#it was time for a different perspective methinks

[vivianquill]

It had been almost a full moon cycle, and there was no sign of Tango anywhere.

Etho wouldn't say it out loud, but he was starting to get really worried. He knew better than anyone just how dangerous ocean currents could get in a storm, and how unpredictable they could end up being. Etho himself had been thrown into a crevasse he'd never seen before, which was great luck.

It meant that there wasn't a chance of him getting beached again. Etho made a habit of knowing which direction the shore was at all times, because land meant humans, and humans meant nothing good.

It hadn't taken long for Etho to get back to the valley where Doc's pod was set up, and beyond some minor scrapes and bruising, he'd gotten out of the whole incident pretty well off. Bdubs showed up a few days after him, cut up and missing a few scales, but not much worse for wear either.

And then a quarter-moon went by without Tango showing up. There wer no signs of him, period. Because of their connections through Doc and a few of the other big pods in the area, it was hard for a mer as distinctive looking as Tango to drop completely out of the ocean.

The only way for that to happen was if he'd been hurt bad enough to where he couldn't swim, or he'd been trapped somewhere he couldn't get out of.

That, or he'd been beached.

After a half-moon, Etho suspected that Tango was dead. Or worse.

Hopefully he was dead.

The hivemind had been able to track the storm that had caught Etho's pod off guard.

As it turns out, a large stationary pod in a very distinct location was a very good rendezvous point. The hivemind eventually got their hands on every rumor and scrap of news that made it's way through this part of the ocean.

The storm had swept inland, through a section of sea that was little more than sandbank after sandbank before it ran straight into the shore. It was seeming more and more like Tango had been beached.

Bdubs was insisting that they go looking for him.

Etho couldn't help but be hesitant about what they might find.

In the end, Etho gave in to Bdubs' desires, and they gathered what they needed to go searching. Etho made sure to pack a wide variety of medicines, things to fight an infection, even materials to splint a broken bone. He didn't know how badly Tango might've been hurt-- but it wasn't any question that he was.

And with a series of directions from the hivemind, they were off.

It was a tense quarter-moon for Etho, that was for sure. He hated being this close to land. Etho insisted on giving the human settlements right on the water a wide berth, so it took even longer for them to make any ground.

Etho didn't know what to expect or if they would find any signs of Tango at all.

Bdubs seemed convinced that they would find something.

Etho couldn't decide if finding Tango's scales on that jetty was a good thing or a bad thing.

They'd sheltered in a cove for the day, wanting to get out from under the pounding waves. Bdubs had found a sheltered spot where the waves wouldn't push them right up onto the sand. It was a place that formed a little eddy, where the debris was built up. There was a lot of seaweed and driftwood and human trash caught there.

It had been a flash of sun off some of that human trash that made Etho look closer.

It wasn't human trash at all-- and there were broken scales caught up in the mess. That was mer gear-- pouches and belts made from woven kelp and grasses, even some tools made from shell and flint. After looking closer, Etho's heart dropped out of his chest.

This was Tango's gear, those were Tango's scales, and someone-- or something-- had cut them off. Etho had never heard Bdubs as quiet as he was while they were picking through the mess, and he would probably never hear Bdubs that quiet again.

But the thing that really signed Tango's death sentence was the shredded sections of fishing net tangled in with his gear. And with how clean those cuts were?

Etho dropped what he was holding like it had burnt him. He turned away, squeezing his eyes shut against the dawning horror.

Humans had gotten to Tango. A fate worse than death.

"Etho?" Bdubs drifted closer, "Etho, are you-- are you okay?"

Etho couldn't respond, focused as he was on the water pumping over his gills and the flexing of his spines. The last thing he needed was to stick Bdubs right now. The hivemind had helped him to mix an antidote of sorts for his venom, after he'd accidentally gotten Tango once, but it still wasn't fun to experience.

And this close to a human road? Where they could be spotted if they weren't careful? It would be a death sentence for both of them.

"Hey. Hey-- Etho look at me--" Bdubs took Etho's face carefully in his hands, tipping his face up so their gazes met, "Whatever happened to Tango, we'll find him, alright?"

Etho hugged himself tighter, pressing his spines flat, "The humans got him, Bdubs. That's-- the cuts in his gear? In the netting? It's too clean to be anything but humans. Or another mer, but mer wouldn't cut off another mer's gear and discard it like trash."

"We'll still find him, Etho. Right? We've got to."

Etho puffed out a mouthful of bubbles, trying not to show the despair coating his every thought, "Sure, Bdubs."

"We can comb this place for any clues, I'm sure the humans would have left something." Bdubs gently laced his fingers into Etho's, pulling him away from the rocks, "Let's find a spot to sleep, it's almost noon and we've been up all night. We can come back after dark, all the humans will be asleep and we'll be able to search everything in peace."

Etho nodded, letting Bdubs lead him away. There was nothing they could do. Not right now, when the threat of being seen by humans was so great.

So, they found a sheltered place to hide, and Bdubs left Etho there while he went on a quick hunt. They'd brought food with them, rations that would last for days yet, but they needed to save that for when they found Tango. And right now, Etho was in no state of mind to be hunting.

Bdubs returned maybe an hour later, bringing with him a couple fish and a bundle of edible seaweed, pulled straight from the silt.

Etho ate what he could stomach-- which wasn't much-- and then curled up with Bdubs to hopefully get some rest.

They went back to the beach in the evening.

The tide was low, leaving numerous tidepools along the edges of the jetty where they'd found Tango's gear. Etho and Bdubs combed the beach like a pair of basking sharks, looking for any more signs that Tango had been there. They only came up with more meaningless debris and a few more of Tango's scales.

It was a testament to how distracted Etho was, that the humans had managed to get so close without him noticing. They were practically right in top of him, out on the rocks of the jetty.

"Shhh-- Skizz, you gotta turn off the light or you're gonna scare it away--"

"Ugh, fine. But it's you're own fault if you trip and fall into the water and drown."

Ironically, it'd been the sound of their voices that had alerted Etho to the human's presence, not the dim light they were using to navigate. He immediately took advantage of the light clicking off to dart into the shadows of the rock, whistling a desperate warning to Bdubs.

Also ironically, Bdubs didn't take the warning as a sign to hide. In fact, he popped his head above the water to get a better look.

Etho made a split-second decision, tackling Bdubs back down into the shadows where they could both stay safe and hidden, but it was too late. They'd surely been seen. Both of them.

"Why did you do that? Those might be the humans that took Tango!" Bdubs protested, squirming against Etho's grip.

"That's exactly why, Bdubs." Etho hissed, his eyes peeled for any sort of movement from the humans, "They might try to take us too--"

"Alright, fine. But we should still see if they have anything of Tango's."

"We are not attacking a group of humans. There's only two of us."

"There's only two of them too! We could take them. Especially if I can get them into the water."

"They aren't going to be lured in like fish, Bdubs, and there might be more of them." Etho frowned, letting go of his pod-mate, "But I might be able to get them into the water. But you've gotta stay right here. And stay hidden. Got that?"

Bdubs nodded. Etho could tell he wanted to ask more questions, but as long as he would stay put, Etho would answer all of them. Later.

Etho carefully poked his head above the water to listen, trying to gather more information on what was going on.

"I wasn't seeing things, right? There's two merpeople down there."

"Yeah, I saw them too. They know we're here though. I didn't see where they went. Can you?"

"No dude, they've completely disappeared!"

Good. They were hidden well enough.

"I've got a recording of tango on my phone from before he started talking. Maybe we can get them to come up?"

"That might work. Just be careful."

Etho had been preparing to call back to the humans in their own language, hoping to mimic the sound of one in trouble to get them close enough to pull into the sea with them, when he heard it.

That was Tango's voice. Calling out for him and Bdubs.

Etho choked on air, unable to help his own answering cry before he bit down on his hand to stop himself. No. It was a trick. Etho knew what a recording was. He'd seen them before, heard them before.

The voice was slurred and in pain, and flat in a way that only recordings could be, but it was unmistakably Tango.

The humans were trying to catch him and Bdubs too. That was the only reason they'd do this.

And the worst part was, it might actually work.

Their reaction to his call was immediate, the scuffling of human feet on rock coming closer to them. Etho couldn't focus, not with Tango's voice in his ears. He couldn't bring himself to duck away, to avoid being seen.

Bdubs popped up beside him a moment later, his fellow mer scanning the rocks for any sign of their missing podmate, "Etho-- What? Do they have Tango with them? I can hear him--"

Etho shook his head, fangs still buried in his hand to prevent himself from calling Tango's name, paralyzed as the pair of humans slid down the rocks down to where the tidal pools were, mere feet away from him and Bdubs.

Etho couldn't do anything but watch as he brought a fate worse than death down on the head of his last remaining podmate.

[mossycobblestonewrites]

I was driving home and just listening to my music when inspiration attacked me. I'm an avid country/folk/bluegrass music enjoyer (fight me) and a song from one of my favorite bands came on...

Anyway,, I started brainstorming, and I have chronic "make au and then aus of that au" syndrome and now we are here;

DANNY PHANTOM AU(S)!!!

Lock-down -> you know how Amity is constantly described as not being on the maps? That, now make it worse, the GiW has taken over the town and it's now basically a prison (this one is not fully made because monkey brain liked the other one better)

Allegheny -> fully based off the song lmao, Danny is born in raised in an isolated town. The town is run by the GiW who have been a thing the entire time. The town isn't that much different, the kids go to school, the ghosts still attack. The Fenton's work for the GiW but so does every adult so it's not like they're special. The kids don't like their tyrannical town government (think hunger games the capital visiting the districts, think internment camps, combind them in a blender) everyone is exhausted but it's like, they are in the middle of nowhere, they have no access to the outside, and ghost are attacking so like - are the GiW really in the wrong? Every house is the same but the Fenton's still have a lab in the basement, Danny's accident still happeneds, but everyone knows about ghosts and no one trusts them (think the red scare.) Phantom is born from desperation, Danny sort of bought into the GiW propaganda, but becoming a ghost really changed his perspective. His new goal is to escape, after all, you either work the factory line, man the truck stop gas stations, and join the white suits.

I'm eating Allegheny AU,, I'm gonna write more for it methinks, later though because I have homework and work work and I also have to sleep unfortunately,,, brainrot spreads...

[hwestalas]

Glowing Elf, Part 1

Wanna see the very first piece of Tolkien fan art I ever drew?

This is the scene in FotR (chapter "Flight to the Ford") where Aragorn rushes down to the road to meet Glorfindel:

I learned a lot. For one thing, it was the first drawing in the notepad, and I had accidentally done it upside-down. More pertinently, however, I realized that it's hard to draw details when one zooms the perspective way out.

Armed with this knowledge, I tried again a few days later, being careful to put the notepad upright and to zoom much further in. To make the latter simpler to pull off, I set the drawing a few minutes later, after the initial greeting, when Aragorn beckons the Hobbits to come meet Glorfindel.

I learned three more things: 1) shadows aren't actually jet black, 2) it's hard to lighten black colored pencil after you've drawn darkly with it, and 3) it's surprisingly tricky to make a glowing, golden-haired Elf-lord look both graceful and masculine. I fear that I failed, at least partially.

On the upside, this remains one of my favorite depictions I've made of Aragorn, I enjoyed trying to make a glowy special effect by making the ground around Glorfindel brighter instead of dimmer, and my failure in Elven depiction taught me how to do better in the future! Anyway, without further ado...

POV, you are Hobbit:

At the time, I was under the impression that Elves tended to be a little shorter than humans. I have updated my opinion. Still, Aragorn was very tall, probably more so than most Third Age Elves. But now that I've read the Silmarillion (and various internet rumors about deeper recesses of the legendarium), I have an inkling of the stupendous stature of those First Age legends. If I ever re-draw this particular scene, methinks I shall not merely erase, but reverse the height difference.

("Methinks" is courtesy of Robin Hood. On Thursday, I rediscovered the joys of reading about him before bedtime.)

Explanation of the upper picture:

The purple stuff is heather, and the brown clumps are bilberry brushwood, drawn to the best of my no doubt inadequate knowledge; Aragorn is the awkward figure near the center; Glorfindel is the blue-cloaked golden-haired figure running up toward him; the Hobbits and Bill the Pony are huddled in the upper left corner behind the bushes; and Asfaloth's front half can be scene on the brown road at the lower right corner.

[elsaqueenofstress]

some djats fans are very very insufferable when it comes to the whole "unreliable narrator" aspect of the story. an unreliable narrator is a character who lacks complete credibility or accuracy in their retelling of the story, which is what you get in the book. however, it's not because Everyone Is Lying All The Time On Purpose: it's because they all have literally different perspectives on each moment. warren and graham are convinced that "the six" sounds like "the sex" because it's what they felt at the time, but billy and karen disagree. daisy and billy think that the aurora cover is gorgeous and iconic because it spotlights them, while everyone else rolls their eyes at how predictable it is. warren still believes, forty years later, that karen was hooking up with one of the roadies because graham and karen's relationship was a secret, so his stories are sometimes completely false. graham can't view karen's choice to get an abortion as hers, and emphasizes his own betrayal over the feelings she expressed to him because they hurt too much. things like that!

"unreliable narration" doesn't just mean lying all the time, and it gets a little lame to watch people (most of whom are d/b shippers) claim that's the case. the book's opening lines aren't "they could have been making this shit up!" – they're "some [interviewees] were more forthcoming than others...on matters both big and small, sometimes accounts of the same events differ. the truth often lies, unclaimed, in the middle." there were probably details that characters left out on purpose, but why would everyone, especially after having not spoken in years, have agreed to completely lie about everything? billy tells his grown, adult daughter about cheating on her mother repeatedly, about missing her birth during his addiction, about the deep attraction he felt for daisy. people are so desperate for their ship to have been physically canon that they disregard these details and claim that he was just protecting julia's feelings (again, she's like forty at this point??) or that he and daisy agreed to leave out their apparently torrid affair (which especially falls apart after tjr released the bonus pages, where camila explicitly tells daisy "don't try to sugarcoat anything on my behalf" and daisy promises to do so). it does a disservice to whatever shreds of nuance or subtlety the book had, all traces of which the show decided to throw out the window in favor of cw-level drama and clunky character arcs

anyway the show's reasoning that "this is what really happened!!!" technically doesn't even hold up bc they changed too many random details lmao. like no matter how strong whatever they were smoking during the seventies was, i don't think it was enough for them to mass hallucinate the twins and pete, collectively forget what month they played chicago stadium, and all pretend like graham and karen didn't tell them about their relationship...? loved the casting loved some of the songs loved simone's plot but that was Not a good show methinks

[kowaindar0u]

i present: yuichi's playlist! [spotify] [youtube]

(as of 3/14/2024)

as with most of the playlists i make, some songs are readily applicable, some just have the right Vibe, some are sorta funny... and in yuichi's case, there's a lot of a rain theme going on lol

(also, some are ones from my own tourabu mood playlist that i just had to bring over)

because i've always wanted to do this i'm gonna go through all the songs and maybe explain why i put it there or something?? yolo! playlist guide under the cut lol

i recommend having this going while you listen!

most songs (on the youtube version) have lyrics/translations where available!

there's a lot of kpop don't judge me lol

Dreamcatcher - Full Moon this is a song from dc to their fans on their first anniversary lol, so the themes of a somewhat-new bond are pretty relevant!

Seventeen- Campfire do i even need to explain? sobs this song makes my heart warm ... just thinking about yuichi & all the toudans sitting around a campfire having *sniffles* precious moments... ; A;

Rihanna - Umbrella LMAO this one is very on-the-nose but also just thinking about it's hilarious, i couldn't resist. (plus like... it's a jam. also lyrically it actually does fit!)

Dreamcatcher - Boca be prepared to see a lot of dreamcatcher w/me, they're my Favorite(TM). anyway Boca is about protecting someone from harsh words (better translation is "if those thornlike words / start to hurt you / i won't let them open that boca (mouth)") AND has a very rainy/stormy atmosphere which makes it perfect. yes i know my toudans are Sword Warriors yes i still want to protect them as best i can!! (it's more about like. bullying and hate but yknow. similar sentiments...shhh...)

The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men ...............i don't think i need to explain myself on this >.> (THO HAHA IMAGINE IF THIS WAS HOW SWORDS MANIFESTED IN HIS HONMARU i'm dead)

ToppDogg -Annie (Anniversary) another 'anniversary' type song, i think it speaks for itself. saniwa💙toudans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clean Bandit - Rather Be lyrically, yes!! being a saniwa is not an easy or peaceful job by any means but yuichi wouldn't want to be anywhere else <3 also the song makes me think of rainy/cool moist days!

Seventeen - Home seventeen shows up a decent amount too, but what can i say? the songs fit lol. saniwa-toudan relationships might not always be 100% sunshine and rainbows, but... they are home, no?

Twice - Feel Special GOD. this song came out while i was very into tkrb a few years ago and so that plus the song itself made me actually cry when i first watched it lol. it's so fitting though, i think from toudan or yuichi's perspective. for yuichi, he clearly struggles with his self-worth, and is...well, he's no stranger to a breakdown. but ... he's got so many touken danshi around him who love him

Girls' Generation - Talk Talk no explanation needed methinks! <3 just comparing a love to the rain

SF9 - The Beat Goes On okay this song is just like... pure beach episode, everyone gathering in the sunset and having a great time being free with each other. i include it on so many playlists where i just want to imagine a joyful time with the whole cast of whatever, it just has to go here too, even if you'd be hard-pressed to get yuichi on a beach lol

Yuju - Play this is just strictly for the vibes. i don't know that yuichi has someone who dipped and hurt him like that (but it could be interesting i guess lol). the song just is perfect for the rainy atmosphere

Dreamcatcher - Piri i told u prepare for dreamcatcher lol. anyway this song is literally about like... depression and getting to a point where you need a lifeline. very yuichi, unfortunately

New Politics - One of Us another "do i even need to explain?" song ;u; it's definitely on my tkrb playlist lol. also the lyric video is kinda fun lol imagining it as different toudans at the table

Gfriend - Summer Rain just very nice rainy vibes.

Super Junior - Why I Like You this song (the whole album really) has always given me rainy/humid vibes. but also... love <3 (ofc not necessarily romantic in yuichi's case! but yknow what i mean)

Flo Rida - My House almost a joke addition but like... also almost not a joke LOL

David Cook - Come Back to Me okay this song is tkrb playlist because it's like... 100% kiwame send-off vibes. i initially added it after watching hanamaru, thinking about kashuu sending off yasusada, but i think it also suits most sendoffs very well. i wanna cry. sobs....

SF9 - RPM So I don't have a good reason for adding this to yuichi's or my tkrb playlist other than it makes me think of using time travel to go on a mission. also i just REALLY like the song... and listening to it with the rain going is mmmwah *chef kiss*. just imagine a team going up to the [time travel device] all ready to fucking GO, looking all badass in the mist and shit. and then PPEPWWW they go! and now they're ready to fuck shit up (to un-fuck the timeline)... it's the VIBES AGAIN

Darren Hayes - Bloodstained Heart no words needed <3

Dreamcatcher - Over the Sky another anniversary fan song from dc! this song just makes me so happy and like. energized. spring time. anime conventions. so it's on my tkrb playlist, but it's also a sweet and fun song so, yknow, puts it on.

Ravi - Lean on Me is this yuichi talking to a toudan? or a toudan talking to yuichi? or ? who knows, but either way, i like it. sweet and reliable.

Seventeen - Thanks just... a song about being so grateful to know and love someone.

Major Lazer - Cold Water (the one song with justin bieber i listen to unironically lol)

Seventeen - Holiday oh man just LISTEN to it, even without the lyrics it's just like. fun!! party!! chill!!

SF9 - Bibora a jam. a rainy jam. but also maybe some parts of it speak to yuichi.

Jinsoul (Loona) - Singing in the Rain KNK - Rain Super Junior - Raining Spell for Love Strictly for the vibes.

JBJ - True Colors oh man. this song makes me cry too. my heart...

Starley - Call on Me Another song that I think explains itself lol

Dreamcatcher - Reason yet another anniversary song from deukae but it fits. through all the triumphs and hardships, despair and joy, the toudans in this citadel have become his whole reason for being and they inspire him to keep going and do better and be someone they can depend on and be proud to call their saniwa.

[redswaberkez]

ayo whos ur favorite deus ex character btw nice art

ohhhhh GOD my time has come. and so have i (wRONG GAME)

tldr

i love "main" 7-8 of them equally. What is a main to me? ofc Adam, Frank, Megan, Malik, Eliza, JC and Alex D. One special place in my heart is for Vaclav

big text below

Thank for compliment btw 😖

Spoilers alert ? idk

(warning my english is gonna be sometimes sooo rusty i guess)

DOUBLE WARNING I don’t rule out that over the many years of being in dxs fandom, the main concept of game's lore in my head just didnt messed up with my own headcanons. it is alteady messed up. cuz. yk) me n my besties created the full story aND - [GUNSHOT]

yeah i know it is strange to say, that dx has more main characters that just. Adam, JC and Alex D, cuz. They are Literally The Main chars. But back to my seven.

As i said before i love them all equally, for different reasons. One thing abt dx as a game is that characters arent plain and they are multifaceted.(?)

Adam

I love Adam for his complicated story, personality, for his own struggles, motivations and how they are represented in game. These small environment storytelling pieces and music that creates the mood (wait redswa it isnt abt the environment). What im trying to say. Through the gameS - dxhr and dxmd - we can see how Adam is healing from his trauma, and how heavy it was. Also needet to be noted how he interacts w another characters. AND this tension between him and Frank but how at the end of the day (but lit at panchaea) Frank is still cares a lot abt Adam.

Also Adam is just like my bestie. Moral think for yourself. Yeah.

Pritchard

ONE thing i need to say abt frank is HESSS JUST LIKE MEE FRR, and now imagine some kind of cringe sigma phonk playing on the background. Yeah thats it. I relate to him so much but like. in more✨deep infj cringe way✨ Have you evere feel like Pritchard is gonna explode from nerves or even neurotism? Or like from blast of incomperhensible mess of feelings but he hides it? This is what im talking about. Heyy dont judge me i need to project some shit to my faves okay???? Damn how could you tell i have a lot of hc on dx? i have no idea!

I love Pritchard's informality. I mean. BRO WHY YOUR BIKE IS EVEN ON YOUR WORKPLACE???? AND THIS FINAL FANTASY POSTER???? AND THIS TV INSTALLATION??? honestly?understandable.

In Prague, Frank is still reminds Adam abt himself. Yeah i knoe it is for game purposes, but imo in lore perspective: Pritchard is gathered a lot of info for Adam (basically dxhr retelling), and this small detail: Adam keeps Pritchard's book. (i know you can find them anywhere in Prague, but still (methink eidos gaf later abt this texture and put it anywhere jus because lmao))

This ^^^ is Frank btw

Ok enough abt Pritchard cuz then its gonna be endless

Megan and Malik.

Another notable thing that i like in dx series is that women in game arent sexualized. They arend "simple and f🤮ckable objescts" Megan is a scientist, on a verge of the greatest innovation. Yes. We dont know much abt her bc she is literally missing. Malik is a pilot. Damn i love her sm. Her chardesign. Strong and powerful charisma and nonconfotmity. Faridah's sidequest in Hengsha???? MY GIRLLLL GO AND GET AND BEAT SHIT OF THIS ASSHOLE. 👊👊👊👊

I remember how sad was i, when Malik was killed in dxhr and how happy was i to find out her little gift in Prague.

Overall kinda sad that there is not much screentime of them.

AND another notable thing. Megan and revolver. Revolver as an inspiration. OK I GOT IT

Eliza

Its 2028 and AI is already taken big steps in development. Questions of self-consciousness of an AI were asked in a lot of sci-fi creations. And deus is not not an exception. Love how Eliza obtains her own conscious during the game and how it leads to project Hyron at the end. I have a lot of thought abt p. Hyron overall. Another topic ngl.

And ofc her design is beyond all praise. Thank you designers for NOT making her oversexualized.

During dxmd Eliza is also questioning a lot of essential questions. I know she does. But cant remember what exactly it was. Need to replay tho

JC

My bad, i still cant play through dx original, so i can only rely on his vibes. His vibes are good and silly. He has big meme potential cuz hes test-tubed. Not sorry tho

bro im laughing and exploding from this meme like 3 yrs but RIGHT NOW DURING ANSWERING YOUR ASK I UNDERSTOOD THAT THIS IS SOYJAK REFERENCE AND NOW IM DYING LIKe x3 TIMES I WAS SO BLIND MY VISION WASNT AUGMENTED TILL NOW

Alex D

When my pc even didnt existed and i was a laptop player, when the grass was greener....... I played dxiw. Yeah it isnt so big, but for its times it is good enough. Alex also radiate vibes of small and silly-stupid-Bi guy, the one who is gonna trip on air.

(meme with pom dog says "I will gnaw out your heart and eat it")

Look at him. Hes got an ears, unlike his brothers, but he has ZERO braincells. JC and Paul at least got some braincells, maybe one, or two and they are belong to Paul. Cost of an ears = cost of brain

Alex tried to fool up an AI. I would venture to say that he even flirted with her, and got rejected. Local bidlow tried to gop-stop (bandits tried to steal) his jacked and he could give it to and be like "better be pissed on than punched😖"

Yes, He is a silly fool (noneg, with love) but hes got a big heart like. At least, i remember so.

And last but not least

Vaclav

Love him for his light distinctive punkie nature, with big heart and ready to help whenever you need it. Vaclav tries his best so much. In library we can find cz-eng vocabulary with medical terms, when ig most of his patiens are czechs... says a lot

I would say that vaclav is silly but not stupid, not even naive. We can find him on Dvali's blacklist, but he is important for them. (but we also remember that otar just dont like him cuz vac knows radich's secret and otar is not (mb that the reason why vaclav is blacklisted))

well how to say it.. he's soul is good and lovely, he is not evil or dark. Idk cant find an eng analogue.

But in srb and ru we have доброћудан [dobrochudan] (literally good-lovely) or добродушный [dobrodushny] (good-souly)

actually this gif sums everything abt him very well

Thank you for ask! I really liked to talk on this topic

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Shuichi & Tsumugi Siblings + Saiouma Avian AU

Shuichi gets lethally injured at work, just detective stuff

hmmm don't like the idea of it somehow changing his personality, but interested in seeing him adjust to having to do things differently, learning how to function again, perhaps use new abilities and that resulting in his personality changing

just, getting to see things from a new perspective and needing to readjust his world-view and values accordingly

what if he was a monster hunter prior and now has to deal with partially being one

and what if Kokichi is also one (a monster) and he's the one to show Shuichi the ropes of his new lifestyle

Shuichi gets caught up in what he can't do anymore, but Kokichi comes forward to teach him the advantages of his new form and that different doesn't mean worse

oh and they meet because Shu ran away after seeing himself & finding out he's now "a hideous monster", wanting to hide and never be seen again

so when Kokichi starts mentoring him he also takes him in and they're roommates

not in the classical sense since they're away from civilization and he has more of an "evil lair" rather than a home, but it's big enough for two

he's so insecure about it, even after getting over considering becoming a monster a death sentence he spends the longest time certain Kokichi is mocking him when he compliments him (and he does that a lot)

Shuichi had transplants from a member of the same race Kokichi was born as, it cannot be concealed and whatever he has is considered hot for their beauty standards but he doesn't know it so they have plenty of moments where he's being miserable over & complaining about some traits, how obviously non-human they make him while Kokichi is in the background fangirling over how powerful he is

There have to be claws and wings involved ...at this point I can't go back from imagining them as some sort of bird people

Kokichi is a magpie and his place can be considered an evil lair because he has some stolen goods there, he didn't have to lie about it

raven Saihara

(replying to a question in the Pit, asking for them to be harpies) don't harpies live in a matriarchal society? bc those two live alone in the woods, ig they could be, it would imply that Ouma is a runaway too, just two guys who decided to abandon living in a society, in one nest because they are gay

(another suggestion) You can alter the myth slightly methinks sjfjd or just say Kokichi was outcasted But I can just yell avians if you want to be 100% factual

or that, I was honestly going to name them were-birds and say they also transform in full birds on occasion bc why not, but anything works

once he gets to the acceptance stage he goes back to Tsumugi's lab and apologizes for running off, then he works up his courage to also reunite with his uncle and even introduce Kokichi but only after Tsumugi made sure it was safe, he didn't want to risk it otherwise

"So what do you do for a living, young man?" Ko: "Mostly theft" Shuichi's Uncle, a detective who raised him: looking at Shu, trying to communicate "what did I do wrong?" without words but he grows to like Ouma eventually, after seeing how he improved Shuichi's self-esteem

their getting together moment has got to be around the time Shu realizes Kokichi's compliments were always genuine, so I think the timeline would be first reuniting with Tsumugi,

then getting together because he needed some sort of comment from a 3rd person to realize,

then meeting with some friends he knows wouldn't freak out at Mugi's lab*, those people also becoming Tsumugi's friends so she mellows out and at the end of all that feeling up to face his uncle's reaction, having Tsu set the meeting up

*it's a safe location outside of the city, so they don't have to risk being spotted by random humans

and once his uncle surprises him by being accepting he also meets up with friends he expects to freak out at least a little bit (Momota does, in fact, freak out, but not about Saihara being a monster or disappearing for two or three months, it's about his relationship with Ouma. Shuichi has to explain Kokichi's sense of humour to him so he doesn't get a heart attack)

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] am going thru hte ask and methinks everything's settled and now we can go bac to square one of our routine braining i think <333 ALSO I SAW THE POST ABT THE. DNI with me unless you are a perfect clone of me like REAL SO REAL altho we have diff interpretation on things icb i did manage to find someone out of pure coincidence who likes 98% of what i like abt xlmi and genshin in entirely i just <3333333 like EEEEEEEEEEEEEE i finally have a reason to take my mind off twitter. tumlr ur always hte man 4 me. anyway

"its just part of his life part of his duty nothing more and nothing less. but that doesnt stop the shame that comes with anything he perceives as failure" OH GOD YEAH THAT IS SUCH AN EXCEPTION he holds high standards of what he does to ppl but not what he does for himself. it just feels so fucking painful abt xiao's character never considering himself in everything Except when it comes to other ppl to the point he goes for self sacrifice is SO!!! and yet what he does hold such noble intentions of a selfless hero even by the means of thankless acts, that he'll never be a figure to be worshipped and known as much as other adepti do. "After living for so long... to die in the act of saving others would not have been a terrible thing." is always a line that gets me about his character in entirety that he really needs to see things in another perspective too.

"it may not be the Main focus but zhongli and xiao's relationship in this fic is basically the second biggest focus beyond xiao himself/the xiaolumi of it all tbh" even before The Brainrot Festivals GOD WE ARE SHARING THE BRAIN. ive always had this impression since the start i knew of xiao those years ago, how important zhongli is as that certain figure in his life; a master a mentor a guardian just someone who reflect on his life for experiencing the same thing. but xiao doesnt know that well about zhongli, about morax, and how much the guy's changed and felt the need itd be better for xiao himself to change too. it doesnt have to be the same, for what zhongli tries to teach him, it had to be something that makes his life at least, if not bearable, is simply for xiao to be comfortable and free of suffering bc the guy doesnt let himself to. and dkfksajhdas i explore this sm though brainrots and all the different scenarios like when i told u about them going fishing, and then there's the very Very important chain of events i had in mind how it is when xiao coped about rex lapis' death and what happened after knowing.

it's a little embarrassing to explain how but like yknow my tendency to just Hurt Xiao in ways not completely whump but in a form of vulnerability he truly needs that attention and care bc of his routines and duty are slowly eating him inside out. vulnerabilities of his emotional detachment affecting his body that makes him so human. i think abt how he supresses so much in the past pre-morax he genuinely doesnt know how to express anymore, and when he does, its a sensation so overwhelming that his body isnt used to it anymore with the catharsis all the fight and flight responses the adrenaline giving him the chest pain of just,.. having emotions yknow. and the death of the yakshas the disappearance of bosacius all had different magnitudes of emotion that the death of rex lapis affected him so much being the last straw of it all, how it all crashes down when exuvia fell and not rising back up again giving him that strong reaction then he Overworks To Cope.

then comes the time zhongli came to the balcony (in canon he reveals the truth in dreams,.. but i Like the two that they have a diff confrontation bc of how much zhongli knows xiao back then until the present) to tell everything, just for the revelation to hit xiao like a truck the pain the catharsis the exhaustion Everything hes been through the past few days where zhongli prolonged saying the truth now hit him that his body couldnt take it all and just shuts down. like boom he collapsed. and that's not a good reaction at all, and yet the yaksha recovers (as much as he managed, despite how weak it rendered him), assuring he's ok, trying to dismiss it with the same numbness that plagued him since morax saved him. back to square one. mf factory resetted himself, starting over. rex lapis is alive and thats good in all things thats it, all the unwilling attempts in processing it are now useless. and it brings a whole new story of how zhongli sees this all unfold altogether.

and i just,... shniffsniff....... think about what comes after, bc zhongli is not gonna let that slide even if he's pretending as a mortal even if he has to spend most of his time in the harbor since he wants to, but he also wants the best for xiao; the only one who hasnt let go of the past and accept change like the adepti does bc he doesnt know how. and its through the little things; giving the remedium, be it through posting or directly to the inn (id like to think verr goldet is the only one who knows by mere guess hes rex lapis, but respects his decision to step down no matter the reason, and zhongli trusts her immensely on the secret in exchange he becomes that special balcony visitor. an unspoken agreement o both of them.), the times xiao blacks out from karma and he wakes up on bed in his personal room in the inn with cold tea by the bedside. when he finishes his battle in the middle of heavy rain, drenched and cold, and he feels the bullets on his shoulder stop from the shield of an umbrella behind him; zhongli doesnt say anything more than to advise him of proper shelter nearby. when he finds xiao curled up, knees on his chest in his own needed respite, in pain but also in shame, zhongli takes the time to simply kneel and pat his head and keep him company until xiao can quietly teleport away. like god do you have any idea how much i love the thought of parental zhongli or at least a zhongli who Cares like can you tell

anyway icb thats enough for me to go on 4 paragraphs longer than i intended OK MOVING ON EVERYTHING YOU EXPLAIN ABOUT XIAOS WINGS,... GOD its the way it makes sense it makes so much sense he'd rather have any semblance of his past severed to build himself anew but its kinda funny too. that he intends as such and yet he also doesnt; still thinking himself as sinful as he was as the bloodhound who deserves all the punishment when the whole point of starting anew is Not Doing That and actually continue as a fresh warrior with new roles and new things to do without counting the past. like WHAT BRO

personally id go for the first one bc i still like the thought he keeps them for the mere sentimentality and i feel like he wouldnt bear to lose the only thing he wants to hold on about a childhood he lost before, even if he doesnt remember it. the mere thought of it existing providing him that sort of painful comfort its still there, even if seeing it hurts knowing he cant taste the joy of flight anymore. having flight being out of reach and he'd have constant reminders of it is just that little sign xiao never really moved forward even in the beginning o)-( he doesnt even summon it after it recovered, doesnt even pay attention while people tended it, only finding the solace of it existing at his back. and yknow for the Pain Points i actually thought that after it had been mangled so bad xiao never actually showed it to anyone its condition despite his human body recovered and he purposely Dismisses Its There than just Knowing, and its only when the pain of it being untreated becomes unbearable and at the right topic being brought up did he reveal them. guizhong had been so terrified of its condition, so pitied and devastated that they werent told and xiao was so small so young hes a child hes a child and he revealed them without an change in his expression to the moment he falls from the pain. the way he speaks of his wings as a mere fact it existed. and at some point in her grief to him she felt the need to just,.. restore his flight by making mechanical wings bc she just knew his real ones wont support him anymore even after treatment. and morax himself shared the exact sentiment, the two standing forlornly and the half-progress blueprints guizhong spent day and night in her tears to just give xiao back what he lost.

other bits im just AUUUUUUUUEUEUHUSHFVUFBKDSHFKJSDFKH SO TRUE SO TRUE UEEEEEEEEEEE CUS I RAN OUT OF BRAIN JUICE WRITING THE OTHERS. like i hope u get da message. i rlly spend everything on two things JDFHKSDJFHKSDJH ok but wait "learning to feel human learning to live as mortal people do learning the values of life itself learning how to love the little things" LIKE MAN....................................... also giggling wit u thats the problem on the theory when 500 yrs had passed then wats the use of scouting, hows the other world going bro? 500 yrs late and alrd destroyed? yeah

teehee

"i finally have a reason to take my mind off twitter" YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and in the end isnt that the most important thing of all… LMAO no but genuinely so so so glad bc ur right the sheer Coincidence of liking so many of the same aspects of this game i love it so bad we're so cool and epic for this fr

"never considering himself in everything Except when it comes to other ppl to the point he goes for self sacrifice" yeah o(-( THE NOBLE INTENTIONS THE THANKLESS ACTS… dies a little bit. AND YEAH THAT FUCKING LINE KILLS ME EVERY TIME ITS SO. IM SO. IM SO.

"a master a mentor a guardian" HE IS SO IMPORTANT TO XIAO AND THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME !!!!!!!!! and ohhh my god xiao not realizing how much has changed and that zhongli thinks itd be for the better if xiao changed too… trying to teach him how to be comfortable and how to suffer less………..

"my tendency to just Hurt Xiao in ways not completely whump but in a form of vulnerability he truly needs" NO BC UR SO BASED FOR THIS imo xiao is like. either a) you have to really Get In There and take his walls down brick by brick with so much patience and care, or b) something uncontrollable has to come in and smash those walls to pieces all at once, to the point where he needs the help from others where he has no choice but to let people in and be vulnerable around them. specific people cant really try to force it, i REALLY dont think that would work at all i think thatd make things so much worse, but either lots of patience and care or smth that isnt done Purposefully By Anyone Else for the sake of him opening up yknow??

"bc his routines and duty are slowly eating him inside out" NO BEACUSE YEAH. YEAH. GOD. his karma :handshake: his duty settling on his shoulders consuming his life eating away at him so slowly but surely. and what would he do without them? who would he be without them? he doesnt even know. he thinks there'd be nothing left but there'd be so much and then so much room for him to grow, too, and i just. i just. fmgnmdfngmfdg.

THE CHEST PAIN OF EMOTIONS repressing so much he literally just doesnt know what to do with it im so. Explodes. that last fucking straw after centuries of hardship is something that can be so. AND XIAO TRYING TO DISMISS IT WHEN HE FLAT OUT COLLAPSES being ashamed to have been so """weak""" as for that to have happened going back to square one with feeling numb im so. and the way that changes zhongli's perception of everything ohhhhh my god. xiao going from someone so strong and resilient, every bad thing seemingly rolling off without stopping him, only to realize that while he is strong and he is resilient everything that he seemed to have dealt with on his own has just. made its way into his chest and festered there, buried and ignored and rotting, eating him alive bit by bit.

"but he also wants the best for xiao, the only one who hasnt let go of the past and accepted change like the adepti do bc he doesnt know how" THISSSS he doesnt know how. god. GOD. xiao seemingly so detached from the past, he himself not realizing just how much he clings to it the fact that he's still living in it something something a house on fire something something being so used to something that you dont realize its not supposed to hurt this much, its not supposed to feel this way.

"(id like to think verr goldet is the only one who knows by mere guess hes rex lapis)" THIS FUCKS i support this wholeheartedly it makes a lot of sense and mmmmm the mutual respect and trust they have for one another even unspoken…. the care they have for xiao the gratitude that someone is looking after him in ways they themselves are unable to do…. explodes.

BLACKING OUT AND WAKING UP ON HIS BED ohhh my god. there is osmething So Personal about all of that about zhongli not always actively Doing Something or Saying Anything but just BEING there being around xiao showing that he cares that xiao isnt alone. fuck. I CAN TELL AND I LOVE IT SO BAD ITS SO GOOD idk i like. i rly liked the idea?? but it takes more of a push for me to really Think About and brainrot parental characters or guardian figures and everything youve ever said abt them has made me go from "yeah that fucks, nice" to "yeah that FUCKS let me think about every scenario ever on earth with them now" which i am so grateful for <3333

"still thinking of himself as sinful as he was as the bloodhound who deserves all punishment when the whole point of starting anew is Not Doing That" YEAHHHHH man said alright let me sever all ties let me cut myself loose. except for every awful thing i have ever done which will live with me in my heart forever amen. king PLEASE

and god yeah wanting to hold on even without remembering it, that painful comfort the constant reminder of what he once had and never will again and IT BEING A SIGN THAT HE NEVER TRULY MOVED FORWARD…. man. Man. guizhong being so horrified and sympathetic, mourning for him when he cannot mourn for himself, MECHANICAL WINGS……. thinks so hard about those blueprints gathering dust, not quite perfected, eternally unfinished. thinks so hard about the traveler someday stumbling across them, or zhongli after his retirement digging them up again, either way them going to each other with the knowledge and searching for someone who could help make them a reality, working with perhaps inventors from fontaine and getting venti's blessing similarly to how its his power that allows the wind gliders to work (i think??) and using the traveler's knowledge from other worlds and familiarity with flight and determination to help xiao regain what was lost.

i like to think that where lumine is awfully fond of nature aether excels with machinery, maybe she could use what she'd learned from him or maybe he himself In The Aftermath if things go well enough could help and just. god. polishing up those finishing touches making them work testing them out. xiao being able to fly again. xiao healing enough mentally to be able to bring himself to even try fly again.

[letamthoughts]

Avatar: The Way of Water (Real 3D) (2022)

i really like it (mid tier?) 10/10

stopped noticing the 3D after awhile (again), but shit was great no clue what the difference is between Real 3D and 3D, though (Pre-Edit: https://www.amctheatres.com/reald-3d) HFR was worth it last time, but mostly during the close-up action scenes

(Minor Spoilers)

ah, the first reunion makes more sense now that i actually bothered to count the mili-Navi; 12 of them got off that ship and 5 died during the first reunion; half-ish were lookout while they checked the area o'dude called her out like that during first reunion to get her to reveal her location

(Moderate Spoilers)

so many little things in here: youngest son getting saved same way oldest did during the reunion (learned from dad), o'dude getting Spider outta the way before firing at Neytiri, o'dude starting a "because you weakend me" arc (moderate Arcane spoilers), "Let's get it done, then", both sons not listening to dad saving somebody in the end (Neytiri during reunion, dad after the boss fight) oh, that end dual was basically Titanic (you know the scene) and The Revenant (end fight) in one; nice~ so Spider's gonna learn the way of water now? :3 this dude needs a Navi body, fo'real did they take the tracker out of his mask or what? it's gonna come back to bite them eventually once he's out of the chain of islands

Post-Edit: Forgot to add 1) the tail grabbing from Spider in this one being similar to Jake’s from the first one and 2) birth mom (Kiri)’s log in the beginning preemptively foreshadowing whatever dafuq Dr. Garvin’s was researching; methinks they were both coming to the same conclusion

(Major Spoilers)

Neytiri definitely lost herself after the eldest's death and went into a controlled rage; like, she kinda shut down after Jake calmed her... was a bit disturbing if i imagine what that looked like from everyone else's perspective 🤔 eldest son's death, blood on the youngest's hands; just because he went out to save his friend (the outcast); das some guilt it all worked out in the end, though (mostly), especially since both times the eldest told the youngest to call dad

[heybeyby]

Top 5 favorite character groups? Like duos, trios, teams, etc :3

oooh character groups they are all very beloved <3

5. Nile/Demure. like they make sense right? these two have spent more time together canonically (after kyoya flat out abandoned them after the world championships like come on dude. listen i love kyoya but he needs to work on his attitude) and i just think they'd have a better relationship. i have a lot of headcanons abt them ill probably post another time hehe

4. Wang Hu Zhong of course. their characters separately are so fun to think about but as a group? found family moment moment! the relationship between daxiang and chi-yun is not talked abt enough despite having a whole episode dedicated to it. those two are definitely the closest in the team, having been friends for the longest time. i like to think abt the disparity between daxiang and chi-yun (raised in a temple in the mountains for most of their lives) and zhouxing and mei-mei who seem to be ones that visit the city the most. the first two have totally gotten lost in a mall more than once lmao

3. jack and damian (romantic or platonic). idk i always had the feeling that jack was probably the only one that actually cared enough to visit damian post-masters. that boy has so much baggage he needs a proper support system OKAY. jack helps damian integrate into society and they both go to therapy together :heart:

2. team excalibur oooooo these guys. some white people are okay methinks. you know how i feel abt Julian fucking Konzern he's my nemesis. he's my pathetic little meow meow. my silly little rabbit <3. a lot of my love for them comes from headcanon BUT i adore them in canon nonetheless. one thing i find interesting is that sophie wales and julian are like. a set. they have history. but with klaus it introduces a more... diverse dynamic??? if that's the right word. He respects his teammates obviously but you can see he has different perspectives on beyblade and ultimately different motivations. he's an outside perspective that i think the other three really need. okay i could examine klaus and his dynamic with excalibur all day but i need to move on.

1.DSS trio YIPPEE *throws confetti*. yeah im predictable. frankly idek what possessed me to be obsessed with these three. from their dark nebula days to their limited appearances post-fusion i just love thinking abt them so much JKADHFAKJFASKJFDAS. the best part abt being obsessed with minor characters is that you just get to make shit up. the only one with a smidgen of a backstory is tetsuya and even then i just love expanding upon a joke character huh. JUST. they are absolutely inseparable but none of them would admit it yk? i love that kind of dynamic in a group they're all stubborn and flawed and honestly not the best people individually but that's what makes them great! Also feel like i should mention teru my beloved he's like an honorary member in my mind :swirling_heart:

[your--isgayrights]

Oh yay permission to send you fic related asks!! I'll start off by saying I lvoe how youre pulling off the limited POV, especially during longer conversations where the different intent and miscommunications pile up. it seems to me like you have a very clear grasp on the very different things/interpretations they all have going on in their own head. i like trying to understand what the non-kdj party must be thinking at the time, so i wanted to ask how much of their viewpoint do you map out/how do you do it when writing them? like, does it come naturally from their characterization, or do you ever need to write a bit from the other character's POV to know where theyre coming from?

Annooooon let me tell you a secret bestie... I pretty much always want to answer asks about my fic lmao. if you've been holding back DO NOT. <^This guy has written and published almost 100,000 words about this particular topic, methinks he might be a bit of a chatterbox about it...

GREAT question too. I think that like you say, KDJ's biased POV is really one of my favorite parts of writing the fic. It let's me create these situations where literally EVERY character is thinking something Completely Different is happening than the others, which is my favorite form of comedy. With this you also get to sort of juggle with the Reader's perspective, because with fanfiction you can expect that the reader will have a certain baseline understanding of the characters that lets them sort of see through the veneer of the social interaction as to what's really going on. I think that this kind of writing/reading is less about planning out and practicing at multiple POVs like you suggest and more about like exercising some empathy muscles for reader and writer... In the first place I think that I started the practice of really writing in order to become more articulate about expressing my own emotions, so I think a part of that is trying to express the emotions and perspectives of characters... And when you're viewing someone from the outside and are trying to understand them that way, you only get the avenues of their dialogue and their actions, and when you're writing a conversation it's easy to naturally work reactions in like that.

I don't really write out more than like notes about what's going to happen, so like, for example, popular scene in chapter 3: Shin Yoosung gets a stuffed animal from a gachapon machine. So, like, I know in my head that I have this specific characterization and take on Shin Yoosung, she's sort of a kid that is used to being disappointed by adults in her life but takes it onto herself. So when her mom forgets her birthday her thought process becomes "Well, I'm a big girl now, who cares? It doesn't matter that much anyway," she thinks like this to avoid having to be disappointed in her parental figure, but her rationalization doesn't hold up to her real emotion, which is where LGY and KDJ are able to provide support to her... I feel like all this just comes naturally from my interpretation so I would sort of know this about the characters like you know a person, right? Then the note is just about what plot point should occur, "SYS's mom forgets her birthday, KDJ buys her a cake, gochapon." Then I might write a bit of that scene and then just move it around in the outline where I see fit. So, like you say, I have the idea that SYS is having this dramatic moment where she tries her best to hold back her feelings, and then one adult in her life says "you don't have to, even if you feel sad for no reason, in this moment I'll do my best to make you happy" through his actions, it's obviously something that matters a lot to her. It really would be way to much trouble to have to write out a whole separate aspect in her perspective though, so there's no practice like that.

What I DO practice is that sometimes I take multiple cracks at a draft if I feel it isn't striking the right tone. Last chapter I was really held up by the LHS and JHW scene, because I hadn't quite hit the right vibe with it I felt. It's a bit difficult because what I had in my notes was basically "m/f couples that exist to be foils to gay romance are valid," so I think that my first drafts were way too heavy handed about that, and too LHS focused too. I think that another struggle I had in general that chapter was worrying about KDJ coming on a little too strong and messing up the pacing of the Vibes, because it's the beginning of this transition period in his emotional state which needs to be in a certain place by the end of 4.4... OK no one cares about that. Basically I was struggling to segue into the LHS & JHW discussion, then the one on one LHS and KDJ discussion without it coming across as making JHW's traumatic experience all about her male partner you know? Because a recurring dynamic I've tried to portray is someone who feels helpless vs someone who needs help, and the amount of care we have for our loved ones, being a survivor vs being a savior, what those concepts mean, etc. Like knowing your loved one is in danger and there's nothing you can do, that's one of the core emotions right, so I was trying to bring that out without having any weird implications if that makes sense.

Basically I was struggling and struggling with it until I realized that what I had written was basically a LHS & KDJ scene, then a JHW & LHS scene, then a JHW & KDJ scene, then a LHS & KDJ scene again. So I had the picture of the individual characters in my head, but I had failed to connect them to one larger group dynamic, just attaching them to each other in what were essentially duologues.

The break in the case for that one, and the reason I'm telling you about this I guess, was being able to have an experience in my real life that was sort like this. Basically I was visiting two of my pals I hadn't seen for a while at a ballroom dance tournament where they were participating and I was observing. We hadn't all hung out in person in a good while, and I realized that I felt a bit awkward and didn't know what to talk about, whereas they could both talk to each other about ballroom dancing and get conversation going that way... This let me really crack what JHW's perspective was, lol. I was like. Oh. She thinks she and KDJ are participating in the same ballroom dance competition.

There was also this aspect of "this m/f couple literally Can't Cope without their Favorite Little Guy. what's the point of being comphet if your gay boy best friend has been imprisoned/hospitalized for his crimes against humanity" that I wanted to incorporate after rereading some parts of orv...

Okay IDK if this makes that much sense but basically here's what I had in my notes about that conversation:

JHW is having an awkward catch up with her ex and is relieved that her friend who she Knows How To Interact With is there.

LHS is like wow I'm hanging out with my Cool friend but I'm cringe fail so i don't know if she hates me, its a good thing my Cool superior from work is here to support me.

KDJ is sitting next to blorbo from his arm and trying to do narrative math to figure out how soon he and/or JHW are going to die violently (make LHS sad).

Then I just rewrote basically the whole thing and it worked out fine lol. Basically cracked onto the perspective of "KDJ desperately tries to be a third wheel but JHW and LHS are actually really into tricycles and would absolutely eat shit if you asked them to ride with just the two wheels." It became hilarious to me how enthused they both were to have him there and how much he Did Not Want to be there lmaooo.

God Ok. Rambling. Um basically I don't generally do drafts written from different perspectives I don't plan to include in the final draft bc I feel like there's extra work involved in that. So I'm mostly writing from real life experience with the way real people work/my own understanding of characterization. I do take notes sometimes about plot events/character moments that need to happen in my outline. Like recently I reread the stuff I published takin notes on where YJH's head is at bc of 4.4 stuff that's happenin... haha.

I DO sometimes write other characters' POVs though. I think some of them might be included towards the end or in extras after I'm done with the main story. Like I have snippets of some soosang stuff and excerpts from HSY's writing. And then, not to spoil anything, but you know how ORV has more third person povs as the story goes on? My work may or may not have some of such funny business lol.

Thanks for reading and thanks a lot for your ask!

[ruby-whistler]

Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

[nordleuchten]

Hi ! Facts about the Lafayette couple. Thanks.

Hello Anon,

well, well, the La Fayette couple, Adrienne and Gilbert  - where to even begin with these two? Their marriage was arranged and arranged marriages were very common for the time and people of their position. A family with wealth, a title and influence was keen on preserving all of this – and tried to add to it by trying to arranging marriages with families who as well had at least one of these things. A truly popular combination was a family with a great name/title that had fallen on hard times and a very rich family without too great a name. Now, La Fayette and Adrienne were lucky in so far as that they really loved each other. Their marriage was far more than pure convenience. Still, not everything was picture perfect. La Fayette had different mistresses and although he loved Adrienne, I always feel like it took him quite some time to realise just how wonderful Adrienne truly was, how loyal and devoted. It was not entirely uncommon that a man and a women in an arranged marriage barely know each other prior to their marriage. That again was different with La Fayette and Adrienne. La Fayette actually lived with his future in-laws together in their house prior to the marriage. Behind the scenes everything had already been sorted out, but the bride and the groom were still none the wiser (although La Fayette was told before Adrienne was told). Partly responsible for this living-arrangement was Adrienne’s mother, the Duchess d’Ayen. She was the metaphorical lioness protecting her cubs. She was fiercely protective of her daughters and thought that Adrienne was still way too young. So La Fayette moved in with them, they had some time to get to know each other and to mature a bit. La Fayette also won over the Duchess, who was a bit skeptical at first.

When La Fayette and Adrienne finally married, she was fourteen and he was sixteen. Their marriage contract stated that they should continue to live with Adrienne’s family and that their marriage was not be consumed for some time. This rule again was included due to the input of the Duchess – who still thought her daughter way too young for any martial endeavours. Regardless of that, Adrienne became pregnant with the couples first child during this proposed period – the popular opinion is, that La Fayette after some time simply wanted to be with Adrienne and sneaked into her room (something that he supposedly confessed to later in life). Whatever happened, they both seemed quite happy.

When La Fayette departed for America, Adrienne was completely clueless, she said that herself but there is also circumstancel evidence to support her statement. She had a young and sickly daughter to look after, a daughter that would die a few months later when La Fayette was still in America. She furthermore was pregnant with their second child and Paris was on fire with rumours. Newspapers printed rumours about La Fayette’s death on the field or something similar every other day and she often had no possibility of hearing from her husbands for months and months (before La Fayette’s first return to France they had not heard from one another for roughly eight months). The news of the death of their oldest child Henriette reached La Fayette so late that he send Adrienne many letters asking about Henriette, asking if she was well, long after Henriette was deceased. But despite all of it, Adrienne put up a brave face in public and never complaint. In general, whether she agreed with her husband or nor, weather she liked what he did or not, she never criticised him in public, never embarrassed or questioned him in front of others.

After the conclusion of the war in America La Fayette and Adrienne together with their children moved into their own home. They were, for people of their time and status, very engaged parents. They started hosting their “American Dinners” on Mondays and Adrienne was also included in La Fayette’s “Plantation-Project”. La Fayette kept a lively correspondence with George Washington but Adrienne also exchanged letters with Washington. There is one lovely, humours account by Washington in a letter to La Fayette dated September 30, 1779:

“(...) But at present must pray your patience a while longer, till I can make a tender of my most respectful compliments to the Marchioness. Tell her (if you have not made a mistake, & offered your own love instead of hers to me) that I have a heart susceptable of the tenderest passion, & that it is already so strongly impressed with the most favourable ideas of her, that she must be cautious of putting loves torch to it; as you must be in fanning the flame. But here again methinks I hear you say, I am not apprehensive of danger—My wife is young—you are growing old & the atlantic is between you—All this is true, but know my good friend that no distance can keep anxious lovers long asunder, and that the Wonders of former ages may be revived in this—But alas! will you not remark that amidst all the wonders recorded in holy writ no instance can be produced where a young Woman from real inclination has prefered an old Man—This is so much against me that I shall not be able I fear to contest the prize with you—yet, under the encouragement you have given me I shall enter the list for so inestimable a jewell.”

This is just such a funny, carefree, teasing letter between the three of them. Its adorable. But these carefree times soon came to an end with the onset of the French Revolution (you could argue that the Revolution had already begun long prior to 1789 but in that year it rapidly gained speed).

La Fayette entangled himself in the political and military matters of the day and when everything started to go down the hill (from his perspective at least) he tried to fled to America and got caught before he even could reach a harbour. Adrienne and the children stayed behind in France. Now, it had became some sort of custom that the women of (aristocrat) man who fled France during the Revolution “divorced” her husbands. (“Divorce” because these divorces were often not real civil divorces in accordance with the law but more a sort of public separation from their “treacherous and anti-republican” husbands that could get these women a passport and/or out of prison. It also opened them the opportunity to marry again later in life.) Somebody proposed a divorce to Adrienne and she was absolutely repelled by the idea. She had married La Fayette for better and for worse and she would not, not under any circumstance divorce her husband. Period. In fact, she started signing all her papers with “la femme de Lafayette”, “the wife of Lafayette”. After and eventful and fearful time, Adrienne was eventually released from her prison in France. She gathered her two daughters (her son was safe in America with his tutor) and went to Austria were La Fayette was still imprisoned in Olmütz. She had some family connections to the court in Vienna and eventually obtained the permission of sharing her husbands imprisonment. Although accounts vary, all accounts agree that Olmütz was a true hell-hole. Adrienne and her children were treated better than La Fayette  - but the treatment was still not good. Soon Adrienne became ill and the prison doctor could not really do anything. Adrienne was told that she was free to go, leave this place behind, find a good doctor, settle down somewhere more comfortable. Nobody wanted to see her suffer or even die. The only stipulation, if she would leave now she was not allowed to ever return – and with that Adrienne stayed and suffered and hasted her death because she would not leave her husband behind. In my opinion her sacrifice at that moment made La Fayette understand just how incredible his wife was. He never forgot what she endured for him and her actions probably lead their relationship to unknown heights.

After they were eventually all released from prison they settled first in Danish-Holstein and then in the Netherlands before returning to France. Adrienne managed to regain a lot of the property that they had previously lost during the Revolution. Although she was successful in that regard, her health (and beauty) was forever ruined. Despite all that she took great joy in seeing her children marry and becoming a grandmother. When Adrienne died on December 24, 1807 La Fayette was absolutely shattered. He wrote a very, very long and very, very sad letter to a friend, retelling Adrienne’s last days and expressing his grieve:

“As yet you have always found me stronger than circumstances, but now this event is stronger than me. Never shall I recover from it. During the thirty - four years of an union in which her tenderness, her goodness, the elevation of her mind, charmed, adorned, honoured my life, I felt myself so used to all that she was to me, that I could not distinguish it from my own existence. She was fourteen, and I was sixteen, when her heart amalgamated itself with everything that could interest me. I knew I loved her, I knew I needed her, but it is only now that I can distinguish what life which I had thought was to have been entirely devoted to worldly matters. (...)”

The letter is really long but so worth the read if you are interested. Really! It is such an honest, open, affectionate and reflected statement of their relationship. Adrienne’s last words were “Je suis toute à vous” (I am all yours) and La Fayette had these words inscribed on a miniature of Adrienne that he constantly had upon his person. Here is an account of the portrait from Jules Germain Cloquets book “Recollections of the Private Life of General Lafayette, etc”:

“In his children he cherished the memory of their mother, (Mademoiselle de Noailles,) whom he had loved most tenderly, and whose name he never mentioned but with visible emotion. One day during his last illness, I surprised him kissing her portrait, which he always wore suspended to his neck in a small gold medallion. Around the portrait were the words, “Je suis à vous ,” and on the back was engraved this short and touching inscription, “ Je vous fus donc une douce compagne: eh bien ! benissez moi .” I have since been informed that regularly every morning Lafayette ordered Bastien [his valet] to leave the room, in which he shut himself up, and taking the portrait in both hands, looked at it earnestly, pressed it to his lips, and remained silently contemplating it for about a quarter of an hour. Nothing was more disagreeable to him than to be disturbed during this daily homage to the memory of his virtuous partner.”

I hope you have/had an awesome day!

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG197!

- I like how Basira and Jon immediately installed the setting (“Watch your step…! Long way down.” “It’s fine. The stickiness helps.”): big hole and strands of webs everywhere, funnel full of tapes going far down below, tapes probably unrolled a bit themselves, many tape recorders squeaking voices now and then and occasionally rewinding.

(I’m especially fond of the selected fragments of voice heard at the end of last episode and the tapes rewinds in this one, because it felt like a call-back to the beginning of the season, when Jon was obsessively relistening to the tapes that had been sent to him: stopping and rewinding and listening, again and again, to the fragment of Gertrude’s voice when she was telling Gerry she didn’t think it was possible to reverse an apocalypse.)

- I love that Jon&Basira are on good enough terms to share their shitty sense of humour with each other!! ;w;

(MAG197) BASIRA: Feeling better now, are we? Without those horrible sunny skies and fresh winds? ARCHIVIST: Yes, the colossal web stretching down into an endless pit is a significant improvement. BASIRA: [CHUCKLING] Don’t pretend like you’re joking.

Compared to season 4, it doesn’t sound mean-spirited anymore coming from Basira…

I also like that, same as them helping each other out on the lake in MAG195, we could hear that it was a mutual exchange – Basira ensuring that Jon wouldn’t fall into the hole by grounding him when he was getting too fascinated by it, Jon warning her about the threads. Jon was even counting on Basira to be an element of surprise, so it really felt like he indeed valued her as an ally ;_;

- I wonder if Jon looked into Martin’s head for that one, or if it’s how Martin looked like from the outside?

(MAG197) BASIRA: I’m guessing she’s waiting at the centre? ARCHIVIST: Naturally. [STATIC RISES] They both are. Martin is… he’s okay. He’s… scared, but also… frustrated.

Jon had promised to not look as long as he wasn’t in physical danger (which was precisely the case here) so…

I like how Jon pointed out that Martin was “scared”: from his exchange with Annabelle, he sounded mostly pissed, annoyed, frustrated indeed rather than afraid; he knows how to hide it!

- Jon’s fascination with the pit…

(MAG195) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s… I could look at it, but it… it was… it was like a… a hole. You know that feeling you get when you look down from a, a great height, like you’re being… pulled into the abyss? BASIRA: Kind of? ARCHIVIST: [GETTING LOST IN THOUGHT] Well, it was… was like that. Normally… I can see it, see the… webs, and feel the power of The Spider emanating from it, but… as I would look, i–i… it’s like… my mind…. follows the paths of The Web… [STATIC RISES] the strands going down and… out… [CATCHING SELF] I–it’s… [STATIC FADES] quite disorientating…!

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: I know she has something to tell me and it… it’s about… the hole below us, her thoughts are… all down there, and… [TAPE SQUEAL] [STATIC INCREASES] And the threads are so closely woven, I–I follow them out and… in, and down, and through the strands of web and twisting tape, and down, and down, and down into the chasm into the emptiness that stretches– BASIRA: Woah! ARCHIVIST: –out– BASIRA: Woah! ARCHIVIST: –below– BASIRA: Careful! ARCHIVIST: Oh! [ARCHIVIST LOSES BALANCE BUT BASIRA STEADIES HIM] [STATIC FADES] BASIRA: Careful. ARCHIVIST: [DEEP BREATHS] … Thanks. There’s a–, sorry, there’s a s–sort of… pull to it. BASIRA: [SIGH] ARCHIVIST: Every time I get a glimpse, it, it draws me in…

… might be caused by Beholding? What is below is a complete mystery and, as Annabelle pointed out later, it probably led to many worlds (so far) untouched by the Fears: Jon’s appel du vide might as well be Beholding attracted to what is not (yet) under its dominion.

- I’m curious about the fact that Jon wasn’t able to categorically say what was the tapes’ deal:

(MAG197) BASIRA: … So. The tapes. They’re from The Web, then? ARCHIVIST: Looks like it. BASIRA: Were they always? Right from the start? ARCHIVIST: As far as I can tell. I–it’s hard to s–… If I look too closely at them, my own voice, things get… recursive. Hard to follow. BASIRA: I always assumed they were with The Eye. The whole “watching, listening, waiting” thing, you know? ARCHIVIST: No… They were always using them to spin their own web. Out of my words. BASIRA: Mine too. ARCHIVIST: True.

* On the one hand, his difficulty to tell what they are does explain why he couldn’t say they were Web until now. On the other hand… there is still that nagging doubt that there could also be something else, due to Jon’s inability to confirm even now. What would happen if Jon looked at a tape not holding his voice at all, like one with Martin’s?

* Basira’s assumption had been shot down starting with MAG114 (when Jon had pointed out to Tim that he didn’t think the tapes were from Beholding) and once again reminded by Martin in MAG170 (when Martin had a moment of clarity in the Lonely house, having him point out that Beholding had “won” and so didn’t need tapes to see what was happening to them)… but I like that Basira had her own ideas about them until now, linking them to the Institute’s motto.

* I like Basira’s reminder that the tapes didn’t only record Jon’s voice, but that she was also “used” in the same way…

- I love the contrast with Jon&Basira now compared to, say, their expedition in Svalbard in season 4:

(MAG197) BASIRA: Different question, then. How do we play this one? ARCHIVIST: You get Martin to safety, then I deal with Annabelle Cane. BASIRA: Right. … I think we should hear her out first. ARCHIVIST: Excuse me? BASIRA: Before you “deal with her”, we should try to get some answers. All of this, taking Martin… she wants to talk.

Back then, Basira was the one with the gun; now, Jon is quite clearly the powerhouse… but also grounded by Basira, who remained level-headed and tried to think about why Annabelle had done things in that way, what she wanted. And at the same time: Jon had reasons to be pissed, wary and distrustful – in his own perspective, Annabelle could have talked when they were at Upton House, and welcoming him in front of Hill Top Road with Mr. Spider’s tape was clearly a low blow, already colouring this encounter with a certain dynamic (the underlying idea that The Web had touched him as a kid, was inviting him in the house to devour him, and could violate Jon’s privacy whenever it wanted).

- Jon’s fear of The Web showed once again…

(MAG150) ARCHIVIST: Melanie, could you… could you describe your therapist for me? MELANIE: [CHUCKLING] What? You think I wouldn’t notice if she had cobwebs down her face? ARCHIVIST: … No? MELANIE: [DEEP INHALE] That’s it, isn’t it? [EXHALE] You… you really think I’m so stupid I wouldn’t have noticed if my therapist was some kind of monster! ARCHIVIST: I just… It was a worry. […] It’s just… The Web can be subtle, you understand? MELANIE: And? For all you know, its plan is to paralyse you with indecision…! ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MELANIE: Leaving you… sitting here, terrified that… everything you do is somehow all part of its Grand Plan… And who do you think that fear is gonna feed? ARCHIVIST: Yes, well. [INHALE] You are… not the first, to make that point.

(MAG167) MARTIN: You said you could control it now. ARCHIVIST: I can, I–I just… It… [INHALE] You’re absolutely right. I will refrain from knowing anything about you. […] Did you… feel like she was… influencing your mind at all? MARTIN: I don’t think so, but I mean… who knows? ARCHIVIST: I could. MARTIN: But look. She didn’t control me into asking you not to look into my head, if that’s what you’re thinking. That’s all me. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I’m not… looking for a l–loophole. MARTIN: Well, good! ‘cause this isn’t one. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Methinks the Spider doth protest too much…!

(MAG172) ARCHIVIST: I was going to suggest that… I could… maybe… “know”. I could look. Just a quick peek, to, to see if it was just curiosity, or… something else. … Well? MARTIN: I don’t… If you look, and I was… “influenced”, then how can I trust anything else? How can I believe any of my thoughts and feelings are really mine? ARCHIVIST: U–uh, well… I–I–I’ll still be here to check, I–I’m not leaving you. MARTIN: Sure, but you’d be looking through the details of everything that ever crosses my mind? I don’t want that! Y–you know I don’t want that. ARCHIVIST: … I know. [SILENCE] … Don’t do this to yourself, Martin. This is what it wants, the, the paranoia. [SIGH] Trust me, I, I know. MARTIN: … Fair.

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: She’s had plenty of chances. She didn’t need to kidnap him. BASIRA: Sure, but maybe she… What? What’s with the look? ARCHIVIST: How are you feeling, Basira? BASIRA: [SHARPLY] Do you want to look inside my head? See if it’s full of spiders? ARCHIVIST: I… No. I’m… sorry, I–I trust you. BASIRA: How are you feeling? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Yes, all right, you don’t need to make a point. BASIRA: Yes I do. You’re too close to this, and I need to make sure you aren’t going to do anything dumb. Situation like this, we can’t make rash assumptions. Right? ARCHIVIST: … Right.

I like (in a heart-breaking way) how Jon’s tendency to suspect that people might be affected by The Web has been so prevalent, and shows how deeply his childhood encounter affected him. When people behave in a way he didn’t expect or for reasons he cannot immediately understand, he’s very quick to blame The Web – it’s not coming out of nowhere, since there were statements about The Web pulling strings and getting people to do things they didn’t want to do… but it also goes in the way of Jon’s decision to trust people. I like that Basira immediately understood what Jon suspected and set things straight in that regard; Martin might be Jon’s “reason”, but other people have been really good at grounding him lately, too.

- BASIRA SEES MARTIN AS A FRIEND ;w; It used to be Martin clinging to the idea…

(MAG175) MARTIN: I–I know what you meant! I can still be keen to see our friends! ARCHIVIST: … True. MARTIN: Besides, we can help them now.

(MAG176) MARTIN: And the fact that we’re hunting our friend, in a domain of The Hunt isn’t getting to you at all? Not even a little bit? [TRILL OF A BIRD] Hm? […] BASIRA: What’s something only Martin would know? MARTIN: … What?! I don’t know! BASIRA: Fine! Then… [COCKED GUN] MARTIN: No–no–no–no–no–no, wait–wait, uh, I, God, I don’t know, we’ve never hung out much! I’ve no idea what you know about me!

… and having to admit that no, they didn’t know each other much. But now, look at Basira being concerned and protective of him ;w;

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] But if she hurts Martin, all bets are off. BASIRA: If she hurts Martin, I’ll be right there with you. […] Martin, are you okay? MARTIN: [MUFFLED MMHMM] BASIRA: You know, we’d probably be more willing to listen if you hadn’t kidnapped our friend?

Martin got friends………

- I wasn’t able to parse which segments there were, but I could clearly hear Jon’s and Martin’s voices playing in the background tapes when we switched to Annabelle!

I did need the transcript’s indication that Martin was tied to the chair to realise that… indeed, we hadn’t heard him get up last episode. It had creaked plenty when he had sat last episode, it would have creaked if he had had the time to get up. Congrats Martin, you spent an episode and a half sitting, this time around!

- Martin likes Jon’s voice!!

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: I thought you liked his voice? MARTIN: I do when it’s his voice. I’ve never liked the statements. It always felt… Yeah. ANNABELLE: Well… you can trust me when I say you’ll be hearing his real voice very soon.

That’s an adorable little detail <3

- I love how Martin was such a bitch with Annabelle, at the same time very honest (pointing out that his situation didn’t make it easy to get relaxed, that he was afraid about the trap set for Jon, that he had already been told about dream-logic elements, that he was second-guessing what Annabelle wanted out of this) and blowing up in annoyance.

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: [CHUCKLE] On edge, are we? MARTIN: Of course, I am! You’ve stuck me in a weird interdimensional web, and threatened to fill me with spiders! ANNABELLE: No…! I said I had “considered” filling you with spiders. MARTIN: Yeah, whatever, the point is, there was a time when it was very much your go-to option! And this one time I chose to almost trust you, you’ve immediately turned around and used me as bait!

I loved how his voice SQUEAKED with that “spiders”. Resent and remember.

Also, games, in that apocalypse?

(MGA180) MARTIN: … I–I’ll start. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with… T– ARCHIVIST: Tombs. MARTIN: … Cheater. ARCHIVIST: [INDIGNANT] I did not! MARTIN: … Your turn. [BAG JOSTLING] ARCHIVIST: Fine. I spy, with my little eye… Literally everything. [MARTIN LAUGHS] [THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS] [A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS]

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: We could play a game? MARTIN: Uhhh… [SIGH] ANNABELLE: Twenty questions? Animal, vegetable or mineral? MARTIN: [SIGH] Animal. Does it have eight legs? Yes. Is it a spider? Yes. Oh, look, I win.

Never quite working.

- I loved Annabelle’s back-and-forth regarding Martin’s potential for The Web: at first saying that he could have been a good fit for it, then that no, he’s too impatient, then that ah, maybe his talent for interpreting the vibrations meant that he had something in him. It’s everything and its contrary, and it allows her to… always be right.

(But it cracks me up so much that the argument for anti-Web Martin basically came down to Martin being too ranty and impatient. I love Martin.)

- Sob about the set-up because:

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: … You don’t need to worry about Jon. MARTIN: You’re literally luring him into a trap. This trap. This one right here! [MARTIN MOTIONS AND TWANGS THE WEB, SETTING OFF STRONG REVERBERATIONS] ANNABELLE: Please don’t do that. Technically… yes. This is a trap. But the only one in actual danger is going to be me. If he chooses to kill me, I can’t stop him. Not even here. And you’re not bait, you’re just… an invitation.

Yeah, sure, an “invitation” when you’ve put the Mr. Spider tape right near the house to welcome Jon is an absolutely neutral and mundane “invitation”. It’s not flexing or trying to traumatise your guest even before he entered the house.

- Annabelle, PLEASE.

(MAG197) MARTIN: Oh. Wonderful. I can’t wait to attend the Annabelle Cane Show. ANNABELLE: Huh! You know, I did consider it once. MARTIN: Excuse me? ANNABELLE: A TV show. Reaching out into the homes of millions, giving the more vulnerable ones a subtle nudge towards terror. [TAPE SQUEALS] Probably something for children. … It never went anywhere, of course. These things rarely do. MARTIN: I’m, I’m sorry, what are you talking about? ANNABELLE: You’re the one that didn’t want to wait in silence.

* Things that are absolutely horrifying regarding The Web: the way it often targeted children. Mr. Spider was a picture book and got into Jon’s hands when he was eight (and given how Jon initially thought that the book was “insulting” his intelligence… it might have preyed upon even younger children if left unchecked). Annabelle had described her own Web encounter as a kid. Ray was taking care of children and preparing them for his god.

* It also tied nicely with another leitmotiv with The Web: the fact that it is invested in performances and artistic displays (a movie in MAG110, Neil Lagorio’s own original cuts and his last wish of dancing in MAG136, Francis’s theatre play in MAG172) – Annabelle was all about this, making various references to the fact that she was staging the whole scene.

* That “These things rarely do” reminds me of what she had mentioned last episode, that “You can’t be precious about a single strand”: how many discarded plans and ideas have there been to ensure that she would be right and/or that she would get her pieces where and when she needed? It’s not that The Web feels infallible – it’s that it seems to multiply its efforts to make sure that at least one would work out.

- I got the impression that Martin feeling that Jon and Basira were coming happened at the same time as Basira brushing the strands early on, hence Jon’s comment over it:

(MAG197) [BASIRA BRUSHES AGAINST A STRAND WHICH THRUMS AND ECHOES, AND THE CADENCE OF BUZZING SOUNDS CHANGE AS TAPE SQUEALS WITH THE REVERBERATIONS] BASIRA: Sorry…! ARCHIVIST: … It’s okay. She already knew I was here, I just… I hoped we might be able to sneak you in. […] MARTIN: W–, yeah, well– [CHITTERING, BUZZING AND TAPE SQUEALS CHANGE CADENCE] Wait… Wait, hang on… is that him? ANNABELLE: Yes! I guess you’re better with The Web than we thought. MARTIN: And… Wait, ha–, no, uh… Is that… Basira? He–he’s got Basira with him! ANNABELLE: Yes. I did wonder if that would be the case. Interesting. And unfortunate for me. That’s two heads we’ll need to keep cool. My odds aren’t looking good.

So it gave us a nice perspective on who was talking about what when!

I’m surprised that Annabelle indeed only discovered it at that moment – meaning that if Basira hadn’t touched the threads, she wouldn’t have known she was there… although she had been recorded more than once since Jon had left London. Web is not omniscient, uh.

- Annabelle’s taste for theatrics was hilarious, and Martin sarcastically following her request by trying out postures of the Main Love Interest In Distress And Held Hostage was incredible. Martin, PLEASE.

(I wonder if she spat in his mouth, to gag him? Where did that thread come from.)

- It still amuses me how dry Jon can sound in front of avatars, while he’s way more emotional (soft, annoyed, amused, desperate sometimes) in front of Martin! He really adapts his presence to the people in front of him, in this new world.

- Love how Basira pointed out that Jon shouldn’t do anything rash… and then he immediately went for a smiting attempt when he saw that Martin was positioned in a dangerous and precarious situation.

- Jon’s new “Fuck” means that he’s now The Biggest Sayer Of Fuck in the series!

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] [SOFTLY BUT WITH FEELING] … Fuck.

(MAG158) DAISY: Oh, shit! ARCHIVIST: You gotta be fucking kidding m–

(MAG166) ARCHIVIST: Yes! Ashamed of the fact that I… destroyed the world and have been rewarded for it; the fact that… I can walk safe through all this horror I’ve created like a fucking tourist, destroying whoever I please; the fact that I… enjoyed it, and… the fact that there are… so many others, that I still want to revenge myself on! [EXHALE]

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: “Free will,” she says, as we stand in the middle of her fucking web!

Martin (MAG154), Melanie (MAG131) and the Inspector (MAG185) are at 1; Trevor was at 2 (MAG176); Tim was at 3 (MAG065, MAG080, MAG104); Basira is at 3 (MAG148, MAG177, MAG178)… and now Jon takes the lead with four ;w; Who would have thought, when listening to episode 1!

(If taking “shit” into account: Martin explodes the counter because of his litanies in MAG163 and MAG179.)

- Oh Martin…

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: He came of his own free will. MARTIN: [MUFFLED POINT OF CONTENTION] ARCHIVIST: “Free will,” she says, as we stand in the middle of her fucking web! ANNABELLE: [LAUGH] A fair point! But that’s a debate for another time. I simply mean I did not bring him here through force, threat or false pretence. I made an offer, and he agreed. ARCHIVIST: Martin, is this true? [TAPE SQUEALS] MARTIN: [MUFFLED ATTEMPTED EXPLANATION, FOLLOWED BY MUFFLED SIGH AND MUFFLED AGREEMENT] BASIRA: Told you. ARCHIVIST: We’ll talk about it later. Once you’re safe.

I love how we could indeed tell his emotions at the moment, at first objecting, then slowly having to concede.

There is still a tiny possibility that Annabelle still pulled a string and made Martin keener to follow her, but I don’t feel like that would be necessary – the point was that he was out of options, that Annabelle had dangled the fact that she had one, and offered to give it while simultaneously threatening to not ever share it if Martin didn’t immediately come with her (as it was explained last episode). Of course, in retrospect, it sounds like Annabelle/The Web needs them more than they need it… but the point was that Martin was lacking options, that Jon was seriously thinking about replacing Jonah as Beholding’s pupil the last time they had talked (which would have meant: for Martin, still being stuck as a Watcher, so still planning to die rather than feeding on people’s suffering), and that Martin is “as bad” as Jon when it comes to self-sacrifice, as Also!Martin had pointed out. I like that Basira had been able to guess that Martin had probably made the choice to follow Annabelle, while Jon… apparently stayed stuck to his perception of The Web as a big manipulator which compels and forces people to do things all the time, without taking detours or subtler approaches.

- Regarding Annabelle’s “lesson” on the Fears, I like how it began on familiar territories, since it roughly followed Gertrude’s own perception of the Fears:

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: … Fine. Speak your piece. Tell us about your… “way out”. ANNABELLE: As you wish. … The Great Fears, do you believe they think the way we do? ARCHIVIST: They don’t “think” at all. They just are. ANNABELLE: Almost true. In truth, it depends on the Fear. [TAPE SQUEALS] Some exist in an eternal moment, some make use of memory to reflect and corrupt, but for most, time is simply another thing for them to play with. To consider the future, to plan, is not something they’re capable of. ARCHIVIST: But not The Web? ANNABELLE: No. Not the Mother-of-Puppets, the Spinner-of-Schemes. BASIRA: Hang on. What about the rituals? Those were plans. ARCHIVIST: No. [INHALE] They were… desires, filtered and interpreted by people and the thinking creatures that they spawned. ANNABELLE: You are well informed, aren’t you? Exactly this.

(MAG145) ARTHUR: You never had to second-guess a god. ‘Cause that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? We feel Its joy and Its… anger; It warps us, and changes us, and feeds on us, though not in the ways we expect. The one thing It never does is just… tell us what to do. It seeds us with this… aching, impossible desire to change the world, to bring It to us. Then, It leaves us to guess and bicker and fight over how the hell you can actually do it. … If it’s possible. Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do. GERTRUDE: I’m not actually convinced they “think” at all. ARTHUR: You might be right. But Agnes did.

The idea that avatars had no clear idea about what they were doing had been confirmed by Simon in MAG151, so that wasn’t new. It did colour all of Annabelle’s speech, however, since she argued that The Web was different due to its own way of functioning and she was judge and party in that regard – isn’t she precisely projecting what she thinks The Web is to give it intention, when it’s perfectly possible that “The Web’s plan” might have been mostly inherited through its agents throughout history?

- Confirmation that Oliver might have said the truth in MAG168 about the fact that The End’s domains ultimately had to deliver a genuine death (or, well: confirmation that Jon was convinced that it was saying the truth). And Basira hadn’t been there back then, hence why she needed a bit more information:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “When Danika Gelsthorpe reaches the end of her Corpse Root, she will die. This new world of Fear reviles death as a release, but the Coming End cannot exist without its reality. It is not a being of dangled promises and shifting torments; the certainty of death waits for all who travel the Corpse Roots, and that certainty… will be delivered on, without hesitation or consideration of any other factors. […] The others may take what actions they wish; they may plot and plan and tear themselves apart in an attempt to separate from the fate that they know they cannot escape; but they will fail. The currents of perception and reality may twist in whatever shapes they want; but none of them can ever render things truly eternal. […] I am too much of my patron now and my feelings cannot help but reflect the shadows of… anticipation that lurk within the grave. The End does not fear its own cessation, for it is the certainty and promise of all life, however strange, that it will one day finish, and that includes its own stark existence. […] All – things – end, and every step you take, whatever direction you may choose… only brings you closer to it.”

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: But only two of them could truly conceive of such. Terminus, The End, knows that in such a world they will ultimately consume themselves. And it desires that finality. ARCHIVIST: [REALISING] And The Web understands it as well. That eventually a successful ritual would doom them all. Leave them trapped and starving in a used-up world with no-one to feed on. BASIRA: Hang on, what? This is news to me. ARCHIVIST: We passed a death domain, of The End. The victims there do actually die, meaning even though it would take… I don’t know how long, eventually The End will claim everyone and everything. It’s inevitable.

Damnit, it means that Peter had kiiiiind of been right in season 4 when he had explained to Martin that The Web and The End didn’t appear interested in trying to achieve their rituals:

(MAG134) PETER: There are two Powers that, to my knowledge, have never attempted to fully manifest, never had followers set them up for a ritual: Mother-of-Puppets, and Terminus. The Web, and The End. The Web, I’ve never really been sure about: if I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is, playing everyone against each other, and so on. The End, on the other hand… The End doesn’t really need one: it knows that it gets everything eventually, so why bother. The End manifesting would not be a new world of terror; it would be a lifeless world. Devoid of everything. MARTIN: … Including fear.

The End was indeed fine with anything, while The Web indeed preferred the world as is – because it had an inkling that rituals would lead to the Fears’ own annihilation. Given how Annabelle pointed out how the escape route had been worked on for so long, I wonder if it had really understood that a successful ritual needed to bring all the Fears into the world a long time ago… or if not at all, and it was, until then, planning an escape in case any of the Fears were to succeed on its own.

- Web!Jonah, Web!Jonah, Web!Jonah.

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: And knowing this, knowing for centuries you would eventually be trapped, doomed to starvation, what would you do? [LONG CONSIDERED PAUSE] ARCHIVIST: … Plan an escape. ANNABELLE: Just so. […] ARCHIVIST: So The Web, it wants to spread? To escape into new realities? ANNABELLE: Yes. But not alone. Any attempt to separate the Fears is ultimately doomed, as you well know.

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “Why does a man seek to destroy the world? It’s a simple enough answer: for immortality, and power. Uninspired, perhaps, but – my God! The discovery, not simply of the dark and horrible reality of the world in which you live, but that you would quite willingly doom that world and confine the billions in it to an eternity of terror and suffering, all to ensure your own happiness; to place yourself beyond pain, and death, and fear. […] I am to be a king of a ruined world, and I shall never die. […] Beyond that, I was getting older, and mortality began to weigh more heavily on my mind. How much in this world is done because we fear death, the last and greatest terror?”

The way Annabelle presented it, The Web shared the same logic as Jonah and took the same horrible decision about it: desiring self-preservation, fearing their own end, fearing that others would doom them… and instead of taking active measures to ensure that no doom would happen, they chose to cause it themselves to be in control of it. Jonah could have gone on spending many more centuries body-hopping once he understood that other rituals would never work anyway, but he chose to work on this ritual thinking it would grant him domination and control over the result; and likewise, The Web could have worked to ensure no Jonah-like person would cause the big ritual… but chose instead to actively help him, to cause the apocalypse, thus dooming itself if Jon doesn’t help to make them hop into another world to contaminate it. Same fear of death, same thirst for control, same selfish thought process.

As mentioned above: given how Annabelle might have selected her information, I wonder if The Web had known for a long while that individual rituals wouldn’t work, or if it had discovered that fairly recently, alongside Jonah. It’s possible that the escape route had initially been planned for The Web itself and solely itself in case one of the other Fears succeeded, then The Web discovered that the Dread Powers couldn’t be separated and slightly changed its plan by accepting that all the Fears would need to be yeeted into the passage together?

- I can’t believe we now can answer “What does the Spider want?!”.

It does explain why The Web seemed to ensure Jon’s survival and support Jonah’s plan (Jonah even acknowledged the latter in his letter), and why Annabelle still wanted something out of Jon&Martin although the apocalypse had already happened. It also answered Jon’s own question from the trailer about the tape recorder:

(Season 5 trailer) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … What? What do you want? … The world is…! It’s over. You’ve won. What can you possibly still need to hear?

His question had even been followed by a “knock-knock” joke. It really felt like a Mr. Spider reference.

Regarding the tapes: it was indeed right to link them to The Web! I remember that pre-season 4, upon listening to the series for the first time, I was convinced that they were Web, but I had begun to doubt in season 4 because of a potential slight nuance: The Web was using the tapes, it didn’t necessarily mean that it was the thing listening behind the tape recorder. What I did not expect, and am delighted about, is that The Web required the tapes to exist as a hook for its plans:

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation. We marked him young, guided his path as best we could. And then, we took his voice. ARCHIVIST: No… ANNABELLE: His, and those he walked with. We inscribed them on shining strands of word and meaning, and used them to weave a web which cast itself out through the gate and beyond our universe. So that when the Fears heard that voice, and came in their terrible glory, they might then travel out along it. [TAPE SQUEALS] Or be dragged. BASIRA: Is she talking about the tapes? ARCHIVIST: Yes. […] Do both at the same time, and… for just a moment, all that power rushes through their only remaining connection with reality: the tapes. ANNABELLE: And they would be swept along by it, dragged out of our realities, and into new ones…

And now I wonder about the reasons why the statements didn’t work on Jon’s computer in (and before) season 1, leading him to use the tape recorders. It had been pointed out in MAG065 that tapes were technically digital too, that the difference between a computer and a tape recorder wasn’t a matter of analogue vs. digital, so why did the statements resist computer recording? With the new information: it might have been simply that The Web was making Jon’s computer crash to push him to find another solution for his recordings – Jon indeed ended up relying on the tape recorder (found covered in cobwebs; spotted by Tim first according to the TMA liveshow, and then found back by Sasha according to MAG162’s tape).

Did The Web mostly require a story for their plan? The statements contain bits of Fears, some of Jon&co’s encounters were supernatural, but not everything that was caught on tapes was dealing with fear – we’ve had very mundane exchanges and conversations that did not contain anything supernatural. It, of course, asks the question of whether an audience in-universe is listening to the tapes that have been reordered chronologically: have the tapes already been sent into another world, with or without the Fears coming with them? The current labels on episodes are presented as “Case ########–xx”, a sign that time is not as reliable but that there is still a chronological and logical progression to follow. I wonder if the last episode will go back to having a date-based file number like episodes used to have (MAG160’s, “Case #0181810”, being the last one).

- The problem with Archivists really is their voices, uh? Gertrude and Jon both needed to read the statements aloud to feed Beholding, and the Black Forest tomb had the “For The Silence” coin. I’m a bit curious about whether the Fears would truly follow the tapes because they contain Jon’s voice… if Jon, with that original voice, is staying behind? Wouldn’t he need to go with the tapes, or to be deprived of his voice, for that plan to work?

- Annabelle’s offer was a bit more complex than redirecting their full apocalypse to another world, which I feared, instead presenting it as another world being subjected to this one’s previous and less intense fate… but I’m extremely glad that Jon immediately pointed out that it would likely mean a complete repeat of what their own world had experienced, apocalypse included eventually:

(MAG197) BASIRA: What are you saying? ARCHIVIST: … We can pass them our apocalypse. MARTIN: [MUFFLED DISCOMFITED REALISATION] ANNABELLE: Nothing so extreme. In these new worlds, they would exist as they used to in ours, lurking just beyond the threshold. ARCHIVIST: Until someone is stupid enough to release them there as well. ANNABELLE: Perhaps. Even the Mother cannot see the future. Only try to shape it. ARCHIVIST: And so they spread through realities like a disease. ANNABELLE: Perhaps. ARCHIVIST: … I won’t do it.

Jon even kept using the verb “spread” (“So The Web, it wants to spread?”, “for the Fears to spread into these new worlds”, “And so they spread through realities like a disease”) which really highlighted what it was: not a trade-off, not an equivalent exchange, but really allowing the Fears to possibly impact many other worlds to save theirs, causing way more victims in the process.

I like how it also put another perspective on the Mr. Spider tape welcoming Jon at the end of MAG195, ending with the “MR. SPIDER WANTS MORE”: in the same way, The Web is precisely trying to get more than what it used to have (from affecting one world to potentially hurting many more).

- I am curious about what would individually happen to avatars with that plan:

(MAG197) BASIRA: What happens to you if they escape? What happens to us? We’ve all been touched by them. ANNABELLE: I would either travel with them, or I would die. I do not know which. My life is only sustained by The Web. Most would simply lose whatever power they have been gifted. Jon would lose much of himself, the parts of him that are The Eye. But he would survive. And perhaps, more importantly, he would remain who he believes himself to be.

Would Simon turn to dust due to his old age? Would Arthur become inanimate wax? Would Oliver die (since he already died once)? Or would they be simply left in their current body? Annabelle is indeed a special case since it was pointed out many times that her head never healed from the injury during the experiments (MAG069) and is stitched with cobwebs – it’s possible that her “life is only sustained by The Web” in a strictly literal life-support manner, unrelated to her avatar status.

… I’m concerned about many caveats regarding Jon: Annabelle, what is your definition of “survive”? And what does Jon “believe himself to be” at this point? Jon had pointed out that he was intrinsically tied to Beholding by now, and that he doubted that Beholding leaving this world would mean good things for him:

(MAG191) MARTIN: Jon. If… When we defeat The Eye, the Fears… What happens to you? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: Nothing good. I think it depends on what actually happens. If we figure out a way to defeat them, banish them somehow, kick them out of our reality and back to where they came from, I might… survive? I think I’d stay more or less like this; w–weaker, but fundamentally… still an avatar in a world where the Fears are… once again lurking on the edges. MARTIN: … But I assume that’s the best case scenario? ARCHIVIST: Depends on your point of view, I guess. In the long term all we’d have done is… bought some more time. … If, however, we… find a way to destroy or, uh… eliminate the Powers… I’m not going to be okay. There’s… too much of me that’s part of The Eye now. I don’t… know what would be left of me without it. Maybe I just… die. Maybe I survive, but I–I lose… something. My identity? My mind? My… memories? I don’t know.

Which is making me suspicious of what Annabelle is saying, since she seems to go in the exact same direction as what Jon thought might happen to him in the “best” case scenario of the Fears disappearing but him not dying right away.

- Alright, it does clear up what I didn’t understand in Annabelle’s previous plan regarding Jon&Martin’s relationship, and the reason why she discarded it!

(MAG196) MARTIN: Okay, let’s try a different question. What was your plan? ANNABELLE: I was going to snatch you away. Lure you both into this web, and then take you. Drive him to despair, so that when you returned to him, bulging and talking in a thousand tiny voices, it would drive him to a final push. MARTIN: … And now? ANNABELLE: [SIGH] Your bond is too complicated. I couldn’t drive that kind of rift between you now. I’ve considered every angle, examined every cause and effect, and have finally come to the conclusion that I… [SIGH] I need to tell you the truth. To explain things.

(MAG197) BASIRA: What happens to you if they escape? What happens to us? We’ve all been touched by them. ANNABELLE: I would either travel with them, or I would die. I do not know which. My life is only sustained by The Web. Most would simply lose whatever power they have been gifted.

She might have initially planned to pressure Jon to go along with her plan by spider-ing Martin, since it would have meant saving him once the Powers would have left (instead of it being a permanent process). However, their “bond is too complicated” for that plan now because they talked and made a promise about not dooming the world in exchange for the other’s safety:

(MAG191) ARCHIVIST: Martin, when the time comes, I need you to promise me that you won’t try to stop me. MARTIN: … I promise. I love you, Jon. ARCHIVIST: [FOND HUFF] I love you too. MARTIN: But I’m not going to doom the world over it. ARCHIVIST: … Thank you. MARTIN: [INHALE] And you have to promise me that you’re going to do everything in your power to live. That you’re not going to… sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity, just because you feel guilty about what happened. ARCHIVIST: [BREATH] … I promise.

(… Well. Martin had promised to not doom the world over Jon. Jon himself had not done the same.)

It might be what caused Annabelle to change plans: before, she might have thought that Jon would have done anything to save Martin, including throwing the Fears into other worlds without any hesitation; but since that conversation, she might have been fearing that Jon would have refused to doom other worlds for the sake of Martin’s well-being.

- Although Jon apparently immediately interpreted it as Basira being likely to go Annabelle’s way…

(MAG197) BASIRA: … How would we do it? ARCHIVIST: Basira! BASIRA: We need to know, Jon.

… she really felt, to me, like she was trying to get all the information they needed to be able to manoeuvre with it all afterwards. Same as at the beginning of the episode, she gave me the impression that she was trying to stay in control while ensuring Martin wouldn’t get hurt (not being too antagonistic towards Annabelle, and getting her to talk), but it didn’t sound like she was approving.

- OKAY for Annabelle’s plan:

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: It’s very simple. Destroy the Archives, and cut out The Eye’s pupil. BASIRA: [SARCASTIC] Oh, is that all? ANNABELLE: Simultaneously. MARTIN: [MUFFLED DESPONDENCY] ARCHIVIST: I see. Destroy the Panopticon, and you release its power. Kill Jonah, and you cut the connection between the Fears and the world. Do both at the same time, and… for just a moment, all that power rushes through their only remaining connection with reality: the tapes. ANNABELLE: And they would be swept along by it, dragged out of our realities, and into new ones… BASIRA: And how exactly are we supposed to destroy the Archives?

* It kind of explains why she waited for them to reach London first before making them come to Hill Top Road: they needed to see for themselves that the tunnels had been mostly insulated from the apocalypse, and what state Jonah was in. (Plus, making it sink in that no, “killing Jonah” wouldn’t solve anything, so waiting for them to be a bit more desperate for another option).

* I’m… worried about the fact that Annabelle specifically stated that they needed to destroy “the Archives” but that Jon translated it into “the Panopticon”. Is it the same thing by now? We haven’t seen the Archives when we were in London – what did the statements and documents turn into?

* … And relatedly: Jonah had introduced the idea that Jon was “the Archive”. Is it really about destroying the Panopticon, or is it about destroying Jon…

(* It also explained why Annabelle had found “reassuring” that Martin was worried about victims on their way to Hill Top Road, since her plan relied on them agreeing to throw other worlds under the bus to save these people from this world. If they didn’t care much about random victims all around here… then they would be even less likely to accept her solution.)

- It reminds me that we still haven’t been told what is Jon’s domain and what is Annabelle’s domain. Annabelle’s could be Hill Top Road, but it was never stated! As for Jon, his only indication was that Martin&him had been walking “towards it” during their first journey towards London, so it could be the Panopticon itself… but we don’t know for sure either. What happens, when you destroy someone’s domain? (We have the case of Helen-the-Distortion, who was her own domain in a way… and it seems to have destroyed it entirely in her case.)

- HECK YEAH for the gas main not being done with /o/

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: [SHARPLY] We’re wasting time. Do you still have the Ruskin book? LEITNER: I do. Though I don’t relish the thought of using it. Makes it rather hard to breathe, like your chest– GERTRUDE: You know– LEITNER: –is being… GERTRUDE: –the gas main, little way out in the tunnel? LEITNER: I do. GERTRUDE: I need you to move it. LEITNER: I, hum… That’s… I mean, that’s not just earth, there’s pipework and all sorts of– GERTRUDE: Find a way. I need it to be directly under the Institute, or… at least, closer. LEITNER: I’m more likely to rupture it and fill the place with gas. GERTRUDE: Hm! That would also be acceptable. LEITNER: Hm… I’ll do what I can. When do you need it? [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] GERTRUDE: If my guess is right, the Church’s ritual should be collapsing at any time now, so… immediately. LEITNER: And if you’re wrong? GERTRUDE: Then a bit of gas will be the least of our worries. LEITNER: Right… What are you going to do? GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak.

(MAG068) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. I’m in the tunnels. I was exploring and I got lost. I haven’t gone down any of the stairs and I– I think I’m still under the Institute. There were a couple of spiders, so I changed routes and found, I think it’s a gas main. Must be for the whole building.

(MAG197) BASIRA: And how exactly are we supposed to destroy the Archives? ANNABELLE: Many years ago, a draughtsman made an unfortunate and egregious error on certain city planning documents. As a result, an unusually large and dangerous gas main just happened to be constructed directly below the building you knew as the Magnus Institute, in a place where it would be protected by the tunnels of Robert Smirke, unchanged by the world’s reformation. [TAPE SQUEALS] You need only ignite it. ARCHIVIST: “Ignite it”? ANNABELLE: Indeed! And it just so happens that the perfect tool was once delivered to you as a token of appreciation. Though you really do need to learn to keep better care of it. Somehow, it always seems to slip your mind, doesn’t it? ARCHIVIST: What…? BASIRA: Jon, it’s that stupid lighter of yours.

I had been surprised that it had been narratively brought back at the beginning of the season clarifying why it was there – Gertrude had asked Leitner to bring it closer to the Institute, which is why Jon had seen it in season 2 (… while fleeing because of spiders… in the episode right before the one he heard of Annabelle Cane for the first time…), and it was still hanging out there.

Annabelle never confirmed whether or not she had been the one who had sent tapes alongside the package containing Jonah’s statement, but it really feels like she was trying to prepare Jon to the idea of burning the Archive down, since all the tapes (and the beginning of the statement Jonah used to cover his) had mentioned fire in some way.

(MAG160) MARTIN: Still, she did manage to talk them out of burning the whole place to the ground? Oh, ah! Actually, that reminds me. Hum… [PAPER RUSTLES] ARCHIVIST: Ah! These, these are the… statements. MARTIN: Uh, yes. Basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the Archives weren’t a crime scene. ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: And she wasn’t sure which ones you’d read already, so she–she just said she’d send a bunch. [CLATTERING SOUNDS] ARCHIVIST: There’s… tapes in here, as well. D… did she say anything about tapes? MARTIN: She… didn’t mention it? But… I–I didn’t check it until after the call. ARCHIVIST: Mm. MARTIN: I assume it’s her attempt at a… a–a “varied diet”? Eating your greens, you know? ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLE] Probably! I’m sure it will work fine.

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: –yes, thank you, I do hope you’re not planning to light those candles…! TIM: … Oh, goodness! [SHAKES A BOX OF MATCHES] A source of ignition? In the Archives? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] SASHA: [CHUCKLES] TIM: Uh oh! ARCHIVIST: Tim. TIM: Oh? Woops! [A MATCH IS LIT] Sorry; my hand slipped. And again. [CRACKLE OF A BIRTHDAY CANDLE WICK] And again. And… a couple more times, here – I’m so clumsy today; that is a lot of fire! ARCHIVIST: I’m really not comfortable with– SASHA: So blow them out, then. ARCHIVIST: Oh. [FIRE CRACKLING] … Right, yeah– ELIAS: And make a wish.

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– GERTRUDE: Of course, Gerard…! I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive, where I keep all my darkest secrets…!

(MAG162) TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!”

(Adding to Rosa Meyer’s attempt to burn the building in MAG060, Gertrude likely destroying the Archives under Alexandria by blowing up a gas main in MAG053…)

So: whatever Annabelle said, Jon could lend it some credence since he had seen the gas main and knows where it is; he knows why it’s so close to the Institute; he knows it used to be part of Gertrude’s plan to take down Elias/Jonah in March 2015. Whether Jon will pursue that plan or not, we know what it meant narratively, same with the lighter.

It’s also really interesting that what Annabelle offered used to be exactly Gertrude’s plan:

(MAG080) LEITNER: I believe it was Elias. ARCHIVIST: What? Why? LEITNER: I assume he discovered we were planning to destroy the Archives. ARCHIVIST: Gertrude was going to destroy the Archives?

… and it’s exactly when Elias had strike and killed her. Did a spider whisper to his ear that it was way too soon to blow up the building?

(WHICH WOULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS APOCALYPSE, BY GETTING RID OF JONAH, WHO HAD JUST UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.)

- The lighter reveal was just comedy gold, and I’m so glad that the reccurring thing with “Jon isn’t able to pay attention to the lighter and tends (/is compelled) to change the subject when it’s brought up” led to this.

(MAG037) TIM: Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You? TIM: Ah no. No. ARCHIVIST: Well… show it to the others, see what they think.

(MAG039) SASHA: So why hasn’t it gone off? ELIAS: Because there isn’t an actual fire. SASHA: Right, right. Can we set it off manually? I think Jon’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he? Anyway, it shouldn’t be necessary.

(MAG079) TIM: But he’s going to do something, and it’s going to be bad. And I don’t mean like “sneaking a cigarette” bad. Like properly bad.

(MAG111) GERARD: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then? ARCHIVIST: What? Oh! Er, n–no. I–I, I never really, uh… I never really thought of it. I–I’m Jon. I’m with the Magnus Institute. … I–I’m the Archivist.

(MAG136) DAISY: [SCOFF] She’s… Web. Spider’s sneaky like that. [PAUSE] Like that lighter you’re always using. Where’d you get that? ARCHIVIST: Mm. [STATIC RISES] Good point. We should keep our eyes open. [STATIC FADES] Anyway, how’s Basira doing?

(MAG162) MARTIN: You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? […] We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just– ARCHIVIST: We can’t fight the world, Martin.

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: “Ignite it”? ANNABELLE: Indeed! And it just so happens that the perfect tool was once delivered to you as a token of appreciation. Though you really do need to learn to keep better care of it. Somehow, it always seems to slip your mind, doesn’t it? ARCHIVIST: What…? BASIRA: Jon, it’s that stupid lighter of yours. ARCHIVIST: [INDIGNANT] My what? I… [STATIC RISES] [PULLS THE GOLD LIGHTER WITH EMBOSSED SPIDERWEB FROM POCKET AND FLICKS IT OPEN] Oh? … Oh. [STATIC FADES]

Sasha remembered it, Tim had commented on Jon trying to discreetly smoke (though that might have been a figure of speech?), Gerry had first assumed that Jon was with the Spider because of it, Daisy had directly asked about the lighter and Jon had redirected the conversation elsewhere, Martin had pointed out at the beginning of this season that Jon still had that lighter with him… and now, Basira revealed that she had noticed it too. The static in MAG136 had made it clear that it wasn’t Jon’s fault, that he was likely supernaturally compelled to not think too long about the lighter, but I love that silly moment, that “My WHAT?! =<= … oh” was one of Jon’s best moments. ever.

- I really wonder whether Annabelle’s reaction was sincere when Jon threatened to let the lighter fall into the hole:

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: I see. So… [FLICKS LIGHTER SHUT] If I were to throw it away– ANNABELLE: [GASP] ARCHIVIST: –into your little pit… MARTIN: [MUFFLED WORRY] ANNABELLE: [CAREFULLY] I would advise against that. ARCHIVIST: Oh, would you? BASIRA: Jon, she still has Martin. MARTIN: [MUFFLED REMINDER] [TENSE STAND-OFF] ARCHIVIST: Fine! … Fine.

* Jon going for the throat, taunting and threatening and relishing the power he thinks he has is terrifying but also incredibly hot. That condescension…! (And it kind of made a twisted parallel with Annabelle’s discussion with Martin earlier, when she defended that she had once thought about filling him with spiders but discarded that plan. It’s not the same power dynamic, but it still shows that… now, Jon knows how to handle the avatar-game better, and to revel in the power he can have over other terrible beings.)

* … What would have happened exactly? It can’t be just that it would have meant that Jon would have lost his way of igniting the gas main – that could be easily replaced by anything, getting a spark wouldn’t be hard and they have some supplies. What would have happened, if the Web artefact had been thrown into the pit…? Would it have deprived The Web of some of its power, would it have contaminated another world…? Why was Annabelle suddenly that tense over it…?

- Another JonMartin hug ;w;

(MAG159) MARTIN: [DISTANT, VOICE ECHOING] I see… [INHALE] I see you, Jon. [BREATHLESS CHUCKLE] [PRESENT, ECHO FADES] I see you…! ARCHIVIST: Oh, Martin… [FABRIC RUSTLES] MARTIN: [FRANTIC BREATHING] I w–I was on my own…! I was all on my own… ARCHIVIST: Not anymore. Come on – let’s go home…

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: You know I’m here for you. ARCHIVIST: [LONG SIGH] … Yes. Yes I do. [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] MARTIN: All right. All right.

(MAG170) ARCHIVIST: Oh, Martin! Thank god, I, I was… I–I thought you were behind me. [FABRIC RUSTLES] MARTIN: I thought you’d left me behind…! Gone on without me.

(MAG177) ARCHIVIST: … I’m sorry. [SILENCE] MARTIN: [SIGH] It’s okay. I understand. [BAG JOSTLING] [FABRIC RUSTLES] BASIRA: Urgh… [SILENCE] You done?

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: If you’re sure. MARTIN: … I’m sure I love you. [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: I love you too. [FABRIC RUSTLES] Let’s go.

(MAG187) ARCHIVIST: [GROGGY] Oh. Martin, good! [BAG JOSTLING] [FABRIC RUSTLES] MARTIN: Wh–, wh–wh–what happened? Th–th–there was the hotel and then…

(MAG191) ARCHIVIST: Sorry. Not something I can help, I’m afraid…! MARTIN: No, I, I know, I know. I’m sorry, it’s okay. [SIGH] [FABRIC RUSTLES] ARCHIVIST: … Bad dream? […] Maybe I survive, but I–I lose… something. My identity? My mind? My… memories? I don’t know. [FABRIC RUSTLES AS THEY EMBRACE] MARTIN: [LONG EXHALE]

(MAG197) MARTIN: [COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING] Jon…! ARCHIVIST: Martin! [FABRIC RUSTLES] MARTIN: … Oh god, I’m sorry, I– ARCHIVIST: It’s fine. MARTIN: I didn’t realise that– ARCHIVIST: We’ll talk later.

(MAG159 was confirmed by Alex, and MAG187 wasn’t marked in the transcript but I definitely hear it!)

;_; Every time, I wonder if it will be the last one… but I’m kind of expecting a big, biiig dramatic hug for the last one so… not there yet.

- I come out of this episode still not knowing exactly what to think about Annabelle – it sounded like her last appearance (“Very well. We shall not see each other again, Archivist. But I eagerly await your decision.”), though it doesn’t mean we wouldn’t hear about her.

My feeling from this episode is that she’s mostly… a sort of vessel of The Web, a puppet herself (her use of “we” sounded like she was the spokeswoman of a greater conscience), and I don’t know what is left of who-she-used-to-be – contrarily to other avatars, she didn’t seem to cast much value in her own self-preservation, since she did point out multiple times that it wouldn’t matter if she got killed in the process of The Web’s plan as long as she delivered its message to Jon first. I’m crossing fingers for something more about Annabelle herself because… it was already the case with The Distortion using Helen as a face and the tragedy of Jon not having been able to know her (plus, when it comes to monsters taking women’s faces: The Hive had invaded Jane Prentiss, the Not!Them postured as Sasha, even Nikola was technically a being older than this particular mannequin), while we got male antagonists who were their own despicable selves like Peter or Elias. On the other hand, Annabelle’s theme seems to be a play with the fears and thoughts people project onto her, the things they expect from her, the role she is forced to play because of these expectations:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Now, I believe the tradition is to tell you the story of my life; the sinister path that led me inevitably to the sorry state in which I now find myself. Well, let it never be said I do not dance the steps I am assigned.”

(MAG196) MARTIN: I don’t know, like… something a bit more dramatic, I guess. ANNABELLE: We’ll see what we can do. [FOOTSTEPS, THEN CREAKING AS ANNABELLE OPENS THE DOOR] [DRAMATICALLY] Step into my parlour…! […] Let’s make the setting a little more… appropriate, shall we? MARTIN: Hey, just… ah, hah, p–put the camera down, okay? ANNABELLE: You said you wanted something more… “dramatic”. Right?

(MAG197) MARTIN: Oh. Wonderful. I can’t wait to attend the Annabelle Cane Show. ANNABELLE: Huh! You know, I did consider it once. MARTIN: Excuse me? ANNABELLE: A TV show. Reaching out into the homes of millions, giving the more vulnerable ones a subtle nudge towards terror. [TAPE SQUEALS] Probably something for children. … It never went anywhere, of course. These things rarely do. […] Now settle back. Try to look… intentional. MARTIN: What does that mean? ANNABELLE: They’re going to expect a suitably elaborate scene when they arrive, a monstrous tableau. I’d hate to disappoint them…! MARTIN: Rrright… [MARTIN GINGERLY TRIES TO ADJUST HIS POSITION] So, w–were you thinking something like this, or–? ANNABELLE: [SIGH] [ANNABELLE RELEASES A BURST OF WEBBING, GAGGING MARTIN, AND STICKING HIM FIRMLY TO THE CHAIR] MARTIN: [MUFFLED INDIGNANCY] ANNABELLE: My apologies for the inconvenience but appearances are everything, Martin. Now, if you’ll excuse me? I need to change into something more suitable. [BONE CRACKS AND FLESH TEARS AS ANNABELLE REVEALS THIS WASN’T EVEN HER FINAL FORM] [ANNABELLE’S VOICE IS DEEPER FROM HERE ON OUT AND TAPE RECORDERS CAN NO LONGER BE HEARD] [TWISTED STATIC CRACKLE] ANNABELLE: It is so very important to prime your audience. […] I’ve played my part to its completion. You get to decide how I exit the stage.

The entirety of her interaction with Jon was framed as a performance – the performance he expected out of her. Jon was expecting the worse out of Annabelle? He was welcomed with a tape reminding him of his childhood trauma, putting him in the position of the next “guest” who would be devoured by the Spider when he would enter its home. Jon was wary of Annabelle as being dangerous and harming Martin? Annabelle turned into a monster and threatened to harm Martin. Martin might have had some doubts and fears about turning Web, to the point of refusing Jon would look into his head to know what was happening with him in MAG172? Annabelle kept going back and forth about whether Martin was suitable for it or not, with any detail going in a direction and then the other (Martin calculating his behaviour with others making him a likely candidate, but his impatience showing that he wasn’t fitted for it, but his perception of The Web proving that he had what it took…). Annabelle even pointed out to Martin that he was prompt to make a judgement and distrust her before she had done anything to him (“Why? Because of what I say, or because of the assumptions you make about my motives?”): she kept feeding them the lines they were expecting from her. It can simply fit with The Web’s whole thing about making you second-guess and playing on your indecisions, on your uncertainties and doubts; it could also be that there is something more underneath…?

(Especially since… well, technically, Annabelle gave them a lot of information and left them free to think about it. If she were trying to sabotage The Web from the inside, that would probably be the best way to go about it: following the plan like a puppet, and ensuring it goes badly at the same time.)

- That’s FUN, we got the same annihilation as MAG160 for Jon by putting him as responsible of the situation, while at the same time taking the reverse approach regarding being “chosen”:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “It does tickle me, that in this world of… would-be occult dynasties and ageless monsters, the “Chosen One” is… simply that: someone I chose! It’s not in your blood, or your soul, or your… destiny. It’s just in your own, rotten luck. […] You are prepared. You are ready. You are marked. The power of The Ceaseless Watcher flows through you, and the time of our victory is here. Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here – in the world that we have made.”

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: So The Web, it wants to spread? To escape into new realities? ANNABELLE: Yes. But not alone. Any attempt to separate the Fears is ultimately doomed, as you well know. ARCHIVIST: But how? ANNABELLE: We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation. We marked him young, guided his path as best we could. And then, we took his voice. […] ARCHIVIST: … I won’t do it. ANNABELLE: Possibly. You’ve seen your other options. […] BASIRA: … What about her? ARCHIVIST: [HARSH] Good question. As far as I can tell, there’s now nothing to stop me killing you. And throwing this lighter away forever. ANNABELLE: Nothing, except your own indecision. […] We shall not see each other again, Archivist. But I eagerly await your decision.

There are so many little differences between the ways they pictured Jon’s role! Both presented him at the centre of their plans, as a necessary piece: Jonah gloated about the way he had picked and shaped Jon’s fate, and his whole letter was about retroactively depriving Jon of his own agency (shaping the fantasies that Jonah had always been in control and had led Jon where he wanted to ultimately be); and surprisingly, The Web took another approach, no less hurtful – framing the apocalypse as the result of a sort of uniqueness which meant that, since Jon was a child, he was likely to cause the apocalypse, and presenting the outcome and destiny of their world… as his, leaving him the possibility to “decide”.

And as much as Jonah blew the idea that he had always been in control out of proportions (the idea to send Jared after Jon and then going pikachuface when Jared attacked the Archives without waiting…), he still felt more honest than what Annabelle said about Jon! I’m especially interested in this bit:

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation. We marked him young, guided his path as best we could. And then, we took his voice.

Because… what bullshit, what with giving the impression that there would have been anything special about an eight-year-old boy making him the “most likely” to cause the apocalypse! Implying that it was even Jon’s choice by failing to remind that Jonah had been responsible for it! It’s easy to describe Jon as the person who was meant to Open The Door now that it indeed happened, and I’m absolutely ready to picture that there were actually thousands of potential people who could have done it in the world and it “simply” happened with Jon. After all, Annabelle had pointed out last episode that “People get so caught up on how intricate they are, how perfectly constructed. They never consider how flexible they can be. The sort of storm they need to weather. You can’t be precious about a single strand.”: how many discarded plans had there been in the last century or so? I also love and hate how it paralleled The Web’s use of tapes: individually, each segment might have been true… but not necessarily in the order Annabelle suggested:

“We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation.” => Web indeed did support Jonah’s plans, but when did it decide that Jon would be the perfect candidate?

“We marked him young” => Jonah pointed out that Jon already had The Web mark and that it contributed in making him pick Jon as the next Archivist for his project.

“guided his path as best we could” => The Web tipped Jon off here and there during the series (a spider led to the season 1 climax, strengthening Jon’s chances of survival since the worms weren’t fully ready yet; there were cobwebs on Jon’s first tape recorder; The Web sent Oliver to help Jon to “make his choice” and wake up at the start of season 4; a tape covered in cobwebs sent Jon on a quest for an anchor, it was specifically a Flesh statement so likely trying to direct him towards Jared…)

“And then, we took his voice.” => Pushing Jon in the direction of the tape recorder to record the “difficult” statements that didn’t work on computers.

Did The Web send Jon to the Institute, or did Jon’s curiosity push him to wanting to understand what had happened with the book when he was a child? Who knows! But it’s all about framing these various elements in a certain order to make it feel like there is a coherent, merciless narrative that had used Jon like a puppet all along, while potentially keeping the most important part under silence: that The Web needed someone to bring the apocalypse… but that it mostly needed someone who would hate said apocalypse and would try to reverse it. That was the part The Web needed above all, given what Annabelle had just explained.

- Maybe it’s a useless wish at this point (only three episodes left) but Annabelle pushing the idea that Jon was “most likely” to bring the apocalypse screams “destiny as a concept” screams “Agnes” to me ;; Someone involved with The Web, whose voice was hidden and who was only described through the eyes of men and/or people romantically interested in her, who was aware of the expectations and the “destiny” announced for her and who might have decided to go another way…

- Jon said they would talk:

(MAG197) ARCHIVIST: We’ll talk about it later. Once you’re safe. MARTIN: [MUFFLED DOWNBEAT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT] […] Oh god, I’m sorry, I– ARCHIVIST: It’s fine. MARTIN: I didn’t realise that– ARCHIVIST: We’ll talk later. […] MARTIN: So… what do we do now? ARCHIVIST: Let’s get out of here. After that… we’ll see.

And indeed, they ought to. Two things that have been established and that I could see coming back:

* Martin had forbidden Jon to look into his head, to be able to respect some privacy (MAG167) and because he thought he would second-guess everything if it turned out The Web had been manipulating him (MAG172). Basira just reminded Jon that he needed to trust them to have their own opinions, that having an opposite stance to his didn’t mean they were manipulated… but I could also see Martin asking Jon to look inside him again to have the absolute certainty that no, Martin wasn’t manipulated. (Or maybe was, even partially, being nudged in a direction he partially wanted anyway.)

* Martin still hasn’t shared that he planned to ask Jon to smite him if they couldn’t find any way to turn the world back. As things are, sadly, it would feel extremely pressuring (since the only way to not go in that direction… would then be to follow Annabelle’s plan to get rid of the Fears).

- Given everything that was thrown in his face with this episode? I want Jon to have a breakdown and cry :w

- There are two gigantic lines of small print coming with Annabelle’s plan:

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: It’s very simple. Destroy the Archives, and cut out The Eye’s pupil. BASIRA: [SARCASTIC] Oh, is that all? […] And how exactly are we supposed to destroy the Archives? ANNABELLE: Many years ago, a draughtsman made an unfortunate and egregious error on certain city planning documents. As a result, an unusually large and dangerous gas main just happened to be constructed directly below the building you knew as the Magnus Institute, in a place where it would be protected by the tunnels of Robert Smirke, unchanged by the world’s reformation. [TAPE SQUEALS] You need only ignite it.

* Destroying the Panopticon through the tunnels means that the survivors would lose their only mean of protection. Melanie had pointed out that her and Georgie’s own protection was neither total nor long-lasting for others:

(MAG190) MELANIE: I wasn’t exactly going to leave her there so… we grabbed her and legged it. And… that’s when we discovered that we can keep others hidden as well. MARTIN: Hm. MELANIE: Not completely, and, and, not for long, but… it’s enough to get them here to the tunnels.

So they wouldn’t be able to protect the other survivors on the outside, and Annabelle just destroyed the camera (which could have been an alternative way to protect them for a while). Going with that plan would mean evacuating them and them consenting to it, and… would they agree? On the one hand, they could firmly oppose that plan (nobody would want to be put back in the domains’ hells); on the other hand, they might agree if it seems like Melanie&Georgie believe that this option has a chance to succeed (and out of belief that this is the way to achieve Melanie’s “premonition” of the apocalypse stopping)… and at the same time, Melanie&Georgie would probably refuse because of that, since it would be abusing the survivors’ trust and security over such a big lie, when they have no way to know if it would work.

* … Igniting a gas main through a lighter of all things means that the person taking care of the ignition is absolutely sure to be engulfed into the explosion, since it requires the flame to get into contact with the gas – unless they still have some materials from the Gertrude era or from the Exploding The Unknowing plans back from season 3 down in the tunnel, like a fuse?

Jon had pointed out that he should be able to harm Jonah:

(MAG193) ARCHIVIST: You were right. MARTIN: About what? ARCHIVIST: His body is vulnerable. A–at least to me. MARTIN: … What’s the catch? ARCHIVIST: I could kill his body, sever the link, break The Eye’s power, and… Jonah Magnus would die. MARTIN: Okay, that sounds good but…? ARCHIVIST: But… that wouldn’t actually harm The Eye itself. And with him gone it would… it would choose a suitable replacement. MARTIN: Oh. ARCHIVIST: If we kill Jonah Magnus… I take his place.

Which means it would probably be his role to severe the link between Jonah and Beholding, which means someone else would have to take care of the ignition… aaaaaaaand we have a certain someone who already proved himself regarding fire, and who recently stated that he actually had a fear of it.

(MAG117) MARTIN: This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that’s cool!

(MAG118) [CLICK–] MARTIN: [EXHALE] Are you listening? [DEEP INHALE] … Good. [PAPER RUSTLE] Case, uh… 0071304. Statement of… Ivo Lensik. [EXHALE] [LIGHTER FLICKED OPEN] All right…! [LIGHTER BEING TURNED ON] [SMALL GASP] [SOUND OF PAPER BURNING] [DEEP EXHALE] [PAPER RUSTLE] “Statement ends”, I guess…! Hum… [PAPER RUSTLE] “Harold Silvana”! Number 0020406. Will probably do! [PAPER RUSTLE] [LIGHTER BEING TURNED ON] [SOUND OF PAPER BURNING] All right, then! 0140207, Dylan Anderson. [PAPER RUSTLE] Yeah? … Okay~ [LIGHTER BEING TURNED ON] [EXHALE] There’s plenty more on the pile~ [SOUND OF PAPER BURNING]

(MAG169) MARTIN: Will the fire feel hot to me? ARCHIVIST: Yes. MARTIN: Will it cause me lots of pain, if I touch it? ARCHIVIST: Yes, though not as much as– MARTIN: [SHAKILY BUT STRONG] Will it burn me alive, and kill me dead? ARCHIVIST: … No. It can’t do us any permanent harm; once we’re out, we’ll be fine. MARTIN: You are aware that intense pain can do you loads of harm, even if there’s no any physical injury! […] I know! I know, okay, I just… [SOMETHING SHATTERS] Look, I j–, I just don’t want to get burned, all right? It’s, it’s like my least favourite pain ever. ARCHIVIST: Is that… a joke? MARTIN: No, no! Okay? I… I legitimately hate burns, all right, they’re–they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just, it– It–it just makes me sick, I–I hate it. Hate it!

… It screams “Martin igniting the gas main” a bit ;; (I wonder if he will confirm whether or not Jon had lent the lighter to him in MAG118, or if that one was another, more mundane lighter?)

* Additionally: being at the top of the tower cutting the link between Jonah and Beholding precisely when the (under)ground level of that same building is being exploded with the goal of destroying the Panopticon/the Archives (since both words were used)… doesn’t bode well for whoever is at the top of that tower when it happens.

- Overall, I’m curious about what Jon and the others will do, concretely right now and after taking a decision, but I’m also not expecting them to follow Annabelle’s plan and presented binary at all.

Regarding what will happen immediately after the end of this episode: as much as Georgie’s last words (when she sent Jon&Martin on their way in MAG192) might have worked as a last appearance, Melanie’s (when she invited Jon to think about where Martin could have gone in MAG194) would be more surprising. Although there are only three episodes left, holy heck, I’m expecting Basira&Jon&Martin to regroup with Melanie&Georgie&the survivors in the tunnels to discuss what they’ve learned and their options? It will feel a bit weird to go back immediately to the tunnels but, at the same time, the framing device granted by the tapes has just been pointed out again – if the tape recorders don’t feel like the journey back to the tower (even with Jon pouring out a domain statement) is worth their while, if Jon&Basira&Martin don’t talk at all during that journey or don’t say anything that they find relevant, then they won’t get recorded at all until they’re back and ready to talk about things. (There is still a tiny possibility that they do talk on the way back and that Jon gives a statement… but since there are only three episodes left, I think we would all collectively lose it if one of them was used up for a domain statement.)

I’m curious about their individual stance on the whole thing. Jon was quick to point out that it would likely mean a rinse and repeat in another world of what they experienced – the Fears lurking at the border until they would be invoked in their fullest, dooming that world (these other worlds?) in turn. But on a personal level… they all know the amount of misery the Fears were able to cause even before the apocalypse: Jon was traumatised as a kid; Sasha’s whole life and existence were stolen; Tim had lost his brother because of the Fears; Georgie had lost her precious friend Alex because of them; Melanie had to gouge her eyes out to escape Beholding; Martin almost got swallowed entirely by The Lonely; and even the survivors: they were trapped in the domains, they know how bad it was, they know what inflicting the Fears on others would mean… but it would also be understandable for all of them to want to survive and save their own world. But what about the weight of responsibility? All of them in this world were subjected to the apocalypse by the decision of one person, Jonah (and the support he received from The Web), who manipulated Jon into opening the door: now redirecting the Fears on other people would mean making an active choice, being responsible for their misery. But what about the intrinsic bias in the fact that the people who would be able to make that choice and to act on it are precisely people who are not currently subjected to the domains? Choosing to sacrifice their world and the billions of people suffering for the sake of other worlds would be awful considering they’re not getting tortured alongside them at the moment. It’s all one big complicated trolley problem.

Thematically, I have trouble picturing them following Annabelle’s plan: Jon immediately refused, they have no guarantee that it would work exactly as she announced (and that there aren’t a few more caveats), and it would mean validating The Web’s plan, what it had worked on for so long, and which was based on the same reasoning as Jonah – the idea that someone would irremediably cause the apocalypse, and that it was better to stay in control of when and how it would happen to prepare its own escape rather than to try to prevent it. But at the same time, it might be a bit too hopeful to think that the group and the survivors would find and manoeuvre around a third way that would indeed nerf the Fears? ;; Technically, Annabelle’s instructions contained new information that could still be useful:

* The Fears are currently anchored through (at least) three elements: Beholding’s pupil (currently Jonah); the Panostitute/the Archives, vulnerable through Smirke’s tunnels; and the tapes, containing records of Fears. Annabelle didn’t mention Jon at all as a lynchpin, which is quite surprising given how the whole world had been able to identify him as someone special (as Simon had put it, “You might be the closest thing the universe has ever had to an important person”).

* The blob of Fears contains its own contradictions: some part of it wants to survive and is able to scheme for that survival (The Web), some part of it craves its own annihilation (The End) – technically, it inherently contains its own potential death.

(- I’m not sure what to expect about the survivors, whether they’ll be down with any plan or vehemently oppose or sabotage some of it. I know that personally, I would prefer them to just be… people who’ve been hurt, who are not nefarious, and who might even be able to provide out-of-the-box ideas? I fear that if they were the ones to “ruin” any plan, it would be an easy way to absolve our main characters of having made the final mistakes dooming everything, by redirecting the blame on random people, and give the idea that Humanity Sucks Actually, so it’s really not something that appeals to me.

I wonder if Rosie might join them in the tunnels? She would be another of the collaterals if the Panopticon were to get destroyed, since she’s trapped in that one…)

- I am really curious about how characters will now behave with the tape recorders, and whether we have learned everything there is to know about them. I’m onboard with the idea that The Web needed fragments of Fears woven onto the tapes, and had worked for the tapes to get created in the first place, but I’m still having some interrogations regarding what Annabelle said and how she acted around them.

* Characters had mentioned multiple times that something was “listening” through the tape recorders, or that they felt “watched” when it was on. However, Annabelle demonstrated that she doesn’t have an immediate knowledge of things as they were getting recorded:

(MAG197) MARTIN: And… Wait, ha–, no, uh… Is that… Basira? He–he’s got Basira with him! ANNABELLE: Yes. I did wonder if that would be the case. Interesting. And unfortunate for me. That’s two heads we’ll need to keep cool. My odds aren’t looking good.

If that knowledge had been instantaneous, Annabelle would have known for a while now that Basira was with Jon, since he picked her up in the lake in MAG195, on tape. Annabelle had taunted Martin about what was listening at the end of MAG196 but never clearly answered about that – her plan relies on the Fears hearing the voices and following… but are they the thing that had been listening through the tape recorders since the beginning? Could be that The Web itself is listening though the tape recorders? If so, that would also mean that Annabelle is not directly connected to it.

* The thing about the lighter having allowed The Web and the tapes to follow Jon… only partially works, technically.

(MAG197) ANNABELLE: A little anchor of our power, so that we, and our tapes, may follow wherever you go.

Season 2’s trailer had announced the tape recorder turning on by themselves, which is something we first witnessed in MAG080: the official transcript had two [CLICK] at the beginning of the episode (Jon taking Leitner’s statement); at some point, Jon, shaken, left the office to have a smoke (possibly compelled by the lighter), leaving Leitner alone; there was another [CLICK] when Elias entered the room and the “texture” of the tape spooling changed; Elias murdered Leitner, left the office; Jon came back and discovered the body and the recording stopped. What might have happened is that Jon was recording the event, but that another recorder had been sneakily double-recording everything by itself; when Elias entered the office, he turned off one of the recorders, unaware that there was another still running and catching everything on tape. Said tape was still in the Institute afterwards – Melanie retrieved it from Elias’s desk in MAG118, and it was the piece of evidence that forced Section 31 to arrest Elias in MAG120 (since the Inspector pointed out that it contains the recording of a murder – if it had been Gertrude’s, the secret of Elias-being-Jonah would have been known at that point).

It is true that the tapes had turned on and off around Jon after that point during season 3… but they did the same at the Institute when Jon was away, including when he was in America. In fact, the first times the tapes had begun acting up were around the Assistants (Tim didn’t want to get recorded in MAG082, and he&Daisy commented that it had turned back on; and it turned back on again at the end of the episode when Martin&Tim were discussing); by MAG114, Jon even thought that Tim was navigating through the tunnels because he wanted to avoid the tape recorders in the Archives. Chronologically, there are even a few cases where tape recorders might have been acting up pre-Jon: it’s unclear whether Gerry had accidentally turned it on in MAG162, and the recording of Gertrude’s murder in MAG158 had started when she was already busy pouring gasoline around.

I could accept that at that point, The Web had basically made its nest in the Archives (since Gertrude had her own connections with The Web through Hill Top Road and Emma had been working there for a while), but the point remains that the lighter had not been the (only?) thing allowing the tape recorders to act up. Actually, it’s even surprising that Annabelle kept talking about the “tapes” but not the “tape recorders”, and that neither she nor Jon ever clearly stated that it was The Web controlling or listening through the tape recorders themselves:

(MAG196) MARTIN: Wait… Wait. The tapes… ANNABELLE: A fine material to spin a web with, don’t you think? MARTIN: What? All this time, through all of this… it, it was just you spying on us? ANNABELLE: Oh, Martin! You have no idea who’s listening, do you?

(MAG197) BASIRA: … So. The tapes. They’re from The Web, then? ARCHIVIST: Looks like it. BASIRA: Were they always? Right from the start? ARCHIVIST: As far as I can tell. I–it’s hard to s–… If I look too closely at them, my own voice, things get… recursive. Hard to follow. BASIRA: I always assumed they were with The Eye. The whole “watching, listening, waiting” thing, you know? ARCHIVIST: No… They were always using them to spin their own web. Out of my words. […] MARTIN: I’d hardly call this silence. ANNABELLE: I’d stop them if I could…! […] We found the one we believed most likely to bring about their manifestation. We marked him young, guided his path as best we could. And then, we took his voice. ARCHIVIST: No… ANNABELLE: His, and those he walked with. We inscribed them on shining strands of word and meaning, and used them to weave a web which cast itself out through the gate and beyond our universe. So that when the Fears heard that voice, and came in their terrible glory, they might then travel out along it. [TAPE SQUEALS] Or be dragged. BASIRA: Is she talking about the tapes? ARCHIVIST: Yes.

So: was it always The Web controlling the recorders, is it still The Web? Or did something else happen, either from the start, either growing over the power that was being stored, and which led to the tape recorders also catching mundane conversations in the Archives…?

Regardless: characters might now associate tapes with The Web spying on them, which means that we could get a few more games of whack-a-tape-recorder or characters deliberately refraining from pouring their hearts out when they’re in the vicinity, or being unreliable on tape on purpose.

Only 3 episodes to go ;_; In previous seasons, at this point: Jon had just interrogated Martin about the lighter delivery (ha.), Jon had listened to Gertrude’s tape about the Not!Them, the Archive team had recorded their testaments and Jon had burned Gerry’s page with a lighter (ha.), Jon had read Adelard’s last statement to Gertrude explaining his incoming death and was panicking over Peter&Martin’s plan being set into motion, leading to Georgie&Melanie refusing to help and Helen gloating about it.

MAG198’s title is the WORST and doesn’t inspire me anything else than: shit going down soon TTwwTT

[jbuffyangel]

Something To Live For: Arrow 1x10 Review (Burned)

I’m back! 

There’s a significant time difference between my 1x09 review and this review. No, I did not take a six year long holiday break. It just became too difficult to complete the Season 1 reviews the summer prior to Season 4. So, I decided to complete Season 1 and Season 2 reviews once Arrow was off air.

This means I have not watched 1x10-1x23 in eight years. I nearly forgot everything. Is L*urel still in this show?

She sure is.

“Burned” is the first real snoozer of Season 1, which kind of sets up the tradition of episode 10-15 slumps Arrow suffered nearly every season.  This has less to do with Arrow and more to do with it being a twenty three episode series. There’s gonna be some filler.

This episode still holds significant meaning to me though because it contains the SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR speech. This is my favorite John Diggle speech, which is why I named my blog after it. It is also the first time Arrow declares their mission statement.

Let’s dig in...

Oliver and Diggle

The bad guy plot is the worst part of “Burned,” so let’s just cut to the chase. There was a terrible fire in Starling City years ago. The fire chief recalled his unit but one of his men, Garfield Lynns, insisted the building could be saved. The chief refused to send in any more men and as a result Lynns died. Except, this is Arrow and nobody stays dead. Lynns is alive, ticked, insane and burning firefighters, which leads to Joanna’s brother (a firefighter) getting killed.

Cool? Cool. Moving on.

Oliver is having difficulty coping with the fact the Dark Archer kicked his ass all the way back to the stone age. It was a somewhat embarrassing loss and Oliver’s body wasn’t the only thing bruised. We are gifted a very lovely training sequences of a half naked and very sweaty Oliver Queen to show he is recovered, so his hesitancy isn’t physical. It is mental.

Source: @olivergifs​

Oliver is having a crisis of confidence and is avoiding suiting up like the plague.

Diggle: This guy, the other archer, he got in your head. He took something from you … he took whatever’s in your heart that lets you jump off buildings and take down bad guys.

Oliver worked for every skill he has. It was not gifted by a bolt of lightning. He does not come from an alien planet. Oliver is a weapon honed over time, which includes his superpower. 

Oliver Queen does not fear dying. 

That’s the “whatever” in his heart which gives him the confidence to jump off buildings. This superpower was honed after five years of fighting for survival. Oliver almost died so many times he’s built some kind of emotional immunity to it. It doesn’t freak him out like it would the rest of us.

The darker side of this superpower is Oliver doesn’t care if he lives or dies. Season 1 Oliver Queen is very fatalistic. He’s not suicidal, but he’s accepted death is the price he may have to pay in order to complete his mission. More importantly, he is drowning in guilt and believes death is the ending he deserves.

There’s rigidity in everything about Oliver – from his beliefs to even the way he moves. His posture is rod iron straight and there’s very little movement in his upper body and arms. It’s a physical manifestation of his PTSD. It’s like he’s encased in a brick wall, a tomb of suffering, which makes it difficult to breathe or move. It’s like the act of living is physically painful.

The problem is - Oliver came home and it is having an unexpected emotional impacted on him. He’s been laser focused on this mission, but bit by bit, the feelings he’s long since buried are resurfacing.  Moira, Thea, Tommy, Diggle, Laurel (AND FELICITY) are chipping away at this brick wall. Oliver didn’t adopt this machine like persona because he doesn’t feel anything. It’s because he feels so much, which means even the small holes in this wall are having a profound impact on him.

This all leads to the greatest John Diggle speech in history! Yes, I say that knowing full well Diggle has spectacular speeches throughout the series, but this will always be my favorite because it’s such a universal theme. 

We all must have something that makes life worth living.  This “something” is not limited to romantic love. It can be family, or work or a cause – basically whatever makes you get out of bed every day. It doesn’t have to be just one thing either. In fact, I hope you find many things/people to live for because that means you are living a full and connected life. By that same token, if you don’t have something to live for then you’re not really living. You just exist.

Or in Oliver’s case - survive. He’s known nothing but survival for the last five years. I think he absolutely cares for Yao Fei, Shado and Slade, but that’s exactly why Oliver shut down. He did care for people and it led to nothing but heartache, betrayal and loss. So, Oliver decided to be done with all that and has worked very hard to keep his loved ones at a distance ever since returning home.

He’s been extremely successful at it in many ways because Oliver refuses to share who he really is with anyone outside of John Diggle. So, that’s why it had to be John Diggle to tell him that it was okay to feel again.

Oliver: I’ve been close to death on the island more times than I can remember and I never feared it. Because I had nothing to lose. But when that archer almost killed me, when I stared death in the face then, I thought about all the people I’ve let into my life since I’ve been back – my family, Laurel, Tommy. And that made me afraid. Afraid of what would happen to those people if they lost me. Again. And for the first time in so long I had something to lose.

Oliver may not fear death, but he does fear what his death will mean to those who love him. Like I said earlier - Oliver is not suicidal. If that was true he wouldn’t have fought so hard to survive the island, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to live. He’s far from it. But this is the first time in a long time Oliver cared whether or not he died. And that scares him.  

Diggle: Maybe you’ve got it backwards Oliver. You think the people you’ve let in have taken your edge. I think it gives you one. Maybe a stronger one even. You can stare down death with something to live for or not. SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR is better.

That’s endgame folks. Oliver’s story is about a man learning to live again. He will collect more and more people/things that he cares about as he walks this road, which means there is more to lose. Losing his life is far preferable than losing someone he loves again.  Oliver can tolerate a great deal of physical pain. It’s the emotional pain that scares the crap out of him. This is why he fights tooth and nail to keep emotions at a distance. It just hurts too much.

Opening our heart to others often means opening our hearts to pain, but that’s not the only side of love. It brings happiness and contentment too. You take the good with the bad. Diggle is trying to open Oliver’s heart to the good.

Is Oliver alive? Or is he just breathing? The answers to those questions make all the difference in the world. A difference Diggle knows will make Oliver an unbeatable weapon.

Lynns: I'm not afraid to die

Oliver: I know. You're afraid to live.

COULD IT BE A PARALLEL?

Methinks yes. It’s interesting “Burned” revolves around fire. Fire is where Oliver’s story began. Lian Yu was about purification, but it was also a rebirth. 

A rebirth we see expanding as Oliver opens up his heart. A fire is lit from within our hero and it’s growing beyond penance, justice and retribution to hope, passion and enlightenment. Oliver Queen is finding reasons to live again. And it will make all the difference for his survival.

L*urel L*nce

If you sense I have less patience with L*urel’s character in Seasons 1 and Season 2 than I did in Season 3 and Season 4 then you’d be right. My opinions on this character changed radically so I’m coming into Season 1 and Season 2 reviews with a Season 8 perspective on L*urel.

Tommy wants a drawer. That’s all. A drawer. Tommy Merlyn is a simple man. Doesn’t take a lot to make him happy. He even wrote a list explaining all the reasons he deserves and needs a drawer. We never see the list, but I’d imagine it looks something like this:

I AM HUMAN PERFECTION.

I did not sleep with your sister.

I am asking for a drawer rather than run screaming to the North China Sea with above referenced sister.

I make you omelets.

I make your character moderately tolerable which is a miracle in of itself.

I could continue, but you get the idea. What’s absolutely ludicrous is OLIVER gives L*UREL relationship advice.

Oliver: Well we're friends.

Me: Oliver, my son, NO YOU ARE NOT. 

At least she had the common sense to scoff at Oliver’s friendly attempt to intervene on Tommy’s behalf. (Seriously, dude just stay out of it. This is wildly inappropriate.)

L*urel was ready to move in with Oliver (even though she knew he cheated on her regularly), but freaks at faithful Tommy requesting armoire access. JFC this woman is a dating disaster zone.

L*urel: I don’t take things slow remember? I close my eyes and I jump just like you. 

My initial reaction to this speech is to call it nonsense. 

I thought this was a case of Arrow telling rather than showing with L*urel’s character. However, upon further contemplation I have reversed my opinion.

L*urel may be a pragmatic attorney on the surface, but we have watched her run the gamut of human emotions week to week. So much so it’s difficult to get a read on the character the writers are trying to construct. (Spoiler alert: they don’t know what kind of character they are trying to construct). One week she loves Oliver. The next week she’s condemning him to hell. L*urel L*nce’s feelings definitely control her.

She has been reckless too, working outside the law, by contacting the vigilante for assistance. A relationship she resumes after telling her father in 1x09 that The Hood is a killer with no remorse. See what I’m saying about the ever changing emotional spectrum?

I’m not saying L*urel having emotions and expressing them is bad. That’s a healthier reaction than what Oliver is doing, but she has been all over the map. It’s less about who L*urel is as a character and more about the writers needing her to react a certain way to make the episode work.

Oliver likes to present himself as a cool cucumber, but he has a rather unpleasant temper too. It may seem like he’s emotionless, but that is just a façade. It’s a cover for the torrent of emotions he keeps at bay.

Laurel: I think that’s why we spooked each other. Our feelings, our fears, they control us. Not the other way around.

L*urel’s “spooking each other” statement is a big line of bull, which we’ll find out later in the season. L*urel was not spooked by Oliver. She was the furthest thing from spooked, which is why she asked him to move in with her.

Oliver wasn’t spooked either. Anytime I reflect on L*uriver I’m reminded of a scene from Sex in the City. Oliver isn’t freaked out by his feelings. He’s just not that into you, L*urel.

The process in which we get OLIVER to realize this and admit it to himself will take much longer, but I can be patient. It’s time will come.

But do I think these two characters are similar? YES. They are too similar in fact. It’s one of the main reasons they don’t work as a couple. This is exactly why Tommy and Felicity are perfect for L*urel and Oliver.  They need someone steady to temper their emotions. 

They need someone happy to balance out their anger. They need someone with a bright light in order to find their own.

It’s also worth noting that Tommy was ready to run into a burning building to save Oliver so GIVE HIM A DAMN DRAWER L*UREL.

Stray Thoughts

Flashbacks were kind of boring. Fyers kidnaps Yao Fei. Oliver saves his own life by accident. Meh

Thea calling Moira out was long overdue. This kid needs a parent ASAP.

Everyone's fall clothing is really adorable.

JUST UNBUTTON THE FRACKIN BUTTON OLLIE.

Merlyn kidnapped Walter right? Or Moira? I seriously don't remember. I don’t think I care either. lol

L*urel: I am not the best example of healthy grieving.

LL has a rare moment of self awareness, which is lovely.

Oliver: I heard what you said to your father. That I'm a killer with no remorse.

L*urel: Do you?

Me: You impertinent little snot.

I like Joanna much better than L*urel and I wished she stayed, but removing Joanna from the show is the first step the writers took to limit L*urel's role. The shift is upon us.

  Not to be unsympathetic, but Moira is starting to rack up the dead husbands.

Thea fantasizing that Walter is cheating on Moira with a stewardess as the hopeful pitch is YIKES. Goodness this show could be dark.

Musings of the Kiddo  

Kiddo: Yeah! He's actually putting his family first!

Me: Settle down. It doesn't last long.

Kiddo: I thought L*urel was gonna find out.

Me: Oh my sweet summer child.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[kurisus]

Chapter 91.2 thoughts

A lot’s gearing up to happen alongside the 10th anniversary spread, so that’s fun. Spoilers under the cut.

I was yelling about this in my snaps but the art went HARD. Fitting, I guess, for a 10th anniversary chapter, but god that panel with Yukine in inverted perspective must’ve been an absolute bitch to draw. It looks sooooo good. I love the art in this manga.

I’m kind of inclined to think Ookuninushi neutralized whatever Kofuku did to Yato’s and Hiyori’s plaques, since he didn’t retie them but hung them back up and gave them a blessing. He’s a god of fortune and the god of matchmaking. So maybe they’re not COMPLETELY doomed after all :’)

Still hoping they talk about it tho

Something fishy going on with Take being branded as a traitor despite not participating in the covenant. I guess heaven has a net of their own, that expands to catch those who are associated with the traitors. Take’s been hanging around the rebels a lot since the flash mob, so naturally they’d assume he’s cavorting with them. hmmmm.

On that note, I did really love Father’s remark about how yes, Yukine’s making it easy for people to point out others’ wrongdoings, but no one’s actually doing anything to fix them. Calling someone out and making amends are two different things, and the former is only the first step, so either Hagusa needs some work or he’s not quite ready for Father’s plan to use him on heaven.

Hagusa does have some dislike of gods, so...that’ll be interesting. I feel like that will tie into how Take and the others are labeled as “traitors” because they’re technically part of heaven but not in with them either. I’m guessing Ooharai will be a final arc of sorts, with infighting between the “traitorous” gods and the “righteous” ones, and Yukine will have to learn that Yato and the others didn’t throw their lot in with Amaterasu fully, so they don’t desrve the same judgment.

The god squad still also does need to get back to the hunt for the sorcerer’s grave, and since they apparently need to destroy it to kill him but they’re not invited to participate in Ooharai, methinks something will happen to get them to leave the room they’re in under penalty of treason. Like, if they don’t destroy the grave, heaven will just nuke Fujisaki and be like “k the sorcerer is dead” just like they did with Ebisu. But we know Father can hop bodies, so maybe they’d have 10-15 years of peace before he comes back. (Father backstory. Please Adachitoka. I’m begging.)

That said, I think there will be an end to Father without a timeskip. I know timeskip is a trope in manga, but my gut’s telling me his time is almost up, one way or another. And I also get the feeling Yukine will be the one to do him in, for no particular reason. But man, it’d be a cool parallel if that happened--Yukine as the one to destroy the thing haunting Yato.

Also, poor Yuka. She had to live with the knowledge that anything she said to her brother could result in bad things happening to him, but she still wanted to keep in touch...and then one day, all the letters she’d sent came back to her, and she thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Oof.

Still waiting for Hiyori to wake up and Bishamon to...I think join the god squad, it’s not looking super likely she’ll go looking for Yato and Kazuma atm.

Speaking of which, what are they up to? We didn’t see either of them this whole chapter (first half included). They’re breaking each other’s kneecaps, I assume.

All in all, a lot of interesting things are coming together, so I’m ready to get obliterated.