#it was also just auch a well acted scene

[chimneyz]

that break up scene crushes my heart every time i even think about it. tommy's little facial expressions with his sad eyes. the little nod he does as he exhales knowing this was the end. how his voice cracks and is brought to tears because it was all over and in his mind there was nothing to do to fix it. how much it hurt for him to walk away. how tommy never actually said the words "i love you" but sure as hell felt it for buck. how buck tried to be closer to tommy, to take the next step, how he was so excited to ask tommy to move in. buck's confusion when tommy said no. and him being even more confused when tommy walked out the door. how his heart broke when is brain finally caught up with the reality at hand.

[2ofswords]

top 5: plays, words, chapters/fics you wrote,items of clothing you own, ships

That’s... a lot of questions. I’ll try...

Let’s talk theater!!!

Okay, for he first one… Are we talking written plays or shows? Because there are…. Very different answers there. I’ll just include both since a lot of my favorite theatre productions are not about specific texts. (I just like a lot of them so much and want to mention them!) Also note: I live in Germany and study German literature with a focus on theatre so there will be a lot of that.

5. Die Winterreise written by Elfriede Jelinek This one is actually about the text. I guess it is not the most provocative work from Jelinek but… the themes man… the themes. The whole “passing of time” and the sadness of it. It kind of goes through all seven stages of grief about it and… well it’s Jelinek so there is much more. The whole part about the lost father near the end that just goes on forever and doesn’t stop and it is so bleak and also melancholic and full of love that cannot be properly expressed an… god. Also the first page of this text is one of my favorite written pieces of… anything really. Sometimes I just read it to… read it. This play also started my interest in theatre studies! I wrote an essay about it out of spite! I was just really annoyed by everyone calling it autobiographical (which to be fair: it absolutely is) and basing the narrator only on Jelinek’s own life when the whole narration has her style of deliberate vagueness and can be applied a whole lot more interesting. But people only relying of autobiography aspects is a pet peeve in literature studies I have in general. (Yes, I am looking at you, people who cannot shut up about Franz Kafka’s father!!)

4. Kill your Darlings by René Pollesch I have to go with one Pollesch play and while I also really liked Probleme Probleme Probleme, this one just has some banger sentences and also an octopus costume. Which is all I ever needed in a theatre production.

3. Ibsen: Peer Gynt by Markus&Markus This one is not a written script but a play. And it’s a really interesting one. It follows a group of performance artists who spend a summer with a man who has dementia and they are trying to make a play about Peer Gynt from Ibsen with him as the main role. It is part of a series trying to find the characters Ibsen writes about in our time and this is the last part of the trilogy and… it really hits. It’s just… super interesting and the plot twist is… Good. There seems to be some debate around the play and the group in general (and I actually have seen one other play from them that I really didn’t like) but this one is genius and I think it handles the discussion with a lot of dignity. Also the connections to the actual source is super interesting. There are a lot of really amazing monologues in there too!

2. Les Robots ne connecaint pas le blues oder Die Entführung aus dem Serail by Gintersdorfer/Klaßen God… this one is so good! Sadly this is another one that was played by the group and cannot be seen anymore. But god… it’s a masterpiece! It’s an analysis of the opera “Die Entführung aus dem Serail” and applies a lot of postcolonial theory, queer studies, gender studies and just… personal experiences and viewpoints. It’s thorough, it has an amazing aesthetic, an entire opera orchestra and a Coupé-décalé dance-off… It’s just a blast and so fucking clever! I really love the analysis and style of Gintersdorfer/Klaßen in general and can really recommend the group!

1. Draußen vor der Tür (The man Outside) by Wolfgang Borchert Surprising absolutely nobody. This is definitely the play I loved most through school years. But let’s be honest here: It’s mainly number one because I made my own production of it with one of my university’s theatre groups and that was – no exaggeration – the best time of my life. The magical semester I had. It’s also really good and really sad though.

The other lists are under the cut because this post is getting too long!

Okay, what’s next. Words?

Uuuuuuh. I like words. I don’t really have… specific ones I love… Uuuuuuuummmm…. I’m going with German here. There is also some great English ones but… I know more words in German… Sorry… The other lists are written in English again!!

5. erwidert mein Lieblingswort, um “sagen” auszuweichen direct nach “fragt“ und „antwortet“. Erwiderungen geben einfach recht viel Dynamik in die Sache hinein und strukturieren Dialoge. Yay!!

4. jetzt Um… ich weiß, man soll keine Füllwörter benutzen… Aber an die Regel habe ich mich noch nie gehalten? Ich mag meinen Sprachrhythmus? Und „jetzt“ ist einfach super praktisch, wenn man eine zusätzliche Silbe braucht, aber einen schnellen Sprachfluss erzeugen will. Es setzt ein bisschen druck in den Satz und lässt sich dabei sehr schnell sprechen. Außerdem eignet es sich auch sehr gut, damit wörtliche Rede ein bisschen umgangssprachlicher klingt, ohne besonders umständlich zu sein. „Was machen wir denn jetzt?“ „Das kannst du jetzt echt nicht ernst meinen!“ „Ich habe jetzt aber wirklich genug von euch!“ Fun stuff.

3. demnach Ich hoffe niemand hier hat irgendwelche großen oder interessanten Worte erwartet… Das hier ist ein Hausarbeits-Wort! Argumente! Sie lassen sich zusammenführen! Und man kann dieses eine Wort benutzen, um von einem Punkt zum nächsten zu kommen! Es ist ein Wunder! Um ehrlich zu sein, bevorzuge ich es, dafür „in diesem Sinne“ zu benutzen, aber das ist kein einzelnes Wort.

2. Enzensbergerexegetenschelte I… am out of words: Aber hier ist ein wort, dass den Buchstaben „e“ ganze zehn Mal beinhaltet und in einem lustigen Gedicht vorkommt.

1. Oh.

 Okay, about my own fics:

I rarely revisit my fics so I will just see where my gut feeling takes me. Also if I talk chapters, I will only include one chapter by fic, so that this list doesn’t become my favorite Blank Rune Chapters.

5 Shenanigans by the sea (Pathologic Fanfiction) It’s so silly but also so happy and genuinely one of my best pieces of writing! Definitelly one of my better Pathologic fanfictions and what can I say? I like to write scenes with a lot of characters that I can switch around. It was super fun! Also lifeguard Saburov is still one of the best ideas I ever used for anything.

4 “Durchführung” in Nur ein Spiel („Execution“ in Just a Game? – Hungergames Fanfiction) Another chapter of my hunger games fanfiction and… well it’s one of the most memorable I would say. I remember that I absolutely loathed writing it because my personal favorite character died and also the favorite character of my best friend but… worth it tbh. The whole love confession in it is also…. Cheffs kiss.

3 How to play. A dramatic text in three acts (Pathologic Fanfiction) I think this is the best Pathologic fanfiction I wrote. It’s just… I can’t help but love it and it’s one of the very few pieces I actually reread from time to time. I love the wordplay in this one and I really love how it mirrors some more abstract forms of theatre and… I don’t know I just think it’s one of the few times I managed to write something really smart.

2 The Last Gebo-Chapter in The Blank Rune (Hungergames Fanfiction) It’s short but… I think it hits. Don’t even think it’s the best chapter from a technical view and also… not the one that hurts the most but… It has the exact sweetspot of hurt and loving it and I worked a long time to finally get to a point in the story where I was able to write it. Also that fucking last sentence…. It symbolizes a lot of what I wanted to do with Blank Rune.

1 Das Glasperlenhaus (The Marbles‘ Shed – Original Work) It’s short story of mine an I really really love it! It’s actually hard to say what it is about but I wrote it for a competition that had the theme “Haunted House”. I guess it’s about some guy who visit’s a pretty weird small house next to a park and how that house affects his life. And also there are a lot of marbles that get knotted into a string and I guess that is metaphor for life and death or something.

 Items of clothing I own

Oh! I have a lot that I really like!!

5 The one black dress with the flower ornaments!! It’s just so… insanely pretty! It’s more for special occasions and I need to be in the mood for wearing it but man… makes me feel very fancy and fairy like.

4 All of my woolen socks! They. Are. So. Warm! And my feet are very cold. Bonus points if at one point they got extended and now have completely different types of wool attached to them? I don’t know, I really love that!

3 The one grey jacket, that kinda looks like a biker jacket where the person who made it didn’t get the memo, that these are supposed to be made out of leather. It’s just a wacky item and still very much my style and very comfy. Also I need another leather jacket, my old of kind of… faded into nonexistence…

2 The blue outdoor jacket that kind of looks like one of the cloaks in kingdom hearts but some fool painted it dark blue and so it got thrown out of the world that never was and directly into… a tom tailor outlet store I guess Ummm… Much nostalgia, I guess? Also it has some fluffy clothing parts an is super warm and comfy…

1 … my binder Not really an explanation needed, huh… Just when binder days are there it’s amazing to have it and I feel awesome wearing mine.

 Ships

5-1 Evergreen’s Ever Given

[xsecretblastsx]

2x02 - Never Been Marcused

Here we are on a new recap, sadly we say good bye to the hamptons on this episode, but it seems fitting considering is the start of fall after all. 

This one of those episodes were I barely remember what happens except for a few scenes here and there from my first watch, so it almost felt like watching a new episode. Anyway here we go.

As usual recap under the cut:

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

Akward morning after talk between Dan and Serena, not my prefered way for the start of an episode, but what can I do

Well they are kind of cute here, I’ll admit. Though I’m kind of glad Serena’s first instict wasn’t to get back together right there and actually acknoweldging their break up had a lot of reasons behind it.

Blair looks super cute riding that bicycle, so picture perfect. Too bad is only on paper. That Marcus guy is super boring.

Blair can be like “Revenge is so 12 hours ago” but Serena’s is all of us being like “Sure Blair, you totally love Marcus and all of this has nothing to do with Chuck ofc” 

I’m not sure if being refered as “ a perfect post Bass palate cleanser” can be taken as a compliment. And just like magic a wild Bass appears.

I’m just here to enjoy the akward moment every single boyfriend of Blair has to endure whenever they realize that Chuck Bass is going to be a relevant part of said relationship.

“For England” Marcus your nation is surely going to be proud of you for acting like a total englishman and accepting to be civil with Chuck Bass, the guy who just totally manipulated you into inserting himself in your date.

“Blair Waldorf a fling... you’re not exactly low maintenance” Serena speaking words of wisdom.

I guess abstinence (on Serena’s side mostly) was hard for Serena and Dan, otherwise I can’t understand why they’re acting as if keeping their hands to themselves is so difficutl, they never seemed that type of couple in S1.

Blair called him Charles, I guess she was pretty mad. 

That whole sequence of Dan and Serena fooling around on the Jitney is soooo extra, and so unintentionally funny.

Nate’s family drama is never ending, though imagine the tragedy it must be for any UES to lose their money. Auch.

Surprise! Nate’s fling is actually the Duchess.

This whole dialogue: “No offense but don’t you think you’re a little outmached?” “As a guy. Blair wants to be a princess (>.<) and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club” and the cherry on top “Oh you know is love when you star talking like an assasin” Oh Nate Archibald, I love you. 

Also apparently Chuck did spend tme with Bart from time to time, is kind of hard for me to imagine them playing Squash though.

Chuck keeping noble secrets from Nate. That’s love.

Hi Rufus... and Vanessa

Oh Marcus, giving so much intel to his new “best friend”.Also I kind of like the polo/vest combo Chuck’s wearing there. Weird.

“I have to present myself as crown jewel, sorrounded by other smaller slightly flawed gems, but quality stones nonetheless” this is such Blair thing to say haha.

“If you can’t find common ground wiht a dictator I don’t know who can” The added commentary is really making this episode for me. 

I’ve never related more to Blair than this moment where she express how great it is that Serena’s free from Dan.

I just love when we get to see how much Chuck actually cares about Nate, selling his shares of Victrola is no small deal.

Nate and Vanessa! I still can’t believe how much I don’t mind, and actually kind of like this ship.

I kind of would love to see Anne Archibald doing her shopping at Salvation’s Army.

I love the combination of that suit with that shirt Chuck’s wearing, the color really suits him. I don’t know why but I’m noticing his wardobre much more this time around. Figures. I do remember thinking the first time around he was going to try and seduce the duchess. Now that would have been another akward moment of “Sorry Nate”

Serena looks so pretty here, even if I’m not that fan of her outfil. 

“So she can warn me about the effects of too much botox” auch.  Chuck: 1, Blair: 0. and he’s definately enjoying it.

I so wish Rufus had gone to tour again. He deserved to live that dream to the fullest.

“A lowly Waldorf” wow. Even I was hurt by that. 

I love it when the GG voice oveer points out how ridiculous everything is. Case in point: “Chuck and Blair’s dates are mother and son, and Nate and Blair are exces, and Nate and the mother are in a book club?”

I get why Nate is mad at Chuck for not being upfront about the money, because it’s not easy addmitting that kind of problems in their wordl and even less accepting that kind of help, but Chuck’s intentions were good. Fact is he always helps Nate anyway he can.

The fact that Dan and Serena’s plotline this episode was basically just trying to resist each other, and I can’t help but think that this was the show’s way of trying to make them be more “chair like”, you know intense chemistry and sex appeal. As if.

“if the best version of the situation is I’m going to become Blair’s father in law I think is just time to move on” Now imagine that, thanks to Nate for putting that horrifying thought in my head.

And this is the start of Nate Archibald the gigolo.

“Oh my effing God” same Blair, same. Props to Nate for still acting so rightous and being all like “I don’t have anything to explain to you” 

Blair telling the Duchess how things are going to be now... You go baby Vamp!

“I’m gonna turned it in a novel” so I guess this throway line was the start of “Inside” 

Rufus beyond anything was first a Dad, the Humphrey kids got the best dad in the show, the kind of Dad any of the NJBC would have love to have as a parent, and yet they feel they were the unlucky ones.

That last scene between Chuck and Blair is such a display of chemistry a lot of ships wish they had. and the literal definition of what eye sexing each other means. 

I feel so bad for Nate and Vanessa right now... with the add visual bonus of her sadly blowing the candles for a date that wasn’t. Feeling sad for Vanessa, now that’s new for me.

So this episode while there are moments that I really liked and it did kind of move the plot forward in some points, it also fills a lot like a filler episode and like I don’t really have much to say about it. Maybe because these storylines while I don’t hate them I don’t particularly like them either, in particular this chapter of the Serena and Dan saga this episode feels such a waste of time, they’re basically stalling because they really don’t want to have the difficult conversation of why they broke up and how they can fix their issues, and so to keep avoiding they distract themselves with taming their unrestrained need for sleeping with each other... sorry but what?

I’m not saying there’s no chemistry between Dan and Serena, but their relationship in S1 except for like 1 or two scenes was very much rooted in cutesy moments, tenderness, and how Serena was better with Dan (ugh) and how he wanted for her, not only because she was super hot, they never acted like “oh it’s so hard to keep our hands from each other, and we can’t resist this atraction” that couple were Chuck and Blair, so on this episode I just can’t buy it, it seems forced, almost as if the show wanted them to be more exciting and outrageous... to keep them as the main couple of the show as they were suposed to be, after all at this point of the show while Chuck and Blair were getting more traction, they hadn’t really overtook the show as they eventually did. It also felt part of the “omfg” vibe the show was going for, that scene in the Jitney was so extra, though in my case rather than getting me into them just made me laugh. 

Nate storyline on the other hand is the one that really went places this episodes. It turns out his family is on the brink up bankrupcy because all the legal issues his dad is facing, and because his grandfather won’t help he and his mother are a very precarious situation wich leads Nate to seek help. He tries going to Chuck but on one hand he doesn’t really now how to explaint the situation, and also Chuck’s apparently really busy with scheming his way back to Blair. Except Chuck because he knows Nate is going to refuse him and he can’t help but help him either way sells his shares on Victrola and gives the money to Nate’s mom. Of course when Nate finds out he gets mad, because pride and also because he hates that Chuck lied to him about Victrola and to be fair it hasn’t been that long since they had a big fall out because Chuck wasn’t honest about stuff, so there’s that. Still, I feel I must take a moment to point out how much Nate actually means to Chuck? He loves that club, it’s a place with a lot of sentimental meaning too for a lot of reason and yet Chuck doesn’t hesitate to part with it if meants helping Nate. I know Chuck makes plenty of mistakes and awful things during the show, but these kind of moments are always kind of overlook and I just feel that’s unfair because only focusin on the worst of him, reduces him to this one dimensional villian, and in reality Chuck is one of the most complex characters on this show. These kind of moments are an example of his many layers.

So back to Nate, he ends up going to Vanessa, and I just feel this rewatch is turning me into a Nate and Vanessa shipper. Truth is I never hated this couple, but I was a bit meh to it, in part because Vanessa annoys the hell out of me for the most part, but I always thought she was less annoying with Nate. I like how she just sits and listens to Nate, and I think this is something that his best friends are not always the best at, Chuck tries but he’s more the type of friend that goes into action, he does what is need to do in order help rather than the heart to heart talk, and Nate and Serena’s friendship at this point while getting there, is kind of akward still and also there’s always some crisis going on her life that prevents her for being fully there, and Blair and Nate well.. they weren’t ever the talking type. So Vanessa helps with that, also when the show started Nate wanted in someway to detached himself from the UES and all it’s expectations and so Vannesa was that needed breeze of fresh air, and while she can be as judgy as Dan, I always felt she made more of an effort with Nate to be understanding than Dan ever was with the UES. So I like them, at least for now. Too bad Catherine happens and while Nate was really into the idea of having an affair with her this episode he realizes that’s an awful idea (the fact that she has a step son that’s older than him and is also dating Blair is admiteddly gross) but it’s a desperate time, and she offers him her help... and so we got Nate the gigolo, and that last scene in the taxi when he cancels on Vanessa made me sooo sad.

Lastly we have the Chuck and Blair part of the story, it’s always fun to see them scheming, and Chuck’s tactics these episode are rather sucessful at first and it’s mostly a display of him knowing Blair so well that he’s able to get the upper hand on all of her efforts to get on the Lord and his family good side. I should feel bad for her, in the sense that Chuck’s ruiningin her plans and it’s not fair because if he had showed up to Tuscany everything would be different. And yet I’m kind of glad he gets on her way because truthfully, this is just one of those times that Blair is trying to show herself as something she isnt’ in order to get a guy, and also climb higher in the social hierarchy, and it pains me because at the end of the day is just Blair not accepting herself, like Serena keeps pointing out through all the episode, just show the real Blair sure, she’s anything but low maintainance but there’s a lot of amazing in her that can make her shine to anyone. This plot also reminded me a bit of Blair and the prince storyline and also (because this party was trying to be very pretentious and sofisticated) that saloon thing she did with Dan in Season 5 and just remembering that gives me nightmare. So really not a fan of these particular scenes. In the end she ends up gaining the duchess via blackmail, which I like because I hate the Duchess so I’m all for Blair showing her Queen B side in full display and after this episode I missed it. It’s also the basis of that great moment at the end between her and Chuck in the Van der Bass kitchen, which is easily the most memorable thing in the whole hour and only for that I’m glad this episode exists. The chemistry and sexual tension  of this whole scene is amazing and it puts to shame all the Dan and Serena “can’t keep their hand of each ohter” scenes, this is how is done. Sorry Derena.

Random bits I noticed:

The Pierces song playing in the background at the start of the episode, “Boy in a Rock and Roll Band” always puts me in a good mood for some reason.

That pearl headband Blair’s wearing at the party were so popular here for a while, I loved it so much back then, I sort of wish I had one now.

I loved the “Summer 08″ collage the Humphrey’s had in their loft. It also had this phrase “ I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality... I still believe that we shall overcome” by Dr. Martin Luther King. Kind of relevant isn’t it?

Having and episode ending with a shot of  the NYC skyline at night, while New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down playing in the background... these are the kind of details I love. 

Ending with a Chuck pick because I really like this suit

[bravemadchentundasnichthd2020]

[HD]▷ brave mädchen tun das nicht ~©2020 |Ganzer FILM |4K ((123DeutschLand)) Kostenlos!!

Zusammen mit dem Covid-19-Problem wurden Filmvorführungen in den Kinos verschoben. als alternativer Weg ist über das Internet. Viele Filmliebhaber wählen das Internet, um Filme mit den Vorteilen einer klaren Grafik und ohne Werbung anzusehen. schau dir [tapferes Mädchen tun das nicht] kostenlos online an (2020) Stream Film. Sieh dir an, wie mutig mädchen tun das nicht 2020 Film Online kostenlos mit englischen Untertiteln zum Download bereit ist tapfer mädchen tun das nicht 2020 720p, 1080p, brrip, dvdrip, hohe Qualität.

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24. September 2020 / 1 Std. 34 Min. / Komödie, Romanze

Von Nick Riedell, Chris Riedell

Mit Lucy Hale, Mindy Cohn, Jackie Cruz

Produktionsland USA

INHALTSANGABE & DETAILS Eigentlich hat die Violinistin Lucy Neal (Lucy Hale) ihr Leben dank Post-its und zahlreicher To-Do-Listen voll im Griff. Sie hat sich so unter Kontrolle, dass sie eigentlich nichts erschüttern kann - eigentlich! Denn sie erwischt ihren Freund Jeff (Stephen Friedrich) mit einem Pornofilm, was Lucys heile Welt ganz schön ins Wanken bringt. Sie stellt ihn vor die Wahl: Entweder widmet er sich voll und ganz seiner Freundin oder seinen Pornos. Beides zusammen geht nicht. Jeff macht kurzen Prozess, bezeichnet Lucy als verklemmt und trennt sich von ihr. Dass sie verklemmt sein soll, kann die Musikerin nicht auf sich sitzen lassen und erstellt daraufhin eine Sex-to-do-Liste, mit all den Dingen, die sie im Bett noch erleben will. Unterstützung erhält sie dabei von ihren Freunden aus dem Streichquartett, die ihr mit Freuden dabei helfen, die Liste abzuarbeiten. Von nun an geht es für Lucy in Stripclubs, Sexshops und Pornomessen und dabei stellt sie fest, dass man nicht nur viel über das sexuelle Vergnügen lernt, sondern auch eine Menge über die wahre Liebe.

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❍❍❍ TV MOVIE ❍❍❍ The first television shows were experimental, sporadic broadcasts viewable only within a very short range from the broadcast tower starting in the 1930s. Televised events such as the 1936 Summer Olympics in Germany, the 19340 coronation of King George VI in the UK, and David Sarnoff’s famous introduction at the 1939 New York World’s Fair in the US spurred a growth in the medium, but World War II put a halt to development until after the war. The 19440 World MOVIE inspired many Americans to buy their first television set and then in 1948, the popular radio show Texaco Star Theater made the move and became the first weekly televised variety show, earning host Milton Berle the name “”Mr Television”” and demonstrating that the medium was a stable, modern form of entertainment which could attract advertisers. The first national live television broadcast in the US took place on September 4, 1951 when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in San Francisco was transmitted over AT&T’s transcontinental cable and microwave radio relay system to broadcast stations in local markets. The first national color broadcast (the 1954 Tournament of Roses Parade) in the US occurred on January 1, 1954. During the following ten years most network broadcasts, and nearly all local programming, continued to be in black-and-white. A color transition was announced for the fall of 1965, during which over half of all network prime-time programming would be broadcast in color. The first all-color prime-time season came just one year later. In 19402, the last holdout among daytime network shows converted to color, resulting in the first completely all-color network season.

❍❍❍ Formats and Genres ❍❍❍ See also: List of genres § Film and television formats and genres Television shows are more varied than most other forms of media due to the wide variety of formats and genres that can be presented. A show may be fictional (as in comedies and dramas), or non-fictional (as in documentary, news, and reality television). It may be topical (as in the case of a local newscast and some made-for-television films), or historical (as in the case of many documentaries and fictional MOVIE). They could be primarily instructional or educational, or entertaining as is the case in situation comedy and game shows.[citation needed] A drama program usually features a set of actors playing characters in a historical or contemporary setting. The program follows their lives and adventures. Before the 1980s, shows (except for soap opera-type serials) typically remained static without story arcs, and the main characters and premise changed little.[citation needed] If some change happened to the characters’ lives during the episode, it was usually undone by the end. Because of this, the episodes could be broadcast in any order.[citation needed] Since the 1980s, many MOVIE feature progressive change in the plot, the characters, or both. For instance, Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere were two of the first American prime time drama television MOVIE to have this kind of dramatic structure,[4][better source needed] while the later MOVIE Babylon 5 further exemplifies such structure in that it had a predetermined story running over its intendevd five-season run.[citvatio””&n needed] In 2012, it was reported that television was growing into a larger component of major media companies’ revenues than film.[5] Some also noted the increase in quality of some television programs. In 2012, Academy-Award-winning film director Steven Soderbergh, commenting on ambiguity and complexity of character and narrative, stated: “”I think those qualities are now being seen on television and that people who want to see stories that have those kinds of qualities are watching television.

❍❍❍ Thank’s For All And Happy Watching ❍❍❍ Find all the movies that you can stream online, including those that were screened this week. If you are wondering what you can watch on this website, then you should know that it covers genres that include crime, Science, Fi-Fi, action, romance, thriller, Comedy, drama and Anime Movie. Thank you very much. We tell everyone who is happy to receive us as news or information about this year’s film schedule and how you watch your favorite films. Hopefully we can become the best partner for you in finding recommendations for your favorite movies. That’s all from us, greetings! Thanks for watching The Video Today. I hope you enjoy the videos that I share. Give a thumbs up, like, or share if you enjoy what we’ve shared so that we more excited. Sprinkle cheerful smile so that the world back in a variety of colors.

[petekaos]

hab gesehen auf dein main dass du in deutschland wohnst also ich dachte ich würde dich mal auf deutsch anschreiben: und BRUDER. war diese folge eine legende ich bin vielleicht insgesamt zehnmal gestorben, weiss immer noch nicht was ich überhaupt gerade denken soll, alles was mein gehirn gerade beschäftigt ist sarawats gesicht als er gesagt hat, dass die gitarre tine gehört und auch gehört hat seit dem ersten tag, like alter ich glaub mir ist was innerlich zerbrochen

hey!! ehrlich gesagt überrascht es mich ein bisschen, mal ein ask auf deutsch zu kriegen, vor allem über diese serie. aber freut mich! und ich kann dir nur zustimmen, ich lag danach einfach auf mein bett und musste über die folge nachdenken. es war einfach so VIEL, ich kann es überhaupt nicht fassen, dass so viel in so nem kurzen zeitraum passiert ist, aber mein GOTT hab ich darauf gewartet, y’know? auf jeden fall hat bright die szene voll gut gespielt, seine gestik war einfach top und hat mich wirklich bewegt, no joke, besonders wenn er gesagt hat, dass die gitarre tine gehört--ich musste da erstmal kurz auf stopp drucken und atmen. ich sitze hier jetzt an meinem schreibtisch und höre kan gu seit ner stunde lmaoo

translation: 

anon: “i saw on your main that you live in germany, so i thought i’d send you an ask in german. and man, was this episode legendary, i died maybe ten times and still don’t know what i should even be thinking right now, the only thing that’s occupying my brain is sarawat’s face as he said that the guitar belongs and has always belonged to tine, since the first day. like dude, i think something broke inside of me.”

me: “hey! honestly i’m a bit surprised to get an ask in german, especially about this show, but it’s nice! and i can only agree, i laid in my bed afterwards and had to think about the episode. it was just so MUCH, i can’t even believe that so much happened in such a short time frame,but my GOD have i been waiting for this, you know? anyway bright acted this scene super well, his expressions were incredible and really moved me, no joke. especially when he said, that the guitar belongs to tine--i needed to pause for a second and breathe. i’ve been sitting at my desk and listening to kan gu for an hour lmaoo.”

[futurewriter2000]

Secret and Lies ~ Part 3

A/N: What have I done... I am so sorry. I am a horrible person and I’m so sorry. Pls don’t hate me.

TAGS: @shadyladyperfection , @nadinissavage , @geeksareunique , @huflerin 

Other parts ---> MASTERLIST

Xx

A week. That is how long Remus hasn't seen you. A week that felt like 700 years. Each day another long 100 years.

He wasn't allowed in your dorm because you didn't want to see him. You weren't at the dining table because you were never hungry.

He knew what he did by saying what he did. Blackmailing you was over the line and he realized it. It just never accured to him that you would be falling for his best friend. But that was not important anymore. You were important. His little sister that kept being stuck in her dorm room. 

At least that’s what he thought.

"Where is she Lils?" he asked impatiently as he followed Lilly out of the classroom.

She didn't say a word, only quickening her pace. She was your best friend and she was the only one who knew where you were. She kept telling Remus and Sirius off because you weren’t in your dorm. You were back home with your parents, getting over some stuff. Stuff she swore to keep a secret.

That was until James stopped in front of her and grinned. "Where is she, darling? She turned around to her left only to see Peter standing there, and to her right there was Sirius.

"She doesn't want to see you. Any of you." she hissed and tried to push pass James but was only wrapped around his arms.

"I need to see her Lilly." worried Remus and walked closer.

"Potter! You arrogant prick! LET ME GO!" she shouted and started kicking around.

"Please Lilly. We just want to know how she's holding up." said Sirius who shared the same worried expression as Remus.

As she calmed down, James slowly put her down on her feet. She glanced between Sirius and Remus for a moment, crossing her arms as she wrapped her head around it. "So let me get this right. First you get all pissed of because he's dating your sister and now you guys are back to being best friends." she scoffed and glared at both of them.

"Lilly, please-"

"No! You don't get to tell her shit and then say you did because you wanted to protect her!". She bellowed at Remus before turning to Sirius. "And you! You don't get to disappear and leave her to deal with this mess alone. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT!" she shouted even louder, pointing a finger at Sirius.

“Just tell us where she is?” asked James and stepped in front of Sirius.

“NO!” she said determined, turned around and stormed out of the scene.

She walked up to her dorm, noticing the slightly opened door. Lilly lightly knocked on the door and entered.

You didn't hear it. You didn't want to hear anything right now. All you did was listen to Bruce Springsteen's record. His voice always seemed to calm you down. It was low and a bit raspy but it was perfect. The music, the lyrcs and his voice. Dan his voice, it was just so pleasing to hear it.

"(Y/n)." you heard her say. Her voice soft and calming.

But you couldn't. Because if she would ask you. If she dared to ask you you would start crying like a fool.

"Are you okay?"

Damn it. She said it. She said it and the tears started to roll down your cheeks just like you knew they would.

"I can't Lilly." you sobbed. "I can't face him. I can't tell him. Any of them." you cried and let her wrap her hands around you.

You took a hold of her arms, gripping them tightly and sobbing.

"They need to know (y/n). He's your brother."

"I-I know. Bu-but how do I tell him. I wanted to make him suffer these past days for what he did but instead I found out something so much worse and now I - I don't even know. Wha-wha...Lilly what do I do?" you continued to sobb in her arms.

She pulled you closer to her embrace and moved your hair away from your wet cheeks. "You'll tell them when you're ready. And I will be there every step of the way." 

You shot up from Lilly's embrace to jump on your knees and face her. "He mustn't know! He can't! It will break him!"

"(Y/n)! He needs to know!" she shouted at you and took a hold of your hands.

"No! Remus too. Nobody can't know!" you shouted back.

"But why!?"

"Lilly you can't tell Lilly! Please! They'll treat me differently. Like I'm fragile. I don't want that." you started to panic, your eyes searching for answers in her green ones.

"But your mom and dad..." her voice cracked and a tear escaped her eyes.

"They said I can tell him whenever I want to. They won’t tell him and they always keep their word.”

"But I can't." Lilly spoke and another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Lilly." you simpered and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I'll be fine. I just need you to be here for me."

She looked at you and smiled through her tears. "You know you're even more stubborn than me. I'm a bad influence on you Lupin." she laughed.and pulled you in a tight hug. "You know you won't be able to hide it forever and they have the right to know." she whispered softly and pulled you even tighter.

"I know. " 

"Merlin's beard! Why did I take this class! I'll fail this!" panicked Sirius and ran his fingers through his hair and turning the pages while he walked to his house table.

"Well if you weren't messing with my sister than maybe you'd know more." retorded Remus and eyed Sirius.

Sirius stopped and looked up at his best friend who only gave him a playful smirk. "You will never forgive me for this. Will you?"

"I kind of had to. I pushed you down the stairs." he chuckled and threw another peanut in his mouth. 

That's when he saw you. As soon as the peanut landed in his mouth, his eyes fell on you. Your hair let down, wearing the Gryffindor tie and laughing with Lilly.

"Lu!" burt Remus and ran towards you to give you a hug. "Oh my god I am so sorry for what I said! I love you so much Lu and I swear I will never blackmail you ever again. I love you. Love you. Love you." he rambled on and continue to kiss your cheeks while his arms were tightly wrapped around you.

"Oh my god Remus ! You're embarrassing me!" you giggled and pushed him away.

That giggle. That gorgeous giggle of yours which he almost forgot how it sounded. 

"I don't care. I thought I lost you baby Lu." he smiled in the crook of your neck as he lifted you up and twirled you around, hearing that giggle come out of your mouth once more.

And Sirius. Sirius couldn't help himself but to smile at the two of you. You looked radiant as always. Your shiny (y/h/c) hair messed up from Remus’ attack and your robes a bit crinkled from all the hugging. But as he glanced to Lilly, he noticed her expression and it wasn't happy. 

It was sad.

And not just sad. It was worried and it seemed to hide something. She didn't even turn around to look up at them and she kept poking the food with her fork.

"Sirius." you spoke, interrupting him from his thoughts. "Can I talk to you?"

He looked up at you and smiled. "Yes, of course. "

"Don't do anything stupid." growled Remus and made both of you and Sirius roll your eyes.

As soon as the two of you were out of the Great Hall you jumed in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and making him take a few steps backwards. He gripped his strong arms around you and lifted you few inches off the fround, burrying his head in your neck.

"I missed you, love." he whispered in your neck before you pulled away and smacked him across the cheek. "Auch! What was that for?!"

"How dare you leave me alone for two weeks and not even bothering to tell me wherever you went!" you shouted, crossing your arms and waiting on his respond.

"I got hurt! Remus pushed me down the stairs and I broke my arm and sprained my ankle. Why do you think he forgave me." he explained and started rubbing his cheek from pain.

"Oh." is all you could say.

"Oh? Really? You just smacked the hell out of me and all you say is oh. An appology would be nice."

"Don't act like you didn't deserve it. " you scolded and took a step away from him.

There was a silence. Not an awkward silence, no. A silence where the both of you knew what followed after it. That silence.

"(Y/n)?" he spoke quietly and took a step forward. Taking your hands in his, he looked up at you. "What are we?"

You looked down on your hands and back up to his grey eyes. Merlin, you wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell him so bad.

Maybe you should.

No, you can't.

But he's Sirius. You need to tell him.

But if you do he'll be broken. He wont be the same. Spoke the voice in the back of your head.

"We're friends. That's all." you said and pulled away from his hold. "We're friends." you repeated quieter.

Sirius' hands fell down against his body. It felt like he lost something. Something he didn't know he had until now. What was it, he didn't know. All he did know he didn't want it gone.

"I'm sorry Sirius. It's for the best."

"No!" he was finally able to speak. "It's not for the best. It's for Remus. Are you really going to hide the fact that what we have isn't real. Are you just going to throw this all away?!" he exploaded and walked closer to you but you held your hand up to keep the distance away.

You felt sick. You felt your stomach twist and turn and the food you previously ate was slowly coming back up your throat. It felt disgusting. It turly felt disgusting and it seemed to choose an awfully bad timing.

"Oh. Okay then." he finished as he saw you backing away and turning around. He back to the Great Hall, pushing past Lilly as she walked your way.

Lilly ran to you and put her hands on your cheeks." No. Not here (y/n)." she said and wrapped her hand around you to walk you to the bathroom.

Another week has passed and everything was going flawlessly.

Well...almost everything.

"Shh...it's okay." whispered Lilly as she held your hair while you leaned on the toilet, throwing up your dinner. "When is your next appointment?" she asked as you finally lifted your head up.

"Tomorrow. Already told McGonnagal. I also asked if you could come with me." you said and opened the pipe to wash your face.

"You know I would always go with you but don't you think Remus should be the one or at least Sirius." she said and offered you a towel.

"You know I can't tell them. I don't want him to go through this. It's my fight not his. Plus he hates me." you explained and wiped your face with the towl.

"And Remus? "

"He's just so happy right now. Everything is going so good for him. I don't want to ruin it with this."

"Fine. But you need to promise me you'll tell him soon. You're sick and you are hiding it from him."

"I promise I'll tell him. Just not right now. When the time is right."

The time was never right. That was because you never intended to tell him. Everytime you saw him smiling and laughing with his friends you knew you couldn't burdain him with it.

You watched him instead. He was so damn happy. Such a big smile as James and Peter joked around with one another and Sirius jumping in with his insulting comments.

If you told him that picture would be long gone. No more happy faces, no more laughing in the room...gone.

Remus’ eyes fell on you and his smile grew even bigger. “Lu! Come ‘ere! Join us!” 

“Sorry Johnny. I need to find Lilly!” you waved at them and turned to walk up to the girls dormitories.

“Come on (y/n)! It’ll be fun!” yelled James, holding Sirius under his arm and messing his hair while Sirius laughed and tried to get out of his grip. “I bet Padfoot here won’t be so mad anymore that you dumped his arse!” 

Sirius got free of his best friends grip and moved the hair away from his face before turning to you. “It’s all in the past, darling.” he winked at you and ran to grab your hand and pull you to their little corner. 

James waved his wand and the music started playing, making all the four of  marauders sing outloud. “ Born in the USA!” they all sang together and jamp on their feet. 

“Your favorite Lu. Bruce Springsteen.” smiled Remus and took your hands to spin you around. 

Your eyes fell on Sirius’ smiling eyes as he heard Remus say those words. He knew the only reason you loved Bruce so much was because of him. He started dancing towards you. 

“Come on. Where are your dance moves now!” he laughed and took your hands to spin you around.

“Oh that’s how it’s going to be!” you laughed and signaled Remus to come over. “Come on Johnny, let’s show him how the Lupin family does this.” 

Remus danced over to you and twirled you around before the two of you started dancing like tow high idiots, making the other marauders in the room laugh too loud.

After the song was over you started panting. It became hot and stiff and you leand your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath.

“Come, come Lu. I told you to cut down on those donuts.” teased Remus and danced around you. 

You felt your energy slowly leave your body. Your muscles were barely keeping you up on your feet. “Piss of, John.” you panted and showed him your middle finger. “ I’ll just go up.” you added and turned back to the stairs.

“Okay. But you know you’re missing all the fun!” shouted James as you started to climb the stairs.

That was when it started to get dizzy. Dizzy enough for the picture to get blurry and the voices echo in your ears. 

“(y/n)! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” shouted Lilly from the top of the stairs.

“I’ll be up in a sec.” you said weakley, trying to take another step. 

Lilly knew something was wrong as soon as she noticed the boys dancing around to Bruce Springsteen. “Shit.”she said and started walking down the stairs towards you. 

But before she could reach you, you already lost the balance trying to take another step up. Suddeny loosing all the strength, feeling a few hits on your body, everything started to get dark and all you heard was Lilly’s voice echo in your ear, soon followed by Remus and Sirius.

“(y/n)!” 

“Lu!” 

[addicted-to-darkness]

A Primary Agreement - Castrum Fluminis and Flashback (German to English)

This time, a look at the scene in Castrum Fluminis. As before, heavy spoiler warning for patch 4.3. Under the Moonlight. If you wish to see more translated, let me know, for I only intended to translate this part of the quest along with the flashback I already finished.

Bold: English Localization

Plain: German transcription

Cursive: Literal translation

(Asahi) At last, the hour has come. The conclusion to these negotiations will mark a new beginning for Doma and the Empire—a first step on the road to peaceful coexistence.

Es ist so weit. Der heutige Tag ist der erste Schritt auf dem Weg zu einem dauerhaften Frieden zwischen Doma und Garlemald. Ein großartiges historisches Ereignis!

The time has come. Today is the first step on the path to long-lasting peace between Doma and Garlemald. A magnificent historical occasion!

(Hien) Indeed. We are ready to proceed with the exchange when you are.

Ich sehne auch den friedlichen Abschluss des Gefangenenaustauschs herbei.

I yearn for the peaceful exchance of prisoners as well.

Forgive my curiosity, Ambassador, but is there a purpose to these containers you bring with you?

Übrigens … Dürfte ich fragen, was sich in diesen Behältern befindet?

By the way … May I ask what's inside these crates?

(Asahi) Oh, the supply crates? They are filled with materials we hoped might be of use in Doma's restoration. I meant to gift them to you at our last meeting, but we had so much else to discuss...

Ach, darin … Nur ein paar Dinge, die ich euch letztes Mal schon geben wollte. Güter, die ihr zum Wiederaufbau eures Reiches verwenden könnt.

Oh, inside those … Just a few things, which I had intended to give you last time already. Goods, which you may use for the rebuilding of your kingdom.

(Hien) How very generous. I confess, I had not expected such compassion, welcome though it is.

Das wäre nicht nötig gewesen.

That wasn't necessary.

...But then I was also surprised by the news hat one of our captives had delivered herself into your custody ahead of time—a minor discrepancy I shall overlook in the spirit of the occasion.

Ihr habt die Erfüllung eines Teils der Abmachung ja schon selbst in die Hand genommen. Ein Detail, über das wir keine weiteren Worte verlieren müssen.

You already took the execution of one part of our agreement into your own hands. A detail, which we needn't speak about any more.

(???) Are you perhaps referring to me, Lord Hien?

Sprecht ihr von mir?

Are you talking about me?

(Hien) Yotsuyu.

Yotsuyu …

Yotsuyu …

(Yotsuyu) Orphan of the Naeuri, widow of Sashihai...

Ganz recht. Yotsuyu, Tochter der Naeuri, Witwe des Sashihai …

That's right. Yotsuyu, daughter of the Naeuri, widow of Sashihai …

...And acting viceroy of Doma! You and your people are mine to govern; mine to punish!

Und die Statthalterin von Doma! Eure Geißel und Unterdrückerin!

And the viceroy of Doma! Your scourge and oppressor!

(Hien) Well, well. It would seem your shattered mind is mended. As per our agreement with the ambassador, you are free to return with him to the Empire.

Da sie ihr Gedächtnis offenbar wiedererlangt hat, soll sie zurückkehren. So, wie es abgemacht war.

Since she obviously regained her memory, she shall return. Just as we agreed on.

Your authority as acting vicerroy, however, is no longer recognized here.

Aber eines vergesst nicht: Doma hat keine Statthalterin!

But don't forget one thing: Doma has no viceroy!

(Yotsuyu) My position is not for you to decide, little lordling.

Ahahaha! Schweig, Aufständischer!

Ahahaha! Silence, insurgent!

All who resist the rule of the Empire must be purged. Such was the order given to me by Lord Zenos himself!

Jeder, der sich gegen die Herrschaft des Kaiserreichs auflehnt, wird ausradiert! Das ist die Aufgabe, die Zenos mir erteilte!

Everyone, who rebels against the sovereignty of the Empire will get eradicated! That is the task, Zenos gave me!

I will reign here in this putrid, pestilent swamp until the last of you has been broken!

Ich beabsichtige, diese Aufgabe zu erfüllen und wieder über dein kümmerliches Land zu herrschen.

I intend to fulfill this task and reign over your pathetic land once again.

This land shall know no dawn. I will spew forth darkness and drown all in eternal night. And high above you I shall shine uncaring, cold and distant as the moon!

Niemals werdet ihr das Licht der Freiheit erblicken. Die Finsternis in meinem Herzen wird alles verschlingen, und ein Land der Finsternis erschaffen. Nur einen eisigen Mond werdet ihr sehen – und das werde ich sein!

Never will you gaze upon the light of freedom. The darkness in my heart will swallow all and create a land of darkness. The only thing you shall look upon is an icy moon – and that will be me!

(Hien) What has she done!?

Was ist das für ein Licht?

What is this light?

(Alphinaud) Oh, gods... This is a summoning!

Ist das etwa eine Primae?

Is that a primal?

(Asahi) A Doman citizen has called forth an eikon in direct violation of our primary agreement. The negotiations have failed. Abandon the captives, and make preparations to withdraw.

Eine Domanerin hat einen Primae beschworen. Ein klarer Verstoß gegen die Abmachung. Dieses Treffen ist beendet. Bereitet den Abflug vor!

A Doman woman has summoned a primal. A clear violation of our agreement. This meeting is over. Prepare for departure!

(Maxima) But, Ambassador...

Aber was wird aus dem Frieden?

But what about peace?

(Asahi) Disobey me, Pilus, and you disobey the Emperor. Make preparations to withdraw—now.

Widersetzt du dich dem Befehl eines kaiserlichen Gesandten? Wir fliegen ab!

Are you defying an order from an imperial ambassador? We are leaving!

(Maxima) ...As you command.

Grrr … Zu Befehl!

Grrr … As you command!

(Yugiri) My lord! You must fall back!

König Hien, wir müssen uns zurückziehen!

Lord Hien, we need to withdraw!

(Hien) You ask me to run!?

Nein! Macht euch kampfbereit!

No! Prepare for combat!

(Warrior of Light) Leave this to me!

Überlasst das mir! Mit Primae ist nicht zu spaßen.

Leave it to me! There's no joking with Primals!

(Hien) Bah... Against such a foe, I would be more hinderance than help. The field is yours!

Grrr … Du hast Recht. Einem Primae bin ich nicht gewachsen … Ich vertraue auf dich!

Grrr … You're right. I don't stand a chance against a primal … I believe in you!

We will withdraw...but not without our countrymen. I want every soul accounted for. Every soul!

Wir ziehen uns zurück! Aber nicht ohne die Gefangenen! Seht zu, dass niemand zurückbleibt!

We are withdrawing! But not without the prisoners! See to it that no one gets left behind!

(Yugiri) My lord!

Jawohl!

Yes, sir!

(???) I knew you would not flee. I see now the strength which flows from that baleful light of yours.

Jetzt sind nur noch wir übrig. Die Göttin der Nacht und der Krieger des Lichts.

Now it's just us. The Goddess of the Night and the Warrior of Light.

But I am become Tsukuyomi, goddess of the moon and divinity of the night. What power can compare to such celestial majesty!?

Deine verwunschene Gabe wird dir nichts nutzen. Denn ich bin Masokagami entstiegen … Ich bin die Herrscherin der Nacht und des Mondes … Ich bin Tsukuyomi!

Your enchanted gift will be of no use to you. For I rose from Masokagami … I am the ruler of the night and the moon … I am Tsukuyomi!

I shall plunge all I despise into darkness! And within that black abyss, even your light shall flicker and fail.

Mit diesen Kräften kann ich alles und jeden auslöschen, und nicht einmal du wirst mich aufhalten!

With these powers I can obliterate everything and everyone, and not even you will stop me!

Come, let us cast the stalks and look upon the fate of Doma. I see a future in which the sun sets on this wretched land once and for all!

Ein weiterer Kampf auf Leben und Tod. Doch diesmal werde ich gewinnen! Domas Zukunft … ist die Nacht!

One more battle for life and death. But this time, I shall be victorious! Doma's future … is the night!

(Asahi) You really must learn to finish the job.

Wolltest du sie etwa schon wieder davonkommen lassen?

Did you intend to let her get away yet another time?

'Tis true that a gaudy mirror and a handful of crystals make for a feeble summoning, but even the weakest eikon is a god of sorts. A threat tha must be put down.

Sie war zwar nicht mehr als eine primitive Götze, hervorgezaubert aus einem alten Kojin-Spiegel und ein paar Kristallen – aber sie war doch eine Primae.

She may not have been more than a primitive idol, summoned from an ancient Kojin mirror and a few crystals – yet, she was still a primal.

My, my, such hostility! These beings are the sworn enemies of the Empire—I merely did my duty as imperial officer.

Sieh mich nicht so an. Sie musste sterben, das war dir doch klar. Die Primae sind eine Bedrohung für uns alle.

Don't look at me like that. She had to die – you knew that much. The primals are a threat to all of us.

Will you surrender to anger, then? Slay an anointed emissary to avenge a fallen foe?

Du willst mich töten, nicht wahr? Nur zu. Gib deinen Gefühlen nach. Töte mich! Aus Rache oder für die Gerechtigkeit! Streck mich nieder!

You want to kill me, isn't hat right? Go ahead. Give in to your feelings. Kill me! For vengeance or for justice! Strike me down!

You cannot, of course! To do so would burn the bridges we have labored so hard to build!

Dann ist der Friede für alle Zeiten begraben!

Do it and peace will lie buried for all time!

Ah, but I'm forgetting: they're already ash! This Doman woman has seen to that! The Empire cannot ally itself with any nation that refuses to renounce summoning. I believe I was most clear on that point!

Ach, ich vergaß … Doma hat das Abkommen ja schon gebrochen. Wie konntet ihr nur zulassen, dass eine Domanerin einen Primae beschwört?

Oh, I forgot... Doma already broke the agreement. How could you allow a Doman woman to summon a primal?

It should have been mine. (* see notes further down)

Eigentlich war es ja meine Berufung.

It was my vocation, really.

The power he bestowed upon her... I should have been the one to govern Doma! I would have repaid his faith!

Ich hätte Statthalter von Doma werden sollen. Unter meiner Herrschaft hätten wir die Provinzen nie verloren!

I should have become viceroy of Doma. Under my reign we would have never lost the province!

No one alive loves him more than I!

Nur mir stand es zu, Prinz Zenos' Willen auszuführen!

Only I was worthy of executing Prince Zenos' command!

Instead, this harlot betrayed his trust!

Zu nichts bist du zu gebrauchen! Gar nichts!

You're no use for anything! Absolutely nothing!

Useless...piece of...filth!

Du wertloses Stück Dreck!

You worthless piece of dirt!

Worthless whore!

Straßendreck!

Street dirt! (Note: There’s really no more direct way to translate this, as it’s another of those infamous German compound words. But if you really want to nitpick it you could probably interpret it as an insult to someone living or coming from a life on the streets.)

(Yotsuyu) Thank you, dear brother...for this precious gift. Vengeance.

Danke, Asahi … Ich danke dir.

Thank you, Asahi... I thank you.

These people...our people...they ignore the corruption which festers beneath the surface. Cast aside that which is dirty and broken. Speak not of things which would disrupt their dreary little lives.

Deine Demütigungen haben mir beigebracht, zu hassen … Du warst der erste Domaner, den ich hasste.

Your humiliations taught me how to hate... You were the first Doman I ever hated.

Like you, Asahi...always pretending not to see. You were the first...the first I swore to kill.

Dank dir konnte ich meine Rache nehmen, an dem niederträchtigen, verlogenen, schäbigen Doma.

Thanks to you I was able to seek revenge on the dastardly, lying, shabby Doma.

Ahhh...such bliss. I had thought my hunger insatiable...but now...now I am satisfied.

Ich dachte, mein Hass würde niemals enden … Doch jetzt …

I thought my hatred would never end... But now...

You should feel honored, dear brother. I saved the last of my strength just...for you.

Meine Rache ist getan … Du bist mein letztes Opfer …

My vengeance has been taken... You are my final victim...

What's the matter? The witch of Doma will soon be dead.

Du hast gewonnen. Ich sterbe und du lebst …

You won. I'm dying and you're alive...

(Warrior of Light) Gosetsu will mourn you.

Gosetsu wird um dich trauern.

Gosetsu will mourn you.

(Yotsuyu) He will mourn Tsuyu, perhaps...

Ach … der Herr Samurai ......

Ah... the lord samurai... ...

I wonder... Was the fruit as sweet...as he remembered...?

Kaki … E-Er aß so gerne Kaki …

Persimmon... H-he enjoyed eating persimmon so much...

(Asahi) Lord Zenos...

Ah … ah … Prinze Zenos …

Ah... ah... Prince Zenos...

(Asahi) Lord Zenos!

Eure Exzellenz!

Your Excellency!

I am at your disposal.

Ihr habt nach mir gerufen?

You called for me?

(Zenos?) Asahi. You were born in Doma, yes?

Asahi … Du kommst doch aus Doma, nicht wahr?

Asahi... You're from Doma, aren't you?

(Asahi) Yes, my lord! I am honored that you would remember me. How may I serve?

Ja, Eure Exzellent! Ich fühle mich geehrt, dass Ihr meinen Namen behalten habt. Womit darf ich Euch dienen?

Yes, your Excellency! I am honored you would remember my name. How may I serve you?

(Zenos?) You are hereby appointed ambassador plenipotentiary, and empowered to speak with the voice of the Emperor. Return to your native land of Doma, and announce your intention to sue for peace.

Ich ernenne dich hiermit zum bevollmächtigten kaiserlichen Gesandten. Reise nach Doma und nimm dort im Namen Garlemalds Friedensverhandlungen auf.

I am hereby appointing you imperial ambassador plenipotentiary. Travel to Doma and begin negotiations for peace in the name of Garlemald.

(Asahi) ...For peace?

Friedensverhandlungen …?

Negotiations for peace...?

(Zenos?) Once negotiations are underway, you are to locate the acting viceroy.

So ist es. Außerdem wirst du Statthalterin Yotsuyu ausfindig machen.

That's right. Additionally, you will find viceroy Yotsuyu.

(Asahi) She lives? That is to say—I will, my lord.

Meine Schwester lebt? Selbstverständlich. Wie Ihr befehlt, Eure Exzellenz.

My sister is alive? Understood. As you command, your Excellency.

(Zenos?) When you have found her, you will initiate a ritual to call forth an eikon. I will instruct you in the necessary steps.

Des Weiteren werde ich dich in die Geheimnisse der Götzenbeschwörung einweigen. Sobald du Yotsuyu gefunden hast, wirst du sie als Medium benutzen.

Furthermore I will instruct you on the secrets of summoning primals. As soon as you've found Yotsuyu, you will use her as medium.

Yotsuyu's faith is unreliable. But as a child raised to believe in the kami, she will serve as a vessel for one of the Kojin's gods. She need only wish it to be so.

Ihr Glaube ist zwar nicht stark genug für eine Beschwörung. Aber in ihrem Land gibt es unzählige von diesen Kami. Wenn man Yotsuyu ausreichend motiviert und dazu noch ein Artefakt der Kojin einsetzt, sollte sich einer rufen lassen.

Her faith may not be strong enough for a summoning. But in her country there's countless of those Kami. If one motivates her enough and additionally uses an artifact of the Kojin, it should be possible to call upon one of them.

The power will seem a gift, but the eikon's essence will consume her. She will be no more than a husk, a slave to whim and desire.

Natürlich wird die Gottheit sofort von ihr Besitz ergreifen. Die Starken haben nunmal die Angewohnheit, die Schwachen zu ihren Sklaven zu machen.

Naturally, the god will possess her. The strong just so happen to have a habit of making the weak their slaves.

(Asahi) My lord, ever since the day you saw fit to save my miserable life, I have dreamed of repaying your benevolence. Upon my honor, I swear to devote myself wholly to your service. All that you command will be done, no matter the cost.

Eure Exzellenz. Seit dem Tag, an dem Ihr mich vor den Aufständlischen gerettet habt, träume ich schon davon, Euch zu dienen. Ich bin zutiefst dankbar, nun diese Gelegenheit zu erhalten.

Your Excellency. Ever since the day you saved me from the insurgents, I have dreamed of serving you. I am immensely greatful to now be given this opportunity.

B-But...I fear the subtleties of your plan yet elude me. From the reports I have heard, the champion who aids the Doman resistance would make short work of a single eikon...

Aber die Domaner haben einen Helden in ihren Reihen, der schon zahllose Götzen vernichtet hat. Wird er nicht auch diesmal siegen?

But there's a hero among the Domans who already slew countless of idols. Wouldn't he be victorious this time as well?

(Zenos?) The eikon is merely a message. The pacifist teachings of the Populares spread through this city like a plague, and I would remind the people of the threat we face.

Mein Ziel ist ein ganz anderes. Wie du weißt, wollen die Popularen Frieden zwischen Garlemald und Doma.

My goal is another entirely. As you're aware, the Populares wish for peace between Garlemald and Doma.

You will be my chosen agent—the hand which tolls the warning bell. The salvation of this world will not be won through the signing of treaties.

Wir müsse den Weichlingen klarmachen, dass die Primae aus Doma eine Bedrohung sind. Nur wir können die Welt vor dem Untergang retten – mit Gewalt! Und du sollst mir dabei Helfen, als meine rechte Hand.

We need to make it clear to those sissies that Doman primals pose a threat. Only we can save the world from its demise – through violence! And you are to help me with this as my right hand. (Note: Yes, he calls them bloody softies and wusses.)

(Asahi) Your chosen agent!?

Als Eure rechte Hand?

As your right hand?

I will not fail you, my lord!

Zu Befehl, Eure Exzellenz! Es wird geschehen, wie Ihr wünscht!

As you command, your Excellency! So it shall be done!

Fun facts:

(*) For those who wonder what the hell is actually said now of these two things, here the japanese part in question: 本当は、俺がなるはずだったんだ。。。。俺が、ゼノス様の代理になって、ドマを統治するはずだったんだ！俺だったら失敗なんて、奪還なんてされなかった！ゼノス様の期時を背負うに相応しいのは、俺だけなんだよｵｼ! 

In truth, I was supposed to be... I was supposed to act on Zenos-sama’s behalf and rule Doma! I wouldn’t have failed and let it be recaptured! Only I am suitable of carrying out his orders!

No yandere,just another power hungry nutcase. Take my Japanese with a grain of salt though. But after the T9 incident making everyone English speaking think Nael was a dude although pretty much explicitly stated otherwise in other versions, I just like to look deeper ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[stories-aha-blog]

Pinocchio as a character

The Pinocchio of the original book by Carlo Collodi is a pretty simplistic, coarse character, who is somewhat vicious from the beginning on. Among other things, he kicks Gepetto as soon as his leg is formed, and kills the cricket in a bout of anger pretty much in their first interaction. (His talking conscience is represented the ghost of the cricket.)

The character of Pinocchio the German / Japanese anime series of 76 is a much more subtle and rich version of the original character.

The main difference is, that, while he can still undergo the occasional bout of anger, overall, he is a much more mellow and good willed character.

In many ways, he has traits that are characteristic for children. He gets distracted easily. He is not particularly keen on learning, gets distracted easily and loves dawdling away and going on the prowl. When he is absorbed by something, like when he first sees the puppet theatre, he will completely forget what he was meant to do (go to school). He can be such a busy body. (In the episode, where he got the golden watch, and keeps asking Gina (the cricket is replaced by a duck here, which is also a much more fleshed out and subtle character, and who acts has his actual real life friend) “do you know what time it is?”). When he is subject to an emotion, he is fully immersed in it. When he is scared, or creeped out, his limbs will tremble so heavily that they make a loud clapping sound (since he’s made from wood), and when he gets touched, he will cry without brakes, with heavy streams of tears rolling down his cheeks.

He loves to be the centre of attention, he loves to be on stage, loves to perform; whether it is on the stage of the puppet theatre, or dancing on the tables of the Inn. (Which the cat and the fox to lure him away from what he is meant to do.)

When he has the impulse to help other people, he will act on that as much as he acts on any other impulse, and when Gina then tells him how proud she is of what he did, he will come up with completely unrealistic plans on how he is going to do this all the time from now on.

When he gets caught, he tries to wiggle his way out by lying, as any child would. When his nose grows for the first time, he totally panics, also as any child would.

At the beginning of the story, he starts of naive, and becomes a little more street wise in the course of the story. Initially, the fox and the cat have an easy time conning and scaring him. At the same time, they quickly back off whenever he gets a rage, so that even from the beginning on, there isn’t a clear cut hierarchy with respect to physical strength between them. If anything, he is the physically stronger one. As the story progresses, this becomes less relevant, because they tend to end up more as the same party, or him helping them out, as opposed to the two of them playing him. Well, not entirely, but to some extent.

One of the most touching scenes is when himself and Gina trod along, after the fox and the cat have conned him out of his gold coins, with Pinocchio hanging his head, and Gina trying to cheer him up, until he finally turns around to her and says: “Du Gina ... Ich glaub ich bin dumm.” Only to start singing again a little while later.

Is Pinocchio courageous?

He can be super scared or freaked out or spooked, when he has to travel through a dark forest.

He can be surprisingly courageous, like in his interactions with the puppeteer.

(It’s in German, but you should be able to grasp the gist of it from the animation alone.)

The way he both trembles, and talks back to the puppeteer, in the first scene of the clip. And this after having woken him up, from trying (successfully) to run up to the ceiling and then falling to the ground with a loud noise time and again.

Pinocchio: “Also der hat doch immer was zu meckern. Der soll nachts schlafen wie alle anderen anständigen Leute auch.”

Gina: “Leg dich lieber nicht mit ihm an.”

Pinocchio: “Ist doch wahr, so ein Quatsch, er kann ja in einem anderen Wagen schlafen wenn ihn meine Übungen stören.”

Gina: “Du liebe Zeit Pinocchio, sei doch bloss ruhig.”

Pinocchio: “Hier drin ist viel zu wenig Platz, er ist viel zu dick für den Wagen.”

Puppeteer: “Zuerst Krach machen, und dann noch frech werden. Ich hab’s dir schon mal gesagt, wenn du ..., wirst du zu Feuerholz verarbeitet.

Pinocchio: “Immer drohen Sie mir damit, dass Sie mich in den Ofen stecken wollen. Dabei bin ich doch der Beste in Ihrer ganzen Truppe, wenn Sie mich nicht hätten, könnten Sie gleich zumachen.”

Or the way he kind of berates and instructs the puppeteer, after he released him after about 2/3ds of the clip.

Pinocchio: “Vielleicht finden Sie ja nochmal so einen Dummen der Ihnen hilft so viel Geld zu machen wie ich es habe.” “Versuchen Sie ein netter Mensch zu werden, auch wenn’s Ihnen schwer fällt.” “Und die blöde Peitsche werfen Sie am besten weg.” “Machen Sie’s gut Meister.”

And he can be impressively unimpressed, when things seemingly take a turn for the worse, like when he gets “enslaved” by the puppeteer, or when he has to perform as a donkey. (Which may be the one thing that makes me most root for him.)

He’s not a bully, but he isn’t a victim either. He doesn’t bare a grudge for long.

Is he independent, is he impressionable?

Well, kind of both.

He is really good at ignoring the voice of reason in the shape of Gina. At the same time, he can feel super proud when she commends him. Again, he is really impressive in the way he leaves the puppeteer with his funny but also somewhat spot on suggestions for becoming a better person, without really baring a grudge towards him.

Is he clever?

Overall, he isn’t the brightest. Although of course this has to be seen in the light that he was only just thrown into this world. He is naive, but at the same time, he can have good ideas of how to deal with a situation, if I remember well. He is easily distracted, but he can also get surprisingly absorbed by things, like when he first sees the puppets acting.

In this way, he is full of these apparent contradictions, which aren’t really contradictions, but simply a clever reflection of the complexity of a real life character, a bit like the texture of a water colour is a reflection of the texturedness of real life materials.

He is a subtle character, and at the same time, on the level of writing, he is quite an outstanding one.

In some ways, he is the archetypical boy; and at the same time, he feels like a total individual.

[allthecreepylittlethings]

Mein Teil: How an Internet Cannibal Inspired a Song

When it comes to controversy, Rammstein is no stranger. The German industrial metal band, who is actually more popular in the US than in Germany, has had a wide variety of songs that often cover dark subject matter as well as equally controversial videos to go along with them. From accusations of supporting Germany's dark history of Hitler's regime (they don't, by the way), to just general offense for the amount of nudity and sexual content they sometimes include in their videos, they tend to be an easy target for moral outrage. One of the difficult things about Rammstein is even if you get past the language barrier (assuming you're like me and are not fluent in German), there are times when, even translated, their songs can be interpreted in a number of ways leaving behind more questions than answers. And maybe that's the point, to force you to think, analyze, and draw your own conclusions. A lot of talented artists use this technique and forcing listeners to have to think is, in my opinion, one of the best contributions an artist can give to their audience.

There is, however, one particular song that is far more obvious in its subject matter and has a creepy story to go along with it. This is the true story behind "Mein Teil," which translates in English to, "My Part."

If you haven't heard this song, here's a link to the audio if you'd like to give it a listen first.

The lyrics of the song are through the eyes of a man who is willingly offering his body to a cannibal to be eaten:

"Heute treff' ich einen Herrn- Today I will meet a gentleman, Der hat mich zum Fressen gern- He likes me so much he could eat me up Weiche Teile und auch harte- Soft parts and even hard ones stehen auf der Speisekarte- Are on the menu..."

The song goes on with the willing victim describing the pride he's taking in the act and how happy he is just to be a part of it. There's also a line suggesting that he's being allowed a taste of himself and that he's enjoying it. As messed up as the scenario sounds, the idea wasn't just pulled out of thin air with the intention to shock for the sake of shock. This was actually a true story that did take place in Germany, and it all started with a disturbing ad posted on the internet.

Our story begins in 2001, when an ad was posted to a website called the Cannibal Cafe. The website, now defunct, was dedicated to those with a fetish for cannibalism and its users would either discuss their desire to indulge in eating another human, or share their stories of doing so and what their experiences were like. While there are many sites like this that are completely fake and intended to frighten anyone who happens to stumble upon them, the Cannibal Cafe was not one of those sites. It was all too real. The site has been shut down but is readily available on the Wayback Machine for the morbidly curious.

It goes without saying the warning on this page is warranted.

One of the most surprising aspects of the sites was this was not a community hidden in the deep web. This was a surface web page and easily accessible to anyone who wanted to find it.

The ad that began it all was posted by a user named "Franky," and was titled, "Search for Young Boys." In broken English and various typos, the ad stated, "If you are between 18 and 30 y/o and have you a normal build body, than come to me, i will butchering and eating your fine flesh. Please mail me your age, High and Wigth, and if you can with a pic." As disturbing as the ad is, probably worse is the fact that several men responded to it, all of them offering up their bodies for Franky to fulfill their own fantasies of being devoured. After screening through several candidates (upwards of 200), Franky found what he was looking for and invited the willing victim into his home.

"Franky," turned out to be a 42-year-old man from Germany named Armin Meiwes, and the man who would ultimately become his meal was a 36-year-old man named Bernd Brandes. Brandes, who was also from Germany, suffered from depression and, upon finding Meiwes' ad, felt he would be the right fit for the job. They exchanged emails for over a month, discussing the arrangements before finally setting a date.

(Left: Armin Meiwes. Right: Bernd Brandes.)

On March 9th of 2001, the pair met up at Meiwes' farmhouse where Brandes was fed sleeping pills and liquid cold medicine. Meiwes then set up a camera to record everything that followed. The act began with Meiwes cutting off Brandes' penis and broiling it. Brandes, who was still conscious, asked if he could try some for himself and Meiwes served him a piece, only for Brandes to complain that the consistency was too chewy to eat.

After this, Meiwes placed Brandes in a warm bath to bleed out while he read for over three hours and waited. Eventually, Brandes attempted to get up multiple times but collapsed from the amount of blood loss, ultimately leading Meiwes to stab him in the throat. After butchering the body, preparing it, and eating his fill, Meiwes packed away the rest of the meat and stored it away to be consumed later. However, an online friend of his later discovered he was placing new ads for more victims and alerted the authorities.

Inside of Armin Meiwes' house where the act took place.

By the time he was investigated, Meiwes had already consumed over 44lbs of Brandes' flesh and willingly confessed to what he had done, even stating that Brandes had tasted exactly like pork. Authorities uncovered what remained of the body inside a freezer as well as the video that had recorded the entire act. The video itself has never been made public and likely never will be, though some of the jury, as well as the journalists who had to watch it, reported needing therapy after to cope with what they had seen. Screenshots have allegedly popped up online since then, but their validity is questionable to say the least.

On January 30th of 2004, Meiwes was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to eight years in prison. However the prosecution appealed the conviction, stating that Brandes was not mentally sound, making him incapable to truly consenting to his killing, and that Meiwes should have been convicted of murder, not manslaughter. Meiwes underwent a retrail, this time receiving a murder conviction, and was sentenced to life in prison.

While criminal psychiatrists stated that Meiwes had a "schizoid personality," they found no signs of actual mental illness. Meiwes has since expressed his deep regret for the killing and claims he hopes to write an autobiography in order to encourage people like him to seek out help before it's too late. Reportedly, since his imprisonment, Meiwes has become a vegetarian.

When the members of Rammstein learned of this case and that there was an actual video taken of the crime, they wrote the song, "Mein Teil," and later hoped they could use footage from the tape to incorporate into their music video. Unsurprisingly, they were denied access which left them to their own devices. Ultimately, it led to them shooting a video in a warehouse where they were instructed to do whatever the director wanted, each not knowing what the other was doing, and having all of it eventually compiled into what became the music video. The end result is an even mixture of confusing and creepy:

Something worth noting about the video, the end scene where the band is being walked like a pack of dogs was likely inspired by a scene from the disturbing movie "Salo: The 120 Days of Sodom," in which the imprisoned victims of the film are forced to crawl naked, on all fours like dogs.

If you're wondering if you should see this movie, the answer is no. No you shouldn't.

Despite not being able to create the music video they would have liked, Rammstein has had live performances of the song that depict the subject matter a little more clearly. And, true to their style, it involves Flake doing something weird and Till having an excuse to use a flamethrower. It's definitely worth watching sheerly for the entertainment value and a way to lighten up this topic in general:

To add an extra layer of crazy to this story, Armin Meiwes attempted to sue the band, claiming they had no right to make a song about his story without his permission. As of writing this, there are no available details on the lawsuit, but given that the song and the music video have never been pulled, it's probably safe to assume it was either dropped or never made it to court.

For those interested, Rammstein has written other songs inspired by true stories that are well worth researching and I may cover another one in a future post. They are far from the only band out there to have done this, but this just happened to be one of my personal favorites.

Sources:

Profile: Cannibal Armin Meiwes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3443803.stm

German Cannibal Armin Meiwes: https://www.bizarrepedia.com/cannibal-armin-meiwes/

Armin Meiwes on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

Manslaughter Verdict for Cannibal: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3443293.stm

Rammstein Sued by German Cannibal: http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/rammstein-sued-by-german-cannibal/

Mein Teil (from the Rammstein Wiki): https://rammstein.fandom.com/wiki/Mein_Teil

[gedankenkollekte]

Some general thoughts that shouldn´t be forgotten English/Deutsch

[1] The taboo of not beeing allowed/meant to show that you also integrate your bad thoughts/fears/bad experiences as a repressed person into your sexuality. The web explodes of normative rape fantasies. normative sexual violence fantasies and sexuality based herrassment fantasys of the people known as ordinary while the relation of others and their daily life/bad experiences in sex seems tabooed, as if they shall be presented as only passive objects waiting for a normative instruction for ordinary sexual practise by a normative person.

I see a chance of immense energy by releasing the relation of pain and fear as a consequence of repression and beeing tabooed and sexuality. It has to contain a lot of power because it is as tabooed that no one dares to show it in public, not even in the web

——————

[2] Well I never understood these people focussing on genitals. It is for me as an outstanding person hard to follow, but surely maybe also mixed with confusion or feelings of being denied. I will never understand anyone saying “well you have a cock I can not become happy/content with you” or “well you have a small cock I can not becomme happy with you” or “you have white skin I can not become happy with you” or “you have two legs I can not become happy with you”, just following also the thoughts of Marxists that this reduces a persons body as also the person itself to a product/ware/good. It is a fetishism and this in several meanings. This seems normal in f.e. the gay scene and somehow I like that because it is political incorrect, but fair enough to say I am socially still not accepting it really or lets say do not feel comfortable with it because I recognize kind of a fashist thing inside. But this brings me back to the thought “were is the border” like you can somehow see fashism in any lookistic behavior and “love” if you do not draw a line somewhere. Hope you can follow and just to say this was just a spontaneous impression and more to also criticise myself not to praise the way how to judge. However I will not make a issue of it if people act like this in my presence even if they act towards me like this I would never confirm to have any kind of relation to anyone choosing people like this because I have much distance and even kind of disgust towards fetishists myself (just see my brainmachine working).

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[3] Its kinda fashion and I am sometimes bit disgusted of it because it is somehow just a filthy bodycolonialism like exploitation of repressed bodies and existances and blurring the meaning and existance of opression and the resulting importance of clear statements against it out of the mouth of the oppressed in most times as it is never good to let privilegued people project their non reflected decadent daydreams on the tabooed bodies of some non privilegued if you guess what I mean, but I liked the rest of the mag and could stand these pictures also.

Hopefully the fact of the widespreaded instrumentalisation of exotisized bodies will lead into a better and sharper distinguishing and accentuation of the activist outputs to not disappear in the flood of the meaningless and thoughless “art pieces” which are spammed around in each actual medium. The flood itself is nothing that new, it has just increased. When I was looking for activist statements and art a decade ago, most stuff seen on f.e. myspace which seems to be legit on the first look was generally connected to some not so important or political ordinary homo lifestyle stuff, what was for me, hard to stand that time. This is also why I somehow act in a way of separation and distinction towards all this, it seems often led by some cries just for cheap attention or stimuli by anyone.

-------------------

[4] Well, I can not stand the claim of a positive change in societies. The practise of wrong assignments is taking place anywhere in the world still.

We live in hostile societies and it is more than just a state where some rubbish tossers are illegaly mocking some chicks on the streets. There are laws anywhere that successfully prevent anyone´s participation in society as an active member if born as a wrong assigned person. Not even the little prominents are to my point of view, it is an artificial wall built between “us” and “the others” by the duty of beating each child into the wrong role and prohibiting to live and develop self-evidently as all other childs do just by some fucked up laws, which evidently no one sees as a big problem. Worse, people focus on some fashion chitchatting of some gutless hipster chicks and the majority of society saying “we have no prejudice, we treat these people normal nowadays” as if that would mean anything.

In such hostile situation and society, anything than supporting the political emancipation and any idea and attempt to change these brutal bodyfashist laws is clear repression and mostly exploiting people´s problems and tabooisation as a consequence of these laws for cheap attention or the fake suggestion to support the necessary critics and formation of a resistance movement that yet has not taken place (and don´t know if ever will if not anyone of us will radically launch it).

So don´t let us speak more about the suggestion of any positive change as long as you only see the same right assigned faces smiling on each newspaper, fashion mag, cinema movie cover, political booklet and advertisment flyer or product while there is no couple, not even the hardboilest (except maybe L. & me) going out holding hands in any city. This can´t be positive or nice. Fuck these fashion hypocrates in the web and fuck modern societies´ new coat of sanctimony.

[5] Mein Fazit aus meinen Erfahrungen ist, wir brauchen eigene, unabhängige, nicht zensierende Kanäle und Medien. Am Ende erzählen sie in den Mainstream-Medien immer von dir als “dem Mann, der zur Frau wurde” auf irgendeine Weise und schüren auch sonst genau die Vorurteile, die man eig. vor der Kamera abbauen wollte.

[6] Man sollte echt nicht stolz sein, einer Randgruppe von Merkmalstragenden anzugehören, die höchstens im Pornosektor, UnterschichtTV-Formaten oder mit billiger Popmusik Fuß fassen kann irgendwo in der Welt oder als “Miss Sondertitel jedenfalls nicht Miss Frau irgendwas sondern Miss Missgeburt irgendwas” wenn ihr wisst was ich meine, dabei aber sich selbst als weiblich definiert, Der erste Schritt aus der Sklaverei besteht darin, die Sklaverei zu benennen und von sich zu weisen, nicht sie dankend anzuerkennen.

use an online translator to comprehend the texts in your favorite language.

Wenn ihr kein Englisch versteht, einfach mal in die Übersetzungsmaschine damit...

[xsecretblastsx]

1x13 - The thin line between Chuck and Nate

That’s a really long tittle for an episode. I wasn’t planning on doing this recap today, but I’m anxious and I needed some distraction, and so here we are.

This is quite the episode. I apologize in advance about the length of this recap. So here we go.

Thougths i had while watching the episode:

Not that it can be forgotten but the opening scene of this episode is such a reminder of how stalkerish the gossip girl site is

I had totally forgot about Jenny, like now that I think about it I didn’t even notice she wasn’t on the last couple of episodes, wow.

I actually laughed at Dan’s and Rufus stunned silence.

Somehow Dan I don’t believe you love Serena, I believe you think so, but that’s not the same as actually loving someone.

I’m not expert in the Queen bee and her clique hierarchy, but it’s says a lot about her that Jenny actually tries to stand up herself, like if you think about it she’s a freshman, and not even from the UES and she’s already really set on stating her place. 

Plot twist: the test was for Blair, dun dun dun

We have seen it before, but this is the first time we actually start to see the extent of Blair’s ability for going into denial mode, and Serena explains it masterfully, so much that “the movie playing in Blair’s head about her life” it’s something I’ve seen a lot since I first watched this show to describe some of Blair’s anticts through the show.

Maybe I’am a total bitch, have you thougth about that? It’s one my fave Blair’s lines.

Blair and Nate having a nice cute moment, while Chuck watches in the shadows, and Blair is just like sorry not sorry, auch.

I honestly don’t understand why Jenny is so surprised Blair is never going to really like her, like she said she has spend the last six months on it, being a minion, what did she expect, Blair is not nice, and that comes across, like two minutes after meeting her.

I love Serena’s gold coat, not that I blame her, but she gave up really fast.

Like even ignoring the fact that Jenny was eavesdropping, I’m not a fan of Serena telling Dan that, at least not the Blair part.

Jenny’s face is like “wow this is the gossip of the decade” hilarious.

Serena saying “he does have a this weird influence over her” is a very telling line about them. 

I’ve realized that while I like his characters, Rufus storylines are really boring when they are not related to Lily.

Chuck’s outfts in S1 were something else, not in a good way. 

Serena being all like damn, had I known that I wouldn’t have told you this. I feel bad or fher, because It’s one of those cases were having good intentios and helping your friends actually makes everything worse. 

“I command myself not to be pregnant” have I’ve mentioned I love Blair?

“I would have no idea what to wear to a paternity hearing” this line would never be hilarious, and Serena if it wasn’t for pre natal DNA tests, you probably would have picked that outif.

“So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember” that was harsh Blair, and I’m not justifying what Chuck does next, but I’ve always felt that for knowing him like she did, it was naive of her to believe he wouldn’t retaliate.

That scene of Blair waliking down the stairs while everyone gossips about her is so well done, the visuals, the voices around her, you really feel it, and feel for her.

Jenny spilling the beans to Nate, really steppingi in the game now.

That was a fight that was a long time coming since 1x07, and I love this scene, it’s interesting that Nate is mad, and probably hurt, and yet is Chuck the one that looks really hurt by it in the end of the scene.

Again, I understand why Nate is mad, but considering he actually cheated on Blair with Serena, he cames across as being a really hypocrite in his fight with Blair.

I love Serena, but she’s like immediately jumping on Dan and Jenny’s defence, without even really listening to Blair, not trying to understand why she’s upset. Of course Blair being Blair retaliates, but on this case she’s actually not wrong in what she says to Serena, it’s just brutally honest.

I loved the stand off’s between Blair and Jenny, they’re epic. As of now, Jenny 1, Blair 0.

I really love Serena’s outfit this episode.

No Dan! You don’t get to dictate when and if someone tells you they love you back, Like sorry, but putting that pressure on someone is not okay at all. Storming out in anger, is just... wrong.

That scene of Blair just wandering the streets, reminiscing about Nate and Chuck is so sad, and it’s probs also the first time since Cotillion, that she allows herselft to think on the fact that she has feelings for Chuck too. 

I like to mention that the Nate memory is a heartbreaking moment in their history, she’s crying. Her Chuck memory in the other hand is the moment that started it all, and exciting moment. The difference.  Great choice of music by the way.

One of my favorite aspects of S1 were the heart to heart convos between Serena and Eric. He’s such a wise kid.

What’s with Chuck’s outfits this episode. I hate that sweater. 

This scene is so hard to watch, Chuck’s words to Blair are horrible, so much that it’s hard to remember why he’s so mad and hurt, so one is like f*ck you Chuck,  and the way Blair reacts, and how hurt she is by his words, makes it easy to forget that she had dismissed his feelings, treated him like her dirty little secret and called him a mistake. 

Blari and her mom having a moment, always gets to me.

I love that scene between the girls of the steps and Jenny, you can really see her becoming a mean girl, and it gets even better when Penelope says “Blair trained you well”, cause this Jenny in many ways is indeed a Blair creation. 

“I love you because you make no apologies for being exactly who you are” Sorry Dan but I don’t believe you when you say that.

This is one of my favorite Serena and Blair moments ever,  No matter what they have each other, and have a lot of love between them, even if they forget about it from time to time.

So.. what an episode. People mostly remember it as the episode where the love triangle between Nate-Blair-Chuck explodes, but it’s also the episode that really puts Jenny in the road to Queen B, there’s also a lot about Blair and Serena’s friendship and it’s the episode where Dan and Serena say I love you to each other, quite the ride in plots. I’ll save my thougths on Jenny for the next episodes because if I remember correctly those focus a lot on her Blair and the road to queendom.

This is suposed to be a sweet episode for Dan and Serena, and for the most part it is, they’re there for each other, have cute dates, and Dan’s struggle to say I love you to Serana it’s almost endearing and then it comes to the moment Dan manages to sayI love you, and Serena doesn’t say it back. It’s obviously a distressing moment to say the words and not get them back, and I get it can be particularly difficult for Dan because he sees Serena as a girl that it’s so out of his league that really, why would she love him. And yet I hate his reaction. He storms out in anger, and tells her how is not okay for her to react that way. I guess I wouldn’t have much of an issue (i’m actually pretty sure I didn’t think much of it the first time I watched this) if I didn’t knew that he always reacts badly when Serena doesn’t act like he wants her to. 

I loved the fact that the show, makes a point to establish why Serena has a difficult time with the words I love you, her little talk with Eric was so nice because like the last episode references the way Lily’s chaotic love life damaged her children. I do wish we spend a bit more time on this issues, because I feel having Serena said I love you to Dan right back after his “this is why i love you speech” (which by the way sound hollow given what I’ve already know) it was a tad to soon and it cheapens a bit her difficulties, like if they were easy to get over, and not something that she has to work through, I would have prefered if her I love you came some episodes later, not necesarilly after dramatic struggling that’s not Serena, but rather after her realizing she can trust Dan and seeing for herself he loves her (I know, i know).

Now, the pregnancy scare, the way this episode flows is really good, it keeps you on your seat and starting out with the little plot twist about the pregnancy not being for Serena and instead is for Blair really sets the tone. I love how from the very beginning it shows how Serena is there for Blair, how she takes the bullet for her by gettingh photographed buying the test, it also shows how really well she know Blair, the line a about Blair living in the movie in her head is so good, we learn more about Blair and how it falls on Serena to help her deal with reality. When the shit hits the fan, Blair lashes against Serena, and this is the kind of situation where I can see where Blair’s coming from particularly when Serena defends Dan and Jenny, because to Blair she’s putting them above her, and the fact that Serena trusted in them and defends that trust hurts, Serena doesn’t seem to understand at first why Blair sees this scandal as the end of the world, and when Blair’s points out that she doesn’t get it because things are different for Serena and she already ruined her reputation, Serena gets offended, and I get it, Blair was recalling a part of Serena’s life she had left behind, and she doesn’t need the reminder, so she leaves. 

It does ironically proves Blair point, because at the start of the episode yes people talk about Serena, but when she says she’s not pregnant, everyone’s like ok whatever, the girls on the steps are like great let’s get drinks to celebrates, Blair on the other hand get’s dethroned for the same pregnancy scare and for sleeping with two guys... the consequences are not the same for the both of them, and Serena doesn’t understands it at first and reacts to Blair’s meltdown like Blair just being Blair, when she finally gets it she goes after her and convinces her to stay and not run away, giving us one of the nicest scenes of their friendship, their bond and their love for each other.

Another interesting bit about the episode is how we see Serena trying and tyring to help Blair one way or the other, she tries so hard that she makes questionable decisions that in the long run actually have undesirable consequences, however this only happens because Blair keeps being so obnoxious about it, and if  she hadn’t been in complete denial Serena wouldn’t have talked about with Dan and Chuck, which ends up with the whole affair exposed. This is a pattern that repeats during the whole episode having Blair  pushing and pushing people to the limits of their tolerance . We see Blair going over Jenny in full Queen B mode, whichs mades Jenny snap, tired about it and ends up with her telling Nate the whole truth. Same with Chuck,  this episode she actually refers to him as a mistake she doesn’t even remember, and since she has  been very dismissive of his feelings so far, so he snaps and sends the tip to gossip girl. So we have Blair suffering the consequences of her actions, and the fact that the show does this, it’s the reason that no matter how bitchy or mean she gets, she always ends up having to deal with the results of that, which helps her grow in the long run and us love her.

Finally, the love triangle. So Nate and Blair 2.0 end up being very short lived. Now I’m not a fan of Nate this episode, mostly his treatment of Blair. He was a shitty boyfriend, who cheated on her with her best friend, not only that but the way he reveals it to her and continues to pine after Serena long after it, not breaking up with her mainly to help his father, and they actually broke up because he didn’t love her, so he’s real a hypocrite when he says “Guess when we were talking about leaving the past behind we were talking about yours, not mine” and it’s not the same, you cheated she didn’t, and yet he drops her without a second thought, not considering how forgiving she was of him in the past. So in that sense, good riddance Nate.

On the other hand, Nate’s anger with Chuck is justified, because like I said about the Serna and Nate hook up in redgards to Blair, girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever and you expect loyalty of them, and sure Blair and Nate had already broke up, but it’s not like you expect your best friend to hook up with your ex the minute the relationship is over. So i get, I do find interesting that Nate seems more angry than hurt with Chuck, and I think he doesn’t feel as hurt because he doesn’t really love Blair, and so his anger comes from the fact that he believes Chuck sleeping with Blair was just Chuck being Chuck, and he can’t quite believe it when Chuck ends up pointing out that  Nate ignored Blair and how instead he was actually there for her, and I feel this is part of the reason Chuck’s look so hurt at the end of their fight, because not only did Nate ends their friendship but he’s very dismissive and quite can’t believe that Chuck may have cared from Blair somewhat. 

That’s the scenario Blair walks into when she goes to talk to Chuck. He’s really hurt, because he not only lost his best  friend, the one person that he had always openly cared for, and he lost him because of the relationship he had with Blair, who had been nothing but dissmisive of him for quite some time now, who at best treated him as her dirtly little secret, even when he admitted to feel something and had nice details with her, like the necklace he gave her, he put himself out there as much as his emotinal stunned self could at that time and it was all for nothing, she saw him as nothing but a mistake.It’s not that I’m taking his side per se, but Season one it’s the one I do tend to think Blair had a bigger part in how things got to that point, in many ways she was mean to him just because, he was mostly reacting to her actions, the thing about Chuck though is that whenever Blair does something bad to him, he ends up retaliating 100 times worst. 

I feel he does this to level the ground between and end ups going overboard because it’s the way he takes control back over the situation, particularly in the first two seasons, when hasn’t come to terms completely with what he feels for her, he doesn’t know how to handle it on a good day, even less so when he hurts because of her. So on this episode what he says to her is horrible, he basically slut shames her, the whole episode is a tale about that, and that’s just awful, honestly had Chuck not said that I would be totally on his corner on this one, as it is I can’t and I just sigh in frustration. He was hurt yes, but he ends up hurting Blair as badly if not more, for all her witty combacks and bitchiness she halts, not able to say anything back and she just looks so hurt, to the point that she ends up in her mother’s arm crying and wanting out, and sure it’s the combination of everything that want’s her to go away, but it’s Chuck’s words that put her over the edge because she wasn’t expecting that from him,before all of this they were partners in crime, friends in a weird way different from their friendship with Serena and Nate and also because she’s suprised it actually hurts her that much.

Here’s the thing, my own “theory” on this, when I did the recap for 1x07 I’ve mentioned this is the moment he realizes he’s in love with ther, he may not go as far as to called it that, but he know he feels something, being probably lowkey feeling it for quite sometime, and that to him is monumental. That’s Chuck’s moment. This episode to me is Blair’s moment. When I think of the moment she realizes she is in love with him is either this, or in that week before S2. But I’m way more inclined to believe it’s this one, when he breaks her heart. Especially because she breaks up again with Nate this same episode at a point when she believed the best of their relationship is yet to come, and she doesn’t seem as bad after talikng to him as she did after talking to Chuck. I also believe this because like I mentioned earlier in the scene when she thinks about both of them, she thinks of Nate in one of their saddest moment, when basically Nate says you either let go of the fact I cheated on you, or we end this, and when she thinks of Chuck she remembers their time in the limo, it’s an interesting contrast almost as if her subconcious was telling her, forget Nate that ended up a long time ago, what happened with Chuck however was amazing, do you really want to give it up? And it’s after that scene that she goes looking for him, only to find out, he doesn’t want her anymore. I also feels it paints a  kind of interesting contradiction, Chuck realizes he loves her on such a incredibly happy moment, she realizes she loves him in a really sad moment, like oh shit! I’m in love with Chuck Bass, and it fits with the star of the story, he’s after all the one that goes after her first, and truth is, since that day he never really let’s her go.

Random bits I’ve noticed:

This was filmed in december, that scene where Serena is telling Dan that she’s not pregnant, behind them you can see a lot of poinsettias.

Blair’s wearing Jeans for a bit during this episode, that’s like sighting the yeti.

The song they used throught this episode but most notably in the scene where the blast about Blair reaches everyone is called “The Dark side of Indoor Track Meets” by Captiva, and the full song is weirdly interesting, like the last part of the song is really creepy. 

I love the song they used when Blairs is thinking about Nate and Chuck. It’s called “The air we breathe” by the figurines.

[pochemuchca-blog]

Social Activism in Austria

Deutsch:

Soziales Engagement in Österreich- wie viele Möglichkeiten gibt es? Aus eigener Erfahrung kann ich sagen: viel mehr als man ursprünglich vermuten würde. Großteils durch Zufall und Interesse, teilweise durch gezielte Werbe- und Rekrutierungsaktionen bin ich in die Szene hineingezogen worden, die mein Leben bis heute stark prägt. Ich möchte euch die zwei Projekte und Organisationen vorstellen, bei denen ich lange tätig war beziehungsweise immer noch regelmäßig tätig bin, um einen kleinen Einblick in das große Angebot zu geben:

#1 Das Rote Kreuz wird in Österreich meist mit Blaulicht und Krankenwagen assoziiert. Tatsächlich ist der Rettungsdienst der wohl größte Zuständigkeitsbereich des Österreichischen Roten Kreuzes- anders als in vielen anderen Ländern, wo die Organisation vor allem im sozialen Bereich tätig ist. Was viele nicht wissen ist, dass das Rote Kreuz viel mehr zu bieten hat als nur die Ausbildung zum Sanitäter, der im Rettungsauto fährt. Neben dem Jugendrotkreuz, welches sich auf die Ausbildung von Kindern und Jugendlichen zu Ersthelfern spezialisiert und auch ein umfangreiches Angebot an sozialen Projekten aufweist, kann man ab einer festgelegten Altersgrenze und absolvierter Ausbildung auch in der Krisenintervention, der Bergrettung oder sogar in der Rettungshundestaffel tätig werden! Es gibt auch Möglichkeiten, selbst überlegte Projektideen mit logistischer und finanzieller Hilfe des Roten Kreuzes umzusetzen! Des Weiteren gibt es Projekte wie „time4friends“, die gerade für junge Erwachsene im Alter von 14 bis 20 Jahren ausgelegt sind, die ernst genommen werden möchten und bereit sind, viel Eigenverantwortung zu übernehmen. Auch die „Team Österreich Tafel“ ist sehr interessant- war aber erst einmal schnuppern ; ) Ich selber bin jetzt bereits seit 6 Jahren beim Jugendrotkreuz tätig, habe an einigen Kursen teilgenommen und mitgeholfen, Rot-Kreuz bezogene Events an meiner Schule umzusetzen. Mehr Informationen zum Österreichischen Roten Kreuz findest du hier: https://www.roteskreuz.at/jugend/jugendgruppen/ (Rote Task-Leiste nicht übersehen!)

#2 Die youngcaritas ist die Nachwuchsorganisation der bekannten Hilfsorganisation Caritas, die in Österreich vor allem im sozialen Bereich tätig ist. Sie ist die optimale Möglichkeit für Jugendliche und junge Erwachsene, die keine Zeit oder Lust haben, sich für ein regelmäßig stattfindendes Programm anzumelden, sondern lieber flexibel und ungebunden bleiben möchten. Nachdem man sich online für das „actionpool“ angemeldet hat, bekommt man (in der Regel) alle paar Wochen eine Email mit verschiedenen Angeboten zugeschickt. Diese sind sehr verschieden und reichen von der Mithilfe in der Suppenküche oder dem Ausmalen von einem Frauenwohnheim bis hin zu Kursen zu Themen wie „Armut in Österreich“ und anderen Schulungen (die teilweise sogar im Ausland stattfinden). Da bei fast jeder Aktion verschiedene Leute mitmachen ist es außerdem eine gute Möglichkeit, Gleichgesinnte kennenzulernen und neue Freunde zu finden während man etwas für andere tut. Es gibt auch (wie beim Roten Kreuz) einige Aktionen wie „72 Stunden ohne Kompromiss“, bei denen ganze Klassen oder gar Schulen eingebunden werden können. Mehr dazu findest du hier: https://www.youngcaritas.at/

Greenpeace, Die Roten Nasen und Amnesty International sind auch ein paar sehr bekannte Organisationen, bei denen freiwillige Helfer gefragt und gesucht sind. Wer besonders viel Mut hat, kann auch bei der Freiwilligen Feuerwehr oder bei der Feuerwehrjugend (ja, die gibt’s auch) tätig werden. Schlussendlich finde ich, dass es doch einen großen Unterschied macht, ob man sich durch eine Organisation oder auf eigene Faust sozial engagiert. Letzteres ist doch die persönlichere, tiefgreifendere Art, bei der man am meisten lernt (und auch am meisten Fehler macht haha). Zum Thema „Eigeninitiative“ schreibe ich aber einen eigenen Eintrag- Stichwort Sankt Gabriel. Schon gespannt? ; )

English:

Activism and community service in Austria- how many options are there? Speaking from experience, I can say that there are more than you might think. Partly through coincidence and interest, partly through recruitment campaigns, I have become involved in the scene which has so deeply shaped my life. I would like to give you a small taste of the many opportunities which stand open to you by introducing you to two organizations in which I have been involved for a long time (and still am involved):

#1 The Red Cross is mostly associated with ambulances, flashing lights and sirens in Austria. And indeed- different than in most countries, emergency medical service constitutes by far the biggest field of responsibility of the Austrian Red Cross. What most people don´t know is that this well-known organization has much more to offer than just the instruction as a paramedic. Apart from the Red Cross Youth, which is specialized in training children and teenagers to act quickly in case of emergency and instructing them in First Aid, it is possible for adults to participate in First Aid courses or even to be trained as crisis interventionists, alpine paramedics and so on (the age of admission to these activities varies from course to course). There are also many possibilities to get socially active with the Red Cross- projects like “time4friends” are perfectly cut out for young, ambitious teenagers (from the age of 14 and on) who want to be taken seriously and are ready to accept responsibility or the “Team Österreich Tafel” for activists of all ages who don´t want to see food being wasted. Furthermore, there is a possibility to implement one´s own ideas with logistical and financial support of the Red Cross. I myself have been active as a member of the Red Cross Youth for more than 6 years now, have taken part in many courses and have helped to organize some Red-Cross-Events at my school. Sounds cool? ; ) Find more information about the Red Cross here: https://www.roteskreuz.at/jugend/jugendgruppen/ (mind the red task-panel!)

#2 The youngcaritas is the lesser known youth movement of the famous “Caritas”, an organization which is most active in social welfare. This is the perfect opportunity for teenagers and young adults who want a flexible option for social activism that does not involve regular meetings or permanent commitment. After signing up for the “action-pool” online, emails are sent to you on a semi-regular basis (every few weeks) with a few options (painting a refugee-residence, taking a walk with senior citizens, cooking in a soup kitchen etc.) to which you can sign up (or not). There are usually also a few courses and instruction seminaries to topics such as “Poverty in Austria”. Because there are many irregular actionpoolers and it is uncommon to meet a fellow actionpooler more than twice (unless you have decided to participate together), it is also a very interesting way to meet new people from different cultural backgrounds and, of course, also a good way to learn German and become accustomed to Austrian lifestyle and society. There are also (as at the Red Cross) activities that a whole class or even school can participate in (“72 hours without compromise / 72 Stunden ohne Kompromiss”). Find out more about the youngcaritas and sign up for the actionpool here: https://www.youngcaritas.at/

Greenpeace, “Die Roten Nasen” and Amnesty International are also well-known organizations that are looking for motivated activists and volunteers. If you are looking for a thrill and are especially brave, you can also check out the “Freiwillige Feuerwehr” (“Voluntary Firefighters”) and their youth organization. In the end, I like to volunteer through organizations, but it is definitely a different experience than organizing a grassroots initiative of your own. The latter is a much more personal experience from which you can learn a lot (by making many mistakes haha). But I want to devote a separate blog post to the topic “grassroot initiative”- I´ll leave you with the teaser “Sankt Gabriel”. Curious? Read more next time ; )

[xsecretblastsx]

1x11 - Roman Holiday

Happy Christmas Everybody! Or rather I’m trying to delude myself into thinking it’s winter because it’s awfully hot in here. Too bad the episode only lasts like 40 minutes. Anyway here’s the recap.

This one didn’t get as long as the last ones, but I’ll use the keep reading break anyway because it’s a bit more neat for everyone.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

The Constance choir, oh how I miss it.

 I have a coat really simliar to the one’s Jenny’s wearing, mine’s probably cheaper though. 

Global Warming Grinch! what a surprise Dan’s complaining about something yei!

Here comes Vanessa raining on Serena’s parade! Auch. I never really know with her, because she seems nice and sincere and everything, but doesn’t she realize how uncomfortable this is for Serena? She doesn’t acts like Dan’s best friend, she acts like the soul mate or something like that.

I had almost forgotten about Bart Bass, if only. It’s not like Bart knows the actual meaning of the words “I’m in love with you” but I do ser her point on this Lily, ugh. I can’t believe I typed that.

I really like Blair’s outif the perfect mix between school uniform and holiday spirit. Also, I love her, but what with the long face at hearing Chuck is at Monaco? She dump him, so she shouldn’t care.So.. no,  Nothing that she needs to know.

It’s sweet the amount of traditions Blair had with her dad, no wonder she wants him to move back to New York

I’ll never understand this show’s obsession with Dan’s cabbage patch doll.

Blair bear! I had totally forgot about that aww.

That look Blair share’s with her mom, haha “you don’t say what a suprise indeed”

Auch, I was vaguely wondering though in which episode Dan’s mom leaves again, not that I particularly care but I guess is this one

I know shows tape earlier than the season they’re suposed to be, but the park looks so autumm-y for Christmas, is taking me out of the mood. But since I don’t live in New York what do I know.

Blair’s skating outfit thoug, an all time fave.

I had totally forgotten Eleanor had a love interest this episode.

I mean to be fair, that watch is the kind of gift Serena would have made any boyfriend she had because it’s the kind of stuff she’s used to, and I feel for her because she was so excited, I do get where Dan’s coming from, it’s probably the same thing I would said in that situation, but aww Serena.

Again, Vanessa seems nice but, not cool girl.

Blair’s face at Chuck’s text was hilarious, though she shouldn’t be as surprised, Chuck’s pervy on a good day, and she sort of burned him. Not a good combo.

Blair Waldorf in action, sorry Roman.

I’ll never understand why Blair would ask Chuck to  don’t speak to anyone about them, like honey letting him know you want to keep that secret, is giving him levarage. 

Not a fan of having a scene were Serena is like “i came with my tail between my legs, please Vanessa help me to find Dan a gift” and even worse Vanessa is like “I would gloat, but I like you” that’s sorta gloating anyway, ugh. 

Victoria’s Secret themed Christmas party, only on gossip gir.

Rufus and Lily, acting like scaredy cats teenagers.

“Friends doesn’t steal other friends husband” you tell him Eleanor.

This loos “so promising” for  Blair, so Nate said he would go to her mom’s Christmas party, except he didn’t and nowshe’s  tracking him down because he didn’t bother telling her. Same old story.

Blair spelling it out to Vanessa, and for once I think she wasn’ wrong in what she said. Also I love it when Blair is looking out for her friends.

Honestly I would react exactly as Serena and Eric if my mom dropped on me the bomb that she’s dating Bart Bass. That’s scary.

For once I’m liking Eleanor, also she’s dead right, Blair learned scheming from her mother, unrealistic dreaming from her father. Quite the combo. That’s why I lover.

Gotta love Lilly helping Dan to get that tree inside.

I mean considering I’ve seen the whole show, sorry Howard, but your words sound a bit hollow.

Ok, Serena’s gift for Dan was nice.

Dorota’s themed aprons are such a nice little detail. 

Ngl, it mades me sad seeing Bart doing more of an effor with Lilly’s kids and never really bothering with Chuck.

Imagine if Lilly had answered the phone.

That photo of Nate looking like they’re in the Caribbean when they’re supposedly in Monace would never not be hilarious

Normally this is the part where I rant and rant about the episode, but this time I just dont’ have that much to say. I know a lot of people love this episode a lot, but I’m just not one of them, I didn’t fight it particularly memorable on first watch, and now on rewatch even less so, this episode is heavily focused on Derena and the end of the Humphrey marriage, and I don’t really care about either of those things. The only thing I really find interesting about this episode was Harold’s visit,, but on this episode for some reason Blair’s storyline felt like a B plot, that’s probably just me, but l’m finding out that episodes with a lot of Derena feel like such a drag to me now. I almost wish I could care about them again, if only for this season.

So, Blair’s dad. I’ll get it out of the way soon, I’m not a fan. He may have been the loving parent while Blair grew up, but I don’t feel he really knows her, not the way Eleanor does, and I’m not even talking about her dark side, but as Eleanor pointed out, how could he thought she would be glad he had brought over the man he left for when it was supposed to be them enjoying the holiday.

We were told on the Thanksgiving episode that that was suposed to be his first visit after moving to France, and I mentioned there that it sounded like Blair hadn’t seen her father in a long time, which isn’t nice.I feel Harold never really grasped how much he hurt his daughter when he left for France, it was a lot to take for a 16 year old girl who was a total daddy’s girl. First, there’s the separation of her parents, then the fact that her dad is gay, those two were quite a lot, and then he’s like oh I’ll move to France. I’m sure part of the reason Harold stuck in out in his marriage was Blair, and he shouldn’t have to hide who he is and keep married to Eleanor, but I think he could have thought about it and delayed his moving to France. Like Eleanor said this episode Blair might like to act like an adult, but she was at this point still very much a girl in need of her dad.

And this episode he may have said there would always be a place on his life for Blair no mather what, but it was never the same, I mean last episode was Cotillion, and Blair didn’t have any of her parents there, it was probably Dorota the one that was exicted for her, taking pictures and everything. I guess we’re supposed to think she probably talked frequently with her dad over the phone, but I feel in many ways it was mostly a superficial relationship, like I never got the impression Harold went out of his way to see his daughter. But I could be wrong.

The other bit I would like to mention is that not long ago I got an ask about what do I think Blair cared about Chuck not being into town this episode, having watched the episode again now, and I said:  i feel she believed it’s always wise to keep and eye of Chuck and be wary of his intentions, gods knows what he’ll plot just for fun, and now they share history, a secret one at that so she has reason to be cautious, considering the message he sends her at the end of the episode she wasn’t wrong. And while I still think it had a lot to do with that, I do feel having her ask him not to spill the beans, wasn’t the smartest choice, I guess she was banking on him not using it as leverage because they’re are friends and because he had let her know at one point he had felt something, it’s what I call wishfull thinking. 

On a more subconcious level I think she simply wanted to know because well she’s into him. She likes him. She ends their fling out of anger and it’s part that anger that leds her back to Nate, (and it also trills her that after so long Nate wants her, he’s going after her, not Serena). Of course at this point she’s not about to admit even to herself whatever she feels for Chuck, not only because she’s back on track with her so planned life but because well… he’s Chuck Bass, but that doesn’t mean she’s not atracted to him still.

Random bits I would love to mention

The one shot I’m writing (and hopefully finishing one of these days) is actually set between last episode and this one. Not that it wasn’t hard to guess, but I’m glad I got Nate’s location right.

Funny but like a week ago Buzzfeed shared this bit about the watch Serena gave Dan, turns’s out it costs about $25,000. 

“All the grace of Nancy Kerrigan but packing the punch of Tonya Harding” sometimes the Gossip Girl voice is just so on point. 

I’ve always loved Chuck’s voice mail “leave a message and I might listen to it”

The kind of headband Blair’s wearing at that Christmas party were sold anywhere last winter here. Guess they came back.

Lily’s golden dress makes me think of Klimt’s paintings. I like that.

Seriously Gossip Girl’s voice overs this episoder are making me laugh so much “sugar, spicy and everythin nice” not so much.

The Palace hotel decoreted for Christmats time!!  I love it so much.