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samwrights · 5 years ago

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Pining After You [hc]

Just some Haikyuu!! head cannons about my favorites pining after the object of their affection—you. I’m gonna limit myself to only one Seijoh 3rd year >_> instead, I’m just gonna make Makki’s super long bc love.

I might turn these into one shots. I’m planning a special series to be released for the entire month of May—let me know what you guys think!

Hanamaki;

Ya know, with my last head cannon, I had such a hard time writing for Makki and now that’s all I wanna do.

Cause THIS BOI is too easy-going, too cool, to ever be blunt and up front about his feelings for you. He can’t ruin his image by stumbling over a confession.

Definitely has been in love with you since your guys’ first year—all thanks to your laugh.

Every time he hears you, even if said laugh is occasionally broken with a gentle, genuine snort, Makki feels every single electrical pulse being sent into his nerve endings.

It was a huge part of the reason that he had started owning the class clown trope, cracking jokes with his peers and even the teachers even though that definitely was not kosher. But his almost dry, sarcastic sense of humor always seemed to be rewarded with the angelic gift that was your laughter.

But he doesn’t know how to talk to you. At all.

He tries really hard not to stare at you, or at least tries not to make it super obvious and fails considering you sit on the opposite ends of the classroom

Makki always has lunch in Mattun’s classroom just so he can freely talk about something you did in class that made him laugh or smile, even if it was something stupid like you dropped your pencil or you raised your hand to answer a question.

In your third year, Mattsun is tIRED of it all.

“Just go fucking confess your feelings, I swear to gOD, or I’ll tell her.”

“Dude no, I can’t she’s way outta my league.”

Did I mention Mattsun is over it? So over it that one day, instead of waiting for his best friend to come to his classroom for lunch, he decides to pay yours a visit.

Makki’s freaking out because the fCK was Mattsun walking over to your desk?!

“She’s coming to our tournament this weekend, so bring your A game.” Was all he said before leaving the poor wing spiker to drown in the blood rising up his neck.

You weren’t friends with anyone on the VBC, but you did actually end up at the tournament with a few friends.

Exhilarating was the only way to describe it, up until Seijoh’s loss to Karasuno.

After the team thanked the spectators for watching, you noticed all the third years crying, signifying the end of their careers.

“Thank you for inviting me to watch, Matsukawa. It was really fun.” You said politely, approaching them afterwards.

Mattsun shoves his best friend towards you, “actually, he wanted to invite you. He just didn’t know how.”

Makki.exe has stopped working. He’s too busy spluttering because he literally has no idea what to say to you now. Cool boy? Not even close.

“I’ve actually wanted to come to one of your matches for awhile. I just thought it was weird because I’m not friends with any of you.”

Oh. O H.

“Y-you could’ve asked me...”

“I was hoping you’d ask me. Why do you think I always laugh at your jokes, Hanamaki?”

“Wait, does that mean you don’t think I’m actually funny?” 💀💀💀 Rip.

“I do. You’re funny, talented, handsome, and I’ve liked you since first year.”

Makki.exe has stopped working.

Akaashi;

Akaashi has studied everything he could about you without ever having actually interacted with you.

He knew you were in Bokuto’s class, he knew your name, and that the two of you interacted often, but never outside of the classroom.

He knew that you always carried your school bag over your left shoulder, and tucked your hair behind your right ear when you felt it was in your face.

Your energy somehow matched his best friend’s while simultaneously calming the owl captain like a gentle wave. You reminded Akaashi of the sun rising over the ocean.

Bokuto, oblivious to nearly everything, never realized that his best friend’s calculations went beyond analyzing the ace. One small section of his brain was dedicated to your ass.

Really, there wasn’t anything extraordinary about you, or at least that’s how you felt about yourself. But every time Akaashi swung by Bokuto’s class to walk with him to practice, his eyes were immediately drawn to you for .067 seconds before he’d look away, so as not to make you feel uncomfortable.

Once in a while, Bokuto would let small details about you slip, like how you were in the art club and that you had a showcase coming up displaying the portfolio you had built over the last three years.

He definitely didn’t ditch practice to be there for your showcase.

Showing up to the venue where the showcase was being held, he suddenly felt very under dressed seeing other third years and teachers adorning formal attire while he showed up in black jeans and a grey button up.

Wandering around the venue, Akaashi looked for you or your artwork, his breath held in his lungs when he saw the arsenal of works displayed on large black boards with your name written elegantly at the very top. Made with various mediums, he was stunned by different paintings and drawings of surreal, exquisite landscapes that could not possibly exist.

Then again, he didn’t think you were real either.

One particular painting invoked a strange emotion in him—a large, desecrated shipwreck amongst of field of bright flowers with the sun setting in the back. Titled “Crack The Sky”, the piece emanated joy and grief in one. It was almost as stunning as you were.

“This one’s my favorite.” You announced sheepishly from beside him and he realized he had never heard your voice before. The setter turned to look at you, drinking in your appearance up close for the first time. “You’re Bokuto’s friend, aren’t you? Akaashi?”

He was kinda hurt to hear you mention Bokuto for reasons unknown to himself jealous much?

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” He bows slightly, remember that no matter how infatuated he was with you, you were still his senpai.

He began walking with you as you explained the creation process of your different pieces. Not that he was actually paying attention, though he’d never admit that. He just liked hearing you talk and he would definitely never admit that.

You excuse yourself as your phone rings, though you don’t walk away, allowing him to hear your end of the conversation. “Yep, he’s here. I owe you dinner. You wanna talk to him?” Akaashi cocks a brow in your direction, staring at your cellphone that you’ve now held over to him. Bokuto’s name flashed on the screen.

“Uh, hi?” The setter asked, confused.

“I made a bet with her that you would ditch practice to go to her showcase because yOu LoVe HeR.”

Aight, imma head out.

Before he could run away out of embarrassment, you grabbed his wrist though you were still on the phone with Bokuto.

“Would you like to join us for dinner? Seems kinda unfair for him to get dinner when you’re the one who made the effort to be here.”

Akaashi graciously accepts to which you respond by telling Bokuto where you would meet him for the evening.

“So you love me, huh?” 💀💀💀 If Akaashi could magically disappear, he would. Or even better, if his blush ran hot enough to melt the skin off his face, that’d be great too.

But you never let go of his wrist until now, opting to wrap an arm around his instead.

“I like you too. Why do you think Bokuto and I made a bet about you coming here, silly?”

Kenma;

Poor Kenma. The worst part of his whole situation was actually being friends with you, knowing he would never get to have you.

Why would you want him, anyway? You were more fit for someone like Kuroo—someone who was as boisterous and confident as you were. He anticipated the day you two announced your relationship and left him behind in your little trio.

Not even Kuroo knew that he was in love with you and maybe that was a mistake on his part but he could never tell his best friend that you were his entire world. It was too embarrassing for him.

It took entirely too much energy to even sort through his feelings alone, how much more exhausting would it be for him to run through every single thing he felt about you to someone else?

Like the way you would nearly skip out your home every morning when the boys came to fetch you to walk to school together.

Or the way you unabashedly asked almost too personal of questions, or questions that were just soooo left field of you were friends with a person. “Hey Kuroo, how many brushes do you think you would break if you finally decided to brush your hair after 17 years?” Was one of Kenma’s favorites.

The way you sing along to every song that plays on your iPod or even the radio, even if you didn’t know the song, you would try to sing along anyway.

Some days, Kenma would look out the window and see you practicing some form of a dance routine in your backyard. He would watch you for hours until you went inside, suddenly feeling shame for being so creepy.

Nearly every night, Kenma just wished he could turn his feelings off while simultaneously wishing you were next to him so he could hold you while he slept.

Your smile was his favorite. Seeing you smile every morning as the three of you walked to school together was what got him through his day. “Hey, hey are you guys coming to my dance competition tomorrow?” You asked in your typical, jovial lilt.

“Of course.” Was all he was able to reply, while Kuroo enthusiastically responded about their attendance.

“Great! I can’t wait to see you guys in the crowd!”

The “C” word, was almost enough to make Kenna regret his decision to come. Even more so when he was surrounded by the masses, all waiting to watch their respective dance teams. But it was for you, and he would do anything for you.

Kuroo was right beside him, a small bouquet of roses in his hand to give to you after you competed. The blood red flowers made Kenna glower and glare in secret, or as secretive as he could be. “I got these for you.” The captain says quietly, handing them over to his best friend.

“Sorry, Kuroo, I can’t say I return your feelings—“

“For you to give to her, you idiot.” 🤡🤡🤡 “I’m not that dumb, Kenma.” The setter really wanted to argue and say that he was, but your school’s dance team was up to perform so he opted to stay quiet.

Have I mentioned that Kenma loves watching you dance? There was a reason he would watch you practice in your backyard. You moved with elegance and grace that was foreign and so opposite to his own demeanor, it was no wonder he was always so captivated by you.

After you compete, there’s a bit of downtime between the other competitors and the awards ceremony, giving you the chance to hang out with your besties.

“These are for you.” The second year says quietly, handing you the bouquet with a blush dusting over his cheeks. The red rivaled that of the roses.

“Aw, thank you, Kenma!” You squeaked out before giving him a kiss on the cheek, his skin burning even hotter. Kuroo’s just over there laughing but ya know.

During the awards ceremony, you’re sitting in a circle with your team not too far from your friends while they announced that Nekoma had taken first. Everyone in the dance troupe began screaming and hugging each other, while you ran straight to your boys.

While still jumping, you were hugging Kuroo so tight, arms squeezing around his neck while sharing the joy. Which made Kenma just a little bit jealous.

Just a little.

Until you’ve settled down from your jumping before wrapping your arms his neck as well. But rather than going for a hug—

Wait what is hAPOENING

You brought your lips to his briefly before burying your face into his neck out of embarrassment because wHY you had thought that was a good idea was beyond you.

Deciding you couldn’t just keep holding onto him, because he was probably embarrassed too, you stepped away, ready to run back to your team. But Kenma didn’t let go, his arms seated securely at your hips as he stared at you.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t know w-w—“

“I love you.”

Wanna see a specific character? Or a different head cannon? Want to see a whole story?

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clandestine-j · 3 years ago

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Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send.

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star.

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

#c;gg #gossip girl reboot #gossip girl hbo

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boogiewrites · 5 years ago

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Reports & Repertoire 17: Resentment & Return

Characters: Eddie Brock x Venom x Candace Miller (OFC)

Summary: Candy tries to find her way about the world after being roofied and hushed by the media. Eddie is hit with a strong dose of karma, and it's two against one.

Warnings/Tags: Angst. Talk of past trauma and drugging. Revenge plots. Violence and threats.

Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters.

On the navy comforter of her queen size bed, sat in the middle of her minimalist white and grey room, Candy sits with her best friend Steph who is currently threatening her if she blinks one more time.

“You act like you’ve never put on eyeliner before.” Steph remarks with her judgment not hidden in her tone or expression.

“It’s different when other people are doing it!” She whines. “The makeup artist at work doesn’t do it as hard as you.” She mutters. “She’s also a lot nicer.” She shoots an accusatory brow her way.

“Well she’s getting paid isn’t she?” Steph smirks.

“Fair point.” Candy responds without nodding her head. “But you love me so you should be nice to me. I’m about to go do some important stuff I need support.” She reaches out and grabs at Steph’s unoccupied hand desperately as she bites her tongue and titters.

“Yeah, that’s what you got Eddie for now.” She snarks and shakes her head. “Speaking of, what does he think about all this?”

“He’s as pissed as I am so he’s down. He’s my backup.” She answers with a sultry lilt.

“I’m sure you are backing it up on that beefy, award-winning journalist.” She teases with a fanciful swipe of her hand. “Tell me. When you two have sex do you both have a press conference afterward to discuss the transaction?” Her face remains without a hint of sarcasm as was her skill set.

“As a matter of fact we do. It’s very productive.” She retorts with sassy. “The copy is good to keep and read later alone.” She grins.

“You fuckin’ nerds.” Steph mumbles and shakes her head. Steph was more skilled when it came to makeup than Candy. So for this undercover mission to the rich tech club where the drugging happened, she was helping her not look like herself.

After the initial turn down of her idea to expose the apparently rampant problem she’d been a victim of, she does what few journalists choose to do and gives away her story to someone else. There was a smaller female journalist who did some excellent work at a small newspaper locally. Candy offered her help to give her some footage, evidence and lend the story and support to the endeavor.

The night for the first recon mission was finally upon them. Eddie sits nervously in the modern and cozy living room, knee bouncing and knuckles white with worry. Venom tries to console him, assuring him they would never let anything happen to Candy. Eddie knows, finding his counterparts attempts at comfort to be failing. Putting his favorite person in danger wasn’t really something he could be talked into being excited about. Not a worst-case scenario by far, but a loudly nagging issue, was having to sit and listen to the men hit on Candy all night and that alone was raising his blood pressure.

Candy had pulled out all the stops when it came to mission from the glasses that had a camera inside and nail polish that reacted to Rohypnol, or Roofies. She had to specially ask for the kick starter to be sent to her before the release with the promise of free advertising after the fact to get it. She reveals her disguise, exiting from her bedroom, Venom slithering around the back of the couch to see her before Eddie. She was in something that looked entirely unlike her. A short and tight black dress, a push-up bra with chicken cutlets and enough makeup to give her flashbacks to middle school cheer competitions.

“How do I look?” she asks with a scrunch of her nose. It’s usual button shape now straight with the help of Steph’s contouring.

“Not like you.” Eddie remarks with an approving nod.

“A big titty goth girlfriend.” Venom says with no humor or irony and the girls begin to laugh. “Why is this funny? This is what Eddie says. Why are you embarrassed Eddie? Large mammary glands and gothic styling are wonderful things in a girlfriend. She wears black. Like me.” he grins as Edie blushes.

“It’s a...an old internet thing, dude just… don’t go around talking about titties so freely. It’s rude.”

“I did not mean to offend… thought it was a compliment.”

“Good use of slang there, hun.” Candy praises his efforts. “I appreciate both of your thinking I have big tits though. It’s just the bra.” she laughs and shakes as Venom’s grin grows wider.

“Calm down.” Eddie groans.

“We are calm,” he says retracting himself back to Eddie’s shoulder. “Are you ready? We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

“Let’s check the camera first.” Candy says with a clear enthusiasm Eddie did not share.

They run the tests and she learns how to direct her gaze most efficiently. They’d gone over the plan a dozen times. Arrive alone, sit and be bait while Venom lurked on the roof and kept a lookout for her and her victim. They left the house separately, both in taxis that picked them up at places other than her house. She arrived as planned and sat, and waited.

For a girl that looked like her, in a bar like that, it didn’t take long once it was established she was alone. No one recognized her, but she didn’t expect them to, Steph’s contouring really was a miracle worker. She played fun and easy, and it took a few guys, but late enough in the night she finally caught one as she played drunk on top of everything else. She didn’t see the guys who had drugged her before, which was a letdown but anyone who would do this deserved it right?

She talked him up, a trust fund baby who, with his father's money, had a tech start-up. It took no effort on her part to get him talking about his genius and how HE would run Tesla if he had the chance. There were a lot of “Oh my god that’s CRAZY!” and “That’s SOOOO smart.”’s from her but he was so caught up in hearing himself he didn’t notice the soundboard answers as they came from her like a kid hitting buttons on a customized keyboard. With the mere suggestion of her excusing herself and asking him to get her another drink, he was antsy to put his own plan into action. On return, she tested it while distracting him with her chest. A task that proved almost too easy. She fake drank for a while before claiming to feel sleepy and wanting to “get this show on the road” before it got too late.

With a short walk, not even a few blocks down, she knew her alien accomplice was close, slinking in the darkness of the rooftops. The disguised Candy pulls the unsuspecting predator out of the street lamp lit sidewalk and into the dank shadows of the greasy alleyway.

“I just can’t wait.” she giggles “I don’t want to chance my roommate being in and I want you all to myself.” she coos with a bop of her manicured finger to his nose.

“I mean, your roommate can join in too if she wants.” he offers with a smug smirk.

“Well, the problem is my roommates a dude.” She answers with an upward inflection.

“Ah, red flag much?” he laughs.

“No. He’s my boyfriend… and inhabited by a symbiote.” Her delivery goes flat, sober eyes meet the pursuer turned victim.

“What the fuck? You goth girls are fuckin’ crazy, man. Not even the drugs could come up that shit.” he shakes his head, still laughing.

“No. Really. He’s huge and dangerous and doesn’t like you. You’re a piece of shit who tries to drug women to sleep with them because you're a pathetic excuse for a human who can’t get laid on his own.”

“Wait, what?” he stutters, suddenly standing up straight as Venom drops from the rooftop behind her in an impressive slinking mass. She has to admit, the look of horror on his face did things to her. The sheer terror that only being faced with death could give a dense, self-worshiping asshole like him.

“We’re going to eat you. First that big head of yours...then slurp up your organs like fava beans and then drink your adrenaline glands like a nice chianti.” His dagger teeth drip with drool, proof of his hunger and intention.

Candy beams with pride for the completion of their plan, stepping back and chuckling quietly at the reference Venom made. The guy doesn’t even have time to scream. There’s not a drop of blood or splatter left of him to find. It’s like it never happened at all.

Candy is left with a deeply satisfied, albeit disturbingly good feeling in her gut. “I’ll see you later, babe.” she whispers and just as quiet as they’d came, they fled.

This continued for a few weeks, the footage of the drugging is stored on an external harddrive Candy kept in her safe. Eddie thought it’d only happen once. But it happened again, twice, three times more before there were articles about mysterious disappearances of the young rich elite in town. Was it the work of the Illuminati some articles asked? She read them with her coffee every Tuesday and smiled knowingly. It pleased Venom. Finally, a human that understood him and his need to kill to eat and protect this planet and its people. But Eddie was more worried than relieved at this point.

—- “You made us stop hunting when we got too much media attention. And now you want to go out and do it again?” Candy could hear the concern for her in Eddie's voice but her own was too strong to heed his warning.

“I wanna find the guy that originally did it to me, Eddie.” Her eyes give away the hurt that’s been fueling her anger as her hands move animatedly while she argues her point. “These are awful people, same as who you get rid of, there’s no reason not to give it one more shot.”

Eddie sighs and puts his hands on his hips, feeling as if he was talking to his old self. “Candy, I don’t want a fight alright? I get why you’re upset and I’d be upset too!” His voice inflected hugger pitched with feeling, “Hell, I AM upset! I get it. I do but ya know you can’t keep pushing it. Your luck will run out… like mine did. You’ll push it just one step too far because of your pride and then boom, it all falls apart.”

“Am I supposed to just let it go what they did to me? To the countless other girls they’ve done it too?” He saw the tears she fought back and his heart hurt for her. He suddenly understood everyone that had tried to warn him of the same thing in the past. It was weird karma to witness.

He sighs and gives her sad and tired eyes, much like the ones she was giving him. “You aren’t… losing by moving on ya know. You can’t win them all, just believe me, babe, please. I’ve BEEN where you are alright? I GET it! I swear I do but you can't fix every wrong out there. You just can’t… I’m sorry.”

“I’m going out tonight. And you’re going to be there. That... I hesitate to call him a person but that asshole will be there who did this to me. I just know it. Let me do it just one more time and I’ll stop okay? Please Eddie?”

He groans and feels Venom wants to give his two cents. He was on Candy's side. But of course, he was, he didn’t grasp the situation fully because he couldn’t, he was damn near indestructible right now and one more buffet of bad guys seemed like it had no downsides when you took into account it meant making Candy happy. And they both wanted that, so desperately. She’d been so much happier since they’d started this after the funk she denied she’d fallen into after the roofie.

“Fine.” He says with more anger. “But just one more time Candy I swear to god, this is the last time I’m helping you do this.” He wags his finger and she doesn’t care. She doesn’t notice. She’d already gotten her way.

—— She had her ritual now she liked to do, the getting ready and primping. The adrenaline rush was enough to get anyone hooked on the feeling. Perhaps it was what made her go against sound advice. Perhaps it was the lack of justice for herself, feeling like a martyr to take on people who seemed untouchable. It was the origin story she’d dreamed of since she was young. A woman wronged, going against the bad guys for the ultimate revenge and winning against the odds. It was everything she’d wanted. And she foolishly thought she could have it.

She was right about one thing. The guy that drugged her was there that night. She and Venom only used this convenient coincidence to shut Eddie up. “It’s a sign!” They’d hissed together.

“It’s a bad idea.” was Eddies defeated reply.

Candy enjoys this one a little too much, a little too true-crime podcast subject for Eddie's liking.

She leads him to the alley with her curves and promises. Her heels giving her no trouble but her wobbly ankles playing like they did all the same to the target.

“You believe in karma?” She proposes, lips so close she could taste the alcohol in the air on his breath.

“Nah, you get what you work for. You gotta step on some toes sometimes to prove you’re the best. If you lose you didn’t try hard enough.” He cockily answered. Something he’d probably picked up from the few interactions he had with him billionaire father growing up. His trust fund was a shield against his own evil deeds.

“That’s a shame. Because I do.” She sighs.

“I don’t think we have to match up on our philosophy 101 ideas, babe.” He chuckles. “Don’t have to have anything in common at all to do what I wanna do to you.” His hands lead to her hips and next thing he knows there’s a knife pressed into his neck. This was new. This wasn’t part of the plan.

Eddie's heartbeat picks up as he sees through Venom's eyes what’s happening. She was in too deep and she was only going to dig herself deeper.

“I’m glad we have one thing in common for what I’m going to do to you.” She snarls, taking her wig and glasses off.

“What the…?!” He says with no fear and only surprise. “Wait aren’t you? Holy shit you again?” He laughs. “So you’re the one doing this little vigilante justice thing. How cute.”

“Cute? You were going to rape me and my friend you fucking disgusting, baby dicked piece of shit.”

“They're onto you sweetie.” He grins. “You can do whatever you want to me but you think killing the brightest minds in the world was a smart idea? Like no one would come looking? You really are stupid.”

“You can call me whatever you want because you’ll be dead and I’ll be able to breathe a little easier knowing one less asshole like you is in this world.”

“Do what you want little girl, but I’m gonna put up a fight you can’t win.” He smirks.

“Doubtful.” Is Venom's response as he appears looking over Candy in the dim and dank alley.

“Good riddance.” She says angrily, putting her wig back on. She continues to mutter curses and name call while her eyes well up with a long-held release that was a long time coming.

“Are you-“

“I’m FINE.” She snaps and wipes at a falling tear. Venom recoils noticeably. “I’ll... see you later.” She rushes out before stomping off.

“Eddie?”

“I know man. She’s just… going through a lot.”

“We are worried.”

“Yeah. We are.”

-----------------------------

@hardygal69 @marvelgirl7 @emerald-bijou @brianaisasongbird @vale0413 @izzy-the-ginger @chortletortoise @onomatopoetic-aesthetic @anrm1 @jademox @nightcraver @venomous-possibiities @tinastarkandco @chipster-21 @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes @queenof-wakanda @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s @peakys-mystic

#venom #eddie brock #eddie brock fanfic #venom fanfic #venom fan fic #venom fandom #venom fan fiction #venom fic #tom #eddie brock fic #eddie brock fan fiction #eddie brock x ofc #eddie brock au #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock fan fic

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dbzebra · 5 years ago

Note

☕️ OH YKNOW WHAT AT THAT NOTE? Talk about that dbs broly movie cuz yknow. That’s a hot topic of the ages that folk feel particularly really strongly about

ooooh ive been waiting for this one. We watched this together on discord so you know my general feelings but Im happy i got this ask lol.

putting this under read more cause it gets long

The new movie that everyone seems to love and adore.... that I dont. It was a pretty middle of the ground, meh overrated af movie. Not bad, just nothing special. I enjoyed watching it sure, but not something I have an inkling to return to anytime soon if ever. It was just ‘there’ for me.

First, I’ll say the good stuff. The visuals looked really pretty. Nobody was THAT out of character of the existing cast (save for the ending), which i feel weird to have to even mention it as a positive, but nothing really stood out to me as a defining moment for the little cast we had besides Goku’s “youre not a bad guy, i can tell” or w/e. SUPER SAIYAN 1 IS STILL GOAT. It looked soooo good in this movie i wish we couldve kept it the whole time instead of Blue. But i will say, Blue looked much better in this movie than the series. The darker-blue with the lighter blue eyes was a nice change from instead of the ugly bluish-green the series did. Also the aura looked better. Backgrounds like the ice area and even Planet Vegeta were amazing. Action was great too. little Bulla was cute. The OST i liked (the chanting really grew on me) and Blizzard is a banger i love that song. Oh and the aritisic license they took for the fusion scene with the reds and blues spiraling together was great

Anyway thats all the positives I have lmaoo

This film includes Minus and I already went in depth on why I hate Minus with a passion and why it’s the worst thing to come out of modern Dragon so yeah moving on. But the fact that they devoted screentime to Gokus backstory which ultimately served no purpose to the story of the film and couldve been used more valuably elsewhere.

I said the action was good, and it was, but it almost too good. At times it was so fast to tell that was going on and really lessened the impact for me. Like when they went into the other dimension or whatever, Gogeta went blue and Broly went LSSJ (idc if the name is different name, itll always be legendary SSJ to me lmao) so ast it was a blink and you miss it moment. like what? those moments shouldve been given even a little bit of focus.

Next the cast. Goku and Vegeta. AGAIN. snorefest. no Gohan, Piccolo is just there to show them the fusion, Goten and Trunks are still kids and look like babies (and Pilaf gang is with them which is another can of worms), no Android 17, who the series established as one of the top 4 fighters on Earth.

Do we get any of that? Nope. Just the two Blue and Bluer fucking again and again I. dont. care. anymore. Their dynamic is so boring and played out id rather watch paint dry. It was fun in Buu Saga, hell it was even fun in GT, but DBS constantly forcing this dynamic and Vegeta as the second Main Character needs to fucking STOOOP. Toei and Toriyama has no idea how to further Vegeta’s character because theyre stuck in this infinite loop.

Vegeta doesnt want to help Goku, he mentions Bulma and/or Trunks, Vegeta blushes, and then he decides to help. THAT HAPPENED LIKE SIX TIMES IN DBS ALONE. It happened in Buu saga as well, but it organically worked cause it was the first time but Bulma and Trunks were ALREADY DEAD/ABSORBED. The look on his face wasnt blushy or pouting for a gag, dude was legit shocked. I rag on Vegeta but he had some legit great moments in the early arcs and later parts of Buu Saga. Anyway im off track. They repeat that same exact character moment OVER AND OVER. cant tell you how many times we had “my Bulma, my bulla, my Trunks, my cabba” in the Tournament of Power alone, and this movie is no different.

DO SOMETHING ELSE FFS

Then we have Broly. ohhhhhh boooy Broly. if you can even call this version of him Broly. His backstory is kinda the same as original movie 8/Broly LSSJ, but its more tragic becuase according to most fans, if youre background is a sobstory, that equals better character. NO. sure it could, but that trope was so worn out so long ago I hate it. “waaa his life was bad, hes not a bad guy” bruh i dont care thats not Broly. just make an OC if you wanna do that. but nope. gotta use the marketing! (More on that later)

People like to criticize Z Broly as “he hates Goku cause he cried” or “all he says is Kakarot” which both are false. On the first point, Broly is a psychopath. He was stabbed as an infant and left to die along with Paragus cause he was too powerful. Then that same day Planet Vegeta explodes practically on top of them. The rest of his life hes basically either being controlled or on a rampage. So that one moment of peace is “ruined” by Goku in a sense cause he subconsciously associates that with Goku. On the second point, Broly was already mentally unstable and then nearly dying, getting caught in the explosion of a SECOND PLANET and then being frozen for seven years will fuck anyone up in the head. Z Broly in the original movie was sadistic af and he had a lot of memorable moments and lines that werent just screaming Kakarot, that Second Coming made him infamous for.

New Broly is legit a man-baby. People talk about old Broly having no personality and this new version having a deep character, but I dont see it. He acts like a child when hes with Cheelai and Lemo and then once the fighting starts he doesnt say a single word but yell. SOUND FAMILIAR?? But he gets a pass because the canon police says so right??? fuck off. New Broly is boring. Im tired of trying to make the Saiyans into ThEyRe noT aLl BaD sEe The SaIyAns ArE AcTuAlLy GoOd!!!11111 ugh i hate it. keep Broly a psycho and keep Bardock a prick. even that guy that went with Buzz Lightyear I mean Paragus was a sweet guy who couldnt fight because of course he was. At least they kept Paragus being a prick when he killed him. Tho his death was lame.

Cheelai’s overrated af. Shes just green bulma lmao. and the fact that they included the “big soft-spoken man gets mad and saves girl from drunk lowkey-rapey pervert” trope just had me roll my eyes like dude stop. Lemo was fine? Nothing against him but didnt do much for me either.

FUCK. FREEZA. i went over this one before too so ill be quick with this as well. I hate hate hate the fact that they brought him back not once but twice in DBS, but even worse that they left him alive to do whatever tf he wants including going back to mass murdering people and expanding his army again. Goku and Vegeta just LET HIM LIVE. Why tf did they go all out and attack Broly, but not Freeza? when one of them was fighting Broly th other easily could have taken out freeza but nope we need a token villain like Joker or Skeletor cause unoriginality. Even at the end, Gogeta does a full power blast to wipe Broly tf out, but when Freeza tries to kill Cheelai and Lemo (two innocent people, feelings on them aside) Gogeta basically just shakes his finger like nuh-uh! dont do that! and then he flies off. Just let this mfer die already im sick of seeing his ass. FUCK I HATE IT SO MUCH GFGFFGFGFGF

Lastly this movie is legitimately Dragon Ball Fanservice The Movie.

Gogeta vs Broly, which the games have been doing since fucking 2003, is the main point of this film. Theres no originality whatsoever. Minus is discount Father of Goku special, and then its a mashup of Broly LSSJ and Fusion Reborn (both of which are superior movies imo). This creatively banrkupt shell of a franchise cant think of anything new, so they legit remake an old movie, through in fusions because that sells like hotcakes, and make the animation pretty because thats all that matters.

Imo, this movie, like 99% of Super, is all flash and flair but no substance at all. At least this movie looked nice. unlike the show.

ok thats all i got lmao

#this got really long lol #longer than i intended #but thought of more stuff as i went #asks #cozymochi

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nad-zeta · 5 years ago

Text

Match up (◕‿◕✿)

Hi, can I please have an ikesen matchup? I just saw your other match up and I love it. 💚 I’m introverted at first but I got wack when I’m with my friends, randomly giggle or laugh. I also love animals (all animals) and humans- not very much but if I hear a sob story, I will melt. I also cry easily although I try not to. I’m basically the “I’m baby” meme

Hi, there love! I hope you are having a good day! (◕‿◕✿) He is your match up dear, I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for the kind words, I’m so happy you have been enjoying me work so far <3 And soz for making ya wait sooooooooo long for this <3

So I match you with………………. Yukimura

The first time you meet Yukimura was when he saved you from falling down a freaken cliff. You were soooo freaked out. The whole night had been a massive rollercoaster. First, you get flung into the past, then some hot dude asks you the rule the world by his side, then some other dude death stares you, you freaked out and ran away bare freaken foot through the forest, then ran into the hands-down scariest man you have ever seen and to top it all off, you almost plummet down a mountain to your death. If there was a prize for the worst night of your life tonight would definitely win by a landslide. You couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face, you were in shock. Yukimura stared down at the woman he had caught just in time, he was feeling super awkward. He never really speaks to a woman much less comforts them. All he can think to do is pull you from the edge of the cliff and give you a clumsy head pat “Hey look your okay, no need to cry or anything”. The two of you are joined by yet another group of strange men, you take cover behind Yukimura, who starts to chuckle a little. That’s when you spotted a familiar man. He walked up to you and pulled you aside, explaining the whole concept of time-travel. You were shook! Never in a million years did you think this could happen to you. Just before the two of you could finish your conversation, you heard the sound of hoofbeats in the distance. Damn, they are coming to hunt you down. Sasuke disappeared before your eyes, and so did the rest of the strange men leaving you to stand alone in the forest confused

Masa was the one who found you and brought you back to the castle with him, where you were named as the new princess of the Oda forces. You were super-shy, and it took you a looong time to open up to the odd bunch of men. You worked extremely hard to gain their respect and trust, and soon you found yourself befriending all the warlords. As time went on they actually all seemed to adopt you as their sweet little sister

You went out of the markets one day to get Nobunaga some sugar candies. Hideyoshi had hidden all his away, and he needed to replenish his secret stash, so he turned to you his beloved little sister to complete the top-secret mission. As you were out in town basically buying the wholes shop supply, some stranger put a cloth over your mouth causing you to pass out. Yukimura and Sasuke who were nearby and saw the whole scene unfold “Hey Sasuke, isn’t that wild boar woman over there getting kidnapped like a friend of yours or something?” Sasuke’s eyes went wide, he tried to see if one of the Oda warlords were nearby to come to your aid but sadly not, so it was now up to him and his BFF. The two of them trailed the kidnappers back to an abandoned shack in a secluded part of the woods. They were busy writing Nobunaga a ransom letter when a smoke bomb went off in the middle of the room, rendering them sightless.

You were slowly starting to regain consciousness when you saw some scary looking men discussing the terms of your ransom. You prayed at that moment that someone would come to your rescue. And just like that your prayers were heard and answered, Yukimura made quick work of the ropes tying your hands and feet together. You had been sitting for so long that Yukimura had to pick you up and carry you to safety.

The two friends took you back to their safehouse and made you some tea to help calm your nerves. You were yet again in tears before Yuki, and he yet again didn’t know what to do. Sasuke had left the two of you alone to go pick up some snacks to have with the tea. Yuki sat down beside you and clumsily rubbed your back. “Its okay now dummy, see, no one is gonna hurt you!” You picked up a nearby pillow and lightly smacked him with it, embarrassed by the fact that he has now twice seen you in full-blown crying mode. Yukimura smiled and picked up a pillow of his own, “Hey two can play that game dummy”. The two of you were now in a full-blown pillow fight. During the midst of your playful fight, one of the feather pillows actually burst open covering the whole room in feathers. The two of you were now running around throwing each other with the fallen feathers while sneaking in a few hits of the still intact pillows. Sasuke walked into a room covered in feathers, only to see that your sadness and fear of being kidnapped had been long forgotten. You and Yuki were now both clutching your stomach in laughter

You didn’t know what it was about the two men, or maybe it was the adrenalin now pumping through your veins, but you found yourself opening up and revealing your wack personality to both of them. The room was filled with laughter as the three of you drank tea and made the funniest jokes. You honestly found Yukimura to be hilarious. You were so thankful that the two of them had come to your aid, and you were even more grateful to Yukimura from turning an almost horrible day into a super fun one.

Since that day the two of you cuties would almost always run into each other. Both of you would usually have some tea and sweet buns together during his break. The one day while the two of you were out laughing as goofing off in a flower field, as you do, a big wolf pup came bouncing his way through the flowers and hit Yukimura straight in the chest causing him to topple over. You laughed as the pup now mercilessly licked Yuki’s face. The second the lil thing heard your voice; it was now your turn to be licked to death. The two of you played with the little doggo all afternoon. You couldn’t help but fall in love with Yukimura. He was fun and outgoing, and he even trusted you enough to tell his sob story of a backstory to you which definitely pulled at your heartstrings.

Yuki was determined to take your relationship to the next level, so one day as the two of you was playing in the flower field with the little puppy, you noticed a small note attached to his collar. You took the note and started to read it, it had been a clumsily written love letter. You looked up to see Yukimura staring down at the ground red as a tomato. You had to chuckle at the fact that even his ears had turned a deep shade of red. He shyly looked up into your eyes, and the two of you just gravitated towards each other to meet in a sweet kiss. Which was ruined moments later by the pup jumping on both of you, now licking both your faces.

Yuki loved you so much from your wack personality to your ability to cry so easily. He would always be there to wipe away your tears and replace them with a big bright smile on your face. He loves to bicker and banter with you all day. HE loves nothing more than to hold you in his warm arms as the two of you sit together in the shade of a tree, simply enjoying each other company. Despite appearances Yuki is actually quite the romantic, often planning these little picnics for the two of you. He will literally hold you in his arms for hours while you talk his ear off about the happenings of your day. He will definitely occasionally drop as small butterfly kiss on your cheek all while being bright red. The two of you can often be found spending time together playing with Yukimura’s little wolf pup or spending a quiet evening in Yuki’s safehouse just cuddling for hours.

Other potential matches……………..Ieyasu

I hope you enjoyed it dear 😊 <3 @fayeyey

#sanada yukimura #yukimura sanada #ikesen yukimura #matchups #match ups #ikesen matchup #matches #yukimura matchup #submission

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srprincess · 5 years ago

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Fictober Prompt 11 “It’s not always like this.”

fandom - check please

Part 11 of the spookydooAU

Will pulled the truck up close to the house. Well, close as he could get with all the fallen tree limbs.

What had happened to this place, he wondered, getting out of the truck and surveying the mess.

The leaves weren't surprising. After all, they were into fall. Most people didn't even bother raking their camps with how the trees blocked any sun that would have grown grass. But the gutters overflowing? Porch being covered? Even the lattice at the bottom of the porch was half covered with the sort of trash that blew in when the less considerate tourists would hit the beach. Empty chip bags, food wrappers, water bottles and the like.

This was a ‘clear up at the season start’ sort of mess, not the kind you'd expect at a year long residence. And, between the fallen tree limbs and the random brush and twigs, there was wood everywhere except for on the log rack against the cottage, which looked near empty. No way to start the colder seasons.

He was so distracted he didn't even realize Nursey had gotten out of the truck until he startled at his voice right beside him “Was there a big storm recently?”

Will shook his head. “Not for ages. Storms likely won’t hit the inner point hard for another month yet. Could you hold back here? Let me make a run round the house first.”

He grabbed a flashlight out of the cab before making his way around. There were a couple smaller trees downed in the back, one leaning against the house, but thankfully no broken windows. He really needed to stop back by in the light of day. See to those gutters at least, before she was replacing a roof. Clean up the trash. Maybe cut up and add the scattered branches to her woodpile.

Damn what a mess.

This sort of mess didn’t pop up overnight, outside of the stormy season at least. And, like he had told Nursey, that hadn't even started yet. That meant all of this had to have been building up for a while. Surely she knew she could have asked for help, right?

As he came back to the front of the house he saw Nursey with a plastic sack that he must have pulled out of the truck cab, filling it with the litter from the base of the porch. He grabbed another bag and joined him.

”Hope this was alright, ” Nursey held up the almost full bag.

”Oh yeah, I mean, thanks,”

”No problem, I felt weird just standing here.”

“Thanks just the same. You know It’s not always like this.” Will told him, tipping his head towards the debris while wondering if that was technically true. After all, when was the last time he had been here? He couldn't say exactly when, but it’d been a while. She just kind of showed up at his all the time. And with her place pushed back in the trees, even though he could see the shoreline, he didn't have a good view of the house. Maybe it had been bad for a while. He knew pride was a thing, but still. She could have asked and he would have been right over, no questions.

He was jarred out of his thoughts by Nursey shaking out a tangled wind chime, “Hey, isn’t this like yours?”

“Yeah, she makes them. Must have gotten knocked off its hook, blown loose or something. Probably should hang it back up. Spot me?” Will asked, already climbing on the porch rail near to one of the empty hooks and reaching back for the chime. A quick wipe to get rid of a spider web, and the chime was hanging again.

Will was grateful for the hands hovering around his hips when a movement, caught in the corner of his eye, had him spinning on the railing to face the house. Nursey’s quick grip helped turn what would have been an awkward backward fall into a, nearly graceful, hop back to the floor and into his arms.

”Did you see that?” Will asked, pulling loose from Nursey’s hold and trying, unsuccessfully, to peer through the dirty window.

”My sweet save?”

”No, idiot, the curtain. I swear it twitched.” He knocked on the door, calling out, “Hello? Anyone home?” No answer. He didn’t think she would have stood in the house watching anyway, but he was so sure he saw something. Weird. He pressed his ear to the door, but couldn't hear any sounds of movement. Maybe it had just been a draft?

Will shrugged and hopped back off the porch. “If you want, I can finish up with this while you... I don't know, do whatever it is you do with that stuff in your duffel?”

“How about one more bag first? Like as a thanks for letting us come by. Maybe it will show the spirits I’m friendly and they’ll talk more, yeah?” Nursey reasoned.

“Sounds like nonsense but not like I’ll turn down a pair of hands right now soooo”

Will grabbed the floodlight he had out of the tool chest in the truck bed, hoping he’d remembered to charge it after the last time he used it. He gave a little cheer when he set it on the porch and it turned on. He flashed it in the direction of the lighthouse and watched to see a couple of smaller flashes back.

“Well, they haven’t gone in yet.”

“You know they’ll be thinking that was a ghost or something, right?” Nursey pointed out.

“Then I’ll be sure to do it a few more times before we leave,” Will joked. “Maybe wave it around like it’s floating.”

“Your mind. Evil!” Nursey said, “You would have been so much fun back at the Haus in school dude. The pranks we could have pulled.”

“I don’t know, I’m not much of a space sharer. Like keeping to myself.”

“Really? The grumpy lighthouse keeper isn't a people person? Shocking.” Nursey grinned, “Way to perpetuate a stereotype, dude.”

Will smirked back and flipped him off.

”We’d have worn you down, look what we’ve done in a couple days. Hanging out with the common people, causing scenes,” waving his hand towards the cottage, “trespassing after dark. You’re practically one of us.”

“Not hardly,” Will scoffed.

“One of us. One of us. One of us.” Nursey chanted.

“You are ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously charming?” Nursey asked, plucking a leaf from Will’s hair and handing it to him.

“Ridiculously obnoxious,” Will lied, wondering if it was dark enough to hide the blush on his traitorous face.

Nursey’s thoughtful look made him think it probably wasn’t. Damn. Probably didn’t help that he put the leaf in his pocket instead of tossing it to the ground? Why did he even do that? Like he was some preteen girl going to add it to a scrapbook or some shit? Ugh.

“I’ll have to work on it then.”

“How about, instead of that, you work on whatever it is you think you're going to accomplish here tonight,” Will said as he plucked the full trash bag out of Nursey hands and took it over to the truck. Coming back he dropped the duffel at his feet. ”Don’t go too far, shout if you need me.”

Nursey gave a mock salute before pulling some things out and heading towards the tree line.

Will had finished picking up the trash before the first check-in calls came through. Listening in, it sounded like everything was going okay. Nothing big to report. Holster did ask about the lights, Nursey blowing him off with a ’maaaaybe’ and an ’I don't know’ with instructions to keep watching the coastline just in case. Will tried to keep his snort of laughter quiet enough to not be picked up.

He'd spent another 20 minutes trying to separate the scattered brush in trash, kindling, ’chop up for the pile’ later when the floodlight started to flicker. He cursed when it completely shut down. Not fully charged after all then. Damn.

He did have a spare but thought it better to save in case of emergency. And his flashlights and lantern were fine for walking around, but not so great for clearing a large area like this.

Figuring he should probably talk to her before doing much more anyway, he tossed the spent light into the truck cab, making a mental note to recharge it later, before catching up with Nursey.

Seeing him behind a shrub Will quickly jumped towards him, grabbing Nursey’s sides, and yelled ”Did I miss anything?!”

”Fuck! You are the worst!” Nursey yelped and shoved back at him. ”God. Damn.” He blew out a breath before continuing, “Nothing yet. Before you tried to scare me half to death, I was about to take another walk around the perimeter and do some Q&A.”

”Q&A? Okay, but, ummm, I’m not sure what else I can tell you?”

”Not with you.” Nursey held up a recorder and explained, ”I’m going to ask some questions to whoever is out there, and see if I get anything back. I'm recording it so I can play it back louder. Then if there is something the others could hear it later too.”

”And what's that?” Will pointed to the small box Nursey held. It had a pair of square buttons with a small bulb next to each. One marked with a y and the other an n.

”This” Nursey answered proudly, ”is the Answer Machine. I invented it. With some help from Chow. And supplies from Lardo. And naming by Jack.”

”Huh,” Will tilted his head, ”How does it work?”

”This is it's first time out but, in theory, if I ask a question and the spirit doesn't want to, or can’t, answer verbally a little pressure over the switch here will make the bulb above it light up. Green on the left for yes and red in the right for no.”

”So a flashy ouija?”

”No. An Answer Machine.”

”An answer machine is what used to take phone calls, that is - hold on.” Will addressed the box. ”Are you a poor man’s ouija gadget?” He clicked the left button and saw it light up green, ”Oh-hoh! What do we have here? Yes!”

“Smartass,” Nursey went to pull back his gadget when they were both startled by a crash at the porch. ”Wh-what was that?” he asked, shakily.

”Windchime’s down again.” Will said with a frown. ”Give me another hand?”

He grabbed some string from the truck’s toolbox and rehung the chime. This time he wound the string around the hook and over the chime hanger to hold it more securely. He gave it a slight tug from side to side and it stayed hanging. Satisfied, he hopped back off the railing and he and Nursey returned to the equipment bag.

”Ready?” Nursey asked, as he started the recorder and handed it to Will.

When Will nodded, he flipped on the ’answer machine’ and started asking his questions, pausing between each. As he talked, they walked their way around the edges of the property closest to the house.

”Is anyone there?”

”Can you tell me your name?”

”How long have you been here?”

”Do you know what happened to you?”

”Did you tell anyone where you were going?”

”Or what you were doing?”

”Did you have any family?”

”Is there a message you want us to pass along?”

”If you can hear me, give me a sign.”

As the questions went on with no response, or least not one that he could hear or see, Will interrupted, ”This is so cheesy. You're basically talking to yourself in the dark. You get that, right?”

Nursey just continued on, but louder. ”I’m here with Dex. You might have known his great grandfather. Is there anything you would like to tell him?”

Will pulled a face, and Nursey cracked up.

”What was that? A little louder?”

Will narrowed his eyes. He hadn't heard anything, still.

”Oh! You think his jacket clashes with those pants?”

Will growled and pounced.

Nursey choked out through his laughter, ”and the shoes are a disaster?” He was laying on the ground where he’d been tackled, but tried to roll away before adding, ”I agree but I meant about your disappearance?”

All of the sudden Will froze, staring at that stupid ’answer machine’, ”It's lit. What is that supposed to mean??”

Both the lights were lit up.

Nursey pulled himself sitting and shook the box. ”Maybe I hit the switches when I went down?”

He clicked them both off, but the red light clicked right back on. He clicked it off again, and then it stayed off.

Will helped him to his feet, and they headed back towards the front of the house. Nursey repeating his earlier questions. He got as far as ”Is there a mess-” when he tripped over something in a pile of leaves.

The box went flying, green light lit this time. Suddenly the wind picked up, blowing harder than it had yet, nearly pulling the wind chime down again even with the extra reinforcements.

The walkie talkie app went off with Bitty’s voice yelling something, wind there too judging by the background noise, but neither of them were listening.

They were both staring at what Nursey had tripped over.

It was a rusting ‘For Sale’ sign from a real estate company in the city.

#fictober19 #omgcp #spookydoo au #nurseydex #i am absolutely NOT going to be done by the end of fictober because...tomorrow?!?#BUT I will still be working on this #promise!#thanks for all the reblogs/subscribes/comments/kudos/etc #you guys are the best!

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khadij-al-kubra · 6 years ago

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Persephone & Hades AU...

For your consideration, and bearing in mind that the original myth is not really all that toxic at all and is not a show of Stockholm syndrome...

The “””Kidnapping””” of Persephone:

Logan as Hades-

Bespectacled Ruler of the Underworld

Takes his job very seriously (wears a black and blue necktie with his long silky black robes)

Cold pale skin and intelligent grey eyes with slicked back black hair. Looks scarier and meaner than he actually is. (although he can have a bit of a temper if pushed and will have loud sharp outbursts of “FALSEHOOD!”)

Very logical and methodical in how he rules the underworld and keeps the souls passing through organized. Like he’s got the judgement thing down to a T! But despite his cold demeanor he’s actually very generous and kind at heart. He just recognizes the importance of his work and in remaining just yet impartial

Sucker for dogs, hence why he has a three headed one. He just wishes he had more time to play with Cerberus, but alas ruling the dead alone takes up a lot of ones time.

Has a sweet tooth and often indulges in jams made from the pomegranates that grow in his realm.

Is on decent enough relations with his brothers (Emile as Poseidon and Deceit as Zeus), although he STILL thinks that Deceit cheated in their straw draws, but let it go because he’s actually best suited as the more organized brother for ruling the dead.

Is secretly very lonely. Once in a blue moon he’ll sneak up to the surface for fresh air and sunlight. One day he spots a certain someone in a flower field who takes his breath away. (can you blame him, i mean that smile! )

Patton as Persephone-

Supreme flower child! (flowy sky blue clothes, grass green eyes, sun-kissed freckly skin and wheat colored curls, barefoot, flower crown)

Loves gardening, animals, and helping his father Demeter (Roman) with the changing seasons. Loves Roman to bits....He just wishes he wasn’t so overprotective. Like come ON dad, i’m a grown god, i can look after myself. I don’t run off on my own THAT much!

Is protective and loving towards most all forms of life and tries to see the good in each and every soul, both mortal and god/goddess #momfriendtothemax

Unless given reason to feel otherwise. Then...weeeell at the least he’ll give you a stern talking to but at worst...lets just say you DONT want to get on the bad side of someone who can grow massive and sharp thorn bushes and effect earthquakes when pushed too far. XO

Sometimes gets bored with the same old routine with Roman and wishes to get away and see something new from time to time. Maybe have some quiet time to make his own floral crafts and garden peacefully for fun and not work.

Often sneaks off when Roman is busy and goes wandering along dirt paths, sit under or climb a tree, or frolic in the flowers.

Roman as Demeter -

God of the Harvest, but like, EXTRA in all ways shape or form. (”we can top last years crop no problem, MORE WHEAT STALKS!” “No dad, we can’t, then there’ll be too much in this region and not enough for the next.” “LONGER SUMMER!!” “No! Bad idea dad! That’ll throw the seasons off”)

Often dresses in flowing gold threaded and sunset colored robes, but will change ensemble to match the seasons.

Enjoys watching the goings ons of the mortals, they’re just so entertaining! Especially is fond of traveling thespians and will bless the harvest of wherever they perform in.

Loves his son more than anything and has him help in godly duties because it keeps him close so he can keep an eye on Patton MUST KEEP PRECIOUS BAB SAFE!!!

Stubborn (but will never own up to it)

Virgil as Charon-

In charge of Ferrying souls across the River Styx

Doesn’t mind his job all that much but is #done with soooo many of these complaining, noisy and often rude or entitled souls. (like, NO dude, i don’t care who you were ruler of in the living world. Its two coins for passage like everyone else buddy!)

Really just wants a nap (often tries to hit up Remy a.k.a. Morpheus but he shows up late ALL the time)

Is actually very compassionate and gentle. He tries to ease the fears of souls who he sees are younger or were genuinely good in life or died in unfair ways.

Lives for the dark skull & bones aesthetic

Master of snark

Plays chess with Logan when either of them have some rare down time

Click the cut for full story

One day Roman and Patton are off doing their nature godly duties, and Roman is nagging his son about the proper way to harvest corn. (”Yes father, i know how to do it. you’ve only told me like a hundred times” “well i just want to make sure to remind you and that you don’t cut yourself on the sickle”)

Patton sneaks off one day to pick flowers since it’ll probably be the last bloom before autumn sets. Suddenly he sees a curious crack in the ground and ambles over to it to take a look. (”what sort of creature could’ve made this deep thing?”) He leans in too far however and pulls an Alice in Wonderland.

Turns out that crack was made by Logan. Apparently he’d become so deeply smitten by Patton that he went to his older brother Deceit/Zeus for advice. (Yes he was a dick and a little shit at times-although took his duties seriously when need be-and tricked many of his lovers into bed, but Emile didn’t have nearly as much love experience as their elder brother & Logan was desperate)

Deceit had actually been pleased when his too serious brother told him that he’d fallen for the spring god. His advice to Logan had been to simply kidnap Patton and either bed him then woo him or woo him and then bed him. Logan, of course, didn’t listen because that was the stupidest idea ever! (”what under earth was i thinking? This is the guy who turned himself into a cygnini in order to copulate with a woman behind his wife’s back.”) Besides, he was too painfully shy and socially awkward to try wooing. (He worked with the dead for crying out loud, not the best circumstances for practicing social skills)

He did however create a crack in the ground so he could sneak peeks at Patton from below the earth and admire him from afar. However, he’d been called back on an emergency and forgot to close one particular crack up before leaving again.

So sufficed to say, he was fairly shocked when he suddenly heard screaming above him one day. He looked up to find one Patton falling towards him and just caught him in his arms in time. (BLUSH CITY ON BOTH PARTS)

Patton thanks Logan but is admittedly miffed at him when he learns Logan was the one who’d made that crack in the ground. “What were you thinking leaving a big hole in the earth like that? Some poor oblivious mortal or animal could’ve fallen into it and gotten hurt!” “Apologies I-it was a foolish oversight on my part. i-I certainly hope you are uninjured?”

After a while Patton forgives him when he sees how truly sorry this (admittedly) scary and stern looking god is. (lest we forget he’s one of the big three) And Logan is honestly just trying not to show how flustered he is. i mean Patton is there in his realm! They both realize the crack is far too high up for Patton to get back out through right away. So Logan offers to have Patton stay in his palace until he can fetch his assistant Virgil/Charon to help Patton back up the next day. IN HIS OWN QUARTERS, OF COURSE! Logan says blushing, trying to be a gentleman. Patton agrees, promising upon Logan’s request to only follow one rule: “You must NOT eat anything”. Strange, but okay. Besides, it’ll be nice getting a break from his father. And it’s just for one night, right? (WRONG!)

Patton ends up having to wait longer than he realized because both Logan and Virgil are super busy with ferrying and judging souls. So he wanders around the Underworld. (of course he is marked with untouchable safety from almost everything as a guest of Logan)

One night however Patton finds himself stumbling upon a sparse garden. He’s surprised that anything is capable of growing down there in the realm of the dead, but even more shocked by the poor state of it. “Really, just look at the se rose bushes. They’re so brittle!” (it’s not Logan’s fault. He’s a busy boi. plus the god of the dead doesn’t exactly have a green thumb) Really the only thing flourishing down there is a single Pomegranate tree. The fruits on it look so red and shiny and juicy and...well...whats the worst that could happen if he eats just a few seeds?

Of course if you know the myth, it means now Patton cant leave. Because, well, greek god realm rules. Sufficed to say, Patton is pretty miffed that Logan hadn’t thought to tell him why he shouldn’t eat the darn fruit in the first place. Logan is greatly frustrated at Patton because a) he didn’t listen, and b) he actually has a point there and he does NOT like being wrong. Still, nothing to be done about it now.

Over time they cool off and apologize to each other. Patton’s still kind of mad though because now he can’t go home at all if he wanted too, but he recognizes that Logan wasn’t forcing him to stay on purpose. So he get’s over it and tries to make the best out of the situation. At least he can finally get away from Roman’s nagging for a while.

* Meanwhile in the living world, a frantic and angry Roman raises hell. “WHERE IS MY BOOOOYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?” (Thebes did not have a good crop that year)

While in the Underworld Patton starts talking to some souls, listening to their stories and offering kind and comforting words. Which as it turns out makes them more at ease and willing to go for judgement as they pass on. Logan’s fondness for Patton grows as he witnesses these acts of compassion and kindness. He also comes to respect Patton when he sees just how fierce he can be in the face of those who’d been cruel or unjust in life. ”I’m sorry, you did what to how many people!? and NOW you’ve got the nerve to demand entrance into Elysium young man!? Logan, hold my flower.” “Fret not Patton. I have your bougainvillea.” (art link for this scene)

Meanwhile Patton cant help but notice that, although he’s stern and serious on the outside, Logan is actually a very gentle god deep down. (he picks up on this from the soft tone of Logan’s voice as he speaks to souls being judged who’d suffered in life, or the way he reassures the more anxious ones with facts and logic about the afterlife that set them at eases “it’s not all punishment and Tartarus you know. Statistically few souls on the grand scale are malign enough to enter there. The Asphodel Meadows are quite pleasant, I assure you.”)

Logan works so hard and tirelessly at his often depressing job, but never acts mean or harsh unless a soul is nasty or rude or was truly evil, and Patton gains an admiration of him for that. (besides, he is actually quite handsome and beautiful in a cold distant way, like the stars and moonlight on a midsummers night) Patton also sees what a softie Logan can be when he’s playing with Cerberus. (”Who’s my excellent tri-headed canine? Who is a good demon dog?”) Patton gushes and of course Cerberus and Patton LOVE each other. Watching Patton play with the big dog becomes Logan’s newest favorite thing. (”By the gods Virgil, it is too precious to process!”)

Sometimes Patton will keep Logan company when there’s a lull in souls. He’ll tell Logan about all the different places he’s seen and what mortals are like when still alive. Logan meanwhile will often go into rants about the fascinating bits of knowledge he’s accumulated over the years from souls who’ve lived full lives. Logan enjoys having someone who enjoys listening to him (not that Virgil isn’t a respectful listener, but Logan sometimes wonders if he only does is because he’s his boss) And Patton really likes being able to share his own opinions and ideas without condescendingly albeit gently being told, (“no, no, my silly sweet boy. This is the right way to do it. Now eat your cereal, you need the fiber sweet pea”) Having picked up some of the mortal’s sense of humor, Patton is very much a fan of word play and LOVES making puns. Logan is...less than amused by them. However, the first time he makes Patton laugh with a clever quip (about Virgil or one of the more disgruntled souls) he swore the whole Underworld actually lit up. He treasures every time he can make that precious god laugh and smile.

Heck, even Virgil warms up to Patton and actually becomes VERY protective of the spring god. Patton sees through to his anxious softie center and enjoys talking to Virgil who is a very good listener. Meanwhile Virgil finds Patton’s sunny disposition refreshing and his warm presence calming. Patton will often keep Virgil company, but can’t always bring himself to follow when he has to ride across the River Styx. The memories and voices coming off the water just make him too sad.

Virgil ends up playing wingman for Logan. He tells Logan how Patton’s been a bit down in the dumps and recommends Logan cheer him up with a present. “That is an excellent idea Virgil, but what? What could possibly be good enough for that sweet honeysuckle?” “Well you’ve spied on him enough times- and don’t try to deny it boss- what does he like?”

Sufficed to say, Patton LOVES his surprise underworld garden that Logan had worker rigorously on creating for him. He knows it couldn’t have been easy. Of course, being the god of the dead, Logan cannot maintain the garden and Patton is more than happy to have free creative reign over it. He giddily catches Logan in a big hug, and is pleased when a blushing Logan returns the heartfelt embrace, pressing a tender kiss to Patton’s forehead. Then he takes a blushing Patton’s hands in his.

”Patton, my honeysuckle, sunshine of my heart...I cannot contain it any longer. For so long you’ve been the object of my affection, but over the course of our time together down here, although the circumstances had been less than idea, my love for you has only deepened. Would you perhaps...although I am not worthy of you...would you consider marrying me, and ruling the Underworld by my side?” By now Patton is blushing like crazy and in tears because, although he’d been mad at Logan for getting him stuck down there at first, he realizes that he’s come to deeply love the dark god too. Logan worries that he’s crossed a line but then Patton beams and looks up at him with tears in his eyes. “Oh Lo-lo, my brilliant beautiful lobelia blossom, I-” BAM!

Cue a properly pissed off Roman crashing down to the Underworld. He’s also got Deceit/Zeus with him by the ear. “AHA! So THIS is where you’ve been keeping my precious boy!” “Deceit, you told him!?” “He got it out of me. Sorry, not Sorry. I may be the ruler of the gods, but Roman is quite -ow- convincing when angry.”

Roman rushes over to Patton and they embrace, because although it was nice having time to himself Patton did miss his beloved father. After Roman fusses over Patton-“Are you alright? Are you hurt? have you been eating properly?” “yes, yes, i’m fine father. I promise!”- Roman unleashes verbal hell on, well, the god of hell. He reprimands Logan for kidnapping his son, but Patton quickly comes to Logan’s defense saying that it wasn’t his fault and the whole thing had been an accident, not a kidnapping. When he hears the whole story Roman does calm down a bit, and is admittedly happy to see Patton so happily in love as well. (he may be a helicopter parent, but the god of the harvest is quite the romantic at heart and loves seeing Patton so happy. Even if he doesn’t think the doom and gloom Logan is good enough for his precious little sunflower)

But upon finding out about the pomegranate sees he practically begs Logan to release him so that Patton can come back to the land of the living with him. (besides, he does still need him to help with the seasons and crops) Logan apologizes, saying it’s impossible and there’s nothing he can do. He just doesn’t have that kind of power. Then all three hear Deceit clear his throat.

“Ahem. God of gods speaking, and if you’re all done blubbering, i may have a solution.” So he tells them that there may be a loophole he can work around. He’ll give Logan his blessing to marry Patton, who will also be allowed to go back upworld with Roman, but on the condition that Patton spends part of the year co-ruling the Underworld. He tells them that for the number of pomegranate seeds that Patton ate, he’ll be obligated to spend a month with Logan. “Well darling, how many seeds did you eat?” They all look at Patton expectantly. Technically Patton only at 3 seeds, but heckitty heck, he really wants more time with Logan than three months. And frankly, he enjoyed the idea of getting some time away from Roman too, bless him but he cannot face so much nagging again!

He lies and says six. Only six seeds. Because it’s not like anyone was there to see him or could know. Weeeell maybe the all seeing god of gods, but Deceit just winks and smirks at Patton, pressing a finger in secrecy to his lips behind Logan and Roman’s backs. So it’s agreed that Patton will spend the summer and spring half of the year in the Living world with Roman and the fall and winter half ruling the Underworld with Logan.

Before he goes back up with Roman though, Patton and Logan are wed. It’s Logan’s first and only time back to Olympus (he forgot how bright and noisy it was up there!) and all the greek gods and goddesses bear witness to their union. Even Virgil is granted a short vacation to be the witness of honor for his two favorite immortals. As it turns out the months apart end up being good for Roman as well as Patton. He gets a lot more work done now that he isn’t constantly fretting (actively anyways) over Patton or keeping him out of trouble or from wandering.

When they consummate their marriage for the first time, hoooboi! Logan’s so bashful but respectful (never having been with any other being before, mortal or immortal) and Patton thinks its adorably sweet. Having been topside, well, lets just say Patton snuck off every now and then when he could to “frolic” with a few naiads and mortals he found sweet or lovely. So he ends up being a thorough teacher to Logan. Turns out they’re quite compatible in more ways than one ;)

Patton ends up being a fantastic co-king of the underworld. Heck, he’s even incorporated the new job into his aesthetic (he always wears a crown of flowers and bird skulls in the Underworld) and, as it turns out, can be even scarier than Logan! Only when some foolish soul makes him mad or gets on his bad side. So none do. And with the souls being more behaved it takes the pressure off of Virgil and Logan a LOT. But for the most part Patton remains a sweet, kind and benevolent co-ruler to the dead souls, and balances out Logan’s stricter judgements quite well. Logan now has a bit more breather time to read and play with Cerberus since he’s not the only one in charge of the whole Underworld anymore. And he and Patton LOVE spending time together in Patton’s dark yet flourishing underworld garden!

Patton is always so happy to go back to the Living world with Roman when winter’s over. Of course he hates leaving Logan and misses him. Logan doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his sadness and tears, but understands. He does get a bit clingy their last nights though. (he becomes a kissy snuggly fiend) Virgil always promises Patton that he’ll take care of Logan while he’s gone. But Patton is a child of the earth and he does tend to miss the sunshine and his father. So he get’s back to work with a newfound exuberance, making the flowers grow, spending time with Roman and frolicking about the world. He always does his best to bring back a new scroll or star map for Logan, who treasures every gift and is slowly building a library for himself.

Sufficed to say, the decades pass by, Logan and Patton attentively fulfill their godly duties, and remain happily and devotedly in love with one another.

Tag List: @altruistic-skittles @thekeytohappiness-is-you @canadian-crofters@icecoldparadise @the-pastel-peach @justisaisfine @bluebloodstains@purpleshipper @patchworkofstars @axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly@pink-and-purple-flowers @jynxlovesluck @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6@hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @accidental-sanders @moonstone-fox @smokeyrutilequartz@phlying-squirrel @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton @notveryglittery@eequalsmcscared @safesandersides @lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @ab-artist @unikornavenger @queer-human-being @grey-lysander @asofterfan @fangirltothefullest @tinkslittlebelle @allsortsofgeekery @fuck-my-life-i-want-food @ironwoman359

#KDsWriting #Persophone&Hades AU #logicality #sanders sides #sanders sides au #Logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #persephone #Hades #sanders sides fandom #famders #greek gods au

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sirfrogsworth · 6 years ago

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On letting go and being friends.

jicklet replied to your post “A review that turns into a rant.”

This means a lot to me. I've lost a lot of, well, what I thought were friendships with dudes due to the not moving on thing. You've got a good attitude about it, Froggy.

Sadly, this lesson took me way too long to learn. I was influenced by peers and society to think of every friendship with a woman as a potential romantic entanglement. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I realized how toxic and ridiculous that attitude was.

When you view everything through that romantic lens, it taints the friendship. You stop trying to bond normally and everything turns into strategizing.

“Maybe if I think of more flattering compliments.” “Maybe if I give unexpected gifts.” “MAYBE IF I’M A NICE GUY™.”

I had this notion that continued effort could win hearts. I had seen it in movies and TV shows. My friends even told me that I should keep trying. Perhaps I could wear her down and magically she would see me in a different light.

If you persist you can win your prize!

But people aren’t prizes. You can’t exchange your Nice Guy™ points for romantic rewards. And feelings of attraction rarely change.

I wish more young people understood that attraction is a fickle thing. Much of it takes place in that stubborn lizard brain. The feeling is either there or not. One look. One conversation can be all it takes to decide.

Yes, sometimes people can take a bit longer to warm up.

But not that long.

Once someone has a decent perception of who you are as a person... if they aren’t feeling that biz in their brain and bits... move on.

(I know not everyone feels things in their bits, but it was good alliteration and I couldn’t help myself.)

And maybe give some serious consideration to friendship. Real friendship. If for one second you think “Aww, man. I’m in the stupid friendzone!”... that isn’t real. Friendship is not a substandard consolation prize. If you feel that way, kindly punch yourself in the face, apologize for being a buttmunch, and excuse yourself from their life.

If someone had just explained this to me at 15, I could have saved myself so much heartache. So much embarrassment. And there are probably some friends of mine who I put into uncomfortable situations that were completely unnecessary. I shouldn’t have needed 32 hints to understand. The fact that some of those women still talk to me decades later is a miracle.

But the worst part is the regret. I ruined two very close friendships because I kept trying to create a spark that didn’t exist.

And I wasted soooo... much... time.

I didn’t even consider exploring other, more realistic options. I let potential romantic pairings slip away because I wouldn’t let go.

My brain got switched into angsty melodrama mode.

“She’s the one.” “She’s my soulmate.” “She just doesn’t know it yet!”

I’m so embarrassed to even admit I was like that.

Eventually, I realized that once I dropped the romantic pretense, I got along better with the women in my life more than the men. It was a huge lightbulb moment. (And no, this isn’t a “grrr... men suck” deal. Those specific men at that time just sucked, okay?) I found my interactions with the women in my life more rewarding. It was so much easier to be emotional. It felt freeing to open up in that way. To talk about deeper things. To have more intimate conversations without any awkwardness. Even the hugs were better. Hugging men was always like... *pat pat* *release* and then no eye contact for ten seconds after hug completion. I had more fulfilling handshakes.

My guy friendships all seemed to focus around pure geekery and my ability to make them laugh. Video games or sports or computers or the latest cool media franchise. I enjoyed talking about shared interests. I liked making people laugh. But then I’d talk about my depression or poor health and they’d get uncomfortable. If I wasn’t happy-fun-guy all the time they’d just nod and try to change the subject. As I got sicker, I didn’t have the energy to be “on” all the time. It was exhausting to try.

Once I finally started accepting the women in my life as nothing more than friends, I found a source of emotional support that I really needed. And I was decent at returning that, so our friendships were more even. Mutually beneficial. I could be funny when I wanted to. I could be serious when I wanted to. I could be a shoulder to cry on. They could be a much needed hugging companion. And that was so much more important than trying to find a date. My body was falling apart and romance seemed so trivial. The women in my life took care of me. The men faded away.

Then I started being bothered with how my male friends talked about women. Bragging about sneakily watching girls in yoga pants work out. Talking about their significant others looks as if those were their only admirable features. Detailing sexual conquests as if they were recapping a sporting event. Asking me when I was going to “hit that” about my friends. Then making fun of me when I told them it wasn’t like that.

As I got closer to women, the more I saw them as equals and well... human beings. I mean, I wasn’t very directly sexist or misogynistic in general. But I also never thought about sexism or misogyny even when it was right in front of me. My issues were more internalized.

These conversations with men started really frustrating me. I found myself playing the part of “bro” and feeling scummy afterward. If that happened today I’m hoping I’d have the courage to say something. But I was just figuring this stuff out and was a bit of a chicken then.

Ever since that lightbulb moment I’ve been much more open to just being friends with women. And I’m a bit pickier when befriending men. I know someone is probably going to read this and think I’m trashing all men. It’ll be the M&Ms all over again. All I can say is that these are anecdotal examples of my personal experiences. If people generalize beyond that scope, that is up to them.

What’s the expression?

Not all men? Some of my best friends are men! My father is a man! My dog is a tiny furry man!

All kidding aside... I think the quality of all my friendships (men/women/non-binary) has increased substantially since I had this epiphany. I just sought out more fulfilling relationships in general.

I think I’ll end with a relevant story.

I had a crush on my current best friend in the whole world.

For about 3 days.

We were exchanging Facebook messages. Getting to know each other. I thought she was cute. After a few days she mustered up her courage and let me know that she was gay. She feared that would be the end of our communications. In the past, many guys would just disappear once that bomb dropped. She worried it would be the same with me.

Maybe 15 years ago that would have been me. I don’t know.

But she was hilarious and talented and smart and adorable. Our conversational chemistry was incredibly in sync. Talking to her took almost no energy because everything came so naturally. And for someone with CFS, that is a rare delight. I don’t know if I have ever connected that strongly that quickly with anyone in my life.

After that message, I immediately ended my crush and started our friendship. The easiest and best decision I’ve ever made.

I was just like... “You’re awesome! Let’s be friends!” She was like “YAY!” And I was like “YAY!” And the rest is history.

It’s been 5 years and we’re closer today than we’ve ever been.

But the fact that we even had that exchange is the reason I think we need to be teaching this to young people. Telling someone you are unavailable romantically should not even be a bomb that is dropped. It should be a low pressure FYI.

I’m not saying you can’t be disappointed. Or that you should be able to instantly turn off feelings like a light switch. That takes time and experience. I’m also not saying you need to be friends with every person that rejects you. I’m just saying don’t pass up a good thing.

You can learn to move on.

Once you accept the reality, it’s actually not that hard. And the more you do it, the easier it is to let go.

You can just be friends.

Once you abandon the romantic nonsense, you might even find a closer, more rewarding bond.

This mindset changed my life and gave me a best friend. I feel like a less sucky person too.

I highly recommend it.

Epilogue

I will now patiently wait for angry messages from men who say I drank the feminist Kool-Aid and I’m saying all this just to attract women. Even though that is contrary to everything I just said and it has had a 0 percent success rate so far. (Not that I’m keeping track. It’s just that 0 is pretty easy to count to.)

Or that I’m white-knighting and trying to appear virtuous even though the things I’ve described are mostly the bare minimum for being a decent human and require no adulation. You shouldn’t expect a cookie for doing what is... well... expected.

Also, I’m not putting all women up on a pedestal either. I’ve encountered plenty of sucky women in my life. I just think sometimes men can have this layer of societally influenced suck that interferes with emotionally rewarding friendships. If that layer of suck was removed I think we’d all be better off. And happier. And maybe the hugs would be nicer.

Yeah, I’m still gonna get messages. Oh well.

#jicklet

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lifeofnickripley · 6 years ago

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Game of Thrones: Fav characters and characters I dislike

(Long post) Kay so, today is the premiere of the final season, guess I'll do my top Ten favorite characters(it is pretty much my favorite show of all time). Show only since I have yet to read the books. If you wonder my opinion on any character not mentioned I either forgot to mention them or I didn't think they really earned a spot on the lists. Yes I do censor things in this a bit buuut I want my web comic to have a wider audience so yea, deal with it. (SPOILER WARNING, at this point, if ur not caught up tho, you have only yourself to blame) Liked Honorable mentions: - Melisandre - before I found out bout the necklace, I had the HUGEST crush on her. She's evil, yes, but she adds a sense of wonder and magic to the show, so I still like her character (other than that necklace scene obviously). Plus Jon wouldn't be back if it weren't for her so haters gonna hate. - Bronn- if he doesn't get his damn castle...lol I doubt I need to say why this wise cracking sword for hire is a favorite, I think most people love him. - Yara Greyjoy - Badass pirate/Viking chick on the high seas? Hell yeah! Plus I love Greyjoy armor, I don't doubt Euron will probably kill her though. - Oberyn Martell - Awesome character, the Red Viper was fierce with a spear and even moreso with his attitude. Unfortunately his pride wound up being his undoing in the end, arguably one of the most effective deaths in the series. - Tormund Giantsbane - How can you not love this absolute bro? I don't even like Brienne and I ship them. Geniune badass. - Jorah Mormont - Lord of the Friend zone, his loyalty makes him one of my favs, not top ten tier though - Petyr Baelish: The events of Game of Thrones wouldn't have happened without this slimy bastard. He was smart and cunning (which made him fun to watch) and though his death was cool, the build up was kind of weak (weird Sansa/Arya storyline) Favorite characters: 10.) Ned Stark - Everyone's original favorite character, his death cemented that GOT wasn't f*ckin around. I mean, damn, still a brutal death scene to watch to this day. Props to Sean Bean for making his so awesome. He was honorable to a fault in a dishonorable world. 9.) Ramsey Bolton - Kay, so I might get some flack for this one, but he was a great bad guy. I mean he was legit terrifying and despicable! Made the Battle of the Bastards have an entirely different level of intensity than most of the battle scenes. Dude was an absolute monster, but unlike another widely disliked villain, this psycho got his own hands dirty instead of beckoning others to. His death scene was poetic but I kinda wanted it to be gorier. (I'm an edgelord though) 8.)Jon Snow - Awesome character, obviously I dig him, so why so low on the list? Honestly, there's characters I like more. But he's still really cool, definitely has the best fight scenes of any of the characters. WE BETTER SEE GHOST THIS SEASON THOUGH!! Lol things are gonna be hella awkward when he finds out Dany is his aunt, yet we still root for them as a couple...that's wincest for you hurr hurr hurr hurr (sorry) I could see him living in the end cus tbh killing him again would be repetitive BS. 7.)Tywin Lannister - Kay...so he died on the sh*tter (imo probably the worst place to die) AND he was an absolute d*ck to Tyrion...but dude, he was awesome. He literally has a song about him in the world of GOT that is used as a warning to others to not f*ck with him!! He took a house that was laughed at and turned it into one of the most feared houses in all of Westeros. That is pretty frickin cool. 6.) Cersei Lannister - Another one I'll get flack for but whatever lol She's cool! So what she shags her brother and is an awful human being? She's a badass! Did you SEE how she blew up all of her enemies in the court and solidified her queen status in one fell swoop? That was dope!! She's vile but very entertaining to watch. RIP the Tyrells. Probably gonna get choked out though by her brother like Maggie the frog predicted. (By my second favorite character no less) 5.) Daenerys Targaryen - Dany! One of my cats is named after her! I love this character. The dragons are amazing, she's cute, she's powerful, maybe a little insane cus of Targaryen madness, and she's overcome some amazing odds. Her storylines could be a little meh in the grand scheme of things but Emilia Clarke's portrayal has made a character that we really root for. I suspect she'll die personally by the Night King buuuuut we'll see. 4.)Tyrion Lannister -Tyrion's writing has gone down a bit in recent seasons but still, most people's favorite Lannister. His quick wit and resilience make him a solidified favorite. Still seems like the person you'd most wanna drink with. I'd be pretty damn surprised if he bit the dust. 3.) Arya Stark - My other cat is named after her and there's a good reason why, SHE'S BASICALLY BECOME A FREAKING FACE STEALING NINJA!!! She was always likeable and I think I've enjoyed almost every storyline she's been a part of (excluding her main one last season) Maisie Williams is a great actress and I hope to see more of her in the future. I doubt Arya will die, but based on that one trailer, things do seem rather bleak for her. Who knows...maybe GRRM wants a divorce... 2.) Jaime Lannister - Yes. This dude is my favorite Lannister. In case you couldn't tell, Lannister is my favorite house. He's really had the best redemption arc in the series. He went from a character I disliked to my second favorite. I predict he will be the one to kill his sister, what happens to him after that, idk. It'll be awkward when he meets Bran again though... 1.) The Hound (Sandor Clegane) - CLEGANEBOWL BETTER HAPPEN!! Kay so... admittedly I screamed like a little freaking girl when this character came back. He... HE'S JUST SO FREAKING COOL!! Admittedly being a 6 footer and a rather grumpy individual, I probably relate to him more than I'd like to admit. Probably will die, but as long as he fights his brother, I'll be a very happy edgelord. Characters I dislike: 10.) Sansa Stark - Kay so I just...I dislike her, I never liked her. I feel sorry for her, sure. She's gotten better over time, sure. I still see her as very entitled and kinda whiny/bratty. She'll probably die. If not I won't be disappointed, still though, not a fan of Sansa. It was cool how she killed Ramsey, tho again, do wish the scene was gorier. 9.) Robb Stark - Ned Stark 2.0 but way less cool. Nuff said. I was okay with his death in the Red Wedding. Shouldn't have made a promise you weren't gonna commit to. Even if Walder Frey is a d*ck. 8.) Catelyn Stark - She was just such a jerk to Jon Snow and Tyrion, seriously. Even moreso in the books from what I have read of them. She got on my nerves. Honestly, I don't feel like Lady Stoneheart would've added much in terms of storyline. 7.) Brienne of Tarth: I find her annoying. Sure, her fight with the hound was FREAKING COOL, but she's kinda too self righteous for her own good. Duty is her thing and all but she is really not good at holding up to her vows. Still ship her and Tormund though. 6.) Theon Greyjoy - hated this dude, then felt sorry for him, now I roll my eyes at him. Honestly, Greyjoys other than Yara are pretty meh characters. Good for him finally regaining figurative cajones. Doubt he'll save his sister though, or survive the White Walkers for that matter. 5.) Euron Greyjoy - this one is a shame cus I hear the book character is amazing. Feels like a pretty generic bad guy of the week type for a show with outstanding villains. Funny like here or there, but kinda a weak character overall. Theon will probably kill him, though I'd love to see a twist where he kills Theon. 4.) Walder Frey - Old dude that got what was coming to him, props to the guy who plays Filch, portrayed two characters who were absolutely despicable. I doubt I really have to list the ways this cowardly character was despicable. Awesome death scene though. Winter came for House Frey. 3.) Shae - Grrrr. The actual actress I feel very sorry for cus I've heard her story, but man this character. Dumb but smart enough to screw over Tyrion. For personal reasons, I really hate this character, reminds me of people I've known. 2.) Tommen and Myrcella Baratheon - Most. Useless. Lannisters. Ever. I'm a Lannister fan so you could see why I roll my eyes so hard with these two. Tommen rolled over so hard you might as well have called him a wheel. And Myrcella was just kinda there, admittedly sad to watch her death scene though (pretty much moreso because it was the only time Jaime was really able to connect with his daughter) 1.) Joffrey Baratheon - Everyone probably saw this coming. Joffrey is that kid on the playground that'd hit you, you'd hit back, they'd start crying and get you in trouble. Everybody knew that kid, I think that's why everyone hates this character so. But man, his death scene was soooo satisfying. Props to the Jack Gleason for making him so horrible. There ya have it. My opinions on GOT characters. Freaking excited for tonight's premiere!! WINTER IS HERE!!

#Game of thrones #favorite #characters #Arya #the hound #Jon Snow #Daenerys #Cersei #Lannister #Jaime #Tyrion #Stark #Targaryen #Winterfell #Ramsey Bolton #Sansa #Robb

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dreammutual-remade · 7 years ago

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mua!you and lucas

request: hi may you please do a bullet point scenario about lucas and his girlfriend who is a make up artist for nct. thank youu- anon

word count: 3.4k

a/n: anon !!! thank u for requesting I lowkey struggled with this concept bc I was like uhhh how r they gonna u know,,, do the affection but once I figured it out this was so fun to write !!! I love Lucas hehehehehe. also I realized when I was picKINg this gif that I forgot to include the filming of the yearbook shiygeidfhvf pretend it didn't happeN okay

ps I have 8 requests as of now and I promise I will get to all of them pls have patience w/ me ily all <33333

good evening, Thots

let us dive in, shall we

alright so you had been doing makeup since you were a wee lass !!

of course it was , pretty terrible but like practice makes perfect and now you’re an absolute LEGEND

one of your friends convinced you to start posting tutorials and have an instagram acc dedicated to your Iconic Looks and the rest was history !!!!

you started getting hella attention everyone loved you bitch !!!

so you started advertising you were like ayy if y’all need your makeup done , hmu i am Skilled

at first you started out doing other gals makeup for formal dances and whatnot

then you climbed your way up the celebrity ladder and now you’re a god damn nct makeup artist ?????

things you did: THAT

alright so you got hired just in time for cherry bomb promotions

you took a look at some of their past looks and ,,,,, you were horrified honestly who did that to them

SM CAN GET FUCKED

anyways you Turned Their Shit Around and had them lookin bout fine as hell

all the boys had been super awkward around you at first and it was soooo funny

because you were pretty used to being v close to people you don’t know well

from all the years of doing other people’s makeup now you just go right in

you got real close to mark and he squeaked and like pressed himself back into the chair

like ? shouldn’t he be used to this by now ???

johnny was the only one who was cool with you the first time even if he was an absolute SLEAZEBAG

“sorry if i get all up in your face i’m just trying to keep your eyebrows FLEEKY U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN”

“nah i don’t mind having a face like yours that close ;)))))”

“oops didn’t mean to bump into your knee like that”

“that’s okay my lap is always open for u :}”

he’s the worst god i love him

you’re on the younger side too so he’s all,

c̢̖̲̹̞̰̪ͅa̫͠l̶̜̞l̠̝͇͠ ̪̙͕̲̫̯m̙̪͖e̱͙̦̳̦̝͢ ͕̼̳̰̞o̹p҉͖̘͙͍̞̲p͍̙͙͙̹̖͞a҉̠͓̠̜͕

and you’re all

taeyong asks how old you are and as soon as he finds out you’re younger than him he becomes your mom

you’ll be doing his makeup and he’s like okay but have u eaten today ??? you look too thin please eat

“one: stop moviNG IM TRYING TO CONTOUR YOU and two: please are u my damn grandmother i’m FINE i’ve eaten plenty :&&;&,$,”

you and haechan just roast each other the whole time

“yet another pimple i see, hyuckie, have you been keeping up with the skincare regimen i sent you home with?”

“first of all, fuck you, second of all, you sent me home with a piece of paper that said ‘you can wash your face to get rid of the acne but there’s nothing you can do about the ugly’ you evil WITCH”

but it’s all in good fun and you and hyuck are besties at heart and can tell when it’s not a good day for teasing

whenever you can tell he’s down you make sure to be extra playful when you’re putting on his makeup, tapping him on the nose or tickling his ear with your makeup brush til he giggles

i’m soft gOD

THIS ISNT A DONGHYUCK FIC I GOTTA CHILL

the rest are pretty cool with you too!! yuta is a worse flirt than johnny though it’s like unnecessary but it’s funny and you know he’s , mostly kidding, so you let it slide

anyways !!! cherry bomb is coming to a close and you did That the entire time you had them absolutely GLOWING

but then you get some emails from your boss talking about a new NCT U song/concept that will be filmed toward the end of the year

((i think that’s when it was filmed ?? i’m so sorry if there’s inaccuracies in here i’m very bad with dates :’-)))))))

they tell you you’re traveling to the UKRAINE

THATS FAR

and VERY COLD

they also tell you that they’re gonna be debuting two new members in this unit and you’re a little Nervous since you’ve only been doing 127’s and Dream’s makeup for the past like , half a year

(u were responsible for the we young era,,,,, god bless u)

but you’re also excited because they described the concept to you and you’ve already got ideas to make everyone look Hot and Badass

your boss sent some predebut pics and said the new ones were Yukhei and Jungwoo and, wOW THEYRE PRETTY

jungwoo looks absolutely soft and squishy so you’re a bit worried about making him look ,,,,, BOSS but yukhei.

is a whOLE MAN

he’s got big eyes and lips that give him softer features but , the look in his eyes and like his cheekbones and ????? wow you’re gonna turn him into Daddy Material

anywhom

the time has come and we are on our way to the ukraine !!! yeehaw it’s cold as balls out here

you arrive and get to stay in the hotel for a night before you gotta Get To Work

you arrive bright and early with all your beauty products

you , as the resident makeup artist, look cute as hell even if you are rather cold

your nose is tinted a bit red even tho you have foundation on rip

you set up your little station in the main tent because they’re gonna film all the outdoor parts first

jaehyun walks in first with winwin and they he looks scruffy af

“jaehyun you DOLT did you not shave ??? you know that tickles my hand when i’m trying to make you hot”

“i’m already hot”

“uh huh go shave your face i guarantee you don’t want me to try”

“ugh, yes ma’am”

“hey winwinie~”

“good morning !!!”

winwin is Precious and Easy To Work With as usual

mark comes in next and he’s flustered and cute AS USUAL

of course he’s comfy with you now but you enjoy making him flustered

“mark, baby, you’re GLOWING today!!! go off king”

“y/N PLEASE ENOUGH”

doyoung comes next and his Flawless Skin makes the process so much easier for you ugh

reLEASE THE SKINCARE ROUTINE

COWARDS

anywhom you get to meet jungwoo next !!!

FUCKIN UWU

his blue hair ,,,,,,,, amazing

he’s so sweet and releases little breathy giggles every once in a while when the brushes tickle him

you’re finishing up with jungwoo when, the Man Himself literally stumbles into the tent

“hyUNG are you almost done we’re bout to film man”

and he is absolutely Large and you are , very appreciative god damn

even barefaced this man baby looks GOOD that is not fair :-(

“lucas!~ you still have to get your makeup done but i think y/n was almost finished. are you?”

jungwoo turns to look up at you while he asked and you, have to exercise GREAT restraint not to talk to him in a baby voice

so you just nod and then give him a once over and tell him he can go ahead to wardrobe

you wave yukhei over and you’re like hey uh ,,, yukhei? or should i call u lucas ?!/!:&:&

he cackles and asks you to call him lucas and asks your name and how old you are and what your star sign is and your favorite color and your nct bias

(when you tell him you love them all equally he’s all like Not For Long

>:-))) soon i shall PREVAIL)

basically he’s questioning you and you’re like oKAY PLEASE IM TRYING TO MAKE YOUR FACE BEAUTIFUL

“my face is already beautiful thank u very MUCH”

“you boys are all the same jaehyun already pulled that shit today, LAME”

he pouts and you tap him on the lip with the handle of your makeup brush and then Get To Work

you truly have him lookin RIGHT wooo shit he looks good

and as you’re doing it your brain is like that clip from sponge bob where squidward is like oh NO he’s hot !!!! :(

you’re doing his eye makeup and you’re standing, in between his legs like they’re so long and in the way it’s the only way to get close enough to to do it well and you’re highkey, Blushing

he’s literally just staring up at you while you do his makeup and your hands are starting to shake what business does he have with such big brown puppy dog eyes :((((

“hey quit staRINg at me dude”

“ am i making u,,,, nervous ;)”

“, YES pls stop :((“

“aw i’m srry :((((“

pouts AGAIN and you shove his shoulder a little for making fun of you

when you finish you just kind of nod and he takes that as a go ahead and like SPRINGS up

and you’re standing very close so he almost knocks you the hell over

you tip backwards and he grabs you by the waist to steady you while you basically grab handfuls of his clothes to keep you upright

there’s a pause where you guys are just.. pressed together before you fly apart and lucas awkwardly rubs the back of his neck like nervous boys do in movies AW

“i really gotta stop knocking people over i almost took oUT jungwoo earlier srry abt that :’-))))))”

you’re like haha it’s fine :’-))))))))))))))

it’s really awkward so he yeets out of there just as taeyong strolls in looking entirely too smug

“so, you’ve taken a liking to our newest member hmmmm ??”

“aw no jungwoo is just so cute !!”

“quit playing dumb you knew what i meant”

“okaY but literally nothing happened please don’t make this a big deal”

“it’s a big deal bbg it’s tOO LATE NOW”

you sigh and then do his makeup pretty quickly since even barefaced he looks unreal

fckin anime character

okay everyone is now made up and dressed (jaehyun came last freshly shaven , looking like a bar of soap as usual) and you’re on standby outside to fix any little blemishes they may get while filming

everything is pretty good because most of the boys are used to wearing makeup but lucas is Dumb and just like ?? rubs at his eye and wipes half of it off ????

you sCREECH as he’s doing it and he jumps and is like ??? what is it what’s wrong with you

“what’s wrong with me ??? wHATS WRONG WITH YOU I WORKED HARD TO MAKE YOU LOOK THAT ETHEREAL DAMNIT”

you have to fix it on the spot so y’all can stay on schedule so he does that thing where he stands with his legs super far apart so his face is level with yours

his legs are so far apart in order for him to be short enough rip (.... literally. pray for his pants u guys)

you fix up his eye and warm him that you’ll give him a black eye with your fist instead of makeup if he messes up your Artwork again

the shoot goes really well and you get to know lucas and jungwoo better throughout the rest of the filming

things are…. tense between you and lucas but not in like a bad way more like a we are both sort of attracted to each other and unsure what to do from here way

lucas gets braver as time passes and has become wayyyyy more flirty

the tension just sort of transforms to hardcore flirting and little fleeting touches jskdkfk

you havent stopped blushing for like 4 days straight

as you do his makeup he’ll stare up at you with fckn awestruck eyes and one of his hands will drift up to circle around your wrist as you tilt his head this way and that

its a GIANT hand too I just wanna mention that they're very nice hands thank you for your time

as you do his makeup you’ll purposefully let your hand linger on his neck and use your thumb to caress turn his jaw

when you stand between his legs to do his makeup he’ll scoot to the edge of the chair to get as Close As Possible until your hips are almost touching the inside of his thighs ???:$&:&:@:@

SPICY

but eventually the shoot is over :(((( rip

buT no worries ;))))) black on black is being filmed in like a month and you’ll see his goofy ass soon heheh

highkey black on black makes u , Hot And Bothered like the part where lucas is on the floor and doing thaT THING

YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

he highkey gets up and is like

did u like that babygirl ~~~ 😤😘💕🤪😩

and you just stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his tongue out at you and it’s Juvenile

“JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY!!!!”- johnny, from across the room

you: Red

lucas: wheezing

you guys pull all the same touchy flirty bullshit for this MV filming too and all the boys are like o.o

“hyung are u dating our makeup artist(¬‿¬) ” -chenle

“god i wish”

“what”

“i mean , no”

and now BOSS has been released and you’ve gotta do his makeup for all these stages and you two just , keep dancing around each other

when the boys get their first win for BOSS tho lucas is sO HYPE

because it’s his first time really performing live and they WON AND ???? THIS IS CRAZY

and he’s so happy he’s like shaking and he bursts into the dressing room after they all come off stage

he makes it there before everyone else because he RAN like a dork

you’re packing up all your stuff and hear the door open and you turn around to congratulate the boys but it’s just lucas and he runs in and pICKS YOU UP

he spins you around and sets you down and is like

JSDKSJDK Y/N WE WON ????

and you’re like

OMG YEAH I KNOW IM SO PROUD OF U ??!:&:@.

and then he just kisses you right on the lips in excitement

it’s just a press of lips and it was barely a kiss since he was still smiling so hard

his smile fades after and he looks , terrified

you also are terrified because ?

he’s Done It Now

the imaginary LINE has been CROSSED

but like, the barrier is broken now right ????

yolo

so you just shake your head and flick him on the nose

“damn you could have taken me to dinner first”

he laughs nervously because you haven’t made it clear whether or not you’re going to murder him and, That’s Scary

but you giggle and press up on your toes to kiss him more gently and tell him it’s okay and you like him and if he likes you back that would be GREAT

and he just smooshes you against him really hard and presses at least 26 kisses to your cheeks and it tickles and you’re like heY STOP THE LIPSTICK I PUT ON YOU WILL STAIN ME

“i like u too,, HEHEHHE”

“god you had to ruin it by cackling like the wicked witch of the west didn’t you???”

“absolutely, sweetheart :)”

okay the rest of nct u is on the way so you quickly agree that this should be a Semi Secret relationship because he’s so new to the scene and he’s probably not even allowed to date rn lol

but he INSISTS that he can treat you well no matter what and who are you to stop him honestly

he’s so blatant with the touching while you do his makeup now though that although you haven’t explicitly told anyone ,,, all the members of NCT know

he just loops his arms around your hips and pulls you close and blatantly admires you while you’re concentrated on his makeup

squeezes your ass every once in a while which makes you squeak and slap his shoulder

that little SHIT

one time taeil caught you sneaking in some food for lucas during dance practice and was like

“honestly just come in we all know you’re in a relationship gOD it’s so obvious”

so now you come to dance practice all the time with food for him and extra for the other boys

he’s always jealous

literally all the time

you’ll be doing marks makeup and hyping him up as usual

(baby bOY DESERVES IT)

and lucas will be :(((((( y don’t u say that stuff to me

“i literally say that and more to you and about you”

“okay but why not only me :(((((“

“oh my god”

or when you bring food he’ll be like NO she brought this for me go away you commoners !!!!!

honestly you feel like you’re taking care of a toddler sometimes except he’s HUGE

you have to be like

“now lucas, sharing is caring and i brought enough for everyone stop being gREEDY”

any free time he has he comes to your apartment

mainly because you guys want to be mushy and coupley and not have to listen to all the members whining and fake gagging

he’ll knock on your door at midnight with a blanket in hand and fresh out of the shower and looking CUTE

“can i sleep over :(((( i cant sleep without you:((((((“

BITCH

your heart melts oh my shosjdjdjckf

and this boy basically can’t sleep without you now because he sleeps over so much im emo

at first he insists on being the big spoon every time but after awhile Sleepy Baby Boy Lucas reveals himself

when he’s super tired he’ll just let himself in and climb in your bed and plant his head on your chest and his arms around your waist and just sigh contentedly

if he can’t sleep he’ll steal your hand and place it on top of his head and nudge you til you start running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp

uwu this is so cute

loves to hold your hands whenever possible

you guys can’t really go on dates since the relationship is Super Secret and he wants so bad to show you off but he CANT :/

so he just pretends y’all are out on the town and holds your hand at home when you’re just chillin

has taken to putting things you need in very high places so he can come up behind you and reach over your head to hand it to you

okay but like once in a while you both do your best to have a Normal Date where you go out doors you just have to be

Incognito Mode

so summer dates dont really work out since it’s hard to hide your identity when you’re not covered head to toe because it’s HOT

they’re mainly winter dates like ice skating and hot chocolate and fall festival stuff !!!!

he insists that you go to any festival in town like INSISTS

festival for a random and obscure flower?? you best believe you’re attending and going home covered flowers

he tried to make you a flower crown but it kept falling apart so he just stuck flowers all up in your hair AWE

forced you to pose so he could take pictures of you

(he made it his lock screen !!!! uwu)

this boy just, loves you so much and the day he tells you is when you’re both sick and dying because he got a cold and then gave it to you so you’re both laying in bed feeling Terrible

you’re laying there and feeling lightheaded and too hot but you’re both Clingy so you still hold hands at least lmao

and lucas tugs on your hand and you flop on your side to look at him expectantly

“yes, lucas?”

“hey”

“guess what”

“hmmmmm what”

“i love you”

“oh, me too”

“like you love me too or you love you too”

“U2 is alright i guess”

“no i mean do you love me or yourself”

“both”

“sweet, self love is important too”

and theN YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE PASS OUT HEHSHS

WHO CONFESSES THEIR LOVE LIKE THAT ????

when you wake up you feel slightly better and look over and see Your Man sprawled out over the bed with one arm haphazardly thrown over you

he rlly can’t sleep without a hand on you that is so so cute fuckdjkdjd

you remember confessing your love to each other in a delirious and feverish haze and snicker because it was RIDICULOUS

you gently turn to face him so you don’t wake him up and trail your fingertips up his arms to trace his features

his eyes flutter open and he’s literally unreal like he looks like an angel

and he smiles all sleepy like and brings his hand up to capture your wrist and kiss your palm

“good morning i’m no longer fucked up on theraflu and i love you”

“good morning i’m also no longer fucked up and i love you MORE”

he scoffs dramatically

“not possible !!!!!”

“is too !!!”

“is nOT”

“IS TOO”

“IS NOT”

and so on :-)

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

Text

Skam NL episodes 4 and 5 reaction

This is incredibly late but there was no way I was not going to write about Engel’s detour into waxing hell.

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Piesiepoepselaar

Isa and Kes are lying together in the morning and it’s very serene. He’s had the same nightmare as Jonas did in the original, though I think the context is different … russ is like a thing that Jonas objects to on principle, would Kes be against just taking a city trip?

He’s like, “You took off your shirt and made out with everyone, boys and girls.” Lmao, I don’t think Isa is going to get that wild in Tallinn.

Isa replies that she’ll only take off her shirt for Kes. So this isn’t really a hint of an actual problem or any condescension on his part, they’ve re-purposed this exchange into some purely flirty interaction.

This cute moment is interrupted by Isa’s mom unexpectedly popping in. She calls her daughter “pissing pooper”? Hands down the best/worst nickname I have heard a parent call their child. And of course Kes loves it.

Clip 2 - Orgy preparation

Isa gets a call from “Pap” soooo her dad is still kind of in the picture?

Engel bounds up to Isa, she looks very happy to see her. And when Janna and Imaan come up, she also looks happy to see them. Engel is so cute.

Except LMAO, GOD. She addresses Imaan with “Salaam-Alaikum,” and seems a little proud of herself, as if she Googled “how to speak Muslim” over the weekend. So I guess instead of being an outright exclusionary racist, she’s going to be like … a well-intentioned white ally who goes too far and ends up othering her Muslim friend by not treating her the same as the non-Muslims? That’s a pretty interesting take. It certainly puts Engel in a better light than Vilde, since she is trying to be inclusive rather than rejecting Imaan, but it also explores Imaan’s struggle with having to deal with people treating her differently than her peers, or changing their behavior toward her since she’s a Muslim.

Imaan is just like “.... Hi.” I feel like at some point she’s going be like, “Look, you can just treat me like you’d treat anyone else.”

Janna starts coughing, and at first I thought she was trying to salvage the awkward moment, but she’s actually gesturing for Engel to look over yonder because GUESS WHAT, a certain dude is climbing the stairs.

Dutch William has a very long coat and seems more like an artsy edgy hipster kid, maybe, than a regular king-of-the-school fuckboy. His head is down so we don’t get a full view of his face, it’s like he’s ~mysterious and gives no fucks.

That blond dude from the party, Gijs, is part of Dutch William’s (Noah’s) crew, of course, and nods in recognition to Isa. They’re like, HOLY SHIT, Isa, what happened there?

Apparently one of them (Gijs or Noah) the wildest parties, with orgies. And not some weak-ass orgies where people sit in the hot tub together. Full-on power orgies with naked bodies. Janna sure knows her orgy classifications.

Engel’s facial expressions when Janna mentions orgies, lmao. This little frown.

The girls are like, “There’s a party this Friday,” and Isa’s like “...OK?” Imaan has to explain that Janna and Engel want Isa to flirt with the guy so they can get in to the party. She takes Isa’s phone and does her thing. Well, that’s interesting because Imaan doesn’t seem so invested personally in going to the party? I mean, there’s no real benefit to their city trip. Is she doing it because Janna and Engel want to? Like she wants to be in with these girls and have friends?

Janna is amused and laughs at Imaan’s liking all of Gijs’ pics. Engel just seems stunned. A Muslim did that???? Maybe she had Imaan all wrong. Maybe she needs to consult Google again.

Clip 3 - BUY YOUR OWN GODDAMN FRIES

Isa, Kes, and Lucas go out for food. Isa is the only one to order fries, and when she asks if they want fries, they’re like nahhhh. IMMEDIATELY my bullshit detector went off. They’re going to steal her fucking fries, aren’t they?

At one point the word “EVEN” is visible through the window, heh.

Lucas has injured his left hand, which I am assuming is a thing the actor did IRL and they had to explain it into the story. Kes roasts Lucas about his injury (which happened while skateboarding) and Lucas is like, “At least I take risks.” Yeah, some of those risks will apparently involve fucking up your friends’ relationship?

Kes asks Isa if they’re going to hang out at her place, I am assuming just the two of them, while Lucas gives Kes a long look. Actually, those are some high-quality Looks that Lucas has been serving to Kes. Make sure this show gets to season 3, okay? So he can put his pining face to good use.

Kes says the whole thing about Isa’s mom not knowing about him, and that Isa is ashamed of him, and Lucas is like, well, she’s right!

But of course Gijs is now sending her messages about Isa’s IG stalking. Just as Kes is offering to cook for her and her mom. Isa, let him cook for you! That’s more proactive than any Jonas has offered yet, right?

Gijs is turned on by Isa stalking him. You know, I’ve never just how many kinks the P-Chrises have, like he’s into nerds, being stalked, pretending to be the Eva’s dad/mom/whatever ... he’s just up for anything.

Lucas mentions that Isa has too many new friends, maybe even a new boyfriend, and THAT is some snake-ass shit, planting that seed out there. Even if he’s just talking shit and kidding. He doesn’t know he’ll be kinda right, but man, will Kes remember that when shit hits the fan? Kes seemed so indifferent though, like he’s all “lady friends” and not taking it seriously.

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT, THEY STEAL HER GODDAMN FRIES. Taking advantage of her distraction while messaging Gijs.

This is the realest shit though, like nothing Jonas and Isak said about Eva’s involvement in russ compared to this disrespect. Teenage boys are the WORST.

But yeah, there’s not nearly as much putting down of Isa’s friends or activities (since who is gonna be like “it’s so CAPITALISTIC that you want to take a fun trip to a city”?) apart from some passive-aggressiveness about Kes not meeting Isa’s mom and Isa being too popular. Still, it feels less mean, and Isa didn’t seem as attacked.

Clip 4 - The most important conversation I’ve ever heard

The title of this clip was “full bush baby” and I was like … is that really going to refer to what I think it is? Like either we are talking about a small primate, or someone’s private hedge maze.

I love Janna looking like a hot mess in every scene. Like she literally rolled out of her bed, which is an ostrich nest, and went to school. She’s telling a story about opening a beer in class while Engel looks bothered about something in the background.

OH MY GOD, Engel looks troubled not because of any angsty Noah pining or Imaan drama or any of what you’d expect, but because she shaved her pubic hair and it itches. WE STAN.

…. Is this taking the place of the birth control conversation??? Instead of Engel asking about birth control, she wants the girls to tell her how they remove their pubic hair?

I am not remotely surprised that Janna is a full bush baby.

Imaan saying she dyes hers red, white, and blue = MY LOVE.

Engel takes that completely seriously judging by her confused little face. Engel’s life is 90% confusion.

Janna says if she waxes, she can wax a lightning bolt. Please be a Harry Potter reference. (You know, I’m sure wizards have hair removal spells and all, but I’m imagining someone being like ACCIO PUBES and ripping out everything at once.)

Engel is nervous about waxing. Oh my God, instead of the nurse, are they going to go for a bikini wax together?????

Isa gets a text. Turns out they’re going to the party! Engel gets excited and starts throwing out outfit possibilities.S he rambles a bit and then Imaan does the “shhh, you talk too much” moment.

Now it feels a little out of place, because Engel, while not behaving perfectly, has been way less of an ass to Imaan? And I get that this is for Engel’s own preservation, sort of, but they’re not trying to gain social capital at the level that Vilde and Sana were. The OG girl squad wanted to attract cool people to their bus and hook up with popular boys; NL girl squad isn’t concerned with getting cool people on their trip, and while they want to go to parties, they don’t have this firm objective of hooking up with the popular dudes. So the moment seemed a bit out of nowhere. I mean, Engel rambling about her outfits is tedious, but harmless.

Imaan has some gorgeous lashes, by the way.

Clip 5 - This is a very serious show

Oh my God, they DID go for a bikini wax. So is the state of Engel’s pubic hair going to be a plot point? Does she want it to look groomed for him?

Okay, I’m laughing that Norwegian-style bush is a heart (ALT ER LOVE), French pubes are a mustache, and Dutch hedges are … flames? A flower? A flower for the ladygarden.

THE GRAVE IMPORTANCE OF THIS SCENE. The music and the cherub mural really add to the atmosphere.

Janna talks about an ass wax because of course she does.

I love that you hear a scream from the other room. Perfect.

I laughed out loud that Engel just shakes her head and runs. And that Imaan puts her arms around the girls and eggs them on.

I like Skam to have a plot and all but I would thoroughly enjoy 10 episodes of just random calamities in pubic hair removal.

Clip 6 - Orgy time

OH DAMN, I LOVE

This is my favorite episode 4 (or equivalent) power walk other than the original. I LOVE it. The song choice! The girls look like they’re having a blast. Engel jumping on Liv’s back!!! Imaan yelling in sync with the rooster crying!!!

ESPECIALLY with the juxtaposition of this badass power walk, the girls getting hyped and feeling cool on the way to the party - because yeahhhh!!!! Young and free, bitches!!!!! - with the pause where they’re actually standing in front of the door, debating over who has to ring the bell. That’s utterly beautiful, I love it. Expectations vs. reality right there.

Liv being like “It’s open,” lol.

Engel knows Olivia and company, I don’t think they said how?? Because we knew how Vilde knew Ingrid. But I mean, they go to school together, soooo. (Or did Engel get kicked off a city trip group?)

Janna, you promised an orgy, and this is a bunch of teenagers drinking and dancing in a basement. The clothes are most definitely on.

I was spoiled for Janna’s making out with a girl, but I still got hella excited when she and this girl were sticking out their tongues at each other.

Lmao, is Engel rambling about her car malfunctions to Noah? Maybe Imaan was right to shush her.

Also, Engel’s dad is in the picture. Or was, at a certain point.

Okay I don’t know if maybe this is fashionable for Dutch kids, but I love that Noah is wearing this baggy old man shirt.

And that his kiss with Engel is a little awkward.

Who is this kid. Why is he like this.

Lmao, Liv telling Isa to talk to Gijs about Tallinn so he’ll leave. Does not bode well for their city trip if that’s what she thinks?

WHOOPS, Isa forgot that dinner with Kes was supposed to happen.

Gijs does not know Tallinn is a city, so he’s like, “Who’s Tallinn?” lmao.

JANNA AND THAT GIRL GOING TO TOWN, YESSSSSSSS

So in terms of Skam remake wlw content, I believe we have:

Skam France: Alexia is bi. Of course I appreciate this but they haven’t really spotlighted it outside of like one or two comments, and they don’t really integrate her sexuality into the story or into the dialogue even when it would be relevant (which is a big problem with Skam France as a whole). It’s canon by the actress’ Word of God.

Druck: Mia is bi. In canon she “doesn’t like labels” and is shown to make out with Hanna, though that was for telling off Alexander. Bi by word of God.

Skam Austin: Shay takes Isak’s place in the story, having a crush on Megan which is her character’s motivation. This is the biggest wlw content, clearly, since Shay will hopefully get her own season. The character is a lesbian and her sexuality plays a role in the story, plus I’m pretty sure the actress is a lesbian herself (and is a black lesbian so we have intersectional diversity).

Skam NL: Janna makes out with a girl at a party. HOPEFULLY she isn’t straight and this isn’t just a drunken makeout because girls kissing at a party is hot. I hooooope.

Hmmm, you know what? I actually buy Imaan’s throwing water at Olivia a lot more, because Engel has at least tried to be nice to Imaan. Like I understand that Sana is fiercely loyal and once she’s on your team, she’s with you 110%, so once she’s with the girl squad, she’s ride or die. But assuming Imaan was throwing water at Olivia because Olivia called Engel a slut, I get why. Engel has been awkward and othered Imaan but she’s tried to be nice. (But for Engel, you know she’s going to be like WTF?)

I love this closing song as they run away into the night!

Is it wrong that I kind of like Noah so far? Because I get that he’s likely going to come with all of William’s bullshit, but ... he’s fucking weird, man.

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Making a family party awkward

Kes’ sister is a cutie!

Oh, I love that we got a little glimpse of his family? His mom, and his grandparents.

This really changes the tone of this scene from the original, because Eva goes over and encounters Jonas when he’s just hanging out with his friends and being passive-aggressive, and it felt like having the boys there made Jonas ramp up his attitude. Kes appears to be relaxed, he’s having a good time with his family. I wonder if these are the actor’s real relatives? The boys look like they could be his brothers.

But Kes does get in a passive-aggressive comment about her friends, and he’s been ignoring her for a few days.

Also, Lucas isn’t part of this moment where they’re ganging up on Isa, when the Isak is typically snickering at what’s happening.

We cut inside where relatives are having a pleasant time while the Youths fight. We don’t hear their argument but I mean, we know what they’re talking about.

Kes is like, “I forgot about the dinner,” as if he’s not upset, which makes Isa storm out, and his family notices that she’s upset.

Isa is out on the street and she once again puts in her earbuds and listens to music to get out her feelings. I like that as a stress release/coping tactic/whatever you want to call it for her.

This is a Sigrid song, by the way! “Strangers,” a totally appropriate song for relationship dysfunction and dismantling the perfect movie romance. Really interesting with Isa’s somewhat romanticized view of love - sometimes you just know, that’s how it’s supposed to be, etc.

Is Kes going to run out after her?

Nope, he doesn’t run after her. Not like in the movies. Isa just does a walk down the street. She’s not happy but it seems like listening to music steadies her a bit and gives her an outlet for her emotions so that she’s not a total mess.

Clip 2 - Engel does not know how the pill works, sigh

The title of this clip was Het is Zover and there was a still of Liv so I was like … are we finally headed down this f/f romcom route? Het is Over? (I know, I know, it has an actual meaning in Dutch.) But it ended up referring to something heterosexual, lmao.

I like Isa’s little toucan key chain.

Isa is not in a good mood, Liv looks fondly at her girl and asks about Kes. Liv knows what’s up with 17-year-old boys.

Engel pops up and says it’s time for her and Noah to go to the bone zone. Isa is like, that was fast. So I guess they are going down this sex storyline; the wax was a fun bonus.

Engel being like “I know It’s Time because I DMed with Noah all weekend and he’s perfect” - God help us.

Engel asks for the pill like she’s asking for ibuprofen, and when she says eh, it’ll be nothing then, Liv is like nuh uh, you’re going to the doctor. Thank you, Liv.

Engel gets them to agree to go by offering a bottle of wine each. When Isa tells Liv that she (Liv) doesn’t even drink, Liv is like, two for you, right? WHOOOOOOA. True love right there.

I had the worst thought and wondered if Engel’s failure to get her pubes waxed is going to lead to Noah making a shit comment about them later, like when Engel confronts him. Because teenage boys think girls should be completely hairless, like porn stars or babies!

Clip 3 - Isa can’t sleep

Isa is watching a video on her phone when she gets a notification about something her dad posted. It’s a little kid getting a swimming certificate, so I’m guessing that’s her dad’s new family.

Isa gets up to go sit on her mom’s bed. She asks for a foot rub, which her mom gives her, until her mom starts asking about Olivia and Tess. Then the feet come back up to Isa’s chest.

Her mom’s like, I’m just trying to show interest. Isa is probably thinking that’s more than her dad does. She extends a leg again.

Perhaps that’s why Isa opens up to her and tells her she has a boyfriend. When she tells her mom his name is Kes, her mom doesn’t comment on it being Olivia’s boyfriend’s name or anything, so maybe she didn’t know Kes and Olivia dated?

Isa asks her mom whether she thought she and her dad would be together forever, and then when she change her mind. Isa’s mom says that sometimes things go differently from how you expected. I really like this scene. It goes in with Isa “just knowing” that you’re meant to be with someone, as mentioned in episode 2, and then this reality that crashes in on you. It’s awesome that they tied in these elements of Isa’s absent father and divorced/separated parents, Isa’s relationship with her mom who’s locked out of certain elements in her life, and Isa’s relationship with Kes to the overall idea of being with someone forever. I think Isa questioning the nature and longevity of love could end up being a really satisfying part of her arc. I can’t wait to see the final clip of the season; I hope they modify her speech to Kes so that it fits with all these moments and what she’s learned.

She gets back into bed and apologizes to Kes for being a bitch sometimes, because obviously she doesn’t want their relationship to end, and then stares at the ceiling with that one damn glow in the dark shooting star.

Clip 4 - Doctor visit

The girls go to the doctor with Engel. Liv and Imaan entertain themselves by playing with a model of a torso. Kes and Isa make up via text, he says he loves her even when she’s angry.

I love that Engel looks small in that big chair against the giant window, truly mimicking how overwhelmed she must be feeling.

Where’s Janna? I have to say that I look forward to her reactions on anything vagina-related.

I guess she had to miss the fun because she had to make up for being late to German, but it’s really cool how Imaan volunteered to join them considering I think the Sanas usually sit this excursion out.

The doctor comes out and IT’S A MAN THIS TIME??? Oh fuck!

I mean I know plenty of women don’t have a problem with a male OB-GYN, but for a girl who’s perhaps afraid to get a bikini wax, I think she would be a little shy about talking about birth control with a dude.

This doc is handsome, not gonna lie. I can’t imagine if that would make it more or less awkward. I do think that it’s less awkward with your friends, so good call, Engel.

The doc is asking Engel some basic questions and Engel answers more confidently than I expected, so good for her. Imaan rats out Engel by saying she’s only known the guy for a week. Well, maybe it’s not the wisest choice, Imaan, but that means Engel should definitely be on birth control!

Liv also shares that Noah sleeps with the whole school, and the doc mentions that the pill only helps with pregnancy, not STDs. Bless him. I mean he’s just doing his job, but bless. This is a good message to include on the show.

OH MY GOD when that doc brought out the dildo for the condom demonstration. He was completely matter-of-fact and professional but geeeeez I would have found this to be the most embarrassing thing at 16.

Clip 5 - CONDOMS, ENGEL, CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS

The girls evaluate condom choices. Strawberry, banana, glow-in-the-dark. Don’t get the banana ones. I love real bananas but artificial banana flavor on anything is a gamble.

I can’t tell, who said that king-sized wasn’t for Noah? Janna? I want to give her an award.

This clip was so short but I loved it! Just sweet and funny, wonderful girl squad dynamic, adorable.

As an aside, please watch the first 30 seconds of this scene and imagine it with Engel as Rose, Janna as Blanche, and Imaan as Dorothy.

Clip 6 - Engel’s softcore fashion fantasy

Janna has the right idea by blowing up a condom into an elephant trunk.

Janna doesn’t remember anything from her first time. That bit never stops being alarming, tbh.

Janna is also adamant that Noah needs to do his best and make sure Engel has an orgasm. Good job, Janna! That’s something I’ve always wondered with the Williams of the show: do they actually try to make the experience pleasurable for the Vildes? Because Vilde is like, “It was great!” but she’s also speaking from inexperience, and she might just be overcompensating, who knows? I mean, I don’t think she would actually tell the girls if it sucked.

Engel doesn’t know what an orgasm feels like, she doesn’t know how to get wet, she doesn’t want to get horny. Look, everyone should learn at their own pace, but my professional opinion is that this poor girl should take some time on her own before sleeping with a random dude she has known for a week.

Who hasn’t even arrived on time to get laid. Oh God, please just blow her off completely? Don’t make us and Engel go through this again. Lesser of two evils.

Janna eats a banana. I just wanted to write that.

Liv is there to administer horny-making fantasies to Engel. Lmao, Isa had to get up off her chair and go sit on the bed next to Liv while Liv is talking dirty. I wonder why….

Ohhhh my God. This fantasy of Engel’s? WOW. It is really not “allowed” within the Skam format but honestly, fuck it, this is too weird not to appreciate. This is some ’90s music video realness, I expected 98 Degrees to walk out. Except it mostly focuses on Engel’s attire and makeup and hair, so maybe it’s more like a perfume ad?

Lmao, Engel getting turned on by herself more than Noah really stands out when you see the visual.

Janna tells the anecdote about getting turned on by donkeys, but it was supposedly just a whole other village that had the donkey kink rather than her. Bless her.

The girls need to get out because Kes is supposed to arrive, but of course, when Isa opens the front door, it’s Noah, come for his booty call. Isa’s mom is really cute in how she’s excited to see “Kes.”

Engel is? “Not my girlfriend.” Noah, you dumb fuck. Why do you need to clarify that shit to someone’s mom who you’re only going to know for like two seconds?

I mean, it’s foreshadowing as to Noah’s fuckboy ways, and that Engel will get her heart broken, but duuuuude quell your ass down.

Isa is like, nah mom, those girls tripping on the stairs and babbling weren’t drunk! Lol, sure.

When Isa calls Kes, it absolutely sounds like he was at a party with the level of background chatter. You hear Olivia’s voice clearly but they’re definitely surrounded by people.

Of course Kes is not coming, and Isa’s mom overhears enough on the phone conversation to realize. She tells her that they can eat, just the two of them. I really like Isa’s mom, she’s cute.

Great sad closing song.

General Comments/Social Media

Engel stuck Liv’s own song on their Tallinn playlist and Liv’s like, time to delete that!

I love Janna naming the group chat weird stuff, and everyone acknowledging that group chat names are never normal.

This remake makes my heart so warm! The girl squad is so lovely and fun. I adored the pubic hair side plot, lmao, and the twists on the doctor visit and the condom retrieval. Little moments like that with the girls have made the dynamic so entertaining.

As for the boys, I think Lucas is a fantastic Isak. Kes has his typical Jonas S1 dickhead moments, but he’s also got charm, and God help me but I am enjoying Noah’s whatever-the-fuck-ness. Like I’m aware he’s going to be a creep, but currently I like taking the piss out of him and his wardrobe and attitude.

As I mentioned previously, I think they’re doing some great moments with Isa’s character arc and tying in her family issues to her relationship issues, and having her talk about love or question love in the abstract.

I am not Dutch, so feel free to correct me if I missed anything.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamnl reactions #skam nl reactions

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beccadanae · 6 years ago

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ok so the first time i tried to write Wells’ birth story it all got deleted soooo here’s take two (as if i just have time for this???) (whatever, this is important to me):

Thursday October 25th at 630pm I started feeling contractions. They were about 8 minutes apart and were pretty manageable. As manageable as they were I handled them better when I was in the tub. I tried to go to sleep but the pain of the contractions kept me from sleeping... like I was laying there just waiting for the next one to hit rather than sleeping until it happened, in addition to trying not to wake Evan. I wanted to do most of the laboring at home so I endured through the night because I had an appointment Friday at 930. When we got there my doctor checked my cervix and told me I was 4-5cm, which meant I could go to the hospital to be admitted at anytime. The contractions were still bearable so Evan and I decided to go home for a little longer. We were at home doing business as usual (I watched Mulan) until I couldn’t take it anymore and I called our doula, Lori. It took me a lot to call her because when you experience a contraction, the pain is HORRIBLE but only lasts about 30 seconds, then it goes away and you have a clear head again. When I had a clear head I would forget how bad the pain was and be like, “nahh I don’t need help”... anyways, Lori came over and I knew that was beneficial because I never know when is the best time to go to the hospital and I knew she had enough experience to tell me when. She came over and we hung out until I started getting shaky. Apparently shaking is a hormonal thing and she knew it was about time to have the baby.

We went to the hospital and when we got there they told me I was 8cm. Doctors and nurses were flooding my room, overwhelming me with questions about my past health, birth plan, if I wanted an epidural or not, etc. With so many people in the room I just assumed that meant I was going to start having to push within the hour or a little more, so I chose not to get an epidural, thinking that the pain I was experiencing was the worst of it. Jenna, Evan, and Lori were in the room with me just hanging out and I was doing great with every contraction. I was feeling confident and ready (looking back on that time I was a little cocky, I had no idea how long transition would last and how BAD it would be).

Eventually the pain hit a level I was not expecting. I don’t remember how the situation played out but I know that I randomly yelled, “Ok jenna it was all fun and games until it wasn’t fun anymore. I need you to leave, I love you” so she left and it was just me, Evan and Lori. We got out the speaker, started playing the “o baby” playlist I made a couple weeks ago and sang through each contraction. I also did it all with my eyes clothes. that was my best pain management at the time. Then it got bad, like real bad. Like writhing around on the bed yelling (then eventually screaming) bad. I started begging for an epidural. It wasn’t uterine contractions that hurt anymore, it was my back. I kept yelling about how bad my back hurt. It was Wells coming down. They even got the anesthesiologist in there with the epidural but then she was like “if I could be frank, you gotta get your shit together if you’re going to start pushing soon,” and then idk somehow I was convinced that pushing would happen soon so I chose to turn away the epidural. Little did I know that pushing would be the hardest fucking part of the whole thing. I had been doing a good job controlling my breathing through all contractions until pushing. Once I had to push it was like I had to focus all my strength (mental and physical) on the push while holding my breath. Yeah... I had to hold my breath. Huge inhale, hold to push, and then relax. The nurse that was assigned to me was a tough cookie, real sarcastic and aggressive with me. I hated it. I wouldn’t have gotten through the pushing if it wasn’t for Lori. While Mary would tell me “Push harder, again, give it a bigger push, come on” (that kind of shit), Lori would tell me “you’re doing great, that was so good Becca, I’m so proud of you” etc. Mary was getting on my nerves so much I told her things like, “You are mean!” and Evan remembers me telling her, “Don’t fuck with me”... although I don’t remember that. I do remember cussing a lot through the pushing. It literally felt impossible. While I looked like I was dying, some people ask me if I felt like I was dying. Looking back on it now, I have no idea how I didn’t feel like I was dying. I knew I would make it through, I had thoughts that were positive like “I can’t wait until this is over, I can’t wait until they tell me this is my last push, I can’t wait until I have him on my chest.” Those aren’t negative-i’m-going-to-die thoughts. So yeah, breathing was so fucking hard.

While I was struggling to breathe and push (the literal only way to push is to use all your muscles down there and pray you’re using the right ones, knowing full well you’ve pooped multiple times.) The doctor (oh i forgot to mention my doctor wasn’t there. it was an on call doctor. I had even the day before wrote a thank you note for her because I loved her so much and i thought she would be there for me on this day...ugh) anyyyyyways the doctor was super great and did an amazing job, but she told me that she was going to have to do an episiotomy which didn’t end up hurting then she told me his heart rate wasn’t where they wanted (basically telling me they were getting worried but in such a chill way to keep me calm) and then they got out the vacuum, which was something I thought they would have asked me about, I didn’t realize they would just decide that. But that’s ok because it was necessary because of the way Wells was situated behind my pelvis. After his head got out from the weird spot I was able to push him out on my own without the vacuum.

Then they took him out, cleaned him up, put him on me, birthed the placenta (i have no memory of that), pushed out some extra inside stuff, stitched me up aaaaand yeah it was all so fast and crazy. I was shaking the whole time (hormones) also I was just very overwhelmed by everything. I remember everyone telling me what a good job I did, however I didn’t feel like it because of how aggressive Mary had been with me. I remember telling her something along the lines of “I felt like I let you down”. Thank god I didn’t have to see her again after she cleaned me up. My family came, Evan’s family came, Wells breast fed on both sides, and then when everyone left I got cleaned up while Wells was taken to the nursery for some tests.

Evan and I had a rough night. I didn’t realize that I could take advantage of nursery until very late which meant that Evan and I did a lot of trial and error soothing to our baby while running on little sleep. I didn’t know until the next afternoon how traumatic the entire event was for Evan. He brought up the idea of not staying in the hospital overnight again (I was told I needed to) and I was very against staying alone. Through some conversation and... just seeing Evan... he was about to have a panic attack... he was sobbing. The dude had basically just watched the love of his life practically survive dying and was being asked to stay in the same hospital where it all went down. I understood. So he went home around 830pm and Kristian came to relieve him. While it was nice having a friend in the room during the night, it was hard to do some things (like feed and sooth my baby) knowing she had to get up for work the next morning. i didn’t turn on the lights when I wanted to, didn’t recline the bed in the position I needed to get comfortable to feed, and didn’t ask her to take over to soothe like I would have if it was Evan. I did eventually ask for the nurses to come take him away so I could get some sleep... but overall it was an exhausting night.

#personal #wells #evank #birthstory

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donnerpartyofone · 6 years ago

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So, here is my deal. I have been single for a year now, after being in a long term relationship and I am really struggling to impress women. I’ve tried all the classic dating apps, starting casual conversations, and nothing seems to do the trick. I wouldn’t call myself handsome, but not an eyesore either. I am exercising, but still have a few extra pounds. Any tip for how to land something long term? That I should try?

EDIT: Hopefully you haven’t read this yet--I just reread your question, and realized you’ve only been out of your last LTR for a year. Certainly you know you better than I do, but I would strongly recommend being single for a little longer than that, to really clear your system of whatever is still rattling around in there. It’ll be better for you in the long run, and probably better for whoever you date next too. At the risk of being too accusative with a total stranger, you might wanna read a couple of articles on serial monogamy, and decide if any of it rings true with you, before proceeding.

Well, that’s a pretty complex question! Obviously I don’t know you, so I have to generalize a lot. I guess I have a few bullet points that may or may not be useful. It’s worth saying that even though I’m a lady and that means we face these challenges in different ways, I do know where you’re coming from. I’ve been with very few people in my life, was rejected or ignored by a lot more, and I had to go through a long stretch of facing the idea that I might truly die alone–which included realizing that that should not be the worst case scenario that everybody neurotically makes it out to be. So, here are the things I think:

- I wonder where you live, what kind of scene there is around you. Sometimes it might not be the worst idea to entertain a pen pal-type beginning, from the internet, or whatever you can dig up for a resource. Especially if your main goal is making a lasting connection with somebody (which would be something that many people would consider moving out of state for), it’s really worth considering that that person might live literally anywhere. It’s also worth acknowledging whether your immediate environment is just not conducive to healthy dating, for whatever reason. Even in a huge bustling city like NYC, where I live, statistical realities may affect your ability to find what you are looking for. Here, women outnumber men so radically that if you’re female and you’re looking for dudely companionship, you may have to put up with all sorts of bullshit, because men have an embarrassment of choice. A lot of them feel no obligation whatsoever to get tied down, even if they think they’re “nice guys” and they’re not really consciously aware of this, even if they have a really attractive woman on the hook. My gay male friends make pretty much the exact same complaint to me: That New York has this reputation of having a huge supportive gay community, but the reality is that men who are willing to settle down are really hard to find, because they just have so many options, and even a lot of the guys who think they want a relationship are just all fighting over the same handful of top 10 status-symbol twinks all the time anyway. Soooo that’s all about how hard it is to find a standard boyfriend where *I* live, but like, there could be something legitimately similar going on with finding a girlfriend near you. It’s not ALWAYS your own fault if you can’t get what you want.

- A lot of people who say that they just wanna be with “someone nice”, or who make generalizations like “NOBODY likes them,” are hiding or ignoring the fact that they actually want something pretty specific. That’s not a crime, it’s just something that would be better to be honest about with yourself. The little you’ve said here makes it sound like goal for you is just, being in a long term relationship. Obviously you have a right to that, but even if you’re NOT unconsciously rejecting people who don’t fit your secret standards, you still may face the problem that your candidates could find your open-mindedness a little impersonal. Obviously you’re not telling people you “just wanna be in a relationship” out loud, but intuition is a powerful thing, especially when it’s fed by body language or subtle behavioral cues. People can become supernaturally perceptive when questions of sex or dating are on the table. So, this might be a good time to interrogate what your goal means to you. When you try to imagine what you’re looking for in really specific terms, what does it look like? What comes out of a long term relationship, that you absolutely can’t get out of any other part of your life? Are those things that you can live without? Also, what kind of person do you imagine being with? If your answer is really vague, or kind of amounts to something like “just someone who treats me well”, try to refine that. If people sense that your standards are totally amorphous because your only goal is having someone to warm your bed, then they’re not going to be really flattered by your attention. I mean you can find people out there who want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship, but they usually also want babies and all the social, marital trappings above all else. There are apps for that.

- You’ve probably heard this before, and you’re going to roll your eyes when you hear it again, but “looks” aren’t THAT important. At least for straight dudes, mostly. I’m definitely not going to tell you that looks don’t matter at all, at which point you would know not to believe anything I say, but there’s more going on here. I’ve known plenty of men in the plain-to-ugly range, as traditional standards go, who have dated beautiful women, and/or just lots and lots of women, because they have really inviting personalities: Some combination of, they’re really funny, they have a lot of confidence, they’re super bright, they communicate well about their passions in life, they’re really nice (not “I held the door for you so now you have to fuck me” nice–which is called “being fake” actually–but compassionate/considerate/humble/genuinely interested nice), etc. I also have known plenty of guys in the upper register of physical attractiveness who don’t perform the way you might expect them to because they act fucking weird: any combo of pushy, argumentative, withholding, insecure, superior, combative if you try to be kind to them, or sometimes they just haven’t trained themselves to engage–like, they act like OTHER PEOPLE should compensate for their shyness, and they become resentful if they believe YOU didn’t work hard enough to pry them out of THEIR shell. So like it’s a good thing to care about your appearance and your hygiene and everything, but a big part of the reason that stuff matters is that it shows you care about yourself. No matter what you look like, if you carry around this vibe that it’s somebody else’s job to make you feel good about yourself or your life, then all you’re going to attract is nobody–or people who are seriously damaged, which you probably don’t want either. Depression and insecurity are as normal as they are difficult, but it’s important to try to show that you’re not gonna be somebody’s full time job, with a combination of personal presentation AND personality. The latter is more important.

- At this point you’re probably thinking, “This is like that thing where you need experience to get a job, but you can only get experience FROM getting a job, so where am I supposed to get all this confidence from if my confidence is constantly eroded by rejection?” Well, that’s a good question! This stuff can take like a superhuman amount of effort. Unfortunately there’s no just and reliable way to simply fix this conundrum. I will say this, though: One thing you can do is just try to stop being so focused on it. Yes, I know, THAT SOUNDS REALLY HARD ALSO. But if you can achieve it, to some degree, then it takes a lot of pressure off both yourself and other people, leading to interactions that are easier and more fun, which takes you a big step in the right direction. I’m more or less speaking from experience. I had been painfully oriented toward being in a relationship for most of my life. Men have almost never wanted anything to do with me, for any number of reasons: I’ve never been what you’d call hot, I act like a fucking weirdo, I get along so well with guys that they tend to just think of me as another guy (I’d called this being “friendzoned” if I were a WAY BIGGER ASSHOLE), and surely the few people I was close enough to to try to start something could tell that I was pretty desperate about it. Because I was so…yeah, desperate, about being in a relationship, I took what I could get, and on all but one of the very few past occasions where I “got” something, it turned into a gnarly abusive nightmare, some of which I’m still processing. So, there came a point in time when I really had to review what I’d been doing. I started to ask myself really hard questions like, why DO I need to be in a relationship? Isn’t it true that I would still have to have other things to live for, even if I DID get into a decent relationship? What are those things? Can’t I just start focusing more on those things NOW? Basically I started to experiment with going about my days as if I knew for a fact that I would never get into a relationship, ever. It wasn’t exactly a party, at first, but I knew I was doing a good thing for myself. Actually, it was the only rational thing I could think to do. Then, a month or two later, I met the man I’m going to marry in December. I was sort of confounded by it, like I had finally made this big achievement in being more zen about everything, when I suddenly found myself in a serious, healthy relationship. I almost felt like some kind of hypocrite. But anyway, my explanation was that I was finally in a mental state where I was genuinely ready to be in that kind of relationship, I was prepared to enter it as my own person, without all kinds of baggage about what I “needed” to get out of it. I must have been putting out that vibe, finally.

So these are just some ideas, if there were a surefire fix for your situation, then everybody in the world would know about it already. I guess I’d just conclude by saying that if you can remember that “life isn’t fair” AND you can prevent yourself from blaming others for that, then you’re already a lot closer to getting what you want, than people who think they’re owed satisfaction. Which is a LOT of people.

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graunenskaix · 6 years ago

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The Ring || Murphy Heacanon

For Verse 5

Okay soooo this is going to be a long one. I want to write a self para of what I -NOTE ME SPECIFICALLY- imagine Murphy went through up on The Ring. We know he went into a coma, that he broke Emori’s heart, and kept to himself away from the gang. So I’m just trying to piece together things for myself and my partners. I have tried to touch on his relationship with each of the characters up there for plotting purposes. Hense the length, but I threw a read more in there for yall.

- 3 weeks in -

Starving. It was the only word that Murphy could think of to describe how they were all feeling right about now. Monty, Harper and Raven had taken to trying to solve the algae culture issue. And Echo had been teaching the rest of them some Grounder meditation techniques that her people had used in the mountains to sustain themselves... or something like that, he wasn’t really listening on the first class. Instead his mind was roaming the Ark in a light he had not seen it in. He used to hate this place, he still did. His rumbling stomached echoed that notion.

He’d begun exploring in the few hours he could muster the energy each day. Emori has often helping Raven or learning from her, and he found their friendship kind of heartwarming. Like maybe his introducing them might help soothe the hurt he’d caused Raven. One day he came into the common room and everyone was already seated. “Well this looks ... ominous.” He says half joking, though anxiety begun to spread through him like a wild fire. Why did he feel his fight of flight instincts kicking in. “No luck on the Farm?” He asks Monty with none of his usual snark, he was trying to be genuine in case something really was brewing. “Actually, it’s going really well.” Raven said with a nod for him to come and sit with them. “Okay, so why is everyone looking like someone died?” He asks feeling the flames of anxiety rage “Because they might.” Emori says, almost snapping. “They want you to try the newest culture John.” Her tone told him she wasn’t fully on board, but there wasn’t exactly the same level of protest he’d put up in Becca’s Lab for her.

John didn’t really need to hear anything else that was going to be said. They’d all talked about it without him. Made up their minds that he would be the best fit for a lab rat. “I mean I know we joke about how hard I am to kill, but this is low.” He says to the group he had lived up here once with. Not as their friend, but he’d thought that maybe now... “Everyone around here has been doing things to help get us set up for the next five years.” Bellamy decided to chime in now. “You disappear for the whole day and we have no clue what you’re doing. Is it helpful?” “Hey I come to the group meetings, I help when I’m asked. I’m exploring the ship. Seeing if I can find any food.” They all looked at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He could never do something nice for the sake of it right? “Regardless, everyone here has jobs they’ve taken on and we can’t risk them getting... Sick” The King had spoken. That was his story and they would all stick to it. He knew there was no point in arguing. He took the bowl of Algae in the middle of the table and looked around at everyone. “And you all wonder why I want to be alone.” He says, not physically able to bring himself to look at Emori. How could she let this happen? She placed her hand on his shoulder, as he begun to eat the rancid green soup.

“It tastes like shit.” He says bluntly, and Emori’s hand dropped. Well... so much for unconditional support. “But it’s edible so thats-” He trailed off as he felt what he’d thought was his fear at first, but his throat was literally closing. He looked at Monty first and shook his head, but he knew this was probably going to be the end of him. His gripped his throat, and stood up, hoping it might allow more air to his lungs. The others moved around him and tried to tell him it was going to be okay, in amongst medical jargon he couldn’t hear over the thumping of his ears. And then everything went dark, the last thing he heard was the thud of his skull on the floor.

- 4 weeks in - He had been living through replayed, miserable, memories for the past few days. But before he could move he could hear. They were worried about him, but every now and then he heard glimpses of what he took to be the truth. ‘if he doesn’t make it what do we do?’ ‘float the body, start over on the crops.’ ‘we can’t float him.’ ‘We should bury him when we get back down to the ground.’ ‘Do I need to explain how hard it would be to preserve a corpse for that long up here? The power it would take isn’t worth it.’ ‘but then what will we eat?’ And conversation would go back to the nonsensical jargon he couldn’t understand. But those moments that he could... they stuck with him. He didn’t know who was speaking, but his mind would replay the conversations testing different people with different speaking roles. Either way it was a miserable show to play out in his head on repeat. When he started coming to, Emori rushed to find Raven and Monty. Everyone fussed over him and checked his vitals, but physically they wouldn’t find any damage. It was mentally that he had been seriously wounded.

- 8 months in -

His socializing became less and less, and Emori grew tired of waiting for him to feel like doing anything fun... or anything at all for that matter. She left him and this only fueled his downward spiral. Bellamy started bringing food to Murphy once the farms were sewn, and Murphy eventually told Bellamy about the reason he decided living away from the rest of them was for the best. “I know you feel phased out, or like you’re not one of us but you are” Bellamy protested. “Yeah until there’s another recipe for disaster, that you all need a test subject for. No thanks.” He had been trying and failing to push past the paranoia he’d been feeling. His lone wandering of the halls wasn’t helping his mind either. Memories were scattered in various rooms and views, Even with his supposed friends up here, Murphy felt more alone than ever, which was saying something after his stint in the bunker.

- 1 year in -

He still has made no effort to contact the other’s, though he does sometimes venture into the common area, to return his food trays. He would occasionally bump into the other’s there, but his life was devoted solely to going through every single room that he could find his way into. When returning his tray one day Echo approached him. ‘Hey John, can we talk a moment?’ “Do we have to?” He replies sarcastically, to which she laughed. This caused a small smile of his own, but he swallowed it down pretty fast. ‘Bellamy is really worried about you. So am I... I just want you to know, I didn’t like that they chose you. I Volunteered in your place but -” “But your Bellamy’s girlfriend so that wasn’t an option.” He interjected. But from the look on her face he felt a pang of guilt, he’d wounded her. Echo had always been nice enough to him. “I’m sorry.” He says genuinely, to which she nods in thanks. ‘Just promise me you’re keeping your meditation up.’ “Sure thing.” He says, not confirming that he had, nor promising he would, but he had been is he was honest. She smiled and gave him another nod, waving as she backed away and headed off. He turned with a slight smile, a slight glimmer of hope that this wouldn’t be the worst four years of his life if he could speckle it with positive interactions like that.

- 2 years in -

Monty begun delivering food for a while, he promised there were no new recipes. “So how’s Harper?” Murphy asked in one of the rare occasions that they bumped into one another. ‘Are you asking because you care or because you want to try hitting on her again?’ “I was delirious are you really going to hold that against me?” He asks with a chuckle, Monty wasn’t laughing however, so he stopped. “Okay look I’m sorry for what I said, I don’t exactly remember it so I can’t be more specific than that.” He adds trying to be nice about it. ‘Yeah well do us a favour and stay out here so we all know where to avoid.’ Monty says bitterly, but Murphy can tell he’s just trying to be assertive. “Message received... though you’ve been bringing me food for a while now so you can’t hate me that much.” Murphy points out as he swallowed a large chunk of .. something that Monty had brought. ‘Bellamy needed a rest from your attitude. He’s exhausted, but he doesn’t want to give up on you. This was purely so he would take a break.’ “Then why hasn’t anyone different been doing it? Surely if you hated me as much as you’re saying, right now? You wouldn’t be the only one doing it.” Monty tried to remain cold, but Murphy could see he was at that point of giving up the ghost. ‘Okay fine. I came to ask if you would come back. You aren’t the worst all the time. I lost Jasper to his own mind. I don’t want to loose you to yours.’ Okay that got to him. His throat flexed closed for a moment, making him gag on his latest mouthful. “Uh... Thanks.. Monty.” He says slowly trying to comprehend what the other was saying. “But I ... “ He didn’t know what to say. “I’m really sorry. About trying to kill him that time. He was a good dude in the end, and so are you. I’m not quite at the point where I wanna blow my brains out. But don’t be a stranger okay?” He finishes the sentence with a sincere smile. Monty didn’t smile however. ‘Okay. Well that’s all I came to check on. See ya round.’ Maybe he didn’t know what to say either, but whatever it was Monty hurried off with a wave behind him.

- 3 years and 193 days in -

John hadn’t heard from Emori in a year, at least. Yet here she was, standing in the middle of his doorway with a look that told him he was in trouble. “Well hi.” He says casually, though he rushed his brain to be sure he hadn’t upset her when they last parted. ‘John we need to talk.’ “We’ve already had this talk what else do you have to say? You just wanna rip my heart out a little more?” He went from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. It was like he was his old self again. Bitter to everyone and easy to set off. ‘John I think I might have been pregnant. but I mean... space, so you know, it didn’t take. But I just thought I should tell you.’ She says it so casually but he hears nothing past ‘i was pregnant’. “And what you’re just telling me this now? That would have to have been a year ago, unless -” His eyes and nostrils flare in anger as the concept forms in his head, but she interjects - ‘No I haven’t slept with anyone else don’t be ridiculous.’ The anger subsides but he is most definitely hurt. They all knew they couldn’t have children while they were up here. But he hadn’t realized pregnancy could even happen. “I...don’t really know what I’m supposed to say. Why are you telling me this now?” He asks, not sure he wants to know the answer. ‘Because I’m sad John. And I miss having you here to talk about things with. Why don’t you just come back already?’ She sounded pained saying it. He wanted more than anything than to bridge the gap between them right now. But he couldn’t feel his legs. “I’m sorry.... I’ll come for dinners once a week or something. But I’m getting on fine out here on my own. I can think here... It was too crowded over there. Why don’t you just move closer to me if you miss me so much?” He was still bitter about the amount of times she had blown him off for something that came up with Raven or Monty. ‘I think it’s best if you don’t, if I’m being honest.’ Her tone was so detached that it was like John’s heart was being torn in two all over again. “Right... okay. Well thanks for coming to tell me the worst things I’ve heard in a few years. Here I was thinking this year couldn’t get any worse. Goes to show what I know I guess.” His tone matched her’s in coldness. He wasn’t going to let her in again any time soon. “If that’s all, you can go.” He turns away from her so he doesn’t have to watch her leave like last time. ‘I’m sorry John, really. I wish things could have been different... but you can’t or won’t change, and I can’t handle waiting for it any more.’ The entire sentence was painful and redundant at this point. He wanted her gone. He needed to be alone. “So leave then.” He says growing irritated. Once she’d left he threw the cup he’d been focusing on, against the wall. He kicked his table over before falling down onto his bed. He gripped his hair and tugged some of it out as he muffled a scream. The darkness took over him for a year or so. He moved further out on the ring from everyone, only going in for food which he would take in bulk against Monty’s protests. Never more than he was supposed to have, but enough for a few weeks at a time. No one bothered him, no one tried bringing him back in. As far as he knew they were moving on without him. He would see them in another year or so when Raven had them ready to go home. And then he’d find somewhere in the valley to hold up on his own until something better came along.

- 5 years and 42 days in -

Murphy was living back in his original room, waiting for the message that they were ready to go. He could hear the banging of metal and Ravens yells of frustration as she tried and tried again to get things set for their return trip. Bellamy had told him that she was facing problems, and there was going to be a bit of a delay. Murphy had requested that Bellamy send her to him that day, against Bellamy’s warnings that she wouldn’t like leaving her work, Murphy assured him she wouldn’t be long. ‘I’m really not in the mood for your bullshit Murphy, what the hell do you want?’ He heard Raven before she’d even finished opening his door. “Hey, calm down. Like I told Bellamy, I won’t take up too much of your precious time. I just wanted to know how you are, make sure you’re not gonna fry your brain trying to get us home because you feel you owe it to us.” ‘I do. I said I could get us back down to the ground. And you’re taking up time I could be spending figuring this out, so get to the real point. Fast.’ she interrupted him folding her arms and looking at him with her trademark glare. He stood there for a moment as if those words were sinking in, then her pursed his lips and swallowed. “Right so I can’t care about anyone right?” He asks genuinely looking a little wounded. She just continued to glare before spitting ‘no you definitely care about yourself... but that’s about it.’ “Fine.” He says feeling wounded, “I found a bunch of things around the ring, they’re in the box, maybe something might be useful. Help yourself.” He adds, that wounded feeling turning into anger. Why did no one think he could do anything or care about anyone but himself. He’d cared about Raven, Emori, Bellamy... he’d felt like he and Monty had bonded when they were getting the rocket fuel. But anytime he felt he’d made progress, one of them would snatch that progress away from him and then wonder why he wasn’t “making and effort”. Raven stood and looked through the box, she took a few things and examined them. ‘Well at least this visit wasn’t entirely pointless.’ She says taking the things she’d picked up and heading for the door. She paused and looked back at him, maybe sensing she’d been hard on him. ‘Thanks, Murphy.’ she says giving him a nod before leaving. It’s not as though he’d expected her to welcome his visit with open arms, he knew how she preferred to deal with him. But still, they hadn’t seen each other in years, he thought maybe her aversion to him might have eased. Apparently not. He gave her a nod and went back to reading and waiting. She would get him when they were ready. He was in no rush to be crammed into the rocket with everyone, so the longer it took her the better in his opinion. But that mood wouldn’t last long either.

- 6 years in -

Things had fallen back into the same routine that the group had started with up here. Murphy kept to himself, occasionally Echo would come an train with him for a little while. Bellamy tried to encourage his learning the moves whenever he visited, and every now and then Murphy would try to catch him off guard. This was one of those days. He managed to get one up on Bellamy, sneaking behind him before charging him, jumping on his back. The other grunted and Murphy grinned, “What’s wrong Bellamy? You wanted me to train right? It’s what I’m doing.” He teased in the other’s ear before being slammed against a steel door. He fell to the floor winded ‘alright, but if I win, you come back to the crew.’ Bellamy offered, as per usual. John rolls his eyes and his head shakes itself, “No deal.” Murphy says pushing himself back to his feet. “Too many rules... and besides, there’s no one to disappoint around here.” He points out, looking at Bellamy incredulously, as if this should have been obvious. Bellamy took a deep breath and was about to start in on a lecture, but he only got Murphy’s name out before a fist connected with his jaw. Murphy bounced on his heels a little and smirks to himself. ‘Good punch.’ The other says to which Murphy nods and confirms, “Oh yeah?” he continued to bounce on his feet while Bellamy rubbed his jaw. ‘yeah, if you shifted your weight when you punch it might actually hurt... do you know what I think your problem is?’ It was a question Murphy had heard many times in his life, but not for a few years now, though that was for other reasons of course. “Oh this should be good.” He says rolling his eyes. ‘You like to be the hero, accept up here there are no heroes.’ He was circling Murphy now, and the younger male was trying to hear him out, but the next sentence had him loosing his temper: ‘You’re afraid to become worthless again’ He hadn’t chosen to let that get under his skin, the punch Murphy threw was entirely involuntary but swift, it connected with a thud, but Bellamy blocked his next punch and shoved him against the glass, overlooking their Barron planet. While Bellamy continued on about how he didn’t think Murphy was worthless, John saw something approaching the ground. A ship, a ship that wasn’t theirs and wasn’t a part of the old Ark. “Bellamy look.” He says, but his arm is twisted and Bellamy demands Murphy says he isn’t worthless. “I’m not kidding you look!” He reiterated, and this time the other clearly saw the ship, because his grip immediately loosened. The older straightened him up and looked him in the eye, ‘let’s go.’ He insisted, gripping Murphy’s shoulder to look him in the eye and communicate silently that there was no arguing this time, Murphy was going to have to rejoin the crew.

#sorry its so long yall #wanted to fit in the interactions i needed to #john murphy rp #indie the 100 rp #the 100 rp #indie murphy rp #bellamy blake rp #raven reyes rp #monty green rp #self para #murphy;timejumppara

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