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metaphoricalmusings · 6 months ago

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portland trip notes

big long word dump!

aug 20 we headed out on the road after loading up the car drove for about 1.5 hours and stopped at a starbucks, charged the car up back on the road passed into oregon state and took at picture at the sign stopped at yreka junction for dinner (taco bell), and went to walmart. we bought grapes at walmart (very yummy). my crunchwrap supreme was not crunchy at all, i was super disappointed. arrived at our accommodation for the evening around 7pm. it’s a cozy mountain lodge. after we moved everything into the room, we went out for a short walk to check out the premises and golden hour. then we retired back to the room. I had a call with miko to talk about his role as a TD and took a bunch of notes before we went to bed.

aug 21 we have breakfast at the lodge (made waffles! very crispy. i hurt my gums eating them) we also tried the jacuzzi in our room, however, the jets did not work :( on our way out I sniped some firewood tinder for our camping night later in the trip. drove a short scenic path along the cascade siskiyou national monument. stopped at various points to take some photos. we dropped off stuff at our airbnb, then drove down to revolution hall to pick up our badges. checked out the vibes in the park and dropped things off into the car before walking over to dinner. we got ramen for dinner at toya ramen, justin and I swapped bowls because I ended up preferring his broth. i got a highball which was quite yummy. we shared a hojicha dessert.

aug 23 I woke up super early again, started working on my sf zine fest illustration. at 7am when Justin woke up we walked over to Twisted Croissant and got croissants for breakfast (they were extremely delicious but also really pricey……. a ham and cheese croissant was $10 lol). it was drizzling a bit but not too bad. at 9am I took the netflix call with dan (hiring manager) in the airbnb and it went really well even though my internet cut out twice. got an email that they want to move forward with the process, and so have the panel interview scheduled for the following week. we go to the conference and get seats in the auditorium for the opening talk. It’s pretty short, and then everyone heads outside and we’re just kind of wandering around different tables. sat for a few of the indie media circus talks in the tent. we went to dos hermanos bakery to get sandwiches for lunch which supposedly are “life changing”. they were humongous. i got a half sandwich and Justin got a whole one and it was like 2 feet long lol. very tasty and fresh and after some discussion we did agree that it was indeed life changing. I drop by the visual art meet up at a brewery, then justin and I catch up with the photography meet up. It started raining a lot so then we sheltered in a brewery that happened to be next to where the filmmaking meetup was. We went to check it out and funnily enough I bumped into a girl that was a story artist who was already following me on instagram. for dinner we go to the food truck cluster near revolution hall and get stuff from a mexican truck. justin got a quesadilla and I got tacos. they tasted ok (justin’s quesadilla cheese ratio was way off— too much cheese, not enough meat). unfortunately I think there was something not right about the food and it didn’t sit well for either of our stomachs. we’re sitting at the table playing the royal game of ur when justin’s friend swings by with a pup and they chat some and I find out about cult flav which is interesting then we head in for the side show talks, small bu animation (really neat), pudding.cool (justin missed this whole talk bc he was having shits as a result of the quesadilla) and then we went into the car for a nap before going back in for every frame a painting. I dozed off during the debut of their short film but anyway. we headed back to the airbnb after that.

aug 24 i literally called it the day before, but turns out the ppl staying the airbnb unit above us were also xoxo attendees lol. i had actually met them at the visual arts meetup—they’re a couple and also doing long distance where the guy lives in sf and the girl lives in….mexico?? not sure how thats gonna work out but yea.. anyway on day two we slept in a bit, then headed over to rev hall and justin got a steak breakfast sandwich at meat cheese and bread. I picked up coffee and a chai latte for justin at a vegan cafe nearby. they offered coconut milk as an option so I tried it, but didn’t really taste the difference in the latte. we did some walking around and chatting with folks, then went in for the afternoon session of talks. in the afternoon, I get a tamale and we sit down with a random girl at a picnic table to eat and chat. she turns out to be slightly a dud but then a guy named sam grover that we met at the photo meet up sat down and said hi. he turned out to be a super experienced ios developer so I was egging Justin on to ask him questions (free advice!!!) Eventually we head inside for the talks. It’s mostly talks for the afternoon, all of which are excellent. I felt genuinely moved and am already excited to rewatch some of them. After everything wrapped up I was pretty tired—this whole thing is just a lot of socializing and I feel like I was still ramping back up after being literally in the mountains not really talking to anyone except our 8 person trek group so it was exhausting. I skipped on dinner and just chilled in the car for a bit while Justin went to eat with his friends. He brought me some food which was really nice and super tasty (kimchi mac n cheese and korean fried chicken) I was just rotting in the car with no real plans to leave but then Justin texted me that he was standing next to Tony and Taylor (Every Frame a Painting)!! it would be my last chance to say hi to them and tell him that the YouTube video they made were something I referenced a lot in my art career transition journey. taylor and I talked for quite a bit and we followed each other on IG. i was really happy lol

aug 25 - check out day

i woke up early again (last dredges of jet lag) but after doing some online research about what we should do with our last half day in Portland, i decided that we had to go see the Columbia river gorge. Unfortunately that is a 30 min drive in the opposite direction that we are headed to after. which means that we just had to get the day started nice and early!!! Justin got up and we packed everything and were out of the airbnb by 9am or so. ate some of the chicken we had as leftovers, then we grabbed a croissant for the road and started driving east. it’s perfect weather and the scenery is great. our first stop is vista house at crown point where we get out and take some photos, enjoy the view. then we drove in to latourell falls where there’s a short hike to a waterfall. unfortunately I took us up down the wrong path so we were hiking uphill for a bit with absolutely no views lol but justin got some nice photos of plants. Eventually I realized we were going the wrong way so we turned back and go on the right track. You could walk up to the base where the water was hitting the rocks, it was actually quite cool. After that, we headed back into town, stopping to charge at the Columbia river outlets supercharger. Also got Starbucks. Justin’s chai latte tasted like diabetes in a cup We drove to Powell’s in downtown and checked out the bookstore (huge!!!) and then walked to a food truck area and got katsu sandwiches for lunch. popped into a blick store and got some art supplies bc no sales tax in Oregon so why not 🤑 at this point it’s around 4pm ish and we finally roll out of Portland towards tillamook. After about 2 hours of driving, we’re at tillamook cheese factory and we charge the car, go in the museum and taste some cheese. We also get ice cream and a grilled cheese. justin gets some souvenirs, I pick up a postcard. There were a lot of cows around which Justin took some photos of before we drove out. It’s golden hour at this point and the lighting is insane everything looks so good. We stop in a little town and snap some shots. It totally makes you romanticize small town life in Oregon. After 2 more hours of driving we arrive at our hotel for the night (agate beach best western). Unfortunately we did not get a room with a beach front view but it’s ok bc we have plenty of ocean views coming later anyway.

aug 26 I wake up early and plan the day. At 10am we go get breakfast at chalet bakery & restaurant, which is this nice little old school diner near the hotel. I got pancakes, eggs and hash browns, Justin got bacon, eggs, and a waffle. afterwards we dropped by the Walmart next door and got more grapes / last minute camping things. packed the car and back on the road, I called to check atv reservations for later in the day. drove about 40 min to Thor’s well and looked at the tide pools. Did not see anything interesting aside from a lot of barnacle and some mussels. Thor’s well itself was really cool, Justin and I got real close to take a photo but then of course a giant wave happens to come at the moment and splash us both. Then when we’re heading back to the path, Justin jumps down from a rock directly into water somehow and soaks his shoes lol. at around 4pm we arrive at the Oregon sand dunes and sign up to do an atv ride. the whole process to get all set up with paperwork, safety training and gear takes about 45 min. the whole time during it they keep stressing how dangerous it is and how its an extreme sport and how you can back out at any time no hard feelings. I kept looking over at Justin to see whether or not we would back out but he sat there stony faced. Low key I was scared lol I was not trying to tip over and get seriously hurt. But anyway we went out and it was a fine experience. Weather again is exceptional and the dunes are beautiful. Personally don’t think I would do it again but glad we tried it. Then we get back on the road and start driving to the campsite. I am a little annoyed bc we stop to get McDonalds and try to charge but the super charger lot is blocked off bc they were repaving it. We end up having to stop at another place and sit and wait for the charging. By the time we get to the camp site it’s dark and we have to set everything up at night. It goes pretty well though - justin’s air mattress turned out to be king sized and fills up literally the entire tent. The stars are actually incredible. You can see the whole Milky Way.

aug 27 In the morning I wake up and I make a fire for us to roast marshmallows over. i also toasted some of my leftover chicken mcnuggies (very yum) We go for a short hike to the beach which is close by to the camp site. spend some time watching the seagulls, saw this super cool moment where a seagulls dove into the water and came out with a whole starfish in its mouth!!!

there are a bunch of wild marionberry bushes around the campground and after confirming with a park ranger that it’s safe to eat, we tried it. very sour. I wanted to gather more but Justin said no…

we leave the campgrounds around 12:30pm and continue driving down towards california. we stopped at natural bridges (lol) and started hiking down to it but the path to the bridge itself was super dangerous and had signs that said DO NOT GO. back on the road, we made a stop at oregon’s tallest bridge and did a hike down to try and see a whole view of it. both justin and I peed on this hike in the woods and turns out it didn’t really have a good view of the bridge after all. but there was a beautiful abandoned beach at the end. Around 3pm we make a stop for late lunch and to charge the car in crescent city. had an incredibly dank burrito - soo good and the restaurant staff were super friendly. we keep driving and get to eureka around 7pm. After checking in the hotel and dropping off everything in the room we go for a little walk outside to see the sunset over the water. Sunset is just ok.

aug 28 - last day on the road! In the morning I wake up early and drive the car across the street to the supercharger and walk back. we eat breakfast at the hotel, then pack everything and I get the car back from the charger and we head out. first stop is the Rockefeller loop in Humboldt redwoods state park. we drive down the avenue of the giants on the way down and it’s actually gorgeous. Weather is divine and the light is totally giving. the Rockefeller loop is super pretty and peaceful, the kind of walk that you feel like you have to be quiet in. Except then we realized mosquitos were buzzing around us so we were like YOWZA and we speed walked it out of there really fast. kind of a bummer because it was so beautiful and we would have loved to spend more time there but justin and I are both really tasty so the mosquitoes would have eaten us up.

Back on the road after that and it’s mostly a straight shot down to SF. We make one stop to charge in a city called Ukiah. Got in n out for lunch and then back to driving. We arrive home at 4:35pm. Yay!

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im-abanana · 3 years ago

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Professor Grindelwald!AU headcanons (part 3)

(part 1, part 2)

- Sometimes, after an exam, Grindelwald randomly divides the papers in two neat piles on his desk, right in front of the students. Then, he touches one of the piles and prophesies: "Yes, I do foresee a lot of very unsuccessful grades and ignorance, in these ones.";

- Also, during the exam itself, he likes to quietly stare at what his students are writing down, then grimace visibly (especially when the answers are absolutely correct), and leave with a disappointed shake of his head and click of tongue, just to send them into a crisis;

- Albus and Gellert correct quizzes together and, thanks to Dumbledore's persuasion and good influence, Grindelwald's students begin to score (slightly) higher grades;

- Grindelwald would be very open about his and Albus' relationship, while the latter would be more cautious, and not willing to attract unnecessary attention. Despite his resolve, though, GG and AD would often be seen walking arm-in-arm in the corridors;

- Gellert would be the most physically affectionate of the two;

- On the other hand, Albus would talk non-stop about that man, to the point of being annoying. "Gellert and I" this, "Gellert and I" that (like in the movie), while everyone else- especially Minerva- would be like "🙄";

- When Dumbledore proposes to dine at the Hog's Head Inn, Grindelwald and Aberforth's first meeting goes like this, pretty much;

- Gellert is a very early bird, he wakes up at the crack of dawn, despite any lack of sleep. Albus likes to sleep in a bit more, usually;

- The morning after they sleep together for the first time, Grindelwald wakes up first and sneaks out.

When Albus does eventually wake up, he finds a lavender flower and a note on the pillow:

Dear Albus,

sorry I did not wake you up, but you looked so peaceful in your sleep, and I couldn't bring myself to disturb such a spectacle.

Worry not about your Defence Against Dark Arts morning class, I will take care of it for you.

I hope to see you after lesson, I would love to take you out for breakfast to that nice, quiet little bakery you so enjoy.

My treat, of course.

Yours, Gellert.

- Gellert accomplishes two things that morning: 1) asks AD on their first, official date, 2) is finally able to teach, at least for that morning, DADA ("couldn't bring myself to disturb you", my ass. Bitch move, but it's still Grindelwald we're talking about lol);

(slightly nsfw under the cut)

- Grindelwald is usually the one who tops, but sometimes they switch. Every time they do that, GG and AD are like:

- "Sometimes, I can still imagine it around my neck.", yeah, asphyxiation kink for Grindr-wald over there. Sorry, I do not make the rules, nor accept criticism on this;

(Random meme found in my gallery. Picture not mine, of course)

- Praise kink for Dumbledore, bc that twink deserves all the praise;

- Gellert and Albus often sneak out of their personal chambers (GG more than AD) in the middle of the night, just to visit one another. They're worse than teenagers;

- McGonagall officially finds out about their relationship when, one day, she knocks on Albus' door, and Gellert's head cheekily pokes out instead, like "can I help you?";

- Minerva (and the other professors) sometimes finds one of their rooms empty, so they politely ask them to just pick a damn chamber to sleep-in together, so that they can both be found, if they're needed;

- So, obviously, Gellert invites himself in Dumbledore's chambers.

#grindeldore #gellert grindelwald #albus dumbledore #gellert x albus #fantastic beasts: the secrets of dumbledore #fbtsod #fbawtft3 #professor grindelwald au #headcanons

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flurgburgler · 3 years ago

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how long did it take you to grow your pixie cut out? i've been growing mine for nearly seven months maybe and i can't see a difference :'(

I started growing mine out last December, so 10 months ago, and I feel ya. It felt like mine was the same length forever, or only the back of it was growing but not the sides, or the sides were growing but not the top, but give it until the end of the year at least and at some point you’ll realise it’s just longer.

(this prompted me to look over photos of my short hair so here’s a little hair journey for you lol)

Here's how my hair looked back in 2020 when I last cut it

you can’t really tell bc I was busy enjoying this moody Welsh lighting but it’s buzzed on the sides so I had a lot of growing to do.

Flash forward to March and it was all over the place

The sides were that awkward length where they were greasy all the time, so I tied it up with various scarves, and I only stopped doing that a couple of weeks ago (it was cute????) Usually I’d just take a pair of scissors and trim off anything that was poking out of the scarf at the bottom. I’m v DIY about hair and luckily mine’s curly so it’s not as noticeable when I don’t do a very neat job.

Best advice I can give you is Be Gay and then everything about your look is a high fashion choice.

This was a rare non-scarf day in June:

the sides had grown out and it was super curly but it still definitely felt like short hair to me

this was from September, so last month:

(sorry these are all huji app photos lmaoooooo just trying to find pictures of myself from the side)

you can see there was a lot of hair, but I was pushing it all forward with my scarf every day so I didn’t really think about how long it was actually getting. I kept thinking damn this has been the same length for months what’s the matter with it, until I decided to experiment with a side parting just to see what it looked like

this was last week and I couldn’t believe how long it had gotten! it definitely still has some growing to do in the front, but after 7 years of super short hair I really like how different it feels, and I don’t plan to grow it much longer than this anyway. yesterday I took some of the weight out of the back and added some layers and it looks pretty cute if I do say so myself.

I really hate those online “tutorials” for growing out pixie cuts where they just tell you you’re just gonna look bad for a full year but you still need to go to the salon and get your hair shaped every month or you’ll somehow look even worse. you’re not going to look bad you’re going to look like a normal ass person and everyone else is too busy living through a global pandemic to notice. I think it’s best to just…not think about it. just get on with your life and in a few months you’ll realise it’s done.

thanks for coming to my ted talk xx

#don't r3blog or I'll come to your house and lick all the food in your fridge #face tag

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cozmic-ash · 3 years ago

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First off, I love your Butch Hartman video I can never stop using it as background noise when I'm in the middle of drawing anything and it's why I followed your tumblr. Second, I wanted to ask about detailed character designs cause I want to to do more mechanical/robotic kinds of characters but it seems to clash hard with basic character design philosophy. How do I figure out what to and what not to include when it comes to designing robotic characters somewhere between cartoony and detailed?

omg for real? that's actually pretty weird to think about LOL someone putting my video on in the background. Not weird in a bad way at all, just not something I’ve ever thought about! I'm flattered gjgjhgjh and glad you like it

as for the question, I'm honestly not SUPER sure? I honestly don't think I'm that great of a character designer lol, like I'm much better at catching what does and doesn't work in other pre-existing designs, but my own character designs are pretty boring and milquetoast imo lol

I'm especially bad with detailed character designs, but I do think a couple things can be helpful here:

1) look at other mech/robot designs and see what they do! When I'm designing characters I almost ALWAYS look up references for inspiration (especially bc I'm unimaginative and bad at designing characters lmao, so the jumpstart is needed); a couple months ago I was playing around with designing a centaur girl, and I know I want to use her for a world that's post-apocalyptic, semi-fantastical/magical in nature (she's, y'know, a centaur, and characters can use magic channeled through staves, so her weapon has to double as one), and takes place in the desert. I also had like..... sad goth cowboy brainrot because I'd been listening to a lot of Lord Huron's Long Lost album lmao

So I googled a shitload of those words, alone and in combination, to see what other folks had done for similar ideas! I also had to look up images of horses bc I'd never drawn horse anatomy before, and also had to look up how saddles worked, bc my centaur girl is saddled up for her non-centaur girlfriend to hitch a ride lol. And then I stole borrowed all those ideas, and this is what popped out:

Is she, yknow, the BEST?????? Idk probably not. But I like how she turned out, and she wouldn't have turned out nearly as okay-looking if I hadn't looked up shitloads of references for what other people did and used that as inspiration!

Anyway. uh. not to just like shove my art and personal anecdotes in your face, but I'm not very coherent right now lol, I apologize. I hope I'm at least illustrating my point okay

BASICALLY UH, look at a shitload of other folks' art and see what they did. There is no shame as an artist in stealing like, aspects and little pieces of other designs and ideas, so long as you're not like, plagiarizing an entire fuckin character and/or idea and passing it off as your own. Take inspiration and details and ideas, and then put your own imagination to work

2) I think even in detailed character designs, more fundamental elements of character design can still apply! Even if a character is heavily detailed, you can still use value, color, and other elements to pull attention to areas of a character you want the eye to focus on (usually things like face and hands). I think a really neat example of this is the Vex from Destiny

The Vex (on the right lol) are mechanical enemies, so, a little confusing to parse at first glance even though they're humanoid. Their weakpoint is also NOT their head, as you might expect from a humanoid enemy, but rather (usually) their stomach. Thus, they're designed so that their stomach glows a very eye-catching and easy-to-aim-at warm white color, while the rest of their glowy bits are more subdued (usually moreso than in this picture) and cooler in color. The rest of their design, while very detailed and VERY neat, is pretty monochrome and dark so as not to distract from the Big Glowy Weakpoint

ofc, not every character design is going to want to emphasize a weakpoint lmao, but I think the idea is still sound and easily transferable. If your entire character is detailed, and especially if you're going with more of an alien/nonhumanoid shape, value and color are really useful ways of pulling attention to areas that you want to bring attention to

Not to pick on Butch Hartman again lmao, but since it was my BH video that brought you here, and it's SO easy to use him as an example..........

Look at her again........ Misery Vex (I just realized we have a theme going with this word) really isn't a detailed character design. She has...... a lot going on? But she's not.... SUPER detailed. Even simple character designs can be dumpster fires when the person designing them doesn't know what the fuck they're doing lol

The problem with Misery Vex isn't that she's highly detailed, it's that Butch doesn't understand how to lead the eye. Everything is the same value, some of the details that she DOES have don't add anything to the design (functionally, artistically, or to tell us anything about her as a character), the other details are extremely on-the-nose (like, we get it, she's a spider). Hyper-limited color pallets CAN work, but it doesn't work here at all because of all the other problems

And again, like I said in my video, the only place he DIDN'T add any sort of detail of any kind, in an otherwise highly-detailed piece, is her crotch, so the eye kind of automatically defaults to resting there. It’s a problem of not understanding how to use design principles to lead the eye

And the problem is that this isn't easily fixable lol. like, the ENTIRE design has to be reimagined to make it work. Trying to fix one aspect, like the overly obvious spider imagery, just makes the bad color pallet stand out more. Trying to fix the values just makes the extraneous details look weird and makes the colors muddy

So it’s not that the problem is Misery Vex being highly detailed, it's that her design is flawed in a VERY fundamental way. In many, many fundamental ways

To uhhhhhhhhhh... get back on point lol......... I think, again, looking at what other artists/shows/games/etc have done for mechs/robotic characters and asking whether you think they're effective designs, and whether you think they're aesthetically pleasant, and why or why not. What is your eye drawn to when you look at it? Do they do anything neat or interesting to draw your eye? Are they easy to parse despite their detail, or are they just a jumbled mess that your eye jumps all over, and if the latter, what would you have done differently to focus the design?

TL;DR I think that fundamental character design principles (shape, silhouette, color, value, probably others that I'm forgetting) can still be SUPER useful to keep in mind even when creating heavily detailed characters, you just might have to shift how you think about them, if that makes sense!

(Also again, thank u sm for the kind words and I'm glad you enjoyed the video)

(also also if anyone better at character design than me wants to chime in in the notes or reblogs, absolutely feel free to go buckwild)

#I hope this makes sense lol I'm so sorry #this is about the best ur gonna get out of me rn #skella answers #long post #anonymous #sorry everyone for making u look at misery vex again

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hopelesshawks · 3 years ago

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Congratulations on your milestone!! That’s amazing! 💚

I’d love to get a match up, pls! I’m the textbook definition of a virgo and an INFJ. I’m an introvert who loves staying in rather than going out, bordering on hermit-like, and I need my space to be neat and tidy. My hobbies are writing, drawing, video games, and horror movies, and when I find a new fixation, I dive in completely, gripped by this new piece of media or character til it’s all I think about. I’m great at starting things, but not so great at finishing them.

I’m rather reserved around people I don’t know well, but once I’m comfortable around someone I come out of my shell. I love making people laugh and I can’t help but make the raunchiest jokes. Everyone thinks I’m this sweet soft spoken person until they get to know me, and then realize that’s only half my personality, the other half being lewd and salty 24/7 lol.

But I love with my whole heart and tend to fall quickly, which clouds my judgement and makes me make bad decisions. I love romance stories in fiction, but I’m also on the aro spectrum, which complicates things bc I’m not always good at returning romantic gestures. My love languages are touch, quality time, & words of affirmation, and I’m better at subtle affection. I just want someone to take care of me but also give me my space when I need it.

I hope that’s a good amount of info, I never know what to include lol. Thank you in advance and congratulations again! 💚

Thank you for submitting and for the congratulations ❤️ I’m sorry I took so long to get to this! In retrospect starting my event in the middle of a trip was not the smartest move but what can I say I got excited 💀 but I’m back now and ready to match you up!

I match you with Bakugo Katsuki. This may be cheating because you do have a Bakugo icon rn but I thought of him pretty immediately while reading your description. As loud and obnoxious as Bakugo can be he’s not really the party type and would be very content getting to sit at home with you instead of being around a bunch of “extras” he doesn’t really care about. He’s pretty type A so I can imagine he keeps his space neat and tidy like you like to, and he’d vibe with your hobbies, especially video games (to appease his competitive side) and horror movies (to prove how tough he is, the dork).

Bakugo’s love languages are probably acts of service and words of affirmation, so the overlap works well and it definitely fits into your want for someone who will take care of you but not smother you. Bakugo understands the importance of space and having time with your own head and thoughts, so he’d be good at giving you that while also making sure you’re well taken care of.

I know nobody rents DVDs anymore bc Netflix and other streaming services but bear with me, the idea came to mind and wouldn’t leave 😩

You’re pretty deeply buried into your latest drawing when your phone pings with a text. You wait until you’ve reached a good stopping point before setting the drawing aside and reaching for your phone to find Bakugo’s contact name waiting for you. You swipe the notification open with a smile, only to be greeted by a picture of a DVD in his hands followed by the little dots showing he’s typing. Shortly afterwards your phone pings again with another message.

Ain’t this that stupid horror movie you were tellin me about the other day?

You chuckle at the message, pleasantly surprised he’d remembered. You know you’d rambled a little bit when you’d been telling him about it and had assumed he’d pretty much tuned you out. You quickly send him a text back.

Yep, that’s it. Surprised you remembered

The response is immediate.

Of course I remembered dumbass, I’m not an idiot

You roll your eyes. As much as Bakugo has mellowed out over the years since you first met him when he was just starting as a pro, some things will never change. You’re about to type out a response when you get another message from him instead.

Want me to rent it and come over? I’ll even let you talk through the movie to explain shit if ya want

You smile, touched at the offer, firing off one last response before returning to your drawing until he arrives.

Sounds perfect, I’ll see you soon. Love you

You don’t see his response back immediately but that’s ok. He knows you’ll see it eventually and when you do he hopes it’ll make you smile.

I love you too dumbass. Really glad you’re mine

General Taglist: @ahtsuwu @oikawaandkuroostan @larkspyrr @002opdestiny @black-rose-29 @touyasdollmain @izukiss @moonstormmyuna @fleeinghawks @dnarez @mandalorian-baby-bird

#hawks hits 600 #hhrequests

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yikesharringrove · 5 years ago

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I both really want to read a conversion camp fic and really fucking DONT lol but I trust you to do it well and not absolutely destroy us so... I am asking for you to write the conversion camp fic please.

Oh, my plan is to absolutely destroy you all with this one.

This is modern bc it wasn’t gonna be but then I wrote a part and it kinda had to be lol

TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nd Steve), conversion camp, anxiety, depression, physical abuse, the word r*pe is thrown around, suicidal ideations, basically, it’s a DOOZY

Seriously, this shit gets DARK. I have A LOT of untapped emotions.

But it has a happy ending, don’t worry

Steve’s hands were shaking as they dug through his bag.

They had already pulled out the eyeshadow palette he had tried to sneak in, needed something to make himself feel okay in this inevitable Hell.

“Did you receive our guidelines?” They had found the lipstick he had shoved in one of his shoes. “We specifically outlined prohibited items.” He took a shaky breath. “Your perversion is much deeper than anticipated, Mr. Harrington.” He just nodded.

He was shuffled about, led to a cold blank room.

His first meeting with a conversion specialist.

“What is your infatuation with women’s things?” The man’s voice made Steve feel like there was cold water dripping down his back.

“I just like pretty things.”

“Why do you deny your manhood?”

“I don’t.”

“You say that, but you do. Every time you pretend you’re a woman-”

“I don’t pretend I’m a woman. I just like makeup and stuff.” He gave Steve a disgusted look.

“By denying your true self, you have turned your back on God. You have allowed the devil to infiltrate your soul, to convince you that these perversions are okay.” He looked down at the paper in his lap, the forms Steve had been forced to sit and fill out with his parents. “You were not close with your father, were you?”

“Um, no. Not really.”

“So you pushed away your male role model?”

“He pushed me away, more like.” The man pursed his lips.

“A father does not push away his son unless there is something evil within him. A father can always tell when there is something wrong, something disgusting in his offspring.” He stood up, towering over Steve.

“You are disgusting, Steven Harrington. You are perverse and foul. You turn your back on your Creator. But you are not without a savior. You can be saved. Denounce the devil that tempts you to this life. Follow your savior, and He will lead you to safety.” He held out his hand. Steve took a breath, and shook it.

Steve’s first day was a fucking nightmare.

He was led to his room, a small room with two bunked beds and no doors. He was told he’d have three roommates, and if they were caught touching one another, the punishment would be painful.

And then it was group therapy.

He sat in a circle with ten of the other boys from the program. They were forced to discuss every attraction they had ever felt to anyone besides women. They were forced to discuss sexual encounters they had had with men, and call themselves disgusting.

And as it was Steve’s turn, and he talked about wearing panties, and fingering himself, and sucking Tommy’s dick, and he felt disgusting.

At dinner he met one of his roommates, and his heart sank.

“Where’d they scrape you up?” The guy was fucking gorgeous.

“Indiana.”

“And you just a homo? Or...?” The guy’s voice trailed off as he looked Steve up and down. “You one a’ them crossdressers, too?” Steve flushed deeply.

“How, how did you know?”

“Because you look like they got to you already. Means they got something on you. Make you feel real bad about yourself.”

“How, how long have you been here?”

“Long enough. Seen plenty a’ boys come and go. Some cured, some just a lost cause.” He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Why, why so long?” He grinned at Steve, sharp and beautiful.

“Because I’m immune, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s breath hitched. The guy licked over his teeth. “Can’t beat the gay outta me if they tried. And they fuckin’ have.”

“But why, why don’t you want to change? I mean, they’re, they’re right.” His blue eyes went cold.

“They got you deep. Damn, you might be the quickest turn around I’ve ever seen.”

“I just, I don’t want to be wrong anymore.” He leaned closer to Steve.

“You have never been wrong.” Steve felt like he was gonna cry.

A firm hand clapped down on Steve’s shoulder.

“William, I hope you’re treating our new guest nicely.” William’s face fell immediately.

“Yes, Father.” Steve looked up to see a priest holding onto him. His hair was greying and neat. His eyes were cold and dead.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Steven with me.” Steve followed him, eyes downcast, all the way to his office. “Steven, my name is Father Andrew. I’m here to help you.” Steve didn’t like his smile. “We’re going to meet everyday at 8:30 pm for your therapy.”

He pulled out a folder from the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed a photograph in front of Steve with a flourish.

It was porn.

It was fucking gay porn.

He stood in front of Steve, leaning against the desk, off to the side of the image.

“Tell me what you see here.” One of the men had dark hair. He was being taken from behind by the other man, his blond hair and bright eyes stirred something in Steve.

“Two men. Having sex.”

He didn’t see Father Andrew’s hand, just heard the crack of it against his cheek.

His eyes watered, his cheek burned.

“What do you see?”

“Two perverts.”

“What are they doing?”

“Defiling one another.”

“Good, Steven. You’re learning.”

He placed another photograph down. This time, the man being fucked had a full face of makeup, tears making the dark eyeliner run as he was on his back, hands cuffed to the bed. The man fucking him was smirking at the camera, tongue between his teeth.

“How does this make you feel?”

“Disgusted.”

“Why?”

“That they, they would touch each other like that.”

“Do you have fantasies like this? Of being tied up by another man? Raped by another man?”

And the answer, the answer was technically yes. He had plenty of fantasies of being tied up, taken rough, taken dirty.

But rape. That’s a strong fucking word.

“No, Father.” Another crack. Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“I, I don’t want to be, to be raped.” Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“Yes, yes Father. I have had fantasies.”

“These are not fantasies, these are perversions planted in your mind by demons, by the devil trying to pull you away from Christ our Lord. Do not let these demons lead you astray.”

He pulled out another picture.

Steve’s heart fucking stopped.

It was a picture of himself. A nude he had taken for Tommy.

He was wearing pretty lingerie, pouting to the camera. He remembers taking it, remembers putting on his makeup, posing over and over until he took one he liked. They must’ve gone through his phone, through his texts.

“Why do you dress like a woman?”

“Be-because I’m disgusting.” And the thing is, Steve had been told plenty of times that day that he’s disgusting, and he had begun to believe it.

“Good, Steven. You are disgusting. Do you believe you’re a woman?”

“No, Father.”

“Then why have you been experimenting with women’s things?”

“I believed I wasn’t a man.”

“And are you a man?”

“Yes, Father.”

“God made you a man.”

“Yes, Father.” Steve still didn’t like his smile.

He switched the image.

And it was another one of his nudes. This time he was in a skirt, kneeling with his back to the mirror, one hand spreading his cheeks, showing off the silver plug in his ass.

He even remembers the text he had sent with it.

Tommy had been studying for a test, so Steve sent that picture and said but im lonely :( and Tommy had replied I’ll be there in twenty.

“Why do you have an obsession with your anus?” Steve could feel the blood drain from his face.

“I, uh, it feels good.” Another slap.

“How does spitting in the face of your Heavenly Father feel good, Steven? Sodomy does not feel good.” Another slap. Steve’s face felt like it was on fire.

“I’m sorry, Father. I am vile, and disgusting.” Steve was sobbing, felt so fucking pathetic, trying to look anywhere but the printed image of himself.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. I expect you here tomorrow after dinner.”

Steve fucking ran back to his room.

The other boys were asleep. He climbed into the top bunk, curling into himself.

He felt disgusting, he felt foul and wrong and bad.

He tried to stifle his sobs into his pillow, the scratchy case muffling his panic attack.

“Hey, Stevie.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet.” There was a sigh, breath fanning over his face.

And then the boy from earlier was swinging himself into bed with him, curling against him.

“They said-”

“I know exactly what times they patrol. I’ll leave your bed before then.” He sighed. “First night’s always the hardest. You just gotta get through. Tell them what they wanna hear, but remember that they’re fucking wrong. You are valid, and real. Being gay is not disgusting.”

Steve curled into him, letting himself be comforted.

“Thank you. Thank you, William.”

“Oh, Christ. Call me Billy.”

“Thank you, Billy.”

As time passed, it was easy to retreat into himself.

He met with Father Andrew every night, got slapped and hit when his answers weren’t condemning enough.

But each night, Billy would crawl into bed with him, would hold him when he broke down.

The kiss was inevitable.

It happened after Steve had an extreme day, the beating he received when he had admitted to being nonbinary, that he had asked his friends at home to use other pronouns.

And Billy had said you’re perfect the way you are, Sweet Thing.

And Steve kissed him.

And Steve wanted to die.

“Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned.” Steve took a shaking breath.

He was kneeling in the small confessional.

They had Mass every three days, and confession each Friday.

“It has been one week since my last confession.” He took a deep breath. He needed to get this of his chest, needed to get the punishment he deserved. “Father, I, the feelings have not gone away. There is, there’s a boy, and I, I love him. And I try not to. I try not to look at him, to remember the devil is leading me astray. But Father, I think about him. I think about him often.”

“This is an extremely grievous sin, my son.”

“I know, Father. Please help me. I want to, I want to be pure. To be free of this sin, this temptation.”

“I offer, as penance for your sins, to pray a rosary for each time you have had an evil thought about your fellow man this week. As you ponder the Mysteries of the rosary, consider how God created you, how Jesus died for you, and you wipe your feet on their love.”

“Yes, Father.”

“And our meeting will be arduous tonight, Steven.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Now please, recite the Act of Contrition.”

Steve’s hands shook as he recited the prayer, finishing his confession with Father Andrew.

“Now, Steven. You discussed having impure thoughts today.”

Steve’s knees ached from praying the rosary so many times earlier today. He hadn’t eaten, had gone straight to the Chapel after his confession.

He wanted to pray, to cleanse himself.

And he didn’t want to risk seeing Billy.

“Yes, Father.”

“And you mentioned that you love another boy.”

“The devil is trying to make me think it’s love.” Father Andrew smiled his empty smile down at Steve.

“That’s right Steven. Because love cannot exist between two men. Love is a beautiful thing created and given to us by The Lord God.” Father Andrew leaned over Steve, made him shrink back in his seat. “Which is why you are unlovable as you are. You are foul and vile. You may be loved if you change.”

He grabbed Steve’s hair, holding his head still as he slapped his face.

And Steve let him.

He was foul, he was vile.

He deserved the pain.

Two months.

That’s how long it took Steve to “graduate”.

He left the facility in clean khakis, a nice sweater his mother had sent him to wear home.

Billy had left a week and a half prior.

He was deemed a lost cause.

Steve’s mother was there to pick him up, hugged him tight and told him how happy she was that he was fixed.

He was quiet as they drove, watching the shadows the summer sun cast on the side of the plain flat road.

“Your father will be pleased. You’ve made such wonderful progress. Free of all those delusions.”

They passed Tommy’s house.

He felt sick.

The first thing Steve did when he got home was destroy all his make up.

He took everything feminine from it’s hiding spot in the back of his closet.

He scraped out the eye shadow, smeared the lipstick all over his dresses.

He cut up his lingerie, shoved everything into a black garbage back, driving into town to toss it in the dumpster behind the gas station.

He wanted it away, he wanted it gone. He wanted to be pure.

His hands shook as he zipped up the suitcase.

He didn’t have much in there, was planning on taking enough to get him through a little while, then maybe buying some things, some pretty things.

His parents were asleep downstairs, he was planning on being long gone by the time they woke up.

He put on his backpack, taking his wallet and tiptoeing down the stairs, his shoes in his hand.

He had a plan, would drive to the bus station, leave his car there.

Someone will find it, and at that point, he’ll be long gone.

He bought a bus ticket to Chicago, paid in cash and gave a fake name.

He was fucking out of here.

They were fucking out of here.

“As I live, and fucking breathe.”

Steve startled as a hand came down on their shoulder.

They startled again when they turned around, came face to face with a ghost from the past.

“B-Billy?” Billy’s hair was longer than it had been at the camp. His smile was lazier, his eyes brighter. Steve’s gut gave an excited little flutter as he looked them up and down.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, Pretty Boy.” Steve flushed, adjusting their dress. It was new.

It had been three years since the camp. One year of Steve living in pain, until they packed their shit, and moved to the Golden Coast. They left in the middle of the fucking night, ran away like a scared child, never looking back.

And here was the love of their goddamn life, in some hole in the wall coffee shop in San Fransisco.

“It’s uh, it’s not Pretty Boy, anymore.” Billy’s grin got even wider.

“Thank fuck.” He swung himself into the seat across from Steve’s, upsetting some of the papers they were working on.

“What happened to you, Billy?” Billy’s smiled slipped, just a little.

“My dad was tired a’ paying for that joint if I wasn’t getting better. So he said if I wasn’t fixed in like, a month, he would stop paying, and I would be kicked out. Stayed true to his word. Haven’t seen the bastard since.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Getting kicked outta that place is the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I graduated. Went through the whole thing. Took me a year to realize how fucked up it was.”

“Jesus. They got you deep.” Steve shrugged.

“I’m okay now.”

“Yeah? What’re you doin’?”

“Goin’ to school. Gonna be a counselor. Hopefully work in an elementary school, or something.” Billy’s eyes were bright.

“That’s amazing. Gonna tell all the little queer kids that they’re valid and all that?”

“That’s the goal.” Billy grinned. “What are you doing now? You with anyone?”

“I own a bar, actually. Kind of a dive, but it’s a good time.” He looked at Steve through his lashes. “You should come by, sometime. Be good to see you.”

“I’d like to see you too.”

“And to answer your question, I’m not with anyone. Not right now.” He smirked. “But I could be.” He leaned over the table, drawing one finger down Steve’s hand. “I like seeing you happy. Feel like I only ever saw you cryin’ in that joint.”

“Well, spent a lot of time crying there.”

“For good reason.” Billy took their hand. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Y’know I told Father Andrew I was in love with you. Got beat black and fuckin’ blue for it.” Billy’s face was grave.

“Why’d you do that?”

“Wanted to be fixed. Took me a year to realize I didn’t need that.”

“You stop lovin’ me in that year?”

“Not even in the two after that.” Billy took a shaking breath.

“You know, I uh, I love you too. Always did. It broke my fucking heart to leave you in that place. Was gonna wake you up that night, get you to run away with me. But they took me out, uh, forcibly.”

“Bet you put up a real good fight.”

“Broke Father Ryan’s nose.” Steve let out a burst of laughter, clapping one hand over their mouth.

“I was wondering about that. He had a splint for like, a month.”

“Yeah, well, bastard kept tryin’ to exorcise me. Headbutted him right in the face.”

“Good for you, Bill. Sometimes I wish I could light the whole place on fire.”

“Me too.” Billy took their hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I gotta head, but I wanna see you. Soon. Later today, if you can.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m just doing some homework, but I could stop by the bar tonight? I don’t have shit to do tomorrow.”

“Lemme pick you up. We can go to dinner before I take you to the bar.” They smiled softly at him.

“I’d like that.”

#oof #this was a lot to write #i got halfway through and realized how much damn Truama the Church has given me #big yikes #I've been really fucking scarred by TWO religions #how fun #yikes writes #tw homophobia #tw religion #tw conversion #tw gay conversion #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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thoughtfulnerdcycle · 4 years ago

Note

all the even numbers (for the send in numbers to get an answer thingy) >:D

gonna be a long one :D

2: Age

19, born in 2001 lol

4: 3 things I love

music

my friends

animals

6: 4 turns off

(these are just a preference and only count for people i could be romantically attracted to u can have these things and we can still be friends)

dirty finger nails/uncared nails/hands

dreadlocks

crooked teeth

just personal preference not attacking anyone <3

8: Sexual orientation

lesbian

10: How tall am I

im around 5“3 or 161cm

12: What time were I born

around 8.30pm!

14: Do I have a crush

kinda recovering from a crush rn

16: Favorite place

my house if i’m alone and outside if i’m not alone

18: Do I use sarcasm

i think i try to but probably fail miserably

20: First thing I notice in new person

hands

eyes

lips

22: Eye color

brown :(

24: Favorite style of clothing

(korean) streetwear, or dark academia no in between

26: there’s no 26 lmao :D

🪨

28: Favorite movie

i love shrek lol and basketball diaries, very basic but i also like pulp fiction

30: Favorite band

queen, bon jovi, pink floyd, arctic monkeys, one ok rock, oisicle melonpan

32: Someone I love

my newest friend - she’s a lovely person and i alr feel like i’ve known her for years <3

34: My relationship with my parents

sometimes it’s pretty good but there’s no trust

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

i want tattoos don’t have any yet

i have s helix on my left ear and two ear lobes, two on my right ear and i used to have a nose piercing on the right side

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

i was 13 and not like other girls

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not really :( i want one

42: When did I last hold hands?

i don’t remember

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

not my friends bc they’re drunk too

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

my mom and my stepfather, idk where my father is

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

my best friend - i love him so much and he always listens

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

unless a quick hug counts idk if it counts then on thursday

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i trusted my ex best friend even tho i knew i shouldn’t

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

this is such a hard question tbh i can’t decide id love to meet all the famous people who died like Freddie Mercury or Kurt Cobain maybe Marilyn Monroe or just my soulmate lol

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can tie a knot with my tongue?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

i wish i was confident enough to be in front of it but i’m good behind lol

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i usually hate talking loudly at home as i’m scared my parents could hear so neither texting is best

64: Do I believe in magic?

dunno

66: What’s the weather like right now?

warm with a harsh find

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

does my chronic illness count lol

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

74: Favorite animal?

cats for pets and ducks for non domestic animals

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

cool people don’t use last names like zendaya

78: How can you win my heart?

give me attention and be as passionate as me (or just try) for my hyperfixations lol

80: What is my favorite word?

i love handlettering the word moist, girls, history and love

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

love is love

black lives matter

stop racism against asian people

stop the hate

but would probably be to nervous to talk ingrown of ppl i almost lost consciousness when i had to present smth in class

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation would’ve neat

86: What is my current desktop picture?

leafs lol

88: Bought condoms?

for a friend that had a hook up later that das but didn’t have enough time to get them lol

90: Failed a class?

yes but on purpose

92: Kissed a girl?

yes

94: Had a job?

kinda?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i don’t remember actively bullying anyone bc i always was against that but you never know if your words were perceived the way u wanted

98: Played on a sports team?

100: Did drugs?

only weed

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

104: Been overweight?

yes

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

does netflix count if yes then yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yes lol

112: Broken a bone?

114: Been to prom?

116: Fly by helicopter?

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

120: Wore make up?

pretty much everyday

122: Had oral sex?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

126: Had a surgery?

had 1 wisdom tooth removed haha

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

yes

130: Been fishing?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes :(

134: What do I want for birthday?

i’ve been saving up for an ipad past few months and i got almost half so maybe the other half of the money or smth idk i don’t do birthdays :D

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99centthoughts · 6 years ago

Note

i keep reading 'orion' as 'onion' so thats. who they are to me now

ONION……………………….. now im picturing orion as onion from steven universe and i am very stressed out by the thought

MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT!!! (a lot of asks im sorry)

1) D..DONT DIE YET ANON……….. SOON!!! I have a break coming up and i wanna do more comics stuff 😭

2) LOL omg IM SORRY !!!! I Messed up the layout a couple of times while editing it so it must have been weird 😨

1) Hiya! Honestly I think it would be best to get comfortable with more realistic proportions before you branch out into cartoon/anime style! I did it the other way round and I regret it a lot, bc I think it made my foundations really shaky and inconsistent. THAT’S NOT TO SAY u have to master the traditional art style before u start drawing any cartoons though!! I think it’s fine to do them together, just don’t neglect traditional anatomy and all that, bc it will help you a lot in the future regardless of the style you eventually choose to stick to!

2) LKMKLDS ANON STOP NOW IM GOING TO THINK OF THE STORE WHENEVER I THINK OF JC ………… he would be Mr penney???? MR..PENNEY..

thank YOU for enjoying my drawings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh thank you so much for such a sweet message oh gosh ANON YOU’RE MAKING MY HEART GROW 3 SIZES!!! Messages like this make me want to share everything with everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M HONESTLY SO HAPPY that my silly little tips and stuff can make drawing fun for you BC THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING FUN WHILE DRAWING!!! MAY YOU INSPIRE LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE and most importantly I hope you always find joy in your own art!!!! THIS MESSAGE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND YOU DO TOO ILU ANON!!! IM GONNA KEEP THIS FOREVER

1) A NERD AND A PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) omg I have thought about basically every combination o f my ocs at least once anon lKMDLskdlj they would be cute!!!!!!! and a very calm couple… I feel like emmett would be patient enough to handle fay though it would take a lot to get there bc rn emmett is low key terrified of fay LOL

1) IM NOT SURE U WOULD WANT TO MARRY THEM ¾ OF THEM ARE A MESS!!!!!!!

2) OH I googled around a bit bc tbh I have no idea what they are called too, and I think it’s called the terminator/ half tone?? it’s basically the bit of colour between the light and the core shadow (the darkest part of where the shadow starts)

THe coloured outline of shadows that alot of artists do is an exaggeration of how it looks in rl but it is pretty neat bc it makes the object look like it’s glowing haha

1) AW THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!! it’s so sweet that you’ve stuck around for so long and that you take the time to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE I’LL KEEP DRAWING AND MAKING ART THAT YOU ENJOY FOR YEARS TO COME!!!!

2) OH no that plant is a random plant that I made up hahhaaa

1) HELLO AGAIN AND thank you ahhh it means a lot to me that you take the time to interpret and think about my art in such a thoughtful manner😭😭😭 It’s really sweet and it makes me look at my art in a different way? I was thinking that the redrawn version seems more stiff and I wasn’t sure if I liked them more than the old ones, but after seeing this message I was like ohhh that is true I did try different things with the new versions and that is something I should appreciate and be proud of !! so thank YOU for the lovely words, it is my absolute pleasure to share my art with u!!

2) HE IS YOURS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THIS WHIRLWIND

1) I like using poses from magazines to study anatomy!! I either follow blogs that post magazine scans or I buy them myself when i can! Another thing I’ve found rly helpful was using fitness books/ videos as references… like those for muscle-building/ weight lifters, where there are diagrams of which muscles are working for a specific exercise. YOUTUBE has a lot of fitness videos, just type xxx workout, pause the video at any random frame, and u should be able to get a nice reference to study muscles with!! If u want references for the muscles themselves, some good books I’ve found helpful are: Strength training Anatomy and Anatomy for sculptors (I can give them to you off anon if you’d like)!

2) I HOPE YOU ARE enjoying the brushes !!! NO WORRIES AT ALL I’m happy to share my brushes with anyone who might want to try using htem!! SENDS YOU ALL OF MY LOVE BACK I HOPE YOU ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND INSPIRED ❤❤

1) omg this is so hard bc there are 213213 options and I could picture them as more than 1 type of fantasy creature tbh ……… BUT FIRST ONES THAT COME TO MIND WOULD BE : some kind faerie for fay haha, werewolf for tyler, centaur for emmett, vampire for jc, some kinda elemental spirit for cyrus, an orc for wade, and UHH some kind of wise gate guarding creature for parisi LOL

ILY TOO AND thank YOU for loving my silly boys!!!!!!!!!

2) AHHHH thank u anon I WISH YOU ALL tHE BEST AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING AS WELL ALWAYS 💞💞💞💞

1) OR PERHAPS PARISI IS JUST ENORMOUS but also yes it’s true baby tyler is a tiny baby bean

2) LSKMDLKSM HOW CAN I NOT SAY I LOVE YOU BACK TO YOU THE SWEETEST ANON OF ALL TIME 💖💖💖💖💖

1) omg anon this is a lie I am terrible at drawing anything symmetrically and if I somehow produced anything to make u think so, it’s probably because I spent 10 hours on getting it to look ok LOL I.. TRY TO USE GUIDELINES and flip my canvas to check that things are balanced… that helps me out a lot :’D

2) thank u anon for this ask it is beautiful and I will frame it and keep it in my room to encourage myself to start drawing batfam art again

1) HEY ANON and thank u! I have a list of resources that I’ve found helpful here (at the bottom of the page) !! I hope some of that might be useful for you and feel free to drop me another msg if u need more/ want something more specific!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST

2) omg I havent replied to asks in so long that I didnt even rmb what picture this was referring to and I had to go back and look LOL HE’S TRYING HIS BEST ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CANT HELP BEING AN AVERAGE MAN SURROUNDED BY MODELS HOW RIDICULOUS OF THEM !!!!

#thank u for ur patience i will try to be better with replying ..#ILU ALL #sometimes i wish i knew who theese anons are so that i can befriend them #kelno #Anonymous

57 notes · View notes

yewphoric · 5 years ago

Note

Character meme. DIOOOOO and jotarized

oh he he he oh hoho ok thank you :imbaby:

these are gonna be long fair warning. u picked two top faves so i’ll talk forever

we will do Dio first

Favorite thing about them: I think my favorite thing abt him is. well besides He Sexy, his like flair?? idk he’s so dramatic and talks and stands weird and does weird things and i think that’s pretty neat

Least favorite thing about them: WELL he’s a pretty shitty person lol. he does many bad things but 2 pick one....his flagrant disrespect for life in general. like. he just kills animals and ppl for no reason. that’s not good, Dio, stop that

Favorite line: ah he says a lot of funky iconic things. ig it’s not a line but is it too cheesy to pick WRYYYYYYYYY? bc i’m picking that. it never fails to make me laugh bc like what the fuck. he’s just makin those noises. go ahead you rabid gay vampire

Random headcanon: this one might count as an unpopular opinion as well since i’ve seen how ppl react to this headcanon BUT i hc him as aroace. yes he fucks to survive but did he feel any sort of attraction to those many, many people? absolutely not. he fucks to fuck and that is all. i will die on this hill

Unpopular opinion: i think high Dio (short hair Dio) is the ugliest version of him. idk if this is unpopular but short hair does Not suit Dio, at all

Song I associate with them: OK this is kinda unoriginal since i got it from an AMV about him BUT Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds is a Dio song. here’s the AMV it’s really good

Favorite picture of them: Hard choice! he is very sexy. i’ll go with this panel from Stone Ocean, though

now for Jotaro :3c

Favorite thing about them: ohhhh god i have to pick huh. OK i thought of one thing: i love that he canonically has a soft spot for kids. like if people hurt kids he gets REALLY mad and he’s generally just got a dad vibe when he has to take care of kids. love the protective dad energy

Least favorite thing about them: i love him with my entire heart so i don’t hate anything abt him BUT i really do wish he handled raising Jolyne better. i understand the canon reasons and i know it’s completely in character for him to think that not being there is the best way to protect her but please,,,, be there for her, sir

Favorite line: ok i really love a lot of his stupid one-liners in stardust crusaders lmao. i think my favorite was when Dark Blue Moon’s user tried to predict what he was thinking about and then after he defeated him he was like “Nope. What I was thinking was... [dramatic turn] If you pissed yourself when you lost, it’d be gross since we’re in the water, old man.” like how iconic. he thinks he’s so cool. i love him

Random headcanon: ok i finally thought of an original headcanon of mine: he has his hands in his pockets all the time even when it seems inconvenient (like. when he’s about to fight Dio, for example) because he’s Incredibly Uncomfortable if he’s not doing something with or holding something in his hands and putting them in his pockets is a way to conveniently alleviate that AND look cool and chill at the same time

Unpopular opinion: idk how unpopular this is But i’m okay with the fact that his marriage to his wife was never developed? like she’s not given any characteristics other than “good mother” and considering that she doesn’t even have a name and that Jotaro never even mentions caring about her when he talks about caring for Jolyne,,, idk i don’t find myself longing to see what their relationship was like since i don’t think there was much there

Song I associate with them: ok i just decided this on the spot BUT.... thinkin about the lyrics a lil...... Interlude by EDEN. especially “so i push it back down cuz i never wanna let out that i’ve been dying since i saw you were gone”.... sad cat face....might go draw some sad fanart to this song.... :thinking:

Favorite picture of them: hm ok another hard one bc Jotaro’s top notch character design and Araki’s beautiful art style combine very often to form some Excellent pieces that are very visually appealing..... i’ll go with This One from Stone Ocean though...... i realize perhaps i’m just a bit of a slut for the Stone Ocean art style lmao

#ANYWAY THAT WAS LONG... thank u for the ask :3c #ask #jjba #dio #jotaro

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notsomerciful · 6 years ago

Note

Jiroushin and Kanzeon, naturally, for the Ultimate Ship ask, please!

ultimate ship meme | open to everyone | cut for length

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

How long will they last? - literally until the heat death of the universe

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - no one is really sure about this because no one really remembers a time before they were A Thing

How was their first kiss? - almost certainly Kanzeon’s fault entirely

Wedding: This was all hard to answer because I didn’t picture them really doing anything formal, they’re just A Couple and That’s That. But for the sake of the meme...

Who proposed? - Kanzeon

Who is the best man/men? -

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -

Who did the most planning? - Jiroushin

Who stressed the most? - Kanzeon “Stress is for peasants” Bosatsu does not stress. (Jiroushin)

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Li Touten

Sex:

Who is on top? - lmao Bosatsu obvi (did anyone question this I mean fr)

Who is the one to instigate things? - Kanzeon

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - honestly I don’t know that humans can really comprehend so I’m just gonna skip this one over

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - How to delicately say “lol no”

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 3 (ask me about them)

How many children will they adopt? - I have no idea bc Kanzeon has this whole Human Foundling thing she thinks is funny but the problem with being immortal and having mortal adoptive kids is that eventually they die as as the eons go on they kinda start to blend together

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Jiroushin

Who is the stricter parent? - Jiroushin

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Jiroushin

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Jiroushin

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both loved more or less equally. Although Jiroushin is the one who does the real heavy lifting in terms of discipline and what, everyone gets along pretty darn well.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Jiroushin, but Kanzeon gets dragged along

Who cried the most at graduation? - Jiroushin

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - My mother, the goddess of love, mercy, and flirting your way out of a ticket

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Jiroushin when they don’t order out

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - neither one is especially

Who does the grocery shopping? - Jiroushin

How often do they bake desserts? - hardly ever, although their daughter Miru is a good baker

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - something something Buddhism and vegetarianism something

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Jiroushin. Kanzeon loses track of time a lot.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Kanzeon

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Jiroushin is neat but he’s not a fantastic cook. They order in a lot.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Jiroushin

Who is really against chores? - If YOU were a goddess would YOU do the chores?

Who cleans up after the pets? - Jiroushin

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Kanzeon except she doesn’t sweep.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - one recalls that stress is for peasants

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Jiroushin, but it got snatched and put in the swear jar immediately to make up for all the money Kanzeon had to take out of it for a diatribe about soccer. (No. I don’t know why there’s a swear jar.)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Kanzeon has been known to stay in the bath for entire human lifetimes.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Jiroushin is by default the Chore Guy

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - there are just party lights and streamers everywhere all the time

What are their goals for the relationship? - is more like a habit at this point tbh. Years beyond memory together kind of negates the need for any goal beyond “don’t drive each other completely nuts”

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - what’s time when you’re immortal though

Who plays the most pranks? - hello have you met the goddess of love, mercy, and trolling?

#ezra-blue #asks #m: kanzeon bosatsu #headcanons #(ty bb this was good and fun)

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rikusuriuri · 6 years ago

Note

oh fuck u sent me multiple so demo/engie/medic/scout and also u can do the one i already sent

ty i love you

Demo

favorite thing about them

he’s super fun!!! but also really smart and caring and just an all around cool dude he’s like B) !

least favorite thing about them

this isnt about him personally lol but like official stuff(comics) lighten the fuck out of his skin and its like. dont

favorite line

i didnt even see this question when i first did this wtf but uh all his “i love you” esque lines are really excellent

brOTP

exclusing soldier lol!!! probably sniper or engie!!

OTP

soldier :’)

nOTP

besides scout & pyro & just like. looking at just the mercs no one really demo deserves love

random headcanon

he likes turtles a lot & just reptiles/amphibians in general just in a kinda neat/favorite animal type way nothing special, he gets around with engie and sniper and they all get drunk and they talk about cryptids, he has a super big heart he loves love, outside of the battlefield he’s pretty apprehensive and cautious moreso than lots of the others at least, he doesnt push himself to be it often just bc he doesnt like leaderly positions but he defo has one of the more valid voices of reason amongst all of them, he loves to help and just listen to people he’s always ready to offer you a drink and take a load off and just talk things out & he’s super chill and easy to talk to anyway, he comes off as really lazy but he can jump up and make do when he needs to

unpopular opinion

idk whats considered popular or not on here lol but like!! he’s not just stupid silly drunk man he’s actually got heart and is pretty intelligent & like probably one of the better off mercs if he wanted himself to be

song i associate with them (this is literally the worst question im so bad at this if i dont have lots n lots of searching time and also i forget all music ever)

cheap thrills - sia

favorite picture of them (sorry 4 bg edits im doing what i have on hand lol)

hes so fucking happy i love you!!!

Engie

favorite thing about them

he’s my fucking husband he makes my heart fucking soar!!! he’s a quiet little sweetheart and he’s just really smart and nice and has morals iusdahui

least favorite thing about them

fucking nothing you animals

favorite line

all his fucking nerdy engineering lines are so fucking good ;____; he’s so smart and passionate god“i love engines! pinion shafts! flanges. mitigating shock loads. but most of all: i love winnin’!” “they won’t know what hit ‘em! though it’ll likely to be bullets. statistically speaking” theres more but im like ;___; just thinking about him ah

brOTP

medic babey!!!!!! i have a thing for shitty best friends that tire each other out (especially on one side) but love each other at the end of the day and are just ride or diepyro also but for completely different reasons :-)

OTP

spy is fucking excellent -.- dont @ me

nOTP

soldier lol (excluding pyro & scout)

random headcanon

i think all the mercs are autsitic but engie is one of my fucking fav ahhhhh, he and medic info dump for hours especially where their special interests overlap and it gets really boring if youre not one of them lol, he loves learning but he hated school so much ):, he has pretty bad anxiety but only under certain circumstance, he’s kinda jealous that spy gets to automatically be seen as a paternal figure bc of scout and he kinda wishes he could settle in like that but he also doesnt think he’d be very good at it for a very prolonged amount of time, he loves math!!!! he loves numbers a lot he associates it with lots of fun and colors and just !!!!! wow wow!!, he has really really really high empathy when it comes to machines and stuff, he loves dogs especially smaller ones, he really loves to fidget w/ tools and stuff bc he always has one on hand and theres lots you can do with some of them, he’s really lazy and has a hard time applying himself sometimes

unpopular opinion

the comics really brush him aside i need to see him more please for the love of god he’s just as interesting as anyone else also fat engie is the only valid engie & also soldier/engie is fucking forced and weird idk where it comes from except they wear hats lol & also people call engie short but if you dont make him 5′00 give or take 3 inches youre doing it wrong and i cant stand by it

song i associate with them

this is like. also a soldier song for me lol but Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - the decemberists

favorite picture of them

ms pauling and medic!! his buddies :) also i just love the shadowboxers art

his fly costume makes me so ;___; i love you little man

also i hate to default to beard engie but this is literally the sexiest man alive

Medic

favorite thing about them

i have a thing for shitty men with halfway decent hearts but are trying(sometimes) okay like okay he’s so chaotic and bad but ;___; i love you

least favorite thing about them

this mostly applies to his Meet the vid but he comes off as really apathetic and cruel? i think in everything else he comes off as a bit nicer if not absentminded and not too socially aware which is :)

favorite line

bro when he warns heavy about that gun in the comix? gay rights U__U also the like “you can take the brain out of the criminal and put it in a pumpkin, but you cant take the criminal out of the brain in the pumpkin” or whatever shit sir i love you

brOTP

engie baby!!!! i also really like spy & sniper bc im weak for shitty support relationships i think med just works really good w/ everyone really in some way

OTP

heavy baby!!!

nOTP

all of the mercs are fine (excluding the usual lol) but like cHeavymed people are freaks die

random headcanon

he has really poor eating & sleeping habits he almost relies on everyone else to keep him alive, he’s autistic & he’s jewish but not really practicing, he pulls & tugs on things when he’s stressed, he’s actually really smart medically he just doesn’t like showing it/messing w/ people (it makes some of the smarter mercs nervous lol), when he gets bored & has nothing to play with he digs for drama he loves to start unnecessary arguments that have no value whatssoever, he’s scared of dogs, he only trusts sniper & maybe heavy to handle his birds if he were to die, heavy & archimedes are like mega comfort objects(?) for him !!, he’s kinda really bad at showing he likes/cares for people, this goes especially hard on engie ):, he has a really big sweet tooth, he cant cook, he doesnt ever censor himself and can be pretty rude, he’s an open book and has no sense of integrity, he got super attached to heavy right off the bat for seemingly no reason and it was just super awkward lol, he gets distracted really easily and drops projects too often when he gets bored/forgets, his room is a mess he doesnt know how to do chores, he’s trans and hasnt done anything to medically transition but he handles everyone on team who is

unpopular opinion

he’s not a fucking sociopath lol like he has a heart and cares he just has a hard time differentiating right from wrong and doesnt think things out i love you

song i associate with them

this is my emo music time i keep changing this but im gonna go It Was A Swift Not A Swallow - Crywank

favorite picture of them

i cant pick between these two he’s saving his fucking boyfriends life & also the 2nd he just looks so peaceful and :)

Scout

favorite thing about them

he’s a sweet boy!!! he just wants friends and he’s stuck with a bunch of middle aged men we have to love his endurance also he’s a little baby faced menace i love you

least favorite thing about them

in the canon i ignore lol.. too straight we cant have that

favorite line

all his lines talking about how the group of them are all best friends and stuff??? i love that

brOTP

sniper !!!! also spy also everyone

OTP

no one really lol pyro is like. the only one im comfy w/

nOTP

sniper lol if we’re talking popular things & all the rest of the mercs really

random headcanon

he’s a super sweet boy who loves everyone on the team, he warmed up the fastest out of all of them and became super attached!!, he really wants a base dog, he really likes to spend time with everyone and listen to them talk like he loves sitting with engie and having him explain nerdy engineering nonsense that he’ll never get but he tries to but its just fun seeing how excited the other person is!!!, he became super close to sniper right off the bat for some reason which is weird bc scout can talk forever and sniper doesn’t know how to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes but they like hanging out even if it gets tiring, he lives off of sugary drinks medic keeps telling him to stop, he loves to hang out w/ spy and they get on each others nerves but really enjoy it at the end of the day, he has little to no sense of boundaries, he loves to give hugs!!, he really tries to engage with everyone’s interests like i said he just loves making/seeing other people happy, he loves being part of big groups it always just feels like a big family to him

unpopular opinion

he gay :)

song i associate with them

the calculation - regina spektor

favorite picture of them

trans rights!!!

Soldier

favorite thing about them

he is a sweetheart he is my big stupid husband and we both love raccoons =.=

least favorite thing about them

the patriotism…… we arent having that

favorite line

he’s literally so fucking funny especially all his things w/ merasmus and just. everything

brOTP

excluding demo uh !!! SPY!!!! :D

OTP

demo :)

nOTP

engie x.x

random headcanon

he’s super sweet !!! he loves his friends so much, he loves to show off his raccoons to everyone :), he bonds w/ sniper over wildlife(raccoons), everyone has a lot of patience w/ him bc he struggles to communicate things a lot and kinda needs his time to get points across, he’s actually really observant and it would be really good if he just didnt jump to wild conclusions based off of it all the time, he’s really conscious of his actions and how they affect others like he’s kinda violent impulsively but hes taken note of who is and isnt okay with it or who’s okay w/ him saying what in front of them, he’s really protective of his friends!!! he knows theyre capable but he loves looking out for them, he loves to drag them off on fitness expeditions/training but he tires out before a good number of them/gets bored, he wakes up the earlies he loves the mornings, he can cook but nobody knows it, like scout he loves to indulge in what other people like but he’s more handson he loves to screw in screws for engie or hand medic tools or read out loud to spy or heavy or show sniper things he catches/turn over rocks with him, he loves medics birds but doc wont let him touch them ):, he wants to get a base dog too, he has no volume or tone control, probably the best hugger, he’s kinda shy about personal things like himself in general or being trans & liking guys he’s actually pretty decent at keeping personal things to himself not that he wouldnt share it just feels weird,

unpopular opinion

he’s not just like shouty mean stupid man,,, he’s actually really sweet

song i associate with them

rejoice- AJJ

favorite picture of them

i have worse naked honey pics but this is fucking it lads gay rights

#im like. digging thru my tee eff 2 playlist on spotify this is hell #asks #tf text #sorry this is long lol i feel like im leaving out so much #also shout out to cecil youre the only valid person out here #triplecrossed #if i missed anything kick me #these make me so happy to do i love talking and talking and talking about my interests

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syubub · 4 years ago

Text

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

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