#it was so tough finding pics i thought would fit what i have in my head but this will do for now

[foreverppl]

Moodboard for my MC Evander for @uroboros-if

I so enjoyed playing this demo last night and have been having many Thoughts about it.

[inkforhumanhands]

What do you use to make your comic edits? I really like them!! And is there like a process you follow? Like do you storyboard the rough idea first? Sorry if you've answered this somewhere before

Ohhhh man this is going to have to go under a cut due to pictures. Luckily whenever I make an edit I tend to DM my friend process pics while screaming about how horrible they look and how I can't figure out how to fix them. 💀 So some of the record exists!

I use a mix of three different programs. To be honest even though it's free, Photopea.com is my go-to for most functions, especially since they have a large pool of fonts to choose from which means I don't have to go into the font mines and download 500 different ones just to see what's going to look best. I also use Paint Shop Pro, which is the program I learned how to make edits (icons, back in the day) on when I was like 14. I have a newer version now since I finally had to retire the 15-year-old one on my broken laptop, and I still don't really know my way around it that well. It's not the most user-friendly software, but it is a lot better than Photopea at resizing images to make them larger. I also use Clip Studio Paint whenever I need to draw anything for an edit.

When I need resources, I often use dafont.com for fonts. I have a bunch of texture packs from various places on the internet, but my go-to nowadays for new stuff is pexels.com where you can get stuff with a royalty-free license. I also occasionally use my own photos for textures (took a bunch of wall photos in Italy- my dad thought I'd lost my mind). I don't use brushes all that often but there are other free resource spots.

As for process, I usually start with comic panels that I like visually and cut out the characters, then figure out what I want to do with them. For Kill Krew, I knew I wanted to use a bunch of the tiny Foggies, but I didn't know that I wanted to make it a story per se until I finished the first section of the edit where Foggy's holding a bunch of papers and I decided to make it kind of like he was authoring his own memoir. Then I just followed the events in the comic. For my volume 5 edits I did have more of an idea for the story I wanted to tell from the start and looked for comic panels that would fit it. (By the way: never forgiving the volume 5 editors for allowing so many different artists. It pained me to have to use a couple different artists in one edit.)

Anyway though kind of like when I'm writing fic, I just start with pretty much a blank canvas, plop the characters on, and hope they arrange themselves into something that looks cool. This is a very early draft of one of them next to a slightly more advanced draft:

A lot of the work honestly goes into choosing the background and marrying it to other elements such as the text and the cutouts. I use a lot of rectangles for this, as you can see in this Kill Krew one next to a near-final draft below. This is also the phase where elements get resized, whether for story-telling reasons or design reasons.

I also fool around a lot with layers and coloring. An unexpected layering choice can totally make or break an edit. See the original comic coloring (left) versus my coloring change (right):

Or this original panel (left) versus a combination of a picture of a starry sky and a coloring layer (right):

Font is also hugely important to me. I try to find ones that fit thematically AND also look great on the image. Like bad coloring or a bad background, an ugly font can also kill an edit. Choose wisely lmao.

Another thing to watch out for in an edit that's multiple images is to make sure they all look nice together and like they're part of one set. I find this probably the hardest, since different source images (comic panels in this case) often have different coloring requirements, but you want the colors to mesh well between different images. It's tough! And if you make extremely long edits like I do occasionally it's hard to even see what they look like together. Sometimes when I'm looking at them stacked in Photopea it looks like a tiny, tiny photostrip and I have to figure out what's working and what isn't. It's tough out there!

Anyway I think that's all I got! Hope that gave you some insight lol I'm glad I had these process pics because I usually just kind of go into a fugue state while making them and come out covered in blood!

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

Brown skin really is tough to balance out

I spent like an hour trying different shades. I would pick a shade, it looks nice, I color the picture, then the brown overshadows all the other colors

I think this brown works. If I want to make it richer like I originally thought, I have to do the same to the other colors and mess with the contrast so it looks cohesive

It was much more pale when I found a color that fits so then I just started a cycle of finding the shade I want, lowering the opacity, increasing saturation, lowering opacity, increasing saturation, lowering opacity

With rendering, I think it will look fine. I'm just really confused right now tho 🤣

Usually, my game plan is to find a shade, fuck it if it doesn't fit with the rest of the pic, and then hope rendering solves everything

Now that I actually think about it.... damn. This is something I will think about. I don't like guessing. Guessing bad because that means I can't reproduce it. One hit masterpiece and then I die. 👎👎👎👎👎

Too many of my drawings are like that. I guessed, it looked great, could never do it again.

I need a method to this madness

I don't mean to suck my own dick but I think my drawings with dusky to dark skin have been nice. But who cares. Looking nice isn't enough, I need to know what I'm doing

Otherwise then if I learn something new, I can't even begin to apply it because 🤷‍♀️

But anyways I'm so ready to try what I saw on xiaohongshu

I tried it before and it looked hideous but I did it wrong. I got it this time I think. I can do it i believe 🫡 and if I can't do it I'll give up and play video games

[thirddoctor]

top 5 'haha, what a loser' moments in bg3 >:3

dhgjsf very funny ask thank you

Obvious one but after we saved the grove and I was like well this sure is a fun party! let me go talk to my good buddy Gale :) and Gale was like I wanna teach you some magic, so I said sure sounds fun, then went to talk to Lae'zel and she's like I can't believe you're gonna sleep with Gale and I was like wait WHAT and it turned out all my friends were a bunch of horny weirdos who wanted me so bad it made them look stupid

Speaking of horny weirdos, when Mizora was like, so you and me, how about it? ;) after she tried to force my best boy Wyll to either sell her his soul or let his dad die. idk what kind of answer she was expecting from me

Every time I went to have a nice conversation with Astarion and instead he was like soooo have you thought about helping me take over the world yet? :) and I would have to patiently explain once again that no, I wasn't gonna do that

When I discovered my cool mom friend was in fact a deadbeat skipping out on her actual family to be my cool mom friend

Minthara trying to look tough and mean while having the saddest wettest eyes in Faerun

Some bonus unscripted loser moments:

After we'd just triumphantly defeated a horde of goblins and then all four of us slipped and fell over on some grease at the same time

In the first romance scene with Lae'zel when, playing as Astarion, I tried to be suave and assertive and immediately rolled a 2

When I saved a funny rock in Act One and spent the whole game planning to chuck it at the Netherbrain for the killing blow and then when the moment came it just bounced right off lol

When I went around opening up cursed chests and wondered why my companions were all being little babies about it even though I was the one on 1 HP and I was fine, till I realised they were, you know, getting cursed, and I was unaffected on account of being undead

When I threatened Mizora by leaving Raphael's body at her feet My pic of Raphael dying in a glue trap :)

I also spent an... embarrassingly long time carrying Cazador's corpse in my inventory, weighing me down, while I tried to figure out a fitting resting place for him. First I had the idea of leaving him in Chult to be eaten by dinosaurs, but there's no way to get back there, so then I thought about trapping him in the magic lamp, but when I went back to find it it wasn't there anymore (I might have destroyed it?), so I finally settled on dumping him in the astral prism.

I was going to put my portrait there for him to gaze on for eternity, but it switched to being Lae'zel instead. I was romancing her so it's fine I guess. I'll taunt him with my hot gf. I also left him with a jester's hat (that I sadly couldn't place on his head), a poisoned apple, a... book? Honestly don't remember what that was about but l'm sure I left him with some thrilling reading material. And for company I gave him a teddy bear, a clown head, and Gortash's hand. I think I was just clearing out my inventory at that point. Can't tell you what a relief it was to finally be rid of his weight (there's a metaphor in there, I'm sure).

[beautifuldonutobject]

20 Fun Facts About replica bags designer

I guess Most people has actually been there, that instant of standing before a window Show, gawking at a lovely duplicate bag in The shop window… It's Practically hypnotic-like condition, occasionally I’m not able to pull myself faraway from it! I indicate, duplicate baggage guaranteed are magnificent, plus the superior-excellent ones a lot more so…It is really why this subject matter’s normally a favourite when mates and I sit back for the chat.​

Suffice it to say, it has been a while because I 1st grew to become inquisitive about duplicate luggage.​ I bear in mind staying quite determined to uncover the appropriate bag that would be the ideal in good shape for me.​ I was trying to purchase a bag that in shape me to some ‘T’, one that was strong, tough and wouldn't effortlessly buckle in a couple of days.​ Sooner or later I discovered a thing that caught my eye and I just realized that was the just one! Me and that bag had a relationship, obviously!

I think The key to acquiring the top reproduction bag lies in obtaining the persistence to search for the right a person.​ This is a bit endeavoring to sift through the countless baggage that arrive in various variations, components, colours, sizes and shapes out there out there.​ So I needed to set some perform into discovering the proper a person, but it had been worth it in the end.​ I such as the leather types mainly because they seem sophisticated and last a lot longer than the others.​

Then you will find the pattern.​ Now, this is particularly vital mainly because it speaks volumes about your personal design.​ From curated patterns, specially crafted prints and luxe textures to vibrant geometrics, Every person needs to be ready to select some thing they obtain classy and stylish that fits their vibe and Mindset.​ With each new masterpiece I discover, my delight grows.​ The variety that replica baggage give certainly shock me and mesmerize me concurrently.​

I constantly Be sure to choose high quality just before anything else.​ Authentic replica luggage are sturdy and durable, you do not need for being stuck carrying something that seems to be attractive but speedily starts tattering absent for the seams.​ It is essential to get the appropriate bag, so I identified to guarantee I acquired a thing that would previous throughout the decades, and I found an ideal truthful-priced a person.​

In the mean time, It is really like my small Buddy that faithfully comes along where ever I go.​ It carries my trusty pen, audio player, tissue packs and a bunch of other vital paraphernalia.​ The bag has been with me For many years, nevertheless it even now seems fantastic as new.​ No wonder why reproduction baggage are becoming Progressively more well-known, I assume persons just want to obtain the most price out of their income.​

faux luggage

Perfectly, my Buddy, I just acquired a stunning bag on the net, and I was so excited to indicate it off to you personally.​ Certainly I am no fashionista but I do know a bogus bag when I see a person.​ It did not just take me long to realise all wasn't what it appeared.​

I began to doubt it The instant I noticed it.​ There were some pretty evident explain to-tale indications that it had been a 'dud'.​ First of all, it absolutely was just far too very good to generally be legitimate – it absolutely was way less costly than you'll be expecting it to be for its excellent and elegance.​ Moreover the packaging was very poor as well as the logos were not in the proper position whatsoever.​

I begun possessing 2nd thoughts about it and that is when I made a decision to do a little bit of exploration.​ Sure plenty of, Once i checked out the products pics on the website, everything begun including up.​ The stitching was not appropriate, The brand was distinct, and even the straps have been unique from the way it's pictured on the web site.​

I had been gutted After i learned I would been duped! I joined some discussion boards to teach myself a little bit more about how to identify a phony bag and it turns out, it isn't really as tricky as it seems.​ From Mastering the details inside and out to researching the small distinctions in the best way It really is sewn or even taking note of the tags, you can find definitely ways to place a bogus bag.​

And all my problems failed to conclude there.​ For the reason that I would bought it on the net, it was not possible to return it, so ultimately I just threw it away.​ It felt like The full factor was a costly and completely pointless lesson.​

But it designed me Assume a good deal about this, you realize? It will require months, from time to time even a long time, for these counterfeiters to excellent their craft and replicate designer baggage as well as other things.​ It can be an sector value billions of pounds and it is apparently correct less than our noses.​ There are many individuals in existence that are prepared to pay large revenue for something which is not authentic and that does not make them glance good.​

It is really certainly thoughts-blowing how these fakes are so painstakingly place alongside one another and however persons nonetheless can't place them! These knock-off shops are appearing all over the place and they're undertaking a roaring trade.​ It truly is an uphill activity seeking to put an conclusion to them but consciousness performs A serious role In this particular.​

So, my Pal, the next time the thing is somebody carrying about a 'designer bag', stand up close and private with it and make Totally guaranteed That which you're getting is the real deal.​ Look at louis vuitton outlet that it isn't some cheap copy – it could find yourself costing you way over you bargained for.​

Most people will inform you It is really just a designer bag but you'll want to under no circumstances choose anything at face worth.​ The only certain way to tell if It is really actual is by inspecting it closely.​ What appears to be to generally be a little slip-up can end up creating a major distinction, and what improved way to prevent any heartache than by ensuring your bag is the actual thing.​

Information is electrical power, and that is why I've accomplished my analysis and shared it along with you.​ Hopefully this data might help teach as Many of us as possible and place an end to those bogus bag scams, stopping foreseeable future heartache and economical losses.​

I believe It is no shocker that for A lot of people, reproduction baggage are getting to be the go-to alternative.​ To start with, the quality of these baggage has drastically improved over time, with a lot of shops purchasing the production of more powerful and very long lasting products.​ Secondly, you will find the price.​ They supply a nice compromise due to the fact They are really priced reduce than the initial designer bags and offer almost exactly the same features.​ Furthermore the fashion developments usually evolve along with the range of patterns accessible now help it become easier to pick something that suits everyone.​

They're also really easy to hold and intensely multipurpose.​ For some people This can be The most crucial variable because they are able to choose it out to dance courses, to cafes, to fulfill close friends As well as in many other instances.​ Besides this, the types are gorgeous and absolutely eye-catching.​ It is like going for walks all-around by using a work of art – it screams epic style!

The options are infinite On the subject of reproduction luggage.​ You can find the micromodal and 3D versions, multicolor combos, vibrant shapes and prints and the good aged neutral kinds.​ It is really tough to pick which a single to Opt for but it's just heavenly simply to browse.​ You frequently ponder why individuals waste income on the high priced originals when you'll find these magnificent replica baggage at a fraction of the expense.​ It can be actually a no-brainer, don’t you think?

I'm confident anyone would agree that replica luggage are the ideal blend of manner and practicality.​ Include to that the truth that they are Tremendous reasonably priced and trendy, and you have the proper staple that is in shape For each and every scenario.​ I signify, every human being wants a great bag to convey out their most effective design, and reproduction luggage do make a fantastic impact.​

[mr-president]

HI. I doodled this so fast the moment I saw thsi post. Here’s my take in my (not) humble opinion… (I play Pokémon competitively so not humble)

PROF. LUDWIG: A battle? Why of course!! I will warn you, though…I’m rather good!

MEDIC: I couldn’t find a Pokémon that was a) had healing moves (pollen puff, heal pulse), b) had good support tools (reflect, light screen), and/or c) wasn’t female/not giving medic. In other words, he’d be Hatterene but this is a list for what Pokémon they would be not what they’d have. Besides, it kinda felt fitting to have him be a professor.

SCOUT: Jolteon. Fast, hits pretty hard, FRAIL AS HELL. Additionally, scout has 7 other brothers, and I thought it’d be cute if he and his brothers were the eeveelutions!!!

PYRO: Volcarona. Firebug. (And one of my favorite Pokémon). I did consider “game meta” counters to other Pokémon in this shit, so I thought abt how Pyro sorta counters spy and sniper (and the type combos work out!)

SOLDIER: Braviary. Yeah thsi one’s obvious, but I will say I was considering Salamence instead. There’s the whole “bagon wish” thing that kinda is soldier but also, I wanted the classes who are major uber targets to be ones who can mega!! But I just couldn’t turn down Braviary—it’s what the man himself would’ve wanted.

ENGIE: Clodsire. One of the best support Pokémon in the series, the main reason I chose clodsire is 1) bc he’s fucking adorable like engie and 2) clodsire is a hazard bot. He has toxic spikes, spikes, and stealth rock; literal “area denial” just like in game!! Mb i could’ve made him a wish support mon, but I LIKE CLODSIRE (plus he counters jolteon which is meta)

DEMO: Gengar. He’s actually in the pic, but he’s in the pokeball going >;D!!! Very small detail, but I didn’t forget him! Anyway, Gengar hits like a fucking train (like demo), everyone has to watch out for a Gengar on the opponents team (like demo), and Gengar is a prime mega slot Pokémon (like demo but w uber!!) Gengar is also just a silly guy (like demo), and even tho I was debating between it and Aegislash (bc ghost sword), I had to go w the boi. Also, Gengar can learn explosion.

HEAVY: BLASTOISE. It’s tanky, it hits like a train, it’s TOUGH. Despite being one of the best megas out there, mega blastoise is actually rather slow. But those stats more than make up for it. Anyway, Blastoise is also a starter mon, and I think it’d be cute if he was Medic’s starter!!

SPY: Zoruark. Zoruark was literally designed for Spy; it’s ability, Illusion, disguises it as one of its fellow teammate pokemon, but if it gets HIT, then it’s revealed. P much like a spy’s disguise. Zoruark uses this ability to lure in certain dangerous Pokémon on the opponents team (by often disguising as a less threatening Pokémon) and then BLASTING IT W A POWERFUL MOVE TO KO THEM. Literal target elimination that Spy does.

SNIPER: Decidueye. Yeah, I have my reasons. 1) decidueye is a bird, 2) it is an introvert, and 3) I think it looks cooler than Intelleon. Listen, I know that intelleon is a literal sniper rather than just a huntsman, but like. Would be on his team, but the Sniper I know goes ham over being a bird. I did it for him. Also, Intelleon is pretty fucking fast, like, almost as fast as Jolteon, which doesn’t really fit. No I swear I am not just a hater over everything gen 8 (I am). Still, personality wise, I think Decidueye fits better than the gayass slay salamander.

Anyway that concludes my nerdy ramble abt pokemon!!! This probably makes absolutely no sense. I also did not go in as deep detail as I could. You’re welcome.

enough assigning the mercs pokemon teams. which pokemon are the mercs spiritually

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

[foxymoxynoona]

hey foxy. i was wondering if you could, like, put together a pic thread of Jungkook looks for each of your fic? like a thread of pics of Jungkook that you think represent/look the closest to what each of your fictional Jungkook looks like, like Meadow!Jungkook, Lowlander!Jungkook, Sugar Fairy!Jungkook, Sea of Indigo!Jungkook, Amended!Jungkook… obviously in Lowlander!jungkook’s case, you won’t find any pics of Jungkook wearing Viking-esque fits but maybe just, pics that you think just give off Lowlander!Jungkook, you know? does that make sense? 😅

BUT OF COURSE you have no obligation to do this at all because i know you won’t have the time anyway OR you just don’t want to and that’s ok 😅😅 just thought i would try asking!

OK I'm putting this beneath the cut because it's a lot of pictures. Honestly some of these stories I wrote a while ago so I'm trying to remember who I'd envisioned them...

Meadow Jungkook: starts with longer straight hair, wears dark colors, tattoos, piercings. Any of Jungkook's tough guy long haired looks would work for this, the bigger and less he looks like he cares, the better. Butter music video but pretend the purple hair is black and get rid of the smile LOL. There are lots of fan arts that work for this too. He cuts his hair shorter and then you can think of that concert peformance where he had the skeleton shirt and red sunglasses, can't find an official photo rgiht now...

SEA OF INDIGO JK: Long enough for a ponytail (you will notice I have a bias here LOL) through shaggy. I think he always needs to look like a slightly overgrown puppy, a tough guy who doesn't actually look very tough in the face.

SUGAR FAIRY JK: I can't remember if I ever really specified hair or anything but this is totally how I still think of him, just add on the bunny ears. It’s more accurate for the beginning of the story, maybe his style and physicality grow over the course of it. But he’ll always be this emo bug in my heart.

AMENDED JK: You can see the remnants of his tough guy youth but he has to have his hair work-required short. Looks more clean cut and responsible but with a streak of hot guy arrogance. The "Will it Fit" Jimmy Fallon bit was highly inspiring.

LOWLANDER JK: while I don't have any photos or art of him with the really longer hair I'd thought of, his longer hair with the undercut works well, or just his longer hair in general. He had a photoshoot that fit the vibe really well and I also actually commissioned art from Hellenysart as well.

PENGUIN KOO: You didn't ask about him but I'll include him, it might surprise readers to know I've envisioned him as blond sweater Koo. Look at that grump!

OK that's my image limit. Hope this is what you were looking for! And obviously everyone is free to envision whichever JK look they want in the stories :) sometimes I don't even get too specific (Like in Little Bean and Flux, where JK's look is roughyl accurate to whatever he actually had going on at the time.)

[mychampagne-mybubbles]

NOW I KNOW WHAT L.O.T. IS ABOUT

So, now I understand LOVE ON TOUR, since it started and the new “hare merch” was dropped, I have tried to find literally the love on tour… in his aesthetics, the graphic designs, the moves, etc. Obviously getting the entire sense of what this man is delivering every night from my cell phone screen is not easy, I am not attending any of his concerts. So probably whatever super idea I have come up with, thousands of people might have already had before me.

As a fan, along with many others, I have been holding on to discover his wardrobe, accessories, his lyrics, and his encrypted messages every night; also, to find a little of Louis comfort in whatever he was delivering, but never stopped to pay attention to the songs list. Don’t get me wrong, of course, music is the center of this whole party, but I mean it from finding the LOVE ON TOUR sense.

This opened a really cool door!!!  I have read many comments from fans on different platforms “complaining” about the song that is not included, questioning why “this” and “that” choice and even suggesting for changes to him directly during the show as if customer service was open. The man has to love us fans, tbh 😋 But again, what is not planned & studied with Harry? There is always a purpose, right?

Also, in addition to the list of things I looked into to find Harry’s LOVE was the stage… a 360 one, with that specific shape but… we know nothing, this could entail adaptations to venues, ways of being closer to fans in an era marked by covid restrictions… it seems to be a good fit! It was thanks to a fan pic from the top of the venue, that showed the entire stage why I realized that one of the areas on the stage was a heart (Am I late?). It actually belongs to Jenny's part of the show, however, it clicked something. Casualties of life, a sketch that indicates where Harry -as in a choreography- sings his songs in the same spots every single night was dropped in IG recently. It made me think of the stage as an invisible map.

In conclusion, by adding the playlist to the specific areas where he sings, I realized I was looking in the wrong direction to find it when LOT was literally always Louis’ and his story.

Let me follow up on how things go every night at LOT & drive you through this love story:

The first time Harry puts a foot on the stage, he laid his eyes on someone that blinded him because he just shined on (Golden) sound familiar already?. He starts singing it at the ❤️ heart area of the stage (where inner thoughts, feelings and what have shaped his real persona is found) and ends up on the opposite side, where his fears or threads (let’s say) are represented 🚫 . That kid was thrilled with this new finding that implied a self-discovery process too, he empathized with this other involved person that might be also scared back then.

The crazy & fun not-committed one-stand-night girls carousel era came in (Carolina)🚫, or at least that is what we got in the tabloids very early; giving shape to a public image he still wears pinned to himself these days. However, in his heart, he knew he loved just one person and would do everything for him. ❤️ (Adore you)

The business duties hit harder as time went by, and he ended up hiding his own true self (Only angel) & resigned with what he was stuck with 🚫. Talking fans from the heart again, he presents us who he really is (She) and how he feels. It’s the peak of the self-discovery journey. ❤️

Times were tough and ended up hitting the couple, in the LOT stage, he steps away from what was his whole world, the one they built together: “home”, and reflects on it. Literally, he walks to this pulled apart area aside, to combine two ghosts and Falling. Letting the listener know about how there was a time when they didn’t recognize each other anymore and how the relationship ended up going down the hill.

After the storm they came back stronger than ever, settled with long-term plans and commitment. Sunflower vol 6🌻, the song which name hints that Van Gogh’s gift to lover Gauguin, gives me wedding vibes. Such a key moment in their relationship then and towards the future. ❤️

This moment established a mature relationship period, helping them to deal with the stunts and other outsider elements that could have put their relationship at risk, their approach towards them: la-la-la-la-la (Woman)🚫. He actually goes and sings the stunt song (Cherry) to the stunt. It is interesting to observe how this takes him away from the center (their world) but in the opposite direction to his meditating retreat; also, it’s curious how every show O stands in the same spot. I liked this idea a lot, since it is far away from “home”, not close, not even touching it, not risking it.

The stage lets him be loud without saying a word, the fact that he walks from the stunt to “home” making the statement (Lights up) about who he is, and how any blinding promise won’t make him undo the inner path he has built until now its just breathtaking.

Next, he sings about how is their relationship now: their peculiar daily life, their time apart & missing each other of course (Canyon moon). The following songs are part of that world they have created together: WMYB, TPWK & FINELINE. Ending the show letting us know they will be alright.

___________________________________________________________

Then there is an addition of three songs: SOTT, WMS & KIWI. Related mainly to strong causes yet surrounding them: closeting, sex and a mature appreciation for a lover & BG. Really interesting combination & to observe where he sings each of them; pending on adding my interpretation on it.

❗️Probably without seeing the visuals and lights games I am missing so much that you guys' perceive during the show; also I support the idea that these songs add up with their narrative and tell a story, the interpretations vary a bit vs analyzing them individually (ofc), but the fact is that there is an intention behind this. So please feel free to jump in with any additions! ✨

[teddybeartoji]

took me a min to get to this i apologize i apologize i am in fact the slowest person in the world actually i've even gotten a medal for it

suguru being so attentive and so eager to teach. i think he finds so much satisfaction in taking that role yk??

YESSS THISSSS (i'm stealing this format this is the easiest on the eyes) BUT THISSSS!!!! he's such a good teacher?????? i think he has definitely given a few teeny tiny lessons to the reader too though the reader would just stare at him with hearts in their eyes (just like gojo lmao) but yeah i imagine suguru would feel so comfortable in that position??? it just feels right for him to teach Art his voice is so smooth and it's so good to listen to him even when you didn't care for painting you'd still wanna do it if he was the teacher

HIM NOTICING GOJO'S BONER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEH THAT'S SO FUNNYY HE WOULD 100000% GIVE THE MEANEST SIDEEYE but then................ but then.......................... you reckon he'd blush a little hmm?? he'd turn away, let his hair fall in front of his face a bit more, trying TRYING to hide it bc what the fuck that's so embarrassing hehehehe honestly i think if gojo notices the pink tint i don't think he'd tease in this moment i think it's his turn to find the other Endearing LMAO they're blushing over a fucking boner they're so stupid i love them so much

OMFGGGG WE BOTH THOUGHT OF A SIAMESE KITTY FOR THEMM EEEEEEEEEEE ARIMICKEY HIVEMIND FOR LIFEE i think sugu would die inside (in a good way) when he sees the reader sport just the tiniest pout on their lips when the cat doesn't give them attention:(((((( he definitely whispers into their ear later smth along the lines that the kitty does love them too lmao he just wants to make sure that they know yk it's silly but it's cute

SATOSHOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love their dynamic so much i think they fit together soooo fucking well

both of them love digging into other people’s brains

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they can both be so eerie sometimes i think they both have staring problems too like if you don't know them they seem a bit scary (i need them both so badly holy shit)

ari we are cats our tails are making a heart (how did this turn into petplay idk don't ask)(affectionate??) bro this is so us bro

are u a witch 🤨🤨 did u cast a spell on the dice 🤨🤨🤨

ahgsashgahsgahsasahsga he would he would say that aaaaaaaa that's so fucking funny i think the reader put that idea into his head.... like they just said "oh maybe she's a witch" JOKINGLY but then gojo being gojo................. took it so seriously and now he's CONVINCEDD that she is one and shoko fucking loves it she definitely uses it she threathens him with curses and i mean if vamps exist why couldn't witches so gojo tries to act tough and be like yeah sure but inside he's freaking the fuck out bc wHAT IF SHE REALLY DOES IT????????

PLEAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEE HAKU THE KITTYYYY HE'S SOOOO SLEEPY EEPY HE'S SOOOO CUTE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY your brothers cat being called haku and mine armin.... who let these nerds have cats what the fuck lmao ANYWAY HERE IS ANOTHER PIC OF LITTLE FERAL ARMIN HEHEHEHE

he wants to go outside all the time smh MY GUY YOU ARE A HOUSE CAT!!!!! he wants to eat grass.... stupid..... THERE IS NO GRASS YET SIRRR IT'S STILL WINTER you have a talent for summoning him btw bc he came to sleep on my bed this time too 🤨🤨🤨 are you possibly a witch too?? oh no this is bad i might've been making fun of gojo for being naive but.............. i am naive too oh no ari are you a witch?? you won't put a spell on me though right... RIGHT??? you wouldn't..... you love me......................... (i am Scared and horny)(sigh)

MEOW I HOPE YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD lmao i think this is the third time i'm sending something your way so this is the third time i'm telling you to have a good day............. this time i'm wishing you good sleep ok it's late already i mean i think atleast we seem to be time neighbors so i think ur gonna sleep soon i hope your pillow is cold and your bed exxxxxtra comfy MWAHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH<3

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

[timextoxhajima]

The Boyz as things and feelings (just cause)

this is a small thing @haechanhues​ needed help with so i decided to make it an actual post uwu [this is gonna be pretty long cause i might write little scenarios]

[THE BOYZ AS THINGS AND FEELINGS]

SANGYEON - MIRRORS AND PILLOWS

mirrors make a place look bigger than it really is - i feel like sangyeon has that ability to make you feel like you’re more important on your worst days

the things he’ll do just to make sure you’re alright, even when he knows you’re not

he also has the ability to reflect what you need: sad? he’ll come and hug you and let you cry or talk about your shitty day. happy? he’ll joke about the way you snort while laughing then he’d probably do something dumb to keep the energy up there

mirrors also feel very private and at-home, and that exactly how i feel he curates an environment

pillows are self-explanatory ig, smth to cry into, smth to fall asleep with while hugging, has the best homely scents ever, very comfortable

i imagine going home after a long day and finding your partner also tired, but he’s cooking or like in the couch watching tv and he just invites you into his arms uwu

“tell me about everything! whatever that makes you happy or sad and i’ll try my best to be who you need at that point of time!”

JACOB - FLOWERS AND MUSIC

ok like jacob with a guitar is just a stellar sight to behold, he looks like he was born to hold one, and his vocals are super underrated imo, most of tbz’s discography doesnt really suit his voice - i really wish he had a chance to have more lines in more ballads or maybe even a solo thing

he would drag you out to go on walks after he knows you’ve buried yourself in your work the whole day, and he’d be the kind to stop at a pretty flower and contemplate plucking it but he wouldn’t cause he’s a fairy and wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less a pretty flower

would probably play a piece in the background while you’re stressed w work and hum a tune so the singing wouldn’t distract you

would stop when he notices you stopped working and your sad ass is probably crying lmao

he’s a very soft and gentle man imo

he’s the innocent daisy amidst other bright colored, flamboyant flowers but he still stands out

“i’ll grow you a rose bush in the yard so i don’t have to be sad about plucking flowers next time.”

YOUNGHOON - WINTER COATS AND COFFEE AND PASTRIES

he definitely radiates tsundere vibes on first sight, but when you get to know him, he’s obviously the opposite: a crybaby

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t keep up his model-like appearances when he’s outside - in fact, he’d be the one to influence you into caring more about how you look (of course not materialistically, but more into actually caring about making yourself feel good with your fashion and appearance)

i chose winter coats as a symbol of coverage - he doesn’t show much of himself unless he’s close to you (like when you wear winter coats to keep warm, he’s a burrito because he doesn’t bother too much about sharing his feelings), but when he does, it feels like he has the ability to keep you warm and comfortable, even on the coldest days, even if his inner savage comes out

it’ll be like he scooped you into his coat and has you warm in one of this inner breast pockets

i see him as the kind to get regular coffee and like, a tart or something, at a cafe. it adds on to the warmth, when he remembers what you like. the details. maybe you like your coffee with cinnamon or less sugar or something, but then he tops it up with a muffin and he knows you like it heated up so he specifically asks for them to do so

ok but he’s defo the kind of guy that catches people’s attention at public spaces so every now and then when he’s laughing or smiling, some girl would gawk at him and he would be embarrassed about it, but lucky for you, you’re already wearing matching coats so they know the man’s taken uwu

“if only they knew how long it took to convince you to wear that coat.”

HYUNJAE - CONCERTS AND CONVENIENCE STORE DATES

classy but calm. dream-like but realistic. 

i say concerts as in the instrumental, ballad kinds. he loves it and he knows you probably need the sleep where you have that kind of background white noise/music that provides you the best quality of sleep there is. but when you’re not dosing off, he’s admiring how much time you’re willing to invest into being at something he loves

of course, in turn, he doesn’t complain much when you’re hungry and you meet him down the street at the nearest convenience store for some instant noodles and potato chips with a coke and he lets you ramble about your day 

he would probably buy you an ice cream just so you’d feel better, then regret it when you get a stomachache later cause it was like 2am in the morning

you probably have like 5 of his hoodies at home that you refuse to wash cause his scent is tainted all over it and the only time he gets to take them home is when he stays over or visits and he sneaks one into his bag when you’re in the kitchen making tea or a bowl of noodles

then you’ll get it back without even knowing it was gone

the kind that would probably surprise you after a day of work with a casual date idea to the movies, and i mean showing up at your place, impromptu, after he knows you’re home with two tickets 

“act like my girlfriend for once and go on a date with me, would you? your work isn’t going to be there with you when you die at 90.”

JUYEON - STARGAZING AND VR GAMES

as dumb and sometimes bimbotic as he seems he is, he’s gotten most of the visible constellations memorised and he would not hesitate from telling you all about his childhood with his family when they would travel and try to spot every single constellation they can remember

which brings me to the point where he remembers what you like, but... backhandedly. he doesn’t remember what you like but he remembers what you hate instead, so you don’t ever have to worry about getting that licorice flavoured jelly bean

he would offer a midnight walk to help you relieve your stress, cause he knows you just like seeing the nightsky amidst the peace and quiet while he rambles on for his own satisfaction. not everything has to be so emotionally attached and shared. you can share blissful moments without being the reason for each other’s and that’s totally fine.

juyeon is kind of a scaredy cat in the sense that he isn’t really into horror movies or games but he’s always had that dream to become a pilot and so for his birthday, you brought him to a vr game arcade where he played some plane simulator and ever since, you’ve been taking turns to surprise each other with a new vr arcade spot or adding on to the vr game console set you have at home

“maybe i should digitalise you so i can see you in the vr game”

KEVIN - KARAOKE SESSIONS AND NEON LIGHTS

the best-friend kind of partner you would come across once in a lifetime

a billion film shots of you after he drags you to the karaoke and he beats you at super intense songs like the bohemian rhapsody just cause he can hit those high notes and solely because he was screaming on the floor when he did it

almost left his film camera behind 

absolutely LOVES those walks along streets where there are a million neon lights

would come across that one sus neon light signs that indicate a sex toy store and he would give you that sly smile and probably joke for you to go in 

kevin has a moon neon light in his room and you have a star or something (whatever you want)

corrects your grammar and pronunciation, only for you two to bicker about it even more when you use google translation and there are different pronunciations depending on where/what accent you’re using

he really is your light in the dark, even if he’s known to be introverted. once he’s comfortable enough with you, he makes you feel like the most important person in the world

has one of those portable speaker microphones at home and he drones on and on and on with some billie eilish song until you hurl a pillow at him

“so you’re the tough girl, like it really rough girl, justcan’tgetenoughofkevingirl, chest always so puffed girl”

CHANHEE - DUETS AND STRAWBERRY PICKING

(i could not find a more candid, softer aesthetic pic for chanhee rip)

his entire wardrobe fits you - the only problem is that he’ll never let you wear it in fear that you’d stain or tear something

shared playlists because that’s how similar your taste in music is, and so sometimes when you have your earpiece in and you’re humming the melody of that song, chanhee picks it up immediately despite not hearing that song, and ends up harmonising with you

got kicked out of the library once or twice because it was exam period and the two of you won’t shut up

ironically doesn’t sing that much if you’re not around

chanhee is a true blue introvert - which is a miracle that you’ve managed to tear through that barrier of his and find out that he giggles at every stupid thing you do: he’s having a bad day? trip over the pavement. he’ll laugh. it works

dragging him out to go strawberry picking was so difficult - but of course chanhee isn’t safe from how beautiful and enticing the fresh fruits were.

didn’t touch anything strawberry flavoured OR any strawberries for the next month or so

his straightforwardness comes with the breakdown of his barrier - but that’s what brings you comfort. he will never lie, he will only be sarcastic and even then, you’d know it’s true

i used duets as a symbol of harmony and being in-sync, though never really exactly the same, and that’s how it is with chanhee. your thoughts are very similar even though he’s much more introverted than you, but that’s what binds you 

“i’m gonna tell the librarian i don’t know you if we get kicked out again.”

CHANGMIN - CITY TOURS AND MATCHING OUTFITS

city tours - the kind that you already know inside out and yet you STILL travel the area as if you were a tourist 

that’s exactly how it is with changmin: you know him inside out, after being friends for so long, but it never gets old

you’re used to him biting your hand out of nowhere and yet it startles you all the time. that stupid chucky doll in his living room? old, but it never fails to scare you

he doesn’t ever talk about it that much, but he loves it when you co-ordinate outfits

no, it doesn’t mean you wear couple tees, but it’s aesthetically pleasing to changmin that if he wears cool tones, you would too

he’d be reserved about his thoughts and feelings sometimes but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think or feel them

there’s a strange sense of familiarity with changmin, because you kind of know what to expect but then you’re never disappointed, you know?

“i got you this white pigeon cause it looks like the one i already got... you can give it back to me if you don’t like it though-” /he takes it before you can accept it/

HAKNYEON - STAND UP COMEDY SHOWS AND RUNNING ALONG THE BEACH

there’s something about ju that makes it very casual and easy-going

he hates horror genred themes so fuck that, he would queue online just for the latest ali wong comedy show, even if it’s an online show, and he would laugh until he cried

sometimes he’s a drama queen but that makes it alot easier for you to know what he’s thinking or feeling - it makes communication alot easier

that means a lack of arguments

he’s also very empathetic but straightforward, exactly like how comedy shows are - because they are relatable, they are funny because they bring out the irony and sarcasm and all the dumb things in life that people are sometimes afraid of talking about and hak just says whatever he wants to say, even if he knows it might be hurtful or upsetting

he prioritises truth and honesty over anything else

it makes you a better person, honestly

beach walks - very calming, very liberating. he lets you yell and scream and kick sand back into the water because you can, and he does it with you

tries to teach you how to skip rocks but you suck and you can’t so he just pulls you away from the pile of rocks you amassed

“flick your wrist like that, not like you’re meowing!”

SUNWOO - SOCCER FRIENDLIES AND STUDIO SESSIONS

he will NOT go easy on you in a friendly match: you might be one of the fastest players of the female team but he’s ruthless in his ball-stealing, so even if you were fast enough to keep the ball out of his reach, he’d still be able to snatch it right out between your feet

very, very competitive and does not like to lose

you would always play the ‘ladies first’ card but then he’d throw the ‘feminism’ card back at you 

sometimes you act more like siblings than anything else 

the only time when he isn’t fuming with competition is if you’re injured because he accidentally tackled you - he’ll gracefully give himself a yellow card before absolutely trashing you in the next match

has one foot into the production game recently - likes to play with the beat board and mixing tunes, and since you’ve had your hand in doing music remixes for a deejay job before, you’re there to identify which songs have the same bass line or beat counts for easier mixing

would make you a playlist of remixes but wouldn’t admit that he spent a whole day in the studio without you just so it would be a surprise

a soft boy stuck in the wraps of an egoistic man

“a day? please. i illegally downloaded half these remixes off the internet cause i’d think you’re too internet-dumb to find them.”

ERIC - BAKING AND SKATEBOARDING

full of impromptu, casual ideas to hang out 

baking is a fucking mess - why did he suggest it when he doesn’t even have the right ingredients?

wanted to replace eggs with water - like ok thats supposedly healthier, but why????????????

he likes cleaning so that was the only fucking bonus in baking - had to call his mom for help halfway through because the cookies looked more like goop than playdough

gave up in the end and he repaid his debt by helping clean your kitchen

tried to teach you how to skateboard, but he ended up falling off his own in the process and now he’s got a grazed knee 

the kind of person you’d have so much chaotic fun with, he’s that friend your mom told you to NOT hang out with that much if not you’d get run down by a car 

has the most fucking random pieces of clothing in his wardrobe, like where did he even get that pink coat from?

“no you have to do this and like lift up your leg and then kinda rest your weight on it before flicking your ankle and like- whOA- OH OW OHNO OHOHOH OW”

[buckyswintersoldiermask]

Frozen in Time

Bucky Barnes x reader

(Additional characters; Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers) (not my pics, found them on google)

Bucky Masterlist

Request: @teebarnes requested...”I don’t know if this is too big of an idea but I’ve always wanted to see something where Bucky and Steve’s rolls were actually switched. Bucky was the short, small brown-haired boy who was always rejected in the enlistment. Steve on the other hand, was the tall buff sergeant who enlisted in the 107th. I’ve always wondered how their personalities would portray the switched rolls. (Then ofc, maybe they meet y/n in the 1940’s who also becomes a supersoldier, love interest is Bucky? Sorta like a Peggy and Steve Scenario. EXPECT LEAVE OUT STEVE LEAVING BUCKY 😭 still hurts) yeah… sorry it’s long...”

Summary: Childhood bestfriends find each other again after going down different paths, two of them get closer than others.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: angsty, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of death, mentions of family death, a mention of a needle, mention of being knocked unconscious, mention of handcuffs, mention of guns and knives, mention of Steve being dead, some fluff towards the bottom.

A/N: thank you for the request! I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to do this but I tried! I did not mean to make it sooo long but I hope you like it. This is loosely based off a bunch of marvel movies.

Italics is what’s happening outside of the readers pov.

Between 1927- 1930

“Hey, Buck! Steve!” You said as you ran over to your friends. Bucky had a black eye, which you already knew was from an alley fight. After being best friends with them for years, you knew exactly what kind of guys they were. Bucky was small, had asthma, scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, sinusitis, heart palpitations, bone/joint deformities. Steve on the other hand, was tall, buff, had no health problems and was a ladies man. Steve was perfect for being in the military, Bucky was not.

“Bucky, another fight?”

“I was just walking home and some guys wanted trouble.”

“Buck.”

“They wanted a fight, so I gave it to them.”

You glanced at Steve for a minute who had a judgemental look on his face. Bucky was always getting beat up. But he was tough as nails, he didn’t let them get to him. Steve would come in multiple times when Bucky was getting beat up in an alley. Telling him the same thing. “I don’t like bullies, but you certainly do attract them.”

“(y/n/n), to where?”

“I don’t know, my mother hasn’t told me.” You replied, staring at your two best friends. “I don’t want to go, but I have to.”

“Make sure you come and see your best friend and Steve before you leave.” Bucky teased, hoping he’d make you smile.

Which he did, he always made you smile. “I wouldn’t dare leave without seeing you both.” You replied, looking at the both of them, Bucky looked over at Steve and then back at you. Bucky didn’t want you to go, he honestly had a big crush on you. Steve knew and always teased Bucky about it.

The very next day before you and your family left you went to see Steve and Bucky. Giving them both extremely long hugs and parting words you wanted to leave them with. You told them that you loved them and hoped they would do amazing things in life. You also hoped deep down they’d never forget you.

That evening you and your family left Brooklyn, not knowing where you were heading.

1943

“The 107th, Sergeant Steven Rogers.”

“Look at you, (y/n) would be proud.” Bucky complimented Steve in his uniform, “This is an amazing thing, like she said”

Steve joined the army. He always hated bullies so him joining the army was a perfect fit for him. Bucky on the other hand tried to join the army to be with Steve, but he was never considered a soldier.

You and your family had found a new place to live, but you should’ve just stayed in Brooklyn. Your parents were barely having enough money to provide. So you decided to go and look for work. What you found was some really nice people who adopted you and your family. They offered you a place to stay at, everything was going well until it wasn’t. You were found snooping around the parts of the house that were off-limits.

That was a mistake, the guards first thought was to get rid of you, but the boss had other plans.

“No, no, no, I have to get back to my family, please!” You cried out before you were knocked unconscious. You could not remember how long you were stuck in a cage, crying out for help. Then came the day where they finally wanted to get you out. They dragged you to their lab when you saw a huge needle you became paralyzed you.

They threw you into the chair and strapped all of your limbs down. You laid there and closed your eyes, thinking about your family as they injected you with some serum. The serum coursed through your veins alarmly fast making you cry out in pain. They left you there strapped to the chair until you passed out. Before you could wake up again they put you back in your cell, they handcuffed you to one of the bars.

You woke up later, feeling all your senses heightened. You could hear how fast the guard's heart was beating, how low the other guard's blood pressure was. As one of them walked by, you went limp so they wouldn’t suspect you survived the serum. And they didn’t, they opened your cell, unlocked your handcuffs and threw you over one of their shoulders.

This was your chance to run. You pushed the guard with your body and he fell, you landed on your feet and looked for an exit. Guns were being shot at you, knives thrown at you as you dodged them repeatedly. You were almost out until you ran into a tall, muscular man. You tried to get by but he was quicker and punched you, making you fall on the floor.

“Put her back in her cage.”

3 guards grabbed you and threw you back into your cell. The big guy that knocked you out was talking to the other guards which made you worry, you heard a little of what they said;

“We need control over her.” ‘We can’t let her escape.” “She’s going to be the face of HYDRA.”

HYDRA? What’s HYDRA? You didn’t know what was happening but you knew it wasn’t going to be good. The next few weeks they had you train. They were still trying to figure out a way to make you completely under their control. That’s when they brought in the cryogenic chamber, they wanted to control you but they didn’t want you to age.

What they didn’t know is that their operation was about to get blown up. Quite literally. A missile was aimed at their lab. You didn’t know it either. You were in cryostasis, unknown to the world. The lab was then blown up and you were thrown into the rubble. The missile killed all the guards, but the boss walked out without a scratch. And you stayed there, frozen in time.

2010

67 years. You were in that chamber under the rubble for 67 years.

SHIELD had been looking into HYDRA for a while now. They have been checking where they’ve hit, hoping to find survivors or people that know about HYDRA.

“Let’s get a team to go there, Is that Canada?”

“That lab has been destroyed since 1943, what's the point in even going there?” An agent questioned.

“Did I look like I asked for your input agent?” Fury snapped back, “Go and report back.”

A few agents flew to Canada, getting there they saw a bunch of caution tape and the city was pretty deserted. They looked around until they saw some glass, which led them straight to you.

‘Director Fury, there's someone in a chamber under the rubble’

‘Don’t open it, just bring them back.’

The agents used their equipment to get the chamber out and put you on the Quinjet. When they arrived they brought you to Fury and Maria Hill and he got a good look at you.

“I think this is (y/n), the missing person from 1943.”

“Director, are you sure?”

“We just have to find out.” The agent, Fury, and Maria Hill went into a rehabilitation room at headquarters so you wouldn’t have an overwhelming wake up.

They carefully unfroze you and waited for you to wake up. You eyes opened and you saw the harsh room light, when you were stuck in the lab all the lights were dull so this immensely caught you off guard. When you noticed no one dragged you out of the chamber you panicked. You jumped up and your eyes landed on Fury and Maria.

“(y/n)?” Fury asked, staying where he was so he doesn’t scare you.

“How do you know my name?”

‘You went missing in 1943 right?”

“More like kidnapped and held against my will, wait who are you?”

“I’m Nicholas Fury and this is Maria Hill.” He introduced.

“Why am I here? Can I go home? Where are my parents?” You frantically asked.

“(y/n), you’ve been frozen for 67 years.”

You knew he was lying. It has not been 67 years. “I- what, that’s not funny, take me home.”

“I’m sorry (y/n), you can’t go home.” Fury replied, glancing at Maria.

“Why not?”

“There is no home to go home to.” Once these words fell from Maria’s lips you felt broken. Your family? Gone. Your home? Gone. Everything you knew was gone and you couldn’t do anything about it.

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?” You spat, hoping this was some cruel joke. Fury and Maria moved and showed you a table with some big digital thing that you had never seen before. Maria clicked on it and 2 very ragged pictures of your family showed up, along with their death dates. You were speechless, your parents had died all while thinking you were dead.

“We can leave this here to give you some time.” Maria said before walking out of the room as Fury followed.

Later that Year (2010)

“(y/n), Natasha is going on a local mission, you can go with her.”

“I’d rather stay here and sort files.” You replied, grabbing your big stack of files. Fury had asked you a couple times if you wanted to go out and see what the world is like no but each time you said no. You weren’t ready. You were still wrapping your mind around the fact that you’re all alone in 2010. You helped around a lot since you practically lived in headquarters. You got the nickname “Fury’s niece” after a while. You didn’t mind it, you thought it was cute you had a nickname in the first place.

2014

Things were different than they were 4 years ago. You’d gotten used to being where you are now. Everything was familiar to you now. Though, you still tended to stay in headquarters rather than venture out. But that changed on one fateful day where you ran into someone you never thought you’d see again.

You were on your way to your favorite room to go learn some more fight tactics when you ran into someone. You quickly gained your composure and saw the person you ran into. It was Captain America. You ran into Captain America.

“Oh, hi, you’re Captain America.” You said, looking at his back.

He turned around and he spoke; “Hi, call me Bucky. You know if Fury is around here somewhere?”

Your mouth dropped open and you were speechless for a minute. Bucky? Bucky from when you were a child? That Bucky? That’s gotta be him, looks exactly like him, just… taller? bigger? You said to yourself as you memorized his face.

“Yeah, he’s in the meeting room down the hall.”

“Thank you, um, I didn’t get your name.” Bucky said.

“Agent (l/n), (y/n) (l/n).” You said in hopes he’d remember you.

Bucky smiled at you, “thank you, (y/n).” Bucky was walking away when he froze, turning back around. “(l/n)? That name sounds familiar.”

“Yeah, it was a very popular name in the 40’s.” You confessed, casually.

Bucky came closer to you, looking you in the eye, “(y/n), (y/n), from when we were kids?” You nodded as a huge smile rose on your face.

“In the flesh.” He was completely in shock that you're still alive. He pulled you into a big hug, that was definitely worth the wait. He was so shocked to see you.

“Wow, it’s so great to see you. I thought you died.”

“I’m very much alive.” You joked, “and you, you’ve grown a couple feet.”

He laughed, making you smile, you really missed that smile.

“So you’ve been working for SHIELD all this time?” Bucky asked, shifting his weight between his legs.

“Yup, since 2010, Fury found me and I’ve been here ever since, he’s like my adoptive uncle.”

“Well, I better not get on your bad side.” Bucky jokes, making you grin like an idiot.

“You never did.. back in the 40’s, you were actually on the opposite side.”

“I hope I can get back on that side.” You stared at him as he looked around, once you opened your mouth an alarm blared. Your eyes locked with Bucky and you nodded, telling him to go.

Never in a million years did you ever think you’d see Bucky Barnes again. No one thought to tell you that he was Captain America. After a few seconds memories flooded your brain. Where’s Steve? If Bucky is still alive maybe there's a possibility Steve is too.

“Hey, wait, Bucky, what happened to Steve?”

“Oh..He’s.. he’s dead (y/n).” And with that Bucky ran off leaving you to process that information.

You finally got closure with Bucky and now you need it with Steve. But you didn’t want to face the fact that he’s dead. So you ran to one of the tech rooms and typed Steve’s name in the database. Steve died after falling off a train on a mission with Bucky. Why didn’t Bucky tell you? You thought. Why wouldn’t he say that one detail that they were together when he died? You were all the way on the other side of the world so you had no idea for years.

Fury came in soon after your discovery. “What are you looking for?”

“Didn’t something happen? Why are you here?”

“Bucky, Natasha, and Sam have it handled.”

‘Speaking of Bucky, I didn’t know he was Cap. I honestly thought he was dead too.” You continued seeing Fury’s confusion, “Bucky, me and my other friend Steve were friends back in the 20’s.”

You were interrupted when Maria ran into the room, “Sir.” You and Fury both ran into the main room and pulled up facial recognition.

You froze once you recognized the face on the screen. “Steve Rogers, The Winter Soldier.” You mumbled to yourself in disbelief.

“Wait, so this extremely deadly Assassin that Natasha told us about.. Is Steve? Our Steve?” You repeated, making sure you understand.

“Yeah, He’s been with Hydra all this time, I saw his face after his mask came off.” Bucky said, recalling when Steve showed up and attacked them on the street.

“What are the odds that we all became super soldiers?”

“I thought-.”

“Bucky, none of this is your fault, you thought he died. I mean falling from such a height, he should've died. We all should be dead, but for some fateful reason we aren’t.”

“Now I have to go get him.”

“We have to go get him.”

“(y/n)..”

“Steve is worth it.” You two shared a smile before going to suit up. Once you were fully suited up, you found Bucky waiting for you in the hallway in his Red, White and Blue, looking oh so patriotic. “So when are you going to tell me how you became Captain America, you didn’t even want to join the army.”

“I will tell you that story, and you have to tell me how exactly you ended up here.”

“Deal, now let's go get Steve.”

2017

You and Bucky brought Steve to Wakanda so they could get HYDRA’s programming out of him. The both of you would come to Wakanda every once in a while and this time you and Bucky have gotten a lot closer.

“You’re exactly like you were when we were young, just more beautiful.”

“And you still flirt like a ten year old.” You made fun of him, “After all these years you still don’t know how to make a move.”

“Yeah I guess I don’t know how to make a move because the only doll I wanted was you.”

“You waited all this time,” you smiled, “well I guess it’s a good thing neither of us died.”

“I definitely agree.” Bucky chuckled before bringing your hand up to kiss it. “I wouldn’t have had the chance to do that,” he leaned closer to you, kissing your cheek, “or that.”

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)

Bucky Tags: @ragnaroqk @mollysolo @mogaruke @whothehellisbuckybarnes @amelia-song-pond @fredweazleyswh0re @tinylumpiaa @i-reblog-fics-i-like @weenersoldierr @stephthepeach @sammypotato67 @teebarnes @mxltifaves @supremethunda @hanniebee33 @gamerartisy @afraid-to-be-me @qhbr2013 @kidswhofightmonsters @chalametet @justreadingficsdontmindme @leyannrae

Taglist

[pure-a-tea]

thank you for all the questions!!! where do you get your inspiration from for your mobile themes, what’s your current favorite song and what would you say your aesthetic is?! 💕💕💕

omg- happily, sweetie!! and thank you for asking me back, i genuinely appreciate that <3 anyways, here are my long, boring-ass answers, lol. you don't have to read this, but i enjoyed writing this for you xx

re: "where do you get your inspiration for your mobile themes?"

i assume you're asking about my tumblr theme on mobile? 'cause if you do, i don't really get a specific inspiration. it's basically my preference for aesthetics. i will, however, explain more about it if you're interested, lol.

. colour theme: i went with a light blue colour (#7b8590) because i personally prefer desaturated colours; pastel-like. not really sure how to describe them, but basically faded colours that aren't too saturated or bright. i just feel like lighter colours are easier on the eyes.

. header: i found the stars and moon gif when i was scrolling through tumblr and i liked it so i thought i'd be nice to use a header with some dynamics to it. when i found that it fit the header size, i thought it looked better when it didn't stretch to fill it, and i actually thought it looked better when it gets a nice border with that setting.

. profile picture: i thought my profile picture was distracting and it was bothering me, so i disabled it. however, i was still looking for something because i noticed that my profile pic constantly shows up on different occasions. so, i chose that picture specifically because it wasn't too strong or distracting -- it gives my profile a nice, softer look. i also chose one with a subject that is close to my heart so it'd be more personal. like a personal blog, yk? and i really love cats, haha.

. bio: i just wrote some general info about myself, not wanting to overshare but still add something about myself. so i wrote my name with pronouns, age, sexuality, and my two fav people out of all of my fandoms. i thought it looked more spacious when i add space between each word and character (for ex. "( she / her )"). there isn't an option on tumblr to add a new line so i divided each subject with a "|".

re: "what's your current favourite song?"

i always find that question hard to answer because i have so many songs that i love, and i can never choose just one, lmao. if you don't mind, though, i will write my current top 5 favourite songs:

i. phantogram - black out days it's been in my top 5 songs on spotify for three years in a row, apparently!!

ii. billie eilish - happier than ever honestly i have so many favourite songs by her, but this one is probably the one i listen to the most. also, she was my top artist on spotify for 2 or 3 years in a row. unintentionally.

iii. the front bottoms - twin size mattress this song can just randomly pop into my head for no reason. and i love it!

iv. mitski - nobody lowkey can listen to this song on repeat and never get tired of hearing it!! and i love mitski!!

v. steve lacy - dark red i relate to the words a bit too much and i've been listening to this over and over ever since my recent breakup.

bonus: billie eilish - nda // arctic monkeys - 505 because they're both one of my fav artists and i've been obsessed with the parts that editors use on tiktok/insta edits.

re: "what would you say your favourite aesthetic is?"

that's such a tough one! because i don't have just one aesthetic, and it usually changed with my moods. for example, many people would probably say that my aesthetic is somewhere in the softcore or naturecore or even fairycore, and that is accurate on some days, but sometimes my aesthetics could be like grunge or vintage or darkcore... sometimes, i even have a dark academia or royaltycore.

funnily enough, my aesthetics could also come in colours! for example, i could suddenly have an aesthetic for everything blue (dark and light separately), yellow (because i have a hufflepuff heart), green (sometimes the nature green, but sometimes the evil/slytherin green). i also always have a place in my heart for purple, and in autumn i have a very strong red/orange aesthetic. one time i got a short pink aesthetic, lol.

ANYWAYS- this is it!! sorry that it's so long and i'm even more sorry that it might be boring, hehe... i really appreciate that you asked, it really warmed my heart <3

hope you have/you've had an amazing day xx

[misssophiachase]

Under Your Skin

Happy B’Day, @galvanizedfriend I am LATE, soooo LATE but this means the birthday celebrations just continue, right? I have a friend who celebrates her birthday for the whole month so....  

I made you a little thing in honour of this auspicious occasion (also, please tell me you got cake on the day, otherwise I will send you some lamingtons). This is part 1 with part 2 on its way. 

Thank you also to the lovely and talented @diaz-eddie for making sense of my pics and putting them together when I couldn’t. 

(Nik)

Monday

“Get your ass out here pronto, Nik!”

Who needs the snooze button when his employee is threatening to knock down the door with nothing but her fist. He’s seen Anna in action on her roller derby team and is fairly certain she can kick his ass today and probably into next week as well.

He begrudgingly leaves the warmth and comfort of his bed dressed in nothing but fitted, grey boxers but instead of answering the door he decides to make a detour. Eyes still firmly closed, he makes his way blindly to the bathroom and splashes some much-needed water on his face at the basin.

“You realise we can hear you, right? There’s no amount of pampering that’s going to make that face pretty enough, Niklaus,” he winces, knowing she’s using the full version of his name to invoke his absent sister on purpose.

Apparently Anna has recruited Lexi to torment him as well. Given her mixed martial arts training he doesn’t want to mess with her either. All he needs now is…

“Afraid of some girls, Mikaelson?”

Like clockwork, Bonnie makes up the trio. Given her psychic abilities of course she knows he’s afraid of them. She practices magic, probably has a list of his future mistakes documented for blackmail purposes and may or may not have a voodoo doll with his name on it.

Growing up he thought having Rebekah as a sibling was tough but now he has three more and all are ready to converge on him as soon as he opens the door. It’s lucky he decided against giving them keys. Granted he’s their boss and lives upstairs from his establishment but Nik isn’t a fan of the sleeping with one eye open concept.

“We have an incredibly opinionated, talkative and highly-strung person who would like to make a formal complaint to the owner about a certain tattoo from the weekend. Also, Enzo called her gorgeous and let’s just say it didn’t go down too well.”

“Oi! I can hear you, Bennett, given I’m standing right here. In my defence, Niklaus, she is gorgeous and what woman doesn’t love a compliment?”

His friend from college in Rhode Island, while being extremely talented, has little-to-no customer service skills. Nik also, rather unfortunately, noticed a spark between him and his younger sister during her last visit and has been trying to block it from his memory ever since.

“Uh, when they’re making a complaint and are seriously pissed. I say we muzzle him for good,” Anna offers.

“I second that,” Lexi agrees.

Nik wonders if any of his employees actually work given their current and incessant bickering at his front door. He decides then and there a move might be a good option.

Like most, Monday is his least favourite day of the week but he’s fairly certain it isn’t for the same reason. Nik likens it to the moment a weekend hangover finally passes and clarity makes an unwelcome return, complete with a litany of regrets.

Being owner of one of the top tattoo studios at Venice Beach, Nik doesn’t see tattoos as regrets. Far from it. He has a plethora, all telling a story.

His story.

The good, the bad and the downright ugly.

Unfortunately, others don’t see it the same way, much like the person downstairs ready to ruin his day and all before he’s ingested some much-needed caffeine.

“Happy Monday to me,” he mutters, not bothering to look in the mirror before scrambling to find some clothes.

Ten minutes later he appears in his usual uniform of fitted jeans and a suitably hued henley, probably more disheveled than he’d like but given his unorthodox wake up call, it’s hardly surprising.

As he makes his way down each step toward the studio floor, his eyes immediately dart towards an impatient looking blonde at the front desk. Blonde waves caressing her shoulders, pink lips and blue eyes that perfectly match her shirt. She’s standing there impatiently while tapping her perfectly manicured nails on the front desk.

He isn’t blind, she’s beautiful, but at the same time there is something in her eyes and overall body language that spells the bad news he’s expecting. He’s disappointed but when their eyes lock, he does his best not to betray his real feelings.

This is business, after all.

“Well, finally,” she snaps. Even with that frown, he’s trying to reconcile the fact she’s complaining but he’s extremely attracted to her at the same time. “I’ve only been waiting for fifteen minutes. I hope you enjoyed your sleep-in while I’ve been languishing out here.”

“Thank you, I did,” he murmurs lazily, noting the way she purses those lips while her eyebrows rise curiously. “So, what can I help you with Ms…”

“Forbes,” she utters and he doesn’t miss the way she fumbles something so easy as her surname. It’s cute, but he isn’t supposed to think that. He’s also not supposed to be perusing just how well she wears fitted denim either.

Read the rest on AO3 HERE

[kekoma]

— oikawa as your boyfriend.

it’s the lack of ass for me. oikawa simps come eat. hope you enjoy.

hmm.. just gonna blink twice and 😀 where’s his ass..? can’t go around smacking bones.

anyways— i know... this man gets a bad rep. 

some may believe he’s not fit to be in a relationship because of his attitude, flirty personality that attracts a lot of girls and blah blah blah.

and it’s been said he once had a girlfriend yet it ended due to obsession love for volleyball.

BUT hear me out.

dating oikawa is possible and it’s not as bad as some paint it out to be.

plus you can either help iwa bully your boyfriend or prevent him from getting his ass beat. all up to you.

but seriously, dating toru is actually sweet and not entirely problematic.

his love for volleyball tones down a bit ever since he started dating you and he isn’t that tough on himself too when it comes to the sport.

your words mean a lot to him and if you say he’s the best then he believes it, opting to take it easy on himself for once all because of you.

something to mention— when the dating news broke out and his fan girls wanted to come after you, he was there to protect you with the help of iwa. scolding them to the point that they would almost cry.

doesn’t even care if he’ll end up losing some because you come first and that’s final.

and if there are delusional ones that still manage to bother you by saying that he really doesn’t love you or that they’ll steal him away— toru would deadass give you his jacket and kiss you right in front of them.

he doesn’t play around when it comes to you.

those butthurt girls will just have to accept that he’s no longer available, his heart solely belongs to you and volleyball.

side fact: your relationship with him is also considered goals to those at school— they can’t help but wish they had something like you two do.

def not insecure about losing you though since he’s confident about how much you care and love him.

so he won’t snoop through your phone, doubt you or go overboard to keep your attention.

but if he ever did feel slightly insecure, he’ll probably ask iwa for advice before asking you up front how you feel; even if he normally believes your words.

sometimes he just likes to verbally hear you say how much you love him. nothing more. nothing less.

now if you get insecure— it’s a bit impossible to be honest.

toru won’t admit to it but he’s vv clingy when he’s with you.

you’re the first person he generally cares and love that isn’t his best friend or nephew so automatically, he can’t help but want to be with you.

and speaking of nephew— he has introduced you to him and finds it adore how quick you two became friends.

definitely takes pictures of you two together and even puts them into a folder titled ‘my two favs’ or something cute.

but when you aren’t around his nephew to take pictures then oikawa loves taking pictures with you in the mirror.

something about them just hits different for him and he most likely posts some of those pics on his sns.

if you’re an amazing cook/baker and you end up making his favorite, milk bread, then he’s definitely bragging to iwa about it.

“heh look what my lovely y/n-chan made me~ milk bread and you know-”

“y/n makes the best... keep reminding me dumbass and i’ll end up eating it while kicking your ass...”

“how rude.. can you really treat a friend that cruelly when all he wants to do is talk highly about his lover’s cooking skills?”

“yeah. now stop reminding me. i’ve tried her food before.”

“so rude— wait... what?”

also toru LOVES to brag about you to the team.

you could literally do anything simple and he’ll just tell the team about it.

proud baby activities all day long. NO BREAKS.

he’s definitely the type to send good morning and good night texts.

sometimes he’ll ask if it’s alright to facetime during the night because he wants to fall asleep to your voice and the thought of your face being the last thing he sees makes his dreams 10x better (in his opinion)

but this mainly happens when you aren’t able to go over to his place and he can’t come over to yours due to distance.

if you end up staying at his place or vice versa, you both will probably talk about the most weirdest topics.

“do you think kangaroo milk taste good?”

“i mean maybe but have you ever thought about what bat milk taste like?”

“you know... that’s a good one toru. what the— maybe it’s rich because they eat fruits!”

“they also eat bugs princess, never forget the bugs.”

def the type to tease you occasionally and buy gifts because it just screamed your name so he couldn’t resist buying it.

nicknames. let’s talk about them quickly since two have been mentioned.

top nicknames are... 🥁🥁🥁 princess, y/n-chan, gorgeous, cutie/little cutie and love.

long awaited but pda—

in public, oikawa will do it all. he isn’t afraid to be extremely affectionate with you at all. mans is balls deep in love with you.

hugging you before picking you and planting soft kisses all over face is just an example of what he’ll do.

sucker for kisses. whether it’s random, extreme sweet that it rots your teeth or lustfully— he’s gonna find a way to get his lips on yours.

but of course he tries to keep his touches on the PG side since he isn’t in the mood to be scolded by iwa or anything.

as for private; he’s a sucker for cuddles. always wanting you to run your fingers through his hair because it brings him to ease and makes him sleep faster.

also loves laying on your chest and drawing little shapes on your skin. 

anything vv intimate, he loves it.

also gotta add that the kisses follow too when it’s in private.

dates. OH MY DATES.

 stargazing? yeah. boba tea dates? yeah. going shopping together and getting some matching items? yeah. making a fort out of pillows and blankets just to go on a movie marathon together? heh yeah.

as long as the date considered cute and chill— then oikawa does it, but the main thing he looks for on these dates is talking. 

he loves how well connected you two become over topics/situations, even if he may disagree with a few. he likes knowing your thoughts and opinions surprisingly.

i’ll end this before it gets any longer... so to concluded; oikawa is a great guy. even if i dislike him at times— would def recommend dating this ass less man <3

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 30

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, fluff

; Warnings: Discussions of sex, questions of consent (no rape, don’t worry), body issues, body weight issues, self-esteem problems, self-confidence issues, brief mention of self-harm thoughts, mentions of bullying

; Word Count: 4.2k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This chapter is one pretty close to me and might be tough for anyone else who’s also overweight or has been overweight during those tough times in school! Don’t worry about the MC, she’s okay. There’s no rape, the consent thing is briefly mentioned as a question. Please reblog this if you enjoyed so others can read, leave me comments or asks so I can know what you think :) only 10 more chapters left...

; Flower Masterpost

-

Giggling quietly to yourself, you scroll through the pictures on your phone carefully. It takes you forever to finally move onto the next one as you feel the need to carefully scan over each one in depth to catch all the little things. There’s so much to find in each picture and you spend as long as you can looking them over in amusement, grinning at the odd fashion choices.

“What are you laughing at?” Hoseok asks, coming over from the kitchen with a fresh glass of water for you and a cup of peppermint tea for himself. He’d only been home from work for about ten minutes while you’d been home for over half an hour now. Taking a sip from your glass, you smirk at him slightly as he sits next to you with a deep sigh.

Tiredness is etched into his face today, the dark circles under his eyes a little deeper than usual. He’d been struggling to sleep lately for some reason, waking up repeatedly apparently. Reaching over, you gently cup his cheek and stroke his skin softly, enjoying the welcome smile he gives before you turn your phone around to let him see.

“Interesting hair. How many jars of hair gel did you go through when you were a teenager?” You tease him, watching as his eyes widen when he realises what the photo is. It’s of Hoseok when he was a teenager; maybe fourteen or fifteen and with what looks like a bucket of grease on his head. The spikes of his hair turn quickly into an overly long hairstyle in the next picture, straightened but with a distinctive fringe covering one eye.

“You had an emo phase! Look at you! All that eyeliner and those neon streaks. I never had an emo phase, you know. I don’t think I had any phase to be honest. Except for a horse phase when I was really young.” Hoseok goes to grab for your phone, his mouth pulled into a cringe as you scroll to the next picture and reveal yet another emo looking Hoseok with an abundance of sweatbands, colourful wristbands and more. He looked distinctly drunk, even though he can’t have been more than sixteen.

It’s so strange seeing Hoseok with slightly chubbier cheeks, his body gangly and lean in that teenage boy way as it went through the process of puberty while his face still maintained such a youthful look. Despite that, you can see the template for the statuesque face he’d end up with already in the pictures. The elegant slope of his nose was still pretty, even if he’d not quite grown into it at that point and a jawline that’s not quite as strong as it is now.

“Mom sent you this, didn’t she?” He groans, rubbing at his eyes before peering back at the phone through gaps between his fingers. Chortling softly, you shake your head before looking back at the screen.

“No, actually. She put them on her Facebook. Apparently she found the pictures while cleaning and scanned them in. Reminiscing about your wild years.” That makes Hoseok make the strangest noise, a combination of a groan and a shout. He’s looking at his own phone instantly, face palming when he sees the pictures.

“Moooom,” He whines pathetically, looking through them. You place your phone down on the coffee table and shuffle closer to him, letting yourself see the photos through his screen. Glancing at his face, you take in his slight frown and the pout of his lips, hoping he’s not too annoyed that his mom has put them up.

“Are you angry at her?” Shaking his head, he sighs deeply before letting his phone drop onto the table too.

“Not really. Just...it’s more embarrassing. Though, isn’t that her job at this age? As you can see through; I’ve always been good looking. Maybe not always with the best style admittedly but...at least the music is still great. My Chemical Romance remains one of the best bands in my opinion, even if they’re not as heavy as what I listen to now.” Rolling your eyes, you pull your legs up and rest a hand on your knee.

“I mean...it was certainly a style.”

“So come on then, I’ve shown you mine. Where’s your embarrassing teenage pics?” Hoseok teases, sticking his tongue out at you playfully. The silver ball of his tongue piercing catching the light momentarily before it disappears into his mouth once more.

Awkwardly, you smile back at him before shrugging slightly. The sudden change in your behaviour is obviously noticeable as Hoseok frowns, tilting his head in a silent question at you. Licking your lips, you realise that you’re playing with your fingers. A nervous habit.

“I don’t have any,” At the confusion Hoseok shows, you clear your throat. “I mean, outside of graduation photos. I...I wouldn’t let myself be photographed back then.”

“Wha-, seriously? Like...none? I don’t think my parents would have let me, even as grumpy as I was to them all the time.” You can understand why he doesn’t understand. There’s not many people you can think of who have near enough zero pictures of those years. For many teenagers today, the very idea of not having a million pictures might be unthinkable.

“Have you ever been overweight?” You ask quietly, the question seemingly random as you lean into him until he has to wrap his arm around you to make it comfortable. For a moment, he doesn’t respond. Being with him for well over a year now means that you’ve come to understand him, the knowledge that he’s not ignoring you but considering your question carefully.

“No. Can’t say I have.” He finally answers, running his fingers along your arm slowly. 

Twisting your lips, you sigh heavily and let your head fall back against his shoulders as you let your mind wander back to when you were younger. Back to where your insecurities began, all those years ago. Swallowing hard, you decide to go ahead with it. You’d alluded to it enough and now felt like the right time to finally talk about your formative years.

But your breath stutters, throat closing tighter as you realise it’s hard to go back to then. To when you were so easily hurt and affected by everything. Even in the safety of Hoseok’s embrace, you felt the tremor of fear and anxiety as your memories came back tainted.

“I have. I mean, when I was a little kid, I was like a stick. I could eat whatever I wanted and I used to spend so much time running around having fun. We don’t have too many pictures from back then; my parents couldn’t really afford a camera. Occasionally they’d get a disposable one but that’s about it. But...when I hit puberty around twelve or thirteen...I just kind of, ballooned? I don’t think I even realised it at the time, but it’s like my metabolism just plummeted or something. And before I knew it...I was the fat kid in class.” The heat in your eyes tells you that you’re on the verge of crying and you take a moment to breathe, blinking hard before looking up at the ceiling.

Hoseok remains quiet, letting you tell him without interrupting or anything.

“I mean...no one outright bullied me or anything, you know? It wasn’t like in the movies where you’re getting beaten up or shoved into lockers. It was more...the comments, the looks and just the general knowledge that you’re not attractive. Teenagers are really good at making those sly comments that are so hurtful, especially when you’re so young and still finding yourself. It’d be like...we’d be watching something and a pig would turn up on the screen and somebody would snicker and say it was me. Or someone else would joke about dating me and...I could just tell that it was an insult. And that their reasoning was my weight.” The arm around you tightens suddenly, as if hearing the casual cruelty you’d endured had ignited Hoseok’s protective instincts.

Memories flit by in your mind as you recall incidents; someone in your class finding out your crush and spreading that you liked them. Their disbelieving snort as they looked you up and down, their eyes falling heavily on your stomach before saying it would never happen. Without even realising it, you’re cradling your stomach now. Still not flat like you’d always fantasised, but not like it used to be.

You didn’t hate it now at least. Never loved, but not hated anymore.

“That...that sticks with you. Something I’m not too sure people realise is that, like, when you’re overweight...you’re constantly aware of it. It’s not just your body, it’s your life. It is you. There’s this weird mentality that people think overweight folk don’t know it, that you’re oblivious. You’re never oblivious. You’re not allowed to be oblivious. People make sure you’re aware, you know? The people telling you it’s unhealthy or it’s ugly and stuff. If you’re overweight, you’re well aware of these issues. But trying to resolve them is just as hard. You go to the gym and you’re aware of all the fat rolls, the way you jiggle and roll. How you’re out of breath doing the simplest thing while super fit people are probably watching you in disgust, even though you’re there to get fit,”

“If you eat, then you feel uncomfortably aware that you’re not just eating. That you’re fat and eating. So you become self-conscious over food. If it’s something healthy like a salad then you just think everyone is laughing at you. ‘What’s she bothering with that for?’. If it’s unhealthy then it’s more like, ‘of course she’s eating that, the lard ass’. You’re hyper aware of every aspect of your life and that’s the worst thing. Just...being so aware. You’re convinced that everyone is judging you, staring at you or talking about you. I felt so many times when I was like, fifteen or sixteen that I just...took up more space than I should.” Wiping at your eyes, you sniff before looking at Hoseok and giving him a watery smile.

The concern on his face for you makes your heart swell, the knowledge that he’s listening to you openly. That he cares. Even if you’re exposing a part of you that you’ve never let anyone see. Not even Chungha or Soyeon. It had felt far too personal, something that they couldn’t understand.

“It’s like...everyone has a certain amount of space they’re allowed to have, but when you’re fat, you realise that you take up more. And you become so aware that other people don’t like that. That they’re disgusted by the idea, and you become afraid of things like...sitting on a seat in a bus because you’re terrified of spreading past your ‘space’. Or sliding through a small gap and the panic that you’re just being...too much. I’d always try and run to the school bus when class finished so that I could find a seat first. And I’d always let the other person sit next to the window so that I could hang as close to the edge as possible and get off quickly. Then I’d panic that I’d look disgusting to others, half-hanging off the seat. I just...it affects you. Mentally. You just do things differently because you’re always aware of your body. In negative ways,”

“I’d never go swimming with anyone else. Mandatory swim classes left me panicked because it meant people would see me. See all the lumps and the bumps, everything I hated. I’d never look at myself naked in the mirror, or even in my underwear because I hated it. I was disgusted. I used to fantasise about just...slicing off bits of me to make myself nice and thin. I don’t even know if that’s normal.” Your voice breaks slightly, going slightly hoarse as you recall the pure hatred and revulsion you’d felt for yourself back then. The way your body felt like a cage you were trapped in.

Sitting up straight again, you take a deep breath to fortify yourself before smiling at him gently. Taking his hand, you squeeze it for reassurance and feel comforted when he squeezes back.

“I hated myself. Didn’t ever think I was going to be anything amazing. Or that I’d ever fall in love. How could anyone fall in love with me when I hated myself, right? When I was seventeen, I finally took the plunge and joined this free gym. Started eating healthier. It was really hard. I hated it so much. Vomited everywhere from the exercise, cried a lot. I wanted to lose weight healthily though, not too fast otherwise I’d end up thin but with skin flaps. So it was gradual. I wasn’t hugely overweight thankfully, but I only felt finally happy when I was nineteen.” Now you laugh at yourself, rolling your eyes and poking at your stomach in amusement before kissing Hoseok’s cheek playfully.

He doesn’t laugh back, causing you to kiss him gently. A silent way of letting him know that you’re okay, that it’s okay for him to laugh and smile too. When you pull away, he hesitates for a moment before giving you a slightly awkward smile. It’s enough for you.

“That’s why I didn’t have any experience until college. I was nineteen when I met Chungha and Soyeon in class. They were like...these ridiculously beautiful girls who were so confident and full of life, you know? Partygoers and everything. And I wasn’t. But somehow, we found things in common and it’s like...they knew I needed encouragement. So, it was slow but...I did stuff. I went to the parties...hated them just as much as I thought I would. Finally kissed a guy; wasn't as good as I thought it’d be. Lost my virginity to a random guy at a party in some house when I was twenty. Also wasn’t that good. The extent of my dating life was a few guys who didn’t last long. Both in terms of relationship and sex.” You grin at Hoseok, wiggling your brows and causing him to chuckle in amusement.

His chest gets a little bigger as he pushes it up, a smug look on his face. “All those memories obviously pale in comparison to my amazing kissing and sex skills.”

Snorting, you push at him playfully before reaching up and pulling him down, hand resting on the short undercut hair on his neck as you bring him into a kiss. Hoseok obviously wants to prove his skills, kissing you a little more intense than you’d expected but you just laugh into it before pulling away and smiling at him happily.

“Well...I’m not going to say you’re wrong. It did kind of depress me a little that it seemed guys were only interested when I was a bit thinner but, I also felt a weird sense of pride. That I’d finally done it. Gotten what I thought I’d wanted. Until I realised I hated that whole scene and wanted nothing to do with it. So...I just kept myself as in shape as I could over the years and tried to come to terms with myself. As you know...I’m not quite there. But I’m better than I was, I promise. I just feel a little bad that I was convinced being thin would change things. It changes some stuff but...not everything.”

You can tell that Hoseok isn’t entirely sure what to say. It isn’t surprising really, you wouldn’t have any idea how to respond to someone telling you all these sad things they’d experienced either. But then again, you were just generally useless when it came to anyone else’s emotions and feelings.

When he does finally speak again, his question surprises you completely as it seems to have nothing to do with what you’d just been telling him. 

“Did you drink alcohol back then? I know you don’t drink it now because you don’t like the taste but if you went to parties…” He trails off, his face twisted in question as he considers what you’ve said. It was true that you didn’t like the taste, hence why you never drank it. You also just preferred to drink something like water as it was much healthier for you.

“I did. Too much. When I started going to them, I threw myself into the alcohol as it helped me to overcome my shyness. A drunk me is apparently very outgoing. I also have very little inhibitions when I’m drunk. Pretty sure the only reason I first kissed a guy was because I was completely fucked. And I’d drank a lot when I lost my virginity; there was no other way I was going to get naked in front of a guy.” You don’t notice the instant concern on Hoseok’s face when you say that, your gaze far away as you stare unseeingly at the TV screen.

You’re too busy remembering those wild years in college. Or what you can remember anyway. Another reason you hated alcohol was the way you didn’t feel in control of yourself and your emotions while inebriated along with the way you often end up forgetting parts of a night. Why anyone could possibly enjoy that all the time was beyond you.

“You...I hate to have to ask this but...you did...consent to it. Right? It wasn’t like...forced on you?” Hoseok sounds intensely uncomfortable as he asks the questions, causing you to frown as you look back at him. “I just...if you were really as drunk as you say you were, then I mean, well, I just...I wouldn’t have been comfortable sleeping with a girl who would only sleep with me if she was completely inebriated.” 

He shifts in position on the couch, bringing a knee up so only one foot remains on the floor while taking your hands. The look on his face is completely earnest and filled with worry. For you. And you finally click as to what he’s talking about. Hoseok is concerned that you may have been raped for your first time.

Smiling at him gently, you squeeze his hands and shake your head. “No, no baby. Please don’t think that, I swear. It was consensual. I wasn’t that drunk. Just...enough to let me get over my worries. I needed the alcohol for the confidence and the lights off. I remember it all though. He wasn’t good but he wasn’t mean or anything either.”

His worry seems to decrease a little, shoulders lowering as he lets out a deep breath and you marvel for a moment that you’ve found someone who gets worried about things like that. Things that you hadn’t even bothered to properly consider. If you hadn’t been completely sure in the knowledge of your first time then you’d be concerned as well.

Leaning forward, you kiss his cheek affectionately before grinning at him and cupping his chin. “Thank you for being concerned about me though. I promise, I’ve never been forced into anything like that. I may not have enjoyed a lot of sex but I did it openly in the hopes of it getting better.”

Hoseok’s cheeks flush ever so slightly and you laugh sweetly, kissing his lips quickly before shifting back. Leaning against the couch sideways, you let your head flop onto the back and smile at him.

“So, yeah. That’s why I have no pictures of me from being a teenager. If you thought I don’t like being photographed now, then you’d be shocked to see me back then.” There’s a moment where Hoseok is stiff, unsure of what to do before he smiles back and shifts into a similar position, his head closer than you might have anticipated.

But you get the sense that he’s a little uncertain of how to proceed now.

So you make the move for him, gently pushing at him until he’s laying on the couch. The L-shape means he’s at the point the two halves connect, one half completely free except for Kasumi stretched out. But you want the safety and security of his body. Not only for yourself, but also to comfort him. Even if he hasn’t said it, you can tell he’s a little unsettled by your negative feelings towards yourself.

Hoseok let’s you move him with ease, smiling happily when you get yourself settled and comfortable. His natural scent is strongest at the base of his neck, and you inhale it happily while your arm rests over his waist. Even if you’d talked about your deep and painful teenage years as willingly as you could to him, it was still traumatic to remember. And you needed your own comfort to assure yourself that those years were over.

“Well, I don’t think you’d have wanted to meet teenage Hoseok. So it's probably a good idea we never knew each other.” Humming, you recall all the times Hoseok has told you about his own teenage years. Unlike you, he was much more open about them. Mainly because he acknowledged how bad he’d been.

“I doubt it would have mattered anyway. From what I’ve learnt from you, teenage Hoseok wouldn’t have given me one look. Nevermind two looks.” There’s a brief pause and you feel Hoseok’s chest rise as he goes to respond. He stops though and you chuckle, running your fingers along the soft material of his shirt over his stomach.

“...you might have got one look. I mean, I’ll be honest. I wasn’t exactly picky but that’s not a good thing. Just means I was an out of control teenager. Besides, it sounds like you were very shy and quiet. I was...not. Loud, brash, abrasive. Often drunk and high. God, I was terrible. I don’t know how my parents put up with me, honestly. I wouldn’t have wanted you to meet me. I’d have just hurt you even more.” Humming, you wiggle against him slightly and kiss his neck gently.

“I’m glad we met when we did. I think we’d both had enough time to grow and accept ourselves. There’s no way I would have reached out to you if I was still like my teenage self. And I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have said yes if you’d been like you were.”

“True. Three cheers for maturity! But on a more serious note; I’m glad you’ve told me. I figured there was something along those lines after all these months but...I understand more now. I hope I haven’t made you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.” Closing your eyes, you nuzzled closer to him while shaking your head.

“You haven’t. At least, not through anything you’ve done. It’s mostly been in my head. If anything...you’ve helped me to grow and become more...loving of myself. Just you accepting me has helped so much for my mind to understand that...well, I’m not ugly or anything. That you’re not judging me. And that you actually find me attractive. It’s a slow process.” You feel the press of Hoseok’s soft lips against your forehead, their warmth resting there for a few moments while the arm wrapped around you gently runs along your arm.

The very fact that you can talk with him like this is pure proof of the growth you’ve experienced over almost a year and a half with Hoseok. Just his welcome acceptance and love of you has created a safe space for you to explore yourself and grow comfortable in your own skin and mind. It was nice.

“I’m glad. And if I ever do anything that’s wrong, then please tell me. The last thing I want is to be an asshole by accident. Or remind you of a bad time.” Laughing gently, you smile and nod before tightening your arms around his waist fondly. 

“I mean...I’m still considering the whole lingerie thing. Especially those super revealing ones. I’d love to wear one but I just...don’t think I look sexy in them.” Pouting, you shift as Hoseok moves until he’s looking at you with wide eyes that quickly become stern. Poking your cheek gently, he tuts.

“I’m not gonna push you into that, but there’s literally no way you wouldn’t look sexy wearing black lace lingerie. Oh god. Just the thought of you in it makes me hard. But for now, I’m content with my mind for that.” The way he presses his hips against you lets you know that he’s being truthful, the mental image of you in the lingerie you’d bought on a whim the other month causing the erection that presses against you.

Grinning, you push at him until he’s laying back again and crawl on top of him, raising your brows. “I think you just get horny at the thought of sex full stop.”

“Well...duh. I’m a man. With a beautiful girlfriend. Whom I enjoy sex with.” Laughing loudly, you lean down and kiss his nose playfully. The whine he lets out when he tries to follow you for a proper kiss causes you to grin as you press at his shoulders, holding him in place.

“Glad to hear it.”