#it was like hey! happy memories together amirite?

[genderqueerpond]

my phone automatically generated the cutest tumblr post

[oraculate]

whops im a little late sorry but here i (dove, s/h, certified hag) am and more importantly, here's ko lijae, your local fuckin weirdo. surprise surprise though, she's not just a pill popping drunk, she's also impulsive to a fault, an adrenaline junkie with a death wish, and an obsessive nightmare. she's giving oracle at delphi, or she would be if you romanticized it, but it's kind of hard to romanticize someone who very clearly does not have their life even close to together and is letting that show in a way that distinctly bucks social norms. but hey, who has time for social norms when you're touched by the gods, amirite? i'm more than thrilled to be here, haven't written in a hot minute so be gentle, but her pages are here: profile / bio / connections and there's a little bit more under the cut, msg for discord!

i'm not sure what to put that isn't already on the pages so here's a little mindless rambling for you in case something resonates.

ko lijae has premonitions, visions, etc.

her family is historically shamanic and has been for centuries, passed down from woman to woman as is oft the case.

now, granted, they're lowkey scammers so at least in very recent memory "real" visions and so forth are not a thing.

not to mention traditionally in muism shamans are more focused on connection to the spirit world/those who have passed so she's not exactly on brand religiously....

so needless to say the thought process in the ko household was 'yikes'.

and if it had been truly just an expression of mental health concerns she'd have been fucked because if there's one thing the ko family does not believe in its talk therapy or mood stabilizers etc.

as a kid she found a certain idea of solace in the idea that she was probably just experiencing sinbyeong or 'shamanic sickness' (recognized as a culture bound syndrome in the DMCA) that many soon-to-be shamans go through before they are fully initiated, often that are accompanied by reported auditory and visual hallucinations.

at this point in her life she's not sure she buys into the shaman thing fully, she's come to acknowledge her grandmother as a fake, but she also grapples with the idea that there's definitely something going on with her and it's certainly not purely based on mental unrest (though she's more than happy to admit there's a deal of that going on at this point) so a part of her at least wants to attribute it to something somewhat explainable, and figures it must have some kind of genetic component that could be related to how her family ended up shamans in the first place.

in the evolutionary game of fight or flight lijae has chosen a resounding: both. she'll fight you and she'll run from herself.

a lot of that running is done via chemicals of whatever type she can get her hands on, resulting in a chain smoking habit and alcoholism.

she has an exceptionally devil may care attitude, sharp tongue (mostly at her own expense) and a deep and feral loyalty to the few people who stick by her.

honestly she gives feral cat energy, like she might gnaw her paw off if she got caught in a trap and god help you if you corner her, but if you hang around patiently enough maybe eventually she'll come around. but she's got fleas and half an ear is missing and there's scars all around her muzzle so is it worth the time? maybe not.

anyway if you've got any sort of ideas about how this weirdo might be able to round out a plot for you either with or without the inclusion of her '''''gifts''''' i'm all ears!

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

☾ i should have seen the signs.

for @missmorosis​​’s 400 followers event.

genre: angst, break-up fanfiction 

summary: going to the city of love and london was supposed to be an exhilarating vacation after a long week of exams. as it seems, love is fake and so is toru oikawa.

“THE WARNING SIGNS OF TOORU OIKAWA.”

oikawa had promised.

he made promises.

multiple, in fact. 

and he broke them all. 

SIGN NUMBER ONE: “sorry, i got caught up in traffic.”

you should have seen them from the start. the first time was under the lights of paris, france. it was supposed to be a day with just you two-- going around place to place, hand in hand, staring at each other’s eyes and looking at the lights that passed by.

and you two should have been there. you two should have been standing beneath the eiffel tower, waiting for your turn to finally get all the way to the top, and having your first kiss-- actually, you two should have been so impatient that you ended up kissing him then and there, right before, because you couldn’t wait any longer. 

you two should have been together, pushed against eachother with his calloused yet soft hands making their way to your hair, playing gently with it as the cold paris wind blew against your face.

and you two should have been laughing through kisses, eyes gleaming and his body heat being your only source of warmth. and he probably would have offered his jacket, and you would’ve taken it before kissing him on the nose, whispering i love you. 

you two should have been getting crepes and watching the light show soon after, and you two should have gone to a restaurant at 2 in the morning and laughing together.

also, you two should have been able to check out at a nearby hotel by the city lights, so that you two could watch the bustling city. you should have been able to feel the cool hotel air-conditioning and blankets beneath your fete, your boyfriend cuddled up next to you, and kissing your forehead. you two should have been able to have another midnight snack while watching the food network.

but none of that happened, because toru oikawa didn’t show up.

you waited hours, giddy and nervous, butterflies in your stomach. you could already hear him whispering in your ear, “baby, let’s not get too excited. you still have to buy me something from the gift shop.” you had shown up wearing nothing but a loose sweatshirt and a pair of jeans that you’d found in your closet. the necklace that oikawa gave you was wrapped around your neck. 

but toru oikawa didn’t show up.

y/n-thedream: hey!! let me know when you’re here. :) sent at 9:09 pm

“i’ll wait a little longer for him. traffic, amirite?”

“oh wow, the traffic must be really bad.”

“it’s okay! he’s safe. don’t worry, he’ll show up and kiss you, and... it’ll be fine.”

you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“it’s only 9:38pm, we still have twenty-two minutes before the lights.”

“it’s r-really cold. wow. uhm, okay.”

“huh, look at that couple over there. they look so... happy.”

you really, really tried. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t trust him.

“ooo, you know what? he’s getting me a gift. i just know it.”

“yeah! h-he’s getting me a gift. it’s so cold. holy smokes. it’s so cold.”

“oh-! uhm, it’s 9:52... you know what? it’s fine! he’ll show up with open arms!”

the only comfort you had with your knowledge was that he got caught up in traffic, or was getting you a last-minute present, or had this huge surprise prepared for you. and then he’d engulf you with opened arms, kissing your forehead and apologizing like an adorable idiot that he was late.

right, he’d show up. he’d show up. it’d be fine. 

you watched as other couples cuddled next to eachother, their wide grins meeting their eyes as the lights beamed in the sky.

the lights were starting.

people were sharing their love for eachother.

and you were cold, alone, in tears in the dark, because toru oikawa didn’t show up. 

SIGN NUMBER TWO: “i fell asleep.”

luckily for you, koutaro bokuto was there for you the whole time.

even though he wasn’t exactly there in-person because akaashi told him not to, no matter how much he begged to trail along with his best friend, bokuto compromised by vowing to video call you.

your screen turned bright against your face, tears blinding your vision from the tears, as he called you at exactly midnight.

you looked down, his icon with his golden eyes beaming. it was a constant war in your head, one part saying to answer, another part saying not to. but you didn’t know what to do in the end, so you ended up answering the call. 

“hey hey heyyy!! soOooOO, how was your date with-”

and you burst into tears.

“y/n!” bokuto called from the other side, his face etched with concern. “what happened? you can tell me, c’mon, what’s going on? why- why are you still outside? it’s-” he looked towards the other side of the room at the clock. “it’s nearly one in the morning! 

your best friend tapped his screen continuously, the same way that he’d tap your shoulder when he expected an answer. “y/n! come on, what’s going on? why isn’t oikawa there?”

you didn’t answer. his eyes searched the place like a rabid animal. 

“y/n, why isn’t oikawa there?”

“i don’t know.”

because he left. maybe he left because the traffic was so bad that he couldn’t find his way through. maybe he left because there was someone else, some other girl that he wanted to be with. maybe he left because you were too clingy for him. maybe he left because he wanted to fix himself first. 

but why?

“i-” bokuto began, “oh please. please don’t cry! okay, i’ll go talk to him. i’ll see what i can do, but... just- call a taxi and head to your hotel.”

you looked up in confusion. “but oikawa and i are supposed to go toge-”

“call a taxi, and go to your hotel.” 

bokuto’s eyes, this time, were hard and narrowed. you noticed that he was looking down, as if reading a text message.

you heard a familiar fwwp! and bokuto’s face glowered again. 

“uhm-- uh, is something wrong?” you asked.

“ah!” bokuto grinned, doing a complete 180. “don’t worry about it. i have it covered. just go to your hotel, it’ll be better in the morning.”

you were so grateful for him in words you couldn’t even explain.

“oh-okay. th...thank you.”

“you don’t have to thank me for anything, now go! c’mon, you must be exhausted. bye!”

...he seemed to leave in such a panicked rush. what for?

SIGN NUMBER THREE: “i’m sorry, i won’t do it again.”

that night, at the hotel, you decided to forget everything.

everything as in everything.

you flopped onto your bed, put a pillow over your head before screaming into it.

It was a long, sustained scream, but it was an enjoyable scream. you let go of your pillow, threw it onto the floor, your hair in different angles and out of breath. it was nearly two in the morning, and yet, oikawa had said nothing.

he had promised so much.

he had promised to wait so you two could kiss at the top of the eiffel tower.

he had promised to take you to so many places.

he had promised to take so many photos of you two that you’d end up exhausted from having to smile.

he had promised to give you hugs and cuddles every single night.

he had promised to hold your hand and never let go.

he had promised to hold your hand, kiss it, and wipe your tears away.

he had promised to stay.

he had promised, really, really promised that you were the only one he’d ever loved.

he had promised that you meant the world to him, and that he’d wait until he was older to finally give you the life and love that you’d fought so hard for.

he promised, he promised, HE PROMISED.

but of course, he broke every single one of them.

you didn’t kiss at the eiffel tower.

you two didn’t go anywhere, because he hadn’t even shown up.

he didn’t come at all, so there were no photos, of course-- except the selfies of you crying because sometimes you just gotta see whether or not you pretty-cry.

he didn’t hold you, cuddle you, or tell you that you mattered, because he simply seemed to not believe it.

you put in so much effort, and in return, you received nothing.

and that upset you.

“Y/N!”

the door slammed open, and there he was, the clown, the joke, the whole circus himself: toru oikawa.

he was covered in water from the rain, wearing nothing except a loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. his hair was moppy, his entire face pale and red at the nose and ears from the cold. his bags were soaked as well, and the hotel key in hand was barely hanging on by a thread, much like your current state.

he panted, clearly out of breath and shoulders trembling. 

“i-i’m so sorry.”

but seeing him like this...

he seemed so tired, so exhausted-- so, maybe, just maybe, he had good reason to be like this.

he slowly moved over next to you, sitting on the floor so that the mattress wouldn’t get soaked.

it was quiet for a few minutes, just oikawa’s breathing.

you resisted every urge to smile. why?

because love was a funny thing.

no matter how much you hate someone, the way that you feel around them can never change, because it’s not muscle memory, it’s not because of the memories, it’s because of the genuine place that they nailed and burned and tore into your heart. love was something that was completely uncontrollable, dangerous and wild, a mind of its own.

and for some reason, seeing him like this, his shoulders trembling, eyes puffy and backpack full of clothes that were half-peeking out made you want to wrap your arms around him.

and instead, you crossed your arms over your shoulders.

“w-why?”

you cursed to yourself. you hadn’t planned on stammering, or-- or crying, for that matter. 

without hesitation, oikawa launched himself at you.

and burst into tears.

his embrace was warm-- his embrace was comforting, and his embrace was so... kind.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry love, i didn’t- i didn’t mean-”

oikawa sobbed, his words connecting and rolling on top of each other, one and then the other. his entire frame was almost shattering as his lips trembled and hands gripped tighter onto you. “’m so sorry, love. th...there was this huge, this huge thing, uh-uhm.., the plane ride got delayed. i’m so, so sorry, baby.”

i knew it was a bad idea to go on separate planes! you had initially shown up a week early because of exams, and oikawa had planned on joining you. 

your eyebrows furrowed in concern.

oikawa was genuinely breaking down, his entire chest racking with sobs.

“i know, bokuto told me, he told me that you were crying, and i- i had to go, so i just couldn’t wait for the bus, and it wasn’t that long, and i just waited at the bus stop, i couldn’t think and i just ran and-”

“the bus stop?!” you asked, stopping him from spiraling. the bus stop was a solid mile and a half away! did he really run?

“oikawa, please just... let’s get you warmed up, okay?”

oikawa released another tired sob again. “but i-”

“no. get into the shower baby, c’mon.”

he nodded slowly, taking off his shirt and immediately wrapping a towel around his neck. 

that was... weird.

THE FINAL SIGN

“mm, okay,” he said, clearly exhausted. before he stepped into the shower, he looked back and said, “thank you, baby.”

with that, oikawa closed the shower door, and the sound of the water rhythmically pitter-pattering on the floor echoed through the room. 

but before he stepped inside, you couldn’t help but notice the red on his neck, no bigger than the size of your pinky finger making its entrance.

no way.

there was no way that could be true.

but... could it?

but at that moment, you had pieced it altogether. from bokuto’s angry expression, to oikawa’s late arrival, to the way he hesitated when he said why he was waiting, how he didn’t even come in dressed in the way he would be, and the way he left you on read or didn’t read your messages at all.

toru oikawa was cheating on you.

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hehe i had a really fun time writing this one!! i wrote it all in one sitting so i’m sorry about the errors oml-

and also, @missmorosis​ is an AMAZING author and writer, so please go give her a follow!

[gojoyogurt]

happy birthday gojo!! || chilhood friends to lovers au || short fic

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

summary: you spend the whole day together with gojo, your childhood friend. this birthday was special since you were the only one to celebrate it with him since all his other friends were overseas. on this day, it felt more like you were receiving a gift on your birthday rather than giving him a gift.

warnings: grammar and vocabulary may not be the best. also, i know gojo isnt 20 but... for the sake of this story i made him just reaching his 20s hope you guys dont mind. some spelling mistakes may not be noticed.

“hey gojo!” i screamed acrossed the road as i saw the tall, light haired man with a bandana covering his eyes leaning on the lamp post. he looked over and gave a small smile along with a wave. it was such a special day since he just turned 20, if he made my 20th birthday so memorable, i should only return the favour since the both of us have been together ( not in a romantic way ) for the longest time and we were always there for each other. “ayo happy birthday you overgrown man baby!” i jokingly congratulated him. “thanks you tiny tiger” he replies back with a smirk on his face while patting me on the head. i blushed slightly, i always had a crush on him but i never got the chance to say it to him. “should i say it today?” i thought to myself as my heart skipped a beat.

we walked down the street for a while and we stumbled across a cafe that seemed pretty quiet, the atmosphere it gave off was so simple yet it was drawing our attention to it. “hey do you-“ we both said simultaneously. “man... that single braincell energy tho amirite HAHA” i affirmed him as both of us were laughing our asses off right infront of the cafe door. after wasting our energy on cackling, we finally stepped into the cafe and ordered our drinks. “one cafe latte-“ we both said simultaneously AGAIN. “why are we so in sync today??” he questioned as we both started giggling uncontrollably at the register. “excuse me, are you guys going to order?” the staff asked us. “oops, sorry. we’ll get two cafe lattes please!” i cheerfully ordered. “two cafe lattes, anything else?” he reassured us. “nope!” i confirmed our order. “ok here’s your receipt, you guys make such a cute couple! you’re so lucky to find your soulmate that matches you perfectly!” the cashier said to us. we both just looked at each other and laughed it off.

it was nearly impossible for us to get to the table since gojos hands wouldnt stop shaking because he was giggling. luckily, we made it to the table without spilling the drinks. “here, its a small gift i made” i said as i handed over a brown wrapped package to him. the crumpling and tearing sound of the paper filled the area we were in, my heart was racing since i was worried that he wouldnt like it. “oh wow, y/n you made this??” he questioned me as if he couldn’t believe that i actually made the picture collage of the both of us. “yeah... do you not like it?” i asked quietly, scared that he actually hated it. “YO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU!!” he screamed in excitement. the collage was filled with memories of me and gojo from when we first met when we were 5 and uptil this day.

it felt like a heavy weight was just lifted off my shoulder. “thanks!! that took a while since i also added some pictures of us when we were still kids!” i replied back in relief. “hey! lets take a photo now so we can add it to the frame!” i suggested. i wriggled my chair over next to him and i took out my polaroid camera from my bag. we both smiled for the picture and i waited for the photo to come out.. “should i tell him now?” i reassured myself. i looked at him quietly, he was smiling while looking at the photos of our past selves, “i want to see that smile forever... ” i knew that it may seem greedy, but my heart always raced whenever i looked at him, even uptil now. “hey, y/n you ok? you seem a little flushed” he asked me with a concerned look on his face. “oh, uh, yeah just feeling a little warm...” i muttered. “lets go to my place so you can rest, ok?” you agreed to go over to his place after finishing your drinks.

during the walk back to his place, i couldnt control my heart, it was beating as if im about to go on stage and perform for millions of people. i stopped walking and i was shaking quietly in a small alleyway leading to his house. “y/n, are you ok??” he ran back after noticing that i wasnt by his side anymore. i dont know why but i suddenly started crying, it was supposed to be a happy day but... why am i like this??? am i scared? gojo hugged me and i cried into his chest while he was calming me down. / “y/n... talk to me, is there anything wrong?” he tried to ask me after i calmed down a little. “i-i- i li- like u b-buht i d-don whant to ru-ruin our fwe nd shipp” i somehow managed to get the words out in between breaths. at that point, my face looked like it was a tomato about to burst. i could hear my own heartbeat, i didnt even dare to take a glance at gojo. “man... how do i take care of you... you see, y/n, i also liked you for such a long time but i always thought that you would go off with some other man so i never confessed” he confessed while scratching the back of his head.

my heart felt like it just stopped, at that moment in time, i feel like the world was so serene and quiet. after snapping back into reality, “wh-what weally??” i sniffled as i looked up at him with my swollen eyes. “HAHAHA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” he teased me as i quickly wiped my snot and tears off my face. “you’re not joking with me right?” i tried to confirm with him. he suddenly let out a huge sigh and walked towards me. my heartbeat suddenly increased as he got closer and closer with every step. he leaned closer towards me and took off his black bandana, “do i look like im lying?” he questioned me as i stared into his beautiful blue eyes. this isnt the first time im seeing it but i always can never prepare myself to see it. his eyes looked so peaceful, like a quiet ocean that has no limits. it felt like you could clearly see the sky even though we were in a dark area.

he put his bandana back on and gave me a long, tight hug. “you are the meanest person i know did you know that” i jokingly said to him. “hey is that the first thing you say to your boyfriend? ouch” he joked back. he hugged me for a little while longer before staring at me. he leaned in closer next to my ear and whispered, “thank you, for making this the best birthday present i could ever ask for” he gave me a peck on the cheek before looking back at me. my face was once again about to explode and my heart was probably on the verge of exploding. “can you not do that i have a weak heart you know???” i scolded as i jumped on him to attack him. “ouch ouch ouch!1!1!1!1! okok im sorry geez, violent much” he teased me once again. “c’mon, lets go to your house already, i look embarrassing” i pushed him so that i don’t embarrass myself in public. i clinged onto his arm and kept my head down the whole way back so that people dont see my face. this day was honestly the best day of my life, i had a huge smile on my face for the rest of the day.

and the rest is left up to your imagination...

hello people! sorry if this seemed rushed because i’ve been quite busy recently but ill still try to post whenever i can. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GOJO YAYYY. actually ive been on a hiatus off anime for a while and jujutsu kaisen is getting me back into the swing of things so im really into jujutsu kaisen atm HAHA. anywho hope you guys enjoyed this short fic and see yall in the next one byee!!!

also im so happy aot the final season came out today but since i read the manga, im really not prepared for whats going to happen... also can we talk about how the intro is just a whole gender reveal party??

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Road to Recovery 👣

Well, this is gonna be a long ass one. Also, this has been kinda drafted over the past... week? So it’s gonna be a real rollercoaster of a ride. 

Had just binged Lucifer’s new season and was on reddit, looking at comments of redditors yelling at Luci to enjoy whilst he was finding stuff to freak out about. 

Like him, I should have just been in the moment. Appreciated it. Instead of worrying about the next. 

The past week has been.. emotional. Have been getting used to the fact that I might never speak or hear or see him again. Been also trying to focus on the bad to kinda ease the pain. At least it hurts a little less, less crying too. But it’s also like one day you do great, no crying, not much of missing and pain, but then the next, everything creeps in altogether and you fall apart. 

The thing is... why does it hurt so bad? Things had been weird for months. I mean, I was the one who was always preparing myself for him to leave, I was the one who told myself I’d be okay even if we never went on the date. And I guess it just boils back to... expectations. 

I expected him to care more, I didn’t expect that he’d be able to leave just like this. From regular convos to nothing in a week, now almost 2 weeks. I mean, we’ve had breaks. 1 day, 5 days, 10 days... It’s kinda strange if we were actually interested in the other. Maybe he wasn’t much of a texter and wanted to talk when we met. But did we really share much when we met? It’s odd... He doesn’t reply properly to texts, he disappears, he doesn’t really care much at times, but for some reason, I seem to remember the good more. It seemed like he does listen (at times), there were moments when I felt like he cared. A part of me still trusts him or sees the best in him. 

Initially, I was trying to avoid talking about him so I would also stop thinking about him and I could move on. But I think talking about it also helps. Did also google about moving on from crushes, and that is a major point. Maybe I’ll never figure out what really went wrong, but maybe I could still give myself some sorta closure.  Though reminiscing does hurt too. Going back to the place where we met, which is basically my workplace which I’ve to be at almost every day... The memories flooding in about the conversations we had. But it also helps me to acknowledge my feelings and fears, stuff that I suppose I didn’t acknowledge then. Maybe if I had been less afraid and tried harder, especially during the times we were both around considering how hard it was to get our schedules together. He probably thought I wasn’t that interested and moved on. Guys fall fast, but they seem to move on pretty quick too.

Ended up dreaming about him last night... It was really nice. There was a shipment, I didn’t let myself have hope that it would have been him. And he turned around, and it was him. I said hey and touched his arm. I headed off downstairs talking to the other guys, one of them was teasing me for giving him my number. He came down too. We sat there for a bit, and I asked if I could lean on his shoulder, and we ended up hugging too. That was just wonderful, but it’s sad to know it’d never be reality. 

And I guess all those breaks we had throughout the months still gives me the slightest bit of hope that he might return... But now, 2 whole weeks of not speaking. The glimmer of hope fades as each day passes. Maybe, distance is just what we need, I tell myself. 

But now, there’s also a new guy. So I’m guessing the likelihood of seeing him ever again is almost impossible. But is it really so bad if we never spoke or see each other again? Did he even really care? What were we? 

Feels like history is repeating itself, and honestly, after re-reading old posts, maybe it is. Okay, but this time was slightly different. I fought harder. I should be proud that I got his number, or well, convinced him to get mine. I should be proud for initiating those texts, for finally picking up that video call, for asking him out. 

I do wonder at times if it would have been better if I was just honest from the start, that I was interested and I felt there’s something special, different, but not entirely sure what it was. I had friends tell me that I shouldn’t be too emotional about too much, especially at the start. I mean, I did do this the last time, granted they were all online friends, and now we’re still friends. Maybe it’s different being online vs irl. 

Should I continue fighting for him or just let this be another regret/what if? I guess I chose the latter. I was still too afraid to make a move, I was still too afraid to admit my feelings. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to give him the choice. But I was afraid, what if he only says he feels the same because knowing what I felt? I couldn’t take the leap. 

And the more I thought, the less I knew. What did I ever really know about you? What did I like about you? I guess I didn’t listen to myself enough, or to the rational part at least. The closer you look, the less you see. By the time I remember this, it was a little too late... 

I guess I need to stop trying to define everything. Some questions don’t have answers. Some stories won’t get closures. Not all friendships require daily talking. Why aren’t I okay with this? Am I just too attached to everyone? Does my life just basically revolve around people? Who the fuck am I?

I had been looking back at my old posts, all the way back to 2015, the darkest period of my life. I wanted to see what I did then, how did I handle it and pushed myself through. How the heck did I move on? Sure, it took me like... at least 2 years of moping around, then finally actually properly reaching out to get the help I needed. A couple months of counselling, pushing the focus back on myself, on self love and self care.

And all this unravelled within a couple months.

Granted, I think it was already starting to unravel early this year. All these work and personnel changes really fucked things up, with Covid just adding to it. And then comes those unexpected feelings, not knowing how to deal with it, worrying about how I’m gonna fuck it up, and in turn, fucking it up. Also, not giving myself a break when I truly needed it. I was afraid that if I took a break from texting him (okay I wasn’t really obsessively staring at my phone and replying immediately either, but I could have taken a proper break), I might have ended up losing him, and now, I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost him. 

So yep, losing myself... this time, I don’t think I was able to keep it as contained as I did previously. Loss of appetite, exhaustion... I guess at least I don’t exactly sigh as much as I did during the start of the year? But I guess now with Covid and mom at home, she’s noticed the symptoms too. And I guess how I tend to stay cooped in my room, retreat back after meals etc, not really making as much convos with my parents too... Maybe even agitation or irritation as my mom noticed too... 

She thinks it’s more physical, with my abnormal periods and stuff, like maybe I’m anaemic. Oof, and that one day she asked if I was alright because I didn’t seem happy. I literally broke down when I went back to my room. I try so hard to mask it all because I don’t want people to worry, and I want people to still be able to count on me when they need to. Though I’m pretty sure my colleagues noticed too. So I push myself. Sometimes I guess I pretend to be alright, cope with humour as my defence mechanism (self preservation through dissociation, amirite?), but then it comes crashing down the next day or next minute. 

I’m just human. I need to allow myself to feel. I need to embrace that I feel a lot, sometimes a little too much. I shouldn’t hate myself for caring too much, for feeling too much. I need to remember to allow myself to rest, or else this burnt out and exhaustion won’t do me or anyone any good. Yes, I want to be there for others, but sometimes you need to save yourself first. 

I’ve got one life to live, so I gotta live it. Right now it feels like I’m just surviving, otherwise basically floating through time and space. But it’s time to really live. it’s time to stop trying to keep everything under control. Sometimes a mistake is a destiny and sometimes we mess things up for the better. Stop comparing your progress and path to others. 

Recovery isn’t a straight line. You’re gonna feel good and then bad. You’re gonna feel like a bad-ass bitch who needs no one, but then the next you might be crying from the pain of missing him. Sometimes it will just get worse before it gets better. Real growth isn’t linear, it’s a step forward and 20 steps back. You’re gonna be tempted to text him, to hear his voice, to try one more time, but then you also gotta remember all the progress you’ve made. People are hard to forget and change takes time. 

Like Chandler and Joey were nudging Ross to move on from Rachel back in Season 1, maybe your friends had nudged you to move on too. My friends have been. Maybe our happiness just aren’t meant to be with each other. But I would love for you to be happy, even if it’s without me. 

So, I guess imma do a separate post about all the lessons I’ve re-learnt. It was a real headache trying to write this piece already. Thanks to anyone who’s actually taken the time to read this. Take care everyone! 

X

[quinlinkin]

take it from me ( i’d be lost without you ) ↳ Q’s twdg writing challenge

character(s): willy, mitch, ruby, aasim, louis, violet, omar, rosie, aj, tenn, clementine ship(s): aasim/ruby ( rusim ), clementine/violet ( violentine ) word count: 1462 author’s note: i mean, when aren’t we all in need of some pure, wholesome willy moments? takes place in the spring after the events of tfs ( in which everyone is alive bc to hell with canon sometimes amirite )

[   ao3 link   ]

*credits to the wonderful @stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale​​​​​​​​​ for creating this challenge! you can view the entire prompt list + further details here. happy writing!!

                                                         ― ☼ ―

                                          day thirteen ; hug.

It’s on an early, sunny spring day in which Willy declares a brand new, totally legitimate holiday.

National Hug Day. Well- Ericson Resident Hug Day, at the very least. He also realizes that he doesn’t actually know what the current date is, but he’s fairly certain Aasim does. He’ll be sure to not only ask him about it later, but request that he write down this new holiday so they can remember it every single year from now on.

The idea is promptly born as Willy sits upon the admin building’s front staircase, idly practicing the knife tricks that Mitch had taught him over the long winter months. Though his attention only remains focused on twirling the blade around between his fingertips for so long, and eventually, he finds himself looking out across the expanse of the courtyard.

Today is the first nice day they’ve had since the cold weather had finally begun to lessen. The sun is bright and warm, just enough for them to safely ditch their heavy winter gear in favor of lighter, more comfortable clothes. Louis isn’t wearing his trench coat anymore, the sleeves of his baseball tee rolled up past his elbows as he cleans arrows from their earlier hunting trip. Mitch leaves the admin building in a simple t-shirt, ruffling Willy’s already wild hair as he passes him on the steps.

Though, even with how normal everything appears to finally be, Willy can’t help but feel as if there’s a certain something missing. Winter, as always, had taken its toll on everyone. They’d only barely scraped by on their dangerously low food supply, suffered through the bitter cold and heaping snow, forced to all sleep in the common room to conserve body heat that ultimately left everyone largely irritated with one another for several different reasons.

Willy may be used to Mitch’s snoring, but that certainly doesn’t mean anyone else is.

Yet, even as the weather steadily improves and everyone is slowly but surely able to return back to a far more comfortable schedule, they all still seem… off.

There’s not enough happiness around here, Willy eventually decides. And so, he sparks the plan to change that. Besides, everyone likes hugs, right? They’re supposed to make people feel better, and that’s exactly what he intends to do.

He starts with an easy one. While he and Mitch don’t exactly hug each other on a regular basis, they are brothers. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing in the world. Willy approaches him as he’s stacking up freshly chopped firewood, and wordlessly wraps his arms around his waist.

Mitch tenses for a fraction of a second, before realizing it’s just Willy.

“Uh… what’s the hug for, man?” he rasps, patting Willy on the back as he returns it anyway. His voice has improved somewhat over the past few months, but it still sounds different. Scratchy and hoarse, like someone with a really bad flu.

Not that Willy minds, of course. The main thing that matters to him is that he’s here , and not dead like Lilly had very nearly succeeded in achieving. It doesn’t bother him in the least if his voice sounds a little funny, now.

“I decided today is hug day,” Willy explains simply, letting him go after a moment. “I think everyone really needs one. Y’know, after the winter and… everything.”

Mitch instantly gives him a warm smile. “Sounds like a great idea to me.”

Willy nods affirmatively. “Totally! So, you can go hug someone too, if you want.”

Then, before Mitch can formulate a response, Willy is off once again in search of the nearest person. Which, happens to be Ruby as she tends to the horse they’d brought back from the Delta. As usual, Aasim is right there with her, though he keeps a safe distance from the animal. He refuses to admit it, but Willy knows he’s definitely scared of it.

“Hi, Ruby,” Willy chirps, and again, without waiting for a reply, simply goes in to hug her as well.

“Oh- ” she exclaims in mild surprise, but is quick to recover. She hugs him back sincerely, one hand still grasping the rope attached to the horse’s halter.

Willy wastes no time between his rounds. Once releasing Ruby, he heads straight for Aasim.

“Wait, wha-” Aasim manages to utter before Willy is enveloping him, next. He may not be much of a hugger - well, towards anyone that isn’t Ruby, of course - but today, Willy vows to make sure everyone is.

Squeezing his arms around Aasim briefly, he steps back in order to clarify, “Today is hug day.”

Aasim quirks an inquisitive brow. “According to…?”

“Me,” Willy states proudly, beaming a big smile.

“Is that so?” Ruby says, wearing a smile of her own that’s incredibly fond around the edges. “Well, in that case… We’d better participate, right, hon?”

And with that, she’s leaning up on her toes and wrapping her arms around Aasim’s neck to pull him into another hug of their own. Unlike with Willy, he doesn’t remain stiff and awkward towards the contact, having no apparent problems with returning it in earnest.

Perfect! Willy thinks, grinning even wider. It’s working!

With his trend now catching on, Willy enthusiastically moves onward. Louis gets a hug next, where he’s still cleaning arrows, and it seems to immensely brightens his day judging by how he cheerfully laughs and thanks him. Then, it’s Violet’s turn, who, much like Aasim, isn’t the biggest fan of hugs even though she returns it all the same.

Omar receives his hug as he prepares dinner, Willy even making sure to include Rosie as she begs for scraps next to the large, steaming pot of food.

Finally, Willy reaches AJ and Tenn where they sit upon the ground as they color together. Willy kneels down in order to reach AJ’s level, making sure not to sneak up on him as he remembers the younger’s particular response to such sudden actions.

“It’s national hug day,” Willy tells him as he gives him a quick embrace around the shoulders. “That means everyone gets a hug.”

As he turns to Tenn, however, he finds himself hesitating. While he’s long since expressed his forgiveness towards what happened with Mitch, sometimes, he can’t help but still feel as if it’s technically his fault. It’s taken Willy a long time to come to terms with his big brother’s injury, and after watching him be taken away by Lilly and her people without knowing whether he was even alive or not, it remains a frightening memory.

But, like he said: everyone gets a hug. It’s not like he’s still mad at him, at least.

Tenn tentatively returns the gesture when Willy wraps his arms around him. When they pull back, he’s smiling genuinely, and Willy suddenly feels better about including him. They all deserve to be happy in his opinion, and that most definitely includes Tenn.

“Um, thank you…” Tenn murmurs quietly. Willy gives him a friendly nod.

And as he turns to survey the courtyard once again, he’s met with a promising sight. Louis can be seen moving in to dramatically hug an obviously annoyed Violet, and Willy laughs to himself as he catches sight of her one-eyed glare from around her eye patch.

There’s still one person left, however. As if right on cue, he spots her hobbling out from the dorm building, and Willy races forward to meet her.

He spares a fleeting look towards the prosthetic leg she’s currently balancing on. It’s the newest model, worked painstakingly hard on by himself, Mitch, Aasim, and AJ. He’s happy to see her getting used to it, and he’s sure she’s happy to finally be rid of those pesky crutches.

“Hey, Willy,” Clem greets with a smile.

This time, Willy does at least manage to spare a quick “Hi ” before moving in. He makes sure to be extra careful, however, not wanting to knock her over with an overly forceful hug. Yet even as slow as he winds his arms around her waist, he makes sure to squeeze with an equal amount of force as he showed towards everyone else.

“Today is hug day,” he explains again, for one last time. “We can all celebrate it every year.”

He can hear Clem chuckle softly as she returns the sentiment. “Every year, huh? Then I guess we’d better make sure to have Aasim write it down on his calendar.”

“Yeah! That’s what I was thinking!” Willy exclaims as he backs away.

And with that, his task is done. He and Clementine part ways, and he watches with bright, sparkling eyes as the first thing she does upon approaching Violet, is hug her.

Their first ever hug day? He thinks it’s safe to call it a smashing success.

[slowly52]

[ hold you close ]

[ lovestruck au || male reader ] • yoongi

warning: it's long, it's cringey, it's angsty. anyway, it's three am, so i don't even care anymore. maybe i'll make a second part with a happy ending, we'll see ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

let's start with a little bit of context

you've known each other since you were really young, let's say elementary school or something like that

so you feel like you already know everything about him, and that he knows everything about you

back when he was getting to terms with his sexuality, you were the first one he told

you've seen him cry, you've seen him laugh, and all that cheesy shit

you've seen him places where some of his partners didn't even come close to

for years, you've only seen him as a brother, and you were sure that he felt the same way

but, you know, college always makes things different

specially if you don't get to see each other often

after eight months without a proper hang out, you started feeling left out

of course you weren't jealous, he had all the right to have other friends besides you

but you missed him

you didn't have the guts to call him, or send him a message

"i can't think of any excuse..."

"what if i distract him from something important?"

well

in the end, you didn't have to

he called you first, right in the middle of the night

not gonna lie, you heart skipped a beat

anyway, you picked it up

"hey, y/n... uh... a- are you busy right now?"

something sounded off

he was sad

"yeah, why? are you okay?"

"mhm, yeah, i'm fine. it's just... can i stay at your place tonight?"

okay, he wasn't fine

"c'mon, you know you don't even have to ask"

you said, trying to lift his mood a bit

"do you want me to pick you up?"

you heard a sniff

it made you panic a little bit

"yeah... yeah, that would be great"

in a blink, you were already inside of your car, heading to his apartment

as you got close you noticed someone sitting at the side of the road, in front of a small park nearby

knowing it was yoongi, you parked the car and walked towards him

as soon as he saw you, he got up and hugged you, hiding his face so you didn't see him crying

you both stayed silent for a bit

"... do you wanna talk about it?"

you asked, feeling your body get colder because of the wind

he shaked his head

"... okay, you don't need to"

again, silence

"we have to get inside, though. you'll get a cold"

he chuckled, and let go of you while wiping his tears with his sleeve

as you were driving home, you made sure you were holding his hand as much as you could

(automatic is a blessing amirite)

long ago you learned it was the best way to comfort him, since he didn't really like to talk when he was in a bad mood

still, he let out a few words this time

"i missed you"

you smiled, your heart beating a bit faster

"i missed you too"

and that was all

when you got to your apartment, he looked at everything like it was the first time

"huh, it's really been a long time"

you chuckled, taking off your jacket

"i'm gonna make tea, do you want some?"

he was busy looking at the pictures hanging on the walls of the hallway

"hm, okay. thank you"

he was smiling again, looking at a collage you made together when you were in middle school

it was mostly funny pictures of you both from when you were toddlers

you ended up watching a movie together, with him clinging to your arm the whole time

you didn't even remember what the movie was about, since that was the only thing you could remember about that moment

after getting ready to sleep, you turned off the lights and laid besides him

he snuggled into you, trying to get his nose warmer

that made you remember how he always had cold hands as a teen

after a while, your free arm got around him, petting his hair

a lot of memories were coming back to you those last seconds, from all the times you cuddled before

you felt him tighten his grip around your arm

he was crying again, apparently

"he cheated on me"

you heard him say quietly, the sound muffled because of your clothes covering his face

"he even had the balls to do it in my apartment, that bastard..."

at that, all you could do was listen

"it makes me sick to even think about it..."

you patted his back, softly

you were sad for him, and also mad at his now ex-boyfriend for fucking up such a precious relationship

what could that other person have that made them better than yoongi, anyway?

actually, don't even think about it

the answer's nothing

fucker was blind

a n y w a y

"he didn't deserve you"

you said, anger and jealousy running through your veins

"yeah, i knew you would say that"

his breathing became softer, telling you that he was calming down

"... maybe i don't deserve you, either"

softly, you lifted his chin so you could see his face

at this point, you weren't even thinking about the stuff you were doing

you wiped his tears and kissed his forehead, with all the love you could possibly put into that, trying not to cross any lines

"sounds unlikely, huh? i couldn't even function correctly these last months without talking to you"

you both laughed, the mood finally feeling a bit lighter

"did you know i love you?"

he said, still smiling

still, it hurt like hell

you couldn't help but feel you heart slowly breaking into pieces, knowing that if you answered, it wouldn't have the same meaning

"i love you too"

[novarasalas]

OK time another Honerva question (I know I've asked two already but you're my favourite person to ask): Honerva claimed to alternative reality Lotor when he rejected her that she did love him like a mother, but did she really? Admittedly I don't have any children of my own to judge maternal love, but I always got the feeling that Honerva after regaining her memories just saw Lotor as 'her' property and not as a person in his own right.

Hey, don’t worry about it, anon - I’m loving this just as much as you are.

- - - 

You don’t have to have a child of your own to realize that Honerva is a bit lacking in the parental love department.

Let’s look at the scene you mentioned:

[…] I assure you, my love for you is that of a mother for her child.

What a weird thing to say, and what a weird way to say it. It’s almost as if she’s been saying this to herself, over and over, as if repeating it would make it true.

But we know it’s not. And so does baby Lotor.

She’s not my mother!

When she first regains her memories, you could almost imagine that she had been feeling guilt, not just in how she’d forgotten him, but because of the abuse she’d both facilitated and taken part in. 

But as time goes on, we see that it’s not guilt - she’s lost her grip on something that she very much feels is hers. 

If it was about love for her child, she would have been heartbroken that Lotor refused to come to her. 

Instead…

Come to me.

That screenshot can’t capture the way she says that. There’s no warmth in her voice - it’s the cold demand of someone being denied something they think they deserve.

It’s something that begins manifesting back in S6 when she has him brought to her and he denies her. She only orders him to be taken away. She’s already had him brought to her - she’s not going to let him get away now.

And most tellingly,  in S8 when she’s standing over his corpse, she says “We’ll all be together soon.”

Who’s we? Zarkon’s dead. Lotor is, apparently, also dead. 

If she actually cared, if she actually loved them, she’d have been upset, inconsolable, incapacitated with grief. 

But no. She just goes to get another set of family, their feelings in the matter be damned. 

It’s just as before: she didn’t care about the safety of anyone else, she had to save her pregnancy. If it destroys the planet and her people, so what?

And now she has to have her family. And if it destroys space and time, well…

Objects can be replaced. 

But people? Baby Lotor gets it right again.

Lotor: My mother is dead. And you cannot replace her!

The family she may have loved once is dead. She traverses time and space to find them again, but they’re not the same ones. They’re not her family. She knows that, and she doesn’t care. She’ll make them her family, whether they like it or not.

Because the price of denying her what she feels is rightly hers is death.

- - - 

While I’m on the subject, can I talk about bad parents for a second? It’s gonna get slightly personal.

In several of my posts here, I talk about how much I relate to Keith, mostly in manner and disposition, but also the kid has obviously been through some emotional neglect, and like…same.

But after seeing what Lotor went throught with Zarkon, then Honerva…yeah.

I would also fly into the sun to get away from my dad. And sadly, I saw a lot of others echo the sentiment. 

In the real world, these two mostly resemble Narcissistic Parents.

Psychology Today has an article titled “10 Signs of a Narcissistic Parent”.

The author defines Narcissistic Parents as:

A narcissistic parent can be defined as someone who lives through, is possessive of, and/or engages in marginalizing competition with the offspring. Typically, the narcissistic parent perceives the independence of a child (including adult children) as a threat, and coerces the offspring to exist in the parent’s shadow, with unreasonable expectations. In a narcissistic parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being herself or himself.

 and it includes things like this:

5.  Manipulation

Common examples of narcissistic parenting manipulation include:

Guilt trip: “I’ve done everything for you and you’re so ungrateful.”

Blaming: “It’s your fault that I’m not happy.”

Shaming: “Your poor performance is an embarrassment to the family.”

Negative comparison: “Why can’t you be as good as your brother?”

Unreasonable pressure: “You WILL perform at your best to make me proud.”

Manipulative reward and punishment: “If you don’t pursue the college major I chose for you, I will cut off my support.”

Emotional coercion: “You’re not a good daughter/son unless you measure up to my expectations.”

A common theme running through these forms of manipulation is that love is given as a conditional reward, rather than the natural expression of healthy parenting. On the other hand, the withholding of love is used as threat and punishment.

….yikes, amirite?

That guilt trip one especially sounds like:

Countless worlds have fallen in to wake of my efforts to return to you. And this is how you welcome me?

It’s the classic narcissist parent: They’ve made so many sacrifices for you, and now you have to repay them. 

Poor Lotor. At this point, I’m about ready to traverse the multiverse to find him so I can take him out for drinks. We’ll compare damage and reassure one another that we’re not like our parents.

So, in conclusion, you’re absolutely right, anon. There’s no real maternal love left in Honerva, just some weird perversion of the notion. At this point, to her, Lotor is just and extension of herself, a thing to be own and used. She doesn’t care about him and how he feels, only that he’s with her.  

- - - 

And lastly, if I haven’t broken your heart enough, look at one last thing with me:

Look at him. He’s so happy to see his mother again.

That means that in this reality, the one without the entities corrupting influence, they were a happy family. 

Honerva wasn’t a bad person. One her own, she could have been a loving wife and mother. I can’t blame her for wanting that. 

But she went about everything the wrong way, just as Lotor did with his colony scheme. 

Honerva wanted to save her son. 

Zarkon wanted to save his wife. 

Lotor wanted to save his people.

What a tragic family.

[heyhihbd-blog]

hey  this gon get real long and sappy so if u aren’t in the mood, come back in like 7 years 

The first time I saw you was on a random Tuesday in 2010. This was back when I was fast and neat and loved sucking up to the teachers who liked me for being a good student (well well well, how the turn tables). 

I remember it so vividly because I’d finished my EVS work before everyone else (as usual) and was waiting for Rathee ma’am (that’s her spelling, I checked) to give me a star on my hand, but she wasn’t giving me attention.  And of course, 7 year old Ira was salty about this.  She was too busy talking to some scrawny lil kid who was crying at the door.

Scrawny lil kid was you.  What kinda douchebag 6 year old cries on their first day of school? Not that my first impression of you matters, but I thought this would be a fun lil memory to throw in there.

Over time I grew to like you. And then like like you. Which I was very good at hiding, clearly, like no one found out ever.  I didn’t know anything about infatuating and shit obviously I was like 10, but I could tell you were different. 

If anyone else ever stopped class and declared I was staring at em I’d avoid them till the end of time but with you I didn’t care. I mean, yeah I was hella embarrassed, but I’m hella embarrassed about everything and I didn’t hate you for it. 

I also instinctively trusted you for no apparent reason.  Like in 6th grade, the first and worst time I did an oopsiedoodle, I told you; even though I could’ve literally gone to anyone else. 

When I got older, I realized I wanted to do a lot of things in life - everyday things and bigger things. But I didn’t wanna do em alone, and I didn’t wanna do em with anyone else.  There’s always been things I’d wished I told you when I thought of em, but I didn’t (and don’t) wanna be cheesy and squeamish, and I want you to know em without hearing em from me; but that’s not how stuff works.  Plus I’ll have to tell you at some point and anything could happen any day so now or never amirite.   

I admire every small thing that you do.  Like how you touch your nose when you lie, and clench your jaw when you think too hard, or how you flail your arms when you’re embarrassed. You become unnervingly still when you’re upset, and your voice drops like 6 octaves when you’re mad.  Your heartbeat is really calming, and when I was sitting on the floor trying to breathe right, all I did was listen to your heart quopping and I felt safer.  Also you smell amazing but I’m not gonna talk about that. 

As weird and grey as this sounds, I love watching you grow.  Not particularly physically (my neck hurts), and I don’t know if you realize this but you are becoming a better person everyday. The way you handle things today are 50 times better than how you would’ve handled them last month and that by itself is one of the most motivating things to me as an outsider.  You make me want to be a better person too, to be stronger and smarter and try harder and push myself to do more and live more than I did yesterday. 

You matter to me more than anyone else, and it took me long enough to notice that.  When 11 year old me got mails from 8th graders who called me a whore for liking you (which still makes no sense to me), I didn’t care. When people I was closest to told me they disliked you for some reason, I knew they were wrong.  When the fact that you were disappointed in me hurt more than the wounds on my body did, I realized I love you so much more than I thought I did. 

And sometimes I get jealous of people. All those hot 10/10s walking around with their perfect bods and happy families and it makes me uncomfortable-ish; but then I remember that I have you, and they don’t, and that definitely one-ups all their fake cuteness and everything feels like it’s worth it.

Every time you say you’re proud of me, or you’re soft and encouraging, it makes me feel the same joy I felt when we went to adopt Caspar and his mum (who is also a dog) put a puppy in my lap and I felt like the universe had messed up and accidentally given me the most rewarding emotion I’d ever felt.  Every time you’re tough and straight forward and tell me what to do it makes me very very very glad I have you in my life. 

You get smarter, wiser, stronger, hotter, every single day, and I go to bed every night loving you a lil bit more than I did when I woke up.  And I know you work better alone, but I want you to know that I’ll be here when you need me; and that you can rely on me for anything, at least as much as I rely on you (okay not anything but most things or some things or whatever my incompetent ass can handle but i’ll probably do anything because you’re kinda like my favorite person to exist after RDJ).

Did I make a new tumblr so I could spam you with sap because I didn’t have my phone?  Yes I did, thanks for noticing.  (It’s literally called heyhihbd).

I could go on forever but I wont ur welc. 

But thanks,  thanks for sticking around, and putting up with me and believing in me and thanks for dressing up like a carrot and having no thighs and wearing ugly glasses and looking like Vignesh and being the smartest guy in the room. 

I love you, and considering we probably have like 31 years before the earth dies, I hope we get to survive the apocalypse together.  But you gotta buy me food tho, the amount of food you don’t buy me is concerning. 

Happy Birthday ya dingus 💝

P.S: I still have your bow tie and I’m not giving it back. 

[nobeliumoxygenoxygen]

Seromina || Firsts

For Sero Ship Week Day 3: Firsts at @seroshipweek​

SUMMARY: Ashido tends to overshare her personal life on social media so it’s only fitting that she shares her favourite moments on it too, right?

But this time, it’s only for one pair of eyes.

GENRE: sero hanta x ashido mina, social media au (I think?)

TEXT from your queen 💕

follow @iloveutapeboi on insta its private but dw youll be accepted start from the first post!!!!!!!!

POSTS

1

[Image: Candid of Sero taken from the side; slightly blurry, low angle as if the photographer was trying to be discreet as they took it. He’s wearing an orange hoodie with black stripes. He’s grinning at someone in front of him and he holds a bitten meat pie in one hand. In the background, there are barely visible bowling lanes.]

Caption: the first time i thought to myself “maybe seros actually cute and i actually like him in a like like way” if that make sense lol. maybe there were other times but this was the earliest memory i could think of. this was after that laser tag game we all played and you did your whole dramatic self sacrificing for me (lol quickest way to my heart - take a laser tag shot for me). 

2

[Image: Image of the city taken from inside a bus. Half the image is of the seats of the bus whilst the other half are buildings of the city. A few people are in the shot, but they’re faces are unrecognisable.]

Caption: first time I realised I was in loveeee (i love youu) how cheesy amirite. its a bus because i realised it when we were going back to ua together after a field trip and idk i just had this light bulb moment ok ugh this is too cheesy were done here ily but im cringing too hard at the cheesinesssss (two posts in and im already dying but im pushing thru!!!!)

3

[Image: 2 puppies being held by someone who is clearly Sero by the look of the arms and his orange black striped hoodie. One puppy in each arm; a white pit bull and a brown one.]

Caption: our not-so-official first date?? idk if you’d call it that but like......we were alone together so idk??? u know i was going to actually confess today but the dogs were so cute they distracted me!! so i forgot lol!!! (theyre only sliiiiiightly cuter than u dw dw!!! 🤣)

4

[Image: Sero’s silhouette inside a movie theater. He’s facing the camera but it’s too dark to see much other than the shadows of his face and the glint of his white teeth in his grin. In the far left of the photo, the Lego Movie is playing.]

Caption: our official first date (tho i guess it was kinda rushed??? considering i literally told u i liked u like an hour earlier lmao but i wouldnt have it any other way ❤️)

5

[Image: Ashido’s room, taken from the doorway. The bed is unmade; the curtains are drawn back to let the sunlight in; the desk is a mess of school books and loose sheets. Ashido’s arms are outstretched in front of the camera; she’s forming a heart with her hands.]

Caption: place we had our first kiss!!! (tho we failed like five times and kept laughing!! the movies are wayyyy too serious - they make it seem like ur not allowed to laugh!! our kisses are so much better😘)

6

[Image: Pathway leading up into a park where cherry blossom trees frame the edges. There are a few passerbys and one dog, legs a blur, running through the image.]

Caption: place i asked you to be my boyfriend because SOMEONE STILL had this WEIRD idea that?? i??? didnt?? like?? them? EVEN AFTER?? LIKE FIVE DATES?? AND FIVE KISSES???

7

[Image: UA Heights Alliance common room. Looking through the windows, it’s night and there’s no one in there but there’s food wrappers strewn across the coffee table and the floor.]

Caption: place you said your first i love you (ok i suppose i shouldnt be salty about the boyfriend asking thing because first ilys are such a milestone!!!! ps. im still sorry i panicked when u said it lmao i love how we laugh about it but i know from sources coughbakuyellingthat1tapeboiwasstressingashell that you almost cried ilyyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️)

8

[Image: Close up focus of Sero’s lit up face. He’s giving a close-eyed smile to someone slightly to the left of the camera. Just making it in the frame is a slice of bright blond hair. The background is blurred but it is clearly of a busy beach; the sky is blue and there’s not a cloud in sight. There are two figures, one shirtless with red hair and one wearing a wetsuit cut off at the lower thigh with what might be black or dark purple hair in the water in the far background.]

Caption: when i said my first i love you (i love you toos and i love yous on phones dont count!!! and also u are sooooooo cute in this photo!!! not that ur not always cute ofc 😋)

9

[Image: Text screenshot. (Sent) Ashido: IM SO MAD AT U SERO HANTA ANSWER MEEE (Receiving) Sero: NEVER U TRAITOR (Sent) Ashido: UR THE TRAITOR!!!!]

Caption: first fight :( one of the saddest chapters of my life i hope we never do that again ❤️

10

[Image: Rice with natto on top, chopsticks on the side. The dish is on top of pink, patterned napkins.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!) anniversaries (see??? taking pics of food is VERY important!! and u dared to make fun of my ‘attempts at being aesthetics’!!)

11

[Image 1: Necklace in shape of a crown with engraving of words “Alien Queen”.  Image 2: Necklace is flipped over with engraving of words “Ashido Mina”.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!!!) anniversary presents (I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY R U SO NICEEEEEEE ITS SO CUTE IM WEARING IT EVERYDAY ILY)

12

[Image: From the side, Sero smiling softly, looking up at a beautiful orange sky to match his brighter orange hoodie. His eyes are wide but he’s happy. Behind are a few trees.]

Caption: I love youuuuuuuuuuuu sero hantaaaaaaaaaa and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spam of heart emojis* (also u r seriously wearing the same hoodie in like five of these pics w h y)

TEXT to your queen 💕

im actualy cryin can i call u

TEXT from your queen 💕

oof  [Image: google search bar “how to comfort crying boyfriend”.] ofc u can!!

CALL TRANSCRIPT:

Sero: How long have you been planning this? I love you so muchhhhhhhh. I’m crying, can you hear my tears? How did you do it? Did you go to every place or were you planning this from the beginning?

Ashido: *laughter* You can’t hear tears dummy. And you’re not meant to cry! Its meant to be a happy thing! *more laughter*

Sero: ...Glad to know your happy about my pain. ...Its amazing I have literally no words Ashido. I love it-I love you and I love us. Thank you so much.

Ashido: Awww don’t make me blush. It was nothing!

Sero: What do you mean NOTHING? Don’t insult yourself Ashido Mina this is...I don’t know-EVERYTHING!

Ashido: Okay that’s true. I’m awesome.

Sero: I’m going to treasure this forever. You’ll never delete this account right?

Ashido: *giggling* Course not!

Sero: It’s too amazing. Seriously, and I gave you the most cliche relationship present ever.

Ashido: Eesh don’t worry! I love my present! Besides it was the final piece for the account!

Sero: If you say so. You know, I don’t think a meme war counts as a fight...in a relationship...

Ashido: Of course it does! I was soooo angry at you. How could you side with Kirishima?! It was so frustrsting! You wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Sero: ...Trust me I believe. *muffled* Especially after you taped me to the ceiling.

Ashido: What was that?

Sero: Nothing! Also how’d you take the pic of your room with your arms in front of you? Is it...*whispers loudly* sorcery?

Ashido: *giggling* You got it. I have a second quirk that I-...I kept secret. Yup. But I’m telling you because you’re my boyfriend and all.

Sero: And I will totally believe you, because you’re my girlfriend, and all. Hey, I know you need your beauty sleep but can I come over--

Ashido: Yes!

Sero: --tomorrow--wait, what?

Ashido: Oh. Well-

Sero: *muffled snort* Someone’s desperate.

Ashido: *huff* Shhh! You can come over anytime!

Sero: Would you really not mind if I came over now? At like...*shuffling* eleven?

Ashido: Is that even a question? If you come over now, I can add it to the journal!

Sero: The journal?

Ashido: The account Sero!

Sero: Okay...Why? It’s not the first time I’ve been to your house. Firsts was the theme right?

Ashido: Yep! And I can make it ‘First night spent together’ wink wink.

Sero: …*muffled laugh* Whatever floats your boat.

Ashido: But you’re getting a cab here right? You better not walk out this late at night!

Sero: I mean, we’re both training to be heroes if we can’t walk out at night then what could we do--

Ashido: Sero you butt!

Sero: --but yes I’m getting a cab.

Ashido: Good! You better stay on the phone the whole time too!

Sero: Of course. I love you Ashido Mina.

Ashido: And I love you Sero Hanta! ...Wait are you still wearing that orange hoodie?

Sero: ...*distant mumbles* Why do you hate my beloved hoodie so much?

Ashido: *equally distant mumbles* If you wear it one more time the photos will think you have one hoodie.

Sero: What would you say if I said yes?

Ashido: I’d say we’ve got our next date planned and you can guess what it is.

Sero: ...I mean, I wouldn’t say no to any time with you anyway?

Ashido: Pfft, stop being cute. Just-alright, whatever. Tomorrow? At whatever time we wake up I guess?

Sero: It’s a date.

A/N: completely forgot that they live in the same building so pretend it’s holidays or something 🤷 buuuut i hope you enjoyed this was harder than expected so im rlly sorry if they seem ooc 😳!! Thanks for reading!!

[askjeeveshypno-blog]

I don’t play Everquest, but I did play at this Con: AskJeeves’ guide to being one of those people who plays all the time, if that’s your jam

I wrote a long response to a dude on Fetlife.  This is a cut-down version.  

I'm a female top who loves wrestling and fighting scenes. I came to Charmed with three scenes planned, albeit loosely.  One “you find my voice pleasurable,” two wrestling scenes.  As it was, the voice one went just about exactly as planned, one wrestling scene went a different direction and the third person didn’t show up to the con.   I put up a request for a wrestling scene on the "In Search of" board, but got no takers*. I also used the "In Search Of" board a lot to meet new people by giving them the play they wanted. Ultimately I got my wrestling scene by offering to do one with another woman who wanted to be a dragon wrestling with other mythological creatures. So I used a Gryphon headspace. If memory serves I also spanked a guy quite informally, did knifeplay on a woman I'd met in the DC scene but never really talked to, was a "boxing instructor" in one boxing scene and a "punching bag" in another. I co-topped a scene putting on meaningful temporary tattoos, I topped a close friend for a "blankets as restraints" scene because she was cold and hadn't bottomed all weekend. A casual friend wanted "hypnotic caffeine" so I did a quick "energy scene" with her that barely counts as a scene. And I was a demo bottom in two different classes. Oh, and I installed "Happy Fun Buttons" on circa ten different people. I'd pretty much offered them to anyone who wanted one.  On paper, this sounds like an absurd amount of play. And some of it was with people I know well. But a whole lot of it wasn't. I'm afraid I'm short on gaming metaphor, and I can't fix a community, I can only alter my own behavior, so here's kinda the blueprint of what I did:

1. Talk up what you like on social media well in advance of the con.  As I noted above, this had a mixed record for me, but I still feel like it's worth a try.  I'm turning a friend into GlaDOS at NEEHU and there's already a "turning Socks into GlaDOS" planning committee with its own discord feed.  

2.  When you're trying to meet new people, the "in search of" boards are your friend.  Again, I never did get my wrestling scene but the fantasy one was still fun.  And MUCH of the play I did get was me seeing what a stranger or casual acquaintance wanted, thinking "I can do that" and offering to make it happen.  And a lot of those scenes were GREAT.  

3.  You have something in common with everyone at the con.  You're at the con.  You can start a conversation with literally anyone with "So, those elevators suck, amirite?"** or " How's your con going?"  

4. Be flexible.  Asking for play from other people is like asking for a pony.  You have no actual right to demand a pony.  If your pony is funny-lookin, you may find that funny-lookin ponies are still pretty fun.  If you get a picture of a pony, well, that's more than you had before.  They more willing you are to be "I can be a gryphon because, hey, wrestling scene" or "Well, hell, I can be a punching bag for a boxing scene if that will give you what you want!" the more likely you are to have a lot of scenes and the best way to get known as someone who has a lot of scenes is to have a lot of scenes.

5. Not known?  Get known.  Talk in class, teach at the unconference, volunteer and hang out with people who are waiting for the elevators.  People who want to hang with their existing friends go on vacations together.  It’s cheaper.  People come to a con to make new friends. So assume you’ve got a couple hundred potential friends around act be friendly. 

6. Show up with a supportive partner or awesome friends or both if you possibly can.  Don't plan to do all your play with those friends, but have them there.  When a scene goes flat and you feel stupid, having friends who are like "Remember the time I was playing with that hot girl who had that horrible abreaction?  Shitty night, great story" makes a LOT of difference. YMMV, but for this very-average-looking woman these worked quite well. 

*Not going to lie, putting up a note on the ISO board and getting no interest SUCKS.  

** Bitching about something is a cheap way to bond, and makes you look the a whiner if you overdo it, but goodness it works in limited doses. 

[parkjmini]

moon & sun | pkjm

Pairing: Jimin + Reader Word Count: 4029 Genre: angst  Prompt: Person A had a bad breakup and in order to make their ex jealous, they ask Person B to be their fake girl/boyfriend. Little do they know, Person B has been in love with Person A for years.

[a/n]: this is my entry to @nightbts writing contest !! im not that competitive but i thought this was something fun to do and i love her writing so why not amirite

“Can you help me with something?” Jimin peered up at your shaking, cautious figure. He’d do anything for you, you just had to ask. He invited you in, concerned as to how fragile you seemed. The inevitable tears slipped from the crevices of your eyes and hit the concrete floor below.

You declined, hoping to make your visit as short as possible. Jimin cleared his throat and shifted uneasily on his leg. “Okay.”

Bewildered at his sudden promise, you shot up to stare at him frantic. “I-I didn’t even say what it was.” 

“You don’t need to, (Y/N). I’ll do it. Whatever you need, I’ll be there for you.” Jimin sighed heavily, however, you still couldn’t believe you were asking this of him.

“You might want to hear what it is first before agreeing, Jimin. I don’t want you to regret your decision.” You gulped, swallowing the knot in your throat. He shook his head, but your eyes remained glued to the floor behind him, quite ashamed of yourself for burdening him with your favor.

“Okay. But trust me, my choice will remain the same. I will do it, regardless.” He nonchalantly leaned against his door frame, carelessly listening. That was his first mistake.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, only for a bit.” Jimin popped up and blinked at you with wide, doe-like eyes. His heart drummed a thundering beat and tiny, vicious flutters accompanied his stomach. His body gave away his hesitation, his palms getting slick with the thought. “See.. this is why I wanted you to hear it first.”

Relaxing, his tense shoulders dropped. He scanned the floor to try to make sense of everything. “What happened?”

“We broke up, today. He left me for someone else.” You shrugged, the sadness drooping down your face. Everything felt torn, every word, every memory of the moment before, all cut through you. Your ex-boyfriend destroyed your frail heart, and made the young insecure girl reappear. 

A small voice wanted to remind you that you were enough, but his was louder. You weren’t worth it anymore. 

“For who? Who could be better than you?” Jimin bit his lip to stop him from going on. His light pink cheeks tinted his dewy complexion. His body betrayed him whenever it came to you. He was all red faced and sweaty palms, all fuzzy hearts and nervous blood streams, all tongue-tied and submissive. His pathetic feelings left him troubled. 

He spent years trying to become uninterested, but you did everything that caused his mind to wander to the inexplicable. Your faint voice called his name so lovingly, and your soft stare broke down every wall he built. Your touch caused him to unravel and made him vulnerable. Even the smallest acknowledgment excited him. 

Every since sophomore year of high school, he’d felt this way every breathing moment. He thought it was harmless, because they were going to disappear after graduation. However, you followed him to the same college. He tried to laugh off the jokes about it being fate, but that was when he started to feel scared. He let his miniature crush manifest into something on a grand-scale.

Jimin loved you, and that was what kept him up at night. Those mysterious deliberations terrified him because they weren’t leaving. You haunted him in every class and there wasn’t a slight chance you’d feel the same way.

You were in an infamous relationship with your boyfriend every since the beginning of senior year. He was some hotshot guy with an obnoxious sense of humor. Jimin never understood why you would choose him, but ultimately he had to be happy for you. He was who made you laugh and your beautiful smile shine. Jimin would die to see that enchanting smile of your’s.

There were times when Jimin believed he would be a better boyfriend, but those wouldn’t last long. They were consumed with another thought that even he wasn’t good enough for you — no one was. Jimin deemed himself unworthy to be yours. 

He was merely a coward who admired you from afar. He didn’t stand out because there was no use, he didn’t want you to want him. It was better off that way, which is why your favor only made him second guess his answer.

“A hot sorority chick with a rack the size of my head and an ass that can fit two seats. Oh, but he claims she has a beaming personality and a kind heart behind her two jugs.” You sarcastically commented on your ex-boyfriend’s excuses.

Jimin chuckled at the explicit description and your petty remarks. You and Jimin weren’t the best of friends, but you were close. He always saved you a spot during lectures and respected your personal space. Your ex-boyfriend secretly disliked Jimin, mainly because he knew that Jimin was far much attractive than he ever was. 

Jimin was your perfect candidate. He wasn’t in any committed relationship, and merely slept around with girls. He was your friend and he wasn’t overly attached. Jimin did a strange thing where he’d often distant himself from you, giving you space or maybe giving himself space. 

He was always a secretive person, ever since high school. You two didn’t exactly speak much, until you both attended college together. Even then, he didn’t open up much about his life, especially his love life.

You practically rambled on about your ex-boyfriend any chance you got and hung out with him every day. Jimin knew all his little quirks because of your endless talks. Nonetheless, he still didn’t touch much about who he was seeing.

What you knew about his love life were accumulated rumors from other people. Everyone spoke about Jimin, like he was some royal prince. Jimin had soft features, but a powerful expression. He reeked of an alluring aura and drew in girls from every department. It was no surprise that everyone wanted a piece of him, but Jimin didn’t exactly care.

Every time you’d ask, he’d brush off the subject and say he was too drunk to remember the girl’s name. He’d become defensive and move on, so you never pushed it. 

“Well, my answer remains. I’ll do it, (Y/N). Not for you, of course, but because that scum doesn’t deserve those jugs.” Jimin winked and a tiny part of you felt better that someone was by your side.

“I can’t do it. I’m going to walk in and he’s going to be sitting there with her, holding her hands and giggling together.” You paced back and forth outside the classroom. It was minutes before the start and you and Jimin were still not in your seats.

“Hey, I’m here, remember? You don’t have to face this alone.” Jimin cooed sweetly to displace the nervousness in your system. You weren’t sure how your plan was going to be executed, and it still felt surreal that Jimin agreed to your bizarre idea. “Let me handle it.” 

He lent out his hand for you to take it, and you hesitated before proceeding to do so. “Deep breath.” Jimin mumbled before he pushed the door open and several people stared confusingly at your intertwined fingers.

Jimin probably felt more nervous about holding your hand than you did. The annoying butterflies swirled and caused his heart to stir. He fought off any warmth that dare tried to rise on his cheeks. 

“(Y/N)! How are you?” Your ex-boyfriend stood up in his seat to wave arrogantly at you, his new girl turning to watch your every step.

“She’s a lot better now that she’s not with you.” Jimin ushered you to an empty spot in the row and you settled your things.

“Jimin, why don’t you let her speak for herself?” He mocked and crossed his arms.

“I’m sorry. I don’t like assholes talking to my girlfriend. She only gives time to people who deserve it.” Jimin spat and you gazed upon him with such admiration. Seeing him heated and protecting you sparked a burning feeling in your chest.

There were several gasps from girls in different seats and the expression on your ex-boyfriend’s face was priceless. “You two are dating?” 

Jimin shrugged and joined the seat next to you. Your hand sneaked from under his side and locked fingers once again. He darted to your touch and he gripped his jeans underneath the table. Every second was torture for him.

This was slowly killing him because he knew it was all an act. It wasn’t real, your feelings were only revenge. Jimin’s were more than that, so much more, and that made it a lot harder for him to handle your thoughtless actions. He didn’t know how long he’d last before he’d burst open, and it was only the beginning.

He should be ecstatic to finally be your boyfriend, but the looming fact of everything being fake prevented any joy that would result from it. Jimin was glad he only had to pretend for a week.

Throughout the lecture, your ex-boyfriend repeatedly looked over at you and Jimin. His glare penetrated through your skin and it crawled down your spine. It was the reaction you hoped for, but the feeling wasn't what you expected. Guilt and anger surged to your heart. The painful emotions didn't allow for you to feel satisfaction.

"He keeps looking here." You whispered over to Jimin, who was concentrated on the professor in front of him.

"Isn't that a good thing? We want to make him jealous, right?" He whispered back, not peering up from his notes. He didn't see your defeated expression as you slumped down into your seat.

"Yeah, but why do I still feel horrible? How can he like another without feeling any remorse?"

Jimin paused from scribbling words on his paper. He dropped his pen onto his notebook and shifted in his seat to face you. "Because he doesn't actually like her. He likes what she has."

"Yeah, he left me for breast and ass. That makes me feel better." You rolled your eyes.

Shaking, Jimin slowly wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Peering up, you saw his sweet smile. His hand giving you a light squeeze, "you're more than all of that."

As your friend, he did his best to make you feel better. It worked, for a small moment, before your self esteem dropped again. You were appreciative of him for making an effort in being a great friend. There was no one else you could lean on. You smiled, halfheartedly.

Class was soon over as everyone began to pack and shuffle their things. "Let's go, babe!" Linking arms with Jimin, you pushed him towards the door. His heart leaped at the sound of the pet name.

You saw a glimpse of your ex’s annoyed face before the door shut. Dropping Jimin’s arm, you allowed for him to walk freely now that you two were away from the enemy’s stare. He, however, picked up your arm again and linked it back with his. “Jimin, you don’t have to---”

“---we’re going to be late for our next class. You’re always strolling and getting lost, let me walk you there.” His fingers crawled down your wrist to intertwine them with yours.

Your bottom lip escaped underneath your top row of pearly whites and a soft pink danced across your cheeks. You were afraid of being alone, wandering the halls on your own. Your ex-boyfriend always escorted you to your classes, to the point where you didn’t really know how to get there yourself. “Lead the way, Park Jimin.” 

The stress was minimal for Jimin. You never pushed him past his comfort zone or made him do anything he didn’t want to. The deal was almost over, the week ending soon. 

The experience left Jimin with a bittersweet feeling. It was a sneak peak to a future with you, but at the same time he knew you felt nothing. In no way would you look at him the same way he looked at you. Jimin was hopelessly in love with a girl who was hung up on her ex-boyfriend. 

He lost sleep during the week, up all night replaying every small moment. He over analyzed every situation, racking his brain and shaking his heart. He searched for any sign that he meant more than a friend. Nevertheless, you were a great actress.

“Thank you for helping me with this strange favor.” You and Jimin held hands, basking in the high afternoon sun. “Not only has he become a jealous brat, but I think I’ve started to get over him. That’s all because of you.”

“That’s good. I’m happy I could be there to help. I’m always here, (Y/N), you know that.” Jimin clenched his words.

Tilting your head, you pouted. “What are we going to do after this? You do realize we have to make our break up believable.” 

“I’ll sleep with twice as many girls as before to fill my emptiness of you.” Jimin smirked to mask his sulking heart.

“Oh! I’ll immerse myself in school work because I’m so torn up by two consecutive break ups.” You clapped excitedly, thinking your follow up plan was fool proof. 

Jimin seemed uneasy, but nodded along. Just as you were about to ask if he was okay, your ex-boyfriend strutted angrily toward you two. “You two are faking it this entire time. I knew it! I saw through your act. You almost got me, (Y/N). You almost had me believing that you two were dating.” 

Hiding behind Jimin, you tried to debunk his accusations. “I-I-We’re together. Why can’t you accept that? I was able to allow you to be happy with your new girl, but you didn’t let us live every since you found out.” Your voice was loud, but your body shielded away.

There was no way he could’ve knew. The only people that was aware of the plan was you and Jimin. Maybe your act wasn’t good enough.

“Quit it, dude. I’ve had it up to here with you. You’ve hurt her far too much. Leave us alone.” Jimin shoved his shoulder aggressively, you winced at the sight.

He wasn’t bugging though, “it’s more surprising knowing you agreed to her tricks. Have you lost your senses, Jimin?” 

“What do you need for us to show you were actually dating?” You asked.

Your ex gleamed with a devilish grin, “kiss. From what I see is that you two only hold hands and hug. I want to see you two kiss, on the lips.”

You rolled your eyes, secretly scared. “That’s so middle school behavior. We’re taking it slow. We don’t want to ruin our first kiss together just because you’re forcing us to.” 

Jimin blinked nervously at you, he remained tense at the mention of a kiss. “Then I don’t believe you. You’ll break up after today and think that you’ve made me jealous. To only realized that you’ve failed and I’m laughing at how hard you tried.”

“Fine. We’ll show you.” You tugged at Jimin to face you, breaking his frozen trance. “Kiss me, Jimin.” You said through gritted teeth, your eyes pleading him to do so.

Jimin gulped, and looked back between your eyes and your lips. “Just do it.” You tried edging him, but he wouldn’t budge.

“I’m waiting.” Your ex-boyfriend taunted, picking arrogantly at his nails.

“I can’t.” Jimin blurted and a laugh from the asshole followed. Dropping Jimin’s hand, you stared at the floor in disbelief.

“Nice job, (Y/N). Even your pretend boyfriend doesn’t want to kiss you. I’ll be going now, you lovebirds.” His laugh continued to rattle your rib cage. Jimin reopened the freshly patched wound in your heart, dumping salt into the flesh.

Jimin couldn’t kiss you, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was scared to. His feelings would’ve acted before him and he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he kissed you. He’d never want to let you go, only more. 

He’d fall greedy into keeping you, even if you didn’t feel the same. But the deal was meant for a week, not for eternity. Jimin needed you to be free and things to go back to how it use to be, where you were his friend and he loved you from afar.

Even if the small kiss meant nothing to you, it meant the world to him. He has imagined multiple scenarios when you two shared such an intimate connection, all the times made him itch. Jimin didn’t feel sufficient enough to kiss you. He wasn’t the best kisser and you deserved the best. He had flaws that he couldn’t overcome to be with you.

It all piled up over the years, turning into mountains that he could no longer leap over. His insecurities left him drowning, and prevented him from pursuing you. There was a reason why you didn’t like him back, even though you’ve never explicitly said it. There was something that stopped you from liking him.

He thought it was your boyfriend, that you were so in love with someone else that you couldn’t see anyone else besides him. That meant blaming you when he saw every flaw in the mirror. It was him. Jimin, too, was not the best you needed. He loved you so much that you became untouchable. He valued you so much that you became unimaginable. He just couldn’t let him spiral out of control, locked in a frenzy over actions that shouldn’t matter.

That was his second mistake. Jimin, unconsciously, thought of himself before your feelings. Your figure was slowly disappearing into the horizon as it hurried away from him. His feet were planted on the ground, not allowing him to move.

He was calling your name, but no sound came out. Other students passed by with concerned and shocked faces. Jimin panicked, knowing he had hurt his one true love, the person who means everything to him.

It took a push to get him going, a careless boy who wasn’t looking at the path in front of him. Jimin lunged forward, in hopes to catch up with your already gone silhouette. 

You’ve once mentioned that your dorm was your favorite hiding spot. It was the realm of your tears and comfort. It separated the outside world and any dangers that it held. Your dorm was a confined space of your heart --- you didn’t hold back any feelings in there. He knew he’d find you there.

He was running at the speed of light. Jimin was in track during high school and had killer speed in the sprint division. There was nothing stopping him once he’s in motion. He jogged up your stairs and pounded heavily on the door.

“(Y/N).. please open up.” He panted, gasping for air now that his heart was fluctuating beats. Jimin leaned over the door, his fist knocking periodically.

He heard your sniffs and cursed at himself for being the reason behind them. Jimin had no intentions of hurting you. He predicted that he would be the one hurt in the end of everything. “I want to explain. Give me five minutes, you’ll understand why I couldn’t kiss you---”

Jimin jotted forward as door flung open. He caught himself before he toppled over your shaking body. Wet cheeks and a pout painted your sad face. Your eyebrows were knitted at the center, “you couldn’t or you didn’t want to?” 

He almost began crying right there. You only had to look at him to strip him of his layers. Your eyes ripped through his skin and exposed his rapidly pulsating heart that refused to calm down at the sight of you. “I couldn’t.” 

“Jimin, save it. I don’t want to hear your lame excuse about how you couldn’t kiss me. You didn’t want to, I get it. You resent me for pushing you past your comfort zone, but you didn’t have to embarrass me like that. We had a deal and I wished you upheld it like you promised.” More tears slipped down your face. It resembled an earlier memory of when you first asked him of the favor, how you showed up a crying mess over your breakup at Jimin’s door. Now you were crying over Jimin. 

His small fingers gripped the ends of his hoodie, his knuckles turning white. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I wasn’t thinking about how it would affect you---”

“---yeah because no one ever thinks about how I feel. No one cares about my feelings, since when did I matter? Right? Well you and everyone else are wrong. Whatever pain you feel, I feel twice as harder because I’m the girl who struggled with loving herself for the past years just to be brought back to square one. The guy who helped me through my insecurities left me and for the reason I feared the most --- I wasn’t good enough. I am not wanted, nor am I loved and it is all because of me. He left me for her because I wasn’t enough and she was better.” 

“I love you, (Y/N)! I love you so much, don’t you ever say that you’re not. Because I am that one person who loves you more than you could imagine.” Jimin shouted, his vision blurred by puddles that dare to fall.

Stunned, you tried to dismiss what he meant. It wasn’t romantic, Jimin was your friend. He always said things like this to console you. “I’m not talking about friendship love, Jimin.” 

“I’m not either. How --- I don’t know --- how do I explain it, (Y/N)? Do you know the story about the moon and the sun?” Jimin was having a hard time expressing his feelings. He wasn’t good with his words when it came to you, which was a huge contributor to why he never confessed. Every contour of your expression caused his tongue to knot up and his words to slur.

You shook your head, your face remaining blank. He sighed heavily, gulping harshly. He began with a soft voice, “the sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her breathe. I’m the sun and you’re my moon. I held back for so long, still am, for you. You deserve to breathe and I could only hope that you’re shining well in the night sky. We’d never cross paths to where I could take care of you, but I could still watch over your happiness and that was enough for me.”

“Jimin, I never knew---” You started to defend yourself now that you understood the situation. You hated yourself, mainly for ever asking him of the favor. 

“You weren’t suppose to. I never decided to tell you because the news would be burdening and my sick, fragile heart wouldn’t be able to take the rejection. I restricted myself to limits, so my feelings wouldn’t grow. I slept with other people to try to get over you. Nothing worked in the end. I’ve loved you ever since sophomore year and my heart grew so attached to your meaningless efforts.” He left you completely speechless. All this time you’ve been hurting him. 

“You’re more than enough to me, (Y/N). I even compared you to the fucking moon, a precious rock in space that manages to light up my entire dark night. I couldn’t kiss you because I couldn’t let myself become greedy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to let you go after the deal if we did. It’s like my emotions will grow arms and latch on to something I don’t deserve. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t do that to you. I love you too much to corrupt you.” 

“To be in love with someone is a lot, Jimin.” Your chest was accompanied with a burning sensation, but your mind wasn’t soaking in his confession.

“Trust me, I know.” He groaned. You two stood facing each other, still at the cross walk between two realms. The hallway was empty, but was filled with a light buzzing noise from the fluorescent lights above. 

After it all, Jimin’s heart remained heavy and now, so was your’s. 

[dong-hyucks]

Hi there cutie! I binged all your NCT scenarios yesterday 💜 and they were amazing! Here's my request. Character: NCT's Winwin 1. Enemy to Lover (I haven't seen any scenario where Winwin hates anyone, so you'll be the first!) 2. My prompt is a bit detailed, but hear me out: First Winwin hates y/n, but then prompt 7 and 39 happen. Then prompt 83. And the conclusion is a happy ending as lovers with 37, 38, and 50. Thank you, and congrats for 1K ohmygoodness gurl you're sLAYin

Dong Sicheng (Winwin) ; “I dreamt about you last night.” , “Don’t cry.” , “Stay there, I’m coming to get you.” , “Can I kiss you?” , “I think you’re beautiful.” + Enemies↣Lovers!AU / College!AU    ↳ College!AU not requested

Prompts here.Masterlists

hey back cutie thanks for all your support ily

i had to omit one of the numbers (38 specifically) because i had a limit on number requests (which was five) so i hope you don’t mind :)

but thanks for making my job easier by being so detailed lmao

also can i just say listening to day6 helped me write this their lyrics are so salty lwfhakah

alrighty

so sicheng over here doesn’t hate hate you, he just dislikes your presence

he’s a transfer student from china

so are you, from [country other than s. korea lol]

needless to say, you didn’t have very good first impressions of each other

sicheng had bought a new shirt n trousers for the first day because he wanted to look presentable

he was like the first student in the lecture room

you came in like two minutes late, looking tired af, armed with your supplies and a slightly cold cup of coffee

the lecture room wasn’t that big and there were a lot of students

and the only available seat was beside sicheng or beside the seemingly hungover dude in the corner

you chose sicheng

you had to waddle in between the chairs and the moment you were a mere metre away from sitting down

you tripped over a girl’s bag that she had left on the ground

your books fell atop your chair and on the ground

and your coffee?

it went flying from your hands

and onto an unsuspecting sicheng

you gasped so loudly, and kind of just stood there covering your mouth in shock

sicheng was wide-eyed, obviously in shock

once the initial surprise blew over, he realized how many people were staring, including the professor who had walked in just as the coffee spilled

his cheeks burned in embarrassment as he glared over at you

before you could even blurt out an apology, sicheng excused himself and practically sprinted out the door

the professor just told you to wipe the spill and copy notes for both yourself and sicheng

you agreed because you felt absolutely horrible

he looked traumatized

you ventured to the non-gender specific washrooms to grab a bunch of paper towel

and you found him hunching over one of the sinks, dabbing at his body with an already soaked clump of what you had gone to get

feeling incredibly bad, you got more paper towel and tried to hand it to him

sicheng didn’t even look up, smacking your hand away, in turn making the bundle of paper towels to flutter to the floor

you were kind of like ‘well that was unnecessary’ 

but you didn’t say it out loud, opting to just frown as you cradled your slightly red hand

“i’m sorry for–”

“go away.”

you were shocked again by how deep and off-putting his voice was

he sounded so pissed off with you

however, you were determined to apologize properly, otherwise you’d feel terrible for the rest of the semester

“look, i just want to apologize–”

finally looking up, sicheng narrowed his watering eyes at you in a harsh glare

“i told you already, go away.”

your frown deepened

you couldn’t help but feel slightly ticked off by his behaviour

yes, you did spill coffee on him, but hey! you tried to apologize and help him out by giving him more towels but he completely blew you off

but, you knew that if you were in his shoes, you’d probably be acting the same

you definitely wouldn’t be smiling if it had been you, that’s for sure

you couldn’t even say anything before he began to hunch over the sink even more

you noticed his shoulders shaking slightly, his fingers grasping the edge of the sink tightly

“are you stupid? i told you– go away!”

he sounded much more pressing than he had the first two times

you scoffed at the fact that he had called you stupid, but decided to just leave him be

if he wanted to drench in cold coffee by himself, then so be it

after picking up the paper towels that he had smacked out of your hand and grabbing a bit more, you returned to the lecture room with furrowed brows

sicheng didn’t return to class that day

grumbling, you stayed behind in the school’s library to copy down another pair of notes for sicheng when you would’ve been at home watching tv

you didn’t even know his name

unfortunately for you, the schools only two photocopiers had been malfunctioning since the summer break was coming to an end, and they still hadn’t had a repairman come by to fix it

in other words, you had to copy the four pages worth of notes by hand

it took you roughly half an hour to copy down everything

you made sure the notes were legible, not wanting to piss sicheng off even more because you were going to be honest with yourself; sicheng being mad at you made you mad somehow

you thought it was odd but something about sicheng just irked you

what, you had no clue

anyway, you learned his name the next day when the professor asked him to stay after class

you guys still had to sit together because the other seats were filled

you spent the entire two weeks plain out ignoring each other, and when you did interact there was usually some sour looks involved

everyone thought you were crazy for disliking sicheng

according to literally everyone else on campus, he was a total sweetheart

you: “if only you knew hmph”

although, you did have to come to terms with it after witnessing sicheng being kind to others yourself

“dammit”

then, once that fortnight had passed

you could’ve sworn your professor hated you

he told the class that he was going to have you be in partners to do some major research

and lo and behold

you were partnered up with sicheng

typical cliches amirite

you didn’t have a choice

working with your partner efficiently helped with your mark (ba dum tss)

and you weren’t up to having marks docked purely because you disliked your partner

neither was sicheng

you guys begrudgingly exchanged numbers, avoiding eye contact the entire time

you didn’t even talk face to face you just agreed to meet in the school’s library after his afternoon classes

so after meeting up with your friends n having drinks you had to leave to meet with sicheng

you were dreading it

you had previously convinced yourself that you could just simply ignore him

but as you got closer and closer to the library you realized you couldn’t

anywho, he arrived soon after and the two of you went to a table nearing the far wall

after setting up you kind of just worked in silence

occasionally, he’d ask you a few questions and vice versa

as time passed (luckily the library was accessible 24/7) you were getting more and more tired

however, your pride didn’t allow you to tell sicheng that

so you kept going, holding back yawns

until you literally just fell asleep at your laptop

sicheng didn’t even notice until he realized the clicks of your keyboard had ceased

he frowned at the sight of you before he realized it was past midnight

he just turned your laptop to him and pressed save

sighing, he just kept working

less than ten minutes later his eyes were trailing back to you

he grumbled to himself, realizing you were shivering

mumbling under his breath, he took out his jacket from his bag and hung it over your shoulders

eventually, sicheng got tired as well

realizing it was now almost two in the morning, he decided to just save everything for now and continue the next time you guys were to meet

after packing his things (and yours) he shook you awake

by the time you actually woke up, all you saw was sicheng’s back as he walked off

you realized your things were packed up and blinked in confusion

‘did he really just pack my things for me?’

you went home, the nap making you feel even more tired than before

the next day, you woke up with a start

“nonononoNoNo–”

your roommate, Eunjae, looked at you with a raised brow

“what’s up with you?”

you didn’t answer, choosing to just scream into your pillow, your face red

in your haste, you didn’t even check if your phone was in your bag like you usually did

you went to your morning class early

you nearly cursed the world for making sicheng be your classmate in almost every class you had

luckily, in your next class – mathematics – you sat near the front while he sat in the very back

so you didn’t have to deal with him

that is

until class was over

as you swung your bag over your shoulder and made your way to the exit, sicheng stopped you

memories of what you had dreamed about came flooding back to you

your face went hot and you quickly scrambled away

sicheng was confused

yes he knew you disliked him but you had never reacted like that before

usually you like to have the final word before leaving but that time you didn’t even say anything

he legitimately had to tell you something and he couldn’t exactly text you about it

so he chased after you

“wait!! [Y/N]!”

hearing him yell after you made you sprint faster

buuttttt sicheng is magic ok so he caught up to you

he stopped in front of you, slightly panting

before you could say anything, he took hold of your wrist

while you struggled to escape he went through his jacket pocket before taking out a phone

your phone

“you left this at the library yesterday. i found it when i went back for my mouse.”

you kind of just stared at him

you realized that you were staring for too long when he began to look uncomfortable

looking down at your phone, you took hold of it with your free hand

“thanks,,, i guess”

im literally having an allergic reaction while writing this lol

you took one more glance at his confused look before darting off leaving him confused af

‘why were they acting like that???’ - him for the next few hours

then, he found you again later that night

you were hanging out with your friends in the courtyard

he walked up to you, with intentions of talking about the research

but once you spotted him, you looked ready to jump out of your seat and run a marathon if it meant getting away from him

“wait!!”

and so, you did

why– you had no clue

“why have you been so jumpy around me today?”

“,,,”

“you can tell me”

“imayormaynotehavedreamtaboutyou”

“what??”

you sighed, just going to face your problems

“i,,, dreamt about you last night.”

after that, you guys kind of stopped hating each other

now you could tolerate the other

you talked a bit more while doing research, but not by much

on the day you guys finished doing the research

sicheng proposed that you do the last bit at a starbucks or smth so you could treat yourselves when you finished

ofc you agreed because honestly coffee after work?? during work??? heavenly.

ironically i don’t like coffee

anywho

it was sunny that day

and you guys chose a spot by the window

you were undeterred by the sun, despite the annoying glare it made on your laptop screen

you just kept working, taking the occasional sip of your drink (that sicheng ordered for you)

sicheng was working away at his part of the project too

but as time went on, his hands and eyes were getting tired so he leaned back to take a break

just then, you got a notification from your friend

they had sent you a picture of [whatever your favourite animal is my fav is otters :)]

so you started smiling the moment sicheng looked up at you

he nearly choked right then n there

the way your hair caught the light? he was s h o c k e d

the cute way you tilted your head when you smiled? he was s h o c k e d

okay case in point, he was shocked

he found himself listening to his racing heartbeat rather than the buzz and chatter of the busy shop

his heart had never raced that fast because of you, so why was it now?

he had seen you smile in the past, and he would admit that he thought you were cute but before he wasn’t this affected

“um– i have to use the washroom, excuse me”

you just nodded, still smiling because of the photo

you didn’t notice the way his voice wavered or the way he practically ran to the washroom, too engrossed in either your work or the photo

when sicheng got to the washroom he just locked the door and stared at himself in the mirror with wide eyes

he was still in shock

‘do i like them?’

‘no, it can’t be…’

‘but…’

he’d let out a really quite n frustrated groan, messing up his hair as he rubbed his face in exhaustion

in that moment, in the silence of the washroom, he noticed just how stressed he was

he was on the brink of failing half of his classes due to pure exhaustion and the other two he was barely passing

and now he had to figure out whatever it was he was feeling?? toward someone he could barely stand to sit beside a mere fortnight beforehand?

as he stared down at the eggshell white sink, something fell

he blinked in confusion

looking up, he was surprised to see a single tear falling from his right eye, following the one that had just fell

he was surprised

the last time he cried was when he first got really homesick, but he could see reason for that

was he crying because of stress??

was he crying because he was confused???

he didn’t even bother to wipe his face, he just let his tears slowly cascade down his cheeks

after a while, he finally dabbed at his face with some paper towel and walked out

you made eye contact with him immediately, your straight face becoming concerned

sicheng kept his eyes glued to the tiled flooring, so he didn’t notice the change

when he sat back down without a word and just began typing you frowned

he looked

well

dead to be honest

you felt as if he wasn’t up for talking right now so you took your phone and sent him a small text

“don’t cry :) it might not be that comforting, but i’m here if you ever want to talk.”

you quickly placed the phone down and went back to work, your eyes flitting over your laptop screen to see his reaction

when his phone vibrated, the noise making a loud buzz against the wood of his chair, you curled up slightly

as he took out his phone, your eyes kept moving from your screen to him

finally, he looked up at you with a confused expression

without saying anything, you just pointed toward your eyes with a sheepish smile

his were slightly red and puffy

it wasn’t too noticeable, but if you were looking at him for longer than five seconds you’d notice

you had sported the same look while watching a drama the other day

instead of replying, sicheng sent you a weak smile before going back to typing

you sighed, doing the same

your drink went cold.

after the research was finished, you and sicheng didn’t really have a reason to talk to each other anymore

you were kind of sad, surprisingly

when the project first started you had been so excited for the day of its completion

but now that it’s come, you were just disappointed

to your own surprise, hanging out with sicheng wasn’t unbearable, not at all

you had found yourself waiting for time to go faster so you could hurry up and meet with him already

sicheng was a pretty nice guy

if you had told yourself that a month ago, you would’ve scoffed

you found yourself searching for him whenever you’d walk into a classroom or into the library

you didn’t even realize you were doing it until your friend pointed it out

at that point, it hit you

you, at some point in time, had grown to like dong sicheng

you, in all honesty, weren’t that surprised

you had suspected that you had feelings when you started feeling hot whenever he’d be near you (so, every other day basically)

and your heart would pound whenever he’d smile in your direction

whenever it’d happen you just shot it down because – no, you can’t possibly like dong sicheng – but lo and behold it’s possible

really, you just accepted it

you couldn’t just stop yourself from liking him, even if you tried

and by accepting it, you accept the thought that he could never like you

in your opinion, he was out of your league

so you just kind of

left your little crush alone

you didn’t make any moves

you didn’t talk to him more

you just continued on with life

unknowingly, you found yourself glancing over in his direction more and more often

you’d start checking if he was looking over at you, even if it was just a mere glance

and more often than not, he would be looking

however, the clock was usually on the other side of you, so maybe he was just watching for the time

before you knew it, your little crush and blown up into something more

by the time you realized how deep you were, you had no idea what to do

by ignoring it, you thought your crush would just go away, but now that it hadn’t you were confused

you found yourself longing for his presence

and missing the way he’d laugh at your little quips whenever you worked together

you talked it over with your friend and what they told you astonished you, despite how obvious it was

“[Y/N],,, you’re in love with sicheng, aren’t you?”

“,,, shit”

once it had truly dawned on you– your true feelings for the male, you started to freak out whenever he’d draw close

it got to the point where you started avoiding him in hallways because you got too flustered at the mere sight of him

me too, [Y/N], me too

this went on for a while

when sicheng noticed you literally spinning on your heel and speed walking the other way he’d be hurt

he thought you hated him

so he asked your friend, the one he sees you with a lot

“this might sound weird but,,,, does [Y/N] hate me again?”

“,,,”

when your friend started laughing, he felt so embarrassed

he thought he had said something wrong or something weird

maybe it was wrong and weird, he didn’t know

once your friend calmed down, they just whispered something before making their way down the hall

after that, sicheng made a valiant effort to approach you

and you notice right away

he’d frown whenever you started sprinting away, but with the new information he had acquired via your friend, he wasn’t as worried anymore

but he was kind of frustrated because he wanted to tell you everything so badly

he couldn’t exactly do that when you were straight up running from him

you weren’t answering texts either

and then that back and forth went on

it was only a month before the senior student’s graduation did something happen

so your friends had invited you to a party

you usually just turned them down, but you felt so stressed over school and work that you just threw caution out the window and agreed

you carpooled to the party

it was the typical type of house party you’d expect

dimmed lights, colourful lights strung from the ceiling, alcoholic drinks and party cups were neatly lined on a table that had been pushed against the wall

there was loud music too, almost deafening

you just stuck to the wall as everyone bounced happily around you, feeling out of your element

suddenly, a drunken man – someone you had recognized as one of the many faces at your school – stumbled through the crowd of bodies, sending you a sleazy smile and what had appeared to be an attempt at a wink

“hey there,” he slurred, stepping so close you could smell the beer in his breath “what’re you doing alone?”

you just kept using your phone

‘hopefully he just goes away’

he didn’t

when you didn’t respond, he roughly gripped a hand around your wrist, pulling you to his torso

“i asked you a question,” he grumbled

wrenching yourself out of his grasp, you pushed him away with knitted brows; “get off me, you drunkard”

bad idea apparently

the man narrowed his eyes at you, moving to reach for you again

you stepped out of his reach

your little taunting vexed him, making him completely lunge at you despite his drunken state

you quickly rushed up the stairs, knowing he’d catch up if you attempted to weave through the crowd to the door

opening a random door, you jumped inside and slammed it shut

you locked it, hearing the pounding knocks that could be from no one but him shortly after

after around ten minutes, the knocking ceased and you heard heavy footsteps going down the stairs

letting out a sigh of relief, you reached for the door knob

you had sighed too early, it seemed

the door was jammed

you frowned, pushing your body weight against the door

it still wouldn’t open

you started to freak out

being stuck in some stranger’s bathroom on a friday night wasn’t exactly ideal

taking out your phone, you quickly dialed your friends number

they didn’t answer

you tried again

still no answer

by this time, you felt scared

you didn’t like how cramped the bathroom felt

even if you aren’t afraid of small spaces, it felt as though the walls were closing in

slowly but surely

you wanted to cry from frustration honestly

when none of your friends bothered, probably too enamoured with the music and/or their dance partners, your frown deepened

realizing it was your only choice then, you dialed the final number in your contacts

soon, a tired little “hello?” came warbling through the receiver

“sicheng? sorry to be calling so late, but i kind of need help”

you explained to him the entire thing, from start to finish

you had begun to shake, eyeing the walls suspiciously

“hey,” he mumbled, his voice soft. “stay there, alright? i’m coming to get you.”

you just nodded, eyeing the jammed door, holding your phone so tightly your knuckles were losing colour

“not like i have a choice, but okay

he chuckled for a moment

“just breath– will you do that for me?”

at his words, you took in a deep breath

you couldn’t even finish your final sentence before he was messaging you back saying he’d be there in ten

sooner than you had expected, the door opened

behind that door, was sicheng

he too looked uncomfortable with the setting, and it wasn’t long before the two of you were rushing out

“i can drive you home,” he suggested

you couldn’t even refuse before he opened the passenger door for you

you sighed, stepping into the ceiling after saying thank you

he got into the other side and started the car

the ride was silent, aside from you telling him where to go

by the time you had reached your house, you were surprised

only five minutes had passed

when you turned to thank sicheng again, he was already looking at you

he looked flustered, something that was apparent under the bright light of the street lamp mere metres away from sicheng’s car

“is something wrong?”

he was silent for a moment, biting his lip in uncertainty

then, he spoke

and when he did, your heart raced once again

“can i,,, kiss you?”

you gasped

sicheng looked embarrassed at the fact that he asked– ashamed even

before he could even apologize

you had leaned over the centre console and cupped his face with your hands before pressing your lips against his in a gentle kiss

sicheng’s eyes were blown wide with surprise, before they finally closed and he relaxed

the kiss was slow and sweet and you pulled away slowly just seconds later, your eyes still closed

sicheng was the first to open his eyes, and when he did he smiled widely

“you know,,,, i think you’re beautiful.”

[stripestheboar]

Day 1 - OT3 (Undertale)

It’s here… it’s finally here. PREPARE.

In case you do not know, I will be participating in Undertale Shipping Pride Month. All thirty days, to be exact.

All. Thirty. Days.

Yes, this is why I’ve been inactive for a bit; I’ve been wanting to work on this. So tune in every day for a knew ship story. They will be in different AUs, with different pairings, some platonic and some not. So, everyone…. enjoy.

Pairing: Sansgoriel

Word Count: 2,069

The setting was dim, the only light provided being the toned down lights above and the several candles placed strategically around the table. The warm, comforting air of the room was in such a stark contrast to the dark and cold of the outside world. Gentle laughs could be heard, shared over the dinner table as the two guests enjoyed each other’s company for the first time in years. Their food was only half touched, for they found more interest in words shared than their well-cooked food.

Toriel, dressed in robes much more regal and elegant than she had in decades, couldn’t help but enjoy the comfort and loving aura her former husband had brought to the table. She couldn’t believe it herself, but she was enjoying being with her ex lover again. She was ashamed to admit it, but was also having too much of a good time to even express such an emotion. As for Asgore, he was also dressed in a rather formal outfit as well. He no longer wore his armor, for it seemed pointless now on the surface, where they could be happy in peace. As for his wellbeing, he was all smiles. He was glad to be in the company of the woman he loved once again, who no longer wanted nothing to do with him.

“I must say, Asgore,” Toriel praised, “I am having such a wonderful time with you. Your cooking has definitely improved over the decades, and your house is just lovely. And here I thought you couldn’t maintain it without me.” Asgore couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Why thank you, Toriel,” he rumbled. “It’s all worth the effort to see you happy once again. Toriel only blushed from under her fur, turning away a bit. Flattery usually didn’t work on her, but she was in such a good mood that she couldn’t help but be swayed by his genuine words.

“But… there is something else I’ve wanted to talk to you about,” Asgore sighed, immediately catching the other boss monster’s attention. “Yes?” she asked softly, tilting her head. She feared she already knew what it was. “I just… want you to know that I still love you,” he began. That was a given. Toriel opened her mouth to speak, but Asgore had more to say. “And I know I may not be… quite honorable in your memories, but I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, we could give it another shot. Just this one time. I want to reconcile out relationship.”

The other monster was silent, a contemplative look donning her face, as if pondering how to answer. “Asgore, I-” “I understand if you refuse,” Asgore said defeatedly as he lowered his head. “I… I will not bother you again with this if you do. After all I have done, you don’t even need to speak to me again…”

“I want to,” Toriel sighed. The male shot his head up with a slight turn of surprise, one of his bowed horns hooking one of the wine glasses and flinging it across the room by accident. “You do?” He had to be honest, he didn’t even think he would get this far, much less have Toriel actually contemplate getting back together with him. She gave a nod. “Yes, I do, but… there’s someone else.”

Agore’s eyes widened. “Someone else?” He whispered. “But who?” Who could possibly win over the heart of his fair queen?

Toriel looked down sadly, before going into her menu. She entered her inventory, pulling out something from slot six, just below the one empty pie tin and the four empty bottles of ketchup filling up the earlier slots. She held up a small skeleton in a blue jacket.

“It’s Sans.”

“Heya, Asgoat.”

Asgore blinked, speechless. He stared at Sans for a long while before slowly looking up at Toriel. “You… brought him with you on our date?”

“He was going to be awfully lonely at home by herself,” she sighed. “I just had to bring him.”

“Heh, yeah, kiddo. Don’t be so selfish.” A small giggle came from Toriel. “That was a good one, Sans.”

Asgore’s jaw was practically on the floor. He just… didn’t know what to say. What could he say to something like this. “Wait, so… he’s the one you’re seeing?” he asked, just flabbergasted by the situation. “Well… no,” Toriel sighed. “I’m not actually seeing either of you, but… you bot are so very amazing to me.” She slowly set Sans down, who walked over to Asgore with a grin. It was like watching a small beachball roll over to a large boulder. “Nice to see you, kingy.”  

Asgore blinked down at Sans before looking up at Toriel. “You… you can’t be serious,” he said. “With him?” Toriel just crossed her arms. “Well what’s wrong with him?” Sans scoffed slightly. “Yeah, what’s wrong with me?” Asgore slumped in his seat, letting out a sigh. “Well, for one, he’s not royalty or a boss monster,” Asgore pointed out. Toriel just gave a shrug. “And I’m not royalty, either,” she huffed. “I relinquished my crown long ago, Asgore.” Well, that was true. “But he’s also about half your size,” he pointed out. “Not even that. Maybe a good third of you.”

Okay, he had her there. Sans had a big heart and a loving personality, but… he wasn’t all that impressive when it came to bed. They worked through it, but it was kind of hard when he could easily die just by getting some game in bed. At least it was nice to carry him around from time to time under her arm like an object. It got her some really confused looks.

“Size does not matter, Asgore,” she said firmly. Both men looked a bit doubtful, but Sans was at least giving her that thankful look.

“Well what can he give you that I can’t?” the king demanded firmly, but also still having that bewildered expression. “He makes me happy,” the former queen stated confidently, crossing her arms. “He was there for me when I most needed someone. He makes me laugh and feel appreciated for once.” Asgore’s mouth was agape. “I appreciated you, too! I always have! I appreciated you more than anyone! You were my wife; my beloved!”

“Then why didn’t you do it while I was at the Ruins, if you were so persistent on appreciating me?” Toriel demanded. “Because you just weren’t there. Sans was, and I love him because of that.” “Want to know why I wasn’t there? Well, for one fucking ran away,” Asgore pointed out. “And there’s also the fact that you never answer your god. Damn. Phone!”

“I told you a dog had stolen it!”

“Oh my GOD, Toriel, you’ve given that excuse at least fifty times already!”

“And they’re all true!”

Asgore just looked unbelieving of the situation. So, he toned his voice down. “Tori…” he said softly. “We’ve been together for half a century. We built a kingdom from the Underground up, and I have never stopped loving you since. Tori… I love you. I always have.”

Toriel could feel her soul melt some at this. It was true, Asgore had always been kind to her, and even when he decided to kill all humans that came down, he still cared for her feelings and loved her. She was the one who had left in the first place. It wasn’t completely fair to blame him for their splitting up. Divorce was a two way street after all.

That’s when Toriel felt something pulling at her arms. She blinked and looked down, seeing Sans with his phalanges wrapped tightly around her sleeve. “Hey, Tori,” he murmured to her, a caring tone still very evident in his low voice. “Look… I’ll understand if you still want to go back to him,” he told her. “You two have been together n’ whatnot for a while, even before you split. I just…. kinda thought we had something y’know?” He looked away for a moment. “I mean, why would you wanna date a weak skeleton like me anyways, amirite?” Toriel frowned at this, gripping his much smaller hand. “No no, don’t say that,” she comforted the discouraged skeleton. “You and I have had many a happy moments together, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.” She thought back to the time they first met and the laughs he gave her. It made her smile.

“Toriel, you cannot split yourself between us,” Asgore said softly, taking a step towards the pair. “And… if you’re happier with him, I’m afraid I will just have to accept that.” He gave a sigh. “However, I still demand an answer.” Sans gave a nod of agreement, squeezing Toriel’s hand gently. “He’s right. You have to choose one of us, Tori. Who’ll it be?”

The former queen of the Underground and of all monsters now had to make one of the biggest decisions of her life. She loved both monsters just as equally, and the two were always so kind to her and it was clear they loved her back. She had spent a good chunk of her life with Asgore, and yet it was Sans who was there when she needed someone the most. Sans was kind and made her laugh and feel loved, but Asgore knew her better than anyone else and shared her sentiments and even some of her feelings and pains, as they had both been through some of the most painful struggles. Asgore knew how to make her feel loved and adored and wanted, but Sans was cute and easy to pick up and carry around and care for and stick in her inventory like her own portable boyfriend. Sans for one made all her worries and responsibilities and her expectations and fears just melt down the drain for the first time in decades, but Asgore was pulling that serious dick game, though. Both were equally as amazing, and both made her feel just as loved. But… who to choose?

Sans and Asgore glanced over at each other nervously. Toriel was sure taking her sweet time with this. While both men would survive without her, they still sort of hoped Toriel would come to a sensible decision. They didn’t hate each other or hold any grudges, but they still loved Toriel, and so it was a good reason as any to bump heads. Still, no anger would be shown, no matter who was chosen. They just wanted to be friends.

Finally, Toriel made her decision.

“I…. I’ve decided,” she sighed. “I love you both very much, and because of this, I’ve come to a conclusion.” Both monsters braced themselves for the impact.  

“I’ll date both of you.”

Sans and Asgore blinked in surprise.

“What?” Asgore choked.

“What?” Sans babbled.

“What?” Toriel questioned.

Fuck, impact too strong. No one was fucking ready.

“What…. what do you mean the both of us?” Asgore probed, brow furrowed. Sans nodded rapidly in agreement, needing answers. Toriel looked puzzled at their own confusion. “I’m dating the both of you, of course,” she clarified. “I both love you very much, so I’ll date the both of you. It’s a win-win-win situation.”

Sans was absolutely speechless for a moment. “But… Tori, that’s not how it works!”

“Of course it works,” She giggled. “I just said it could.”

“Toriel, you can’t do this!” Asgore argued.

“Of course I can. I’m doing it right now.”

“Tor, this doesn’t even make sense!”

“It makes perfect sense.”

“This is a horrible idea!”

“This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.”

“I’m not even into men!”

“You say that now.”

“Toriel, this is fucking polygamy!” Sans pointed out, following Toriel as she moved to the stairs, but stopping at the first step. Toriel just smirked down at him. “You call it polygamy. I call it a long-term threesome.”

Both men stared, speechless.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be getting out of this dress,” she sighed, going up the stairs. “I will be waiting for your arrival soon, boys.” And with that, she topped the stairs and disappeared from view, leaving the two monsters with jaws dropped. Once they were sure she was gone, Sans slowly turned his skull to look at Asgore.  

“Yo, your wife is into some freaky shit,” he blurted out. Asgore could only nod in agreement. “Try being married to her.”

[fiircbird-archive-blog]

Because we all need a retcon that elaborates on that 7 year gap ;) and makes Phoenora canon amirite ~ <3

It just didn’t feel right. That entire trial, the evidence shared, the knowledge of the prosecution… Lenora turned it over in her mind a thousand times and everything she saw threw up red flags.

She had never personally met Phoenix Wright, but she had run plenty of toxicology and forensics tests for him. She, like the rest of the LAPD, knew of his ridiculous accomplishments and infamous turnabout cases. He had exposed corruption in the legal system plenty of times before, had sent plenty of crooks before –

So why? Why would he of all people use forged evidence in court? It didn’t make sense. It was wrong. To see someone so well-respected crash and burn at the drop of a hat – or in this case, a diary page – just didn’t sit well with her. She had to speak with him herself.

When he emerged from his office, she could tell by the look on his face that he hadn’t slept in days; he had been harassed, she knew. The media had caught wind of the whole debacle and now people were questioning every case he had ever won, every defendant he had ever gotten acquitted. God, was it not enough that he had been disbarred? The look in his eyes assured her he was innocent.

She spoke plainly, but with careful consideration of all that he felt. Introduced herself and informed him of her observations, her opinions He still seemed weary – but he invited her in. They sat and spoke for about an hour. Near the conversation’s end, she mentioned off-hand how she worried for the defendant’s daughter; he seemed to perk up at that.

“Would you happen to know how I could get in contact with her?”

It was a strange request, but she provided the information necessary. She even escorted Trucy Gramarye to his office herself, although she allowed them privacy and waited in the main room while they spoke. Phoenix had offered to find her relatives to stay, but apparently there were none. Lenora was shocked to learn that, upon hearing that, he offered to adopt Trucy as his own. Just what sort of man was he?

She would keep an eye on the two regardless, as well as offer to help in investigating what had really happened. Phoenix took to the streets, she remained in the LAPD, keeping an ear to the ground for suspicious activity. As cases came in and out, there certainly was a harsher demeanor when it came to the court system. Full acquittals became rare; it sounded like the LAPD was simply great at its job, but…no. No, she knew who she worked with: idiots.

Although a bit skeptical at the start, Lenora had become completely committed to seeking out the stray thread that would lead to the unraveling of this conspiracy. If she wasn’t working late nights at the lab, she was looking into suspicious individuals at Phoenix’s request, or even going out on investigations with him herself. Either way, there was plenty of time to get to know each other.

Developing feelings hadn’t been her intent – nor his. They both just wanted to get to the bottom of things and to right the wrongs of the legal system. That was it. That was all.

But things took a turn when the MASON System came into play. It was a terrifyingly brilliant piece of technology that allowed users to access, review, and replay scenes from their memories – something out of a science fiction novel. It wasn’t, though. Sayoko Robbins was the top neurologist/memory specialist in her field, and her husband Richard an impeccable software developer; Lenora had met Dr. Robbins while working at a military base, and it didn’t take much convincing to get her to help with their endeavors.

The minor dilemma, however, was that the first iteration of the system required two people to use it. This meant the source of the memories had to be hooked up to the system, while the other reviewed them and chose what memories to search for and save; and that meant taking a very intimate look at Phoenix’s life.

“Phoenix. Are you really sure you trust me with this?”

“Yeah, I do.” He glanced up at her from the chair. Over the years, he had grown bolder – a development that was necessary for the potentially dangerous work he had done – and changed how he carried himself. But now, in this moment, he was looking at her with the same clear expression he had when he practiced law. Careful, comforting, observant. “I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else, Lenora. Go ahead.”

It also couldn’t be anyone else, as only they knew the information shared between them. But… still, how he had said it made her look away to hide the flush of her cheeks. Murmuring a promise that she would be careful and respectful as possible, she turned the machine on as she had been instructed, and started the search.

It wasn’t easy. She ended up seeing a lot through his eyes, even though she did her best to skip what wasn’t in the correct timeframe. Terrifying, heartbreaking experiences – both in and out of court. She had to step away from the screen a few times. It was more intense than she had anticipated.

But they got the job done eventually. It took a solid two weeks to sort through everything, and to package it up and send it back to the Robbins for further development into the system. Between then and later, Lenora couldn’t help but talk with Phoenix over what she had seen. Some of it was really…well, nobody had a perfect life. But some of it would be stuck with her – the encounters with that redhead, specifically. He had been abused.

“Lenora – sweetheart, I’m fine,” It wasn’t the first time he had called her that, but it was the first time he had done so with such alarm. Probably because she was crying. He pulled her into his arms and pet her hair, murmuring apologies that she had to experience that – but no! No, she protested, why was he sorry? He wasn’t at fault! And she short of talked in circles about it for a bit, clearly distressed, and he nodded along, assuring her he was okay. At some point she kissed him. He kissed back. It sort of went on from there.

It didn’t affect their investigations. If anything, it gave them the strength to power through it even more. Trucy was happy, too, once she realized the reasons for Lenora’s frequent visits. They had developed quite the bond as well. Together, they felt like an unstoppable force.

But they weren’t. Lenora knew that. The more she dug and uncovered, the higher that corruption ladder grew: every rung reached revealed two more, and suddenly the forging of evidence was the least of their problems. This was insane.

Lenora kept it to herself for months, debating on whether or not to share her findings. She needed Phoenix’s help, certainly, but this was the sort of thing people disappeared for. She couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t put him or Trucy at risk.

So she decided to leave.

“Lenora—“

This is the only way, Phoenix. “ She shook her head, steeling her tears still. “if I tell you what I know, you’ll be a target. You have an investigation to complete and a daughter to raise. I…I can’t put a target on your head.”

“So you’ll put one on yours?”

“No. That was accidental.” She smiled weakly. “But now I have to see it through. Otherwise, we’ll never be safe. And…at this point, Phoenix. That’s all I want.” She moved forward, taking his face in her hands. “I love you. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t.” Her forehead pressed to his. “When…when I come back. Let’s get married, okay? When I’m back, it’ll mean we’re safe. And then we can finally start the life together we’ve talked about. Okay?” Despite her best efforts, she started crying. God, she wept so easily when it came to him. “I’ll contact you whenever I can. But… but that doesn’t mean you have to wait. If you find some—“

“Stop.” He curled his arms around her. “Don’t even imply that. There won’t be anyone else, Lenora. Never. It’s you or no one else.” His voice was starting to break, too. “I know you have to do what you have to do. I trust you. Just come back safe.”

“I will. I promise.”

~

Years slipped by, more than she had hoped would. Her communication with Phoenix was as frequent and secure as possible. She never spoke about what she was doing or where she was, or who she was meeting with. The forensics chemist had somehow turned into a private investigator with a specialization in whistleblowing along the way. That was all he had to know. That and how much she loved him and his – their daughter.

For a few weeks, there was no communication. There couldn’t be, even though she knew he was worried. She was wrapping it up – snipping loose ends, cutting ties, fading back into obscurity. She couldn’t leave a trace. It had to be that way, so for nearly two months it was nothing but radio silence.

Then she flew back into California. His office was closed, so she could only imagine he was in court. Once this was confirmed, she slipped into the defense lobby and waited.

To her surprise, Trucy was with him. She wasn’t sure of the details as to why, but she certainly wasn’t opposed to seeing her all grown up. They hadn’t been able to send pictures, after all, and yet she was even more beautiful than she had envisioned. And Phoenix… he was… he was a lawyer again, and the pride he took in that position and how it helped others was evident on his face. His client thanked him enthusiastically before running off to enjoy her freedom – rushing right past her, which finally drew the father-daughter pair to the stranger in the room.

“—Daddy? Who’s that?”

Of course they wouldn’t know. She looked awfully suspicious, all covered up in a trench coat and sunglasses, hair cut significantly shorter than he had last seen. Yet somehow, even before she turned to face them and remove said sunglasses, she could see in Phoenix’s expression that he had an idea.

“Hey, stranger,” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she smiled and took a few steps closer; her trenchcoat, parted to reveal a short, white little cocktail dress beneath. Trucy immediately started to squeal, understanding. “You feel like getting married today?”