#it turned inside out and then exploded
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Uh oh there is a bee on my dashboard, look out!
With all the shit I have been going through with my life exploding so enormously, one of my friends saw fit to send me what they specifically call on the gift note an āemotional support beeā.
Iām taking it as a sign that things somehow could possibly come to
Yāknow
Bee okay
Bonus pic for the exquisite Just Some Guy energy
#bee#bee tw#tw bee#emotional support bee#does it need a name?#life in the duchy#experience the emptiness with me#it turned inside out and then exploded#the only way out is through#Minecraft#Minecraft bee#plushie#bee plushie#hashtag zoo
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gae bolg was made of the bones of curruid -> cu alter wears curruid's bones as armor and his tail is included in that -> we know the tail is permanent because he keeps that in alt outfits where he takes off all the other spikes -> there is no conceptual difference between heroic spirits and their noble phantasms -> curruid's bones are cu chulain's bones -> cu chulainn is not actually a hound he's a sea monster
#anyway i love cuchulainn#-> the warp spasm is described as basically his body exploding because he's depressurised#he's turning inside out cuz he needs to exo his skeleton#hound of the irish
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blue lock men get a little too excited and creative and also serious if you ask them the silly question "would you still love me if i was a worm?" btw
#bachira and isagi are soo sweet and silly with you about it like they get technical about what they'd do and the sanctuary n everything#karasu does too and hes more nerdy about it#its SOOO cute and precious ;-; oliver is so kdjsrhsjdfhfjd about it i don't wanna say >_>#gagamaru says '0_0 i wanna be a worm with you too........'#rin is frustrated like crazy imagining you as a worm its so weirdly cute to him he wants to eat you. but doesn't and says 'stupid question'#but he doesn't say no lol#sae does the same thing but he says yes after. bc it would make u happy ;-; very nonchalant tho (also has crazy cuteness aggression inside)#barou looks at you cringing but then he takes the scenario seriously like oh my god what if you turn into a worm OH MY GOD THE ECOSYSTEM#WILL GET MY BABY!! then taking the idea wayyy too seriously lmao his heart wants to explode because he would protect the FUCK out of you#like he starts tweaking and giving you many plans he has to keep you safe its precious and so funny lol#shidou surprises you when he starts talking about how he'd also build you a little ecosystem to thrive in and how he wants to be a worm too#so he could have a fulfilling worm life with you and you can have crazy worm sex and just. live your worm life you get once#gets deep and wicked ig KJFDJHKFJK#and reo says ofc and talks about buying you a luxurious ecosystem LMFASFHJ#sora.txt
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my cds (and cassette tape) finally arrived in the mail today!!
#I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS#was getting 10 cds and a cassette tape at once maybe a bit overkill? possibly#but i saw the bogo free sale banner and my brain lept at the chance to get more cds for half the price lol#i feel like my collection might be growing a bit too fast esp considering i only started collecting them this fall#but also I HAVE A WHOLE PILE OF CDS NOW LOOK AT IT THERE'S SO MANY AND THEY'RE MY FAVORITE ALBUMS TOO#it's like seeing blorbo from your music in real life in your home#just looking at a cd and being like !!! i literally listen to you every day i didn't know you were also Real#the difference between having something only on your phone even if you still see/listen to it a lot and having a Physical Thing is massive#just. i haven't even opened these up yet they look so pretty im just staring at them in awe while typing this rn#ykw 10 cds is a lot to unbox all at once and if they have extra stuff on the inside too i don't think I'd be able to fully appreciate it#i think im gonna save some of the unwrapping for later as a lil treat maybe for when im having a bad day#so i can come home and unwrap it and look inside and get that serotonin boost#just a lil something i can look forward to in the future :3#they said money can't buy happiness but it turns out i just did and my happiness comes in the form of physical media lol#and ykw i think this is a pretty sweet deal like if i had to choose any hobby to spend money on this would be a great choice#it's cheap you get to support your favorite musicians and you get infinite dopamine out of it (well as long as the cd lasts ig)#just. im still looking at them i cant believe the pictures and sounds from my phone are Real and i can touch them now#...it's probably gonna take a while for me to get over the awe and actually open them up and start looking inside for goodies and stuff#ive been meaning to take pictures of the cool stuff from the precious cds that i got but i still haven't gotten around to it lol#just. the emotions are too big. even just looking at it brings me so much joy that if i opened it up to find more stuff inside#it'd be too much for my brain to handle and it would just explode or something lol#anyway i think that wall of text is long enough so im gonna go admire my cds some more now#mine#cd#cds#cassette tape#music#reminder#for later#<- and that is so i actually remember to open them up and look inside instead of just admiring it like a painting
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ALL I WANTED WAS YOOOOOOOOUUUUOUOUOUUOUU
#i personally would like. scream so hard i turn inside out if i got the āmusical with a heartā one im not even kidding#daisy yip yaps#if i ever get one i will explode you will have to mop me off of the floor and walls and sew me back together
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My neurodivergencies and mental illnesses overlap so much that you could diagnose me with about anything at this point
#ocd and autism put together? must tap on things. must tap in specific rythm. or die. my whole life#adhd and autism? oh i cant focus but when i do that's all ill focus on for months or years#i can't pay attention but i have a photographic memory! so that didn't affect me much in school#also w the ocd and autism i constantly have to be picking at my skin in some way#whether it be dandruff my lips scabs or just chewing on the inside of my cheeks#like i can never stop no matter what#oh and another great thing about ocd and autism put together is that you get EcholaliaĀ²#this thing is going to repeat in the background of your head for months#and also you must sometimes say/sing it out loud randomly or you will explode#i was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and BPD also#manic and depressive episodes? turned out that was literally just dependent on my pain med prescription#rapid cycling emotions can come from all of those#i also have psychosis episodes and delusions! and hallucinations! wee!#oh and let's put a littlr sprinkle of C-PTSD on top of everything. just for fun#''anxiety disorder'' that was me freaking out about masking and how everyone would judge me#major depressive disorder? yeahhhh there's always that base level of despair#like I'm pretty sure the ocd adhd and autism are like one Whole Thing together#i hear the symptoms of all of those and im like yeah that's me! that's also me! shit! that's also me!#WHY IS THERE SO MUCH WRONGGGG#.bdo
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people who are extremely emotionally repressed and incapable of expressing their feelings are most of the time only capable of feeling and expressing anger, irritation and bitterness. and they HATE seeing people who openly express all of their feelings and emotions, and are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the complexity of emotions. they absolutely hate them and it evokes such irritation and anger within them, because even if they dont understand it themselves, they are envious of ppl who dont take emotions so seriously or see it is being weak.
#i think a lot of times people get angry with me for openly being able to express my thoughts and feelings#they dont understand that when i vent about something it allows me to release the pain and severity of it a little bit#while they walk around holding that anger that turns into poison and hurts them everyday#somehow it is my fault for not being ashamed and feeling like i have to hide my#thought and feelings deep inside#the way they do.#and that for me feelings and thoughts arent written in stone#it doesnt scare me to face my dark and unsavory thoughts#they arent all i am#but somehow they get angry seeing someone dare to express everything#but its totally ok for them to fixate their anger on a total stranger that doesnt even care to take their existence into consideration while#expressing their feelings and thoughts ie they arent even abt them#idk i just cannot for the life of my understand that mindset#if you see someone vent about their experiences and thoughts and feelings#and get so angry you feel like punishing them or harrassing them#there is like something deeply wrong with u emotionally#it is just so frustrating to have to be bothered by those ppl so often#because i will NEVER shut up#i will never cower. i believe in total freedom of expressing things#even if i have to be burdened and bothered by stupid ppl trying to sew my lips shut and cut my tongue out i'll never stop#it isnt my responsibility that they cannot cope with someone just saying shit#it's just sad that this will def ensure that i'll keep have my accounts shut down on any platform š#bc we dont live in a society where freedom of speech is a thing#and it will also make me very very very lonely bc not many ppl can handle someone who speaks openly#(plus im not a degenerate which many loud ppl are so i cant fit it w thm sadly)#but i've trid to keep it all inside and nod and smile but that just makes me....#have very very many homooo... ;))) cidal thoughts haha#cant live like that i'll explode#at least im glad i have my mom tbh#like very glad. she understands almost everything i say. im more extreme than her but she gets many things i say that others wouldnt
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Crazy
#p#this is gonna be so lame in the actual short but wdym he split in half turned inside out and exploded ššššn#and snake ??????? dude#i wanna draw the image this put in my brain but idk if i have the skill. but what the hell LMAO
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curling up into a miserable ball because i dont understand how hugs work. but i want them.
#neither here nor there#i dont understand how people work i dont understand how friendship is supposed to work#im tired and im scared and a lot of things are or shortly will be exploding (going wrong)#but. we shall carry on.#turn myself inside out and outside in so skin touches skin in a mockery of a hug. wait hang on thats a banger line
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Serot's own arsenal of spells and generally how he applies necrotic magic differs from modern day Anactaci. You can clearly see the foundation he laid, but it has been over a thousand years. The order has evolved considerably in that time. There's also the fact that he was reborn at level one and has structured his skills to suit his present needs, but [hand waves]
There are different sects and roles within the Anactaci who call on the Plane of Death in different ways, but certain generalities can be relied upon. Their magic is largely geared toward what would be considered divination. They are the bridge between this life and the next, the messengers of eternity. They commune both with the souls of the dead and with spirits ā chiefly spirits / entities on the Plane of Death but spirits of all types, including those like Refhremmit. Indeed, every City of Eternity has one Anactaci dedicated to communing with their patron. It is a sacred office.
Beyond that, their magic is deeply focused on the soul and the threshold between life and death. They are adept at identifying and countering curses or maladies of the soul. They are adept at identifying and addressing possessions or spiritual attachments. The skilled can manipulate the ravages of time on a body or object (a skill shared with the Manthu). The most skilled of all can leave their bodies behind to inhabit ritually prepared objects; these become the teachers of the Anactaci and keepers of the deepest mysteries.
Yes of course, they animate and preserve corpses, either directly or by calling a spirit to inhabit it. This is part of Meketi funerary rites. But, simply making dead things move is only part of their skillset. Indeed, it's the most basic part.
Anactaci are bound by sacred oaths to turn their magic to holy purpose and with a thought for balance always. However, a truly irate or unscrupulous Anactaci could do serious damage. Particularly if they are skilled. Insidious curses and nigh-undetectable possessions (i.e. slowly driving a person to madness with ill luck or nightmares; far worse curses are possible). Yanking a person's soul directly from their body, either holding it captive or causing it to become lost. Learning secrets from spirits or from souls that can utterly destroy a person. Causing them to rapidly age, turning to sun-bleached bone before their eyes, one limb at a time. Or causing them to wither, then return to their correct age, then wither, then return to their correct age ā over and over until they don't know whether they're alive or dead. If capable of severing their soul from their body, they can possess others directly, influencing or totally overriding their will. They might not touch a person at all; they might sap all life from their home instead.
Fortunately, such corrupt Anactaci are rare ā and swiftly dealt with.
#META / HC: WORLDBUILDING.#RE: ANACTACI#this isn't a polished meta#but I'm reading about Chosen so obvs magical abilities are on my mind#Serot's rain of blood and animate blood he learned as a ghul lord have the fucking pizzazz#but modern Anactaci are frightening in ways you don't think to fear til it's too late#or rather they have the potential to be if they forsake their oaths#which has consequences. Anactaci and Manthu both are literally bound by their oaths. those tattoos aren't merely aesthetic#but that's a discussion for another time#Serot getting angry enough to yank someone's soul directly out of their body tho . . .#he would have to be beyond incensed for that#and would feel absolutely disgusted with himself afterward. like might vomit type of disgusted#still. if Serot wasn't a moral man. he could be horrifying#he could make your blood boil you alive from the inside#he could make your own body turn against you while you're trapped inside helpless#he could keep your soul in a jar while he puppets your body#and allows you to learn whether the incorporeal can feel torment#he could call the Plane of Death into your very soul and watch it consume all life within you#and leave your body to infect anyone else nearby with the same fate#he could banish part of you to the Plane of Death so that the part of you on the Material Plane experiences that torment without reprieve#and must live from then on missing something with a searing ache that was swallowed by death itself#or he could banish you there just briefly and pull you back before you exploded. dangling you just above death like a pot of boiling oil#he could call down plagues. he could raise droves of undead their ranks replenished by their victims#he could drain life from the very earth itself#he WON'T but he COULD#well also it's gonna take time to get back to the power level he was at before dying in his first life#and frankly he doesn't want to be back at the level if he doesn't have to be#but y'know. first life. if he'd been a cruel man.
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Sometimes cooking in a 90 degree car is good for the soul (itās not) (Iām just trying to save gas bc I wanted to sit in my car instead of the library)
#I wouldāve just stayed inside#but I was scared that I lost my headphones so I had to go out to my car and check#good news: they were in my car!#bad news: got a bad grade in ERP š#<- joking. Iām not in therapy ššššššš¤#SOON.#okay āIāve been saying āsoonā for like 4 years#but fr#I was putting off scheduling a psych appointment until after all my breast ultrasound stuff was done#and now itās been like a month or two and I have just totally forgotten about it#until last night when my mom reminded me š#I guess I should schedule an appointment tomorrowļæ½ļæ½ bleh. I hate phone calls I will explode and die#but itās worth it ig#Iām so nervous ahhh#okay SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE#itās almost time for me to go anyway so I can turn the car on now. yay. sweet sweet AC#ellyposting
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maybe i will try to watch heart stopper again.
#i keep seeing GIFS and CLIPS and they are CUTE and making me GIGGLE AND KICK MY FEET IN THE AIR#but every time i see something longer than like 3 minutes i start turning inside out and writhing on the floor like a salted slug#im like if someone doesnt end up covered in blood in the next five seconds im exploding
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I love aokiji from one piece. Hes my little swimbly bimbly
#i like him a lot. i love how one piece gets a lot of morally gray antagonists#like. aokiji is kind of a really good guy in certain moments.#like he cares a lot about civillians . he just works inside of a really shitty system . hes like the idea of a āgoodā cop#who like joined the marines with the intent of helping people but he does more harm than good .#i think it makes a lot of sense for him to have quit after the time skip. i know hes rolling with the blackbeard pirates now though#which is weird to me. bc that doesnt seem to suit his ideals. i think heāll turn out to be undercover or some shit or a sword operative#im excited to learn more abt sword bc its apparently really important in the manga rn#but im not caught up so itās just like. a vague thing i know now#*thinks about robin backstory* dereshishishishishiā¦..#also it makes me so mad how oda does so many of his black characters bc. aokiji is right there. you know how to draw black people#give that same treatment to usopp!!! or blackbeard. its lame. it sucks#related. hes a minor antagonist but i wish they did more with mr 5. hes another black character with a good design (at least in the manga)#the anime kind of connects the corners of his lips and makes them look bad but in the manga its natural yet still cartoony#he has such an underutilized devil fruit too T_T he can basically explode any part of his body.#and its usually used in the form of flicking exploding boogers at people (funny) but i was expecting him to get a cool moment where he just#fuckin. BOXES someone with explosions and some cool kicks. sadly we never get that though
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*sits up in bed* what if. Jadus' full concealing armor is a limiter.
#ooc#swtor#imagine he takes his mask off and you think you're gonna see his face but suddenly the room explodes into the most painful thing#you've ever experienced through the force#your senses burst into a nebulous bundle of nerves#you're bleeding out your ears. you try to focus on his face to catch a glimpse but your eyes are leaking and it's a chaotic slurry that#is even *less* visible than him with the mask *on*#a writhing mass. a black hole of energy. like the universe turning itself inside out#you faint from the pressure like an airless vacuum#yeah. yeah I have thoughts about his presence and how it drives people mad/in pain but if he really likes non force users would he do that#on purpose. what if that's him being restrained#darth jadus#admin stop writing him as a cataclysmic event challenge failed
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Are you not bored. Are you not bored. Are you not bored. Are you not BORED
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anybody else have like a category 5 allergy attack approximately every 2 months? i used to think this was relatively common bc it happened to my dad before he got allergy shots but maybe itās just my accursed bloodline
#by cat 5 i MEAN cat 5 itās not sniffles itās 6-12 hours of my sinuses exploding#impossible to concentrate on anything because my face is trying to turn inside out#entire box of tissues level event#and nothing short of a benadryl shot puts a dent in it#d#triggers unclear. the landlord mowed the lawn today but then again theyāve mowed other times and i didnāt Explode
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