#it wasn't even like it was a nightmare
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
aaaa I just had a dream abt my dad wtfhsnadhjs I didn't like it at all fuuufcukcfuckfuck I'm not supposed to miss him why do I miss him
#it wasn't even like it was a nightmare#but I almost wish it was#I wrote the dream in my journal bcz I feel it's kinda personal to share here but it was.weirdly normal#but I had the worst feeling in my stomach when I woke up#bcz I know that wasn't really him. it couldn't have been! he was mentally and physically abusive. and I shouldn't miss him#BUT I DO. WHY#WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME#I've had this issue for years now but I thought I maybe finally got over it??? (I haven't)#I can't even focus on my schoolwork rn#I do hate him. I do. I hate his guts. but there are times where I'm like “maybe he wasn't that bad. I miss him I want a dad”#GIRL!!! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER HE WAS TERRIBLE#vent
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
STAY ★ TRUE || patreon print for dec / shop
#art tag#patreon tag#linocut#printmaking#block print#block printing#relief print#traditional art#linoprint#they should invent a baren i like more than my dented tea canister lid. the bamboo one is ok but the texture roughs up the paper#if only i wasn't allergic to spending money on better stuff#also i fuckin. hate speedball professional that shit sucks. gets fuckin tacky as hell even tho its oil base#what a nightmare. caligo you are my one and only love#i shouldve asked for one of those fancy clay or glass barens for christmas. you know the ones with the really smooth glaze...#ok anyway yeah this is the patreon print for december!#for once i wasn't very careful about the chatter so a lot of them have some bits on the edges. whatever its art#gotta remind people its all carved
462 notes
·
View notes
Text
sally moved in!
(amazing build by @simkoos 🤍)
#simblr#ts4#ts4 gameplay#nightmare legacy challenge#f: baudelaire#baudelaire: 1#s: rust#s: sally#she's like my darling my dearest i hate all your dishes (affectionate) we're buying new plates and then they go to target skjfgksdjfs#also they're apparently engaged??? idk how but they are#there must have been one of those weird phone calls you get lol#even though they live in a same household it's stupid af#and i must have just clicked like whatever because i wasn't paying attention lol#wedding time it is!
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey what if I fuckin cried
#blitzø getting a little too relatable; blaming himself for a parent's death even if it wasn't entirely his fault#the fact that I've had nightmares like this with my mom before just makes it all the worse/hj#I mean I never really knew her so they weren't as clear as this scene but still#gahhdamn#also the fire starting fROM HIS HAND oml-#and the “Mom please I'm sorry!!” hit like a damn TRUCK to me#I miss my mom too Blitzø let's be trauma brothers#kk enough tag rambling lmao#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva#helluva spoilers#hb#hb spoilers#blitzø buckzo#blitzø#tilla#tilla buckzo#blitzø helluva boss#tilla helluva boss#bty3 talks
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
like, i do love cahir when he's introduced, and we get to know him and his character, but also, if i was geralt, and i heard this from my little girl:
i would also beat this guy's ass into the ground and want to kill him so so badly. like this is ciri's nightmare but this is also a parent's worst nightmare
#in this moment it took all of geralt's strength to not just get up and walk directly to strangle this guy with his bare hands#'what did he do to me' ohhhhhhhhhh my goooooddd geralt heard kill bill sirens#but in the moment he had to be like 'shhh it's ok ciri you're safe now'#when she hugs him and buries her face you can see his face and it's just silent horror and rage#also like what actually happened wasn't even that much better but we don't talk about that (jk we should talk about it)#the elbow-high diaries#book: blood of elves#excerpt#AND THEN. IN TOWER OF THE SWALLOW. CIRI HAS BECOME THE NIGHTMARE!!! FOR SUCH A 12 Y.O. GIRL AS SHE ONCE WAS!!
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
// i've been around for most of the fandom and it's phases and i can tell you confidently that 2015 was probably the worst time
#mun talks#there was a weird phase where people wanted to 'clean up' the 2ps and remove all the edge and made them all flowery and cute#and if u made anything that wasn't cutesy people got mad#like i remember there was a LOT of drama around 'mafia AUs'#it was a weird wave of trying to be the purest and safe version but it made the MOST drama i've ever seen bc it got nitpicky as fuck#i cannot even begin to touch the shipping discourse#but yeah man it was so bad#reinventing the 2ps to be uncontroversial and safe so allen is a wholesome sweet guy was an actual nightmare for me btw
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
idea. since askdusttale answered an ask about where dust got his determination from (because dust has SOME determination just so he can remember the timelines and keep going against the human) and said it was totally up to personal interpretation on how he got his determination. so so so like what if what if dusttale's player did something similar to something new's player and changed dust's code to give him determination??? so dust and killer COULD BOTH had their codes tampered with??? the parallels would be INSANE. they both started off as sans and got their codes tampered with by the player but dust and killer went on two opposite paths. dust out of his own voalition decided to go against the human but killer had to team up with the human no choice at all. the opposite parallels go CRAZY oh god im tweaking
killer doesn't know exactly (since i forgot whether or not he can see codes or something like that. i swear there was an image of him describing fell and swap's code and then his own) but he can SENSE that something's off. something's different about dust that he doesn't quite know about. maybe it gets him to ask a bunch of questions that dust is definitely not open to answering because jesus man mind your own damn business but the question that really sets killer off is the way dust answers when he asks "so if you have determination then how did you get it?" and dust just shrugs his shoulders and said that one day he suddenly remembered the resets and then that's when he got it (and then goes back to mumbling to phantom paps or wtvr) and killer's just like. zomg. a sudden change in behavior or mentality that seemingly has no apparent reason related to the human???? like like like when he suddenly had to agree with the player despite literally never wanting to????? killer is over thinking the implications behind this
meanwhile dust is just annoyed now because killer keeps on following him. he keeps asking him strange questions. wtf why is the guy asking to see his SOUL that's incredibly personal???? he just wants to be left alone man he has no idea what's going on
#this is what happens when i go on my weekly ask dusttale scroll through i come up with ideas like this#one day killer asks dust if he knows about the players and creators#dust says no. and the moment killer starts explaining it to him he backs off#because dust is actually fucking going crazy at what he just barely said#there are people above us that control our stories??? our LIVES???#so he wasn't fighting against some random human but a literal god who wanted to play with him out of curiosity???#dust is never going to forget that conversation. killer knows even that one sentence changed him#dust is really paranoid now when he sees a human. immediately kills them compared to before#yk what let's make this nightmare's gang related! nm notices dust's paranoia toward humans#mans is getting upset because he's killing precious negativity. so he asks killer#killer wtf happened to dust i told you to watch over him and horror (sadly i cant drag him into this hc)#and killer's like i might've told him about creators and players and now he's probably having a crisis over his free will and stuff#yeahhhh that dust gets replaced asap. it's better to leave aus unaware of creators in the DUST (haha)#and then promptly replaces him. killer keeps on eyeing the new dust like#is it a dusttale thing? is it all dusts? or was that the only one? maybe this one KNOWS?#but in the end he leaves him alone bc nm told him too. he's still overthinking those implications though#GOD THIS IS SUCH A COOL FUCKING IDEA#askdusttale i love having freedom to come up with ideas like this BLESS 🙏🙏🙏#listen if there were a real canon reason dust gets determination then i wouldn't have this idea#but dusttale's canon is so loose and just structural its GREAT!!!! i love it#and the fact that the dusttale fics dont even change much to the lore??? just explains dusts personality better#HOW MANY MORE PARALLELS CAN THE MTT HAVE BEFORE THEY EXPLODE I SWEAR#killer sans#dust sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#utmv#sans au#tricule rant
47 notes
·
View notes
Note
Omg your art lives rent free in my head and i'm so happy that i finally found someone who loves anakin as much as i do! Also fun fact: i'm aroace and anakin was the only reason I thought i was straight (didn't understood the aesthetic attraction then lol). Lots of love💖
Omg hiiiii!! Hello, fellow aroace, I'm aroace too! :D
You're so nice, I'm glad you like my art! I was very hesitant here at first because of my previous fandom (which I basically ran away from) was tremendously hostile, so I didn't know what expect from SW fandom and being fan of Anakin of all characters, but hey, I found my niche! There's a lot of ppl that love him (otherwise I wouldn't get that many notes, i think 😆😆).
Maybe there's a very loud angry crowd out there that think you're bad for liking him, but compared to what I experienced on previous fandom, SW fandom as I have experienced it so far, is a walk to the park
Anyways, thank you!!!!
#thanks for the ask!#ask#anakin skywalker#I could make a whole essay of why I like him or why I find him so relatable (spoiler alert: is trauma)#i had a period of my life in which i had constant nightmares about family dying and reached the point i tried to avoid sleeping which-lol#also a bunch of other things many many more#what a complex and fine evil blorbo he is#I will never get tired of saying that moving onto this fandom was actually really good for my mental health I sweaarrrrr#my previous fandom had me so paranoid but thats what you get when you get on the wrong side of a big fandom name just for liking a characte#-shudders- and that character wasn't even evil AJDHBDFG
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not "Robin Jason was just an angry, violent, aggressive brat", not "Robin Jason was a perfect, innocent, complete sunshine child" but a secret third thing (Robin Jason was a child who'd suffered abuse and trauma his whole life and never got the proper tools to heal from it; he was happy and silly, and he got angry and could be difficult)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#robin jason todd#no he wasnt a devil child and no he wasnt a perfect sunshine angel#im much more receptive to the latter bc at least its not demonizing a traumatized child#or victim blaming someone for getting murdered#but it still feels like a big disservice to who he is#and not to be projecting/relating to jason on main but-#my life hasn't been half as bad as his but when any complexity to jaybin is denied bc he Wasn't Bad Like That it feels. bad#my trauma&mental health issues did (and do) make me difficult. when i was 13 i was angry and had a hair-trigger temper#interpreted everything in bad faith etc etc. i was difficult and a lot of work and i was suffering and deserved love and help#(which i've thankfully gotten. love my mom for always being there for me even when i WAS a nightmare)#anyway. i dont like a jaybin who was nothing but angst and rage and behavioral issues. hate it in-fact#i also dont like a jaybin w no issues n no trauma n no poor coping mechanisms and troubles#you gotta get a healthy mix. its the only way forward#once again... the answer to everything is ''people are complex and you gotta think abt things more than surface-level''
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
🎃 You get brownie points if you give me details ...
#em.txt#poll#polls#random polls#chat it's nearly halloween season. answer my spooky polls please thanks#yeah so like when you grow up in savannah you know somebody who has seen a ghost always always always#I'm not like. arguing ghosts are real. idk it's like. hearing somebody who wasn't there. seeing something out the corner of your eye#a recurring nightmare of an old woman at the foot of your bed but only when visiting your grandma's guest room#a force pushing you downstairs. a cold spot. something in a photo you didn't see until after it was snapped. you know#this stuff ^^ even if you don't call it ghosts this stuff is all ghosts to me & i feel like everyone has had#the heeby jeebies or all their hair stand up or a feeling of being watched whatever#the pumpkin lives in this post now sorry
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's probably a good thing Tony Stark never met the additional Peters in No Way Home.
Because I did not to be emotionally put through Peter 3 (Garfield) and Tony addressing their shared trauma of their girlfriends falling to a great and deadly height just out of each of their reaches.
#look - even if Pepper lived don't tell me that doesn't live in Tony's nightmares#this is obviously aside from the other facts that#A. No Way Home doesn't narratively work if Tony is alive#B. Tony would creatively and emotionally overthink the implications of the multiverse#Tony: “What do you mean there's 3 of you? I can barely handle 1. I don't need 3 interns - one of which is like 40!”#T: “How do you not know that reference? You're as out-of-touch as Capsicle.”#T: “You mean there's no Steve Rogers in your universe? I would have loved to live somewhere where my dad wasn't obsessed with him.”#T: “What do you mean you've never heard of me?!?”#tony stark#peter 3#peter parker#spider man#andrew garfield#gwen stacy#pepper potts#spiderman no way home#tasm peter parker#tasm 2#marvel mcu#iron man 3
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is it really brainrot if you haven't had a dream where you were a character in the show
#this is directed to Mr. Jonathan Sims and to grian#Both of these dreams where nightmares btw#What that says about me idk#Also after I woke up from the grian one I debated my gender for like... 3 hours with myself#The grian one was a murder mystery airport with cannibalism#The jon one was where Elias and Michael Distortion teamed up to show Jon himself from different universe's#And what he would look like if different fears claimed him#The flesh one had a pair of scissors in his eye and didn't even acknowledge it#When he saw the universe where all had gone well he started crying because “that could've been him if only he didn't fail. If only he was b#Eventually he lost his mind wandering the halls with lost opportunities and chances surrounding him#These were both in first person btw#I felt all the emotions they felt#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#the magnus institute#jonathan sims#jon sims#jon archivist#jon tma#jarchivist#elias bitchard#elias bouchard#Theyre was one au in the tma one where there was a vast!Jon who was tied up because according to Elias he kept “kicking down the stars”#He was all tied up like he was stuck in a spider web with his legs just inches above the ground#grian#hermitcraft grian#grianmc#The grian one wasn't as scary but it was the first of these dreams#dreams#one time i dreamt
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
By implying that children are too stupid and rude to learn about the world and learn how the world works and how to interact with others, you are casting responsibility away from the people who are responsible for that child's upbringing and placing the blame on the children (who don't have the autonomy given to them to be allowed to decide what they want) who can't help what they do and do not learn, often.
If the children aren't okay, then investigate why before turning to thought-terminating clichés of, "Well, the kids are just stupid and dumb and aren't even worth the effort because they're lazy!"
#youth liberation#i was really bothered when i saw this clip where this person was saying almost verbatim that...#...'kids [these days] are too STUPID and they're teachers are scared!'...#...why is the blame placed on the kids who have no control over school curriculum and what their home life is like or if they have money...#...it's because when you place the blame on the people with no power or control you don't have the responsibility to change circumstances..#...you essentially keep the status quo while simultaneously belittling a group of vulnerable people...#...and thus you feed into the cyclical nature of the broken education system#the kids these days AREN'T okay but it ISN'T THEIR FAULT...#...it's the fault of late-stage capitalism and poorly-funded education and a world that wasn't even built with them in mind...#...they had NO PART in the creation of the world which is hostile to their entire existence#don't mind the incorrect usage of their in the second tag i was so focused on how pissed i was#also remember how a good chunk of these kids lived through *checks notes* the fucking PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN#which was a clown show in terms of supporting kids and their parent/s#some places handled lockdown in the US better than others but holy fuck in my area at least it was a nightmare#what do you expect from parents who are now working full-time and teaching part/full-time and parenting full-time?#what support exactly are you expecting they recieved? because you'll likely find they got either a little or NONE#hilarious that i used the wrong their in a post subtweeting about education LOL#look i was focused on how PISSED i was lol cut me some slack here
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.
it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'
and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.
and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.
like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.
hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.
#qsmp#q!phil#LIKE. does anyone else think this! i genuinely believe its like one of the major#traits of his character i feel like u can trace it through Everything.#the man lives with the constant knowledge that sometimes all it takes is a tempting ravine and a badly timed creeper to end a life#whether that life belongs to a stranger or someone you love more than anything else in the world#you COULD rage against that. you could scream and shout and tear your hair out and grieve for the futility of it all#but what does that change? the days march on. death waits either way#and that's not to say he's a laizesfair kind of guy. anyone who's seen him stress out abt chayanne's risk taking + freak out#whenever his kids don't have enough autofeed grist can see that he cares DEEPLY. which resolves into his very distinctive#defensive + protective playstyle. the goal is not to win the fight the goal is to *survive* the fight etc#but the only way that mindset doesn't spill out into unchecked paranoia + complete agoraphobia is with acceptance#'shit happens: the philza minecraft story'#i also think it even manifests in the nightmare sequence w his last words to chayanne? 'they didn't want us to live. we were never supposed#to survive' or whatever the exact wording was#he is FURIOUS and deeply hurt and sad abt the deaths he says so explicitly later#but at the time the first thing he reaches for is. exhausted acceptance. it wasn't their fault. it wasn't his fault. they did their best.#they could only do so much in the face of the federation's Overwhelming Hostility. y'know?#mine
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fun awful doodle I did of New Age Nightmare and Error last night immediately after I posted their refs.
#I wasn't going to post it#but why not lol-#Nightmare is the braincell holder but he also is allowed a bit of owo energy#meanwhile Error's brain just has a bunch of explosives going off all the time but he looks aware#I think he would explode a man for getting too close to Night#Lore: Error has a long long history of property damage. he claims it was by accident. mostly.#this would be better but my roommate and 2 friends came in and I had to stop working on it because I couldn't#begin to explain this even if I tried#New Age AU#I do want to do more serious artwork of Night though because he's a self-indulgent design and I really like his mask and hood vibes#he was a very intimidating king. not... not much anymore#he. he might actually wear heels now to simulate his old height tbh.
17 notes
·
View notes