#it was so funny because i kept seeing nico with the scars and there was something scratching my brain telling me

[justanotherspeck]

I knew Nico's new scars reminded me of something. or should I say. someone.

it continues to be proven that nico di angelo and keith kogane are the same person.

[doevademe]

Percy is loosing a lot of blood and he s asked what s his type. What s his answer ? But this time meme the ask 🤪 go crazy 🤯 you re my fave percico writter after all

"That's a nasty gash," Percy said conversationally, leaning on the wall, as if said gash wasn't on his own torso, going from his left hip to below his right pectoral. "Might leave a mark."

"Are you for real?!" Kyler, the young demigod they were sent to fetch, screeched as he looked around. "You've lost at least a pint of blood already!"

Kyler didn't want to think what would happen once the guy's scary friend, Nico, found out what happened.

"Maybe your dad really is Apollo," Percy kept going, to the point Kyler feared he was going delirious. "If so, you won't like me much once you're at camp."

The young boy ignored him, just glad that the fight had happened inside his mom's workplace, which happened to be a freaking blood bank (Percy Jackson must be very favored by the gods he didn't know existed 5 hours ago)

"I need to know your type," he said. Percy winced.

"Just for the record," he said. "It wasn't my fault they broke up. Despite what anyone says, I didn't know they were fighting or that what I did could be seen as flirting!"

"Your type, Percy!" Kyler said impatiently.

Percy looked around confused.

"Not here," he answered.

"What do you mean 'not here'?! Every type is here!" If the blood loss didn't kill Percy, Kyler would be the one to finish the snake woman's job.

"Not mine," Percy said, melancholy. "You know it's funny. You never really think about these things until one day, you look at someone who used to watch over you but doesn't anymore, and you realize 'damn, I have never wanted anything more than to have that back'."

Kyler stayed quiet. His first instinct was to press Percy for his type again, but something about the mood made him shut up. Percy could be uttering his last words, and it would be rude to interrupt him.

"And... people see you and wonder if something's wrong with you, and there is, but... only because you took like seven years to realize it." Percy chuckled a little bit, only to since at the movement. "And you realize you do have a type. You love the acidic sense of humor, the roguish smiles, the sense that you can both protect and be protected by someone you've known for so long, who will never give you up, let you down... Or desert you."

Kyler blinked, perplexed. Was this demigod... Rickrolling him?

"I MEANT YOUR BLOOD TYPE, YOU MORON!"

"O Positive," a new voice spoke. Kyler jumped as Scary Demigod AKA Nico seemingly materialized out of a corner and looked at him unimpressed. "Why is no one pressing against his wound?"

Kyler's face dropped in shame as Nico approached the ailing demigod and inspected his stomach.

"My type is here!" Percy exclaimed happily. Kyler's eyes bugged out. Nico? The guy who looked like he would kill first, ask questions to your ghost later?

"You're lucky you got slashed, or a rag is what I'd be pressing against your mouth." While his voice was as even and threatening as ever, Kyler noticed how his expression softened and he smiled softly. "That would stop you from emotionally scarring children."

"Aww, babe, no need to be embarrassed," Percy gushed. "And the kid will hate me anyways once his cabin counselor talks to him."

"Forget the blood. The wound is superficial," Nico said. "There's a bag with squares of food in my backpack, give me that and something for him to drink."

Kyler yelped and obeyed quickly. He felt like an intruder on the scene, as Nico whispered stuff into Percy's ear, making him smile.

"So, what's your type, handsome?" Percy asked, looking at Nico. The other demigod rolled his eyes.

"Not sure, I'm debating if he has a death wish right now."

Percy guffawed for half a second, only to groan and hold his stomach right after.

Nico looked pleased with himself.

[happyk44]

Nico never wore armor. Hazel didn't understand it. Even in training, casually sparring, she made sure she had something to protect her chest, at the very least.

She darted back, swinging her scythe over her head like Mors taught her. When he'd seen her in action, Nico made her watch some cute little cartoon - anime, she remembered - about a girl who also had one.

Suffice to say, she had immediately attempted some of the moves from the show in her alone time.

Hazel leaned back, carefully watching Nico prowl a few feet ahead of her. She was always going to be much shorter than everyone else, so her range with the scythe was a lot more impressive than when she'd used her sword and didn't require getting up close and personal.

Nico didn't have that many feet on him either. In hindsight, it was funny. Their father towered over them, his natural height a mumbled seven foot something, kept down to a shorter six foot six at the behest of his wife, who topped out at average height.

Hazel's mother wasn't tall but she was average height too. She didn't have any clue about Nico's mother but he said she was a dancer so she could only imagine someone thin and tall, wafish.

Like an elf.

How that combined into one person barely surpassing five feet and another topped out at five three was beyond her understanding.

But it did make her giggle whenever she thought about it.

She admires the distance between them. This was a weapons-only battle. No other magics allowed. It still thrummed in her fingertips to blind him, to change his perspective and gain the upper hand.

It wouldn't work that well but it would let her shorten the distance between them once more. Nico, unlike anyone else she'd met, had a strange way about him. He was not impervious to other magics but it never seemed to quite stick with him.

Wildly guessing, she figured maybe it was from being raised in the Underworld. Surrounded by godly level magic on a daily. Maybe he was just good at breaking out of the control of others. Maybe, like some mortals and Mist, the difference was evident.

Maybe it was just because he was Nico.

Whatever the reason, she was proud. It gave her a way to keep improving. And he was always willing to be her training dummy when asked.

She licked her lips and swung her scythe down to the ground. The force of it rattled the earth. Nico jerked, off guard, looking around wildly, surprised.

She charged forward.

She eased up on the last few steps, seeing Nico turn back to face her, far too late, and grinned viciously. A gentle touch, a threatening pose against his neck, chest, whatever, and he was out.

Too bad the rocks under her feet had other plans.

She swore as she tripped, her scythe flying out of her hand as she reached out to catch herself before she hit her face. She looked up, watched with distant horror as her scythe shot forward the extra two feet, Nico stilled to the ground, a victim.

Her hand shot out, magic and shadows curling up around her wrist. It spiralled forward like a whip but missed the end of her scythe. It sank deep into Nico's chest.

And came barreling out the other side.

She stared, mouth gaped, tears springing to her eyes.

Then Nico walked forward, slow and languid and put his sword under her chin. "I win," he said.

She stared at him. Definitely alive. Super alive. She looked at her scythe. Looked back at him. Looked at her scythe. Then at the dirt beneath her face.

"Wait."

She held up a finger.

"What the fuck?"

Nico squatted and helped her up. She gathered her scythe back up. Twisting it upside down and pressing the blade into the ground, she shoved. It shrank down easy and she clipped the pendant into place around her neck.

Nico watched her amused. Slowly, she approached him. Squished his cheeks, checked his eyes, hefted his shirt up to look at his skinny scarred chest. No new wounds, no new scars.

It was like the weapon hadn't even touched him.

She took a step back. "How dare you not tell me you died."

He choked on a laugh. "I didn't die."

"Then what in the ever-loving shit-"

He laughed again and swung an arm around her shoulder. "Shadows," he said quietly. "Easier than killing myself."

She glared at him. She didn't like that new technique in the slightest. She understood why he taught himself it but that didn't mean she liked that he used it. Temporary could become permanent so fast.

Sheathing his sword, he lifted his hand in front of her face. Wordlessly, he twisted it. Then said, "Touch it."

She reached out and made to clasp their fingers together but instead her hand sank right through. Between their skin, a thin shadow had erupted. On the other side of Nico's hand, it had shot up as well, providing another exit for Hazel's fingers.

Like a miniature shadow-travel.

She withdrew her hand. Slowly she reached out again and felt only skin.

"That's cool."

He nodded. "It's harder to do though. And less automatic."

She leaned into his side and they began walking back to the barracks. "It's still magic though, right? Not like a blessing from Erebus or something."

He hummed.

She grinned. "Then you cheated and I won."

He scowled. "I would have died."

"Whatever!" She flicked his earlobe. "I won!" She pulled away from him, grabbing both his hands and tugging him around in a circle. "Also you have to teach me that one."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine."

[artsyxloner]

Not Just a Monster

Warning: blood, Voices

8: Caught

I sat on the toilet covering my nose with toilet paper as it bled heavily more than the last time. It just started right after Lecturing Suk-Hyun.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh even though I said most of those things in my head. Which they were true so I have nothing to be sorry for.

And nothing could justify his behavior it was plain out rube and Selfish. After a few minutes, I waited for it to stop bleeding. Thank God, I didn't see the monster again I couldn't deal with the Hallucinations at the moment.

I had more important things to deal with like not getting caught. I soon I was about to come out of the restroom until I heard someone come in. Peaking through the crack of the metal door I saw Ji-Soo going over to the sink and washed her face.

She had touched her Makeshift bat that had Bob wire was wrapped around it. Like she was remembering something. " it's Disgusting to see you act nice." Eun-yoo came in leaning on the door.

" do you think a Freaking chocolate bar is going to suddenly cheer her up?" Ji-Su scoffed lightly as water dripped down her face. " I think you're giving yourself too much credit."

" so you are the crazy bitch around?" Ji-Su changed the subject. " watch your back crazy bitch!" She swung up the bat making Eun-yoo jump back.

She walked out the door, I sat back down thinking what just happened so they did not like each other? If they didn't it was known of my business anyway.

Waiting a few more minutes for Eun-yoo to leave I checked seeing it was clear I came out of the stall.

Turing on the Sink Fossett cleaning my face and neck. Making sure I didn't miss a spot. I got ready to Go out when I saw Eun-yoo in front of the door.

She smiled and walked up to me, " so you're the next one?" She circled me I followed her movement not able to say anything. Would she tell?

Mustering up the Courage I nodded, " yes, I've been infected for a while even before I came here." I told Truthfully, Crossing my arms. " hum, must be nice not having to be locked up like Hyun-Su and Suk-Hyun."

I knew where she was going with this.

" But I don't blame you." She went to the mirror to check her reflection. I didn't expect her to say that at all.

From the way she talked to Ji-Soo, " my brother is just going to use you if he finds out." I looked at her Weirdly he doesn't or didn't seem to be like that?

" how do you mean?" I asked Deciphering what she means by use? " you know making you guys do Dangerous stuff for other people." She shrugged.

I shook my head, " that's the only reason Hyun-Su got to stay." She Confirmed, I thought he cared about him?  No, it can't be true then again I don't know these people well.

" are you going to Tell?" I asked as she made her way out of the restroom. She stopped her back facing me. " No, where's the fun in that? I get to see you slowly change into a monster plus it kinda cool."

She then walked away placing the headphones on her head again. I didn't know if I could trust her, everything she told me was it true they were just going to use us? Hyun-Su more in Particular since they know about him.

I should have known it there were people that in this world. But sometimes you had to get used to it to Survive. One thing was for sure I hope she kept her mouth shut.

Leaving the restroom I felt tired, from the lack of sleep I perceived and stress. I went over to the day-care- center to go take a quick nap. Laying on the small couch. Closing my eyes I soon fell asleep letting out a yawn.

....

" you know you want to!" My reflection spoke to me. Grinning evilly. I backed away not believing what I was seeing.

" what are you?" I breathed out scared. I covered my nose trying not to get blood everywhere. " I'm you but much worse." It giggled.

" This was you're own doing Soo-Nico, 'tsk tsk' I'm not the enemy here." That is when I started to feel funny like I was losing my grasp on my mind it began to fade.

Then hearing inhuman sounds I began to dash towards people for no reason.

....

I woke up to me hitting the ground, landing on my elbow. I cursed sitting upright rubbing my sore arm. Feeling something wet I wiped my cheek it was a tear.

I couldn't get that moment, day, out of my head. The day I attacked them, My family. Sniffling I crossed my feet taking out a photo of them from the field Journal I had taped in.

Me, my mother, father, and my brother, feeling more tears run down my cheeks I couldn't stop them. I missed their smile and laughs, the way Jin-woo would tease me about being a bookworm.

Bringing my knees up to my chest I clenched the photo Close to me. Hugging it as if they were here." it's not my fault." I wept quietly, trying to convince myself to not have such a burden on my shoulders.

I say this because I can't handle the guilt if I say it out loud so if I don't it's not real. Wiping my now wet cheeks my eyes probably looked red and puffy.

I reopened my filed Journal putting my family photo back in, deciding to take my mind off things I began to Sketch the new monsters I had seen starting with the one I first saw here the one that kept saying I can't see.

Drawling out its body, I soon put Details-down into it and some side pics of like when its fingers sprouted out like roots. I also wrote down its weaknesses and Strengths.

Then it was on to the huge monster I saw, I called it protein monster. It had a very creepy face when it smiled as its mouth was bloodstained. I quickly finished it up, but then one person came to mine.

Hyun-Su my pencil was close to the paper wanting to draw him. I felt my heart beating fast, if I did drawl him would it be wrong? Or just plain out weird without him knowing?

It wasn't because he was well a monster just like me or that's what they like to call us even though we are still human but I just wanted to draw him as himself.

Deciding to do it anyway I began with his eyes, they were big and round like they held innocence probably not but that's what I see. Next, I went to his nose, mouth, face shape, ears then lastly hair.

It was messy and fluffy but it seems like it wasn't always like that like he just had let it go. Shrugging it off I close my book and put it back in my bag.

Taking it with me because I didn't trust anyone yet I come out of the day-car-room and a man passed by me. He was smoking a Cigarette. One thing I noticed he had a burn scar on his face.

I haven't seen him yet before? Maybe I have but didn't acknowledge him. He was walking behind a guy with a deadly glare in his eyes. Deciding not to get into it I left I did trust the guy with the beat-up face he gave me the creeps.

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Warm Me Up Ch. 30

Click Here for Ch. 1

Click Here for Ch. 29

index

So someone asked for ch. 30? :) Feedback please!!:D

Will did his best to put himself into the orientation group as best he could. He was anxious to get back to Nico. He had gone over how to ask him on a date in his head over and over. He’d gone over every possible response he would get, he’d gone over how to lead up to it, everything.

He was driving himself insane. He just wanted to spit it out and ask.

Instead he was still saying goodbye to future freshmen, exchanging Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat accounts. When he was finally done, he returned to the others in charge of orientation and waited for them to clear the rest of their responsibilities. It almost seemed like they were prolonging on purpose.

It was late evening by the time Will was able to text Nico about going over again.

He knocked on the door and waited, feeling jittery. He wanted to wait to ask. He wanted to watch a movie or eat a Stouffer lasagna or something before asking about the date. He didn’t want to seem overly anxious and impatient about it… even though he was….

The door hadn’t opened. He knocked again and rang the doorbell. A few moments later, the door remained closed. He frowned and texted Nico again. He scanned the parking lot for his car and his motorcycle, and he found them quickly. So where was Nico?

He decided instead to call, but was forwarded to voicemail.

Panicking, he sent him a text again. Nico where are you? I’m worried.

No response. Will texted him again, asking if he was okay. No response. He called again and it was forwarded to voicemail.

He wanted to know he was okay. Even if he didn’t want to talk, Will was fine with that. Nico had told him he wanted to work on pulling himself up instead of relying on someone else, and Will understood that. He just wanted a response so he would know that he was safe, that he was okay.

And he wasn’t getting one.

It didn’t help that Nico’s friends were all out of town so none of them would know where the hell he was. Will hadn’t talked to him all day because he was busy with school, so he had no idea what might have brought on whatever state of mind he was in or even how severe it was.

He felt useless with only the phone in his hand. His messages and calls were getting him nowhere, and he had no idea on where to start looking for him if both of his transportation methods were parked nearby. He didn’t even know if Nico was receiving his calls and texts or if his phone was off or out of battery.

He began knocking on the door incessantly, calling back to back. He knew he was probably pissing Nico off, but he preferred dealing with an angry Nico than one that was unconscious somewhere. “Nico, open the door!” he called. “I’m begging you Nico, please!”

Finally, the door swung open and he saw Nico looking furious with a with messy hair and the same jeans from the last time he’d seen him and a tank top. The long scars on his arms gleamed white against his olive skin. “I have neighbors,” he hissed.

“Well you should’ve answered my calls or texts,” Will answered, just as curtly.

“I want to be alone, Will!” he shouted, running his hand aggressively through his hair. “Don’t you get that? I don’t answer for a reason, just go away and leave me alone! I’ll get back to you later just go away, please!” Will was about to ask if he was okay when Nico scowled and yelled, “I’m fine!” and shut the door in his face.

Feeling furious, Will groaned and turned away. He got in his car and got something to eat and went back to his dorm, not wanting to look at his phone. He was beyond angry. It wasn’t that he didn’t respect Nico wanting to be alone or wanting to deal with things on his own. He did. He knew that’s what Nico had been working on during the last few months with his therapist.

He just wished Nico would’ve let him know that he was okay.

Will couldn’t help but let his mind run. He wondered if Nico had given in and gotten drunk until he passed out somewhere. He wondered if he’d gone to do some reckless thing like he used to. He imagined him in the most extreme circumstances. All because he hadn’t answered.

Instead of mulling over Nico, he called Cecil and met up with him at his apartment where he was rooming with his older sibling. “Where’s your brother?” he asked.

“On a date or something,” Cecil answered. “Why do you looked pissed?”

“I’m fine,” he said, playing dumb. “This is a nice little place. You want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.” He opened the movie cupboard and beckoned Will over to look at some of the titles. They shifted through the movies and when they finally chose one to watch. While putting it on the door opened, and a guy who looked like Cecil but more chiseled and rugged walked in through the door.

“I thought you said he was on a date,” Will questioned.

“I said ‘or something,’” Cecil said. He turned to his brother. “Hey, Jake. This is Will.”

Hazel eyes flitted to Will and he waved. “Hey. I’m Jacob. What are you guys doing?”

“We’re about to watch a movie. Want to watch with us? It’s Blades of Glory.”

Jake smiled and nodded, going to the kitchen and pulling out popcorn before sitting with them. “I love this movie.” As the trailers played, the popcorn finished and Jake put it into a bowl for the three of them.

As the movie started, Will received a text. It was from Nico. Feeling spiteful, he ignored it and tossed his phone aside. If Nico wanted to be alone, fine. He didn’t get to just yell at Will then expect Will to forgive him with a snap of his fingers. Not after worrying him that much then getting mad at him for it.

He watched the movie with his friend and Jake, which he supposed he could count as a friend now. He was funny and seemed easy to get along with. He was about five years older than Cecil, but he didn’t talk down to them. The way he treated Cecil, with that playful fighting and teasing, but obvious affection, made Will wonder what it would’ve been like to have an older sibling instead of being the oldest.

After the movie, they were sitting on the floor laughing while Jacob drank a beer leisurely and Cecil munched on Cheetos and Will unwrapped Kit-Kat after Kit-Kat. “Hey, Will your phone’s lighting up,” Cecil noted, looking at the phone which was a few feet away from them.

“Leave it,” he muttered, chewing on his chocolate.

“Are you and Nico fighting?”

“No, not necessarily. I’m just mad at him.” Cecil raised an eyebrow and Jake furrowed his.

“Do I get an explanation?” he asked. “Do I want one?”

“It’s not important,�� Will said. Cecil crossed his arms and Will rolled his eyes. “What? It really isn’t. We’re not dating or anything. We’re just friends.”

Cecil threw a Cheeto at him and looked over at his brother. “They spend just about all day together, they’ve dated before, they are basically a couple now they just haven’t made it official! Sure as hell argue like one.”

Will felt his cheeks burning, and he looked down. “No we don’t,” he mumbled. “This is actually the first time we’ve argued since he got out of the hospital….” Will cringed at the memory. Before Will knew what was happening, Cecil grabbed his phone and unlocked it. “Cecil! That’s an invasion of priv- dammit why don’t I ever put a stupid lock on my phone.”

Cecil scrolled and frowned. “He’s apologizing and asking to talk.” Cecil looked up. “What happened?” Jake crawled over to read over his brother’s shoulder and furrowed his eyebrows. “You were pissed when you got here.”

“It’s stupid, okay, it’s not important!” he protested. He sighed and shook his head. “He disappeared so I kept calling to see where he was, to know if he was safe. I didn’t mind if he wanted to be alone, I just… panicked. So I got annoying I guess and he got mad at me and told me to go away so… I did. And now I’m upset because he was being selfish and now he wants to apologize and talk, but I’m not going to be at his beck and call anymore!”

“Whoa, okay, hold on,” Jake said, holding his hands up. “Look, I get it, you’re upset. But you’re doing the same thing he did to you. Isn’t that a little hypocritical?” Will hesitated. “I’m not saying to go to him now or something, I just mean tell him no or tell him to wait or something. Otherwise you’re doing the same thing.”

Will scoffed, but couldn’t deny that he had a point. He groaned and held his hand out for his phone. Cecil tossed it to him and Will scrolled through the handful of apologies and requests to talk. He finally managed to type out a response that wasn’t too passive-aggressive.

I’m a little busy right now. We can talk later. Feel better.

He put his phone up and crossed his arms. “Okay. Done. Now, can we get off this subject?”

“Why are you so upset if this isn’t a relationship?” Jake asked.

Will took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Because… I… um…. Well I wanted to ask him on a date… then maybe to actually… be my boyfriend. But if he’s going to keep pulling things like this-!”

“Wait!” Cecil shouted, cutting him off. “Before you finish that sentence and back out of this, can we just…. Dude, you need to communicate. Figure out what the hell his problem was, then explain yours. Fix the problem before it gets worse or repeats.”

“Communication is key,” Jake agreed. “Especially in relationships. Especially if this is your first fight in a while. Don’t let one bad day ruin all the amount of time you say you’ve had as friends. In a relationship, it’s not all perfect. There’s going to be arguments, but that doesn’t mean each one will be the last. You just… also shouldn’t make a habit of it. Make sense?” Will nodded and bit his lip. “Just talk to him once you’ve both slept on it. Then see if you’re still willing to try.”

Of course I still want to try, he thought. I love him. But he just nodded. Then Cecil grabbed another movie and the topic was left alone.

The next day, Will was reading a book at the park, trying to clear his head and stop mulling over the future conversation with Nico. Finally, his phone rang and he hesitated for a few seconds before answering. “Hello?”

“Um… I know this is really selfish,” Nico’s voice croaked on the other end, causing a cold feeling to spread through Will’s chest. “But I can’t handle today alone. I’m sorry about yesterday, I really am. I know you’re still mad, but… I… I….”

“I’m on my way, Neeks,” he said softly, not needing him to finish. He got back to his car and drove to Nico’s apartment, knocking hesitantly. When the door opened, Nico looked even more run down than the day before. He was in the same clothes, his hair more disheveled, his eyes tired and dim. “What happened?” he asked.

Nico’s chest heaved and he shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t know, I…. Goddammit!” He turned away, yanking at his hair with his hands. Will walked in after him, his worry skyrocketing when he saw that Nico was shaking. “This stupid feeling doesn’t go away!” he growled. “I’m trying so hard to stop, I have no reason to feel like this, but I can’t stop!” He looked at Will with such intense desperation in his eyes that Will hated himself for not knowing how to make that pain go away.

“What’s the point?” he cried, putting a shaking hand against his cheek. His nails dug into the skin and Will kneeled beside him, to pull his hands away. Nico seemed to deflate and the rage and panic turned into tears. He was still shaking, but he seemed to have run out of strength. When he spoke, his voice was raw and broken. “I’m going to this stupid therapist every week, and nothing’s changed. I’m seeing a fucking psychiatrist, taking fucking anti-depressants, and they do nothing! Nothing is working! Why am I so fucked up, why aren’t I getting better?” He looked at Will with a tear streaked face. “I’m trying ­so hard and it’s not working, Will. I just want to get better!”

Will looked at him with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. Since when was Nico on anti-depressants? He took a breath and pushed his hair back, wiping his cheeks gently with the back of his hand. “You are getting better, Nico,” he whispered. “Slowly, but you are.” Nico shook his head, and Will forced him to look in his eyes. “Are you still drinking each time you get upset?” Nico shook his head. “Are you still going out trying to hurt yourself in some accidental way to distract from the pain?” He shook his head and began to speak, but Will didn’t let him. “Are you still smoking two packs a week, going to party every weekend, getting so drunk you can’t walk, and kissing strangers?”

“No,” he moaned.

“Then you have gotten better,” he insisted, his voice angry and strong with the need to get the fact through Nico’s head.

Nico’s face crumpled and he put his hands over Will’s. “But I still need you,” he whimpered, fresh tears spilling from his eyes. Will was rendered speechless. “I don’t want to need you, Will. Because you can disappear. You can go away. And then what do I do?” Will took a shaky breath and used his thumb to catch a tear sliding down Nico’s cheek.

Nico sniffed and continued. “Yesterday, when I was ignoring you… it was because I was upset because of you.” Will frowned and waited. “I felt so lonely. I know I have you, but… there’s a difference in a friend’s company, and the company of someone you can hold and kiss….” His voice broke, and he looked down, his cheeks tinging pink. “I had something so good. So fucking amazing. And I let it go because I’m so fucked up in the head. And I don’t know if that’ll ever go away for good, Will. I still don’t think I’m good enough for you. I still think you deserve something better. And I hate that. I hate knowing I lost you. That I let you go. I hate remembering what it was like to wake up with you, to kiss you, to laugh with you when we were driving, not even sure about where we’re going. Because I think of now, and how careful we have to be about what we say and how you’re always in a different room when I wake up, how right now anyone can catch your attention and take you on a date and you have every right to go.” He gasped for breath through the rambling and the crying. “I was angry with myself for losing you. I didn’t want to talk to you or look at you and remind myself of it even more. I just wanted to be alone. And now here I am,” he said, his voice cracking, falling to a whisper. “Begging you to come back. Because I need you.”

Will gulped and took a deep breath. He lifted Nico’s chin and slipped his hand out from under Nico’s, pushing his hair back again. “It’s okay to need people, Nico,” he whispered, not trusting his voice. “It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. Sometimes you get hurt. But sometimes you get something great out of it.” He thought of how angry he was with himself for being vulnerable to Nico when they broke up. But he also thought of all those happy moments that led to the love he felt now. “And you didn’t lose me. I’m still here. I’m here for you. I wasn’t angry because you wanted to be alone. I understand that.” He frowned and paused, waiting for Nico to look up at him instead of down in embarrassment. When he finally settled those warm, heartbroken dark brown eyes on him, he continued. “You have every right to want to be alone. To be secluded from others. To be away and to not talk to anyone. I just needed to know you were safe. Physically okay. That you knew you could reach out to me if it was too much. You don’t have the right to just disappear and leave no word of where you are or if you’re alive or conscious or-” he stopped, reminding himself to stay calm.

He sighed. “One day, I walked into the hospital. And I went about my work like I did every other day.” He gulped and looked into his eyes wanting to get his point across. “And then I ran into Leo. And he asked me if I had heard that you’d been admitted the night before. The only reason they knew was because the hospital called them. I don’t even know how you got to the hospital, Nico.” Nico shut his eyes and sighed. “When you didn’t answer yesterday, I didn’t know if you had gone to a bridge because it was an exceptionally bad day. I didn’t know if you’d wandered off into the woods. I didn’t know if you’d walked to a bar to drink it away until you were passed out in an alley or in the back of someone’s van! I just wanted to know you were okay.” He leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. “In case you haven’t noticed… I need you too, Nico.” A sob escaped Nico’s lips and he fell forward against him, and Will wrapped his arms around him, cradling him, rocking him, holding him tightly to keep him together.

“You’re doing so well, Neeks,” he whispered. “You’re doing better. You’re a good person. I know you’re trying; I can see it. It’s okay. A bad day, a bad week, it’s okay. Shh.” Nico’s arms wrapped around him, his hand clinging to him desperately.

When his shaking and crying subsided, Will pulled back and wiped his face again. His eyes were red and puffy. “You should know that I want to be here. I’m happy you come to me. You’re not a burden, Nico.” Nico slipped his hand into Will’s and gripped it tightly. He was calmer. Exhausted, probably both physically and mentally. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed. When you wake up, you can take a shower.”

Nico stood with him and Will led him to his bedroom. Nico’s bed was messy, with covers tangled in each other, half on the floor, and his pillows scattered. Nico climbed into it carelessly, not letting go of Will’s hand. “Could you… stay until I fall asleep?” he asked softly. “Please?”

Will nodded and sat beside him. Nico placed his head in his lap and Will pulled the covers over him and began stroking his hair. “Since when are you on anti-depressants?” he asked softly.

“Just two months,” he whispered. “It’s a pretty low dose…. The psychiatrist said I have to move up slowly.”

“Which medication?”

“Zoloft.” Will hummed. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared it wouldn’t work. I was scared I’d disappoint you.” Will sighed and draped an arm over him, using his other to continue stroking his hair. “Hey, Will?” He hummed. “You know how I said you have the right to say yes to a date with someone else?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

There was a pause before Nico whispered the rest. “Would you consider doing that?”

Will bit his lip and sighed. “I did. Once. Early on,” he said. Nico turned, looking up at him. Curiosity was the only thing in his eyes. “I was at the hospital, watching over this little girl that had a severe asthma attack. She was with her older brother and he asked me on a date. I thought… you and me were completely done. So I said I’d think about it. Then you decided to tell me you were starting therapy that day. I’m pretty sure it was the same day.”

“What did my going to therapy have to do with it?” Nico asked.

Will tilted his head and twirled a dark strand of hair around his finger. “I realized it wasn’t over for you. And I realized how much you were willing to do to try again. And we became friends again…. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure we were absolutely done.” He looked at Nico and paused for a moment before continuing. “The guy ended up getting back to me later. Asking me for that date. I said yes to get him to finally leave me alone. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Paolo.” Nico’s eyebrows rose. “And it was… awkward.”

“What was he like?”

“Funny. Nice. Very… free, I supposed is the word. He liked to roll with things. I don’t know. He was okay. He kissed me.” That sentence was the first to make Nico’s expression harden. Satisfied, for some reason, Will went on. “I wasn’t into it. I told him I couldn’t keep seeing him. I got back to campus and forgot about him until Leo brought him up. He was there, and he saw the kiss. So he asked about it.” Will shook his head. “Haven’t considered it since.”

Nico hummed and turned on his side again. “If he was… nice and funny and all that… why’d you stop after one date?”

Will waited for a moment before responding. Will bit his lip and stopped running his hands through Nico’s hair. “Because he wasn’t you.” Nico stopped breathing. His body froze, and he looked back at Will his eyes bright and shocked on Will, making him breathless and nervous all over again. Will grasped onto that strand of bravery that had overcome him and forced himself to keep talking. “Yesterday… when I stopped by… I actually wanted to ask you something. I don’t know if now’s a good time, or if you’re even… ready. But I… um.” Will gulped and took a long, deep breath. “Do you… maybe want to go on a date with me?”

Nico’s lips parted. His cheeks colored. Suddenly, his eyes were awake, wide, and completely focused on Will. He sat up, never taking his eyes off of Will. “You still want to try?” he asked in shock. “After yesterday… after this?”

Will smiled and shrugged. “After everything? Yeah. It’s kind of been driving me nuts that you haven’t asked. But… I trust you. And you’re my best friend, Neeks. We’re doing it right this time… right?” Will took his hand and looked at him, his heart pounding faster with each passing second that Nico stared without answering.

Then finally he breathed out, “Of course.”

Click Here for Ch. 31