#it wanes and changes… like normal sibling relationships do

[dulcewrites]

Hi what do you think what it means that aegon and aemond relationship will spiral out of control? I think it has to do with 2 things: b&c where aegon will blame aemond for it and all this build up rivalry between them. I mean aegon isn't stupid he knows aemond wants to be king and is more suited but for better or for worse it's aegon who is king. I think most people focus on aemond there, saying that he is jealous of what aegon has simply because he is older but no one focuses on how aegon feels. He knows aemond is better material for king but after he sees smallfolk accepting him as king it will change whole dynamics. Aegon will try to assert dominance simply because he is so loved and aemond after killing Luke is kinslayer=cursed in eyes of people all over Westeros and aegon will surely rubb it on aemond face in a way like 'yeah, you could have been so good material to the king except the fact that you are cursed and you are responsible for my son's death'. And 2 season will be mentally difficult for aemond because he will surely feel guilty after b&c (well he is the one to blame anyway) and before he was confident, tis I and so on, but now his level of confidence will just go low and low. Like he will surely not be in alicent's good graces since Olivia said that watching aemond turning into absolute killer is terrifying for her and she refused larys offer to harm luke so no wonder why daeron will be her favourite son since he will never let her down and will spend most of his time at kl protecting her. I mean, I saw people from team green angry because how is this possible that aemond will abandon his family after b&c and be crybaby for such old wench like alys? Why don't he stay at kl with his one true love helaena? *eyes roll* Well I can easily see aemond parting from his family to fight daemon as a way to repent for throwing them to the war and causing his mother and sister to be rhaenyra prisoners. And what do you think?

Honestly, if that is the route they go, I don’t think it will start off that way. I think Aegon, rightly or wrongly, will be accepting towards Aemond. It is partly jest at his sister and a powe move but also probably show a united stand, but he throws Aemond a party. I don’t think there is all ill will (from Aegon to Aemond) on that part. I would not be surprised if their relationship does shift after b&b. In the books, while Helaena slips into depression, Aegon becomes more angry and vengeful. Idk how much of that is still pointed towards Aemond (especially if Aemond does end up telling anyone it was an accident) bc he still chooses to make Aemond protector of realm.

I think there will be strife, and I am interested in Aegon using his position as king as something to hold over people. But at the end of the day, i don’t see all of these relationships falling out imo

[the-elusive-soleil]

the first to find your ears

For @maedhrosmaglorweek Day 1: Treelight Prompt: Childhood/Growing up

It was long past the Mingling - Telperion had waxed and was now well into its waning, even - but Maitimo still refused to sleep. He’d spent most of the night pacing back and forth either in a hallway or in his room, and had now ended up sitting against a wall with his knees hugged to his chest, not too near his parents’ room where he’d be in the way (or someone might tell him to go to bed), but not too far away, either.

He knew everything would be fine. He knew his mother had been fine when she had him and there was no reason to think that she wouldn’t be fine this time, too. But that didn’t mean she would be fine, either, and his father was worried, and so Maitimo thought he was well within his rights to be worried as well - even if he was halfway to adulthood and should know better.

The distant, slightly distressing sounds from several rooms away changed, between one moment and the next, with something new and higher-pitched and more insistent added to them. Maitimo lifted his head, and as he strained to hear better, hurried footsteps drew near him.

One of his aunts on his mother’s side stuck her head around the corner and spotted him. “There you are! Come now, come, you’ve got a little brother who wants to meet you.”

A little brother. Maitimo was on his feet without having paid attention to how he got there. “And Ammë’s all right?” he asked, even as he followed his aunt down the hall.

“Perfectly fine,” she assured him. “Although she and your father may go slightly deaf in the near future - I never have seen a newborn with lungs like that before. Here we are.”

She ushered Maitimo into his parents’ room, and there was his mother sitting up in the bed, looking tired but not tired, and there was his father perched next to her, focused darting between her and what was in her arms.

Not what, who.

His mother looked up as he entered, and she smiled. “Maitimo,” she said warmly. “Come and meet your brother.”

The baby was not wailing as he had been earlier, but merely regarding the world with a wide-eyed curiosity. When Maitimo drew close enough, he immediately became the object of the baby’s focus.

“Here, sit on the bed,” his mother invited. “Do you want to hold him?”

Maitimo had never held a baby before, but he nodded. Once he was settled on the bed, his mother passed the blanket-wrapped newborn over to him, and he balanced him carefully against his chest, a strange wonder welling up in him. In the background, he thought he heard his aunt murmur something about “first one besides the parents to hold him”.

“Hey, hanno,” he whispered, then “Does he have a father-name yet?” The amilessë is meant to come later, after his mother has had a chance to rest, so it would be rude to ask about that.

“Kanafinwë from me,” his father said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “It was...rather immediately apparent how apropos that would be.”

Strong-voiced. Maitimo thinks of the cries that he heard in the distance, and privately agrees. But Kanafinwë isn’t crying now, just squirming slightly in Maitimo’s arms and watching the world. There doesn’t seem to be enough of him for such a long name.

“Hello, Kano,” he says, trying out his own name-giving skills. “I’m your brother.”

He doesn’t really know how to be a brother - the main example he has in his own family is his father’s relationships (or rather, lack thereof) with his half-siblings. But even though outdoing his father would normally be unthinkable, Maitimo is sure he can at least do better with this. 

He doesn’t say it out loud, in case his father takes it as judgment, but he thinks, I’m going to be there for you. Nothing is ever going to get between us. Not like that.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Here I am, I'm going to talk about one of the most wholesome potential sibling relationships in my opinion along with Shadow and Rouge 🥰🥰🥰:

Amy Rose 🌹 and Knuckles the echidna 🍇:

This 2 got really deep inside my heart as a really sweet brother and little sister relationship and unlike with Shadow and Rouge that despite consider them completely as siblings (big sis and little brother in that case, even with Shadow being 50 he is mentally 15 and Rouge is the one in the big sis role after all XD) i don't mind read and see fanart or fanfictions of them being a couple but for Knuckles and Amy is physically impossible to me 😂😂 i simply can't, feels so wrongly incestuos to me, and now my points:

1. First of all I just love that they have matching designs and in addition they both match Sonic's shoes 🤣🤣🤣 what do I mean? You see Amy first appearance had the same hairstyle as Sonic but the modern look she has her hair down like knuckles but shorter and also she wears red decorated with white like knuckles is completely red with a white waning moon in his chest that it's similar to the white collar of Amy's dress. This just makes me see them more intensely as siblings due that Amy's modern looks makes her looks like him.

2. Power characters: Amy in my pov should be seen as a power like character if she isn't seen as one already, i mean... She uses a damn huge hammer bigger than her head to fight, this shouldn't be even questioned. I really hated how in Sonic x her skill with the hammer was over all used as a funny gag of: ow look that crazy mad stalker whiny girl swinging a hammer like a psycho because she got mad sonic isn't paying attention to her how scary....🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 I like the scary woman with a weapon gag but no If that mean making her look childish and obnoxious, and of course she wasn't allowed to fight big battles 😡😡, her childish personality in that show didn't make enjoyable her relationship with knuckles... Well sometimes, when she was normal and teased him but damn it that show didn't make her justice 😑😑.

Fortunaly things change with time and her current portrayal is a lot better! Starting with her classic self:

Come on, this was totally on purpose! SEGA sees them as siblings too!!! And look at her!! Smashing things with Knuckles YASSSS POWER SIBLINGS 😁😁😁 they are family your honor.

Also her love for boxing 🥊🥊 hello?

Whoever draw this, bless you. And you're so right 👌👌👌👌👌 ITS CANON, SHE LIKES BOXING another thing in common with Knuckles onichan 🧐🧐🧐 and recently and more important:

HE. FUCKING. TRUSTED. HER. THE. MASTER. EMERALD. 👌👌👌😖😖😖😖 , Of course he would trust that task to his worthy warrior little sister.

3. Dynamic: i can't say I'm satisfied with the portrayal of their relationship in the shows they appear together, Sonic X and Sonic Boom in one Amy was childish and obnoxious and in the other she treats Knuckles too condescending and critical of his lack of intelligence 😔😔 and no sorry no... With Sonic and Tails they manage to make it... Fun but with Amy is just mean... AND AMY SHOULDN'T BE MEAN! (Also they fucking flirt in the show! Joke or not Joke is a BIG NO🥲🥲)

I HATE THIS!!!

I'll talk about Sonic Boom another time... Fortunaly Archie fed me with what I needed and gifted us with this:

Amy being what she's meant to be: supportive, sweet and affectionate and I love his protectiveness with her 😭😭😭😭😭👌👌👌👌

Final thoughs... Wouldn't it be marvelous if Knuckles was like a protective big bro who doesn't approve any potential sister boyfriend?😏😏😏

Anyway I need more of this 2, in a way when they are separated from Sonic and Tails... They are just like Sonic and tails 🤣🤣🤣 i mean isn't Tails like a little brother to sonic?🤔😉

So SEGA please be kind and feed us with more POWER SIBLINGS scenes, wherever you want, videogame, comic, tv show I'll take anything.

[quietnqueer]

Why identifying as aromantic is important to me (as a 36-year-old woman)

Submission to the October 2020 Carnival of Aros on the theme of ‘Prioritization’. 

I identify as aromantic asexual (aro/ace). Both parts of that identity are important to me, but the aro one particularly so. Why? Because at 36 years old, society’s amatonormativity has more of an effect on me than its allonormativity.

In your teens and twenties, sex is a huge deal. There’s a lot of pressure to have sex and to be sexually desirable. But by the time you reach your mid-30s, this eases off. Your allosexual peers’ obsession with sex starts to wane, and you find less conversations about it taking place in your everyday life. In fact, if I were to admit to a 30/40/50-something allosexual person that I’m just not that interested in sex, I reckon there’s a good chance I’d receive a nod of recognition.

However, if I were to say that I’m not interested in having a relationship? That I intend to be ‘forever alone’? Well, that would raise eyebrows.  For in amatonormative society, partnering up and settling down with someone, in the form of a mutually exclusive, ‘romantic’ relationship, is deemed inevitable; essential; the natural order of things. As you get older, society can (just about) countenance you not wanting sex. But it can’t comprehend you wanting to remain single.

  When younger, aro people can get away with saying things like, ‘oh, I’m not looking for a relationship’, or, ‘I’m not interested in getting married’, in response to those seemingly innocuous, everyday questions we all get asked such as, ‘have you got a partner?’ and ‘are you married?’ Why? Because people assume that’s just your age talking, not your orientation. However, as you get closer to 40, being asked these kinds of questions can fill aro people with trepidation. How to explain that you’re just not that way inclined, when the overriding message from society is that you should be?

I remember a work lunch a few years ago, at which the conversation amongst my colleagues turned to talk about their husbands; how they met them; how they popped the question. Obviously, I had nothing to share on this topic, but that was okay; in my colleagues’ eyes, I was still young, with plenty of time to find My Man. I do wonder though, had I stayed in that job, how my colleagues’ attitudes towards me might have changed as the years went by and I continued to stay single. How would they have accounted for my singleness? With open-mindedness or prejudice?

For this is another issue aro people face as they get older. As the years go by, you become more conscious of what your family and any long-standing friends/co-workers might be making of your perma-singleness. Do they think me socially inept? Emotionally under-developed? Frigid? Pitiful? Just… not normal? Such is the stronghold amatonormativity has over our lives, that to lead a single life leaves you open to being perceived in all sorts of narrow-minded and unkind ways.

  This is why claiming an aromantic identity is so important to me at this stage of my life. Whilst I’m still not really ‘out’ as aro, just coming out to myself has made all the difference. Now I know who/what I am, people can make whatever assumptions they like about me; that I’m a socially inept loner, whatever; it doesn’t matter. Knowing I’m aro, I feel the sting of the prejudicial attitudes our hetero/amatonormative society has towards single women a lot less, and am a lot more secure in myself.

  Knowing I’m aro also helps when it comes to just being able to deal with everyday adult conversation; so much of which is centred around people’s dating lives, their married lives, their coupled-up nuclear family lives.  For alloromantics – i.e. the majority of people – their ‘romantic’ relationship, and the family they create around that, is the very foundation of their lives. So, of course this ends up being the subject of a lot of everyday chit-chat, whether at the family dinner table or round the office water cooler. But for those of us who are aro/arospec, these most ‘normal’ and mundane of conversations can be awkward at best and alienating at worst.

My aro identity provides a much-needed bulwark against this. Before I discovered aromanticism, when I found myself in conversations about marriage and dating and settling down, I would often end up feeling insecure and embarrassed because my lack of relationship experience meant I had no similar anecdotes or stories to share. And even though I knew I didn’t actually want a relationship, and felt on some innate level that I was destined to stay single, this didn’t stop me from wondering whether the fact I’d made it all the way to 30 without ever having been in a relationship, or gone a date, meant there was something wrong with me.  If I hadn’t discovered aromanticism, I can imagine these feelings of shame and embarrassment would only have intensified as I got older.

But now I know I am aromantic, I understand my non-existent relationship history to be a sign of my aromanticism, rather than of there being something ‘wrong’ with me, whether socially, emotionally, or physiologically. Again, this doesn’t mean I’m at the stage where I feel comfortable being all ‘I’m aro!’ when talking to people. But it does mean I can hold my head a bit higher when I find myself caught up in conversations in which everyone’s going on about their love lives.

  As I get older, it’s my aromanticism that makes me feel queer in the world. My peers, siblings and cousins are coupling up and settling down, and here I remain, steadfastly single. As a result, I become more conscious of how my lack of romantic attraction sets me apart from others more than my lack of sexual attraction. No one’s quizzing me on the details of my sex life, or asking me who I ‘fancy’, anymore. But people do enquire about my relationship status. And people are likely to make all sorts of not-very-nice assumptions about that 30/40/50-something woman in their midst who continues to stay single. This is why, now I’m in my mid-30s, I have more of a need to give a name to, and to understand, my lack of interest in romantic relationships, than I do my lack of interest in sex. Claiming an aromantic identity helps me to navigate the amatonormativity which is all-pervasive in everyday adult life; and to navigate it with pride.

[sullustangin]

The Expendables

A brief ditty about three kill options (and I kept it under 1500 words!). 

Post-KotET

“All right. You go get your stuff, and I’ll keep an eye on the ship.”

Arcann nodded, silently, as he opened the shuttle door and jumped out onto the landing pad on top of the palace at the heart of Zakuul.

Annnnd that left Koth, with Senya, waiting.  “You aren’t going with him?”

Senya looked out of the viewport at the traffic that moved below them.  “I took my possessions with me when I left his father.  There’s nothing for me here.”

“Ok.”  Koth drummed his fingers on the dashboard.  It wasn’t out of nerves -- not anymore.  He was impatient.  He didn’t want to be here.  He loved Zakuul.. but his home wasn’t on this planet.  Wasn’t anywhere yet, to be honest.  He was only here because Lana asked him to do her a favor. 

Both Koth and Senya knew what that favor really was. 

“Maybe you can help hurry him along? Grab a bag, make a suggestion...?”  Koth gestured toward the door.

Senya shook her head.  “He needs his privacy.  The Alliance has watched him very closely since he arrived -- which I understand!” Senya said a bit quicker and louder than necessary.  “I just want to give him a few moments alone with his thoughts.”  She cast a look at the door that led down into the residence.  “You know, they’re turning this place into a museum.  And a mall.”

Koth leaned back in his seat.  “Well, finally gives people a chance to see what their taxes paid for over the last few centuries.”

Senya sat on the edge of her seat, constantly looking over at where her son had disappeared.  

Koth sighed, loudly.

“Could you --?”

“You just don’t want to catch him getting his girlie holo collection.”

Senya huffed, then withdrew slightly.  “I-I-I don’t know if he has girlie holos... or boy-ie holos.  I left before he ... went through those changes.”  Senya’s shame was laced through the sentence.  She was never going to forgive herself for leaving, was she.

“Well, he clearly likes girls, at least, since that’s why I’m here.”  Koth looked over at Senya.  “You let Arcann try to ask the Captain out or something, and now I’m here because Lana doesn’t want Spy Guy letting Arcann accidentally, mysteriously fall off a building.”

Senya pressed her lips together before replying.  “War -- conflict makes and breaks relationships.  I didn’t know how permanent --”

“Woman, your son threw his kinda sorta girlfriend into a freezer for five years.  He didn’t get over it. And now you let Arcann make a move?  You’re lucky Theron kept that to himself instead of telling the Wookiee.  You wanna see paternal panic?  Lord.”  Bowdaar was awesome, and Koth would have him serving on the Gravestone if he didn’t know the big guy wouldn’t stand being parted from Eva, his captain. 

Senya closed her eyes, and for a split second, Koth thought he’d made her cry and that was soooo NOT HIS INTENT.  Koth’s internal panic was quelled when she spoke, more tired and frustrated than tearful.  “It was the first time he expressed any positive interest in anyone that wasn’t me or his siblings.  So many years since he... Since he wasn’t trying to get revenge or best a rival in combat or play politics.  Maybe he was too awkward and came on too strong -- but I didn’t want to discourage that the first positive impulse he’d had in over ten years.”  

Koth tipped his forehead forward to rest on the piloting controls of the shuttle. He’d spent years blaming Arcann for the downfall of Zakuul. Knowing that it was the old emperor playing everyone made him hate Arcann less, but... it was honestly mindblowing to watch the guy hit ‘reply all’ to a Odessen holonet announcement to ask about how to do laundry. It proved how disconnected Arcann had been from reality all these years. 

(Lana made Koth help, once she knew via securiy holo that he’d literally been sitting next to Arcann as he’d done it.)

Arcann needed a friend to clean out his old apartment.  Well, the Force, Providence, the Galaxy, Lana -- they all moved in mysterious ways that had led Koth here. 

He unbuckled his seatbelt.

**

Koth found Arcann standing in the remains of a bedroom.  It had been blasted to shreds, the contents of every chest, every drawer scattered everywhere.  A fire had kindled on the bed for awhile before dying out.  Koth let out a low whistle, which caught Arcann’s attention.  “Vaylin redecorated in my absence.”

Koth stifled a laugh.  Arcann had a dry wit that came out when he wasn’t brooding or being clueless about normal people life. “She leave you anything?”

“A few things.”  Arcann held up an old carved box.

Koth recognized it as one of those multi-dimensional chess sets that only the richest people could afford.  “Anything I can do to help?”  Koth offered.

Arcann motioned around the room.  “If you find something not broken, let me know.”  The former ruler turned his scarred side in Koth’s direction.  “That might only be yourself.” 

A dry wit with a heavy dose of self-hate. 

The two men sifted through the remains of the room.  Koth managed to find one or two datapads that escaped Vaylin’s wrath.  Arcann pulled some clothes out of his closet -- all whites and blacks.  Maybe they could get the smoke damage out back at base. 

As Koth straightened up and cracked his back, he heard Arcann say, “She let me live because it infuriated my father.”

“Huh?”

“He told her to kill me.  So many times.  Even as she took the throne -- you know what she said to him?”

Koth hadn’t asked anyone what happened at the time.  He just sat in the ship, gazing down at Zakuul as all the lights blinked back on as people emerged from hiding and the darkness.

“She told him she’d give the throne back to me, just to spite him, if he didn’t shut his mouth.”

Koth smiled openly now.  “That sounds like Eva, all right.”  His grin waned slightly as he saw Arcann standing there, torn between laughing and ... not laughing at all.  “Well, at least you know she hates you less than your old man.”

“I’m alive because of her spite.  It... it hadn’t occurred to me that wasn’t the best basis for... companionship.. until after...” 

Koth read Arcann like a damn holonovel -- captains knew how to do that for the safety of their ship, getting a quick assessment in just a few glances.  “You went back after she gave you the brush off.  And she got meaner about it.  Told you--”

“Agent Shan’s presence in her ship after hours also bolstered the fact she hadn’t spared me out of any affection.” 

Koth cringed. “Arcann, you gotta give up on her or else she will kill you.  Or he will. Or Bowdaar.  Or the rest of her crew, now that they’re back with her.  She’s got a lot of people who aren’t afraid of going to jail for her.” 

And Koth was one of them, if he was honest.  Technically, he’d go to jail for Lana after Lana killed someone for her. 

Arcann exhaled through his nose.  “She didn’t kill me at the ball, so I assumed she --”  His throat bobbed as he stared around his old room one last time, balling up the smoke-infested garments and tucking them under his arm.  “I only knew love and hate.  There was no mercy.  There was never an in-between.  Nobody was permitted to live unless they were a stalwart ...Nothing was neutral or grey.  There was just white and black.”  He looked down at his clothes.  “I have much to learn.”

Arcann dropped the white and black clothes.  As he started to let the chess set slip from his hands, Koth darted over, easily intercepting the small chest before it hit the floor.  “Hey, the wardrobe needs an update.  But... you’ll find someone good to play with on Odessen, someday.”  Koth grasped the chest one-handed and braced it against his chest to make sure he didn’t drop it.  “For now, you’ll have to settle for teaching my impatient self.”

Arcann smiled, slightly. 

[chasing-classics]

Lean Into What Remains- Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff/ Black Widow x Fem!Reader

 Warning: mentions of sterilization

 Summary: You and Nat have been together through thick and thin, nothing could ever tear you apart. An incident following the fight with Ultron leaves you both rattled and wondering whether the future you both dreamed of is still salvageable.

A/N: Inspired by my firm belief that Natasha Romanoff deserved the absolute world.

 ‘’Miss Stark I’m sorry to say-‘’ you held up your hand, cutting off the head doctor, biting down on your bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

 ‘’It’s Mrs. Romanoff, please. And if you’re about to say what I think you are, please,’’ unshed tears blurred your vision. You didn’t look up at the doctor as you sat on the cool hospital bed, the sheets were cold to the touch and crinkled under you. With sympathetic eyes the doctor sighed and lowered his clipboard so that you were able to see his findings.

 ‘’I’m so sorry, Y/N. The sheer force from the blast should have killed you, but given your armor, the impact was mostly absorbed except for-‘’

 ‘’Except for my uterus,’’ you finished, finally raising your head to look up at him. You didn’t dare look at Nat, who was on your left and holding your hand to offer any comfort you needed.

 The doctor nodded, ‘’the blast caused your armor to be weakened. Had it only been one hit the damage would have been minimal, but since the second blast resulted in a large piece of glass piercing your abdomen… your armor was unable to cushion the blow.’’

 You let out a shaky breath, not even bothering to wipe away the tears at this point. You felt Nat’s grip on your hand weaken for a second. ‘’So what are you saying, doc? I can’t have kids?’’ you could barely get the question out at this point. The doctor’s sad gaze confirmed yours and Natasha’s biggest fear; the incident left you sterile. The doctor offered his condolences once more before allowing you two to process the information. You rubbed a hand over your face and tried to even your breathing. Your eyes finally fell on your wife of nearly two years, her expression absolutely gutted you. Nat didn’t cry, she was the tough one in your relationship. The closest you ever came to seeing her cry was the night you got married, only your brother Tony and Clint being present as witnesses. She was gorgeous and you knew at that exact moment that life couldn’t get any better than this.

 That’s what you thought, at least. Not even a few months into your newlywed bliss, did the two of you talk about having a baby through a donor. While Natasha couldn’t have children due to the horrors she encountered in the Red Room, it was still possible to use her egg and for you to carry your baby via a donor. You were both excited at the possibility of bringing your love into the world, you vividly remember the night you agreed that you both would begin the process in the upcoming week. You made love to each other through the night and you often thought about that night. You two had experienced true hardships, life had been unkind to the both of you in different ways. You deserved each other’s love and to have each other in your lives, and Nat deserved to know what it feels like to hold her child and know what motherhood was like.

 ‘’Nat, I-I,’’ she hushed you instantly, bring your head to her chest as the sobs racked through your broken body. You knew she was crying too, the faint sniffles acting like little daggers through your heart.

 ‘’You can’t blame yourself honey,’’ she whispered as she stroked your hair.

 ‘’I was supposed to be able to do this for us, I wanted to give you the world. You deserve the world,’’ you sobbed, fisting the crinkly hospital sheets as if you could will this all away.

 She gently pulled away and bent down so that the two of you were eye level. Her sad green eyes pierced through your core as she offered you a sad smile.

 ‘’You. You are my world.’’

 Time went on. It went on slowly and painstakingly, but it went on nonetheless. You and Natasha had moved into a quieter house just outside of New York, both of you still continued to seek therapy. She never rushed you or pushed you to open up to her or to heal, she was your silent supporter and you loved her all the more for it. It was you who had mentioned adoption, to which she offered a smile and kissed your forehead. ‘’I think that’s a great idea babe,’’ she said as she offered that million-dollar smile that was reserved for only you. You kissed her, the kiss initially sweet and full of hope for the future quickly gave in to passion and lust. You never admitted it, but you were afraid the first time you made love after the accident. The once ugly gash on your lower abdomen was a constant reminder of what you lost, the angry wound mocking you every time you changed your bandages. Now it was an angry, but subdued, pink and silver scar. You wept with adoration when Nat kissed down your body, paying extra attention to the scar, as her lips trailed downward.

 Adoption was difficult, even with your brother constantly offering to locate and set appointments with the best adoption agencies around the world. You knew he did it out of guilt, that the guilt of creating Ultron was eating away at him.

‘’You can’t keep blaming yourself, Tony,’’ you sighed as the two of you overlooked the rest of the team as well as Clint’s family and Agent Hill with Fury, Pepper and Nat in a deep conversation. It was a rare moment for you all, to be at a barbeque as if you were all just a bunch of normal individuals and as if this was a typical Saturday get-together. Your brother’s brows furrowed in frustration as he leaned against the railing of the porch. Nat had suggested getting the team together before all of your schedules became too hectic, but in reality you knew she needed the distraction from all of the letters from numerous adoption agencies that cited the two of you as providing a ‘’potentially unstable, unsafe environment’’ for children. It had taken a toll on the two of you and you weren’t sure how much more you could bear.

 ‘’If I had just listened to Cap, if I had just left it all alone. . .’’ he trailed off, the way his adam’s apple twitched didn’t sneak past your observant gaze.

 You didn’t say anything as you put your hand on top of his, offering a small squeeze as you looked up at your only sibling.

 ‘’When mom and dad died, you were all I had Tony. If it hadn’t been for you who knows what would’ve happened to me. If it hadn’t been for you I never would have met Nat or joined the Avengers. We just need to lean into the good that still remains, you know?’’

 After a moment of silence he nodded his head, offering a small smile as he enveloped you in a warm embrace, kissing the top of your head.

Later that day you were in the kitchen helping Nat clean up. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Nat’s soft hands gently held the sides of your face.

 ‘’Baby,’’ she whispered, thumbing away the tears that streamed down your face.

 ‘’How much more can we take, Nat? I know, I know we’re different from other people. We’re stronger, built to take on the pain. But does that mean we always have to deal with this?’’ you waved your hand at another rejection letter from another agency. Natasha kept her composure as you let out a sigh of utter exhaustion.

 ‘’It was never supposed to be this way,’’ you whimpered as she held you tight. Her soft kisses against your temple and neck succeeded in calming you down.

 ‘’Lean into what remains.’’

 One year. One year was how long it took for the two of you to accept the possibility that children may not be in your shared future. Even with Tony and Pepper’s help, adoption proved to be difficult even for super heroes. Your pain waxed and waned, but you were able to carry on with your life without breaking down every time you heard a baby cry or saw children playing at the park you and Nat often jogged at. It wasn’t always easy, sometimes it ate away at you like something ugly. Sometimes Nat would break down and you had to be her anchor, other times you two argued about who forgot to take out the trash as a way to vent your frustrations. Other times it was through heated love making. You fought for your marriage, and now it finally seemed like the two of you were on solid ground.

 Until one day, it happened.

 T’Challa and Shuri had called the two of you with urgent news. In Wakanda, halfway across the world, were two orphans whose parents had tragically died in the incident in Sokovia. You two were on the first jet available.

 ‘’Given the extent of the tragedy, it took us a long time to identify all the victims and locate their families. Unfortunately, we were barely able to identify C’ora and Aron’s parents and locate the children. They’re very young and we’ve been keeping them here for the past few weeks to keep an eye on their health,’’ Shuri explained, the four of you walking through the corridors of the palace.

Nat and you shared a look, your shared guilt regarding the Sokovia incident was nothing new. You held onto her hand a little tighter.

‘’How are they?’’ you couldn’t help but ask.

‘’Not to worry Y/N. They have been through a horrible tragedy, but they were infants at the time their parents left for humanitarian work. It is unlikely the remember much, but all they have ever known is Wakanda so it will take time to ensure they adjust to the transition,’’ Shuri offered an encouraging smile.

 ‘’Transition?’’ Nat asked, your heartbeats began beating faster to the point you could feel the blood pulsing in your ears.

 ‘’You have been meaning to adopt children, yes? I see no better fit for these two children than the two of you,’’ T’Challa grinned, opening the doors of the throne room. You and your wife stood there in utter shock as the two most beautiful children were playing with Okoye and the other Dora Milaje. Twins. A boy and a girl. C’ora and Aron. They were small, couldn’t be older than two, if even that.

 ‘’Go on,’’ T’Challa smiled, the children already making there way to you and Nat. Aron had reached Nat first and your heart swelled as his chubby arms reached up for her. You only looked away to gently pick C’ora up, her warm eyes analyzing you as she giggled and touched your nose. Nothing was better than the sound of a child laughing, you quickly found. Nat’s eyes met yours and you both beamed, tears falling onto the pristine palace floors. Her forehead pressed against yours’ and she kissed you, the twins cooing and laughing with excitement. You didn’t even notice that everyone had quietly emptied out of the throne room as you leaned into your little family.

 That was the memory you kept close to your heart. A memory you often found yourself randomly smiling about, even today as Nat and you hung pink and blue streamers from your backyard.

 ‘’Alright where are my niece and nephew?’’ Tony’s booming voice caused you to break from your daydreams.

 ‘’Uncle!’’ two voices rang out, your children running as fast as their little legs could allow them as they tackled your brother in a hug.

 ‘’Shocker, always last to arrive,’’ Nat teased, but her smile was warm and sincere as she greeted your children’s godfather.

‘’Enough, it’s time for the cake,’’ you grinned.

 And as the two of you stood by your two children, the only people who you could love as much as you loved each other, you thought back to where you began. Just a girl in a suit of armor who fell for the Black Widow. Mrs. Y/N Romanoff-Stark. A scared, broken woman who believed her future was unfairly taken away. The loving wife. The determined mother of two beautiful children. The twins blew out their birthday candles on their own cakes, grinning when all of the Avengers and family friends clapped and applauded. You soaked up as much of this as you could, holding onto Natasha’s hand as you did. You closed your eyes when the sun hit your face, leaning into the warmth of your family.

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Helena ‘Lenny’ Romeijnders AGE & BIRTH DATE. 37 & March 14, 1984 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Female & She/Her SPECIES. Werewolf OCCUPATION. Fire Chief FACE CLAIM. Lauren German

BIOGRAPHY

Some days, Helena wishes her life began the way that the world did; with a bang. Instead, she was born in Amsterdam, under blue skies and in a home that was warm. The first born in the Romeijnders family, followed by Sander four years later— she took the role of eldest seriously, elbowing a brother who tugged at long flaxen locks and forming escape plans as she stood up on the tips of her toes when he’d gotten them into trouble, life was sweet for them. As a child, Helena was clever, with blue eyes eager to observe, to see the world around them and find her place in it. She was a protector, more level headed than Sander, with his knees always skinned and his eyes mischievous— level headed and practical.

She did well in school, stubborn and stuck up, but successful. Helena became Lenny, dropping the syllables for something shorter, easier to spit between teeth where delicate syllables did not. She grew confident, loyalty ribboned through her like the marrow in her bones and she took care of her friends, her brother, and Andrea, who was five when Lenny was fifteen. She was a child with wide, scared eyes, who needed extra care and extra attention. There was only so much that she could do— at eighteen she left home, leaving for school in Rotterdam. Despite being only an hour away, her parents urged her to cut ties, to distance herself just a little bit and to relax. For the first time in her life, Lenny closed the door to her responsibilities and as she studied, she began to come into herself.

There was freedom in being alone for the first time, to not have her phone ring and have it be Sander, needing to be bailed out, or her mother begging her to look after Andrea after school. She made friends, a difficult feat at first, then something easier. Finding her stride came as she left her teenaged years, she found a streak of selfishness that she liked. She forgot herself when her hands furled around the slender wrists of other women, when they tumbled into cotton beds and tangled there— a new fixation budded, she formed relationships that stole her attention from her studies, that had her ignoring the buzz of her phone. She supposed she was happier this way, without tiredness and worry for Andrea and Sander, with her only pressing obligations being the deadlines for school.

Things happened quickly, after that. A few years spent at university passed, and then she was called out from a lecture, her name echoing over the tinny loudspeaker as she collected her belongings and sat nervously in the dean’s office as he explained the situation at home. Sander was gone, her parents were frantic, and Andrea— she was alone. Lenny recalled the quiet girl, the shell-shocked baby who had taken a year to confidently speak aloud and she withdrew from her studies a semester shy of graduation, from a life that she had forged and loved, to return to the Romeijnders family home.

Returning home was like stepping into the crater left after a bomb blast. Her parents were worried, Andrea answered only to Andy now and whatever sweetness that lay in her had been replaced by something wicked. She acted out, caused trouble and harm simply for the sake of causing it, and Lenny watched, brows knit in concern as the younger girl shed childhood to become something more malicious. She wasn’t a parent, it wasn’t her role; but as oldest sister she changed her place as someone who could hold her hand to someone who would bail her out of trouble. Lenny picked her up after school, or from school, murmuring excuses in the principal’s office, or lying through her teeth about potential forms of discipline that would be used to resolve bad behaviours.

She got a job as a cashier and life stretched on dully, each day with the faded vignette of the day prior, unremarkable. A year passed and she barely noticed, the promise of returning to her studies felt further away as another slipped by. Lenny took to nature, running for hours through the woods, making her way through trails and over small brooks, staying out later and later— finding any excuse to for quiet before she retuned back to the chaos at home. Andy had pulled the fire alarm, Andy had gotten into a fight, it fell like a mantra between the constant insistence from her mother that she’d seen Sander in the market today, or that she swore she saw the back of his jacket. Another year passed. Whatever she knew of her brother had fallen away, his room remained closed, her mother hopeful. Andy turned fifteen as she turned twenty-five and the other girl got louder, worse even, and Lenny spent more and more time in the darkness of the woods.

Of that night, she only recalls bits and pieces. Fragments cling to her memory; a low snarl, bright yellow eyes. There are no wolves in those woods, she had told herself as she continued her run, ignoring the howls that pierced through the dark of the evening. She remembers how a shiver had raked its nails down the notches of her spine and she had been afraid. There was pain, and it latched itself with curved teeth into her forearm, and then, as she wrestled herself away, it disappeared how it had come, suddenly.

A month passed and feeling sat uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. She found herself watching the sky, fixating on the movement of the stars, on the way that the moon waned and began to fatten, before it hung over Amsterdam, over the forests that she returned to, full bellied and bright. The first night of her existence as a wolf was soaked in blood. Other wolves circled her, watching as she writhed under the birth of her first transformation. Tears tracked on her cheeks as bones broke and skin tore, whatever had been girlish and soft was replaced by a creature engineered for slaughter. Other wolves, they circled her when at last, she tipped her head up and said her first words in wolfsong.

It was after that night, that she knew that she too, had to leave. The pack stayed with her until dawn, wrapping her shivering form in a blanket of itchy wool, whispering to her as she sat in shock, that she would be alright. She’d become something monstrous over the course of a month, a result of an accident. Whatever place Lenny had at home, it would have to be abandoned for a world that beckoned darkly, with promise of other species that defied everything she knew of the normal and the natural, one that was dangerous and all encompassing. Her family would be alright, she decided, leaving a note that she tucked into Andy’s furled fist as she slept before packing her belongings to follow the pack.

Twelve years pass in a daze. Europe is beautiful, full of wonder and she finds pieces of herself again, growing from something young to someone stronger— more self assured. In her chest, anger boils and steams when she thinks of a brother who had left them behind, who had found the world to be more worthwhile than their family. With this emotion, comes guilt, washing like a tide: she hates him for it but she too had followed in Sander’s footsteps, casting Andy aside for the open playground of Europe. Lipstick smears on her mouth, blonde hair grows longer and her face stays unchanged for a long time, time for Lenny stands still and she is a wolf, part of a collective and no longer an individual, until she too out grows that. Shedding the pack, she roams alone, a strategist and a soldier, happy in her own company and the company of those who are fleeting.

Lenny cycled through life, wild and reckless for some years, violent and righteous in others but now, she finds herself padding into Corinth Bay, following rumours and names of parts of herself that had been left behind. If the Romeijnders siblings are formed of head, heart and brawn, Helena is all three and she seeks to find and piece together what remains of her family. This is her duty, her Sisyphean task, and it is a quiet life and comfort that she wishes to languish in now. There’s a home in the town that she’s beginning to fill with possessions and a job at the fire station that she goes to daily. The break in her nomadic lifestyle feels like it’s doing her good, but she’s struggling to loosen white knuckles from the reins of control.

She is neither angry, indignant, nor embittered— but she is empowered. Strength is her forte, Helena possesses it in spades; they say that none will fight as valiantly as a cornered dog but they have also never seen a woman with a loyalty as ingrained as hers.

PERSONALITY

+ selfless, loyal, softhearted  - assertive, lascivious, critical

PLAYED BY SAM. EST. She/Her.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Idiots

A/N: I’m kind of putting my feelers out to see if anyone wants any Pietro Maximoff content, because I love and miss him and I just think sibling dynamics are always fun additions in these stories. 

Genre: straight fluff, my friends

Warning: Did I swear in this? Idk, here just in case

Word count: 2000

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x fem reader

Summary: Wanda is so tired of watching her brother and her teammate pine after each other. 

Masterlist

Wanda made a point not to actively pick through her teammate’s heads. Whatever she found out passively from knowing what people felt or perhaps projected too much was not her fault and she could not be held responsible. That being said, Wanda had found out something very interesting. It wasn’t so much new information as a realization based on compiled data. She had noticed that her brother and Y/N had grown close to each other very quickly. However, what she had slowly observed over time was a spike in positive emotions from Y/N each time Pietro entered the room, or sometimes even at the mention of his name. While it could have just been happiness at seeing a close friend, there was always an undercurrent of something else. It wasn’t something she would have labeled as lust, it was much softer and shyer than that, but it was a certain sort of attraction. After realizing that this was happening and what it meant, Wanda began to watch Y/N, hoping to witness this reaction and see what she gave away on her face. Since she hadn’t been a spy or secret agent before joining the team, she wasn’t assumed to be a good actress by default. With low expectations, Wanda was impressed to see that there was nothing to outwardly give her away. She had the same expression on her face to greet him as all of her other teammates. 

As his sister, Wanda had been aware of how Pietro felt towards Y/N since they met her. He had immediately been attracted to her, and had been in no way subtle in hiding it. Wanda was aware though, how oblivious people could be when in regards to their love lives. Pietro flirted with Y/N, which she took as a joke, and Wanda had always assumed that she hadn’t returned his feelings before noticing this reaction from her. For her brother’s sake, she was grateful it was mutual; for her own sake, she knew she was in for a world of frustration. Pietro was a flirty guy, but when he truly liked a girl, he was bashful and stupid around her. In short, her brother was an idiot most of the time, but he was even more of an idiot when feelings were involved.

Having only known Y/N for about two months, Wanda wasn’t certain what to make of her yet. The two didn’t hang out together on their own, just with the team. From the way she treated her teammates and her brother, Wanda was inclined to like her, but she didn’t want to make up her mind just yet. She decided to get to know her before trying to play cupid. She also hoped she could get her to admit her feelings with little-to-no difficulty. Wishful thinking, of course. 

Wanda invited her to have a girls night with Nat. She considered letting the spy in on the information she had, but she figured she probably already knew. Natasha and Y/N showed up at her door in pajamas, bringing a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of wine. That was good, maybe the alcohol would loosen her up a little bit. She welcomed them both into her room and couldn’t help but notice that Y/N looked nervous. She smiled gently at her in hopes of calming her down, and it seemed to work, at least a little. She still had an air of nervousness around her, but she explained that it was mostly because she didn't want to intrude on their normal bonding time. Nat and Wanda quickly put that out of her head by reassuring her that they wanted her there. After they had spent about half an hour together, painting their nails and sipping on wine, she seemed to loosen up fully. 

Wanda made sure to inconspicuously keep her glass topped off. The more alcohol she had in her, the more likely she was to be honest. 

As can only be expected at something called girls night, conversation turned to gossip and relationship. Natasha was pretty tight-lipped about how her and Bruce were doing, but Wanda wasn't afraid to gush about Vision a little. After a moment, their eyes both turned to Y/N who had obviously been hoping they wouldn't ask her about her love life. A coy smile painted Wanda's face as she spoke.

“So, Y/N, do you have your eye on anyone?” It was interesting for Wanda to watch her reactions, because even though she could feel the wave of embarrassment and fondness wash over her, her face betrayed almost none of it, save for a little warmth high in her cheeks. If it wasn't so frustrating, Wanda would have been impressed. 

“I guess I do.” Wanda and Natasha waited for more, but quickly realized that was all she intended to say on the matter. Wanda was impatient and already too frustrated from watching the two of you everyday to dance around the subject.

“You mean my brother.” She didn’t state it as a question, there was no room for denial. For a moment, she felt guilt at the way anxiety spiked through the girl across from her, but she spoke before Wanda could say anything.

“I don’t see why it matters,” she said, almost sounding defeated. Natasha and Wanda exchanged a look.

“It matters because you guys are practically in love and you’re not dating.” Completely unconvinced, Y/N quirked a brow at her in disbelief. “I didn’t realize before that you were completely obtuse,” Wanda said, exasperated. 

“Pietro isn’t in love with me.”

This time, Natasha spoke up. “Oh come on, Y/N. You might have been able to hide how you feel, but Pietro didn’t. I thought for a long time you weren’t interested, but now I see you’re just an idiot.” Y/N almost looked hurt at being called an idiot, but quickly squared her shoulders 

“I’m sorry that you guys think I’m an idiot, but there’s nothing there. He’s always been that way, flirty and a little dumb. It’s been like this since the day I met him.” She sounded like she was arguing, but Wanda could feel how defeated she was inside. Thankfully, she had a counterargument. 

“Have you ever considered that he’s been interested since he met you?” It was obvious she hadn’t by the way her eyes widened. It would have been funny if Wanda wasn’t so tired of witnessing this mess. 

“What are you expecting me to do about it?” Y/N was out of arguments but definitely still wasn’t convinced. 

“Stop the pining and put me out of my misery.” At the confused look she received, Wanda continued, “I’ve been able to feel your guys’ feelings since forever and I’ve just had to watch absolutely nothing happen for way too long.” 

For the first time in front of her teammates, warmth spread up Y/N’s cheeks and her expression was clear as day. She looked to Natasha, who only nodded at her in agreement with Wanda. “Well, I’m not going to do anything right now.”

“That’s fine, but soon,” Wanda urged.

--

Nothing happened. 

It had been two weeks and nothing at all had happened. The only change was that now the rest of the team knew about the ridiculous romance. They made a point of making vague joking remarks at both of the idiots in question. Still, even though at this point it was completely obvious, nothing changed.

Pietro had a habit of zooming around the tower. He dashed through the halls in a blur of silver, endlessly annoying certain members of the team. Sometimes he did it simply for the opportunity to look around and see what was happening in the building. That was the cause of his trouble today.

He was running through the halls, looking for the most interesting group of people to spend time with. He came across the common area, where most of the team was gathered. It seemed like people were gathered to watch a movie, as Sam, Bucky, Steve, Wanda, and Nat were all sitting on the couch chatting as Y/N bent over to look for a movie in the media case under the TV. No one was even aware that Pietro had entered the room until a loud thunk was heard. Six sets of eyes swung to see in sitting on the floor next to a wall, rubbing his forehead. 

Sam and Bucky guffawed at the dazed look on Pietro’s face, but Y/N rushed to him in concern. Wanda sent Pietro a look of disgust while also laughing at him quietly. She knew immediately what had happened. 

Poor, innocent Y/N had no idea that her team had quickly gathered from how she had been standing, and where his eyes had been drawn, what had happened. “Are you okay? What happened?” The question seemed to draw out more laughs from Sam and Bucky, even pulling a chuckle from the good Captain himself. Y/N looked around at her teammates in confusion as they watched embarrassment take over the speedster’s cheeks. 

Sam called out to Pietro after his laughter died down a little, “Yeah, speedy, why don’t you tell her what had you so distracted you ran into a wall.” 

Pietro could only bring himself to answer, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

This time, Nat piped in, “Guys, be quiet, his fall had absolutely nothing to do with how she was standing.” A barely-there smirk on her face showed that she was having her share of the teasing. 

Y/N whipped her head back to look at him, only to see him looking down in embarrassment. In that moment, Wanda could feel the way her heart warmed along with the surge of confidence that went through the woman as she looked over the man she loved. A grin overtook her expression as she looked him over once more. “Is that so? You should at least have the decency to ask me out before staring at my ass.”

Pietro nearly gave himself whiplash with how quickly he met her teasing eyes. Realizing she had just flirted with him, he quickly asked, “Would you like to go out with me?” Even though she had suggested it, everyone in the room could see that those words had stunned her. After a moment of staring at the man blank-faced, as his confidence visibly waned, a delicate and shy smile calmed him in the way only she could. 

“I would love to. Just don’t run into any more walls.” They had obviously forgotten they were being watched, as Pietro surged forward to press his lips against hers in his excitment, moving so fast that she didn’t know what was happening at first. They broke apart as they finally heard the whoops and cheers coming from the people on the couch. They both looked over at them, broad smiles on their faces. After watching the other Avengers laugh and cheer for their happy moment for a few seconds, Pietro stood up, pulling Y/N with her. In the blink of an eye, he had scooped her up and sped out of the room with his girl in his arms. 

None of the team was quite sure how to react until they heard a loud groan and a sigh from Wanda as she leaned her head against the back of the couch. Her muttered and exhausted, “Idiots,” sent them all into laughter once more. 

[b-raypokemontime]

Pillow Fort Time

continued from Here

Balia could have laughed at the look he gave her when he'd processed her telling him he didn't have to use a fork. What? She used her hands to eat all sorts of food. Including eggs on the occasion. What did he do when he ate burgers? Or Pizza? Or any other food that was normally eaten without utensils? But his exhausted state kept her from really laughing. When he got up from eating his egg she was quick to follow and help him to the couch. She didn't have to shoo the dogs or Sparks off of the couch since they were at their plates of food. The other pokemon around the house probably feeling now they could go at their food now that all the drama had simmered down. Balia pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch as Michael sank into the soft cushions. She settled him down with a care, taking his shoes off for him with only a bit of hesitation. She hoped that wasn't stepping over any boundaries there. She used to do this for her Mother after a long day on occasion.

"I have been asking myself that same question." she murmured with a sweet smile and a kiss to his forehead as he had set himself to sleeping. She stood up with a shaky sigh, rubbing her face and neck before looking over at Karen and Morgana. She needed to eat and start on what she needed to do today. Just cleaning the bathrooms, folding laundry, and practicing some of her new songs. Nothing too hard. Balia wanted to get her mind off of what had just happened and what might come of it but it was hard. Even as she and the pokemon went about the rest of the day around the sleeping man on the couch. Twice she had to shoo Aragh from waking him up, and had to pause practising her music to take everyone outside into the crisp spring air in the backyard. It was beautiful.

The weeks following their trip to One of a Kind Island and what had happened there had been a bit of a dreamlike haze. One she adores, but knew needed to settle. They needed some calm for a change. Some gentle day to day, and normal-ish relationship stuff for a while. Like what had happened before Sivos had shown up. She still got a warm fuzzy feeling at the memory of Michael agreeing to snuggle in the bed with her. She wanted to make so many more sweet memories with him. Wanted to have so many adventures! And Dates. She wanted to go on dates. Shouldn't they be doing that? Sure they'd kinda... gone wayyy past the dating phase already in some respects... but still! They needed to do things together and figure this thing out. She mused over possibilities and then went back over the events of the early morning. Mind catching onto what she'd told him about her nightmares. It had been so hard not to let everything come tumbling out when she'd told him. She didn't regret telling him, but she had a bad habit of over explaining about herself. And telling him absolutely everything right then and there would have killed their quiet moment.

It was scary opening up to a person. Michael wasn't just anyone. He was special. She was so worried that by telling him everything she was going to scare him away. But she couldn't NOT tell him. That would be the same as lying. These thoughts made her recall that Michael had wanted to talk to her about their baggage. There were so many things they probably needed to tell eachother. Before he possibly went off with Sivos to get rid of that Demon and save that other person. Or just say in general. And the sooner they did the better.

But a conversation like that would no doubt make them both anxious and other such things. And frankly when she got upset it was hard for her to calm other people down. She wasn't sure how to do this. Or even is Michael would want to talk about 'things' right then. All she really wanted to do was spend time with him and be there for him when he needed it.

She was folding sheets with Sir Buzzby's help when Sparks hopped under it to hide from Aragh and Topaz and some of the other pokemon in their game. Images of playing in sheets and making a pillow fort with her siblings danced in her head while she chased the alolan Raichu who was tangling herself and the others in the sheet.

A grin spread across her face and she looked at Karen and Morgana.

"I have a fun idea! We're gonna need my big tent, The one I took through my Kalos Journey. I'll need some of these sheets, my old string light set.... the ones that look like glass balls with string around them... and all the cushions and throw pillows!" Maybe using her big tent was cheating, but hey, it'd been a long while since she tried to make a pillow fort.

Which was exactly what they did. Made a comfy, cozy Fort out in the backyard near the pond. With her string lights hanging from the roof of the tent. In the waning evening light, she hoped it would make the whole thing kind of magical and fun.

Then came the part that might be awkward. Getting Michael into it without waking him up. She hoped he wouldn't be annoyed that they'd moved him in his sleep and without permission. That was the only difficult part. The nervousness she had about it. But once that was done and he was snoozing soundly in the Fort, Balia giggled and skipped her way into the house with girlish excitement to make something for everyone to eat now that it was pretty much dinner time. Something simple and fun. Something picnic like would be good! Like sandwiches and such! She'd make enough for everyone and would hopefully be bringing them into the fort about the time Michael would wake up.

[thelegendofjenna]

I keep seeing that 'what's your role in your family' post going around and like. i know it is light-hearted in intention but it just has me thinking.

there is like, a unique connection that i have with my dad, because my mom almost died. there were experiences that he and i shared during that time period, when she was in the hospital and nursing facility, when my dad had to work and my younger siblings were still sort of 'the kids' and i functionally became a parent. and even though my mom is doing great now and has been for years, there will occasionally be something that comes up where i am reminded of that connection i have with my dad because he and i went through that together

it's also strange to feel the change in my relationship with my sister - she's always been the baby of the family and i mothered her in some ways because i was the oldest. but now that she's an adult - and especially now that she is gaining more independence and moving out - it feels very weird that we will be at like, more similar life stages? like i'm so proud of her and happy that she is becoming an adult but i also have to fight the urge to think of her as so much younger.

anyway, my role in my family has changed, has waxed and waned, has evolved due to circumstance. maybe that is normal. maybe that's just what happens to everyone as you and your family grow up.

[ourtown-rp-blog]

ABOUT THE CHARACTER ➝

NAME ●●● Emily Grace Wilde

AGE ●●● 27

PRONOUNS ●●● She/Her

BIRTHDAY ●●● 06/22

ORDER ●●● First (Solo)

FROM ●●● Cotton Plant, Arkansas

SEXUALITY ●●● Bisexual/Heteroromantic

FULL TIME JOB ●●● Author at Hyperion Books

PART TIME JOB ●●● Lifeguard at Princess Hotel

WRITER ●●● River

↳ A CLOSER LOOK:

{ trigger warning: homophobia }

When she was younger, Emily always tried to make her parents happy in everything she did. She regularly attended church, she was well behaved at home and school, and she was always obedient. She did what she could to be the model child. As she grew older, though, she started struggling to maintain this image, particularly the religious aspect of it. She started developing her own opinions about certain topics - ones that greatly differed from her parents’ opinions. She always kept her opinions to herself, not wanting to upset her parents, but she couldn’t deny that she was mildly ashamed of the way her parents spoke about certain things, especially topics such as homosexuality.

{ WARNING: HOMOPHOBIA } When she was fifteen, she started noticing that she was looking at the girls the same way that she was looking at the boys. She started wondering what it would be like to be with a girl in the same way she’d been with boys. What it would be like to kiss a girl. Or more. She had tried talking to her pastor about her feelings and urges, but that session went about as well as it would have had she tried to talk to her parents. To make matters worse, the pastor felt it was his ‘duty’ to talk to Emily’s parents about what she had told him, and they did not take it well at all – enduring lecture after lecture about how homosexuality was a sin, one absolutely loathed by God, and she was going to go to hell if she continued down this road. It was during this time that her faith started waning, and she stopped going to church regularly, making excuses to get out of it whenever she could.

To this day, Emily still believes in God. But not the god that her parents taught her to believe in. She’s still religious, but she does not believe in organized religion. In her mind, God would never approve of such harsh judgement and treatment of people simply because of who they are or how they feel about the same sex.

For a while, Emily tried to listen to her parents. She tried to ignore the attraction she felt towards the same sex. She tried to stop her thoughts from wandering. Her desires from overtaking her mind. She started to hate herself and the way her mind worked, wondering why she couldn’t just be ‘normal’. Meeting Eva had changed things for her, though; the girl that would soon become her best friend changed the way that she looked at herself. Emily realized that her parents had been wrong, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her or her feelings. That was when she started rebelling against her parents and their religious ideologies, even if her rebellion only came in small things here and there.

As she got older, Emily learned to bite her tongue despite her parent’s ongoing commentary about every little detail and goings-on in their small town – her mother, in Emily’s opinion – was the small town’s hypocritical gossip. Despite how well she had gotten at biting her tongue, though, things became tougher in her Senior year. Eva came out of the closet as a lesbian, admitting publicly what Emily had already known, and her parents had a proverbial field day. Strict rules were put in place forbidding Emily to hang out with her best friend, her parents wanting to keep their eldest away from that kind of ‘disgusting behavior’ as they called it, and for the first time in her life Emily began outright, openly disobeying her parents. Shortly before her graduation from high school, Emily revealed to her parents that she herself was bisexual, and all hell broke loose in the Wilde house.

As soon as she graduated high school, Emily left Cotton Plant as quickly as she possibly could. She knew she would miss her siblings immensely, but she had to get away from her parents. Essentially being disowned by her parents She moved to New York City and enrolled in the Creative Writing and History programs at NYU. Writing had always been a passion of hers – as had history – so in her mind it only made sense for her to get her degrees in both subjects.

After one particularly inspirational writing prompt in one of her classes in her Senior year of college, Emily’s professor sent her submission into a publishing house that he had connections with; he had asked her before had, and she had said yes, but she had never expected anything to come of it. It wasn’t even a fully-fleshed out story. It was just a small short story; she hadn’t even been overly proud of it because it felt unfinished, but she had agreed to let her professor send it to one of his friends. The last thing she expected was to get a phone call from a junior editor at Hyperion Books who thought she really had something, especially in a culture where mythological novels were becoming popular with the younger generations. After much back and forth, the two of them agreed that she needed to finish her studies and graduate from college before fully delving into developing her up and coming novel. Just a few months later, Emily graduated from NYU with two degrees: one in Creative Writing and the other in Ancient History.

One fleshed out idea transformed into a two-book contract, with a novel that she described as ‘Harry Potter meets Percy Jackson meets Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar children’, and after her first novel stayed on the New York Times ‘Top 10 Bestsellers’ list – in varying positions – for five weeks straight, her publisher upped her contract to a five-book contract.

Shortly after starting work on her second novel, Emily thought she had met the love of her life. She was happier with Tyler than she’d ever been before. He helped her whenever she got stuck on a chapter, and no one was more supportive of her writing than he was. After eight months together, he proposed, and she happily accepted his proposal. Another year after that, Emily’s world shattered around her. Marrying Tyler had been her biggest dream come true; she thought she’d be marrying her best friend and the love of her life. The absolute last thing she expected was to be left standing at the altar. To make matters even worse, they got most of the way through the service before things went south. She had been halfway through her vows to him when he stopped her, said he couldn’t do this, and then walked away. Emily had tried to keep her composure, but she couldn’t help but break down. Since that day, Emily has been understandably hesitant when it comes to real relationships.

While she’s very proud of what she’s accomplished with her novels – more than she ever thought she’d be able to do – Emily still feels the pressure of delivering a new product that will be just as successful as her first two novels. It’s been almost a year and a half since she’s published a novel, and she’s still working on the third book, but she’s hit a mental block. With everything that happened with Tyler, she couldn’t stand to be in New York anymore – there were too many good memories turned sour – so she moved back to Cotton Plant six months ago in an attempt to clear her mind. Maybe being back in Cotton Plant could help her dislodge her mental block. Being home has helped a little, but with the pressure of what will happen if she breaks her contract with Hyperion Books by not finishing this novel is leaving her life anything but stress free.

[shsl-mothy]

45 Character Dev Q’s

Link 2 original post

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Yuka technically has/will have 2 sisters in-law’s after she is married to her fiance, Kazuo Yamamoto. One sister is named Akako Yamamoto- she and Yuka do not get along at all. In fact, Akako is the one responsible for a majority of Yuka’s bullying as she grew up. The other sister, Shiro Kamiya, was adopted into the Yamamoto family in some not-so-nice ways. Yuka has never been allowed to speak to Shiro, but she doesn’t particularly dislike Shiro either.

2.What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Yuka’s relationship with her mother is incredibly close. Her mother is the one who got Yuka interested in insects in the first place, and was the one who encouraged Yuka to study entomology if con-artistry wasn’t what she wanted. Yuka was originally supposed to get into the Kagome clan’s business in crime, however due to her horrid health and waning interest in such things, her mother pulled some strings for her daughter so that Yuka could just study and live as she liked. Her and her mother are inseparable- it is a very loving relationship.

3.What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Yuka is also very close with her father. Yuka sees him less as his work as a hitman is very sticky work and he has to put that before his family, however Yuka is a total daddy’s girl. She loves her father very much- and he would do anything for his daughter. He’s viciously protective of her, to the point of where he would kill for her in a heartbeat if that meant she was safe. He’s also the one responsible for while Yuka is so spoiled- he rarely says no to her.

4.Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Multiple things have changed her, pre-despair and post-despair. Pre-despair, the first thing that fundementally changed Yuka was likely when her giant hornets were accidentally cued to attack her fiance. She watched this huge man whom she platonically loves almost die at the hand of her study, which she though she had a master control over. At this point in her life, she was already very down on herself and rarely socialised with anybody, so this was the nail in the coffin of her having a very negative self esteem. She ran to HPA to try and build up her mastery over her study after that, determined to never let her fiance see her again until she could prove to him she had control.

Post-despair, I suppose something that fundamentally changed her was both Adachi and Genta’s death. She deeply respects those two, and after they both died, despite it being horrifically traumatising for her, she felt a growing sense of determination to try and succeed for them. Once it came out that it was a simulation and she was able to speak to these boys again, she had already grown into a slightly braver person. This is why she acts so differently now from how she was at the beginning of the game.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Honestly... she doesn’t do this in game anymore, but in pre-despair, it was easy to find insects in her pockets. And other items like sweet scents, sugars, and pheromones. She carried them because she wanted to attract bugs to her as much as possible. She also carries her basic essentials with her, such as identification, her wallet, money, etc. Various medications are on her as well, and surprisingly, a switchblade. She didn’t get it in game, but she typically carries one outside of the game. 

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Not really? But Yuka doesn’t sleep very often, so when she does, her dreams are incredibly vivid, almost surreal.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

When she has nightmares, she typically dreams about hornets. They don’t usually do just one thing, they’re just typically hornet nightmares. As of late in the game, Yuka finds herself dreaming about past death’s as well.

8.Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

She has! Though she’s awful at it because she’s so physically weak that even handguns make her arms tired, her father taught her how to shoot a gun. Her first target was a normal paper target. No, she did not hit the centre ever. She managed to get the paper at least a little bit, though.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yuka has always been ultra rich and has had a high social standing. It’s not a very popular standing based on the fact that she was born into the higher ranks of a crime syndicate, but she is still rich and very ladylike when she needs to be. However, she hasn’t always lived in a huge mansion. She used to live in a very small town- her parents wanted her to live peacefully as a child before moving into the bigger city with the larger main clan of yakuza, where her fiance lives. Unfortunately, with her bullying history, it wasn’t very peaceful, but the intent was there.

Yuka actually has a lot of sway on what she can make happen in the crime world merely because of who she is and who she is getting married to (future oyabun of the Yamamoto clan), but she never actually does any work herself. Consider her a spoiled princess instead of a queen.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Yuka doesn’t mind either way, though she has a penchant for always wearing dangerously short skirts.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Probably when Kazuo almost died in front of her or when he nearly beat somebody to death for her right before her eyes. Also, when Genta actually died in front of her. Scary stuff! The current oyabun of the Yamamoto clan also scares Yuka a lot, any situation she needs to speak to him she gets very nervous, especially since she almost killed his son on accident.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Whenever she is left alone to her own devices and is focusing on her work, is when she is the most calm. She loves her intricate studies. She also feels very calm in Kazuo’s arms, and now in-game: Ailani’s.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

She has a normal squick to it. She’s not grossed out for a certain reason, but it’s not nice to look at in great amounts either.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I’d say shes good at both, but is slightly better at names. She’s got a mind for information.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Yuka is very very material. She loves money, she flaunts money, and she carelessly spends money- merely because she grew up with whatever she wanted. Yuka was incredibly spoiled. Yuka isn’t necessarily greedy to the point of wanting everything in the world, she is just not used to people saying no to her.  But, on the other hand... her entire wardrobe is custom made for her, for pete’s sake.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Yuka goes for success. It’s sort of sad, but a truth of her family is- no matter how loving it is to her, they are built on accomplishments. Yuka is very loyal to her family, so thinking of disobeying and not being as successful as she can be is very bothersome to her. However, as of late, Yuka’s been slightly considering going the happiness route. In the back of her head, she’s considering running away from her arranged marriage... but it’s still a lot to consider for her.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Yuka has a little porcelain doll that she liked a lot. Yuka loved loved loved this butterfly net she got from her mother. Her mother used to catch butterflies to pin them, and she gave it to Yuka when she showed interest in butterflies and moth’s as well.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Yuka’s lowkey a sapiosexual, so she admires the fuck out of wisdom. It’s why she likes Genta so much. This wisdom doesn’t need to be academic though, she admire’s Adachi for his practical and gruff wisdom (so to speak).

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Yuka’s biggest flaw is the fact Yuka is incredibly nervous and scared of people. It’s calmed down over the course of the game, as it’s forced her to take a more brave role, but her fear of people, social inept’ness and overall rude and push-away personality has caused many of her relationships to crumble, in and out of game. In addition, it’s why she was bullied so harshly growing up.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Yuka compares herself to others so damn much. She does it very unhealthily, and tries to compare herself to others, hoping she would amount to them. She self criticises too much. At the same time, she tries to put others down for being lesser or lower class than others, so it’s a vicious cycle.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Highly depends. Yuka is highly logical in this manner. If she makes it out to be another person’s fault by fact, then Yuka is absolutely relentless in letting other’s know they are at fault. (Just ask Sarara and Holly, and a little Michiko, Yuka has fucking went OFF on them in canon!) 

However, when Yuka thinks it’s her fault, she gets incredibly down on herself. To the point of where it’s obsessive, and incredibly unhealthy. She has always been negative and depressive So if something is her fault, she practically grovels to try and gain forgiveness- it’s pretty bad.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Yuka appreciates smarts, patience, and somebody brave enough to protect her, but not belittle her as weak. She appreciates people who can give her long conversation, or people that just try to work hard in general. She herself is spoiled, but it’s hard for her to relate to other spoiled people. Though, it’s not impossible persay- she is friend’s with Michiko after all.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

A LOT. Yuka is so... so... SO fucking picky about who she associates with. She’s judgemental of people who are too mean, too emotional, yet too emotionless, to reckless, yet people who are too particular. She’s such a hypocrite too, she’s some of the traits she hates as well.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

It takes such a long damn time. Nobody in the game has gained her full trust. She has people she trusts to a degree, and she appreciates them a lot, but only people like her fiance, who she’s known since childhood, are the truly trusted people in her life. It takes a long time for her to even consider you an acquaintance, so.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Yuka keeps her suspicion separate from her personal relations, so if she is suspect of someone, it doesn’t change her personal thoughts on somebody. Hell, they could be guilty and she would still think of them positively. However, if you wrong her in particular... that’s when you should be a little concenred. Yuka is big on trust and grudges.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Yuka is surprisingly SUPER motherly. She takes after her own mother, in multiple ways. One way is that around children, she’s very caring and observant, she want’s to make them happy. She wouldn’t be a mother herself, but she’s a brilliant auntie.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Yuka’s pretty baaaad at confrontation usually. However, if you manage to get on her grudge list, then she will go to you and list your every flaw to you. Again, just ask Sarara, Holly, and maybe Michiko hahaha. Yuka goes from a nervous wreck to a furious monologuer, it’s both intimidating and lame.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Yuka Kagome is a fucking bug, she’s so damn weak and sickly- she CANNOT resort of physical violence herself. Now, if her fiance and gang are around, or if she has easy hires around, THAT’S a completely different story.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Yuka wanted to write children’s books. For a while she also wanted to become an idol.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Yuka HATE’S sweets with a passion. It makes her gag. Though, she hates it for a reason actually. Yuka is used to being surrounded in a sweet scent, that smells like a combination of sweet sugars, rotting fruit, and intense flowers. It’s simply just being around that for way too long that make her lose interest in sweet tasting foods. Make’s her gag, actually. It’s a sacrifice she makes to attract insects.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Yuka is most comfortable when she’s surrounded by people that she loves, surrounded by people that know her for who she really is. Yuka as a person is incredibly caring and loving, it’s just that she has suffered a lot to the point of where she feels she needs to hide that part of her. When she is surrounded by her loved ones and interests, in an environment she loves (nature) she mellows out immensely.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Yuka hates crowds- she often panics in them. New people, people bombarding her, and expecting things of her make her very nervous. She hates being in positions of authority as well. She deeply prefers solitude or people around her closer circle of friends.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Highly depends on the situation. If it’s legitimate criticism, Yuka will consider it and change her ways, if it involves information unrelated to her. If it’s uneducated criticism or unwarranted, or if it relates to her emotionally, she gets incredibly defensive and even acts threatened- she hates her intelligence or way of life being questioned in negative ways.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Yuka will usually try to improve the method a bit more, before giving it up. An example is nightwatch. It was started to be used against them, so she tried to change it before giving up on it completely. She doesn’t like people who give up easily, so she only moves on to new methods if she has exhausted all her options of attempt.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

I mentioned this earlier in a few other points, but Yuka is very sweet and caring. Very motherly as well- she’s very caring. She loves to spoil her friends and loved ones if they’re truly close to her. She’ll spend ridiculous amounts of money on them, and make them homemade meals. Yuka will even listen to their problems. She is still logical, so she’s not the best to ask for answers you want to hear, but she is good at telling you what you need to hear to truly get something fixed or finished.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

So. Pettily. Yuka will usually put aside her dislike to cooperate in times of need, but in normal situations, Yuka is honest about her distaste and will make sure somebody knows it. She’s very petty, and will start fights if she feels even slightly threatened by them. However, if she feels like she has the upper hand on them, she can get very condescending, as if they’re not worth her wasting her breath.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Yuka ties in honour with her status, so I suppose it’s both. Her family is very honour based, however they have their own definition in honour obviously as her family is a crime syndicate. They find this honour through servitude and success, so status is very important back at home for her. It’s partially why she is so incredibly defensive about her relationship with Ailani! Yuka feels like it’s wrong for her to be in that relationship at all, because she’s betraying her familial honour and the engagement they put her into. It’s her one role to play since she never had to go into the business- so she hates being teased about it.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

The latter. But again, that depends on if she’s alone or surrounded by her Peeps. If she has her fiance’s gang around her, or her fiance in general, or people she’s hired, she is indeed ruthless enough to try and remove a threat. Yes, by death. She’s... not a good person.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

No! Well, yes if you are the type to count insects as animals. She’s been bitten and stung by her insects countless times. She used to cry because of it, but now that she’s relatively seasoned as an entomologist, she can handle it pretty calmly, as she knows what to do if they’re venomous or harmful. Never been bitten by a larger animal, though.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Yuka is polite and kind. She isn’t overly warm, as she has no need to be, but she has never mistreated anybody in a job relating to service. Yuka is particularly close to her fiance’s butler though, if we want to be literal in terms of ‘service’ job.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

If it’s relating to material items, she sort of just expects it to come to her as that is how she was raised. But goals and accomplishments must be gained of your own hard work- she hates slackers.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Her fiance’s father and mother, in a way. He’s a scary ass parental figure, but he’s taken care of Yuka sometimes.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

No, she has not.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

It takes Yuka 6 fucking years to actually say I love you confidentially to Ailani outside of this murder game. Another 4 to even consider marriage. Yuka has such a hard time saying I love you. She can never say it without meaning it- it’s a huge step for her as a person.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Yuka on a normal basis doesn’t really think about death, it’s more of just a reality thing for her. The thought of her life being taken away scares her more than the actual concept of death. In a killing game though, that has been warped a bit over time.

[joannabethharvelle]

1OO IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS

[[ This is originally a meme, but I’m gonna do this shit as a character study because it’s been a long damn time since I’ve done anything like this.  This is for MainVerse!Jo ]]

(taken from beth kinderman and nikki walker’s the 100 most important things to know about your character. a good list to help develop a character’s background, personality, and general aspects.)

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? Joanna Beth Harvelle

Where and when were you born? In Nebraska on April 7th

Who are/were your parents? William and Ellen Harvelle, both deceased

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. Rebuilt the Roadhouse in Nebraska, lives on a house on the back property alone

What is your occupation? Hunter/Bartender

What is the full physical description of yourself? Blonde, brown eyes, 5;4″, slim/athletic build. Pierced earlobes (that are almost always closed up), and an ankle tattoo consisting of three tiny sigils stacked over each other in white ink: an antipossession symbol, a Hexagram of Solomon, and a pentagram interlocked with the Celtic knot. Criss-crossed scars on abdomen.

To which social class do you belong? Middle

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Suffers stomach pains from old internal injuries, nightmares

Are you right- or left-handed? Right

What does your voice sound like? Mild and even keel for the most part, can get melodic at times. Has a tendancy to get higher pitched when angry

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Other than cuss words, doesn’t have any catch phrases

What do you have in your pockets? Pocket knife, wallet, phone, mini flask of holy water

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Often worries lip to the point of blood when upset, can spin coins and pencils over her knuckles

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? Rough, but good. Strained when William was hunting but healthy, happy and thriving when all three were reunited. After William’s death, things turned much more grim.

What is your earliest memory? “I remember the first time the power went out -- I was so little and I was scared, but my mom and dad lit candles and we ate sandwiches on our living room floor.”

How much schooling have you had? Got partially through University

Did you enjoy school? Did NOT

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? From Ellen, William, at the Roadhouse, and from other hunters that drifted in and out of her life

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. William has been the driving force behind almost all of her motivations

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Yes, as well as a single mother and daughter living in a world of hunters can

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? A hunter

As a child, what were your favorite activities? Collecting things; knives, trinkets from trips/Williams hunts. Used to dabble in painting but gave it up to learn self defense and weapons training

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? Sweet, happy; hyper and bouncy and full of life and energy. When William passed, it shifts to fiercely independent and rebellious; wild and risk taking.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? No, and there were very few friends

When and with whom was your first kiss? A hunter’s son behind the Roadhouse in the middle of the night. They’d gotten caught

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? No, and it was surprisingly late -- not until after college. It was a drifter with no ties and whose name she never learned. The romantic streak in her regrets it; its a blur of memory, done out of grief and while intoxicated

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. Does not apply

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Coming back from the brink of death and coming to terms with being completely alone

Who has had the most influence on you? There are several key players; William, Ellen, Castiel, Dean, and Bobby are her main influencers

What do you consider your greatest achievement? The bleak outlook and low self esteem keeps any sort of achievement feel insignificant

What is your greatest regret? Every drop of innocent blood that’s on her hands

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? There was a moment in her life after Missouri where she had a bit of a psychotic break, going off the grid for a while and indulging a very different style of hunting than she was accustomed to

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Many small crimes, managed to stay off the radar enough that there is nothing major

When was the time you were the most frightened? On the ground in the hardware store

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? College and everything about it

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? There are too many things she’d change, too many regrets to pick one

What is your best memory? She only has a handful in total, so they’re getting listed. All memories from before Bill died, the ones she can remember. Drinking with Cas and Ellen the night before they took on Lucifer. The day she met the Winchesters. Learning constellations from Cas. Rebuilding the Roadhouse.

What is your worst memory? Every death witnessed, as well as everything surrounding her near death

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic, though with age is has waned

What is your greatest fear? Causing the death of the few people she loves

What are your religious views? Religion is synonymous with material for work

What are your political views? She has very, very little. Too busy keeping track of the supernatural problems to focus much on political ones

What are your views on sex? Loves it, though isn’t quick to offer it or accept the proposition

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Easily, now. If the monster has killed maliciously with no hope of redemtion, killing is justified. For the good and protection of innocents and the world, killing is justified. In her mind, but very rarely, it is a justifiable form of punishment in the hunting world

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Jo believes that humans have the potential to be fucking evil. She’s seen too many evil things to fathom one that could be considered the ‘most’

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yes, despite how much she doesn’t want to

What do you believe makes a successful life? Successfully spreading kindness and love and leaving the world better than when you were brought into it.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Has huge walls; hides emotions and who she really is from everyone unless she trusts them implicitly, and even then she has to work at it

Do you have any biases or prejudices? None that I can think of, other than she is incredibly biased when it comes to people she trusts. It takes a lot to get to that point, and she can become loyal and defensive to a fault

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Torture, she can never bring herself to cause someone pain in that fashion no matter who or what they are

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Someone she loves

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? Can come off abrasive to other hunters or the bar brawling type, but is generally polite and pleasant to everyone. She has a quick temper though, and its easy to get on her bad side. She opens up much more with people she trusts and can be quite silly, given the occasion

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Bill. He shaped who she is

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Self respect is the most important

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? She considers herself friends with the Winchester Brothers, Castiel, Bobby, and several regulars that come through the Roadhouse

Do you have a spouse or significant other? No

Have you ever been in love? No

What do you look for in a potential lover? Someone kind who will treat her right, understand the life, and who makes her feel safe and can make her laugh

How close are you to your family? They are deceased

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No, because hunting leaves no room for families. She would love to start one, in a different life

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Winchesters, Castiel

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? The previous answer applies

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Jo believes she would be missed initially but in the grand scheme of things, no one

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? God, and because of everything that his absence put in motion

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Argue

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? She can if she wants, but depending on the crowd she usually prefers to blend in

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Not particularly, too many people she can’t trust

Do you care what others think of you? No

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Playing pool and poker, practicing shooting, painting

What is your most treasured possession? The small pocket knife that belonged to her dad

What is your favorite color? Yellow and blue

What is your favorite food? Nothing better than a homemade meal, anything made for her with love instantly becomes her favorite

What, if anything, do you like to read? Lore books, classical literature, anything concerning the occult

What is your idea of good entertainment? She enjoys a night out, but is very easily entertained. Simply coffee with someone counts as entertainment to her

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? Drinks regularly, hardly ever smokes (has had maybe five ever); cigarettes, if she ever does.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Hunting or running the Roadhouse

What makes you laugh? Sharp wit and general silliness is an easy way to get her amused

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Not much anymore

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Insomnia is common, alcohol and television or surfing the web is the distraction

How do you deal with stress? Alcohol and physical exhertion

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Equal mix of both

What are your pet peeves? Rudeness

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? Chaos is a daily occurrence these days. Routine would be more difficult

What is your greatest strength as a person? Self reliant and independent

What is your greatest weakness? Stubborn and a hot temper, loyalty to those she loves

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? She wants to be braver

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Extroverted

Are you generally organized or messy? Very messy with personal things, but extremely organized with anything work or hunting related

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. 1) Weapons training, 2) Memorization, 3) Sex -- 1) Cooking, 2) Public speaking, 3) Math

Do you like yourself? No

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? At first it was because of Bill, but after Missouri its because she feels like its the least she can do with a second chance

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Make the world a safer and more loved place

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Hopefully not dead

If you could choose, how would you want to die? Go down fighting again

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. “I’d say goodbye to the people I love, find somebody else to run the Roadhouse to make sure it would still serve as a safe haven, and then I’d kick back and drink the best goddamn whiskey I could get my hands on.”

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? “I never want there to be any question about what I believed in, stood for, and who I loved.”

What three words best describe your personality? Stubborn, kind, dry humor

What three words would others probably use to describe you? Smart ass, loyal, determined

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? She just needs to ease up on the guilt and the self assigned responsibilities and learn a little more self love, in the emotional sense. 

[mybooktopia]

Xxx Asian

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[msmaillady-blog1]

Screaming Asian

I recently read an article by gaming blogger Nathan Grayson whom attempted Virtual Reality (VR) porn. Once you understand the things I learn about the effect high rate online porn is having on individuals sex lives after spending 2 years researching porn addiction and its relationship to the porn industry, I shuddered when Grayson quoted this anonymous man... "At very first it felt surreal and disconnected, but I timed myself to get off during the time that is same did," said this individual, whom preferred to keep anonymous. "And unexpectedly, we came, so we had that minute of [exhausted breathing sounds]. She had been breathing during the time that is same. Then she seemed me into the optical attention and leaned in and said, ' I adore you, baby.' I happened to be like, 'Wow, that has been amazing.' And then I understood I'd just had that experience having a girlfriends that are few my entire life. That's when I discovered this shit is crazy. In order to connect with a human you need so numerous things, and also this attained it almost straight away. This girl had been here she recognized me personally, and she appreciated me. beside me, and" To go from "strangers" to "joint orgasm" to " I like you child" with a sexy avatar that "appreciates you" in minutes is really mindblowing due to the implications of what that may do for normal sexual relations for the long term. Not having to produce any efforts to having the sexual and devotion that is emotional of "someone" - even if that "someone" can be an avatar - will likely be very appealing to some. Imagine it... never ever once more being forced to shave, wash, modification out of your sweaty work garments or clean your smile to have lovingly set; never again being forced to face rejection because you are shy, have pimples or are socially phobic; never ever once again being forced to have the usually tedious motions of courting someone... As things stand today, many escalating porn users have previously stopped sex along with their partners in the main - unless their lovers act like porn performers and even then interest within the partner wanes over time unless that person keeps upping the ante on their "porn performances" in synch using their partner's escalating sexual needs or adds more individuals towards the intimate mix. In the 20 odd years considering that the Internet entered our everyday lives and high rate Internet porn replaced having to purchase VHS porn videos from Adult Stores or Mail Order, sexual relations between couples have changed considerably. Based on my research, more and more people are starting to see their real naked partners as simply bad porn; more and more this generation of young men remain virgins in their 20s and 30s or get "porn creep" when they make an effort to have sex (an failure getting an erection) or just generally speaking have erection dysfunction because of masturbation that is compulsive. The blogger writes "Maybe we'll stop having sex with each other in the article. Possibly this is the end of mankind." He doesn't know how close to the truth he's with that statement... Because of the science behind porn addiction (you can find an article we published about that ON THIS SITE ), and asian pornstars ifl porn addicts needing to keep pumping the brain chemicals dopamine and adrenaline around their bodies, soon, everything need been done in real person porn ( aside from live porn with addicts trussed as much as advanced vagina or penis simulated gear) then VR porn will truly simply take the stage in a big method. In a sea of free Internet porn, the Industry happens to be struggling to produce money. The porn that is only makes cash today is porn which gets adrenaline increasingly released into the body during benders - things that addicts are slowly exposed to as being a bender progresses - like anal relapses, "shemales", and ultra violent "forced"/ rape porn for example. Porn addicts are addicted to adrenaline and dopamine time that is big this is exactly what keeps them coming back to porn every single day and just why porn is really defended by people in general and addicts in specific. It's simply the pleasure principle jacked as much as tooth. I do not buy the Free Speech arguments. That's all puff and wind to distract from the genuine issue of the anxiety about having orgasms on faucet removed.

Whenever VR porn settles into our future, it will tick every field. It will give addicts the "intimacy" they crave that they are lacking with their lovers - or anybody at all if nevertheless virgins - and will pump dopamine and adrenaline amounts through the roof while there is no end to how violent, crazed or grotesque VR porn can get - like its more youthful high rate Web porn sibling before it. At the moment, there are just so many penises the industry can presently fit into real performers and just a great deal violence they could heap they break inside (physically and psychologically) but in VR porn there will be no such limits - a pornographers dream on them before. VR porn might just turn out to be the final nail in the coffin of genuine closeness between couples and might fully seal the offer for mankind in the act when people finally masturbate themselves into extinction.

[phynxrizng]

DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR, 7-23-17

ASTROLOGY TOOLS FREE NATAL CHART REPORT ABOUT CONTACT Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology

DAILY ASTROLOGY TODAY MONTHLY Astrology of Today – Sunday, July 23, 2017

Jul 22, 2017 by ANNIE LEAVE A COMMENT



The Moon is in Cancer until 4:33 AM, after which the Moon is in Leo. The Moon is void from 2:04 AM to 4:33 AM. The Moon is waning and in its Waning Crescent/Balsamic phase until 5:45 AM, after which the Moon is waxing and in its New phase. The New Moon occurs today in the sign of Leo. The Sun spends its first full day in Leo (the Sun is in Leo from July 22-August 22). Times are EDT. Horoscopes Aries



The New Moon occurring this morning brings further strength to make changes and start fresh, dear Aries. It opens doors for you on romantic and creative fronts in the coming weeks. This is a time for starting new hobbies, finding new avenues for entertainment and creative expression, and, for some of you, romantic relationships. It’s also time to inject more fun into your life. With the Sun and the Moon applying to your ruler, Mars, in fellow Fire sign, Leo, you are pumped up and super-motivated to enjoy yourself and to express yourself creatively. This is a time for following your heart rather than the crowd. If you’ve been working way too hard, and many of you have, this is a time for finding ways to lighten the load. You’re braver and more courageous than usual about pursuing who and what you want. Be careful not to become over-confident when it comes to taking risks with your money, however.

In the weeks ahead, you’ll be bringing healing and wholeness, as well as some refinement and organization, to your home life and family relationships, dear Taurus. The New Moon occurring today connects with brave, action-oriented Mars, and you’ll have a lot of energy to pour into your personal life in the weeks ahead. Even so, you’ll be looking to cast anchor on a psychological level. It’s a time for boosting your comfort levels and increasing self-knowledge. You might also work on plans that make you feel more secure in the long-term, or you may be laying down the foundation for a long-term venture. Reorganizing or renovating in the home are favored. Some of you may move, and others will work on improving current living conditions and arrangements. You’ll need to get over a hump before pushing ahead, however, with Venus and Saturn moving towards an opposition, but dealing with financial problems head-on makes sense now.

Gemini



A New Moon occurring this morning brings new-beginning energy to your world, dear Gemini, particularly when it comes to meeting new people, learning new things, and finding interesting ways to connect, get around, and communicate. It’s likely to stimulate all-new interests now and in the coming weeks, as well as new avenues for expressing yourself. You can feel a rush of desire to take a course or begin a new project now. You’re connecting with people and information that help round out your life. The coming weeks are active for new writing projects, friendships, courses, transportation opportunities, and relationships with siblings and neighbors. For some of you, there could be a breakdown in transportation or communications that bring about the need to do things differently. For others, you could get the courage to begin something you’ve often dreamed of doing, or you might speak up about a matter that needs addressing.

Cancer



The New Moon that occurs this morning brings a blast of energy that may very well inspire you to take charge of your finances, dear Cancer. Unexpected events surrounding your finances can occur in the coming weeks, and you may want to tame impulses to spend that come on suddenly, but overall, circumstances are pushing you into new and improved directions. You can feel quite energized, enthusiastic, and driven, in fact, to take charge of matters related to security. Some of you could be looking to make more money, but this cycle is more about getting into a position of control for most. Opportunities to better your business or to get yourself back on a more productive schedule should be taken now and in the coming weeks, although you may need to get over a hump in the form of facing reality on a practical matter before moving forward with new plans.

Leo

The New Moon occurring this morning is in your sign, dear Leo, and this brings a sense of a personal new beginning. This can be a time to reinvent yourself in some significant way or to come out of your shell and express yourself more creatively and spontaneously. You can be at your most impulsive now and in the next few days, and while you possess tremendous energy, it would be wise to weigh all sides of a situation before pushing forward. Pace yourself! However, do consider new projects and initiatives now. You have more impact and personal presence in the weeks ahead. You are receiving a blast of energy that you can harness to bring about needed changes in your life, and especially in your personality, manner, appearance, and image. Something may need to go for you to move forward with less baggage and more confidence.

Virgo

The New Moon this morning brings heightened awareness of the need for more privacy and time for reflection in your life, dear Virgo. As this New Moon connects to Mars, you’re likely to be facing buried anger or desires, which can burst forth quite suddenly now. The weeks ahead are strong for review of the past year and for clearing out the cobwebs before you begin your new birthday year. You may be discovering sides of yourself that you’ve recently overlooked, and this can be illuminating. Powerful feelings surface, and your intuition can demand attention as you become aware of issues that you ignored or simply didn’t see or notice before now. You also have take-charge energy with you for dealing with unresolved matters of the past. This can be a wonderful time for recognizing a need to approach your life in new and improved ways, and you’re focused on changes from the inside out.

Libra



The New Moon occurring this morning brings a blast of energy to the sector of your solar chart that rules your friendships and group associations, as well as your hopes and wishes for the future, dear Libra. This area of your chart is getting a lot of attention this week and will continue to be active in the coming weeks. A feeling of belonging assumes more prominence in your life and drives much of what you do. You might choose to become more actively involved in your community, or to network and share more of yourself with associates. Surprising events surrounding a social matter can occur now. You can experience romantic or creative energy — or increased emotional satisfaction — with or through friends and group associations. With your ruler, Venus, approaching an opposition to Saturn, however, you may need to get over a hump before you feel free to push forward, and this reality check can help you pace yourself.

Scorpio



The New Moon this morning brings a charge of energy to your professional life, dear Scorpio. The coming weeks are about taking action and shooting for the stars! Your ambitions are high now — perhaps at their peak — and you’re ready to pursue your goals and make needed changes in your life. There are likely to be some hurdles to get over, but these may help you pace yourself. Discern between being impulsive and honoring your impulses. You want to take the lead and initiative, and this can be a time for launching something pivotal. In the coming days, you’ll be clearer about putting something behind you to move forward. It’s a time for pushing your normal boundaries a little as Mars connects with the New Moon and gives you extra muscle and courage. A new project, image, or a new lease on your career can be in the works in the weeks ahead.

Sagittarius



The New Moon this morning brings a charge of energy to your adventure sector, dear Sagittarius. If you’re itching to do something entirely new and adventurous, then the weeks ahead are ideal for doing so. You’re taking on a braver, more courageous approach to your life, and you’re excited about what you might learn and discover. Those of you looking to expand your horizons or education can be highly motivated now. A new beginning of sorts is in the offing. You’ll be anxious to set plans in motion for new experiences, adventures, and a stronger understanding of your life’s purpose. You’ll still do well to follow some routines, but in a general sense, stepping outside of them for a spell or from time to time can energize and inspire you. Be bold but avoid rash moves. As well, be sure to check in with current commitments, even if they don’t seem quite as compelling.

Capricorn



The New Moon this morning brings power to your private world, dear Capricorn, as it occurs in your solar eighth house –  a sector of your chart that’s receiving a lot of attention this week and will continue to be active for weeks ahead. This is a time for getting a stronger sense of who you are and what you want. It’s also an excellent period for handling debts to others or for gaining support you need, whether these are of the material or emotional variety. Because the New Moon connects to Mars, you can experience insistent desires that you may have buried or left unacknowledged in the past. You might deal with tricky or sticky matters bravely, rallying for your needs or your fair share. Some of you could begin a new intimate relationship or elevate a current one to new heights. Sharing of resources can be in focus. Drawing upon others’ resources to get something done is possible now. The weeks ahead are good for taking charge of your finances, and if you need some support, you’re likely to find that people are more willing to offer it.

Aquarius



A New Moon occurs this morning, dear Aquarius, opposite your sign. A door opens for change in a close relationship now and in the coming weeks. A fresh start in a partnership, or with someone new, can figure strongly. This is a great time for improving your ability to negotiate with, or simply relate to, others on a one-to-one basis. Relationship needs awaken, and unusual impulses can overcome you that push you into a new beginning of sorts. Expect the unexpected when it comes to others in the weeks ahead of you. Attractions and pairings are in focus now. Even so, you may need to get over a hump tonight and tomorrow before you feel free to pursue your desires.

Pisces



The New Moon occurring this morning can jumpstart a new direction, dear Pisces, and motivate you to take charge of work or health matters. This is a time for new beginnings and fresh energy in your daily affairs. In the weeks ahead, you’ll be taking better care of yourself as well as organizing and primping your daily routines. Improved methods help you in many areas of life — the more organized and on top of the details of your life you feel, the more confident you approach many other life departments. There can be job offers in the coming weeks, or you could have new priorities and tasks to manage. Unexpected changes can nudge you towards creating better conditions. Draw on the courage to make changes but watch for impulsiveness and impatience – don’t push yourself too hard.

*Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign and know your birth time, you can look it up here.

If Your Birthday is July 23rd, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here.

Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology):







Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 4:33 am Event: Moon enters Leo Description: The Moon in Leo We have a stronger need for appreciation, shows of affection and warmth, and excitement. We are proud and conduct ourselves accordingly. This is a time for having some fun, being creative and childlike, and enjoying life. It’s also a good time for organizing and managing.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:04 am Event: Moon goes void of course

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 5:45 am Event: New Moon at 0°Le44′

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:04 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Ura Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Uranus There may be sudden, minor changes to plans, schedules. There can be rebelliousness and tension. Aim to be open to possibilities, and avoid making permanent decisions.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:22 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Tri Chi Description: Transiting Moon Trine Transiting Chiron There can be new or easy understanding of our feelings and impressions now. We have a greater understanding of, or compassion for, others’ plights. We are more emotionally present and involved. Synchronicity is a feature of our daily life right now. Tune in and enjoy the spiritual signposts.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:47 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Nep Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Neptune If we are not in touch with our need for inspiration, beauty, compassion, connection to something otherworldly, or our spirituality, we could feel out of sorts right now. Relaxing, listening to music, getting close to nature, or taking a break may resolve this.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 4:33 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Leo Description: Transiting Moon Entering Leo We have a stronger need for appreciation, shows of affection and warmth, and excitement. We are proud and conduct ourselves accordingly. This is a time for having some fun, being creative and childlike, and enjoying life. It’s also a good time for organizing and managing.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 5:45 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Sun Description: Transiting Moon Conjunction Transiting Sun It’s a New Moon and we have a chance to wipe the slate clean and start anew. This is an impulsive time.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 7:41 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Mar Description: Transiting Moon Conjunction Transiting Mars Emotions are all-consuming. We desire adventure, change, and action. We can be hasty and rash, but if we use common sense as well, it can be a good time for getting the courage to do something brave. Instinctive reactions are quick. Courage, mon brave! Make those quick decisions. It’s a time for showing leadership skills.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:21 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Ven Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Venus Relationships may be subtly strained or unsettled. Try to relax and not obsess. Restlessness can lead to poor choices or overindulgence. Show restraint and reap the rewards.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 2:38 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Qnx Jun Description: Transiting Moon Quincunx Transiting Juno There can be some inclination to manipulate others to further our own goals, which should be avoided. There may be indecision regarding feelings about a relationship. Alternatively, there can be a conundrum regarding family and a relationship.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 4:01 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Sat Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Saturn We could feel burdened, restricted, or limited during this brief influence. We could be feeling a little down on ourselves, excluded, or lonely. There can be some awkwardness or stiffness and difficulty showing affection and feelings. Patience is a virtue right now; otherwise we might succumb to feelings of frustration and sadness. All good things come to those who wait.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 4:30 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Pal Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Pallas Our judgment may be temporarily impaired by excessive emotions or emotional bias. We may be experiencing a conundrum. Someone’s belief or idea can make us feel insecure or out of sorts, or otherwise rub us the wrong way. There can be sensitivity to others’ opinions experienced now.

Date & Time: Jul 23 2017 9:23 pm Event: Tr-Tr Plu Sqq Ves Description: Transiting Pluto SesquiSquare Transiting Vesta We can be hell-bent on pursuing our goals, perhaps in a disruptive manner. Commitments to others can weigh on us heavily now. Compromise can be difficult, but may be the best solution to conflicts.

Strong Signs, Elements, Modes LEO STRONG Self-confident, generous, warm-hearted, powerful leader, dramatic. Can be overly proud, vain, extravagant, arrogant.

BALANCE OF ELEMENTS

FIRE STRONG Fire is enthusiastic, dynamic, and spontaneous, but lacks reflection. We are more courageous and adventurous now, with a tendency to act before thinking. There is little concern about what happened in the past. We are competitive and possibly impatient or bored easily. EARTH WEAK There can be a lack of desire, interest, or skills regarding practical affairs. We may not be very much in touch with reality. Difficulties concentrating, grounding ourselves. WATER WEAK There may be some insensitivity or lack of empathy now. We may be out of touch with what we’re feeling or with our emotional needs. We may be tougher than usual now, and more inclined to follow mental or practical considerations than we are to listen to our intuition.

BALANCE OF MODES

FIXED STRONG We are thinking about the long view, seeking out security and stability rather than change. We may be committed, focused, resistant to making changes, and stubborn.

LUNAR PHASE: NEW MOON Moon 0 to 45 degrees ahead of the Sun. This is an energetic, impulsive, and subjective period of time. We are looking for new projects and opportunities.

The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EDT) on July 23rd: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies.

Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours, so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today).

**I suggest paying close attention to applying aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over. Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime).

THE MOON

THE MOON IN LEO You have an emotional need for praise and attention. Under stress you may show off in order to gain attention, or become arrogant. You may be proud of your mother, or she may be very proud of you.

5TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right carotid artery Sabian Symbol: Rock formations at the edge of a precipice.

ASPECTS OF THE MOON CONJUNCTION THE SUN Orb 3°34′ Separating A New Moon. Intensity of focus, a new beginning, fresh energy, intiative, impulse.

CONJUNCTION MARS Orb 2°31′ Separating Emotions are all-consuming. We desire adventure, change, and action. We can be hasty and rash, but if we use common sense as well, it can be a good time for getting the courage to do something brave. Instinctive reactions are quick.

TRINE CHIRON Orb 5°54′ Separating There can be new or easy understanding of our feelings and impressions now. We have a greater understanding of, or compassion for, others’ problems. We are more emotionally present and involved.

THE SUN

THE SUN IN LEO You are good-hearted, have a sunny personality, and a strong need for attention. You have a generous nature, but can be arrogant.

1ST DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Left coronary artery Sabian Symbol: Under emotional stress, blood rushes to a man’s head.

ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION MARS Orb 1°02′ Applying We are more direct, spontaneous, and impulsive now, but can also be too self-focused and impatient.

SQUARE URANUS Orb 2°30′ Separating We may want to break free from restrictions or responsibilities, but if we aren’t in touch with this need, we could cause some problems or feel restless and irritable. There could be rebellious feelings. We don’t want to be told what to do. Use this time to see what changes need to be made.

TRINE CHIRON Orb 2°20′ Separating We find it easier to bounce back from criticism, rejection, or feelings of insecurity; to humble ourselves. We can be filled with a sense of purpose. We more easily cooperate with others.

MERCURY

MERCURY IN LEO You are enthusiastic in your quest for knowledge. You are proud of your learning abilities, and believe in the saying that learning is fun. You may have a tendency to be a know-it-all.

28TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Chordae tendinae Sabian Symbol: Many little birds on the limb of a large tree.

ASPECTS OF MERCURY TRINE SATURN Orb 5°14′ Separating We are cautious, careful, tuned in to details, and rely on common sense at this time.

TRINE URANUS Orb 1°13′ Applying We are mentally alert and aware, and might be experimenting or opening our minds to new ideas. We could be feeling inspired, and our thinking is inventive. Varying our usual routine may be rewarding.

QUINCUNX CHIRON Orb 1°23′ Applying There can be less confidence in our decisions temporarily. Words, or lack of, can hurt right now. There is greater sensitivity to what is being said, choice of words, and syntax.

CONJUNCTION THE NORTH NODE Orb 2°58′ Separating Important contacts can be made with people who share our intellectual interests or who introduce us to new ideas that help us to grow, improve, and expand. Projects prove successful right now, particularly those involving teamwork. Learning, teaching, communicating, and making contact figure strongly now, or we meet with situations that encourage us to improve our skills in these areas.

VENUS

VENUS IN GEMINI You are curious and flirtatious, and enjoy intellectual relationships with exchanges of ideas. Communicating within a relationship is important to you. You can be restless, and sometimes gets bored. You may have many money-making schemes.

21ST DEGREE OF GEMINI Part of Body: Arm muscles Sabian Symbol: A labor demonstration.

ASPECTS OF VENUS TRINE JUPITER Orb 4°56′ Separating You have a talent for putting other people at their ease. Your natural enthusiasm is contagious. Your larger-than-life schemes have a habit of always paying off.

OPPOSITION SATURN Orb 1°08′ Applying You have an inability to trust and show your love for other people. This probably stems from childhood experiences with your parents. You may have felt unworthy of your parents’ love. Alternatively you may have perceived your parents’ as cold and unloving. As an adult you may become involved in relationships with an older person or someone who offers you financial or emotional security. You need to develop your own value system and develop compassion for yourself and other people.

MARS

MARS IN LEO You have a strong need to express your personal creativity. You may display dramatic and confident behaviour, and like to make an impact on your surroundings. You may also be arrogant.

3RD DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right coronary artery Sabian Symbol: A woman having her hair bobbed.

ASPECTS OF MARS SQUARE URANUS Orb 3°33′ Separating The desire to assert independence and to dominate can be strong. Impulsiveness can be a problem. We can be rebellious and willful, ignoring others’ needs in the process.

TRINE CHIRON Orb 3°23′ Separating There is more courage to face problems. Fighting for the underdog. Physical healing can help inner healing, and vice versa.

JUPITER

JUPITER IN LIBRA You have a strong concern for justice. You are a diplomatic teacher, and express your spiritual values in your relationships.

16TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Renal arteries Sabian Symbol: A boat landing washed away.

ASPECTS OF JUPITER SQUARE PLUTO Orb 1°51′ Applying You will need to learn to have confidence in yourself even when life deals you a few blows. You range from over confident to completely lacking in confidence. The truth lies somewhere in between.

SATURN

SATURN IN SAGITTARIUS Saturn in Sagittarius asks us to take on the responsibility of living according to our personal truths and principles — and to be loyal to these. This is a time for turning a critical eye to those beliefs and principles that don’t accurately reflect our authentic selves. (December 23, 2014, to June 14, 2015, then September 17, 2015, to December 20, 2017)

23RD DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Left trochanter Sabian Symbol: Immigrants entering a new country.

URANUS

URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011, to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019).

29TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Auditory canal Sabian Symbol: A celestial choir singing.

NEPTUNE

NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026)

14TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Right cutaneous veins Sabian Symbol: A lady in fox fur.

PLUTO

PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024).

18TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Ligaments of right knee Sabian Symbol: The union jack flies from a new british destroyer.

Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON

CHIRON IN PISCES

Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019).

29TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Toenails of right foot Sabian Symbol: A prism.

VESTA IN VIRGO You have a perfectionist streak. You work hard and expect the same from other people. You need to avoid being overly critical. Positively, you have the ability to set up efficient and productive routines at work.

3RD DEGREE OF VIRGO Part of Body: Appendix, caecum Sabian Symbol: Two angels bringing protection.

PALLAS

PALLAS IN TAURUS You have the ability to see the beauty in nature and the arts. You have much common sense and wisdom. You may become involved in either healing with your hands, or healing the earth through environmental movements.

8TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical nerves Sabian Symbol: A sleigh without snow.

JUNO

JUNO IN CAPRICORN You want a partner who you can respect, and who respects you. You seek long-term commitment and may marry later in life.

7TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Left adductor muscle Sabian Symbol: A veiled prophet of power.

CERES

CERES IN CANCER Your ability to nurture others is closely linked with your own relationship with your mother. If you had a close and loving relationship with your mother then you will enjoy the same with others in your adult life. If not, you may form dependent relationships.

6TH DEGREE OF CANCER Part of Body: Diaphragm Sabian Symbol: Game birds feathering their nests.

THE NORTH NODE

THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world.

25TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Pericardium Sabian Symbol: A large camel crossing the desert.

THE SOUTH NODE

THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world.

25TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Left tibialis anterior muscle Sabian Symbol: A butterfly with the right wing more perfectly formed.

*** CONJUNCTIONS TO SELECT FIXED STARS ***

Transits Jul 23, 2017 – Event Chart

Aspects to Ven 20°Ge52 +21°09′ Cnj 21°Ge11 BELLATRIX ** Success through the Shadow.

Aspects to Sat 22°Sg00 -21°55′ Cnj 22°Sg41 RAS ALHAGUE The desire to heal a wound.

Aspects to Plu 17°Cp47 -21°31′ Cnj 16°Cp53 RUKBAT Steadiness and strength.

Aspects to Chi 28°Pi38 +03°06′ Cnj 29°Pi37 SCHEAT To be a thinker or intellect

Aspects to Pal 07°Ta15 -00°16′ Cnj 07°Ta54 HAMAL To follow one’s own path Cnj 08°Ta01 SCHEDIR The Queen, female power.



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