man on the other side.

When Rafe made it to his bike, he whispered a hard “fuck” and then got on his motorcycle off to Barry’s to try and make up for all of this.

————————————————————————

On the drive to your house, music plays in the background; you don’t say much as you get closer; you finally speak up, saying, “Does Ward always talk to Rafe like that?” Sarah looks at you, squinting slightly, almost like she doesn’t know why you care. “I know he may seem charming to you (F/N), but it’s an act. Rafe sees everything and anything as property, and the more you have, the better you are; he’s got problems.” She shakes her head, looking forward, and you park the Jeep in your driveway.

Sarah turns, grabbing you by the hand, looking into your eyes, an earnest look on her face. “I know you may like him (F/N), but I care for you, and I don’t want him to mess around with you as he does with everybody else.” you slowly shake your head and say, “We’ll have to see what time will do.” with that, you’re slipping your hand from hers and opening the door smiling your usual smile but with slight discomfort and disappointment shadowing you “Have fun with Top Sarah.” she starts to say “(F/N)—“ but you’ve already closed the Jeeps door and are disappearing into your house.

When you enter, your mom and dad see you come through the kitchen entryway to the stairs, your mother trying to stop you at the bottom. “Hey Peanut, how was the beach cleanup?” both your parents stair at you, expecting excitement as usual, but they’re met with your back, and you say, “Fine.” they let you continue up the stairs after you are gone from view your parents look at each other, and your mom says “I’ve got it.”

When your mom knocks on the door, you are lying on your bed holding the sea shell bracelet you and Luca made when you were eight.

He had gone and found all the shells, and your parents helped you both get the tools to glue hooks, and you made it a bracelet, then Luca insisted you keep it. Sometimes, you wish you could ask him what to do cause he was the only one who knew you.

You hear a knock and sit up to see your mom open the door; she comes to sit in your bed with you a moment before saying, “Honey, what’s going on?” you sit for a short time, and she sits next to you, rubbing circles in your upper back.

After a while, you speak up, “The people out here seem so mixed up, like that Ward Cameron mom today. I literally heard him say to his son’s face he is sick of looking at him who even says that to their child.”

You throw your head in your hand, shaking it. “Also, there is Sarah; don’t get me wrong, I like her, but she’s so judgmental of him.” Saying this makes you stand, turning to look at your mom. “This whole island does, Mom; he’s been so sweet; he reminds me so much of Luca.” this part makes you pause, looking wide-eyed at your mom, who looks back softly.

A long moment passed, and your mom stood walking to you, taking your shoulder in her hands, brushing a hair from your eyes, and gently saying, “My sweet girl, the world will sometimes turn the victim into a villain, but you, my girl are so bright do what you know best ride the waves let it take you where you know” she kisses your forehead and leaves you to think.

————————————————————————

A few hours later, Rafe’s at Topper's getting ready for the party; when he’s in Topper's room grabbing the coke from his bag, he sees you lying on your window seal, looking out towards the bit of the sea. You can see at the back edge of the house, and your windows open, you are singing along to “In My Mind’ by Lyn Lapid

Rafe sees the sadness in your eyes; even from this far, your brow is creased, which makes him want to come over and run his thumb to make your face rest; it is too pretty to look so sad.

He opens Topper’s window, hearing fully now your voice rings out, singing; he sits on the edge and watches as your voice carries through the window.

Your skin seems to have a soft glow on it from the lights of your room. Your hair was wet like you’d let it dry after jumping straight in the ocean, creating beachy waves, making it look layered in beautiful shades of (H/C).

He listens to the words in the song but in your tone, making it feel like it’s just for him; he hears you sing

“Oh, but darling, running ain't enough to escape from

The monsters in my brain

People say I'm quiet most of the time

If only you knew what goes on in my mind.”

At this point, he can’t help but lean out, calling to you, “Your voice is very angelic; it reminds me of something.” your head whips towards Rafe's face, beaming, “Hey, Rafe.” immediately, your face drops.

You say, trying not to be loud but just enough for him to hear you. “are you okay?” he shakes his head, smiling. “Don’t worry bout me, angel; say how you would like to come to the party tonight.” you nod your head immediately, making Rafe smirk as you close your window.

He watches you scurry around your room, getting ready and still smiling, hoping for something good.

————————————————————————

By the time you make it over to Topper's house, there are people everywhere, and you are bumping into someone everywhere you walk till you feel a warm hand grabbing yours; you meet the smiling face of Kelce with a drink in his other hand. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” you smile back and move your face to his ear cause the music and people are so loud, saying to him, “I wasn’t, but someone asked me to come.”

This makes Kelce smile almost shyly, and he turns his head to your ear as he says, “Cmom, let’s get you a drink, and we’ll chill by the pool; it’s less crowded.” you shake your head, eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of Rafe but you don’t see anything over the number of people. It’s so crowded you kept getting pushed, so you’ll hope he looks for you soon.

You were by the pool sipping a Gin and Sprite, talking to Kelce and a girl named Myra when you heard people yelling, “Toppers on the roof.” you looked over, laughing, knowing this is exactly what your friends back home would do Kelce nudges you whispering “10 bucks he belly flops” This makes you laugh throwing your head back grabbing his arm to steady yourself

You look at him with seriousness, saying, “I’m not gonna bet on my friend's pain, but 20 bucks he gets Sarah out there with him, and she freaks out halfway down,” giving him an evil smile.

He laughs, throwing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. You wrap your arm around his waist while he says, “You know, I like how you think I think we’re gonna be real good friends.”

You laugh again, laying your head on his shoulder, saying, “We are friends, weirdo,” watching Sarah and Tooper jump from the roof, you both celebrating for them and laughing as he hands you a 20 since you called it.

From afar, Rafe could feel his chest constrict, and his blood started to boil. You and Kelce were looking way too cozy for his liking. He didn’t even know you’d made it here yet, that is, until you laughed at Kelce and ran off with the girl Myra he knew from being in school.

Rafe watches Kelce's eyes trace the other girl, not you smirking; he walks off into the party until he can sell the coke; he can’t get distracted.

He’s got to do that before he can talk to you and do the things he’s been thinking about.

————————————————————————

When you eventually see Rafe again, you walk up from behind with Myra beside you. You look at the table covered in drinks and money and some white powder. All of the girls are talking and staring at Rafe, and he’s charming; the one he sits next to is bumping knees with him, and he leans back all of a sudden like he’s relaxed. Topper walks by you looking pissed off; you try and say

“Hey, top you alr—“ but he walks past you, and Rafe notices him, bringing the girl’s attention to Topper; catching your eyes for a moment, you frown, looking from him to the enormous group of women to the powder and he continues catching your eyes every few seconds as he talks.

When you see Kelce making his way to you and Myra, you nod at him and slowly disappear into the house and push through the house until you make it to the front quickly; you make it to your home and slowly and quietly go upstairs, laying in the darkness of your room staring at your ceiling.

You thought about the act Rafe was putting on, and it makes you think back to the hardware store and all the comments about someone named Emma.

Was Rafe really what they made him out to be? Are you just another venture to conquer for him? These thoughts make your mind spin like a whirlpool getting out of control.

————————————————————————

After hours, you can still hear the music from Topper's house, but it’s gotten much quieter. You lay looking at the photos, missing home, your friends, and yours, and Lucas spots everything that reminds you of him.

Then, like a message from heaven, you hear the pit-pat of something hitting your window; you get up and peek out to see at the bottom, Rafe has little rocks from Topper's driveway and is tossing them at your window

When Rafe eventually sees your face appear in the window, he sighs in relief after he did that last sale and bumps with Topper; he had gotten up to go over to you, but you are already gone.

Kelce said he saw you go into the house, so Rafe checked everywhere; he even accidentally walked in on some couple doing it in Topper guest’s bathroom, having to do a slight double take to make sure your cute floral skirt you wore was nowhere in sight lucky for him it was not you.

You open the window, saying with a smile and harshly joking tone, “You’re gonna break my window there, Romeo.” he chuckles, looking at his feet, saying back while looking back to you, “Can I come in?” you shake your head motioning towards the front.

That’s where you meet at the door; you open it, and he can see the darkness casting shadows on your (E/C) eyes; you immediately grab his hand and drag him with soft feet up the stairs; he follows willingly, and you guide him to your room where the window his now closed along with the shades this makes his head tilt, but his head turns to you when he hears your quiet voice say “What was all that about Rafe.”

He stutters for a few seconds, but you stand patiently, waiting for a response before he sighs and says, “It was coke.” your eyes start to get comprehensive, but he rushes to you, taking you in his arms. You stiffen slightly and say, “It’s just a party fix, angel, not a regular thing. Plus, I was selling for a friend tonight.” you start relaxing, but he can feel you shiver slightly.

“Be careful doing that kinda stuff, Rafe; you could get hurt, or what if you get add—“Before you can finish, he cuts you off, taking a finger to your chin and lifting it so he can meet those gorgeous eyes looking back and forth between both of them mapping both of them out and how your face was twisted in worry and care.

Rafe smiles at the look, making a warmth spread throughout him, whispering as he gets closer, “Are you worried about me, angel?” you smile shyly, simply shaking your head, and that’s when Rafe leans down and captures your lips with his.

Slowly, you feel yourself nearly melting backward; you take a step back, dragging him with you, and he feels it too, the way your tiny fists curl into his shirt; he keeps on walking with you slowly, letting you guide him, lips barely breaking contact until, eventually, you make contact with the mattress at the back of your knees. You almost fall, but Rafe grabs your lower back, putting his arm out, gently laying you back, and caging you underneath him.

You both break the kiss, breathing heavily, staring at each other, almost shocked. Then Rafe feels your small hands come up to cup his cheeks, pulling him back down this time, you kissing harsher.

He feels the tip of your tongue brush his lips, and he opens his mouth, taking control and exploring the sweet taste of your mouth; he runs his tongue gently on the underside of yours, coaxing a small moan to ring through Rafe's ears.

You slowly run your hands up from his cheeks to his neck, splaying your fingers through his hair, feeling how each strand slides easily past your fingers.

He’s kissing down your jaw to your neck, hands trailing your sides until one ghosts the side of your breast and moving back down, you quickly grab his wrist, moving it right onto your left breast, putting your hand over his, moving his to grip the fat of your breast this makes Rafe moan and grind his hips down in between your legs setting off a small whimper feeling his hard length pressing your core he hums a gruff “Do you see what you do to me, princess.”

Suddenly, Rafe feels you pushing him back, and he quickly moves, thinking he’s gone too far, when all of a sudden, he’s staring at you, who’s wearing a smirk;

You remove your shirt, tossing it to the side; he eyes your breasts lying on your chest; they look so soft, and as your chest has made contact with the cold air of your room, your nipples perk slightly.

Rafe's eyes trail down, watching how your figure maps out from your chest to your stomach down to the swell of your hips and to your thighs still lying on the bed.

Rafe looks at your smile and your eyes. He then just quickly removes his shirt, dropping to his knees in front of you, kissing your knees up your thighs, whispering, “I didn’t believe there was any way you could get more beautiful, but you’re always proving me wrong, princess” you lean your head back enjoying the feeling of his lips pressing to your skin like a car heater getting warm after driving five minutes in the brisk winter air.

He makes it to the bottom hem of your sleep shorts with his lips looking up at you as his finger hooks into the waistband of the shorts. “Can I?” Saying nothing, you lift your hips, and he quickly tugs away your shorts, revealing your olive green laced bikini-cut panties.

Rafe takes a considerable breath laying his head face down on your thigh; he can feel his cock throbbing painfully below, leaking precum onto his boxers under the shorts he wore. he sighs once more, saying with his head still down, “I’ve wanted you so bad since I saw you, but I don’t want to fuck this up” you guide him to look at you.

“I want you, Rafe,” and with that, Rafe had his fingers hooked in your panties, pulling them down and kissing up and down your knees to your thighs; you sighed, relaxing back, feeling his lips and hands trail you when he hooks his hand under one of your knees; you quickly allow him to pull open legs and he lets out a breath saying

“Holy shit, you’re dripping wet, angel. I haven’t even touched you yet.” You whimper from the cold contact from the air but also his words when, all of a sudden, you can feel his hot breath right next to your core, and then you feel his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your soaking wet bud.

Rafe starts to slowly suck on your clit, one hand coming up to tease your hole, making circles around the opening. This sensation causes you to squirm, making him smirk a moment, saying, “You like it, princess?” you shake your head rapidly, stating, “Yes, yes, please more.” he immediately dives back in, unable to hold back, hearing you plead.

As he goes back in, he slowly slides a digit into your tight hole simultaneously while sucking your clit, feeling you immediately squeezing his finger tightly and pulling him in. he licks strips up and down your clit circling his tongue when he gets to the top.

He hears you making a hissing noise, so he stops moving his finger and looks up immediately, asking, “Does that hurt?” you shake your head, eyes closed, and head back. “so good, Rafe” you let out a pant making Rafe slowly add another finger moving them skillfully in and out of you which makes your back arch off the bed he pulls his head back lips glistening with your wetness “you taste so fucking sweet, but you look even better angel god damn your killing me” the hand that was fingering kept its pace. His other came down to trace the hard length in his shorts.

He kept his pace, looking at you and hand back to gripping any part of your body he could reach. He could feel your slight fluttering around his digits, and then your voice came in a small pant “I need to feel you, Rafe.” he wastes no time removing his fingers from you and reaching his hand to your mouth; you open and gladly swirl your tongue around his fingers, moaning.

Rafe lets out a groan, removing his finger and leaning down, grabbing your chin, kissing you hard, teeth and tongues clashing for dominance.

He feels your small hands tug on his shorts and say, “Please, Rafe,” which makes him chuckle at the whine you let out when you can’t pull them down.

Brushing a hair out of his eyes, he reaches into the waistband, untying his short's drawstring. He cups your cheek with a hand, looking into your eyes, and says, “Are you sure you want this? Cause once I have you, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting you.”

The way you answer him is by tugging his shorts down to his knees and letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor.

Then you fall back on your bed laughing, hands behind your head, body strewn on the messy sheets from your moving around; you are smiling at him like he’s the only thing in the world.

Rafe smiles at you and climbs on top of you, slowly pumping his length; he’s smiling down at you. “You are something you know that right?” you smile, placing a kiss on the apple of his cheek. “says yo—“

Rafe doesn’t let you finish as he slowly presses his length into your opening, making your eyes blow out, and your mouth fall open; he brushes hair from your face, saying softly, “Shh angel, let me make you feel good.”

He moves his hips slightly at first. The feeling of your pussy pulling him in makes him groan and bury his head to your neck, sucking lightly on the skin, moaning at how much he feels you stretch.

You bring your hands to his back, nails dragging down the skin lightly, whispering in his ear, “Rafe.” this makes him rut his hips faster, feeling your legs shaking already, making him groan. “You like that, princess.”

“Yess,” you said breathlessly, gripping the back of his neck till it turned white under the pressure. He groans, feeling the way you tighten around him, and he lifts your leg to get a better angle, the other hand coming down to rub circles on your clit, laying close to hear the little breaths and whimpers you release.

When you connect your lips to his, you can’t help but release a moan at all the tension he seems to be pulling from your body; he smirks but starts to feel his balls tighten and hips stutter.

When he quickly leans back to pound into you, you bring your now free hands to grip and massage the flesh of your bare breasts. He moans, saying, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Angel.” his unsteady thrusts go faster. “God, you are so sexy.”

The pace he’s set has you whimpering and moaning loudly until you are nearly lifting your hips. He has to push you back into the bed. He's pressing so hard you know it will be bruised tomorrow.

At one point, he seems to brush the spot deep in you, sending a moan tumbling from your mouth with the words, “Gonna cum, Raf—“ but right as you are about to say it, your whining and cumming all over his dick.

The feeling of your pussy fluttering and pulsating on his cock makes him thrust one last time, letting out a throaty “Fuck yes, baby,” releasing his seed deep in you falling to hold himself over you catching his breath and leaving chaste kisses to your jaw, neck, and cheek.

He pulls out of you, and you can feel his cum leaking down your legs; he quickly walks to your en-suite bathroom, grabs a towel, and gets one side damp, walking back and cleaning you up, whispering sweet nothings about how your body is a dream and how beautiful you look even in the darkness.

Eventually, after you both clean, you crawl under your comforter, lifting it to him, who’s still standing on the side of your bed; he tosses the towel toward your laundry hamper, lifting the blanket and putting one arm under your head, you immediately curl into his chest.

You nuzzle your head, feeling his warmth and woody citrusy scent and rhythmic heartbeat. Rafe lays his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, feeling your even breaths and smelling the ocean breeze and coconut scent. Both of you falling into a comfortable sleep feeling warm and content.

————————————————————————

The following day, you woke to the side Rafe occupied the night before, empty but still slightly warm; you blinked the sleep from your eyes a few times to see a sticky note on your vanity mirror; you hopped out of your bed, pulling it off, reading.

Angel Girl,

Leaving you in bed like this is nearly killing me, but Topper made me promise to golf with him. Meet at the Marina later. I’ll take you out. Thank you for last night, Angel. You are a dream.

- Reef ❤️

You smile, reading it, and hear a knock and your dad call through the door. “You decent?” you call back to him, hurrying for clothes. “one sec,” throwing on shorts and an old school shirt from last night and kicking your panties under your bed. “Come in.”

Your dad walks in smiling, carrying what seems to be some folder. “Hey, peanut, you don’t look ready.” you tilt your head questioningly, and he chuckles. “Remember we’re meeting Mr. Orien for golf; he wants to talk the deal over a game.” your eyes widen, and you shake your head, running off to the closet. “Yeah, sorry, slept badly. Be down in five.” your dad nods his head, leaving the room, saying, “Don’t rush too much. You’ll give yourself a heart attack,” and closes your door.

Then, 15 minutes later, you were in the car with your dad on your way to the Island Club for the business meeting; when you got there, you spotted Topper's truck, but you knew it was unlikely for you to see Rafe till later

Nearly half an hour later, in the middle of you and your dad golfing, you are on the third hole, and you tell your dad you want to walk to the main clubhouse and grab a soda; he shakes his head, knowing you weren’t the biggest fan of golfing.

On your walk back, you are thinking about Rafe and how you hadn’t felt like you did last night in a long time. It has been a year since kissing someone, still holding out for Luca. Something was different about Rafe; he reminds you of Luca so much in so many ways but is so mysterious in others.

You’re broken from your stupor when there is commotion by some voices ahead of you; suddenly, you hear a distinguishing voice: “Hey, Rafe, Calm Down, man.” Then clear as day, you heard him scream, “Stay down bitch” You walk as quick as you can toward their voices coming into view; you watch as Rafe slams a golf club right next to the ground by someone who looks familiar.

You stand watching him as he yells at the boy on the ground; your heart shatters watching the man who was so gentle with you the night before going as far as to leave you a note to wake up to hurting someone and being so vulgar. You watch him crouch over the boy, and Topper turns to see you, making you hurry into the bush so that he can’t catch you.

Rafe finally diffused slightly but still taunted the boy, Tooper looking back to where you were standing, eyes trailing to you, giving you a look of pity and fear. Your back goes straight against the tree as you hear them running off, and you round the corner to see the boy rolling on the ground, trying to get back up.

You rush, and as you get closer, you see Pope nearly tripping over the sand, and you drop on your knees next to him, hands ghosting over his body, saying, “Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry. What can I do ?”

He groans and says, “It’s not your fault, but help up would be much appreciated.” you stick your hand out and pull him up and help lightly brush the sand from his body

You look down and help pick up what he had. Pope is still standing. “I’m sorry, Pope, I can’t believe the—“ he grabs the things in your hand, turning while saying, “Just go (F/N); you don’t need to be seen with a Pouge.” he turns, walking. “Pope—wait.” you try and catch up to him. He is gone before you can even try to say anything else.

Hanging your head, you go back to your dad; when you reach him, he sees the look on your face, and when you sit in the golf cart, not moving or talking, he walks up asking.

“What’s up, Peanut?” you shake your head, eyes scanning the grass for the boy you saw who you thought you had all wrong.

Your mind is racing a million miles thinking about last night and how you felt so connected with him, and then seeing how he treated Pope shocked you. It made you second guess everything you thought.

Maybe Rafe was precisely the person they said. Perhaps you’d be another girl on the notch of his belt. Then you think of the note and the boneyard incident. You were broken in your thought when Dad nudged you, letting you know it was time to return the cart and go home.

————————————————————————

As your dad drove you home, you laid your head against the window, listening to the music he let you put on, ‘Logical’ by Olivia Rodrigo, playing slowly as you watched the leaves creating patterns from sunlight casting through the windows and on the ground.

You could see slightly past a line of trees, all the people at the beach, the sun shining down. All of them are smiling, and all you can do is trace your finger along the window's glass back and forth, trying to keep yourself from thinking nothing stopped the tidal waves of things hitting you from all sides.

You thought about everything with Rafe and how everything around him felt genuine and solid. You could tell Rafe was dangerous when you met him but not aggressive, and these thoughts scare you. There are so many complex parts of him, but to see him letting out his rage on someone who you know didn’t deserve it any sense not like that.

Then you think about your night together, how he touched and held you all night. He was so gentle; this wasn’t your Rafe, not the one you know at least, and you don’t understand why things with you are different.

As the chorus plays, you sing along, head resting now on the window, looking forward just staring off, ‘If rain don’t pour, and sun don’t shine, then changing you is possible. No, love is never logical.’

Your dad's eyes had been flicking from the road to you when he finally spoke up, watching you wince, making him break. “Honey, you know you can talk to Dad, right? Does this have to do with that Rafe boy?” you wince again. He gives you a sad look, pulling to a parking lot that looks out at the beach, leaving the car on but turning to grab your hands, making you look at him.

The second you make contact with your dad's soft brown eyes, your entire heart drops, and you sob, falling into your dad's arms. “I’m so stupid, Dad. I don’t know why I keep making these choices.” He holds you in his arms, running his hand down the back of your head.

“Honey, does this have anything to do with me seeing Rafe and Topper pretty disheveled leaving the sandbar walkway?” you shake your head, looking up at him. “It’s so much more. I am so confused.” he puts his hand on your cheek, brushing tears away. “My sweet, beautiful girl, if he knows how much you are worth like I do, which I think he does, he’ll show you it.” you shake your head. “That’s just it, Dad; he does; he’s perfect with me; it's not exactly that, but there is a whole other side he hides from me. I don’t know,” you finish looking down, shaking your head.

Your dad chuckles, which makes your head whip up “(F/N); sometimes people are afraid if you see a certain part of them, it will make you run; maybe he just doesn’t want what the people of this island say about him to shape who he truly is; he’s just a boy who’s learning let him come to you sweetheart he will I’m sure and whatever he’s done, be calm, don’t lie, tell him what you know and ask him; let him explain see his reason sometimes you don’t always fully know what’s happening within someone or around them” your dad wipes the rest of your tears and turning back to drive you home.

———————————————————————-

When you get home, you lay in bed with Rafe's note lying next to you on your bed right next to the ring Luca had given you; stare at both and think, what would Luca say and think? Would he hate you for your choices? You think about Jason, who’s always given you the best advice, feeling he’s so far; now this isn’t something you can get help with over the phone; you think about Pope and if he’s okay, hoping he is.

You think of Rafe.

————————————————————————

Across the island, in his room, he is getting ready to meet you at Marina and take you out. Finally, he wants to sit down and talk and know more about you; he puts on one of his nice button-downs and jeans and grabs his phone while running a hand through his hair, setting his phone on the counter as he clicks the call button.

My Angel ❤️

As the phone rings, Rafe brushes his teeth; it keeps ringing as he washes his mouth out until, finally, the call goes to voice mail. Rafe sets down his toothbrush and shoots you a text

Rafe🪸: Hey Angel girl, I’m about ready; when do you want to meet?

Rafe waited for nearly an hour before he got a response back from you that had him stirring with anxiety

My Angel ❤️: Not feeling well. Raincheck?

You’d never sent him such a short response; this immediately had him Facetiming you; this time, you answered, and you were in your bed; he smiled when he saw your face.

That all changed when he saw; it looked like you’d been crying, making him say, “Hey, sweet girl, what’s happening? Are you okay?” you stare at him, almost looking shocked that he asked, then you shake your head like you’re snapping yourself out something making Rafe frown and tilt his head. After you just stared at him, he quietly said, “Baby girl.”

This made you snap out of the wait, and finally, you said, “I’ve just been getting sick today. My stomach is killing me, and I think I should stay home.” Rafe looks at you worried, and you shake your head, starting to say, “I’ll be fin—“

Before you can finish, he says, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes; hang tight.” you were trying to say, “Rafe, no, wait—, “ but he was already off the phone, and you went to text him that he didn’t need to come that you just needed to rest and sleep only to see a message.

Rafe 🪸: Don’t even try to say no, Angel. I said I’d be there, so I will see you in 20 minutes, stopping by the store. See you soon

📍location shared

You stared at your phone for so long, knowing what you saw happen to Pope was uncalled for and unnecessary, but the feeling you have for him is something you can’t help; he already fills many voids you think have been gaping in you for so long.

You are lying on your bed holding the note from this morning to your chest, phone in the other hand, staring at the bit of the horizon; you can see bits of orange cast glow over the houses and grass. You don’t even notice until after you've sent it.

My Angel❤️: Okay, thanks, Reef; see you soon 🪸❤️

You hope you’re not setting yourself up for something you know will end in tragedy. Then you think of what Dad told you, ask him, be calm, let him explain. As you lay in your bed, that’s what you'll wait to do.

All rights belong to the owners of Netflix and the Outer Banks. I do not own any characters except OC characters. The fiction is simply for fun. All copyrights belong to the original owners.

[its-in-the-woods]

The Woman Who Couldn’t Die Part 3

master list

Part 1 , Part 2,

Pairing: The Ghoul/Cooper Howard x Original Character 

Alternative Universe where I make things up cause I can only research so much

Synopsis: His hands found their way to her hips, when was the last time he had looked at someone? Someone that he wasn’t trying to use, or kill. Her eyes roved over his, he kept waiting to see disgust or disinterest, instead her eyes just held his. A small smile played over her lips, as she glanced down

MINOR GET OUT. Rating/Warning: This is based on fallout expect Canon typical: Drug use, dEath, graphic viOlence, suggestions of SA, NonCon (not by the mc) suggestions of non con bodily harm, body horror, angst, hurt/comfort, death or people and animals, ptsd, drugs and alcohol use, addiction, slow build, angst with no comfort

Note: These will be spaced out as I am heavily editing and researching them. Each chapter will be 2-3+k words. Tags will be edited based on the chapter, please make sure you read them.

Also note that I will not be spoiling any of the reading. I will keep my tags relevant without spoiling what is happening in the story.

Jade didn't expect to feel suffocated as they entered into the settlement. The place was busy, people rushed back and forth, and there was an air of uncertainty. Mutters of raiders hanging around had the men at the gates asking a lot of questions. They were almost turned away until the Ghoul had fished out a handful of caps. The guard had taken a second before snatching them and letting them in. The place was the usual, several ramshackle buildings shoved together and surrounded by piles of trash that stood as walls. People gave them both the side eyes as they moved through the different kiosks and grifters. 

The Ghoul didn’t say much just moving off towards a ramshackle pharmacy, Jade sighed at that. Guessing that their deal was now done, dead raiders or not she had only paid him to get here. The movement of people made her skin itch, too many people, too many eyes, too much of everything. She pushed back that crawling feeling that was poking at her neck. If she was gonna lose it she needed to be somewhere private, outside town. For now, she just needed to get some new clothes that actually fit.  She saw a small shop with various clothes peeking out through some dust-covered windows, the place looked mostly empty which would be a good spot to try and clear her head. 

Her heart slowed as she made her way into the buildings going through the racks of pieced-together clothing. Hoping to find something that fits a little better than her current attire. Her stomach was still knotted from her breakdown in the woods. Kill or be killed, was how she had lived most of her life, but seeing the raider beg for his life just to end it, had snapped something in her. The raider couldn’t have been out of adolescence, just a kid really, they all were just kids. Trying to somehow survive in this world. She wondered if they would have even attacked them, but they would have. The Ghoul had several rounds in his shoulder to prove that, and the raider he had skewered as he jumped out of the bush would have cut her throat just the same. Going soft over the dead would help no one. She needed to keep pushing forward or she’d end up dead. 

The woman at the front was watching her closely, as she pulled out a shirt, a pair of cargo pants, and a heavier jacket. She had managed to grab a small amount of caps from the raiders. It won’t be enough but maybe a trade could be brokered. 

“How much for these?” Jade asked, undoing her bag and putting it at her feet. The woman at the front wore a scowl as she came up to the counter. 

“Eighty caps,” The woman chewed, her eyes looking Jade over. She was slim, like most folks, skin tanned by the never-ending sun, wearing a handmade dress. 

“Could I do thirty caps and trade you some chems?” Jade asked, pulling out a few of the chems she’d snagged off the raiders. 

The woman looked over the chems in front of her, eyes narrowing at the different bottles. Lips screwed up as she assessed each vial. She held them up to the skylight above her. 

“Where you get these?” The woman prodded, standing back and putting her hand under the counter. 

Jade backed up immediately, only grabbing her bag and putting it in front of her like a makeshift shield. Hand resting on her pistol behind the bag, she wasn’t the quickest draw but she wasn’t gonna let scrawny get her without a fight. 

“There were raiders outside the town, just took care of them. Scounged what I could, like anyone else,” She swallowed eyes looking at the vials of chems still on the counter. As the women twitched staring daggers at Jade. 

A familiar click sounded and Jade turned to see the Ghoul standing there with his gun pointed at the woman. His face was tight underneath the wide brim of his hat. His clothes fluttered around him as he stood there like something out of one of the old West novels Jade used to read. 

“The girl was just doin’ what we all doin’,” He said, moving around to grab the vials of chems off the counter. “You don’t like her deal, just say so.”

The woman moved slowly, putting both hands on the counter, her eyes wide as she watched the Ghoul move. Her hands shook slightly as she looked over the man. 

“Just had a lot of raiders around Ghoul. Don’t need my shop known for dealin’ with unsavory characters, such as yaself,'' She sputtered, “If the girl wants the clothes I will trade her what she offered.”

The Ghoul turned to Jade who had backed up even further, nodding his head at the women. The younger woman moved to drop the caps on the counter, turning to take the chems back from the Ghoul. She placed those down and grabbed the pieces of clothing.

“Thank you, for the trade,” Jade said briskly, turning to make sure the Ghoul was following her out of the building. His gun was still pointed at the cashier as he moved through the doorway, the way he moved was more cat-like. Fluid, quiet, and with ease. 

Outside the Ghoul grabs Jade’s shoulder and spins her around as she tries to move away. She stifled a squawk looking at his face, a hardened mask, eyes searching over her, was he looking to see if she was okay?

“Figured you’d have ditched me by now,” Jade said quickly, tucking her clothes into her bag and placing it back onto her back. Looking around to make sure no one else was gunning for them. A cold weight pressed against her stomach. 

The Ghoul sighed, turning away from her, “You’re welcome too, Pips-squeak.”

“I am going to go see if there is any work, maybe make enough to get a room,” The woman stated before walking towards the building with painted INN on the front. Underneath the awning was a board with several dozen sheets of paper pinned to it. 

Stopping, she was surprised to feel the Ghoul stop a few feet from her, “I can’t pay you anymore, the last of my caps were used for the clothes.”  The words felt bitter against her tongue, despite only knowing the man for three days, she had grown fond of him. They worked well together if the Raider incident was any indication, but she was certain that they’d be going their separate ways here.

“Ya, tryin’ to get rid of me, tiny?” The Ghoul chuckled, “Pretty sure you’d be radrat bait if I hadn’t walk’d in there.” 

“Just figured the contract was up,” She licked her lips, eyes scanning the flyers. Not much was actually sinking in, Jade had very little knowledge of how any of this worked. 

“Said ya wanted to be a bounty hunter.” The man said casually, Jade could see from the corner of her eye that he was staring at her. 

Jade turned, her hands tucking around the straps of her backpack as she looked at him. That prey feeling washed over her, “Yeah I did. What are you suggesting?”

The crooked smile came across his face, which made her stomach flutter, “Why not let me teach ya? Best bounty hunt’r around.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, moving slightly closer to him. “The best for now.” Trying to hold his eye contact and not let the fear and sudden arousal eat at her. 

He let out a short laugh, grabbing a flier off the wall. “Come on, got some roaches to kill.”

***

The Ghoul rests against a tree trying to wipe his face of the green guts from the radroach. Jade wasn't far from him flicking her hands of the viscous liquid. Stuff was everywhere and on everything, thicker than molasses on a cold day.  

They had traveled for a day to get to the farm, the farmer had been a bit too welcoming for his liking. Something about him was shifty, that and the fact there seemed to be no one else on the farm. That said he did give them half the caps before they even went to look for the roaches. It took an additional three days of searching to finally find the den, which ended up being much more than a den. It was a hive.

Both of them had run out of ammo, instead moving to machetes to cut and slaughter the never-ending swarm of beasts. Jade had got cut up several times. Nothing that stitches and stimpak won't fix, but it had made his heart clench to see the girl covered in both green and red blood. If she had died it would have made the whole thing much trickier, at least that’s what he told himself. They had managed to get all the way to the queen. A fat rotund thing that never stopped howling. Jade had climbed over the piles of dead bodies and decapitated the thing as Ghoul continued to fend off the last of the swarm. The woman had looked triumphant holding the things head in her hand, like some kind of warrior Queen.

Now out of the cave system, the Ghoul was unsuccessfully trying to get the slim off his face. It was becoming clear that some of the goop had gotten into his nose hole. It wasn’t the first time stuff had gotten up there, unfortunately he was fresh out of cotton swabs. 

“Fuck,” He growled, pulling his gloves off with his teeth and slapping them on the ground.

“What’s up?” Jade said coming over and plunking her bag down, the queen’s head strung up in a tree. Didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention to the thing, plus it was proof they’d done their job. 

The Ghoul felt around the edges of the cavity trying to figure out if he could dig the sludge out. Letting out a frustrated sigh, knowing his fingers would do more damage than good. He leaned forward and tried to shake it free but nothing came out.

“Do you have roach guts in your nose cavity?” The girl said, with a small chuckle as she diug around in her bag, and pulled out some cotton swabs.

He tried to wave her away, “It’ll come out on its own.” 

“Oh hush, and hold still,” She said, grabbing his chin to look at her. Her hands worked skillfully to remove his hat so she could see what she was doing. The fading daylight is just enough for her to see into his nose cavity. 

He froze, despite the number of scars she had. Her hands were soft, her grip on his chin firm as she tipped his head more to see what she was working with. He hadn’t been this close to her before, her eyes weren’t just brown. But brown with shots of green through them, her face mostly unmarred by the abuse she had suffered. Her hair slicked back into a ponytail full of roach guts. Her fingers worked quickly as she used the swab to scoop out some goop. He squirmed slightly, it was not painful but an uncomfortable feeling

“Shit, did that hurt?” Jade asked shifting so that she was nearly sitting in his lap.

The Ghoul just shook his head, he could feel how warm her body was. The way her thighs rested against his, her body almost pressing against his chest. His heart was pounding so loud he thought she’d be able to hear it. The Ghoul could hear her heart beating. Her hand loosened its grip on his chin and moved to rest on his shoulder.

“Almost got it, there is a little more, just hold on.” She whispered skillfully, grabbing another swab and inserting it carefully, he felt it brush inside his nose. Making him feel like he might sneeze for the first time since losing his nose. She pulled it out and flicked off the goop into the bush. She turned back and looked at him. 

He couldn’t help looking up at her, her features were so soft and delicate. His hands found their way to her hips, when was the last time he had looked at someone? Someone that he wasn’t trying to use, or kill. Her eyes roved over his, he kept waiting to see disgust or disinterest, instead her eyes just held his. A small smile played over her lips, as she glanced down at his lips. Leaning in to kiss him. 

His heart rate shot up as he felt her push her lips against his, mouth opening to lick across them. His hands gripped onto her hips as her hands gripped against his shoulders. Mind going bank as he pushed her off of him. He stood up, this was not happening, walking away from her.

“Wait. Stop” Jade shouted after him, but he kept moving forward away from her.

His mind was ablaze, he hadn’t kissed someone in years. A flash of a memory, the bombs dropping, holding Janey on Sugarfoot as they rode away. Her face as she screamed in the arms of soldiers dragged her away. Look on his wife’s smug face as they drove away. The moment he shot Sugarfoot because the animal was starving. His skin blistered in the neverending sun, and watching as his body changed, every time he got a cut or nick it would gnarl and twist. The look on a soldier's face when he came looking for help. The first taste of radaway, med-x, rad-x, and a laundry list of other drugs. The first time he had to kill someone just to eat. The first time he saw himself in a mirror, his nose sloughing off, skin a dirty meaty red. Begging for help and being shunned away. Called a monster, a creature, a zombie, a killer, a murderer. A Ghoul. He was a Ghoul. The word echoed around in his head like a bell chime.

His lungs were screaming and he dug around his duster pockets pulling out the inhaler. He pushed it into his mouth taking a shot back. His eyes rolled into his head as his brain went foggy before he collapsed onto the ground. His hands dug into the soil, the feel of soil under his fingertips. The sound of birds moving in the trees, bugs buzzing. He focuses on that, on the numbing sensation spreading from his lungs out. Coughing and spurting he pushed himself onto his feet, leaning heavily on a tree, mind finally quiet. He took two more puffs before the numbest finally stamped out the fire of the memories. 

***

Jade watched him stumble away, her ass in the dirt baffled at what had just transpired. It was just a kiss, and here he was acting like she had asked him to fuck her. She spat some bug guts that had fallen from her hair, out of her mouth. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, before pushing herself up and off the ground. They had spent over a week living out of each other's pockets, it wasn’t like he was a bad-looking man. He was better looking than ninety percent of the men around this hellhole. Just cause he was a Ghoul didn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to him. She sighed going over to his bags to find a needle and thread, she’d needed to at least try and stitch herself up. The one on her left wouldn’t be too bad, but the cut that went across her back would have to wait. 

She grumbled biting into a piece of stick as she sewed it up, her teeth clenching as the needle pulled in and out of her skin. Done, she grabbed a stimpak and jabbed it in with a small sigh as it numbed the pain. If the Ghoul ever came back she’d ask him to look at the other wounds. She cleaned the needle and tucked it back into his bag. 

Her mind wandered over the day, the week. The unavoidable haze that was before that. Stomach knotting as she looked around the empty forest. It was mostly blank, she remembered some stuff and saw some of the marks on her. Luckily the stimpaks and whatever else they fed her had kept her body mostly intact. Even the places below the belt, how that whole area was okay was beyond her. The memory of the first time she had let herself feel down there flooded in.

One night while they were looking for the roaches, she disappeared to go pee. Had taken a moment to actually feel around there, something she had been terrified to do since she had left the outpost. Expecting to find scaring, tears, and more damage, but there wasn’t much. There were dozens of scars on her thighs, ass cheeks, two scars that had actually slit down each side of her cheek. Even so, maybe one day she’d be able to enjoy that part of herself again. One day, but that wasn’t something she’d really been concerned about till tonight. 

Letting out a sigh she rubbed at the back of her neck where that tingling feeling still lay. That tingling feeling had spread and overwhelmed her when she had shot the Raider kid. It was always there, trauma, suppressed memories, things trying to crawl towards the surface. 

“No, Nope, we aren’t doing that Jade,” She said out loud to the forest, “We are here right now. We are okay. We are okay. Just killed a bunch of radroaches, and got enough caps to get a bed for the night. Ghoul will come back, no way he’d leave his bag here. The bag means more to him than anything. Also the hat, the bastard would melt without his hat.”

Jade takes a few deep breaths, bringing up good memories. Looking after the calves on the farm, bartending at the Lazy Susan, the way the forest sounded, killing radroaches. She imprints those memories at the forefront. Focusing her mind to push everything back into the hole it had popped itself out of. 

“Anything else doesn’t matter, we just keep going. We got this.” Jade says finally, shaking her arms and hands. Letting the feelings flow out of her like dust behind her. 

The sun had started to set, as much as she wanted to light a fire it would be too dangerous alone. Grabbing her jacket she slipped it on, the cut on her back stung, she’d have to deal with that later. Instead, she gathered up their things and moved herself more central to the clearing. She also took a moment to cut down the head of the Queen. Grabbing some rope and tying it to the bag for easy pickup. 

Briefly wondered if she should try to climb a tree to camp out overnight. Most of the trees around her were too small or didn’t have low enough branches to climb. The center of the clearing would be safest, and hopefully. the Ghoul would be back soon. Asshole anyway, Jade felt resentment at the fact she had let herself rely on him. Even with his gruff lone wolf bullshit attitude, something under that hard shell had made her feel safe.

As if he had heard her, the man sauntered through the forest, his marred features evident in the rising moon. He walked right up to her without a word snatching his hat off the bags and tipping it back onto his smooth head. He didn’t say a word, as he re-gloved his fingers and shouldered the bag. Before starting to walk off in the direction of the farm.

Jade huffed but packed up, and followed after him. Muttering to herself about him being a giant dickhead, she struggled to keep up with his pace. Her body ached from the various wounds that rub as she moved.

part four

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