#it will bury me eventually
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I don't know how to talk about how I truly feel, to loved ones or professionals, or even myself; and I don't know how to tell the people I love how I feel about them.
And I think one day it will be the end of me.
#perhaps not literally#though one never knows#what was it the Surgeon General said recently?#loneliness is a health hazard on par with smoking#I don't know how to have meaningful conversations either#it's like I'm alone in a warehouse#and the lights are slowly being turned off#some dim slowly#some go straight to black#some flicker‚ some brighten for a bit#but in the end they keep going dark#and I am in a smaller and smaller pool of light#and someday that will go out too#this social anxiety; this lack of confidence; this negative self-concept...#it will bury me eventually#and I have no faith in myself to do anything about it#free floating anxiety
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"You've seen his eyes through the visor and the bottom half of his face" Sheeeeeppp! My brain didn't come with a darn graphics card (I have aphantasia) so I won't know what the pretty man looks like until the day you face reveal him help. The bit is hilarious though and I respect that cup of tea even as I resnt it lmao
NAUUU no it’s okay I get you, I don’t have aphantasia but I definitely wouldn’t be able to put a solid image of his face together if I were yall either LMAO dw jokes aside you will see his face one day
#Okay time to bury myself in a hole while I write up the part 2 post. I don’t have a clever caption in mind so the entire hour it takes me w#Will probably be spent doing that DFJBDJFGNN /j#Dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc xisuma#Dbhc#Really tempted to have his face reveal be when I inevitably draw the moment doc accidentally sees his face but I haven’t decided yet =w=#Puzzle Pieces you WILL be the bane of my existence. One day I’ll get you#The bit IS hilarious it’s so stupid but it’s so fun LMAOOO#Y’all gotta see his face eventually though. That thang is important
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oh shit dog!!!! four!!!!!
#yeah i just slapped a second party hat on the benry i did for the 3rd anniversary#i have no juice to make anything better oops#hlvrai#benry#benrey#hlvrai anniversary#eventually he'll just be buried under an entire pile of party hats#also yes In Sound Mind may have grabbed me by the fuckin' throat right now but i still love the half life funnie guys
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Dragons art I made during June
#This was a hyperfixation that I buried for a while and that eventually made its way back to me.#Dragons desing#Dragons art#dragon art#creature design#wyvern#My art#My Artwork
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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<<< previous . beginning
october november 29 (lol) - crack
heeeeeeeey everyone, i am not dead and neither is this comic!
i got a little stuck trying to figure out how to handle chris draining the aqua ring. i definitely do not want to just… draw a panel by panel recreation of an re puzzle. no thanks 🤣. but it felt like maybe skipping a little too much to not mention it at all.
we shoooooould be timeskipping next time tho. chris has made his intentions clear so hopefully it will be less jarring when i just… go there.
i am going to be so happy once these sharks are dealt with you guys don’t even know.
also I am so relieved to get something posted this month.
#my fanart#leon kennedy#resident evil#chris redfield#october art challenge - now in november!#traditional media - ink#ink#mermaid au#i have an idea where I want to pause this au but we aint there yet#watch me carry this all the way to mermay#planning to make a little update post later about my plans for the next month#probably do that tomorrow so i don’t bury my own post tho 🤣#anyway chris has seen leon talking at the surface#he’s making the gamble that leon is going to be okay - or at least be able to breathe - if he drains the water#he doesn’t really have any other options to help#also he’d himself like to keep breathing#eventually chreon
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who is your favorite oc
out of my most recent ones, meringue's definitely up there. out of everyone in the overdrive cast, she's the one i had the most fun designing from start to finish. personality wise she's also a bit of a far cry from the characters i typically make, but i think that's ultimately a good thing. this girl could kill me and i'd thank her.
i wish i could go into the specifics of why she's my favorite, but it's overdrive spoilers so you guys'll just have to wait :p
out of All of my OCs though? definitely this guy here. i cooked up cicero during the height of the pandemic and he's been occupying my brain like a parasite ever since. technically he's a DnD character i've been keeping on hand in case i ever end up being a player in another campaign someday, but i like tossing that guy into situations on my own. just for fun.
you can read his full lore doc here, if you want :)
#hi fi rush#hi fi rush oc#ocs#dnd oc#fun trivia in the tags time woooo#meringue's two biggest inspirations were maki itoh (the wrestler) and babymetal (the band)#her voiceclaim is W from arknights :] i have a full vc video somewhere buried in my pc files i'll prob post it someday if i remember to#cicero was based directly off of scp-3001 (red reality). cw for derealization but its one of my favorite horror pieces on the internet#someone did an audio drama adaptation of it a while back and its genuinely fantastic. i should relisten to it actually#took me a looooong time to find a voiceclaim for this guy but i eventually settled on clive ffxvi (ben starr)#skip responds
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I always wanted to die clean and pretty, but I'd be too busy on working days.
So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted-
I couldn't have changed anyway.
See pinned for commissions
#mitski#last words of a shooting star#bury me at makeout creek#lyric art#mitski miyawaki#song lyrics#airplane#aeroplane#plane#aircraft#indie music#nebulaeyedart#something a little different maybe#that song devastates me ngl#fantasticly tragic i love it#tw: aircraft accident#just incase#also back to that effect again can you tell im kind of preoccupied with it#im determined to crack it eventually
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Immersive gaming experiences my beloved
#risk of rain#risk of rain returns#one thing RoRR and to a degree RoR have that RoR2 doesnt is pain#You can really see when something gets hurt#this was drawn in the middle of my first RoRR run along with several other pages#i paused the game whenever i felt i needed to preserve something#this and the mushroom level made me feel strongly#ill colour the rest and share them here eventually#for now theyre buried on the discord
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I shelve books; I make out library cards for new patrons; I turn off the microfilm readers careless users sometimes leave on; I joke with Carole Danner about how much I would like to go to bed with her, and she jokes back about how much she'd like to go to bed with me, and both of us know that she's really joking and I'm really not, just as both of us know that she won't stay in a little place like Derry for long and I will be here until I die, taping torn pages in Business Week, sitting down at monthly acquisition meetings with my pipe in one hand and a stack of Library Journals in the other...and waking in the middle of the night with my fists jammed against my mouth to keep in the screams.
Derry: The First Interlude
Sometimes, as when he had been trailing his fingers over the slightly pebbled surface of the stand in which the Memorial Park birdbath was set, or when he had squatted down to look more closely at the trolley tracks which grooved Mont Street in the Old Cape, he would be struck by a profound sense of time... time as something real, as something that had unseen weight, the way sunlight was supposed to have weight (some of the kids in school had laughed when Mrs. Greenguss told them that, but Mike had been too stunned by the concept to laugh; his first thought had been, Light has weight? Oh my Lord, that's terrible!)...time as something that would eventually bury him.
Chapter 6, One of the Missing: A Tale from the Summer of '58
I'm almost done with this diary now—and I suppose a diary is all that it will ever be, and that the story of Derry's old scandals and eccentricities has no place outside these pages. That's fine with me; I think that, when they let me out of here tomorrow, it might finally be time to start thinking about some sort of new life... although just what that might be is unclear to me. I loved you guys, you know. I loved you so much.
Derry: The Last Interlude
#it speaks!#clowntown 4#im far from the last interlude in my reread but i made an exception to my rule of not reading ahead for this post specifically#bc like. MIKE. TIME AS SOMETHING THAT WOULD EVENTUALLY BURY HIM. UNTIL THE MOSS HAD REACHED OUR LIPS AND COVERED UP OUR NAMES!#from age twelve onward i was like its just me and mike hanlon against the world. and i was literally right.#it 1986#mike hanlon
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did you have any previous hyperfixations before thond?
Hey thanks for the ask :)
As for the answer, aw man I'm gonna expose myself with this one
Oh, and if you're hoping to find stuff similar to thond, sorry but all my previous interests share little to no similarities, I just go with whatever floods my brain with dopamine 💧
(under the cut because I got a little wordy)
Right before thond my main interest revolved around DC comics, mostly Batman/Joker stories (yes I'm a filthy batjokes shipper). I especially loved Alan Moore's "The Killing Joke" and "Watchmen", two of the best comics I've ever read for different reasons, both highly recommended.
Prior to that I was in the "Lupin the third" fandom for a rather long time, which if you don't know it's a manga/anime about a funky thief who...steals? That's pretty much it, but the characters are so charming ✨
Was also obsessed for a while with the manga "Hajime no Ippo", mostly because of this ugly emo fucker (name's Mashiba Ryo and he's as bastard as he looks).
Other than that I only cared about the thing because it's a boxing manga, so half-naked sweaty men beating each other senseless, what's more to ask for?
Some other of my fixs included some minor characters of bigger fandoms that quickly died off because I just couldn't find enough content about them 🥲
(Also had a small "summer" thing for the novel Frankenstein; reading the creature's description got me thinking "daaamn why he kinda my type? 😳") *cough cough*
Anyway, thond is probably the fixation that has got me the most productive. I can't recall a fandom for which I produced this much content...and it's all because of a bigot racist old man's fault, don't know what that says about me 🫠
Oh and I also had an undertale and fnaf period...but we don't talk about those confusing dark times 💀
#remembered some stuff I buried deep within me while writing this#man did I really like that stuff? *will have the same thoughts about thond in about 2 months*#jk I hope thond and frollo never leave my freaky little brain#salemspeaks#ask box#sorry for any eventual grammar mistakes
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Please share some fav frelma moments or headcanons? The fandom is so quiet ahaha
Sure!
Canon from the books trilogy (spoilers duh) (shot out to my friend Clei for getting me the books)
1) When Daphne makes Velma accidentally admit she has a crush on Fred and her reaction is just 'Damn Velma I didn't know you were so traditional'
2) When they dance together in Shaggy's house in the second book
3) Fred shamelessly flirting by touching her hair at school and Velms' almost heart attack.
4) Really, Velma's pining in the books is delicious.
5) The almost kiss in the third book.
6) When Fred almost dies in that fire and Velma just starts to cry out of pure relief when she sees him alive
7) Fred telling the journalists next thing he's doing is asking 'the girl he likes' out when he leaves hospital.
8) Their last scene together at the end. Which lives rent free on my head. I even wrote a little continuation/expansion of that scene in a drabble.
(Overall, the books aren't perfect. The focus is Daphne and Velma's friendship and that means too little focus on Shaggy and Freddie. But it was absolutely worth it. It was like the best Frelma fanfic but actually canon in its verse. Clinging to those books forever)
Honorific mentions of other versions: the "DORKY CHICKS LIKE YOU TURN ME ON TOO" line in the live action (lmfao) (Linda Cardellini and Freddie Prinze's chemistry was awesome), Fred going all the way to show her he appreciates everything she does in Be Cool Scooby Doo, and their scenes together in The Mystery Begins. Also every moment they share the screen in 'Mystery Incorporated: Welcome to Coolsville'. That version of the characters was the best one in recent years.
..
Headcanons now:
1) Has anyone watched that animated short horror video parodying the totally awful Velma show? The one with eldritch monster Scooby? Yeah they're together the next time Scooby reboots reality. Both of them are aware of what's going on and try to scape the time loop (confusing if you don't know the story of the video 'Velma Meets The Original Velma' on YouTube, plz watch it)
2) Moving on to greener grasses, eventually they have twin boys, Ricky and Roger (named after Fred and Shaggy). Obviously Daphne and Shaggy are the godparents.
3) Shaggy let's them adopt 3 puppies from the Doo family years in the future.
4) Scrappy lived with them for some time. Velma was the only one who could boss him around. Fred spoiled him.
5) Velma sends him food to his work out of nowhere because sometimes she's sure he's forgotten to eat. He does the same plus flowers. Both of them are right: they forget to have dinner. Shaggy never shuts up about it.
6) (I usually go with Archeologist!Fred and Astronomer!Velms. They travel a lot) (The kids are homeschooled until they can leave for a boarding school)
7) Ricky and Roger are mama boys
8) Fred does the taxes. Velms always forgets.
9) Shaggy is a chef (duh) and Daphne a private detective and they're never too far away. Their kid is a little older than the twins but they hang out a lot. Sometimes Velma refers to Daphne as 'her sister' so the boys don't figure out Daphne isn't their 'actual aunt' until they're older.
10) Velma has a photo of him on her wallet. Fred is the little spoon.
#Pfff I'm always on my frelma train#All I need is a little push and I'll write endlessly about those dorks#Also watch Welcome To Coolsville they're everything there#And read the books they're totally worth it#Frelmas fandom is small but dedicated and my favorite place#Eventually I always come back to Scooby Doo#Bury me with the Frelma books in the coffin#I also ship the other 3 combinations but Frelma was the first one so it has a special place#scooby doo#Daphne and velma trilogy#Daphne and velma the Vanishing Girl#Daphne and Velma Dark Deception#Daphne and Velma Buried Secrets#I'll always thank C for getting me the last book#Frelma#velma dinkley#fred jones#shaphne
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thinking about them and banging my head against the wall again whats new. they are making me so emo. god. what the fuck
#ann plays fates#theyre like all i can think about rn#its that time of the year#i mean i think about them both constantly separately but its always when september comes#do i get hit with the laslow/nyx rarepair brainrot i think#that just lasts through fall and winter#not that im complaining. i think eventually i will have posted the entire fucking conversation#i cant help it. each part gives me a segment of dialogue to be ill about#i have ‘but with burdens so heavy dont you think we can lean on eachother a bit?’ on my wall#ROMANCE. TO ME (girl who is aroace)#also underrated thing about them i like how nyx flirts back#its more prevalent in their A support but shes so fun with him even beyond the bonding over traumatic pasts#i think with laslow he does a lot of flirting right bc hes laslow but a lot of the time its like#no ones matching his energy#i was gonna say match his freak but i dont think he has any freak if im so real with u#if he does its buried beneath five metric tons of shame and embarrassment#and i like how his… laslow-ness kinda gives nyx space to let loose if that makes sense#like he can match her maturity because he. you know. all of that#but hes still young and so she can find a little bit of reprieve from it all in his attitude and blah blah blah#if that makes sense#they r just so perfect. TO ME#ive only ever written and posted one thing for them but i have like five million (like six) things in my drafts i need to get back#into writing. rarepair hell gotta feed myself#also that was like two years ago it kinda sucks a bit but thats fine its called growth#i just miss them. i dont really have the brainpower to play fates but i have enough to think about them#i mean i played a little but ive mostly just been doing dumb shit with the class system and not rly playing the game#we’ll get to it#im supposed to be sleeping
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Callback to when I was in school and the internet there was just really, really bad
(shout out to all the schools out there who attempted to block out all internet and cell service in the halls in an attempt to keep students off their damn phones, but only succeeded in tossing out a very very large and messy net of dead zones across the entire building)
And so every single day on the bus going to school I would be frantically "select all"-ing copy pasting fics off of ff.net, chapter by painful chapter bc there was no "show all chapter" button to use, into my Google docs so I could read them in school without fear of the page reloading and my precious stories being lost
#extra loud shout out to my girlies who memorized all the little corners in school that still had internet#my favorite was this one very specific corner right outside the choir room#but the “spot” was actually more directly IN the wall than out of it#so you just had to lean in reeeallly close#and also hope and pray#i ended up having to skip class once bc I was having a really serious talk w one of my struggling friends online#and knew the class had no internet#so I was like#yeah ok fuck it#time for the choir hall corner#i got caught tho but the choir teacher covered for me#thank u choir teacher#im p sure I still have one or three of those docs buried somewhere#eventually I learned u can just straight up download fics tho thats what I do now#that and like. yk. keeping the page open.#birds rambles#fanfiction#ao3#fanfic#fanfic.net#archive of our own
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i’m home !!
procedure went real well, everything was really smooth and almost as soon as they said, “you can count backwards if you want,” i don’t think i even said ten before i was suddenly in recovery and sipping some ginger ale.
honestly the worst part was the iv because they had to do it on the side of my wrist because apparently my veins are crooked ?? i just hate ivs anyway so that’s no surprise but other than that no complaints.
everyone was real nice and made sure i was well taken care of (my nurse even had me pee one more time before so she wouldn’t have to do a catheter which with my history…..thank you)
but yeah, i’ll have a follow up in about a month just to make sure everything’s good and the iud is doing its thing !!
i do have some cramping and bleeding but that’s normal, although a little funny because i literally just stopped my period yesterday but…oh well !! hopefully in a few months i won’t have hardly any so this we can handle and i hace some medicine (and my ~medicine) that’ll help so i’m all set.
mom had to go run some errands so my little recovery buddy is keeping me company. also, a moment of recognition for my new favorite shirt (thank you as always, Boss Dog Art; i’ve already got my eye on another one that says, “i think therefore i am against transphobia around the world” or something like that and it’s got a cool skeleton on it; this is my third shirt from them and they’re really comfy and good quality so not sponsored but check them out, they seem cool):
#It’s been a rough week leading up to this i’m not gonna lie#one of my neighbors was shooting on Sunday when i was in the pool#which i’m used to at this point#but for some reason i got triggered into a panic attack#and could not catch my breath#could not calm down for several minutes just scream crying#had to dunk my head underwater a few times and splash myself in the face#eventually i just buried my face in my towel and screamed cried until i physically had to stop#because i thought i was about to have a heart attack#so that wasn’t so chill#spent the rest of the day shaking#guess you just never know when it’s gonna hit!!#another plane has hit the ptsd towers#sorry#not for nothing though but the shooting stopped so there’s that#they probably thought someone had a fuckin’ ari aster movie turned up over here#nope just a mentally unstable bitch doing her best which clearly isn’t great but what can ya do!!#it was kinda funny though because i’ve been hesitant to go back out there since#but finally yesterday i had even worked longer the day before so i could really enjoy it#it had been sunny all day#no signs of rain#i’m ready to get some exercise in because i knew it might be a while#before i can again so i was really looking forward to a nice 30 minute run#damned if it didn’t start raining as soon as i got out there#and that was fine#i still ran a little got my water weights in#but the kicker was i looked at the weather on my phone and it looked like it was going to keep raining#so i said okay let me just go take a shower and settle in for the night#it didn’t rain and the sun came back out so oh well!#but point is…today went well and i’m doing okay and things could always be worse so no worries <3
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When it comes to Donkario (is that the ship name??) who do you think fell first? Just curious about your opinion
I use Mariokong, but I'm pretty sure we as a society just use whatever feels right in the moment
Anyway, it's 100% Donkey Kong.
From the first time they met he's been impressed by Mario, from his fighting spirit to his determination to save his brother
The problem: he's never simped so hard so he has no idea what to do
Usually when he has a little crush, he's not sure what to do about it and his typical strategy is to act aggressive toward the other person
(His people are often wooed by overly aggressive behavior anyway)
So he starts off acting aggressive towards Mario
And it is not working
Mario is playing along with his aggressive attitude, but he actually seems kinda pissed off
(The "your dad was right" thing should've been a pretty great attempt at flirting on DK's part but it was somehow not well received)
Donkey Kong wonders if this is maybe how humans flirt, but pretty soon realizes that Mario is actually mad at him
This just causes him to be a little confused, and honestly, a little more aggressive
He's only extra aggressive for like 2 days before he realizes that this idea is even worse
At this point, DK has realized just how hard he's fallen and is now panicking because he really doesn't want to blow this but he's already failing so hard
Cue him asking Luigi what he should do
DK: Please help me, I really want you're brother to like me but I think he actually hates me
Luigi: Can you blame him? You insult him a lot
DK: I thought I was being affectionate!
Luigi: Have you tried being nice? Like, at all?
DK: ......
So he switched tactics, and is now super nice
Compliments, flowers, the whole thing
Mario is confused to say the least
But he's glad that his crush finally seems to like him
#dk eventually asks him out#and mario says yes#but then asks how long he's liked him#and dk says it's been since the beginning#and mario doesn't believe him#“but i thought you hated me”#and dk just has to bury his head in his hands in shame#mario x donkey kong#mario x dk#dk x mario#mariokong#mario movie#super mario bros movie
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