#it was nail clipping day and that’s her least favourite day

[claypigeonpottery]

I feel I must share this as it has to do with my namesake

Scout’s little face!

she’s a fierce pigeon, and she would destroy us if her beak wasn’t so cute and useless

[httpscomexe]

I was thinking of something where Reader comes back smellin like booze all drunk, and normally Logan hates her but he helps clean her always ❤️‍🩹

Fridays

Summary: You arrive at Logan’s and Wades shared apartment, drunk. Normally Wade is there to help you, but this time it’s only Logan.

(Find what I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Pairings: Logan Howlett x Reader

Warnings: Underage drinking, drunkenness

Work count: 1040

Fridays…

Logan’s least favourite day of the week, when you and Wade would go out drinking, you’d both come back drunk, then you’d have obnoxious giggles while you painted Wades nails and watched Finding Nemo with a bowl of chocolate covered popcorn.

It didn’t bother him at first, but then he saw how Wade would get touchy with you. And it didn’t bother him, except for the fact that he knew alcohol didn’t effect Wade as much as it would you. So when Wade guided you inside by your waist, something you’d never let him do sober, Logan was just annoyed. Then Wade started flirting, touching your thighs and stroking your cheek while you were drunk. Wade never seemed the type to force anything on a drunk woman though, which was why it bothered Logan so fucking bad.

So when you came to their apartment alone. Logan was confused. You smelt horrible too. Like weed, which you didn’t smoke, and then there was the scent of whiskey. He knew you were underage drinking, and that you had a meeting in the morning, so of course he was concerned.

“Where’s Wade?” Logan asks, brewing a pot of coffee as you stumble in.

“Oh he’s out fucking some girl he met…” You giggle a little, closing and locking their door behind you before resting your forehead on the wood.

“Language, kid.” It annoyed you when he called you that, at least when you were sober it did.

“Kid?” You smirk, walking towards him with an obnoxious sway to your hips that only made Logan snicker.

“Why the fuck did you come here without Wade?”

“I don’t wanna be alone…” You whisper, your finger coming up to the top button on his red flannel but he stops you, his voice low.

“Go take a shower, you smell like shit.”

“It’s jus’ weed…”

“You’re smoking weed?”

“No, Wade had some…”

“Go shower, I’ll find you some clothes of Wade…”

“No…” You say flatly, like a child denying broccoli.

“No?”

“Wanna smell like you… I like you, not Wade…” You arms suddenly come to wrap around his waist, and he gently pulls you off.

“Can you even fucking walk?”

“How do you think I got here…?” He stays quiet, as if expecting you to answer for him. “I didn’t walk… Wade got an Uber then Matthew had to walk me up the steps.”

“Matthew?” You nod.

“Mhm, the Uber guy…”

“Holy shit you’re a fucking mess…”

“Can you help me?”

“Help you what?”

“Take a bath…” He stares down at you, and you swear his heart stopped a beat or two. “Normally Wade helps when I’m drunk… I almost drowned last time…”

“Mess…” He says under his breath. “Fine, let’s go.” He hooks his arm under your legs and lifts you bridal style, making you giggle.

Once he reaches the bathroom, he sets you down and turns on the water, waiting until it was the right temperature before turning around, only to be met with you, shirt and pants already thrown to the floor, and you are now struggling with the clip on your bra.

“Fuck…” You mumble.

“Here, let me see.” He turns you around before you can even respond, and your bra is off in record time.

“Thanks…” You say shyly, then work to remove your pantries, noticing in the mirror that Logan wasn't staring. Oh so respectful as usual.

You couldn’t deny it. Whether you were drunk, sober, tired, or completely rested, you could never deny your feelings for Logan. Since the day you first saw him…

Your were doing Wades nails in his room, watching a movie you can’t remember the name of, you weren’t drunk, you hadn’t started drinking until after meeting Logan. But he had walked in in the middle of you doing Wades pinky, only a towel around his waist, and your eyes immediately fell down to his v-line, admiring his wet abs as he came asking if Wade had seen Logan’s cologne, which he hadn’t. But you couldn’t take your eyes off him, you didn’t even notice you were staring until Wade tapped your arm and then you were so embarrassed… From that day forward, you refused to visit until you were drunk. At least then you wouldn’t remember anything humiliating you might do…

You had gotten into the tub, Logan already kneeling beside it with your own dedicated loofa in his hand, already rubbing soap over your arms and legs as you dozed off thinking about the first day you unofficially met him. And you were sure he hated you, always avoiding conversation with you whenever you tried to talk.

“Logan…” You mumble his name.

“Yes.”

“I love you…” He pauses his movements, thinking for a moment before continuing.

“Can you sit up a little?” You do.

“Why don’t you say it back?”

“Because you don’t mean that, you’re drunk.”

“I’ll still love you when I’m not.” You look into his eyes, and he knows you aren’t lying.

“I doubt that.” He stops cleaning you, now fully engaged in the conversation.

“Always have… Since the day I first saw you…”

“I didn’t even say hi.”

“I know but you’re hot.”

“So you wanna fuck me, not date me?”

“That too, both…” He lets out a long, deep sigh, hanging up your loofa. “Always thoughts about you fucking me…” He stands up, grabbing a towel. “Rearranging my fucking organs…” Of course, you never thought that maybe being drunk around him was just as bad as sober, if not worse. False confidence was in the market.

“Oh yea?” He pays into it, helping you up and out of the tub before beginning to dry you.

“Mhm… kids too… And marriage…”

“Really?” He sounded like he didn’t believe you.

“Yes, Logan…* You look up at him, feelings hurt when he shows no enthusiasm. “I really, really like you… Like a lot… I love you…” Your voice cracks, and he pulls a hoodie over your head. His hoodie.

“Hey, let’s talk about this in the morning. I’ll bring it up when you wake up…” He takes you out of the bathroom, turning off the lights.

“Can I sleep with you? I normally sleep with-“

“Yes, you can sleep with me…”

[lucero-is-here]

Headcanons: Ian Devine

Requested by:

Don’t know much about him either but LET’S GOOOOO

Photos of him first:

- Ian’s hair is constantly getting tangled because of the fact it’s curly. He spends more money on conditioner than anything else.

- Ian really really likes dogs. The bigger the dog the better!

- He blasts music in his house. He absolutely loves music.

- he taught himself how to play guitar. It took a while but he got through it!

- his fingers have bandages on them because the bandages make it less painful for him when playing the guitar!

- his main source of caffeine is energy drinks

- he has a collection of headphones and earphones. Ask to borrow a pair and he’ll show you his collection for you too choose.

- he wears boots most of the time. He says they look cool and are comfortable.

- he tried wearing platform boots once, and he fell down wearing them. Nonetheless he loved the platform boots.

- he loves kids. He loves He lets them braid his hair and everything. Sometimes they say they want to be able to play guitar as well as him, and he says they can do it if they try their best!

- he loves candy…ESPECIALLY SOUR CANDY. He likes sour gummy worms the best though. Don’t leave him alone in a candy shop unless you want him to buy at least three bags of candy.

- He’s pansexual.

- he likes rings. He collects rings, and one of his favourite rings looks like a guitar that has been bended around his finger!

- he tried making his own rings before. Whether he tried making them with paper, bending paper clips…He tried a lot of ways to make his own rings. Some succeeded some failed though. But that’s okay!

- he doesn’t like to admit it, but he uses skin care a lot-

- he paints his nails sometimes! And he makes little designs too (roses, skulls, etc)! He paints his daughter’s nails sometimes (in canon game he has a daughter called Izzy Ramsey, you can go search her on the criminal case wiki)

- he ate a random flower on the side of the road once for fun.

- he can dance and sing. And he’s really good at it.

- he likes sandwiches. Especially egg sandwiches.

- Tattoos. He has a lot of tattoos on his back.

- He has necklaces. A lot of necklaces. And he loves them all a lot. He will gladly lend you some to wear though!

- his favourite flavour of ice cream is chocolate. He just really likes chocolate.

- as I said he really likes chocolate. REALLY REALLY LIKES CHOCOLATE.

- he has a dark blue dream catcher in his room that was given to him by a fan and he loves it a lot.

- his closet has a lot of outfits of very fun colours. Hoodies, button up shirts, tank tops, Hawaiian shirts- he has a lot of shirts basically.

- donuts. He likes donuts. He made his own donuts once and they actually tastes good somehow-

- He can bake. He baked cookies and cakes before- but he doesn’t tell people that much until they come over or something, then he shares with them the things he baked.

- now he can cook…But sometimes with the risk of burning the kitchen down. He set the water on fire once by accident somehow too.

Ian: uh- man…I set the water on fire…

Ian’s friend: IAN HOW TF DID YOU SET THE WATER ON FIRE-?!

Turns out that wasn’t water, that was oil/grease. From that day onwards, Ian was banned from frying anything unless under supervision of someone who definitely knew how to cook.

- Ian likes the beach. He likes rolling around in the sand and jumping into the sea. He really likes it when he finds seashells too.

- Ian bought a little hermit crab at a boardwalk once and named the crab Herm. He ended researching about hermit crabs and learnt how to properly care for them.

- Ian had this giant husky as a kid. He loves this husky and would always take it on walks. The husky’s name was Oreo.

- Ian is really athletic. He can run a lot, and he likes swimming. Swimming is his favourite sport.

- Ian’s favourite fruit is blueberries.

- he actually has a good relationship with his parents. His dad was also in a rock band and was so happy to learn his son also ended up in a rock band. Ian loves his family ^^ (might be wrong but hey: Headcanons)

That’s all for now! Part 2 maybe?

[sohmiya]

I haven’t dived into your inbox with hcs for a while & now I’ve realised that they give me such a serotonin boost sooo:

My Frankie x Cy one is the two of them going to Paris together and this picture - x gets taken of them and it ends up being one of Cy’s favourites.

My Miko x Evren hcs are pictures like this - x because Ev’s a hopeless romantic, but also this - x because it’s great to have a mix of aesthetic in a relationship :)

I alsoo have a Léa and Lizzy hc. I see them during the crushing stage like going out together, but with the rest of their team so they know it’s not a date but they end up sticking together the whole time and then one of their teammates takes this - x candid shot of them, and it sends Léa in a frenzy because who else has them smiling like that???

But alsooo, after that ask you sent me about what they’d want in their care packages:

I imagine Frankie and Cy going on a nice picnic date, and there are loads of daisies around and they start making cute daisy chains, and they take some home for Kei and Kenzo.

Ev getting a handwritten note from Miko, I see him keeping it forever. Like it’s in the back of his phone case, or in his back pocket, and when he’s feeling particularly down he reads it and it makes him smile. Plus, when first receiving it I also see him spamming Miko’s phone with texts like, ‘you wrote something for me???’ ‘your handwriting is so nice’ ‘I love it <33’ ‘I love you’ ‘I’m about to FaceTime you and propose’

Because Léa likes nail polish, I imagine her asking Lizzy to do her nails at some point; and they’re sitting together in Lizzy’s room, cross-legged, across from each other and Lizzy’s holding her hand and painting her nails and Léa jokingly says “you’re actually not terrible at this” “you sound surprised” and then Lea’s looking at Lizzy all adoringly and says “you have a way of doing that…surprising me in the best way when I least expect it”—and then they stop, and stare at each other and they’re all ??? because you shouldn't want to kiss, and hold, and tell your teammate how much you like them!!!

stoppp your blorbos give me such serotonin too. i know they would take such good care of me whenever i felt like shit 😪

ok omg DOES CY LIKE MILD PDA????? i always think about how he and frankie would be out in public and like the most pda i could imagine for them was cy putting an arm around her shoulders djfjkdks putting on my thinking cap once again now that i know cy doesn’t mind frankie being clingy in public sometimes 😼🧠 but the image of cy making daisy bracelets will never leave my brain again and omg imagine them giving one to kei and kenzo and cairo’s in the corner just looking at the bracelets that his siblings are getting and frankie uses it as an opportunity to win him over like “made you one too” and gives him his flower chain <333 and OH if cy’s into it, i imagine all of them taking a picture of their hands showing their matching daisy chains 🥹 and when the bracelet eventually breaks, i think frankie would try to dry press the daisies to preserve them and maybe give one to cy in case he doesn’t preserve the ones from his chain 🥰

okok evren and miko 😩💘💘 the “… caught us being mushy” in the first pic shsakskak i can vividly imagine that being milan 😭😭 and whenever ev and miko travel, miko would like vlog certain moments during the trip and evren would probably think it’s for her tiktok or other socials especially when he catches her editing the clips. but really miko’s doing it just for him hehehehehehee ALSO THE SPAM TEXTS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 EV THE CUTEST CUTIE EVER!!!!! no cause if that’s his reaction to getting a handwritten note, miko would keep making them. like leaving sticky notes around his home and if she runs out of post its, she’d text him at random times of the days and if she’s busy or too tired from practice she’d text evren like “hi baby can you go to the bookstore and get me more post its? i will love you forever 🥺” like i can just imagine them having the softest and most wholesome relationship and a competition over who can be the bigger softie despite the amazing sex LMAOOO

and i think the first time miko celebrates evren’s birthday as his gf she’d be so stressed over not only what to give him but also what to write for him (atp i think she already knows evren’s aspiration to be an author and she’d want to reach at least half his writing skills) so her search history would be full of “what to write for your boyfriend’s birthday” “birthday/love letter prompts” “free printable stationery” 😭 and as soon as she gives it to him she says “open it when i’m not here-” but evren’s already started reading the letter so she starts rambling “listen i’m not the best writer so don’t expect too much i just wanted to write you a little something-” then evren starts smiling so miko screams “DONT LAUGH” and before she can go on another tangent evren kisses her to shut her up and tells her he loves it dheehejsjwkawkNEJAKWN 💘💘💘💘😭😭😭😭😭

THE TEAM DINNER PLEASE LIZZY WOULD BE SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT TOO like she would be awake at stupid o clock just staring at the picture giggling blushing kicking her feet and zooming in on lea’s face HDSJSJSJSJ i love my two idiots <333 and the nail polish headcanon…… 🚶🏻‍♀️i really thought that was in the relationship stage until i read the last sentence JDJSJS i literally go insane over l because they exhibit partner behavior in certain situations only to find out it’s pre-relationship stage 😭😭😭😭 ok but IN THE RELATIONSHIP STAGE imagine lizzy sitting in front of lea while doing her nails and lea’s resting her chin on lizzy’s shoulder and like she’s feeling flirty so she starts planting kisses on her shoulder and neck and jsjdjssjKjsjEJSKABSJWJSJ GODDDDD LIZZY WOULD BE SQUIRMING LMFAOOO

[lopsicle]

Okay, I’m gonna try and make at least one Headcanon post a day. I’m not gonna lie, even though I only get around 5 notes, it really makes me so happy and I love anyone whose supporting me.

That being said, I’ve decided to make a post for the fandoms new favourite, Eddie Munson! (He’s my new favourite as well).

Lee:

•You can’t convince me that this adorable metal head isn’t touch starved.

•He absolutely loved cuddly tickles and tickle hugs, they’re his favourite!

•He gets really squirmy when being tickled because he isn’t tickled much.

•Teases have him WEAK, he can’t handle them without becoming a blushing mess.

•We know that he has ticklish hands from the Upside down scene, but soft little traces of his palms just has him absolutely melting into giggles.

•He’s definitely the kind of person to just deny being ticklish and try and hide his face and laugh while being tickled to keep up with his intimidating persona.

•I feel like his worst spot is his ribs. He is so weak to a ler counting his ribs like it’s genuinely unbearable to him.

•He’s really only ticklish on his upper body, but his hips, omds.

•His good have him shrieking and bouncing, it’s nearly a death spot to him.

•He gets tickled a lot in hellfire, like he’s just going with dramatic speech about this main villain, and it’s just interrupted by small giggles cause Dustin is tickling him under the table.

•I’m a multi shopper so here’s some stuff for Steddie and Chrissy x Eddie fans, I cannot remember the name.

•For Steddie, I imagine the two would be cuddling, Eddie’s head on Steve’s chest and they’re talking about who Dustin likes more, or if basketballs is better then DnD, and Steve is just like

‘Okay, that’s it!’ And starts tickling his ribs gently because he knows how bad of a spot it is

And Eddie’s just laughing into Steve’s neck refusing to give up on his point.

•The tickling would end with Eddie getting tired, and falling asleep with his face buried in Steve’s neck.

•For Chrissy and Eddie, Chrissy would be playing with his face, braiding it or just running her fingers through it, and her nails would clip against his neck and he’d just squeak.

•He didn’t want his girlfriend to know about him being ticklish, he didn’t wanna look weak, but cats out of the bag now.

‘What was that?’

‘I-it was nothing.’

‘Oh really, cause it didn’t sound like nothing to me!’

•Shed start skittering her nails along the back of his neck while he was just squirming and giggling and let out weak ‘stahahahap’s.’

•Chrissy would be really gentle with her tickling, and Eddie would realise it’s not that bad and loosen up to it.

•Of course, he’s have to get some reminders to stop hiding his blushing face, but either way, they’re still having a good time.

•Teases that get him our:

‘Awww, your laugh is adorable!’

‘What’s that? Stop? But I’ve only just begun!’

‘You’re so squirmy, it’s so cute!’

The lers that get him our: Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy and sometimes Lucas.

Ler Eddie

•You can’t tell me this man wouldn’t use the tickle monster tease.

•Like it almost fits him too well. Not playing dnd with him? Gets you a visit from the tickle monster. Not giving him enough cuddles? Gets you a visit from the tickle monster.

•He definitely laughs along with his lees, he’s just having too much fun.

•His ticking style definitely has a lot more rough housing, like he would dead ass tackle people into tickles.

•If a player is being difficult during Dnd, you can bet your bottom dollar that Eddie’s tickling them until they’re more calm.

•He definitely gives out comfort tickles to the people he’s more close with, like Dustin and the rest of the Fruity four.

•His fingers can be reeaaally dexterous when tickling from his guitar practice and he uses it to his advantage.

•His favourite teases to use are:

‘You have crossed Eddie the Banished for the last time, now face Eddie the Tickle Monster!’

‘Come on, you can handle a little more tickling!’

•With Steddie, it would be Eddie playing his guitar and Harrington saying something about his music taste, causing Eddie to just absolutely wreck him with belly tickles.

‘Come on Steve, take it back!’

‘Nehehehever!’

‘Well, good luck cause I can keep this up for a long time!’

•With Chrissy, I can imagine it being a movie night with the two of them cuddled up next to each other, and Chrissy has her feet in his lap.

•Eddie begins to do a monologue, all dramatic and overtop like, with the characters, and Chrissy’s just giggling at him

•And Eddie’s way too into character now so

‘You think my hardships are funny? Well, I’m give you something to laugh about then!’ And he starts just skittering his fingers on her feet, and Chrissy is just squirming and screaming with laughter.

‘E-ehahahaddie, stahahahahahp!’

‘You brought this on yourself, now you have to deal with the tickle monster!’

•Movie night ends with some giggly cuddles.

•Lees he gets: Mike, Dustin, Lucas, rest of the fruity four.

[sevendeadlymorons]

The brothers + undateables react to the MC bringing her small child to RAD because no one in the human world is available to babysit, and they can’t leave a three-year-old alone. Bonus points if at some point, the kid runs up to them with something in their mouth, and when questioned, the kid spits out a rock or something.

IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THIS IN MY HEAD BUT NOBODY EVER SUGGESTED IT SO OMG THIS MAY BE A BIT LONG-

Brothers + Dateables Reaction to MC Bringing Their Kid to RAD

————————————

Lucifer

He had no idea you had a child honestly but considers it none of his concern

Well, not until you asked him to help out in babysitting that is, suddenly all his stress comes back

At first, the child was hyper, running around, stealing things, climbing on his lap and distracting him from work, he can’t count the amount of times he’s had to save this child from throwing themselves out the nearest window or getting flattened by all his records and books

One time, he caught the child running around with something in their mouth only to spit out a whole rock. Easy to say he was traumatised

But he couldn’t get over how much this small child looked and acted like you and he would never tell anyone, but he completely fell in love with your kid

He’s honestly the best babysitter, checking up on them constantly and keeping them company. The headaches he got from them though were a minor set back for him

Offers to be a regular babysitter as he enjoyed time with them so much and he loves all the little quirks that they share with you

Mammon

Since when did you have a kid?! With who?!

Couldn’t believe it at first but he couldn’t deny this small human looked quite a lot like you and he honestly started to quickly fall in love

Wasn’t so keen on the idea of babysitting but he soon came around as your kid became his new sneaky thief. Lucifer would never dream about harming your child, would he?

Turns out the kid was a huge nightmare, just like his human, and he had to stop the kid from killing themself several times a day. He even had to claw a whole damn rock out of this kids mouth

He was actually pretty cool with the kid when they weren’t causing trouble, though, playing games and talking to them, making them laugh and yeah, he cried when they gave him a little hug

He got flustered at the fact this was your child he was currently looking after and he may or may not have imagined you two having your own children and looking after this one together

He may babysit the kid again… for 500 Grimm, of course, he’s not a charity

Leviathan

He’s not good with children! Don’t leave him with your child!

At first he was shocked you even had a kid. Since when?! But then you dropped this tiny human in his arms and went about your day

Not too sure what babies like at first and he tried multiple things just to entertain them for long enough that he could play his game in peace

To no avail though, the kid was a nightmare, shoving shit in their mouth and causing him to go into panic mode, knocking over his figurines and distracting him from his game

They honestly settled down eventually though as your kid crawled into his lap and snatched the phone from his hands, beginning to laugh at the game on the screen

He’s the cool babysitter. He taught them how to beat the levels in his game, talked to them about his favourite anime’s and even let them play with Henry for a while, this kid quickly had his entire heart

He doesn’t know what came over him but he weirdly wouldn’t mind looking after your kid again if you needed him to… maybe it’s just because they reminded him so much of you though

Satan

Like Lucifer, he didn’t want to be involved with your kid in all honesty

But surprise, he now has your kid wrapped up in his arms for the whole day

He tried his best to keep them company at first even if they were a nightmare. He can’t even begin to count the amount of times this kid ran off and hid and shoved stuff in their mouths only to spit out a pebble or two…

He did enjoyed reading to them though, watching them smile and clap their hands when they heard a part they found particularly amusing and then attempt to read it back in their jumbled baby language

He actually started to really like your child and the two of them went cat searching later on in the day, petting all the cats they saw and sneakily feeding them leftovers from the kitchen

He definitely liked the child more when they were worn out and more calm and they just hopped up to sat on his lap and started poorly reading the book out loud to him in gibberish, but either way, he liked watching the child learn and enjoy reading

He offers to look after the kid more often, he didn’t mind. It was your child after all

Asmodeus

Oh well aren’t you cutest little thing~?

Yeah easy to say he was immediately drawn to this tiny, adorable 3 year old of yours and happily took them in with open arms

The two of them spent the day painting eachothers nails and Asmo brushing your child’s hair, putting in little clips and bows and telling them how pretty they look

For some reason, the child was pretty behaved in Asmo’s care, not including the time they came way too close to eating nail polish and he almost had a heart attack

Gave eachother lots of hugs and he couldn’t stop complimenting them and loving every single time the kid laughed or smiled, it reminded him of you in a way, you two really were similar

He enjoyed being around the kid when they were calm and sleepy as it gave him a good opportunity to just relax without the stress of thinking the kid will eat something they’re not supposed to

He definitely will take care of them more often if you ever need a babysitter, he’d be happy to!

Beelzebub

… is it edible?

After going through the rules of ‘no eating the 3 year old’ with him, he’s actually a pretty good babysitter and took good care of them while you were busy

He always knows when they’re hungry and will feed them whatever they ask, maybe sometimes a little bit too much food though but hey, at least they look happy

He caught them with something in their mouth the one time and he immediately thought they snagged his food, but all of a sudden, they spat out a whole rock and honestly, he gets it. Sometimes he gets hungry enough to eat rocks too…

The two get along well honestly, sharing meals and watching TV and Beel even invites Belphie to help look after your kid so it was just the two of them playing with this tiny human child for hours in the attic

Beel loves the child’s smile, it reminds him of you, and their laugh and the way they give him little leg hugs. Truthfully, he loved your kid so much

Kinda sad when they have to leave; offering to babysit whenever you want him to because he just loves them so much

Belphegor

You really expect him to be able to look after a child? He’ll pass…

But before he knew it, a kid was sat on his bed and you were gone and already he was fed up

Weirdly though, looking at your kid brought him this odd inner peace kind of feeling where he just wants to hold them and never let go. Maybe it was because the kid was yours and it reminded him so much of you…?

He kind of just naps with them more than he should for the entire day. He knows 3 year olds like to sleep and that’s his specialty so he thought why not

When the two of them are awake, he spends it in the planetarium looking up at the stars and teaching the child all the names and alignments or eating way too much downstairs with Beel

There was a time where he had to forcefully snatch this stone out of the child’s mouth after running after them for hours, and then lecture them on how they can’t do that and then he had to take another nap due to being absolutely exhausted but besides from that, the child was pretty sleepy, all day

Yeah ok maybe he fell for your child and maybe he’ll babysit them again, but expect him to complain about it first

Diavolo

He’s actually really happy you came to him first to look after your child :)

Honestly, he’s such a sweetheart towards the small child, but he definitely gave in several times to those irresistible puppy eyes and ended up spoiling them

He was also sort of busy with work so the kid tended to just sit on his lap and play with his free hand and would sometimes run off without him noticing only to come back hand in hand with Barbatos who found them digging through the trash

He wasn’t any good at discipline so whenever they came back covered in trash he kinda just laughed it off and sat them back down, he’s too sweet to yell at such a small and helpless human

He can’t remember the last time he had such fun though. The child was sweet to him and he very much enjoyed watching the antics of a normal 3 year old human with hyper tendencies

They took walks around the garden together, helping them pick little flowers and putting them in their hair, watching them laugh and smile afterwards

The child reminded him of you and that just made them even more lovable to him and it was easy to say he’d without a doubt babysit your kid any time

Barbatos

Never expected you to want him to take care of your child but he’ll do his best

He was sort of busy the entire day and couldn’t take care of the child as much as he planned to but he made sure the child was happy either way

The two of them cleaned up together, Barbatos handing the kid a little feather duster and showing them how to properly clean, watching them enjoying themselves and laughing in the corner of his eye

He did have to scold them a few times for misbehaving and eating things they shouldn’t though, especially random pebbles from outside

When he wasn’t cleaning or tending to paperwork, he took the child on little walks around the garden, enjoying the way the small kid laughed and smiled at all the flowers and butterflies, their arm swinging from side to side cheerfully, causing him to smile too

Easy to say he fell in love hard pretty quickly, noticing the way they took after you and how polite and sweet they were towards him

He wouldn’t mind looking after them again, just perhaps when he’s less busy…

Simeon

He already has Luke but he supposes one more couldn’t hurt

He’s a great babysitter really, no complaints and rarely any misbehaving on the child’s end except for a few times throughout the day where he had to desperately stop them from swallowing rocks

But other than that, the child was pretty calm, following him around and laughing at his awfully made jokes; their hand normally attached to his trouser leg so they didn’t get lost

He loved how the child reminded him of you, their mannerisms and the way they acted were so similar and he couldn’t help but laugh and fall deeper in love with this tiny, peculiar human

He spent a lot of the day having a small tea party with them, sharing biscuits and hot chocolate for the child and tea for him, watching them pour him tea then laugh as he takes a sip

When he needed to do something quickly, he left the child with Luke and then came back to legitimately the most heartwarming game of monopoly between two small children he’s ever seen

He would without a doubt babysit again if you ever need him to, it’s no trouble honestly

Solomon

You’d really trust your kid with him? Really?

He’s honestly really happy you’d entrust them with him though and he’ll make sure to not get them killed

He’s actually really good at babysitting though: making sure they’re always laughing until they’re falling over, showing them cool spells to entertain them, playing games and seeing how badly he can scare the shit out of them without making them cry

Solomon’s that one cool babysitter you always have that’s cool in a bad way, like he’ll make you dinner but he’ll also burn the entire house down, but hey, at least he’s funny

He’ll randomly sneak up behind the kid and yell ‘boo’ just for the fun of it and if they cry, it’s Simeon’s problem now

He absolutely adores it when the kid follows him around and laughs at every little thing he does, it’s like he has his own personal fan

Kinda disappointed when the kid has to leave but make sure to call him to babysit again

Luke

Finally, someone that’s shorter than him!

He kinda just hangs around the kid all day, keeping them company with games and jokes and cheering them up if they start to miss you

He even attempts to teach them how to play monopoly with him but eventually finds out that 3 year olds cannot play monopoly…

Though he isn’t the one actually babysitting, he sure is a good playmate towards the child and they seem to enjoy his company at least

The days full of laughter and just two children having fun, which is a sight to see for everyone at Purgatory Hall

They’ll take walks around together, Luke immediately regretting his decisions and panicking when they put a rock in their mouth and he has to negotiate with them to spit it out

Yeah alright maybe he’s a little sad that they’re leaving so soon, so make sure they come visit again!

[k0kichiimagines]

Hi hi! Idk if requests are open or not, but if they are may I request something of Rantaro Amami? I’m just a major simp for that man <3

they are!! and you may!! hes very pretty

- mod kokichi

rantaro x reader

-> makeshift date

cws: none

a young girl was busy painting your nails, another brushed your hair an attempted to clip things in it (regardless of the length, she was determined to try), a third was showing you her different toys. others were about, the oldest of the twelve being only a few months younger then rantaro was carrying a tray of tea to offer to you, and others spoke, questioned and listened to you.

they also questioned you a lot about rantaro, since you two were together right? do you like him? who confessed first? did you kiss yet? what's your favourite date? and so on and so on.

how had you gotten into this situation? well, you'd come round a bit early for your date with your lovely rantaro, and he was a bit late, so you were currently playing with the twelve (was there really only twelve? it seemed to you as though there was at least twenty, but a mental recount assured you it was twelve and you hadn't misremembered) girls that were eager to entertain.

and speaking of rantaro being late, one of the girls had read out a message to you from your phone at your polite request, that read that the man would be home soon. and sure enough you could hear him coming though, a few of the girls rushing to go great him. (the one showing you her toys hesitating as she glanced from you to the door, rushing off when you reassured her it was fine) it was sweet how he greeted them each, swinging the younger ones around as they laughed and cheered.

he entered the room to smile at you. "i hope they weren't too much trouble?"

"none at all! they were very lovely, i felt like royalty with the amount of attention i got" he chuckled softly and shooed the girls off lightheartedly, declaring it was now his turn with you. some whined, but the older ones dragged them away as they still attempted to converse with you for longer. "they're very sweet."

"they are." he hummed in agreement. "anyway, im really sorry about our date. the traffic was horrible, and it's raining, so i think we'll have to cancel."

"thats alright, i dont mind." you carefully placed your hand on his, ensuring you didnt get nail polish on his hand or his black coated nails.

"nice colour." he commented

"chose it myself from their options."

"its very... you."

your conversation was ended by one of the younger girls walking in with a projector. "i didn't mean to overhear, but you could use to a date instead. ill get the others to find you some snacks and drinks, you could make a fort from pillows." she suggested shyly, brightening up when you both applauded the idea.

of course a few of the girls joined in, making excuses as to why they kept appearing in rantaros room, until he offered to let them stay. time passed until most were asleep, the older ones in their own room, the younger just over pillows and blankets and surrounded with empty cups and wrappers. the rain has stopped, so he quietly and quickly pulled you away, giving you a jumper of his and leading you out to the garden.

the stars were out. it was silent and content. you squeezed his hand softly, and he kissed you sweetly, a few times to be exact. you hadnt had much privacy beyond a quick peck when the girls weren't looking for most of the day. "you could stay the night, since you're already here. ill lend you clothes."

"i could." you agreed, smiling at his joyful expression when you said so.

[you-are-crazy-beautiful]

Continuation of ask:

Favourite character and why?

I think, this will probably come as no surprise that my favourite character is Miss Kieu My Vu herself. Not only in Druck, she's my favourite character in the whole skamverse!

Yeah, so you know how I said I'd probably end up writing an essay about Kieu My at some point...you probably weren't prepared for this anon, because this is legit like a thesis 😬😆

I can't tell you how much I love Kieu My, honestly, after every clip with her, I would actually say it out loud.

I had my headcanons of what I thought she was going to be like based on S5 and her activity on IG (who she follows etc.). I thought she was probably a bit insecure, a nerd, and going to be a really soft LI. When she said 'Bro, what heart', I laughed because I knew she was going to be one of the greatest LI in Skamverse, and boy is she! So one reason she is my fave is because I literally watched the character that I had written in my head, come to life in front of me! ✨

It actually really hurts me and makes me sad knowing that a minority of people in the fandom are sending DM's to the writers saying Kieu My wasn't written well and underdeveloped because they want a Kieu My S7😰😡. They did such a stunning job with her and it pains me to think they might think they didn't.

Some people are saying that her background didn't get explored, but I would argue that it definitely did, we know she has a good, supportive relationship with her parents, that she cares about her Vietnamese heritage, that she feels insecure speaking Vietnamese as she's a 3rd generation immigrant, and her parent's didn't teach her it in great detail. She feels she owes her parents for giving up their dreams and all the hard work they do to make sure she has a good life, which I really relate to because that's how I feel with my mum, even though they don't expect anything back.

Also, you never get the whole background of a LI explored🤷‍♀️ I also argue that a detailed 'background' does not = development or a character getting fleshed out. For example, Maya in SkamFr got a really detailed background, which she explained to Lola in ep 3. I love Maya, so this is not a dig at her. Yet, besides from explaining why she ghosted Lola when she found out about her addiction problem, they didn't give her much more personality than 'the sunshine' to Lola's darkness, and imo she's quite 2D. Development is loads of things, it is a personality being exposed, insecurities being addressed, change in behaviour.

Even in just episode 1, Kieu My already goes through great development. In 5x10, she is still seen as the aloof Insta and quite superficial. Then in the first clip of 6x01, you can see how awkward she is (I cannot express how good Nhungi is with the little details). The way she doesn't understand Fatou's question about what she's doing and replies straight faced that she's walking on the pavement 😂 The stuttering when she asks to use the skateboard. The first hint of her insecurity when she says she bets Fatou never fell off. Which can I just say, I love that line! Because as if Fatou would be able to use a skateboard the first time she tried. It shows Kieu My's insecurity but also how she views Fatou as this cool and collected person. Then when Fatou says she did fall off and laughs, Kieu My lets out a nervous breath to herself. Then laughter is heard, and she starts looking around self-consciously. I think it's probably a mix of thinking people may be laughing at her putting herself out there and looking like an idiot on the skateboard, along with her inner biphobia.

Then the clip in the Physics class we saw the first on screen hints at nerd Kieu My. I went nuts that day as we also got the text between Zoe and her talking about the Bio test, and how Kieu My was studying for it despite the answers being leaked. Druck said Nerd-Kieu My rights!✌ I love that Physics clip so much because as soon as the teacher finishes the question, Kieu My has her hand raised to answer, but also note she doesn't make the hand high or easy to see, showing us she doesn't draw attention to it. So, already in ep 1 you have Superficial-Kieu My -> awkward, nerd Kieu My. DEVELOPMENT!

Please don't interact with this if that's your opinion that she isn't developed. You're entitled to your opinion, but I will not read or answer it.

One of the things I was pleasantly surprised with was that although I thought she was going to be soft and insecure, I thought she would try to hide it behind the Ice queen personality more, and fight her feelings.

It was probably during the NYE clip (which is also maybe why it's my no.1 clip 🥰) that I realised they weren't going to go down the route of her holding onto the 'cool girl' image. She was so shy and could hardly keep eye contact with Fatou when she was talking about her dream of studying Mars❤

I remember there was genuinely like 2 people other than me in the Kieu My fan club when she wasn't responding, and it was strange to me because she said in ep 2 that girls scare her and she doesn't know what to do. It didn't make sense for her to ghost Fatou for any other reason, as girl had spent 11hrs talking with Fatou a week before. The moment in ep 4 when Fatou talks to her in person and she's the shook Mr Krabbe meme 😂💀

She really spent the whole week reading Fatou's texts and then f*cked it up herself by trying to get Constantin off her back. Then my girl came through texting Fatou everyday Sun-Wed, until Fatou responded on Thursday. She really grabbed the bull by the horns and straight up asked Fatou on a date in the geekiest way possible. I'm sure she suggested the table tennis bar because Fatou did, so she thought 'this must be an appropriate first date venue' 😂. The last line on Thursday when she said she can't get Fatou out of her head 🥺 The amount of vulnerability, she's so brave 🤧

Volunteering to do the project with Fatou, again showing her bravery and not caring about what anybody else thought even with the rumour going around and Constantin sitting next to her!

Turning up with the plate of Vietnamese pancakes, and doing the nervous bounce she does. Revealing to Fatou that she doesn't think she's good enough, and everybody thinks she's perfect, and the pressure she puts on herself to live up to that. Crying when she thought she had blown her chance to be with Fatou. She's too soft I can't take it! 😭Even the detail that she always tries to hold Fatou's hand for comfort 🗣🗣

Getting her girl, and then immediately setting up a date. Laying herself bare about her inner biphobia, and Fatou being the first girl she's been with, her dreams of being an astrophysicist, and nerding out about the history of the universe 🥰

I absolutely love how she's the one to initiate the first kisses and touches, she just went in with both feet and never looked back, fighting her fears to be with Fatou. She is so brave! Which makes all her gestures of love even more immense! They would be incredibly romantic gesture anyway, I mean climbing a roof in her fancy clothes *swoon*, but the fact that she is doing it, despite being terrified🗣🗣

Being a straight A student, but not caring about the presentation and just Fatou's wellbeing. I burst into tears when she asked the teacher to stop and then argued back to him.

Showing how she finds it hurtful that no one really sees her and they only care about her looks. One of the things I was constantly blown away with was how Kieu My kept being given the space to speak. There's at least 3 key scenes where she is just allowed to breathe, and talk about her fears and issues, which I think is so rare.

How she is also an absolute 🤡 Referring to Fatou as Axolotlgirl in texts, sending Fatou songs and that she can't help think about Fatou while listening to them, but not knowing why and that she is in love. When she is too scared to talk to Fatou, but got her nails cut ASAP, and was liking all of Fatou's IG posts. Telling Fatou to stay away from her because she is so hurt but then having a full on breakdown for 2 weeks, calling people at 3am, and stalking Fatou's IG, accidentally liking posts, and thinking Fatou was moving on with Ava 🤡

Being such a caring person and going to help Constantin at 11pm, no questions asked, and keeping an eye on him at the party, making sure he was drinking water. Being there for Fatou because she knows something is going on, even though she's been hurt in their last interactions. Helping her parents at the store with no complaints, but fitting in time to print old Maths workbooks to help Fatou 🥰.

Getting a gold turtle and carrying it in her pocket because she was too scared to give it to Fatou! Setting up a stargazing date in someone's bedroom in the middle of someone else's birthday party 💀

Apologising to Ava because it's the right thing to do and not because she's with Fatou.

So, as you can gather, I think Kieu My is alright 😜

Thank you to the writers and Nhungi, because you really knocked it out the park with her!❤

[ly-canthropewrites]

Love Languages; Henry Cavill Drabble

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: 1214

A/N: For my darling @yespolkadotkitty. Please excuse formatting/errors as it was quickly written on my phone. As well as, any translation errors.

Henry loves coming home. It’s the mixed combination of finally resting and recovering after months of strict working, of having some privacy and a space of his own, and also, because he gets to come home to you.

You are a piece of his life that he keeps quiet and hidden, a selfish slice of paradise that he greedily indulges in when he is not working. It is easier to keep you out of the spotlight, away from the harassment and gossip, and it makes him, and you, truly appreciate the sanctuary that your relationship has built.

He had been gone four long months filming for The Witcher, a storyline that he adores and has been engrossed in long before his casting. You had supported him when he pushed for the part, lovingly smiling from a distance as he got accepted to live out his fantasy dream. You had been with Henry long enough to know the woes of an actor and the distance was just a small compromise you had to make. He had kept in contact during his months away; calling you nightly, unable to go more than a day without hearing your voice or seeing your face on a fuzzy FaceTime. Although, you were apart, you weren’t forgotten.

~

It’s late when Henry arrives in Wales, time ticking closer to midnight when his hand meets the front door of your flat and he tries to remain silent as he enters. It’s near impossible when he is wrestling his luggage and a big bear of a dog that is called Kal, and the silent approach is not needed because you are still up anyway. At least, it seems that you are. The television in the lounge room fills the apartment with background noise and the corner lamp casts a warm light around the room. It’s cozy, homely, and just what Henry has been yearning for.

However, there are some changes from his last time at home. Brightly coloured post-it notes are attached to most items that he can see and he is amused as he ventures further into the living space, thick fingers flicking the one on the television.

Fernsehen, it reads.

The yellow note on your favourite framed print that hangs proudly on the wall, is noted as, Kunstwerk.

The words are unfamiliar to him and they dot most of the belongings and decor in the room, and Henry smiles. It looks like you’ve been busy.

It is Kal that finds you first, wet nose picking up your scent and he trots past Henry and into the kitchen, nails clipping across the floorboards.

“Wie geht es dir? es ist eine weile her, seit ich dich gesehen habe - oh!” You get startled out of your recite by a mass of black and white, an unexpected visitor nosing his way into your lap.

“Kal!” you exclaim, a mix of confusion and excitement evident as you exchange the shock for happiness.

You look up to the doorway of the kitchen to see Henry leaning against it, ruffled curls sitting on top of his pretty face and you beam.

“This is a pleasant surprise, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow,” you say, eyes never leaving your fiancee’s whilst your hands scratch at Kal’s favourite spots, appeasing the large dog who is just as happy to see you.

“I didn’t want to stay away any longer than I had to,” he states simply, ocean eyes drinking up your appearance. It has been far too long since he has seen you mere metres from him.

You share the sentiment, suddenly pushing away Kal and abandoning your book on the table, and in quick strides, you walk into his outstretched arms. The feeling of his body against yours is heaven and you melt in his embrace, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck as you hold onto him tightly. Strong arms wrap around your body, cradling you close and Henry rests his chin on top of your head.

“I’ve missed you dearly,” you confess.

“I’ve missed you more,” Henry bites back, quickly pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before a hand tilts your face up.

He kisses you slowly. Gentle lips mould against yours, the faintest touch of his tongue brushing against your bottom lip, and you sigh, curling your fingers into the fabric of his sweater as you attempt you hold onto the last of your sanity. Henry’s kisses have always made you feel weak, the blend of his taste and touch your biggest weakness and something he loves to exploit. A large hand brushes lightly along the sharpness of your jaw before cupping the nape of your neck, holding you prisoner as he takes what he has missed. He kisses you until you are breathless and panting against his lips, mouth red and swollen, eyes sparkling and dancing.

“Hey baby,” he greets you properly now, love glowing in his eyes as he gazes at you adoringly.

You chuckle, taking in a deep breath to sate the burning in your lungs, before smiling up at him.

“Hey handsome,”.

He is still holding you in his grasp, one thick arm around your waist whilst the other thumbs lightly along the juncture of your shoulders and neck.

“It looks like you’ve been preoccupied while I’ve been away,” Henry comments, a single eyebrow raised and you know that he is referring to the plethora of sticky notes littering the house. You have the audacity to blush bashfully, gnawing down on your lip as your cheeks glow red, although for reasons unknown.

“I’ve been bored whilst you have been gone, so I have started to teach myself German. I’m trying to immerse myself,” you say simply, meeting his eyes again to find pride and admiration shining.

“You are too smart for your own good, woman,” he teases, leaning down to press a firm kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment as he savours the feeling of having you back in his arms. “I am one lucky man. I get to marry a beautiful and intelligent woman,” he praises.

“And you, Mr Cavill, are too smooth for your own good,” you retort, placing a kiss of your own to the hollow of his throat before stepping out of his embrace.

He doesn’t let you go far, his hand encircling your wrist and you glance up at him, unspoken question written across your face.

“Say something to me. In German,” Henry asks.

“Ich liebe dich,”.

Henry guesses what those words mean by the expression on your face and the way you speak the words tenderly, but he asks you to repeat it in English nonetheless.

“I love you” you recite softly, lifting his hand from your wrist and guiding it to your face and you kiss his palm, your eyes never leaving his.

He swallows thickly and Henry swears he was given an angel to love, almost in disbelief at how he gets to love such a strong and amazing woman like you.

“I love you too,” he murmurs, voice wavering with a sudden kaleidoscope of emotions. Fuck, he loves you. More than words will ever be able to describe.

[discotreque]

LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGG​TGGGTGQER;​LBHAOIBVNV;​OAPBIJNVagr;h;​oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

[chromatic-lamina]

rascal: law and robin brotp fanfic

I have a lot of brotp Law and Robin in my fics, and one fic with them as a couple. I like the brotp interaction. Two cynical and supportive friends, but the writing is mostly in my multi-chaptered works, which are dark or canon divergent or both.

Anyway, I’m going to include an excerpt below. Robin’s painting Law’s toenails while they both chat about current and past loss and love. It’s from a three-chapter work that I don’t think will make much sense without knowing the rest of the world that it comes from, but hopefully this interchange can be followed and strikes a chord with some. I know the LawBin fans are thirsty. Post canon with canon-verse history and elements. This is an older piece.

🐞

Law sat back in the garden recliner in Robin’s backyard, a book over his face. He wasn’t in danger of burning easily in the late morning sun, but had no intention of making himself prey to melanoma. Robin perched on the edge of the recliner, holding one of Law's feet.

He'd spent the night at Robin’s in anticipation of the tea-towel convention they'd be visiting today. She’d spent the night trying to share his enthusiasm as he sat, tattooed arms spread on the table, poring over catalogues. His inked hands pointed out designs featuring disproportionate tulip-ensconced windmills, and disembodied body parts that had less to do with Dali and more to do with morticians.

She assumed all the creators were outliers. Commemorative tea-towels hadn’t quite taken the art world by storm yet, but they did remind her a little of Ryuunosuke, the very cute but badly drawn dragon that had struggled and succeeded in taking them all to the top of Zou. 

That was last night though and now, soon, they’d head off to gossip and gander with the convention organisers, the Dishcloth Dames, once she’d made Law pretty.

“These are so cute.” She pulled at the few black gnarly hairs curled on Law’s left big toe.

“Freak,” Law mumbled, moving his foot.

Robin laughed, righted Law’s foot and wiped the brush over the nail of his big toe.

“When did you last clip these?”

“What’s it to you? You’re the one who wanted to dress me up.”

“You’re the one who’s letting me. You’ve got old man’s feet, by the way.”

Law arched his bridge and Robin slapped it, held it down.

“The sexy surgeon’s pedes don’t please? You said they were cute?”

She studied languages. She had no difficulty with Law’s fancy Latin terms.

“Mmm. I wouldn’t go that far. But I guess you got those tattoos to distract from your tootsies.”

The ink on the bridges of his feet matched that on the back of his hands. She felt the arc of the bone against her palm as she admired the designs, although it was one of the more simple ones to adorn Law and, historically, definitely not his favourite.

“And yet, there you are, making them all presentable and shit.”

“Does Marco like them?”

“He’s got his kinks.”

“And . . . ?”

“They remain in the bedroom,” Law grinned. At times he thought the Phoenix liked every part of his body, though they’d never had a deep conversation about those particular extremities.

“Ah, you’re no fun.”

“I’ve been told.”

Law felt her move to the next digit.

“What colour are you painting them?”

“Tch.”

As if it could be anything but black.

“Well, you sent Chopper out for the colour once,” Law said to her silence.

Bubble gum. Robin snickered, remembering. Law peered at her from under his book, her shoulders rose and fell with laughter. He liked that violet t-shirt.

.

Law seemed so disinterested, and therefore, Robin guessed very trusting, when she or anyone else painted his nails. He usually paid little attention to the colour, or even the action. It was something that pleased those who found it amusing to decorate him. Just so long as they let him read whatever he was researching, he indulged them. A small compromise for a larger gain.

No way in hell could someone he didn’t trust do this, though it had been done. Robin knew that trust was hard won. Law told himself that he let them all think he was vain this way so he could go for their jugulars some other time. Plus, he liked giving the Dishcloth Dames even more to gossip about.

.

Thinking of Chopper, Law laughed as if the sound was rationed—a clipped exhalation. The tanuki reminded him of his navigator.

“Bepo. Lord, Bepo got it into his head once to paint me. Maybe he wanted to practice so he could surprise some lucky Mink in the future, and who better to be his chump than his ferocious captain?”

Robin turned to him for a second, curious, before proceeding to the next toe. Her extra hands manipulated Law’s foot for the best access. Law’s own hand kept the book in place. She liked that silver band he sometimes wore on his wrist—a solid link—a flash of sky reflected in the metal.

“His fine motor skills aren’t the best. You’ve seen his maps. Shachi and Penguin thought I’d amputated my own toes without the benefit of a Room.” A rumble lifted Law's chest and then dissolved. He smiled easily. The book didn’t cover all of his face.  “He even dabbed a paw print on my heel.”

“He chose red?” She loved that flash of teeth.

“Mmm. So. I guess it’s black?”

Robin finished the last toenail and told him not to move his feet about for a while. She then drew up the recliner next to his, lay on it, leant on her side and looked across. Law could be asleep for all she knew.

.

“Oi, talk to me endling. Of course it’s black.”

Law’s lips twitched. Only Robin could get away with that.

“So needy, terminarch. How am I meant to do that without moving?”

They may as well have just called each other Flevance and Ohara. They did at times, but neither could be feeling too off-colour when they did, or the devil fruits would come out to play. The town names as nomenclatures were off-limits to anyone else.

“Take that book off your face at least. I know you can’t read it like that.”

“Your makeup bag’s not nearby, is it?”

“Just the toes today, Dr. Death.”

Good. He was only happy for modification to go so far. He sighed, grumbled, but lifted a hand and picked the book up by its spine, and rested it—still spreadeagled—on his chest. He blinked into the sun, then tipped his head her way. Not the most comfortable of positions.

“Can I sit up?”

The grey of Law’s irises were sometimes shot through with gold. She wondered what his parents had looked like. “Give it a few.”

He turned his face skyward again, his arm over his shut lids.

.

“How about Luffy?” she asked. Luffy was before island living, before Law’s casual feet days. If they’d ever played around with nail polish, she’d never seen the results.

Law groaned.

“He approached my nails as if they were made of seastone, his hand was that shaky.” The softness in tone betrayed the annoyance in his words. “For some reason he thought a pearly pink would suit? Maybe it reminded him of marbled steak or something? Of course, he had absolutely no patience.”

Law scratched at his sideburns with his spare hand.

“He slapped it on, forgot to cap the varnish, jumped on me, bringing the sheet with him, or whatever we were lying on, wherever we were. It smeared over everything; our clothes, or more accurately, my clothes. You know, Luffy somehow always escapes his own chaos—and then he declared the whole thing stupid and boring, as if I’d dreamt up the activity and forced it on him.” Incredulity hissed through the back of his teeth.

He tapped his earrings. "Somehow the polish even managed to get on these. Nami-ya probably talked him into the whole thing for a bet."

“And you let him?”

Law didn’t need to look at Robin to know her expression; amused and bemused.

“You choose your battles.”

“Mmm.” Her captain could be quite domineering. She wondered if they were the same earrings. It wouldn’t surprise her. She’d kept the same jewellery over the years, but added to her collection with each pirates' haul. The ones that Luffy didn’t somehow swap for food.

.

She sat up and twisted her neck. They needed to get going soon.

“Phoenix?”

“Still trying to unearth his kinks?”

“Now that you bring it up.”

Law’s smile, the one Robin and only a few others ever saw, made her lips curve.

“I paint for him at times. I mean, my own nails. He’s got a lapis grounding stone, and his flames are blue when he’s in Zoan form. I try to match those shades—a balance between the two. Other times, I paint for myself.”

“Does he notice?” Marco had a grounding stone? But then again, they all had their talismans.

“Sometimes.”

“You don’t tell him?”

“Not always. Other things are more pressing.”

“Does he know you’re a freak?”

“I thought that was you.”

.

Law paused for a second. He tipped his face Robin's way again, his hand still protecting his eyes. How come she got to sit up?

“The dogs have never liked it. And you know, all that waste. It’s not really hygienic in the clinic either.”

“You operate with your toes?”

Law laughed. “When I do my hands . . . It’s not hygienic.”

.

Robin cast a glance at her back yard – the trees that offered privacy from the neighbours, the small pond. She enjoyed life in the New World now Luffy was pirate king.

“The dogs don’t like it, but Bepo can handle it?”

“Well, he’s a freak, too. Minks wear makeup, right?”

Robin nodded. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“Makeup?”

“Being a freak.”

“To the contrary, some of my best friends are freaks. You can’t all be Chopper.”

Law calls Robin a freak and gets away with it. heh. Perhaps. Anyway, I’ll put the link to the AO3 story as the source (just edited it in. This post has been up for long enough).  It’s actually about dogs and links back to another story, and is kinda sad, and features Robin, but is about Law and Marco, and there’s plenty of humour too. If you want to read it, be my guest. It’s an older one, written a few years ago. T-rated.

[soniabigcheese]

Hang In There

Whumptober Day One - Let’s Hang Out Sometime  Hanging Fandom: Thunderbirds are Go Characters: Madeline and Francois LeMaire, a brief mention of Scott Tracy and our favourite but useless Langstrom Fischler Genre: a little whump but mainly fluff

@whumptober2020

“Ugh ... where ARE they,” he whined as petulantly as he could, “I’m starting to get a nosebleed.”

Madeline groaned and tried to roll her eyes, but that only accelerated her headache further, Hanging upside down wasn’t improving her mood. And hearing her whiny husband wittering on about getting blood on the carpet didn’t help either. 

Why ... oh why ... did they stupidly agree to allowing that idiotic so-called ‘inventor’ Langstrom Fischler,  install his ‘super duper state of the art alarm system’?

Pity? Maybe, the man was down on his luck after having his licences revoked, Now, all he could do is to install alarm systems. But even then, that didn’t stop him from souping them up with his own unique flair.

In most cases, it was a simple lock out and password reset. But the LeMaires demanded something that was ‘out there’. Because, after all ... they were loaded. So they wanted the absolute best of the best. So incredibly unique that nobody else had it.

And boy, did Fischler deliver.

He worked tirelessly, blueprints scattered everywhere, as well as abandoned coffee cups until it was finally ready.

Oh yeah sure, he took them on a sprinted walkthrough of what to expect. Pulleys, lasers, flamethrowers etc. How to set it all off. He even handed them the remote control, which was now right across the other side of the room, in several pieces and a melted mess, 

What he didn’t tell them ... was how to turn the damned thing off when they were home. Nor did he supply them with a spare remote or override code.

And now, after escaping from being roasted alive, they were dangling by their ankles, with no means of escape.

“Oh, this is just great,” Francois lamented, folding his arms and pouting,

He turned to his wife, who was now swinging back and forth, trying to get some momentum ... probably.

“What are you doing?” he asked, “it’s all your fault you know. And my cheese has been left out, it’ll go off if it doesn’t go back into the fridge.”

Madeline ground her teeth. She was surprised that she hadn’t worn them down to the roots in all the years of being married to this idiot of a husband.

“I ...” she huffed in between exertions, “am ... trying .. to reach ... the panic ... button.”

Francois stopped mid whine to blink and stare at her.

“We have a panic button?”

She was too focused on swinging her whole body towards the facing wall ... and prayed that her height and the length of rope attached to her ankles ,,, was long enough for her to reach that button and activate the alarm.

At least one of them had the brains to think things through.

Fingertips lightly brushed the dark grey casing. Just Had To Flip It Open

Her eyesight started to swim and she felt nauseous. The hell with the carpet, if she threw up right now, it would serve Francois right for being such a bloody pushover. And herself too .. for going along with it.

Her nails caught the clip and she managed to flip the casing upwards. And cursed as it dropped back down. But there weren’t any handles or convenient handholds nearby, so she had to persevere.

And then Francois started whining again. Typical.

One more push ... she grabbed the flap. And it came off in her hand. Great. Just great.

At least she had direct access to the red button. 

She felt herself going seriously dizzy and hoped and prayed that she had the energy to activate that button before passing out cold. Her arms felt like lead and it took some effort to lift one of them barely a few inches. Suddenly, and without warning, it went dark. 

The last thing she remembered ... was her annoying, complaining husband, yelling her name. And the alarms going off.

Dammit. Wish they’d shut up.

Next thing she recalled ... she was waking up to a pair of sapphire blue eyes staring down at her.

“Everything okay there?”

Her response was to attempt to roll her body  What the hell was happening to the gravity? She felt as though her limbs were trying to crawl through thick custard somehow.

Rolling didn’t work, so she did the next best thing ...

... and projectile vomited all over Scott Tracy’s uniform. 

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift: ‘I was literally about to break’

By: Laura Snapes for The Guardian Date: August 24th 2019

Taylor Swift’s Nashville apartment is an Etsy fever dream, a 365-days-a-year Christmas shop, pure teenage girl id. You enter through a vestibule clad in blue velvet and covered in gilt frames bursting with fake flowers. The ceiling is painted like the night sky. Above a koi pond in the living area, a narrow staircase spirals six feet up towards a giant, pillow-lagged birdcage that probably has the best view in the city. Later, Swift will tell me she needs metaphors “to understand anything that happens to me”, and the birdcage defies you not to interpret it as a pointed comment on the contradictions of stardom.

Swift, wearing pale jeans and dip-dyed shirt, her sandy hair tied in a blue scrunchie, leads the way up the staircase to show me the view. The decor hasn’t changed since she bought this place in 2009, when she was 19. “All of these high rises are new since then,” she says, gesturing at the squat glass structures and cranes. Meanwhile her oven is still covered in stickers, more teenage diary than adult appliance.

Now 29, she has spent much of the past three years living quietly in London with her boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn, making the penthouse a kind of time capsule, a monument to youthful naivety given an unlimited budget – the years when she sang about Romeo and Juliet and wore ballgowns to awards shows; before she moved to New York and honed her slick, self-mythologising pop.

It is mid-August. This is Swift’s first UK interview in more than three years, and she seems nervous: neither presidential nor goofy (her usual defaults), but quick with a tongue-out “ugh” of regret or frustration as she picks at her glittery purple nails. We climb down from the birdcage to sit by the pond, and when the conversation turns to 2016, the year the wheels came off for her, Swift stiffens as if driving over a mile of speed bumps. After a series of bruising public spats (with Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj) in 2015, there was a high-profile standoff with Kanye West. The news that she was in a relationship with actor Tom Hiddleston, which leaked soon after, was widely dismissed as a diversionary tactic. Meanwhile, Swift went to court to prosecute a sexual assault claim, and faced a furious backlash when she failed to endorse a candidate in the 2016 presidential election, allowing the alt-right to adopt her as their “Aryan princess”.

Her critics assumed she cared only about the bottom line. The reality, Swift says, is that she was totally broken. “Every domino fell,” she says bitterly. “It became really terrifying for anyone to even know where I was. And I felt completely incapable of doing or saying anything publicly, at all. Even about my music. I always said I wouldn’t talk about what was happening personally, because that was a personal time.” She won’t get into specifics. “I just need some things that are mine,” she despairs. “Just some things.”

A year later, in 2017, Swift released her album Reputation, half high-camp heel turn, drawing on hip-hop and vaudeville (the brilliantly hammy Look What You Made Me Do), half stunned appreciation that her nascent relationship with Alwyn had weathered the storm (the soft, sensual pop of songs Delicate and Dress).

Her new album, Lover, her seventh, was released yesterday. It’s much lighter than Reputation: Swift likens writing it to feeling like “I could take a full deep breath again”. Much of it is about Alwyn: the Galway Girl-ish track London Boy lists their favourite city haunts and her newfound appreciation of watching rugby in the pub with his uni mates; on the ruminative Afterglow, she asks him to forgive her anxious tendency to assume the worst.

While she has always written about relationships, they were either teenage fantasy or a postmortem on a high-profile breakup, with exes such as Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles. But she and Alwyn have seldom been pictured together, and their relationship is the only other thing she won’t talk about. “I’ve learned that if I do, people think it’s up for discussion, and our relationship isn’t up for discussion,” she says, laughing after I attempt a stealthy angle. “If you and I were having a glass of wine right now, we’d be talking about it – but it’s just that it goes out into the world. That’s where the boundary is, and that’s where my life has become manageable. I really want to keep it feeling manageable.”

Instead, she has swapped personal disclosure for activism. Last August, Swift broke her political silence to endorse Democratic Tennessee candidate Phil Bredesen in the November 2018 senate race. Vote.org reported an unprecedented spike in voting registration after Swift’s Instagram post, while Donald Trump responded that he liked her music “about 25% less now”.

Meanwhile, her recent single You Need To Calm Down admonished homophobes and namechecked US LGBTQ rights organisation Glaad (which then saw increased donations). Swift filled her video with cameos from queer stars such as Ellen DeGeneres and Queen singer Adam Lambert, and capped it with a call to sign her petition in support of the Equality Act, which if passed would prohibit gender- and sexuality-based discrimination in the US. A video of Polish LGBTQ fans miming the track in defiance of their government’s homophobic agenda went viral. But Swift was accused of “queerbaiting” and bandwagon-jumping. You can see how she might find it hard to work out what, exactly, people want from her.

***

It was girlhood that made Swift a multimillionaire. When country music’s gatekeepers swore that housewives were the only women interested in the genre, she proved them wrong. Her self-titled debut marked the longest stay on the Billboard 200 by any album released in the decade. A potentially cloying image – corkscrew curls, lyrics thick on “daddy” and down-home values – were undercut by the fact she was evidently, endearingly, a bit of a freak, an unusual combination of intensity and artlessness. Also, she was really, really good at what she did, and not just for a teenager: her entirely self-written third album, 2010’s Speak Now, is unmatched in its devastatingly withering dismissals of awful men.

As a teenager, Swift was obsessed with VH1’s Behind The Music, the series devoted to the rise and fall of great musicians. She would forensically rewatch episodes, trying to pinpoint the moment a career went wrong. I ask her to imagine she’s watching the episode about herself and do the same thing: where was her misstep? “Oh my God,” she says, drawing a deep breath and letting her lips vibrate as she exhales. “I mean, that’s so depressing!” She thinks back and tries to deflect. “What I remember is that [the show] was always like, ‘Then we started fighting in the tour bus and then the drummer quit and the guitarist was like, “You’re not paying me enough.”’’’

But that’s not what she used to say. In interviews into her early 20s, Swift often observed that an artist fails when they lose their self-awareness, as if repeating the fact would work like an insurance against succumbing to the same fate. But did she make that mistake herself? She squeezes her nose and blows to clear a ringing in her ears before answering. “I definitely think that sometimes you don’t realise how you’re being perceived,” she says. “Pop music can feel like it’s The Hunger Games, and like we’re gladiators. And you can really lose focus of the fact that that’s how it feels because that’s how a lot of stan [fan] Twitter and tabloids and blogs make it seem – the overanalysing of everything makes it feel really intense.”

She describes the way she burned bridges in 2016 as a kind of obliviousness. “I didn’t realise it was like a classic overthrow of someone in power – where you didn’t realise the whispers behind your back, you didn’t realise the chain reaction of events that was going to make everything fall apart at the exact, perfect time for it to fall apart.”

Here’s that chain reaction in full. With her 2014 album 1989 (the year she was born), Swift transcended country stardom, becoming as ubiquitous as Beyoncé. For the first time she vocally embraced feminism, something she had rejected in her teens; but, after a while, it seemed to amount to not much more than a lot of pictures of her hanging out with her “squad”, a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham. The squad very much did not include her former friend Katy Perry, whom Swift targeted in her song Bad Blood, as part of what seemed like a painfully overblown dispute about some backing dancers. Then, when Nicki Minaj tweeted that MTV’s 2015 Video Music awards had rewarded white women at the expense of women of colour, multiple-nominee Swift took it personally, responding: “Maybe one of the men took your slot.” For someone prone to talking about the haters, she quickly became her own worst enemy.

Her old adversary Kanye West resurfaced in February 2016. In 2009, West had invaded Swift’s stage at the MTV VMAs to protest against her victory over Beyoncé in the female video of the year category. It remains the peak of interest in Swift on Google Trends, and the conflict between them has become such a cornerstone of celebrity journalism that it’s hard to remember it lay dormant for nearly seven years – until West released his song Famous. “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex,” he rapped. “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The video depicted a Swift mannequin naked in bed with men including Trump.

Swift loudly condemned both; although she had discussed the track with West, she said she had never agreed to the “bitch” lyric or the video. West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, released a heavily edited clip that showed Swift at least agreeing to the “sex” line on the phone with West, if not the “bitch” part. Swift pleaded the technicality, but it made no difference: when Kardashian went on Twitter to describe her as a snake, the comparison stuck and the singer found herself very publicly “cancelled” – the incident taken as “proof” of Swift’s insincerity. So she went away.

Swift says she stopped trying to explain herself, even though she “definitely” could have. As she worked on Reputation, she was also writing “a think-piece a day that I knew I would never publish: the stuff I would say, and the different facets of the situation that nobody knew”. If she could exonerate herself, why didn’t she? She leans forward. “Here’s why,” she says conspiratorially. “Because when people are in a hate frenzy and they find something to mutually hate together, it bonds them. And anything you say is in an echo chamber of mockery.”

She compares that year to being hit by a tidal wave. “You can either stand there and let the wave crash into you, and you can try as hard as you can to fight something that’s more powerful and bigger than you,” she says. “Or you can dive under the water, hold your breath, wait for it to pass and while you’re down there, try to learn something. Why was I in that part of the ocean? There were clearly signs that said: Rip tide! Undertow! Don’t swim! There are no lifeguards!” She’s on a roll. “Why was I there? Why was I trusting people I trusted? Why was I letting people into my life the way I was letting them in? What was I doing that caused this?”

After the incident with Minaj, her critics started pointing out a narrative of “white victimhood” in Swift’s career. Speaking slowly and carefully, she says she came to understand “a lot about how my privilege allowed me to not have to learn about white privilege. I didn’t know about it as a kid, and that is privilege itself, you know? And that’s something that I’m still trying to educate myself on every day. How can I see where people are coming from, and understand the pain that comes with the history of our world?”

She also accepts some responsibility for her overexposure, and for some of the tabloid drama. If she didn’t wish a friend happy birthday on Instagram, there would be reports about severed friendships, even if they had celebrated together. “Because we didn’t post about it, it didn’t happen – and I realised I had done that,” she says. “I created an expectation that everything in my life that happened, people would see.”

But she also says she couldn’t win. “I’m kinda used to being gaslit by now,” she drawls wearily. “And I think it happens to women so often that, as we get older and see how the world works, we’re able to see through what is gaslighting. So I’m able to look at 1989 and go – KITTIES!” She breaks off as an assistant walks in with Swift’s three beloved cats, stars of her Instagram feed, back from the vet before they fly to England this week. Benjamin, Olivia and Meredith haughtily circle our feet (they are scared of the koi) as Swift resumes her train of thought, back to the release of 1989 and the subsequent fallout. “Oh my God, they were mad at me for smiling a lot and quote-unquote acting fake. And then they were mad at me that I was upset and bitter and kicking back.” The rules kept changing.

***

Swift’s new album comes with printed excerpts from her diaries. On 29 August 2016, she wrote in her girlish, bubble writing: “This summer is the apocalypse.” As the incident with West and Kardashian unfolded, she was preparing for her court case against radio DJ David Mueller, who was fired in 2013 after Swift reported him for putting his hand up her dress at a meet-and–greet event. He sued her for defamation; she countersued for sexual assault.

“Having dealt with a few of them, narcissists basically subscribe to a belief system that they should be able to do and say whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want to,” Swift says now, talking at full pelt. “And if we – as anyone else in the world, but specifically women – react to that, well, we’re not allowed to. We’re not allowed to have a reaction to their actions.”

In summer 2016 she was in legal depositions, practising her testimony. “You’re supposed to be really polite to everyone,” she says. But by the time she got to court in August 2017, “something snapped, I think”. She laughs. Her testimony was sharp and uncompromising. She refused to allow Mueller’s lawyers to blame her or her security guards; when asked if she could see the incident, Swift said no, because “my ass is in the back of my body”. It was a brilliant, rude defence.

“You’re supposed to behave yourself in court and say ‘rear end’,” she says with mock politesse. “The other lawyer was saying, ‘When did he touch your backside?’ And I was like, ‘ASS! Call it what it is!’” She claps between each word. But despite the acclaim for her testimony and eventual victory (she asked for one symbolic dollar), she still felt belittled. It was two months prior to the beginning of the #MeToo movement. “Even this case was literally twisted so hard that people were calling it the ‘butt-grab case’. They were saying I sued him because there’s this narrative that I want to sue everyone. That was one of the reasons why the summer was the apocalypse.”

She never wanted the assault to be made public. Have there been other instances she has dealt with privately? “Actually, no,” she says soberly. “I’m really lucky that it hadn’t happened to me before. But that was one of the reasons it was so traumatising. I just didn’t know that could happen. It was really brazen, in front of seven people.” She has since had security cameras installed at every meet-and-greet she does, deliberately pointed at her lower half. “If something happens again, we can prove it with video footage from every angle,” she says.

The allegations about Harvey Weinstein came out soon after she won her case. The film producer had asked her to write a song for the romantic comedy One Chance, which earned her second Golden Globe nomination. Weinstein also got her a supporting role in the 2014 sci-fi movie The Giver, and attended the launch party for 1989. But she says they were never alone together.

“He’d call my management and be like, ‘Does she have a song for this film?’ And I’d be like, ‘Here it is,’” she says dispassionately. “And then I’d be at the Golden Globes. I absolutely never hung out. And I would get a vibe – I would never vouch for him. I believe women who come forward, I believe victims who come forward, I believe men who come forward.” Swift inhales, flustered. She says Weinstein never propositioned her. “If you listen to the stories, he picked people who were vulnerable, in his opinion. It seemed like it was a power thing. So, to me, that doesn’t say anything – that I wasn’t in that situation.”

Meanwhile, Donald Trump was more than nine months into his presidency, and still Swift had not taken a position. But the idea that a pop star could ever have impeded his path to the White House seemed increasingly naive. In hindsight, the demand that Swift speak up looks less about politics and more about her identity (white, rich, powerful) and a moralistic need for her to redeem herself – as if nobody else had ever acted on a vindictive instinct, or blundered publicly.

But she resisted what might have been an easy return to public favour. Although Reputation contained softer love songs, it was better known for its brittle, vengeful side (see This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things). She describes that side of the album now as a “bit of a persona”, and its hip-hop-influenced production as “a complete defence mechanism”. Personally, I thought she had never been more relatable, trashing the contract of pious relatability that traps young women in the public eye.

***

It was the assault trial, and watching the rights of LGBTQ friends be eroded, that finally politicised her, Swift says. “The things that happen to you in your life are what develop your political opinions. I was living in this Obama eight-year paradise of, you go, you cast your vote, the person you vote for wins, everyone’s happy!” she says. “This whole thing, the last three, four years, it completely blindsided a lot of us, me included.”

She recently said she was “dismayed” when a friend pointed out that her position on gay rights wasn’t obvious (what if she had a gay son, he asked), hence this summer’s course correction with the single You Need To Calm Down (“You’re comin’ at my friends like a missile/Why are you mad?/When you could be GLAAD?”). Didn’t she feel equally dismayed that her politics weren’t clear? “I did,” she insists, “and I hate to admit this, but I felt that I wasn’t educated enough on it. Because I hadn’t actively tried to learn about politics in a way that I felt was necessary for me, making statements that go out to hundreds of millions of people.”

She explains her inner conflict. “I come from country music. The number one thing they absolutely drill into you as a country artist, and you can ask any other country artist this, is ‘Don’t be like the Dixie Chicks!’” In 2003, the Texan country trio denounced the Iraq war, saying they were “ashamed” to share a home state with George W Bush. There was a boycott, and an event where a bulldozer crushed their CDs. “I watched country music snuff that candle out. The most amazing group we had, just because they talked about politics. And they were getting death threats. They were made such an example that basically every country artist that came after that, every label tells you, ‘Just do not get involved, no matter what.’

“And then, you know, if there was a time for me to get involved…” Swift pauses. “The worst part of the timing of what happened in 2016 was I felt completely voiceless. I just felt like, oh God, who would want me? Honestly.” She would otherwise have endorsed Hillary Clinton? “Of course,” she says sincerely. “I just felt completely, ugh, just useless. And maybe even like a hindrance.”

I suggest that, thinking selfishly, her coming out for Clinton might have made people like her. “I wasn’t thinking like that,” she stresses. “I was just trying to protect my mental health – not read the news very much, go cast my vote, tell people to vote. I just knew what I could handle and I knew what I couldn’t. I was literally about to break. For a while.” Did she seek therapy? “That stuff I just really wanna keep personal, if that’s OK,” she says.

She resists blaming anyone else for her political silence. Her emergence as a Democrat came after she left Big Machine, the label she signed to at 15. (They are now at loggerheads after label head Scott Borchetta sold the company, and the rights to Swift’s first six albums, to Kanye West’s manager, Scooter Braun.) Had Borchetta ever advised her against speaking out? She exhales. “It was just me and my life, and also doing a lot of self-reflection about how I did feel really remorseful for not saying anything. I wanted to try and help in any way that I could, the next time I got a chance. I didn’t help, I didn’t feel capable of it – and as soon as I can, I’m going to.”

Swift was once known for throwing extravagant 4 July parties at her Rhode Island mansion. The Instagram posts from these star-studded events – at which guests wore matching stars-and-stripes bikinis and onesies – probably supported a significant chunk of the celebrity news industry GDP. But in 2017, they stopped. “The horror!” wrote Cosmopolitan, citing “reasons that remain a mystery” for their disappearance. It wasn’t “squad” strife or the unavailability of matching cozzies that brought the parties to an end, but Swift’s disillusionment with her country, she says.

There is a smart song about this on the new album – the track that should have been the first single, instead of the cartoonish ME!. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince is a forlorn, gothic ballad in the vein of Lana Del Rey that uses high-school imagery to dismantle American nationalism: “The whole school is rolling fake dice/You play stupid games/You win stupid prizes,” she sings with disdain. “Boys will be boys then/Where are the wise men?”

As an ambitious 11-year-old, she worked out that singing the national anthem at sports games was the quickest way to get in front of a large audience. When did she start feeling conflicted about what America stands for? She gives another emphatic ugh. “It was the fact that all the dirtiest tricks in the book were used and it worked,” she says. “The thing I can’t get over right now is gaslighting the American public into being like” – she adopts a sanctimonious tone – “‘If you hate the president, you hate America.’ We’re a democracy – at least, we’re supposed to be – where you’re allowed to disagree, dissent, debate.” She doesn’t use Trump’s name. “I really think that he thinks this is an autocracy.”

As we speak, Tennessee lawmakers are trying to impose a near-total ban on abortion. Swift has staunchly defended her “Tennessee values” in recent months. What’s her position? “I mean, obviously, I’m pro-choice, and I just can’t believe this is happening,” she says. She looks close to tears. “I can’t believe we’re here. It’s really shocking and awful. And I just wanna do everything I can for 2020. I wanna figure out exactly how I can help, what are the most effective ways to help. ’Cause this is just…” She sighs again. “This is not it.”

***

It is easy to forget that the point of all this is that a teenage Taylor Swiftwanted to write love songs. Nemeses and negativity are now so entrenched in her public persona that it’s hard to know how she can get back to that, though she seems to want to. At the end of Daylight, the new album’s dreamy final song, there’s a spoken-word section: “I want to be defined by the things that I love,” she says as the music fades. “Not the things that I hate, not the things I’m afraid of, the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.” As well as the songs written for Alwyn, there is one for her mother, who recently experienced a cancer relapse: “You make the best of a bad deal/I just pretend it isn’t real,” Swift sings, backed by the Dixie Chicks.

How does writing about her personal life work if she’s setting clearer boundaries? “It actually made me feel more free,” she says. “I’ve always had this habit of never really going into detail about exactly what situation inspired what thing, but even more so now.” This is only half true: in the past, Swift wasn’t shy of a level of detail that invited fans to figure out specific truths about her relationships. And when I tell her that Lover feels a more emotionally guarded album, she bristles. “I know the difference between making art and living your life like a reality star,” she says. “And then even if it’s hard for other people to grasp, my definition is really clear.”

Even so, Swift begins Lover by addressing an adversary, opening with a song called I Forgot That You Existed (“it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference”), presumably aimed at Kanye West, a track that slightly defeats its premise by existing. But it sweeps aside old dramas to confront Swift’s real nemesis, herself. “I never grew up/It’s getting so old,” she laments on The Archer.

She has had to learn not to pre-empt disaster, nor to run from it. Her life has been defined by relationships, friendships and business relationships that started and ended very publicly (though she and Perry are friends again). At the same time, the rules around celebrity engagement have evolved beyond recognition in her 15 years of fame. Rather than trying to adapt to them, she’s now asking herself: “How do you learn to maintain? How do you learn not to have these phantom disasters in your head that you play out, and how do you stop yourself from sabotage – because the panic mechanism in your brain is telling you that something must go wrong.” For her, this is what growing up is. “You can’t just make cut-and-dry decisions in life. A lot of things are a negotiation and a grey area and a dance of how to figure it out.”

And so this time, Swift is sticking around. In December she will turn 30, marking the point after which more than half her life will have been lived in public. She’ll start her new decade with a stronger self-preservationist streak, and a looser grip (as well as a cameo in Cats). “You can’t micromanage life, it turns out,” she says, drily.

When Swift finally answered my question about the moment she would choose in the VH1 Behind The Music episode about herself, the one where her career turned, she said she hoped it wouldn’t focus on her “apocalypse” summer of 2016. “Maybe this is wishful thinking,” she said, “but I’d like to think it would be in a couple of years.” It’s funny to hear her hope that the worst is still to come while sitting in her fairytale living room, the cats pacing: a pragmatist at odds with her romantic monument to teenage dreams. But it sounds something like perspective.

[lukatheselkie]

HMC - “I’ve missed you. But it seems like you’re not happy to see me.”

@hetaliamondaychallenge

Pairing: England x OC (Wisp)

Warnings: Non-consensual touching/nipping

Some info about the OC I used here! He’s a fae; more specifically, half Ghillie Dhu and half Pixie. I did extensive research and I am being as respectful as I can every time I write him. He’s lived in a birch forest his entire life, though he was discovered by the nations when he was very young. They took him into their care since he’s an orphan, and even though he lives in a birch forest in Scotland now, they still visit and sometimes take him home for a visit. His home is in the forest though. This mentions bows; Lichtenstein gifts him bows, and he absolutely loves them. Some of the others have taken up this habit, so he has an arrangement of bows. Most of the time there’s more bow than hair to be seen. If anyone wants to learn more about him, here’s a link to his form! My profile pic is one of my favourite PiCrews of him.

    Wisp lifts his head up when the sounds of the forest around him get quieter. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s there. He had been splashing in the creek near where he sleeps at night, waiting for his bows to be cleaned. The sudden change in atmosphere warrants his attention though, so he grabs his bows out of the water and places them on a nearby rock. He sniffs the air, and frowns at the unfamiliar scent. Who could be visiting him? He clips the bows back into his hair, not wanting to go anywhere without them, and makes his way through the trees silently.

    Wisp lifts his head up when the sounds of the forest around him get quieter. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s there. He had been splashing in the creek near where he sleeps at night, waiting for his bows to be cleaned. The sudden change in atmosphere warrants his attention though, so he grabs his bows out of the water and places them on a nearby rock. He sniffs the air, and frowns at the unfamiliar scent. Who could be visiting him? He clips the bows back into his hair, not wanting to go anywhere without them, and makes his way through the trees silently.

    When he gets to the edge of the forest he camouflages himself, just in case. Usually an unfamiliar scent means fae hunter, but not always. It’s dusk, so it’s unlikely the person is a child. But if they are, he has to get to them before anything else does. A bit of water falls into his eyes, and he wipes frantically at it. He should have shaken off his bows! It’s too late now; doing so would surely draw attention. He sniffs at the air again, and follows the scent a few meters to his right. He sighs in relief when he sees Arthur, but it’s short-lived. He un-camouflages himself and stamps over to him, albeit still within the tree line. “Arthur!”

    “Wisp!” A smile lights up his face. It’s been a long time since he’s seen that smile, but it doesn’t make him any less upset. Arthur pauses when he sees the frown on the fae’s face. “I’ve missed you. But it seems like you’re not happy to see me.” Wisp bristles angrily.

    “One-twenty! One-twenty days! No Arthur! Been gone! One-twenty days!” Arthur sighs heavily. “Wisp angry! Been long!” He looks around for something to throw at Arthur, but doesn't find anything that won’t hurt him. Another drop of water falls into his eye, reminding him of the bows. He yanks off the orange one Arthur brought him last time they saw each other, and throws it at him. “Why!? Why long!?” Arthur sighs again, picking up the wet bow and turning it over in his hands a few times.

    “I absolutely deserved that. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy. I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s what happened. I brought you a gift.” Wisp doesn’t stop frowning. He doesn’t even perk up at the mention of a gift. “What’s wrong?” Arthur steps closer. “Are you that upset? I’m sorry. I’ll try to visit every month, if that will make you happy.” He furrows his brows. “A month is thirty days, more or less. Who taught you how to count, anyway?”

    “Natalia.” He answers immediately.

    “Ah. Has she been by a lot?”

    “Every seven day. That week, she says.” Arthur nods.

    “Yes, that is a week. Do you know how long I was gone, then?” Wisp scrunches up his nose in concentration.

    “Four month.” Arthur nods. Wisp smiles brightly, and hops around excitedly. “Got right! Got right!” He giggles happily. “Got right, Arthur!” He turns to him, and freezes when he catches his scent again.

    “There’s something else wrong. You don’t ever frown. What’s wrong?”

    “Smell different.” Arthur visibly relaxes.

    “Is that all? Thank goodness. I thought it was something serious.”

    “Is serious! Why smell different!?” Arthur holds up the hand without the bow in it.

    “Alright, alright. It’s either my coat or my cologne. Christmas passed while I was gone and-”

    “Chris… mas?” Arthur stares at him for a long moment.

    “I forgot you don’t know what that is. It’s easy to take things for granted, I suppose. To put it short, it’s a celebration of friends and family. We get each other gifts and spend time together.” Wisp brings his hand up to the bows in his hair.

    “Christmas all time for Wisp.” He smiles fondly at the memories of receiving the bows, and spending time with the people that had given them to him after. Normally, he makes something for them as a thank you.

    “You could say that. But it’s on a certain day.” Wisp frowns deeply. “The sentiment is still there though!” Arthur rushes to say, not wanting to see him sad. “Speaking of sentiment, will you open your gift now?” He tugs a small present out of his coat pocket. “It has wrapping on it. You’ll have to tear it off first. Gently.” He knows how the fae is. Unless told to be gentle, he’s not. That could damage the gift, especially with his long nails.

    “Still angry smell different.” Arthur laughs quietly.

    “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Did I scare you?” He nods, sulking. “My apologies. But you know it now, right? I’ll try not to return with the smell, but if I do you don’t have to worry again.” Wisp bows his head and kicks at the ground.

    “...Like smell.” Arthur has to hold back his grin. He holds out the gift and his bow. He takes them, sticks the bow back in his hair, and pokes at the wrapping paper on the gift.

    “My hands are freezing from the water on your bow. How do you handle it? Do you need some blankets?”

    “No. Wisp fine! Warm. Not sure why.”

    “You might be able to regulate your temperature. I’ll ask Gwen when I see her next.” Wisp perks up at the mention of the doctor.

    “Gwen! Wanna see Gwen!” He wiggles excitedly.

    “I’ll tell her, I promise.” Wisp nods, and focuses on the gift in his hand again. He tugs at the wrapping paper, and holds each piece out to Arthur when he pulls them off. He tilts his head when he sees something shiny in the air pocket. “It’s a necklace. I made sure it’s long enough to pull on and off, so if it gets snagged on something it won’t hurt you. It’s strong, too, so it shouldn’t break. But if it does, I can have it repaired. I-I hope you like it.” He feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and turns away. Wisp grabs the shiny chain and pulls it over his head, looking down at it happily. It’s off-white, and there’s something hanging on it. He grabs the hanging thing, and brings it up to his nose to look at. It’s a shiny birch leaf, attached to the chain by something the same colour as the necklace.

    “Pretty! Thank!” He runs out of the forest, knocking into Arthur. They tumble onto the ground, Wisp nipping at his cheeks and ears. “Thank! Thank thank thank!”

    “Alright, alright! You don’t have to say it so much!” He laughs breathlessly. “I’m glad you like it.” He turns his head in an attempt to hide his deepening blush, but it gives Wisp better access to his ear. He grunts quietly when he bites down hard enough he knows it’s going to leave a bruise. “Wisp, please. You’re too excited again.” The fae scrambles off Arthur, stumbling over his apology.

    “S… Ap… So so… Apollo…” Arthur pulls him into a hug so he’ll stop. Wisp cuddles into him with a sigh of content. “Sorry,” he mumbles out, closing his eyes. “Thank for gift. Necklace. Very pretty. Love.” Arthur kisses his temple, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He should just tell Wisp he loves him. But he has no idea if the man knows what romantic love is. He should start there.     “I’m glad you like it. I have a serious question for you though.” He tilts his head to show he’s listening. “Do you know what romantic love is?” He nods.

    “Natalia taught.”

    “You two are close. Why did she teach you?”

    “So Wisp could find someone!” He seems proud of his words. “Someone pretty. Kind. Sweet. Loving. Someone that let Wisp be Wisp. Not upset. Someone that can take Wisp hyperness! Not get tired it. Someone…” He frowns deeply. “No word! No word!!!” Arthur pins his arms to his side.

    “Calm down. Please. I know you get aggravated when you can’t find a word for something, but please don’t. Not today. Not here. If we were in your forest, maybe, but not outside.” Wisp takes a few deep breaths.

    “Arthur right. Dangerous outside forest. Dangerous not house.” He nuzzles him, then licks his cheek.

    “I do wish you would at least warn me before you do that. I know you’re struggling with the concept of consent, but you can at least warn us. Please.”

    “Wisp try! Sorry.” He hangs his head. Arthur watches him for a long moment.

    “Don’t look so sad. Just keep it in mind for next time.” Wisp nods frantically.

    “Will!” He looks up and smiles at Arthur.

    “Your hair is an absolute mess.” He smoothes out the damp strands, shaking his head. “Were you washing your bows? I’m sorry I interrupted.”

    “Fine!” He giggles. “Nice see!” Arthur’s heart thumps at his cute expression.

    “Have you found the person you think Natalia was talking about?” Wisp shakes his head slowly.

    “Maybe… Don’t know…” He scrunches up his nose and brows.

    “If you have someone in mind, do you mind telling me who?” Instead of saying something, Wisp just points at him. “Me?” He nods sheepishly. Arthur can’t help but smile. “I had you in mind too.” Wisp lets out a happy puff of air through his nose.

    “Yay!” He giggles, and hops up to bounce around excitedly. “Love Arthur! Arthur love back!” He bounds around the Brit, who’s still on the ground. “Oh! Can date!?”

    “How do you know that word?”

    “Natalia show movie! Many! Know kiss too. Can kiss?” Arthur bows his head to hide his blush. Wisp crawls into his lap to look at his face, worrying that he may have upset him.

    “Yes, we can kiss,” he practically whispers. Wisp hums happily, and presses his lips to Arthur’s. The kiss is sloppy, and a bit too smiley, but it’s absolutely perfect to him.

[enbeast]

hey yall I noticed that there don't appear to be any transcripts for A Study In Ichor, so I figured I'd type some up, please note I am literally just going off the audio and I might get some stuff wrong.

mission 1

:readmore:

CLIP ONE

Workhouse Owner (WO): RUN FASTER, WORKER FIVE, THAT TREADMILL WON'T TURN ITSELF. As you can see, Master Yao, our workhouse not only provides food and shelter for three hundred inmates but makes a healthy profit too. For example, Worker Five has been running on one of Cubbad's “treadmills” for a mere twelve hours today and has already milled five hundred pounds of flour. Got the odd nail in it but it's good enough for the Rutherhive slums [laughs]

Sam Yao (SY): Twelve hours? Without a break?

WO: The alternative of life on the streets is an excellent motivator. And with your investment we will be able to build even more machinery, maybe even increase rations to three bowls of gruel a day.

SY: I want to use my inheritance for good, and if I'm honest, I have some concerns about your worker's wellbeing.

WO: Oooh I seee~ Yes, I suppose it is rather fashionable nowadays to worry about unfortunates, but I assure you Master Yao, once you've had to make your way in the world, like myself or your uncle, a fine man, you'll learn that revenue is the important thing, not how it's made.

(note, as Sam talks there approaching footsteps)

SY: Surely, there's a way to- OW!

WO: YOU THERE, IN THE CAP, watch where you're going, you just ran into a potential investor. Where's your worker number?

Pick pocket (PP): (in a stilted cockney accent) Sorry, Guv'ner.

SY: No, no, it's fine, I was in the way.

WO: It is not fine. Young lady, break time isn't for another three hours. Get back to work. (retreating footsteps from PP) I'm dreadfully sorry, Master Yao, this workhouse is full of ingrates.

SY: My watch! It's gone, the chain's been snapped...

WO: That worker stole it, she's a pickpocket! Worker Five get off that treadmill and chase after her DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT THAT WATCH!

SY: Uh, I'll come with you, Worker Five, I don't want to make a fuss, but that watch is important to me. Come on, let's run.

CLIP TWO:

SY: Hey, mind your step, Worker Five, I've heard about this, rows of people crushing animal bones to make fertiliser. Ugh, the smell is awful. Pickpocket just ran out into the street, we've got to follow her! Five, I hope you don't mind if I call you Five, through that door! (sound of door opening) There! I see her, she's heading towards the Temm's tunnel, it goes under the river from here to Whopee, an engineering marvel- a-apparently, my uncle's an engineer, he's building an underground railway. I try to keep up with the industry but... It doesn't come naturally... I mean, I-I know the tunnel was built using Bruno Cockren's tunnelling shield but I still barely understand what that even is, I don't ac-ARGH! Oh! (gasping) Five! If you hadn't pulled me aside that horse and cart would have run me over! Ugh, I-I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention, but well I-I don't often get to talk to anyone who isn't my uncle, or someone who's interested in my inheritance... Not that I need all that money, of course. I just want to be sure it's going to help people, it's what my parents would have wanted. That's why the watch is so important to me, it was the last thing they ever gave me before they died. Reminds me of what's important. If, if it was any other watch, I'd... just have let that pickpocket keep it, I'm sure she needs it more than I do... Ah, she's just hopped the barrier at the Temm's tunnel, it's in that round red brick building the entrance shaft is underneath, come on, Five, let's experience this engineering marvel first-hand, quickly, before we lose her!

CLIP THREE

SY: Ah, this tunnel is incredible, can you believe we're RUNNING under the Temms, makes me feel a bit funny... Mind you, we're here now that it's safe, uh, some of the people that built it died in the flood... Oh! Maybe I should spend my inheritance on something that'll make projects like this safer for workers, what do you reckon Five? Oh, Oh no... The pickpocket's already climbing the stairs! Ah- she's getting away! (panting) Whopping's all alleys, if she slips down a back street, we'll never find her! Up the stairs! Run!

CLIP FOUR

SY: (panting) And we're out of the tunnel, the pickpocket just ducked down that alley, after her. (Running sounds) Uh, we've got you cornered, now please. Give me my watch back.

Amelia Spens, formerly known as the Pickpocket (AS): Oh, I don't think so. Lads! (sounds of several sets of footsteps closing in) You're surrounded.

SY: Five, it's a gang of pickpockets.

AS: I'd have been happy with just the watch, but since you followed me, allow me to introduce the Abel Street Gang, they're all over the rooftops and they've all got knives.

SY: Please, don't hurt us, Five here has nothing to do with this!

AS: There'll be no need for bloodshed as long as you both give me all the money you're carrying.

SY: Five doesn't have anything, but, uh, (mumbling, followed by the sound of a heavy bag of coins hitting the ground) That's all of mine.

AS: W-he-hell, aren't we the wealthy one.

SY: I-I've got more! Lots more! And I'll give it to you, I promise, just please return the watch. It's my most treasured possession.

AS: I see! Not an especially experienced negotiator, are you. Hmm, let's take a look at this watch, see what's so special about it. Hmm, pearl face, silver plating, and... an engraving...

SY: It's uh... it's Chinese, those are my parent's names, and that's mine. Sam Yao.

AS: Y-you're not even going to try and make up an identity? What- (laughing) You're lucky I'm just a pickpocket and not someone REALLY nefarious, I- Helloo, what's this? (music starts playing)

SY: There's a tiny music box behind the face, that melody was special to them.

AS: Ooh, a bit twee if you ask me.

SY: So you'll give it back?

AS: I might have sold it back to you for a few sovereigns before you told me who you were, but as my luck would have it there just happens to be something that only you can do for me, Sam Yao. Your uncle's digging a railway underneath London, isn't he?

SY: H-how did you know that?

AS: I read the Society Pages, in my line of work one needs to know who's on course to inherit what fortune, and which Saloons they're likely to fall out of after one too many brandies.

SY: My fortunes from my parents, not my uncle.

AS: Yes, but you're his ward, or at least you were until you came of age recently, correct?

SY: Yes.

AS: There's something I want to show you. Follow me and keep up the pace. There are far more unsavoury types than me in Whopping and they'll take more than your watch. Run!

CLIP FIVE

SY: What's your name?

AS: I'm not telling you my real one, but you can call me Amelia.

SY: Uh, if you don't mind me saying, Amelia, you're quite well spoken for a pickpocket.

AS: Well, even an educated woman is not replete with options in this day and age. We might have a woman on the throne but I had to choose between penury, marriage to a seventy year old rector, or this.

SY: Well, it's not easy for me either, I'm lucky I have money because, well, being Chinese, people have misconceptions.

AS: Yes, you really should choose your friends wisely. Down this side street.

SY: Ugh, Mm. What IS that smell?

AS: Cover your mouths with your handkerchiefs, both of you.

SY: It's alright, Five, you can use mine.

AS: The smell is coming from that huge pipe, you see the emblem embossed on it?

SY: Ah! It's from my uncle's engineering company!

AS: That's right. The pipe is a ventilation shaft from his railway tunnel, now let's get away from it so we can breathe.

SY: (Gasping) Whoah, Oh that's better. What is going on down there?

AS: That's what I want you to find out.

WO (distant): MASTER YAO! WORKER FIVE!

SY: Ugh, it's the workhouse owner.

WO: (approaching footsteps) (panting) Master Yao, I followed you all the way from Rutherhive, one of my workers told me this woman is actually part of the Abel Street Gang! She only came to the workhouse to target you.

AS: This worker, was he a handsome fellow? Smarmy grin?

WO: That's right!

AS: Brent. (Sigh) That'll teach me to use former paramours as spies. Fine. (gun clicking) Hands up!

SY: Amelia! Don't shoot him!

AS: I'm not not aiming it at him, Sam, I'm aiming it at you.

WO: Steady on!

AS: Mr Workhouse Owner, unless you want future investors to know you got this one killed, I'd advise you to stop following us. Sam, Five, come with me or I'll shoot you both. Run!

CLIP SIX

AS: We lost the Workhouse owner, time to put this away (clicking sound)

SY: We would have come with you, Amelia, there was no need for the gun!

AS: Don't tell me how to take a hostage. Now listen carefully, for reasons that elude me, not everyone who falls on hard times opts for criminality, some people would honestly rather perform manual labour, and your uncle happens to be a proliferate employer of such eccentrics. I wouldn't care, except that many of his employees have family in the Abel Street Gang.

SY: I can ask my uncle to pay them more. But... He doesn't really listen to me. I'm Rather naive, apparently.

AS: Well, fortunately I have no need of your dreadful negotiating skills, I need you to solve an even stickier problem. Several of your uncle's workers have gone missing. Even though I've repeatedly explained to my gang that it's a waste of time caring about anything besides one's self, they're refusing to work until they learn what's happened to their loved ones. It's hurting my bottom line.

SY: That's awful... For the workers.

AS: Ahh, they're probably dead. If WE can barely breathe the noxious fumes near the ventilation shafts, what do you think it's like underground?

SY: I can't imagine! Those poor people... I'll stop what's happening, I promise, even if I have to spend every last penny of my inheritance.

AS: Do that and I'll give you your watch back.

SY: It's a deal.

AS: Mm, my favourite words. Righto, well, if that's settled then I'm off. There's a debutante ball this evening and I need to be in good time if I'm going to harvest some pearls. (retreating footsteps)

SY: There she goes. Look, Five, ah, I feel a bit awkward asking you this, but, would you maybe consider working with me? You were quick out there, really impressive, I've just moved into a house by myself and I could do with a hand. I promise it'll be a lot easier than the workhouse. I know it's been a funny old day, but for me it's actually been nice having someone to talk to. Talk at. Sorry, I know I go on a bit. But if you want to let's shake on it. You did save my life. Great! Now, I'm starving, how about some steak and oyster pie? Maybe we'll come up with some ideas about what happened to those missing workers over dinner., then tomorrow, we'll visit my uncle. Lord Earnest Van Ark.

[collected-sports-bra]

ZR Audio Mashups MASTERLIST

Hey everyone,

I figured, since there are so many new people in the fandom, they might not be aware of this, but I used to make lots and lots of ZR Audio Mashups back in the days.

Basically what I did was take bits and pieces of ZR Audio, mash it together with music, and voila, I created something new.

I’ve put together a master list of all the mashups I did (at least I hope these are all of them, I’m not really sure how many I made over the years), and I hope you’ll check them out and enjoy!

Jolly Five Niner / Run, just run!

I created my first ZR Audio Mashup as a background for this video. Making it I realised i love audio way more than video, so this is also the only Mashup with visuals. I’m still quite fond of it, although the video quality as such is not that great... (This was originally created in August 2013! Almost 7 years ago! Wow...)

BGM: This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home

Spoiler Warning: It has audio clips from all over Season 1, but it’s not very spoiler-y as such. It’s more of a ... trailer for ZR

A Field im Hampshire

I love this one, I truly do!

It’s a mashup about Jack and Eugene, how they met, their travel adventures, and how they are pretty much useless without each other ;) It’s the first mashup where I tried to come up with my own sort of ... story line, using audio from different missions, radio mode clips, and seasons.

BGM: Titiyo - Come Along

Spoiler Warning: Season 1 and Season 2 (up to Mission 5, Ghosts)

Keep Calm and Listen to Radio Cabel

A fun mash up with some of my favourite Radio Mode Clips, with some feel good music. Just, you know, silly and goofy!

BGM: Neil Cicierega/Lemon Demon (yes, the Potter Pals guy) - Fine

Spoiler Warning: Season 1 and Season 2 Radio Mode (I feel as long as you have finished S2 M5, Ghosts, and you don’t mind some mild Season 2 spoilers, you should be fine...)

No Matter What it Takes

I made this during a round of Iron Zombies (where Zalia would give us an input, like a picture, and everyone had an hour to create fanfic, fanart, whatever). So for creating it within one hour, I think it turned out pretty well.

It’s all about A Voice in the Dark.

BGM: Skylar Grey - I’m Coming Home

Spoiler Warning: Spoilers for Season 1 Mission 7-used-to-be-9 “A Voice in the Dark”

Day of Tears

Another Iron Zombies mashup I created within one hour.

It is about Simon, and his upbringing, his grandmother, hell, and his fear of death.

BGM: Mozart - Lacrimosa (sung by Capella Vocalis - I’m one of the singers here)

Spoiler Warning: All of Season 2

The Sweetest Price

This was a reward for the Podcast Detected Indigogo Campaign. The backer wanted something about Sam being protective of Runner Five, also including the early Season 2 Missions with Nadia. So that’s what I created. It’s actually kinda sweet :)

BGM: Nine Inch Nails - The Day the World Went Away (as requested)

Spoiler Warning: Up to Season 2 Mission 4

The Real Charlie’s Angels Combo

Another Indigogo Reward. A mashup about the one and only Sara Smith, and her relationship with Runner 5 over the course of Season 1.

BGM: The Clash - London Calling (as requested)

Spoiler Warning: All of Season 1 (including the finale!)

Go Back To Sleep

I think this is the mashup I worked on the hardest. It was another indiegogo reward, all about the events of Season 3 Missions 41-44. It’s about slowly losing control, being influenced by forces pretending to know what’s best for you, no longer knowing friend from foe, and that whispering voices in your head (”Pay no mind what other voices say - They don’t care about you - Like I do - Just stay with me - save and ignorant...)

For this, I used three different songs as background music, that I edited together, to create the eerie but also brutal feeling I was going for. 

The mashup is best enjoyed with headphones!

BGM: A Perfect Circle - Lullaby, Pet, Counting Bodies Like Sheep

Spoiler Warning: up to Season 3, Mission 44 (Welcome Home)

3 ZR Audio Quickies:

These are very short audio mashups that are ... honestly ... really silly ;)

1. The Things We Lost:

Look, there is really no excuse for this. It was a meme, okay, and I wanted in on it. So I created something stupid and I love it...

Spoiler Warning: Season 2 Mission 8 (Chicken Payback)

2. Sam’s got a theory

Naomi Alderman is a Buffy Fan, okay? So you can’t convince me that this ISN’T what she was thinking about when she made Janine suggest “Bunnies” might be behind it all... Basically, I did what she would have wanted me to do.. maybe...

Spoiler Warning: I honestly don’t remember what mission this is from. I’d say something in Season 2 or early Season 3. It doesn’t really matter cause this is not spoiler-y. It’s just ... weird...

3. To Prevent Aging

You remember that coke commercial with the very handsome man taking off his shirt in the middle of an office full of women?

Yeah, me too. And... look... I don’t ... I don’t even know why I did this, I just really wanted to do it, I guess. So I did. Enjoy! Like Janine is enjoying Simon doing Yoga ;)

Spoiler Warnings: Season 2 Mission “Zombies, Stretch”, but really it doesn’t really matter because it’s not plot related. One could argue there is no plot in this mash up. Because there isn’t.

That’s it, I think. These are all the mash ups I could find. There is one that is still half finished on my computer, and I might get around to finishing it one day.

I hope you enjoy my mash ups and find something you like!

Love Love Peace Peace