#it was meant to be funny

[beebfreeb]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[pouletpourri]

the real reason kaufmo abstracted

[clownboybebop]

if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!

1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.

2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.

3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes

it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.

It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.

so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know

[kuchipark]

I stare at my candle, cupping it. “So this is it?” I manage to croak.

It lets out a meek cough. “This is it.”

“It’s my fault.” Despite my attempts, a tear manages to escape me; it cascades down my cheek. I can’t bring myself to wipe it away. “I should have never let you burn for five, consecutive hours while I took a nap.”

“Come on now,” it reaches up to wipe my tear. “Don’t say that, you needed that nap.”

Another tear spills, and another… and another, and before I know it, I’m sobbing. Tears gush from my eyes, with no dam to halt them. “I didn’t know,” I whimper. “I didn’t know I was gonna fall asleep, I just—” I swallow. “I just wanted to close my eyes for a bit…”

“Hey, you couldn’t have known. It’s okay,” the candle smiles with resignation. “My time has come.”

It has accepted its fate, but I don’t know if I can. It feels like just yesterday when I lit it for the first time. In a way, it was.

“What am I supposed to do without you? How am I supposed to make my room look cozy now?”

The candle flickers, its wick is almost gone. “You’ll be okay without me. You can always buy another candle.”

“I can’t…” I say.

“Yes, you can,” the candle assures. It flickers again.

I shake my head. “No, I literally can’t — I got, like, two bucks…”

Another flicker. Any second now it’ll die out, leaving me cold and dark, but not before it can share its wisdom with me, one more time. “Get… those… tea… lights…” it wheezes. “They… are… cheap… as fuck…”

And before I get to respond, smoke replaces fire, cold replaces warmth, dark replaces light. This was its end. My 9 bucks is now officially gone.

I never should have lit it, I should have just looked at it as it stood, idly, on my window sill.

But I guess that isn’t what candles are for.

They are meant to burn, no matter how badly it hurts to see your favorite candle die out. Burning is their purpose, if you never light it, you’ll take that purpose away. And after all, isn’t it better to have lived with purpose for a short while, than to live forever, with no purpose at all.

[homoexualpigeon]

Having basically no followers is amazing because I can say anything and nobody will hear me.

Having basically no followers is awful and so sad because I can say anything and nobody will hear me.

[callonpeevesie]

I'm onto something I'm telling you

[wtaffy]

PERSEUS-

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3

[sabertoothwalrus]

you guys asked for more tallman/modern au chilshi. I was gonna do a whole lore dump with all my headcanons but it ended up being bullshit comics

[aqueductaquarii]

egghead law...on one hand i think he would choose battle-ready clothing but also end up pressing the hawaiian shirt button at the last second. on the other hand i think he would wear a shaka-esque coat...

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Vanessa loves the Vanny “animatronic”

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

(yes, I drew the masterpiece :D❤)

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

its so fucking absurd how necro cav marriage is frowned upon as if getting married is somehow more inappropriate than whatever the fuck silas and colum have going on. ianthe tridentarius has the legitimate in-universe grounds to look at magnus and abigail and think "wow how unnatural. thank god I'm normal"

[dykecubes]

Ppl in 2020: if you like Minecraft YouTubers you should kill yourself NOWWWWW

Those same ppl now: so are you taking the chicken or the beef

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[pastabaguette]

internalized homophobia

i’ve done nothing but work on —> s33k the highb100d for a week, so i took a break and did some humanstuck.