#it wasn’t until a few days ago that this song really clicked for me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

canthelpit0 · 8 months ago

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Jealous girl

Pairing: Chris x jealous!Reader

Wordcount: 5.1k +

Summary: where a girl from school, that you don’t like, somehow knows Chris. Your school life and private life collide, as you decide to make rash moves to get back at her, and teach her a lesson.

Warnings: smut, jealousy, rich kid!Reader, use of y/n, they’re seniors in HS, marking, possessive!Reader (if u squint), pet names, p in v, filming, creampie, unprotected

(A/N: ik I’ve been doing a lot of rich kid reader, but it’s just sm easier 😭 I'm sorry for any grammar errors, English is not my fist language. also, the song has like barely anything to do with the plot.)

I’ve been friends with the triplets for most of my life. We just click.

I’ve always had a slight crush on Chris, he’s the first one I met.

I was scribbling a drawing in kindergarden, sitting at a table all by myself, when Chris came up to me. He started to talk to me and rant about something, until he declared us friends.

We grew up together, went to the same elementary and middle school. But being a rich kid, my parents wanted me to go to a private high school for better education.

So now I go to a private high school in Boston, while the triplets go to Somerville high school.

At first I really didn’t want to go, since it was a private school with uniforms and all. But my parents weren’t letting up, and even threatened to send me to a boarding school in Switzerland.

So I reluctantly agreed.

There was this girl, Eva. Your basic blonde girl with green eyes.

Now, I never liked Eva’s friend, but that was years ago, and I don’t think they’re even friends anymore.

Anyway, me and Eva share the same AP European history class.

We don’t talk a lot though.

★ ★ ★

I walk down the hallway making my way towards the door. Today was a draining day and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep.

But I have homework and-

My thoughts are cut off as I stop in my track raising an eyebrow. There was chris, standing in front of the main entrance of the school.

“Y/n?” He asks excitedly. It’s like my brain pauses for a moment.

“Chris?” I ask back.

At this point I hadn’t seen Chris or his brothers in a month or so. I was too busy studying and they were busy with lacrosse.

I live in Boston at the border to Somerville. And Chris lives in Somerville. But my school is 40 minutes away from his by car.

He opens his arms and I gladly hug him. I sigh as we embrace, my eyes closing briefly.

“Why are you here?” I ask. After all, Chris, to my knowledge didn’t have a drivers license and no reason to be here.

“Well, you know Eva? Well I gave her my jacket a week ago and I came to pick it up since she goes to your school-“ He rants, his words come out fast and jumbled by how excited he is to see me.

“How do you know Eva?” The words come out sassy. And honestly if i wasn’t hyper aware of the fact that we’re on school grounds I’d slip in a swear word.

“Well a week ago I was out in Boston shopping with Matt and Nick and this girl came up to me asking for my jacket since she was cold. Just out of nowhere” he starts to rant again, but I don’t even have half the mind to interrupt him.

After all, this felt like two of my separate worlds were colliding. And I didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t seem to dislike her like I did, wich only made me despise her more.

“And you gave it to her? A stranger?” I raise an eyebrow a huff leaving my lips.

I sound more sassy than I intend to, but I can’t help it.

Students walk past us slowly. Being in a private school most people loved it here. They weren’t pushing to leave.

We stand at the side of the main entry, still inside.

“Yeah. She asked for it” he sasses back, matching my attitude. Yet his smile stays big on his face and I could tell he wasn’t serious.

“What if she stole it?” I roll my eyes looking back up at Chris who had a few inches on me.

“That’s what I said too.” He agrees dramatically. “So she offered to give me her snap and told me she’d give it back to me next opportunity she got.”

That seems a bit dumb to me. She’s rich, she could just buy a new jacket if she’s outside and cold.

“You’ve been talking?” I question. I cringe slightly at the jealous tone lacing my words but Chris doesn’t seem to pick up on it.

“Yeah” he chirps back happily.

Oh so now they were snapping too?

He sticks out like a sore thumb. The way he carries himself, the way he smiles and acts, is just a dead giveaway that he does not go to a private school. Let alone, the fact that he’d not wearing a uniform like everyone else walking out right now.

Some people give us weird looks, but most don’t even care.

I purse my lips, if my day hadn’t been bad already, it was definitely ruined now.

The problem wasn’t that he had friends, other than me. But the fact that I knew her and knew how much of a Bitch she is, and how he can’t realize that.

The fact that he knew that she goes to my school, and that i probably know her, But didn’t even bother to mention it to me.

“You know what class she has right now?” He asks me. He actually has the nerve to.

“No.” I roll my eyes. Honestly I couldn’t care less. I only share that one class with her.

I turn on my heel to walk away, but before I can he grabs my elbow pulling me back slightly.

“Please don’t leave?” He asks sweetly.

I huff yanking my arm out of his grasp. Sure it could be awkward standing in front of the main door, obviously not going to this school looking like a lost puppy. But it’s Chris, he’ll survive.

“Chris, I have shit to do”

that’s a lie. I don’t have anything planned today. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

“Pretty please??” I huff turning back around. I stand next to him, my arms crossed as I scan the people leaving the building.

“Cute uniform you got there.” He says licking his lips slightly as he looks over my body.

I was wearing the green plaid skirt. And a basic white, collared button down. Along with the schools signature green cardigan and the tie.

I had so many layers on it was crazy. Since it was a more chilly day in Boston I had my tights on, but under the tights I had Thermo leggings on to keep me warm.

Honestly if people at public schools think the dress code is strict they should go to a private school for a day.

Once three buttons from the top of my collared shirt were unbuttoned and I was dress coded for it.

Atleast the skirt wasn’t horrendously long.

It could still be considered a mini skirt if you squint.

“You say that every time you see me in it” I scoff. I can’t help the fact I’m being sassy, I’m just in a horrible mood.

“I mean it.” He answers.

But before i can respond I hear an annoying voice from in front of me. “Hey Chris.” I turn my head to look at Eva.

The bitch is smiling wide. She was wearing the khaki skirt and the navy blazer with the black tights.

I purse my lips. God I wish I could dress however I want to for school.

“Hi Eva.” Chris greets her with a hug.

I physically try to hold back a scowl. They talk about something and I drown Out Eva’s pitched, bitchy tone.

Of corse Chris wouldn’t pick up on the flirting. But I see the way she smiles at him. The way her eyes trail over his face and linger at his lips for too long.

And I don’t know why I’m getting all territorial, but I guess I’m scared that Chris won’t have time to hang out anymore if he starts dating.

Either that or I just know how much of a bitch she is and I could treat him better than she ever could.

“Y/n this is Eva, Eva this is y/n” Chris makes us shake hands. He introduces us like we don’t know each other.

She chuckles at the silly gesture. She doesn’t hate me and I don’t hate her either. I just don’t like her, and the way she acts.

I’m rich, sure. And I’m more wealthy then her, but atleast I don’t act like a brat.

We start to walk, with them chatting, and me just trailing behind them.

We get to Eva’s car, she’d said something about driving him home or something. Does this girl know he lives like more than 40 minutes away?

My skin crawls at the thought of them being together in her car for that long. All alone.

“Chris come here” I wave him over for a second. Eva doesn’t question it instead going on her phone.

He walks over to me. I grab him by the shoulder to pull him down as I whisper in his ear. “You always pick the worst people to befriend.”

I let go of him. He groans rolling his eyes. His past two friendships with girls he befriended had ended horribly. But it was so predictable.

“Y/n/n. Come on” he scoffs. I turn to walk away to my own car to drive home.

Until he grabs my arm again pulling me back. “Can we talk.” He mumbles his arms wrapping a round my torso his chest pressed against my back.

“Not now.” I huff pushing myself off of him slightly. He wasn’t holding me tightly so I get out of his grip fairly easily.

“Y/n” he huffs.

“Don’t start.” I sass at him. I clench my jaw. I feel disappointed but not surprised. Eva wasn’t the type to show guys she’s interested in just how bitchy she really is.

“I gotta go, have fun.” I smile at him sarcastically. I let my smile drop as fast as it had appeared finally walking away from them.

But when I glance over my shoulder he’s already standing next to her smiling down at her.

★ ★ ★

The whole week after she found out I knew him, she’d constantly call him, and be around me and tell me stuff about him as if I didn’t know.

She’d sho me pictures of them together, she’d tell me jokes that I’ve heard before.

It was just the same old recycled bullshit.

He’d told her that we’ve known each other for basically forever. Why the hell was she talking to me like I didn’t know him?

That weekend I went over to the triplets house like I usually do, ready to sleepover.

I was in nicks bedroom talking to him.

“God, Chris always has terrible friends. And he needs to stop talking to everyone he sees.” Nick says with an eye roll.

This was our weekly complaining session.

“I know right, he befriended some girl from my school-“ I’m cut off by Nick.

“Eva?” I nod.

“I met her a few days ago and she’s so annoying.” He agrees slapping my arm a few times as he gets worked up.

“Right.” I scoff agreeing with him.

“And she totally has a thing for Chris.” He rolls his eyes hard.

I purse my lips. Good to know that I’m not delusional and that someone else sees it too.

After that the conversation topic shifts until Nick is ranting about some random TikTok song, and about how it’s obviously written to go TikTok viral and whatnot.

★ ★ ★

“Where are you gonna sleep tonight?” Nick asks, lying flat on his back, on his bed.

I slept over almost every weekend. And usually I’d rotate between whose bed space I’ll take up.

It is Friday, I always come over Friday after school. And then I stay until Sunday. And Sunday afternoon I go back home.

I always stay over on the weekends unless I have like an upcoming exam or something.

“Uhm.” I pause. I should sleep in Matt’s room tonight. But I want to talk with Chris more.

“Chris” I state. Nick doesn’t even question it.

The last time I’d slept over was over a month ago. and while sure, we did hang out in the past month, I spent all my weekends studying.

Nick had no mind to question me. He couldn’t care less. I could tell he’d missed me, and knowing I was sleeping over was comforting no matter where I slept.

We talk for a bit more until I stand up and pick up my overnight bag. I hug Nick and tell him I’m gonna head to Chris’ room.

We really need to talk about making good friends, and who to not befriend.

Because it keeps happening that Chris will pick out the shittiest people to befriend. And god it’s so irritating having to listen to him complain after they ‘betray’ him.

I walk upstairs to Chris’ room and unceremoniously swing the door open.

Once the door opens I’m immediately greeted with the sight of the pale pink LED’s on. There he was laying on his bed laying ON his side his phone up to his face.

“Oh hi y/n” he smiles at me briefly before going back to staring at his phone.

Chris usually called me any nickname under the sun before calling me my actual name.

Eva’s piercing voice echos out of the phone speakers making my expression sour immediately.

“Hi y/n” she says loudly. I can’t help the eye roll.

“Chris.” I hiss under my breath my eyes narrowed in a glare. He glances back at me his lips pursing in mild annoyance.

He tells her he’s got to go and that he’ll call her back. Chris then hangs up, slightly sitting up, his back pressed against his head bored.

I walk in fully, now closing the door behind me.

I put my overnight bag on his desk.

“I think she likes you.” I say simply my lips tugged into a straight line.

He huffs a laugh as if he thinks I’m joking.

I look over my shoulder, observing the grey sweatpants and white wife beater combo.

He crossed his arms staring back at me.

“I’m dead serious.” I say flatly. “Ever since she found out that I know you, she’s been coming to me in breaks and talking about you like I give a fuck.”

He poked his tongue into his cheek his expression falling flat “you’re serious?” He asks his voice painfully monotone.

“Of corse you didn’t realize” I roll my eyes turning back to look at my backpack.

“Whatever” I roll my eyes. I grab my make up bag that I always had in his room and I walk out the room to the bathroom to take off my make up.

After a few minutes I come back to see him on his phone again.

“Shit you’re right.”

Chris breathes out not even looking at me just saying that. He was going through previous messages only now seeing the underlying flirtation in her choice of words.

I raise my eyebrow at him before it registers what he is saying.

“I know” I say simply.

“How do I let her down slowly?” He asks his eyes finally going up to meet mine. His blue eyes only seem more exaggerated under the pink LED lights.

Before walking away from the door I lock it, he sends me a questioning glance but ultimately doesn’t say anything.

“You know, like how do I tell her I’m not interested, without saying that?” He adds still looking at me.

I walk up to the side of his bed.

I then roll my eyes getting on the bed. I sit next to him my back against the headboard as well.

We’re both quiet, the air in the room thickening. I can practically feel my skin burning up.

“How about you make a bold statement?” I break the silence after a moment.

Before he can respond I turn and get on his lap. My eyes are dark as I Simply sit on his thighs.

His hands go to my waist out of instinct. My arms wrapping around his neck.

He huffs out a breath his cheeks tinted a slight red. “What? you wanna make a sex tape or something?” He rolls his eyes.

I roll my eyes back at him. “That would be bold, but I don’t want her to see your dick.”

“Ooh possessive?” He teases. Chris unconsciously squeezes my side making me whine under my breath.

He chuckles at the sound, but before he can comment on it I’m speaking again. “I was thinking hickey , but if you want to fuck so bad then-“ I cut myself off.

“We can do both” he assures.

I lick my lips. And before I know it I move his face with my hand tilting his head to the side. My lips touch his jawline. I kiss down his jawline to his neck before I start to suck harshly.

He lets out a harsh breath his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

“Easy ma, you got all the time In The world.”

Ma. I genuinely don’t know where he heard that, but at some point he just started calling me ma or mama.

Like I said, he used every pet name under the sun, before saying my actual name.

I pull away for a second my eyes scanning the small purple bruise on his neck.

“No.” I breathe out harshly before starting to peck his neck again. Until I bite down, relatively low on his neck close to the other hickey.

I bite hard, making sure my teeth print would be there while also sucking another hickey into his skin.

He hisses at the harsh feeling, his hands clenching and unclenching on my waist. He doesn’t stop me tho. Quite contrary, I hear a few whines leave his mouth. His sounds sounding borderline like moans.

I pull away admiring his neck.

I move the strap of his wife beater to the side, kissing down his collarbone. I suck more marks into his skin, until I deem it enough.

“You wanna tap this, handsome?” I tease , my eyes meeting his pale blue ones.

His eyes are half lidded and his pupils blown out in pleasure.

It’s really late by now. It’s dark outside. And the light pink LED lights make his blue eyes look even bluer.

“Please?” He asks sweetly his tone feigning innocence.

I can feel the hardness press up against my clothed core. I grin back at him, my eyes dark in lust and half lidded like his.

I cross my arms and tug off my t shirt. I throw it to the ground, letting Chris Bask in the sight of my bra covered chest.

The lust radiating off of him only seems to double.

“So pretty.” He coos. And before I know it he’s leaning forward and kissing my chest.

He glances up at me through his lashes and mumbles against my skin. “Can I leave hickeys too?”

I chuckle at the question. It really didn’t matter for me. My schools dress code is strict and I would have to cover them up anyway.

“Under the neckline” I nod simply. And before I realize it he’s sucking on the tender skin of one of my boobs.

He licks and sucks at the skin, half my boob covered in his saliva now.

I tug in his top. He groans against me, obviously not wanting to pull away. But he eventually does, I pull the wife beater over his head and throw it to the floor.

His hand goes up to cup my other boob while he kisses down from my collarbone to my chest and then sucks another hickey at the top of it.

I card my hand through his hair while I don’t bother pulling him off. He lets me stroke his hair moaning into my skin.

He pulls away, his eyes even darker than before. his hair now messy as well.

I get off of him. He groans at the loss of contact. I can see he’s about to complain. But before he can, I start to undo my pajama pants and slide them down.

My black lacy thong and my black lacy bra match.

Chris had made fun of me for wearing such ‘slutty’ underwear before. After all whenever I showered here I left some of my clothes, namely my underwear, here.

I had my own little section in Chris’ closet filled with my panties and bras.

“Fuck.” He breaths out closing his eyes briefly and then opening them again as if checking if he was seeing things.

He starts to shift and tug down his own sweatpants. He eagerly tugs them off along with his boxers letting his cock spring free.

My mouth quite literally waters at the sight of his hard dick lying flat against his stomach.

He lays down flat on his back looking to his side to look me in the eyes.

“Please ride me ma.”

He says in such a pleading and whiny tone, how could I say no to that.

I walk past his bed to his desk and pick up my phone from where I’d put it.

I walk back tugging the thong off swiftly. I get on top of him straddling his torso. I grind myself against his dick, feeling it glide between my wet folds.

I tug on my bra trying to get it off. And when I finally do, it’s also discarded quickly.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous mama.” He sighs looking at my boobs, both of them having small hickeys on them.

He puts his two hands on my waist lifting me slightly. He trails one hand down to my folds examining my pussy.

I feel him push his middle finger into my cunt abruptly to wich I moan.

He hums as if he was thinking. “So tight baby.” He coos his second hand on my waist caressing my skin gently.

“Gotta stretch this pussy out. We don’t want it to tear do we?” Chris asks sarcastically, obviously joking.

I lick my lips and let out a dry chuckle. His girth really did look painfully big. Atleast for what I was used to.

It wasn’t like he was that big, but it was definitely well above average.

I hand him my phone so he can start recording and that’s just what he does. He uses his hand from my waist to film this.

The camera pointing right at my pussy. He pushes a second finger in, briefly finger fucking me and scissoring his fingers to stretch me more.

“So fucking soaked.” He groans under this breath.

Chris takes his fingers out of me grabbing his hard dick and jerking it for a second. I lift myself and he positions it at my cunt, while also making sure to keep the camera at the right angle.

I push myself down letting out a breathy moan.

His hand, that’s not holding my phone, goes to my waist to steady me.

I suddenly push myself down on him completely. I whine loudly, my body jerking forward at the impact. He groans at the feeling of being balls deep in me.

“You okay?” He asks rubbing my waist gently in comfort.

“Yea” I breathe out my eyes closing as I try to get used to the feeling.

My legs are already numb and I’m already questioning why I’m on top.

I start to slowly bounce myself on him. He watches through my phone, his eyes glued to where we connect, seemingly fascinated by the sight.

“So tight for me.” He breaths out harshly trying to hold back loud groans. He was painfully aware of the fact that his siblings and parents were home.

I start to bounce on him more listening to him shower me in praises and compliments.

“Fuck.” His eyes stay trained on the phone screen, but he occasionally glances up to look at me.

I start to ride him harder the compliments and praise only making me wetter.

“God, come on, get yourself off on my dick like the slut you are.” He huffs. His free hand lightly on my waist to help me steady my movements.

He tries not to be too loud, both for the camera and because everyone is home.

I lean forward slightly and take my phone from his grasp.

I film his face and his reactions now.

His hands go to my waist slightly squeezing my skin as I start to rock my hips harder.

“Good boy, be quiet yeah.”

I feel the knot in my stomach tighten threatening to snap. The constant hit to my sweet spot is so overwhelming, and before I know it I’m releasing on his dick.

my hands are shaky but my phone is still angled at him, catching his mouth dropping in pleasure.

I clench around him letting out soft whines and moans, while Chris uses his hands to make me grind on him.

After a second when I calm down he grins. Chris holds his hand out for the phone that I give to him. He lifts me slightly to show the Camera the white circle my cum created around his length.

He makes no move to switch our positions so I just grind into him.

Chris turns the recording off and puts my phone on the nightstand. His hands find their way to my hips holding me tightly.

But before he can switch our positions like he was lplanning to, his phone starts ringing.

I glance ova seeing Eva as the caller ID. I roll my eyes. I feel pretty over stimulated already, but I want her to know.

“Pick up.” I demand under my breath. Our eyes meet for a moment but he eventually complies.

He leans over and takes his phone, picking up the call with a frown.

As soon as I hear her annoying voice i start to ride him again, making sure that the slapping sounds are loud enough.

He tries not to groan at the movements, trying to keep himself together.

“Eva, uh” he pauses his eyes locking with mine once more. He can’t help it when his free hand on my waist urges me to go harder.

“I’m kind of busy right now”

But she doesn’t get the hint and questions him. “Too busy to talk to me?”

Fucking pick me.

“Yeah well” he lets out a soft groan, pulling the phone away so she doesn’t hear it too well.

She starts to yap about some unimportant shit. Chris puts the phone on the side of the bed sitting up.

I stop moving due to Chris harsh grip. He pulls me off and flips us around.

I grab the pillow re- adjusting it so the side of my face is buried in it, my ass up for him.

He grins a soft slap echoing through the room. He kneeds my ass trying to smooth the pain of the slap.

He spreads my cheeks and pushes himself back in. He immediately starts up a harsh and fast pace fucking me into the pillow.

“Are you having sex right now?” Eva questions sounding like a brat who was just denied a toy

He leans over for a second picking up his phone. “No I’m not, why would you think that” he scoffs continuing his relentless attack to my sweet spot.

My core throbs around him, clenching to try and suck him back in.

“Oh my god you are-“ before she can rant about god knows what, Chris hangs up the phone.

He scoffs his grip in my waist tightens as he continues to forcefully pull me back on him.

He goes to the camera app on his phone starting to film once again.

He admires the way his entire length disappears into my tight cunt, and the way he has a white ring around the base of his cock from my previous release.

He picks up pace even more, if that was even humanly possible, until I feel like im going to cum again.

I turn my face and burry it in the pillow trying to muffle my noises. Because honestly I’d be surprised if the whole house didn’t already know what we’re doing.

“Close” I whine out between incoherent moans.

“Me too ma. Hold it for a bit, yeah?” He says sweetly his harsh actions not so sweet.

“Where do you want it?” He keeps glancing between the camera and me, sometimes angling the camera to show my back and the back of my head too.

“Inside” I whine. And that mildly catches Chris off guard.

He only picks up pace tho, his palm meets my butt again, in a harsh slap. I moan at the feeling. “Come on come for me” he demands.

And before I know it the knot in my stomach snaps once more my thighs shaking and my cunt clenching a round him.

The Camera is focused on my cunt. His thrusts get more sloppy and messy until he gives me one last harsh thrust.

Chris releases into me, filling me up to the brim and stuffing me.

We both stay like that for a moment to catch our breathes.

He stops the recording and throws the phone next to me, onto the bed.

He trails his hand over my ass and lower back, before gently grabbing my hips and pulling out.

He lets out a breath seeing his length covered in our combined juices, and me leaking.

He pushes me on my side slightly, so I’m laying down fully. I sigh turning my face into the pillow my arm under it.

“You okay?” He asks softly. Chris kisses my shoulder softly.

I just realized that we hadn’t kissed once. This entire time, his lips hadn’t been on mine not once. And I don’t know if he did that on purpose or not.

“ m’ good” I sigh closing my eyes briefly.

I nuzzle my face into the pillow, breathing out. I blink my eyes open again sighing.

I feel his eyes burn into the side of my face.

“Were you jealous?”

My eyes shoot open and I turn my head slightly to look at him. “About what?” I say simply playing dumb.

“Why do you not like her.” He asks again.

“I never liked her.”

“Right, and you don’t like that she likes me.” He states simply.

I scoff. “Don’t flatter yourself” I huff and nuzzle my face into the pillow.

“You literally have my cum inside of you right now, ma.” He huffs in response.

I purse my lips burring my face harder into the pillow.

“I like that.” He says again making me look back at him. Chris is looking down at me with a sweet smile

“What?” I ask and look at him from the corner of my eyes.

“That you’re jealous.” Chris replies, his smirk ever so cocky.

“Why would I be jealous?” I huff, replying sarcastically.

“Don’t deny it ma. I think it’s cute.” Chris chuckles. He grins down at me victoriously. He lays down next to me staring into my eyes.

Masterlist

A/N: this was so fun to write lmao. sorry for not posting in the past few days, I was just busy with school and didn't have the motivation to write. Feel free to to send me stuff my req and asks are open <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf

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atinylittlepain · 2 years ago

Note

okay i was wondering if you could a joel x fem reader maybe even dbf joel where it’s loosely based on the song diet mountain dew by lana del rey? like the pining part of it and also the lyric “let’s take jesus of the dashboard” THATS SO HOT TO ME SO IDK

ive never requested anything before soo hope this is okay 🫣🫣

ahhhhhh, this one is a doozy

Ride It

pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

joel milller masterlist

She calls her dad's co-worker for a ride and gets a little more than she was expecting.

warnings | 18+ SMUT, age gap, DBF!joel, and not much else y'all

............................

“Hello?”

“Mr. Miller?” She can hear sheets rustling, his gruff sigh over the crackling receiver.

“It’s late, honey. What’s wrong?” Her heart stutters at the sweet name he calls her, the same name he’s called her since she first met him when her dad started working for Miller Construction four years ago.

“It’s my car. I think I have a flat tire and I can’t drive on it.” A long sigh filters through the phone.

“You should call your dad. He’s probably worried sick about you.”

“No! I can’t– he’s gonna be so pissed. Please, Mr. Miller. Would you– would you come get me? I know you’re good with cars and all. Please?” Another long sigh.

“Alright, honey. Will you tell me where you are?” She does, pulled over on the shoulder of the highway, a little ways out of the city but nowhere near home.

“Hang tight, I’m coming.”

“Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

“I’ve told you a thousand times– just Joel, honey.”

“Thank you, Joel.”

“I’ll be there soon.” She clicks her cell phone shut with a sigh, slumping back in the driver’s seat of her car. Her stomach swirls in anticipation. Normally, she’d try to tamp down the crush she’s had on Joel for quite some time, but after a night out in the city with a few of her old high school friends, she’s just warmed up enough to let her mind race with thoughts of him. It’s silly, something that could never really happen, seeing as her dad has been best friends with Joel for years. But it wasn’t impossible, was it? After all, he’s younger than her dad, and only fifteen years older than her. Jesus christ, get a grip. She huffs, shaking her head to still her thoughts as she looks out at the pitch-black Texas night.

It isn’t long before headlights are brightening up the inside of her car and she turns in her seat to see Joel’s familiar pick up truck pulling up behind her.

….

The rosary that hangs off her rear-view mirror is swaying harshly, the only sound beside their harsh panting and the sticky slap of skin is it clinking into the windshield over and over again. She’s not entirely sure how they got here, a mixture of late night talking and boundaries being flirted with until they both gave in to something they couldn’t have in the light of day.

“Shit, honey– fucking squeezing me– bit of a stretch for you, huh?” A high-pitched whine falls from her lips, her nails digging into the fabric of his unbuttoned flannel. Joel lets out a breathy laugh.

“That’s it, bounce on it for me, there you go– fuck– boys at school just not cutting it, are they? Need someone with a little more skill.” He punctuates his last word with a jolting thrust up that has the swollen tip of his cock grazing a spot so deep inside her it makes her crumple up against him, his rough fingers digging into her ass to support her as he starts a jagged rhythm of his own.

“C’mon, miss college. Use your words. Who’s making you feel so good?” She hadn’t been expecting it, a surprised yelp leaving her lips when he smacks the curve of her ass, hard, broad palm sure to leave a mark. There is nothing comfortable about the position they’re in, her straddling his lap, scrunched over him in the driver seat, one hand pressed up against the car door window while the other digs into his shoulders for stability. But all she can focus on is the sweet snap of pain and pleasure licking up her spine with each of his thrusts.

“You, Joel– you feel so good– want more– please, please–” Her words die in her throat when he thrusts up particularly hard, pressing her hips down to meet him and holding her there in a deep grind. She lets out a choked sob of his name, cunt clenching hard around him and coaxing a low moan from the back of his throat.

“Been wanting this for a while, haven’t you, honey?” His words are a smear against her bare chest where he had tugged down the front of her dress and bra, leaving harsh grazes of his teeth to the swell of her tits. He chuckles when the only response she gives him is a preening whine.

“Fucking knew it. You think I didn’t see how you were looking at me? Practically begging for it– shit– dirty little thing, aren’t you? What would your old man say, huh? Does he know his daughter’s just a little slut?” His voice is a southern slur stamped hotly into her skin, low and drawling and all melted together, pushing her even closer to the brink as her wetness starts to smear down hers and Joel’s thighs, the sound of skin slicking and sticking with each thrust becoming impossibly lewd. It’s almost too much when his one hand dips under her rucked up skirt, fingers harshly toying with her clit.

“Give it to me, honey. Make a fucking mess, c’mon.” The pleasure floods over in an instant, the only sound she can make is a breathy chant of his name as her hips seize up and she spasms around him. He’s not far behind as he thrusts into her a few more times before his hips stutter to a stop and she feels his warmth spreading inside her. She clings to him, both of them breathing hard and flushed with pleasure.

“Jesus christ, I’m sorry– I should’ve–” “S’fine, I’m on the pill.” He throws his head back into the headrest at that, chest still heaving. But he doesn't stay still for long, jostling her in his hold as he suddenly leans forward and yanks the rosary still clinking into the windshield clean off the rearview mirror, tossing it haphazardly onto the passenger seat. She quirks an eyebrow at him as he settles back into the seat.

“Damn noise was driving me insane.”

#joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller au #joel miller imagine #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction

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cosmos-coma · 9 months ago

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Glass Desks

A/N: Just a silly little scene I've had in my head for bit now since I work as an occasional house cleaner to try and get by. I got surprised by someone coming in on my last clean and just had to turn it into something.

Pairing: Mafia! Bucky Barnes x House Cleaner! Reader

Words: 1,055

Bucky Masterlist

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___________________

A sigh escaped Bucky as he ran a hand down his face. He was supposed to have meetings all day today- ones important enough that he’d rearranged everything around them- yet within the first two hours something had already come up and his associates were forced to reschedule.

“Hey, boss? We’re here…” Sam said from the driver’s seat, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him look up at the large empty house before him.

His empty house.

He wouldn’t trade his line of work for the world, truly, but between both the secretive and potentially violent nature of his job, it didn’t exactly leave much room for pleasant company.

He sighed again as he stepped out, “Thanks Sam…. That should be all for today, but I’ll call if I need you.” He said and patted the roof twice before it pulled away.

Making his way up the stairs toward the entrance, all seemed normal at first glance- that is until he spotted an unfamiliar car parked around the side.

It was an old car, parked out of the way in the shade- not quite a beater- but they definitely didn’t make its model anymore. It was non-descript and would blend in with a crowd if needed, but more importantly: it wasn’t one of his.

He moved toward the door with far quieter steps now, listening intently for the intruders. Multiple voices came from inside as if trying to talk over each other in layered tones. Chairs and doors clunked and creaked as they were moved about, followed by the moving voices- were people searching for something?

Instinctively his hand found the gun in his jacket. ‘Sam didn’t say anything as he left… Did he really not notice the car? No-Sam was one of his best men… Maybe he already knew they were here..?’ Bucky thought.

Either way, he wasn’t taking any chances; his fingers closed around the gun’s handle as he cracked open the door, the weapon a comfortable and familiar weight in his hand. His steps were silent as he entered, their practiced paces unknown to anyone but him.

However, instead of finding an enemy gang searching for secrets he found…. You.

You were hard at work in your own little world as you went about cleaning the second floor. You bobbed and sang along to the music emanating from your back pocket, your voice layering over the original as the rags half tucked in your belt swayed with you. The mobster couldn’t help but crack a smile.

He had completely forgotten. Usually, on days when he was meant to be out of the house for hours on end, you would be scheduled to come clean. But apparently, no one had informed you about the change of plans.

You had been hired on as his house cleaner a few months ago, helping him keep things together while work kept him endlessly busy. But despite having been on the payroll for a while now, he still hadn’t found the time to officially meet you- that is, until now.

He couldn’t deny that you looked… rather silly if he was being honest, but your unparalleled passion only made it all the more endearing. His head shook with a faint smile as he watched as you moved into his office. Shutting the door behind him with a soft click, he was halfway up the second-floor stairs when he heard you suddenly break away from your song.

“Ugh…,” you sighed loudly to yourself, still thinking you were the only one in the room, “what kind of an asshole has a glass desk? I mean, really- Do you have stock in Windex? Is that what it is???” You asked snarkily to no one in particular, but this was too good for Bucky to pass up.

“Not yet. Should I?” The mobster found himself biting back his laughter as he leaned against the office doorway behind you.

“At this rate? You should really-“Your mouth clamped shut faster than it ever had before, your entire body freezing on the spot as his response finally processed. Your eyes were wide as saucers as your thoughts ran on a panicked loop ‘Oh no, oh god, oh shit, oh fuck. you really just had to insult the infamous White Wolf of New York… In his own home… In front of his own men… Are you STUPID??’ you yelled at yourself internally and quickly put on a brave face, turning off your music and turning to the unfamiliar voice behind you.

Your stomach nearly dropped as you realized it was not only “one of his men” it was, THE man. You instantly recognized him from the few photos scattered around the house; the sharp stubbly jaw and blazing blue eyes were unmistakable, not to mention the hint of the metallic arm you caught between his suit sleeve and glove. You couldn’t deny he was handsome- even more so in person than he was in his photos.

“Mr. Barnes…!” Your voice squeaked out, but he just held his same amused smile, looking anything but upset. “I, uh… I thought you had meetings all day today- I didn’t mix up the date, did I..?”

“Not at all…” he said with a quiet laugh. “My meetings got rescheduled part way though, so I thought I’d spend the evening working from home. Little did I know it’d be the perfect place to get financial advice too.”

Your face burned with embarrassment as you relived the very recent moment yet again, “Right, uh, about the whole ‘asshole’ thing, I-”

But he simply waved you off, “Don’t. It’s refreshing to get an authentic opinion, and honestly? I don’t even like that desk.” He admitted, his heart stirring in new ways as your whole body relaxed and he could finally see you as you usually were, “and, ah… if you wanted to stay for a while, I sure wouldn’t mind the company- I could use a little advice in the stock market.”

You bit your lip to hold back your grin, you wouldn’t get too ahead of yourself, “Oh, me? I don’t know if I’d really be suitable company while I’m cleaning.”

A thought seemed to pass over him then as he nodded in agreement, “Hm, you’re right..” he smiled, “Perhaps we should just have dinner then… how’s tonight?”

______

General Bucky Taglist:

@writingmysanity @simpxinnie @goldylions

If I missed or accidentally tagged you lmk! Wanna be added General Bucky taglist? Please ask/DM me!

#I want to do more mafia bucky eventually but it probably won’t follow the same characters #same reader I mean #mafia!bucky #mafia!bucky barnes x reader #mob au #bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes x you #james bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #james barnes x y/n #james barnes x you #james buchanan barnes x reader #james barnes x reader #James

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wooziorgans · 5 months ago

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1. through me || ljh

based off of this anon ask!

summary: after a particularly rough breakup, y/n has time to reevaluate his sexuality. and, well, you’ll never know if you never try; even if the guilt eats you alive.

pairing: idol!woozi x male soloist!reader

genre: best friends/roommates to ???fwb???

warnings: bi-curious reader. readers first time giving a blowjob. mutual blowjobs. soft dom jihoon but actually insane sub jihoon. praise kink. talking about sexuality. mentions of watching porn. implied bottom jihoon. mild homophobia. some internalized homophobia. reader has implied daddy issues. a bunch of svt members are queer in this. hardcore aftercare. slight given (anime) spoilers but not rlly. reader has a bad gag reflex. reader gags once. deepthroating. ass eating. rimming.

word count: 8.7k

masterlist | next

Your friendship with Jihoon was far different from all of the friendships you had with other people.

Maybe it was the nature of your jobs; both of you were producers, you spent the most hours of the day writing songs and fucking around with the equipment in your respective studios to fine tune your work. Both of you were particular, neat, and to some, might appear downright odd in the way you functioned on a day to day basis. All of this being said, ever since you met Jihoon, neither of you had ever formed such a solid friendship with another person quite as quickly.

Seungkwan had quite literally ran into you on his way to Jihoon’s studio one afternoon five years ago. He recognized you from around the building, and after apologising profusely for ten minutes straight, he asked you to join him for drinks later that night with a few of his bandmates as a way to pay you back for your now Americano stained t-shirt. The one day you decide to wear a white shirt, and a coffee addict ruins it.

“It’s fine, really. I have spare clothes in my studio. It’s really not a big deal.” You had said, laughing carefully at his obvious distress. You agreed to get food with him nonetheless, seeing as your friend circle was quite small since you had debuted as a soloist, and a self producing one at that.

Jihoon didn’t join you for dinner that night, but he did meet you three weeks later in the hallway. You had greeted Seungkwan as you saw him in the hallway on the same floor he ran into you on. Rather excitedly, he waved back, pulling you down the hall with him. You and Seungkwan had ended up talking for hours at the dinner he invited you to, alongside other members of Seventeen. They had been so warm and welcoming, despite how hard it was for you to meet new people, and it was almost instantaneous how fast you clicked with all of them.

You had, at this point, met almost all of the members; some briefly in passing, others more in depth, all with Seungkwan's help. The last remaining member was Jihoon, who you knew virtually nothing about other than that he also was a producer, and that Seungkwan said you would get along well. When Seungkwan pulled you into an unfamiliar studio, it was solidified. You ended up talking about music with Jihoon for hours, work abandoned on your desktop where you left it.

Through Seungkwan, and subsequently Jihoon, you discovered that there was quite a large queer community inside of the K-Pop industry; one that you had found yourself in the middle of, despite having no attraction to men.

That was until you had a rather big fight with a long term girlfriend over your best friend being gay. Jihoon liked to be upfront about his orientation, in case it was a deal breaker for any potential friendships, but seeing as you were being dragged around the Hybe building by Seungkwan, it was much easier for Jihoon to come out and tell you.

It wasn’t an issue. You were a lot of things, but being like your father wasn’t one of them. You thanked him for telling you, but reassured him that it wouldn’t be an issue for you. It was an issue for your girlfriend though.

She didn’t like how much time you spent with a gay man; assumed that every single interaction with him was him trying to ‘convert’ you. It was ridiculous, but a persistent issue throughout your entire relationship. You tried to avoid conflict by not bringing her around Jihoon, trying to sweep the issue under the rug, until it all came to a head.

Things had been tense in your relationship for a while, but one night while watching television with your girlfriend, the lead male actor had done some fan service and it left you feeling weird. Your girlfriend noticed the way your jaw tensed, and interrogated you until it suddenly blew up into a full blown argument.

“So fucking what if I think other men are attractive? That doesn’t change the fact that I’m with you, or that I’m in love with you.” You had said, and that seemed to put the final nail in the coffin of your relationship.

“Oh my god. He has fucking converted you.” She hissed, and all the months of reassurance, years even, seemed to be all for nothing. She called you nearly every single name under the sun, while simultaneously making your best friend seem like someone who came straight from the fifth circle of hell. It was non-negotiable for you. Insulting someone who understood you better than anyone else, who would’ve never judged you for the fleeting thoughts you had about men… it was over the second she opened her mouth.

Two years down the drain as you packed a bag and told her it was over, tears streaming down your face at the audacity she had to talk about Jihoon like that, but also for the wasted years you spent with someone like that. Someone so vile and full of hatred.

The queer community, as you had learned, was far more accepting and understanding than the straight community. Jihoon was an extension of that. When you showed up at his door, crying and out of breath from trying to contain your anger towards your now ex-girlfriend, he pulled you into his apartment, holding you tightly as he rubbed circles on your back. He let you in for the night, offering the spare bedroom he had in case his parents came to visit.

You didn’t say much that night, just told him it was over. You spared the details about the fight you had being about him. That would’ve upset him immensely, and you couldn’t deal with him being upset at the moment. You stayed the night, and then you never really left.

With the freedom of being single, you began to find yourself staring at more men, none of them were your friends, except for Jihoon. You had told Seungkwan while drunk one night that if Jihoon was a woman, you would be head over heels in love with him. Seungkwan had laughed it off, but as your attraction toward men began to confuse you, he was the first person you went to for advice.

He comforted you, cooing softly at your internal turmoil, trying to understand the best he could. Seugkwan offered advice when necessary in your conversation, but told you he wouldn’t be much help because he had always known that he was gay. If you really wanted advice, he had said, then your best bet was to talk to Vernon or Seungcheol about it. And so you did, though it took you three weeks to muster up the courage to text Seungcheol to talk about something ‘personal and kind of serious but not really.’

Seungcheol had been a very intimidating figure when you first met him, but he was the one who would text you to get drinks after work, and your friendship solidified quite quickly. You were close with Jihoon, and that was all he needed to like you enough to initiate a friendship. You shyly confessed to Seungcheol that you had been, in the time since your conversation with Seungkwan, having provocative dreams about men; omitting the detail that most of them were about Jihoon on all fours, something you were quite ashamed about.

It had been about seven months since your breakup when you had your conversation with Seungcheol, and you and Jihoon were roommates. Things like this could ruin any regular roommate dynamic, but you and Jihoon weren’t normal. Seungcheol listened to your internal struggles, and reassured you that it was normal to feel some confusion, that you didn’t have to have everything figured out right now, but that you were definitely bi-curious from what you had told him.

Putting a label on things gave you a little comfort.

You had been thinking about your conversation with Seungcheol, and subsequently what being bi-curious even meant, for a while before you brought it up to Jihoon, and seemingly out of nowhere. One night, in the downtime of a new action anime you had started watching, you asked him how he knew he was gay. All he did was raise an eyebrow before telling you. When he was finished he asked the dreaded question: why?

Yeah, why were you thinking about suddenly kissing boys? Women had been fine this far along into your life, so what changed? The easiest answer to that question was the man who had asked it. Jihoon was pretty, this was something that was an objective fact, and you’d always been drawn to pretty things.

The issue was that you lived together. Normally when things got weird inside your head, you’d run from the problem. This time you couldn’t just run; moving out suddenly wasn’t an option, Jihoon would know something was up, and you couldn’t explain why you needed to leave without sounding like a big fat liar.

You told him that you had talked to Seungcheol and Seungkwan separately, and that you thought you might be bi-curious. You told him you had started to think about one of your friends a little differently, excluding the fact that it was him. Jihoon comforted you, while softly scolding you for not telling him sooner, but reassured you that you could tell him anything and he’d help you the best he could. After your conversation with Jihoon, he resumed the anime you had been watching and held you close, making sure you were okay with it first, and things changed slightly after that.

So all you did was give in. Living together with someone who hates skinship as much as you do is strange because it’s a double negative. You both tend to stay away from other people, but somehow that cancels out. or maybe it’s just the Jihoon effect. Either way, living together had resulted in a nightly ritual of watching anime on the couch together.

It was how both of you decompressed before you lived together, so it was something you started doing in each other's company. Obviously you didn’t start getting clingy right away, but each night the distance between the two of you would get smaller and smaller until you ended up resting your head on Jihoon’s chest one night when you were extra tired. He didn’t say anything, just wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into him further.

And so it became a thing. Shortly after, Jihoon started laying down with his head in your lap. This was your favourite way to lay, because it allowed you to play with his hair.

Much like right now. Jihoon had never seen Given, and you were a little shocked to learn that. Not that all gay people need to consume all types of gay media, but for an anime buff as big as Jihoon, you were sure he had to have seen it, especially considering the plot. Jihoon was laying in your lap, long dark hair slotted in between your fingers. He preened like a cat when you massage a sensitive part of his scalp.

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen this.” You sigh, head leaning back against the couch. He hums softly, pushing his cheek against your thigh.

“Not all gay people know every single piece of gay media.” He laughs quietly. On the screen, Mafuyu strums his guitar softly, glancing to Uenoyama for approval. “Is this why you wanted me to see this? Because he has a red Gibson hollow body?” Jihoon turns his head up to look up at you. You look away from the television to see his big, brown eyes shimmering softly in the low light of the evening.

“No. It’s cute, and I think you’ll find the plot… decent enough.” You laugh softly, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. Jihoon just hums, turning his attention back to the show, and that’s it. That’s the end of the conversation for the time being.

A few more episodes in, a flashback scene between Mafuyu and Yuki had your head tilting in curiosity. Jihoon must feel the shift of your neck, because he’s turning his head back up to you.

“What’s up? Never seen softcore gay porn before?” He asks lightly. His tone is a little teasing, airy and careful around the subject. You’ve gotten to the point of being able to joke about it, even if your attraction to men is still quite sensitive. “I know you’re confused about things right now, but watching this kind of stuff with your gay best friend isn’t really gonna solve anything. You need to actually experience it.” He clicks his tongue softly, as though he’s unsure of what exactly to say next.

You fill that decision for him by speaking next. “I’ve already seen the entire series, Jihoon. It’s not that, I just… I guess I’m a little curious about what it feels like. Not that I want to… um, not that I’m thinking about that stuff right now. I’m barely comfortable with the idea of touching a dick that isn’t mine.” You stumble over your words, blush creeping its way up your neck in the familiar way it always does with the subject.

Jihoon laughs softly. “You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right? I thought we established that it was okay for you to ask questions.” His voice is still light, but it’s sincere. He wants you to know that you can trust him, and you do.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just, like— I’m just not used to it. I know that I find guys pretty, but I think I’m having trouble imagining doing anything with them. I don’t know if I could.” Jihoon hums in acknowledgment, his hand carefully slides over your thigh in an attempt to soothe you. It doesn’t work.

“Even if I sort of always knew, it was difficult to start doing anything. I mean, I lived with twelve other guys for all of my experimental teenage years. I didn’t really have the privacy or the time to experiment. We were new to the industry, I didn’t really have a foundation to start. But when I did, I took it slow.” Jihoon squeezes the flesh of your thigh through your sweatpants softly. “The first time I sucked dick, I threw up.” He laughs softly, and you follow. The image is amusing, but then you dwell on it for a second too long, and the image of Jihoon sucking your dick flashes briefly through your mind.

You shift in your spot to get rid of it. It works. “I don’t know if I’d ever be able to suck dick. That just seems like a lot.” You sigh softly.

“How can you be sure if you’ve never even tried it?” Jihoon rolls over onto his back, head still in your lap as he looks up at you. You resist the urge to run your fingers through his hair in this position. “Thinking guys are pretty and actually doing things with them are two very different things. You don’t really strike me as the kind of guy to just start sucking dick, but you don’t have to do everything right away.”

“I know, but isn’t it sort of expected? Like, women need foreplay, so isn’t some kind of foreplay needed with men too? Especially with… sex? Like you clearly have to stretch that shit open, and that’s a little scary.” You swallow hard. You know Jihoon’s watching your throat from the way his eyes follow the bob of your Adam's apple.

“Well yeah, but I think if you explained your situation to someone they could take care of that at first. And you don’t need to bottom right away.” Jihoon pauses for a few seconds. “What about sucking dick is so scary?” He asks, voice a little softer.

“All of it. Having something in my mouth.” Jihoon laughs softly.

“Yeah. Your gag reflex is terrible.” He butts in. You laugh, though it’s a little strained.

“What do I do if they cum in my mouth? Spit? I guess there’s also a little fear around not being good at it.” You exhale, and the illusion is broken. The one you carefully built up around Jihoon, even though he told you not to. The one that made him think you hadn’t actively been thinking about giving head instead of receiving it.

Jihoon sits up carefully. Your thighs miss the warmth of his head instantly. He’s looking right at you, big brown eyes somehow bigger than normal. “Have you ever tasted your own cum before?” He asks, and for a second you think, pray, that he’s joking, but he’s dead serious.

“What?!” You ask, slightly exasperated.

“I’m asking if you’ve ever tasted your own cum.” You stutter out syllables for a few seconds before finally gathering your thoughts to respond to him.

“I- uh, yeah. Once. It got in my mouth by accident.” Jihoon hums, shifting a little closer to you. You know he’s not satisfied with your answer though. “It was really bitter.” He nods softly.

“Was this before or after you moved in with me? If it’s before then it was probably your diet.” Somehow, Jihoon’s knowledge of fitness and sex always seemed to shock you. “You didn’t eat properly before you moved in with me. It should be a little sweeter now. Easier to swallow.” Something in his eyes shifts, and it’s dangerous.

“Jihoon—” He cuts you off swiftly, not giving you the time to digest the double meaning of his words.

“Do you think about kissing guys?” You nod weakly, shivering softly as his hand finds your lower thigh again. “Do you think you could kiss another guy?” Another weak nod.

“I’ve kissed Seokmin before.” Jihoon laughs softly, ignoring your attempt to dissolve the tension.

“I’ve kissed Seokmin. What about other guys? What about this friend you told me about?” He tilts his head, fingers ghosting up further on your thigh. At this point, you can already anticipate how the night is going to end, but you’d rather not focus on that right now.

“Uh, yeah. Shouldn’t be too different from kissing women, right?” Jihoon nods curtly.

“Right.” His fingers brush your inner thigh and you shiver softly. “All you need to do is find someone willing to help you out; let you try things in a judgement free environment.” Your cock twitches softly in your pants.

“Finding someone is the problem.” You sigh, head lulling back against the couch.

“You have me, though.” He almost purrs out.

“Jihoon, I can’t—” You start before it's quickly shut down.

“I know you’re curious. So do you want to try some things? You’ll never know if you don’t try, Y/N.” You nod softly, eyes squeezing shut as his hand finally reaches the top of your thigh. “We’ll keep it lighthearted, yeah? As far as you want to go, we’ll go. You can’t fuck me tonight though. I might not be clean enough for that right now.” The mental image of being balls deep in Jihoon’s ass is enough to get your cock twitching softly. Your sweatpants do fuck all to hide the slow growth of your erection as his hand moves higher up to your hips.

You cross your arms in an attempt to maintain some semblance of self control. “Then can I kiss you?” You breathe out a shaky yes. “Uncross your arms, Y/N.” You do as he tells you, letting them fall to your sides. He shifts onto his knees, before he’s moving.

“What are you— oh.” Jihoon pushes you back onto the couch softly, thick thighs straddling your legs as he sits down right on your lap. He laughs softly, gaze incredibly tender as he looks over your face, scanning for any discomfort. “Don’t look at me like that.” You laugh softly.

“Like what?” He tilts his head again, hand creeping up your neck slowly.

“Like that. With your eyes.” Jihoon throws his head back in a laugh, the air around you growing comfortable despite the nerves boiling in your stomach. His pale neck is on full display, and you briefly wonder what it would look like covered in hickeys.

“Shut up. I’m trying to kiss you, and you’re pulling this shit.” He sighs out another laugh, his other hand running up your arm. His fingers play with the hair at the nape of your neck.

“Sorry. I’m just nervous.” You breathe out, hands carefully moving to hold his waist. Your thumb rests on his hip bone, or where it should be. The fabric of his sweater makes it hard to pinpoint exactly where it is.

“I know. That’s okay. If you want to stop, just tell me, but I’m a good kisser so you don’t have to worry about that.” His thumb strokes your jaw, before he’s closing his eyes; pretty, long eyelashes fluttering as he leans in slowly. You can’t help the way your other hand rests softly on his ass. He puffs air out between his lips at that, and you close the distance between both of you.

Surprisingly, or more so surprising to you, Jihoon is a very sensual kisser. The second your lips connect, he’s taking it slow, letting the initial contact linger, before he starts moving his jaw slowly.

You move your other hand to his ass, carefully giving a small squeeze as you try to distract yourself from the small voice that’s whispering softly inside your head that this isn’t you, that you’re not gay. Jihoon whines softly against your mouth, and it’s enough of a distraction to pull you back into the kiss, back into him.

The flesh of his ass is soft. You expected it to be pure muscle, but it wasn’t entirely that. It’s firm, an obvious side effect of all the hours he spends in the gym per week, but there’s a layer of fat that makes it squishy. You know it would jiggle if you slapped it, and that makes you squeeze a little harder, the movement of your lips picking up in speed as you kiss him a little deeper.

He whines softly as your hand slips up his back, under his hoodie and shirt to caress his bare skin. Jihoon is a good kisser, and when he whines again as you knead his ass, you take the opportunity to slip your tongue into his mouth.

Immediately Jihoon is sucking on it softly, trying to elicit some kind of sound from you. It works as you grunt, hand on his back pulling his chest into yours in a quick motion that leaves both of you so dizzy. Your cocks brush each other in this new close proximity, and Jihoon releases his suction on your tongue to push his own into your mouth as well.

Jihoon’s tongue is soft and velvety against yours. He kitten licks into your mouth, soft whines and whimpers falling into your mouth as your hands explore his ass and back. The feeling of his ass under your hand makes you a little light headed. It’s just so soft, even through the fabric of his sweats.

Jihoon gives an experimental roll of his hips against your lap, bulge knocking into yours. Both of you moan out lowly, lips still brushing each other as you take a moment to process. Jihoon laughs softly, pulling away for a second to speak. “At least you’re hard. That's a good sign.” He jokes, one of his hands abandoning its place on your arm to run it down your chest.

“Fuck,” You gasp softly, as Jihoon rolls his hips again. “You’re just so fucking pretty, Jihoon.” You breathe, and it’s so incredibly honest it makes Jihoon’s skin burn. He almost pulls away before he leans back in, pushing you further into the couch as he grinds against you. His fingers curl around the fabric of your t-shirt, pulling you closer to him.

“Shit, baby, don’t say things like that.” He gasps into your mouth, before his head falls to the crook of your neck. His hips never stop moving, precum leaking from his tip, darkening the grey fabric of his sweatpants.

You can’t see the spot on his sweats, but you can feel it start to seep into your own sweats. Jihoon places a hesitant kiss on your neck. “Baby?” You question, tone teasing as your hand slides further up his back.

“Is it okay if I call you that?” He pulls his face away from your neck to ask the question. His eyes are searching your face for any discomfort.

“Call me whatever you like.” The hand on his back reaches the back of his neck, and you pull him in carefully for another kiss. This time, the sensuality is gone. It’s hungry.

You almost crave Jihoon’s small noises; crave the way he rolls his hips into you, crave (what you just realized) how fucking hard he is. The feeling of grinding against something with shape feels infinitely better. It makes your head spin a little at the realization; that you’d (at least right now) much rather have Jihoon on your lap than any woman.

You lick into his mouth, arm slipping out of his shirt, down his back and up to his face to hold it. You kiss him like you’re starving, or maybe it’s because you may never have the opportunity to do so again. He moans into your mouth, fingers catching on your shirt as he tugs it softly.

Your tongues fight back and forth in a perfect rhythm, sucking, nipping, biting at each other. You squeeze his ass a little harder, delivering a soft slap to it. Jihoon yelps into your mouth and you know you’ve got him right where you need him. Through your dreams about him, you’ve deducted that he might be submissive, and you can feel his control slipping away from him as you keep grabbing and kissing him.

The hand on his face falls, and you test your luck by placing your hand on top of your dick, palm up, when he lifts his hips. On the down motion, his cock makes contact with your hand and he breaks. More precum leaks from his cock, leaving a slight sheen on your hand. You give an experimental squeeze through his sweats and he moans loudly into your mouth, teeth clashing into yours before he pulls away.

“Fuck, I-I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” He pants, leaning his forehead against yours as he lets out a breathy laugh. You place a soft kiss to his jaw, craning your neck slightly to reach the area.

“Isn’t that the goal?” You ask, carefully giving a soft squeeze to his cock. He hisses softly, back arching.

“Well, yeah, but I-I gotta teach you.” Despite his subtle protest, he still pushes his hips down into your palm. You pull your hand away, letting your thumb rest on the hem of his sweatpants. You carefully push the single digit under the band, nail brushing against his v-line.

Jihoon pulls his bottom lip into his teeth, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. He goes to speak again, but for some reason can’t figure out what to say.

“If you’re gonna teach me, then tell me what to do. Tell me how to make you feel good.” You push your hand further down his hips, to his lower stomach and into the hem of his boxers. You can feel the heat from his cock radiating against your fingers. He shivers.

“Fuck. Gonna teach you how to suck dick.” Jihoon shifts, getting off your lap. Your hand slips back out of his pants, lingering on his waist. “Get on your knees for me.” He sits on his knees on the couch, before shifting to sit normally.

You do as he says, letting go of him to slide off the couch and onto your knees right in between his legs. He moans softly at the sight of you in this position, hands itching to touch you. Jihoon shifts forward. You rest your chin on his lower thigh, eyes wide as you wait for instructions on what to do. He doesn’t speak, just runs a hand through your hair as he gets his bearings. “You’ve gotten a blow job before right?” Jihoon asks breathlessly.

“Yes, I’ve had my dick sucked before.” You laugh softly, leaning into his touch. He looks completely fucked out already; face and neck flushed and you know it’s reached the top of his chest from all the times he’s thrown off his shirt after getting home from the gym.

“Then I won’t give you much instruction. Just feel it out. You know what feels good, so just go based off of that.” He brushes your cheek with his thumb. You nod, shifting to get closer to his lap. Now on your knees, you can really see how hard he is. His erection is straining against his sweatpants and it’s big. Jihoon’s size is a little intimidating, especially for a first time, and it’s not even out in the open. You carefully run a hand up his thigh, back to the band of his sweats, fully ready to pull them off him if he lets you, but then you stall for a second.

You move your face from its spot on his thigh, hovering right over his dick before you lean down and place a careful kiss to it over the fabric. Jihoon moans loudly, fist tightening in your hair. You nuzzle your face into his erection, giving him some kind of friction as you continue to work him up.

He swears loudly, lips parting as his breath quickens. You have the benefit of the doubt here; you know what feels good, your favourite ways past partners have treated you before going down on you, and you hope Jihoon likes similar things. He looks so pretty like this, and you feel some precum leak from your tip as your cock twitches at the realization.

You use both hands to push his shirt and sweater up. You place a trail of kisses up his cock to his stomach before you kiss the skin of his abs. Kissing almost pure muscle is different from the soft skin you’re used to. Somehow, you think you like it a little bit better when you sink your teeth into one of the ridges, sucking a mark into his abs.

Jihoon moans, pulling at your hair, hips bucking up off the couch. His sweater stays in place pushed up his torso as your hands move back down to his sweats. He lifts his hips off the cushions to help you. You pull his sweats down, boxers slipping further down his waist but not coming off. You take the opportunity to palm him through his boxers once his sweats are at his ankles, fully getting a feel for how hard and big he is. He’s not as thick as you are, but there’s still significant weight to his cock.

He’s hard and leaking, moans slipping past his lips as you continue to suck marks into his abs, trailing further and further down. you squeeze his cock, other hand toying with the hem of his boxers. His hips buck up again, a whine slipping past his lips. “Fuck, take them off please.” You laugh at the desperation in his voice. “It hurts.” He hisses, and you know, just by how tight they are on him that it does hurt, so you pull them down to his ankles.

His cock hits your neck as it springs free. You pull away from him, sitting back on your knees, hands rubbing his thighs. He shivers again, hand still in your hair as he pets it softly. “Scary?” He asks, voice soft.

“Yeah. I’m a little intimidated.” You laugh nervously, and he brushes your cheek again in reassurance.

“Just take your time. If you’re not feeling it, we can stop. I don’t expect you to deep throat me with your gag reflex being so bad, but just feel it out.” You laugh again, this time less nervous at his word. He’s right about the gag reflex though. He’s heard you gag from holding your toothbrush in your mouth for too long. Sucking dick is uncharted territory.

You lick your hand, wetting it to wrap it around his cock. Your hand shakes as it makes first contact with his cock, giving a slow, careful pump up his entire length. Jihoon closes his eyes as he moans, head falling back. “Fuck, sorry, it’s been a while since anyones touched me.” He lets out a breathy laugh, thighs shaking softly. You give another gentle stroke to his cock, milking the precum out of him on the upstroke. You can’t help yourself as your other hand falls down to his inner thigh, nails raking over the skin. He moans again, lip tucked in between his teeth.

“You’re so sensitive.” You coo, pushing his thighs further apart. “Legs up.” You prompt. Jihoon opens his eyes, lids heavy with lust as he stares at you.

“Put your legs up for me, pretty. I’m gonna eat you out.” You lean forward, kissing his upper thigh. Your face brushes against his cock, which you’re slowly working with one of your hands. He swears again, doing as you say. His sweats and boxers fall off his ankles and onto the floor. Your grip on his cock releases for a few seconds as you pull his hips further to the edge of the couch.

“Didn’t know you were into that.” He gasps softly when your hand wraps back around him.

“I’ve eaten ass before, angel. At least I know I can make you feel good this way.” The pet name of choice does something to Jihoon; he whines softly, desperately at the suggestion. Settled where you need to be, you lean down, flattening your tongue as you stick it out. His hole is pink and tight, perfectly smooth like the rest of him.

You knew Jihoon liked to shave, preferred to be hairless partially because of his idol image, but you now knew it extended to part of his personal care. There was not a single hair in sight, which was good for you. Part of your anxiety around men in general was the presence of hair. Getting your own hair in your mouth was something you hated, and so getting another person's hair in your mouth during an intimate moment was something that scared you more than it should have.

You lean down further, licking a long strip over his entrance. Immediately, his hips are bucking up, cock pushing itself further up into your hand which had stalled its movements as you assessed the situation. His balls hit your face, perfect and round; full. He whines softly, every last strand of his feigned dominance dissolving with the first intrusion of your tongue. You repeat the motion several times, getting him nice and wet before you start circling his entrance with your tongue.

Jihoon’s little noises pick up in volume and frequency, breathing growing frantic on top of you. He’s tense, something isn’t great for you to work your magic, so you pull away briefly. “Just relax, angel. You’re too tense right now.” You murmur into the skin of his ass. He exhales a shaky breath, relaxing his muscles as he leans back into the couch, now laying down with his weight resting on his arms so he can still watch you.

With his body more relaxed, you go back to rimming him before you carefully prod his entrance with your tongue. The hand on his cock starts moving again, jerking him off slowly. Your nose presses into his perineum as you start to push your tongue into him and his hand is back in your hair, grip tightening as you start to fuck him with your tongue.

You never did mind eating ass; if it was what your partner wanted, you’d do it. But eating Jihoon out has got to be the single hottest thing you’ve ever done. His moans are so breathy and desperate that all you can think about right now is making him feel good. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. So good with your mouth, shit.” He babbles, voice shaking as he speaks.

You keep fucking him open with your tongue, flicking it up inside him, despite the tight muscles protest. His cock is leaking nonstop now, slick precum meeting your palm as you continue to stroke him slowly, going base to tip. Your lips suction around his hole as you push your tongue in and out, picking up speed. Jihoon’s hips buck once again before he's whining out a warning. You pull your tongue out of him, sitting back on your knees as you let go of his cock. His eyes are wide in disbelief at you ripping his orgasm away from him.

“What the fuck?” He blinks a few times.

“I still need to suck you off.” Is all you offer, before Jihoon’s placing his feet back on the floor, using the hand in his hair to pull you closer to his cock. His eyes flicker, darkening, appearing sharper as he leans down to kiss you, tongue lapping at the inside of your mouth to taste himself on you. He pulls away, out of breath, leaving you slightly dazed at the shift in his demeanour.

The brief display of dominance is gone when he sees you staring at his cock, lips parting slightly as you try and calculate your first move. “Take your time. I know it’s scary.” His hand in your hair pets it softly, moving a few pieces out of your face. You shift forward, taking it back into your hand, thinking back to all the times you’ve gotten head before.

You start with what’s familiar, opening your mouth to pull one of his balls into your mouth. You never thought a dick could be pretty, but Jihoon is proof that this can happen. It’s perfectly straight, long and thick with a pretty pink tip. His balls are round and smooth; everything about his body seems to work with each other. You make eye contact with him as your lips wrap around his balls, tongue darting out to lick at the skin. He moans softly, hand pushing your hair out of your face. His own hair is covering parts of his face, a pure testament to how long it's gotten.

You switch your attention to his other ball once you’re satisfied with your work, repeating the same set of actions. Then it’s time to get to the main star of the show; his cock, which is painfully hard in your hand. You pull off his balls with a sharp pop, taking a few seconds to psych yourself up. You start by licking a long stripe up his shaft, hands settling on his thighs. His hand in your hair releases itself to give you more mobility. Once you reach his tip, you place a soft kiss over his head. His precum coats your lips, and you lick it off hesitantly. It’s salty, but there’s an undertone to it that’s sweet. It’s not unpleasant. Jihoon moans at the sight of you fully tasting him, hand back in your hair with his grip much less tight.

You open your mouth to take him in, breathing out as your eyes close to calm your gag reflex that you can already feel preemptively acting up. “Relax your jaw. It’s easier to open your mouth wider if you’re not so tense.” He suggests quietly. “It’s like singing vowels, relax the back of your throat and you won’t strain so much.” Musically speaking, it makes it easier to follow his instructions. You do as he instructs, opening your mouth as you use your hand to guide his cock into your mouth.

Jihoon’s tip hits your tongue, the taste of his precum filling your mouth as more leaks out of his head. You close your lips around his tip, sucking softly on it, eliciting a loud moan from Jihoon. With your jaw relaxed, you take him a little further into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. What is entirely unexpected is the way your mouth seems to water around him. The excess spit makes it easier to slide him further into your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you start to slowly bob your head.

Jihoon pushes your hair back from your forehead, lips parted as breathy moans slip past them constantly. “Use your hand to get what you can’t fit in your mouth.” You do as he says, stroking the bigger half of his cock that isn’t inside your mouth. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’ve got almost half.” If anyone else was to tell you this, it may have seemed a bit condescending, but it’s Jihoon and you know he's being sincere in his praises. You moan around him softly, the vibration completely unexpected. It makes Jihoon buck his hips before he stops himself. “Fuck, sorry.” He pants, a shaky laugh following his apology.

Only after he praises you do you fully realize how fucking hard you are. You remove your other hand from his thigh to slot it inside your sweats, fingers sneaking under the hem of your boxes as you wrap your hand around your leaking cock. The relief is immediate, making you moan again around him. You go back to focusing on him, head bobbing a little faster, taking a little more until his tip is close to kissing the back of your throat. You quicken your own hand, squeezing once you get to your tip with each pump of your fist.

Jihoon doesn’t stop watching you, and it’s only when your eyes roll back slightly that he realizes the reason your hand left its place on his thigh. “Are you touching yourself, baby?” He asks, voice shaky. For some reason, he can’t seem to stabilize it. You do your best to nod as you read the tip of his cock as you bob your head. His grip on your hair tightens again as he moans out a string of explicits.

You take too much on the way down, Jihoon’s tip hitting the back of your throat, and you gag hard, pulling all the way off his cock. Jihoon immediately rubs your cheek with his thumb, wiping at the small tears that had gathered in your eyes at the force of your gag reflex activating. “Careful, baby. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” You laugh weakly, panting softly.

“Sorry. I didn’t think that would be so aggressive. I’m okay.” You reassure him, voice a little scratchy and face burning in embarrassment. He smiles, a little fucked out and weak as he wipes away the few tears left in your eyes.

“Don’t be sorry. It happens.” He coos, eyes softening at the flush spreading over your face. You take a few seconds to catch your breath before your mouth is back around his cock, a new sense of determination in your movements as a way to redeem yourself from that embarrassment. Jihoon’s eyes roll back in his head again, more soft moans and whimpers slipping past his lips as he realizes how loud he's being.

You keep up this pace, fist tightening around your own cock as you stroke the rest of his. Jihoon moans lowly. “Fuck, just like that. Just like that, baby.” He hisses through his teeth, eyes shut tight as he resists the urge to fuck himself into your mouth. “Shit, I'm close.” His fist in your hair goes to pull you off of him so he can finish, but you keep sucking, suddenly feeling the need to swallow his load.

He swears again, thighs shaking as he tries to push his orgasm away for a few more seconds to give you time to pull off. When you don't, his fist in your hair pulls you down onto him. His free hand curls into the fabric of his sweater, gripping it harshly as he tugs at it. His hips jerk slightly, cock twitching in your mouth as the first drops of his orgasm hit your tongue. He cums into your mouth, high whines and moans slipping past his lips as his eyes screw shut. You keep sucking him through it, swallowing his load as it fills your mouth. Jihoon cums hard, cock twitching as you suck out every last drop.

When he’s finished, you pull off, dropping your hand from his cock. You sit on your knees, giving him time to calm down from his high. Now with nothing else to focus on, your movements on your own cock quicken. With your lip between your teeth, you bite back the shame bubbling in your stomach from being on your knees, jerking yourself off in front of another man who’s dick you just sucked and ass you just tongue fucked.

Jihoon bounces back quickly, leaning forward to pull you up to the couch. You let him guide you up and onto the couch, before he’s slipping off the couch himself, sweater falling down to barely cover his ass as he falls to his knees. Wordlessly, his hands grab at your sweats, one hand rubbing your erection over the fabric. “You don’t have to.” You breathe out, though the way your hips jolt is a direct contradiction to your statement.

Jihoon shakes his head softly. “Wan’ to.” His eyes zero in on the massive bulge in front of him, and he starts to pull your sweats down, boxers caught under his fingers to go with them. You lift your hips to help him out, cock slapping your stomach as it springs free.

Jihoon’s jaw visibly drops at the sight of your cock out in the open. He spits in his hand, the sound lewd and unashamed. Jihoon wraps it around your head, squeezing softly. You watch him intently.

Generally speaking, you’ve never really paid attention to someone’s hand on your cock. That was before Jihoon, apparently, because you can’t seem to pull your eyes away from the way his slender fingers look wrapped around your thick, painfully hard, cock. His knuckles are blushed, nails perfectly trimmed, group ring glistening in the dim light of the television which has paused from the episode ending, and his spit. He gives you a few pumps before he takes you into his mouth.

Jihoon gets about halfway before he pulls back up, tongue swirling around your head before he’s on his way back down, taking you even further. He does it again, this time opening his throat to take you deeper. You moan lowly at the tightness of his throat, hand finding its place in his long, dark hair. You push his bangs back, which are overgrown and in his eyes.

Jihoon’s plush lips look so full with your cock in between them, red from kissing him and biting them to silence his moans. His big eyes are focused on you, and if there was anything that got you going, it was eye contact. He swirls his tongue around your tip again, cheeks hollowing on the way down before he takes you into his throat, all the way from tip to base.

Your other hand finds his head, brushing back the other side of his hair, before you close your eyes and buck your hips up, swearing quietly. Your cock twitches as Jihoon tightens his throat around you. You hold his head there, leaving your cock all the way down his throat. “Fuck, angel, I’m gonna cum.” You slur, head falling back into the couch as your cock twitches again, the first drops of your orgasm sliding down his throat.

Jihoon resumes bobbing his head, now not pulling all the way off like he was doing before. Another deep moan slips past your lips before your orgasm washes over you like a hot tidal wave. It’s probably the hardest you’ve cum in a long time, a result of the most mind blowing head you’ve probably ever received. Jihoon pulls back, getting your cock out of his throat to taste your release. He keeps sucking, milking your cock dry before he swallows every last drop.

Jihoon pulls his mouth off your cock with a lewd, wet pop. He finds his boxers on the floor, slipping them back on before he sits beside you on the couch. Your face is red and burning with your orgasm, but also with a little shame. You quickly lean over to pull your sweatpants and boxers back up, avoiding eye contact with Jihoon at all costs. “Talk to me. What’s going on right now?” Jihoon’s voice is soft, careful as if you’re a shattered glass only hanging on by the force of gravity.

“Guilt, mostly. A little shame. Nothing you've done; I’m just processing.” Jihoon nods carefully, whole body tense at the way your voice is shaking, like you might be close to tears. You can feel that familiar knot grow in your throat, and you might actually cry.

“C’mon, it’s late. Let's go to bed.” Jihoon ushers, grabbing your hand to pull you up off the couch. You follow him silently, television forgotten as he leads you down the hall to your bedrooms.

You pull away from him as you reach your room, but his grip on your hand tightens. “Wh–” You sputter, before he interjects swiftly.

“You just went through something that’s gonna be really rough to acknowledge later. I’m not gonna let you do that alone; you’re staying with me tonight. Unless you really do want to be alone.” Jihoon’s thumb rubs a soothing circle into the back of your hand, and you know he’s right. You let him pull you into his bedroom, let him pull the covers back on his bed, let him pull you under the covers with him. You watch him roll over to turn the lamp off before he’s curling himself into your chest, hand finding the side of your neck to rub your nape softly in reassurance.

It’s unspoken, the comfort he’s giving you right now. You lean forward to press a kiss to his lips as a thank you for understanding just how confusing things are, how jumbled your thoughts are right now. “I’m sorry. Things feel kinda funky inside my head right now, but I think I’m okay.” You kiss him again, arm wrapping around his waist.

“I wish I could help more.” He sighs, reconnecting your lips after his statement. “Do you feel any regret?” He asks hesitantly.

It’s your turn to kiss him again. “Regret? No, no. I think I’m just reevaluating a lot of things right now.” Another soft kiss. “Scared at how much I actually enjoyed that, yes.” Another one.

“You did really well.” Another. “Scared the shit out of me when you gagged though.” Jihoon laughs softly, fatigue starting to set in. You kiss him again as a small apology for scaring him.

“You think so?” You ask, suddenly embarrassed at his praises. Another kiss.

“You did good.” Jihoon delivers a weak, playful punch to your chest, before he kisses you again.

“I can’t fucking believe you deep throated me.” You laugh quietly, slightly exasperated as you recall the way he had you cumming in mere minutes. You kiss him softly.

“I don’t really have a gag reflex.” He giggles softly, yawning. Another kiss. The conversation continues like this, alternating between words and kisses until both of you are too tired to do either. As Jihoon’s breathing evens out, you feel your chest tighten in a way it never has before. He nuzzles his face into your chest softly, hair pushing its way into your face. His shampoo overwhelms your senses and the tightening gets worse.

This, objectively, changes everything. You can’t exactly place the tightness, but it’s familiar in the same way Jihoon is when you come home to him every night. Maybe it’s the warmth of your orgasm, or maybe it’s the warmth of Jihoon himself as you hold him in your arms as he sleeps. Whatever it is, it’s an issue for the morning. You’re too tired to pinpoint it, and so you let yourself succumb to it, drifting off surrounded by overwhelming safety.

a/n: yes this is named after a hozier song. i've seen/am seeing him twice in the last year, once last tour once this tour (in two different cities). he is the epitome of gay yearning so... yeah. part two?? part three??? part four??? i have so many thoughts abt this anon ask that im considering making it a full series maybe.

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ghoul-slime · 8 months ago

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Mushy May Day 16 - Cooking A Special Recipe (Aether/Dew)

Whoops, this is late as hell, but here it is anyway! Thank you again @forlorn-crows for organizing Mushy May! And @ghuleh-recs for the cute dividers <3

Day 16: Cooking A Special Recipe - Aether/Dew, no real warnings here, just some briefly suggested sexual content and happy tears. 2442 words.

Aether wakes up alone, the warm, purring fire ghoul that normally occupied the other side of his bed nowhere to be found. Usually, Dew preferred to sleep in, burrowing himself beneath the blankets and into Aether’s arms for as long as possible - especially now, having just returned from a long, grueling world tour only a few weeks ago.

He showers and pops into the kitchen, somewhat surprised to find it empty. Usually the rest of the pack congregated there to eat breakfast and get ready for the day. He shoots Dew a text to see where he might have gone off to so early in the day, but despite his message being marked as “read” after only a few moments, Dew never responds.

Aether begins to suspect something is up, though as far as he remembers today wasn’t any sort of special occasion, it wasn’t anybody’s summoning day or any kind of special clergy ceremony day either. His suspicions were only confirmed when Phantom had pulled him away to the practice room later that morning, telling Aether that he really needed help perfecting one of his solos and that no, it really could not wait until tomorrow.

And no, he definitely did not know where Dewdrop might be this morning…

As a matter of fact, now that Aether thinks about it, Dew had been being a little secretive about something for the better part of a week now, and that whatever it was, it probably also involved Mountain.

Phantom, for as hard as he was trying, was not very good at acting casual at all, shifty eyes and stuttered words betraying his nerves as he kept asking Aether to run him through the song over and over. Aether was happy to play along, but after nearly two hours his stomach was starting to rumble, and he let the younger quintessence ghoul know he needed a break from their lessons for the day.

But just as Aether starts to make his way down the hall towards the kitchen for a snack, Phantom grabs his arm in a wide-eyed panic.

“Aether, please? Just show me one more time?” he begs. When Aether hesitates to oblige he switches gears. “Oh! Aether, my guitar is out of tune! Actually, maybe we should just restring the whole thing! That should take a while - maybe you can help me with that!!” He tries his best to yank Aether by the arm back towards the practice room.

Swiss appears around the corner just at the right time.

“Hey little bug, mind if I borrow the big guy here for a while?” he ruffles Phantom’s hair before slinging his arm around Aether’s shoulder and steering him back towards the dorms. Away from Phantom - and away from the kitchen, Aether notices with a sigh.

Swiss pulls Aether into his room and shuts the door with a click behind him. There, he’s greeted by the sight of Rain sitting cross-legged on Swiss’ bed in a pair of the multi-ghoul’s boxers and an oversized shirt. He smiles sweetly and gives Aether a shy little wave.

But just as he’s about to politely excuse himself to find a snack to calm his rumbling stomach, Swiss hands him a banana, seemingly pulled out of thin air.

“Thought you might be hungry after being held captive by Phantom all afternoon,” he says with a grin. “And thought it might be useful as a bribe for you to do us a little favor,” he adds.

“Uh, sure,” Aether concedes, already peeling open his prize and taking a bite. “What is it?”

“Well see, our little tadpole here woke up with a bit of a sore neck after his nap this afternoon. He didn’t want me to say anything, but I thought you might be able to give him a little bit of a quintessence zap to help him feel better. Loosen him up for some of the activities the two of us have planned for later,” Swiss answers. “Isn’t that right, Rainy?”

Rain just answers with a shy little smile and a shrug, perfectly punctuated with the slightest little wince and a delicately pained hiss at the movement of his supposedly sore neck.

Aether sighs, shoves the remainder of the banana into his mouth, tosses the peel into the trash, and motions for Rain to make room for him on the bed.

“You’re a pal, Aeth,” Swiss says with a shark-like grin, and claps Aether on the shoulder.

Aether’s stomach rumbles loudly in response.

Forty-five minutes later and Aether excuses himself, leaving behind a very sleepy and blissed out water ghoul dozing on Swiss’ bed. He hears the lock click behind him as soon as he shuts the door.

Finally, Aether resumes his search for Dew, only for Cumulus’ door to swing open suddenly the moment he passes in front of it. Aether jumps, startled out of his thoughts.

“Oh, Aether! Just the guy I wanted to see,” Cumulus coos at him. “Didn’t scare you, did I love?” she asks, with a curious little head tilt.

Aether shakes his head no and asks what it is he can help her with, coaxing a smile across his face. Normally he loves helping his pack with whatever they might need, but for whatever reason, today it feels like he’s the most in-demand ghoul in the entire abbey. And he still hasn’t managed to have lunch or figure out where Dew snuck off to.

Hours later and Aether flops down on his bed with a sigh. After Cumulus had wrangled him to help her and Aurora build a new set of shelves for their ever-expanding record collection, Papa had called for him and said he’d needed help with some paperwork. Taxes, he’d explained, but really Aether had spent over an hour helping Papa rummage through a stack of old boxes looking for some sort of paperwork while Sister watched from her desk with a disapproving frown.

Eventually Papa dismissed him. They never did find whatever mystery paper he was looking for.

Just as he thought he was home free for the day, Cirrus and Sunny had swooped in and dragged him out to the garden to watch the sunset with them. They sat on either side of him, clinging to his arms and chatting as the sun slowly sank below the horizon, bathing the sky in beautiful hues of pink and gold. Aether had zoned out just a bit, mind wandering off as he wondered why Dew wasn’t out there with them, watching it too.

Now that he was finally back in his room, he’d all but given up on finding the little fire ghoul. It was nearly dinnertime anyway, he’d see him at the table when the whole pack sat down to eat.

He texts Mountain, “Hey Mount, I’m starving, what’s for dinner tonight?” and after a second he adds, “By the way, have you seen Dew running around anywhere today?”

Mountain responds immediately. “Sorry, didn’t have time to cook. Everyone’s on their own tonight.” He ignores the question about Dew altogether.

Aether raises an eyebrow at Mountain’s uncharacteristically terse response. He pulls up Dew’s contact and sends another message. “Dew, you hungry? Looks like we’re fending for ourselves tonight, lol.” He stares at the screen holding his breath, waiting for Dew to answer. After a few minutes his message gets marked as read, but after a few minutes more he still gets no answer.

Aether frowns at his phone. Between Mountain’s short response and Dew seemingly ignoring him, he’s starting to feel a little hurt. With another sigh he drags himself up and makes his way out of his room, heading towards the kitchen to try and forage for something quick to satisfy his empty stomach for the night.

But as soon as he turns down the hall, he smells something delicious. He can hear movement in the kitchen too, the clanging of pots and pans, the sound of glassware being moved around, someone turning the sink on and then back off. The closer he gets the stronger and more delicious the aroma grows, something warm and savory and familiar, though he can’t put his finger on what it is just yet.

Aether opens the door to the kitchen to find the missing ghoul in question standing in front of the stove with his hands on his slender hips. He turns around with a smile on his face.

“There you are,” Dew grins, bright and beautiful. “Was wondering how long before you broke free and found your way here.” Dew laughs. His hair is tied up in a little bun high on his head, thin golden wisps falling out and framing his face. Aether can see his black band tee spotted here and there with white powder, flour, he thinks. Dew wipes his hands, freshly washed and still dripping, onto his jeans.

“I gotta hand it to them, Papa and the rest of the pack did a pretty damn good job at keeping you away from the kitchen all day,” Dew chuckles, looking at Aether with those bright, golden eyes, sparkling with mirth. “You must be starving by now though, this took way longer than I expected it would, sorry Aeth.” Dew strides up to him and lays a hand on his belly in apology, standing up on his tiptoes and looking up expectantly at Aether for a kiss.

Aether leans down to peck the little ghoul on the lips before taking in the spread before him. The dinner table is set for two and completely full of beautifully plated food. It takes Aether a moment before it starts to dawn on him. He looks back at Dew with wide eyes.

“Dew, did you make all this? Is this all from…?” he trails off, having a hard time believing the sight before him.

Dew grins again, pressing himself against Aether’s side. “Our favorite restaurant? Yep, Mountain helped me recreate all the recipes the best we could. Not sure how accurate it all turned out, but it tastes pretty damn good if I do say so myself.” Dew stands proud as Aether takes it all in.

The table is absolutely packed with familiar dishes. Barbecued lamb chops and skewered meats with herbs sitting atop a mountain of aromatic rice pilaf, glistening with butter. There’s a plate full of absolutely gigantic stuffed cabbage rolls, swimming in tomato sauce with a heaping spoonful of sour cream piled into the center. A basket stacked full of freshly baked bread and a ramekin of what Aether knows right away is the same exact delicious dill butter that Aether had eaten so many times in the past. There are huge salads full of fresh, beautiful vegetables and chunks of goat cheese. Bowls of roasted eggplant, vinegared beets, and potato salad with hard boiled eggs and bright green peas.

Dew had lovingly recreated all of Aether’s favorite things from their favorite restaurant. It was their date night spot - a place they absolutely had to stop at every time they were out on the road on tour and passing through town. A place he’d enjoyed with Dew many times over years.

Up until this past year, at least…

“Just didn’t feel right going there without you this year, Aeth,” Dew looks up at him, a little sad. “It’s not the same. Doesn’t taste as good when you’re not there.”

Aether stands there in stunned silence when the oven dings behind him. Dew scrambles for the oven mitts and calls over his shoulder as he pulls out something bubbling and shuts the door with a bump of his hip, “Sit down and start helping yourself. Everything’s ready now.”

Dew sets down one more plate in front of him - a huge, toasted gondola of soft baked bread filled in the center with bubbling cheese and a perfectly cooked poached egg with a golden, runny yolk. He mixes the egg and cheese together methodically with a serious look on his face, before cutting a thick slice and setting it, gooey, stretchy cheese and all, into the center of Aether’s plate.

“Eat!” Dew insists, and Aether almost doesn’t even know where to start. He goes for a lamb chop and sets it down on his plate.

“Oh, and I thought - oh,” Dew goes to say something again but he’s cut off by a choked sound.

Aether can’t help it, he lets out a strangled sob, hands coming up to cover his face, unable to hold it all back as fat tears start rolling down his cheeks.

Dew looks on in stunned silence, horrified as Aether cries into his lamb chops.

“Sorry, Dew,” Aether hiccups out, struggling to apologize between shuddered breaths as he desperately tries to calm himself down. “I just… I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” He wipes the tears from his face with one of the fancy cloth napkins Dew had set out for him.

“Thank you… I just. Thank you so much,” he looks up at the fire ghoul with a devastated look on his face. And then Dew is swooping in, cradling Aether’s head to his chest while he sniffles into the fabric of his shirt.

Dew just shakes his head gently, petting Aether’s hair, waiting patiently for his breathing to even out. “Anything for you, Aeth.” He kisses the quintessence ghoul sweetly between the horns. “Seriously, I’d do anything for you,” he says quietly.

Aether squeezes him around the middle and pulls himself away, wiping the last of the tears from his face. For a moment, they just look at each other fondly.

“Oh!” Dew exclaims, bounding over to the refrigerator and rummaging around inside. He turns around, holding up two glass bottles of something with a bright, almost neon green liquid inside with a triumphant grin plastered across his face.

“Holy shit, no way! You even got the tarragon soda?!” Aether exclaims, wiping away one last rogue tear threatening to fall. Dew unscrews the cap of one bottle and hands it to Aether, beaming.

“Yep! Swiss and I convinced the owners to sell us a couple of bottles to take home. Snuck them through customs and everything,” Dew announces proudly, crossing his hands in front of his chest.

Aether manages to make it through the rest of dinner without crying.

Later, they sit pressed together on the couch with a hot cup of cardamom tea, passing a slice of the honey cake Dew made for dessert back and forth while the rest of the pack feasts on dinner leftovers back in the kitchen.

Dew is still beaming, and Aether basks in it all with a full belly and a warm heart.

(Here's the restaurant in question. Khachapuri there so good it changed my life.)

#mushy may 2024 #dewther #aether x dew #aether/dew #aether x dewdrop #aether/dewdrop #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #ghost band fanfic #ghoul-slime fic #ghoul-slime mushy may 2024

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crazyunsexycool · 1 year ago

Text

The love we gave away

Chapter 5

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut!, oral (f receiving), sad reader, bit of asshole Ransom

A/N: so here is the next chapter. I’m sorry I guess 😬

Series Masterlist

Song that Faith and reader sing along to

The sun was out providing warmth and another bright day. A light breeze kept you cool enough as you sat on the balcony on the last floor of the hotel you were staying at. It was the perfect place to relax, take in the view and enjoy the free time and inspiration as you sketched new designs. You were waiting for Faith to show up for brunch in your room but you also knew she was a bit on the drunk side when you last saw her.

It was another half hour before Faith finally showed up followed by hotel staff carting food. You had them set everything up out on the balcony and tipped them as they left. Faith groaned as she walked out to the balcony with her huge sunglasses and loungewear on. She plopped herself on one of the chairs and grabbed a strawberry.

“Did you have a good night last night?” You tease.

“Did you?”

“I did, I slept great.”

“With Ransom as your body pillow of course.” Faith smiles.

“Nope. All by myself.”

“Say just kidding right now.” Faith takes off her sunglasses so that you’ll look her in the eyes. “But you were all over each other yesterday. And don’t think I forgot about you telling me everything about your meetup in New York.” She says as she pours herself a cup of coffee.

“Yeah well, we actually met up for the first time a few weeks ago.”

“You’re playing with me.”

“Nope.”

“How did it happen? Why did you guys meet up?” She leans forward and places all of her attention on you once she sees your brilliant smile.

You grabbed your phone and searched for something before turning it toward Faith. She studied the photo for a moment before it clicked. Faith screamed as she grabbed your phone and stared at the picture of the twins you had pulled up.

“How? I mean look at them. They’re beautiful. When did this happen? You have to tell me everything.”

So you did. Over brunch you explained everything that had happened from the moment the twins showed up in your life until now.

“Wow. I mean that’s amazing. So when can I meet my niece and nephew?”

“We can get together when you get back from your honeymoon.”

“Perfect. What about you and Ransom?”

“What about us?” You ask as you pop a grape into your mouth.

“Don’t play dumb it doesn’t suit you. It’s obvious you guys still have feelings for each other. Just the way you looked at each other.” She sighs.

“Nothings going to happen. I mean he has a girlfriend.”

Faith perks up at your statement and then she grins. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“They broke up. Why do you think he’s here alone?”

“I don’t know, I thought she’d fly in today or tomorrow.”

“This is perfect. You’ll be back together before the wedding is over. I can feel it.” Faith does a little happy dance in her seat.

“Well I’m not getting my hopes up. Now let’s go try on your dress.”

You both get up and head to the separate room the dress was being held in. Faith gets into the dress with a little bit of your help and you make notes to add a few finishing touches.

The day went by quicker than you would have liked. The rehearsal dinner was fantastic and now everyone was meeting in the lobby to catch a party bus to go out to a club or two. It wasn’t really your thing but considering you were with people you knew and Faith badgering you to go you got dressed.

In the lobby you were one of the last people down. You wore a gold sequin bodycon mini dress, matching gold stilettos, your hair was down and your makeup was simple with bold lipstick. As your heels clicked against the tiled floor you saw Ransom turn his head in your direction. His jaw went slack as he took you in. He took his time looking at the way the dress hugged your curves. When he finally made eye contact with you his eyes were dark and full of want.

Ransom was dressed in dark brown almost black dress pants and a short sleeve button up with an orange, black, cream and white design on it. He looked good and pulled off the look effortlessly.

“You look stunning.” He says as you get closer to him.

“Well you look quite handsome yourself.”

Heels click behind you as Faith and Scott appear. She was dressed in white and he was dressed in black. Everyone cheers for them as they lead the group outside. Ransom immediately sticks to your side. His hand on your lower back as he guides you to the party bus which could probably be seen from space with all the lights it had on.

Music is already blasting as you get in. Faith and a few of the bridesmaids are already dancing. You on the other hand decide to sit and Ransom follows your lead. His arm drapes behind you.

“Let’s take a picture.” You whisper in his ear and he nods. “I haven’t told the twins that we ran into each other.”

You pull your phone from the clutch you brought with you and Ransom leans in and waits for you to snap a few. Butterflies erupt in your belly as you look at them. You remember what Faith said to you about him being single now. When you look up she’s giving you a wicked grin and a thumbs up. With a quick message you send the kids a picture.

Abigail: You went together? 😱😱

Theodore: make good choices.

You explain to them that you didn’t know he would be there and that you would in fact be making good choices.

****

For the next three hours you go through the same routine. The bus comes to a stop at a club and everyone gets out, excited for the party to continue inside. The group skips the line and are escorted straight to the VIP section. It doesn’t take long for everyone to have drinks in their hands, yourself included. Soon after, Faith and the bridesmaids leave for the dance floor, dragging you along with them.

It doesn’t escape your notice how Ransom hangs out by the area that gives the best view to the dance floor. His eyes rarely leave you as you move around and sway your hips.

Eventually a slower song comes on at the club you’re currently in. It happens to be a song that you and Faith love.

🎶“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes.

You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry.

You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night.”🎶

You sing to each other at the top of your lungs as you sway. Faith looks over your shoulder and smiles before Scott steals her away. But before you can go, hands find their way to your hips. You’re ready to elbow whoever is grabbing you.

“It’s just me, Thimble.” Ransom’s breath tickles your ear as he pulls you into his chest.

Since he doesn’t make a move to leave you begin to dance. And if you decide to grind against him and he doesn’t complain, so what? You’re both single and you know there’s still something between you. For the first time in your life you’re going to take a chance on something. No more carefully calculated plans, just a carefree night and whatever happens, happens.

🎶“The distance and the time between us

It’ll never change my mind ’cause

Baby, I would die for you

Baby, I would die for you, yeah.” 🎶

Ransom sings just for you to hear as he moves with you. You turn your head so that you can look at him and he gives you a nod towards the exit. It’s more than a silent request to leave early but you still nod your head. Ransom smiles, like he did when he was younger. With no ulterior motive other than he’s genuinely happy, you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. You grab his hand and let him lead you out. Through the crowd you see Faith and smile before sending a wink in her direction. Last thing you see is her jumping up and down in celebration.

The ride back to the hotel is quick and the elevator ride up to your hotel suite is even faster. But it didn’t feel like it at times. None of it mattered though once the door to your suite closed and Ransom pressed you up against it. It had been the first time in a long time that you’ve kissed someone and even longer since you’ve kissed him.

A small moan escapes you as you feel Ransom’s hands everywhere. He’s possessive with his kiss, his tongue dominating yours. It’s obvious you both have more experience now. Ransom moves from your lips to your neck. He finds that spot that makes you weak while he moves a knee between your thighs. The pressure he applies is enough to get you hot and bothered.

“Ransom, please.” You say as your hands find their way to his hair and you tug.

He lifts you and carries you over to the bed without his lips leaving your skin. That all familiar ache that settled between your legs grows. Ransom lays you down softly on the bed. He gives you a quick kiss before standing back up and getting undressed until he’s only in his black boxer briefs.

“Do you want this?” He asks as he moves to hover over you.

“Yes.”

“Good because I don’t think I’d be able to leave now.” He says before he continues to kiss your chest, pulling down the top of your dress and immediately taking a nipple into his mouth.

His hand palms and kneads your other breast before alternating his attention. You whimper and writhe beneath him as your hands explore the expanse of his much more muscular frame. The experience was new but familiar. Both of you had matured and learned new things. Yet it felt like everything was the same. You’re brought back to the moment when you feel Ransom’s hands on your hips as he pushes up the skirt of your dress up. He groans as he observes you.

“Dirty girl,” he says when he realizes you weren’t wearing any underwear. Your breath hitches when his fingers travel through your folds. “No panties and you’re fucking soaked.”

“Panty lines would have ruined the look.” You shrug.

“Well you did look good. But now I’m going to ruin you. And I’m going to start by doing what I’ve thought about doing for the longest time.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to taste you.” He says as he settles between your legs.

Ransom starts by kissing your thighs until he reaches your center and then he dives right in. His lips wrap around your clit and he sucks hard and up until this moment you never realized how much you needed Ransom to eat you out. You can’t help the need you feel to push your pussy more into his face but it only seems to spur him on. He groans as he tastes you and you pull on his hair. His tongue moves from your clit to your weeping entrance and back before he adds a finger and pushes in. Ransom’s pace is quick and suddenly he adds a second finger while he continues to flick his tongue over your clit. Your orgasm is rapidly approaching and you feel like you’re on fire.

“Don’t stop. Please.” You say breathlessly. “Gonna come.”

“I can feel it, pretty girl. Doing so good. Be a good girl and come for me.” He commands and you do as you’re told.

Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. You have your eyes closed and your head thrown back in pleasure as you chant his name over and over. When you finally get a hold of your senses you realize Ransom is hovering over you again. This time he’s just watching you. A smile graces his lips and his eyes are full of that sweet and loving gaze he always held for you. It’s almost too much and not enough at the same time.

“You look so beautiful like this.” He murmurs against your lips. With the kiss you taste yourself in his tongue and you gasp.

You do your best to push him so that he’s laying on his back but he doesn’t budge and he chuckles when you roll your eyes. Finally he moves and watches you get rid of the dress which became more of a belt with how it was only around your waist. Vulnerability hits you suddenly. He hasn’t seen you since you were 17. Your body has definitely changed since then and since having the twins. All you want to do is cover yourself up. Ransom notices the sudden change in your demeanor and moves towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey, none of that.”

“I can’t help it. It’s been a while.” You confess.

“So what. C’mere.” He pulls you to stand between his legs. He immediately starts kissing your belly and the stretch marks that remained even after all this time. “You’re so beautiful, don’t hide from me. You gave me the most beautiful gift ever with this body.”

Ransom pulls you back to bed and he settles between your legs again. You can feel how hard he is against your thigh and you move your hand between both your bodies. His breath gets caught in his throat as you palm his hard cock through his underwear before pulling him out.

“Fuck.” He mutters as he ruts into your hand.

Ransom pulls away from you and you move with him. You have the intention of returning the favor. But he pushes you gently back against the bed and then grabs his pants. You give him a confused look until you see that he’s pulling a condom out. Ransom puts it on and is hovering over you again.

You look him straight in the eyes as you line him up and he pushes in. He moans with you as he bottoms out in one quick thrust.

“Still so fucking good. Best pussy I’ve ever had.” He mutters as he starts to move.

“Ran.”

“Tell me pretty girl. What do you want?”

“Faster, please.” You say. Your nails dig into his biceps as you hold on to him.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

Ransom pulls back until he’s kneeling between your legs. His hands are on your hips as he pulls you with him and his eyes never leave yours. Neither of you can break eye contact as he moves faster just like you asked. He hits your g-spot every time and the second orgasm of the night hits you quickly. You say his name over and over again until he’s kissing you.

His hands move from your hips and travel up your body until he’s holding yours over your head. You intertwine your fingers with his and the moment shifts from just getting pleasure to something more. His thrusts slow but are still hard.

“I missed you.” You say, a tear escapes you.

“I missed you too, baby.”

Neither can deny that the attraction is still there. That you still seek each other out for more than talking about the twins. Things between you were left unresolved but as you lay there underneath him you can’t ignore the emotions that bubble under the surface. The possible meaning of having sex after being apart for so long.

“Ransom. S’good.” You mutter between kisses.

“You gonna give me one more?” He looks down at you to find your beautifully blissed out face. “I can feel how tight you are. I know you can give me one more.”

One of his hands leaves yours and he shifts until he can start circling your clit. The added stimulation has your jaw slacking. You mewl and move your hips to meet his thrusts.

“Come with me. Please baby.” You whisper as he hides his face in your neck.

You shudder as Ransom thrusts faster and harder. He grunts against your skin and you know you’re both close to the edge. Your legs wrap around him as his hips stutter with a few more thrusts and you feel yourself being pulled over the edge with him. You can see stars and feel Ransom’s weight on you and nothing has felt better than this in a long time. After a minute of catching his breath Ransom reluctantly pulls out of you softly and lays down beside you.

“That was amazing.” You murmur.

“You’re welcome.”

“Shut up.” You lightly slap his chest as you chuckle.

You feel the bed shift and look to the side to see Ransom get up and go to the bathroom. When he comes back he has a damp hand towel in hand.

“I’m gonna clean you up thimble.”

You hiss at the over sensitivity as he cleans up the mess between your thighs but you thank him anyway. Then he pulls back the covers and lets you get comfortable before sliding in next you and pulling you into his chest. You both stayed awake, the conversation was minimal but Ransom keeps you close. Soon enough he’s kissing you again and you find yourselves wrapped up in each other. Over and over again.

It’s mid morning when you finally stir. There’s a hushed conversation happening as you stretch out in bed and an obvious empty spot next to you. However Ransom saunters in wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He says as he leans down and gives you a quick kiss on the lips. “Come on, get up. I ordered us some breakfast.”

You stretch again and this time the covers slide down and reveal your chest to him. He does nothing to hide his ogling.

“Maybe we can stay in bed for a few extra minutes.” He says as he moves to lay back down.

You laugh as you cover yourself up again by wrapping the sheets around you.

“Fine,” Ransom pouts. “But hurry up because the water is getting cold.”

“The water?”

Ransom smirks as he leads you to the huge ensuite bathroom where he had prepared a bath for you. There were rose petals floating on the water and the scent of rose and bergamot permeated in the air. The breakfast that Ransom had ordered was set up for easy reach from the bathtub and it was all bite size versions of your favorite foods.

Ransom gets in first and you drop your sheet and he holds a hand out to help you in. Once you’re settled and relaxed Ransom hands you a cup of coffee and he takes his own. You talk about the wedding and work. By the time the water was cold, breakfast was gone and you had to go finish the last few details on Faith’s dress.

“Are you free tonight?” Ransom asks as he stands at the door.

“I should be.”

“Good, I’ll pick you up at five-thirty.” He says before giving you a kiss and leaving before you can protest.

****

“You got dicked down.” Faith states as she walks in on you finishing up the last adjustment her dress needed.

You look over your shoulder and roll your eyes.

“I saw him walking out of your suite and toward the elevator. I knew you’d get back together.”

“Woah,” you raise a hand to stop her. “We had sex… multiple times. But we didn’t talk about getting back together.”

“What are you talking about? It’s inevitable. Your kids are back in your lives, you’re both single and successful. Nothing is getting in the way of you being together. If you don’t end up together right away, you will eventually.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” Faith nods as she looks over the dress one more time. “I’m the bride, I'm never wrong.”

“Why are you here? Didn’t you say you had a whole spa day planned?”

“I booked some things for you too.”

“But I’m adding-“

“The dress is already perfect. The only way it can be more perfect is by me wearing it, which I will, tomorrow. Now let’s go relax.” She pulls your hand as you put away the last of your sewing kit.

“Fine, let’s go.”

“Wow.” Ransom mutters as you open the door. “Stunning.”

You were wearing a simple navy sundress with small white flowers on it and sandals. Your hair was up and away from your face and you kept your makeup simple. Ransom wore a simple short sleeve button up shirt and dark jeans. He pulled you by the waist and kissed you.

“Ready to go?”

“Mhm.” You hummed wide eyed and slightly breathless. The things this man could do to you and you’d happily let him.

****

Ransom had led you to the docks where there was a wooden runabout boat waiting for you. He got in first and offered you his hand so that you could get in before you were whisked away.

You were kept on your toes and pleasantly surprised when the boat was docked at a private beach. Ransom led you further away from the dock and toward a picnic on the beach. It was just in time to watch the sunset.

“This is amazing.”

“Anything for you, thimble.” Ransom kissed your cheek once you settled next to him.

“I didn’t realize you were such a romantic.”

“What, was me climbing up to your dorm room to deliver the foods you were craving during your pregnancy not romantic enough?”

You smile at the memory of that. He did get in trouble more than once for sneaking out of the school grounds in the middle of the night but he never let you down. Those were some of your favorite memories. He would sneak into your room and sit with you and talked to the twins while you ate.

“It was very romantic, you’re right.”

“I know.” He smirked as he handed you a flute of champagne. “I know you don’t really drink but I thought we should celebrate.”

“And what are we celebrating?”

You look at him over the flute of champagne as you take a sip. His ocean blue eyes don’t leave your face for even a moment as he thinks over what he’s going to say. Ransom drinks his champagne in one go.

“Reuniting, meeting the twins, getting a chance to know them.” He starts rambling before he looks down at you. “This.” He says as his lips slot over your perfectly.

The champagne glasses are long forgotten on the picnic blanket as you move to straddle him. Ransom’s hands are lost under the skirt of your dress and you don’t waste any time in unbuttoning his shirt and then undoing his belt. He groans against your lips as you pull him out of his pants and begin to slowly move your hand up and down his hardened length.

“You’re so fucking wet baby.” He mutters as he runs his fingers through your folds.

“I want you.”

“Then take what you want.” Ransom says as he holds your panties to the side.

You line yourself up with his cock and sink down. He’s big so you have to go slow. Once he’s buried to the hilt you stay like that for a moment. Ransom kisses and nips all along your neck before pulling down your dress and taking a nipple into his mouth. As his tongue plays with your pebbled peak you begin to move. A slow roll of your hips here and there until Ransom can’t take it anymore. His hand comes down on your ass.

“Stop fucking teasing, and I know you liked me smacking your ass. I can feel the way this pretty pussy is gripping me.” He says with a growl. “Now move.”

You do as he says and you begin to bounce on his cock. Ransom brings his hands to your hips and he helps you move until he flips you so that he can hover over you. His hips move faster and harder against you. His and your moans mix with the waves lapping up against the shore and the breeze moving the tree branches. Your legs wrap around his waist as you try to pull him closer to you. That fire in your belly that only Ransom seems to ignite is spreading like wildfire and you know you’re close.

“Fuck, right there.” you moan as he hits your g-spot. “Don’t stop.”

“Feel so fucking good.” He grunts into your ear. “Come for me baby. I want to feel you come around my cock.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he begins to circle your clit. With a plea of his name you come undone.

“That’s my fucking girl.” He says as he comes inside you. His lust blown eyes never leaving yours.

The two of you stay there and catch your breath. You can’t help but laugh a bit.

“What’s so funny?” He asks as he pulls back to look down at you. You reach up and fix the few pieces of his hair that have fallen into his face.

“No matter how long it’s been, we still act like horny teenagers. At the first chance of us being alone we start fucking.”

He chuckles before capturing your lips with his.

“I can’t help it that you’re irresistible.”

“Mmhmm.” You say as he slowly pulls out and fixes your dress before tucking himself back in. “This is the best picnic I’ve ever been to.”

“I should hope so.”

The morning of the wedding was going to be chaotic. You could feel it as you practically kicked Ransom out of your suite. After taking a quick shower and getting your hair and makeup done you rush to Faith’s room with all the dresses in hand.

Just as you expected everyone was running around like crazy. You got there just in time to help one of the bridesmaids not rip her dress and then sat in the corner to fix the issue. At some point Faith had had enough of the bickering and chatting and demanded that everyone leave the room except for you. And the photographer of course.

With some music on and some champagne for the bride you helped her into her dress. In the mirror you stood just beside her. She grabbed your hand and looked at you through the mirror, a scene that the photographer captured. It was a sweet moment between friends. She looked beautiful.

“This could be you.” She says after a moment. As she gently smoothed her dress out.

“Oh really? Is our wedding still on then? I have something else I can wear if I’m replacing Scott.”

You laugh but Faith just raises an eyebrow.

“I’m being serious. This could be you and Ran. You were made for each other.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Just his dick?” Faith quips.

You roll your eyes but step away to check your makeup one more time.

“All I’m saying is give yourself a chance, ok? You’re reunited and both of you are single. I mean you spent the last two nights fucking.”

“Ok, can we just stop this conversation right now. It’s your wedding day. All attention should be on you.”

“I’m the bride and I decide what I want to talk about. But you’re right I’m going to be walking down the aisle any second now.”

“Ms. Carter I think we should do some shots of you with your family seeing you for the first time.” The photographer speaks up from the corner of the room.

“I’ll leave you to it and I’ll see you down there.”

****

You had made it down to the lobby of the hotel where the rest of the guests were milling about until the ceremony started. There were at least three hundred guests in attendance. A small wedding, in these social circles. Every once in a while someone would stop to talk to you about wanting you to design something for them or asking how you’ve been. You gave quick answers because you desperately wanted to find Ransom.

As you move closer to the entrance where the ceremony is going to be held you spot him. His hair is styled back and he looks so handsome in his tailored tuxedo. The smile on your face falls when a beautiful tall brunette leans in and kisses him. The issue wasn’t that she kissed him but that he kissed her back.

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of you. You turned on your heel and walked to the nearest bathroom. Taking a few deep breaths you tried not to cry. The last few days had been wonderful but just the thought that he had used you to cheat on who you assumed was his girlfriend made you sick to your stomach. Your phone went off and you grabbed it from your clutch to see a message that you were needed by the mother of the bride. You took some tissue and dabbed the corners of your eyes in order to not cry and ruin your makeup and headed back upstairs.

****

The ceremony went off without a hitch. The only issue you had personally was your seat. The chairs had been arranged in a semicircle and unfortunately for you, Ransom and his girlfriend were right in your line of sight on the groom’s side. You had noticed that he kept scanning the seats, probably trying to find you but you do your best to stay hidden from him.

Thunderous applause snaps you out of your thoughts as the husband and wife kiss for the first time. Everyone stands as Faith and Scott start walking down the aisle. Faith’s eyes find you immediately and she gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. Tears sting your eyes as she starts walking back hand in hand with Scott and then you’re met with ocean blue eyes.

You square your shoulders and your eyes move from him to his date and back. His jaw tightens and you watch as he shakes her off of him. It doesn’t matter though, you turn your attention to getting out of there and up to the bridal suite to help Faith change into her reception dress.

Fortunately you were seated at the family table so you were next to Faith’s parents. Her mother kept you distracted enough to not look around the room in search of Ransom. It wasn’t until Faith and Scott made their grand entrance and had their first dance as husband and wife that you made eye contact again. He was sitting at a table on the opposite side of the dance floor. His date sat next to him dreamily watching the couple dance.

For the next few hours you had to make sure you stayed at a safe distance. You didn’t need to hear his shitty excuse. This wasn’t the time or place for it. He tried to get closer though, on multiple occasions but you made sure to walk away before he could reach you. At some point Scott whisks you away to the dance floor.

“He’s an idiot.” Scott says.

“Who?”

“Ransom. If it makes you feel better he really did break up with her before the wedding. She just showed up today.”

“It really doesn’t but thanks I guess.” You murmur.

“You know when we were in college he was always at parties, getting drunk and doing everything a guy does at a frat house.”

“That’s thrilling. Why are you telling me this?”

“Just making small talk.” He gives you a little smile when he sees you glaring up at him. “One night though got very drunk. It was in May at the end of the semester. He got completely wasted, that’s when he confided in me that he had left the love of his life behind. He felt horrible about it.”

You tensed because the only important date toward the end of May was the twins’ birthday.

“Every year like clockwork he would do the same thing so eventually I started looking out for him. It didn’t click until the yacht that it was you. I should have known because when I brought Fai to meet him they already knew each other. But I’ve never seen Ransom smile like that in my life. I know there must be something else going on and I don’t need to know it but just talk to him. The girl that’s here, she’s nice and all but it’s obvious she’s not you.”

“Are you really being a wingman for him right now?” You ask as you look around the room. Those piercing blue eyes seem to be everywhere you look.

“No, I’m being one for you. I’ve never seen you smile like you have this weekend either. I can’t imagine what happened between you two in high school but isn’t getting past that worth being happy again?”

“That’s the thing Scott, you don’t know what happened.” You say as the song ends and you leave him standing in the middle of the dancefloor.

You try to walk out as fast as you can. All of the day’s emotions were starting to suffocate you and you needed a moment away from it all. The hotel has a lovely garden that overlooks the ocean. With the reception going on it happens to be empty so you take a seat at a bench facing the beach. After a few minutes of silence and you thinking things through you hear rustling behind you and you dread to look over your shoulder only to find Ransom.

“You’ve been avoiding me all day. What is your problem?”

“My problem?” You look at him incredulously. “After the last few days we spent together you show up with another woman on your arm. How am I supposed to feel?”

“She means nothing to me. Is that what this is about? Are you jealous?” He smirks.

“I’m not jealous.” You snap. “I feel used and lied too. Did you really break up with her before the wedding or did you lie about that just so that you could get into someone’s pants?”

Ransom rolls his eyes which only serves to piss you off more. His flippant attitude is not helping the situation and only adding on to your thoughts that he was only using you to have a good time this weekend. If it were true that would be just as devastating as when he walked away without reason.

“I was going to ask you to let me stay in your room when she got here, I just didn’t get a chance to talk to you before the wedding.”

“Didn’t seem like you were trying to get away from her when you shoved your tongue down her throat. Did you think about how I’d feel at all by seeing you with her like that? The answer’s probably not.”

Ok so maybe you were a bit jealous. But in all honesty even if you hadn’t spent most of your time in bed with Ransom for the last few days you would have still been jealous.

You could see the mask that Ransom had methodically crafted to protect himself after years of abuse and fights, slip into place. He’d never just shut down like that on you and whatever was going to happen next wasn’t going to be good. The muscle in his jaw ticked and his hands were balled into fists at his side.

“We aren’t kids anymore, we don't need to be in a relationship to sleep together. What did you think was going to happen? That we’d ride into the sunset together? Don’t be so fucking naive. It was just sex, it didn’t mean anything.”

Every word cut deeper but you didn’t allow yourself to cry. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction to see your tears.

“I thought you’d have a bit of respect for the mother of your children.”

“What children? The ones you gave away?” He sneers.

It would have hurt less if he would have slapped you across the face. You stared at him with wide eyes, hurt and disbelief written all over your face. Neither of you say anything and you will yourself to turn around and walk away from him. You send Wanda a text and ask her to have the plane ready to leave tonight, you also miss the way Ransom’s shoulders deflate as he watches you walk away.

****

You had packed up everything quickly and had it taken to the plane while you checked out. The wedding was still going on but you texted Hope and let her know you left. Although you were sure no one would miss you. In the lobby of the hotel you check out and head to the restroom before you head to the plane.

As you give yourself a once over in the mirror one of the stall doors open and you come face to face with someone else you didn’t want to see. She gets closer to the sinks and looks up making eye contact with you through the mirror.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N.” She states excitedly and then groans. “I’m sorry it’s just I’m such a huge fan. I’m Bertie Wilcox.”

“Bertie?”

“It’s short for Alberta. I used to hate it as a kid.” She smiles. “It was actually my boyfriend who gave me the nickname. I’m not sure if I should even call him that. I don’t know where we stand right now.” She rambles as she washes her hands and you turn to look at her. “I guess we’re in a bit of a rough patch. But I hope things work out.”

You give a small hum to acknowledge that you’ve been listening.

“I’m so sorry I don’t tend to ramble about my personal life with someone I just met. This is so embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“The wedding dress was so lovely. I didn’t know you had a wedding line.”

She’s being nice which means she most likely doesn’t know about you and Ransom. It also makes it difficult for you to hate her. What’s happened between you and Ransom really isn’t her fault and she is the one in a relationship with him. You have no right to have any hateful feelings towards her but you still can’t help it. If she hadn’t shown up then tonight would have gone completely different.

“I don’t.”

“Oh. What a shame. You’d definitely take over that industry.” She smiles at you and you give her a half hearted smile back.

“I should go. I have a plane to catch.”

“It was nice meeting you.” She says as she watches you walk away.

She waits a minute before she heads back to the reception. Bertie finds Ransom at the bar and takes the seat beside him. He doesn’t look at her or acknowledges her presence and Bertie can only sigh. For the rest of the night he’s more distant than before. When they do make it upstairs to the suite Ransom had, she takes the bed and he takes the couch.

By the time you get back to New York your eyes sting from having spent most of the time on the flight crying. How did such a good weekend go bad so quickly?

It was still fairly early in the day and the only thing that made you smile was the pictures of Theodore and Abigail for their first day of school. You made sure to have one of them printed so that you could keep it on your desk at work. With a quick text a promise to do something that weekend and wish them a great first day.

Wanda meets you at your apartment and immediately hugs you. You weren’t sure if it’s what you needed because you started crying again. Fortunately Wanda didn’t ask any questions and you only said that you and Ransom had a disagreement but she knew it was more than that.

“I cleared the next two days for you.” She says as she helps you unpack.

“That’s not necessary. I’d much rather work.”

“Then work on new designs but you won’t be meeting any new clients this week.” Wanda crosses her arms over her chest.

You open your mouth to say something but then decide against it. Wanda takes it as a win and gives you one more hug before inviting you over to her place to a dinner party she’s hosting at the end of the week.

After she leaves you take a quick shower and decide to take a nap. At this point you’d been awake for way too long. As you settle into bed your phone rings. You see Abigail’s smiling face and you quickly answer it. She immediately goes into details about her first day and how different schools are in New York than they are in the smaller town in Ohio she grew up in. Theodore adds his own commentary as his face pops into frame. You smile and ask a few questions here and there. After a few minutes they let you go and the need to sleep is stronger. Maybe if you take a nap everything will be better by the time you wake up.

Ch. 6

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cutthroatcarnival · 11 months ago

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Febuwhump Day 15: “Who Did This To You?”

Tags/Warnings: Talk about corporal punishment (whipping)

They were no strangers to scars, so Sky was a little confused what had Warriors up in arms about his- what even was “corporal punishment”?

Read it on AO3!

Lasting Marks

Out of all the chores, Sky supposed laundry wasn’t that horrible. He could be stuck with dish duty. Gently, he hummed a song to himself, settling into the motions of dunk, wash, scrub, and rinse, enjoying the pleasantly warm air.

He had shucked his tunic off a while ago, his sleeves never seemed to stay rolled up and were now soaked, but the feeling of the sun on his back was enjoyable. It reminded him of days back on Skyloft, during the simple times where he was just Link, unaware of his destiny as Hylia’s Chosen Hero.

That thought had soured his mood slightly, his humming had taken on a melancholy shift, slowing down and sliding into the lower registers. Sky stood up, letting his humming fade as he hoisted the bucket of wet clothes into arms, bringing it over to the makeshift clothesline.

Maybe the laundry chore was horrible, for the memories it brought to the front- painfully domestic ones of young teenagers in love, blind to the future ahead of them. Sighing, Sky shook his head, hoping to dislodge the memories, continuing to hang the clothes.

Sky startled at the gasp behind him, fumbling the wet tunic in his grasp, letting it fall back into the bucket. He turned, revealing to his sight a paler than usual Warriors, whose eyes were blown wide. Truthfully, Sky was a little confused as to why, until it clicked a few seconds later- he had no tunic on.

The skyward knight opened his mouth to poke fun at the captain, but quickly clicked it shut, realizing that the emotion on Warriors’ face was horror. He didn’t have any wounds, which knocked out the potential for an arrow or weapon to be sticking out of him, leaving him with two options; he took the one that felt the most correct.

“Do my scars bother you?” The question snapped Warriors out of trance, disbelief creeping onto his face as he shook his head. Sky lifted up an eyebrow, now entirely confused- what was wrong?

Quicker than Sky expected, Warriors had crossed the gap between them, now holding the Skyloftian by his shoulders, “I didn’t know Skyloft had corporal punishment.” What now? Sky blinked rapidly at the captain, unsure of how to respond- he didn’t even know what that was

“Who did this to you?” Sky was really tempted to blurt out the truth, but he wasn’t sure how well ‘a god and his sword spirit hellbent on bringing destruction to the world’ would be received.

“What?” Very eloquent response. He mentally patted himself on the back. Warriors just stared at him like he had grown wings, “I don’t even know what corporal punishment is, Wars.” The mentioned hero continued to stare, before jolting, seemingly back in reality, fixing him with a questioning look.

“Corporal punishment? You know, when you’re punished for misbehaving or being out of line? You’ve got the whip scars on your back.” That was a lot to unpack, but Sky’s brain fixated on ‘whip scars’ because he most certainly did not, and was almost tempted to find a mirror shield to double check. Sure, his back was criss-crossed with scars. None of them were caused by a whip, though.

“Wars, captain… I don’t have any whip scars.” The taller hero huffed, fixing Sky with a ‘really?’ look.

“I think I would know what they look like. After all, I have my fair share of them.” Sky swore he heard his neck crack with how fast he turned his head towards Warriors, horror plastered onto his face. The Skyloftian had a whip, he knew it hurt because he’d used it on monsters before, but on a person?

“Why would anyone ever do that?”

“I misbehaved a fair amount as a trainee, they would use it to get me back in line.” He honestly felt a little sick to his stomach; whipping someone because of a little misbehavior? The Hyrulian Army was a big deal- he had seen so on a visit to Warriors’ Hyrule- but that had to be too far. It was.

Before he could register what he was doing, Sky yanked Warriors into a hug, squeezing the captain as tight as he dared. He could feel the captain sink into the embrace, face buried in his shoulder.

“They shouldn’t have done that. It was a cruel power trip.” Apparently, his words flipped a switch in Warriors’ brain, as he felt tears falling onto his bare shoulder. Sky gently rocked them both, letting the captain cry it out. A few words couldn’t fix what were likely years of trauma- he still couldn’t believe it, whipping someone- but he could be a literal shoulder to cry on, and hope he could heal from it in the future.

#linked universe #lu #linked universe sky #sky linked universe #linked universe warriors #warriors linked universe #lu sky #lu warriors #mars writes #febuwhump #febuwhump 2024

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i-care-bout-things-too · 10 months ago

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👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Love you babe!! I know the answer to some of these but 🫶

Wheezing so hard rn kitty cat you sent like 1/3 the list

Okay so—

👀: I started a Jon/Dami civilian au FOREVER ago, and it’s *this* close to being finished. I really can’t wait to post it because it’s a fun mix of fluffy and angsty (the latter is my specialty), where Jon/Dami have a very unusual first meeting when Damian walks into the veterinarians office Jon works at concussed, bleeding, and cuddling an inured raccoon.

“I am fine.” He says, resisting Jon’s attempts to be seated. He ignores Jon’s bewildered look as well and proffers up the raccoon he’s swaddled and had up to that point been practically cuddling. “Help him. I have grievously injured him and I am at fault.”

While admirable, Jon really wants to point out that he also looks pretty injured and also needs help. “Sir,” He replies calmly, even though this guy can’t be too much older than him. “You’re bleeding. I will help both of you, but we need to call 911 now and get your head checked. If I give you the phone and take the raccoon, could you describe the situation to an operator and explain what happened?”

To Jon’s horror, tears well up in the man’s green eyes. “You’re right. We should call the police, I need to be arrested for taking his life.”

❌: hmmm, now this is a bit of a hard one, I tend to write across a bunch of tropes and don’t really judge people for indulging in theirs… I genuinely can’t think of an answer, you’ll have to tell me something I forgot after I post this.

🎶: I’m always listening to music while I write. My music varies heavily month to months. I tend to find a new batch of songs and listen to them on loop while I write until it’s done or I get sick of them. As you know, I listened to Stranger by Thomas Day for the second chapter of the fic I gifted you, Rook, which is about very sad, angsty stuff centered around Tim and Damian. Click the fic name to end up on ao3!

✨: I actually love my own work sometimes, maybe not *always*, but there are fics I’m especially proud of. I’ll recommend (myself, yes!) Leave a Message, which is a civilian au fic about Damian celebrating his second Christmas ever, while really missing Dick who’s driving a taxi around Bludhaven unable to remember his family who’s waiting for him to come home. Trust me on this one, read it, I won’t let you down.

🛒: Damian running away. It’s a staple in a decent number of my fics, possibly because he does it A LOT in canon too. If I counted the number of fics where Damian was running away from his family or his problems, I think I’d be counting a majority of my fics.

🎢: This…okay look, I’m answering these like I’ve only ever written Batfam fic, which isn’t true, but we’re going to pretend it is to persevere some of my dignity. ANYWAY, definitely going to point a finger at Unimportant and Like We Were Then. Unimportant has spiralled beyond my control, and there are characters and things going on in it that I wasn’t planning for or expecting. Meanwhile, LWWT went from a 5+1 to a 33k word monstrosity with a plot that wasn’t planned either, but I’m actually quite proud of. Hoping to get the epilogue up soon ♥️

🤡: Basically the entirety of I Think I Have A Ghost in which Jason can’t remember his time in the league, and there’s a small child sized wraith who’s been following him around for weeks. These things are not unrelated. I’m proud of both works in the series, but particularly:

He drops a bag of tea in each mug, sits on one of a few stools around the kitchen island, and slides one of the mugs across the table to the side opposite of him.

He waits for the presence to decide what it wants to do.

“It’s going to over steep.” He tries.

It shouldn’t work. What ghost drinks tea?

Apparently, his.

The kid, because it really is an actual child, on silent feet, steps through the doorway to the kitchen and scales the stool in front of the steeping tea. All of this is done without a sound or any indication that this whole situation is really bizarre.

Jason raises a brow at the kid, and takes a sip of his tea. The kid copies the motion, only making the slightest face of distaste.

So not only is he not a ghost, Jason decides, he’s a posh not-a-ghost.

“Cool.” Jason says. “Wanna explain whatever this—” He motions between them, “—Is, kid?

The kid takes a longer sip.

Okay then.

Thank you for asking all these, Kat ♥️

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sejjiplinth · 1 year ago

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hi everyone! i watched tbosas a few days ago and i’m finally ready to share my thoughts, SPOILERS below of course.

so i’ll speak on the things i liked first.

— the tributes. i was the most moved by their stories, their deaths, and their actors/actresses’s performances more than anything else. i was in tears when reaper ripped the flag down! and lucy gray hurt my heart. i also appreciated the dynamics between them, that’s something i wish the book had touched on more and i’m so thankful the movie delivered!

— the score and the music. they fit so well and near perfect as to how i imagined them sounding in the book, so so good! and the score was amazing. it was so haunting at times, sejanus’s song was beautiful omfg.

— part two: the prize. i think this was by far the most accurately paced part of the entire film. part one felt too fast for me, and part three felt long. i really loved it.

okay… here’s the bits i didn’t really love.

— sejanus’s writing. i felt like his character was watered down completely, from his dialogue to his relationships. movie sejanus contradicts book sejanus multiple times and i was honestly so shocked 😭 they left out so many key quotes and actions from him that would’ve benefited him greatly. for example, having coriolanus suggest feeding the tributes? insane. he does that on his own in the book. also, his thoughts of suicide are completely skipped over, they made him take morphling for his knee injury instead. and as for his relationships, his past with marcus wasn’t explained at all besides the fact that they were classmates. what about what he did for him when they were kids? like omg. the fact that they made sejanus seem frustrated with him too? i was nawt happy. and coriolanus, it seemed pretty book accurate to me. i have my nitpicks but i’m not sure what else they could’ve done. AND MA!!!! one scene and that was all :(

— the pacing. like i said earlier, i felt like part one FLEWW by compared to the other two. a lot of plot points were missed there.

— clemensia’s storyline. i was definitely surprised by this one, why did they not show her after the snake bites? that would’ve been so interesting to see, and in my eyes, would’ve clicked with non-book readers about peeta’s hijacking. the meanness and appearance she had afterwards in the book? so so chilling. i was expecting it to be altered because it was described to be quite graphic, but not THAT altered.

— no mention of the games being erased. i didn’t realize this until after the movie but wow, what a huge part of the book AND in the hunger games universe that was completely forgotten about.

well, that’s all! of course i have parts i wished would have made it or scenes i felt were unnecessarily added, but i know not everything can make it. overall, i enjoyed it, the flaws are there but i would still say it was a good adaptation. anyway, these are my own opinions. i definitely recommend seeing it for yourself!

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #sorry i got serious about sejanus IM LIKE?!:$;#the fact that i have more to say about it… man #well #the hunger games #thg #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow

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herrlindemann · 2 years ago

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Metal Hammer - July 2015, interview with Till and Peter

The most unusual and at the same time most exciting constellation of the year is clearly Lindemann. Peter Tägtgren (Hypocrisy, Pain) and Till Lindemann (Rammstein) teamed up to record the debut Skills in Pills, which was already hotly debated online, between Pärlby in Sweden and Berlin. The result: a monster of an album and a band that might even have a medium-term future. Till and Peter tell Metal Hammer in a personal conversation what Lindemann means to them.

Fun turned serious - but not quickly, but after years of dancing around each other. The Lindemann protagonists Peter Tägtgren and Till Lindemann tell us how much time and work went into the country from the idea to the initially unplanned album.

A few years passed from the initial idea of the band Lindemann to the final implementation. Did you take this time to get to know each other personally?

Peter: Not only that, but we also needed the time to coordinate our schedules. We've been friends since 1999 and met up as often as we could, talking on the phone or texting. Two years ago I attended a few Rammstein gigs in the run-up to Wacken, Till invited me. We met and he said that he had a break soon and we could realize our project. That's how it all started, initially with just one song.

Till: Before we started we met in Sweden at the Bravalla festival, but friends and family were there and we only got to talk briefly. I said: «After Wacken I have a break of about one and a half to two years, then let's do something together. "Somehow Peter didn't really want to believe in it, because this promise had existed for almost ten years. But a few days after Wacken I actually called him. I said: "Send me what you have. » Four weeks later I got a file and worked on it for a few days; this became 'Ladyboy', the first track. I think Peter was a little confused at first. I said, «Let's get some opinions on the internet. » Peter didn't do that, but sent me more files. It went in quick succession.

Then did you meet?

Till: No, that didn't happen until five or six songs later. At first, ideas were simply sent back and forth.

Peter: Till wrote lyrics and I wrote music.

Till: I worked with my Logic system, he with Pro Tools. I loaded his stuff into my system and worked on the chants. You have to admit: the first demos were pretty terrible. Still, somehow we suddenly had five songs, so the question came up: EP or mini-disc? I refused to think about more, but Peter said: «Let's make a full album! » However, I didn't find the idea that exciting. Then I visited him in his studio and from then on I kept commuting back and forth. That was great, almost like a weekend vacation. I was always otherwise busy during the week, but from Friday morning to Sunday evening I was able to be with Peter at the Abyss Studio. His studio is right on a lake, it really was like being on vacation.

Did this pleasant atmosphere in Peter's studio help the project a lot?

Till: At least it helped not wanting to shorten the studio time because you don't like the place. The atmosphere there was very good, even if the studio is pretty gross. (Laughs) Somehow everything came together, it was the perfect work situation. In addition, it went really fast, because Peter brought an incredible amount of experience with him. I explained to him how I like to work. After that, it only took us a few weeks, a few sessions, until it really clicked.

How do you feel today that it is certain that there will actually be an album and a band and that it is completely different from what you are doing with your other projects?

Peter: To be honest, we can't really enjoy it yet. Before that there was no record company, no management, nobody involved and that was nice.

Till: It wasn't easy for Peter to go public, to present things and to get reactions to them. I, on the other hand, had a good feeling from the start. For me, this mixture of gothic and metal, which meet here like a big accident, was very exciting.

Was it clear from the beginning that the sound would be like on the album and the lyrics would be sung in English? Or how was this mix found?

Pete: I have no idea. Learning by doing, I would say. Originally we just wanted to do a song or two together. Everything else only came about because we were further inspired by the lyrics or music. It was kind of a Ponzi scheme. The only thing that was clear was that we wanted to differentiate ourselves from Rammstein and my projects Pain and Hypocrisy. With Till, of course, as far as Rammstein is concerned, this is only possible to a limited extent. But working on the lyrics was very interesting because for Till it was like a kid in a candy store, with lots of new words, lots of new phrasing. We often laughed when he sang something. Sometimes even before he started singing, because he always had to sit down on the sofa because something didn't work. I then said: « Come on, let's try it », only to find out from time to time: Oh God, that doesn't work at all!

Till: Of course I wanted to explain to Peter what the lyrics are about.

Peter: Sometimes he sent me a text to one of my music files. On other occasions, I would just get lyrics he sang on his smartphone in the bathroom and then build a song around them. So we tried different ways.

So completely different than you normally work.

Peter: Yes, completely different. There was no pressure at all, we just experimented.

Is that the great freedom of this album? That you could do whatever you wanted without pressure from other band members or the record company?

Peter: And without any pressure from the fans. You could just try everything and do the craziest things.

Till: For me it was like when we started a new band project and Rammstein was still very young. You just play around, everything is allowed, it's like freestyle, there are no limits. Whereby: With Rammstein there are no limits, only expectations on the part of the fans, i.e. artwork, music, concerts. Now it's an open field in the middle of no man's land.

In which it's also a lot easier to decide things because there are only two people involved instead of five or six.

Till: How right you are. For me it was a great relief.

Now that the music and lyrics are finished, how was the visual impression, i.e. photos and artwork, fine-tuned?

Peter: The ideas came from Till. I only helped a little in this regard.

Till: We simply distributed the tasks. Everyone did what they do best. I brought this experience with me from Rammstein. Peter dived deep into all the production parameters while I took care of the visual design.

Peter: All ideas went back and forth and were discussed, regardless of whether they came from me or from Till. That was the easiest way for us. The first photo session in October was great fun because we had no idea where this was all going. There were four photographers present.

Till: We had an idea...

Peter: Not professionals from big companies, but friends. Stefan Heilemann turned out to be the one who was supposed to do the main work for us. The others were then selected for press photos et cetera. Then Till took the photos and edited them. A crazy result!

To be honest: Nobody would have expected Till Lindemann and Peter Tägtgren to work together. But now that the result is in and there may even be more records to follow, this seems to be the perfect combination: Till as lyricist and singer, Peter as composer and producer. Why did you have to wait so long for such a collaboration?

Peter: Because we simply had too many other tasks to do.

Till: Every project has its very specific time. I was pretty sure of it. Even my colleagues have already commented: "Whenever he's bored, he goes to Peter Tägtgren and makes music with him. » I had had the idea in my head for a long time, I just didn't have the time. For me it was and always will be: Rammstein comes first. But it was also clear that at some point I would do this project with Peter. I had clear ideas of what to sing to that rolling wall of guitars, bass and sequencer. Because that's exactly what I appreciate about Peter's music and his compositions. I wanted to do it even better than himself, and we're not talking about the lyrics, we're talking about the vocal melodies. And when one day you realize that these visions have actually come true, it gives you a really good feeling.

So there's only Till's vocals, but no voices from Peter, right?

Peter: Right, that's what we thought from the start. Till is the captain on the ship, on THIS ship...

Till: Yes, on THIS ship, you have to say that.

Peter: For me, this experience is also a real relief and would also be the only conceivable solution on stage. I'm so tired of being the front man. And Till is one of the world's best. I can hide behind him. For me this is the perfect situation because I can concentrate on my music and the production. When you divide things up like we do, only good things can come of it. When I do my other projects there are always many things I have to consider. You only notice that a few months after the release of an album, when you realize: crap, I should have done that differently. With Till we are, to a certain extent, two producers who both know exactly what they want. We always find a match; everything we decide makes sense.

Now that you know each other a lot better than you did ten years ago, there must be traits in each other that you weren't aware of before, right?

Peter: Till is the biggest crybaby I know. (laughs)

Till: All day long.

Peter: We're like brothers who fool around all day.

Do you fight over details, vocal melodies or the like in a project like this? Do you have to seriously deal with it?

Till: In the beginning, of course, everything is pure sunshine...

Peter: Like in a young marriage: I love you. (Laughs) And then later: You bloody carrion, I hate you!

Till: The dispute will probably come over the years. We are currently on our honeymoon. No bad words, everything is harmonious and runs by itself.

Peter: The good thing is: I don't care about things that bother Till, and vice versa. He often says: "Do what you want, I don't care. » Everyone has their own role in this.

Are you already thinking about where this project could take you? And how far do you want to push it?

Peter: There are no plans after the album release. We really liked the phase when nobody knew about this project and we could easily think about everything — about video et cetera. We sometimes asked ourselves: should we think like a band? Or should we just make sure it's a cool album?

Peter, did you play all the instruments on the album?

Pete: Almost. Clemens von Crach Angren also played an important role. He helped me out with the violin parts, he also does film music and stuff like that. He is responsible for all the orchestra parts.

Till: Apart from that, Peter played all the instruments, produced, recorded, edited the disc — everything.

Peter: That also made things so easy, because if we wanted to change something in the arrangements, we didn't have to call any band members to try it out.

Till: Peter is an absolute workaholic, he can sit in front of the computer for 14 hours. I have no idea how humans are able to do that. I would go insane in two hours. He was still in the studio when I had to go to the toilet at night. I stood on the terrace and saw the lights on in the studio because Peter still had a problem that was not solved and he really wanted to fix it. His head is always crazy and it is almost unbearable for others.

You've produced so many bands in recent years...

Peter: Yes, I know, and I'm also trying to slow down a bit and enjoy life more. But of course there is always a schedule that needs to be worked through.

Till, what was the biggest challenge for you — singing in English? In Rammstein there are short English passages from time to time, but this time you sing in English throughout. And you know better than anyone else that the German language is massively different from other languages.

Till: The biggest challenge was gaining the necessary self-confidence. I wasn't sure at all. That's why I finally suggested putting something on the internet and waiting for the reactions first. But Peter and a few other people around me encouraged me. First I wrote down words, and then translated them into a singing situation, which was quite strange for me. This gives it a much more international approach right from the start.

Peter: Do you miss German lyrics when you hear the songs?

To be honest: Whenever I hear Till sing in English, I translate it into German. As a German, I associate German texts with his voice. I suspect that international ears perceive this very differently. This could be very interesting.

Peter: So far we haven't had any reactions to it at all. But maybe nobody speaks up because people don't like it. But as soon as the first song hits me, I'm like, yes, that's it! That's really cool! Because it's still very rough. You immediately recognize the attitude.

Till: We overdid it a bit and I tried to get rid of my accent; but somehow he also makes the charm.

Peter: I think that's what people want to hear. You don't want someone who sounds like an American.

That would not fit Lindemann at all.

Peter: Exactly. It would be foolish to change that. The only thing we paid close attention to is correct grammar. So that no " you ist " or something similar slips through to us.

The only question I ask myself after listening to the songs a few times; Is all this meant seriously, or is it supposed to be humorous?

Till: It's good that you're asking yourself that, because then we did it right.

Peter: One should think about it. It's like an open book.

Till: The listeners are forced to read between the lines a bit in order to understand the irony. With Rammstein, the listeners sometimes take it too seriously, so that you are misunderstood. There, too, you should read a lot more between the lines. There is a wide range of what you can sing and what meaning something has. The topics are very complex, and the reactions we have received in recent weeks have also been totally different.

Peter: Every song has a completely different meaning for different people. It was funny to hear how different opinions on a song can be. Sometimes we sat there and thought: Oh yes, that's right, it could actually have that meaning. It's always good to be open to all things.

One of the tracks that most resonates with me is 'Yukon' after reading that you were there on vacation. When you hear the song, you have the landscape in your mind. I could actually imagine how you felt there.

Peter: I felt the same way when I wrote the music for the lyrics. I had his words in front of me and composed the music to go with them, and there was this mood of distance and seclusion.

'Fish On' is also a very lurid number.

Peter: By the way, the song has a very confused origin story. Listeners probably won't hear that, but it was a pretty odd way of coming about this piece. There are very different parts and putting them all together was pretty rad. It just happened while we were experimenting with the arrangement, the verses, the chorus. In the end everything came together. Till had lyrics and wanted to sing them to a click track — but he started rapping like the Beastie Boys.

Till: I said to Peter: «I have a vocal line here and for the first time in my life I would like to write the music to an already finished vocal melody. “My desire was to have the written word first and then compose the music around those words, rather than having to jump on the music and find words to go with it as usual. The only problem was that I was pressed for time because I had to go to the airport. So I said to Peter, "Just give me a click track. » Of course I had no experience with this way of working, especially since the click track calls for a kind of rap singing. The freestyle raps also usually start with a drum loop. So I just sang two verses and had almost forgotten the piece shortly afterwards. But three months later Peter sent me a file with this sequence and its music. It sounded great. As my voice started, I remembered that short singing session again. Peter had even written a chorus. A really great experience.

Peter: Then Till sang the final version and we had a new song.

Till: Some things have been changed, the chorus and the intro for example. We also developed a C-Part, a bit like Lego bricks.

Peter: Half of the remaining pieces were put together like Lego. The longer we worked on an idea, the crazier it got. Over time we became more and more courageous to try really crazy things.

What is the biggest goal you are pursuing with this disc? I guess that in the beginning you mostly wanted to have fun with the songs. But now that it has become a serious project...

Till: It's in human nature that you always want to achieve a positive result with everything you do. Otherwise there would be no reason to do it at all. No one intentionally messes things up. Of course we hope for good reactions. It's not like Nirvana 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' but we wrote a very good album. The entire process of creation was a lot of fun, because everything was created on vacation in a kind of holiday idyll.

Will you take anything from this production with you to Rammstein?

Till: Yes, guaranteed, but I won't tell you that. (laughs)

...possibly the idea of experimenting with English lyrics at Rammstein?

Till: Of course you never know what will happen in the future, but the German language is part of Rammstein. Of course you could check lyrics like 'Pussy' or 'America', but I'll leave that to the German department in my main band. (grins)

And how about you, Peter? Do you take something away from this project for your further work?

Peter: I brought my experience from twenty years of work and thanks to Till I was motivated to become better than ever before. If I had stopped whenever I felt it was good enough, the result wouldn't have been as fabulous as it is now. I also wanted to prove to Till that I can do things just as well as anyone else. It was a helpful kick in the ass.

It's quite interesting that Till as part of a democratic band and Peter as, let's call it a lone fighter, were able to work so well together.

Peter: I don't have an ego, and neither does Till. We just did what we felt was best for each song.

And how do you like, Peter, the fact that this project is called Lindemann?

Peter: The thing was, we didn't have a name for this project.

Till: Tägtgren would have been a great name too.

Peter: After we had finished a few songs, it was clear that we now also need a name. For months we texted each other with silly band names. Some were just for fun, while others were meant to be taken seriously.

Till: It's incredibly difficult to find a good name these days. We had some good ideas like 'Way Outs' or 'Krauts' and for me the perfect name would have been 'Stockholm Syndromes'. We then settled on a single word, but most of them were already taken or had domains already registered on them.

Will we ever see you live somewhere?

Till: We want to wait and see how things develop.

Peter: First of all we have to wait for the reactions to know exactly how big it would have to be raised if we want to do it; so not just 50 people in a pizza shop. We'll have to wait and only then can we decide whether and within what framework we can tour. It's difficult to assess at the moment. But we still have time, the entire summer is available to us for planning.

#Lindemann #Till Lindemann #Peter Tägtgren #Rammstein #interview #translation #*scans #*#long work but it's a great interview #2015

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makigorogoro · 1 year ago

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disorganized thoughts on fionna and cake eps 5 and 6

(Spoilers!!)

ok ive only seen the eps once each and im going off of memory so a lot of this is probably gonna be paraphrased and mixed up but whatever . also this post is really fucking long lol sorry

-OK FIRST OFF THESE WERE SO GOOD RAAAAAH

-obviously we are in the farmworld, not surprised but very happy!!!

-also not very surprised fionna and cake immediately went along with simon’s plan

-the whole time they were talking about where to find a crown i was like lol. simon don’t look behind you

-cake bringing fionna a dead rat was really funny

-the versucci gag or whatever was also really good

-but what made me die was fionna talking abt how she’s played a lot of post apocalyptic rpgs and then it pans over to “man who has actually lived through the apocalypse”

-was really cool to see how the farmworld has developed after what happened with ice finn, i think it’s interesting how they’re more technologically advanced since the first time an ice age happened in this world they pretty much reverted to medieval times (does that make sense. you know what i mean)

-i was SO convinced jay was farmworld finn’s little sibling so when he said dad my heart stopped

-the name jay didn’t immediately click until bonnie was revealed to be one of his other kid’s name and i was like HOLY SHIT PUHOY???

-veeeery interesting since assumingely golb destroyed/erased the pillow world

-i guess you could just chalk it up to finn would have named his kids the same thing in any universe?

-but i mean speaking of his kids GOD he got busy with huntress wizard

-i mean it has to be huntress wizard. one of them looks just like human hunter wizard

-sucks that she died though

-simon’s ship of theseus thing was so fucking funny oh my god he’s just like me fr (i started talking about the ship of theseus in one of my assignments a few days ago and i was like. is this too nerdy.)

-i haven’t really talked about farmworld finn yet. a little sad he turned out so cold (pun not intended oops 😭) because of what happened to him when he was younger

-good on him for saying simon was a damn fool or whatever for wanting to put the crown on lol

-i wish they actually had a talk though

-cake saying fionna should kiss him while knowing he’s just an alternate version of her??????? girl

-also farmworld jake still being alive was crazy

-so it did turn out the crown was destroyed in this world, i honestly wasn’t sure since the crown from the main world survived direct contact with a comet lol

-the romeo and juliet style romance going on between finn’s kid and big destiny’s kid was really good

-finn showing up with bartram lmao!!!!!

-dude i love bartram, the bit in finn the human where finn’s mom says that they have to sell the mule and then bartram’s head peaks out from the bed in the corner is unironically one of my favorite jokes in adventure time

-i kinda forgot what happens between here and the end

-so did farmworld finn fucking die????

-idk what happened there i sure hope not

-i really don’t know if we’re going to revisit these worlds in any capacity considering the amount of time left but i hope we do now!! i feel like we need to see what happens lmao

-now for ep 6

-wasn’t really expecting it to open on “fionna world” as they started calling it

-i was wondering how they were gonna balance gumball and marshall yaoi with what’s going on with the main trio

-they did it really well though i think

-i also wasn’t really expecting to be introduced to winter king right away once we got back to the main plot

-he definitely gave me weird vibes right from the start im gonna be honest lol

-blaah i don’t really remember what happens between that and the winter wonder world sequence

-so ill just talk about that. holy fuck

-every review i read before the show came out was really hyping this scene up and i get why now

-was really cool to see the beyond the grotto animation again and the song was so good it’s still stuck in my head

-but the moment the winter king said he overcame the crown with sheer will i was like. um. im calling bs

-i was just thinking however it did happen though i have a bad feeling about! felt really bad for simon and when he said that he sucked i was like. oh no ☹️ dude

-the moment i saw little ice marcy pretty much cemented it for me i was like oh no something fucked up is happening here. tbh i still can’t really figure out what happened with that but given what the winter king said about making an ice betty. uhhhhhhhhhh

-OH YEAH cake once again saying simon and the winter king should kiss . GIRL WHAT ARE YOU ON

-i looooved crazy pb

-i remember when people were saying she was a marcy pb child lmao.

-simon saying that he wanted to “fix her” while the winter king just wanted to kill her was really interesting. im trying to figure out what it means lol. like we know that simon wants to be the ice king again but also now knowing he would want to fix and save someone from that madness…idk

-her song was really good

-her playing those ominous notes on her keyboard made me laugh

-i haven’t really talked about gumball (im not calling him gary im sorry) and marshall. i thought they were really cute!!! could definitely see marcy and pb meeting in a similar way

-the juxtaposition between gumball talking about his creations to fionna fighting the fucked up versions of them was really cool

-i hope gumball doesn’t take what the lemoncarbs said to heart . they’re just like that

-ok so. I was honestly more shocked that fionna kissed (a version of) simon than him disintegrating seconds after lmaooooo

-i have to wonder why he immediately died here when in betty (the episode) he was dying relatively slowly without the crown’s magic

-ive been writing down a bunch of crack theories and the first thing ive gotten right was the winter king transferring his craziness to pb lol lets goooo

-i was thinking that simon might’ve transferred it himself but then i was like nooo he wouldn’t do that….apparently he would do that

-idk despite how he seemed i think the winter king was still a little insane in the membrane.

-maybe the crown was still influencing him in some way? and that’s the message here? idk

-i can’t believe bi fionna is real

-back to gumball and marshall. gumball describing slumber party panic……oh my jod 🥺🥺🥺

-the baby world was so cute

-“and i’ll be cursed the right way” simon do you fucking hear yourself

Ok that’s definitely not all i have to say but this post is long enough lmao ,, god this show is SO GOOD i can’t believe it’s real. ok that’s all

#adventure time #fionna and cake #Fionna and cake spoilers

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caitchercatlady · 4 months ago

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Ranking Asian Dramas of 2024: Spring

Welcome to part two of the Asian Dramas of 2024 series. This post will focus on shows that I finished to completion in the spring season. Let's reintroduce ourselves to the ranking system.

Where’s the Replay Button?

They Got the Bag

Good For What it Was

Wanted to like but it has eh?

Why did I even Finish this?

And let's move onto the dramas, shall we? (Note: I did add a few shows that I watched recently that I missed from the winter post, so please forgive my inconsistency here.)

Soulful Encounters (Premiered Jan 31; Why Did I Even Watch This?)

Not to sound sarcastic, but I have a feeling that this show was supposed to be about…something, but the show completely forgot what. Who are these characters again?

Deep Night (Premiered Mar 7; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

I was so close in putting this show in the why did I even finish this tier because that was the question I asked myself with each new episode I clicked on. I did start this show when it first aired, but I put it on hold for a while because I really couldn’t stand Khemtid’s personality and brattiness. I grew to fall in love with Shogun Paramee right when I first saw him because he’s adorable as hell, but Khemtid is such a poorly written character that it drives me up the wall. Furthermore, this story is supposed to show a different side to the Thai sex industry, but all it does is put it in a 50 Shades of Grey light, which only makes me feel really gross as a person who agrees that people in sex work deserve all equal rights. How Khemtid treats Wela like his personal toy all because his mom owns the Deep Night Club is disturbing to me. Wela should’ve stood up to him more instead of falling in love with him after the first three episodes. And then for Khemtid to pull the hypocrite card on his own mother proves that whoever wrote Khemtid in his way had absolutely no idea what they were doing. The acrobatics were pretty impressive (I’m not gonna lie) and whenever Shogun was in a suit, I melted like the dickens.

Secrets of the Shadow Sect (Premiered Mar 12; Where’s the Replay Button?)

While I would say this series deserved to be less and longer episodes considering how well the events of each episode go together, this was a solid concrete series that had a plot and stayed with it until the very end. It also helped me find my ultimate Chinese actor crush, Lin Ze Hui. Seriously, he puts every other historical fantasy male lead to shame with how handsome he looks. The best part of the series other than the romance is definitely the soundtrack. It’s theme songs have been stuck in my head for almost a month since the series started, and both of them are just as glorious as the first listens. My only wish was that the ending was more concrete, but I guess that’s the curse of short series, huh?

One Day in Shimokitazawa (Premiered Mar 17; Why did I Finish This?)

This short movie wasn’t bad. It was pretty chill, which might have been the point, but the plot of the whole Ghost Record thing doesn’t really go anywhere. From what I’ve researched, I can’t tell if this was an original drama or based off of something else, but I wish this drama had more plot or something.

Jazz for Two (Premiered Mar 26; Why did I Finish This?)

I came into this because it was a BL and I needed more Korean BLs in my complete list. I continued watching this for Hangyeom because HE IS THE GOODEST BOI! The show overall was not as interesting as I wished it was. Taeyi and Seheon were just not that interesting, and each episode is full of those obvious romance tropes that stopped being funny or shocking decades ago.

Among the Cloud (Premiered April 3; Why Did I Even Finish This?)

I know why I did. Because it’s short. Out of all the short Thai GL I’ve watched, Irene is the most annoying FL I’ve ever met. I know it’s done on purpose, but I’m supposed to think that’s cute? I can’t even. I don’t blame Tia for not liking her at first at all. In fact, it should’ve stayed that way.

Memory in the Letter (Premiered April 6; Wanted to Like, but it has eh?)

Start of the series was very strong, but they lost me in the last two episodes.

Gray Shelter (Premiered April 11; They Got the Bag)

Now THIS is how you make real drama. Raw real drama. It’s a BL that’s less on the romance and more about how the two manage to survive in their god awful circumstances. It sent shivers up my spine every episode.

Under the Gun (Premiered April 12; They Got the Bag)

I really wished that this drama was longer because this read like an adorable yet dramatic romance manga. I wanted to see more about the gambling and I wanted to see more interactions with the main couple to see how the end would’ve panned out. However, for what it is, it is still a highly recommended drama to watch. The acting is fire. The cinematography is high quality. The story is still well written regardless of length.

JK to Roppozensho (Premiered April 19; They Got the Bag)

Ace Attorney except it’s a female teenaged genius lawyer who focuses less on winning the case and more about serving justice for those in need. This drama is mostly episodic in term of story structure, there is an overarching personal story in which our main character, Miyabi, is also trying to learn about what happened to her mother years ago when she disappeared. As a character, yes, Miyabi is immature but she’s also a teenager, so of course, she’s going to jump into cases in one specific mindset, but it’s thanks to her lawyer grandfather and her mentor’s teachings that Miyabi learns to see the case from all angles in order to find the truth. This show feels like a modern and less actiony Sukuban Deka, but the cases are so interesting to watch that I was invested from beginning to end.

Walk With You (Premiered April 23; Wanted to like, but it has eh?)

The story is average (I started not to like it anymore towards the end), but not bad, but whoever did the audio and music mixing for this show, I hope their life is miserable as mine was having to up and down my volume.

Shinsengumi: When I Bloom With You (Premiered April 25; Wanted to like but it has eh?)

I found the original manga, which was written by the legendary Osamu Tezuka and published in 1963. Shinsengumi is about revenge and how that applies to fighting against corruption during the end of the Edo and start of the Meiji Restoration eras of Japan. The manga is only five chapters long, so it doesn’t really show much, so when I started watching this drama, I was surprised how bromancy and borderline gay the characters were made out to be. I know this drama added a lot of things in order to make the 20 episode run time make sense, but that’s where the problem kinda lies. The show presents a lot of material, but the story barely exists until the second half when we finally get a Mulan-style we’re off to fight now arc. Unlike Mulan, this show’s battle arc feels less inspiring than the extremely short manga. I wanted to like this for the character interactions, but even when I do like them, they feel out of place for a war-torn Tokyo.

Wandee Goodday (Premiered May 4; Where’s the Replay Button?)

Wandee and Yak are my second favorite gay couple this year compared to Yuichiro and Hajime. For a fake dating/friends with benefits thing going on, they seem to be too in love, and they are just so goddamn adorable around each other.

Design You Beside Me (Premiered May 5; Good for What it Was)

If you’re in for the cozy part of a GL drama, this is definitely for you. The stakes are not that high, and for a short drama, it’s a nice change of pace. If plot is what you’re looking for, you’re not going to find that here.

The Story of Suzhou (Premiered May 23; Good for What it Was)

Had this story only been about Yiran making fans for people, I would’ve been completely satisfied. Xiaofeng was completely useless. To give it credit, I love how each episode has a differently filmed intro. The sites of China are gorgeous! I also love how you actually watch the how the fans are made process. Not only do you get to see beautiful designs, but you also learn the history of why the designs exist

My Moo My Boo (Premiered May 29; Good for What it Was)

Episode 6 could’ve used some audio mixing improvement because you shouldn’t be able to hear the wind unless it’s necessary, too, and in this case, it wasn’t. Otherwise, the GL was cute and cozy. Pretty typical.

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wrongway-goback · 6 months ago

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“Do I look handsome?” As if anyone will tell me the truth. Every time something goes wrong I change the colour of my hair. I hate being so predictable.

Has anyone ever tried to get a screenwriting agent? All their websites say “no unsolicited submissions - referrals only” but I cut everyone out of my life so that I can go weeks at a time without anyone saying my name.

I walk in the wind and it makes me feel sixteen again. But not who I was at sixteen. Rather, a cool, wise version of me who’s taking it as it comes and wears sick clothes, and can quote Mina Loy and likes the taste of beer (all of which, in reality, didn’t occur until my early twenties).

Something clicked a few days ago. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been writing more and more, or because my boyfriend is on the other side of the world going on beach trips with Apple Martin and taking drop-in acting classes at NYU. And I walk around by myself. In the wind, at the bottom of the world, so focused on trying to romanticise what’s left of my life as some defence against acknowledging how fucking heartbreaking growing up is. I play songs from Pure Heroin and Honeymoon and pretend it’s 2015 again but it all means more this time.

And I wish I met him back then. I could’ve stopped him from dating that Young Conservative who cheated on him countless times, and he could’ve loved me like he does now—irrevocably and naturally—and I wouldn’t spend ten years trying to earn peoples’ love. And I’d love him straight away. I took my time, in truth. When I think about how he must’ve felt every time I dodged the question because I wasn’t ready, it fills me with anger. Anger directed at myself. How could I not see? I’m going to marry this man. I’d let you all disappear for this man.

“You look hot,” he says in our WhatsApp chat. I sent him a picture of my new hairstyle, along with some scripts I wrote today. Every second thought I have is ‘what time is it there?’

We keep trying to schedule calls but he’s so bad at maths that he can hardly fathom the time difference and we can only ever talk for twenty minutes at a time. His friends here invited me to a dinner party, which was sweet. They’re all actors. That whole introvert/extrovert thing? It should really be ‘are you a writer or an actor?’

He spurs this confidence and faith and trust in me, that… dear God… with every night that passes, and I feel more myself, I can’t help but reckon I’m meant to be both.

#poetry #prose poetry #long reads #writing #essay #spilled ink #lgbtq #lgbtqia #boyfriend #gaza #lorde #pure heroine #lana del rey #honeymoon #mina loy #nostalgia #wrongwaygoback

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erodasfishtacos · 4 years ago

Note

Can I request a prompt of dad!Harry where maybe it’s just him And Sasha and they get mobbed and her slightly hurt but he is furious

JUST A LESSON

word count: 5k+ (how'd i write this in one day)

warnings: language, smut, blood, minor injuries

- If you'd like more from dad!harry verse - check out my masterlist! (pinned post)

- PLEASE NOTE: DAD!HARRY & CEO!HARRY ARE TWO DIFFERENT TROPES.

*** <- click for visuals throughout the story!

---

Harry was quite stressed out. He wasn’t sure how his wife did it all the time. She was constantly packing up Sasha and toting her around the globe to meet up with him for concerts and events when he was away.

The little family had been staying in their Los Angeles home for nearly three months now as Harry had been writing for his third solo album. It involved a lot of late nights were Y/N were putting Sasha to bed by herself.

Harry was eternally grateful that she was so patient and understanding when he snuck into bed quarter past three after finding a rift that fit a new song perfectly or when Mitch had an idea that had Harry on Skype for hours with him.

The stress was overwhelming for her though. She was usually good at self-care and taking time for herself but Sasha had been so needy lately and crabby when her father wasn’t at her beck and call.

The toddler was going through a bout where she struggled to sleep through the night and had a tendency to scream bloody murder when she didn’t get her way.

It was nearly three weeks of this and she hadn’t mentioned it too much to Harry because she didn’t want him to be as stressed out as she was.

Tonight, Y/N had rocked, sang, hummed, and read to her daughter to stop the angry tears that were rolling down her cheeks but nothing was working. It was near eleven at night and she had took Sasha out in the car for a long ride where she finally fell asleep.

But as soon as Y/N unlocked the front door, she startled awake even angrier than before, squirming out her mother’s grip and bolting through the house. When she tried to round a corner, she slipped on her bum.

Y/N felt her anxiety level break.

Sasha began screaming once again, “Mummy! No! No!”

When Y/N picked her up after her slight tumble, she was absolutely not hurt but had become even more frustrated. Y/N was starting to feel overwhelmed - which didn’t happen often.

“Baby, what do you want? What can mummy do?” Y/N asks with desperation, searching her baby’s watery green eyes. She looked so much like her dad it was absurd.

“No! Down! Stop!” The two year old orders with a furrowed brow, lips in a tight line with her nose scrunched up in displeasure.

“Sasha, you just hurt yourself. You can’t run in the house, the floor is slippery,” Y/N tells her firmly despite it falling upon deaf ears.

“Bad mummy,” Sasha shrieks, “Daddy! Want Daddy! Now!”

Y/N is embarrassed to admit that she has tears welling up in her eyes. She was trying everything in her power to soothe her baby. It’s midnight at this point and she’d been at it since seven this morning.

Sasha had refused a nap all day - giving Y/N no respite at all. Harry had left at eight in the morning and hadn’t returned yet. Even though Sasha was only two and a half, Y/N felt a pang at the words ‘bad mummy.’

She didn’t feel any other option at this point than to call Harry for help. She wanted to be capable of being at stay home mum but sometimes it was really fucking hard but she felt guilty because she should be able to do this. Harry was out there working hard, providing, constantly.

When he doesn’t answer, the tears freely start streaming down her face in silence. She scrubs at them quickly so that her daughter doesn’t see them but it’s hard to catch them all - sobs threatening to bubble through her lips.

“Daddy’s working, we need to go to sleep,” Y/N replies to her daughter, jaw clenched to hold back the upset she feels. She needs a minute alone but she doubts her toddler will let her.

“Pool?” Sasha piques, “Swim?”

Y/N wants to laugh, it’s so fucking late and Sasha should have been in bed nearly four hours ago. The mother was so beyond her routine at this point, that she actually just gave in to her daughter.

Sasha’s mood turns around when Y/N wrangles them both into their swimsuits ***and trails out of the back patio, switching on all the lights around as well as in the pool. The California air was still extremely warm, enough to cause a sweat. ***

She tugs a little donut raft into the pool with them that Sasha can float around on while Y/N guides it to keep her safe. She was so tired by this point that her bones felt like they weighed a million pounds.

Sasha’s eyes droop until they finally flutter close within minutes of being in the warm water. Her eyelids splotchy pink from all of the fits and tears from the day. And when she is completely asleep, Y/N lets herself cry as she continues to float the baby around the pool to keep her asleep.

She hasn’t been doing it for more than ten minutes when the patio door opens and Harry is stepping into the back with a confused expression that she can’t see because her back is turned to him.

“Love, why are you in the pool? S’late,” Harry asks softly but he doesn’t get an answer, so he’s slipping out of his plain tee and striped pants, dirty vans kicked to the side ***.

Just in his briefs, he quietly enters the pool to not disrupt the ebb and flow of the water. When he makes his way over to her, he slides in front of his wife, alarmed at the exhausted, tearful expression on her face.

“Baby, what’s happened? Talk t’me,” Harry whispers, hands coming to cup his wife’s face in between his large hands. Rings cold against her hot, wet cheeks. He looks to his sleeping daughter, running his eyes over her a few times and decides she seems completely okay.

“M’fine,” Y/N chokes out but the lie causes a fresh wave of tears.

Harry frowns, “Don’t lie to me, pet. Please, don’t shut me out. M’always here for you.”

“I’m a bad mum,” She sobs silently, her eyes closing as she leans into his palms before moving to rest her head heavily on the crook of his tattooed shoulder, his chest damp from the salty tears.

“Wha-What’s brought this on? Y’the best mum in the world, best wife in the world. The best at everythin’, why are you doubtin’ that, my heart?” Harry murmurs, taking over the rocking motions of Sasha’s raft.

“She wouldn’t settle today, Harry. Like at all, refusing to nap, eat any healthy food, or bathe. She screamed at me the whole day no matter what I did and then she told me I was bad and she wanted you.”

“Love, she’s in the midst of her terrible twos. She loves you more than anythin’ on this earth. Y’her mummy and a damn good one at that. Why didn’t y’call me? I’d come home, work is never more important than our family.”

Y/N doesn’t bring up the fact she did try to call, “I need to be able to do this myself, Harry. M’a stay at home mum, taking care of Sash is literally my only job and I can’t even do that.”

Harry’s face hardens but he tries to not take it personally, knowing his wife is just upset with herself, “That’s not fair to me, dove. M’her daddy, she’s half mine too. She’s just as much of my responsibility as yours, no matter what my job is.”

“I don’t want to stress you out more than necessary,” Y/N mutters into his skin.

“Me coming home to my wife in tears and my baby in the pool at midnight is more stressful than you ringin’ me to come home,” Harry tells her, smearing a few kisses to the top of her hair.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m just tired.”

Harry pulls her back so he can look her in the eyes, “Never apologize for somethin’ like that. Go get a bath and let me put the bub to sleep, okay? I love y’mumma.”

Harry calls his mum the next morning while Y/N is out getting a manicure with Glenne. He’d called her favorite salon earlier in the day, coercing them into opening a spot for her with a monetary bribe.

Y/N had hesitated at the door as Sasha threw a fit at her mother leaving the house. She clung onto her calf until Harry had to physically pull her off and hold her tightly in his arms.

Currently, Sasha was playing with a set of dolls on the floor of her bedroom as Harry sat next to her. She’d originally been happy with the presence of her father until he told her he needed to make a phone call.

Harry had to be stern with her when she went to grab at the phone pressed to his ear, gently gripping her wrist and frowning, “We don’t do that, s’not nice.”

Sasha had attempted to grab at it again and managed to tangle Harry’s long locks into his fist, tugging at them. Harry unraveled the small fingers before telling his daughter, “If you do that one more time, y’going on the step for two minutes.”

The threat had her pouting harshly but turning back to her toys to occupy herself, sighing when his mum finally answered the phone, “Hi darling.”

“Hi mum, you alright?” Harry asks, relaxing at the sound of his mother’s melodic voice.

“I’m perfect, you don’t sound okay, dear,” Anne replies with a concerned twinge.

Harry didn’t call much to complain, didn’t like worrying her and most of the time Y/N was able to provide the support he needed or Jeff.

“Y/N’s really overwhelmed,” Harry tells her before choking up a bit, “And I don’t know what to do mum, I feel like m’bein’ a bad husband. Came home to her crying last night and she feels like she’s a bad mum.”

When Sasha hears her father’s voice crack, she looks up at him curiously before recognizing that he’s upset. She crawls into his lap, fitting herself against his chest before playing with a doll there. Comforting him.

Harry wraps his free arm around her, pulling her as close as possible. His precious little baby. A little blessing as sweet as her mother.

“Oh honey, that happens. Mums, good mums especially are so critical when they don’t need to be. Baby’s are overwhelming, plus I know she’s been alone a lot with her. But you’re not a bad husband, dear.”

“It feels like it,” Harry sniffles, burying his face in his daughter’s lavender-scented curls from her bath earlier.

“If you were, you wouldn’t be calling,” Anne chuckles at her son, “Now how can we make this situation better?”

The phone call helped Harry not feel so hopeless in helping his wife. He’d come up with the plan to fly to England with Sasha so that Anne could see her but Y/N could have some alone time for a long weekend.

When Y/N enters the front door after her appointment, she’s met by a very excited little human who rushes to her mother and demands to be picked up. Of course, Y/N obliges, looking a bit more refreshed and awake as she tucks the baby against her hip.

Harry had ordered their favorite salads from a shop in the city and had it ready for her, “Oh, looks delicious. Thank you, H,” She smiles at him, leaning to give his stubbly cheek a kiss.

As they dig in, Y/N feeding bits of chicken and veggies to her daughter as they eat, Harry clears his throat, “I’m taking Sash to Holmes Chapel for the long weekend to see my mum.”

Y/N smiles, “That sounds great!”

Harry gives her a perplexed look, he’d thought she’d put up a fight. She despised being away from Sasha - couldn’t go a day without seeing her daughter.

“Really?” Her husband asks, putting down his fork.

“Mhm, I just have to pack a bag for Sash and I. When are we leaving?” Y/N replies eagerly, ready to go back home and get away from California for a bit.

Harry’s stomach clenches, “Erm, I meant just me and the baba? I thought you could stay here and relax for a weekend. Sleep, hang out, shop.”

Y/N’s face falls and is replaced with a devastated look, “You don’t think I’m being a good mum.”

Harry backpedals, realizing he shouldn’t have approached it in the lax way he did.

“No, no, of course not, baby. I think you’re such a good mum that you need a break. You never get breaks, m’the one who always does. S’not fair to you. I just need you to have some time to take care of yourself,” Harry explains, his heart shattering a bit at the tears brimming again.

“I don’t want a break, don’t leave me here,” Y/N begs, tucking a piece of tomato in her daughter’s expectant mouth before Sasha chews and smiles at her mother.

“Mummy, more please?” Sasha chirps, her mood a little bit brighter than it had been the last few days.

“Thank you for using your manners, here baby,” Her mother responds, popping another into her mouth after she sliced it in half.

“Did you book a commercial flight?” She asks her husband with an angry tone.

“No, private but we have to catch it at LAX,” Harry explains, the private airport they usually fly out of was filled to capacity at the moment.

“Either I’m coming or you’re going alone. You’re not taking Sasha without me,” Y/N replies firmly. She stands up and shuffles Sasha into his lap before leaving the room without another word.

Harry didn’t expect that. He should have thought it through more. If Y/N wanted to come, of course she could, but he’d never meant to offend her or act like he was taking Sasha away from her.

Harry had attempted to reason his way out of going to the studio with Jeff today. However, with the final cuts and adjustments were being made - he was quickly turned down and demanded in the studio.

When he’d trailed into the quiet house that night, relieved to find his baby in her crib instead of the pool, he went to his bedroom where the lights were still on.

The closet doors were open and Y/N was on the ground folding and sorting Sasha’s clothes before placing them in her suitcase. ***

Y/N’s suitcase already laying zipped and ready to go by the entrance of the closet. Her toiletry bag was placed neatly on top of it. Then his heart pings a bit when he sees that she’s already packed up his suitcase as well.

Harry pads over to his wife, plopping down behind her and tugging her back into him - long arms wrapping around her upper chest.

“Missed you, mumma.”

She hums, “I missed you too. Miss you always.”

“Y’the love of my life, y’know that?” Harry asks, kissing the back of her neck.

“I better be or you married the wrong person,” Y/N laughs softly, her tone still off but lighter than before.

“Married the right person, knocked up the right person.”

Y/N barks out a laugh, rolling her eyes, “How romantic.”

“Baby, y’know what I’m getting at. You’re the best mum and wife. I just wanted you to have a few days to yourself. To lower your stress level and let you do some self-care,” Harry murmurs, pushing the baby clothes out of her hands.

“But your mum can watch her for a bit while we’re there, right? I don’t want alone time, I need the exact opposite. I need company,” She tells him, twisting herself until she’s seated in his lap - straddling him.

“Mmm, can definitely have some alone time,” Harry agrees instantly, his mouth finding her throat - beginning to lay a path of wet, hot kisses down the column down to her collarbones.

“H, I have t’pack, we’re leaving tomorrow morning,” Y/N weakly argues but can’t help but bear down against her husband when she feels him harden in his loose pants quickly.

“S’just a quickie? Yeah, pet? Lemme fuck you,” Harry’s hands dragging the shirt she’s wearing up and over her head. Eyes lighting up boyishly when he realizes she didn’t have a bra on.

She can’t argue as he darts down to wrap his lips around her pert bud, sucking between long swipes of his tongue - just how she liked it. “Missed y’body so much,” Harry states against her heated skin.

“Just had me two days ago,” Y/N laughs but it cuts off into a moan when his hand slides into her pajama shorts and finds her clit over her thin underwear.

“Never enough,” Harry replies easily, “Remember the song I wrote f’you?”

Y/N snarkily asks, “Which one? Nearly all your songs are about me.”

And well...Harry can’t even argue how true her statement is. “The one titled ‘Never Enough’, pet? Remember?”

Before she can speak, he lowly croons out the chorus of the song he wrote for One Direction years ago, “Lips so good I forget my name. I swear I would give you everything. It’s never enough, never enough.”

Harry knows his sweet as syrup singing gets her immensely turned on and so he’s not surprised when she whimpers against his lips, “Fuck me, c’mon.”

He’s delighted at his wife’s pleas and quickly moves them, leaning forward with her until she’s on her back on the ground of their walk-in closet. He accidentally kicks over a pile of Sasha’s dresses but neither even notice.

There is no time wasted as Harry removed every single article from Y/N’s body quickly as well as his own. He’s leaning forward to suck a few more kisses to her chest as his fingers slip down to crook right up into her hot center.

“No teasing,” Y/N complains, wrapping hands around his biceps and bringing him on top of her more fully. She’s squeezing around his two fingers with need, it has him groaning when he brings them up and sucks them between his pouty lips.

Then she’s not waiting any longer, reaching down and grabbing a hold of his thick length. Harry lets out rumble from his chest at the contact before she’s guiding him into her without any further ado.

“Baby,” Harry chastises as soon as she starts goading him into thrusts with her feet against him bum, pushing him into her harder than he’d usually start, “Y’squeezin’ me s’tight, you missed me too?”

Y/N nods, whining every time he pushes against her spot and sends a zip of arousal through her body. His trimmed hair around his base brushing against her clit causing delicious friction for her.

“No, y’need to tell me,” Harry huffs, hand gripping her jaw harsher than he would if they were having slow, intimate sex. He knew she loved it by the way her eyes twinkle with stubbornness.

“No,” She replies coyly, heels of her feet pressing hard against him to the point it itches with a slight pain. Harry loved his wife so much it was looney.

“It’s fine, don’t need y’to come for me to get off, dove,” Harry replies simply, speeding up his thrusts with his hand holding her jaw for him to press bruising kisses against. His teeth are coming to pull her bottom lip in between.

Something switches in her demeanor though without warning, her voice softer and pliant, “Tell me you love me.”

It has Harry slowing down his hips until he’s rocking deeper into her, going down on his elbows so their noses are bumping. He releases the grip of her chin and instead moves to her bum to encourage her to meet him halfway.

“I love you, s’much it hurts most days,” Harry replies obediently, knowing what his wife needed at that moment. Reassurance. “Most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, then you made us a perfect little baby.”

She’s looking up at him with loving, grateful eyes, landing a gentle peck to his upper lip and letting her head fall back onto the floor. This is what she needed right now from her husband and he was so good at providing.

“Breaks my heart when y’don’t think your a good mum or wife. ‘Cause you’re everythin’ I ever wanted. Why’d you think I write every song about you, lovie? S’cause you’re my soulmate.”

“H,” She whimpers, emotion thick in her throat as she meets his eyes, “I love you so much. You’re the best husband and dad ever.”

“Baby,” Harry murmurs into her cheek, picking up speed as she starts to clench around him in a warning of her oncoming orgasm. He slips his hand down to press a few light rubs to her clit before she’s arching her back and moaning with pleasure.

“You look s’good, coming ‘round my cock,” Harry tells her, helping her ride through it before hitching her hips up even further and thrusting harshly until his hips stutter and he’s coming as well.

“Harry,” Y/N sighs, her breathing coming back to normal as she roams a hand down his shoulders and back - scratching lightly.

“Hmm, dove? Y’want my cock again? Need a few,” He replies into her neck, ever the teenage boy.

She giggles, “No, we have to catch a flight at eight in the morning and it’s currently four-thirty.”

Harry grunts before pulling out and sitting up, “Y’better have packed my favorite pajama pants or I’m goin’ to be cross with you.”

Y/N now regrets the second round of fun as soon as their alarm goes off. Her body sore from the position he’d twisted her into against the shower wall after they packed the rest of Sasha necessities.

They were nearly at the airport with Sasha nodding back off in the carseat. She was excited to see her Nana and Aunt Gemma once again.

Their daughter was in the cutest, comfiest jumpsuit with comic hearts all over it *** and adorable little sock sneakers*** that slide right on and off her feet.

Harry had chucked on black sunglasses, a black jumper with green lettering, black joggers, and blue checkered van with white socks. He was attempting to fly under the radar as much as possible because he knew paparazzi just sit outside the entrances to spot celebrities. ***

It was annoying but he could deal with it when he was mobbed at the airport when he was by himself. But when it was with his wife and baby - he couldn’t stomach it. It’s part of the reason they fly private from a private port.

When they pull up to the curb, a staff member is waiting for them and helps Harry as well as the driver put his luggage on a cart to be brought to the awaiting jet.

Y/N unbuckles the baby who is awake now but bleary-eyed as she’s sitting on the curve of her mother’s hip.

And well - that’s when the madness begins. A pap spots them within seconds of exiting the car and is pulling up his camera for the first shots, the other photographers sitting around follow suit.

As soon as one of them screams, “Harry Styles - look this way!” The jam packed area looks towards them, seeming fans of his start murmuring before following behind the paparazzi pulling their phones out.

Y/N is used to the crowds by now - but just like Harry, not with Sasha around. They tried to avoid situations like this as much as possible. The lights and loud noises were scary to the little girl.

“Mummy,” Sasha whines, picking her head up from her mother’s shoulder to stare wide-eyed at the gathering in front of them.

Harry started to feel anxiety because this was becoming a massive crowd - scratch that, it wasn’t a crowd it was a fucking mob of people. They were all too close, blinding the family with their flashes despite security attempting to push them back.

Fans were shoving and thrusting their phones in Harry’s face, shoving random things for him to sign in front of him. Paparazzi were screaming questions and taking thousands of pictures in a minute’s time.

Harry grabs onto Y/N’s hand tightly, their diaper bag on Harry’s shoulder, and begins to attempt to guide them through the swarm. It was like trying to move through cement, the crowd not budging despite security’s screams.

Sasha is full blown crying at this point into her mother’s neck. Y/N’s hand cupping the back of her head to keep her head down and out of the photographs - holding her as tightly as possible.

Y/N can hear Harry began to curse - signaling that he’s becoming stressed out because he would usually never be rude to the public despite their actions. But he couldn’t give a fuck when it came to his family.

“Move out of the way.”

“D’you not see I have a fuckin’ baby?”

“Get those fuckin’ cameras out of their faces.”

“Back the fuck away from my wife and baby.”

Then Y/N is being shoved by a teenage girl who trips when she thrusts her arm towards Harry. She tumbles into Y/N with her full weight and Y/N’s loses her footing, falling forward - letting go of Harry’s hand.

When she falls, she manages to catch herself with the arm that’s not holding her daughter. But she feels pain in her knees and Sasha emits a sharp wail that alerts Y/N her daughter is hurt.

“Sash, fuck,” Y/N gasps, her motherly instincts automatically kicking in and she’s cradling her daughter as tightly to her chest as she can, shielding her from the swarm who had quieted only a bit.

It must take Harry a second to realize that something had happened, he turns around - eyes frantic as he absolutely roars, “Back the fuck up! I’ll fuckin’ break each and everyone of your cameras! Fucking leeches.”

With that, he’s helping to pull you up and grasping at the two, “Are you okay? Wha’s hurt?”

Y/N just shakes her head, having a panic attack as she shuffles the crying baby into his arms. “Please, just...Sasha. I think she hurt her arm when I fell.”

“Daddy, ouch,” Sasha shrieks loudly into his sweatshirt as he hikes her up onto his chest, her little legs wrapped around his midsection.

“Ssh, y’okay,” Harry tries to reassure her, matching his wife’s panic.

The crowd seems to give way now, the parents rushing their daughter into the airport.

Employees guide them to the medical office on-site where it’s now silent and calm but the family feels anything but.

Sasha’s sobs have turned into moans and whimpers at this point - but come back with a vengeance when Harry has to set her on the exam table and wrestle her out of her clothes until she’s just sat in her diaper.

The nurse was so amazing and kind. She checked Sasha thoroughly for any signs of trauma or broken bones but luckily, it was just a nasty scrape on her forearm that was hurting her. It wasn’t anything serious.

The parents had such concern for their daughter that Y/N didn’t even realize she had bled through her white joggers at the knees ***. The nurse frowns, “Honey, you’re still bleeding.”

“I’m fine,” She insisted even though her knees were aching.

“I’d like to examine your legs, dear,” The nurse tells her sternly, signaling that Harry can dress Sasha again.

He’s digging into the diaper bag for a spare out that they were always ready with. She was calming even more when Harry dressed her in a comfy pink set of clothes with little deer on them. ***

“Love, please let her,” Harry asks softly, pulling Sasha back onto his chest. Her thumb tucked into her mouth and her father hands her a plushie that Y/N had shoved in the bag last minute.

Y/N obliges with the pressure, wiggling the loose fabric down her legs until she’s just in her underwear and shirt - sits up on the table with her knees off to the side for her to examine.

Harry grimaces when he sees the multiple cuts and scrapes tainting her skin. A few slow trickles of blood still oozing from the gashes. The skin is already slowly covering purple and blue with bruises.

The nurse cleans her up, Y/N wincing when the alcohol brushes the cuts but Sasha is smiling again like nothing ever happened and cooing at her mum. It makes them both feel a lot better.

When they’re finally on the private jet, up high into the clouds away from the crowds and paparazzi - it feels like relief. ***

They had tucked their daughter onto the couch with her favorite fuzzy blanket and she’s asleep nearly as soon as her head hits the pillow.

They trail back into the other part of the cabin so that they don’t disturb her, cuddling up on the couch together.

“M’so sorry, I’m such a bad fa-”

Y/N cuts him off before he begins, “If I’m not allowed to be a bad mum - you’re not allowed to be a bad father. It wasn’t y’fault that happened - it’s those careless, crazed people who have nothing better to do.”

Y/N was always the voice of reason in Harry’s head when he started to spiral.

Spiral because his fame was so overwhelming and got his family into difficult situations sometimes. She brought him back to reality.

“Hey, we’re both okay. Just a few scrapes. It was just a lesson, Harry. We just need to be safer and plan better, alright?” Y/N assures him softly, kissing under his chin before resting back - ready to sleep.

“Y’the best. Best mum, best wife,” Harry tells her, encompassing her in his loving hold.

let me know your thoughts bub

come talk to me <3

1K notes · View notes

sargeant-bxrnes · 3 years ago

Text

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.” you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet. You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

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