#it was funny there was no reason for it to exist other than to stir drama

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

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user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

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user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

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user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

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user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

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user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

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user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[loves4yukio]

Unspoken Desires

Negan x F!Reader

Summary : You consistently rejected Negan's romantic advances because you didn't wish to become another one of his conquests. You avoid him as much as you could, but things became more intricate when he revealed his sole interest in you and no one else.

Warnings (18+) : SMUT, age gap (you are in your 20's and Negan is in his mid-late 40's), swearing, fingering, vaginal sex, dom!Negan, secret relationship, no use of y/n, mentions of sex (?) — I'm not sure what to put, so if you have any advice, I'll take it.

Word count : 5k6

You endured what felt like the most draining day of your existence. Your time outdoors alongside Simon, engaging in a lengthy run, exceeded the usual duration, leads you to return later than anticipated to the Sanctuary — where you seek solace in the privacy of your bedroom. Shedding your work attire, you exchanged it for the comfort of shorts and a cozy sweater, an outfit suited for rest. Seated at your desk, you embarked upon the task of drafting the expedition report, as mandated by Negan.

You toil in silence, engrossed in the task, driven by your yearning to assimilate into the community and meet Negan's expectations. When you're at last content with the outcome, you glance up from your desk, eyeing the time displayed on the clock. 'It's getting late, I need a break,' you muse. The alluring temptation of watching a movie, an idea often suggested by Negan, tempted you irresistibly.

As a recent addition to the Saviors, you had caught Negan's profound interest, the reasons for which remained a mystery to you. On numerous occasions, you found his intense gaze fixed upon you, his signature smile accompanying his playful, suggestive banter. The effect it had on you was undeniable, stirring an internal storm you couldn't easily dismiss.

Occasionally, you yielded to his allure, but it always left you in self-reproach, retreating into seclusion and creating distance. Negan always persisted, unwilling to swiftly relinquish his grasp on you. He was resolute, refusing to let you go to another.

Negan was known for his ladies' man side. He already had six wives by his side. Negan being Negan, he had proposed you become one of them, but you persistently declined, knowing it wouldn’t bring you joy. Yet, here you found yourself, part of his inner circle and laboring under his directives. This didn't deter him from the amusement of seducing you, sending your senses spinning — a pleasure he relished, especially the moments when you'd bite your lip each time he whispered something dirty in your ear.

Satisfied with the task's completion, you left your chambers, strolling silently through the corridor of the floor designated for Negan and his wives. You had the liberty to wander there at will, given your residence on that floor — Negan had made it clear that the floor was as much your abode as his and his wives'.

As you lingered in the room's alcove, the soft hum of the television reached your ears. Despite the dimness, the silhouettes on the couch were distinguishable. For a fleeting moment, you observed Negan and a few of his wives holding each other tenderly, their forms intertwined in a embrace.

This simple yet profound sight stirred a tumult of emotions within you. While relieved not to be entangled in Negan's romantic affairs, you couldn't stifle the growing pangs of jealousy. Negan embodied the epitome of your ideal man : handsome, funny, sociable and seemingly damn good at sex. Some nights, the sounds of their cries of pleasures echoed through the corridors upstairs, teasing a tale of their intimate rendezvous.

With the utmost care, you glided across the floor, your steps hushed to avoid disrupting their tranquility. Neither of them caught a glimpse of your passing silhouette ; such was your stealth. Arriving in the kitchen, you prepared a light snack, allowing the gentle whir of the refrigerator to fill the space.

Within the serene hush of the living room, where the dimmed lights cast the room in a veil of darkness, an aged cowboy movie flickered on the screen. Negan slumped on the generous couch, a soft sigh escaping him as Frankie sought solace against his shoulder. A fleeting moment of quiet ensued until one of them decided to shatter the silence.

“Has she returned from work ?” Sherry inquired on your behalf, arching an eyebrow, her attention diverted from the movie flickering on the television.

Shifting his gaze toward her, Negan emitted a noncommittal sound, almost an 'I dunno,' just before ensnaring her in a kiss filled with such fervor that it deterred her from pursuing the topic. Using it as a diversion, he let his hand slide down her back, the touch lingering on the black fabric of her dress, seeking more intimate contact.

“I'll be back, I'll fetch us some snacks. I'm feeling a bit peckish,” Amber murmured, beginning to withdraw from the group. However, Negan's hand swiftly seized her thigh, wordlessly commanding her to remain where she was.

“You're not fucking going anywhere, darling. I've got this covered, ladies,” Negan declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.

With a final surreptitious kiss, seizing Frankie's jaw for a change, he rose to make his way towards the kitchen, where he finds you. Unnoticed by you, he seized the chance to gaze at you, slyly running his tongue over his lips.

Deep in thought, you positioned the containers on the kitchen counter. When you eventually faced him, you briefly glanced away, continuing your preparations ; as if focusing on the task could banish the persistent memories clouding your mind. Negan picked up on your deliberate actions, earning one of his trademark, smug smiles.

“How long have you been here, sweetheart ?” His question sliced through the air, his tone betraying no notice of the tension that crept into your body upon hearing his voice.

“Not too long. I just came down,” you responded, daring to meet his gaze once more.

Observing him move around the central cabinet, selecting a variety of nuts to fill a small dish, he paused in his desire to approach the refrigerator, positioning himself behind you. He pressed your form gently against the counter, allowing his weight to meld with yours. His warm breath danced across the curve of your neck as his lips drew close to your ear.

“Aren't you joining us ?” he inquired, planting tender kisses against your soft skin, echoing a familiarity from moments when you were alone.

Your gaze remained evasive, yet inwardly, you pondered the wisdom of joining them in the living room. The situation was already taut with tension, and you hesitated to further complicate matters. On one hand, the desire to spend time with them lingered, but on the other, an apprehension loomed — an uncertainty of what might unfold, beyond your control.

“I'm not sure that's wise, Negan,” you murmured softly, breathlessly.

“Smart enough to handle it, darlin',” Negan replied with a sly smirk, dismissing your concern.

He remained silent, his hazel eyes fixed upon you in quiet contemplation. Your body tingled under his fleeting touch, heightening the feverish sensation as he grazed against you. Carefully tearing open a bag of chips, you delicately poured a portion into a bowl, then turned to present it to him.

“Here. I wouldn't want you to miss the movie because of me,” you said, offering an innocent smile.

The warmth and tenderness of your presence felt soothing, as though it seamlessly melded with his, an indelible union. With each step, he sought to intoxicate himself within this fleeting moment, wishing it could linger a little longer. Ceasing the intimate connection by turning towards him brought a sense of discomfort to Negan, especially when he was reveling in the closeness.

His hands mirrored your actions as you turned to face him, his countenance etched with seriousness, his unwavering gaze fixed upon you. Lifting the bowl of chips you'd prepared, he wordlessly returned it to the counter, observing you as if something unusual was unfolding. His scrutiny delved deep, as though attempting to decipher the depths of your soul.

“Then go to your room,” his words sliced the air, unexpectedly severe, nearly cutting.

His stare posed a challenge, urging you to venture beyond the ordinary. It was no longer just about the movie, and you were acutely aware of this shift. He was testing you.

Your brow arched in response to his intense scrutiny, granting him permission to draw nearer. You felt defenseless, adrift, and utterly powerless. His husky voice only added to your sense of unease. It was absurd how effortlessly you seemed to be losing your self-possession, akin to a fragile leaf that could be easily crumpled in his grasp. The very notion made your heart race within your chest.

Enveloped by the weight of his penetrating gaze, you hesitated to even reach out to touch him. You found yourself silently studying him, attempting to decipher the cryptic undertone of his words. Tilting your head ever so slightly, you cast a swift, cautious glance around, ensuring no prying eyes were upon you, before returning your focus to him.

He stood before you, a commanding presence, his unwavering, intense gaze fixed upon you. Was it even your place to be standing alongside them ? You blinked, releasing a breath as you succumbed to the overwhelming closeness. It might have appeared peculiar, perhaps even self-centered, but you would have preferred if his wives were absent. It could have been the attraction you felt toward Negan… or for some undisclosed reason.

“Must I, really ?” you blurted in a voice barely louder than a whisper, surrendering to the game. “Seems to me like you're eager for my company. Don't you ?”

“Oh, you think so, huh ? You don't have a damn clue about the game you're playing, sweetheart.”

His lips, once momentarily dry, became moistened by a subtle lick, accentuating his wolfish grin. Your hips were gently pressed against the counter's edge, his eyes traversing your form, observing your casual attire. Despite the room's darkness, his gaze fixated upon you, brimming with unwavering attention.

Within moments, you leaned against the nearby furniture, settling there while maintaining an unbroken gaze with him. Negan briefly scanned the kitchen's entrance before redirecting his focus back to you. Ensnared under his intense scrutiny, you found yourself entranced, incapable of averting your eyes from the fervor of his. Each step he took toward you sent shivers down your spine, accelerating the rhythm of your heart. Your breaths grew shallower, the atmosphere thick with an electric charge.

“Don't start something that you can't finish,” he moved a step nearer.

“Who said I couldn't see it through ?” you retorted mischievously.

Negan moved with a predator's intent, every step bringing him closer to you until he stood mere inches away. In that suspended moment, it felt as though time had halted, the world vanishing to leave only the confined space that separated the two of you. The passing seconds dragged by, laden with anticipation, until he loomed over you, finally capturing your face in a firm yet gentle hold, drawing it close to his. His intense gaze traced every curve of your eyes and lips, as if they beckoned to him.

As his fingers secured your face, a soft moan escaped your lips, lost amidst the hollow of his kiss. The ensuing embrace was fervent, ablaze with passion, and you responded with the entirety of the longing you held for him. However, Negan aimed to tantalize you, so he permitted the kiss to endure for just a few moments, kindling a flame within you and intensifying your longing for more. Releasing a frustrated sigh, you felt an intense longing — an unquenched fire that left you parched.

“Now there's a spot on the couch waiting for your pretty ass,” he remarked, letting you go. With a bottle of liquor and the two snack bowls in hand, he strode away, leaving you behind.

Returning to the living room, the movie played on, and he seamlessly carried on watching it, feigning normalcy by exchanging a kiss with one of his wives. It was disquieting to witness the charade of his role as the perfect husband with them, all the while engaging in infidelity with you.

“Screw me…” you muttered under your breath before exiting the room, carrying your tray toward the living area.

Sherry arched a curious eyebrow upon witnessing you arrange the appetizers on the coffee table, casually taking a few pistachios as she passed by. Unaware of your true intent, she observed you taking a seat on the sofa — pretending to concentrate fully on the movie playing on the television. It was then that she realized you intended to join them in watching the film.

With a glass of whiskey in hand, Negan slipped off his shoes and stretched out along the couch, observing your approach without quite meeting your gaze. Amber perched at the edge of the sofa, indulging in the snacks from the bowls.

Leaning behind Amber — careful not to touch her, Negan reached out with his leather-clad hand toward you. His fingers delicately slipped under your sweater, making direct contact with your skin, absentmindedly caressing it without averting his eyes from the television. You attempted to divert your attention to the screen, as though nothing had transpired. Nevertheless, your body responded intensely to his tender caresses, the sensation mingling with the remnants of his previous kiss, drawing you closer, yearning for more contact.

With every delicate rise of his fingers, it was as if you were engulfed in an irresistible yet tormenting inferno. Despite the turmoil within, an appearance of composure had to be maintained, a guise of indifference. His actions appeared effortless, his focus fixed on the screen, while his touch crept higher and higher, only to smoothly readjust as Amber settled in between you on the couch. He cleared his throat, flashing his characteristic shit-eating grin.

The movie merely served as a facade, concealing the true currents swirling in the room. The tension became almost suffocating, an unspoken magnetism pulling at your souls, yet no one acknowledged the brewing tempest, recklessly dancing with fire. The intensity between you both had swelled to an almost tangible thickness, enough to be sliced through with the sharpest blade. You cast a feverish glance toward Frankie, prompting her to sit upright, sensing the charged atmosphere.

“I think I'm ready for bed,” Frankie whispered a little suddenly.

“Same, I'm getting really sleepy,” Amber added.

“Mhm, I'm heading off too. Try not to stay up too late, guys,” Sherry said as she followed the other two women.

“Sleep tight, ladies,” Negan's parting was sealed with a tender kiss to each of the women, yet his unwavering gaze remained locked with yours. He was aware of your watchful gaze and took the opportunity to playfully tease you.

They dispersed into the solace of their individual chambers, melting into the shadows. While maintaining a facade of attention towards the television, he covertly tracked their movements until he was certain of your seclusion. Then, he turned toward you, a silent entreaty woven into the language of his gaze, beckoning you closer as if the very essence of his being yearned for your nearness.

“Come here,” he murmurs, gesturing with his raised arm to offer you space beside him.

You edged closer to his inviting warmth, shifting on the couch to draw nearer. The instant you nestled against him, his embrace enveloped you. His fingertips ventured down your back, making tender contact with your skin, a delicate dance of caresses. Nestled comfortably against him, your head found a cozy perch upon his shoulder, basking in the tenderness of his touch. His actions lulled you, evoking a melting sensation within.

“What's runnin' through that head of yours, darlin' ?” he murmurs in your direction.

The gentle strokes ceased. His hand settled on the curve of your lower back, doing nothing more but imprinting an imperceptible memory of his tender touch upon your skin. Negan's actions seemed deliberate, as if he sought to ignite a response within you, desiring to witness your own initiative, rather than taking the lead himself. In his ideal scenario, your body would have already be over his, seeking warmth. He harbored vivid images of it, yearning for what he'd envisioned on countless evenings.

“I don't know,” you exhaled, your words barely audible, your gaze unwaveringly locked with his. “About everything, and nothing at all.”

“I'll be damned, sweetheart,” he breathed, his voice a velvety rasp, “Uncertainty can be a wicked thing, can't it ? Everything and yet nothin', all wrapped up in one pretty package.”

The TV volume remained low, affording him the chance to catch any stray sounds. He was vigilant, ever mindful of his wives who, despite retiring to their rooms, could unexpectedly intrude at any instant. Negan wasn't particularly concerned about being caught in a passionate liaison with a woman ; if it were solely up to him, he'd fuck you right there on the balcony in front of everyone, demonstrating to all that you belonged to him. But it was more for your sake that he wished to avoid it — he knew you probably wouldn't want to be seen sharing sex with him.

A hush settled in the room as you rose, resting your hand on his chest. Your heart stubbornly refused to slow down while the background movie appeared to have lost its significance. Your gaze fixated on Negan's figure, captivated by the intensity of his dark, engulfing eyes.

“You need to stop giving me that look, Negan,” you stated.

“I can't help it if you bring out that look in me, sweetheart,” he replied, his lips curved in a smirk.

Slowly, your eyes traced his features, observing every detail from his lashes to the salt and pepper shade of his beard. Perching up on your knees, you take a careful glance around the room to make sure there was no one there. Assured of the privacy, you descended slowly, draping a leg over his, finally settling atop him, your breaths growing unsteady.

“You look like you're about to devour me on the spot,” you exhaled, sensing his body tensing beneath you.

“Well, babydoll, can't blame you for feeling a little nervous with ol' Negan here.”

His gaze narrowed, intensifying as curiosity and amusement danced within his eyes. Eager to discover the path of your actions, he deliberately halted even the subtlest of gestures toward you. And his anticipation was met. You placed your hands on each side of his shoulders, the contact of your pelvis against his eliciting a gasp of your mouth.

“Negan, I— Oh, for fuck's sake…” you blurt out, leaning in, nearly pressing against him.

“Seems cat's got someone's tongue, huh,” Negan chuckles, softly grazing your chin with his gloved hand.

Flushed with heat, you gently traced your fingers along his pristine white t-shirt, tucking the edges to sense his warmth against your fingers. Surprisingly, your boldness seemed to gratify him. Without delay, his hands found their way to your thighs, embracing your skin before gliding down to your hips, drawing you nearer. He bent his legs, pulling you close as possible, as if ensnaring you within his desires.

“Mhmm, that's it, keep it up, sweetheart. Just. Like. That.” his raspy voice growled.

The tension between you amplified with the gentle touch of his fingers caressing your skin, accompanied by his satisfied, teasing smile. Swiftly, he seizes your face, drawing you in for a direct and passionate kiss. Your lips eagerly met his, an urgent yearning manifesting as if they had craved this union for an eternity.

Enthralled by the passion conveyed in that kiss, he reasserted his hold on your hips, drawing the weight of your pelvis closer to his in an almost covetous manner. Every inch of your body responded to the fervor. Suppressing his profound yearnings for so long, he yielded, allowing his hands to trail along your curves. A sigh slipped from your lips at the sensation. His touch ventured beneath the fabric of your shorts, grasping your ass firmly. His action was almost too abrupt, considering how controlled it had been until now.

You were no longer the master of your actions, a mere observer of your own surrender. Unable to resist any longer, you yielded to the urge, shedding your suffocating sweater in a desperate attempt to ease the fire consuming your body. It seemed unbelievable that such a scene was unfolding, you that fighting valiantly against the tide of temptation, determined not to succumb.

Your breath mirrored his, swift and erratic, as your hands slipped beneath his t-shirt. Your fingers, curious and explorative, roamed across his skin, entwining in the few hairs as if seeking to uncover every secret of this uncharted territory.

Your lips sought out his cheek, trailing a series of kisses along the contour of his jaw. A soft sigh escaped you at the tantalizing touch of his beard against your lips, and you closed your eyes, imagining the sensation of it grazing between your thighs. The journey of kisses halted upon reaching the hollow of his neck. Gazing up at him, your eyes deepened with a smoldering intensity, betraying the fervent desire coursing through you.

“Doll, staring at me like that makes me as hard as a rock,” Negan teases, a sly grin dancing on his face.

“Oh, hush.”

Your tongue lazely passed over your lips as your sweater cascaded to the wayside. An almost involuntary movement drew your pelvis toward a search for friction, yearning to stoke the burgeoning flame deep within. Negan's hand clasped your jaw, a means of asserting dominance. He seized your lips in an intense kiss as you sought another after removing your sweater — an interlude far too fleeting for his taste to let it end there.

Having severed the kiss, having imbued it with the bittersweet flavor of his longing, he gently drew you back, his hand anchored to your face. In the subdued room, his gaze nearly disclosed a hint of regret for not being able to explore the contour of your chest more intimately. He indulged in the delight of relishing a closer sensation by letting his fingers glide from your neck to the delicate curve of one of your breasts, tenderly caressing it.

"Damn, babydoll, look at you. So damn sexy," Negan rumbled in a husky tone, his words carrying a mix of admiration and appreciation for what he was seeing — what he was feeling.

In the pursuit of evoking a reaction from your body, he persisted in his caress, his index finger accompanied by his middle finger captivating the tip of your mound to make it harden further. Allowing his lips to envelop your flesh button, he began to gently suckle, his hand cupping and kneading your second breast while his other hand glided down your back, drawing you nearer to him, as if such closeness were even possible. Simultaneously, he urged you to continue the friction that your pelvis created against his, while beneath the thick fabric of his gray trousers, his growing member was already palpable.

You sensed your heart pounding against your chest, sending tremors through your entire being. The passion ignited such a fervor, inducing a wetness between your thighs that heightened with each subtle motion against his bulge. As he worked on the first reddened mound, he shifted his attention to the second, prolonging the intimacy without breaking away. His hand, departing from the comforting warmth of your skin, ventured further, becoming more invasive as it found its place between your thighs.

You let out a soft sigh as his hands grazed your fevered skin. In touch with the cloth of your shorts, he effortlessly detected your moisture with a gentle, deliberate press. His smile brushed against your skin, teasing your hardening bud as he intensified the caress of his fingers against your welcoming depths, eliciting you a moan that sent shivers down his spine.

“So fucking wet for me,” he murmurs huskily, his words brushing against your skin.

Each shift of your body against his made you acutely aware of his hardness pressing against your lower abdomen, igniting vivid, consuming thoughts. His words and the sensations from his hands evoked a swarm of butterflies in your chest.

Passionate, moist kisses lingered on your lips, easing your sighs into delicate moans. Struggling to keep your responses in check, aiming not to draw the attention of his wives — who, you prayed, were sound asleep in their chambers, only served to heighten your fevered state. As the kisses deepened, you glanced down to witness the unfolding intimacy between you. The sensation was wet and intoxicating, a feeling you adored, yet it failed to satiate your longing ; you craved more, like an ache that consumed you.

Once more, your hands ventured under his t-shirt, gradually raising it to uncover his tonic abdomen amidst the subdued light of the television. As your hands glided around him, ascending his back to help disrobe him, your hips resumed their movement, driven by the burgeoning passion stirring within you.

You let out a hiss as your thighs quivered around him, feeling the discomfort of your shorts. Using your fingertips, you eventually made it to the edge of his pants, playfully tugging them down intermittently while seeking his approval through eye contact.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Negan exhaled deeply, smirking against your jaw.

He snarled and moved aside your damp underwear. Your desires were explicit, needing no further communication for him to comprehend your needs. He grazed his finger along your sensitive areas, savoring the sounds escaping your lips. Sensing your hands clutching his shoulders, he starts tracing circular motions around your nerve bundle, causing you to writhe on top of him.

“W-Wait,” you managed to say, widening your eyes, a surge of pleasure building as he persisted.

“Shh, let me take care of you. Cum for me,” he responded, prompting your release against his hand. “You're doing so well, sweetheart,” he praised you.

He lapped at your juices greedily on his fingers, revealing in the taste of your arousal. Encircling his arm around your delicate form, he effortlessly maneuvered to switch your positions, laying you on your side. You yielded without protest, sinking into the cushioned comfort of the sofa.

Leaning against the cushions with one arm, he stood tall above you and leaned in for a passionate kiss, his other hand swiftly pulling away the last garment covering your body, exposing you to the open air. Without needing assistance, he tore away your panties and eager to remove his own pants and boxers, freeing himself.

As you shared a kiss, he momentarily paused to collect saliva on his hand, which he used to moisten himself, locking eyes with you intensely. There was no turning back for both of you.

“Negan,” you gasp, a fervent ache consuming you.

“Use your words, darling. I want to hear you beg me,” he demands.

“Negan, please… I want you so bad,” you murmur in a quivering, warm tone near his ear, your eyes growing heavier as your bodies press together.

Grasping his girth, he glides it along your folds, teasing before exerting pressure to breach your intimacy. A guttural sound escapes his throat as he leans back, relishing the feeling of penetrating you. Despite the discomfort, you tremble, releasing a stifled moan as he tantalizes your wetness with his thumb. Retracting, he positions himself on his knees, guiding his member with a few deliberate movements.

Clasping your thighs firmly, he drew you nearer by lifting your knees towards his chest, seeking better access to your intimacy. His thumb moistened your entrance with your own secretions before he tease you with the head of his cock. He shifted above you, covering your lips with his own to stifle your sounds as he smoothly entered you, his pelvis slamming against yours.

Your chest rose and fell in sync with your racing heartbeat as your fingers gently wandered through the tangle of his dark locks at the back of his head. The tension surrounding you was so consuming that you lost awareness of your surroundings and any potential consequences of your actions.

When you sensed his entrance, your body instinctively arched and stiffened. Your face tensed as you tried to adjust to this new sensation. Gradually, you acclimated to his presence, and in a suggestive move, you raised your hips, wrapping your legs around his waist, signaling your desire for him to continue.

Gripping the sofa, he lifted your face abruptly, stifling a deep groan that resonated in his throat. The way your body arched upon his possession, the tightening of your flesh around him, heightened the rush of blood in his veins. Slowly, he eased into a series of gentle pelvic movements.

It was a captivating sight, leaving you breathless as you finally sensed his motion inside you. A thin film of sweat adorned your skin, and the heat brought a flush to your face, framed by damp strands of hair. Negan couldn't help but marvel at how perfect you looked in that moment — like a goddess who had descended from the heavens just for him.

His movements were restrained, as he aimed to find more space, all the while displaying a sense of self-control. This tenderness was not typical of his character. However, when Negan lifted his gaze to study your expressions and the fervor they revealed, he permitted himself to quicken his pace. Beginning softly and then progressively intensifying, causing your body to shift beneath him. His hand turned to silence your mouth, and his grunts intensified in your ear.

“You feel so good,” he moaned between a few strokes.

The manner in which his pelvis met yours left no room for evasion. This subtle motion that swept you along drove you to the edge, even though it was merely the start. You ultimately found the delight, the one veiled within your unspoken desires, beneath your garments, in the recesses of your intimacy. Each of your cries was subdued, to avoid raising any doubts and the movie, its credits scrolling on the screen, was no longer a cover for you.

“Tell me. Tell me you fucking belong to me, dollface,” he murmured, planting kisses along your collarbone before biting your earlobe, leaning in as he demanded, “Say it.”

“Fuck—,” you muttered, turning your face to meet his gaze.

You found yourself laughing nervously at every motion, electrified by the exquisite sensations that regularly coursed through you. Your legs clung to him while your hands had sought solace on his back. Your body quivered and molded around his larger frame.

“Say it,” he insisted, picking up his speed, surpassing the intensity he'd shown before.

“Yours. Only yours !” you gasped as you sensed him accelerating, feeling your muscles tightening around him.

“Abso-fucking-lutely. All mine,” he snarled, his voice dripping like honey.

A hush enveloped the surroundings, broken only by the rhythmic sounds of flesh meeting and the partially muted expressions of pleasure that conveyed the intense experience shared between you — and the need to stifle the impending cries pulsating within you nearly propelled you over the edge. Consumed by the moment, you disregarded any concerns about potential listeners, focusing solely on the overwhelming sensation that enveloped you.

A knot formed within you as a distant door creaked open, signifying the departure of one of Negan's wives from her room. The mere idea prompted you to stiffen. But Negan firmly held your hips, intensifying his pace, propelling you closer to the brink of climax.

“Hold on, there's somebody,” you gasp, confused by Negan's apparent indifference.

“It ain't an issue if there's company,” he declares, forcefully driving his hips against you.

“Negan I'm—,” you cursed, your hips rising to enhance the skin-to-skin connection. Your head arched backward, immersing you in a profound trance.

“Cum for me, baby,” he groaned, his voice husky with desire. “Show me how much you want it.”

Intense pleasure courses through your veins, compelling you to grasp his hair and arch your hips to meet his movements. His hold on your hips tightens like that of a ravenous creature, and you knew you would be bruised the next day, but in that moment, it doesn't matter.

Negan glided a hand down, teasing and stimulating your most sensitive spot with his thumb, propelling you closer to your next climax. The noises coming out of your throat as you came were the sexiest sounds he had ever heard and damn, it driving him wild. It's with one last powerful push, he poured himself into you, your bodies entwined in a dance of passion and desire.

“Fuck fuck fuuuck,” he spat, shutting his eyes.

He fell onto you, utterly drained. You both remained intertwined, allowing your still-warm bodies to linger in a comfortable silence. As you slowly regained awareness, the sound of the door closing snapped you out of your daze, and you were suddenly struck by the reality of the situation. Sensing your movement beneath him, Negan slowly rose, propping himself up with one arm.

“Did you just— ?” you halted, sensing a chilling atmosphere enveloping your core when Negan withdrew from you, appearing as bewildered as you felt.

“I didn't mean to. You made it hard for me with all this damn mess,” he breath. He seemed to hold himself responsible, hoping this error hadn't disrupted the beginning of your relationship. Truth be told, sleeping with you was a significant move in his plan to have you entirely for himself.

You fall into a moment of silence, still slightly affected by the intensity of your lovemaking. As you both prepare to dress, Negan, clad only in his boxers, catches your attempt to glance around the room. Interrupting, he requests you an another, gentler kiss. You find yourself smiling in the midst of this tender moment, momentarily forgetting your worries. Eventually, you begin to reassess your choice about joining his group of wives…

Maybe you should think about it again.

A/N : Thanks for reading ! And sorry for any grammatical or other mistakes, English is not my first language. If you have any fanfic requests regarding Jeffrey's characters, please feel free to ask — I'd be happy to write them for you <3

[si11yw0rm]

ghost drabbles #1 (words)

blurb: ghost and you have had a complicated relationship. but one night in the kitchen changes everything between the two of you.

tags: gender-neutral reader, dirty talk, use of doll, baby, and love, dual switching (you would understand when you see it)

wordcount: 2k+

note: worm is tired. if you see this, please make them smile by leaving comments about what you thought. (please, i am typing this from a hospital bed, anything but the doctors saying bs would make me happy)

but i do wanna finish the Kinktober fics and reedit them and probably put out a part two to this, we would see. until we meet again, i shall slink back to my cave.

mdni x fic under the cut.

Ghost was not a very vocal man. Everyone on the base knew that. You knew how silent he could be, even better than anyone else. He had made sure of that.

You stirred the cup of hot chocolate, shaking your head a little. It was one of the reasons you were instantly drawn to him. You were a fan of silence, just like he was. 

Sometimes, words weren't necessary.

Your relationship with Ghost was a tricky one.

When Captain Price introduced you to the crew the first time you had landed on base, you knew he didn't like you straightaway.

For someone so silent, his eyes could be widely expressive. 

Ghost never sought you out, and you respected his wishes and kept out of his way.

And it worked until that one night.

The single night that changed you both forever.

 The roof was open to anyone, but for some weird reason, you didn't expect Ghost to be the person to climb up your spot and find you that night.  

You knew he was surprised to find you there staring at the stars because even in the darkness of that night, you could see his hesitation.  

But he had stayed, and it was a silent agreement that it would be routine. 

And it was. 

Except for where you both went on missions and Price took the team out for drinks, your two souls always found yourselves on the roof every night. 

Not saying anything. 

Just breathing and existing in the same space. 

Till you broke the silence one night, and by some miraculous intervention, he had answered. 

You knew it wasn't right. 

Sneaking behind the other members' backs. Especially Price. 

But for some reason, you couldn't care. 

And you knew the Lieutenant didn't either. 

You nearly spilt the beverage over your fingers as you remembered how he had stared at you last night, his eyes saying everything and nothing all at once.

You knew it was cowardly to avoid going to the rooftop tonight, but you couldn't see yourself facing him. 

Then you heard a cough.

It was unmistakably him. 

You weren't surprised you hadn't heard him moving, but as you turned around, you froze when you saw him standing in the doorway.

Ghost couldn't believe his luck. When he hadn't seen you tonight, he had nearly pulled his gun on himself. 

But here you were, standing directly in front of him, looking like his every fantasy just come to life, and he just knew.

He had to get the words out. He had to. 

They were clawing at his throat. 

He could practically feel them burning a hole in his chest. 

He cleared his throat, grabbing the bottom of his mask, and tugged it downwards before stepping closer. 

You looked so sad and heartbroken that he could feel his cold heart moving around funny in his chest.

"I lied." It was a stupid way to start, and he knew it. 

Your eyes narrowed, and he could see the anger simmering in them.

You had every right to be angry. 

And fuck, if he didn't want to fuck it out of you.  

"What?" You hissed the word out, folding your arms, and fuck him, but he couldn't stop his hands from dropping to your chest. 

You didn't look at him as you hissed again, grabbing the cup off the counter. He could bet that you wanted to dunk it over his head.

"What do you mean you lied, Riley?" 

He knew you were mad when you called him that. 

He was always Lieutenant. 

You always called him that during your missions together over the comms. 

Fuck, now that he thought of it, you mostly referred to him as lieutenant. 

And he knew it was most definitely out of necessity.

But on the rarest occasions that you were happy with him, you called him Simon, and he let you. 

Because he had never met anyone that captivated him as much as you did. 

So yes, in hindsight, you should be mad.

Because it was one of your rules. 

Never lie. 

Lie to everyone but each other.

But Christ, he was a sick bastard because as he looked at you now, he finally understood what Price meant by you being a force of nature.

He was in awe of you. 

Which also terrified the hell out of him too.

His brain reminded him that he had said that before, but he couldn't find it in him to begin to actually care. 

"I lied. When you asked me if I thought about you." 

Oh, he did.

In the nights when you both denied yourself what could be the most divine bliss.

He did. 

During breakfast.

During lunch.

During dinner. 

And after your rooftop nights, when he was alone in his dorm, that was when he couldn't help himself.

He was in over his head. 

So much so it was both fascinating and terrifying. You should be scared of what he could do to you if you just gave him your consent. 

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes got that hazy look in them. 

The look you always had when your mind went south. Ghost knew you didn't realize it, but he could always read you like a book.

A book he was becoming fast obsessed with.

"So you think about me?" Your voice was hesitant, and he nearly laughed. 

You couldn't be that clueless, considering everyone on base already knew he more than liked you.

He released his breath through his teeth, shaking his head. "You have no idea, love." 

He knew what you were going to say before you even said it.

"Tell me. Let me in, Simon. Please." 

His head lifted, and he saw the pleading in your eyes. He hissed through his teeth, holding his head in his hands. 

He couldn't bear to look at you. He knew you liked it the way he did. 

So what was holding him back?

You sighed, and Ghost could hear that telltale disappointment lining your voice.

The unspoken one you had every time he couldn't voice out his emotions. 

You shook your head slowly and shook your head, holding your cup to your chest before dropping back on the counter. "It's okay, Ghost." 

But Ghost couldn't let you leave without telling you. 

He grabbed your arm and tugged you around until you were staring at him, your eyes both sad and understanding. It tore a hole through him.

His hands slid up your arm, coming to rest on your cheek. Even through the glove he was wearing, you could feel his hand burning against your skin. 

He leaned closer, his lips brushing your neck as his hand dropped from your cheek to slip around your waist. 

"I...I want you. I think about you." His voice was uncertain at first, but the conviction in them had you freezing.

"Every hour. Every minute. Every day. God, love. You have me burning me up inside." 

You felt your breath shudder through your lungs, and Ghost leaned away, staring at your lips. He was staring at them like he suddenly wanted to put something inside. 

"I...I think about you. On your knees. In my bed. Everywhere." You couldn't control how fast your breath was coming out of your lungs like you weren't getting enough air in your lungs.

You knew what it meant. The exact cause of your reaction came from childhood trauma you refused to unpack. But you saw the precise minute that Ghost's eyes widened with realization. 

Ghost couldn't believe his luck. His little brat was a word slut.

You, who blushed and shied away from looking anyone in the eye during briefings, loved someone looking at you and talking you through it. 

And knowing it had the knot in his tongue loosening. 

He stepped closer, pinning you against the counter, his hands resting on the counter behind you.

"I think of touching you under the table, especially when we have briefings together."

What was it with him and your briefings? God, he was so far gone. 

He had always wondered why Price gave him an unreadable look after briefings, but now he understood. 

He must have been staring.

His hands left the counter, coming under your thighs to grab you off the ground and drop you on the counter, his hands shifting to spread your thighs apart. 

"I think of grabbing you by the throat and giving you something to choke on. I think of spreading your thighs apart and fucking drowning you, baby. You have no idea."

You weren't sure if you were still breathing normally, and you could feel your head swimming. Somehow, the look of pure desire burning in his eyes was just as dangerous as his words.

Because this was Simon.

"And I think of you blowing me while you are under my table, and it's our little secret." 

His hands slid up your jaw, and his thumb parted your lips, sliding inside your mouth. You didn't think twice before wrapping your lips around it.

Ghost smiled. "You know when you walked into my office that night to grab the files Price asked about?" 

You nodded, and when your eyes shuttered, Ghost knew you hadn't realized that you were purring softly. 

"Afterwards, my office smelt like you so much I was sure I had nearly gone mad." 

"You hide your feelings well." You whispered, your lips still around his thumb. Your eyes were half closed, and you were practically resting your cheek on his palm.

"I was scared."

Your eyes snapped open, and you blinked slowly, smiling at him. "Are you scared now?"

"Yes." He decided to keep it short.

You let go of his thumb, pulling him closer by wrapping your legs around his hips. He stalled himself from connecting your groins together by slamming his hand on the counter.

You smiled, and Ghost knew whatever you had planned was going to be the death of him. 

"That undercover party that Price sent us on. The one where I wore the bunny outfit. You seemed pissed after Soap made a barrack bunny joke. What were you thinking?"

He wanted to say he didn't know what the fuck you were talking about, but he did. 

It was one of the nights he couldn't stop replaying in his head.

"You mean the night where you kept talking sass and outrightly disobeyed me? And then got yourself in trouble. Like I fucking warned you it would? Is that the night you are talking about, doll?" 

You opened your mouth to talk, but Ghost suddenly had a lot to say and it was all coming out.

"God, when you bent over answering that man. It was all I could think about. Spanking you. You were literally begging for it, doll." 

"Wha-What?"

"It made me a sick and twisted man, but Jesus. I wanted to spank your ass red for letting him touch you."

"Oh yeah? You are fucking hypocrite, Ghost. Because you ran out like you couldn't wait to move away from me fast enough." 

Ghost knew you well enough to know you were teasing. You were poking him. Seeing how far you could take him before he snapped, but lucky for you, he was feeling generous.

"Say what you want, baby." 

"Touch me. Like you do in your thoughts. Just once. I need in, Simon. Please."

The Simon was his kryptonite.

He laughed, pushing you back against the counter as his hands dipped down your stomach, lifting your shirt enough to expose your belly.

You held your breath as his hands dipped lower, and he tsked, his fingers brushing against you so suddenly that your back arched off the counter.

What was it about him that made you feel things so intensely?

"You are such a little whore, baby. Look at you. Dripping. And I haven't even touched you yet." 

His hand came up to cover your eyes, and you heard rustling before you finally felt his breath ghost your nose. 

He had taken off his mask.

"Simon..."

His lips nuzzled your nose before kissing a path down your jaw, deliberately avoiding your lips. "Keep saying my name, baby."

His fingers were sliding up your waist, inching your shirt higher, and coming to rest directly under your nipple.

"Simon..."

"That's it. Who's touching you?" His voice had gotten so rough and deep it was like it was vibrating through you, leaving you wrung out and breathless with desire. 

"Simon is."

"That's right, baby." His hand lifted off your eyes suddenly, and you saw a flash of a sharp jawline before he yanked your shirt so far up that he could pull it over your head.

"Can you breathe through the cotton?" You saw his silhouette hovering over you, but you could barely make out his features. You also noticed that he had only pulled the mask halfway up his face.

"Yeah." 

"Perfect, baby. Now, try not to scream."

[fanmoose12]

“Petra fancies you.”

So abrupt and indelicate – what else should Levi expect from his own personal cause of headache, Hange Zoe? Well, if he was being honest with himself, he fully expected that by now she’d already get on top of the table in the center of the cafeteria and start what only she can classify as dancing. That’s what she usually does when she has as much alcohol as Levi had noticed she’d consumed tonight.

But, apparently, that course of action has gotten a bit too boring and predictable for Hange’s ever-changing tastes.

So, now she decides to pester him of all people.

Levi isn’t so easy to pester, though, so he does the most logical thing one can in such a predicament – he does his best to ignore Hange’s presence entirely. He stares resolutely into his own cup of piss that people around here deem good enough to call beer, and hopes that Hange would get bored of him and his silence swiftly and move onwards to find another victim.

That, however, doesn’t happen.

Hange doesn’t bulge, as though she had been glued to the chair right beside him, and she stares. Intently. Levi can practically feel the force of that stare on the back of his head.

And when it becomes too unbearable even for him, he sighs, shifts a bit in his seat, tilts his head upwards to meet Hange’s eyes and asks a pointless, “What?”

Giddy that her ruse had worked, Hange moves closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. She does so without his consent, without so much as mumbling a question. She invades his personal space like it isn’t much of an obstacle to her, like for her - it does not even exist. She always does it, and for some reason that Levi fears to find – he always lets her.

And Hange’s insolence, unfortunately, does not stop there. No, it grows, evolves, and so she gets even closer, and before Levi can utter a single sound of protest or, at least, throw at her a dirty look that will prove to be absolutely useless against her lack of manners, she unceremoniously, downright shamelessly, throws her legs onto his lap.  

“Petra,” she whispers, embracing him with both the retching stench of beer and intoxicating heat of her body, “fancies you.”

Levi stays put – against his better judgment, despite all the warnings that are blasting in his head louder than the bells that announce the opening of gates that lead to the dangers of the world beyond the walls. He doesn’t kick Hange, doesn’t even curse, he stays put – because he has to. Because otherwise Hange’ll think him weak. Or, worse, she’ll get ideas, funny ones. And, clearly, she has too many of them already.

“And you know this how?” he asks, again – against his better judgment.

Hange throws her head back and laughs – loudly, and, Levi thinks, a bit wickedly.

“Because I have eyes, silly. And only a blind would miss the looks she constantly throws at you. Gods, the girl wants you to devour her. Or, maybe, she intends on doing the devouring—”

The thought, the mental image that Hange so effectively painted in his head stirs an unpleasant feeling in Levi. His insides churn uncomfortably, like he’s about to puke. The thought is… a troubling one. Petra is a nice girl, a pretty one, there is absolutely no denying that. One, as Hange had put it, would have to be completely blind not to know that. And, despite what some may say about him, Levi, in fact, is not blind to the appearances of others.

However, viewing Petra in that particular regard has never occurred to him. Not even once has it crossed his mind.

Petra is a member of his squad, she’s his subordinate, she’s someone that he was entrusted to teach, guide and – if possible – protect. That is his duty, one he tries very hard to fulfill. And, no matter how beautiful she is, he can’t see her as anyone else, rather than his subordinate.

“Aww,” Hange places her head on his shoulder, and steals his cup, taking a generous sip from it, while Levi is too busy debating his next move. Should he be the responsible one, throw the drunken idiot over his shoulder and carry that embarrassment back to her room before she makes an even bigger fool out of herself, or should he simply kick her down to the floor and leave before she manages to stand up straight enough to follow after him? “You don’t like her?”

Levi doesn’t give an answer, although it seems that Hange doesn’t actually need one. She takes another gulp of beer, puts the cup back down on the table with enough force that the table rattles and the liquid splashes all around, and launches into a rant that is surprisingly passionate – especially considering that its subject has nothing to do with her beloved Titans.

“Why don’t you like Petra back? She is amazing! Kind, and smart, and cute, and skilled, and so, so graceful! Honestly, among all of our comrades, she’s like an angel, an actual ray of light amidst all these horrors! Most would kill to get us lucky as you are!”

“So why are you still here?” Levi drawls, glancing at Hange from the corner of his eyes. She looks absolutely wild – with cheeks flashed, glasses askew and practically slipping down her nose and hair in more state of disarray than Levi ever remembers seeing. Hange is a mess personified, a compilation of everything Levi despises combined in one single person, and yet – for some reason, he finds that he cannot find the strength to look away from the radiant spectacle in front of him. “If you like her so, why sit here with me, if you can go and woo her?”

“I just told you! She sees no one but you. And besides,” Hange’s voice grows quiet, her whole demeanor dims, becomes more timid, as her cheeks get just a bit redder than before and she mumbles, “She’s not really my type, you know?”

“Hm,” Levi nods, and – because teasing can go both ways, and, that, without a doubt, what Hange absolutely deserves for all her mocking – adds. “You must really not like her then.”

“Eh? Why would you say that? Just because I don’t like her in that way, I—”

“Because you sit here,” Levi says, interrupting what almost surely would have turned into another infuriating word vomit. “Practically draped all over me, while Petra is in the very same room. What would she think when she sees us like that, huh?”

Hange opens her mouth, blinks a few times, her gaze rapidly shifting between Levi’s face and the corner that Petra and other members of his squad are occupying. She looks so damn clueless in that moment, in equal parts confused and ashamed that Levi can’t help but revel in the lost expression on her face.

Not many are able to stun Hange Zoe into silence, after all.

“Oh… I… I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah, you’re shit at this kind of thing.”

Hange begins to pull away, nearly gets to her feet – or, well, at least, she tries to. Levi doesn’t let her, though, and instead wraps an arm around her waist, bringing her even closer to him. Hange doesn’t try to wiggle out of his hold, and – strangely – doesn’t even comment on their rather curious position. She stays still and silent, absorbed in thought.

Whatever it is that’s going through her genius mind right now, Levi doesn’t particularly wish to know.

Hange is quiet, Hange was beaten at her own game by none other than him, and what’s most important – she’s right next to him, wrapped securely in the circle of his arms.

Levi can’t help but enjoy it, delight in this brief moment of peace. It’s not often that life grants him a chance to taste what real joy feels like.

But it’s Hange fucking Zoe that is with him. So, naturally, that peace is laughably short-lived.

She starts squirming, but not with intent to leave, as Levi immediately begins to fear. Instead, she just tilts her face up and searches for his eyes, holding his gaze, when she finds them.

“Say, Levi,” she begins in a tone that can – and definitely does – mean trouble. “If you weren’t sitting with me right now, but, let’s say, with Petra, would you still—”

Levi clicks his tongue and cuts Hange off before this nonsense goes far enough to ruin the moment entirely.

“Shut up, four-eyes,” he grunts curtly, but – without even a hint of malice that his words intended. “Let’s just… stay like this. Preferably, in silence.”

As much as he enjoys the sound of her voice – and he does, although he’d never admit it to her face, there is enough ruckus in the room without Hange’s insistent blabbering adding to the chaos.

She throws a curious look at him, but, thankfully, doesn’t argue. She snuggles closer to him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

Levi swallows a content sigh. This… this feels nice.

Whatever is that type that Hange had mentioned, he isn’t sure he has one. But what he’s absolutely sure of is that he likes this – having Hange so close to him that he can feel the warmth radiating from her body. Even the smell of sweat she hasn’t washed off for god knows how long and the inescapable stench of beer that hangs all over her like a particularly nasty cloud cannot sour this moment for Levi. And if it were Petra in her place, or Nifa, Nanaba, Mike, or any other man or woman, Levi is sure none of them could make him feel so warm, so at peace with just their presence.

“Someday,” Hange murmurs, as she absentmindedly picks at the fabric of his shirt. She sounds sleepy, Levi can’t help but note. It seems like he’ll have no choice but carry her to her room, after all. But – later, just a bit later. This moment is way too precious for him to cut it off so soon. “We’ll have to talk about—” Hange gestures vaguely – “this whole thing. But – not today. Not when I’m so drunk. I want,” she looks up again, meeting his eyes with a smile that snatches Levi’s breath right out of his lungs, “to be sober when I say this to you. I want to remember how your face looks when you hear it.”

What is that thing that Hange to say to him? What is it that she so badly wants him to hear?

Whatever it is, Levi wants Hange to say it. He wants to hear it. And – there are some things he needs to tell Hange too. Things – that for now – he’s afraid to reveal even to himself.

And when – or if – the time for such confessions will come, he wants to remember Hange’s face too. Down to every detail.

But now, it’s not the time to ponder on such things. Now, he has a drunken idiot he needs to take care of.

So with a sigh, Levi raises to his feet, lifting Hange along with him, not letting go of her even for a second.

After all, where would he be without his ridiculous four-eyes?

[yuseirra]

ch160...again

I know none of you here would be doing this but I burst out laughing this morning out of.. how absurd some of the reactions were oh my god....

I don’t really look at other people’s reactions much because it stresses me out, but I did come across a few Youtube thumbnails while skimming through, you see? There's been a lot :/

I really don’t know if I’m watching the same piece of work with them!!!

Like, seriously, let's just sit down and think for a moment.

If seeing a toothbrush lights up the flame of madness in someone, isn’t that person the creepy one, not Kamiki?

I mean, how does someone’s expression darken just because they see a toothbrush? Is that a joke? I can get Nino despairing or getting swayed that way because she encountered her boyfriend's death (seriously, why date Ryosuke out of all people? He's trash!! Why Nino WHY??), but Ryosuke? He’s clearly not in his right mind. Think about it.

Ryosuke is seriously a creepy person. He goes to Kamiki’s house, sees two toothbrushes, and one of them is labeled “Ai’s ♥” — then his face turns pale like he's encountered some kind of nightmare. Is that normal?? I want him gone. That's a stalker too close to home, it gets on my nerves. what makes him be that way?

Please, think about it... Please... this is so absurd to the point it's funny, I can’t take it anymore. What is this? Are we even watching the same piece? This is ridiculous

The guy kept talking about how much he missed his ex-girlfriend. And that... that’s what became the motive for Nino and Ryosuke to kill someone and attempt murder. Hey, which side would be the crazy ones if you had to pick a side?

Aqua might bring more evidence regarding Yura in the next chapter of something, and if at that point it turns out, “Wow, he was the mastermind all along,” I can understand that.

But right now, with just this, you’re telling me Kamiki's incited people’s madness and deliberately stirred up their emotions to make them into killers or whatever?

Does this make sense? Does that even sound reasonable? To me, it’s satirizing the obsessive madness surrounding idols. Isn’t it? Because there really are people who stalk idols and do creepy things. Ryosuke couldn’t stand the fact that the idol he adored had a boyfriend, so he resorted to harming her being the malicious stalker he was. And Nino? She’s like one of those crazy fans who attack other idols because they’re more popular than the one she stans. That’s what this is a metaphor for. It’s absurd. Do people actually interpret it literally? Kamiki is right. He did nothing.

Let’s reflect on this from an ethical perspective. Even if this were a real situation, would you take everything at face value? I hope not. I hope you don’t think any of this was justified. No, look, the visions Aqua brought was definitely a gag. It was meant to be funny. How does Ryosuke, who’s nobody, pale at the sight of someone’s toothbrush in the same cup as their boyfriend’s? He’s seriously a strange person!! If someone had caught onto this earlier, Ai wouldn’t have died! Someone should have reported him to the police when he showed these signs but he hid his true colors so well huh? What an unfortunate thing to have happened. He shouldn't have existed. There is no need for a person like him to exist in this world.

Aqua, please get a grip. Make some sense. Please... This is making me angry.

I'm not defending your father because I favor him, he HAS to pay if he's done wrong; but you really can’t justify this. It’s stressing me out so much I think I’m going crazy. If this is all you have for you confront your father and aim a knife at him to tell him to get lost, it’s not enough. This comic seriously gives me a headache.

Kamiki is just too pitiful... yeah, the guy really is a sad figure.

When Ai herself said she wished someone would help him, the outcome has been set in stone.

The problem is how to get to the outcome, but the answer is already there. That’s how I jumped in with conviction. This is where the story will head regarding that man.

This person deserves to be saved.

But how in the world are they supposed to be saved? I have no idea... They will though. I wasn't very good with predicting the little details that'd lead to the outcomes, but I've always been right about the conclusions, regarding this manga.

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Random Synastry observations: partly based on my personal experience part 2

Mars trine venus: I love this aspect because the (physical) attraction is just there and it can, opposed to most aspects of attraction, grow steadily more powerful overtime. If you neglect it or cut the relationship off, it will not ‘fade’ or result in brooding tension that blows up in your face, it will simply become dormant. It’s always there. This aspect is a bit underrated, because it doesn’t represent the racey combination of most mars and venus aspects. The ideal example of this aspect is an end-game couple in a sitcom. ‘They’ve always been attracted to each other’, ‘they’re a couple now, funny jokes about their sexy time’, ‘they broke up and ~stayed friends but the attraction of course is still there~, still nothing to worry about or upset the plot for~~’ ‘okay one night then for a special episode’ ‘oh goshh what will these non-erratic people do now!!1!’ and then they realise the other was ~the one~ all along and, after an elaborate first two seasons for the audience to warm up to the match, the writers realised the audience was of course shipping them from day one, because the characters are just so compatible and have such good wholesome chemistry it’s too plain to see.

Lilith conjunct ascendant: Personal taste! I like it when someone’s presence and manner of physically existing seems to suit someone’s dark side so much, that that person can’t stop thinking about that someone. Morning noon and night- lilith is like an imprinter here. This aspect can definitely ruin marriages if the man’s lilith tightly conjuncts another woman’s rising. Think lindsey buckingham obsessively brooding over stevie nicks for almost 50 years. On one hand, ascendant can feel not embraced, but as if an interesting, ~dark~ but somehow pleasant liquid is literally ‘taking’ them. On the other hand, if they’re fighting, it will feel like lilith is trying to swallow ascendant in their negative energy. This aspect is especially grim when a man’s lilith conjuncts the woman’s ascendant. In the courting stage, that dynamic is so funny, because the man with the lilith will just be angry at you for no reason and look at you with these intense and protruding eyes, even when they’re not the plutonic type at all. I’m a sag rising, so I know that most guys who are two years older than me (year 2000) have this aspect with me. Without knowing their birth times, I can basically guess their zodiac sign based on how strong I think their lilith is conjuncting my ascendant 😂 you forget about them, go about your ascendant business and then you exchange looks and remember that they’ve ‘remembered’ (👹) you, so to speak. It’s not an aspect that makes the ascendant drawn to lilith (self protection) but more one that makes them take an interest in lilith.

Mars 2nd house: prolonged courting

Mars/venus 12th house or mars/venus in pisces : passive courting

Mars in 7th: passive aggressive courting 😂 no, that depends on the mars sign really, but it’s really the planet of aggression falling into the house of libra, which is the fall-sign of mars. It normally doesn’t matter, because venus x mars always creates a passionate and romantic aspect, but the overlay is really like mars bonking on the seventh house’s door while she’s in her beauty sleep. You have to understand it.. It has enemies to lovers potential that falls into the water because 7th house sees mars as their ideal fantasy and mars already has a crush on the 7th house person 😂

Pluto conjunct ascendant: some sagittarius risings of generation z are always going to have people their age, namely those with more natal plutonic influences, have a ~certain~ kind of attraction towards them in relationship. Their looks and appearance will stir something deep inside the pluto person, and the ascendant person will automatically see pluto as a grounding, dark intensity. It creates a lot of attraction, but if when young and underdeveloped pluto won’t know wether to hate ascendant and think they’re ‘cringe’ (because ascendant basically embodies and confronts them with their intense, darker and secret self. Even worse if ascendant is naturally confident..🤭 ) or be sort of intrigued by them. Girls growing up with this natal aspects easily got hated and called ‘annoying’ by everyone. Imagine them having this aspect with people their age for the rest of their lives 😭 I can do a whole post on natal pluto conjuncting ascendant and the experience of growing up with that 😂

Moon square saturn: there is such a blockade here to actually becoming something. This blockade is almost magical in the sense of how powerful and unmoving it is in itself. Moon and saturn are very unmoving and hearty heavenly bodies in astrology, so it’s understandable. I’m going to tell a story: I’ve had moon square saturn synastry in a way that most people don’t have this aspect: I had this aspect with someone in my student house whose sun was conjuncting my ic, we had a fourth house stellium in both synastry and composite, venus was conjuncting my moon and the rest of our compatibility indicated all sorts of no shame, reading each others minds, lilithane qualities, etc. We also clearly liked each other in whatever way, saw each other as soulmates (vertex conjunct north node people 😭), thought the other attractive, but ‘being together’?? Well, in the first months we just looked each other in the eyes for entire seconds~ like we were the lead characters in a season of Bridgerton and every time we felt some sort of romantic shift (after talking or something) we would literally RUN away 😂 and the courting stage was literally just that; being friends who were ‘moving away’, leaving the room, suddenly ignoring each other, shifting our position, not saying anything.. and bit by bit we became so purely aware of each other and the connection we had. When it went on long enough, we just looked at each other and immediately knew. The tension became worse and worse and the romantic subtext became the elephant in the room for us. Moon square saturn means deep and meaningful chemistry through the harsh nature of the square and the nature of the planets themselves, but of course it didn’t play out as something like venus square mars. Our connection became the elephant in the room, but the tension wasn’t sexual or playful romantic attraction. The tension had themes like karma, responsibility, ‘we should actually be together’, ‘why aren’t we romantically responding to each other’, ‘because we’re both too shy’. I almost felt this annoyance from the moon person. We couldn’t look at each other without immediately knowing and having that heaviness of moon square saturn. So it was kind of awkward, because we didn’t express anything concretely, but we both knew. And only way later we dared to cross the line, after basically being training-wheeling into having our first kiss. This is an aspect that really can’t be rushed in my opinion. It would just make the first date or cuddle etc super awkward. I wouldn’t say it’s a slow burn aspect because there is not really any burning here 😂 nor pining. That isn’t to say that your relationship won’t have any pining and burning (because we did have that) but this aspect doesn’t provide that. It provides a heaviness that makes both people apprehensive and inward about their feelings for each other. Anyway, I’m rambling here~~~ almost forgetting to say that once these people are together, their love is soo pure, and they will most likely never leave. The sense of (emotional) duty and rigidness in your romantic life is too heavy for that. When they break up, it will leave a looong period of heartbreak. @/lilmajorshawty once remarked that she saw this aspect a lot in older widowed couples that refused to ever remarry after their partner had died. Good luck if this happens to be a key aspect in your chart.

Moon in third house: so in theory, this aspect is not very karmic and can almost feel plain, because the third house isn’t seen as a romantic enough placement for the moon to be in. I beg to differ. In my experience, people love their moon third house overlays, including me. Finding a person you can intellectualise your emotions with right off the bat of meeting them, creates a cupido effect for most people. The moon-ness of the moon will bring out and safe-haven the vulnerability in third house’s thoughts and ideas, and draw out the underlying sentiment in their way of thinking. It’s like someone finally sees you! The moon will feel charmed by this level of friendship and openness, understood, seen, having a sense of comfort and communication with the third house person that takes them months to get even with their longtime friends. The house person will love to ‘house’ the moon this way and listening to the moon person open up will be second nature to them. I’ve seen that people can grow really important to each other with this aspect. Think of that one person you can always reconnect with, no matter what. Think of that one person ever that you’ve met with whom small talk actually went genuinely nice and smooth and pleasant, and not so small even.

[claudeng80]

Brains and Hearts

Garrack Gazelt/Lata Forzeno, "Theft"

(Possibly a prequel to Absence Makes The Heart)

Lata Forzeno has no need for any more reasons to avoid Wistal and the entire south of Clarines, but the weather is giving him a new one. Thankfully, the front room of the Wistal pharmacy is shady, a necessary respite from the summer heat. Even over the cheerful chiming of the door bell, he can hear the slam of a drawer somewhere in the back, followed by the patter of boots. It’s quieter than the Lilias pharmacy, but that’s not a bad thing. It always reminded him of a beehive, scholars coming and going at all times.

Thankfully, it’s a familiar face who rounds the corner. “Shirayuki,” he says, as brusque as always because if he let on that it was nice to see her, Obi would never let him live it down.

“It’s been a while,” she says back, not bothering to conceal her smile. “Do you need the services of the pharmacy, or did you just miss the smell?”

“That knight of yours is a bad influence,” he says. “You used to be so polite.”

“If you’re looking for politeness, the court meets on the other side of the palace.” Shirayuki looks as startled as Lata by the newcomer, who’s leaning in the door of a side office. She’s wearing a lab coat like it’s a fur cape, elegant from the crown of her blond head to the tips of her shoes. “Here we deal in facts.”

Before he’s even realized it, Lata’s folded into a court bow, and the sardonic smile on her lips accepts it as her due. Whoever this is, she’s interesting. “First words of sense I’ve heard all day,” he says.

*

Somehow his polite visit turns into an invitation to lunch, but the three of them have only just sat down to eat when a quiet shadow blocks the light. Lata scowls, anticipating an insolent smirk and a slouch, but instead the interruption is a tall, clean-faced man he doesn’t know. Or he doesn’t know him personally; even a recluse such as him recognizes the prince’s aide.

“Now?” Shirayuki asks, and the man murmurs another sentence in her ear. All the while he watches Lata and Garrack out of the corner of his eye, with the air of someone for whom orders have trumped courtesy. He knows he’s being rude, but it’s an inevitability. Shirayuki sighs, and he freezes; she pushes her chair back and he relaxes fractionally. “I’m sorry to leave you, but this is the only chance-”

She leaves her sentence as unfinished as her drink, following the knight out of the cafeteria and leaving Lata alone with a beautiful woman he’s known for a whole fifteen minutes. He’s heard of the legendary Garrack Gazelt, of course; one doesn’t spend any time in company with either Suzu or Ryuu without hearing the name regularly. He did read a monograph of hers once, just to get Suzu to stop begging, and her writing style was both clear and precise. He’s inclined to approve. However, he had pictured someone rather older and not so stunning.

“Ryuu said he asked you for advice,” she says, and it sounds more like an accusation than thanks.

“A time or two. He has a good head on his shoulders.” They both nod, united for a moment. “A little too serious, though.”

“Lilias has been good for that.” She stirs her drink; he’d thought at first it was alcohol from the way she sipped it, but from closer it smells like cold Lilias tea. Funny that the supposedly-exclusive recipe has caught on here as well. “I’ll grant you that it was a good decision for him to stay. You can’t have Shirayuki, though.” She brandishes her spoon, and he could laugh.

“I’m a geologist. What use do I have for herbalists?” Garrack cocks an eyebrow at him, and he can’t help but bristle. “They chased me all over the North. I had a veritable infestation of them. Besides, I’m not the one you should be worrying about. There’s no reason to accuse me of stealing her when that prince exists.”

“That’s the truth.” They both look at the door Shirayuki had followed the knight out, then she sighs and downs the rest of her tea. “You’re more my time than hers, anyway.”  She leans back and eyes Lata again, and this time he’s not sure whether he should admit to the scratch on his shoulder (courtesy of an overhanging branch on the ride down) or the way his heart is pounding in his throat. She probably already can tell, by the look on her face.

“Are you staying long?” she asks, lightly.

He has a couple of appointments over the next few days, and at some point he needs to go make his bows to his mother, but as much as he is an idiot when it comes to women, he knows that’s not what she’s asking. He’s attracted to her; inexplicably the feeling appears to be mutual. “Long enough for whatever you have in mind. I am at your disposal, my lady.”

@ans-arcade

[majesticwren]

as warned, I am going through an intense gabe kidd fase and now this exists. also there's a concerning lack of gabe kidd's fics around and we must correct that have you seen the guy?? this is 6k of mostly smut and a little angst/comfort just because. don't judge me please. i am so invested in this dynamic I am already 3k deep in a prequel lmao shoot me. also, also, quick p.s. as per usual, my oc has a set aesthetic in my own vision but she isn't described so she can fit whatever you like. k bye. enjoy.

Trigger Warning/s: smut, unprotected sex (as per usual, don't take this as example, follow your sexed! peeps), mention of power and pleasure play, mention of kinks and gabe being dom even though this is pretty tame, kinda, angst/comfort at the very end, breeding kink if you squint really hard.

Masterlist

The small private gym her husband had taken the liking to going and spending all his time in was hardly a welcoming environment. Especially at one o'clock in the morning. Especially to her. And particularly after Gabe and her had yet another disagreement and he left abruptly to go lay off some steam. And didn't come back.

Vanessa hated it when he did that. She hated going to bed alone. She hated missing him so badly. 

He was an asshole but he was still the man she married and the guy she swore her heart to. Even though Gabe could be a stubborn motherfucker, he was her stubborn motherfucker and she felt the need to go remind him.

It was precisely why Vanessa practically marched through its doors with her chin raised by pride, floating effortlessly on her high heels. She was ready for another fight if it needed to be. She was ready to fight him as well as all of his group of little friends who liked to hype him up and stir his more violent side if only to get him into yet another fight they could bet on.

She hated them. They treated Gabe just like a racehorse, like a fighting dog. And she hated him for letting them. Countless were the useless arguments they had on the matter.

She hated his so-called friends just as much as they hated her. She was unwanted and despised because she was Gabe's only weakness. His only distraction. Most times, especially in public, Gabe respected her will more than his own. She was his queen and never once he'd let anyone forget that. They may argue sometimes but never once Gabe dared to undermine her. Her husband had nothing but respect and love for her, even when they didn't see eye to eye. 

Even the crowd knew her by now. Missus Vanessa Kidd. And they loved it when she escorted Gabe to the ring. They loved how she supported him and how she was the only one able to get him back on his feet to keep fighting. And they loved it when she rallied them to support him.

She became known as a warrior just as fierce as Gabe ever since that time she took his blood-covered face in her hands and softly prompted him to look at her, whispering soft praises to give him just enough strength to get back on his feet. The picture of them with their foreheads touching after his win went around the internet only feeding into the way the fans adored him. They ate it all up and it just helped Gabe grow in his career.

It was yet another reason why his little group of bootlicking collaborators didn’t like her. She was simply more important to Gabe than any of them ever would; even and especially Freddie, Gabe’s manager and trainer, who thought he could ride Gabe’s fame from here to eternity and despised her ever since she appeared in the picture. Funny that he had been the very reason why she and Gabe met when he had decided she had a pretty enough ass to invite her to the club VIP area to offer her to Gabe like a dessert on a silver platter like he was used to doing with countless other girls. Too bad she had stolen Gabe’s heart with one look.

Part of her liked to always remind everyone who she was and how she always had the upper hand and the last word. She liked to stir them and bother them. Haters gonna hate and she had all the weapons in her hands to get them to only simmer more. She was always the victor and God if she loved to rub it in Freddie’s face the way she made Gabe unbearably and stupidly happy. 

It was time to remind everyone Gabe was hers.

The small gym wasn’t operating and it was barely lit. From the small entrance corridor, she could hear the group of boys chattering loudly. Someone’s laughter bounced off the empty walls. Someone else was hitting a punching bag. And the rest were talking about the coming weekend's scheduled match.

The second Vanessa entered the room, Gabe’s sharp gaze was drawn to her. His blue eyes slashed the air, hitting her and never moved away.

He sat on a bench, elbows dropped on his knees, looking bored and exhausted as he caught his breath. The conversation around him was going on without his attention and she found herself wondering for how long did no one notice he wasn’t paying attention to them. His pale skin was reddened and pearled by sweat, which soaked through his tank top. Stupid man. She thought to herself. He had probably just spent the evening pushing his body to the extreme of exhaustion and would have been so sore tomorrow.

On the floor around him, there were several forgotten heavyweights and cans of beer. 

One of his pals was hopping around the punching bag, pretending to be in a fight, and one guy stood in front of one of the mirrors, looking at his reflection as he flexed his muscles, Freddie walked in between them talking loudly and drinking a beer, and two others sat around Gabe just watching him exercise. Guess she was the last person who was gonna judge them, that was a generally entertaining hobby.

“Everyone,” she began, already pointing to the door behind her back, “leave us.” 

The chattering quieted down as everyone looked back at her. Her attention didn’t move from Gabe.

Freddie approached her with a cynical smirk printed on his insufferable mouth. He was the only one who had the guts to always confront her openly. Even though he’d always come to regret it. “The princess has arrived, uh?” He wondered looking around to get his mates' support, “What can we ever do to help you, Missus Kidd?”

A cold, sharp smile crossed her lips as her uninterested gaze bounced off Freddie for a moment. “You can leave me alone with my husband.”

“No can do. This is my gym, you see?” He dramatically opened his arms, as if he was trying to show off. Though Vanessa was hardly impressed. “Who’s gonna lock up if I am not here?”

Vanessa promptly pulled her hand out, palm exposed and cheeky smirk curling her lips. “Give me the keys then,” she wasn’t joking, “You got this place only for my husband's delight, after all.”

“And you aren’t welcome here.”

“Wanna bet?”

Freddie was utterly offended but even before he could think about any colourful response, he was promptly stopped.

“Do as she says.” the order came from behind him and stopped everyone from second-guessing the situation. Gabe didn’t move an inch. His blue eyes stayed focused on Vanessa like laser beams. 

“Mate,” Freddie tried to appeal, to no avail, Gabe was unmovable.

“I said,” he continued coldly, “Do as she says. My wife’s wish is your command. Just like mine.” 

Freddie huffed angrily but bent under Gabe’s order without opposing. He better than anyone knew how stupid that would have been, Gabe was someone you wouldn’t want to anger. 

He released a frustrated grunt, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. He looked at Vanessa, still trying to square off with her and then, only out of spite, he turned away and left the keys on the edge of the practice ring in the middle of the room instead of in her hand. 

“Let’s go, boys,” he hinted at the others to follow him.

Neither she nor Gabe moved until they heard the door slam. Then, the small gym fell under a surreal silence. They still only looked at each other for a few moments. 

Gabe wasn’t usually a guy of too many words and yet never once Vanessa had been mistaken about reading through him and understanding him perfectly. Just like now. He may appear proud but his prolonged silence was only to allow her to act freely. The ball was entirely in her court. If she wanted to argue some more, he would have let her. If she wanted to make up, he would have apologised.

Finally, Vanessa decided to move closer. “You need to put a muzzle on your guy. I don’t like the way he thinks he owns you.”

“No one owns me but you, love.” He looked up at her.

“You must remind him more often.”

Gabe released a tired sigh. “Do you always have to fight him?”

“Yes.” She pointed out, “He doesn’t like me, remember?”

“And?” Gabe dared to pull a smile, “Tough shit, you are my missus. Nothing will change that, love.”

“Am I?” She wondered daring to provoke him, “Didn’t feel much like your wife when I was left to go to bed alone waiting. I do not like that.”

“I am sorry,” 

“That’s not enough,” Vanessa approached him. She stepped in between his spread knees and loved to see the way he bent his neck, looking up at her with nothing but devotion pouring out of his eyes. She was quickly inebriated. Nothing made her knees feel like jelly like that big, scary man on the verge of falling on his knees for her. Vanessa smiled evilly and pushed a finger under his chin, making him lean further. “You gotta apologise like you mean it, Mr.” She then gave him a small push and took a step back, and then another. “Am I your wife? Make me feel what it means. Because from where I stand now, I feel more like the forgotten woman.”

“Never,” Gabe inhaled deeply, “I would never forget about you. I am sorry I made you feel that way.”

Vanessa's tempting smile only grew. She took another step back, only waiting for Gabe to follow her, as she slipped out of her heavy pink fur coat revealing she was only wearing a short nightgown made of lace and silk. The bitter air of the gym hit her, but it wasn’t the cold that gave her goosebumps, it was the shift in Gabe’s attention. He hissed as his eyes cruised across her figure, studying what she was wearing, or better the lack of it. 

“What are you doing?” He snapped between gritted teeth.

Vanessa pretended to not know what he meant and propped herself on the edge of the ring, sitting and elegantly crossing her legs. “I don’t know,” she started, “What does it look like I am doing, Mr Kidd?” She checked her freshly made manicure.

“I am not about to fuck you on that dirty ring, love.”

“No?” She wondered pulling a small pout, “Not even if I asked nicely?”

She wasn’t stupid. She knew they had unfinished business to discuss but she was done with that for now. She was ready to raise a white flag first. She wasn’t gonna fight to have the last say. She just wanted to be held by her husband. There might be times they weren’t able to understand each other, both too stubborn by nature to listen, but sex would always be their way to find each other again.

Daring to peek back at him, Vanessa recognised his hesitation and decided to give him a small encouragement, letting one of the thin straps slip down her shoulder. “I am getting cold, Gabriel,”

He was on her in a second. With a grunt, he grabbed her legs rudely pulling her closer, guiding them around him just so he could sit nicely between her thighs as he pressed his chest against her. Vanessa welcomed him with a victorious giggle, quickly wrapping herself around him like a branching tree. 

His hands had barely moved from engaging her. He held her ankle in one palm and her knee in the other and yet, even though he had barely touched her, it was enough to send her ballistic. 

When their lips found each other, Gabe’s were demanding as he expressed freely his desire for her. And Vanessa was nothing but ready to match him.

He was generally taller than her, but now that she was propped up, she had all the freedom to embrace him and she took the advantage, feeling the consistency of his broad shoulders under her arms and pushing her hands to run free across them and down his back or up his thick neck and around his shaved skull. 

Vanessa squeezed his sides between her thighs and released a soft moan into his mouth as she rubbed herself against his solid body. 

“Fuck, love,” he hissed softly, “If I’d known it gets you this desperate, I would have done it more often.”

“Don’t you dare,” she pinned him with a threatening gaze, “I’ll ask for divorce.”

He pulled a soft, confident smirk looking at her. “You would never, Missus Kidd.” As he said it, he pressed his face into her neck, inhaling deeply her scent.  

“No,” she sighed letting her head fall backwards, leaving him all the space he needed to do as he wished with her. “You are right, I am too crazy about you Mr Kidd.”

She felt his smile on her skin as he followed the column of her neck up. His blonde beard tickled her. “That’s right,” his breath was hot on her skin and made her entire body crawl with goosebumps. “Even when I am an ass?”

“Unfortunately,”  

In response to her pretend indifference, Gabe playfully bit down on her neck and then his tongue followed, tasting her sensitive skin. His mouth was quick to latch on her, suckling on her with every intent of leaving a mark.

“I have work in the morning,” she pointed out but with no intention of pushing him off. The pleasure of him sucking on her skin like a hungry vampire was too great. Even when it meant showing up at the office with her neck covered in hickeys like a horny teenager. And Vanessa didn’t miss to let him know, whining softly in his ear.

“Good. Let all of them fuckers know how well your hot husband shags you,” and then he didn’t speak until he was satisfied with his work. He pressed her down on the ring ropes, pushing himself further in her embrace. His hands traced up along her legs, pushing the edges of her nightgown up around her hips and grabbing on her exposed flesh, guiding her to rub herself against him, encouraging her with a grunt.

Her pleasure quickly burned through her and became frustration as soon as she realised just how much more she needed. And she was never patient enough to wait for him to give her what she wanted. 

“Gabe?” She panted, digging her nails into the nape of his neck, hoping to get his attention. No response, he had moved down to her shoulder, still sucking and marking her skin with hickeys. “Shit. Please,” she pleaded, rolling her hips against him, only causing him to squeeze down on her. “Please, baby. I need you now,” she tried again, this time succeeding in getting his attention.

He stood back up, looking down at her with a satisfied grin on his puffed lips. His light blue eyes glimmered with satisfaction as his gaze crossed her figure. “Look at you,” his hands cruised across her legs, “Such a mess already, uh?”

“All your fault,” she puffed her chest up, “You got me all angry and frustrated,” Vanessa grabbed his chin, pulling him closer, “As I said, I had been waiting for you.”

“In this state?”

She nodded biting down on her lip, watching how his eyes fell on her mouth. Gabe's smile transformed into something more twisted as he looked at her like a hungry wolf. And God how much she wished for him to devour her.

Just as if he had read her thoughts, Gabe pulled her leg across his figure and up, so his lips could kiss her ankle. The softness he revealed as he held her was astonishing considering his size and the way he could easily snap a grown man in half.

“I must fix it,” he mumbled, eyes closed in devotion as he leaned down, following the inside of her leg with his lips. “Can’t have my wife this desperate.”

“She is always this desperate when her husband isn’t around.”

Gabe smiled against her thigh. “Don’t tell me that, love, or I won’t be able to leave you again,”

“Then don’t.” Vanessa stretched, releasing a soft moan as her hands solidly grabbed the ring rope in anticipation. 

A low growl came from the middle of his chest as Gabe finally looked up at her. His eyes were the colour of ice but burned like the hottest of flames as he threw her legs over his shoulders. He pressed a kiss on her tender skin just by her knee and then another, lower down, enjoying watching her react to him. His hot breath on her skin was enough to make her whimper.

God, he was so pretty in between her thighs.

“Gabriel,” she called him out in a silent plea, bucking her hips up.

He wasn’t gonna let her beg any further. Just as impatiently as she was, Gabe’s fingers hooked on the thin material of her panties and easily tore it apart, exposing her completely to his assault. 

Gabe buried his face into her, eating her pussy out and not letting a single drop of her sweet juices go to waste. When she bucked her hips up into him, he was ready to catch her, wrapping an arm solidly around her, granting her the support to angle herself as she wished against him, only so he could grant her as much pleasure possible. By now, she knew how much he loved to make her come. He could be particularly dominant, rude and rough most times, which sent her into outer space, but his priority was her satisfaction over his.

Vanessa tried to suffocate a louder moan into her own hand as a wild wave of pleasure curled through her, reviving her and, at the same time, leaving her wanting so much more. She wished him to take her and use her up until they were both breathless and exhausted.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled dangerously, lifting his head and ripping a whine out of her. “Let me hear you.”

“But-”

His eyes twinkled. A dangerous smile crossed his tumid lips. Her juices smeared all over his beard. “Nah Missus Kidd,” his tone was soft but carried a warning, “You came all the way here wanting to get shagged by your husband, yeh? So, now, you will be a good girl for me and be nice and loud as I eat your pretty pussy, yeah? Make me happy, will you, love?”

“Fuck, Gabe,” she hissed looking down at him. He had a mad look to him, like he was spiralling into obsession and it drove her insane to know she was the cause. 

“Yes?” He insisted.

“Yes, sir,” she purred submissing to his will, knowing how much he liked some powerplay. “Please,”

“Good girl,” he praised delving into her once more. 

His tongue was merciless running across her slit, poking her entrance and then slipping up to her clit, where he would stop and suck her tender, hot flesh into his mouth, making her see stars. Her moans were quick to fill the space, bouncing off the walls and echoing around them, only prompting Gabe to continue giving her more.

He made her come once, grunting in approval as she unravelled against him, calling his name. And then again, straight after, fucking his fingers into her until her moans became cries. And then once more, just because he could, only this time he took his time and was gentler, allowing her to ride her high and settle as he pulled himself up, looking down at the mess he had made of her.

He smirked, licking his fingers clean as he let her catch her breath. “Was this what you wanted, love?”

She nodded, barely able to focus and formulate words.

His cocky smile only grew. “I’ve barely started,” he gently grabbed one of her hands and guided it into his crotch so he could rub himself against her palm, impatiently demanding direct contact with her. “Look what you did to me.”

Vanessa purred like a cat, pulling herself up and rubbing her nose on his neck. “My big boy,” she smiled proudly kissing his jaw, and then his cheek, “you are so hard for me baby,” she rolled her fingers around his erection, feeling it through the material of his gym shorts. “You do want to fuck me on this dirty ring, after all.” She whispered those words on his lips and then pulled him into a famished kiss, becoming more feral by the second as she tasted herself on his lips. He whimpered softly into her mouth, rubbing his cock into her hand.

“You have no idea,” he nodded against her, “Do you need a second, love?” He wondered attentively, letting his hands run across her legs and around her hips. “Or are you ready for me?”

Vanessa bit hard on her lip, smiling temptingly, stretching under his eyes. “What do you think, Gabe?”

He smiled, looking at her. His hands squeezed her soft hips and felt the curve of her back in his fingers as he pulled her towards him. “Right you are, Missus Kidd.”

Gabe then slipped out of his tank top. They both forgot about it the second he threw it on the floor. He flexed his muscles under her gaze and Vanessa enjoyed the show, watching avidly the edges of his pale skin. She wanted to lick the sweat off him. He was broad and strong and God, she had never considered herself particularly vain, but her husband’s body was a work of art able to mesmerise her.

Vanessa's hands crossed his shoulders and down across his large chest, following the edge of his imposing abdomen and further down, following the pale happy trail under his bellybutton. She hooked her fingers on the low edge of his shorts, licking her lips as her gaze fell on his hip dips. She couldn’t wait to have him pound into her. It was a wild desire she couldn’t explain. Again, she had never thought she would know what it meant to be cock-drunk, until she met him. She had lovers before, even good ones, but no man ever made her as desperate and needy as Gabriel could. And he knew it.

He helped her pulling his shorts and boxers down and hissed, surprised, when she impatiently rolled her fingers around his shaft, guiding him to position himself by her entrance. “Please, Gabriel,”

“You are so impatient,” he whispered grabbing on her chin to make her look at him. “I will hurt you if you don’t let me warm you up a little, love, you know that.”

His voice and accent alone were enough to drive her insane. Let alone everything else. Vanessa shook her head, stubborn as always. “I can’t wait any longer.” 

He nodded, resolute, as he forced his thumb into her mouth at the same time as he pushed the tip of his cock into her, finding little to no resistance from her. “Fuck, love, you are so wet and tight.” 

Vanessa smiled proudly, letting him watch as she rolled her tongue around his digit and adoring seeing how he puffed up his chest. “C’mon, big boy, give it to me,” she dared to challenge him. “This is not the place to be soft.”

“You are so cheeky,” he began, at first his gaze was soft, but it hardened as he let his hand slide down her throat, squeezing her neck into his hold. “Want it rough, don’t you?”

Even before she could nod, Gabe gave up and gave her exactly what she asked for. She wasn’t the only impatient one. He pushed himself all the way inside of her, watching avidly as her expression changed under the intense wave of pleasure that was ripped out of her. 

Her body stretched around him and he still granted her a second to get used to his size before he started to fuck into her. His clarity vanished just as quickly as his pounds became rapid and hard, ripping her sanity just as easily as he did with her moans. He was quick to give into the frenzy of his desire for her and they both seemed to forget everything else but that moment.

Gabe hooked his arm under her knee and pushed her to bend in a more favourable position. He pushed his face into her chest and growled at the material of her gown but, even before she could hint to slip out of it, he got rid of the problem easily ripping the material above her chest and tearing it up in half with his bare hands.

“Shit, Gabe!” She scorned him, not entirely serious, “Could you try not to trash all my clothes?” She pointed out, only to be shushed by him pumping his cock harder and deeper into her, latching on her and sucking her tits into his mouth. She quickly forgot everything about her clothes and cried her pleasure out loud, grabbing onto Gabe’s shoulders to keep steady.

“Wear something else next time,” He grunted catching his breath.

“Hard to find something that doesn’t make you want to tear it off me.”

“Shut up, Missus. You love it,” He was smiling as he dived on her neck, following her throat with his tongue from the base to her chin. “God, you always taste so delicious.” The way he proceeded to release a soft series of whimpers in her ear, following the rhythm of his thrusts, sent her to another planet.

“Fuck, baby,” she huffed, this time digging her nails into his back. Her focus had dissipated. Her skin was hot and sensitive as her body charged up with waves of pleasure that followed each of his thrusts only growing in intensity, making her core tense up. “I am so close.”

“Yeah?” He wondered, “Come for me then, love,” he encouraged her softly, sliding a hand in between them to rub his thumb on her clit, ripping a loud moan off her. “Be a good girl and give it to me, yeh? I want to feel my wife’s pussy squeeze my cock.”

Vanessa was gone in his arms by then. His voice alone was enough to guide her through her pleasure, throwing her off the edge as he kept fucking her to a merciless rhythm. She cried his name out loud as her entire body quivered underneath him, but Gabe was still not done. He didn’t give her a second to breathe. The selfish prick kept pounding into her, proudly praising the way her pussy clenched around him and taking everything from her. 

It didn’t take him long to follow her, though. The closer he got to come, the more erratic his thrusts became. Gabe wrapped his arms around her solidly and pushed a hand into her hair, grabbing the back of her neck, bringing her to look at him, diving into her eyes as he came. Vanessa watched his bright eyes glimmer with all the love he had for her as he gave himself to her completely, letting her see straight into his heart. Nothing matched that feeling to her. That look was everything. Those eyes changed her life forever and nothing made sense without him by her side. 

Damn him. She hated loving him that much. And yet there was no other way to be. She had known he was the one ever since their first glance and hadn’t been able to let him go ever since.

He collapsed in her arms heavily, pushing his face into the crook of her neck as he caught his breath. Gabe didn’t ease his hold around her, keeping her as close as humanly possible even though he was still lost in the high of his orgasm.

Vanessa smiled, partially satisfied as she kissed softly his forehead, squeezing him in between all her limbs. “Well, that was something,” she whispered brushing her smile across the line of his eyebrow. 

Gabe nodded, “Won’t be able to look at this place the same way ever again,”

“Good.”

They stayed silent for a few moments, just enjoying their embrace as their bodies cooled off. He behaved like a big feline, rubbing his face into her and gladly taking all the soft kisses she left on his features as her grateful lips followed distractedly the high line of his square cheekbones. His forehead. The arch of his eyebrows. The solid line of his nose.

Then, almost too suddenly, Gabe finally moved, looking up at her. She watched him hesitate and recognised thoughts formulating behind his eyes, even though words didn’t come out.

“You don’t have to say anything,” she pointed out tapping her index on his lips with an encouraging nod. “I love you, Gabe. Sometimes I feel like I love you too much and it will ruin me, but I still love you.”

“Me too, love.” He said, almost sounding desperate, “I am sorry for before,”

“Please,” she tried to hush him, sliding her fingers on his lips once more only for him to shake his head. 

“No. You have to let me say it, love.” He looked into her eyes and then pressed a kiss on her fingers and into her palm as he guided her to press her hand on his cheek. “I was an asshole.”

“And I was a bitch,” she pointed out pushing herself to pull a smile, trying to ignore the memories of the bitter argument they had. 

“That doesn’t justify any of it. I am sorry. I should have talked to you like an adult instead of panicking and behaving my usual way, losing my shit.”

“I-” For the first time, Vanessa looked away, trying to hide from him. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please, Gabe. Can you not just take me home and-”

“And what, love?” His gaze was insistent, “Fuck you some more. Fuck you until we both forget about it? I don’t think that’s the right way, Vanessa.”

It didn’t sound like such a bad plan to her.

“I want a baby. You don’t. End of story.” She admitted bitterly. “Now I don’t know how to move on from there. I am scared out of my mind that this is it. That it will be the reason why we keep arguing and we’ll eventually start to resent each other. So, yes, Gabe. I need you to stop me from spiralling into my head and remind me that I am yours and that you’d never let me go. Baby or no baby. Can you do that, Gabriel?” She wondered now looking straight at him, not hiding away. “Can you do that for me? Because the only thing I keep thinking is that I am not good enough and we won’t make it. And I just know I cannot be without you. So, can you get over here and fuck the fear right out of me, please?”

Panic started to grow in her as all the fears she had tried to ignore crept back around her.

“Oh, baby,” he cradled her gently. “I am so sorry,” he whispered, cupping her face in his big, rough palms. He kissed her once, twice, hoping to get her forgiveness, trying to seal the wound their disagreement caused. “I love you.” He made her look at him, “Do you hear me? I love you. You are my one and only and I will never let you go. I cannot bear the idea that you are hurting. That I somehow fucked up. You want a baby? I’ll give you a baby.”

“No. You didn’t fuck up,” she was ready to raise a white flag and forget all about it. She kissed his face tenderly. “I do not need a baby. But I need you. I am sorry. I will not push you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want a baby with you,” he spoke in between kisses, losing himself in their hug, “I do not want to fuck him up like my parents did with me. I am not made to be a father.”

Vanessa melted away. She wrapped her hands around his face and looked at him, finding in his eyes and his closeness everything she cherished. “Oh, baby,” she whispered, caressing his face. “You need to stop considering yourself as a good-for-nothing guy. Look at all the good you do.”

“What good, love?” He sounded desperate, “I do not know what you see in me and I never will. Every day I try to live up to the expectation you have of the man I am, but I am nothing more than a guy with a bad temper. I fight for a living. Until someone will either end my career or put me in my grave. I know nothing else.”

“And you call all of that nothing? You are feared and respected. But more importantly, you are inspiring. Every time you get back up, someone remembers how important is to keep fighting. Every time you win you remind everyone you are better than them. I wouldn’t want you to be anybody else.”

“I am mad all the time, Vanessa. You are the only that showed me how to feel anything else. That doesn’t make me a better man. It just makes me a fool in love with you.”

“You are a good man. I know you don’t see it and you don’t want others to see it, but you have been nothing but a good man to me. And you are loyal and fearless and so much more.”

“To you. I am a good man with you.” He hesitated, “What if that doesn’t reflect on my baby?”

A small smile popped on her lips just by hearing him already defining a hypothetical child as his. “You don’t believe that.” The way Gabe looked at her like she was the only light in a darkness constantly swallowing him, made her feel the visceral need to pull him into her chest and protect him from the world. “You are my husband. My person. My family. And my home. And I am the luckiest woman alive for having you.” Vanessa caressed his face and kissed his lips. “I don’t need anything else. Only you.”

“And what if-” he hesitated some more, swallowing what it looked like rocks. “What if I wanted more, love? What if, maybe, growing a family with you is what I want?”

“Then,” she cut through his words, speaking close to his face, cradling him and kissing his features, “Then we can talk about it. Mh? How does that sound, baby? We can talk about it just the two of us. No more arguments and no more outsiders’ opinions influence.”

Gabe looked at her like a scared kid and then he nodded, finally hiding into a kiss. 

He pulled his shorts up and then solidly wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off the ring and carrying her away with him like she weighed nothing. “Let’s get you home, love.”

“For what it’s worth,” she started hanging on his shoulders and looking up at him, so smitten it was hard to breathe, “I think you’d be a dashing baby-daddy.”

Gabe smiled, trying to hide the blushing on his cheeks as he looked away. “Don’t say shit like that, love.”

“Why, baby?” She wondered drawing circles on his buzzed-off skull, only pretending to have no clue what she was doing. “You would. Just imagining you carrying our baby in your arms – or you pushing a pram around, makes me feel all kinds of things. You’d be a very sexy baby-daddy if you ask me. Playing pretend-wrestling with them when they grow up,” Vanessa giggled feeling a buzz warming her stomach up only thinking about it. “Our baby would grow up to be just like you, I know it.”

Gabe hissed, shaking his head, “See? You can’t go saying things like these Missus Kidd,” he teasingly warned her, “Because it just makes me want to put a baby in you right now.”

“Good,” she smiled proudly even though she found herself having to suppress the thought of it very quickly. The desire to take him to the letter was too big. “Was the play pretend-wrestling that convinced you, right?”

“Definitely,” he winked, pulling a confident smile. “And knowing just how hot my wife would look with a swollen belly with my baby in it.”

“See? You cannot go saying things like these Mr Kidd,” she mocked him, “It makes me go insane.”

“I’ll give you something better,” he continued, putting her down by his gym bag but still offering a helping arm, to make sure she found her balance. “Let’s go home and we can talk about it in bed, uhm?”

Looking up at him, Vanessa pressed herself by his side purring like a cat. She traced his chest up with her fingers feeling her heart could explode with love any moment. “It sounds lovely.” 

[spacexseven]

ok thinking about subordinate darling chuuya… I think we discussed mean chuuya together, but I can see the appeal of nice chuuya as well! I personally have a preference for mean chuuya because. reasons… but thats just me.

for nice chuuya, it would be a good cop bad cop scenario. dazai bullies you cuz he thinks its funny, chuuya swoops in to earn your trust. rinse and repeat. it might be out of true altruism on chuuyas part at first, but quickly devolves into more sinister intentions. I actually think this approach would probably kick dazai into gear a bit as the idea of darling liking chuuya more than him makes a cold dread settle into his bones. its a race for number one as dazai suddenly starts vying for your attention much like a child, with the hidden agenda of trying to rile chuuya up enough to get him to reveal the monster underneath the facade.

for mean chuuya… have you ever seen an old cartoon where two kids are fighting over a doll? and then start crying when they inevitably end up ripping it? yeah. both of them like you, neither one of them wants to actually admit this due to the fact they've convinced themselves they find you worthless and annoying up to this point, but they also don't want to give you up to the other. the tentative bond they formed from making fun of you together completely breaks in half as they become obsessed with winning, even if the prize is somewhat unclear. I think we get the concept of how DAZAI is mean by now, but chuuya is another beast. whereas dazai's cruelty, while unpredictable in method, is reliably consistent in intensity, motive, and frequency (up until his crush starts to muddle things); chuuya seemingly decides at random just how mean he intends to be and why. like, one day completely fucking up your given task only gets you jeered at and mocked, and the next making eye contact without permission gets you punched in the face. and some days he just acts like you don't exist no matter WHAT you do. hard to get a handle on, that one. he doesnt get "worse" when he realizes he likes you, just weird. like now he's a stereotypical romance anime tsundere about it. dork loser.

and uh, speaking of the doll ripping… if (when) dazai and mean!chuuya end up going too far… maybe they send you off on a mission that gets your kidnapped or almost killed… maybe one (or both) of them overestimate your resilience and give you an injury that cant be walked off… or maybe its just as little as noticing you're suddenly less combative and more timid towards them nowadays… you REALLY don't wanna know just how far they're willing to go to "make it up" to you. they might even work together on it, or maybe they'll try to sell the other one up the river and become your favorite. either way you're in for a ride. the idea of losing you will immediately make both of them drop all pretense, and what's underneath the "cruel, dismissive senior" act is NOT for the faint of heart.

- 🩹

honestly i think its likely they end up pairing up just bc these two seem to get a lot more done when working together lolol Hope this isnt too long :&lt;

if chuuya decides to play the role of the good guy, it's mostly because he wants to piss off dazai, and maybe a little bit of sympathy knowing that you really stand no chance against your superior. the more dazai gets on his nerves, the more he stops by to check in on you, knowing it gets dazai all riled up and angry—but since he doesn't want you to know it bothers him, dazai's more likely to bottle up his frustration, and to chuuya it's hilarious. eventually though, you sort of...grow on him. there's something about your pitiful state after yet another one of dazai's stupid pranks or derogatory comments, something about the way you try to hide your eyes tearing up when you sense him coming behind you that stirs something in him. chuuya's fingers twitch at his side, wanting to reassure you. he wants to coo over you, like someone would to a whimpering puppy.

and suddenly, it doesn't matter if dazai gets mad—chuuya just wants to be there for you. if he learns that the cause of your sorrow is none other than dazai, chuuya's punches to him are more harder than usual, and there's something more hateful about the glare he seems to always have directed at the other. he tells you something embarrassing dazai has done in the past, helps you plan and carry out your little revenge, anything to make you feel even a little better. and the way you smiled up at him was worth all of it.

maybe chuuya convinces mori to let you come on missions with him more often; after all, it wasn't like dazai had some claim on you. he treasured the little moments together—the devious looks you'd share with him before a surprise attack, the delight in your eyes when you dig into the desserts he gets you, and even the way you seemed to dim a little when it was over and you had to go back to working under dazai. obviously, that meant you liked him more, right?

dazai catches on pretty quickly to this white knight act chuuya's got going on, and it really doesn infuriate him, chuuya acting as though he isn't just as bad as dazai. sure, he's all nice to your face, but only dazai's seen chuuya brutally beat up some other member of the pm for insulting you, and only he knows that chuuya sneaks into your room regularly. if all it took to win you over was a few sweet words and outings, dazai would have you eating out of his hand in a week.

it's overwhelming to go from your usual experiences with dazai to him suddenly all over you and bribing you with sweets and trips to the aquarium. it's even more confusing when you see chuuya fuming at the corner of the hall when dazai starts telling you about how terrible of a temper chuuya's got and how easily dazai tricked him before. he eagerly offers to show you exactly how scary chuuya can be when he's mad, and assures you that he has a much better grasp on his emotions compared to chuuya. it's crazy enough already without having them actually start to argue in front of you, but that's exactly where this leads.

now for mean chuuya...

initially, his whole attitude towards you is more of indifference, a little bit annoyed because if you want to make it in the pm, you'd need to get used to this sort of treatment quickly. sometimes, he might find your reactions to dazai's torment sort of amusing. eventually, he begins terrorizing you for the fun of it; messing with the files you're in charge of or insulting you to get beneath your skin (i seriously doubt he'd be as bad as dazai but i agree w the unpredictable thing. sometimes he's even nice to you)

oh...if they think you're getting distant for whatever reason, any previous semblance of privacy or personal space is shattered. chuuya bombards you with gifts sent to your apartment, dazai is all over you, chuuya makes it pretty obvious he's following you, and dazai in turn sticks to your side like glue.

eventually, their rivalry is garnering too much negative attention, which may push them to the idea of working together or their rivalry gets worse whichever works out is based on the circumstances, and possibly mori might have a say in it if he thinks that this is disrupting the workings of the pm too much. honestly. them working together might be the better option, since to a certain extent chuuya might be able to keep dazai in check. alone, they are unpredictable and uncontrollable.

[idontevenknowhowtolife]

Dragons of HotD HCs

Syrax

Mother to Sunfyre, Tyraxes and Aemonds unhatched egg. Also parents Vermax.

She is so tired. Her kids give her so much shit.

Mated with Caraxes. Reason everyone says she cant hunt? Its because Caraxes will not let her. He's just like "relax babe, Ive got this" and will bring her food.

She's actually quite tolerant of kids, mainly because of Rhae introducing her kids to her and taking them flying on her.

She and Seasmoke have a friendly rivalry going on, mainly over how much trouble their hatchlings cause.

Meleys mothered Syrax the way she mothers Sunfyre and Vermax. She is laughing her head of at Syrax's exasperation with her kids antics because this is karma for the shit Syrax pulled on her.

She and Dreamfyre are actually quite close as they were the two she dragons left in a pit of dumbass he dragons for years. They have a standing gossip/complaining appointment every week.

She adores Rhaenyra. They have an exceptionally close bond and Rhaenyra was able to mount her so young because they both really didn't want Caraxes and Daemon to leave so they chased them. When they were in Rhaenyra's teen years, Syrax would sometimes test her and how far she could push with her but as they both matured their bond grew so much that Syrax would feel any emotion or pain from Rhaenyra and vice versa.

Syrax is really fast. She doesn't always like to go top speed all the time but she is competitive, especially against Seasmoke, and if challenged will leave any other dragon in the dust.

She misses the time when she could pin Sunfyre under one claw and Vermax under the other. They were much more peaceful times.

Caraxes

This dragon is so bloody done with his dumbass rider and his stupid habit of pissing off his brother and getting sent into exile.

You know how Syrax pinned down Sunfyre and Vermax when they were younger and being stupid? Well Caraxes does this to Daemon when he decides he needs a break from his dumbass riders shenanigans. It happens at least three times a week.

This guy is so in love with Syrax its not funny. He adores her. Part of the reason he hates exile? It separates him from Syrax.

He gets on with Vhagar really well because their riders have often been companions and flew together. The other dragons of his generation? They think he's weird and ignore him, which makes him upset and was why he was really happy when Seasmoke and Syrax hatched after years of no hatchlings.

He laughed his head off at Syrax about Sunfyre and Vermax until Moondancer was born and started doing the same thing to him. It is a struggle for him and Syrax to have uninterrupted alone time.

Is actually also good mates with Seasmoke because of the whole, bonding over burning people alive thing.

Did eventually bond with Vermithor when Syrax and Silverwing would ditch them to have girl time. Such bonding had consequences.

Meleys

Hugest mother hen to exist. She does not care about whether or not you're older than her or if you can take care of yourself, she will mother the shit out of any dragon.

Mothered Syrax and Seasmoke when they were born and taught them a lot about being a dragon and having a rider.

Super close bond with Rhaenys, often doesn't even have to be asked before she is doing what Rhaenys wants her to do.

Vhagar

Chaotic Grandma who plays favourites and encourages all the drama.

She grumpily adores Arrax who loves to bother her. He often finds himself pinned down under her claw. She will just nap and he will have to wait to move. (I am ignoring canon where she kills him, let me be happy)

Adores all of her riders and is fiercely protective of them. It broke her heart to kill Laena and she is never going to let anything happen to Aemond if she can help it. But she is also so tired of him refusing to bloody just confess to his crush.

She curses Balerion for going and dying on her and leaving her to deal with the shit that the younger generation stirs up.

Vermax

Chaos.

He is the result of Vermithor and Caraxes bonding. The only reason his egg hatched was because he was placed with Jace and it was decided that Jace was the one with the best chance of containing him.

His conception and the consequential chaos that resulted caused Syrax and Silverwing to banish their mates to another lair for months. Syrax especially was not pleased to have to mother another chaotic hatchling.

You know Jace is pissed off at you if he unleashes Vermax towards you. You will not survive.

Sunfyre

Does not know what boundries are because Aegon was never taught them and passed this onto his dragon.

Protective enabler of Aegons chaos, but also the one who drags him back from the edge of self destruction.

Friends with Vermax, which is not good for anyones sanity.

Dreamfyre

Loves her little dreamer rider.

Literally will only stand Syrax or Meleys, anyone else can go the fuck away.

A little traumatised by Rhaena and her own life experiences, which is also partly why it took her and Helaena a while to fly together.

[fuckzachariah]

xviii. dancing with our hands tied ; @aleburton

They rolled up to the hotel, the evening heavy and alive around them; a restless writhing atop a smothering blanket. Kylie decided not to duck inside, happy with her outfit and station, unwilling to allow her energy to ebb with the temptation of a bed before her night out. Zach tried to leave the car, distracted and mind abuzz with the following morning, but she snatched him back by the bicep. “Hey,” she scolded, tugging. He passed a glance to her, face like a diamond and eyes like water, looking at him like he was the whole world and she couldn’t fathom it. “Say bye.” Her hand came to his face, urging him closer. When they kissed, she tasted different; that sweet cherry pie gone a little sour as it went down. “Have fun, baby,” he muttered. “I’ll be a good girl, and all the rest!” she assured jokingly. Then he left. The car peeled away from the curb side, leaving him stranded in a strange limbo. Alone, the reality of his circumstance settled gently but heavily on his shoulders, like a soft leaden cloak.

Zach unearthed his phone from his pocket, blinking openly at the text on its screen. It was surreal to think of the sender. Though she had been unavoidably real tonight, the existence of Alex still remained out of reach in his mind, as though she existed beyond an impenetrable silvery film. The urgency with which the text had been sent, too, haunted him. His face turned to the sky, the air damp with premature dew. “Mr Winthrop?” He pivoted, a little jumpy. One of the hotel doormen bowed his head. “Do you need any help getting to your room?” Zach eyed him. “Amanda call the front desk?” The doorman’s mouth spread into a thin, sorry line, and he bowed his head again, gesturing to the door. “Just let me know if you need anything.” Zach, exasperated, allowed himself to be led inside. He waved them off promptly, refusing to be escorted further as he headed to the elevator.

Sleep expertly evaded him. Though he turned down the lights, he continued to pace erratically in the silent dark, plagued by their uncertainty. They had not discussed precisely what the following day would entail, if at all. What was it she wanted to say to him? Was it as simple as clearing the air? Or was it something worse, something irreparable? The question of their sustained chemistry was inescapable; it curled like a parasite at his core, twisting and thrashing, feeding off of his anxiety. He couldn’t ignore it. But could he suppress it if they were bound to live adjacent lives? Two parallel lines, never converging, but always close enough to know that a single diverted path could cancel the other’s out entirely. The mini bar had been emptied ahead of their arrival upon request, and he was glad of it; with nobody there to hold him accountable, the itch was insufferable.

Zach was still awake even when Kylie returned back to the hotel somewhere around 3 AM. He had been so accustomed to honesty with her that these past ten hours had been dizzying; it dawned on him as he chose to feign sleep that he had lied to her more times in New York than ever before in California. Funny. “Baby,” she mumbled into the blue dark, crawling dress, heels and all onto the bed beside him, the mattress shifting with her weight. Zach, for reasons he could not parse even from himself, remained steadfast in his inauthenticity. His face was a picture of peace; eyes closed and lips softly parted, exposed chest rising and falling with slow breaths. She landed a kiss on the hilt of his cheekbone, the sweet wafting scent of vodka and strawberries emanating from her mouth that swilled all through him like he’d thrown back a shot hisself. He buzzed all over, electrified with bright consciousness, until she quietly departed to prepare for bed in the bathroom.

Somewhere in the stir of nightfall, sleep had taken him restlessly and held him bound for a few hours before he rose with the dawn. He checked the clock at his bedside; it was just after 7. On his other side, Kylie went on sleeping, the booze strapping her down to the mattress as though by force. Her blonde hair fanned out in a halo on the pillow like a Norse goddess, her face scrubbed of make-up giving her round cheeks and delicate features the unsullied look of a girl far younger than she really was, heart-shaped lips parted in blissful ignorance. He turned away, reckoning with guilt. Though he would have to continue to lie to her, this somehow felt easier than coming clean. He worried they would not survive the blatant act of betrayal, and Kylie would never be able to go on in the informed circumstance of his former relationship with Alex. She would be jealous, insecure, hurt. Then he would have neither of them. Wasn’t it better this way?

Showering and dressing in silence, he watched the sun pull up a blind from Central Park, fastening a glossy casing over even the duskiest parts of the city. Without turning back, he slipped from the hotel room and out into the loving façade. For some reason he felt obligated not to show up empty-handed, as though he had been invited to a second formal dinner and didn’t want to be caught out twice. So, after catching an Uber close to the address Alex’d given him, he armed himself with a coffee a piece from the vendor a block over. He hoped her sticky-sweet order was still the same. Then, hat and hood pulled up and sunglasses pulled down to avoid any stray fan detections, he made his way to the location with a few minutes to spare.

A dance studio silently awaited him, and upon gazing up at the iron lettering standing proud atop the double doorframe, he experienced a bite of nerves sharper than any he’d ever felt before. He almost flinched at the unfamiliar sensation. His cheeks were whipped red with the cold weather, but inside he burned like a wildfire. Zach knew nerves: he had swallowed jitters before performing to 50,000 people, before millions worldwide, but this was different. This was a disease all its own. Detecting no obvious signs of life from the inside, Zach tried his luck with a simple push upon the large doors. They popped open. He breathed, singular and deep, then stepped inside. As he navigated the lobby to the winding corridors hidden beyond it, he followed a faint path of light, like Alex illuminated places as she went.

And so she did. He found her alone in an abandoned studio hall, only one of the seventeen lights activated, framing her like a heavenly beam. He stopped dead in the hallway, the coffees hanging useless in his clasped hands like television props. She looked tiny, beautiful like a curse. Her melted dark hair was once again pulled away from her face and neck, leaving only suggestive waves hanging around her forehead, cheekbones and jaw, and she was clad in pieces that seemed as delicate and as light as the moments they hovered between. Zach entered, clearing his throat and holding out the paper cup. “Morning, Miss Burton,” he rasped in the parody of one of her students, his voice suffering from being unutilized for so many hours. Even as he spoke having approached it all with a lightness, their reality began to settle on him. A little lower now, he approached further still, sentiment gripping him by the throat. “I had to convince myself I would never see you again,” he admitted in a low voice, his honesty surprising even him. “So I would stop fantasizing about how it would go. But, this…” He trailed off, their eyes meeting stopping the whole world in an instant. “It’s so fucking good to see you, Alex,” he breathed.

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

✨Ultimis Richtofen Things✨to Expect in a Relationship🧪🧸🇩🇪🌹

*All Richtofens in general are an enigma. They are layered with secrets and burdens one can’t bear to live with. Ultimis may appear very childish at times, yet he is so level-headed and methodical in his ways. He is a sensitive soul barricaded by layers of angst. For someone who claims to love pain, he can barely handle it on the receiving end.

*In the beginning, he really tries hard to pour on his charisma. Granted, he does truly feel happy with you! But he isn’t so sure how the cards align for the future. Happy achievements aren’t so common for him in the social department. So he figures to just “enjoy the ride while he still can”.

*But one day, you find him extremely stressed to a trembling state. He can’t even look at you. The voices told him not to. All of a sudden, he was acting much more mean-spirited than usual. A lot was happening to him inside. It didn’t excuse everything, but you felt awful to see him crumble. Despite how he treated you, you stayed there with him. You showed him the compassion that nobody else ever did. That alone is what changed everything for the better. Maybe blessings do exist after all.

Now that the heavier matters are out of the way, IT’S TIME FOR THE HAPPY STUFF YAAAAAY!

*With the two of you in an established relationship, he’s much calmer around you. You provide a sense of comfort for him. He would never admit it but he’s always longed for gentleness in his life. He just didn’t think he was worthy of it. Also, being a chaotic drama queen is funny.

*But you two are a power couple. When the going gets tough, you both will make it through.

*You are his pride and joy. His one and only. He will spoil you at the drop of a hat. Granted, he does have a big ego and it does need to be in check every now and then. But he otherwise does his absolute best to make you his priority.

*Very affectionate. Edward will not hesitate to show PDA because he treasures you so much. He’s also incredibly touch-starved. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind. If you’re short enough, he rests his chin on top of your head. Cuddles and kisses must be scheduled daily.

*He never fails to make you laugh with witty one-liners throughout the day. He absolutely knows how to say the the right thing almost every time. Richtofen always immediately turns to you expecting to see you giggle at his antics.

*Now that I mention it, Richtofen learns that he enjoys making you happy way more than making others feel pain. The way your face lights up with exuberant joy makes him feel happy too. It’s best expressed through acts of service, physical touch and quality time. Richtofen’s playful spirit is also quite helpful if he’s feeling it.

*Please please PLEASE annoy Dempsey with him!! It’s funny, ja?! He’ll persuade you reasons to join in the banter on his side. It also helps to know you’ll be able to find comebacks if the marine is able to hurt Richtofen’s feelings a bit too much. The look on that stupid American’s face is priceless. I HATE YOU DEMPSEY (totally not written by Richtofen)

*In his words, he likes to “stir the pot” when it comes to drama. So you also are talked into driving the others crazy. Either by him suddenly trying to make out of nowhere or by taking the crawlers out for a walk on a leash. Just outright ridiculous stunts.

Nikolai: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOG?!

Richtofen: It don’t bite :)

Nikolai: YES IT DO-

*Dr.Richtofen is a scientist first and foremost. So you often follow him to the lab/his work place to keep him company. If you aren’t observing his work, then you’re helping him so as long as it doesn’t involve you getting hurt. Perhaps he’ll consider engraving your name to your own Wundewaffe-DG2 to own.

*If the apocalypse ends/if this is a modern au timeline, he hopes to do everything with you. He is more excited to see the world with you by his side. Whether it be attending events or going to a night on the town, he is happy to appreciate the good in the world. Side note: I think he would enjoy watching theatre shows/plays. He did once quote that he considered being on the stage at some point in his life.

*Somehow, he will find a way to drag you into trouble with him. The only rabbit of betrayal planned for you is to trick you into giving him what he wants. He will find a way to gain ultimate power of the Aether while still keeping you alive.

*He’s not exactly a guard dog but he knows how to protect you in his own way. Usually he does things in the background so the perpetrator won’t notice any traps until it’s too late. Unless it’s more direct immediate danger, which then he’ll make a scene. You will always have someone who looks out for you to stay safe or to feel better if you’re getting picked on in any way. Did I mention he hisses?

*I’m not going to ignore his horny talk. He unexpectedly enjoys the much sweeter intimacy more, but he does love to get *ahem* primitive. Especially with you. And he has a very high drive so have fun with that. But you may want to tell him no to adding any zombies to the mix.

*Nicknames for you include, but are not limited to: Liebchen, meine liebe, schmoopy boo, schmoopy, engel, dearest sunflower, Aether King/Queen, mäuschen

*Edward does engage in a lot of intelligent conversation with you. You’re the only one that truly cares to listen. It isn’t always about his work at Group 935 or physics rants. But the two of you learn a lot from each other through various topics.

*He is very eccentric most of the time. But when you’re alone, it feels surreal to see him as a completely different person. The way Edward has this sehnsucht in his eyes. He feels safe being around you. He does surprise you with a quiet, tenderhearted waltz to a nearby record. Or maybe it’s the way he hugs you and kisses the top of your head.

*Either way, he always keeps it interesting. You never know if today will be a calm Richtofen or a zany scientist. But you know you wouldn’t trade him for the world❤️💙

[frogspawned]

this is such incredibly poor reasoning. biden is actively alienating his own party, you know, the thing he needs to have behind him to win, the people who want him to win this fucked up binary of bad options, to appeal to people who absolutely will not vote for him. who cares if they are stirred up! they don't like him anyways! they were never going to be swayed to the left, particularly in the current extremely polarized political climate in the united states. you're alienating your base for ZERO return. why are mainstream democrats always pulling this same tired routine? it has NEVER worked! you're just cutting away your own support, like some idiot sawing at his own rope while dangling over a cliff, because some of the other guy's might slip loose (spoiler they won't).

if trump wants to be the most pro-israel president in history, why are you competing with him for it? let him fucking die on that hill. your actual voters, your staff, the whole fucking world world are all BEGGING you to get off the hill.

"my opponent wants to wear the shit crown, but gosh, his followers -- who hate me viscerally and will never support me under any circumstances -- won't like it if i don't fight for the shit crown. oh well! guess i better wear it first!"

i'm already holding my fucking nose knowing i'm going to have to vote for this joke, because the alternative is the the same but worse! at least i can try to shame biden, and pressure him! we've moved the needle incrementally, and the momentum is building. too slow, but it is. the us abstained for the last UN vote for ceasefire. which is not enough, laughably paltry by any stretch, but at least it's creeping in the right direction. trump's going to continue to fund israel's war machine gleefully, with no hold's barred, if not ramp it up. he will actively enjoy any protest as red meat for his followers. because then he can whinge and posture and puff himself up. biden has an emotional attachment to the idea of israel? who gives a shit joe! maybe one should care more about the reality than the idea, and the reality is undeniable at this point. it's standing stark and naked before the world.

the reality is the united states has poured BILLIONS into a genocide machine who openly celebrates ethnic cleansing. idf soldiers put up selfies and funny tiktoks, and loot the homes of the palestinians they've slaughtered for the crime of existing on land they want. idf snipers target aid workers and doctors and children. they block food and medicine. they blow up trucks of flour. this is not speculation -- even if someone doesn't believe what their own eyes can see, every day, of the horrors pouring out of palestine, then take israel's word for it. they're proud of what their doing. they celebrate it. they snipe old women and beat old men to death, use children as bait for ambulance drivers, tear down homes and temples and mosques and centuries old olive groves then post it for their friends and family to see. they actively corroborate their own war crimes on tiktok.

but because it's easy, because the us has always done it, because it makes money for contractors and makes evangelicals giddy about the apocalypse, we'll just continue to pour anti tank rounds into their hands, missiles, drones, whatever tools they need to """mow the grass"""" in gaza. the military industrial complex has the us in an inescapable chokehold, in every facet of our lives, and god forbid we stop throwing lives and money and blood down the endless money hole. they might stop bombing people if we stop sending them bombs! and then how will israel sell that prime beach front property?

and in a decade we'll wring our hands and coo about what a tragedy it was, how sad, how inevitable, and throw up a fucking memorial in some park so we'll never forget.

[animehouse-moe]

Hi ! I was wondering why weren't you reviewing jjk episodes anymore ? I loved reading your thoughts about the anime and I can't find other reviewers like you 😓

Love your blog !

First of all, thank you for the kinds words! Second of all, it's a bit of a complicated affair.

I think there are a lot of triumphant moments in this second season of JJK for the animators. I think a lot have done work that really can't be described as anything else other than a miracle in the context of this season.

But you sort of reach this fork in the road with those efforts, and neither is really where I want to end up.

The first option is praising the animators for their work. There's a lot of great work in the season. Not a mountain of work that I really think fits the context of JJK that well (and also severely messes with power scaling), but work that is undeniably well animated and executed.

The second option is to disparage MAPPA for their approach and behavior surrounding the production of this season. Front-loading staff to provide something presentable, or going in the opposite direction and putting animators in the position of having to work with the bare minimum to achieve a level of animation quality that is satisfactory for the studio (see the total lack of color and composition/lighting in episodes like episode 17).

What's challenging is that with both approaches, you'll both anger and upset people, as well as add fuel to the fire.

If you praise the animators for their work, people will immediately attribute that to Mappa, or justify the conditions due to the work being put out. Not like every other studio is a saint, but there's a reason that Mappa's been in the hot seat vs anybody else out there.

If you disparage the work of the studio, people do the inverse of what I just said, targeting the work of the animators themselves.

So it ends up this catch 22 that will always bother people and give others the ammunition to justify or disparage things based on their personal view of the situation.

In terms of more personal reasons, I think this season's just sort of been a struggle for me in general. I was a bit of a doomer right from the moment that Park was no longer associated with the project, so I haven't had the greatest headspace to really engage with the season. As this season's gone on, that mentality has only really worsened as it essentially revolves around finding good animators to get you from scene to scene. The moment that a not-so-great animator is present, the thing just sort of falls apart.

And then there's the story. It's such a funny thing, and in a way reminds me of Chainsaw Man. It's hard to really draw the line in terms of which staff member's influence it is (director/series composition/etc), but there's a few shadowy hands at play behind the season in ways that sour it for me.

The overall idea stays the same, they'd be crucified for doing anything to the core, so it's all these little details that get changed around. Poses or key interactions, even things as bold as the order of events. There is a hand that stirs a pot with these smaller details in a way that makes me question why. They don't feel necessary, but the approach feels like the person behind them felt they were needed. It's a weird greed in approaching the content.

A lot of people get up in arms when stuff gets changed period, and those people are sort of weird. Because of them though, the viewer's ability to challenge the creative input behind the adaptation becomes moot, and I don't think that's great. People can mess up, people can be too focused on their own interpretation and ideas, and viewers should be allowed to speak on those things and criticize them.

Anyways, bringing it full circle. I was already just barely holding on when this season started, and since then that thread of interest has been severed in really talking about Jujutsu Kaisen. Nuance no longer exists, criticism is either entirely baseless or used to attack individuals, praise always goes to the wrong people. If I were to point my reasoning in a single direction, I'd say it's largely got to do with the outlook and ideas of not just fans of Jujutsu Kaisen, but the average anime fan in general currently.

Not that I can't handle hate or harassment or anything, but when my entire idea behind doing these things is to engage the community in discussion surrounding something, and all that comes back is the equivalent of monkeys at a typewriter, it's just... tiring.

Learning more about production is incredibly important and should be fostered and encouraged within the community. But it's just so, so bad where people choose to stand in terms of learning. You either get people that know a few things and weaponize them to justify their personal (and biased) opinions, or the extremes in the sakuga-head territory that gatekeep and delight in sniffing their own farts like that South Park episode. It's hard to really find justification to discuss things in a public space when so few people occupy a reasonable position.

[itshardcandy]

Strawberry Flavour - Part 3

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader, Park Jimin x Reader, Min Yoongi & Reader

Genre: Fluff, F2L,

Warnings: some slightly illegal activities (Vandalism but more funny than trashy), kissing, love triangle if that's considered a warning for anyone, bad punctuation!!!!!

Chapter summary: Jimin feels bad, you feel bad. Jin is trying his best.

Author's Note: lol sorry I know this one is a long time coming. If anyone is even still interested it's here now 😭

___________

The next morning was a blur. You had no time to think about last night’s events and it appeared as though Jimin either didn’t remember or had decided to act like it didn’t happen. Which was fine for you because for now you had other problems to worry about. You needed to get more dough prepared and check all the equipment again, before you would leave for the second day of the festival. Jimin helped you carry the big ingredient sacks to the kitchen from the back and then proceeded to busy himself with the tools while you took care of the dough preparation. You worked in silence until it was time to go and set up the booth again.

Now that you already had done it one time before, it took less time to get everything set up and prepared for the day and you had a little bit more free time before the festival opened its metaphorical gates again. Jimin polished the display case, while you watched the other vendors set up. Letting your eyes wander, your gaze landed on Fluffy Clouds’ set up and you spotted Lucas and Baekhyun carrying some stuff around. Your mood immediately soured and you sighed, catching Jimin’s attention,

“Do you think people would get suspicious if Baekhyun just didn’t show up for the last day tomorrow?”

You asked, indulging in some innocent abduction fantasies, involving your nemesis,

“Yes, I definitely think so, YN”,

Jimin said,

“And I also think there could be some hypothetical traces and evidence leading up to our involvement in his hypothetical absence in future town-organized events and… life in general”

He added and carefully gauged your reaction,

“Ugh, I guess…”

you grumbled and turned back around to face Jimin,

“I’m so sick of them just existing near us”

You sighed and Jimin chuckled silently,

“I’m not sure what we can do about that”

He said and you absentmindedly poked around the dough with a wooden spoon,

“Yeah, I know…”

Another pouty glance at your adversary’s set up gave you pause for another reason than unbridled hatred; it was confusion.

Jin stood at the booth, leaning on the wooden structure, and looking relaxed as ever as he was casually striking up a conversation with Lucas and Baekhyun. Was it really him? You were squinting hard to confirm your suspicion and the results came back positive.

Why would he knowingly canoodle with the enemy? It looked like a friendly chat and a successful one, at that. You knew Jin inside out and he was definitely sporting his dad-joke pose, getting ready to wow the two men with his endless repertoire of the lamest jokes ever invented.

Next to you, Jimin followed your line of sight, eyes widening in recognition, when he spotted the line of Jin’s broad shoulders,

“What’s he doing over there?”

He asked, wiping his hands on a towel,

“I don’t know…”

You replied and stopped your dough-stirring. Sadly, they were too far away to eavesdrop on the conversation. The only thing loud enough to decipher was Jin’s laugh,

“It’s making me nervous, Jimin. Why would he go talk to them when he knows how they treat us? Is this just a friendly visit to the competition, a spy mission or did he just forget that they are number one on our most undesirable list?”

You speculated and Jimin stayed silent, simply choosing to observe. A few minutes of awkward and not very well concealed espionage went on until you saw Jin waving goodbye to the Fluffy Fools and stroll over in the direction of yours and Jimin’s booth. He didn’t stop, however, just passed by and greeted you with a simple but powerful wink and kept walking.

What was he up to?

Despite the rocky start, your rice cake sales went up a little higher than the day before. You and Jimin fell into a manageable rhythm of working the display and keeping up with the demand and by the end of the day, you were counting a nice stack of profit.

Jimin was cleaning up and putting away all the utensils and tools and you took care of the leftover food. After the busy day you had, with customers ordering rice cake after rice cake and screaming children running around the area, it was nice to work in silence for a little while. That silence wasn’t a hundred percent relaxed but both of you were too exhausted to acknowledge the awkward tension that still lingered between you two after the kiss. It would have to wait until both of you were in the right headspace to talk it out; maybe after the festival. For now, you stored the money safely and Jimin finished up packing,

“Knock knock”

You looked up, mouth hanging open in surprise,

“Jin, what are you doing here?”

You asked, getting up and taking off your apron. Jimin greeted the man with a simple nod,

“I was just passing by”

Jin said and shrugged,

“Like you were passing by Fuffy Clouds earlier?”

You asked, trying to keep the accusatory tone to a minimum. Jin just giggled like he usually did with his shoulders shaking. He knew he struck a chord when he approached them this morning but it was all for a good cause, you’d see soon enough,

“Calm down, no need to throw hands”,

He casually leaned against the support beam and folded his hands,

“I was just checking out their stuff”,

“Checking out their stuff? You had your dad joke face on, I saw it! You made friendly conversation!”,

“Woah, no need to say the f-word here, ok?”

Jimin popped up from behind and calmly put a hand on your shoulder,

“I’m sure it was nothing”

He said and Jin nodded in agreement,

“Exactly! - Well… actually, I had a very good reason to go over there, which I would have told you about in due time, if you hadn’t accused me of fraternising with the enemy”

He explained and you pursed your lips. Ok, maybe you could have let him speak first before putting him on trial but this was a sore subject for you,

“Anyway… “

Jin needlessly dragged out the -y-,

“I was actually about to ask you to follow me…”

He said, after it was clear that you would let him elaborate,

“Inconspicuously… “

He added, lifting his brow suggestively.

You regarded him curiously. He didn’t move an inch, keeping his smile and his posture until you decided to grace him with a reply,

“Follow you where?”,

“We were actually planning to-“

Jimin started to say from the back but Jin interrupted him,

“I was planning on stealing YN away for a little while. You can go home already I’ll walk her back later”

Jin answered and Jimin was visibly shook. Well, visible to you, at least,

“Oh, ok… well then I guess YN, will come home late tonight”,

“YN will do whatever YN wants because people can make their own decisions, even if they are talked about as if they aren’t present”

You said and both men coughed awkwardly,

“Of course… we didn’t mean to talk over you”

Jimin mumbled and Jin agreed with a silent nod, then went right back to being himself,

“So, pack up and let’s get going!”

He clapped his hands together and you guessed the case was closed. You sighed and grabbed your bag, ready to head out,

“Jimin, are you ok with locking up later?”

You asked before stepping outside,

“Don’t worry about it, go have some fun”

Jimin said with his back turned to you,

“Ok, see you later”

Something about that interaction made you feel a little conflicted,

“Ok, Jin, I’m ready to –“,

“Actually, we should wait 5 more minutes, just to be safe”,

“What’s that supposed to mean?”,

“Nothing, nothing”

Jin mumbled and turned his head around nervously in every direction before smiling at you reassuringly,

“Like Jimin said, don’t worry about it”

“Jin, you know I don’t really do well with this mysterious spontaneous-“

“Ok, now! Go, go, follow me!”

Jin suddenly dashed away, pulling you with him, across the dimly lit and deserted open festival area until you squeezed in between a Plushie shooting range and an apple bobbing stand,

“What the heck?”

You blurted out but Jin slapped his hand across your mouth,

“Shh!”

He held a finger to his mouth and signalled you to stay quiet, just as a security guard was passing by, whistling and lazily swinging his flashlight around. You stared at Jin, a little annoyed at the secret agent agenda he had going on but you would be lying if you sad it wasn’t also a little exciting.

The guard kept on walking and making his rounds and Jin let go of you,

“Sorry but I couldn’t risk it”

He whispered,

“It’s fine. What are you getting us into here, though? Is this going to get me in trouble? I can’t risk losing the booth, Jimin would be so disappointed because we’ve worked so hard to- hmpf”

Jin covered up your mouth again, cutting you off mid-sentence,

“Calm down Strawberry Flavour, we’re just going to have some innocent fun”

He said and you nodded,

“Maybe it will be at someone else’s expense but that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun”

He added and you slapped his shoulder,

“Ouch!”,

“Jin! What do you mean at someone else’s expense?”,

Jin sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes,

“Can’t you just trust me?”,

“Obviously not”,

“Ok, then… let’s get closer to the booth and I’ll show you”,

“Ugh, ok”

You both checked for another guard or some other possible witness and then continued your approach at a brisk pace. The place was still abandoned and only the sounds from outside the area could be heard. People were probably partying down on the promenade and the beach, like they did last night, too.

“You know, I wasn’t really just checking out their stuff,”

Jin started to say as your steps came to a halt in front of Fluffy Clouds’ booth.

He whispered ominously as he let his backpack slide down from his shoulder,

“I was actually studying the booth for structural weaknesses and asses the best point of entry so we could….”

He pulled the zipper down on the side of the backpack and pulled out five cans of string cheese and a crowbar,

“Have some innocent fun”

A maniacal laugh exploded from him and he dramatically lifted his hands in the air, as you examined one of the string cheese spray cans in your hands. A sudden fit of coughs interrupted your reverence and you looked up at Jin, who was hitting his chest while he choked on his laughter,

“You ok there, Bud?”

You asked, regarding him with raised brows until he calmed down,

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine”

He took one deep breath and flipped one of the cans in his hand, like he was some kind of cool teen with a passion for skating,

“So, we doin’ this or not?”,

“I hate, that I’m actually considering doing this”

You sighed,

“Let’s do this”

_________

 

Half an hour and some thorough vandalization later Jin and you were admiring your handiwork. The string cheese was holding up nicely and the crowbar had helped you in dismantling a few non-essential items. Nothing dangerous, of course. Well, Jin had kept you from loosening the overhead beams because he didn’t want to be responsible for two deaths but still. He thought his state-of-the-art method of helping you vent had been implemented successfully as he watched you smile to yourself,

“You feeling any better?”

He asked, filling his backpack up with the empty cans and the crowbar. You lifted your arms over your head, stretching yourself and let out a deep breath,

“I think so. I didn’t think this would end up being so much fun. I thought I’d just feel guilty the whole time”

You happily admitted as you stretched your neck a little bit.

Darkness had started to roll in as dusk approached nightfall quickly and the dim lights that were placed in between all the booths and attractions didn’t actually do much to properly light up the area.

Under cover of darkness, Jin let his eyes roam over your body as you proudly took one last look at your masterpiece.

“You know, I think they might suspect foul play when they come back tomorrow and find all of this.”

You say and Jin just shrugs behind you,

“Eh, whatever, there’s no cameras here and I doubt the police will launch an official investigation for a small festival booth that’ll be gone by the end of the week anyway.”,

“You’re probably right. God it’ll be so satisfying to see their stupid faces tomorrow,”

You turn around with a dreamy look on your face and Jin hoists the backpack over his shoulder,

“I sure hope so, that cheese cost me a fortune.”

He comments and you smile, laying your head on his shoulder.

“I’ll pay you back in chicken,”

You promise as you both get going and Jin nods,

“That’s acceptable.”

He agrees to your offer to repay him, making sure to check for the security guard before you sneak around the several booths and rides and swiftly exit the festival area.

“Seriously, thank you for roping me into this. I honestly never thought a life of crime would be for me but I think I see the appeal now”,

You said and bumped your shoulder into Jin’s affectionately.

“I knew you’d appreciate my evil genius eventually, Strawberry Flavour, even if it took you this long.”

Jin answered as he popped a cashew in his mouth and held the bag to you to take one, too. It wasn’t a long walk from the beach back into civilisation and the fresh air and calm atmosphere were a nice change after the hectic and eventful day you’ve had so far.

“I never pegged you as the rebellious type.”

You poke fun at him as your eyes roam over the open landscape that separates the beach from town. Jin smiles at your comment and throws a nut in the air only to catch it with his mouth.

“I’m full of surprises”,

He winks.

“Yeah, apparently. Why don’t you use some of the genius at work when Areum is making your life hell?”

You ask jokingly and grab another handful of cashews from the small bag.

“And use my evil powers on a little girl? Wow, I thought I was the shameless one but you have a dark side as well, huh?”

Jin replied and you smiled sheepishly,

“I guess we confirmed that today”,

“True.”

The summer night breeze flowing in from the coast slowly cooled down the heated land and had you shivering deliciously as you approached the edge of town slowly but surely.

--------

As you walked along the side of the road, under the light of the street lamps and the shadows stretching in between them, silence fell over the two of you, which was a rare occasion.

The shop and your apartment were only a few minutes away now.

 

Usually, when you were with Jin, you would just say whatever was on your mind and so would he. Both of you had no filter and very little speech impulse control around each other, for better or worse, but for sure entertaining.

Right now, however, it seemed like neither you nor him wanted to disturb the comfortable silence until you rounded a corner and your place came into view.

Comfortable was a fitting description, you thought, as you regarded Jin from the corner of your eye. You always felt comfortable around him and there was never a need to pretend and hide parts of yourself when you were together.

Like right now.

There was no need to talk and keep up pretentious small talk because just keeping each other company was enough. The friendship you had built in the time from meeting for the first time and now was precious and moments like these made you appreciate it even more.

Moments like these, when the wind carried the scent of Jin’s perfume over to you and it lulled you in; when your steps automatically gravitated towards each other and your shoulders touched occasionally.

Moments when your hands brushed against the other’s and somehow your fingers found their way into holding on and interlocking in a gentle grip.

Feeling his hand holding yours like it was the most natural thing had your cheeks heating up for reasons other than the warm weather.

You’d never held hands like this before and it felt… nice, you thought, as you leaned into Jin a little more.

It felt nice like that time in the kitchen, when he held you up to the high shelf with his arms around you, so you could grab the pan you needed.

You remember feeling warm in that scenario like you do right now and like you did last night after Jimin kissed you so unexpectedly.

The thought of it made you feel a little queasy, since that particular issue was still buried in depths of your mind and suddenly a wave of anxiety passed over you.

Oh god, why did you think of Jimin right now?

Your grip tightened on Jin’s hand out of reflex and he glanced at you, right as your expression shifted from blissfully ignorant to nervously worried.

“Strawberry Flavour, is everything ok? What are you making that face for?”

Jin asked while you approached the building. You fished your keys out of your bag when you came to a halt in front of the door and then turned around to face him.

“Ah, it’s nothing, I just- I have a lot on my mind, is all. These last few days have been great but also exhausting as hell.”

You confess, only telling him the half of the truth. He still hadn’t let go of your hand yet, not even when you had to look for your keys with one hand just seconds ago.

“Yeah, you and Jimin really worked hard. You deserve some rest for sure.”

Jin smiles encouragingly and you appreciate the thought.

“Definitely. My back is killing me but it’s not only that. I think I have some things to think about and figure out.”

You pout a little, starting to get lost in your thoughts again when Jin loudly exclaims his confusion,

“Huh? What do you mean by that? Is it about work?”

He asks and you shake your head.

“No, work is fine. I mean considering the circumstances. There’s this thing that happened the other night and I just really don’t know what to make of it but it’s important. If I just ignore it and pretend it never happened, it could end badly but if I confront it while I’m not sure about my thoughts and feelings it could also end badly, you know? It’s a mess really and I-“

Interrupted by your own thoughts you end your rant prematurely. Looking up at Jin’s still slightly confused face you realize that he might not be the ideal person to relay your conflicted feelings about the kiss to.

Lately you’ve been feeling a shift in your relationship with Jin as well and somehow it didn’t feel right to explain this thing that happened between you and Jimin to him.

Jin was a good friend to you but was that all he was…?

“And you…?”

Jin’s voice startled you back into the moment.

Looking up into his big, kind, brown eyes, you realize that maybe he should be part of it. If these butterflies you’ve been feeling and that warm fuzzy feeling inside you were any indication, then he probably deserved to know that you were extremely confused right now.

And if you interpreted it all wrong then you would just have to live with it.

“Jimin kissed me last night. At home. He was drunk and I don’t think he meant to do it but he did and I don’t know what to feel.”

You blurted out and immediately went quiet again, trying to gouge Jin’s reaction.

The man in question, however, didn’t react immediately. Instead, he slowly let your words sink in and you watched the realization slowly set in.

“Jimin kissed you?”,

“Yes”,

“Was it like- I mean did he try anything else? Did he hurt-“

“NO! No, no he didn’t hurt me”

You gestured wildly to emphasise your answer,

“He would never hurt me, he just surprised me…”

You added, in normal volume this time.

“Ah, I see”,

Jin nodded as he visibly processed all this information and you could swear you saw a flash of hurt and disappointment in his eyes but it was gone in a second.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. His crush on you might as well be tattooed on his forehead”,

Jin’s smile looked a little strained and you couldn’t blame him.

Maybe you have been somewhat oblivious to a lot of things happening around you and maybe you even wanted to be ignorant towards it for a good while, too, but it was time to face the music.

“I’m sorry”

You bit your lip. Suddenly, as the conversation was about to turn serious, the dirt under your feet seemed very interesting.

“Why are you apologising? He kissed you, it happens. I just hope he takes good care of you, you deserve it, Strawberry Flavour. Just don’t forget about me when domestic bliss sets in, alright? I’ll still pester you about chicken every day at work”

Jin smiled so brightly, you could almost think he meant it all. He raised his hand to almost touch your face but pulled back in the last second and dropped it back at his side.

He sighed deeply and tightly shut his eyes for a second before shaking it off.

Hiking the backpack higher up his shoulder he stepped back.

“I’ll be going now, it’s getting late and I-“

No, no, this wasn’t the way you wanted it to go! You didn’t even get to say your piece yet!

“- should probably get home soon, I got an early shift in the-“,

“Ya!, Shut up for a second, will you? I wasn’t finished!”

You suddenly yelled, startling Jin into silence and surprising even yourself.

You slapped a hand over your mouth in shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell but you were about to leave”

You mumbled. Jin still looked a little taken aback but he didn’t move to leave.

“It’s ok”,

Jin’s voice was a little quieter than before. He placed his hands on the straps of the backpack and

“What else did you want to say?”

You took a deep breath and straightened up, filled by a sudden burst of determination and clarity.

“This whole thing with Jimin, that’s not what I’m sorry for”,

You started and weren’t surprised to find Jin still looking apprehensive and a little unsure. He looked down at his feet and started to speak before you could,

“YN, you really don’t need to explain yourself. What happened with Jimin-“,

“-Made me realize that I wanted it to be you!”,

Quickly, you finished his sentence and he looked up, surprised to be interrupted by you for the second time.

“Huh?”,

“It made me realize that I wanted it to be you, you numbnut, that’s what I wanted to apologize about!”

Slowly you regain your confidence and Jin seems to finally catch up on what you just said.

“I was going to say I’m sorry that that’s what it took for me to realize that I like you. And then tonight when you literally committed a crime for me, I think my brain short circuited and now we’re here.”

The explanation was a simple one but you hoped Jin would appreciate the contents over the brevity.

The man was still trying to comprehend what you just told him.

His face, now back to its usual expression of childlike innocence, also betrayed the rollercoaster of emotions he was experiencing right now.

A few seconds of silence passed by and you were beginning to feel restless,

“Jin, say something”,

He blinked a couple of times, then slowly let the backpack slide down his arms as he stepped towards you.

“Sorry, I just need to hear you say that again.”

He cupped your face in his hands, smooshing your cheeks together in an absurd fashion.

“Icantthpheaklikethis”,

You mumble but Jin doesn’t let up. He punches your skin with his thumbs and forefingers,

“Come on, Strawberry Flavour, I’m hard of hearing”,

“Ugh!”

You grab his hands and pull them away from your face dramatically before taking a deep breath to prepare to yell in his face yet again.

Jin shakes your hands off and grabs your face again before he closes the distance between you and presses his lips to yours. Probably a little harder than intended.

You’re not even mad you didn’t get to yell at him as your brain struggles to register the feeling of his plush lips on yours.

Your eyes fall closed after the initial shock and you fall into him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer to you just as he wraps his arms around you.

Faintly you register your back bumping against the glass doors of the shop and your feet stumbling around to keep from falling over but it all fades into the background pretty quickly.

Only when Jin pulls back just a little for some air, do you regain control over your rational mind.

“JIN!”

You hiss and push at his chest in an effort to create some distance. Jin doesn’t move an inch and only chuckles.

“What?”,

“You interrupted me!”,

“True but in the best way possible, though”,

“I swear to god, you are so-“,

“Handsome? Lovable? An amazing kisser? Ah, Strawberry Flavour, I know, no need to tell me”

He was back to his usual shameless self and you regretted everything immediately.

But not really.

You pulled him into another kiss and gently cradled his face as he held you tightly.

“Yeah, all of those actually”

You admitted with heated cheeks but without a hint of sarcasm and Jin smiled against your lips.

Finally, he thought, finally he could kiss you and hold you and tell you all those disgustingly sweet things he’s been holding inside all this time.

There were probably still a lot of things left unsaid and you and him needed time to unpack it all and do it right but for now he just wanted to hold you close and kiss your breath away before he let you go.

As you enjoyed the moment and giggled quietly like lovesick teenagers, a small detail went unnoticed.

It was Jimin, walking dejectedly back up the stairs in the back of the shop in the dark. While you and Jin had your dramatic little moment, Jimin was woken up by the sound of someone yelling outside and something bumping into the shop doors. As he went downstairs to check on the commotion, he saw you both standing outside, illuminated by the soft glow of a distant street lamp. Instead of a drunk guy causing a ruckus he found you and Jin a position he never wanted to imagine you in.

He should have waited, should have controlled himself better. He should have known that a drunken kiss in the hallway in the middle of the night was definitely not the way to win your heart but he just couldn’t help himself.

Maybe, if he had done things differently, done things right, it could have been you and him.

He slowly hiked up the stairs and wen back to his room, knowing he’d probably be unable to fall back asleep for the foreseeable future.

[psychewritesbs]

What are your thoughts on Gojo's dynamic with Nanami and Utahime?

It seems that Gege listed some hints that Gojo may like them romantically but alas this was according to shippers themselves and it's unclear whether the official material was meant to interpreted that way or if it was just a funny thing thrown around. Regardless i just wanna add my cents here, the show really keeps denying that Gojo will ever be romantically interested in any of these characters asides from possibly Geto but at the same time it acknowledges that fans like various relationships so it feeds them these irrelevant crumbs. That's why i ask for your opinion on their dynamic, if you're comfortable answering this ofc!

HOLA ANON!

Listen... not only is my blog psychology-focused, there's a reason I have not really made any shippy posts about jjk. I've gone to town gushing about seisub, soma, kurofai and asucaga before. But those ships exist in old fandoms where there is a prevalent agreement and support about and for the ship.

jjk tho... the topic of shipping in jjk is a dangerous landmine regardless of who you ship for many different reasons.

That said, apologies if this wasn't your intention, but the way you worded your ask made it smell like bait from about three miles away, and I have been debating about what I want to say to you ever since I received it. Moots told me to just drop it but I found that I didn't want to drop it precisely because it feels like bait.

So basically, because 3 our of 4 moots I have shown your ask to agree that this is bait, I am going to respond in kind and will give you the least satisfying answer ever under the cut.

You have been warned...

jk anon, sorry for the click bait...

It's not that I'm going to give you a dissatisfying answer, it's that I don't want to participate in shipping wars 🤷‍♀️ and I feel like I am being dragged into one with this ask.

The truth is, I'm too old for shipping wars and avoid them like the plague to the best of my ability and for my own mental sanity... And one of the things that really gets under my skin is gatekeeping in shipping, which admittedly means I am probably being a hypocrite about it. Gotta work on that.

At this stage in my life tho, I am more interested in being able to both celebrate what I love instead of focusing on what I don't like, or on holding two contradictory truths at once rather than to take sides and claim one side is right and the other side is wrong.

To that point, lately I've heard a lot of people say it's not ok to be neutral. To that I say that polarized thinking is a sign of lack of experience and an unwillingness to be open to another point of view. I say this from experience, not because I'm judging anyone.

Been there, done that.

Like I was an idiot back in the day for thinking I couldn't like both Maya Sakamoto and Utada Hikaru. Like... what a clown 🤡 to think I HAD TO PICK ONE and could only like one of them lmao.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming you love stsg because of the way you frame the ask around how Geto seems to be the one person whom Gege hints at being the most likely that Gojo would be "romantically interested in".

On the other hand, you also tell me that shipping Gojo with other characters is based on what looks to you like irrelevant breadcrumbs.

Now, before I keep going, what follows is my personal opinion, and I do not claim to own the objective truth about this topic.

In fact, I am very aware that there is no right answer to your ask, and that whatever I answer can stir unnecessary shit up because, not only is this topic sensitive because that's the state of shipping in jjk fandom, but the ask itself feels like its baiting me to give an answer someone knows they aren't going to like.

Very machiuvelical of you anon 😏 I see you!

So either I'm paranoid af, or you're not very good at pretending you are genuinely confused because "it's unclear whether the official material was meant to be interpreted that way or if it was just a funny thing thrown around".

Come the fuck on... 😂

First, you sent an ask to someone who understands mind games; and second, it's perfectly ok to say you don't like the other two ships.

But again, I have also said things in a way that was misinterpreted by others, so... benefit of the doubt here.

Thing is, if you love stsg, no one can take that away from you. Trust me, no one needs anyone's opinion to love ANY ship.

So, let's start with the hard stuff up front.

I ship stsg

I don't care if they are or aren't canon.

If others want to have this conversation and pull panels to back up why they think they are canon etc etc, good. This is not a conversation I care to have any longer because I realized I don't need Gege, or anyone for that matter, to tell me it's ok to ship a pairing--more on this later.

If you do, then, yeah, that's relatable and very understandable.

I also don't care if the jjk powerscaling bros can't accept that Gege has baked ambiguity into the dynamic, and that the cursed cat has recommended bl manga TWICE--thus hinting at the idea that Gege enjoys reading bl.

AND I also respect that there are those who truly see them only as friends. That's their business, you know? Why does their opinion matter if I ship them?

But, when I put on the rose-colored fujo glasses, I see it.

It's undeniable.

stsg is the jjk version of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle's kurofai.

But to be frank... I disagree with the idea that any evidence pointing at gjhm are "irrelevant breadcrumbs" that "shippers are throwing around".

Are they breadcrumbs? Yes. There isn't a whole lot of canonical evidence. But I also don't often hear gjhm shippers say things like "they're so canon" although I could be wrong.

So, are people throwing breadcrumbs around to be funny? This frankly makes it sound like you think very lowly of how some people choose to interpret certain panels.

Even if I give you the benefit of the doubt, this kinda sounds like you see yourself as better than... ?? because to you, its "unclear" how people can interpret the text as there being any ambiguity about the dynamic.

No it isn't 😂. It's clear as day. Come ooooooon.

Its ok to not like that Gege hinted at it AND it also doesn't make stsg any less important.

So are the breadcrumbs truly irrelevant? Only if you have an agenda.

Again, I am sorry if this isn't your intention, but calling them "irrelevant breadcrumbs" makes it sounds like there's an agenda geared at denying something you don't agree with. Which is SUPER relatable.

What I'll say is that, from the "breadcrumbs" Gege gave us about gjhm, I got the sense that, if there was some sort of romantic involvement between Gojo and Utahime that Gege is hinting at in the subtext, it was very bittersweet.

I'm totally not feeling like going and doing any research about this because there are plenty of gjhm shippers who have stated why the "breadcrumbs" make sense to them. AND I also think it's undeniable that there was something between them given the whole song lyrics related to her ct blablabla.

Denying this makes it sound like you're cherry picking what you think is and isn't subtext in the official work based on your shipping preferences.

Also, I don't personally ship gjhm but I have moots who do. As I said, I ship stsg AND I can also respect that others ship gjhm because two opposing ideas can coexist.

Anyways, with ch 236 in mind, in retrospect, what made gjhm undeniably bittersweet, was that Gojo was emotionally stunted in his teen years. This makes Gojo emotionally unavailable to ANYONE because he was stuck longing to be understood the way Geto once understood him, while simultaneously making himself hard to understand.

I think that if Gojo and Utahime were involved behind the scenes, this doesn't mean he didn't miss Geto or stopped loving him. The way I see it, he could very well have loved both. But again, that's my interpretation. It sounds like yours is different.

To me, Utahime isn't some sort of impediment for Gojo to love Geto and viceversa. This isn't a love triangle--Geto isn't even in the picture in their adult years.

That, and, the idea that we can only ever love one person is an unrealistic byproduct of the psychology of romantic love. And yet I can also understand why Gojo felt understood by Geto the most. I mean... Geto is the first person he sees when he dies.

This is so... beautiful.

So if you take the song lyrics hinted at in Uta's ct and put yourself in Utahime's shoes from the perspective of a gjhm shipper, you have a woman who is in a relational dynamic with someone who can't be present for her because he isn't present for himself to begin with.

I know you unironically think it's "a funny irrelevant thing being thrown around", but from how I'm interpreting this, that's not irrelevant or funny to me.

It's human tragedy, and it's sad af for all parties involved. And if you don't agree, you don't agree and that's ok. We can both agree to disagree.

Now, this is how I interpret gjhm based on that ONE specific breadcrumb. Which again, is anything but irrelevant unless your goal is to minimize someone else's perspective. For all I know, a gjhm fan reads this and doesn't agree with me.

For the record, I'm not saying you should change your mind about gjhm if you don't like the ship because you think Utahime truly hates Gojo's guts or that it's misogynistic to pair her with a man but perfectly ok to ship her with Shoko because somehow that makes it ok for her to be in a romantic relationship with someone else, or whatever reasons you might have.

I'm saying that you can love stsg AND simultaneously understand and respect that someone else would have a different opinion, even if you don't personally agree with it.

As for Nanami and Gojo... I mean... 🤷‍♀️

I guess if I put the fujo glasses on I can sort of see it. But again, why should anyone care about whether I agree with them or not? Like... when did I become the authority on shipping? 🤷‍♀️

I don't want that responsibility.

But, the most important thing I want to get across here, is that shipping is highly personal because there is a certain degree of self-insertion happening when we "ship".

So if you, or anyone for that matter, loves stsg, it's because you can see something about the dynamic reflected back at you that rings true to you.

You might say, "it's not that deep, I just see the official text and like what I saw." Which is also fair. But if it wasn't that deep, this ask wouldn't be something I was answering right now.

So, that's why to me, for MY answer to YOUR ask with the way it feels like bait, it's irrelevant whether the ships are canon or not. All that matters is that you, as a participant in this piece of media, can relate to the dynamic. And this is not to minimize whether "the official material is meant to be interpreted one way or another".

But again, cherry picking what we want to be subtext based on an agenda is a biased take.

All I am saying is that shipping is highly personal.

Again, if you don't like the "boy picks on girl" dynamic that gjhm has, it's because it's not for you. I have read what others have to say about not liking it and, honestly, good on y'all. Makes sense.

And if someone explains to me why gjhm makes sense to them, I am no one to tell them they are wrong to self-insert into this dynamic and explore what its potential means to them.

So, anon, I would much rather hear about why you love stsg.

If you want to talk to people who want to focus on hating gjhm or gojonana, or discussing why it's "funny irrelevant breadcrumbs thrown around", for whatever reasons you might have, I simply am not the right person.

All of this said, any further comments seeking to minimize any ship shall be ignored because I am not interested in contributing to shipping wars.

Enjoy stsg. It's a beautiful ship!

Thanks for stopping by, and sharing that bit of stsg love you did share with me. Again, sorry if I misinterpreted your intention, and if I didn't... idk.

All the love.