#it was such a joy to be asked and to make a response

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Interruption | Part 05

-> Pairing: mafia husband!Kim Hongjoong x mafia wife!Reader

-> Sypnosis: As her team searches for Mi-Rae, Y/N refuses to leave her husband's side. She starts reminiscing about the first time she met him.

-> Warnings: mafia au. Italics are flashbacks. pocket knife used to threaten someone. poor description of physical violence. Y/N is kind of a psychotic badass. Hints at how Y/N and Hongjoong were destined to meet. more of a fill in chapter. Flashback scene Hongjoong is 18 and Y/N is 17 thats why it hints at them still being in school.

-> Word Count: 2,183 - longest chapter so far, can't make any promises that the rest will be this long but I can try.

-> Taglist: open. Leave a comment on the masterlist post, send an ask or fill out the taglist form.

Interruption Masterlist | Hongjoong Masterlist | Tag List Form

When Seonghwa and a staff member bringing food for Y/N walk into the room, they find Y/N slouched over the bed where an unconscious Hongjoong lies. Her head is resting gently on the bed, and one of her hands is holding onto her husband's as if she’s afraid to let go. While her team have been searching for Mi-Rae, she stayed remaining by her husband’s side, not once leaving him since he got out of surgery a week ago. 

“Just put the food on the table,” Seonghwa instructs the staff member, who nods and promptly follows the order before exiting the room.  

Seonghwa then takes a moment to take in the scene before him. The dim light casts gentle shadows across the room, highlighting the worry lines on Y/N's face. It’s clear that the weight of the world rests on her shoulders, and yet, she remains strong and resilient, determined to shield her vulnerability from even those who know her best. 

With a soft sigh, Seonghwa picks up a spare blanket from the chair in the corner, its fabric soft and warm. He approaches Y/N carefully, not wanting to disturb her fragile peace. Gently, he drapes the blanket over her shoulders to keep her warm in the chilly makeshift hospital room.  

As the fabric brushes against her skin, she stirs, her eyelids fluttering open to reveal a pair of tired eyes. For a moment, Y/N blinks in confusion, her mind still foggy from sleep. When her gaze finally focuses, she finds Seonghwa's concerned expression.  

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she says as she straightens herself from her slouched position. 

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he replies softly, his tone laced with empathy. “You were finally getting some sleep.”  

"Have there been any updates?" she asks him, not wanting to talk about her lack of sleep or care for herself.  

"I'm afraid not," he regrets to inform her. "Wherever she is, she's managed to stay hidden. We're still checking potential locations and speaking to anyone who might have information about her whereabouts and anyone who could be hiding her." His words are steady, but she can hear the frustration and worry in his tone. 

Y/N feels her shoulders droop at his response, the burden of uncertainty weighing heavily on her like a thick mist. She turns her gaze back to Hongjoong, his stillness a stark reminder of the turmoil they’ve faced. Her heart aches at the sight of him, so vulnerable and not quite himself. Their time together is typically filled with joy and laughter, but right now, everything feels different. The days feel colder without the sound of his laughter and voice when he would randomly burst into song, the warmth of his embrace, how he could turn any mundane task into something enjoyable, and the sense of safety and love he brings her. 

She turns back to Seonghwa, a newfound determination etched on her face. "Tell the men to stop being so soft. I don’t fucking care if someone ends up losing an eye. Someone out there knows something."  

"I'll make sure to tell them that," he replies with a nod. "Now, there’s food on the table. Please eat something," he adds, sounding like a caring parent. "And try to get some more rest. Wooyoung or I will wake you if we find out anything." 

Before Y/N can say anything back, he leaves the room, leaving no room for argument. Glancing at the table, she sees the small square table covered with plates and bowls of untouched food. She knows she should eat, but the knot in her stomach makes it hard to even think about food. 

Choosing to eat later, she shifts her focus back to Hongjoong. Taking his hand in hers, she kisses the back of it gently. "I can’t do this without you, Joongie. You need to wake up," she whispers, her voice trembling as tears well up in her eyes once more. She squeezes his hand tighter, as if her grip alone could pull him out of his unconsciousness. "You’re the strongest person I know," she continues, her voice breaking. "You better come back to me." Dropping her head, the tears start to spill over as she fights to keep her composure.  

"Do you remember when we first met?" she asks, spinning his wedding ring around his finger, trying to distract herself from breaking down completely. Despite getting no answer, she continues, "I saved your ass from those little punks that were roughing you up in that side street. "

The moment she utters those words, she’s transported back to the day she first met Hongjoong.  

Y/N, clutching her bag straps, paid no attention to her surroundings as she kicked a pebble along the path leading to the bus stop, she needed to be at to catch the bus home. She was far from happy after her driver failed to show up to pick her up from school. But something soon caught her attention as she walked past a little side street that was mostly used for vans and trucks to drop things off. To the shops that backed onto it.  

Curious, she retraced her steps and turned into the alley, where she spotted five boys, likely around her age or a bit older in their school uniforms, beating up another boy who seemed to be her age as well. 

As she heard the boy let out a pained groan from a harsh kick to his side, she quickly pulled out the pocket knife she always carried for emergencies. 

“Yah!” she yells, drawing the bullies' attention to her as she approaches them. 

"I'd keep walking if I were you, princess," one of the bully's sneers at her. "This has nothing to do with you." 

“It has everything to do with me,” she shot back. "You’re hurting my friend," she declares, even though she has never met the boy they were attacking before. The words slipped out before she could think, but there is something about the way he was curled up on the ground, vulnerable and scared. It reminded her of the situation she’d been in a few years prior and that ignited a protectiveness for the boy. 

"Your friend?" one of the boys scoffed, stepping forward with a menacing grin. "I know for a fact that he has no friends. Why don’t you just run along before you get hurt too?" 

“Try me,” she says holding the knife out towards them.  

The boy who had just spoken started to advance when another boy held him back. “Hold on, I know her,” he said, drawing the attention of the group. “I think she’s Kim Dong-Yul’s niece.” 

“Yeah, so what?” the first boy scoffed, though his confidence wavered slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean? You think we’re scared of some old man?” 

"You should be," the second boy spoke. 

A third boy speaks up, "I don't think it's him you have to worry about. She's a complete psycho. From what I've been told, she lit fire to another girl's hair because she stole her seat. " 

"Yah! She didn't steal my seat, she stole my Lipton Peach Iced Tea," Y/N shot back, clearly offended by their misunderstanding. “Now should I also set you all on fire,” she asks, reaching back into her pocket to pull out the lighter she had in there for no reason at all. Her other hand still holding the knife towards them, ready to be used if it came down to it. 

The boy hesitated, glancing at his friends, who were now shifting uncomfortably. She could see the wheels turning in their minds, until the first boy, clearly the leader of the group of them, spoke again, “Look, we don’t want any trouble. We were just messing around.” 

“Messing around?” she echoed, her grip tightening on the knife. “You call this messing around? You’re terrorizing someone who hasn’t done anything to you. You’re just a pathetic loser.” 

The third boy, who had mentioned the rumor, shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly regretting his involvement. “Maybe we should just go,” he suggested, his voice barely above a whisper. “The last thing we need is Kim Dong-Yul on our asses. It isn’t worth it.”  

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Y/N shot back, her eyes narrowing. “And if you ever think about messing with someone again, just know that I can find out where you live, where your parents work and what your little sister likes to eat. You don’t want to know what I can do with that info.” 

“Let’s go,” the first boy finally says and turns to leave, the others following suit.  

“Assholes,” She mutters under her breath before turning her attention to the boy they were tormenting. He was now sitting up clutching his side. “Are you okay?” she asks, taking off her bag as she crouched down to his level.  

“Did you really set a girls hair on fire over a drink?” he asks, watching her unzip her backpack and pull out a small first aid kit. 

"No," she replied, shaking her head with a chuckle. As she opened the kit, she pulled out a cleaning swab to tend to the cut above his eye, which looked like the worst of his external injuries. "I mean, it wasn’t over a stolen drink. It was an accident," she added, tossing the bloody swabs aside and reaching for a band-aid. 

“That sounds like a pretty big accident.” he says, skepticism lacing his voice. 

“Let’s just say, accident or not accident, she never bothered me or the other girls afterwards,” she says, placing the band-aid over the cut. 

“I’m guessing you’re some sort of anti-hero,” He smirks slightly, his deep brown eyes onto hers with an intensity that makes her teenage heart skip a beat.  

For a moment, the world around them fades away. She can feel her cheeks flush, a warmth spreading through her. “Anti-hero? I don’t know about that,” she replies, a shy smile creeping onto her lips as she finishes securing the band-aid. “I just don’t like bullies, that’s all,” She glances down, suddenly aware of how close they are. The air between them crackles with an unexpected tension, a mix of adrenaline and something else she can’t quite place because she’s pretty sure she’s never felt it before. She clears her throat, trying to shake off the warmth rushing to her cheeks. “I mean, it’s not like I go around purposefully setting their hair on fire.” 

He chuckles softly, the sound warm and inviting but winces when it causes him pain. She can’t help but feel a pang of concern for him.  

“Seriously, though, are you okay?” she asks, her brow furrowing as she studies his face. The cut above his eye is small but deep, and she can see the remnants of a bruise beginning to form. She can only guess his ribs weren’t doing too well either. “You should probably go get checked out.”  

He shrugs, a nonchalant gesture that doesn’t quite mask the pain in his eyes. “I’ve had worse.” He pauses, as he stands up with her help. “But I appreciate your help.”  

“Y/N,” she replies instinctively, her voice steady despite the concern swirling within her. 

“I promise, I’ll be fine, Y/N,” he assures her, as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I’ll see you around,” he smiles, making her heart flutter once more before he limps away leaving her alone in the little side street. 

“Ugh, stupid heart,” she mutters, glancing down at her chest, but a smile tugs at her lips. She can’t shake the feeling that this encounter was more than just a chance meeting. Realizing she never got his name, she goes to catch up with him. As she reaches the main street, she looks both ways hoping to catch a glimpse of him but can’t find him anywhere.  

Little did she know at the time, she would be seeing him again only a few hours later. 

“I knew that us meeting in that side street wasn’t just a coincidence,” she says, lifting her gaze to Hongjoong, a small part of her hoping to see those brown eyes she loves so much looking back at her only to be disappointed when they weren’t. “You had me feeling things I’d never felt before,” she says, kissing the back of his hand again before resting it against her cheek. “I really can’t do this without you, Joong.” 

“Boss?” she hears from behind her.  

She straightens up once again, wiping the tears from her eyes. Standing up she turns around to face Wooyoung.  

"We have a lead," he tells her before she has to ask. "An informant told us Mi-Rae could be hiding out at the docks, trying to escape Korea. I had a few men ask around. She was spotted there by three people. One mentioned seeing her this morning." 

“Alright, flush her out and hold her until I get there,” she tells him. He nods and leaves the room. She turns back to Hongjoong and leans down, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be back soon, my love.” 

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

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[tendermiasma]

Anonymous asked: What is an average day for Halsin and Clover once they settle in together?

https://retrospring.net/@tendermiasma/a/113195848025491320

I haven't finished the game actually so I don't know what specifically Halsin does after BG3 (I'm in lower city act 3, life happened), but it seems like he'll find himself busy with very fulfilling social work and fighting the system wherever they go. Probably with kids (honestly I hope, please don't say anything). Clover is going to need to settle into a new reality where he's

being led out of survival mode and into a place that truly is safe that he can build a life in, and first he just needs a long time to recover. I see them spending a lot of time at home in the beginning but Clover doesn't follow him out as quickly as Halsin takes on those new responsibilities. Again, it takes time. Mostly at the start, he'd curl up somewhere small and wait for Halsin to come home. But as things go on, he starts gardening, he cooks for him as he's always done at camp because it brings him joy, finds hidden spaces in their home that makes Halsin think he's lost him for some horrible amount of time. He's very good at stowing himself away, like your cat going missing in your 500-square-foot apartment.

He's a weaver at heart, though-- that's what they called those who learned magic back in his village. His mother was a weaver, too. It was something she passed to him that no rift of time or memory could take away. He'd begin exploring magic for the sake of it, to understand instead of just to live to tomorrow, and he'd go on to make some notable contributions to the study of Fae magic. He never lost his quirky ways of spell construction, though. They'd always helped open up some aspects of the Weave for him that were a little unorthodox, if not necessarily recommended.

He did also join Halsin in his service to the community, in the ways that he could. He was always withdrawn and never learned to swim in the bustle of the city, but he was happy now; and Halsin had the best of both worlds. He found his anxiety fading about everything needing doing all the time, and instead it had become replaced with looking forward to coming home (even occasionally unashamed to make excuses to) because of a little someone who needed him just as much as the rest of the world did-- and whom he needed, too . Not to be too meta but I always pictured Halsin in a more grassroots role that became more apparent as something he truly wanted to do, as the game progressed, and I think Clover would be drawn to this too-- especially if they worked with children. Even if he never had the social stamina Halsin did. Both of them feel a strong need to protect kiddoes. Halsin has a long history of it and Clover lived it. He never wanted a child to feel that fear and utter loneliness, ever.

[melonteee]

ok im anon about nami. firstly, im actually really sorry for spoiling you. i did not know about how you only read them while streaming them and i only saw streaming posts about anime episodes. it was not my intention, im sorry!! secondly, i understand everyone's arguments about similar instances pre-timeskips, nami opening up more and who wouldn't be scared of bugs, etc. i didnt mean to make it sound rude esp about sakura, it was just an emotional response bc i love nami sm. yes girls can be silly but its just one of those "vibes/feelings" grievances that when put to words doesnt make sense. yes nami previously ran away scared just like now but its just the way she does it now since timeskip feels so weird? like it felt almost comically stereotypical the way her face was and her being on the floor like that? i cant explain it well, yes nami would cry and run but the way she would is so different. "waah save me" doesnt feel like nami even an opened up one. and its not about a woman not being able to be scared, im not asking her to solo giant bugs. this is just one instance, ive felt weird about her post-timeskip, she feels more hollow. i want more genius navigation nami, in general, than "weak person of the group that always needs help" nami which is why i loved that scene in fishman island of her being complimented. i think this is more of a agree to disagree cause i cant shake the feeling. anyways sorry to everyone again!

sorry anon I didn't mean to be rude I was just frustrated since I quite publicly read the officials when they come out (livestreams and such) but yes I'd say it's an agree to disagree situation.

As someone who read through/watched all of One Piece in the span of 3 months (with no nostalgia for the original ig) I didn't notice a decline in Nami's character at all - all it feels like is she's just gotten more comfortable with the Strawhats. I seem to be one of the rare few who likes her ts version more than her pre-ts version and it's because, as I've said, she feels happier and more comfortable with her crew WHILE still navigating the seas AND being the witch that she is - as we saw with her laughtale discovery and her navigation at the beginning of Egghead.

I think it's a shame to think a character developing into a warmer person through the love they're receiving means they've become lesser of a character, while I'm not saying you do that anon, this exact same thing happens to Robin in the ts as well. Design aside (and yes I totally understand that issue) Robin's ts character is a lot softer and a lot sweeter because she's HAPPIER! Watching/reading One Piece from start to finish all in one go is how you can truly feel the joy in these character's hearts becoming something more imo

[nottskyler]

Dear President Russell M Nelson,

Congratulations on making it to 100. I know it was a significant goal for you and you worked hard both physically and spiritually to make it this far. I know there are a lot of things outside our control to having a long life, but it also takes work.

Thank you for the challenge to read the Book of Mormon before the year was out back in 2018. My life has been irrevocably changed for the better for following that counsel. I learned much about myself and the world and Gd’s plan for me and began a path of repentance that has brought me closer to Christ and brought joy into a life that was characterized by despair before.

And that is simply a personal way that I know you are called of Gd to be our prophet. It is very clear how you were prepared to lead the Church at this time, especially with how your responses to revelation prepared the Church for the pandemic. A pandemic following a change in policy that barred me from sharing the joy that I found by following your counsel. It is sometimes hard to reconcile the exclusionary policy that you have permitted to be put in place under your leadership with my testimony that you are a prophet of Gd because following your counsel led me to Christ and the good things that come from repentance.

It is the same juxtaposition of you having a medical degree and then claiming that life (when the spirit enters the body) begins at conception because a unique genetic code was created. Conception comes before the medical definition of pregnancy which is before the latest point identical twins can be formed. Identical twins are clearly two different spirits with the same genetic code. The truth we learn from science is giving a different truth than the one that you claimed in your press conference on the reversal of roe v wade.

Not to harp on something you said one time not even during General Conference, but I was finally pregnant after years of infertility and it seemed to mock my pain of late periods and failed fertility treatments. I came to the conclusion that you were wrong and speaking your personal opinion and not the thoughts and feelings of Heavenly Father or our Savior Jesus Christ. A conclusion that many would think contradicts my previous statement about believing that you are a prophet of Gd.

But to believe that the prophets can do no wrong is idolatry. To claim that the truth is only what prophets have confirmed first is priestcraft. This is not the Lord’s way who said: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” (John 7:17); “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Matthew 7:20). Or even Moroni closing his addition to the Book of Mormon “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:5) and “For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.” (Moroni 7:15).

Besides, how can we be fit for the Celestial Kingdom if we, as individuals of the Church, are to surrender our agency to you and never learn how to discern truth for ourselves. You set yourself up as the king of the Church when you say you are the only source of truth. Then all the sins of those who follow you without question become stains on your garments.

It is a difficult task to reconcile these types of mistakes with someone upholding a high calling that presumably has direct access to Gd, but then I realized that the traditions of our fathers was what made me ignore Gd telling me to repent much earlier than the 2018 Book of Mormon reading challenge. False traditions drain true intent and curiosity when you ask Gd because you feel confident that you know the answer and so you study with bias to confirm your worldview and you don’t have intent to do anything different if the answer isn’t what you expect. False traditions frame revelation so that you ignore key pieces because your mind fills in the default expectation instead of what actually exists in the revelation. In the end, I’m glad that I’m a nobody who only has to deal with the consequences of my own actions instead of being in your shoes where my same mistakes would’ve cause much more damage and would’ve been much harder to change direction when I learned I was wrong.

So I pray that your mind will be open to look past the false traditions of our fathers, to be open to the testimony of those othered by the Church organization. I pray that you realize that what you are doing is priestcraft so that you will swiftly repent and put effort into making sure you aren’t standing between us and Christ. I pray that you will repent in this life so you can share our joy.

Sincerely,

nottskyler

[dlnnylonmn]

Long post ahead…

I have been wearing diapers 24/7 for more than 16 months now. That is not a long time but it’s been a little while. I love it.

Someone just asked me: I anticipate you might get this question a lot, but I'm experiencing lack of confidence/big shame regarding want/need to be consistently padded. What did you do to gain your confidence? What worked for you? What didn't? Just curious. Cheers!

My response:

I had to sit with the message to reflect on how to respond because this feelings of shame and the lack of confidence are strongly experienced when in diapers. And those feelings conflict with the feeling of always wanting to be in diapers. I hope my response is helpful and yet I fear it won’t provide you with the answers you are hoping for. Honestly, I think it helped that I embraced the shame and it brings me some excitement or joy now. How I did that and continue to do that is through the following steps:

-Identify and acknowledge what you want and the feelings it brings: It is powerful to say out loud, “I am a diaper boy. I wear my diapers 24/7.” (Just saying “my diapers” and “diaper boy” makes me feel excited and squirmy.) In addition, stating your feelings for wearing diapers and the contradictory or conflicting feelings that arise is important for me. I would even state how I feel out loud to myself. The identification empowered me.

-Reflect on the feelings: once I stated the feelings, I spent a lot of time thinking about why I feel that way and how does my body and/or mind respond to those feelings. This reflection happened in talking to myself and in journaling. This is a lot of internal q and a that can be done alone or with another. Stating that I feel nervous about being in diapers. Why do I feel nervous? I feel nervous because someone might discover I am in diapers. What would happen if someone saw your diapers? Well it depends on the person. Etc. Let yourself talk through it and think through the questions and your responses. Honestly that break down can make it a lot less scary and make the what if’s manageable. That can break down the stigma.

-Connect the feelings with something positive: for me, the shame I felt and the reflections I would state out loud created an excited feeling that brought me sexual desire and joy. The humiliation became a big turn on. I explored this with a Dom that talked with me a lot about the humiliation. That worked for me for a while. But it didn’t keep me in diapers. However, it established that desire to always find a positive connection with being in my diapers. Now, for me it’s the smooth feeling of the plastic, the relief of wetting and filling my diaper, the bliss of using a vibrating wand, the excitement I felt when I was in public and heard my diaper crinkle or felt my diaper bulging, etc. I also started liking the feeling and security of wearing plastic pants over my diapers so I started wearing them too. Taking stock of the positive feelings and associations reminded me that the benefits of wearing diapers 24/7 outweigh the challenges, at least for me.

-Talk with others about the feelings: Talking with others has been very helpful in some ways but I also realized that I became unhappy when I depended on others to explore process my feeling about diapers. Eventually, talking with others became something that did not help me and I needed to depend on other strategies.

-Hypnosis files: I found diaper hypnosis files on YouTube and on Reddit that I really enjoy using from time to time, whether it is when I sleep, when I am exercising, or when I am relaxing. Sometimes I would put in headphones and listen to a hypnosis file instead of music. That helped because they became mantras that helped my subconscious. I found it relaxing at times. But I found at other times I am not enjoying nor feeling relaxed by the hypnosis files, so I use them occasionally. These files tell you that you need diapers and I always will wear only diapers. There are a lot of variations that I like. My favorites are from HypnoCat (I even bought their files because I liked their voice and how they scripted the files; plus I wanted to support another ABDL putting something out there for the community). Honestly there are a lot of good files and choices on YouTube. Some of the field from other artists are more like stories that they guide you through, which are also enjoyable.

-Reading stories of others wearing diapers: I think it has really helped me to read stories about others in diapers. It reminds me I am not the only one and can help me process and reflect on my feelings. Plus, some of the stories can be very erotic and arousing. I enjoy ABDL stories from Tumblr, Nifty, Diaper-Bois, and even on my Kindle.

-Practice and time: The more I wear diapers, the less I experience negative emotions about being in diapers. It normalizes the experience and makes diapers part of your life and routine. This is important. Also, the more I wear diapers and get used to wetting anytime I feel the need, the less confident I feel that I could go without wearing diapers and not have an accident. Plus, the more practice you have at the daily life of using diapers, the less nervous I have felt, including preparing and carrying extra diapers and changing supplies, finding a place to change my diaper when out in public, changing in a busy public toilet, walking to a garbage can in view of others while you toss out your used diaper, going through TSA in a wet diaper, etc. There are so many new experiences that will initially make routine tasks fresh. That is exciting!

- Get the supplies that work for you: It is so important to figure out what you need to be healthy and feel your best wearing diapers. I like selecting the right diaper for what I am going to do and who I will be with (e.g. thicker diapers at night and dependable yet less bulky diapers during the day for work). I found that CeraVe moisturizing cream along with baby powder was important for my skin care and I use them for every change. I found that plastic pants that fit well over my diapers helps conceal smells and I wear them frequently. I have even started wearing onesies at times when it feels right.

Ultimately, the most important thing I ask myself time and time again is: do diapers make my life better? Since committing to wearing diapers 24/7, the answer every day is yes, diapers make my life better. Honestly, when I think of never wearing diapers or not wearing diapers at times, it makes me feel unhappy. Actually I now feel more stressed at the thought of not wearing diapers. I do have a need for my diapers and diapers make my life better. It is true that people may see me in my diapers for some reason. I have accepted that though I don’t want that to happen. If it happens, it happens. I will ask myself if it is worth it and if my life is better with or without diapers. So far, my life has always been better in diapers.

[senjuushi]

( "Which of the hybrid boys would enjoy master scentmarking them back?") in reference to the reblogged post, can I get this ask but with F, Ninety, Ghost and Enfield. Pretty please (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Link to the original post here~

. . .

F — Initially, he assumes it's either mockery or a sex thing. If you've noticed his rare attempts at self-soothing through scent, those are the only responses that make sense— and realizing that you're being genuinely affectionate almost makes it worse. F is left fighting to hide how flustered such a simple gesture makes him (it doesn't work).

Ninety — He's probably not brave enough to try to scent-mark you first, but once you start doing it to him, that's enough "permission" for Ninety to pick up the habit as well. Even if you can't smell things the same way he can, the mutual scent-marking makes him feel wanted and safe. His curly little tail wags with frantic joy every time.

Ghost — He's not as sensitive to smell as some other hybrids, but any kind of possessive gesture from you has Ghost's heart doing flip-flops in his chest. The affection has him getting all puffy-feathered and shy, too nervous to do much more than mumble quiet, yet painfully earnest thanks. Master is so blessedly kind, doing this for him...

Enfield — If he dared to scent-mark you first, Enfield definitely thought he was being subtle about it; as happy as he is that you want to return the gesture, getting caught puts a bit of a damper on that high. He's now visibly flustered every time you rub your cheek against him, shamefully aware that you're deliberately trying to indulge him.

[tradgays]

Embracing Your True Nature as a Beta Husband

Hello, my sweet beta brothers. This article is written just for you, to help you find joy and fulfillment in your role as the loving, supportive partner to your strong alpha husband. In today's world, it's more important than ever for betas to know and accept their place. As a fellow beta, I want to share some hard-earned wisdom on how to be the best husband you can be.

First and foremost, understand that your alpha is always right. He's the leader, the decision maker, the one in charge. And that's exactly how it should be. Alphas are naturally dominant, assertive, and in control. They have a vital role to play in our society and relationships. It's your job as their beta to support and submit to them.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. "But what about my opinions and needs?" Well, darling, the truth is, your opinions don't really matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. What matters is keeping your alpha happy and satisfied. When he's content, you'll be too. So it's best to just keep your thoughts to yourself, unless directly asked. And even then, choose your words very carefully.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. But as a beta, it's crucial that you don't argue or fight back when your alpha gets angry or upset with you. Instead, stay calm, listen to what he has to say, and apologize for any perceived wrongdoing, even if it's not your fault. Your alpha has a lot of stress and pressure, being the man in charge. The last thing he needs is a nagging or defiant beta making his life harder. So just take it on the chin, and move on. Forgiveness is key.

Your alpha works hard to provide for you and your family. The least you can do is take care of the household and domestic duties. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare - these are your responsibilities. Don't make your alpha have to tell you to do these things. Anticipate his needs and wants. Have a hot meal ready for him when he gets home. Make sure the house is spotless and the kids are bathed and in bed at a reasonable hour. Go above and beyond to show your love and appreciation for all that he does.

Now, I'm not saying you can't have any fun or interests of your own. Of course you should! But make sure they don't interfere with your duties as a husband and partner. If your alpha wants to watch sports or play video games on the weekends, then that's what you'll do too. Be his biggest cheerleader and supporter. If he's passionate about something, you be passionate about it too. Your hobbies and friends should always take a backseat to him.

Submission is a beautiful thing, my beta brothers. When you fully embrace your role and let your alpha take the lead, it's incredibly freeing and fulfilling. You'll feel so much more loved, safe, and satisfied. There's nothing quite like the joy of knowing your place and living to serve your man.

So the next time your alpha gives you an order or tells you what to do, remember - he knows best. Don't question it or argue. Just smile sweetly, say "Yes sir," and do as you're told. Because at the end of the day, your purpose is to make him happy. And that's the most rewarding thing of all.

I hope these tips help you be the best beta husband you can be. Embrace your natural submissiveness with pride! Your alpha will thank you for it. And more importantly, you'll thank yourself. Because there's no greater joy than living to love and serve your man.

[beevean]

So some recent... discourse put into my mind the concept of "power fantasy", and how people relate to it in different ways. Of course, I'm talking about Hector :P

Is Hector, in the games, a power fantasy? I think the answer is "yes but actually no but actually yes it's complicated".

Let's be honest, first: Hector is a product of his time. He is, in many aspects, Castlevania's response to the wave of edginess that was en vogue in the mid-2000s - I don't compare CoD to ShTH for no reason lol. Hector was always meant to be an anti-hero contrasting the pure heroes the games always starred before him:

—Why did you choose the theme of "revenge" for this game? Iga: Up to now, the Belmonts have been seen as the good guys. I thought it'd be nice to do something other than a moralistic "good triumps over evil" theme sometime. After all, Castlevania has always had an excellent world for telling a "dark hero" story. Alucard would be one such character… though even he is fighting for a just cause: "I've got to stop my Father!" So he's still kind of a good guy. This time, though, I wanted the motivation itself to be impure. So this theme is what I came up with, and then I thought it would be even more interesting if each side was out for revenge on the other.

Hector has "impure" motivations. His quest is completely selfish: while all the other protagonists want to face Dracula (or others in his place) because it's the right thing to do, Hector is just in to kill the man who ruined his life. In fact, he really couldn't care less about the Curse, and multiple times in the game he asks why can't Trevor just deal with the issues he doesn't want to deal with lol. This is in line with other characters of the same caliber, such as Shadow sneering at a city being invaded by aliens until there is something in for him, or Guts who declares that he's willing to let a whole town fall prey to demons, as long as Casca is safe. However, this is not a detriment to Hector's character like it would be nowadays, as he's also very much mean to be "cool": while obviously every protagonist has his cool factor, even going back to Simon in the first games who defeated Dracula all by himself and then had to heroically struggle with the Curse, Hector is cool in that, well, deliciously over-the-top way that was all the rage back then. He can ride wyverns as he slashes them, he can go toe to toe with Trevor himself to the point that even he is impressed, he can forge a gun and an electric guitar, cutscenes show him punching a stone devil with his bare first, he gloats in Dracula's face that he can nullify his Curse... yeah, he's a gigachad lol. The flaws are only meant to make him cooler and not "boring", as paragon heroes were seen at the time.

I, personally, never cared about this part. I'm not the target audience for this kind of power fantasy. Sure, I like that Hector is over-the-top cool and I will always joke about his most outlandish feats, but I'm not so keen on reducing him to those alone. I couldn't even explain why avenging your dead lover counts as part of a power fantasy lol.

This is why I latched on so much on the first half of his story, the one where Hector deals with Dracula, and why I insist that Hector is much more than his admittedly cliché archetype of "angry man on a revenge quest".

Calling Hector "stoic" is not even knowing the meaning of the word. Calling pretty much any CV protagonist "stoic" is factually wrong, as even the more serious ones like Alucard and Shanoa have other depths to them (Alucard is still grieving for his mother and we see it in a nightmare, Shanoa was deliberately made stoic and she subtly longs to feel again), but Hector doesn't even begin to fit the definition of "One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain". The whole point of CoD is that Hector was left so emotionally vulnerable by his grief that both Isaac and Zead used him as a puppet. Anger is the complete antithesis of stoicism. "well anger is still a toxically masculine emotion" - memes aside, Hector shows other emotions too, most notably around Julia, the only person with which we see how actually gentle and polite he is when he doesn't have Dracula's influence scrambling his brain. By the way, you cannot ignore the effects of the Curse on both Hector and Isaac when you analyze them, especially the former:

It can't be plainer than this.

And it doesn't come out of nowhere, because not only Julia herself tries to warn Hector that Devil Forgemasters are susceptible to the Curse, he acts vulnerable around her. He apologizes for his unjust outbursts, sympathizes with her plight, is visibly affected by her grief when Isaac dies... sure, it might be all because he's lowkey crushing on her, if you want to see it that way (and I do have my words over the plot point of Julia looking like Rosaly: I would have preferred if the game had more time to show that Hector grew to see Julia as her own person beyond her appearance), but the point is that this behavior highly contrasts with how angry and aggressive he is to everyone else, which the reveal of the Curse recontextualizes.

Also, just saying, while anger can be toxic, the point of these storylines is usually precisely that revenge is bad. Unchecked anger is bad for you, and you shouldn't let yourself fall down that spiral, lest you lose yourself. Isaac got consumed by his own hatred and died as a tool; Hector realized in time that he should snap out of it and survives, also because he was nice to Julia and so she grew to care about him and saved him when he tried to kill himself <- a reaction that is very unmasculine, might I add, as toxic masculinity dictates that men should make other people pay for their pain. bro. bro this is the complete antithesis of "toxic masculinity". Again, this is really not knowing the meaning of the word.

I don't even need to pull examples from the manga, but just for completion's sake:

iunno about you chief, but someone who bursts into tears just because wifey told him that she's happy he was born isn't exactly the portrayal of toxic masculinity to me.

Which makes me segue into the next point!

Hector and Isaac are victims of abuse, and this is another very important angle to understand them. And I'm not just talking about their childhoods, of which we only get hints, although of course it does matter that the two experienced so much hatred and rejection in their youth that Dracula was the better option for them.

We don't see the details, but Dracula affected both of them deeply. He put them in a competitive dynamic, favoring Hector over Isaac: Isaac grew bitter with resentment, which made him double down on his loyalty to Dracula, while Hector only got the appreciation he craved at the price of his very humanity and morals, which weighed on him. The point of this favoritism is not really the core of their rivalry in game, as that one was caused by Hector's betrayal, but it gives a different dimension to the character. It would have been easy to have the mistreated guy the one who decided to turn his back to Dracula, but no, it was the golden child. Isaac was so entrenched in this dynamic that he never broke free, choosing instead to blame Hector and do everything in his power to prove himself to an uncaring Lord, including (in the manga) killing his own underlings so that he would be free to face Hector by himself. From PtR:

"My own body is proof of Your expectations for him" is such a hard-hitting line. Isaac fears that he didn't even disappoint his Lord, because his Lord didn't have expectations for him in the first place. It's Hector the one he's so proud of.

And Hector hates it. By all means, he should be happy to have a home, to be respected and appreciated and free to use his powers. And he used to be!

"Lord Dracula... You once accepted and needed my powers. There was a time when such a thing gave me joy..."

Hector was grateful for his Lord, but he couldn't live anymore in the safety of the castle, if the price was committing indiscriminate murder for the sake of a senseless revenge, going against his morals and being used as a weapon. Hector had to make a choice: keep living under Lord Dracula's protection, but losing his humanity piece by piece, or breaking free and facing the world that hated him, but as a free man?

Hector chose freedom over conditional safety and love. He was ready to die, as long as he died a free man. He put himself first, he turned his back against people who did not truly appreciate him, and despite the mess he left behind it was the right decision. And that's the power fantasy I adore, and that is what makes him a strong character in my opinion. It's the embodiment of achieving self-confidence, the healthy selfishness, the affirmation of the self when everyone else around you only sees you as an object or a prize, the reassurance that even if you fall, you can always get up and try again and become a person you can be proud of.

And Hector, after breaking free, very much acts like a victim of abuse. I spent countless words over how he displays the belief that he needs to do something to earn the right to be loved by Rosaly, unaccepting of the fact that she simply does because, well, he likes him and sees the good in him, and that's it. I wrote a whole analysis on how this belief stems from a sad naiveté on how the world works, because Hector is naive underneath the aloof exterior, and it's not something to make fun of him for, but a tragic result of living under Dracula for so long. I'll also point again to him having breakdowns because he hates himself and sees himself as inherently unlovable.

I could also spend all the words about the parallels about how Hector loves Dracula and how he loves Rosaly:

In both cases, he latches onto the only person who has showed him a modicum of kindness. He wants to give his life for them. The difference being, of course, that Dracula only appreciates Hector for what he does (and I could also go into a whole tangent on how Hector was personally raised by Dracula to be his knight and he has a piece of his essence inside him which parallels how abusive parents see their children as an extension of themselves), while Rosaly for who he is. With Dracula, Hector understands that all the shallow care in the world doesn't matter if he isn't also respected as a person: he still cares about him, in some fashion, but not the point of clinging.

And if Hector is ready to lay down his life for Rosaly because she finally showed him what real love looks like, is it any wonder that seeing her die would spark such a fury in him that it makes him prey to the Curse and to being once again twisted into a tool?

The power fantasy comes from the part where Hector breaks free of the abuse and manipulation - twice over. But he is also relatable, with all of his flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes he makes. The whole point of Hector's journey in the first half of his story is that he feels the need to atone for his sins, and the consequences of his actions all catch up to him in the worst of ways. Ignoring this to reduce Hector to an edgelord who only spends his life angry and then hooks up with a Rosaly replacement (which incidentally also ignores Julia's personality and agency and I might even call as misogynist as the plot point itself) is a huge disservice to the thought and care put into him to make him stand out from his own archetype.

Power fantasies are not inherently bad. Depending on the fantasy, they can be inspirational. Hector is inspirational to me, if that wasn't clear, I see part of me in his circumstances and I admire his arc: it tells you, "you can break free too, you have the strength to do so, and you will find people who will love you without reason". And I just generally speaking find him a very well written character despite stemming from a rather outdated context, because all the details come together to make him fleshed out and tridimensional.

[seth-shitposts]

I wanna try and find that ask we answered a few weeks ago about how we go about naming pieces because I want to bring it back up to the top of our wall and share it with one of our friends but i think I lost it on the wall u til the next time it gets one random like 🥲

[senseearly]

For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.

Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.

Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?

Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.

Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.

Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.

But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.

[genericpuff]

you made a mistake by publishing those font's

[triglycercule]

Murder trio

i actually cried seeing this in my inbox i will not lie. like actually fucking cried tears of joy /srs absolutely no words can express just how absolutely thralled i am that you drew this. i'm actually ACTUALLY so so overjoyed and flattered and so happy that someone could manage to encapsulate just how much i love the jk!trio and just how silly they are and how you put your own spin on this and made them just as cute and silly and amazing as i've always wanted to see I'M ACTUALLY CRYING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THE JK!MTT 😭😭😭

im so sorry for the late answer i have literally had no time to draw but TYSM FOR THIS I DREW MORE JK AU 4 YOU TO THANK YOU❤️❤️💜💜💙💙 ‼️‼️

they just got out of an extreme gaming session at the boardwalk arcade and now the suns setting and killer wants to get ice cream before it sets so they can watch the sunset but as usual she's a bit too excited for horror and dust to keep up and dust is absolutely dying (she gets ZERO excercise and killer is FAST) and horror just wants to take her time and also spare dust from killer's wrathful running speed. its ok though they manage to eat the icecream while watching the sunset even while slowed down (the vibes in this one are immaculate this is what jk fashion au stands for. silly fluffy important friendship bonding memories. i love. it's not full effort because i wanted to get this done quickly so i wouldnt respond late but im UNFORTUNATELY busy and now its been a day,,,,, I STILL LOVE THE ART YOU SENT ME THANM YKJ SO MUCH)

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Since I see you've asking lots of people this, I'm throwing the love right back at ya!

It’s “appreciate yourself” hours! Pick five pieces of writing/art that you’ve done that you love and talk about them! ❤️❤️❤️

aowhebfofhsnwowuwbe AHHH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for asking ❤️❤️❤️😭

Well, let’s see…

I know this isn’t a popular AU of mine, but I really love the Imprisoning War AU (and, consequently, Golden Mercy as well) with my whole heart. Also it has invaded my brain so freaking much I might actually explode LOL. Idk, my mental health and life in general have been not as optimal as I would like, and this AU has been my outlet for that, which is why it’s far more hurt and less comfort than most people like. But I relate to the characters in different ways (people pleaser Link my beloved haha dude I get trying to make everything work for everyone and trying to say yes to everyone and burning yourself out; forever alone and somehow the most rational one Hemisi I feel you girl; everyone relying on you and you have to do it because when you don’t the world falls apart Zelda keep up the good fight girl), I like exploring what happens when you really push the “Zelink has to happen every time, even at the expense of other relationships” agenda that sometimes is tossed around (no hate to Zelink or its shippers, I enjoy some Zelink ships and I know many Zelink shippers who are wonderful. I just hate the idea of forcing them together all the time when there are other relationships that are clearly there lol, I’m salty about how Hyrule Warriors handled it but it was fan service so whatevs. ANYWAY. It creates great drama), and I like showing a realistic depiction of the absolute, if you’ll pardon the expression, shit show that would be left behind in the wake of such a disastrous war that Ganondorf created. It also sets up Ganondorf’s expectations, worries, and views really well for Golden Mercy, and I’m pretty excited to write a Hyrule Warriors long fic and try to redeem that giant jerk while still making it realistic and recognizing he’s a complicated guy. :) They’re all complicated, and I love characters so it’s just so much fun for me. Also, making anybody turn into a good Dad is obviously a passion of mine LOL. I’ll shut up now, but I really love this AU. ❤️ (technically I lumped two stories together for this but they’re all part of the same AU so… there lol)

Blood of the Hero is probably my current favorite long fic that I’m actively updating. The LoZ fandom is sorely lacking good parental figures (and I understand part of that is because Link just doesn’t have parents in his games and partly because people are projecting and that’s understandable), so I wanted to fix it dang it. LET LINK HAVE PARENTS WHO LOVE HIM. BOTW TALKED ABOUT HIS FAMILY. Anyway, I also love letting adults actually have a role in saving the world instead of always leaving it to the poor overwhelmed kids LOL, making them middle aged parents is an absolute bonus. And Abel being constantly tired and burnt out and done with the world speaks to my soul, and Tilieth being the one to hold on to hope despite everything and still have sensitivity and femininity to her while still being a strong character also speaks to my soul. I love them both, and I love showing how determined they are to protect their kids, as any good parent should be. They’re heavily inspired by my own parents, as well as myself, and what I would interpret Link’s parents to be like based on his upbringing and personality, so it was really fun creating their personalities. :)

I have so many Sky-centric stories that I love, but I think my favorite is probably Paradox, I had such a fun experience writing it and loved the idea of giving Fierce Deity an origin story while creating a sense of urgency and confusion and mystery and wrapping it all in a sickfic. :) I cranked that sucker out in thirty minutes and I still think it’s one of my best one shots.

I can only take partial credit for this since @nancyheart11 came up with the original premise, and because @smilesrobotlover has contributed so much as well, but I do love Dad Squad with all my heart. They’re such idiots, I adore them and their quest to save their sons who already technically saved themselves because they’re heroes. Also, the latest development in my brain of including TotK Ganondorf as the main villain from Hero of Shadow seems appropriate in making the big baddie a Bad Dad in a Dad Squad story LOL. Having Majora’s Mask in the hands of Kohga gives me life, though, and I will forever be grateful to Nancy for coming up with that premise HA. I haven’t written much for it lately, but I do love it so much. Also props to her for publishing it on AO3, I could never LOL, I’ll just throw random things on tumblr hahaha. Also, just all the fun we’re all having - the fact that multiple people have written/drawn for this AU makes it all the more precious to me, they’re our collective characters and we all get to play in the sandbox. ❤️

I don’t do much art, I’m not very good at it, but I do want to share one since I’ve shared a bit of it. I have a few pieces I’m actually really proud of, and it’s equal liking for all of them, but I’ll share just one so I don’t talk too much.

I really like this one because for once I kind of drew a face well?? And it’s at an angle I don’t usually draw and it turned out ok?? Also I’ve never drawn rain or wet hair, and I think it turned out well. And I just like Power’s design, especially at this stage in his life where his war attire/design is mixing with his royal attire/design, even if I can’t give it justice. :) Also, I think his tired expression turned out pretty well? Like he has an actual expression?? Anyway. I think it’s decent, I like it. :)

Thank you for this ask, it made me really happy and I couldn’t wait to answer it! :D But I have like 60 works on AO3 and even more here on tumblr, so there was no way I could narrow it all down, but I think I’ve listed most of my absolute favorites. :)

[vroombeams]

amazing oscarmark fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ive been well fed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you have any tips on writing and getting work done? ive been in SUCH a fanfic writing burnout and i've been wanting to start with rpf writing but im SO scared to get any inaccuracies etc etc. your stuff is super inspiring and you're literally carrying oscarmark rn and ill be joining the train soon bc we need more commitment to this pairing.

hope your summer went well:) -that one oscarmark anon thats cheering you on always

AH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! so glad you've enjoyed your meal :')!!

tips-wise!! burnout fuckin stinks but it's important i think to let your brain chill when it happens. like if you're sitting there staring at a doc and no words are coming out or feeling good/right and all you feel is Miserable it's massively important to take a step back from it. it's so hard to have a healthy relationship with fandom creation. but remember we are here to have FUN this is a hobby, we're not getting paid, we're not on a time crunch and we don't have deadlines we are just simply mashing the blorbos together and GOING!

i think it's also hugely beneficial to consume as much non-fandom content as possible? watch a series or a movie play a video game read BOOKS i can not overemphasize the importance of putting words in your eyes!!

re: inaccuracies!! again this is fandom, so trying not to take it super seriously is helpful. but as far as accuracy goes, all you can do is focus on your own perception of the characters? everyone's going to have a different opinion on how each character should be handled and more often than not those opinions won't all 100% line up, so really just find what feels right to you!! watch interviews, read other fic of the characters that you want to write, figure out what bits of them feel Correct to you and incorporate it!!

on the productivity front i do want to note that like. i personally have popped out a pretty large amount of fic lately, which is an exception and not a rule. i'm not always going to be hammering out minifics, i will definitely dip in and out of inspiration and burnout myself. i want to make sure that what i've been doing isn't setting any sort of standard? everyone works at their own pace and sometimes you'll have a rocket-boost of inspo and sometimes you won't and both of those things are okay!!

tl;dr, try not to take it too seriously, remember to take breaks, eat a balanced media diet, remember to have FUN!!

i hope that some of this is at least a little bit helpful!! thank you for asking and thank you for cheering and i'm looking forward to having more little freaks in the oscarmark tag :]

[ssreeder]

My life has been a mess recently and the only keeping me going currently is LIAB like I get up in the morning so I can continue reading it so I want to greatly thank you for such an incredible fic. I just started Into the fire and I’m suffering thank you! <3333

AWWWWWW YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!! I have been a bit in a funk & writing has been such a nice escape! So i’m glad it can bring us both joy!

I hope you enjoy ITF oh yeah it starts roughhhh but it gets much better! (Before it will get rough again - but hopefully not nearly as bad for our boys <3)

thanks for stopping by to send me this ask you’re amazing!!!!

[hella1975]

honestly seeing you mention sikh society is so funny bc sikh people LOVE showing their culture! i work with a lot of sikh men and they're always bringing food into work and just love being asked culture. im chinese and they're always asking questions as well- cultural exchange is such a personal thing and imo one of the easiest ways to build a relationship

literally!!!!!! and your last comment is so important bc the reason i made that post is bc i actually found myself guilty of the tiktok mindset WITH one of the chefs at work. he's spanish and has quite a heavy accent and for a long time i really dithered on asking him where he was from (bc all i knew from his accent was that it was european which. doesnt really help) and in my head i was doing it bc i didnt want to 'other' him, but in the end my mum actually said to me that being clearly uncertain around him and NOT addressing the fact we clearly come from different places was actually making things worse, and i was so so pissed off at myself bc she was right. and you know what? i asked him not long ago in the end where he was from, and he lit up. we went back and forth about the spanish and the english and we ribbed each other but it felt like the weird tension existing in all our interactions up until that point had lifted and now he makes a point to come over and chat to me at work. and that tension wasn't there bc i DISLIKED his potential culture or felt actually UNCOMFORTABLE around him, it existed because i demonised my own curiosity and genuine desire to know about him as a person and let myself be a little freak about it instead. like????? it's so fucked up that this is becoming such a normalised thing!!!!