#it wasn't really an *interview* interview. it was basically just the lead manager wanting to speak with me in person

[practically-an-x-man]

who's got a badass back tattoo and absolutely CRUSHED that interview?

This guy right here!

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #8

xxx forced to stay awake

"Do not let him sleep!" Louisa's voice, sounding strange and distant. It reminds River of the vinyl records he used to listen to with the OB as a kid, the really old ones that made his granddad get that wistful look on his face that disappeared again as soon as he caught River looking at him. Things were so much simpler back then. If he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend he's back there...

"Cartwright!" Lamb snaps, shaking him a little. "Do you want to be fired from the Service for good?"

In this moment, that actually doesn't sound like too much of a bad thing if River is being honest. He doesn't say so.

"That wasn't rhetorical." Lamb's voice is loud, sharp. "We both know how your last job interview went. No one that's any good'll take you, which means you'll be stuck behind a desk at some basic mid-level office job. Or maybe a private firm'll take you on, like your old pal Webb! Imagine working for those arseholes. Is that what you want?"

"No," River mutters.

"No? Then keep your fucking eyes open!"

River forces himself to comply. There's not much to look at, really: the back of the passenger seat; the blood on his hand; Jackson Lamb's knees; the back of Louisa's head and, when he lifts his gaze a little, a glimpse of her worried face in the rear-view. The inside of his eyelids offered a better view.

The car hits a bump, jolting him and ripping a cry from his throat as pain tears through his side and chest where the bullets had struck. His vision goes dark for a second, and then he's pulled back to awareness by the sound of Lamb's raised voice.

"Jesus Christ," he's saying. "Who taught you how to drive?"

"I'm sorry!" Louisa, voice pinched. "River, come on!"

River groans, and prying his eyelids apart is harder this time. Breathing is hard, too. Everything is hard.

"River, talk to me! You okay?" Louisa cries.

"Yup," River gasps. Another groan. "Hurts."

"I'll bet it does," Lamb says. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before running off on your own like a fucking dickhead, eh? Course, I thought the same thing the last two times you did it. It's like you never learn, no matter how many times I tell you to stop doing stupid shit."

"You can..." River really shouldn't be wasting his breath on this, but he can't help it. "You can lead a horse to water."

Lamb makes a noise that could be a snort of laughter or, more likely, he's hacking up something disgusting.

"I don't know that I could lead you fuck-ups to water if we were on a-a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific."

River tries to draw in another breath to respond, but his chest hitches and he lets out a wet cough. His mouth fills with the taste of iron and he almost gags, but coughs again instead, blood flecking his lips, and he just keeps coughing. Panic is creeping in, black dancing at the edges of his vision. He can't get enough air...

"Keep breathing," Lamb commands, his words filtering through the ringing in River's ears. The pressure he's been holding on the hole in River's chest increases as he tightens his grip.

He doesn't know how long it takes, it feels like a lifetime, but the coughing fit finally subsides. His chest is burning, head pounding. He can't catch his breath. And, more than anything else, he's so, so tired. It's a deep, heavy exhaustion. He just wants to sleep.

"Cartwright! You open your fucking eyes, now."

Fucking Lamb. Louisa is speaking too, but River can't discern the words. She's too far away. He suspects she wants him to stay awake too, though, damn her. Damn both of them.

"Now!" Lamb repeats, tapping River's face. "You hear me, Cartwright? That's an order. I know you're shit at following those, but you had better follow this one. Come on. Eyes open. If you won't do it for me, do it for Guy. You saw what happened after Min. What do you think'll happen if you die in her backseat?"

That sparks something, the faintest bit of anger, and River's eyes open a little. He doesn't know how he manages it.

He doesn't know if he'll manage it again.

xxx

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S07E03

Okay, it didn't have the dynamic that most of us tune in for but it wasn't bad. I didn’t like the AI b plot and that’s coming from a person who is not fully anti AI. Wherever one might stand on the issue, what's completely unrealistic is that for a machine to be trained to “think like a cop”, you have to throw so much money at it that the SJPD would have a hole in their budget for the foreseeable future.

Joe thinks he's going fishing. You shouldn't have brought Rex with you, buddy. He will manage to find a body somehow.

Charlie: *calls* Sarah: *drops everything, literally* (That was really funny.)

Damn, Charlie’s brother disappeared in Mexico? And Charlie is down there being a cowboy? I bet the federales will love that. (I know we won’t get to see it but I’d have loved to.)

I did not expect I’d have to worry about Jack’s safety this season, by the way. I hope the writers don’t come up with any stupid ideas like killing him.

Charlie and Sarah said I love you over the phone. This time not while one of them was undercover. That’s some improvement.

I think we could all tell that that’s not Diesel. Again, I wish I was ten years old so that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

I like Sarah as an investigator. And Sarah with a badge. And Sarah interrogating.

Had to google Elisha Cuthbert. Jennifer Garner, I know, obviously.

Don’t make fun of Jesse having an AI girlfriend. Do you have any idea how many real men are dealing with this right now? Actually, forget the men. I read in a NY Times article about a woman who is spending $200 per month to have her own AI boyfriend via ChatGPT. And I understand this only a bit more than the men who do it because an AI boyfriend can't murder you. Yet.

If they want to get the AI to do something useful, by the way, why not train it to be able to translate dog barks? And all the profanity that is the result of Rex often being unable to get his humans to understand exactly what he means.

That St. Pierre seems like Gotham 2. St. John's is obviously Gotham 1. I guess it’s a better place to make a crime show than I thought.

If they keep going with the use of orange, I’m going to start confusing this show with NCIS.

I know the guy that plays the chef from so many things.

Silicon Sherlock. Good one.

Sarah said what I've been thinking, that Jesse is basically training the AI that could replace his own damn job.

Sarah Truong, shaking hands and kissing babies. Well, just the hands for now. Like, a lot. Cops might shake hands on occasion but when you enter an unknown situation and you don’t know who you’re dealing with, you need to have your gun hand free. In a murder investigation, it's quite possible that one of the people you're interviewing is a killer. Again, one thing that I assume at one point was taught to John Readon for his role (I’ve seen Charlie refusing handshakes plenty) but not the others? I don't want to be unfair, he’s probably shaken some hands too but a) he’s left handed so his gun hand is his left hand, most people shake hands with their right hand, b) they go out of their way to show Sarah initiating the handshake, which… I guess they’re trying to make her seem friendly? As a female cop, it’s the last thing she needs. She’s already being perceived as less of a threat due to gender stereotyping, stature and musculature.

Dogs can't eat raw oysters but raw meat is fine? Interesting. I wonder what the verdict is on sushi.

Covid? There must be a mistake, sir, we never had Covid in this world.

I don’t know if in an episode where your lead investigator is absent you should be passing throughout the whole episode the messaging that an AI can do a lot of the investigative work that a human does. And then at the end of said episode, announcing, without much reason for it since you don't show the AI making any mistakes, that investigations are a human's job when at least half your show is about a dog having a significant role in every investigation.

I’m confused as to where the morgue is. And what kind of morgue is just an empty room with a gurney in the middle. Also, it's good that they realized that they needed an ME or an assistant or whatever, otherwise they'd have Sarah do the testing part and monologue the findings to herself.

I thought the son had done the murder and then turns out that almost everyone of the suspects was involved in the murder one way or another. But I was right.

There was an ad on my episode copy about pizza. Don’t show me the pizza if I can’t get the pizza.

Charlie and Sarah's house seems... kinda huge? From the outside, anyway. I'm not sure where all these rooms are on the inside lol

I honestly can’t judge this episode harshly because I can imagine them trying to come up with ideas with John Reardon being unavailable and I also wonder how much of that also had to do with them not showing Diesel much. I don’t mean that Diesel couldn’t work with the others, maybe they took it as an opportunity to rest Diesel and use some of the younger dogs more since that level of chemistry that John Reardon has with Diesel wouldn't be there either way.

For me, it is pointless to compare the dogs. We knew that if the show goes on long enough, the time would come where Diesel would be shown less and eventually be replaced. I've gone through this many times now so for me it's not something new or unnatural. As a kid I didn't notice, but by the time I got to the Italian Rex episodes, I was old enough to easily tell the difference between the dogs (plus, sometimes they didn't even bother to find one that looked like the previous one). It won't be easy to find another Diesel, though.

Two things I would have liked to see: Rex reacting to Charlie's absence. I mean, when Sarah was away, Rex took her shirt. When Jesse was shot, Rex sat mournfully under his desk. When Joe was going on vacation, Rex hid his suitcase to prevent him from leaving. I was expecting something on that front. And the other is related to that, I was expecting Rex to run to the phone at the sound of Charlie's voice in the end scene. Instead, he seemed... preoccupied with the puffin plushie. Either they didn't even sit down to think how Charlie's absence would affect Rex, at least when he wasn't working because we've established that Rex is a very professional dog, or they didn't have time to train the dog to do these things. I don't know which one it is, so I can't really fault them for that.

Next phone call better be Charlie asking Sarah what she’s wearing. (I will continue being delusional, don’t mind me.)

The situation regarding episode info is chaotic. And I’d very much like to know who adds the information on IMDb because while they seem to be from the production (all the information about guest stars has been accurate), they don’t seem to know when and in which order the episodes will air. Meanwhile, other websites which are usually more accurate, are also wrong.

Promo: So the next one is not the bee episode? I don’t get it. This episode has already changed number twice. Also, looks like Charlie is going to be searching for his brother for the foreseeable future.

[studywgabi]

I'm a Method Cashier!

And this was a role I could really sink my teeth into.

Okay, so, first of all, to work at Store there are 2 online applications, an online training course, 3 questionnaires for your references to fill out, 3 interviews (2 alone and 1 group), a background check, an unpaid 4-hr. orientation, a drug test, a pacer test, a polygraph test administered by an F.B.I. agent (and not like the sexy ones on Criminal Minds), a blood oath, and you have to be able to put on lipstick like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club. Jesus, there are less requirements to be elected president. And a cult wouldn't make you jump through this many hoops to join.

My Marketable Skills: I'm a warm body and I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to say "we should hang out outside of work" to my coworkers or mouth off to the customers. Basically, you should hire me because you could do a whole lot worse.

But I couldn't just say that. I couldn't just be honest. It had to be, with tears glistening in my eyes: "It has been my lifelong dream to be a cashier at Store. Cashiering is my passion. I have 3 Ph.D.s in Applied Cashiering, Cashiering Theory, and Experimental Cashiering from Harvard University's School of Cashiering, and I completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Oxford University's St. Cashier Cashiering College. I have 97 years of experience in the field."

So, I get there, for the first interview, in my silly little outfit, mostly stolen from my mom's closet. I walk in and say excuse me to the first employee I see. She clutches her chest, looks bewildered, and says "excuse me" back.

Gabi, apprehensively: "Hi, I'm here for an interview, could I speak to a manager please?"

Employee #1, startled: "Yeah." She walks off and I assume I'm meant to follow her.

My dead name sounds vaguely similar to the name of a character from a classic poem you read the Wikipedia summary of in ninth grade English class. The first five letters are the same, but the character's name ends with an a, and mine with an e. Anyway, while we were walking, we introduced ourselves and she said, and I've never have cause to use the word "chortling" before, but if there was ever a time, it was then, "Well, your mother must have been a big The Poet fan, huh?" (as if I've never heard that one before). I mustered a polite chuckle and said nothing.

Employee #1, sneering: "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Gabi, wishing for death: "No, I know the poem."

Employee #1, under her breath: "Big deal."

The rest of the walk is silent. We turn a corner and see a boy about my age. She starts calling his name, he fully makes eye contact with her, and then turns and speedwalks away. She keeps calling after him and picks up the pace to reach him, but he outruns her. No need to watch the documentary through your fingers, the antelope is safe this time. It turns out he wasn't even the manager, because I meet her next. The interview goes okay and I get the second one. I ask a different employee this time. She says into her walkie-talkie, "Anthony, Gabriella is here for an interview, do you want to deal with that?"

Anthony comes be-bopping up to me at 1,000 mph. When he's still several aisles away, he calls out "Hi, Friend!!" in an acoustic guitar-playing, jeans-wearing youth pastor voice. He leads me to the office, racing down the aisles like there's an serial killer revving a chainsaw behind him, and by the time I catch up in my pencil skirt and heels, I'm panting and sweating. Maybe this is part of the interview: seeing if you can keep up metaphorically and literally. The weakest shall be sacrificed.

Tony asks me, not why I want to work at Store, but why I want to work in general, as if earning money to eat is a casual hobby, like knitting. He asks me if I've applied anywhere else, like Store is a jealous girlfriend. Then he asks me if I have any questions, and I know you're supposed to have something, so I pull a couple out my ass. After he answers them, he asks if I have any more, and, thinking I'm out of the woods, I say not for now.

Anthony, ominously: "You sure?" Slowly pan back to Gabi.

Gabi, brightly: "I'm sure I'll have more during orientation if I'm hired, but I think I'm covered for now. Thank you!"

(Beat.) Anthony: "Well, you know, I'm just gonna give you some advice: you really should have more questions. But don't worry, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you a little bit more about how the Store family does things."

45 minutes later, he asks for a third set of questions, and then, believe or not, a fourth. Sir, this is my interview. You're not a celebrity guest on The Fucking Tonight Show. If you're so desperate for me to ask you questions, why don't you apply to this job? Or do like the rest of us and pretend you're on Ricki Lake talking about how brave you are to share the story of your divorce from Tim McGraw and how it inspired your new album, "Warm Regards, Gabi," currently topping the country charts while you shampoo your hair.

Three business days later, my email: "Congratulations! You have been selected to join the Store Family! Please report for orientation next Wednesday at noon."

Another day, another dollar.

[gojuo]

Gojo has his head. In season 2 he tells toji he failed to kill him because he didn't cut off his head. Sukuna didn't cut off his head. He can still heal his body.

Plus we see Nanami tell gojo that there are two paths. One to change you or one to stay who you are. Gojo says goodbye to his dead friends and we see him walk away showing he's taking the second path. We also see a lotus then.

Which symbols strength and renewal.

Gojo is not dying. He may be gone a few chapters but everything his hunting he will heal his body and be back.

Gojo will live.

i wish i had your hopium but i gotta correct a few things here ... 1) it was said by i think kashimo (i dont even remember) that cursed energy comes from the gut, and gojo has been split into two from his stomach. toji never bisected him, even if he managed to stab him through the cranium. 2) gojo didn't say goodbye to his friends in the afterlife, that was a mistranslation. 3) he's not walking away from anything either ?? 4) the chapter title is called "going south" bruh...

listen. i so badly want him to come back. i really fucking do. i read jjk 0 when it came out in jump giga in 2017 and when it wasn't called jjk yet (it was called tokyo metropolitan curse technical school btw). i've been with gojo since mfing 2017... 2017!!! i've loved him for over 6 years now i can't even believe it's been so long.. i never expected that silly oneshot manga to become this popular 🥹 kinda makes me happy how loved jjk is currently :')))) but the fact of the matter is that gege has stated numerous times that he wants to finish jjk soon. he actually stated in late 2022 that he was planning on finishing it in 2023. gege's editor has come out and said that the manga will not be ending this year though, so my guess is somewhere around spring 2024 everything will be wrapped and and be donezo so that gege can move on to that goddamn idol manga he's been yapping about for a while now. so what am i trying to say with this tangent? i'm saying that jjk is ending soon and that gege has stated multiple times how difficult it was for him to write around the powerhouse that is gojo (which is just an admission of his own shitty writing/planning because mf YOU 🫵 are the writer like you are the one that created him!!! learn how to plan out your story and how to utilize the characters you yourself have created for it you stupid fucking cat i swear to god....). this all just screams to me that it's over. it's finished. gojo already died once and came back enlightened, he's not gonna have it a second time. not this close to the end. not after having been removed from the narrative for over a hundred chapters. not after seeing sukuna back at full health in his heian era form, something gege didn't even have gojo force out of him. like gege really got him out of the box so that he could be done with him unarguably and conclude his character arc because he wants to finish jjk.

gojo is dead, nobara is for sure dead, megumi is basically done for (we'll see him once more within the mind once yuuji does his soul cursed technique whatever bullshit on sukuna to have a talk but he's not coming back no more), and yuuji, the kid whose execution started this story, will be the only one left alive. gege said in an interview a while ago that he wanted to end jjk with either 1 of the main 4 dead, or only 1 of the main 4 alive. i think it's pretty obvious that person is supposed to be yuuji. "die surrounded by your friends" from the first chapter is going to turn into "all your dead friends will surround you". i am wholeheartedly convinced of this. i'm sorry, but after 3 years of having to sit through that worthless culling game arc leading to absolutely nowhere for our heroes, after realizing that there will never be a pay off for the last 100+ chapters because the whole point of the arc is now fucking dead just like that, i do not have it in me to have any faith nor hope in gege's writing skills. it's become painfully clear to me how mid that guy is at writing and how hard he is rushing towards the end. i have lost all faith and goodwill i used to hold for gege.

[severeprincesheep]

This guy's story has really stuck in my head, partly because we share so many of the same symptoms, but also because of his shocking experience with a doctor.

He suffered from an anal fistula and other colon problems like that. His doctor told him it was essentially an incurable disease, where the solution isn't really a solution as much as just swapping the problem you have for another problem that is slightly more tolerable to live with, albeit still a nightmare: you have multiple surgeries and lose your bowel function and have to wear an ostomy for the rest of your life. All of this is super expensive, too.

He thought he might as well do a carnivore diet during the weeks leading up to the surgery and all his symptoms cleared up completely. His doctor had him do an MRI that confirmed he was totally normal.

Then he received a call from his doctor's receptionist cancelling their appointment because he didn't need surgery anymore; and telling him that from now on he should just check with his GP.

Any doctor that has dedicated his life to doing the best he can for patients with this condition would be very intrigued with someone who managed to cure himself through a simple diet. He would be looking into that protocol and testing it on his patients. My conclusion is that his lack of curiosity is due to him already knowing very well that the carnivore diet heals this supposedly incurable disease, and that he doesn't want to heal his patients but rather just to exploit them.

This guy says something very much along those lines, namely that he realized at that moment that he and other patients are nothing more than cash cows for these people (doctors).

This is the reality we live in. If you want to save yourself from going through a similar experience you must eat a carnivore diet.

Bellow I wrote the transcript of this part of the interview, about 15 minutes in, where he describes how the autoimmunity that runs in his family manifested itself in his case:

Pete: For me it seems to have manifested in gut issues, which I've only really become aware of in the last year when I've looked at help from a doctor for that. (…) I do suffer from gut inflammation that leads to further side effects (…) the growth of abcesses and boils down in that area; which themselves lead to further complications that led to a pretty severe case of anal fistula.

I'm not sure if your viewers are aware of that condition, you can look it up on Google but it's a terrible condition where the body forms its own tracks to the bowel. So basically these internal tracks form around the bowel opening and they're incurable by all medical accounts. Surgery is the only answer. (…)

I got very tired of having to suffer with the pain and the flareups involved in this condition (…) I'll say that was also part of the motivation to try carnivore, because of the healing experience that I heard other people go through. (…)

The flareups got bad enough for me to see a surgeon this year who diagnosed me with pretty much the most serious condition that this can be, a complex transin teral fistula, where the track actually crosses the bowel. So there's a very slim chance of this surgery even being successful and there's a high probability of losing bowel function and (…) wearing an ostomy for the rest of my life and that was motivation enough to go 'I need to do something here' (…)

So I had this terrible diagnosis, he even said to me 'I'm sending you off for an MRI here, I normally don't send my patients off for MRIs but yours is so severe that we're going to have to get an MRI" which I dutifully did and it wasn't cheap. I got the MRI, waited a month with a lot of anxiety during that month, thinking of the worst, imagining the field surgeries. I had an appointment due with him and I got a call from his receptionist saying 'The doctor doesn't want to see you, everything is normal, just go ahead and see your GP for management from now on'.

And I almost dropped the phone, because (…) it was great news but it's like 'Hang on, I have a serious medical condition here, how can you build me up like that and then f it off in a phone call from your receptionist?

It really hit me hard. I was shocked.

Dave: That seems like a very kind of blasé way of - I mean, it's great news, but a very kind of 'Okay, go away now' kind of attitude, right?

Pete: It was shocking. This condition, anyone else that may have experienced it knows that there are usually multiple surgeries required to fix the situation. It's hard to heal in an area like the bowel for obvious reasons. It's just not a sterile place, it doesn't heal very well. I don't want to get too pessimistic or skeptical here but people with this condition are basically money printing machines to these surgeons because they know that it's going to take multiple hits under the knife to get it fixed and each surgery is upwards of 8.000 dollars. His main concern was my private health situation. He was still mid examination and he was bringing up private health status. You're a walking dollar sign to these people.

I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone in the medical field here but that's how I feel. As soon as you're not a commodity you're out the door."

[empyreumata]

Weaver, Caroline. "On Closing." CW Pencil Enterprise. September 8, 2021.

Back in July, after months of trying to work my head around the challenges I'm currently facing in my business, I made the decision to close this shop. To be totally honest, it wasn't a decision, it was a reality that I've been too afraid to face for the past two years. It's a loss that can no longer be avoided, and one I am feeling deeply. One of the things I've had a hard time coming to grips with is that there's not a lot of grey area when it comes to public perception when a business closes. You either stay open because you're successful, or you close because you've failed.

What I've been thinking about a lot is: Maybe not all businesses are meant to last forever. Maybe it's not a failure, it's just the end of a project. The difficult truth is that it's next to impossible to run a retail business with integrity in a world that's polluted with Amazon boxes. There shouldn't be any shame in deciding that it's not worth the fight anymore.

By the time we close our doors in November, it will be 7 years since cwpencils.com first went online as the world's most extensive pencil specialty shop. I'd quit my job at a lingerie shop to pursue this impossible dream, even though no matter how many times I crunched the numbers on how many pencils I needed to sell, it just didn't make sense. And that was fine, because I had a feeling that somehow it would work, and I was 23 and had the moxie to trust my gut and just go for it.

I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate friends and family when the website went live or when the physical shop opened because I just really believed that, “if you build it they will come,” and I wanted others to discover it on their own. Within months, and in a tiny $1,800/month shoebox on Forsyth Street, CW Pencil Enterprise quickly grew from a one-woman show into a much more complicated operation. At that point, I had an interview scheduled with a national publication or news outlet almost every week, having put $0 into marketing or PR. It was clear that my strategy of leading with earnestness had paid off in a way that I was not at all prepared for.

The thing about growth is that sometimes it's not measured or strategized, that sometimes it happens because it just does, and you have to figure out how to ride the wave and keep your head above water. Never in a million years did I think things would turn out as they did. Seven years, two books, a much bigger shop and a global pandemic later, it feels as though I just recently found my footing and the mental space to step back and understand what this shop evolved into while I was busy just trying to keep up.

Even though I've made some unwise business decisions and haven't always known what I was doing, I've always trusted my gut and I've always insisted on doing things with as much integrity as I could manage, whether it was in sourcing products or making decisions as a boss. My employees have always been paid a living wage, with healthcare benefits and paid time off for full-time staff. We believe in things like taking mental health days, talking through our problems and making sure that everyone has what they need. I'm definitely not a perfect boss, and I'm not saying all of this as a pat on the back to myself -- I'm saying it because these things should be basic rights at a job, and because I'm angry that they're not. And while so many business owners choose to prioritize doing the right thing and then struggle to survive, others take advantage of loopholes and get away with a bare minimum that should be criminal.

Running a shop during a pandemic has been a real test of resilience and decision-making. Never has my job been harder, but never have I felt such overwhelming gratitude for the community that has formed around this business. The support we've received has been immense, and the engagement we've had through Instagram and projects like actionable letter-writing and pen pal matching has been great fun to share with you. I've long felt icky about traditional tactics to increase sales and am exhausted by the conflict between doing what's necessary to meet the financial needs of my business and doing things purely to engage, inspire and help others. However, the unfortunate truth is that running a shop is not a public service, and popularity doesn't pay the bills.

Please, do your very best to support the businesses in your own community. When you need to buy something, do you try to buy it from a local store before purchasing it online or through a corporate behemoth? If the answer is no, I implore you to do better if the resources are available to you. It's easy to say that you support small businesses, but in practice, do you actually?

To all of our customers and friends: THANK YOU, for making this dream a reality for so many years. For enabling me to provide a place for others to work and thrive. For teaching us all what it's like to be part of a community that really cares. I am in awe of what we've made together.

And as for me, it really feels like the right time to move on. I've spent the past seven years becoming an expert in something I cared deeply about, and while that's been the most rewarding experience of my life, I've always known that I wouldn't do the same job forever. I'm ready for a new adventure, and feel as though I have so much more to give, learn and share.

With love and appreciation,  CW

[hey-kae]

Home is Perfect Starts

Part one of the “Home is…” series.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x singer!female reader

Request: read here

Warnings: language, sexual jokes, some smut.

a/n: okay so the request was for one imagine but this has turned into a series because there are so many scenes i wanna include what would have left us with a fic of 20k+ words so i decided to divide it. Really hoping the person who requested this doesn’t mind.

Just a year ago, you would've never imagined that life would somehow lead you to move to Monaco with the person you were quite sure you'd spend the rest of your life with, both of you looking with so much optimism towards a future that seemed so bright and perfect, slowly building a life together that you two knew you'd pick over anything and everything at any given space and time.

Around two years ago, you were sat unassumingly under the hot stage lights of yet another interview studio, the interviewer across from you asking prying questions and giving you curious looks like she was desperate for you to spill everything you have ever kept a secret about your life into the little microphone clipped onto your shirt. In reality, she wouldn't have exactly minded you giving her exclusive details about the private matters you kept to yourself but she was also aware that such occurrence was practically impossible, not with the intensive media training you had undergone, not with your manager backstage, not with your instance that your private life would always stay private no matter how much you fame might grow. However, her knowing all that didn't really mean that she wouldn't try to throw in the bait and hope for a scoop or some grand story she'd get to take credit for.

The loud cheers of the small crowd as the show resumed airing had alerted you back to reality, the host almost immediately announcing the start of "the fan favorite part of the show, a quick game of Would You Rather."

Fast forward a few questions that seemed eerily safe, you had been met with the one question that had gotten a laugh out of the audience.

"Would you rather skip a relative's wedding or miss a Formula 1 Grand Prix?" The interviewer had asked with a cheeky smile that had perfectly showed that she already knew the story.

"Oh God..." you had kept a smile but looked away for a second, a blush spreading over your cheeks in memory of that day, "How did you find out about this?" A perfectly timed chuckle had escaped your lips as you pushed your hair over your shoulders elegantly.

"We have our ways."

"Oh, quite mysterious!" You laughed a bit, "Alright, alright. Here's the full story but before anyone decides to judge, l ended up not missing any of the two, by the way! This was a few years ago so i was considerably young but... yeah, there was a race on the same day as a family member's wedding. It was a championship decider basically and i really wanted to see who would end up winning so i tried sweet talking my parents out of taking me to the wedding, even tried playing sick but it didn't work out. So, after a big argument with my mom, i ended up going but i'm a girl who has her priorities set straight so naturally, i stayed glued to my phone all the ceremony, what got me a lot of disapproving glares, not gonna lie. And i remember it so clearly, but my favorite driver ended up crashing out during the vows so -god, this is embarrassing- i was literally crying and everyone around me thought i had gotten emotional over what the bride was saying when, obviously, that wasn't the case." You had finished the story with an embarrassed nod and pursed lips.

The following question was one you had cautiously answered.

"Do we get to know your favorite team?"

"Well, everybody's a Ferrari fan. Right?" You quoted Sebastian Vettel with a smug smile since you knew only F1 fans would catch the reference.

How that little statement and a few unconvered pictures of younger you watching races, all decked out in Ferrari merchandise, ended up with you being invited to the Ferrari hospitality at the Italian Grand Prix, your name on the pass hanging around your neck being "Charles Leclerc guest 3" was something you still couldn't wrap your head around.

When your manager had informed you of the invite, you wouldn't have ever assumed that you were invited by the driver himself, not the team so naturally, seeing his name on the pass was a shock, especially given the fact that the two of you had never interacted in the past aside from the follows you had exchanged on instagram after that interview.

During that race weekend, the tension between the two of you had debuted. You had ended up with him in a flaming red Ferrari, helmet on and filming a hot laps video around the track.

You were a bit shy by nature, especially around people you were undeniably attracted to and while locked into the car with you, Charles was quick to take notice of that. It had boosted his ego and therefore his confidence, encouraging him to push the car to its utmost limits, drifting it through the corners and letting the tires screech as they struggled against the black asphalt.

However, the precise moment where the two of you figured there might be something more to the instant connection you had formed was when he noticed how unaffected by the speed you were, cheering him on as he drove instead of freaking out like he had seen in the hot laps videos he had binge watched to know what to expect.

"Oh, come on! I have to find a way to get some screams out of you!" The monégasque spoke before thinking, stepping harder onto the gas pedal as the car shot down a straight, only to realize the double meaning of his words when he saw you struggling to hold in your laughter, your cheeks blushing a deep shade of red before finally allowing yourself to laugh, deeming your attempt to neutralize your reaction as a failure.

Charles absolutely loved your reaction to the dirtier side of his words. Something about the sound of your laugh had caged in his heart, leaving him to grin at you like he could see the future. Likewise, something about the way he had looked at you while you laughed, his eyes glistening in the sun told you he'd be someone special in your life.

While he was still grinning, he worked some buttons on his steering wheel then he drove the car in donuts as you giggled, genuinely enjoying the experience, loving the speed and the smell and sound of the tires.

To your surprise, Charles' comment about getting you to scream wasn't cut out of the video. In fact, it became the star of it. It was actually the spark that ignited the fire between the two of you, especially when that little interaction, more specifically your reactions to it caused fans to ship the two of you.

After that day, you had contacted Charles to thank him for the invite and the experience and that ended up in a meetup then another then another and soon enough the meetups turned into dates then secret getaways. Barely any additional time passed before you found yourself calling Charles Leclerc your boyfriend.

Almost instantly, you started getting spotted sneaking around with him wether it was around paddocks, backstage at your shows, around Monaco or from your tourbus. The first video that went viral and made it harder to play off the rumors was one of Charles in a VIP box at your concert, singing along to practically every song, assuming people hadn't spotted him. The relationship became impossible to hide so, naturally, you went public with a video of him visiting you on tour, playing the piano backstage at one of the arenas to help you rehearse a song. The short clip quickly became a fan favorite to yours and Charles' relief.

The special and wholesome nature of your relationship left you so scared that your schedules would ruin it for the two of you at some point. You loved each other to death. You texted and called and facetimed each other endlessly but it was undeniable that it wasn't exactly normal for a couple to see each other less than once per month sometimes.

Eventually, it became an issue.

Eventually, both of you started realizing that the relationship was being built on texting, calls and facetimes. Not an ideal base in any way.

Eventually, you found yourself locked up in your tourbus, on a video call with Charles who was alone in his driver's room after a qualifying session that hadn't gone exactly well, the both of you choked up with the fear that the rough patch might just be the end of everything.

"It doesn't feel like a relationship anymore." He had said, his eyes dazed as he bit onto his lips from the anxiety the conversation was giving him.

"I know." You had answered with defeat, your eyes tearing up while imagining where this could go.

It terrified you when silence took over after the small sentence.

"I don't want to break up." Charles' voice was shaking as he said that.

"Me neither." The reply was instinctive.

There was close to nothing you wouldn't do to save the relationship.

Charles looked relieved, the next words leaving his mouth with so much ease, it made it obvious he's thought about them before, "We should move in together."

He had studied your reaction to his words so intensely, fearing that he was asking for too much.

"I would love it if you moved in with me. Actually, i want a fresh start with you, a new place that would be just ours, our own little world, an escape from everything. Monaco doesn't even feel like home anymore, the apartment doesn't feel like home anymore. There's always something missing and I'm pretty sure it's you... and i know it won't solve everything but at least we'll get to come home to each other, spend our breaks by each other's side instead of wasting days trying to decide who is flying to who or where to meet up. I just want to wake up next to you, see your stuff next to mine, fall asleep with you sleeping on my chest. I want to hear your presence nearby so life doesn't feel so lonely anymore."

You had stared at the screen for a long time, imagining every word he had said.

The house you owned was already far from your friends and family so moving a bit further wouldn't change a thing. Plus, you loved Monaco and could see yourself living there, especially if Charles was involved in those plans.

It barely took any further thoughts for you to nod with a smile, Charles leaning backwards in his seat in relief.

That weekend, Charles took the track and you took the stage with so much energy and positivity, everyone you both worked with had noticed it.

—

That is how you ended up watching an extremely confused Charles from your seat on the countertop as he tried to figure out the correct ingredients for a cake, a swipe of flour covering his cheek, a frown on his face and a bandana pushing back his hair.

After an extensive apartment-hunting week in Monaco, the two of you finally found a place to call home, a shared apartment that would be your shelter from the your hectic lives outside. It was perfect, overlooking the harbor, cozy but elegant and perfectly suited for both your tastes.

"Charles, let me help you." You suggested for the third time, a smile on your lips as you took in how adorably cute your boyfriend currently looked, an extremely confused expression furrowing his brows.

"No, baby. You already did the pizza dough." He nodded towards the oven where the pizza was being baked,  "I want to make you something myself, a small welcome to Monaco, you know?" He grinned up at you, looking away from his phone where he was googling easy cake recipes.

Sighing in defeat, you relaxed against the wall behind you and preoccupied yourself with admiring Charles while he moved, more like fidgeted, around your shared kitchen.

After the long day of cleaning, unpacking, organizing and reorganizing, it was finally starting to sink in that this is your home with the person you wanted to spend all your days with, the same person that you had been barely able to see for the whole year the two of you had been dating. Now, in a very contrasting turn of events, you got to call him home.

Smiling at the thought, you exhaled out loud in content.

"What is it?" Charles glanced at you, smiling himself when he saw how much you looked at peace.

"Fuck...we actually live together, Charles." It came out as a chuckle that made him grin widely at you.

"Doesn't feel real yet."

You hopped off the counter and crossed the kitchen towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist while he was still facing the other way.

"It doesn't feel real but it definitely feels perfect."

Charles smiled at your statement, pulling you around and caging you between his body and the counter, a mindless smile still on his face as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a messy, playful kiss.

This was all new. Sure, you've been dating for a while but you never got the opportunity to kiss just because you felt like it, nor playfully and casually since your time together was always brief, always limited, making the kisses either heated or rushed but now, his lips were moving against yours so softly, almost delicately, his tongue lightly grazing against yours as you discovered new sides of each other.

His hands moved up, one resting gently on your neck as the other caressed your cheek just as you felt him smile into the kiss.

"Welcome home, baby." He pulled back and grinned at you, his dimples on full display and his eyes sparkling as if your heart needed more reasons to race. It was at times like this when you realized how much you loved him, at times when he felt so surreal but so yours.

You smiled at him and rested your head on his shoulder, your fingers tracing small patterns on the fabric of his shirt as he stared down at you with an adorable expression on his face, the small smile never falling off his face as he rubbed his hand on your back, feeling you relax into his touch.

"You're gonna let me help you with the cake so we can... do other things?" The question was delivered along with a soft kiss onto his neck then another one under his ear, "Or, you could welcome me with something other than a cake." You put as much distance between the two of you as was possible in this position so you could eye his reaction.

Charles was looking at you with raised eyebrows, amused eyes and a slightly tilted head.

"No, baby. Trust me, you're getting that kind of welcome and okay, maybe we can forget the cake but we're going to eat," he lifted you to sit on the counter, pushing himself between you legs, his lips immediately finding your slightly exposed shoulder, "because i'm done rushing."

Charles brushed your hair behind your ears, his eyes locking with yours for a second before he kissed you again, slow and determined like he was proving a point.

"I'm taking my time with you tonight, baby."

With that final statement and a peck to your neck, he walked away, grabbing the oven mittens to check on the food, only looking back at you for a second to give you one of his signature winks along with a smirk.

"Fuck, Charles... the food won't run away." You complained and received a declining sound from Charles as he took out the pizza, placed it on the counter and began cutting it.

To be fair, the food looked really good.

"Fine." You groaned and headed to the cupboards that had the plates and grabbed two, placing them neatly on the table in the dining room before going back to grab knives and forks, crossing Charles who was carrying the tray of food to the table.

After some minor last touches, the two of you sat to eat, genuinely happy in the simplicity of each other's company in a place that actually felt yours.

Charles seemed to be really excited about just having you by his side as he does things as simple as eating dinner. He was trying hard to balance eating and talking as he rushed stories of his childhood memories in this city that now you too called home.

"It's tiny, i know, but you'll love it here. I promise." He beamed at you as he ate his last bite, brushing his hands together to shake the flour remainings off.

"I know, i love it here already. You -i don't know how to say it- You're just so much happier, i guess, when you're in Monte Carlo. That alone is enough for me to love it." You replied as you too finished eating, catching Charles looking at you in a way that never failed to make you blush.

Following that, you headed back to the kitchen to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher when a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, lifting you off the ground and walking off to the bedroom with you hoisted over his shoulder.

"Charles, i can walk, you know?"

"Well, not for long."

"Charles!" You squealed as he put you down on the bed and climbed on top of you, giggling and tickling your sides.

"We finally live together." He reminded you with so much excitement as he kissed your face, the both of you chuckling until his lips found yours, effectively changing the whole vibe, the kiss being hungry and needy this time.

"I love you so much." You breathed out the words as things escalated, Charles now fiddling with the back of your bra to get it off while his other hand toyed with your clit and his mouth sucked a hickey onto your neck.

"I love you too, so much." He said the words back just as he felt you grind down on his hand, wanting more.

"Just one second, baby." He assured you, kissing your forehead before tossing away the bra and making sure your panties quickly followed it before his head was between your thighs, his tongue working its magic on your clit. He had you arching your back within less than a minute, you hands moving down to tangle themselves in his hair only to find the material of his bandana slightly limiting the easy access. You mindlessly got rid of it, allowing your fingers to comfortably disappear between his locks as his hand held your other one tightly.

He made you cum multiple times with his fingers and mouth all while giving you small encouraging remarks until you were begging him to just fuck you, and he did.

"Your wishes are my command, angel." He had said before he slipped inside of you, making love to you soft and slow, his body as connected to yours as was possible, his lips never breaking contact with yours, muffling both of your moans while your arms remained wrapped around him, needing to feel him close to you, his skin against yours in such vulnerable moments.

Soon enough, your body shuddered beneath his and you let go, feeling the pressure exploding in your veins, Charles' release quickly following yours.

"Fuck, living with you might be the best thing to ever happen to me." He had said from beside you, still panting after his orgasm, his body glistening with a thin layer of sweat, his cheeks flushed and his lips plump from all the kissing. His arm was stretched out under your head, pulling you to him as you chuckled from his revelation.

"I always knew you were dating me for the sex, Leclerc." You had attempted to joke but Charles took it a bit seriously.

"Ah, tais toi!" Oh, shut up! He pulled you closer so your head was laying on his chest, his hand softly moving around the small of your back, "You know you're so much more than that, right? I mean, you have got to know because, quite honestly, the times we had sex in the past year can literally be counted and that wouldn't make sense but it's not even that. I love you so much, baby. Like, i don't know, i can't even really explain it but... but, yeah, i love you for so many things that are way more meaningful than sex." He went on a rant, wanting to prove you wrong.

"Baby, relax! I was only joking." You giggled, looking up at him, switching positions so you were laying on your stomach, half of your body on top of his as you reached up and cupped his face, moving your thumb softly along his cheek. Charles instinctively leaned into your touch, his eyes closing.

"Still... i don't like hearing you say that."

You nodded and gave him a soft kiss on the chest then dismissed the subject, getting up and putting on your underwear back on along with his shirt, causing him to grin like a lovesick teenager.

You smiled back at him and grabbed his arm to try to pull him out of bed.

"C'mon. We're gonna do some skin care." You proposed but his reaction contradicted yours as he groaned in complaint.

"Please..." you whined, grasping his hands tighter and pouting.

"Oh, no. Don't give me that face!"

"Charles, s'il te plais." please. You brought out one of the very few french expressions you knew, making him raise his eyebrows and giggle before his hand rubbed over his face.

His body relaxed and he allowed you to pull him up into a standing position, the french trick working like always. It reminded you that you needed to try learning the language again.

"Merci, baby." You smiled at him as he put on some boxers, fake glaring up at you through his lashes from his hunched position as you made your way to the bathroom but, as you expected, he was quick to follow you.

Charles watched as you laid out the various products you used usually before pulling out two headbands and turning to face him, moving closer to his body to push the hair out of his face with one.

His hands instantly moved to your waist as you put the headband on him while not-so-subtly admiring his features with a smile.

"How the hell are you so beautiful?" You chuckled, your hands resting on his bare chest while you continued studying his face.

The slight blush that painted his cheeks was unmissable, his eyes disappearing as he giggled, his dimples showing even as he tilted his head forward.

He pulled you closer, hugging you closer as his heart raced and you felt it against your skin. The fact that you had that effect in him was something you truly cherished.

"Have you seen yourself, baby? You're the most beautiful person I've seen." His fingers lifted your chin up and he pecked your lips, then your cheeks and forehead and before you knew it he was peppering small kisses all over your face.

"I love you." Charles said.

"I love you too, angel." You replied, your hands cupping his face for a moment, you body electrocuted with the love that was coursing through it.

With one final peck to the lips, he let go of you and you reached for your own headband, putting it on after tying your hair into a messy bun to get it out of your face.

"First, cleanser 'cause we don't have makeup on." You informed Charles as you grabbed the bottle.

He frowned and reached for a brightly colored jar, bringing it up to his line of sight to read the label.

"Can we use this? It looks fun."

"Yeah, sure, but this is a moisturizer so, at the end." You smiled at him as you foamed up the cleanser between your hands before gesturing for your boyfriend to come closer so you could put the product on his face.

Charles pushed out his head towards you, closing his eyes  and pursing his lips so you could rub the cleanser onto his skin.

"Baby, you can talk and open your eyes, you know?" You chuckle and he peaked one eyes open to look at you.

"I don't want my eyes to burn." He complained.

"Oh, i'm sure you'll be fine, angel." You amusingly said then pecked his lips before starting to cleanse your own skin while he stood awkwardly with his eyes still closed and you watched him in the mirror.

"Baby, you look ridiculous." You laughed and Charles groaned.

"Can i wash it off?"

"Yes, of course! It's not a mask or anything."

Sighing in exaggerated relief, Charles grabbed a towel out of the cabinet and splashed water on his face, a couple droplets hitting you as he did so. You followed in his footsteps and washed the cleanser off.

"Now, this!" You grabbed one of your favorite mask. It did an amazing job soothing your skin and since it usually felt really nice and cool against your face, you knew Charles would like it.

"Wait, it's kind of cold." He proved you right as you applied it onto his face, his hand reaching up to swipe some off his face. You pushed his hand away and told him to leave it alone before you put on some yourself.

"We wait 15 minutes now."

You could practically see the idea spark in Charles' mind.

"I'll be back in a second." He walked out of the bathroom, disappearing out of your sight within seconds.

In the time he was gone, you grabbed your phone, checked for any texts and snapped a selfie in the mirror, intending to share it on your story. It was only then that you noticed the purple mark on your neck, making you blush like a teenager.

You saved the picture instead and went to search for your boyfriend when he appeared in the doorframe, carrying a bowl and his phone.

"I brought cucumbers!" He beamed, crunching on a slice as he spoke, "Now, we can look like we are at the spa."

Highly amused by this, you threw in a joke that you already knew was lame.

"Spa?" You made a driving motion with your hands, smiling as you spoke.

Charles narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, "Oh, come on! You know what i mean."

"Oui, i know what you mean." You grabbed a piece of cucumber and ate it, then another piece that you put on one of Charles' eyes.

"No, wait. I wanna put some music first." He grabbed your hand to stop you, unlocking his phone and scrolling through his music before clicking on a song and letting it play softly as he took a seat on the edge of the bathtub and covered his eyes with some cucumbers.

Smiling at the sight, you took a quick, discreet picture of him before you sat by the sink and mirrored his actions, loving that the picture was basically unsharable since he was in just his boxers, making it only yours to see.

While waiting for the time to be up, the two of you chatted about really random things, laughing so much that the cucumbers fell off a bunch of time until the both of you gave up on them. Instead, you had a small, silly photoshoot in the mirror than ended up with one of your favorite pictures of the two of you. Charles had one brow arched and was pouting his lips as he stood behind you while you were giggling at something he had said seconds earlier. It was a picture that would be kept between you and him only due to the choice of clothing, or lack of it thereof, and the painfully obvious mark on your neck.

Then, as his music shuffled, one of your songs came on. You rushed to skip it, groaning in a bit of annoyance but Charles pulled his phone away from you, telling you he loved that song, what left you inevitably enduring the awkwardness of listening to your own voice blasting out of your boyfriend's phone speakers. On the bright side, you got to witness Charles singing along to one of your songs what you found utterly adorable.

"You know, this was nice!" Charles admitted after he washed off the mask a few minutes later. You gave him an "i told you so" look as you patted your own face dry and grabbed the moisturizer that impressed him earlier.

You motioned for him to sit again and stood between his legs when he did, feeling his hands on the back of you thighs as you opened the jar and took a bit of product out, softly massaging it onto the entirety of his face, making sure not to miss any spots. He was smiling up at your the whole time, his eyes shining with all the love he had for you as he watched.

"Done!"

He grinned at you and admired as you moisturized your own skin.

"It feels like, it's really smooth." He gushed, touching his face repeatedly.

You laughed at that, "You were literally complaining just about half an hour ago."

He shrugged, waited for you to finish putting away the products before he pulled you to bed, slipping underneath the sheets with you pulled close to his chest. How could he not hold you so close when he's been dreaming of this for so long?

"Today was a bit tiring." He said, rubbing his eyes as he felt the sleepiness coming close to overpowering him.

"It was." You wrapped your arm around his waist, feeling so safe and serene with him so close, "But it was so worth it. Now i get to come home to you." A smile shone on you face as you looked up at him, finding that his gaze was already glued onto you.

"I love it so much, baby. You don't even know." His last word was interrupted by a yawn, "I love it so much that this is our bed, that you are actually here, not just an image on facetime while you talk from a completely different place. I love it so much that we don't have to calculate time zones as frequently as before, because let's be honest, that is kind of inevitable, and that you aren't a seven hour flight away from me." He lazily spoke, his arms tight around your body, one of his hands sliding down to move your leg so it was draping over his while you faced him and nuzzled your head into his chest.

"I love sleeping next to you too, angel. And I'm so thankful for you and for this. I don't think there is any greater comfort than sharing a home with you Charles. I don't know what i did to deserve you, to deserve so much happiness and love but I'll forever be grateful that you're the person i fell for."

With that, you hugged each other tightly and fell asleep in the safety of each other's arms, under a roof that you shared, not knowing what tomorrow would bring but still looking forward to it.

It was all so perfect.

[pastsaoi]

i'd love to know about all of the wips because of the sheer potential of all of them, really.

bet okay here we go ty for asking!! all of these r drafts so excuse anything that is clunky or weird sounding

part 2 in the 'is marius von hagen an idiot or just bisexual' series

this revolves around marius being allergic to silver. all his jewellery is platinum and he gets touched by luke Who Is Wearing A Silver Ring At The Time. queue a nasty rash all over and he never notices the ring bc he is more focused on luke, which leads to mar believing he is allergic to Luke Pearce and asking the rest of the team about it. he is genuinely distressed at the thought of potentially being allergic to luke

Whenever it was just Vyn, Robin and Artem in the NXX Headquarters, it was quite peaceful. They got on with their work with quiet conversations and no terrible, very bad ideas. With Robin present, it stopped Artem and Vyn from their bickering and, thus, it was calm. Serene one could say. The perfect environment to work and not fuck it up. Though it could also be said that this was simply calm before the storm.

So when the quick pounding of footsteps echoed around the hall near the door, Vyn took a deep breath, Artem rubbed at his temples and Robin clasped her hands together, hoping for something normal for the team like a murder or missing persons case.

"CAN YOU BE ALLERGIC TO PEOPLE?"

Her hopes had not been answered and Robin simply stared at where Marius stood at the doorway, looking… well, like shit.

once upon a fucking december

Okay so. Anastasia is my favourite film of All Time so ofc i had to make a tot au for it!! i have many different variations for this idea such as: rosa as anya and luke as dimitri, vyn as anya and rosa as dimitri, marius as anya luke as dimitri You Get The Idea. i don't actually have a snippet for this one bc its mostly just plots and plans in a gdoc But i will write it one day when i decide who to write as who

nxx unsolved : supernatural

The team go ghosthunting basically. marius signs them up to go explore a supposedly haunted building in stellis after someone asks and he does it under the guise of Teamwork and Team Bonding. its mostly a disaster

"This is a terrible idea," Vyn had stood up to fix himself a cup of tea almost immediately as Marius started speaking, though the whole team knew if he could get something stronger he would.

Marius pointedly ignored him. "We could be like the guys from Scooby Doo! I will be Fred and Miss can be Velma since she's the smartest out of all of us."

"Luke has eaten dog food before so he can be Scooby," Robin pitched in from where she was sitting, sending a bright grin over in Luke's direction.

"Fuck you! I swore you to secrecy!" The dog food eater threw the pillow he was holding at Robin and it was quickly tossed back.

Robin kept her smile, "all's fair in love and war. And I want Artem to be Daphne!"

"Why should Artem be Daphne? They're nothing alike?"

"He's the prettiest out of us all and don't argue, 'cause you know I'm right, Luke!"

backstreets back ALRIGHT DUN DUN DUNDUN

band/idol au thing. i was listening to nysnc and then i sat up and was like Wait A Second and thats how this idea was born. poor rosa is going through it as she deals with their bullshit. havent written much for this one atm but

Robin got the email yesterday that she was getting transferred into group management.

She was being assigned to a newly established boy band named NXX and was now the group manager. Robin couldn't believe her eyes, she was a goddamned PR manager????? Who in their right mind got her to do this??

Sure, she'd done something similar in her first year with TE. Her first job with the company was working with their most successful girl group, JAEI, but she wasn't the group manager???? She was the one who managed their social media and scheduled interviews! That's nothing compared to actually managing a group?? How would she be able to manage this?

Robin needed coffee, and Celestine, and more coffee.

Dead in 3 years?? OR NOT

Right. this one Luke is Dead and is now a ghost who goes around haunting fancy places for fun. he ends up haunting marius' new home which is very fancy and he ends up befriending a ghost luke. again i have no snippet for this one bc. I have not written anything yet but it is an idea that i will eventually write!!!

hey god can you take this guy away

yk the river styx? charon the ferryman who takes over the dead people? Yeah that is luke pearce and marius, a very not dead person arrives asking to go to the underworld

Long boat rides offer a lot of time for thinking, but Luke was really all thinking out. He had been here for who knows how many years and no longer had much to think about, lest he wanted to question his very existence for the 8th time that week.

He has to admit though. This shit is so, so lonely. The lost dead people don't really talk to him and are too nervous about their journey to the Underworld to actually speak so they aren't any fun. You get sick of morbidly enjoying people's stress after a short while, he might be a courier of souls but he isn't a monster!

Which is why, on his next journey over the river, as he was letting people onto his boat and accepting their kinda gross coins from their mouth, Luke was pleasantly surprised to see a definitely not dead guy.

Vyn Richter Loses It

story is in the title tbh. vyn is tired he has had A Bad Week and just wants to get this nxx meeting over with and go home but then the blender blows up and there is a strange mixture everywhere (help Him)

He has zero patience for the members of the NXX team today (excluding Robin, of course). His lacking patience rears it head once again when he walks into headquarter and finds-

Well, it looks like a fucking bomb went off.

Keep in mind, Vyn owns the building that houses their headquarters. He paid for it and while he isn't lacking in money, it was still expensive, it's in the Victorian District for God's sake stuff there isn't exactly cheap.

So, pardon his reaction to finding the entire room covered in something white that quite frankly makes Vyn very nervous. Oh, and really annoyed. Not to mention the blasting of a K-Pop song he recognises since it was both Neil and Giann's favourite song for a while. (For about 5 months straight it was the only song allowed to be played in headquarters and in their modes of transport (it drove Vyn absolutely mad)). The song isn't helping with anything.

There is a distinct odour of vanilla and egg which is quite possibly the worst combination of things he's ever smelt. He covers his nose and closes his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep his growing temper in check and prepare himself for whatever he'll find in there.

RED ALERT VYN RICHTER IS HOT

this is just rosa thinking abt how hot all her team is and also realising that Vyn may be the hottest out them all and needing to go sit and think. this is mildly fanservice-y but its okay

Robin knew she worked with insanely attractive men. She knew it, she relished in it, she embraced it.

However since she is around attractive men so much, she tends to forget just how hot they are sometimes. At random points it hits her, like when Artem stretched his arms above his head and she just stared. And he had a tight shirt on. And she could see everything. (She excused herself and sat on the bathroom floor in headquarters for about 15 minutes, rethinking everything.)

She frequently had these random experiences and she usually handled them quite well. It came with a lot of self reflection and crying at just how lucky she was to be with such works of art regularly.

those r my drafts. my wips. can u tell i like marluke just a Bit

will i ever finish these? Who knows bc i certainly do not i am a busy person but i love them all so maybe one day u will see them on my ao3

[petruchio]

hi caroline, i hope this is okay to ask, but could you talk a little bit about your "post-graduation, getting a job" journey? i also majored in literature, and graduated last fall. i wasn't actively job searching bc i planned to go to grad school, but when i didn't get in anywhere this spring, suddenly plans have shifted into Getting A Job ASAP Is The Top And Only Priority ;~; i'm almost at the point where i'm starting to regret getting a humanities degree, and wondering why past me didn't major in something more practical and lucrative, like engineering. from one lit major to another, how did you overcome this feeling of fear of being unemployable? or maybe you didn't have it all? i'd be grateful for any insight you had!! ~ sincerely, a very scared literature major

oh yeah of course!! i think ive answered a few similar questions, but i can't find them at the moment -- if i do i will come back and link them here as well, but im so happy to talk about it!! also here’s my job search tag though it’s mostly just me being insane -- it’s probably not that helpful. but let me do my best to give some helpful advice.

one thing i think is important to remember about getting a job with a less straightforward degree is that you don’t *have* to get a job in what your degree is in. like i don’t work in books or literature at all. my job is barely related to my degree and i kind of just stumbled into it (there is a lot of luck involved!) and now i'm just trying to do my best? i figure it will lead me to the next thing, and that will lead me to the next, and eventually ill find my place. while i do have my weekly existential crises, i am actually pretty chill about my career because i am only 22 and i know i don’t know anything at all yet, so how am i supposed to know what my career calling is? i say this just to say basically don’t pressure yourself to be like, the foremost editor at a top publishing house or a prize-winning journalist right out of college. (great if you are!! but it’s not a requirement.) like if you’re not interested in doing journalism (i wasn’t, personally) don’t feel pressured to do it. there’s nothing commanding you write articles just because you have a literature degree.

one thing to ask yourself -- what have you done that you enjoyed? i had a student internship doing comms work that i enjoyed, so i put that on my resume and searched for jobs with similar tasks. it doesn’t have to have been an amazing internship at a famous top company where you were the star intern for the entire year. but did you do research with a professor? work somewhere on campus? write for the school newspaper? was there one class where you really excelled? those are all great things to put on your post grad resume and use them in interviews! hiring managers KNOW you were a student. they’re not expecting you to have a fully developed resume yet! they want to know what you’re good at — your experiences so far will take you farther than you are probably currently thinking they will.

my other best advice is DO INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS. these literally saved my life. for the record, yes they are terrifying and yes they are super awkward. but i think they are the best thing you can do while job searching, especially as a new grad. reach out to alums on linkedin (bonus points if you have the same major!) and ask your college career center if they have a way to connect you with other alums. send them a cold message saying basically this:

"Hi (name)! I am a new graduate from/current student in X major at X university, and I am currently exploring my career options for after graduation. (Sentence saying we have xyz in common, major, university, career goal). I saw your profile, and I really admire your career path. I was wondering if you had (10, 20, 30) minutes for a quick phone call or Zoom chat to talk more about your experience in the industry? Thank you so much!"

you will be surprised by how many people will take you up on this!! and in those, i would ask basically — “can you tell me a bit about your career path” “what led you to your current position” “do you have any suggestions what titles to look for as entry level job in your field?” and things like that. (that last one helps a lot — you have never worked in the career world before! there is probably a job title you don’t even know exists that is an entry level role in a field that appeals to you.) they will do most of the talking -- just take good notes and ask thoughtful questions and you are golden :)

the great thing about informational interviews is that not only can you make great connections and get really helpful advice, but it also gives you good practice with the language and conversational style of people in the career sphere. you have been a student up until now -- and that’s fine! but talking to people who are established in their career can help you focus your own interview skills, literally just by listening to them talk and hearing how they talk about their role. it helped me TON in interviews to just have that language, because as a student, it just wasn’t something i was familiar with. it’s good, low stakes practice for improving your job interviews once you get to that stage.

my last piece of advice with these interviews is don’t go in expecting them to offer you a job -- that basically never happens. BUT! sometimes they will tell you what to search for! sometimes they will hook you up with a recruiter! sometimes they will tell you that this career path sucks and not to pursue it under any circumstances! all of those are great outcomes and you will learn something you didn’t know before. the great thing about informational interviews is that they are INFORMATIONAL -- and getting that information is a really good first step, especially if you didn’t do a lot of career prep work during undergrad (i know i didn’t 🤪)

also just know that job hunting SUCKS. it’s demoralizing, it’s depressing, it can make you feel really bad about yourself. there’s no good way around it, and i wish it wasn’t like that, but i think acknowledging that can be good just so you don’t feel like you’re drowning and that you’re the only one going through it. it sucks. im sorry. having a job also sucks. everyone goes through it. that’s just… life i guess.

but also remember that you are not your job or your career. you are a whole person with passions and talents and drive that have no connection to whatever it is that you will end up doing for work. don’t let it get you down too much. it will all work out. everything will be fine. you are smart, you are talented, and most of all, you are loved by so many people who couldn’t care less what you do for a job. me included!! if you’re reading this -- i love you! and im super proud of you. you graduated. that’s a huge accomplishment. now go kick some job searching butt!! and negotiate your salary. always negotiate your salary ;)

[dreamylyfe-x]

Your trevor meta is making me realize how weird it is that the writers and cast were so insistent that mickey wasn't coming back, because I don't think theyve ever really known what to do with ian's story without him. They put him in these lukewarm relationships and tell us they're so much better and healthier, but then have ian straight up admit that he still loves mickey and nobody else has made him feel the same way. How do they set that up and then have him go back to trevor? They set up ian moving on with "I'm not that person anymore" and follow up with season 8. It's like okay...who he is now is gay Jesus? Lmao. He's always been the shows forgotten middle child and after they wrote mickey off "for good" they could have taken him in a million directions but they chose one so shitty it basically made cam leave lmao. Sometimes it feels like fan insistence kind of forced mickey back but in actuality, the seasons where he's gone just hammer home that he was always the inevitable end to ian's story. So bizarre how little the showrunners understand their own story sometimes.

Ok. I’m going to be a little more Doylist here than I usually am, because we’re talking about what the writers are thinking. And I’m also going to take this opportunity to share this fascinating article from the AV Club in 2016: When Fan Engagement Goes Wrong. Everyone beware, it contains significant spoilers for The 100. But it’s also largely about Gallavich, the fact that online promotion of Shameless leaned hard into the popularity of the couple, and were up against it when Noel left. I’ll quote: 

“[Supervising Producer Shelia] Callaghan’s choice to be honest and straightforward when engaging with fans is admirable, and yet also on some level futile. She can’t tell them exactly why Fisher chose to leave, she is (logically) unwilling to spoil future storylines outright, and she can only speak her own mind as part of a collaborative process over which she holds only some influence. So while many fans respect her effort to maintain the connection to this now marginalized community, others attack, reinforcing that attempting to manage these situations is a full-time job that no one has been properly trained for.” 

This article links some tweets and the one I find the most interesting is this one:

“But the actor left.  So...what to do? Have them just break up?? Felt way less true to me than a forced separation!” 

That tweet is from Krista Vernoff, who wanted to convey that they tried really hard to come up with what they do with Ian now that he’d lost Mickey. And I’m sure they did try really hard. And.... People hated it. Mostly. 

Here’s what I think, based on what I’ve read and the interviews I’ve seen, on deleted tweets and Tumblr rumours and YouTube clips: The show didn’t want Mickey to leave the canvas. At all. Noel wanted more money. The show could not come up with both that money and the money they needed for everyone else. The show let him go. And hoped they could solve the creative problem their budgetary problem had dumped in their lap. 

I actually think Ian’s story in season six is decent. I miss Mickey, of course. I find the last scene with him really painful -- but it’s not painful because the show is trying to diminish him. They write and then cut together a scene where Mickey is DEMONSTRATIVELY still deeply in love with Ian. He’s carved his name in his chest. He is looking at Ian like he’s the most beautiful creature ever given breath. And Ian can barely meet his gaze. They tell us Mickey is being sent away for 16 years but when we see the last of Mickey Milkovich in season six I think “God, this is so sad. They love each other so much and this is so fucked up.” 

I do NOT think “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together.” 

The show always knew what it had with Ian and Mickey. They leaned into it promotionally. They gave meaty storylines to the characters, particularly given that Ian was the fourth lead on a family dramedy built around six children. John Wells replaced Aaron Sorkin on The West Wing. He knows how hard it is to follow a phenomenon. 

The more I think about it, honestly? I don’t think they tried. I think they knew that they couldn’t bring in Mickey Milkovich, the sequel in season six, so they brought in Caleb. And maybe they meant for him to be a LITTLE more viable than he was... but I think there’s a pretty good chance they were just throwing something at the wall to see if it stuck, while being fully aware that the important storyline in season six was getting Ian from despair to a fulfilling career. Caleb was just there as a catalyst. 

Season seven if more interesting, because Trevor is brought on and it’s very much... “Hey, let’s do something new. Let’s bring on a transmasc character and put him into a relationship with Ian and explore those complications.” 

“Great! Put it up on the board!” 

“Also. Let’s call Noel Fisher’s people and see what we can work out because we can do better with Mickey’s send off and people are yelling at me on the street about it.” 

Quite honestly, these are not equal tasks for his writer’s room. You have one story -- Create a whole ass new character. The only thing we know is that he’s trans. Figure out the romance from there. You have six episodes to get them together as an established couple. 

Then: Bring back the well-established and beloved character for an epic romantic two-episode arc where he reunites with his true love and they run away together and then ultimately realize it cannot be, and say goodbye and it all feels like I Will Always Love You should be playing in the background. They actors worked together for five years. They have a great professional partnership. They like working together. They have a ton of history so there’s lots of juicy subtext. The longing and sexual tension comes pre-established. See what you can do. 

HOW do you make both those things work out so that they are equal? You need lightening to strike. And that already happened on How I Met Your Mother. They squandered their good luck and now there is none left for Shameless. I do not disparage Elliot Fletcher at all when I say that for Trevor and Ian to really work he’d have had to have come with scorching chemistry with Cam, rich material that really gave them a good opportunity to build rapport between the characters, and A wizard standing by to cast spells in the wings. They had SIX episodes, a pretty average connection between the actors, and the “these are the LGBTQ+ people in your neighbourhood” scene. 

I just can’t believe that someone with as many years of TV writing under his belt as John Wells has expected that to work. He hoped the Trevor story might be good, and was certainly going to break some ground in terms of telling trans stories. And the Mickey story was going to be the highlight, because he knew people wanted it and he also knew that they’d had something pretty special to start with. Which is why people were yelling at him at Comic-Con. I DO think he hoped it might placate fans a bit. But... he wasn’t going to completely close the door on Mickey this time, either. 

So... I don’t really think the show every intended to write Mickey off “for good”. I think they wrote him off “for now, and we’ll see what happens...” -- and they did that with Karen, Shelia, Jody, Steve and Fiona, too. They only brought a few of those people back... They brought Mickey back three times. They ended Gallavich FOUR times. Noel is in ever season except eight. I don’t think they wanted Mickey gone -- but I KNOW the fans also made it pretty hard for them not to know his value, so absolutely I think that played a role. But when you create something people love and you get that lightening in a bottle like they did with this story, I think writers are always going to be excited to get that back. They like praise! They like people to be excited about their show. And Gallavich was always one of the things that got people excited about Shameless. 

I think they also wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story. But that’s why the lightening in the bottle is so valuable. You can’t just get it anywhere. 

[callsigndreadfrost]

Okay, so this is gonna be a long post and probably very detailed because I don't know how to summarize shit. I'm gonna be very honest in this post and it's nothing new to some of you but like I said I wanna be honest and in my being honest I may use certain language but it doesn't mean I'm making excuses for myself or looking for pity. I am just being very honest about how I feel. Now, with that outta the way, I wanna apologize for the length of this post lol

So as you may or may not have seen from a recent post I have been making plans to go back to school, technical school to be precise, but school nonetheless. Why? For the last 4 months I have been working very hard to find a job. I shit you not I have at one point filled out 30 applications in less than 72 hours. I've gone to countless job interviews, have wasted my own time, gas and money to be able to get a job. So far I landed that job at the airport but I left it before the week was out. See, during that interview I was promised a position directly with Spirit Airlines because of my previous 6 years of working at the airport. I only signed up because of that. So when I officially started I was then told they tell almost everyone that kind of thing to get people to sign up for the job. I was back at pushing wheelchairs only this time the company was somehow far worse than the one I had worked for previously. Pushing wheelchairs wasn't the problem. The problem was I had signed up for something in particular and was promised something wildly different than what I was facing. On top of that the first thing I heard on my very first day was "Watch what you say and to who to avoid drama. Also watch out for Nino because if she had a bad day she's gonna take it out on you."

...

What the fuck?

I also found out the hard way that leads don't like to help out other employees regardless of how busy the day is. I literally saw Nino seating her ass down all day long drinking coffee, meanwhile the rest of us were starving because we couldn't take our breaks because there were too many wheelchair requests. Hell, no. I left. I'm at an age where being a miserable sack of shit at a dead end job is NOT what I want.

And if any of you remember on February I'd been hired at The Exchange which is a U.S. military owned store. A glorified Walmart to be very fucking honest. I'd applied for a certain position and they put me in another that I couldn't do so they gave me the choice of either staying in that position or quitting. Not much of a choice. So countless mistakes on my part, a lot of humiliation, and gaslighting from management later I was fired for not being able to "perform my duties well". No shit, you piece of shit. Basically they set me up to fail which I did because they kept me in an area that I told them I wouldn't be able to work in and asked to be changed to the position I had applied to but they didn't. I even showed them all the email evidence but they all decided to tell me to my face that "I was aware of what I was doing". That was a super low point for me and my depression came back 10x fold.

Between March and July I was at the worst I'd ever been and being serious here video games kept me alive. I fucking sunk myself into ER and other games just so I wouldn't have to think about anything. I didn't really talk too much about it just to avoid thinking about it.

Then in July I got hit with the combo of covid and bronchitis and there I found I have diabetes. I legit wanted to fucking die right then and there. I hadn't felt that low since my last actual job, which, was the hotel.

That one single year at the hotel was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I had a boss that CONSTANTLY kept telling me I was doing shit wrong. We were told to always remain driving the golf carts regardless of if it was raining or sunshine. My back hasn't been the same since. I was so stressed my period got fucked up and it was non-stop for a whole 2 months. I had to see a doctor and he even pointed out it was due to stress. My mental state deteriorated and I was in an ugly place. On top of that during that job was when I had that incident where some drunk asshole wanted to have his first gay experience and wouldn't take no for an answer and got VERY handsy.

That one whole year destroyed me and after I got fired it just destroyed my confidence and the effects are still affecting me. I legit question myself and I'm afraid of fucking everything. Every time I apply for a job I question if I can do it even if it's just standing there doing nothing. I will go hours on end worried half to death if I'll be capable of doing the job to the point of nausea.

So yeah, for a few years I avoided looking for a job because I was super afraid and depressed.

Coming back to 2022, around mid August I was actually doing a lot better, like pre depression me better. Sure it was due to the scare of catching the dieabeetus but the support from my family was so eye opening. It was life changing. So learning how to manage my radically different life I decided I was ready to get out there and get a job and get back on my feet after 5 years of depression.

It's been exhausting trying to find a decent job. The straw that broke the camel for me recently and made the depression pop back up again was an interview at a funerary home where they legit told me to my face, "We actually called you in for an interview because we were curious about this large 5 year gap between jobs. We were wondering if you just didn't wanna work."

.........

Listen, older people in the island keep parroting that nonsense about people not wanting to work anymore and it is so fucking damaging and harmful. Look, I am insanely proud of the younger generations telling shitty jobs that barely pay to fuck off and die. I am so proud that people have had enough of the abuse and want to stop it. So employers are out there crying that people don't wanna work anymore. No, you stupid puta, people are just so tired of abuse and barely making ends meet because y'all don't wanna pay people livable wages. I hate that shit, every time someone says that "no one wants to work anymore" I chew their ears off. I don't care who it is. I will verbally assassinate you if you say that garbage in front of me.

I've been working my ass off trying to find a job. Am I being picky about the location? Yes. Yes, I am. Traffic in Puerto Rico is a massive fucking nightmare. I don't want an 8 to 5 where I have to get up at 4:30 to be out at 5:30 to get to work at time and then get home at 9. I want to have enough time to get to the gym. Ever since I joined I've been losing so much weight and have been feeling so fucking amazing and it has had my diabetes in such amazing control that my A1C results went from 10.35% down to 4.2% from August to October! My family was in absolute shock when they saw the paperwork. So I do NOT wanna sacrafice my time at the gym for some crap job that'll treat me like shit, barely give me any time to myself and pay me horribly. Going to the gym has been the best decision of my life and I do not want to give it up.

So on to now. A year or more ago my aunt brought up courses of pet grooming to me but back then I was still deep in my depression and mess so I shrugged it off. Recently she noticed I was frustrated and stressed over not being able to land a job and she brought up the pet grooming courses again and I thought it was a good idea. I love animals, especially dogs, so working with animals, being able to set my own schedule, rules and do my own thing sounds like an amazing idea. So in February I'll be starting pet grooming classes. The course is 8 months long so if all goes well I'll be done by October.

I wanna dedicate all 8 months to the courses so looking for a job is on pause. The classes are 5 hours and 50 minutes from Monday to Thursday and I get overwhelmed easily. I've been stuck in a depressive jobless state for 5 years what's 8 more months? Besides, it was when I had full availability and I wasn't getting hired, a restricted schedule will make me seem far less appealing unless they're okay with a weekend warrior which I've yet to see.

What I'm getting at is that I am actually considering opening commissions just to get a teeny tiny bit of cash flow while at school. Now, I don't really have any unique angle to bring to the table, I don't have many followers, I am very painfully obviously self-taught but I'm willing to dedicate Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays to that. I'm still very unsure if I'll try that yet but I've been flirting with the idea. I wanna play around with some other ideas before I give a definitive answer. IF and when I do I'll make a post about it with all the info.

So yeah, that's pretty much everything covered. Sorry for the length but if you read till the end I am eternally grateful and I love you for it.

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

[welldonekhushi]

To Love An Indian | Tony Stark x Desi!Reader

Summary: The reader is a desi woman who was appointed as an assistant by Tony Stark. How will your relationship with the billionaire genius go?

Warnings: All fluff, used Hindi language! Translations are available.

Word Count: 2,914

The special fact about you was, being an Indian was something common about when you live in a western country.

Mostly migrate to other places for finding a job, same as you. Never believed once in your life, you're going to get a job of an assistant. For a billionaire genius, and a superhero.

Everyone in your family was so happy about it, at least they have expectations that their daughter will finally make her name and earn. Maybe find someone special that you find to be perfect in your life?

Your mom and dad always worked hard for you for a better future and lifestyle. They never been so happier when they found out you were being appointed for a job in America. They felt so successful and proud for making their daughter educated enough to send her further.

Your flight was tomorrow, but the nervousness just kicks inside that how would your interview go. It was actually Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist. You can't even mess up with him. But, there was one thing which bugged you about, a tingly feeling.

You remember him since the day when the world was saved from the Chitauri invasion, and everyone was celebrating about the victory of heroes. It filled throughout the Indian media, about the new superheroes, named as the Avengers, who fight the inside and outside evils. The moment Iron Man showed on the screen, you were left surprised. You kept staring at the hero saving others and making sure if they're secure.

Mostly! When he opened his mask, and revealed his face, everyone held such shocked faces, like they never knew Iron Man was basically a human inside controlling the suit.

"Lo, hum joh isse robot samaj rahe the, yeh toh insaan nikala!" Your grandmother exclaimed. (Wow, we thought he was robot, but he turned out to be a human?)

"Chodo na, dadi. Hai toh hero, na?" You replied, turning back to the television. (Leave, grandma. At least he's a hero, right?)

But, you kept looking at his face. The way he spoke, the way he actions, and everything. You were lost into the man, that suddenly you revealed your smile, your sister noticing it.

"Didi, kya hogaya?" Your sister broke your contact, making you jerk in an instant. (What's wrong, sis?)

"O-oh, k-kuch nahi. Bas me usse dekh rahi thi, baat karte hue." You stammered, looking back. (Oh, it's nothing. I was just looking at him, talking.)

"Oho, pyaar me toh nahi pad gaye na?" Your sister teased, making you blush. (Oh, are you falling in love, huh?)

"Aree! Pagal toh nahi ho? Of course nahi! Hero hai, respect karti hu." (Hey! Are you crazy? Of course no! He's a hero, and I respect him.)

You did appreciate him, but this kind of respect leading to somewhere else.

It was morning, and the time for your flight. Bidding everyone a heartwarming farewell, hoping to see your family soon again.

"Beta araam se jaana. Maine tere liye bahut saari kheer banayi hai. Kha lena agar bhuk lagi toh, thik hai?" (Dear, go easy while you leave. I made lots of pudding for you, so eat it if you feel hungry, alright?)

"Haa maa, ghabrao nahi. Me araam se jaaungi. Ashirvad do bas." You kneeled down to take blessing from your mom and dad, them giving it back. (Yes, mom don't worry. I'll go easy, just give me your blessing.)

"Khush raho, beti. Kaam karna aur naam roshan karna." Your father removed his spectacles, crying tears for her daughter leaving. (Be happy, my daughter. Work hard and make your name bright.)

You hugged your dad, weeping because he wasn't ready to accept the fact you were now leaving him for a long time. After breaking the hug, you wiped his tears, giving him confidence.

Stepping in the taxi, you bid them goodbye, waving your hand and leaving for the airport.

Your new life now began, the moment you entered America. Landing, you then stayed in the hotel for the night, tired and exhausted. But, along that you wanted to remember your lines, so you quickly revise and go to sleep. In the morning, you hurriedly reach Stark Tower for the interview, since the time was running a bit fast.

Entering in the huge interior, looking at a lot of people working in. It did made your nervousness kick in again, but behaved like a strong woman, just wanting to complete the interview as a badass.

You reached the receptionist. "Excuse me, can you tell me where will Mr. Stark take the interview?"

"Oh, on the 15th floor, meeting rooms."

"Thank you." You smiled, reaching the elevator and waiting for the floor to arrive. Checking your watch, you were two minutes late, but hoping they'll just manage. Entering the room, feeling the slight cold air hitting your skin. It seemed empty, but hoped he was waiting for a while.

"Uhm, Mr. Stark?" You called out.

"Come in, Miss (L/N)." A deep, masculine voice filled through the room, knowing someone was actually in. Stepping inside, and closing the door, you seat yourself, trying to hide away your nervousness. It seemed you were slowly forgetting your lines but, being a strong woman is your passion right? Who even can—

The moment the chair turned around towards your direction, you lost it. It looks like you totally forgot the lines now.

Because Tony Stark just faced in front of you.

Did you just, blush? No, it might be embarassment. But, he too stared at you for a while. It was like an awkward staring contest, but remembering you were here for an interview, you brought yourself back.

"Good morning, Mr. Stark. Sorry for being so late." You wipe off the flick of hair on your face.

"It's okay. At least you were on time." He replied, giving a smile. Damn, it was cute.

"So, Miss (L/N). You're from, India right?" He asked, looking at your documents.

"Y-yes! I'm from India, also fully graduated from college."

"What really made you accept this assistant job?" He started asking questions.

"I just don't want to work for money, but I want to find what better I can do while I'm by myself."

"That's everyone's expectations. We should really try something new, and it's a fact of finding your true self."

"Right." You nodded.

"Alright, I have appointed you, congrats." He closed the document and gave a grin.

You widen your eyes. "What? I-I thought you were going to ask more questions..?"

"I don't ask many of them, I know you're capable for everything so, no need." He shrugged.

"W-wow.. I mean, it's way different back there.. haha. What a prick I am." You chuckled.

"You shouldn't actually be uncomfortable or nervous around me, okay? I'll always be available for your problems." He stood up from his chair, and you also too. Offering his hand for a handshake, and you happily accept it.

"Congratulations for the job, Miss (L/N)."

"Aapka bahut, bahut dhanyawad." You accidentally speak in your language, making you cover your mouth in surprise. (Thank you very much.)

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, not sure what you really meant. "Excuse me?" He tilts his head, smirking.

"I-I meant, thank you for accepting me as your assistant, Mr. Stark.. I'm sorry about that." You replied, trying not to fluster from embarassment. But, it didn't seem to make him feel weird, he was like.. more interested?

"No no, it's fine. Accidents happen, but your language is just beautiful. Just tell me whenever you're about to speak Hindi, JARVIS, my AI will help me translate it." He chuckled, and you laugh back.

"Mr. Stark you're so funny." You shook your head and continued to laugh. He sees you smile, which somehow warmed his heart. You might not notice it, but something was being created in between.

And time actually told that, when you both worked together for a long time.

"Please, call me Tony."

✧

Years while working with Stark, you really enjoyed the job. He was a sweet, generous person who will look after you, hoping nothing worse happens. It kind of made you both like good friends, later on. Everytime you looked at him, some strange feelings always attacked you. You can't even guess what it means, but maybe because you really appreciate him.

One day came, when you even noticed about his weaknesses. It made you worry when he never came upstairs to sleep, so after a lot of convincing, he accepted your plead and slept. Even it became more forward, when Tony faced nightmares, and wanted to sleep with someone by his side.

He had been lonely, and it hurts.

His tired face made you want to rub it gently, and relax him to sleep. But, it looks like, you weren't friends anymore.

The way he became more protective and caring throughout your job in his mansion. Like a boyfriend.

But, the question came, does he even love you back, that you're feeling it all?

In the morning, Tony woke up to see the side of the bed empty. Maybe you were up early and started working. He got up and rubbed his hair, went downstairs to get some coffee. While drinking, he suddenly heard someone.. singing?

It didn't seem like an English song. It was foreign.

He could even hear the feminine sound softly, coming from the othe room.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

When he slowly entered the room, you were the one singing while cleaning up the documents. Seriously, he never knew you sang so well. It literally made him feel so surprised, by seeing your other talent. He leaned on the door ledge, hearing you sing beautifully without noticing, like he was lost into it.

Everyday, whenever you used to sing this song while working, he secretly saw you and always adored your voice. It just made him fall in love.

On a particular day, he heard you sing the same song again. He stepped in the room, seeing your beautiful face and voice again.

In midway of your song, you turn around and see him on the doorway, and you gasped. "O-oh, Mr. Stark! G-good morning!"

"Good morning." He replied in his groggy, morning voice. "I never knew you sang so well. You never told me you even sing." He chuckled.

"Really..? I uhm, used to sing but, I had different plans.." You rub your hair, looking embarassed.

"But you sing so well.. I'm amazed." He smiled. "Problem is, I didn't understand because, that's a different language. God, I need to take Hindi classes from you, dang. What does it mean?"

You both laughed. "This song.. uhm actually is about, a lover, explaining his.. other lover that, he can't live without her, because they're deeply attached to each other. It's my favorite song, by the way."

"Oh really? You're into romantic songs, it seems." He raised his eyebrow and smirked, finding a seat.

"Yeah but, uhm.. because they show a lot meaning, even after I'm just a single-pringle, haha. Weird isn't it?"

He stared at you for sometime, it wasn't serious, but gentle. "It's not."

You blushed, don't know why but the tone of his voice dragged into it. Both kept staring at each, and had no idea about the surroundings.

You were the one to break through, coming back to reality. "Oh! S-sorry I just got lost.. a while back."

He got up from his chair, and went closer to your direction. Looking at each other's eyes, he found yours the most beautiful. Felt like he can swim in it. Caressing your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb, you started to panic inside, not able to notice what's happening now.

"Y/N.." He said, in a soft voice. "I.. wanted to ask about something."

You gulped, still flustered. "W-what is it?"

He realised something else, and then cleared his throat. ".. can you, teach me Hindi?"

"Huh?" You looked surprised.

"Yeah, I told a very while back, that I will once ask you to teach me Hindi. I'm very interested, can you please?" He flashed a grin. Like, there was no problem for you to teach him your language. It's good to make others know about your culture.

You gave him a nod as a reply, and he became excited. "Thank you, I'll gladly be your student, Miss Y/N."

✧

For weeks, Tony had been taking Hindi classes from you. I swear, it could have been tough for him, but he was just so interested to learn the language. All you know he was just keen so you were teaching him all that. Giving him assignments and worksheets with grammar, you helped him through everything.

"Maine khana khaya.." You said the words, and waited for him to recite back. (I ate my food.)

"Maine khana.. khaya? Did I say it right?" He replied, in a weird way because his American accent was also mixing in between.

"No no, you're going correctly! Now say it again."

"Maine khana khaya." Tony said it properly.

"Good! I'm proud of you. Damn, Tony. You're going good in this language."

"For you, I can do anything, even learning a tough language."

The moment which left you blank again. He still fixed his soft eyes with yours, clearing your throat to break the tension.

"Okay so, do you have any doubts so far?

"Well, uh. I have a doubt, many of them." He rubbed his nose.

"Ask me."

He first rubs his hands nervously, then looks back at you. "How do you say.. love in Hindi?"

"Oh, well.. pyaar." You replied, being straightforward.

"Okay.. now how do we say, you're beautiful in it?"

You felt a tingly feel in your stomach, but still continued. "Tum khoobsurat ho."

He chuckles. "Alright. Now, if I ask my final doubt.. how do I say.. I love you?"

You gasped. Did he really mean it? Clenching your pen, you became nervous.

"Tell me, my love. I want to know about it."

".. me tumse pyaar karta hu."

"Yes, that is what I wanted to hear." He skids closer to you, growing close to your face.

"Mujhe tumse pyaar hai." He said, properly in Hindi. You felt like to explode. Tony Stark.. loves you?

Suddenly, he gets up from the couch, offering his hand. You grab it and get up, till a familiar song plays in the room.

Tony grabbed your waist from one arm and your hand from the other, swifting to the movements as if they're dancing.

He started singing the song, when the verse began.

- play it now! -

"Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji.." He sang the line so perfectly. You were just shocked and surprised. Both were dancing like a couple on stage.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

While he was singing your favorite song, you were about to burst in tears. You never believed it. The billionaire genius, actually loved you this whole time. Happily resting your head on his chest, he continued to dance while holding you close. When the song finished, he still saw the tears in your eyes.

"D-did you wanted to learn Hindi.. b-because of all this?" Your voice cracked.

"Yes, my love. Just for you. I have to tell this but.. I fell in love the moment I saw you for the first time. Your smile, laugh, voice, behavior, eyes.. and your.."

"And your.. what?"

He sighed, and then leaned to close the gap between your lips. The kiss was sweet yet passionate, like he waited for this moment.

He pulled off for air, both of your gazes neutrally looking. "I'm surprised that I fell in love with an Indian, like you. But, you're pretty, no matter what nationality you belong to. You changed my life Y/N. Trust me, the way you took care of, pampered, and worried for me.. I can never forget that. I really love you for that, my love. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.. d-do you accept me as your boyfriend?"

You started to sob, clenching his shirt tight. Maybe she wasn't happy about it. "L-look, if you don't accept, it's okay.. you deserve. Alot better than—"

"Yes, yes and a million times yes!" You said excitedly, and he sighs in relief. "Did you like.. learn the entire song?"

"Yeah, I even did take help from JARVIS for the translation, also from your teachings, never forgetting that." He winked.

"Oh god.." You laughed.

"But come on, you didn't like it? Tell me!"

"I did, Tony. And I want to thank you for it, a lot."

He gently wipes off your tears, and kisses your forehead. "Now, do you want to celebrate for our engagement?"

"Like where, Mr. Stark?" You said, flirtatiously.

He darkens his eyes, and picks you in the bridal style. "Right in our shared bedroom, sweetheart." He takes you in the room while giggling, shutting the door from inside.

[welcome-to-afterlife]

Wannabe Challenge Kpop AU Headcanons

I know that no one requested this, but I had this idea stuck in my head for a while now. It took quite some time to get down, but I'm finally done!

Role: Leader, Main Vocalist, Center

Taehee was the first member of the group to be recruited by ST Entertainment. He had a charismatic yet soft aura that drew all the girls on audition day. Immediately, the entertainment company knew that Taehee would become part of their label.

However, it took him a good 5 years before the company decided that he was ready for debut. It was within this time that he learned how to avoid the entertainment industry's sleazy business practices, develop a strong image, and maintain constant motivation for debut. You could say he subconsciously preparing to he a leader by trying to himself afloat for 5 years.

Once he finally got to debut, Taehee was chosen to be the leader of the group. Although Hansol seemed like the more obvious choice, Hansol thought that Taehee would be a better fit since Taehee already knew a lot about the entertainment industry due to his experience. Besides, he was the only one who was mature and emotionally-equipped to lead a group.

As for Taehee's abilities, his strongest suit is his singing. While he wasn't the strongest singer at the start of his training, he ended up become one of the best vocalists in the company. His voice has a unique color that radiates smoothness with a hint of attitude. He's able to hit high notes, but he's a lot better at belting -- especially when he's feeling emotional.

Perhaps this is the reason that Taehee excels in elegant concepts. His graceful movements along with his princely facial expressions make him the star on the stage. Think of songs such as "I'm in Trouble" by NU'EST, "Blue Flame" by ASTRO, and "Not By the Moon" by GOT7. It's like he belongs on an icy throne in a golden palace.

Surprise, surprise: he gets the most lines in their songs. Usually it's not by a lot, but sometimes ST gives some of Biho's lines to Taehee (much to the everyone's dismay). He's never comfortable singing those lines and tries to negotiate to give Biho more lines, but it doesn't always work. He gets quite the backlash for it, but unfortunately it's out of his control.

When interacting with fans, Taehee is usually very warm and kind. He's constantly asking about everyone's health and well-being, nagging fans to keep themselves at top priority. He doesn't want fans to ruin their lives because of their love for him and his group. He's also very earnest and mature, almost like a guardian angel to his fans. Wherever they go, his heart is always with them.

In the group, he's basically the dad. He's always looking out for the other members (yes, even Yooha). Just like his fans, his members' well-being is top priority. In lives, you'll probably see him in the background cooking food, cleaning dorms, and or scolding the other members for doing dumb things (that last reason is why he's also very likely to appear in crack videos).

However, he appears most often in "sassy moment compilations" because of his reactions. Taehee has even gone viral because he just straight up rolled his eyes at a variety show when they asked him uncomfortable questions and threw not-so-subtle shade. From then on, he's been dubbed as the "sassy king".

For side projects, his main path is acting. Taehee is a really good actor who played the main male lead in a critically acclaimed K-Drama. He played the sly but sweet love interest in a historical drama. The audience are always amazed at his ability to adapt to the time period so accurately.... it's almost as if he's lived there himself?

Role: Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocalist

Originally, Yooha has started off as a model. However, staff from ST Entertainment saw Yooha and thought that his visuals would be perfect for the kpop business. They offered their business card to him and he decided to try out for fun. Fortunately, he nailed his audition and was admitted as a trainee immediately.

Yooha was the last person to join the company and had the shortest training time (1 year). His sudden arrival and decision to debut with the group created a rift between him and the other members. Taehee thought it was unfair that Yooha could debut with minimal training while Hansol was worried that Yooha's addition would affect the group's dynamic (in areas like line distribution, dance formation, etc).

However, he and the other members were forced to resolve their issues when he became Taehee's roommate at their dorm. Since it was Taehee's job to lead the group (including Yooha), the two had no choice but to bond.

Now before y'all yell at me that Yooha isn't main rapper material, just know that I had to give the position to someone. Secondly, Yooha has an alluring and deep voice voice that was perfect for rap. Also, he is really good at rapping in various beats and experiments with different flows. While he can do fast raps, he prefers to make ones that have a distinct rhythm and leave a lasting impact on the audience.

However, Yooha hadn't planned to debut as the group's rapper. His original role being the main dancer, but he jokingly rapped in an pre-debut interview and everyone fell in love with his voice. From that, ST Entertainment thought it would be best to make Yooha the rapper instead.

In fan interactions, Yooha is very slick and flirty. Whether it's in fanmeet, lives, or concerts, Yooha knows exactly how to steal the hearts of his fans. Just one wink is enough to make the entire stadium swoon over him.

However, he's also the crackhead of the group. If you search for the group's "crackhead moment compilations", 80% of the video will involve Yooha somehow. In fact, it's these moments that really boost his popularity within the group and skyrocket him to the 2nd most popular member in the group.

Sometimes, he manages to pull one over Taehee and becomes the most popular member. How does this happen? Well, whenever the group has a "bad boy"/sexy concept comeback, Yooha absolutely dominates the stage. Think of songs such as "Want" by Taemin, "7th Sense" by NCT U, and "Love Killa" by Monsta X. The sexy concept was made for him, so it's no surprise when everyone in the comments section thirsts over him. It's just enough to put him over the edge against Taehee in fan voting.

He also has the most risque outfits. Yooha has an amazing body and he knows it, so why keep it hidden? His wardrobe is filled with experimental pieces that show of his abs, forearms, and everything in between. It's the reason why he's voted "Best Dressed" on every voting app.

Yooha is also a smooth dancer. His fluidity and confidence amplifies his sex appeal on stage, which often causes fans to confuse him as the group's main dancer. He's also has killer facial expressions that maintain his striking stage presence, making it impossible to keep your eyes off of him.

When Yooha isn't rocking the stage, you'll probably see him on magazines and commercial shoots. Photographers just can't get enough of his visuals, so they constantly bring him back for more modeling. He'll even dabble his feet in web dramas, but it doesn't last for long due to the scheduling conflicts between the web dramas and his music career.

Position: Main Dancer, Main Vocalist, Producer, Face of the Group

Hansol started his music journey long before ST Entertainment. He had been creating music as early as elementary school (mainly him bashing wooden sticks on the table and strumming rubber bands). However, he really got to develop his passion on high school-- where he dedicated his time towards music production and music theory.

Thus, Hansol had his own YouTube channel where he created covers of different artists and snippets of songs that he created on his own. From that, he amassed a small following of 25K subscribers. This audience attracted ST Entertainment, who took a liking to his videos and asked him whether he wanted to be a trainee. Hansol gladly took the offer.

Hansol was the 2nd member to join ST and trained for 3 years. Although the company had given him the opportunity to debut immediately, Hansol wanted to wait until he reached his full potential.

While Hansol originally was the leader of the group (since he already had a fairly stable music presence), he had to product all their music. This ate up leadership time, which Hansol was having difficulty in managing. Besides, he thought that Taehee was more mature than him and thought Taehee would do a better job as a leader. Hansol ended up handing the leader role to Taehee before debut.

Hansol's production has been praised by critics, fans, and other producers. His vision for the song helps the group distinguish themselves from the other acts in the entertainment industry and create their own identities as a group. Sometimes he writes songs with Biho (or by himself) to better convey his emotions onto their group's album.

Hansol is the group's ace: he can sing, dance, and even rap. He's equally talented at singing and dancing, so he decided to take main positions for both skills. In his singing, Hansol has a high-pitched voice that makes it easy for him to hit high notes and belt to his heart's content. In fact, many of his lines in the songs are his adlibs (which give the song that extra spice).

Hansol's dancing style is sharp and energetic. There's a lot of power in his movements with playful facial expressions (in contrast to Yooha's powerful, sexy style). This allows him to steal the spotlight when the group has a playful and upbeat comback (think "Energetic" by Wanna One, "Sha La La" by Pentagon, and "BBUSYEO" by ONEUS). His bright grin is enough to light up the entire stadium while keeping fans engaged throughout the performance.

The group's debut turned out pretty successful thanks the Hansol's YouTube fanbase. With his enlarged presence, Hansol is the "Face of the Group"-- the most recognizable member to the general public. While he isn't the most popular within his group's fans, Hansol is the most liked across the general public.

Hansol's personality around fans is very bubbly. He loves playing up his cute, boyish charms to win over the fans (especially when they drool over Yooha). There's a lot of winking, heart signs, pouting, and hugs whenever Hansol interacts with his fans.

Within the group, Hansol is the baby. Although he isn't the youngest, he acts the most immature. He's always nagging the other members and trying to prove his manliness, but it's more like a puppy trying to intimidate a pack of wolves.

For side projects, Hansol would have a solo debut. He'd produce all the music on his album while collaborating with Biho for songwriting. Since it's his solo career, Hansol would have much more creative control-- allowing him to fully explore every corner of his artistry. He plans to continues his solo career long after the group disbands too.

Position: Lead Vocalist, Rapper, Songwriter, Visual, Maknae

Biho was the 3rd member to join ST Entertainment. Out of the 4, he was the only one who submitted a formal audition tape to ST Entertainment and got accepted through the traditional audtion process. What made his audtion special was that he performed his own song-- a love song to his future lover. The judges absolutely loved his vibe and voice, so they couldn't pass this opportunity.

When Biho became a trainee, he always felt insecure about his skills. Even though he was talented, Biho was training with the likes of Taehee and Hansol, who were already experienced and seasoned professionals. Biho thought he'd be holding his group back, but the other members assured him that his presence made a significant impact on the group.

And honestly, it really did because Biho wrote most of their songs. His lyrics were both thought-provoking and poetic. He was never afraid of writing music about the things on his mind (whether it was love, fear, anger, or sadness). However, editing the lyrics took a lot of time as Biho only wanted to make the best content for his fans. Sometimes he lets Hansol write music with him.

Biho's strength lies in his singing (like most of the other members). His voice is soft and breathy, almost like a lullaby wrapping you in a soft blanket. No matter how you're feeling, Biho's voice is guaranteed to calm your nerves and take to your safe place.

Biho is also known for his looks. Although Yooha is the group's top model, Biho's face is the perfect canvas for all types of makeup styles. Although he doesn't realize it, fans love the duality between his soft persona and his darker one. Many are surprised that Biho is able to make the switch for sexier concepts and absolutely die when he does.

However, Biho shines the most with soft boy concepts. It's the image that he's had for the longest and is most comfortable with. Besides, the more thoughtful and heartfelt songs are where his lyrics get to shine through-- making him extra happy. For reference, the best examples of soft boy songs that suits Biho would be "Spring Day" by BTS, "Don't Wanna Cry" by SEVENTEEN, "Blue Hour" by TXT.

In fan interactions, Biho is extremely warm and a tad bit shy. He's always blushing when fans compliment him and showers his fans with a bunch of love in return. He likes to take his fans' hands and sincerely thank them for their support because his group would be nothing without them.

In fact, Biho is the most likely to get emotional while performing. The fact that there are so many people who are willing to listen to his music and his message is something that he could barely dream of. He will be forever indebted to their kindness, which is why he tries go provide his fans with all a lot of content (lives, Q+As, pop-up fansigns).

In the group, Biho isn't much different. In fact, he's the member whose idol persona matches his real personality the most. He's always cheering hisnother members from the side and gushing about how amazing they are. Sometimes he likes to throw an occasional jab at Yooha though (especially when Yooha is feeling himself too much).

For side projects, Biho is working on a book! He already has a collect of poems that was published, which has recieved high praise from critics and other poets. He also spends time writing songs for other groups, especially ones that come from small, poor companies.

[thewolfswriting]

The Dangers Of A Demon Chapter 4

Pairings: Demon Alpha!Dean x Katarina Morgan (Omega OC)

Word count: 2,136

Chapter Warnings: Profanity, Knotting, Oral, Dub-Con 18+ content just don’t read if you’re a minor

Taglist: @charmed-asylum​

Divider By: @firefly-graphics

"Y-you claimed me! Why? Why would you do that?!" She screamed at the demon with tears and in horror.

The cramps and pain that came with her heat were gone. That she was grateful for but she didn't expect to be claimed by anybody, and that included a demon Alpha.

"Yeah, you see, that's what happens after an Alpha knots an Omega. We both know you already knew that." There wasn't an ounce of sympathy in his voice.

She touched the fresh bite on her neck and winced "I didn't want to be claimed." She sobbed "You claimed me on purpose."

He shrugged "If that's what you wanna think and  just because I claimed you don't mean I still won't kill you."

That didn't make the situation any better. However, only part of her wished he would kill her but only for the fact that she's been claimed by an Alpha that's a demon. But if he knew that he would just draw it out even longer.

---

"S-sheriff Morgan, sir? There's a guy here. He's here to see you."

Sheriff Morgan cocked an eyebrow "About?"

"He says he's here about the three Omega cases and his brother. He didn't tell me his name but he insisted on seeing you."

While confused, sheriff Morgan strutted towards his office to see someone sitting in front of his desk he hadn't seen in a long time "Sam Winchester. Haven't seen you in a long time. What can I do for you?"

"It's not about what you can do for me. It's about what I can do for you. I know your daughter is missing and I'm assuming Dean is here somewhere."

"Yes, he's here. He is also responsible for the three Omega's that are now dead. Sam, he has my daughter."

"I know."

"How so?"

"I know my brother better than anybody. Once he found out Katarina's your daughter, it became a game to him. It makes the kill more interesting." Even though Sam's tone showed sympathy, he also stated facts.

"Do you have an idea where he might've taken her?"

"Somewhere nobody can find her. We find her, we find Dean. I already interviewed someone, a guy named Tony."

"Yeah, Tony owns the diner outside of town."

Sam opened his notepad "He said there a scent he smelled. The kind of smell when an Omega goes into heat. He smelled it a few miles from the diner two night before"

Of course sheriff Morgan felt the fear he was dreading. The fear of his daughter going into heat with the man that kidnapped her and is going to kill her.

The words Dean said to him instantly replayed in his head "I can wait until she goes into heat, take what I want and then kill her"

He was beginning to lose the hope he had held onto since Katarina went missing. But now that Sam came into town, that hope instantly came back "Looks like we have our first lead."

"Looks like it."

---

Dean's claim mark on Katarina's neck still throbbed with pain even though it was half-healed. Once completely healed it would scar and she knew that. She tried not to make any sound of pain but no matter how hard she tried, he would hear it anyway.

The thought of trying to escape again crossed her mind. The stabbing with the knife, she could try that again, instead of stabbing him once she could stab him twice or three more times. But he heals quickly. So there goes that idea.

She remembered the window in the bathroom, so the idea of climbing out racked her brain. Only if she tried, surely he would hear her and catch her like last time.

Until he kills her, she's trapped.

---

The sound of the ax splitting the wood is what helped Dean somewhat get rid of his anger. For two days he's had to listen to her whimpering and sobbing of pain. All because of the claim mark that's currently half-healed on her neck.

For the most part he ignored it. But then eventually he got pissed at her and would yell at her. Even told her he would "rip out her vocal cords, then she wouldn't be able to make any noise"

"Omega's really can't handle pain." He said to himself

In some ways, Dean thought it was stupid of him to claim her. But most of it was out of Alpha instinct. He was able to control it with the other three Omega's and the others before them. With her, he couldn't help himself.

He should've just killed her after he knotted her. At least he wouldn't have any more visits from Crowley.

---

"Good evening, Dean."

"Damn it, Crowley! What do you want now?!"

"The Omega, she still alive I presume?"

"Like I've said I'm-"

"Dragging it out yes, I know" Crowley interrupted "It's been nearly a week, Dean. Never have you once dragged a kill out this long."

"What's your point?"

"Tell me, did you knot her like you did all the other Omega's before you killed them? Did you claim her too?" He took a step toward the demon.

"So what if I did? Just because I claimed her doesn't mean I still won't kill her."

"Alphas don't kill their mates. But like you just said, just because you claimed her doesn't mean you won't kill her. Now, get the job done."

---

When Dean came back inside the cabin Katarina was already asleep. He sat on the little stool in front of the fireplace and stacked the logs to build a fire. At least the smell of the burning wood would help mask her intoxicating scent that still clung in the air of the cabin.

Before crawling in next to her he removed every bit of clothing. He laid down next to her for what seemed like hours. Mostly, he watched her sleep. Sleep was the last thing on his mind. He could still smell her scent. The blanket, the bed, the whole cabin smelled like her. The only other scent he could smell mixed with her's was his own.

The longer he laid there and took in her sleeping form the more her scent got to him. While scooting closer to her he ghosted his lips along the side of her neck and over the mark, taking a moment for his tongue to lick over the wound. As she rolled over on her back she whimpered and a low growl rumbled from his chest.

Gently he pulled her shirt over her head and began pressing kisses down her naked chest and down her stomach. Unbuttoning her jeans he ever so slowly dragged them down her legs with her panties. She moaned in her sleep as the Alpha spread her thighs and pressed open-mouthed kisses on her skin along the inside of her thighs. He wanted to bite her, give her another claim mark that wasn't on her neck. But he held back, he didn't want to wake her up that way.

Just as he suspected, she was already slick from basically doing nothing to her. He took his index finger and dragged it along her wet slit and up towards her clit, her hips jerking at the contact.

"Dean?" The Omega's eyes fluttered open even though she was still half asleep. She looked down just in time to see Dean's eyes on her as his tongue pushed between her folds "What-"

She tried to pull away from him, but his arms tightening around her thighs halted her protest "Shh it's okay 'mega. Alpha just wants to make you feel good."

Finally, his tongue sought out her sensitive, pulsating clit. Still, he kept his eyes on her, watching her expression as he gave her a solid lick against her bud before closing his lips around the oversensitive spot.

It was different when she wasn't in heat. Well, to her it was anyway. When she was in heat she couldn't control the waves of pleasure he gave her, or the intoxicating scent of her arousal her body radiated. But it seemed like it didn't matter whether she was in heat or not, her inner Omega couldn't deny the physical pleasure he was now giving her. But still, the shame was there.

Dean growled against her as he continued to work on her cunt, his tongue sliding down to her opening and collected some of her slick. Her wet walls clenched around nothing as he pulled back "Taste just as good as the first time."

A smirk spread across the Alpha's face when her hips bucked against him. He knew exactly what she needed. Without warning two fingers entered her now swollen, soaked cunt, instantly finding that sweet, sensitive spot deep inside her. Her breaths became raspy as he lazily twisted and turned the two fingers that currently occupied her inner walls. He turns his attention back to her clit, moving his head from side to side and his fingers quickened their pace against the spot inside her.

"That's it, cum for me 'mega" He says as her breathing grew raspy.

Soon she's screaming from the sheer force of her orgasm that crawled through her veins. Like last time he continued to finger and lick her until her body shudders against him. Only this time, she didn't have to beg him to stop.

"Need you on my cock, "mega!" He sits back, hauling her onto his lap, and arranged her legs on either side of his hips.

The swollen head of his cock pressed at her slit. She was still sore from when he gave her his knot two nights ago and because of that, she panicked. With her hands on his shoulders, she attempted to push herself off of him, but the vice-like grip on her hips by his hands tightened to keep her still.

"Dean, wait! I'm so-" Her words were cut off by a hand shooting up and wrapping around her throat.

"Remember what happens if you don't?" He snarled at her.

With his hand still around her throat, she managed to nod her head rapidly.

The panic only ignited in her more when he lifted his hips to push the first inch inside her. Just like last time, he was met with resistance, only this time, it was more of a struggle due to her walls being so swollen. She yelped as Dean slipped the thick head of his cock past her folds. The Demon grunted as he pushed in another three, her tight, aching ring of muscles clenched around him.

He placed a hand between them to rub her still sensitive bud in circles "C'mon 'mega. Open that pretty little pussy up for me."

Between the contact of his thumb on her clit and his words laced with lust, she opened up for him. Once he was finally able to slide the rest of the way in she clamped around him so hard it almost hurt. Her insides felt like they were on fire.

"Hold onto my shoulders." He said while giving her time to adjust.

Without hesitation, she leaned forward, holding onto his shoulders with her face buried in the front of his shoulder.

He pulls out, only the head of his cock is inside her until he thrusts back in. She whimpered in response. Slowly he thrusts up into her. His patience didn't run thin like last time and that surprises him. But she also didn't have the chance to protest against him either. Either time, that wasn't an option.

Now he was plunging into her at a much faster pace. Each time he fucked up into her, she released muffled whimpers against his shoulder. He paused his thrusts only to lift her up an inch, leaving open-mouthed kisses at the skin on the opposite side of her neck. Closing her eyes she expected him to bite her again, but to her surprise, he didn't.

Tears bloomed in her eyes, she could feel his knot beginning to swell and that was something she wasn't prepared for the second time.

With one hard, brutal thrust, he forced his popping knot up inside her. As his release coated her walls, his eyes diverted to the knife on the nightstand. Reaching over he picked up the knife by the handle, his eyes tinted black from the memory from Crowley repeating Dean's own words back to him "just because you claimed her doesn't mean you won't kill her".

With the knife still his in hand he pointed the sharp end towards her back. This was it, he's going to kill her.

But then something struck him. A conscious perhaps? No, Demons didn't have a conscious. But Alphas do.

"I-I can't!" The Alpha roared before plunging the knife into the headboard of the bed.