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yoonjinkooked · 3 years

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Our Story | Act I - The Good Days (knj)

Our Story - Act I, Part 4, The Good Days

Pairing: Namjoon x (f) reader

Genre: Fluff, smut, angst

AU: strangers to friends to lovers and much more than that which I cannot spoil just yet.

Synopsis: The story of you and Kim Namjoon, and the change he brought into your life. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s hopeful, and it’s also exactly the opposite.

Warnings for this chapter: again, way too cute to handle, somewhat explicit smut, safe sex, soft smut, the relationship develops...

WC: 6.4 k

Series Masterlist

Act I Playlist

Banner: @joyfulhopelox

Day 72

“Move a little bit to the right,” he tells you. You obliged, barely scooting, knowing that if you take a full step, he will more than likely tell you that you’ve moved too much. “Just a little bit more,” he instructs you further and you scoot again, unable to hold back a sigh. “Babe, I know I’m annoying about this, but if I will take your picture, I want to take it well.”

“Joon, you are literally the only person that will look at it,” you remind him through laughter. “Not to mention that you are the only one that will pay attention to how well centered I am compared to the tree. Just take the photo,” you urge him. In all honesty, it is not annoying. Like many other things about him, you find it more charming than anything else. But you would also very much like to continue with your walk before your hot cocoa turns cold.

“We’re making memories, Y/N,” he laughs, unfazed with your complaints. “And if all the memories that I’m making with you are perfect, I want the photos to be, too.”

You don’t playfully tease him about it anymore, choosing to look at it from his point of view. It’ll only take a few seconds out of your life, and will make him happy. And he does have a point - you will want to look back at photos and remember certain moments, or days.

Well, there are conflicting sayings. One is that people take pictures of what they’re scared to lose the most. And the other that you remember, is that if the memory was fun and important enough, you wouldn’t bother wasting time on taking a photo. You don’t know if the first can be applied to your relationship, as Namjoon has no reason to be terrified of losing you, but you do know that despite all the photos he takes, the time you spend together is precious.

Once he is finally happy with the photo, he smiles brightly up at you, and immediately, you change roles - by now, you’ve learned how particular he is with photos and you crouch on the ground while he takes the same pose you did by the tree. You throw out a joke, looking for that smile of his - eyes closed, dimples showing, actual palpable happiness. You get it on the first try, happily linking your arms together as soon as he walks over to you.

You’ve developed a love for long walks with no particular aim. With him by your side, all of them are special. Sometimes you talk without stopping for hours on end; other times, you share a comfortable silence and just enjoy the scenery and each others’ company. It’s funny now, in hindsight, how you thought that he was the perfect drinking buddy, back when the two of you were not really even friends. Now, you know that he is so, so much more. At the very least, a person with whom silence is actually comfortable.

He had promised you walks through the autumn and he had delivered - everything about it, you will forever associate with him. The colors, the smell, the sound, and the feel of dry leaves crunching beneath your shoes - everything has Namjoon written all over it. He is like a warm cup of coffee that you take in your freezing hands, letting him overtake you slowly and completely, in the coziest way possible.

“Did you manage to do any writing this week?” you ask, knowing how important the first draft is to him. This entire week had been hellish, with you doing overtime work almost every day and being too tired to do anything except shower and sleep by the time you got home. There was a time when you thought that being a furniture designer is a career that will give you plenty of freedom, but working for a conglomerate had proven you wrong. You’ve missed him this week, terribly so. But that’s what weekends are for - those are your days.

“I did manage to write a bit, yeah,” he tells you. “It… didn’t go too well, but I consider every word progress. I think the problem is that I tend to spread myself too thin, you know? I am never focusing on one thing, I always write more, turn every idea into a creation, and every creation is a half-finished first version which then rots for months until I remember it again, only to do absolutely nothing about it.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you say, trying to comfort him with a squeeze to his hand, a squeeze that he reciprocates immediately. “That is your dream, not your full-time job. There is no wrong way of doing it, not really. Your… material changes, as much as you do. No one is waiting for a specific novel of a specific theme with this and that character - you have the ability to create whatever it is that you want. And if it is 20 things at the exact same time, then so be it.”

“You’re right, but it’s one of those things that even when I know they are set in stone, I still try to change. Am I even making sense?” he asks, laughing at his own confusion. It’s one thing that somehow still breaks your heart. You and Namjoon are still in a very new relationship - in the phase where you are still getting to know each other and are enjoying it very much. But there are moments when he questions himself, always followed by laughter. He’s not nearly as confident in reality as you thought he was the night that the two of you met. And while you do understand it, as you’re hardly a confident person yourself, it breaks your heart that he is feeling that way in front of you.

Though, at the same time, it just proves that he trusts you enough to share his vulnerability in front of you. It still doesn’t change the way you feel about it - sad.

“Yes, you are making sense,” you reassure him. “You always do, no matter how confusing you think your words are. And keep in mind, I have read plenty of your short stories - you have a talent with words, Namjoon. Both written and spoken. I could listen to you talk for hours and I could read what you wrote for even longer. Never doubt that.”

“I think you might be legally obliged to say that because you’re my girlfriend,” he jokes.

“Baby, it’s the exact opposite,” you laugh, genuinely happy that he used the G word. It’s not the first time, but it feels like it is, every single time. “Here’s an example: when I was a kid, still in primary school, my mom enrolled me into weekend choir practice.”

“What?!” he yells in surprise. “Y/N, I’m sorry, but you’re a horrible singer!”

“I know!” you jump, excited at your point being proven. “That’s exactly what I’m saying! She had this idea that I am not that bad, and she didn’t want me to realize that I was shit at singing. Praise for the sake of encouragement is a double-edged sword. You don’t want to put someone down and tell them they’re bad at something, but at the same time, if you give them false hope, one day, the realization will come and it’ll hurt like a bitch.”

“I take it that you were kicked out of the choir?” he grimaces, struggling to get the words out, obviously trying not to reopen an old wound.

“No, I was just politely asked to leave,” you laugh, watching as he joins in. “But that’s my point. That was how I learned that I may not be exactly good at something. Which is more than fine, mind you. But to feed someone praise in the hopes that they will keep holding onto something is as bad as tearing down their self-esteem. I wouldn’t lie to you, ever. If I thought that you were a horrible writer, I likely would have picked my words very, very carefully, but I wouldn’t put you on a pedestal. So trust me when I say it, you are truly brilliant.”

He puts his head down, smiling, very obviously affected by your compliment and how you went above and beyond to try and show how genuine you are. “You’re too nice to me.”

“And I’d argue that you’re too nice to me,” you playfully fight back, letting him pull you closer with your linked arms - the two of you waddle, stuck together as if you are glued. “I never thought that faith was a thing if I’m being honest. I’m still not sure if I do. But ever since we met, ever since you walked into my life, I have had nothing but good things happen to me. I don’t know if it’s connected to you in any way or if I’m just riding the wave of my own luck at this point, but I know I’m happy. And I'm grateful. And I can’t explain it, not really.”

“Do you have to explain it, though?” he asks, frowning as he ponders over his own question. You think about it, too - do you really need to name it, label it and categorize it as something? Your gut is telling you that yes, you do. And while you have been proven wrong whenever you went against it, you decide that you don’t have to explain it just yet. “As long as it is good, as long as we both… thrive and are happy, does it matter if it’s faith or luck?”

“No,�� you answer honestly. “Not now, not in the long run, either. I’m happy when I’m with you and I’m okay with this being as simple as that.”

“You make me happy too, Y/N,” he tells you, stopping in his tracks - he frees his arm from your grip to run it against your cheek, smiling at you when you lean into the touch. His hands are cold, but you don’t mind it, you don’t mind it one bit. “You have no idea how glad I am that I did not chicken out that night,” he admits with a chuckle.

“You and me both,” you lean towards him, pressing a kiss to his lips. Like always with the two of you, it starts simple - a gentle, long kiss, that slowly deepens into more, only to threaten to develop into even more than that. And always, especially when you are in public, one of you has to come to their senses and put some physical distance between you. Now, it was you, realizing that you need to slow down as soon as Namjoon lets his hand travel from your face to right above your ass, and you can just tell how badly he wants to let it move more. “Okay buddy,” you gasp as you pull away, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down. “We can’t make out like this in public, I’ll be too horny to function.”

“You’re always too horny to function.”

You gasp, smacking him on the chest in retaliation. “I don’t remember you complaining!”

“I’m not, I’m not!” he lifts his hands up in defense, still laughing his ass off. “I’m just saying!”

“Relax, I’m not taking away the blowjob privileges just yet,” you reassure him, laughing at the way his eyes widen in surprise - you were never this crude out of nowhere, in a setting without actual sex. “I’m not that mean. I like you. And your dick.”

“Jesus Y/N!” he laughs nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Now who’s too horny to function?” you tease him. His head snaps up, causing you to laugh when you see the playful threat behind his eyes.

“Oh, you’re so going down!”

You start running, as fast as you can with a half-full cup of cocoa in your hands - he chases you, not caring about his own cup full of his precious coffee. You laugh your butt off as he chases you, promising retaliation tonight. Tough luck for him - that only makes you even more excited and serves as added fuel to run even faster, to tease him to the max.

You were bound to get caught - he is in much better shape than you are, with all the morning workouts he does. But when he does catch you, you can’t be happier. He smothers you with kisses and whispers promises both sweet and filthy, reminding you once again just how fucking happy you are. If you could do nothing but this, spend your days just with him, doing nothing and everything at once, you would. You hate the weekdays, weekdays that keep you away from him, work that keeps your mind occupied - you hate it all, and you’d give it up this second if that would mean it would only be him and you. But that’s what the weekends are for, you suppose. Your days - yours and no one else’s.

Day 94

With a lazy smile on your face, you trace your finger against his chest, creating random shapes and curves, watching as he tries to stay put despite the ticklish feeling.

You could stay like this for hours, just laying down next to him in complete silence, focusing on nothing except the lines your finger draws against his skin. It’s the very height of your comfort zone - just you and him, away from the rest of the world, any tasks or worries that may crowd your brain usually. Time slows down, sometimes even fully stops, when you have these little moments. These moments, between the two of you being together and falling asleep next to each other, are your favorite time of day. You are so stupidly in love with him and you’re not really bothering to hide it.

“Can I ask you something?” your voice is quiet, not wanting to break the magic of the moment. Still drawing shapes on his chest, you look up at him, finding him smiling at you.

“Of course.”

“I never asked you this,” you point out, realizing that it’s ironic how this question has never crossed your mind before. Well, it did, but you never asked him. It would occur to you at times when you weren’t away, and when he was close, your mind paid attention to other things. “What made you approach me that night, back at the bar? I know that you didn’t want to drink alone but… why me? If there even is a specific reason behind it?”

He gives a kiss on the forehead before pulling you closer, your chest against his; looking up at him, you wait for an answer. “It really was because I was lonely that night,” he starts. “The thing I didn’t tell you that night was that I was actually supposed to meet someone. We met on a dating app and chatted for like a day before agreeing to go on drinks. She never showed up, and although I didn’t have more than a passing interest in her, I just sat there, all alone, thinking how I don’t want it to be like that. And I remember looking at you that night. You didn’t look… sad. You looked more dejected, perhaps even lonely. It made me wonder if you felt the same way I did that night and how maybe we could keep each other company.”

He had never mentioned that he was supposed to be on a date that night. Not that you mind it - he owed you nothing at that point, and you are all too familiar with how empty those dating app connections often are. You talk and talk, wasting precious time, until one of you stops answering for one reason or another, or one becomes too pushy. It’s a tame waste, but you are glad that the woman he was supposed to meet that night didn’t show up.

“You should install that app again - I need to find that woman and send her flowers.”

“Y/N!” he starts laughing.

“Nah, I’ll actually make it a gift basket,” you continue joking. “You’re worth more than a bouquet of flowers. A basket is a much better choice - how about wine and fancy cheese?”

“Babe, you are not sending a gift basket to a girl that stood me up.”

“Joon, her not showing up that night was her doing me the biggest favor anyone had ever done,” you laugh, but you are serious in what you are saying. By pure accident, that woman had helped you run into someone you didn’t even know you needed. “Jokes aside, I am glad you approached me. To think how easily we could have missed each other makes me uneasy. It feels like faith had decided, last minute, that maybe we should meet after all.”

“I don’t really believe in faith. I think we have it in our hands. I don’t think it’s faith that brought the two of us together - it was me deciding to go for it and you deciding that I’m not freaking you out.”

He does have a point and while you laugh, you still find his words sad. Faith isn’t something that you think about too much, nor have a firm opinion of, but to hear him say that he really just doesn’t believe in its concept sounds a little heartbreaking. To not think that some things are meant to be and that certain people are meant for one another, might very well be true, but it’s also a sad notion. Doesn’t mean he’s right or wrong - it’s just a little sad.

“Faith or not, here we are,” you conclude with a shrug, not wanting to dampen the mood with a discussion that is too deep for either one of you to understand. “And I like being here.”

“I like you being here, too,” he says, pressing another kiss to your head. “I like you, too.”

“Well thank fuck, I say,” you both laugh. “I’d be legitimately worried if we went this long and you weren’t sure about that.”

“Yeah, that would be very awkward,” he agrees. “I really do like you, though. Much more than I thought was… actually, physically possible. You feel right in every aspect.”

You know, because you feel it, too. It’s easy to stop and think that it might be too good to be true, as it so often is. But you don’t do that, perhaps for the first time ever. Your mind wants to second-guess it all, look for a negative where there is one. You always do that, it’s the way you function and it’s not entirely healthy. But with Namjoon? None of it is even an option. The very second you realize that maybe you should wait for the other shoe to drop, you shake it out of your mind. You embrace all good that he is, and enjoy it entirely, body and soul.

“Babe?”

“Yes?”

“Please fuck me again,” you ask, offering him a cheeky smirk. You don’t just want to hear it - you want to feel it. It’s simple - you trust it fully, and now you want to embrace it, enjoy it fully, bask in it as long as you possibly can. And there’s something very inviting about doing that with him inside you, as you search for pleasure together.

He doesn’t answer in words. Instead, he kisses you, deeply, full of want, and with a promise of more. A promise he delivers immediately, turning the two of you around so that he is above you, while you blindly reach for the box of condoms on his bedside table.

You waste no time with foreplay, with both of you already more than ready and worked up; this is the first time that you have sex tonight, having decided to do absolutely nothing other than being in bed together this Sunday. One more time would be the cherry on top of the best cake you’ve ever had, and a perfect way to get ready for the god awful Monday.

Okay, maybe you do have a little bit of foreplay, as you do jerk him off before sliding the condom onto his hard cock, all while he kisses, sucks, and bites the skin of your neck. He was having the time of his life with your weak spot, making you thankful that autumn gives you the perfect excuse of wearing turtlenecks or scarfs, every damn day.

He slides into you with ease, the two of you fitting one another so perfectly; he curses under his breath, nestling his head in the crook of your neck as he whispers how perfect you feel around him, how warm and tight you are. Too incoherent to speak (his cock does have a tendency of leaving you speechless), all you can do is moan as you move your hips up to meet his thrusts, enjoying the slow, lazy speed that he had set.

You’ve had rough sex, loving sex, lazy morning sex, shower sex - name it, you did it. But nothing beats this. The moment where you want nothing but to feel good, sex that doesn’t require too much effort because you have already gotten to know each other well. Slow thrusts, millions of kisses, and a gentle ride to orgasm.

With the use of his fingers, he makes you come first. Entirely way too fast, but also unsurprising, given how much you were craving him tonight. He follows through soon, with a low grunt in your ear as he comes; it’s a sound that you have gotten used to, and have grown to love. Nothing will ever feel better than the knowledge of what you do to him. Every grunt, moan, curse and promise, you save it, both in your heart and mind, feeling both giddy and proud to know he’s as crazy about you as you are about him.

You wanted to go to sleep, completely ready to sleep for 10 hours straight, but Namjoon takes care of you - he starts a bath for the two of you, even going as far to jokingly carry you to the bathroom when you complain about not wanting to get up.

You stay there for a while - in the bathtub, against each other, talking about books, music, art, food - anything and everything that comes to your mind. Sleep is as far away as it can possibly be, as it’s such a waste of time when you can spend time talking to him.

Namjoon might be hot as all hell, but it’s his mind and personality that keep you so hooked - he can talk about any topic, knows enough of everything to offer a well-formed opinion, and is just the sweetest guy you have ever encountered. From taking as many photos as he can and only posting a handful, getting you flowers, and still attempting to make meals for you, he has spoiled you rotten and ruined whoever may come after him.

To some, the bar is hell. To you, after Namjoon, it’s as high as the sky goes.

Day 112

“We can still go back if you don’t want to go through with this,” he reminds you, for what feels like the hundredth time. While you appreciate his reassurance, you agreed to this a full week ago, and you are already parked in front of his parents’ house.

“I’d argue that it’s a little bit too late for that since we’re already in their driveway,” you point out, laughing when he lets out a long sigh. “You met my sister when we still weren’t sure if this is gonna last or not - I’m perfectly fine with meeting your family, Joon.”

“I know,” he shakes his head, looking troubled, just as he did when he first asked you to join him and his family for his dad’s birthday dinner. You’ll admit, his worry did make you feel uneasy - a part of you wondered if he thought it was too soon if he didn’t want to introduce you to them and was just offering because that’s what he was supposed to do at this point in your relationship. The thought did appear in your mind, but you didn’t let it fester. However, his nervousness over all of this is noticeable - and you’d think that you’d be the nervous one, not the other way around. “The last time, and actually the only time, I brought someone home for them to meet, it didn’t go too well,” he admits in a low voice, looking directly at the house in front of you. “I know we’re already here so it’s not exactly storytime, but they didn’t like her and they didn’t bother hiding it. Which was a very uneasy thing to witness as they were never like that. I’m worried if there’s something about you that they don’t like, they won’t give us the decency of keeping it to themselves.”

“Babe…” you pause, trying to find the right words to say. Not only do you not have time for an emotional conversation, but you haven’t even formed an opinion you can share with him. He hit you with this out of nowhere and while you would have appreciated a warning, it’s not difficult to see why he didn’t want to air this one out. “Parents are fucking weird,” you say, sure that those words cover pretty much any and every issue anyone has ever had with their parents. “Mine have their own pet peeves and irritating habits. Trust me, I get it. If they don’t like me, then they don’t like me. It won’t break my heart, cause the only one I want to be liked by is sitting right next to me. So if you’re worried about me… Don’t be.”

His parents not liking you would open a Pandora box the size of North America - will he be okay with it? Will he still be with you or will he dump your ass because of them? If he still wants to be with you, will that mean he’ll cut them off? Or will you have to pretend that it’s all fine and dandy every time you see them, even though the mutual hatred is threatening to explode out of all of you? So, so many things can go wrong if that’s the case, but you can’t tell him that, not when he’s this worried and not when you haven’t even met them yet.

“You’re right,” he decides, nodding his head with a newfound resolution, turning to give you an encouraging smile. “Not to mention… I can’t think of a single reason they wouldn’t like you.”

He was right - his parents truly didn’t find a single reason not to like you. Or, if they have, they are waiting until you are away to pester Namjoon about it. But from what you could see while you were talking with them, they were enjoying the conversation and smiling in a pleasant, but not fake, manner at you. And Joon’s sister was an easy victory - she wasn’t preparing herself not to like you, after all. Not that his parents were, but they were definitely a higher mountain to climb, out of the two.

They were fascinated about your job and you ended up answering questions about furniture and interior design for a long while. You didn’t mind it one bit, as it’s a topic where you really can’t make a fool of yourself, even if you tried. With the way they were seemingly melting in front of you, slowly but surely growing to like you, you wondered what it was that made them not like Namjoon’s ex. He didn’t talk much about her, you didn’t bother asking, as it was obviously still somewhat of a sore spot for him. After tonight, though, you know that sooner or later, preferably sooner, the topic will have to be mentioned. Those people who so obviously didn’t like her and didn’t bother hiding it were not present tonight - both his mother and father were incredibly nice, welcoming, and full of unsaid approval for your relationship.

His mother even pulled you away for a not so subtle chat, asking for your help with cutting up and serving the cake to everyone. She was pleasant, even though her inquisitor mode was obvious. It wasn’t the nicest feeling in the world, but like you told Namjoon earlier, you know parents can be weird. The woman wants to make sure you’re not a hag that wants to drain her son of money, love, and will to live. She smiled brightly at the both of you as you were pulling out of the driveway, so you’d argue that maybe she realized you’re not a hag.

“Well, I think that went well,” you break the silence as you drive away from their house and back towards the city, looking forward to spending the night at Namjoon’s again - as always, the weekends are yours. “But you’re the one who has the intel - was it okay?”

“They absolutely loved you,” he let out a nervous chuckle. “All of my worries were more than unnecessary. I guess I should give my parents more credit,” he laughs, but you can tell that he is still a bit on edge. Again, more than understandable - not everyone finds family gatherings as the most enjoyable thing, especially if you’re presenting your current partner, on a silver platter, ready for them to judge top to bottom.

“Whether they are right or wrong, whether they like me or not, there are two things to note. One, they want what’s best for you. Most parents do, I’d argue. Now, they may not know what is best for you, but their intentions are good,” you remind him. You’ve been on the receiving end of “want what is best for you” even though they were completely unaware that the best for you was what you wanted - and they, of course, had no idea what you wanted.

“What’s the second thing?” Namjoon asks, turning to look at you. You focus on the road ahead - this conversation is entirely way too serious for a late-night drive, and you’d rather not get the two of you into a crash.

“Even though they want it, it’s you who makes the final call,” you tell him. “If they hate my guts, and you want to be with me forever and ever, you can’t let them make that call for you. And if they absolutely adore me and you decide that you’re just not that into me, again, you can’t let them make that call for you. There’s a line between pleasing them and losing ourselves, which I’m sure you already know. I’m just… I don’t know, reminding both of us.”

For a while, he is silent, and you can imagine the wheels turning in his head as he ponders over your words. When he finally speaks up, he does so as he puts his hand over yours, letting go of it quickly as you do prefer to drive with both hands and he knows it well. “It’s nice to have that reminder, every now and then. But our situation is simple - they are besotted with you and so am I.”

“Besotted?” you repeat his words, giggling. While you are very flattered, as you are with any and every compliment he gives you, his choice of words really is showing his occupation. “Are you going all Mr. Darcy on me here? Is “like you” overrated?” you tease him.

“Nah, it’s not overrated,” he answers, laughing along with you. “It just doesn’t do it justice.”

Ah. There you are. You had a feeling that you have been in this limbo for a little while - the part where you are in love and are absolutely certain of it, but are not sure if you can call it actual love just yet. I like you isn’t enough - he said it himself and you felt it, too. But both of you also know that I love you may just be too much, too soon.

It’s not like it even matters, at least not for you. Words are words - some may mean them, some may think they mean them, and some may say the sweetest lies. What matters is what you show, and there was never a moment that you had with Namjoon where you didn’t feel loved. Loved, taken care of, and respected. Neither has to say it now. Hell, neither has to ever say it - as long as you both show it and feel it, you know everything’s alright.

“There isn’t a word for that, is it?” you ask, the question being born from your thoughts of the love limbo you are floating in. “But it doesn’t matter. You’re not Darcy, Vronsky, or… I don’t know, Edward fucking Cullen. You’re Joon. You don’t need a better word.”

“I’m starting to think I actually might.”

He said it without saying it - you both know it. And you like it. It feels more right than any other words could. Not that you needed it, but this is just another proof that you and Joon are in it for the long run. How long of a run it will be, it’s impossible to say. But as long as you know that you’re both in it, fully, you don’t have to know.

Day 134

You lean over the bar, trying to catch a look at Namjoon’s laptop, curious to see if the page on the screen is full of letters or not. You smile as soon as you see that it is, followed by the sound of his fingers hitting the keyboard, one key after the other, at lightning speed.

Giddy on the inside, you bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling, even though he can’t see you right now. You try to keep your emotions at bay when it comes to his writing, having learned that he doesn’t like shining the spotlight on it. To him, writing is a daily struggle, and any kind of attention on it, or even a mention of it, is more negative than positive. So, you don’t ask, don’t comment, pretend you don’t see it, and smile brightly when you do. He is writing and that’s all that matters.

It’s not difficult for you to understand exactly why he doesn’t want to draw attention to it - you don’t always find it comfortable to discuss your own creative work, especially not if you’re struggling with it. And you do - a block doesn’t just occur to writers. There are days when your mind feels empty, and your right hand refuses to move the pencil over the paper. It’s not a nice feeling and it definitely doesn’t make for a nice conversation. So, you let him have his peace but still lean over his shoulder when you can’t, just to see if the word count has changed. More often than not, it increases, which fills you with relief and a little bit of pride.

Putting the final touch in the form of salt to the dish you’ve been making, you call him for dinner. By the time you turn around with plates ready to serve, he is already sitting at the bar, watching you with a smile you can only describe as content. In the past few weeks, you have been spending more and more time at his place, spending more nights here than you do at your own place - something about the way he looks at you makes you wonder if the sight of you, here, is the reason for his smile, or if there’s something else that you might be missing.

“What’s so funny?” you tease him as you place the plates on the bar, not waiting for a response, instead walking out the kitchen to join him at the other side; by the time you get there, he is still silent, even though you would have been able to hear his response. “Huh?” you push the question, wanting to hear what you thought you’d hear. A little bit of reassurance goes a long way, even though on paper, you don’t really need it.

“Can’t a man be happy?” he chuckles, telling you exactly what you wanted to hear.

“He can. I hope he is. And I wouldn’t mind if he tells it often. Daily. Hourly,” you joke, making him laugh. “I love you, Joon. I hope you know that.”

This is not the way you had planned to say it. In fact, you didn’t have a plan set at all, although you have felt it for a little while now. A long while, actually. Probably too long, given how new your relationship really is. But you don’t care, not really. If you feel it, and you do, there is no reason you should keep it in. Even if it means that you will end up dropping the words out unceremoniously, right as he is about to dig into his dinner.

You watch as he sets down his fork, turning on his chair to look at you - he reaches for your hand, staying silent for a little bit. You don’t urge him to break the silence, as you understand why he might be hesitant. After all, you’re not expecting to hear it back - it’ll be amazing if you do and it will be okay if he doesn’t. But the way he smiles at you reassures you that it’s coming, without a doubt - and even by some miracle, if it isn’t, he still means it.

“I love you, too. A whole lot.”

You reach for his hand, squeezing it gently. The two of you exchange a smile, both being so big, yours leaves your face in pain. There is a lot of things unsaid - the strength of your emotion showing in your mirroring smiles and in the strength of the grip you have on each others’ hands - it grows firmer with each passing second.

“Bon appetit,” you casually say, not wanting to dwell on a perfect moment. Saying anything more would ruin it. While it wasn’t your plan to say it as randomly as you did, it turned out to be perfect. When you think about it, pretty much everything about the two of you and your relationship somehow ends up being perfect.

#namjoon fanfic #namjoon smut #bts smut #bts fanfic #thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet

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enchantedblackrose · 4 years

Text

Safe Again

Not my image. Google image search

Pairing: Antonio/Fem Reader

Requested @fabyoliveira1999

Summary: Y/n is kidnapped when an undercover assignment goes wrong

¡Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, allusions of sexual assault, potential police brutality? All very in line with the show

A/n 1: this is a work of fiction. The gang and names used are completely made up and not meant to reflect any real persons. Thank you.

2: Part 2 will be a fluff drabble

Safe Again

A darkness overcomes you as you slip out of consciousness. The steady beeping of the machines around you are now frantic, their shrill sound piercing the ears of everyone around.

Antonio yells out your name as hospital staff force him from your room. It isn't until Hank and Kevin pull him by his shoulders does he fully retreat. He sees a familiar face in the hallway and remembers a conversation he's been meaning to have.

"Halstead!" Antonio's voice shakes in anger. He stands face to face with the younger detective. His finger accusingly pointing.

"How the hell did this happen in the first place, man? You were supposed to have her back!"

Jay's voice was quiet. "I know." He drops his head in hands. "I'm so sorry, man. I should've pulled us out of there."

"You were supposed to watch her." Antonio strains to speak, his tone is much softer this time as he fights back the tears threatening to spill. Wordlessly, he claps Jay's shoulder, giving it an affectionate and apologetic squeeze. None of this is Jay's fault. Antonio knows this and instantly regretted taking his emotions out on his colleague.

-72 hours prior-

You're sitting in the bullpen, having just been assigned to go undercover with your partner acting as your boyfriend. The idea being that the two of you would infiltrate the known drug gang the Scorpions as potential buyers and dealers for the more upscale neighborhoods the leader, Sammy, was trying to reach.

Your actual boyfriend is the first to speak. "Oh hell no. You're not doing this," Antonio tells you, earning a hard stare from you in return. "She's not doing this," he shifts his attention to Voight. "These...thugs are ruthless. They're killers."

Hank's eyebrow shoots up, wordlessly questioning Antonio. "Watch yourself there. Last I checked this was my unit. I give the orders."

"Sarge, if I may," you interrupt. "I'm willing to do this. I've successfully gone undercover before and I've gone alone," you remind not only your sergeant, but your boyfriend. "I want to do this." Your eyes fall to Antonio momentarily before looking back to Hank.

"Do whatever you need to prepare," he orders. You nod, reaching for your cell phone. Hank turns around and heads into his office. Antonio is hot on his heels, letting the door slam shut behind him after giving you a displeased look.

You huff an angry sigh. From his desk, Jay offers a sympathetic smile. "He's coming from a good place, y/n," he reminds you. "He's just scared. He knows you're more than capable of handling yourself out there."

Appreciating Jay's words, you nod your gratitude and make the call to set up this meeting.

You are fuming the entire walk up the stairs to your apartment. Antonio follows closely behind. You wait until the door closes completely before angrily spinning back in your heel to glare at him.

"Do you have any idea how demeaning and humiliating it is to not only have my boyfriend, but a superior colleague to react that way in front of my sergeant? Our sergeant? This is important, Antonio! And I'm not some rookie. I've done this before! You have no right-"

"You're right," his voice is calm and not at all what you expected to hear. "And I'm sorry, mi amor. I made sure to tell Voight before we left that I support you doing this and promised to not let my feelings compromise this case."

"Oh." You feel your anger start to dissipate. "In that case…can you order dinner, please? I'm going to take a quick shower." You stand on your tiptoes, pecking his lips softly with yours before heading to the bathroom.

Today was the day you and Jay, or rather your aliases Roxie and Ray (you relentlessly teased Jay about his lack of creativity), were meeting Sammy, having already built a rapport with some of the other members lower in the chain of command. If it went well, today should be the day you make the bust. Both of you step into the garage to meet the team and go over plans one last time. You're in a body flattering dress hitting right above your knees, Jay in a suit sans necktie.Your friends whoop and catcall Part of your personas was playing a bored, wealthy, money-motivated couple and you had to look, not just act, the part. As Antonio approaches, Jay excuses himself saying he'll be in the car waiting whenever you're ready. Antonio's voice is quiet. "There's still time. Don't do this."

"I thought you supported me."

"I did...I do! I just can't let you-"

"Let me?" You yell, earning the unwanted attention of those nearby. You shake your head, hurt and disappointment shine in y/e/c eyes. You walk away without another word, getting into the passenger side of the car

You reach the autobody garage the Scorpions use as a front. Immediately they pat you both down by a few members you've met during the time undercover. You're positive your inspection is more thorough as he squeezes your one ass cheek.

"Hey man," Jay shouts seeing you get groped.

"It's alright, babe," you wink. "Rico's only appreciating a good thing when he sees it." Rico smirks before declaring, "They're both clean."

Sammy, and another man you recognize from case files, Nic enter. "What's this? Who did you bring me?"

"These chumps are gonna be your new sellers."

Sammy's eyes hone in on you. You hold his gaze. "Hell naw," Nic says. "They brought you cops."

"Oh, please," you say, rolling your eyes. "With this face and ass-he knows, he felt it," you point to Rico, "I'm too fine to be a cop." You flash a cheeky smile.

"Bitch, shut up!" The back of his hand connects with your right cheek. The stinging causes your eyes to water. Beside you, Jay flinches; it's hard from him not to react.

'Listen man, I don't know what you think is going on. We just-"

"You can shut up, too."

You hear the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking, turning to see it pointed at Jay. Sammy gives a nod to one of the others.

"Look out," you try to warn Jay, but it's too late. The butt of a gun hits Jay in the temple and he gets kicked at the back of his knee until he falls to the ground. His head hits the cement flooring hard. You don't understand why the team hasn't busted in yet.

Nic's gaze is on you. "You testified at Dierk's hearing." His fist swings and it makes contact with your jaw. It's enough to make you sway but you remain on your feet. "He was my cousin you, stupid bitch. Get her in the car. Leave him."

As you're forced into a black SUV, you manage to choke out a weak,"Jay, " your stained voice sounding unrecognizable to your own ears.

The equipment they sent you in with was faulty. Voight was furious as was Antonio. They whole worked diligently to get video or audio, anything to keep tabs on you and Jay. It's not until the SUV, with you unbeknownst to them inside, peels out, that the whole team moves in and finds Jay bleeding and unconscious on the floor. Kevin reaches him first. "He's alive!" he shouts to the others. Adam radios for an ambo before he and the others continue to clear the building. Kevin gently shakes Jay awake. He groans, hands instantly reaching the side of his head. He makes to stand.

"Easy there, brother," Kevin warns. Jay lets Kevin help him to his feet. "We've got a bus on the way."

Jay nods, "I'm fine. Where's y/n?"

"She's not here. No one is," Hank answers as the rest of the team draw near Jay. Jay's stomach plummets as he realizes they've taken you, his partner.

"Son of a bitch!" Antonio yells, kicking an oil drum.

"We work fast to get y/l/n back," Hank declares. "Check for surveillance, witnesses. We find that SUV and we find y/n. Alive

Any means necessary. Let's move." The team disperses and his hand clasps Jay's shoulder. "You get checked out by medics first." Jay opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it quickly. He nods his compliance. Hank and Antonio follow him to the ambulance that's just arrived.

"Hey boss," Jay speaks, with a tentative glance to Antonio. "This went south when Nic recognized y/n as the detective who testified against his cousin. Hank pursed his lips, but even in his anger, the color drains from Antonio.

"Voight," Antonio's voice almost cracks.

"We'll get her back."

Bloodied and bruised, you're alive with very little clue as to where you are. Your survival skills kick in.

You take note of your surroundings. You think you're in an unfinished basement of a residence. Definitely a lower floor as you remember being tossed down a flight of stairs. Your hands are bound behind your back and tied to a support beam. The door to upstairs is locked and even if it wasn't, based on all the noise coming from the floors above you'd never make it out undetected.

The door opens and heavy footsteps make their way towards you. Nic comes into your line of vision.

You try reasoning with him, "As far as I'm concerned, nothing's been done that can't be undone. You just gotta let me go."

"You don't get it, do you? Maybe this will clear things up for you." He draws his gun, pressing it into the middle of your forehead

"But first I'm gonna fuck you real hard." His face inches from yours. Nic pulls the gun away. His stale, hot breath reeking as he stands too near. You couldn't help but scoff before you throw your head into his, headbutting him with all the might you could.

He cries out in agony.

"Stupid bitch." He backhands you. Then grabs you by the chin. His furious eyes never leave you and a rough hand claws at the skirt of your dress. You feel cold metal pressed against your thigh. "First, I'm gonna fuck that tight pussy with my gun inside you then-"

"Why?" You smirk. "Afraid you won't be able to get it up?" So much for those survival instincts. Anger flickers across his face. His free hand makes a fist. You dodge his swing and he instead makes contact with the pole. This enrages him more. Hastily Nic puts the gun back in his pants. Both his hands wrap themselves around your neck.

14 hours have gone by. That's how long it's been since Antonio's last seen you. He's hurt and getting desperate. With less than two hours of sleep (Antonio only went home after Voight said he wouldn't be any help without some rest), he was out trying to find any witnesses, checking traffic cams, and placing calls to all his CIs in hope that any of them might be able to give a lead. When one of them started stringing him along, Antonio jacked the guy up against an outside brick wall near the precinct. That's when Kim found him.

"We got something," she says in a hurry, fearing Antonio may do something he can't come back from.

The team picked up two Scorpion members and one is currently in the cage.

"Five minutes, Hank. Just give me the key and five minutes alone with this guy," Antonio pleads to his sergeant. From the cage, the Scorpion chuckles. Antonio lunges causing the chain links of the cage to rattle. He appears more animalistic than human and the laughter does immediately. "Where is she, you bastard?" Hank looks at the guy, still refusing to talk, then he unlocks the door for Antonio.

"Are you crazy? You can't let him in here with me," he shrieks.

"Your boss has one of our own. And she just so happens to be his girlfriend, so you're crazy if you think I could really stop him if I wanted to," Hank answers before moving away from the door and heading upstairs. The door barely swings open before Antonio steps inside, knocking the guy to his ass with one punch. He picks him up by the shirt collar preparing another blow when Jay and Adam come flying down the stairs.

"Get outta here!" Antonio yells.

"We got an address. Atwater and Kim they picked up another member and he talked," Adam says breathlessly. Antonio hesitates.

"C'mon on man," says Jay, "He's not worth any more of your time. If y/n's there, let's go bring her home."

Hours have passed. How many you're unsure, but as they ticked by your hopes of being found or escaping dwindled. Pain flows through your entire body. You sit on the cold, hard basement floor, unable to stand anymore. Nic had strangled you until you passed out. He never touched you like he promised and when you regained consciousness you were alone.

Shouts came from upstairs. You're unable to hear every word, but you catch enough to know they're talking about you.

"We need to move her now. We've kept her alive too long!" You hear footsteps and then the opening of the door. Nic appears before you, with a sinister grin. Your heart races as he nears. His eyes roam your body as he undoes his belt. He pulls you to your feet by your hair. A whimper escapes you and he laughs. Once again, his hands pull at the skirt of your dress. His hands travel along your thighs and ass squeezing both. His touch makes your skin crawl that you actually shudder. His fingers start to tug your underwear down when there's a commotion from upstairs.

"Freeze! Chicago PD."

"Drop the weapon!"

"On your knees! Face down."

"I said drop it!"

Your heart flutters with hope, but then shots ring out and you have no idea who's firing or what's happening up there.

"Down here!" You yell. The basement door opens.

"Chicago PD!" Antonio and Jay's voices ring out.

"One male. He's got a gun," you warn. As they rush down the stairs, Nic pulls his gun on you.

"Drop your weapon!" Jay orders. His eyes perfectly fixated on the gun in Nic's hands. Antonio eyes you carefully and while seeing you bruised and a gun to your head isn't ideal, he's relieved to see you alive. Your colleagues' guns stay fixed on your offender. "You won't be told again. Drop. Your. Weapon." Your eyes lock with your boyfriend's beautiful brown ones and you nod ever so slightly. You slide down the pole as Nic moves towards you as if he was going to use you as a shield. Both Antonio and Jay fire their guns. Blood splatters onto you. Jay moves to check the body, but all you really notice is Antonio running to you and it's honestly a beautiful sight. "Baby, baby, baby. Hang on. I got you," he soothes, working quickly to free your hands of the zip ties. Your head falls into his chest. Really your whole body just collapses into him. Antonio holds you close, careful not to embrace you too hard, but his touch has never felt better. You sob uncontrollably as he begins to rock you.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," you repeat.

"Shh. You did nothing wrong, mi amor. Shh, now, baby. I got you. You're safe again."

Immediately you're taken to the hospital. Blood is drawn,xrays taken, exams given. You've sustained several injuries, but nothing critical. Mostly you're bruised and exhausted, so when the machines you're hooked up to start beeping erratically, Antonio is confused and scared again, clearly demonstrated by that outburst directed at Jay.

He opens his mouth to apologize when Will Halstead exits your room.

"You can go back in now," he says simply.

The intelligence team looks at him, confused.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Y/n wasn't breathing properly."

"What?"

Will puts his hands up. "No no. She's fine. She can breathe. She was sleeping and wasn't breathing deep enough for the machine to register it. I promise she's fine."

There's a collective sigh of relief from everyone.

Antonio coming back into your room is a most welcoming sight. There's so much to say, but your eyelids are heavy with sleep. Instead you take his hand in yours. Antonio's free hand lovingly caresses your face.A feeling of safety washes over you and you drift off into a peaceful dream.

#antonio dawson x reader #antonio dawson x you #antonio dawson imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #antonio dawson #requested

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opera25 · 3 years

Note

Wow so I didn't think you would like my little angst thing that much but I'm no where near the level of sleepwalker anon and puhi. Also is it possible that I have been on Tumblr for less than 72 hrs and I'm alr getting recruited by an angst cult? Sorry to disappoint but Birdie, like many birds is mostly fluffy but then will screech at you with angst at some point in the day.

Anyway more angst ig (not as painful as last time tho). While in the hospital, Etho probably still has sleepwalking & sleep talking habits but now that Bdubs is constantly there out of concern, he has to painfully watch Etho mourn in his dreams, contemplating whether he should wake him up. Also if Etho does sit up in his sleep or just shows any sign that he might get out of bed, Bdubs would be the one to try to gently restrain him. But since poor Bdubs is probably sleep deprived, he would occasionally accidentally grab Etho's bandaged arms (cuz burns) to tightly when trying to get a hold of himself. This causes Etho to react in pain (not necessarily wake up tho) and Bdubs just cursing himself.

~Birdie

What are you doing here when you've only been on tumblr for 72 hours Birdie AKJSLAJasjhd You... may or may not be recruited and I'm taking full responsibility for it

Man these men be struggling so much... Such great ideas here. It's definitely painful for Bdubs to see Etho mourn for him now that they almost remember everything now... as silly as the 2nd Death Coffee sounds at first, I feel like it's kinda needed? I think Bdubs needs to realize that it's his best friend in front of him, not the invulnerable killer he's been seeing in his vision

#or something #im not a good writer i just draw okay;;#MLL #ope ask #anyways welcome to tumblr birdie!!! idk how youre here at my blog but ily!!

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readbythestarlight · 4 years

Text

c2e123

Fuck y’all I’m so scared

Let’s just all really focus some positive energy and pray nobody dies

So like Lucien knew they were plotting right

But he’s also superstitious as fuck and for whatever reason doesn’t want to kill them yet

So like he lets them read the book to tie them to him right

Like insurance

[[MORE]]

Fjord’s like "this is fucked I hope there’s a good explanation for this"

And there’s NOT the only explanation is that they’re MORONS who read a book they shouldn’t have

Veth NO

Yasha is like nO

Yasha is so WORRIED

Things just start happening for them and now Beau is cursed and it’s so unfair

Not the diamonds!!

If you don’t have at least enough diamonds to resurrect at LEAST half the party then you don’t have enough don’t waste them

Guys you can’t cut off their limbs

Does HE see through them or does the Somnovum

Travis is enjoying this way too much

Caleb. FUCKING. Widogast. Do NOT look at the book and Yasha you need to SHUT UP girl.

Oh boys wolves

Oh boy something WORSE than wolves?

MOTHER

FUCKER

IS IT *THE* WHITE DRAGON?

Shit shit fuck

Okay good maybe it’s after the wolves

Oh no it’s

Oh noooooo

FUCK A DUCK

NOOOOOOO

I knew it I knew it was her fuck

If anything we’ll see how powerful/actually pathetic Lucien is now but

Fuck man

Fjord!! Babe!!

I hope they kick dragon ass and Lucien /fears/ them

I also hope the Tomb Takers don’t let them do all the damage, saving their own spells while letting the M9 exhaust themselves to make easier targets

Legendary action from Lucien?? But okay it’s just a hold type action thing??

It’s nice that the TT’s are actually helping

Beau being up on top of her still is bad

See okay you’d think that the dragon would be the worst thing to happen tonight but this does not explain why it’s gonna be an extra long episode so now I’m just trying to decide what will be WORSE than the dragon

...cone of... what...

72 points oh fuck

Cad: "I’m a one wolf wolf pack, come on." xD

DAMN Veth

78 points of damage!

85!! Even better

MATT

Oh thank god for not doing that to poor Yasha

True Love’s Heal

Okay so I’ve been avoiding social media all day so I have no idea what’s coming but apparently the episode is almost SIX HOURS?! And the dragon fight can’t possibly lay THAT’ much longer so y’all I am AFRAID

Right okay Beau’s gonna get swallowed yet, lovely

And now she’s trying to fly AWAY

L: “Let him have her” you FUCK

Yasha immediately like “I’m gonna go running”

The Tomb Takers suck confirmed

Like forreal I wanted them to kill Lucien anyway but now I just want them to kill him *with extreme prejudice*

Caleb’s like “I got you empire sis!!”

Oh OUCH

But good job, Caleb

I hope now they finally realize there isn’t any Molly left in him

Why kill Otis when he seems like possibly a partially decent person

Like fuck Cree and Lucien sure

Yasha like “oh yeah I forgot about this lance strapped to my back, let’s fuck up this dragon!”

YES Yasha good throw! Do some damage

lol okay not much but I like the “Don’t touch my girlfriend!!” vibes

Oh c’mon Matt let her rage throw a grenade xD

So many Nat 20s this fight

Which I’m sure means they’re gonna miss the Nat 20s later

Nice healing Caduceus!

wow it’s good that he healed her huh

Here she goooooooes

“If it’s going we’re gonna let it go—“

Ashley: “I summoned this bitch we’re gonna END her!”

I’m glad she’s gone. They can deal with her later.

Also fuck Lucien.

Yaaaaas Fjord call him out

lmao Jester

Also unfortunately he’s got a point I guess but he still fucking sucks

I don’t know who I want to get the HDYWTDT on Lucien but right now I’m leaning between Cad and Jester and Fjord

KISS

“Anything for my Fjord”

lmao Veth xD

F: “What, I’m mad for her!”

V: “That’s a thing now?!”

It’s just Dagon I hope

Dagon during the dragon fight just like “wtf” like is it actually worth getting paid at this point man

They keep saying his name and not GOING to Essek and it makes me sad

Would polymorph let him keep his chair??

Listen I want Essek here but at the same time I do NOT want Essek here during the longest goddamn episode of the series

Okay okay shit they’re REALLY close, if they’re going to get help then Dagon is gonna have to BOOK it and the. Essek is gonna have to make up his mind QUICK

Oh god I hope there’s no dreams

Okay good some answers to some questions

Is hot boi planning to help? - YES

Can the eyes be used against them? - unknown

Do the TT plan to sacrifice them? - ...Unknown but probably not?

We got a solid yes about Essek tho which makes me happy because it really cements that whole he’s loyal to them

He’s so USELESS I love him

I hope this whole his being useless thing doesn’t hurt he and Jester’s relationship tbh

Mother FUCK

they STOLE their BAG

Fucking fuck those fucking sons of rats

MOTHER

FUCKERS

Not the BAG

They haven’t even RESTED

So they really did just need the damn crest the whole time so if y’all had just sent it off

Fuck

I agree I want the bag back

I’m so fucking SCARED we can’t go into this fight with no rest and low spell slots

Oh god okay oh god here we go

He’s gonna cut their spells

Blood curse of the EYELESS tho?

“That’s like an insta death”

Y: “better not be, I’ll kill him”

What did he do to Cad’s STUFF??

What did he do to CAD?!!!!

Okay not just Cas cause Caleb too so it’s an area

Stay AWAY from my boy

Oh god oh god

FUCK Lucien

“Oh like a beholder?”

YES EXACTLY

Poor Caduceus is so stressed!!

Counter counter counterspell

I’m so stressed I haven’t been able to make myself type

But I swear that if they weren’t half spent from the dragon they’d have managed to whoop them

YES Fjord YES smart boy

Fuck you Lucien

Honestly if they’d had al their spells they’d have done so much better against him

Oh my GOD though that was TENSE

But nobody’s DEAD thank god

But forreal I really think that if they had all their spells and health they could have taken them

And the best part is NOW they can FINALLY go to Essek!!

Love you too, Matt!

#cr spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers #emi watches critical role

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thoughtfulnerdcycle · 3 years

Note

all the even numbers (for the send in numbers to get an answer thingy) >:D

gonna be a long one :D

2: Age

19, born in 2001 lol

4: 3 things I love

music

my friends

animals

6: 4 turns off

(these are just a preference and only count for people i could be romantically attracted to u can have these things and we can still be friends)

dirty finger nails/uncared nails/hands

dreadlocks

crooked teeth

just personal preference not attacking anyone <3

8: Sexual orientation

lesbian

10: How tall am I

im around 5“3 or 161cm

12: What time were I born

around 8.30pm!

14: Do I have a crush

kinda recovering from a crush rn

16: Favorite place

my house if i’m alone and outside if i’m not alone

18: Do I use sarcasm

i think i try to but probably fail miserably

20: First thing I notice in new person

hands

eyes

lips

22: Eye color

brown :(

24: Favorite style of clothing

(korean) streetwear, or dark academia no in between

26: there’s no 26 lmao :D

🪨

28: Favorite movie

i love shrek lol and basketball diaries, very basic but i also like pulp fiction

30: Favorite band

queen, bon jovi, pink floyd, arctic monkeys, one ok rock, oisicle melonpan

32: Someone I love

my newest friend - she’s a lovely person and i alr feel like i’ve known her for years <3

34: My relationship with my parents

sometimes it’s pretty good but there’s no trust

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

i want tattoos don’t have any yet

i have s helix on my left ear and two ear lobes, two on my right ear and i used to have a nose piercing on the right side

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

i was 13 and not like other girls

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not really :( i want one

42: When did I last hold hands?

i don’t remember

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

not my friends bc they’re drunk too

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

my mom and my stepfather, idk where my father is

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

my best friend - i love him so much and he always listens

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

unless a quick hug counts idk if it counts then on thursday

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i trusted my ex best friend even tho i knew i shouldn’t

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

this is such a hard question tbh i can’t decide id love to meet all the famous people who died like Freddie Mercury or Kurt Cobain maybe Marilyn Monroe or just my soulmate lol

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can tie a knot with my tongue?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

i wish i was confident enough to be in front of it but i’m good behind lol

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i usually hate talking loudly at home as i’m scared my parents could hear so neither texting is best

64: Do I believe in magic?

dunno

66: What’s the weather like right now?

warm with a harsh find

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

does my chronic illness count lol

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

74: Favorite animal?

cats for pets and ducks for non domestic animals

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

cool people don’t use last names like zendaya

78: How can you win my heart?

give me attention and be as passionate as me (or just try) for my hyperfixations lol

80: What is my favorite word?

i love handlettering the word moist, girls, history and love

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

love is love

black lives matter

stop racism against asian people

stop the hate

but would probably be to nervous to talk ingrown of ppl i almost lost consciousness when i had to present smth in class

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation would’ve neat

86: What is my current desktop picture?

leafs lol

88: Bought condoms?

for a friend that had a hook up later that das but didn’t have enough time to get them lol

90: Failed a class?

yes but on purpose

92: Kissed a girl?

yes

94: Had a job?

kinda?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i don’t remember actively bullying anyone bc i always was against that but you never know if your words were perceived the way u wanted

98: Played on a sports team?

100: Did drugs?

only weed

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

104: Been overweight?

yes

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

does netflix count if yes then yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yes lol

112: Broken a bone?

114: Been to prom?

116: Fly by helicopter?

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

120: Wore make up?

pretty much everyday

122: Had oral sex?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

126: Had a surgery?

had 1 wisdom tooth removed haha

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

yes

130: Been fishing?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes :(

134: What do I want for birthday?

i’ve been saving up for an ipad past few months and i got almost half so maybe the other half of the money or smth idk i don’t do birthdays :D

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badbitchwhomeditates · 4 years

Text

Who the fuck is this bitch?!

Read that again.

The answer is complex, not simple, which is what complex means you dumb fuck ( beep language kiddo). Ok, lets try that again...

Bad Bitch Who Meditates, a 23 year old singer with dreams bigger than the world itself, which is both a good and a bad thing, we will get to the importance of duality later. Either way she´s been struck by lightning and pushed into a corner loads of times in an industry where you have to fight to be heard and seen through the smallest of cracks. And yes I might also speak about myself in third person a lot, simply because I'm practicing being the main character from all perspectives, telling my story but also making everyday feel like an adventurous movie ( therefore the narrator vibes help).

Complaining, complaning, victim mindset bla bla bla you might think, im not gonna bore you, you know that things can be quite shit and you’ve probably heard about the `struggling artist” and all of that before.

Lets spread some more negativity shall we ey?

Maybe not that either, im just welcoming you in to my brain and my stream of consciousness on the journey of becoming or remaining? we shall see.

Im not gonna be here being all fairy lights and glitter in my eyes either, I am tho some days, but lately I’ve been bad, not a bitch cause I would never, slightly a bitch towards myself and I haven’t really done my meditation, its like the second I put down ” bad bitch who meditates, thats my slogan” in a song, I was like, cool its in a tune now so I’ve done the work I can relax.

Nope, it doesn’t stop.

Consistency in self care, healthy habits and your mental diet, the way you speak to yourself, it doesn’t stop. And its fkn annoying sometimes, especially when your chemical imbalance is so imbalanced that you don’t wanna get out of bed. Ive probably dealed with anxiety and depression since my debut on X-factor, oh yeah shit sorry, I have a name too, Im Awa and I won X-factor Sweden at 15 years old, completely changed my life like a marriage, for better or for worse. In that marriage I found myself, lost myself and now im kind of finding myself again...

Ok this is the part below where you get to knoooow me or something...

I guess why I wanted to start blogging again is A) I need to hold myself accountable to remain consistent with my glow up, cause I can proudly say I’ve really done some amazing progress and inner work B) I need to continue doing that and find my healthy balance and not put too much pressure on myself, ya get me? C) maybe help take away the stigma regarding mental health, and I wanna focus on the solutions, thats my whole new life concept 10 % problems, 90 % solutions, like if we are discussing something thats the ratio. Cause how can we ever see a solution if we go slow dancing w the problem for ages?

I know it can feel fkn amazing and cozy, like when you’ve been in bed w someone thats clearly not good for your heartstrings but you stay there anyway because for right now it feels all warm and fuzzy.

Oh silly girl, I mean forgiveness, forgiving other people and forgiving myself that is def something we are going to have to discuss as well, its one of the things I’ve tried to commit to this year. Ive come to the conclusion that its harder forgiving yourself after being too nice, theres only so much space on the scale for resentment, but you go to bed with you all the time and you beat yourself up on why you allowed that to happen? (Did that make any sense??)

Again, another lesson, feedback that we can grow from. Mind management, one of my fav terms, mind over matter. Damn sure that can feel extremely provocative said in the wrong situation. Im gonna be honest on here, ill make an oath or whatever its called ( oh yeah im also Swedish so we will have communication problems here and there, but whatever, I call that acceptance) ill be honest, personal but not private cause I need to protect my energy.

I would declare myself a self care queen but babe writing this, I just had a massive argument w my friend, that made me sad ( oh im a cry baby too, thats even the title of my EP lol), I hate conflict but im really trying so hard to stand up for myself and understand that my feelings are valid too and that uncomfortable situations are growing pains for our souls. I had my first panic attack in ages because this year is just shit and things that I’ve worked on for so long just crumbled down in front of me and I just felt like I was again taking two steps forward and one step back but at least we are moving.

Im not all sad, I’ve rightfully so have had a few bad 72 hours I would say, I don’t like this time of the year that much. But I know why, because I've been slacking w my routines, the ones we´ve carefully selected through trial and error inna real life and w my therapist ( she's real too but you get what im sayin) , it's ok not to be ok either but we have to put some kind of time limit on it so we don't sink into that deep hole again, i don't wanna go back there and I know what keeps me with my head above water and sometimes even frkn flying. We wanna stay consistent w the flying, that feels good, that's a goal now ok? Cause I used to fall into that trap of the deep hole until the pain of the known got far greater than the fear of the unknown.

Im happy we are here today, because as I said 10/90, nothing last forever, good or bad, which is comforting. Things will get better and we hold so much more power in our minds and souls than we realize that ultimately will mirror how we experience life. So im going to be on here, at least once a week, my therapist tells me not to set up crazy goals that I know I might not do because then it will make me feel shit etc so once a week feels reasonable.

Im open to suggestions about what we can chat about, ill share my 10/90, I want my clever friends to maybe drop a quote or blog here and there, Im good on camera, like vlogs or some shit. I probably wont bring you around all the time cause I don’t have the technological brain cells for that to be very honest with you. Maybe ill just come up with cute formats to the camera, thats a word you are going to hear a lot, ”format”, I have a concierge business w my friend Amy on the side of my music career called ” Pure Intuition”, basically we create events, formats and campaigns for brands and make them come true with the right profile etc and we create FORMATS, but if you missed it or if I was unclear Im a super cool singer signed to Columbia UK which was my childhood dream, so we are going to make Columbia our BITCH in 2021 hihi <3 <3. I studied economic entrepreneurship in college and im very business savvy, I love creating formats lol. Im slowly but surely building my fempire. What else, boys, I like boys, men, cute ” god spent some extra time on you”- looking boys, I mean men. I guess we will touch on that in the most anonymous manner, maybe ill just share some past flings cause you know, they’re in the past, passé. So yeah who the fuck is this bitch? you will find out alongside me, myself and I

get ready for the ride

love and light,

badbitchwhomeditates

#badbitch #spiritual development #self improvement #selfcare #main character #music #singer #aestheitcs

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welshdragonrawr · 4 years

Note

For the “let’s get personal asks”.... all of them?? Please?? I’ll do anything 🙈 ~🍑

Anythiiiiing? That’s a mighty offer. I’ll try to keep these short and simple cuz there’s so many and poor moots will end up suffering a long post on their dash. But if anyone wants a long-winded elaboration on anything, feel free to ask.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift, Landslide by Stevie Nicks, In the End by Linkin Park, Perfect Places by Lorde, Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, Wasteland Baby by Hozier

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Sarah Paulson

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.However. Kits is glowering at me. I’m only too aware that...

4: What do you think about most? Life

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Your latest [redacted] phone bill is ready. Check it out in your [redacted] account

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With

7: What’s your strangest talent? Writing? It’s my only talent

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Girls are incredible. Boys are alright.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? About a month ago

11: Do you have any strange phobias? So many, not sure if they’re full-blown phobias tho

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No

13: What’s your religion? What’s the name for respecting aspects of a lot but not following one specifically?

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking?

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Fleetwood Mac

17: What was the last lie you told? I haven’t got you anything yet

18: Do you believe in karma? Yes

19: What does your URL mean? I used to live in Wales and I’m too stubborn/attached to change it

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Insecurity/Loyalty

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Sarah Paulson

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? No

23: How do you vent your anger? Writing

24: Do you have a collection of anything? Books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither Phone I think

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Yes and No

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Metal scratching glass/Sarah Paulson’s voice

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I had never gotten seriously ill when I did

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and Yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Phone/Blanket

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? Jacket potatoes cooking

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? [Redacted] Hospital

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hozier?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? To make the most of the miraculous fact we’re here at all

36: Define Art. Truth, Beauty, Horror and History

37: Do you believe in luck? Yes

38: What’s the weather like right now? Grey and overcast

39: What time is it? 1pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? No, so no

41: What was the last book you read? Thin Air by Michelle Paver

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? No

43: Do you have any nicknames? So many

44: What was the last film you saw? The Princess Diaries

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Just cuts and bruises so far luckily

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Sarah Paulson

48: What’s your sexual orientation? Lesbian

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? Yes

50: Do you believe in magic? Sometimes

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Sometimes

52: What is your astrological sign? Scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it? Save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Car accessories for a xmas present

55: Love or lust? Love

56: In a relationship? ‘It’s complicated’

57: How many relationships have you had? 3 I think?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yes

59: Where were you yesterday? At home

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Flowers

61: Are you wearing socks right now? No

62: What’s your favourite animal? Otter

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness

64: Where is your best friend? Too far away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. @serawalkerwrites, @sisterxwinters, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @thefandomlesbian, @awildgothappeared

66: What is your heritage? Not much

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Reading in bed

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Why don’t you ask him?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Yes

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Help the dog

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) certain people b) visit my loved ones c) yes

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? [Redacted]

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Communication, Kindness and Care

77: How can I win your heart? Be Kind

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Sometimes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Deciding to message the ones who’ve become my closest friends

80: What size shoes do you wear? 5 (european size)

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Don’t really know, probably something literary

82: What is your favourite word? Fernweh

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Loved ones

84: What is a saying you say a lot? Keep on keeping on

85: What’s the last song you listened to? This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Purple/Red/Blue

87: What is your current desktop picture? Drunk Princess Leia (cover art from Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher)

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? He who shall not be named

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? What are you truly afraid of?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Go back to sleep probably

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Telekinesis?

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Some time with my Aunt

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Onset of chronic illness

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Florence Welch

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Florida for reasons

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? No

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes

98: Ever been on a plane? Yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Be kind to one another. This world is a shitshow right now. Choose to be a good plot twist in it.

That was long, so congrats to anyone who actually sat through/read all that.

#ask things

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damienhaasbaybee · 4 years

Note

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

#not smosh #whippt for haas #thank u em #she got her 99 smooches

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mascaratearsnlipsticksmears · 4 years

Text

1..Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably My son

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until I’m

Comfortable

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My surgeon

4. Are you easy to get along with? I try to Be. Don’t give me a reason to not Like you 😉

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Never had someone take care of me from drinking .....I’m usually taking care of everyone else

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Loyal. Chill. Down to earth .

7. Are you married? No.

8. Do you want to get married? Eventually . I do , but I need it to be for the right reason.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Makes me feel Lonely lately believe it or not.... 😔

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Oh cool 😎”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

lil peep- star shopper

Brand new-Jesus Christ

Bebe rexha- I’m a mess

Anything Billie eillish

Doja cat -rules

Ashnikko-daisy

That’s more than 5, Idc

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t know anymore

15. What good thing happened this summer? Got a tan and not covid 👌🏼👌🏼

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My little guy? I will kiss him when ever I can cause one day he’s not gonna want me to and I’ll be sad

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes

19. Do you like bubble baths? 110%

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yea

21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking, caring to much.

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere

23. Do you have trust issues? No, people that scumbag me Normally get cut off so I only keep ppl around I trust.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Coffee & a bowl

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Uhhh everything from the chin down 😔

26. What do you do when you wake up? Set gage up for class in the living room

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Lauren Rayza

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? They don’t get the chance, yes a few tried to contact me but my mentality is fuck them.... one even tried emailing my friends to reach me 🙄🙄🖕🏼

30. Do you ever want to get married? I do, one day. Didn’t I just answer this

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Idk I’d have to think about it

33. Spell your name with your chin. The fuck?

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Bought a bike yesterday Lol. I used to be on the swim team and I played soccer~ also took dance for 7 years.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends on my mood

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Absolutely.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Try to avoid them at all Costs

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? No.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora Ulta Victoria secret

40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol I think that bridge has been crosses already

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone , no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Normally bad anxiety and hurting , or extremely chill

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yea I do.... but now I forget I have a mask on and look like a retard

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Can I just going fishing ?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My son.

46. What are you paranoid about? Money

47. Have you ever been high? There’s a joint in my hand.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Who writes these things??

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Eh wish I was still me with more $$$

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I don’t have to wish, I’m doing it.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Tarte, morphs, fenty

54. Favourite store? Didn’t I answer this?

55. Favourite blog? My own💚

56. Favourite colour? Black, Periwinkle , light lavender ,pink

57. Favourite food? Japanese

58. Last thing you ate? 8 hours slow cooked ribs

59. First thing you ate this morning? Coffee

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Probably & Idr

61. Been suspended/expelled? Started a food fight in the science lab and they suspended the wrong Angela ~Womp womp...I did get detention a lot cause my shirt was too low in the front tho.

62. Been arrested? No

63. Ever been in love? Yea I think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No. ☺️

65. Are you hungry right now? I could eat.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Meh

67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?yes

70. Names of your bestfriends? Stephanie Lauren Rayza Kat Christina

71. Craving something? A simple hand hold...😔.... compliment here or there . To not have to do everything myself... I crave the help I constantly ask for and never get. I crave dick, I just don’t understand this shit anymore.... damnit tumblr u struck a nerve .

72. What colour are your towels? Mixed

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk

75. Favourite animal? So many..... tigers maybe? & Lynx. Sharks.

76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any 😬

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Olive green

80. What colour pants? None on.

81. Favourite tv show? In the dark

82. Favourite movie? All 50 shades.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? First one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? How do these compare

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The Lebanese chick

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Turtles

87. First person you talked to today? Gage

88. Last person you talked to today? Myself

89. Name a person you hate? Hate is a strong word.

90. Name a person you love? Gage

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Lol Geoff

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? No idea

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many

95. Last movie you watched? “What if”

96. Favourite actress? Perry Mattfeld

97. Favourite actor? Hmmmm

98. Do you tan a lot?yassss

99. Have any pets? A zoo

100. How are you feeling? Confused, tired burning out ..

101. Do you type fast? I try

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes

103. Can you spell well? Eh

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Listing stuff on Etsy

109. Is something irritating you right now? No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Absolutely

111. Do you have trust issues? No, just don’t give me a reason too.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ohhhh I don’t cry in front of ppl,cause then there’s a witness... did cry today tho, but you couldn’t see me.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Angiefur

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?not really

116. Are you listening to music right now? No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? Crank

120. Are you afraid of the dark?some times

121. Are you mean? Don’t cross me 😘

122. Do you believe in “the one that got away”? Yes.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I try

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Idk

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? Yes

127. What makes you happy? Attention lol romance? I think romance is dead tho...

128. Would you change your name? My last name? If I were getting married, yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo

130. Do you like subway? Food yes, smelly train no....

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? All my besties have vaginas, nothing to worry about.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Brand new : Jesus Christ

134. Can you count to one million? Yea but why

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t lie so I don’t have that problem

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed Cause only 1 Of my 4 asshole cats I allowed in my room

137. How tall are you? Oh how short am I? 5’1

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Right now black

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day? Summer nights

142. Favourite month? August

143. Are you a vegetarian? Keto

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

146. Was today a good day? I think so

147. Mars or Snickers? Dark chocolate Milky Way

148. What’s your favourite quote? I’d have to think about it

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“His thumb brushes my lower lip, and his breath hitches. He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment, or maybe it’s forever…but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in twenty-one years, I want to be kissed.”

Excerpt From

Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed

E L James

This material may be protected by copyright.

#Spotify

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isrustandstardust · 4 years

Text

1: Full name: Selena.

2: Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

3: 3 Fears: Abandonment. Not being good enough. Being lied to.

4: 3 things I love: Bones. Corpses. Books.

5: 4 turns on: Intelligence. Perversions. Sarcasm. Violence.

6: 4 turns off: Stupidity. Ignorance. Lack of hygiene. High pitched voices.

7: My best friend: Is the best bitch ever.

8: Sexual orientation: Bisex.

9: My best first date: A dinner and a walk by the lake.

10: How tall am I: 165 cm.

11: What do I miss: Woland, sometimes.

12: What time were I born: 3.45 a.m.

13: Favourite color: Teal.

14: Do I have a crush: Yup.

15: Favourite quote: So it goes.

16: Favourite place: Como.

17: Favourite food: Red meat, raw.

18: Do I use sarcasm: Way too much.

19: What am I listening to right now: I’m watching ‘my 600lb life’ on tv.

20: First thing I notice in new person: If he looks me in the eyes or not.

21: Shoe size: 38/39.

22: Eye color: Reddish brown.

23: Hair color: Chocolate.

24: Favourite style of clothing: Urban/edgy/grunge.

25: Ever done a prank call? When I was little.

26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now? Black.

27: Meaning behind my URL: It’s a Nabokov’s quote.

28: Favourite movies: The Fountain, In the mood for love, Bin Jip, The pillow book, Only lovers left alive, Stoker.

29: Favourite song: Too hard to say.

30: Favourite band: Same. Maybe Tool.

31: How I feel right now: Relaxed.

32: Someone I love: My hubby.

33: My current relationship status: Happily married.

34: My relationship with my parents: No relationship with my mother, a distant one with my father.

35: Favourite holiday: Christmas.

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: 15 tattoos, no piercings atm.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: I want to do some surfaces again and I want to ink both my arms. Full sleeves.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I wanted a safe space to write.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? No, we just have no relationship whatsoever.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? When my husband is on tour.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Yup.

42: When did I last hold hands? A few hours ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope, I don’t need it.

45: Where am I right now? On the couch.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My husband, my friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Way too loud!

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No. I live by myself since I was 18.

49: Am I excited for anything? In a few days I’ll begin renovating my home!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Sure.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Daily.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? That could be a problem.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? No, I’m very careful when it comes to trust people.

55: What is something I disliked about today? My stomach aching like crazy.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I’d love to have a chat with Jodorowsky.

57: What do I think about most? Work, work, work.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Deep water, strange fishes.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, I’m a director, not an actress.

61: What was the last lie I told? I’m not hungry.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Texting.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I believe in aliens, I’m fairly sure that something similar to ghost actually exist.

64: Do I believe in magic? Kinda.

65: Do I believe in luck? Yup.

66: What's the weather like right now? Fucking cold.

67: What was the last book I've read? A criminology book.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? A lot.

69: Do I have any nicknames? MissFortune, Sally.

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? Never had one.

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save it. I know what it means to have nothing. At all. I don’t want to find myself in that situation ever again.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Nope.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Nope. I don’t like pink very much.

74: Favourite animal? Snakes, moths.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Still working.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I know his name is Woland.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Do you realize - the flaming lips.

78: How can you win my heart? Be kind, be honest.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t want a tombstone, I want to be cremated.

80: What is my favorite word? Weltschmerz.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr. No idea tbh.

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Read a book, study something, stop being stupid.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Nope.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Mind control.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? When was the last time you ate?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Mass Effect’s reapers attacking earth.

87: Had sex? Two days ago.

88: Bought condoms? A few years ago.

89: Gotten pregnant? Never.

90: Failed a class? Never.

91: Kissed a boy? A man. A few minutes ago.

92: Kissed a girl? Cannot recall.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yup.

94: Had job? Of course.

95: Left the house without my wallet? Maybe.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nope, been bullied tho.

97: Had sex in public? Yep.

98: Played on a sports team? Nope.

99: Smoked weed? Yes.

100: Did drugs? Three times.

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yup.

102: Drank alcohol? Of course.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope, been vegan for a year but my health went to hell.

104: Been overweight? I was a little chubby when I was little.

105: Been underweight? Almost all my adult life.

106: Been to a wedding? Sure.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Daily.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yup. I love binge watching things.

109: Been outside my home country? Sure.

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once.

111: Been to a professional sports game? No.

112: Broken a bone? Never.

113: Cut myself? I self harmed for years. Been clean for the past four and a half.

114: Been to prom? No.

115: Been in airplane? Yup.

116: Fly by helicopter? No, but I’d love to.

117: What concerts have I been to? Slayeeeeeeer! This is the first that comes to mind.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Of course.

119: Learned another language? Yup.

120: Wore make up? Daily.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope.

122: Had oral sex? Sure.

123: Dyed my hair? The last time I went blonde for my wedding, almost three years ago.

124: Voted in a presidential election? I voted, here in Italy, for every election.

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sadly, yes.

126: Had a surgery? Nope.

127: Met someone famous? More or less.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? A few times.

129: Peed outside? Yup.

130: Been fishing? I actually enjoy it a lot.

131: Helped with charity? Not that I recall.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Not in a while.

133: Broken a mirror? Nope.

134: What do I want for birthday? Being spoiled.

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? One. Nero if he’s a boy, Alya if she’s a girl.

136: Was I named after anyone? After a book character.

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s not bad.

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? I didn’t have one. Maybe my art supplies.

139: Favourite Tv Show? Atm: Supersized vs Superskinny.

140: Where do I want to live when older? Iceland.

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m learning to play drums.

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Almost all my scars are from self harming.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Cheeeeeeeeeese!

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nope. I feel at home in it.

145: Am I afraid of heights? A lot.

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Doing something bad, surely.

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Sometimes.

148: What I'm really bad at: Bowling.

149: What my greatest achievments are: I earn my own living since I was 18.

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: That I should never been born, I guess.

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery: Sell my house and go live abroad.

152: What do I like about myself: My willpower.

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I don’t have one.

154: Something I fantasise about: My future.

155: Any question I’d like: I have no preferences, ask away.

#survey #about me #meet the artist

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oeillade · 4 years

Text

Anne and Aunt Anne find the lakes beautifully grand but Caradoc stumbles and falls at Kirkstone. They pot some excellent char, hereabouts.

1824

August Monday 2

5 3/4

1 25/60

Off from Pooley bridge at 7 and stopt at Patterdale a minute or 2 before 9 — beautiful drive the lake (Ullswater) winds beautifully the mountains very fine thrown together — clustered together around the head of the lake — Hallsteads, Mr. Marshall’s (vide Otley’s guide page 72) the largest and best looking lake-house (excluding perhaps on Windemere) we have seen — the grounds very prettily laid out — took a little stroll to the church — a fine old yew tree in the church yard — a poorish sort of quiet village — breakfast at 9 1/2 — good bread and butter and milk — most excellent potted char of which I ate a great deal — they pot a great deal — get the fish best at this time of year — quite different from the account we heard at Bowness and Scale hill — the fish very good, but rather smaller in this lake than the others — Mr. William Vernon and his bride have been here and ordered a couple of 1/2 guinea pots for the archbishop which are just going off — off from Patterdale at 11 ¼ — the 1st 3 miles pretty fair road — the rest tremendously hilly — 3 miles of steep ascent to the top of Kirkstone —narrow road precipice on our right, and no fence, for a great part of the way — rough and stony, indeed were it smooth, the horses could not keep on their feet — great many gates — the gateways so narrow as only just to admit the carriage — not far from the bottom of Kirkstone there not being room for George to hold the gate open, Caradoc got up a heap of rock and stones, and came down upon his knees and broad side and rolled off George — luckily neither were at all hurt — my aunt frightened — after this from 12 1/2 to 1 10/60 I got out, and George led the little horse (the hack in the gig this stage) up to the top of the hill and I led Caradoc — magnificent mountain scenery — the dale very narrow — the river Eamont at our feet — but such a tremendous carriage road I never beheld — that terrible hill in the old road from Llangollen to Ruthin in 1821, was not to be compared with it — never shall we forget Patterdale — about 6 miles to the top of Kirkstone — there about 4 of steep descent up. Ambleside present fine views of Windemere and Coniston water (which, by the way, are for a considerable while so seen as to appear like 2 small lakes one behind the other) and the surrounding mountain scenery which is beautifully grand at the head of Windermere — this is the lake for livable beauty — and we prefer it to all the rest — Ullswater comes next with my aunt — the retired pastoral beauty of the lake and village of Grasmere please me, or the magnificent beauty of Derwentwater — but the head of Ullswater — the pile of huge mountains hurled together is magnificently grand — but the scenery about here, Ambleside, perhaps better unites beauty with sublimity than anything we have seen hereabouts except the vale of Keswick — on arriving at Pooley bridge last night, we thought it such an ale-house sort of place we longed to have gone forwards to Patterdale — on arriving there this morn[in]g and seeing the house smaller and worse than that at Pooley (we had to enter thro,’ tho’ not exactly the cooking kitchen, the room where the men servants breakfasted) we were satisfied with our quarters last night — Tremendous as is the pass over Kirkstone for carriages, it is the high road from here — Ambleside to Penrith — got here in 3 1/4 hours at 2 1/2 — so sleepy, could hardly keep my eyes open — ordered dinner and beds — the house so full, only one double bedded room for us — a gentle and little boy his son left us the little parlour upstairs we had before — Slept from about 2 3/4 to 4 3/4 —then looking at the road back etc. — fixing our route home from Lancaster — Dinner at 6 40/60 — roast leg of lamb very good — boiled chicken with white sauce — good potatoes and cauliflower and gooseberry tart — very good dinner — pint of port wine — not good — made negus of it after drinking one wine glass each at dinner — Never tasted such wine at any Inn as that on Saturday at Penrith, except at Chester in 1821 — In the evening wrote the last 26 1/2 lines — and settled the accounts of the day — and wrote the marginal index from last Thursday up to tonight all which took me till 10 35/60 — Fine day till between 5 and 6, then a couple of hours rain — very thick this morning on the tops of the mountains — my aunt got a little cold yesterday in going to church, and could scarce stir this morning — she is rather better now tho’ from her feelings of pain, auguring a change of weather — she went to bed at 10 — our little room made into my dressing room.

#anne lister code breaker #anne lister #1824

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xopinkmilk18xo · 4 years

Text

Get to know me!

1. Name

Courtney Jane Smith

2. Nationality

Australian

3. Age

4. Birthday

11th December 2001

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)

Sagittarius / Ophiuchus

6. Gender

Female

7. Sexuality

Bisexual💙💖💜

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Ew I know

9. What do you/did you study?

I will be going on to study Children’s Nursing at University but in school I studied Sociology, Photography and Childcare

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?

I currently hold a part time job at my local corner shop, but will hopefully end up with a job as a children’s nurse or something to do with childcare:)

11. Your birth order

Aaron, Charlotte, Abbey, Me:), Lacey

(I think that is what this means)

12. How many siblings do you have?

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Yes but not with my first oldest sister

14. How many friends do you have?

Like 2 lol

15. Your relationship status

Taken🥰

16. What do you look for in a SO?

Good personality, being good looking helps (dont want to date a troll u know) and well I guess that’s it really

17. Do you have a crush?

Yes on my boyfriend

18. When did you have your first kiss?

When I was 14

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Serious and meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?

I’m not really sure:/

21. How was your day?

It was okay, could’ve been better but overall it was meh

22. Favourite food & drink

I love pasta like I could marry pasta haha. And my favourite drink is probably either fresh orange juice or something fizzy

23. What position do you sleep in?

On my side, hugging my pillow with my leg out as if it’s straddling someone (I’m lonely, my boyfriend needs to stay over at some point)

24. What was your last dream about?

I honestly wish I could remember but they are so fucking crazy right now

25. Your fears

Spiders, snakes, heights, large crowds, death (morbid I know) and being lonely:(

26. Your dreams

To travel the world with my baby🥺 as well as buy my own house, get my dream career, get married and have babies (basic I know but this is what I want in life and will feel so lucky and blessed if this happens)

27. Your goals

Same as the above I guess? To travel the world with the loml, become a child nurse, get my dream house then get married, have babies and live a happy long life:)

28. Any pets?

Yes! A cat called Binka and a dog called Shiro (Japanese for White as he is a white Japanese Akita)

29. What are your hobbies?

Cooking, baking, cleaning (weird I know), singing, dancing and sleeping haha

30. Any cool places in your area?

Um, I mean I live about 30 minutes from the beach and it has a “hidden cave” (it’s quite easy to spot if you know where it is) that I go to with a few friends some nights and watch the sunset. So that’s pretty cool

31. What was your last awkward situation?

They happen so often I don’t even know which one to write about I’m such an awkward person lol

32. What is your last regret?

I don’t know really

33. Language/s you can speak

I can speak Italian, Spanish, Russian and some French

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

To a certain extent, yes

35. Have any quirks?

Um I’m not sure?

36. Your pet peeves

I have so many but my BIGGEST pet peeve is the people who like to one-up a situation so I have a friend like this but she’s like one of my only friends so I don’t want to say anything woops but for example I could say to her “I only got 5 hours sleep” she would then turn around and be like “oh well I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 3am and couldn’t sleep” it’s like okay cool but stop trying to one up me thank u bye

37. Ideal vacation

DisneyWorld or Bora Bora (two complete different places I know but I’ve been to both many times and they’re both amazing)

38. Any scars?

I have a scar on my chin from when I hit it on the stair rail when I was a child and I have a surgery scar from when I had my appendix removed

39. What does your last text message say?

It’s me texting my email to my boyfriend because he needed it for something (kinda personal nothing bad tho)

40. Last 5 things from your search history

Majority of it right now is me googling Birthday presents for a family member as well as flight times because I was curious what the time from LA to Texas was haha

41. What’s your [device] background?

Lock screen is me and my boyfriend and my home screen is a flower picture I took

42. What do you daydream about?

A lot of different things, it all depends on how I’m feeling

43. Describe your dream home

Something small and quaint yet modern and big enough to raise a big family

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion

I have nothing against religion and what people believe in. I personally am not religious but I do believe in something. Not God or Jesus but I believe that something like that HAS to exists (sorry if I offended anyone I really did not mean to:/)

45. Your personality type

Really shy and quiet (social anxiety tings😚dont worry I have actually been diagnosed) but ince you get to know me I come out of my shell a bit more

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done

Went sky diving (it was terrifying)

47. Are you happy with your current life?

Yes but no

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life

I don’t really know how the hell to answer this question I’m sorry🥺

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

A lot of different colours but I wear mainly grey and black clothes hehe

50. Favourite colour to wear?

Black or grey🤪

51. How would you describe your style?

I don’t really know, definitely not trendy I can tell you that but all the styles I want to try I just KNOW will look bad on me

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Not really no lol😚✌🏼

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I honestly would change my entire face, especially my nose, if it was smaller I’d feel slightly better about my appearance (nothing against big noses lol I just don’t like mine)

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I had my ears and nose pierced but took them out and just forgot to put them back in and now the holes have sorta closed up.

I then also have a small turtle on my ankle - for a close friend (still alive lol but it’s just a nice thing to have) and I have plans to get a few more just need to decided when I want them because I keep chickening out

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes sorta but only by my boyfriend

56. Favourite aesthetic?

I’m not sure?

57. A popular trend that you dislike

I’m not really aware of any popular trends as of right now tbh

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

Adore You by Harry Styles and for some reason Feel so Close by Calvin Harris

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.

Mr Brightside - I hate the song (dont attack me pls) but it lowkey, high key is a BOP

60. Favourite genre?

Mainly throwback songs so I guess pop songs? Tbh my genre of music is all over the place

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?

I love 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction but that’s it really

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

I HATE Dance Monkey and High Hopes (they get on my nerves so much idk why)

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5

September - Earth Wind & Fire

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

Jealous - Labrinth

Bad Romance - Halestorm (such a bop)

Break Free - Ariana Grande

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing, I also play piano and guitar (strings have broken though and so haven’t played in a while)

65. Do you like karaoke?

I LOVE karaoke

66. Own any albums?

Yes, mainly 5SOS and One Direction haha

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?

Sometimes, no particular station as I only listen to it to fill in the silence in certain situations

68. Favourite movie/series?

I love the Frozen films but also the Harry Potter films sooooo much

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc

I don’t really have a favourite tbh

70. Your fictional crush/es

I know it’s typical but I have the biggest crush on Harry Potter lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

I don’t know?

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so

No not really

73. Favourite greek god?

I don’t have a favourite Greek god but I like Athena purely because I like the name haha

74. A legend from where you live that you like

I don’t really know of any legends however there is a myth that a Panther is on the loose in the Blue Mountains

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?

I like to look at art and admire it however I do not have a favourite artist or anything like that

76. Can you share your other social media?

I sure can:)

Twitter Instagram Wattpad

Snapchat - cjmushmush (you don’t have to add it and also don’t question the name I was 11)

77. Favourite youtubers?

Shane Dawson, Ryland Adams, Morgan Adams, Jeffree Star and The Dolan Twins

78. Favourite platform?

I am obsessed with Tik Tok so I’d say that’s probs my fave

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?

Far too much I can tell you that

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?

I used to play minecraft and now all I do is play Sims 3 and 4 which are my absolute faves

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)

I don’t really have any

82. Do you play board/card games?

Yes but not very often

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

No I didn’t even know that was a thing

84. Favourite holiday

I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH❤️💚❤️💚

85. Are you into dramas?

Yes

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?

I don’t know what a death note is?

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I wouldn’t choose world peace because then everything would be the same and it would be boring but if I had the power I would make sure everyone had a stable home with at least hot clean water and a nice warm bed, as well as curing world hunger because I’m nice like that

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Probably not

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A ghost

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Become a ghost haha

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

Anything but Courtney - my name was almost Octavia so that would also be out of the question

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?

So many people I’d love to do this with so I’m not sure

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🦥 (only because I love sloths)

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

(these are the most random things I’m sorry)

I was born in the UK (not true, born in Sydney)

I am not single (True, I am in a relationship:))

I love avocado (I actually DESPISE IT)

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because that can = snuggles duh

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Be a villain because I hate the attention (hero would probs get a lot of attention) and everyone hates me anyway lol

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Probably sing everything considering I do that a lot anyway

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Control time because I’d go back to the past a change some things then go back to today so I can still be with my boyfriend❤️

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Be immortal that would be pretty fun

100. ….. or …..?

What does this one even mean?

#gettoknowme #gettoknowmequestions #gettoknowmetag

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