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ihaveverything · 6 months ago

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Limitless manifesting for beginners

part I - basic concepts

part II - states, techniques, change

part III - mental diet, sats

ʚ part IV - daily life, time

part V - resistance, faith, the ''real'' world

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Daily life

The “hard” part of manifesting is not knowing where to get information. There are plenty of resources on the internet to help you get a decent understanding on the Law, as well as original work from source teachers like Neville. A fairly common issue is overconsumption of content, leading to having a jumbled mess of info and confusion on how to go about your daily life. It’s understandable to feel lost, so I will break it down as simply as possible.

You are always being someone. Let’s say you’re manifesting an SP. We know that you cannot occupy two states at once, therefore you’re either in lack or you’re in fulfillment. When you think about your desire (SP or anything else), notice where your mind goes. What thoughts do you have? How are you feeling? What do you know to be true as of this moment? An example of a lack state while manifesting would be thoughts like “I do not have my SP”, “I wish they were here”, “I want to reach out”, “I hope they haven’t forgotten about me”, and feeling rejected, apathy, guilt, fear, etc. Basically knowing they aren’t yours right now. The emotional reactions and intensity of negative thoughts you get may vary from person to person, but the common factor in lack is always the knowing that your desire isn’t here.

A more positive mental diet would be automatically making the choice that you feel as though you have something each time you think of it. It’s as simple as:

Step 1: Identify your desire, I want X.

Step 2: I have it. (Making this choice by utilizing the feeling of having it, this can be attained through techniques or merely a simple decision)

Step 3: Rinse and repeat

I often suggest people make examples out of negative things in order to understand how the positive might look. When you see something unfavorable in the 3D, what is your immediate reaction? Was there any strain or resistance to assuming or fearing the worst? Probably not. Your thoughts, feelings, and reactions will always be aligned with your dominant state. Your only job is to change your dominant dwelling state by entertaining the positive instead of lack. Manifesting is consciously guiding your mind towards where it needs to be, repeatedly making a firm decision that you are something right now, knowing that your desire being unseen right now does not mean it’s non-existent, but it is yours no matter what.

Manifesting is actually much simpler than it seems. Aim to become the person within, and you will see without. Change your 4D, and your 3D will follow. Live your life feeling like the person who has your desires until that state is dominant.

Time

Everyone wants their desires fast, which is completely understandable. It’d be a disappointment if desires had to take an absurdly long time to show up. Many people will say that it’s not good to think about time, because it pulls you away from living in the end, and you focus on the process, which is true. However, it’s also beneficial to acknowledge how time in manifestation works, so that people can have more faith. Like always, your biggest improvements will always come from your own experience and application of the Law, but sometimes knowing why things don’t have to take months or years to reflect is helpful to people’s faith in going all in.

“The time it takes your assumption to become fact, your desire to be fulfilled, is directly proportionate to the naturalness of your feeling of already being what you want to be – of already having what you desire. The fact that it does not feel natural to you to be what you imagine yourself to be is the secret of your failure.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness

The time it takes to manifest something depends on how natural your state of awareness is. The state of the wish fulfilled is basically you identifying with a different probable reality where your desire is already yours, and you are utilizing feeling to make that decision to occupy a different state.

We live in a world that is expressed in 3 dimensions. A 4th dimension would be adding on the concept of time, but this does not mean that time is linear. It doesn’t flow in a straight line from birth to death. There have been many scientific studies on the theory that the past, present and future may exist simultaneously. Life could be compared to a movie, because you are watching (experiencing) one scene (event) at a time, but all scenes (events) exist in the present. Just because you are watching the famous deck scene from the Titanic movie right now, it does not mean the ending credits of that movie don’t exist. Creation is finished as a spirituality concept explains that all infinite probable versions of yourself, others, and realities already exist in the present. Every moment of the day we are experiencing a frame, and we move through these frames smoothly enough to maintain a sense of reality and balance so it doesn’t seem like we’re glitching through life, but every event you want to experience is already an existing thing. That’s what people mean by “it is done”. By identifying with an alternate probable version of yourself and whatever you want to manifest, you are selecting a different reality to experience. No circumstance or anything in the 3d can change an existing reality. If that reality already exists right now, then there’s no such thing as the universe acting like a factory and somehow manufacturing and remaking your circumstances so that they align with your new identity. It’s not a process of creation. It’s not a 2 month process for your person to conform, or a 7 month process for you to become wealthy. The version of you that is in a loving relationship already there, your money is already there, etc.

Make your state natural. When I say you can get your stuff fast with discipline, I do not mean that you need to affirm 10k times a day or visualize 500 times and “saturate” your mind to the point of being burnt out. It doesn’t have to be that hard. The discipline is only entertaining the states that align with having your desire, and not returning to lack. If you can just be 1 version of yourself, and stop jumping back and forth between 2 contradictory identities, then your dominant beliefs and state will change. This should be simple to understand because habits stick easier when you're only moving forward without taking a few steps back every couple of hours or even minutes. When you’ve made your new state completely natural, meaning your beliefs have truly changed (not just you think they’ve changed because you’re in a decent mood today), your desires will reflect fairly quickly. Additionally, for the people who spent months or even years to gain success, they were most likely wavering during that time. The solid chunk of time where they were fully committed to a disciplined mental diet and had conviction / faith was most certainly nowhere near that long. It was probably much shorter.

When people express disbelief in faster manifestations, it’s evident they believe things will take time, perhaps the “bigger” things take more time, or manifestation itself is a completely unpredictable process of blind faith. Knowing things can happen fast is not controlling. It’s not setting a time limit on yourself either, because anyone who has truly manifested something in days will know that when asked about their success, the first thing that comes to mind is definitely not “I wanted my stuff fast, so I tried to control the time”. How fast you get your desires should not be the focus of your attention in any case; people can feel free to be motivated with buying the Pearl of Great Price with the Law since there is a possibility of success being right around the corner. Above all, Neville and Seth have said that most desires do not take over 30-40 days to see significant movement or even reach the full manifestation. Proper mental dieting will give you results within a reasonable amount of time, so there’s no need to wait in impatience and fear for months or years.

source tba

#law of assumption #manifesting #loa blog #loa #loassumption #neville goddard #edward art #manifestation

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lyrashifts · 6 months ago

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Um so I have a question.. I'm a huge marauders fan since I was a kid and I was also an attempting shifter for a year but then I stopped due to work and stuff and now I want to get back at it soooo badly but the problem is I don't have as much time to give to shifting and you could say ive lost a bit of faith (not saying it isn't real just saying that I couldn't do it maybe) I was looking to ask if you have any tips? I'm sorry if this is a bother for you and thank you for your time<33!!

hello darling! firstly i just want to say you are not a bother at all. i honestly love getting asks, and my inbox wouldn't be open if i didn't!

obviously you don't even need motivation or the belief to shift, but having motivation and faith definitely can help make the process easier. but here are a few things i've done / plan to do when i lose motivation

reya's 4 day reprogramming method has a cult following in this community. in terms of time you're probably going to need to say a lot of affirmations throughout the day, but you don't actually make any attempt to shift until the fourth day

i've seen robotic affirmations circulating on here and i tried them myself (i personally just repeated "i am in my __ dr") and i find they work really well!

this isn't even required for motivation or shifting, but i find that working on your self-concept helps a LOT. i used to have a lot of negative self talk, which was probably a contributor to believing specifically i couldn't shift or wasn't ready, but i'd say it's a lot more controlled now. for me it also took away a lot of my negative views from this reality, so instead of viewing shifting as escaping this one i thought of it as going to another one

ofc, taking breaks and looking at media related to your dr can help!!

also, taking a break from social media (or just platforms like shifttok and shiftblr) is good. overconsumption (even of good info) isn't beneficial (too much of anything is bad) and working to just trust yourself and your shifting ability can be super helpful!!

practicing meditation is both good for your health and i've heard a lot of success stories of people who've practiced it for while (since so many methods are essentially just meditation with a very specific goal)! a good rule of thumb is to practice as many minutes as your age

i hope this helps!! i believe in you! (so so sorry for the late reply this was rotting in my drafts and i remembered just today)

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lyss-sketchbox · 2 months ago

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My thoughts on Inazuma vs Natlan so far. Is that Inazuma dropped the ball. There's no questioning that. It was rushed and the resolution lacked weight, and it almost definitely needed a lot more space to breathe and probably would've benefited from the 5 act structure instead of speedrunning with 3 acts (such as needing actual time spent with the Watatsumi Resistance rather than spending like 30 minutes tops).

HOWEVER. I feel like the initial Act I-II of Inazuma did a great job established the STAKES. It showed us the very real damage being caused by the various unjust decrees and why people are fighting. Natlan I kinda felt like did a lot of telling instead of showing, and any potential stakes feel kinda... Unserious? Because no one's really seriously hurt and even if they're saying Natlan will explode soon, I'm not really feeling like it's as dire as they're trying to sell it.

BUT IVE BEEN INFORMED YOU CAN DO NATLAN OUT OF ORDER??? Like you could in theory do Natlan BEFORE Inazuma thru Fontaine (with the quick-start function) which is why Natlan is more 'self-contained' which is absolutely insane to me?? Like HELLO???

Overall, I feel like the concepts and plot presented in Natlan is fine. But they didn't do a good enough job of selling to me these things. Like the whole child soldiers stuff kjadf like we actually dwelled on it for longer than a millisecond, we'd probably realize that's super fucked up!! But instead we gloss over it, making the whole quest seem fairly light-hearted despite everything.

Rubs my hands together ok anon lets talk cuz yeah i have thoughts

About inazuma

I definitely agree with you that Act 1-2 (especially 1) of inazuma did well setting up and showing how much negative impact the shogun's rule has impacted the people:

Vision holders literally losing a chunk of themselves (or worst, their lives) from their vision being confiscated.

Non-vision holders risking their lives for helping said vision holders (the resistance)

International traders being stuck in the nation, repressed by local government, and scammed by local traders just to keep business alive.

Local government bloating the price of everything!!! (And being able to get discounts only if you have connections)

Corruption even in the highest positions (gestures at the Kujou clan)

Fatui meddling that lead to the deaths of many for profit

The shogun literally programmed her robot to be that heartless because she herself dont give a shit about any of these issues. As long as her eternity stays.

Fr after venti and zhongli, getting an archon that acts as a proper ruler of a nation AND an antagonist sounds COOL AS FUCK. The booba sword scene while yeah, boobs wooo, also was a wonderful show of her authority over her nation.

After that they tripped and fell in Watatsumi. While i appreciate the environmental story telling of Watatsumi's and Shogunate's bases during the war, we barely get enough time to do... ANYTHING of substance. If i remember correctly, we became team captain, then do a bunch of training and defeating vagrants (on our own because friendly npc fighters didnt exist yet) and thats it. Where is the plotting? Wheres the planning? It was all just an anime training montage we barely get to see or feel. I genuinely feel like we couldve just replaced the entire Watatsumi arc with 'the fatui is selling delusions to people with confiscated visions to help them cope with the lost so traveller go to the delusion factory' and NOTHING wouldve changed. Hell it wouldve made ALOT more sense why yae came to save us at the end if the whole thing happened in Narukami.

Also after all that SHOWING they did alot more TELLING about wooo how smart kokomi is she is so smart and cool and the savior of the resistance. Like girl the fatui had their grip on your soldiers to the point they almost didnt want to surrender their delusions what are you on about. While you can argue she was only a priestess before the war and had no war intellegence skills, the people prop her up as such, kujou sara took her seriously. So she has to have some merit. Well im not seeing any (fight me on this i dont fully remember what happens in watatsumi)

Also at the end we fight the literal dictator of the nation with the power of friendship then everyone and i mean EVERYONE forgave said dictator...... cool. They would definitely benefit from an extra act so that watatsumi adds to the idea that this civil war and the shoguns current decree is causing damage.

About AR

The thing is that the requirements for you to start Natlan AQ is to be AR 28 and finish Liyue AQ (which requires AR 29 for the entire thing). While starting Inazuma requires AR 30, Sumeru needs AR 35, and Fontaine needs AR 40 (highest AR requirement by far).

Id argue that each nation is supposed to be a self-contained story. Even so, based on AR requirements theyve been chronologically in order because you NEED to complete the previous AQ to start the next. EXCEPT for Natlan.

While this is obviously to be more open to new and returning players, it really.... decreases the stakes, like you would assume the more we progress the tougher challenges we will have to face. But Natlan? Nawww you can go to Natlan without fighting the dictator 👍

About Natlan

I AM ADDRESSING THE CHILD SOLDIER THING FIRST BECAUSE YES. THEY DEFINITELY DID ALOT MORE TELLING THAN SHOWING HOW THIS CHILD APPARENTLY CAN BE SENT TO WAR WITH A REAL CHANCE OF DYING!!!!! I talked about this before because they ironically did alot more showing how child like Kachina is which adds more to the FUCKING CHILD SOLDIER THING.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH THIS??? Oh its our nations culture, its just the culture shock, OKAY YEAH BUT THE TRAVELLER AND PAIMON ARENT NATLAN NATIVES AND THEY DONT FEEL ANYTHING ABOUT THIS????? Wow yey cheer for the child to go to war! BRO SHE DIED AND WE WENT JACOOZIING WHILE WE WAIT FOR HER TO RETURN FROM WAR...............

ITS VERY OBVIOUS INFANTILIZATION BECAUSE IANSAN DIDNT FUCKING GET THE SAME TREATMENT. You know, the other small girl character there, nah she went to war just like Kachina, lived, and stood by the Archon and WAS READY TO THROW HANDS WITH A HARBINGER IF THE ARCHON DIDNT FUCKING FIGHT HIM HERSELF.

Everything just feels so.... chill? So relaxed with no stakes at all. I mean yeah the Abyss is creeping into the nation's roots but instead of sending armies we make it a tournament. Yeah people die in these excursions but we can revive them so we can ignore the horrors of experiencing death. Yeah the flames are dying so the archon has to give up some of her power to keep it lit but its okay! The harbinger is a gentleman that wont take this opportunity to do some scheming. We need the power of the chosen one of each tribes to save natlan but hey cant rush it! We got a year after all teehee.

Man. Head in hands. What the fuck.

Not even gonna go into the whole the archon is human but mavuika is the one that got reincarnated to retake the role just in time to solve a national crisis thing. Because i dont even know if THAT is accurate.

If they somehow trip and fall worse than inazuma id actually be amazed because the bar is very very low.

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #im adding #kokomi deserves better #i was infact part of the kokomi was dogshit mob and i would like to offer my apology to the koko mains #but god i hate it when supposedly important characters NOT DO IMPORTANT THINGS #she deserves better man idk #lyssten to my rambles #spoilers #genshin spoilers

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ecoterrorist-katara · 2 months ago

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hello hello! can i just say, i love your takes so much. it feels like you’ve read my mind on how katara would actually react in certain situations. currently myself, im rewriting the structure of the show in a way that makes more sense (aka, getting rid of kataang altogether and focusing on actual growth for each character including aang!) and im struggling a bit on aang actually!

we know how brykke basically stunted aang’s growth because of their weirdness. but what if aang never had a crush on katara? what if he sees katara as the big sister he always wanted instead, making their relationship more wholesome than weird? i think he’s such a centralized character, but when i develop the others beyond the show, aang feels like he’s left behind.

maybe that’s part of it too! he is a boy out of time, and now more of a concept than a person as far as anyone else outside of his immediate group knows. in this au where i intend to age everyone up, i’m just curious to see what kind of man aang would grow up into if his motivations for katara was never there. i see him as trying to hold onto his lost childhood and then having to come to terms with the fact he can’t. but i’d love to hear your thoughts. who is aang outside of that? his journey has the opportunity to be so fascinating, but brykke kind of said hey! let’s not get into that! let’s make him a creepy god boy who gets whatever he wants!

(also to note, this version of aang is meant to be with azula and while i love the meta ive seen about taang i do personally hc her as a lesbian but i do like them but yeah!)

also sorry if this is too rambly i’m just very excited!

hi! This is such a nice message, and please never apologize for rambling! My blog is a safe space for all ramblers. Your fic sounds like a very exciting project!

I definitely agree with you that he’d try to hold onto his childhood & have a hard time with his grief; coming to terms with the depth of his loss would be an exceptionally interesting arc. His people were victims of genocide: his culture and his loved ones were brutally murdered. Nobody can replace that community, not even his chosen family of the Gaang, and certainly not a romantic partner.

But Aang certainly is somebody outside of all that tragedy too. I think his cheerfulness and optimism, his playfulness, his resilience, his reluctance to assume responsibility, and his prodigiousness are all important facets of his personality.

Here's my piping hot take: Aang is James Potter with a more tragic backstory and less of a cruel streak. Think about it: mischievous, funny, adventurous, brave, enjoys attention, popular, devoted to friends, prodigious, entitled when it comes to love interests, morally inflexible, dedicated to Good, can be too arrogant to recognize his own faults. We hear that James became a pretty decent guy, so there's plenty of potential for growth for Aang, especially if he doesn't get his forever girl at age twelve.

Aang has a big heart and stringent morals, but is still a bit of a trickster. Not in a malicious way, but in a “I have a zest for life way” that gives him a little bit of an edge beyond just being a sunshine boy. You can see this even in ep 1, when he sacrifices himself so that the village would be left alone, only to haul ass out of the Fire Nation ship as soon as they’re safe. You can also see it in The Great Divide, where he straight up just fabricates history lmao. Lying is not an issue for him at all, which indicates it’s not really part of his moral code.

On the other hand, he obviously feels very strongly about taking life, which indicates a black and white approach towards morality that is not uncommon in kids. I could see an older, more mature Aang being led to question his own approach to morality, particularly by someone like Zuko, who probably finds violence a lot more palatable than lying. I think there are very interesting cultural differences that can be explored here, which doesn’t necessarily mean that Aang will change his opinions, only that he’ll have greater respect for how other cultures see right and wrong, and that he can keep Air Nomad culture alive without taking on the burden of being the manifestation of that culture. He has the innate impulse to try to see the best in people, which is at odds with his black and white morals sometimes. Related to that, he really struggles with morally grey characteristics in his friends. I think that if he had a fleshed out opportunity to properly disagree with his friends, he may not necessarily change his own mind, but he might grow to value his friends' freedom of choice over imposing his own values on them, since one of the cornerstones of Air Nomad philosophy is apparently about freedom. I think his pacifist voice is an important contribution to their ragtag group of overpowered pre-teens and teens and I love it when that aspect is explored in fics.

I've seen some really good depictions of Aang-not-obsessed-with-Katara in fanfiction (Southern Lights has my favourite one; in fact it's my fave characterization of basically everyone except for Mai). I see most of his flaws as things he can grow out of, but only if he encounters difficult situations and learns to grow. Have fun with your fic, and please do share in any relevant tags once you start posting!

#can i ask you a question?#anti kataang #pro aang #y'all i can be pro-aang i think he's got a lot of potential #I will die on the “Aang is actually James Potter hill” btw #if the shoe fits yk #my meta

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wonyoluv · 2 years ago

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𝐖𝐋𝐖 & 𝐆𝐆 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬 !! (๑>ᴗ<๑)

✧ some of my all time favorite fics & their amazing authors!! please show everybody lots of love ^^ [header creds. to @minvcrs] ✧ i'll keep updating this as i find more fics !! pls feel free to send in suggestions as well <3

✧ SMAUS ✧

BRUTAL - @mosinterlude [hanni x reader smau]

↳ this was such a fun concept for a smau & this author also has a rlly great niki smau if ur a fan of enhypen <3 looking forward to more of their works ^^

HALLWAY CRUSH - @xuqijie [haerin x reader smau]

↳ kinda reminds me of 2521 & it's just a rlly cute concept

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL - @jungwonize [rei x reader smau]

↳ this smau hasn't come out yet but im so hyped ^^ this author has rlly creative plots so definitely another blog to check out ;)

RUN2U - @yaeluvz [wonyoung x reader smau}

↳ i had the time of my life reading this smau bc it was just so funny & perfectly cute <3 loved wonyoung's portrayal bc it was just so endearing

FANWARS - @rosiehrs [yunjin x reader smau]

↳ i still haven't gotten the chance to read this smau but i can't wait to! the summary itself sounds so entertaining

FAULT LINES - @ctrlemis [wonyoung/jungwon x reader smau]

↳ jungwon and wonyoung are two of my ults so this smau was literally everything i had ever dreamed of

PLEASE! - @mingkuri [hanni x reader smau]

↳ not completely up to date with this smau but its so so funny <3 like i actually need to catch up rn bc it's amazing, not to mention it's abt the loml hanni pham <3_<3

THE ONLY EXCEPTION - @izfims [yujin x reader smau]

↳ just found this while i was going through my saved fics & it looks so cute so i need to go check it out like rn !! i'm definitely checking it out b4 i go to sleep tdy

✧ WRITTEN ✧

LOVER GIRL - @silantryoo [haerin x reader fluff]

↳ quite literally the cutest thing i've ever read ... i wish i could reread it but the author accidentally deleted their acc T_T if u haven't read it, take my word for it bc it was absolutely adorable 🫶 update: it’s been reposted!! so happy i could literally cry rn 🙈

CAN'T YOU SEE ME - @forhereyesonlyyy [yujin x reader fluff]

↳ it's honestly such a struggle to find authors for ive, but im so glad that i found this acc bc they write so well <3 definitely recommend checking it out :)

2, 4, 6, 8, WHO DO I APPRECIATE? - @chenle [yuna x reader fluff]

↳ an all time favorite of mine ^^ if i could only recommend one work in this post, this would be the one ... it literally came out 4 yrs ago & i still go back to read it <33 it's a cheerleader au & absolutely adorable,, also made me realize just how gay i am lol

CHICKEN SANDWICH - @kimsohn [winter x reader drabble]

↳ this is probably one of my fave drabbles from this acc bc it has fake dating which is one of my fave tropes but literally anything they write is amazing <3 this acc has sm diversity & writes for ggs like loona, aespa, ive & itzy !!

OCEAN VIEW - @seungiepup [gaeul x reader fluff]

↳ probably one of the only gaeul works i've seen on here but im so happy that i found it :) it's a perfect fluffy slice of life drabble

STUCO GF HCs - @iichaeyj [karina x reader fluff]

↳ this acc posts such great hcs & blurbs like i love reading them all sm. they havent posted much gg content, but i'd def recommend checking out all their works if you like txt or enhypen.

6:03 PM - @gfksn [ryujin x reader fluff]

↳ the cutest timestamp <33 like i just love ryujin sm & i feel like this captures her essence rlly well .. idk if that makes sense but plz check it out bc it's cute :)

DRESS ME UP - @hoonsmarsbar [gaeul x reader]

↳ this hasn't come out yet but i can't wait <3 the header is so so pretty & the summary has me so intrigued :) bc i just adore gaeul

KISS, KISS, I WANNA KISS. - @tbzloonar [hyejoo x reader fluff]

↳ you can likely alr tell just how cute this is from the title alone but im gonna say it again bc its adorable <3

LOST SUNSHINE - @haerinz [wonyoung x reader angst]

↳ this hanahaki au was one of the first gg fics i found on here && it's a true heartbreaker <3 would definitely recommend to anyone craving angst :D

SWEET WORDS - @itgetsquiet [ryujin x reader fluff]

↳ only recently discovered this fic && i still haven't finished it, but i started it and from what i've read so far, ik im gonna enjoy it :)

#ive x reader #itzy x reader #newjeans x reader #loona x reader #izone x reader #enhypen x reader #itzy x yn #kpop gg #gg x reader #kpop fic recs #ive x yn #wonyoung x reader #ryujin x reader #hyunjin x reader #sakura x reader #yujin x reader #wonyoung x yn

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commander-rahrah · 6 months ago

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Talking to the Moon: Part VIII

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~5950 Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, mentions of trauma, abuse and possible death, some borrowed in game dialogue, suggestive, slight NSFW, canonical warnings apply!

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

part I: here part II: here part III: here part IV: here part V: here part VI: here VII: here

Summary: Set in end stages of Act III. Astarion spends the day alone to gather his thoughts and prepare himself on how to make yet another confession - his love for you.

Notes:

Hi folks ♡ This is my take on non-ascended Astarion's romance scene in Act III, where I've continued to give him some more scenes between the Cazador fight and the romance scene -- because this poor vampire needs some time to decompress and breath and think! I daydreamed about a few of these scenes, and the dialogue was stuck in my brain and played on a loop until I finally got to write it down! I hope you enjoy the chapter and the culmination of all the little, patient moments between Astarion and GN!Reader/Tav that lead to this scene for them. I think there will probably only be a few more chapters for this series too! Crazy!!!

Thank you so much for reading! As always, kudos and comments are very very appreciated ♡♡♡

·:¨�� ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

Astarion’s pale fingers were twitching against the inside of his palms as he studied the busy cobblestone street.

Pairs — that’s all he could see. The pair holding hands as they weaved through the crowd. A man gently tugging a woman to his side, out of the way of an incoming carriage, before tipping their heads back and laughing. Two men flashing each other nervous, flirty smiles as they picked out rings together. His eyes had been drawn to pairs for months now — ever since he’s realized he done the unthinkable and actually fallen for you. But usually they were pairs that he could only assume the stories of. Couples that were long gone, dead and forgotten about. Skeletons with intertwined fingers, or love letters from decades ago long lost to the Shadowlands. He hadn’t seen couples with futures — honest to god living, breathing, hopeful pairs. Whispering and sneaking glances and kisses. Gentle casual touches as they picked out fresh fruit and matching jewelry. People so full of hope and love. It made his half-dead heart ache for you. Wherever you were right now. He had remained behind today, not quite ready to face the world as the supposed “heroes” you all had become to the city. No, he wanted more time to figure out what all this meant for him. For you.

You had offered to stay with him after his morning feeding, your voice low and gentle as the others still slept. But he insisted you go — as much as that little voice in his head argued to not let you go. Someone had to be there to make sure nobody took advantage of your kind, selfless heart.

But if he had another moment with you he would probably blurt out some rambling, befuddled love confession. Which isn’t the way Astarion wanted to do things.

You both had done everything so backwards from the beginning. He wouldn’t mess this up too.

So, here he was — meandering through the busy market of Baldur’s Gate. Eyeing flowers and jewelry and goods as if they could adequately describe how he felt about you.

Roses and chocolates and dramatic passion in bed. That’s what he thought this was supposed to be. What he’d read it felt like, what he’d faked it to be.

But no.

You were sweet lilies and midnight orchids, honey and delicate pastries, the deep night sky and moonlight. You with your gentle, patient and maddening touches that turned everything he knew upside down.

Astarion never really got any of it — even with his broken concept of love. He didn’t understand the point of it.

Because it was never with you.

No, no flowers or chocolates or jewelry would really capture how he felt. None of it could dare come close to explaining the fluttering, buzzing, electric feeling that went through him at just the thought of you.

He wouldn’t rely on theatrics either — no perfectly placed blanket and bottle of wine in the middle of the woods. No practiced lines or trained movements that were practically a ritual at this point.

The vampire would speak from the heart. His cold, half-dead heart that was… well, feeling quite the opposite as of late.

Shoving his hands into his trouser pockets, the vampire took the long way back to the Elf Song Tavern — relishing the feeling of the sun heating his white hair, freckling the back of his neck. Memorizing the sights in the daytime colours, the different sounds of the busy streets.

Who knew how much longer he’d be able to take them in. That was part of what he gave away.

Another thing to come to terms with.

At least he got to make the decision for himself this time. Unlike most of his life.

The worn wooden stairs of the tavern creaked underneath Astarion as he went up to the group’s room. He marched through the ornate double doors before any nervousness or doubting thoughts slipped in at the prospect of seeing you.

But the room was quiet — the only sound a small crackling fire that must have been freshly set by housekeeping. There was no usual bustle of the dozen of you all — everyone still out in the city, doing whatever quest or do-good-ing someone insisted on today.

His pointed ear quirked slightly at a sound, and he turned his head towards it. The balcony doors were wide open, the sound of something lightly thumping the glass pane of the doors reached his ears. But he couldn’t see anything from here.

Moving heel to toe carefully to not announce himself, Astarion craned to see who it was before letting out a small sigh of relief. It was Karlach — her red tail hitting the glass softly as it swished back and forth. The rest of her was leaned up against the railing, with something hanging out of her mouth.

He let out a fake cough to get her attention, and she craned her head over her muscular shoulder to look at him. Her clawed fingers pulled a cigar out from her mouth, her lips pulling into a grin. “Hiya Fangs.”

Ugh, cigars. Astarion loathed the disgusting things — they reeked. “Karlach,” He greeted with a nod, leaning against the frame of the balcony door away from the smoke. “Back already?”

“Ah, never left.” She admitted a little sheepishly. “Wasn’t quite ready to face the world just yet.”

Right, Gortash. Gods, he’d been so wrapped up in everything that had happened to him that he’d almost forgotten. She’d asked for time to decompress after all of that too. Not that he blamed her.

The barbarian had even pulled herself together for his benefit — she was one of the first to jump to his defense when he announced to the group it was time to face his old Master.

He wondered if she got as much catharsis from killing Gortash as he did from killing the ancient vampire.

Probably not. Even with the lord dead she would still die. Not like him.

No, he'd get to live with that, like this, forever.

Sometimes he couldn’t decide what was worse. Cursed to die after finally seeing the sun and trees and ocean again. Or cursed to live forever with only fading memories of those things after longing for them for two hundred years.

It was a difficult question to answer. And now even more impossible with the added variable of his love for you — his very mortal, very breakable lover.

Astarion realized he had been silent for way too long then socially acceptable and blinked his red eyes back to reality.

Karlach had put the cigar out now thankfully, tossing her black and red hair over her shoulder as she braced her elbows on the metal railing. The rogue stepped forward to join her, pushing his hip against the railing as he looked down to the streets he had just been walking.

“I’m proud of you fangs, I hope you know that."

He raised a white brow at her as she continued. "I know it wasn’t easy… turning down what you did. But gods, are we glad you did.”

The vampire took a steadying breath, “I know… Now I just have to live with it. I’m not sure what will happen now, or once the tadpoles are gone.” He admitted with a twinge of fear in his voice.

Her amber eyes betrayed her, flickering down before she forced a smile on her face. “Whatever happens, you won’t be alone.”

“For now. I’m sure everyone will be called off to their own business." He ignored the giant, waving red flag of her impending doom. "And besides, they’re bound to get sick of avoiding the sun just for me after sometime…”

“What, Giggles?" She scoffed, "You have to know they aren’t going anywhere by now, Fangs.”

His heart squeezed tightly, “How can you be so sure?”

“Astarion. They talk about you like you put the stars in the fuckin’ sky.”

He swallowed the lump crawling up his throat. Not only had he finally noticed you actually did love him, apparently he was one of the last ones to see it too.

Karlach said it with so much conviction, that even if he hadn’t come to the same conclusion last night… he certainly would have now.

“If you’ll have them, they’ll be there.” She smiled tenderly, the corners of her eyes wrinkling. She reached out her large red hand, squeezing his shoulder before she grimaced. “Oh fuck, sorry!” She wrenched her hand back, “Touching! I forgo—“

“It’s ok, I didn’t mind that.”

“Still, shoulda asked. Gods, I gotta get better at that. Just couldn’t do it for so long, heh—“

Astarion gave her a sad smile, nodding his head.

If he was honest he used to loathe Karlach. Not that she deserved it. But she was handed shit cards just like him, and she insisted on being so fucking bubbly and positive and optimistic. It drove him mental.

And the touching. Gods, the touching.

In the beginning how she moaned and mourned physical touch, all while Astarion felt like he was going to chip a molar if another person touched him again.

And then the pure elation on her face when she got her engine upgraded and could hug, kiss... grab people’s wrists and shoulders and fingers so casually. But Astarion’s face had to be a perfect, numb mask so he could hide the fact that bile was rising in his throat and his skin was on fire anytime someone grabbed him.

He hadn’t meant to hate her. And he knew he didn’t now. Actually, he felt like he was already mourning his friend a little bit. He would miss her.

“Thank you,” Astarion’s said softly.

Karlach’s eyebrows raised high on her forehead, a little stunned at the gratitude. “For what?”

“For being my friend. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

“You deserved it, Fangs. The whole time.” Her voice was unusually soft and low, like a whisper. “Every good thing that’s happened to you — including them. And there’s more to come, I know it.”

The smiles they shared after was bittersweet.

Hope in times like these was a dangerous thing.

• • •

Your shoulders instantly relaxed as your eyes settled on Astarion’s form. He was lounging near the fire in your room at the tavern, a a book face down over his leg with his knee acting as a placeholder. His striking red eyes watched your every step as you swayed on tired feet over to him.

“Hello, sweetheart.” The vampire said softly, looking up at you from the settee.

“May I?”

His pale hand tapped the spot next to him. Your legs all but gave out as you sat down on the soft cushions, your muscles finally finding some relief after your long day. Before you could you even think to ask him, Astarion was wrapping his arm around your side – pushing you into him.

You relished in the feeling, losing yourself in his scent and the feel of the pads of his fingers on your soft waist. Then his strong nose was pressed into your neck, pressing the smallest of kisses to the sensitive skin that caused a wave of emotions to crash through you all at once. “You’re alright?” He asked quietly in your ear, before pulling away to look you over.

“Alright. Tired, glad to be back.” You gave him a meek smile, “And you, love?” You couldn’t help but study him, your eyes falling to his other hand that was not holding you – playing with the stitches on the sides of his pants. The anxious habit had made him go through a couple pairs of pants by now.

“Yes. No. Hmm… It’s hard to verbalize.” He finally admitted.

Your eyes locked and a silent conversation transpired in those seconds. His blinks and flash of his red eyes was confirmation enough. “I understand.”

He licked his pink lips as he slid his hand from around you, his fingertips dragging across the small of your back as he instead laced his pale fingers in yours. “I do feel guilty that I ended up lounging around here in the sun while the rest of you were out being heroes…” Then he swallowed, staring out to the windows just beginning to turn golden pink with the slowly setting sun. “I guess I should probably start getting used to the shadows again. Who knows how long I have left in the sun?”

You gave him a sad smile, feeling your chest tighten at the look on his face. “I think you did the right thing. Stopping it. Stopping him.”

Never again would you say that name. Never again would you give the bastard vampire master an ounce of power, even in death.

“I know. So do I. Though that doesn't mean it stings any less.” You felt your eyes burn as his voice broke slightly, getting thick with emotion. “Maybe never seeing the sun again is just the price of freedom.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands on your lap, “I'll be with you either way. I hope you know that.”

“I think I do,” Astarion said, his eyes turning soft and round as he looked over at you. Then he rolled his neck with attitude, a smirk spreading across his lips. “Assuming we survive, of course. Because a horrible death is always just around the corner with you.”

You thought about your adventures today with your companions and couldn’t help but agree. “We do love to find trouble, don’t we?”

A small chuckle escaped him, shaking you both slightly on the settee. Then he took a steadying breath, his fingers tightening their hold on yours for a moment. “There's something I'd like to show you, if that's alright. Something out in the city.”

Your brows met in the middle, “What is it?”

“Something I haven't shown anyone else,” He admitted with an odd look on his face. “Tonight?”

“Tonight,” You agreed, squeezing his cold hand back gently.

• • •

“This way, it's not far.” Astarion said softly, his hand stretched back as he led you forward.

It took all of his willpower to stop his other hand from trembling as you both walked through the graveyard. The over-grown grass and long forgotten tombs were bathed in the moonlight from above, casting shadows across the space.

He risked a glance behind him to look at you, but you were as quiet and composed as ever as you took in the sights around you. The vampire had never seen you be so quiet as you had been in the last few days – he knew it was for his benefit. Usually his lovely moon was as sharp-tongued as he was, as eloquent and flowery as Wyll or Gale. But no, these past few days you had been listening and watching so patiently. You’d given him both comfort and space in a way he’d never thought possible.

He would have to add that to the never ending list of why he loved you.

His half-dead heart crawled up his throat as he approached the familiar sight of his own tombstone. It seemed so simple just sitting here in the overgrown grass – clearly untouched all these centuries later. It had held so much power over him for so long — this haunted place that was marked as the beginning of this existence.

This hole in the ground. This slab of stone.

“Nearly two hundred years and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there. I had to punch a hole in the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt.” He croaked, his fingers slipping from yours to form fists beside him. “Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting.”

His master’s name made his mouth feel wrong, his tongue heavy and swollen.

“From that day on I was his. Until yesterday.”

“You were never his.” You said quietly, “Whatever he had, he took by force.”

“Maybe, but he did take it. There's almost nothing left of the person I was. Just a name on a rock.” His bottom lip trembled, before he steadied himself. Turning to the side, he moved his gaze from the tombstone to you. “For nearly two centuries I stalked the streets like a ghost while the person I was, lay here dead and buried. Now I need to figure out who I am. What I want.”

You took a deep breath, looking at him with your eyes wide, “And what do you want?”

Astarion’s heart stuttered, he was doing this. That’s what the whole point of all of this was, wasn’t it? Why he had that nervous fluttering in his stomach all day. “You... I want you. You were by my side through all of this. Through bloodlust and pain and misery. You were patient. You cared. You trusted me when that was an objectively stupid thing to do!” His throat worked soundlessly, before he spoken again. “I feel safe with you. Seen. And whatever the future holds for me, I don't want to lose that.”

“You won't. Whatever comes next, I've got you.” You said it so softly, but with so much conviction he couldn’t help but believe you.

Then your mouth spread into a radiant smile that he couldn’t help but match. “Thank you.”

It took all of him to tear his eyes away from you. “Well... I should probably fix this.” Kneeling down, he pulled a sheathed dagger from his boot. He took the tip of it, pushing it into the weathered stone as he added the current year. The year he woke up from the evil nightmare that was his life. The year he met you.

Sheathing the dagger, he fell back onto his heels and he admired his work. You dropped down beside him, close enough he could feel your warmth radiating around you. And you were so quiet again, giving him time to process.

“I've been dead in the ground for long enough, it's time to try living again. With everything that life has to offer.” Taking a deep breath, he swiveled on his knees until his was face to face with you. The moon was backlit behind your head, illuminating your silver hair with an ethereal halo. His fingertips couldn’t resist reaching out and tracing the soft line of your cheek.

Taking a steadying breath, he let his hand fall back onto his lap. His lashes casting a shadow down his face as he looked down for a moment before he spoke again. “Months ago, on that bed in the last light inn... you asked me how I saw you.”

You nodded as you remembered, “You told me you needed time.”

“Ask me again.”

You licked your lips, “How do you see me?”

“I look at you, and I see everything. The moon and stars. The world. A future.” His pale fingers reached out for yours, intertwining them carefully. “I was petrified when you asked me before… because I knew, even back then. But I’m not afraid anymore.

Being with you is about more than lust or manipulating you into a tactical alliance. I love you. I love this. And I want it all.” Astarion confessed before his other hand pale grabbed the side of your face, holding you steady as he pressed his lips to yours gently — to give you time to pull away.

The vampire didn’t have to wait very long for you to kiss him back. Your lips meeting his almost instantly, your hands pressing tenderly into the lapels of his jacket to hold you steady as you both balanced on your knees. Your soft lips, your scent, the feeling of your fingers bunched on his clothes — you were the most intoxicating thing he’d ever had.

You pulled away just long enough to whisper back in a husky voice, “I love you Astarion, irrevocably so.”

A feeling gripped his heart so tightly, spread through every pore and crevice of his half-dead body that he felt it bring him back to life. Astarion had been manipulated, coerced, abused and forced into acquiescence for over two hundred years. He had felt the physical control that his Master had over his body and soul. But this — you, you possessed him another way he had never felt. He could barely process it, let alone articulate the way you were making him feel right now. He opened and closed his mouth several times as he tried to get the words out.

Instead silver lined the bottoms of his eyes and his bottom lip trembled, “What ever could I have done to deserve such a beautiful creature as you, my heart.”

But you shook your head, your silver hair bouncing with the movement, “I have never once questioned my love for you. You… you’ve never made me feel like I’m too loud, too much. You made me feel easy to love — and you did make me feel loved, long before you ever said the words. You make me feel like my blessing is something to be grateful for… not a thorn in your side. That I’m not a burden.”

“A burden? Never!” Anger flared through him at the people who made you feel this way. “A burden is something forced upon, against your will. I know that feeling. But you – you aren’t a burden. I choose you. Do not dilute yourself, or hide yourself away. Not from me.”

It was your turn to have happy tears fill your eyes now, your freckled nose crinkling as you smiled wide, “I love you.”

“Say it again.” He breathed, pressing his forehead to yours. His red eyes flickered down so he could watch your lips move and form around the words.

“I love you.”

A broken noise escaped from Astarion’s throat as he grabbed onto you. Euphoria and arousal and light flooded through him like never before. “Hells, the things you do to me. Just those words alone.” He hissed as his hand slid down the back of your neck, pulling you into him so he could kiss you more deeply then ever before.

Gods, did he want you. He wanted to taste every inch of you, re-discover your entire body. He wanted you breathy and panting as he swirled you with his mouth. He wanted his name on your lips and your hands on his body. He’d waited for this, waited for you for centuries.

Astarion gently pushed you into the long, soft grass and your eyes widened slightly with surprise. He lowered himself carefully on top of you, his hands bracketing either side of your head before asking in a whisper, “Is this okay?”

You nodded with a swallow, before opening your mouth. “Yes. And for you?”

“Gods, yes.” He purred into your ear before pressing his body flush to yours and capturing your lips again. Almost instantly one of your hands was at the nape of his neck, swirling his curls and massaging his scalp to the rhythm of your kisses.

The vampire slid his knee between your legs, stretching them apart so he could settle in between them deliciously — a hand moving underneath your shoulder to support you as you stretched your neck up to keep up with your kisses. He felt himself harden in his leather pants, rutting in the soft muscle of your thigh to get any kind of friction. Then his other pale hand slipped between the two of you and cupped between your own legs, feeling your arousal through the thin fabric of your trousers.

“Astarion,” You hummed in approval, bucking into his hand that sparked the fire in his belly to heat even more. He buried his face into your neck, nipping and sucking the delicate skin before pressing his tongue and lips to it in a soothing touch. If he didn’t stop here, he wasn’t sure if he could. The whole point of this was to do things the right way...

As if the cosmos heard his thoughts, the sounds of crunching steps nearby caused both of you to pull away in a flurry. You were both breathless, your chests heaving and skin flushed from your touch. Then quiet chuckles escaped you, shaking your bodies as your foreheads touched.

“Do you see what you do to me?” Astarion whispered, before detangling himself from you. You brushed each other off, before standing up and moving into the shadow of a nearby tree as incoming torch lights suddenly appeared.

“Hello?” A gruff voice called out, the clink of chained armor ringing as they walked closer to where you two were just laying.

“It was probably a ghost, Ryder.” Another voice teased from behind.

City guards. Well, that could have been awkward.

“OooOOOooo,” They mocked again.

“Eh! Stop it, you know this place gives me the creeps.” The first voiced huffed, before turning on their heel. “You owe me a pint for that.”

Astarion waited until their voices and footsteps faded away before peering around the large tree trunk. Another laugh escaped him, “What was it that I was just saying about you and trouble?”

You shook your head but joined his laughter, “That one is all your fault, you instigator.”

“Pardon me for finding you absolutely irresistible.” He licked his lips as he stared at yours, before blinking his red eyes back to reality. “Now what, my love?”

“Perhaps, now I can show you something I’ve never shown anyone else?”

He quirked a white eyebrow before letting a smirk spread, “Lead the way.”

Leaving the graveyard behind, you walked with your fingers intertwined and stepped in time with each other as you wandered down the cobblestones streets of Baldur’s Gate. You led the way confidently, a soft smile on your face as you snuck glances over to him. It made his heart thrum and stomach twist.

As you turned the corner onto a residential street, Astarion’s steps slowed. He looked around, blinking as he realized, “I know this street.”

You cocked your head as you kept walking, pulling him along with you, “Do you?”

“Quite well. I would use it to get to the little tavern nearby as a bit of a shortcut. But there’s this lovely little townhouse, tiny. It’s lavender with—”

“Flower boxes?” You finished for him.

“Yes, lilies.” Astarion walked forward before stopping in front of the townhouse. The narrow house was sandwiched between two others, painted a pastel lavender that shined brilliantly in the moonlight compared to the darker colours around it. “This one,” He pointed a long, pale finger at it.

You frowned slightly as you looked at the planter boxes, “The poor flowers.”

He followed your gaze, “They will bloom again, I’m sure of it.” Stepping closer to the little townhouse, he pointed up to the second floor window. “You know, there’s a piano in there.”

You perked up at that, your eyes darting from him to the window at back, “How do you know that?”

“I would hear it sometimes, faintly. Soft little melodies.”

“Really?”

A small smile spread across Astarion’s lips as he remembered the tunes — how sometimes he would stop underneath the window just out of sight in the dim light of the evening and listen. The harsh tug of his master’s orders would usually snap at him for the delay, but it was worth it to hear the joyful sounds.

“Every so often they would sing too. Such a lovely voice. I actually… l used to come this way when I was in the area — hoping I would hear them.” He admitted, wringing his hands together in front of him. “And I would try so hard to commit it to memory, so I could remember it when... Well, you know when.”

You looked over to him with the softest line between your brows. “Astarion, when was this?”

“Oh, time is so hard for me.” He tapped his chin as he thought, “Recently though— the last year or so I’d say.“

You worked your throat silently before pulling out a silver key out of your pocket, holding it out in front you. “When I realized I was going to stay in Baldur’s Gate, I started looking for a more permanent place to stay instead of the inns.”

You turned on your heel, and began to climb the narrow stairs on the side of the townhouse, “I saw an ad in the paper about a tiny room available at a discounted rate...” You slid the silver key into the painted wooden door that matched the rest of the house, and pushed it open. “Because the previous tenant had passed away and left behind a piano that was would cost them too much to move.”

Astarion followed you in wordlessly, his mouth falling open as you continued speaking. Until both of you stood inside the tiny lavender townhouse. It wasn’t very lavish — it was actually quite quaint, a little outdated. Some of the furniture looked well-loved and worn — a double bed pushed in the corner underneath the window to make space for the large upright piano taking up the majority of the room.

“I thought the piano was a selling feature, I loved it… I would play almost every night.” You said breathlessly, spinning around to face the vampire again.

His red eyes stayed on you, his voice thick with emotion. “It was you?”

“One year I’ve rented this room.” You admitted.

“It was you.” He breathed, crossing to you in a few steps and grabbing onto your fingers gently. The soft fingers that could play the piano so beautifully. “Play— play for me?” He asked, gesturing over to the dusty piano.

Your lips curled up as you nodded, pulling out the cracked leather piano bench and sitting before it. You stretched your fingers over the ivory keys, the dim light from the windows catching on the rings adorning them. Astarion could tell you must have taken lessons, your posture almost perfect as you straightened your back at the edge of your seat. He felt a tugging in the back of his mind of someone trying to teach him the same once, hundreds of years ago as a child.

But then your fingers pressed into the keys, and the emotion that crossed your face could not have been taught. You closed your eyes as you struck the first few chords, not needing to look as your hands glided between positions.

He was transfixed watching you, listening to you. Somehow you picked the tune that he remembered most clearly — the one that would slip into his mind the most when he was desperately looking for any kind of reprieve. It was more beautiful then he remembered, his memory of it was really a disservice to how exquisite it truly was.

Your posture laxed slightly as you began to hum, harmonizing with the melody you played on the piano and your voice drew Astarion in. He stood behind you, his fingers trailing the ends of your silver hair as he listened, brushing down the nape of your neck before squeezing it tenderly as you played the last note.

“I can’t believe it was you, this whole time. Your tunes, your voice kept me from madness some nights. Staring up at the moon, and you—” His voice broke, as tears broke free so instead he bent over to place a kiss on the crown of your head.

You turned to face him, standing up to reach his height. You gave him a sad smile, before asking, “May I?” He nodded with eyes closed, unsure of what he was even agreeing to. But then he felt the pads of your fingertips wipe his tears away, as gracefully and practiced as you had just touched the piano keys.

Astarion opened his eyes and grabbed your hand before you could pull it away. He held onto it before kissing your fingertips closely, tasting his own salty tears. “Just when I thought there was no possibility of loving you more.”

You mewed at the statement, the most beautiful smile he had ever seen spreading across your lips. “Do you believe me now?”

“About what?” He whispered.

“Fate.”

A breathy laugh escaped him as his heart lurched forward like it would thump right out of his chest, “Yes, my moon. I think I do.”

Leaning his face down, Astarion kissed you softly as he moved his arms to wrap around you. You matched his movements, circling your arms around his waist as your fingers grabbed onto the fabric of his jacket. Even with the long, drawn-out kisses, without requiring air like a mortal did, Astarion felt like he could finally breathe – fully and deeply for the first time in centuries. The darkness of his eternal immortal suffering suspending for a moment as his heart thundered alongside yours.

His lips became fervent on yours, kissing you harder and deeper than ever before. Your fingers moved to the front of shirt, knotting in fists as you pulled him into you. He groaned at the sensation of your chest pushed into his.

The vampire was sure he had never wanted anything so bad in his life — no other person, or blood, or freedom. Everything about this, about you, was making his mind swirl and heart pound like he had never experienced. Your scent — the sweet aroma of your bouquet, and the soap from last night. Your taste, like the richest wine and sweet honey pastries. The dichotomy of your gentle, tender kisses and the powerful, all-consuming ones you bestowed to him now. The little lavender house with the soft melodies and songs that had quite literally saved him for the past year, belonging to you.

“Starry,” You moaned out breathlessly as he trailed his kisses down your chest and throat, collarbones and sternum.

“Mmm, I can’t decide.” He purred into your skin, keeping up his touches with his lips and hands between his words.

“Decide what?” You panted slightly above him.

“Where I want you. The bed. This piano. Right here on the floor.”

You pulled away, your eyebrows furrowing softly, “Astarion, we don’t have to do anything you don’t—”

But he grabbed your chin with his thumb, catching your bottom lip slightly, as he made you look at him. “Are you going to make me beg?”

“What?”

“I want you — desperately. I ache for you, darling. And you are so sweet and considerate and have been so, so very patient. But I will beg if you want me to. Will that get the point across?” He sank to his knees in front of you, kneeling on the worn wooden floorboards of your rented townhouse. The tips of his fingers trailed down the back of your thighs delicately as he steadied himself for balance. “I love you. I need you. Please—”

You stopped his rambling as you bent over to kiss him, cutting off his words before pulling him off of the floor. “You don’t beg or kneel anymore, not to anyone and especially not to me.” You held either side of his face, staring intensely at him. “Do you truly want this?”

“Yes,” He said simply, his red eyes round and soft. Putting his hand on the outside of yours, stilling holding his cheek. His voice dropped an octave, barely more than a whisper as the building sensation of arousal and bliss started to form all over again. “Yes, my moon.”

Your lashes fluttered as you looked down to his lips and back up to his eyes. He knew they were a mirror to his own, shining with deep, true emotion. “Anything for you, my love. I am yours.”

The sound that escaped him was cut off as you pushed your lips back onto his.

Read the next part here

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fashion-foxy · 23 days ago

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Heyyyyy so you know how in modern Disney channel movies (Im specifically talking about the Zombies and Descendants franchises as those are movies ive seen but I do think some of these traits are in other disney channel movies like Highschool Musical) the bad guys are always loud flamboyant theater kids? And how the good guys are always good morally upstanding people who have either were raised in the American Dream(tm) (nuclear family, upper middle class, perfect grades everything's going great) or live in a poorer situation but are still good people who will eventually get the picture perfect American Dream(tm)?

Yeahhh I hate to say it but that's kinda based off the formula of classic (when i say classic i mean Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Not Renaissance era) Disney Princess movies where you have the same villain and hero formula.

Now, why am I treating any of this as a bad thing? Well, that was probably based on how villains were deliberately given queer traits to seem more villainous. You see, back in when Snow White and other classics were being worked on there were codes in place to ban queerness from being shown on film because queer people are the devil and they're gonna corrupt you and your kids if you don't watch out! Or some other stupid homophobic shit like that. So, it being the 30s, naturally, people aren't too keen on the concept of gay people. So, what's an easy way to get people to immediately let your audience know just from looking at them that your villains are evil? Give them stereotypical queer traits, of course!

And it's the exact opposite with Disney heroes! Have princesses be traditionally feminine whatever that time periods version of being a 'good woman' is. Could range from being good at cleaning and never going against authority, and even if she eventually does, make it be in the nicest way possible. Or, have her be a strong and independent woman who doesn't need a man. But, you usually focus on the woman because she's the driving force who goes through all the terrible things, and the men shouldn't be all too present because she either doesn't need a knight in shining armour or he's only there to provide the American Dream Happily Ever After.

Another thing we see in classic is the movie must always return the status quo. We can change some things about the poor area but not change it too much. I.e. we can get rid of the border but not actually do anything to combat classism or help the poor people not be poor. If the our main character is rich they stay in on their side of the border in their rich area. If the main character is poor they get to be honorary rich person but they'll have a plot line where they're not like the other girls and are having a really hard time being rich. This will conclude with them saying something about how, "They're not rich they'll poor at heart!" Which means they'll gonna be rich and wear black and be a bit quirky.

So, in classic movies the heros have a very conservative/heteronormative view of the world and way of life. While the villians possess queer traits and our the ones trying to make any changes to the system. But the thing is, NOTHING has actually changed in these modern Disney channel movies! They still use the same formula! The only difference now is that they get to queer bait audiences now!

Here are some great videos about how the formula of Disney characters has changed over the years. If you want to hear more on this subject:

https://youtu.be/OkadXlv_eA0?si=Z_avjkQKIpxGRyvf

https://youtu.be/HYh4e9u5HuE?si=4eFwcBd-iI-PTq03

Sidenote:

This is also why I love eah so much. Literally subverts the very idea of Disney style fairytales in a brilliant way. I'll never get over the fact that it lost to descendants.

#ever after high #eah #descendants #disney descendants #zombies #disney zombies #if you saw this before no you didnt #im sick ok cut me some slack

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nowritingonthewall · 2 years ago

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Pspsps... Your adorable kissing headcannon with Steven ive not stopped thinking about all day and I'd really love to see one about Marc. I know he's probably not as open with his affection but I still think he'd have his own little ways to show love.

Maybe if you have time and you want to? Pleaseee

It makes me so giddy that you enjoyed Steven’s sweet lil’ kisses 🥰 (and I would like to apologize for the sprinkles of angst that I never seem to be able to go without when it comes to Marc 🥺)

A kissing/affection headcanon for Marc Spector x gn!reader

- Marc would need so much reassurance when it comes to showing any kind of affection for you. After all, the idea of the touch of a hand being caring and loving and beautiful has been more of an abstract concept to him than something he has been allowed to learn from experience. And there will always, always be a part of him that can’t help wonder whether his advances are actually welcome.

- The first shy little kiss to your hand happens almost by accident. You’ve been playing with his hands after finding out how much it soothes his anxious mind and he gets so lost in your calming touch that he can’t help but plant the softest of kisses to your fingers. The startled look he gives you afterwards, like a puppy waiting to be scolded, breaks your heart.

Even though his self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy may lessen a little further with every kiss that is met with your comforting tenderness instead of rejection, he never quite loses those puppy dog eyes whenever he goes in for a kiss. His usually tense and guarded expression will soften and give way to the warmest and gentlest eyes that melt your heart before he’s even started to lean in.

Marc’s kisses are neither casual nor meaningless nor half-hearted. He puts his whole heart and soul into every single one of them. While they are always tender and soft (as if he was afraid to hurt you), they never leave any doubt about how he feels about you.

- Marc gives the best hugs imaginable (and sometimes even better than that). It takes some time to weaken the shields he built around his soft and gentle heart over the years, but once they start to crumble, he’ll make you feel like he was born to hug you. It’s a wonderful way to act upon his deeply protective instincts without using his crescent darts and it conveys everything that he can’t find the words for (yet). He has so much love and warmth to give and somehow he manages to distil those feelings and pour them into every single one of his hugs. They don’t just make you feel loved and safe and cared for, they make you feel like nothing in the world can hurt you, as long as you are lying in his arms.

Detecting even the subtlest of shifts in the mood of people around him used to be something of a survival strategy for him, which means that he sometimes notices when you start feeling sad before you even register it yourself. Whether something goes wrong at work, a co-worker keeps driving you around the bend, you’re exhausted, or you’re just feeling a little lost. He’s simply there, carefully wrapping his arms around you, briefly hesitating until you either lay a reassuring hand on his or he can feel you relaxing into his embrace. Whatever has been troubling you begins to dissolve, as he holds you close, letting you bury your face in his shoulder, resting his cheek against yours, gently stroking your back in a soothing rhythm. Just when you think that you’re as close as humanly possible, he somehow manages to draw you even closer towards his heart. It doesn’t take long until your problems don’t appear so overwhelming any more. And he is never the first one to let go.

- You can usually tell who is fronting in the morning before even opening your eyes. Because where Steven is an adorable little Mr. Grumpypants who needs to be dragged out of bed by his feet in the morning, Marc is usually wide awake and up before your alarm clock even gets so much as a chance of thinking to disturb your dreams. On those mornings, you wake to the smell of your favourite tea (or any other morning brew) that’s been placed on your night stand. It takes a few mornings for him to work up the courage to accompany your cuppa with a soft and gentle good morning kiss. He probably would have bailed a few more times if he hadn’t suddenly found his legs being redirected to your bed by Jake with Steven giving him a pep talk on how you won’t be mad at him for waking you up because he is actually the one making the bloody business of having to get up in the morning so much better for you.

While his tender good morning kisses tend to get a little steamier as he gains more confidence, he always takes care not to hit anything too sensitive in order to prevent things from escalating and making you a few hours late for work. Which works most of the time. Sometimes. Once or twice. Okay, actually it just worked once so far, but it was a very good “once”. It’s just too tempting too pull him towards you, letting your hand glide over his back ever so tenderly, playing with his hair, gently massaging his scalp until he whimpers helplessly into your neck, slowly melting into a human pancake. He used to be way too anxious and stressed to stay in bed for even a minute after waking up. Now he wouldn’t mind lying in bed with you like that all day.

- Marc is not the type of man to run towards you in the middle of Trafalgar Square to give a public display of a kiss so passionate that it leaves the lions at Nelson’s column covered in steam. His ways of showing his affection for you in front of other people are far more subtle. Holding your hand as you walk down the streets together, squeezing it now and then as if to make sure that you are still there. Pulling you a little closer when there is a crowd or whenever he senses potential unpleasantness by strangers. When he was on his own, he didn’t think twice about wandering around the most dangerous districts of the city. Now, with you by his side, he suddenly avoids the less safe routes and tenses at the slightest signs of trouble. They never feel possessive, his hand on the small of your back or his arm around you waist. They are just a heart-warming reminder that you have someone looking out for you who would always have your back, no matter what.

If he can’t stop himself from pulling you in for a proper kiss, he’ll find a little alleyway, a hidden corner or something else to find shelter behind. Just something that makes him feel a little safer to let his guard down in public like that. The hidden alleyways always make you feel like giggly little school kids. And to be fair, he didn’t get to experience a lot of that during his actual school days, so you are more than happy to help him make up for that.

- During the colder months, he offers you his gloves and scarf as soon as you show the slightest sign of a shiver. He would give you his coat if you didn’t object vehemently to his attempts to do so. Unless you’re waiting together at a bus stop and he simply can’t take your discomfort any longer. He’ll immediately open his coat for you, inviting you to share it with him. The cold, the grey sky and the seemingly never-ending chilling London drizzle are quickly forgotten as you snuggle up to him, resting against his broad and comfy chest, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling the comforting safety of his embrace, bathing in his endless warmth. You can’t help but being a little disappointed whenever the bus decides to choose that exact moment to arrive on time for a change.

- Marc is the most ticklish one out of the three boys. He has never had a chance to find out before because nobody has actually ever really tried to tickle him until now. You find out by pure coincidence, when Marc fronts during a pillow and tickle fight between Steve and you. After a few timid attempts by him to tickle you, you ask him whether you may show him how it is done, which results in him making the cutest little squeaky noises you’ve ever heard. Not being able to resist drawing even more of those adorable sounds from him, you immediately launch an attack that makes him squeal even louder before his squeals turn into laughter and his laughter turns into hiccups. You barely know how to contain the fuzzy warmth blooming in your chest upon seeing him so completely relaxed and at ease. He actually considers begging for mercy when he sees the look of pure happiness on your face and he decides that he would do anything to keep you looking at him like that.

- While Steven sees his little kisses as a way to emphasize his declarations of love for you, it’s the other way around for Marc. It’s the closeness and warmth and safety of countless intimate moments that finally give him the courage to put it into words without having to fear your reaction.

“I love you, too, Marc!”

#marc spector #moon knight #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #marc spector headcanons #fanfiction #marc x you #my headcanons #chrissie tries to write #chrissie gifs

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pixiecaps · 4 months ago

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Hello! For the ask game:

Viajante, Parasita da Culpa, Zumbi de Sangue and Síndico Sydney: chose 3 characters and say how do you think they would play Minecraft 🫵 (like.would they really be into building? Would they die every 3 minutes, would they Speedrun the game immediately? Etc)

Viajante - What are moments that make you smile?

i think all the moments between arthur kaiser and joui honestly. the domestic nature between all of them. that love they all held for each other and they were always ALWAYS there for one another. i always think back to you know kaisers attacks and joui & arthur comforting him and kaiser taking a photo of them both so he could see them smile all the time. and man. the canon info of joui going over and cooking for ivette, arthur, and kaiser japanese & brazilian cuisines. and that it was either hit or miss on whether joui burnt it. and you know that bliss between the three and their little family. i think about all of jouis little jealous moments if someone stole away kaiser or arthurs affections. i think about that one photo kaiser drew on. i think about how arthur had lost so much in osnf and he still built up these bonds with people and he gained a new family! and i think about all the shared cigarettes between kaiser & arthur and i think about joui my body is a temple jouki only smoking if its with arthur or kaiser. i think about how kaiser could only look arthur and joui in the eyes. and i think about how they were each others rocks

Parasita da culpa - Which moment or concept would you change if you could, and how?

already answered but i’ll say something else. the change made to transcending after desconjuração. they nerfed my mechanic💔

Zumbi de Sangue - Favourite creature?

hmmmmm you know right now i’d say. its very close between two creatures but the one that takes first place is O Viajante. terrifying. INTENSE. those are scenes that i will never forget because the whole additional aspect the creature brought it was. unforgettable. definitely some of my favorite combats to date ive watched in ordem.

Síndico Sydney - Choose 3 characters and say how do you think they would play Minecraft

omg this is such a fun question

kaiser would be so tryhard when it comes to pvp he’d play on sooo many servers to train he’d love doing shit with strategy and learning how to best kill people. he’d probably have some anonymous reputation online as “Angel of the Night” where no one knows who he is but they all know that when hes there theyre all doomed. he WILL SWEEP. i imagine he has a dark looking skin with like a cloak or something. kinda bbh vibe but all black perhaps

but then when arthur suggests to do a multiplayer world hes so down and its funny cause this sorta infamous pvp god playing with two pretty indifferent players: arthur and joui.

arthur would be decent hes not as good at pvp like kaiser but hes good with the controls and he knows how to play which is the most important part. he takes more of a leadership role with gathering resources and making super efficient farms for the other two to never worry about anything. he’d probably also build their house but its not like hes an incredible builder its just a regular shack but its their regular shack<3 they all have their beds next to each other

which is where we get to joui. he’d be the one begging arthur to collect dyes in their colors like red, green, purple so all their beds are cute and together. he’d be. pretty shit with controls and. everything. he doesnt really understand the game or the point he only agreed to play because he didnt want to miss out on arthur kaiser time. the fomo. so thats how he gets himself involved into this “minecraft” shit. all he does really is follow arthur or kaiser around on their adventures. arthur would probably give joui instructions like collect all the stones with black stuff thts coal and joui would actually do good at that. if hes given a mission he’ll complete it smoothly. kaiser likes trying to train joui but he’s a longgg way from being a pro pvp player like him but kaiser encourages him and tries to make him understand how critting works. joui and kaiser probably go out at night to fight mobs together to get specific resources arthur needs and joui probably dies a couple times but he doesnt back down

they end up having a pretty nice world and maybe with a few months of playing joui can actually hold his ground. kaiser collects flowers to put around their shack and arthur starts wanting to add mods and. theyre happy. they play any free time they have off missions.

ask game

#pix asks aaaa

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definitelynotshouting · 1 year ago

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I think I asked earlier and I forgot the answer or maybe you hadn’t decided yet, but you recently mentioned the difference between spawned players and born players again. I think you mentioned spawned players are more common - are any of the people we know and love (hermits or otherwise) born rather than spawned? Or are they all spawned??

I’m fascinated by the concept of spawned vs born players actually, and the way you said they’d have to get a comm specially made and fitted. Is there a minimum age a player needs to be for this? Actually what’s the lifespan of a player like, and how old are born players and spawned players each when they reach a similar developmental stage? I presume it’s different because spawned players are in a single player world alone whereas I assume born players are babies and thus need caring for?? Or how does that work.

I’m just. Fascinated anew by this concept which I had forgotten about until you mentioned it haha.

Omg hello!!! I genuinely dont think ive seen your previous ask, but 😅😅 i have a lot of them in my inbox rn, so i very well may have intended to reply and then lost the notification and accidentally forgotten

Either way, some of your questions have been answered in one of the very first posts i ever made about hunger au!!! Which means its probably VERY easy to miss since theres so much content in the tag now 💀 i really do need to post a link to my current masterlist for yall so it'll be easier to keep track of lore WODNKDNSKSK new project time YIPPEEEE <- loves organizing

As for the stuff that isnt included in that post, i'd say that yes, you do need to be of a certain age to get fitted with a comm-- im not quite sure what the requirement is, but its probably around when you first hit the double digits, maybe about 10ish?? Culturally it depends on the Player's parents/caretakers, but i think most born Players get their comms around ages 12-14.

Lifespan for Players is on the same level as arctic sponges here-- they live for a while before their code begins to destabilize of natural causes. Thousands of years at least. This is a pretty young universe relatively speaking, so several of the oldest Players who first spawned in are actually still around!!!

There are only two born Players on Hermitcraft, and those are Joe Hills and TFC. Mostly for vibes, and because the idea of the oldest looking hermit being technically younger than several of the others highly amuses me. Everyone else spawned in!! Since born Players are such a minority, it felt right to keep everyone else in the cast as spawned Players :]

Im so glad you like all this worldbuilding!!! :D everyone who says they find it fascinating makes me SO happy like i cannot even tell you, because for the longest time i felt like worldbuilding was one of my biggest weaknesses. So its really reassuring to hear im getting better at it and people enjoy it!! thank you for stopping by!! :]

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #hermitcraft #joe hills #tfc #mcyt #minecraft worldbuilding #txt

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dateamonster · 5 months ago

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i saw on your storygraph that youve read Playground by Aron Beauregard and gave it 1.5 stars. a coworker told me about the book and i was debating if i should read or if it would just be mental torment. what were your thoughts on the book?

first of all yayy i love when people check out my storygraph! now about playground, i should give a sorta disclaimer that i try not to rate books predominantly based on like my own enjoyment of them or agreement with the text as much as on how well i think the author achieved what they seemed to be trying to do. i didnt hate the book. at least, ive seen a lot of people responding to it with this sentiment of like "wtf a book like this should never have been made" and i seriously disagree with that. that said, i just don't think its very good lol.

imo it falls into the trap a lot of indie extreme horror writing does where it feels so in love with its own gratuitous grossness and shock value that it loses a lot of its impact as a whole. the writings not bad, most of the time, but you can sorta tell which scenes were the author really straining to disturb the audience as much as possible, and its not like it was entirely unaffective. just... mostly.

storywise... there were a lot of characters and most of them got very little development, especially the ones that actually stood to be somewhat interesting. it rushes pretty quick into the horror so theres not really any sense of anticipation, and from there its just kind of beat after beat after beat with no escalation or sense of resolution. there are aspects i find interesting- a multi level saw trap styled after a massive playground is a really fun concept imo, and the dynamics of one particular family make me wish it was kinda just about that family so the story could go deeper into their unique disfunctions, but the end result didnt really do it for me.

i think theres a lot of attention payed to the more shocking, grotesque aspects of the book in an "omg what did i just read aaa get the eye bleach" kinda way, and thats fair lol its pretty intense, but imo that discussion kinda distracts from the fact that its just really not a very good story. id probably check out a future book of arons because i think theres potential for growth but playground was not it for me.

thats my review! if it sounds like something youd be interested in evaluating for yourself, go for it! imo i dont think theres anything to be lost by reading a even bad book for yourself. but like definitely worth looking up the content warnings if you do.

#ask #playground aron beauregard #extreme horror #reviews

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geminid · 1 year ago

Text

just a bit of a rant about being a fan i guess

the idea for my artbook was smth i put together as long ago as 2018 and actually back then it was intended to be sort of my departure from the FE fandom as a lot of ppl i’d known since the start of the fates fandom in 2016 were also moving on and i wasn’t having the best time in the fandom. In true cringe comedy, I’m still here though, and superbright is becoming a real thing and I’ve thought a lot about it serving its original intended purpose: my last hurrah in this fandom.

truth is, i still love leokumi. i still have comic ideas and AUs and art concepts i wasnt originally skilled enough to do before but could now. i also rly enjoyed engage and i want to draw more fanwork for it too. and i wish this felt like enough i guess? that i love smth and want to draw it? because it was enough for a long while? but now im just lost because honestly ive had a miserable time in this fandom and all that misery is catching up to me. ive probably gotten worse as a person thanks to fire emblem fandom because i used to actually tweet on main and try to make friends and now all i’m capable of doing is hiding and keeping things to myself. i cant make connections and i can only be quiet because i led myself to believe that this was the only way to protect myself from everyone else (and it rly never worked bc id still regularly get stupid and rude comments on my posts). i cant bring myself to bug people who arent into my ships with my ship content either so i just have to. exist with them i guess. exist quietly. churn out art once in a while i guess. simply being and not much else.

i want to try to fix this though like. should i take a break? let everyone forget i existed? should i remake my accounts and take the gamble that a lot of my “mutuals-but-not-really-friends-yet-im-trying-tho” won’t follow me to my new account? what do i do with any art i make in the meantime since art is my main hobby and theres no way im not drawing? do i try to leave the fandom even though all of this could happen all over again somewhere else? what would you do in this situation? i cant seem to figure anything out besides that im miserable and i think it sucks that this is the result of what should have been 7 years of my love and dedication for a video game.

anyway this isnt smth i can burden an individual with so its typed out here to burden everyone equally. did anyone else read the alcry*t forging bonds where leo says he can use brynhildr to turn lcryst to slime. i wish i were reduced to slime. no more neck pain on account of having no neck and i would be cute like those dragon quest guys

#text post #nids being dumb

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kavehpilled · 17 days ago

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ALL of them.

OK SO YIU HATE ME

1. how many followers do you have?

somewhere around 1.7k i lost track a long time ago

2. whens the last time you went on a date?

june? its been so long ☹️

3. how many posts have you made?

WELL over 20k this account is 3 years old

4. what type of shoes do you wear?

white avia elevates or my blue converse

5. what color are the walls of your room?

cream at my moms, brown at my dads

6. where are you right now?

in english im about to pull the trigger

7. would you consider yourself good at art?

perchance…. i know im alright enough at it that people like my art and make it their pfp sometimes. i even have a mutual that printed a drawing i did of atsushi and put it on their wall💀

8. who was your first kiss?

you😛

9. do you still sleep with stuffed animals?

YEA LIKE 5 LMFAO

10. whats your favorite piece of clothing you own?

i have a really nice red cardigan that i basically live in at home

11. do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban all around i think i dont remember

12. whats your favorite store to shop at?

goodwill🫶

13. if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

gentle i think

14. do you collect anything?

classic novels! im restarting my collection of tiny bear figurines and friendship bracelets tho

15. whats the last thing you ate?

i had a banana applesauce like an hour ago :)

16. if you go to therapy, do you like your therapist?

i go once a month and shes nice! got me referrals for diagnoses so that was chill

17. whats one thing you want to buy, but dont have the money or resources to get it?

WRIOTHESLEY DOLL.

18. whos the first person you can think of?

you

19. how old were you when you found out santa wasnt real?

i think ~5? my cousin told me :(

20. if you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what would it be?

jjk bro pls revive and continue for me. i need satosugu to be happy

21. do you consider yourself a part of any alternative subculture?

i dont think so!

22. who was your childhood favorite music artist?

taylor swift or sir mix a lot

23. cds or record players?

despite my extensive cd collection i would say records

24. do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

i wish but i think too rationally for any of that

25. would you get back together with an ex if given the opportunity?

i think people always deserve a second chance and we are legitimate living proof of that, even if that concept like translates into relationships. im nowhere near ready for anything right now but if i ever got back together with ANYONE they would have to change a lot. i have hope in everyone tho

26. favorite kids show character?

kwazii from octonauts :)

27. is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend?

yeah!

28. when youre sad, do you prefer to listen to music to match your mood, or listen to happy music?

sad music all the way. i rarely cry so when im genuinely upset its nice to get it out to sad songs yk

29. whats the last outfit you wore?

im a chronic outfit repeater so. white turtleneck under a dark green sweater that has pumpkins all over it and dark brown cargo pants. ive worn this like 10 times

30. do you have any online friends?

YES alice ezra and skylia are the ones i talk to the most!! but i have a lot of mutuals i love interacting with ppl

31. least favorite clothing style that is currently popular?

those white fox hoodies make me carnally angry

32. how often do you do your laundry?

once a week at my dads, twice a week at my moms. its a weird system but i have more clothes at my moms currently

33. do you prefer silver or gold jewelry?

gold, silver makes me look sad and grungy

34. whats your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?

i like reading cherry crush on webtoon when im bored💀🙏

35. if you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?

id probably dye it to calico colors but im scared ill look like a goof

36. do you paint your nails?

sometimes! i did them blue like for a day and then i got bored. i pick at them too much so its like a little treat

37. whats an uncommon/specific/ obscure topic youre interested in?

vampire burial practices and eastern european rituals

38. whats the name of your first pet?

KITTY💀 he was an orange cat that got eaten by coyotes

39. whats one feature you would change on tumblr?

im not active enough to notice anything…

40. whats the most interesting item you own?

i think a tiny glass giraffe i love him

41. would you rather go on a date at a museum or a concert?

museum all the way i love intimacy with that kinda thing

42. whats one regret you have?

i could go into extensive detail about what i seriously regret in my life but i think my main one is not telling you enough before we split apart

#asks #cherry!#THIS TOOK FOREVER

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demonsteapot · 10 months ago

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What type of music do you like / have you been jamming to recently? Any recommendations?

(my internet died halfway through this so i nearly had to rewrite it)

you caught me at a bad time i was schmooving to a sewerslvt playlist yesterday ;-;

okay to be serious for a moment. uh. i don't think i have super good or interesting (or normal) tastes in music? i can point you to some of the things i think are cool and good, and i can also point you to things that i listen to for mood.

ive also probably mentioned some of these before (probably all of them?) so sorry if there's repeats

(okay this ended up being longer than expected so cut vv)

good (mostly not depressing stuff?):

Bill Wurtz – weirdly dreamlike jazzy stuff (?) i recommend 'At the Corner Store' and then i recommend you listen to all his other stuff

Ujico*/Snail's House: ive probably ranted about this guy before; 'Cosmo Funk' is probably your entry level snails house song. sweet adorable future bass, my go to for free serotonin

Heaven Pierce Her – Ultrakill: Violence, the game's newest EP. generally melancholic but really sick especially in context. 'War Without Reason' is probably my new favourite track in the whole game? (you can tell i like amen breaks lol)

also ofc i have to mention john / TOOBOE!! shout out to @donutinsideofashark for introducing me to this guy. some recs: 'Tablet', 'Roman', and 'Appare kanpai' – stuff goes hard and makes me wish i knew jp so i could actually remember lyrics

mood (depressing and/or weirder stuff):

vivivivivi's Dead but Dreaming: concept album about a dead god, mostly chiptune instrumental stuff until the second-last track – personally I LOVE this album, but as someone said, it probably sucks unless you have autism (disclaimer: i'm not diagnosed autistic, this is a reference to the pinned comment). this particular album influences a lot of my works to be honest

two more vivivivivi beepbox albums, ones that are a little more lively: Sisyphus and Silly Little Songs from my Silly Little Head. probably not to the tastes of sane and normal people but i like the beeps and boops :)

sewerslvt: breakbeat stuff from a dark place. people seem to not like sewerslvt fans which is why i'm reluctant to talk about this one but whatever. idk what you'd call their genre (i've heard it described as ambient jungle, trance, something or other dnb, but most importantly NOT breakcore. call sewerslvt breakcore and you are signing up for a hell of a flamewar) listen if you like amen breaks and hate yourself (i hope not…) idk what to even recommend here… i stumbled across her first with Drowning In The Sewer years ago. i've been getting back into their stuff recently, which is probably not a good sign for my mental health… currently listening to 'was it weird that i listened to im god by clams casino's when i lost my virginity' which is a hell of a title

Heaven Pierce Her again – The Enigma of Heaven and Other Daily Delusions: weird album about religion and the internet. since this is hakita again there are amen breaks. good if ur fuckin WEIRD. i recommend most of HPH's work

i've also been listening to an ultrakill fan artist called Marzuku, who does – guess what – more amen break stuff. i don't know man, but 'At Ends' is pretty good

shit fuck of course the jvne section ends up being a whole paragraph just to say don't listen to their stuff.

THAT'S IT IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS UP THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. damn this got long. this is what happens when you ask me about my interests LMFAO

#not art #bernadette rambles #ask #:333 #also sorry for the ping donut

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pwnyta · 4 months ago

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Genshin character Judgement after all these years of playing. I will judge looks, personality, and say my favorite voice! Now with 5-stars, alphabetical order.

(under the cut)

Still a goofy ass design. WHY DIDNT THEY JUST GIVE HIM PANTS? I dont understand. He'll probably never get a costume either since NO ONE FUCKING HAS HIM LMAO. His lore & personality are S-tier tho. Love his relationship with Klee and the brief time he was with Cyno.

I like all his VAs except his CN voice which makes him sound like... 8? girl what? Another rare L for CN casting director.

I fucking love Alhaitham. Hes such a dick.... but hes only a dick to people who step on his toes... which I think is fair. His design is terrific. i did have some pretty high hopes for him... and still kinda do since his design is so sus... but right now his lore is pretty underwhelming. Also hes one of those characters Id think look significantly better with a darker skin tone. Pasty bitch.

I like all his voices but JP is my favorite. KN is a close second.

SEE HYV you can make a sexy character that doesnt randomly show skin in weird places... Funny that. Arlecchino is great. Her lore is great, her personality is great, her design is great, her colors are great. Thumbs up all around.

Her voices are also great! I especially love how masc her JP voice is. Killin it as usual Father.

Ayaka... overall gets a resounding MEH from me.

I like her JP voice best. Which I guess is appropriate!

MY MORTAL ENEMY. never speak to me or my son (Venti) again. (I do like his relationship with his sister and Itto)

They could never make me like you Ayato. (I actually like all BUT his JP voice)

Baizhus design is so pleasant. However I saw someone say it looks like he accidentally put his clothes in the dryer and they shrunk.... and thats all I can think when I see him now. LMAO.

His EN voice is my favorite... I swear i thought he'd be shadier than he is because his voice reminded me so much of James from Pokemon or Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh... LMAO I dont even have to listen to his other voices... his EN just cracks me up. His CN voice fits his personality significantly more tho...LMFAO

OOH CHIORI. I dont really care for most of the Inazuma cast TBH... but DAMN Chiori... its like she took all the good design with her to Fontain. Whyd she do that to them. Shes also a BITCH. Its so funny. There was a dude crying because he was grateful for something (I dont remember) and this bitch said '...EW' and I fuckin lost it. Shes so good. GEO never misses with characters its crazy. Geo characters are either perfect aesthetically or personality or lore... most of the time ALL OF THEM (with the exception of Albedo who looks like a fuckin dork but his personality and lore S-tier)

I like all but her JP voice. But her EN voice sounds the bitchiest and its my favorite.

Another design where I saw the concepts and was completely disappointed by the design they chose. Honestly if they didnt go with this blue-purple color palate I probably wouldnt even dislike it... BUT HERE WE ARE. Her personality is great tho and her story with Navia is... *chef kiss*

All her voices are pretty good. I like her KN best! Rare W for KN!

THE BABIEST. I know Ive said this before and I will say it again... buy Cyno is the babiest. I love an Anubis theme. I love the colors. I ADORE his personality. It makes me so sad... in the Windblume festival he said his subdued personality is from when he was a child and the people would judge him for being from the desert region... and that he only tells jokes to people considers his friends... but all his friends dont like his jokes and get annoyed with him. Why do they do this to him... he also has a little tree branch he only brings his friends to... HES SO FUCKING CUTE. The fact a good chunk of the fandom characterize him as some tough dom daddy for Tighnari is fucking DIABOLICAL work. Never talk to me of my son ever again.

All his VAs are good but his CN is best.

Ya know what I JUST said... ANYWAYS DEHYA IS THE BABIEST. She is so god damn cute... and she looks so rough and tumble... I love that shes a girly girl at heart and her relationship with Candace is CRAZY work. HYV did me SO god damn dirty when being sent off to Fontaine by her... and she was so sad... I would NEVER leave her. My sister be damned.

I love all her voices! EN is my fav tho. It reminds me a lot of Beidou.

Oh Diluc... my former enemy turned ally. I dont like how he treats Kaeya... BUT it turned out a lot of my aggression for him was because I was scared Qiqi would be the last standard 5-star I would get.... & it would take forever to get her... tbf it did take until Zhonglis 3rd? banner before I got her. And I got her WITH Zhongli and I have never been happier playing GI. Zhongli saved Diluc for me. I hope you appreciate that man Diluc. I also didnt mind that I got him instead of Chiori.... I wanted Chiori significantly more but... w/e. ANYWAYS great colors, great lore. If he stopped being a dick to Kaeya we might get somewhere with him.

I like all his voices except JP where he sounds much younger... and I dont like it.

Now I dont think Eis design is bad in the least but she just looks like every other female character in Inazuma. In fact she basically has the same exact silhouette as Kokomi but I like Kokos design better. They also kinda dropped the ball on her whole character... Shes never recovered from her second story for me. Still my least favorite Archon. I do like her relationship with Yae tho.

All her voices get a MEH from me. KN is best I guess.

UGH. Some of her concept art was SO FUCKIN GOOD... and this is what we got... smdh. I liked her puppy idea the best... cuz shes a perfumer and also works for the cops... I just think that concept was fun.

I dont know her voices either but HER EN IS DEFINITELY MY LEAST FAVORITE. IM SO SURE OF IT.

I had a hard time warming up to Eula... I found her SO annoying in her quest and her constant 'At least LUCK doesnt discriminate due to clan' or some shit just irritates me... like... GIRL. Your clan was slave owners and theyre still shitty... just fuckin disown them and start a new life bitch. Her relationship with Amber is very cute tho and her design is great.

I dont really care for ANY of her voices but especially JP...

Furina is one of those characters that are annoying but its still hard to hate her cuz shes funny. (Like Fish) and i really didnt like her at first until her story played out... my poor hapless bitch. You didnt deserve any of that.... her design is great. I like her dark outfit significantly more than the light so Im glad its the more useful mode. Her relationship with Neuv is also just terrific.

Much like with Fish... her EN voice is best for me because its so dramatic and comically annoying. All her other voices make her sound way too young for my tastes.

I love Ganyu! I guess shes also in the running for sleepiest girl with Layla and Sayu. Shes super cute... I do have a lot of issues with her outfit design... just cuz it doesnt even look like an outfit. Thank goodness she got a costume... not that I have it but I also dont have her and I would never pull for a Bow DPS 5-star so i never WILL have her LMAO. Still love her to death tho.

All her voices are good! KN is probably my favorite.

I think Hu Tao is one of the best designs in the game. Its so simple but so effective. Shes so cute and cheeky. Love her. Her personality is also top tier. Im so happy she had such a confrontational relationship with Baizhu... cuz that was my headcanon for the longest time LMAO Cuz shes a funeral director with a massive respect for the life/death cycle and he wants to find a cure for death or someshit.... They had to have some sort of clash. And they did. It reminds me of that one Jojo meme.

I LOVE Hu Taos EN voice and her JP voice is also fun. Her CN and ESPECIALLY KR (have I been puttin KN this entire time...) voice sounds too babyish.

MY MANS ITTO. Such a fuckin idiot. His design and character are great its just a shame... when he was first leaked his model was super tall (way taller than Zhongli) which fits how people describe him in game but they pussied out and gave him a standard male design. We coulda had it all Itto.

I dont need to listen to the other VAs Ittos EN VA is just the best. The only way anyone else could have competed is if the JP voice was the same VA as Franky from One Piece.

I used to really like Jean.... but I dont really care for her anymore. Tho I think she looks better in her censor outfit she still inexplicably has the detached sleeves....

All her voices are fine. EN and KR are probably the best.

Kazuha is unfortunately a victim to HYVs inability to implement good cloth movement in the game. The shorts look SUPER goofy but I guess its fine.... I think he'd look better with his hakama tucked in like Itto & Gorou rather than cut short... but W/e besides that his design is great. I like when characters dont exactly have the color of their element and the autumn maple leaf design of Kazu is great. His personality is also great. Super chill in even the most tense moments... with the exception for when Xinyans family were nitpicking her and he got annoyed. RELATABLE CONTENT.

4 good VAs for Kazuha you go Kazuha!

I have an EXTREME soft spot for Keqing... she was my first 5-star and she helped me so much on Dragonspine when I had no business being in Dragonspine. LMAO Detached sleeves aside I rather like her standard outfit but her costume is MUCH cuter and if I had the money... I would have bought it in a heartbeat. I also like her personality for the most part tho she does bully the shit outta you if you stop moving for .5 seconds.

All her voices are pretty good but I still have a soft spot for her EN....

Klee is SO DAMN CUTE. Does her pale skin hair and red eyes make her look like a bit of a troglodyte? YES. but.... I mean... w/e. Shes very cute. Shame about her kit being so fucking clunky. My greatest achievement is incidentally getting Kazuha instead of her... I wanted her for how cute she was but I needed a good Anemo so i figured a 5-star Anemo would be best.... so I got him instead. Then his universal appeal and fun play style really helped me for a long ass time and people begged for his rerun cuz they skipped him. NOT ME BITCH.... anyways Klee is baby.

I think Klees EN voice is one of the most egregious when it comes to the 'this is obviously a grown woman doing a baby voice' and it takes me awhile to adjust to it... but she does have moments when she shines... like the birthday song. Her CN voice is best.

As I said with Ei... Kokos design reminds me of hers but I think its stylized better. Combined with her in-game movements... I think shes one of the more interesting Ina designed girls. She does have a lot of HYV typical girl design elements tho.... Also her lore and personality really didnt meet expectations. SORRY KOKO. I am suspicious about her lack of pupils... Vishap ass lore ass...

I dont really like any of her VAs either...

This is just Albedo in a sluttier outfit. MEH. Lore and personality-wise hes actually great! I love his relationship with his family its really a stand out big brother (ok Hoebedo) vibes.

I dont really mind any of Lyneys voices... his KR VA stands out?

Mona my babygirl. I used to hate her based on her design. I just didnt like the swimsuit look... but like Fish I ended up loving everything about her and she got a censor outfit that is much better and now shes one of my favorite characters. Shes a goofy broad. Loved her in the 2nd Summer event.

Her EN voice is BY FAR my favorite.

My baby Nahida... youre design is so fucking boring.... and I knew that even before I saw your extremely good concept arts. Luckily her personality and lore HARD CARRIES her to top tier.... and also her kit. Her kit is also good... tho I dont get why she got a weird digital aesthetic? Theres so much good aesthetic designs in the Persian empire you could went with so much... howd she end up so boring... I dont get it.

No complaints for any of her VAs but CN is my favorite.

UGH... on the opposite end of designs... Navias is fucking TERRIFIC. I actually love the dark navy blue with this goldenrod. I like her Princess Peach hair especially since in this Summer event she wore a Peach like crown(and a Mario mustache) her Lore is SO GOOD. I knew when she was added to the Summer event cast it AT LEAST would be better than last year the writers have never missed with Navia. AND I WAS RIGHT I loved this years Summer event. I think her character is what Kokomis character coulda been(impact-wise) in Inazuma was good. LMAO

I dont mind her VAs but EN is my favorite!

Similar to Kazuha I sorta just incidentally pulled for Neuvillette since I had been saving to get Zhongli but my computer didnt come until the day after his banner ended so I was like ... fuckit. May as well get A dragon guy... turns out he was VERY good and I havent regretted it. I also managed to get his C1 and his BiS weapon... got super lucky as a reward for missing out on my C4 Zhongli that I had been waiting a year for...His lore and personality were a great surprise too. 10/10 would pull again.

I dont like JP voice... His EN voice is great but similar to Zhongli(hes SO SIMILAR TO ZHONGLI IN EVERY WAY) his EN voice gives a different vibe to his CN its weird. Theyre both so much more soft spoken... especially the fighting noises... whyd they do that? Weird. I love theyre EN voices tho so... w/e... at least they sound soft when theyre speaking normally.

...UGH.

UGH. (I actually didnt mind her in this years event... but Navia hard carried her)

Her CN voice is good.

MY BABY!!!! I wanted her for so long. Thank you Zhongli for bringing her to me!!! ;w; Shes so cute... I love her so much. I hope we get her story quest soon.... her colors are so good... I love cutesy Jiangshi designs ;w; the baby. I also first cleared the Abyss thanks to her!

Her CN voice is SO cute. But I like all her voices... I didnt like her EN voice at first but it has grown on me.

Part 1 END.

#GI tag.

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