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asteriskemily · 5 years ago

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The Five People Duck Fell For

(And The One Who, Quite Literally, Picked Him Up)

Here’s a kinda shitty, but kinda okay fic that I wrote because I didn’t know that needed Waynerva until Justin handed it to me on a silver platter.

If Wayne Newton has to real think about it, he would say that his first crush was on Danny Keil in the second grade. They lived in the same cul-de-sac and their mothers were both on the PTA, so they were often made to spend time together. They walked to school together, they ate lunch together, and they played tag together. It was the perfect friendship for two eight year old boys.

Danny moved away in the third grade. His mom was still around, but Wayne would never again see Danny. Wayne’s mom told him that Danny’s parents got divorced. Wayne didn’t know what that meant, but he knew that Danny was gone.

Wayne hadn’t realized that it was a crush at the time. He barely knew what a crush was and when he learned what it was, he didn’t know he could have one on a boy. By the time he recognized what it had been, Wayne had already been taught that boys liking boys was a bad thing, so he chose to avoid thinking about his first friend.

Wayne had his first kiss at a birthday party in the fifth grade and it was the beginning of his whirlwind romance with Becky Emberson. They shared pudding cups and pushed each other on the swings during recess and once Wayne gave her a dandelion on Valentine’s Day to show that he really loved her.

Becky’s favorite subject was art and Wayne’s was English and, because of that, Becky said that they were too different and that they had to break up. Wayne was absolutely heartbroken. One month later Juno Devine came to Kepler with three things that Wayne found fascinating: a Polaroid camera, a Walkman, and a love for nature that he had never seen in anyone else. Juno became his best friend and together they sat in the woods, listening to R.E.M. and taking stupid pictures of each other. Wayne made silly faces at the camera and when the picture came sliding out of it Juno laughed and said that his mouth looked like a duck’s bill. She took a pen and wrote, under the picture, Wayne “The Duck” Newton. The nickname stuck.

Tabatha and all of her friends were attractive, popular, and loaded. He asked her out on a dare and was shocked when she actually said yes. They went to a drive in movie theater that was just outside of town and made out in her car while The Empire Strikes Back played in the background. They dated for three months and neither of them found the relationship particularly interesting. She took him skiing on his 18th birthday and he fell down the mountain and nearly broke his legs. He then limped to the Wolf Ember and had his first ever bowl of French onion soup and it changed his life. She found him there, eating soup and trying not to break down in tears at its glory. She drove him home in silence and they both knew that this would be their last date.

That same night a blue woman who was maybe a ghost or maybe computers told him that he was destined for greatness, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the soup and the math test he had on Tuesday and how he wasn’t the right guy to save the world.

Duck wanted to get as far away from Kepler as he could. Away from the people he was only half-friends with, away from the mom that called Juno a dead beat just because she didn’t fit the perfect standard of what she thought a girl should be, away from whatever destiny he may or may not actually have. The farthest he could get was Marshal University. Even if he wasn’t so far from Kepler, it was like a whole other world. A world with less stress about destinies and more cell service. A world where he didn’t feel terrified when he was calling that cute boy he met at the campus bar and asking him out on a date. Duck Newton dated Charlie Wallace for nearly three years before he got a letter from his little sister that told him that their mom had died in a car crash.

That same day, Duck packed his bags and bought a bus ticket back to Kepler. He told Charlie goodbye and they both knew that they wouldn’t be able to keep in touch. When Duck got to Kepler he hugged June and they both cried. Their dad died when they were little and now their mom was gone too. This was all the family that they had left.

Duck got an apartment and a job and he finished college online. June went to school and tried to have normal life. Duck became a ranger and June made it all the way to Harvard to become a lawyer. Everything was normal. That is, until Duck had a dream about an archway made of stone and suddenly Minerva was back.

Duck thought that the mothman was hot. He may be just a regular guy now, but he was a regular guy who knew where the mothman lived. He went to knock on the door to the winnebago that Indrid lived in and it opened before his fist connected. Indrid smiled at him with a grin that seemed to wide to be human. This is because it in fact wasn’t human. Duck asked him out for coffee and Indrid agreed. They sat and talked about having visions of the future while they drank coffee and shared a scone.

It was the first date that either of them had been on in quite some time and as they walked back to the winnebago Indrid informed Duck that it was the last one that they would be going on together. He told Duck that there wasn’t a future where the two of them ended up together and that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. In the months following the date, Duck would think back to what Indrid said to him as he walked away, still wearing his too-wide, inhuman grin.

“So few people have true soulmates, Duck Newton. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.”

Minerva had been quiet lately. While she usually went through life roaring like a clap of thunder, since the end of the battle that she had been fighting for who knows how long, she was more silent. Duck didn’t necessarily think it was a bad thing. She seemed calm like she was finally at peace.

He came home to find Minerva laying on the floor with Moony the cat sitting proudly on her chest.

“Wayne Newton,” she chuckled at her own joke before it had the chance to come out of her mouth “I fear that this deceptively small beast has felled me. I lay here, trapped by its powerful grasp, unable to escape. Please, Wayne Newton, flee before you suffer the same fate.”

“I refuse to run and leave you behind, Minerva! I will save you!” Duck set down his groceries and playful ran to Minerva’s side. He crouched down and picked up Moony, then set her down on the ground. Moony ran off to scratch up Ducks pillows. He plopped down next to Minerva as she sat up.

“You have saved me, Wayne Newton. I am forever in your debt.” Minerva pushed herself off the floor and offered a hand to Duck. She pulled him up and put a hand on his shoulder. Her smile was brighter than any of stars in the universe.

“Would you help me with the groceries?” He asked. It was something easy, something normal. They both needed a lot more of that. For a little bit they worked in silence and then Minerva spoke up.

“I have something that I feel that I need to speak to you about, Wayne Newton.” She seemed serious and almost nervous. The tone made Duck nervous too.

“Yeah, what’s up?” He tried to seem calm as he set aside the ingredients for the soup that they would be attempting to make for dinner that night.

“Since we finally fulfilled our destinies things have been very calm.” She started. Duck nodded along, listening intently. “And I think that that is a good thing. It is nice to have the opportunity to be calm and to think about something other than a battle that is coming. And now that I’ve had that time to think, I’ve been thinking a lot about how lucky it was that I ended up choosing you. I know that it was a somewhat random choice, but I highly doubt that things would have gone the way that they did had it been anyone else.” For a moment she paused. She looked as though she was considering whether or not she was going to keep going. In the end she must have decided to continue.

“You are someone who is very important to me, Wayne Newton, and I cannot imagine a world where we never met. You changed my life. When I had chosen Leo, he was truly just a warrior that I was training, but when you and I started training together, you became friends. I am grateful that you taught me how to be someone’s friend again.” Duck smiled at her.

“I can’t imagine a life without you either, Minnie.” Duck had been thinking about this for some time now as well. “I-When we lost our connection, it was really hard for me. Not just because I wasn’t as tough as I usually am, but because I lost one of the most important people in my life. You showed upon

and you turned my whole world upside down and I’m so much better off because of that. I used to think that I was just a guy and then you told me that I could be more than that. Maybe at first I didn’t want to believe you, but it got to the point where I wanted to prove you right.” Suddenly Duck realized something and what Indrid told him finally made sense. He didn’t know what to say next, scared of what might happen. And then it was like Minerva had read his mind.

“I believe that I am in love with you, Wayne Newton, and If what I have observed about human romantic behavior is correct then I believe that this is the point at which I should be asking you on a date.” Minerva’s cheeks were growing darker as she spoke.

“I would like that.” All at once Duck was, quite literally, swept off of his feet as Minerva pulled him into a bear hug. Smiled and looked up at her as they settled into something that was less like her hugging him and more like her carrying him bridal style. “And hey, guess what.”

“What, Wayne Newton?”

“I love you too, Minnie.”

#taz #taz amnesty #taz spoilers #minerva taz #duck newton #waynerva #mineruck #whatever the ship name is #text #fic

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alex-guerin · 6 years ago

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Everyone has a best friend, right? That one person they know they can always turn to, no matter what’s going on, what time of day or night it is. You need them, they’re there. If you get put in jail, they’re probably sitting right next to you grinning and going, “That was FUN!” That’s a thing people have, right? Most people have a best friend their entire lives. Some from as far back as grade school days; some from college onward; others are just internet besties...but still besties just the same, right?

I’m not one of those people.

I’m one of the Unlovables, I guess. Sure, I’ve had best friends and internet besties, but I am utterly incapable of keeping friends. My first “best friend” was apparently a lack-of-options friendship. I was the only little girl the same age as the girl who lived kiddie-corner from my grandma, so it was more a, “Yeah, I guess Alyssa can come over to play....” situation. Kiki never wanted to come over to play with me, I always had to go over there. From their, my next best friend, looking back on things, was absolutely horrible to me. She lived two miles down the road from me and would constantly make fun of me -- going so far as to getting the whole school bus (my siblings included) to call me “Alyssa Marie Barney” ...to make fun of my last name Barnes, and the fact that like most young kids of my generation, I loved that big stupid purple dinosaur). By fifth grade she’d outgrown me and wanted nothing to do with me ever again. One best friend moved away and legit forgot all about me. When he moved back in high school, he claimed to remember all of our other friends from grade school...but said he didn’t remember me at all. The one bestie I thought would actually last, I fucked up and unwittingly pushed away thanks to my stupidity and having an online bestie. Online bestie got RL besties that lived much much closer to her, and we fought a lot over stupid shit until she finally stopped talking to me. To this day I’ve tried to message her or talk to her, she refuses to acknowledge me or answer me. All of my online besties eventually realize they have more fun doing other shit besides keeping me company and dealing with my bullshit and disappear on me. Or I manage to push them away, too.

I kinda gave up on having a bestie. I built up walls, told myself I was better off alone. Refused to get close to people because it was just easier than getting hurt again. For a few years it worked out great. I had a couple people I’d occasionally talk to, but no one I called a best friend.

Then a year and a half ago, I found myself talking non-stop to someone. Letting them in, dropping the walls, all that good shit. It felt so great having someone I foolishly let myself call a best friend. Of course, then I went and fucked that up too. Soon as I got approved to transfer to 1st shift f/c receiving, it was like a light switch flipped and I went from being a friend -- talking a lot/all the time, hanging out from time to time, getting real hugs and bright smiles when we’d see each other -- to being a co-worker. That’s it. If someone was wrong, if I was having a bad day, they’d ask me if I was ok, what was wrong. Now they just ignore me, don’t talk to me or acknowledge me if I’m having one of my off days. We use to spend hours texting each other about anything and everything. Now on the rare occasions my phone vibrates with a message from them, it’s 99% of the time about work. There’s literally no more hanging out -- every time I’ve asked, they’d have other plans or just wanted to go to bed after work, or the kids were coming over that weekend (and then sure as shit, Monday they’d mention how the kids never came over after all and I just sit there feeling like shit cuz that meant we could have hung out, but instead I left them alone figuring they had the kids and I don’t want to interrupt their time together).

What is wrong with me? Why don’t people want me? Why can’t I ever keep any fucking friendships? At one point today it hit me, that I could have left work without saying a word to anyone (because it was one of my bad days where I wanted to be left alone, but secretly I wanted them to notice me and come give me a REAL hug, instead of this one armed over the center console of my truck bullshit I get everyday when I drop them off at home, and try to make me laugh and smile like they use to) and nobody would have noticed. Until they realized nothing was getting put away anymore. If I just stopped coming into work, not many people would notice, and even fewer would actually be concerned. And anymore, the one I foolishly let myself think of as my best friend, would probably be one of the ones who wouldn’t be concerned.

It also occurred to me today, while I was lost in my own mind and solitude, that while I don’t actively want to die -- too cowardly to try and off myself, and good ol’ flight instincts would kick in if say a car came racing at me on the street one day -- but if I were ever to be diagnosed with a terminal illness, I think I’d be pretty calm and accepting of that. I’d probably just sit there and go, “Fuckin’ FINALLY!” I legit doubt that I’d try to fight it or beat it. I just don’t feel like I’ve got the will to fight like that, like I don’t have a reason to. Which sounds terrifying, but it’s true. Like, I don’t want to die, so please, nobody go contacting anyone cuz you’re scared I’m going to hurt myself or something, I just...don’t want to exist, if that makes sense?

...sorry...I’ll shut up now....

#personal log #aly whines again...

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karaokeadvice · 7 years ago

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Sing This Not That II: Even Better Karaoke for One & All

Today we revisit Sing This Not That, which started our career as karaoke advice columnists, with brand new, artist-specific suggestions. RIP, The Awl.

CYNDI LAUPER DON’T SING: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” DO SING: “Money Changes Everything”

We know, we know. Girls really do just wanna have fun! It’s a song AND a statement! I still have such a mixed reaction to the opening of this song. My brain is hardwired to go “yay!”, followed immediately by “really?? Come on.” Cyndi has such an amazing back catalog of choices--and you’d be much better off with any of them. If you’re after a fun loving 80’s Cyndi hit with a message, why not go for the bleaker (but still fun) “Money Changes Everything”? WORDS OF WISDOM, CL. Also, I can find zero proof of this online, but could that be Tom Petty singing backup?

WEEZER DON’T SING: “Buddy Holly” DO SING: “Island in the Sun”

What’s with these homies dissin’ my girl? Why do they gotta front? ENOUGH SAID, AMIRITE? Aside from the ridiculous beginning, “Buddy Holly“ is a fine song. It’s fine. However, any charm it has is sort of lost after the first chorus, and then it becomes a slog to the end. (Not helped by the fake-out ending, which I fall for every time, and could be hazardous at karaoke!) Allow me to recommend the similarly jangly but more enjoyable “Island in the Sun”. It has a light and fun “vacation” vibe but is also easily recognizable and just enough of a throwback to be interesting.

BON JOVI DON’T SING: “Livin’ on a Prayer” DO SING: “Blaze of Glory”

It’s tough. So tough. But I implore you to look past the fluffy-maned 80s Jon in favor of the 90s version (featuring a shorter hairstyle!). Also: Young Guns 2! Need I say more? I will anyway! “Livin’ on a Prayer” is super-predictable and tired. “Blaze of Glory” has all of the same fun recognition moments with none of the “not this old chestnut” audience eye-rolls.

AEROSMITH DON’T SING: “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” DO SING: “Cryin’”, “Amazing”, or “Crazy”

I actually do want to miss a thing when someone steps up to the mic to sing this gem from the hit movie Armageddon. In fact, I want to miss the entire thing. Not that I don’t love a Diane Warren-penned power ballad, but it’s just...so...loooong. And boring. Please mix it up by singing a song of your choice from the Alicia Silverstone trilogy. And let’s face it, they all sound the same! So it doesn’t even matter which one you choose! Bonus points for “Crazy”, which also features a Liv Tyler tie-in (if that’s something you need).

PRINCE There are no bad choices.

?????? DON’T SING: “Friends In Low Places” DO SING: “Lost In You”

“Friends in Low Places” is a karaoke classic and it tends to divide people. Some people grimace when the unmistakable opening strikes on up, perhaps ordering a fresh drink to help weather the oncoming Storm of Garth, while others roar their approval and leap to their feat, already ready to sing along with all their might to the iconic chorus. I fall into the second group, but I understand the first.

I can’t help but love “Friends in Low Places”; as a scholarship kid to two separate private educational institutions, I have certainly related to the lyric “I guess I was wrong/I just don’t belong/but then I’ve been there before” and have wanted to tell more than one person who assumed that I “summered” in New Hampshire rather than just, you know, live there year-round to “kiss my ass.” BUT, I am also aware that a lot of people who love and relate to “Friends in Low Places” called me a dyke in fifth grade and made endless fun of me for liking to read. It’s a balance. Most of us know the struggle to acknowledge and appreciate different aspects of ourselves and to recognize that we’re not just one thing, one trait, one bit of shorthand that the rest of the world uses to describe us. Perhaps no one knows it better than Garth Brooks, who in 1999 performed an extremely dramatic and bizarre experiment when he introduced the world to his alter ego, Chris Gaines.

By 1999, Garth Brooks was a household name. The year before, he released the best-selling live album of all time, Double Live. Perhaps more significantly, his 1997 album Sevens featured a cover of the Bob Dylan song “To Make You Feel My Love” which was not only a #1 country hit, it reached #8 on the Adult Contemporary charts. Was that when he started wondering about other selves, other possibilities? Did he feel as if he had conquered country and had so much more to give but wondered how he could do it as Garth Brooks, a name and persona synonymous with country music? Is that how Chris Gaines came to be?

Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks’s pop star alter ego.

Chris Gaines was supposed to be a character in a movie that never came to be: The Lamb, a biopic about “a fictional rock singer and his emotionally conflicted life as a musician in the public eye.” Garth Brooks went all method and started appearing as Chris Gaines in such places as a mockumentary on VH-1’s Behind the Music and, perhaps most infamously, on Saturday Night Live, where Garth Brooks was the host and Chris Gaines was the musical guest. One sketch involved Tracy Morgan confronting Garth Brooks and complaining about Chris Gaines possibly “smoking meat cigars” among other incredibly 1999 insults, at one point coming right out and saying “I don’t need to hear him sing to know I don’t like it. I just find him bizarre.”

Tracy Morgan spoke for the public as a whole; Brooks tried to be in on the joke, but the joke was too powerful. The Lamb never materialized. Chris Gaines made just one album, but despite all the teasing and bewilderment, The Life of Chris Gaines produced a Top 40 single, which Brooks had never done before and hasn’t done since: “Lost In You.” It’s not bad. Kinda sounds like Richard Marx. Slap on a soul patch and give it a go at karaoke. Karaoke is about celebrating and accepting alter egos, not “kicking the shit” out of them, which is how Brooks described his treatment regarding Chris Gaines when someone called into Larry King in 2013 and asked if he’d ever revisit the character. Do it for Garth Brooks. Do it for all of us who want to be someone else sometimes.

#cyndi lauper #weezer #bon jovi #aerosmith #prince #garth brooks #chris gaines

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 7 years ago

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Likeness - Bucky x Reader One-shot

A/N: I don’t know what the hell happened here. Apparently my new coping mechanism for anxiety is writing Bucky Barnes fanfiction. Anyways this story took like 18 different directions while I was writing it. I mad delete this in the light of day but for now I hope you enjoy it.

Title: Likeness

Summary: Reader is an empath/can remove emotions from people but can’t make them feel things. She and Bucky grow close due to them being insomniacs/night owls together. Sam and reader are best friends (glossed over) and he encourages her to come to movie night with the team. Nat knows you have a thing for Bucky and for Sebastian Stan because you’ve been watching the movie the Covenant (2006) on repeat. So she picks that movie and you have no poker face. Anyways, hope you enjoy.

Rating: T

Warnings: vague mentions of dark emotions (nothing too specific), gets a little heated at the end (nothing too serious), i kinda dump on the Covenant (but in all reality I am a sucker for that movie and everyone in it)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Word count: 2,465

Your ability to remove emotional energy was what got you an invitation to the Avengers initiative.

At first you kept to yourself, overwhelmed by the high emotions in the tower. Bucky was the same way when he first returned from Wakanda. The two of you often bumped into each other at odd hours of the day and night. You usually respected each other’s space, just offering a nod of acknowledgment or a mumbled hello. Over time, you began to wait for one another late at night. On good nights you would retire to your room or his and watch movies or listen to music or talk until you fell asleep.

But some nights when the nightmares flooded his sleep and you found him gripping the kitchen counter, you would sit to his left and place your hand gently on his metal arm, siphoning the anxious energy that radiated off of him. Despite the anxiety and sorrow that sometimes rolled off of him, you enjoyed being with Bucky. He grounded you, at least when he wasn’t giving your stomach butterflies.

Sam was a totally different story. He immediately took a liking to you and did everything he could to get you to hang out with him. Most of the time, you were okay one on one. Sam had a lightness to him despite everything he had seen. You slowly became inseparable. After months of him plying you with your favorite foods and movies, you agreed to come down for a team movie night.

When you arrived, Sam was already situated in the recliner with a big bowl of popcorn. There was another sitting on the coffee table, and the popcorn machine was still hard at work.

“You finally made it,” he grinned, tossing you a beer from the cooler beside him.

“Hey, Sam. Thanks. So what are we watching tonight?”

“It’s Widow’s turn to pick.”

Right on cue, Natasha walked in with Steve and Clint. Wanda and Pietro followed directly behind. Steve grinned at you and you felt your stomach flutter. Anyone who said that Captain America’s smile didn’t make them swoon was a damn liar. But it was nothing compared to what you felt when Bucky cracked a smile, even if it wasn’t directed towards you.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N,” Steve said, patting the spot next to him on the couch.

Feeling more at ease, you smiled genuinely. “Me too.”

“So, Nat, what did you pick?” Wanda asked curiously.

“It’s this random B grade movie I found online one day. I haven’t seen it, but the reviews were pretty good.”

“What’s it called?”

“The Covenant.”

You tried to hold back the nervous giggle that escaped you, but you couldn’t help it. It bubbled past your lips and you ducked your head, mortified.

“Something you want to share with the class, y/n?” Sam asked in a lilting voice.

You glared at him.

“Nope, nothing at all. What’s the movie about, Nat?” You tried to sound casual but knew you were failing.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Nat challenged clearly enjoying herself. “You’ve clearly seen it.”

“It’s about these four guys who have magic powers and a fifth one who wants their power.”

“Is it any good?” Wanda asked, intrigued by the premise.

“It’s okay. I’ve only seen it once or twice,” you couldn’t hold back another embarrassed giggle as you lied.

“Riiight,” Sam drew out the word.

He wasn’t the only one who didn’t believe you, and you buried your head in your arms, occasionally letting out a giggle.

“Why does y/n sound like she’s a fourteen year old girl talking about her first crush?” Tony asked as he walked in with Bruce and Bucky.

Vision followed through the wall to her right.

“Miss y/l/n’s heart rate is elevated and her body is flushed. She seems to be experiencing both embarrassment and infatuation.”

“Vis, not helpful,” Wanda said sharply.

“My apologies,” the android remarked taking a seat next to Wanda.

You threw her a grateful smile anyways.

Sam and Nat seemed to put together what your reactions meant at the same time.

“Which one of them is it, y/n?” Sam asked, sitting up in the recliner.

You felt the couch dip next to you and looked over to Bucky who was watching everyone, but especially you in confusion.

“Which one of whom is what?” he asked.

“Which one of the four guys in the movie was y/n’s first crush?”

“None of them,” you answered honestly.

“Which one of the four guys in the movie is the reason you’ve seen it fifty-two times?” Nat asked pointedly.

It was only then that you realized that the battered DVD case she had brought down was yours. Nat had probably heard it playing on repeat in your room. Busted.

“Why don’t we just start the movie?” Cap suggested firmly.

You shot him a grateful smile and he rubbed soothing circles into your back. You thought you heard a low vibration from beside you, but decided to ignore it. Pulling on Steve’s calm, you focused on not giving yourself away.

Nat obliged and popped the DVD in and hit the lights.

The opening credits played and you really hoped no one else would notice which avenger one of the actors oh so closely resembled.

Your hope lasted all of four minutes. Surprisingly, it was Cap who realized it first. Well not so surprising in retrospect. He choked on his beer when Chase Collins came onto the screen.

“You okay, Cap?” you asked hitting him on the back a little more forcefully than necessary.

“I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe.”

Once everyone turned back to the movie, Cap looked at you with wide eyes, arching an eyebrow curiously. You sent him a pleading look that was met with an understanding nod and a mischievous smile.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms tightly around them, leaning your head on your forearms. You still didn’t feel small enough to avoid scrutiny. Steve lounged gracefully next to you, arm outstretched along the back of the couch. Bucky on the other hand sat with his elbows resting on his knees, watching intently.

Occasionally, the other team members would sneak a peek at you to gauge your reaction, but lucky for you never when he was on screen. An hour into the movie, Steve tugged you closer and wrapped an arm around your waist as he whispered in your ear.

You barely contained a squeak in surprise at his comment. Bucky was the only one who noticed the sound and turned, teasing smile in place, but it faded when he saw Steve’s hand on your waist. You felt the tension build in him next to you. Instinctively, you moved away from Steve towards Bucky, sliding your hand into his metal one and pulling away the feelings that plagued him. You could also feel Steve’s triumphant gloating beside you, but did your best to tune it out.

Bucky looked at you confused but content. You looked back at the television at the exact wrong moment. Chase was waiting by the pool to race, shirtless and you gulped audibly. Bucky turned to you with a shit eating grin, finally putting it together. He glanced at Steve who nodded, amused. You started to pull away, but he held your hand tighter.

Just before the movie ended, Bucky let go of your hand, stretching widely as the lights came on.

“That was actually not that bad,” Sam admitted, eyeing you.

“So, shall we vote on which of the four gets y/n’s motor running?” Tony teased.

Rolling your eyes, you unfurled yourself.

“All those in favor of the main tall brooding but sensitive archetype?”

Bruce and Vision raised their hands.

“All those in favor of the immediately adjacent, surprisingly even more brooding, but macho sidekick?”

Tony, Clint, and Pietro raised their hands.

“All those in favor of the sneaky, brooding, not as bad as he wants to be supporting character?”

No votes for that one, and you actually chuckled.

“And finally all those in favor of the generically attractive, only there so there could be four main guys supporting character?”

Sam raised his hand, surprised to be the only one.

“Oh come on,” Tony pouted, “You guys have to vote,” he whined at Natasha, Wanda, Steve, and Bucky.

“But you didn’t say our choice,” Natasha explained calmly.

You shot her and Wanda a betrayed look. Wanda just shrugged.

“Who? The blonde chick? I didn’t know you swung that way, y/n.”

“I was actually talking about the real bad boy.”

“That little dork on a power trip?” Tony asked in disbelief.

“Yup. All those in favor?”

You groaned as the four holdouts raised their hands.

“They were right? Really, y/n?” Sam asked incredulously.

All of them were smirking at each other.

“What do you all know that we don’t?” Clint asked Nat.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., give me a profile on the actor who played Chase Collins in the Covenant,” Tony ordered the A.I.

“Of course, boss. Chase Collins was played by actor Sebastian Stan. Known for his role in the TV shows Gossip Girl and Once Upon a Time. He was most recently in the news for being mistaken for…”

Sometimes you didn’t think the A.I. knew boundaries, but when she stopped reporting you realized you had been wrong.

“Mistaken for who, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony pressed.

“Bucky Barnes,” the A.I. reported.

You could almost sense the remorse in its tone.

“So that’s it,” Tony finally got it. “You’ve got a thing for the Winter Soldier.”

“And so what if I do?” You challenged, hoping your bravado would throw them off.

Luckily it did, mostly.

“Well, that would be okay,” Tony continued. “But I would be very curious about how the winter soldier feels.”

You felt panic, but you weren’t sure if it was yours or Bucky’s. You glanced over at Bucky who was glaring at Stark. You considered running away, but decided to stand your ground. Steve whether he knew it or not was lending you strength.

“How I feel about y/n, is between me and her,” Bucky stated sharply. “So butt out.”

Tony for once had the common sense to shut up.

“Well this is awkward,” Sam muttered a few moments later, “Movie night over.”

The team quickly disbanded after that. Bucky was the first to leave followed quickly by Steve. You stayed behind to clean up, despite Tony telling you his robot would do it. Once the room was back in order, you heaved a trash bag over your shoulder and headed for the trash shoot.

Still calming down about having your crush outed in front of everyone, you went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. You most definitely were not expecting to find Bucky there with a steaming mug waiting for you.

“Hey, y/n,” he cracked that smile that made your knees go weak.

“Hey, Bucky.”

“I thought you could use some hot chocolate.”

You couldn’t help but smile, settling onto the stool next to him.

“Thank you. I was just coming to make a mug.”

He let you sip your drink in comfortable silence, keeping his own mug of tea in hand.

“So, you must think this Sebastian Stan guy is pretty hot considering how much of a giggling mess you were earlier.”

His tone was light, teasing, and you decided to go with it rather than get upset.

“What can I say? The smile, the body, swoon.”

You swore you heard him mutter something about being buffer than him.

“What was that?”

“So the smile? That’s what does it for you?” He was no longer teasing. You felt sadness and uncertainty wash over him.

Throwing caution to the wind you decide on the truth.

“Yeah. Sebastian Stan’s smile reminds me of yours. That’s why I like him so much.”

Whatever the super soldier had been prepared to hear, it wasn’t that. His eyes flew open and he stared at you.

“So you like him because he reminds you of me?” he asked to clarify.

“Well, yeah. What did you think?”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously, he chuckled.

“Well, I kind of thought that you liked me because I reminded you of him… I know I don’t smile much.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, but you stopped short when you saw his face. Turning so you could fully face him you took both of his hands in yours.

“Bucky, I like you. And yes, I love your smile. But I know right now that it takes a lot for that smile to come out, but that just makes it even more special to me. Every time I see you smile, everything around me feels lighter. And even when you aren’t smiling, being around you grounds me.”

“I feel the same way. I know sometimes you have to use your powers on me, but most of the time I feel better the second I’m with you. And I love your smile.”

He gently kissed one hand and then the other.

“And the way you blush.”

He leaned in closer, and suddenly you knew the butterflies weren’t just yours. He stopped millimeters away from your mouth.

“May I?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

He closed the distance and for the first time you were kissing Bucky Barnes, and nothing else mattered. When he pulled back, there was a flood of emotions, both yours and his and it was enough to make you light headed. Noticing you swaying, Bucky swept you off the stool and carried you to the couch, settling you so your head was in his lap.

“I guess I haven’t lost my touch,” He commented with a smirk.

“Swoon,” you snarked back, though the effect was ruined by your panting.

Bucky smiled down at you, brighter than you’d ever seen and the buzzing, thrumming cacophony in your soul quieted. He stroked your hair gently as you stared up at him. You noticed when a flicker of curiosity passed over his gaze.

“What?”

“What did Steve say to you earlier?”

You laughed a little, but still blushed embarrassedly.

“He said that I had good taste in guys, but he didn’t think you’d cut your hair that short any time soon.”

“Do you want me to cut my hair, y/n?”

“I don’t think so. It be a lot harder to do this…” You grinned, sitting up and tangling your hands in his dark hair and tugging his mouth closer.

You stopped a hair’s breadth away from his lips.

“May I?”

“Anytime you want,” he whispered, before closing the distance. His hands settling in on your hips.

As his lips moved to your neck and you tugged on his hair, you made a mental note to never let him cut hair shorter than this.

A/N: So there you go, anxiety induced ramblings. Hope it was good for someone. Thanks for reading!

#Bucky x Reader #Bucky barnes #one-shot

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

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Here’s What The Stars Of The Internet’s Most Famous Memes Look Like In 2018

Since its inception in 1990, the World Wide Web – invented by computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee – has revolutionized humanity. We now shop online, order take-out online, study online, look through photo albums online, make travel arrangements online, game online, talk, gawk, and stalk online!

In fact, I couldn’t imagine having to do so many daily tasks without the internet. I wouldn’t have survived university by actually reading books, and I could never get through my Christmas shopping without Amazon. But perhaps the biggest change is the way we communicate with one another.

From email to MSN to MySpace to Skype to Facebook – it is now easier than ever to start a conversation with somebody on the other side of the planet. Social Media has allowed us to chat with our friends and family, keep up-to-date their lives, and even plan parties and events without sending one thing in the post. It’s truly made the world a smaller place.

And following the rise of social media in the noughties, we have seen many “trends” come and go – with some becoming iconic, and others more… moronic. For example, everybody out there now converses using emojis, and every year people genuinely get excited to see what new emojis the next updates will bring (here’s looking at you redheads). We’ve seen positive challenges, such as the Ice Bucket Challenge, raise millions for charity, and we’ve also seen a slew of idiots eat detergent in the Tide Pod Challenge.

But if there’s one thing that has stayed around far longer than anybody would have ever imagined, it is the humble meme. If you’re truly out of the loop, a meme is defined as “an image, video, piece of text, etc, typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by Internet users, often with slight variations”.

Basically, they’re funny pictures and videos of relatable things, often with a funny caption. And over the years, the subjects within these memes have become unintentional celebrities… for doing absolutely nothing except having a sharable expression. Now, we’re taking a look at these very modern stars have changed since being immortalized on the web.

1. Success Kid (Sam Griner)

Never before has a child epitomized the feeling of success more than Sam Griner. After his mom, Laney Griner, uploaded the picture to Flickr in 2007 (yes, it really was that long ago), she never thought she would have turned her young son into a viral star.

Sam was actually trying to eat the sand when the picture was taken, and Laney originally captioned the image ‘I Hate Sandcastles’, but his triumphant expression soon transformed him into the ‘Success Kid’.

2. Side-Eyeing Chloe (Chloe)

In one of my favorite videos on YouTube, Chloe and older sister Lily are surprised by their parents with a trip to Disneyland. However, whilst Lily starts to cry in delight when the camera pans to Chloe, she stares straight into the lens with a “WTF is going on?” expression. It is hilarious.

Amazingly, Chloe’s expression transformed her into “Sid- Eyeing Chloe”, the perfect meme for when people wanted to express their unimpressed disbelief to whatever was going on in the world.

3. Disaster Girl (Zoe Roth)

She could have been a cast member from Village of the Damned with that demonic expression. However, a young Zoe Roth was not taking sick pleasure in the destruction of a house she had just burned to the ground, she was just enjoying a training drill by the local fire department two blocks away from her home in Mebane, North Carolina.

The picture was taken all the way back in 2004 by her father, Dave Roth, and now that Zoe is looking to complete college, she said: “I’d love for the meme to help me get into or pay for college somehow. But I ultimately want people to know me for me.”

4. Trying To Hold A Fart Next To A Cute Girl In Class (Michael McGee)

On March 2, 2014, Redditor aaduk_ala submitted a humorous picture titled, ‘Trying to hold a fart next to a cute girl in class’ to the /r/funny subreddit. It wasn’t long before his strained expression was seen across all of social media.

When asked whether he had any regret about his unexpected fame, McGee responded: “My take on being ‘internet famous’ is cool and all. But I regret not copyrighting the picture right away because I could have made a lot of money there!” Ironically, his expression would be my face if I were to discover that I could have made thousands of dollars by copyrighting one silly picture.

5. Scumbag Steve (Blake Boston)

I have so many personal memories of using this meme whilst at college. In fact, I became a “Scumbag Steve” after waking up my dorm friend every two weeks at 6 am because I needed to use his printer.

The first known time this image was posted on Reddit was January 21, 2011, and it wasn’t long before a commenter in the Reddit thread identified the young man in the pic as Blake Boston (also known as “Weezy B.”)

In an interview with Know Your Meme, Blake revealed that the picture was originally taken by his mother. “I have no regrets in my life… no matter what I do. I can completely f**k up on something and I still don’t regret it. Because at the end of the day, that makes me who I am, so I wouldn’t go back and erase anything, if I were to go back in time.” I think we can all agree that Weezy B. is a very cool guy…

6. Overly Attached Girlfriend (Laina Morris)

Back in 2012, Justin Bieber asked his dedicated followers to enter an online sing-off competition in order to promote his celebrity perfume ‘Girlfriend’. In response to this, YouTuber Laina Morris uploaded a simplistic webcam video in which she performed a parody version of Justin Bieber’s single ‘Boyfriend’, with her own personalized lyrics.

Morris’ over-the-top expressions immediately led to her face being used to symbolize the ‘Overly Attached Girlfriend’, but sadly, she did encounter several issues regarding her fame: “Strangers were finding my personal Facebook page and talking to my friends. They were finding where I worked and trying to access my college records”.

7. Good Luck Charlie (Mia Talerico)

Actress Mia Talerico’s exaggerated “I don’t know” face from an episode of Disney’s Good Luck Charlie has taken comments sections by storm. And thanks to her charismatic acting, the nine-year-old now has over 1 million followers on Instagram.

I’m 26 and have under 400. Where did it all go wrong?

*I don’t know*

8. Bad Luck Brian (Kyle Craven)

Fake News! Did you know that the guy in the picture is not actually called Brian? His name is Kyle Craven. Used to symbolize bad luck, the very first use of Craven’s image was first posted on January 23, 2012, by his long-time friend, along with the caption “Takes driving test .?.?. gets first DUI.”

9. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy (Zeddie Little)

I think we can all agree that we have never looked this good whilst exercising. When I’m at the gym, my expression closely resembles that of when I’m perched on the toilet.

However, Zeddie Little, AKA “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy”, was snapped running in the 2012 Cooper River Bridge Run whilst looking impeccable. Literally better than I’ve ever looked in my life.

When asked about his newfound fame, Little responded: “I really don’t know, but I kinda feel honored to be part of a joke that’s in good spirit because sometimes the Internet can be a little vicious or jokes can get bent the wrong way. But these are all kinda, for the most part, positive. It’s funny that everybody is kinda taking like to it. It’s, I guess, the most flattering way to get spread across the Internet.”

10. Ermahgerd (Maggie Goldenberger)

For those of you out of the loop, “ermahgerd” is a rhotacized pronunciation of “oh my God”, in order to recreate the speech of a nerd (sorry Maggie).

This meme first emerged on March 14, 2012, along with the caption: “Just a book owners smile…”. The girl in the meme, Maggie Goldenberger, said that the picture was created in fourth or fifth grade when she and her friends seriously got into playing dress-up. It’s good to see she’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing, because I can think of about 734 pictures of me from high school that could have been used in the exact same way, and it would have destroyed my life.

11. Grumpy Cat

There’s a face only a mother can love.

Grumpy Cat – the appropriate nickname given to Tardar Sauce – is an always-moody-looking snowshoe cat that rose to fame after several pics of her annoyed facial expressions were posted to Reddit in September 2012. According to Huffington Post, Grumpy Cat now has a reported net worth of $100 million! That’s right, this cat has more money than you ever will.

12. First World Problems (Silvia Bottini)

Amazingly, this is no bog-standard stock-image model. Silvia Bottini is actually a relatively successful Italian actress.

13. Blinking White Guy (Drew Scanlon)

This perfect GIF originally came from a live stream shot back in 2013, when Drew Scanlon was a video producer at the popular gaming website Giant Bomb.

During one of the team’s weekly “Unprofessional Fridays” shows, Scanlon watched as the editor-in-chief played Starbound, a two-dimensional action-adventure game.

However, things got a little awkward when Gerstmann said: “So I’ve been doing some farming… with my hoe.” Scanlon reacted with the bewildered expression now known as the “Blinking White Guy”.

14. Hipster Barista (Dustin Mattson)

Even though this meme has become more appropriate for every year it has existed, it was originally uploaded to in August 2011! However, the guy in the picture, Dustin Mattson, has not seen the funny side:

“I do find it discouraging and disappointing that there was so much exposure brought to an attempt at making a joke of a culinary industry and the professional barista. To me, it’s very telling on how we laud farm-to-table food, craft beer, cocktail mixology, but it’s ok to have no respect for the specialty coffee world and the people who are committed to it. On the other hand, the whole thing only makes me want to work harder at my job, make better coffee, serve my customers better, and bring more positive exposure to both the company I work for, the barista profession, and specialty coffee as a whole. If anyone were to see my and my coworkers’ work in the café, they’d see that it doesn’t quite match up to most of the jokes made against the ‘Hipster Barista’.”

15. Doge

I’m just going to put this out there: I love Doge.

Back in February 2010, a Japanese kindergarten teacher called Atsuko Sato posted several photos of her rescue-adopted Shiba Inu dog Kabosu to her personal blog – it is something we have all done. However, unlike with me and my Yorkshire terrier, Sato’s photos went viral and the world fell in love with the side-eyed confused pup. The best of boys!

So there you have it! And although so many of these unintentional internet celebrities have changed so much since their images were originally posted to the web, there’s no doubt we’ll always remember them for the hilarious memes they spawned.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/heres-what-the-stars-of-the-internets-most-famous-memes-look-like-in-2018/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/184330360477

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

Text

Here’s What The Stars Of The Internet’s Most Famous Memes Look Like In 2018

1. Success Kid (Sam Griner)

2. Side-Eyeing Chloe (Chloe)

Amazingly, Chloe’s expression transformed her into “Sid- Eyeing Chloe”, the perfect meme for when people wanted to express their unimpressed disbelief to whatever was going on in the world.

3. Disaster Girl (Zoe Roth)

4. Trying To Hold A Fart Next To A Cute Girl In Class (Michael McGee)

5. Scumbag Steve (Blake Boston)

6. Overly Attached Girlfriend (Laina Morris)

7. Good Luck Charlie (Mia Talerico)

I’m 26 and have under 400. Where did it all go wrong?

*I don’t know*

8. Bad Luck Brian (Kyle Craven)

9. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy (Zeddie Little)

I think we can all agree that we have never looked this good whilst exercising. When I’m at the gym, my expression closely resembles that of when I’m perched on the toilet.

However, Zeddie Little, AKA “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy”, was snapped running in the 2012 Cooper River Bridge Run whilst looking impeccable. Literally better than I’ve ever looked in my life.

10. Ermahgerd (Maggie Goldenberger)

For those of you out of the loop, “ermahgerd” is a rhotacized pronunciation of “oh my God”, in order to recreate the speech of a nerd (sorry Maggie).

11. Grumpy Cat

There’s a face only a mother can love.

12. First World Problems (Silvia Bottini)

Amazingly, this is no bog-standard stock-image model. Silvia Bottini is actually a relatively successful Italian actress.

13. Blinking White Guy (Drew Scanlon)

This perfect GIF originally came from a live stream shot back in 2013, when Drew Scanlon was a video producer at the popular gaming website Giant Bomb.

During one of the team’s weekly ��Unprofessional Fridays” shows, Scanlon watched as the editor-in-chief played Starbound, a two-dimensional action-adventure game.

14. Hipster Barista (Dustin Mattson)

15. Doge

I’m just going to put this out there: I love Doge.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/heres-what-the-stars-of-the-internets-most-famous-memes-look-like-in-2018/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/04/21/heres-what-the-stars-of-the-internets-most-famous-memes-look-like-in-2018/

0 notes

allofbeercom · 6 years ago

Text

Here’s What The Stars Of The Internet’s Most Famous Memes Look Like In 2018

1. Success Kid (Sam Griner)

2. Side-Eyeing Chloe (Chloe)

Amazingly, Chloe’s expression transformed her into “Sid- Eyeing Chloe”, the perfect meme for when people wanted to express their unimpressed disbelief to whatever was going on in the world.

3. Disaster Girl (Zoe Roth)

4. Trying To Hold A Fart Next To A Cute Girl In Class (Michael McGee)

5. Scumbag Steve (Blake Boston)

6. Overly Attached Girlfriend (Laina Morris)

7. Good Luck Charlie (Mia Talerico)

I’m 26 and have under 400. Where did it all go wrong?

*I don’t know*

8. Bad Luck Brian (Kyle Craven)

9. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy (Zeddie Little)

I think we can all agree that we have never looked this good whilst exercising. When I’m at the gym, my expression closely resembles that of when I’m perched on the toilet.

However, Zeddie Little, AKA “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy”, was snapped running in the 2012 Cooper River Bridge Run whilst looking impeccable. Literally better than I’ve ever looked in my life.

10. Ermahgerd (Maggie Goldenberger)

For those of you out of the loop, “ermahgerd” is a rhotacized pronunciation of “oh my God”, in order to recreate the speech of a nerd (sorry Maggie).

11. Grumpy Cat

There’s a face only a mother can love.

12. First World Problems (Silvia Bottini)

Amazingly, this is no bog-standard stock-image model. Silvia Bottini is actually a relatively successful Italian actress.

13. Blinking White Guy (Drew Scanlon)

This perfect GIF originally came from a live stream shot back in 2013, when Drew Scanlon was a video producer at the popular gaming website Giant Bomb.

During one of the team’s weekly “Unprofessional Fridays” shows, Scanlon watched as the editor-in-chief played Starbound, a two-dimensional action-adventure game.

14. Hipster Barista (Dustin Mattson)

15. Doge

I’m just going to put this out there: I love Doge.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/heres-what-the-stars-of-the-internets-most-famous-memes-look-like-in-2018/

0 notes

nyansjourney · 5 years ago

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Hey, adulthood

It’s been a quite long time since the last time I wrote properly, and before my 19th birthday officially ends, I want to put some of my feelings into words.

I was always hyped about my birthday. Back when I was 10 or so, I even countdown until the day and informed everyone about it, I love being noticed, receiving attention from everyone, to feel special once a year, who doesn’t want such thing?

Then, in my fifth grade, it was almost my birthday when I had a fight with a classmate, and as kids, we snitched. That boy told his mom and she came to our class, confronted me about the issue between us, our main teacher also did the same to me, right on my 11th birthday, I cried, right from after class until home.

The next year, I was being discriminated, because I was gay (actually I still am) and on my 12 birthday, that bullying kid pushed me to my limit, he made harsh jokes. I asked, or should I say, begged, my friends to help me, but it seemed they didn’t bat an eye. I cried, again, on my birthday, all the way from school to home.

Even though all these years I had my family with me, things went the way I never wanted. I started to expect less about my birthday, avoid telling other people about it, some years I was kinda sure I would break down crying just like that two consecutive years so I kept my birthday a secret.

Until the senior year of high school, I had a crush on this cute guy and we became kinda close, sometimes he asked me about my birthday and I told him quite a lot that it was March 2nd. He was a really important person to me so of course I expected him to know about it and wish me something. I ended up getting nothing at all, not a word about my birthday, he said hi to me when we met, and that was all that we talk on my 18th birthday, a meaningful milestone to anyone. The day after my 18th birthday was the day our class took pictures for our yearbook, so I spent my whole birthday preparing with my classmates, we had some talks, got to know each other better, many things that I love, but I still felt empty.

Today, I didn’t expect anything, at all. People say the more you expect the more disappointing you’ll be so I set my expectation as low as possible. I deactivated my Facebook account yesterday so no one would know about it. Waking up today, I felt completely normal, do everything I normally do (this year has the longest Tet vacation because of coronavirus, so today I stay at home). At 10, I went to the Van Don bridge, got myself some fresh oceanic air, enjoyed the view there and went home. The tranquility filled me. Unfortunately, my parents had a small fight this noon so I was quite uncomfortable because it is my birthday and I don’t want any fight, especially between my parents. They made up about 1-2 hours later so it was not a big deal. I got an excellent character in my game later in the afternoon, shouted in happiness. And my crush from last year, this time, he remembered, he called me and said happy birthday to me, we had some chit chat and suddenly I felt so loved. At 5, I went for another trip all around my hometown, just my thing because I love this place so much. I went home at 6, prepared for dinner, featuring my favorite dish made by mum. Tonight there was supposed to be an online meeting of my club but something happened so we turned it into a talking session. I played PUBG with my friends and will probably end my day with this post.

See, this ended my teenage years and welcomed me to my adulthood. Things are gonna get crazier than it has. I said to myself I can’t cry anymore unless it is for my family. SO I HOPE, even though bad things will probably happen on my next birthdays, I will be strong enough to receive them and continue my way.

Happy birthday to you, Quan.

#birthday nyan nineteenth teenagers nineteen adulthood

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van-gogh-away-00-blog · 6 years ago

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The creative process

Tw: self harm, suicidal thoughts, and alcohol addiction mentions

I’m not a super huge fan of getting personal on public social media stuff. I have two vent accounts and a therapist for a reason. But I do feel like I’m at a point where I can open up, and give people some queues as to why I’m focusing so much on such an obscure topic.

I’ve been creative and doing art for as long as I can remember, and I decided I wanted to do art as a career in about fifth grade. I knew I wanted to be a concept artist by the time I was in eighth, and my dream hasn’t changed since. However, to bless me on my creative journey, I was given the great genetic gift of depression and anxiety, which had only started to become prevalent in 3rd grade via the wonders of elementary school bullying.

By the time I was in 7th grade, and the bullying had started again, I became suicidal, and wanted to self harm. My self esteem was nonexistent, and I just wanted to die. I tried to draw it out, as drawing seemed to be my only escape, but to no avail. I just wanted to sit around and cry. Luckily, I managed to dig myself out of that pit, and enjoy the rest of my middle school career.

High school is when things got really bad though, and I realized there was a serious issue at hand. I started 9th grade with a handful of friends, confused sexual orientation, and a love for art. Everything started out fine. I drew everywhere I went, and my 6th period art class felt like an escape. I noticed that my friends started to cast me out a little bit, but it didn’t bother me too much. They had their own conversations to carry out.

By the end of the second semester, I was left friendless, and in the wake of some of the worst choices I’ve made. I figured out I was gay, and started dating someone that was hardly at school due to drug use. I joined an online friend group, and due to my nice nature was immediately used and drained of all my energy. I had people, but I felt alone. Things just got worse.

Near the end of the year, I’d started getting distant with my girlfriend, and moved on to someone I’d seemed to connect with in my online group. She was dating someone else, and as soon as that person found out she was interested in me, she faked a suicide attempt and blamed it on me. I was so shaken up, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I could use art to help me cope either, because I was so flooded with school work, and just didn’t have the motivation. I just wanted to die.

Once that was worked out and all hard feelings were put aside, I got into a relationship with the girl that shared mutual feelings with me besT the end of that year. Things started well, we Skyped since it was long distance, and texted all day. It started getting bad a few weeks in. If I tried to spend time with my family or friends, she’d threaten to cheat on me, or be completely upset with me. This roped me into 10+ hour skype calls, and the inability to go without an hour texting her.

She ended up cheating on me several times, and said it needed to be done so the people she’d date aside from me wouldn’t kill themseleves, or something along those lines. She dated two of my friends, and it was all right in front of my face. Our relationship wasn’t important. I let it continue, and just felt more and more depressed. But I was in love, right?

My art was all centered towards her. Anything I drew was for her. I didn’t have a chance to do anything for myself. It reached a tipping point in the middle of the summer when one of my friends said something negative to her as a joke. She immediately took offense, and got on skype with me to talk. There, she faked an overdose and suicide attempt, on camera, with me there. I was devastated, and wondered if I should do the same. I was home alone, so it was doable. She ended the call and I went to sleep. The next morning, she was fine. Shocker.

She broke up with me, and kept the relationship ship off and on until I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. I got into two short term, but pleasant relations ships afterwards, and kinda forgot about that torment. Art became an escape again. That was until I started dating again.

The relationship I got into was the best and worst thing to happen to me. I was so invested and in love with this girl in 11th grade. I drew for her, bought her whatever she wanted, and just loved her with everything I had. It was emotionally exhausting sometimes, but it was worth it. I was so into her, I didn’t realize I neglected my friends, or was absolutely brainwashed into being a hateful bitch. I’d shit talk people I didn’t even know, and side with her without question.

She got my current best friend into serious trouble, and drove some other people to problematic mental situations as well. Always drama, at whatever cost. She grew tired of me, or realized how much of a threat I was to her power given how much her friends liked me, and broke up with me. This of course happened at one of my worst art crises in my life. I couldn’t even pick up a pencil without getting frustrated. She completely exiled me when I said I wouldn’t take her to prom. She couldn’t go any other way, but it was too much of a burden for me.

Left friendless and drained in all senses, I just took depression naps and cried whenever I was awake. Homework was my only Vice for a while. After a month, April 12th, 2017 to be exact, I picked up self harm, and an avid alcohol addiction the same week. It got to the point by mid May, I wasn’t able to go a day without either cutting or drinking. Or both. Drawing wasn’t effective. I could draw out my paint, I could draw something that made me happy, but it didn’t work. I was genuinely scared I was going to kill myself.

The funny thing was, no matter how much I told my mom I needed therapy, or help, without saying I was self harming, she shrugged it off. I wasn’t visibly suffering, therefore, I was ok.

I got put into therapy once my best friend called my mom in tears after seeing how deep my cuts were getting, and how close to fatal they could be. Things were good for a while. I was still drinking, art helped here and again. I was super focused on my portfolio by the time 12th grade rolled around. Self harm sort of died down to once a month, but picked up in severity as months passed. I’d started doing it on my shoulders and thighs to avoid suspicion, and cover anything I did on my arm with bandaids. I was clean until January. So about five months? It got bad when portfolio season really picked up.

I had another art breakdown, and couldn’t so much as look at a paper without having a panic attack. I’d cry in my closet, and turn to either drinking, or cutting. I had exacto blades this time, so the damage lasted a little longer than a cheap, dull, papercutter. It was easier for me to turn to that, and again, I couldn’t open up to my therapist without her telling my parents, and they’d probably send me off to a mental hospital if they found out. Maybe it’d be easier if I just offed myself was my thought.

I told my therapist I had suicidal thoughts, and she told my parents. They put me in boxing, as my therapist recommended, and that helped for a while. I was doing that and drawing again, only really drinking. I got into another relationship in April. I totally fell for this girl, way too hard even. I noticed something was off when she wouldn’t stop talking about her ex-boyfriend, and I couldn’t talk to her about any of my problems without being shrugged off, but I didn’t let the bug me too much. I had one serious self harm episode in that time, but it didn’t equate to what happened after. She broke up with me two days after prom, a month into being together, and I just lost it. I couldn’t trust anyone, my anxiety was so, so bad, and my depression just sort of took over.

I got the drunkest I’d ever been in my life that night, and self harmed for the first time in a month. I blacked out, and woke up for senior picnic extremely depressed and hungover. My depression worsened from that point, and so did my addictions. I couldn’t vent, because I had so much portfolio work to do. But even when that was done, art just didn’t do it. Painting, markers, sketching, nothing. I graduated, celebrated my birthday, and just existed.

I told my mom I needed medication, and she just said they make you feel nothing. I told this to her for months. I wanted to keep the stability I had. But I still wasn’t taken seriously.

I got to a point where I was only breaking down once a week, under no stress really. I just felt as though I was a failure. Nobody loved me, I was horrible, and I’d amount to nothing. Those thoughts plagued me. They still do. I’d heavily disassociate, and just want to feel. How’d deal with that? I’d drink. Every. Single. Time. Anxiety? That means vodka. Depression? Yeah bottoms up. I’d drink about a water glass full of vodka, and chase it with a wine cooler or two once or twice a week. I’d have cocktails, wine, or wine coolers every other night.

Cutting became a daily occurance when school picked up again. Near the end of September, I’d be able to finish a pack of wine coolers in a week, and vodka was like water. Art. Didn’t. Help. I didn’t feel creative. Everytime I ached, I loathed, I felt disassociated, I’d hurt myself somehow. Because I can’t work when I can’t even sit still.

I had suicidal thoughts every day at one point. By the last two weeks of September and the beginning of October, I was writing suicide notes in the back of my head, and googling ways to die. Ways I’d be able to carry out easily. I told my therapist, and she talked to my parents. My alcohol privileges and exacto knife and blades were stripped from me. I’m so glad they were. I was put on medication the following Monday, and finally taken seriously.

Now, I’m medicated. I smoke weed to help with my anxiety here and again, since it doesn’t interfere with my medication. I’m the most creative and productive I’ve been in years. I feel my brain working, dusting off the cobwebs of my passion as it was. I can vent properly, and think, and feel even. Being stable and medicated has kept me from killing myself. And of course it’s not the end of my depression and anxiety, that still exists and I do feel down most days, but it’s not the extreme downs that were causing me to crave death.

I’m thankful I was fortunate enough to get this help. But, another issue is present that I’m gonna have to work out soon. I don’t work, and therapy costs around $130 a session. I go twice a month, and my medication is $20 a month or so. The total of my mental health stability is around $280 a month, with my garbage insurance. When I move out to go to art school, that’ll be my problem. And I’m not at all excited. I may just have to drop therapy completely.

This is why I want to bring awareness, an artist creativity isn’t attribute to pain, and I want to advocate for change. Artists, of all walks, deserve more help. They deserve to live longer than 30.

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foulfurywombat-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Why is my car insurance so much higher than my female counter part?

"Why is my car insurance so much higher than my female counter part?

This is such bullsh*t. I am 24 have had 0 accidents and 0 tickets. I am moving to another state and my Fing insurance is like $150 month. Then I talked to a female coworker my age with the same type of car and she has 2 speeding tickets her insurance is $137 a month. WTF? It is a known fact that almost all women are horrible drivers. Sure I guess males my age may do more reckless things but at least we have some Fing common sense. Women in todays society seem to lack this. Because they are never held accountable for any of their actions. O sweety you drank a fifth last night and banged some fat nasty guy well its not your fault its the guys fault. Sorry for the rant I just feel that my car insurance should be lower than hers because I have no tickets not higher anyone else agree?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Why should I have to pay for your health insurance?

An answerer on another question said, Do you have insurance? What of those who cannot afford it (my sister comes to mind, and she has a husband and two sons under age 18 years who are also not covered)? Medical care is extremely expensive and necessary. I'd much rather my tax dollars go toward a means of making insurance affordable to everyone than to fund an immoral war. Oh, and my sister and her husband have always worked very hard. Neither are fat, lazy bums who sit around all the time. Heck, my sister would love to have 10 minutes to herself, but can't take the time. * 20 minutes ago These people made a choice to have two children they cannot afford to insure. They had a responsibility to seek employment where they would have health insurance coverage for themselves and their two children. Or obtain insurance on their own. If they are healthy, it can be gotten at a rate comparable to what I pay through my work. I work two jobs. Both of my jobs, even the part-time job, offer me health insurance, so jobs with health benefits are not so hard to find. Why should I be made to pay for other people's poor choices? I have wants and needs, too, and it's MY money.""

Is there drivers insurance for infrequent drivers?

I'm currently in LA, and my family is here too. So, I've been an insured driver since I was 15, for the last 13 years... In August I will begin grad school in Boston, and will be without a car. But, perhaps during winter break, Thanksgivings, summer, I may return to LA to visit family and friends. I can easily borrow one of my parents' cars while I'm visiting, but I don't want to have to maintain car insurance year round for several hundred dollars just to drive a few times a year. Are there any reasonably priced options for someone in my situation? As far as I know, most car insurance terms are 6 months. Thank you!""

""Now that my license has no points on it, can the car insurance cost be reduced?""

I am with Tesco Insurance, my license did have points on it when I got my car insured but no that I have lost the points, do I have to wait out the 12month contract or is there the possibility that it can be reduced? I am guessing I have to wait it out. Something like that must have been mentioned in the T&A.""

Have lots of car insurance questions ?

hello had a car accident i am not in fault my medical bill are almost $100K the other party insurance accept its fault in the accident and it appears that they have full coverage if the insurance i have is the basic that covers $25K in medical bills so the other insurance tells me that there limit is $25K-$50K how can it be possible that it only covers $25K same as mine if she has full coverage and i don't?? Next question. How can i make the insurance or the lady that hit me to show me the policy??? is there anyway i can force them?? i have an attorney working on the case and he said that the insurance did not let them see the policy but i want to know and see the policy so i know that neither the insurance or my attorney is lying. next question from the accident i was really damage after 6 months I am still going to therapy I have proof of all my bills and doctors reports from all my illnesses in which I have deafness caused from the accident I had a head injury and was hospitalized for 5 days the docs had said that it was really a serious accident including my attorney. How much is fair to fight for pain and suffering, medical bills, compensation for hearing loss including seance of smell and taste, everything I have paid like taxis, pills and more. don't want to take advantage from the accident but how much can I fight for?? thank you for answering but please only answer if you know. this is very important for me.""

Anyone know pricing on auto insurance for a Cadillac CTS 2003?

Cheapest car to tax or insure?

what car is the cheapest to tax and insure ive been told its the vauxhall corsa

""Can I purchase a car, and tow it home without insurance?""

I want to purchase a car from a small car place, the man puts 30 day tags on it and mails the title to the DMV, but my father cant get off work to come put insurance on the car for me. So can I buy the car there, have the title put in my name, but have the car towed home and stored off the street until I can add it to insurance and get my own tags? or is it illegal to tow a car without insurance on it?""

Why is my car insurance so much higher than my female counter part?

What is the best way to get an insurance company to pay you what a car is worth?

My son was rear ended at a high rate of speed. He was pushed 6 feet into the car in front of him. The guy had to really be moving when he hit my son. He was driving a 1999 Chevy Lumina LS. The blue book value according to NADA is $5000. It only had 78,000 miles on the car. No rust on the body and overall in excellent shape. The insurance company offered me $3600 for the car. I can NOT find a replacement car in that shape for that price...""

Is there a way to borrow someone else's address for car insurance?

My friend lives in Los Angeles county and she is being charged $500 for a piece of paper that will be sent to her house address in Los Angeles. Can she use another address to receive that paper? Or does it have to be the house she lives at?

""A car has a minor accident found in the car proof, does it increase the insurance ?""

If I buy this car, is my insurance go up?""

Will my auto insurance be high if i was not insured before. even though i have my G1.?

Hello, I'm a 20yr old Male, and I'm planning on getting a used car ( 1999 - 2004 ) bellow $3000 CAD. The problem is that i was never insured before. I got my g1 on 2007, and my G at 2010. Most of those years i drove with my uncle beside me, because he worked close to my school. So I was wandering, how high will my insurance will be? considering the fact that i did not have any insurance and i'm a 20yr old male. I searched online for quotes and the lowest i got was 499 per month... I am a student, thus i'm only making around 450 - 600 a month doing part time job. And any suggesting on a car for a first timer is more than welcome. (colour, make, model, yr. etc. ) Thank you very much for reading this.""

Does the car appearance affect insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

Is someone who is only insured on their works car insurance ok to drive my car?

My sons girlfriend does not have a car, but claims that she has insurance through her work, so she is ok to drive my car? Am I right in thinking that this means she can only drive company cars, and not MY car?""

Could someone tell me what is needed to create a car insurance comparison website? Thanks?

Could someone tell me what is needed to create a car insurance comparison website? Which programs would i need to use and to create what part? Thanks for your time

Insurance for first time motorcycle driver?

I'm 16, female, & am looking at the Kawasaki Ninja 2009. I would be the primary owner, and I'm wondering whether the color of the motorcycle will affect the rate of insurance as well? Thank you!""

Car insurance questions?

1. if I have 5 years no claim bonus, can I use it on 2 different cars? different insurance companies 2. if my car insurance will ask for my no claim bonus will they return it or keep it? 3. lets say I bought a car for my dad, for his birthday but put my name as the owner of the car by mistake, can I just call DVLA to change the owner name before they send the documents to me? 4. which companies give no claim bonus for second driver? is it only Direct Line?""

I have a ??? about car insurance?

hey last saturday i wrecked my car...totaled. well i still owe about 3000 left on it so of course i had full coverage ins on it will ins company give you retail value or trade in value it was a 2000 stratus and i had about 109000 miles on it and have had a lot of work done on it i did have a cracked winshield that was not cause of the wreck about how much money am i looking at???

How old must you be to have classic car insurance?

is their any age you have to be for classic car insurance as i have been looking to buy a ford xr3i and i am 17

Auto Insurance Coverage - How much coverage should I buy?

Next week, I'll be switching to another auto insurance. My previous limits with another company were: -minimum MD state 20/40/15 for Bodily Injury, Uninsured Motorist, and property damage -PIP $2500 -250/500 for Comprehensive/Collision, had road service, towing, and rental. I don't have many assets. I'm a renter and I live from paycheck to paycheck. I have no accidents, no tickets, and no violations for the last 8 years. I'm a cautious driver. I drive a 2003 Honda Civic. The new insurance company is offering me $759/year for the limits 100/300/100 Bodily Injury Liability and matching for Uninsured Motorist + Property Damage, 250/500 for Comp/Coll, road service, towing, and rentals, PIP 2500. I've seen different answers that say 100/300/100 would be better for those who own a house and have a better income. What do you think is a recommended coverage going?""

If my dad is a co signer for a car will my insurance be cheap?

I'm 19 and its my first car and my dad is the co signer will my insurance be low? What are cheap insurance agencies for teenagers?

Where to find affordable complete health insurance?

i am looking fior affordable health insurance, like as in family. i am looking online, but so far have come up with nothing. they are dropping my insurance at work, so i need to find something. if i have to go online to find it, that is ok.""

Life Insurance questions?

Why do life insurance companies often charge different rates for males and females? Who pays more by age, male or female, and why do you think this is so? Come back later and respond to two other classmate's posts and answer any responses to yours.""

Car insurance for 18 year old male?

Hi I live in Windsor ON. And I need car insurance I have a 96' Ford Escort 4 door lx. Everywhere I have called has given me very high rates. Please help :)

Whats the cheapest place in rochester ny for car insurance?

im 18 with a permit and i want to put my 1988 audi quattro 90 on the road,,but i was wondering what would be the cheaest place in rochester ny to go to?""

The best health insurance?

im was wondering whats the best health insurance to get for some who is 19. someting that has eye vision to. i work but i dont have insurance from my job its along story so dont ask. i need something that is affordable. i live in southern california. any suggestions will do. this stuff is all confusing to me . copayment? or deductible? please help!!!

Car insurance rates in Ontario for new driver?

I plan to import my '01 Camry from USA to missisuaga. How much shd I expect to pay p.m. in car Insurance rates ? I have 3 yrs clean driving history in USA.Will my driving history in USA help with getting a better rate in canada ? Initially I will have only a US drivers license.Pls help shed light on my doubts .. Forgot to mention - I am married , age 30 yrs""

Car Insurance If I Am Not The Car Owner?

Is it possible for me to insure myself to drive my sister's car, and to add her as a named driver? Or do I have to own the car. My sister has just passed her test, and her insurance would cost 700 if she does it herself. If I insure myself to drive the car and add her as a named driver, then it would be more like 200. Does my sister have to sign over ownership of the car to me for this to work?""

What factors affect car insurance premiums?

My mom is going to give me her old car once she gets a new one, and she said insurance is about $100/mo. My friend asked what insurance would be and I told her, and she thought that was really low The car is a 1999 saturn SL1 and it's standard, is the insurance cheap for this car? My mom has a great driving record I'm now wondering what affects car insurance premiums? I know age, gender, driving records, and other stuff.. but what else?""

How much would a 2002 impreza wrx cost to insure?

Im 17( i know im about to get a bunch of your going to kill yourself! AHHHH!!!! i regularly drive my dads 05 mustang gt, i know how to responsibly control power) and me and my parents have found a great deal on a 2002 impreza sedan, it has 125k miles on it, and the last thing deciding factor before buying this vehicle is the insurance. We already have a mustang gt on the family plan, i live in VA, make all A's(supposed to give me a 30% discount), im male, the color is blue, with only a greddy bov aftermaket part installed. The car itself is blue, it is the turbod WRX version(not the sti), and has never been wrecked. We have state farm, im not sure as to what other information anyone would need to know, but im jusst looking for a rough estimate, thanks for any input.""

What affordable dental insurance covers ortho? Can you suggest any?

I am looking for affordable dental insurance that covers ortho. I'm 29 yrs old and interested in getting one. I do have dental insurance - HMO, (BLue Cross) does this cover ortho?""

Questiong regarding motorcycle insurance?

I was wondering since im 19 years old how much insurance would be? i have 0 tickets and 0 wrecks. Is it possible to get insurance for like a summer then stop paying it for the winter time when i wont be riding it?

Where can i find affordable life insurance for my 81 yr old granmother?

I live in Illinois, and I work for the UI, but im not sure if I can add my grandmother on my insurance...So Im trying to find somewhere that will take senior citizens, but something i ...show more""

Why is my car insurance so much higher than my female counter part?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-question-uk-caridade-ma"

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purplesurveys · 7 years ago

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111

#surveys #survey

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highguys · 8 years ago

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Ok so i feel like I need to start with why the past 6 months have been so hard for me. But it’s kind of a long story, so let me start with January 2015.

January 2015. One of my long time best friends was diagnosed with an eating disorder. But it’s an even longer story because I have to kind of preface the term best friend, because I kind of sucked. We all did. I’ve never really written down or said out loud this part of the story before because I feel so shitty about it but here i go.

I became friends with IM when we were in probably fourth or fifth grade, or whenever she joined my girl scout troop. Her and her two triplet sisters also went to my school but I wasn't ever in the same class as them I don't think except maybe once in third grade but we weren't really good friends (to this day they tell me i was a weirdo in elementary school and I tell them they were boys lol). So anyways I was friends with IM before i was friends with her sisters. IM was always kind of different than her sisters, she is fraternal while they are identical to each other. She kind of always struggled with this i think, I don't really know but at the same time i do, you know? She wasn't as athletically gifted and looked different from them and when they joined the tennis team in eighth grade after IM had been the only one on it in seventh grade, she felt like her thing had been taken away. Especially because they were better at it than she was. She quit tennis after eighth grade and her sisters and I and another of IM’s close friends continued to play through our senior year of high school.

This is not to say at all that her sisters meant to make her feel bad or something like that. They just wanted to play tennis. They wanted to play with her, and they didnt mean to outshine her or anything. And I think they felt bad when they did but what were they supposed to do? We all tried to convince her not to quit. The whole tennis thing wasn't even a really huge deal when it happened but I just wanted to include it because it’s pretty representative of a bunch of little things over the years that built up.

Anyways, that’s not even really why I sucked as a friend to her. I mean it kind of is. You have to know IM though so this is pretty hard to explain. She never really got caught up in the whole texting craze of the past decade or so, and that doesn't even really mean anything to anyone else but me I guess because it kind of did make a difference.

If you can’t tell, I’m struggling to explain this.

We just grew apart. But at the same time I grew closer to her sisters. And I didn’t really even notice that I was further from IM, because we would all hang out together when I was hanging out w her sisters (it was just that her sisters and I made the plans, but we would never tell IM she couldn't do something with us and it was expected that she would hang out with us). More and more though, I would pick up on tension between her and her sisters or their mom and her sisters and kind of always felt like it had something to do with IM feeling kind of excluded.

So yeah I’m not gonna pretend like I couldn’t have been a better friend. I definitely did do stuff that made her feel excluded. I probably didn’t text her back 100% of the time and I probably did make her feel bad when she didn’t want to do what me and her sisters did and I probably didn’t do enough to tell her that I appreciated her as my friend and not just the sister of my better friends and I do feel really guilty about it and how it probably caused a lot of shitty feelings for her that definitely contributed to her eating disorder and anxiety and depression. And eventual suicide. But that’s still getting ahead of myself.

So back to January 2015. Junior year of high school. She was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa after a few scary but keeping-it-on-the-DL weeks where we kind of knew something was going on but nobody really expected this type of thing. She texted her closest friends, so me and probably 3 other girls (all of us are kind of a squad with IM and her sisters and we are all close) explaining very technically what her diagnosis meant, what kind of treatment she would be seeking, and asking for our support. Obviously we gave it to her.

I was a pretty shitty friend before this but I do like to think that I became a better one after she told me. And so did the other girls. Pretty much immediately we all gave her our overwhelming support and told her we’d be there for her through it all. And I really think we were, just way too late. By that time it was already pretty bad. I would be texting her pretty much whenever I wasn't sleeping about anything she needed to tell someone about. I felt so bad and I wanted to be there for her. I really did. So i was. And I told her I loved her and I said all the right things that should have made her feel good but they didn’t because she was sick. So sick. She began outpatient treatment at a hospital close to our house right after she told us she was diagnosed, and for months to come after that the long text conversations ensued. Her trying to explain her feelings and me trying to explain mine. I think we both felt like we were speaking two totally different languages. For literally months we had what felt like the same conversations over and over, and it became really frustrating to listen to her when I really could not understand. On particularly rough days I remember getting texts from her asking me to come over to just go on a walk, or even from her sisters asking me to come over and talk to her. When I got there I could tell she had probably just taken a good amount of anger or frustration or whatever out on her mom and sisters, which I knew was really hard for them. My guess is that each of them will probably always blame themselves at least a little. I don't really remember the order of events or anything but she was in and out of a few different treatment programs and facilities, some outpatient and a few inpatient, and even one inpatient facility in Chicago (about 1000 miles away from where we live) for a long time that summer.

After Chicago, I don't really remember what happened to be honest. We met her at the airport just as we had when we said goodbye at the airport weeks earlier. I think she seemed better. She started senior year at our school but I think that didnt last very long. Or she was only taking a few classes at school and was doing mostly online, or something like that. This is where things get kind of fuzzy for me memory wise, but basically she was just doing a lot of counseling and therapy and hired someone to stay with her during the day and drive her to classes/appointments/etc. And we were still really close, and would still text all the time, and she had new things to tell me about from Chicago that weren't all good and were sometimes hard to hear but weren't all bad either.

And she showed signs of recovery. She adopted the mantra stay strong and started a recovery blog and wrote a literal book detailing her story. And to be honest I still haven't read it. I have it, but I can’t. I will one day. But I can’t right now. She was working with a graduate student to create a documentary. She wrote speeches and gave them at the outpatient partial program where she started recovery. She still had bad days, but she was starting to have good ones. I distinctly remember being super excited when texting her or talking to her about her plans for the future. She wanted to be a voice for people like her and she wanted ideas of strength and recovery to spread. And this all sounds super cliche but I swear to god it wasn't.

She got into her dream school. We graduated. She went to her dream school and the rest of us went to our schools. She was the only one of us there but she had an older friend who had recovered from an eating disorder already at her school. I think she was really good for IM and I’m incredibly thankful for her. She could understand IM like none of us ever could. They were friends even before IM went to school, like during the summer. She would be over at their house while I was sometimes and sometimes it felt like we were on opposite sides because IM would be mad at her sisters for something and if I was hanging out with them, she was kinda almost mad at me too. But i didn’t really care because I was happy she finally had someone just for her, you know? And I didn’t want to take that away from her.

In the middle of her first semester at school she had another suicide attempt. After what seemed like a calm period. Or at least it seemed like that to me. I can’t shake the feeling that I got caught up in college and I wasn’t there for her anymore. But she liked her school. She had friends. And I felt like she finally did have something all to herself that was special to her and I really believed she would be okay. I still don't even really know what happened, or where the line was drawn between her being okay and then all of a sudden not. And I’m sure it wasn't as simple as that, but like I said I kind of became a shitty friend again without even realizing it so I guess I’ll never know. So she went home. And I did talk to her about it some. And she seemed in control of the situation, when she could be. She told me about her really bad hallucinations. So I guess that was the line, but still I wish I had been there for her earlier to listen as it happened. She told me that she wanted to go back to an inpatient facility and said she was considering telling her therapist that, but I guess she never did.

The next thing that stands out to me is getting a call from one of her sisters while I was sitting in the library at school. October 2, 2016. Through sobs she told me she was gone. She said that IM was dead. I talked to her sister’s roommate and told her she needed to watch her. I talked to her sister again and lied through my teeth telling her it was going to be okay, that we would be okay. I called my mom. I texted her other sister. A 20 minute, agonizing walk back to my dorm where I told another of our best friends who hadn't read her text messages yet. We all went home for a while.

We sat on my bed while waiting for the police to leave their house. They hadn't seen their mom yet but she told them not to come home until she said so. We didn’t really know what to do.

So that really has sucked. Like so bad. And now I really miss her. We all do. And we’re trying to stay strong. But it’s really hard. Especially when I feel so horribly guilty. But I try to remind myself how forgiving IM was. She never resented me and never made me feel guilty. Multiple times I expressed sorrow and guilt to her and how I could have been a better friend, but she wouldn't have it. She was an incredible friend to me, too. My mom got cancer the fall after IM was diagnosed, and IM was there for me through it all. If I needed her she would be there for me without hesitation and was a truly empathetic person. I am a better person for knowing her, for sure.

To IM:

Thank you for staying strong for so long. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for teaching me so many things about being a friend and a person. Thank you for trying to get better all those times when it would have been so easy to give up, when you wanted to give up. Thank you for believing that I loved you and for listening to me even when I was speaking a different language. This blog is for you, more than anyone else.

To everyone else,

stay strong

#IM

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

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What People From Your Favorite Memes Look Like Now

Imagine the worst school photo or prom picture that’s in your family photo album, now imagine that photo album is the internet. Well, that’s what life has been like for the famous faces behind our favorite hilarious memes. Luckily, while the internet may not be a place that forgets, it does give chances for redemption.

Remember faces like ‘side-eyeing Chloe’ and ‘bad luck Brian’ well, they are all grown-up. From hilarious to downright awkward, the expressions these ‘celebrities’ made are forever immortalized on the web, but now so are their transformations. Just like a fine wine, most of these stars have gotten better over time. And even though they are older now, these funny faces are still quite recognizable (don’t worry the ridiculously photogenic guy is still ridiculously photogenic). Scroll down below to see your favorite meme celebrities then and now and don’t forget to upvote your favs!

#1 Success Kid (Sam Griner)

The meme originated in 2007, after Laney Griner uploaded a photograph of her son Sammy trying to eat sand to Flickr. The meme gained initial popularity captioned “I Hate Sandcastles”, suggesting that the boy had just destroyed another child’s sandcastle. Laney disliked the “I Hate Sandcastles” meme as she felt it made her son – who in fact loved sandcastles – look like a bully, but she embraced the “Success…

#2 Disaster Girl (Zoe Roth)

The photograph of the girl and the burning house was taken by Dave Roth in January 2004 during the local fire department’s live drill training two blocks away from his home in Mebane, North Carolina. While observing the fire, Dave caught his daughter, Zoe, smiling devilishly juxtaposed against the burning house. “I’d love for the meme to help me get into or pay for college somehow,” Zoe says. “But I…

#3 Side-Eyeing Chloe (Chloe)

On September 12th, 2013, YouTuber KAftC uploaded a video titled “Lily’s Disneyland Surprise… AGAIN,” which shows two sisters, Lily and Chloe, reacting to the news of a surprise trip to Disneyland on their way to school. As the older sister, Lily, breaks into tears of joy, Chloe is briefly seen on camera with a disturbed look on her face that will forever be known as the ‘Side-Eyeing Chloe’.

#4 Good Luck Charlie (Mia Talerico)

It’s a scene from the Disney Channel show “Good Luck Charlie”. The expressive girl is often used as a synonym for “I don’t know”

#5 Doge

On February 23rd, 2010, Japanese kindergarten teacher Atsuko Sato posted several photos of her rescue-adopted Shiba Inu dog Kabosu to her personal blog. The photos included a peculiar shot of Kabosu sitting on a couch while glaring sideways at the camera with raised eyebrows, which is now known as the first picture of “Doge”

#6 Overly Attached Girlfriend (Laina Morris)

In 2012 YouTuber Laina Morris uploaded a webcam video in which she performs a parody version of Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend” with personalized lyrics. The video was submitted in response to Bieber’s announcement of an online sing-off contest in promoting his celebrity perfume “Girlfriend”. But it wasn’t an easy trip from meme origin to YouTube success, Morris spoke about privacy issues following the meme’s success. “Strangers were finding my personal Facebook…

#7 Trying To Hold A Fart Next To A Cute Girl In Class (Michael McGee)

On March 2nd, 2014, Redditor aaduk_ala submitted a photograph titled “Trying to hold a fart next to a cute girl in class” to the /r/funny subreddit. When asked whether he has felt any regret about his internet fame, McGee responded: “My take on being ‘internet famous’ is cool and all. But I regret not copyrighting the picture right away because I could have made a lot of money there!”

#8 Ridiculously Photogenic Guy (Zeddie Smith)

“Ridiculously Photogenic Guy” is Zeddie Little running in the 2012 Cooper River Bridge Run. When asked about the appeal behind the meme, Little responded: “I really don’t know, but I kinda feel honored to be part of a joke that’s in good spirit because sometimes the Internet can be a little vicious or jokes can get bent the wrong way. But these are all kinda, for the most part,…

#9 Bad Luck Brian (Kyle Craven)

The guy in the picture is not actually Brian, his name is Kyle Craven. The Picture was first posted on January 23rd, 2012 by a long-time friend of Kyle with a caption “Takes driving test .?.?. gets first DUI.”

#10 Ermahgerd (Maggie Goldenberger)

“Ermahgerd” is a rhotacized pronunciation of “oh my god”. The meme first emerged on March 14th, 2012, as a post titled “Just a book owners smile…”. The girl in the meme, Maggie Goldenberger, said that the picture was created in fourth or fifth grade when she and her friends seriously got into playing dress-up.

Grumpy Cat is the nickname given to Tardar Sauce, a snowshoe cat that rose to online fame after several pictures of her annoyed facial expressions were posted to Reddit in late September 2012.

#12 First World Problems (Silvia Bottini)

The woman from the “First World Problems” meme is actually an award-winning Italian actress

#13 Blinking White Guy (Drew Scanlon)

The GIF comes from a live stream shot in 2013, when Drew Scanlon was a video producer at the popular gaming website Giant Bomb. During one of the team’s weekly “Unprofessional Fridays” shows, Scanlon watched as editor-in-chief Jeff Gerstmann played Starbound, a two-dimensional action-adventure game. “I’ve been doing some farming,” Gerstmann narrated, “with my h*e.” Scanlon reacted with the expression now known as the “Blinking White Guy”

#14 Scumbag Steve (Blake Boston)

The first known time this image was posted on Reddit was January 21st, 2011. A commenter in the Reddit thread identified the young man in the photo as Blake Boston, also known as “Weezy B.” In an interview with Know Your Meme, Blake revealed that the picture was originally taken by his mother. “I have no regrets in my life â€¦no matter what I do. I can completely f*ck up on something and I still don’t regret it. Because at the end of the day, that makes me who I am, so I wouldn’t go back and erase anything, if I were to go back in time.”

#15 Hipster Barista (Dustin Mattson)

The first noted instance of Hipster Barista was uploaded on August 24, 2011. The guy in the picture, Dustin Mattson, expressed how he felt about the meme in an interview for Eater Atlanta: “I do find it discouraging and disappointing that there was so much exposure brought to an attempt at making a joke of a culinary industry and the professional barista. To me, it’s very telling on how we laud farm-to-table food, craft beer, cocktail mixology, but it’s ok to have no respect for the specialty coffee world and the people who are committed to it. On the other hand, the whole thing only makes me want to work harder at my job, make better coffee, serve my customers better, and bring more positive exposure to both the company I work for, the barista profession, and specialty coffee as a whole. If anyone were to see my and my coworkers’ work in the cafÃ©, they’d see that it doesn’t quite match up to most of the jokes made against the “Hipster Barista”.”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/what-people-from-your-favorite-memes-look-like-now/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/what-people-from-your-favorite-memes-look-like-now/

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allofbeercom · 6 years ago

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What People From Your Favorite Memes Look Like Now

#1 Success Kid (Sam Griner)

#2 Disaster Girl (Zoe Roth)

#3 Side-Eyeing Chloe (Chloe)

#4 Good Luck Charlie (Mia Talerico)

It’s a scene from the Disney Channel show “Good Luck Charlie”. The expressive girl is often used as a synonym for “I don’t know”

#5 Doge

#6 Overly Attached Girlfriend (Laina Morris)

#7 Trying To Hold A Fart Next To A Cute Girl In Class (Michael McGee)

#8 Ridiculously Photogenic Guy (Zeddie Smith)

#9 Bad Luck Brian (Kyle Craven)

#10 Ermahgerd (Maggie Goldenberger)

Grumpy Cat is the nickname given to Tardar Sauce, a snowshoe cat that rose to online fame after several pictures of her annoyed facial expressions were posted to Reddit in late September 2012.

#12 First World Problems (Silvia Bottini)

The woman from the “First World Problems” meme is actually an award-winning Italian actress

#13 Blinking White Guy (Drew Scanlon)

#14 Scumbag Steve (Blake Boston)

#15 Hipster Barista (Dustin Mattson)

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/what-people-from-your-favorite-memes-look-like-now/

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