#it was like this before i transitioned too because i was intersex

[wirewitchviolet]

So I was already sitting down to ramble about something, and turns out this post and this big reply under it tie in pretty well, so, here we go.

There are enough bespoke issues trans people justifiably feel very passionate about, and enough different experiences different trans people have that it is damn easy to end up in a huge fight because one person tried to make a nice simple statement for a clueless cis audience, but viewed through another person's lens it reads like some kind of attack. And it certainly never helps that bigots are actively out there constantly trying to co-op messages and sew infighting that any statement no matter how clear and good WILL get weaponized.

Before I get into the above, the go-to example I was planning to use was "you don't have to transition to be trans." There's a ton of ways you can read that which are great and worth echoing. For instance, "hey, if you've worked out that people got your gender wrong, you are trans and can come hang out in the trans clubhouse and ask for advice and all that without proving it through medical intervention."

Or, "hey don't be a weird gatekeeping creep who only recognizes people's gender if they don't jump through a particular medical hoop like taking a particular medication or get a particular surgery, which might not be something they even want due to risks, side effects, or not seeing it as a problem to begin with, and/or might not be something they CAN do anything about, because the typical medical treatment would not work on them for any number of reasons/is prohibitively expensive/too socially dangerous to go forward with in their current situation/is only even done by like a couple dozen specialists in the world who are booked out years in advance and many of whom actively discriminate against all sorts of potential patients."

You can see how it's nice to have a short catchy phrase. BUT it's absolutely a reality that awful bigots these days are going with the wildly bad faith and not even remotely true reading of "it's OK to deny transition-related care to trans people, because they don't actually NEED it!"

And you know, regardless of where you're encountering this phrase, you should always bear in mind those points about being totally valid and welcome in the community without a signed doctor's note, and how it's completely valid to be, oh, a woman who's hung like a horse and proud of it and such women shouldn't be treated like they need to go see someone about that, give people the benefit of the doubt that they're using it in such a sense if there's any chance they are, and at the same time be on the lookout for bad faith creeps misusing it and taking whatever steps are necessary to prevent them from to or about any trans person again unless/until they somehow manage to stop being a hateful piece of garbage and somehow become a decent human being.

Phew. All THAT out of the, way, I take a fair deal of issue with seeing the comment above me saying "the 'not transgender' people in the poster are clearly intersex" because holy hell is that a bad faith reading. All the concerns regarding intersex kids following that jumping off point are super valid and worth mention, of course. Doctors are constantly looking at baby's junk, going "huh, that doesn't look right, lemme do a quick surgery I'm not even necessarily trained in to get this looking more like whichever configuration I personally prefer the aesthetics of here, that probably won't cause any long term memory problems or trauma and there's almost a 50/50 shot I'm guessing right about what this kid'll want things looking like down here in a couple decades!" And that is just incredibly messed up. As is the practice of just throwing, say, testosterone boosters at someone perceived to be a teenage boy who doesn't seem "manly enough" to someone, which is a general queer kid concern, sure.

But none of that is going on in this poster. What's going on is kids getting hit with puberty-related symptoms they do not want (specifically boobs beards and voice changes), clearly stating this, and asking for medical help to make them not happen. If we wanna play Occam's Razor with the kids plainly labelled as "not transgender," boys growing breasts is called gynecomastia and a quick Google search confirms that... it is completely useless as a search engine because it's giving me 20 conflicting reputable-looking sources ranging from 1% to 70% of teenage boys. Facial hair on cis women is also really freaking common, to a point where it being relatively rare if you're white specifically makes it feel more like a racism thing than anything.

The real thing to remember though is that the obvious reason this poster exists is to get people who are completely uneducated on any of this and have been steadily exposed to propaganda from transphobes for their entire lives to the point where they have a hard time imagining trans people as actual human beings to consider the concept of HRT from a clear perspective by taking us out of the equation for a moment and just making them try to empathise with kids dealing with some of the same stuff, and it has to make that point in less time than it takes someone to finish walking past this telephone pole or wherever else someone might place this. And... OK if I'm really honest it's probably still too wordy and reliant on people having SOME idea of what being trans even means, but it's pretty good within those restrictions! Don't overthink it! Really don't project stuff that absolutely is not actually on there onto it! Focus more on actual bigots and doing something about what they're doing than nitpicking people who are doing good effective activism work you'd phrase differently!

This is the first time i’ve seen a pro-trans poster in a long time and i hope whoever put it up is having a good day, it made me feel a little less alone.

Hamilton, New Zealand

[drowfag]

i do not condone misogyny, but i can understand the male victims who are bitter about feminism and it lack of nuance towards the female offender. And the constant sanctimonious praise and shielding of women against crimes that they get away with because of patriarchy and the idea that women can't be sexually violent as men. if you must insist on supporting all victims, why is your resources still gender segregated, and include trans and gay men in that segregation who have very high rates of assault but no support? why is the only support group on campus "femme identified only" yet you don't make a space for masc people as an alternative?

the whole, it makes women feel unsafe argument is fucking horseshit if your abuser was female or you are a gay man and your abuser was male. i can't forcibly segregate myself from both men and women because both people abused me. what about the lesbian victims of abusive female partners? I am still attracted to men even though I was raped by one and I still have share spaces with him regardless of my fear.

I was raped as a man and as a woman. Where exactly do I belong when it comes to supportive spaces because i'm certainly not welcomed in your supposed feminist space because i pass as male now. where do i go? or am i less of a victim now that i look like a man? you can't support all victims, then turn some of us away because it's less convenient for some of you.

the fact of the matter is that we matter less. we are unimportant and worth forgetting about. your insectionality theory doesn't serve me when i'm left to fend for myself.

[this-is-exorsexism]

I just saw a post about how transmasc and transfem aren't labels you can "opt out of," how if you transition like this then you ARE transmasc and if you transition like that then you ARE transfem, whether you like it or not. Because it's just a "fact" about your transition, not an identity.

And it just made me so sad. I'm transneutral. Sure, my transition might look binary to an outside observer. Yeah, people might look at me now and see me as far more masculine than I was before I transitioned. But that's other people. Not me.

Does this count as exorsexism? I feel like it does but I'm also worried that they're right, and maybe my identity is offensive and maybe I AM lying for not calling myself transmasc. I don't know. I just feel really bad and insecure right now.

this is exorsexism.

through and through.

i'm assuming this post was by a trans person, because cis people tend to be less educated about trans terminology in the first place, and will often just parrot whatever is popular but not think of it any further.

a lot of trans people, even some nonbinary people, seem to be really invested in upholding the gender binary in its various forms. "these are the two options you have, and you cannot be neither" is just gender binary 2.0.

people want to group especially nonbinary people by our AGAB, because a lot of people can't handle the fact that us simply saying "i'm nonbinary" doesn't give them any information about our AGAB, about "where we came from" the way that "trans woman" or "trans man" does. never mind the fact that some intersex people who were (c)afab are trans women and some intersex people who were (c)amab are trans men, but these people usually aren't just exorsexist, they're intersexist too. if the term "trans woman" doesn't necessarily tell you what gender someone was assigned at birth anymore, apparently the term loses all its meaning, since everything hinges on AGAB... somehow. but i digress.

and people have definitely started using transmasculine and transfeminine as "acceptable" shorthands for AGAB language, whether they admit it or not. if you were afab, your only options are cis woman, trans man or transmasculine nonbinary, and if you're transmasculine nonbinary we treat you like a man anyway, and vice versa for amab folk.

bonus points if it all hinges on transition steps, i.e. if you were amab and take oestrogen, you're automatically transfem regardless of how you identify (and if you don't take enough transition steps you're basically cis anyway - their line of thinking, not mine).

because we're definitely dismantling cissexism by still acting as if hormones are inherently masculine or feminine. we're definitely deconstructing the gender binary by just changing the words from male and female to transmasc and transfem. (heavy sarcasm)

so much of it goes back to people really just upholding cissexism and the binary, probably without even realising it. by saying it's about "what we were born as" or about how we transition, people are just using the same violence on nonbinary people as cis people use on all trans people. just because cis people assume you're masculine, trans people somehow think it's what you want and do it as well.

transmasc and transfem nonbinary people obviously exist. it's part of many people's identity. others actually do just use the term as a shorthand to what they're transitioning from, where they're transitioning to, how they're transitioning, certain experiences of transmisia, etc. and that's fine - if you use it like that for yourself and don't force it onto others.

and people also love framing words that have a heavy nonbinary association as somehow offensive, dirty or otherwise bad. people will go so far to avoid saying the word "nonbinary", they hate the word "enby", in fact, they hate when we have any term that is more specific than nonbinary, and they also hate our trans- terms, be it transneutral, transandrogynous or the many others. they really hate when we're actually somewhat equal.

[sweetzscore]

What if I fakeposted about my ocs. What then

-24 notes

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Me: [after talking about aliens n space for 3 hours] I dunno I just think they’re kinda neat

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Your record is actually four hours

🛸 ang3l-baby

Sometimes I just black out and talk about doctor who a lot too

32 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

Ive had girlfriends before which is really weird because I am the most idiotic loser ever. Bitch what do you see in me

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

This is true you are very much a loser

🎬 samthehotdog follow

I second this

💣 emooooeeeekid

Listen here you little shits

128 notes

🎬 samthehotdog follow

I’m very publicly intersex and my favourite thing about this is that I am a high schooler and my classmates get rlly confused all the time and its so funny

🎬 samthehotdog

I like to ask them why they’re so interested in my dick (or lack thereof) and they usually just combust or something

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

high schoolers are very invasive an insensitive so I like to give them the funniest answers possible

I once told a kid that when I was born they asked me if I wanted a dick or a vag and I couldn’t decide so they gave me one of those multicolour pens where you click down the things to get the new colour

🎬 samthehotdog

That. Is the best thing I have ever heard

241 notes

🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr follow

Theres so many fucking fags at my school I hate this stupid place

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

What are you doing on this website

🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr

Stfu tranny

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

I go to OP’s school and I can confirm he is very stupid and mean and nobody with any sense actually likes him

🎬 samthehotdog follow

Lmaooo

339 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

Vent under the cut

read more

💣 emooooeeeekid

Fuckin got you didn’t I

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Go fuck yourself

💣 emooooeeeekid

Don’t mind if I do

🧢 jord-the-trans follow

There’s something wrong with both of you

63 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

>be me

>have a crush on a guy

>guy likes someone else

>other guy is homophobic, used to be my friend but dropped me when I came out

>dont have the heart to tell my crush

Hes gonna get his heart broken either way and like :((( UGHH i just want him to like me

🎬 samthehotdog follow

Oof thats rough pal

🧢 jord-the-trans follow

Yeah Im real sorry abt that Val :(

A little off topic but I didn’t know you had a crush?

💣 emooooeeeekid

Haha nope. No crush here. I dont have any crushes nosireee

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Real subtle mate

42 notes

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Im just gonna make it clear right now if you don’t think that straight aces are lgbt i need you to get the fuck off my blog right now

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

are you vagueposting abt your boyfriend’s haters

🛸 ang3l-baby

Die mad

402 notes

anonymous asked: wait you have a boyfriend ???

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Actually @:reedinthemarsh isn’t my boyfriend he’s my wife

🍬 reedinthemarsh follow

When did we get married also when did I transition???

🛸 ang3l-baby

It’s only a matter of time

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

GELP???

26 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

My parents think that me being non-binary might be confusing for my little brothers but I explained it to them once and they immediately understood, said “okay” and then asked me what my 2nd favourite colour was

13 notes

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

URL check

Cosmic: nope

Girl: nope

Thing: sure why not

[spacelazarwolf]

Also wrt the “transition for trans women is so much harder” like…we could do that too you know! There are absolutely aspects of transition that are easier one way, but that doesn’t make the entire process of transitioning easier in one direction than any other. It is no more helpful to say trans women have it harder because they have facial hair and other permanent effects of androgens that aren’t solved by HRT than it is for me to say “oh trans women have it so much easier because they can take estrogen to grow tits and just wear breastforms to pass in the meantime, whereas I have to get major surgery before people will stop misgendering me cuz my tits are so big that even binding isn’t enough.”

Everything i said there may be factually true, but that doesn’t make it helpful or reasonable to say. Breastforms are expensive, and not every trans girl on HRT will have an easy time growing breasts. Everyone has a different experience transitioning. Not every trans guy has an easy time growing facial hair, or binding, or with voice cracks. Some transfemmes have almost no facial or body hair, naturally softer facial features.

(Some transfemmes even naturally have tits! Lookin at you people with gynecomastia and other related intersex conditions!)

Like, especially with that person who said you couldn’t transition because transfems envy your body. Like, i just genuinely cannot imagine what gets in someone’s head to make them say things like “it’s transphobic to…*checks notes* be a trans man.” I hate to be the one to break this to them, but lots of trans men feel the same way about transfemmes! I sure did! Especially before i came out to myself I was so envious of my transfemme friends flat chests and deeper voices. I couldn’t understand why anyone would give up what I saw as clearly the better deal in favor of what I had. Does that mean it was somehow bigoted of them to transition? No! That’s literally the weirdest thing anyone has ever said!

seriously like. transition isn't easy for any of us! even in a perfect world it would still be stressful bc ur body is changing a ton!! instead of arguing abt who has it worse, we should be trading clothes and playing dnd.

[checkeredisaster]

Unpleasant gradient angst and backstory (headcanons), rubs hands together deviously

Unpleasant gradient was made by accident in Dr Retros lab years ago, forming from fungi or alien bacteria or whatever probably

Dr Retro tended to ignore Unpleasant for obvious reasons, she didn't even really know that it was sentient and capable of forming emotions.

After a while of Unpleasant developing and maturing, it left out of curiosity

Since Unpleasant is mute in some way, it had no idea how to communicate it's feelings and it was especially hard after it (intersex and often perceived as masculine) realised it was transfem, infected and Jeremy being the only ones who realised quick.

Unpleasant, being a shapeshifter of some sort, attempted to grow breasts as a way to transition, not only for herself but so everyone would understand.

Since shapeshifting into a form she was happy with was difficult from the start, (long hair, a human body type, a mouth, etc)

It was a slow and painful process trying to twist her body into having breasts, it feels like all of the pain women get from developing breasts in their lifetime, except only through the course of a few weeks, overlapping the pain.

Infected of course immediately knew, being the first person she tried to tell and communicate it with, and being one of the very very few people she could go to for comfort.

(this brought them closer together too)

After Dr Retro found out about Unpleasant struggling, she couldn't help but feel guilty like she had been neglecting her own child when it needed her the most.

Alot of the other NPCS had no clue, it came to the point where when she was insulted by them, the way they perceived her hurt twice as much as it did before since she knew she couldn't do anything to tell them to at LEAST refer to her correctly. She was trapped in the way other people perceived her.

Unpleasant formed an attachment to Infected, never wanting to go anywhere without him because infected was the only one (other than Jeremy but get out this isn't about you) who would defend and get protective over Unpleasant, he was her only way of communication when it came to the other NPCS.

That's all I can think of now

[yeetspace]

It's crazy how people don't realize that patriarchy ISN'T just "when men"

Cuz like no. That hypothetical trans guy isn't entering the patriarchy because he's trans, he IS HOWEVER experiencing multiple layers of intersectional trauma from existing in a society that enacts violence on anything that isn't seen as masculine from before transition AND you actively trying to say he has some kind of magical invisible privilege that has never been there because you can only conceptualize someone transitioning into what you've been lied to assume is "the enemy" as being done as a power move, because you transphobically assume that someone's doing it for any incentive other than that person's happiness.

Like my gamer that constant accusations of having that so-called patriarchal privilege is ONE of those intersectional aggressions, separate from the overt acts of violence that already happens to trans people, now additionally being downplayed because of some perceived privilege in their cases a lot of the time. This is some "Republicans actively Go out of their way to remove all possible ability to do stuff for us, and then once people start getting desperate and just killing themselves over it they point to that as the reason why they took that stuff in the first place" type argument. Like it becomes obvious it was meant and done so in a "I finally did it kind of way" but being pointed out like a "think of the children" kind of way cuz it's real easy to lie to people when you say think of the children first, in this case "think of the victims of patriarchy" while actively stepping over people who are direct victims of the patriarchy.

I know it's a crazy concept to get through some of y'all's heads, but like multiple groups can have multiple different AND same delineating pieces of like information. There can be intersectional terminology AND intrasectional terminology.

Cuz no bitch, a trans man talking about HIS PERSONAL LIFE and the SPECIFIC TRAUMA HE FACED as someone who was forced to experience the inherent traumas that come with being socialized growing up as someone societally seen and presented as female, is not him "trying to make you feel bad for someone who's privileged". Because he doesn't have The Patriarchy™.

Patriarchy is when the homogeneous concept of a straight white guy is going to have as much leeway as he can possible in the systems and in terms of getting proper justice and treatment. Because patriarchy isn't when men, patriarchy is when the societal standard of "whiteness" & "man & woman" is upheld.

A standard that in its own right is completely arbitrary because any delineation of human, other than just "Person" is needless categorization or at the very secondary aspect the main part, the fact that that's a person first, as the existence of intersex people shows, what's considered the standard of sex even Is just random characteristics people who either didn't know better or could benefit off of making sure people thought about it this way, had decided are "the correct ones" amongst a sea of what is actually just how reality works; no two people's bodies being the same, just the same as no two people's unique existences are, and each individual strand of DNA is unique.

And this is coming from a trans girl. Because I'm on that intersectionality shit. No one's free till we all are, it's pretty simple. The best way to do that is to not try and get angry at someone else for... *Checks notes* sharing their personal life because they used terminology that applies to them as well, that you personally didn't want to hear used that way even though there is no reasoning why it shouldn't be as it also can apply to him too

and also separately because for some reason that's a different problem but from the same crowd, it's not making up a new word if you don't want people to be using what you've decided Is "your" terminology, and either way what even do you mean by "making up a new word" all of them are fuck you. Because it's just people trying to be bigoted from within which is FUCKING WILD TO ME. LIKE???

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.

a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.

i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.

i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.

i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.

this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.

i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.

i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.

anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?

What are these acronyms?

[our-transgender-experiences]

I need to know if other people experience this too because I feel really alone in this. Do any other trans people not identify with their AGAB at all? Like okay so I am involved in a group and when talking to some members outside of it they'll say things like "us AFAB nonbinary/trans people" or I'll be referred to as such and it just feels weird cause it feels like that was not me ever?? I feel like for me has absolutely nothing to do with how I experience my current identity or who I am now

It feels like I'm being reduced down to something I personally never identified with and sometimes it even feels like people are just trying to say "woman light"

Not saying that people who identify with the label arent valid (especially considering it's a borrowed label from the intersex community and I myself am perisex) and a lot of people find community and use it to explain how they feel which absolutely no hate to them and I get it(especially when talking about medical transitioning), but like for me it feels really uncomfortable to constantly have people placing AFAB before my actual identity and being referred to as my AGAB rather than who I actually am.

It feels like (in some circles) that it's put above/treated as more important than who I actually am

.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Anecdotally I definitely would say my center of gravity has shifted much lower since I went on estrogen! Propioception is difficult for me, so exactly where is unclear, but I think somewhere below my belly button at this point.

Though funnily enough, even before then, when I did the basics of parkour dad would always get onto me about focusing too much on my lower body and not enough on my upper body--my weight was distributed relatively top-heavy but something about what felt like the most natural way to move always prioritized the lower body.

AHHHHH this is so cool!!!

I love hearing from other trans people the different ways we're noticing our embodiment of gender change (or NOT change!!!!) in response to our medical transitions. I just think it's so much fun learning more about how and why bodies do things lol

Anyway, I really think it makes sense that it would shift! Because like. It is working in coordination with your strongest force applying muscles surely! So surely it tracks for the CoG to get "dragged" up or down a bit depending on how that has changed in response to our hormones???

I would REALLY love to know more about that tho! Like WHY is it happening and HOW (not least of which because I'm about 8-9 months on T now and I want to know how I might need to learn to carry my body differently)

But ALSO now that you mention it, I think you might be onto something????

Because my center of gravity is "high"! At least in that I need railings set around like. Lower rib cage height??? In order to feel less like I'm "following my CoG over" into that vertigo feeling? And I would say that I have always tended towards a leading CoG somewhere between my belly button and my bra band.

Okay I'm officially curious! Roll call! Where do people notice their center of gravity BEFORE and AFTER medical transition or HRT of any kind - intersex siblings, this includes us - (and what hormones got added to your system) if you've done that?

And secondary rollcall! If you HAVEN'T started medical transition or HRT of any kind, what is your gender, and where is your center of gravity? I don't actually know that it will be helpful in this to include whether you're cis, gnc, trans, nonbinary, etc, but feel free to include that as you're comfortable!

I'm going to reblog this shortly (or link to a new post as appropriate -> HERE BE LINK IF THERE BE LINK) with the "low" CoG poll

[edai-crplpnk]

Some Team 8 + Sand Sibs chara sheets

I procrastinated writing yesterday by doing little chara sheets for my polycule AU.

Kiba and Shino have been dating since they were teens. Shino and Hinata have been dating since college. Kankurou and Kiba start dating at 22/25 (I am writing this fic). Hinata and Kankurou may or may not have some queerplatonic relationship going on eventually.

I used this picrew for the sheets!

Additional facts!

Kiba:

Inuzuka Kiba isn't his legal name, he is still officially registered under his deadname and his father's family name. He might change it once his father's dead, probably not before that since he doesn't want him to know about it. The rest of the polycule handle most of his mail so he doesn't have to deal with it unless necessary.

He is Japanese through his father and Filipino through Tsume.

Hana is his half-sister (different father).

He transitioned in his late teens and has been on T + post-top surgery for some years now.

He got a hysterectomy for endometriosis.

He doesn't smoke much anymore, mostly vapes, which allows him to control CBD/THC levels and ratio better.

Kankurou:

He doesn't identify as trans, but might identify as non-binary somewhere along the way. He's fine with being seen as a man and conveniently goes by he/him, but is honestly a bit too psychotic and dissociated to really have an opinion about his gender and gendered body.

He is Jewish through his mother, but was raised by Baki (here, Rasa's half-brother) so most of his relationship with Judaism and Jewishness is self-taught reconnection.

He had only one brief relationship before Kiba and had sort of settled for the idea of not trying to look for partners (both romantically and sexually) because it was a lot of work and socialisation and it didn't feel all that too important for him, but hey, shit happens. (Kiba happens, and it's good shit.)

He gets a colectomy and stoma bag for his ulcerative colitis around 25 (again, the KankuKiba fic is about that). He probably won't try to get a reversal surgery in the future because he hates surgeries and hospitals.

Shino:

He mostly uses Makaton and text-to-speech as AAC. The former is easier for short indications and requests in daily life, and the latter for more complex conversations.

He gets on opioid replacement therapy sometime during his teens, although still injects occasionally as an adult.

He was initially assigned male at birth, and then reassigned female during his childhood, which he (very understandably) did not live well. Shibi defended his right to choose his gender presentation and refuse further intersex surgeries after that, and he's been mostly living as a boy/man since then. He half identifies as a cis man, half not because dissociation and plurality and trauma make gender complicated but he's sort of working through it. He'd still consider his relationship with Hinata straight, and his relationship with Kiba gay.

His parents broke up when he was a kid (in part over the decisions made about him) and Shibi raised him for the most part. He sometimes sees his mother as an adult, but they're relationship is not very good.

Hinata:

It's been a bit of a struggle to slowly acclimate Hiashi to her being part of a polyamorous relationship, but he does like Shino a lot, so that helped. (He doesn't have an excellent opinion of Kiba but they also mostly never see each other and they're happy with that.)

She has a fairly ok relationship with her family now, but being able to move out and live in group with way less hierarchy and a whole lot more community support has been very healing and helping with having more resources to maintain her relationship with her family too.

Kankurou does all her phone calls (as that of about everyone in the polycule, to be honest).

And the sibs!

Gaara:

He's had a lot of autism-related struggles as a child/teen, but functions much better as an adult now that he understands his needs better and has accommodated his daily life to them. He works as a landscaper but has a lot of at-home work hours.

Lee is his first relationship (I also have a fic about that) and he does think he's gay? But also never has thought about neither his orientation nor the idea of dating and who he would want to date much before that, so he's not sure. He's going with that for now.

He waxes his eyebrows because he compulsively plucks them otherwise. Dying his hair also helps with trying not to pluck them.

He was mostly raised by Yashamaru, who is Jewish and raised him Jewish, but has a bit of a complicated relationship with that because there was a lot of projection on Yashamaru's end, and difficulty to see him as his own person and not just his late sister's baby. He's not religious although he sort of still observant out of habit. (Ex: he doesn't necessarily care about eating kosher, but it's also the food he's used to make and eat, so he will still go for that most of the time.)

Temari (in pyjamas mode in this picture because I didn't have something less casual that fitted her style in the picrew):

She works as a diplomat and is very much a workaholic. The trauma is strong but the grind is stronger.

Just like Kankurou, she was raised by Baki and her connection to Jewishness and Judaism are mostly self-taught. She is a bit less observant than Kankurou.

She has chronic pain that she probably ignores a bit too much, but who can really stop her. (Kankurou should try and probably does.) Compression stockings enthusiast.

She has a motorcycle that Kankurou is very afraid to ride. (Gaara is okay.)

I'll probably do more in this AU later!

[lavenderfeminist]

Do you ever worry about doing more harm than good? Feminism is one of the most important things for our society. However your viewpoints on feminism are quite different than a lot of people’s, including a handful of your friends. Do you ever feel like you’ll have any chance someday that your thoughts will change and you will be able to at least partially recognize MtF people as women, FtM people as men, etc., especially considering the medical studies on gender dysphoria? I’m curious. I am a non-binary individual (and because I just know there’s going to be assumptions otherwise, I was assigned female at birth), and I can genuinely empathize with the feminist aspects (not the trans exclusionary ones) of the TERF movement: women need more rights and protections, abortion is a human right, men oppress women (and people like me who don’t identify as women but still present fully as such for acceptance reasons) and this needs to change, etc. I just wish people in these circles would focus on that rather than painting trans women as this huge problem. I’ve met a trans woman when she was still identifying as a man, her dysphoria was extremely hard for her. She’s started transitioning now and has always been respectful and supportive of the other women in her life. I guess I’m just ever the optimist, that y’all will realize, yes there are a handful of shitty men out there who want to use the trans identity for something harmful, but there are shitty people from all walks of life, and overall even if our experiences with our birth sex are different, trans women shouldn’t be shunned more than they already are. I can’t believe I wrote this whole thing on a terf blog because ik it won’t change your mind but respond as you wish I guess lol

Yeah, I used to be what some would refer to as a "transmed"/"truscum". In other words, I viewed transgenderism/transexualism as a medical issue resulting from a discrepancy between someone's brain and their outward sex. I have not and will never consider being "nonbinary" a legitimate identity; there is no third sex. And before someone says "what about intersex people!", intersex conditions are sex specific and more accurately called disorders of sexual development (DSDs). Stop using them as pawns in your invalid arguments.

There is no chance of me ever reverting to that set of beliefs again in the case of today's evidence. If presented with evidence that it is physically possible for someone to have a female brain in a male body or vice-versa, and medically possible to verify this in a given individual, my beliefs would change again. But not only is the "brainsex" argument nonsensical when taken to its conclusion (a "female" brain in an otherwise-male body is simply a variation of a male brain...), but modern science very clearly demonstrates that there really are not significant enough biological differences between male and female brains for us to even make a distinction wide enough to sort tran people.

I once passionately believed what you do (to an extent), but I cannot anymore, for these reasons:

The modern trans movement is lying to you. They're telling you that the "transwomen in bathrooms" arguments are a lie, right? That transwomen just want to pee like everyone else? I believed them too, until I was confronted with undeniable evidence that trans women are just as predatory in women's bathrooms as men dressed as women (shocking, because there's no actual distinction being offered to allow the former while barring the latter from women's bathrooms). If anybody who says they're a woman is allowed in women's bathrooms, actual gender feelings are irrelevant, because any man can enter a female space so long as he says the right things.

"Woman" to me holds no more meaning than being a adult human being of the female sex. I have no other associations beyond that. So "trans women are women" is as false to me as "gingerbread women are women". If you say "trans women identify with the gender associated with women", I will agree with you, because femininity, the sex role (gender) assigned to women, is something a man can want to perform. But trans women are not women, because they are not female, and to claim that half of the population calls themself the word for "woman" in their language for any reason other than being female is to assert that half the population identifies with femininity, and that is regressive. I have nothing in common with a trans woman other than us both claiming the word "woman", and that is an absolutely meaningless similarity. I literally have more in common with every trans man on the planet by virtue of inhabiting a female body.

I still believe in sex dysphoria. I still believe that ADULTS with sex dysphoria are entitled to make decisions to modify their bodies, even if they are decisions I find confusing/dangerous/odd, so long as they are adequately informed about the medical risks and consequences of their decisions. I simply do not believe that this necessitates me remaining uncritical of the social and capitalistic factors that may motivate transition for reasons not covered by innate sex dysphoria.

I do not believe in gender identity, and I never will. I do not believe in gendered souls, gendered feelings, etc. I do not believe any sense of gender is innate. A man who feels like a woman is, to me, simply a man making assumptions about the way women feel. A man who wishes he was female is, to me, someone with the rights to make body modifications that mimic a female body, but not someone who will ever be female. I do not believe there is anything inherently different between men and women save for our sexes. Thus, there is no avenue through my worldview in which a transwoman could ever be a woman.

I support your right to believe in gender identity, the same way I support a Christian's right to believe in souls. But I am not obligated to participate in or validate your beliefs, the same way I do not need to participate in or validate a Christian belief in souls. That does not make me transphobic, in the same way that it does not make me Christianphobic. Stop reducing the actual, real hatred that some people have for gender nonconformity to a lack of religious beliefs.

[doberbutts]

That post of yours also makes me think of how much exclusionist rhetoric is centered around the assumption that, for example, only people who are gay or lesbian are ever impacted by homophobia. That kind of thinking is not only incorrect, but also gives way too much credit to homophobes who do not, it turns out, have a nuanced and informed view of sexuality and gender.

Homophobes don't think in terms of "we are cis and allo and straight, and this other group is made up of people who are gay, pan, bi, ace, aro, trans, nonbinary, intersex, and any other number of labels under the queer umbrella". They think in terms of "we are normal and good, and this other group is different and bad."

I recall that one incident about the parents who kicked their asexual teenage son out of their home because they thought he was gay, and tons of exclusionists were insisting, "No, no, this isn't aphobia, this isn't discriminating against asexual people, this is misdirected homophobia, gay people are still the only ones being oppressed." Like, okay buddy, call it whatever you want, but this asexual teenager is still homeless now.

The sort of people who commit these hate crimes think in such rigidly binary terms. That man is attracted to men? It doesn't matter that he's also attracted to women, he's gay. That man doesn't want to have sex with women? It doesn't matter that he doesn't want to have sex with men either, he's gay. Oh, that man IS dating and having sex exclusively with a woman, but that woman was assigned male at birth? Gay. They're all gay, and we must hate them all for it.

Exclusionists will claim that ace people or bi people or trans people who don't medically transition or who are non-dysphoric aren't queer enough to be in queer spaces, don't face the same level of oppression, and meanwhile homophobes are more than happy to hate crime anyone who doesn't fit their narrow definitions of what is acceptable. The people who are beating up a man for being gay aren't going to stop upon being informed he's actually polysexual. They'll say "close enough" and continue beating him up.

Exactly. But then again many of these people refuse to consider a different perspective than their own.

I have an ace friend who, due to her solid lack of interest in men [or anyone] was assumed to be a lesbian by her boss. Her boss who turned out to be a sexual predator and preyed on three different female coworkers about her age [read: significantly younger than him] and was eventually fired for it. Her boss that, when she revealed she was dating a man at the time, admitted he had considered pursuing her as well but was discouraged by her lack of attraction and if he had known she could be "turned" he would have struck while the iron was hot, so to speak.

Is that not a combination of lesbiphobia, misogyny, acephobia, toxic masculinity? That he wanted this girl young enough to be his grand daughter to the point that he thought he could bully his way into her bed after seeing that she was not interested in being pursued? It doesn't matter that he was wrong about her being a lesbian. It doesn't matter that she could have just as easily been with a woman instead of a man. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any understanding of the concept of asexuality. Here was a young woman who *could potentially* be swayed by power dynamics and/or alcohol, and thus she was added to his list of potential conquests.

Her identity, her feelings, her emotions, her life doesn't matter. What matters is that he was a predator and she was highlighted as possible prey the second he thought he might be able to convince her to accept his magic Dick Of Turning.

How do I know all this? He was my boss too. And I saw firsthand some of the things he did. Thankfully, as said, he was eventually caught in the act and fired for it, but not before he terrorized multiple female employees.

[scarsbloodandleather]

had this in the drafts for a LONGGG ASS TIME:,,,

i just stayed up all night thinking about trans dean!!! (hbo dean) and wrote an approximate 5 page essay of my thoughts!!! (written by a transmasc)

(just on how dean is trans while keeping majority of the plot is the same, but also better than canon..)

Starting at the beginning. born Deanna. Dean always wanted to present more masculine. as a little kid always wanted to play with the boys stuff and dress in daddys clothes not mommys. in the first scene of him holding baby Sammy, it’s very much possible that he could still look pretty much the same considering the popularity of bowlcuts in young kids especially amongst little girls at that time. After Marys death, john never knew how to shop for girls clothing, so Dean just got the most basic looking clothes, already making him slide into that masculine nature. He probably grew out his hair after Mary died for a while (because of johns inability to take care of his kids and give them regular haircuts), until lets say 6?? when Dean figured out how to use scissors on his hair. John is unfazed, like as long as it doesn’t get in the way, and monsters cant grab deans hair(idk, things like that)

Bobby is the first to figure out Dean is trans. obviously. he pays more attention to the kids than john does. Dean just acts like a boy, thinks he’s a boy, though still being technically a girl. He’s complained before to Bobby about wanting to be a boy and hates being seen as/called a “dyke” or a “tomboy” by classmates and teachers. Dean doesnt think anything is wrong with expressing those emotions, still being just a young kid.

Around 8?9? Dean end up just straight up telling john he thinks he’s actually a boy and john couldnt care less tbh, trans men were nearly invisible to society at that time, especially to someone like john who probably grew up under a rock about those things more than anyone. John probably just somehow believed what dean said.. but in a twisted fucked up way… In Johns head Dean is now “a boy with feminine parts, and that is not right, you cant be a man and feminine.” (something like that) So John double time forces hyper masculinity upon dean much too early, as a compensation for anything possibly non-masculine about dean. Trans men are not a concept in johns mind and he doesnt care at all what it could mean other than Dean just being fucked up. This ideology weighs heavily into Dean’s trauma and daddy issues. Especially when john has angry drunk outbursts of ridiculing Dean for the way he is, doing things like deadnaming and misgendering Dean on purpose.

John obviously didnt know or care about anything gender confirming beyond, “I have a son, I buy boy clothes, it’s easier in so many ways having two sons now.” Bobby was the one who fully supported and understood dean and tried to do everything he could to understand deans situation and help him with the transition.

also. no one really knew of john as a hunter at the start. so its easy for john to switch to saying he has two sons, without causing problems.

Puberty for Dean would fall around 1990/91. By that time hormone blockers were already a thing available for kids who had puberty too early, [BUT amongst my research on hormone blockers for trans people I couldn’t find when That became a common practice, and when or where it became easy(ish) to get such treatment without being denied or hatecrimed in some way...] (will have to do more research on some subjects, I still have several books and articles I need to go through) However, I do know testosterone was actually an accessible thing around the 90s for trans men(ofc i still cant find what the age is for being aproved to start hrt unfortunately).

But, I believe, thanks to Bobby’s cunning schemes, he can get what Dean wants/needs in an easy way (ex; lying about Dean’s age or gender[saying he’s intersex or a male with a hormone deficiency], stollen medical prescription forms, etc)

So maybe, most of Deans life he is stealth to most, (even if he doesnt get testosterone until later in life, there are multiple accounts of trans men more than fooling a vast majority of people into thinking theyre cis, even when literally having sex with women believe it or not(ex; Brandon Teena/Boys Don’t Cry film, a popular 50s gospel singer i forgot the name of, much more) Dean is definitely super crafty in canon so he is always finding ways to pass.

Sam knowing Dean is trans makes sense(even if he doesnt have a word for it at first) considering how close they are as siblings. And I think funnily enough he might not even know Dean is “trans” until he attends a gsa class in college(bonus: Sam is he/she/they nonbinary in my hc and they find out that too)

[Side note, because of genes*, it’s very possible for an afab in the winchester family to be up to 5’10(lets say dean is 5’9 though). He wears those 1 1/2 inch heeled boots he does in canon (funny how he’s canonically trans coded sm), with shoe inserts on top of that and, boom. easily 5’11-6’0. yet, he is still more than four inches shorter than his younger brother.(idk i think sam should chill like maybe he can just be 6’2or3 in hbo, bc *john is still 6’1or2, and mary’s family also has tall men*)]

Moving on. According to the timeline dean discovering girls (and boys) happens next at 12/13 (pls help i’m on the aro spec and dk the normal age you get crushes)

but since we already know john is even more strict about Dean’s masculinity than he would be with someone whos amab (notice john canonically is less forcing of masculinity upon sam... i wonder why....) Well in saying that, here comes the intense homophobia. Dean cannot like men. “thats for girls. and Dean said hes actually a man, and I cant let dean be feminine in any way” or some bullshit like that.

Somewhere in the future, before Dean turns 17, john is “worried” about deans possible attraction to men. Sends him on the nun hunt by himself. It’s a big step especially for Dean being afab and john still seeing him as weak and feminine despite believing Dean is actually a dude. (I think this is also the same reason, canonically, sam is so surprised that at 26 dean is going on his own hunts??)

But like- so if the last time Sam saw Dean, Dean was 22 and still an irresponsible youth, still new to the freedom of things that came at 21 and what not(even if dean has been drinking from a young age) and considering johns treatment of Dean, and Deans dependency on johns toxic grasp on him, Sam could still be surprised dean is on his own now[even if dean went on his own at 17, but sam wouldnt know that,, and plus it was just so john could teach him a lesson] So maybe john also let Dean go on his own at 23(before then dean always went with another person) and because he would soon see Dean and his hunting partner of the time, Lee, getting along “too well” he would just fr gaslight dean to just go on his own from then... (something like that)

Focusing back on Dean’s transition, I actually have no idea when dean would get top surgery bc of the busyness of a hunters life. but im thinking it’s a top priority of Deans for a while because of the discomfort of not being able to wear a binder when hunting, only a sports bra, which depending, could still be very uncomfortable for him dysphoria wise. (i know the struggle) Again, Bobby probably one to help with the whole process of payment, recovery and scheduling a good time.

When dean finally gets his top surgery it is when he is with Cassie. (theyre literally both t4t bi4bi) Dean by luck finds a nice girl at a queer bar and settles down with her and decides its time to chop the flesh bags and Cassie helps him in his recovery. (of course i think dean still goes hunting in secret and messed up the healing process and ends up with sorta messed up scars)

Now lisa well... (actually I think canon dean dated her before cassie, but she was only introduced later so-) okay Lisa lowkey gives me transphobe vibes-.. I wonder if it could be that even after they hook up she still isnt even aware that dean is trans, she still finds out someway though. (rip ben actually being from a random biker in this au, bc canon he is 100% deans kid) When Dean sees her again, they run into eachother and catch up despite lisa still being transphobic. She’s fine with just talking but keeping distance. Ben, already liking dean like a father figure, doesn’t understand why lisa dislikes him, even after she explains how Dean is trans, like most kids at that age it’s simple, if he looks and acts like a boy, he is a boy. Kids dont fucking know a thing about body parts or genders... Ben with that ideology, ultimately opens Lisas eyes on trans people and is now okay with Dean.

The only next big plot point I can think of?? is..

Cas raising Dean from hell. While recreating Dean, he sees Deans entire being through Deans perspective. and how Dean is meant to be rather than how he was born. In my mind it makes sense to cas as angel, by seeing Dean’s soul, his memories, everything that makes Dean, well.. Dean, that he is indeed a man. Also because angels have no construct of gender(besides how humans are born) and being genderless in the first place, Cas doesnt associate body parts with genders. He just knows dean is a man and is like “well if hes a human man he must have these parts i guess?”, Deans views of himself blurring his previous form, everything on how dean looks is slightly masculinized. Cas doesnt even think about how come these scars on deans chest are significant and important to him, at any point in the future he could still easily remove them, but he knew they meant something to dean in his mortal development and despite being a “flaw” they are the two scars he didnt wipe clean off of Dean’s body. Everything else, its like- as if Dean was born a man, or at least, however Dean wanted to look. (and still, cas removes all of deans tattoos. dean is pissed asf at cas. even if they had significance to dean, cas still removed them as it was not a part of his body and soul like the top scars, just a foreign blemish made of ink)

That is all i should probably fit in a post now, lmao

[spacelazarwolf]

I'm sorry if this is overstepping or a poor comparison, I wanted to say thankyou for the post about how gentiles would needle you about how you could not publically signify yourself as jewish, and explaining it as how it's cruel to demand assimilation in turn for safty. I've felt guilty about "putting myself in danger" by continuing to use the bathroom of my chosen gender despite not passing, because every time I've expressed fears I was reminded of how I could simply use the other bathroom instead. I can't transition medically, social transition is all I have. It's not the same, but thankyou for reframing that to me, we should not have to hide our identities for our saftey.

this line of thinking definitely applies to gender and presentation too. there’s a huge amount of responsibility placed on trans, gnc, and intersex ppl to look as much like one binary gender as possible in order to be accepted in society, and because gender is mostly about presentation we are expected to spend however much time or money we have to to fit into one of those boxes so society can choose how to treat us. rejecting those boxes is a form of rejecting assimilation, and it’s one that’s especially dangerous right now, and while sometimes for me it is an active choice to say “fuck yup, i’m not conforming” my statement before still stands: “assimilate or face violence” isn’t a choice, it’s a threat. and currently for trans, gnc, and intersex people, its a threat that’s being backed up by legislation in places like the us.

[swordwithribbon]

abolishing gender identity = there are zero genders, no one has a gender, it is impossible to have a gender, being nonbinary or trans doesn't exist because there is nothing to identify out of, everyone on earth is genderless bc gender is a rightwing male invention and upholding it in any form is part of the patriarchal scaffolding holding up male supremacy, heterocentrism and capitalism.

abolishing gender identity =/= i've got a dick but i hate football therefore i must not be a real man, i've got a vagina but i've also got a personality unlike all those other silly brainless bimbos so i must be nonbinary, if you don't fit the rightwing definition of masculinity and femininity that means you're special and not just normal.

there are two sexes* - one of which has oppressed the other since time immemorial - and there are zero genders. oppressors cannot identify out of their privilege and oppressed people cannot identify out of their oppression. a white person cannot decide they're one of the good ones and identify out of their white privilege, and a male cannot decide the same either.

* if you're about to say something ableist about people with DSDs/"intersex" people, and claim they don't have a single sex because you're too stupid to understand how sex-linked disorders work, don't bother. i've heard it all before and it's all anti-science nonsense not dissimilar to anti-vaxx conspiracies.

thanks for the patronising explanation of what gender abolition would mean, although i already knew all of that lol. it’s interesting hearing such radical gender abolitionists such as yourself because i actually agree— abolishing gender would almost certainly be beneficial for everyone. but, none of you ever offer a practical and realistic way to achieve this: it’s always “gender doesn’t actually exist” but it does, you said so yourself. yes, it’s not a biological reality in the same way sex is and it is constructed but things that are sociological are still real. gender is a social reality.

being transsexual is at its core a medical condition caused by gender dysphoria aka gender discongruence. i find it abhorrent that anyone who hasn’t experienced such a challenging condition (which, as we all know, causes the trans su*c*de rate to be so high) would attempt to debase transition as “not liking football so i’m not a man”. you sound ridiculous. transsexuality is gender dysphoria being alleviated by a social and usually medical transition. interests have literally zero impact; if liking feminine things made you trans, all effeminate gay men would be transitioning, but they aren’t because there’s no dysphoria.

on a seperate note, other “trans umbrella” identities that you mentioned (e.g. nonbinary) are literally what you’re aiming for. nonbinary is a gender identity that defies all other binary ideas of gender, but for some reason this still upsets you because it’s being referred to as a “gender identity” and as such upholds in the loosest of ways gender norms. well, to that thought i ask: what’s the alternative? being transsexual or nonbinary or anything that goes against the conservative and very reductive idea that amab = man and afab = woman is rebelling against those conservative ideas. transsexuals are in favour of gender abolition. being trans is one step towards your utopian description of a genderless society, which, as an aside, we probably won’t ever arrive to unless society completely dies off and starts anew.

in regards to “identifying out of oppression” im not sure if you’re claiming i said this is possible, but i’ll give my thoughts. a trans woman who “passes” as the sex to which she has transitioned (and so is socially a woman) holds much less social power than a social man. yes, there are things that trans women cannot identify out of in the sense that they will always be biologically male, and so will never experience sex-based oppression e.g. oppressive abortion laws. but, a “passing” trans woman can and will inevitably experience misogyny as she lives as a woman day-to-day, just as a trans man in the same position will be treated as he is— a man— and be able to benefit from the social and daily privileges that this comes with. when people see a stranger, they see them as they are, not their genitalia or chromosomes or sex organs etc. so, yes, in part, oppression that isn’t tied completely to biology can be transferred.

as a final note, the racial comparison you mentioned is completely irrelevant as being “transracial” 1. doesn’t actually exist, and 2. even if it did, there would be no grounds for it to be valid as race dysphoria isn’t real. so you can’t really make a comparison between the two.