#it was all kind of a blur

[natade-art]

got hit by the sudden realization that i never posted my piece for the moments between zine even though we got our copies in, what, september? looking at it now there's things i'd do differently but that's what makes zine pieces such a good learning experience ^^

[slfcare]

be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.

[swordmaid]

nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love, all mine.

[theultracharmingladynoire]

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once

[frownyalfred]

here friend, I'll help you: when you realize the characterization isn't to your liking, go ahead and do me a favor -- scroll up to the top right of your screen and hit that big red X button. there, problem solved.

also don't bookmark it. I'm so freaking tired of having this conversation.

[jinjjayo]

MOON SUA 🌑 기억사탕 @ MUSIC BANK 241018

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[crestfallercanyon]

I think Ian would love when Mickey takes long showers.

The rest of the Gallaghers try to complain, and Ian would shut that shit down immediately. Mickey rarely does something so self-indulgent that isn't, y'know, a violent impulse. This is something that no one else gets to see, this isn't Mickey putting on a toughness show, this isn't anything but Mickey taking care of Mickey and Ian loves that for him. Wants him to have that for as long as he can.

Because here's the thing -- Ian remembers the filthy dirty boy he used to fuck in the Kash and Grab.

While Ian never judged Mickey for it (hell, who hasn't experienced a water shut off or heater shortage in Southside?) he knew that Mickey experienced it worst than most. Half the neighborhood called Mickey smelly for fuck's sake, it was well known that Mickey was not clean.

I also imagine Mickey had to fake-it-til-you-make-it in feeling okay with being that dirty. He stopped taking frequent showers or bothering with any hygiene products because he knew the Milkoviches only had so much hot water (or water in general). Terry got first dibs because if he didn't get what he wanted then his piss-poor mood would dictate how everyone's day's went.

Then, Mickey gave next priority to Mandy. Mandy's a girl, which when he was younger didn't really mean anything to him, until she came home wildly upset about being dirty, about how all the girls wouldn't stop pointing out how awful she smelled, how she got her period and the bloodstains were still in her clothes and she didn't have enough water to clean them out but she didn't have any more clean clothes, and fuck, Mickey realized girls were fucking mean when it came to shit like that, and Mickey never wanted her to deal with that ever again. After that, Mickey made sure Mandy had enough water to stay clean, to be orderly, because Mandy cared and Mandy deserved to feel good about herself.

If his brothers were home, they'd get it next, because they somehow always smelled worse than Mickey did. However, that was rarely a problem, and a lot of the time after Terry and Mandy they didn't really have much left in the tank anyway.

So Mickey learned to not care. Not care about being gross and disgusting and feeling itchy at times. To smell clothes and while it was sharp to his nose it was whatever. So something gave him a rash once, he can fucking live. Everyone seems to look at him like he's even more dangerous when he's filthy, so it comes with its own perks, right? Who cares if some nights he couldn't really sleep. He's a kid, and who fucking cares, he's probably not living that long anyway.

But as Mickey starts having more people care about him (and care more about himself in turn) things change in his head. Even when he comes back in season 7, he is nowhere near as covered in dirt as he was when he was young. And while some of this can be chalked up to not being a kid anymore, that's certainly not most of it. The self-loathing he had no longer manifests so outwardly, he's no longer living in a burn out and die young mindset, and he's got people who he gives a shit what they think about him. He wants to try to like himself the way other people (Ian) likes him. Which means being fucking clean.

So he starts to take long showers. And he realizes that, yeah, he likes the feel of having hot water on him, melting the day away. Likes having the assurance that he can have this without being covered in blood and needing to medically clean out the wound (if he'd even do it then). He likes... taking showers. Being clean. Having clean clothes. And Ian, of course, notices.

So, when Ian can hear Mickey taking a shower, and taking his fucking time and actually taking care of himself, Ian freaking loves it. Doesn't let anyone bother Mickey about the water, doesn't let anyone tell him what soaps to use or not use. It's all for his disposal.

And when Mickey's done, Ian will open the door and join Mickey in with the steamy bathroom. Before Mickey can utter a single word about it (most days he'll try to crack something self-deprecating, not quite broaching sorry but as close as he usually gets; on particularly vulnerable days he will try to genuinely apologize) Ian kisses him. Tells him he smells good. Tells him he looks good. Ian's a big fan of positive reinforcement. He's also a big fan of the smile on Mickey's face when he's feeling good about himself.

Ian of course wishes he could get Mickey to feel good about himself every day, but, it's a work in progress just like everything else. Mickey's got to unlearn a childhood built on the belief that he was barely worth garbage. That takes time. Ian gets it.

An easy place to start, though? Enjoying when his man takes his long hot showers.

[oceantoyz]

Everyone go follow @webkinz-t0yb0x -- they had to remake!

Tumblr is crazy for deleting people at random like this...

[youchangedmedestiel]

How I see the world since I watched Supernatural:

[holdoncallfailed]

What’s your novel about?

the flippant/short answer that i tend to give is "what if blur were girls in nyc instead of boys in london" which i guess is only illuminating if you're familiar with blur's Whole Deal...but in slightly more words it's about childhood best friends who start a band together in the late 1980s/become immensely famous in the 1990s and the interpersonal dynamics of the group and their eventual emotional betrayal/falling out...pretty typical i fear...but also every band does that arc anyway so. yeah.

[pomdor]

"Come on Vio! This is like a monument to everything you wanted! Why aren't you smiling?"

[regular-dog]

Ectoberhaunt day 18 - unravel

I like to think that there's just a bunch of weird and fucked up creatures hanging out in the zone. Yknow how it is

The concept of a weird spirally serpent ghost thing has occupied my brain for a while now so when i saw this prompt i figured i may as well finally try to realise it

Earlier sketch version under the readmore

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: What I'd Like To Read By The End Of The Year.

I was feeling ~Whelmed~ over the weekend about all the things I still want to read, and I thought to myself, "Gee Why Is That??", so I pulled everything off my shelf and stacked it up basically in the order I'd like to read it and then went "....ah I see, carry on."

Now this stack WOULD be fine, except everything from ALWAYS COMING HOME down through HOUSE OF LEAVES is stuff I'd like to read adjacent to writing projects, namely: 1. IN BETWEEN (which I'm working on now but need to wrap up by the end of August) and then 2. NANO (which, y'know. Starts on November 1). So the sixteen (16) books between ACH and HOL are for the next three (3) months, and then I'll come back for the side-leaners during/after NaNo, I think.

(Not pictured in this stack is STARLING HOUSE, which I don't have in hand yet but will also be a NaNo Prep book!)

Basically my plan is to read down through this stack in this order and see how long it takes me! I finally got set up with my coworking space today, so hopefully I'll be writing late a couple nights a week starting. tomorrow. Which. will eat into reading time pretty significantly, hopefully.

But there's so much cool stuff I want to read! And write! And knit!! You see why I'm having A Time, huh.

[match-your-steps]

kinda funny how most programmers would prefer to not have to touch apple products with a ten-foot pole but if you talk to basically any designer over like 25 they'll swear up and down and backwards to friday that nothing could ever hold a candle to any apple product