#Okay time to bury myself in a hole while I write up the part 2 post. I don’t have a clever caption in mind so the entire hour it takes me w

[shepscapades]

"You've seen his eyes through the visor and the bottom half of his face" Sheeeeeppp! My brain didn't come with a darn graphics card (I have aphantasia) so I won't know what the pretty man looks like until the day you face reveal him help. The bit is hilarious though and I respect that cup of tea even as I resnt it lmao

NAUUU no it’s okay I get you, I don’t have aphantasia but I definitely wouldn’t be able to put a solid image of his face together if I were yall either LMAO dw jokes aside you will see his face one day

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 18 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Reader finds more productive ways to spend her time, including babysitting Henry and volunteering at the local inpatient hospitals.

A/N: That’s my gif so please give credit if you use it 🤗 Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader 
 Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Oral (female receiving), addiction, relapse, discussions of death/murder, unsub talk, hospitals, inpatient ward Word Count: 13K

MASTERLIST

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The next morning felt strangely similar to the morning of the day we’d gone to the bank. . Waking up in Spencer’s bed and smelling the unmistakable, comforting scent of old book pages and stale coffee. I’d told him when I first came to his place that it reminded me of a library, but it was more like that quiet local hole-in-the-wall bookshop.

It almost felt like that morning, but there was one glaring difference: Spencer wasn’t in the bed.

When I sat up to try and locate him, I was reminded that there are consequences to my actions. My stomach hurt like shit, and I swore I blacked out for a second from the pain. It would pass, though. Considering I had gotten through the night without waking, it clearly wasn’t that bad.

I thankfully managed to get out of bed myself and take the pain medication I kept in my purse. And armed with the knowledge that the pain would subside within the next half hour, I hobbled toward the distant sounds of… vomiting.

Not even bothering to stop yet, I made my way to the kitchen to grab the poor guy a glass of water. It was the least I could do for his comfort considering that I was about to make his headache much, much worse.

Peeking my head through the open door, I frowned at the sight of my boyfriend half asleep on the toilet.

“Hey old man. I brought you some water.”  

Finally looking up, not having noticed me until I spoke, Spencer groaned as he backed up to lean against the wall instead of the dirty porcelain. “God, when did I get this old?”

“Hmm. I’m guessing sometime in the past 30 years.” I hummed, joining him on the cold tile floor. The two of us just rested there, his hand reaching out to take mine with a solemn smile.

“You’re cute.” He mumbled.

“I know, thanks.” I joked back, knowing that I really looked like a whole mess, with my hair desperately needing to be brushed. He never seemed to mind, though. I was glad for the lighthearted domesticity of the moment, because I knew I was about to shatter it like a brick through glass.

Softening my features as much as possible with the anxiety coursing through my veins, I squeezed his hand before finally whispering, “You know your age isn’t the only reason you’re sick though, right?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He snapped back with about as much hostility as I was expecting. He ran a frustrated hand over his face, his breathing picking up almost immediately as he tried to calm himself down.

“I know you’re just trying to do what you’re supposed to, but please…” The waver in his voice broke my heart and turned my stomach to knots. With more force, he held his hand in the air and continued to stare straight ahead. “Just... don’t. I’ll call my sponsor.”

I tried to keep my voice quiet and nonthreatening as I pushed, but I knew that it wasn’t going to make much of a difference either way.

“We have to talk about it, too, Spencer.”

“No, we really don’t.”

“You’re going to get your chip taken away,” my voice broke in half as the word fell from my mouth, “I know that that’s important to you. We can’t ignore it.”

Speaking faster, our urgent pleas overlapped to create a small cacophony booming through the acoustics of the bathroom. “(Y/n), seriously, stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A silence fell between us, and I let it sit there for a minute. I wouldn’t get anywhere with him if he was defensive, and that’s exactly what he was at the moment. But I wasn’t trying to chastise him; I’m not his mother, I’m just his worried girlfriend. I loved him and I knew something was wrong, and I just wanted to help.

I didn’t know how. The men I loved never made it far enough for me to be able to help.

“You didn’t even tell me you were coming home. We need to talk about that, at least.” I offered the narrowed scope, hoping that he would take it without any more of a fight.

He didn’t. Instead, he took back his hand and turned it to a fist in his lap. That time it was my breathing that became unsteady, and I tried to touch him, but he recoiled when I came too close.

“You didn’t seem to mind me being drunk last night.”

Although I knew it was coming, the words hurt just the same. I resisted the urge to mirror his actions. I wasn’t angry. I wouldn’t be angry, because that’s what he wanted. If I reacted that way, he could write off my responses.

“I’m not going to agitate you or shame you when the damage is already done, Spencer.” I said as confidently as I could, “I knew you needed affection and you weren’t going to ask for it yourself.”

He finally looked at me again, and in doing so, realized he was making a mistake. The anger melted from his face within seconds, being replaced with overt sadness and guilt. “I could have hurt you.” He whispered through the tears that started to fall.

“But you didn’t.” I said with a gentle smile, reaching over to wipe the saltwater from his cheek. “That’s not a very good excuse anymore.”

“It’s always a good explanation.” He clarified, chewing on his bottom lip. His hands released from their tense state.

My fingers couldn’t move fast enough to clear his tears, but he brought his own hands up to rub the tired eyes. I used the freedom to run my hands through his hair, pulling him closer to me.

Resting his head against my shoulder, he let out a deep, shaky breath. I continued slow, soft strokes along his arm, listening to the rhythm of his breath slowly recalibrate. Once I was satisfied with the pattern, I tried again.

“What happened on the case, Spencer?”

The tension returned, but subsided quicker than it had before. He took a deep breath and spoke through the exhale, trying to rid himself of the thought as he said it.

“We had to kill someone.”

My movements paused for a second before I reminded myself to continue, but my confusion remained. “I understand trauma is complicated but… You guys have to do that pretty often.”

Spencer wasn’t the kind of person who liked to share his thoughts. I knew as much; even his coworkers hadn’t seen the parts of him that I’d seen. There was no way for me to know if I knew them all, but I figured that I didn’t. I was almost certain there was a side of Spencer Reid that even I didn’t know. The only reason I didn’t try to figure it out was because I knew he liked it better that way. He designed his heart that way for a reason, and I wasn’t going to try and pry it out of him.

But he was scaring me. He almost never talked about his job, which didn’t bother me when it was obvious that he didn’t bring it home with him. Him getting drunk and defensive, though, were very different circumstances than the usual.

Understanding that there was no other way out of this, he continued to talk, hushed and slow. “I was alone with the guy, and I had the opportunity to kill him, but I didn’t. I didn’t kill him, even though I really wanted to.”

‘I really wanted to.’ The words stuck out in my head, no matter how quickly he tried to bury them.

“But after Hotch showed up, he had to do it. We didn’t have a choice anymore.” His arms crossed over his chest, but he pressed himself harder against me in a strange, contradictory stance.

I couldn’t respond to the most important part of his confession just yet; I knew the story wasn’t over. Like I’d told him, trauma and grief are complicated; however, there was something else he needed to admit before I could address the part of his admission he seemed most affected by.. “Spencer, that’s okay. That’s not your fault.” I reassured, trying to coax his arms away from his chest. I’m no profiler, but I felt like if he stopped trying to build walls, things might be easier. I could at least try to break down the ones that were tangible.

“I’m not worried about it being my fault. I’m worried about how… angry I am.” He said in defeat, dropping his arms back to his lap. He still didn’t want to touch me, it seemed. Like the same hands that had wielded a gun against a man were too tainted to share.

“I’m angry because… I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to suffer for hurting innocent people and —“ He covered his mouth, and I think the motion surprised himself.

I couldn’t help but feel partially responsible, no matter how illogical I knew that was. It felt like yet another morning was being taken away from us by what had happened before. I didn’t want to think about it; I didn’t want it to torture Spencer the way it did me. It was wishful thinking, and the stupid kind, at that.

Spencer would always blame himself and care too much. While he was always trying to work on the former, I hoped that the world would let him keep the latter. His compassion was one of the many reasons I fell in love with him. The thought of losing the man who felt the need to confess to me that he’d lied about checking me out in a crowded club invoked a sadness I never wanted to experience.

Although, the prospect of that loss paled in comparison to the acute sorrow I was feeling right then, holding Spencer while he failed to hold back tears, choking on his words. “I didn’t do it, and then he almost hurt someone else.” He said, his voice growing more frantic as he broke from my hold, grabbing his hair and pulling it like it would do something to stop the thoughts.

“And I’m angry that I wasn’t the one who got to do it. I wasn’t the person who got to kill him.” He spat, rocking forward as I tried to wrap my arms around him again. He didn’t let me, putting an arm out to hold me away from him. Still, he looked at me when he forced himself to say the conclusion that I’d reached the second he told me he had wanted to kill someone.

“I’m angry that I didn’t kill someone, (y/n).”

There were so many things I wanted to say to him that my mind literally couldn’t pick any of them. All I could do was stare at the man I loved, stopping me from doing the only thing I wanted to do. I just wanted to hold him; to remind him that I would love him no matter what. Just like we always did, I wanted my body to express the things that my mouth wouldn’t articulate.

But apparently, I was capable of doing that without even touching him. Because the longer we sat in silence, the more his enraged grimace warped to a frown. “Please, don’t look at me like that.” He begged, unable to take his eyes off of mine. I wondered if he could hear my thoughts, because before I even spoke, he pulled his arm back. “Don’t look at me like I deserve sympathy for that.”

Ignoring the pesky numbness forming in my lower half at the awkward position on the unforgiving tile floor, I thanked the lord that I was finally getting some relief from the narcotics, which allowed me to climb on Spencer’s lap. He’d finally ceased his valiant efforts to keep me away from him, accepting me with his hands on my hips.

When I tried to kiss him, however, he turned his face away with a sharp inhale. Careful not to use too much force, I use a tender hand on his cheek to lead him back to me. His eyes bounced between my lips and eyes, almost like he was asking me to try again.

“I’m not going to pretend you’re a monster to make you feel better, Spencer.” I whispered, attempting to infuse the words with everything I felt.

Whether it worked or not, I could never be sure, but Spencer’s small smile sneaking over his cheek was enough for me. “I’m pretty sure it’d make me feel worse.” He croaked, laughing as he bit his tongue to stop any other jokes from slipping out. Like he was betraying the pain by letting it go.

“Well I’m not going to do that, either.” I returned with a laugh. Then, satisfied that he would accept my affections, I closed the gap between us. The kiss was so soft I could almost question whether our lips touched. But his hands slid over my lower back, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me against him.

Eventually, it became obvious just how tired the both of us were. With a quiet thanks, he rested his face on my shoulder, enjoying the calm after the storm of his feelings that he’d finally released.

“Can you come back to bed?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He mumbled, holding tighter for a second before he started to help ease me off his lap. “Let’s go, little girl.”

The return to my nickname made me happier than I’d like to admit. At this point, the use of my real name was like a litmus test for his anxiety. And although I could feel Spencer slowly opening back up to me, he still felt so far away when we crawled under the covers.

Turning on my side to face him, I saw something in his eyes that alerted me to just how deeply rooted this problem was. It wasn’t just the event we’d discussed; it was the knowledge that there would be many more like it in the future.

I wondered what Spencer saw when he looked at me. Did he see me like I was in that moment, or was I always going to look like I had before, choking on blood and a confession I wish I could have made more beautiful? Did he see me at all? Or did he just see all the mistakes he’d made? Would all our moments together be marred by the overwhelming tragedy of a single one? More than anything, I just hoped that he didn’t see the faces of the people who had caused us to be in that horrible tableau. I needed Spencer to see beautiful things when he looked at me, because I needed to see them in his eyes. If something so ugly was the biggest thing between us, our relationship would fray with time, each of us unable to truly see the other.

“You’re the best man I’ve ever known.” I said into the silent early morning air of his apartment.

As expected, Spencer’s precarious smile broke almost immediately, replaced with violent sobs and an attempt to hide his face from me by burying it in my chest. I let him, wrapping my arms around his head in the hope that I could act like a shield for the world that never let him rest.

“I’ll love you forever,” I let my voice break, but I didn’t let that stop me. “And nothing will ever change that.”

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One of the things people never warn you about when you’re dating a bona fide genius is that there is no such thing as a surprise. It was like every time I came up with an idea, Spencer could see it on my face within seconds. I was never really sure how he did it, although he usually had the decency to wait until a normal person would have figured it out to say something. For example, when we were about three streets away from his best friend’s house.

“Why are we going to JJ’s house?” He finally asked, turning to me with a confused but excited expression that almost hid the residual negative feelings that insisted on sticking around a week later.

I glanced over at him, laughing at the way his fingers bounced on his lap. He never was subtle with his emotions. “I may or may not have offered us up as babysitters so she and Will could have a much needed date night.”

From the way his shoulders dropped, I could tell it wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. Still, it didn’t seem like he was disappointed— he was simply trying to read my motivations that were seemingly counter-intuitive.

“Really? Isn’t that gonna be a lot for you?” The concern was evident in his voice, which I found both endearing and a little annoying. It wasn’t this fault, really. I was just so freaking tired of not being able to do basically anything I wanted to. Especially when the thing I wanted to do was watch my boyfriend and his godson.

“Henry may be well behaved, but he’s still a toddler.” Spencer continued, eliciting a deep sigh from me.  

“That’s why you’re here.” I half-joked, pulling into the driveway that was starting to feel familiar. If someone had told me a few months ago that I would become friends with the woman I was angrily binge watching clips of on YouTube, I would have asked them if they had me confused for another girl. But, much to Spencer’s delight, JJ and I never really had that awkward phase. From the second that I met her, I knew that we just wanted the same thing: above all, for the people we loved to be happy. And it seemed we both had a soft spot for the man currently in my passenger seat.

“Oh, running after the kid is my job?” He laughed, already unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling his bag onto his lap in his excitement.

“Yep.” I stuck out my tongue at him, which only made him lean over in an attempt to steal a kiss. I allowed it, if only to bring him within arm’s reach. When he started to pull away, clearly ready to hop out of the car and run to his favorite toddler, I grabbed a fistful of his cardigan in an attempt to keep him closer for a second longer.

“But seriously, Spencer, I…”

He settled into his seat, immediately recognizing the faint tremor in my words. His hand came to rest over mine, and I sighed at the warmth that filled my whole body in seconds.

“I want you to remember that you’re a good person.” I whispered, trying to let him feel how deeply I meant the words, “I know how much you love Henry. I think spending time taking care of someone that’s… not me… will be good for you. And me.”

Those big brown eyes glassed over, glancing down and then away from me as he remembered looking at my stomach didn’t ever do much for his self-hatred. Which, in turn, just made me feel worse. I wondered if there would ever be a day where he could look at me and not feel that way. I desperately hoped that there would be.

Spencer rubbed his eyes to stop any other emotions from spilling out. “Does JJ know we’re using her kid as therapy?” He joked between sniffles.

“She’s a smart lady.” I shrugged, smoothing out the now wrinkled cardigan beneath my fingers. “Besides, Henry said he missed you and it’s hard to say no to him.”

And just like that, Spencer’s bouncing returned, his hand reaching behind him to open the door before he could even open his mouth to speak. “Yeah, we probably shouldn’t keep him waiting, then.”

There was no stopping him at that point, and I trailed along behind him, watching as Henry tumbled out of the front door and straight into my boyfriend’s waiting arms on the porch.

The rest of the night went a lot like that, too. Once the novelty of having me there wore off, and Henry realized that my boo-boo made it hard for me to play the way little boys liked to, Spencer returned to his rightful place as Henry’s favorite babysitter.

I didn’t mind; I was perfectly content watching the two of them. Between the cheesy magic tricks that required a little bit of childlike innocence to be entertained by and Spencer’s attempts to follow along with Henry’s excited rants about cartoons my boyfriend had never even heard of, I somehow fell even more in love with the man.

And even though I had planned this for him, it was restorative for me, too. There was this weird, paradoxical guilt you feel when you’re dating someone like him. Although I know that he wanted to spend every waking second of his free time with me, it made me feel like he was missing out on something else. Something better than me.

It was so easy to forget that we could do those things together. In a way, I could thank my injury for that. When we were limited so much on what we could do together, we had to find creative ways to spend time together that were still stimulating for the both of us.

That being said, in that moment I wished for nothing more than rest. Even just watching the two boys together was exhausting, so when Henry’s first yawn sounded, I jumped at the opportunity. Because, see, Spencer was good at the playing, but I was much better at the cuddling.

It wasn’t like he could argue, either, because while Henry curled up next to me on one side, Spencer was on the other, his arm reaching around to rest on the young boy’s back. Despite picking out the movie, Henry fell asleep against my chest within minutes.

And in the quiet calmness of JJ’s house, I found myself almost falling asleep, too. My head rested against Spencer’s shoulder, moving ever so slightly with each deep breath as my eyes struggled to stay open. That was when Spencer kissed the top of my head so delicately that I almost didn’t feel it.

“I love you, little girl.”

My heart skipped a beat at the sound, and the wave of goosebumps and satisfaction covered me like a blanket. If we’d stayed for even a few minutes longer, I would have fallen asleep right there. However, JJ and Will arrived home just in the nick of time. They tried to convince us to stay, but Spencer seemed uncharacteristically excited to leave, so I didn’t question it even though I wanted to. I took the trip home to catch up on my phone and try to wake myself up enough to spend another hour or so awake with him before I passed out.

“Don’t fall asleep yet.”

I perked up in my seat, not entirely sure if he’d actually said the words, or if I’d just imagined them a little too vividly. But when he glanced over at me, I knew that he was just doing that slightly unsettling thing where he read my thoughts.

“Why? You got plans?” I said through a yawn, trying to stretch within the confines of the car.

“As a matter of fact, I do have plans.”

At first, I thought nothing of the smug way he said it— up until I felt his hand slowly slide up my thigh, the pressure of his fingers increasing when he couldn’t go any further.

“This feels familiar.” I chuckled, my mind transporting me back to our first not-a-date. The sensations caused a desire to burn through me so quickly I became lightheaded, my lungs hungry and desperate as Spencer continued to tease me by avoiding the one place he knew I wanted him to touch.

But, of course, just as I reached down to move his hand, he pulled it away altogether.

“Lucky for you, we’re almost home.”

I audibly groaned, knocking my head back against the seat now that Spencer had succeeded in waking me up. “Sometimes, Spencer…” I mumbled, “I remember why I have to be such a fucking brat.”

“It’s my fault, is it?”

There was a distinct darkness and deviancy in his words, despite the joking cadence they were uttered in. It was a voice I hadn’t heard in some time; a voice that was imprinted so vividly in my memory that even just the thought of it would make me putty in his hands. And I knew that I was reminiscing a lot, trying to relive times that had long since passed, but every time I saw a part of the old Spencer — the Spencer who rambled in museums and demanded I cover up my Lolita costume — the more I felt like my life was finally returning to normal.

“Of course it’s your fault. Have you seen me?” I gestured to myself, swamped in a sweatshirt and shorts like a weather-confused idiot. If the clashing clothing wasn’t enough, my make up had smeared from constantly rubbing my eyes. “I’m an angel.” I concluded, intending it to be sarcastic but knowing that he really saw me that way.

And sure enough, Spencer looked me over for just one second before pulling into the parking lot to his apartment complex. “You’re spoiled.” He decided.

“Doesn’t feel that way right now.” I whined, chewing on my bottom lip as I continued to wait for his attention.

But he just parked my car, leaning over to grab his bag from between my legs. Before it got too far, though, I clamped my legs around the leather. “Stop ignoring me!” I said through a pout, only getting more heated as he chuckled in response, tugging on the satchel until it slid from between my legs.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Spencer’s eyes locked with mine, his other hand grabbing my chin and forcing my bottom lip out from between my teeth. He held my mouth open against my resistance, but as soon as I gave into his hold, he relaxed his grip, leaning forward and pressing a much-too-soft kiss against my lips.

Without even fully breaking away, he turned my head to the side to whisper in my ear, “Get inside and I’ll make it up to you.”

Life was returning to normal. Together we excitedly stumbled through the Langham apartment complex until we got to his door, and he fumbled to unlock it without letting me go.

Everything about the chaos felt comfortable and predictable. I didn’t even notice the dull throbbing in my stomach because Spencer’s hands felt like home. The insistent noise of all my messy insecurities was quieted by his lips trailing down my jaw and neck as we finally crossed the threshold.

“Watching you with Henry, I just...” Spencer began to mumble against my neck, our bodies gravitating toward his room with a complete lack of grace, considering how well I should know the layout by now. We made it to the door, but not his bed, as he pressed me against the wall right on the other side.

His lips were slightly swollen from how feverishly he’d kissed me, his breathing ragged and his hair wild from where my hands had raked through it a few too many times. But his eyes were what really caught my attention, staring into me so deeply that it caused a shiver to roll down my spine. Spencer sensed my hesitance, because he brought a gentle hand to my face before he spoke, quietly but surely.

“I want to marry you one day. You know that, right?”

I thought about before; how those words would have filled me with both a naive joy and overwhelming anxiety. But as I stood there, staring back at him, I felt a genuine smile spreading across my lips.

“We speak in a lot of ‘one days,’ Dr. Reid.”

I couldn’t tell the effect the words had on him, although I had a few guesses. I’d avoided the part of the sentence he’d meant for me to hear the loudest. We both knew I’d heard it. At the same time, I hadn’t denied the idea or given any reason to suggest I wasn’t happy about the statement.  

“I’m serious.” He insisted, not ready to drop the subject just yet.

Unfortunately for him, though, I had other plans. As much as the talk of marriage gave me butterflies, there were more immediate needs I wanted him to fulfill. So, without saying anything, I subtly suggested that he put off the conversation and switch to other activities with a firm hand against the bulge that had already formed in his pants.

“God, I want to fuck you.” He immediately groaned, his head lolling forward and resting against mine. I figured that it would be harder to convince him to fuck me now that he wasn’t drunk, but he seemed even more willing now that we’d already made the leap of faith once. Nothing bad had happened to me then, and the dramatic improvement of my mood was helpful for both of us.

So I began to slide down the wall, my hands raking down his chest as I giggled, “Let me help you.”

Spencer’s hands moved so quickly and with such strength that it surprised the both of us. Luckily, he’d grabbed my hips instead of my stomach, halting me before I could drop to my knees.

“No.” He firmly corrected, lifting me back to my normal height before turning the two of us around so that my back was to the bed. “It’s my turn.”

Much gentler now, he helped lower me onto the bed, but he didn’t follow me yet.

“Take off your clothes.” He instructed me as he removed his own.

I listened, watching him intently to try and determine his plans before he actually got to me. But he kept his expressions to a minimum, only giving away his enthusiasm in watching me sheepishly remove my clothing. My shirt was still on when he climbed onto the bed and over my body.

“I want to see you.” There was something pitiful about the way he uttered the words, and my hands hesitated, holding tightly to the hem of my shirt as I avoided his eyes.

“You have an eidetic memory, Spencer. You know what it looks like.”

“I’ll never stop wanting to see you. You’re so beautiful, (y/n).” He used my name, and my body reacted just as quickly as he realized his mistake. Grabbing my arms before I could close them over me, he brought my wrists against the bed beside my head. “You can leave it on for now.”

What he said provided me all the context I needed to know what he was planning, and I locked my legs around him, hoping that I could stall him for a few moments.

“Please, Spencer. Please fuck me.” I begged, arching my back and baring my neck to him, knowing that he could see my erratic pulse in my neck.

“I can’t. Not yet.” His voice was strained, one hand raised so that his fingers could brush over my neck. “It won’t be much longer.”

Frustrated by his undying desire to take care of me, I used my hand that he’d released to grab a handful of his hair. “I want to feel you inside of me again.” I moaned through the words, my heels digging into his back and bringing his hips down to meet mine. I watched as his eyelids fluttered shut, his breath hitching in his throat.

“I want to see the look on your face when you fill me up.” I continued, bucking up in search of the delicious friction I’d been deprived of for months now. “I know what you’re thinking when you do it.”

“F-fuck.” He struggled to lower his hand to hold my hips down, but I could tell he was scared he would hurt me in the process. It was a dangerous game, to ever put me in this position when neither of us had pants on. Spencer’s confidence wavered as he choked on his words, “This isn’t going to work.”

“You can’t think about that if I’m not touching you.”

“Yes, I can.” He responded with no hesitation, his eyebrows raising in a challenge.

“But isn’t it so much more fun when it’s actually possible?” I cooed.

“It’s always possible, it’s just so unlikel— Fuck!” Spencer cut off by his own gasp when I finally succeeded in pulling him against my heat.

The noise that I gave was something between a sigh and a moan, and I swore I saw Spencer’s pupils dilate in response. There were just some things he couldn’t hide, no matter how hard he tried. But my satisfaction was short lived, and Spencer sat up on his knees to place a manageable distance between us.

“We’re not doing this.” He growled through clenched teeth, his nails raking over my thighs before he removed them entirely. “Stop being a greedy fucking brat and spread your legs.”

I waited a second, hoping that Spencer would get impatient and force my legs open himself. But he flashed me a look, warning me that if I didn’t behave, he could very easily just send me to bed without any satisfaction. And as much as I wanted to call his bluff, the idea of going to bed without getting to touch him was so upsetting.

So, I slowly dropped my legs open, running my hands over the skin still burning from where his hands had touched me. And even slower, Spencer lowered himself until his face rested against my thigh, the scruff of his cheek causing a shiver to run up my body.

“Don’t tell me that a few months of me pampering you has undone all of my hard work.” He murmured so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

But the fact that I did was evidenced by my laugh. “That would imply you’ve actually accomplished something to undo, but I’m just as bratty as the day you met me, Dr. Reid.”

He smiled, his eyes focusing on my face as I continued to giggle, now urged on by the way his breath tickled my inner thigh. “Is that right?” He said in that familiar cocky voice. “Because I happen to recall that the first time that I did this, you tried to stop me.”

The blood rushed to my cheeks as my mind replayed the memory of his smirk from when he had held my legs open for him.

‘You’re not broken, little girl. Promise.’ Just the thought of the words was enough to cloud my mind, but I was dedicated to besting him in this exchange. If he was going to be arrogant, then I would give him the best challenge I could.

“Would you rather I fought you?” I asked, beginning to pull my legs shut before he grabbed them and pulled them over his shoulders.

“No. The instructions for tonight should be very easy to follow; even for you.”

I was trying to pay attention, but it was getting harder the closer he came to actually fucking doing something. It was so obvious that he was getting off on the way my eyes were barely able to stay open, my chest moving with each half-sob that came when he would lay a kiss against my hips.

“What are they?” I slurred, grabbing handfuls of the sheets to prevent myself from forcing him against me.

It was clearly the exact question he was waiting for, a devilish smirk stretching over his cheeks as he dragged his lips down to where I wanted them, moving them against my skin to say, “Stay still, and don’t be quiet.”

While I appreciated the instruction, I feared that it was in vain. Because when Spencer finally flattened his tongue against me, I couldn’t have stopped myself from immediately crying out if I tried.

My hands retained their death grip on the sheets, partially making up for the fact that my body immediately disobeyed his command to stay still. But I couldn’t help it; the long strokes of his tongue up and down my sex felt like pure bliss. And honestly, it wasn’t even just the physical sensations. It was just the knowledge that we were back where we should be; shamelessly indulging in our need for each other without inhibitions. Spencer was clearly enjoying himself, his hands struggling to gently hold me down while he devoured me like a man starved.

I couldn’t look at him, my head bent so far back I could see the headboard. His name fell from my mouth like a mantra, my hips rolling against each motion of his tongue.

“I missed you.” I cried, my legs once again locking around him, my heels on his back as I wished I could pull him closer. “I missed this so badly, Spencer.”

He couldn’t really answer, although I think the moan that he gave was meant to be a response. The vibrations almost sent me over the edge, but right before they could, he pulled back ever so slightly.

I glanced down to figure out why, and was met with his eyes watching me intently, analyzing every response I was giving him; memorizing the way my body shook with need after just a few weeks in his absence.

“Please, don’t stop.” I begged, not caring how pathetic the words sounded when they broke in my throat.

“Oh, I’m not.” He mumbled against me, raising his lips to close around the bundle of nerves at my crest.

At first, I just sighed, appreciating the soft flicks and swirls of his tongue that would eventually build up another release. But it was when I closed my eyes that he revealed his plan.

Without any warning, I felt his finger slip between my folds, thrusting into me with one fluid motion as my wanton moans filled the room. He didn’t let them distract him, his mouth intent on the rhythm it had set, and his hand insistently working to match it.

There was nothing comprehensible in the noises I made, and neither of us seemed to mind. Spencer was only urged on, quickly adding a second finger in his ruthless pace that finally forced me to release the wrinkled sheets in my hands. Instead, they wound through his hair, pulling me against him as I chased my release.

“Please.” I whined, hoping that he would know what I was asking for. Because I didn’t even know what I was asking for— just that he could give it to me.

And sure enough, he did, his fingers beginning to curl inside of me with each motion. I used all of the energy I could muster had to keep my hips relatively still, although they were still trembling with the tension spreading through my muscles that tightened around him.

I wanted to call out his name, to give him the praise and recognition he deserved, but my tongue was tied in the haze of pleasure that overtook me. I could barely breathe, my mind transported to some alternate universe where there was only Spencer and myself. There was no point in identifying where we diverged, because he felt so much like a part of me in that moment, I could never separate from him again.

My walls fluttered around his fingers that still pumped into me with the same vigor. His tongue continued to circle my clit while he gently sucked, clearly lost in his own form of pleasure from the activity.

I wished I could touch him more. I wanted to drag him up to my lips, turn him onto his back and ride him until my legs gave out. But I couldn’t; my body tired and no longer used to the energy we once made a habit of spending on each other on any given day. It had used that energy to dull the pain so I could enjoy the relatively tame experience we had just shared.

As I came down from my orgasm, I was filled with guilt over the fact that I hadn’t so much as touched him once in this entire encounter, and now my hands weren’t even able to keep my grip on his hair as he lifted his head.

Spencer seemed none the wiser about the shame brewing in my head, and he wiped his mouth to reveal a lovesick smile beneath his hand.

“Good girl.” He rasped, crawling up to my side rather than on top of me. With a tender hand, he brushed aside the strands of my hair that stuck to the sweat on my face. “I knew you could behave.”

He sounded so proud of me, which only served to intensify the guilt now pouring from my heart and tainting the rest of what should have been a beautiful memory. I clung to the little bit of light I saw in those toffee eyes.

“How dare you imply I’m ever capable of such a thing.” I chuckled, reaching out to hold him somehow.

He took my hand in his, raising it to his lips for a brief kiss before resting them both against his heart.

“Can I help you?” I sounded drunk from my exhaustion, but hopefully determined enough to convince him I was willing. He didn’t buy it.

“No, go to sleep.”

He leaned forward like he was going to kiss me, but then brought his fingers down over my eyes, brushing over my lids in an attempt to get me to close them. To his credit, it worked, but only for a second before they snapped back open.

“That’s not fair!” I murmured, pulling the sheet over me while I tried to sneak closer to him. I noticed the way he scrutinized my free hand’s movements, ready to stop it from doing too much.

‘It’s gonna be like that, huh?’ I didn’t let it stop me from trying. I didn’t even get to his bellybutton before he snatched my wrist.

“I said no.”

“You know... I could help you without touching you.” I offered instead, pressing my hand against his chest since he wouldn’t let it move any lower. “It’s not the first time we’ve touched ourselves for each other.”

Spencer snorted at the reference, bringing my hands up to his neck, where they happily ran through his now tangled hair.

“That didn’t end well for me last time.”

“I bet you still finished without me.” I teased, my tongue slipping out from my mouth.  “Did my pictures come in handy?”

“Like you said— I have an eidetic memory. I don’t need pictures.”

The most noticeable part of his response wasn’t the way his cheeks turned pink, but rather that he didn’t deny that he’d used the pictures. Knowing they were long gone now, considering Penelope’s tendency to snoop too much for her own good, I wondered if that memory was filed away somewhere special in his mind.

“You especially don’t need them when I’m right here.” I purred, tugging him closer by his hair until the gap between us was gone, our lips pressed feverishly against the other.

It was always like that. Like the second we touched, the proverbial dam between us turned to dust. Within a matter of seconds, we’d be so wrapped up in each other that we didn’t care about the wreckage left in our wake.

Spencer didn’t let it get that far, though. He hadn’t in some time.

“You have had enough excitement for one day. I don’t need anything.” He clarified, clearing his throat and acting like I couldn’t feel his erection pressed against my thigh. Still, his next statement was so genuine I couldn’t have argued with it if I tried. “I just wanted to take care of you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

But on the topic of wanting, I knew I felt it more. “I want things to be normal again.” I answered quickly, an urgency blooming in my throat that died when I tried to finish the thought. “I feel so... useless.”

His hand has grabbed my chin before I even noticed its absence on my hip. He held my face towards him, a dark and pained timbre in his voice.

“Don’t ever think that.”

It was a plea. I wanted to give him the relief and assurance he sought, but my gut told me to be honest with him, even if it hurt us.

“It’s just that before, we... did so much more and I’m scared that I won’t...”

Why was it so hard? He was looking at me like he would do anything to stop me from feeling even the slightest discomfort, but I felt like I was suffocating. I didn’t want to disappoint him. I didn’t want him to worry. I wanted to make him as happy as he made me, but...

“I’m scared that I won’t ever be able to do it again.”

He couldn’t tell me that I was wrong. If he tried to make it only about my physical condition, he risked the chance of me telling him I don’t want to do it ever again. Did I feel that way? It was hard to tell; it was too early to tell. But the crushing despair that I felt at the thought of losing that part of our relationship suggested I did not feel that way.

“Hey. Look at me.” Spencer’s voice tore me away from the intrusive thoughts about our inevitable fallout, his hand still holding me in place in front of him, and his eyes still promising me the world.

“Just because we’ve done something before doesn’t mean we ever have to do it again.”

The words felt like the first breath after struggling for air underwater and finally breaking the surface just in the nick of time. Why were they such a relief? I couldn’t figure it out, but was too afraid to ask, fearing how Spencer might take it. Although, the tears pooling at my lashes gave him more than enough to read.

“Tell me you understand.” His request was as gentle as always. After a moment of trying, and failing, to collect myself, I nodded.

He sighed, cautiously moving his palm to cup my cheek. It was his voice that broke then. “I know this is hard, but I need you to use your big girl words for this. I need to make sure you hear me.”

“I understand.” My throat ached as I forced the words out. I could tell he wasn’t convinced but knew any argument would be meaningless while we were both so tired.

“Thank you.” He said, anyway. And like the prettiest sounding broken record, he let his fingertips trail over any exposed area he could find as he spoke the same words I’d heard before, even more insistent. “Even if you never touched me again, just knowing that you’re alive and happy... That alone makes the happiest man in the world.”

Spencer’s lips pressed against my forehead, resting there for a little too long. From the uneven shake of his breath, I knew he was hiding something, but didn’t want to ask what. I suspected they were tears.

I had disappointed him again. I had hurt him, yet again. I hadn’t meant to.

“It’s all that I need. To know that you’re happy.” There was an implicit message hiding in those words.

He was saying he wanted me to be happy, consciously neglecting to voice the resigned addition, ‘even if it’s not with me.’

“I know.” I whispered, half asleep as he continued drawing patterns on my skin. I meant to tell him that he was the only man who’d ever made me feel truly happy, safe, and loved— the only one I trusted with my heart. But all that came out was a simple, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He said back, leaving me to wonder if he’d heard what I meant.

—————————————————

After everything I’d been through, I’d sworn that I would never want to be in a hospital ever again. But, unfortunately for me, it seemed my stubbornness extended even to my own limits, which explained why I was currently walking through the doors of the residential inpatient ward. It was a good idea in theory, to volunteer in the last place I wanted to be so that I could grow used to being there again.

It didn’t have to be a scary place.

Especially since the people around me weren’t the typical hospital patients. In fact, the people there weren’t even the usual patients of the hospital. Apparently, the ward was hosting a group of traveling patients that had been deemed fit for a vacation to the nation’s capital.

My assignment was simple enough - simply meet with a person and discuss the book they were currently reading. There was no requirement that we had to have read the book before, considering that would leave most people without a partner at all.

I was expecting to meet someone to discuss some niche romance novel or whatever had recently come out in theaters, but as I scanned the list of books, one stuck out to me more than the others.

The Book of Margery Kempe (1501).

It wasn’t the book itself that piqued my interest— I’d never read it. I had, however, listened to Spencer explain the entire premise to me on several occasions. Unsurprisingly, no one else volunteered for the book from the fifteenth century that referred to the main character as “this creature.” No one until me, that is.

There was no questioning who my partner was when I entered the room, spotting her quickly on the outskirts of the room with the book in her hand, but her eyes fixed on the raindrops slowly dripping down the window.

“Hi, are you Diana?”

She jumped a little at the sound of my voice, and I tried not to be consumed by guilt for surprising her despite my best efforts not to.

“Who are you?”

“I’m (y/n). I’m sorry if I scared you. I was assigned to be your book buddy today.” I explained, gesturing to the book on her lap with a smile that wasn’t big enough to be fake. From what the nurses had told me about her, I figured it was best to just be as genuine as possible… which made my answer to her next question a little more difficult.

“You’ve read this book?”

“Actually, I haven’t. No one had.” I laughed, pulling another chair over to her before taking a seat. “But I have heard someone go through basically the entire story in their own words, so...” I never finished the thought, cut off by a slight scoff from the woman.

“I figured. You’re very young.”

“Hey! Young people can read the classics.” I defended, crossing the lower half of my legs and tucking my hands between my knees. It probably gave away some of my nerves, but I figured it was alright considering she wasn’t a profiler and Spencer wasn’t here.

“But you don’t.” She wryly noted.

“Guilty. My boyfriend does, though.” I acquiesced, albeit a bit distracted as my mind decided to focus on those memories rather than the current reality.

“At least you’ve got that exposure. It’s important to learn these things.”

For a second, it felt like I was being lectured by my boyfriend, making it hard not to laugh, which I was pretty sure she didn’t appreciate.

“Can you tell me about it? I want to know if my boyfriend was just making stuff up.” I shrugged, laughing while I found myself avoiding her eyes. She noticed that behavior; most people would.

But to my surprise, she started to explain the book, anyway. Less surprising was the realization that Spencer hadn’t made up any of it. It was clear as day from their similar words that they had definitely read the same book. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought they’d discussed it together, too.

She was more talented than he was at explaining, though. Maybe it was a little bit my fault, considering I always got distracted by his voice. But with her, it really did feel like someone sharing a part of themselves. I could tell how deeply she cared for literature, and it made me more excited to hear about the chaste holy woman that found herself tempted by jealousy and sex.

When her story was winding to an end, I was almost sad that it was over. “You must have been a professor.” I mumbled, having already forgotten the information I was given by the nurses.

She was quick to correct me, her mouth curling into a frown as she said, “I still am. I’m just not on the campus anymore.”

“Of course. Gotta stay sharp, right?” I half-heartedly joked, sitting up from my slouched position. A brief stint of silence stretched between us and glancing at the clock I realized that it would still be a little while until Spencer could come get me. So, I turned back to the woman in front of me, noticing the way she stared out the window as she chewed on her nails.

“Is that why you wanted to visit D.C.?” I wondered aloud, and her response didn’t help assuage that curiosity at all.

“I... have another reason.”

“That sounds very mysterious, Diana.” I giggled, leaning forward and whispering, “Are you secretly a rebel?”

She scoffed, but I detected amusement behind the apparent derision. “Nothing like that.”

As sneaky and vague as she was being, and the fact that I had been warned of her paranoia, I still found myself wanting to ask her what could possibly make her as happy as her current thought.

“So what is it?” I said, leaning back in an effort to seem less insistent, explaining my intentions in a rant reminiscent of my boyfriend. “I don’t mean to pry, I just... you got really happy and I’d love to share in that excitement.”

“That’s just selfish.”

She really was so much like him.

“That’s how you know I won’t judge you.” I pointed out, raising one hand in the air and placing the other on my heart.

“I’m not worried about that.” She just waved her hand at me, ignoring my dramatic gesticulations and sighing as she glanced down at the book once more. After another moment of contemplation, her eyes flicked up to me so quickly I almost missed them, analyzing my features one more time before she carefully said, “I’m here to visit my son.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

Although her expression was anxious, she still seemed at least a little relieved to have shared her plans with someone.

“He is.” She returned, lightly brushing the back of the book, almost like she was trying to remember something etched on the beveled hardcover. “He’s a good boy. Very bright. He has wonderful adventures. He goes all over the country. He used to tell me everything but... he’s gotten too busy for his mother these past few years.”

As I took in the words, I felt the pain in her voice. My heart wrenched in my chest, imagining how awful it must be to not have a chance to talk to your family. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean to ignore you.” At least, I hoped not. She had so many stories to tell, even in just this short window, I couldn’t imagine anyone would want to avoid her. Then again… I knew it could be hard.

“I know he’s busy. That’s why I wanted to come here. It makes it easier for him.” She was confident in her explanation, and I nodded back with similar gusto.

“Have you talked to him yet?”

“No. I’m going to have them call him today.”

We were both happy then, and I clapped my hands together in front of me to suppress the urge to touch her as I excitedly replied, “I hope you get to see him.”

“Me too,” she agreed, simultaneously hopeful and defeated, before turning back to the window with the same wistfulness as before. “If not, the museums will be nice, too.”

“Hey, if you need a docent, I could always call my boyfriend. He would be so excited to talk to a fellow scholar who could actually follow along.” I excitedly replied, rocking forward in my chair with a goofy grin at the thought. She reminded me enough of him that I figured the two would get along. He’d at least understand what she talked about, unlike me.

“There’s no one that can compare to my son.” She warned, narrowing her eyes and pouting in a way I swore I’d seen before on another face.

“I bet. He does sound a lot like him, though. I bet they’d be friends.” The gears in my brain, rusted and slightly worn, started to turn. “They actually might be... my boyfriend lives near here.”

And that was when it hit me, the obvious conclusion I’d been avoiding for some reason. That creeping, unsettling familiarity wasn’t from coincidence; it was my brain recognizing her as an extension of the man I loved.

“...What’s your son’s name?”

She never got to answer, because no sooner had I finished saying the words thanwe both heard Spencer’s voice from the door behind us.

“Mom?”

The realization crashed into all three of us like a goddamn freight train. And even with my flair for the dramatic, I found my head spinning as I tried to will time to rewind itself.

“Spencer? How did you know I was here?” Diana said through a confused gasp, turning to me to see the equally stunned look on my face.

“I didn’t… I—“

They both turned to me, but I was too busy staring halfway between them, my jaw dropped open and my brain suddenly devoid of any helpful thought.

When it decided to finally be helpful, it was only marginally better. “Well… that makes a lot of sense.” I said with a cringeworthy laugh. When neither of them laughed, and continued to stare at me, I quickly shot up from my chair and waved a shaking hand. “You should talk to your mom. I’ll give you guys a minute.”

I didn’t get very far before Spencer’s hand caught my wrist, his wild eyes wide and insistent as he crackled, “Actually, I need a minute alone with you. If that’s okay.”

I turned to Diana for her permission but found nothing useful. She was also still caught up in the disaster that had just occurred, and turned back to her son who seemed genuinely apologetic.

“Sorry mom, I’ll… I’ll be right back.”

Spencer nearly dragged me out of the room, shutting the door and hiding out of sight of any windows. If he was ready to unleash his pent up anxiety, though, he wasn’t quick enough.

“Spencer, what the shit?!” I whisper-yelled, the sound echoing through the sterile hallway.

My boyfriend didn’t have any answers, his hands raking through his hair as he clearly tried to calm his heart and rapid breath. “I’m sorry I— I didn’t know that she was here! What is she doing here?!”

“Oh my god. Shut up. I’m freaking out. What if she thinks I’m weird?” I rambled back, grabbing my chest once I realized that I was freaking out just was badly as the idiot in front of me. Because seriously, he couldn’t tell me his mom’s name so I wouldn’t be blindsided like this?

Then again, I guess I couldn’t talk.

“What did you say to her?” He whispered back, dragging his hands over his face. He seemed eerily calm while asking, considering just how much we could have gotten into during our conversation. Although, I guess it would have been weird to share the more intimate, embarrassing details with a stranger at a hospital.

“I don’t know! We just talked about you!”

“You talked about me?!”

“Well we didn’t know we were both talking about you!” I said was quietly as possible, which was not quiet at all. Waving my arms between us, I tried to explain the jumbled mess in my head. “She was talking about her son and I was talking about my boyfriend and— Actually, that reminds me.”

“What?”

His answer came in the form of a soft thwack on the back of his head. He jumped, raising his hands to his head in both shock and embarrassment at the public chastisement, despite there being no one around to witness it.

“Call your mother, asshole!”

“Ow?! Don’t hit me!” He whined, and I could tell from the tone that the only damage done was to his ego.

“Stop ignoring your mother! You shouldn’t even be out here!” I reminded him, laying my hands against his chest and beginning to push him back towards the door. “Get back in there!”

Spencer’s hands held onto mine, and for the first time in a while I noticed that they were shaking. The lighthearted panic I’d felt seconds before vanished, replaced with a painful sadness that seemed to bleed from him into my hands.

“I’m not trying to ignore her, I just…” His eyes were struggling to focus, and the crackle in his voice warned me that there was something he was trying to avoid saying. “I can explain… This.”

I didn’t need to hear it.

“Explain what?” I meant the question to be an expression of my feelings, but it seemed to freak him out more. Like I actually expected an answer for why his mother was in a program like this. Like the reason he had kept that from me mattered. I already knew the reason he didn’t tell me— It was pretty obvious.

“Spencer, I don’t care that she’s here. That doesn’t bother me.”

From the faraway look in his eyes, I knew he didn’t really believe me. I couldn’t blame him entirely. The shame was clear on his features. But I also knew that nothing I could say in that moment would make him believe me; it would probably take a long time. That was okay. We had time.

“I’m serious. She’s your mother and you love her, so of course I’m going to like her.” I tried to reassure him anyway, and I noticed the small twitch of his pout that slowly turned into a pitiful smile.

Trying to keep that upward trend, I motioned to my absolutely ridiculous outfit and bedhead before I laughed, “I’m mostly just mortified about the fact that I just met your mother looking like this and acting like a fucking moron.”

Thankfully, Spencer laughed back. His hands gripped mine tighter, and through the tears that stayed perched on his eyes without falling, he croaked, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just… go see your mom. I’ll go hang out in the cafeteria for a minute.” I jumped up on my toes, yanking my hands back only to them around his neck.

His arms caught me like they always did, holding me so tightly against him that I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. I kissed him just as hard, trying to remind him that there was nothing in the world that could ruin the happiness I felt when he held me.

I held his face as the kiss ended, squishing his cheeks together and warping his smile in the process. I was just grateful that it was still there.

“And take your time talking to her, because I am fucking starving.” I instructed. The crisp hospital air on my skin was cold as he left, but inside my chest, butterflies erupted that kept me warm. He gave me one final goofy wave before we went our separate ways again.

As I wandered through the hospital halls, I wondered if he knew how nervous I actually was. I couldn’t tell him yet; he would misinterpret it, regardless of his profiling skills. He would see the anxiety in my interactions with her as my fear over his future mental state instead of what it really was— fear that the other woman he loved wouldn’t approve of me.

There was no sense in worrying about it yet. Diana and I had shared a great time together as far as I could tell, and I would definitely make sure that Spencer spent more time talking to her in the future. So as depressing as the hospital cafeteria could be, it wasn’t so bad that day.

—————————————————

Being alone with Diana was so much different after I’d learned that she was Spencer’s mother. Then again, we weren’t really alone - Spencer was there, he’d just passed out and somehow ended up with his head against the pillow on my lap. I was a little surprised by how comfortable he was being so touchy feely in front of his mother, but I’d also recognized the exhaustion the second he walked into the hospital. He’d been out cold for at least 10 minutes, and I was barely able to stay awake, myself.

Diana seemed wide awake, though, watching the minute rise and fall of Spencer’s shoulder as he slept. At least, I thought that was what she was watching, but it could have also been my hand stroking his arm.

“My son seems very happy.”

I looked up, shaken by the sudden sound after nearly falling asleep to the rhythm of Spencer’s breath against my knee. “I think that has more to do with you being here.” I said through a yawn.

“I’m not so sure.” That was all she said, quiet and skeptical. Her eyes were scrutinizing everything she could see, and I thanked the stars that I didn’t have to go through this without him here, at least. At least we’d had one nice memory together first.

“Are you the reason he’s been so busy?”

I was dreading the question but had already planned my response. “I hope not. His job is so stressful, and he spends so much of his free time taking care of me.” I looked down at the mop of brown hair that hadn’t been brushed.

When I ran my hand through the ends of his curls, he shifted on my lap, his hand coming up to grab my thigh as he buried his face into the pillow. I chuckled at the clingy movements, which poorly contrasted my words.

“It makes me feel awful.”

I expected her to look disappointed or disturbed by the action, but she mostly just looked… sad.

“He’s good at taking care of people.” She explained, her head jerking away to stare at the lamp beside her. “I made him do it too often.”

Her answer hurt me in more ways than one. It hurt me because I felt the guilt and shame in her voice over something that she had no control over, which was obviously something that should never happen. But it also hurt because I heard myself in it, and I had to ask myself if, just like I had found traits of my father in Spencer, he’d found his mother in me.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be ashamed of being like her - she was brilliant and obviously cared for him deeply. It was the source of the shame that frightened me.

Was he just with me to take care of me? How soon would he grow tired of that? What would happen when I got better? Would I ever? Did I even want to, if that meant he would leave?

They were terrible, awful thoughts to have. So, I did what I was best at, and shoved them back into the corner of my mind to revisit when I was desperate and alone.

“I think he would disagree. He obviously loves you very much.” Was what I said, instead.

“I could say the same for you.” There was a slight bitterness in her words that forced a frown out of me. The words were forceful, almost like a compulsion that she wanted to fight but was too tired to win. She seemed to regret that, too.

“I know my son... and I’ve never seen him like this before.” She pointed to him on my lap, still sound asleep despite the conversation happening above him. “I don’t think he’s ever slept that well with me. And…”

Part of me wanted to tell her that it wasn’t always like this. I wanted her to know that it had nothing to do with any failing of her own, but a failing on the part of the rest of the world for hurting him when neither of us had been there. But she probably felt the same guilt I did that we couldn’t fix those broken parts. Her eyes met mine, and in the reflection, I saw both of our apprehension.

“I’ve never felt like a girl was taking my son away from me before.”

The breath wasn’t knocked from me, but it did fall out of me in a slow, shaky exhale. I didn’t know what to say back, terrified by the implication behind the words just as much as the fact she felt them.

“He’ll always be yours first.” I promised her, refusing to look away from her eyes even as she refused to meet them. I needed her to know that I would never be a threat to them. That all I wanted or cared about was that he was happy and safe, and that I knew she felt the same.

“Then he should call me more.” Diana said, wry humor bleeding back into the conversation despite how heavy it had become.

“I’ll make sure he does.” I answered, my hands resuming their gentle soothing motions. I saw her hand mimicking the actions against her blanket and found myself wondering about things I’d never ask her. I knew virtually nothing about his childhood aside from the prodigy thing, but it was clear that his father was not in the picture, and that he was very close with his mother.

I couldn’t blame her for wanting to protect him. Just as I had thought it, she’d said it herself.

“When you’re kind like my son, the world will eat you alive if no one is protecting you.”

Maybe Spencer had gotten that mind reading trait from his mother, rather than his profiler training, I thought.

“Are you going to protect him?”

I wasn’t ready for that question. Honestly, I hadn’t even considered it. In all the time we’d been together, I’d selfishly worried about how any harm to him would affect me. In my defense, it had always seemed the more likely scenario.

I was so worried about being the source of his hurt or not being able to fix it that I never thought about how I could prevent it. It almost felt… inevitable. Everyone who loved me got hurt, and he’d already made up his mind on that topic.

“I’m going to try.” The hesitance in my voice gave away my anxieties, and Diana spoke quicker and bolder. 


“You said he takes care of you, but what do you do for him?”

The walls were closing in on me, and I couldn’t fucking breathe. My hand on Spencer’s arm grabbed his shirt before I noticed. I wanted him to be awake, to hold me and tell me that it would be okay. I wanted to be far away from that conversation— that question.

“I-I…” I mumbled, trying to flatten my hand as his mother saw it, trying to act like I wasn’t a fucking child clinging to her boyfriend to save her from a question she didn’t have a satisfying answer to.

It was too late, and Diana covered her mouth as she looked away. “I see.” She said before we both went silent.

The silence didn’t help either, though. If anything, it felt worse. Like my chest had been torn open and she could see all the contents, and the longer I gave her to draw her own conclusions about what she saw, the worst they would become.

That was stupid, right? I couldn’t tell. She liked me, right? Did it matter?

“He told me he wants to get married and have kids and I’m just...” I started to ramble, my hands now hovering above Spencer as I stared down at him, still sleeping soundly like the world wasn’t crushing me above him. In a panic, I looked up to Diana with what I can only assume was a terrified, frantic look. “I’m worried. I’m scared that he won’t be as happy as he could be if he stays with me instead of... someone else. And that question scares me because I still don’t know why he cares about me so much when I can’t give him half of what he gives me.”

My chest heaved from a combination of the lack of breath and skyrocketing pulse. Diana peered at me through her peripherals, a battle visible behind her gaze.

“Most people would be scared to admit that. Especially to his mother.” She thought out loud, and I knew she was weighing my open admission to determine how likely it was that I was lying.

“I figured lying would be worse. I know honesty is important to your family.” I confessed, hoping that my openness wouldn’t come back to bite me in the ass. “I don’t ever want to lie to either of you.”

I left off the ‘again.’

“You know what I think?” Diana said, tapping her chin and readjusting the blanket over her legs as she found a way to be more comfortable with the tension floating in the air.

I took it as a good sign. I hoped it was a good sign. I looked at her in anticipation.

“I think... you two will be happier than you think.” Diana’s lips curled ever so slightly as she held her own hand, rubbing the back of her hand the same way Spencer often rubbed mine. “Love is more than similar beliefs. It’s wanting to share your life with someone. Wanting to see them happy.”

Despite the content of her words, it didn’t feel like a lecture. It was… warm, and comforting. Her voice sounded familiar and loving and safe. She was the one who had taught Spencer to talk.

“I love my son more than anything else in the world. I won’t let anyone take him away unless I’m positive that he will be happy.” Diana finished; the warning grave but her voice quiet.

“I understand.” I replied just as softly, finally looking back down to Spencer. My heart felt like it would burst from the image. As much as I wanted him to see me and his mother having a heart to heart, it was best not to worry him with our battling affections, no matter how minimal the risk.

“Do you love him?”

The question hung in the air because I was still so caught up in his face that I almost forgot she couldn’t read my mind.

“Yes.” I felt the tears forming in my eyes as I breathlessly repeated, “Yes, I do. I love him.”

Diana must have heard the strain in my voice and seen the tiredness in my eyes, because the threatening tone faded. “Then take care of him.” She said, more like a plea than a demand. “Take care of him like I never could, because you know how much he deserves it.”

I nodded, excitedly and happily, my voice breaking and interrupted by a hard swallow to rid myself of the lump in my throat when I said, “I will.”

With perfect timing, Spencer’s body jerked under my hand as it found its way back to his shoulder. “What are you guys talking about?” He slurred before even opening his eyes, clearly bothered by the lost time wherein his mother and I could have spoken about any number of horrifying things.

“We were just saying it’s time for me to head out.” I lied, and Diana’s sly smirk was enough of an indication for me to feel alright about it. It was funny—I’d just told her I never wanted to lie to him, but this one seemed pretty harmless. She deserved alone time with her son, after all.

“Do you want me to drive you?” He finally sat up, rubbing his face to try and get rid of the creases that had formed from the pillow’s texture.

I laughed at the question because he was so obviously not in a position to drive. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d gotten an Uber after leaving his place, and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last. At least this time wasn’t a walk of shame.

“No, I’m fine. You stay here and spend time with your mom. Awake, this time.” I warned, poking him on the nose and earning a playful giggle from the grown man at my side. “She came a long way. She deserves it.”

He quickly got me back, grabbing my face and pulling me forward to plant a kiss on my forehead. And as much as I would have preferred one on the lips, I was grateful for his sudden modesty in front of his mother. It still felt strange.

“Okay. I love you. Drive safe please. And tell me when you get home.” He instructed as I nodded along, already having memorized the speech from every time I’d ever left him.

“Of course.” I murmured through a somewhat embarrassed pout before I got up and grabbed my things.

Before I made my way to the door, I stopped, turning to see Spencer take the seat beside his mother. She took his hand, but she looked at me. I thought about hugging her but knew that Spencer’s company was far superior to mine, and that every second I distracted her was one less she got with him. So, I settled for a wave and a smile.

“Goodnight Diana. Thanks for the talk.”

“Goodnight.” She returned, with a contented smile washing over her as her son rested his head on her shoulder. The final image of the two of them happy in each other’s company was enough to satisfy me until the next time I saw him. Because, like we’d just discussed, he was happy, and that was all that mattered.

As I opened the door to leave, she spoke again. “Thank you.” She said, and I knew she was talking about more than the conversation.

“Anytime.”

—————————————————

| Part 19 |

[seodami]

Dearest treasure | KTH

|PART1| |PART 2| |PART 3|

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2089 (present)

Deathly silence hung in the air as thick as smog. In Jungwons eyes pooled tears, ready to spill over the edges to fall into free fall and drop heavily onto his trousers. His heart was burning, not finding any suitable words of comfort or understanding for the old man in front of him. His throat felt like it was tied up so tightly, he couldn’t breathe. Oh, how didn’t he know? Oh, how could anyone talk bad behind his back? So much hurt…

Mr. Kangs head hung low, not daring to make any other noice than his sniffling nose. Hot tear drops were silently dropping down, it felt suffocating just watching him so full of hurt and sorrow. Suddenly Jungwon felt sorry to let him relive his whole life together with the terrible pain even the young boy could feel.

“I- I…I never could…forgive myself. It was my fault-“ the once handsome mans face was dark and the wrinkles now seemingly even deeper full of regrets and unspoken words. “You wouldn’t understand, boy-“

Jungwon couldn’t form any appropriate words at that moment and let the sadness let him take away just for a little longer. His story was heavy… he felt like he just heard something he shouldn’t have heard. Something so private and fragile. It had touched him more than he had thought.

“I didn’t want to live anymore… it was all worthless since then… I had no motivation to keep going.” His voice became a tad more stable, yet still quiet and weak. His tired eyes met the innocent boys and for a second the old man could see his younger self inside his big brown eyes. Sadness and nostalgia rolled over him and he averted his gaze.

“I tried ending my life many times since that day- it never worked no matter how much I wanted it… and then I just…I just mouldered…alone, broken- and just a shell of my old self. I wasn’t the once happy, bright, clever boy anymore. I could never be that again…”

Jungwons heart felt heavy, breathing wasn’t bearable. His hands unconsciously reached forward to the tiny lost figure sitting in his sunken mould. It was a simple touch but for Mr. Kang it was the first reassuring and comforting gesture he had received in a long long time. It made him tear up stronger, still staying silent. The young boy wanted to be there for the old man. He wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone in this.

Moments of depressing, yet healing silence passed, just the ticking of the old clock in the dark living room was heard. “I’m so sorry Mr. Kang…” Jungwon finally whispered, unsure if the man spoken to even heard it. He couldn’t do much but be there in this moment. Quite honestly he felt like crying himself. But he wanted to stay strong for him.

“One day-“ Mr. Kangs voice shook a little but he kept talking. “-I remembered the time capsule. My dearest treasure. So long ago. And I made it my life mission to find it. One last moment to hold onto and…look back to.” A thick single tear slowly rolled down Jungwons cheek. So that was it. That’s why… and everyone had dragged the vulnerable man down, putting even more dirt into his deep wounds.

“I-I searched everywhere. But…but i just…forgot. It’s my last wish before I finish this…” life he wanted to say. Finish his life. It made the school boy unbelievable sad. Oh how much he must’ve suffered his whole life. And before Jungwon could’ve decided differently, a strong feeling of wanting to help and support creeped up to him.

“I’m gonna help you Mr. Kang. We will find your treasure.” Jungwon reassuringly took the heavy, wrinkled hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was the first time since that day, that he felt hope again. Just a tiny tiny splinter but it was there. Hope.

The next hours, both of the males digged holes through the whole garden, not saving any sweat, too focused on finding the mans greatest desire. Mr. Kang had already reached his limit after three holes, following with the 14 year old boy leading him towards an old wooden garden bench to rest on. Jungwon on the other hand was full of verve and energy to fulfill his dearest wish. To find his dearest treasure. Mr. Kang watched him with surprise and thankfulness, never had anyone gone all the way out to help him with something so important to him. There was never someone who he could’ve went to. After that day, he had broken off all the contact with his old friends. He wanted to feel alone at some point. He deserved the pain. That’s what he had always told himself. But now he was old and weak and just wanted nothing more than to be finally reunited with his beloved family. He missed you everyday. He heard his daughters laughters everyday. And he saw his son running around outside in the garden everyday. He finally wanted to be with his family everyday.

It had already gotten dark and cold at this point, Mr. Kang had brought the hard working boy a jacket and a warm tea. The sun was already long gone, just the small lights from the veranda and from the street shined over towards them. Jungwon was still digging, his once tidy school clothes now full of dirt and dust and drenched in sweat. He couldn’t give up. He knew that. So he kept digging and digging. The moon was fondly watching at the pair below, shining just a tad brighter tonight for them. Short friendly small talk about school went quickly over to heartfelt conversations about life and this and that. Nobody, not even the moon, would’ve thought that the bitter, lonely 87 year old Taehyun and the bright, cheerful 14 year old Jungwon would’ve ever even crossed paths, yet life showed again how unpredictable and full of surprises it could be. This night, a tight bond between the two men was woven. So unexpected but yet so lovely.

The clock already told them it was 6 minutes before midnight when another noice cut through the silent night air. A metallic sound. Gasping, Jungwon threw the shovel away, excitement now rushing through his veins. He fell onto his knees, not caring about the moist soil on his trousers. His hands digged through the last part, brown earth now sticking behind his nails, and moments later, he pulled out a medium sized metal box, securely wrapped in plastic. Jungwon felt like he just won the Olympics, he felt like he did it. He did it…

A quick gaze onto the bench showed him the sleeping old man, now seeming even tinier than before. With shaky steps and a weird feeling of proudness and fulfilment, Jungwon waddled over to the sleeping form, gently waking him up. The box in his hands was tightly in his grasp, not letting go. Mr. Kangs heavy lidded eyes flew open in an instant when he saw the metal box in the boys arms. Tears burned in his thankful eyes, reaching towards it with shaking arms. Everything felt heavy, yet his heart felt the lightest it had felt in a long long time.

“Thank you…so much.” Tears were now unstoppable rolling down his cheeks. It squeezed Jungwons heart, knowing he could make this man happy again, fulfilling his last wish. The both of them moved up to the house again, warmth engulfing them with its now familiar scent. Comfort. The old man reassured the boy to stay but seeing the box being opened, Jungwon felt as if he got to see something way too private. But he stayed, looking over the sniffling mans shoulder when he pulled out a small pink toy dolphin. His hands were shaking. “This was my daughters. It was her favorite toy when she was…two years old.”

Taehyuns heart clenched, seeing all his treasures in front of him. He desperately pressed the small toy against his chest, letting all his emotions in. It was intense, yet it was all he ever wanted. Seeing the familiar drawings of a green giraffe, sitting on a cloud with a family next to it. He could read all their names above the figures. Oh Taehee…

Looking through the photographs, old memories surfaced and made the man tear up even heavier. He didn’t knew how much he really had missed them. It was as if his empty shell was slowly filled again, reliving all of your best and worst moments. He saw a picture on his old friends Hueningkais 18th birthday. All of his friends were there, cake smeared all across your faces, the brightest smiles someone could ever see. The day he had first met you… Another picture had all of your friends sitting around a small bonfire, being cuddled inside blankets. Taehyun saw his younger handsome self smiling unsure into the camera with you sitting beside him. He could only laugh sadly at the memories of your camping trip where he first had kissed you, the guilty feeling just as clear.

“She looks so happy here…” Taehyun noticed with a testy smile, gently touching your face on the picture, seeing you and him laying on a bed, arms tightly slung around your frame, as you held the camera. His large eyes showed nothing but the purest form of love as he looked over to you. Oh he was such a lovesick fool. “You were a pretty couple…” Jungwon whispered, glancing over the handsome young man and the pretty women. He wished to find someone in his life later, he could look at with just as much love as he did. Taehyun nodded, pulling out the next photo. It was the two of you kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, big smiles on both of your faces. Taehyun remembered, it was when he courageously decided to fly around half the globe to you to fix your relationship. He didn’t want to give you up, thank god he didn’t. Another photograph showed you holding your first ultrasound picture, tears streaming down your face. You were both so young and already on the way to becoming parents. It was scary, yes it was one of the most scary moments in life but it was all worth it. The next picture showed you in the hospital bed, looking weak, yet happy. Taehyun was kneeing down next to you, his gaze focused on you and the tiny newborn baby in four arms. A tear dropped down onto the photo but he quickly wiped it away. “Our little Taehee…”

The next picture showed a kissing couple dressed in a gorgeous white dress and a neat black suit. The priest between them was smiling fondly at the newlywed couple. On another one he could see the couple dancing in midst of their guests, white petals laying all over the place. Taehyun sobbed, holding a hand over his mouth. Jungwons hand reassuringly squeezed his shoulder. He was there for him. Taehyuns and your parents were dancing next to you, he could see his friend Yeonjun and Beomgyu dancing with each other playfully and many more of their closest circle. It had been so long. And he missed it. It was such a happy memory.

There were other photographs with you being pregnant, both of your baby pictures, your friends and your parents and a ton of little Taehee running around bubbly in her adorable dresses and overalls. Taehyun hadn’t seen these pictures in a while and it tore his heart into a million pieces. The last picture was inside your new house, the house he never could bring over him to leave. You were all sitting on the carpet, smiling into the camera. The little baby boy snuggling closer in his blanket and the girl pressing a soft kiss onto his tiny head. Taehyuns arms were slung around your frame, head laying on your shoulder relaxing. They were so happy. So happy.

He pulled out an edition of your favorite book with a hand written text inside: ‘For Taehee and Taejun- may they find wisdom and happiness in their long lives. From mum and dad’ Taehyun remembered. Oh he remembered everything. You two would always read this book together since your honeymoon, where you discovered it in one of the local bookstores. Since then it had always be your favorite book. And it hurt him seeing his children never got to read it. Their future was just robbed because of one moment. It was unfair. Why did he get to live when they couldn’t? He never understood.

The last thing Taehyun pulled out of the box was the pink letter littered with dozen of glitter stickers. ‘To my love’ stood on top of it in your cursive handwriting. He gulped, knowing exactly this was made for him personally. It was the letter he dreaded reading. The moment he waited for. The reason he wanted to find this box in the first place. His love. Jungwon stood stiff and still next to him, not daring to say a word. With shaking fingers, he carefully opened the envelope without tearing it. He could immediately recognise your pretty handwriting and already teared up when he read over the first sentence. ‘To my dear love Taehyun, whom I always love’ with another nod, he dared reading through the heartfelt letter.

‘So this is where life led us, what? To be quite honest with you, my 17 year old me would’ve never thought about marrying the handsome boy from Hueningkais birthday party, let alone have his children and buy our first house together. Life went wild with us, am I right Tae? But I regret nothing. Not even when I stole your favorite hoodie out of your closet without you knowing. Everyone was so done with my reckless personality and I often felt misunderstood in my younger days as you know. But you just always seemed to just see the best in me. Even when I felt like giving it all up. You were always there for me. And you were the only one to fully understand and accept me how I am. This is something I never told you in person but I can’t remember how life was without you before. In my mind, you were always there and I know that you will always be there for our family in our long future. I hope when you read this, we are both still happily married, watching our children and grandchildren laugh about all our ridiculous photos inside this box. And Taehee, oh she must be so happy to see her favorite toy again haha. Taehyun, you are my best friend, my first love, my first heartache, my true soulmate and the best husband in the whole world. You are and will always be my love, no matter how time will turn our lives around. We are always together. I love you always,

Your dearest wife Y/N

(P.S. don’t worry about getting old, you are still my handsome prince I fell in love with!)’

At this point, Taehyun was a sobbing mess, not caring what the young boy might think of him. This letter had touched his soul, his deepest heart. He felt every word you’ve written just as if it was you whispering each of them into his ear. He never felt the urge that strong before to be by your side, hug you, kiss you all over your face, tell you how beautiful you were and whisper how much he loved you and would forever. His life made sense only with his family by his side. There was nothing left to live anymore for Taehyun. And he knew that for a long time already.

Jungwon in this moment didn’t knew what to do anymore. He felt like he had fulfilled his mission, making the old man happy for a last time. With quiet steps, he took his video camera, he totally had forgotten and put it in his backpack laying on the floor abandoned. It was his sign to leave, let the man dwell in his emotions and memories. He was done here. With careful steps he went closer to the sobbing man again, softly putting his hand on his shoulder. He looked up as if he knew what the boy was about to say.

A small smile was on his wrinkled lips, clenching on the boys heart. He weakly pushed himself up just to pull the sweaty, in dirt covered student into a warm embrace. It was the first hug since ages it felt like. The hug remembered Jungwon of his own grandmother and tears stuck in his throat. He missed her. “Thank you so much, Jungwon. You are a wonderful kid. You’ve fulfilled my dearest wish. I will forever be thankful to you. May you be blessed forever. You were the only one willing to listen. Thank you.” Jungwon nodded in his shoulder, trying not to burst into tears on the spot but failed nevertheless in the end. He was so glad seeing the happy man in front of him, now seeming even younger than before. The deep sunken eyes didn’t seem frightening anymore. They were warm and welcoming. He could see sparkles of youth inside them. Yes, Jungwon did the right thing.

When the clock showed sharply half an hour past midnight, Jungwon bid his farewell to the man, he weirdly would consider his friend now, knowing he could sleep well tonight. Taehyun insisted on him keeping the jacket he gave him as well as one of the pictures inside the box for his school project and as a token of gratitude. On his quiet walk back home, he smiled endearingly down to the old photograph he carefully held in his hand. It was the last picture. Where the family of four smiled happily into the camera, sitting onto the fluffy rug Jungwon recognised now. He would treasure this picture forever. It was a generous gift, knowing how important it had been to Mr. Kang. He was so thankful.

The next day, Jungwon excitedly presented his project in class. Even though his mother yelled at him concerned where he was until this late, he managed to edit the video for his project, tearing up in the process but still felt motivated to keep going. It was important that he made this his best project. Not for him or his grade, no, it was for Mr. Kang. He was determined to change everyone’s horrible opinion about the old man.

It was eye opening for everyone. Even Park Jongsong, the scary older student, couldn’t come up with a counter attack and stared wide eyed at the screen in front of the class. It was freeing, knowing that just a bit of courage and kindness could lead you to such wonderful moments. He changed everyone’s opinion about ‘Killer Kang’. And he managed to make an old sad man happy again.

After school, the kind student hurried over to Mr. Kangs house. In bright daylight, the garden looked like a battlefield with tons and tons of freshly digged soil laying all around. Now with a much happier feeling, Jungwon crossed the chaotic lawn, knocking energetically onto the old wodden door. After a while he still hadn’t heard any steps so he tried knocking again. “Mr. Kang? It’s Jungwon. I wanted to show you the finished project. It went amazing.” The boy excitedly bounced on the balls of his feet, too giddy to stand still. There was still no answer, so Jungwon made his way towards the backyard, now being familiar with every inch. He had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomache.

And when he saw the open veranda, the old man sitting in his mould on the old couch, Jungwon let out a relieved breath. With careful steps not to step inside one of the many holes in the ground, he made its way over to Mr. Kang, not without knocking on the wall outside. Still no answer. Maybe he hasn’t heard it or he was sleeping. Jungwon waddled over to the familiar couch, seeing Mr. Kang sitting in his usual spot with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, Jungwon first thought the old man was sleeping tightly. Yet when there was still no answers or reactions from his side and when he noticed there was no movement of his upper body, he understood…

Mr. Kang passed away last night. Tears welled up in Jungwons eyes and he heavily let them flow when he saw all the contents of the metallic box scattered around the small desk in front of him. The photos, sorted into time accuracy, the book untouched, the adorable drawings of his young daughter, the green giraffe smiling cheekily at him. The pink letter was open and the neat handwriting was still the same as yesterday. And in Mr. Kangs hands, layed the pink toy dolphin.

Jungwon went onto his knees beside him on the fluffy carpet, letting his hot tears fall freely without restrictions. He may had lost a friend today but he knew deep down, the old kind man was happily reunited with his family. He had gained everything he lost. And for that…how could Jungwon still be sad?

For now and forever, the courageous 14 year old boy, who acted righteous and kind, carried Kang Taehyuns life story out into the wide world, spread his last words so no one would forget the once mysterious man everyone feared to look at. Kang Taehyun, a man who got everything he wished for and then got it taken away from him. A man, who loved dearly. A man, whose story would never be forgotten.

[honeypiehotchner]

Statistically Speaking (a Spencer Reid one shot)

Okay, yes, I know I literally just made a post about being triggered by Criminal Minds, but writing fluff about Spencer has been one of the things that has helped me heal (weirdly enough) and this is one of the one shots that I wrote. It’s all fluff. Enjoy xx.

(Also I’m only on like season 2 of the show so that’s when I’m imagining this is set but it can be whenever idc)

Tagging @breadgenie892​ because she ruined me with her Jaskier x Geralt fluff earlier. This is 100% payback :)

You and Spender Reid — sorry, Dr. Spencer Reid as he adorably introduced himself to you on your first day at the BAU (and scrambled to say, “S-Sorry, it’s Spencer. Just Spencer Reid,” immediately after).

The two of you have quite the bond.

You’re no genius, not in the way Spencer is. Your memory is nowhere near Eidetic, it more resembles Dory from Finding Nemo, but you don’t make that joke anymore. Hotch gave you quite a worried look and called you into his office an hour later to ask if you were alright that day.

But you digress.

Before you met Spencer, Google was your best friend. You ask a lot of questions, and by a lot-- well, just ask Morgan.

On your first day, Morgan said, and you quote, “Oh, God. There’s two of them.”

Whenever you had a question, you Googled it. You researched, you found literary journals and universities that studied what you wanted to know. You found your answers, and sometimes more questions along the way.

But when you started at the BAU, Google was child’s play. Especially when Spencer could give you the answer faster than you could type in the question and hit enter on Google.

It’s one of the things you love most about him. At first, he only answered you because you have a bad habit of asking questions aloud when meaning to just speak to yourself. Spencer didn’t know you were mainly asking yourself, and he launched into a full explanation. You were too mesmerized to stop him, and started asking further questions. It went on and on until you were dazed and he was smiling, and the rest of the team was staring at the two of you like you’d gone insane.

So now, you ask him anything and everything.

Like…

Recently, you called him at almost ten at night. It was storming, but you really needed to take a shower. It had been two days since your last, and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey Spence,” you said when he picks up. “Statistically speaking, how likely am I to get struck by lightning?”

“What? Y/N, what are you doing?”

“I need to shower and it’s storming. How do I look statistically?”

“Not good! Don’t take a shower!”

“Spencer,” you groaned, flopping down on your bed.

“Y/N, showering increases your likelihood of being electrocuted. Ten to twenty people on average are struck by lighting when bathing.”

“There’s the stats,” you chuckled. “Fine, genius. I’ll wait it out.”

“Good,” he sounded genuinely relieved.

His concern made you smile. “What are you up to?”

“Talking you out of electrocuting yourself.”

“I wouldn’t be electrocuting myself. The lightning is what would do it.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Are you tired of me yet?”

Spencer laughed airily before he replied in a soft voice, “No. Never.”

As strange as it sounds, things changed that night. Spencer stayed on the phone with you until the storm passed -- you were getting scared after a particularly loud boom of thunder, but you’d never admit that to him. Once it passed and once Spencer checked the weather radar to be sure it was gone, he let you shower.

The next morning at the BAU, you fixed a cup of coffee for him as a thank you for the night before. You were expecting him to take it and move on, but he pulled you into a hug instead.

Thankfully, no one saw it. If they had, you’d both be getting hell for it.

But despite not seeing the hug, the team has noticed things.

Hotch first noticed it when you offered to accompany Reid to the local police station to set things up on a new case. You normally go with Emily to talk to the families or even with Morgan to visit crime scenes. It was nothing against Spencer, you just happened to like being out in the field more than holed up in a station with exhausted law enforcement.

But not this time. This time you wanted to be with Reid. You even turned down Morgan’s offer to go to the crime scene.

Yeah. Hotch knew something was up.

Morgan noticed, too. He saw you pouring a massive amount of sugar into a cup of coffee and jokingly asked if it was for Reid. In your flustered state, you said it was yours. But Morgan watched you hand the cup off to Reid once you were back with him.

Emily’s suspicions were confirmed when you were talking with her one night on the plane. Everyone else was asleep, so you, Emily, and JJ began talking about “girly” things. Tonight’s topic happened to be crushes.

“I can’t imagine falling for someone on the team,” Emily whispered, pulling a face, overdoing it just to get your reaction.

And your reaction was priceless. You shrugged and went completely silent. While you were glancing over your shoulder to check that Reid was still sleeping, Emily shared quite the look with JJ.

Garcia was maybe the last to notice things. She had her suspicions as well (it passes the time, and Morgan made a few comments about it, too), but when she saw the two of you laughing, that was it. Spencer was sitting in his desk chair and you were sitting on his desk. You were arguing about something Garcia couldn’t hear, but the smiles on your faces told her the argument was all flirting.

And she’d be right to think that, too. The argument that day was that Spencer overworks himself, so you promptly sat on top of his paperwork so that he couldn’t get to it. He refused to touch it because it was too close to your ass and voiced this issue, and you told him it sounded like a personal problem. And that you wanted him to get up and walk around, maybe eat something, too.

You’re a bit of a hopeless romantic. That part of you was telling you that Spencer’s flirting was genuine. That there were feelings buried behind it, but you were never sure.

Spencer was officially the last to notice.

“How am I looking?” You asked seemingly out of nowhere.

Spencer raised his eyebrows, turning to look at you, your voice having broken him out of his thoughts. “Uh, good?”

You tilt your head. “No, statistically. I asked what are the chances of me making it to dinner on time?”

“Dinner?” Morgan asked, sauntering over with his blinding smile. “Got a hot date tonight?”

“You wish,” you scoffed, shoving his shoulder lightly.

But you didn’t elaborate further, which caused Spencer to go quiet. Realizing you weren’t getting any statistics out of him this time, you gathered your things in your arms and headed out.

Once you made it through the door, Morgan nearly fell to the floor. “Spencer. Pretty boy. What are you doing, man?”

Spencer dumbly looked down at the paperwork on his desk.

Before he could say anything, Morgan said, “No, man, not the paperwork. Y/N. What are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing?”

Morgan laughed loudly. “Oh, pretty boy. You have no idea?”

Spencer scooted back from his desk, eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion. “No idea about what?”

“Reid,” Morgan emphasizes every word. “She likes you.”

The sentence stunned Spencer so much he nearly fell out of his chair. “What?”

“Come on, man,” Morgan groaned. “An IQ of 187 and it didn’t help you see she’s got feelings for you?”

Spencer stood to his feet, grabbing his jacket. You liked him. You like him, and you’re going to dinner with someone else.

“There you go,” Morgan cheered as Spencer practically bolted from the room. “Go get her, tiger!”

“Shut up!” Spencer called after Morgan.

Pushing through the doors, Spencer halted, seeing you standing by the elevator. You’re staring down at your phone, and you don’t exactly look happy.

Spencer approaches you slowly, hand gripping the strap of his bag. “You okay?”

You look up quickly like he’s startled you, and truthfully, he has. “Oh. Um, no. My date-- Well, they canceled. Said something came up.”

Spencer can see you’re hurt by this, but he doesn’t care. “Have dinner with me,” he says, eyes expectant.

“With you?” You ask.

“Yeah,” he shrugs, a smile coming through when he adds, “please.”

“Okay,” you can’t help but smile, too.

Spencer grins now, stepping over to press the down arrow on the elevator. You wait in silence, stepping on when the doors open, and Spencer presses the button for the ground floor.

All of your hurt is gone from your face now, and it causes Spencer to start thinking. He stares ahead, and then he hears you giggle.

When he looks over at you, he asks. “You didn’t have a dinner date, did you?”

“Nope,” you chuckle. “Got ya.”

“Yeah,” Spencer laughs. “You got me.”

“So…” You pause, heart racing. “Statistically speaking, how likely are you to kiss me right now?”

Spencer doesn’t even care that the elevator is a few seconds from reaching the ground floor. All he cares about right now is you.

And because of that, he says, “Very likely,” before pulling you in. Your fingers tangle in his hair while his cup your jaw, moving you closer, deepening the kiss, trying to make up for all of his stupidity. As he holds you now, feels your lips, he wonders how he never knew.

[plaidbooks]

The R Drug part 3

A/N: Hey all! I’m still writing this story, I promise! And there will be a part 4, for sure! I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!

Tags: just a little more angst

Words: 1806

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy  @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867  @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandblacktea @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas  @reading--mermaid  @averyhotchner  @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

Part 1 / Part 2

Sonny woke up in bed alone. It must’ve been a dream, right? A fantasy that his guilt-ridden brain decided to torture him with. He was in Genoa, away from his old life, away from you. Sighing, he rolled onto his back, the sound of a rare summer rain soft in his apartment. He found himself still in the clothes from yesterday, and he tried to remember what he did yesterday. But that damned dream was still fresh in his mind.

There was absolutely no way you would’ve flown to Genoa with nothing but the clothes on your back. There was no way you would’ve tracked him down. And there was no way you would’ve consented to him holding you, thunderstorm or not. Not after that night in the club.

An empty hole formed in the pit of Sonny’s stomach; even though his emotions last night—not last night; in his dream—were confused, the main one he remembered this morning was happiness. Yes, he felt guilty holding you, felt like a coward as you trembled in his arms, but he was happy. Happy that you were okay, that you had moved past what happened, even if he hadn’t. And happy that you didn’t blame or hate him. But if that was a dream, then he wasn’t sure that you didn’t hate him. A soul-crushing wave of emotion brought tears to his eyes, and he wished he could go back to sleep, go back to that dream where you miraculously showed up in Italy, where you didn’t hate him, and he could hold you once more.

He noticed when the rain stopped, although his now awake mind connected the dots. That wasn’t rain; that was the sound of his shower. He quickly rolled out of bed, hurrying out of his room and towards the bathroom.

The door opened just as he came into view of it, and he froze. You were standing there, hair damp, steam curling in the air around you. You had taken one of his shirts and a pair of sweats, the legs rolled up, so you weren’t tripping over the material. Sonny’s sudden appearance made you jump in surprise.

“S—sorry; I thought I’d take a shower while you slept. I hope you don’t mind…” you said, trailing off. “I, uh, I also had no clean clothes….”

So not a dream, then… he thought. Sonny mentally shook himself. “No, it’s—it’s fine. We can go shopping today, if you want. Get you some supplies—”

“I don’t want you paying for me,” you started, but Sonny held up a hand.

“Either you let me help you get clothes and a phone charger, or you let me buy your plane ticket.”

Your eyes widened slightly; there was no way you could afford both, but the thought of flying home without Sonny made your heart hurt. “Trying to get rid of me so quickly?” you joked, smirking. But the joke fell flat.

“How long were you planning on staying?”

You shifted, looking at the ground. “As long as you needed me.”

He was quiet for so long that you glanced up at him. His expression was soft, pleading almost. You recognized the look; he wanted a hug, preferably a long, tight one. But instead of coming to you and burying his face in your shoulder like he would in Manhattan, he wrapped his arms around himself.

“I—we need to talk. But not now; let me make us breakfast. Then we can shop.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “And then we talk?”

“And then we talk,” he confirmed.

 ********************

Shopping went well; the only issue was the inevitable argument over how much he was buying you. At first, you tried to stop him from paying for anything, but he eventually wore you down—it wasn’t too hard with the meager amount of euros you had on you. You put your foot down on one outfit, though: just a plain shirt and pants…and a phone charger. You needed nothing else, and you wouldn’t accept anything else. Sonny also made sure to buy himself a new phone while out, so that he could call his parents regularly. But this only solidified the fact that he was planning on staying in Italy.

The entire time you were out together, you were filled with a nervous tension. You knew you were going to have a deep talk once back in Sonny’s apartment, and you weren’t sure if you were really ready for that. But you had to be, for him. If he needed a talk, then you would do it for him without complaints. Besides, maybe you could convince him to come home.

Soon enough, you were back at his place, and he not-so-subtly offered for you to go change out of his clothes. Once in your new clothes—which no longer surrounded you in Sonny’s scent—you joined him on the couch. He sat at one end, and you sat on the other, trying to make sure he was comfortable.

Sonny was staring at the ground, rubbing his hands along his thighs nervously. You waited in silence, knowing he’d start when he was ready. He started a sentence multiple times, but hardly got a word or two out before restarting. Finally, he let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“Look, I’m just going to say it; since you’ve been here in Genoa, I’ve—I’ve been confused. I mean, it’s obvious I miss the old days, miss you. But I—I don’t think I’m ready to come back to New York,” he said.

You nodded, figuring as much. “I’m willing to stay here as long as you need me, Dominick.”

“That’s just it…. I don’t want you to stay here.” His eyes were begging, pleading for you to understand, but you still felt like you were punched in the gut. “You have a life back in the states; a job, a family—”

“You mean like you do?” you shot back defensively. Sonny’s face fell and guilt rushed through you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

His eyes dropped to the floor. “You’re right, though. As hard as I tried to leave it all behind, I…I miss it. I miss my life so much is hurts.”

“Then come back with me. We—we can get you into therapy, we can work through this, Dom,” you prompted softly.

You tentatively placed your hand on the couch between you, palm down. Sonny looked at it before his eyes flicked to yours. Then he slowly, timidly, covered your hand with his. “I’m not ready for that. I need to work on myself first. But to do that, I need you to leave.  Please.”

Sighing heavily, you rubbed your face with your free hand. “Okay…. I understand. But please, can we stay in contact? I—I can’t lose you like that again.”

He was nodding before you finished talking, blinking tears out of his eyes. “Of course.” He took his hand off yours, then moved to cup your face with both hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. “I promise you; this isn’t goodbye. I’ll come back when I’m ready.”

You couldn’t stop the tears that trailed down your cheeks. Sonny swiped at them with his thumbs, but you just couldn’t stop crying. “Y—yeah, okay. I’ll h-hold you to that,” you choked out, sobbing.

Your crying made Sonny start to cry. “I will; I promise. But I need some time to process things.”

“Okay…. I trust you, Dominick Carisi. I know you’ll be okay,” you sniffled. You reached up, covering his hands with yours as he held you.

He gave you a watery smile. “Since you’ve come back into my life, I’ve already stopped hating myself as much as I did before.” He took a hand from you, wiping the tears from his face. “You’ve already helped me so much, just by being here.”

Then why won’t you let me stay? you thought. But you knew the answer; he needed to do the next part alone. Instead, you said, “I’m glad I’ve helped you, even though all I’ve done is hide and cry during a storm.” You chuckled pathetically, but Sonny smiled softly.

“You made me feel useful, like I was helping you rather than—than hurting you. I…I needed that little bit of normal in my life,” he replied. Slowly, he let his hands drop from your face, and you knew the moment was over. But you couldn’t help but miss his touch against you, his warm hands soft against your skin.

Sonny sighed then stood, moving towards the desk with his laptop on it. “Now, let’s book you a flight home, okay?”

 **********************

The ride to the airport was silent and awkward. You made sure you exchanged phone numbers with Sonny, and he promised to call or text when he was mentally able to. He also promised to not fall off the face of the earth again, that he’d live in Genoa until he was ready to come home. But even so, it was a hollow victory; you were still losing your best friend, and you weren’t sure for how long.

Once the taxi pulled up in front of the terminal, Sonny asked the driver to wait for him before he climbed out of the backseat with you. Standing next to you, he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

“I—I guess this is it,” he started, and you fought tears back. “Remember, this isn’t goodbye…it’s just….”

“See you later?” you tried.

Sonny nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you later…. I promise.”

“Y—yeah, okay. I’ll—I’ll text you when I land…so you know I’m safe,” you muttered.

He gave you a pained smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Please do. Um…travel safe, okay?”

“I will. I guess I’ll see you later.” You turned from him, ready to leave him behind in Italy. But his hand clasped yours, turning you back towards him. You glanced into his eyes, his face inches from yours.

“Can I kiss you, please? Just…something to remember you by…” he breathed, his breath hot on your face.

You answered him by pressing your lips to his. Sonny’s lips were so soft, so gentle against yours. It was a slow, tender kiss, full of passion and fear and guilt and love. You leaned back when you tasted salt and realized he was crying. You were afraid he didn’t like it, that he was uncomfortable, but the softest of smiles pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“Th—thank you,” he murmured. You snuck another kiss before pulling away from him completely. He let go of your hand, letting his fall to his side. You gave him one last look, seeing him still standing there, big blue eyes watching you, before you entered the airport.

[frenchbreads-writing]

Could I request something for Shinsou who is accepted in the the hero course with a bf who is still in the general course of UA? How would they handle the drastic change of Hitoshi changing courses? (or just any Shinsou insert tbh of this isn't anything you're really feeling atm) ❤️ love your writings

Day of Surprises|{Shinsou Hitoshi}

I tried going for the first idea but all of my ideas came out so sad for some reason😔

So I hope this is okay and that you don’t mind🥺

Also

479 FOLLOWERS.. ALMOST 500!? I didn’t even notice I want to thank you all I’m so glad you like what I write!! I love you guys so much and I hope you’ll stick around to watch me improve and keep making content for you all!💖💖

I hope you enjoy💖

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi x Male Reader

Words: 1.7k (1,753)

Warning(s): Injuries, Badly written villain encounter

Requests: Closed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stared at the ticking clock from behind the convenience store counter.

2 hours to go until your shift is over.

You covered your face and groaned. The store had been practically empty all day with only a handful of other teenagers popping in for a minute for snacks and other various things.

“(Y/N)?”

You jumped and turn around.

It was the store’s owner standing there. A short woman in her 40s with a permanent soft smile on her face.

“What’s got you so antsy today? You seem like you’re ready to bolt.”

You smiled.

“I have my first date with my boyfriend today after work.”

She smiled fondly.

“A first date is very important.”

You blushed and looked away.

“Yeah, I want to make it nice for him since it’s his first date too.”

The manager glanced at the clock and hummed.

“Well, the shop has been rather quiet today.”

She turned to you and smiled.

“I do suppose I can run the store myself until your coworker gets here.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you faced her.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded and smiled.

“You’re a nice young man and you really help me a lot around here so I don’t mind letting you off early.”

You beamed before rushing to grab your stuff and clock out.

“I owe you one!”

You shouted as you rushed out.

As you jogged your way through the train station you pulled out your phone and proceeded to call Hitoshi.

The phone rang for a moment before you hear your boyfriend’s groggy voice answer the phone.

“Good morning Toshi how was your nap?”

You hear shifting and a groan before he speaks.

“It was good, are you on break?”

You pass through the ticket gates and walk to your platform.

“Yeah, the shop’s pretty crazy today for some reason.”

He hummed.

“Where are we going today?”

“I was hoping we could go to the mall and maybe to that new cafe that opened there a few weeks ago.”

“Sounds good to me.”

A yawn sounds from the other side.

“Toshi if you want to go back to sleep you can, I have to get back soon anyway.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you when you get here, bye.”

“Bye.”

The line clicked and you rushed into the train and await your destination.

When the train stopped you hopped out and headed home to change.

Unlocking and pushing your way inside the door you slipped off your shoes and made your way to your room.

You immediately went to your closet and began to brainstorm on what to wear. It was a casual date to the mall so nothing too fancy. Though everything you put together didn’t seem to be good enough.

Hitoshi had the same issue.

When you had called he wasn’t in bed at all. He was actually getting ready for the date.

He was rooting around his closet for what seemed to be forever. All of his outfits didn’t feel right for a date.

It’s been over an hour after your phone call and he wanted to surprise you at work but he couldn’t choose what to wear.

After picking up what felt to be the millionth article of clothing he thought.

’Screw it.’

And changed into the set of clothes he held in his hands.

He wore a plain black shirt with a purple jacket over it and a pair of ripped jeans.

It wasn’t the worst outfit he could’ve chosen so he’ll take that as a win.

He checked his phone.

’45 minutes left, enough time to get to his store before he gets off.’

Hitoshi quickly stuffed his keys and wallet into his pockets as he made his way to the front door.

Shouting a goodbye to his parents he opened the door. But he immediately froze when he caught sight of you frozen mid knock.

“Uh hey.”

“(Y/N) I thought you were at work?”

You rubbed the back of your neck and chuckled.

“Yeah I was able to leave early and I wanted to surprise you so um, surprise?”

Hitoshi smiled.

“Do you need anything else before we go?”

He shook his head and held out his hand. You took it, your larger hand enveloping his and with that, the two of you began on your way to the mall.

The two of you hadn’t had lunch yet. So after arriving at the mall the two of you immediately went straight to the food court. The two of you each got a simple snack to eat while walking around.

You visited a few stores, goofing around buying cute things. Like a matching set of fluffy cat socks, you insisted that you bought so the two of you could match.

The two of you were sitting on a bench when Hitoshi saw merch of your favorite hero through the window of a shop. So he excused himself with the excuse of using the restroom and walked away towards the store.

You had already bought him so much stuff that he had taken an interest in so he needed to get you at least something no matter how small it was.

He had paid and grabbed the bag his gift was in when a scream came from behind him followed by the sound of the shop’s window being shattered and a loud crash.

Hitoshi spun on his heel and witnessed the cause of the destruction. A trash can was embedded into the wall opposite from the shattered window.

He ran outside and there was more chaos.

Objects floating and slamming into walls and stores, some people already injured and being carried away by other civilians.

He needed to find you and make sure you were okay.

He ran in the direction you were going last.

The villain was standing in the center of the chaos, objects of varying sizes around them being lifted and thrown.

Even with objects almost hitting him Hitoshi still cried out your name and continued looking around frantically for any sign of you.

He didn’t have to look for long when someone shouted.

“Oh god, what’s that kid doing?”

His head snapped where the person was pointing to see you charging towards the villain.

“(Y/N) what are you doing?!”

Hearing Hitoshi’s voice made you pause and look over at him.

But as you look to your boyfriend you didn’t notice the display case being hurled at you.

“Look out!”

You looked and only had enough time to put your arms up to cover your face.

The case shattered and sent you flying backward until you landed sprawled out on the ground.

“Shit!”

Shinsou immediately began running to you.

He needed to get you and get away from there and wait for the actual heroes to come.

You groaned as you sat up placing a hand on your head the air was also knocked out of you from your rough landing.

It hurt but if it wasn’t for your quirk it would’ve hurt more.

“(Y/N)!”

You looked to see Hitoshi running to you.

He was so focused on you that he didn’t notice the villain dragged a nearby truck from outside and begin aiming it at him.

You noticed though and used a nearby wall to brace yourself as you climbed to your feet.

“Hitoshi, watch out!”

He gasped and his foot snagged on a piece of the ground that had been jutting out.

He looked up to see the truck heading towards him.

His mind blanked all he could do was close his eyes and press himself against the cold surface of the wall behind him.

But the pain never came. Instead, the sound of crunching metal and cracking concrete next to his head was all he heard.

Hitoshi cracked his eyes open to meet your worried gaze. He looked over your shoulder and saw your hand buried in the bumper of the now destroyed truck sitting behind you.

“-Toshi? Hitoshi!”

He jumped and looked at you.

“W-what?”

“I asked if you’re okay, here.”

You wrenched your hands from the holes you made and dusted them off before offering a hand to him.

He stared at your hand for a moment before grabbing it.

You hoisted him up with ease but as soon as Hitoshi’s feet hit the ground he cried out and stumbled into you.

“What’s wrong?”

Hitoshi winced and lifted his right foot off of the ground.

“My ankle, it hurts.”

You knelt and rolled his pant leg up to reveal that his ankle was red and starting to swell.

He must’ve twisted it when he tripped. You thought for a moment before an idea popped into your head.

You stood up and hooked an arm under his knees and simply picked him up princess style.

He yelped and clung to your shirt.

“I’ve got you now, let’s get out of here the heroes should be coming soon.”

And just as you said that the pro hero Kamui woods showed up.

“See? Perfect timing.”

You took off towards the mall’s exit with Hitoshi in your arms.

A while after the mall incident and getting checked by a paramedic getting Hitoshi’s ankle wrapped the two of you sat on a train. Your arm around Hitoshi’s shoulders and his head resting against your chest.

“Hey Toshi, sorry our date was ruined. I wasn’t even able to get you a gift since I dropped our stuff back there.”

“It’s fine I had a good time, minus the whole villain attacking the mall part.”

You smiled at him and were about to resume resting your head on his when he jolted up.

“Wait, hold on I almost forgot.”

He shoved his hand in his pocket and rooted around for a moment before pulling out a crumpled receipt and something shiny.

“I uh got us matching keychains, I managed to swipe them before we left.”

You took the keychain from his hand. It was a charm of a small black cat. It was a little scuffed but other than that it was okay.

You chuckled and pulled out your set of keys hooking the keychain onto it.

“Perfect.”

He blushed and looked away rubbing the back of his neck.

He wordlessly placed himself back into your side and placed his head on your chest.

You hooked your arm around his shoulders and gently pulled him closer.

Your first date will always be a rather memorable moment in your relationship. But now you can schedule even better dates. Ones without villains.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Tag List}

@your-strangelove @yumeneji

(If you want to be added, just comment on this post or send an ask and I’ll be sure to tag you in future posts. And if you don’t want to be tagged anymore just ask to be taken off and I’ll do it asap.)

[asmodeusbby]

I’m so happy that you liked my fic enough to want to read more! Since I wasn’t planning on writing a part 2, I’m not sure where I’m going with this story but I have some interesting ideas so I’ve left this chapter on a cliffhanger. I know you asked for closure but it will have to wait. Anyway, thank you so much!

Bad boy — Asmodeus x GN!MC

Read part 1 here

NSFW 18+. Do not read/interact if you’re a minor.

Trigger warnings: Dubcon, toxic relationship, rough sex, blood, humiliation kink, mentions of cheating.

Please, do not read this work if you’re sensitive to dark themes.

Asmodeus moaned softly, a pleased smile forming on his lips as you thrust into him.

It was hard to believe he had finally agreed to an exclusive relationship with you. And yet there he was, his body trembling under your control, sweet promises leaving his lips with every thrust.

"I have only one condition, dear. You must satisfy my needs at all times. Do you think you can keep up with me?" He had said. "You have my absolute consent to use our pact to prevent me from seeing other people, that way you'll know I'm not cheating!"

He was now completely bound to you. You leaned down and peppered his face with kisses, making his smile widen. It almost made you forget the way he bared his fangs when he laughed at you; the malicious sparkle in his eyes when he played his mind games. Now he was kissing your skin like he worshipped you and his touch was so gentle you would have believed you were making love to an angel. 

“Nobody else fucks me like you do... You're the only one I need.” He crooned, looking deep into your eyes before capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss. 

His hands searched for yours and held them, linking his fingers with yours.

“You love me, right? Say that you adore me, please.” He breathed, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “I love you above all things."

"I adore you.” You whispered, burying your face in his hair, breathing in his scent. 

You pleasured him over and over that night, in every way possible, a reward for having given you the best gift you could have imagined. When you collapsed on his bed in the end, body too worn out and skin sore from the friction, Asmodeus wrapped his arms around you and pressed sleepy kisses on your neck.

✧

You checked your D.D.D for the hundredth time that morning as you endured an exceedingly boring lesson. You were lucky Asmo always sat next to you in the back of the classroom. He usually made classes more entertaining, since he was unable to shut up for more than five minutes. That day, however, Asmo seemed quieter than usual. You kicked his foot a little.

"Are you okay?" You asked him.

"My human is hungry for some attention?" He smiled lazily.

You felt Asmo's fingers touching your hand, then wrapping around your wrist before guiding your hand between his legs.

"Asmo, not here!" You whispered.

He pouted for a moment, then winked at you, his tongue darting between his teeth.

"Come on, this class is insufferable. Entertain Asmo a little, pretty please?"

He pressed your hand against the crotch of his pants, making you palm his erection. You couldn't help but squeeze him, his cock hardening even more at the pressure.

"Good, just like that."

You rubbed him down there as he returned his attention to the lesson. He looked completely unfazed, head resting in his hand, disinterest written all over his features as his eyes followed the teacher. 

"Why don't you get your hand inside my pants?" He said without looking at you.

"People will see us."

"Don't worry, darling. No one is noticing. Just do as I say. Don't you want to please me?" He undid the knot in his belt to give you access to the front of his pants.

You slid your hand inside and touched his warm skin clumsily.

"I can't move my hand, your pants are too tight."

"Try to touch the tip a little, that'll be enough." He mumbled, his gaze glued to the blackboard.

The moment your fingers moved to the head of his cock, you felt him twitch, his hot load spurting out against your palm. Your first impulse was to try to gather all of it in your hand so as to not stain his uniform, but you could feel it spilling down your hand. 

"For fuck's sake, Asmo." You muttered.

"Will you help me clean myself up?" He asked, cheeks slightly flushed. "Let's get out of here."

Both of you ran out of the class, knowing well that your audacity would earn you a harsh punishment from Lucifer if he found out that you were skipping classes again. Asmodeus led you to a restroom, a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Get down on your knees." He ordered once you were inside the stall. "And lick your hand clean, I want to see how you do it."

"Why don't you lick my hand instead, pet?" You teased as you pressed two fingers against his lips. He sucked on them obediently, then pulled them out of his mouth and ran his tongue across your hand, his eyes never leaving your own.

"Since now we're exclusive, you have to give me some control too." He cooed, his brow slightly furrowed. "I love being your plaything, but… Can you please get down on your knees and lick my cock clean like the dirty kitten that you are?"

You snorted in disbelief but did as he commanded, arousal beginning to swell between your legs as he pulled his glistening cock out. 

"You caused this mess in the first place, so it's only right that you fix it." Asmodeus rubbed the tip against your lips. You placed a hand on his hip, the other grabbing his cock as you ran your tongue from the tip down to his sack, then up again to wrap your lips around the head. Asmodeus' fingers gripped your hair firmly before thrusting into you.

"Make me cum in your mouth, okay? Breathe through your nose. Just like that, you're doing so well."

He fucked your face so hard tears were stinging your eyes. Slick sounds and soft moans filled the cubicle but you were too lost in your desire for him to care about getting caught. 

"When we were in class all I could think about was ripping your clothes off and ravaging you right in front of everyone. Imagine the teacher's reaction if I rammed my cock into you right there as you screamed and writhed in pleasure." He chuckled. "Doesn't it turn you on when I'm a bad boy?"

You slid a hand between your legs to touch yourself a little as you tried to focus on breathing through your nose, Asmodeus' cock hitting the back of your throat relentlessly.

"Oh, you get off on that? I guess you're a slut like me."

After making him cum several times with your mouth and hands, Asmodeus fucked you until your legs gave out. His cock was so wet with cum it slid into you easily. He fucked you three or four times in the stall, you couldn't remember exactly how many. His thrusts were rough and needy and he seemed to only seek his own pleasure as he penetrated your abused hole without mercy. And yet, you only wanted more and more, the thought of being a cum dump for him to use however he pleased awakening something primal in you.

"Good human. Who would have thought it'd be so easy to tame you?" He whispered when he was done, his cock still buried inside you. "You take my love so well, dear. I'll make it up to you every single day from now on."

✧

Asmo showed up in your room wearing nothing but a set of lace underwear, his erection barely restrained under silk panties.

"Asmo, just let me do this task, I'll be with you in a second."

Asmodeus whined and threw himself onto your bed.

"Please, I really need to cum again. It hurts." He said, his hand toying lazily with his barely clothed erection. "Look, I'm already so wet." He pulled it out completely and gave it a tug, spreading precum along its length. 

"Just touch yourself while I finish this."

"Why are you like this?!" Asmodeus moaned as he lifted his camisole to play with his nipples, his other hand stroking his cock slowly. "You're so cruel. Didn't you say you'd satisfy me? There are a lot of beautiful people out there who would kill to get a taste of this."

That night you fucked him until he bled. And he wanted more.

✧

"MC, I've finally bought that game you told me about." Levi said, his eyes glowing with excitement. "If you come to my room later, we can try it together."

You felt Asmodeus' leg rubbing against your calf under the table insistently, his fingers creeping along your thigh.

"What do you say, darling?" He rested his cheek on his fist as he eyed you fondly, a soft smirk on his lips. "Will you play with him?"

"I'm sorry, Levi. I have a lot of things to do today. Maybe some other time."

✧

"My big brother wants you to fuck him." Asmodeus spoke against your sex, his warm breath tickling your swollen flesh. He pulled back a little to continue speaking. "I see it in his pitiful eyes. He wants you to stretch his virgin asshole until he can't take it anymore, the poor thing."

"Why are you telling me this right now?" You groaned.

"Because I've seen the way you look at him." Asmodeus swirled his tongue then sucked, making you moan. "I'm giving you permission to satisfy his dirty little fantasies."

You grabbed his hair and forced him to look at you, his face scrunching up with discomfort.

"I see what you're trying to do. You're giving me carte blanche, hoping I'll do the same. My answer is no."

"Nonsense, dear. I just want you to be happy, that's all."

He made you cum several times that night.

✧

"Please, master! Fuck me harder!" He screamed, mascara tears rolling down his face. "Hit me again, please!"

You gripped the back of his neck and pushed his head down into the mattress, then slapped his reddened ass one more time as you pounded harder into him.

"You never let me leave marks before." You groaned. "Why do you want me to beat you up now?"

Asmodeus trembled under your weight, a loud moan leaving his swollen lips as he spilled his release onto the sheets.

"I-I just want to please you…" He breathed, his hand traveling down to touch himself. "Keep fucking me, I'm still so hard."

You were exhausted and secretly angry at him and you kept fucking his asshole as hard as you could until a small pool of cum had formed on the sheets. You had always known that he didn't experience refractory periods and that his sin required him to cum frequently, yet you had never imagined to what extent. Asmodeus was smiling smugly at you, face dampened by tears and red from the slaps. It was as if he wanted to say "You should have known better! I am lust after all. Relentless and insatiable."

✧

"Asmodeus..." You moaned as he fucked you hard in the stall, your back against the door, his hands under your knees. He kept you in that position effortlessly while his cock entered you again and again.

"You love the risk of getting caught when I fuck your little hole in this disgusting stall, don't you?" You looked down to see how his cock disappeared into you, slick with cum and blood. He moved so fast, pounding against you with desperation. He grunted as you clawed at his scalp, pulling his face closer to yours. He kissed you sending you over the edge, your whole body trembling with your own release. He sighed softly.

"All this time acting like you're so dominant… but I've always known you're just a human pet begging for a demon like me to tame you." He licked the corner of your lips, then chuckled against your cheek. "Is this position uncomfortable? Don't worry, I'm going to cum again soon. You'll have to walk around all morning soaked with my delicious juices and we'll come back here right after every class so that I can refill this filthy hole of yours with my cum. Isn't it exciting?"

✧

"MC… hurt me!" He pleaded. "Spit on me!"

You slapped him again and he moaned. His neck was bruised, lips stained with his own blood. He clung onto the sheets as you tortured him with a huge dildo he had insisted on trying.

"Master, it's too big!" He cried out, tears streaming down his face. "Fuck! I'm going to die if you keep stretching my ass like that!" 

"Just say your damn safe word if you want me to stop and cut the act." You said as you buried the toy deeper into his asshole.

"You're no fun." He bit on one of his fingers playfully. "Oh, I'm so full! Keep fucking my ass like I'm the nastiest slut in the Devildom."

"Next time I'll put this thing into your disgusting asshole without lube." You threatened. "We'll see how you handle that."

"Ugh, master is so evil." He whined as he pinched one of his nipples between two fingers. "Keep saying those things to me."

"Of course you like being humiliated. It's because you know you're a worthless slut whose only purpose in life is fucking and being fucked. You brainless airhead."

Asmodeus bared his little fangs, the yellow gleam in his eyes telling you things were about to get dangerous.

✧

“Ahh, darling. Why aren't you moving anymore?" He whined as he entered you, still in his demon form, his blood-stained glitter nails digging into your skin. "I might as well be fucking a corpse. Roll your hips a little at least."

You weren't sure where the blood had come from, but there was some on his mouth and chin.

"Stop complaining, you know I'm exhausted." 

You felt your eyes close on their own, drowsiness invading your senses in spite of Asmo's thrusts.

"What?! You're going to fall asleep?! I thought you said you could keep up with me.”

"Let's call it a day." You muttered pressing your hands against his chest as if to push him away.

"Oh, I guess I've been too rough on you, haven't I?" Asmodeus pulled out of you and sat back, an unreadable expression on his face.

You watched him touch himself through heavy lashes. His yellow eyes looked so malicious as he glared at you, tongue licking your blood off his fingers while he pleasured himself with his other hand. It was at moments like these when you realised you were playing with fire. And you were bound to get burned at some point.

When you woke up the next day, your neck hurt. You felt the bite marks with your fingers, dry blood on your skin. 

"This was never about you loving me, was it? You just want to prove a point."

Asmodeus didn't say anything, but you could hear slick noises behind you as well as weak moans.

"You may think you have the upper hand but I won't cave in." You said before rolling over to face him. As expected, he was still touching himself, but something wasn't right. There was cum on the sheets, and on his legs and stomach.

"Asmodeus, what the fuck?"

He looked at you as if he couldn't see you.

"I'm not feeling well. I need my beauty sleep."

"Then stop beating your meat and get some sleep, you sick fuck."

Asmodeus chuckled weakly, but kept stroking himself silently. He looked pale, your blood strikingly dark on his complexion. 

"Are you feeling ill?" You asked.

He nodded slightly.

"My sin requires me to taint as many souls as I can with my lust. I haven't done that in days, since I'm bound to you and can't go to the human world to have my way with my worshipers."

You stared at him vacantly without saying a word.

"Honestly, I thought you'd get tired and give up this nonsense before I got to this point, but turns out you're a sex freak too." He giggled softly. "You'll take anything I throw at you as long as I don't leave your side, you fucking psycho." 

"Just tell me what I'm supposed to do to make you feel better and I'll do it."

"A threesome with two virgins would be ideal." He bared his fangs when he smiled mockingly. "I'll let you watch."

You kept silent again, looking away from him. 

"Suck me off, please, it'll make me feel better. I'm too weak to make myself cum again. Then go find me a pure soul I can corrupt." He paused dramatically. "Unless you want me to die, that is. I'm willing to die for you if that's what you want."

"You have some fucking nerve telling me you'll die unless you cheat on me." You snapped. "I'm not falling for this one, it's ridiculous."

"You can use our pact to know whether I'm lying or not. But that would mean you don't trust me with my word." Asmodeus looked away briefly, brow furrowed in frustration, then gave you a long, cold glare. "You really think I'd lie about something like this? Why are we in a relationship if you don't even trust my word?"

"Just shut up. I'll suck you off if that's what you want, but cut the bullshit already. You're mine and I'm not letting you fuck someone else."

You felt your body shake in angry impotence as you dug your nails into his hips with all your might before taking him into your mouth. Asmodeus hissed a little but didn't complain. You sucked him off roughly and he trembled and panted pitifully the whole time, his hands too weak to hold onto you. When he twitched inside your mouth, spilling his release, he passed out.

You waved a hand in front of his face, half expecting him to be pretending. When he didn't react, you started to panic. You yelled at him and tried to shake him awake, but nothing worked. So you took a sheet and tried to clean his body up a little, then covered him with a clean one and got dressed hurriedly before running out of the room to go look for Lucifer. Since he was the eldest and acted like a father figure for everyone in the House, you assumed he'd know what to do. Thankfully, you found him in his study. He gave you a displeased glare the second you showed up. 

"What is it?" He looked you up and down with arrogance, clearly wondering what your current state of dishevelment was due to.

You explained the situation to him, trying your best to spare him the sexual details as much as you could. Lucifer shook his head in disapproval but agreed to follow you to Asmo's room. He seemed more curious than worried.

As soon as he entered the room, Lucifer scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Did my dear brother finally fuck himself to death?" He said nonchalantly as he walked up to the bed. "What an annoyance you are." He whispered to him as he forced one of Asmo's eyes open, his other hand searching for his pulse.

"Is he…?" The words got caught up in your throat.

"He's alive." Lucifer assured. "But his vital energy is probably low. Just let him rest. And make sure you break that exclusivity nonsense you've forced him into."

You nodded hesitantly.

"Did you know this could happen to him?" You dared to ask.

Lucifer shook his head slightly, a gloved hand resting on his chest.

"Despite his being so open about his flings, he's rather reserved when it comes to the implications of his sin. I had my suspicions that his vital energy depended on the corruption of the souls. But I wasn't certain. I'd suggest doing as he says. He should be fine after tainting as many virgin souls as he needs." Lucifer paused for a moment. "Although bringing him a pure soul should prove more effective."

"What do you mean by a pure soul?"

Lucifer eyed you for a moment as if you were a dim-witted child, then said:

"An angel."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ 

Yes, Simeon may appear in chapter 3 👀 Let me know if you guys want me to continue.

Masterlist

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 1, Episode 2: Second Chance at First Line (Part Two)

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader (eventually)

P.S. Stiles and Scott are really bad at keeping secrets and Jackson is a suspicious asshole.

                                                     -----------------

I stared down at my algebra homework, the numbers blurring together until I couldn’t read them anymore. I blinked a few times in an effort to clear my vision. My head was killing me. I groaned and slammed my pencil down onto the desk in front of me. I’d been working on this for almost an hour now, but I couldn’t quiet my mind. It was already dark outside and I wasn’t even close to being done.

Every time I closed my eyes, gruesome images flashed behind them. Scott and Stiles walking through the forest with shovels, half a body buried in the earth, mangled animals.

I rubbed at my temples and let my head fall down onto the textbook in front of me. As I rested for a moment, I felt myself becoming faint. My eyes fluttered open and black dots floated around my bedroom. I cursed myself for fighting it this long. I knew that always made it worse.

All I could do was whimper as my limbs grew weaker. My eyes rolled back involuntarily and my phone clattered onto the hardwood floor. After that, everything went dark.

I woke to the sound of voices. I was laying on my side, one arm outstretched above my head while the other lay against my stomach. I pried my heavy eyelids open and the whole world tilted. My stomach churned painfully as a wave of nausea crashed over me. It felt like I’d just been hit by a semi-truck. My muscles protested as I forced myself up off the cold ground.

Wait. Cold...ground...

Shit. I was back in the forest. Why did it always have to be the forest? I couldn’t sleepwalk to one of my friends houses or something? My head was no longer pounding, so I knew I was in the place it wanted me to be. Why, though, I had no idea.

“What if he comes back?” It was Scott’s voice that drifted toward me with the wind.

Judging by the volume, he couldn’t be far.

“I have a plan for that.” Stiles responded, sounding slightly out of breath.

I wiggled my fingers as I waited for my body to regain it’s strength. It always took a minute or so after an episode.

“Which is?” Scott was gasping gently too.

Once I felt confident that I wouldn’t face plant, I used a nearby tree to help me get to my feet. I took a few slow steps forward to test myself. Satisfied that I was mostly back to normal, I headed in their direction. Goosebumps erupted on my skin as a soft breeze brushed against me. Once again, I was only wearing a t-shirt and it was freezing out here.

“You run one way, I run the other. Whoever he catches first...too bad.”

I climbed up a small hill and saw Scott and Stiles kneeling before a large hole in the ground. Two shovels lay discarded on the dirt beside them. I swallowed thickly. So, that part of my vision had already happened.

“I hate that plan!”

I didn’t want to waste anymore time. They might think I’m a psycho for sneaking up on them, but I had to find out why they were so hellbent on solving a murder case. I knew my mind wouldn’t let me rest until I figured it out. And I wanted to get home, so I needed to act fast. Within seconds I was standing on the other side of the hole they’d obviously just dug.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I crossed my arms to maintain some of my body heat as I started shivering.

“Gah!” Stiles jumped aggressively at my voice and fell face first into the hole.

I winced and peered inside to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.

“Y/N? How-how did you find us?” Scott bolted to his feet and looked at me with wide, nervous eyes.

I was honestly surprised he knew my name. I’d been around him plenty of times with Allison, but never really talked to him directly until now.

“That’s...” I hesitated. It wasn’t like I could tell them what actually happened. “Not important. What are you doing?”

“Why are you everywhere?” Stiles popped back up like a whack-o-mole and braced his hands on the dirt edge of the hole.

“What?” I asked dumbly, my own eyes widening.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you spying on us all week.” He wagged a finger at me like a disgruntled father.

My cheeks grew hot under the accusation. I really didn’t want them to think I was some weirdo stalker. I tried to keep the rising defensiveness out of my voice. “It’s not my fault you two talk about halved bodies and animal bites in public.”

“You heard that?” Stiles dropped his hand, his eyes twitching slightly.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “It was kind of hard not to. You really think Derek killed that girl?”

Scott took a step toward me with a hand outstretched. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to intimidate me or reassure me with that gesture. Either way, he looked close to a panic attack.

“Y/N, you can’t be here. You need to go home.” His brown eyes were boring into mine, practically begging me to listen.

I frowned. I did not take orders from anyone but my mother, occasionally. I closed the distance between us with a few long strides.

“Not until I get some answers. I’d like to know if I accepted a ride from a murderer. Why are you two so interested, anyway? And talking about scents and bite marks?”

“Oh, God.” Scott instantly started spiraling. He backed away from me and shoved his hands through his hair. He was muttering something to himself that I couldn’t make out.

“Uh...guys.” Stiles’ shaky voice fluttered up from the hole he was still standing in. I moved my attention from Scott’s freak out to see what he wanted.

I looked inside and let out a loud shriek at the sight before me. One lifeless eye stared up toward the sky, attached to the upper body of a wolf. A very much dead wolf. That was cut in half. Bile rose up my throat and I gagged, staggering away from it.

Stiles pulled himself out of the hole and Scott ran to my other side.

“What the hell is that?” He yelled, still freaking out but probably because of the corpse in front of us now.

“It’s a wolf.” I deadpanned, still staring at it. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the gruesome sight.

“Yeah, we can see that.” Stiles sent a glare my way and leaned over me to look at Scott. “I thought you said you smelled blood. Like human blood.”

Did he just say...?

Scott took a deep breath to calm himself down. “I told you something was different.”

I looked back and forth between them, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“It doesn’t make sense.” Stiles threw a hand up in frustration.

“We gotta get out of here.” Scott just shook his head and picked up one of the shovels from the ground.

“Yeah. Okay. Help me cover it up.” Stiles grabbed the other shovel and was about to stick it into the loose dirt when something caught his eye.

My heart started pounding with uncertainty. What if it was Derek coming back? If he saw us on his property and he actually was a murderer, I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to add three more bodies to this grave.

“What’s wrong?” I breathed, unable to wait any longer for him to tell us what he was seeing.

“You see that flower?” He pointed somewhere in front of us.

True to his word, there was a single flower sticking up from the ground a few feet away. There were a few small green leaves at its base, and light purple pedals that formed an almost perfect cylinder at the top.

“What about it?” Scott sounded annoyed that he was stalling the clean up process.

“I think it’s wolfsbane.” Stiles was still staring at the flower with wide eyes.

Wolfsbane? Like the plant from werewolf mythology? There was no way that could be a real thing.

“What’s that?” I let out a sigh of relief when Scott asked the question, glad I wasn’t the only one confused right now.

Stiles’ brows rose and his lips parted in scrutiny as he gave Scott a long look. “Haven’t you ever seen The Wolfman? Lon Chaney Jr? Claude Rains?”

He shook his head. Stiles’ eyes snapped to mine. “The original classic werewolf movie?”

“Of course I’ve seen it.” I admitted. I’d always loved old films, and I actually had to watch that one for a class at one of my old schools.

Stiles sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment before turning his attention back to Scott. “You’re so unprepared for this.”

My mind was racing with questions. The way they were talking...it was as if something else was going on with all of this. Something other than human. I’d already heard Scott talking about smelling and hearing things he shouldn’t be able to...

Was he...?

Stiles plucked the flower from the ground, a big clump of dirt coming with it. That’s not all that emerged from the ground, though. A piece of rope was seemingly attached to the roots. He looked back at us in question and both Scott and I shrugged.

He pulled on the rope and followed along the path it was creating in the dirt. It became clear almost instantly that it had been buried all the way around the grave, in a huge spiral. Stiles continued walking until the entire length of rope was wrapped around his hands. I heard a soft gasp from beside me and watched as Scott stood to his feet slowly.

“Stiles.” He muttered, staring right into the grave with a horrified glint in his eyes.

I looked down and yelped, nearly shitting myself at the transformation that had happened. The severed upper body of a woman was now lying where the wolf had just been. Stiles joined us quickly.

“Oh, whoa.” He stumbled back at the sight.

The three of us stared down into the hole in stunned silence for a few long moments. I took a step backward to put some distance between myself and the body. This was all too much. What I just witnessed is not possible. It shouldn’t be possible. But it had happened right before my eyes. Wolves don’t just turn into people.

I wrapped my arms around myself tighter, feeling my entire body start to tremble. I didn’t know whether it was from the cold or the events of the last few minutes.

“Y/N?” Stiles suddenly called out as he noticed that I was retreating.

At this point, I wasn’t sure if either of the boys in front of me were entirely human. There had to be some kind of supernatural shit going on here, and I wanted no part of it. I just moved. I couldn’t let us be forced out of another town already.

“I—I’m gonna...I have to...” My teeth were chattering now and my words kept getting all jumbled up. 

“We can explain.” Scott went back to having a major freak out. “All of it.” 

I didn’t really want him to, to be honest. I’d seen enough to know that I didn’t want to be involved anymore. I just hoped my mind would be satisfied at this point and not force my hand again. I couldn’t help it if I just kept showing up places, but at least while conscious, I would be keeping my distance from now on. 

My shoulders tensed as I felt something heavy wrap around me. I’d been so lost in thought that I hadn’t even noticed Stiles walking toward me and offering his jacket. My muscles instantly relaxed under the comforting warmth and I sighed tiredly. Even if I wanted to get away from them, I wasn’t about to turn away a coat right now. 

And, God, it smelled good. 

I sent him a small, grateful smile and his eyes flickered around my face quickly as if checking for signs of insanity. 

“I’ll drive you home.” I sighed in relief that he’d somehow read my mind and nodded. My shaky hands pulled his jacket tighter around my torso as I followed the two of them toward a trailhead. 

I chewed on my lip nervously as I sat in the back of Stiles’ blue Jeep. He and Scott had been throwing ideas around about wolfsbane and it’s uses since we pulled out of Beacon Hills Preserve, but I hadn’t said a word. I was still trying to process everything I just saw while coming up with a plan to avoid these two for the rest of my life. 

“Maybe it’s a special skill, like something you have to learn.” My attention snapped back to the front of the car with Stiles’ words and I realized I had no idea what they were talking about. 

“I’ll put it on my to-do list. I already need to figure out how the hell I’m playing this game tonight.” Scott barked back, seeming a little breathless. I leaned forward a bit and watched as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. 

“Maybe it��s different for girl werewol...” Stiles let his last word trail off. His head jutted forward and he rolled his lips inward as he visibly cringed. 

A heavy silence filled the car. His eyes fluttered and snapped to mine in the rear view mirror. My jaw was slack as I stared right back. Did he just...was he going to...

“Stiles, finish that thought.” My voice was barely above a whisper. I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach as I said his name aloud for the first time. 

He hesitated, chewing on his lips in thought. He looked between Scott and I. Back and forth. I saw Scott shake his head minutely and clenched my jaw shut. If they didn’t tell me what the hell was going on soon, I couldn’t be held accountable for my irresponsible actions. Like jumping out of a moving vehicle. 

“I...I was going to say...” I started taking off his jacket as he tried to think of a believable lie. 

Yeah, I was done. The second we slowed down enough I would be removing myself from this situation and never speaking to them again. 

“Stop that!” Scott suddenly yelled and gripped his hair, so I froze with one arm free. 

“Stop what?” Stiles’ fingers tensed on the steering wheel as his head snapped to the right. 

“Talking!” He was breathing heavily now and clutching his hands into fists. I pressed my back into the seat behind me, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. 

“Are you okay?” Dumb question, Stiles. He was clearly very much not okay. 

He began hyperventilating and pulling at his seatbelt. “No! No, I’m not okay! I am so far from being okay!”

Good God. I’m going to die. 

“You know, you’re going to have to accept this, Scott. Sooner or later.” Stiles’ spoke with that parental tone again and all I could think was that this was so not the time for a lecture. 

“I can’t!” Scott’s voice was thicker now, more guttural. I pushed myself against the door to my left and gripped the handle. 

“Well you’re gonna have to!” Stiles was yelling now too, only making the situation worse. 

“No, I can’t breathe.” Scott slammed one of his hands into the roof of the Jeep with a loud groan and I yelped in surprise. I covered my mouth and froze in fear. My heart was racing in my chest. He was really freaking out, to the point of potential violence. A small car was not the place to be with someone like that.

Suddenly, jumping out seemed like a really good idea. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Stiles swerved to the left and I lost my hold on the door handle. My shoulder slammed into the plush cushion beside me and the seatbelt dug painfully into my hips. 

“Pull over.” Scott demanded, breathing heavily. He hunched over and groaned again. 

“Why? What’s happening?” Stiles was watching him carefully instead of focusing on the road. 

“Oh my God, Stiles! Just do it!” I shrieked, wanting nothing more than to get away from them both. 

Just then, Scott peered into the duffle bag resting on the center console between them and...growled? 

“You kept it?!” His voice was deeper than I had ever heard it and raw with emotion. Anger, mostly. But there were traces of anxiety and fear too. 

“What was I supposed to do with it?” Stiles’ voice cracked with panic as he continued to race on down the road. 

Scott moaned loudly. It sounded like he was in agony. He lowered his head to his chest before snapping it back up quickly. I gasped in shock and scrambled as far backward as I could at the sight of his face. Here eyes were no longer their normal brown, but now looked more like fireflies as they glowed a bright yellow. His canines elongated into pointy spikes. 

“Stop the car!” The metal cage around us shook with his intense scream. 

All I could do was stare at him with wide eyes as Stiles’ skidded to a violent stop in the middle of the road. Thankfully, no one was coming at the moment. He immediately jumped out of the driver’s seat, taking the duffle bag with him. He chucked it over a nearby hill as hard as he could, and it disappeared instantly between the trees. 

“Okay, we’re good.” He called before walking back to the car. 

I hesitantly let my eyes trail back to the passenger seat. I had no idea what I would see sitting there. Would it be Scott? Or some kind of monster?

“Oh, no...” Stiles muttered, noticing at the same time as me that he was gone. 

I tried to catch my breath as I unbuckled myself and fell out of the Jeep. At once, I was both relieved that he was gone and worried about him. The chilly night air helped shock me back into reality. That really just happened. 

“Werewolf.” I whispered, breathless. My eyes met Stiles’, which were practically bulging out of his head at my declaration. “You were going to say werewolf.” 

                                                 ------------------

I watched a cloud of condensed air gather in front of my lips as I exhaled and shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat. It was way colder than I’d expected. Part of me wished I’d taken Allison’s advice and worn a scarf. 

“What do you think she’s saying to him?” She asked from beside me, watching Lydia invade Scott’s personal space on the field. 

I had no idea, and I didn't really care. I had so many other things to worry about. Like the fact that he’s a fucking werewolf and we just discovered half of a dead body on Derek Hale’s property a couple hours ago. 

I just shook my head. “I don’t know, probably bribing him to pass to Jackson.”

After losing Scott, Stiles drove me the rest of the way home. He’d practically threatened me when informing me that I couldn’t tell a single soul what happened tonight. I caught him looking up at me from the bench and swallowed nervously. I really wanted to tell Allison. She was practically dating him, for God’s sake. She deserved to know.

I still had no idea where Scott had gone. Either way, he was here at the lacrosse team’s first game. Something in my gut told me that he shouldn’t be here. That it was a terrible idea and bad things were going to happen. 

Lydia joined us in the stands, looking smug. Allison asked her what she’d been talking to Scott about, and she played coy. I kept my eyes trained forward. I just had such a bad feeling. 

The game started out slow for Beacon Hills. We were currently behind a few points, and time was almost up. I noticed that Scott and Jackson kept ramming into each other and intentionally keeping the ball out of the other’s hands. It probably had something to do with the way Jackson had threatened Scott about his alleged drug use in the hallway.

Suddenly, Scott got good. Really good. He was catching the ball left and right, and making every goal. The stands were erupting in cheers at each successful goal he made, but I was watching him closely. He seemed agitated. He was breathing heavily and hunching over every few seconds. I glanced down at Stiles and saw that he was chewing on one of his gloves nervously. 

“That’s it, Jackson! Get fired up!” The coach yelled excitedly from the sidelines. 

“Here, help me with this.” Lydia pulled a sign out of seemingly nowhere and grabbed mine and Allison’s hands.

I stood up and peered around to see what it said. In big bubble letters it read, “We Luv U Jackson!”

As if sensing it, Scott’s head snapped in our direction. Stiles whipped around and cringed before turning back to the field. I watched Scott’s shoulders heave as he took long, labored breaths. He was about to shift, I could feel it. Any minute now, the entire school would know that he’s a werewolf.

He caught a pass and practically jumped over another players shoulders. My lips parted in surprise. That was actually kind of badass. He weaved past every player that tried getting in his way and somehow scared them enough to start passing directly to him. 

Then, he threw a ball so hard that it broke through our opponents goalie net. 

The crowd exploded with pride, but I was frozen. That is not good. There was no way a normal person would be able to do something like that. He was going to get himself caught. 

Time was running out. There were only six seconds left on the clock. Scott managed to score the winning goal and everyone, including Stiles, cheered happily. I watched as Scott threw one of his gloves off and gasped at the sight of brown claws at the tips of his fingers. The people around me started ambushing to field to celebrate. I quickly lost sight of Allison and Lydia. 

I managed to see Scott bolting toward the locker rooms through the dense crowd. Stiles seemed to notice too and went chasing after him. I wanted to help, but I knew I couldn’t just run into the boy’s locker room. I would have to trust that they could handle it. 

I turned to walk down to the field, but stopped when I caught sight of Jackson holding Scott’s discarded glove. My eyes widened as I watched him inspect it. He was paying close attention to the ends of each finger, where claws had poked through. He looked around, probably trying to find Scott. 

This is so, so not good.

Episode 2, Part One      Episode 3

[guildedlily6]

You Plus Me Equals Soulmates Part 1 (Peter Parker x Reader Soulmate!AU)

Summary: Y/N goes to Midtown High School with Peter Parker.  Her best friend, Liz believes in soulmates while Y/N finds it rather childish.  Will Y/N change her mind about soulmates when she sees Peter’s tattoo?

Word Count: 937 (Sorry its so short.)

Author’s Note:  I might make this into a series depending on how this goes and whether I continue to have random inspiration at 2am to write.  If you like it, let me know and I’ll make a part 2 as soon as I can.  Also in this universe, the avengers still exist and Peter is still Spider-Man and the plot will most likely remain the same, just with the added Soulmates!AU.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this writing.

Warning: swearing that’s it for this chapter

-------------------

The simple equals sign on my wrist is what has defined my entire life so far.  My soulmate.  The one who, once we share our tattoos, I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with.  What a load of bullshit.  My friend, Liz, doesn’t agree with my hot take on soulmates.

“Can you believe it?  Peter Parker actually asked me to homecoming,” Liz said, getting her backpack out of her locker.  

“Yeah.”  Again, I don’t care much for the soulmates-destined-until-you-die trope that the whole world had grown accustomed to.  Liz Allen, the girl everyone loves, my best friend, is a sucker for finding her soulmate and falling in love.  And out of all of the male specimens she could’ve chosen at Midtown High School, Liz thinks Peter Parker is her soulmate.  I mean, sure he has that nice chocolate brown, curly hair going for him, but the guy is a dork.  I walked by his locker the other day and him and his nerd friend were talking about building the Lego Death Star.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a bit of a nerd myself, but really?

“Who are you going to go with?” Liz asks.

“Uh...I mean I was going to go with you, but third-wheeling isn’t exactly what I wanted for my sophomore homecoming.”

“Oh, come on.  You could go with Flash.”  Flash?  Really?  Is she suggesting that I would ever stoop so low as to go to homecoming with Flash?

“What, as a double date?  Doesn’t Flash like to torment Parker every day?”  During the passing periods, Flash was never short of new ideas on how to make Parker’s life a living hell, from what I’ve seen.  Personally, I’d like the idea of forcefully shoving my fist into Flash’s asshole face, but I don’t plan on getting expelled this year.

“He probably wouldn’t be like that at homecoming,” Liz says with a hint of a lie in her voice.

Speak of the devil, Flash’s voice is heard throughout the hallway: “Penis Parker!”  This was followed by a forceful slam of Parker’s locker.  I turn around and watch the daily scene of Flash taunting Parker while Parker seems unfazed.  It used to affect him more, but ever since a small while ago it’s like the dork gained some confidence.  Good for him.

Flash finishes his persecution and strolls on over to me.

“Hey so, about that homecoming thing,” Flash looks behind him for some friend support.  His friends raise their eyebrows and some make suggestive comments.  “You wanna go with me?”

What a lame-ass way to ask a girl out.  

“Uh no,” I answered coolly.  

Flash looks genuinely hurt for a split second before retorting, “alright, whore.”

His friends laugh and add to his dumb come-back or whatever the hell that was.  Beside me, Liz shifts uncomfortably, obviously knowing that was a classic boy-who-isn’t-used-to-getting-turned-down-gets-turned-down move, but doesn’t say anything.

“That was uh...That’s not n-nice,”  None other than Peter Parker says.  To say the least, I am flabbergasted.

“What was that?”  Flash says as he whips around to face Parker.  Why the hell is he standing up for me?  This kid gets bullied by this guy on the daily.

“I said she can say no to you if she wants to,”  Parker blurts.  “And if I was her, I wouldn’t want to go to homecoming with you either...I guess.”

Flash and his back-up bros just laugh and walk past him, spitting things like “Penis Parker” and “dumb-ass” at him.  Liz and I stand still in slight shock.  “I don’t need someone to back me up,”  I chide at Parker.

“What she means is thanks, Peter.  Flash is such an asshole, right?”  Liz practically has heart eyes.  But whatever.  I guess it was a brave thing to do for an awkward dork like him.

“Uh y-yeah.  No problem,”  He replies.  Looking directly at him, I notice for a half of a second that he’s been staring at me, not Liz.  Stupidly, I find myself glancing towards his right wrist as an instinct.  Liz hasn’t seen Parker’s tattoo yet.  That’s usually something for first dates, but I find myself curious as to what symbol is on Parker’s wrist.

There’s an awkward silence before Ned, Parker’s friend, plod’s up to us.

“Oh hey, Liz and Y/N.  Whatcha up to?  Peter and I were going to build the Lego Death Star tonight, but we only have like two people.  Would you two want to help?”  Ned’s tone is cheery and inviting, but I think I’d rather memorize every element on the periodic table than build a Lego Death Star with the two nerds of Midtown High. “Oh uh...Yeah we’d like to do that,”  Liz says, sounding uncertain.  Her and I both know we aren’t people to be found playing with Lego on a Friday night.

“Uh actually, I have homework-”  I try to lie before I’m interrupted.  

“That’s okay -- Peter and I were going to study a bit as well,”  Ned replies before I can protest.  Peter is looking longingly out of the exit door glass as if he wishes to dig a hole outside and bury himself out of embarrassment.  Something about this look tells me he didn’t give Ned permission to invite two females to their lego party.

“Great!  What time should we come over and where?”  Liz asks cheerfully.

“Around 5pm.  I can text you the location,”  Ned says as he hands over his phone for Liz to put her number in.  I seriously regret every decision I’ve ever made that led up to this point in my life.  Or do I?

----------------------

Thanks for reading!

Part 2 

[gumnut-logic]

Fanfic Asks 2

This one is for @hedwigstalons who asked for A F L Q along with @fictivekaleidoscope , @willow-salix , @coffee-and-lenna and @janetm74 who all asked for Q. You guys are so kind to me ::hugs you lots::

-o-o-o-

A. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek: TOS…I’m a Trekkie from way back. Discovered it in 1986 through books in my school library (it wasn’t on TV and hadn’t been since 1975 of which I had the vaguest of memories…and yes, I’m old :P ). I wrote my first fanfic as a teenager, by hand in a notebook. It was submitted to the local club printed fanzine (which I still have lying around here somewhere along with a stack of classic printed zines). Looking back, it had a strong concept behind it, but it was horribly written. I do not have an electronic copy, though sometime ago I thought to re-write it, but never got around to it. You can find my second ever fanfic, written when I was eighteen on FF.net – Goodbye, Spock – it was a movie tag, written in early 1991.

F. How long have you been writing fanfic?

Hmm, I think I’ve given that massive number away in the last question :D Yeah, since I was about eighteen, possibly a little earlier. ::does the math:: Okay, that number is scary. Next year it will be thirty years since my first fanfic ::headdesk:: but having said that, I didn’t really start writing until the internet arrived with my first computer and maturity gave me the ability to finish things (sometimes). I really jumped in with Stargate SG-1 fandom in 2003. From that point on I wrote continuously until I had children in 2008. Then I stopped and didn’t really start up again until July 2018 when TAG hit me like a ton of bricks. The last two years have been amazing and I have learnt so much.

Oh, and if anyone ever says writing fanfic is wasting time or will never get you anywhere, writing fanfic and participating in fandom has done wonders for introvert little me:

Led to me getting my job – writing is a skill that can get you many places

Taught me how to blog and how to manage a blog – valuable skills in or out of business

Teaches you multiple online tools – chat, publishing and other multimedia applications – you’d be surprised how many people are not comfortable using many online tools. I use my experience every day on the library floor.

Allowed an introvert to reach out and learn how to converse and gain confidence in conversation – online interactions has many advantages

Is excellent for mental health…and equally unhealthy if you’re not careful – which leads to learning about yourself and managing conflict (unfortunately…which is why I have zero tolerance for fandom wank and will not participate in or create nastiness – I’m here for fun and to hopefully make things more fun, not miserable)

I’ve learnt to type. My first novel length fic was 75,000 words long and hand written before being typed into the computer – let’s just say that that three months back in 2003 finally enabled me to break the touch type barrier :D Which is a skill that I use every day.

If some one does say you’re wasting your time, they obviously have no idea what they are talking about – ignore them. As long as you’re balancing your fic writing with life in general, things are okay (I got addicted at one point and things were not okay, so don’t do that).

In summary, apparently I’m old, been writing forever and have found it a very valuable exercise which will no doubt lead me even further into interesting places.

 L. What is your favorite fic idea that you don’t think you’ll ever write?

I tend to write most things or forget them. There was that random fanfic idea I posted a few days back. It’s a cool idea, but I don’t have time at the moment. ::opens ups fic planning book::

Ideas sitting, not yet started, but might be:

Eos gets hacked by the Hood and injures two brothers before John realises it and saves her.

Episode tag to 3.21 that explores the Mechanic

Alan’s Vlog: I have a note for the next story that I haven’t yet written.

The Kermadec sequel

A fic idea I had the other day inspired by a news article – that one might actually get written at some point.

A sequel to V. T. Green (which apparently is my most popular fic) – which I had a concept for, but haven’t written down, by the looks of it. Oops.

A sequel to Bo where Virg gets buried in an avalanche – this one was started.

Eh, I have lots of ideas, most get lost in the mess that exists in my head. Sometimes I write a note down, but then I forget what the note means. I usually have to grab the inspiration when it strikes.

 Q. If you could pick one fic of yours to rewrite, which would it be?

Love and Sacrifice – I wrote that fic out of order and smushed it together and it shows. It is also full of technical holes. The plotline sucks because I wanted a certain scene and forced it. But it is such an integral piece of the series that I can’t alter it much. The whole of Warm Rain was written in bits. I usually write in order and that experiment shows that I’m not great at writing out of sequence. Most of the fics work okay, but Love and Sacrifice, while having some good scenes in it, is poorly constructed.

A Little Distraction and a Little Too Much Attention suffers from self-indulgence. Virgil wasn’t supposed to get hurt – I should have stopped at A Little Distraction, but apparently, I can’t help myself and the results weren’t great.

Two fics instead of one…there are more, but I’m not supposed to publicly criticise my fics – I do enough of that in my own head :D

-o-o-o-

EDIT: @weirdburketeer reminded me of something I meant to list but forgot regarding the above reasons why writing fanfic is not a waste of time.

The friendships! My goodness, how did I miss that? I flew to Sydney to meet a good fanfic writing friend in both 2004 and 2005, another friend flew all the way from Chicago (as part of a business trip) to Australia and made a special trip to Adelaide, just to meet up with me. It was frickin’ amazing!

And this fandom....I have met some absolutely amazing people here. You guys have influenced me like you wouldn’t believe. As I have said on many occasions, this fandom is just amazing ::drags you all into a massive group hug:: And yes, I have some fantastic friendships forming here ::loves you guys to bits::

[weeb-alcove]

2020 English Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL77pv5URcE8ZBT4DTVUYXWSn9BPeC4JOL

In English:

100 Ways - Jackson Wang

21 - Gracie Abrams

88rising ♪ from their album Head in the Clouds ♬ History La Cienega

♪ from their album Head in the Clouds II ♬ 2 the Face  La La Lost You Need Is Your Love 

Aliso - Dylan Jordan

A Little Messed Up - June

All the Stars - Kendrick Lamar & SZA

All You Need to Know - Gryffin & Slander & Calle Lehmann

Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows & Clairo

Ariana Grande Goodnight n Go  Stuck with U

♪ from her album Positions ♬ Just Like Magic Motive  Positions

At Least I Look Cool - Sasha Sloan

Au/ra Broken Ideas

Ava Max Kings & Queens  Slow Dance

BØRNS American Money Faded Heart Past Lives

Baby I’m Yours - Arctic Monkeys

Backyard Boy - Claire Rosinkranz

Bad - Lennon Stella

Bad Idea - pxzvc & Shiloh Dynasty

Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet

Bedsheets - Tia

Be Okay - Jordan Fisher

Blackbear ♪ from his album everything means nothing ♬ Half Alive If I Were U  me & ur ghost Queen of Broken Hearts

Boy Pablo Beach House Dance, Baby!  Hey Girl

Breaking Me - Topic & A7S

Breathe Again - Corbyn

Bright Side of the Moon - Christian French

Broken Hearts - Davai & Lovespeake

Broken Record - Golden

Busy - Axel Mansoor

Call - Ocean Heights

Cancer - Twenty One Pilots

Candy Choppa - Warrenisyellow & Chasu

Cardiac Arrest - Bad Suns

Carsick - Maro

Cheat Codes Between Our Hearts  Stay

Choke - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Cigarettes - Carlie Hanson

Clean - Hey Violet

Cologne - Alec Wigdahl

Come Through - Eric Nam

Conan Gray ♪ from his album Kid Krow ♬ Affluenza  Checkmate  Comfort Crowd  Fight or Flight  Little League Wish You Were Sober 

Cool Out - Imagine Dragons

Cutepink - Lukey & Raphael

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

Daydreamer - Kidsnot$aints

dhruv Double Take  Moonlight

Doin’ Time - Lana Del Rey

Do You Love Me - Stephanie Poetri

Dreams Where Ur Murdered - X Lovers

Drunk Me - Davin Kingston

Dua Lipa Un Dia (One Day) 

♪ from her album Future Nostalgia ♬ Break My Heart  Love Again 

Far Away - Qaayel, Cnebce

Far Away - Utah & Kyl

Fletcher ♪ from her album The S(ex) Tapes ♬ If I Hated You Shh… Don’t Say It Silence  The One

Free Love - Honne

Gallant ♪ from his album Sweet Insomnia ♬ Compromise Sweet Insomnia

Get You - Daniel Caesar & Kali Uchis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Halsey Be Kind  Graveyard

Harry Styles ♪ from his album Fine Line ♬ Sunflower, Vol. 6  Watermelon Sugar

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Hell and High Water - Major Lazer & Diplo & Alessia Cara

Holiday - Lil Nas X

Homage - Mild High Club

Honey - Tyler Sellers

Hot Tub Dream Machine - Tobi Lou

Hummingbird - Mark Diamond

Hush - Ricky Himself & Kailee Morgue

I Don’t Know Why (Ellis Remix) - NOTD & Astrid S & Ellis

I Don’t Want No Champagne - Chimmi

i go high, you go low - Matt Sato

ily (I Love You Baby) - Surf Mesa & Emilee

Intentions - Justin Bieber & Quavo

Isaac Dunbar God, This Feels Good Intimate Moments Miss America Woman On the Hills 

♪ from his album Isaac’s Insects ♬ Comme Des Garcons Makeup Drawer Scorton’s Creek 

Jaden ♪ from his album CTV3: Cool Tape Vol. 3 ♬  Everything  Falling for You LUCY! 

Joji ♪ from his album Nectar ♬ Daylight Gimme Love  Pretty Boy Run 

July on Film - Zeauxi

Just Buried! - iamnotshane

Justice Carradine Limbo  Necessary Evil 

K/DA ♪ from their album All Out ♬ More  Villain

Keshi Don’t Leave 

♪ from his album always ♬ Always Drunk

Khalid Be Like That  Off the Grid  Suncity 

Lauv Mine (You Can’t Find Love in Mollywood) Slow Grenade Who

Little Mix ♪ from their album Confetti ♬ Not a Pop Song  Sweet Melody

Loneliness for Love - lovelytheband

Lonely - Finding Hope

Lostboycrow Candy Wine Devil’s in the Backseat  The World’s Always Been Ending

Lotus Inn - Why Don’t We

Love Birds - wimp

Love in My Pocket - Rich Brian & Eaj

Love Lost - Harbour

Love Me Like a Friend - Fly By Midnight

Mad at Disney - Salem Ilese

Madison Beer All Day and Night  Hurts Like Hell Selfish

Magic in the Hamptons - Lil Yachty & Social House

MAX Naked Take Over 

♪ from his album Colour Vision ♬ Blueberry Eyes New Life Working for the Weekend 

Medicine - Shawn Wasabi & Tia Scola

Monsta X ♪ from their album All About Luv ♬ Got My Number Happy Without Me Love U 

Moonmap - Meego

My Favourite Clothes - Rini

Natalie Don’t - Raye

Neon Trees ♪ from their album I Can Feel You Forgetting Me ♬ New Best Friend  Nights 

New Hope Club Paycheck Worse

♪ from their album New Hope Club ♬ Flight Away Just to Find Love Know Me Too Well Remember We Broke Up in a Dream

Next to You - Becky G & Digital Farm Animals & Rvssian

Nico Collins Happy?  Our Way Out We’ll Never Make It 

Niki Dancing with the Devil I Like U  Spell Sugarplum Elegy Vintage

♪ from her album Moonchild ♬ Nightcrawlers Plot Twist Tide 

Ok On Your Own - mxmtoon & Carly Rae Jepsen

Older - Shallou & Daya & Felix Cartal

On the Low - Justin Park

Paradise - Lil Uzi Vert

Paragraphs - Luke Chiang

Peach Tree Rascals Mariposa  Not Ok 

Pink Sweat$ At My Worst Icy

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

Post Malone (GATTUSO Remix) - Sam Feldt & RANI

Pure Imagination - Unclenathannn & Shiloh Dynasty

Quinn XCII ♪ from his album A Letter To My Younger Self ♬ Coffee  Sleep While I Drive 

R3HAB Am I the Only One Dream of You  Make Friends One More Dance Whiplash

Rabbit Hole - AViVA

Real Love - Rei Brown

Rockets - Waki

Ruel Empty Love Up to Something 

Runaway - Tiffany Young & Babyface

San Francisco - Galantis & Sofia Carson

Scrambled - Havelock

Selena Gomez Boyfriend It Ain’t Me 

Shawn Mendes ♪ from his album Wonder ♬ 305 Teach Me How to Love 

Someone Else - Duncan Laurence

Space Makes Me Sad - Fiji Blue

Splash - Public

Star City Cafe - Hevel & Evito

Stay with Me - ayokay & Jeremy Zucker

Sunlight - Maty Noyes

Surf. - Wave to Earth

Take Yourself Home - Troye Sivan

Tell Me U Luv Me - Juice WRLD & Trippie Red

Therefore I Am - Billie Eilish

The Vamps Burn  Hair Too Long  Part of Me

Tiffany Day Clout Chaser  Commitment Issues Gonna Be Okay

Time Flies - Drake

Tomorrow Tonight - Loote

Up All Night - Clevt

ur just a fan - Suggi

Watching You Walk Away - Stephen Puth

Will Jay ♪ from his album Perfectionist ♬ Must Be Nice  Talking to Myself  Writing a Song Pt. 1

Yellow Roses - Charlie Powers

Young Heart - Kara Marni & Russ

Zayn Rumors Scripted

In Spanish: 

Clandestina - FILV & Edmofo & Emma Petersz

Electronic:

Howls Moving Castle - Theodor Ellefsen

[chaotic-noceur]

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go. 

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight. 

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man. 

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that. 

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight. 

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,” 

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?” 

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg. 

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I��m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava! 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK. 

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell. 

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg. 

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

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Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦���‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

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Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

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Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

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Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

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Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

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Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

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Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence! 

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

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Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL. 

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ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd. 

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eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

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ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words. 

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coda

... 

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*. 

[ironstarker]

Cherry Pie (pt. 3)

Part 1 | Part 2

Notes: Things get spicier! Maybe? That’s a lie. As a side-note, I normally write from Tony’s perspective so it’s weird not getting to see a lot of the “why or how” behind his actions or his comings-and-goings. Some of the things he has in his hotel room, for example, or why he went off in the middle of the night to...do things. I’m trying to limit explanations to what Peter knows because sometimes I tend to elaborate too much (like I’m probably doing right now in this blurb) so that’s that. Anyway, as always, thanks for the love and support and I hope you enjoy! I promise the next chapter will have less talking, more smutting. 

Also, because of tumblr’s stupid tag algorithm, I won’t be posting tw’s in the tags, they’ll be available up here!

Warning(s): Underage, Non-Consensual Touching & Bondage, Crying, Kidnapping, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Bloodplay (Kind of?).

Taglist: @hoeforthegays

AO3 Link

_______________________________________________________________________

The least the bastard could’ve done before he left Peter tied to the bed was turn on the heat. The teenager was freezing, nipples pebbled, goosebumps dotting his flesh. “This sucks.” Okay, it more than sucked. He’d been knocked out, taken to a dingy motel room, had some mass murderer finger him, and now he could feel the zip ties chafing his skin. Peter had tugged on them once too many times, it seemed. His wrists were aching, and his thighs were faring no better. He hated it, but Peter was grateful that Tony — Mr. Stark — had pulled his boxers up before he’d left. At least he didn’t have to feel the lube chilling, nor his hole exposed to the air. That would’ve been the last amount of degradation he figured he could’ve handled.

Maybe not, all things considered. It could’ve been worse. The man could’ve raped him while he was at it. Peter had spent the better part of what he assumed was all night (light was beginning to filter in through the thin curtains) thinking of ways to escape, but between the handcuffs and the zip ties, his best bet was to wait until he could convince Tony to get rid of them.

Why did he keep thinking about him as Tony?

As Peter lay there, groggy, he began to wonder if this was an early onset to Stockholm syndrome. He squirmed, thrashing around on the bed in an abrupt effort to see if the ties would give. They didn’t. The teenager exhaled, his eyes falling to the checkered pattern on his boxers. At least he wasn’t in a gold bikini. At least Tony was somewhat attractive, and not a giant slug like Jabba the —

Footsteps outside the door made him still, his eyes going wide. He made a noise against the gag, sure that it would be his savior, and not —

Tony. He stepped through the door and Peter quieted immediately. A rush of cold air accompanied the man, flakes of snow swirling inside the motel room. Peter noticed that Tony hadn’t returned with his bag of tools, and he wasn’t sure whether or not he should feel relieved or more concerned. Peter choked against the gag in his efforts to get the convict’s attention, though he wasn’t sure why he thought that was even remotely a smart idea, but he fell silent when Tony turned to face him.

Even in the low light the covered window cast upon the room, Peter could see that the front of his coat was stained with blood. It was zipped open to reveal the white cotton shirt from earlier, equally stained. Peter’s eyes went wide and he squeaked, his muscles twitching in an involuntary response to get away from the man. Mr. Stark stalked towards him, and when Peter looked down he saw that the man’s hands were coated in drying blood. Peter could see where it crusted underneath his fingernails. Mr. Stark said nothing as he bent over the boy, sliding one of his dirtied hands down Peter’s chest, leaving a vague smear of blood near his nipples. Peter shivered, stared up at Stark’s face so he didn’t have to think about the blood on his skin. Maybe Jabba the Hutt would’ve been a better option after all.

“Sorry I was gone so long, sweetheart. Couldn’t help myself, had to have a little fun before the main event.” He petted Peter’s skin so reverently, smearing more blood here and there. Main event? Peter closed his eyes, wishing the gag would slip down his throat so he could choke on it, be put out of his misery. Mr. Stark frowned down at him and, almost as though he’d read Peter’s thoughts, plucked the fabric out of his mouth. “That’s better, isn’t it?”

Peter said nothing, squeezed his eyes shut tighter until a sharp pain split across his cheek from where the man struck him. Peter yelped. His eyes flew open and he stared up at Mr. Stark, that same fear from earlier creeping back in and holding him like a vice. Stark’s eyes were flat, cold.

“I think you forgot your manners.”

A pink tongue darted out to wet dry lips. “Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Peter whispered, and soon averted his eyes.

Fingers bit into his skin, and Mr. Stark forced Peter to look up at him. His cheeks began to cramp from how tightly the man’s blunted nails bit into him. “You wanna try that again?” The man’s lip was curled into a sneer.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark! Thank you, sir!” Peter’s voice hitched higher, desperate to appease the man hovering over him.

Stark considered him. Peter’s cheek began to ache from where the man had struck him, but he had wisened up. He didn’t complain, and instead waited. There was silence in the room, though Peter could hear the wind rattling against the glass of the window. And then, quick as it came, the pressure on his cheeks was gone. Mr. Stark turned away from him and strode off towards the bathroom.

Peter let out a choked sob of sheer relief when the door slammed shut behind him. His body twitched on the bed, and it took a moment to register, but Peter realized he was shivering. It had nothing to do with the cold. His eyes drifted down to where he could see a smear of dry, crusted blood swiped across his chest from where Mr. Stark had touched him. Peter didn’t want to know what his face might look like. Was blood on his chin? His cheeks? Somewhere across his nose? He heard water running in the bathroom, and his muscles spasmed again.

He didn’t know how long he waited for Stark to emerge. A few minutes, maybe more, but when the man came back, he had a rag in his hand. It was pure white and damp, Peter could see, but his focus shifted to the man holding it. Stark flipped the light on by the bedside table, casting the pair of them in an ugly, yellowish glow. He wasn’t wearing his shirt anymore, and his hair was damp like he’d wet it with his fingers. Or had he showered? How long had the man been gone? The boy was beginning to panic, the gravity of the situation settling in. He was losing all sense of time in this place, and he didn’t even realize when he was dissociating. Peter knew in the back of his mind it would be better to catalogue his surroundings, but all he could see was the washcloth.

“Got you all dirty, sweetheart,” Mr. Stark explained, his knee digging into the bed as he leaned over it and began to swab Peter’s chest. The rag was warm. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

What sort of man was Stark? It was like he had two personalities, at times. Peter couldn’t pin him down, but there again, he’d never encountered a psychopath before. That was what he was, right? Peter tried to think back to his classes in school, to the psychology elective he’d figured would look better than art. What was the difference? Peter flinched when the rag swiped over his nipples. “I — I don’t think there’s any blood there, Mr. Stark,” he whispered, and his voice sounded so meek. Moments before the man’s arrival, Peter had wanted to fight — and now, here, in his presence, he was cowering like a lamb caught in a wolf’s trap. “You need to wash up. You’ve been here all night.”

God, why did the older man sound so enamored with him? Peter didn’t want to entertain that thought. He flinched as the man began circling the cloth over his nipple, working it back up to a sensitive point. Peter bit down on his bottom lip, wasn’t sure if the coppery blood he tasted was his own or someone else’s. It made him nauseous, and he let go. The cloth was on his face next. Mr. Stark took care to wipe over his chin and on his cheeks. When he was done, Peter thought he might go, but then Stark’s lips were on his own. Peter’s eyes went wide and he made a muffled sound against the older man’s mouth, and it earned him nothing more than a sharp slap across his cheek and a warm hand grasping his throat, constricting his airway. Peter choked, the muscles in his arms tensing as he tried to free his hands to get the man off of him. Mr. Stark’s features had contorted, twisted into something animalistic. “You won’t do that again, Peter. Or I will choke the life out of you and bury you with the other fuck I murdered last night.” Peter sucked in a breath and stilled. “Please — don’t.”

Stark’s grip relaxed, but he didn’t let go. He brought the cloth up again, dabbing at Peter’s lip with the hand that wasn’t around his throat, and it was then that the boy realized he was bleeding. Fresh blood stained the cloth, but Mr. Stark seemed to run out of patience. He tossed it aside on the bed, and the hand that was on Peter’s throat pushed up close to the junction of his neck and jaw. Peter’s head was forced back, exposing the line of his neck. He stared up at Mr. Stark with trepidation, and the man watched him in turn. His dark eyes were mesmerizing. Peter blinked up at him, holding his breath, afraid to say a word and break this little trance.

“Let’s try that again.”

Peter didn’t have to ask to know what the older man meant. He was panicking, even if he didn’t know why. He’d already had his first kiss moments ago, thanks to Mr. Stark. But Peter felt his heartbeat tick up faster, and he held his breath as the man pressed his lips against Peter’s. The boy didn’t move at first, but then he felt calloused fingers tightening from their hold around his throat, and he relented. What else could he do? It was awkward, and Peter wasn’t sure how to kiss other than follow Stark’s lead. He didn’t have to do much before a tongue was invading his mouth, and Peter parted his lips for it, compliant. He let Stark explore to his leisure. Peter tasted the tang of his own blood on Stark’s tongue. When prompted, he responded as the older man’s tongue brushed his own. That had to be what he wanted, right? He wasn’t choking Peter anymore. That was a plus.

When the kiss was over, Mr. Stark withdrew and stared at him, dark eyes narrowed. Peter felt himself flushing. “Oh,” Mr. Stark said, sounding as though he’d just solved a differential equation. His expression shifted from scrutiny to glee. “You mean nobody’s ever tasted you, sweetheart? I’ve done it thrice now.”

Right. Peter had forgotten that he didn’t have a clue what the older man had done to him while he’d been unconscious. His body tensed at the thought.

“I want to find out how good you really taste.”

Confusion flickered across Peter’s face. And then, the color drained away as Mr. Stark left the bed to rummage around in the bathroom. He returned with a knife, and Peter all but squealed on the bed, thrashing like a stuck pig.

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark, please — I’ve been good. I’ve been so good, I’ll be good just don’t — ” Peter was wailing, but he didn’t care. The tears came so easily with the blade of Mr. Stark’s knife glinting in the dim light.

Mr. Stark reached out, pushing his palm down against Peter’s mouth. For an instant, Peter thought about biting into the meaty flesh. Stark shushed him, set the tip of the blade near Peter’s bellybutton. “I’m not going to hurt you.” Peter made a muffled sound against Stark’s hand. Wasn’t that what he’d been doing? He felt the cool blade dip down beneath the fabric of his boxers, and then there was a sharp tug and a ripping sound and the fabric was — oh no.

Somehow, the knowledge that the last barrier of protection he’d had was gone (even despite the fact that Stark had removed him of it, pulled the fabric down his thighs and fingered him earlier) felt worse than Peter’s uncertainty about what the older man planned to do. Peter felt exposed, and he squeaked when he felt the tip of the knife tracing along the line of his cock. He squeezed his eyes shut, quivering beneath Stark’s palm, and his trembling didn’t cease until the blade was abandoned with a heavy clatter onto the bedside table. Peter cracked an eye open, exhaled against Mr. Stark’s palm. The man was staring down at him, brow knitted.

“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.” The word came to Peter, unbidden: sociopath. That was what Mr. Stark was.

[miss-tc-nova]

Wish I Was - Bragi x Fem!Reader Pt 1/2

A while ago, I was thinking about my series Wish I Wasn’t, which I’m still kind of proud, and I decided that I’d write this. It’s kind of like an alternate ending, but also okay on it’s own I think. 

~~~~~

Part 1: Stronger

              My eyes burn and I feel like a wreck. No sleep was had last night and I feel so sick I can’t bring myself to even think about breakfast or work or anything really. The shop will not be opening today and it takes hours before I’m even able to convince myself to get out of bed.

              I have to force myself to shower and clean up, spending longer than I should beneath the warm water. Even outside the bathroom, I mull around, losing myself to the dread of today.

              Speaking of the dread of today, I need to gather everything up. Toiletries from the bathroom go in a box that’s been waiting on the table. A pair of textbooks and a notebook come off the desk to add to the pile. Left behind weeks ago, a water bottle gets tossed in along with a spare pillow. Possibly worst of all, I have to go through all my laundry, clean and dirty, to dig out what goes. As I collect these little reminders, all the misery begins to bubble up; still, I persist in my task. I never wanted this, none of it, but I just can’t.

              The heart skips in my chest when the quiet knock bellows through the apartment. Pretending I’m not home is briefly considered but that’s simply immature and will only prolong this whole mess.

              Blinding sunlight assaults my eyes the second the door cracks open, lapping at the darkness I’ve been wallowing in. Once my vision has adjusted, I find the very boy I’ve been afraid to confront again.

              “Hey,” he mumbles. He looks just as terrible as I do: his hair a complete disarray, eyes red and raw, skin pale, and just looking so utterly exhausted. I wish I couldn’t feel because this hurts so much.

              “Hey,” I whisper back. I leave the doorway, hearing him step in behind me. “Um, I think I’ve got everything, but if you think something’s missing, let me know and I’ll see if I can find it.”

              The front door clicks shut, hiding the pair of us away from the currently overwhelming world outside. “Can we talk about this?” That broken note in his voice is going to ruin me.

              “There’s nothing to talk about, Bragi,” I murmur, unable to face him.

              “There’s everything to talk about.” The welling in my throat is not a good sign. “There has to be a way we can make this work.”

              Blurring vision is accompanied by the familiar tingle of tears forming. “There is, but you already refused that option.”

              “You can’t seriously expect me to just quit being a keyblade warrior!”

              Tears or not, I turn back on him. “Of course I can!” I snap. Anger leaps onto his face, riddled with pain. “Most people don’t spend every moment of their free time worrying whether their significant other will come home or not! Most people don’t check their first aid kit five times a day because of the fear of their partner coming home injured! My entire fucking closet if full of spare bandages and saline solution and all sorts of bullshit! I took first aid and magic classes because I’m afraid you’ll come home hurt and I won’t be able to do anything about it! Most people don’t have to do those kinds of things so WHY DO I?!”

              “Maybe because you care about me!”

              “I know I do! That’s why I can’t stand it anymore!” I scream. “I’m terrified, Bragi! You leave on these dangerous missions and I can’t sleep because I don’t know when you’ll be back or if you’ll even come back! I’m afraid every time you walk out that door that it’s the last time I’m ever going to see you! I had to shut down the shop for three days last month because I just couldn’t function worrying about you! And I can’t just put up with it anymore because I love you so much!” His eyes widen. “I cannot physically handle you doing this anymore and if you can’t understand that…” It doesn’t matter how much I’ve said until now, the next words have to be torn from my mouth. “–then we’re just not going to work out.”

              Anger quelled, there’s just pain there. “But…”

              My head shakes; I gave him my ultimatum and he made his choice.

              Picking up the box, I stroll across the room and push it into his arms. “I’m sorry, Bragi.”

              His shoulders drop, lips twisting. Surprisingly, his voice is steady when he answers, “Yeah. Me too. Guess I’ll see you around.”

              A “Goodbye” barely manages to escape me as he walks out the door. The second the latch clicks, I hit the floor. In the lonely, empty darkness of my home, I scream and cry. The weight that’s been threatening to smother me for months is evaporating but it’s left a messy, jagged hole where my heart was that might as well have been thrown in that box. He leads a life that is just so hard to endure and I wasn’t strong enough to persevere—now both of us get to suffer for that. Even now, every cell in my body is screaming for him to take this agony away and it’s dawning on me that I’m never going to experience the comfort of his presence or the adoration of his kiss. I needed to push him away for the sake of my own survival but this misery is nearly unbearable.

              I don’t know how long I laid there or even at what time I convinced myself to go to bed; hell, I don’t even know how many days I stayed cooped up in the dark. Unfortunately, life had to continue.

~~~~~

              I can’t even remember how many weeks it’s been since that disaster. The days just keep coming and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, even as I’m about to drown in the weight of my responsibilities. All I can do is keep stumbling forward; one step at a time I start to pull my life back together into something resembling normalcy.

              Jingling bells alert me to a visitor and a little more of my depression spreads within me. Sucking up my grief, I straighten up and prepare to work.

              A voice calls out, “Hello?”

              Putting on a customer service smile, I walk around the counter. A young man with wavy black hair and gray eyes stands just inside my door. I don’t like the look in his eyes; he seems weary. “Hi, how can I help you?”

              Those eyes flicker to a box in his hand. “Um, I’m looking for the shop owner.”

              “That’s me. What can I do for you?”

              Said parcel is offered. “I was asked to give this to you.”

              Sure enough, my name is written on the top. “…Thanks,” I reply, hesitantly. “What is it?”

              “I don’t know,” he answers with an exhausted shrug. “I was just told to bring it to you if…if something happened.”

              His words have me stunned. “What does that mean? What do you mean if something happened?”

              “I…” Tears well up in his eyes and his head shakes. “I’m sorry.” With that, the boy walks away, leaving me standing in my confusion in an empty shop.

              Something tells me I don’t want to open the box so it gets put aside while I continue on with my work day. Nevertheless, it’s very presence pricks and prods at my curiosity the entire time, even when I throw it upstairs in the apartment in hopes ‘out of sight, out of mind’ actually holds some truth I still can’t get the package out of my head. It makes the day drag on, but even when I close the shop, I don’t immediately open the thing. Its foreboding nature compels me to do everything, anything else to occupy my time before I finally force myself to sit down and face the mystery.

              Cutting open the tape, the ominous message left by the courier comes to mind, making me pause. However, no matter how nervous I am about it, my mind isn’t going to let me forget that it exists and I just need to open it. With a deep breath, I pull the box open.

              I wish I hadn’t—I immediately wish I hadn’t. There’s no mistaking that white fur and blue fabric. I don’t even get a second to comprehend it all before the tears begin to fall. As soon as I pull it from the box, I bury my face in the spice of cinnamon. It aches at my heart but nothing in the world is more comforting.

              Through the tears and the sobbing, I just barely notice the white square on the bottom of the box. A shaky hand clears my eyes as I pull the paper from the box. It’s a little white card with just four words scrawled on it that ruin me for years to come.

              I love you too.

[duskdragon39]

dust can’t settle: Commentary

I thought you were done with credits and notes and commentaries, I hear you say. You had an entire chapter dedicated to credits and notes. Why do you have more notes?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, @stellarfoam​ and I wrote a thing for @pod-together, got a whole ton of talented people to help us read it, and created the first ao3 relationship for the tag “Original Fear Entity Avatar Characters & Original Fear Entity Avatar Characters (The Magnus Archives)” except the tag was too long so the “the” got dropped. You can find that here. If, however, you have already read/listened to/somehow otherwise experienced our oc/self-insert-heavy original statement fic, welcome! I assume you’re here because you wanted to listen to me ramble on for yet another thousand words. If you’re not looking for that, well, here it is.

Under the cut, anyways

The World of DCS:

This is, very technically, the Magnus Archives fanfic.

I say technically, because nowhere in this does canon appear. It appears in the inspiration and base worldbuilding, but other than that... yeah no.

So this started when Kai and I looked at the worldbuilding TMA has for the U.S. and went “yeah there’s got to be more than one institute.” Thus the San Francisco Institute for the Unusual and Paranormal was born, along with its satellite offices in Denver and Chicago. Those same satellite offices also serve The Usher Foundation in DC. The branch offices collect statement, both written and recorded, and other research on the paranormal. Every five years, SFIUP sends along a couple of archival assistants to go and transfer those files to long-term storage in San Francisco or DC. The relationship between the branch offices and SFIUP can be best summed up as follows:

Chicago & Denver: Bigger archives are always bossing us around :( San Fran & DC: Alright but can you like, actually store your statements Chicago & Denver: No.... San Fran & DC: Okay, so...? Chicago & Denver: DON’T TELL US WHAT TO DO

Also, we said screw you to Smirke’s 14. There’s every chance that by defining and putting boundaries on the 14 he actually helped shape them into those roles, and we figured that different places would have different mergers and interpretations of those 14. Most of our statements merge or ignore the defined fears- Something There is Dark/Hunt/Eye, Hung is Vast/Buried, Beauty is Eye/Vast, Shasta Lake is just a weirdly big fish, Dragon’s Cauldron might be Hunt? It’s more just a “alright but wouldn’t it be COOL if...”

We also have another giant document about how the fears might manifest in different parts of America.

Because there is never an end to the worldbuilding.

The Car:

Some random facts about the car for your enjoyment: - It woke up because something something knowledge = power and Lee and Dusk (LD) kept reading it statements - So now the equation knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass applies, which is to say that the trunk is a transdimensional space that LD primarily use for storage of random things. - Also a flesh monster. - It’s just back there. - It tried to kill them at one point while crossing through Minnesota. They shoved it in the trunk. It just sort of. Remains there. For awhile. - The car did not approve. - In case your wondering, the car is more or less a traveling archive, and LD are its archivists. - However LD did not sign up for this, and so their road trip culminates eventually with them killing the car. It is a long and terrible battle, and the two of them nearly die. - I have, somewhere on this computer, right now, a recording of the Car’s lovely voice actor Lynx doing a variety of absolutely terrible voices, including petulant teenager and valley girl.

Statements:

We have two pages worth of statement ideas still that we’ll get around to writing someday. If we stop adding to them. Here’s the stories behind some of the ones that made it into the fic, and some other general things I wanted to talk about.

Chapter 1: Archivist’s Note, San Francisco, Shasta Lake:

The recording classification system does not have much thought put into it, but follows the following format

[Media type];[Supernatural Classification].[Year].[Month]:[Employee(s) responsible for the case]

So in the case of [S;F15.2015.06-09:LD)], it’s: Statement(s);Multiple fears.2015.June-September:Lee & Dusk

Is this a perfect system? Hell no. Did this get as deep into archive classification systems as I wanted to go for a 15k fic? Yes. 

The Shasta Lake statement pulled heavily from several sources, including the Shasta Lake fishing website, Wikipedia, and an actual news story about a couple of guys who saved a sturgeon from choking on a catfish. It’s kinda an amazing story, especially since the fish was actually about 8 feet long.

Things I don’t want to run into, thank you.

Chapter 4: Empty City, Gas

Empty city was, as mentioned in the fic, inspired by a statement @laurenbrightwing​ gave to us. And yes, LD absolutely have gone and explored graveyards and abandoned buildings for the Aesthetic of it. 

Gas, however, came from The Car, an absolutely beautiful TAU fic by Feneris. Don’t ask what it runs on. You don’t want to know. Chapter 6: Greenway

Fic-Dusk used to work for the Denver Branch Office before going to San Fran. The branch office never forgave them for their treachery.

Chapter 7: Hung

Eastman Chemical Company is an actual company stationed in Tennessee, and this statement was very heavily modeled after Mag 124: Left Hanging, except with more buried vibes.

Needs more buried should be a motto.

Chapter 9: The Dragon’s Cauldron

Guess who went down a research hole? It me. 

Research notes for this statement can be found here. 

Sources: Debunking the Myth, Fear of Yellowstone (U.S. National Park Service) Native Americans and Yellowstone National Park: Hot Springs, Legends and Sacred Places Explore the Fort Yellowstone Historic District (U.S. National Park Service) Whittesly Yellowstone Myths.pdf Timeline of Human History in Yellowstone - Yellowstone National Park (U.S. National Park Service) Legend of the Sheepeater Indian Tribe in Yellowstone - My Yellowstone Park The History of our Local Tribe: The Sheep Eater Indians - Bitterroot Ranch Dragons in Yellowstone - Yellowstone National Park (U.S. National Park Service)

Chapter 10: Something There, Archivist’s Note 2

RIGHT. This is a fun chain of events that have taken about three years to mature into this story. 

Something There started off with a nightmare about something stalking me through my house. I was thoroughly creeped out, and then promptly forgot about it for the next day until I went to walk through my house at night and thought I heard something moving behind me. 

About a year later, my composition teacher told us to write a speech. I think the prompt was truth? 

So I went off about the thing supposedly living in my house, how no one would believe me if I told them, and implying that I absolutely was lying about the entire thing. My teacher loved it, and I got the highest grade I’d gotten that year for that assignment. (“They lauded me for that, did you know?”)

If that sort of vaguely existential crisis sounds like something you’d have fun reading, the full speech can be found here. 

A bit later, I read the same speech for an open mic. One of my friends there yelled out that she believed me- something that did make it into the final version. (“One of my friends told me she believed me, once. I… I just shrugged and told her that there wasn’t actually anything there.”)

It eventually made its way into this project via me trying to figure out what the hell to use for a more spooky statement and stumbling across the speech sitting in my google drive. 

I managed to scare myself to the point of not being able to go upstairs in the dark for about a week with the updated version.

 I wrote it. 

This seems counterintuitive.

Does this make this a self insert story? No. Statement giver here does not in any way respond like I would have in this situation, and they’ve since drifted even farther into full OC territory.

The “they can’t hurt you if you’re watching/if you see them comes from the lovely tma time travel fic “Strangers in the Dark” by Mayarene Rose. 

MouseK also gave us the closing line for the fic! It wraps it up so nicely, and I’ve already squeed about this in the fic itself, but they deserve more because the line’s amazing and I love it. Conclusion:

Thanks to everyone who gave us statements, inspired us, and helped us with the project. It’s been an excellent time, and there have already been discussions of either statements collected on this journey or short stories set in the same universe being written. 

Thanks for reading!

- Dusk

[syalmazhafira17]

Her Brother

Her grief of losing loving brother

TW: Mentions of death, drug addict, use of alcohol, slight mention towards s*ici*e

Word count: 2.566

A/N: Hii, finally I could post my writing in my Tumblr. I started a challenge for myself for writing 2.000 words at least every week and this is my piece of writing for November Week #2. I use some prompts for this writing, here is the list of the prompts and credits to tumblr blog posts that I took the prompts from, if you see your prompt used and wanted a credit, you can always chat me and I will give you credits. Thank you for reading!

XOXO,

Syalma

Thanksgiving, 2015.

Orange leaves piling up behind the house on the backyard. Falll has finally come, but her heart feels like the leaves, yellow, orange, falling from the tree, although they fall gracefully, but not her. Her heart felt like a haunted house, dusty and old. Her hair was a mess of strings. She can't cry anymore, she had ran out of her tears. She felt hollow on her soul, she just an empty flesh and bones.

His hands were the only safe place in the world for her now. The place where everything seems and feels fine, everything was perfect as she wished it was.

"When will you be home?" her voice trembled and cracked at the end. He coudl clearly tell her emotion, she has been with him for years.

"What's wrong petal?" he asked.

"He's gone, Carl. He has left," she broke down. Tears still not there, but her chest felt burst with emotions.

"Who- petal, I'll be home soon enough, okay? And we'll talk about it if you want to," Carl gulped.

"Thank you," she sniffled and hung up, buried her face on the pillow, that ironically smells like lemon, just like the smell of his other stuff she missed so much, but she couldn't bear the pain again. A knife felt twisted in her heart, and she growls in unphysical pain. Her hand squeezed her pillow harder, please take the pain away, she begs inside. She finally cried, with no tears, just some emotional heavy feelings being lifted off her chest, but it feels better, but not for long.

Her hand finds a way to her chest, squeezing the pendant of her necklace unconsciously.

"Don't lose it," he has said when he first gave it to her. "You have to remember me."

"I won't," she smiled brightly, not paying too much attention to the last sentence.

It was years ago, before only a month ago, she found out he got addicted to drink, and drugs. Not being the person she knew for years. Her head buried deep on her thoughts, the first time he show her what's love, care, and dream.

She was 4, he was 6, he already knew the family at such a young age. She didn't understand everything, but she already felt pain, and hatred. Her cheeck gone red, her face heated up, but she won't break, she was near for losing it, but she knew the consequence. She had enough for the day. She quietly crawls outside, towards the yard, where he waited. He immediately pick her up, wiping beads of tears that started to fall down quietly.

"Shhh...it's alright. It's okay. You are with me now," he whispered, holding his baby sister closer. Her chubby cheek mushed against his chest. She let out a soft whimper to let out the pain in her body. Her milk soft skin bruised here and there, hidden with dresses she wore, but that doesn't mean the pain gone. The only person knew it was him, he will always ice packed it, and kiss her, in susbtitution of parental sweet kiss.

For years it will be like those days. As they grow up together, they started to play along with the games. They would run through the bushes on the backyard and laughed as their parents chase after them, drunk, sober, but still dangerous. Their barrier will always be the wall on the backyard, when they were younger, they will always stop there, but when she hit 11, they started jump over the wall and ran to the street until it's midnight and their parents already head out to the bar.

One time, they almost got caught outside, on the street, they took the wrong turn and met with their drunk parents. He sees them first, immediately stopping her on the track and pull her to hide behind an abandoned building. And they got trapped there for an hour. They wouldn't mind, but she started to be scared. Feeling her body tensed, he crawled to the back of the building

"What are you doing?" she squeaked.

"Shhh, follow me," he instructed. He crawled to the little door towards the back of building. She looked over to where he meant it, before figuring out the thing.

"Is that even possible? It's too small," she shook her head

"Of course, silly. What do you think about your cool big bro?" he chuckled, pushing materials around him to make the hole turned bigger. Her eyes widen. Excitedly helping to push around and a door with the size of adult person opened.

"Where does this goes?" she asked.

"Shh," he shushed her, before speaking in random gibberish.

**"Who are you talking to?"**she asked curiously.

"I said shh," he softly shushed her again.

She stayed quiet, before she got in shock a group of leather jacket-ed boys coming around us.

"Who are they?" she said underneath her breath.

"The night's boys. My new friends," he smirks and talk to them in gibberish she couldn't understand. The boys nodded and smiles, and two of them letting out their hands towards her.

"They are pretty gentleman, take their hands," he warned her. She nodded, taking their hands and follow them walking through a small part of the town she never neither heard or seen before.

They walk pretty quietly, it was until the point that it was very odd for someone who walks that quiet. But she didn't comment anything and just following them. He didn't seem to care either, so that what makes her kept going and following them quietly.

They brought them to a small bunker, it smells odd, like rotten egg. Which wasn't something she would love, but she didn't mention it anyway, in fear that they will harm her. Although he said they aren't necessarily bad, but there's no reassurements that they won't harm her if she did anything.

"What makes you think they're safe?" she whispered under her breath once they reach the bunker and the boys that holds her hand lef them both alone on the lip of the bunker. "And what makes you think this is the best place?" she looked around.

"I have known their leader, and if we didn't let them lend a helping hand-" he turned his whole body around to meet her eyes. "we're doomed."

"But what's the point of bring us here?" she squeaked.

"Because we're playing this another round game of escaping from our drunk abusive parents. And you should be happy we have a place to stay rather sleep through the night ine that old building," he answered in relaxed state. The opposite of her freak out state, he seems so calm and knowing the situation they were in.

They stayed there for a whole ten minutes before a boy came up to them.

"Leader says you can stay here for the night," he simply says before walking away. Just about the time she wanted to ask where they should sleep or at least things like blanker or else, he stopped her on the track. Making her rethink of things, what should she expect them to have for sleeping? They're already in luck they won't eat them for late dinner/early breakfast.

They found a crook of bunker that was cleaner than the rest of the cold tiles. She cuddled herself while he stayed up brightly. Playing with a razor blade in his wrist without her noticing. He wanted nothing than escaping the reality, having drunken abusive parents, wandering the town in order to escape them at night, he just wanted a better life for him and her little sister he used to hate.

When he was a kid, he thought when his little sister was born, his abusive parents will chose her rather than him, and he will suffer alone while his sister took all of the caring loving parents whatsoever he craved so much. But when he first seen her walking with tears in her eyes and blood slid down her cheek, he knows that she will suffered the same, without love and care. So he started to learn to love her, giving her something they both supposed to recieve.

They went school, of course. Being a normal kid, when at night they turned to a complete rebel mode. They don't steal or get drunk underage, they just ran around the town, making friends with rebel, and knowing their lifestyle. They sometimes annoy pedestrians when they got bored, just whistling at them, and escape their parents once more. They played a little game to escape their parents every night, and everytime they didn't get caught, they will celebrate it by giving eachother a simple treat of a bite of cupcake, from the money they recieved for working with random people needed help around the town. But they needed more than that, they need enough money just to escape the town, or country maybe, to live and to be themselves without fear.

The morning quickly approached, without him having any sleep, and she woke up pretty quickly. He turned to her, gesturing to her they have to ran from the bunker as soon as the sun rise up. She nodded and balanced herself on her own two feet and ran outside with him. It was Sunday, so they walked and wandered around the town some more in the bright daylight.

"You know, maybe I should go out of town, look for money some more, and maybe we could live away from this town," he said.

"You mean, you will leave the town? Leaving me alone?" she stopped her track and looking to him deadly in the eyes.

"No-not like that. It's just a quick one, once I got some work and I'll bring you as well," he simply said.

"Where should I go for safe if you leave? What will happen to you?" she asked.

"I know a friend- he was very kind and I'm pretty sure his sister wouldn't mind having someone to share nail polishes," he nodded.

"That wasn't the point. I don't want to be away from you. Why can't you just bring me already?" she said in the edge of patience.

"That wasn't the point either. They were very lovely and kind. And I can't bring you because the money wasn't going to be enough for both of us," he said coldly.

"I don't care about money. You are my only family. No one's my family here except you," she said, tears started falling from her eyes.

"But he could be family, he could be a part of us with his sister," he said.

"But I don't want to," she said.

"Well, you should, if you want to live better than these," he said.

"I don't care about these! I just needed you to be around, not far from me, that's what you did every day in our lives!" she fought.

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT TORTURES ME! YOU DON'T KNOW!" he yelled. She was in shock, but he didn't noticed that. "It wasn't easy."

"Oh- you thought I'm just a doll? Yeah, fine, okay. You can leave! Leave this town! Never come back! I will find a way to not starve myself and not being YOUR TORTURER!" she yells back and ran away.

He froze in his place. Realizing what he has done. "Stop! Willa! Stop!" he yanked forward and ran to catch her. But she ran faster than him, and he never found his Willa again. She escapes out of his grip just like that.

The next day, he finalize his choice. If he could get successful, he could have the chance to meet his sister. And maybe he could get his wish out of the town. So he left using the leftover money he had in his pocket, and he left with a train out the town, without saying goodbye to her.

She quietly watched him get to the train with only a dream and wish from behind a wall in the station. She wanted to ran and hug him, saying sorry, gave him a proper goodbye. But she doesn't have the courage to do that. So she just stood there, hidden, with tears streaming down her face. Her knees trembling and she doesn't even sure if she will be strong enough to hold her weight. She slides down and kneeling on the cold floor underneath, while the train that her brother took already drove away. Now she doesn't have someone to seek comfort with.

She walked around the town like a ghost. She knew exactly this 'friend' her brother meant. A house just down the block, not a really big house, they only live together for two, even the house enough for 4 people, because their parents mostly doing their jobs outside the country. With trembling hands and salty tears on her lips, she raised her hand and pressed the bell.

A girl around 20 years old opened the door. She has long dark hair, and she wasn't even shocked seeing the teen in front of her parents' house. The girl opened her arms widely and she just broke there inside her warm and welcoming arms.

"He really left, doesn't he?" the girl asked softly. She nodded.

"I'm sorry," the girl said.

"Nothing's to be sorry about," she croaked. The girl smiled.

"You can live here for the rest of your life," the girl softly said.

And she lives there for years. Living her life together with the girl and her brother, they tried to contact her brother for years, until a bit over a month ago, their hard work paid off.

They got his number. When she already engaged to her brother's friend. They finally connected. On their last phone call, he promised somthing she never got. Something he broke.

"Hello lil' sis," his voice heard at the end of the line.

"Hi," she held back tears of happinness.

"I heard you've been engaged to Carl? See, he will be a part of us eventually," he giggled.

"Yeah, you were right years ago. We never said proper see you later on the train station," she said.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But I'll be home soon, seeing my lil' sis got married with my friend," he sighed.

"I missed you," she croaked.

"I missed you too. Been looking for these kind of day when you just talk to me," he said.

"My wedding will be in a month," she said. "Think you could come a few weeks earlier? Want to bought wedding gown."

"Yeah, anything else?" he giggled.

"Think you could stop working outside the town for me?" she asked.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"Yeah, you could work around here, or on Carls' even," she shrugged.

"Of course," he laughed. Oh how she missed the laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled before hanging up. But he never came tomorrow, the next day, or else. She never met him again.