#it was a written exam though so I don't know for sure yet

[mushroomwriter]

maybe I did it maybe I finally passed this exam

[yuyu1024]

BFWB

Pairings: Mingyu × y/n x Wonwoo

Genre/tags: fwb, poly

Warning: fluff, smut/angst 🔞, pet names, cursing, dry humping, suggestive but no sex, semi public?

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 3.1k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: i've written this... like last month? Ish? this is all over the place lol. Just an idea i got out of the blue.

And instead of deleting... i'll jus put it out there... hehe

sorry.. not proof read 😅

Masterlist

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"Be more careful and aware next time okay?" The nurse says as she carefully assists you to sit down at the clinics bed. "Especially its rainy season now... we are definitely more prone to accidents... even we are just casually strolling down the stairs."

You wince a little as try to flex your left foot. "And no phones while walking down the stairs..." you add. "I could've waited to know my result from my exams when I reach my class..."

"Did you pass though?" She smiles

"I did. My sleepless nights are worth it."

"Congratulations then..." she pats you on yout shoulder.

"Thank you."

She then places your shoes near the bed. "Did you call your parents already?"

"Ahm... not yet... I..." you look around and pat your jacket's pockets to look for your phone. "I don't know where my phone is..." you mutter under your breathe

"I have it." The curtain swhishes open. "The janitor found it near the bushes..."

"Wonwoo..." you smile, seeing your friend.

"Mr. President..." the nurse greets him and then looks at you. "She's your friend?"

"Yes... the clumsiest of them all..." he sighs as he moves closer to both of you.

"Hey!" You pout.

The nurse giggles at the interaction. "Don't worry... she's fine. She sprained her ankle but nothing serious..."

"That's good to hear..." Wonwoo then places your bag on the bed beside you. "I went to your classroom and picked it up."

"Oh right...."

"I also told your professor already what happened... so you are excused for today's class."

"As expected. Mr. President has done everything for her friend." The nurse claps his hands in tiny

"He's unreal..." you mumble, beaming a smile.

"He is..." the nurse agrees. "I'll leave you two then? And I assume you will take her home coz she can't walk with her state now..."

"I will bring her home." A voice echoes as you all hear the door opens and shuts.

"Who...?" The nurse peaker her head out the curtains and sees a talk guys wearing a sports uniform, panting and sweating.

"I'm her friend..." he goes behind the curtain where you and Wonwoo are. "Yah! What happened to you?!"

"Gyu... what are you doing here? You should be in football practice..."

"I am.... well... I was." He then goes down to his knees to check on your foot. "What happened to you?" Then he stands up and looks at the nurse. "Is it serious?"

"Ahm... No..." the nurse is a bit startled by Mingyu's presence.

"Relax... she's fine. She just sprained her ankle." Wonwoo says.

Mingyu snaps his head back to you. "I should put you on bubble wraps next time... once you heal. You are so fragile."

"Yah... that's ridiculous!" You say

"You say that but look at you! Didn't you just had a scratch on your knee a few weeks ago?"

You press your lips together, guilty of the clumsiness.

"Stop it... she's fine." Wonwoo taps Mingyu on his shoulder.

"I'll leave you three to discuss." The nurse makes her way out of the situation and leave you three be.

"Stop nagging... it's not helping." Wonwoo says

"I'm not nagging. I'm expressing how worried I am of her."

Wonwoo pinches the bridge of his nose. "Whatever..." he sighs. "Just go back to your practice... I will bring her home."

"No, it's fine. I already excused myself to coach." Mingyu then sits down beside you. "Are you sure your all good?" He softly asks you

You smile. "I'm okay... it's just my foot."

Suddenly, Mingyu reals back from basically yelling to sweet and gentle. What a switch.

"I have my car already outside the building..." Wonwoo says.

Mingyu looks at him, frowning.

"Guys... don't start..." you hold both their hands. "Let's just all go home together... okay?" You turn your head to both until you see them agree to your suggestion. "Good...I just need to call my parents to tell them what happened so they don't worry too much while they are away."

"They are away?" Mingyu's ears perks up like a dog.

"They left this morning... they are on a cruise with Dad's brother and his wife. Like a double date." You says

"I already called them when I got your phone. They were calling you that's why the janitor found it near the bushes while sweeping the floors." Wonwoo explains. "You can just message them that you're fine."

"Oh... thank you."

"Wait..." Mingyu turns your head to face him again. "They're not at home?" He repears wearing a very suggestive smile.

"She sprained her ankle... why are you being a pervert right now?" Wonwoo scowls at him.

"I'm just asking... Since she's alone... I can keep her company..." Mingyu wraps his arm around your waist and then kisses you on the cheek. "Right, babe?" He is very cheeky

"I guess..." you blush at him calling you babe.

"Y/n..." Wonwoo calls you out.

"Like I said... I'm fine." You take Wonwoo's hand and put it on your cheek. "Don't you want to spend time with me? We haven't been together for a few weeks now..." you say softly and quietly. Your eyes speaking to him through your lashes.

"It's been so long..." Mingyu breathes as he inhales your scent on your neck. "I know you miss fucking her like I do. So stop acting so noble." He side eyes Wonwoo

"I didn't said no." Wonwoo answers

"If you are busy... I can stay with her." Mingyu says

"And I didn't say I was busy."

"So what's your problem?"

"You. You are my problem." Wonwoo hiss

"Guys... guys... please... stop." You try to calm the two down. "Don't start... let's just go to my place... okay?"

"It's him who started it." Mingyu pouts.

"Wonwoo... its not a problem right... if we all... spend time together?" You tilt your head to the side

"Whatever." He sighs. "I'll start the car... just carry her." He then says to Gyu.

**

You three basically have known each other since 5th grade. They were your bestfriends and protectors to people who likes to bully you back then. They are also the guys, who you study with all the time during exam periods in highschool and the shoulder you cry onto when you are heart broken and shit from your crushes. In short they were and have been your person.

The relationship of you three was just innocent, fun and just purely loyal friendship. However the pureness got tainted a little bit when all three of you got into Uni. When all three of you hit the stage in your life that you have needs and want. That's when things got a little messy and intense.

It started from simple skinships with no malice that evolved into extreme cuddling time, dry humping and make out sessions whilst watching a movie, reviewing for an exam or whatever. You all did that with both of them. Well, first was Mingyu.

You can still remember how Mingyu started it all. He was and still is the horniest out of you three. And he's the type of person who can't hold back his thoughts and feelings very well. So he just asked you out of the blue one time that you and him are at his house, on a weekend, watching his favorite sports team on TV.

You were both on the floor sitting while your backs were leaning on the sofa. Mingyu's arm was around you. You were cuddling him like the usual. But then as the game on the TV got intense, the boner inside his pants also can't hide the excitement.

"Y/N..." Mingyu lowers his hand so he could touch you by your waist.

"Hmm...?" Your eyes were still on the TV

"Can we cuddle a bit more?" He asked cautiously

You straighten up and look at him. "What do you mean?" You were looking at his face, trying to understand him.

He looked so nervous. His eyes were shifting to you and the TV. But mostly his gazes were looking up and down of you.

"I... I can't concetrate on the game... All I can think of is... ahm..." his eyes goes to your lips and then down your boobs. "H-how big your tits are...and I... I want to touch it."

You blinked multiple times trying to proces what he just said.

"I want to feel it while I hug you... I want to know how soft it is... and maybe..." Mingyu bits his lips before saying the words. "Maybe... you'll want to sit down on my lap and then show me how does it look like?"

You were too stunned to speak. But him being naughty was not the one that surprised you. You already know how he is. He is very open with him watching porn or who are the girls he finds attractive. He talks about this shit a lot with you. What really shocked you is he taking interest with you. That's also why it took you a solid minute before you responsed to him.

"Here...?" Your voice was shaky.

Mingyu took your hand and kissed the back of it. "We're home alone... don't worry... Mom and sister just left so they will be home later... and Dad is away for work so..." he pressed your hands on his cheek. "It's just the two of us..."

Your heart was beating out of your chest. You were scared, nervous and worried. But the fact that Mingyu is your bestfriend, eased it all away. And probably having a crush on him also made you excited to do this.

He exhales his nervousness as soon as you crawl on top of him and sit on his lap, facing him. You began by moving your hips, making friction on his gray jogging pants and your panties underneath that A-line skirt you are wearing.

"Fuck..." He says as soon as you lower the neckline of your top even more, showing more skin. Or should we say, expose your tits more for him.

He then tried to measure his hand on top of your tits to check how huge they were before even touching them.

"When did they start growing like this..." he mumbles

"I don't know... And... I feel like... they are still growing..." you shyly said. "I feel like... I'll go a cup bigger sometime soon..."

"Holy shit!" He bit his lower lip before grabbing each boob with both his hands. "Your skin is so soft and its so full..." he rubs his thumbs in circle motion until he finds your nipples underneath your bra. "I'd like to do this again when they get even bigger."

You released a hum the second he squeezed your tits. "Y-you're the first person... to ever touch me like this..." you say, blushing.

"Yeah? Hmmm... Does it feel good?"

You nod, lowering your head to hide your aroused expression.

"Shit..." he was also getting so red. He can feel his erection getting hard as a rock.

"Mingyu..." you breathe. "I might stain your pants...." You can feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Please do..." his breathe suddenly shaky too. "I love to see how your body reacts when I touch you.. and when you feel my dick... coz babe, I'm turned on by you... so fucking much."

You rub your clothed core on to his bulge more harder and faster. Imagining that you are fucking him like what you see on porn videos.

"Ahhh..." you bury your face on his chest. Your pussy is clenching and you can feel the orgasm building. "Mingyu... fuck... this feels so good... ahhh... Shit..."

"Babe..." he pulls your face close his so he could kiss you. "Y-you're cheeks... are so red."

The friction is driving you insane. You've never experience this kind of exhilarating feeling before.

"I think... I'm...I'm about to... explode..."

"F-fuck...." Mingyu dives his face to you chest and starts to show them the love they deserve. "You sound so sexy... let it all out babe." He hums as his tongue finally found your sentivie tips.

"Ahh!!! Mingyu!!!"

While catching your breathe from cloud nine after experiencing your first arousal moan ever from dry humping. "Should we... do this again?" Mingyu asked. "We can try something... else if you like."

You lay down on the floor beside him, smiling and shimmying down your wet panties off. "Will it feel as good as this...?"

"Of course..." Mingyu leans down to kiss you. "Or maybe better..."

After this 'incident', the relationship you two have suddenly leveled up. You guys hang out more and became more clingy than the usual. Though of course, it's not like you always make out whenever you see each other. You still do it on the right place at the right time. You have bounderies as well. Which is good.

And since the dynamic of you two changed quiet a bit, this didn't go unnoticed by Wonwoo. Another bestfriend of yours, who you met before you met Mingyu. The only son of your mom's friend. The guy who acts like your brother but treats you like his girlfriend when its just the two of you.

Yes. Wonwoo is that guy. A friend that gives you mixed signals but never said anything or made a move. He's just there. Always present. Always available. Always by your side.

Yes he is your person and he knows a lot about you. Sometimes, more than you even know.

"Something is different." Wonwoo asked as soon as you two were left alone in the kitchen of his house, finishing doing the dishes. This happened on a night when he asked you to stay overnight just to hang out.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?" You ask as you organize all the plate and pans you wiped dry. The ones Wonwoo just finished washing.

"You've been hanging out with Mingyu lately..." he takes his gloves off and apron off. "More than the usual..."

"What do you mean? We always hang out... nothing changed."

"I'm not blind, Y/N..." he paused. "I can see how he looks at you... he even blatantly asked you to sit on his lap when we were eating lunch two days ago..."

You snorted a laugh. "Are you jealous that we are close?" You teased, giggling. It was an innocent teasing. However Wonwoo answered with seriousness and diction.

"I am."

You paused and look at his face for a few seconds. "Then... stop being busy..." You say as you close the cabinets you just filled with plates. "We only hang out together as two when you are not available... you're so busy being the leader of your club that you don't have time for us..." you added

"You know... I can make time for you..." he uttered moving slowly closer to you. "Just tell me if it will be just the two of us..."

Then you suddenly stopped breathing for a second. Frozen at your place as well.

You stutter his name. "W-wonwoo...?"

"Does this make you uncomfortable... if its...me that is doing this?"

"Ahh..." you breathed and automatically you bit your lower lip. "W-wonwoo...w-hat...?"

You were taken aback in a good way when all of a sudden Wonwoo went behind you, snaked his hands around and grab your tits and began kneading it like a dough.

"W-what are you doing?"

"I'm just doing what you like..." he whispered in your ears. "I can still remember... the night... when I caught you... pleasuring yourself..." his breathing in your ears is making you go red and squirmy. "I would've loved to see you go beyond than playing with your nipples..."

You suddenly became red. You remember that night. He said he didn't saw anything. He acted like he didn't saw anything. That gave you peace of mind. But hearing him say he caught you, that one time, that only time you got curious what it felt like doing it to yourself. Gosh! It's embarassing

"Why did you lie?" You asked before leaning your head back to his chest.

"I don't want to make you feel embarassed." His lips brushed over your skin. "And I wanted you to continue... but your mom called you and got us startled..." he chuckled. "I hid... and you pretended to sleep."

You closed your eyes. "What a bummer..." you hum

He continued to play with your tits. His thumb brushing over your sensitive bud "Does Mingyu do it better?" He whispers. "Or... I do.. Hmm...?"

"W-wonwoo..." you whine. Your hips also begun reacting to his touch. "Please..."

"Please what?" He playfully bit your ear, making you moan a little too loud. "Sshh.... if my family hears us... I have no choice but to stop... we don't want that... right?"

"Hmm..." you press your lips together tighly.

"Do you want me to stop?"

You shook your head.

You the heard him smile. "What a slut." His voice went an octave lower. "I have a new game installed in my computer... do you want to play in my room?"

"I'm... b-bad at games..." you turn around to face your friend, Wonwoo, who's face was so still and yet so captivating.

"I can teach you..." he leans down, putting both his hands on your side, holding onto the counter top. "Maybe... more than what Mingyu have taught you already..."

You nervously smiles and then pushed his glasses up his nose. "How did you know? I mean... about me and him."

He smirked. "I pay attention more than you realize. I know when something is wrong...or... different." He arched his brow. "And I noticed that you have been wearing much more... revealing tops. Subtle. But revealing enough to make Mingyu's eyes pop out of his head."

"Does that mean... it works to you as well...? I mean... me wearing tank tops and fitted shirts?"

Wonwoo didn't answered. He just kissed you and let his tongue explore your mouth. His kiss was so aggressive and with intent.

"Is... this wrong...?" You asked, breathing heavy. Pertaining to what you and Mingyu are doing and to whatever you might be doing with him later.

"No... As long as we have consent... bounderies and protection... its not wrong in my book." He softly chuckled right before he kissed you again.

"Hmmm..." you hum as he pressed his body on you. You can feel his erection. He is big too.

"We have all night to play..."

Then it hit you. "Wait... is this why you asked my mother if I can have a sleepover?"

A grin appeared on his lips. "My advantage from Mingyu is... your mom knows me more... and trusts me more..." he tugs the loose hair off your face behind your ear. "And you can trust me..."

And that was it. Since then Wonwoo and Mingyu became more than just your bestfriends. They've become your bestfriends with a lot of benefits.

[queenpiranhadon]

A/N: You all voted on this poll, and this poll, and this poll and after a LOT of voting ((again) again) , I wrote this for all of you :D Thank you to my first not irl moot, Bee (@swans-chirping-in-the-distance) for beta reading this ily girl 😭 Here's my masterlist!

Warning(s): Enemies to lovers trope, mentions of anxiety, night thoughts (iykyk), reader wants to strangle Sirius lmao, maybe some inaccuracies idk man, reader is a Ravenclaw, reader is in the year below Sirius, reader is a bookworm, reader gets stressed apt academics - don't even try to call people like that nerds, anxiety for this sorta stuff is really serious, reader snaps at Sirius, reader’s nicknames are sweetheart, love and angel, slowburn kinda- they're just figuring stuff out, reader is GN but written with f!reader in mind.

Pairing: Sirius Black x GN!Ravenclaw!Reader

•─────���°•❀•°•──── ʜᴀᴛᴇ ─────•°•☁︎•°•─────•

The halls were quiet. 

 Too quiet.  

And you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from traversing the halls of Hogwarts, relishing in the darkness that enveloped the halls, and ultimately concealing you from any prying eyes.  

Stars twinkled through the windows that cast soft rays on moonlight onto the empty halls of Hogwarts, you should’ve felt at ease. 

But you didn’t. 

Technically, you shouldn’t be awake right now, and technically, you shouldn’t be in the halls right now, either, given the strict curfew Hogwarts has on its students. 

Didn’t stop you from leaving though. 

You had just finished a big essay for Herbology, and your anxiety had gotten the best of you, creating the twisting feeling in your gut, the one of failure, your subconscious whispering false notions and spiraling into possible timelines of being forced to work as Filch’s assistant because you failed to pass your exams, and- 

Needless to say, you needed to clear your head.  

Which is why you snuck out of Ravenclaw Tower, and why you were walking through the halls of Hogwarts. 

And why you now found yourself hiding behind one of the almost intimidating, looming pillars in the hall, footsteps resounding through the hallways.  

Your heart pounds - you would for sure be screwed if you were caught. Your mind races, thinking of countless possible ways your life would be ruined if whoever was there found you.  

Your body feels like it’s on fire, buzzing with the urge to run and hide, back into the safety of your sheets; better to give yourself to the torment of your thoughts than be caught in a place you weren’t supposed to.  

You curse mentally to yourself, until a husky masculine voice snaps you out of your mental tirade of self-abuse. 

“You can come out, sweetheart; I won’t bite. I’m supposed to be here as much as you are.” the male says smoothly. He had voice of a man who thrived off his confidence.  

Your body physically slumps in relief at the knowledge that it isn’t a professor. And then the tension came back, once you realized who the voice belonged to.  

Sirius Black.  

The boy in question was in the year above you, but it didn’t stop him from continuing his onslaught of pestering you when he could. And you tolerated it- knowing this was just how the Marauders were sometimes- but then Sirius did the unimaginable.  

You were reading your book- one of mystery and romance, each inked word drawing you in more and more until the book was physically ripped from your hands, your progress lost in the process. To say you were furious was an understatement.  

You probably yelled at him for 20 minutes straight, going on a tangent about how you never do that to someone and that he was an unsufferable prick, and yet all that son of a Blast-Ended Screwt did was stare at you with those stupidly gorgeous eyes and an even stupider grin plastered on his face.  

And after that day, he had made a point to poke fun at you whenever he could.  

Maybe running into a professor in the middle of the night wouldn’t be so bad.  

“I know you’re there, love.” he says; you can practically hear the smug grin on his face.  

“Shove off Black, you’re not supposed to be out either.” you bite, speaking in hushed tones unlike the loud boy on the other side of the pillar you were hiding behind.  

“That may be true, but I’ve never been good at following rules, have I?” he teases, trying to rile you up. “But I seem to have caught the Ravenclaw’s self-righteous angel doing some misdemeanors of their own.” 

You want to wring his neck- stupid Black doesn’t know anything- doesn't know how much your anxiety bothered you at night, and the moment you try to get some reprieve, you have to deal with him.  

“Can you actually shut your mouth?! You don’t know anything about me, and you never will, so stop acting like you can read me so easily, because maybe, just maybe, people have lives outside of you and your thick head Black.” You snap, storming off from your hiding place where Sirius can see you, determined to leave for Ravenclaw Tower. 

But before you can, he grabs your wrist, tugging you backward and into his chest- strong arms wrapping around you and securing your frame, effectively trapping you in his embrace.  

“There you are.” he whispers. 

You feel your face heat up, the proximity of the two of you was unbearable, his warm breath fanning over the back of your neck. You tense up, and yet, some part of you melts into his touch- and you hate it.  

“What in the world are you talking about, Black.” your tone harsh but no bite.  

You feel his head tilt up. The arms encircling you tighten as his tone turns thoughtful. 

“Do you hate me?” 

That caught you off guard. “What?” you stutter, taken aback. 

“Do you hate me, angel.” he repeats calmly, still looking through what you think in the window on the opposite wall from the both of you.  

You look down in contrast, mulling over his words. Do you hate...Sirius Black? Sure, he annoyed you to the end of the world, made your blood boil to the point where he could cook pasta with it, and made you want to rip the strands of your hair out, but somehow, hating him didn’t seem right. It didn’t sound right, the words hate and Sirius Black.  

“No.” you whisper, deciding to look up at the window with him. “I can’t.” 

You know he’s smiling when he softly says, “Me neither.”  

You both don’t say anything after that, silence ringing out through the halls of Hogwarts, and after a few minutes of just standing there in each other's presence, you speak.  

“So where does that leave us?” 

[invisible-brandy]

im gonna re: my own tags from a personal post and talk about spock at the academy utilising their kitchen like an actual person who can cook while most students eat instant noodles and synthesized food (or go out to eat - but that's expensive).

and kirk (who absolutely can not cook for shit at that age yet) smells something delicious and like a cartoon character follows that smell into the kitchen, expecting to find someone who brought in some take out, but instead it's spock quietly talking shit about the cheap pots and pans they have in there. is it illogical to talk to himself? sure. will he still do it? also sure, probably partially in vulcan too because he misses it wants to stay comfortable in his use of it. and for a few minutes jim just stands in the hallway, staring at this vulcan–their only vulcan, in fact, so he knows who he is–and he'd stand there longer admiring spock's beauty if his stomach didn't growl like it's trying to invite itself to dinner and that alerts spock and he's just standing there with a spoon in his hands awkwardly, posture like a question mark and a little red in the cheeks because of the steam from the pots.

of course jim gets to share the meal with him. and THEN amanda sends spock more cooking utensils, because spock of course in his letter (god i think spock would like hand written letters) or on their videochat says that the ones they have in the communal kitchen are trash and "it affected the quality of my meal and my dignity, mother" and amanda gets all perky eared like "your dignity? why, son, do tell me?" "im afraid ive put shame on your family recipe when i shared the meal i cooked with a human from my course."

amanda would absolutely want her baby to make friends through cooking them meals. AND and and

mccoy would also be one of the few people who can actually cook, but he's a terrible night owl, so for a bit they don't cross paths.

then, exam season hits and suddenly jim is in the kitchen at 2 am, sitting on the counter, feet swinging in the air, and he's still trying to convince spock to actually make them a meal (spock is in pajamas because he refuses to stay up too late to study "you're supposed to do during the day time, jim", but he's actually also been lying in bed and reciting material in his head because he is very illogically anxious before their first exam. he's starting to suspect some heart disease bc his heart wont calm down, but its actually just anxiety. kirk tells him that eventually). spock keeps trying to insist on something lighter, just a snack, and then bones comes in and shooes jim away from the counter so he can cook.

and spock and bones could later have joking (but with serious vibes) competitions for who can cook a meal that jim likes best (even going as far as to make the same meal and present it anonymously to jim. jim is both stressed and very happy and well fed) and of course they'd end up hanging out together outside of the communal kitchen too.

bones wouldn't be able to keep jim from perching up on top of kitchen counters or his desk, or really anywhere that he finds comfortable or sometimes even uncomfortable if it's at least a convenient place to sit and flirt with either bones or spock.

spock would get more packages from amanda and somehow they'd all end up going to the post office ("it's not that big of a package to need two humans and a vulcan to carry it, it's only some herbs" "spock, you are clearly yet to understand mothers. there are not gonna be only some herbs") and carrying the surprisingly giant box back under sudden rain. mccoy would either get splashed or just not be dressed for the weather and spock would lend him his jacket and it would be super warm and mccoy who always grows cold would kinda want to hoard it for himself, but he'd feel bad that first time.

not the next time though. they'd go out to the town and jim and bones would be drinking while spock would be trying to figure out if he likes bars or nightlife in general and bones would complain dramatically that he's cold and spock would of course lend him his jacket. spock would never see that jaket again, it's mccoy's now. (both because it's really warm and because it smells like spock)

[fanon-elio]

By your side.

Part 3

Summary: You are the CEO of a big company and hired Lycaon as your personal attendant, however it seems that your wolfish butler has developed a crush on you. So while you and him were on a business trip, both of you were forced to confront your growing feelings for eachother.

Tag: Green Letter (Sfw)

Pairing: Von Lycaon x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is completely fictional and is not canon. You are responsible for the content you consume, so if the following warnings trigger you, you may read at your own risk.

Warnings: Fluff, Slow burn'ish, long fic, mutual pining, reader is smaller than lycaon, lycaon is down bad horrendous, friends to lovers type stuff, some flashbacks here and there, spoilers for lycaon's agent story, lycaon is a teeny tiny bit possessive.

Angst, Mentions of injury, mentions of death, social anxiety, reader lowkey having a panic attack, trauma.

Other warnings: lowkey my first fanfiction, so bare with me here. (T^T)

I added some throw-away characters to the story as plot devices, no they're not oc's and they hold no importance to the story other than providing character development.

We don't know that much about Lycaon's past yet, so take everything you may read here about his backstory with a grain of salt.

This fic contains a lot of scenarios written in Lycaons pov cuz i eat this shit up for breakfast.

Welcome back once again.

I apologize for the short delay, i have been sick these last couple of days. But I managed to get it done, even though Tumblr ate my draft and I had to start from scratch. Shaking, crying, throwing up, ripping my hair out.

Once again, I apologize for possible mistakes you may find, and constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Enjoy!

The sun was slowly setting, bathing the city in a golden hue as you and Lycaon drove through the city. You occupied yourself by looking outside the window, hoping it would ease your nerves about tonight's event. Your eyes wandered with the movement of the car as you noted that the earlier rain had definitely left its mark, the outside area's of the various restaurants and cafes remained empty and the parasol's closed. The sun gently reflected in the puddles of rainwater that still covered the streets, and you watched as life slowly but surely returned to them, smiling as you saw a couple of children jumping into the puddles as the brilliant liquid flew everywhere as it glittered in the sun.

That reminded you of something. Earlier Lycaon had called home, wanting to make sure everything was okay with everyone and the caffee while he was gone "by the way, how's it going at home?" You asked curiously, his ear flicked as you caught his attention "Corin had assured that everything was going well" he answered "everyone is doing fine, and Rina had even kept herself out of the kitchen like I had requested" Lycaon replied with a hint of amusement in his voice, even though Rina accidentally poisoning someone was one of his biggest worries. It was true that Rina was an expert at her job, however cooking had never been her strong suit, and it seemed that no matter how many cooking lessons she took it never improved. So for the time that he was away, they had hired someone to do the cooking and baking in the caffee for them.

"Corin had also asked me to once again thank you for tutoring her" you gasped as you remembered that the exam you had helped her study for was yesterday "oh! How did she do?" You asked, and he smiled, "She has written an A" he responded, and you could have sworn to have heard a tinge of pride in his voice. Even though he was a rather strict boss, he was still very understanding and supportive, you always found it endearing how Lycaon took care of Corin and Ellen as if they were his own daughters.

You knew that Lycaon's employees could be a handful sometimes. Be it Corin's clumsiness, after a cup of coffee you had once ordered accidentally landed in your lap instead of on your table. Ellen's tardiness, when you would find her asleep in the most outlandish places. Or Rina's lethal cooking, you had once experienced first hand after having been offered one of her "Chernobyl cocktails" as Ellen called them. And goddamn, you think you could never forget that excruciating stomach ache.

But you knew that they worked hard and had the spirit to do well. And, if you were fully honest, Lycaon had his own lovable peculiarities as well. Like his obsession with cleanliness, the way he attracted the attention of all the dogs in the general vicinity, or even the way he would glare daggers at a squirrel if he spotted one.

The car ride slowly came to an end as Lycaon pulled into the driveway of the building the gala would take place in, you noticed all the expensive and extravagant cars all neatly parked next to each other which made you remember yesterday's mess with Mr. Goldman, much to your dismay, you really hoped not to run into him tonight since you were already nervous enough.

If you were fully honest, high society had always been highly exhausting for you. You came from a humble backround, not having been born into wealth but rather accumilated it over the years thanks to hard work. In truth, everything overly extravagant made you feel rather uncomfortable, you never really understood the appeal of wearing expensive designer clothes, and most of them looked hideous to you anyways. So much so that you and Lycaon would always joke about it when watching fashion shows on TV.

This humbleness reflected in your living situation as well. You lived in a normal house in a normal neighborhood a few minutes away from Lumina square, so if no one knew because you had deleberately told them, they would never suspect you to have a net worth over several billion dennies.

You enjoyed the freedom this gave you, being able to walk around undisturbed without being followed around and having your day to day life broadcasted to everyone on social media. This also allowed you to form genuine bonds with people who stuck by your side for you, and not for your money. And even though your best friend Zhu yuan was rather chaotic you did love her like your own sister. You wondered if your in-person-attendance today could potentially threaten that freedom of yours.

Lycaon seemed to notice your nervousness and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder "don't worry, whatever happens tonight I will not leave your side" you smiled in reply, your heart soared at the way he touched you, gentle as if handling porcelain.

Both of you exited the car and Lycaon offered you his arm as you walked to the front entrance, the smell of rain still hanging strong in the air, and you reminisced of a time before you two had met. Well, officially at least.

Unbeknownst to him, you've actually had your eyes on him for much longer than he knows. All of it started when Zhu yuan was forced to take some time off and you tried to distract her from thinking about her job by going shopping. It had rained that day just like earlier, and you had walked down the street with your umbrella in hand. It was then when you had seen him through the window of his maid caffee. You had never actually believed in love at first sight, and always believed it to be a clichee.

Until it hit you pretty much square in the face.

And as luck would have it, your every so worried parents had hired exactly him to watch over you and your mental health, from which day oneward your feelings for the wolf thiren only seemed to grow stronger and stronger.

And since that day, he had never left your side.

You noticed the plethora of photographers and reporters standing by the main entrance, and you stiffen in response. The flashing of the cameras made you feel nauseous, as you made your way over the red carpet trying to stay as unnoticeable as possible "excuse me miss y/n!" But you had no such luck, it seems "I'm from Eridu today, and I must say it is a pleasure to see you this evening, it is not often that you give the public the opportunity to enjoy your company!" The reporter said, holding her microphone at you, and you looked at the cameraman who accompanied her. You noticed your reflection in the void of the camera's lens, and you swallowed, feeling your heart drop to your feet.

A new scent reached Lycaon's nose, one he didn't like. Fear. He had worried that this might happen, you weren't used to such media attention. Naturally, you were overwhelmed by suddenly having everyone's attention on you, with the knowledge that hundreds of thousands of other people were watching you behind their screens.

He discreetly placed his hand against your lower back, his warm palm gently signaling you that he was here, and that he had your back. He noticed you seemingly relax a little in response. Gathering all the confidence you had, you responded "O-of course, being here this evening is a matter of the heart for me" the reporter nodded, her emotions hidden behind a smile that you weren't able to pinpoint. "I see it as my duty to be present for tonight, in solidarity for the victims of the Vision cooperation" you continued, the thunderstorm of camera flashing once again flooding your senses. It was overwhelming. "That is wonderful! It's true that this scandal had shaken the community to its core" the reporter said, and you hoped a simple nod was enough of an answer for her "Master, we should get going" Lycaon responded, and you released a silent breath of relieve. You could kiss him for helping you get out of this situation, well you could always kiss him if you were being honest. With his hand still on your lower back, he gently guided you towards the main entrance.

As soon as Lycaon and you walked through the front door, you could instantly feel the stares of the other guests fall on the two of you; some in surprise, some in awe even and yet some others in confusion.

You tried to swallow the lump that was once again forming in your throat from your growing unease of being the center of attention at the champagne reception. You tried to focus on the feeling of Lycaon's hand on your back in order to distract yourself from the stares that pierced you from every angle. Lycaon himself was still worried of your growing discontent, however he was still so proud of you for having confronted your fears. He himself was used to having others attention on him all the time, be it because of his height and stature, or because of his prosthetics. But you didn't, why else did you keep yourself out of the public eye where you could. He took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as a small sign of encouragement. You smiled to yourself, squeezing his hand back. With him here, you were sure you could make it through this night.

Both of you took the drink you were offered, and made your way towards the main hall, you looked around, noticing some familiar faces you've seen once or twice on TV while a lot of the other guests present were completely unfamiliar to you, but you weren't that surprised, you normally never appeared on events like these, always dismissing the invitations, and only rarely ever gave interviews. You couldn't fathom how awful it must be not being able to go outside without paparazzi waiting for you like circling vultures, and wondered how all the famous singers and actors could live like that.

You wondered if Lycaon ever had to deal with them when he was working for other clients, and silently amused yourself on the thought of your wolfish butler trying to fend off a horde of camera wielding paparazzi.

After some time of walking among the sea of attendees, and being greeted by one or two, both of you finally reached your designated table. You thanked Lycaon when he pulled your chair out for you to sit, secretly gushing over his gentlemanly gesture as you went over tonight's schedule in your head again.

For starters, the host was going to hold a speech followed by dinner and afterward a charity auction. "Is everything alright so far, master?" Lycaon asked, and you gave him a playful thumbs up "so far everything is going well, knock on wood it stays that way" you told him, and he nodded in agreement, especially after having seen Mr. Evergreen and his wife amongst the attending guests and even though there was no bad blood between him and the Evergreens, the embarrassment he felt was still quite strong, even though he wanted to ask how Lilac's art classes were coming along.

"Say Lycaon, I'm curious about something" you started, his ears perking up immediately "please master, feel free to share your curiosity with me" he said reaching for his glass to take a little sip "could it be there are other clients of yours here tonight?" you asked mirthfully "there are indeed, may I inquire why you ask?" "Oh it's just that i saw the Evergreens earlier" you told him and he nearly choked on his drink.

Your little banter is interrupted by the sound of someone clinking their glass, blanketing the room in silence. While looking for the source of the sound, you let your gaze wander across the hall, briefly stopping when you noticed a familiar face amongst the crowd. Your brows furrowed in annoyance when you recognized Mr. Goldman and his wife, who looked equally as annoyed as you, sitting just three tables away from you. You silently saluted her for somehow miraculously finding the patience to put up with his bullshit... and his face.

"I'm honored to welcome you all" your eyes shifted to the front of the hall, now finally spotting where that earlier sound came from "it fills me with joy for having you attend tonight's celebration" a woman in a wheelchair spoke, and you could have sworn that you've seen her somewhere before "I dedicate tonight's gala to those who work tirelessly to help those in times of need" she continued "for those stricken with illness and injury, and those in poverty, who need our support dearly" as those words left the woman's mouth and entered Lycaons ears, he internally scoffed at her, wondering where all this support was that they were praising themselves for? Painfully clenching his jaw as he was reminded of his own past.

Where was it when his parents died, and he had to live on the streets, or when he had to join mockingbird just to survive, stealing from those who could have lent their aid but never did, always favoring status and profits above their humanity. Even after the violent injuries inflicted on his body, the memories of which still rob him of his sleep, it was due to his own diligence that helped him regain his life and that allowed him to now sit amongst the people he secretly loathed so much.

However... it seems that amongst the rubble, some gems can still be found; he glanced at you and his gaze softened.

You weren't like them, you actually cared about the lives of others and this is exactly what you modeled your business after, exactly why he loved you so dearly. It was your gentle nature and kind heart what made him fall for you in the first place, and god has he fallen hard for you. You give those stricken with illness and injury the oppertunity to walk through life on their own feet again. You work hard to give them back a shred of normalcy, trying to get them back on track after their life had been so crudely derailed. And yet, you still kept the delicacy of the moment, never prying neither your clients, nor himself for answers. Something he greatly appreciated about you, because he was aware that this question had burned on your tongue for the last one and a half years now. But, as graceful and as kind as you are, you opted to wait for him to open up to you, and he would eventually when he himself has found the courage to lay his heart bare to you.

His tail slowly swished from side to side as he once again marveled at the sight of you just like he had done yesterday in the car. Tonight however, things seemed different somehow, tonight you shined so much brighter; instead of being illuminated by the sun's rays, you have appeared to have become the sun, burning away the shadows of his pain and insecurity.

Memories of you two filled his mind has it really already been one and a half years? Time really does fly by when you're enjoying yourself he thinks to himself and recalls one special moment in peticular, the moment he had fallen for you.

Back then he had taken quite a beating during a comission with master proxy, breaking his prosthetics in the process, and having to spend a night in the hospital due to a concussion. He still remembered the shame he felt when he had called you to inform you about his sudden absence, and the suprise when you showed up not even half an hour later to check up on him. But most of all does he vividly recall the feeling blooming in his chest when you came back the next morning, with his prosthetic in your hands. Fully repaired. He had thanked you, having felt beyond gratefull that, not only had you taken your time, money and effort to get them repaired. But also because you had spared him the feeling of dread and hopelessness when he thought about having to leave the hospital in a wheelchair.

And even though you had helped him get back on his feet, by that time he had, figuratively speaking, already been on his knees for you.

You two had already experienced so much together, having gone through thick and thin, supporting eachother where you could. And he wanted to experience so much more with you. You turn your head, once again feeling his gaze on you, but this time he doesn't turn his head away, locking eyes with you instead and relishes in the smile you grace him with.

Maybe all of his past trageries were worth it if it ment he could remain by your side.

Applause replaced the silence as the host concluded her speech, and dinner was served, though it had been rather uneventfull. However Lycaon chuckled when you celebrated its disctinct lack of caviar. He felt a sense of satisfaction while he watched you eat. He was glad that now he was sitting across from you during an official dinner, instead of some desperate cretin who would constantly make a move on you - on his favourite person.

But not all good things can last forever. It seemes that said desperate cretin had read Lycaon's mind, thinking it a good idea to apporache your table.

"It's nice to see you tonight Ms. Y/n" both you and Lycaon had to fight the groan that desperately wanted to escape you both when Mr. Goldman appeared, sucking out all the positive vibes out of the current situation with his mere pressence alone. "I hope this dinner was more to your liking?" he inquired, which confused you that he had enough self-awareness about the abysmal choice of cuisine during your not-so-fun get together, but apparently not enough that he didn't see a problem in flirting with another woman that wasn't his wife. You were terribly tempted to snitch on him to his wife but scratched that idea, opting to get tonight over with while avoiding any inconveniences.

"It was" you responded shortly, hoping that he'd understand your unwillingness to talk to him right now, but he seems to once again lack the self-awareness necessary to understand. "I just wanted to once again inquire about possible business cooperations with you, since I'm going to be an investor and shareholder soon" he cackled, and you raised an eyebrow at his weird display, Lycaon watching both of you intently. "It is nice of you to inquire, we'll see if you qualify" you said taking a sip from your glass "what do you mean if I qualify?" he asked you rather uncertain if he had understood you correctly, while mimicking air quotes "I say so simply because our last meeting left me on a rather bitter note"

and you weren't just talking about the food, that was for sure

"was it because I didn't invite him-" he once again pointed at Lycaon "-to my party?" He asked "for one, yes" you said putting your glass down "please Ms. Y/n, a pretty Lady like you couldn't possibly be that petty-" you held your hand up, politely stopping his rambling "I have made my decision, please be assured that I will respond to your offer in due time, however-" you crossed one of your legs over the other, gently perching your hands on your knee "-I must disappoint you when I say that the possibility of you becoming a Shareholder has unfortunately never stood in question, I hope you understand" you explained "regardless, I wish you a pleasant evening" you finished.

Mr. Goldman was about to object to your words when Lycaon's voice coldly interrupted him "She wishes to no longer speak with you, I must kindly ask you to leave" Lycaon glared daggers at the smaller man in front of him who didn't budge an inch at first.

It infuriated Lycaon, he wouldn't let anyone ruin this special evening for the both of you, not when everything was going so well.

"Please don't make me ask twice" Lycaon once again sternly inssisted, his gaze rigid as it bore into the individual infront of him. For a while Lycaon and Mr. Goldman just glared daggers at eachother, both not saying a single word. You on the other hand were taken aback by Lycaon's sudden shift in attitude, but nevertheless thankfull. It made butterflies erupt in your stomach and you wondered how he'd become even more attractive to you than he already was to begin. After a while, Mr. Goldman walked off with a huff, visibly upset and, you thanked Lycaon for helping you out. Internally giggling at his display of protectiveness over you.

After a while, the auction began, luring the wealthy participants with expensive artworks and antiques. Even though none of the shown items really interested you, exceptions being a few pictures you thought would look great on your wall at home, you still planned to buy some of the items to resell or donate them instead of letting them catch dust in your or someone else's attic. So around 700k lighter and happy you let the auction go by while you bemusedly observed two people battle it out over a kitschy rooster shaped lamp, while Lycaon thought that everything had come full circle after you bought the Evergreen's painting that had started the whole drama with Lilac, Master proxy and him in the first place, secretly he wondered if maybe he could persuade you to donate it as well so he wasn't forced to look at it while he cleaned.

The auction finishes and the night seems to be slowly coming to a close. Some people had already left; either because they were tired and just really wanted to escape this labyrinth of endless formality, or because they were just really curious about the contents of the goody bag the host had prepared for everyone to collect on their way out as a final little goodbye.

You on the other hand made your way towards the Woman's bathroom, having told Lycaon to wait for you at the table. He had frowned a bit, not liking the thought of you going off on your own while Mr. Goldman was still scurrying around the building like the Rat he is, but you assured him that you'd be fine.

As you walked through the bathroom door, you noticed Mrs. Goldman standing in front of the mirror, fixing her own make-up. You cringed, internally throwing your purse to the ground at mach speed as you cursed your bad luck... "oh hey! I know you!" ...but you were definitely in for a surprise.

---~---

Part 4 ->

To be continued->

Ah I'm glad this part is done, it was so much more complicated than it had to be honestly. A small part of me died when that draft suddenly vanished into thin air, it was so infuriating.

But all is well that ends well.

Speaking of ending, i think this chapter also marks the half way point. I think this fanfiction will maybe have 6 parts in total, but it depends if I feel like writing an epilogue or not.

Until then, I wish you a pleasant day/evening, and hope you'll stay tuned for the next part.

-Elio

[verysanebsdfan]

𝑲𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒂 𝒁𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒄𝒌 𝒙 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒂!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Request: And also one where reader is very similar to misa misa from death note !! She's a famous model w kira as her nen and she joined the Hunter to try and see what else she could do!!

Hii!! This is a story to a second part of this request, I hope you like it.

Also i havent watched Death note since like 3 years ago so it may not be all so accurate, the personality i mean !!

tw: mentions of murder and manipulation, headcanons so if dont like it dont read, okay it feels more like a story but kshssksksj

Its longer than i like and expected

Idk if i understood it correctly, but your nen will be an entity of sorts, Kira, who owns something like a death note but the person doesnt have to die, they can just do whats written in it and then go on with living.

────୨ৎ────

ꨄ︎ Getting tired of your modeling career was something to be expected, the toxic beauty standarts were very annoying, also having people behind your back constantly was just draining, so you ran away.

ꨄ︎ You being an exceptional child learned nen at a very young age, thanks to your nen teacher, so you figured you could expand your abilities and go to take the Hunter exam, I mean people say it's hard right?

ꨄ︎ Upon arrival you immediately notice some interesting people, so far, mostly number 44, who's aura is very interesting, however its pink!! How cute !!

ꨄ︎ Waiting for some time bored you very much, but more interesting people started appearing like number 301, 99 or 294. Only 301 and 44 appeared to know nen though !!

ꨄ︎ How boring !!

ꨄ︎ You bet you could fight and win against all of those people, using your nen ability of course, you might be wondering why did you choose an ability like this, well it is really simple. In the world of modeling and acting, you need people to like you and do what you want, whether it's to not go through some stuff you don't want to, or to higher your pay, maybe just living comfortably. But from whatever point of view you look at it, it's useful.

ꨄ︎ Waiting for few more hours, and being in a room with other 404 applicants was honestly suffocating. You could basically cut through the tension in the air. Everyone was so tense, guys chill it won't be that hard !!

ꨄ︎ I mean i am sure it is the stares that everyone is giving Tonpa, who is currently trying to poison some newbies, number 403, 404 and 405. How interesting...

ꨄ︎ Being led through a very long tunel was also very interesting, i mean, the people here are dropping like flies, losers.

ꨄ︎ But being approached by a green kid who told you that you look strong was something you didn't expect, you thought you hid your strenght well !!

ꨄ︎ But he was fun to hang out around, so you stayed, getting joined by another kid your age later on, number 99, one of the interesting people here.

ꨄ︎ And that is when your life finally started getting interesting.

(why is the beggining longer than headcanons i usually do ;-;)

ꨄ︎ Exploring the airship with the two boys made it really interesting, especially hearing their bacstories, why is everyone here fatherless or has a toxic family...including you, the stare you got from Killua when you told them your parents were assassinated was wild...He might know, you figured, but of course it couldn't have been him, he is not strong enough for that yet...

ꨄ︎ Then getting separated from them in the third and partially fourth phase too was very boring, it was so quiet without them...

ꨄ︎ After you passed the exam, and went to save Killua from his crazy family, you were all together again, and training to get stronger. Mostly on the punching bags in the Heavens Arena...uhhh Humans

ꨄ︎ Unfortunately many people have recognized you, since you were a model and acted in a lot of movies, how annoying, so Killua started being protective over you, subconsciously though. (too ooc?)

ꨄ︎ Months after that, while you guys were on the Whale Island, Killua decided to tag with you and Gon while he finds his dad and you find the person who murdered your parents. Sweet.

ꨄ︎ During the Yorknew arc having been recognized by even more people was so annoying, i mean you couldn't even partake in Kurapikas plan !! At least not like Gon and Killua, what a shame...you could just write some stuff and the boss of the Phantom Troupe could come to you !!

ꨄ︎ Either way, surviving all this while slowly catching feelings was very good. As you got into the game, Greed island and later reunited with your nen teacher, Bisky, everything seemed ideal, at least until you had to leave, it was so fun here !! No anoying 12 year olds fawning over Killua when you walked on the street, it is wrong to kill children after all, no perverted men eyeing you up and down- that was a lie, but still... it is wrong to kill people in general but the latter was fun

ꨄ︎ And now you had to fight some stupid BUGS ?! no.

ꨄ︎ Of course you will, you cannot just leave them, i mean the only thing stopping you are your feelings, but that doesn't change anything...

ꨄ︎ Of course after all this mess you were brought into, you weren't able to confess either. It hurts. It really does, but Gon...he is in bad condition so you gotta set the priorities straight.

ꨄ︎ In the end, Gon met his father, and you met Alluka, how cute, blurting out that you love her brother wasn't so cute, but hey, she supports you !!

ꨄ︎ Telling Killua that you love him right before leaving to kill his older brother who killed your parents wasnt cute either. But hey who cares right ?? We only live once, and you want to kill Illumi Zoldyck you might not live much longer, what do you have to lose.

ꨄ︎ Him trying to stop you wasn't very flashy either...

ꨄ︎ But you cannot leave him now can you ?? Illumi will wait, after all, who can kill him if not you ??

────୨ৎ────

I don't like it a a a a

[gamerwoo]

[SKZ Imprinted] Stray Kids: Dungeons & DragonsWerewolves (Spin-Off)

Characters: ot8 skz x ocs

Genre/warnings: college au, werewolf au (sort of), humor, minor angst. lots of d&d happening (coming from someone who knows very little about d&d), possible major character death in the beginning and the end but not really, a twist on dream theory

Word count: 2,976

Summary: What if it was all just one elaborate D&D campaign?

a/n: this wasn't requested i just thought this might be fun hehe

SKZ Imprinted Masterlist

This was it. This was the moment the entire pack had been waiting for.

Jungkook was back.

The only problem was it wasn't on the terms they'd hoped. They wanted Namjoon to track him down. They wanted the hunters to bring him to them under safe circumstances so they could be sure everyone on their side would be safe.

Instead, it was chaos.

Ryujin was held tightly in front of him, one of his strong arms wrapped around her to keep her there. In his other hand was a gun, the barrel pressed to her temple. Jungkook's wild eyes scanned the small crowd in front of him.

"Don't move," he threatened through clenched teeth, his jaw impossibly tight, "or I'll shoot."

But how could Minho not move? Of course he was going to do anything to save his mate, even if it meant putting his own life in danger.

He lunged forward, betting on his reflexes being faster than Jungkook's. The hunter moved his arm that held the gun to his sister's head and--

Bam!

The room froze, all eyes going from Ryujin to Minho as time seemed to slow. Chan's jaw dropped as he watched his brother fall to his knees in front of Jungkook. He saw the bullet come out from the back of Minho's head--

"No fuckin' way!"

Aeri slowly lifted her gaze from the two large books she propped up around her like a child in school taking an exam and trying to hide their test behind folders and binders. Spread out in front of her were more papers. But instead of her eyes being wide as she read off of the papers she had written and spent hours planning, she was now glaring at the cause of the interruption.

"Minho died?!" Hyunjin gasped, looking at the dungeon master with wide brown eyes.

"Well dumbass over here wanted to just lunge at Jungkook like a psychopath!" she stated, gesturing across the long table to the psychopath in question.

Minho still looked displeased, continuing his earlier outburst, "There's absolutely no shot I die there."

"There was actually a shot," Seungmin stated, "and you did die to it."

Minho continued to glare at Aeri as he grabbed his d20 without looking, while she scanned over her paperwork to make sure she was correct -- even though she knew she was. She had copies of all of their character sheets and had been keeping careful track of all of their stats. Minho definitely hit 0.

She looked up and nodded once, stating, "Roll."

It was her idea to start this D&D campaign. She actually came up with all of the characters and their backgrounds. She also decided to modify it to make it at least a little more realistic.

Originally, the eight boys were supposed to be part of a gang with all of them having different roles. But her boyfriend begged to be a werewolf, and then Seungmin decided he needed to be one, and it snowballed into all eight men banning together to create their werewolf pack.

Chan was their fearless alpha, which gave him an extra strength point just for that. Aeri assigned Minho as a Rogue, taking some inspiration from his slyness in real life. Changbin was a Rogue Barbarian, using a mix of stealth and brute force to take down any foes in his path. The others in the pack were simply 'Scholars', a class Aeri invented for this "realistic" campaign -- though, Hyunjin's character had a mysterious past that nobody knew details about, and they had yet to discover anything else about his possible class or alignment.

Overall, the girlfriends of the group were simple Human Scholars with their different alignments. The only exceptions were Jamie, and the sisters. Jamie's class and alignment were both unknown, though her character was a mostly non-verbal person with a lot of her thoughts, emotions, and past kept a mystery.

The youngest of the Jeon sisters was classified as a Fighter, while Elsie was a Werewolf Hunter -- another class Aeri invented, but said it was a sub-class of Fighter.

And their brother was made one of the villains, and was the current main villain. All because Aeri was upset he wouldn't join their campaign.

Minho's die hit the table. 14.

"One win," he smirked.

"Two more to go," Aeri reminded him.

"Wasn't there a rule last time about not going with Minho's first answer and letting the group decide?" Ankita recalled while the rolls for combat continued.

"Yeah, but it wasn't as fun," Aeri sighed. "I made an executive decision as DM to undo the rule."

"Honestly," Jamie spoke up, holding a steaming mug of tea between both hands, "it's his own fault for getting shot."

"It's Aeri's fault for rolling a 19!" Minho shouted, making Mari jump during her turn to roll, prematurely dropping the die on the table.

"Okay, okay," Chan stepped in to calm the group before they decided to gang up on his girlfriend, "let's remember this isn't the first time someone got shot -- and Elsie lived."

"Barely," she stated. "I literally met God, like, 3 times."

The bad thing about having a DM who only just recently got into D&D and only knew the bare minimum -- if that -- was that Aeri tended to just make things up as she went. She wasn't always sure when to roll Perception or Initiative or when to roll for one's literal life. So sometimes she just...made things up.

The good thing about having a DM like Aeri, though, was that things were always interesting. Sometimes she would throw things in as she went, even if they weren't pre-planned. Having her ex-boyfriend, Taehyung be the original bad guy along with her mutual friends with him was something she had planned all along, but she decided to really focus on Jungkook out of nowhere when he refused to join the campaign when she offered that one time he came over for the Halloween party. She had always planned for Elsie to be a Fighter, but decided last minute to add on Werewolf Hunter when her and Seungmin went on The World's Shortest Break just to tease them. She made the decision while they were actively rolling for their Abilities to lower Minho, Hyunjin, and Jisung's Intelligence and Wisdom scores despite what they had rolled because she just couldn't have them being smart in any universe.

The die hit the table again. 1.

Aeri smirked at Minho, "Two losses. Good luck, champ."

"Two?!" Minho exclaimed angrily. "But I--"

"If you roll less than 10, it's one loss. If you roll a 1, it counts for two," Seungmin explained before rolling his eyes. "Don't you pay attention to the rules?"

"Not when Chan's girlfriend makes up half of them!" he shouted, gesturing toward the DM at the head of the table.

All she did was stare back at Minho, glance around the table, and shrug.

"Some of us died several times and aren't complaining," Elsie reminded him.

"Babe, can you just roll?" Ryu whined softly. "This is supposed to be fun."

"It's fun when I'm not about to die!" he exclaimed again before tossing the die across the table, landing on Hyunjin's character sheets.

The younger boy looked down in front of him before looking up at Minho to tell him, "19."

Minho tossed his head back and loudly groaned before shouting, "Motherfucker!"

The rest of the table, however, was having a fantastic time watching Minho struggle. He was so close to an instant win, and they couldn't help but laugh at his failure.

"If you die, you can always have Yoongi bring you back to life," Minseo shrugged. "I don't see the problem."

"That was only because Yoongi showed up for one game night and he wanted to do something cool," Aeri stated. "If he's not here, he can't help you."

"That's a stupid rule and you know it," Minho huffed, rolling his eyes until they glared at Aeri.

"Not stupid. Intentionally mean," Hyunjin corrected.

Aeri just grinned, "If it wasn't so funny seeing Minho get this mad at a game, maybe the rules would be different."

"Monopoly may end friendships but DnD completely burns all bridges of friendship," Ankita said quietly as she stared down at the table, too afraid to look up in case she caught Minho's intense stare.

Minho blew on the die, mumbling, "C'mon, c'mon..."

Finally, with a deep breath that was slowly let out, Minho tossed the die onto the table. Everyone leaned over to see what the outcome was, some standing up from their seats to see. And...

Ryu cried out Minho's name, one hand reaching out for him as she squirmed to get away, but Jungkook just tightened his grip. Some of the pack stayed frozen, trying to process what had happened as Minho blood pooled on the floor around where he lay seemingly lifeless. Others fell to their knees, sobs wracking their bodies.

Chan was one of the few that hadn't yet processed what exactly had happened as he stared at Minho's body. But as he stared, he realized...he was still breathing. Was it possible that maybe, somehow, Jungkook hadn't used a silver bullet? Maybe he didn't have access to that after running away? Maybe there was a chance for Minho to live.

But they would have to act quickly.

"I try to distract Jungkook to get his attention off of Minho and avoid a finishing blow, and so Changbin can sneak around and attack," Chan stated for his turn.

Aeri nodded for him to roll the dice.

Slowly, the alpha put up his hands in surrender. Jungkook's gaze and gun immediately pointed to him, but Chan didn't even flinch.

"It doesn't have to end like this," he said slowly and calmly as he tentatively took a small step forward, testing the waters. Jungkok was shaking and had clearly lost all rational thought, but this was still a risk Chan was willing to take for his brother. "You don't want to hurt Ryujin -- I know you don't. You care about her. You just want your family back and for things to go back to normal. Trust me, I understand that. But...this isn't how you should go about it."

Changbin tried to pull himself together, sniffling as he wiped stray tears from his cheeks. His reddened eyes stay trained on Jungkook as he slowly and cautiously took a step to the side. He just wanted to get out of the rogue hunter's line of sight. But currently, Jungkook seemed to have tunnel-visioned onto Chan.

"You still have a chance to stop yourself from hurting her and making it worse," Chan assured Jungkook. His eyes were sincere, even if they were still blood red. "If you walk away now and let Minho go--"

"This isn't realistic literally at all," Elsie was the one to interrupt this time with a huff and a roll of her eyes.

Aeri froze, eyes wide in annoyance and staring at her sheet. She slowly moved her gaze to the older girl toward the other end of the table, "What now?"

"You really think Kookie wouldn't notice that absolute unit side-stepping away?" she snorted.

Jisung sighed, "Fine, I'll roll for distract--"

"No," Seungmin stated. "Every time you roll for speed when you're driving in serious situations, you end up going, like, 5 under."

"Fine, then you do it," Jisung told him in a sassy, high-pitched voice.

"For Minho? No."

"Your character would, though," Hyunjin reminded him.

Seungmin let out the loudest and most drawn-out groan before picking up his die and rolling it in his hand. He threw it on the table and immediately was beaming.

"15!"

However, his smile fell when he saw the way Aeri was looking at him, "What?"

Seungmin took a step forward to start running and immediately shifted, roaring at Jungkook as he lunged toward him. Jungkook's arm moved at lightening speed, and all Chan could do was cry out, "No!"

Jungkook shot Seungmin in the chest, but the distraction was still enough for Changbin to sneak up on the hunter and wrap one arm around his neck before forcing the gun out of his grasp with his other hand. Chan rushed to Ryu's aid to get her away from her brother before handing her off to Felix, who escorted the girl out of the room while she was kicking and screaming for Minho.

"How do I get shot?!" Seungmin demanded.

"Shut it, you're still alive. It wasn't a vital shot. Get a higher number next time," she said dismissively before going back to the story.

Jisung and Jeongin rushed to help Changbin subdue Jungkook, while Hyunjin went to the alpha's side as he examined the hurt wolves. Chan had rolled Minho onto his back and saw his chest was still rising and falling, even if it was shallow. He knew a bullet that wasn't made out of silver wouldn't kill him, but it could still wound him pretty badly. For all he knew, he could have permanent brain damage. And Seungmin could face something similar.

"We need to get them out of here," Chan breathed, trying to stay calm. "We need to get them to Josh and Aya."

"How are they still alive?" Hyunjin questioned. "It shouldn't be possible, right?"

Chan had his suspicion the bullet wasn't silver, but he had to make sure. His eyes scanned the floor until he found the bullet from Minho. Without even thinking about it, he reached for it, hissing in pain as it immediately sizzled against his skin.

His eyes widened.

"Roll to kill Jungkook!" Changbin shouted out of turn.

Aeri immediately turned to him, "Can you wait your turn? It's technically Jeongin's anyway."

"Roll to kill Jungkook!" Jeongin cheered with a wide grin.

"Don't you have the lowest stats?" Jisung asked.

"No, I'm way smarter than you are."

"Are you sure?" Aeri asked, her tone serious as she looked across the table at the youngest. "If you don't roll high enough, it could end badly for you."

"What, another fake shot?" Minho scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"No."

All eyes went to Aeri. This was very crucial information to the campaign. She was warning them that this time, there would be a very real death for Jeongin's character. There would be no going back.

"I don't want to spoil anything, but...I know this run means a lot to you guys so far. So...just a warning," she told him with a shrug. "Are you sure?"

The group looked around between each other. The girls didn't really have much to do with the current predicament, so it was something the boys had to work out. But ultimately, they decided it was Jeongin's decision. Did he think he would be lucky enough to roll a number high enough to actually get rid of the biggest villain thus far in the campaign?

Jeongin stared at his d20. Did he think he could do it? Did he even want to risk it? But if he pulled it off, it would be so cool. And it would be such a big accomplishment within the campaign. They could move onto something new or even expand Ryu and Elsie's lore with this. Overall, the opportunities for Jeongin pulling this off would be great for the group.

But if he failed...

Jeongin lifted his hand, pausing like he was second-guessing if he should pick up the die. But then his hand moved forward again.

"You're killing me off?"

The majority of the group at the table jumped. Hyunjin even let out a gasp and almost fell into Mari's lap as he put a hand to his chest.

"What are you doing here?" Ryu whined, looking at her twin brother that had just walked into Jeongin's parents' dining room.

"Didn't you tell me to pick you guys up at 9?" Jungkook asked, checking his phone again to make sure he had the time right.

Jisung's eyes widened, "It's already 9?!"

"It's passed my bedtime..." Ankita mumbled.

"Oh, shit," Chan chuckled as he also checked the time on his phone. "Didn't realize it was already ending time."

"But it was just getting good!" Minseo whined.

"And I'm on death's door with chucklehead over there," Minho scowled, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to Seungmin. "We can't just leave it like this!"

"If you guys are killing me, shouldn't I fight for myself?" Jungkook asked.

Aeri scoffed, "No! You didn't want to join the campaign to begin with!"

"Yeah, but now my life is on the line," he countered. "Can't I join in at least for the boss battle?"

"We don't even know if Jeongin is gonna go for it," Jamie said.

"And we apparently won't know until next week," Aeri sighed as she slapped one of her books closed.

"Well," Jungkook began as everyone started collecting their belongings and standing up from their chairs to leave, "maybe I'll hang around next week to see what happens."

Aeri eyed the boy up and down, eyes narrowed. She had wanted him to join... Maybe letting him play his own boss battle -- if it happened -- would be interesting. Even if Jeongin didn't go through with it, just watching the group play might convince Jungkook to join.

She grabbed Jungkook's character sheets, and the notes from the campaign so far from her folder and slapped them into his chest, "Study up, buddy."

"Alright, dingdong," Elsie walked up behind her younger brother and reached up to mess up his hair, "let's roll."

Jungkook shot her a dirty look, "Can you not?"

"Bye, guys!" Ryujin called as she put a hand on her brother's back to guide him out behind Elsie.

"Can't believe we're leaving it on a cliffhanger..." Changbin mumbled, clearly unsatisfied with the current ending.

Aeri just shrugged with a sweet smile, "Isn't that what this campaign does best?"

-

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[thehyperfixationspeedrunner]

HIIIIIIIIIII WE HAVENT TALKED IN A WHILE HRU

WHICH HYPERFIXATION ARE YOU ON NOW HUH 👀

AND WOULD YOU REC?

HIIIIIII, I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL YESTERDAY AND I'M IN EXAMS SEASON SO I'M NOT DOING GREAT, HRU???

Girl, you just opened a big bag of worms cause this hyperfixation has taken over the other like 4 that were in my mind at the same time (one of them since January).

There are just a few things I have to warn you about the show before I throw my words at you: there is blood and violence, they do not shy from that; there is physical abuse mentioned and shown (although it's just shown in one scene, if that's the only thing bothering you but you wanna watch I can tell you when to skip); there is cursing, nothing major just what a high schooler would normally curse; abusive relationships and bullies are subjects that are heavily spoken about; death, don't know if that's a trigger but better safe that sorry and I'm pretty sure that's it

First, I have to ask you two questions:

Do you like supernatural stuff?

Do you like gays?

If the answer to both of them is yes, then you need to watch dead boy detectives. It's a series about two ghosts (Edwin Payne- "the brains", spent 70 years in hell, sassy little bitch, from London 1916 and speaks like it, gay, a fucking nerd, somehow everyone is in love with him except his crush (more like the crush doesn't know that he is in love with him, but whatever), so much trauma it's insane, tumblr's favourite; Charles Rowland- said crush, "the brawns", so bisexual but doesn't know it yet, do you know that character that is so charismatic and funny but actually has so much fucking trauma? That's him, daddy issues (because of abuse), from 1989, has a magical bag, so fucking british, so fucking protective of his friends it's insaneee like he will kill someone for them) and these two ghosts are detectives and solve cases to ghosts so they can move on to the afterlife.

This show is so fucking well written, you have no idea, like Charles and Edwin's relationship is so unique, because even though there is a romantic subtext they are best friends before eveything and they know eachother so well it's so rare to see such good friendship where they are so open with eachother in media specially between men (also their ship name is painland, if that's not enough reason to watch the show idk what is).

Another great example of the amazing writing is that characters like Charles normally have their trauma super overlooked, but in this show his trauma is treated so well, there is still a lot to work from it (reason 484837 why I need a season 2) but the other characters actually see his trauma and acknowledge it, it's so fucking satisfying to me because these type of characters are always my favourites but they always have that lack of development (I sometimes confuse between my mutuals who likes what but I'm pretty sure you have read hoo so you know Leo Valdez? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about).

Speaking of development, they do not leave characters behind. There is this character called Niko Sasaki, who is this girl who loves anime and loves love and is always so positive and so sweet and always thinking of others. Now, when someone describes this type of character, my first reaction is "oh, so she's just the comedic relief who is going to have a shallow ass personality" (no shade to that type of characters, shade to the writers who leave them behind), BUT SHE'S NOT. She also has her traumas (dead dad, literally almost dies, more shit that I don't wanna spoil) and they acknowledge it and they develop her. She may not be one of the main focuses of season 1 (I'm pretty sure if we get a season 2, she's gonna have more screen time because of... [spoilers]) but she still has some character development, in the 3rd episode they are solving a pretty brutal case and she says that she doesn't want to be part of it because she litterally almost died the previous week and it's totally okay, she stays at home watching scooby doo and eating noodles, again so fucking satisfying.

Since we're talking about Niko, I have to talk about the dynamics of this show because OMG THE DYNAMICS OF THIS SHOW. Like, you look at the way I described Niko and the way I described the boys and you would think that they would focus on Niko and Charles relationship, right? The two charismatic kids, makes sense. Wrong, it's actually Niko and Edwin's. At first, you're like "you're gonna pair Mr. Horrible at relationships with other people and hates physical touch with Ms. Loves love and hugs fucking everyone?" BUY IT WORKS, IT WORKS SO GODDAMN WELL, IT'S INSANE, they easily became my favourite dynamic of all times, it's so fucking good. Actually, Charles and Niko is the only dynamic that isn't really developed in this show (which is a crime honestly, how could they).

Another thing is that there is one (1) antagonist out of four who isn't likeable. And that fucker is litterally Crystal's abusive demon ex (I've realised now that I haven't talked about my queen yet, she's a bitch, she's a physic, she's fucking badass, she doesn't know who she is until the 8th episode (not in a philosophical way, she litterally loses her memory) and her dynamic with Edwin is fucking hilarious, it's an on going competion of who gets to be the bitcher). There is a witch who is immortal, kidnaps young girls to feed to her snake and has an obsession with getting revenge on the boys and Crystal (they hadn't met Niko when they confronted her for the first time), but she serves cunt everytime she's on screen and she's so hilarious, you love to hate her and deep down you also love her. There is a cat king who is the reason Crystal, Edwin and Charles get stuck in the town they spend the season (they live in London, the town is somewhere on the US coast, technically it's just Edwin who is stuck, but they're all ride or die) all because he wants to fuck Edwin but Edwin doesn't, but his hilarious and annoying in a funny way and a loser and a simp. There is a woman from the afterlife office who spends the whole season trying to catch the boys (who are running away from death, it's a whole thing), fails and ends up stuck with them, I just got mad at her when she interrupted a love confession, but we got it later so it's fine. Then there's David the demon (yes, that's his name, yes, that's hilarious) who is Crystal's abusive ex, is able to get inside her mind whenever he wants and is just so fucking annoying (but is such a great simbol of abusive relationships and how much they scare you even after it's over).

Also, no one, and I mean no one, in this fucking show is straight, whether it is confirmed or not it doesn't matter (although 4 of the nine recurent characters are canonically queer).

Don't know if you heard about it, but this is from the same universe as the show The Sandman and there are two cameos in this show (both Death and Despair get a scene).

There are two things that weren't perfect in this show: the fact that Charles and Niko got one (1) scene together (fucking crime) and the CGI, not that it's all bad it's just they focused on the more visual scenes that make you go uuhh and aaahhh but there is a roof where they sometimes talk where the CGI is so bad, but it's just background shit, do not decide not to watch because of it the only scenes like that are the roof scenes and a scene in the forest (again, background shit).

I did just spend around an hour writing all of this, you are not gonna read this whole ass essay, but just watch the show, it's on illegal sites Netflix (although if you have Netflix, put it, even if it's just background noise, we need the views, this is Netflix and a not that cheap queer show we're talking about)

[mxrvelouss]

The Neighbor Across the Street **Headcanon!**

this is just a little headcanon i have for @lavendertom 's mike schmidt x reader fic! it would probably happen sometime after pt 3 but that might change once the full thing is posted! :)

warnings: mentions of drunk driving + kidnapping

note: i havent even seen the movie yet so forgive me if the characters are "off" at all 😭😭 but i rly wanted to write this bc i am delulu! ok anyways ENJOY!

----------------------

It was another night of babysitting for Abby, the little sister of Mike Schmidt. The air was chilly, but the hoodie that Mike gave you kept you warm as you walked out his front door. It was nearly morning at this point- almost 5am- but, as always, Mike stood in the doorway to make sure that you crossed the street safely. You turned and looked back at him as you neared the end of his short driveway, returning the smile that spread under his tired eyes. You tried to push away the feelings you had for him, but deep down you knew it was futile. Why else would you be grinning like a maniac as you walked away, already daydreaming about the next time you see him?

After all, you were so focused on Mike, you didn't even hear the car that was suddenly speeding down the normally quiet street.

Mike noticed it, though, and his face contorted with fear. "Watch out, y/n!" he screamed as he sprinted out of the doorway and down the driveway.

You turned to see what must've been a drunken driver speeding towards you, headlights off, but you were frozen. It probably would've ended your life if Mike didn't leap and shove you out of the way just in time.

And then you were on the ground, your back aching from the impact, staring into Mike's wild eyes. Through the pounding in your ears, you heard as Mike cussed out the driver. The car swerved down the road but eventually turned onto the next street. He turned back to you, panicked.

"Oh, my God! Y/n! Are you alright? Oh, my God, I...." His eyes were wide, and they starting to fill up with tears. You had never seen him so scared. He turned around to make sure the car was gone, and then immediately pulled you up and into a tight embrace. The two of you sat on the street, arms wrapped around each other, and he started to sob into your shoulder.

"Mike," you say quietly as you hold him tight. "Mike, I'm okay." Your heartbeat was slowing down, and now all that mattered to you was that he would be okay.

He pulls away, his hands on your shoulders. He was trembling. "If it hit you, I don't know what I would've done..."

"But it didn't hit me," you say softly. "You saved me." You knew that he had already lost so much, and you also knew the fact that you could've died or at least gotten hurt tonight was tearing him apart. You felt helpless as you stared into those dark, worried eyes, wanting nothing more than for him to be at peace.

You stand up, brushing the gravel off your jeans, and offer Mike your hand. He takes it and stands up, and you both stand there, your hands intertwined. A tear falls down Mike's cheek. "Are you sure you're okay?"

The concerned tone in his voice makes you want to cry yourself, but you hold it in. "Yes," you say as you impulsively go on your tip-toes and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. And finally, as you pull back, there is a hint of a smile on Mike's face.

"Now go and get some sleep," you say as you slowly let go of Mike's hands and turn to go to your house. He watched you make your way up the porch steps, the feeling of your lips lingering on his cheek, and then finally turned around to walk back to his house.

And this time, it was you who watched from your doorway and made sure that he crossed the street safely.

****

It was mid-afternoon of the next day. You tried to focus on studying for your cybersecurity exam that you had coming up; your laptop and textbooks were sprawled all over your bed. But all that was on your mind was Mike, and the fear that was written all over his face when he thought you could've been hurt, or worse.

And then the kiss. You couldn't believe you kissed him. Well, it wasn't a full-on kiss, but it was still something. What did he think of it? you wondered. To be honest, you weren't fully sure what to think of it yourself. Was it just out of platonic love, or...romantic? And if it was romantic...

Did he feel the same way?

You shut your hardcover textbooks with a loud thump and got up from your bed. I should go check on him, you thought. Nobody was home at the moment, so no one would question you going to see the guy whose sister you babysit. Pulling on a light hoodie and fixing your hair, you head downstairs to put on your shoes. Just as you finished tying the laces, the doorbell rings. And then, several rounds of knocking.

You rush to the door and open it, and there in the doorway is Mike. You start to smile, prepared to say that you were just about to see him, but the excitement quickly faded as you realized the panicked expression that was on his face.

"Mike? Wh-"

"Abby's gone," he frantically interrupted.

Your stomach drops.

"Wh-what?" you reply. What do you mean, 'she's gone'?!"

"She's gone!" he shouts. "I-I fell asleep on the couch while she was, I dunno, playing, and when I woke up, the front door was open and I couldn't find her anywhere."

You look at Mike, noticing how his hair was a mess, and he was in sweatpants and socks. His cheeks turn red. "I'm sorry, I just panicked and came here-"

"No!" You didn't want him to feel self-concious. None of that mattered. "What only matters right now is that we find Abby," you say with all the confidence you can muster, although now you were starting to feel your palms sweat and your body shake. Where could she be? What if she was hurt? Or...kidnapped, like Mike's brother?

No. You can't think about that right now. Closing the door behind you, you grab Mike's hand and start to pull him toward his house, where the front door was still wide open. "Maybe she's just playing hide and seek!" you say nervously. "Let's double check the house." Once you're both inside, you shout her name, checking absolutely everywhere. Behind the couch. Behind the TV. Under the kitchen table. Under her bed. Under Mike's bed. In the closet. But after about 10 minutes, she was still nowhere to be found.

In the living room, Mike was crying now, and for the second day in a row you found yourself staring into those worried eyes. You grip his arms tightly. "We're going to find her," you say with so much intensity that it suprises you. "Mike, listen to me. We will find her-"

"How could this happen?!" he suddenly screams. "First Garrett, and now- now--" He stops in his tracks as he glances at the TV, which had been on this whole time. A car commercial was playing. "Oh, my God," he mutters. "Oh, no."

"What?" you ask frantically. "What is it?!"

He turns back to you, his face pale. "The drunk driver last night. I cursed at him. What if Abby went outside while I was asleep and he came back and-" Mike looked down, tears streaming down his face. He could barely bring himself to say it, but in a quiet voice, he finishes the sentence. "...and...took her?"

"Mike, that's crazy," you try to assure him. "Why would someone do that over a curse word? I'm sure she's just nearby somewhere. Maybe she wanted to ride her bike around the block." But deep down, you feared that his statement might be true. People are crazy nowadays. And if it wasn't that driver, what if someone else took her?

"We need to call the police," you say, whipping out your phone and dialing 911. After explaining the situation, the two of you go outside and run down the street, screaming Abby's name at the top of your lungs.

Nothing. The pain and fear you feel is so strong, but it must be nothing compared to what Mike is feeling. You try to reassure him, telling him that Abby's fine, that you'll find her, but he seems to be in a different world, as if he's not hearing a word you're saying.

Several police cars pull up, and that seems to snap him out of it. You run back to Mike's house to meet with one of the officers. "The whole unit is searching the neighborhood as well as the nearby ones," he says. "All you can do right now is wait."

"Wait?" Mike says, anger rising in his voice. "My little sister is missing! I can't just wait and act like nothing's happening-"

"Mike," you try to softly interrupt. He ignores you as he keeps shouting at the officer. "You have to find her! You have to find my sister!! I can't just-"

"Mike", you say, louder this time. You set your hand on his shoulder, and he turns and looks at you. You notice the panic swirling in his eyes. "It's okay," you whisper as you pull him into a hug, wrapping your arms around his trembling, strong body. "It's all going to be okay."

*****

The two of you sit at the kitchen table, writing down everything you can think of about Mike's sister and her appearence. You also write down everything you can think of about the car from last night, but it was so dark, and it all happened so fast....

It was nearly 8pm, and there was still no sign of Abby Schmidt.

Mike stops writing and buries his face in his hands. "What if they can't find her, y/n?"

"They will," you say, but you were losing hope with each passing hour.

"I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if..."

You suddenly reach across the table and grab Mike's hand, holding it firmly. "No matter what happens, I will be here, Mike." He looks at you, and a flicker of hope flashes across his face. You continue. "I will always be here."

He looks at you, shocked. And then he gives a small smile, and you smile back, giving him a reassuring squeeze of your hand.

"Thank you, y/n," he says gratefully. A tear falls from his eyes, but you can tell that he is calming down.

Right after you let go, there's a knock at the door, and in a flash, the two of you are there. Mike quickly opens it, and you wait hopefully behind him, too scared to breathe.

In the doorway is a young woman with blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and at her side...

Abby.

Mike lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God!" he says. Abby leaps into Mike's arms, and the two hug for a while. You and the officer tearfully watch, grinning at their reunion. Mike lets his sister go but still protectively holds her hand.

"What happened?" you ask, looking at both Abby and the officer.

"She was in the next neighborhood over..." The officer that Mike had talked to earlier starts to approach from behind the blonde-haired one. "Because she found this." In his arms is a big, gray cat.

Confusion registers on Mike's face, and then understanding. He starts to laugh in disbelief. "Abby!" he exclaims. "All of this...was over a stupid cat?!"

You let out a sigh of relief as well. So it wasn't the driver that abducted her... or anyone else. Thank God.

"I didn't mean to scare you!" Abby blurts. "It's just- I saw it from the window, and while you were sleeping I snuck outside to follow it...but I guess I went too far. I got lost...until Miss Vanessa found me." Abby gestures to the woman officer, and then looks back at Mike and buries her face in his shirt. "I'm so sorry, Mike..." She looks up as you through watery eyes. "You too, y/n. I didn't mean for this to happen..."

You bend down and hug both her and Mike. "It's okay," you say.

"I'm just so happy you're okay," Mike says. "But don't you EVER do that again, you hear me?"

"Or no more Freddy's for you!" you add in, causing the group to laugh. Mike stands up with tearful eyes. "Thank you, Vanessa," he says with genuine gratefulness.

"Yes," you add in. "Thank you!"

"No problem. It happens." She looks at Mike. "You have an amazing little sister right there."

Mike smiles as he pulls Abby into a side hug. "I sure do," he says.

"And she has an amazing brother," you say as you pull him in and give him another kiss on the cheek. He stares at you for a moment, and then presses his lips to yours.

"Thank you, y/n," he says as he pulls back with a smile. You smile back, blushing, but then the two of you become aware of Abby and the two officers standing right outside your door. Abby breaks the silence.

"Well, if you two can kiss, then I should be able to get the cat!" she says, half-disgusted. Everyone laughs again, and you pull the Schmidt's into a tight hug, wanting to just hold them forever and never let go.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #28] Avoidance

warnings: a lil dry hump !! neck kisses!! undeserved!!, dates with other people!! waaa!!! this entire section of bd always hurts my heart lol

wc: 10k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

When Jimin opens the apartment door at quarter past four on Sunday afternoon, he's stuck for words. Dressed down in a pair of jeans and a simple white shirt, it's not hard to see how he gets anyone he wants. It's curious to think of what could have been had you just had a little more chemistry. Irrelevant, though. Not worth thinking about.

"Someone's looking chirpy today," he hums as he invites you in without a second thought.

Hair down, glitter on, and wearing far too few layers for the weather, you're smiling. Paper bag in one hand, coffee carrier in the other, the only thing that seems out of place is... well... your happiness.

Jimin will never complain about it, but he knows that Jeongguk monumentally fucked up less than 36 hours ago. You should not look this elated.

"Should I not be?" you reply, seemingly ignorant to the turmoil Jeongguk feels like he's putting you through.

You're just as much a product of your relationship traumas as Jeongguk is of his. Knowing him the way that you do - as intimately as you do - you know that he's done something he shouldn't have. He's fucked up. Though you're not aware of exactly what he's done, nor to what extent it will hurt you, you know that it will .

When you knock on his door and don't wait for him to answer it, instead walking straight on in, his wrongdoings are written all over his face.

Eyes wide, lips pouty, hair a mess as it waves around his features, he hadn't been expecting you.

Leaving him on read was childish, you'll admit to that, but you just didn't wanna give him straight answers. Petty? Maybe. Deserved? Definitely.

"Hello," you greet with far more pep in your step than he expects. "Oh, you look like shit."

He grimaces. "Hey, Byeol."

"I'm not staying, don't worry, just came to drop you off some fuel," you smile, setting the coffee and paper bag down beside him. "An americano, double shot -" you nod towards the drink "- and a protein bowl from the poke place near your gym. Figured you wouldn't have eaten properly today."

He hates that you're correct.

"You look nice," he says, because apparently that's relevant. "And thanks."

"Good," you say instead of thank you. "I wasn't trying to look horrible."

Jeongguk just smiles. Nods. So much he wants to say, and yet-

"Will you stay for a bit?"

You're so pretty, Jeongguk thinks, when you shake your head, glitter catching in the light, hair waving ever so delicately. He is incredibly conflicted. Knows that you don't look at your friends in the way he's looking at you, nibbling down on his bottom lip, stars in his eyes.

And then he remembers what he did. Shame flushes his face, the torrent so heavy that he has to look away. The pressure of such a wave renders him unable to catch his breath - until your hands are on his shoulders and your legs are parting over his.

The way you straddle his lap and sink into such comfort on the tops of his thighs is unlike anything he's ever known. You melt into him like softened butter on warm bread, and he thinks it's where you belong.

"You've gotta study," you tell him quietly, as if you're not deliberately trying to get him a little riled up. You're not even sure why you're doing it. You're never normally this forward with him unless there's a bird involved - and yet you wanna prove to yourself that you are still wanted, even if he does want someone else a little more. It's pathetic, and you know it - but old habits die hard. You've got Seokjin to thank for these behaviours. "When's the exam? Tuesday, right?"

He nods, stroking the tops of your thighs, before looping his arms behind your back. There's no calculation to his movements. They come naturally, like the contraction of his lungs, or his laughter whenever you ask him questions that can easily be googled.

It's so easy, he thinks, being with you. Easiest thing in the world. Doesn't know how he sought out comfort before he knew you. Wonders if he was ever truly comfortable.

"Tuesday," he replies, as you toy with the hair around the nape of his neck.

The lighting in his room is low, like it so often is. Just makes you wish for Tuesday to come quicker.

"Will we celebrate?" you ask. "Your freedom?"

"It's a Tuesday," he simply shrugs. "Everyone will have work the next day."

You won't. You booked Wednesday off a few weeks ago in preparation for his exam. Hadn't told him, 'cause he was stressed at the time. Still is, but seems to be coping a hell of a lot better than he was before.

Or perhaps it's just something else consuming him, instead. Or someone.

And so with this in mind, you don't tell him.

"Well," you consider out loud. "You should still celebrate. Have a nice meal, or something."

It's unsubtle, the way Jeongguk's eyes drop to your lips when you say this.

"Not like that," you scold.

He feigns innocence, but his cheeky grin gives him away. "Don't know what you're talking about."

It would be easy to let old habits make themselves just as comfortable as you are on Jeongguk's lap - but he did something silly, you think. Has lessons to learn.

Gripping his cheeks, squishing his grin into a less-than-pretty pout, you get a little closer. Smirk.

"I'm not on your menu, Gguk. Too expensive."

He wants to scowl at this, but you've still got his cheeks pinched between your thumb and fingers. His brows furrow, but the expression can't take hold of his face. Instead, his sweet front teeth are on full display, and you're giggling.

It's music to his ears, but he doesn't let it show. Wants to keep you like this.

Instead of indulging him, you loosen your grip. Push him back a little as you do so, and he just lets you. Just like he lets you get up off his lap, his hands around your back dropping with little to no resistance.

He lets you leave, 'cause he'll never force you to stay. Your own free will is more important than his own selfish desires.

"Byeol, about yester-" Jeongguk begins but is cut off by the shake of your head. You don't wanna hear his excuses for his bad decisions. Don't even wanna know what they were. Tell him as such.

"Don't."

Part of you thinks you should stay silent, but the rest of you doesn't want to play games. Within the parameters of your entanglement with Jeongguk, he's not really done anything wrong. Your rules have always regarded yourselves, not other people. Whatever he did wasn't great, but it wasn't wrong .

Or at least, that's how you'll rationalise it to yourself.

"I don't want to know," you say.

He frowns. It's your past experiences with Seokjin that have wired you this way, and it frustrates him that he's being tarred with the same brush.

"Honestly," you continue, sensing his slight annoyance. He's not annoyed at you, not in the slightest. Is just annoyed by the entire situation, but never at you. "You and me... we're not together, but we are friends. We care about each other, yeah?"

He nods. Swallows. Cares so much.

The way you're dancing around the point is childish, but the conversation is awkward, whether or not you want it to be. It's part of the reason why you don't want to discuss things fully with him. Makes you feel all uneasy. Nervous. You hate nerves just as much as he does.

"Okay, and you wouldn't do anything that hurts me, no?" You ask, letting the final syllables linger a little hopefully in the air. Jeongguk doesn't understand what you mean by this. The confusion is written all over his face. It makes you smile. Cute, you think. "Not like... emotionally. That's not what I mean. I mean as in, you wouldn't... y'know... you wouldn't fuck someone else and then fuck me straight after, right? 'Cause, like, we don't use condoms, Gguk. If you got somethin-"

He vehemently shakes his head. "No."

Wouldn't dream of fucking anyone else unprotected. Wouldn't dream of fucking anyone else, full stop, but that's neither here nor there.

"God, no." He doubles down. Can't believe you'd think so little of him, but he's not a saint. Knows he's done some questionable shit since Hayun's return. Lost his head a little bit and fears he might have lost you along the way, too. "But B, I-"

"But nothing," you say defiantly. Are convinced that not knowing is for the best. "As long as I know I'm safe, that's all I need to know."

What you don't know surely can't hurt you.

"Byeol-"

"Please, Jeongguk. Don't," you sigh, and then try out a little honesty. "I had to talk myself down from going off at you, like, three times yesterday. I don't wanna fight with you."

"Why?" He frowns. "Why talk yourself down?"

"Because I'll get over my hurt feelings," you shrug. "Always do. You only have one shot at this exam, and I don't want you wasting time you could be studying on trying to fix shit that doesn't even need fixing."

And I lied when I said you aren't my first priority.

"You only wanna tell me to clear your conscience. Whatever happened, happened. It's nothing either of us can change now, is it? Hmm?" you hum tenderly as you stroke his hair behind his ears. There's a soft pain behind Jeongguk's eyes as he looks at you. It's sort of devastating in a way; self-inflicted and yet he's not entirely to blame.

You're good at pushing your feelings aside. Had done it so many times for Seokjin, that it comes as second nature. Jeongguk never wants you to feel that your hurt isn't important. Knows that this is fucked up beyond belief, but doesn't know how to fix it.

"Can I say something?" He asks, because he doesn't wanna start just for you to cut him off. Also doesn't wanna subject you to information that you aren't willing to hear.

"I don't want to know what happened," you say. "It won't change anything."

Will still adore you.

Jeongguk nods a little remorsefully. Decides that it's better if he just keeps his mouth shut.

He just wanted you to know how much he regrets the chain of events that led him to your place on that night, but also knows that it comes dangerously close to a confirmation of the truth. The truth is exactly what you've asked him to withhold, so he keeps his mouth shut.

With a small sigh, Jeongguk holds one of his hands out for you to take.

Against your better judgement, you reciprocate. Let him pull you closer, again. Back to his lap. Back where you belong.

"You need to revise."

Yet you let yourself indulge in the feeling of having him beneath you, his strong thighs the perfect seat for you to perch upon.

It's so much nicer to pretend like things are still okay - so for just a moment, you will.

"Can't focus," he mumbles as your nails begin to lightly scratch his throat. Small murmurs of satisfaction echo from his throat, his eyes closing in a state of pure ecstasy. You have this way of making things feel okay, even when they're not. "Goin' outta my mind, B."

He flicks across his lips with his tongue, wetting them ever so slightly, toying with the perfect silver ring in the corner of his mouth. Sometimes when you look at Jeongguk, you're overcome by the overwhelming desire to kiss him. Slowly, gently. Just to feel the pressure of his lip ring against your plump bottom lip, and his thin yet pouty lips trapping yours between his.

Jeongguk doesn't deserve kisses.

He doesn't deserve you on his lap, doesn't deserve the respite you're offering him, doesn't deserve to feel so good when he behaved so badly over the weekend.

Yet you think he's deserving of the world; of everything good it has to offer him. You don't really hold yourself in such high regard. Think that maybe he deserves more. Are pretty certain he sought out more. Sought out her.

It shouldn't bother you in the way that it does. You're just friends.

But he's your best friend, and you feel insecure in your place as his. You want him to like you more. Value you more.

Hayun has something you can never compete with: history.

Right now, though, you have the present. It's the one thing she can't interfere with, unless she were to show up at his door.

Your nails scratch up his throat and sink into the thick wavy hair at the nape of his neck. Pull him back a little. His eyes stay shut. A small grunt escapes his lips. His dewy nose and wet lips are illuminated in his signature cosmic mood lamp, but his skin is pristine; no traces of anyone else.

No claims to him from anyone else's lips.

"Focus on me, instead," you whisper as Jeongguk is suffocated by everything you are; the scent of your hair, the languid movement of your body hiking up his thighs, the pressure of your lips against the base of his throat.

One of his hands grips your waist, while the other clutches your hair. He encourages your movements. Wants you even further up his lap. Doesn't want even a millimetre of space between your bodies. "Fuck."

Pressing dainty kisses up his neck, you know that if you really wanna get him excited, you'll need to be using your tongue. You will. Just not yet. Want him so keen for you he could cry. Don't wanna give him what he wants easily.

Truthfully, Jeongguk just wants you in any capacity he can get you. His brain is blank, switched off to everything but the weight of your body on his, and how euphoric it feels.

"Byeol," he whines, as you start to work your tongue against his throat. You'd wanted to hold off, but can't stop yourself. Just want him to feel good. Wanna be the reason he feels good. Want him to associate you with all of the good and none of the bad.

It's a desperate act; once that's thinly veiled and oh-so-obvious to everyone except you both. Jeongguk's head is so empty when your lips are on his skin that it's a miracle he's even able to grip your waist tighter and drag you further up his lap.

"Mhmm?" You hum out, questioning the call of a name you're called only by him. "You focused, Koo?"

The way he groans when you call him Koo is unrestrained. His grip in your hair intensifies. He pulls you back. Chest heaving, eyes wide and watery, his lips hang ajar as he holds your gaze.

He swallows. Nods. "Focused."

Lips pouty and a little swollen from all the kisses pressed against his throat, you smile. It's clear as anything that Jeongguk wants more. You don't want his desire to fade.

"Good," you say ambivalently. So good at feigning indifference, it's hard for him to work out what fuck is going on inside your head, these days. It's his own fault. Keeps overthinking. He knows you like the back of his hand, and needs to learn to trust his instincts a little more. Right now, they're telling him that you're just fucking with him - and they're right. You're deliberately riling him up. It's proven when you pull away, and get off his lap once more, ignoring the fact your underwear is now uncomfortably wet.

It's not your fault that the way he grips you so intently makes you feel secure and safe. He cultivates a sanctuary with his touch. You trust him.

Which is more than you ever did with Seokjin.

Yet the impact of him lingers in how you carry yourself; how you feel the need to keep Jeongguk interested in you, as if he doesn't care about more than just your body.

"Now use that newly focused mind of yours to study," you hum, a light smile lingering on your laissez-faire lips.

There's a slight sheen to his neck where your lips have been; evidence of his overindulgence in one of the finest delicacies he's ever had the luxury of experiencing. His skin is unblemished, save for one incredibly pale pink mark where you'd let your teeth sink a little into his skin. You don't imagine it will hold any permanence. Sort of regret not leaving a more significant mark.

"Oh noooo," he pouts, his faux disappointment just as endearing as he is. "I'm unfocused again."

"Again?" you laugh.

He nods. "Think I need your help."

Predictable, is Jeon Jeongguk, as he holds his hand out for you, again .

Predictable, are you, as you let him draw you closer, again .

Predictable languid hips grinding against his predictably hard lap, again .

He groans, again . Your lips vibrate against him, again . You both get a little breathless, again .

Again, and again, and again.

It's stupid, and it's desperate, and you know it - but Jeongguk likes the desperation. Likes someone wanting him as badly as you seem to do, now. Makes him feel less alone in his unreciprocated feelings.

Sex always fools him into thinking certain things mean more than they actually do. He's aware of the fatally flawed thought process, but he likes the way it feels too much to stop himself from acting on it.

"You're so good at that, B," he groans as your lips dapple his neck in the dreamiest of kisses. Tongue, teeth, lips, he wants it all. Doesn't stop you when you get a little more territorial. Knows you're probably leaving marks. Just holds you tighter. Hisses. Moans. "Just like that."

Nails scratching against his scalp, pretty posies blossoming on his neck, Jeongguk is in fucking ecstasy. The friction of your bodies together, even fully clothed, gets him excited to the point of nearly spilling over. His kisses can only reach your jaw, the angle a little off, and it frustrates him to no avail.

"Let me fuck you," he begs, hips pushing up as his grip on your waist encourages your grinding against him.

Your tongue trails up his neck, and flicks over the lobe of his ear. Makes him shudder. Whine. He fucking loves it. Teeth grazing on it, he knows you're smiling, enjoying every second of his weakness.

"You wanna fuck me, huh?" you tease. It's nice knowing that you're still desired. You want more confirmation. More validation. "Why?"

"Is that even a fucking question?" He rasps as two wildly different responses come to mind. He'll go for the safer of the two options. "Can feel how wet you are even through our clothes, B. Let me help you. Let me fuck you. I'll make you feel good. You know I will."

"Oh, so all for my benefit, eh?" you tease once more. "Not for yours at all?"

He rolls his eyes. Considers the response he didn't say.

You're the only thing that makes sense to me, these days. You make me feel safe. Calm. You're the only thing. Only one.

Will never admit it, though.

"Fuck me and find out," he smirks back. "See how quickly I'll cum. Then you'll know how much I want you, too."

"Don't think you'll last a minute," you taunt.

"Don't think I'll last thirty seconds, B," he admits. Is kinda joking, but also totally not. "Think I'll nut as soon as I'm inside you. Love your cunt. Always feels so good."

"Mhmm, just what every girl wants to hear," you say, voice laced with sarcasm.

"What can I say?" He plays up to your humour. "I'm an old-school romantic."

"I'm pretty sure that's how Prince Charming won over Cinderella," you say, all very agreeably. Will chatter absolute nonsense with Jeongguk just for the sake of it whenever you can. You enjoy it. So does he.

"What, by telling her she has a lovely cunt?"

"No, don't be vulgar," you giggle, then put on a deadly serious face. Back straight, voice stoic, you're incredibly poised. Don't even crack a smile as you say, "By nutting in her after, like, ten seconds."

"Ah of course," he grins.

"Every girl loves an underperformer."

Incorrect. If you did, you'd be in Jimin's room right now.

"Maybe I should just flunk my exam then," he jokes a little mindlessly.

"You want every girl to love you, eh?"

You're pretty certain every girl within a 5-metre radius of Jeongguk could fall in love with him. It'd be easy. Incredibly easy.

"No," Jeongguk speaks a little more solemnly now. "One's enough."

And just like that you're reminded of Hayun.

Tilting your head to the side, you're fond as you look at him. Hurts your heart a little bit that still, even now, he's devoted to her. To be loved by Jeongguk must be heavenly. Unwavering. What you wouldn't give to have someone adore you like he does her.

Ruffling his hair, you let the tension between you both crumble away. "You're such a softie."

Just like that, the moment is gone. Jeongguk purses his lips together. Shrugs. Doesn't really know what to say. Just confirms that his feelings always ruin things.

"Shut up," he smiles, but it's not as sincere as it usually is.

You study his face and let your thumbs stroke over the flushed pink marks that linger on his neck. The dainty chain around his neck hides beneath his shirt, just like you're sure the evidence of you will do too in days to come. You've never seen him in a polo-neck, but are certain you will soon.

Hidden away, the impact of you will remain a secret. Just like Seokjin hiding your conditioner in his bathroom cabinet before one of his many girls paid him a visit, Jeongguk will most likely pretend your lips have never been on his skin.

But why should anyone know about his sex life? It's no one's business. It's not like you actively want him to parade the marks left by you, it's just that you want anyone getting too close to know his bed is still warm even if he's not spoken for.

Totally not because you want Hayun knowing. Totally not that at all.

"I should let you get back to studying."

Jeongguk is silent. Nods. Doesn't stop you when you get off his lap. Just spins to face his desk once more.

"Eat your food," you remind him. "And drink your coffee. You'll thank me for it."

He nods again. "Already am thankful. I appreciate it, B."

"So don't let it go to waste," you lightly rib him. "Look after yourself, okay? Only a few more days and then you'll be free."

"Just a few more days," he agrees with a small smile.

"You're gonna smash it."

He shakes his head. Laughs softly. "You think too much of me."

"You think too little of yourself, Gguk," you say a little sternly. "No one ever succeeded by thinking they would fail - so do your revision, smash your exam, and then we can forget all about it, okay?"

The way you group yourself in with him is unintentional, but a clear indicator of the way you feel about Jeongguk. The things that bother him, bother you too. His troubles are your troubles. His successes, your successes.

Just goes with the territory.

Territory of what?

You silence your brain. Don't let it expand. It's a foolish thing to think. Stupid, and untrue, and detrimental to your friendship.

And so you leave him be. Had only ever intended on briefly stopping by. Had never meant to let things get so heated. Was a little silly to let things get so wildly out of control, when you'd planned to drop him off some food and a coffee just to let him know how much of a saint you are in comparison to the Devil in red he seems to prefer.

You wonder if she knows about his exam. Probably not.

The scornful nature of your thoughts whenever Hayun is at the forefront of your mind always leaves you feeling a little disgusted with yourself. Even when Seokjin was getting a little greedy with the cookie jar, you never berated the other women. Just yourself, for not being good enough.

You suppose the circumstances were far different, though. Hayun's proven herself to be awful to you, even if she plays nicely for Jeongguk.

He's wise in so many regards, but so naive in others. Maybe one day he'll realise. Maybe not.

"Hey," you say to Jimin quietly as you enter their kitchen, and nod towards their bin. "I think you need to take the recycling out."

He doesn't. It's barely half-full.

Twisting his handsome face in a little confusion, Jimin says nothing. Uses his facial expression to say ' huh ?'.

You shake your head. Mouth 'just do it' as if you're a Nike brand ambassador.

"Oh," Jimin says, still confused, but playing along. "Yeah. You're right. Let me take the trash out."

He follows behind you as you leave, a small bag of clear plastic in his hands, ready to be tossed on the trash pile outside their apartment block.

Quiet until the elevator doors shut, Jimin finds everything about your visit today curious. In fact, he tells you so almost immediately.

"You're acting weird, DB," he hums, as if that isn't a usual occurrence for you.

"Weird isn't bad," you tell him.

He agrees, but also thinks it's not the point. "Never said it was."

"I need your help with something," you shrug, knowing that he's probably already figured as such. "What are you doing tomorrow evening?"

Jimin doesn't reply immediately. He's watching the elevator tick down; feeling the motion beneath his feet. Knows he's plummeting but doesn't fear it. Has never been one to scare easily, and yet he's apprehensive of your question. He knows Jeongguk hurt you, and that he'll deserve whatever is coming to him, but he also doesn't want Jeongguk to suffer. Not again.

He fears that your attempts to heal yourself will hurt Jeongguk, and as much as he thinks it would be valid and reasonable, he doesn't want his best friend to go through pain like he did before.

"Look, DB, I know things with Gguk are rough-"

"They're fine," you interrupt, because you think they really are. Nobody can gaslight you better than yourself.

"There's no point in lying to me," Jimin laughs at your interjection. "I've seen you both naked. I know the pair of you better than you know yourselves."

"Please can we not talk about us fornicating."

"Please can you never refer to sex as fornicating?"

"Yeah," you grimace. "Fair enough."

"Anyways, beyond the point," Jimin continues without missing a beat. Had mini conversations with you in his head while you were in Jeongguk's room.  Already has it all planned out. "I knew you were fucking. Have known for months that there's been some weird little thing going on between you two, so don't bother even trying to lie, DB."

"Well what do you want me to say?" You sigh, leaning against the elevator wall. You're defeated in your posture, the weight of your Jeongguk-related uncertainty taking its toll.

"You don't have to say anything, " Jimin says. "You have to listen."

"Go on..."

"I know he's an idiot," he starts as the elevator dings and rattles open on the ground floor. Both of you walk a little slowly through the lobby, Jimin setting the pace. He's got important things to say, after all. "You don't need to tell me how much of one he is, I already know. Have lived with him for long enough. Thing is, his heart is always in the right place even if his head isn't. The shit he went through with Hayun really took a toll on him."

You nod, but don't interrupt.

"I see a lot more than he realises. I know the warning signs. I worry that what you have going on..." he pauses. Isn't sure how to phrase it. Sucks a little air between his teeth. There's no way he can be dainty about what he's gonna say, so instead, he just throws caution to the wind. "Look, you and I are both fine with fucking around. Hookups without hang-ups. Gguk... Gguk isn't wired that way-"

"Jimin."

"Uh-uh," he shakes his head. "Said you gotta listen."

"Sorry."

He doesn't say 'forgiven'. Now isn't the time for jokes.

"I know you're nothing like her," he adds, just in case that's what you were thinking. "I wouldn't be so honest with you about this all if I thought you were. I know you really care for him, so I'm asking you as a friend to take a step back and look at this all objectively. If you guys keep hooking up when he's not in a place to be making good choices, it'll-"

"We aren't hooking up anymore," you say quietly, as if it's a secret. Kind of is. Jeongguk doesn't know this yet. "I haven't spoken about it with him yet, but I know something happened with Hayun - which is totally fine, he can do whatever he likes-"

"Is it?"

"Yep," you lie.

"What happened with Hayun?" Jimin asks. Doesn't wanna let on that he knows. As much as he considers you his friend, his loyalties lie with Jeongguk. You expect nothing less.

"Dunno," you shrug, surprised that Jimin doesn't seem to know, but not thinking to ask. If anything, you feel bad for sharing Jeongguk's dirty laundry. "Asked him not to tell me. Ignorance is bliss, right? And with his exam and everything, I just don't wanna be causing fights, y'know? My anger can wait."

"You shouldn't have to withhold your feelings like that."

"I know that - but like you said. I care for him. He's one of my closest friends, Jimin. The sex... was just a dumb way to pass the time when it started," you lie, not wanting to disclose the real nature of your hook-ups with Jeongguk. "I'd still be annoyed about Hayun even if we weren't hooking up, purely for the fact she's a grade-A grated ballsack, and that he even gives her the time of day drives me insane."

Jimin snorts a little. "Grade-A grated ballsack. Haven't heard that one before."

"Tell me I'm wrong," you grin as you stand far closer to the neighbourhood trash pile than is really desirable. "Anyways, I called you down here for a reason."

"Which is...?"

"What are you doing on Tuesday evening?"

---

Jeongguk sits at his examination desk, leg jittering nervously as his heel taps against the floor.

Weeks of revision have led to this point, and yet all he can do is think of you; of how your eyes will light up when he tells you about the questions he aces, and the contemplative thought you'll give when trying to figure out the harder ones he relays to you.

He thinks about your enthusiasm, and how he knows you'll give him the warmest of hugs to celebrate his accomplishments.

He thinks of his kitchen, and how he knows there's a small gift bag addressed to him with a 'DO NOT OPEN UNTIL AFTER YOUR EXAM!!!' warning label on the front of it written in sparkly gel pen. There's a few stickers on there, too. Some stars, and a Kuromi for good measure.

He'll wait until you inevitably come to his place that evening to open it. Knows you gift with intent, and that whatever it is will be perfect.

Jeongguk is, to a certain extent, overcompensating; thinking about you as if you put the stars in the sky. It's like he's trying to make up for the time he spent thinking of you as an earthly being. He knows it couldn't be further from the case, now.

It's romantic, the way angels seem to sing and wind apparently blows in your hair, whenever he thinks of you.

He's letting himself do that, now; letting you be more than a friend, in his head. His heart, too. Isn't brave enough to tell you, yet, mind you. Will indulge in his fantasies a little longer.

Or at least until the curt whistle of an alarm bell, and the rustle of students opening up their exam papers, tears him from them. Picking up his pencil, Jeongguk, for once in his life, has a clear mind. A clear goal. A two-step plan.

1: Ace his exam.

2: See you.

Pencil to paper, he begins to scribble away. One more hour. That's all it will take.

Sixty minutes, and then he'll be on his way to see you.

Sixty minutes, and he'll be heading home.

Not necessarily to his. Just to wherever you are.

'Cause he knows.

Jeongguk knows how he feels.

Is as confident in his feelings as he is in the answer to the first question. The second one, too. 

He's got this.

Got his head in the right place.

Got thoughts of you sitting peacefully in his peripherals while he accesses the revision he's been tucking away over the past few weeks.

Got everything he needs in his brain, and a few specks of your glitter still on his skin to keep him company.

It sparkles in the light that pours in through the examination hall windows - just like the iridescent letters of the banners Jimin is putting up in their living room.

"Like this?" He asks you as he tacks the edge just behind the canvas of your tits that you know Jeongguk really needs to take down before someone works it out. If anyone were to guess, it'd be Jimin, you think. Part of you worries that Taehyung will mention it at some point this evening, and that the truth will unravel while you're not there to cover it all up.

"Like that," you smile, looking at the letters glistening in the mid-afternoon light.

The bunting is simple, just something you put together at work during your downtime - silver text on black paper triangles, reading 'hope u didn't fail :)' . In the kitchen, a small tank of helium hisses as it fills balloons that Taehyung and Danbi are taking turns tying up.

"You didn't do this for my last exam," Danbi pouts a little at all the effort you're going to for Jeongguk.

"Because I threw you parties for both times you failed your driver's test," you remind her. "Didn't wanna throw a third just in case you failed again."

"Third time lucky," she says. "Everyone knows that. You should have had more faith in me."

"And you shouldn't have almost ran over a school kid on your first attempt!"

Danbi hums in mild agreement. "S'pose you're right."

"Sorry, you did what?!" Taehyung almost chokes on the balloon he's manually blowing up.

" Almost !" Danbi exclaims back. " Almost ran over a school kid. Didn't actually do it. Swerved," she smiles, pleased with herself.

You choose not to add in the fact she swerved into a fence and had to pay for repairs to the test car - but you will warn Taehyung against ever giving her his car keys at a later date.

Chatter takes hold of the apartment once more, music humming from the speakers as you prepare the room for Jeongguk's arrival home.

This is the reason you had called Jimin down to the trash pile a few days ago. Heavily aware of the fact Jeongguk seemed to think none of his friends would be making an effort to celebrate his milestone, you wanted him to be reminded of how loved and appreciated he really is.

Just because Jeongguk hasn't felt your wrath over what you assume happened with Hayun doesn't mean you didn't have any. While stewing in your feelings, you'd chosen to make alternative plans on the evening of his exam.

Wish you hadn't now, but it's a consequence of his actions.

"Sure you can't stay?" Jimin asks quietly as it all begins to come together. Their living room looks fit for a party, and it makes you sad you won't be able to experience it with them all.

Nodding, you hide your regret well. "Can't cancel on my plans."

Jimin frowns slightly. "I think you can."

You know that you can.

It'll only take a single text - and yet you don't want to. Petty when wronged, you know you didn't have to make plans for this evening. You only kept it free in the first place for Jeongguk - but now you're filling it with someone else, because it's exactly what he did in your absence.

It's deserved, you think, and yet you also think he deserves the world.

You can't give him that, though.

Jimin was right. You're not made for the kind of thing Jeongguk is.

You used to be. Would be nice to think that you could be like that again one day, but you're just not ready yet. It's not fair for you to withhold Jeongguk from the kind of affection that he craves so deeply. He's made to be adored. Made of stardust. Made for you to have, but not for you to keep.

It's selfish of you to prevent him from having what he deserves. You're a hindrance to his life, you think.

Funny, really, how wrong you are.

Across town he's scribbling down notes on a hypothetical glitter brand and how they would strategize promotional events for a new product launch. Knows more about cosmetics branding than he ever did before he met you, due to the fact he's never met someone so susceptible to cute marketing and branding as you.

The second you see something a little glittery, you have to have it. Will moan about being a slave to capitalism each and every time, but won't stop yourself from making the purchase, and then saying some bullshit about serotonin afterwards.

Even now, you're helping him; giving him answers to a 25-mark question that he knows he would have stared at for a good five minutes had he not been distracted by your glitter.

You're not a hindrance. Thoughts about you don't negatively impact him. Not at all.

As you leave his apartment block, you worry that you've made a mistake by organising a surprise celebration for him. Worry that maybe he'll just want to go home and crash after his exam. Worry that he'll be annoyed with it.

Still, you won't have to deal with it if he is. You won't be there. You'll be downtown in a crowded room, sitting across from a man who is so handsome you're not actually sure he exists.

If you hadn't already met Seojoon, you'd have assumed he was a catfish. No man looks that good, is that tall, carries himself with that much charm, without having something to hide.

And yet in all the messages he's sent over the past few days, there's been no red flags. He's got a good sense of humour, and isn't too over-keen in his texts, but also makes it clear that he wants to see you. Doesn't care when you take a while to reply, and also doesn't put his life on hold just to reply to you.

His flags are as green as the sky is blue - but pollution is bad today. The sky is grey.

Much like the truth of your feelings for Jeongguk, the horizon is hidden. It'll remain this way until the next storm passes through.

The weather forecasters don't seem to have one predicted for a little while yet, mind you.

And so Jeongguk walks home with a smile on his face, ignorant of the pollution clouding up the sky. No text pings through from you, but he doesn't mind. You've been more concerned about his exam than anyone else, so if you're away from your phone, it's for good reason.

He tries his best to ignore the irritated feeling beneath his ribs that something is amiss. He's no stranger to the sensation, but it always makes him overthink.

Is something more important? You know when his exam was due to finish. Don't you care? Aren't you going to ask him how it went?

A small sliver of his brain indulges in a 'what if' scenario: what if you're already waiting at his place to surprise him? To congratulate him?

In all honesty, his head's been so frazzled recently that all he really wants to do is sleep, but he also doesn't really wanna think about his bed if you're not in it. Doesn't wanna fuck - too tired for that - just wants your company. No change to usual, really.

It's curious how when you first met, it was the 'what ifs ' of who you are - who you could be - that intrigued Jeongguk.

He knows exactly who you are now, and it only makes him like the scenarios he imagines up even more.

Thing is, real life always seems to be better than his imagination.

It's why he's walking with a stupid grin plastered all over his face; why he's got a little bound in step as he goes. He can't wait to get home.

And it's also why the destination isn't important. Home could be the art studio. Could be his bedroom. Could be yours.

All that matters is that you'll be there.

He decides to play it safe, and heads in the direction of his apartment block, 'cause he knows better than to show up at yours unannounced. Sends through a text - I'm FREEEEEEEE!! - when he's going up the elevator to his place. Smiles so brightly he might cause a power outage. Can finally relax.

Funnily enough, your posture is anything but relaxed as your phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of you.

Downtown at an over-priced, under-decorated excuse of an artisan coffee house, you're cursing yourself for not putting your phone on silent.

"Oh, don't ignore it on my behalf," Seojoon smiles as he sits opposite you, dressed in a casual but clean hoodie and a pair of slacks. He's got just the right balance of comfort and style, putting him right at home in such a pretentious little joint - not that he's pretentious, just that he's got the kind of face that wouldn't look out of place on a billboard or in a high-fashion magazine.

"It's probably just your friends making sure you're safe," he adds. "Please let them know I'm not a creep."

You smile and roll your eyes. "You met a few of them already, remember? They know you aren't."

"Sending pick-up lines at a pocha doesn't exactly scream 'not a creep', does it?" He cringes, twiddling with the paper wrapper of his drinks straw. Nerves, it would seem, affect even the most forward of men.

"Maybe not," you tease in good humour. "But your friends did say you save cats from trees at the weekend, and I'm hoping that turns out to be true."

Holding out the hand that isn't messing with his wrapper, Seojoon proudly displays a small pink scratch on the top of his hand. It's no bigger than a penny, but it's almost identical to the scratches you often see on Yoongi's hands, thanks to Oduun.

"Wait," you laugh, a little confused but incredibly bemused. "There's no way..."

"Yeah, I can't lie," he laughs too. Wanted to play up to the joke, but can't fib to save his life. "Just caught my hand on a sharp edge at work."

It's endearing, the way he broke into honesty almost immediately. You'd have kept it up for at least a good five minutes, if not the whole date, if you were him. Would have really laid it on thick. Kind of like when you and Jeongguk tell stupid lies and just keep them going because you find it funny.

But it's Seojoon you're finding funny now, and banish all thoughts of your friend. Your friend who you feel friendly towards. Friend , who wouldn't want you thinking about him on a date.

"You almost had me there," you tell him. "Could have fooled me all night."

"Best not to start things with a bare-faced lie," he shrugs, a soft smile on his boyish lips. He's sincere, and you like that. Think that he's got a good head on those broad shoulders of his.

"Okay then," you challenge him. "Tell me about your work. How'd you actually scratch your hand?"

"Funny story," he says as he leans forward to take a sip on his coffee. "So there was a cat stuck in a tree-"

"Oh, give over," you laugh and so does he.

There's a comfortable nature to your conversation. Seojoon is as easygoing as his smile is bright. You're in a crowded room, but there are no distractions from him. None that exist outside of your brain, at least.

"Okay, okay, that was another lie," he admits, as if he needs to. "Sorry. Nah, I'm a mechanical engineer. Been relocated to a new plant for a few months, so was doing site inspections of the workplace. Nothing major, or exciting."

"Yeah, you're right," you deadpan. "The story could have used more cats."

"I knew it!" Seojoon laughs. "Shouldda just lied. While we're on the subject, though - cat or dog person?"

And just like that, he's back in your head again. Quite unwelcome, too.

Dogs. She loves dogs.

The sound of Jeongguk's voice in the entryway of the Min's home echoes in your mind. It's a fond memory. Left such a mark on your soul that you can almost feel the weight of his hands squeezing your shoulders.

Those same hands - the ones you know so intimately - are squeezing down on the handle of his front door, now. He thinks nothing of the silence on the other side of the door. Assumes Jimin is out. Tosses his bag down and kicks off his shoes. Lets out a sigh so large that it's a miracle his lungs have any air left in them.

Rounding the corner from the entryway and into the kitchen Jeongguk is surprised to see the countertop covered in things - but doesn't get enough time to even squeak out a little confusion before the overhead lights flood the room, and all his friends are jumping out from behind furniture.

A chorus of 'surprise' echoes around the room, with the occasional cheer. There are smiles, and waving hands - even a little confetti.

And yet Jeongguk notices almost immediately: there's no glitter.

Well, there is. It's on the banner hanging above the television. 'Hope u didn't fail :)'. Your handwriting.

But there aren't any stars. That's what's missing. You.

He doesn't get a chance to dwell on it, for the boys are bundling around him, scratching at his head, lightly tussling with him in the way that boys so often do. It's as affectionate as they'll get - but they know they have to be on the best behaviour tonight. Gotta make sure Jeongguk has fun. You gave them strict orders. Danbi and Seoyeon will be keeping an eye on them to make sure it happens.

As they watch on with soft smiles, Seoyeon sighs. "She should be here."

Danbi just nods. "I know."

But she also knows there's no way in hell you're gonna be spending an extended period of time in a confined space with Hayun - especially not if Jeongguk is around. It's been proven to you that he's holding her in the top spot, still. His actions have spoken louder than words.

So you had made sure to let her know she was very much invited. Sent her the invite yourself. Even told her that you wouldn't be there, to make sure there was nothing stopping her - though you doubt it would have regardless. She came back into your lives like a fucking steamroller. It's a miracle she hasn't flattened the life out of you entirely.

Jeongguk is so directed by the lack of glitter that he doesn't notice the glaring red flag straight ahead of him.

But she notices the ones in front of her.

Everyone does.

Except they're not red. They're pink and purple.

And they're on his neck.

"Fucking hell," Yoongi laughs as he prods at them. Jeongguk bats him away, cringing, scrunching his shoulders up in an attempt to hide his neck. Had forgotten all about them. Had sat in his fucking exam hall with hickeys on show. Thank fuck he never has to return - or at least not until graduation.

"Stop," Jeongguk whines. "It's just a bruise."

Jimin laughs like a cartoon character, now. Nearly falls off the barstool he's perched upon. Knows exactly who gave Jeongguk those hickeys and while he may not think the pair of you hooking up is a good idea, he loves that Hayun is getting a taste of her own medicine.

"Christ," Seoyeon whispers. "Do you think it was..."

"I don't have a clue," Danbi whispers right back. Hopes it was. Thinks you'll kind of be a bit gutted if Jeongguk is seeing someone else. You don't go to all this effort for someone you don't adore, after all - even if you are on a date with someone else.

Perhaps it would be hypocritical if you were to be saddened by it - but Danbi also knows that this date could have been scheduled at any time. Didn't have to be today. Maybe you are avoiding him. Maybe the hickeys on his neck are the reason why.

Danbi frowns as she watches the boys rib Jeongguk over the state of his neck. Hates that Hayun had little to no reaction. Can't work out if she's to blame or not.

In a way, she kind of was. Had it not been for Jeongguk getting all caught up on her, you never would have given them to him.

And as your phone buzzes while Seojoon is in the bathroom, with a message from Danbi that is literally just thirteen question marks and the words 'was it you?' , you know exactly what she's asking.

You leave it unread. Will tell her tomorrow, or something.

What a pickle you're in.

Giving Jeongguk hickeys probably wasn't the best idea you've ever had. Going on a date when in such a muddle over your feelings also probably is a bad decision. Not being with Jeongguk to celebrate his achievements? Probably the worst of all.

You feel like a shitty friend.

When Seojoon returns, you feel like a shitty date. Your mind is only semi-present. He deserves a little more than what you're able to give. It's always been a problem, ever since Seokjin. Thought that maybe you'd done enough with Jeongguk to get over these doubts and insecurities, but they eat up you. Tell you that Seojoon is having a miserable time, even if he's quite literally laughing at the jokes you're making. Your demons are cruel, and careless. They don't care if hurting you could hurt other people, too.

And so even though Seojoon does everything right - is the perfect gentleman - you insist on catching a cab at the end of the night instead of letting him walk you home.

You just don't like the expectations that come with something like that. Don't wanna have to kiss someone. Don't wanna fuck them, either.

You're just not ready.

A failure, still.

Companionship, and the desire to have it, feels like the most human of traits. It's around you constantly. At work, you're forever confronted by happy couples. In clubs, walking down the street, wedged between Jeongguk and Jimin during hangover The Notebook viewing parties. Love and the romantic ideals that come with it are everywhere, except for within you.

You consider replying to Danbi eventually, the quiet of your apartment especially lonesome, when you're feeling so down, but you don't want to drag her away from the party.

In your head, your friends will all be having a whale of a time.

In reality? They are.

But they're also all too drunk and invested in a game of Cards Against Humanity to notice Jeongguk slipping out. He just needs some air, or at least that's what he tells himself. Texts Jimin so that he won't worry. Doesn't give specifics. Just says he needed to clear his head.

Somehow, in pursuit of peace, Jeongguk ends up at your door.

He texts first before he knocks, thinking it's best to give you a little warning, but doesn't realise 5 seconds isn't a large enough buffer time.

There's CCTV right outside your door in the hallway, so you never worry too much about random knocks late at night. You assume Danbi's just forgotten to door code in her drunken haze, or something dumb like that.

Sleepily pulling your door open, it takes you a second to register who you're looking at. Dark hair hidden by a pale beanie to protect his ears from the harsh winter winds, you've never seen him look so sweet.

In the murky darkness of your apartment hallway - the overhead lights still out - Jeongguk's eyes seem to sparkle a little.

But of course they do.

He's looking at you: his disco ball personified. It doesn't really seem like you've got much of a party in you tonight, though. You've taken your glitter off already. There are only rogue specks on your skin, now.

The shirt you're wearing - one that finishes midway down your thighs - isn't one of Jeongguk's. He doesn't like the way this makes him feel. You have plenty of his shirts, 'cause you're a little klepto every time you leave his place. Must have half his t-shirt collection within your possession, at this point. If he were to ever make an issue of it, you'd just argue back that there's a handful of your bras at his place. He tucks them away in the back of his top drawer for safekeeping, never intending on becoming their owner. He just doesn't want Jimin to see them, and then forgets that they're even there.

There is one that he likes a little more than the others, though. He doesn't forget about it, for he keeps tucked beneath his pillow when you aren't at his.

First finding its way beneath his pillow accidentally, after a fuck that neither of you bothered getting fully undressed for, it kind of became at home in his bed. Even when he changes his sheets, he tosses the underwear back down before he puts his pillows in place. Will never tell you how he sometimes holds it close on the nights he misses you. Just smells like your perfume. He likes it. That's all.

Should have realised that missing you throughout the night was the first warning sign of his developing feelings. Regrets not becoming aware of it sooner.

Wonders if maybe you'd be wearing his shirt now, instead.

His eyes drop to the floor as his lips part, a little unsure of what to say. In his head, and in the silly little thoughts that he'd indulged in on the way over, you'd have opened the door with a great big smile on your face.

You just look a little shocked, instead, he thinks. Shakes his head subtly. Goes to speak, but his lips can't form words.

"My best friend," he eventually says and looks up at you once more. "She missed my surprise party."

There's a forlorn nature to his gaze; crestfallen.

You could be petty. Say something about Hayun.

And yet you can't bring yourself to. Not now.

"She did at least throw you a surprise party," you offer a little sheepishly.

He nods. Takes a second to formulate a reply, and then finally says, "Can I come in?"

You give him no verbal response; just hold the door a little further open.

He welcomes himself in, shoes left by your door, feet padding across the living room and into the sanctuary of your bedroom. Watching as he goes, you can't help but think your apartment is far more lovely with the addition of a Virgo. Feels much more like a home should. You're not sure if that will make sense to anyone but you. Will blame your feelings on the stars because it's far more convenient than attributing them to a man.

But he's your best friend. Of course he feels like home to you. It's only natural.

Just like your room feels like a safe place for him. Just like he doesn't feel the need to ask permission to take off his shirt and kick his trousers across to the chair which houses your clothes pile (or working-wardrobe, as you like to call it). Just like the way gets into your bed and shuffles over to your side, only to find it feels wrong, so he shuffles back to his own side.

You have those, now.

Sides. Toothbrushes in each other's bathrooms. Hairbands on desks and unused bar wristbands on bedside tables. Pockets emptied at the end of the night; uncarefully re-stuffed in the morning, for there's always the promise of a return. Nothing left in your room will ever be lost to him. Not really.

Foolishly, he hopes that maybe your heart could be included in that, too.

In his room, there's a stain of black paint on his white walls, his handprint a forever memory. A mark just as potent is on his heart. Your handprint, this time. Secure around his most vital of organs. Keeping him safe. Keeping him hostage. Or just simply, keeping him.

"Don't remember saying you could stay," you sigh with a thinly-veiled adoration as you lean against your doorframe, arms folded.

"What's mine is yours," he simply huffs into your sheets. They smell like your shampoo. His tummy feels all funny.

"We're not married."

"Maybe we should be," he continues pouting. "Tax benefits."

"Y'know it's not a bad idea if we're short on cash," you suppose. "Invite everyone we know and request cash instead of gifts."

Jeongguk smiles. God, he missed you tonight. "She's a schemer."

"Lucky you," you tease back. "Your bride is a money maker."

He's just joking. You know it. Also know he has a marriage pact with Hayun, so know that there's no permanence that comes with dating Jeongguk. Would always just end up shafted to the side in favour of her.

"The brains and the brawn," he says with a tender smile as you clamber over him and into your bed. He's got his arm hooked around your waist before you've even managed to shuffle into a comfy position - but big spoon Jeongguk is always comfy. He's stroppy when he says, "don't like your shirt."

He's such a baby. Rolling your eyes, it makes you smile. "We've both got brains. You're our revision extraordinaire. And what's wrong with my shirt? I like it."

It's nothing special. Just a big dark shirt from a skate shop down by the coast. You've no idea of the brand, just knew you liked the design.

Most importantly?

It's yours. Not some other dudes, like you're guessing Jeongguk thinks it is.

"Think the revision melted my brain," he admits, then shrugs, holding you a little closer. "Just don't like the shirt."

It's a lie. He really likes it.

Just hates that it might be Seokjin's.

You sort of figure as much. Won't tell him otherwise. Will let him sweat it out for a bit.

"You feel better? Now the exam is done?" You ask earnestly, not entertaining the shirt discussion any further. You aren't taking it off.

"Just wanna sleep, if I'm being honest," he says softly. "Wanted to see you after the exam, but also just wanted to sleep."

"Shit," you grimace, feeling a little guilty about the party. "I did think of that, but not until after I'd arranged it all. Sorry you couldn't sleep."

He shrugs. "It was nice. Was fun. And anyways, I can sleep now."

Jeongguk wants to ask where you were tonight. Doesn't want to know the answer.

"I never gave you permission to stay." You remind him.

He frowns. You're being argumentative, and while he normally enjoys it, all he wants is comfort, now. Is pouty, when he asks, "Can I?"

There's a lot that you and Jeongguk need to discuss. So much to talk about. For now, though, you'll let it slide one final time.

"Yeah. You can."

You'll lament your choices in the morning. Berate yourself for not telling him to sling his hook.

You'll be unaware of the life that could have unfolded if you had told him to leave; be none the wiser of the shame and embarrassment that would come with your rejection of his need to be with you. If you could see your futures, you'd thank your present self for picking this path. For picking him.

Because even though you don't think you have , you will. Again and again, you'll pick Jeongguk, because it's what the stars intend.

For now, the stars will watch on and smile. Some may even shoot through the sky, begging for you both to wish upon them.

Fruitless endeavours. You're both asleep within fifteen minutes of his arrival. Safe. Secure.

Stupidly besotted.

Painfully oblivious. 

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E14 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Content warning: Discussion on sexual harassment, assault, and rape

My character/location cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lady Gyokuyou - Precious consort

Hongniang - Lady Gyokuyou's attendant

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's pavilion

Concubine Lihua - Wise Consort

Concubine Loulan - the new Pure Consort

Lady Lishu - child bride concubine

Lakan - mysterious officer

Lihaku - young military officer

Pairin - one of the princesses of Verdigris House

Opening. Like with many of the openings in this show, I don't know what is happening yet. But it is visually and musically stunning. The strings bowing out some poignant melody while a woman under a red umbrella crosses a nearly colorless courtyard with her retinue. I'm guessing this must be the new concubine. Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the crown that Lady Ah-Duo wore. This lady ditches it as soon as she comes into the Garnet Pavilion. I wonder how she feels about being made into the newest high ranking concubine. Her face is revealing nothing to me.

I don't know what Lady Gyokuyou is up to, but I love her, so I'm looking forward to whatever "good timing," she's trying to take advantage of. Probably trying to see Maomao I'm guessing.

Oh good, Maomao is planting her own herb garden. Perfect! Finally a way to start to make a place for herself in Jinshi's world. Maybe she can find a way to fit in here. Suiren doesn't care about this garden though, she wants Maomao to clean the office. And I'm starting to wonder if this lonely residence is maybe not as great for Maomao as the Jade Pavilion was. Back in the Jade Pavilion, Maomao was surrounded by people who cared about her and supported her. That isn't to say that Suiren won't, but who else even lives here? Gaoshun? I mean there is Jinshi of course, but I'd like to know she fits in with more than just him.

Turns out Jinshi is in the office that Maomao is meant to clean, so maybe Suiren is just trying to push Jinshi and Maomao together.

Something truly screwy has happened. Maomao has been selected to teach the new Pure Consort. What they want her to teach, I don't know. Probably not poisons. As it turns out, Lady Gyokuyou has written a recommendation for Maomao. A chance to get Maomao back into the Rear Palace so they can all see her maybe? Oh haha, Lady Lihua, wants her back too! Well Maomao did teach Lady Lihua something useful! Terrific! Maomao, who just failed her exam to be a court lady, is now highly recommended to teach the new high ranking concubine. Incredible.

Before Maomao had walked in, Jinshi called the situation "perplexing," followed by a frustrated or maybe thoughtful hum. Then when Maomao arrived Jinshi definitely made a frustrated sound. Was he upset that he would most likely need to send her out of his residence, and back to the Rear Palace? Was he upset that this seems like a blatant excuse for those concubines to see her? Or maybe he's upset that she failed her exam to be a court lady, because she does show up ready to clean his office, carrying all of her cleaning equipment.

Jinshi: The Rear Palace has set it's mind to the Concubine's education. And they selected you to be the teacher. Maomao: That's a good one.

Maomao, doesn't see how she could be good enough for a position like this. It must be a joke.

Jinshi: I'm not joking here.

And, oh yeah, he's not happy. He doesn't like that two of the top concubines have forced his hand like this. And maybe he also doesn't like Maomao's self deprecating attitude He sends her off so abruptly, that it seems curt. And what the hell is Jinshi's issue? Why is he acting like this with Maomao? Maybe he is just uncertain what to do with her. She's so capable at certain things, and yet... there are certain things she just won't or can't do. She's a highly requested teacher to the top concubines in the rear palace, yet she can't pass the test to become a court lady. Maybe that is what has Jinshi so annoyed. Maybe he can get over himself, while Maomao goes on her mission.

Does Maomao still owe money to Verdigris House? WTF. Maomao tries to stealthily change her wages but Suiren immediately shuts that down, even though Jinshi was willing to pay her more.

Jinshi seems excited about Maomao's class now and wants to see what teaching supplies she is bringing to the Rear Palace and Maomao becomes defensive.

Maomao: Under no circumstances can he see these!

What does she have in there? Maybe it's some courtesan stuff. Perhaps she's going to try to teach the new consort some brothel tricks?

Maomao insists on pulling her own cart. Maybe she didn't realize that Jinshi and Gaoshun would also be coming to the Rear Palace or she wants to be sure no one gets a chance to look at the racy goods she's transporting.

Jinshi is received like a celebrity, with lines of adoring fans all hoping to catch a glimpse and make a comment about his appearance. He puts on a smile and laughs, but I think he hates this. Maybe Maomao should draw some freckles on him.

And maybe this is a good time to take a closer look at what Jinshi's experiences have been with sexual harassment. I have @cjrae and @teaflowsthroughthesesims to thank for opening my eyes to some things in the comments section of the last blog.

Jinshi has been getting this kind of reaction to his appearance for a long time. I'm realizing now why he was so excited to have Maomao glare at him in one of the early episodes. People so often look at him and see his beauty, but not the person. He has never had to worry about that with Maomao. Her absolute lack of self value means she never considered for a moment that Jinshi would see her as a viable romantic partner, and so therefor never bothered to look at him with a lustful eye. It's rather sad that that was a novel experience for Jinshi.

We know that his own female servants have tried to leave their underwear in his closet. I've learned that the undergarment made of human hair is meant to be a love spell. How utterly fucked up. Just as bad is the fact that people have tried to sneak aphrodisiacs into his food before. Maomao identified one for him way back in episode 2. I did not realize that when he asked Maomao to make an aphrodisiac that he would be using that to retaliate against the male officer that gave him the drugged food, and it becomes apparent that he did when we hear the rumor about a man who "hates women" that was seduced by servant girl. I've been taught that "hates women" is a euphemism for gay men. So Jinshi has been experiencing sexual harassment from both men and women, and it ranges from lascivious comments that he hears on the street like we see in this scene, to very intimate acts like the undergarment in his own drawer and food that was given to him. It's one of the reasons Gaoshun attends him everywhere. Perhaps Maomao should be a food taster for Jinshi.

I can't help but think about the moment when Jinshi gave Maomao his hair pin. She had just explained her story of being captured and sold, but also about how she had been sexually harassed. He probably felt a powerful empathy with her then. Imagine what it would mean for him to share his own experiences with her.

Jinshi wants to attend Maomao's sex ed class, but she literally pushes him out the door. Delightful. She says they are going to be discussing sensitive womanly issues, so, cool, maybe Maomao is the right choice for this class. She might actually teach these ladies something. Maybe prevent a few UTIs and yeast infections.

Lady Gyokuyou is so happy that her favorite romcom Maomao is back. Maomao knows everyone in the room, other than the new concubine, Lady Loulan and her attendant.

Maomao shares a book that gets blushes all around the room, as well as a few more dramatic reactions, so it's got to be something she learned at the brothel. The new lady seems to be ignoring Maomao?

Jinshi has his ear pressed to the door, like a creep. Is he worried about what Maomao will teach these ladies, or just curious about what she knows? Maomao bust him trying to listen in. When he finally sees what's going on in the room, he's not so sure he should have agreed to all of this. Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua seem pleased, but Lady Lishu is traumatized, and most of the attendants are freaking out. Only Lady Loulan seems unfazed. What is her deal any way. All I've seen her do so far is discard her crown in the opening scene, yawn, gaze off at nothing, discard the book Maomao gave her, and ignore everything around her. Is she bored? Depressed? Does she have a disability? Maybe she isn't ignoring everyone, maybe she literally can't hear them? Of maybe she can't understand the language? It would explain why she's not moved by anything being said and why the book is of no interest to her. Maomao did point out that her clothes are of a foreign style. I can't figure her out. Maomao says that Lady Loulan is unreadable. Agreed.

Maomao actually seems pretty pleased as she lays down to sleep. She's giggling about her bonus, and I have to appreciate her commitment to avarice.

The hell? Was that an explosion? Maomao thinks to investigate, but then gives up at the thought of Suiren. How much impact does Suiren have on Maomao's behavior? Is Maomao afraid she'll get in trouble with Suiren? Is this a good influence that is keeping Maomao from behaving recklessly, or is it a bad influence that stymies her curiosity and impulse to help others?

We get a name to the mysterious man from last episode, Master Lakan. He's investigating the explosion and has found that opium pipe from last episode. His face says he knows something, but when someone asks if he found something, he says no. Is he involved with this explosion somehow? Is he going to cover up some piece of evidence? Is he an investigator in the palace? If so than he probably will cross paths with Maomao at some point, since she can't help but get involved in mysteries.

Maomao is working in Jinshi's office today. She's surprised to see how much work falls to a eunuch of the Rear Palace. And for fuck's sake Maomao, the man is so clearly not just a Rear Palace eunuch. I think she must be intentionally delusional about this. She's already figured out part of the puzzle that is Jinshi's background but chose to discard it. Perhaps the truth is too intimidating for Maomao to face.

Because if she were to accept who and what Jinshi is, that would probably be the end of all of this. It would widen the gulf between them as Jinshi was worried about a few episodes ago. It's something Maomao is also very worried about. She's being very careful that she doesn't do anything that will force them to part.

Jinshi is so obvious with his attraction to Maomao, and Maomao is so reserved, that it can often seem like this is a one sided relationship. Maomao doesn't dare think about her feelings for Jinshi, much less speak or act on them. To get an idea of what she's feeling, we have to make some assumptions. But they aren't totally unfounded, we can see evidence of Maomao's feelings in some of the choices she makes, and in some of the actions she takes, even if we may be waiting a real long time for her to think about or verbalize them.

Maomao has managed to secure herself a position here in Jinshi's residence, in a position that keeps her close to him. She chose to come back to the palace. She gave up the people she calls family in the Pleasure District, and the career she loves as an apothecary to return to the palace. And yes, she thought she was going to be working in the Rear Palace, but she's not complaining about being in Jinshi's residence instead. In fact she's planting her herbs in the yard. She's literally and metaphorically putting down roots here.

Though Maomao thinks she's not worth the affections of a eunuch official, she has still managed to build a rapport with Jinshi. They can banter, and solve mysteries together hold each other when they're drunk and sad. She likes that he encourages her to use her skills, that he appreciates her abilities, that he pushes her out of the places she hides, so that she can grow. And for Maomao that's pretty nice actually. All of it is more than she would hope for from him. It's a beautiful dream, that falls apart if Jinshi is more than a simple palace official. Because even as a simple official, she's taking more than she deserves. It's completely inappropriate already. If he's a prince... there really, really isn't a place for her in that world. So she holds on where she can for now, and takes what is offered, and very carefully does not think about Jinshi's true identity.

Also, because Jinshi is a "eunuch" he is safe for Maomao. She has some serious fears around sex. When she told us about being sexually harassed she said that nothing ever came of it, and I do think that being attacked, even if she was not raped is enough to cause this level of trauma. There could be more though. She told that story to a pavilion full of people, it's highly likely that if there were a more serious story about sexual assault that she may not have told it so publicly. Regardless of the origins, Maomao has sexual trauma. As a "eunuch," Jinshi would not be able to assault her that way, even if she thought he were willing to. So, it's easier for Maomao to continue to believe an increasingly unbelievable delusion, than to deal with her trauma.

I am so here for the Gaoshun-Maomao dynamic. Gaoshun is mothering "Xiaomao" and making sure she stays warm, because it's cold outside after all. Maomao is once again thinking about what a catch Gaoshun is. You know, if things don't work out with Jinshi, then Gaoshun could be a nice runner up.

Oh and Jinshi has noticed all of that! He's literally growling. Back the hell up off his girl Gaoshun! Oh my god this is a hilarious scene. Now Gaoshun is claiming the cloak and thoughtfulness came from Jinshi. I wonder if next time, Jinshi doesn't get up and bring her a cloak himself, rather than sending Gaoshun.

Maomao: To need permission to give warm clothes to a chilly servant. Talk about bureaucracy.

Holy hell, her ability to misread a situation... is just... mindboggling. I know her confidence is nil, she is incapable of seeing Jinshi's affection for her, but the mental gymnastics required to come up with other possible explanations is a lot.

Once again, medicinal herbs have drawn Maomao to the military officers side of the palace grounds. She happened to run into Lihaku. Jinshi is not going to like that.

Lihaku fell in love during his night at Verdigris House, and now he has dedicated himself to his career advancement so he can buy another night with Pairin. But in the meantime he drinks frugally with other girls hoping to catch a glimpse of his love.

Maomao says she's been transferred to a palace official's personal quarters.

Lihaku: Transferred huh? And to such a thankless detail. Maomao: Yup, I've gathered that much.

Something didn't seem right here, so I switched from the English dub to the Japanese with English subtitles and got:

Lihaku: Personal quarters? Who's crazy enough to do that? Maomao: Yeah, I wonder the same.

This is really not an important scene, so I'm not sure why I'm so hung up on it, but I think something is probably lost in translation. I think what Lihaku is implying is that the move is a bad one for Maomao. It's not as prestigious as working for a high ranking concubine in the Rear Palace. In a private residence how will a servant stand out or advance? Lihaku is all about climbing the ranks, and he pities Maomao for getting stuck in a position where she can't. Maomao has gathered that this position isn't one to bring her career advancement, but she doesn't cares about that, it's not why she wanted to return to the palace or why she is finding contentment in her new job. So she pokes fun at herself yeah I guess I am crazy for taking this position, not because she's missing out on a chance to advance her career, but because she's given up on other options for her life like being an apothecary in the Pleasure District, to take a risk in the palace.

There was a fire last night, the origins of which are unknown. Maomao cannot resist a mystery. Maomao surmises that it was an explosion and that the military suspects arson. Maomao finds that same opium pipe that Lakan did. She has an idea, and now she just needs to prove it. She asks Lihaku to bring her a few things. Maomao builds a very nice wooden box, and Lihaku compliments her. She remembers a time when she was young, at home with Luomen while he examines a box. Maomao uses her box to demonstrate how improperly stored powder such as flour can be combustible. She surmises that someone went into the warehouse to light a pipe and accidentally caused the explosion.

Damn I like watching her work.

Lihaku: How is it you know these kind of things. Maomao: Simple. I once blew up a room at the Verdigris House experimenting with powders. Lihaku: You're a menace.

I don't know if Lihaku is taking personal offense to her causing trouble at the brothel where the love of his life lives, or if he just thinks she's weird and dangerous. Either way, I don't think Jinshi has anything to worry about when it comes to Maomao and Lihaku. I'm looking forward to him be jealous about this anyway.

Maybe I do understand how she can still owe the Verdigris House, if she has destroyed rooms in the building before...

Maomao kept the fancy pipe, accidentally of course, we've all forgotten about her klepto-urges a couple episodes ago, right? I can't help but think that keeping this pipe is a mistake. There is a lot that could go wrong if someone finds that in her things. She could be accused of using opium to start, but she could also be accused of stealing it, selling drugs, associating with nefarious people, or who knows what else. I don't like that she has it. She considers returning it. I hope she does.

The final scene is of a man having a break down in an eatery. He breaks something and cries about being "worthy too." I don't know who he is, but the other dude who looks back over his shoulder looks familiar. Was he around when Sir Kuonen died? Do we have a serial killer in the palace? Or maybe an assassin?

Want to start from the beginning: Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 15

[chubbypie]

The play.

Teachers pet, kinda enemy to lovers.

Part 1.

Sumarry: you try for the role of Juliet at your university´s annual big play. But there is one problem, Professor Hiddleston. The man seems to hate you. And you don't have a clue why.

Warnings: none, yet 😏

Ps: It's my first time writing a two parts pece. English is not my first language, so pardon me if there are things incoherent. Hope you all have a blissful time reading it!!!

Wc: 3.5k

It was the last week of November, and the casting for the annual famous University´s play had started. And you though about trying for the main role.

As the day of the audition came, you and your friend, Amy, headed to the university´s theater. She wasn´t going to audition, she just went to support you.

As you entered the theater, it was full of girls. You told yourself that you were trying it just for fun, but deep in your mind, you knew you wanted the role. You started to panic. But the real anxiety came when you saw him, Professor Hiddleston, seating at the casting committee. Now you knew you surely wouldn´t get the role.

" Amy, look who is one of the casting people. It´s him!"

" y/n, he doesn´t hate you."

"Of course he does. Since the first day i stepped at this university! All my essays are short commented, rudely comented, i could say. I never got a maximum grade, no matter how hard i tryed, it´s like he has something against me."

"You do think highly of yourself, y/n. He has hundred of students, but he will not like specially you. He would search your essay between all of then to screw your grade." Your best friend said with sarcasm. You knew she was probably right. But still, it was to much of a coincidence. Two years of him being your teacher and always the same results.

Of course you wouldn´t confront him about it. Who were you to do something like that? He was the head of his departament, in one of the best colleges of the world! Probaly he would tell you how lucky you are to be in his class and maybe you didn´t studied enough, that´s why you didn´t get a maximum grade.

In reality, you were one of the best students of your class, only loosing to some guy who was repeting the semester. Nobody got maximum grade on his exams, but you got so close so many times that it bothered you. One time, you even saw him talking to some other girl, complementing her essay, saying it was well written, and with good arguments. She didn´t even went that well at his classes! You grew to hate him after some time. If you couldn´t please him, even giving your soul at your texts, you decided to start to ignore him at all.

It was your time to get on stage. With script in hand, you got up the stairs and looked forward, seeing him and other two female professors. Behind then was Amy, all smiles and thumbs up, mouthering for you to relax and have fun. The play this year would be Romeo and Juliet, following the tradition of always beeing some Sheakspeare one. The Romeo was already casted, and they were seeing who would have more chemistry with him. He got close to you and greeted. "Nice to meet you, i´m Ivan"

"Nice to meet you too, i´m y/n."

"You are so lucky you are already casted." You say with a smile and he chuckles. "Good luck." He says before the professors interupt your chat so you could begin the audution.

When you got out of the stage, one of the professors told you that the resoults would be anounced in a couple of days.

"How was i?" You asked Amy as you walked through the halls of the building. "You were good. I believe the odds are in your favor. By the way, how did you feel being on stage, even for an audition? Did you like it?"

"It feels incredible! It´s like i am a child againg and i´m playing some game, and you really get in to the spirit of the game, you know. I remember that one day a classmate of mine told me i wasn´t so good at it, so i desanimated, but i think i´ll try again this time." You confessed, but you put a smile on your face in the end.

"Do not listen to others, i bet that person was just a mean kid. Never listen to negative people." Amy said as she put a hand on your shoulder. You two lived at the same buildind, but not at the same floor. However, you spent all time togheter.

A couple of days passed, and you received the notice that you didn´t get the role. You spent the day upset, with Amy trying to cheer you up by buying you cocoa all the time, since it was winter.

The next day you were already better, having moved on. A week passed when you got a call from one professor of the casting committee, asking if you would still accept the role. She explained that the other girl who got the part had a serious fight with Ivan, so she quited, and you were one of their choises. You happily accepted. You were in pure extasy when you told Amy, and, at that night, you went to comemorate at your favorite restaurant. On the next day you got a text saying for you to be in the theater as soon as your classes were finished.

The end of the afternoon came. You got in the theater and headed to the stage. they gave you the whole script of the play and introduced you to the group of actors. Every one of them welcomed you with a warm hug.

You couldn´t believe this.

That day you were told the herealsals schedules and other things you needed to know.

When you were heading out of the theater, you felt Professor hiddleston´s gaze at you. You tried not to look at him before, at stage, but now, you looked back, holding the gaze for a fraction of second. He had an unreadable expression, the same as always when he rarely happened to look at you.

Weeks went by. Holidays came and went. The play would be in february, happening in four days: 9, 11, 14 and 16.

It was january, and you would rehease from monday to friday. The days of the presentation were coming, and you were growing more and more nervous. Amy would only come back from her parent´s house at february first, so, until there, you were by yourself.

Today Amy was coming back, and you decided to make a little feast for her, so you´d spent the day catching up.

The next day you went to the rehease, taking Amy with you, after she pestered you to. "Okay, just don´t drive attention to yourself, otherwise i will be in trouble." You warned. "Trust me, i´m as silent as a ghost."

You got on stage and looked for Ivan, who you now became very good friends with. "y/n, Ivan couldn´t make today, he said he is with a terrible headache since yesterday and can´t get out of bed, but tomorrow he said he´ll be here no matter what. In this case, today you will be reheasing with someone else, he will be here in a minute."

"Ok." You responded. You felt bad for Ivan.

After some time, distracted, you looked at your friend's direction an saw her face go pale. What happened to her? It seemed like she got terrible news. She nooded, so you would look to your side. On the moment you glanced to your left, you saw Professor Hiddleston standing right where Ivan should.

You couldn´t believe it.

Was it a joke?

An alusination?

Then you remembered your friend´s pale face. "Okay. Let´s start! Everyone, to your positions." Screamed one person of the director´s crew.

'It is just for a few hours, you can do this. Tomorrow Ivan will be here.' You though.

The reheasal began.

The professor was good. To good to be true. He didn´t need a script, he had all the Shakespeare plays in his head. Of courese he did!

You were intimidated by his performance. Why would they get any other Romeo when there was him?

As the play went by, you remebered specific scenes where some touching would be involved. You freezed at the thought.

You didn´t want to be touched by him. It terrified you. His coldness towars you had always beeing something that really made you unconfortable. You just didn´t want to admit it to not hurt yourself. You saw how nice he was to everyone, all smiles, laughs, complements all the time and nice notes on their essays. It seemed like he really, really, had something against you. So, thinking about the touching parts, or even the kiss, OH MY GOD, the KISS! It freeked you out!

The first touch came. A slight hands touching . Gosh, how his hands were warm!

The second touch. He hold tight your arm against his. You could feel his toned arm beside your torso.

Touches came and touches went by. And then, the kissing part. You were still, and he, like he was doing nothing much, leaned and gave you a long peck on your lips, while holding both of your arms. You froze for a second, blank expression.

The play continued.

At the end, your muscles were sore for being tense for so long.

"Hi, y/n. I hope i made a good Ivan substitute. I know my acting skills don´t even get near his." You heard a voice behind you as you untied your Elisabethan skirt that was on top of your grey sweatpants.

You stiffed again at his voice.

You continued untying and looked at him with indiference in your gaze.

"You were good, sir. Very good actually." You said trying to not sound nervous.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. I felt you really tensed today. I just wanted to say that you should relax more, don´t take this as a running marathon, just breath and enjoy the play. Relax more."

"I´ll do better tomorrow, sir." You said as you saw him leaving the stage.

"What was that?" Amy asked.

"Did i look nervous?"

"No, at least not in my opinion."

You explained why Ivan missed today and all the situation to your friend while you headed to have dinner.

"So, i have to ask, what did he tell you? At the end. I saw he came to you."

"He just told me that i was too tense and i should relax more. 'it´s not a running marathon'." You say imitating his voice.

While you were eating you noticed Amy was looking at you in a weird way.

"What?" You ask confused.

"Nah, it´s nothing." She glances down at her food.

"Hey. Say it. You can´t do that and just shut!"

"Fine. Soo, how was having Professor Hiddleston all touchy and stuff? I know you hate the man, but you can´t deny how yummi he is. I could see the jealousy on the face of his female professor collegues who were working at the play." She grinns devilishly.

"Amy! I´ll not answer that! I can´t believe you just asked me such thing!" You say a little irritated and shy at the same time.

"You ordered me to ask, it´s your fault." She says laughing. "Now answer me, how was he?"

"Well, to be honest, i was to nervous to notice much. In the first act, when he holded my hands, his were incredibly hot, or maybe mine was to cold, you know why." You say shyly.

"Gosh, i imagine they were soft."

"Actually, they were a little cauloused. I think it´s because of the gym. It must be because of it, he didn´t get that shape out of nowhere."

Your best friend laughed, as she never imagined she´d hear you talking about him in that way.

"But how was the kiss? That was what i´ve been really wondering!"

"You know, a normal kiss." You say as you feel your cheeks heat, then you took a sip of your drink and desviated your look.

"Sure, normal kisses always makes someone blush like this." She says teasingly.

"His lips are really thin, so i got a little of the taste of his beard too, to be honest. His nose brushed on mine, on the last scene."

"Well, i think that was enough for today, otherwise you´d be as red as a pepper." As she quietly mumbled that, you looked disaprovingly at her.

"Speaking of the devil..." Amy said as she looked behind you, seeing the professor entering the bar. In two years you had never seen him here. So you had an excuse to be shocked. Suddenly, he passed through your table.

"Hello, girls." He greeted with his usual polite smile and a wave of his hand.

"Hello." You both said at the same time. He seated near the wall. Aparently, he was expecting someone.

After five minutes, a couple and another woman showed. They all greated and sat togheter.

"I can´t believe this, our table give us privilege view to his!" Amy said excitedly.

"Hey, do not look at their direction." You whispered.

"Y/n, they do not have the same access to look at us so freely. Besides, we just wanna know what they are doing here."

"Talk for yourself."

"Uhum." She sarcastically hummed.

Soon you finished eating, then, ordered a desert.

"I don´t know, y/n. But he doesn´t seem confortable."

"What do you mean?"

"I think i just saw the woman on his side reach his hand under the table and he barely touched it. Actully, he more flinched away then touched."

"Well, maybe it´s his girlfriend and he is mad at her. And they are on a double date, that´s why of the other couple."

" Oh my god, i think i know what is happening! The couple is a friend of his and is trying to find a partner for him. It can´t be his girlfriend, otherwise they would be closer and he´d touch her, no matter how much mad he was at her, he doesn´t seems the tipe of guy who lacks communication. I think that, if he was mad, he would resolve it at the time. He wouldn´t give the silence treatment. He is to sweet for that." She says looking kindly to him.

You roll your eyes at her words.

When you finished your desert, you paid and headed to the exit. But just for curiosity, you glanced at his direction, seeing that he actually was unconfortable. His legs were positioned tightly togheter and hers was brushing his shamelessly, like if she didn´t care if anyone would see it.

You could say you felt bad for him. Wasn´t the other couple noticing his expression and his to curved shoulders?

Amy noticed you staring at them.

"Do you wanna save him?" She asked.

"What? No way! The man already hates me, imagine if i just went to talk to him while he is hanging out with his friends?"

"Girl, you know he is to much of a gentleman to give her false hopes. And his friends? He´s beeing kiking the guy´s foot who is seating next to him for a while now, and he just seems to mouth to him to relax more and stuff."

"Come on, the man is clearly almost being harassed."

"He is a big boy, he can handle it by himself. Besides, he has his friends who are seeing what is happening."

"To relax more." You gave a small chuckle remembering what he told you earlier.

"Don´t be a meanni. Come on, i´ll go with you. Just say you´d like to ask him some things about the play, and it has to be now, because you wanna hearearse it at home sitll today. Ask if he can give you any tips on how to relax more."

"You really though this through it seems. " You say looking at her.

"Maybe, maybe not. I guess we´ll nevr know." She innocently says.

At her words, you decided to go. He already didn´t treat you to well, how could it be worse? And if it gets to bad, you can just change classes after all.

You and your friend approach his table. The professor and the other three people look at you.

"Hi." You say extremely embarased.

"Hi." They all responded.

Your friend touched your lower back to remeber you why you were doing that.

"W-Well, sorry bothering you, but i-i really need to speak to Mr. Hiddleston, it´s about the play. It´s important!"

You felt like you could die, right there, at that moment. He looked at you with his unreadable expression that apparently he saved just for you. He got up and excused himself to a place near the bathrooms, where there was no loud noise.

"What do you need to say, y/n?" He said in an emotioneless voice.

"I was thinking about what you said early, at the theater, about relaxing more during the play. I wanted to know if you have any tips to give to me, since you do know what you do on stage." You say with an involuntary submissive look. Always looking up. Your slight size difference being noticeable now.

"In my opinion, get used to the script. If you know the play really well, you fell like you can 'play' with it. You can feel what and how should be done with each scene. Adding to it, do some breathing exercises before getting on stage, also stretch, maybe. Wear something more warm, perhaps can help." He responded to your question in kind of a confused face (and something else you didn't recognise). Maybe he was wondering: Did you really interrupted my night out just to ask me this?

"Th-thank you for your tips, sir. I´m sorry again for interrupting your dinner. It´s just that i wanna rehearse it tonight already, to get more used before the day of the play." You answer with a teethless smile.

"Ok, if that´s all, i shall return to my table. Good night, y/n." He said coldly.

"Good night, sir."

As he headed to his table, you couldn´t believe in what you just had made. He looked kinda angry to be honest. Not looking you in the eye and stuff. You coud feel he´d rather be enywhere else than there, having this little conversation with you. Jesus, did he really hated you that much?

[mvshortcut]

AO3 Tag Game!

Starting a new post because the old one was getting a bit long!! I was tagged by @mahpotatoequeen <3333

How many works do you have on AO3? 21! Mostly oneshots and one long(ish) fic.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 137,409

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? One! Two if you count the book and the show as separate fandoms. But it's always been The Mysterious Benedict Society so far. I'd love to write for other fandoms someday, probably Good Omens, but this is where I feel comfortable with for now, both in terms of knowing the characters/story and the tight-knit fandom :D

Top five fics by kudos:

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Epistolary Bullying Campaign (because of course it is. this was my first crack fic and I wrote it at 1AM when I had an exam the next day. sigh)

5PM Every Evening, On the Dot

46 Fairview St. Apartment 2A, Stonetown

Thank the Stars Above

Time and a Half

Do you respond to comments?

In theory. I love chatting with people about fics - best way to make friends honestly - and I love when authors reply to my comments on their works! In practice I haven't replied in a while, which upsets me but it's more of a time/spoons thing. If I have time and energy I'd rather spend that commenting on one of my friends' fics rather than replying to comments on one of my own fics.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

I really don't do angsty endings! They're not always happy, but they tend to be bittersweet or open rather than angsty, and even if everything isn't resolved, I usually try to get across that the fic is ending in the middle of a situation and that everything will be okay later (like this snippet). I think the three that come closest are Let Steep Ten Minutes, Keeping Time with Curtain's +1 section, and 46 Fairview St. where it's kind of left open whether SQ will ever go back to visit his father. But again, those don't really feel angsty, just somewhat bittersweet with the hope that things will grow and get better.

Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet, but I'd be open to it! I think it's really challenging to write a good and cohesive crossover and I'm not sure where I'd start.

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Nope! Perks of being in a small fandom. I imagine it does happen but I know y'all would have my back

Do you write smut?

Definitely not for mbs. I'd be open for other fandoms but it's not really what interests me the most.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I suppose someone might have fed a fic of mine into an AI writing generator which I'd personally consider a form of stealing, but I haven't heard of that happening. Please don't do that :)

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! I've thought of trying to translate some of my own for funsies, but I'm definitely not at that level yet! Although the lovely @sophieswundergarten has made a few amazing podfics of both my fics and some other excellent fics in the mbs fandom, which I'd consider translation of a sort!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

For mbs I'm more interested in platonic/familial connections, but I suppose I'd say Milligan/Moocho if I had to pick one? I really don't care if they're romantic or not though, I just like them together in any form that takes. For all-time I suppose I'd say Aziraphale and Crowley, though again I'm really not too picky about the nature of that, romantic or otherwise. Perks of being aroace spectrum baybe

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Never say never! But I do have a longer Curtain Wins AU buzzing around in my brain where Reynie and Sticky "join" him at the end of Book/Season 1 and then work to bring him down from the inside, without getting caught up in his manipulations. That might end up being comparable to Time and a Half in length, so maybe someday when I have an abundance of free time.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write some banger first sentences :D especially in crack/funny fics

What are your writing weaknesses?

Too many adverbs! Also I get very easily stuck on exposition/beginning/ending/filler parts. I tend to write down the most tense/exciting moments for the fic and then the writing process stalls for the next three months.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

For a real language, I think it can be a great opportunity to showcase a character's backstory/culture. It can also be immersive for the audience - if a character is in a foreign country where they don't speak the language, including pieces of dialogue in that language can help the audience understand how lost they're feeling (assuming the audience doesn't speak that language either)! If you're using a translation source though it can make for some pretty hilarious errors and mistranslations.

I think made-up languages absolutely fuck but I could never include one in my fic because I'd nerd out creating an entire writing, grammar, and vocab system and forget to write the actual fic.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

take a wild guess

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

absolutely not. top 5:

Time and a Half

46 Fairview St

And Without It One Cannot Start Over

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Epistolary Bullying Campaign

Keeping Time

Tagging: @binnudacademy (consider this a tag for your main, sorry about the shadowban. free molly 2k24) @ragecndybars @bi-demon-ium @trentcrimminallybeautiful (you pick which <3) @oflightningandstars and anyone else that wants to!!

[caramelmochacrow]

tell me about your new oc

seeing this made me so happy you have no idea--

OKAY!! I guess I can start sharing stuff about these two sillies, for now i'll just talk about one of them lol

Here she is~

I don't have a name for her yet but I'm thinking of making it flower related or star related (I'll see what sticks)

I'll just go copy and past what I wrote down about her for now, hehe.

edit: im putting a cut bc i pity people--

Filipino, Grade 12 (18y/o)

Symbols/Things associated with her: Capybara, butterfly weed, colchium, american cudweed, hemlock, jonquil, peach blossom, and zinnias*.

*She shares this with her friend.

She was friends with [my other oc] when she was younger because of their shared judo classes, their bond being a pain from the past. When her friend went to visit her relatives in Brazil, her family had to move away because of her parents' job, never letting her say a proper goodbye. She moved back years later after her parents got a job in her hometown. She was bullied in the past because of the way she looked when she was younger. She decided to toughen up because of the bullying and became her school’s local delinquent. She distances herself from other people so they don’t know her fragility and fear of loneliness; she knows when someone gets close to her, she’ll cling onto them like crazy. The girls in her school later on develop an intense hatred for her because she’s close with the class president; the boys are terrified of her. Her judo lessons as a child helped her maintain the delinquent image. She also makes sure her grades are at least average level so people won’t get suspicious of her; she can reach honor student level if she didn’t hold back.

When she was younger, she used to not wear glasses and had longer hair. After she moved away, her eyesight got worse and she cut up her hair. She wears the boys uniform because she likes it more, but still believes she’s a woman; she just likes masculine clothing more than feminine clothing. Her father used to go to the school, so she uses her father’s old uniform. (Yes they have not changed uniforms in YEARS.)

Both of her parents are Filipino. Her father works as a lawyer while her mother works as a nurse; this made her spend most of her childhood alone. Her parents are really glad that she reconnected with her friend, especially because she’s the class president and is quite strict, giving their daughter a chance to “reform”. (Even though the class president girl is not strict with her at all.)

Uh, other stuff I haven't written down yet about her because I want to expand on it more:

She only does her best during exams.

She colored a strand of her hair to look more like a delinquent.

She loves hot water a lot.

She's butch but never uses the word outright because she doesn't know that label yet (emphasizing the yet because I want that to be an arc in some way)

She has zero idea what to do with her life because she doesn't really see a chance for her to do anything she's interested in with how she's been leading her life.

That's all I have for her.... I still need to tinker with a few stuff. :P I would talk about the Class President OC but I don't wanna take the focus off her so yeah.

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

-- If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

“Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”

-- On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

and as for poetry, i like to talk about "Written in my Dreams by W. C. Williams" by Allen Ginsberg with other people because it's short and rolls over the tongue nicely and i like to come back to it, puts a smile on my face, you know?

i'll also never forget "A Carcass" by Charles Baudelaire from when we read it at school years ago and then again in high school and i have now chosen Les Fleurs du mal as one of the books for my oral school leaving exam, so it's definitely one of those authors i read once and was never able to get out of my head

and last but not least, Louise Glück (may she rest in peace) and her "Theory of Memory" which includes the ending "Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream." and i simply don't have a choice but to love this one

i have so many more favourites, but these are the ones i can think of right now hehe <33

what r ur favourite poems and quotes??

those are brilliant actually

mine are quite, different to what one may think but i like finding meaning in things that other people think are only surface level :

思い出なんか いらん - we don't need memories

this is from the anime haikyuu LMAO which is a fucking volleyball anime and it is the team motto of one of the teams. It is quite honestly my life motto at this point. I used to live in the past, excused people for thing they do now because they were different in the past. they were different in my memories. I was so focused on the past i forgot to enjoy my present. I am done doing that. My memories hold me back. I am tired of it.

"to love and lose and still be kind" - warsan shire

this is pretty self explanatory. i dont think I've had a hard life. but i certainly haven't had an easy one. i have a habit of giving too much of myself to people. I'm working on rectifying that whilst still being kind.

"but i cut people out like tags on my clothing" - conan gray

I LOVE people watching its one of my favourite songs. but this line is really important to me. I've cut the tags off of my clothing for as long as I can remember. ever since i was a kid. I also have a habit of cutting out people the second they break my trust. as easy as cutting off tags from my clothing. I don't think its a good habit or a bad habit. it just. is.

"It's always the ones who are quietest who often have the greatest things to say" - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This is from one of my favourite books of all time. I was a quiet child for a while. I never got excited for anything and after a while my parents suspected I had childhood depression, we still don't know for sure if I did. It makes a lot of sense though. It took me a while to become confident in my own voice and my own opinions. this quote is really important to me.

"Men don't cry. My daddy taught me that. Men don't cry because they don't have time to cry.

I must not have been a man yet because I cried. I bowed my head and cried." - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This isn't personal to me in anyway, I just really, really love this part of the book and these two lines in particular.

"I'll be your hands." "I'll be your sanity." - TJ Klune, Ravensong

love has always been something I've read about. but this quote takes the damn cake.

as for poems,

At a Funeral by Dennis Brutus

I analyzed this poem for an English Lit class and the story behind why it was written really stuck with me. It was written after the death of Valencia Majombozi who was shot on the day of her graduation from nursing school. Its a protest poem and it just hits really fucking hard.

Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney

This was the first poem that i ever took inspiration from. I had of course written before, but I really enjoyed Heaney's writing style so it strongly influenced my poem Quietude, which I am planning to submit to the empty inkwell publication...hopefully lol

Identity Card by Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is written as a form of protest poetry as well. Mahmoud Darwish was a Palestinian poet, for those of you who do not know and he wrote this poem about being asked for his identity card by Israeli Officers. Its really, really good.

[batbeato]

When seeing George written, would you prefer either for someone to drop his age to twenty (which is still a decent age gap between them, but somewhat less concerning) or put more emphasis on the canon age gap between them when writing?

Because for the longest time, I actually thought he had just turned twenty in 1986, rather than twenty-three. Because I read his character sort of like - I’ve just graduated high school (possibly started uni?), and have a job at Dad’s company. I’m an adult, now, and should act like it - except he’s projecting his idea of what an adult (what his mother and father taught him of adulthood) - in Legend.

He would have graduated high school back in 1984, having turned eighteen the month of graduation (march). He’d still legally be considered a minor, although taking steps into higher education or a position at Hideyoshi’s company, and yet still young - still pretty close in age to his cousins.

(Still, in a story where George is younger, his relationship with Shannon remains a bit iffy, because even then she’d be a fourteen/fifteen to his eighteen/nineteen in ‘85 depending on the month.

If they began dating in ‘84 - a bad year all around for Sayo by November - she’d be thirteen/fourteen which was the bare minimum of consent in Japan up until the current decade, and George would be seventeen/eighteen. Though he would still be in high school so maybe going on a date wouldn’t even be feasible for him to pull off? Case of both Exams & Eva).

Hmm... Maybe if you age Shannon up a year or two and put George at 20, like you mentioned, it works? Then the gap is a little better. George can't be 19 in 1986 since that's the Special Significant Umineko Age, but aging Shannon up by one or two years is pretty arbitrary since 17/18 is still not her true age or 19. A 2-3 year gap isn't the worst, and then it's actually only a 1 year gap, even if George doesn't know this.

Their relationship has always read to me like George is a young adult still trying to step out from the status of 'child', which definitely fits better with 20 as his age (especially since in 1986 Japan, 20 was the age of adulthood), while Shannon is just a bit younger than him - also not a child, but she hasn't started really going out and living as an adult the way he has. His power over her is unrelated to their ages and far more tied to the master-servant dynamic, classism, and patriarchy. It doesn't read as predatory/grooming, more like he just sort of sucks at properly respecting her as a person and not making patronizing assumptions because she's a young woman. And he also doesn't seem to truly realize how much privilege he has over her as a wealthy young man.

If someone really wants to write about the canon age gap and how that really should have more implications than it canonically does, well. I haven't actually seen anyone who cares about George/Shannon enough, and sees them that way, to write that. Most people I know who ship/write them don't really focus on the gap - it's primarily people who really hate the ship (and thus wouldn't be likely to write for it) or who mainly do analysis work, not creative work. So I'm not sure we'll ever really see a serious deepdive into fucked up toxic age gap GeorgeShannon, just because of the current demographics of people who hold that interpretation.