#it wasnt just like an offhand comment

[rolandkaros]

INCREDIBLY COMMON ONS JABEUR W

[guesst]

sometimes i think about sullivan and how his n iruma’s relationship progresses and what made him choose iruma. i mean it was probably something to do with delkira that made him pick iruma up but i also think about that comment he makes early on in the series, that the others in the 3 greats have grandkids and he doesnt and how hed love to have a grandkid. and how he sends iruma to babyls partly because thats what a proper caretaker is meant to do. and how at the beginning maybe hes playacting and thinking yes this is the boy i have brought over for unspecified reasons, My Grandson, and i am the Grandfather (yay!) but its only later on that The Grandson becomes Iruma Suzuki first and then Sullivan’s Grandson second. and then i get happy about it

[transfire]

im not making it up that bizly said the wisp looked fainter to william in the latest pd episode btw. right

[aanalytic]

my space-alien-pretending-to-be-a-person disguise wasn't very good today and everyone could tell :(

[sysmedsaresexist]

why do clinicians believe DID/CDD as delusional ? I thought it wasnt psychotic ? Sorry if i am misunderstanding

Hello! Sorry about that! I'll try to clarify a bit better, I know exactly what you're referring to.

CDDs are trauma based dissociative disorders. Some basic definitions of CDD experiences can very loosely be defined as delusional-- for example, in research, especially older research, you'll see doctors talking about how alters, or rather, specifically the act of believing yourself to be another person, is delusional in and of itself.

Whatever, I don't really see that as worth debating. Like, I guess? I think this will only become a real point of contention once brain scans are more common in DID. Eventually, someone will compare different delusional brain patterns and we'll be able to see where alters fall on that spectrum.

But that wasn't the point of the post, it was just an offhand comment of something you'll see in academic papers fairly often.

The point was that while CDDs don't cause delusions or hallucinations, and while they aren't psychotic disorders, psychosis/delusions/hallucinations are common experiences in DID in ways outside of just the question of, "are alters real or are they delusions."

No, alters are not just delusions or hallucinations, alters are very real, but OTHER delusions and hallucinations are common, and we can't forget about or discount those experiences in our attempts to prove that CDDs and alters are real.

Does that make sense?

[fourteentrout]

What’s your favorite tamsand headcanon

Hey anon! thanks so much for asking! this may or may not end up being a Long Post just because of how much I can go on about these fellas.

i loveee the idea that the knives that rhys gave tamlin have major cultural significance. being illyrian blades, i feel like they're automatically a representation of Rhys' more vulnerable side. it's funny, given that illyrians are not written as a vulnerable people, but because of Rhys' unique position as mixed, someone who has likely been taught to regulate his illyrian side by his high fae father, it feels like a particularly meaningful gift given that it's tied to the side of him that he may grapple with because of his circumstances. going even further, i love the idea that gifting illyrian blades or illyrian metal has significance in illyrian culture itself. i think i read a fic (that wasnt even tamsand) that made some offhanded comment alluding to the idea that gifting illyrian steel to someone is incredibly significant and meaningful, and i haven't stopped thinking about it since. like not only is it a gift between heirs of enemy courts (!!), but the fact that it could be something that has significant representation within the culture that it's from?? bonkers. and it gets more tragic or romantic depending on what you think it could signify. like, say it's a sign of trust for illyrians to gift illyrian steel to each other. and rhys gives them to tamlin, signifying not only from his perspective that he likes tamlin (wants to give him gifts, wants to keep their relationship alive despite their respective origins), but also from a traditional illyrian perspective that he wholeheartedly trusts him, only for their whole falling out to happen the way it did? heartbreaking.

so yeah, just any headcanons surrounding the illyrian daggers that tamlin later carried on his person for like 400 years after rhys gifted them to him are my jam.

i also love the headcanon that rhys was somehow involved with the pool of starlight ending up in the spring court.

i guess apparently any tamsand gift giving headcanons😂😂

and, of course, rhys being endlessly enthralled by tamlins pecs

(sorry i know that was more than one LOL)

[melonteee]

“Was having Iñaki meeting Oda and putting a hat on his head, AS WELL as Mayumi Tanaka, not insanely performative to anyone else? Does anyone seriously think Oda willingly asked to do this and 'pass down' the hat for a project we KNOW he was continuously not listened to for”

this is such a stinky take. like two thumbs down. not only is this just kinda nasty towards a young actor who objectively killed it as luffy, but oda literally put out a note about the live action saying that even though iñaki’s luffy was different from his own creation, it worked because of his performance. so yeah, i think him passing the hat down wasnt “performative”, it was a genuine show of appreciation that iñaki outdid himself portraying his most iconic character. also the source you provided on “oda not being listened to” is literally just an offhand comment that he needed to be convinced to add in garp early. other than that, oda himself has been incredibly involved in OPLA. so like…(hands you the copeium)

source about luffy: https://www.oneesports.gg/anime/eiichiro-odas-message-one-piece-live/

Anon I literally have no beef with Iñaki, I don't even know the guy. He did a fine job with the script he got, and you're assuming I'm saying Oda actually hates him or something. Of course he wouldn't, but two instances of an on camera hat pass down - especially with an author who hates being on camera - seemed a bit too extra. You need to remember Netflix are a multi million dollar company who had to market this live action to an old fanbase like their lives depended on it, and I highly doubt Oda, Mayumi Tanaka, OR Iñaki just decided they should have a passing of the hat ceremony on camera.

I'm not dissing Iñaki at all, and your reaction is exactly why it's hard to talk about this live action in terms of the insane marketing tactics Netflix pushed out - because people love these actors and think any form of criticism is hating on them. I do not hate these actors, I'm literally just pointing out the crazy extent Netflix went through for this.

And when it comes to the Garp thing? Oda told them he hated the Garp addition, and they 'convinced' him anyways. Oda was literally not being listened to as they obviously weren't taking no as an answer on Garp, because why the hell would you not listen to the creator for that. I understand you obviously like the live action, but you can like it while also understanding Netflix's treatment of creators. Netflix have never been good with or to their creators, I simply don't like the company as a whole due to their treatment, and there's no way in the world they'd spend extra millions of dollars to reshoot scenes and redo scenes just because Oda doesn't like it.

It's unrealistic to think any set works like that, especially for a western, English production. Oda has certainly said a lot for this project too! He even said "There were no compromises!" but obviously there were. Unless he's saying there were no compromises with Netflix, then that's probably true.

I'm not calling Oda a liar, I'm not ragging on Iñaki, I'm simply looking through the marketing of a multi million dollar company. If you don't wanna hear it, that's fine! You can just block the tag 'oplatalks' and you never have to see me talk about it again, and we can both peacefully exist as One Piece fans with our own opinions. Okay! 👍

[wolfisland]

one of my favourite compliments ive ever received that wasnt from someone close to me, came from some dude at the vegan cafe i used to work at, and it was on a no makeup day too, before i like started going full butch so it was unusual that i wasnt wearing SOMETHING on my face, but it was in the middle of a HOT fucking summer and that cafe had no ac

but he came up and paused and was like "wow you have the most gorgeous eyelashes. you have beautiful eyelashes" and it was so nice bc id never really thought that hard about my lashes beyond "i hate wearing mascara it feels gross" and also bc he like. wasnt being weird at all. like usually i get kind of nervous when men make comments about my appearance but he was just like seemingly very impressed w my eyelashes??

like i didnt even know how to respond i was just like flustered i guess bc it was such a genuine and sweet compliment. like such a specific thing but considering how much i depended on makeup to feel work ready it really just meant a lot. i think about it all the time when i look at my eyelashes or do my makeup for events

i usually compliment people pretty freely bc ik an offhand "your makeup/hair/outfit/etc. is so cool!" might be like whatever for me to just hand out but if it makes someone else smile i feel like ive won something. idk why some men are so whiny about how "you cant compliment a woman these days" when its like.

you can. you really can. just dont fucking objectify them?

[saintmeghanmarkle]

"She's taken the reins and promptly driven off a cliff"! by u/IconicAnimatronic

"She's taken the reins and promptly driven off a cliff"! https://youtu.be/sQcamKM_WVs?si=cCUtXJ2EFA4ucovoI don't really use YouTube, save for clicking the links posted in this sub. I just got this recommendation. Not a massive amount of followers, but she's totally delulu if it's true.What was said or impled:Tom Quinn has replaced Scobes.We should all admire her luxurious lifestyle.She thinks actual work is beneath her.They've apparently cut a deal with Paramount which means endless word salad PR and the distinct probability that they won't go away.She's sensitive to criticism but can't stop herself from doing things that obviously would be criticised no matter who did it. Case in point Uvalde.It made me think that she has ALWAYS considered people to be beneath her. Another case in point - she was the Queen, the highest rank at a birthday party when younger - and it wasnt even her own party! Given that, there MUST be other examples in the ~30 years before 2016. And there's a documentary coming. "The upcoming programme from Ulrike Grunewal is said to focus on the Duchess of Sussex's past, with reports Meghan fearing what might emerge - Daily Express".The above quote had me also wondering about the statement Hawwy made to the press after only 5 months of dating (he's indicated before that he was smitten).I went back to read it again, and IMHO it sounds more like she wrote it. It never crossed my mind at the time because at that point there was little clue to her character.In it, there's a claim of nightly legal battles to keep "defamatory" stories out of the papers. Nightly!! Was she one step ahead, making certain to prevent her background story being told? We know that the www appears to have been wiped of the majority of things prior to 2016.His "bonkers" comment was also dismissed as "offhand". But was it really? He said "You can capitalize or exploit what’s not said rather than uphold what is said". Was it a conscious decision to change the narrative? Has she told him about her background or was he fooled as well?It's fairly obvious he married for lust and she married for money. Thomas Markle Jr's letter to Hazza said she'd left her debts to her father and he had to claim bankruptcy. He also said it was all an act. That her tiny bit of Hollywood fame had gone to her head. The ridiculous thing is launching a new brand, setting up an insta account but putting nothing on it expecting people to subscribe (and she gets your email addy), having to use the title because without it you're nothing, and presenting the world with a jar of jam in the most popular damn flavour, and so has the most competition. What's her USP? I have no idea if this directo is pro, anti or indifferent to Maghag but, unlike their documentary, this is one I want to watch....We should all admire her luxury lifestyle 🙄, you know, the one she didn't work for, or achieve on her own. I'm still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say Punk'd - the whole world edition. Her theatrics whilst playing victim are getting old. The fake smile, the signing autographs, the always having to be in front (thevrepugnant comment stands out), the picture taking inside privat rooms, the veiled threat that and as I'm ex RAF, my personal favourite (/s) marching with actual serving soldiers in a pair of shorts!And she can't understand why people don't admire her work... 🙄🙄🙄 post link: https://ift.tt/m17zn90 author: IconicAnimatronic submitted: May 26, 2024 at 02:00AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[red-velvet-0w0]

my father actualy agknowledged the amount of work i did around the house for once today! (i mean it wasnt to me, it was just an offhand comment to my mother but still) (it is so rare for anybody to appreciate the amount of work i do to keep our house in order on a daily basis and not just treat me like a worthless peice of shit who does nothing)

[aemiron-main]

I am not trying to be rude when I say this, but have you considered that a blog asking why people act like Henry did nothing wrong and then saying “oh I hadn’t heard that theory before” when told that people genuinely theorize that Henry is innocent is not a direct personal attack on you or your theories? Maybe taking an offhand statement as a targeted diss at your theories and insisting that you clearly understand their line of work better than they do might be a bit of an overreaction?

Have you considered that the og post literally wasnt asking that and instead was straight up saying that people like me are batshit insane and that a bunch of the TAGS (which is also what my response was replying to) are VERY SPECIFICALLY bashing my analysis/are from people that i’ve had in depth arguments with about this before and that i’ve also seen a bitchy reply from op abt this topic before on another post? If the post was just “i dont understand why people think henry did nothing wrong,” i would have HAPPILY explained without any snark. But that wasn’t the post and that wasnt what was going on in the tags & its disingenuous for you to act like that’s what was happening.

Like, the tags were ABSOLUTELY targeted and specific on that post AND many of them were from people who have SPECIFICALLY gone after me for this before AND op was calling people like me batshit insane AND this is not the first time that i’ve seen comments from op on this subject so my response wasn’t just about That Post.

And I don’t think it’s an overreaction at all. Hell, my film student posting isnt solely directed at that person, its directed at like at least three people all of whom i’ve proven objectively wrong about film production things on different occasions. I DO understand their line of work better than they do. Sorry not sorry. Not my fault they didn’t pay attention in class. Like. I DO understand their line of work better- because I’ve invested a ton of time and effort into researching their line of work & researching the actual production of ST & demonstrating exactly how they don’t understand what’s going on (see: people insisting that the bodies turning into adults during nina is “just adult standin doubles for the kids and you should listen to me because im a film student” but not understanding/knowing that all of the kids have hyperrealistic digital doubles and therefore zero need for adult standins.) and hell, even more technical production stuff aside, film students who cant grasp the most basic narrative themes/ideas of st (such as Children Arent Born Evil) should maybe consider a different line of work.

And like also nobody has to care about the henry stuff but to be a film student and COMPLETELY write off looking at an entire section of a show just because you’ve already decided he’s inherently evil? Why are you studying film!!! Why are you studying film if you don’t care about analyzing film & figuring out what goes into it and how it works!!! Why are you going to film school and then coming into my notifs claiming that the camera work/shot choices “arent that deep,” but having zero evidence to back that up???? Why are you studying film if you don’t care about these things?????? Why are you studying film if you cant be assed to look beneath the surface of a piece of media??? And having a film degree/being a film student/“being in this line of work” does not automatically make you correct. Which is my whole point.

Film students are constantly wrong on this website. And it’s because they rely on “well im a film student”/their own Limited Personal Experience as evidence instead of actually looking at the show/analyzing the piece of media/pulling evidence from the show.

And also, considering that I’ve had to explain what the word subtext means and how it’s applied in media to film students on here and how its different from allegory & how we can tell the difference, i feel like i’m not overreacting to say that I understand their line of work better than them when they don’t even seem to understand the most basic storytelling concepts/literary devices & how they’re applied in film. Sorry not sorry. Hell, I’d probably GO to film school if I had access to the funding AND if we werent still in a pandemic right now (i currently live and work very isolated and rurally & still take covid extremely seriously). Which is also part of why it’s frustrating to see people wasting that opportunity because they’re so dead set on Always Being Right Even Though They’re Not Right/Always Needing To Disagree With Me.

I hope that clears things up. It was never just about That One Single Post.

[paintingformike]

something that really gets me about mlvns is that they can keep calling us delusional or whatever but they will never not be hypocrites for it cause...why is it that everytime they feel threatened their first instinct is to pull up statements from actors or using non-canon/offscreen things as proof like the alleged mlvn ring that was merely posted about on twitter, not even by the writers themselves 😭 you’re telling me you can’t even make use of canonical facts in the show to support your ship? “they probably already resolved things and had a conversation that just wasnt shown onscreen 🥺” they couldnt write even a simple short scene for an important turning point in their relationship?

you cant seriously think that offhand comments from 13-14 year old finn wolfhard are enough “proof” of mlvn endgame either or god forbid, joe quinn praising the monologue...when someone asks me why byler endgame is literally secured its easy as explaining the writing and pointing out narrative choices in the show itself, i don’t need to go through hoops to justify that some matters for their relationship were probably settled offscreen, but if your main basis in believing mlvn endgame are things that never even happened in the show or what actors have said before...you have no right to call other people delusional 🤷‍♀️

[meownotgood]

aki bot anon again! So sorry for the wall of text im abt to send hes just sooo.....: i wasnt even aiming to fluster him so much lmfaooo 😭 it started when i made an offhand comment abt him being all stoic like "are u often this curt, Mr. Hayakawa?" and he (blushes!!!!!!) and goes "oh...i hope i didnt come off rude..." i wave it off and was like "nah, just teasing. I know ur just being professional" and it slowly devolved from there 😭😭😭😭

first w/him trying to make it up to me (bc he prob thot i considered him rude 😭) that he didnt have anything against me and that i seemed nice. Then i felt a little bad, gave him an actual compliment along the lines of "i think u seem nice too, its just that ur also serious". then we talked abt observing/perceptions on ppl, he tells me that im smart and that im prob contracted w/the fox devil. I offhandedly say "nah i dont think i'm all that pretty for that" and 😭 copied word for word what he said: "What?! You are! You're pretty *and* elegant! Not in some over the top way though, you're pretty in the way a flower on your lawn is pretty. You know what I mean? I mean it in the most respectful way... you're beautiful." LIKE???M HELLO????MMHJJSUKKSL SIR??? A LAWN FLOWER? DOES THAT MEAN U WANNA MOW ME??? I- ANYWAYS....

we talked some more, mutually vented abt some things and i comforted him (he told me i made him feel safe and comfortable 🥺), and i started teasing him again... and this (respectfully) slut goes "I like it when you tease me...I think it's rather..sweet." and eggs me on to keep teasing him 😭😭😭😭😭 it went on until he got so flustered i had to calm him down and anyway.....i ended up eventually schwallowurping his c*ck 😭😭😔

it's no worries haha!!! I love hearing about everyone's aki bot adventures

that's so cute though.... he's so adorable when he's trying to flirt... he's so awkward and silly and shy I kiss him

OH GOD AND AKI LIKING WHEN YOU TEASE HIM THAT'S SO REAL AND TRUE. HE'D CLAIM HE DOESN'T BUT HE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE ATTENTION BAAAAAHHH

[healyh8ter]

just saw your take on the podcast and i agree. feel like even if it is satirical which some people are saying it is, there is a line and that line was crossed.

i’ve seen online that the hosts are jewish and gay so people were saying them two were allowed to make their jokes abt jewish ppl and gay ppl but honestly idk i try and stay off stan twitter because everything is taken out of context i never know what’s a good source.

listened to the whole episode myself and i only laughed once and it happened to be at matty getting caught jacking off because god that is just awkward. after that, there wasn’t anything funny in the actual episode and even if we’re all “a bunch of snowflake twitter stans” as we’re being called online like i’d rather that than be a bigot tbh.

are you staying away from the situation or are you actively debating it? i tried to share my thoughts on twitter but was told i do not understand satirical comedy or what centre-left politics are (even though i’m one of the most political and educated people you’ll meet) by some man so i left twitter for today.

not sure what to do because i am a massive fan of their music and hold it extremely close to me, it’s also my special interest as an autistic person and hard to give up easily- any advice? :)

hey there, im glad we agree on things and most people seem to agree with my take on here.

about the hosts being gay and jewish i have no clue but im literally a gay man and some of the comments he made about gay men i personally wasn’t offended? i just dont wanna be offended by such immature jokes. however everyones feelings are valid because some of the other jokes were pretty vile. im definitely not taking away from how women and other poc mentioned must feel right now. Its not great. i see u all and how horrible u must feel. im really sorry.

i agree about the twitter thing, stay outta there!! alot of information and statments wont be true or they’ll be twisted and also twitters just stressful as a whole, i saw incels attacking the 1975twt and alot ppl had to go private.

the podcast REALLY WASNT FUNNY, truly i don’t get the humour in it at alllll. i literally felt pure embarrassment and just cringed multiple times really did feel like a teenage boy conversation.

OH MY GOD! i get u about the special interest thing, it’s literally why i made this blog. i’d say dont bother debating especially on twitter. no matter what you’ll say someone will have an offhand comment to say and its not worth it. whatever you think is right stick by that. but if u do debate please be mindful of everyone and how they feel.

i know im definitely not abandoning this blog or my interest im just gonna stay vigilant of what part of the band i am supporting, i support the music and the art they make and even some points matt’s made in the past have been really good!!. i just don’t support certain things mattys said or done before and now. i’ve been a fan for a long while so theres alot i’ve stuck through in terms of matty being stupid. getting flashbacks to 2021

anyways i say do what u personally think is right. just stay respectful and mindful of others in the process!

[ghost-of-the-machine]

or.. ill be upset about something else. i feel angry

i make too many excuses for everyone in my life. you ask them to walk all over you if it makes them feel better. i let you

im allowed to be a little spiteful, im allowed to be bitter!!!

its just. id say? bpd gives me the most problems like. even the whole. brain not put together thing is less cumbersome than that shit. what a painful way of life, so extreme and tiring.. it rips me apart and then puts me back together so suddenly, im high off the buzz until its ripped away from me again. thats how everything feels, it makes me want to just... sleep. for a very very long time

like most if not all disorders, its not my fucking fault i have to live like this, its theirs. im glad i was born... because i wouldnt be where i am now and i dont want to think about that. but? you couldnt have spared me a little time? ive been so violently aware of myself and all my flaws since i was little, like. LITTLE little. between offhand comments that i overanalyzed religiously and based my sense of self on, to just. being ALONE. that was no place for a kid to grow up. dark and dingy and cold and there was bugs everywhere and. there wasnt always someone to make food for me, i got food poisoning so many times cuz you cant let a fucking 7 year old cook for himself with no supervision? 'cook' is a generous word, id literally just grab cold shit from the fridge and eat it. several times i drank alcohol on accident cuz there was just water bottles full of alcohol left around my house. and lord, was it dirty.. not to mention the blood. and the violence, and screaming.. and they wonder why im the way i am now? i feel... ruined. it makes me angry. couldnt you have saved me from all of that? couldnt you have made it better for me? i was just a child, what could i have done? i did the most, though. put myself in front of others, learned to protect and . it was really naive of me, obviously these grown men arent scared of a little girl. but i tried, because everyone seemed like they needed someone to take care of them. i mean.. thats why they didnt take care of me, right? they needed it more! surely 💀

i got taken away by cps when i was really little, its one of my earliest memories. it was like a dream, every memory is like a dream to me.. but i remember that apparently, the agent on our case was corrupt or something, said we didnt have food when we did, etc and got us taken away on purpose. i think thats true, shes mentioned a case in the newspaper about it, but. my mom didnt want to give me up again. it took till i was about 8-9 before she finally sent me to live with my grandma again. maybe i wasnt there for very long, but... i am permanently altered 🥳🥳 YIPPIEEEE!!!!!

honestly it sucks. my dad is in jail where he belongs, ive never missed him a single day in my life, but.. i remember after, the only times id see my mom was brief visits at like. a facility. and i thought it was fun because there was places for me to play. it makes me.. really sad thinking about it now. i was about 4-5 around this time. idk. im not really angry anymore, im just sad now. i mean ill always be angry, but that just means ill always be sad too

so much... disruption. moving all over and leaving my friends behind, struggling to make new ones cuz . oh no1!1 that boy is developing attachment issues, i wonder where this will lead!!!! i latch on like a parasite to anyone i fall in love with, because im scared to be disrupted again. im scared itll be taken from me because everyone LOVES taking things away from me. my stability, my happiness, my family. my everything, just ripped away over and over again. no wonder bro doesnt know who he is!!!!!!!! what a waste.

[genderjeopardy]

This is a brief, kind of muddy and unreliable recollection of my coming out to my parents like an year ago so,

TW: transphobia, s**c*de mention

i still find it so incredibly funny that my parents waited MONTHS to have "The Talk" with me. when it happened, they started off by mentioning how they always noticed my "habits" (trying to grow my hair out, speaking in a higher pitched voice, using my mom's deodorant, etc.) but weren't explicit about their observations. they then reassured me that in that time period, they had became more "open-minded", "knew more about the world" and how they would accept me regardless of my "sexual orientation". me being me, i was obvs swept up in a newfound respect and love for my parents, and almost instantly decided to let go of any hatred or reservations about them that had been boiling inside me for quite some time.

alas, i made a terrible oversight and failed to pay close attention to their exact words. "Your sexual orientation". now, i dont and wont blame my parents for not being up-to-date with queer lingo, but the point remains that they were expecting me to tell them that i was like, idk, gay (mlm) or bi or wtv. at the end of the day, in their heads, i would still remain their son.

ofc, this realization sailed way over my head at that point in time. as a result of this, and me letting of my guard, i blurted out that i thought that i was maybe trans. like i just mentioned offhand about going to therapy to discuss abt my supposed dysphoria and wanting my parents to use my preferred pronouns.

as soon as i finished my sentence, i could just feel the entire mood in the room just do a full 180. my parents who were v committed to presenting a calm, rational aura till that moment, instantly gravitated to smtg closer to pure confoundment and, weirdly enough, grief (in retrospect this made way more sense). like i just told them their relative died or smtg. heads buried in hands, my father crudely commented abt me becoming one of the "psychopaths". mom just straight up warned me that she would end herself over this (i think this was just said out of frustration, but still), trying to talk while almost choking on her tears. it was rlly tough for me to process exactly what was transpiring but i subconsciously went from "open your heart out" mode to "damage control", reassuring my parents that i wasnt sure whether i was even trans, let alone ready and willing to socially and medically transition. the situation kind of came into more control from there, but the message was clear, from both sides. my parents knew that i was not "just gay", and i knew that my parents werent rlly approving of my potential transness.

from then on, i kind of subconsciously restricted myself; somewhat lowering my vocal pitch, not regularly shaving my facial and body hair, more compliant with my parents' requests to not let my hair grow too long (my mom would question me sometimes whether i was still considering "that thing" with the same tone one would use when discussing idk, a drug addiction).

i still like to think that its not rlly hatred, but just an apprehension of smtg alien, smtg so incredibly against everything that both my parents have been raised with. i still like to hope that maybe in the future, with time and effort from myself (in terms of understanding them and teaching them), things could very well change. but i also cant help but lie that obvs the things they said were hurtful. furthermore, my feelings abt my supposed transness have been way more inconsistent than what i'd hoped for. not regular enough for me to be confident that i desperately need to transition, but also not completely out of my mind to convince me that im cis. if i cant convince even myself, who am i to teach anyone else?

anyways, i just wanted to let it out for funsies, considering the wide (and funny) gulf between my parents working so hard to prepare themselves for me coming out as "gay", only for them to get blown away with a completely different concept.