#it will be okay. at least i'm at my parents' house for the weekend so i can belt about it
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yououghtaknow ¡ 2 years ago
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#ANDREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ANYWAYS. fucking hate the medical system. hate being mentally ill. hate being disabled. hate this life.#but at LEAST my parasocial bway besties are making good music#[everything is falling apart] [five minutes later] omg musical theatre#deleting so many tags because i have so much to say but i can't because of the [redacted] of it all#going to try and go for a walk and listen to music and try not to go insane#i love simultaneously oversharing and being a man of mystery. i am everything and nothing and so so special.#evening plans: walk. music. dinner. try and do a little creative work. sleep.#i have planned social things for the weekend so i am NOT isolating myself#i am doing all of the things i have been told to do to get better AND YET!!!!!!!!!!#it will be okay. at least i'm at my parents' house for the weekend so i can belt about it#anyways if my paranoia is Correct and my irls are reading this Hello. I Will Explain All Of This Eventually But You Probably Know What's Up#in many ways i am just like alistair fletcher but in many ways i am not. i contain multitudes.#ooh i should try and finish the current episode of my skambr annotations tonight. at this rate i will finish s1 by the end of the summer.#the thing about sandy neuman is she's sooooo flawed but in a way that is just like me (conflict avoidance and over/undersharing)#she would fuck with yellowjackets sooooooooo much. she's a soccer player she's a lesbian she has fucked up girlbestfriendships.#ANYWAYS. if you're still reading this hiiiiiii. going to feel the sun on my vampiric skin now.#Spotify
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ellecdc ¡ 4 months ago
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elle… elle… imagine me crawling into ur inbox like i’m crawling through the desert like i haven’t had water in days… i have a request.
do you think maybe maybe we can get just some potter!reader and james sibling interactions… i’ve been thinking abt it so hard i love u ok bye
hahaha here, have a quick little baby blurb starring our favourite siblings
Barty Crouch Jr x Potter!reader who is spending the hols with the Potters, apparently [638 words]
CW: siblings, swearing, island of misfit toys, reference to The Shining
“What’s everyone doing for the hols?” Peter asked around a bite of his toast to the rather large group gathered at the Gryffindor table that morning. 
Marlene waxed poetic about how she was going to Tuscany with her folks and lamented that she wasn’t going to get to see Dorcas even once, whilst Dorcas simply rolled her eyes and stated she was going to be skiing with her parents in Switzerland and was really looking forward to it. 
Lily was going to be visiting some of her relatives but was happy to announce that she was going to be visiting Mary for a weekend at her home.
Remus admitted that it was going to be a quiet affair at the Lupin cottage in Wales but would be spending a weekend at the Potter manor to visit Sirius (and James! Don’t forget James!). 
“How about you, Junior?” Peter asked cautiously; always worried of eliciting any sort of response from the Slytherin boy, though not wanting to insult him by not asking him as well. 
Barty looked up from his book to see the table's eyes on him. “Uhm, I’m just staying here.” He responded simply, causing you to start shaking your head in disagreement as you worked to swallow the bite of food you’d just taken. 
“No.” You amended. “You’re staying with me.”
“I am?” He asked as James gasped “he is!?” 
You nodded simply as you took a sip of your tea. “I asked mum and dad last week, they said it was fine.” 
And if Barty had been mad that you’d asked your parents for such a thing, or upset that you didn’t deign to inform him of these plans, he didn’t show it as he offered you an agreeable shrug and moved back to his book. 
“Excuse me.” James deadpanned as he stared daggers at you. “No one asked me.”
“Why in the buggering fuck would I have asked you, Jamie?” You spat back at him.
“Uhm, because it’s my house too!?”
“No one asked me when you moved in the creepy twins from The Shining! No offence, boys.” You amended quickly as you offered an apologetic smile in Sirius and Regulus’ direction, which earned you a simultaneous “none taken” from Regulus and an offended “we duel at dawn, Trouble” from Sirius. 
“Well-...” James started, though he couldn’t seem to find an argument as you raised a brow at him. “Well I just…think someone ought to have informed me, is all.” He finished haughtily.
“Yeah, okay.” You offered sarcastically. “I’ll be sure to give you ample notice next time.”
“Next time!?” James beseeched. “You can’t keep bringing them home!”
“Why not!? You get to have two of them!?”
The two of you continued verbally sparring as Barty, Sirius, and Regulus all exchanged a look at being referred to as them. 
“You’re being ridiculous; it’s not a competition.” James spat pretentiously. 
“No?” You said, causing everyone else in the group to brace themselves at what was no doubt going to be a special brand of Potter nonsensory. “In that case, I’m going to go see if the Rosier’s want to join us.”
James stared at you with his mouth agape as you made to stand from the bench. “You wouldn’t.”
“Watch me.” You challenged before taking off towards the Ravenclaw table where you knew at least one Rosier would be sitting.
“Fuck.” James hissed, now standing as well as he began frantically searching the Great Hall. “Uhm… oh, Fenwick! Need somewhere to crash for the holidays!?”
"I'm sorry I asked." Peter let out with a heavy sigh as Regulus muttered something French and likely very unflattering regarding his boyfriend under his breath.
“Potter Manor; home of misfit wix.” Remus mumbled, earning him an indignant “oi!” from his boyfriend, “watch who you’re calling misfits, Lupin” from Regulus, and a snort of laughter from Barty.
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roosterforme ¡ 4 days ago
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Aim for the Sky Part 31 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Everything starts to get very real once you're able to feel the baby move. It's time to share the news of your second pregnancy with family and friends, but it's hard to feel elated when Bradley starts showing attention to one of his pilots after work hours.
Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, oral sex, pregnancy topics, mentions abortion, lactation kink, jealousy, drinking
Length: 3600 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
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If you weren't pregnant and exhausted, Bradley would have been concerned by how quiet you were. You seemed to need a nap as soon as you got home from work, and then you wanted to go to bed right after Rose went down in her crib each evening. When he got home quite late on Friday after working on some transfer paperwork for several hours, he was surprised to find that you seemed a little more upbeat than usual.
"Hey, Roo."
You were wearing a pair of his gym shorts while you made dinner. The house smelled delicious, and his stomach started growling as soon as he walked inside. He picked Rose up from her playmat, taking her into the kitchen as he smothered her in kisses before transferring them to you.
"You feeling okay? How's Nugget Part Deux?"
"We're exhausted. Rose is the only one with energy right now."
He supposed that was better than you telling him you couldn't stop throwing up. So far, baby number two seemed to be giving you less grief when it came to eating. "We can nap all weekend," he promised. "How was your day?"
"Pretty good," you told him with a shrug. "How was your day?"
He glanced out the back door at the enormous jungle gym, eyeing it up as an option for him and Rose to play after dinner. "Just busy. Everyone keeps me on my toes all day long. These pilots are really talented."
You seemed to wrinkle your nose at his words, staring at the food cooking on the stove as you muttered, "I'll bet they are."
Rose seemed keen on the idea of the backyard, so he kissed her soft cheek. "Yeah, I can barely keep up with them in the air, but don't tell them that. I've got my head on a swivel the whole time. Indigo and Rex nearly took me out today, and I had to go into a dive. And starting on Monday, I'm going to give myself some extra office hours to stay on top of my paperwork."
Instead of responding about his day, you started to dish out the food onto two plates with your back turned to him. "After we eat, I need to call my parents before it's too late. They're putting their house on the market next week, and I think I'm just going to tell them I'm pregnant and get it over with. I've put it off long enough."
Bradley's brow creased. "They'll be excited though. Right? I mean, maybe not as excited as me, but still excited."
You shrugged again, and he thought he might lose his mind if you kept doing it. "Aren't you at least a little worried there could be some sort of complications from having them so close together?"
A sardonic laugh almost burst from his lips. "Baby Girl, I worry about you and Rosie and the new baby constantly. Okay? Nonstop. But we can't go back now. You're already almost in the second trimester. Hey," he said, swallowing hard as you finally turned and looked at him. He held Rose just a little tighter as he whispered, "We're married. We're happy, right? You're not actually thinking about ending your pregnancy, are you?"
"No," you replied quickly, shaking your head. Bradley desperately wanted to know if there was some way he could make this easier for you, because he didn't want you to resent what was happening. But you just started crying as you shrugged again. "I just feel like our timing is terrible. And I know I have to start telling people, because I'm already showing a little bit, but I'm just so frustrated, Bradley."
He never dreamed the two of you would go from trying for months to get pregnant with Rose to being frustrated about a second pregnancy, but here you were. "I realize you've got to do most of the work right now, but when I tell you that I want another baby and that I'm excited about this, I mean it."
"I know!" you whispered quickly. "I know." You swiped at your tears before wrapping your arms around him and Rose.
"Is something else bothering you?" he murmured when your cheek came to rest on his bicep. He couldn't imagine what else could be the matter, but he needed to make sure. 
You were silent for a few beats before whispering, "I'm fine. Let's facetime my parents."
For how excited your mom was to move to California, she didn't seem to notice that your eyes looked like you'd been crying. She kept talking about selling their furniture and packing everything up. She mentioned how much she wanted to see Rose in person as she fussed over her on the video call. Just as she was starting to discuss their new house in Coronado that would make them his neighbors, Bradley heard you blurt out, "I'm pregnant."
Your parents both looked stunned on the other end of the call. "You're pregnant," your mom said, eyes drifting back to Rose in Bradley's arms. "Already?"
Now both parents were staring at Bradley as he said, "Yeah... due in April."
"April Fool's Day," you said softly.
Your parents broke out into twin grins. "I'm assuming this was a surprise to the two of you?" your dad asked. When you nodded silently, he added, "A happy surprise at least! Congratulations. You're about to have your hands very full."
"It's a good thing we're moving!" your mom practically shrieked. "Two under two! Two babies! What if you have twins?"
"We're not," Bradley replied. Then he froze. "It's not twins. Right, Sweetheart?" Now he was a little scared as you turned to look at him and laugh.
"There was just one heartbeat, Roo. Just one."
His shoulders sagged in relief. "I mean, the more the merrier, but that would be a lot."
He let Rose nap against his chest while he rubbed circles against your lower back, and soon enough, your parents were ending the call with the promise that they would be in Coronado for Christmas. "We'll either be living there by then or we'll fly out for the holiday if our house here hasn't sold yet."
Everything sounded good to Bradley, and five minutes after the call ended, you fell asleep on him, too.
----------------------------
When you fell asleep on Cam's shoulder at brunch on Sunday, you figured it was time to tell him and Maria what was going on.
"I'm pregnant. Again."
Maria jumped out of her seat to cram into the opposite of the booth, sandwiching you between her and Cam. "Damn, girl! You've wasted no time!"
"Lieutenant Commander Mustache is working with some high fucking quality goods, huh?" Cam marveled, shaking his head slowly in reverence. "Congratulations."
"Thanks," you whispered, voice harsh and near tears. You had no control over your emotions. This was just like when you were pregnant with Rose, but with less vomiting and more fatigue. Everything made you upset enough that you wanted to cry or angry enough that you wanted to kick down a door. Including your husband.
You answered Cam and Maria's questions as you thought about that woman you'd seen around base with Bradley a few times. They were never alone, always part of a larger group, but you didn't like how she looked at him. And you didn't want to mention it to him, because you knew how ridiculous it was going to sound.
"Hey, I'm really tired," you eventually told your friends. "Do this again in two weeks?" You wanted to go home and nap while Bradley still had Rose out for a walk along the beach. You just wanted to be alone.
"Of course," Maria promised. "I'll text Bob to come pick me up, but you two can go on ahead."
"I'll wait with you," Cam told her, giving you a kiss on the cheek.
You made your way out and went home, leaning against the front door in relief when you found the house completely empty. Even Tramp and his yellow leash were gone. You ran to bed, curled up under the covers, and cradled your hand against your belly. It was impossible to tell if you had a baby bump, or if you were still chubby from last time. 
Your thumb ran along the top of your leggings as you started to cry. You needed to pull yourself together. Did you cry this much with Rose? Did everything make you feel like you looked disgusting? Eventually you dozed for about an hour before the sound of the front door closing jolted you awake. Rose started screaming, probably hungry after being out for so long. You rolled out of bed, avoiding your reflection in the mirror at all costs, and went to meet them in the kitchen.
Bradley was trying to bounce Rose to keep her quiet, but you yanked your shirt off and reached for her. "Sorry," he muttered as your daughter latched on to eat as soon as she was touching you. "I tried."
"It's okay." 
You fed one baby while you considered that her younger sibling was growing inside you, and for once, you couldn't figure out if you wanted to laugh or cry. 
While she ate, Bradley looked at his phone and groaned. "Nat wants us to go to the Hard Deck tonight."
The idea of going out and pretending that you were drinking alcohol was too much to handle. Even if you could find someone to watch Rose, it didn't sound like a fun time.
"You go," you told him.
He glanced up and said, "I don't want to go without you."
A smile graced your lips as you told him, "Just go for one drink with your best friend. I'll drop you off and pick you up. You can tell her I'm pregnant if you want to."
"Really?" he asked, perking up like Tramp did when presented with a treat.
"Yeah. I told Maria and Cam earlier. I actually fell asleep on his shoulder in the booth, and when I woke up, they were both gaping at me. I figured I needed to say something."
Bradley snorted. "What did they have to say about Bradshaw Baby number two?"
"Cam is under the impression that you are working with some high quality equipment."
He burst into laughter. "I mean..."
You rolled your eyes as Rose switched to your other side. It was easy to feel better about things when it was just the three of you at home. You looked at your husband as he ate an apple in four bites and convinced yourself he would never do anything to hurt you. Then he drank half a beer and belched while he adjusted his junk, and you thought perhaps nobody else would want to deal with him anyway.
"I'll text Nat back. Then I'll pull the weeds around the playset while I decide what I'm doing about the bar."
You let Rose take a nap, but now that you'd also had one, you felt a little restless. Even after you did a few chores, including looking at items for a second baby nursery online, you wanted to get out of the house again. When Bradley came inside, stripping his sweaty shirt over his head, he said, "One drink. Don't leave me there too long, okay?"
"Is Jake going, too? Maybe I'll see if Cat and Jer are home and want visitors."
"That's a great idea," he replied, taking your hand when he walked past. When he gave you a little tug, you didn't move. "You coming?" he asked, clearly puzzled. 
"Where?"
"What do you mean where?" he scoffed, tugging again. "To take a shower with me while Rose naps. Where else?"
It was hard to think about anything when your husband was on his knees in front of you, steamy water swirling around his tattooed bicep while his hands pinned you to the tile wall. But it was especially hard to focus on anything other than the feel of his mouth on your body. The scrape of his mustache. The pull of his lips. Soft and demanding and needy.
"Roo," you gasped, lungs full of the humid air, sucking in deep breaths as he looked up at you.
"God, Baby Girl," he rasped, thumb teasing your dainty rooster tattoo. "I'm so spoiled. Your tits look so pretty, and your belly will be big again soon."
You let your fingers drag through his wet curls, pushing them back from his forehead while he kissed the spot where you felt so tender as the baby grew.
"Roo!" you gasped, your hands both flying to your belly. "The baby! I can feel the baby moving!"
"Shit, really?"
His eyes were wide, alert with anticipation as you moved his palm to the spot where you could feel squirming. He eased himself closer on his knees, the shower hitting both of you with warm spray while he let you guide him. You felt it again, just another squirm as you pressed his palm harder to your belly.
"Right there," you whispered, and he closed his eyes. Your heart beat in your ears, an undeniably excited rhythm.
"I can't wait to feel it, too," he murmured, his cheek coming to rest against his hand. "You couldn't feel Rose this early."
"No," you agreed, watching your husband fall even more in love with the unborn baby. "Maybe another week or two and they'll be big enough for you to feel it." You played with his hair, letting him stay put until the water started to get cold.
-------------------------------
"I'll pick you up in a little while," you informed Bradley when you pulled into the parking lot at the Hard Deck. "Jake is already here, so I'll take Rose to hang out with Cat and Jer for a bit."
"Sounds good." He kissed you before unbuckling and leaning into the backseat to kiss his daughter. He was still shocked and in a mild daze over the baby moving during the shower. He wanted to feel those kicks against his palm, and now he'd be all over you in the upcoming weeks, looking for his chance. 
"Have fun," you called before pulling away in your Bronco, but going to the bar to hang out without you was not his idea of a great night. He decided he'd just wait and see how the evening progressed before making a decision about telling Nat about the pregnancy. He smiled as he wondered how long it would be until you had to start wearing the maternity tent to work again.
"There you are!" shouted Nat when he walked past the bar, waving to Penny. "We're about to play pairs. You're with Hangman. Rack 'em, Rooster."
Bradley sighed and took the pool cue as she thrust it into his hand. "Can't I get a beer first?"
She turned and shouted, "Hey, Coyote! Get Rooster one!"
Javy saluted him from the bar as Bradley nodded and settled in to start the game. He and Jake wouldn't even have to try too hard to beat Nat and Reuben, but as he got into the groove of things, he realized he was having a pretty good time.
"You want another?" Jake asked him, and soon one beer turned into three. Bradley ended up buying the fourth round for his friends when Mickey arrived. He had enough in his system to not give a shit when Jake started ribbing on him for his new position at work.
"The way your students all jump to attention when they see you has got to be the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life," he drawled, and Bradley nudged his foot, making him miss his shot.
"I'm still in shock that Cat agreed to marry you," Bradley replied before taking a sip of beer.
Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised Angel let you get her pregnant. Shocked the baby didn't come out with a mustache."
Nat was cackling while Bradley snorted. "She's pregnant again." The words slipped out, but they felt too fucking good on his tongue, just like your body had in the shower.
"What?!"
He was instantly surrounded by his friends while Nat wrapped him up in a hug. "Are you serious? Another one so soon?" she asked with a suspicious looking smirk.
"Yeah," he replied, letting her squeeze him until he thought she might displace a rib. "Apparently I'm working with some high quality equipment."
"Ew!" Nat shrieked, letting go of him while Jake shook his hand. 
"Poor Angel," he drawled. "She'll have another little Bradshaw on the loose soon."
"Whiskey shots on me," Reuben said, slapping Bradley hard on the back.
"Thanks, man," he replied while conversation about the baby settled to a normal volume. He drank his shot of whiskey, and that's when he realized he was actually kind of drunk.
The game of pool wore on, but nobody seemed to be keeping track of who won. So he kept going until his phone vibrated in his jeans pocket.
Baby Girl Bradshaw: I'm almost there. Rose fell asleep.
"I have to run," Bradley announced, dropping his cue into Jake's hand. 
"You're so fucking whipped," Jake drawled. "Get out of here and knock your wife up again.... oh, wait."
Bradley gave him and everyone else double middle fingers behind his back as he walked toward the exit. He was tired and warm and buzzed, and he wanted to curl up next to you in bed and kiss the back of your neck. And maybe you'd let him look at your gorgeous tits. Maybe if he was really good, you'd let him taste you. The evening air hit his body, igniting so much need in him.
"Oh, sorry," he grunted, nearly plowing over someone in his rush to get to the parking lot.
"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," came a now familiar voice. Blue eyes flashed up at him along with a smile that kept growing.
Indigo was dressed in street clothes, but he tried not to take notice as he nodded. "I knew you'd find The Hard Deck without my help."
She laughed, bright and clear as he tried to step past her. "Don't tell me you're leaving for the night."
A little pout found her lips, and Bradley nodded. "Yeah. It's getting late for a Sunday."
"Come on," she whined, the back of her hand brushing his as he made his way around her. "Let me buy you one drink."
His mind was still gooey with thoughts of taking you to bed as he shook his head. "Thanks, but I really need to go. Enjoy your night."
Then Nat burst through the door, movements slowing when she met his eyes. "You left your phone on the pool table." She tossed it to him, coordination pretty good for how much she'd had to drink. She started backing up toward the door as she said, "You better go home with your pregnant wife!"
Bradley smiled at his friend, but he could feel Indigo's eyes on him as he stepped off the deck toward the parking lot. And there you were, standing in the first aisle with your back against the red Bronco. Your lips were set in a firm line, and Bradley was about to make it his personal mission to kiss away that expression.
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That younger woman was here with him. You'd seen her around base plenty of times lately, but now she was here. At the Hard Deck. At your favorite bar in your neighborhood. She was with your husband at the bar. They were already standing there together when you drove up and parked.
"Who is that woman?" you snapped at Bradley who was clearly drunk. His hands were all over your waist and hips as soon as he reached you.
"Hey, Sweetheart." His voice was deep and sexy, and you wanted nothing more than to melt into him, but she was still staring you down.
"Who. Is. She?" you hissed, your eyes starting to burn with unshed tears as you stared back. Bradley was kissing your neck now as the woman finally turned and went inside the bar. You already knew who she was. You were sure of it. You'd heard him use her call sign countless times, but you wanted him to say it now. "Bradley!"
"Huh?" he grunted, meeting your eyes.
"Who is that woman you were just with?"
"Natasha?" he asked, and you wanted to scream.
"The other woman, Bradley."
"Oh. That's Indigo."
Your heart sank as soon as he confirmed it for you, but he didn't seem to notice or care that you suddenly felt like your skin was on fire. That woman who was still so fresh out of flight school was already a top pilot, and she was beautiful, and she wanted your husband.
"Baby Girl," he moaned next to your ear. "Let's go home. Maybe we can get in bed and snuggle while I try to feel the baby move? Or you could let me finish what we started in the shower? I'm already so wound up."
You opened the passenger side door for him, slamming it shut as soon as he was inside. You glared at the entrance to the Hard Deck before heading around the Bronco to drive him home.
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Either way, it still looks bad, Bradley. We are riding along with all of BG's emotions, and it's a lot to handle. Thanks for reading. More coming soon. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
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astrasng ¡ 4 months ago
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i love you, i'm sorry || n.j
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just to think about jaemin calming you down after you had a fight with your parents means everything to you. you knew he would listen to you and comfort you, he always does, but now he really carved himself into your heart.
you feel like you could spend your entire life with him, even if it means doing nothing.
because the minute you break down in your old room, crying so hard you can't even take a breath makes you dizzy, immediately reaching for your phone at 3 AM.you know jaemin works until late night, sometimes at night as being an idol. and you hate calling him or rather bothering him. So you just look at your phone screen with teary eyes, the sentences your mother said to your face just minutes ago replays in your mind, inevitably making you cry more. 
“And how long do you think he stays with you? He’s an idol, basically he has no time for you so why do you waste your time on him?” 
“He’s going to leave you sooner or later. Finds someone more available.” 
you shouldn’t be surprised, your parents never approved of your relationship with jaemin, even though it’s been months now that you two are together. It occurred to your mind that what if he finds someone better? after all, why would he be with you particularly?but whenever these questions popped into your mind, jaemin made sure they all went away. but can you blame yourself? He’s everything a girl can ask for. and you don’t feel like your parents will ever understand how he treats you, even though he’s an idol. 
are you home?
the message is sent by the time you realize what you did, burying your face in your hands. there’s a tight knot in your stomach that wants to pop out, the nerves killing you just by staying in the same house as your parents. right now, all you want to do is leave and escape in his arms. you wanted to visit your parents over the weekend, telling them about stories and how everything is going on in your life since you moved out, but alas, it didn’t happen the way you wanted. all you wanted was that your parents finally let him in their lives too, just as you did. 
just got home, everything alright baby?
the loud ping snaps your head up and as you scan over his reply, you can feel a heavy rock lifted up from your chest. 
I really need you. I know that you’re working tomorrow too but can i come over?
with a sigh you wait for his answer, going through all the possibilities if he says no. then you would just have to suffer through your emotions, maybe calm yourself down with a hot bath? or watching something you like?
of course honey. don’t worry about work, i’ll handle it. 
with a weak smile you reply - i’ll be there in a few.
you hear another ping after you put down your phone, but you don’t bother to check it, packing immediately so you can leave early. 
and that’s what happened. with a single bag in your hand you slip out the house, your parents probably long asleep after your fight. You don’t want to think about it again. you just want jaemin.
and in no time, you find yourself in front of his door, your hand lifting up to knock but he’s already opening the door for you. as you take in his presence you realize you're okay now, you’re with him. nobody can take away that. for now at least.
jaemin looks at you with worry in his eyes as he sees your puffy red eyes, his hands grabbing your cheeks softly when he sees you getting teary again. 
what’s wrong baby? did someone hurt you? his voice rings in your ears like smooth honey, your eyes searching for his as he scans your face. hmm? tell me my love,, he swipes the tear away, tilting his down to be eye level. 
I missed you.
two strong arms wrap around your waist, squeezing your bodies together as jaemin softly takes steps further back into his apartment, eventually closing the door behind him when you bury your face into his neck. 
you can feel that he just took a shower, his soft clothes touching your skin brings you comfort along with the smell of his shampoo. 
my love, i missed you more than anything. 
and you can no longer hold your tears back, you let yourself sob in his arms as he caresses your waist, squeezing his eyes shut as jaemin hears your cries next to his ear, his own heart breaking along with yours. 
he knows you often have problems with your parents, and as you told him earlier today that you went out to have dinner with them, he only assumes you’re crying because of that. but he doesn’t bring it up, 
he instead kisses away your crystal tears on your pink cheeks, his hands never leaving your cheeks and hair, swiping it back to see more of you.
what can i do to make you forget about it?
jaemin asks as he looks deep into your eyes, every emotion swimming in his orbs like he wants to take away your pain and suffering. and he really does too. It pains him to see you like this. It wasn't the first time you ran into his arms when you couldn't handle your emotions well, and it’s not the last either. he wants to adopt everything you feel into his body and mind, easing you up this way. 
you blink up at him, focusing on his eyes before you look down at his lips. kiss me,,
jaemin kisses you softly, his warm lips melting into yours as he keeps his hand on the side of your face, bringing you even closer. your grip on his shirt thightens, basically wanting to hide away from everyone with jaemin. but as he continues to kiss you, now deepening the kiss when you lean more forward you have to stay in the present. You have to ease your stress, and you know jaemin is the one who will catch all of your worries. 
your tongue swipes slightly over his bottom lip, initiating something that never happened before. as much as he doesn’t want to, jaemin stops, pulling further away to lock eyes with you. are you sure you want this? he softly spoke, not wanting to scare you away when another tear rolls down your face. with a simple nod you bring him back down, your lips immediately attaching to his soft ones, making jaemin sigh into the kiss. 
your hands snake up into his hair, playing with the hair at his nape as you take steps further back into the apartment, knowing the sketches of his apartment blindly. jaemin doesn’t waste any other time, picking you up ins his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carries you further to is bedroom. 
the heavy tension lingers in the air when he softly places you on the fresh sheets, skin burning when he caresses your arms up and down to calm you down. tears seem to stop by his magic, replaced with lust and raw emotions in your eyes when you pull away from the kiss, scanning his beautifully carved face. a small smile appears on your face when you lift your hand to caress his face now, thinking about how lucky you are to have him. 
jaemin blinks at you softly, his smile sending you butterflies in your whole body as he silently says ‘s okay, i got you now. 
feather- like kisses pains your skin on your neck as he moves further down, scrunching up your shirt that gets in his way to kiss your skin, eventually taking it off completely of you. looking down at him, he’s already situated between your legs, his arms wrapping around your thighs to keep you close to him. jaemin softly kisses the skin on your thighs, his own warm breath tickling you slightly as he buries himself between them. you hands snake into his hair again, massaging his scalp when he nudges your core slightly with his nose, making you groan out.
the room feels heavy as you and jaemin can’t seem to stop groaning and moaning, his mouth now latched onto your sopping cunt the minute he pulled your shorts down. butterflies erupt in your stomach whenever you look down, seeing his broad shoulders moving under your calves with anticipation. 
the feeling of his tongue moving in and out inside you, his finger circling around your clit makes you dizzy, unable not to throw your head back while letting out a low moan. as you curse into the thick air, jaemin can’t seem to stop his movements, now his own hip rutting against the sheets to ease his own pain. he can feel you nearing your orgasm as you take the air in quicker, your thighs shaking around his head. jaemin,,please, i need you-
you let out another moan as you come around his digits, throwing your head back on the pillow as you cry out his name like a mantra. he can’t stop himself as he continues to lap at your juices, having every single drop until you cry out again and bring his face up to kiss him hardly, and deeply. 
i was thinking about you all day darling,
jaemin says before he deepens the kiss, now propped up above you before pulling you on his lap, sitting up fully against him. With a whine you kiss him back, your tongues colliding clumsily when he pulls your hips closer to his , feeling his wet cock between your bodies. his hand sneaks up behind you to unclasp your bra, letting it fall down on the bed as he pulls back to admire your hazed look. as he taps your hips you lift them up, feeling him sliding his cock between your folds slowly, moaning against your chest as he dips his member deeper into you, your walls squeezing around him because of the stretch. ‘’s so tight,,,fuck baby-
a whine flies past your lips as he finally bottoms out, practically feeling himself finally melting into you when you scratch his back slowly, bringing your nails up on his skin. pleas echos around the room as he thrusts up deep inside you over and over again desperately, like he wants to fuck all of your problems out of you - if thats even possible.
your heart overflowing with emotions you let out a moan, grabbing jaemin’s face to make him look at you, up into your eyes, the ones where he sees the future ahead of him with you. and only you. 
jaem,,i think i’m-
he knows.he wraps his arms around your naked body and thrusts up into you deeply.
I know sweetheart, let it all out. he groans and kisses your collarbone softly.
and you do. You can’t stop the tears rolling down your cheeks as jaemin thrusts up into you again, panting against your neck as you moan the words out desperately into his ear. it’s all too much, your hands move to grip his hair as your hips are unable to stop moving against his.
tell me you love me,
with one final thrust, he paints your walls with white drops of cum, you squeezing him tightly in every way, your arms never letting go of his shoulders. he doesn’t either, his once shut eyes now scanning your glistening one, the light from outside his living room the only thing illuminating the both of you, making you look like a goddess with ruined makeup and messy hair just for him. jaemin can’t take his eyes off of your beauty, kissing the corner of your mouth, slowly peppering kisses all over your face to calm your beating heart with reassurance. 
then he finally says,,
my love is yours, y/n. my heart belongs to you.
and jaemin knew that in that moment, it was the last time when you escaped in his arms.
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this is a drabble that i wanted to write out, it's not proofread so i'm sorry if something is rushed or doesn't make sense.
reblogging and feedback is appreciated! ♡
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punksyeet ¡ 1 month ago
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ᰔᩚ Confessions ᰔᩚ
Plot: Gianna (OC) has been split from her ex for two years now. He drops their daughter off from visits with him every weekend, but this one ends a bit differently.
Warning: Talks of smut & hefty flirting!
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"Mommy!" my daughter calls out excitedly, hopping out of my ex Joshua's car as soon as he parks.
I crouch down and she runs straight into my arms, to which I respond with a tight hug.
"Hi baby!" I reply excitedly, before kissing her cheek. "How was your time with daddy?"
"It was so much fun!" she replies, looking up at me. "We baked cookies and watched all the Barbie movies."
I chuckle and look up at him, still responding to her. "Sounds like you guys had a blast. I'm sorry I missed it."
He responds with a soft smile on his face - the same gorgeous smile I fell in love with all those years ago.
For context, Josh and I were together for 6 years and have been seperated for 2.
We started dating at the ages of 19 and 23, so naturally, some stupid decisions were made - one of which, lead to our daughter Jalina.
As big of a mistake as it was at the time, becoming a mom has changed my life for the better.
And my love for her somehow grows more and more every day.
She has all of her dad's features: his curly dark hair, big chocolate brown eyes, perfectly round nose, full lips that turn into a gorgeous smile, and even the exact caramel-like shade of his Samoan skin.
As for why we split in the first place, it was mainly because of the distance.
As the years of our relationship rolled on, Josh was getting more and more involved with WWE, and the traveling and time spent away was no joke.
From live shows, to weekly matches, and even occasional PPVs outside of the country, we barely got to see each other.
Which of course, caused us to drift apart and make the mutual decision of parting ways.
Unfortunately, our daughter had already been 4 by that time, so the breakup not only confused her, but hit her hard.
Just to be clear, the attraction is still in full effect, at least over here.
Josh is still very much the most attractive man I've ever laid eyes on, and his subtle ways of flirting with me to this day have lead me to believe he feels the same.
Anyway, fast forward to now, Jalina is 6 years old and spends time with both of her parents separately.
Her home is here with me in Savannah, but when Josh is off from work, she goes and visits with him in Atlanta.
"It's okay mom," Jalina replies, setting her backpack down onto the floor in the doorway. "I brought home some cookies for you."
She pulls out and hands me a tupperware container filled to the brim with cookies, sprinkled with pink sugar crystals.
I smile and kiss her temple. "That's very sweet of you, baby. Thank you."
She smiles and zips her backpack up again, throwing one of the straps over her shoulder.
"LiLi why don't you head upstairs and unpack," Josh suggests, stroking her hair gently.
"Okay daddy," she replies, wrapping her arms around his waist.
I smile as they share a quick hug and kiss before she runs inside and upstairs. 
The jingle of the key chains on her backpack zippers gets quieter and quieter, causing me to stand up and brush off my biker shorts.
"You hungry?" I ask, breaking the comfortable silence. "I was in the middle of making dinner when you guys arrived.”
Josh gives me a soft smile. "What kind of man would I be if I turned down your cooking?"
I smile, playfully roll my eyes, and walk back into the house, inviting him to follow me.
He does, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat on a stool at the island.
"So," he begins again, watching me as I transfer the cookies into a Ziplock bag. "How's everything been?"
I shrug, sliding the zipper across the top. "Quiet, thank God. How's work?"
He tilts his head, nodding. "Busy as usual. You been keeping up with the shows?"
"Haven't I always?" I tease, setting the cookies to the side and turning around to open the fridge and grab some ingredients for a side salad to go with dinner.
I hear him chuckle from behind me. "Aight fair enough. I appreciate your support though forreal."
On my way over to the sink to wash some vegetables, I can practically feel his gaze on my ass.
I grab a cutting board and knife, and head back over to the island counter.
"No worries," I finally reply, cutting off the ends of a cucumber. "Half the time Jalina is the one to turn on the channels to watch her daddy, so it's not like I have much of a choice."
"Gee thanks," he replies sarcastically, causing me to giggle.
Comfortable silence falls over the room again, as the faint sound of our daughter playing with her dolls upstairs echoes throughout the house.
"Can I help with anything?" he asks, as I turn back to the stove to stir the pasta.
I think for a minute. "You can set the table if you'd like."
"Cool," he replies, the sound of his footsteps getting closer.
His hand lightly grazes against my hip, as he reaches up to open the cabinet and grab three dishes.
And, as if nothing has changed, I automatically get goosebumps in reaction to the feeling of his soft fingertips against my body.
"You cold?" he asks, walking past me smirking.
This mother fucker.
"Boy shut up," I reply, taking the pot off the heat and over to the sink to strain the pasta water.
He chuckles and heads over to me once the table is all set.
"I know you missed me," he teases, hugging me from behind.
"Don't flatter yourself," I lie, shaking the strainer to get all of the excess water out. "And our daughter is just upstairs. Don't act like an idiot please."
"You're acting like she wouldn't love to have her parents back together," he mumbles, his hot breath against my ear. "And besides, you ain't pushed me away yet."
He got me there.
"Whatever," I mutter, heading back over to the stove and pouring the pasta into my homemade Alfredo sauce.
He comes up from behind me again, his big hands stroking my sides, and somehow leaving even more goosebumps behind.
"Good comeback," he mumbles, and starts kissing my neck.
I bite my lower lip gently and tilt my head back, laying it against his chest to give him more access. "Joshua..."
"Feels good, huh?" he coos sexily against my jawline. "Daddy could never forget your favorite spots."
Once the pasta and sauce are fully combined, I turn towards him and fold my arms. "Josh, we've been apart for well over 2 years. What makes you think I'd still call you daddy?"
I mean, of course I would.
But this explanation should be interesting.
He cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek and his dreamy eyes staring deep into mine.
"I remember all those late nights," he begins, caressing my ass with his free hand. "When this ass was all mine. I loved seeing it arched in the air while I fucked you from behind. My favorite was when I'd shove my face in it to swallow that pussy whole. All you said was 'daddy please' this and 'yes daddy' that. You miss that just as much as I do, huh baby?"
With every dirty memory that leaves his dreamy lips, I feel myself getting wetter and wetter.
God, the things this man does to me.
"More than anything," I reply, my voice just above a whisper. "But I don't miss being apart from you all the time. We'd have sex just like you said, and then I wouldn't see you for a week, sometimes two. I felt so alone. So used."
His eyes sadden, as his thumb starts to stroke my cheek again. "We were so young, baby. But we're grown now. We know better and we can make it work. I'm willing to try again, if you are."
I let out a deep sigh, wrapping my arms around his neck and playing with his curls. "I don't know."
"Say yes mama," he practically begs, his thumb now grazing my bottom lip. "I've been missing you so much. I'd give anything to have your beautiful self belong to me again. For our daughter to have her mommy and daddy back together again. To come home after a long day and fall asleep with this gorgeous body in my arms again. I love you baby. Just say the words and I'll be your Jey-Daddy again."
Jey-Daddy.
A nickname I gave him the first time we ever had sex.
So many unwanted memories, but so many good ones too.
I take a deep breath before standing on my tippy toes and pressing my lips to his.
I don't know why I'm doing this instead of responding, but it feels so good.
Better than words anyway.
He automatically responds, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, making the kiss slow and passionate.
Our lips and tongues move perfectly in sync as he lightly grips my neck.
When we finally pull away, he looks into my eyes again. "So is that a yes?"
I lick my lips and give him a soft smile. "Yeet."
He smiles back and pecks my lips then left cheek before pulling me into a hug.
I hug back, resting my head against his chest and inhaling his delicious cocoa butter scent.
"My beautiful lady," he coos, resting his chin on my head. "I love you."
"I love you too," I reply, rubbing his back. "I never stopped."
He kisses my temple and rocks us back and forth.
—————————————————————————————————
The light snores coming from Jalina and Josh fill the room as the credits to "Cinderella III: A Twist in Time" roll on the living room TV.
I press the power button on the remote and look over at the two loves of my life.
Could I be any more lucky?
I pick Jalina up and off of Josh, making sure to be extra careful so that I don't wake either of them up.
She stirs in her sleep but wraps her arms around my neck, causing me to smile softly.
I carry her upstairs and lay her in her bed, lifting the blankets onto her body and making sure to tuck her in extra comfortably.
I press a gentle kiss to her forehead before quietly leaving her bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
I head back downstairs and find Josh still asleep on the couch.
I chuckle quietly at the sound of his loud snores and kneel onto the cushion next to him.
I gently cup his face and stroke his cheek, to which he responds with his eyes fluttering open and a soft smile when he sees me. "Hi baby."
"Hi sleepyhead," I tease, running my fingers through his curls. "I brought Jalina up to bed. You guys were knocked out by the time the movie ended."
He chuckles in response and rubs his eyes while stretching.
"I didn't wanna wake you," I continue. "But I know you have to be somewhere tomorrow and the couch might not be the most comfortable."
He smiles again, and strokes my cheek. "You're an angel, baby. Thank you."
We share a quick kiss before I take his hand and lead us upstairs to bed.
Once we're all cozy under the covers, we just kinda lay there, staring into each other's eyes.
"What?" I ask shyly, blushing like a maniac.
One thing about this man: he's always gonna make me blush regardless of the 6 years we spent together.
He chuckles and removes a curl from my face. "You're so pretty, baby."
"Thank you," I reply looking down, my face hot to the touch.
He gently lifts my chin and stares deep into my eyes.
"I'm so happy you're mine again." *Kiss* "You're everything." *Kiss* "I love you so much, baby. And I will for as long as you'll let me." *One final kiss*
I kiss back each time and bite my bottom lip after the last one before speaking up. "I love you too. More than you'll ever know."
We share a smile as I wrap my arms around him.
He rubs my lower back and buries his head into my neck, giving me a ton of kisses there too.
When we finally pull away, he puckers his lips and I giggle before accepting his offer, pressing mine to his once more.
Soon enough, we drift off to sleep in each other's arms.
Lord, thank you for bringing the man of my dreams back into my life.
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Liked by uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, truekofi, and 74.6k others
giannamacri my entire 🫶🏽
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uceyjucey Never lettin' you go again 🥶🩵
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masonmyluv ¡ 1 year ago
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Birthday present - Pedri Gonzalez
A/N: A little something I wrote for his bday🤭 Happy birthday to this cutie aka Pedri Potter Gonzalez Lopez 💙🎉
Warnings: smut 18+ 🔞🔞🔞
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"Pablo, I told you I don't want to celebrate"
"But it's your birthday!"
"We have an important game tomorrow" Pedri said. "So? We should at least sing you happy birthday" Pablo said, dragging Pedri inside the locker room. Pablo double-checked your text earlier, saying that you landed safely and were about to pick the cake.
"Happy birthday!!!" Everyone yelled when Pedri entered the room. "Yeah thanks guys" he smiled. "Happy birthday my guy" Ferran said, hugging him. "W-what..." Pedri was at loss of words when he noticed you behind Ferran's back. "Surprise" you giggled. "How... you..." he was at loss of words as he pulled you into a tight hug. "I feel betrayed" Ferran joked. "Missed you" Pedri whispered into your neck. "Missed you too, my love" you said, pecking his lips. "Happy" kiss "birthday" kiss "to the best" kiss "boyfriend" kiss "in the world" kiss.
"Okay get a room" Ferran shouted. "You brought cake?" Pedri asked. "Yes, and everyone is allowed to eat" Xavi said, already on his second slice, which he thought no one saw, but you did. Hehe. Everyone sat down, eating cake, all except Pedri. He was looking at you and playing with your fingers. "You okay? The cake is really good" you said, mouth full of cake. "Yeah... just happy you're here" he said, kissing the top of your head. "You don't seem really happy" Pablo butted in. "Tomorrow I'll be at the game wearing your t-shirt" you whispered. "And tomorrow I'll give you the other present" you added so that no one could hear. "Now he's smiling" Pablo smirked. "I wonder what you told him". "Nothing" Pedri replied too fast. "Mhm" Pablo said. You shot him a look, but couldn't be mad at him. After all, he was the one who helped you plan the surprise for your boyfriend, so you were thankful to have a friend like him.
—— day of the game ——
"Good luck, guapo" you whispered, kissing him passionately. "Mhm... don't want to let you go" he said, hands squeezing your ass. "Get a room" Ferran shouted. "I promise. Tonight" you said, pecking his lips again. Little did he know you will be busy that night, but not in the sexy way.
After the game, in which he scored, you were on your way to his place. "Are you okay? You don't seem that excited after a goal" you asked. You knew something was wrong with him since you kissed him after the game. Usually, he would talk you through the whole game, but now he was surprisingly quiet. "No, sorry, I really am. But..." he said. "I wish my parents were here. And Fer. He didn't even wish me happy birthday" he said and you could cry in that moment, telling him that they were waiting for him at home. "Oh Pedri, I'm sure he will" you said, texting Fer that you were on the way. This man, this man right here made your ovaries explode at how much he cared about his family. "I wish they were at the game too. Together with you. Supporting me. But they said they were too busy to fly here" he said thought greeted teeth. You bit your tongue, not wanting to ruin the surprise, but he was making it hard. Fucking ovaries, slow down. "They said they'll come in the weekend, no?" You asked. "Yeah, but it's not the same thing" he said defeated, parking the car. "Hey... look at me. It's your birthday and they love you, I'm sure they have something for you" you said, pecking his lips. "I hope you're right".
"Sorpresaaaa!!!"
Pedri remained like a statue in the door when he saw his family inside his house. "Don't you think we forgot about your birthday, you fucking idiot!" Fer said, hugging his brother. "You're an idiot" he repeated, fighting his little brother. Pedri then went to hug his parents. "If it wasn't for Y/N..." Fer said, bringing his attention back to you. "It was her idea. All this. And we were her accomplices" Fer grinned. Pedri ran to hug you tightly, whispering just how much he loves you. "I love you too, guapo. Now, let's celebrate" you said as Fer handed you a glass of champagne.
You talked with his mom about the match, then Pedri was curious how they couldn't make it to the game. Their flight got delayed, but you had this brilliant idea to wait for him home. "Wow... my girlfriend is really special, isn't she?" Pedri said, kissing the top of your head. "And now she'll say oh no, I didn't do anything" Ferran said, imitating your voice. "Hey!" You pouted, but still laughed at his joke.
"Hey! Where is the birthday boy?" Ferran asked after you had dinner. The birthday boy was sucking his girlfriend's face in the kitchen. "Tell me they aren't sleeping here" Pedri asked, sucking on your neck. "No. They're staying at Fer. Be patient, Pedri" you said, pushing him away. "I want you, amor" he whispered. "I know. I want to properly wish you a happy birthday too" you said, hugging him. "Ah he's here, where else he could be?" Fer said, seeing your flushed faces. "Slow down, cabron. We'll leave in a minute" Fer said. You bid your goodbyes to his family, promising to have breakfast with them in the city. "If you won't be busy" Fer winked before the left.
"Finally" Pedri said, hungrily kissing you. "Pedri... stop" you said, pushing him away. "What? Did I do something?" He asked panicked. "No, I just want to properly give you my present" you giggled, taking his hand and running to your shared bedroom. "Just wait here and be naked" you winked before disappearing into the bathroom to put on the new set of lingerie you bought special for this occasion. Meanwhile, Pedri undressed himself until his boxers, impatiently waiting for you. "You ready?" You asked from the bathroom. "Yeah..." he replied instantly.
"Fuck baby... I could come in my pants right now" he groaned, as you cat walked to him, pushing him down on the mattress. "What do you like more, Papi?" You asked, pulling his boxers down and eyeing him up and down. "Fuck me" he groaned as you sat on his thigh. "What do you like, Papi?". "Those panties, princess. I can feel you dripping on me" he smirked and you blushed. "Let me make you feel good, papi" you said, kneeling in front of him. "You wanna suck me? Come get it" he smirked as you lowered your lips to brush against his tip. He shuddered as you lips wrapped around him. "Looks so good princess. My cock into your pretty mouth" he said. When he hit the back of your throat, you both let out a moan. "Fuck baby... just like that" he praised, fucking your face. Your nails dug into his thighs, leaving marks behind, but he didn't care. He wanted you to mark him up for everyone to see.
"Let me give you your present Papi" you pouted when he pulled out of your mouth. "Wanna come inside your pussy, baby. Now lay back and relax" he said, dipping his head into your core. "But Papi, it's supposed to be about you tonight" you moaned as he pleasured you with his tongue. "It's also about you, mi amor" he said. "Giving me, hm, let's say, 5 orgasms" he said. "It's too much, Papi" you moaned, already close to the first one. "I know you can. You're my good girl" he said, sucking harshly on your clit, triggering your orgasm. "Fuck Pedri..." you moaned when he pushed a finger inside. "So sweet for me, love" he praised, seeing how you closed your eyes in pleasure when he added another finger into your hole. "F-fuck..." you moaned again, his fingers brushing your G-spot. "Orgasm number 2 incoming" he chuckled as you rode his fingers and came.
"Papi please fuck me" you said as he teased your hole with the tip of his dick. "I'll fuck you so good, baby... you won't be able to walk tomorrow" he said. "Good thing you have the day free" you said as he pushed all the way in. "So tight and warm" he praised, moving a little to test the waters. But after two orgasms, you were more than ready to take him, so he thrusted harder. While he fucked your cunt, he suck on your breasts, pleasuring your hardening nipples while you were a moaning mess. "Orgasm number 3... let go, love" he said and you moaned louder as you came on his dick. He pulled out, waiting for you to regain your breath before flipping you on your stomach. "Pepi... can't" you whined as he helped you on all fours. "I know you can" he said, harshly slapping your ass. "You're my good good girl" he said, plunging himself back into you. You moaned, over sensitive, his dick feeling much deeper as he fucked you from behind. "Papi... fuck..." you moaned as he continued slapping your ass. "Take it like a good girl" he groaned and you could feel his breath on your neck. "You're doing so good for the birthday boy" he praised, pressing a kiss to your ear. "Only for you, Pedri" you moaned, feeling another orgasm coming. "Yes, baby, only I can fuck you like this" he groaned as he felt you clenching again. "Let go when you're ready, love" he whispered. You cried as you came and he spilled himself into you, breathing heavily. He didn't pull out right away and you knew why. You squirted all over him, your wetness dripping down your legs. He finally pulled away, helping you on your back as you were too embarrassed of what just happened. "I'm... I'm sorry" you shuttered, seeing what a mess you made on the bed. "Love, hey... that's the best present you could've given me" he said, pecking your lips. "I'm helping you clean yourself yeah?" He asked and you nodded, him bringing a wet cloth to wipe everything off.
"The best present ever" he said as you laid your head on his chest. "Happy birthday, Pedri. Love you so much" you yawned. "Love you too, baby. You still have to give me one orgasm, so don't forget about that" he chuckled. "Of course, Pepi. But I have to rest, you know" you said, blushing. "I know" he smirked. "Night Pepi" you said, falling asleep on his chest as he played with your hair. "Night, love" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.
— next morning —
"Mhmm Pedri" you moaned as his head was between your legs again. "Pedri!" "What?" He asked. "We had to have breakfast with your parents" you said as he continued pleasuring you with his tongue. "I'm having my breakfast right now" he smirked, licking your wetness. "Fuck... we'll go after this" you moaned. "If you're able to walk, love" he grinned. "Pedri... fuck" you moaned as you came on his face. "And that's the fifth orgasm. You're welcome" he grinned, hugging you. "Te amo, Papi" you whispered. "Still want to go?" He asked. "No" you yawned, cuddling into his chest. "Good. Prepare for a lot of teasing from Ferran" he laughed. "I don't care when I have you" you mumbled. "I know. Me neither. Plus, he's jealous he ain't got a chick in his bed" he joked. "Good thing you have" you replied. "I have a girlfriend and that's even better" he said, pecking your lips.
Hope you like it 🩷
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nervousgardenerkid ¡ 2 years ago
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Paper rings
a/n: i'm so sorry this took so long oh my god. i planned to post this on valentine's day but shit hit the fan so bad and i've had to take my cat to the vet twice this month :/ and i had to get some people to make this dude leave me alone cause boundaries aren't a thing anymore apparently. ANYWHO!!! i hope you guys enjoy this! again sorry it took so long! credit to the gif owner!!
warnings: mean parents (mainly dad), not proofread (that's a warning itself), there's probably some cursing in here, angst to fluff!! no pronouns used! everyone is free to read :)
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Your hands shook as you shoved clothes into your bag. You could still hear your parents shouting at each other downstairs but you didn't care, not right now at least. You bite down on your bottom lip trying to stop your own crying while they fought.
“That is our child! I will not have you kick them out!” your mom shouted.
“So you're okay with them running around with a drug dealer while we work our asses off to provide for them?!”
You flinch at the booming voice echoing through the house. They weren't supposed to find out like this, you're glad Eddie managed to run out of the house before your father could strangle him. You're standing at the top of the stairs watching your parents argue, your mom pinches the bridge of her nose while your dad continues to yell.
“We don't work our asses off so that they can fuck around and be delinquent!”
“I know…” your mom sighed.
“We didn't give away our weekends to work while they go out to get high and do only God knows what!”
“I know! Don't you think I know this?! But sweetie…they're young-”
“Young or not they're not to be seen with him ever again.”
“Don't I get a say in this?!”
Your parents turn toward the stairs shocked to see you down.
“Baby we said go to your room-” your mom started but was cut off by your dad.
“No, you do not get a say in this. You are going to your room to study-”
Tears well in your eyes as you shake your head. “Dad please-”
“No!” he shouted.
“You're not even trying to hear me out!”
“There’s nothing to hear! End of discussion!”
Silence falls over the three of you as you wipe away a stray tear that fell down your cheek.
“You can't stop me from seeing him. I won't let you.”
“If you see him again you can pack your things and get out of my house.”
Your eyes widened as your mom gasped out your dad’s name while her hands flew to her mouth in shock. You don't even bother to look in your dad’s direction when you grab the bag that was hidden behind your legs on the last step of the stairs. You miss the look of shock on his face as you brush past him, your mom following close behind trying to reason with you.
“Sweetie, go back to your room, it's raining crazy out there, your father didn't mean what he said.”
You stop walking, your hand on the door as you turn around to face the man that kicked you out of your childhood home.
“Say it,” you say through gritted teeth.
“He didn't-”
“Not you mom, I know you want me to stay but I need to hear it from his mouth.”
You feel hopeful when you see him make his way toward you but that all goes away when he opens the door and looks at you with sad and tired eyes.
“You can come back when you've come to your senses.”
You don't even bother hiding the tears streaming down your face as you exit the house quickly trying to get away from the shouts that were quick to reach your ears. You stood still on the sidewalk, the drops of rain mixing in with your tears as one thought ran through your head.
Where the fuck were you supposed to go now?
-
You don't remember how you managed to make it over to the all too familiar trailer park but you're grateful to have made it in one piece. Although it is late into the night, you don't hesitate to lift your hand up and knock on the door three times. While you wait for someone to answer, you wrap your arms around your body to keep your frame warm while you try your best to avoid the rain that's pouring from the sky.
“Y/n? What are you doing here?”
Your eyes shoot up to the voice at the door and tears well up again before you clear your throat.
“Can I come in Wayne? I-i’m sorry for waking you I-i just need-”
He gently shushes you and brings you into the warm home before closing the door.
“Stay here sweetheart,” he whispered while locking the door. “I'll get you a towel and wake Eddie up for you.”
You mutter out a quiet thank you but before he leaves he places a hand on your shoulder and looks at you with kind eyes.
“I'm not sure what happened with your folks, but you always have a home here kid.”
You give him a sad smile and watch as he walks away to get you a towel. Your eyes scan the all-too-familiar trailer and you smile when you see a picture of Eddie and Wayne hanging by the door. Your heart swelled when you saw how happy it looked with just the two of them, who knows? Maybe you'll be happy without your parents breathing down your neck and trying to control almost every aspect of your life.
You furrow your brows studying the picture some more. Although your parents were controlling you knew they loved you. All they wanted was the best for you.
Oh god, you think to yourself. What if this was a mistake? What if they were right and you shouldn't be hanging out with someone like Eddie? The town does talk and he doesn't exactly have the best track record. Maybe you should go home, maybe you should just sleep on this and maybe you can even convince your parents to give you some sort of freedom. The sound of someone stumbling down the hall breaks you free from your thoughts as you turn around to see what was the cause of the noise.
“Shit- ow,” Eddie grumbled as he hopped over a pile of mess in the hall. He stops in his tracks when your eyes lock with his and suddenly everything comes rushing back to you. The fight, you walking in the rain, waking up both of the Munson men.
“Eddie…” you whimpered out.
Eddie is quick to rush over to your side and wrap a warm towel around your rain-soaked body.
“Hey, hey, it's okay-”
“It's not okay Eddie!”
Eddie nods his head. “Okay, it's not okay, what's going on sweetheart? Why are you here so late?”
You stumble over your words. You try whispering, keeping in mind that Wayne probably went back to sleep but little sobs make themselves known from time to time. Eddie gently shushes you as he leads you toward his bedroom and sits you on the edge of his bed.
“Here, it's not much but it'll keep you warm,” he said quietly while placing the black sweatshirt beside you. You mumble out a quiet thank you as he turns around and lets you get changed.
“I'm done,” you whisper.
Eddie turns around and offers you a small smile before he lays down on the bed and pats the spot next to him. You take a seat next to him and lean back against the headboard, your fingers falling to play with the hem of the sweatshirt he gave you.
“So,” he said quietly. “Are you gonna tell me what brings you to my humble abode?”
You giggle and wipe away a small tear.
“Parents kicked me out.”
Eddie sits up quickly, his eyes are wide in shock and you're looking at everything except for him.
“Shit…I'm sorry to hear that.”
You shrugged your shoulders and finally laid down, bringing the blanket up to you. Your sore and stressed body is finally getting the much-needed rest it deserves. No wonder Eddie never shows up for first period, his bed is practically a cloud that lulls you to sleep without even knowing it. You were too busy fighting to keep your eyes open that you didn't even realize Eddie got back into his usual position until he asked you another question.
“Was it because of me?”
Your eyes snap open as your mind scatters trying to think of what to say. The last thing you want to do is make Eddie feel upset, but your silence was speaking loud enough for you.
“I get it if you don't want to hang out anymore. I don't have a squeaky-clean record like you-”
You laughed. “My record isn't squeaky clean.”
“Yeah because you met me.”
A familiar silence falls over you both and the tension in the air is thick.
“Are they gonna let you go back?” he asks quietly.
You nod your head. “Only if I stop seeing you.”
Eddie bites the inside of his bottom lip. He clears his throat and nods his head almost as if he's accepting that this is the last time he'll see you.
“I don't want to.”
Eddie furrows his brows in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
“I don't want to stop seeing you,”
A blanket of silence covers you both but it's different this time, almost as if Eddie is waiting for you to finish saying what you want to say. What you need to say.
“I like you, Eddie. I like how you made studying with you more than studying. It was fun, I found myself looking forward to seeing you every Wednesday after school.”
You bring your hand up to your lips and anxiously chew on your fingernails.
“I know you might not feel the same way, and that's okay. I just…I don't want to stop seeing you.”
“I don't want to stop seeing you either.”
Before you had time to let the words sink in Eddie had his arms wrapped around you, your body pressing into his. You feel his lips gently kiss the crown of your head as he gives you a little squeeze.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered.
You shimmied your arms free from his embrace and placed both hands on his face. He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes at your warm touch.
“I want this. I want you.”
“Are you sure-”
“I want it all Eddie. I want all the trouble we're gonna face, I want to come home to you after a bad day, I want you to wrap me in your arms when you see me. I want this.”
Not even bothering to hide the smile that stretched across his face he tightens his arms around you again and gently nudges your head with his nose.
“You know,” he starts. “People are gonna talk when they see us. Word will get around and your parents will find out.”
You shrug your shoulders leaning up just a little bit to place a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Let them talk then. What are they gonna do? Kick me out?" a chuckle escapes your lips as you snuggle into his side.
"It's you and me against the world now Munson."
"Yeah," Eddie sighs with a smile.
"You and me.”
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runningfrom2am ¡ 4 months ago
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requiem // part six
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summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 2.6k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.
a/n: omg hi i am finally back with a new part for this series!! kind of a filler but idk i still think it's cute :) enjoy!
also, reminder to follow @runningfrom2am-library and turn on my notifications there to join my taglist for this series!!
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board
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two years earlier
"So, I'm thinking balloons over the whole ceiling of the foyer, gold and red- thoughts?" Your mother asks as you enter the threshold of your family's lake house.
"You say that like you haven't already ordered everything." You giggle in response, footsteps echoing across the tile as you step off the carpet of the grand entryway.
It was less of a "house" and more of a mansion, in Coriolanus' opinion.
He had been here countless times throughout the years and sporadically would spend the weekends here with you and your parents when you didn't want to be "bored" and "lonely" on the large lakefront property. Poor you, he always thought sarcastically, but would never voice it.
Regardless, he loved getting to come out here with you in the summers and occasionally for a day or two over the holidays when you could skate on the frozen lake. You had taught him how yourself, holding onto his hands at nine years old and skating backward in front of him while he channeled the look of a baby deer taking its first steps. Your little laugh and small words of encouragement were the only thing that kept him upright- most of the time.
But this time, it was summer, and he had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Not because he was all that excited about seeing your classmates who he had needed just as much of a break from as his studies, but more so because it was your birthday. Or, close enough to it.
Your sixteenth birthday, more specifically, and your parents were pulling out all the stops. Thus the balloons and your family's staff running around like their lives depended on it to get everything ready for the early afternoon when all the other guests would be arriving to stay for the night and the following morning.
"Okay, well, yes, I did, but I knew you would like it so it's fine." Your mother insists and you look over at Coryo, rolling your eyes behind her back. She was right, you didn't mind the red and gold, but it was no surprise you didn't have any say in the planning of your own birthday party. It was more for your parents than it was for you, anyway. More for the reputation of your family name, although, you didn't doubt that it would be fun.
"Come on." You whisper to your best friend, gently tugging on his shirt to pull him upstairs.
"Mom, we're going upstairs until the others get here!" You call over your shoulder, already running up the staircase.
"Yes, yes, I'll send someone for you when everything's ready. Just shout if you get hungry." She agrees mindlessly, already putting down bags of last-minute snacks you had picked up on the way.
"Thank you!" Coryo adds in as well as you pull him along.
She laughs softly and shakes her head. "Of course, Coriolanus. You kids have fun. Oh, and go ahead and leave your overnight stuff just in the sitting room upstairs!"
When your other classmates who were able to make the hour-long trip finally all made it out to the beach house, it quickly became bustling with life. The large floor-to-roof windows that spanned both stories of the home were pulled open completely, opening it out to the porch, the pool, and the lakefront. The music was loud, and your parents had set up every screen and projector on the property, inside and out, playing home videos of you when you were growing up. Most featured your performances, and you loved those, but your favourites were of you and your friends.
Coriolanus was a star in your home videos, undeniably. Some of the girls from your class were sitting on the back porch with virgin cocktails your parents' staff had made, pointing out themselves in clips from school events and previous birthday parties and laughing at their younger selves.
Laying on the dock next to Coryo and Clemmie, you were laughing at the boys at the other end of the dock trying to shove each other off when your father's boat pulled back up next to you and he cut the engine.
"You want to go next, bird?" He calls to you as Festus and Pup stumble out of the boat, drenched from head to toe and dripping all over you and your towels.
You look over at Coryo, smiling hopefully at him and he nods, getting up quickly while you make the same effort to get Clemmie to come with you. "Clemmie, come on. The tube fits three people well enough." You tell her as you get up, pulling at your bathing suit to make sure it is still fitting right.
"No, no. I'm good. My parents say that's a death trap, and I believe it." She chuckles, waving her hand dismissively. "I'll be here. You two have fun."
"Suit yourself." You shrug, taking your father's hand as he helps you onto the boat, and Sejanus Plinth, who was already onboard and apparently decided to just stay, hands you a life jacket which you quietly thank him for.
"Clemensia, it's perfectly safe. I'll even go slow for you." Your father offers her as you zip yours up, watching Coryo do the same. Weirdly enough, you can't help but notice it looks good on him. Just about anything does, though.
"No thank you, I'm just fine right here. I'm not the best swimmer as it is." Your friend replies gratefully. "I prefer land."
"Alright, then, but we'll be doing trips all afternoon if you change your mind." He tells her, going back to the helm of the small speed boat reserved specifically for your tubing and wakeboarding and starting the engine up again.
The boat starts moving and you go over to the ship's radio, clicking it on again and turning it up to hear the music better over the sounds of rushing water as he takes you out deeper on the lake.
Once you're satisfied with the volume and the song, you climb up to the front of the boat to sit next to the two boys who are waiting. You weren't sure what they were talking about, making small talk most likely, knowing the both of them, but regardless it stopped when you sat down.
You enjoy the music and the spray of fresh water on your skin for a couple of minutes until you're far enough from the shores to stop.
You and Coryo both get up with a fair bit of excitement, having always loved going tubing with your father behind the wheel of the boat every summer.
"Sejanus, are you coming?" You ask hopefully as you and your friend throw the large inflatable off the back of the boat and into the water, pulling the rope back so it's close enough to climb on.
He looks to your father, who nods encouragingly at him. He'd been on the boat for almost all of the afternoon but hadn't once actually got on the tube. It wasn't much of a secret that he wasn't very well-liked by other kids, but his parents had insisted that he attend your birthday, so he just decided to stay close to one of your parents.
"Um, okay. Sure." He replies quietly with a nervous nod.
Out of all of your classmates, he was the most comfortable with the two of you- being among some of the only kids who hadn't been mean to him in the past.
"Hold on tight." Your father tells him as you and Coryo get situated, laying on your stomachs next to each other and holding onto the handles by your heads and leaving enough room for Sejanus on your other side. "These two are professionals, I don't hold back like with the other kids." He says teasingly, giving you a knowing look.
He climbs on next to you while you hold onto the back of the boat for him, trying to keep it as steady as possible.
"Don't worry, it's gonna be fun." You say to him when you hear the motor start up again and you give your dad a thumbs up to start going.
"It does look like fun." Sejanus agrees quietly, and you can hardly hear him over the waves as the boat moves slowly away from you and the rope starts to unravel.
You turn to look at Coryo again, giving him a smile. "Here, let's switch handles." You suggest, letting go of one of yours and nudging his hand away from his to trade so your arms would overlap on the somewhat rough material that was known to give you both rug burns in the past. "That way we can keep each other on."
He nods, chuckling to himself as he complies, looping his hand under your handle and gripping on tight. "Yeah, we can definitely try."
You knew it wouldn't make much of a difference, but you liked the way his arm felt over yours; warm from the heat of the sun but somehow chilling you down to your bones.
The tube jerks to the right to catch up with the rope as your father's boat gets far enough away and begins to pull you, and you can feel Sejanus tense up beside you as you start to pick up speed.
"You gotta relax!" You call out to him over the rushing water, and he just looks at you with wide eyes as you continue straight for the time being. "Lean into it and you'll stay on easier!"
Sejanus didn't really listen. That much is clear when within a matter of minutes, hitting a corner and bouncing over the waves created by the boat, he tumbles right off the side.
You glance back over your shoulder to see that he's okay, but with the speed you're already moving and the turn your father makes to go back for him, that was a clear mistake.
You weren't paying attention when you hit the corner hard, swinging out behind the boat with the now uneven weight distribution, and before you know it the tube is flipping completely and rolling fast over the surface of the water.
Coryo hears you scream as you suddenly disappear from his side, which only makes it flip faster. He somehow holds on, but not without a blinding pain in his hand and up his arm as it gets caught in the handle that wasn't his, and then he's quickly surrounded by the blue of the lake as well.
You're giggling when your father circles back to you after helping Sejanus out of the water, and you can still see Coryo a ways away. You never realized how fast you were going until you both got thrown off, and you were usually very far away in the water.
Climbing up onto the boat and dripping wet, you pull the tube back up to the boat and hold on to the rope while your father steers you over to your friend, his blonde curls soaked and clinging to his forehead, almost completely covering his eyes.
"Coryo!" You call out as you get closer, laughing through your words. You get closer to the back ladder, prepared to help pull him out. He doesn't respond, though he's looking at you, and you realize quickly that he's ghostly pale- more so than usual, and he's clutching his hand to his chest. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, your smile fading quickly as you lean over the edge to reach for him.
He nods stiffly, and when he reaches out to take your hand, you notice that he's trembling.
"Are you hurt? What's wrong?" You ask, and you quickly hear your father's steps behind you.
"I- um..." You can tell as you try and help him up that he's embarrassed to admit that something's wrong- though he doesn't need to be.
"Dad?" You begin to ask for help, worry seeping into your tone, but he's already there. He gently nudges you out of the way and reaches into the water to pull Coryo out, which, is decently easy for him to do. He was always a skinny kid, and right now you were grateful for that.
"You okay, son? Let me see that." Your father says once Coryo gets his footing, still holding his hand close to his chest.
"You hurt your hand?" You ask when he doesn't move, just staring between you and your father with shock plastered all over his face.
He nods slightly, teeth chattering, and you hear that Sejanus must have turned down the music.
Your father gestures for him to show him his injured hand again, holding his own to take at it and look. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to take a look."
Coryo looks at you for a split second before looking away again, carefully holding his hand out for your father to look at.
Your father decided after that that maybe that wasn't the best activity to take other people's kids on while they were under his supervision. Secretly, it's a relief that Coryo was the one who got injured from it- he was closer with your family than anyone else, and there likely wouldn't be someone showing up at your door within the week to press charges over a broken thumb. You were still worried, though.
You made quick work upon returning to dry land of hurrying upstairs to your room with him, arm wrapped around his waist as your father tied up the boat. It was only his hand that was injured, but you had never in your life seen someone so pale- Coryo looked like he could collapse at any minute. 
"Someone's grabbing ice for it, just sit down on the bed and I'll get you some water." You say as you guide him to sit on your bed that sat against the corner of the large room, only mildly aware of the shake in your voice and the panic you were quickly descending into.
"I-I'm okay, it's really not that big of a deal..." Coryo mutters and you shake your head, about to leave when your mother walks in in a hurry.
"I brought some ice, darling." She says as she brushes past you to sit next to him and you stand clear out of the way. You needed to give her the space to be a mother and help- you knew that much.
You look around for Coryo's overnight bag while she helps hold the ice pack wrapped in a dish towel to his hand, but you can't find it anywhere. "Mom, we left Coryo's stuff in here this morning, did any of the staff touch it?" You ask, hoping to find him a shirt to cover his shivering skin. The shock, the air conditioning of the house while still dripping wet, and the ice pack were not a friendly combination.
"Oh, I had it moved to the sitting room." She points to the door and your brow furrows slightly.
All your friends who were spending the night were sleeping in the sitting room, and there were beds and a projector screen set up in there with snacks for movies and everything, but you and Coryo were supposed to stay in here when it was time to actually go to sleep. "What? Why? We're sleeping in here."
Your mother shrugs. "I don't know, honey, I just feel that it's time that you both have some of your own space."
What she means is 'I don't think it's appropriate for the two of you to share a bed anymore.'
You and Coryo look at each other, only briefly, and it's only safe to assume that you're both feeling the same thing.
You had never been in less of a rush to grow up, and to be forced to grow apart.
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no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!
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honeyjars-sims ¡ 1 month ago
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3.37 Soulmates
Today I’m spending some time with Pops. While I was camping, he found out that the LGBT center where he’s been working forever will be closing in just a couple weeks and he’ll be out of a job. It wasn’t unexpected–they’ve been having funding issues for a while–but it still sucks. Unfortunately, Dad is in San My for a gig this weekend, so I figure Pops could use some company.
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“I’m really sorry about your job,” I tell him as he finishes washing the dishes. “Are you guys gonna be okay?”
“We have a good amount in savings, and I’ve already been in contact with someone at the LGBT center in Del Sol. They’ve all but offered me a position there that pays more and has more flexibility.”
“Wow, that’s great! So I guess you won’t have much of a reason to stay in Evergreen Harbor, then.”
“Not really. We could probably find a smaller place closer to the LGBT center.”
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I know what that means. There’s no reason my parents should have to pay for another 3 bedroom house when their kids are grown. “I guess it’s time for me to find a place, too.”
“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, but I think you’re ready for it.”
“Yeah, I am. I really appreciate you guys taking me in for as long as you did.”
“You’ve come a long way, Johnny. You’ll be just fine.”
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“What about you? You’ll be all alone when Dad is traveling.”
“That’s the good thing about this job. I’ll be able to work remotely some, so I can travel with Dad sometimes.”
“Oh, that’s good then. I know it’s not easy for you two to be away from each other.” I pause. There’s something that’s been on my mind since I came back from my camping trip, and Pops seems like the perfect person to help me figure it out. “Do you think you and Dad are soulmates?”
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“Soulmates? Hmm.” He stops for a moment to consider. “No, I don’t think we are,” he finishes.
“Really? Why not?” I'm taken aback by his answer. What does he mean, they're not soulmates?
“Well, you remember how Dad and I met, right?”
“Yeah, you saw each other at a protest and sparks flew or something cheesy like that.”
“Mm-hmm. But I don’t think I’ve ever told you the full story of what happened that night. Before I ended up at the protest, I was at your mom’s apartment–she told me she needed to talk to me about something. Instead, I told her I was gay and couldn’t be in a relationship with her anymore, and I left–without finding out that she was pregnant.”
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“Oh. She was going to tell you that night?”
“Yes, until she decided that I wasn’t the kind of man that should raise children. If things had been different–if she had told me she was pregnant before I came out to her–I would have stayed.”
“You would’ve kept pretending to be straight?” I can't imagine what his life would have been like but it sounds pretty terrible. And to think he would have chosen that because of me and Chantal?
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“For a while at least. And who knows, maybe eventually I would have found someone else to love and I’d still be happy. But I wouldn’t have met your dad that night.”
“Ok, but that didn’t happen. What does that have to do with being soulmates?”
“Because, Johnny, if I’d stayed with her a little longer then the things that happened to you and Chantal at your mom’s house wouldn’t have happened. I would have been there to keep you safe and well cared for. I just can’t believe that your Dad and I were meant to be together when the circumstances that led to us meeting were also the circumstances that led to my children being hurt and neglected.”
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“Well, maybe it’s fate and you would’ve met a different way.” I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what Pops is saying. A world where he and Dad aren't together just doesn't make sense.
“Maybe. But I don’t think any of these hypotheticals really matter. Like you said, that’s not what happened. What matters is that today, in the here and now, I can’t imagine my life without him. Any reason in particular why you’re thinking about soulmates?” He raises his eyebrows knowingly.
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“I guess it’s more that I’m wondering how you know if someone is the right person for you, but it kind of sounds like it’s not that simple.”
“Well, a sign isn’t going to drop down from the heavens that says ‘This person is the one,’ but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Find the person you can’t imagine your life without. I don’t know if that’s what you were wanting to hear, but I hope it answers your question.”
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Find the person you can’t live without. Maybe there aren’t signs falling from the sky, but those words are about as close as I’ll get. “It does," I tell him. "It may not be the answer I was expecting, but I think it cleared something up for me.”
“I see. Do you want to talk about it?"
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Normally I would jump at the chance to get some input, but now I don't feel like I need it. I shake my head. “No, I think I can handle it from here.” The thought makes me nervous, but I can’t avoid this. I need to talk to Lacey.
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stevesworld96 ¡ 1 year ago
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look at me now (part one)
--- steve harrington x fem!reader
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childhood friends to strangers to lovers. this is a more realistic look at developing a relationship with steve, set in canon while you know nothing about the monsters, or the nightmares, or all of his scars.
a fic about knowing steve before, during, and after the events of the upside down. including all the ways your friendship with him grows, wilts, then grows again - to blossom into something he probably doesn’t deserve. 
tags: fem reader, no use of y/n, childhood friends, typical king steve meanness, yes there is an allusion to steve being icarus, kissing, fighting and making up, cliches, a lot of emotions, depression and suffering etc, reader has an aunt, mentions of death and injuries, codependent steve and robin, steve is so so so so so so so sad. hawkins doesn't get destroyed after the vecna fight - everything else follows canon
please read both parts, i worked so hard on this fic and i'm really proud of it :)
part two!!!
word count: 14878
-
You knew Steve Harrington better than you knew anybody. At least, you liked to think so. 
You were five when you moved to Hawkins into the house right next door to Steve’s, and as things go when you’re a kid, that automatically made you best friends. At that age you didn’t have to try to be friends with somebody - as long as they lived nearby and had a bike, that sealed the deal. 
He was only knee high to his mother, hiding behind her legs when she brought him over to introduce themselves. “We’re the Harrington's,” she said, then with a tight laugh, “minus one - my husband. This is our son. Steve - say hi, Stevie.” 
He didn’t. Your mothers started a polite conversation and your eyes darted between the tall woman and her son. She was dressed like she had somewhere important to be, with red lipstick painted on her lips and pearls hung around her neck. She was pretty. 
Her son didn’t stand with the same pride she had - he was peeking at you, tugging the hem of his mother’s dress and looking down at his feet. You could hardly get a good look at him, and he didn’t even wave back at you. His haircut was prim and proper; the button up shirt he wore was swallowing him.
They came inside for lemonade, and you led Steve into your living room, and by the end of the hour you had instantly become friends, bonding over your toy car collection that Steve loved. 
You were kids - of course things were so easy. 
To see him, all you had to do was walk over to his front door and knock, and you could spend as much time together as you wanted. Or just wait until his parents needed a babysitter - after they learned how much you and Steve loved spending time together, they started to drop him off at your house and you’d have sleepovers for days. 
It was when Mr. Harrington had gotten a big promotion that they’d leave Steve with your family nearly once a week. 
“I’m sorry, Stevie, I know me and Dad haven’t been home much lately. But next month isn’t as busy for us,” his mom would tell him. 
“It’s okay, Mom,” he’d reply. “Don’t worry, I like staying here, so I’m alright.” 
At your age you didn’t see the irony in a seven year old telling his mother that things were okay - shouldn’t it be the other way around? - but those apologies from his mother wouldn’t last very long. And the promises she always made were never kept. Soon enough, she stopped making them altogether. 
Sometimes he’d just show up at your door, and your parents didn’t have to ask questions because they already knew more than you did, and you didn’t understand that he was more comfortable in your bedroom than in his own. 
The routine of your friendship felt like the foundation of your life. Everything you did was with Steve by your side, like you were tied together with an invisible string that couldn’t be broken. Snacks after school were a must; movie nights every other weekend were your safe haven. The last day of school every year you camped out in his backyard under the stars and then woke up early for a big breakfast and a day spent at the arcade. Even as you got older, those things stayed the same. 
You had busier schedules to work around in high school but you still made it work. After-school lunch turned into midnight snacks, and you moved from the arcade to the lake, but you were still intertwined with child-like joy and ease. 
Steve’s other friends were another story. Tommy H was a thorn in your side that you couldn’t pick out, but Steve didn’t get why you hated him so much. At first, you didn’t get it either - you just did.  
Until one day early in your junior year, Tommy H gave you a good enough reason for your disposition. 
Like always, Steve was waiting for you outside of your last class of the day, and you were just about to turn the corner when you heard Tommy’s loud, boisterous, annoying voice. 
“Steve, my boy, what’cha standing around here for?” 
Steve laughed, even though Tommy had said nothing funny. 
“Waiting on your favorite girl so I can get outta here - what’s up, dude?” 
“Come on,” Tommy said, dragging the words out. “We got shit to do, ditch her and let’s get a roll on, if you catch my drift.” 
You could see his stupid face in your head as he spoke - you just wanted him to go away so you could leave. But you’d wait there forever if it meant you didn’t have to have a conversation with him. 
You were hardly paying any mind to their words. 
“Can’t, dude, I’m her ride home. Tomorrow though, for sure.” 
“She’s holding you back, man.” 
But that caught your attention. They were both laughing even though, again, no one had said anything funny. 
“Y’think so?” 
“She even put out?” 
Your eyes rolled so far back to your head they could’ve gotten stuck. 
“It’s not like that with her.” 
“Oh, that’s not what Kimmy thinks.” 
“What? What do you mean - did she say something?” 
You knew Kimmy to be the new flavor of the week, Steve’s new eye candy. It’d be someone new in a matter of days - and this was one brand new trait of his you were struggling to overlook. 
“Just saying, most of the chicks think you’re taken by Miss Bitch -” 
You call Tommy H a dickhead to his face one time and he gives you a nickname that sticks for three years. 
“- and that’s why you’re not getting any action, dude. Gotta shake off the fleas, man.” 
And then Steve laughed. Loud.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to do. You hoped he would defend you even a little bit, but he didn’t. He just laughed, and said, “I’ll think about it, man,” as if he was in on this joke, and then Tommy left. 
And you didn’t know how you felt. 
It’s not like Steve said it. But he had no problem listening to Tommy H talk about you that way. He thought it was funny. 
Or, he was just saving face - did that make a difference?
You knew Tommy’s words were complete bullshit, and you didn’t care about him enough to let it affect you. Maybe Steve felt the same - maybe he just went along with it because it was easier. 
You hoped so, because that’s what you chose to do. You brushed it off and walked out of the room and acted as if nothing happened. 
“Hey - about time.” 
You didn’t reply; he continued talking as you walked together. 
“You hungry?” 
“Thought you were coming over,” you said. “Told you I wanted to build a blanket fort. Remember?” 
He huffed out a scoff, “A blanket fort? Are you six?” The glare you gave him made him reel his judgment back in. “Fine. Let’s go.” 
…
As soon as basketball season was over and you had your weekends back to yourself, you were ready to get through your watch list of movies as quickly as possible. You’d never tell Steve that cheering for him at his games was your least favorite part of your friendship with him - you would always keep that selfishness to yourself. 
And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own mind, lost in planning your movie night, you may have been able to see your next conversation with Steve coming. 
“There she is, been lookin’ all over for you.” 
A heavy arm slung around your shoulders as you walked down the school hall. You didn’t have to question who it was. 
“What do you want, Steve?” 
“Just want to see my best friend in the whole world, is there something wrong with that?” 
You rolled your eyes. Obviously he’s up to something. 
“I’m going to choose to ignore you,” you said, shaking off his arm and stopping at your locker. His back fell into the metal next to you. 
“What’s up?” he asked, and he was trying too hard to be inconspicuous, but you ignored it. 
“Nothing. Oh, I think I finally have a cookie recipe we’ll like. Mrs. Jenkins gave it to me but she made me swear I wouldn’t share her secrets. Gonna pick up the stuff after school - have you picked your movie yet?” 
Then his eyes widened, a bit too much to look genuine. “Oh, shit, is that tonight?” 
“It’s Friday, isn’t it?” 
“I completely forgot about that, shit. I made other plans without thinking.” 
“Well, cancel them,” you said with a straight face. 
“Well… what if you join in on my plans instead?” 
You closed your locker and didn’t even consider entertaining Steve’s idea. “My mom’s already planning to make dinner for you. Are you ready to face her wrath?” 
“Well - no,” he said. “It’s just - y’know, I was supposed to see Nancy tonight, and…” 
“Oh, I get it, you wanna cancel so you can get laid. Is that it?” 
“No, Christ - I’ll be there, alright? But next time, I’m getting my way.” 
 You laughed at him, and the bell rang and ended your conversation. 
You didn’t think the night would go any differently than your normal hangouts. Maybe if you were expecting it, the disappointment wouldn’t have stung so bad. 
He called you early. 
“Hello?” 
“Hey -”
“Hey, have you picked up the movies yet? I forgot to get popcorn, so…” 
“No, I haven’t. Listen, um…” There was static on the line for a moment before he continued. “Sorry, but - can we - are you sure we can’t reschedule? Like, tomorrow night?” 
You groaned, you were annoyed. But even when he argued with you, Steve never ditched your valued traditions - he may act bothered sometimes, but he would always come around. Even if he did gripe about it being childish the entire time.  
That’s what you thought this would be. 
“No, Steve, I have book club and tutoring and dinner with my aunt tomorrow. You know this.” 
“Right. I guess I forgot about that. Okay, well…” 
“...Well?” 
Once again, he was quiet, and you weren’t sure if he was hesitating because he didn’t know what to say, or because he was nervous. 
“Well - I think it’d be really fun if we hung out at my place tonight!” 
“I guess I can bring all the ingredients for the cookies over. You do have a nicer oven…” you said.
“No, like, you can come over with everyone else I invited and we could -” 
“I thought you canceled that?” 
“I was going to, but… Tommy wouldn’t take no for an answer! And we already got the booze, and Nance finally said yes and - and I’d be really happy if you were here too!” 
“...Okay.”
“Okay…?”
You thought for a moment, then decided to ask him the question you were asking yourself. 
“Would you be happy if I was there, or would you be happy if I’m not mad at you for canceling?” 
“Uh - either one.” 
“Right.” 
That answer was good enough for you, even though it wasn’t the one you wanted. You weren’t getting anything you wanted that night, and you weren’t going to fight for it with someone who already had their mind made up. 
“Then have fun,” you said. 
“Really? We can cancel?” 
The excitement in his voice caused an angry laugh. “Yeah. Bye.” And you hung up. 
And you made your cookies, and you watched the movies you already had on tape, and you didn’t miss the popcorn but you wished you had Steve’s lap to put your feet on - and it was fine. 
You were sure he was having fun. And maybe he didn’t care at all about your canceled plans - because he was too busy with people who didn’t like you, doing something more exciting than what the two of you did as kids. 
It was selfish to be angry. Maybe it was wrong. But you let it boil over anyway. 
… 
You didn’t talk to him for a week after that. Because you didn’t want to, and you wanted to teach him a lesson, and you hoped it would make him sorry. 
Maybe you were being immature, but at this point, you were committed. 
You were afraid that you were setting the wrong example - that, maybe, he thought you were angry about him making his own plans, when the problem was how he’d canceled yours so last minute. Or perhaps it was both. But now you had dragged it out too long and you were stuck giving Steve the cold shoulder until he finally caved in and apologized. 
That’s all you wanted, really: an apology. And a bribe or two, just to get the most out of this argument. That’s how things usually went: you give him the silent treatment and he shows up at your door with your favorite snacks and a new book, and things would go back to normal. 
But not this time. 
You’d managed to bike to school without being caught by Steve all week, but you’d underestimated him waiting for you at the bike racks at the end of the day on Thursday. 
He stood with his arms crossed and his brows drawn together. The moment you saw him you stopped in your tracks, like if you stayed still he wouldn’t see you, but his gaze was locked on. It didn’t look kind. 
So you prepared yourself for this fight. 
“What are you doing?” he asked, but his tone said something different - it said, I’m sick of your shit. 
“What are you doing?” 
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Just wondering how long you’re going to keep dragging this out.” 
You kept darting around his words and moved to get your bike as if he’d let you leave so easily. “I’m not dragging anything out. Don’t know what you mean.” 
His arms flung out to his sides as his voice raised, “You’re acting like a fucking kid!”
And your volume matched his, “You hurt my feelings!” 
“Well - grow up!” 
The short silence that followed felt heavy, but he didn’t let it sit for long. 
“I mean - come on - I ditch you one time and all of a sudden we’re not friends anymore? Really?” 
“A sorry would be nice, Steve.” 
“I’ve said sorry.” Both of you knew that he hadn’t, but it didn’t matter now. “But sorry isn’t enough, is it? You’re just mad that I have new friends. Because I don’t want to just - sit around and fucking - watch movies in your living room like we’re kids -” 
“Like we’re kids,” you said, laughing. “Yeah - right, because that’s really what this is about, isn’t it, Steve?” 
He looked confused, and you didn’t give him the chance to speak. 
“Because I’m holding you back. Right? Tommy H said it so it must be true. I’m a bitch and I’m keeping you down and you need to shake me off if you ever want to get any action - that’s what it is. Just say it, Steve.” 
“Where is this coming from?” He ran a hand through his hair and his voice sounded desperate, but you weren’t sure what for. Maybe to salvage the remnants of a wounded friendship, to turn this conversation around. But your anger wouldn’t let him. 
“You know where it’s coming from. I heard it, Steve, and you - you agreed with him! I’m your best friend but you can’t even defend me to your shitty fucking friends - so just say it! You’re the one who doesn’t want me around -” 
“That’s not what happened -” 
You were so angry, and he was lying, and Steve never lied to you, and he’d filled you with so much venom that you couldn’t help spitting it out as you stepped closer to him. “It is. And you’re turning it on me when you’re the shitty friend. Stop lying to me and just say it.” 
“Yeah, maybe that is what it is - and I was just too fucking stupid to see it before now. That you’re so fucking clingy I can’t even have one night with a girl without you getting jealous. He was right. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 
“Yeah, it was,” and you pulled your bike free and your foot hit the kickstand so hard that it hurt, and you told yourself the pain was the reason tears were flooding your eyes. 
“Maybe I’m better off without you - have you ever thought about that? Is that your fucking problem?”
“Whatever! I don’t care anymore! You never have to watch another fucking movie with me again, alright? We won’t go to the arcade or build stupid fucking blanket forts or any of the other childish shit you hate so much!”
“Good - fucking - good!” 
“And I hope you have fun playing King, and I hope when all your friends turn on you and Nancy dumps your ass - because you’re an asshole - that I’m the last person you run to for help, and I hope your dad is real fucking proud of you, because you’re turning out to be just fucking like him.” 
It all fell out like you were pushing rocks off of a cliff - fast and angry and hard. You knew what those words would do to him. You knew you were hurting his feelings more than he had ever hurt yours - that you were putting the knife in too deep to pull out. You knew and you said it anyway, because you were mad and he was being a dick and lashing out felt good. Especially when you could hop on your bike and ride away from him, fast enough to avoid watching the blood pooling at his feet. 
The worst part is that you were being honest. 
Steve stood there alone and didn’t even turn to watch you ride away. He felt like hitting something, or screaming until his lungs were empty and tired. 
And he didn’t even have time for any of this. He was finally making decisions for himself, for once, and who were you to get mad at him for that? He was popular, he had a girlfriend who was actually into him, his parents had finally gotten off his back. Things were going fantastic for him and he wasn’t going to let you mess it up because you were… jealous, or selfish, or whatever it was - Steve didn’t care. 
He wasn’t going to lose sleep over you refusing to grow up and give him space. He was on top of the world, and you were trying to tear him down. 
He didn’t need you, anyway. 
… 
Months passed.
And, like you had put a hex on him, all of your words came true - and then some. It didn’t take very long for things to crumble around him, and Steve almost thought it was funny how quickly his wings had melted to send him hurling into the ground. 
No matter how hard he tried patching the holes, everyone knows you can’t fly with wings made of wax.
The fall hurt. But it was what came after that brought the real pain - a stinging, striking ache that was impossible to ignore. It felt like he was the last person on earth and he deserved it; like he shouldn’t be allowed to be around other people because he was no good.
And every time he tried putting the pieces back together, things only got more broken - all starting at Jonathan Byers’ front door. 
What could get worse than fighting a monster from an alternate dimension? 
Or fucking things up with your girlfriend beyond repair? 
Or fighting those monsters again? 
He learned quickly to stop asking stupid questions like those. 
And he learned that he couldn’t just close his eyes and wish it away. He couldn’t run when things got scary; he couldn’t lash out when someone was honest with him; he couldn’t sneak out of his window and into yours when the yelling got too loud. He was forced to face everything he ever hid from, cursed to have regrets and keep them. 
At least he wasn’t completely alone - the company of nerdy kid genius Dustin Henderson brought most of these lessons on. And in a normal situation Steve wouldn’t recommend learning anything from a kid in junior high, but he was living anything but a normal life. He’d take friends wherever he could get them, especially during senior year. 
Maybe he wanted to set a good example for the kids that suddenly came into his life. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn’t his father - that he could do good things without getting something out of it. Or maybe, most likely, he just did it. 
He wanted to feel like a superhero, wanted to look in the mirror and feel proud of what stared back at him. But he didn’t, because he wasn’t. He wasn’t brave or heroic or gallant - he was no Clark Kent. And everything he did was because he had to. Because who else would? 
Sometimes he felt like only someone as careless as him would fight a man-eating creature with nothing but a baseball bat - because out of everyone he knew, he had the least to lose. Why bother making safe decisions when most days he didn’t even want to get out of bed? What was he risking when he’d already bet it all and lost? 
And who would be proud of that?
But there were moments, in the time between the fall and the fight, that he could almost see it. Like a flicker of light passing by he’d see Max smiling at him, hear Dustin’s excited laughter, feel a heavy high five from Lucas and he’d think - oh. Right there, standing in front of him, were the people he had to lose. The ones he was trying to win for. 
And then he’d lay in bed at night and get stuck in another sleepless round of self loathing; hatred fueled by every cruel word he’d spit and all the selfish acts he’d taken, and fuck, he was spinning and suffocating and screaming, and maybe he deserved this. 
It didn’t matter that he knew how to swing a fucking bat good enough to win more time for the ones he loved, because he wouldn’t love them right, anyway. And he’d turned the best person he’d ever known into nothing more than a crumpled piece of paper on his floor - something to be tossed aside and forgotten. And even if he tried smoothing it out, those creases would always be there. 
Sometimes he stared out his window and watched yours. Waited for your light to turn off so he could look away and stop wondering what you were doing and how your life was without him in it. 
All he wanted was to see you again. He’d beg for that movie night he ditched on junior year. He wanted to grab you by your shoulders and show you that he’s better now, he’s changed, those last words you told him weren’t applicable anymore and everything can just go back to how it was. 
But nothing was ever that easy, was it?
He was glad when graduation finally came around, until he was forced into a sailor’s uniform with an ice cream scoop on his belt like a gun in a holster. 
It was one way to spend the summer. It got him out of the house he hated staying in, and put a little money in his pocket, so slinging ice cream at Scoop’s Ahoy was good enough for him. 
It distracted him from the vague nightmares he kept having and the fact that he got into a total of zero universities, and the free ice cream counted as dinner on his bad days. And he was fine with his obnoxious co-worker and annoying customers. 
He was just fine. 
But it was Hawkins. Nothing could stay fine there - not after a little girl with super powers opened a portal to an alternate fucking dimension and turned the town into a magnet for every fucked up thing imaginable. 
Steve thought it was over, and then Dustin had him and Robin translating the Russian words he heard over his radio, and they were all pulled back in. 
He wasn’t expecting to fall into the Russian lair under Starcourt Mall, to trauma bond with Robin - of all people - or to get any closer to dying than he already had, but he stopped betting on his expectations a long time ago. 
By the time he saw the night sky again, he couldn’t remember how many punches he’d been thrown.
His head throbbed to the beat of his heart. It felt like if he tapped his temple, his eye would pop right out. His work uniform was ruined, stained with blood and spit, but the smoke billowing from Starcourt ensured that he wouldn't be needing it anymore. 
The events of the night felt like they were years away. All he remembered was running, screaming, crying; he remembered the fist coming toward his face but not the impact. He woke up to pain, and then it was gone - more running and bleeding and fighting and then, it was over. 
Robin sat next to him, shivering, on the back of an ambulance. The lights from the siren were blinding, the noise around him was punching his ear drums. 
“Are we alive?” Robin asked. Her voice was totally shot. 
“Think so.” 
“I want to lay down so bad.” 
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Do you have someone to call?” 
She sighed deep. “Not really.” She let it be quiet for only a second, then said, “I don’t really want to go home. To be honest.” 
“You wanna spend the night here?” 
“If I don’t have to be alone, then, yeah.” 
He sighed, too, then patted her knee. 
He said, “I’ll call someone, alright?” and she nodded. 
The payphone was a bit of a walk, and he had to wait behind two people in line, but it was enough time for him to muster up the courage to make the call. Even still, when he had the phone in his hand, all he could do was stare at it. 
He was trying to remember the exact words you said to him the last time he spoke to you. Something like, “I hope I’m the last one you call,” he was sure. It was hard to remember your phrasing now, but the memory still stung all the same. 
And he knows it’s not fair to call you, but he was going to anyway. Because in all honesty, you were the only option he had. 
Any other time, he’d rely on Hopper for a ride. But Hopper wasn’t around anymore. 
So he dialed your number and prayed you hadn’t changed it from the one he knew by heart. 
-
Your hand darted out of your blanket to reach your bedside telephone. The ringing killed your half asleep ears, and you hardly knew what you were doing when you put the receiver to your ear. 
“Hello?” 
You could barely get the word out; your voice was thick with sleep that was slowly creeping over you. 
“Hey. It’s Steve.” 
With your heavy eyes shut, sleep was pulling you back in. Your whole body jumped a little bit when you attempted to stay awake. 
“Steve?” 
“Yeah. I’m sorry for waking you up, but -” 
You didn’t know what was going on, and then you heard sirens on the phone. A jolt of anxiety seared through you at the sound. That’s what got you to wake up - then you realized who you were talking to. 
“Steve?”
“...Yeah.” 
“What - what’s wrong?” 
Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you sat up in bed, holding yourself up with one shaky arm. 
“I’m sorry,” he said, and you held your breath until he answered your question. “There was an, uh - accident at Starcourt, and - I don’t know who else to call. I’m sorry, I can’t drive right now and I don’t have anybody else.” 
“Are you okay?” 
“Barely.”
You didn’t give your answer a second thought. “I’ll be there in, like, five minutes, okay?” 
You could hear his breath of relief over the phone. “Okay. Thank you.” 
After stealing your mother’s car keys, you stuffed your bare feet into combat boots and ran to the car. Even though you still only had your learners permit, you absolutely floored it to the mall without a single thought in your mind. It was like you were on autopilot, simply doing what you were supposed to, because you were scared. 
You saw plumes of smoke before Starcourt ever came into view, and you swallowed through your dry throat because you knew something bad happened. 
You had to fight through crowds and cops before you were allowed to pass under the police tape to search for Steve, which wasn’t easy. Every face you saw wasn’t his and each second that passed dug a deeper pit in your stomach. 
The second-to-last ambulance in the lineup is where you found him, sitting next to a girl whose head was on his shoulder. 
And when you saw him… it wasn’t him. Your eyes glazed over him because he was hardly recognizable. 
You’d seen him beat up before. He’s had his fair share of fights at school; you wiped blood off his face and helped him nurse black eyes. But it was never like this. 
His left eye was swollen shut. Crimson stained from his eyebrow to his jawline. His skin was aggravated red, his clothes were blood rusted, his knuckles were ripped open. 
And still, somehow, his hair looked perfectly done. That sight alone made you want to laugh and cry at the same time, because of course he managed to keep its style untouched. It was so Steve. 
You ran to him; your legs carried you there on their own, shoelaces smacking against wet pavement. You weren’t thinking when you called out his name or when you flung your arms around his neck. You hugged him like it would heal him, like the scent of your perfume could cover the smoke he smelled of. 
It’d been almost a year since you’d talked to him, and the jagged edges of your ended friendship still cut deep, but you didn’t care. Not when he looked the way he did; not when he was hugging you so tight; not when your tears were dripping onto his skin. 
You pulled back and looked at him, and his wounds didn’t look any better up close. 
“Oh my god, Steve, are you okay? What the hell happened?” 
“I’m alright,” he said. He wouldn’t look at you, or couldn’t bring himself to. “I’m just glad you came. I’m sorry -” 
“Don’t,” you said, and then you looked around at the scene. “Have the paramedics even seen you? Why are you just sitting here?” 
“Yeah. Yeah, I - I’m fine. They said I’m fine. They’re all busy with others but - I’m fine, don’t worry.” 
That’s when you noticed the girl next to him, who was looking at you like you were crazy, and you realized what you were potentially barging in on. 
They sat close - too close to be friendly. They were basically cuddling when you first saw them. It was obvious what they were, so of course she was looking at you that way.  
You didn’t mean to make her jealous, but a part of you didn’t care. 
“Are both of you okay?” 
“Yeah,” Steve said, answering for the two of them.  The girl nodded. “This is Robin, by the way.” 
You introduced yourself to her, trying to be cordial even though you were meeting in the worst of situations. 
“You two can stay at my place tonight, if you want to,” you told them. Steve asked Robin if she was okay with that, and she said yes, and so you led them to your car. 
You weren’t sure why you made the offer to Steve - you wanted him with you, sure. After seeing the condition he was in, you wouldn’t sleep unless you knew you were keeping him safe and sound in your own bedroom. 
Old habits die hard.
But, all things considered, you should have just taken him to his own home, where he could be with Robin in peace. Without cut ties lingering in the air like flies. 
You drove him home anyway. 
Nobody spoke until you got to your bedroom. 
“Do you need a shower?” 
“Yeah,” Steve said. Robin nodded. 
“Okay. Robin, you can take my bathroom. Steve can shower downstairs.” 
You dug through bottom drawers to find clothes for each of them - you still had the ones Steve kept stored there, as embarrassing as it was, so it wasn’t a difficult task. And you’d let Robin choose from your pajama drawer.
And then you got back into bed, because you didn’t know what else to do for them. 
Robin stood in the doorway of your bathroom, just staring into the room. When Steve opened your bedroom door, she snapped her head back to him. 
“Steve?” 
“Yeah?” 
She glanced over at you. You wanted to hide from the tension in the room. 
“I - I don’t know how to use this faucet.” 
He showed her how, and then made for the exit, but she called for him again. 
“I was just thinking - you know - if we both shower at the same time, won’t the water pressure be super low? And what if the hot water runs out before I’m done, and -” 
“I’ll be quick, Robs,” he said. “It’ll be fine.” 
Steve took one step into the hallway before stopping. The darkness looked like it went on forever. He didn’t remember your house being so unlit, or having so many hiding places, and suddenly his legs were shaky. 
“...You’re probably right, though. I’ll just wait out here until you’re done.” 
“Yeah. And I’ll keep the door cracked open, for… all the steam.” 
“That’s a good idea.” 
And he sat on the floor right outside of the bathroom door. When Robin was finished, they swapped places. As if they couldn’t be apart for longer than twenty minutes. 
You didn’t ask them any questions.
… 
The two of them slept on a pallet of old blankets on your bedroom floor. Robin made Steve sleep closest to the door. He tried not to be upset about it. 
And he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep, but it seemed to swallow him. He didn’t dream, or toss and turn, but he woke up unrested. 
Everything still hurt just as bad as it did the night before. And Robin’s snoring was making his headache worse. 
You were no longer in bed, so he decided to get up and find you. 
He wasn’t sure what kind of interaction he’d be walking into when he found you in the kitchen, but he tried to keep his head high. 
“Good morning,” he said. 
“Hey.” You had a mug in your hand. “Your eye looks better.” 
“It doesn’t feel any better,” he said, and he wanted to make a joke that it actually looks worse - because when he closes his right eye, everything’s blurry - but he held that one in. He wasn’t ready for a comedic coping mechanism quite yet. 
You put Tylenol on the island that separated the two of you. “Take them. I don’t know if it’ll help much, but it can’t hurt.” 
The bottle said to take two, so he took three. And then the awkward quiet started washing in. 
Until, “I saw what happened on the news,” and Steve almost coughed up the water he was chugging. 
“What are they saying?” he asked, because he didn’t know what story he was supposed to be playing along with. 
“Just talking about the fire,” you said. Your voice sounded so dim, and Steve hated it. “It’s… crazy. Hopper… he…” You couldn’t say the word. 
“I know,” Steve said. 
“And thirty others.” 
His throat felt dry. “Thirty?” 
Truly, he didn’t know that many people hadn’t survived. And now, it all felt real. Really real. 
“Yeah,” you replied. “I’m just glad - you were lucky to get out, Steve.” 
You had no clue how lucky he’d really been. And hopefully you would never have to know. 
“I know.” 
You sat your mug down, brushed your hands on your chest like you were trying to wipe off everything you knew of the accident, then blew out a loud breath. 
“Let’s just think about something else.” 
Almost at the same time as you, he spoke. “Thank you.” 
“...What for?” 
“For coming to my rescue,” he said, huffing a laugh. “I know that I… didn’t really deserve it.” 
“Don’t thank me, Steve.” 
“Seriously. You could’ve just told me to walk home, but you didn’t.” 
“I’m just being a good friend,” you said, then shrugged. “I hope you would do it for me.” 
“In a heartbeat.” 
He wondered if this was his chance to say sorry. 
Or if there was even a point in it. 
He was afraid you’d do no more than laugh in his face, and even if he deserved it he didn’t want to succumb to it. 
But he had to. Because he almost died last night. And he could be fighting those monsters again, any day now. Was he going to lose this chance? Or is he going to die without saying another word to you? 
He stared down at his ripped knuckles. The wounds still looked fresh. They stung just from touching the open air. 
He stared, and stared, and stared, and - he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say a word. He couldn’t face it. 
Your footsteps toward him made him jump back. 
You were holding a box of band-aids. 
You held out your hand, asking for his without words, and he offered both of them to you. First his right, then his left, were covered in pink, green, and yellow band-aids by you. 
It was gentle and kind, the way you went about it. Like you would hurt him even more if you weren’t careful. 
He still had dried blood under his nails and splinters in his palms. He watched your clean hands holding his beaten up ones and he felt bad, because your skin was too soft to bother with the cuts and calluses on his. 
But you held them anyway. 
He put his fingers through yours and you didn’t stop him. He wanted to cry.
“I’m just glad you're alright.” 
He didn’t know what to say - there wasn’t anything to say, he guessed. Nothing to make it better or change anything. 
All he could do was squeeze your hand and watch you wipe tears off your cheeks. 
Until he noticed a cut on the back of your hand. He pulled it closer so he could get a better look. 
“What happened?” 
“I dropped a knife while I was cooking last night. It’s fine.” 
It looked fine, but Steve wanted to repay your favor, so he pulled a band-aid from the near empty box and put it on your wound. 
“We match,” he said. 
You laughed. “We’re even now.” 
He felt overwhelmed with melancholy. He needed to rest, he wanted to close his eyes and not open them for weeks. 
“I should go check on Robin,” he said as he walked backwards toward the stairs. He kept his eyes to the ground, away from the look on your face. “She’ll flip if she wakes up and she’s alone.” 
You said nothing. 
… 
The following days and weeks were a lot of checking on Robin, and Robin checking on him. Too much waking up in the middle of the night and keeping his eyes glued to his bedroom door just in case. Only feeling safe enough if he had a baseball bat hugged to his chest and Robin snoring next to him. 
So - he wasn’t doing well, but it was fine. He tried not to complain about it. Robin was the only person he let himself be half honest with - but he kept the truth to himself, because she’d get anxious if he said what he really felt. 
Steve was scared. And he didn’t want anyone else to know it, because all of the others acted as if their lives were perfectly back to normal. They were doing well. So he had to be doing well, too. For their sake. 
Weeks after that awful night at the mall, he and Robin conned their way into getting jobs at Family Video. He was grateful, because god, he was too codependent on her. 
It was a random night at his place when Robin brought you up out of nowhere. 
“I just realized, I never thanked your neighbor for saving us that night.” 
“You don’t need to. I’m sure she knows you’re thankful.” 
“Yeah, but, I feel like I should pay her back.” 
Steve shrugged at her words. He didn’t want to think about you more than he had to - it hurt just a little bit too much. 
���Should I give her a gift?” 
“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “She likes cookies. Get her cookies.” 
And Steve didn’t know it, but the next day, Robin rang your doorbell with a plastic box of cookies in her hands. You opened the door and she started rambling from the get. 
“Hey - Steve said you like cookies, so, I decided I’d bring you some to thank you. For showing up at Starcourt in the middle of the night and practically saving our lives. And for letting us sleep on your floor. That was really nice of you.” 
You didn’t know what to say. Robin seemed weird. You just went along with it. 
“Oh - thanks. That’s cool. Thanks.” 
She shoved them toward you, and you took them. 
“Do you want to come in?” you asked.
Instead of answering, she just stepped through the door. You brought her to the kitchen. 
“I hope they’re good. I just got them at the corner store. But all cookies are the same, right?” 
“Well - no, but, it’s the thought that counts.” 
“Oh.” 
The gifted cookies didn’t look much better than the worst recipes you’d made,  but you opened the crude packaging and gave them a chance. 
They were fine. Maybe a little worse than fine. You gave Robin one, anyway. 
“They’re good!” she said, with a mouth full. 
“They are,” you lied. “They’re not homemade, but they’ll do. Thanks, Robin.” 
You ate half of your cookie. Robin finished hers. It was quiet. 
You figured you might as well try to get to know this girl a bit better. At least be polite and make small talk, just to be nice. 
So you asked an easy question. “How long have you and Steve been together?” 
But it wasn’t as simple as you thought, because she started coughing up the cookie. “What do you mean?” 
“...What?” 
“We’re not together,” she said with a heavy dose of sass. “God, I’ll never get over people asking me that. I am not dating Steve Harrington. Gross.” 
“Oh - sorry, I just thought -” 
“It’s fine,” she said. “Everyone always asks. I guess a guy and a girl can’t be friends without everyone making assumptions.” 
You laughed. “Yeah. People used to do the same thing to us. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask a weird question.” 
“It’s alright. Actually, I’m supposed to be at his place in, like - well, ten minutes ago. You should come over if you're free.” 
“Uh - I don’t know, me and Steve - we don’t really hang out anymore.” 
You aren’t sure why you didn’t just make up an excuse. Something about Robin made you feel okay about being honest. 
“It’s cool. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. It’s kind of been just us since what happened with - the fire. The fire that happened. So - you know. It’d be nice to have someone else around. If you want.” 
You were curious how this would turn out. So, “sure. I’ll come.” 
“Great. You should bring a cookie for Steve.” 
You brought the whole box, and decided you would accidentally forget them at his place so they wouldn’t go to waste. 
Steve’s front door was yanked open from the inside before Robin could let herself in, and his wide eyes became a little less wide when he saw her. 
“Where the fuck were you - you were supposed to be here half an hour ago, I thought you got fucking eaten or something.” 
“Relax. I was just making a cookie delivery next door. Chill.” 
Robin threw her thumb over her shoulder. You poked your head out from behind her and gave Steve a weak wave.
“Oh.” 
“What exactly would she get eaten by?” 
“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. You noticed he was gripping his car keys in a tight, scarred fist. 
“Monsters,” Robin joked. Steve didn’t laugh. You did a little bit. “I invited her over. Is that alright?” 
“Yeah. Of course.” 
You stuck to Robin all the way to his living room, because that was easier than making yourself comfortable. You hadn’t been in this house in ages, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself. 
“Where’s my crossword?” 
“I finished it.” 
“Asshole. You know I hate that. Just get your own.” 
“Whatever, you suck at them, anyway.” 
Robin, unlike you, had no reservations in the Harrington house. She kicked her feet up and started channel surfing as soon as she sat on the couch. 
“Have a cookie,” Robin said to Steve. You reached the box out to him; he sat down next to you to take one, taking up the spot between you and Robin.  
It was weird being so close to him again. His knee was touching yours, and it made your skin feel too hot. Still, you didn’t move away. 
“These are shit,” he said with a full mouth. 
“Hey!” 
You laughed loud, because you completely agreed. 
“No, seriously, these are awful.” 
“I spent five dollars on those!” 
You gasped. “Five? Robin.” 
“You should have just given her the money instead. Or thrown it in the trash.” Steve dropped his half eaten cookie back in the box. You put the plastic lid back on and sat it on the coffee table. 
“I thought they were good. You’re being so rude right now. They were a gift.” 
Steve looked at you. “You didn’t tell her how bad they are?” 
“I didn’t - I don’t think they’re that bad.” 
“You’re lying,” Steve laughed, then he turned to Robin. “She’s lying.” 
“I’m not lying!” 
“I know you, and I know you’re lying.” 
“It’s fine, guys, you don’t have to spare my feelings or anything.” 
You sighed, defeated. “...They are pretty terrible.” 
Robin scoffed loud and obnoxious. 
“Whatever. I’ll enjoy them.” 
… 
As it turns out, Robin acted like glue between you and Steve. Neither of you would have ever made an effort to see each other again, out of embarrassment or guilt or both, but Robin didn’t have to unpack any of that baggage. She didn’t even know it existed. 
Instead, she immediately saw you as a friend. And she brought you in like she had known you forever. 
But Robin and Steve were a package deal. So, if you were a friend to her, you had to be a friend to him, too.
And the two of them were weird. Most of the time, they left you feeling like a third wheel on their friendship. 
They could be mean to each other. Rough. They acted the exact way you knew siblings do, but that was only surface level. There was something deeper - more than anything a brother and sister had, because it wasn’t the blood in their veins that connected them. It was the roots they chose to grow into each other that kept them together. 
Robin spent the night with Steve more often than she didn’t. And she bullied him for his bad cooking, and he told her when an outfit was ugly, and they stood next to each other like two puzzle pieces that didn’t match but fit together with a hard press. 
Sometimes you sat on the sidelines and ached, mourning a friendship that had been buried some odd years ago. It was well beyond rotten - something decayed and unrecognizable now. Even if you dug it up, it couldn’t be the same as it was. 
But you wished. 
And as you sat and listened to Robin chastise Steve for saying something dumb - watched as he meddled her hair into a purposeful mess, you could only laugh and sink into yourself. You were happy and sad; you cherished your time together and dreaded it, all at the same time. 
Above it all, Steve was different. Distant in the way he would never meet your eyes, or laugh too loud at your jokes, or sit too close for too long. 
It all felt fleeting. Like that week you spent angry at him - stuck in a weird limbo, between friends and strangers, a frustrating purgatory. Some kind of Schrodinger’s Cat of a friendship - alive and dead at the same time. 
You would have just said something, if it felt like you could. But if Steve minded, he didn’t show it. If he missed how things were, he didn’t act like it. And, as you knew him, if he wanted to he would. 
And it wasn’t totally bad. It was just new. You’d get used to it with a spoonful of sugar and a hard swallow. 
On a random day, you had mentioned off-hand that you had been meaning to visit your aunt’s apartment to drop off and pick up a few things. Steve offered to take you, and you agreed, and the next day, you made good on your plans. 
The two of you didn’t hang out without Robin very often. Since early August, the number was hardly a handful. But with the radio turned on, it wasn’t too awkward. 
Steve had visited your aunt with you several times growing up. He went to her house-warming party when she moved into her apartment. You were thirteen, and you made a game of pressing every button in the elevator before getting off it. Now, every time you’re there, you think about how you used to chase him down the halls. 
Her place was the nicest there was in Hawkins, in the tallest residential building in town. Parking was a nightmare, but Steve kept his complaints under his breath, and he even carried your bag for you. 
The elevator was the only thing in the apartment’s lobby. As you pressed the button, Steve spoke up. 
“You wanna take the stairs instead?” 
“Why?” 
He shrugged. You laughed. 
“You want to climb eight flights of stairs? No thanks.” 
“I’m an athlete,” he mumbled under his breath, sheepish. “This thing is taking forever, anyways.” 
It dinged as it finally started moving down toward the bottom floor.
“It’s on its way.” 
He stepped back, looked around, and he must have spotted the stairwell. “I’ll race you,” and then he took off. 
The elevator door opened as the stairway’s door closed, and you rode to the top floor alone. 
He didn’t win the race - far from it, and you laughed as he tried to hide his struggling breathing. 
“Been waiting for you all day, athlete. Thought you’d take ‘til Christmas.” 
“Psh. Whatever. I’ll win on the way down.”
The elevator creaked and hummed as it started moving down, and Steve glared at it. 
You laughed, “You’re weird,” and you left him behind to walk down the hall. 
He worked fast to catch up, and called out, “The loser pays for dinner!” 
“You know I’d never pass up that bet.” 
Your aunt wasn’t home - she rarely was. But a key was under the mat, and as you walked inside her tuxedo cat, Webster, greeted you at the door. 
“Hey, dude,” Steve said, kneeling down to pet him. 
An old cardboard box sat on the dining table nearby, “Glassware” written on the side in crude permanent marker. It’s what you had been instructed to pick up and take back home - you weren’t sure what was inside.
You sat down and opened it and pulled out the first thing you saw: a white paper bag, one you knew printed photos came in. 
“This what you came for?” 
Steve stood next to you. He had Webster in his arms, who was purring loud and melting into his hand. 
“Yeah.” 
“What is it?” 
“I don’t know. Family stuff, I’m guessing.” You pulled out a fat stack of pictures and the one on top made you bark a laugh. “Oh my god.” 
You and Steve, seven years old, wearing matching cowboy costumes for Halloween - you with a white cowboy hat, him with a black one. You stood with a jack-o-lantern between you. You had your hands on your hips and a frown on your face; Steve had his chin pushed out in a wicked scowl. 
You turned it to him, and he laughed just as loud as you. “Look at those two mean mugs!” 
“Do you remember this?” 
He sat in the chair next to you, continuing to look at the photo over your shoulder. Webster made himself comfortable in his lap. 
“Yeah,” he laughed, “We fought all night because you stole my -”
“Oh my god.”
“You stole my full size Snickers.”
“I did not!” 
“You did.” 
“I didn’t!” 
The way he looked at you told you this was still a sore subject. 
“You went ahead of me to the Smith’s place while I was trying to tie my shoe and you took her last bar. That’s what happened!” 
“That’s not stealing!” 
“It is!”
“I didn’t mean to leave you behind! It’s not my fault you didn’t know how to tie your shoes!” 
“You didn’t, either. And, I learned before you.” 
You puffed a sigh and flipped the photo to the back of the stack. “Why are you still fighting over this? We shared all the candy, anyway.” 
���It’s the principle. Theft is a crime, and you never apologized.” 
You only laughed. No way were you giving him that apology now. 
When you pulled the photos out of the box, you didn’t intend on looking through them all, but your curiosity kept you flicking through them. Most were of random family members or photos of the beach, but pictures of you and Steve were littered throughout the stack. There wasn’t a single photo of you that didn’t have him in it, too.
There were from some first days of school, birthday parties, sleepovers. They were sorted somewhat chronologically - looking through them was pure nostalgia, memories hitting you at every angle as you watched yourself grow up. 
The next one to catch your eye was from a middle school dance. Neither of you wanted to attend, but your mother insisted. Your one condition was that you could wear whatever you wanted. 
So you and Steve had swapped styles. You wore his way oversized Atlanta Flames jersey, a baseball cap, and sneakers that didn’t fit; he had on your purple sweater, a big pearl necklace, and white jeans. 
It was cute, and it was goofy, and you wished you could jump into the picture and relive it. 
At that age, the only thing you knew was that you and Steve would live forever, together. Now that you know what you know, your heart ached for the little girl in these pictures. What would she think about the space between you two now? 
There were pictures from summer camp, swimming pools, and your first day of high school. 
Webster meowed. Steve meowed back at him. 
As you got to the bottom of the stack, pictures of the two of you were less and less. The last one - the one you didn’t know would be your last picture with him - was of you, him, and a few of your extended family members. A day spent at the lake that Steve really didn’t want to go to, for some reason only an angsty teenage boy could understand, that you dragged him to. It was the summer before your junior year.
In the photo, his arm was draped completely over your shoulder. You remembered him leaning all of his weight on you - to the point that you fell out of your seat after the picture was taken by your aunt.
And you had fun, like you always did. Steve became a member of your family out of happenstance. It was just because he was always around, really. They all saw him as much as they saw you. 
You put that photo to the back of the stack and kept carding through them. You didn’t find any more pictures of you and Steve. 
The rest were all more recent. Steve stopped you on one that was of you alone - sat at a dinner table, wearing a cable knit sweater. 
“That’s a good one,” he said. 
“Yeah. It’s from Christmas. Senior year, maybe.” 
You acted like you weren’t sure, but you knew exactly when that photo was taken. You just didn’t want him to know how sad you were in it. 
“Oh, yeah?” 
“Yeah,” and you laughed, “this was not a fun party.” He didn’t reply, and so you kept talking, sparing him a shy glance. “Everyone kept asking where you were.” 
The silence was heavier this time. 
“Oh,” he said, trying to bury it. “Yeah.” An awkward chuckle. “I bet that was annoying.” 
You laughed and tried to make it sound real - tried to seem like you didn’t care. “Yeah, well, you know how my family always liked you better.” 
He shrugged, looking like he was going to make a joke, but he didn’t. His eyes were distant as they moved down to his lap. 
You shoved the picture to the back with the rest. 
The one behind it was just as lonely. 
Still, Steve perked up at it. “Is that from graduation?” 
You wore a cap and gown, you held a bouquet of flowers, and you stood all alone. 
“Yeah.” 
Steve’s hand wrapped around yours holding the picture, and he tilted it toward him so he could get a better look. 
“My aunt kept trying to get me to find you for a picture,” you laughed. 
“You should’ve.” He smiled something big and real, and you realized with a rush that this is the closest you’d been to him in a while. If you kept looking, you could count the freckles on his cheek. His thumb pressed into the back of your hand. “I remember seeing you. You looked real cute.” 
You ignored his compliment to say something snide. “I ignored you so hard.” 
Another laugh, “Really?” 
“Obviously.” 
“Yeah. That’s fair - I would’ve, too.” 
You tried not to think about how badly you wished he was standing next to you in the picture. 
Steve spoke up, “I -” but you cut him off by accident. 
“It’s fine.” 
You didn’t mean it. He could tell.
“...Is it?” 
It was honest when you replied, “I don’t know.” 
He was still holding your hand. 
“I never told you I’m sorry.” 
“I guess I just figured you were.” 
You dropped the pictures on the table, dropping his hand with them.
“Is that good enough?” It was an honest question. 
“I don’t know. Maybe it is.” 
And your answer was genuine, because you didn’t know. Steve had come back into your life just as easily as he left it - on a whim, without any warning. You didn’t put any roadblocks in his way. 
But you stared at the photos spread out in front of you. At the story they told of your friendship that would always be unfinished. 
You had to teach yourself how to do life without him. All of those lessons seemed useless, now, because here he was. And you didn’t even know if he ever missed you. 
You pulled away from him, a move that was far more snappy than you meant. You did it like he’d reached out and burned you. It had Webster jumping down to the floor. 
“It’s fine,” you repeated. 
“I think you’re lying just to make me feel better.” 
“I don’t know why I’m lying.” 
“We don’t have to talk about it now,” he mumbled, and you stood up. The chair scraped the floor in a way that grated your ears. You turned your back to him. 
“I thought I knew you.” Your eyes welled up, your nose started to run. You balled your hands up like you were on defense. “I thought you would say sorry, and make everything go back to normal like you always did. But you didn’t. I thought you would miss me, at least, but - but you didn’t.” 
“You think I didn’t miss you?” 
The shake in his voice had your fist dropping to hit your thighs, defeated. 
“I miss you more than anything. I’m sorry - I’m not just saying it to make you feel better, or because I have to, I - I don’t even deserve to be saying it.” He paused, and you could imagine the way he was running his hands through his hair and pacing around with nerves. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend. For not treating you like you deserved - I hate myself for it. You were the best thing in my life, and I know that now. I was just too scared to come crawling back to you because I wasn’t worth your time.”
You breathed in deep, exhaled hard, and it felt like the first breath you had taken in two years. It was that feeling when you’ve forgotten your keys but find the door unlocked - the relief of being let in despite a mistake, it rushed through you, and it had you turning to look at him. You found him standing and staring at you, through you, with glassy eyes you would always know. 
“I just miss you, Steve.” 
Three steps and then he was around you. And you were safer than a child hiding under their blanket from whatever lurked in their closet - monsters weren’t real if his arms were around you. That had always, always been true. 
Webster rubbed up against your leg, then Steve’s. The hug shook with both of your laughter, and he held you tighter. 
… 
Things didn’t go back to how they used to be after that, but it was close enough. And you were trying to settle into the differences that kept knocking you off your feet. 
It started with late night phone calls. 
Before, you never talked on the phone. Why would you when his house was a stone throw away? If you wanted to talk, you’d invite yourself to his place. 
But the two of you were still dancing on the ripped edges of that two year old fight. Wounds were still healing - almost there, but not quite. So it was easier to take it slow, to treat this time as something brand new. 
And it was brand new. 
You had caught yourself grinning ear to ear over stories he’d tell you, and you had to force the smile off your face. Like you shouldn’t be acting that way over your friend - you quickly realized you just couldn’t help it. 
He’d keep you up too late and tease you for it the next day. And you weren’t sure if he was trying to get a rise out of you, but that’s how you felt. He acted so smug after seeing your cheeks swell in embarrassment. 
So it wasn’t going back to how it was before. In fact, it was going down an entirely different road - one that wasn’t even on the map. 
You weren’t complaining, because you felt things you hadn't felt before around him. He made you feel warm, and you were addicted to it. You were addicted to him, and you had blind hope that the feeling was mutual. 
He’d spend his entire lunch break visiting you, even if your breaks didn’t line up. He’d follow you around the apparel section at Roses and you’d have all your attention on him, just the way he liked it. He made sure to see you every day.
You never thought he’d make you feel so shy, but it was an emotion you couldn’t get enough of. You hardly realized what you were spiraling into until you’d catch him looking at you with a blush on his cheeks, or until you had to stop yourself from thinking about him every night before bed. 
But there was something glaring, something major, something you couldn’t look at directly until it came up in conversation with Robin. 
Robin and Steve always had Sundays off, so the day was designated to be stolen by their other friends - who were all in junior high. 
When you asked why they were friends with junior high kids, Steve called himself their babysitter. Robin said she was their good influence. You avoided asking follow up questions. 
It was a lazy autumn day, one where the warmth of fallen leaves reflected in the air - something rare for early November. 
The youngest of the kids, Erica, loved putting on a nice outfit and going for a walk. Today it was yellow Chucks, a red silk and pleated maxi skirt, and a long sleeve button up with a rainbow of vertical stripes. (It would have been a tie dyed short sleeve, if Steve hadn’t told her it was too chilly for it.) She had stuck gems beside her eyes, the kind that come in the plastic packets and don’t stay on for long, and Robin packed yellow eyeshadow on her eyelids. 
She was downright cute, but if you told the eleven year old that she’d aim her sass at you and shoot to kill. She much preferred receiving a refined compliment, because, “I hear that all the time.” 
Today, you told her you loved the way she paired so many colors together. She grinned something beautiful and kicked her foot up behind her and agreed with you. 
Steve had once described her as a menace - you didn’t understand why. 
You walked with Robin a few feet behind Erica, Dustin, and Steve. Dustin had not stopped talking the whole time, except when Erica butted in. Steve had stolen the younger boy’s thinking cap hat and was wearing it backwards. 
“The last time I wore this coat, I found two phone numbers in the pocket.” Robin held up two fingers and gestured to the Letterman jacket she wore. It was Steve’s. “Can you believe that? I mean, what a douche. I wouldn’t even wear this if it wasn’t so warm.” 
You laughed. “Yeah, I believe it, actually. They were probably from some cheerleaders or something.”
“Yeah, well, he can’t get any numbers these days. He’s cursed to be forever lame as punishment for the jerk he was in high school.” Robin was smirking wicked and wide, like it was satisfying for her. 
“He’s lost all his charm?” 
“All of it. I mean, one hundred percent. I used to keep count of how many times he fell on his face in front of girls. It’s magnificent, truly.” Then, quieter, “He’ll get it back, though. One day.” 
“He used to have no trouble at all.” The conversation had the gears in your head turning; it had you speaking without thinking. “I don’t know. He’s really different now.” 
Robin laughed, like you were joking. “Yeah, he learned manners, for one.” 
“It’s not that.” You were thinking out loud. “He’s nicer, yeah, but… it’s almost like he’s not even the same person. I’m not sure what happened.” 
The Steve you knew was boisterous. He was unapologetic. He was stupidly confident, the life of the party, and he wasn’t afraid of anything. A wouldn’t take no for an answer, go with the flow, drop of the hat kind of person. 
You were lucky to know him when that’s all he was. Before the halls of Hawkins High swallowed him and spit out someone ornery who cared too much but not at all. 
You thought it was just Tommy and Carol’s influence. Now that he wasn’t their friend anymore, you thought he’d become who he used to be. 
“He told me how close you two were before,” Robin said. She was tugging on a strand of hair that was stuck in her lip gloss. “I guess I never knew him like you did.” 
“He’s so quiet now. He used to be so loud.” You meant it more than literally - you hoped Robin would understand. “I don’t know. So much changed and it’s only been a couple years.” 
It seemed like she was struggling to reply, because it took her more than a few seconds to get her words out. 
“I guess - I mean - I think you’ve probably changed a lot, too. Two years is a long time, right?” 
Robin knew. No one could tell, but she knew. 
Maybe the differences that you had described of Steve were really there. She wasn’t able to see them the way you could, but she didn’t care. It was selfish to admit that she would never change a thing about him - but one. 
He was waiting. 
Everyone was, she thinks. 
Waiting for another fight. 
It wasn’t easy to go back to normal after trudging through hell. It was like coming out the other side of trench warfare unharmed - you didn’t. When a gun fires, its bullets hit. If a bomb is dropped it doesn’t miss a fucking thing, and Starcourt Mall was goddamn ground zero. 
And Robin wasn’t there for the disappearance of Will Byers. The death of Barbra Holland. The Upside Down. The Demogorgon. The Demodogs, and the lab, and the girl with psychic powers. She wasn’t there, but Steve was. 
Her head hurt just thinking of the stories he’s told her. And she knew his did, too, more often than he’d admit to her.
And she felt bad when her sleeping patterns went back to normal but his didn’t. When she got used to being on edge all the time, Steve still jumped at any noise. His phone would ring and she would watch him prepare himself to answer it - to hear Dustin’s voice on the line telling him that it’s back. 
So when you said that Steve’s changed, Robin didn’t know what to tell you. You were right, and she knew that, but she couldn’t tell you why. You knew everything about him besides, well - everything. 
Robin wished she didn’t have to know, either. She wanted to tell you that you should be grateful you couldn’t see the shackles on his ankles. You got to know him before - and Robin would give anything for that. 
But she couldn’t change a thing. 
Instead, all she could do was wait. 
And lie. 
And pretend. 
“He’s still loud,” she said, uncomfortable as all get out. 
As if he heard her words, Steve busted out in a stomach hurting kind of laughter at one of Dustin’s stories. 
“See what I mean?” 
Your destination was in sight now. Steve turned around - letting Dustin steal his hat back - walking backwards, and reached a hand out to you. 
“You coming?” 
Your pace turned into a skipping sort of jog to catch up with him. When you were close enough he grabbed your hand and didn’t let go. He’d been doing that often. 
The kids and Robin broke away, heading for the tiny park that was up on your right. To your left, Steve tugged you to a tiny convenience store.
“Place your orders!” he called. 
Dustin and Erica shouted at the same time. Steve mumbled something about not being able to understand them, so you relayed their messages. 
“You’re getting two things! No more than that!” he shouted back. “Robin?”
“7-Up.”
“What else?” 
“Surprise me!” 
You hung onto his arm as you walked into the store, and you weren’t even sure why. He never pulled away when you got that close, so you kept going back. 
You went for the drink coolers first. He reached for the apple juice. 
“She likes orange juice the best, now,” you said. 
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” 
“You better be right - if she’s mad at me over this, I’ll be mad at you.” 
You rounded up all the snacks everyone wanted, following Steve’s only two items rule. You laughed when he chose plain potato chips as Robin’s surprise - the blandest possible choice. And while he checked out at the counter, you wandered off into the aisles. 
He acted like he didn’t want you to go, pulling you back and asking a quiet, “where’re you going?” 
“To look around.” 
It was straight to the candy aisle for a Blow Pop for Erica, Pop Rocks for Dustin, and sour gummy worms to share. You liked spoiling them - it helped to get on their good side. 
You made a stop at the candy bars to grab a Snickers bar before going back to the counter, and Steve immediately shook his head when he saw you. 
“What are you doing? What’s all that?” 
“It’s all for me.” You dropped it all for the clerk to scan. 
“All of it?” 
“Yeah.”
“Even though you said you didn’t want anything?” 
“I changed my mind!” 
He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, and you watched his hand move to his back pocket. 
“Don’t you dare.” 
His wallet was half way out of his pocket as he laughed. “What?” 
“You’re not paying. Stop.” You tried to sound mad, and felt you were doing a good job, but he kept giggling at you. 
“Oh, are you my boss now?” 
“Yes, Steve,” and you bumped into him, trying to push him away. “Don’t make me say your full name.” 
“Just let me -” 
“Take their things to them! Go!” 
You were shocked when he listened, but he only made it as far as the door. He stood against the glass with his arms crossed, staring at you until you finally followed him. 
“What are you looking at?” 
He pushed his back into the door to open it. “Trying to figure it out.” He reached for your hand, and you swatted it away, only for him to catch you, anyway. And you let him hold your hand, all the way across the street to the park. 
Your friends sat at a picnic table waiting patiently. It was actually two tables pushed together, doubling the normal length; Erica and Dustin sat opposite each other on one end, and Robin sat in the middle, crisscrossed on top of the table. 
Steve divvied snacks to grabby hands, and you snuck their surprise treats in to the sound of thank yous. 
You took your seat on the other end of the table across from Steve. When you sat down, he put a bottle of Coke between you. 
“Are you going to share?” you asked. 
“Only if you’ve got something to give me in return.” 
The Snickers bar made a thud on the wooden table. Steve hummed. “I guess that’s good enough.” 
You were almost happy with the trade until you realized, “No bottle opener?” 
His eyes doubled their size. “Shit.” Then, he grabbed the bottle. “No, it's a twist off.” The noise he made as he tried taking off the cap was something like a squeak, and everyone at the table laughed. 
“Just walk back to the store!” 
“Dustin - Dustin! Do you -” 
The boy slid a large key ring down the table. It was a wad of keys, keychains, and gadgets. 
“It’s on there somewhere.” 
There was a mini flashlight, a laser pointer, a plastic Q*bert charm, a pocket knife, keys and keys and keys, a kubaton, and, “Yes!” a bottle opener. 
“This is why I keep you around, Henderson.” 
“I’m the one keeping you guys around, first of all.” 
You grabbed the Coke and guzzled a couple drinks worth in one go, and when you put it back down, Steve had already eaten half the candy bar in one bite. 
“Steve!” 
His mouth was full when he said, “What?” 
“Why can’t you share? Why didn’t anyone ever teach you about sharing?” His laugh was sweeter than the chocolate he was shoving into your face. “Stop, I don’t wanna eat after you.” 
“We’ve got the same germs,” he said, and he was feeding you the Snickers before you could make another argument. 
The snacks were all gone much quicker than it took to walk and get them, because none of you would ever learn to savor the destination. Regardless, next Sunday, you’d all be sitting in the same spot - give or take a few others, creating a good day for yourselves. 
And, if you were lucky, Steve would be holding your hand the whole time. 
...
It didn’t matter who you were cheering for on the court, you hated high school basketball games. 
Going to Lucas’s game brought back far too many memories than you’d care to recollect. But even though you hated it, you were still filled with pride watching the boy play the game so well. 
And Steve hadn’t shut up about it all night. He spoke about Lucas shooting the buzzer beating winning basket like he was recounting a grand story - something from a movie or a comic book. Like you weren’t sitting beside him the entire time. 
You stood with him in his kitchen, and the excitement had finally started to settle. You and Steve had spent far too long talking about how weird it was to be back in the high school gym, and both of you agreed that you didn’t miss it at all. 
“Is Robin excited for spring break?” 
Steve rolled his eyes. “She said she’s spending the entire week here so she can be as lazy as she wants, so - I guess she is.” 
You threw a weak fist into his shoulder and he caught it. “What’s wrong with that?” 
“She’s gonna steal all my time!” His grin was contagious as he slotted his fingers into yours. “And that means I can’t steal all of yours.” 
“Does that mean I’m finally getting a break from you?” You laughed, but he didn’t. 
It was weird, the way his entire demeanor changed in a snap. Before you could even take back the joke you made he was shifting his eyes and dropping his grin. 
He had always worn his heart on his sleeve, even if he tried hiding it. 
“Are you alright?” 
“Yeah.” It was a hand through his hair that said the opposite, but you’d never call out his tells. “I just - that reminded me there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” He dropped your hand to cross his arms, and it had you feeling nervous.
“What about? …Did I do something wrong?” 
“No, honey.” You weren’t sure when that nickname came around, or when it started to stick, but it had a fairy fluttering its wings in your chest. He started to reach for you again, you could see it, but he stopped himself. “You could never do anything wrong.” 
You laughed quiet. “Neither could you.” 
You moved to stand next to him, mirroring the way his back leaned against the counter. Your arm pressed to his. He was looking at the floor; you were looking at him. 
“Are you sure?” It started as a whisper but jumped into a shake, a crack in his voice that said more than he wanted to. And he looked at you, to see if you caught it, and you swore his eyes were shining. He didn’t show them to you for longer than a moment. 
“Steve?”
“I just - I don’t want to fuck this up again.” 
“How would that even happen?” 
He looked at you like he knew something you didn’t. “I don’t know.” 
You nudged his arm with your elbow, again and again, until his crossed arms dropped. Your pointer finger snaked around his, and the touch brought enough bravery out of him to link his fingers with yours. 
“What do you know?”
He scoffed into a smile, one big enough to reach his eyes, and it brought him out of his funk. “I don’t know,” he said, moving closer to you as he made the joke. 
“That’s what I thought,” you replied. “Not a thought going on in your head.” 
Making him laugh was the key to his heart - you knew that, and it worked this time as well as it always had. 
He had his head turned, cheek to shoulder, staring down at you; you were so close, you could watch his eyes move across your face and know where he was looking. They wandered, but when his gaze lingered on your lips - you noticed. 
“I know one thing for sure,” he said.
When you took a loud breath, you’re sure he heard. He gave you eye contact again, and maybe you were seeing things, but you swore you saw question marks swimming in the green. 
He didn’t breathe. You didn’t blink. You moved forward just a hair, and he looked back down, so you pressed on. You wanted to be closer, as close as you could get - it was curiosity or desperation, you didn’t know. 
When he tilted his chin toward you, it was hardly noticeable. But you saw it, and it was enough. Your nose was just about to touch his - you watched his eyes close, right before yours did. There was nothing to do but move closer, closer, closer. 
And then, when you felt just the softest graze of his skin on yours - 
BAM! BAM! BAM!
You jumped back from each other like same-side magnets, gasping and jumping at the sound of loud knocks on the front door. 
He moved fast, like he was looking for a way out, leaving you alone in the kitchen. “Shit.”
Steve had a good idea of who he’d see when he opened the door. The knob was jingling when he unlocked it, then pulled it open. 
Sure enough, Robin. Wearing a flannel that was his, with wild bedhead that he couldn’t help laughing at. 
“Did you walk here?” 
“Yeah,” she croaked. “Let me in.” 
It was written all over her face why she was there, and Steve felt bad. 
Even though she asked to come in, she didn’t move. Her features were all scrunched up, her shoulders were hunched into her crossed arms. 
“Robin -” 
“I fucking hate this.” Loud, echoing into the night and through his door. “I hate it, Steve, and I swear - I swear it’s not over.” Her eyes wet her cheeks; she looked at him through tears. “It’s going to happen again. I can feel it. And I’m scared.” 
He had to pull her inside, because he knew she’d stand in the same spot all night if he didn’t. She pushed into him, shoving her face into his shoulder, wiping her tears on his shirt. 
“You just need to rest,” he told her.
She spoke something pitiful, not caring that her words were muffled. “The gate’s really closed, right? For sure?” 
“It’s over, Robin, it was just a nightmare - you just need some good sleep, alright?” 
She nodded, wiped her runny nose into her sleeve, and tried pulling her tears back in. 
“I wish I could sleep anywhere else.” 
“I know.” It wasn’t any sort of jab - it was just the truth. The only time she was truly afraid was when she slept alone. 
She hit a fist into his chest, something playful that made things feel a little more okay, and then took herself to the stairs. 
“I’ll be up in a minute to stand guard,” he joked. She barely laughed but it was enough, and he watched her until he couldn’t see her anymore. 
And he hoped you hadn’t heard anything, because he wouldn’t be able to answer any questions you had. When he found you in the kitchen you looked nothing but concerned. 
“Is she okay?” 
All you knew was that she had nightmares about the mall fire. It was a realistic excuse, in comparison to the unbelievable truth. 
“Yeah. You know how she is.” 
You nodded. Steve wasn’t sure how to go back to the talk you were having before, so he avoided it. 
You spoke first. “I hope she’s alright.”
“I should probably go be with her,” he said. 
You were perfectly okay with it, understanding as always. “Yeah. She needs you.” 
He walked you to the door, and it was too brief for his taste. But when you were there, he spoke up. 
“I’m sorry. Can we finish this tomorrow, maybe? I promise - I… I really did want to talk.” 
“Of course,” you said, and it was shy. “Don’t be sorry, Steve, she’s more important right now. We can talk any time.” 
His arms wrapped around your shoulders for a crushing hug. “I’ll call you in the morning, okay? Before work. We can make plans then.” 
And that was it - he watched you make your walk home until you walked into your front door, and that was it. 
The moment was ruined, and he might not be able to make it happen again. 
… 
Steve didn’t call you the next morning. 
-
-
-
part two!!!!
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melanieph321 ¡ 3 months ago
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Ruben Dias x Reader - Not Ready Part 6/12
Ruben is so funny in this chapter 😅😅
Part 7 and Part 8 are out on my Patreon!
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Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers' life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now, when his football career was reaching great new heights.
Enjoy!
Ruben woke up and mechanically reached for you across the mattress. When his hand couldn't locate your body, his eyes flung open, frowning at the sight of your empty side of the bed.
Ruben didn't need an alarm to wake up in the morning. Ruben was the alarm.
His mind and body were so in tune with his daily routine, the core to his way of life as a professional athlete. He moved like clock work on game day. Especially if the game was happening early in the afternoon like this Saturday.
"Erm...Morning."
Although Ruben had failed to complete the first part of his routine, which was greeting and kissing you, he continued to hop in the shower and get a cold one in before breakfast. Breakfast, that was meant to be a protein smoothie. However, something told him that you were all out of powder.
"Morning, Uncle Ruben. I'm making slime."
Ruben paused in the doorway, for the first time not sure what time of the day it was. "Emmy, it's very early. Shouldn't you be asleep?" He regarded the child in pajamas seated by the coffee table in his living room. Her hands were buried deep in a mixture of what he could only assume to be his protein powder and possibly his shaving cream. The smell of the mixture was that strong.
"Uncle Ruben?" Emmy said, in a way that always flared something within him. A fire Ruben thought would never be lit. At least not for another five to ten years from now.
"Yes, Emmy?"
"Did you know that your TV doesn't show any cartoons?"
"Not even on Netflix?" He watched her press his breakfast away with her hands. Making slime. Whatever that meant.
"Well, I obviously thought to check, but it's clear that you and Auntie Y/N have an adult Netflix account and not a kids one like my mom and dad used to have."
Ruben took note of how her eyes faltered at the mention of her parents. It was enough for Ruben to accept that the third part of his morning routine had also failed. Or at least had to be postponed. "I'll have a look at it later." He assured and made his way across the living room, towards the hallway. There his gym bag was packed and ready since the night before. He also found it guarded by the world's fiercest sausage dog.
"Morning Iker, tudo bem?"
His dog greeted him with excited wagging of his tail, licking Ruben's cheeks as he picked him up. "Okay, okay, enough of that, now." He put the dog down but was startled to have another set of puppy eyes staring up at him.
"Are you going somewhere, Uncle Ruben?"
Again, his heart stirred uncomfortably at the passion in Emmy's voice. The utter trust she had in Ruben as if he was indeed her real uncle terrified him. "I have a football game today, Em. Didn't Y/N tell you that?"
"Yes, but that was last Saturday." She picked at something underneath her nails, the majority of her sleeve covered in homemade slime.
"Well, in Premier League, there is a football game almost every weekend."
"My mom used to play football, did you know that?"
"I didn't." He smiled but sympathized with Emmy as her eyes lit up at the thought of a tail from her mother's childhood.
Life truly wasn't fair.
"She was really good." Emmy nodded. "Playing for Chelsea."
Welp, City is better. Ruben wanted to throw out. The bitter part of him, that still needed to have breakfast. "That's really cool, Em. Your mother was really cool."
Ruben grabbed his gym bag along with the house keys, shooting a glare towards the guestrooms. He still hadn't kissed you good morning. You left his bedside last night after Vale came knocking on your door....again. He didn't like the thought of waking up without you. It was really fucking up his daily routine. That and other things. Hopefully the kids would be in bed early tonight. Ruben would get you in the shower with him as soon as they were. The craving he had for your body was getting a bit primitive. You would refuse him these days. Hissing at him if he tried to squeeze your ass whenever the kids were distracted enough not to notice.
"Uncle Ruben?"
"Huh?" He looked down, surprised to find Emmy still standing there, gazing up at him as if determined to wave him off at the door.
"Do you think I'll be as good at playing football as my mother?"
Ruben recognized the yearning in Emmy's voice, the yearning to be close to her mother in any way, if it physically was impossible. "I know you will. Now give me a kiss." Although he wished it was you, Ruben settled with having Emmy push off her feet and peck his cheek.
"And Iker!" She gasped, grabbing the dog, raising him up in the air to receive his fair share of kisses from Ruben.
"I'll see you later, Em."
"See you later, Uncle Ruben, and good luck on your game."
Although irritated by the disruption of his morning routine, Ruben had clearly found a new one. A routine that he couldn't say that he loved, but he was starting to like. Perhaps being 'Uncle Ruben' wasn't that bad after all.
Read full chapter and more on my Patreon
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allthingsfangirl101 ¡ 1 year ago
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Not The Same Without You – Steve Harrington
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Being Steve Harrington's childhood best friend is not easy. You've got Tommy and Carol, Steve's team, and the rest of the school against you. Everyone thinks he's crazy for hanging out with me.
Something you should know about me - I'm your stereotypical bookworm. I never go to school without at least two books in my bag in case I finish the first one. I choose to spend my lunch period and free period in the library reading. I am on a first-name basis with the librarian at our school and at the library down the street from my house.
No one understood why Steve would hang out with someone like me. And if I was being honest, I didn't understand it either.
It made more sense when we got to high school. He stopped talking to me when we started freshman year. I didn't mind. I was starting not to like all the attention our friendship got. I got tired of the sneer comments, the scoffs, and the glares. We had this big talk the weekend before we started freshman year.
~•~
"Y/N?" Steve said, sounding strange. "Can we talk about something? Something that I'm pretty sure is going to make you hate me?"
"Nothing could make me hate you, Steve," I said honestly. "What's up?"
"Well," he said, clearing his throat, "we start high school on Monday."
"That's true," I said when he paused.
"And I'm on the basketball team," he continued slowly. "The team and all the practices and the games are going to take up a lot of my time."
"Steve?" I pushed. "What are you trying to say?"
"Maybe it's better if we don't hang out in high school," he blurted out. My heart jumped into my throat as I stared at him. I could barely see it, but there was a little bit of guilt in his eyes.
"Is that what you want?"
Steve opened and closed his mouth, struggling to answer me. I studied his eyes, trying to see if this was what he really wanted.
"Yes," he said, his voice dropping.
"Okay," I said as I stood up and started slipping on my shoes.
"Okay?" Steve stuttered. "You're really. . . You're okay with this?"
"Not really," I shrugged, not facing him. "But if it's what you want. . ."
I gasped when Steve grabbed my wrist and spun me toward him. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he whispered. "I just. . . I was. . . I thought. . . I'm sorry."
"I understand," I said, my voice dropping. "At least, I can pretend to."
~•~
When my parents found out that I was no longer hanging out with Steve, they tried to hide how relieved they were. My parents have never really liked Steve. They were always worried that his bad habits would rub off on me.
So, for the last three years, I've gone through high school alone - not that I minded. I was fine by myself. I've always been fine with it. Steve was the first person who tried to enter my life and I let him.
Six months into our senior year, my insomnia got really bad. AP exams were only a few weeks away and the stress made my insomnia worse. I slipped on a light jacket and headed downstairs. I walked out to our backyard and started walking along the path that went behind our house to a nearby park.
"You shouldn't be out here by yourself, Y/N," came a familiar voice. "It's dangerous."
"Steve?" I said, my eyes adjusting to the flashlight he had shining on me. "What are you doing here? It's 2 am."
"I knew you'd be up," he tried to say lightheartedly.
"And you walked all the way over here?"
"No," he said with a small laugh. "I drove to your house but saw you sneak out the back. Insomnia keeping you up?"
"Yeah," I said slowly. "It always does. That's nothing new."
"I know," he said. "Is there nothing you can do to help with it?"
"Steve, what are you doing here?" I asked instead of answering him.
"I used to come over like this all the time," he shrugged.
"True," I said, "but that was almost four years ago. We haven't talked since then. Be honest, Steve. What is going on?"
"Come with me."
"What? Steve, you can't be serious. It's two in the morning and. . ."
"Please," he cut me off. His tone made me freeze. "Y/N, I really need. . . I just. . . I need to get out of here and I want you to come with me. Just for a little while. Please, Y/N. Please come with me. I promise to get you home before your parents wake up."
"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice softening as I took a step closer to Steve.
I hadn't noticed that I was rubbing my arms until Steve took off his jacket and draped it over me. I held my breath as he started to pull his hands back. He hesitated for a second, like he was going to grab my hand, but decided against it at the last minute.
"Please, Y/N," he whispered. "I need you to come with me. I just. . . I need you."
One look at his eyes and I knew this was serious.
"Where to, Harrington?"
* * * * *
As we drove to only Steve knew where, he didn't say anything. The radio softly played as we drove through town. I kept glancing at him, wishing he'd say something.
After four years of silence, Steve randomly showing up outside my house at 2 in the morning was weird. Not to mention the fact that he was taking me somewhere and hadn't said anything since we got in the car.
"Steve," I whispered, "can you please tell me where we're going? I'm. . . I'm starting to get a little nervous."
"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I know this is strange but. . . I can't really explain it. I've been struggling lately and I was trying to figure out what to do. The only thing I could think of was you. I needed to see you, Y/N. I know you don't owe me anything but. . ."
"It's okay," I gently cut him off. "I just want to know where we're going."
Steve looked over at me and sent me the Harrington Smile that has all the girls in our school falling head over heels for him.
"Somewhere we haven't been in a long time."
It wasn't for another ten minutes that I realized where we were. When I figured it out, I glanced over at Steve. The butterflies in my stomach went crazy when I saw his smirk.
"I haven't been here since. . ." I couldn't remember the last time I was here.
There is a spot in this mountain called Makeout Point that all the teenagers know about. Steve and I found this spot on the other side of the mountain and it's always been our spot. Steve parked the car and we instantly walked over to the nearby picnic bench. We sat on the bench with our backs to the table.
I glanced over at him and, as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, I saw the weight pushing him down.
"Steve?" I whispered. "Please tell me what's going on."
He opened and closed his mouth, unable to admit it. When nothing came out, he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Y/N," he tried to start. "The thing is. . . I'm not sure why. . . It's hard to explain. . ."
I looked down to see Steve move his hands so they were now on the bench. Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached over and gently put my hand over his.
"Please, try," I said under my breath.
"I miss you," he rushed out. He looked up at me, surprise in his eyes.
"You. . ."
"I miss you, Y/N," he said, sounding more confident. "And I am so sorry. I'm sorry I left you and acted like I didn't know you once we started high school. I shouldn't have made you go through it alone. I should've been with you. I should've walked you to class on your first day and every day after. I should've sat with you in the library every lunch and free period. I should've been a better friend to you, Y/N, and I'm really sorry."
"Steve," I stuttered.
"I hate that I walked away from you," he continued. "I hate that I turned my back on you and never turned back. I wish, more than anything in the world, that I could do something to make it right. Can I? Can I fix what I did, Y/N? Can I fix this? Can I do something to make things go back to what they were before? Tell me how I can make it up to you. I'll do anything, Y/N."
"I don't know," I stuttered, my voice soft. "I mean. . . Senior year is almost over. And then who knows what we're going to do after but. . ."
Steve leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. Neither one of us deepened the kiss, but neither one of us broke it either. When we finally broke the kiss, my head was swimming. Steve was smiling softly at me.
"The past couple of years without you," he whispered, his face inches away from mine, "have been the worst years of my life. Every day, I wake up wishing I hadn't suggested we stop hanging out. Every day, I sit in class and try to figure out what I could say or do to fix what I screwed up. I can't live without you, Y/N. The truth is, I don't want to live without you. Not another day."
As he was talking, Steve scooted closer to me. When he finished, he reached up and gently cupped my cheek in his hand and pulled me closer.
"Not another day," he repeated as he pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was deeper than our first. When we broke this one, Steve leaned his forehead against mine.
"Y/N. . ."
"Steve," I cut him off. "This isn't. . . I just. . . This isn't as easy as you're making it sound."
"I know," he said instantly. "I know it's not going to be easy. But I'm willing to do the work. I mean it, Y/N. I will do anything and everything to make it up to you. Anything you want, anything you ask, I'll do it. I haven't been the same without you, Y/N. I need you in my life. Please don't let me go another day without you."
"I don't want to go another day without you," I whispered.
Steve, overcome with happiness, grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap. I gasped as he put his hand on the back of my neck and pressed my lips to his. I moaned as our lips moved messily in sync.
"Say it again," he moaned as he broke the kiss. I leaned back and gently held Steve's face in my hands.
"I don't want to go another day without you, Steve Harrington," I said, watching the lust build in his eyes. "So, please, don't let me go another day without you."
"You never have to go another day without me."
He was about to kiss me again, but I put my hands on his chest, stopping him.
"Steve," I whispered.
"What's wrong, baby?" He said softly.
"You promised to get me back before my parents woke up."
"Right," he chuckled as he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering. "Let's get you home."
I got off his lap and he instantly grabbed my hand, walking me back to his car. The entire drive back into town, my thoughts on the events of tonight.
We pulled up to my house and instantly looked at each other. Steve leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. I smiled as I moved our lips against his. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.
"Not another day," he whispered.
"Nope," I giggled. "Not another day."
Steve kissed me again before finally letting me get out of his car. I quietly slipped back into my room without my parents noticing. As I lay in bed and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach, I had one more thought.
My parents weren't going to be too thrilled about this.
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sincerely-astra ¡ 4 months ago
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Can i ask for Yandere Misha with Ocean? or Yandere Osha (Misha x Ocean ship) x reader? I need osha content, please save me osha... (Between is from ride the cyclone, and thanks!!)
☁️Yandere Mischa Bachinski x Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg🌧️
Sorry for how late this is, I’ve been sick for a couple days. :’(
⚠️WARNING: General yandere content!⚠️
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They first met at Mischa's first rehearsal, where he is promptly introduced to Ocean... and the chaotic behavior that comes with her.
Mischa would be lying if he said he wasn't very annoyed with her when they first met, especially since she kept correcting his pronunciation and she was generally a little bit of a nuisance...
He mostly just avoided her and ignored any of her attempts to correct him, of course irritating Ocean, but she eventually just gave up with it.
This all changed though when Ocean came into choir practice obviously sick...
Ocean rarely, if ever, gets sick, the last time she could remember getting so much as the flu was in elementary school. It was by far the worst few days of her life..., making her take a silent pledge to never sick again!
Alas, that didn't work obviously.
She really tried to conceal her sickness, just going about choir practice as normal and correcting everyone for the zillionth time. But to everyone else in the room, it became immediately obvious. She was nowhere near as vocal as usual since anytime she spoke a cough would escape her, she was constantly shivering the whole time, and she honestly just looked awful...
Even if her illness was obvious to everyone, most of the others didn't care to do anything about it or tried and got told off by Ocean.
It was so weird for Mischa to see the girl who so often got his eyes to roll be in such a state... like, her personality had been dialed back by 10. It would be an understatement to say this wasn't at least somewhat worrying.
So, despite his brain yelling at him to just leave her alone, he confronted her about it after practice.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Wha- What are you talking about? I'm fine."
"No, you've been... quiet and coughing the whole time. It's weird."
"I told you, I'm fine! Why do you care anyway? My performance hasn't been impacted at all-"
"Oh my god, just shut up and tell me where you live."
"...Excuse me?!-"
Yeah, okay, he maybe could've handled it better, but he had good intentions!
After prying her address out of her, he promptly carried her home, much to the confusion of everyone, including Ocean who was baffled by his audacity.
A big reason for this sudden change in his behavior was that Mischa honestly hates seeing people sick, especially since it reminds him so much of his mother. And even if he 'hated' Ocean, he felt a weird sense of obligation to take care of her (mainly since he knows Ocean wouldn't do it herself.)
At first, he was just gonna drop her off at her house and let her parents deal with her from there, but it took only a knock on the door, a sigh from Ocean, and no one to greet the two of them for him to realize that wasn't gonna be the case...
That's what led Mischa Bachinski to spend an entire weekend with a sick Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg.
And despite all odds, Mischa had found himself growing more tolerant of her by the minute. He even made a Ukrainian food that his mother taught him for her to try.
Even for how headstrong Ocean can be, she really did appreciate him looking after her. She usually hates being sick, mainly because it's the only time her parents really try to talk to her only for it to be about some kind of herbal medicine, but Mischa made it bearable.
She liked having him over and talking to him, learning more about the boy she once never gave a second glance at.
But, the weekend had to end sometime, and with Ocean recovered back to full health, Mischa thought that would be the last time they would hang out together. After all, who would want to hang out with him? The 'angriest boy in town' as so many of his classmates deemed him.
And yet, the next Monday as he walked through the front doors of the school, preparing for another day of barely paying attention to lessons and texting Talia, he was greeted by a smiling Ocean and a nervous Constance.
He didn't even have a chance to start voicing his confusion as Ocean started going off on a tangent on how her bus was later than usual, Constance adding a few comments here and there, while Mischa just stood there and listened...
The situation was comical in his eyes and yet he listened to every word... He was fully engaged in her rambles that filled the air, her body language, and the little quirks she had when speaking. Like, he couldn't help but be mesmerized by her.
It was so strange, but he didn't complain about that and she wouldn't either.
Mischa and Ocean would talk to one another more and more often, and Mischa started craving her presence more and more.
The yearning wasn't one-sided either, Ocean so often found herself wondering what Mischa was doing at that moment and she found herself actively seeking him out. She didn't even care about what they talked about, she just liked being near him.
Eventually, Mischa also asked if Ocean could tutor him, surprising and delighting Ocean. To her, it was simply Mischa wanting to be better in school, to Mischa though, it was simply a way to keep her to himself for a while longer...
He would frequently act as if he didn't understand a certain problem or equation just so their tutoring sessions went on longer, even though he was actually a lot smarter than most give him credit for.
Their relationship definitely started off rocky, but with those problems resolved and Ocean and Mischa pretty much spending every day together..., Mischa started to gain a small crush on the ginger-haired girl.
It really was small at first, he just started noticing how pretty she looked when she got passionate about something (which is pretty much everything-) or how he liked the way she styled her hair on certain days, every time she was near him it was like they were the only two people in the room...
He wasn't that oblivious, he could tell he was growing feelings for the girl. It was just like how he once felt with Talia, yet..., it was also so different. It was much more intense like, his heart would ignite on fire just by thinking of her, his palms would grow sweaty, his breathing would shallow.
The love he had for Talia, he isn't even sure if he could call it that anymore, was nothing like the love he had for Ocean.
Mischa didn't even hesitate when blocking Talia's number and deleting their messages, after all, she would just become an obstacle later on, so why bother?
He wouldn't, no, couldn't let anything get in the way of their relationship. He loved her like he loved no other, surely she saw it too? Surely, she felt the same way about him as he does with her.
He isn't sure if he can take no as an answer anyway.
Mischa just loved Ocean so much, he felt as if every time he saw her his love was amplified by 10. Hell, he couldn't get her off of his mind if he tried, she always running through his head with those pretty eyes and cocky smile...
All the while, Ocean never picked up on Mischa's more obsessive tendencies. She did notice how his eyes would follow her figure as she was talking to others or when she was walking through the hallways. Not that she minded it, the attention made her feel giddy as could feel herself falling for him too.
It was so easy to see when his teasing comments made her smile so much that it hurt, or when she ached for any semblance of his touch, or even when would try to find any excuse to hang out with him. For the first time in her life, she was in love...
Ocean's feelings never truly measured up to Mischa's though, after all, there were a lot of things he would do for her that even in his most obsessive state he could see were objectively wrong (He could care less about that though.)
Mischa will without a doubt protect Ocean from any insult that comes her way, even if it comes from their fellow choir members.
He has had the urge to physically fight Noel on more than one occasion.
He lowkey feeds into her delusions a little..., making her feel like she's better than everyone else so he can isolate her. She can't be caught hanging out with people lower than her, can she? He really does it out of fear that someone will take her away from him, kind of like his mom.
He has written so many songs about her, that it really isn't a laughing matter... Under his bed and in some boxes are just pages and pages of raps, songs, and any other kind of note under the sun, all of which end up becoming just obsessive ramblings.
There is no way in hell that he will ever release those songs, mainly cause he doesn't want her to get the wrong idea but also because he thinks they are good enough for her.
Now, when Mischa confesses have no doubt that it will be in the most romantic and traditional way he can muster up. Even if he's tempted to make a rap song as a confession, he just wants to be perfect for her.
Ocean could swear her heart was beating a million miles a minute as the tall Ukrainian confessed to her, his words being cut off before he could finish with an enthusiastic, "YES!"
They are literally such a power couple..., in the sense that everyone and their mom are scared of them- If you don't have Mischa beat you up physically, Ocean with beat you up verbally.
Ocean gets so excited when she gets to go to his house for the first time since she wants to make the best possible impression on his adoptive parents that she can. Mischa doesn't have the heart to tell her they don't really get along..., leaving Ocean to stand at the door introducing herself to his parents while he stands off to the side awkwardly.
His adoptive parents cannot fathom how he landed a girl like her..., and even if they seemed supportive to Ocean and Mischa's faces, they could only wonder how long would it last. Those kinds of thoughts didn't slip past Mischa and he wasn't shy about making Ocean avoid his parents as much as possible.
When Ocean finds out how his parents treated him for pretty much the entire time he's lived with them, Mischa has to physically restrain her to stop her from marching over to them and berating them for how poorly they treated him. That moment only solidified how much Mischa loved Ocean.
If you thought Ocean couldn't crave Mischa's touch possibly anymore, then you are sorely mistaken. Even if she is still too prideful to say it, she will always try to initiate some sort of contact between them so Mischa knows she wants some physical attention.
He finds her need for his touch super cute. :)
His personal favorite thing though is when Ocean is wearing literally anything of his, be it a shirt, sweatshirt, his cologne, whatever it is, he absolutely adores it. And if she ever gives him something of hers to wear, he will cherish it like his life depends on it.
It's a win-win situation, Mischa likes her to wear his stuff and Ocean finds his clothes comfortable. She especially likes wearing it at her house when she for whatever reason can't come over.
He really hates when her responsibilities get in the way of their dates and whatnot, but he does understand how important those kinds of things are to her. (If he starts feeling really lonely though, he will find some way to cancel whatever plans she may have so that she'll spend more time with him.)
If for some reason, Ocean starts to notice his yandere behavior and how much of a problem it is, she'll undoubtedly start to feel really uncomfortable with their relationship... No matter how in love with him she is, Ocean has always been a more facts-over-feeling person, and she knows this isn't normal.
So, as any person would, she tries to break it off.
...Ocean couldn't tell if it was her approach or how she worded it, but he did not take that well in the slightest. Mischa isn't afraid to gaslight her in these kinds of situations, reminding her that all of her previous friends weren't there for her anymore and that he is the only person who has stuck by her side.
The fear she had of being alone quickly made her do a 180, practically pleading for him to stay with her...
After all, he will always be there for her.
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A/N: Hopefully I didn't mischaracterize them too bad or anything- Also, I did not realize how much I wrote until it was too late... Guess I got too busy becoming an osha enjoyer lol.
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hearts4golbach ¡ 11 months ago
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The Night Shift.
chapter 2.
Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.
Repetitive.
It was all so fucking Repetitive.
So fucking repetitive. 5 hours of taking orders and making them. Tonight made me want to curl up in someone's arms and cry. But I didn't have anyone waiting for me at my tiny apartment. I had never even had a boyfriend before. My parents were so insistent that I find a beautiful, tall, blonde boy who plays football. I had never found that.
Repetitive. The ringing of the bell on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. i didn't bother brightening my expression, assuming it was just another drunk.
"What can I get for you?" I asked in a monotone voice, not looking up from the register.
"Y/n?" a familiar voice called. "You okay?" I looked up, my eyes meeting Johnnie's.
"Oh, hey. Sorry, it's been a long night. Seeing you is the first good thing that has happened to me tonight."
"Do you wanna sit down and talk about it?" He offered.
A small smile grew on my face. "why not? let me take your order first."
"Can I try a large vanilla coffee? Iced, please." His tone was calm and sweet, and he seemed less tired than he did last night.
He began to take out his wallet. "This one's on me." I commented. "Any updates about your ex?"
"I haven't heard much from her, and that makes me paranoid." he replied. "let me pay, Y/n. it's your paycheck."
I rolled my eyes. "You got me a donut last night, it's the least I can do." I smiled as he threw up his hands in defeat. "maybe she got bored."
"I hope so." he sighed, leaning over the counter has he did last night. "Do you have any crazy exes?"
My face flushed. "I've never dated anyone."
His eyes widened. "That's shocking, you're really pretty. Sorry if that offended you or something."
I shook my head, my face as red as a beet. He was very attractive himself, so the compliment caught me off guard. I had no idea what to say. "Thank you, uh, you're attractive yourself." i stuttered, muttering out the first thing that came to mind.
a small blush spread across his face as he smiled with his teeth. "what's stopped you from having a boyfriend?" he asked as I brought his coffee, as well as one I made for myself, to the nearest table. he sat across from me.
"My parents want me to have the perfect guy. Blonde, football, blue eyes, you know." i stopped and looked at him, seeing a dissapointed look on his face. "But that's not what I want. So I guess I've just been waiting for someone to come to me."
His facial muscles rested. "cool." he replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "this is really fucking good."
I laughed. "did it catch you off guard? I can't believe you, johnnie. I don't make shitty coffee." I teased.
he immediately shook his head. "no, I just usually don't like coffee."
I made an 'ah' sound and took a sip of my own.
"There's a new year's party this weekend, me and my best friend are going. You should go." he smiled. "Me and Jake can give you a ride and everything."
"hmm. I can try, but I don't see why I wouldn't be able to go. I've never been to a party."
"Oh Jesus. Have you ever drank?"
"Thats like asking if I breathe air." I rolled my eyes. "why 'oh jesus?'" I questioned in a mocking tone.
"New years parties are always fucking insane, in my opinion. I'm always reeking of some sort of alcohol even if I don't drink." he scrunched his nose slightly, as if he could smell it already.
"sounds like my type of event." I smirked, taking another drink.
He smiled with his teeth. "So you'll go?" he said excitedly.
"of course." I smiled. "it'd be nice to get out of the house."
"Tell me more about your family." He replied, intertwining his fingers.
"Well, my grandparents spent their whole lives saving up to buy this cafe." I began, mimicking my parents voices. "and, in their will, they passed it down to my mom and dad. I've been spending majority of my time in this building for as long as I can remember."
"are you a peoples person?" Johnnie asked me.
"like, am I good with people and like to be around them?" he nodded. "I guess so, but I like being alone, too. like, if I'm alone too long I get tired or if I'm with people for too long I get tired. I don't know, it's weird."
"understandable." Johnnie acknowledged.
"what about you?"
"I'm just like you. But I lean more towards being with, like, two people than being alone or in a big group." he explained, waving his hand around.
I nodded in agreement. Maybe it was a bad idea to go to this party, but I had little to lose.
"Can I get your number?" He asked me. I quickly wrote it down on a napkin.
my heart fluttered. I gave a guy my number. I wasn't expecting anything to come from me and johnnie, though.
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autisticandroids ¡ 5 months ago
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Hey ur my fave spn blogger by far (heavy is the head that has the crown etc etc) it occurred to me I've never heard u talk in Bobby? Any thoughts? Id love to hear em.
hey! so this is an interesting question. probably the reason i don't post much about bobby has to do with the fact that... well... i actually broadly enjoy bobby, and i enjoy him for exactly the same basic, surface level reasons as the show expects me to.
like, normally, if i'm watching supernatural, i am at least somewhat in conflict with the text. it expects me to like things i don't like (these are called "dogshit episodes" and they're a common hazard), and when i do like it it's often not really for the reasons that the show is expecting me to like it.
like... if you really want to see me shout and cheer, you should see what it looks like when i rewatch exile on main st., but neither a randomly selected mainstream audience nor miss gamble herself would necessarily agree with or even understand why i was doing so. like my enjoyment of that episode requires a lot of interpretive effort.
but fast forward three episodes to weekend at bobby's, and i could sit in a room with a general audience person, a reddit bro, a wincestie, and dabb/lofflin themselves and we would all basically have the same watch experience. i might be critical of the treatment of japanese culture, or annoyed by the way crowley's heel turn was handled, or something else, some specific element. but in terms of the broad strokes - bobby going around doing things, hunting a case, existing in relationships with a series of other characters - i like it for exactly the reason i'm meant to.
and that's kind of how bobby as a character is for me. there just isn't a lot of distance between what i'm supposed to enjoy and what i do enjoy. and it's that distance, and the interpretive labor required to close it, that generates thoughts, and thoughts are what generates posts. which means i don't really have a ton of posts about bobby.
i guess i will say... i used to be cautiously pro-killing-bobby-off in s7, definitely more than other characters who died in gamble era. because i was like "man, you gotta kill the father figure." that's the nature of these things. but upon rewatch, i actually think bobby's role as father figure is overstated. certainly it's overstated by the fandom, but even in the show to an extent. although i will concede a bit because i love when soulless sam tries to kill him. only good thing that happens in appointment in samarra. but overall bobby is as much just a friend as he is a father, you know? he engages with the boys on much more equal terms than a parent does.
but anyway. i don't like that they killed him because 1) they kept bringing him back, frequently stupidly. i liked safe house, but otherwise i am against basically all of bobby's appearances post-s7. i guess inside man was fine, but like. that's just the thing. it was fine. resoundingly okay. and safe house could easily have happened with bobby alive, just like. have him having the flashback. and 2) i think it has a bad effect on the show because like... after bobby died, the interpersonal conflict became even more dour. and it's already so fucking dour. there are no outside characters whatsoever to observe when things happen and so stuff spirals into madness even more and worse than it used to. no one is there to yell at dean the way bobby did in season four, you know? and then 3) i just enjoy bobby a lot i'm an enjoyer. i would have liked the show more if he stuck around in a meaningful way (and not just as a constantly recurring oh he's back from the dead for an episode plot).
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bouncybongfairy ¡ 1 year ago
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You Sure You Can't Come Over?
Danny x Fem Reader
Summary: Y\N and Danny have been going to school together forever. However, after an extreme blue balling encounter on Halloween night, you shoot your shot at hooking up with Danny.
Word Count: 4k+
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You were sitting in your English class patiently waiting for the bell to ring. It was Friday and after an exhausting work week; you were really looking forward to the weekend. Everything was pissing you off today, from your friend's overly perky tone to the fact that the cafeteria didn't have space to eat in. Being November, you'd think the weather would cool down but, unfortunately the summer heat was extremely clingy this year.
"My make-up is literally melting." You said as you walked out of the classroom with your friend Nat. 
"I took my lashes off during P.E., there's nothing you can do to combat this heat." She said, fanning herself with a paper folder. 
"At least this will be one of the last hot days of the summer. It's November so the rainy season is coming, then we'll be complaining about our frizzy hair," you said, causing you both to laugh. Nat pulled her phone out of her pocket and stopped abruptly.
"Shit, my mom is picking me up at the back entrance. I can give you a ride home. You live like.. 10 minutes away." Nat said. 
"No, I want to get some sun on the way home. As you said, I don't live far." You said stuffing your cardigan that you wore to cover your tank top into your bag.
"Alright well, text me if you wanna hang out this weekend!" Nat called out to you as she began to walk in the opposite direction. 
You stick your headphones into your ear before starting home. Before putting any music on you scroll through your snap for a bit. That's when you noticed Danny posted to his story; it was a video. It was him walking alongside a couple of friends, his P.E. shirt was draped over the back of his neck. Sweat dripped from his forehead, collecting a bit on his lip. He tilted his head back and poured Gatorade into his mouth. Some of the blue liquid dripped down from his chin to his neck. His jaw came into full view when he took a drink, before panning over to his friends who were play-fighting each other. 
Butterflies came into your stomach as you rewatched the video. It wasn't like you and him ever had anything serious. The first time you guys ever interacted was only a month ago at Nat's Halloween party. Even thinking about that night made your cheeks turn red. It was the first time you'd ever bought an 'adult' Halloween costume without consulting your mom. Nat's parents were out of town on a business retreat which left the house vacant. You got there in the morning to help her clean and set up. 
"You don't think this costume is too much?" You asked about adjusting the nurse's hat that sat on your hair. Nat came over to you with a look of disdain on her face. 
"Okay.. first of all, you could wear a hospital gown and still look hot. Secondly, it's a pool party, yes it's Halloween but people will still swim. And lastly, Halloween is the time to dress a little skanky. I'm showing more than you." She said giving you a kiss on the cheek before going back to putting several bottles of Pink Whitney and Svedka into the freezer. 
You were wearing a weed nurse costume; it was essentially a sheer mini dress with green trim and a front zipper. It came with a small decorative apron and nursing hat that had a weed leaf stamped onto both. You bought a matching marijuana leaf bikini to go underneath it. Even with a costume so scandalous, Nat's was definitely more provocative. She was literally wearing a leopard print bikini with matching cat ears. It made you feel a little better about your costume. 
"Like anyone is getting in the pool." You said to set up beer pong on the kitchen island. 
"The boys will," She said, closing the freezer, "speaking of boys, you know Danny is coming." She said smacking your ass as she walked by. 
"Is he really?" You asked following her to her bedroom.
"You've been into him forever, I would be a bad friend if I didn't. Not to mention I invited my boothang who isn't my boothang but will be by the end of the night." She said fixing her lashes in her phone camera.
"I'm nervous to talk to him low-key, I feel like it's easier to crush from afar." You said laughing at her,
"Fuck that, after a couple of shots you won't be feeling so nervous. I think you guys would be cute together so please stop acting like you don't want something to happen between the two of you." She said walking over to you and handing you a tube of lip gloss, "But even if you didn't want to fuck with him tonight please still let loose with me?" She finished her pleed by sticking out her bottom lip. 
"One or two shots." You said sternly before breaking out into laughter from Nat's reaction.
You aren't sure what exactly led to Nat grinding against you with a joint hanging out of your mouth and half full plastic cup. The music was Blaring Beautiful Nightmare by Lil Tracy. The crowd inside the living room was dense, everyone was sweating, seemingly unaware of how humid the space was becoming. You pass the joint to Nat who takes a huge drag, blowing the smoke in between the both of you. 
You knew you were pretty cross-faded when you started thinking Nat was right. As much as you hate to admit it you really did need this. Being able to let loose was nice, it was like you could physically feel the pressure of daily life lifting from your shoulders and it felt fucking amazing. Nat passes the joint back and your eyes light up when you realize it's your turn again. You feel Nat pull away from you but you were zoned out, moving your body to the music. 
"Yo! Y|N this is Chris the guy I was telling you about." When you turned around you were surprised to see Danny by his side. 
"I know you!" You giggle offering the joint to him. He laughs and takes it from you before responding,
"Yeah, you're in like three of my classes," He said, blowing out a cloud of smoke. 
"You have been keeping tabs on me?" You asked sarcastically, taking the joint back. 
"Whatever," He joked back before asking a question, "Do you think we could step outside? It's deafening and hot in here." He said having to step closer to you to be heard. You nodded your head yes before finding the front door. Nat had already wandered off with Chris by this time. 
You took him by the hand and led him into the kitchen before heading outside. Grabbing a new solo cup and filling it with a mixture of Pink Whitney and Sprite. The joint now starting to become a roach was starting to burn your lips. You handed it to Danny who put it out on a heavy-duty paper plate. Once you are done, you lead him outside. 
"Sorry I don't mean to take you away from your scene, there was just a lot going on," Danny said, sitting on the bench that was on the porch. 
"That's not really my scene, Nat's my best friend; this is her house and it was important to her that I was here." You said taking a sip of your drink before taking out a thin cylinder out of your bra. 
"Could have fooled me, you seemed like you were really enjoying yourself on the dance floor," He said as you pulled the pre-rolled blunt out of the canister. 
"Yeah, normally I'm not one to party or get this wasted but everyone has their own demons they need to release sometimes I guess," You said, using the Playboy lighter caked in black resin towards the bottom. 
"Yeah, my family is seriously fucked up," He said taking the blunt from you; your manicured hand grabs the solo cup to take a sip.
"Grass is always greener on the other side. I'm an only child and my parents are always gone, they don't even bother with having a nanny after I got my license. Obviously, family drama sucks but... I guess I'd rather be fighting with someone rather than be alone all the time," You said, grabbing the blunt back and taking a deep inhale. 
"Right, you know the saying that's like 'so and so always finds where the grass is greener and that's where they go to pasture' I always thought that was so stupid. Am I supposed to stay where the grass is dead as fuck with their stupid ass?" He said which made you laugh causing you to cough out your hit. 
He laughed at your reaction before grabbing the blunt back. You finish off the rest of your mixed drink before standing up to fix your costume. It wasn't until you stood that you realized how fucked up you were. You stumbled on your footing at first but Danny stood up and grabbed your forearm. 
"Sorry, I'm fine I didn't mean to do that, to like to push you." You said trying as hard as you could to sound sober. You began to mentally beat yourself up for drinking so much but Dan started to speak and it took all your brain power to focus on one thing at a time. 
"No, you're good, do you want me to help you back inside?" Still holding on to your arm.
"Yeah, I feel like I can hear another shot calling my name," You giggle, starting to walk forward slightly swaying. 
"I don't mean to uh, dictate your life but I think you've had enough no?" He asked softly, before you answer you whip around to face him but lose your balance causing him to reach for you. He snakes his arm around your waist, preventing you from falling off the porch stairs. Your body was pressed against his, your arms wrapped around his neck. Your head came to his shoulders, making you crane your neck to look at him. 
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna walk home. I live right up the street. I hate sleeping at Nat's when there's a party; I'm always paranoid that someone is gonna stumble into the room I'm in," You said, grabbing your purse before breaking away to walk down the stairs. 
"I don't think you should walk home like this, the outfit or the inebriation," He said, skipping down the stairs to get in front of you. 
"I know, I know but like I said I live literally a 10-minute walk down the street and I don't want to ruin your Halloween by having to babysit me," You said starting to walk down the sidewalk. 
"Well if it's only a 10-minute walk do you mind if I join you? Just to give me peace of mind that you got home okay? I would want someone to do the same for my sisters, you know?" He asked as he began to match pace with you. 
"Well, aren't you a gentleman," You remark as you start your trek home.
The walk home felt much longer in your head than it actually was. You guys made small talk about school among other things. He ended up hooking his arm around yours because you were still swaying a bit. Considering this was the first time you had formally met it was mostly getting to know the basic things. His siblings, what both of your parents did for work, what mutual friends you had at school etc. He began talking about his music and how he wanted to eventually become a producer. You pulled a mint puff-bar offering it to Danny who huffed on it for a bit. Once you got to your house, you weren't surprised to be greeted by an empty driveway. You walk up to the front door and pull your keys out of your purse. You unhook your arm and trail it down to his hand. 
"Do you wanna come in?" You asked looking up at him; he didn't say anything, only nodding his head in agreement. You lead him by the hand into the kitchen where there was a note on the refrigerator that read: Meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the fridge, will be back tomorrow night for dinner. After opening the Du-Par restaurant to-go box, you shove it in the microwave. You gasp when you remember what you have in the fridge which scares Danny. 
"What is it!?" He exclaimed, turning to your direction, you smiled at him and pulled out your diet coke. His facial expression dropped which caused you to laugh. You relight the somewhat of a long roach and sit up on the kitchen island. You motion for him to come closer to you which he does. He rests his hands on the counter next to your legs. You take a hit and tilt your head back and blow the smoke into the air. 
"Do you have a girlfriend?" You asked. 
"No," He said smiling.
"Do you wanna hook up?" You asked, pulling him closer to you with your legs.
"I would, but not when you're this fucked up," He said, 
"That's really sweet, you know I've liked you for like ever. I know we're not gonna hook up tonight but I don't want you to think the only reason I asked is because I'm drunk. I think you're really kind, but I like the fact that you're not too soft. In 8th grade, you came in late to 8th period from P.E and you were sweating still. Your hair was dyed red and it tinted your sweat red, it was dripping down your sideburns and neck. You ended up sitting right in front of me and the entire class I literally couldn't get you out of my mind; even after I couldn't stop thinking horrible things to do together," You said hicupping and giggling after. He moved closer to you and rested his forehead on your shoulder.
"I'm not going to take advantage when you're drunk but holy shit you are hot," He mumbled into your shoulder. 
"You seemed stressed, I don't know what you do for stress relief but maybe you could do me sometime?" You joke running your hands down his back. 
"Oh my god," He sighed, biting your shoulder playfully, which made you squeal. You pulled at his shirt causing both of your chroches to press together. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off the counter top. You were now standing between the island and him.
"I should get to bed, I have a nail appointment tomorrow morning at 11," You said looking up at him. He laughs and gives you a kiss on the cheek before you walk him out. If you weren't so wasted you probably would have thought about this encounter while laying in bed. However once your head hit the pillow you were out like a light.
~~~
Thinking about that night made your stomach flip. It made you feel more secure knowing that he seemed to be into you. Your insecurities were telling you it could be because he was stoned or drunk but you tried not to play into that. Once you got home you took a shower because it was so damn hot outside. Once you cleaned yourself up and got dressed you went into the kitchen to be greeted by another note; it explained that your parents would be in Utah for the weekend. You straighten your hair simply trying to pass time till bed. You open your phone and see that Danny posted another story. It was a selfie of him, laying back on his bed with the caption: the things I would do for joint rn. 
You immediately set your straightener down and go to your parents room. Once you walk into the closet you start searching for your dads match box. The weed was practically glowing angelically as you opened the box. You skipped back into your room and started frantically trying to get yourself together. You grab your keys and use your EZ split to cut the wrap open. After grinding the  weed and having a slight panic attack after the wrap ripped a little on you. You change into a short sleeve bodysuit; the fabric on your legs ends at your upper thighs. You grab your phone and sit on the bean bag in your room. Putting the blunt into your mouth and letting the canister lay on your lap. You find Danny's story and hit reply before taking a quick selfie and adding text over the image that said: horrible things? 
You stared at the picture for a couple moments before sending it.The rush of adrenaline you got after was making you sweat. What if he thought you were being too forward? What if he really was just stoned that night and didn't mean to send the wrong signals? What if he had a girlfriend now or was talking to someone more serious? What if-. Your snowballing anxiety was interrupted by your phone going off. On your lock screen you see the message notification from Danny. You smile and unlock your phone before opening the snap. It was him, he was wearing a hoodie and shorts. His backpack on his shoulders and his longboard in his hand. The camera angle was high so you could see his head to his feet. The image was captioned: send your address and i'll be there soon.
Your cheeks flushed bright red and you quickly sent it to him before cleaning up your room. Picking up loose clothes and make up brushes that fell from your vanity as you were getting ready. You brush your hair and examine yourself in the mirror. You were so happy that he gave you the same energy back when you reached out. It wasn't like you were lying, you really did have a thing for him for the longest. I guess when you admire someone for so long they seem to become unattainable. After sitting on the bed for a while waiting, you finally hear the doorbell ring. You almost trip down the stairs to open the door. He was standing there, he was holding onto his backpack straps. He had slid his longboard underneath the bench on your porch.
"Come in," You giggled, which broke the ice. He smiled and walked in still gripping his backpack straps with both hands. You grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs, into your bedroom. When he walked into the room laughed which made you whip around. 
"What?" You asked sitting on the bed motioning for him to join you. 
"I expected your room to be girly but damn," He laughed before taking his backpack off and sitting down next to her. 
"So did you only come to smoke or what?" You asked, putting the blunt in between your lips and lighting it. 
"No, I meant it when I said I was into you. I just don't take advantage of girls while they're clearly wasted." He said taking the blunt from your lips and taking a drag. You loved how direct he was with his feelings. 
"You know I literally can't stop thinking about you ever since that night. I can't lie, I thought it was super hot when you talked about how long you've liked me for. It's really sexy to think you've been waiting this long to get with me," He said. 
"Are you gonna make me wait any longer?" You asked, staring into his eyes. They were bloodshot and were making the blue look extremely vibrant. You drop the blunt into an ashtray that was on your bedside table. 
You slide over to him and straddle his lap. You run your fingers through his hair, pulling him into a kiss. He groans into your mouth bucking his hip up slightly as you bite down on the bottom lip. You arch your back, pressing your chest into his. It was like you couldn't get close enough to each other. He flips you over so that you're on your back. You move your hands from his hair to his back digging your nails into his upper back. He bites onto your neck which causes him to let out a moan. When you moan his hips buck again, you push him off of you gently which causes him to sit up immediately. 
"Is everything okay?" He asked which made you smile before replying,
"You're so sweet," You said while getting on your knees in front of him. You tug at his basketball shorts and let you tug them down with his boxers. 
When you saw his bottom growth you were shocked at how big he was. He was clearly swollen and practically throbbing, his head peeking out of his foreskin slightly. It was a shade of red that almost looked purple. He had pubic hair but it was clearly taken care of and trimmed. Almost cinematically, there was a drip slowly falling down the bottom of his head. You move your lips so that their hovering just over his t-cock.
"Can I suck it?" You asked looking up at him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, using his arms to support his body that was almost leaning back. He nodded his head and moved his arm to grab your bun, gently connecting your lips to his head. You swirl your tongue around it which causes his body to go rigid. He moves his other hand and moves his grip from the top of your bun to the roots of your hair. You let out a moan as he tightens his grip. 
He starts thrusting himself into your mouth. In turn you match the flicking of your tongue against his head to match his rhythm. You look up at him and moan at the sight, he was looking down at you with his mouth slightly open. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he were angry and sweat was dripping down the side of his face. He grunts out the word fuck loudly, you could tell he was getting close because he was slowly getting harder in your mouth. 
He uses your hair to pull you off him, a loud pop sound follows as you release him from the suction of your lips. You giggle when you look up and see his reaction. His face was completely red, covered in sweat with his bottom lip swollen from how much he had bit it. He moved his hands from your head to your cheeks before leaning down to make out. The kiss was wet and sloppy because of how much saliva covered your mouth and chin. He pulled away and without wiping his mouth asked,
"Can I finger you?" His eyes were practically black from how wide his pupils were. 
You didn't even give a verbal answer, just stripping off your body suit and climbing onto the bed. You lay on your back, Danny follows and lays on his side next to you. He sets his elbow on the bed and uses his left hand to support his head. With his right hand he trails his fingers down your torso till he's parting your lips. He moans and drops his head slightly when he feels your clit and how wet you were. You arch your back and tilt your head back as he starts playing with you.
You pull him into a kiss and eventually just press your lips to his. You become unable to focus on making out from the intense amount of pleasure. He chuckled when he noticed this and slipped his index and middle finger inside of you. You moan loudly, racking your nails down his back. 
"Ah fuck," He half moaned and half groaned. 
He takes a break from fucking his fingers inside of you and presses his fingers deep inside you and starts swirling them around. You throw your head back in ecstasy, as you press yourself into the mattress he takes your nipple into his mouth. As you began to orgasm you could feel him thrusting sporadically into your hip. You can barely think and you cum, working your hips down on his hand. As your moans lower in volume and intensity he pulls his digits out of you.
He takes off his shirt and wipes you down with it, then himself before taking you into his arms. You guys cuddle in comfortable silence for a while. You almost fell asleep before he started kissing your forehead and face to keep you awake. You turn to face him and bury your head into his t-shirt. Once you are more awake you start rubbing his back gently. 
"When you get the chance, I found this weird book that I wanted to show you." He said.
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