#it was absolutely amazing how she kept all the boys completely scrambling

[sketchnskribbles]

Rise August Art Challenge

9. Piebald

TMNT 🐢

[iamgonnagetyouback]

𝟷𝚔 || 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄…?

♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Tooth rotting fluff, James being an oblivious idiot

♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: oblivious!James Potter x fem!reader

James Potter had been in a mood all day, sulking in the corner of his dorm, chin resting on his knees as he stared dramatically at the wall. His glasses were askew, hair even messier than usual, and the sighs he kept releasing were loud enough to echo in the stone room.

“James, you’ve got to stop,” Remus said from his bed, flipping the page of his book. "It's exhausting just watching you."

James let out another exaggerated sigh, flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling now. “Y/N used to call me James,” he said in a low, defeated voice.

Sirius, perched on his own bed, raised an eyebrow and looked at Remus, baffled. "Mate," he said flatly, "that's because it’s your fucking name."

James groaned, as if Sirius had physically slapped him with that reminder. "But now she’s going on a date… with someone else.” His voice broke at the end, his hand dramatically placed over his heart like he was on the verge of tears.

Remus, looking for the quickest way out of this melodramatic spiral, rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know who the date is with.”

“And that,” James sat up again, his hair sticking up like he’d been struck by lightning, “is the worst part! It could be anyone. Maybe that bloke from Ravenclaw with the fancy broom. Or worse, Snivellus.”

Sirius barked a laugh. “Snivellus? Dating Y/n? You’ve lost it, Prongs.”

Just then, there was a knock on the dorm door. Before James could collapse back into his theatrics, Peter jumped up to answer it. “I’ve got it!”

He pulled the door open, and there you stood, dressed up and looking absolutely stunning. Peter's jaw dropped, Remus immediately smiled, and Sirius gave a low whistle.

“You look amazing, darling!” Sirius grinned, eyeing James, who had turned his back to the door the second Peter opened it.

You smiled at them, giving a small twirl. "Thanks, boys!" Then, you glanced at James, who's now dramatically slumped against the headboard. “James, are you ready to go?”

James stiffened, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Ready?” He didn’t turn around, muttering, “Why would I be ready? I’m not going to third wheel on your date.” His voice cracked at ‘date,’ and you blinked, totally confused.

“What are you talking about, James?” you asked, giggling. “You are my date.”

That got his attention.

James scrambled to turn around, almost toppling off the bed. “Wait—what? Me? How? When?”

You tilted your head, laughing softly. “Yesterday, I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me, and you said yes.”

James blinked at you, utterly confused. He slowly turned to Remus, who gave him a look that said ‘You absolute idiot.’ Then, to Sirius, who rolled his eyes, and finally to Peter, who gave him an encouraging thumbs-up.

Realization hit him like a bludger to the head. “You weren’t joking?” he asked in disbelief, his face turning bright red.

You raised an eyebrow, still amused. “No, James, I wasn’t joking. Did you really think I was asking someone else?”

James jumped up so fast, he nearly tripped over his own feet. “Oh Merlin’s beard,” he muttered, rushing toward the door. “Give me two seconds, I—uh—just—hold on!”

He slammed the door in your face before you could even react.

You blinked at the wood in front of you, completely baffled. “Did he… just shut the door?”

Inside, James was rushing around like a madman, pulling off his shirt, rummaging through his trunk, grabbing a new one, throwing things around in the chaos. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” he shouted at no one in particular, though it was probably aimed at Remus and Sirius.

“We did, mate,” Sirius snickered. “You just didn’t listen.”

James finally yanked on a half-decent shirt, and in his frantic haste, he opened the door, nearly knocking you over. He grabbed your hand, pulled you inside the dorm, and then he bolted out, closing the door behind him.

You were now standing alone in the middle of the boys' dorm, looking completely confused while the three Marauders tried and failed to stifle their laughter. Sirius doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“James… you’re killing me,” Remus wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye.

You glanced at them with a raised brow. “Is he always like this?”

“Only when he’s madly in love,” Peter grinned.

Before you could respond, there was another knock. The door creaked open, and there stood James, leaning against the doorframe, slightly out of breath, hair still a mess. His cheeks were bright red, and he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“You look gorgeous,” he said, voice soft and sincere, his eyes wide with awe.

You couldn’t help but smile at his flustered, dorky charm. “Took you long enough to notice,” you teased, and he chuckled sheepishly.

Sirius called out, “Don’t leave her waiting again, Prongs!”

James held out his arm, and you gladly took it, flashing a playful grin at the other boys before the two of you headed out the door.

Sirius gave a final, dramatic sigh from behind you. "Our boy's growing up."

Remus just shook his head, laughing.

[brettsey-two-tts]

Fic title: fireworks

Brettsey

It's a Friday. I'll go with an AU. :)

Sylvie Brett was the smallest kid in her class and her best friend Hope never let her forget that.

Every year during the Fourth of July break, Sylvie, her brother, mother, and father would travel to Chicago and see the fireworks display on the Navy Pier. They would park their car at the Belmont Harbor before noon and set up a few lawn chairs and a little picnic blanket with all the food fixings. A very sizable crowd would start to dwindle in as it got nearer and nearer to the time the fireworks were supposed to go off. Before the 10-minute countdown, everyone would scramble for a good spot. Sylvie, being the smallest, had the hardest time because there was always someone taller than her blocking her view. She didn't want to ask her dad to put her on his shoulders and risk blocking other people's views, so she ran around, looking for the best spot for the smallest person.

As the fireworks went off in the background, Sylvie was still searching. She ran up a few concrete steps and tried to see if she could view the fireworks under an archway but there were a lot of adults blocking her and she could only see the tops of the fireworks after they'd already gone off. She huffed a bit and ran back down the steps. She started to go as west as she could, towards the outer edge of the lake. She passed by a few groups of people until she was practically on the edge of the lake. She stood between two trees with the best view of the fireworks she could find and it was absolutely amazing. Her eyes lit up at the uninterrupted display; vibrant colors filled her vision as she cupped her hands over her ears to muffle the sudden sharp popping.

"Whoa," she gasped as the fireworks continued to go off.

A few minutes later, in her peripheral vision, a boy practically twice her size stepped in beside her. She curiously looked over at him and saw his wondrous expression underneath the bright glowing lights of the fireworks. He looked so excited and happy. There was no one around them - no other families or groups of people. They were the only two people on the edge of the lake. At first, she thought of moving away since he was a complete stranger, but for some reason, she felt completely fine. Maybe it was the kindness in his smile.

After the fireworks ended, the boy turned to face her and that's when she saw the most wonderful and calming blue eyes she had ever seen. His hair was sand-colored and soft looking. Before he could say anything, her dad called out for her.

"Sylvie! We're going to leave!"

She apologized softly and started to run in her father's direction.

.

The same thing happened a year later. Sylvie would run out towards the edge of the lake and watch the fireworks, and the boy would join her. They wouldn't talk to each other, other than gasp in awe at the spectacular display.

Like before, when the fireworks stopped, her father would call out to her. This time, Sylvie waved goodbye to the boy and he waved back, smiling handsomely as she left.

.

A year later, the two met at the same spot but this time, they met early, a few minutes before the fireworks. They smiled and waved at each other.

"You got taller," he said in observation.

The top of her head was now at his shoulder. She grinned and replied, "Maybe I'll be taller than you someday."

He chuckled. "That means I can sit on your shoulders, right?"

As soon as the fireworks went off, the boy turned his attention to them, but Sylvie kept staring at him. Hope always said that she was like an empath, that she had an innate ability to know how someone was feeling even if she didn't know them. She could tell the boy was really sad, even though he was smiling.

They said goodbye to each other again, promising to see each other next year.

.

The next year, Sylvie came out onto the edge of the lake a little earlier than last time. In her arms was a container of macadamia white chocolate chip cookies that she and her mom baked the night before. They previously won an award at her school and wanted to share them with the boy.

But, the boy never showed up. She thought he was just running late, so she kept the cookies in their container. Even when the fireworks were going off, she refused to eat them. After the fireworks, Sylvie waited for him, thinking he would still show, but he never did. On the ride back to their hotel room, Sylvie placed the container in her lap and opened it, and sadly bit into one of the cookies. Her heart ached but she was too young to understand why.

.

"Sorry, I'm late."

Sylvie looked up from her spot on the grass and saw the boy's charming smile. His sand-colored hair was shorter and he seemed taller, and his voice was deeper than she remembered. She smiled beautifully at him and offered him the container of macadamia white chocolate chip cookies. He sat down beside her and curiously pulled back the lid.

"You weren't here last year," she mentioned.

"Uh, yeah. I had some family stuff to take care of." It wasn't a lie but it also wasn't the truth. Sylvie could tell he sounded a little upset and sad. "Oh man, these cookies are amazing!"

She beamed proudly. "I brought them last year."

He felt a little bad and continued to eat the one in his hand. "I'm glad you brought them again." He ate three that night.

.

The next year, Sylvie waited out on the edge of the lake but the boy didn't show up.

The year after that, she, again, waited out on the edge of the lake, and he didn't show up again.

She went through three years of fireworks without seeing him and assumed whatever family stuff he had to take care of must've been important. Since she was about to start High School and her brother was leaving for College, her family decided to stop going to the fireworks in Chicago.

.

Twenty years later, Sylvie left Fowlerton and moved to Chicago where she became a paramedic at Firehouse 51. She loved her firehouse family dearly and grew close to each and every single one of them. In her first year of working at the firehouse, she found out that she was working on the Fourth of July. On the holiday, she wanted to make those same macadamia white chocolate chip cookies for the firehouse but they were called out too frequently and she didn't get the chance to make them. Instead, on the dot, she would walk out onto the driveway and watch the fireworks that shot off from the Navy Pier. It was no 'on the edge of the lake' spot but she made do with what she had.

Matt Casey, the Captain of Firehouse 51, stepped in beside her and beamed at the display.

"Too bad we're not closer," he said.

She shrugged and smiled. "It's better than nothing." As the fireworks went off in the distance, a familiar warmth spread within her. The situation felt so similar to the one she had as a kid. She frowned sadly at the realization that she might never see that boy again.

.

For the next two years, Sylvie worked on the Fourth of July, and every single time, she would plan to make those cookies but, like clockwork, they'd be called out too often.

She would end up on the driveway, watching the fireworks, and Matt Casey would be beside her.

.

The next Fourth of July was a weird one; everyone anticipated dozens of calls, back-to-back, but instead, they were met with silence. Mouch mentioned it in the common room and Cruz shushed him to prevent any jinxing.

With some downtime, Sylvie made those macadamia white chocolate chip cookies. As soon as they came out of the oven, Capp and Herrmann were practically vultures. After their first cookie, she smacked their hands and sternly told them to let others have a chance to try one.

A couple of minutes before the fireworks were supposed to start, she walked out onto the driveway with one of her cookies in her hand. She beamed softly at it as she went down Memory Lane; she remembered being so excited. She remembered spending the previous day in the kitchen with her family, making sandwiches, cookies, drinks, and other snacks. She remembered helping her dad load up the car the next morning. She remembered laughing with that boy on the edge of the lake right before the fireworks. She remembered his soft smile and little wave right before she ran back to her family.

"Otis said you made these."

Sylvie turned her head and saw Matt's curious expression. She saw the cookie in his hand.

She nodded. "They're my specialty and Elementary School award-winning. When I was little, I'd make them with my mom and our family would drive out here to watch the Navy Pier fireworks."

Matt gave her a soft smile at her memory. "Sounds like a fun family outing." He looked down at the cookie. "I've only ever had these once."

She furrowed her brows. "Macadamia white chocolate chip cookies?"

He nodded. "Well, I've had them several times but those other times were never as good as the first time. I used to go out to the Belmont Harbor and watch the fireworks. The first time I had this kind of cookie was from a little girl I met there." They never exchanged names since they saw each other for only fifteen minutes a year and he always kicked himself for it.

Her spine straightened and her ears perked up at the familiarity. She stared at Matt with parted lips. 'No. He couldn't be... could he?'

"On the edge of the lake?" she curiously asked.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, how'd you know?" he asked. When his gaze met hers, he saw the familiar look in her eyes, the same look he remembered when he was a kid. The same look that he so fondly remembered underneath the bright glow of the fireworks. The look that was pure and filled with excitement, so gentle and so kind.

As the fireworks went off in the distance, the realization had both hit them, and underneath the faint glow, they both beamed at each other. A particular pop in the distance made them turn their attention to the fireworks but Sylvie was still feeling the effects of their unearthed history. Emotions swirled in her chest and tears welled in her eyes. She really thought she was never going to see him again. Before she knew it, Matt moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Maybe he felt the same way. With tear-stained cheeks, she smiled at the fireworks and rested her head on the inside of his shoulder.

[beewolfwrites]

What about our two lovelies watching a movie together, while the MC is so emotional and in tears that they hold Chishiya's hands during the entire movie and afterwards need a very long and tight hug ♥️

Okay, I might have gotten a tad carried away and forgotten about the hand holding. But I couldn't help it. I chose Howl's Moving Castle at random and then realised how perfect it fits!

FYI, this does contain spoilers for Howl's Moving Castle, and if you haven't watched it, drop everything and watch it! It's amazing 💕

Also, thank you to all the readers who liked that last request! I didn't expect that kind of response, and it means so much 😊

----------------------------------------------------

‘This plot makes no sense.’

‘Shh.’

‘Why is he suddenly a bird with a human face? It’s disturbing.’

‘Can you not? I’m trying to watch.’

Watching movies with Chishiya was a mistake you just kept making. The first time, it was a crime thriller, and he figured out how to solve the crime only twenty minutes in. The second time, you chose a horror, and he sighed with boredom at every jump scare. The third time, you tried to enjoy a musical, and he slid his headphones in whenever a song came on.

This time, it was one of your lifelong favourites: Howl’s Moving Castle. And boy, was it definitely a bad decision to watch it with Chishiya.

It was a Saturday evening, and neither of you could be bothered preparing dinner, so in the end you suggested ordering pizza and buckling down for a movie. Chishiya had picked up the remote and flicked the channel over to the news, but you insisted on watching something a little more interesting instead. Something that could transport you to another world entirely.

But maybe Howl’s Moving Castle was a mistake. So far, he’d picked apart every plot hole, reminded you that magic doesn’t exist, broken down all the ways a house couldn’t possibly be in four locations at once, and scoffed at Howl and Sophie’s growing relationship.

You were swaddled in blankets on the couch, head resting on Chishiya’s lap. ‘See, Howl saved them all from a bomb. He still has his humanity left.’

Despite his small protests, Chishiya was lightly running his fingers through your hair while he lazily stared at the screen. ‘So he’ll stay as a bird if he keeps turning into one? If that’s the real plot, I’m going to bed.’

‘It’s like you’re not even trying to paying attention. He’s only losing his humanity because he has no heart.’

‘He can’t possibly be alive then,’ Chishiya replied. ‘This film is even stupider than I thought.’

‘Stop trying to take the magic out of it. He’s a wizard, he can do anything.’

You snuggled your face further into Chishiya’s lap, enjoying the way he was playing with your hair. Even though he complained about the characters and storyline, he hadn't once made a move to leave, and you could only take that as a sign that he was secretly enjoying spending this time with you.

Eventually, the movie progressed into the scene where Sophie slips into the past and meets a younger Howl. Chishiya’s fingers slowed, then stilled.

‘Ah, I see. He traded it in.’

You couldn’t hold back a grin. ‘Now you’re getting it. It was all to save Calcifer.’

‘But he still fell in love with Sophie.’

‘Mm-hmm,’ you nodded. ‘She brought it out of him. She’s the only one who can.’

You twisted around and looked up to find his eyes fixed on Sophie as she slipped through the cracks back into the present. It felt nice, knowing he had found something in the movie that he could enjoy.

What didn’t feel nice was having Chishiya there to poke fun while you cried. You couldn’t help it. Howl and Sophie’s reunion was too beautiful and pure. The way she threw her arms around him, and then seeing them all together as a family in a brand new castle. Even when the credits started, tears continued to roll down your cheeks.

‘There’s something wrong with you,’ Chishiya said, raising a brow at the way you were furiously wiping your face clean.

You turned onto your back, sniffling. ‘Chishiya, your hair is like starlight.’

He pulled a face of mild disgust. ‘We’re not doing this.’

Even though your nose was blocked and your eyes were glassy, there was just one thing that could cure it all, aside from tissues of course.

‘You know what part comes next,’ you reminded him, raising your arms for a hug. Chishiya gently tried to lift you off his knee so he could escape, but you hung tight. He wasn’t going to get away that easily. ‘I’ll get up and leave you alone, if you just give me this.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘It’ll be painless,’ you said. ‘I promise.’

‘And you’ll let me go to bed?’ He gave you a stern look that left no room for argument.

You nodded, still holding your arms out expectantly. And with a roll of his eyes, Chishiya awkwardly bent over and scooped you up into a tight hug, one that enveloped you completely and brought you impossibly close. It was a hug he liked to reserve for special moments, and nobody aside from the two of you had ever witnessed it. Every time he exhaled, shivers ghosted along the back of your neck, and his hair tickled your face as you were engulfed by his warm scent.

Then out of nowhere, it was all ripped away. You were pulled upright on the couch, his arms disappearing. Chishiya swiftly slipped away, and before you could even register what had happened, you heard the living room door open and close.

That sneaky little…

‘Hey!’

He didn’t answer. Leaping up from the couch, you scrambled over to the bottom of the stairs, just in time to see him reach the top.

‘Chishiya,’ you called. ‘Do you think I should dye my hair silver too?’

This time, the response was immediate.

‘Absolutely not.’

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable ( Jungkook x Oc ) Chapter 4

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! 

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3

Chapter 4

“Dearest, I am  appalled. “ My father said apologetically. “ Jungkook told me what happened at the dinner and I’m beginning to rethink this whole idea. These pups need to be on a leash , if they cannot control themselves to this extent.” 

I was curled up on the couch next to my dad, his fingers gently stroking my hair while he stared at the screen in front of us. It carried all the accounts of the mansion for the week and the numbers made my head swim . So I ignored it, eating the freshly baked macarons that  cook had sent up from the kitchen. 

My father occasionally consulted from a bunch of files spread out on the table in front of him and I shuddered again when I thought about Mingyu. 

“He was an awful choice father. I should have just told you to set things up with Yugyeom.” I grimaced. 

My father nodded at once.

“Of course dearest, I’ll talk to him myself and see if he’s free this weekend. Will that work for you?”

“thank you father.” I said brightly, curling up next to him.

For a few minutes, we both stayed quiet, him humming as he leafed through the files, me munching on a few ripe tangerine pieces. 

“What do you think of Jungkook?” My father said suddenly, making me cough. 

I swallowed, throat dry.

My father felt me stiffen against him and he chuckled. 

“Don’t panic, love. I am way too old not to recognize heartache when I see it. Especially in my own daughter. Your display at the breakfast table yesterday was quite unlike you and I realized, it’s not just a silly infatuation anymore, is it  ? ” He rubbed the back of his fingers on my cheek, soothing and gentle. 

I didn’t reply. 

“I think he’s a good...man.” I finished.

“Ahhh...” My father chuckled. “  Man.  Here I am , trying to foist you off on boys who’ve barely popped their fangs for the first time .... when it is obvious that what you need is someone reliable and in control. Therein lies the appeal, does it not, dearest? ” 

I flushed red, scrambling to sit up , and clutching the fabric of my skirt in a death grip. 

“It’s... it’s stupid. I’ll get over it.” I choked out. 

My father hummed. 

“Have you told him how you feel?” He asked gently and I stared at him.

“You’re not mad.?” I whispered.

My father chuckled.

“Why would I be mad?  I’ve known him for five whole centuries. He’s a fine, upstanding man. Jungkook is fair and strong. He is more than capable of taking care of you and the best part, you would be able to live here forever. I would be lucky to have him as my son in law.” He said firmly. 

I felt my body go lax in disbelief. 

“Somi .. Somi said...That you wouldn’t approve. Because he isn’t from a strong clan. ”

“Somi worries too much about what the others in our clan may say.  Especially your uncle. He’s coming back soon remember? “ My father grimaced. 

I felt a shiver run through me. 

“Uncle Jaebum? He’s coming back?” I whispered, terrified. 

My father hummed, kissing the side of my head.

“Yes he is, love. But don’t worry. I’ll handle him. Your uncle still believes that lineage plays some role in how a vampire turns out but couldn’t be more wrong. i mean , young Mr. Mingyu has single handedly proven  that theory wrong , hasn’t he?” My father shook his head, laughing, “  So tell me, has Jungkook agreed to court you?” 

I groaned. 

“He has categorically stated that he doesn’t want to court me.” I said softly.

My father laughed at that.

“That must’ve been a novel experience for you.” 

I pouted. 

“Father!” I whined. 

“Alright, alright ...dearest. I won’t tease. Did he say why? ” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. 

“Because I’m too young? Possibly.... He said something about carrying too much baggage and not wanting to ruin my life.” 

My father made a noise of impatience.

“The boy is an overthinker. He’s always been that way. He doesn’t look that way but he cares deeply about hurting others. It’s possible he’s only trying to protect you. Albeit in a very misguided way. “

“ Perhaps. But, whatever the reason, he’s not willing to court me. So, no. i don’t think he wants to be your son in law. I wish I could change his mind. ” I muttered, snuggling closer into him. 

“Ah, you know I can’t change his mind for you, don’t you flower? That’s your job...”

I sighed. 

“I know...” 

“If Jungkook does choose to court you. You will have my blessing. I will give you a wedding that will make the world watch in awe. “ He said firmly. 

i laughed. 

“Really? You made Somi marry Jimin in the barn on the estate.” I grinned. 

“Well, Don’t tell your brothers and sisters but you are my favorite after all. “ He whispered conspiratorially and I grinned. 

It was funny because I knew he wasn’t even lying. 

After my mother had left the clan, my father had taken on the role with enthusiasm. Unlike the head of clans all over the world, my father was approachable , friendly and deeply involved in his children’s lives. And he had always adored me. 

“And even if Jungkook doesn’t realize how amazing you are, remember that there are plenty of good men out there. I want you to be happy, dearest. I will not settle for anything less than your complete happiness. “ My father said fiercely and I hugged him closer. 

I loved this man too damn much. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ You’re so good at what you do, Sera .” Lee Minhyuk gave me a seductive smile as he watched me wrestle his one year old daughter into her booties with one hand while i kept the other wrapped around her to stop her from toppling backwards on the small seat. 

 How about you stop flirting and help me dress your daughter , you asshole, I thought angrily, grunting from the effort of crouching for long periods of time. 

When the fluffy blue fur boots were finally on, I gave little Cherin’s squishy thighs a soft squeeze, pressing a kiss to her perfect cheeks. 

“Good bye cherry berry...” I sang softly, waving gently as she hugged her father’s legs before being scooped up into his arms. 

“So, are you free this friday? We could get something to eat?” Minhyuk gave me a wink. 

His wife was out of town. 

I offered a polite smile in return. 

“I’m going to have to pass on that. I don’t date parents, Minhyuk ssi.” I bowed my head lightly. 

Minhyuk looked annoyed but his gaze flitted to the 6′3″ man behind me, and he didn’t push the subject, merely bowing before leaving. 

Behind me Jungkook cleared his throat. 

I turned and he gave me a slow, lazy smirk. 

“You don’t date parents? Does that mean we’re not on for tonight anymore?” His eyes danced with mirth, mischief glinting in the black orbs. 

I flushed red. 

“Stop it, “ i hissed peering over his shoulder to make sure none of the other workers in the daycare had heard him. 

Jungkook smiled a little at the panic in my face. 

“But then , it isn’t really a date is it? You only want my body.” He sighed deeply in faux disappointment. 

I gave him an impish smile.

“It is the best thing you have on offer....” I shrugged. 

He laughed.

“Fair enough. Did you tell your dad about Mingyu? ” He asked as the workers began to leave one by one. Joowon had left with some of the other kids earlier, Jimin and Somi having promised to take the kids in the clan out for icecream. 

I picked up the stray blocks, dropping them into the huge laundry basket repurposed as a toy bag. i got on my hands and knees to peer under the huge wooden dresser in the corner, looking for stray blocks or toys and picking a few. 

 My back screamed in protest and i wondered if I was going to spend the rest of eternity with an achy back. I was just too young to be feeling this old. 

Was Park Jimin onto something with the whole yoga and stretching and exercise and healthy eating ? Should I stop binge eating french fries and possibly start eating salads? 

I sighed, straightening up and twisting my torso a bit only to find Jungkook with his gaze leveled very obviously  on my ass. 

So much so he didn’t even notice I was looking at him. 

I cleared my throat and his gaze left my butt, meeting mine with an absolutely unrepentant look on his face. 

“What?” He shrugged. “ I’m just seeing what I’m going to be working with tonight .” 

I felt my face flame, hating the way an absolutely ridiculous smile was threatening to make its way onto my face. I turned away quickly, crawling on all fours to the next dresser and peering under it too. 

once all the toys were put away and I’d double checked the to do list on the board , We finally closed the day care down for the night. It was just  little past six and I stood by the door, watching while he carefully checked all the side gates and the backyard. 

Slipping the key into my backpack , I began the walk back to the mansion and he fell into step next to me. 

“You didn’t answer my question....” He said softly and I blinked.

“Oh?” I couldn’t remember. 

“ Did you tell your father what happened with Mingyu?”

“Did you?” I retorted. and he shrugged. 

“I had to give a complete play by play report. Your father was incredibly upset.” 

I chuckled. 

“He’s very protective of me..” I shrugged.

Jungkook went tellingly quiet.

I felt foreboding rise inside me. Jungkook inhaled sharply, obviously staring to say something but i cut him off quickly. 

“He likes you!!” I blurted out quickly. “ I mean..he approves of you... Told me he wouldn’t mind you being his son in law.” 

My lack of filter was going to get me  killed  one of these days. 

Jungkook however seemed more amused than annoyed. 

“Well, considering the kind of candidates in the race, I can see why he would prefer me. “ He laughed. 

I frowned. There was something smug in his tone that irked me. He shouldn’t get to be smug about something like that when he didn’t even want to be with me in the first place. 

“They’re not all clowns. Yugyeom is a great guy.” I said sharply.

Jungkook’s eyebrow shot up.

“Is it so?”

I nodded, honest. 

“He’s older... almost two centuries old now and he’s a good friend.” 

“Two centuries? How on earth did he become your friend?” 

“He was one of my tutors during college. So I kind of had a crush on him.... It was all exciting .... You know, teacher and student .....forbidden love and all that “ I smiled. 

Jungkook gave me a cheeky smile. 

“Ahh...ever sucked his dick off under the desk? Or dreamed of it at least? ” He asked casually and I choked.

“ What? “ 

“Why do you look so shocked? isn’t that the most common of fantasies?“

I glared at him .

“No... I did not. That’s indecent.” 

He stopped walking. 

I walked a few steps ahead and paused, turning to stare at him. 

“What?” I demanded. 

“Sera , what the actual fuck do you think we’re going to be doing tonight?” He asked thoughtfully. 

I spluttered . 

“I... Its different. I was too young back then. Of course I know what you’re going to do tonight.” I said impatiently, turning around to keep going. 

But his hand shot out, gripping my arm and pulling me to him. I crashed into his chest, gripping the fabric to steady myself. 

“For someone who was so eager to have me show her the ‘ ropes’ , you’re quite intent on running from me, anytime i bring it up.” He whispered. 

i stared resolutely at his chest, refusing to meet his eyes. It wasn’t that I was shy per se. But just looking at his face made me lose my braincells. 

“I’m not running away. I just....” Don’t want to read too much into your flirting. Your teasing. Your interest in me. I have to keep my heart safe and I can’t do that with you offering me all of your attention....

“Don’t be nervous, alright? I’ll take good care of you.” He smiled softly. 

 God, I hated this man. 

I could feel heat pool in my belly, spreading all over my body and the urge to throw myself into his arms was so overwhelming.

“I know you will. “ I said softly, finally looking up at him, pressing my palm to his face. “ You’re a good man. A kind man. I knew the minute I saw you that you’d take good care of me. ” 

The words seemed to affect him and he bit his lips, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand away from his face.  

“We should go.” He said shortly, pushing away from me and walking away briskly. 

“Who’s the one running now, Jeon Jungkook?!!!” I yelled after him and he flipped me off without turning around. 

Laughing, I ran to catch up with him again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 10.55 , I stood outside Jungkook’s room, nervous but eager.

 It wasn’t even the prospect of sex, I thought giddily. Just the idea of spending time with him, of listening to him talk, of having him at touching distance .....it was so intoxicating. 

I knocked lightly. 

Jungkook opened the door , a smile on his face and it was jarring, how young he looked like this. 

He was clearly fresh out of the shower. Hair wet and and still dripping a little, he was dressed in a grey hoodie, the sleeves rolled up to show his veiny forearms and grey sweatpants, hands tucked into his pockets as he shook his hair out of his eyes. 

It was a futile action and all it really did was send water droplets flying all around. 

I blinked against the unexpected spray, water clinging to my lashes and my cheeks. 

“Hey!! “ I protested. “ Are you a puppy? Use a towel like the rest of the world.” I mumbled. 

He laughed. 

“Come in, princess.” He grabbed my wrist, tugging gently and I stepped into his room, looking around eagerly. 

He closed the door behind us and I heard him pull the dead bolt into place before turning the key as well.

No interruptions then.....

Good. 

“Your room is actually bigger than mine.” I frowned, noting the big four poster bed, complete with a white curtained canopy. I let my gaze fall to the clean white sheets and my mind flashed back to the beautiful Helena, sprawled on the bed in nothing but her underwear. 

I swallowed the bitter jealousy that threatened. 

Hands wrapped around my waist from behind and he hugged me close, the warmth of his chest heavy and amazing on my body. I jumped a little when i felt the gentle press of his lips on the curve of my neck. 

“You sure about this? We don’t have to do anything at all tonight. We can kiss a little, watch a movie and sleep. But you’re a big girl so I’m gonna let you call the shots.” He lightly grabbed a huge chunk of my hair, lifting it out of the way before kissing the back of my neck. 

“Uh...” I stared straight ahead, already half aroused. “I want....to feel good.” 

He laughed against my skin, his hold around me tightening. 

“That can be arranged.” He said hotly, teeth nipping  at my skin before he gently turned me around in his arms. 

I looked up at him, drinking in his gorgeous face and he hummed, eyes narrowed as though in deep thought. 

“Bed?” He prompted and it was ridiculous, how one word could turn me on that bad. I nodded, making to move but he surprised me, crouching and grabbing the back of my thighs, pulling me up so easily, that I shrieked. I wrapped my thighs around his waist, more by instinct than intent and he laughed at the look on my face. 

“This always gets the ladies going.” He winked and I flushed. 

“Show off...” I muttered, lightly punching his shoulders and he shrugged.

“I don’t hit the gym five times a week to  not  show off darling.” he drawled, walking over to the bed and tossing me on the mattress. I bounced off the surface, squawking in surprise and I scrambled to sit up but he was already grabbing the hem of his hoodie and tossing it off. 

I’d never seen him shirtless but before I could fully appreciate the view, he was climbing on the bed. He grabbed my ankles, tugging me away from the head board and I landed on my back with an oof. 

“Ow. You’re being entirely too careless with me. “ I protested. 

He crawled forward on his knees, closer and closer till he was throwing one leg over my body, straddling my waist. 

“Thought you wanted to be put in your place.” He reminded me and I grinned up at him. 

“I think I’m right where I want to be. Under you.” I said honestly and he nodded.

“It’s where you belong.” He whispered, taking me entirely by surprise .

 My heart began pounding a familiar ache, a familiar pang. I knew it was an illusion. He didn’t for a second believe I belonged here but it was hard not to believe him, when he was hovering over me , looking like a fallen angel. 

God, don’t get emotionally invested. He doesn’t actually mean it, you fool. 

“Kiss me.” I held my arms up and he lowered himself carefully, keeping his weight off me as he kissed me, soft and gentle. I let my fingers tangle in the damp ebony locks, tugging gently as he angled himself better, tongue begging entrance. 

The heady mint taste of him, sent me into over drive and I wrapped both my legs around his waist, pulling him down. 

I took a second to just take him in.

The scent of his skin against mine, clean and woody, slightly sweaty, but mostly just musky. The smell of a man . The weight of him on my body, the hardness of his arousal evident even through the sweatpants. He pulled back to stare at me, his fingers brushing my cheeks. 

“You have perfect lips for kissing. Lush and plump. Like tiny pillows I can sink my teeth into.” He whispered, catching my lower lip between his teeth and tugging. 

“You have beautiful nipples. I want to lick them some day. .” I breathed, running my thumb on the curve of his cheek bones. 

Jungkook stared at me in complete shock for a second and then  laughed . 

“Thats.... a new one. Jesus. “ he shook his head, almost in disbelief. 

“Sorry.” I flushed and he waved off my apology. 

“You wanted to feel good right? Shall I start?” His eyes twinkled. 

I nodded, way too eagerly and he laughed harder. 

“Okay, let’s get you out of these clothes, princess. “  He grabbed my arm, pulling me up to a sitting position before gently tugging the t shirt off my chest. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath and his breath caught s he stared at my breasts.

He stared at them for a second, swallowing before, glancing at me .

“Beautiful.” He said, voice deep and husky. 

“Thank you .” I said primly. 

He laughed again and shook his head.

“I can’t remember ever laughing so much before sex. This is so weird.” 

“Weird bad?” i asked, nervous.

He shook his head.

“Weird good.” He leaned in, kissing my cheek just as he hooked his thumbs into my shorts, pulling them down easily and leaving me completely naked. “ Weird adorable.” 

I crossed my legs, drawing my knees up at once, feeling devastatingly shy. 

His eyes softened. 

“You want me to turn off the lights? “ He asked gently. 

“Yes please.” I said desperately and he nodded, quickly climbing off the bed and fumbling with the light switches. He left a single light on , near the closet. It left the rest of the room dimly lit. 

“Am I the first one to see you like this?” He asked, rubbing his hands together before climbing onto the bed again. 

“Um... after the age of ten, yes.” I laughed nervously. 

He hummed. 

“You’re gorgeous. Toss me that pillow.” He pointed to the one next to my head and i handed it to him.

“Lie down for me darling.” He smiled. 

I hesitated, closing my eyes tight just because it was overwhelming, seeing him in front of me , shirtless and being naked in front of him. 

I laid back slowly, knees still pulled up and feet on the bed, thighs pressed together. 

My heart was pounding , less from nerves and more from sheer anticipation. I’d waited long enough for this to truly feel nervous or want to back out. 

And the fact that it was with Jungkook... I’d pretty much hit the jackpot in first time experiences. 

Hands on my knees made my eyes fly open and I found myself staring up into his face.

“You okay?” He asked gently. 

i nodded.

“Let me between your legs?” He asked sweetly. 

I felt the blood rush to my face, my legs shaking as I spread my knees and thighs, enough to give him space between them. His fingers closed around my ankle lightly, gentle as he ran his hands up and down my legs. 

“Relax alright. You wanted to feel good and I’m going to make you feel good. The only thing you need to do is... well.. feel.” He smiled, impish bunny teeth bright even in the darkened room. 

I nodded, closing my eyes. 

“Don’t wanna watch?” He teased and I shook my head. My pulse kicked up at the very thought of it. 

Jungkook wasn’t anything like I’d imagined, I thought miserably. He had been attractive as the stoic, serious man who wanted to do the right thing but like this : naught and flirty and charming , he was absolutely devastating and i wasn’t sure i could come out of this unscathed. 

I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was making a huge mistake . that this whole thing was going to end with my heart ripped to shreds....

His lips against my forehead pulled me out of my thoughts and I swallowed. 

“I’m going to touch you.” He said softly and I shuddered when his hands closed over my breasts, gentle but firm, kneading the flesh very slowly, thumbs rubbing back and forth on the nipples till they tightened. 

I bit my lips to stop myself from crying out, the sensation overwhelming and foreign because it was someone else’s fingers and not my own. 

“Hey... “ one soft finger pressed against my lips, parting them gently and i sobbed out loud. “ None of that.... You should be as loud as you want to...how else will I know if I’m getting the job done?” 

“You’re getting it done..” I choked out, shaking all over and his kissed my lips again, quick and hard. 

“So beautiful.” He murmured, lips pressing kisses down my chest and across my breasts.

“Since you wanted to lick my nipple, let me uh...return the favor? In advance ?” He laughed against my skin and I inhaled sharply when he nipped at the fleshy mound. 

His lips closed around my nipples, the suction gentle but his tongue wet and insistent .

I went completely still, my hands flying to his hair and gripping so hard he grunted . My hips lifted off the bed at the sensation, every nerve ending on fire as he kept suckling and licking and god, his teeth...he was using his teeth to bite down on the nub... making me thrash my hips , my body completely overwhelmed . 

He kept his lips over the peak, licking the tip over and over till it was tender and wet and hard . He used his hands to knead the other side, thumb rubbing insistently on the neglected nub and I felt my toes curling into th mattress, my arms drooping to loop around his neck as he began to move his hips as well, grinding down on to my thigh. 

I was going to black out from having my nipple played with, I thought vacantly.

“Probably won’t feel this good for me but I’m glad you like it.” He laughed again and I loved the sound of it. Loved that he seemed to be enjoying this too. And I wanted him to enjoy it. Wanted to make him feel good too.

So I let my hand drop, down to his waist and then to the front of his pants.

He froze over me. 

“Sera-”

“I want to.” I said desperately, knowing what he was going to say.  . “ Please , let me touch you too-”

“Hey hey...shush..”He kissed me again quick and heady. “ Remember what I said? You call the shots.... “ He pressed another kiss to the corner of my lips. “ Want me to take off my sweats?” 

I nodded, “ Yeah.” 

He wiggled out of his pants quickly and i cursed myself for wanting the lights turned off. 

I hesitated, rubbing my palm on his pecs and tracing the muscles down to his tightly packed abs and then hesitating. 

“You can touch.” He said hotly and I swallowed, letting my fingers flutter down between his gloriously thick thighs. His skin was smooth and hard , like silk over steel and I let my fingers go lower, past the light dusting of hair to the thick, rigid length of him , my fingers closing over the hardness of his cock. 

Jungkook jerked forward, head burying into the pillow near my head and he swore.

“Fuck...” He sounded strangled and I laughed , gripping him harder but not a lot because I wasn’t sure how much was too much. .

“I have no idea what I’m doing...” I admitted weakly , loosening my grip a little to stroke up and down over the length of his cock. 

“Fuck.. just the fact that you’re doing it is going to make me cum.” He choked out and I laughed, ridiculously flattered.  

He grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand away.

“Lick it.” He said softly. 

I went still, my brain grinding to a halt.. Lick....??

 My eyes went wide.  

And so did his.

“Your palm.” He choked out. “ Lick your palm not my..... Your palm. It’s too dry.” 

Oh..  oh.

Lick my palm. Not his cock. Right. Got it. 

“Okay...”I drew my hand up and hesitated , unsure . Jungkook watched me like a hawk, eyes trained on my mouth and I bit my lips, cupping my palm and spitting into it, twice for good measure. feeling absolutely filthy.

“Fucking hell.” He breathed as I took my hand down to his cock again, wrapping my hand around it and it did feel better, easier to jerk him off with the lubrication. I moved my hands up and down , with  no rhythm and Jungkook gritted his teeth. 

“Okay... I’m gonna.. “He shivered a little when I tentatively pressed my thumb to the head, surprised to find him wet , on the top. I gathered the moisture around his slit, spreading it all over the head of his cock, using my fingers to rub circles over the crown , fingers tracing the thick vein on the underside. 

 inside me. This is going to be inside me. 

 I felt my thighs shake, my insides clenching, wetness dribbling out of me as I squirmed. 

“Please... Jungkook , I...”

“I got you...” He whispered, grabbing my hand and pulling it away from his cock. 

“hey-” I pouted but he shook his head. 

“If you don’t keep your hands off,  this'll all be over before it even begins,.” He said dryly. 

I closed my eyes again, my nerves picking up. 

“Listen...” He said suddenly and I blinked, staring at him. “ I’m going to get you wet...” Oh, god, “ With my tongue.” 

My entire body went taut. 

“I..”

“It’ll make it easier... trust me. And It’ll feel good. Wasn’t that the goal today? “ He tossed me a wink, squeezing my thighs a bit. He moved back and grabbed the pillow.

“Lift your hips up for me.” He said gently and I raised my butt, jerking when he folded the pillow in half and pushed it under my hips. And the he was crawling backwards, till his face hovered over my belly button.

“Throw your legs over my shoulders....” He said briskly, gripping my thighs , one in each and spreading my legs apart. I did as he asked, the back of my knee resting on the hard muscles of his broad shoulders and i raised my head a bit to peer down at him. 

The sight of jungkook’s gorgeous fucking face between my thighs got seared into my head and I fell back, already overwhelmed. 

He pressed a soft kiss to my thigh, a little nip my skin and then sucked the skin at the juncture of my hip and thigh. He was breathing in suddenly, a loud, shuddering inhale.  His breathing wavered and i felt the sharp pin prick of teeth. 

“Shit..”He pulled back and I jumped a little, watching him struggle. He glanced at me and I saw the flash of white between his lips. He’d dropped fang...and was clearly struggling to get them to retract. 

“You can do it..” I said feverishly. “ Jungkook , you can.... Drink.” 

He shook his head and glanced up at me and the look in his eyes made me startle .... because it looked like he was going to get up, move away , possibly call off this whole thing and no...no that was absolutely not going to happen. 

I was not letting him back out of this. 

He tried to move, but I grabbed his hair, yanking his mouth back to my thigh. 

“Fucking do it...” I snapped angrily and his eyes widened at my tone, “  do it and then fuck me , Jungkook or I swear to God I’ll  -” 

Sharp, sharp pain lanced through my spine as he bit down, fangs piercing my skin with ease and I felt the rush of liquid as it left my body, filling his mouth as he gulped. 

His venom worked its magic, the pain dulling to a throb, a pleasant heady intoxication....meant to make the bleeding out painless, meant to make death pleasant for the prey but for me it was just pleasure.

 Pleasure because he could have his fill and I would still be able to give him more. 

Pleasure because with me, he could indulge himself, as much as he wanted without worrying about the consequences. 

Jungkook groaned against my thighs, his shoulders shaking as he drank and I stroked his hair, petting the dark strands as I fought the slight lightheadedness, knowing that it would pass soon. 

Jungkook sucked deeper and I parted my legs moaning when my head began to spin, and then I felt his fingers touch my center, parting my folds , spreading the wetness all over his fingers before his thumb pressed down on my clit, rubbing insistently. I felt myself dripping all over the sheets, so wet and swollen and throbbing... 

“Oh, god yes... That feels so good, Jungkook .. I...” I gasped  as he slipped one long finger in, deep and without any resistance. The warm wetness in my thigh began spreading and I heard him groan as he sucked harder, drinking me down like i was the finest wine. 

“Another... give me more...please...” 

He moaned, still drinking, still shaking as he pressed another finger in next to the previous one, deeper still, searching and stroking, tracing every ridge inside me, curling just right, and rubbing down on that spot inside me...the one I could never quite reach by myself. 

Jungkook inhaled sharply, his fang sinking in just a little deeper as he latched on tighter and my legs shook as I cried out. 

He hummed, using one hand to rub soothing circles on my thigh, while he rubbed his thumb across my clit , hard and the gentle and then hard again until it throbbed and ached , over and over again and I was sure the little nub was bruised, that I wouldn’t be able to touch it for a while without wincing. 

I was gushing , my arousal so strong that the sheets were soaked, wet and so damp and the sensation of his fingers, thick and deep inside me while his fangs bit down harder, while he fed from me, was just too much...too much. 

I exploded around his fingers , my orgasm so strong that my hips lifted right off the bed, and he fucked me through it, fingers pounding in and out of my wet swollen walls as he pulled away, fangs retracting and I struggled to get on my elbows , to get a look at him.

He looked completely wrecked, fangs still half out, lips red and dripping blood , eyes flashing scarlet and blazing with lust so potent , I felt my insides churn.,,. i stared at him as I clenched over his fingers and he closed his eyes, shoulders shaking as he tried to get his bearings but I grabbed his shoulders, scrabbling to pull him up and closer. 

“Inside!” I choked out as he tried to get up, looking punch drunk and out of it.” Get inside me.”

“Sera... you’re...” He was slurring his words and I cried out in sheer frustration, scrabbling to my knees and pushing him down till he was flat on the bed. 

 “ Please i need it... need your cock inside me Jungkook, fuck...”  I begged, my thighs aching and walls clenching from how desperately I wanted to be filled. I stuck my hand between my legs , gathering as much of my wetness as I could before gripping his cock, coating him in my arousal.

 There was something so filthy about his hard, thick cock covered in my juices that made my mouth water. I wanted to swallow him down, to feel his cock hit the back of my throat but I wanted him inside me too. 

Maybe next time. 

“Please....Please can I sit on your cock?!! “ i choked out, fully gone. Jungkook groaned at my words. 

“Yes.. fuck... Do it.. Come on baby, take what you want from me.” he whispered.  and I scrambled up to straddle his thighs. Gripping the base of his cock, I pressed the tip against my entrance, closing my eyes to brace myself, digging my knees into the mattress for leverage before sinking straight down . 

“Oh, fuck....” I shuddered, my entire body thrumming as he pressed in, the hard length of him cleaving me so easily there was absolutely no pain to even register. It was just new. Different. 

And so so exhilarating. 

I sank all the way down till my ass hit the hardness of his thighs. 

And then I couldn’t move anymore. My body shook with tremors and My hands began trembling. 

“Jungkook...please... I..”

He responded by reaching out and gripping me thighs.

“Look at me baby...!” He said sharply and I stared down at his sweat slicked face. His eyes flashed red for a second and then he tugged me down, till i was lying flat on his chest. His arms came around my waist, anchoring me in place. 

“Gonna give it to you good. Just stay still yeah?” He breathed against my ear as i buried my face in the crook of his neck. And then he was rolling us both over, till I was flat on my back, his hand closing over my thigh, spreading my legs apart as he pistoned straight in. 

We were both too far gone for any semblance of a rhythm and I stopped trying to move, merely wrapping my arms around his neck, clinging on as he fucked into me, so hard that I could feel him in my gut. I felt my hips ache from the sheer force of his thrusts, my thighs cramping from how wide he had me spread and my clit throbbing from the way his cock dragged across it with every thrust. 

Pleasure swelled, again, this time stringer and I stopped fighting to make it happen, sinking back and letting it crash over me , like a wave breaking over the cliffs. 

Jungkook groaned as I exploded around him, my walls clenching around his cock and milking him and he shuddered in my arms, his cock twitching inside me as he came, filling me up . 

I gripped his shoulders, clinging to him as he trembled through the aftershocks. I felt my walls clenching, over and over again and Jungkook gave me a strangled moan.

“Too much...baby.. please stop... “ He begged and I froze, realizing that he was too sensitive and wanted to pull out. 

“sorry...sorry... “ I willed my walls to stop clenching and he made a noise of sheer exhaustion as he pulled out of me. 

I watched as he rolled off me, collapsing on his back, breathing hard. 

I stared up at the ceiling, feeling the wet mess of his cum, drip out of me and onto the sheets. I had the sudden made urge to stick my finger down there , scoop it up and taste it but I tamped it down. 

“Well.” I began.... 

He turned to look at me. 

I turned to him, still trying to catch my breath. 

“I’m not a virgin anymore.” I grinned wide. 

He groaned and ran a finger over his face. 

“Congratulations, Princess.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note :  Please i need holy water. 

feedback is love. If you don’t tell me you loved this fic i will not write smut anymore. 

taglist :  

@ladyartemesia        @veronawrites   @alpaca1612     @bonyg    @unseejuice21  @sppvjj     @ggukkieland     @tae-by-tae      @blr1004      @yoongichild    @stussyjeon  @jellybearo​   

[nishisun]

best part ☁️/ 002. first breakfast together

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Kuroo places his phone on the side next to him and stretches his arms a bit, noticing that your head is placed softly in his chest. She’d kill me if she woke up like this right now.

He can’t help but stare at your sleeping figure, admiring the way you’re sleeping so peacefully. His arms are placed awkwardly by his sides on the bed, scared that you may wake up if he places any arms around you. He doesn’t want this moment to end.

He knows he’s the reason why you two aren’t together and yes, he does regret it. He regrets it so much. He’s never one to do something so impulsive but with the way things ended for the both of you, he’s just grateful you’re even talking to him again. Lord knows he wouldn’t be as kind as you have been with him.

He knows he’s the reason why you two aren’t together and yes, he does regret it. He regrets it so much. He’s never one to do something so impulsive but with the way things ended for the both of you, he’s just grateful you’re even talking to him again. Lord knows he wouldn’t be as kind as you have been with him.

He knows he’s the reason why you two aren’t together and yes, he does regret it. He regrets it so much. He’s never one to do something so impulsive but with the way things ended for the both of you, he’s just grateful you’re even talking to him again. Lord knows he wouldn’t be as kind as you have been with him.

He wants this moment to last forever.

But, the truth hurts, and so does reality because when he feels you shift, his heart nearly stops.

Not only do you shift, you’re awake now, barely awake until you look around and realize you were sleeping on Kuroo. You look up at him and he already knows he’s a dead man.

You’re glaring at him now, he’s trying to muster up the courage to even explain himself because your death stare has that much of an effect.

“You pervert!” you nearly screech.

“I woke up and this is how you were! I didn’t want to bother you. I know you had a long day yesterday!” Kuroo raises both of his hands up in defensive, and you roll your eyes at him before rolling to the side of the bed so you were finally off of him and laying down facing his opposite direction.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You’re not mad..?”

“What time is it?”you ask, still facing the opposite direction. He glances at you before reaching for his phone to check the time.

“It’s 7:04”

“Perfect. I need to make Takeru breakfast before he wakes up.”

“Why does he eat so early?”

“Kuroo, what does that even mean?”

“Smells good in here,” Kuroo walks in the kitchen, a towel draped on his shoulders with slightly damp hair caused from sweat. He walks over and hugs you behind the waist, it would’ve been a romantic gesture if you were actually together, but you’re not, and you nearly screech at him.

“My God, go take a bath.” you mutter, he doesn’t ignore the way your cheeks are turning into a bright shade of pink. “Where’d you go anyway?”

“I see you’re still acting cold towards me.” You glare at him, and he raises his hands up before laughing. “I’m kidding, I went for a run.” He shrugs, grabbing a piece a banana. “You live in a pretty nice neighborhood, so that’s good for the kid.”

“What do you even know about kids?” you scoff.

“To be honest, absolutely nothing. I know they need food and shelter. And clothing too, I guess.” he looks over at you and notices you’re scrambling eggs and he admires how you look so concentrated even when doing the simplest task. “But I wanna learn more about kids, more about Takeru. He seems like a nice kid.”

“Oh, he is. I raised him right.”

“I mean, of course. It is you we’re talking about.” He agrees, he doesn’t even know how much of an effect that had on you. “While I was running this one lady stopped me and asked for a photo so she could send it to her son.”

“I always forget you’re famous.” you huff a laugh as you continue to fry the eggs.

“Well, not famous, just rich.” you roll your eyes, “To others, I’m a young and successful CEO, but to you and friends and family, I’m just regular Tetsuro.” He takes a bite into his banana. “Remember that one time in college, when we planned on majoring in the same subject just so we could have the same job?” You immediately chuckle, remembering the event.

“We were so naive.” It’s Kuroo’s turn to chuckle, he looks over to you and grins when he sees you smiling to yourself. It’s the first time in a while he’s seen you even let out a laugh in front of him. You usually keep to yourself. “Things were different, back then.”

“They were,” He crosses his arms with the banana still in his hand. “Hey, what do you do now, by the way?”

“Well, I’m a finance manager for a museum. I just file reports and long-term financial goals and other stuff.”

“Holy shit, that’s amazing, Y/N! Heard they pay really well.” He sounds so genuine, you can’t even look him in the eye.

“Yeah, it’s nothing really.” You shrug off, but you can’t help the way your heart swells. He’s always been so supportive.

“Are you kidding me? That’s literally like boss girl shit. You’re literally bad ass.” You laugh at the nickname and he joins in with you. You look up at him and smile again, about to thank him until you hear a small pair of footsteps walking down the halls.

It was Takeru, he was rubbing both of his eyes while walking, which was blocking his vision, He’s just about to run into a box, thankfully Kuroo swiftly picks him up and places him in his feeding chair.

“Woah there, bud! You gotta be more careful, okay?” The boy nods shyly, still very unfamiliar with Kuroo. Kuroo grins at the toddler brightly and Takeru smiles back and you could’ve sworn right then and there your heart melted. You turn your head quickly, acting as if you didn’t just witness the scene that has just made you soft.

This man is going to be the death of you. It’s been less than a day and you’re already softening to him.

“Good morning, baby. How was your night?” You coo, walking towards your son with his plate of scrambled eggs and toast with sliced apples on the side. You had cut up the bread into small pieces and didn’t put any spread on it because Takeru is a picky eater.

“Good!” He nods aggressively, rubbing his hands together in excitement. “Thanks for the food, mama!”

“You’re welcome, honey.” you give him a quick peck on the cheek. You turn to Kuroo, who’s gives you a smile and you smile back. “I made pancakes and kept them in the oven so they’d be warm.”

“Why oven?” he laughs and you playfully hit him on his chest.

“Because, Kuroo. I read it somewhere. And,” you open the oven lifting the pan from the oven to reveal the pancakes, which were still steaming hot. “It obviously worked.”

“I’m impressed, you used to suck at cooking.”

Now all settled at the dining table, it’s quiet, Takeru speaks up every now and then to ask you a question to which you reply to and it’s as if he’s completely ignoring Kuroo’s presence. Kuroo has already texted you, asking why Takeru wasn’t asking Kuroo any questions and you simply explained that he’ll come around since he’s a shy kid.

“You should come stay at my place. The both of you.” He says suddenly, you nearly choke on your food, shaking your head in disapproval before Kuroo interrupts you. “Wait, let me explain.”

“I’m listening.”

“I feel like it would be more convenient, you know? You have to drive an hour to your job, which is literally like a 10 minute drive from mine, I’m literally always home, so I could watch Takeru, so it would be son and father bond—“

You cut him off with a loud cough, and motion your head towards Takeru, who cocks his head to the side and Kuroo silently apologizes.

“I need to be there when you’re with him.” you state, taking a bite of your eggs.

“Why?”

“Do you trust yourself with kids?”

He opens he mouth to say something, but then closes it.

“Exactly.”

“So.. You’re gonna move in?”

“Can you not word it like that.. and no, That’s too fast. Not to mention, it’s weird. I work at home aswell, Kuroo. I only go for meetings once or twice a week, so it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Okay,” He swallows the food in his mouth “Who babysits Takeru?

“Kenma, when he can. It’s either that or I hire a babysitter.”

“A babysitter? You don’t have like.. one who’s long-term?”

You glance at Takeru for a brief second and then sigh “No, there’s not many of those types of babysitters near us.” you mutter.

“Perfect! See? Another reason why you should just move in. It’s nothing more than two parents co-parenting.”

“Kuroo, I understand your intentions, but it’s just not going to work.. I can’t.” you sigh once again and Takeru looks up at you with concern and you smile reassuringly at him. “That’s too much..”

“Well, I don’t see what the problem is here.”

“This,” You motioned your hands between you and Kuroo “This is the problem. I’ve been taking care of Takeru by myself, and I’m not saying I don’t want you guys to have a bond, but it’s not a smart idea for me and Takeru to practically move in with you. I honestly don’t feel comfortable doing that. Besides, I love it here. I worked hard for this house.”

“Right, I’m sorry.” Kuroo looks at you in awe before giving you a small nod.

“It’s fine, I know you just want to get closer with him, but it’s gonna take time. We can’t rush things. So let’s take things slow between the two of you, okay?”

“Okay.”

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[lilliagradiewrites]

surprise? (jj maybank)

Summary: You’re John B’s sister, and you’ve been dating JJ in secret for months. What happens when John B sees a hickey on your neck, and realizes his best friend has been making on his little sister?

WC: 2.7k

WARNINGS: Hickey/ mentions of sexy time, cursing, mentions of violence

A/N: Another JJ one shot! This one has been sitting half-finished in my collection for a while now, so tonight I decided to complete it! I’m such a sucker for a brother’s best friend moment, so I knew I had to write a JJ x Routledge! reader fic. i hope you all like it!

PS: Thank you so much for all the love on evermore, my last fic!! It was so well received, and has gotten more recognition than anything else I've ever uploaded. I’m so thankful!!

I love you all so so much, and I hope you enjoy!!

LET’S DO IT!

~~~~~~

Neither you nor JJ could pinpoint the exact moment it began.

Being John B’s younger sister, you had known the blonde boy for basically your entire life. In seventh grade, you had developed a slight crush on JJ. He was the older, popular boy that cracked funny jokes; how could you not like him? You had always thought he was cute, but you started seeing him in a different light around the age of twelve.

The crush quickly faded away, and you found yourself with many boyfriends and flings over the years. Looking back on it now, you don’t think your feelings JJ ever truly went away… you had just forced yourself to forget them.

For JJ, the feelings developed around his sophomore year, when you were a freshman. For the vast majority of his life, he’d seen you every day when he inevitably made his way to the chateau. He’d cared about you, of course, but no more than a ‘I care about her because she’s my best friends little sister’ kind of way.

He has a vivid memory of you, the morning after he’d had a sleepover with your brother. He was sitting on the couch with John B, having a conversation about some stupid guy thing he couldn’t even recall now. He remembers seeing you walk out of your room, having just woken up, wearing an oversized t-shirt. Your hair was in a messy bun, and you didn’t have on any makeup.

He couldn’t explain why, but you looked so damn beautiful to him that day. You never noticed him staring at you, but John B did. JJ remembers his friend’s brows furrowing.

“What the hell are you staring at?” After following JJ’s gaze, his eyes widened. “Are you looking at my sister, man? Cut that shit out.”

“No, of course I wasn’t. I was looking out the window. Chill, bro.” JJ had quickly denied the claims of his friend, who didn’t entirely believe him but chose not to say anything else on the topic. After that day, JJ tried his best to avoid staring at you, but it was always hard for him.

Within a month after that incident, you began hanging out with the Pogues more and more. They quickly became your best friends, and you loved them all more than anything. They all helped you and John B through the disappearance of your father, and you were eternally grateful.

Naturally, you found yourself growing the closest with Kie. Being the only two girls, it made the most sense for the two of you to be very close. Kiara was like a sister and a best friend all in one, and you loved her very much.

Pope was always great. He kept you and the rest of the pogues in check, making sure you remained safe and made smart decisions. John B, of course, was your older brother, and you were very close with him. You had your frustrations with the brunette, however. One thing that always pissed you off about John B was how insanely protective he was. He would threaten any guy whose eyes lingered too long on you at a party, and it took years of convincing to allow him to let you go on a date. You loved him, of course, and knew he was always trying to keep you safe, but you couldn’t help but be frustrated with him sometimes.

And then there was JJ. You didn’t even know what to think when it comes to the blonde boy. You had always noticed something special about him, and felt slightly different towards JJ then all the other boys. For some reason, the both of you kept your distance from each other. Maybe, you both knew in the back of your mind that if you got too close, there’d be no pulling you apart.

One night at a party, you had gotten absolutely wasted. Kiara had gone home with some girl, Pope’s dad didn’t let him come, and John B was nowhere in sight, meaning it was up to JJ to take care of you. He brought you home, cleaned you up, and put you into bed. In your intoxicated state, you let your walls fall down. You told Jj how you felt about him, too drunk to worry about the consequences.

Fortunately for you, the feelings were reciprocated. JJ said that he felt the same way, and he’d been keeping his distance from you because of strict commands from John B. “Anytime I’d get close to you, or even be ‘too friendly’ towards you, I’d get the whole ‘my sister is off limits’ lecture, I was tired of hearing it, and I didn’t think you felt the same anyways.”

That night was the beginning of a long journey. He kissed you, and you were happier than you’d ever been. He ask you to be his girlfriend, and you happily said yes. There was only one issue with the whole situation.

Your stupid, overdramatic, overprotective brother.

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell him for a while?” Jj suggested after much contemplation on both of your parts. “See where this goes. If it gets super serious, we’ll obviously tell him, but it’s probably best to keep it on the down low for now.”

Though hesitant, you eventually agreed, deciding it was the best decision for now. You hated lying to your brother, but it’s not like you had any other choice.

Six months passed after that night. You and JJ’s relationship grew stronger and more serious with each passing day, but neither of you had the guts to tell your brother. So, you kept dating in secret, the relationship only between the two of you.

Oh, right. And Kie.

JJ had gotten into a habit of sneaking into your bedroom window late at night. He rarely got any time with just the two of you, and even when you hung out with your friends, he wasn’t able to be as affectionate as he wished he could be. One morning, Kiara arrived at the chateau earlier than usual, bursting into your room to find you asleep, wrapped in your boyfriend's arms.

The brunette woke the two of you up with a loud exclamation of “What the fuck?”

JJ kissed you goodbye and scrambled out the window before John B heard anything, and you sat Kie down and explained the whole situation, making her promise not to tell anyone.

Especially not John B.

Kiara, being the amazing person she is, swore secrecy and squealed about how happy she was for the two of you.

Kie’s knowledge of the relationship is part of the reason she insists on waking you up one morning at the chateau. She and Pope had stayed the night, as well as JJ. JJ was nowhere to be found, but the group just assumed that he had run home to grab spare clothes or something.

Well, the boys assumed that.

Kie knew better.

Her suspicions were completely confirmed when she entered your room to find you and JJ cuddled together, just like all those months ago when she had first found out.

“Wake up, guys! JB and Pope are awake. JJ, hop out the window and pretend you went to get clothes from your house. You don’t have a lot of time.”

Immediately, you and your boyfriend were launching up out of the bed. He followed his usual routine of kissing you goodbye and then jumping out of the window. You thanked Kie before beginning to search for your swimsuit.

“You’re welcome, babes. And by the way, I’d make sure to cover up that fatass hickey on your neck before walking out of this room.”

Kie gives you a wink before walking out of the room and closing the door, leaving you there with red cheeks and wide eyes.

You moved immediately to your mirror, and examined the left side of your neck. Sure enough, there it was: a large bruise that JJ had taken his sweet time on the night before. You huffed, recalling when he was giving it to you.

“JJ, don’t.” You breathed, lightly pushing him off you. “You can’t leave marks, everyone will see.”

“Let them see.” He lifted his lips off your neck to look you in the eyes. “I’m tired of hiding that you’re mine. I want everyone to know that you’re taken, by me. Let them see, babe, I don’t care.”

For a moment, he had you agreeing with him. Who cares if everyone finds out? They’d just find out eventually anyways. What’s the difference if they find out sooner rather than later?

But, you eventually cam to your senses. “I’m tired of hiding too, J. We’ll tell them soon, but I don’t want my brother to find out I’m with his best friend by seeing the hickey his best friend gave me.”

JJ paused his movements for the second time, breathing and thinking for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you're right.” He bites your earlobe, then leans in to whisper in your ear.

“I’ll make it small. I still want my mark on you.”

Clearly, JJ had lied. The bruise on your neck was absolutely massive, and you’d have your work cut out for you when it came to covering it up. Sighing, you reached for your makeup bag, pulling out some color corrector and concealer.

A good thirty minutes later, the bruise was covered enough to go unnoticed, and you were outside on the dock, dressed in a pink swimsuit and a pair of shorts. John B and Pope were on the boat, preparing it for you day on the water. Kie was inside shoving snacks, water bottles, and beer into a small cooler. JJ, who had just finished rolling a few blunts, came walking out of the house. You heard him approaching behind you, and whipped around to face him.

“I have a bone to pick with you, Maybank.” You glared, crossing your arms over your chest. Your boyfriend looked nervous, his smiling face immediately shifting to a concerned one.

“What’s wrong, babe?” He said quietly, making sure that the other pogues were out of earshot before using the nickname. JJ knew you well, and any term of endearment made you melt for him. He always used them, but was particularly heavy on the nicknames when you were upset with him.

“Last night, I told you not to leave marks. But you insisted, and you told me you’d leave a small one.”

“Yes, that happened. So why are you upset with me?”

“Because the hickey I woke up to this morning was anything but small. It took me twenty minutes and half my concealer to cover that shit up! Are you fucking crazy? Are you trying to get us caught?”

JJ moved towards you, probably to take you in his arms, but caught himself just before he did it, glancing up at the boys on the boat.

“I’m sorry, love. I couldn’t help myself. You look so fucking hot with my marks on your neck. It’s too hard to resist. Believe me, I tried.”

“Then try fucking harder, Maybank! Do I need to remind you that your ass is on the line here, way more than mine? Birdie’s not gonna beat my ass if he finds a hickey on my neck, he’s gonna beat yours! And then I get to have a screaming match with my brother after patching you up in the bathroom. I don’t know about you, but that is not the way I want anybody to find out about our relationship.”

JJ opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again with a sigh. He knew you were right.

“You’re right, baby. I’m sorry. I need to gain better self control. It won’t happen again, I’ll listen to you next time. I’m sorry angel, really. Forgive me?”

He was giving you those puppy dog eyes that he knew you couldn’t resist. After a moment of staring into them, you finally gave in. “yes, bebs, I forgive you. But don’t do that shit again, or so help me God…”

Your boyfriend broke out in an ear to ear grin. You could tell that he wanted nothing more than to kiss you and take you in his arms, but he obviously couldn’t. “Thank you! I love you, angel.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, allowing a smile to creep onto your face. “You’re lucky I love you, too. Now come on, I think they have the boat ready to go.”

------

A few hours later, everyone is lounging on the boat. You’d been out on the marsh for a good four hours, and the whole group was beginning to grow tired. The late afternoon sun bared down relentlessly on you, warming your skin and causing your body to overheat, despite the fact that you’d been swimming in the cool water for the past hour.

“God, it’s so damn hot out here. Can the sun chill the hell out for a second?” You complained, taking a swig of your beer.

The rest of the group murmured their agreement from various places on the boat. Absentmindedly, you gather your wet hair in your hand, holding it up on the back of your head to try and relieve the heat on your neck.

Big, big mistake.

Unknowingly, you’d exposed the massive hickey on the side of your neck for the entire boat to see.

The makeup you’d piled on that morning had apparently faded while you swam. Your hair covering it was the only thing keeping you from exposing yourself, and now it was revealed.

“What the HELL is that, Y/N?” Your brother was speaking, pointing at your now exposed hickey.

You looked immediately at JJ, whose eyes had gone wide and cheeks were pink.

“Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Birdie.” You replied quickly, not knowing what else to do.

“Is that a fucking hickey?” John B was walking towards you now, and your eyes were wide. You backed away from him, but you could only go so far on the small boat. He reached you eventually, pushing the hair from the side of your neck to reveal the bruise once again.

For a moment, your brother was silent. Strangely, this made you even more nervous then if he was screaming and shouting. You knew your brother well enough to know he was composing himself.

So that he wouldn’t strangle somebody.

“Who did it?” he said quietly. His voice was shaking with anger.

“Did what?” Your voice was shaking as well, but with fear for your boyfriend’s life instead.

“Who gave you the fucking hickey, Y/N! Stop playing dumb! Who did that to your neck.”

Panicking, you glanced over at JJ.

Yet another big, big mistake.

This glance was enough for John B to realize what the answer to his question was. You watched the pieces slowly connect in his mind, and then he was speaking again.

“It was YOU?” He rounded on the blonde boy near the edge of the boat. “You’re messing with my baby sister? Are you fucking kidding me, JJ?”

“Calm down, bird! It’s not what you think.” You were immediately at your brother’s side, trying to calm him down before your boyfriend’s body ended up at the bottom of marsh.

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Y/N! I think this is exactly what it looks like! It looks like this dickhead has a screwing around with my sister when I specifically told him not to!”

“We’re not just screwing around, John B!” JJ said in defense.

“Really? What the fuck else are you doing that would end with my baby sister having a hickey on her neck?”

“We’re dating!” You burst out. “We’ve been dating. For six months now.”

John B turned towards you immediately after your statement. He looked completely dumbfounded, as if he couldn’t possibly process the information he had just been given.

“Six months?” he echoed, and you nodded.

John B turned back to JJ.

“Surprise?” The blonde boy, hoping to lighten the mood.

Obviously, he was unsuccessful.

“You’ve been messing with my sister for SIX MONTHS, and I’m JUST NOW finding out? What the hell is wrong with you? I’m gonna fucking kill you!”

Before anyone could do anything to stop him, John B was lunging at JJ.

As if he’d been preparing to do so, JJ jumped off the side of the boat, landing cleanly in the water.

John B stood over the side of the boat screaming at him.

You mad eye contact with Kie,who was giggling slightly at the whole situation. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

This was going to be a long night.

~~~~~ A/N: Anddddd there’s the end! I really hope you guys liked this!

All notes and reblogs are highly appreciated!

ALSO: SEND REQUESTS!!

I love you guys so much,and Happy Holidays!!!!!

[random-imagines-blog]

Teenage Queen {Viktor Krum x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2835 Summary: Related to one Champion, ex of another and the budding love interest of a third. It’s one weird year.

Your final year at Hogwarts was not turning out to be as perfect as you had expected. You were just hoping that everything would go as normal; no deadly and dangerous adventures for your little brother Harry and his friends, no fighting with your boyfriend Cedric. Just a perfectly mediocre year where you focus on your studies, get good NEWTS and move on to train at your dream job. And then along came The Triwizard Tournament. Well, at least it was for Seventh Years only, and you had no intention of entering - and your fourth year brother certainly wouldn’t have a part to play in it, would he?

You couldn’t have one simple year at Hogwarts, could you? Not that you blamed your brother but ever since he had come along in his first year, things have been going wrong left, right and center. First, your boyfriend Cedric had been chosen as the Hogwarts champion, which he didn’t even tell you that he had entered. You were mad about that, but then when it came to the interviews and Rita Skeeter poking around, you had enough of it. Even his friends were coming along and asking questions about your personal life, since he was the only one of the FOUR champions to have a partner. This ended up in you breaking up with him, because he didn’t see the big deal about all of the intrusive questions. It was mutual, eventually, but you had to wear him down in order for him to see that it would be better if you spent some time apart.

And then Harry, sweet little Harry Potter who couldn’t catch a break, was chosen to be the Fourth Champion, which was entirely unheard of. You had charged into the room where the champions were and you gave Dumbledore a mouthful of words, as well as the Minister of Magic, but the rules were the rules and he had to compete. You tried throwing back that the rules had stated that it was only for Seventh Years, and that there was only to be one champion per school, but they claimed that their hands were tied. After that, you took Harry’s hand and pulled him out of there so the two of you could talk alone.

You were devastated. Especially in the coming days when it became apparent that a lot of people, including his best friend, thought that he had put his name in the Goblet of Fire. It was completely far away from Harry’s personality, and you vowed to help him through everything, studying your ass off on his tasks on top of your school work. He still had Hermione, though, and that was a relief. You were more worried about him than you had been about Cedric, whom you were convinced would do absolutely fine in the Tournament, and probably didn’t need your assistance.

-

You were sitting by the lake one day, doing your extra-curriculars. You took just the necessary classes this year, having dropped Divination and Arithmancy so you wouldn’t have to study as hard. But you were doing studies of your own, particularly in Russian. You wanted a job in which you got to travel the world, so you decided that taking languages, a course only done through talking books, was a good way to go. You were fluent in French, and learned more about pronunciation through the Beauxbatons students, but you didn’t know much Russian, so you decided to take that up so you could communicate with Durmstrang as well.

You were coming along pretty well, though your pronunciation needed some work. You were practicing in the weak sunlight of the Scottish Autumn, muttering to yourself. “Ya chuvstvuyu-” You started to pronounce, then realized it didn’t sound right, so you tried again. “Ya chuvstvuya,” You put more emphasis in, “-tvoyu lyubov segodnya.”

“Ochen khorosho!” The book praised back to you. You smiled, the romantic phases being something that you wanted to master. Okay, so maybe you weren’t entirely over the break-up with Cedric. It wasn’t him in particular, it was just having someone to care about, someone to care about you that you missed.

“Who var you talking to?” A puzzled voice said. You looked up from the speaking book to see that there was a student in front of you. You were so into your book that you hadn’t even noticed anyone approaching. The sun was behind him, casting his face in shadow, though the robes showed Durmstrang.

“Myself,” You said, then held up the book to show what you were doing. “Practicing Russian. I’m on the chapter of romantic phrases.”

The student looked delighted, and much to your surprise, he sat down with you, looking over the pages. It was only as he leaned over to take a closer look, his finger running across some of the words, which made the book giggle aloud, that you realized exactly who it was. You turned red at this realization - because it was nonother than celebrity champion Viktor Krum, who you had just seen at the World Cup. You remembered the way that Cedric had gushed over how good of a seeker he was, and how amazing his flying techniques were.

“This one good-” He said, pointing to a certain phrase and then said it out loud. You read along with it, your eyes following his finger, but he added more to the sentence, words that you weren’t sure of.

“What does that mean?” You asked, realizing that you were still as red as a rose at his close proximity. You tried to tell yourself to act natural, pretend that it wasn’t a celebrity - a very handsome celebrity - that was this close to you, but you found it impossible. It wasn’t everyday that someone came into your space like this. The last person had been Cedric, but the two of you didn’t spend any time together since the break up. Just nods in the hallways, and awkward grins if you had a class together. You haven’t tried to date anyone else since, though Rita kept coming up with stories about you cheating on him with other boys. You hoped she wasn’t snooping around now with that damn quill of hers.

“You var my paradise,” He said, in his heavily accented English. That part was in the book. “-My...” He looked around, as if having trouble with translation. He pointed up at the sky, and then did little flapping motions with his hands. When you gave him a puzzled look, he put his hands above his head, his index and thumbs together to make a circle.

“Heaven?” You asked. He shook his head so you took another guess after piecing it together. “Heaven?" He nodded, with a smile and then continued to look around. He then pointed straight towards the sun, which was hiding behind clouds. “Sun?” You guessed once more. He nodded again.

“You var my paradise - my heaven - my sun.” He said, looking quite proud of himself. And he was saying it while he was looking right at you, which just made you feel all the warmer. You hadn’t really given anyone attention since Cedric, and since most of Hogwarts thought you two were the dream couple, no one else had tried to hit on you. But here was Viktor Krum, reciting such lovely things for you in a language that you were only beginning to understand.

“Beautiful,” You muttered in his mother tongue, and he beamed as he recognized the word. Until it was no longer light enough to study, and you had to conjure up a light and keep it in a jar - thank you Hermione for that idea - in order to see anything, he helped you along with your studies. And yet, you never seemed to get past the chapter of romance. He introduced you to new phrases, and would practice with you until you had the pronunciation down perfectly. The book had been quiet for a while, having no critiques for you, you were doing so well. “Thank you so much - you taught me a lot,” You said, getting onto your feet.

“You’re velcome,” He said, bowing his head respectfully, jumping up effortlessly. You scrambled to put your book into your bag, and he helped you, holding your bag open for you. “Maybe you can help me,” He suggested. You tilted your head, questioning what this man could ever want help with. The first task had gone swimmingly for him, he was a Quidditch star, he was handsome to boot. “With een-glish.”

“Oh, of course!” You said with a grin. “I would love to help. Why don’t you meet me in the library on Saturday?”

-

Four different boys asked you to the Yule Ball, and you had said yes to only one of them - sort of. Unfortunately for Harry, it wasn’t his best friend Ron who just seemed desperate to go with anyone. When you told the two boys that you already had a date, your brother kept questioning who it was. He seemed to have a theory that you were back with Cedric, which couldn’t be further from the case. You just left them guessing, looking forward to seeing their faces when you appeared.

Thanks to the small fortune that your parents had left for you and Harry, you were able to afford a stunning dress. And with some small alterations, you could probably make it last forever. It was your favorite color, floor length with see-through sleeves and a pinched waist to really bring out your body shape.

That, along with your confident smile and you were ready to go.

Your date wasn’t in your house, in fact he wasn’t even from this school. You flushed as you remembered exactly what Viktor had done in order to ask you, and you had to applaud his trickiness. He had written out ‘Will you go to the ball with me’ in Russian, and asked you to translate it. You had done so, thinking that perhaps he wanted to ask out one of the many Hogwarts girls who had fawned after him throughout the hallways, but instead of repeating it back to you, he had said ‘Love to.’ It took you a minute to realize what he had done, and you couldn’t stop laughing once you had it figured out. You agreed with that, and your date was set.

You were going to the Yule Ball with a champion. That was what worried you the most. The attention that you were going to get since you and Viktor had to participate in a dance in front of the student body. He hadn’t had the time to practice, since his own Headmaster was keeping him busy with studying for the tasks, but you did have another willing partner. Your brother Harry. It was easiest with him since he had to do the same dance at the same time.

As you walked down the stairs with a couple of other girls who were meeting their dates, you were nervous to see if all of that practicing had paid off. You caught your brother’s eye as he went down the stairs and gave him a confident wink. He had asked out one of the Patil twins, you had heard, and you were very much looking forward to teasing him about it after all was said and done. Your date wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs in the herd like many of the other males, but further back, trying not to bring attention to himself. He stepped forward when you reached the foot of the staircase, maneuvering expertly through the people in his red suit, and held his hand out to you. You took hold of it, making many in the crowd gasp.

“Krum?” You heard your brother and his best friend say in unison.

You gave a teasing little wave to them as you were lead into the Great Hall, which had been transformed into a beautiful ballroom for the occasion. It looked like a winter wonderland in here, and it took your breath away. You were given a grand entrance, where Viktor, Fleur and Harry were also introduced, before taking part in the dance. You couldn’t help but notice that you were also getting looks from Cedric, who was here with Cho Chang, a pretty Ravenclaw.

You ignored all of those looks, focusing on Viktor, and Viktor alone. He remained the stiff, very concentrated man that you had gotten to know through your studies, though once in a while, when no one was looking, he smiled. The dance went off without a hitch, which was amazing considering he had to lift you. That’s the part that you were nervous about, but his strong arms managed to do the task and you felt safe throughout. You did feel a little better once both feet were on the ground.

Once the dance was over, and the band began playing something less traditional and upbeat, you were able to blend more into the crowd. “I get us drinks,” Viktor winked, giving you a thumbs up as he departed from your side for the first time of the night. You felt even more flushed by the wink than you did by the dance, so you leaned back against one of the columns and took a glance to see who had brought whom.

You smiled as you watched Harry and Ron sitting, refusing to dance with their dates. An older Gryffindor had asked Hermione, and the two of them were out on the dance floor. For the first time, it seemed like the school was entirely at peace. Houses with other houses and schools with other schools. You couldn’t help smiling as Hagrid danced with Madame Maxime. Even Dumbledore had a turn on the dance floor.

“May I have a dance?” A familiar voice said from next to you. You turned to look into those honey colored eyes that had made you swoon the year before, but now - now you just felt nothing. And it was great to just feel nothing.

“I don’t think so,” You said, smiling through your rejection. “Viktor will be back any minute with some drinks. I’m absolutely parched.”

“He wouldn’t let you dance with an old friend?” Cedric asked, raising an eyebrow. You saw through what he was doing, unfortunately. Playing the nice guy. You realized that him seeing you with Viktor must really have gotten under his skin.

“I’m sure he would,” You said, demurely. This was like something right out of a book for teenagers. A love triangle - but you weren’t going to let it be that way. That required feelings for the third person, and you no longer had that. Still, you felt like some sort of Queen with all of the attention that you were getting. “But I honestly just want to save every dance for him. He’s a wonderful dancer, must come with being a professional athlete. Did you see him out there?”

“I did,” Cedric conceded. “And I saw how happy you were - so I’m happy for you, y/n.”

“I’d hope so,” You said, spotting Viktor coming forward. You excused yourself from Cedric, and went to meet him, taking the glass of punch from his hands. You noticed that for the first time in the night, he wasn’t looking at you, but was scowling over at Cedric. You had told him about your past with Cedric, and about your brother being Harry. It hadn’t worried him at all that you were close with two of the other contestants, or at least it hadn’t until now. “Thank you,” You said, laying your hand upon his arm as you took a sip from the glass goblet.

“Vhat did he vant?” Viktor asked, pointing his chin towards Cedric, who was still standing by the column, looking at you solemnly. You shook your head as the ugly beast called jealousy made an appearance.

“He wanted to tell me that he’s happy for me, that I’m here with you,” You said, smiling, since it was a truth, though maybe not the whole truth. “And I must say, I share the feeling.”

The stoic look remained on Viktor’s face for a moment more. You didn’t like it. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. You leaned in and pressed a kiss onto his stubbled cheek, and grew excited as it seemed to light up. He was finally smiling once again, and you both turned so your backs were towards your ex. “Vant to dance?” He asked, draining his own cup.

“With you?” You said, leaning in so you could rest his head on his broad shoulder. “All night long.”

[yichens]

some heihua for the soul

so the update for Binding isn’t happening today bc my brain is complete mush after trying to aggressively finish my thesis yesterday and i decided to give my brain two days off bc of that. also, i promised @ashenwren some time to beta read the ending part (which they already did but! now i need some time with it myself) so i am leaving everybody to wait until saturday. 

meanwhile, i am offering yall a sneak peek/first look at my heihua fic which is very loosely tied to my pingxie. basically, this is just me playing around with hei xiazi as a character and his and xiao hua’s dynamic’s more... tender side. 

i know that @jockvillagersonly and ashen have already read this which has been amazing so thank you for your love ♥ but take this again ^^ also thanks to @cross-d-a for listening to me ramble about heihua and sharing this idea with me. and thank you to @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ who i’m doing all of this for ♥ you are the best parent-in-law for these two and this fandom!

It’s a bad week for him. 

First, it’s the girl he finds while raiding a warehouse full of smuggled weapons and possibly, most likely, drugs. She’s maybe twelve, eyes wide and hair messy, bones poking her skin where Hei Xiazi can see her elbows flashing under her short sleeves. There are bruises around her wrists and burn marks on the inside of her arms. She doesn’t speak but she doesn’t have to, all of her screaming of experiences worthy of a hundred years instead of a dozen. 

She presses her face into her hands when Hei Xiazi fires his gun, and he feels something come loose inside of him at the broken, aborted noise she makes that rings louder than the shot itself. 

Hei Xiazi carries her kicking and screaming out of the warehouse, leaving behind the slowly ending gun fight and the smell of gasoline. She only goes silent once Hei Xiazi puts her down, flinching bodily away from him but not going far. She hovers, fingers slowly curling around the hem of his long jacket while they wait, shoulders hunching against the cold. Hei Xiazi offers her his jacket with a smile, buys her a sandwich which she then throws up, and helps her into a hospital once they’re safe to leave. 

No one else stays behind with her. All the other people they found from that warehouse scattered as soon as the fight began and only she remained, lost in the thought of having to leave the premises that had become her world. She has no family, no house, no money. Hei Xiazi watches her leave with the social workers, bones of her wrists like twigs threatening to snap even after some proper meals and eyes so big they seem to swallow the light around her. She still hasn’t said a word. Hei Xiazi doubts she ever will. 

Her pale face looks like a ghost as she turns to give Hei Xiazi one last glance over her shoulder, and that’s what she becomes to him once he goes home and puts that warehouse out of his mind. It’s hard and he feels himself haunted, and whatever it was that got loose in his chest rattles like the tail of a snake. 

Then, he hears about Su Wan. Hears about the mission that went south with the three youngsters. Hears about Su Wan getting hurt. 

It isn’t anything new in their line of business to get hurt, to even die. When he first met the boy in the desert, he predicted he would find him six feet under after only a day. There was too much softness in Su Wan, too much trust, too much naivete. He had a big brain and clever ideas but his core was gooey, leaking out in way too telling bursts, leaving nothing hidden. 

Su Wan had reminded Hei Xiazi of young Wu Xie. Even his floundering with his knife had reminded him of Wu Xie. Even his adaptability had been annoyingly similar to Wu Xie’s, and Hei Xiazi had questioned his taste in students. At least the boy had paid better. At least the boy hadn’t been wishing to die. 

He had not expected, after knowing all of that, to experience such fear when he first heard that Su Wan had gotten himself stabbed and had almost bled out in a cave, with only Li Cu and Yang Hao to look after himself and a saving bed of a hospital hours away. His hands had shook, making it impossible to hold anything while trying to breathe, and he had quickly been reminded of the little girl, torn open and going a bit feral just because she didn’t know what to do.

It was a surprisingly new thing to care. As surprising as the fact that he still knew of such things.

“I thought I had taught you better, kid,” he says as he goes to the hospital, in the middle of the night of all things, having to cover Su Wan’s mouth so that he doesn’t scream and wake up the better half of the city. The boy’s eyes are wide and heartbeat rapid under his fingers where he can feel it pulsing against Su Wan’s jaw. Then the boy is scrambling at his fingers to speak from between them. He pulls his hand away. 

“Hei-ye!” the boy whispers fervently, like an anchor casted in water. “I thought you were out of the country!”  

“I was until yesterday when I heard that you got stabbed,” he explains, voice leaning more towards mockery than any actual care. Su Wan knows what that means. The boy knows more than anyone else has ever known about a person like Hei Xiazi. It’s a strange thing but Hei Xiazi has come to almost like it. 

“I’m fine!” the boy chirps, lighting up like a lightbulb. Hei Xiazi helps him sit in his bed, snatching a chair for himself from the corner, and then evaluates the damage. Su Wan is smiling while a thick roll of bandages circle his stomach. There are at least thirty stitches there, curving along his side. Some more adorn his bicep where he tried to evade another blade. A darkening bruise is making his cheek swell, casting an extra shadow under his chin. 

Hei Xiazi sighs and closes his eyes when Su Wan starts to tell the story, his voice a soft whisper made even softer with lingering sleep. The beep of the machines tell Hei Xiazi the boy is alive. The painful thrum of his own heart tells him he’s alive too. 

Su Wan falls asleep holding onto Hei Xiazi’s sleeve. He cannot remember how the boy got the leather between his fingers but prying his hold away is like bending steel. It feels impossible and burns equal amounts. 

Finally, he slips back into the cold night. 

He doesn’t go to his apartment, the one he’s currently occupying, his few belongings strewn across the floor and nothing making the place feel like his. Even after years and years and years, some part of him still feels sick at the thought of emptiness. He’s tried his hardest to carve his bones empty and chest clean but after each year spent alone or with someone or wanting, he realizes it’s a battle he cannot win. There’s something terribly strong under his ribs. It refuses to die even before his curse of immortality and the knowledge that goes beyond his comprehension. It refuses to die even when facing the cold, cruel world. 

The walls surrounding the Xie Manor are high but not high enough to keep him at bay. If they were, he would’ve never come here. He would’ve never returned, not after he once left. 

Climbing up the wall of the manor to the third floor makes his lungs burn, but then he’s pushing the window open already, stepping silently onto the polished floor. 

“Xiazi,” a familiar voice says, not even pretending to sound sleepy. “It’s three in the morning. Is it really a suitable time to be visiting the head of Xie family?”

Hei Xiazi smiles, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it onto the back of a chair beside him. The air in the room feels chilly with the window open but he likes to hear the noises from outside and he likes the line of silver painted onto the floor and across the luxurious double bed. He likes that he can pretend his vision is so clear just because of the moon. 

“Hua’er-ye,” he says back, voice like honey because he loves to tease this man and loves how the tone makes his perfect eyebrows pinch. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”

“I would dream you naked at least, not dripping mud all over my floors.”

“As you wish,” he says and reaches for his own belt before moving closer to the bed, toeing his shoes off on the first two steps.

Xie Yuchen is warm but firm when Hei Xiazi meets his body, crashing into his lips and then slipping hands down his silk covered spine. He hums, hiding his laugh. He’s always loved the absolute brilliance and practicality and strength of this man but under all that, Xie Yuchen is a little spoiled. A rich family head. A powerful man with more money than Hei Xiazi could possibly imagine. He’s never tried, not really caring. For all his acting, he’s never gone for Xie Yuchen for his money. 

He takes care of helping Xie Yuchen out of his expensive pajamas, kissing him wet and shivering after each uncovered piece of skin. There is something beautiful about Xie Yuchen in the stark light of the moon, eyes burning bright and the line of his throat like an invitation. Hei Xiazi wishes he could tell him that, sometimes, but he’s preferred to seal his lips. His poetry would not suit the ears of Xie Yuchen. 

He’s never been one for pretty words, crude and almost barbaric instead, tongue made out of barbwire and mind of a strategic plan. Between them, all those edges exist in harmony, and so he’s never felt the need for anything more, enjoying the simplicity of just being. 

Ironically, as the sun is already rising, coloring the horizon with its colorless light, he still descends into words. It’s like something is pulling them out of his chest, and when there’s a force outside of his control beneath his ribs, he cannot do anything but unravel upon Xie Yuchen’s white satin sheets.

“There was this girl,” he says, looking into the still remaining dark – or as dark as anything can be for his eyes, that comfort taken from him ages ago. “I saved her from a warehouse a couple of days ago. She didn’t speak, couldn’t eat because she’d been kept hungry for so long. There were burn marks on her arms, probably from cigarettes or a lighter. They told me she was thirteen. She didn’t look like she was thirteen.”

Xie Yuchen’s hands are on his back, brushing lightly against his shoulder blades, drawing something there. His heartbeat is steady under Hei Xiazi’s cheek and his skin burns, burns, burns. He remembers how he had looked at that girl in the eyes and seen himself there. 

“I remember,” he says quietly, closing his eyes, “feeling the same burn on my skin. I have no memories of when or why but I know there were cigarettes. I know her pain. I know the scars.”

“Were you a child back then?” Xie Yuchen asks, his body a strong, sturdy thing against him. A rock. A mountain. He never thought he would feel lost in this world but there is something about himself in every child he’s ever saved, in all of their wide, fearful eyes, in all of their screams, their desperate fight, their bared teeth and messy heads of hair. There’s something about him in all of their thrumming, wild panic, like a bird under their skin; in their desperation to get away, to find a place to belong, to find safety and food and trust. To heal a body that has not been their own or has felt like an enemy or a liability or a curse. 

He cannot remember the time he was a child, cannot remember the time before he went blind and began to see too much, cannot remember being anything but this eternal man on the outskirts of the world. He cannot remember ever having a family or feeling the absence of it. 

But then, there’s this echo in his mind. It rings back from the eyes of every child he’s ever tried to help. He thinks, maybe, he still knows how he lost. 

“I only remember being burned,” he says. “I only remember the pain and being afraid. And isn’t that a stupid thing to remember when it could be so many things?” He laughs, as much as it can be a laugh when something twists inside of his chest, bringing tightly together that something that was let loose. He chokes on it, feeling his voice die down. Xie Yuchen turns beside him so that they both lie on their sides, looking at each other. The line of the moon falls over Xie Yuchen’s hips and almost lands on Hei Xiazi’s waiting hand. 

“Bad things linger,” Xie Yuchen says with a certainty of a man who knows this to be true. During the years, Hei Xiazi has learned a couple of the bad things that happened to this proud man. “But you are turning them into something good.”

“And how much does it change to save a couple of children?” he huffs, tired of the heart that cannot leave him at peace.  

“For them, everything.”

[jeonqquk]

i think i love you | pjm

pairing- jimin x reader genre/tags- fluff, a lil bit of angst, jimin doesn’t know he loves yn, yuna being the cupid she is rating- 13+ word count- 2k words

Your sullen gaze meets Taehyung’s, his hazel eyes slightly widening in shock and- you spot- worry. You’re sitting at one of the round tables covered with the silky white cloth, plum coloured dress starting to crease from the lengthy amount of time you’d been sitting. At the party. Jisung had wanted to celebrate his graduation with his close friends and family too, so him being your colleague at the bakery you worked at had invited all of your limited staff members. You had thought that it was going to be held at a bar but he had surprised all of you by saying that you would be celebrating in a nice restaurant. Hence, you were wearing the velvet dress with the matching heels Jimin had gotten you for your second anniversary.

Jimin. 

Your heart hurt thinking about him, his sweet smile, chocolate eyes and all the other perfect traits about him filling your head. You missed him, a lot. But knew that your break up was good for the both of you. The two of you had dated for 4 years before something just seemed off, it gradually increased and soon, the two of you were just barely having time for each other. The relationship wasn’t healthy, but don’t take it the wrong way! You really loved Jimin and were very satisfied with him for a long time but then, because of your jobs and other work, you just weren’t having time for Jimin. He never abused you or anything. Oh, heck no. 

The break-up had been better than your previous ones, honestly. It had occurred at your doorstep- not the best place- but Jimin hadn’t thrown a fit, unlike your previous partners and gotten angry about your decision. In fact, he had acted maturely, one of the things you absolutely admired him for and had said “I had been thinking about this too..” There had been no crying and you were glad that Jimin and you were still on good terms despite being exes. He was dating Yuna now, and really, you were happy for him. She obviously made him very glad and you had never wanted anything other than happiness for Jimin, even if it meant sacrificing your own. 

Suddenly feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you get up hurriedly. As you run out, you even ignore Jimin who confusedly reaches his hand out before you’re disappearing outside. You reach the small lawn outside and breathe in, trying to relax yourself.

You hated yourself, the lone reason being that you still had feelings for Jimin. You didn’t know why, how or when. All you knew was that you still loved Jimin, even if the end was 50% of your decision. But knowing that you couldn’t do anything about your unwanted feelings for your ex, you had always kept this to yourself. Just after you officially let him go, you instantly began regretting your decision.

We may have been going through a rough patch but we could work it out. 

No amount of bars you drank at helped you forget about your stupid decision but your mind still kept going back to when he said that he too thought that you should break up. He wouldn’t have been happy in the relationship. 

Sighing loudly, you’re too lost in your own thoughts consuming you that you don’t notice someone walking towards you. The feeling of a jacket being draped over your shoulder makes you realise that with a jolt and you identify who the clothing belongs to even without looking at it. The smell gave it all away.

Jimin.

Turning around with wide eyes, you see Jimin standing behind you with his hands in his trouser pockets. His gaze is curious and you quickly run over all the lies you could tell him to get out of the situation. The situation being him asking you why you had run out of the restaurant without any words and even ignored him You feel a pang of guilt in your gut- partially from the fact that you know that you’re now gonna lie to him. And hopefully, even get away with it. 

You’re in the middle of opening your mouth to tell him that you were suddenly feeling dizzy which is why you headed out without informing anyone but a certain song reaches your ears. 

It doesn’t take you even half a second to realise which song it was and before you know it, your eyes are welling up with tears threatening to spill out of your eyes again. The emotions all suddenly burst and a tear slides down your cheek. 

Jimin stares at you in shock, before immediately springing into action and pulling you into him. His arms tightly wrapped around you, your head is buried in his chest, and this certain feeling has you pressing yourself closer to him.

As much as you’re enjoying this, you know that Jimin is dating someone else and although his intentions are obviously very innocent, you don’t know if you can hold yourself back from confessing your love for him right now. 

Unwillingly and reluctantly, you break the hug, the melody of the song that had been playing when Jimin first kissed you at prom still filling your ears. “Our song..” you mumble and he nods, “I thought they didn’t play anything other than The Police.” he chuckles at your words and his lips part softly, “I had to pay them 20 bucks.” your eyes widen at his words and you lift your head to meet his gaze.

“Will you dance with me?” the memories of all the other times he had asked you to move rhythmically to the beat of a song come flooding back in and you almost nod, before stopping yourself when you remember that a Yuna also existed. 

“Jimin..” his pleading eyes make it specifically tough to reject his very tempting offer. “No, we can’t. You’re dating Yuna..” you trail off at the mention of her name and Jimin immediately rushes to speak, shocking you. 

“I broke up with her.” He himself looks surprised that he said this but after a few second of the two of you just staring at each other, he closes his eyes for a split second. “Y/n, will you dance with me?”

“You broke up with Yuna?” you completely ignore his question and settle for asking him another one instead. Making no effort to hide the astonishmnet in your voice, you look at Jimin expectantly, and he keeps his hand on your waist, the butterflies in your stomach becoming unbearable at this point. “Yeah, we broke up with each other, to be completely honest.”

2 hours ago

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Yuna had never been one to beat around the bush- and Jimin was well acquainted with that- but the sudden straightforwardness she confronted him with left him breathless. “W-What?” he hated stuttering, but this was so out of the blue, he couldn’t help it. They had been cheerily talking to some friends when Yuna had asked Jimin if she could ‘have a moment’ with him. He had agreed and looked at her in worry for any problem she may have been having. 

Instead, she had roughly kissed him. Desperately. Her fingers tangled in his hair and Jimin had responded, grabbing her waist but something about the kiss just seemed off. He tried brushing it aside and leaned into her, pressing her into the wall of the small room they were in. Yuna quickly broke the kiss and looked at Jimin for his reaction, his fake smile not convincing her. Don’t get him wrong, Jimin really did like Yuna but just couldn’t picture a future with her. Whenever he had thought about waking up next to his future wife and smothering his children’s faces with smooches- the woman had always been you and their kids had acquired your pretty eyes. He didn’t know why, but supposed that it was because he had spent most of his dating life with you. 

Coming back to the present, Yuna let go of Jimin’s black tie and looked down at her feet, gaze not meeting Jimin’s. Looking at her in confusion, he tried lifting his girlfriend’s face to meet his and was met by the one question he had never expected her to ask.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Jimin was taken aback and scrambled to form coherent sentences as Yuna looked at him in disappointment. She knew all about you and how Jimin and you had shared a very special bond before breaking off. She also knew that somewhere deep in his heart, where Jimin had buried all of his feelings for you, he was still in love with you. One might ask why she had still agreed to date him and her answer was simple. To make the stupid boy realise that he still loved you. It was true that she liked Jimin but similar to him, she just didn’t think he was the one for her. 

She tells him this right now, and he’s left astounded once again, this thought never having crossed his mind. 

“R-really?” Yuna nods with a sad smile on her face and watches Jimin’s face lose all colour. “Hey, hey. Jimin, look at me. I’m sorry okay? I know this was stupid but I know that you still love Y/n.” Jimin sighs loudly and tugs at his hair, a habit many people around him had gotten accustomed to. 

“I think I still love her..” Yuna laughs at Jimin’s obliviousness at his own feelings and puts a hand on his shoulder as he resolutely nods to himself before meeting Yuna’s eyes. 

“Okay. So, I’m going to have to break up with you..” his voice falters at his words that didn’t sound so bad in his head but continues anyways “A-And then I’m going to tell Y/n how I feel.” the plan sounds terrible but he has to confess as soon as possible or he might lose his mind. Yuna just nods along with a pitiful smile on her face, she obviously knows that Jimin’s plan was messed up. 

“Go get her.” she whispers and Jimin is instantly running off to where he saw you walk out.

“Oh..” you’re at a loss for words and it takes you a full minute to regain your composure before your tongue darts out to lick your dry lips. Hugging Jimin’s jacket closer to your body, you revel in the amazing scent. Jimin opens his mouth but no sound comes out and he ends up closing it. A silence falls over the two of you. 

“Dance with me?” this is the third time he’s asking you and this time, you waste no time in nodding, the coat he had so graciously given you almost falling from your shoulders in the hurry.

Jimin’s hands land on your waist and yours find purchase on his shoulders. He moves both your bodies to the slow tune and you muster the courage to lean in closer. He smirks and you just look at his godly features, plush lips inviting and brown orbs piercing directly through your soul. 

You don’t know who initiates the kiss but before you can comprehend it, Jimin’s lips are meeting yours. His arms move to wrap around your waist completely, walking you backwards to someplace you didn’t know.

“Ji-Jimin..” he breaks off with a sweet chu and you simply stare at the beautiful boy in front of you, unable to believe that what was happening was real. “Be my girlfriend again?” his cheeky smile makes it hard to resist pinching his cheeks and you nod with a shy smile. 

You both decide not to go back inside and just spend time with each other for now. You try returning his jacket but he doesn’t take it. Instead, he makes you wear it again and hugs you from behind as the two of you walk on the silent street back to his house. 

His ‘I love you’ is muffled by your hair but you still hear it, smiling and replying with a short kiss to his lips. “I like how your chapstick tastes.” he snorts in response, but the sides of his lips still curl upwards.

“It’s strawberry flavoured, I’ll buy you one too.”

thanks for reading! please send in feedback through asks or dms :)

pReSS dIs gReen ReCyClE BuTtOn. iT WoNt hUrT, pRess dIs bUttON. thE HuRt bUttOn aNd TheN ThE GrEeN ArrOw bUttoN. 

[imaginesandinserts]

Irreverent Pt. 43 - Meant To Be

Title: Irreverent Pt. 43 - Meant To Be Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: M Words: 22,571

A/N: I’m very nervous about this chapter, but I think it’s important nonetheless and I’m asking you to bear with me on it. I am very aware that this is an Aaron Hotchner story at its core, but I’d be remiss if I ignored the back story for a Reader I’ve come to really love and treasure. If it helps anyone, I picture John to look like Steve Rogers circa Winter Soldier. 

Irreverent Series Masterlist

Your mother was being impossible. Julian was escorting Elizabeth Abbott to her cotillion and everyone in the family was going except for you, which was completely unfair! You'd begged and begged the entire month, any chance you had with her, and she had yet to relent. You'd been on your absolute best behavior, you'd maintained your spot at the top of your class, and you'd even landed the lead role in the Nutcracker. Yet, your mother was of the opinion that little girls didn't belong at formal events.

Dom was back for his winter holidays and everyone was under the same roof again after nearly six months. Your Papa had been away on business for the past five weeks and there was a chance he hadn't yet spoken to your mother about the cotillion, so taking a risk, you asked him if you could attend.

He fixed you with his thinking look as you waited nervously, peeking over at your mother who seemed completely irritated with you going over her head.

"Have you kept up with what I taught you last time for your chess game?" he asks finally.

You nod. "Of course Papa.

"Good, then pick one of your brothers to play. If you win, then you may attend."

This was better than you could have hoped for. You quickly exchange a look with Julian who winks at you, bypassing your mother's glare.

"I'll play Julian," you say, standing to set up the board by the fireplace.

Dom, who had till that point been absorbed in his own business, chooses then to tune in to the rest of the family. "Oh come on! Julian's just going to let her win."

"No he's not!" you insisted, looking at your Papa. Dominic was being annoying for no reason and he would try his best to beat you on purpose. Why did he even care if you attended or not?

Your Papa looks between you and Dominic, and it must have been the fact that Julian avoided his eyes altogether that convinced him to listen to Dom.

"It should be a real victory, don't you think?" he asks you, fixing you with his stern face that always made you feel like he knew everything you were trying to hide from him.

"Yes Papa," you responded glumly, as you continued to set up. Dom and his smug face got up to take the seat opposite yours.

However, you needn't have worried. You hadn't lied when you told your father that you'd kept up with the chess lessons. You'd been practicing nearly every day, on your own and with Julian and his friends. Dominic lost far too quickly for being nineteen years old, playing his nine year old baby sister.

He stared at the board after you said checkmate for a few minutes, as if he couldn't believe that had just happened. As though you'd tricked him. Before you could really gloat in your victory, he roared and flipped the board over. You quickly scrambled to get away from him as he came at you with his arm raised.

"Hey, man, she's nine! What the hell!" Julian had ran to get between the two of you and Dominic shoved him, throwing him off balance, before he swung at his face.

You'd run to hide behind your father's chair as Dominic continued on towards you, having punched Julian in the face and knocked him backwards. It took your father standing up and being absolutely furious, for Dom to back off. He threw you a nasty look and strode out of the study, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Julian stood up, and you gasped loudly when you saw his face.

Your mother turns to you, absolutely furious. "You see! Now look what you've done. Your brother is supposed to be an escort - how is he meant to do that with a black eye?"

You turned to look at your father who only shook his head before walking out after Dom, leaving you to deal with your mother's wrath on your own.

How on earth was this your fault?

However, it had all been worth it, because here you sat at your very first ball. You'd had your dress picked out for weeks in the vain hope that you'd be allowed to go and it had paid off. Your legs dangled from the chair as you sat between your parents, your mother constantly fussing with your dress and chastising you to sit up straight. As the music swelled, you watched all of the girls walk down the steps in their white gowns, their fathers handing them off to their dates. Julian met Mr. Abbott at the foot of the steps and accepted Elizabeth from him. Your mother had managed to hide the black eye with some concealer and your father had knocked some sense into Dom, who was sulking at the bar in the back with some of his buddies.

Then there he was. Escorting beautiful Cecelia Rhodes, Johnathan Hawthorne walked past your table with her on his arm and as he caught your eye, he threw you a wink and a grin. You sighed to yourself, smiling wide as you watched him. John Hawthorne with his all-American good looks, amazing hair, and a smile that could warm the coldest of hearts. He was, by every definition of the word, perfect.

John led Cecelia to stand near Julian and Elizabeth - you knew that the two of them had practiced the dance all week with one other. You'd supervised. They better not mess it up and make you look like a bad teacher. However, you needn't have worried. Both Lizzie and Cece should thank you that they had the best dates there. All of the other boys messed up. A lot.

Your mother had given you a ten o'clock curfew and it was already nine thirty by the time the dessert was served, so you really didn't have too much time left before Mrs. Hernandez came to pick you up. Your parents had abandoned you a while back, so you were left to entertain yourself. You looked up and saw Julian talking to some boy from his class. It looked like him and Elizabeth were done dancing for the night, because her and Cece were sitting at a different table with some other girls. The music was still playing and there were a few of the older couples on the dance floor, swaying along to the music.

"Hey Cap."

You turn and see John coming up behind you and dropping into your father's chair. You giggled as you turned to him and said hello. You always loved it when he called you that. It made you feel special. He'd told you that you reminded him of one of the best chess players of all time, Capablanca, because the two of you both finished off your opponents lightning fast. He'd started calling you Cap because of it, insisting that one day you would be better than him. He also made it a point to play you anytime he was over, and while he had yet to win, he kept trying.

"You looked really good out there," you tell him, a slight color flushing your cheeks.

"Well, I had a pretty good teacher," he replies, smiling at you with his radiant smile that never failed to take your breath away.

"That's true."

He laughs, before swiping your dessert plate and finishing off the rest of your cake while you glare at him. But you're not really all that upset. It's John. You couldn't ever be all too mad at him.

"What're you doing here? Besides eating my cake," you ask him, indicating to the rest of his classmates who were scattered between a few tables in their own groups. None of the rest of them were sitting around with the baby.

"Well, I couldn't end the night without dancing with the prettiest girl here, now could I?" He smiles and offers you his hand, which you grab excitedly. No one had asked you to dance yet and it would be a shame to not dance even once at your first ball ever.

John leads you out to the dance floor and offers to let you stand on his feet, but you were determined to do this right. You weren't given the role of Clara for nothing - you earned that! He held both of your hands in his due to the height difference, and the two of you moved along to the music in formation.

"Hey John," you said, looking up at him shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you love Cece?"

He's quiet for a second as he thinks over your question. "Well, she is my girlfriend," he says after a few seconds, "but it's still new and we're figuring things out."

You nod. You'd expected as much - John was good at giving the right answers and he never lied to you if he could help it.

"Do you think you'll marry her one day?"

He laughs a bit at that. "Probably not. She's just a girl I'm dating in high school. Not many people end up with their high school sweetheart."

You smile at that. He's right. Most people grow up, move away, go to college and meet their wives and husbands there. Your parents had met one another in college, after all.

"Good," you tell him, allowing him to spin you around his finger.

He smiles a bit weirdly at that, his eyebrows going up a bit. "Why is that good?" he asks.

You're not sure if you should tell him. It is a little embarrassing. But then, if you didn't tell him, then he might pick some girl - Cece or otherwise - and that would cause other sorts of problems.

"Promise you won't laugh?" you ask him. You have to be sure that he wouldn't make fun of you for this. That would break your heart if he of all people laughed.

"I promise," he says, linking your pinkies with his.

You take a deep breath, before you look right at him. "Because one day, I'm going to marry you. And we'll get married by the lake where Auntie Amelia got married and I'll get to wear the biggest white dress ever. You'll wear a blue suit because blue goes well with your eyes. It'll be perfect."

You expect him to laugh even though he said he wouldn't. But then, John really isn't like that. He kneels down so he can look at you better, not caring that the music is still playing and everyone else is still dancing. He looks you right in the eye, completely seriously, and sticks out his hand for you to shake. "You got yourself a deal, Cap."

*------------*

It's Thanksgiving Break and his parents are on business in Asia so Julian had invited him to spend the holiday with his family. Dominic and his girlfriend would be there, and Julian had told him that you were dreading an entire week of playing nice with Dom so that he can show off the family and charm the pants off of the Huntingtons' daughter. John would be a welcome buffer.

He'd accepted mostly so he could avoid being the only person left on campus, and the alternative was to go home with the new girl he'd started seeing and he worried that meeting the parents so soon would send the wrong message. Caitlyn was nice and all but he didn't see much of a future there. She was bright in the way that girls tend to be when they're told they need to go to college to secure a husband. She could carry on an intellectual conversation for around five minutes, until you dug deeper and realized all she knew was the reader's digest version.

That's how he finds himself in Connecticut, sneaking out with you and Julian to the pool. He'd spent the day hunting with the men, and while your mother had thought you were going out to ride, you'd actually snuck along with them. Your father had merely shook his head before grabbing an extra rifle for you. He knew you didn't really want to hunt, you just wanted to be included. You kept conveniently missing easy shots and he'd gone to the shooting range with you too many times to believe you'd gotten that bad overnight. When he'd quietly called you out on it, you told him you didn't feel comfortable eating Bambi for dinner. He'd had to agree with you, so now your father thought he was a terrible shot as well.

It's been a while since he'd spent so much time with you, as he'd been away at college or doing internships. The last time, you'd been around thirteen and it had been his and Julian's second winter holidays when both of your families had booked a stay in Gstaad. You'd fallen ill and had spent most of the time sniffling and coughing in bed. Him and Julian would hit the slopes in the morning and then spend the rest of the day drinking hot chocolate and watching movies in your room while Julian complained about you getting your germs all over him. You talked to him about all the classes he was taking and the two of you had spent a memorable afternoon debating the merits of the death penalty. He was going to be using all of it for the paper he had due.

It's late at night and the moon is overhead. Julian had excused himself to go raid your father's liquor cabinet and in the distance you two can hear Dom and his girlfriend Katie fighting. Your mother had made some comment about her clothing and it had obviously gotten to her. She'd have to grow a thicker skin if she was going to last.

"Hundred dollars says they break up by Christmas." You look at him, your face betraying your glee at your brother's misfortune.

He laughs. "You're on." He had a feeling Katie was more resilient than most. She hadn't blown up at your mother to her face. She'd waited until it was just Dom and her. He had a feeling Dom would be making it up to her for a while, though, if he wanted it to last.

The two of you are sat at the edge of the pool, your feet dangling in the water. It's a good thing the pool is heated, because swimming in late November in Connecticut and dying as a result of freezing to death really wasn't his life plan. He looks at you, playing with the edge of the sweatshirt you'd borrowed from him when you'd first come over to Julian's room where the two of them had been hanging out. You'd persuaded them to come out with you and had asked to borrow something to throw on top since it was freezing outside. The Columbia law school hoodie enveloped you completely, nearly at your knees.

"What's going on with you lately?" he asks, turning towards the house and seeing the lights go on in your father's study, indicating that Julian had started raiding the alcohol.

"Well, high school sucks like you said it would," you reply with a bitter note to your voice. He knew that you hated going to boarding school and had thrown a fit when your parents had decided to send you. Neither Dom nor Julian had gone to boarding school, and you'd protested against it vehemently. However, your father hadn't wanted to leave you on your own in Connecticut and with him traveling so much and your mother being away as well, they wanted to give you a semblance of structure. He wasn't sure if he agreed with it either - he knew you'd be much happier going to Hopkins like the rest of them had rather than go boarding school hopping to whichever continent your father decided to have business in that year.

"Have you at least made new friends this time?"

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "If by friends, you mean guys named Brad who ask me out and then when I say no, they go and tell the entire school I slept with them, then sure yeah. I've made friends."

He raises his eyebrows at that. There wasn't a chance Julian knew about this, because if he did, Brad would be history.

"What'd you do about that?" he asks, wondering if he needs to go teach this Brad guy a thing or two about how to treat girls right.

"Told anyone who asked, that Brad isn't particularly well-endowed," you tell him, the ghost of a smirk on your lips.

"Good girl."

"I can handle it, it's not that I can't. It's just…I can't wait to be in college and not have to worry about this sort of crap."

He hums in agreement. College really was the great equalizer - or as much as it can be when everyone has the exact same blue blood upbringing as you do. He'd tried to make friends that weren't from his usual circles back when he'd done undergrad at Princeton and had hit it off with a few kids on scholarship. It was difficult however, when they either wanted to pay their own way or wouldn't let him help out. Made things awkward.

"Can I tell you something?" you ask. He notices that your fingers fidget with the ends of his sweatshirt - he's always found that little tell of yours endearing.

"Of course."

"I'm the last girl in my year to not have kissed anyone. Even Siena Robertson made out with Jacob Pemberley on the soccer field right before the break, so now I'm the last one left."

You look miserable admitting that and he feels for you - being a teenager and feeling like you're behind on stuff like that is its own brand of misery.

"It'll happen when the time is right," he says, hoping that's of some relief. However, even he knows how hollow his words sound. They're likely of little solace when you're a fifteen year old girl stuck feeling like there's something wrong with you for not having achieved these milestones.

He looks over at you and you had an odd look on your face, as though you're conflicted with something and struggling to really put your thoughts into words. He nudges you with his shoulder, moving his head up as if to ask, What else is going on in that head of  yours?

"I don't want my first kiss to be some guy named Brad," you admit, not looking at him, instead staring resolutely into the pool. The chilly air outside blows your hair ever so slightly, and he watches it move rather than look at you.

"Who do you want it to be?" he asks quietly.

You turn to him, your doe eyes wide with the hint of tears, biting your lip, and looking at him like you're not sure why he even bothered asking. As if he didn't know.

He feels his heart clench but he forces himself to look away from you, shaking his head as he does. "You're a kid," he says, the hair at the nape of his neck standing straight up as another chilly wind rushes over the both of you, blowing more leaves to the ground in a swirl.

He'd hoped that would be it. That you'd realize the absurdity of what you're saying.

"Please John." You plead, your hand reaching for his, sending a shiver down his spine. Your fingers are like icicles and he can't help himself from wrapping your hand in his, if only to warm it up.

"Julian would kill me," he tells you, wondering why that was the only thing he could think of to say to you. There's other reasons of course - it's wrong, so very wrong. He's a grown man and you're a kid. You deserve to have your first kiss be someone who you love - at least puppy love. Not like this.

"Julian doesn't have to know."

His jaw clenches as he looks down at you, your eyes fixed at where his hand is holding yours.

"Please," you try again, squeezing his hand to force him to meet your eyes. "Please don't let my first kiss be some guy named Brad."

He knows what you're saying. Don't let your first kiss mean nothing. Don't let it be meaningless and awful and only because you don't want to feel behind the rest of your classmates. Because he knows, that if this is how you feel already, you won't waste any time to make sure you're up to the mark, the second you get back to school. It would be rushed and sloppy and some kid named Brad would go around the school telling everyone he'd managed to snag you, and this time he wouldn't be lying.

He didn't want that for you. You deserved better.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he turns to look back at the study - the lights are still on, meaning Julian still hasn't left. The next second he's moved his hand out of your grasp, only to wrap it around your waist, pulling you flush against him, his head bent down to capture your lips with his, swallowing your surprised noise. Soft, plush, pliant, perfect. It's a quick press of lips on lips. Chaste, almost, if it weren't for the fact that he'd practically grabbed you like a rag doll, nearly to his lap. He won't take it further, though. He shouldn't. He moves away on a sigh. Your eyes are closed, your long lashes kissing your cheeks, your face illuminated by the moonlight.

"Thank you," you breathe out, your eyes still closed.

He knows he'll remember this moment forever.

There's the sound of the back door opening, and the two of you quickly move away from one another. Your eyes meet his and you smile just barely at him and he has a hard time not smiling back.

Julian returns, bottle of scotch in one hand and a bottle of Moët in the other. You refuse to drink scotch still, insisting it burns too much, so the champagne is always for you.

*------------*

It’s over a year later when he finds himself in Connecticut once again. His mother had asked him why he’d come just for cotillion season, and he tells her he'd missed her and his father and wanted to see them before buckling down for finals. He can't tell them the truth. That you'd called and asked him to.

"You know, it is quite unfair for you to have gotten to dance with me at your cotillion, but for me to be denied the same pleasure at mine," you'd said when you'd called him.

His face had split into a grin as he stood up to take your call, leaving his date sitting by herself. His mother had set him up with Arthur Cafferty's daughter who was studying fashion at NYU. Needless to say, the two of them had nothing in common and after three dates with the girl, he had really only asked her out this final time to break it off nicely.

"When is it?" he'd asked, taking his planner out of his bookbag. He hadn't even bothered to go home and change for this date. One would think the girl would take a hint and realize he wasn't interested.

You told him the date and he said he'd make it work. Your resulting squeal was so high pitched, he had to move the phone away from his ear.

"You're sure it's not too much trouble?" you ask, once your initial excitement wears off.

"Anything for my future wife," he jokes. "I am nothing if not a loving and doting husband."

Your twinkling laugh carried him through the misery of breaking up with the Cafferty girl.

He'd pushed off a couple of study groups, spoken to his Tort Law professor about making up the in-class debate he would miss, and caught the train up from the city. Julian had flown back from Europe, and the two of them had tagged along with you and your mother to your final dress fitting so that they could get their tux fittings done at the same time. The seamstress had you try on your dress and you looked like a ball of cotton, the swathes of tulle falling around you. You'd patiently stood while the lady made some last minute adjustments, both him and Julian poking fun at you while she did.

Once your mother left to go deal with the payment, you quickly moved to get out of the dress, grabbing another with you on the way into the fitting room. The seamstress dragged him and Julian up onto the fitting platforms next, tutting about them both having grown far too much since the last time. He detects movement in the mirror he's standing in, and you've emerged wearing another dress. He turns towards you, taking it in.

This dress flows down to your feet, draping against you as if it was made for you. As you take a step forward, his eye is caught by the deep slit to the side which exposes your leg with your movement. You know he's watching, so you turn for his benefit, revealing that there's no back to this dress. There's just the smooth skin of your back, fully exposed - his eyes wander down, catching the visible dimples at your lower back. He has to take a second and remind himself that Julian is there too, but you'd seen his reaction - he's sure of it. You'd taken his breath away.

"Mother will obliterate you if she sees you wearing that," Julian warns, moving towards you to help you spin around in it.

As if summoned, your mother reappears, seemingly aghast at your dress, and quickly ushers you away from view. Neither him nor Julian can make out what the two of you are saying, but its obviously an argument. When you emerge, you look entirely put out and he catches your eye, rolling his eyes in sympathy and drawing a small smile from you.

The next night, Julian and him drive you to the venue, dropping you off, before going to meet up with some old friends in the area. You were head debutante and had to coordinate everyone else along with the cotillion Chair, and thus were arriving nearly six hours prior to the event.

It's dark by the time everyone has arrived at your ball. It's decidedly your ball, that much is obvious. You'd had the venue changed from the usual ballroom at the country club to the old Haverford Mansion with its vaulted ceilings and grand staircase. He briefly wonders how you'd managed to swing that - the Chairs are usually older women who rule these events like their life depends on it. Then again, you could charm anyone if you really wanted to.

Julian and him find themselves at a table with both of your families. Dom had brought Katie, who had stuck around despite your mother. You'd handed over the cash to him from that bet happily enough. Katie was great. You didn't think Dom deserved her and you were quite vocal about your opinion.

"Julian, my boy!" John's father exclaims, sitting down across from the two of them, "When's your next show coming?"

"Oh I've only just started on the new collection, Mr. Hawthorne, so not for a while. But I'll be sure to give you first peek when it's ready" Julian tells his father. The Hawthornes made it a point to always grab a piece from any collection Julian painted, his mother fancying herself a patron of the arts.

His mother briefly asks him and Julian why neither of them could ever manage to bring dates to such events and all of their classmates are getting married around them. John of course knew the reason why Julian never brought dates - his dates tend to wear suits instead of ballgowns and it wasn't the kind of attention he wanted brought to his life. Why he never seemed to have a date, however, was a very good question. One that could be answered if anyone were to remember the time he had brought a real date. Lindsey Carlyle had left last Thanksgiving when everyone had congregated at his family's brownstone, in a huff, claiming he wanted to spend more time with a sixteen year old girl rather than her.

"Remind me to tell my sister she owes me for making me sit through another one of these functions around all these people," Julian mutters to him, tugging at his collar.

John stifles a laugh. He was sure Julian would think of some manner of having you make it up to him - likely by simply having you spend the summer with him gallivanting around Europe. Julian didn't have it in him to truly be upset with you.

"I don't know how she talked you into coming, but she's had you whipped forever, so I guess I'm just glad I'm not here alone."

He rolls his eyes, elbowing Julian. It's no secret that he lets you boss him around - always has, ever since you were little.

Everyone quiets down as the music begins and the Chair comes to announce each girl. He knew you'd be last, being the head. To the side, all of the dates are standing, awaiting the arrival of the girls. Your father is upstairs, with the other fathers to the right of the staircase. One by one the girls are called, the Chair talks about each of their accomplishments as she announces them and their fathers walk them down the steps, to be handed off to the teenage boys in tuxes.

The music changes as it's your turn prompting him and Julian to exchange a look.

"Does the head deb usually get different music?" he leans over to ask Julian.

Julian shakes his head, his lips pressed tightly together in a way that John can tell he's trying hard not to smile and incur his mother's wrath.

The Chair begins to list your litany of accomplishments as your father walks out from the right and awaits you. He sees you emerge, and a collective hush falls over the crowd. You aren't wearing one of the regulation cotillion dresses like every girl before you. You're wearing the dress that had taken his breath away yesterday. There's a smirk planted quite firmly on your face as your father takes your hand and helps you float down the stairs.

John is positive your father's grip on you had been iron tight in reaction to your dress. Your date - a boy named William who John knew only vaguely - looks elated however. He helps you onto the dance floor and the music changes once again, with all of the couples dancing. John sees Julian's fists tighten as William's hands sit a little lower on your back than they should, and your father doesn't bother coming to the table, instead making a beeline to the bar.

"She's insane," Julian whispers out of the corner of his mouth, the both of them watching you with some amount of awe. No one did this at a cotillion. No one.

"I'll buy you that brush set you've been eyeing if your mother manages to drink less than five vodka sodas tonight," he tells Julian, the two of them grinning at one another.

Your mother throws a glare at the both of them as she knocks back her drink.

"No deal," Julian whispers back. "I'm going to lose that in the next ten minutes."

Turning their attention back towards you, they both watch as you twirl around in William's arms. The first dance is endless and at some point your father made it back to the table, carrying a drink in each hand. Your mother gets up when your father returns, the two of them having a quick, quiet exchange, at which Julian rolls his eyes.

However, as the second song draws to a close, John finds himself standing and making his way towards you. It really should be your father or one of your brothers cutting in for the first time, but he figures he should spare you their reactions as long as possible. He reaches you and William, towering over the boy as he approaches, and taps him on the shoulder to cut in. William appears a little annoyed but still hands you over, turning to walk to the sidelines.

He turns to look at you - you're sporting a smirk a mile wide, your eyes twinkling. You're pleased he was the one who cut in first.

"What a surprise seeing you here, Mr. Hawthorne," you drawl, humor coloring your voice.

"Well, I had to make sure I danced with the prettiest girl at the ball, now didn't I?" he replies, reaching for your hand and placing his other to your waist. You jump ever so slightly at the touch of his warm fingers against your skin and he has to disguise his laugh as a slight cough. When you place your other hand to his shoulder, it was as though an electric current ran through him.

The music transitions seamlessly and he draws you close into a waltz. He's highly aware that the two of you have nearly a hundred eyes on you and he can tell you're loving it.

"Are all the biddies clutching their pearls in horror?" you ask him.

"Why'd you pick this dress?" he asks, instead of answering your question. You already knew the answer.

"You liked it, didn't you?"

He nods. He had liked it. However, that didn't answer his question, so he looks at you, eyebrow quirked, imploring you to explain further.

With a slight roll of your eyes, you huff delicately. "I'm tired of being the good girl, the perfect girl. I wanted to turn some heads. I think we can both agree that I have."

"Your mother is going to kill you," he murmurs next to your ear, a smirk matching yours on his face. You had indeed turned heads. Some more than others.

"Oh please. Did you know, yesterday, she told me that I was far too chubby to wear a dress like this."

He starts to disagree with that assessment - you were anything but and the dress fit you like a glove as though it were commissioned for you.

"It's okay," you reassure him. "She's just upset she can no longer pull off something like this."

He laughs at that.

He twirls and spins you out, before catching you in his arms again.

"You look beautiful," he tells you looking right into your eyes, as though compelled to.

The faintest of colors graces your cheeks and you look bashfully (for the first time that night) away from him, smiling.

"Thank you."

The music changes again and he's almost worried that someone is going to steal you away from him, yet no one does. He meets Julian's eye above your head, and his friend looks to be talking his parents down from making a scene. Julian gives him an exasperated look as though to say, You see what I put up with because of her.

He looks back at you, shaking his head. "You're trouble, you know that?"

"You love trouble," you tell him, your eyes shining, smirking up at him.

He can't help himself from smirking right back. "You're a tease," he whispers back his fingers caressing your back, before he can catch himself. You're too young, even though you may not look it anymore.

As though sensing his change in mood, you lean up to him, reaching his ear. "Don't worry. I know that we can't. That you can't."

He looks down at you, meeting your gaze, reassured that you understand. He nods, smiling his gratitude that you understand. He can't have this seem in any way improper. He's set to take the bar. He's set to clerk for McGuire. However your quiet words have their desired effect, and he can feel himself relaxing, comfortably dancing with you in his arms.

As he continues to lead you around the dance floor, he's becoming convinced of one thing - if tonight is anything to go on, he's going to want to fulfill his end of the deal.

*------------*

After your cotillion, he'd gone back and started studying for the bar - head down night after night. He couldn't afford distractions.

He got a call the day you got your Harvard acceptance letter. You received a bouquet of dahlias and a shipment from Laduree the following day, much to the collective jealousy of every one of your dormmates.

The day he passed the New York state bar, you were his first phone call.

You were graduating. You were graduating and you would be an adult in the eyes of your families and the law. The two of you had already planned an entire summer country hopping across Southeast Asia with Julian in tow. John would be lying if he said he was anything less than ecstatic.

Julian had uncharacteristically offered to pick him up from Heathrow instead of simply sending a car. Assuming he wanted to talk through the details of the trip the three of you were headed out to the following week, John threw his bag into the back cheerfully and got into the passenger seat. Europe was the only place he trusted Julian to drive. Getting in the passenger seat with Julian at the wheel in the states was the equivalent of signing a death wish.

"How was the flight?" Julian asks, merging across the lanes and pissing off some cabbies on the way.

"Fine," John replies, taking stock of his friend. He hadn't seen Julian since the cotillion early in the year and he couldn't help but notice that Jules looked thinner. His already lanky frame was positively beanstalk-like. "What's been up with you?"

Julian glances at him quickly, before turning his attention back to the front. "Anthony and I broke up," he says quickly, as if simply trying to get it out of the way.

Well, that explained the weightloss. Julian was a true artist at his core. He insisted that pain was meant to be felt. "I'm sorry man. What happened?"

"He took me to meet the parents. Then he wanted to meet mine. We fought. He issued an ultimatum. Here we are."

John nods sympathetically. Telling the parents was out of the question. Neither of your families were the kind who would be supportive and understanding. Julian stood to lose quite a bit if he chose to be honest.

"Y/N noticed too," he says, referring to his own frame.

"You should tell her at least." This was an old discussion for them. John insisted that you should know. That you wouldn't care nor tell anyone. However, Julian's fear - fear of losing you and fear of being ousted - overpowered any rationale he was able to provide.

Julian shakes his head. "Pretty sure my father has got his claws deep in there by now. I just told her I was doing an experiment on the body's reaction to starvation in order to channel it into my new piece."

John breathes out a laugh at that. "She buy it?"

"No, but our family's good at the whole Don't Ask Don't Tell thing. Pretty sure she's got secrets of her own she doesn't want anyone to know."

He nods, feeling the guilty coil of lying to Julian rouse itself once again. He'd beat himself up about it quite a bit after he'd kissed you by the pool, knowing Julian would kick the absolute shit out of him if he knew. He might not be able to take John on physically, but it wasn't as though John would be fighting back exactly.

"Speaking of," Julian begins, his voice low and quiet, yet assertive in a manner that reminds John of your father and his, "we need to talk about her."

John crosses his eyes over to look at his friend, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He couldn't possibly know anything. "What about her?" he asks, doing his best to sound nonchalant.

"Don't do that with me man. You might think you're fooling the rest of the world, but you're talking to someone whose entire life is a lie. You think I don't know pining when I see it?" Julian sounds less angry than he should, John thinks. If anything he sounds resigned. Reluctant to be having this conversation at all.

"I'm sor -"

"It doesn't matter." Julian cuts him off. "I don't care if something happened. What I need you to do is promise me that nothing ever will."

"I don't - "

"Let me make it as plain as possible," Julian says, his mouth a straight line, hands gripped tight around the steering wheel. "It's me or her. You choose to pursue this thing, take it any further, then that's it. You'll have made your choice."

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Never - not when he'd first kissed you, not when he'd danced with you, not when he'd dreamed of… - had he thought that there would be a chance of him being at this point. This awful point where he's forced to choose between you and Julian. How was he supposed to choose between his best friend and you - how could he possibly be expected to make that decision. He never thought Julian of all people would ask this of him. He expected a beating, a cold shoulder for a couple of days - but at the end he expected it to work out. How could it not?

"So you're issuing an ultimatum?" he asks, swallowing the anger he can feel bubbling underneath.

Julian doesn't even turn to look at him. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"Just because you're miserable, you're setting out to make everyone else around you feel the same way?" he asks, ugly malice coloring his voice as he turns to look away from Julian. He couldn't stand to look at him at this moment.

"Don't make this about something it isn't. I'm looking out for my baby sister. She deserves to have a college experience that isn't tied to some older guy that's only going to make her feel guilty about experiencing the same stuff he did, but tenfold."

"I wouldn't do that to her," John says quietly. He can't believe Julian would even think that about him. That he would in some way hold you back from having anything you wanted.

"You might not, but she'd do it to herself for you," he says quietly. John can see his hands tremble ever so slightly at the wheel.

"So that’s it?"

"Yeah." Julian breathes out a sigh and turns down the street towards your school. "That's it."

The rest of the car ride passes in tense silence.

You were valedictorian, the cord hanging down your neck signifying you as such. When you'd told him that, he'd asked if you were giving a speech but you'd told him you could care less about standing up in front of people you're unlikely to see again and talking about the wonderful experiences and memories - it rang of fakery and you hadn't wanted to end on such a false note. You'd excused yourself from consideration, so the class president gave the speech instead.

John sat with your family. Julian's words still rang in his head and he was finding it difficult to focus on much of anything. He followed everyone else's lead, clapping when appropriate, while his mind was miles away.

Once the ceremony was over, he sees you making your way through the crowd towards everyone - eyes shining, hat askew, hair flowing behind you, the largest smile he's ever seen firmly in place. You hug your parents first, then Julian.

"John!"

You approach him for a hug and he finds himself turning just barely to meet Julian's eyes. He hugs you from the side, arm loosely around your shoulders, eyes barely meeting yours - over before he knows it. Completely unlike any other hug the two of you have shared.

You let go slowly, the confusion clearly painted on your face as you look up at his face to figure out what was wrong. He sees you look from him, follow his gaze to Julian, and then back to him.

You know.

He's not sure how he gets through the celebration dinner afterwards. Words sit oddly in his mouth and he is mostly silent throughout. He can't keep himself from watching you. You're pretending everything is fine. It's your graduation and this should've been a good day. A happy day. And somehow he's pushed you into pretending.

It's late that night when there's a quiet knock at his door and the knob turns before he can say anything. He knows it’s you.

"Hey," you say, closing the door behind you. You're dressed in a little pajama set - navy blue with polka dots, the shorts covering you decently. It's cute, he finds himself thinking.

He gets up to sit at the edge of the bed, not trusting himself to say anything. He only watches as you walk and sit on the chair in the corner, instead of on the bed next to him, eyes trained on him.

"Julian said no, didn't he?" you ask, your voice smaller than he's used to.

He nods.

You're sitting so far away. He sees you swallow and look away from him.  It's quiet for a couple of minutes as you look out the window, processing what he's told you.

"Maybe it's for the best," you whisper, turning back to look at him.

How could the best be anything but you?

But it's his job to be the adult - to be the reasonable one. He can't deny that there's some merit to what Julian said even if he did do it as an ultimatum.

"You'll get to enjoy college. Live it up. Go to frat parties and get drunk and not worry about some older boyfriend waiting on you or judging you."

You laugh softly at that, rolling your eyes delicately. "Please. You and I both know that you'd just tag along."

He smiles. He would.

"You should date other people. You should experience love and heartbreak and all the stuff in between with someone who hasn't known you forever. It'll be new and exciting - you deserve to have a full college experience."

You agree. It makes sense. Especially given the completely different stages of life the two of you were about to embark on.

"Papa asked me to tag along with him this summer - he has some business in Europe and Latin America. I think I'm going to say yes. You and Julian go on the trip. It'll be good for you."

"It's your graduation trip," he protests.

You shrug. "There will be other trips. I think Julian needs you right now more than I do."

"What makes you say that?" he asks, eyebrow quirked in confusion. As far as he knew, Julian hadn't come clean to you yet.

"He said he broke up with some girl - Antoinette, I guess. He's seemed miserable lately and I think he's probably just heartbroken and miserable - he could use his best friend. His best friend who is there just for him."

He finds himself smiling in spite of himself. He's not sure he could've been this unselfish in your shoes. "Anyone ever tell you you're too mature for your age?"

You let out a soft breath of a laugh at that. "Have you met my family? Someone has to be."

He stands finally, walking to meet you at the chair. You look so incredibly small sitting there, that he finds himself kneeling down in front of you. You don't wait, simply launching yourself onto him - making up for the mediocre hug from earlier. You slip off of the chair, legs bent and splayed across his thighs as he catches you. It's all he can do to hold you tight against him, head buried in your hair, breathing you in.

You can feel his heart beating underneath as he holds you close to him. This wasn't how today was supposed to go. It should've been wonderful - the two of you, finally together after months of talking, teasing, overthinking - it should've been easy. He should've grabbed you in his arms in front of everyone and kissed you right then and there - it's how you'd imagined it would go all those nights laying in bed, listening to the sound of your dormmates snoring. That first kiss - that had been everything you'd needed then, the memory of it carrying you through the rest of the school year as you turned away boy after boy, content to live with the mere echo of that kiss reverberating through you.

High school was just something to get through. College was meant to be perfect, freedom, and John. John, who made everything else perfect by simply being there with you. John, who had been the reason you'd kept your head down and done everything asked of you - so that no one could hold anything against you when the inevitability of you and John materialized. The two of you had done everything right. You'd waited. You'd waited and waited until it could be proper, until it would be accepted. It had been torture and the only thing that had carried you through it had been the knowledge that one day very soon, you'd have him.

You can feel your eyes welling up as it really starts to sink in - this wasn't going to happen. You and John were not going to happen.

You shift slightly, moving back from where your head has been tucked into the crook of his neck while you straddle him on the floor. He looks at you, with his deep blue eyes threaded with strands of caramel, that never fail to imbue you with warmth. You reach up to touch his cheek, thumb grazing his cheekbone, feeling the little stubble that's started to appear. Your eyes leave his and roam to the pink of his lips and before you know it, you've leaned up, capturing them with yours. There is the barest of pauses, before his hold on you tightens exquisitely, pushing you up, closer to him, the barest of growls from the back of his throat as he deepens the kiss. This was entirely unlike your first kiss. John claimed your lips as though he couldn't bear to be apart from them for even a moment, his hands leaving tingles of sensation everywhere they went. You let go with a sharp gasp, and a soft moan escapes him that you can't help but want to taste, as you meet his mouth again, again, and again until you forget if the air you're breathing is even your own.

When you finally leave, it's with a quick goodbye, lips just barely pressed to his cheek. He finds himself reaching up to touch the spot on his face that you'd grazed, hoping to keep it there forever.

*------------*

Dominic had kept all the guys out late the previous night, fully invested in making the most of his final day as a bachelor. John had made it back in one piece, thankfully, but had awoken to a migraine. The water and painkillers left for him on the nightstand serving as his only solace.

He'd had the immense pleasure of meeting Matthew for the first time. He'd heard through the grapevine that you were dating some guy, but Matthew had not been what he expected at all. He was cocky, a showboat, and had an ego the size of Texas. If anything, Matthew was the exact opposite of the kind of guy he'd thought you'd ever date.

You'd come back from college for the weekend wedding, Matthew in tow. The rest of your family was busy with last minute wedding stuff, so John had been tasked with greeting everyone. The Costello family had sent Frank Costello's son to represent the family, and as he happened to go to school with you, he'd also tagged along. You'd walked in, your face scrunched up in exasperation, the two boys trailing behind with the luggage. You'd hugged him quickly before introducing both of the boys, and John had had to control the flash of anger he felt when Matthew wrapped a meaty arm around your waist, squeezing it tight, and hinted at the two of you going to take a nap. You'd seemed a little embarrassed, and tried to laugh it off, but John could tell that had made you uncomfortable.

As you all start to walk down the hallway towards the rooms he's pointed everyone to, Ricky lingers, meeting his eye briefly. "If you're wondering what she sees in him, you're not alone," he says under his breath so only John can hear.

He had a feeling him and Ricky would get along just fine.

His initial impression of Matthew was only confirmed later during the bachelor party that had gone on far too late. He'd told Dominic and Julian that he'd stay more or less sober to make sure there weren't any issues, and had found himself nursing a drink off to the side with Julian and Ricky, watching the women dancing up on the stage. Him and Julian had tried to push for a poker and steak bachelor party, but Dom had gone and rented out an entire burlesque club. The night had simply gone downhill from there, and John was convinced that if any of the wives or girlfriends knew what took place there, there would be more than a couple of broken relationships.

Julian excuses himself after a while, stating the need to grab a smoke, so John is left with Ricky who had turned out to be a good egg. Why couldn't you have dated him? That he could've understood.

Both him and Ricky had looked up as Matthew walks past them, led by some girl. Matthew sees the two of them staring at him. "You'd do it too if your girlfriend didn't put out either," he'd slurred, half drunk as the girl continued to lead him towards the private rooms in the back.

John shares a look of with Ricky. "Good for her," Ricky mutters, his jaw tight, indicating at the bartender for another drink.

Nodding to where they'd seen Matthew disappear, Johns asks, "Is that normal?"

"Couldn't tell you," Ricky replies, "We aren't exactly close. I hear things, but don't really know what to believe."

John forces himself to take a deep breath and remember that it wasn't any of his business to interfere with your relationship. You were an adult and could handle it. If this is how Matthew is, then he doubted you were entirely unaware. He really hoped you weren't. However, that begged the question - why on earth were you with this guy?

He'd gotten dressed in the grey suit that the groomsmen were wearing and gone downstairs to grab breakfast. The ceremony would be taking place in the afternoon, and the entire place was a flurry of activity. He caught a glimpse of you racing down the hallway in a robe, calling out to him to make sure that Dom and Julian were up and ready.

After he'd gone through each guy's room and made sure the entire bridal party was accounted for, he'd ended up doing a couple more last minute things that Katie's mother asked of him. With only an hour before the ceremony, John made his escape, leaving Julian in charge of Dom. He needs a breather.

He finds himself on the upstairs balcony, overlooking the large grass lawn where the chairs are assembled and guests would be arriving soon. Taking out a cigarette, he lights it and takes a drag, feeling his shoulders untense for the first time since he's woken up.

"Are you hiding?"

He turns at the sound of your voice. You're dressed in a blush pink gown that flows to the ground, hair done up - a couple of strands framing your face. You're smiling, the soft smile that graces your face and the sparkle that enters your eyes - the smile he knows that you save for him.

"Hey Cap. What're you doing here?" he asks, smiling softly at you, as you walk towards him.

"Needed a break," you admit. "Katie's great, but her sorority sisters are a bit too much energy for me right now."

He lets out a chuckle at that.

You reach him, grabbing the cigarette easily out of his hand, and bring it to your own lips as you lean against the pillar in front of him with an air of ease.

"How was last night?" you ask him, letting out a puff of smoke, before passing it back to him.

He thinks about your question. Should he warn you about Matthew? Was it his place to do that? He should, he thinks - he'd want to know if he was in your shoes. You deserved to have someone better.

He feels you nudge him, as you shift to lean over the balcony by his side. You're looking at him in question as he's been silent since you asked.

"If I say something, promise not to take it the wrong way?" he asks, hesitation layered in his voice.

Your brow furrows slightly, but you nod, prompting him to go on.

"Matthew - do you like him?"

"Why're you asking me that?"

John swallows as he looks down at you next to him with your eyes narrowed slightly. "He's not as…discreet as he should be," he manages out, doing his best to convey his concern but still keep it polite.

You barely react at that. You either know or don't care and he's willing to bet it’s the former - you would definitely care to have a partner that was considerate and tactful rather than one whose words and actions were circumspect in the public eye.

"Did he say something specific that has you concerned?" You don't meet his eyes, turning to look out at the lawn, where ushers are starting to seat some early guests.

John shifts a bit on his feet, unsure of how to phrase it. "He - um - he said something about you not putting out," he blurts out, stuttering through it like some prepubescent boy. He really shouldn't be feeling quite so awkward about this, and yet he does.

He hears you sigh - then feels you slump slightly and he turns and looks at you, relieved you aren't upset with him and worried all over again because you just look sad.

"I'm just not ready," you confess, looking up at him.

He shakes his head. "You don't owe me an explanation. I just thought you'd want to know, that's all."

You nod, eyes shifting from his, down to the ground.

It's quiet for a bit as the two of you pass the cigarette back and forth, watching more guests arrive and take their seats.

"Do you even like this guy?" he asks, unable to help himself from repeating his initial question. You hadn't answered it really.

You let out the barest of laughs, a sad smile settling on your face as you turn your head to look at him. "He's not you."

John feels his heart clench. The two of you didn't talk about it anymore, having swept it under the rug for Julian's sake and to maintain a semblance of normalcy for everyone else.

"We should go," you say before he has a chance to speak. "Katie will want us both there for pictures soon." You shake your head slightly as if to clear it, and he sees you force a larger smile to your face before you reach for his hand, leading him back inside.

Your hand feels incredibly small in his and he allows himself to be led by you.

The two of you walked down the aisle together, your hand tucked into his elbow, a bouquet held in the other.

He watched you dance late into the night. You danced with everyone - Julian, Ricky, and him, both Dom and Katie, your father and his.

He knocks back his drink as the musicians call for the final song of the night. You and Matthew sway together, your hair still perfectly in place, head rested on Matthew's shoulder, heels long ago shed off and forgotten under some table.

The music swells around him as he drinks slowly. He missed you. He didn't just miss you when he was alone. He missed you when he was surrounded by people. He missed your laugh through the din of laughter. He missed your smile amongst the sea of smiling faces. He missed the little jokes you'd make that were meant just for him. He missed the way your hand would squeeze his out of the blue, reminding him that it was your hand held tightly in his. He missed your very essence that used to bathe him in the feeling of light and air and you. Overwhelmingly you. Extensively you. You had saturated his very being with your presence.

Now, he simply felt bereft.

*------------*

Everyone had just sat down to Thanksgiving dinner at the van Dorens' place - John's parents had been invited to his mother's side of the family and John had begged off spending another holiday with the grandparents he couldn't stand. Say what you would about your families, at least they could have fun and relax when the occasion called for it. He'd instead coordinated his vacation with Julian's return and found himself tagging along to dinner at your boyfriend's parents' home.

That had not been the original plan. Him and Julian had gotten in the day before, however you'd been delayed on campus and hadn't made it back until Thanksgiving morning. You'd walked in, your skirt breezing around your legs, looking every bit as beautiful as ever. You'd greeted everyone and when you'd hugged him hello, you'd held it for a second longer than expected. "Can we talk tonight, after dinner?" you had asked, your voice low so that no one else could've heard. He'd nodded subtly, covering it up with a smile, as everyone sat down to breakfast. That was when your mother had announced that you'd all be going to the van Doren house for Thanksgiving dinner. That was news to everyone - even you, it would appear. You clearly hadn't known that dinner would be hosted at Matthew's home. You'd asked your mother when that had happened, however she'd insisted that that had always been the plan and that you and Julian must've forgotten. That was how he'd found himself seated next to Julian and across from you at the van Doren home. Had he known this would be where he'd end up tonight, he would've suffered through another retelling of his grandfather's World War II recollections about taking down the "Japs". It didn't matter how often John said you couldn't talk like that anymore - his political correctness fell on deaf ears.

The van Dorens had now been present for a few events over the past two years since Dominic and Katie's wedding, yet John hadn't warmed up to Matthew at all in that time. He would've thought he was being biased about it, but Julian didn't like him either and made no effort to be discreet with his distaste of the boy. He wasn't even a boy really. He'd swooped in on an eighteen year old while being a fifth year senior. The guy was barely a couple of years younger than him. John and Julian had both took the mickey out of you when he hadn't managed to get into any decent law school and had to bribe his way into Boston's program because he'd wanted to stay nearby. John was of the opinion that Matthew knew very well that he wouldn't last through anything long distance with you - there'd be far too many options available at your fingertips without his meatball self standing in the way.

A pregnant Katie - who was absolutely glowing - was seated next to you, the two of you chatting about her upcoming baby shower. He'd watched earlier over cocktails, as you touched Katie's stomach gingerly - as though worried you'd hurt her - with the softest of smiles and your eyes widened in awe. It appeared you and Dominic were finally getting along with one another, as you were planning on spending part of your winter holidays with him and Katie out in California.

"John, I heard from Agnes Mayweather that you and Cecelia have been seeing one another again. How is that going?"

John looks up at your mother's question and notes your look of slight surprise. He hadn't yet told you that he had started seeing Cece again - it hadn't been that long and it simply hadn't come up organically in conversation yet. Since his move from DC to New York, he'd been looking for old friends to hang out with, and him and Cece had simply fallen together again easily.

"It's good," he responds with a smile. "Her family does Thanksgiving in Europe every year, so that's where she is right now."

"Who's Cece?" Katie asks, a smile on her face, eyes curious. In her entire time with Dom, she had never seen John mention a girl with any semblance of seriousness.

"His date for cotillion," you supply, a bemused expression on your face. John's not sure what to make of it exactly - were you upset he hadn't told you he was dating someone? Or dating Cece? As far as he knew, you and Cece got along just fine, in the limited interactions you'd had together.

"You must've been like - what - eight or nine then?" Matthew asks from your other side, putting his arm around the back of your chair.

"She was nine, yeah. Only person under the age of sixteen who was even allowed to attend," John says, a small smile on his face as he remembers the sight of your nine year old self, sitting at a table all alone, eating cake and watching everyone else dance.

"You always have liked doing all the grown up things, haven't you?" Matthew comments with a short laugh as you roll your eyes, yet allow him to grab your hand that's been resting on the table.

One day, John hopes that seeing someone else have and hold you won't cause that sharp stabbing feeling in his chest. One day could not come fast enough.

The dinner continues and the drinks flow, the food transitioning from turkey and mashed potatoes, to pies and pastries. He sees the large tray of tiramisu you'd brought with you, and grabs a large square for himself. To say he was addicted would be selling it short. You and Matthew both had a slice of his mother's pumpkin pie in front of you. Funny - he thought you hated pumpkin pie.

The sudden clinking of silverware against glass catches everyone's attention, and John turns to look at Matthew, who is standing, wine glass raised as though to make a toast. Every single person turns to him as well, and John can't help but notice your slightly furrowed brow as you look up at him.

"Thank you all, for being here today," Matthew begins in a booming voice that carries across the long table. "I want to take the chance today and appreciate the woman who has been by my side these past few years, the most beautiful woman I've ever known." All eyes turn to you, and your face has colored under the attention, as Matthew continues. "The day I run for Congress, I want you to be the woman standing behind me, supporting me. Y/N, darling, will you make me the happiest man in the world, by saying yes to being my bride?" he asks, a ring in hand as he looks down at you expectantly.

A tense buzz of silence has fallen across the table at the conclusion of Matthew's speech. You appear to be in shock and he can't tell if it's a good surprise or bad. Julian won't meet his eyes, looking only down at his lap instead of across at you. And, if John isn't mistaken, he sees your father nod imperceptibly so, out of the corner of his eye.

You nod shakily, before a large smile breaks out on your face. "Yes, of course." John watches as Matthew pulls you up out of the chair, pushing the ring onto your finger, and presses a kiss to your lips in front of everyone, as the rest of the table breaks out into excited cheers or claps. John can't believe what just happened. You were only twenty one years old! He couldn't believe you'd agreed to marry Matthew of all people - the guy who had proposed by asking you to stand behind him while he ran for Congress. What the hell was wrong with you?

He turns to look at Julian while the rest of the party offers both you and Matthew their congratulations, Katie examines the giant gaudy ring on your finger, and your mother cries, patting her tears away with a handkerchief. Julian, however, has disappeared in the commotion, and John is left to sit there and take in the new state of the world before him.

It is late that night by the time everyone returns to your family home. There had been a lot of people gushing at you and Matthew, a lot of photographs, however at the end of the day you'd chosen to come home with the rest of them. Your parents weren't particularly keen on you spending the night at your fiancé's home due to the optics, even though everyone of course turned the other way and didn't ask any questions when the two of you traveled together.

Your parents had retired to bed nearly immediately, both of them hugging you and telling you how very proud and happy they were due to your engagement. The rest of you had ended up in the study, where Dom and Katie talked to you about potential wedding venues in the Napa Valley. John listened along and added in comments passively, trying to cover for how completely disengaged Julian was from the conversation. Eventually, the two of them left to go to bed as well, Dom helping his wife up and out of the study, shutting the door behind, leaving just you, John, and Julian in the room.

It's quiet for a while as you get up to fix yourself another drink, eyebrow raised in question at the both of them. John shook his head. He wanted to stick to the single drink he'd been nursing since he had sat down. Julian hadn't noticed your question, having stared straight out the window, to the pool in the backyard.

"Are you really going to marry him?" Julian asks, turning away from the window to face you, breaking the silence.

You appear taken aback as you turn from the bar cart, having poured yourself a vodka soda. "What kind of question is that?"

"A serious one. Tell me honestly, that if he hadn't asked you at Thanksgiving dinner in front of everyone - if he'd asked you last week at school or after the two of you got back to Boston - tell me you would've still said yes then." Julian's turned to face you, both his voice and face intensely directed at you as you're perched on the arm of the chair next to John.

He sees you falter and cover it up by taking a sip of your drink. "I don't know. Who knows what would have happened. I said yes - that's what actually happened. What matters," you reply with a definitive set to your voice, unable to look Julian in the eye for longer than a second.

John turns to you fully. That wasn't the right answer to that question - it should've been an enthusiastic, no holds barred yes. Instead it was…whatever that was.

"You know his mother flinches whenever his father walks by her, right?" Julian asks, exchanging a look with John as he does. They'd talked about that before, how Mrs. van Doren seems terrified of her husband in a manner entirely unfamiliar to the both of them. Their mothers didn't cower from their fathers that way.

You appraise them both before you speak. "I'm not her and Matthew is not his father," you state firmly. "That is my future family, and you shouldn't speak about them like that," you declare, as though trying to steer the conversation to a close. John can tell you'd been aware of that - you've always been fairly observant so he isn't entirely surprised.

Julian stands up all of a sudden, causing both of you to look at him curiously. He walks to the window, looking out at the backyard before he speaks again. "You do realize that the dinner with the van Dorens - Mother lied. That wasn't always the plan. It only became the plan yesterday because it was decided that Matthew would propose to you tonight."

"Okay…so what? My boyfriend decided to propose to me. What's the big deal?" Both you and John look at one another in confusion, and then at Julian, prompting him to speak further.

"Did you notice that Papa and Mr. van Doren went off to his study for drinks afterwards? That Dom wasn't invited?" Julian asks, head still facing the backyard.

You stand up, setting your drink down on the table, and cross your arms over your chest. "What're you getting at Julian? Just come right out and say whatever it is you're trying to say."

Julian turns away from the window finally, instead choosing to lean against it, facing you. "He made the Singapore deal with them. With the van Dorens. Matthew proposing to you was part of the exchange."

There's a tense silence and John can hear you take a sharp inhale as you process what Julian had just revealed. "The only reason he'd need the van Dorens for Singapore is if - is if you said no to the Waldorf girl," you speak hesitantly, your breathing more shallow than before. John notices your hand twist the ring around your finger.

Julian says nothing.

"You said no? Why would you do that?" You slowly walk towards Julian, where he still stands near the window. John feels like he should leave, but there really wasn't an easy way to do that now. "This is the third girl Julian," you continue softly. "Mother and Papa wouldn't set you up with someone awful. They'd find someone who would be there for you, by your side."

Julian scoffs, brushing past you and going to stand at the other side of the room, opposite you, his face contorted with disbelief. "That's what you're focused on? The fact that I said no? Not the fact that your father SOLD you?" he yells suddenly, and John worries someone in the house will wake up and overhear this conversation.

You look as though he'd slapped you. "Don't - don't say it like that." Your voice breaks pathetically, and John has the immediate urge to tell off Julian for talking to you that way. But he knows better. He should stay out of it. In truth, he really shouldn't be present at all.

"How else am I supposed to phrase it?" Julian sneers at you, throwing his arms up. "He sold you like you were property - like a whore he could pimp out to sweeten to pot. Is that better?" he spits out, fully enraged and pacing towards you.

John pushes up from his seat quickly, fully set to calm Julian down and get him away from you. This wasn't the way to do this, even if Julian was telling the truth. He's stopped however, but your hand grasping his wrist. He turns and sees you shake your head.

Julian turns to look at the both of you, his eyes focused on where your hand is wrapped around John's wrist. "What about John?" he asks, his eyes shifting down, away from you. "Thought you wanted to end up with him one day," he says, gesturing at your joined hands.

You let go of John's wrist as though it had scalded you. There's a charged silence ringing in his ears and John cannot believe Julian had brought that up. It had been four long years and you'd both tried very hard to move past it. John's suddenly finding it very hard to breathe. How had they come to this? It should have been about helping you see that maybe Matthew wasn't entirely right - how had his name gotten dragged into it?

Your jaw has dropped as you look at Julian, eyes widened in shock. You let out a breath of disbelief, shaking your head, at a complete loss for words. The three of you did not talk about that, ever. You and Julian especially had never even acknowledged it.

You open your mouth to say something, but John beats you to it. "What the hell, man." He's looking at Julian in complete shock is heart racing - the two of them had never talked about it afterwards save for that one drunken night in Barcelona when Julian had apologized for being selfish and wanting to have his friend all to himself. John had ended up reassuring him that the two of you had made the decision together, and the timing of it all, the different stages of life you had been about to embark on, all would've made things too difficult. Had things not worked out between the two of you due to the circumstances alone - neither one of you could bear to do that to the other. What Julian had done was likely for the best. Julian hadn't remembered any part of the conversation the following morning.

Julian appears slightly ashamed as he is unable to meet both of your eyes, realizing that he'd crossed a line.

You're trying very hard to maintain your composure and John can see the shimmer of tears glazing your eyes. It's quiet for a moment more as he watches you gather your wits about you, your hands shaking ever so slightly, the only sound in the room coming from both your forced controlled breathing and Julian's erratic ones.

"Let me make something perfectly clear to you," you grit out, eyes fiery and blazing at Julian. "You, of all people, do not get to throw that in my face. You made your decision four years ago, and so did we." Your voice is cold and John feels a shiver run through him at a cold fury that isn't even directed fully at him. You look from Julian, to John, who meets your eyes for barely a second, before looking away. You'd both chosen Julian over one another.

Julian looks only at the ground.

What had been the point of Julian saying no to the two of you four years ago if he was going to suddenly be alright with it in the face of you marrying Matthew? However, it seemed as though you didn't even care about that - you'd simply brushed past it already and John is left reeling, thinking through the implications of what both you and Julian had put out there. Julian didn't care. Unfortunately for him, it appeared neither did you.

"If you'd just say yes - " he hears your voice again, through the din in his head that is trying to make sense of everything,  as you carry on, still intent on talking to Julian, intent on ignoring what he'd just brought up as if it meant so little. John isn't sure how you possibly could ignore it - he hasn't been able to think of anything else since, Julian's words echoing over and over in his brain.

"To marrying someone I do not love? For some business deal? Ruin my life for that?" he roars at you snapping out of his silent shame, swiping his hand across one of the end tables and sliding the old lamp off of it. The three of you watch as it crashes to the floor and breaks, emitting a crash. You flinch when it hits the floor.

John turns to you and there are silent tears streaming down your face as you stare at Julian in utter shock. It's gone too far - this whole thing. John feels like a voyeur - like he's intruding on his parents breaking up or something.

"For the family!" you scream, your voice a whispered shout as you're still mindful of how late it is. Far more so than Julian had been. "You do it for the family Julian! I did it for you when I gave you John, because you needed him. You were asked to do something that helps the family, you should've just done it. You don't just run away and ignore all responsibility and obligation. You step up, be a man, and do what's asked of you."

Julian looks at you with disgust coloring his features. "Well excuse me if I have a little more self respect than that," he says, entirely bypassing what you'd said about John as though you had never even said it at all. It was as though he didn't even care - didn't realize - how awful and heartbreaking of a sacrifice he'd forced upon you. And yet, you'd done it - for him.

You look away from him, and John can feel the frustration and anger cascading off of you in waves, tinged by something else he can't quite discern, but he thinks it might be…fear. "How much longer do you expect Papa to let you get away with this? He isn't exactly known for being patient. Sooner or later there will be repercussions. He's been lenient long enough." Your voice is hoarse as you swallow your tears and fury.

You're all aware of your father's reputation - cold, calculating, and merciless. You all know the kind of person Julian was choosing to challenge and while his wrath towards his children had its limits, it had quite a stretch of runway before it reached its end. Julian was playing with fire by continuing on his current path.

Julian appraises you and appears to consider your words, before his eyes land on the large ring adorning your hand, reinvigorating the fight within him. "Then I suppose I'll wait till that day. Until then, I won't just lie down and spread my legs for whomever," he jeers at you.

"Enough." John's finally reached his limit with the entire argument, his jaw clenched tightly and a thunder-struck expression marring the rest of his features as he fully comprehends how far Julian has strayed. "You can't talk to her that way," he states firmly, positioning himself between the two of you.

Julian looks at him, a manic glint in his eyes. A derisive laugh escapes him, bouncing off the walls. "Didn't realize she still did it for you. Isn't twenty one a little old for your tastes?"

"FUCK OFF, Julian." You can scarcely believe him. How could he talk to John like that?

"With pleasure," he scoffs, looking from you, to John, and then turns the knob on the door and slams it shut behind him, leaving just you and John standing in the study by yourselves.

John watches as you pull yourself together. He wants to go to you and hold you and tell you that Julian was just being a dick. But part of him agrees with Julian - especially if he's telling the truth about how it all came together. Part of him also feels the sting of what Julian implied about him despite how untrue it is. So he holds himself apart as the two of you stare at one another in the wake of the deafening silence left behind by Julian's exit.

John watches as you wipe away the remaining tears and bend to gather the broken pieces of the lamp, sweeping away the evidence of Julian's rage. You walk and grab the lamp sitting in the far corner of the room, replacing the broken one. John can do nothing but watch.

"Why did you say yes?" he asks finally, unable to stop himself.

You blink, not having expected that from him and he watches as you bite your lower lip between your teeth, quietly thinking over his question, your fingers twisting the ring around your finger in earnest. Your tongue pokes out and licks the spot your teeth had worried moments earlier. He feels entirely scrutinized under your gaze. With a short exhale, you answer, "Because he asked."

Before he can say anything more, you've followed Julian's example and walked out the door, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the study.

He never did find out what it had been that you'd wanted to talk to him about after dinner. The next morning it was as though nothing had transpired at all. You and Julian weren't speaking, and John found he had very little to say himself.

*------------*

Julian had flown out to Boston the week after you'd left. John had figured the two of you would make up eventually, and he was glad he hadn't been wrong about that, though he and Julian had argued once again about him simply telling you the truth of why he kept turning away set ups with women. Julian was staunchly against it still, even more so now that you'd agreed to marry Matthew and didn't appear to be wavering in your decision at all. The two of them simply didn't address anything else Julian had said, and John decided that was likely for the best.

The holidays had passed uneventfully - he'd spent it mostly with Cece, only seeing you and Julian the day after Christmas when everyone gathered at your parents' home to exchange presents and for everyone to meet baby Amara. He watched as you sat in the large chair in the living room, holding Amara in your hands as she slept, Matthew perched on the arm of the chair. He can't help but smile - you'd be a good mother, even if yours hadn't been.

The call regarding Julian's death had come in mid-February, Dom on the other end telling him that Julian had been victim to a mugging gone wrong. The funeral had been held back in Connecticut, Julian's body shipped back. Your parents had opted for a closed casket, so John was left to remember December 26th - the last time he'd seen his best friend in person.

His eyes searched for you at the funeral, and when he saw you, it was as though you weren't even there. Your father had been the one to stand and speak - he would've thought it would be you. Julian would've preferred that, he was sure. He'd gone through the line of people offering their condolences robotically, inching along behind his father. As he approached, he sees your eyes look up - first at his father, who hugs you quickly, and then at him. He can't move. He's frozen. He sees your lower lip tremble - he hadn't yet seen you shed a single tear - you'd stood stoically by to your parents the entire prior hour and a half that he'd observed you.

It's as though he moves on autopilot, his hand reaching out for yours - it was good that he had, as you had nearly tripped forward into him, your arms wrapped tiredly around his shoulders. He's quick to usher you away, into the back room where Sunday School classes are typically held.

Your body shakes against him in silent sobs as tears cascade down. He's unsure how, but the two of you had ended up on the brightly patterned carpet of the classroom, his legs spread out in front of him and you're situated on his lap as close to his chest as possible as your body is wracked with sobs. He clutches you tightly to him, holding you close and allowing you to fall apart the way you needed to. He'd hold it together for the both of you.

When his mother peaks in to the room, he signals her away. It was likely due to her that no one else bothers the two of you again. You say nothing and neither does he. When you finally calm down, his fingers brush away the remaining tears on your face and he feels you reach up and do the same to him. He hadn't realized he'd cried as well.

He helps you up and the two of you walk out. He watches as you approach Matthew, who wraps an arm around your shoulder and looks at him with what could almost be classified as gratitude. Matthew wasn't equipped to deal with this.

*------------*

He hears you'd been in an accident only a month or so afterwards. He's in the middle of a deposition and unable to go in person. He hears from his mother that you'd gone through some surgery but were otherwise alright. There was something in her voice that gave him some pause, but he hadn't had the time to press further.

He sent a bouquet of dahlias along with a Get Well Soon card.

*------------*

You're set to graduate and he's not sure if he should go. His father had asked him over a few weeks prior and told him that Julian's death hadn't been accidental. He didn't know what to believe anymore.

He doesn't go. He's not quite ready to see you again yet.

Julian was dead. What was there really to do?

*------------*

"So eventually, the guy calms down enough after I explain that the fire alarm on the gallery wall wasn't an art piece and not for sale, but only after he made poor Lucille cry, can you believe it?"

John laughs, shaking his head. "Lucille's easy to make cry though, you have to admit." he says, handing Cece the glass of wine he'd just poured.

She laughs, and is about to launch into another story, as the doorbell rings. "I'll get it," she says, leaving him in the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher.

A minute or so later, he hears footsteps and turns to see Cece, followed by you. He hadn't seen you since Julian's funeral, and there you stood in his kitchen, entirely soaked from the rain outside, having dripped water on the floors on your way in.

"Y/N said she needed to speak with you," Cece supplies, breaking him out of the stupor his brain had entered at the sight of you. "I think I'm going to head out, let the two of you talk."

John simply nods, not thinking to ask her to stay or even thank her. The two of you stare at one another, and he finds himself entirely uncomfortable being alone with you, for the very first time.

"Let me grab you a towel," he manages, indicating you towards the couch in the living room. He walks to the linens cabinet in the back and by the time he returns, you've shed your jacket and are facing away from him in a light tank top, revealing your shoulders and a large fading bruise off to one side.

He wordlessly hands you the towel and watches as you squeeze the water out of your hair, wet tendrils clinging to the side of your face. You still haven't spoken a single word and he finds himself at a loss to say much of anything. He knows you graduated a couple of weeks prior and he knows his father had attended, not wanting to miss his god daughter's graduation ceremony. He wonders briefly if his father had decided to enlighten you as to the true nature of Julian's death, and comes to the conclusion that he had. Why else would you be there?

"How'd that happen?" he asks, breaking the silence as you had turned away from him to slip out of your boots, indicating towards the bruise he'd seen.

You look over your shoulder at him with your eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't worry about it." you reply, turning around and holding up your hand, showing him your empty ring finger. "Waited till Singapore was a done deal, and I ended it."

John lets out a deep breath of disbelief. Matthew had hurt you so much that you had a bruise traversing the length of your upper back. What the hell had he done to you? He can feel the rage and surge of protectiveness that he typically feels around you, storming in his head, and as though you could sense his shift, you place a feather light touch to his arm. "It's alright. I'm fine. Ricky already broke his nose."

That doesn't cause him to worry any less whatsoever. Things had been so bad that Ricky had broken the bastard's nose. A rogue snort escapes him regardless, as he tries to calm himself. Now wasn't the time to get riled up about Matthew - especially if he was history. "Always did like that Ricky kid," he says instead, in an attempt to not slip back into silence. The silence had been wildly uncomfortable and now that it had been broken, he was intent on keeping it that way.

You're toweling off your wet hair as you watch him, your eyes appraising him and then turning to look around at his place. He saw his loft through your eyes - the exposed brick and open floorplan. His bed off to the other side, sheets still rumpled from when Cece had been over. It had been his attempt to tone down his lifestyle - girls got odd ideas when he'd take them back to the company owned apartment he'd stayed in the first couple of months after his internship wrapped with McGuire.

"Really bought into the whole Brooklyn hipster thing, didn't you?" you say, your tone colored with a hint of humor he hadn't expected.

John lets out a half laugh, knowing it wasn't quite your taste. Whatever had brought you to his door despite the pouring rain outside seemed far away at the moment.

"You want something to drink? Eat?" he asks, gesturing you over to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of water and sets it on the counter for you.

You follow, hopping onto the island as he busies himself with putting the dishes away again, knowing you'll talk once you're ready. It's quiet for a couple of minutes - the only sounds coming from the rain outside and the movement from him working his way through the rest of the load. He looks outside, feeling a small bit of guilt for letting Cece leave in this weather. He'd have to make it up to her later.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask finally, as he puts the final plate in and shuts the dishwasher.

The question finally vocalized was far less angry than anticipated. He’d expected fury and rage raining down upon him for keeping the truth from you. He’d expected having to beg for your forgiveness. This quiet line of questioning felt alarmingly wrong to him. John turns, leaning against the opposite counter, his shoulders hunched together, arms crossed in front of his chest. You're still seated on the island, legs dangling, palms pressed into the granite, knuckles tensed around the edge. He looks up to meet your eyes and his voice catches as he does - you've dropped the veil you'd worn when you first arrived, revealing the unbridled pain underneath. Glassy eyes follow his, searching for some sort of answer - some explanation that would help make sense of your world that had been turned upside down.

"I -," he sighs deep, trying to gather his thoughts all together but they keep slipping out of his hands like sand. "I didn't think you'd - you'd believe me or what good it would do," he manages out, unable to look up at you, instead settling for fixing his gaze to where Matthew's ring used to sit. There was still a white ring there, the surrounding skin a couple of shades darker.

You're silent in the face of his confession. He hadn't wanted to be the one to turn your life upside down. He hadn't wanted to be the reason you questioned everything. He should've. He knows that. He'd been a coward, running away from it all. Unwilling to shoulder the responsibility of the fall out. He can't help but feel like he's joined the list of men who have completely let you down.

“Did you know - did you always know ab - about Julian?” you ask, eyes downcast as you struggle to put your question into words.

John can imagine the hurt you must’ve felt when you finally learned Julian’s life long secret. How that must have eaten away at you, made you question what you’d done to frighten Julian into never telling you. How many puzzle pieces must have fallen together - the fact that Julian never once brought home a girl, how he never once expressed interest in anyone openly, every refusal to marry. He knows how your fight with Julian must haunt you now - knowing the full context of his actions. Agreeing to marry a woman your parents set him up with - any woman - would have killed his spirit entirely.

“Yeah, I did,” he admits, meeting your eyes as he does.

You let out a breath and he sees your shoulders slump as you look away from him, trying to hide the tears in your eyes from him. You were never quite that good at hiding things from him, however. Your lips part as though you wish to say something or ask something, but appear to think better of it, shaking your head as you do. John’s uncertain where this hesitation in you is coming from. There should be a barrage of questions being hurled at him right now - not the two questions he’s gotten so far. Nothing about this feels right to him.

Your hair has started to curl slightly as it dries, forming waves around your face, and he's tempted to push the hair behind your ears, out of your face because he knows how that bothers you.

"What now?" he asks, unable to linger in the silence any longer.

You shake your head as you look at him, releasing a long held sigh. "I have no idea. I cashed out the trust fund and deferred law school. By now Matthew must've told them that I ended things. I haven't heard anything from anyone." The lack of response must be killing you, he knows. Perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He nods. Letting Singapore go through uninterrupted probably helped - it would buy you time if nothing else. He doubts your father thinks you know the truth about Julian. More than likely, it'll be chalked up to nerves or rebellion - maybe even grief.

You hop off of the island, landing right in front of him and he resists the urge to reach out and steady you on your feet. "Thank you. I should go. Tell Cece I'm sorry for interrupting," you say, throwing a half apologetic smile his way over your shoulder.

You walk back to the couch, and he follows, watching you lean down and pull your shoes back on.

His brow scrunches up in concern. You were leaving already? "Where are you going to go?" he asks, watching you apprehensively. That was it? Why even bother coming then?

"Not sure yet. I'll see you around," you reply over your shoulder, shrugging your jacket back on.

With that, you're gone as quickly as you came, and he's left feeling off kilter, staring around his apartment, wondering if you'd been some sort of hallucination. A fever dream borne of a guilty mind that hadn’t felt at peace in a very long time.

*------------*

He didn't hear from you again for a couple of months. The next he even heard of you was in the gossip magazines that Cece had brought over to his apartment to read on Sunday mornings while he cooked them both breakfast. She showed him photographs of you wearing skimpy dresses, escorted by pretty boy model types at every club in the city.

Through the grapevine - and he was guilty of using Cece to get the inside track on everything - he finds out that you'd moved into an apartment in the Upper East Side and had made it your goal to be the most notorious party girl the city's ever seen. It's in complete contrast to the low profile you typically keep and he sees it for what it is - a bizarre attempt at drawing attention to yourself. To what end, he could only guess at.

Another month in, and he gets a drunken call from you, providing him the name of some pub that is decidedly low brow - nothing like the clubs and speakeasies you're known to haunt. He arrives to find you seated at the bar, your short dress hiked up past the point of decency, nearly passed out. He finds out where you live and helps you to your place, depositing you on your couch. The guys at the front desk had him in their system already it seemed, and he'd been waved up rather quickly as he carried your limp form.

He leaves you there as he has work the following morning, and taking care of twenty two year old socialites isn't something he has the time or energy to do, even if it is you. It's as though he can feel himself being sucked into your tornado and he's digging his heels in, determined to stay away. He knows that if he gives in, that'll be it. You'll take over his life, his breath, his soul all over again and it had taken far too much out of him to escape the first time.

*------------*

Cece asks him if he's spoken to you recently. Apparently, you've been getting somewhat of a reputation. She heard from her contacts in the art world that you'd been frequenting some pill parties and it was only a matter of time before the tabloids got a hold of it.

There's a growing pit in his stomach anytime you come up, anytime he sees your face on the cover of a paper as he buys coffee, anytime something small reminds him of you. You're both in Manhattan every day. You're never more than a dozen miles away from him. Yet, what's he supposed to do really? He's not your caretaker. You're an adult. The worst thing in the world had happened and you're coping with it just as he had coped with it.

Despite that, he knows this isn't really you - not how you typically cope. You're entirely mission oriented and your way of dealing with things usually comes in the form of finding something new to conquer, something new to be good at, something new to distract yourself with. This is the first time he's seen you latch onto something destructive just to keep going on.

*------------*

"Do you think it hurt, when he died?"

John blinks, still trying to make sense of what was going on. He had been woken by the shrill ringtone he had set just for you, to make sure he'd never miss a call, and as his eyes settle on the clock on the nightstand, he realizes that it's past three in the morning. His heart is beating really fast, having been startled awake harshly and his brain struggles to close the gap between dreams and reality.

"What?"

"Julian, when he died. Do you think it was fast? Was it painless? Or do you think it was drawn out? Knowing Papa, I feel like he would've drawn it out. Don't you?"

He feels the hair on the back of his neck stand at your voice and your words. At what they're implying. There’s a nearly hauntingly playful quality to your voice that gives him chills.

"Where are you?" he asks, his heart thudding in his chest still, your words ringing in his ears, and his stomach clenching over and over doing somersaults. Something's wrong. He can feel it in his bones. Something is very wrong.

"Home."

"Stay there. I'm coming over."

It's nearly twelve miles from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side and on a normal day at three in the morning it would take twenty two minutes to get there. John makes it in twelve. He leaves his bike parked right in front, despite the doorman's protests, tossing the keys to him on his way in. If he cared so much, then he could move it.

His blood runs cold when he sees you lying on the floor, pills spilling out of the bottle that lies limp in your hand. You're cold when he reaches you, his hands trembling as he feels for a pulse, before scooping you up and taking you to the shower and placing you under the stream. He forces a couple of fingers down your throat, doing his best to force the pills up, unsure how many you'd taken by the time he arrived. He feels like he's living every nightmare come to life.

It's early morning by the time you're fully conscious, lying in the tub as he sits at the edge, watching over you. He'd had a few hours to himself to just watch you and think. Things couldn't go on the way they had been. He had to do something, or the next time he wouldn't get there in time.

He sees you stir and orders you to clean up and meet him outside, his voice unrecognizable to even himself. By the time you emerge, you'd showered and wet hair clumps around your head. You're wearing his old law school hoodie, and he feels a twinge of something, despite knowing you'd done it on purpose.

He places a plate of toast in front of you. You didn't keep much in the apartment besides bottles of chilled champagne and that really wasn't what he was going to serve at six thirty in the morning to the girl who had tried to overdose on pills the night before.

"We're going to take him down," he announced, as you munch on the toast and look at him cautiously.

Your eyes flash at him and you continue to chew, buying yourself time to respond. Finally you swallow and look up at him. "We?"

"Yes. We are not doing a repeat of last night. Ever. So get that clear in your head." His voice is firm and his jaw clenched as he remembers the sight of you lying on the floor only a few hours ago.

You're quiet, looking away from him and he can see the faintest hint of color in your cheeks and he hears you sniffle quietly.

"You scared me last night." His voice is entirely controlled, only the tremor in his hand giving away how entirely affected he is by the past few hours of terror he'd lived through.

Your voice is soft when you speak, catching in your throat when you do. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I don't want sorry. I want you to promise me that it won't happen again," he begs, reaching across and tucking the hair that had fallen into your face back behind your ear.

"I miss him." You look up at him and suddenly he's reminded of the eighteen year old who had snuck into his room after graduation - entirely vulnerable, entirely young, standing at the precipice of the unknown.

John sighs. "Me too. But that doesn't mean - it doesn't mean we give up."

You nod, standing up and walking around the counter to him, wrapping your arms tight around his waist. "So what're we going to do?" you ask, looking up at him.

*------------*

You'd just left his parents' home after having dinner with the three of them, followed by drinks in the study with his father, his mother choosing to retire to bed early.

The three of you had been working together on how to dismantle your father from the inside, and already he'd seen a big change in you. It wasn't how you'd been before, but it was better than it had been recently, and he'd take that win for now.

"You should know," his father discloses, clearing his desk of the files he'd taken out to share with the two of you, "when she turned eighteen, I asked her father about her and you - we all saw the way you look at her. I thought it would be nice to unite our families as one.”

John looks at his father with some amount of surprise. He hadn't known that - that he'd approached your father for your hand.

"Don't look so surprised son. You're not nearly as subtle as you like to think you are. Her father wasn't surprised either. I imagine he ensured it didn't happen regardless. The Hawthornes were not politically useful to him and he needed to keep her available." There's a slight bitter quality to his father's voice.

John nods, a stuttered breath escaping him. He wonders what your father had said to Julian in order to get him to interfere the way he had. He wonders if you knew.

"You need to be careful, son. Don't fall for her again," his father warns. John doesn't know how to break it to him - it was already far too late for that.

*------------*

John's woken up at eight in the morning on a Sunday with a knock on his door. Bleary eyed, he goes to open it, only to have a clipboard shoved in his face. A delivery man is standing here, urging him to sign for a package.

"It's downstairs. Can't bring it here. Won't fit."

What kind of a package was that big that it wouldn't fit in the elevator? He follows the man downstairs, who leads him to a truck, from the back of which a motorcycle is rolled off.

John stands there, blinking, unsure what to make of it all. Right as the delivery man hands him the keys, a cab pulls up, and out you step, looking far more dressed up and cheery than anyone should that early in the morning.

"Oh good it's here," you exclaim, beaming at him.

"What's going on?" he asks, taking in your appearance - the leather jacket and the combat boots. You looked like you were playing a biker chick for Halloween.

"I had Julian's bike shipped over," you explain, your eyes taking in his shirtless appearance and skimming over the grey sweatpants he had worn to bed. "You're going to teach me how to ride it."

He raises an eyebrow. "I am?"

"Yes. Now go put on a shirt. When do you even have time to do all that?" you ask, waving your hands in the general direction of his chest and abs, a flirty smile on your face that makes him blush ever so slightly. "Thought you were a lawyer."

John could feel a migraine coming on as he shivers from the cold. There really was no talking you out of this or reasoning to do this at a more humane hour. Rolling his eyes, he tosses you the keys before going upstairs to change.

*------------*

It had been a heart attack from nowhere. He'd gotten a call from his mother in the dead of night, hysterically screaming for him. Apparently you'd gotten the same call, as you'd arrived at the hospital before even he did. You held his mother together while the doctor spoke to him. It had been quick, relatively painless as far as death goes.

Everyone had come for the funeral, and from the corner of his eye he saw you greeting both of your parents as though nothing had happened. Your father's arm around your waist fills him with disgust, leaving him wondering how you could stand his touch after knowing everything that you did.

The funeral and wake afterwards seem to stretch on forever and all he wants is to be away from all the people.

It's late and most everyone had left, his mother catered to by her sisters - he'd needed a breather. He'd ended up in his childhood bedroom - surrounded by his soccer trophies, swimming medals, debate gavels - a shrine his mother had maintained to him and his achievements.

"Hey."

He turns at the sound of your softly hesitant voice as you stand at the door. You're still wearing the black dress you'd worn earlier in the day, a delicate strand of pearls wrapped tightly around your neck. He recognizes it as a piece his father had gifted you for one of your birthdays when you were younger, and he smiles at the memory of everyone surrounding you while you wore a tiara and blew out candles.

"Hey, come on in Cap."

You smile slightly at his use of the moniker, and walk in, carefully shutting the door behind you. The bed shifts as you come and sit by him, your hand reaching for his. He feels a streak of warmth go through him - the first bit of warmth he's felt since he saw his mother's crying face at the hospital.

"He's gone," he whispers, turning towards you. His father was gone. He's an adult, and this was a part of life, but he wasn't even thirty years old yet. Parents weren't supposed to die when you're that young. They're supposed to be there when you get married, when you have kids. His father would never meet his children.

You squeeze his hand, bringing his head down to your shoulder as you hold him. Tears won't come. He didn't think he was capable - not yet at least. Right now it was enough to feel something - anything.

He takes another deep breath and as he turns his head, he catches your worried look. His eyes go from yours to your lips and back again and before he knows it, he's leaned in. You let him. He pulls away, set to apologize, but when he tries to, your lips cover his again. A shuddered breath traverses through the both of you as he lowers you to the navy blue sheets that cover the bed, your light hands traveling from his face to his hair, to his arms - leaving sparks of sensation everywhere they go. He acts on pure instinct, the two of you careful to keep quiet as his hands roam, touching skin and drawing noises, whose mere imagination had maintained permanent residence in his dreams for years.

*------------*

It had been two weeks since his father's funeral before he sees you again by himself. He'd spent a large amount of that time with his mother, helping her pack up his father's things and sort through the will. You’d been there with her whenever he couldn’t be.

He kept replaying that night over and over again in his head. It shouldn't have happened like that. The two of you - finally - it should've been perfect. Instead it had been coated with grief and hurt - a desire to provide comfort and years of pent up longing that should've exploded but instead simmered into a low fizzle. It had still been what he had needed. It just hadn't been what you needed, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for that, as he remembers you giving him a half hearted smile and adjusting your clothes before heading back downstairs.

"They turned me down," you complain as he opens the door to you.

He lets you walk in and you hand him a piece of paper that he reads twice before it fully clicks. "The CIA rejected you?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah, can you believe it?" You scoff, rolling your eyes, entitlement wafting off of you.

You seem entirely put out as you help yourself to the scotch he'd been drinking and he can't help but laugh a bit. "You've never been rejected before, have you? Princess has never not gotten what she wants." He knows you haven't - Harvard undergrad, accepted to Harvard Law School, top of your class and winning every single thing you'd ever set out for.

You shake your head at his somewhat obvious mockery and make yourself comfortable on his couch next to him, not responding as you focus instead on drinking. It was still odd seeing you drinking real liquor - like you'd actually grown up. Ruefully, you reply, "I've never really gotten what I want."

He's left to ponder that response while you drink some more.

"So I suppose I'll be going to my safety school at the FBI," you sigh after a few minutes, reaching across his lap for the remote. "I feel like I'm going to Columbia or something," you joke, trying to shake it off.

"Hey!"

You laugh as you flick on the news, settling into his side. He's glad you're still casually comfortable together. There had been a part of him that had worried that things would be different afterwards, so it was good to see that you haven't deviated from your normal treatment of him. He watches you as your eyes are trained on the TV anchor, your face scrunching up with every sip of the scotch. You're still not used to the taste or the burn, even if you like to pretend to enjoy it now.

"Let me make it up to you."

You turn up to look at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Last time,” he explains, swallowing a breath that threatens to burst out of him. “It shouldn't have been like that. You didn't - you didn't finish. Let me make it up to you."

You chuckle dismissively, patting his thigh with your hand. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" he presses. He's had a taste of you. He's not ready to just let it go. Let you go.

You're quiet for a second, before you push up from the couch. He follows.

"Because it won't be what you think it will - what you want it to be. It won't be us how it should've been,” you say, your voice low and colored with sadness, fingers fretting with the edge of your top, and eyes unable to meet his.

The two of you stand in the middle of the loft, the draft chilling the air around you. Your words linger in the air, swirling around the two of you.

"What do you mean?" he asks, reaching out for you. The two of you consciously or unconsciously moving around the space, closer and closer to the bed.

You bite your lip, as though unsure of how to say it. How to say it in a way that will resonate with him. "I am not the nine year old that said I was going to marry you one day, John," you clarify, a sad smile gracing your face as you look up at him. "I'm not the fifteen year old that begged you to be my first kiss. I'm not the eighteen year old that thought I'd have a beautiful life with you. Those girls are dead. I can't be who you want me to be."

John feels his heart sink at your declaration, despite knowing you're right. It's not the same as it once had been. The last time he was with you was proof enough of that. And yet, he doesn't want the time after his father's funeral to be it - not after everything. He couldn't quite bear it to leave it at that. Not if there was a chance.

"Be you then. Let me be whoever you need me to be."

You eye him carefully, surprised at his persistence. The two of you have managed to maneuver yourselves towards the other side of the loft, near his bed, and he watches apprehensively as you walk slowly closer to him, an odd glint in your eye. He finds himself instinctively backing up as you approach, until the back of his legs hit the bedframe.

"You sure about that?" you ask, and before he can catch a breath, your hands have come up and shoved against his chest, pushing him to the bed. He bounces on the mattress ever so slightly, his eyes widened in surprise as you quickly straddle him, your face oh so close to his. "Is this okay?" you appraise him, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders to maintain your balance.

He nods, moving forward and capturing your lips. He only manages to feel in control for a second, before it’s swept away from him, your fingers harshly pulling at his hair, drawing a groan from him as he finds himself bucking up towards you. It's all fast, hard - nothing like he'd imagined it would be like with you. However, it's only afterwards, as you get out of bed and pull your clothes on to leave, that he realizes exactly how different it is. He finds himself unable to say anything. After all, you'd warned him. He watches you get fully dressed and slip out the door with only a half smile and wave. Never before has he felt so...used.

The next morning, he sees the angry red scratch marks clawed into his back and the bruises left on the rest of him - that’s when it fully sinks in. You're not you.

It happens a couple more times before he starts giving as good as he's getting, and for a second you're surprised. Shockingly, instead of being discouraged, it only serves to spur you further.

Things continue in the same way throughout your training at the FBI. You tell him not to wait. That you aren't exclusive and he should date. After all, you're only back in the city around once a month and he never comes to DC. You always arrive on Julian's old motorcycle. You never spend the night. He tries dating but it's hard to want to become exclusive with other women, knowing that you'll be back again in a couple of weeks. His father’s words loom in his head constantly on the nights he lies awake wondering how you’re doing, if you’re alright, if you’re thinking of him too.

He knows he has to wait. He has to wait to tell you until everything is done and the dust settles. There’s a ring with your name on it sitting in his mother’s jewelry box. He just has to ride this out, until you’re you again.

*------------*

You'd accepted a spot on the BAU. He'd thought you'd take the offer in White Collar or something else that was based out of the New York field office at least. However, you said you liked DC and that you liked this one team in particular, and John found himself confused. The plan was really just to get access via the FBI - who cares which team it was on.

You don't see him the first few months you're on this new team. It seems you're always traveling and your phone calls are few and far in between. He starts taking on more than his fair share of the billing hours, working sixteen hour days every day. It won’t be long until he’s made partner - youngest partner in the firm’s history.

He gets far too happy when you tell him you're coming back to New York for the holidays, and ask to spend them with him. He's nearly giddy with excitement. He gets the babka from the Jewish deli you like and he grabs a couple of bottles of champagne to ring in the new year with.

You arrive, a large smile on your face, your nose red from the chill and a cute little beanie on top of your head. You laugh and leap into his arms immediately and you kiss him and he forgets how to breathe. You're in his arms and you're smiling and you're kissing him without it leading to sex and for the first time in two years he feels a surge of hope flowing through him. That's my baby.

You tell him about the team and how much you've been learning, as the two of you settle into eating dinner together. It's so nice to hear you excited about something - it reminds him of when you first started at Harvard and the two of you were still maintaining a strong friendship despite putting your relationship on the back burner. All the late night phone calls where he'd fall asleep to the sound of you talking about your history and art classes, everything you were learning in criminology and psychology and he'd just hum and listen, taking it all in. At the time, he'd been worried that you were going to work yourself to the bone doing a triple major and a minor, but you hadn't been able to decide what you wanted to do and you were intent on doing it all. It’s that similar charged passion now as you tell him about the latest case. You deal with serial killers every day and it isn’t something he’d have ever thought you’d do. You tell him about your team and that you’ve made friends, you talk about some kid’s birthday party and ask his advice on a gift, and there is this light in your eyes, this hopeful softness to your smile and he can see every possibility with you.

After dinner, the two of you sit on the couch as he fills you in on his most recent trial that he's been working, glasses of scotch in hand. He's a little surprised again when you kiss him softly, completely unlike the past year or so that you two have been intimate. He can't help but escalate it, pulling you into his lap. This was it. This was how it was always meant to be. You let him carry you to the bed and slowly lower you, going down and down as he works his way down your body. Every touch inciting a soft moan from you, every moan in turn bolstering him onward. He's not sure what changed, but you let him be with you the way he's wanted to be with you forever. Your fingers wrap around his neck, pulling him close after you both finish, leaving him buried within you. He feels your lips ghost over his forehead, fingers running through his hair. You make no move to leave.

The sun streams in through the windows, waking him the next morning. He doesn't feel you next to him, and for a second he panics and thinks you'd snuck out in the middle of the night, having realized your mistake. You don’t stay the night. Ever. You barely even linger afterwards. But then he sees you standing by the window at the kitchen, wearing his shirt and some socks to protect from the chill, a mug of coffee in your hand. His heart flutters at the sight.

He gets up, slipping on a pair of pajama pants, before joining you at the window, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and tucking his head onto your shoulder. It's only when he tries to kiss you that he notices your glossy eyes holding unshed tears.

"Hey Cap," he says softly to you, turning your face towards him gently. "What's wrong?"

You're worrying your bottom lip between your teeth and your hand, the one that isn't clutching the mug tightly is bunched into the shirt you're wearing, wrinkling the material. "I'm sorry," you manage to breathe out. "I am so sorry for all of this."

John feels his breath start to swell in concern, and he rubs his hands up and down your arms soothingly. "What're you sorry about?" Everything was finally good. What could there possibly be to be sorry about?

You swallow back a sob. "Doing this job, I see all these people every day who have been messed up by their fathers. Day in and day out, that's all I see. People trying to make sense of the world in one way or another because of how much their parents screwed them up. And you know what? A lot of these people hurt other people because of how much they've been hurt. It sickens me to relate to them - these sickos, pedophiles, and murderers and I think to myself, wow, that could easily be me if I let my father continue to get to me. If I keep going down this path where all I'm doing is basing everything around revenge and taking him down. My life is all consumingly him and I want it to not be."

John nods understandingly, as you continue to let him hold you. The pain in your voice causes his heart to clench.

"I don't like those people and I don't want to be them. I have a chance to stop them. Do something good. Feel clean for once in my life."

"If that's what you want, then alright,” he reassures you. Of course you’d do whatever was best for you - you should know that he would always do what was best for you. “But why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because - because I don't think I can do this, if I'm reminded of Julian everyday,” you sob. “I don't want to forget him, but - but I'm also not strong enough to think about him every single day and be reminded of what happened to him all the time. I want a chance to get out.”

He looks at you, trying to read between the lines of what you’re saying, and the realization dawns on him. The softness, the apologies - the way you’d let him hold you and have you wholly for the first time. The fact that you’d stayed. You were trying to say goodbye.

He can feel the mounting panic that he tries to quell. You’ve obviously thought this through, that much is clear. You’re trying to do good, to be good, to shed the shadow of your father and he can’t fault you for that in any way. It’s the right thing to do, and he knows it. He’d thrown you a life raft the day he’d found you passed out on your living room floor, and he’d started to help you paddle towards shore. He hadn’t cared what land the two of you would arrive at - the only goal being arriving on solid ground at all.

You look at him mournfully and take in a shuddered breath that he can feel rush through you as you’re still pressed against him. You stand in the cage of his arms, never once making an attempt to move away. “John, if you ask me to stay, I will,” you whisper nervously, your eyes meeting his, letting him see everything. “But, I am begging you, please don't. Don't ask me to stay. I have a shot at doing something good - something that has nothing to do with my father. Doing this job makes me feel like I'm making amends and undoing some of the bad that exists in the world. I'm starting to feel clean again. But I don't think I can do that if I have one foot in this world and - "

"And you can't do that if I'm around. Because I'm part of it. I'm part of this world."

You nod, taking another deep breath as the tears continue to fall. Down your face and his.  

"I love you." He can't help but say it. He needs to. He needs you to know, if only once.

You smile despite the tears, reaching up to cup his cheek and he leans into it and he leans into you. "I know. But I don't think that's good for either one of us anymore. I used to. But I think the two of us are too broken in the same ways. We've both been on the outskirts of the same life and we're scarred by the same darkness. All of our jagged pieces, they fit so well together. But I'm starting to think that kind of love isn't the good kind. I don't really want jagged pieces anymore. I don't want to have to have someone fit me in order to round out my edges. I want to be whole all on my own. I feel like we both need that. We both deserve that - and I can’t give it to you.”

When you said it like that, how could he even attempt to disagree.

He releases the breath he’s been holding for the past while. Your arms are still wrapped around his waist, and he lets you - he lets you be his solace. He wraps his arms tightly around your back, pulling you into him, as close as he possibly can, head bent and resting on your shoulder.

“What if I never love anyone like this again?” he asks, his words a mumble against your skin. You’re the person he talks to about things like this.

You shift, moving your head back to rest against the brick walls, bringing both arms up, holding his face gently with both hands. “You won’t,” you tell him tenderly, tilting your head ever so slightly as your eyes meet his. “You’ll love them differently. But that doesn't mean that it won't be real or deep or any less meaningful - just different. Hopefully, with any luck, it’ll be better. Because you deserve the world, John.”

You rest your forehead to his and he lets himself bask in the feeling of you - you all around him, you everywhere, you in his arms.

He prays with all his might, that you find what you’re looking for.

*------------*

The tattoos had been his idea. He wanted something to always remember Julian by. But he was also a selfish man - he needed a tether - something to tie you to him forever.

You part ways outside the tattoo parlor, one of the bottles of champagne that he'd bought in your bag. He goes home alone.

You ride the bike back to DC and pop open the bottle of champagne on New Year's Eve all by yourself, drinking to a fresh start.

[sokkas-honour]

Could u do #33 for suki, thx your amazing!

the story - suki x fem!reader

pairing: suki x fem!reader

warning: none i think ???

notes: holy shit there is so much conan gray on my top 100 and by this point, i’ve done almost all of th kid krow songs this is hilarious.

and when i was younger, i knew a girl and a girl, best friends with each other,

you heard her laugh and suddenly your heart was doing summersaults like it always did when you heard it, no matter how long you had known her, no matter how much you had a heard it, you never got sick of it. there was just something about it, maybe it was just the sound of it or maybe it was knowing that the girl who had your heart was happy.

“you should’ve seen the other guy’s face, i-” sokka retelling of something that had happened to him while he was visiting the south pole got cut off by suki spotting you enter the jasmin dragon, eyes wide with excitement.

“y/n!” she waved to you, helping you locate your friends in the beautiful tea shop even if it wouldn’t have been difficult to do yourself considering your friends weren’t the quietest group of teenagers but it didn’t matter, it was a part of why you loved them dearly.

“hey guys.” you shyly greeted everyone as you finally reached them in the back of the building, not bothering to individually reply to everyone saying their hellos to you as suki shooed zuko that was sitting next to her, making a spot right next to the kyoshi warrior available. you mumbled a sorry to the new firelord but he dismissed it with a knowing smile.

“did you get lost?” suki whispered to you as sokka took the silence that had settled once you found your spot as an inventation to continue his tale, the girl now disinterested in the boy’s story now that you were here, eager to talk with you as you hadn’t been together all day, opting to try and find some of your relatives that you knew lived in ba sing se.

“no, just didn’t see time go by.” you whispered back, turning your head ever so slightly to answer the girl before pretending to listen to sokka’s story, staying silent as everyone interjected, asking questions in order to know more.

“was it fun?” after a couple of minutes of trying to pay attention in his story, suki gave up, wanting to talk to you again as she had missed you dearly throughout the day, not being used to spending that much time without you. being attached at the hip ever since you joined the kyoshi warriors meant you two stuck together through thick and thin, not being complete without the other being near them.

“it was! turns out i have like five cousins here but a couple of them moved to omashu.” you both turned your heads at the same time, fully investing yourselves into your side conversation rather than the one sokka was telling.

“do you think you’ll want to go visit them?” she tucked her loose hair behind her ear. you admired how beautiful her bare face looked, not always getting the possibility to see it for more than a couple of minutes before she’d go to bed or right before she got ready for the day. although you thought her kyoshi warrior makeup looked absolutely badass on her, you couldn’t help but appreciate the natural beauty that laid behind it.

“not sure, kind of have a job. it’s called being a kyoshi warrior, not sure if you’ve heard of it.” you teased, earning a playful eye roll and a shove from the girl, the smile never leaving her face.

“come on y/n, it could be fun!” she insisted, her voice going a bit higher than the rather discreet whispers you had been exchanging.

“what could be fun? what are you two talking about?” both of your heads snapped to whoever had intercepted their conversation, eyes landing on sokka with a huge smirk on his lips as everyone was staring at the two of you causing a blush to dust your cheeks while suki remained unphased.

“y/n has some more family in omashu.” suki explained, making you want to sink further into your chair once you realised this meant that instead of sokka carrying the conversation between the majority of the gaang, you were now the one who everyone’s eyes were on.

“you visited some family here right?” katara was the first to ask you questions, making you dread what you knew was coming. luckily for you, suki noticed your uneasiness and interlocked your pinkies under the table, a habit you had both picked up back when you were training and someone was nervous, it sticking between the two of you. simply having her pinkie against yours brought on a surge of confidence that seemed to appear out of thin air and all of sudden, you didn’t mind being the center of attention for a little while.

but always wished they were more, cause they loved one another,

“boo.” you heard a voice whisper in your ear, pulling you out of whatever dream currently was taking place in your slumber. your eyes shot open, being immediately met with blue eyes glinting with mischief.

“got y’a.” she smirked as she stood up fully, no longer leaning over your face in order to wake you up rather suddenly. you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as leaned up on both your elbows, narrowing your eyes at your friend that took you out of your peaceful state.

“what the hell was that for?” you whined, voice still groggy for only being awake for mere seconds. before she could answer, you got yours as you simply registered what her face was decorated with. the white makeup that caked her face along with the red and black that surrounded her eyes was all you needed to realise you most likely overslept on what you thought was your day off.

“shit.” you mumbled, throwing the cover off as you stood up, suki moving out of the way to watch you scrambled around the room for your uniform as you were still in your pajama’s. arms crossed, same smirk on her face but it slowly morphed into one of adoration as she watched you mumbled curses under your breath as you wiggled into the kyoshi warrior uniform.

“why did you not wake me up earlier?” you asked in disbelief, not bothering to turn around so she could the annoyance on your face as you rushed to the bathroom to apply your makeup.

“don’t know, it was funny that you didn’t wake up to the bell. and i mean you did look too peaceful to bother.” the last part was mumbled as for you to not catch onto her feelings, she followed you to where you going, making sure to grab your headpiece and your fans as you left them behind.

“very funny suki.” you rolled your eyes as you went through your makeup routine as fast as possible. knowing you were too focused on getting it done as fast as possible with as much as accuracy, she let herself admire the way your tongue stuck out in concentration, the way your eyes narrowed in concentration.

“i must admit, it was a bit hilarious.” you sighed in relief as you put the last touch of the black eyeliner, putting the lid back on the pot before patting yourself down in order to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything important to your uniform. once you realised you didn’t feel your fans or your headpiece you felt your heartrate pick up.

“shit, my fans.” you mumbled as you turned around. taking a few steps to take your missing pieces before finding your friend in your path, headpiece and fans in her hands, the second sigh of relief escaping your lips in the last couple of minutes.

“you’re a life saver.” you grabbed the headpiece and turned your head slightly to make sure it was placed perfectly on your head before taking the fans and placing them right where they belonged.

“i know, now come on we’re late.” she grabbed your wrist, erasing her love stricken face for a more friendly one before leading the two of you to your posts for the day, not too far from the firelord’s chamber.

but never discovered, cause they were too afraid of what they'd say

“hey y/n.” zuko greeted you as he stepped into his office, delighted to see you were the one currently on watch while he was working, happy to have a friend keep him company even if it was silently.

you simply nodded to the firelord, making sure to keep it professional as you were on duty as his bodyguard. you two may have escaped the boiling rock together, somehow talking so much during your arrest by azula that she ended up throwing you in there with suki, and you two may have ended the hundred year war but now he was the man you were supposed to be protecting and not your friend.

a couple of hours passed in silence as you kept your hands behind your back, the only noise being the turning of pages and the scribbling of notes by the firelord along with the casual chirp of the birds that flew around the garden bringing a small smile on your lips at the nice surprise.

“listen y/n, i know you’re supposed to be professional and all but, i’ve got to ask, what’s going on between suki and you?” this time the surprise wasn’t the lovely song of a native bird but of your friend asking a question that you hoped you never had to answer.

“suki is my fellow warrior, firelord.” your face didn’t waver from the stoic expression you had, the firelord’s inquisitive one being met with a wall of years of training.

“y/n, as firelord, is anything happening between suki and you? you’re in my castle so everything i say goes.” he insisted, watching your face drop, your eyes stating on your feet as you thought of the answer, not knowing if this was the place to finally open up to someone.

“and as your friend too.” he added, his gaze softening as to make sure you didn’t feel too intimated by it.

“i don’t know, i’ve just. all my life suki and i have been best friends but i just, i wished she was more than one.” your voiced dimmed throughout your answer, surprised at how easy it was to coax that out of you.

“you know she likes you too right? i mean it’s so obvious by the way she just becomes all soft inside at the sight of you.” zuko teased, his arm placed above the head of the chair so he could place his chin on it to watch your face more closely, not talking to you in a friendly way for awhile.

“she doesn’t, i know she doesn’t.” your eyes didn’t move but you noticed that your grip on your fans tightened.

“won’t hurt to try?” hope laced in his words as he still waited for your expression to change, knowing that a simple sentence of three words would resolve years of buried feelings between suki and yourself

“actually it would sir, it would ruin our friendship and she’d say the opposite of what you say.” you finally looked up, hoping that he’d catch onto you wanting to drop the subject.

“y/n-" he tried to reason but was cut off by a rather demanding tone that he’d never heard come from you before, a slight surprise in his eyes at the side of you he hadn’t seen yet.

“now if you wouldn’t mind firelord, i’d like to do my job.” it didn’t waver, no emotions could be perceived through the tone that you used, indicating that you didn’t want to go any further and thankfully for you, zuko dropped the subject with a sigh and turned back to his work, letting the silence take over again.

moved to different states

“y/n, you can’t leave!” suki argued, stopping in her tracks as you dropped the news of your planned departure as you two walked towards the throne room where the firelord had asked you to be stationed during a meeting with international leaders.

“can we talk about this later? zuko’s waiting for us.” you stopped and turned your head around, slight annoyance in your gaze as your friend was a few steps behind you. you continued to make your way down the hallway as you heard her hurried steps, you first felt happiness as this meant she was ready to focus on your task at hand but you felt her hand grip your wrist, now causing the both of you to stop.

“no! y/n, the kyoshi warriors need you! i need you.” she pleaded, feeling herself stress at the idea of being separated from you, not being able to see your face that always made her day better, not being able to make you laugh just to hear what she thought was the most wonderful sound in the world. despite constantly having to push down her romantic feelings for you, she’d rather hurt her heart than see you leave.

“suki, you and i both knew that just behind a bodyguard isn’t what i want to do, i know it’s kyoshi’s honour to guard the firelord now but i just feel unfulfilled.” you sighed before deciding to have the much needed conversation with her now instead of later, figuring that getting it out of the way would be beneficial for the both of you.

“we’re not going to be here forever!” she kept her grip on your wrist, afraid that letting you go physically would mean letting you go forever.

“but then we’re just guards for the rest of our lives! that may be something for you but when zuko started talking to me about the possibility of going down to the new developing cities in the old colonies and helping in their development just sounded like something i’d finally want to do.” you explained, just thinking about starting a new life in a town that was just getting on its feet was enough to make the ghost of a smile appear on your face, needing to be on your own, not being able to deal with what you thought were unrequited feelings for your childhood best friend.

“if thatll make you happy.” she mumbled, finally taking her eyes off of yours, not wanting you to see the hurt in her eyes at the prospect of you feeling that your job was pointless, and having to wake up without seeing your adorable sleepy face. her grip loosened.

“it will.” your eyes softening, trying to find hers again as you put one of your hands in one of hers, squeezing it slightly in hopes that it’ll comfort her.

“then that’s great.” she finally looked up, trying her hardest to blink back tears as you kept your fingers interlocked with hers, deciding to make your way to the firelord’s throne room hand in hand for what was most likely the last time.

general taglist: @draqondance @biqherosix @butterfly-skinnylegend @sunnypluto @staygoldsquatchling02 @alteasmoon

atla taglist: @welovediaaxx @ilovespideyyy @missmorosis

[violetwolfraven]

Write Out Some Colors

@the-gay-trashmouth this is a gift for the newsies filmiversary exchange! You asked for newsbians getting together in any au and I decided to do it in my superpowers/rebellion au!

@newsiesgiftexchange one gift down, one to go!

Ngl I’m super excited to flesh out my take on Sarah’s personality here!

Tw: non-graphic injuries, mentioned abusive parents, war-like elements.

...

Sarah had thought she’d seen it all. A 15-year-old who could pull weapons out of nowhere, a 13-year-old who could see the future, even her own twin revealing out of nowhere that no, her own powers hadn’t been misfiring, he did have powers too and could talk to animals and had never told her.

All three of the kids in their family had powers, which made them illegal, which meant they were on the run with a handful of other kids with powers, whom they’d met through a boy Davey met in jail.

Strangely, that situation had worked out okay, as it turned out Jack Kelly was pretty good at keeping a gang of a couple dozen kids safe, and he didn’t have a problem with adding the Jacobs siblings to the mix.

Davey was probably the least-powerful of them, as he could communicate with animals of all kinds, but that didn’t mean they had to do what he said. Les was the most powerful, able to convince anyone to do anything, and Sarah was squarely in the middle despite technically being the oldest.

Her power was that she could see auras. Read them to know what kind of person she was dealing with, who they cared about, and what their powers were if they had any. Occasionally, she could drain power from an aura to put a person to sleep or even kill them, though a general rule of their gang was that they didn’t kill unless absolutely necessary.

Given the information she learned from auras, Sarah could literally see the tension between certain pairs in the group. She could see when they fell in love and instantly tell what power-levels they were dealing with when they met up with other gangs of powered kids. She’d pretty much seen it all.

Sarah had, however, never seen an aura like the one surrounding a girl she didn’t recognize, who was accompanying Spot and Hotshot on a meeting from Brooklyn.

Bright magenta, a glow of power that flickered and rippled in a sphere around her. Not quite as bright as Spot and Hotshot, but powerful nonetheless.

The girl herself was maybe a year or two older than Sarah, with red curls and brown eyes, a hard gleam in there like most Brooklyn kids. Unlike Manhattan, that gang didn’t have qualms about killing if they had to.

The way her aura moved suggested that she wasn’t especially attached to either of her friends yet. Probably a new kid. And the contained energy of it, the way it didn’t quite disperse into the air like, say... a pyro’s, was similar to Jack’s, like it needed to be consciously manifested by an action like drawing or something.

To say that Sarah was curious was an understatement.

Analytically minded in a way that made her good in fights, she liked knowing all possible variables. And she had no idea what power set they were dealing with, with this girl, so naturally she wanted to find out.

But while Jack was talking to Spot about something the Brooklyn and Manhattan gangs could potentially work together on and Hotshot was hanging out with one of the Guzman twins, Specs was already making friends with the new girl. They seemed to be getting along pretty well.

Sarah was going to go over to join the conversation, but... she wasn’t the most diplomatic in the group.

She was on good terms with Spot, but not great at making friends. And that girl was almost definitely a new kid, so it was probably better for relations between gangs for her not to try too hard to figure her powers out and scare her away.

She didn’t even find out her name until after Brooklyn left, when she asked Specs.

“Her name’s Katherine,” he responded, “Katherine Plumber. Nice enough, I guess, for a Brooklyn kid. She’s 18. A bit of a late bloomer, I guess. Apparently Spot considers her some kinda secret weapon.”

Brooklyn was a powerful gang, so if Katherine Plumber was considered special by their standards, that meant she had to be a serious powerhouse.

But, Specs didn’t know what her powers were. Which was rare because Specs was widely considered so trustworthy that he knew pretty much everything about everyone.

It wasn’t unheard of for one gang to turn on another, so Sarah figured it was safest to find out, which was definitely the only reason why she offered to come the next time Jack went over to Brooklyn to talk to Spot.

Screw Jojo and Albert’s laughter. She was only scoping out a potential threat. Power sets she’d never seen before needed to be planned for.

Specs wasn’t there this time, so Sarah got the chance to talk to the new girl alone.

Katherine Plumber was... really funny. And sarcastic. And she’d discovered her powers later than most and therefore was new to this world, but she was figuring it out quickly. She was smart. A fast learner.

Her aura was even more fascinating up close. The energy had an unexpected chill to it, kind of like mint—definitely similar to Jack’s—and Sarah was very curious because it clearly wasn’t the same power set. Jack’s power of bringing drawings to life was so unique that no one had ever heard of anyone else with the same one.

But Katherine wouldn’t demonstrate hers, although she accepted Sarah’s invitation to go on a scouting mission the next week.

And though staking out an office building was dull and boring, she still wouldn’t demonstrate her powers. Fascinating and frustrating.

It was amazing, how she always found a reason not to show Sarah what she could do. There was always a counter argument, always an excuse. And Sarah had just as many ways to ask for demonstrations, so they were constantly intellectually challenging each other. And they were spending a lot of time together, just because Sarah kept offering and Katherine kept accepting.

“You’s got a crush on her!” Albert teased as he and the others cackled after she explained how she had plans with Katherine again this weekend.

“I do not,” Sarah retorted, “I’m being practical for Manhattan’s future!”

No matter how Albert and Jojo and Les and even Davey laughed, it was only to find out how big of a threat she was in case Brooklyn ever became a rival.

2 missions became 3, became 6, became 10, until Sarah could count 27 excuses she’d made up to see Katherine in 2 months and she still didn’t know what her powers were.

Until Manhattan’s hideout got raided while Katherine happened to be over visiting, and as everyone else scrambled to their defense positions to let the less-powerful and younger members of the gang escape, Sarah saw her whip out that little notebook and pen she always kept in her jacket pocket.

Like over a bog, we need some fog

The thick mist rolled in out of nowhere, and all of Manhattan escaped, following Katherine to Brooklyn’s latest hideout. Spot was willing to let them stay until they found a new place of their own. After all, they were on the same side.

Only after she’d helped Jack conjure replacement bedding and supplies for the stuff they hadn’t had time to save did Katherine sit down with Sarah off to the side and explain exactly what she could do.

“I have to write it in verse for it to happen,” she explained, “Rhymes. That’s why I didn’t notice I could do anything until I was 17.”

She explained that she’d pretended she didn’t have a power at all for almost a year, until her 2 closest friends found out and told her it was too dangerous and she had to run away before her parents found out, because they would inevitably find out if she stayed.

Remembering how her parents had told her and Davey to take Les and run for their own safety when she was 16, Sarah was inclined to agree. Powers had a tendency to come to light eventually, no matter how you tried to hide them.

Katherine was a real powerhouse. She was like Jack—Sarah was right—just slightly to the left. A creator. She had endless potential, and power like hers was bound to show through.

However, some powers were good for hiding, and Kenny and Blink had a place for Manhattan to move into within a week.

Sarah was surprised about how she... wasn’t excited about that, and she told Race as much, figuring he would understand. It was common knowledge, at least among the older kids in Manhattan, that he was closer with Brooklyn than any of them.

Plus, Sarah could see it. She could see the way his aura moved around a certain Brooklyn boy, trailing towards him and tangling pale blue with dark red, like all they wanted was to hold each other close.

It didn’t make her jealous at all, being able to see who was in love with who and that it was requited. It didn’t matter that powered people rarely lived past 21 and Sarah was 16 and unlike many of her friends, she hadn’t found anyone yet. She was happy for him that Race had that.

“I’d like to stay, yeah,” he admitted, “Brooklyn’s... part of my heart’s always gonna be here. But Manhattan’s my home. My family. ‘Sides, Jack and Crutchie needs my help runnin’ things.”

In the end, that conversation was completely unhelpful, because Race’s main reason for leaving was that he was one of the gang’s seconds. Sarah wasn’t a second. She wasn’t staying out of responsibility.

The only responsibility she really had was to Davey and Les, and... did they really need her?

“You wanna stay, don’t you?” Davey guessed randomly the day before Manhattan moved out of Brooklyn’s hideout, “Stay in Brooklyn.”

“With Katherine,” Les added.

This time, neither of them was teasing.

“I’m thinking about it,” Sarah admitted, “I’m not sure if I should.”

To her surprise, Davey shook his head quickly, “No, Sarah. If you wanna stay I think you should stay. Especially if the only thing you’d be coming with Manhattan for’d be me and Les.”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine without ya.”

“Thanks, Les.”

“I mean we’s got Jack, and Crutchie, and all the rest of Manhattan. You don’t have to worry ‘bout us, Sar. You wanna stay with Kat, so you should.”

Sarah was conflicted until the day they actually left, and though her bag was packed, same as the rest of them, she stood at the doorway of the hideout watching her friends leave in small groups to sneak to Manhattan’s new home for an unreasonable amount of time.

Fuck it. She knew where they were going. She could visit. Her brothers got more powerful every day, same as her. She and Les had survived just the two of them for a while before Davey broke out of jail and brought Jack and the gang into their lives. The boys had each other and Jack and the gang. They would be fine without her.

So Sarah stayed, and she was pretty sure Spot and the others knew why. If she didn’t know any better, she could swear the king of Brooklyn was a little jealous that she was free to. It was nice to get to know him better. They’d always gotten along well, but building a real friendship meant they found out how kickass of a pair they could really be.

She wasn’t sure if Katherine knew why she’d stayed. Her aura gave away nothing but surprise.

The only aura Sarah had trouble seeing was her own.

It was a periwinkle color when she cared to stretch her powers to see it, it had barely any glow, and it moved like a kind of fog, spreading out and weaving through others’ energies, a little bit of it always lingering around the people most important to her even more than others’ auras ever did.

Katherine’s aura was so bright that it was even harder than normal to perceive her own.

But no matter how she denied it to her friends and brothers... she could still see traces of periwinkle flickering around and tangling with the magenta.

“So, you decided to stay,” she noted, and Sarah gave up on trying to see what she was feeling about that, because Katherine’s aura had the contained energy of a creator. Like Jack, it was hard to read her because her aura hardly moved at all.

“I did,” Sarah responded, trying to gauge her reaction the old fashioned way; through her face.

Unfortunately, the difference between the two creators was that Jack wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions in his eyes, and Katherine, of course, was making things difficult. As usual.

“You’re not going to ask me why?” she asked after a couple seconds of silence.

“It’s because we make such a good team, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s because we all know Spot and I would be the ultimate power friendship.”

Katherine laughed, “I can tell you’re kidding, but you’re not wrong.”

Sarah was strongly considering making some clever remark again, but after thinking about it in the loaded silence for a couple seconds...

“What would you say if it was something like that? Us being a good team.”

She definitely wasn’t holding her breath while she waited for her response.

“I’d say we are pretty kickass together,” Katherine answered, “Maybe even more than you and Spot.”

Sarah was obvious about it intentionally when she gave her a once-over, and she saw Katherine smirk mischievously.

“Definitely more than me and Spot.”

“I think I’m gonna like you sticking around.”

Sarah wasn’t sure who moved first, but they both lunged for each other within the space of a couple seconds, hands tangling in hair and lips meeting as a few months worth of tension released with one kiss.

Albert, Jojo, Davey and Les were going to be so annoying when they found out they were right.

Still, Sarah grinned as they pulled apart, “I think I’m gonna like me sticking around, too.”

[officially-multi-fandom]

//Absolutely Smitten//

Pairings: Tim Murphy x fem!Reader Warnings: pining, bad writing, a lot of time jumps. Abbreviations: Y/N – your name Song this fic is based on : Absolutely Smitten by Dodie Clark

Thank you to @drtimmurphy for making me love this character so much. She’s amazing, go check her out if you haven’t already!

Just a heads up, this is based on how @drtimmurphy has portrayed how Tim would be  Enjoy! ________________________________________________________________

You sigh, putting the last of the boxes down in your brand new apartment, taking in the mess in front of you.

After a long day of travelling, trying to guide the movers to your new place and putting the boxes and furniture in their respective rooms, you were tired. Utterly burned out, and all you wanted to do was eat, take a warm shower and sleep peacefully.

You did the first thing on your list quite effortlessly, ordering take out and quickly gobbling it up. But the last two things ? Yeah, let’s just say you weren’t that lucky.

You stepped into the shower, ready for a hot shower. You tried to turn the knobs, but they were jammed and won’t move. You used your entire body weight trying to make the knob budge, and when it finally did, the shower head came tumbling down, as did some really cold water. You yelped and quickly got out of the way, now desperately trying to stop the ferocious stream of water pooling below. It did, soon enough, but you were left with a mess you had to clean. You tried to fix the shower head by screwing it back on, but the excessive amount of dirt made that impossible, too. You sighed, thinking maybe you just needed some rest and then you could fix your problems in the morning. But sleep didn’t come that easy. Your air mattress left you sore and sleepless till late at night.

At least tomorrow could be better. ________________________________________________________________

Your day started with the birds singing loudly and the sun shining brightly into your face. You squinted, trying to check the time on your phone.

9 a.m, Sunday.

You quickly got up and stretched, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable sleep. Preparing for the long day of unpacking ahead, you decided to buy some coffee and breakfast. You quickly got dressed and put on some perfume, trying to mask the fact that you couldn’t take a shower.

You made sure you had your wallet and phone with you, and stepped out of your house, locking the door. Looking in front of you, you saw a man doing the same. Probably your neighbor.

He turned around, and you both made eye contact. You smiled, offering your hand f0r an introduction. “Hi, I’m Y/N! I just moved in here yesterday.” You said.

He smiled back at you, making your stomach fill up with butterflies. He took your hand, shaking it. “I’m Tim Murphy, your new neighbor.” He said. His hand felt rough but warm, and couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he pulled away.

You repeated his name, nodding. It suited him. “If you need any help around here, I’m always open to help. Please don’t hesitate if you want anything” he said, his smile never leaving his face.

You thought about his offer. “actually, do you know any plumbers? My, uh.. my shower broke last night and I couldn’t fix it..��� you said nervously.

“Oh yeah sure, there’s actually a list of helpers that work around the complex. I can guide it to you if you want.” He said “Oh no, it’s okay, I don’t want to bother you. I’m sure you have other things to do,” you said. “Don’t worry, you’re not bothering me, I’m always happy to help. I-I can show you around if you don’t mind. Only if you don’t have to work or anything,”

“I actually don’t have anything much to do. I’d rather make myself familiar with the neighborhood than immediately start unpacking.”

He smiled as he led you down the stairs. ________________________________________________________________

“Is this alright?” Tim asked, arranging your closet.

  Right after taking a trip around the neighborhood, Tim had selflessly asked if you needed any help unpacking. After a lot of reluctance, you finally said yes, and that’s what you were doing for the last 5 hours, only stopping to eat lunch.

You looked at where he was. “yep, that’s perfect.” You said. Tim looked rather proud of himself.

The only thing left to do now was the kitchen, but you weren’t worried about that too much. Everything had been finished, thanks to Tim’s help.

You both collapsed on the couch, exhausted.

“Do you want to order some pizza? I’ll pay for it as a thank you,” you asked him.

He looked over at the clock as his widened.

“Oh, no. I had to go to the vet today.” He said, quickly scrambling to get up from the couch.

You had gone over to his house, after him claiming that it would give you an idea of the layout of your apartment. You met his cats there, three beautiful cats that warmed up to you quite quickly, purring at your feet.

 “What time were you supposed to go?” you asked.

“I was supposed to go at six-thirty” he replied, sliding his shoes on.

“oh, no. I’m sorry I kept you here, I-”

“No, no, It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” He smiled, making your heart race. stop it, you told yourself.

 “Okay, then. I’ll see you around?” you asked him, hoping you would see him again. You wanted to be around him.

“Yeah, absolutely. Well, I gotta go now. Bye.” He said waving to you as he stepped out the house.

“Bye,” you said, hardly being able to keep the smile off of your face.

 You closed the door, taking in everything that had just happened. You couldn’t fight the feelings that were now rapidly growing. Besides, what was it in him that you couldn’t like? He had an amazing personality, though a little awkward. It wasn’t your fault, honestly.

 It made you want to dance around the room, he made you want to. You tried not to act on these feelings all day, you didn’t want to ruin a budding friendship. Besides, there’s no way he’d like you back. Heck, he might even have a girlfriend. But even if he didn’t, you didn’t want to risk it.

All you knew was that you were definitely never letting him go. ________________________________________________________________

The next time you saw him was when you invited him over for dinner on Friday.

“It’ll be like a compensation,” you tried to convince him when he denied your offer. “as a thank you, for all your help. Please?”

He, of course, couldn’t say no.

So he came by that evening. You made some lasagna as you two talked about your lives.

You tried not to stare. You tried so hard. But, your eyes would always be drawn to his hazel ones. His eyes that seemed to take in everything you were saying, and embarrassingly met yours at the same time, making your face heat up. His auburn hair that seemed a tad bit lighter under the lighting, and his hands, that were gesturing wildly whenever he was talking.

It made you want to yell. It made you want to tell everybody that this person made you so happy, that you were completely enamoured by him.

He talked about his life and his career so passionately, it made you want to melt on the spot. He was spewing random knowledge and facts, about anything, really, and it made your heart skip a beat.

The gap in his teeth would show whenever he genuinely laughed or smiled so widely that the sun would be jealous.

“Earth to Y/N?” Tim said, finally snapping you off of your reverie.

“Oh, sorry, kinda zoned out there.” You said.

His shoulders sank a bit, making you regret everything you said immediately. “Oh, no, it’s not you! I just have a habit to zone out. I was listening, I swear. You were talking about your niece, right? Oh, god I’m so sorry, Tim, I really-”

“It’s okay, honestly. There’s nothing to be sorry about, don’t worry.” He smiled, melting all of your worries away.

“Go on, continue.” you urged him.

  The night ended with him taking a leave, claiming that he had to get up early the next day. He offered you dinner on Sunday , but you had to decline, since you had a lot of work piling up that needed to get done.

You both had giant smiles on your faces, as Tim stepped out of your house.

“We’ll see each other around then?” you asked. “A-absolutely.” He nodded, smiling. He sounded nervous, but that could just be your imagination.

Closing the door, you closed your eyes and rested you head against the door.

Your heart was beating so fast that you could hardly breathe, but in a good way. You smiled to yourself. You knew that he probably wouldn’t feel the same way, but for now, you were happy.

You knew your friendship would escalate from here. You knew that the growing feeling in your heart would probably ruin it, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to rush things. You didn’t want to make things messy.

So you’d wait. You’d wait until something happened, and it would be okay if nothing ever did. You’d trust the fates. But one thing was for sure.

You’re never letting him go. ________________________________________________________________

You started to see each other more and more, in the hallways, sometimes making plans about catching a movie or watching a new show. You’d follow up to those offers, and your feelings didn’t reduce. If anything, they only grew.

But you couldn’t hold any high hopes. You tried not to give any hints or clues, and for the most part, you seemed to be succeeding.

There were days when you thought that maybe, just maybe, he thought of you the same way.

Sometimes, he would smile at the sight of you petting his cats while watching a movie. Sometimes, he would look at you in a way that made you want to burst, but again, that could be your imagination.

Your phone buzzed on the kitchen counter, alerting you about a message.

Hey Are you free?

Dino boy, 5:00 pm

                                                                                               Yep, what’s up? 

                                                                                                  You, 5:01 pm

A few minutes later, there were three knocks on the front door.

“Come in!” you called out, busying yourself in the kitchen, making tea for the two of you.

“Hey” he said. You could hear the nervousness in his voice.

You turned around, brows furrowed. “what’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked

He seemed surprised. “Um, yeah I’m fine. I just, um, I wanted to ask you something”

Oh no. He knows.

You tried not to show your own nervousness as you asked, “Go ahead.”

“Well, actually, the museum is having a charity event next Saturday, an-and well, I wanted to ask you if you would want to come? I mean, there’s free drinks, and yo-you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I understand if you’re busy.” He says.

You took a second to process the information he just gave you, hundreds of questions filling in your head.

Does he want to go with you as a date? A plus one? A friend? More than that?

“Yeah, sure” you said, pushing all the thoughts away.

“Wait, really?” his eyes light up, and it made all of your doubts go away. You wondered how you could see that smile for free.

“Yes.” You said, mainly trying convince yourself that this might be a good idea.

He smiled, “Well, that’s great, then! Uh, just wear something nice. N-not that you won’t look good in normal clothes- I’m sorry,”

You smiled, shaking your head, telling him it was okay. “Tea?”

_______________________________________________________________

You spent the whole week looking for the perfect dress that would not only fit you, but also be appropriate for this event. Finally, you had found the perfect one. It was a dark blue dress with a subtle deep V-neck neckline. The bodice looked like it was tucked into the belt right above your hips. The skirt ended at your knees, with a few sequins near the end of it that looked like stars in the night sky. You were sure Tim would like it.

The day of the event had come, and you spent the afternoon getting ready. You were almost done when you heard the notification bell on your phone.

Hey, are you ready?

Dino boy, 5:32 pm.

                                                                                                              Almost                                                                                      Do you need any help?

                                                                                                  You, 5:32 pm.

Yes please

Dino boy, 5:33 pm.

                                                                                                             Sure :)

                                                                                                You, 5:33 pm.

You put the finishing touches on your makeup, taking a look at yourself in the mirror before leaving. You smiled. You were dressed to impress and you were pretty sure Tim would be impressed as well.

You quickly crossed the hall and knocked on Tim’s door thrice.

He opened the door, looking rather frazzled. His hair was messy, it looked as though he combed his hand through his hair one too many times. He was wearing his glasses, something you didn’t even know he had. He was wearing a thin white shirt, the first two buttons of the shirt undone. It made your face flush.

“W-wow. You look…great.” Tim whispered. You face felt like it was on fire.

“I think I could say the same to you after we’ve sorted everything out,” you smiled, trying to calm down your nerves.

He laughed softly, and it was like music to your ears. _______________________________________________________________

You reached the venue a little late, but no one seemed to notice. Everybody was engaged in their own conversation, and it was quiet easy to take a drink and blend in.

You and Tim chatted for a bit, before one of Tim’s colleague (and friend, as Tim said) came to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Jerry, and you must be,” he looked at Tim with an evil glint in his eye, “Tim’s girlfriend? He talks a lot about you.”

You fell silent for a moment, while Tim choked on his drink. You thought you couldn’t get more flustered, but somehow, you did. You looked at Tim, who looked as red as a tomato, but you didn’t know if it was from all the coughing or from the situation. He stuttered something, but it was barely audible.

“uh, I’m not his-” you started, but Jerry laughed hysterically. A rush of relief flooded through you. In another world, you’d probably laugh at it too, but you couldn’t. You were frozen.

Jerry talked some more, but you weren’t really paying attention. You could tell Tim wasn’t either. Eventually, Jerry left, claiming he need to go to the bathroom.

Tim looked at you guiltily, “I-I’m so sorry, Y/N, that was completely unlike him, I-I swear I’ll make it up to you.” he looked at anywhere but you, his hands getting fidgety at his sides.

“No, no, Tim, it’s okay. I’m sure it was just a joke. You don’t have to make it up to me.” you replied.

“I’m still really sorry, Y/N”

You smiled at him reassuringly. “It’s okay, Tim. Really.”

The rest of the evening went by without many hiccups. Of course people confused you two as a couple, but you would just share a nervous glance with Tim and tell them you weren’t.

After a while though, you grew tired of the confusion people would have, so you didn’t correct them. You couldn’t lie and tell yourself you didn’t want to be confused as his girlfriend.

Tim noticed that you’d stopped correcting people.

  “You want to get out of here?” Tim asked, a slight smirk on his face.

“Yes please” you said, your own mouth twitching upwards.

Tim had been busy talking to some people, having  conversations you couldn’t quiet understand. Plus, it was not a good night to wear heels.

You tried to pay attention, but you couldn’t. Tim noticed it, of course, and being the gentleman he is, offered to get some food from a drive through.

“The food here isn’t that good, anyway.” He reasoned.

After Tim came up with some lame excuses to his friends, you two quickly made an escape to his car. Soon, you were on the road.

His smile was contagious. You found yourself smiling back at him and bobbing your head to the music. You felt the cold night air rush past you from the window, and you shivered. You felt happy with him. You always felt happy with him.

You looked at him, his finger tapping the steering wheel at the beat. He was mouthing the words from the song, and his hair ruffled from the wind. You shivered again, but this time not because of the wind.

You had it bad.

But you also didn’t know how to go about it. No one had ever made you feel like this. You had asked your friend, but she only replied with “just ask him out”, and teasing you about it.

And it wasn’t only about his looks. He was dorky, stupidly sweet, and would actually listen when you’d talk. He went out of his way to make sure you were comfortable. There was never a moment where you felt bored around him. He had you wrapped around his finger without even knowing about it.

You wondered if he thought about you the same way.

  Before you knew it, you had finished your food in the car, and were almost about to reach home. You were laughing at something he had said and you didn’t realize how much time you had spent until you checked your phone. It didn’t feel like it had been 3 hours, but somehow it had.

“So, I, uh, I guess this is it?” Tim said. You were walking down the hall with your heels in you hands, trying to fish your keys out from your purse with only one hand.

“I mean, we will see each other around right?” you asked.

“Y-Yeah, of course!” his voice sounded squeaky, but you didn’t question it.

Finally finding you keys, you looked at him carefully. He looked tired, sure, but he had a small smile on his face.  

You wanted to be there for a few more moments, just studying his features. He looked at you with a soft look, and you swear you melted into a puddle.

You smiled gently, and dropped your shoes to the ground. Cupping his cheek, you inched just a bit closer to him.

You didn’t want to leave it up to the fates anymore. It was taking too long. You couldn’t keep waiting and wonder. You had to do something.

You hoped you weren’t overstepping, but if you were, he didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t push away, he didn’t have a disgusted look on his face.

His breath hitched. You felt his hand on your hip, pulling you just a little bit closer. With your noses brushing and foreheads touching, you decided to close the space between you.

The kiss was just like him. Sweet and gentle, yet passionate. You pulled away, breathing heavily. You didn’t open your eyes, but you knew he was smiling, and you were too.

You foreheads were still touching, and one of his hands was on you cheek. You opened your eyes.

“I-I really like you,” he whispered. The soft look he was giving you earlier was nothing like this. All the moments you shared earlier, all the times you were left questioning if he like you too, were nothing like this.

You smiled, “I really like you too.”

“I guess this means I have to ask you about a date?” he asked hopefully.

“I’ll go wherever you take me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well that wasn’t as good as I was hoping for it to be

I’m sorry

Requests are open, so feel free to ask!

~ Izzy

[kentsjohnson91]

𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐗

in which jj and y/n have a little fun while john b is gone, and for the first time, they are each other’s good night.

pairing: jj maybank x reader

warnings; mentions of sex and hook ups, underage drinking, drugs, a little smut (making out and neck kisses)

@jjtheangel came up with this amazing plot! if you don’t already, go follow her, she’s amazing!!

“John B. wins this round! Sorry, Y/N.” JJ announced, his voice dripping with slight sarcasm. You rolled your eyes, slightly annoyed with the blond boy who was sitting to your right. John B. ruffled your hair as JJ handed him the black card in his hand.

You and the two boys were all sitting on the living room floor of the château, a number of ‘Cards Against Humanity’ cards sprawled across the floor. John B picked up another card from the pile, laughing slightly before reading the words on it, “I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for...”

John B. watched in amusement as he saw you and JJ going through your separate piles of cards, attempting to find a good answer. You scrambled to put down your card first, and JJ put his down a few seconds later.

“Okay,” John B. started, “I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for... consent.” he raised his eyebrows, contuining to speak as he overturned the other card, “I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for... a bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.”

“Damn, that one hurt,” John B. fake gasped, placing his hand jokingly on his heart, “but I can only imagine that the ‘consent’ card is JJ’s, so the interaction card wins.”

You threw your arms up in the air and cheered, wrapping your arms around John B’s neck. Turning to JJ, you said, “Better luck next time, pal.”

He smirked, and chugged the rest of his beer. Suddenly, the boy on your left stood up, heading to his bedroom and coming back shortly after with a hoodie, “Hey, I promised I’d hang out with Sarah tonight. I’ll most likely be out for awhile. Will you guys be okay if I go?”

You stuck your bottom lip out and fake pouted, “Do you have to go? I don’t want to be stuck here with this idiot for the rest of the night!” you exclaimed, almost immediately regretting it as JJ wrapped his arm around your neck and placed you into a headlock.

John B. chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Yes, Y/N. I have to go.”

You finally managed to untangle yourself from JJ’s headlock, moving your hair out of your face. John B. was about to run out the door, but before he could, you shouted, “Be safe!”

He turned back and yelled, “Use protection!” before the door of the château slammed shut.

“Shut up, smartass!” JJ yelled out, but you doubt his best friend could hear him. You laughed quietly, stood up, and rushed out to the porch to grab two more beers, one for you and the other for the stupid blond boy you would have to spend the night with. Once you got inside, you handed him the cold beer and smacked him across the head for no specific reason. You had earned the privilege of doing that for being one of his best friends since the third grade.

“I fucking hate you sometimes! You know that?” he whispered, settling down on John B’s couch. You sat down and not a word was spoken for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up.

“Let’s watch a movie.” you suggested.

“Oh, yeah? What movie?” JJ replied.

You turned around and scanned over the movies John B. had stored on a shelf just below the TV, your eyes catching The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe from the Narnia series. You picked it up and raised your eyebrows as you showed it to JJ. He wasn’t impressed, and you turned back around to look for another movie when JJ’s voice cut through your ears.

“I have a better idea.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that, blondie?”

He smirked and held out his hand for you, signaling that he wanted you to get up. You took it and the two of you made your way to the porch, where JJ kept his bag. He pulled out rolling paper and some marijuana, turning back to face you. Getting high would be way better then watching some lame movie, but you pretended to think a bit before speaking up, “Let’s do it.”

A few minutes later, you two were sitting on the dock, looking out on the water, smoking the two joints. You two talked casually, speaking about going surfing tomorrow with John B, Kie and Pope, and some of the stars in the night sky.

About half an hour later, however, you really began to feel the effects of the marijuana that you and JJ were smoking. Whenever you got high, your personality would change drastically. Sober you was always sarcastic. You always had a witty remark or comeback ready. When you were high, however, you were always extremely happy and bubbly. You laughed at everything, even if it wasn’t funny in the slightest bit. Another thing that happened whenever you got high - you absolutely could not tell a lie.

JJ was stoned, too, but he stayed on the dock while you made your way up into the grass and kept spinning around as you looked up at the stars. You felt as though you were on top of the world. It was like nothing mattered. You laughed as you spotted a constellation, and randomly shouted, “I-It looks like a penis!”

JJ was enjoying watching you from the dock. You seemed so happy and free, like you didn’t have a care in the world. You seemed to forget everything for a moment. He got up from the dock, and made his way up to the grass to stop you from spinning around for a few minutes.

“JJ, no!” you laughed as you felt the boy’s hands on your waist. You didn’t want to stop, but he made you settle down and you both stumbled over to the hammock, hopping onto it from different sides.

A few minutes went by as the two of you just laid there in silence, enjoying the chilly air of the night. Suddenly you heard, “What do you want for your b-birthday?”

You thought for a second, “My birthday? Oh, yeah. My birthday.”

You rolled onto your side to face JJ, whose face was just mere inches away from your own. His icy blue eyes made you feel so relaxed, like you were swimming in the blue waves of the ocean. JJ looked at you, expecting an answer.

You laughed loudly, “What?”

JJ smiled, “Just tell me what you want for your birthday!”

“Okay, okay,” you laughed again, smiling as you focused back on his face, “I have a bet for you.”

“Enlighten me, m’lady.”

“I want to see how long you can go without fucking a random girl for my birthday.” you finished, your smile bright. “If I win... well, we’ll figure something out then.”

JJ smirked, “You just want me all to yourself, don’t you?” he joked, but he didn’t expect you to be serious.

And because high you could not possibly tell a lie, you spoke up with quite a bold statement, “Well, duh. JJ Maybank, you’re quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes. There’s nothing that I don’t find sexy about you. I’d kill just to have one night with you.”

JJ shoots up from his position, and even in your dazed state, you knew that you fucked up the one chance you had to tell him. He’s not going to like you back; you’ve been one of his best friends for almost nine years, “Y/N, are you s-serious?”

You laid your head back down, focusing back on the stars, “I guess now isn’t the right time to say that I love you, is it?”

“No, right now’s the perfect time to tell me that.” JJ leaned over you, kissing you passionately on the lips. He was about to take off your shirt, before you muttered something.

“Not here, JJ. Inside.” you whispered, and JJ got off the hammock and nodded. You sat up, and JJ came around to your side. He tapped his thighs, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to the porch of the château. As you guys made your way inside, JJ stumbled past the kitchen and the living room, carrying you into the first room down the hall. Too caught up with what was going on, you didn’t recognize any of it’s surroundings as JJ places you onto a bed. Shortly after, he began to take off his shirt and then yours, slowing kissing your neck and leaving multiple marks.

Let’s just say that you two had a wild night.

The next morning, you woke up to realize that JJ was asleep next to you. You were confused at first, and then the events of last night came flooding back to you. It was not a bad night in any way.

You groaned and rolled over to check your phone, where you noticed a text from John B. at 2:46 AM. I’m staying at Sarah’s for the night. I’ll be home at around 9:00.

It was almost 7:30, so you decided to wake JJ.

“JJ?” you kissed his cheek, hoping that it would wake him up a bit.

“I’m up, Y/N. I’m up,” he rolled over to face you, “Good morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning, blondie.” you smiled.

“Do I have permission to say something?” JJ asked, smirking. You nodded. “The sex we had was the best sex that I’ve ever had.”

You just nodded in agreement, letting him kiss you again.

After awhile of just lying in bed, you and JJ decided to get ready before John B. would come home. JJ threw a t-shirt and some cargo shorts on, while you couldn’t figure out what to do. The hickeys JJ left on your neck were definitely prominent, and you didn’t bring any makeup with you last night. Finally, you decided to just change into an oversized t-shirt, some shorts, and one of John B’s sweatshirts. You could make up an excuse.

You exited the bathroom as JJ waited for you on the bed. You smiled and nodded at him to go get some breakfast, but before he was completely out of the room you spoke up, “JJ?”

He turned around quickly, “Yeah?”

“Let’s maybe not tell John B that we fucked in his bed?”

“Good idea.”

[mylovelyfandoms]

It’s you (Choi Seungcheol)

Seventeen Dystopian Au

Masterlist

Request: Hi! I love your writing so much! This is a great Idea so don’t give up on it! Anyway I wanted to request a Scoups x reader where the reader is a moon who’s mom used to work at the facility but when she found out that Y/n was a moon she left but one of her colleagues found out and raided her home and killed her mom so she came to the facility and she meets Seungcheol because their often tested together? Thank you so much!

A/N: Uh...hi...and I’m sorry. This took months and I am so so sorry about that. School started and my AP classes did not seem to like letting me sleep. I could make a part 2 of this if someone asked, I do have ideas, but it might take a while...sorry. 

Warnings: Talks about torture, kind of angsty

Word Count: 6,789

***

When you were three, your father’s life was taken in front of your eyes.

It was dinnertime and your father was feeding you in all the ways he could think of; the airplane, the choo choo train, etc. Everything was disrupted when a sudden scream sounded from outside your home. Your father, being a trained soldier, gave your mom a look and kissed her temple before running out the front door. Your mom ran to the door and you followed suit, hopping off your chair and curiously looking at whatever it was that made such a noise.

In the middle of the streets was a kid that was much older than you. She was surrounded by some soldiers in uniform, and some people, like your father, without. Her hands were up and her eyes were wide, head snapping around as she glanced at all of the soldiers.

The next thing you saw was your father running towards the girl, only for her to turn and shoot a flame out of her palms at him. Your mother let out a shriek and fell to her knees, pulling you to face away from the events happening outside of your home. As she cried into your shoulder and held you tight, you turned your head back only to see the child being dragged away by multiple soldiers.

Your mother, being the strong woman she was, never let you know that she was upset about it after that day. Instead, she decided to honor his legacy and sign up to be a soldier just like him. She wanted to make sure that nothing like that happened to anyone ever again. Your mom finished her training and officially became a soldier when you turned five years old.

Since you were born, you were the best kid (or so your mother told you). You were always well behaved, you never threw a tantrum, you were always polite and asked for what you wanted rather than demanded. That was probably how you managed to hide your abilities for so long...

It had been a long day for a seven year old. Your teacher had assigned you two whole pages of addition and subtraction, you tripped during playtime, and you missed your favorite show on TV. So that only meant that you were especially grumpy towards the pre-teen babysitter that your mom hired to look after you.

“Get back here you little brat!” The prepubescent boy exclaimed, chasing you around the living room.

“Never!” You shouted back, running towards the front door.

It was a hard day and all you wanted was a warm hug from your mom. You knew that it was nearing twilight, meaning your mom was almost home. Maybe you could find her as she was driving home.

But then the oily-pimple-faced-voice-cracking boy managed to catch up to you and picked you up. You started kicking and screaming, doing whatever you could to have the boy let go.

“Calm down you weasel!”

You were so frustrated that you shouted as loud as you could, “Let go of me!” Your babysitter’s arms went limp around you, dropping you to the floor. “Hey! You-” When you looked up, you saw the boy’s eyes become a beautiful electric pink. You were only snapped out of your amazement when the pink faded, and the boy’s eyes rolled back before he fell to the floor.

“Y/n?” Your mother’s voice called tentatively from the door. She seemed to have stopped in her tracks, eyes wide as she stared at the unconscious boy.

“Mom!” You ran to your mother, burying your face into her shirt. Your eyes were brimming with tears as memories of your father that one fateful day flashed through your mind. You had just killed a person! You were just as bad as the kid that had a meltdown! “Mommy I’m scared!”

“Sh, sh, sh,” Your mom soothed. “It’s okay, y/n you didn’t do anything. It’s okay, he’s just sleeping.”

After calming you down, your mother brought you into your room and told you to stay put. You sniffed the snot that threatened to run down your nose and listened to her, too scared to do anything else.

The next day, you woke up to the sound of rustling all around your room. You saw your mom frantically packing your clothes into a duffel bag. Sleepily rubbing your eyes, you looked to the clock and saw that it was 5 am, long before you were supposed to get ready for school.

“Mom? What are you doing?” You asked.

“We have to go, sweetie. Pack only the things that you absolutely need, okay?” Your mom replied in a voice more serious than you’ve ever heard before. She turned back into your closet and started packing some pants.

“Why?” You were starting to tear up. You didn’t want to leave your life at home. All of your friends were here, all of your toys were here...you couldn’t go.

Your mom, seeming to sense your tears with her motherly instincts, turned around and held your face.

“You’ll understand when you’re older, sweetheart. I’ll explain everything to you when I know you’ll understand, but right now, it’s not safe here. We have to go, okay?”

“Mommy you’re scaring me,” You admitted, hiccuping as your mom pulled you into a hug.

“I know, I know. It’s okay, sweetie. Just pack your things, we’re going to leave in a couple of hours. I have to go to work for a little bit, but I’ll be right back.”

“Okay mommy.”

You continued to pack your things, looking for everything important you could think of. Your mom left the house after she made you some breakfast and promised that she’d be right back.

It had been a while since your mom made that promise and you were starting to get scared. Tears started building up in your eyes and you ran back up to your room. You decided to listen to what your mom said and continue packing. You ran through all of your favorite items in your head until one suddenly came to your mind. Your dad’s necklace!

You scurried over to the pink and blue jewelry box you had right by the window and opened the first little drawer. You were about to pull out the dog tag necklace-that all soldiers get when they complete their training-when you heard the door open. Dropping the necklace, you ran out of your room and saw your mom looking through the peephole of your closed door. There was something about her that looked more panicked than she was before.

“Wha-”

“We have to go now.”

Quickly, your mom ran upstairs and grabbed all of the bags before dragging you out the bag door by your wrist. The two of you were in your backyard, making your way towards the gate. You turned to send one last look at your house, but upon seeing the pink and blue decoration on the side of the wall, you remembered your necklace.

“Wait, mommy! We have to get my necklace! I have to go get it!” You cried, pulling on your wrist in her grip.

“What? No, sweetheart, we don’t have time.”

“But it was dad’s necklace!”

Your mother stopped pulling you. She stood frozen for a moment before letting out a sigh and crouching down in front of you.

“Stay right here for me, okay? I’ll get the necklace for you, but I need you to hide. Make sure no one can see you, okay?” Your mother instructed.

You nodded your head and turned to hide inside of a bush. Though you were out of view, you could see your room’s window through the spaces of the leaves. You saw your mom approach the window, knowing exactly where you kept the necklace.

Just as she was pulling out the necklace, she whirled around in a panic. Your heart started to race in fear and at this point, you didn’t care about hiding. It seemed as if she was talking to someone, but you couldn’t see who. Her hands started to shakily raise, as if she was bringing them up to surrender.

You didn’t know what was said, you didn’t know what happened, and you weren’t sure if you ever would. One moment, everything seemed fine, but then BANG! You immediately fell to the floor as if you were hit, but not before missing the blood that splattered all over the window you had stared out of so many times before.

Almost as quickly as you went down, you scrambled back to your feet and looked at the window, as if hoping that what you saw wasn’t true. When you saw the body of your mother slumped back against the window, you let out a shriek of misery and dropped to your knees.

Everything hurt. Sure, you weren’t physically in pain, but everything else was. It was worse than what you felt when your father died. Because this time, you understood what was happening. This time, you knew you knew that she was never coming back. This time, you knew that you were truly alone.

You didn’t even notice when a group of soldiers picked you up and brought you to the transport truck. It might’ve been a couple of minutes or hours or even days until you stopped crying. The truck was still going, so you sat there in the darkness, staring off into the vast space.

When you finally arrived at the facility, you were numb. You were too tired to feel anything. They brought you into the lab and you complied with all of the tests, not exactly registering that this was reality. They then gave you your first pair of dark glasses and shoved you into a small, empty room.  

From that day on, you were no longer your own person. You were an experiment. You were an object under a microscope that they poked and prodded at. You were nothing.

For half a year, you had nothing to hold onto. You had no one that could possibly fill the gaping void that your mother had left behind. You weren’t anything to anyone.

But then...

One day as you walked into your experimenting room, there were two soldiers per usual, but one of them seemed to be a lot smaller than the other. Through your dark glasses, you kept your gaze on the smaller one, wondering where they got a child or a...midget? to be one of the soldiers guarding you. You could have sworn you’ve never seen a soldier that small before.

“Head!” The scientist barked, having you snap your head forward and stay as still as you can get.

She started to go about with her experiment. A needle was poked into your arm to take blood and a knife scraped at the skin on your shoulder. You weren’t exactly sure what the scientist did with samples like these, but you weren’t dumb enough to ask.

When she was done, she nodded to the soldiers before leaving the room. As subtle as you could, you turned your head to get another glance at the strange, smaller soldier. With the helmet on, you couldn’t tell if he was looking at you back.

You saw him again for the next couple of days. Every time you looked at him, you could have sworn he was looking at you too. With any other soldier, you would have felt at least a little creeped out, but with this one...you were just curious. Who exactly was it behind that helmet? 

One day, as you entered the testing room, you saw that there was a small child sitting in the chair across from yours. They couldn’t have been any older than 4 or 5. You looked to the side of the room and saw the shorter soldier standing with one of the usual ones. Tentatively, you sat in your seat. 

“Hello,” You said to the small child, careful not to speak in a full sentence like the soldiers had yelled at you for doing before. 

“Hi!” The small child cheered.

 “Quiet!” The normal soldier barked, having you shut up and stare at your hands. 

The scientist walked in, shutting the door with a loud bang that had you jumping in your chair. Your heart raced at the loud noise, but you reminded yourself that you were...not exactly safe but not in imminent danger at the moment. 

“Take your glasses off,” The scientist demanded. 

You immediately followed instructions, blinking a couple of times to adjust to the light. The small child gasped and stared with its mouth agape, no doubt at your eyes that had apparently turned a glowing pink when you used your compelling powers for the first time. 

“Take this,” The scientist barked, shoving a lighter into the small child’s chubby hands. The scientist then turned to you and you could have sworn that you saw some sort of smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Now. Command the child to light the flame on his arm.” 

You whipped your head to the scientist in absolute disbelief. 

She couldn’t be serious.

“But-” 

“Did I say talk back or did I give you a command?” The scientist sneered. 

With fear of what she would do, you turned towards the small child, guilt already hovering over your body. 

“B...” You said in a shaky tone, heart sinking to your stomach when you saw the child look at you with innocent doe eyes. “Burn....” Your voice cracked and you felt a lump in your throat. 

“Do it now!” The scientist shrieked

“Burn your arm!” You commanded in a panic. 

The child stiffened and his eyes lit an electric pink. You watched in sheer horror as he lit the match and brought the flame down to his forearm. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but there was something about his reaction-or lack, thereof-that nearly sent you over the edge. 

The child held the flame on his arm for a second longer, the smell of burning flesh spreading around the room, and wisps of smoke rising from the spot on the boy’s arm. Suddenly, as if a switch had clicked, the boys’ eyes rolled back and his body went limp, much like the preteen boy in your house. 

You dug your nails into your hand, trying to focus on that pain rather than the tears that brimmed at your eyes. Who knew what she’d do if you cried. 

Just as the scientist was about to speak, the door slid open. 

“Hey, there’s a new cloud coming in. All hands on deck,” The soldier said. 

“But ma’am, she is a moo-” 

“Captain’s Orders,” The soldier demanded before leaving the entrance of the doorway. 

The soldier that was just cut off glanced at the scientist as if waiting for permission to move. 

The scientist glanced at the shorter soldier. “You, make sure she doesn’t move. Use any force necessary.” 

You waited until both of their footsteps faded before your emotions broke through. You knew there was still the smaller soldier, but it was better than whatever the scientist would do.

You glanced at the child limp in the seat in front of you and brought your hands to your mouth to stifle your sobs. Your entire body was trembling and you couldn’t breathe. The soldier rushed to you, and you trained your eyes on your lap, knowing exactly what they were about to do. Or at least, you thought you did. 

The soldier crouched down in front of you and slowly took off his helmet. He brought a hand up to yours and gently brought it down from your face. 

“Hey,” He said in a comforting tone, only to have you choke out another sob. 

Almost instinctively, the short soldier reached forward and wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. You didn’t care that he was a soldier at this moment. He was someone who’s comfort you craved for reasons you didn’t know. 

When you were calmer, you let go of him and trained your eyes on your lap again. 

“Th-thanks,” You stammered quietly. 

“Not a problem,” He replied gently. 

His gloved hand reached up to your chin and tilted you face up. Your breath caught in your throat with a trained fear. You were taught in all these months that making eye contact with any of the soldiers or scientists would result in a torturous pain. It was something you had to endure once, and never wanted to do again. 

But against your better judgement, you let yourself look up.

The soldier in front of you wasn’t some midget or strangely small adult, he was a kid just like you. He looked around your age, maybe a year or two older. He had kind eyes and a small, comforting smile playing on his lips. The small part of you that wasn’t completely dehumanized by the facility almost melted at the look he gave you. 

“Are you okay?” The boy asked with genuine concern in his eyes, something you haven’t seen in a long long time. 

“I...” Your tone was shaky, and you averted your eyes back to your lap. “I’m fine.” 

“No you’re not,” The boy sighed. “And that’s okay, this place has a tendency of doing that.” You nodded slightly, not exactly knowing what to say. After a beat of silence, he spoke up again. “I’m...” You looked up at him again but this time, his eyes were on the floor. “I’m Seungcheol.”

“Y/N,” You replied. 

Seungcheol smiled. “That’s a beautiful name.” 

Before you could reply, you snapped your heads towards the hallway where you heard footsteps coming closer and closer. Seungcheol stood up instantly and pulled his helmet on. 

“Hang in there, Y/N.”

You didn’t see Seungcheol again for the next couple of days. Though you had only met him once, you were starting to get worried. What if something had happened to him? What if they heard you two talking? What if that was the last time you’d ever see him?

All those thoughts melted away when you caught his eye in the hallway as you walked to the testing room. This time, he didn’t have his helmet on or any of the gear that made him look like a soldier; he was in scrubs just like you, just a different color. 

You both kept your gazes locked as you were led to rooms right next to each other. Right before you stepped into the room, Seungcheol offered you a small smile and a wink. 

Time passed by and more often than not, you saw him. Whether it was because he was in your room as a soldier, or right next to you going to tests, or even sometimes when the scientist put you two in a room together to get tested, you got to see him. 

One day, you didn’t see him at all. Sure that wasn’t too strange, but it was what happened the day after that started to worry you.

It might not have been too much of a sign, but when you saw Seungcheol out in the hallway, he didn’t look at you. His eyes were trained on the floor and he wore the most grim expression you’ve ever seen on him. 

As you stepped into the testing room, his face was all you could think of. What could have possibly made him act that way? 

So you, being the oh so curious one you are, you started making a plan. Sure it was incredibly risky, probably the riskiest thing you’ve ever thought of doing, but what else could they do to you? 

That night was probably the first time you’ve ever used your power at the facility when you weren’t supposed to. You told yourself that it was worth it, it was for Seungcheol. 

You walked up to the soldier outside your door and demanded that he took you to Seungcheol’s room. Your heart basically stopped when you saw two security guards standing outside in the hallway. 

“Hey!” One of the soldiers barked, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

It was over. It had to be, right? You were caught. The other soldiers would most likely catch on and you would be dead, or worse. Maybe you could request that they tell Seungcheol you lo-

“New orders from the scientist. She wants them in the same room for an experiment tonight.” 

Maybe you weren’t dead after all. 

The soldiers exchanged a look and then glanced back at you and the soldier under your control. 

“I think we should call the scientist.” 

“Yeah, just to make sure...she is a moon you know.” 

“Come on, guys, you know me, there’s no way I’m the type to get mind controlled by some affected.”

The two exchanged another look. 

“Then show us your eyes.” 

Your heart stopped again. You turned to the man standing next to you and watched as he unlatched his helmet. He took his helmet off, your pulse rising with each inch of skin that is revealed. 

“See, perfectly normal,” The soldier said once he took his helmet completely off. 

You weren’t sure how, but his eyes weren’t glowing pink, yet you knew he was still under your control. 

“Ah, my bad man,” The other soldiers said. “I should’ve known you would never get tricked by these monsters. I’ll get the sun to back up for you.” 

The soldiers walked down the hall a couple of steps and banged on the door. As they barked an order, you turned to look at the man under your control. He was staring straight ahead, a blank look on his face, as if nothing had happened. Slowly, he started to pull his helmet back on, but just before it was latched onto his head, you saw a small pink glow. 

“Alright, go ahead,” The soldiers said as they pressed the password into the keypad on the door. 

You walked in with the man under your control and let the door shut behind you two. Stepping in, you saw a room that was almost identical to yours. The only difference was that he had a small window high up on the wall. 

“Y/N?” Seungcheol hissed, standing up and rushing to you. He stopped about two feet away, carefully eyeing the soldier that was standing next to you. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll-”

Cutting you off was the thud of the soldier’s body as he fell unconscious to the floor. You glanced at him for a moment before looking back at Seungcheol with a gentle smile. 

“Hey, Cheol,” You said tenderly, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. Almost immediately, he wrapped his around your body and clung onto you as if you were the only thing keeping him alive. 

“You’re going to get caught,” he mumbled into your shoulder. 

“Don’t worry about that right now,” You said, pulling back from him and placing a hand on his cheek. “Now, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

Seungcheol sighed, and walked to the wall. He slouched down against it and you came by to sit with him. He then told you everything. How he had been guarding for this pair of clouds for a while. How one of them got in serious trouble so he thought, if anything, he could save the other. How he gave the boy a piece of his hair to shift and escape, only for the boy to get caught...

“They burned him, Y/N/N. The cloud told them that it was his fault so they burned his hands and made me watch...” He leaned his head back on the way and looked straight ahead. “I just...I can’t get his screams out of my head. It was all my fault.” 

“Cheol,” You said, placing a hand on his bicep, “you were trying to help. You had good intentions.” Your hand moved down his arm and on his hand. “This isn’t something you need to beat yourself up about.” 

“But I was the one that gave him my hair. I was the one that told him to go.” His fingers laced into yours almost like it was a habit. “If I didn’t, he would probably be fine. Or at least not in as much pain.” 

You brought your other hand to his cheek again and grazed your thumb along his cheekbone. His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a breath as if he had been holding it all this time. Seungcheol leaned into your touch and you gave his hand a squeeze. You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his, 

“Where is that moon?” 

You aren’t exactly sure if Seungcheol heard it or not. Maybe he did and he was just ignoring it. Or, maybe he didn’t and he was just too lost in the moment. 

Soldiers were outside the door. You could hear them. You knew you were going to get caught. The soldier on the floor was a dead giveaway that you had used your powers. 

“Cheol,” You said urgently, taking your hand away from his and wrapping your arms around his neck. You were halfway on his lap as he snaked his arms around your waist for one last embrace. “Cheol no matter what happens, no matter how long it is until we see each other...don’t beat yourself up for what these soldiers do. Keep trying to help people, okay? You have good intentions, do something about it.” 

“Y/N/N...”

You could hear the beeping from the keypad. 

“You’re an amazing person, Seungcheol.” You gave him one last squeeze and pushed him down to the floor. 

“What’re you-” 

“Hey!” One of the soldiers barked as they stomped into the room. You stood up, putting your hands in the air to show your surrender. Hopefully this way, Cheol will be safe...

“She tricked us, ma’am! She’s a master trickster, she’s probably been planning this for years!” One of the soldiers that you interacted with rambled on. 

“Quiet!” The head soldier barked. She marched up to you and grabbed a fist full of your shirt. “You’re going to regret using your powers, kid.” 

You never saw Seungcheol again. At least, not for the next few years of your life. They changed your schedule so that you two were never in the same place at the same time. You half convinced yourself that he was just gone. That the sun that all the soldiers gossiped about for being “tough” and “merciless” wasn’t your sun. 

That’s not my Cheol, you thought to yourself, Cheol is warm and sweet and caring...they’re talking about someone else.

At this point, you lost track of all the days. It was always the same; tests for half the day, then back to the room. You could barely even remember how old you were, all you knew was at one point you got taller, curvier, and blood started spilling out from places it should not have been spilling out. 

The more time that had passed, the more you learned to listen in on soldier’s conversations. At some point, they started talking about the sun and how he had ‘escaped.’ No way he escaped. This isn’t the type of place you can escape. And even if it was, he would’ve been back for you...right? 

The days went on, and the soldiers kept talking about all of the ‘escapees.’ You were eventually starting to believe them. What reason would they have to lie about the stories they told each other? So the question remained in your mind. Why didn’t Cheol come back for you? Did he forget about you? 

One night, while you were in your room, you heard a loud commotion outside. At first, you thought nothing of it, but then there was a thump! against your door. On the other side, you heard the beeping of the keypad and the muttering of a mad man. 

Any other person might have been scared. They might have been pressed up against the other wall, trying desperately to hide from whatever it was that was trying to barge in. And maybe a couple of years ago, you would have too. But there was nothing that anyone could do that was worse than your life at the moment. 

The door opened, and in came an unfamiliar boy with a lantern in his hands, illuminating the room. Behind him was a taller boy, stretching his neck a little as if he were trying to look inside the room. 

“Y/N?” The boy holding the lantern asked. 

You furrowed your eyebrows together. You hadn’t heard that name in a long, long time. 

“How do you know my name?” You asked the boys. 

Instead of answering, both of the boys smiled and let out a soft laugh. 

“Boy, Coups wasn’t kidding when he said you were gorgeous,” The boy holding the lantern smiled. 

“What?” 

The taller boy hit the shorter one, resulting in a loud smack! echoing through the room. 

“Sorry about him. I’m Mingyu, he’s Hoshi. We’re here to help you escape.” 

“Escape?” You asked in disbelief. “You mean people are actually escaping from here?” 

The boys blinked at you. 

“I mean, yeah,” The boy with the lantern, Hoshi, said. “Have you not heard any rumors?” As you were about to reply, Hoshi perked up as if he had just heard something that you didn’t. “Right, come on, we gotta hurry.” 

Hoshi pushed past Mingyu and stepped out into the hallway. Mingyu, however, walked up to you and offered a hand with a kind smile.

“Come on, we just got to get out of here and then you’re free.” 

“And how do you expect to get us out of here?” Despite your words, you grabbed his hand and let him pull you to your feet. 

Instead of responding, Mingyu just winked at you. “Don’t worry, we have a team.” 

Mingyu led you out of the room where Hoshi was already crouching against the wall. They motioned for you to crouch with them, and you noted how amusing it was for a giant like Mingyu to bend down so low and still stick out like a sore thumb. 

“Can you see the others? Is it safe?” Mingyu asked Hoshi, making him whirl on the boy. 

“For the 27th time, I can’t see through walls, Gyu!” Hoshi snapped. “But, I don’t hear any more fighting so I assume they got them all out of the way.” 

“Or the soldiers got all of our guys.” 

Hoshi started to laugh. “Please, these unaffected can barely hold their guns right.” He looked around once the three of you got to the end of the hallway. “Alright come on, there’s no one here.” 

You ran after the boys with Mingyu dragging you by the wrist. The three of you managed to run out of the isolation building, a place that you hadn’t left since you got to that forsaken place. 

“Hosh!” You heard a voice say from the side. When you turned, there was a group of about 10 boys running towards you. 

“You guys took everyone out?” Mingyu asked. 

“Well, yeah. Eight of us? Sixty of them? Please,” One of the boys waved off. 

“Bold of you to say that, Seungkwan, you were freaking out the whole time,” Another boy scoffed. 

“Shut it Dino!” 

“Well,” Hoshi said over the two bickering boys, grabbing everyone’s attention. “It appears that there are soldiers coming right for us, so,” He reached forward and grabbed the wrist of one of the younger looking boys. “Y/N, this is Vernon. He’s an air elemental. He’s going to take the long way around with less soldiers while we get to the front and take them out.”

“What’s an air-” 

Before you could finish your sentence, Vernon scooped you up and started to run. Your arms wrapped around his neck and curled into him tightly as you felt the wind press against your body. 

“It’s okay, we’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” Vernon said. Against his shoulder, you frowned. Shouldn’t he be out of breath?

The more he ran, the more you got used to the feeling. Slowly, you lifted your head from his body and looked around. You were going faster than you could have ever imagined. Your gaze stayed on the passing trees and buildings for a while until Vernon spoke up. 

“S.Coups is going to be so happy to see you. We finally managed to get him drunk enough to admit something about his past and from the way he talked about you, you were a big part of his past.” 

“Who’s...who’s S.Coups?” 

Vernon was about to respond, but he instead skidded to a stop. Your head whipped to what was in front of you, and you saw exactly what it was that made the boy stop. 

“Go, Vernon! Go!” Hoshi screamed. “We’re not important right now, get Y/N back to camp!” 

They were surrounded. All of them. There were more soldiers than you’ve ever seen before and most of them had guns pointed at the boys. Some of them had guns pointed at you and Vernon. 

As you looked around at your saviors, the ones who risked everything to get you out, you felt a rage that you had never felt before. You tapped on Vernon’s arm and jumped down from his hold.

“Y/N, what’re you doing?” Vernon asked.

You barely heard him. The only thing in your mind at the moment were the soldiers. You walked forward, right for the one that was pointing his rifle at you. As you got closer, his stance faltered, curious as to what you were going to do. 

Right when you were only a mere few inches away from the gun, you stopped. With a sharp gaze into the soldier’s helmet, you spoke. 

“Let them go.” 

 Your voice was gentle, but your tone was firm. You could see the glow of pink under his helmet and watched as he turned and pointed his gun at his colleagues. 

“Shoot her down!” One of the other soldiers shouted.

You glanced at the crowd of soldiers running at you and held their gazes. 

“I said, let. them. go.” 

The front row of soldiers stopped abruptly, having the rest of them bump into each other and some even fall over. The soldiers in the front row turned, and much like the first one, starting to point the gun at his colleagues. 

The crowd turned into chaos. The soldiers weren’t sure which ones were affected by you and which weren’t. You took this to your advantage and blinked yourself out of your trance. All around you, soldiers were falling as the influenced ones tried to protect the affected boys. 

“Come on!” You shouted, grabbing Vernon’s hand and shoving your way through the crowd. 

As you approached the wall, Vernon scooped you up and jumped all the way over it. You buried your face back into his chest in the process, not quite used to the feeling of jumping and falling. 

“Wait, what about the others?” You asked once the two of you were on the floor. 

“Well, that’s Joshua,” Vernon said, pointing up at the sky as he was still running. As you looked up, you saw nothing but a bird flying past the two of you. “He’s a shifter, so he shifted into a bird.” 

“Shifter...oh so a cloud?” 

“Exactly.” 

“But what about the others, can they fly or something?” 

“Do you not know any of the other powers?” 

“Uh...no? I lived in isolation most of my life.” 

“Ah, well, I’ll have one of the leaders explain it to you,” He finally stopped by a tree that was out of sight from the facility walls. “Just wait for a little while, they’ll come.” 

“How do you know? Can you read each other’s minds?” 

Vernon chuckled. “No, I just know.” 

A couple of beats of silence passed until you finally heard something. 

“Right through here,” You heard Hoshi’s familiar voice. 

The large group of boys all came into view with tired smiles on their faces. 

“Alright, now get into the formation Woozi planned out for us and we can start walking back to the campsite,” Hoshi nodded, and the boys immediately started moving. 

Vernon grabbed onto your hand and dragged you to the front of the group, leading you all through the forest. 

“Okay so where exactly are we going?” You asked. 

“Our campsite,” Vernon answered simply. 

“Right...and who are you exactly?”  

“We’re Seventeen,” Vernon shrugged.

 “Uh...”

“What he means,” Hoshi intervened, jogging up to your other side, “is that we’re a clan called Seventeen. We’ve been going around and slowly getting people out of facilities and slowly planning a revolution.” 

“Okay...but who are you?” 

“Right, well, you already know me and Vernon, the two behind you are Seungkwan and Dokyeom, the three behind them are Mingyu, Jun, and Wonwoo, the two behind them are The8 and Dino.”

“Yeah, I’m probably not going to remember that.” 

“That’s okay, S.Coups will probably explain it to you once you get to the campsite.” 

“Okay, you guys have been mentioning this ‘S.Coups’ a lot. Who is he exactly?” 

Hoshi blinked at you for a moment. “You don’t...” He looked around. “Did we get the right moon? Is there another moon in that facility?” 

“What? No, Coups said that he was the sun and that Y/N was the moon. He never mentioned anyone else,” One of the boys behind you, Seungkwan, said. 

“Sun?” You muttered to yourself. Suddenly, it dawned on you and you gasped. “Seung-” 

Hoshi’s eyes widened. “Sun! Yes, the sun, that’s exactly who you were talking about!” You looked at him weirdly, so he leaned in. “He doesn’t go by that name anymore. It’s S.Coups now.” 

“So we’re going to see Seun- S.Coups? You guys are bringing me to S.Coups?” You bounced excitedly. 

“Man, Coups was right, she’s so cute!” Dokyeom exclaimed from behind you. 

The lot of you walked on until you reached some sort of cluster of plants. Hoshi and Vernon swept some vines to the side, which then revealed a beautiful campsite filled with tents and campfires and people walking around. 

“Wow,” You said breathlessly. 

“I know,” Hoshi smiled, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Now come on, I’ll take you to Coups.”

As the two of you approached a bigger tent, you could hear a bunch of shouting. Whether it was out of anger or just friendly banter, you weren’t sure. 

“Hey, we’re back!” Hoshi called. He motioned for you to stay outside as he started to walk in.  

“It’s about time! Do you know how hard it was to keep him in here for so long?” A gentle voice shouted back. 

“Yah! What’re you talking about? You and Joshua basically trapped me in here!” A deep, yet familiar voice shouted back. 

You could immediately tell who it was, partly through context and partly through the butterflies that started to fly around in your stomach.

The voice continued on. “Wait, where did you go anyways?” 

“Well, actually...we have a surprise for you.” You saw the entrance of the tent open. “Come on in.” 

You took a deep breath to get rid of your nerves, but they didn’t seem to go away. You stepped into the tent, and your heart jumped at the man standing in front of you. 

Once your eyes met his, it was like nothing changed. It was like the two of you were never separated. Suddenly, you could see a past with him that you knew you didn’t have and a future that you hoped to happen. Suddenly you remembered what his smile looked like and how it sounded when he laughed. Suddenly, you could feel yourself caring again. 

“Y/N...” Seungcheol said in almost a whisper. 

“Hey, Cheol,” You whispered, like an old habit. 

Out of nowhere, Seungcheol marched up to you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to his body as you could. You were completely engulfed by him and completely loving the feeling. All your worries, all your fears, everything just faded away. All you felt was Seungcheol’s warm body against yours. 

“Y/N...I’m sorry I didn’t come back for you...please don’t leave me.” 

You sniffed back your tears and pulled away from him just enough to reach up to his face. 

“Why would I ever leave you, Cheol? Or do I have to call you S.Coups now?” 

Seungcheol smiled and reached up to hold your hand that was against his face. 

"Come on, Y/N/N. It’s you. You can call me Cheol.”