#it was hot as balls though lol. like really genuinely i almost died

[fingertipsmp3]

Well I survived my shift

[ourimpavidheroine]

You've given us your favorite records, so how about your favorite movies?

Okay, sure! Under a cut though, because it’s long.

In no particular order!

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Oh my god, one of the funniest movies ever made. Every single thing about this movie makes me laugh out loud - in fact, I laughed so loud in the theater when I saw it the first time I’m surprised they didn’t kick my ass out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched and re-watched it. My late wife and I used to quote this film back and forth to each other all the time. 

“Arms, Clary!”

“That was unexpected.”

“I’ve got my happy face on today!”

There’s a lovely little romance going on and a quote that I live by:

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Thank you, Baz Luhrmann. 

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

Screwball comedy romance with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn. Still funny, over 80 years later. Mistaken identities, a harrassed archeologist and a clueless rich girl, so on and so forth. If you watch it, you will see shades of Wu and Sayuri in Susan, for sure. (And some Zu in David.) The comedic timing of this movie is sheer and utter perfection. Not a single beat wasted. Brilliant, the entire thing.

Moonstruck (1987)

God, what isn’t there to love about this movie? CHER. A woman coming up on middle age who has settled into widowhood without a whimper decides to marry a man she’s fond of for no other reason than she thinks she should meets the fiance’s younger brother and her entire life goes, as her Italian Catholic mother says in the middle of church, “...down the toilet.” This movie was handled with so much love and care, it deserved its Oscars. If you’ve never seen it, you should.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

I saw this movie the one and only time I visited the States after I moved to Finland. I had left my wife here in Finland but had my 20 month old autistic twins along and my mother was being beyond horrible to me and I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. There was one afternoon where my favorite uncle came to me, gave me his car, and told me he was going to watch the kids and for me to go out and have a breather. I decided to see a movie - I can’t remember which one - but the paper had gotten the time wrong and it had already started by the time I got there. I asked the woman selling tickets what she recommended that was coming up and she very fervently told me to go and see this one.

Still one of the best movies I have ever seen. The acting is so subtle, so beautiful, and the scenery! The ending broke me, just shattered me into a million pieces. Years later, when my wife died, I knew exactly that feeling of desperately wanting to go back in time and somehow do it all right and all I can say is, both Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi get all of my love forever for doing it the way they did.

I bought it when it finally came out on DVD with English subtitles and I made my late wife watch it with me and she sobbed at the end and told me I was cruel for making her watch it. (Guess what, babe? You were crueler for making me live it.)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Normally I am not all that keen on books being made into movies. I fucking loved Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith and wasn’t sure about it being taken out of its Victorian England setting into 1930′s Korea but oh my god I have never been happier to have been proved wrong in my life. THIS FILM. Listen, it is one of those rare times when a book and an adaptation can stand next to each other, equally as good, equally as strong, despite the differences. There is so much to unpack about women’s experiences with sex and how that compares to how men dictate those experiences to them and the movie never drops the ball with this. Frankly, I had seen Oldboy and Snowpiercer (among others) and I really did not think Park Chan-wook had it in him and shame on me for that.

Warning: this movie is HOT.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

This is a damn good movie. Charlize Theron elevates anything she is in, and as Furiosa - dirty, grim, disabled, clinging on to tattered hope with desperation - she just takes this film to another level. Plenty of other good performances - including Tom Hardy, who’s never afraid to drop himself into a role - and some frankly astonishing editing work by Margaret Sixel as well as a male director who understands, deeply, how to film women without subjecting them to the male gaze. This is not a schlock film, despite the franchise it belongs in. It’s good.

I saw this film the night before my wife died; the last time I spoke to her on the phone I told her that I’d take her with me to see it again, I knew she’d like it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to separate this film from that loss, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Still wish you could have seen it, babe. You would have loved it.

The Great Race (1965)

Is this a great movie? Not critically speaking, although Jack Lemmon is brilliant, as he almost always is. Rather, it was a movie my father and I loved together, and I have so many good memories of watching it with him whenever it would play on TV (these were the years before VHS even, never mind Netflix) and eating popcorn and laughing together.

We loved the huge pie fight scene so much that on my 16th birthday my father bought 3 dozen store bought pies, defrosted them and/or baked them (with the help of our neighbor, who was in on the secret) and he woke me up that morning, told me to get dressed and come outside, and he got me with a pie to the face right as I walked out the door and the two of us chased each other, throwing and dodging pies, making an unholy mess, slipping and sliding all over our deck and driveway, stumbling and laughing hysterically.

It is one of the best memories in my life. How many other girls can say their fathers gave them a pie fight for their sweet sixteen? This movie makes me laugh and, more importantly, remember my father with so much love.

The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

I did love all three of these films. Were they perfect? No. (I am still salty about Faramir’s entire movie arc and the fact that Merry was just Pippin 2.0 instead of the distinct character he was in the books.) But they were made with so much love and heart by people who loved and cared deeply for the source material. And they were astonishing in scope as well. Just glorious to see in the theater.

I first read those books when my father lent me his copies when I was eight and they were a vital part of my growing up; to see Peter Jackson and his entire cast and crew love them as much as I did was genuinely special for me.

The other two films are just as good with some astonishing moments (Billy Boy’s last minute song in The Return of the King still gives me goosebumps) but this was the first one, and just remembering holding my wife’s hand as we both gasped together over the scope of it was a memory I will keep with me always.

When my wife and I went to see this one here in Finland I was pregnant with my twins and I was like, oh my god, please die already Boromir because were twins on my bladder and I knew if I didn’t get to a toilet soon it was going to be all over. (It was a long movie without a pee break for a pregnant person, let me just say.) I was never happier for a tragic end to a movie in my life, LOL.

The Matrix (1999)

Dude. Dude. Just the concept of this movie. The Wachowski sisters have never limited themselves and that’s what makes them so different and so exciting. One of the greats of Sci Fi and, as far as I am concerned, one of the greats bar none. Yeah sure, I know it isn’t a critical darling but lord, I am not a film critic, just someone who loves movies. And I love this one. 

(And excuse you, Elon and the rest of you alt-right men’s groups, you dicks, for appropriating the whole blue/red pill thing: it’s a concept from two trans sisters, so fuck right off with that.)

My best friend, who saw it with me the first time (I took my late wife to see it later in the year when she arrived in the States) laughed at the whole little kid with spoon scene. That’s like listening to you, she said. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth or whether I’ll understand it in the moment but it will eventually make sense to me. Which pretty well sums me up, I think. And this movie as well.

The Piano (1993)

There is a moment, in this gorgeous, deeply beautiful, aching film, where Harvey Keitel fingers a small hole in Holly Hunter’s stocking and it is the most erotic heterosexual thing I have ever seen. Trust a woman director to understand why women would love this. There’s Harvey Keitel’s character: older, soft around the middle, barely literate, covered with traditional facial tattoos. He’s nobody’s idea of hot. But he understands what this woman in particular needs, understands what she is telling him without words, and that’s what he gives her and it is erotic beyond measure. It’s not about what he looks like; it’s about how he understands her.

Holly Hunter does this movie without speaking a single word or getting any subtitles and short of a few brief translations by Anna Paquin playing her young daughter still manages to express herself. It’s brilliant acting. (And look, I know - today we’d look for an actress who was mute to play the role, and rightfully so. It still doesn’t take away from Hunter’s performance.)

Ada drowned in the original script but Jane Campion changed it at the last minute when filming and it was the right choice. The absolute right choice. Ada deserves her freedom and her chance to pursue her own happiness.

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x06 Musings

My initial reaction to “Beyond the Wall”

Apparently this is the episode that is pulling the wool off of everyone’s eyes. Not the one where Sansa married Ramsay for revenge and got raped. Not the one where Shireen was burned alive because of flurries preventing Stannis from marching 20 feet. Not the one where Marg was arrested for perjury and threatened to be paraded naked except that was a fake-out and the king (unbeknownst to the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard) had formed an alliance with the Faith that didn’t already totally exist and therefore the largest army in the land was rendered useless or unwilling to free the heir of Highgarden…

You know I can keep going. I’ll take it, and yes, the teleportation was its most egregious because we KNOW how much time passed in-verse while the raven and dragons were traveling. But still, this isn’t a new level of bad, no more than Barbaro and Jessica Henwick teleporting onto a ship to murder their cousin—for justice!

Though on the other hand, there was almost nothing I could see as even being objectively enjoyable about this episode, other than one moment of some decent CGI. The battle itself was surprisingly short, and so obviously contrived that we couldn’t pretend it was a “stunning war theater” like we could last year, even if last year the context also made no goddamn sense.

Alright, time to stop delaying and actually talk about this, though of course I’ll point you to Jess’s fabulous review first if you haven’t already read it.

Winterhell

Jess breaks down the horror of Arya’s stupid Ned-slow-clapping-at-her-landing-a-bullseye story better than I can. Arya didn’t do what was required of girls growing up, and that was a source of frustration

But no, here she’s some third-wave feminist who realizes how bad the system is.

Speaking of that bad system, way to sew you dumb asshole, Sansa. What, do you think people need CLOTHES or something?

No seriously, I can’t take the toxically masculine assumptions about empowerment anymore. This entire thing is such a sexist premise, Arya shaming Sansa for navigating in a socially acceptable way

WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT OF SANSA’S ARC. SHE FIGURES OUT HOW TO WEAPONIZE THE SYSTEM TO HER BENEFIT AND DOES IT WITHOUT AROUSING THE SLIGHTEST SUSPICION

The letter thing is ridiculous too. Not even mentioning how Winterhell burned down so that’d probably be destroyed, this should not be that much of a conflict, nor should it have the potential to undo Sansa.

As Jess pointed out, Ned played along with the Lannisters too, because THAT’S WHAT YOU DO. Is he a traitor?

Then Sansa runs to Littlefinger even though we know she doesn’t trust him.

This is where the “they’re playing LF” honeypot stems from I think, but there’s no indication that Arya and Sansa aren’t reacting to each other alone, earnestly. Do they think Littlefinger planted some kind of audio bug on Sansa or something?

LF then brings up Brienne, which is followed by the scene of Sansa ordering Brienne to Cheryl’s Landing on her behalf for the already-scheduled meeting (even though Operation Bag-A-Wight is still going on), and being an asshole about it

The only sense I can make of this is that LF wants Brienne dead, or Arya dead, and is trying to urge a fight between them since we know they enjoy that? Which I guess would just help narrow down the field of non-LF allies to Sansa

Then *maybe* Sansa is sending Brienne away for her own protection, a la through rocks in Nymeria’s face??

Except there’s NO INDICATION OF THIS. Sansa’s rationale for why she’s sending a proxy to Cheryl’s Landing checks out, especially given Jon being MIA for the North (lol)

To cap off the game of “let’s hate each other to fuck with LF in private” Sansa then finds Arya’s messenger bag of Halloween masks

and no, sorry, Sansa’s terror is played as genuine, and thank the gods she gets yet another abuser, this time a member of her family! Yay!!

SPOILER (if anyone cares) I’m starting to wonder if Sansa orders Arya to execute LF next week just to buy herself a little trust from her horrible sister, and not because they actually figure anything out

Just all around bad bad bad. Fuck sisterly affection. They were different and hated each other growing up, so therefore they’ll be antagonistic towards each other after reuniting, trauma and shared grief be damned

That said, I feel like Sansa listens to UBS. Yes! She is the reason they have the North! She shouldn’t march her face into Cheryl’s Landing! She should have her interests represented! Correct!

Bo had the above take. This killed me. I want the Bunny Hood next week.

Dragonstone

They’re playing a weird game of having to deal with all of Tyrion’s plans turning to shit, and yet also having to keep him the golden boy. It’s not really working

Is Deadpan supposed to be getting paranoid like Aerys now? But then she’s later portrayed as a straight-up Good Guy Hero later, so I have confusion

This conversation goes literally nowhere, and frankly…yeah, why bother dealing with the line of succession now? She holds Dragonstone and no one even wanted it. And Daario’s probably doing fine in Meereen

This could have been a good exploration into her sorrow over being the last Targ…sorta? Like, her just not wanting to deal with it. But the show has never dealt with it before, so it doesn’t really come across as anything rooted in characterization

Me too, Deadpan.

Beyond the Wall

My brain was unable to focus on half these conversations, so I’m going to go back and rewatch before podcasting. Like. It was all walking and talking.

Not even in the good way. In the fic-ask-prompt kind of way. “Jon and Beric in a coffee shop, go!”

To highlight I guess

Jon & Jorah: Jon offers Jorah Longclaw because being an exiled slaver was hard on him. Glad this never came up with Lyanna, the actual heir of the house

Tormond makes a bawdy joke about raping Gendry because sex is a good way to keep warm. Male victimization is a hoot

Gendry gets mad at the Brotherhood without Banners for literally selling him and almost killing him, but Sandor tells him to stop “winging” because his complaints about being sexually assaulted by Mel “could be worse”

The Hound & Tormond chat about nicknames for penises before Tormond #nohomos and talks about how hot Brienne is

Jon & Beric have both been dead, what’s up with that? Also Jon quotes his Night’s Watch vows that he broke to gain inspiration from then, and Beric says he doesn’t look like Ned. Uh…

Jorah thinks Thoros was AWESOME for the Pyke battle

Then a bear attacks and I’m put out of my misery. A wight bear. Whatever

Who the fuck are these red shirts?

Thoros almost dies, but doesn’t die, but then he dies overnight, so…okay.

The wights walk in an orderly single file.

We learn a new contrivance: wights all fall if the white walker that personally res’d them is killed. There’s so many ways this doesn’t work with what we’ve seen, not the least of which that there was ONE WIGHT who was still squirming around

A whole lot of effort for convincing Cheryl, btw, who has essentially no army at this point

Then the other wights hear this wight’s struggle? And Jon tells Gendry who has never seen snow before that he’s the fastest runner (how does he know this) and has to go send a bird to Deadpan to help them out

this is baldly ridiculous. Their only shot is if they all try to book it

Then they run across cracking ice to a little rock, and then are shielded from wights because of…cracked ice

DEAD THINGS IN THE WATER

Also, dead things go through the water later in the episode

In-verse time: Gendry runs towards Eastwatch as the sun is setting and gets there around dusk. Jon & Co. wait out one night and the attack begins when the sun is still shining. I’m putting this at about 22 hours passing. A low-ball could be 14.

Raven gets to Dragonstone, Dany flies beyond the Wall and bails them out

The battle itself was underwhelming, I thought. Just smashing random skeletons who now die with any weapon (what about FIRE like we learned in Season 1?)

Viserion’s death looked cool, and the sinking into the puddle reminded me of King Dodongo. Dunno if that’s a good thing or not, but there you have it.

However, why did Shogun aim for the far away flying dragon and not Drogon who was RIGHT THERE and full of the people trying to get away?

He literally had his buddy ready his javelin for him

Jon falling into a puddle was…what? Why did this happen? Was this for closure for Uncle Benjen? Was this so we could have a dramatic moment of Deadpan thinking he died? Was this just to have a reason for a shirtless Jon on the boat so she could see his stab wounds? What did this add??

Then the res’d Viserion was kind of cooler in concept than seeing it happen. Oh wow, let’s focus on his eye I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN

Lol at the metal working wights with their big ass chains. Can they make mini-Needle necklaces for everyone too?

Also very not reading into any of this being from the books. I could see this happening in a way, I guess? But this context, especially with a javelin-throwing Night’s King can’t be the case.

I don’t even… At least the critical reviews are pouring in. This deserved it. So did the past three years’ worth of episodes, but still.

Top 3 Nitpicks (not glaring, gaping errors)

The invitation to a meeting in KL that couldn’t have been arranged yet

The clothing! No one was wearing a hood? Deadpan was traveling faster than a jet without ear warmers?

Jon not being dead of hypothermia (or his managing to climb out at all with his sodden furs and heavy boots)

[stilestilikeslydia]

A Totally Objective and Unemotional Recap of Teen Wolf Episode 6x12: Raw Talent

@wellsjahasghost hasn’t gotten a chance to watch the episode yet, so I told her I’d write her a recap, and....... yeah, this is about as far from objective as it gets.

friends, i really hated this episode, and this recap is almost entirely negative, so if you really liked the episode, you probably want to skip this post lol. if you're also bitter and want to enjoy 2.5k of someone else ranting, please read on!

The real title of this text post: 

Anya Discusses Plot Holes, #recycledplotlines, and Casual Racism in Episode 6x12

*ahem* 

The show begins. The0 R@eken, sleeping in his car because he is homeless and friendless and irredeemable, is awoken multiple times, in multiple locations and at multiple times of day, by police officers rapping on his window and telling him to get up and leave. It takes me three minutes to figure out that it's him for sure because he's grown out his hair a bit to look more Boyish, Unkempt, and Vulnerable and I can no longer tell white boys on Teen Wolf apart. By the time I've reached 95% certainty that it is, in fact, the white boy who literally killed Scott and is still stanned by tw fans everywhere, he's waking up in the middle of the night to a spider crawling on his hand. He watches it, fascinated and unafraid, probably because he's like "yo this thing looks as evil as I am lolol." Then the spider burrows under his skin.

Cue The0 breaking into Deaton's vet office to stab the spider crawling around in his back with a scalpel and pull it out of him. Cue me gagging. Then the spider disappears in a puff of black smoke/gunpowder dust bc like... why not.

The police montage continues. And continues. I'm bored. Then - gasp! - the next police are nOt In fAcT CoPs bUt mEN wItH gUnS wHo wAnT To kiLL thE0. They shoot into his car repeatedly, and the scene ends.

(This would be a good cliffhanger if tw trailers didn't already show him appearing in future episodes smh.)

I refuse to watch the episode again, so I'm just going to say that I'm pretty sure the mcmartate scene is next. I'm not going to recap it fully because it was actually pretty good and this recap is not about Accuracy, it's about Salt. In short, the Scott laser scene happens but it turns out that the lasers were actually police flashlight beams (why were they in the woods?!?! who the heck knows. oh wait p@rrish exists, i forgot. maybe he told them about getting beat up by a hellhound wearing matching boxer briefs) and he was hallucinating. he's panicked enough to wolf out before he realizes it's a hallucination and the entire police department sees his eyes glowing red. great great great my son is hallucinating yET AGAIN, i really needed him to suffer more. also he pockets the Argent bullet shell case and mcmartate decides to talk to Chris Argent before they involve Papa Stilinski.

Mcmartate is a Good group. "Maybe this episode won't be so bad," I think.

*sighs*

idk what order the next scenes happen in, so i'm just going to tackle each subplot separately lol.

2.0:

Mason and Liam are chatting in the boys' locker room before lacrosse practice about the supernatural evil threatening Beacon Hills, surrounded by tons of freshmen who could easily overhear them. Liam's giving an extra practice to the freshmen so they have a chance of making first line, even though Mason thinks this is foolish. Liam explains that Brett is helping him, which makes no sense, but I don't mind because this sequence happens:

M: Brett? Incredibly... HOT Brett, with the 8-pack abs?

L (sounding mildly disgruntled... iS SOMEONE JEALOUS R U SURE UR STRAIGHT KIDDO): Pretty sure it's just Brett.

M: He has an 8-PACK. Do y- do you know how hard it is for the human body to have an 8-pack??? *music swells dramatically and then cuts off* ...God.

Also, at the end, Liam tosses Mason over his shoulder and carries him out of the locker room because he was accidentally discouraging the freshmen.

This is the best scene in the episode.

Next, both Liam and Corey failing to do a decent job at playing lacrosse. This is ostensibly an extra practice for the freshmen, and yet Brett, Liam, and Corey are the only ones playing. Brett outclasses them both in looks, swagger, and skill. Liam has no control as usual and Brett tells him to get it together. Audience reaction: Writers are recycling Liam's s4 plotline bc they ran out of ideas for his character; Brett is so clearly superior to Corey that we don't understand why Mason and Corey didn't break up during the hiatus so Brason could happen. Also, guidance counselor watches Brett score on Corey and hears Corey reply, "Wait, I'm not actually invisible right now, am I?" Nice subtlety, Corey.

Liam is pissed bc #recycledplotlines and punches out a locker. Somehow stays there all day because by the time Mason and Corey go to find him, it's after dark??? And since it's summer, it must be like 9:30??? "We need to study for a history test" hOW IS THE SCHOOL STILL OPEN THIS LATE i will never understand.

Oh yeah I forgot, while Liam was still working through his anger issues on the lacrosse field, a bunch of spiders crawl into a freshman boy's helmet in the locker room, and when he puts it on, they invade his body and then start crawling out of his mouth. So when Mason and Corey go to find Liam, they notice a smeared blood trail on the locker room floor and follow it to the showers, where there is an..... unidentifiable bloody mass on the floor. I am disturbed.

Brett:

After obliterating Liam and Corey, it is somehow magically nighttime and he's heading towards his car when the guidance counselor shows up, holding a lacrosse ball that rolled off the field. She compliments his abnormal skill level and tosses him the ball.... which turns out to be covered in wolfsbane. She claims it's "nothing personal,” but no one deserves that much power, and then tries to kill him. I think she stabs him??? I forget the details of their fight. Anyway, he manages to escape.

Scott and Malia:

They go looking for Chris at his... house? bunker? who knows. He has crates full of guns, surprising no one. They have #wittybanter and #chemistry, surprising no one. (i’m sorry i’m sorry i just feel like sc@lia is forced i’m sorry) Scott tells Malia it's okay to break into Chris's computer to find his calendar, and she is turned on by his rule-bending. All of the passwords she guesses involve her capitalizing the first word and adding spaces, because that's how passwords work. Scott picks up a bow and has a Revelation, immediately going to Chris's computer to type in ALLISON as the password. It's the second #recycledplotine of the night. Not to mention that as much as Chris loves his daughter, he is much too practical to have such an easily hackable password.

Questionable computer security aside, they show up in the middle of one of Chris's gun deals right after his fake military buyers pull out their guns, realizing that Chris knows they're fake military and is trying to find out who their boss is. Chris is annoyed with them for intervening and claims that he had an inside man that they just took out while trying to help him, which is yet another plot hole bc Chris shouldn't need to ask about bosses if he has an inside man. In the following chaos-ridden action scene, Scott drops the Argent shell casing. Chris says it's okay and they'll just find the actual bullet in the woods.

Best line of the episode: After Scott and Malia ask if the shell casing belongs to him, Chris says, "I haven't stamped a bullet since Allison died." Our hearts all break a little.

Anyway, despite their plans to go to the woods TOGETHER, Chris is mysteriously nowhere in sight so Scott and Malia can have ~time alone~. Malia shows concern for Scott's well-being. They smile at each other, and thanks to compulsive heterosexuality, this clearly means they've just caught feelings. I'm definitely not still bitter that the writers didn't bring back Kira and give Malia a girlfriend instead.

(in all honesty, however, i can admit that this scene was objectively cute, and it was great character development that already happened in s5 but again #recycledplotlines to see Malia actively caring about other people. I’m really happy for sc@lia shippers because I know you were all really excited about that scene.)

Chris comes back. They find a bullet in a tree thanks to its infared heat signature or smthg (idk i'm spaced out at this point). It's a silver bullet, meaning that the guidance counselor is just a wannabe Hunter, not the Genuine Article.

Lydia and Toast:

At the sheriff's station, Lydia??? hears some noise in her premonitions and decides to tell Toast and not her bf's dad for??? some completely valid reason i'm sure??? tbh i have no idea what the premise of this scene is, but Lydia realizes that the noise she keeps hearing is the key card reader from Eichen House. Apparently that means something bad is happening there so she tells Toast that they need to go check it out. Toast tells her that there's no way he's "letting her" go back there - because clearly he owns her and she can't make decisions for herself - and decides to go alone instead, because once again, that clearly makes so much more sense than telling the Sheriff. The whole scene is written to make it sound like Toast is the only one who cares about Lydia's well-being - because it's definitely not like she has a pack full of friends who care about her and a boyfriend who would do anything for her - and therefore is in charge of protecting her in a creepily possessive way. Aka, tw writers are still pandering to M@rrish fans even after Stydia is canon, and I don't know why I'm surprised.

So Toast goes to Eichen, meets Creepy Doctor who accidentally released Other Hellhound last week, and tells him to let him into the closed ward after hearing a woman begging for help. Doctor refuses. Toast shows him his glowing eyes as an... intimidation tactic??? Doctor complies but locks the door behind Toast after he enters.

Toast finds the woman in a communal-shower-type room (which???? okay), lying on the floor with an open electric cable sparking her body every few seconds, surrounded by a bunch of other apparently dead supernatural creatures. When Doctor arrives and Toast tells him to help, plot twist! Doctor is the one who put them there. (Oh, look, electricity........ I wonder who would be helpful....... in this........ situation........)

Doctor gets Toast locked up in room where Other Hellhound used to reside and turns down the temperature, telling Toast that he'll freeze him from the inside out or smthg.

Meanwhile, Lydia's just been hanging out at the sheriff station and waiting for Toast instead of registering for MIT because according to a reminder on her phone, this is the ~last day~ for her to do so and Lydia "IQ of 170" Martin OBVIOUSLY would have put off registration until the last minute. OF COURSE. She ignores the notification bc apparently college isn't important and steals one of the deputies' walkie talkies after she hears strange noises emitting from it. Her absurd attempts to sneak casually would have made Stiles Stilinski proud af.

However, her next move would NOT have made Stiles Stilinski proud af, as she hears the Doctor threatening Toast and immediately decides to go after him alone instead of

1) calling Scott so that Scott and Malia can come with her or

2) taking the Sheriff, seeing as he is her BOYFRIEND'S DAD and also CONVENIENTLY LOCATED IN THE SAME BUILDING AS HER AT THAT MOMENT.

So. Naturally. She goes to Eichen alone, and every sound she hears, every sight she sees, is immensely triggering. For the first time, Teen Wolf actually somewhat addresses the fact that Lydia has PTSD after everything she's been through. This is a good thing. I would be happy with this development if, again, Lydia wasn't alone throughout the entire experience. Clearly, Teen Wolf writers have decided that Strong Female Characters must always face their fears alone if they want to remain Strong Female Characters. Clearly, having her friends there to ground her would have taken away from her character development. Clearly, it wouldn't have been amazing to see Lydia accept her friends' help when s1 Lydia Martin never would have shown weakness around others. Clearly, having a support network when you've faced immense trauma isn't important at all. CLEARLY.

(Clearly I didn't have to pause my TV at this point because I was so horrified and angry that the TW writers placed her in a situation where she was surrounded by a myriad of triggers, on the verge of a panic attack, and completely alone.)

Anyway, Lydia reaches a turning point where she is somehow able to push aside all of those horrible memories and find Toast, who's been slowly freezing to death while watching Doctor hold a gun with shaking hands. Doctor's been explaining that he hates guns and has always been opposed to violence, but his fear of supernatural creatures has led him to believe that eradicating them all is the only way to ensure normal humans' safety.

Lydia runs into the cell just as Doctor raises the gun to shoot Toast in the head. She screams, knocking Doctor back and killing him. GREAT. LET'S ADD ANOTHER TRAUMATIC EICHEN MEMORY TO THE PILE. LYDIA DEFINITELY NEEDED TO KILL SOMEONE ELSE. THAT WOULDN'T BE EMOTIONALLY SCARRING AT ALL. OF COURSE STILES IS ENTITLED TO AN ENTIRE SEASON OF ANGST AFTER KILLING DONOVAN IN SELF-DEFENSE, BUT LYDIA KILLING MULTIPLE PEOPLE WOULDN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL RAMIFICATIONS. OF COURSE.

End scenes:

2.0: Suddenly realizing that freshman boy (I think his name is Aaron) is missing, they go running around the school looking for him and eventually find him in a classroom, magically unharmed. "What are you doing here?" they ask. "Just remembered we have a history test," he replies. I thought this boy was a freshman. smh.

McMarTate: Clearly not scarred from her experiences at all, Lydia rejoins Malia and Scott to discuss their discoveries. Cue "what is everyone afraid of?"/"us" scene combined with a montage of everyone looking away from Liam in slow motion at school the next day, apparently afraid of him. Which is definitely because they magically know he's a werewolf, and not because they don't want to catch the disease that gave him his awful haircut.

Brett: Brett pounces on the guidance counselor, who's looking for him in the woods, and they start fighting. It looks like he's going to win, but then he gets shot in the chest with an arrow and runs off.

The arrow was shot by Gerard.

He tells wannabe hunter/guidance counselor that she has potential.

Huzzah, what a great episode.

Bonus casual racism: Now that Kira's gone, wannabe hunter/guidance counselor (who still doesn't have a name...... oh hey, look, mORE CASUAL RACISM) is the only woman of color on the show... and she's a Black antagonist. This is clearly Not Problematic At All.

Of course, thanks to theories that will be discussed in this week's episode of stydiacast, it's possible that this casting decision is entirely legitimate.

HOWEVER, one other poc was introduced in this episode...... and Aaron, poor young freshman lacrosse player, is now possibly being possessed by spiders and will likely also be a Black antagonist, albeit one with no control over his actions.

Oh, hey, doesn't..... that...... sound..... familiar? It's.... almost like..... another problematic #recycledplotline. *looks at s5 Mason Hewitt*

Thanks, Teen Wolf.

[nerdpiggy]

I GOT TAGGED!!!! IN A THING!!!!!

thank you so much @muffinmalika for tagging me,,, i have never been more grateful,, god bless

RULES:

Write a note with 92 truths and then tag some friends!! (you’re supposed to tag 25 people but…i have like 5 mutuals)

LASTS:

Last drink: Hot chocolate! completely unsurprising Last phone call: I think it was with my dad? I don’t remember what it was about Last text: my mom texted me 16 minutes ago about how we’re checking out of our hotel in an hour or so. As of right now I’m vacationing in Miami but by the time I post this I’ll probably be back in Boston Last song I listened to: Haunt by Echos Last time I cried: I was watching anime a day before yesterday…..I watched the new episode of Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid and the genuine lesbian representation they showed (between kids! so pure) had me tearing up :,)

HAVE YOU EVERS:

Been cheated on: Nope! I’ve never dated anyone before Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope! I’ve never kissed anyone before Been depressed: I have depression Been drunk and thrown up: Never been drunk before and (hopefully) never plan to Kissed a stranger: Nope! Drank hard liquor: Nope! Lost glasses/contacts: I’ve never needed glasses or contacts. If this question is asking whether I’ve lost somebody else’s glasses or contacts, the answer is no Been arrested: Nope! Turned someone down: Romantically? no, because I’ve never been asked… I’ve turned down invitations to hang out and stuff like that, if that’s what this is asking? Cried when someone died: yeah,, do anime characters count?? Fallen for a friend: mmm yeah

IN THE PAST YEAR, HAVE YOU…? I’ll just talk about last school year as a whole, so end of 2015 to mid-2016

Made a new friend: Many! :D Laughed until you’ve cried: Absolutely!! Met someone who changed you: definitely yes. Found out who your true friends were: I think so? Most of my friends are true friends. :D Found out someone was talking about you: …No…? Nobody really talks about me

GENERAL QUESTIONS:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Three, I think? Sam, Teresa, and Tajea Do you have any pets?: I have a dog at my dad’s house and 2 birds at my mom’s. My dog Oscar is a 9-year-old corgi/beagle mix and my birds are Parakeets From Hell™ Do you want to change your name?: As of now I’m pretty chill with my name. What time did you wake up this morning?: Well my brother woke me up at around 6:38 but I had been half asleep for hours prior to that because I woke up at 2am when i almost suffocated myself in my sleep with a pillow

~*~time skip to 6 days later when all of my previous answers have changed but I’m too lazy to do this all over again~*~

What were you doing last night?: Flying back to Boston from Miami Name something you cannot wait for: NINTENDO SWITCH Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yeah! I used to have a cat named Tom and there have been a few Toms at old schools. What’s getting on your nerves rn?: The heat. Man I just came back from a super hot vacation only for today to break a Boston record for how hot it’s ever been on this date and i want my cold weather back :( Blood type: I think I’m O+. Nicknames: Brina (used by my mom), Sabs, Sab, Sabby (used by my brother), smol, child (used by my friends) Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Virgo Pronouns: she/her Favorite TV show: As of current, Voltron: Legendary Defender! I also watch a lot of anime but never on TV. Hair color: Boring brown :/ Long or short: Long! Crushes: I literally do not comprehend what feelings are considered a “crush” so I just guess. Idk, pretty girls in my classes? Tattoos: Well I mean I have a temporary henna tattoo on my forearm right now but I don’t have any actual tattoos. I’m thinking of getting 1 or 2 in the future though! Righty or lefty?: I’m a righty in everything except for archery!

FIRSTS:

First surgery: Never had one First piercing: I pierced my ears when I was 10 First best friend: I had a neighborhood friend who I always hung out with when I was really litter. She was a real bitch lol I haven’t seen her in years First sport you joined: I think it was tee ball when I was like 6 First vacation: the first one I remember is Aruba but maybe I’ve gone to another before that

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: nothing but i ate a lot of sour cream and onion chips earlier Drinking: nothing but I had a caprisun earlier because caprisuns are the bomb I’m about to: go to sleep Listening: nothing right now but previously I was listening to my huge Savant playlist

WHICH IS BETTER?:

Lips or eyes?: Hmmm I’m gonna go with eyes Hugs or kisses: Hugs!!! Shorter or taller: Ohhh are these like romantic partner questions? Well i don’t really care :D maybe I prefer shorter? Older or younger?: I’d try to go for someone my age but i dont mind someone a little older or younger Sensitive or loud?: I am both of these things. I dont really care lol Hook up or relationship?: relationship Troublemaker or hesitant?: probably hesitant because troublemakers give me heart attacks :O

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…?

Miracles: I have no reason not to lol Love at first sight: Absolutely not!! That’s just called infatuation Heaven: Nope! Santa Claus: Nope!

Ok wow this was really long,, also sorry for this being posted and taken down and reposted a few times because mobile tumblr is a bitch that posts things prematurely and decides to make all html code visible

I’m tagging: @blackreapershome, @cuddlebuttcheeks , @musesmatter , @oh-so-typical , @oikabwah , @toxic-youtube , and @blazietiger ! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to :D