#The joke is also lame

[doevademe]

Percy is loosing a lot of blood and he s asked what s his type. What s his answer ? But this time meme the ask 🤪 go crazy 🤯 you re my fave percico writter after all

"That's a nasty gash," Percy said conversationally, leaning on the wall, as if said gash wasn't on his own torso, going from his left hip to below his right pectoral. "Might leave a mark."

"Are you for real?!" Kyler, the young demigod they were sent to fetch, screeched as he looked around. "You've lost at least a pint of blood already!"

Kyler didn't want to think what would happen once the guy's scary friend, Nico, found out what happened.

"Maybe your dad really is Apollo," Percy kept going, to the point Kyler feared he was going delirious. "If so, you won't like me much once you're at camp."

The young boy ignored him, just glad that the fight had happened inside his mom's workplace, which happened to be a freaking blood bank (Percy Jackson must be very favored by the gods he didn't know existed 5 hours ago)

"I need to know your type," he said. Percy winced.

"Just for the record," he said. "It wasn't my fault they broke up. Despite what anyone says, I didn't know they were fighting or that what I did could be seen as flirting!"

"Your type, Percy!" Kyler said impatiently.

Percy looked around confused.

"Not here," he answered.

"What do you mean 'not here'?! Every type is here!" If the blood loss didn't kill Percy, Kyler would be the one to finish the snake woman's job.

"Not mine," Percy said, melancholy. "You know it's funny. You never really think about these things until one day, you look at someone who used to watch over you but doesn't anymore, and you realize 'damn, I have never wanted anything more than to have that back'."

Kyler stayed quiet. His first instinct was to press Percy for his type again, but something about the mood made him shut up. Percy could be uttering his last words, and it would be rude to interrupt him.

"And... people see you and wonder if something's wrong with you, and there is, but... only because you took like seven years to realize it." Percy chuckled a little bit, only to since at the movement. "And you realize you do have a type. You love the acidic sense of humor, the roguish smiles, the sense that you can both protect and be protected by someone you've known for so long, who will never give you up, let you down... Or desert you."

Kyler blinked, perplexed. Was this demigod... Rickrolling him?

"I MEANT YOUR BLOOD TYPE, YOU MORON!"

"O Positive," a new voice spoke. Kyler jumped as Scary Demigod AKA Nico seemingly materialized out of a corner and looked at him unimpressed. "Why is no one pressing against his wound?"

Kyler's face dropped in shame as Nico approached the ailing demigod and inspected his stomach.

"My type is here!" Percy exclaimed happily. Kyler's eyes bugged out. Nico? The guy who looked like he would kill first, ask questions to your ghost later?

"You're lucky you got slashed, or a rag is what I'd be pressing against your mouth." While his voice was as even and threatening as ever, Kyler noticed how his expression softened and he smiled softly. "That would stop you from emotionally scarring children."

"Aww, babe, no need to be embarrassed," Percy gushed. "And the kid will hate me anyways once his cabin counselor talks to him."

"Forget the blood. The wound is superficial," Nico said. "There's a bag with squares of food in my backpack, give me that and something for him to drink."

Kyler yelped and obeyed quickly. He felt like an intruder on the scene, as Nico whispered stuff into Percy's ear, making him smile.

"So, what's your type, handsome?" Percy asked, looking at Nico. The other demigod rolled his eyes.

"Not sure, I'm debating if he has a death wish right now."

Percy guffawed for half a second, only to groan and hold his stomach right after.

Nico looked pleased with himself.

[choccy-milky]

herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)

[nightwonder7]

He should've taken an allergy shot earlier smh

[shevr]

Little bit of a crush. Behhhh🐐

here u go

[carrinth]

"Speedo Magneto isn't real! He cAN't hUrt you!!!"

We all wish for Magneto's unashamed body confidence. Man flew across the planet and was simply "Look upon my physique and despair"

[dandp]

Guys I found the perfect Relatable game for them to do on the gaming channel next

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

sometimes you just gotta draw obnoxious husbands u.u

[cnl0400]

What's even the point in Thirteen making traps If she isn't going to use them on anybody?

She doesn't even try to kill Solomon anymore, they got rid of all her more """"problematic"""" features (AKA she was "too mean" or whatever). The difference between S4/OG!Thirteen and NB! Thirteen are night and day

[jordblod]

!! crucial !! piece of hilson lore confirmed - they're fucking LOSERS honestly? so affirming to me. this isn't news i know but to get this explicit piece of interaction about being a lonely child and now being weird adults who don't know how to make friends or have "normal" conversations or connections like this is the shit i eat for breakfast, especially accompanied with the complete and utter sense of surrender to this fact that wilson displays. there's absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to defend himself or act as if what house is saying isn't true bc it is and they both know it and knows the other knows it even if they've never actually talked about this once which is very likely but they know cause they're the same and they only have each other and and and

[skullivan-the-dawg]

This isn’t the traditional blue haired girl with they/them pronouns-

[trashpocket]

nancy’s type is being into dorks 🥺💖

[pyr0cue]

everyone who thinks longlegs is the best horror film of 2024 or even the decade needs to sit down and watch a list of 20 other films personally prepared by me (self appointed horror expert) and then write a 10 page essay with 10 cited sources about transphobia and transmisogyny in film and how it affects the real world.

[visualtaehyun]

dorky Zee is my favorite Zee (x)

[shopcat]

this is all i think of when people make fun of this joke trend sorry like you're being insufferable

[wilhelmina-tepes]

This is a fanfic dump

Finally decided to post some of the fanfic I've written. The current flavor is Adrian Tepes. tags for blood drinking and smut. Because why not.

 Alucard might not need it but he wanted it. You lay beneath him devoid of all thoughts, your mind purged by the pleasure he’s so willing to give. Your arms are pinned above your head, one of his hands on each of your wrists as he slides downward dragging touch and taste with him. You cry out his name in pure wanton lust and he feels it. Almost as if his fangs pulse with every thought, he swallows your moans and tries to not think about you unraveling beneath him while he drinks from you. For a moment he considers it, nipping at your bottom lip as his mouth travels downward. What would you taste like arching your back in ecstasy, his cock buried in you to the hilt as he sunk his fangs in? He knows you would love it. But he tells himself that it is too dangerous that he’s not like that…. Which only makes him want it more.

Lips, tongue, and teeth lavish your breasts with needy attention as he drags his nails across your thighs urging you to part for him. Alucard tells himself that if he can devour you as you come it will sate that craving inside him, that hearing you moan his name will tame the animal trying to claw its way out of him. But he knows you want this…you would completely unhinge.

No. He can’t entertain the thought. He loves you but… if it is wanted....perhaps.

Your belly is covered in kisses as he makes his way down leaving a wet trail with his tongue that traces directly to the slit concealing your innermost folds…he wants that too. He’s so careful to kiss you reverently along your hidden petals and you are so very wanting, liquid desire weeping for him. You cry out when he lightly tongues your clit before slithering inside to get a taste. It makes him want it more…no this was supposed to satisfy that craving. His tongue lavishes you with praise until you are bucking your hips against his mouth as you arch your back. can’t stop.... won’t stop….

You’re pinned again, his lithe but strong form holding you.

“Can I….?”

“Yes… mmnng what?" All you want is more of him.

“I want to drink you.” It’s a low whisper and he feels the shiver wrack through your body.

Alucard almost feels bad admitting it but he tells himself that he is good for asking and not just taking, but you wouldn’t have denied him anyway. You answer with a moan and a shake of your head, and he tells himself that’s enough.

As he slides inside you, so slick and wet for him, you moan in unison from the intrusion thick and tight at each end. Your back arches again crying out his name….his actual name….

“Adrian….” It’s barely a sigh followed by a silent moan at the sudden increase in his pace. 

He’s losing it. This will take him and he will have you. 

Alucard is driving both your pleasures as you spasm around him so close to unraveling. He thrusts rapidly and then loses himself pulling your head to the side and sinking his fangs into your flushed neck. Your pleasure takes you suddenly. The feel of his cock inside you coupled with the intense, overwhelming fire in his bite, the feel of his tongue against your skin as he drinks……you hold on to him as if all of existence depends on him. Alucard feels you spasming beneath him, coaxing him, his orgasm possesses his very being as he bites down a little harder trying to contain the animal inside him. 

             He releases his bite, lapping at the wounds he caused, tears threaten to form in his eyes, so afraid he will hurt you. 

             “Adrian, that….it felt so good.”

              He’s ashamed when his cock twitches at the idea of taking you like this again, so, so very afraid he will let go….but he knew you would love it. Alucard leans into you taking your mouth in a passionate kiss before sliding his newly hardened member back into your sore cunt. Lapping at the wounds on your neck he restrained himself from biting down again. Your moans and soft cries are the most beautiful sounds driving him to buck into you, greedy for more. 

               “Adrian, please….”

               “I can’t right now my love, I don’t want to take too much.” He whispered into your ear pleading, unsure if it is you or himself he is trying to convince. “But I will again, I promise.”

               Still, he struggled but knew he could taste you again. Perhaps next time he could nibble other places….

[albireon]

Pip joins the Panderverse!