#it turns out to be executive dysfunction

[casual-eumetazoa]

First day of taking my ADHD meds twice a day instead of once (by splitting the dose in two) - surprise surprise, I am actually capable of doing things (and focusing on them) past four in the afternoon! Now let's see if I will still be able to fall asleep when I need to.

[skywalker42]

What people think ADHD is:

So I went to my room to grab sticky notes to leave my roommate a reminder on the dryer but then I saw my week old mug on my nightstand so I went to put it away and then when I was in the kitchen I realized there's no room for it in the cabinet and now I'm measuring the wall for shelving units.

Which, yeah, it is that. It's definitely that. But it's also this series of texts I sent to my friend this morning:

[biblicalhorror]

Was not expecting to cry over Dang Litefoot absolutely thriving in his James Bond persona because people around him for once actually trust him and don't automatically treat him like a shithead

[ibetittering]

Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh

[crimeronan]

by far the most vexing part of regular exercise is the need to shower regularly. my standard of personal hygiene is such that i shower when it becomes too uncomfortable to sleep, which i'm sure everyone thinks is gross but like. i do what i gotta do. during my worst autoimmune flares i could go like ten days between showers bc i couldn't stop sleeping & absolutely could not spend energy on Cleaning My Body. nowadays if i exclusively lay in bed, i can go 2-3 days between showers (when it isn't hot) before i feel Yucky. but if i exercise?? fuck me. ya bitch has to get in the wet box every goddamn day. i go out and shamble my crippled ass over a few miles, wandering wherever my ADHD whims take me, and then i have to save enough energy for showering because there's this WHOLE OTHER TASK that i have to do now before i can sleep. otherwise i will be uncomfortably aware of The Sludge and The Slime and The Skin and lay awake for hours. i am TIRED of washing my hair and scrubbing off grime. Let Me Exercise Without Getting Gross!!!

[helmetkeeper]

wild how i'll do a good handful of stuff and then my brain goes "lol no you're done now" HAHAHAH. so sorry to the lovely animals in my inbox, i'm busy using torture devices on my brain /joke.

anyways hiiii lol to anyone who checks this blog i'm not dead i swear ^_^. /silly

[toxooz]

When me being horney for a sec for orc smut and orc boyfriends leads me to a the coolest art and artist i have ever seen and then that leads me to a lovely story that i binge read the whole thing and got super attached to the characters in less than 15 mins .... Legendary stuff ur doing here honestly!❤️❤️ Also you captured anxiety so well i have never seen anything so accurate to it in my life but i relate to abby so hard even thou im nearing my 30's (which in turn also makes relate to olli too) but listen if anything happened to abby im Gonna kill everyone in this room then myself itsg i will be a puddle on the floor 😭 (/j ofc)

GOOHH THANK YOUUUU!!!!

glad u resonate with the whole anxiety part its comforting tbh lmfao it means im doin somethin right and dont worry Abby may have yet to go through Horrible experiences (well *more horrible) BUT HE DOESNT DIE just gets character development HA

[littlepetbee]

so it turns out there was nothing stopping me from emptying the trash can in my room. too bad i won't learn anything from this

[kifu]

Shiny buttered gold. Secret Santa giftieeeeee. I had to speed run the digital part of this one a little bit, and it still ended up taking me an hour for that.

[ardenwritesegos]

Calm

Having a boyfriend with hypnotism powers comes with some fears. There’s always the worry of getting put under against your will. The worry that, in an instant, you will have control over yourself taken away. But when you trust someone enough, maybe that worry can go away.

It was your average 1am in the Iplier residence. This meant that Murdock was awake, sipping on a mug of tea, taking in the silence of nearly everyone else being asleep. At least he was, until Eric came knocking. He knew it was Eric from the five, soft, quick taps on the door. He was typically asleep at this hour. If Eric was awake and coming to Murdock, something had to be wrong.

Murdock softly opened the door, finding a sobbing, heaving mess behind it.

It was bad, really bad this time.

“What’s the matter?” The murderer was just going to cut to the chase. Asking if he was okay was pointless in this situation. He already knew the answer.

“I…” Eric blubbered, barely able to get words out. He took a small breath before continuing.

“I had another nightmare,” this was a common occurrence when it came to Eric. With a dad as overall horrible as Derek, you couldn’t really leave that without some trauma. For Eric, that trauma came with intense, realistic nightmares; ones that left him turning to the others for help. It wasn’t usually Murdock, though. Eric didn’t want to accidentally bump into the man without his sunglasses on. Murdock was already self-conscious about accidentally hypnotizing innocents as it was. Eric didn’t want to add to that stress.

Still, at the moment, Murdock was the only one awake. Eric had a feeling he would be awake since he had an idea about his sleep patterns and knew that they weren’t so good. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much of a bother.

“Come in,” Murdock waved his hand, letting Eric in silently. Inside were dark purple walls, with dark wood furniture. In one of those pieces of furniture—the shelves—leaned glass boxes of collectible knives. Next to his bed sat a wheeled tray of tea, including a kettle plugged into an outlet.

“Would you like some Sleepytime tea?” Murdock offered, gesturing to the makeshift tea set.

“It may help calm you down,” the murderer didn’t know much else to do. He wasn’t the comforting sort, at least not usually. He spent his time singing abusers and traffickers to their deaths. That didn’t make for a warm heart, but for Eric, he would try.

Eric nodded his head timidly. Murdock grabbed a mug and poured hot water in. The kettle was already heated up, after all. The killer grabbed his box of nighttime herbal tea and placed a bag of it into the cup.

“You can sit down if you’d like,” Murdock pointed to his bed with a thick, royal purple comforter. Eric gently sat down on the fluffy bed as the murderer handed him his tea and sat next to him on the bed.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Eric shook his head quickly, sniffling his nose. He was shaking, like a child who wondered why his parents hit him. That was close enough to the truth. How could Murdock possibly comfort him like this?

Murdock got a spur of the moment idea, one that Eric probably wouldn’t like.

“I can…” Murdock hesitated, this seeming very manipulative as he was going over it in his head.

“Make you feel better, if you’d like,” Eric blushed, getting the complete wrong idea.

“No, no not like that,” Murdock reassured.

“My powers can calm anyone from anything,” he explained.

“But I’ll only do it if you want me to,” Eric seemed to be thinking it over for a moment.

After what felt like forever, Eric nodded. This was his partner. Why would he hurt him? After all, Murdock did avoid using his powers on everyone else, so using them like this was a big deal; something not to take lightly. He was willing to take a chance.

Murdock took off his sunglasses, eyes closed once they were off.

“On the count of three, I will open my eyes,” the murderer prepared Eric. He knew how much his partner needed preparation. Hell, anyone would need to be prepared for this.

“One…” the killer’s voice went low and deep.

“Two…three,” Murdock’s eyelids slowly went up. In an instant, Eric was captivated by the swirling purple and black in his eyes. It went in the same direction over and over and over again; perfect clockwise motion. He couldn’t think of much else, his nightmare fading into the background.

“Your body is still,” his voice was soft, warm…Eric wanted to wrap it around him like a blanket. Eric’s body all at once stopped shaking.

“Your mind is quiet,” all remaining worries faded away like they never existed. Eric was being made numb, but it wasn’t a cold, empty numbness. It was one full of care and love. He wasn’t a toy, he wasn’t a puppet. The spiral held his soul gently in its hands. Nothing could hurt him, he was safe and sound.

Safe and sound…

Safe…

Sound…

No other sounds, but him and—

His still body contradicted with his pulsing heart.

“Your breaths are even, your heart is steady,” All at once, the oversight was corrected. Eric found himself taking deep, comforting breaths. With each one, his pulse became steadier, less consuming. He was completely sheltered, wrapped in an embrace he never wanted to leave.

“You are tired,” Murdock’s words became gradually slower.

“It’s late…you need rest,” the murderer’s voice went as low as it could go.

He was right. Eric was having trouble keeping his eyes open, eyelids drifting down…down…down…

“When you hear a snap, you will fall asleep,” the guiding voice was nearly a whisper.

“It will be deep and dreamless,” what a relief.

Deep…

Dreamless…

He could finally be at peace.

He waited patiently for the echoing crack that would announce his rest. It felt like an eternity; a blissful, serene eternity, until—

The snapping of fingers next to his right ear. He could almost hear it echo before he fell on his back and his vision went black.

There he was.

Eric Derekson, laying on the end of Murdock’s bed like a puppy, calmer than he’d ever been in his existence. The killer’s mouth curved upwards. They wouldn’t make a habit of it. Murdock knew, after all, how it could become an addiction. He would reserve it for emergencies such as these.

For now, Murdock had two cups of tea to finish.

[razzleberry-lemonade]

*queue material girl by madonna*

unfiltered version and ref below

unfiltered version

refs

[habitual-creatures]

ATTEMPTING TO GET BACK IN THE PATTERN OF WRITING POETRY.

ENJOY...

[ REGARDS, HABIT ]

HUNGER // SIN

THERE IS NOTHING LESS THAN NEED,

OF FLESH UPON THE TEETH.

I WATCHED HER BLEED,

TORE HER THROUGH, AND SAW BONE UNDERNEATH.

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

WASN'T SHE GRAND?

HE CALLED IT UNSUITABLE,

HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

IT MADE HIM SICK.

BUT IN TRUTH,

IT MADE ME TICK;

HOW BLOOD RAN DOWN, LIKE SMOOTH VERMOUTH

AS HE THINKS OF HER,

HUNGER RISES AGAIN.

AND THERE LIES NO WAY TO DETER,

FROM THE TRUE FOLLIES OF MEN.

LEFT DRUNK ON THE HIGH,

WITH THE FADED MEMORY OF TASTE.

AS IT LEAVES WITH A DESPERATE CRY,

I AM YET DRAWN TO YOUR DISGRACE.

INVITE ME IN,

PRAY I AM NOT STARVED.

MY TONGUE IS SWEET AS BITTER SIN,

AND ALL OF HUMANITY HAS MY REGARDS.

[prophetmutual]

Fighting tooth and nail not to just give up on the entire process of getting medicated for adhd tbh

[isilienelenihin]

I forgot to hit "confirm" when I made my grocery pickup order and now it's not going to be ready for another 4 hours and y'all know I am FIGHTING the urge to just scroll through Tumblr for that whole time because picking up groceries was item #3 on my list of things to do for the day and skipping items is ILLEGAL.

[vstheworld]

just got asked to host a spirit board session at my partner’s pizza parlor on Halloween and like

I’m the worst witch, I ain’t done a ritual in a year at least I don’t observe any sabbats anymore because I never even know what day of the week it is

anyways do you think the ghosts will be mad at me

[dykeyuu]

i spent 7 hours studying for one subject today no problem and even had fun doing it + im trying to imagine what middle/high school would’ve been like if i’d been properly medicated