#it was nice and i really liked the effects and the designs were stellar

[t-u-i-t-c]

Final Chapter: Tomorrow's Legends

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The First Shadow Review

Synopsis: Following a horrific incident from their previous life in Nevada, the Creel family relocates to Hawkins, Indiana in an attempt to make a fresh start and instill a sense of normalcy in their son, Henry Creel. However, Henry is anything but normal, and harbors a dark secret of his own that scares both himself and his family. When a series of gruesome animal killings takes place, attracting the attention of a group of teenage outcasts and a Doctor with his own agenda, Henry realizes his secret is about to be exposed, and is forced into a reckoning that will change the course of his life, and of Hawkins, forever.........

Observations:

FINALLY!!!!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to see The First Shadow. As far back as January, we got tickets and made plans to travel to London specifically for this. Last Thursday (June 20, 2024), we were able to view it on-stage.

Was it worth it? Short answer: YES.

This is going to be divided into several parts. The first bit will detail my experience at the play, and the remaining parts will contain SPOILER HEAVY analysis of the story, the characters, and plot revelations tied directly to the mythology of the show. There's a lot to speculate on where the Duffer Brothers will take the final season from here.

Part 1: My Experience

In terms of production value, this was top-notch. I loved the set designs, from Hawkins High School, to the classic 50s Diner the characters hang out at, to the gothic Creel House, to the cold white rooms of Hawkins Lab, to the hellish landscape of Upside Down, and so on. The 50s aesthetic works well, and there were multiple shots that conveyed the sense I was watching an episode from the show.

The special effects were spectacular. Huge shout-out to the way they choreographed the mutilation of both animals and humans. It actually looked like bones being snapped and limbs twisted around. There's even a disturbing scene where Hopper and Bob are digging up the carcass of a butchered cat, and the prop they used for it looked realistic (combined with dirt and blood for nauseating effect). The lighting also helped elevate the creepiness of it all.

The music was also great. They had a nice selection of 50s songs, but they also brought back familiar themes from the show. One of my favorite musical cues was the use of Philip Glass's "Window of Appearances" which is heard when Vecna's origins are revealed in "The Massacre at Hawkins Lab" (Season 4, Episode 7). They also use it in the climax of this play:

The actors brought their A-game, but the two performances that really stood out for me were Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel. Pappas does a stellar job combining Joyce's world-weary "I'm sick of everyone's bullshit" attitude with the fierceness that makes Joyce stand out as a character. It reminded me a little of Natalia Dyer's performance as Nancy Wheeler, especially with the "take charge" attitude that both of them have.

As for McCartney, he was the show-stealer. I didn't go into this play expecting to feel any sympathy for Vecna, but the emotional depth McCartney brings to his performance elevates the character to a 3-dimensional complex tragic villain, which makes his eventual fall to evil all the more heartbreaking.

The audience I was with was fully immersed. Most of the jokes got a laugh, there were a few screams when jump-scares occurred, and there was a standing ovation at the end when the cast came out to give a bow. Even during intermission, everyone was chatting happily about the play, and I heard nothing but compliments.

My only regret is, due to a scheduling conflict that day, we ended up missing the first 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us in the theater until the title cards came up. We did see parts of the beginning on a TV screen in the lobby (and one of the patrons was gracious enough to fill us in on what happened), but I wish I'd been in the theater for the beginning. My advice is GET THERE EARLY if you plan to see it. The theater fills quickly, and they may not let you in at certain points.

The only minor nitpick I have about the quality of the play is there were a few moments I had a hard time understanding what certain characters were saying. This was mostly in the scenes with Henry/One/Vecna when he was either screaming or alternating to his demonic voice. I was usually able to figure out what was going on, but I wish the dialogue had been clearer.

Overall, this was a fun experience, and I even brought back memorabilia from it:

Part 2: Characters/Story (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's pretty much advertised in the synopsis, but the play takes place in 1959 when Joyce, Hopper, and Bob are in high school during the time the Creel family moves into Hawkins. The story is largely centered on Henry Creel's villain origins as he becomes more unhinged due to the power he possesses. This leads to a series of pet killings in Hawkins that catches the attention of Hopper, who ropes in both Joyce and Bob to investigate and find the culprit. All the while, Joyce is struggling to put on a play at Hawkins High School (i.e. The Dark of the Moon), which coincidentally happens to have Henry/One/Vecna as the main star! :)

These three arcs sound like they shouldn't connect at all, but to the Duffer Brothers credit, they manage to thread them in a way that's believable and engaging. Joyce's exasperated attempts to get The Dark of the Moon off the ground provide some light comedy to what is essentially a grim story, and it was a nice way for the audience to see all the adult characters from the show (i.e. Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Al Munson, Lonnie Byers, Sue Sinclair, Charles Sinclair, etc) as they were during their teen years.

The investigation of Hopper, Joyce, and Bob into the pet killings hearkens back to the old-fashioned dynamic the Party had in the first season when they were looking into Will's disappearance.

As for Henry/One/Vecna, his arc was well executed and horrifying on so many levels:

The way a young Henry Creel was portrayed in this play was oddly endearing. I mentioned earlier that McCartney brings a lot of emotional depth to the character, and by that, I mean he portrays teenage Henry as awkward, shy, creepy, funny, and even sympathetic at times. He's a kid who doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin, who has a hard time interacting with other people, and has powers that frighten him with the added side-effect of NOT knowing how to control them yet. Victor Creel mentioned to Nancy and Robin in S4 that Henry was a "sensitive child" and it turns out that was meant literally: Lights go on or off (or even explode) whenever Henry's mood fluctuates (making Henry constantly jumpy), he can unknowingly tune into the radio with his powers and mistakes it for voices in his head, he can read the thoughts/moods of other people, he can create illusions (similar to Kali/Eight), and whenever he tries experimenting with his powers, it ends in disaster. In short, he's someone who's terrified of his own shadow, and almost everything in his environment sets him off. At the same time though, there are some relatable qualities to him, such as his love for comics like Captain Midnight (which he eagerly shares with Patty), and there is an internal struggle he deals with for most of the play to genuinely be a good person in spite of the demons (both literal and figurative) that threaten to overwhelm him. He reminds me of Will Byers in some ways, and I am dead sure that parallel between these two characters was intentional on the Duffer Brothers part.

Contrary to what's implied on the show, it turns out Henry had his powers long before he moved to Hawkins. Previously, he lived in Rachel, Nevada until an incident between him and another boy resulted in said boy ending up in a wheelchair. It's ambiguous whether Henry deliberately attacked the boy or if it was an accident (it could have been either one), but it was enough to force his family to move. His parents (particularly his mother) are insistent on pretending everything is normal and that Henry will eventually get better, all the while putting more of an emotional strain on Henry as he tries (and fails) to conform.

We get a little more insight into Henry's parents, and it's not pretty: Victor Creel was already established on the show as a war veteran with severe trauma and PTSD over killing innocents during a raid, and the play depicts him the same way, with the added effect of being so wrapped up with his own issues that he fails to see his own son spiraling. The sad thing is there are scenes indicating he does love Henry (and also defends Henry's relationship with Patty, referring to it as "puppy love") but he isn't able to convey that in a way which makes Henry feel safe.

As for Virginia Creel, I don't know if this was intentional in the narration, but I found her unlikable. Putting aside the unsettling 50s Stepford Wife persona she projected, her treatment of Henry bordered on emotional abuse. She likely didn't intend that, but everything, from her attempts to keep Henry isolated from the one relationship that brings him any happiness, to constantly treating him like a time bomb waiting to go off, to pretending everything is okay when it isn't.........all of this causes whatever mother/son relationship she has with Henry to deteriorate. There's even one nasty scene where she smacks him, though she quickly regrets it when Henry lashes out in anger and forces his mom to witness a vision of herself being covered in spiders when she was locked in the closet by her abusive parents as a child. In some ways, it reminded me a little of the Norma/Norman Bates relationship from the Psycho series (minus the incest subtext) in how unhealthy it is. It was deeply uncomfortable seeing her attempt to force Henry to be something he wasn't just so she could maintain the image that she and her family were perfect. And when she realized she couldn't do that, she finally tried to wash her hands of Henry the moment Dr. Brenner showed up and offered to take Henry into his care ("Lock him up and throw away the key" to paraphrase one of her comments). I get that this is set in the 50s where there's plenty of values dissonance with how parents raised their kids at that time, and there is some context behind why she was scared of her son and his behavior (because there were times Henry wasn't acting okay), but she still handled this situation poorly and contributed to Henry internalizing his trauma and insecurities until they exploded out of him in the worst possible way. It was bad enough that Henry was dealing with something he didn't understand, but she needlessly added on to those problems.

Alice (Henry's sister) is also in the play, but she only appears in a few brief scenes, and sadly doesn't get a lot of characterization beyond being the "cheerful child" in the family. It's implied she knows that something is wrong with her brother, but doesn't look closely at it. Interestingly, they portray her like she's Henry's younger sister, even though the show established that she's supposed to be older (There's a news article in S4 that claims Henry was 12 and Alice was 15 when the Creel murders happened). Other than that, there isn't really much to say about Alice.

The three main characters (Joyce, Hopper, Bob) have their familiar quirks that will follow them into adulthood: Bob is nerdy, smart, good with technology (which comes in handy in their investigation) and the host of a radio show. Hopper is the disgruntled son of the Chief of Police who's trying to make something of his life. Joyce is high-strung, in a dead-end relationship with Lonnie, and trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. In a way, I'm reminded of the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy dynamic we briefly got in the S1 finale, with Joyce having similarities to Nancy, Bob to Jonathan, and Hopper to Steve. This was clearly set up as a love triangle between the 3 of them, and I have to question if the Duffer Brothers deliberately did this to foreshadow what could end up happening between Steve/Jonathan/Nancy in S5. In any case, Joyce, Hopper, and Bob investigate the animal killings when they start to happen, and while they come close to figuring out who it is, they ultimately miss the mark and pin the crime on the wrong person (Poor Victor Creel). Sadly, by that time, it's too late, and both Virginia and Alice Creel are dead.

There is a new character introduced named Patty Newby who plays an important role. She's the adopted sister of Bob and was revealed to have been taken in (or stolen as a child, as Henry later claims) by Bob's father, Principal Newby. Despite his misanthropy and awkward nature, Henry takes an interest in Patty, and the two of them develop genuine affection for one another. When Patty auditions for Joyce's play, Henry helps her with her lines (which leads to both of them getting cast as the main leads), and later feels comfortable enough to share his secret powers with her, including giving her a glamorous vision of starring and singing in a Las Vegas show. Against all odds, I actually found the relationship between Henry and Patty to be cute. Not only did it humanize Henry, but the way it was presented made sense: Both of them are outcasts with deep insecurities that they're trying to work through. Patty feels like an outsider in her family and at school due to her race (which isn't helped by people like Dustin's father making disgustingly bigoted comment towards her during class) and her complicated relationship with her adopted dad, who treats her coldly. Since Henry also feels like an outcast in his family, he's able to empathize with her, and both of them try to encourage the best in one another. In a moment of genuine kindness, Henry helps Patty locate her biological mother (who coincidentally is also a singer), and Patty returns the favor by trying to encourage Henry into believing that he is a good person and that there are positives with his powers.

I know some fans will complain about how Patty was never mentioned on the show even though she's supposed to be adopted siblings with Bob, but I'm not bothered by that. Nothing about her existence contradicts anything on the show, and it was nice to see a redeemable side to Henry that proves he wasn't a complete monster to begin with. The only thing that's harsher in hindsight is that, because Patty and Bob were close growing up, and because of Henry's affection for Patty, it makes what he does to Bob in S2 (i.e. siccing the demodogs on Bob) a lot more vile.

Finally, there's Dr. Brenner himself: If there was ever any doubt that he saw Henry and the other special kids like El as a means to an end, this play erases that. He is at his absolute worst here. Manipulative. Cruel. Determined to push Henry over the edge. Egging Henry into murdering a convicted prisoner, even though Henry fights back against doing that, all so Brenner can test him. Hurling verbal abuse at Henry, and then playing up the "Loving Papa" persona in the same way he would do with El years later. It really says something that he is the most loathsome character in the play, and that he doesn't see Henry as a person so much as a tool.

This was already a given on the show, but I still remember fans who kept making apologies for Brenner's behavior in S4 while insisting he really did care about Henry and the other kids in spite of his abuse of them. 🙄 I always maintained those were garbage apologies, and this play only reinforces that. Even though Henry is ultimately responsible for the choices he makes (regardless of the negative influences in his life), there is an argument to be had that Brenner bears responsibility for destroying whatever remaining goodness Henry had left in him until Henry became the cold, calculating monster with a plethora of rage and a deep hatred for humanity to accompany it.

Part 3: Revelations

For a while now, I've held theories that the powers El, Henry, and the other special kids have had were connected to the Upside Down. These theories were even talked about in my reviews for Stranger Things Six, Stranger Things The Other Side, and Stranger Things Suspicious Minds. I've also speculated on the idea that the Mind Flayer might be its own entity, and that Henry/One/Vecna didn't create it so much as gave it a form when he found those black particles in the Upside Down decades later.

This play confirms those theories: Not only is the Upside Down connected to their powers, but it's revealed in this play that the Mind Flayer acted as a malevolent corrupter to a young Henry, which would later lead to him becoming the monstrous Vecna.

At the beginning of the play, there's a flashback to 1943 where the U.S. military was experimenting with a new technology on the USS Eldridge to create a force field to hide the ship from the Germans during WWII. Interestingly, this bit was based on a real life experiment called "Project Rainbow," and the pamphlet I bought gives more details about it:

In the play, the technology caused the ship to end up in the Upside Down, where most of the crew was slaughtered by Demogorgons. The sole survivor turned out to be Dr. Brenner's father, who came back to the real world with altered blood in his system. He ends up dying, but passed on his secret to his son, kick-starting Brenner's scientific pursuits for the military. In other words: Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El banished Vecna to it in 1979.

Fast-forward a few years later. Henry is in Rachel, Nevada, playing in one of the caves with a spyglass when he encounters a rogue scientist who worked under Brenner in Nevada. Brenner had spent years attempting to replicate the experiment on the USS Eldridge in Nevada, and one of his scientists had stolen key technology and fled to the caves. When Henry discovers the technology, it transports both him and the scientist to the Upside Down. The scientist is killed, but Henry gets exposed to a malevolent entity (The Mind Flayer) before he is transported back to this world. Just like with Brenner's father, his blood is altered, and so is his personality. Brenner would later be able to track Henry down due to the spyglass he dropped in the caves after his exposure. In spite of escaping the Upside Down, Henry was now connected to the Mind Flayer, who spends the majority of the play acting as a malicious influence driving Henry to kill, and chipping away at his personality bit-by-bit:

It's not really a spoiler to say Henry is behind the pet killings in Hawkins (since he was shown killing animals on the show), but the difference here is the play makes it ambiguous how much control Henry has over his powers and actions. The Mind Flayer certainly uses Henry as a vessel, but there are moments Henry was shown to be capable of resisting it, indicating there was some manner of agency on Henry's part. In some moments, he chose to drive off the monster, whereas in others (like the deaths of Virginia and Alice Creel), he allowed the monster to work through him.

Like I said, these are theories I've held for a while now, so it felt gratifying to see them validated. While Vecna's monologue to El in 1979 implies that he was always a sociopath with powers who acted on his own accord with no outside influence, it's important to note that Vecna in that scene is an unreliable narrator twisting past events to paint himself a certain way to El. Part of it may be that he doesn't want to admit he was a victim of the Mind Flayer and that he made his own choices (Which is true: He DID have choices and the ability to reject the Mind Flayer, which we see in one scene when the Mind Flayer attacks Patty's father, and Henry intervenes on Patty's behalf to save him). Part of it may be that he's been under the hold of the Mind Flayer for so many years that, by the time El meets him, he's come to believe he and The Mind Flayer are one in the same.

Either way, regardless of what happened, there were a lot of elements stacked against Henry that makes me pity him: The Mind Flayer's influence, Brenner exploiting Henry's powers for his own selfish scientific desires instead of genuinely helping him, his parents trying to force Henry to be normal and shove down his issues instead of taking the time to deal with them..............the only positive thing Henry had going for him was his relationship with Patty. Her determination to see the good in Henry and his powers, and her belief that Henry could rise above the darkness gave some brief salvation for him. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save him, and the darkness won in the end.

There is a slight change I was okay with: In the show, Henry mentions that he fell into a coma after killing his mother and sister. While that is true to some extent, he actually wakes up a few hours later and flees the house to go find Patty at the school. He encounters Joyce in the basement (after the power gets knocked out) and, in a scene that's both creepy and sad, he acknowledges that Joyce is a good person and warns her that the world will punish her for it while taking away everything she holds dear. There's a dark irony to his words considering he would later be responsible for the disappearance of her son, the death of Bob, and most of the problems Joyce would later deal with on the show.

Following his encounter with Joyce, Henry finds Patty on an elevated stage platform, and begs her to run away with him. She is basically his last hope at this point, and even that is taken away when Brenner manages to track him and Patty down. There's a whole "Good Angel/Bad Devil" exchange that occurs as Patty (the Angel) implores Henry to fight against The Mind Flayer while Brenner (the Devil) snarls that Henry is already a monster and he might as well accept it. All of this cultivates in Henry using his powers on Patty, having finally surrendered to the Mind Flayer's influence, and throwing her from the rafters, almost killing her. Henry passes out after this, and Brenner takes him back to Hawkins Lab, where he will spend the next 20 years as Brenner's prisoner. Patty manages to survive the fall and, thanks to information Henry gave her earlier, she's able to locate her biological mother in Las Vegas and reunite with her. The last act of redemption Henry would ever have.

These revelations help give context to the mythology of the show. They explain what motivated Dr. Brenner for so many years. They explain the Mind Flayer was well aware of this world, and that Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El opened the gate in 1983. They explain Henry already had troubling aspects to begin with, and that his encounter with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer only amplified those problems. They explain how and why Henry became disillusioned, nihilistic, and angry over the next 2 decades, and how he would project that onto his enemies once he became Vecna. They explain why Henry/One/Vecna takes an interest in certain characters on the show, from El (whose upbringing and struggles are similar to what Henry went through as a child) to Will (who shares similar traits with him as an outcast and a nerd) to even Billy (with both of them projecting their rage onto the world), and went as far as to target them. And, most importantly, it explains how Henry and other special kids like Kali and El got their powers.

This does raise interesting questions that I hope S5 will explore more of:

Since Will was kidnapped and taken to the Upside Down in S1, does this mean his blood type has been altered as well due to his exposure to the Mind Flayer? Does he now possess some kind of power similar to El that we haven't seen yet but might be unveiled in the last season?

And what about the Upside Down freezing in time in 1983? Considering the Upside Down remained consistent as a hellish environment (even after El banished Vecna to it in 1979), this gives the impression that what happened there was an anomaly. I still maintain Will's disappearance had something to do with the altered environment, and I have provided theories for it in my review of Stranger Things The Other Side, but it's still a question that remains unanswered by this play.

And then there's Patty: She does survive, and last we see of Patty is her reuniting with her biological mom, but it's also mentioned she disappeared and that Bob (her adopted brother) misses her and plays songs over his radio podcast in her memory. Did Bob ever find Patty following this, or did he die before that could happen? Does she even remember Bob or Henry, or did the fall (which injured her badly enough that she now walks with a cane) cause her retrograde amnesia? Is it possible S5 might bring her back, and she could have some role in reaching out to Henry/One/Vecna? Is she still alive at this point?

So many questions that I'm hoping S5 provides answers for.

Part 4: Themes

It's no coincidence that the play Joyce produces for the school holds parallels to the tragedy of Henry and Patty's relationship. The Dark of the Moon is a ballad about a "witch boy" named John who falls in love with a human girl named Barbara Allen. He is given a human form on the condition that she remains true to him. Through a series of tragic events (including the death of their child at the hands of religiously-crazed townsfolk), Barbara ends up betraying John, causing him to lose his humanity and become a part of the fog from the place he came from.

If we're drawing direct parallels, it's pretty obvious Henry is John, the "witch boy" embedded with special powers who falls for the human girl, Barbara/Patty. The difference is that the "humanity" of Henry is more metaphorical than literal: He attempts to not give into the monstrous influence of the Mind Flayer, and Patty recognizes this and is determined to help him through the love she gives him. However, the key difference is Patty isn't the one who betrays Henry. If anything, she remains a loyal friend and confidant to Henry (even AFTER Brenner tells her that Henry killed his mother and sister) and desperately tries to convey to Henry that she believes in him and that he can fight off The Mind Flayer. Unfortunately, that proves insufficient, and it's Henry who inflicts the final betrayal on Patty, destroying their relationship, and causing Henry to become prisoner of Dr. Brenner at Hawkins Lab. He is the "witch boy" who returned to where he came from.

It should be noted that the ballad this play is based on contains these final lyrics:

They laid poor Barbra by the old church gate,

With the wild, wild rose growin' nigh her,

And witch boy roamed the mountain high,

'Til mountain fog became him.

And then one morn, before the dawn,

The fog rolled down that mountain,

It came to rest nigh Barbara's rose,

and watered there a briar.

The rose and briar climbed the old church gate,

'Til they could grow no higher,

And there they tied in a true love's knot,

The rose wrapped 'round the briar.

And so a witch and human gal,

Had conquered death eternal,

And 'neath the darkness of the moon,

Their love's entwined forever.

Could this be foreshadowing that, as evil as Henry/One/Vecna has become, there is still a chance at redemption for him through Patty? That whatever love he held for her could bring back Henry's humanity and allow him to overcome the Mind Flayer one last time? They did a similar thing with Billy Hargrove in S3 (with the platonic love he had for his mother), and since love is one of the key forces that's been shown to repel the Mind Flayer, it could work again in Henry's favor if he chooses to take it.

However, a lot of this is tied to whether Henry is capable of remorse or empathy at this point, and considering what we've seen on the show, it's a safe bet to say whatever humanity he had left in him is now gone. I'm doubtful that even if Patty shows up in S5, it'll be enough to redeem Henry. There are some things you can't come back from, and regardless of the negative influences he was dealing with, Henry still had choices, and he chose to hurt others.

In a way, Henry's story reminds me of Coriolanus Snow's arc in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Despite the relationship he has with Lucy Gray Baird, it wasn't enough to cancel out his negative personality traits (narcissism, entitlement, etc) and whatever love he may have had for her isn't enough to redeem him, or prevent him from becoming the tyrant we all know and loathe by the events of The Hunger Games.

Another theme present was the exploration of the adult characters and how the personality traits they had as teens continue well into adulthood. It's been speculated before by various groups of people that, internally, there's a certain point where you stop growing mentally and remain the same age, and that definitely seems to be the case here with some characters. The problem is that while these qualities might have been excusable when they were teenagers, they become less appealing as time goes on:

Ted Wheeler, for example, is depicted in the play as a dumb jock who's clueless most of the time. Fast-forward to the 80s, and he's now an apathetic father who still remains clueless. Not only is this not cute anymore, it's frustrating to his wife and those around him.

Karen Wheeler is depicted in her teens as interested in her youth and beauty and dating Ted BECAUSE he's a hot jock. By the time she's an adult, she's still into that (though she does make more of an effort to be emotionally available to her kids unlike Ted) and her desire for youth and a passionate relationship almost leads her to sleeping with Billy despite the inappropriate age difference between the two. 🤮

Jim Hopper is a younger man with a fractured relationship with his abusive father, and a lot of his motivation is rooted in trying to stick it to his dad and prove that he isn't the loser his father thinks he is. It's why he takes an interest in the animal killings around Hawkins and conducts an investigation similar to how police would do it. It's also why he joins the Vietnam War later (as he would later tell Enzo/Dmitri in S4). Even later becoming the Chief of Police on the show likely has its roots in this. Years later, long after his dad is likely dead, he's still trying to prove him wrong.

Lonnie Byers is depicted as a douchebag, even as a teen, who isn't really interested in making something of his life, who's coasting off other people, and really doesn't have any desire to improve himself. Come Season 1, and is it any surprised he's a deadbeat dad who's divorced from Joyce and still making shitty decisions down the line?

Same goes for Al Munson: The play depicts him as an improv actor who's deeply self-centered, who isn't as good as he thinks he is, and is someone who just annoys everyone around him with his antics. Anyone who's read Flight of Icarus knows he doesn't get any better as an adult, and it has completely wrecked his relationship with his brother Wayne and his son Eddie.

And then there's Dustin's father: "Asshole" is the best term I can use to describe him. He's very belittling and not well-liked (even among his peers), and it doesn't surprise me that Mrs. Henderson (who's also shown to be a cat-lover as a teenager) would eventually split with him and raised Dustin on her own.

There are a few positives though: Both Charles and Sue Sinclair come out of the play as decent people, and Sue is shown to be a loyal friend to Joyce, helping Joyce to get her play organized. I can see why they ended up together, and I maintain both Lucas and Erica are lucky to have them as parents.

The overall point is, like with Henry (who also never really grew up, and is now an angry kid trapped in the body of a 30-something adult), there is a theme that change is a process you have to work on. All of these characters (including Henry) have their own flaws they have to work through, and it is a choice about whether you put in the hard work of overcoming those flaws, or you surrender to them and let them dictate your life and stilt your growth. It's always an uphill battle, and it's never easy, but when the alternative is hurting the people around you, I would argue it's worth the effort for their sake.

Final Thoughts:

While there is some leeway between how events in the play can be interpreted, there is one tiny retcon that was hard to ignore: Henry's age. In the show, it's specifically mentioned in the newspaper article that Nancy and Robin look up that Henry was 12 when Virginia and Alice Creel were killed. However, this play retcons his age to being 14 years old. My guess is this was likely done so that Henry would be a freshman, and therefore able to attend Hawkins High School with Joyce, Hopper, Bob, and the other characters. While I don't mind this retcon for story purposes, it still sticks out like a sore thumb, and I wish the Duffer Brothers would take better care with details like that, especially after what happened in S4 with Will's birthday being forgotten.

There is a pamphlet for 10€ that they sell at the Phoenix Theater that gives more information about the play, its cast, and the central ideas behind the story. You can even see it in the picture above with the other memorabilia I collected (next to the t-shirts I bought). If you're going to see the play, I highly recommend purchasing it. It's worth the money.

Overall, this was a well-written play that I'm willing to accept as canon. I hope the events in this play are referenced in S5, and have a role in how the show's story unfolds. I highly recommend getting a ticket for anyone who is a Stranger Things fan! :)

[lvpislvzuli]

No spoilers review for KotPotA

I saw Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes last night and it was WONDERFUL!

Opening scene made me cry 😭 APES TOGETHER STRONG!!!

Noa is the sweetest ape with great potential to become a leader like Caesar. His journey was exciting and emotional. He really leveled up in the third act showdown. Owen Teague is perfect casting—incredible performance, great physicality and voice. I saw and felt his every emotion. He was surprisingly funny too, especially in his scenes with Raka and Mae. Loved his subtle attitude. LOVED that he had beef with a bird.

Anaya and Soona are good friends for Noa and I appreciated some focus on a female ape who actually speaks. Anaya is loveable comedic relief and Soona is a badass. Also, her character design is so pretty.

Koro and Dar were kind and loving parents. It’s unusual for main characters to even have parents in these epic stories, so I appreciated their inclusion, as short as their scenes were. Wished we learned more about Koro. The Master of Birds was an intriguing character.

Raka was such a nice surprise. Good in the trailers but an Instant Icon in the film. Very loveable. Another great mentor character. Up there with Yoda in my opinion—just as funny too. Soooo funny. Peter Macon owned this role.

Proximus Caesar was deliciously maniacal. Stellar acting from Kevin Durand. Chilling voice work. Great character design and movement. Proximus is a natural performer—he knows how to play for a crowd. I was just as hyped as his followers. Semi-spoiler: The way he responded to the gun was hilarious.

Mae has so many secrets. I heard some of them were spoiled in the ad campaign but luckily I went in blind. She and Noa are perfect co-leads and do a great job portraying another tense ape/human relationship. Very nuanced performances in their shared scenes. You want them to trust each other.

But can they trust each other moving forward?Hopefully. Mae made some controversial decisions that affected both humans and apes, but I feel that Freya Allan was able to walk that fine line. I loved her final scene with Noa and the gift he gave her.

Overall, this is Wes Ball’s best film so far. Great directing. He really knows how to shoot an action scene. The choreography was 🔥. I never got tired of watching the apes climbing around.

The world building was thorough and I loved the visual aesthetics of the film. They felt very 1968 Planet of the Apes.

As expected, the visual effects were out of this world. Seriously, how does Weta do it? The apes look more real than real apes.

Great score by John Paesano. Nods to Michael Giacchino and Jerry Goldsmith. Also adored the inclusion of apes singing.

The ending sets up some interesting ideas for a next installment—which I really want to see. I liked the parallel of Noa and Mae both looking up at the sky. It made them feel connected despite their physical and (somewhat) emotional distance, and it solidified their status as our two lead characters.

So yes, I loved this movie. 10/10.

Let me know what you thought!

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

Saw DND:Honor among thieves and I have THOUGHTSSSSS

Disclaimer: I am a dnd nerd but not intensely so. So compared to other more serious dnd people I probably care less about ‘game accuracy’ or whatever. Also, if your gonna reblog with “weren’t we boycotting” or smth, just leave bestie also SPOLIERS duh

ANYWAY- my main critique is the pacing. Overall, the fast paced nature helped keep the vibe flowing without getting caught but their were a couple times where I kinda got overwhelmed with how often we were switching scenes. That and I agree with the critiques of the tiefling design being rather boring, especially when you factor in her whole “I hate humans” thing since she looks almost exactly like them.

…and that’s it….no really! I found myself enjoying this film FAAARRRR more than I thought I would. At the end, I think why I loved it much more than similar movies is that it nailed the humor and comedic timing. It has its serious moments and it does them well, but overall it’s a really fucking funny movie where one of the main villains is defeated with a potato to the face. There are several stellar jokes, like-

The fat dragon

Everything Xenk says

The death of the red wizard lady lol

“What’s wrong with my lips!?”

The dwarven bridge

The fake window at the end

And of course NAT 20 potato!

I was laughing a lot throughout the movie, definitely it’s best aspect in my opinion. But I also loved the relationship between Edgin (the bard) and Hulga (the barbarian). I LOVE that they have raised this child platonically and have no desire to change that. There’s no secret crush or anything, they’re both interested in the opposite sex, just not each other. Simon is stellar, his arc is very sweet and simple and I love how his magic is shown. I like how he knows what he can or cannot do, the range of his spells and stuff like that. He doesn’t just wave his hands and magic just happens, it’s an actual skill. Of course the Druid solos, the use of the wild shape is so creative and very fun. And xenk (the paladin) is so deadpan and serious, I love him. All these characters are very silly and fun and fit very well into the goofy writing. I will say, the red wizards are not very fleshed out, but for most of the movie they aren’t really the main villain so it’s whatever to me.

The effects were really dope! They were several times where I think the practical effects really made the creatures that much more real. Defiantly a great case study for why it’s a great idea to ditch CGI (at least partially) and go practical.

Lastly, the serious scenes are really nice here, I’ll discuss two.

1st, the scene where they almost break up. Every good campaign needs to almost break up but I really like this scene. Yes, Edgin has lied by omission but only because he truly believes that Simon can do it. I like how he brings them back together, he doesn’t exclude himself from being a fuckup as well. But you have to keep trekking until youre happy, becuase if you don’t, your past trauma has won. Its very sweet how they all sit together. But what I love most is that they pivot their plan, Edgin still believes in Simon but realizes that not every insecurity can be over come by encouragement. So they come up with a plan that feels more comfortable, but just as crazy.

And 2nd, of course the death scene at the end. Yes it was predictable,but hulga dying and coming back is not what makes this scene, it’s Edgin putting his daughter first. Obviously I think she would want to meet her birth mother, but at the same time it’s a women she’s never known. Edgin realizes that he’s the only person here who would rather bring back his wife than Hulga. He comes to terms with the fact the Hulga is just as much his child’s parent as him or his wife, she means just as much to her. So, finally, he puts his daughters feelings first and resurrects the closest thing to a mother she’s ever had. It’s heartbreaking, but the action of a true parent.

OVERALL, I really loved this movie, again a lot more than I thought I would. Its funny, witty, fast paced fantasy fun. If you don’t want to give money to WOTC or Hasbro, watch it after it gets released online. But I definitely recommend it!

[crystalelemental]

Sync Pair Retrospective - New Years 2023

Last year, the New Years alts were leaked somehow, and I was personally really excited by the decisions made. It feels like New Years always lands on at least one really good inclusion. That year, it was two. But, now that it's been a year, how are they doing overall?

New Years Lisia Lisia is a candidate for the most unfortunate character in this game. Her base form sucks so badly that she's the only pair who is made weaker by the presence of zone. Her New Years alt aimed to fix this, making her an excellent damage dealer for Fairy type, and a rare physical one to boot! Giga Impact Fairy Shift is the Hyper Beam equivalent, and those are always in style. So great, she's gonna be amazing, right?

Well she should be, but no Zone support. Wally wasn't a good match. That's fine, we'll wait for the next. Oh, SS Hau has it, but is entirely specially inclined? Well okay, eventually they'll...oh, we're getting a third already, and SS Mina is also specially inclined? Well hey, that's fine, field effects are old hat anyway, now we're all about rebuffs which...also went to a specially focused support. At least eggmon Sylveon is there?

Lisia cannot catch a break. Every other Fairy type around her has received buff after buff after buff, and Lisia has stagnated completely in time. Her situation is downright depressing. To make her life worse, her designation as one of the only Physical Fairy type options was severely challenged by the inclusion of an F2P pair, BP Valerie, who can actually sync nuke comparably while on-type. So unlike, say, Raihan, who has merit due to Steel-weak Glacia, Lisia is not in a comparable boat.

Lisia's life sucks. She's maintaining as a good overall pair because high BP moves like this will literally always be in style. But it's hard to consider her exceptional, so much as flatly alright. At the very least, few pairs are as difficult to work with, given the unreasonable amount of Fairy support that all skewed special. I hate it.

New Years Dawn Dawn, on the other hand, is hilarious. Initially, everyone dunked on her because the kit seemed bad, but then we got to learn about what Extra Special Ghost Damage does, and that tune changed quick. Dawn has good damage potential, and a stellar sync, backed by some nice tanking potential. Evade tanking is risky, but her rapid debuffing of Atk and ability to hit other stats is divine. Her doubling of stat boosts is an ongoing blessing, as supports with a +4/+2 focus like Penny actually work for her, and Spectrier's TM becomes wildly powerful.

Dawn's trouble is that, despite her abilities, she remains heavily reliant on support. She can't get away with cheaper options, she needs heavy support. Her debuffs are also random, which limits her overall effectiveness with others despite how useful many of her traits are. Evade tanking is inconsistent, as is her MPR on trainer move, and her confuse status.

It's weird, because I do really like this pair, but I honestly never use her. I feel like something just always holds her back. I could not tell you what. Maybe it's a gauge thing? Maybe I just need to use her offensively more often. Whatever the case, Dawn's kit has merit that I just don't see a ton of use for.

Final Thoughts Like many New Years pairs, I think Lisia and Dawn are middling. They're not strictly bad, in the same way that NY Lance still has really good Flying damage if supported, or NY Sabrina can still Endure tank. But New Years never really excels, and that trend seems to be continuing. Oh well. At least the alts look good.

[veiledfox]

} Stellar Blade was a beautiful game with fantastic character/enemy designs, some of the best combat I've experienced in a long while (almost as good as FFXVI), utterly amazing music throughout the entire experience, and some great set pieces and gameplay moments.

It's story, while not the most original in it's base elements, had a lot of really good touches to it and interesting ways of handling things that had already been done elsewhere to make them new, refreshing, and unique. It's side-content sub-plots are all pretty great too, from the story of Enya the singing woman in the bar, to that of Kaya and her sister, and of course Lily Artemis the Second and her time on Earth.

The way they handled the main antagonist in the game was actually fantastic as well, and I will absolutely NOT spoil that one bit.

Upgrades and buffs from gear all felt extremely impactful on gameplay, and it actually felt like I was getting stronger alongside just generally getting smarter and better personally. The evolution of combat from it's most base form to that of it's peak was also pretty fantastic, and by the end some satisfying stuff can be pulled off. There really was only the one fight in the first playthrough that I felt was actually any bit annoying or unfair, while everything else was actually extremely solid.

It's minigames, for the most part, were fine as well. Only two are really any annoying, and one is kinda luck based while the other is just actually a little difficult to process and both have timers to them. They were all decently spread out too, and didn't feel intrusive at all.

The amount of customization for EVE, while nothing too extreme, was also a pleasant surprise just how much you could actually do, and a good number of outfits were awesome.

Also, playing NG+ after beating the game, it's kinda nice being able to pick out little things here and there that make way more sense with knowledge of the full story available. And while I enjoyed the game as a whole, the last zone and the end kinda has my personal bias for faves between the location choices, the location designs that were included in the later parts, and the enemy effects. They went a sort-of Evangelion Angels route with some visuals and I LOVED it.

All in all, I would absolutely reccommend playing it. Shift UP did a fantastic job and I look forward to any expansion that may come in the future if any.

[kitkatopinions]

Thoughts on Arcane?

NOTE: I know nothing about League of Legends, I came into Arcane with no knowledge of anything to do with League, so everyone, please try to refrain from possible future spoilers by discussing major plot in the OG product. My brother-in-law already dropped some very big info and similar to going into the Final Fantasy remakes, I'm trying to avoid any other spoilers for something that's been around for ages. Thanks!

First thought, the animation is very good and very iconic.

Sometimes the faces seem a little off, but the whole effect looks almost like paint, and overall, it is very good. This is such a well made and just beautiful show in terms of the art, animation, and aesthetic.

The combat is a step above most things I've seen, but not as good as the early RWBY seasons by a long shot. On top of that, some of the weapons looks... Over the top, particularly the gauntlets the Vi eventually wears.

They're just a bit too big imo, it makes scenes go from cool to goofy really quickly. Still, the fights are worth watching and by no means are they bad!

Most of this show was directed very well, but they would do these strange jerky cuts that often didn't work for me. There also was this weird scene where two characters were about to fight, and then it suddenly changed into those characters doing the fight in slo-mo while the show switched to like, a completely different design, and then they just... Did the battle like normal all over again at normal speed. I can't blame them for experimenting with styles and stuff, but it just really took me out of the moment.

Some of it felt a little rushed and hurried in act two especially, where it's like they were trying hard to establish character dynamics early on to get to the juicy stuff later. I don't mind it so much especially since it's just the first season, and as a general rule, I try to give grace during a first season. But I'm really hoping we get to see more from many of these character interactions that feels a bit more fleshed out next season.

On that note, there were some writing choices I thought were strange. Characters that I kept waiting to have at least something of a good storyline that haven't gotten one, story elements that had suddenly come out of nowhere and didn't add much at all so far, moments that I feel didn't make much sense or things they had characters do that I thought either should've been gone into more detail around or should've been different. During the last three of four episodes especially, my sister and I were watching it and going "if they just tweaked this, this scene would be so much better," and "if this had been set up like this, this would've been such a compelling moment!" I feel like the show could be better than it is. The writing isn't life changing, it could be stronger and fuller, but it's still for the most part good, especially when you compare it to a certain color themed webcartoon.

But as for some praise, most of the characters are nuanced and interesting, the concepts are amazing and could lead somewhere great, the design is off the charts, the voice acting is pretty dang good, the dialogue is nice and even if the pacing is a little rushed, the way everything was delivered including stellar VA performances and animation makes everything feel more genuine and believable. Also I don't know how to describe 'this piece of media feels like it would be great for transformative works, even more so than most pieces of media,' but Arcane has those vibes. The more simple looks the characters sported in the first couple episodes were okay, but the character design in the post-time skip looks were really good. In fact, the show generally did a very good job at the time-skip. I was seriously thrown off and worried when I realized one was coming so early, but they did it well and the results were cool. Also, the battles are never easily won, our mains always seem to take hits, both emotionally and physically, and that's good. Also, they know how to get tension into a scene in this show, they're really good at using their music, too. The show is exciting, it throws curveballs at you in a way that (most of the time so far,) doesn't feel cheap or badly set up. Best of all, they're really good at making you care about the characters and what happens to them. I've mentioned before that I tend to consume media primarily for character arcs and character interactions, and I think this show has the potential to serve up some amazing ones. One of my favorite characters in the series - who I won't name atm because of possible spoilers - is so cool, and I just want the best for them because they deserve it.

I think the show maybe could've benefitted from taking a bit more time, but hey. they wanted to set the groundwork early, and I can't blame them.

There are some red flags. There were some things that made me feel uncomfortable at the very least. SPOILERS INCOMING: SKIP THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS.

For example, the main villain in the first season is someone who revolutionaried too hard and was actually super detrimental to the people he was supposedly advocating for to the point where the lead yells at the people oppressing her and her people to go wage war on her people in order to take him out - which I feel like something like this could've been done, but the way they did it was clunky and sent some weird messages imo. And for another example, in the last three episodes, they kill off two different dark skinned women (or at least, I think, the second death hasn't been exactly confirmed, but I'm pretty sure it happened.) And one of those women hadn't been given much outside of a flimsy connection to one of the main male characters, who was Very Sad about her death. In another scene, our main protagonist tore a prosthetic off of someone's body in a fight, etc... On top of that, I'm always annoyed when there's some piece of media that establishes a clear system of oppression - in this case the privileged Piltover versus the poor Undercity / Zaun, including a thick layer of obvious classism - and then instead of the main villains being say the people who helped build that system or the people who have worked to maintain that system in clearly corrupt and selfish ways, they say "Hmm, who will our villains be? The people who grew bitter after being oppressed for so long? The children who were traumatized and also suffered from this oppression?" Idk, it's all red flags. I'm really hoping that the show gets better after season one, but I can't pretend that some elements of the show so far didn't make me at least a little uncomfortable. There were ways that the writers could've gotten the desired effect without doing anything problematic. There are ways Vi could've won her fight with Sevika without ripping off her prosthetic, there are ways they could've portrayed Viktor's experiment going wrong without murdering Sky. Also, I'm already side eyeing some of the fandom for hating on one of the women of color essentially for getting in the way of a ship they - and I - like. I love Mel Medera and nobody has to put her down in order to stan Jayce and/or Viktor.

Aaaand on the subject of Jayce and Viktor, for my final thought, I wanna say that Jayce and Viktor is an amazing ship that I adore, and I love them so much. They had such a well done, natural dynamic. There's tension, but they obviously care about each other so much, and this ship has all the makings of a great 'mutual pining / they both think it's unrequited' dynamic and would make for an amazing slow burn. I'm going to ignore that the writers made Jayce say that Viktor is like his brother. Omg the looks, the energy, the way that Viktor smiles at him, the way that Jayce seems touchy feely with him, the deep connection and friendship, the great back and forth... I love this ship.

[imthepointe]

We’re Not Really Strangers

Jay’s not really sure why Cole has always been so touchy with him, but he decides to welcome the physical contact- to an extent. And so he resigns himself to a great and terrible boundary of friendly intimacy with his best friend; more than strangers but never more than friends, perhaps destined for something greater.

In which Jay is one-hundred percent, entirely straight.

a/n: 4302 words, tw for internalized homophobia

When Jay first met Cole, he first noticed his arms. His really nice, lean, smooth arms. They were unusually buff for a thirteen-year-old, and reflected years of mountain climbing and muscle building. The very next thing he thought was what? because that was a weird thing to notice in a guy.

In his reckless adolescence, the little lightning ninja chalked this first and silent observation up to the fact that pre-teens shouldn’t be so buff and that it was only natural for him to notice Cole’s inherent, smoulder-y attractiveness.

Because Jay liked girls. He liked their skin, their long hair, and…

It doesn’t matter. Jay liked girls, exclusively.

Five years later Jay can’t imagine a life without Cole. He’s his partner in fighting, combat, and training, but also in just day-to-day life. Their conversations range from fighting about which flavor of ramen is best to more serious topics such as relationships...with family.

Jay remembered when Cole had first opened up to him about losing his mother and his rocky relationship with his father. He had looked down, until finally, Jay scooted just a little bit closer to him. His side pressed into Cole’s, and the earth ninja crumbled, allowing himself to be emotional and sincere. And when it was all over, Cole put his hands on Jay’s and thanked him; Jay ignored the warmth in his chest, attributing it to the vulnerability of the conversation and the delicacy of the talk.

But Cole’s physical presence persisted. It started during gaming nights, when the two were so close they were practically on top of one another, their thighs touching and oh god Cole’s bicep flexing against Jay’s arm as he gripped the game controller tighter.

Jay decided he didn’t mind the contact and allowed Cole to continue being close.

During training, Cole would not miss any opportunity to help Jay stand from the ground, extending hand to help him up and gently pulling the blue ninja to his feet. During physical combat training, Cole would win- and rather it was because Jay liked when Cole would swiftly pin him down to the ground or simply because the earth ninja was a better fighter than he, Jay wasn’t sure.

As they were sitting for dinner, Cole’s hand would brush against Jay’s. It was fleeting and probably an accident.

This was the problem: Jay found himself thinking about Cole’s muscles much more than he thought about kissing nameless girls. But he maintained that it was only because Cole was his best friend and naturally a pretty handsy guy- not to mention he does have stellar muscles, anyway, so it was only natural that they were noticeable to Jay.

But this resolve crumbled one hot summer day during training. They were both seventeen.

“You all have such cool places to keep your weapons,” Jay complained. Kai, Zane, Cole, Jay, and Lloyd were all out in the monastery’s courtyard, taking a small break from the morning’s rigorous training.

“Do we?” Zane asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Jay said, dragging the “s” sound. “I just have to carry my nunchucks.”

Kai suggested he get a belt that would hold them, and Jay liked that idea, until the belt finally came.

Kai had made it for him. Jay was grateful- he really was- but this was by god the ugliest thing he had ever laid eyes on. Not to mention it weighed about as much as he did, and it hardly even was able to hold his nunchucks.

But as to not disappoint the fire ninja, he tried to put it on. Tried. Unfortunately- or perhaps fortunately, Jay’s not sure- Kai was also not an expert in design and practical effectiveness.

“Kai, this buckles in the back,” Jay said. “I can’t get it on.” Internally, Jay breathed a sigh of relief. At least he for sure didn’t have to put the belt on now.

But when Cole offered to help him put the belt on, he quickly accepted.

So Cole took the belt and knelt down beside the blue ninja, buckling the buckle (in the back!) with gentleness and care. All throughout practice, Jay found himself annoyed by the cumbersome feeling of the belt, even if he did have a place to store his nunchucks. But, the next day, when Cole offered to help him put the belt on again, Jay said yes before his mind could catch up.

Jay was uncomfortably comfortable with it all. When he should be trying to focus on training, all he can think about was Cole’s warm and calloused hands gently touching his hips, steadying them to buckle his stupid little nunchuck belt.

The third night after the belt incident, the lightning ninja was in his room, mentally reprimanding himself for stewing over Cole’s likely innocent acts of kindness- not because he wasn’t grateful for Cole’s help and generosity, he really was, but because he should be used to Cole’s touchiness by now.

And that was that. Cole has always been a little bit more physical in his...affections, and had no issue giving gentle touches and reassuring looks to anyone. That was right, Jay supposed. It didn’t matter because the entire situation was just Cole being the nice guy that he was. If it had been Zane with a belt fiasco, the earth ninja wouldn’t have hesitated to help him clasp the buckle either. Jay wasn’t even sure why he was so worked up about the whole thing anyways.

He dismissed the thought. Plus, no matter how physical Cole was, it didn’t matter, because Jay liked girls anyways. He really liked Nya, who, despite being the only girl he had ever had some sort of connection with beside his mother, seemed to like him too.

So he drifted off to sleep, dreaming about kissing her... but everytime he closed his eyes and conjured up this mental picture, she didn’t have a face.

---

A week later, after dinner, Jay and Cole were alone playing some game when the black ninja set his controller down and assumed an aura of stoic-ness about him.

“What’s up?” Jay asked.

“I’m bisexual,” Cole responded.

Jay’s mouth hung wide for a moment, before he mustered a smile and a “cool!” and cracking some stupid joke like leave it to you to overachieve. But he had also noticed the strength and vulnerability of Cole’s tone. When he came out then, he might have been scared, but he wasn’t afraid. Jay even remembered finding it admirable how relaxed Cole remained.

And then the moment was over, ending with Cole muttering “just wanted to let you know.” Jay didn’t mind, and they resumed gaming.

Minutes later, the door opened to reveal Kai, Lloyd, Zane, and Nya.

“C’mon, lovebirds, Wu wants us to try out some new training technique. He said-”

“Lovebirds? That’s a new one, Kai,” Cole interrupted, a light and playful smile on his face. He seemed to be handling Kai’s words with considerably more lightheartedness, either not putting more than two cents to Kai’s words or just not caring regardless.  

But Jay cared, a lot. He jumped from the couch and met Kai’s eyes.

“And at least I’m straight!” Jay shouted in a valiant display of defense, perhaps more as a reminder to himself than the others. He felt his cheeks burn and his stomach twist; he regretted saying that almost immediately.

(Jay would spend the next week regretting his reaction, loathing himself for his intonation and word choice. Soon, though, the regret turned into a serious analysis of why he cared so much about Kai’s tease, but this rhetorical question stumped even Jay’s genius. Because- in that moment- Jay wanted whatever it was Kai thought he and Cole were.

The lightning ninja came to the conclusion that he and Cole were naturally going to be drawn to spend time together, because obviously. They were best friends, and Jay couldn’t imagine not spending time alone with the earth ninja. It’s what kept their friendship so strong.)

“Okay, uh,” Kai stammered, glancing to the side, as if he were trying to avoid something. “It was a joke. I was kidding.”

Nya scoffed. “Let’s just go,” she said, turning to leave. Lloyd and Zane followed her path in suit, presumably towards the monastery’s courtyard to do whatever it was Wu wanted them to do. Then Kai inhaled quickly and turned, and Jay made a move to follow, but something stopped him.

He spared a final glance back at Cole, who he expected to still have a kind expression. Instead, he was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, and cheeks twinged ever so slightly pink.

Jay shook his head and left him alone.

They didn’t practice together that night; Jay practiced with Nya and left Cole alone with Lloyd. Afterwards, everyone had gone inside to shower and head to bed, save for he and Nya.

“Hey,” she called. “Thank you for practicing with me tonight.” Jay’s shoulders stiffened.

Surely it was at least 11 at night by now, completely dark outside. He could hardly see Nya standing directly in front of him.

“You’re welcome. I…” he trailed off, trying to think of something he should say. “I really wanted to. And you’re a good partner.”

“Yeah?”

Jay smiled. “Yeah.”

Then their hands brushed. It was silent for a moment, the only sound the small, labored breaths coming from the two ninjas. They were close, and Jay was elated. This was exactly how it was supposed to happen. This is always how it happened in the books he read or the shows he watched.

Then Nya smiled, and Jay smiled, and then he kissed her.

He supposed it was nice. Even though he couldn’t really see her, he liked kissing Nya. He had thought about it for quite some time. They pulled apart, and Jay looked at her once more, as if he had just seen her in this light for the very first time.

“Thanks again, Jay,” she whispered. The water ninja turned to head inside, but he stopped her, catching her hand.

“Nya,” he said, and it sounded more like a question than a statement. “I like you. I really like you.”

“But you wish I was Cole?”

Jay felt his heart drop and face flush, before he was spitting defenses left and right. That was not what he was expecting after he kissed the girl of his dreams.

Nya didn’t know what he felt. How could she? But as Jay almost expected himself to be angry with her, he wasn’t. His heart began to rapidly beat, and suddenly he wanted to leave this conversation so badly he probably would have faced a djinn again if it meant he could wish this all away.  

“Don’t play dumb, Jay,” she laughed. Her smile was kind. “You two hold hands all the time. I’ve seen the way you look at him. You just think you like me.” She took his hand, despite the fact that it was shaky and sweaty from anxiety.

“Listen to me, Jay. Take a deep breath.”

The lightning ninja almost protested, but remained silent, deciding anything he said might just dig himself deeper. “I think you’re great,” Nya began. “But…” she looked off in the distance, probably at the mountains far away. “Trust me. Think about it, and you can talk to me later if you want. Truth is, Jay, I love you, and care for you. And I’m observant.” She let go of his hand, gave his shoulder a squeeze, and went inside the monastery, leaving him alone.

He had one single, fleeting, yet distinct thought as he watched her turn away: Nya’s never been wrong before.

---

Somewhere between denial and anger and bargaining and depression there was Jay. Cole- or, at least, the thought of him- started to keep him up at night, in a real bad way, because every time he closed his eyes he saw him. It was like a rhythm known only to him, the way Jay would push the earth ninja as far away as possible from him during the day but at night wish he was closer than ever.

He was repelling Cole, ever since that night, that terrible, terrible night, when Cole trusted him and when Nya stepped out of her place. He didn’t want to, though. Still, Jay took no initiative to restore their intimacy they once had, even though his heart ached for it.

Of course, though, nothing gold can stay; as the weekly movie night rolled around, he found himself sitting next to the black ninja on the couch, maybe just a little too close for comfort.

But the chosen movie is boring. He was looking at the screen, yes, but his mind was somewhere else- maybe on Cole, whose head was nearly resting on his shoulder, asleep soundly and taking in small, shallow breaths; maybe it was on Nya, who was watching the movie, seemingly very interested in whatever the plot was but probably not really; or Kai, Lloyd, Zane, and Pixal, the latter of which were holding hands and smiling, and Kai and Lloyd fixated on the movie.

See, that was the thing about relationships Jay never really understood. How did Zane know he liked Pixal? Zane was a robot. How did he ever fall for her? Was it human nature, or lack thereof? Or something more innate?

“I believe the term for it is ‘pansexuality,’’' Zane had once said, a couple months ago. “I love Pixal because of who they are. I do not think it is in my coding to see...” he paused, thinking. “...gender. I simply love her regardless, and they love me. I firmly believe that’s what matters most.”

Jay had liked that. Maybe he could be comfortable with that, but his eyes drooped from fatigue before he could stew over it any more.

When he finally awoke, he and Cole had shifted considerably. Everyone else was gone- the movie probably long over- but Cole was nearly on top of him, curled into his side, his face relaxed and soft from sleep. His hair is brushed over onto his face in soft waves, his eyelashes fluttering, mouth slightly open.

Surely Jay must be half-asleep, because he feels the urge to continue dozing like that, his arms wrapped around Cole and at ease in his comfortable presence. But there’s something else, too: a warning. His mind was screaming at him, telling him that this was too close, that friends don’t touch like this. Sure, he and Cole had always displayed their friendship in more physically intimate ways, but this was too far…

He pried himself out of Cole’s arms, stumbling off the couch.

“Jay…?”

Cole had sat up from his position, eyes weary and dreamy. Jay just smiled, ignoring the flushing panic and embarrassment- oh, god- burning bright. “It’s late,” he said. “Go to your room and sleep.”

He did. And Jay somehow managed to make it back to his room, too, despite nearly falling over into Cole’s arms multiple times from the sheer self-humiliation of it all.

---

It went like this: Jay spent half of the next day lying to himself, that no, he did not want to be in a relationship with his best friend who happens to be a guy, and then the later half realizing that he had been lying to himself for much, much longer than a day.

He and Cole weren’t just friends. They weren’t acquaintances, but for some reason, it felt like they were strangers all over again. If they were taken back to the very first day they met- brand new faces, a fresh start- would things have gone differently now that Jay...knew?

He didn’t want to really be lovesick strangers. He wanted something forever. The most terrifying part- besides maybe Nya being right- was that his entire being was yearning for a relationship with Cole.

His mind was racing all through dinner that night, meaning he had nothing to say. It had been an easy day, no missions, just lazing around, and Jay hated it, because he needed something to preoccupy himself with. Nya spared him a few loving glances with a glint of mischievousness in her eye, but otherwise, no one seemed to notice his unusual silence.

After dinner, Jay busied himself; he didn’t think a single thing when he saw Nya tell Cole something, and then when Cole precariously disappeared out of the monastery, and after dinner was over, he volunteered to clean the kitchen. Zane had thanked him, and Jay was alone to wipe down the counters and do the dishes.

Methodical and logical- cleaning was a matter of the brain, not the heart, and thank the FSM for it. The blue ninja’s heart was growing tired. He cleaned until the kitchen was spotless, then retreated to his bedroom.

It was too cramped. Everywhere reminded him of Cole, of Nya; the picture on his nightstand, the one on his desk, where he could see his hand wrapped loosely around Cole’s pinky finger. He needed out, and he needed out fast, and he just needed a place to collect his thoughts and get some fresh air.

It was at least midnight by now, but Nya was in the living room, so he told her where he was going to make sure no one worried (a habit formed due to the unnaturally large number of times one of them has been kidnapped, or worse.)

“I’m going for a walk,” he mentioned in passing.

“Really?” she didn’t sound surprised. “It’s late.”

Jay fidgeted. “Yeah, I’m sure. Plus it’s a nice night out. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

He walked out of the monastery and into the courtyard, relishing in the initial breeze that hit him. He would walk down the mountain and back up and be fine.

But a walk turned into a jog, and soon into a sprint. He wondered briefly why he thought he could run away from this realization, leaving it all behind in his bedroom at the monastery. And at least, for a few moments, it succeeded; the burning sensation in his chest and side stitches gnawing at his muscles made him completely forget about the whole situation. But soon, he asked himself why he was running down the monastery’s mountain, and the whole thing came back to Jay, and he audibly groaned.

He wished things could return to normal. He wished he could be normal. But for now, he was only concerned about placing one leg in front of the other as fast as he could despite the strong protest of his lungs.

He quickly tired out, doubling over to place his hands on his knees as soon as he reached the bottom of the mountain. The warm midsummer night breeze offered little reprieve from neither his anxiety nor his feelings for Cole.

“Jay?”

Speak of the devil.

It must have been an odd sight, Jay thought, to see him there, just after 12 at night, heaving and sweating to no end.

Jay sucked in a breath. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here…” Cole trailed off, before glaring at Jay. “What are you doing here?”

Jay couldn’t meet his eyes. His heart was beating out of his chest, and no, it wasn’t from his impromptu run down a mountain. The FSM must have been playing some sick joke on him, because not only was he facing a life-altering realization tonight, now he had to face said person who had been the catalyst for this life-altering realization.

What the fuck.

Cole’s face shifted from that of possibly some unreadable shock to concern. “I was watching the stars, but I take it that was not what you were doing,” he sighed, taking one step closer to him. “Jay, what are you doing here,” he repeated slowly.

The prospect of explaining the entire thing to Cole seemed silly. Maybe because Cole should already know, or maybe because he had been in denial for nearly five years of his feelings and oh god the anticipation and anxiety were overwhelming. And so Jay opened his mouth to say something to Cole that might satisfy his queries, but all that came out was a choked sob.

The tears began and didn’t stop, not when Cole reached out a strong and steady arm and whispered reassurances like “hey, it’s okay,” and “shh, there.” The tears didn’t stop when Cole said “let’s get you inside,” and swooped Jay up in his arms and carried him all the way up the monastery’s steps up the mountain.

Jay cried harder at the prospect that this might be the last time he’s ever in Cole’s arms like this, bridal style.

And finally, Cole made it inside, shirt stained from tears that weren’t his and dotted with sweat from Jay’s temple. He took Jay to his bedroom and laid him down on his bed, before covering him up and sitting on the foot of his bed, as far away from arm’s reach as possible.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

Jay sniffed pathetically, sitting up from where the earth ninja had tucked him in.

This time, Jay instigated the closeness.

He slid his hand towards Cole, close but not touching. The other ninja held out his arms, and for the first time in a week, Jay quickly consented to falling into his embrace. It was a warm hug, with Cole’s strong, sturdy arms around Jay’s shaking frame.

Jay spoke, voice just above a whisper. “I think I might be gay. Or something. I dunno. Men.” Cole hugged him tighter, and the embrace grew more sincere.

Cole was about to say something, but Jay shushed him, as he had become aware enough to realize that a.) this might be far too intimate and b.) he just made Cole carry him, crying, all the way from the base of the mountain to the top.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he was overcome with some relief that had been just out of grasp for the last five years. He pulled away from Cole and wiped his eyes. “I’m not sure why I’m crying.”

“That’s okay,” Cole smiled. “I don’t mind.”

“No, I’m serious,” Jay said. The pair remained quiet, eyes downcast, some unspoken feelings of tension hanging in the air. “ I came to terms with my sexuality and then I- I just ran all the way down the monastery mountain like a lunatic and I probably really smelly and gross and you still hugged me and carried me. I’m sorry.”

Cole gave a soft smile and a small, gentle laugh that made Jay’s stomach flip, but he could almost sense the upcoming conversation:

Hey, Jay, how’d you realize you might be queer?

Oh, nothing, besides the fact that I often pictured your face on Nya’s when I kissed her (once) and that you sitting right here in front of me makes it pretty easy!

Jay nearly squeaked- yeah, no thanks. He’d rather not do that tonight. Instead, he laid back down on Cole’s bed.

“We don’t have to ever talk about it, if you don’t want to. But I do want you to know that this won’t change anything between us, okay? Like- I won’t stop being your friend…”

Jay felt a twinge of guilt, so he closed his eyes, perhaps pretending to be overcome with sleepiness.

“...and I’ll still love and support you unconditionally. As a partner and friend. Nothing will change because you’re gay, I promise.”

The lightning ninja isn’t sure what spunk possessed him in that moment, but when he found himself saying “what if I want things to change?” before his mind could think clearly, he nearly punched himself square in the jaw for his sheer audacity.

Cole blinked from the foot of the bed. “What?”

Jay composed himself, staring at the ceiling, and decided it was now or never to confess his feelings. “What I guess I mean is that I’d be okay with a change. Maybe not for the worst. Because I like you, Cole. Like- like like you. And you’ve always been touchy with me, and now I want those touches and hand holdings and long hugs to mean something.”

At first he was afraid he had upset Cole, because the black ninja didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity. But then, in a swift and fluid movement, he was lying in his bed beside Jay and spooning him.

“This means something,” he said. “And really, for me at least, it always has.”

Jay cuddled into Cole. This was nice. And now that he was comfortable, it was even better. No more suppressed feelings, no more denial. He could admire Cole for who he truly was- yes, a good training partner, with nice wavy black hair and dark skin that looks like amber in the afternoon light and biceps and abs that could rival a god, but also as a crush. A support. A partner...not only for training.

Jay was nearly asleep in Cole’s arms when he whispered, “can I kiss you?”

The earth ninja looked at Jay. “I’ve been waiting for you to since the day I met you,” he said, and their lips met with enthusiastic and warm vitality. Cole’s lips were soft, a stark contrast to his muscular body, and Jay wondered why he didn’t do this sooner.

“By the way,” Jay whispered, “I always hated the feeling of the nunchuck belt. I just let you put it on me because I liked the way your hands felt around my waist.”

“And you just now realized you’re gay?”

---

Nya peeked into the room and, admittedly, felt a little relieved when she saw Jay in Cole’s arms, both sound asleep.

She was so glad she had told Cole to go stargazing that night.

[fearsmagazine]

LOVE HURTS - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Black Mandala

SYNOPSIS: On the most romantic night of the year, six single twenty-somethings find themselves Valentine’s Day guests of a wealthy, mysterious host and are greeted by his tight-lipped butler.  Each of the guests have been lured by $10,000 and the promise of love. There is a catch, they must make it through dinner and reach a personal “breakthrough.” With nothing to lose these strangers open themselves up to the prospect of romantic connections. However, their vulnerability could leave all of them dead!

REVIEW: A bit of Agatha Christie, kitsch and Millennial angst serve up an entertaining and thrilling Valentine’s Day nightmare.

The screenplay is an interesting mix of genres with some stereotypical characters that feels like a discount drugstore’s discounted Valentine’s Day chocolates. They’re not See’s or Godiva's, but they satisfy a craving. You know from the setup that things are going to go wrong. Of interest, the host is a LGBTQ character who greets the unaware guests with a musical number in drag. The plot is interesting but the dialogue is cliched. You can finish character dialogue or the comeback lines. Expectations come to pass and you know “the host” knows a bit more than he is letting on. The lynchpin that makes it worth the watch is the big reveal at the end. It offers the  explanation as to some of the things going on in the background. It adds weight and a bit of gravitas to the film.

The cast is engaging, likable, but superficial and utilitarian. Given the plot it would have been nice to have characters that were a bit more dimensional. The performances play into that. I’m not sure if that kitsch was intentional or not. If it was, cool, but if not, cringe. Actor Sean Patrick Flanery is under utilized as Detective Holden. For those who have never seen it, he gives a stellar performance in the 1995 film “Powder” and I enjoyed him in “The Boondock Saints” films. Likewise, I’ve seen Simon Phillips in other films and TV series and his performance seems to lack some direction at times.

The production values feel like a made for TV/Hallmark movie. The editing and pacing impart a nice dynamic to the film so that the 2 hr. 19 min. running time does not lag. The space feels a bit too large and that the performances have to cover a distance. It’s a nice space for the setting but it could have been framed better and the cinematography could have added some atmosphere. Darren Morze’s score takes a back seat and offers nothing to the viewing experience. In fact, I really am unable to recall any of it. Instead of uplifting the material, it feels like director Hiroshi Katagiri is playing into the screenplay’s shortcomings.

LOVE HURTS is a flawed film that is a fun Valentine’s Day horror thriller that offers a few unsatisfying empty cinematic calories. I feel it suffers from an indecision of it being a comedy or a mystery/horror film. The cast gives it their best efforts but it languished in stereotypes and clichés. The ending is a bit better and feels like a different film. It is more serious than the rest of the narrative. LOVE HURTS is not painful and might take some of the pain out of a lonely Valentine's Day.

CAST: Sean Patrick Flanery, Natalie Burn, Simon Phillips, Andrés Erickson, Sean Sprawling, and Rich Paul. CREW: Director - Hiroshi Katagiri; Screenplay - Aviva Dove-Viebahn & Brittany Fonte; Producer - Andrei Dunca; Cinematographer - Joshua Ausley; Score - Darren Morze; Production Designer - Brian Alonso; Costume Designers - Raquel Anne & Christina Battaglia; Special Makeup Effects Artist - Erin Chaney OFFICIAL: N.A. FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/8nrOamuyRIk RELEASE DATE: February 14th, 2022

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay),  or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[thisbassslaps]

My Favorite Video Games

Here are five of my favorite video games that have been influential forms of entertainment and deserve some commemorative attention.

5. Tony Hawk's Underground - (2003)

Developed by Neversoft

I was a huge fan of the Tony Hawk's series. I picked up every game from THPS1 (1999) to Proving Ground (2007), before they began to use motion control. The gameplay is a lot of fun.... Hitting left-down->bb for a Gamecube 360 flip is very satisfying. I really enjoyed THUG 1 because it was the first game in the series to have a fully developed story. I was a New Jersey skater, looking to make it into skate industry and rip around the world. I remember the dialogue and story very well, and I constantly replayed it on higher difficulties, adding different pros to my "skate video". This is the only Tony Hawk game where I completed all of the gap locations. I also enjoyed re-creating Boarderline Skatepark in the Create-A-Park editor. It was cool to virtually skate my local park. I am disappointed that I deleted the park file from my memory card...

4. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D - (2015)

Developed by Grezzo

The Nintendo 3DS is my favorite console, specifically the New Nintendo 3DS XL. It is comfortable, sleek and has an enjoyable catalog of modern and old games. A Link Between Worlds was my introduction to the Zelda franchise. I eventually got around to Majora's Mask 3D and I instantly fell in love with the art style. The purples and pinks looked great and the level design was stellar. I loved playing MM3D during the Halloween season. For me, it fit the crisp Fall mood in a meaningful way. It's somber, lonely, spooky, uneasy (those creepy mask transfigurations...). I enjoyed running into the scarecrow at the Astral Observatory, as well as exploring the Ikana Graveyard at dusk. In typical Zelda fashion, the music by Koji Kondo is great (I love the Goron Village theme). As a side note, I had a wonderful time playing through Ocarina of Time 3D. That game is fantastic and very memorable... but I think that I enjoy MM a little more because of the spooky aesthetic, the main plot and the finely-tuned side missions.

3. EarthBound - (1994)

Developed by Ape Inc. and HAL Laboratory

Earthbound is another game that I logged a hearty amount of hours into. I was gaining interest in a few classics from the Nintendo eShop (Pokémon Yellow, A Link to the Past, Donkey Kong Country 2, Castlevania 3). Earthbound's cult status and quirky suburban setting greatly captured my attention. During a summer after college, I would enjoy the early mornings with a fresh cup of black coffee and Earthbound. The glitchy, psychedelic, 16-bit battle sequences paired nicely with the caffeine buzz...the catchy musical themes and the computer chip-like sound effects were just as addicting as the La Colombe coffee! I loved the dialogue, story, characters, levels....everything about this game was incredibly charming, witty, challenging and fun. The grinding in this game was enjoyable and the rolling hitpoints mechanic built up a lot of suspense during the more difficult battles. In homage to my favorite TV show, I changed the characters' names to familiar Twin Peaks names (Coop, Laura, Jcoby, Hawk). I was happy to have all of my characters above level 90 and to obtain the 1/128 Sword of Kings for Hawk/Poo. My favorite ending in a video game comes from Earthbound. The final chain of events are psychologically demanding and truly unforgettable.

2. Deadly Premonition: The Director's Cut - (2013)

Developed by ToyBox Inc.

I really, really love this game. Deadly Premonition is about as close as I can get to playing a Twin Peaks video game. The Lynchian mood was noticeable throughout my entire playthrough and the clunky gameplay/poorly rendered graphics/subpar sound mixing makes me love the game even more. In the game, you play as Agent Francis York Morgan, who is attempting to solve the murder of Anna Graham in Greenvale, Washington. Deadly Premonition is a bizarre murder mystery, filled with highly developed townsfolk, quirky city police officers, a breathtaking Pacific Northwest setting, terrifying ghouls and the infamous Raincoat Killer. There were a number of instances where the Twin Peaks influence was delightfully apparent. Some examples include the design of the Greenvale Sheriff's Department, A & G Diner, The Pot Lady, the picture of Velvet Falls in York's hotel room. I enjoyed coming across these easter eggs and loved exploring all areas and aspects of the game. I genuinely enjoyed spending time at the hotel, conversing with Polly (the owner of the Great Deer Yard Hotel) and having a cup of coffee (with milk, no sugar). The deeply thoughtful plot, the memorable soundtrack (that "Whistle Theme" and those screeching saxophones..ahh!!) and the open world exploration provided the perfect atmosphere for me to become captivated by the game. Unfortunately, I did not do all of the side missions, as I opted for the endgame cutscene. Maybe one day I will hook up my PS3 and attempt to complete all of the content that I missed (isn't that right, Zach?).

1. Donkey Kong 64 - (1999)

Developed by Rare

On Christmas of 1999, I received a Nintendo 64 and Donkey Kong 64. The N64 was my first home video game console and I was ecstatic. I hooked it up to my older sister's television, popped in the brand new, yellow cartridge and was immediately in awe of what I was seeing. The D.K. Rap was (and still is) amazing and the title screen had me more than ready to play. I specifically remember being enchanted by the sweeping cinematic for the Jungle Japes level. The game blew my mind. I played it nearly every summer from 3rd grade up until 12th grade and explored every single nook and cranny. I collected and completed everything for a 101% game completion status! Grant Kirkhope's soundtrack is truly the best, the sound effects are extremely nostalgic, the characters' personalities are super expressive, the 3D level design is engrossing and the comedic tone of the game had me entertained for hours and hours. I loved this game so much. As a teenager, I wrote my own version of a DK Rap, which included five different dogs that were a part of my close family. What makes this game so special to me is the fact that I had a few friends and family members who also loved the game. Having a camaraderie that surrounded the game made it more enjoyable for me to beat a boss, complete challenging mini-games, watch cutscenes and stumble upon something hilarious. Donkey Kong 64 is an absolute gem and it will always be favorite.

[inventors-fair]

The Dawn Returns: Innistrad Multicolor Winners ~

Congratulations to @hiygamer, @maispace, and @starch255 for winning this week’s contest!

@hiygamer — Selfless Lookout // Heartless Traitor

Here’s the thing: I don’t know if your scout depicted on the front face is being entirely honest. Like, okay, there’s gonna be pushback against this because selflessness as a concept is pretty antithetical to black, and you know what, I agree with these dissenting voices. But what if he’s lying? What if he’s giving the appearance of wariness but is in fact already chosen? I’m justifying a lot because of how much I love this card’s play. Having a bear that eventually transforms into a big vampire finisher means that you can utilize turn five much more effectively in an aggro format without having to force that slot. And it can attack as well, which I love. The whole mood is just nice, in a strictly storytelling way. Like, someone sees this, and they have to ask: what does the back face turn into? But it’s a betrayal, oh no! Does this impact get lost when it depicts the human side talking to the same allies (your stuff) that it eventually betrays? Well yes. Is the general mood still good and does the gameplay feel trump that minor stumble? IMO, yes.

~

@maispace — Stitcher’s Training // Stitcher’s Thesis

In terms of unique utilization of flavorful and mechanics, this card is stellar. There were some tough zombie calls this week, but this card, while it’s a little initially slow, can make for such a neat concept. I will say, unfortunately, that it’s REALLY hard to build around in limited, but will usually snag a flier as far as I can tell, and this is still the conceptual stage. But no, let’s save the iffiness, because this card is gloriously put together, just like the thesis. The +1/+1 counters on the enchantment feel like unresolved work just begging to become, which is a fantastic touch, and the fact that you have to build up such a monstrosity out of stitched parts from around the magical world to make the most effective thesis project just... It feels fantastic. It’s everything that the silly Frankensteinian trope wants. Decent flavor text, too! I think that not every zombie players wants this, but a good number will try to make it work.

~

@starch255 — Rem Karolus, Taker of Names

“Is this an OC?” I asked myself. Considering the mulchiness of a certain recent submission, I wouldn’t be surprised or any less delighted, but nope, this is a big legend from the set that I just forgot about. It’s kinda funny, but kinda a genuine point—I think this guy really needs to say “non-Human creature” because otherwise he’s just kinda really, really prejudiced. Still, dealing extra damage to a tough werewolf or a horde of zombies or a hissing vampire is awesome. Heh, it’s kinda interesting how 1/1 Human tokens can, if Rem’s exiled a zombie or wolf, now deal damage to the other 2/2 tokens more easily and win that fight. Regardless, this is a limited bomb for the aggro shell that honestly works well in any deck running against creatures. He goes down easily to general removal, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles and he’s not in this to protect himself; he’s a slayer. “Everything that you got is what I want to kill.” And kill you do, Rem. Simplicity and strength. Good job.

Once again, thank you all for your entries! We’ll see how far I get into commentary after the runners-up, but I think this’ll be a nice easy one. Not the biggest bundle, and some pretty neat designs to talk about and lessons to be learned. Let the warmth of autumn embrace you.

Your faithful, @abelzumi

[365days365movies]

January 24, 2021: Speed Racer (Epilogue)

When it came out, Speed Racer wasn’t exactly criticially acclaimed. The Rotten Tomatoes summary for the critical response is as such:

Overloaded with headache-inducing special effects, Speed Racer finds the Wachowskis focused on visual thrills at the expense of a coherent storyline.

And, I mean:

Part of that criticism is understandable, let’s be honest. But how about the rest of it? Well...

Recap

Cast and Acting

I’ll be honest, Emile Hirsch is only OK as Speed Racer. I mean, he certainly isn’t bad, but I also can’t call him an acting dynamo in this one. This probably has to do with the writing and the direction, but he was still just fine; not much more than that. Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon and Matthew Fox, on the other hand, all definitely take this very seriously, and pour some serious acting chops into their roles. Even Goodman, who as one point has to seriously say the word “non-ja” - yes, really - really gives it some fatherly energy that the role demands. Color me impressed! Roger Allam, too, deserves praise for REALLY pouring on that corporate supervillain energy, like he came right out of comic books. Like I said in the recap, he really channels Tim Curry-caliber acting here, and as over-the-top as that is, it’s fun to watch! Every other actor basically plays their roles as if they’re in a live-action cartoon. Which, to be fair, they are. So, for all of that, we’re going with a 7/10. Oh, and  Paulie Litt as Spritle? That kid is goddamn annoying...which is the point. So, yeah, pretty great job to him, I guess.

Plot and Writing

Plot’s about as typical as you can get for this kind of movie. Honestly, if you were to ask me to draft a Speed Racer film script, it’d probably exactly this movie. And...yeah, that’s entirely fine, I don’t really see any issues with it. Writing is silly at times, and rarely ever profound, but again: you kind of get what you pay for. For what they were given to work with, the Wachowskis (yes, they also wrote this bad boy) did fine. 6/10?

Directing and Action

...8/10. I-I can’t believe it, either. Yeah, um, the racing scenes, the shots, all of it? It’s stellar. This might be a living cartoon, but GODDAMN do they lean into that well. Nothing else to say here, the Wachowskis were clearly the right choice here. My only complaint is that I wish this movie was ENTIRELY in CGI, to be honest. I think the movie actually suffers from being in live-action at all. THat’s why this score isn’t perfect.

Production and Art Design

This one, however, is an unabashed 10/10. Because from the cars to the raceways, and even to the CGI stuff, this film looks AMAZING. IF, that is, you know how to look at it. Gotta say, after getting used to the technicolor bombast of this movie, those visuals got much less distracting, and I was able to actually focus on them. 

Music and Editing

This is a soundtrack I would buy. My biggest complaint with some of these adapted cartoon properties is the lack of iconic music you can find in them (LOOKIN’ AT YOU, BAYFORMERS), and the score absolutely uses the original song to its advantage, while also updating it to a satisfying instrumental. Nice one...MICHAEL GIACCHINO??? The Avengers and The Incredibles composer? THAT MICHAEL GIACCHINO??? No wonder I love the music here!

How about editing? Well...editing leaves something to be desired, sorry to say. Some of the distracting way these sequences are constructed is...less than stellar. Still, Zack Staenberg and Roger Barton did very well with the racing sequences, so it’s got some high highs, alongside its dismal lows. In other words, 7/10 overall here.

76%, and that sounds about right to me!

Is this my favorite racing movie or car movie? No, Mad Max Fury Road still has it beat there. Is this a movie I would watch again? Weirdly...yeah, yeah 100%, and with other people. This isn’t the best movie in the world, obviously, but I do agree that it’s underrated. It’s crazy, its bombastic (yes, I do love that word), it’s nonsensically seizure-inducing...and it’s somehow intriguing at the same time. Would watch again.

That’s it for cars! And we’re in the last week of Action January! Wow, that’s crazy. Can’t believe I’ve kept this up for this long, to be honest. So, how to send off this month? I already know the ending, but how to start? Well...I guess there’s one major subgenre I haven’t touched: disaster.

January 24, 2021: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

[specterchasing-a]

Brainberry Picking || Morgan & Eddie

TIMING: Current-ish

LOCATION: Jericho Hill Cemetery

PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems​ & @specterchasing​

SUMMARY: A zombie and a medium meet in a graveyard, one of them might have a foot fetish.

CONTENT: Aside from the foot fetish, all is well.

“I just don’t see how you can have a whole existence that relies on human systems and communities--well people systems and communities and not give a crap just because you’ve been doing it for a long time,” Morgan complained, swilling her chopsticks around her brains and rice. “Aren’t we responsible for each other even if we’re three hundred and some baby normie is twenty? How can apathy be a good thing?” 

It was her off day from work, and rather than worry her family by spending the day cooped up inside, she opted to spend as much time outside as possible, even if being in hunting range made her nervous. But Jericho Hill was more ghostly than anything else, and the trusted the soldier to signal if he saw anything dangerous looking, even if he did talk a big game about being specater in the game of humanity, and the effects of longevity. He’d saved her and Erin. He had more of a heart than he wanted to admit, even for a centuries-old kid.

The colonial soldier shrugged and said that she should wait and see until she was older. 

“Okay, teen grandpa,” Morgan deadpanned.

The colonial soldier changed the subject by way of nodding toward her foot. Did she require assistance or was she really just that bad at noticing grievous injuries?

Morgan looked down at the chunks of broken bottle protruding from her toes. “Fucking--” She hissed and propped up her foot, starting to yank out the pieces one by one and wipe the black blood on her skirt so there wouldn’t be anything for hunters to find when they prowled at night. Her wounds would close up soon enough. As much as she wanted to sport as much extra strength as possible, she hadn’t figured out how to negotiate her fear of being caught off guard by some junior college murderer and the fear of not being herself. 

In the distance, stone scattered across the tall grass. Morgan stopped, mid tug, and looked around. “Hello?”

Jericho Hill, one of Eddie’s most beloved places to visit. The other cemeteries in town had their charm, but meandering among the derelict headstones of White Crest’s oldest burial ground came second to none. As per usual, he arrived with a camera—just in case. 

Eddie minded the graves as he wandered, making sure not to intrude on anyone’s final resting place. Midway through the graveyard, he spotted two figures with their backs to him in the midst of conversation. Considering Jericho Hill was open to the public, that would’ve been a perfectly ordinary occurrence, except one of the figures happened to be a colonial soldier far beyond his expiration date. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the possibility of encountering another medium but, as he grew closer, he noticed the potential medium doing something with her foot.

Raising his camera, Eddie slowed his pace and zoomed in on the woman’s feet for a better look. “Oh, what the fu—” He stumbled over a semi-interred rock, nearly losing his balance and dislodging the rock in one fell swoop.

“Hello?” said the woman. 

Eddie froze in place as if staying perfectly still made him invisible. Realizing she likely had very little in common with Spielbergian dinosaurs, he cleared his throat and waved sheepishly. “Beautiful day, huh? Hey—is your foot okay?”

Morgan stiffened at the sound of a voice nearby. She ran a dozen or so scenarios Mina had drilled into her. She was better at defense on account of nine more months of practice, but that didn’t mean she relished the thought of having to throw anyone to the ground or break any bones. 

But it was just some kid, looking like a peeping tom who’d been found out. 

“Is it a beautiful day?” She challenged. “Because being spied on doesn’t usually fall under my ‘beautiful day’ umbrella.” At the mention of her foot, she put hers back down and yanked as many pieces out under the cover of the grass as she could. “I’m fine. Why are you looking at my feet in the first place?”

“Hold on, don’t do that,” Eddie said with a shake of his head. “Don’t make me sound like some kind of graveyard-foot-pervert. Look at it.” He gestured towards the foot in question. “That’s not natural and neither is talking to ghosts—hey, by the way, nice to see you again, Terry.” The second half of his statement was directed at the colonial soldier and paired with another short wave.

“Hi, Eddie,” the ghost responded.

 “Y’know, I was just excited to meet someone else who could see them, but the whole black goo thing kind of threw me off my game.” Eddie’s attention reverted back to the woman currently picking at her foot. “Also, who eats in cemeteries? I’m just saying, let he who is not being super weird in public cast the first stone.”

Morgan didn’t know what to process first, having her injuries spotted by a Gen-Z wunderkind with a camera, the “not natural” thing, him seeing the ghost, or-- 

“Terry? Really? You tell him your name, but not me?” Morgan reached over and elbowed the soldier through his arm.

“A man has to keep some mystery with a pretty lady,” he replied, smirking through the gash in his face.

 “Now you’re just trying to clean it up. Did you see him coming too?” She turned back to the kid, Eddie apparently, and  tucked her feet under her skirt. “Whatever you are, you aren’t the only kind of person who can make friends with ghosts,” she said, miffed but starting to deflate. He had said he was excited. Excited people usually didn’t try to lop off your head. “And for your information, cemetery picnics have been a time honored tradition for centuries. The Victorians designed some of their cemeteries to be enjoyed like parks. And there’s a lot less---” Kids. Couples picnicking. Burger wrappers and empty slushie cups. Life. “Crowds, in a cemetery. I like the quiet. And the company. Sometimes.” She side-eyed Terry, who clutched his chest like he was wounded.

The conversation unfolding before Eddie left him feeling like a child seeing their parents get into an argument. He casually averted his gaze in an attempt to give them some semblance of privacy while they worked through their dispute. Before he knew it, the irate woman’s attention was back on him and he found himself wishing their argument would have gone on longer.

“That’s… actually very cool,” Eddie admitted, his brows raising in approval. “But, um, circling back to what you said about seeing ghosts—I’m a medium, I thought we were only ones with that specific privilege.” He couldn’t help feeling inadequate as he confessed his ignorance. Eddie dedicated his life to knowing about the supernatural, but he barely knew anything for certain. “Who else made the cut? Obviously, you don’t have to, like, tell me what you are, or anything. Not unless you want to, which would be stellar, but… I feel like I should know that kind of thing.”

 “Medium, huh?” Morgan said, sizing the kid up again. “I’ve met a few of you. Exorcists, mostly, but still. But, since you asked so nicely, all of the undead I’m aware of and some fae can see and hear ghosts. It seems to be a proximity to death sort of thing, but I don’t know how the metaphysics works.” She set her lunch aside and dropped her hand under her foot to finish picking out the glass, away from view. She was mostly sure he didn’t actually have some voyeuristic foot fetish, but that didn’t do much for her self-consciousness. It was one thing to patch herself up at home, or with dead people who didn’t care, but with strangers, she felt the wrongness of her body. It wasn’t neutral, it was batshit. “You must be some kind of death enthusiast too, though. Coming out here by yourself in the middle of the day? It’s not exactly the nicest cemetery in town. I hardly see anyone alive out here on my visits. Shouldn’t you be hustling or studying or having fun somewhere?”

Eddie’s eyes glistened with rabid enthusiasm at the mention of the undead and fae. He’d only recently learned about the existence of zombies, and his fae-knowledge severely lacked depth. And here this woman was, sounding like she knew a great deal about both.

“Hustling?” he repeated the word with bashful incredulity. “I mean, this is fun for me. Not to sound edgy, but I love the dead. The living are cool too, but… they’ve never felt like home, y’know? All my life, I’ve been surrounded by dead people that either needed my help, or who helped me. I like spending as much time with them as I can.” He tried not to watch as she covertly plucked at her foot. Curious as he was, he could do without further insinuation that he harbored some sort of affinity for feet. “Is that how you are?”

With the last of the glass picked out, Morgan went still and regarded Eddie more carefully. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d met a human who spoke so affectionately about the dead, and she wasn’t sure whether to be thrilled or concerned. “You talk about the living like you aren’t one of them,” she said. “I don’t meet too many humans that apathetic about who they are. But your ghosts--they were good to you? You weren’t ever scared?” But one revelation deserved a little something in return, and anyone that fond of the dead probably wouldn’t sell her out. Morgan pursed her lips as she thought her answer over. “I am recently un-humaned, yes,” she said. “A little over a year now. You could say making friends with death saved my un-life, but I had lots of other help too. Living-people-help.”

The stranger had a point—Eddie never felt like he belonged among the living—but never had the dissonance he felt been stated so bluntly. “I guess, yeah. The living are assholes, for the most part.” There were, of course, exceptions to that rule, but they were few and far between. “Most have been good to me, except…” Eddie shook his head gently. “They’re individuals too, can’t expect them to all be winners.” As she admitted to being undead, he looked at her with enraptured awe. “That’s… wow. I mean, first of all, I’m sorry for your loss. You’ve probably got a handle on things by now, but I’m sure that’s a pretty wild transition. And, I’m glad you had people to help you adjust, support systems are so important.” Eddie took a moment to center himself. “What’s the, uh, preferred terminology for your… condition? Also, wow, I should probably ask your name, huh? Like Terry said, I’m Eddie. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He bowed his head slightly to punctuate his sentence.

“The living are individuals too, Eddie,” Morgan said. “And if you didn’t know about undead and fae seeing ghosts, I’m guessing you haven’t met many of the other living species of people out there. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to dismiss all of them out of hand. Or especially kind. Your ghosts were living once too, you know.” But Eddie’s vagueness piqued a troubling sense of familiarity in Morgan. Children didn’t tend to rely on ghosts if they had live people to take good care of them. “Those must have been some pretty shitty assholes to make you give up on everyone alive, human or not. I’m sorry for that, Eddie. Whatever happened to you, whoever was that cruel--I know how it can feel safer to just pull away and not risk yourself again, when you’ve suffered enough in a certain way. And I’m sorry.” She sighed and held out her hand to the kid, smiling sadly for both of them. “I’m Morgan Beck. You can refer to my ‘condition’ as zombie. But that’s classified. I don’t really enjoy having to fight for my existence. Not that a slayer won’t already know what I am on sight, but I’d rather they not get any extra help you know?” Her smile curled bitterly and she turned her eyes to the rest of the cemetery. “Are you really out here because it’s fun, Eddie…?” She asked quietly. “Or is it something else, too?”

When Eddie set out for Jericho Hill earlier in the day, he hadn’t expected a lecture. “Death changes a person,” he said softly after she reminded him that ghosts weren’t always memories. It didn’t take him long to realize the issue with his statement. “Preacher, choir.” He gestured first to himself, then Morgan as he assigned the labels. “You probably have a point.”

Eddie found himself nodding along with her condemnation of ‘shitty assholes’ initially, but he stilled when he heard her apology. His expression fell into unsure neutrality; he didn’t know how to respond. Strangers weren’t usually that kind, and they never read him like a book. It took him a moment to register her outstretched hand before he grasped it with his.

“Pleasure to meet you, Morgan Beck,” Eddie said, mirroring her sad smile. “Your secret’s safe with me. People like you shouldn’t be hunted, anyway.” Her question took some mulling over. Eddie didn’t particularly like being open and honest on that front. “Well, I mean, it is fun, but…” He trailed off with a sigh before shrugging. “Actually, that’s kind of bullshit. I can’t remember the last time I had fun—maybe with Bex or Alfie, but that’s different. Having fun with friends is easy but, when I’m alone…” Eddie shook his head and let out a terse sigh. “Are you, like, a psychiatrist or something? Analyzing brains by day, eating them by night.”

“What? Death changes you? No kidding,” Morgan deadpanned. “You can consider me an expert on both sides of the curtain,” she added more kindly. “Thank you. For your...Human-Plus allyship?” She wasn’t sure what to call it. She confided in so few humans these days. She had enough on her plate with her family as it was. 

She kept looking at Eddie, his battered hollowness and his resilient vitality. There was more than one way to be alive and dead, she supposed. “I’m an adjunct professor in the English department at the university,” she said. “But I spent my alive-time on earth literally cursed with suffering, and consequently spent a lot of time desperately wanting to get to know people and being afraid of getting too close, in case they got sucked into my magic bullshit. So I’m good at noticing things and I understand a lot. Like that feeling where you can be mostly okay when you’re with people, especially the ones you care about, but when it’s just you that feeling you’re running from is still there and it settles in. But we don’t have to talk about that, if it makes you uncomfortable. Also, I resent the suggestion that I eat people. I’m actually trying to hurt as few people as possible right now for reasons that have nothing to do with my appetite, which I monitor and manage very carefully. So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do that again. You can tell me about how you know Bex, if you really want a change of subject.” Beaming at Eddie, she brought up her knees and let her head fall to rest on them and settled in. She’d given him a lot, but if he was friends with Bex, it was probably best he got used to the ride.

Eddie deserved her snark, even he could admit that. Despite his theorizing, fantasizing, and romanticizing—he didn’t know what it meant to be dead. Against better judgement, he envied Morgan and the way she straddled the line between life and death. It sounded ideal, at least on paper. “I strive to be a friend of the dead,” he said with a mild shrug. “Clearly, that doesn’t absolve me of insensitivity though, sorry about that.”

As she caught him up to speed on the source of her empathy, he listened with enraptured fascination. Eddie didn’t know the first thing about curses, but he liked to think he understood the loneliness she alluded to. “Sounds like you got saddled with a spectator role, that sucks. Most people aren’t built for that.” He hoped he wasn’t projecting, but he wouldn’t be surprised if that turned out to be the case.

“Shit—thanks for correcting me. I shouldn’t have made an assumption like that,” he admitted timidly when she kindly scolded him for his comment about brain-eating. His face lit up at the mention of Bex. “You know ‘er?” he asked, taking a seat in front of Morgan. Knowing she was familiar with someone like Bex instantly eased whatever lingering uncertainty he still felt. “We met pretty recently, I guess, but she’s the kind of person I feel like I’ve known a lot longer than I actually have, y’know?” 

Eddie wondered how much information was safe to bring-up, ultimately deciding to play it safe. “It was after… well, she’d just gone through something pretty awful, and I think I made things a little harder on her. Not on purpose, of course, I didn’t know, but… she was really kind to me, anyway. I think that goes to show how special she is.” He neglected to mention the magical mishap; maybe Morgan didn’t know that side of Bex. “How do you know her? If that’s alright to ask, I mean.”

“You weren’t built to be a spectator in your life either, Eddie,” Morgan said. “No one is. We are here to learn, to connect, to experience. What’s the point of being stuck in a body if not to feel? What’s the point of being surrounded by so much mess and beauty if not to learn as much as you can from it? It’s cruel to take it for granted. And it’s cruel to hurt someone in a way that they cut themself off from anything good they might find in their tiny little existence.” 

She fingered the tall, young grass as she spoke. She could never settle on a memory to give its strange, invisible touch more substance. When she was a child in Houston and her mother would send her into the yard to practice her alchemy, the grass was thick and sharp. It prickled her feet so badly she’d check her heels to see if they had cut her. They never did. So maybe the grass was like dull needles, or like tiptoeing around the rules, since she would often do her exercises slowly or skip steps on purpose so she could do them over again and make her time out last longer. Long enough to see the stars appear, but before the mosquitoes ate her up.

“But yes, I was really bad at keeping my distance,” she went on. “Which made for a lot of good experiences and a lot of hurt. Honestly, I wish I’d taken more risks, made more kinds of alive-memories to hold onto.”

She couldn’t help but beam at hearing the boy talk about Bex. Nothing he said was news to her, but it was nice to see her kindness reflected in someone else’s eyes. “Bex is staying with me right now. Has been for a while. Well, me and my girlfriend. We care for her as if she was ours, as best as we know how, anyway. So I know,” she grinned. “You’re not breaking supernatural club rules if you want to talk about her.”

Eddie wanted to agree with Morgan, to say that life was something precious and cherishable, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. Death looked a lot more appealing to him whether or not he made a triumphant return as something a little less human. “Cruel or not, people do it anyway,” he said with a shrug. “I’m coping with it the only way I know how.” Granted, his coping looked a lot more like sabotaging. 

Eddie didn’t think much of the grass, it was just grass; everywhere and unextraordinary. All it had to offer him were stains, the thought of which made him shift uncomfortably. He felt that way about a lot of everyday life’s mundanities. They didn’t exist unless they caused a problem. Morgan had a point when she warned him against taking things for granted, but Eddie didn’t realize it. How could he?

“I bet that’s weird,” he said. “Everything changing, but also not. I don’t know much about zombies, obviously, but I know coming back is rough for a lot of ghosts. I’d tell you that there’s still time to take those risks, but I get the sense you didn’t come to Jericho Hill looking for silver linings. At least, not ones given to you by some random guy with a foot fetish.” He ended on a joke in the hopes that it might lighten the mood, praying she didn’t think he was serious.

A sigh of relief passed Eddie’s lips. “Beamed a heaping helping of trauma right into my head,” he explained. “She didn’t mean to, of course, and I’m not exactly mad about it, anyway. Knowing her is worth a little muss and fuss. That said, I learned my lesson. No more alleyways for Bex.”

“Eddie, and I mean this kindly, with the kind of empathy that comes from experience--” Morgan prefaced her words softly, giving Eddie a look that pitied and understood too well. “Putting all your attention on other people’s problems so you don’t have to look at your own doesn’t make them go away, or get smaller. A lot of the time it just makes them grow heavier and sink their roots deeper into you.” 

She reached out and gently flicked some of his long hair out of his eyes. “Worrying about me isn’t coping. What’s so bad about turning all this nice attention on yourself? I know people haven’t been kind, but whatever they said or did, they weren’t right about you. You deserve kindness. And love. Being here is hard enough without being cruel to yourself too. But--” She grinned wryly. “You didn’t come to Jericho Hill for a pep talk from a walking dead lady.” 

She picked up her Pyrex and ate the last bit of lunch and dusted herself off. “I’m going to go home and prep some raccoon bones for my next art project, if you want to come. Bex has some really great pieces she’s made too. But we know each other now, so I hope you won’t try and disappear just because I know what song you’re playing.”

Eddie listened as Morgan spoke. Meanwhile, his stomach twisted into anxious knots. He didn’t want to hear that putting others first wasn’t the answer. Tackling his problems head-on hurt too much, especially considering he rarely had help. “Yeah, so I’ve noticed.” His gaze fell to the ground. Eddie couldn’t bring himself to say more, it might inspire her to confront him with even more difficult truths. It was nice feeling like she cared, he didn’t expect that from someone he just met, but it was also heavy. 

Eddie let out a soft huff of laughter when she flicked a strand of his hair. Such a simple gesture, but the familiarity of it inspired a gush of affection. “Maybe not, but I’m glad that didn’t stop her from giving it to me anyway.”

“Are you kidding?” Eddie asked in disbelief, rising to his feet. “You’re a bone-art making, pep talk giving zombie with a weirdly comforting southern accent. Good luck getting rid of me, you’ll need it.”

[asthmark]

❝ lucky ❞, z.c

pairing → chenle, reader

genre → fluff, angst? a lil??

word count → 3.1k (woah!!)

summary → "you just deserve… so much more than that. do you realize how true that must be for a boy you just met today to see it?"

a/n → this is 1000% inspired by this pic that dropped yesterday like.....chenle looked so good it reminded me why i bias him!!!! anyway i kind of like this it has rich chenle and daddy issues thats all xoxo (also i did not proofread like at all so if theres any typos it was taeil's fault lol)

everyone in the room is utterly unbearable.

you understand it's rude to think so but you're sure that if you were to tell any of them this they would instantly agree with you. of course, you would never do that. because you're a ceo's daughter; you're not allowed to have an opinion that would make you look imprudent, rude or anything less of perfect.

so what do you do? you smile. you make small talk. you try your best to ignore your sore feet that are confined in your pumps and the way your dress rides up your butt. your lack of manners could not and would not be the reason your father missed out on any chance to make some more money. he made that very clear to you. after all, the only reason he dragged you along to all these house parties was so you could make make a stellar impression. he wanted all the businessmen in the room to remember mr. l/n and his charming young daughter when they got in their limousines and drove back home so that they'd remember when they discussed mergers and new projects.

you were never comfortable with the idea of your father essentially using you as some sort of accessory but you sometimes went days on end without seeing him so you took what time you could get. of course, helping him build his empire and boost his reputation wasn't your preferred daddy-daughter activity but you would never tell him that. it would just cause problems in your already rocky relationship and you certainly didn't need that.

"y/n." speak of the devil. "why don't you make conversation with the other guests? or better yet, come talk to these investors. i'm sure they'd love to meet you."

you know exactly what your father means by that so you try to find a reason to decline. anything would be better than watching him suck up to anyone with deep pockets and try to get you to do the same. "um." you repress a relieved sigh when you catch sight of yuna entering and handing her coat to a housekeeper. "actually i see my friend over there. i think i'll just go talk to her."

he frowns and you realize his face seems to be permanently stuck like that when he was around you. you can't remember the last time you'd seen an authentic smile from him. you suppose that was reserved for when he was trying to seal a deal.

"just behave yourself," he says. he leans into your ear. "remember, people are watching."

then he's gone, leaving you standing alone for a split second before yuna comes and takes his place.

"hey!" she draws out the word for dramatic effect.

"hi," you respond, your greeting lacking the enthusiasm hers held. she wasn't your favorite person but it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't observing your every move. it gave you a break from the ridiculous standards everyone else seemed to hold you to.

she brushes her bangs out of her eyes as she sized you up. "ooh, i love your heels! how much?"

"like 15 bucks." her jaw drops and you can't help but giggle. "yeah, i bought them at a thrift store. just don't tell my dad."

she grins. "wow, i always thought thrifting was for poor people but i just might have to check it out now."

that was the thing about yuna. she was stupid rich and she wouldn't have it any other way. she loved designer brands and houses so big you could get lost in them. you didn't blame her for any of that but it was the fact that she didn't mind the stuffy dinner parties and being shown off that was a little puzzling to you. unlike you, she had perfected her fake laugh and polite small talk long ago and sometimes you wondered if she really did care about all these companies and powerful men. but you know that as long as she gets to wear her thousand dollar dresses and go home to her cozy mansion, she'll be happy. she did what it took to keep her lavish lifestyle and was a little too materialistic for your liking and you guess that's where you and her are different.

you finally answer her. "yeah, definitely. it's a lot of fun."

her eyes light up. "we should go together one of these days!"

your silence is definitely too long but thankfully, yuna doesn't notice. her short attention span had caused her to focus on something else—more specifically, someone.

"oh my god," she says. "who is that?"

a boy who looks around your age has appeared, accompanied by a middle-aged man in a suit. the older man is more put together by far but you still can't help but stare at who you assume to be his son. he's wearing a black jacket on top of a striped shirt and you notice that chains hang from his neck. a belt holds up a pair of dark and tight pants. and, god, is he wearing converse?

you can't help but crack a smile at that. you envy his comfortable look; you would trade all the chanel and prada in the world just to wear a t-shirt and pair of sneakers and not have everyone in the room judge you for it. but his outfit isn't the only thing you admire. he must have crazy amounts of confidence to show up looking like he does when being surrounded by so many managers, executives, and company heads. you can only imagine what they're thinking and yet, the boy didn't seem to care or look uncomfortable in the slightest. in fact, he seems oddly at ease, his eyes scanning the room. at one point his eyes sweep over you and you lock eyes.

you watch as he brushes his bangs out of his face, almost like he's trying to get a better look at you. you only stare back, shifting your weight from one leg to the other. he offers you a half smile, his eyes squinting slightly and cheeks growing. you can't help but smile back, noticing just how the stranger's had an adorable baby face.

he looks away when he notices his father gravitating towards a group of businessmen and follows him. you almost wonder if he was in the same position as you were, if he was nothing but a poster child who was shown off at every event and party there was. then you notice how his father holds him tightly and smiles widely—genuinely—when he introduces him to others.

your father never did that. he wouldn't let you wear clothes like that either. you could only assume that this boy and his father were different from the rest of you. maybe they sat down and had dinner together everyday? talked to each other about their day? you almost throw the idea out of your head completely because it seems just too foreign to you.

"oh my god," yuna says. that seemed to be her favorite phrase. "i've never seen them before. what do you think they're doing here?"

you shrug. "maybe they're new to town?"

she hums. you both stay silent, observing the pair before yuna seems to grow impatient. "well i'm gonna go meet them. i can't handle being out of the loop. wanna come?"

you say agree. you feel obligated to. for the first time in forever you're actually interested in something at one of these dull parties, you're not going to stand around and just watch.

you approach the newcomers, both your fathers and a couple other businessmen conversing with them. you wonder if they've already asked them how much they're worth or if they had the decency to wait a minute before sticking their noses in their business. but, you knew how people like them operated; decency was way too much to ask.

"hi daddy!" yuna enters the conversation swiftly.

"hi, sweetheart," her father responds, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "this is my precious daughter, mr. zhong." he turns to yuna. "he and his son are visiting us all the way from our china branch. yuna, introduce yourself."

she doesn't need to be told twice. "hello, i'm yuna. i'm 17 years old and i'm studying at daewon preparatory. we're glad to have you here.it's a pleasure to meet you both."

mr. zhong smiles fondly at her. "the pleasure is all mine, young lady. what a beautiful daughter you have, mr. shin. she seems very capable."

yuna's father pulls her close to him, smiling at mr. zhong then her. "she sure is." you catch the subtle wink he throws her way, a silent 'good job' for that cute little introduction she did which was sure to score them some popularity points with the zhongs.

your father pulls you close to him and wraps an arm around your figure. both mr. zhong and mr. shin seem to be quite the fans of physical contact and although your father was not, you know that if that's what it took to make a good impression, he would become one, at least for the night.

"this is my daughter, mr. zhong." he turns to you and you take it as a cue to say something.

"hello, mr. zhong. i'm y/n." your introduction ends there and you feel your dad's grip on your arm tighten, indicating how unsatisfied he was with your brief answer.

you catch mr. zhong's son smile for the second time that night. although there is no mysterious eye contact this time, just a cute boy probably making fun of your lame introduction.

"well, how old are you, y/n?" mr. zhong asks, making conversation for you.

"i'm eighteen."

"oh, so is my son! isn't that right, chenle?"

his son—chenle—nods.

"well, i think we should leave the children to become acquainted. what do you think, gentlemen?"

everyone seems to agree. then, all that's left is the three of you.

to your surprise, chenle speaks first and it's a reintroduction. "i'm chenle."

you copy him. "i'm y/n."

"and i'm yuna. so, you're from china right?" she doesn't give him a chance to respond. "i read that there are over four million millionaires there. are you one of them?"

he furrows his brows and you can't help but sigh at yuna's question. she was fixed on the money aspect of things, as usual.

"i guess," he says, giving it little thought.

she practically squeals. "you're probably one of the youngest in the country! have you ever thought about that?"

"not really. i don't really like to think about money or these companies or big shot business dudes or any of that," he says, bluntly. "i mean, it would just make me feel more privileged than i already am. besides, it's all just a big headache. i'll leave it for the old man."

yuna's face falls and you hold in a laugh.

you finally chime in. "you know what, i have to agree. so much money can drive a person crazy. sometimes it even goes straight to their heads."

chenle can't hold back his amused snort. both him and yuna know exactly who you're referring to.

she wastes no time defending herself.  "but, with reason y/n. to be fair, only 1% of millionaires are under 35 and here i am at 16."

you restrain yourself from scoffing. "well i'm sure the other 99% of the population doesn't get things handed to them on a silver platter by their daddy, yuna."

she stares you down, her huge, hazel eyes never leaving your e/c ones. "i think it'd be best if i excused myself. i'm going to go find my father, if you both don't mind."

"not at all," chenle mumbles as you both watch her stomp away.

you exhale loudly. "i knew i was gonna snap one of these days."

"well, if you didn't i would have," chenle responds.

"frankly, i don't regret a thing," you say, turning back to his smiling face.

"mm, and what if she tells daddy?" he inquires, folding his arms.

you playfully raise a brow. "i'll have you know, i'm one of the 1% of millionaires that are under 35, i think i have the advantage."  

he giggles. "oh god, that was unbelievable. where did she even get those numbers from?"

"i have no idea but it was just… painful to watch. i'm gonna need a breath of fresh air after that."

he nods in agreement and you both walk towards the nearby balcony.  you step outside, the breeze whipping your hair all over the place and leaving goosebumps on your skin.

"you know," he begins before silence can settle upon you two for too long. "i was really hoping there would be someone around my age here tonight. and i don't know if you usually come to these things or if you don't but either way, i am so glad you're here."

this comment reminds you of the way he had stared you down upon arriving and it makes your face feel a little warm despite the cool air of the night. "'cause i'm the only thing standing between you and a wonderful night with yuna."  

"oh i'm sure it would've been real wonderful." he gives you a 'yeah right' look. "we couldn't even hang around each other for more than five minutes, i'm positive it would've been a long night."

you nod. "every night with her is. usually she's the only person i end up talking to at these things and let me just say, i think she's more money-hungry than all the men in there combined."

chenle whistles, lowly. "combined? that's dangerous."

"yeah, she takes after daddy," you mutter, picking at your nail polish that has begun to peel.

"what a relief you don't," he says. "or else i think i would have thrown myself off this balcony by now."

"well, you don't have to worry about that. you and i are on the same boat. money doesn't interest me all that much. definitely not to that extent."

"what does interest you?" chenle asks, turning his attention to you instead of the city lights in the distance.

you shrug. "i haven't figured it out yet. i'm too busy trying to be perfect. and i have a long way to go. just ask my dad, he seems to have really strong opinions on the matter."

"oh, i get it," he says. "you're so focused on being the perfect daughter that you haven't figured out what's going on in there." he wiggles his finger around your forehead.

"i just… want to make him happy. i want to see him smile because of me. even if 'me' is that daughter he expects me to be. i'm okay with being her. i'll take it."

chenle furrows his eyebrows and suddenly he doesn't seem to get it anymore. "you really... become an entirely different person? just for him? i mean, you seem like a good daughter. i don't understand that, y/n."

"and you won't understand, chenle," you respond. "because your dad loves you. he lets you wear your edgy clothes to business parties and doesn't worry about what everyone else is gonna think. he doesn't worry about first impressions, he doesn't force you to become someone else for strangers. he doesn't put any business deal above you. he doesn't chose his job over you, chenle and that's great. i'm so happy that's not the case with you. but it is for me. and when you know that the only time your dad is going to want anything to do with you is when you can help him make a quick buck or good impression, you resort to facades and doing anything you can to make him appreciate you. just a little."

chenle's arms envelop your shivering figure before you can say another word. his hands run up and down your arms and his chin rests atop your head. he inhales deeply, taking in your wonderful scent. he knows it's probably some off the wall expensive perfume.

"i'm so sorry, y/n," he mumbles into your coconut scented locks. "i'm sorry that you have to do that and that i won't ever be able to understand it. you just deserve… so much more than that. do you realize how true that must be for a boy you just met today to see it? and it breaks my heart that your own father doesn't because you really shouldn't have to suffer through that. he doesn't have his priorities straight but that shouldn't be an excuse for him to neglect his own daughter." he detaches from you so he can look directly into your glossy eyes, holding you at an arm's length away.  "and he has no idea what he's missing out on, y/n. you're so headstrong, so humble and so much more than just a pretty face or someone's daughter. and if he can't treat you like the incredible individual you are then...." he exhales and you catch his breath blow in the air. "then please let me."

your bottom lip is quivering. you had never heard such nice words. and you don't have the slightest idea what he means by that last bit but you still nod and jump right back into his arms. because you have decided that's where you feel safest. where you can be yourself, freely and unapologetically.

"the second i walked in this place, i hated it," he mumbles and a laugh escapes your lips. "but then i saw you. and it got a little better. then i met you. and it got a lot better. we just met but i already can't seem to get enough of you, y/n." he chuckles as if he can't believe it himself. "you must be something really special. and i have the privilege of seeing that."

you move away from his chest and look up at him. your hands thread through his tufts of hair that match the darkness of the night sky. his hands stay planted firmly at his waist. you feel like he has no intention of letting go. you would be lying if you said you did either. and neither of you seem to have a problem with it.

"i can't wait for you to finally feel what it's like to be treated how you deserve. and i can't wait to be the guy to show you. i am so, so lucky."

you smile, your teeth on display. "i'm actually so glad i came tonight. that is definitely a first."

he laughs. "speaking of firsts..." he trails off, shyly.

you raise a brow, just to tease him a bit. "what are you getting at, mr. zhong?"

he knows you're joking yet his heart pounds as he leans in and asks for permission to kiss you. "may i, ms. l/n?"

"you may," you respond, meeting him halfway.

[mst3kproject]

The Atomic Submarine

I’ve had this one sitting around for a while. It’s a pretty dull 1950’s White Men vs the Saucer People movie, which attempts to differentiate itself from the crowd by taking place underwater instead of in outer space.  It features Brett Halsey from The Girl in Lover’s Lane and a few moments of Jean Moorhead from The Violent Years, and has parts for Jack Mulhall and Paul Dubov from The She-Creature.

It is… the future.  The US and the USSR are friends now, and passenger submarines regularly run between the two under the polar ice!  But all is not well – the USS Sturgeon, largest of this arctic fleet, suffers a reactor meltdown somewhere just shy of the North Pole, resulting in the loss of all hands.  The Pentagon convenes some guys in suits, and decides to send another submarine, the Tiger Shark, to figure out what happened.  When the Tiger Shark encounters a mysterious electrical phenomenon, their scientists conclude that the only possible answer is creatures from outer space!

I seem to be making a tradition out of starting with the shitty science, so here’s a good one: the Flying Saucer’s source of power is stated to be magnetic – that’s why it has to return to the North Pole every time it sinks a ship, to recharge.  Except… that’s not how the magnetic field works.  In the late fifties and early sixties, the north magnetic pole was somewhere near the southern end of Bathurst Island in Nunavut (as of 2020, it’s on its way into Siberia and is actually closer to geographic north than it’s been in centuries).  Sailors would definitely know that, making this plot point kind of hilarious to anybody actually in the navy.

I mentioned Moorhead… she and Joi Lansing (who was once in a movie called Queen of Outer Space) are the only women in the entire movie.  They occur in the same scene, which seems to serve only to remind us that women exist, and have no effect on the plot whatsoever.  Once we’ve entered the submarine where most of the film is set, the cast is entirely similar-looking guys in uniforms, and there are no romantic reunions at the end.  The Atomic Submarine couldn’t even give us the requisite 50’s movie Cute Girl Scientist.  I guess they were going for realism in their story about trans-arctic Soviet passenger subs and one-eyed semi-aquatic aliens.

On to the actual movie.  The first ‘character’ we hear from is the deep-voiced 50’s narrator, who sounds exactly like the guy rhapsodizing about radar at the beginning of The Deadly Mantis, but I looked him up and Patrick Michaels has never narrated any other movie.  I guess there’s just a category of men that have 50’s Movie Narrator Voice. His job is to sound portentous as he talks about things that are either irrelevant or else stuff the movie could have showed us but chose to tell instead.  He falls silent for long stretches of movie and then pops up again, interrupting the flow of the story every time.

The special effects in The Atomic Submarine are okay – they’re nothing ground-breaking, but considerable effort seems to have gone into them.  The saucer and the submarines are obviously small models but they’re nice and the underwater photography is quite atmospheric.  I especially like the little submersible the Tiger Shark carries, the Lungfish, which was clearly designed based on ideas for such machines that were in the works at the time.  There’s a shot of the saucer breaking through the ice cap and rising into the air which looks really good until the saucer itself actually emerges, wobbling on top of a rod.  The one-eyed alien inside the saucer is nice and gooey and parts of it look like they’re made out of living sea creatures.

Like many movies on MST3K, The Atomic Submarine has some germs of good ideas in it, and like the rest of them, fails to do anything much with it.  The flying saucer – maybe we should call it a swimming saucer – is described as a living organism, possibly the same organism as its pilot.  The aliens themselves are biological engineers who will use humans as a template for altering themselves to live on Earth.  That’s pretty cool, but is ultimately not important to the plot. Besides the pilot, who seems to have been assembled by a variety of marine organisms, the inside of the saucer doesn’t look particularly organic.  If nothing else they had an opportunity for some really neat visuals here, but let it slip through their fingers.

The alien intelligence remains unseen and inscrutable for much of the movie.  This theoretically builds suspense but there’s honestly not a lot of suspense here. A plot summary makes The Atomic Submarine sound like an exciting adventure, but the impression one gets from actually watching the film is that it’s kind of a day at the office.  In a way, that’s fairly realistic – the crew of the Tiger Shark aren’t a ragtag group of misfits, they’re professionals doing their jobs which just so happen on this particular day to include saving the world.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t make for a very exciting movie.  An awful lot of scenes are just suspenseful music over footage of men in uniforms frowning at things.  Rather than feeling any excitement, the audience just wants to get to the damn aliens already.

The movie’s only about half over by the time we do enter the swimming saucer to meet the one-eyed, tentacled beast within, but it feels like we’ve been here for hours.  Once the boarding party enters the craft, some things do happen but they’re still not exciting.  Three of the four men die, one by being cut in half by a sliding door and two getting melted by intense radiation – these deaths are surprisingly explicit and gruesome for a 50’s movie, but they’re drawn out far too long and don’t serve a plot purpose.  If the alien killed the men to stop them cutting the Tiger Shark free of where it rammed the vessel’s hull, that would be one thing, but it appears to do it just because.

The main characters all sort of look the same, as lumpy-faced white guys in old movies tend to do.  The only one who really stands out from the crowd is Dr. Nielson, the son of the scientist who invented the Lungfish and an avowed pacifist who’s only on this mission because he knows his father wanted to see the sub used.  He has a running beef with an old friend of his father’s who thinks he’s a coward, all talk and no action.  This is supposed to be the movie’s main arc and yet it fails to go anywhere on just about every level.

Neilson spends much of the movie insisting that he isn’t a coward, which one would assume is a lead-up to him doing something heroic.  It’s not. He’s just here to drive the Lungfish and that’s literally the only thing he does – he takes the boarding party to the saucer, and then sits there and waits for the sole survivor to return.  There’s a bit where the captain of the Tiger Shark decides to ram the saucer with the sub in order to get through its defenses, and Neilson speaks up, pointing out that this is a suicide mission.  Nothing ever comes of this, and it might be evidence of his ‘cowardice’ but I’m not sure… the movie is not nearly as interested in his character as it ought to be.  At the end he seems to have decided that war is cool after all… or maybe the guy he was arguing about has agreed that we need to set aside war with other humans in order to focus on war with aliens.  It’s very unclear.

If there’s a regular passenger service between Alaska and Siberia, doesn’t that suggest that in this future we’ve already set aside war with other humans?  I’m not sure this movie thought very hard about its worldbuilding.

In fact, watching the ending I don’t even know if the guy Neilson talks to at the end was the same man he was arguing with earlier, because, as I mentioned, the actors all look similar. Until that final conversation I thought the other dude had died aboard the saucer and honestly I’m still not convinced he didn’t.  What mainly makes me doubt the idea is that it would mean there’s no closure to the feud at all, which would be the height of poor writing.  I’ve seen movies where I would buy that they were just that careless, but other aspects of The Atomic Submarine are competent enough that I want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

So what does this movie want us to think about war and the military?  It certainly suggests that they’re necessary, since after all we have aliens to defend ourselves from.  One of the scientists on board is British and another has what I think is supposed to be a Russian accent, so perhaps its extolling the virtues of international cooperation.  This would fit with Neilson’s statements about how we need to leave war behind, but if that’s the movie’s point it hobbles itself by never talking about it in that light.

This is all made that much more annoying because, as I said, the effects are decent, the cinematography is pretty good, and while none of the actors are stellar they all do their best.  There’s no real reason why The Atomic Submarine had to be so dull and messy, unless they were just saddled with a half-assed script. Even then, they made a pretty good effort to get some gold out of the dross.  You might find The Atomic Submarine worth watching even if only to think about what might have been.

[pop-goes-the-sneasel]

How about luxray?

Luxray!!!!!!!

Luxray’s a lion lad that just EXUDES coolness. Its dark, contrasting colour scheme feels unique yet appropriate for an Electric-type, and it still maintains the subtle Leo constellation theme it had as a Shinx with the star-tipped tail. The stripes are neat and break up the design in an interesting way, and the jagged mane and fur contribute nicely to its silhouette. Its eyes in particular are quite striking, giving it some very intense vibes that make it feel quite fearsome.

These eyes are notable, as Luxray is known as the Gleam Eyes Pokemon: its conceptual gimmick is X-ray vision! Luxray can see through solid objects, an ability it has numerous uses for: it can track down hiding prey, find lost young, and scout for potential danger. Interestingly, use of this ability drains its electricity, and it needs to sleep for extended periods to recharge. Describing the ability’s power source as electricity is neat, as it implies the ability actually does work like an X-ray by using electromagnetic radiation, but I’m not sure that would actually work since light needs to reflect back to the eye for objects to be perceived and if you’re just shooting radiation out of your eyes that goes through everything then it can’t really bounce back. Maybe just a little bit bounces back, enough to see? Hm.

But yeah, for real, Luxray is INTENSE. It’s actually the third-most-popular Sinnoh pokemon according to the Pokemon of the Year poll, and always had a very strong reception amongst fans. Because of Shinx’s early availability and the line’s cohesive three-stage evolution pattern, the Luxray line has to me always felt like honorary starter pokemon for the Electric-type, a fact seemingly referenced by Shinx’s playability in the Mystery Dungeon series. If Luxray WERE a starter, it might actually be my favourite of all of them!

Shiny Luxray thankfully keeps shiny Shinx’s golden colour scheme, producing an even more striking effect with Luxray’s higher proportion of black in its design. It does unfortunately drown out the eyes a bit, which maybe should’ve been blue or something to maximise the contrast, but it’s not that big of a deal. Definitely in the higher tier of shinies still.

Overall, I adore Luxray. With an absolutely stellar design and concept, Luxray’s one of my favourite Electric-types and it deserves all the popularity it has. Frankly, though, it should be even MORE popular!!! It’s just so cool!!! I mean, look at it!!!!!!

Lovely lightning lion/10.