#it was bc the mens bathroom looked p normal????

[caramelmochacrow]

Oh funny thing that happened yesterday. I used the mens bathroom WITHOUT KNOWING twice. Lmao.

[blue-jisungs]

skz taking off their jacket to put on ur lap bc u look uncomfortable headcannon pls

them taking off their jacket because you’re uncomfortable ♡

a/n. i hope you enjoy it and sorry you had to wait for so long. however, don’t send multiple people the same request. it’s rude;; writers are not vending machines ;p

also while you’re here please take a look at this and vote, i’d truly appreciate if you did <3

warnings. people (mostly men) being weird :(

┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]

this man has spidey senses, i don’t know how to explain it any other way

you were accompanying him to one of the events and your stylist decided it’s a great idea to give you a short skirt

i mean, you looked good in it so you didn’t complain

but once the photos were over and as soon as you sat down, you felt something warm on your lap

chan took off his blazer and sent you a warm smile

“your skirt would definitely roll up, so here you go” he hummed and you just couldn’t help but grin how thoughtful he is <3

because of that you were also a bit warmer

and!! and!! this is a perfect opportunity to hold hands under his blazer because no one will see it :D

┆彡 MINHO [ 민호 ]

you had the cutest outfit for your date with minho since the weather was warm and sunny :D

cute top, little purse, mini skirt, mary janes in matching colors ofc <3

you could see there was something on lino’s mind once he saw you but he said you look very pretty and you headed off to the café

well, unfortunately it was filled with teenage boys because it was saturday.

while minho went to the bathroom you stood in the line wondering what to order, you heard some mean comments coming from the boys :(

you ordered something for you and your boyfriend, your mood a bit down

and let me tell you minho sensed that the moment he stepped into the room

before he sat down next to you, he took off his jacket and put it on your lap whilst glaring at the young boys

they actually looked frightened tbh and i’m not even surprised

you forgot about the situation because of lino, he kept cheering you up and genuinely you just had fun

and got a bit flustered because of his gesture

but when you were about to leave, minho excused you and walked to the boys saying a word or two

you’ll never know what that was because your boyfriend said - and i quote - “it was just a free lesson for them that might be helpful in the future”

whatever that was…

you kept his jacket wrapped around your waist (and his hand on it too)

┆彡 CHANGBIN [ 창빈 ]

going with bin to the gym became a normal thing in your relationship (because let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to go with him)

so everyone knew that they shouldn’t act inappropriate because 1) you’re dating 2) changbin is pretty terrifying 3) he’s their gym bro how could they act like that??

but one day there was a newbie

and you were casually looking cute with your ponytail and gym shorts

you kept glancing at binnie through the mirror when you noticed the guy was staring at you and once your bf saw him…

you could swear the whole gym went quiet

changbin walked up to you, handing you his hoodie and putting it on you

it smelled like him so you didn’t mind teehee

you continued your workout whilst looking in the mirror… changbin had a talk with the guy, his hand squeezing the man’s shoulder a little too tightly

┆彡 HYUNJIN [ 현진 ]

date in a park with hyunjin = perfection

the weather was perfect so you decided to wear shorts

and you were just sitting on a bench, head resting on your boyfriend’s shoulder and watching the dogs play in a distance when an older lady passed you by

she made some mean comments about your outfit >:(

you pretended to ignore her, however your hands instantly covered your knees

hyunjin sighed, taking off his jacket

“i will never understand those old ladies. she’s just jealous, don’t listen to her” he scoffed and you grinned upon seeing her turning around

“she heard that, hyunnie” you whined and playfully punched his shoulder

he just let out a giggle and put his jacket on your lap, wrapping his arm around you

“so what? no one is allowed to talk bad about my beautiful girlfriend” he hummed and placed a soft kiss on your forehead :(

┆彡 JISUNG [ 지성 ]

honestly he doesn’t really know what to do at first

because there’s you looking smoking’ hot in this cute skirt and he knows you felt confident at home, loving your outfit

but also there’s strong wind and even though you’re sitting down, you’re nervously holding your skirt unable to enjoy the dinner :(

“y/n, do you want my jacket? i don’t want to ruin your outfit but…” jisung stops in his track when you nod softly, warm smile on your lips

even if his jacket didn’t match the aesthetic of your clothes, at least you could hold his hand right now <3

┆彡 YONGBOK [ 용복 ]

it was supposed to be a careless day on a beach with lixie

so after having your fun in the sea you went to dry off

you laid on your back, next to felix and we’re about to doze off when you heard some girls gossiping about you

“…look at her boyfriend though! ah, i wouldn’t even think about wearing a bathing suit if i had…”

you pouted, trying your best not to burst out crying when felix suddenly leaned on his elbow reaching for something

“you’ll dry faster that way” he whispered and put his hoodie over your body, then pulled you closer into a hug

“thank you” you mumbled into his chest as he drew comforting shapes on your skin

after you two got home, felix gave you a whole ass lecture about how beautiful you are <3

(not to mention that he said a word or two to the girls when you took a nap on the beach)

┆彡 SEUNGMIN [ 승민 ]

“it’s not that warm y/n, take a jacket” was what came out of his mouth the second he saw you in shorts

well uh you didn’t take one

so minnie wanted to tease you (“i told you so🙄🙄” “now you’ll suffer i’m not giving you mine” etc etc)

he’s such a gentleman

but when you started shivering a bit, pulling your shorts down because people were staring

someone even murmured something about being an attention seeker to go out in shorts in such weather >:(

seungmin is mean but not THAT mean

he tsked and put his jacket over your lap, tucking a loose strand behind your ear

“aren’t you a little cold?” he asked, teasing smile on his lips

he placed a quick peck on your nose before pulling away

and you felt warmer (totally not due to the fact that you cheeks turned warmer after his gesture teehee) instantly

and after going on another dates where you accidentally forgot to take your jacket, seungmin started having his suspicions

but he will stay quiet just to continue flustering you <3

┆彡 JEONGIN [ 정인 ]

oh he’s pissed

not only your group had audio problems during your performance

but there was not enough blankets for everyone??

and so it happened you didn’t have one and it was freezing cold in your mini skirt :(

and whilst your leader offered you theirs, you shook your head as a no

suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder and before you could turn around, jeongin leaned down and placed his jacket on your lap

“you did amazing, angel. don’t worry about the difficulties, i’ll talk to them with our manager” i.n whispered and gave you a quick squeeze on the shoulder before leaving

he did in fact had a friendly chat with the venue manager but also complained abt on bubble

and he didn’t ask you to return his jacket, so some of your fans started getting suspicious after seeing you in it one day 🤭

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinhobi ,, @jung0ne ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @moonacholy ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddenoudepression ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan

[orcelito]

Ok it is officially a Bad Night haha

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

[dukeofriven]

‘The AfD declares autistic climate activist to be “mentally challenged” and firms-up its campaign platform around the idea of publicly ridiculing a teenager.’ Throw their pathetic fear of a teen back in their faces. Mock them at every opportunity. Smear their faces in their own shit until they can’t breathe without opening their mouths to swallow it. Remind them always that they are small and weak and frightened by a 15 year old - jeer them, giggle in their presence them, howl with laughter every time they try and pass their crayon scrawl as policy.  Make their every waking second a taunting Mean Girls hell in which they can never be free of the knowledge that everyone knows they’re nothing but a pathetic joke. And every time they try and draw strength from that, to try and don the mantle of the oppressed underdog, punch them in the nose and remind them that their bodies are as fragile as their egos and their ideas. Push them down again and again and again. Whisper in their ear that their Nazis forebears used to get treated like this - until one day they found the courage to stand up for themselves and their beliefs and fight. And then they lost. And then we killed them. And then we displayed their bloated corpses for all the world to jeer. And then we destroyed everything they had built and they were powerless to stop us because these failed, pathetic losers put their faith in beliefs that were wrong. Demonstrably false. Literally untrue. The Reich to last a thousand years never grew old enough to get a driver’s license. The Nazis who were humiliated in the Beer Hall Putsch vowed that from that day forward no one would ever treat them like that again. But we did. Because they’re losers who fail. These are people whose ideology gives them cover for advocating some of the most heinous acts this earth has ever seen. The alt-right, whether they openly identify as Nazis or not, are Nazis, and are in accord with the exact same belief system that advocated for genocide, racial supremacy, patriarchy, antiquated conservatism, and other such debunked delusions even if they distance themselves from the Nazi label. When someone’s ideology gives them cover for being a piece of shit like that then you should oblige and treat them as such. Drag them into the nearest restroom and give them a couple swirlies -shit belongs in the toilet, after all. Alright. Despite my bellicose rhetoric above I am a pacifist at heart - violence ultimately begets more violence. So don’t let them drown. Don’t break any bones. Don’t go pulling off fingers the way you might the wings of a tiny, helpless, pathetic, utterly incapable-of-fighting-back mosquito before carelessly squashing it with the tip of the nail on your pinkie finger. Even though you could. Easily. It would not be hard.

But there’s a difference between perpetuating a cycle of violence by starting a blood feud or spending decades abusing someone emotionally and physically and dragging someone who said “you’re a weak effeminate pansy degenerate who wouldn't exist in our pure society and its not hate speech to want a country for white straight men and women with shared moral values” into a park bathroom and demonstrating certain inaccuracies of that argument by clamming their heads into the urinal and forcing them to eat a urinal cake. It’s not the most intellectually robust rebuttal, but you could rephrase “you’re a weak effeminate pansy degenerate who wouldn't exist in our pure society” as “you’re a stinky doo doo head who sucks and when I grow up I’m gonna be strong enough to throw you into space.” They’re functionally identical in terms of tone, content, self-aggrandizement, and mental acuity. There is no intellectually appropriate response to that kind of infantile argument - these are not intelligent people. I don’t mean ‘lacking in formal education.’ I mean they’re stupid. ‘Burn the blankets to warm the bed’ stupid. Leibowitzian ‘Proud To Be A Cretin’ stupid. ‘Smart Men Stay Ignorant; Leaning’s For Libs’ stupid. Their positions should not be treated as intellectually valid out of a misguided belief that a good intellectual should be open-minded to every idea every time it’s proposed. Sure, absolute-free-speech defenders always willing to normalize Nazi “discourse”, I’ll concede that the world-is-flat guy might have had a right to explain what his beliefs were. In 5000 BC, When nobody had heard them before and we didn’t know what he was going to say. Eight thousand years later, though, indulging his ancestor who’s just going to repeat the same points that were wrong eight millennia ago is lunacy.

A good intellectual knowns when something isn’t worth their time and acts accordingly. Sometimes this means not letting someone fill the air with hate speech out of slavish obligation to letter of freedom of expression instead of its spirit (when someone is granted the freedom to debate the idea that everyone who disagrees with them should be purged, you only harm freedom, not celebrate it.) Sometimes this means force-feeding an advocate of genocide a tasty lunchtime treat of urine and quaternary ammonium compounds while cheerfully wondering aloud what might happen if there’s still unswallowed cake in their mouth and you need to resolve certain biological necessities.

The first mistake we ever made with the alt-right was to leave the whoopee cushion at home, when we should have attended their every rally with an armful and play them constantly every time they tried to speak. “There’s nothing wrong with saying I’m pr-THPPTPHTPHPHHPH proud to be THPPTPHTPHPHHPH be white and to stand up for THPPTPHTPHPHHPH the achieveTHPPTPHTPHPHHPHments of the whitTHPPTPHTPHPHHPH of the whTHPPTPHTPHPHHPH white THPPTPHTPHPHHPH white raTPHRRURURURPHH-P-P-P- whiP-P-P-P whP-P-P whiteP-P-P-P WHITE RACTRRHPRPRP-P-P ... ... ... *cough* ... ... WHITE POWFFFFWWWPWPPRPRPRPRPRPRSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAKTRRRHHPPPP-PPP-RPPP-PPP-P-P-P-PLIPPPP-THRP plip! We should attend their rallies and events with boxes of red noses, rainbow wigs, and buckets of greasepaint and throw ourselves upon them until we’ve forced them into wearing their true colours. Remember: every SS officer who looked so forbidding in their tailored uniform stank of their own disgusting sweat because all that blackened leather couldn’t breathe and every SS trooper standing in that imposing formation was broiling in their own filth. Nothing but bozos in fetish gear. The vaunted Wehrmacht had their uniforms rot off their bodies in the snows of Stalingrad as they had to strip the dead for scraps and rags, freezing to death, starving to death, because Hitler - the great genius who personally involved himself with the running of his forces almost to a tactical level - he didn’t think they needed to be resupplied. The Nazis lost. The Nazis lost so badly their monuments were ground into dust, their leaders bodies destroyed or abandoned in the mud, the dreams of Germania proven nothing but a dusty model in a museum devoted to cursing the Nazi’s memory. Nothing but a shrine to hubris and grossly over-estimating your own abilities. The legacy of the Nazis is humiliation, shame, and utter fucking failure. Neo-Nazis, this ‘new’ alt-right whose philosophies are all old, have as their heroes men who did nothing but fail, who achieved nothing but to have their life’s work expunged, debased, destroyed, and condemned by the world not just in their time but for generations after. Not misunderstood geniuses but understood buffoons. Never, ever, let them forget this - and never, ever let them try to turn it into a virtue. No ‘we shall rise again’ narratives. No abyss-to-transformation in some bullshit Cambellian hero’s journey. Their past was not a defeat to inspire them to future victory. They are not the underprivileged hurdle jumper who against all odds and obstacles wins gold at the Olympics, they’re the guy on your track team who once pushed so hard on a door marked pull that he fell through the glass and had to get ten stitches, the guy who got so drunk at an out-of-town meet that he shat his bed at the hotel and tried to hide the dirty sheets in his bags and stunk-up the bus ride home until Coach found out and chewed him out in front of the entire team for being the biggest fucking tool in the whole wide world. Not the guy who was a loner in high school but who found like-minded friends in college, started a cool band where they sang about their sucky pasts, and wound-up a rich and famous with legions of adoring fans. Nah, they’re the guy who was a loner in high school, and in college, and in the job at the napkin distribution company, the guy who retired without a party, spent weeks at a time with no one to talk to, and ultimately died alone - not because he was socially awkward or shy or struggled to communicate, but because he was really unpleasant to be around and even those virtuous folk who try and make sure that nobody is lonely gave up on him because he was such a nasty, loathsome, turd of a human being whose only impact on the world was that he improved it by leaving it. That’s the past of the Nazis. That, too, is their future. Never let them forget this. Their past should embarrass them. Mortify them. There’s is the ideology of pathetic losers. When you march against them, raise high above your heads images of Nazi Germany - not rigid columns of well-armed soldiers or shining tanks rolling off the lines, but the images of their ineptitude. The shuffling columns of defeated, broken men. Their burnt tanks, their downed planes, their sunken ships, their pulverized cities, and all the equipment abandoned in panicked withdrawals or through sheer bureaucratic incompetence. Show images of Jews defiant, the simple act of their still drawing breath spit in the eye of those who thought to see them erased. Humiliate the Nazis again and again and again. They. Failed. The Jews endured, survived, flourished - won. The conquered nations of Europe rebuilt their cultural wonders and their ruined homes and brought back their stolen treasures. They won. The disposed Roma preserved their ways of life despite the will of an entire conquering empire set against them. They won too. The queer communities persecuted for their ‘deviancy’ not only survived they reshaped the post-war world into a place that could no longer sideline them in history. Another victory. The Nazis lost. The Nazi’s failed so completely that they lost not only the territory they had tried to gain but their own nation lay shattered at their feet - politically, socially, economically, spiritually. The Great and Powerful Nazi Party so failed its own people that Germany was sundered into West Germany, East Germany, and Eastern Prussia, promptly swallowed whole by the Societs - the trauma from that lingers generations on. The Nazis not only failed to achieve any of their goals - they failed in the promise made by any such ideology: in joining us we will protect you. They did not just fail to make Germany greater, they literally destroyed it, and left it in pieces. So when you march against the alt-right, these neo-Nazis, Hoist photos of the bloated corpses of the hanged at Nuremberg - their swollen faces distorted in death. Chant the cry “Morons, Not Martyrs!” Remind every alt-right shit-eating soul that they were nothing, are nothing, will always be nothing but failures, losers, and followers of stupid, incompetent, incapable fools. They were, are, shall always, can only ever be wrong. “These are your role models? This is your dream? Failures! Failures! Failures!” “Be A Nazi To Lose It All” Do not, for a single solitary second, treat their ideas as grown-up. Do not, for a moment, give them the cover of adulthood, maturity, or sober discourse. Do not, for one second of time, treat them with respect so long as they seek to hold power over you, to be feared by you, to be thought of as an enemy and not something foul but forgettable to be scrapped off your shoe. Never give them an inch of fear to feed their starving egos. The man who said that rocks were soft as butter and as edible as custard would be given no weight as a person of substantive ideas - Nazis deserve the same derision.  And do not allow them a moment of privacy to brood on the indignities you heap upon them, to be like a teen sulking in their bedroom crafting fantasies about how one day they’ll be proven right and everyone will be sorry. Drag them out into the light again and again and again, give them no moment of peace, allow no instant of time to pass when you are not holding images of their ideology’s worthlessness and failure above their heads. No hiding. No sulking. No second to plot or brood or dream. Stake them to the earth, keep them forever in the light, and pummel them with pie until even they can not deny that they are nothing but clowns worthy only of mockery, ridicule, and endless savage laughter.

[carrotcouple]

I was thinking this morning about how chibi ebisu interacts with the other gods of fortune (I'm counting yato bc he's a fuckin god of fortune okay) but kofuku and bisha and the others are p used to him reincarnating a lot right? do they have any traditions or like pranks they play on him since he doesn't know? does ebisu leave himself notes about the pranks so he knows they're coming? do the shinki get involved? basically how do the other gods of fortune interact with newly reincarnated ebisu

OK, but this is like a huuuuuuuuge issue for Ebisu. You know the little black notebook he’s always carrying around?

The one. He’s got gazillions of those filled with schedules, appointments, thoughts, doodles, little depressing ‘I wanna sleep forever’s written there and of course, warnings for the next reincarnation cause well shit, we ain’t gonna have Kofuku going around and kissing every new baby Ebisu just cause he’s sweet and cute, it would signal the apocalypse.

Well, obviously when it comes to Kofuku, the shinki intervene as well, always carrying around sacred purifying salt if they get wind that she might be in Takamagahara. Kofuku dealt with right there. 

Then of course there’s Ookuninushi. Listen, this man is a force of nature, the head of Izumo, the people’s favorite and he wears sunglasses with yukatas and rides motorbikes with pet bunnies in tow. Friend or not, Ebisu must have left notes to himself ‘don’t let this is weird af man influence you, although he’s a good guy’. Ookuninushi in normal circumstances, is probably like: big, really strange dad that’s never home for Ebisu. He brings Chibisu treats whenever he drops by, checks what he’s been up to and ‘hey how’s the reading going, wanna stroke my pet bunny’s fur?’ Moreover, Ookuninushi probably also really annoys Chibisu cause he’s always treating Ebisu like a little kid, regardless of his age really.

Look at his face, ‘no sorry, Ookuninushi, I really appreciate you came to see me and you’re like one of my best estranged God friends, but I’m like what - thirty something now. I’m a big boy, stop poking your nose into my business.’ So obviously, Ebisu leaves behind notes like ‘hey I know you want to get mad and pouty cause he’s making fun of you for reading so slow, but don’t take it out on the black scraper fish, kay?’ (reference to ‘picture book lessons’ omake). ‘Also p.s. beware of hugs, there’s big and warm and nice and disgusting. NO HUGS.’

Then comes Bisha, of course. At the top of all the Bisha related pages in those little black notebooks ‘See if she’s tired of her hafuri yet or if her hafuri is tired of her. Lol, steal him.’ Ebisu doesn’t know how to handle women, especially really nice ‘lemme take care of you, I’m mom material’ types. He really likes it, he does, but he’s never wanted to get close to his fellow Gods cause he dabbled in ayakashi naming. So he probably has a note like ‘don’t let your guard down around her, don’t let the walls weaken.’ cause really all his life he’s wanted a mom figure and Bisha is well Bishamom. Bisha brings Chibisu flowers, memorizes all of his favorites, brings by anything that he’s mentioned even once like ‘hey, Bishamonten san, have you heard of taro bubble milk, I hear the humans like it a lot’ and then she brings it to him the next day. Listen, I see Ebisu as the kind of person who grows up really curious about a lot of things but is also so lazy he’s just like ‘no too troublesome to deal with,’ that describes his relationship with Bisha and so he doesn’t get close to her either. In legendary black notebook number 150 ‘she’s not your mom, so you can just hide whenever her mom-side takes over’.

In relation to the others apart of the ‘Seven Lucky Gods’:

Juroujin - Ebisu is a kind kid, he takes care of baby kittens, feeds the poor, helps the eldery. So basically, although no one knows wtf Juroujin is even talking about as his toothless mouth chatters in time to the violent trembling of his spine, Chibisu helps him walk to meetings even though he has perfectly capable shinki and the like. So he probably has notes in his notebook along the lines of ‘find a good day to take Juroujin to the dentist’, ‘get Iwami to check out his schedule for days he needs help crossing the streets’ and the like. Juroujin will give him some really old molasses candy, pat him on the head for anything nice he does and go on his way.

Hotei - Ebisu hates Hotei with a passion. Here Ebisu is working his ass off till three in the morning ‘hey I’m a fifteen year old and I’ve already had like five shots of super black coffee already and the day hasn’t even started’ and Hotei sits there eating pizza with earphones in his ears, seriously this guy was sitting a Kamuhakari with earphones plugged in and not giving a damn about the Japanese Economy like ‘Excuse me, sir, but about your food expenses, I’ve got a pretty long speech,’

So in the end his notes on Hotei amount to ‘seriously, don’t pay attention to him, it’ll itch you for the next thousands of years otherwise.’ Chibisu stares sometimes and Hotei will randomly offer him a bag of chips if he notices Chibisu staring and that remains that. They keep their safe distance.

Fukurokuju - In legendary black notebook 134: ‘old fashioned man, a little over reactive but over all makes sense, having a conversation with him isn’t so bad.’ also added in a little scribble underneath ‘it’s fun teasing him’. Cause face it, Ebisu likes teasing old men, do you even see what he does with Kuraha? Moreover, the rest of the Seven Lucky Gods love teasing him too, so Chibisu actively takes part in pranking him and somewhere along the way, every Chibisu records an elaborate ‘hey I’m back from the dead prank’ and it gets better every time with every new incarnation trying to one over the previous ones and of course, the rest of the Seven Lucky Gods pitch in to help and Fukurokuju is caught in the trap every time.

Benzaiten - Ebisu is proabably kind of wary of her. She gives the ‘I’m a tiger with my claws in only at the moment’ big sister kind of vibe. But he does have notes like ‘be polite to her, if you are, she visits with homemade cookies and fuzzy slipper and sweaters’. He probably has elaborately written notes on how to knit cause if he doesn’t at least know how it works she slams in through the front door like his worst nightmare and forces him to learn without Kunimi’s help (it doesn’t work, she always ends up passing out while driving herself crazy from trying to make him even hold the needles right.)

As for pranks, when he’s younger, they’re much subtler pranks. The Seven Lucky Gods will somehow switch his grey vest with a bright pink one when Kunimi or Iwami aren’t looking, or sneaking into Ebisu’s office and filling it with balloons or convincing Ebisu that helium balloons are normal balloons filled with sweet tasting air ‘go ahead and taste the air while I whip out my phone to record some really good stuff’. When Ebisu hits teenager stage them Ookuninushi starts to legit misplace all of his clothes and drive Ebisu and his shinkis crazy. When Ebisu hits adult stage, all hell breaks forth and all the Seven Lucky Gods are in on these pranks and because it’s unfair to only target Ebisu, they all start forming secret alliances and betraying each other and crawling in through each others windows and into their closets and bathrooms at like four in the morning. It becomes the worst war zone ever. Takamagahara is on red alert and holding it’s breath until the war dissolves. And as expected Ebisu has a secret bookshelf of past notes labelled as ‘War Survival 101′.

And of course this all comes down the most important note handed down to each Ebisu ‘Listen kid, if you don’t learn how to read at the speed of light so you can read all these notes, you’re dead meat. Good luck, my work here is done.’

Bonus:

He’s still compiling information on a certain God.

[bloojayoolie]

7/11, Be Like, and Candy: REESE ID# 46110 Found tied up to a piece of wood!! Manhattan Animal Care Center knows commands & a few tricks Silly, Goofy Rockstar yrs old TO BE KILLED 11/8/18 Stunningly Handsome...this silly , goofy boy is a total rockstar! Knows commands & def a few tricks...sweet as can be and even more loving. Found abandoned to a piece of wood...This is one boy you can fall head over heels for. Won't you let him rock your world full of love? A volunteer writes: Today's horoscope: "Face it. You're a sucker for flattery. And as you should be! Like a lion stalking the jungle you're ever on the hunt for that which feeds your soul. You are a born leader. A trendsetter. One who raises the bar of success of breathtaking heights. Long story short -- fame is your destiny! So dive into your passions and steal some hearts today." When you're right, you're right. 2 year-old Reese is a showstopper, if ever there was one. This king of the urban jungle steals hearts and stops traffic with every step he takes. With a smile brighter than the sun, a coat the color of creme caramel, and enough personality to fill the solar system, Reese is undoubtedly a star. A meeting with Reese starts with that smile and ends with a hug -- the stand-up kind, the best kind -- with lots of treat-catching and laughter in between. Your horoscope for today? "Love is on the horizon. And the horizon is on 110th street! Seize the day. Then seize Reese! And find in him your perfect match." Reese is waiting in adoptions at Manhattan's ACC. Reese ID# 46110 Manhattan Animal Care Center Sex Male Spayed / Neutered Unknown Color Tan / White Age 2Yrs (approx) Medium Mixed Breed Cross Found Stray Tied up to a piece of wood Medium Mixed Breed Cross Intake Date. 10/31/2018 Behavior History: Reese had a loose body. When I approached Reese, he wagged his tail and took treats from my hand. Reese sniffed around the back drop area and also wagged his tail when young children came in our shelter for Halloween candy. A hammock was used to get Reese inside a kennel and allowed all handling. Date of Intake: 10/31/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Reese is a medium mixed breed estimated to be 1 years old. Reese was found tied up on a piece of wood, found as a stray. Finder is unable to keep Reese because he has no time for a pet. Finder stated he noticed scratches on Reeses left ear. He stated he believes his ear is swollen or infected, and looks to be black. Previously lived with:: 1 Adult 1 Child How is this dog around strangers?: Reese is friendly and outgoing with strangers. Finder stated Reese becomes curious and approaches a person to sniff. How is this dog around children?: Reese is relaxed and playful with young children. How is this dog around other dogs?: No dogs in previous home. During walks, Reese is alert and stays still at the sight of other dogs. How is this dog around cats?: No cats in previous home. Resource guarding:: Reese is not bothered when finder touches food bowl while eating. Reese is not bothered when finder takes away a toy, treat, or bone away. Bite history:: Reese did not bite finder or child in the home. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Finder did not give Reese a bath, brush his coat or trim his nails. Reese poops and pees in the home and chews on furniture in the home. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: Yes Medical Notes: Finder stated he noticed scratches on Reeses left ear. He stated he believes his ear is swollen or infected, and looks to be black. For a New Family to Know: Reese is friendly, affectionate and playful. Reese has a high energy level and was given chew toys. Reese was kept indoors only and was in a crate for all hours of the day until finder came home. Reese was fed dry food only twice a day and is dog trained. Reese poops and pees outside on trees and also uses the bathroom inside the home. Reese knows how to sit and stay and also pulls lightly during fast walks on a leash. Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 10/31/2018 Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Stray (Information from finder) Previously lived with:: An adult and a child Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and outgoing Behavior toward children:: Relaxed and playful Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Reese is described as friendly, affectionate, and playful with a high level of activity. Date of assessment:: 11/1/2018 Look:: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, with tail wagging and ears back. Allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 1. Dog leans into the Assessor, eyes soft or squinty, soft and loose body, open mouth. Tag:: 1. Dog follows at the end of the leash, body soft. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1:: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2:: Item not conducted Toy:: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary:: Reese approached the assessor with a soft body. he was social throughout the assessment, allowed all handling, and displayed no concerning behaviors. Summary:: Reese may be most compatible with other dogs who are social and gently playful. Summary (1):: 11/1: When introduced off leash to female dogs Reese is soft and polite. Summary (2):: 11/2-3: Reese is soft and social with a group of male and female dogs. He engages in some play and may attempt to mount if play slows. Summary (3):: 11/4-11/6: Reese engages in bouts of play. Date of intake:: 10/31/2018 Summary:: Loose body, allowed handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Reese is described as having a high level of activity. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: EXPERIENCE (suitable for an adopter with some previous dog experience, especially with the behaviors outlined below) Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful Potential challenges comments:: Handling/touch sensitivity: Reese has displayed some handling and touch sensitivity around his ears, pulling away when the area around the ears is touched. He has not escalated and this behavior may resolve with his ear infections. We recommend going slow with Reese when handling his head and using positive reinforcement training to desensitize him to touch. Fearful: Reese has displayed some fearful behavior, barking at select strangers (mostly men). We recommend allowing Reese to approach all strangers as his own pace and never forcing him into interactions he is not comfortable with. Positive, force free training can help him with this reactivity. My medical notes are... Weight: 48.4 lbs Vet Notes 6/11/2018 SO BAR in kennel. barking at front kennel. EN -- eyes are clear. serous nasal discharge and sniffling during observation A CIRDC P doxycycline 100mg tablet -- give 2.25 tablets PO q24h x 14 days enrofloxacin 136mg tablet -- give 1.5 tablet PO q24h x 14 days cerenia 60mg tablet -- give 0.5 tablet PO q24h x 4 days 7/11/2018 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2y Microchip noted on Intake? no History : stray Subjective: BARH, normal appetite, normal defecation Observed Behavior - will like but will get defensive when patting or stimulating ears Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective T = uto P = wnl R = wnl BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted, clearly audibe nasal congestion, few coughs and sneezes during assessment Oral Exam: incisors unremarkable, UTO remainder due to muzzle PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: intact male, 2 testicles soft and symmetric. no urgency or discharge MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: visually normal Assessment CIRDC Prognosis: good Plan: continue with previously described CIRDC treatment plan SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to CIRDC 1619 [Spay/Neuter Waiver - Medical Condition] Your newly adopted pet has been diagnosed with CIRDC and the staff veterinarians are issuing a temp waiver from the spay/neuter requirements of the City of NY. Follow up care at your regular veterinarian is recommended to ensure continued treatment. Your veterinarian will advise you if surgical sterilization is appropriate. 7/11/2018 [Spay/Neuter Waiver - Upper Respiratory Illness] Your newly adopted animal is in treatment for C.I.R.D.C. The veterinarian is temporarily waiving this animal from the spay/neuter requirements of the City of NY until such time as the illness has resolved and the pet has sufficiently recovered. At that time, this animal must come into compliance with the spay/neuter requirements. * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! * STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU CANNOT GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications.