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krirebr · 4 months

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More Than This 6

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader

Word Count: ~3.4k

Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.

Warnings: Heavy angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, the threat of Linda, explicit language, panic & anxiety, my own rampant abuse of italics, the slooowest burn - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Well. Here we go. Things are coming to a head now.

Permanent thanks, as always, to @paperweight91 who lets me talk her ear off about this and always has the best input.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!

As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

You sat on the closed toilet seat in Ransom’s ensuite, your knees pulled up to your chest, as you watched the seconds on the timer tick by, Linda’s gift bag sitting right beside the under-the-sink cabinet you’d pulled it out of. This time would be different, you told yourself. It wouldn’t be the same result as the last three tests you took. It couldn’t. It couldn’t.

Your phone buzzed and you turned the timer off as you closed your eyes tight. Please please please, you chanted to yourself. After forcing yourself to breathe, you opened your eyes and picked up the test off the counter. Pregnant said the easy-read display. Just like the others. Shit.

This was what you wanted. You knew that. But– But you were stupid. You were so fucking stupid. You were so focused on getting pregnant that you’d forced yourself to forget about what would come when you actually were – a baby. You and Ransom were going to have a baby. You were fully trapped now. Completely fucked. This had cemented the rest of your life, no way out.

And the same for this poor baby you carried inside of you. A childhood just like yours. The same future too. You cradled your stomach even knowing there was barely anything there yet.

You wandered into the hall. You wondered where you would even put a baby as you looked across at the home gym you'd never seen Ransom use. His study. The storage rooms. You tried to imagine a little kid running around in this house. You couldn’t. You couldn’t picture a single moment of your future beyond this day. It terrified you.

The rest of the day passed in a haze before Ransom came home at his usual time. You froze at the sight of him, just staring as he bent down to pat Lola and tell her hello as she yipped excitedly at him. He turned to you and his brow furrowed. Oh god. Could he tell? Could he see it on you? You opened your mouth to tell him. You had to tell him. But no words came out. After gaping at him for who knows how long, while his brow just got more and more furrowed, you asked “Are you hungry?” and moved into the kitchen without waiting for a response. You had no idea how he’d react.

Would he be happy you’d finally fulfilled your purpose? Angry because he’d never wanted a kid to begin with? Or maybe he did want a kid, he just didn’t want one with you? Maybe that didn’t matter. Maybe you didn’t even factor into this equation. Maybe the kid would be good enough on it’s own. That might be the best outcome you could hope for. That thought terrified you just as much as the others.

You pulled two of the premade meals out of the fridge. You hadn’t tried to make dinner again since your disastrous first attempt. You thought of your kid. Eating the housekeeper’s meals, being taken care of by a nanny, driven around by a chauffeur, while you just faded away into the background.

Ransom calling your name brought you back to the present. He was just on the other side of the kitchen island from you now. “Are you okay?” he asked, and you couldn’t tell if it was concern or annoyance in his tone.

Tell him tell him tell him. You had to. You knew you had to. But. You couldn’t right now. It wasn’t the right time. You’d come up with a plan. The right way to do it. That’s what you needed. You forced a benign smile. “I’m fine,” you said.

Something passed over his features. Frustration, maybe. But what did he have to be frustrated by? You were doing what he wanted. Making yourself as small as possible, doing everything you could not to intrude on his life.

He just stared at you as you plated a meal for him and put it in the microwave. He looked at you as if there was something to decode. The more he stared, the more afraid you became that he’d be able to ferret out your secret. Not yet. Please not yet. It wasn’t the right time. “Actually,” you said, as you took his dinner out of the microwave and replaced it with your own, “I’m not feeling great. I think I’m just going to take this upstairs with me and maybe read until I fall asleep. Don’t bother waking me if I’m sleeping when you come up. Think I just need to sleep off whatever this is.” You were babbling. You knew it. You needed to get out of this room.

“Are you ok?” He asked. “Do you need anything?”

“No, no,” You said, taking your plate out as soon as the microwave beeped, not bothering to check if it was truly done. “I’m fine. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix, I’m sure. Goodnight.” Then you fled upstairs, not looking back.

You spent the next day trying to pretend like everything was normal. You read one of Harlan’s books, you took Lola for a long walk, you hid from Carol. Everything was fine.

Late in the afternoon, you got a text from Ransom.

How are you feeling?

You stared at it, confused. He didn’t know. He couldn’t. You hadn’t told him. What was– Oh! Last night you’d told him you were sick. Right.

I’m feeling much better. Thank you.

A few minutes later your phone dinged again.

Ok. My parents want to take us to dinner. I’ll be home around 6 and we’ll go right to the restaurant.

You looked at the time. That was less than two hours from now. Less than two hours to get ready for Linda. That– that was not enough time. You tried to push down the panic building in your chest. This was fine. You’d just start getting ready now. It was fine.

You went into Ransom’s bathroom and started doing your makeup. It was fine. Your hand only shook a little.

When that was done, you went into the closet. All you had to do was pick an outfit. You could do that.

But as you rifled through the closet, the panic you’d tried so hard to shove deep down came back. Not only that, it grew. You didn’t know how you were supposed to pick something to wear when you didn’t know what Linda wanted. But if you didn’t get it right, she would look at you and she would say something. And she would hate you even more. But every time you thought you might have found something that would please her, you became overcome with worry over what Richard might think – if it showed too much chest, or too much leg, or too much neck or maybe it highlighted your ass and he would take it as an invitation. It was too much. You sank down to the floor, surrounded by all the clothes you’d pulled off hangers. You were paralyzed. There was no option that wouldn’t get you in trouble, wouldn’t cause problems.

You didn’t even realize Ransom was home until he was in the closet too, standing over you, with an impatient scowl on his face. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why aren’t you ready? We have to go! Linda’s gonna lose her shit if we’re late for the reservation. Get up and get fucking dressed already.”

You looked up at him, at the way he was glaring at you, and suddenly you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. None of it. Not a single thing.

“Then tell me what to wear!” you yelled, and Ransom took a step back, surprised. “Because none of this is going to be good enough! Not for your mom, who hates me. Or your dad who looks at me, and– and– And you! I have no fucking idea what you want. I can’t figure it out! But I’m here. I have to be here. And I have to do what you want, but I don’t know what that is because you won’t tell me! I only know what you don’t want. You don’t want me to cook and you don’t want to fuck me and you don’t want me to work! And I really don’t understand that one because you told me I could but then you sicced your mother on me–”

“Wait, what?” Ransome tried to interrupt. “What did–”

You barely even noticed he’d said anything, too much on a roll now to even think about stopping. “And you don’t want me to leave! You keep me locked up here, stranded and I think I’m starting to lose my mind. I don’t– I don’t have anything to do or anyone to talk to! Steve is too busy for me and that’s probably good because your mom is sure we’re fucking, so I probably shouldn’t talk to him anymore anyway. But I miss him. He’s the only one who cares about me. I’m so alone. And even Lola loves you now. I don’t have anyone or anything! And I know, I know I’m supposed to make you happy. I know that’s what I’m for now, but I don’t know how! You don’t want me. You don’t want me here but you won’t let me leave. And now I’m pregnant! And I’m stuck. This is just my life now, the way it’ll always be and I–”

A hand on your wrist shocked you back into the room, into the present, where Ransom was crouching down in front of you, eyes wide. “You’re pregnant?” he breathed.

You froze. Oh god, had you said that? You didn’t really remember. You barely remembered anything you’d just said. It’d all come tumbling out of you without much conscious thought. But as he stared at you, you knew that you must have. You locked eyes with him for what might have been just a moment or an entire age. And then suddenly, this, fucking everything, was too much for you and you bolted.

Up and out of the closet, out of the bedroom, and into the hall. You looked around wildly. You didn’t have anywhere to go. You heard Ransom start to move, so you ducked through the nearest doorway, into his gym, slamming the door and locking it behind you. You paced around the room, wringing your hands. What the fuck had you done? Why had you said all that? You were just so tired. You’d been so tired since that day in Joseph’s office. You just couldn’t muster the energy to keep everything inside anymore.

A knock came at the door and you froze. Ransom called your name gently, but you couldn’t say anything. He called it again, a little louder, but you still kept quiet. The doorknob rattled as he tried to get in. You backed up, still feeling the urge to run but there was nowhere to go. Your back hit the far wall and you slid down it.

“I just–” he started through the door, “you don’t have to talk to me. I just– I just need to know that you’re ok.” It was his tone that surprised you more than his words. He sounded– you weren’t sure how he sounded, honestly. Wrecked, maybe, if that wasn’t so fucking ridiculous. “Can you at least tell me you aren’t having a panic attack? I’m–” You swore you could hear him grinding his teeth. “I’m worried.”

You gaped at the door for a moment, then forced out, “I’m not having a panic attack,” just loud enough to travel through the wood.

“You’re sure? Your breathing’s normal?”

“Yeah,” you said, hunched over by the wall now.

You heard him let out a deep breath. “Ok, good, that’s good. Uh, will you please come out? I’d really like to talk to you.”

You were shaking your head before he finished speaking, your stomach clenching in fear. You couldn’t face him. Not yet. Not ever, a voice inside you whispered. That wouldn’t be possible, you knew. But you’d hold off as long as you possibly could. “No,” you finally said out loud, your voice unsteady.

There was just silence at first. It stretched on. Then, finally, you heard him move away from the door and down the stairs. You took a slow, deep breath. Then another and another. You stood up and started moving again. Around and around the room. You were so relieved he was gone but you were terrified of where he might be going, what he might be doing. How he might feel. How angry was he? And was he just upset about the outburst or was he mad about the baby? He’d never been an enthusiastic participant in the making of it, just doing what he had to. This baby wasn’t his choice, it’d been pushed on him, just like you were pushed on him. Of course he resented you. And he’d resent your child, your family. A whole life he never wanted.

You cradled your stomach as you crumpled down to the floor. This poor baby. Parents who barely spoke, a mother who was only ever sad. Tears slid down your cheeks. History just kept repeating. Over and over again. There’d never been anything you could do to stop it.

Your pathetic spiral was interrupted by a scratching at the door. Then a huff and then whimpers. Lola. You started to get up, move towards the door, but then you stopped. Opening that door felt insurmountable. Like it would destroy any small modicum of safety you currently felt. Like everything outside, everything you were scared of would come crashing in. You couldn’t do it. Even for Lola, you couldn’t do it.

You heard footsteps on the stairs again and you pushed yourself into the wall. You heard him stop in front of the door and then say, so softly you could barely hear it, “Hey, Lola, she just needs some time alone right now. It’ll be okay. Come on, let’s go downstairs.” Then there was more movement – was he picking her up? – and footsteps on the stairs again.

You couldn’t explain why that made you so angry, but– He hated dogs! He’d told you! And now he was comforting Lola? Gently picking her up? Taking her from you? He didn’t make any sense. He’d constantly say one thing then do the opposite. The only consistent thing about him seemed to be that he didn’t want you, didn’t like you, didn’t need you here. Maybe once the baby was born, he’d send you both away. Maybe that’d be a good thing. Maybe that was the best you could hope for.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before there was a soft knock on the door. Ransom’s voice came through. “Can you let Lola in? She’s freaking out. You can stay in there, I just– She needs you.”

You moved towards the door. “I– She can come in, but I don’t want to talk,” you said.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “you’ve made that clear.”

Then there was more shuffling before you heard him walk away. You just stood there until there was a desperate little scratch at the bottom of the door. You unlocked and opened it quickly, just enough to let her in, then closed and locked it behind her. She immediately jumped on you, torn between her excitement at seeing you and her annoyance that she’d been shut out to begin with.

You picked her up. “I’m so sorry baby,” you whispered. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

You didn’t know if that was true. You held her close as you went back to pacing. What were you doing? You were being childish, probably. Hiding from your problems. It wouldn’t be so bad, maybe, if you weren’t so fucking alone. You got out your phone and without thinking texted Steve

I really hate that you’re so far away.

You stared at it for a few moments but the little checkmark that showed he’d read it never appeared. That was fine. Working still probably. Or at an important dinner or event. He had his own life to lead. You couldn’t expect him to always have time for you.

Another knock on the door. You looked up with a sharp “What?” Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

“Are you planning on coming to bed tonight?” he asked through the door.

“No,” you said, voice much more firm than you felt.

“What?! You’re just gonna sleep on the floor between my weights?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

“Oh my god,” he grumbled. “You can’t sleep on the floor!”

“I’m fine, Ransom,” you growled.

“Fucking ridiculous,” he muttered to himself, but loud enough for you to still hear him, before he stomped down the stairs.

You rolled your eyes and checked your phone. Still no response from Steve. It was fine it was fine.

He came back up, his gait significantly slower and uneven, and dropped something in front of the door, which hit the floor with a muted ‘oomph.’ Then he was stomping down the stairs again. You froze, staring at the door, your curiosity warring with your fear. What the fuck was he doing?

He came back up, adding something to his pile with a faint ‘tink.’ “You can’t fucking sleep on the floor,” he growled, then thundered into his room across the hall and slammed the door.

You counted to thirty before you were brave enough to open the door. Stacked just to the side in the hallway was a collection of cushions and blankets, along with your pillow and Lola’s favorite blanket. Carefully placed on top of all that was one of Carol’s dinners with utensils and a bottle of water. You just blinked at it all for a moment, before lugging everything into the room.

You sat down to eat first. You’d been so stressed and anxious you hadn’t even realized you skipped dinne– Oh fucking shit. Dinner. With Ransom’s parents. Well, if Linda hadn’t hated you already, she certainly did now. You wondered what he’d told her. That you were crazy. Ridiculous. A child. Had he told her you were pregnant? If you’d been able to tell her yourself, under better circumstances, would it make her like you more?

You put the plate aside. You weren’t very hungry.

Next was making space for you to sleep. It took you a while. Neither the stationary bike nor the treadmill would budge. You didn’t even try the rowing machine. So it was just moving his weights out of the way, which you did one by one with both hands, trying to shoo Lola out of the way when she insisted on being underfoot. When you were done, you sat down against the wall for a moment, trying to catch your breath, before arranging all the cushions and blankets into something you’d be able to sleep on.

You looked around. He never fucking used this gym. You were sure it’d be covered in dust if Carol didn’t clean it every week. He had all these rooms you’d never seen him enter, let alone use, while you had absolutely nothing. Well. Fuck that. Fuck him.

You pulled out your phone and hurriedly typed out an email to the manager of your storage unit. Your bedroom furniture was just languishing in LA, while all these rooms went unused. Well, you were done with that. You’d done your job. Your goals were accomplished. You were pregnant. There was no reason to share a room with him anymore. He’d be relieved too, you were sure of it.

As you unfolded all the blankets, you also found your comfiest pair of pajamas. You changed into them, knowing it was just a coincidence, that they must have been the first pair he’d found in your drawer, but you still appreciated it. As odd as it felt to appreciate anything from him, especially now.

You sank down onto the cushions. It was early still, but you were exhausted. You hoped that you might sleep, even though you were terrified of what the next day might bring.

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#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x you #knives out #chris evans fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #arranged marriage au #more than this #kris wrote something

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swiftsdelucaa · 4 months

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Great that you take requests!!! Can you do one with deluca where they are roomates and it's angsty and trying to make each other jealous to admit their feelings and they work together on a case... You decide you are a great writer do whatever comes to mind 🤗

❛ 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Andrew DeLuca x reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I REALLY APOLOGIZE IK THIS TOOK SO LONG SORRY!!! Now that school has finally finished and I'm free I'll come back posting all my requests I promise! Sorry again and thank you so much for this request, hope you like it :)

Today has already been enough stressful, the last thing you needed was facing another unbearable evening, like all the ones you and Andrew spent lately. Sometimes it was stupid shit over stupid little things and other times it was just unspoken tension.

Anyways you found yourself spending the rest of the evening alone since Andrew didn't come back, after dinner you watched some tv shows laying on the couch, waiting for him. It was about some hours later when you heard the door open and turned around to see Andrew walking in.

"Hey" you got up. "Late shift I see" you said looking at him.

"Well the shift didn't end very late, I've been at Joe's" he replied, taking off his jacket.

"Oh... You could have warned me" you did your best to hide the disappointment in your voive.

"I'm an adult, do I need your permission to go outside?" he asked walking past you completely neutral and sitting on the couch. You sighed at his words, when he talked to you like that he hurted you more than he actually could imagine.

"No, I'm just saying that you could have let me know that you wouldn't have come back" you then said. "I also left you something to eat for dinner"

"I'm not hungry, I've already eaten thanks" you walked towards the couch to sit as well, not very close to him.

"Ok. Difficult day?" you then asked looking at him noticing he looked pretty tired.

"Not really, I had worse days" he kept avoiding your gaze as he spoke. "But I met someone, that's why I was late"

"Good" actually it wasn't good. But at least he didn't bring anyone home not letting you sleeping the whole night. "But you know you can talk to me too when you have bad days.." you added as he only looked for comfort in other people lately. Girls.

"I'm not saying anything about all the times you did the same" his tone was really cold while he was pronouncing these words. You rolled your eyes as he was starting to get on your nerves again.

"Andrew, I'm just trying to have a normal conversation, what's wrong with you?" he finally turned around to look at you.

"With me? He raised his eyebrows. "You may not realize it, but you're the one trying to control everything I do, Y/n"

"Oh God" you sighed as you left yourself fall behind against the back of the sofa. It was happening again. And it was harder forcing this everytime with a person that you cared a lot and actually liked so much. "Not today please" you whispered.

"You started it"

"Ok, will it end like this every time we talk to each other?" You got up, standing right in front of him.

"Seems like you want to, you know, no one is forcing you to stay here and talk to me, you can just go and talk to some other guy if it makes you feel better" he got up as well as he said that phrase so easily. "I think Avery would be happy to spend some time with you" you looked at him in silence, the fact he kept talking about this topic annoyed you more, he's been doing the same.

"Oh yeah you what? I will also invite him here if I want to, maybe one of these days for dinner" You said sounding completely confident. Yeah, you were starting to get closer with Jackson, you dated just twice and for you had been amazing spending some good time during this period. Maybe Andrew's behavior pushed you to do it, like him, but it was all so confusing that neither of you would get out of it.

"Fine, I couldn't care less as I'll just spend my time anyone else who isn't my boss"

"Said the one who's been fucking the head of cardio during his whole internship" he let out a chuckle as this wasn't having any effect on him.

"If you wanna talk about the past good, but you should focus on what's going on now" he looked at you this time. "Which is that I would prefer staying with anyone else right now than here listening to you" You knew he had a few drinks and was tired, so you decided to end it before his words would have hit you harder than they already were.

You looked away and went to your room, you could feel his gaze on you as you walked away, but he didn't say anything else to try to stop you. He's always been your favourite person, your safe place, but now it was something you hated and it made you feel so bad.

The next morning you woke up very earlier than usual, you had the morning shift but decide to get up before Andrew and have a walk going to the hospital. You didn't want to see him now and preferred to get some air. The city in the early morning it's something that hits different. After you took some time for yourself you arrived to the hospital and put on your scrubs. Some of your friends noticed that there was something wrong in your mood, but you just denied it and continued to focus on your work, then you found out that you and DeLuca were both assigned on Dr. Robbin's service.

"Amazing" you muttered to yourself in a sarcastic tone before walking in the patient's room where Andrew and Arizona were already waiting. You could feel his eyes on you for almost the whole time, this killed you. Before surgery you and him were alone scrubbing in together, the longest 5 minutes you've ever spent. Sometimes it seemed like he wanted to say something and break that silence, but nothing happened and the desire to disappear when he was around you increased more. You've been studying for this surgery a lot and you wouldn't have let distract yourself by worrying what was going on Andrew's mind everytime he looked at you. At least not now.

Time flew and you made it, luckily both of you stayed professional. You weren't sure if you now were ready to talk to him, but you haven't seen him anywhere after the surgery finished.

When you finally left to go home your attention had been caught by the sound of a horn, you looked up and noticed Andrew's car parked not very far from you. It was evening and you were too tired to walk home, that's why you decided to go to him and got into the car.

"Before you say anything, just caus-" you've been cut off by him kissing you, he grabbed your neck softly, closer to him and pressed his lips on yours in an intense kiss. When he pulled away a little smile lit up your face without you even realizing it.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. "I gave my worst all this time and I've been feeling like shit, you're the best thing that I got and I've just rejected you... really I'm so sorry, it's not true that I would prefer you to leave or spend time with someone else, I would do anything to have you with me" hearing these words made you feel the best ever, you've always felt the same about him. You smiled at him and he couldn't help to do the same. "Even if it's been all so stupid and confusing and well we acted like two babies sometimes.." you both chuckled softly. "I didn't want anything or anyone else, I just want you" his eyes softened and you smiled more.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I've wanted to hear it from you all this time" you approached to kiss him again. "And yeah I want you too" you whispered in the kiss.

"Uh huh, fine, now stop talking" he smiled and kissed you back as intensly as before, his hand through your hair.

Finally all your days and evenings would have been definitely so much better from now.

#andrew deluca #andrew deluca x reader #andrew deluca imagine #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy imagine #my writing #fanfics #y/n #requests #i loved writing this sm help

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fangirlanxiety74 · 2 months

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TELL ME ABOUT TED. Headcanons you have for him, anything... Can be silly or serious.

Someone... SOMEONE'S ASKING ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS?! IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE SOMEONE'S ASKED ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS!! HOLD ON, I MADE A DOCUMENT!! /ref/hj

In actuality, I did genuinely make a google doc. But it's not ready to be shared yet, so I'll share the highlights.

First off, the game manual lies. He is NOT 44. He's 33 at OLDEST. I kind of consider him more like 29/30. Just barely.

He grew up in South Carolina hehe, farm boy

Bisexual disaster but I think this is kinda just obvious.

He is the oldest between him and his 5 siblings!!! And adding onto this, he is SUCH a good older brother. I don't care if everyone else disagrees, he could be the worst man alive but the one good thing someone could say was that he took care of his siblings.

If you know Ayano from Kagerou Project, I think he's a lot like her when he's younger. Like 8/9 years old. He tried so hard to protect them all from their parents and keep them happy. He'd sacrifice so much for them, it's why he kinda,, went into the extreme of being so,, entitled as a grown up. Ykwim???

Just imagine. With the ice caves, moving without thinking to save the others before himself? His brain subconsciously doing what he knows best; sacrificing what he has for others.

Selflessness as a core trait for Ted, please.

Another thing relating to his siblings: He knows how to do ballet!! And he's REALLY good at it. He actually has a lot of fun doing it. One of his sisters wanted to, but she was too afraid to take lessons alone, so he went along with her in secret. Didn't get caught for years. (She stopped lessons once he got forced out of them)

He talks a little like a New-Yorker, or at the very least, that transAtlantic accent (yk like from the old movies?) to try and play off as that kind of guy like Great Gatsby.

His actual accent is Southern. Sometimes it slips out when he's like, extremely flustered/angry, but it's such a rare thing.

He can't stand the sound of someone crying, it immediately makes him angry. Take that, and yk, Ellen or Benny constantly crying... Yeaaaah. (This is also due to his siblings).

This is obvious, he forces himself into doing a lot of masculine things that he doesn't like to appear older/wiser/better, insert whatever word you wanna use that translates to "I am insecure about myself" lol

Okay this last one is really important to me and like. It. Needs its own special paragraph. He is a creative person in his soul. He loves to learn, he loves to write, he loves to read and dance and sing and draw and he has such a huge imagination and love for creativity. You can see it in his psychodrama with how it plays out like a full-blown Grimms Fairytale, the monster he imagined that no one else could see, the line in the radio drama "Am I the last storyteller, telling the last story...?"

He's a storyteller. He has so much to say and share, and he would've done something creative with his life if he had the option, but the abuse he faced and the societal expectations placed on him forced him to,, give it all up. Made him realize he could never have that. Which is why, at least in the game, AM chose him. Ted had so much potential to create, and just... gave it up. For seemingly nothing. Why wouldn't that make AM mad, who can't create, can't even imagine or wonder?

AKA Theatre Kid Ted canon, let it be known

I have like, also. I have a somewhat-AU of Omori for the ihnm cast, and Ted takes the role of Basil. I think Dream Basil vs RW Basil fit a lot of what he is as a kid vs an adult, or at least aspects of both due.

I also have a Hadestown AU of him with my self-insert where he takes the role of Eurydiceeee.... Like. Guys, Hadestown fans, hear me out. Ted singing "Flowers." AM singing "Hey Little Songbird" to Ted. PLEASE HEAR ME CAN YOU HEAR ME??? ARE YOU LISTENING??? /J

There's so much more I can say but this is getting so long I will definitely share more if people want nfjkdc bUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

#ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #ted ihnmaims #sara speaks :3 #ihnmaims ted #the grip this man has on me ffs #i think about him so much it's unhealthy #i need to like #kill him

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kalcifers-blog · 5 months

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Can you also talk about how the fandom also has a tendency to infantilize Jameson (the only character with a confirmed physical disability)? I loved your piece on Chase, I too find it kinda odd how people portray Chase. (Especially if they want a silly soft boy Jackie is right there!)

Oh absolutely this is something that's pissed me off for a really long time.

Jameson Jackson is a fully grown adult man and it is just weird how people infantialize him and just in general make it out that he's completely innocent and can do no harm.

While I do think that JJ can definitely be a sweet guy who's nice and caring I don't think he's the innocent guy everyone portrays him as. I think he has the ability to be just as much of a dick as the other Egos. If anything I could imagine him to be generally unimpressed and not seeing an issue of blatantly letting people know that.

JJ deserves the right to be angry and he deserves to not be nice about it!!

This is my interpretation of the man. So enjoy to anyone who is interested:

(the reason for the cut is that this is fucking LONG dude)

My view on him was that he was the very first person to come into contact with Anti- back in the 1920s. My personal theory is that Anti is attacking very specific individuals because of their abilities, whether they know of their abilities or not. JJ is unaware of his. He often introduces himself to each of the Egos based on what is most likely to affect them the most (for Chase it being a home intruder there to attack his family etc)

Anti took the form of an unknown stranger seemingly stalking him, he didn't really know what to make of him at first, he was just a stranger in the shadows, seemingly just appearing out of nowhere just to stare with eyes that are covered in shadow. Only to walk away calmly, not too long after being noticed, Jameson can't help but notice the stranger getting closer each time he sees him. (There would be weeks or months between each sighting, just long enough for Jameson to almost forget the man before he sees him again)

Everything went wrong during one of his puppet shows. When Anti appeared in the audience and despite the lighting he was still entirely encased in an impossibly dark shadow.

I like to think that JJ was possessed through the rest of his puppet show- yet no one notices. He's internally screaming for someone to notice something is deeply wrong and yet not one audience member can see it. Something about it angered him more than anything- how could any of them, most of them claiming to be close friends of his, not see that something is so horrifying wrong. Except the one audience member obviously.

I think after that experience JJ went out searching for anyone who would listen to him. His story was unbelievable and was often over looked- which lead him to the likes of IRIS, an extremely new company that was the first to hear him out, to actually listen to him.

Jameson Jackson hasn't left IRIS since- he made a deal with them, they'd help keep his tormentor at bay if they are allowed to understand the power he possessed- which turned out to be time manipulation, allowing him to effectively be unaffected by time but being forced to watch as the world moves on without him several times over. He's not immortal? Like he's able to die and other than his ability to warp time he's still extremely human.

He prefers to stay in IRIS, the entire time he's been there Anti hasn't found him since. And he definitely isn't going to be happy when he finds out he's been released.

Since he's been in IRIS so long I think he's very well respected amongst the staff. Especially since a lot of them know just how dangerous a man with nothing to lose and the ability to warp time can truly be. Like Chase he doesn't want to be a danger, he doesn't enjoy harming people but I think he has spent lifetimes worth of living in so much fear of his tormentor and seeing it spread and effect so many other people that he's willing to do whatever it takes at this point to snuff Anti out for good

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #jse #jacksepticeye egos #jameson jackson #jse jameson jackson #kal rambles #kal answers #kal writes #kalcifers blog

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fandomgirlz01 · 1 month

Text

Courageous Gift Pt. 1

Greg Sanders x Reader

Imagine on my fandom Instagram?: Yes/No

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: Yes/No

Style of Writing: Mini Series

Rating: PG-13 ~ For fluff and cuteness, but more adult commentary or even some triggering content.

Edited: Yes

Word count: 4,820

Post Date & Time: August 16th 2024 at 2:32 AM

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings Here

Listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}.

Summary: Based off of S7 Es4 & 7 When Greg becomes victim to a gang of street thugs that have been beating people all night, the reader is forced to fear the worst for her best friend.

Reader’s Pov:

I get into work and walk down the many hallways from the parking garage and to the locker room, quickly changing into my work clothes. Just as I start to put my old clothes away, Sara walks in and opens up her locker.

“Hi, y/n,” she greets me and I smile at her.

“Hi, Sara,” I greet her back as she turns to smile back at me.

“Are you doing okay? You look a little tired,” she observes and I sigh, shaking my head.

“Nah. I’m good, just didn't sleep much last night,” I respond and she purses her lips as I pull out my gun and clip it to my hip.

“Are you good to work then? I could talk to Griss, see if you can get a bit more sleep,” she wonders and I shake my head, closing my locker.

“No. It’s okay. He already knows. I called in before and asked if I could come in later. Hence why I’m here now,” I inform her with a shrug and she nods.

“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything,” she offers to me as she rubs my shoulder.

“Oh yeah, of course. Thank you,” I give my appreciation and she smiles at me.

“Anytime,” she replies with her own light smile.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you later. Gotta get to work,” I inform her and she nods.

“Yeah, see you later,” she agrees before I walk out of the locker room.

I walk through the lab’s endlessly long, winding hallways, looking for Grissom to talk to him. I just so happen to catch Greg, who smiles when he sees me and starts to walk up to me, making me smile as I start to walk towards him too.

“Way to go,” our coworker congratulates him as they pass each other and give one another a high five.

“Thank you,” Greg replies before walking over to me and I smile at him.

“Well, hello, Mr. Spiffy. Don’t you look nice in that suit and tie,” I remark, crossing my arms and giving a knowing smile. He grins as he pops the side of it.

“Thank you. I had court today,” he comments with a smug look crossing his face and I nod as I look him over.

“I know. Your first trial with a jury, how’d it go?” I ask and he grins more if that’s even possible, which with Greg it always is.

“You remembered,” he practically gushes and I roll my eyes.

“Of course I remember, Greg. We’ve only been best friends for how many years? Oh yeah, 20 plus years,” I sarcastically remark and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“It went great. I did so good that even the nice lady prosecutor took me to dinner,” he playfully boasts as he beams at me with a grin brighter than the sun as we slowly start to walk again.

“That’s great, G. I guess I owe you dinner now too,” I offer with my own sly grin, even though there’s a pit of boiling jealousy running through me.

“Actually, by the time we’re both off you’d probably be buying late breakfast,” he jokes with an eyebrow raise and I giggle.

“You know what I meant, dumbass,” I deadpan as I lightly hit his arm.

“Yeah, I did…” he sheepishly admits as he rubs his arm.

“No, but really. You don’t have to buy me breakfast. If anything, I’ll buy you breakfast,” he argues and I shake my head.

“Greg. How would that even make sense? Please, just let me treat you?” I beg him, giving him my best puppy eyes that I know he can’t say no to.

“Not the puppy eyes… and you bought the pizza on Friday,” he groans out in displeasure, shielding his eyes and I grin.

“Yeah, but it’s not every day my best friend survives his first day in court with a jury,” I joke with him and he shakes his head as he finally looks at me again while letting out a sigh of relief.

“Greg… y/n. Good, I need both of you,” Grissom calls out to us as he comes out of his office holding a clipboard and we look at one another before walking over to him together.

“Lose the monkey suit, you’ve got a scene: liquor store robbery. Here’s the address,” he informs Greg, looking him up and down before handing Greg a paper.

“Awe man, I like the monkey suit,” I playfully whine and Greg lets out a chortle, shaking his head.

“Well, too bad. He can’t go on a scene like that,” Grissom notes in humor as he looks at me over his glasses.

“Is it related to the earlier 415s?” Greg inquires as he looks at the address.

“Could be— Sofia’s got one of the suspect’s sweaters,” Grissom answers as he scratches at his ear.

“I need you to seal it, bring it back here and anything else you can find,” Grissom explains, pointing at Greg, who nods as he listens intently.

“All right. Who’s my wingman? Is it y/n?” Greg asks in excitement as he smiles at me.

“You're a big boy, Greg. You don’t need a wingman for this,” Grissom pointedly answers, giving him a judgmental fatherly look and I turn to Greg with a grin.

“Y/n, may I please see you in my office?” Grissom asks and I nod at him before he turns around and walks into it.

“Primary. Nice,” Greg comments with a light smirk as he hits the paper against his hand like he always does.

“Good luck out there, G. Be safe, yeah?” I ask him and he smiles, nodding.

“Of course. I promise,” he replies before opening his arms for a hug.

I smile back, taking a step forward and wrapping my arms around his torso, squeezing him affectionately. He wraps his arms around my waist and lays his head lightly on top of mine. I turn my head and nuzzle my nose into his neck, melting into him for a moment as all my tiredness comes flooding over me.

“Hey. You doing okay?” he asks as he starts to pull back from the hug, but I pull him back in.

“Just hold me for a second,” I mutter out, holding him a little tighter.

“Sure, I can do that,” he whispers softly as I relish in the tranquility that he provides me with.

“Are you sure you’re okay, fruit loop?” he asks me when I finally pull back from the hug and I purse my lips.

“I’m fine, poohbear. I just…” I pause, biting at my lip and he grabs my hand.

“Hey. It’s okay. I’m here for you through whatever, you know that,” he tentatively rubs his thumb on the back of my hand and I sigh.

“I’m having sleep problems again…” I relent hesitantly and he reverently nods.

“I figured. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks and I shake my head.

“I thought I could handle it…” I admit while refusing to look at him and he sighs.

“Well, now I’m definitely coming over and you're buying me breakfast,” he jokingly remarks and I look up at him in shock before smiling softly when I only see care written all over his face.

“You got yourself a deal. I’ll see you in the morning then?” I ask him in a hopeful tone and he smiles, nodding as he gives my hand one last squeeze.

“I’ll meet you at your apartment?” he questions with another raised eyebrow and I squeeze his hand back.

“Okay. I’ll see you then,” I agree, nodding and he gives one last nod before backing up while slowly letting go of my hand.

I shake my head as I feel a blush coming on, but I do my best to hide it. He walks away all the while walking backwards and I shake my head, holding back a giggle as he snaps his fingers before giving me finger guns. It’s only when he disappears that I let out a sigh before turning and walking into Grissom’s office.

Third Person Pov:

After saying goodbye to y/n, Greg quickly went to change out of his suit and into his work overalls before heading out to his SUV to drive out to the scene. As he drives down the streets of Las Vegas, following the directions on his GPS, he passes an alleyway and sees a glimpse of something strange. In confusion, he stops his car and backs up to look in the alleyway. He rolls his window down and hears grunting and groaning coming from the end of the alley as dark figures all seem to stand over another. Quickly, he picks up his radio and holds the button down for a moment.

“Control, control. This is CSI Sanders. I need some help,” he speaks into it before letting go of the button.

“Control, go with your information,” the dispatcher replies and he quickly turns his head back to the scene.

“Okay. I got an assault in progress. One alley south of Casino drive, cross street Shane,” he recites as he leans forward a bit to look at the sign.

“How many suspects involved?” The dispatcher questions as she gets ready to take the information down.

“Multiple, could be the guys who’ve been doing it all night,” Greg continues to relay information and he pauses as he waits anxiously.

“The closest unit has a five-minute ETA. Rolling code three. Are they armed?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. Ma’am, please, listen. You got to get here quicker than this,” he begs into the walkie talkie as he helplessly watches the group beat the poor person.

“Copy that. We’ll roll two additional units ASAP. Wait for backup,” the dispatcher replies and the radio goes silent.

Greg takes in a breath as he thinks for a split second before putting his SUV back into drive. He quickly backs the car up before pulling into the alleyway and driving down it while honking his horn.

“Move!” he shouts as he gets closer to the group while still honking his horn.

He hits his siren a couple of times while honking as he gets closer. It’s not until he gets a little closer that a lot of the suspects start to move away from the person on the ground, all running in different directions.

“Hey, get out of here!” he yells out at them as he waves his hand.

One of the suspects stays and continues to kick the victim on the ground. Greg comes to a stop and gives a long honk of his horn at the suspect, but the man just keeps kicking. Finally, he turns around and looks Greg right in the face. Greg is in shock when he sees the guy's eyes are stark white, before fear races through him as the guy quickly rushes over to his right and picks up a rock. At first he moves his hand back like he’s going to bash the victim's head open, but then he turns to Greg and starts to run towards him.

He pulls his arm back as he runs at Greg, who watches in slow motion as he gets closer and closer, seeming like he’s going to throw the rock at Greg through the windshield. Greg makes a split second decision and puts his foot down on the gas ever so slightly, revving the engine just a bit to make the car jolt forward. The guy continues to run at Greg and the car meets the guy in the middle. The guy and the car collide, making him hit the hood before falling to the ground as Greg stops the car to take a moment to calm down. Then all of a sudden, the back window breaks with a resounding crash, making Greg turn to look behind himself, but he sees nothing behind him so he calms once again.

The calm is short lived though, because his driver's side window is next to be broken. He doesn’t have time to turn and find the source seeing as arms reach in. He fights the arms for a good minute, but he loses the battle and gets pulled out of the driver's side window. He continues to fight the one attacker off, but all the others that he’d chased off come back. He continues to try and fight back, but the group is so big that they easily overpower him.

They slam him up against a fence and then suddenly in a blur he’s on the floor. He tries to crawl away, but they’re relentless and just keep kicking and hitting him. Slowly everything starts to become distorted and the world spins. One of the suspects turns him over onto his back and all he can really tell is that they laugh before one of them spits on him. Even in his hazy mind frame, Greg still tries to think of anything he can do to make it easier to find them, so as one of them steps over him while going to walk away, Greg reaches up and scratches his ankle. The last thing Greg sees before blacking out is a car side swiping his as it drives away.

Reader’s Pov:

After my talk with Grissom, I shake my head as I go on a hunt for Sara. Grissom decided that until I can get my insomnia in check, I’m not allowed in the field alone so he’s assigned me to her side or Nick’s side seeing as they’re head senior CSIs. Admittedly I’m not too thrilled with it, but I totally understand why and at least I’m still allowed in the field. It’s only a few minutes until I find her right where Grissom told me she’d be. I find her in the recreation lab standing at one of the tables, writing something down.

“Oh, hi. Long time no see,” she jokingly greets me for the second time today as she looks up from some paperwork on the table.

“Hi. Did Griss inform you?” I ask her and she pauses as if to think.

“No. I don’t think he did,” she answers my question with a shake of her head and I sigh.

“I’m on suspended duty,” I inform her and she gives a small “ahh.”

“You’re officially on babysitting y/n duty. Well, you and Nicky. I’m not allowed to go to any scenes without either of you,” I continue to explain and she smiles softly.

“Don’t think of it as me babysitting you. Think of it as just two girls working together,” she remarks with a reassuring smile and I shrug.

“Still don’t like not being able to work on my own. I’m a level three CSI. I should be okay,” I begrudgingly tell her as I cross my arms and she chuckles, shaking her head.

“Griss is just looking out for you. You know that,” she points out and I sigh.

“I know, I just—” I start to confide, but cut myself off.

“You know what, forget it. What are you working on?” I ask her as I shake out of my daze and walk around the table.

“Okay…” she skeptically agrees as she seems to watch me closely for a moment.

“I’m trying to find out how many different shoe patterns we have,” she explains as she finally turns back to the table and lifts a shoe imprint up.

“So far I’ve found about three shoes and matched them in the solemate database. Griss wants me to see if I can match any of the others,” she finishes explaining as she holds up a paper with the shoe print and all its information on it.

“Want some help?” I ask with a timid smile and she smiles, nodding.

“You know what? That would actually be so great. I have over ten more to match,” she grins as she picks up a pair from the side of the room and holds them out for me to see.

“Get kickin,” she jokes as she hands me the pair and I laugh.

“Aye aye, captain,” I jokingly salute her before sitting on one of the stools to switch out shoes as she laughs, shaking her head.

“Phew, I could use some water,” Sara comments through labored breath after we finish the last three kicks.

Together we worked on each taking different pairs of shoes and kicking the dummy. So far we’ve each done about three pairs of shoes and seem to be half way done.

“I know. That was so much work,” I pant out as I walk over and grab a towel off the table.

I long ago discarded my top and now stand in only my tank top along with a pair of sweats I’d gotten from my locker after the first set of shoes. I start to wipe at the nape of my neck as she walks over and picks up her water bottle.

“Tell me about it. I haven’t worked out since—” I start, but she holds up a finger as she picks up her ringing phone from the table.

“Hold that thought, it’s Sofia,” she informs me as she answers the phone.

“Isn’t she with Greg?” I ask, but only receive a nod in response.

My brows furrowed in confusion as she talks to Sofia for a few minutes before her face falls and she’s quickly nodding while promising we’ll be there soon. She quickly hangs up before slowly looking at me and something feels off about her look.

“Go get your safety vest and gear,” she commands in a very serious tone and I give her a confused look.

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” I ask her and she sighs, putting her phone in her pocket.

“Okay. Ahh. Here, sit down for just a second,” she tells me as she pulls the small stool out from underneath the work bench.

“Ah, okay. Sara, please just tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me,” I beg her and she sighs, squeezing her eyes closed.

“Listen. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. I’m just going to tell you straight, okay?” she asks with a questioning look on her face.

“Okay. Just tell me…” I reply with a light nod and she sighs again.

“Greg’s been hurt in the field,” she blurts out and immediately everything comes crashing down.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. Okay. It’s okay,” she panics as I lightly fall back and she catches me.

“Bad idea to sit you on a stool,” she sarcastically comments more to herself than me as she rolls her eyes.

“I’m okay. I promise. Is he okay? Sara, tell me he’s okay,” I beg her while squeezing her hand and she sighs.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I just told Sofia that you and I would be there as soon as we could get there,” she informs me and I immediately hop off the stool.

“Let’s go then,” I declare as I rush past her, not giving her a moment to reply.

I quickly race to the locker room with Sara right behind me and open my locker as fast as I can. I pull my vest out and slip it on over my tank top, not caring to change, pulling the velcro straps tight. Then I grab my gun and clip it into its holster before turning to Sara, who now has her vest and gun too.

“Ready to go?” she asks me and I nod.

“As ready as ever,” I mutter before we both quickly make our way to her car.

After we get into the car, she turns it on and makes quick work of pulling out. She turns on her sirens, making the drive much quicker. Soon before I know it, she pulls up just at the edge of the alley way and I’m already unbuckling. She doesn’t even fully get out herself before I’m rushing forward, pushing through all the people that officers hold off. I see Sofia as she talks to some lady.

She looks up at me for a moment and my heart drops when she gives me a frown, making me stop in my tracks just as Sara catches up. I stand frozen, my mind going a hundred miles as Sara lightly grabs onto my arm and squeezes for a moment, effortlessly breaking me out of my practically catatonic state. She starts to continue her walk, almost pushing me along and we meet up with Sofia.

“Hey,” Sara greets her as we push past the scene tape with Sofia now following us.

We finally make it around the ambulance and find three on the ground. I let out a quiet gasp when I see Greg laying on the ground, almost peacefully, and for a moment the world starts to spin.

“Why isn’t there a medic on Greg?” Sara asks Sofia as she grabs onto my arm to stabilize me when she sees me sway a bit.

“He’s been stabilized, Sara. Y/n, he’s going to be okay,” Sofia promises as we continue to walk over to him and she splits off from us.

We both bend down next to him and Sara grabs onto his hand. I reach forward and rub at his head as tears make their way to my eyes. As I touch him, he breathes out and I choke back my tears.

“Y/n… Sara,” he faintly speaks to us and I nod at him.

“We’re here, Poohbear. We’re right here with you,” I tell him as I comb through his hair with my fingers.

“I didn’t think you could see us,” Sara softly adds with sad humor lacing her voice and more tears well up in my eyes.

“I can’t… but I know y/n’s touch… and that Sidle scent,” Greg replies and I let out a wet giggle as tears start to fall now.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” she replies to him with a light chuckle before looking at me and I continue to try and hold my tears at bay.

“I scratched one of them…” Greg coughs out and Sara lifts the hand she holds when he moves it ever so slightly.

“And you should check my vest. I think the same guy spit on me,” Greg continues to explain and I rub his head more in hopes of comforting him while frowning.

“And one of their cars crashed into the Denali,” he informs us and Sara looks up for a moment as I choke back more tears.

“I guarantee there's transfer on it,” he adds on through his slurred, tired words and I continue to rub at his head.

“You should process the scene now. Me later,” Greg mutters out to us and I shake my head as I hold back a sad chuckle at the thought of him still being a CSI at heart, no matter what.

“We came here for you, Greg,” Sara tells him as tears make way to her eyes now too.

“Oh, Poohbear. You don’t have to be a CSI all the time,” I giggle out though my tears as I shake my head and Sara shakes her head, chuckling herself.

“Leave it to Greg,” she comments and I smile softly.

We sit with him for a few minutes and the whole time I have to remind myself I can’t move Greg until he’s processed. It’s hard when I just wanna cuddle and hold him in my arms. Nick soon shows up and Sara stands to go talk to him. I'm assuming she relays what Greg had told us before she walks back over to us, bending back down.

“Okay, Nicky’s going to get the evidence around us started. I’m going to collect evidence from Greg, then the paramedics will take him to the hospital. I’m assuming you want to go with him?” she informs me before asking her question and I nod, sniffing.

“Umm, yeah. I'm gonna go with him,” I reply as I continue to lightly scratch at his scalp and she nods, rubbing between my shoulder blades lightly for a moment.

“Ok. I'm just going to get some stuff from Nicky’s kit. I’ll be right back,” she informs me and I nod at her, not having the will to speak as my throat gets tighter and tighter.

“I’m okay, fruit loop. Promise,” Greg whispers out, giving a small wince of a smile after she leaves and let out another wet laugh.

“I’m supposed to be the one comforting you, doofus,” I snarkily reply as I sniffle, reaching up to wipe at a lone tear that falls.

“Yeah, but I hate when you cry,” he whispers out again and I choke back more tears.

“G. Don’t think about me right now. Stop talking, save your energy,” I insist as I continue to rub his scalp and he gulps a bit before nodding.

I sit with him for another few minutes before Sara walks back over. She has a few things in her hands as she bends down again. She opens one of the swabs, using it to get some of the spit off of him before pushing it back in the tube and closing the lid.

“Okay. The rest of processing will have to be at the hospital. So I’ll, uh… meet you there I guess,” she informs me with a shrug and I only nod at her.

“Okay. You guys are good to take him then,” she calls out over my shoulder and soon the paramedics are walking over.

I stand up and Sara holds me in a hug as I keep my stare locked on him. They roll a stretcher over and they quickly but carefully move Greg onto it. He groans for a moment at the initial movement, but soon he’s calm again. They start to roll him to the ambulance and Sara lets go of me.

“Fruit loop?” he calls out almost meekly as he moves his head, looking for me.

“I’m right here, Poohbear. I’m coming with you,” I softly promise him and he reaches his hand out to me.

I hesitate, not wanting to ruin any evidence that might be on him, but I feel a hand on my back, making me look at Sara. She smiles softly at me for the millionth time today as she rubs my shoulder ever so slightly.

“You can hold his hand. It’s okay. It won’t ruin any of the evidence, I promise,” she tells me and I shake my head, letting out a quiet choke and she nods at me.

“It’s okay. Really,” she continues to prompt me, lifting my arm to his.

I hesitantly grab onto his hand and it seems he relaxes ever so slightly, making my hesitation quickly fade. I squeeze his hand, letting him know I’m there and look up to nod my thanks to Sara as she just smiles softly back.

“I’ll meet you there, okay?” she asks in a very calming tone. I only nod as I watch over Greg’s face that’s full of black and blue bruises as everything seems to fade out of my mind.

The ride as well as the arrival to the hospital is all hazy now as I sit in the main lobby. I wait anxiously for Sara and Brass as they finish processing and questioning Greg. I groan, bringing my hands up to rub my face as my leg shakes in anticipation. Finally after what seems like forever, Sara and Brass turn the corner and start down the hall.

“Y/n. He’s ready for you to go on in,” Sara tells me as she comes up and sits down next to me.

“He’s actually asking for you,” Brass adds on with a light smile.

“I can take you to his room before going to help Warrick and Nicky if you’d like,” Sara offers as I blink up at her before nodding.

She holds an arm out for me and I stand on shaky legs. Brass gives me a warm fatherly hug and rubs my head before saying a quick “bye,” as well as promising to catch the guys that did this. Sara and I start to walk, her leading me mindlessly through the halls.

“His room is just around this corner,” she informs me and I freeze, making her stop to turn to me.

“Y/n?” she asks and I stay frozen.

“I don’t know if I can go in, Sara,” I tell her with a gulp as tears well up.

“Y/n. He’s okay. You’re okay. Everyone is okay. He needs you. He needs your comfort,” she sympathizes with me and I sniffle before standing straight.

“Ok. You're right, take me to him. I’m ready now,” I tell her with a determined nod and she smiles softly before turning to start walking to his room again.

To Be Continued…

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sachiko6243 · 10 months

Text

Pon Farr

Summary: After Spock and Lucy established a relationship, Spocks nature calling sends them into taking a few more steps as a couple.

Word count: 4941

Warnings: smut with plot, violence, Minors DNI!!! this contains adult content

Translations:

* sa-fu = son

* ashayam = beloved/darling

* kal'i'farr = wedding

* nafai = okay

* Oekon you ri goal fai -tor, ra you aishan tor = you have no idea what you're doing to me

Other notes: The extended mind meld is ssth that grew in my imagination. Just ignore or run with it. Thx 🥰

Knowing you might want to read it @mystery-star I tagged you 😇

I woke up in the night to someone caressing my body.

Spock.

I smiled at him. His face was brightly lit by the moonlight. But when I recognized his expression, the smile slipped away. His eyes were full of hunger and sexual desire. Pon Farr had begun. Spock leaned over me. "You look so beautiful, t'hy'la ." I tried to push him away, but he was far too strong. He easily took my hands and held them tied above my head. "Spock, stop. Your Pon Farr has begun. We must..." He interrupted me with an urgent kiss. With one hand he still held my hands above my head. The other started pulling my nightgown up.

"Stop! Stop it! That's not you!" My voice got louder and I tried to wriggle out of his grip unsuccessfully. His lips kissed my neck, my face, my cleavage. "Stop. I don't want this. Spock, please." I pleaded. Fear rose inside me. Tears formed in my eyes. But Spock didn't stop. He had now pushed my nightgown up so far, that he could easily slide his fingers over my panties.

"Jim!" I screamed, hoping to wake him. "Jim help me! Please!"

“He won’t be able to help you. He's far too weak." Spock sneered and pushed my panties aside. "No!" I had actually started to cry. There was a big lump in my throat and I felt sick. Images of Hanesh kept flashing through my head. "Jim!"

The bedroom door slammed shut with a crash. Jim threw himself at Spock and actually managed to pry him off of me. I jumped out of bed and stood frozen in the middle of the room.

“Lucy run! Get Ambassador Sarek ." Jim shouted. Spock punched him in the face and then tried to reach for me again. But Jim didn't let go and pulled him back onto the bed. "Go!" he shouted at me again. Blood ran from his nose. Suddenly, I spun around and ran. Out of the room and down the long hallway. My nightgown billowed dangerously high on my hips, but I didn't care. I ran like a madwoman all the way to Spock's father's apartment. When I got there I banged furiously on the door.

“Ambassador Sarek. I need your help! It's about Spock." I pounded and pounded. I'm sure I woke up almost every one of his neighbors, but I didn't care. Suddenly the door opened and I fell forward into a dark brown tunic. Large hands straightening me again.

“Lieutenant Esteban. "What happened?" Sarek asked me and let me go.

"Spock... He..." I stammered, unable to calm myself.

"Remain calm." Sarek took my hands. I immediately felt his calmness. I tried to orientate myself on that. It took a few breaths, but then I managed to say: "Spock forced himself on me. I think his Pon Farr has started. Jim could stop him and now they're fighting."

As if struck by lightning, Sarek let go of my hands and gathered up his tunic. And then he ran. I could not believe it. Ambassador Spock, a full-blooded Vulcan ran! I quickly ran after him and was able to catch up with him at the door. The sight that greeted me was terrifying. The room was completely devastated. Jim layed beneath Spock. Holding his hands protectively in front of his head. Blood ran from his nose and lip. "Spock!" I uttered. His eyes were immediately on me. Jim took advantage of the moment, clamping Spock's legs between his and rolling around. With his hands he pushed his arms to the ground and tried to pin him to the ground with his entire body to keep.

"Sa- fu*!" Ambassador Sarek's voice boomed through the room. And as if he was breaking through an invisible wall, Spock immediately stopped struggling. He blinked a few times and then looked between me and Jim. When Spock saw my tears, he was shocked. "What have I done? Did I hurt you?" I shook my head.

"Let go of me, Jim!" Spock demanded.

"Are you sure?" Jim looked uncertainly at Spock and then at Sarek .

"Yes. I can control myself now."

Jim reluctantly got up from the ground, trying to keep the blood on his face from dripping onto the floor.

Behind me the door swung open again. "What happened here?" Scotty and Bones. Presumably woken up by the noise, they pushed past me. Bones was immediately at Jims side and looked at his face. "I'm fine. Get your hands out of my face," Jim said and slapped his hands away.

“You are not. Your nose is broken." Bones protested.

"Ay, I think the Commander got the Captain pretty good." Scotty's eyes were on Spock's hands. Bones spun around. "You what?" He waved his hands angrily at Spock. Jim stepped in. Probably out of concern that Spock might freak out again in his current state. “Everything’s fine, Bones. He didn't do it on purpose. He has Pon Farr." Jim pronounced it as if it was an illness, causing Scotty to raise an eyebrow: " Pon Farr? Is that contagious?" He immediately took a few steps back and looked at Spock uncertainly.

"No it's not. Our first officer has just become this wild, sex-crazed animal. That's why we're here, isn't it Jim?" Bones started to press Jim's face again. He just whined and didn't answer. "I thought so." Bones murmured, barely making it audible. Scotty stared between the two, obviously confused. "Ay, and what does that mean exactly?" Bones looked at him annoyed. "He over there..." He pointed to Spock. “Must mate with Lucy in the next eight days or he’ll die. Pon Farr is a vulcan mating ritual."

“Doctor, I appreciate it, if you didn’t talk about my culture like that. Pon Farr is very important to us and your condescending attitude is insulting to my people." Spock growled, his jaw clenched tight, his hands clenched at his sides. "Condescending." Bones hissed. "Jim looks like he's been run over and you're worried about whether I'm insulting your culture or not." Spock took a step toward Bones, growling even louder, but I was faster.

I put my hands calmly on his chest and held him back. I had barely touched him before he recoiled from me as if I had burned him. “That’s enough, Bones. For Vulcans, Pon Farr is one of the most intimate things. I need you to be my friend in this, so at least try not to get thrown out, okay ?" I asked him. Bones just grumbled, but then nodded.

"Well." Ambassador Sarek raised his voice. "I think it would be best for everyone if we go our separate ways. Spock, you come with me. The others stay here and take care of Captain Kirk. I'll go to the High Priestess straight away and make the necessary preparations. Until tomorrow." He stepped aside and waited for Spock to walk past him. But he hesitated and looked at me.

"I'm fine. You didn't hurt me." I said and took him in my arms. "I'll wait for you here and it'll be over tomorrow, okay?"

"Okey." Spock hid his face in my hair. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me, ashayam*." I hugged him tighter. “I was never mad at you, sa t’hy’la. You can not help it."

Before Spock left the room, he turned to Jim. “I'm sorry, Jim. Thank you for protecting Lucy from me. I'll be eternally grateful to you." Jim waved him off with a wry smile. "Oh, nonsense. You're my friend, that's a given. Even if I wouldn't say no if the next few drinks went to you." Spock's mouth twitched before he turned away and left the room, followed by his father.

***

When I woke up the next morning I felt completely exhausted. Bones, Scotty, Jim and I stayed up a little longer trying to put the room back in order. I peeled myself out of bed and went into the living room. In one corner the broken furniture lay piled on top of each other, a pile of dust in front of it. Jim was sprawled out on the sofa, snoring softly. I shook him awake. “Come on, get up. I'm going to get ready and then it's your turn, okay ?" Jim hummed and rubbed his face. " Hmm... Yeah..."

Shaking my head, I went into the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and showering, I sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared at the traditional dress hanging neatly on the hanger on the door like a dark omen. It was floor length and had medium length balloon sleeves. Like flowing water, blue and green colors flowed around the dress and made it shimmer like a lizard rising from the water. I tied my hair up and slipped into the dress. It was light and made of thin, fine material. It fell in soft lines over my body and billowed on the floor. Great. It was way too long. Hopefully I wouldn't trip. I mentally cursed the much taller Vulcans.

A pounding on the door broke me out of my thoughts. “Lucy, hurry up. Scotty and Bones are already waiting and I haven't even showered yet." I pulled the door open and switched with Jim. Carefully, so as not to step on the dress, I went into the living room. Scotty and Bones were sitting there on the sofa. They were dressed in floor-length white tunics and wore something like a gray wool parka over their shoulders.

A little later, Jim emerged from the bathroom in the same outfit. "I think I'm dying." He announced, pulling the tunic up to his hips. "How on earth do they not shrink in these clothes?" Bones shook his head. “Were you not paying attention in the academy? Vulcans are used to heat. Their body temperature is higher than ours and they experience hypothermia much later than we do."

"And then they wear carpets for miles on a desert planet?" Jim put the parka on the sofa and tried to somehow sit with his tunic on. It looked really ridiculous. I had to laugh, which earned me a dirty look.

“Ay Lassie , it is definitely beneficial to wear long, loose clothes in such temperatures and sunlight. They provide enough UV protection and keep you reasonably cool." Scotty chimed in, leaning back more comfortably. "I like this tunic. Maybe I can take one home with me."

Jim opened his mouth but was interrupted by a knock on the door. I stood up and waded through the masses of skirt to the door. When I opened it I saw Ambassador Sarek and Spock. Sarek was dressed in the same robes as the others, but when my eyes landed on Spock, I stopped breathing. He looked hot. He wore a gold tunic with a white collar made of fine silk. Over it he wore a knee-length blue jacket embroidered with gold decorations. His face was framed by the high collar of his jacket and contrasted wonderfully with his black hair.

I walked the path in silence next to Spock. All my concentration was on not tripping. A tingling feeling spread through my body the longer the walk went. As we turned a corner, there was a woman standing there in an equally elaborate red dress. Spock stopped me. "Do you know what you have to do?" I nodded uncertainly. "I'm going with the high priestess, right?"

"Correctly. We'll meet again soon." He squeezed my hand encouragingly and I slowly walked towards the High Priestess with unsteady steps. "Hello Lieutenant Esteban. I'm High Priestess T'Pau . Do you know what you have to do?" The older Vulcan woman asked me. "Yes. When we start, I have to be the last to follow the group." I answered, out of breath. A gong could be heard in the distance. She nodded. "Then let's get started."

Scotty and Bones got in line behind T'Pau and I followed them last into the small stadium. It was surrounded by high stone walls. A large jade gong hung in the middle; Spock stood patiently by. Standing next to a wall behind Spock were his father and Jim. I stood there, Scotty and Bones at my side, waiting for my turn.

The priestess greeted Spock with the Vulcan salute, which he returned. He knelt before her and placed the fingertips of her right hand right next to his ear. He stood up and looked at his father and Jim. As if on command, they stepped next to him. “As you probably remember, Priestess, this is Captain James Tiberius Kirk and my father is Ambassador Sarek . "I have chosen them to be my witnesses to the ceremony." Spock explained calmly.

"And how do you guarantee their presence?" She asked him.

"With my life." Spock replied firmly.

“What will happen now comes from the beginning of time. It is the volcanic heart, the volcanic soul. It is kal'i'farr*." she began to recite.

Spock slowly walked back to the gong and I followed him. Scotty and Bones stayed where they were supposed to. We stopped briefly in front of the gong. Spock slowly reaching out, giving me time to interrupt him, but I didn't. The deep sound of the gong echoed through the stadium. “As it was destined from the beginning, and it will be for all tomorrow, for you, sa t'hy'la, I will do everything I can." I said in a loud voice and raised two fingers. "Lucy, my k'diwa, from you comes everything that I am." Spock replied and placed his fingers on mine. I pressed sensitively against his fingers.

"As it was in the beginning, so it shall be now." I gently stroked his fingers. Spock took my entire hand in his. "Two bodies, one spirit." He finished the ritual and took me in his arms.

***

After we had completed the ritua, we were led by the priestess to a single small hut at the edge of the rite site. The hut was made of reddish stone with a black roof. The door was made of dark wood and was decorated with volcanic symbols. Small windows nestled between black shutters

A few meters away there were a few benches under a small canopy. Soft pillows were spread across them. A fire burned in the middle. The small square was surrounded by a low blue hedge with red flowers. Plants that were unfamiliar to me were planted loosely around the hut. The priestess opened the door and motioned for us to enter. “We will wait for you here. The bonding ritual is an important part of our culture; correct execution and witnessing are essential. If any difficulties or questions arise, do not hesitate to reveal yourself."

I looked between Jim, Bones, Scotty, Ambassador Sarek , and the priestess with wide eyes.

Witnesses?

But I didn't have time to think about it any further. Spock pulled me into the hut behind him. As soon as the priestess had closed the door behind us, Spock's hands were on mine. "What do you think, k'diwa?" He asked, feeling my confusion and fear through his hands.

"Are the others going to sit out there the whole time?" I looked down and blushed. Just the thought that Spock's father knew what his son was going to do was so embarrassing, that I wanted to sink into the ground. And the possibility that he could hear us... I didn't even want to think about it.

"This ritual is very important to my people." Spock replied. "Do you trust me when I tell you that none of the witnesses present find it strange?"

“You probably don’t believe that yourself. On the other side of that door sits James Tiberius Kirk. How do you think he's going to tease us for the next few months when we go out there again?"

“Jim knows how important my culture is to me. He won't dare joke about it. And if he does, I will use the Vulcan neck hold to silence him." Spock smiled mischievously at me. And the image of Jim passing out on the floor brought a small grin to my face. "Okey. " I breathed. I trusted Spock to stand up for me if Jim did anything. I wasn't worried about Bones and Scotty as they were mostly just dragged into the taunts by Jim. Then I looked Spock in the eyes: "Doesn't it bother you that there are five people out there listening to us having sex?"

Spock smiled with hungry eyes. "On the contrary. I'm happy thinking about everyone now knowing who is claiming you. Let all New Vulkan hear who you belong to. I need you. I want to hear how good I make you feel. I want you to moan louder than you have ever done before. You belong to Me!"

Jesus... Spock during Pon Farr was already a different number. My usually stoic Vulcan now circled me like a hungry lion its prey. His eyes were dark with lust and he was breathing heavily. I felt the desire boiling inside me and pooling between my legs. Without taking his eyes off me, Spock stripped off his ritual clothing until he stood naked in front of me. He then began to pull my dress over my head.

Carelessly dismissing, he pressed his lips hard against mine. He grabbed me by my thighs and lifted me up. A short sound of horror escaped my mouth as my back slammed against the wall. “Sorry, t'hy'la . Did I hurt you?"

"No. It just surprised me." I replied breathlessly. Spock hummed in relief against my lips and kissed my chin, my neck, up to the sensitive spot under my ear. When he sucked the soft skin between his teeth, the first moan escaped me .

" T'hy'la ..." Spock's voice was hoarse and strained. "I can't hold back any longer. Please... allow me to begin the ritual."

"Nafai*." I breathed. As soon as I had agreed, Spock lowered me onto his member. I threw my head back, a loud moan on my lips.

He held me tightly with one arm and didn't move at all. He placed the other on my cheek, ready to merge our consciousnesses together to build the foundation for the bonding ritual. He looked at me expectantly, "Are you ready?"

I nodded and closed my eyes.

He merged our consciousness and our memories blurred together. Then he began to say the ceremonial words in Vulcan. I had made a translation in my language a few days earlier. The priestess had explained to me that it was extremely important for Spock and me to perform the ritual in both languages because we come from different races.

„T'nash-veh k'diwa.

Nash-veh spock ugaya tor kwon-sum tanilau klashausu, ashaya heh savety tor du.

Nash-veh dungi kwon-sum nam-tor tra' na' du tor nenikaya du k'fai ek' ra sarlah.

Tor gol'nev du svi' rom heh svi' rasahkos.

La' nash-veh lamok heh ya'akash du tor kal-tor nash-veh tor nam-tor kashek klimtau k' du na' etwel ha-tor.

Sanoi nem-tor nash-veh u' ish-veh telan katelau.

Etwel tel-tor dungau to'ovau karik abru' wak heh tanilau etek k' ek' wuh a'rak vel ik sarlah k' ha-tor telan."

I answered him in Vulcan to complete his part of the ritual: „Nash-veh lucy nem-tor du u' t'nash-veh telan katelau."

Now it was my turn to say the same words to complete the bonding ritual:

"My beloved.

I, Lucy, promise to always offer you protection, love and security.

I will always be there for you to support you in whatever comes.

To support you in good and bad.

Here I stand and ask you to allow me to merge with you for our lives.

Please accept me as your bonding mate.

Our bond should grow stronger over time and provide us with all the positive aspects that come with a lifelong bond."

Spock replied in my language, ending the ritual. "I, Spock, accept you as my bonding mate." Then he removed his hand from my cheek and I opened my eyes.

" T'hy'la ? " Can you hear me?" I put my hand over my mouth. "Oh my God..." I gasped. “I heard you in my head! It worked!" Spock smiled slightly. "Of course it worked. Did you have any doubts?"

"Just a little." I admitted, watching with relief as his eyes widened as he heard me in his head. "Fascinating," he exhaled, carrying me to the bed.

Only then did I look around the small room. Everything was decorated in orange-brown earth tones. A landscape painting of Vulcan hung in the middle above the bed. Next to the bed were two small, triangular bedside tables and two flower pots with plants I didn't recognize. On the opposite wall there was a brown leather sofa, a glass display case and a small shoe cabinet. To my left was a trellis with an ivy-like plant and a picture of a vulan poem, which I couldn't decipher. Spock sank into the soft mattress with me. The cover was rough against my skin. I suspected it was made from the coarse linen of simple Vulcan clothing.

The change in position caused Spock to penetrate me deeper. "Hmph." I mumbled, trying to muffle my volume with my hand. “K’diwa. Stop hiding. Everyone knows what's happening between us here. Trying to make them believe otherwise is extremely illogical." Spock murmured between gentle kisses. "I know... It's just... This is extremely embarrassing for me. For us humans, intimacy rarely happens in public." I whispered, trying not to blush any further.

"Understandable. We Vulcans are also not a people who openly show affection physically. But this can hardly be called public."

"Still..." I muttered. "It's weird."

"T'hy'la, what can I do to stop you from being embarrassed?" he asked, looking at me intently. His brown eyes were almost completely black. Hunger and worry alternated as if he were himself not sure what he should feel.

I put a hand on his cheek. "Talk to me. Tell me what you think, what you feel, what you want from me to make me forget where we are. Make me feel like there is only you. I want you to own me completely. I want to be completely at your mercy."

" K'diwa ..." Spock groaned, pushing himself onto his hands with his head thrown back. „Oekon du ri tor fai-tor, ra du aishan tor.*"

And then he started moving. He slowly increased the pace until he was thrusting hard and deep into me. He took my hands and held them pressed to the mattress above my head. Like a train crashing into a wall, his emotions rushed through me. His desire was overwhelming and I wondered how he hadn't jumped on me much sooner. " Look at me!" His voice echoed in my head. I opened my eyes and looked at him. "You're only mine, understand?"

I nodded, but that wasn't enough for him.

"Answer me!"

"Yes Commander."

I let my gaze wander over his body. The key to my collar dangled around his neck on a thin silver chain. It stood in stark contrast to his dark, hairy chest. A thin line of hair ran down his stomach to his crotch. As if hypnotized, my gaze remained fixed on the spot where he penetrated me.

As Spock leaned down to kiss me, the key clinked rhythmically against the metal ring around my neck. His mouth traveled over my chin and neck. He stayed just below my ear for a moment before sucking the skin between his teeth. His tongue glided over it again and again causing hot waves of pleasure to run through my body.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes Commander."

I had no idea what he was planning to do, but I didn't care as long as he didn't stop fucking me. When he bit, I was so surprised that I reared up and let out a scream. Pain shot through my throat, but Spock didn't stop. On the contrary, his movements became faster and his grip on my wrists became stronger. He threw his head back and let a loud growl rumble through his chest. Warm liquid ran down my neck. Was I bleeding? I got the answer when Spock kissed me. I tasted the metallic taste of blood on his lips.

"I'm bleeding!" I accused him telepathically.

“Forgive me, t'hy'la . I didn't mean to..." Worry rose in his mind. "I forgot you were human. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Fulfill your promise." I grinned diabolically at him as I shared my thoughts with him. "Make me cum. I want everyone to hear how good you fuck me."

"Anything for you t'hy'la ."

He took both of my hands in one and then placed his free fingers on my clit. "I don't want you to hold back, understand?" He panted, his voice strained. "Yes, Commander." I answered obediently.

He slowly circled two of his fingers over my sensitive spot, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from me. He adjusted his pace to his hand and didn't take his eyes off me. His eyes wandered attentively over my face, my breasts, over his hand on my crotch and back again. The familiar tension began to form in my stomach, indicating that my orgasm was not far away. My legs were shaking and my breathing was heavy, punctuated by ragged moans.

"Spock..." I breathed. "Please... I have to... I can't..."

"Come for me, k'diwa." His fingers increased their pace, the thrusts becoming heavier and deeper. And then the band snapped. I bucked beneath him, lips formed in an O. "Oh God! Spock!" I didn't hold back. My moans were loud and definitely unmistakable to anyone sitting outside or walking by.

"T'hy'la." He called to me in his mind, pressing his forehead hard against mine. His consciousness forced its way into my head. He didn't hold it back and I could see what he saw, felt how hard it was for him to control himself. Spock was on the verge of his orgasm. His entire thinking was animalistic and possessive and I kept catching glimpses of his thoughts. His mind connected and disconnected from mine in waves.

"Mine. I have to..."

Spock closed his eyes. His breathing was heavy and uneven. He reached for my hand, but instead of taking it, I put it to my mouth. I waited until he opened his eyes again and looked at him as I slowly put two fingers in my mouth. I started sucking on them, letting my tongue dance around them. He gritted his teeth hard, his eyes fixed on my mouth and his fingers. I knew what I was doing to him. Vulcan hands and ears were the most sensitive areas. I practically gave him a blowjob. " K'diwa ..."

I took his fingers deeper into my mouth. His movements becoming frantic and it wasn't long before he emptied himself inside me, twitching and growling. With a soft pop I released his fingers from my mouth. But Spock apparently wasn't done with me yet. He forcefully grabbed me by the waist and pulled me down to the edge of the bed.

Then he knelt in front of me. The head between my thighs. Without hesitation he licked my entire entrance once. I reared up and clawed at the bed sheet. Instinctively I tried to close my thighs, but Spock held me tight. He happily pushed his tongue into my entrance and began to collect the mixture of his cum and my wetness in his mouth, then he stood up and leaned over me.

"Open your mouth!" he ordered. I obeyed and he spit everything into my mouth. "You only swallow when I allow you to, understand?"

"Yes Commander."

"Good girl."

A quiet hum could be heard from his chest as he knelt in front of me again. Without warning, he pushed two fingers inside me and wrapped his lips expertly around my clit. I groaned and his sperm ran from the corner of my mouth down my cheek. I quickly swiped it back into my mouth. A knot beginning to build inside me as his ministrations went on. My walls fluttered around his fingers and I twitched under his tongue, my mind completely fogged up. Every time I exhaled; a moan escaped me. Regardless, Spock drove me closer and closer to the edge. It was like he was trying to break a record.

His tongue circled my clit in sloppy figure eights, the fingers massaged my sensitive point in the same rhythm. "Spock!" I called him in my mind. Signaling how close I was.

"Swallow!"

And I swallowed right at the moment the knot burst. I called out his name, gurgling as the wave washed through my body. The edges of my vision went black and I raised my hands, shaking, hoping to hold on to him. As if he sensed it, he was on top of me. He took me in his arms and rolled over onto his back. Exhausted, I collapsed on top of him and snuggled under his chin. His hand gently stroked my back, the other held my head. We lay there for a few moments to regain our strength.

#spock x reader #spock smut #commander spock #fem reader #smut #pon farr #star trek

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questionablemorally · 4 months

Text

Sebard hcs! (Also obviously this isn’t canon at all, it’s just a bit of fun)

Sebastian finds teaching Bard to cook both frustrating and fun. It’s an excuse to be close to him (and therefore tease him), but sometimes he just gets in the way of Seb’s culinary mastery. That or he just tries to blow things up too much (‘No, no, don’t use THAT blowtorch for the crème brûlée!’)

Sebastian can speak multiple languages (demon powers y’know) but Bard can barely speak one. This often leads to, when Seb says something he doesn’t want Bard to hear/when he’s teasing Bard/when he’s struggling telling him it in English, he says it in French or German instead (‘je t’adore, mon petit copain.’ ‘huh? The fuck—’)

Whenever Bard acts a little more fatherly, Seb really likes this… for some reason. He gives the excuse that he just appreciates him taking on responsibility for the younger servants/Ciel, but there might be something more to it…

Their compliments to each other are either incredibly underhanded or really plain/basic. No in between e.g S: ‘You’ve actually made a decent meal for once, well done.’ / B: ‘Wow, you’re NOT acting like you’ve got a stick up your ass today, mister butler.’ or S: ‘You look presentable today’ / B: ‘You’re handsome I guess’

There are certain characteristics about each other they OBSESS over… Bard really likes messing up Seb’s outfit/hair/general appearance, and likes his lashes (which are strangely long for a guy…), and Sebastian quite enjoys helping Bard shave and chastising him for not looking nice enough

After BOA, I like to imagine that the wound Seb had took a while to heal from… maybe because it’s a reaper’s scythe that stabbed him through the stomach, or maybe it’s because he had something else limiting him, but nevertheless he was forced to heal at a slower rate than usual. Bard, experienced with dealing with wounds from war and also the only adult man in the house, went into full healer mode. He was very worried about Seb, and Seb asked Bard to stay by his side while he was recovering (Bard had to drag him back to his room MULTIPLE times because he kept trying to continue his duties even when wounded) - inspired by this post I saw and LOVED

One time Bard saved Seb from getting shot through the head by a sniper and this surprised Seb so much he kinda just laid there for a full 10 seconds (how could HE not sense it before this measly human??)

They’re not really together-together, they don’t like having the labels to define them as Bard still truly loves his family that he lost, and Seb just… doesn’t like labels all that much. They mess around and they’re kind of couple-y occasionally, but would never get married (though Ciel and Finny are basically their adopted children at this point)

I have a lot of less than sfw hcs for these two (I won’t add them to this post but if you want them…)

Again please tell me your opinions and if you want more/specific ships! I love doing hcs for different ships, and I’ll probably do some one shots for sebagni soon :)

#sebard #Sebastian x bard #kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian black butler #sebastian michaelis #bardroy #baldroy #bard #bard black butler #WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE SO MANY NAMES??

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stuckinthesun · 1 year

Note

Would you mind doing a reader x Eren request where Eren is in his bad boy/moody era and reader is a total virgin but Eren somehow ends up fucking her?

I’m not to sure how.. maybe they are sparring and it kinda just happens?

Ahhh sparring turn fucking is such a good trope

Eren Jeager x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nsfw, p in v, semi public sex, mean Eren, virgin!reader, dubcon (not really tho), barebacking, cumming inside

wc: 1.6k

All characters are 18+

You could tell Eren wasn’t in a good mood today. Of course that wasn’t exactly different from any other day lately, but it was worse today. He was snapping at everyone, including Captain Levi, and when anyone tried to talk to him he’d storm away, claiming he was fine.

Eren’s change in personality started after you guys took back Shiganshina, after finding out the truth to everything. He had always been angry but now that the threat wasn’t just titans, but people, it was like his anger changed too hate.

Today you decided to try something, you were tired of seeing your long time friend suffer, and if there was one thing you knew that would help Eren calm down, it was a distraction.

“Hey,” You said, walking up to where he sat perched in the sand, “Wanna spar?”

Eren looked up at you with a frown, squinting through the breeze, “What?”

“Want to spar? You seem like you could use the stress relief, if you’re willing to die yelling at the Captain like that.” You joked and warmth fills your chest as you see him crack a smile. The first smile you’ve seen from him in weeks, months even.

“I don’t know if that such a good idea.” Eren said, raising his voice as a wave crashed along the shore.

“Oh?” You quirked and eyebrow and crossed your arms, “And why’s that?”

“I might hurt you.”

“Eren Jeager,” You huff as you begin to roll your sleeves up, “We literally trained together as cadets. As long as you don’t shift it’ll be fine.”

“No really,” He said, voice growing agitated, “I haven’t exactly been remembering to pull my punches.”

“Then don��t.”

“Stop, seriously I’m fine!” Eren snapped, that small smile you were so happy to see long gone, replaced with a sneer.

He was standing in your face now, fists balled at his side, but you didn’t even flinch. You weren’t scared of Eren, you weren’t scared of him back in Trost when you first saw him shift, and you certainly weren’t afraid of him now.

“You need to get whatever the hell this is out of your system,” You said shoving him back, “And since you refuse to talk about it like a mature adult, this is the next best thing.”

“Don’t act like you know what I’m going through!” Eren yelled, suddenly tackling you into the sand, startling you.

The two of you rolled around like that for a moment, you trying to fight him off while he tried to pin you down. Eventually Eren won, holding your wrists down on either side of your head.

You stared at each other, panting for air and clothes messy. Somehow your shirt had ridden up, showing off your stomach. Eren noticed, his eyes trailing from yours to your exposed skin making you blush.

“Eren-“

“You want to help me blow off steam, right?” He said suddenly, eyes meeting yours again.

A sinking feeling settles in your stomach and your eyes widen when Eren transfers both of your wrists into one hand. His now free hand travels down the expanse of your body, fingers tucking under your shirt to lift it more.

“Eren wait-“

“Why?” He asks, tone bored, “You wanted to help.”

“I’ve never done this before!” You said, feeling embarrassed even though you shouldn’t. Between rigorous training and life threatening missions there was no time to even think about sex, let alone actually do it.

“First time for everything.” Eren shrugged before hiking your shirt up under your armpits, your bra on display.

“Eren please just-“ You were cut off again, but this time with a pair of lips.

There was nothing soft or romantic about the way Eren was kissing you. It was all bruising force and sharp teeth, the exact opposite of what you imagined your first kiss would be like.

It was a kiss to shut you up, and yet your body still reacted to it. Your eyes closed automatically and your mouth opened with a gasp when his hand pushed your bra out of the way, his thumb brushing over your nipple. You felt him smirk into the kiss.

“Guess you really do want to help.” Eren mumbled when he pulled away, quickly undoing the button on your pants.

“Eren.” You whined, and even you didn’t know if it was for him to stop or move faster.

You wouldn’t lie, Eren was attractive and only getting more so as he got older. You had developed a small crush on him some time ago, but with the state of your lives, Mikasa’s obvious love for him, and his indifference to anything except freedom, you never made a move. You didn’t think you stood a chance.

As Eren pulled your pants down, all but ripping one of your legs free from the material, you thought maybe you were wrong.

“God, already so wet for me and I’ve barely touched you.” He said, staring at the damp spot on your underwear. You instinctively went to close your legs from embarrassment but he was quick to catch them, “Oh no you don’t, keep your legs spread and let me fuck this pussy, okay?”

Eren didn’t wait for your reply, instead pulling his already hard cock out of his pants, pushing your panties to the side, and rubbing his dick through your folds. A moan ripped through you, starling you and making Eren chuckle.

“You’ve never even been touched before, have you?” He asked, collecting your slick on his cock. You shook your head, unable to trust your voice at the moment. He felt so good and he wasn’t even inside yet.

“Was that your first kiss?” Eren asked, stopping his movements and making you whine. “Answer me.”

“Y-yes, it was my first kiss.” You whimpered, rolling your hips to try and get back that friction.

“Fuck.” Eren groaned and without warning pushed the head of his cock instead you.

Tears immediately filled your eyes, the pleasure from a second replaced by pain. He was big, a lot bigger than your fingers, and since he hadn’t prepped you, the stretch was almost unbearable. Luckily Eren must of sensed your discomfort because once he popped his head in he stopped, leaning himself over you like a blanket to breathe into the crook of your neck.

“S-shit baby,” He stuttered out and you threw your arms around him, holding onto him for dear life. “You’re so tight it almost hurts.”

“D-definitely hurts.” You hiccup, feeling your tears fall.

Eren only chuckles meanly and says, “You can take it,” before pushing in more making you cry out.

Once he’s all the way inside, Eren stops again with a long groan. You’re crying now, eyes squeezed shut and you can feel hot steam under your fingers from where you’ve no doubt clawed chunks out of his back.

“Relax,” He’s saying in your ear suddenly, voice hoarse like he’s struggling, “You’re going to break my dick off if you don’t.”

You nod and take a deep breath, trying to force your body to relax. You don’t exactly know if you want this or not, your minds so clouded by all the sensations that doing what you’re told is almost instinctual.

“Good girl,” Eren moans, kissing your neck. “Just like, relax and enjoy it.”

He’s moving again, pulling out slowly and pushing back in a little quicker. It makes your breath hitch and your eyes roll to the back of your head. His length drags along a spot inside you that has you seeing stars, sparks of pleasure melting back into the pain. By the time he’s fucking you in earnest you’re a moaning mess beneath him.

“Fuck,” He groans again, his hand grabbing your leg and hiking it around his waist, “There you go. Knew you were a slut, just had to get you nice a loose for me.”

You were already close, that coil of warmth in your abdomen so much stronger than when you made yourself cum. Suddenly you needed to kiss him again, you need to feel him against you in every way. Dragging his face from the side of your neck you pulled him into a kiss and he instantly kissed back, pushing your head into the sand with the sheer force of it.

Instantly you were cumming, back arching into him and gasping into the kiss as pleasure consumed you.

Eren groaned into the kiss and you felt him bite your bottom, “Fuck baby, I make you good? Huh? Shit, you keep squeezing me like that and I’m gonna cum inside.”

“Do it.” You moaned, shaking from overstimulation.

“You sure?” He asked and you felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Yes, please Eren fill me up.” You begged, wrapping both your legs around him now to keep him inside you.

“Fucking shit-“ Eren cursed as he came, spilling inside you and filling you with warmth. You moaned at the feeling, clutching him tightly to you as another orgasm ripped through you.

Eren fucked you both through your releases, hips stuttering to a stop only when the pain of overstimulation was too much. After a moment he slowly pulled out of you, causing you both to hiss as the feeling, before flopping down on the sand next to you.

The two of you laid there silently for a while, breathing heavily and staring at the sky. You felt disgusting, especially with the sand sticking to you, but you were to exhausted to care.

You also felt too good.

Eren suddenly broke the silence, “I needed that.”

You reached over and smacked his arm hard, causing him to laugh, which caused you to laugh.

“So glad you’re feeling better,” You said sarcastically, “Now you get to help me clean up.”

“Round two in the bath?”

You turned your head to glare at him, seeing his smirk, “Don’t push it, Jeager.”

- Is this good? Is it bad? Idk but it is horny and that’s all that matters lol

Hope you like it Anon<3

#eren jeager x y/n #eren yeager x reader #eren x you #eren jeager #eren jeager smut #eren jeager x you #eren jeager x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren yaeger x you #eren yaegar #eren yeager #aot x reader #eren jaeger #eren yaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger smut

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hellfiremunsonn · 8 months

Text

Stuck With Me. Eddie Munson x Reader.

AN: At the end of each chapter will be a picture of ‘your’ Journal. Photos, and writing of a little bit from each chapter.

(THIS IS A REUPLOAD ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE RE UPLOADED ONE BY ONE)

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

WARNINGS: Mentions of drinking (they're at a bar) Eddie is sweaty

WORDCOUNT: 5k

CHAPTER 3: THE GANGS ALL HERE

It took about fifteen minutes for the house to become a loud mess of young teens and young adults. Passing between the open door to the backyard, people dipping their feet in the pool, some hovering in the kitchen, and of course Steve, watching Robin with his hands on his hips as she manned the grill. He still didn't trust her enough to cook by herself, and you could only reassure him so many times, but still he refuses to fully believe you.

The gang included, Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, Lucas Sinclair, who was dating Max. Mike Wheeler and his sister Nancy Wheeler. Will Byers and his brother Johnathan Byers, who was dating Nancy. But Nancy was also Steves ex but they somehow get along really well?. Jane Hopper, who was will and Jonathans step sister, and she was dating Mike.

You sat on the edge of the pool next to Max watching Dustin and Mike battle it out with pool noodles.

"It's crazy to think all of you have grown up together" You comment.

Max turned to you, a small smile on her lips as she looked at you over the top of her red sunglasses. "Everyone always says that" She laughed. "They're the siblings I never had, and although they are all a huge pain in my ass I'm glad I became friends with them, trauma and all"

"Were you at the mall too? With the fire and all that?" you asked quietly.

"Uh yeah, most of us were actually" She seemed like she wanted to say more but closed her mouth. Forcing a tight lipped smile while she looked at me.

"That must have been scary, I can only imagine... But you don't have to talk about it, I get it, I'm sorry for prying" Instantly panicking that you might have crossed a line with the small red head but she laughed instead.

"No don't worry about it, people always ask about it, it's kind of an unbelievable story"

you nodded, turning your attention back to everyone around the backyard. Mike and Jane were sat close together on one of the lounge chairs, deep in conversations while their hands were intertwined.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" You said turning back to Max.

"Yeah of course"

"Who's the guy in the band? The show tomorrow?" your brows furrow, squinting through the sun.

"Eddie?"

You shrug. "Robin hasn't told me his name, keeps referring to him as 'an old friend' for some reason"

Max snorted. "Eddie Munson, he's the dungeon master for the DnD club all the guys were in at school. Or at least he was before he graduated, that's how we all know him, cause of those nerds" She said gesturing to the boys in the pool.

"Eddie Munson" You repeated. His named felt smooth on your tongue, a name you get used to saying... It replayed in your mind over and over again like a spell.

The rest of the night was actually quite peaceful. You all sat around the little campfire and exchanged stories, some good, some cringe, relating to old high school moments, and newer ones from the younger kids. They all seemed so mature for their age. All of them seeming to know more than me, and maybe they had been through more than they let on. But they were all so sweet nonetheless. It was obvious how much they loved and cared for each other.

After the sun had long gone down, we all cramped into the basement to watch a movie, and after almost an hour of back and forth yelling on which movie was better and why you ended up falling asleep about ten minutes into the movie. When you woke up the movie had ended and static played on the tv, lighting up the crowded couch where they all were fast asleep and all tucked around each other. You snuck away to grab your camera and snapped a picture of them, it was too cute for you not to.

"You're such a creep" Robin whispered to you. Waking up from her spot on the other couch, stretching her arms over her head.

"They look cute, sue me" you said without looking at her. "I'm going to head up to bed" you said, attempting to speak through your yawn.

Heading for the stairs you turned back to robin before leaving "Robin?" You said quietly.

"mhmm?"

"I really like your friends. I can see why you keep them around, I've never seen you so happy"

She blushed, the pink still prominent enough in the white glow of the tv. "Thanks... They really like you as well, they can't believe I found another cool friend honestly" She looked at them with fondness in her eyes.

"Goodnight Robby"

You happily tucked yourself into your bed for the week, sinking into the lavish pillows surrounding you.

You woke up the next morning around nine thirty, stretching out your arms and legs. After a few extra minutes of staring at the ceiling you finally got up and creeped into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and peaking into Robins room to see if she was awake yet. She wasn't.

You grabbed a pair of fuzzy socks and tugged them on before quietly making your way downstairs.

Feeling your shoulders relax when you realized you were probably the only one awake right now. You take your time snooping around the kitchen until you eventually found everything you needed to make coffee. You laughed to yourself knowing Robin would curse you for using instant coffee instead of 'the real stuff' considering you worked at a coffee shop. But something about instant coffee just hit perfectly in the morning.

Holding your mug of coffee to your chest you walked over to the large sliding doors to the backyard. Admiring the sun slowly filtering through the trees, bearing down a comfortable warmth before the heat of the afternoon was sure to hit.

You don't know when, or how long Steve had been in the kitchen but when he placed his own mug down on the counter; the ceramic noise of the cup meeting marble startled you and you flinched slightly, your coffee swirling in your mug threatening to spill more than the few splashes that hit your shirt.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" Steve chuckled, his voice low and still groggy. from sleep. Hair a mess of a mop on the top of his head, yet it had somehow gained volume. "You're up early" He said while beginning to fix himself a cup of coffee.

"This is actually pretty late for me, I'm used to getting up so early for work" You pout. "This is the first time I've had more than two days off in a row"

"Really?" Steve said walking over to stand next to you. "How come you work so much?"

"I'm too nice to say no" you sigh, looking down into your coffee cup.

Taking a sip of his own, he nodded with a silent agreement. "That's like me and those little shits asleep downstairs. The amount of times I've considered moving back here just for them"

"You really are quite the babysitter aren't you? Robin makes jokes about it all the time, but it's different seeing you actually with them" you joke, bumping your shoulder into his.

Quiet footsteps from the basement stairs were heard behind you, both you and Steve turning to see who was creeping up the steps. It was Max with her two braids a little messy, a few strands coming untucked. "Oh thank god someone else is awake" She breathed while walking into the kitchen.

"I tried to stay down there but it's so boring when none of them are awake, and Dustins snoring was driving me crazy" Rolling her eyes she began searching through Steves cupboards, and drawers. The two of you continue to watch as she shifted around the kitchen, looking for whatever it was she was looking for. After a few minutes, she had laid out a bunch of bowls and other cooking utensils.

With a huff she leaned with both hands agaisnt the counter and looked up at Steve. "Steve do you have stuff to make pancakes?"

"Obviously" Steve said running a hand through his hair. "Of course I have stuff for pancakes" he scoffed while joining her on the other side of the counter.

As the smell of pancakes, syrup and bacon, filled the air, more and more of the gang slowly began to filter in and out of the kitchen. Grabbing a serving of pancakes and sitting around the kitchen and outside in the backyard to enjoy the morning warmth before it got too hot. You settled with three pancakes, adding sliced bananas on top and drowned them in syrup. "Max these are incredible" You say after swallowing a sticky mouthful of pancake and banana.

"Hey she didn't do all of the work!" Steve yelled over the sound of the kitchen sink, elbows deep in soapy water.

After a day of laying in the sun by the pool, and swimming until your arms hurt it was time to start getting ready for the show tonight. Most of the gang had gone home to get ready which left you alone sat on the floor surrounded by every item of clothing you had brought. You pouted at your choices, none of them seeming to satisfy you. With a groan you leaned back until you were laying on the floor.

"Somehow I always find you on the floor" Robin said from the door. "What's your dilemma this time" She said coming to join you on the floor

"I don't know what to wear" you grumbled, throwing an arm over your eyes.

"Just like, wear something all black, it's a pretty metal band, and a dingy bar so you don't have to try so hard to fit in"

Leaning up onto my elbows you surveyed your options once more. "Do I look like I wear all black?" you say gesturing to the colourful and mismatched pile of clothing.

Robin rolled her eyes. Leaning forward onto her knees she rummaged through the clothes, mumbling to herself as she went along.

"Here" She said shoving a full outfit into your hands. "Go put it on" She poked at your sides until you were laughing and helped you up off the floor. Shoving you towards to bathroom to get dressed.

It was the Metallica shirt that usually you wore exclusively for sleeping. A pair of black shorts, with rainbow striped socks and your converse. It was a simple outfit, and you were kind of annoyed you didn't consider it in the first place. "Perfect!" Robin said jumping up and down while clapping her hands. "You look so cute"

You blush, avoiding her gaze. "You said it was a metal band?"

"Yeah, super metal, very loud, I never know what they're singing half the time, but I'm there to support" She said shrugging, jumping a few times while buttoning up her jeans.

Going with the theme of black, you did some messy black eyeliner, smudging it out around the edges to give it a more 'alternative' vibe, whatever that meant. but I smudged it out more. You added a lightly tinted lipgloss giving your lips a perfect cherry pink color.

The hideout was about an hour away from the centre of Hawkins, the bar stationed at the very edge of the town in an almost deserted area with only a few other buildings around it. The neon sign outside of the door flickered, half of it burnt out but still trying illuminated the large bald man who sat on a stool right next to the door, probably there to card minors, but by the looks of him he probably let most of them in.

Once inside the bar was exactly what you would picture any old dingy bar to look like. Wonky wooden floors that were abused by the heavy footed men who spilled their drinks after having one too many, or knocking over the tall bar tables in some sort of petty fight they wouldn't remember in fifteen minutes. The lights low, so only the few yellow wall lights filled the room with a faint glow. A couple of red faux leather booths across the left side of the bar, closest to the bathrooms that you could only imagine smelled like that weird portapotty chemical smell.

You scrunched your nose at the thought. Most of the gang ran over to grab seats in the booths while Robin lead you to the bar.

"What can I get for you two ladies?" the bar tender asked. He was tall and thick with muscle. Covered in tattoos, and some of them definitely looked gang related, but you didn't let your eyes linger on them very long.

"Could I get a vodka and coke?" Robin asked, her fingers tapping anxiously against the hardwood of the bar top.

The bartender nodded and then looked at you. "Just a sprite would be great" I said smiling. "Also thank you"

His lips lifted ever so slightly into a small smile as he went about making our drinks. You smile to yourself, feeling accomplished from making the mean tough man smile.

"You're not drinking?" Robin asks with a raised brow, fingers still tapping away as she spoke.

"I can feel a headache brewing, don't want to make it worse by drinking tonight" it wasn't a lie, you decently did have a headache brewing, tension from the nerves of finally meeting the mystery man named Eddie. If you added alcohol into the mix tonight you'd be in for a rude awakening tomorrow.

Robin hummed, barely paying attention to what you said, her eyes searching every crevice of the bar.

"Anxious about Vickie?"

Her eyes were wide, and she was so jittery she looked like a chihuahua. "No! Why would I be? Of course I'm not anxious" she said quickly, but folded even quicker.

"Well yes, a lot actually, she said she would be here, but what if she doesn't show?" She eagerly grabbed her drink the minute the bartender set them down. You give him another small smile before slapping down some cash for the drinks, and a couple into his tip jar.

"You talked to her on the phone today right?" Robin nodded, sipping her drink. "And she said she was coming, and that she was really excited to see you right?" You asked, repeating her words from earlier.

"Yeah she did"

"So then she'll be here Robin don't worry about it" you give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and she smiles, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"I'm sorry for freaking out about it so much"

"Don't apologize, that's what best friends are for, we sign up to listen to you freak out about the same thing a million times, s'just our job" you shrug.

She rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to say something witty probably but the uproar of the gang behind the two of you made her turn around. "Oh!" She yelled and quickly made her way over to the booths. Confused you follow and watched as she envelopes a tall man with long curly hair in a hug. You assume this was the 'Eddie', Max had told you about yesterday but you could only see the back of him.

Shyly sliding next to Robin, who now held him at arms length, you were finally able to see him.

My god was he beautiful. You don't know why Robin didn't tell you; You guess the whole being a lesbian thing it probably didn't even occur to her. His skin looked like porcelain, and his eyes were such chocolate brown you were sure they would make anyone who made eye contact with him melt. He was smiling while Robin babbled to him, words you couldn't even make out because you were so entranced by him. He had dimples, and deep lines that formed when he smiled around his eyes and mouth. His face so full of expression, giving you exactly the response you would want from whatever you told him. When his eyes flickered to yours it felt like time had stopped. He furrowed his brows, just slightly, clearly confused as to who you was, but there was something in his eyes you couldn't quite make out, but it made them sparkle.

"Oh! Let me finally introduce you two" Robin said turning towards you. Snapping you out of your thoughts you shook your head a little, plastering a smile on my face and reaching your hand out towards him.

"She's a she?" He said turning to robin. "I thought your roommate was a dude this entire time?"

"No you dingus, I've talked about her before, and she is very much a she, not a dude. Not my fault you gendered a nickname" She said rolling her eyes and returning to the gang behind you. Everyone clearly already having said their hellos, leaving us to get to know each other a little.

"Sorry about that" you blush.

He smiled at you, bringing his hand forward engulfing yours with his and shook it lightly. He repeated your name, and it sounded like heaven coming from his lips. You correct him, and give him your nick name which you prefer to be called but he ignores it, glancing down at your shirt.

"That's my shirt?" He said letting go of your hand to tug at the hem of the fabric.

"Huh?" you look down at his hand and then back up at him.

"This is mine, I thought I lost it, but you of all people have it?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"Oh Robin gave it to me, she didn't want to throw it out, so I took it" You say shyly, looking down at your feet. "I usually sleep in it, I don't listen to them so I feel bad if I wear it out"

"So you're wearing your pyjamas at a bar?" He teased.

You bit the inside of your cheek and smiled up at him. "I didn't pick out the outfit alright? I'm a lot more colourful than this" You say waving a hand up and down your body.

"I can tell" He said with a laugh. "Alright I gotta head to the stage, I hope you enjoy the show, even if you don't listen to stuff like this"

"I'm sure I will, break a leg up there" You say, giving him a small thumbs up. He crossed both his fingers on each hand in return.

When he made it to the stage you grabbed robin; maybe a little too aggressively as she almost spilled her drink all over the floor. "Why didn't you tell me he looked like that?" you spat, trying not to get the attention of the rest of the group.

"Huh?"

"Eddie!" you exclaim.

"What about Eddie?"

"Oh my god" You ran a hand over your face. "He looks like a fucking sex god Robin and you let me leave the house looking like this?"

"You look cute!" She argued.

"Maybe! Not cute enough for him" You say throwing your hands up in the air.

"Wait do you like Eddie?" she asks excitedly

"Well I don't know him, so I can't say yes to that, but his fucking face apparently has a way of making me have feelings that's for sure"

Robin snorted. "Oh my god I can't believe you're crushing on Eddie"

"Robin I swear to god, if you say anything to anyone I will spill so much lego on the floor of your room you will never be able to walk comfortably ever again"

"I never said I was going to say anything!" She said in defence. "But no, I won't say anything. He for sure thinks you're pretty though" she said into her glass.

"How would you know that?" you snort

"Because he's staring at you" she said smiling.

A panicked quick glance to your right to see that he in fact, really was staring at you. He seemed lost in thought, his drummer talking to him passionately, his hands flying, all while Eddies eyes stayed locked on you. Blushing, you ended up being the first one to break eye contact, but Eddies eyes didn't stray from you for very long.

About five minutes later Vickie finally showed up and ran full speed to Robin, hugging her so tightly while burying her head into Robins shoulder. They stood like that for a few minutes before finally breaking apart to give each other a cluster of kisses, laughing the whole time.

You smiled while you watched them, knowing Robin had nothing to worry about. Vickie is hopelessly in love with that woman.

More people filtered in and eventually people were standing shoulder to shoulder. Robin and Steve creating a protective amount of space around you, knowing know more about these types of crowds. Feeling very grateful to have them as friends who take such good care of you.

When Eddie emerged from the stage again he had removed his leather jacket. Now only a loose black tank top hung over his broad shoulders. His hair tugged half up into a bun to keep it out of his face. When he spoke into the mic I watched as his lips grazed the metal of it with each word.

"How ya doing Hawkins?" His voice echoed through the bar. People cheering and clapping at the sound of his voice.

"It's been a while, but I could never forget my favourite place" Another round of cheers. "Were gunna play a couple of our songs, but we wanna end it with the one that started it all, which is a cover of Metallicas Master of Puppets"

The gang excitedly screamed and clapped, encouraging him.

"Alright, that being said let's get this show fucking started" He almost growled those last few words before he and the rest of his band started jamming on their instruments. Grabbing your camera out of your bag, you snapped a couple pictures of Eddie. For the memories... Obviously.

They were insane. You couldn't really understand the words, and you could feel your headache grow, but being able to watch each of them individually and how much passion they put into their performance it was worth it.

Eddie looked like be belonged up there, like he was born to be on a stage, or at least the centre of attention. How could he not be with a face like that. His head bobbing along to the music as his fingers diligently worked up and down the neck of his guitar. His tongue jutting out over his top lip as he concentrated on the chords. His bangs were clinging to his forehead, sweat dripping down his face and onto his chest. The once loose fitting tank top now clung to his damp torso.

When he finally opened his eyes again he looked right at you but it felt like he was looking through you. It felt like your heart had stopped and time had stood still for the second time tonight. You could see Robin look at you out of the corner of your eye but refused to give her the satisfaction of looking back at her.

When the show finally ended, the entire gang was so hyped up and excited. Apparently Eddie and his band had been traveling a bit around the U.S doing small shows, and people seemed to really enjoy them!

We were all gathered around an old van at the side of the bar while the band came in and out, putting all their equipment in the back of the van. You scuffed the toe of your shoe off the ground while you waited with the rest of them. Robin and Vickie had been attached at the hip the minute Vickie entered the bar, so you drifted off to the side, afraid of bothering the rest of them.

When Eddie came out and the gang got loud again, all of them exchanging hugs, and 'welcome homes'. You leaned against the side of the van watching them, Unable to hide the smile seeing them have so much love for their friend. A heart grunt from the door next to you made you turn, one of the band guys struggling to carry something. His hand was slipping and made the weight off so you jogged over quickly to grab the other end of whatever it was that he was carrying. It looked like it was an amp.

"Thanks!" He smiled and huffed.

"I couldn't just stand there and watch you struggle" You said while straining to keep your end of the amp up high enough to lift up into the van. He let you shift your end in first, clearly noticing your slight struggle. You dusted off your hands on your shorts once the amp was successfully placed into the van.

"Thanks again" He said raising his hand up to you for a high five you smacked his hand, leaving the two of you with a stingy palm

"No problem"

"I'm Gareth by the way" he said introducing himself quickly before returning to the inside of the bar.

Going back to leaning against the van you crossed your arms over your chest, rubbing your arms and resting your hands on the tops of your shoulders, fighting off the small chill from the light breeze rolling by. Closing your eyes you leaned your forehead against the cool metal of the van, letting yourself relax into it slightly, the cold temperature soothing the dull ache behind your eyes.

"So how'd you like the show?"

Eddies voice startled your, your eyes snapping open with a small flinch.

He laughed and gave you a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" He said holding up his hands in defence.

"It's okay" you laughed. "But I liked it. It was cool seeing you up there, very wild" You said honestly.

"I'm not like that all the time"

"What a rockstar?"

"Well yeah, I'm just a big nerd, town freak, all that good stuff" He said shrugging with a small smile.

"Aren't we all?" You asked tilting your head to the side. "Probably why we all get along so well huh?" You nod towards the slowly dispersing group of friends.

He laughed, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, leaning back onto the balls of his feet, with his shoulders tucked up high near his ears. The loud bang of the doors of the van closing made the both of us jump.

"Good to go Ed" Gareth said giving him a thumbs up.

"Thanks man" Eddie said with a salute. He turned back to you quickly. "Where you staying? Steves?"

"Uh yeah"

"I'll drive you" He said pulling out his keys from his pocket.

"Oh no that's okay I came with- Wait where did she go" You looked around for Robin, spinning in a full circle. "She left with Vickie didn't she"

"About ten minutes ago, when you were helping Gareth with the amp"

"The sex better be worth it if she's abandoning me" You say with fake annoyance.

"Your chariot awakes m'lady" He said while dipping into a bow.

"Why thank you kind sir" You quip with a terrible fake British accent, accompanied by a clumsy curtsy. Eddie reached for your hand, grabbing it and leading you up to the passenger side of the van which you now realized was his. He opened the door and continued to hold your hand to help me up and into the seat. After closing your door he jogged around the front and quickly got into the drivers seat.

You clipped in your seatbelt, setting your bag on the floor by your feet. "Is it okay if I cross my legs?" You asked looking towards him.

"Yeah why wouldn't it be?" He said turning around, one hand placed on the back of your headrest as he reversed out of the parking spot. You could smell him like this, sweat, beer, and some sort of cologne you couldn't decipher.

"Didn't know if you were one of those car people" You joke while tucking your legs up and crossing them.

"You mean like Steve?" He said glancing at you.

"Exactly that"

"This van is probably older than me, it reeks of weed and cigarettes, you could pretty much do anything in here, I don't mind"

"I'll keep that in mind for when I have to pee" You tease. "I'll just pee my pants"

He scrunched his nose. "Okay maybe no pissing on my seats"

"Too late, I make no promises"

"You're funny. I like it"

"Oh, uh, thank you" You blush looking down at your hands, suddenly finding the nail polish on them very interesting.

"So, tell me about yourself"

You groan. "That's like the worst way to get to know someone!"

"How is that the worst way to get to know someone? It's such a simple question!" He argued.

"Oh it absolutely isn't! It's like the worst question they ask you at job interviews, I never know what they want to hear!"

He laughed loudly and you couldn't help but laugh with him. His head tilting back slightly. "Okay well what do you want me to know about you?"

"Oh fuck that seems even harder... Let me think about that for a moment" You said, and he let you. You sat in silence for a few minutes while you racked your brain for anything you thought was maybe interesting enough about yourself to tell him.

"I like taking pictures?" You say, catching a side glance at him.

"What do you like to take pictures of?" He asked without a beat, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel.

"Anything really, I journal them often"

"You journal them?"

"Yeah, I tape them into a notebook, with kind of like a diary entry about whatever I wanna write about, and then I'll say something about the pictures and then cover the page with stickers and doodles"

"Are you gunna put the pictures of me in there?"

Your heart squeezed. "Yeah I might" you admit "You gunna be jealous if I don't?"

"My heart would be absolutely crushed princess" He said while taking one hand off of the wheel to clutch at his heart.

Princess.

A small giggled bubbled in your chest, and a snort escaped amongst the laugh you let out.

"What a wonderful sound that is" he said with a dreamy sounding sigh.

"What is?"

"Your laugh" he said turning to glance at you.

#hellfiremunsonn #hellfiremunsonn stuckwithme #eddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson fic #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson x female reader

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devilat-thedoor · 1 year

Text

What Is and What Should Never Be Ch.2

A/N: So, I’m aiming to have the chapter released on thursday or friday nights, as long as nothing gets in the way(i.e. work, life, mental health). but as always, love you and i hope you enjoy🤍 P.S. This is all fictional, straight from my imagination. Please don’t take it too seriously💖

Word Count: 8.3k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Smut(none yet, but for future reference), Bossy/Possessive behavior. Reader Discretion Advised.

You’re just a daydream away. I wouldn’t know what to say if I had you. And I’ll keep you a daydream away, just watch from a safe place, so I never have to lose.

If looks could kill, Jake would’ve been on the floor with a chalk outline surrounding him. “What the fuck is your problem? Do you understand how embarrassing that was?” He sat on the edge of the desk, completely unbothered as he stared at you, “I’m a grown woman, Jake. If you have an issue, address me like an adult, don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking toddler.” You stood from your chair, releasing a frustrated breath, “Is this funny to you?”

He had a slight tilt to his lip, eyeing you with amusement, “Actually-.” The look you gave him made him bite his lips in, trying to straighten his face out, “No. No, you’re right… It’s not funny.” He was fighting to be serious but he lost when his grin came about in full force, showcasing his perfect teeth, “You’re kinda like a rabid chihuahua when you’re pissed.” He was cackling at you, and if it weren’t for how angry you were, you might have even found his laugh cute.

“This isn’t fucking worth it.” You turned around, ripping the office door open, and grabbed your bag from below the register, “I quit.” You didn’t bother to look back at him as you stepped around the counter and headed for the front door.

Jake was planted in the office doorway, “Learn to take a joke, peach.” He called out, still a hint of laughter in his voice, “C’mon, you’re not really gonna leave.” The amusement faded when he realized you weren’t stopping. Just as your hand landed on the door, he was coming after you, “Hey, Y/N, wait.”

You ignored him, pushing through the door, only to run face first into someone coming inside. Your bag slipped from your hand, hitting the ground, “Great… This day just keeps getting better.” Grumbling to yourself, you knelt down to pick the tote bag up, rubbing your hand over your nose. You were prepared for a verbal lashing from whoever you’d collided with, but to your surprise, you were greeted by Josh’s cheery voice.

“What the- Y/N? Where are you off to, speed racer?” He was chuckling until you looked up at him, “Shit, are you okay?” Right as the question left his mouth, you could feel the first drop roll over your top lip. You clamped a hand over the lower half of your face and tried to wiggle around Josh, but he grabbed your shoulders.

You mumbled into your palm, feeling the blood pool in your hand, “Josh, let me out before it drips on the floor.” Your second attempt to squeeze by him was stopped by not only him, but his twin as well.

Jake’s hand was on your waist, turning you away from Josh to face him, “Move your hand.” He was holding a fistful of napkins, trying to survey the damage, “Y/N, move your damn hand and let me see.” His assertive tone was overshadowed by Josh’s soft one.

“Hey, let me have a look.” His hand circled your wrist gently and you allowed him to pull it away from your face. Your eyes widened at the amount of blood covering your palm and Josh was quick to ease your panic, “It’s not even that bad, Y/N, promise.” He took a few of the napkins from his brother and held them against your nose, “Does it hurt at all?” You shook your head at him, “Okay, then it shouldn’t be broken…” His free hand went to the back of your neck, angling your head down, “Try not to swallow any blood, I’m gonna grab a towel or something.” He took your bag and pressed your hand to the napkin, prompting you to hold it as he scurried deeper into the store.

Jake was grabbing your opposite hand, wiping away the crimson stains, “You need to sit down, come on.” You wanted to rip away from him, but the way his palm flattened against your back had you trailing beside him as he led you back to the office. He sat you in the chair just as Josh came barrelling through the door, “Can I take this?” He placed a small trash bin between your feet and pointed to the bloody napkin in your hand. You nodded and he knelt in front of you, carefully moving your hand to peel the tissue away and drop it into the trash, “Josh, did you get a towel?” His eyes stayed trained on you as he asked the question.

“Yeah, here. I ran it under some water.” Josh handed the rag off to his brother, “Is it still bleeding?”

You allowed Jake to dab at your nose, “No, I think she’s done.” He continued to wipe at your face, his gaze on your mouth as he slowly dragged the wet cloth across your lip. He looked up, realizing his distraction, and caught your eyes on him, “Uhh, here…” He shoved the towel into your hand and stood up, “You should go to the bathroom and clean up.” He backed away, giving you the space to get up.

Shielding your face to hide whatever mess was there, you turned to Josh, “Where…is the bathroom at?”

“Oh. It’s- I’ll show you.” His eyes flicked to Jake’s before he ushered you out of the office and walked you towards the back of the store, “Jake didn’t show you where the bathroom was?” He led you into a small hallway, one door on each side and one at the end. You shook your head as he stopped in front of the door on the left, pushing it open, “It’s here, I’ll give you a minute.” You went through, closing it behind you. A defeated sigh left your mouth at the sight of yourself in the dirty mirror. You turned the faucet on, letting the water get hot, and rinsed the rag to scrub the drying blood from your face. Of all the things that could happen on your first day, it had to be this. Everything was a shit show and you couldn’t wait to just go home, bury yourself in a mountain of blankets and never step foot in this place again. You could get a job literally anywhere else and surely there were other record stores in the area…Or you could always just order your vinyls online. You ripped a paper towel from the roll and dried your face and hands before stepping out of the bathroom. Josh was still standing in the hallway, waiting for you to come out, “I’m really sorry, Y/N. You just collided right into my shoulder, I didn’t see you com-.”

“Josh, it’s fine. I’m fine, really. It was my fault.” You stalked out of the hallway, ready to grab your things and go.

You could hear his footsteps following behind you, “Why were you in such a rush? Were you leaving?”

Your bag was on the counter where Josh had dropped it to search for a towel and you grabbed it. There were a couple people in the store now and you locked eyes with Jake as he was talking with a customer a few feet away from you, “I just… This isn’t going to work out. Me working here, I mean.” You were talking quietly to avoid making a scene.

His eyes followed yours to his twin before coming back to you, “What did he do?” You shook your head and kept walking, finally making it out the door and onto the sidewalk. You took a deep breath, filling your lungs with the city air, and released it as you dug through the bag for your phone. Bellamy had dropped you off in the morning and took your car to work, so your only option was to walk home or call a lyft. You hadn’t noticed that Josh followed you outside until his hand was on your arm, turning you to face him, “If he did something, you have to tell me. I’ll deal with him. Just…don’t leave, don’t quit.”

“Josh, I don’t think your brother likes me very much.” You jammed the phone into your back pocket, “And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let anybody treat me like a child… It was nice to meet you.” You didn’t leave room for a response as you turned away, opting to walk home.

“Treat you like-? Y/N, can you just-.” You felt his hand curl around your wrist again, effectively stopping you with the soft grip, “Let’s go get lunch and talk about this. I’m sure we can resolve whatever issues there are.” His pleading eyes and the way his fingertips sent a wave of warmth up your arm and through your chest made it hard to tell him no.

You ran a hand through your hair and looked past Josh, catching Jake watching the two of you through the storefront window. You looked away quickly, “There’s nothing to talk about. I just want to go home and pretend this day never happened.” You couldn’t help the whine that escaped your mouth, causing his lip to twitch into a small smirk.

He finally dropped your wrist, shoving his hands into his pockets, “You like fries? The Melt has great fries, c’mon.” He walked by you, not even bothering to check if you were coming. You gave in, following him to his car. He was already pulling the passenger door open for you as he fished his keys from his pocket.

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“Their burgers are good too.” Josh was seated across from you, looking over the menu in his hands. You couldn’t see his face behind it, just the wild curls poking out from above it.

You sipped on the iced tea in front of you, looking down at your own menu, “You had me sold on fries, honestly. I think I’m just gonna get an order of the garlic parmesan.” The waitress was coming back to your table to take your orders with a polite smile.

Josh closed his menu, and picked yours up to hand them over to her, “Are you sure that’s all you want?” You nodded at him as he looked up at the young girl, “She’s just gonna have the garlic parm fries and I am gonna do the sweet potato fries and a patty melt.” She was writing the order down in her notepad, “Actually, make that two patty melts, but can you box one up to go?” The girl replied with a quiet ‘sure thing’ before departing. His eyes fell on you and you tried to look anywhere else, “Will you tell me what happened?” You finally looked at him, catching his big brown eyes that he strategically paired with his dazzling smile.

“I don’t even know what happened, Josh.” You were stirring the straw around in your cup, listening to the ice clink against the glass, “He was in the office and a customer came in, so I did what I thought I was supposed to do and helped the guy… Some girl, Olivia, was watching the whole time. I don’t know when she disappeared, but she was there.”

He was resting his head on his fist, listening to you, “Yeah, Jake texted me and told me she wanted back on the schedule… She’s sweet, but kind of a nightmare.” He waved his hand dismissively and told you to continue.

You couldn’t help the sarcasm lacing your voice, “She’s a real sweetheart.” You tucked your hands into your lap, to stop them from touching random things on the table, “So, I have this dude ready to buy two albums and the next thing I know, Jake is yelling at me to go into the office. He accused me of flirting with the customer and then sent me off for a fucking timeout… It was humiliating.” You shook your head as you thought back on it, “And then he just laughed about it, like it was some kind of game to him. I don’t know what I did to make him hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Y/N. Jake’s just…He’s got a kind of…sardonic sense of humor, I guess?” He shrugged, trying to find the right way to describe his twin, “I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you.”

Jake’s mocking tone floated through your brain. Learn to take a joke, peach. But the way he was staring daggers at you and your customer didn’t seem like a joke. “If that’s how every shift with him is gonna be, I can’t do it. I’m sorry, I just-.” You were interrupted by the waitress bringing your food out. She placed the dishes on the table and told Josh his to-go order would be ready in 15 minutes before she left again.

He was already shoving a few fries into his mouth, “It’s not. It won’t be, just trust me.” He mumbled around the hot food, blowing steam through his lips.

You watched as he went in for a couple more before swallowing what was already in his mouth, “I don’t know, Josh…”

He dropped the fries, wiping his fingers with a napkin before folding his hands in front of his face, “Take a day to think about it. If you really want to quit, I won’t hold it against you…but if you think you can stomach another try, come in wednesday and you’ll have me and only me. Jake won’t be around, it’s his day off.” His bright grin made it impossible to say no, so you compromised.

“Okay. I’ll think about it.” You tossed a fry into your mouth.

“Brilliant!” Satisfied with your answer, he picked his sandwich up and chomped into it with a delighted hum, his smile never fading.

You sat and ate, carrying on small conversation for a bit. Josh was incredibly open about sharing his life and you’d learned a lot about him. His parents opened the record store when he and Jake were young and passed it onto the twins when they were 22 and moved back to their home state. Now, almost four years later, they’re turning 26 and still running their family business successfully. “Our birthday is actually coming up in a few weeks.” The waitress came out with the to-go order and the check, placing them in front of Josh.

“How much was mine?” You pulled your wallet out as he placed his card on the tray and handed it back to the girl.

He swatted his hand at you, “Don’t worry about it. It’s the least I could do after giving you a bloody nose.” He pulled his lip between his teeth, “And a pretty girl should never have to pay for her meal…or is it drinks?” He scratched his chin, brows drawn together in thought, and the sight made you giggle.

“The bloody nose was one hundred percent my fault, but thank you, Josh.” The young girl came back, giving Josh his card and receipt as she muttered a ‘have a good day.’ and moved on to her next table.

He picked up the pen, writing a tip and scribbling down his signature, “You ready to go?” He stood up and you followed him through the restaurant and out the door, “I’ll drop you at your car, I gotta run Jake his lunch anyways.” He pulled the passenger door open, waiting until you slid into the seat to close it.

The short drive back was quiet, only the dull melody from the radio filling the air. When Josh parked his car along the curb you hopped out, “Thanks, again, for lunch, hun.” You offered a wave before starting down the sidewalk.

He stepped out as well, “Where’s your car?”

“Bellamy has it, I’m gonna walk.” Before he could open his mouth to protest, you added, “It’ll give some extra time to think over my decision.” You continued walking, only glancing back after a minute or so to see him leaning on the hood of his car, watching you go. He flashed a smile so bright, you could see it from a mile away, and waved before heading into the store.

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Your best friend was yelling over the blender as it pulverized the frozen fruit, “Don’t go back. That guy sounds like an asshole, Y/N.” She hit a button, effectively ceasing the noise.

“He is an asshole… Or was anyways.” You sat on the countertop beside the blender, watching her attempt to make strawberry daiquiris, “Josh practically begged me to stay though and he’s so freaking cool, Bell, like so different from his brother.” You plucked the fraying threads on your jeans, “It was kind of weird, though… When my nose started bleeding, Jake was a completely different person, like…sweet, almost?” Your mind wandered to the way he was looking at you as he carefully wiped at your lips.

“So which one is it? Which one do you wanna sleep with, babe? Josh or Jake?” Bellamy pursed her lips, waiting for an answer, “I’m serious, Y/N. I can see it all over your face.”

You hopped down from the counter, “I don’t want to sleep- I just met them, Bellamy.” She wasn’t buying it and frankly, you weren’t sure you were buying it yourself, “I just think that I could be really good at this job and that I might actually enjoy it. I don’t want to go back to making shit tips, waiting tables.” You pulled the bottle of rum from the cabinet and handed it to her, “But I need to get along with both of them if I want to stay there and the only way to do that is to try, B.”

She poured the liquor into the blender, measuring with her heart, “I hear you, sweet pea, I do.” Replacing the lid, she put the bottle on the counter and turned to face you, “I just don’t want to see you get caught up in a messy situation…especially with brothers.”

“There’s no way for things to get messy because there’s nothing to get caught up in. Promise.” You reached over and clicked the button on the machine to avoid any response she might’ve had.

Once you settled into bed for the night, you really began to weigh the pros and cons of keeping the job. Pros: Music was something you loved, deeply, and to be able to work in a place where you could talk about it all day was a dream in itself. There was also Josh. He was fun and kind and you found yourself happy to be near him, like he was someone you could truly vibe with. And Jake… He seemed cool enough, even laughed at your jokes and he has great taste in music. But the cons? You don’t know which version of Jake you would get. The arrogant dickhead or the almost sweet guy that was quick to take care of your nosebleed today? As you pondered your list, your phone pinged with a text.

Unknown 10:43pm: sorry about today. don’t quit.

Josh? He must’ve gotten your number off of the application. You were about to text back and let him know that you intended on staying when another text came through.

Unknown 10:47: come in tomorrow at noon, peach.

Peach? Jake…

You locked your phone and plugged it in, leaving it face down on the nightstand. Why did he text you? Why couldn’t he just have apologized this morning? You left the texts on read, clicking your lamp off, and pulled the comforter up to your shoulders. Now you were faced with a new decision to make; Face Jake tomorrow or avoid him and go in with Josh on wednesday. Too tired to forge another list of pros and cons, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to fall asleep.

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Tuesday 11:15am

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror, securing your second dutch braid with a tiny rubberband. You tried to convince yourself all morning that it was better to just go in on wednesday, that working with Josh would be fun and you wouldn’t have to worry about every little thing you might be doing wrong. Yet here you were, checking your appearance one last time before inevitably starting the 20 minute walk to Highway Tunes, complying with Jake’s request again.

Pushing through the front door with a heavy sigh, you looked around for him, but he wasn’t in sight. “Hey there! Welcome to Highway Tunes!” The voice startled you, causing you to jump and look at the man it came from, “Is there anything I can help you with today?” Your eyes wandered up to his face. He was tall, thick dark hair, cascading in waves around his face and past his shoulders. His smile was sort of goofy, but in a beautiful way, outlined by full, pouty lips.

You opened your mouth to answer, but Jake’s voice came first, “Sam, leave the customers alone, you don’t work here.” Your view of him was obstructed by the tall boy standing in front of you, “You need to go back to class, I don’t have time for this today.”

Just then, the boy, Sam, stepped aside to face him, “My next class doesn’t start until 1.” Jake’s eyes fell on you as the other boy continued, “And you were busy, so excuse me for trying to help.” He turned back to you with an apologetic shrug, “Sorry, about that… He’s always a grump. Where were we?”

“I’m actually here to see the grump.” You pointed to where he was standing, still watching you, and scrunched your nose at the boy, “He’s my boss.”

“Ahh. You’re the new hire?” He glanced at Jake and back to you, looking you up and down, “No wonder he’s on edge today… I haven’t seen him this bad in a while.” He pulled his lip between his teeth to stifle a laugh, and before you could ask what he meant, Jake was at his side, pushing him towards the door.

“Time to go, Sammy.” You watched Sam struggle against him, trying to shout in protest, “Come back on Josh’s shift, later.” He shoved the boy out the door and pulled it shut, waiting for him to walk away before turning to you, “He’s a fucking nuisance. I’m sorry.”

He walked by you, going towards the back of the store, “I don’t know… I thought he was kinda cute.” You kept a playful tone, making it obvious that you were joking, but you saw Jake visibly tense up, “Kidding…ha ha. You’re supposed to laugh.” When he didn’t say anything, you were sure you’d made a mistake coming in, “Or you can yell at me and accuse me of flirting again…Goodbye.” You turned away, heading for the door just like the day prior.

“Wait…” You didn’t bother to stop or even look back at him, until he yelled, “Goddammit, would you stop doing that!” When you finally turned back to him, he was only a few feet from you, clenching his jaw, “Do you get enjoyment out of ignoring me?”

“Ignoring you?” A humorless laugh fell from your lips, “Why am I here, Jake? Did you tell me to come down here just so you could fucking berate me again?” You were glaring at him, waiting for a response, but he remained silent, staring directly back at you, “Well, if you have nothing to say then-.”

He stepped forward, his hand curling around your wrist before you could walk away again, “Y/N, just- I’m sorry, okay?” You took note of how gentle his grip was as the door chimed. He looked over your shoulder to whoever had come in before dropping your wrist, “Go wait- Can you wait in the office? Please?” He went to greet the customer and you went in the opposite direction. You stood behind the counter, watching Jake lead the older woman around the store with a polite smile. There was something admirable about the way he carried himself, the confidence he displayed. He moved like he knew you were watching him; always angling himself so you could see his face, without ever looking at you. He would run his fingertips over his lips or his chin with a subtle smirk, drawing attention to his hands and mouth. You found yourself staring, keeping up with his every move, until he was coming towards you. Standing up straight, you attempted to look distracted, but his face said he knew you were eyeing him, “Alright, Ms Grace, I’m gonna have Y/N check you out while I go put that order in for you, okay?” Jake came around the counter to stand behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders, “Can you do that for me, peach?”

Turning your head slightly, you caught his eyes and gave a nod, “Y-yeah… No problem.” Your voice was barely a whisper as you tried to focus on anything other than the electric current his touch sent through your body. You directed your attention to the woman, probably in her 60s, “Hi, did you find everything you were looking for today?” Jake dropped his hands with a smile and went into the office.

“For the most part, yes.” She placed her findings on the counter and slid them over to you, “Everything except Frank Sinatra.” She shook her head as you picked up the vinyls and began ringing them up; Unforgettable by Nat “King'' Cole and I Put a Spell On You by Nina Simone, “I can’t believe they sold out of Sinatra…” She slapped her palm on the countertop.

“Oh… Ms Grace, is it?” You waited for her to confirm, “Well, Ms Grace, you still got some really great picks today. I adore Nina Simone, but I also know how great Ol’ Blue Eyes sounds on vinyl.” She nodded her head, impressed with your sentiment, “Jake will get your order put in and I’m sure it’ll be here by Friday with our regular shipment.” Putting on the sweetest smile you could, you gave her the total, “For these two, it’s gonna be $64.97 today, hun.”

She placed her bulky purse on the counter, digging through it, “You tell Jacob and Joshua to call me the minute my order comes in, okay, honey?” The woman retrieved her wallet, pulling a few bills from it, and handed them over.

You accepted them, placing them in the drawer and handing back her change, “Of course, Ms Grace. I will pass the message along.” You tucked her two records into a bag and gave it to her, “You have a great day!”

“Oh you too, honey!” She took the bag from your hand and slung her purse over her shoulder, “Good thing they replaced that snotty blonde girl… I like you a lot better.” She waved her hand with a scoff as she turned to leave.

You watched her go, chuckling to yourself when you felt Jake standing behind you, “Grace likes you, now you have to stay.” He was so close, you could smell the smoky scent of his cologne, “She’s been telling us to get rid of Liv since she started.”

“She might be onto something…” You shuffled away from him, moving to the opposite side of the counter to look at him face to face, “Give me a reason to stay. I need more than just the approval of one of your regulars.” You watched his lip curl into the familiar smirk.

He was too relaxed, leaning on his elbows, “What does everyone have against Liv? She’s my gold star, always bringing in the sales.” He laughed as you rolled your eyes at him, “Okay, alright, peach… You’re good here. Not even two hours into your first shift and you managed to sell not just one, but two albums.” You crossed your arms over your chest, silently telling him you needed more, “That kid yesterday was fucking smitten with you, kept saying how much of a help you were.” You could see the distaste in his expression over the boy’s interest in you, “and I heard you talking to Grace. You know music. More than anybody else we’ve ever hired. I can tell it’s something you’re passionate about and we need more of that here.” Your face broke into a grin at his admission and now he was rolling his eyes, “Are you gonna stay or not?”

“I might consider it if you set me up with that cute guy that was here when I came in.” You waited to see how he would react. Maybe he would shrug your comment off or maybe he would tense up again, maybe get angry, “He had a pretty smile.”

He pushed his tongue into his cheek, forcing his shoulders to relax, “You gonna let both of my brother’s take you out to lunch, peach?” He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away, heading towards the back of the store, “When do I get my turn, huh?” He vanished into the back hallway, going through the door parallel to the bathroom.

You were dumbfounded, partially from his inquiry, but also from finding out the tall boy was he and Josh’s brother. You toed down the hallway, leaning on the door frame, “How many brother’s do you have?” He didn’t answer, just continued moving through the room. There were boxes scattered around the floor and tucked into shelves. It must’ve been storage, where they kept their inventory and overstock, “Okay…well you should know that jealousy isn’t a good look on you.” You cocked an eyebrow as he finally looked at you, “And if you want a ‘turn’ all you have to do is ask.” His mouth hung open as you turned to leave, smiling to yourself. You called from the end of the hallway, “Send me my schedule. I know you have my number.” As you made it back to the front of the store, you heard him call out a ‘Bye, peach.’ before you pushed through the door to head back home.

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The next few weeks ran smoothly. You worked with Josh a lot and those shifts were always fun. He made the environment comfortable, but shifts with Jake were also fun in their own way. Josh was the type to turn a slow, boring day into a childish game of hide and seek. You would be standing at the counter, mindlessly scrolling on your phone, only to get a ‘come find me’ text from him. You’d spend the next 10 minutes running around the store, checking all the nooks and crannies you could find, searching for him. And every time, you would give up and text him back with some excuse that would force him out of his hiding spot, calling you a sore loser. He was all flirty comments and goofy jokes all the time, sure to draw giggles from you whenever he opened his mouth and you absolutely adored it.

Working with Jake was completely different. There were no games, at least not the kind Josh would come up with. It was a back and forth match of snide comments, or sarcastic remarks that would have you two glaring at each other one second, just to turn your backs and smile the next. Sometimes he’d display an odd, almost possessive nature; He never pulled you away from a customer like the first day you’d worked, but with some customers, specifically the younger men, you would always catch him lingering close by or keeping his eyes on you from wherever he was. When you finally asked him why he did it, he’d just played it off like he had no idea what you meant.

You got to meet the other employees as well. There was Charlie, an older man in his late 40s. He’d worked for the boy's parents for over a decade and stayed on after they’d handed the store down. He only works a few days a week, but he’s the one Jake and Josh rely on to run things when neither of them can open or close up. Then there was Nate, a young, high school kid who picked up a shift or two during the week, after school. And, of course, Olivia. Or Liv, as Jake called her. His gold star. God, Josh was right when he said she was a nightmare. You didn’t work with her very much, but the shifts you did share with her could never go by quick enough. It was always you, her and Jake, and she wasn’t exactly subtle in the way she threw herself at him. Sometimes he would indulge her, grasping her hips to move around her or brushing up against her to grab a record that she ‘just couldn’t reach.’ Everytime, it made you irrationally angry and you didn’t know why. But after this Friday shift, you were happy to have the weekend off..now you wouldn’t have to see her until Monday night. You grabbed your bag from its place, below the register, and clocked out, “Josh, I’m heading out! See you next week, hun.” You called out to him, unsure of where he may have been.

“Shit…Y/N, wait!” He came flying out of the back, tripping over his own feet. You let out a soft laugh as he bounded up to you, “Hey.”

“Hey…”

He stood up straight, pulling at a few of his curls, “Do you- Uhh…what are you doing tonight?” He left no room for a response as he kept talking, “My birthday- or, our birthday, me and Jakey… It’s tomorrow, that’s why we’re closed.” He was rambling and you tried to stifle your smile at his flustered appearance, “We were gonna go out to celebrate tonight. Did you wanna-? Are you doing anything?” He had a hopeful look in his eyes and you felt guilty for having to turn him down.

“Josh, I’m sorry… This and the first weekend me and Bellamy have had off together since we moved here.” You placed a hand on his shoulder with an apologetic frown, “We made plans to go out and explore the bar life in the area.” You felt his shoulders drop in defeat and pulled your hand back, “I’ll make it up to you… I’ll bake you both a cake or something. I am really sorry.”

“Naah, it’s okay. I should’ve mentioned something earlier.” His smile returned, bright as ever, “Have fun tonight, and I’m gonna hold you to that cake.” He was already heading back to the storage room, “I like vanilla, Jake likes chocolate. Figure it out!” You watched him dramatically wave his hand before disappearing through the doorway.

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“Do my tits look good?” Bellamy was standing on the curb, using a random car window to check her reflection.

You pulled your dress down to ensure your ass wasn’t hanging out as you moved to look at her, “They look as perfect as they did the last time you asked, B.” You turned your back to her, looking up at the neon sign that illuminated the bar entrance, Blondie’s Bar, “I swear to god, if this one is filled with frat boys too, I’m calling it a night and going home.” It was ticking closer to midnight and your first San Francisco bar crawl was turning out to be a let down. Of the four bars you’d already been to, the first was filled with snobs, drinking wine and while classical music played quietly in the background. You didn’t even stay for a single drink, Bellamy was pulling you back out of the door before it had a chance to shut behind you. The other three were places the two of you would normally find a good time at, but after a shot or two, the testosterone ridden college jocks would become insufferable at their attempts to flirt. You couldn’t make your disinterest more obvious to them. After paying the cover and walking into the fifth bar, you weren’t feeling very hopeful.

Bellamy looped her arm with yours as you went through the door, “It doesn’t seem terrible.” The space wasn’t very large, but it was especially packed for a Friday night and there was live music, “Oooh, and I think I see potential.” You tried to follow her gaze, but there were too many people to tell who she was looking at.

“Alright, let’s get a drink before you run off to charm some poor boy.” You dragged her to the bar as you both laughed. The bartender greeted you with a nod, “Hi, we’ll take two shots of Jameson and- What do you want, Bell?”

She leaned in close, talking loudly to the bartender, “I want a long island!”

Her nose was tinted red, telling you she was decently buzzed, “Okay. Two shots of Jameson, a long island and I’ll have a whisky ginger, please!” He poured the shots, sliding them over to you, and went about making your drinks.

Bellamy threw her shot back and picked her glass up from the bar top, “I’m gonna try to find that guy I saw when we came in.” She was looking around the space, “Are you gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, B. I don’t need a babysitter.” You took your own shot and placed the tiny glass beside hers, “Go do your thing, babe!” She gave you a hard peck on the cheek before slinking off into the crowd. Part of you wanted to do the same thing; run off to find some cute guy that you could take home… But at the same time, you had no interest in hooking up with a random guy. Back home you had a regular no-strings-attached hookup that you could call to scratch that itch, but here, you didn’t know anybody. And you didn’t give yourself the time to meet new people when all you did was go to work and go home. You ordered another shot as you sat by yourself, occasionally looking around for your friend. After finishing your whisky ginger, you got one more shot or Jameson and stood to go and find her. It had been about a half hour since she’d gone on her search. Weaving through the crowd of people, you started to feel the effects of the liquor, but you pushed through and headed into the bathroom to pee.

When you reemerged, Bellamy was in your face, gushing about the guy she’d seen, “Babe, I found him! He’s so fucking hot. Fuck, I don’t remember his name…” She bit her lip in thought for a moment before shaking her head, “Doesn’t matter. I’ll ask him again later. But he wants to take me back to his apartment.” She let out a squeal loud enough that you could hear it over the band playing on the small stage, “Do you think you can get home by yourself?”

“Wait, you’re leaving? Bellamy, what if this guy is like a murderer?” You were staring at her, trying to focus through the blurring in your vision.

“He studies photography in college, I doubt he’s a murderer, Y/N.” She was practically pleading for your approval with her large, puppy eyes.

You gave it thought before relenting, “I want your location before you even leave this bar.” She pulled her phone out, clicking a few times, and sent your live link for her location. “Thank you. Be safe, Bell. I love you.”

She wrapped her arms around you in a suffocating hug, “I love you more, sweet pea. Let me know when you get home, okay?” You watched her vanish into the sea of bodies again and headed back to the bar to close your tab out.

You climbed onto a stool, waiting for the bartender to finish the flirty conversation he was having with the red headed girl at the opposite end of the bar, when a deep voice startled you, “Funny seeing you here, peach.” You looked up to see Jake sliding onto the stool next to you, “Josh told me you weren’t coming out tonight.”

“Me and Bellamy were looking for a good place to get drinks…ended up here.” You were playing with the straw in your empty glass, poking at the melting ice, “I didn’t know this is where you guys would be.”

“Ah. The infamous Bellamy. Do I finally get to meet her?” He looked around you, trying to figure out which one of the women could be your best friend.

The bartender came over to you now, asking if you wanted a refill. You politely declined and asked him to close you out., “She left already, unfortunately. Some other time, I guess.” You hopped down from the stool and pulled your dress down over your thighs just as the man laid your card on the bartop, “I think I’m heading out too…I’ll see you Monday, boss.” You flashed him a smile as you turned away and you tripped on air, sending yourself towards the floor.

Jake reached out, hooking an arm around your waist to catch you, “You’re not driving are you?” You could hear the concern in his voice as you shook your head, “Well how are you getting home, Y/N?” He made sure you were steady on your feet before letting his arm drop.

You put your palm over your forehead, squinting through the lights, as you started to realize how much you’d had to drink, “Uhhh…Walking. I’m gonna walk. It’s only a few blocks, I think.” You opened the small bag you were carrying to retrieve your phone, “Shit. Bellamy has the house keys.” You groaned out loud, fanning your face as the room started to tilt and shift, “Is it hot in here? I’m sweating. Are you hot?”

“Let’s get some fresh air, yeah?” He was leading you through the bar quickly, “How much did you drink, Y/N?” His tone was almost scolding, mirroring how your dad might have talked to you after doing something you shouldn’t have, “Y/N, how much?”

The cool air hit your face as you waved dismissively at him, “I like it better when you call me peach.” You could hear yourself slurring the words, “Can you just call me peach, Jake? I like how it sounds coming from these lips.” You poked at his mouth with your index finger. He caught your wrist to stop your prodding but he didn’t pull your hand away from his lips, just kept his eyes locked on your own. That same electric current you felt when he had his hands on your shoulders or every time his fingers would graze your skin in passing, it was there, sparking through your veins and lighting your nerve endings on fire. You leaned into him, so close that you could feel his breath against your face. “I have to go home…” Your voice was a meek whisper as you pulled your arm from his grasp and stepped away.

You barely stumbled to the curb before he was at your side again, “You can’t walk home, peach. Let me get you a lyft or something.” He dug his phone from his pocket, opening up the ride app, while keeping a hand on your waist. “Okay. Ride’s gonna be here in two minutes, you’ll have to tell ‘em your address.” You nodded as you began to sway and your head dropped to his shoulder, “Hey… Hey, are you fucking sleeping? Peach?… Goddammit.”

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The sound of a door closing echoed in your head, forcing your eyes to open. Your hands came up immediately, digging the heels of your palms into the sockets in an attempt to combat the blinding sunlight. Once they were accustomed to the brightness, your eyes wandered, taking in your surroundings. It was a room you didn’t recognize. Did you go home with someone? A feeling of dread started to consume you as you realized the clothes on your body weren’t yours. You sat up in the bed, searching for any indication of who’s bedroom you were in, when a soft knock on the door stole your attention. You stayed silent, unsure if you wanted to know who was on the other side.

“Y/N, are you up?” The voice had you tossing the duvet from your body and clambering out of the bed. You misjudged how far down the floor was, causing you to tumble as you rushed to swing the door open, “Finally… Here.” Jake placed a bottle of water in one hand and a paper coffee cup in the other before turning away, “Water first, then coffee, peach.” You watched him disappear through a doorway as you stared after him in disbelief.

When he didn’t come back after a minute, you placed the drinks on the closest table and followed him. Turning into the room he’d gone into, you found that it was a kitchen and Jake was sitting at the breakfast nook in the corner, flipping through a stack of papers. You studied him for a few silent moments, trying to work up the nerve to ask him a difficult question, “Umm. Jake…” His eyes flicked to you briefly before setting back on the paper. When you didn’t say anything he dropped his pen and fully faced you. Your gaze dropped to your hands as they tugged at the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing.

“I slept on the couch, peach. Nothing happened.” He picked his coffee up, taking a long chug, “Did you drink that water?”

You took a few steps towards him, “How did I end up here?”

He motioned for you to take the seat across from him. Once you sat down, he stood up and left the room, returning a few seconds later with the water bottle and the coffee cup, “Drink.” He pushed the water in front of you, “At least half.” You sat in a glaring match with him until you finally broke and twisted the cap off, chugging it down, “Good job, peach.” He picked the pen up and went back to his paperwork, “Do you remember anything?”

“The last thing I remember is Bellamy leaving the bar and I went to close my tab…Then you were there…” Your eyes shifted back and forth as you combed your brain for any memory, “I think…Fuck, I don’t know. I never get that drunk.” You buried your face in your palms with a whine. “Why am I here? Did you change my clothes?” It sounded like an accusation but you didn’t mean it that way.

Jake let out a quiet chuckle, “You changed your own clothes, Y/N.” He put the pen down again and pushed his papers aside, “You were trying to walk home by yourself last night, could barely stand up straight. I ordered you a lyft to get you home and you passed out while we waited for it.” He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you, “I don’t know where you live and I wasn’t just gonna leave you on the sidewalk to get yourself home, so I brought you here… You were in and out the whole ride. Once I got you inside, you said you had to pee, so I walked you to the bathroom and left you to do your business, but you were complaining about your dress riding up and you started taking it off.” You could feel your face growing red with embarrassment and he was trying hard to hide his amusement, “I grabbed some shit that I thought you would be more comfortable in and left it on the sink for you. You must have changed at some point, because when you finally came out of the bathroom, you were in the clothes I left and your dress was thrown in my shower…I just put you in the bedroom and let you sleep it off.”

You laid your forehead on the tabletop, “I’m so sorry…” How could you let this happen? Lifting your head to look at him, you caught his eyes, “Thank you, Jake, really. But, I’m so fucking sorry.” Your eyes widened as a realization hit you, “Oh-Oh my god… It’s your birthday… It’s your birthday and I- you just-.”

“Let’s go get breakfast, I’m starving.” He tipped back the last of his coffee and stood up. When you didn’t move, he tapped the table to gain your attention, “Peach. Breakfast. Let’s go.” He nodded towards the doorway.

“Jake, I don’t have clothes. I should just go home.” You finally pushed yourself to your feet, “Where’s my stuff?”

He pulled his phone up to check the time, “It’s in the bedroom and you can wear what you have on. I’ve been waiting all morning for you to wake up so we could eat.” You stared at him, confusion evident on your face, “Jesus, Y/N, go get your things.”

At a loss for words, you scurried around him and back to the room you’d awoke in to gather your stuff. When you came out, he was standing at the front door, holding the booties you wore out the night before. You took them from his hand and slipped them on hastily, “Are you taking me home?”

“After breakfast, peach.” He pulled the door open, ushering you out, and locked it behind him. You tried to protest but he held his finger up to silence you, “It’s my birthday, you can’t be a fucking brat today.” He moved by you, purposely bumping your shoulder as he passed. You rolled your eyes, mumbling to yourself to mock him. He whipped around to face you, “What did you say?”

You plastered on the brightest smile you could muster, batting your eyelashes at him, if only to get under his skin, “Oh… Just happy birthday, Jakey.” He was stuck in place, staring at you with a slight gape to his mouth. You just shrugged and pushed past him, bumping his shoulder right back, as you walked down the apartment building corridor, “Breakfast. Let’s Go.” You looked back at him with a smirk, repeating his own words.

“That fucking mouth…”

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riant-draws · 2 months

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You're so big brain yes yes yes moon and younger pebbles thoughts yes I'm eating up your art

First, thank you!! Sorry I took so long to respond ;-; been pretty tired lately and had to give this a lot of thought… perhaps too much… eheheh buckle up, anon, you’re in for an essay~ (also, I know you asked about Moon and younger Pebbles but this is like, 90% an analysis about Pebbles, oops-)

^ excuse me what happened here

also please in mind that these are just my headcanons (although some of them are very closely tied to canon, which is why I’ll be referencing some pearls) sooo uhh yeah! rambles under the cut!

To talk about Pebbles as a “kid” (in quotes because I don’t believe iterators have a childhood or developmental period that can effectively be compared to humans), I first have to talk about his construction—mostly because it was so unique.

When reading the pale green pearl (exterior) to Artificer, Pebbles mentions that his construction was very controversial among the council. And, when given to Moon, one of the white pearls reads:

“‘We, of the Five-hundred-and-ninety-second High Convocation of the True Anointed Citadel, do hereby demand, with full force of Law and Religious doctrine, an Immediate end to construction of the Apostate Superstructure Abomination. To place shadow upon the Divine Body of the True Anointed Citadel is outrageous blasphemy and cannot be tolerated, no matter the circumstances...’ Clearly this was ignored.”

As we can see in the game, Pebbles was built mostly on top of what’s now Shaded Citadel—which really pissed off the monks and religious leaders of the True Anointed Citadel, a very holy site. While talking to Artificer, he speaks casually and plainly, so you can assume that he didn’t mind their disdain for him. Granted, by the time of Arti’s campaign, all his citizens are long gone, so perhaps he just doesn’t care about their opinions anymore (if he ever did to begin with). But. When he was still brand new, he would have had to listen to so much hate directed at him, all for simply existing. While I did say earlier that I don’t think iterators have developmental stages like humans do, they definitely still mature and develop. Just because you’re created with an adult brain doesn’t mean that you’re automatically mature and experienced. Even Pebbles reflects on how he’s changed while reading the viridian pearl (garbage wastes):

“[…] much of my early work was encrypted before storage. Though my younger self has done a very poor job. […] now I can just see all of the holes in it. Created from a youthful and reticent mentality.”

So, clearly, iterators do learn and grow. But getting back on topic, I imagine that especially since Pebbles was very young when all that hate was piled on him, it would’ve been traumatic. Additionally, it’s implied (again, mainly in the pale green pearl) that he’s not exclusively hated. The pearl’s author clearly doesn’t want to piss Pebbles off, and they also state that one problematic House “[has] less than forty members on the Council, but still Tilt the spiritual Discourse with Our Iterator in a direction that most obviously Displeases him, and is hardly High Held by anyone in the Community either! We can not Risk this!”

(Of course, the pearl’s author is probably biased so who knows if they’re a reliable source of info or not, but there’s no way to verify that and hey it’s in the game after all so I’m just gonna roll with it.) This means that there are citizens (possibly even the majority) who actually like him, or at least want to remain in his good graces. With him. Y’know. Being responsible for their livelihoods and all. And you might think: great! Pebbles isn’t being universally hated! Well. The outpourings of both love and hate from his creators would create such a toxic environment and cause a lot of cognitive dissonance in him: he’s adored, even worshiped, a proud iterator revered as a godlike figure. But on the other hand, he’s despised, called horrible things like “Apostate Superstructure Abomination,” generally told he has no right to exist, etc etc. And this probably went on for years and years (or whatever the in-universe equivalent is). That would wear down anybody’s self-esteem. Which, in canon, you can see echoes of those thought patterns when the storyline takes place, who knows how long later. This stuff has affected him deeply.

All of this to say, I think his arrogance and god complex (that he displays in canon) are coping mechanisms—whether he’s aware of it or not. He tells himself that he’s “godlike in comparison” to everything that walks this forsaken world, that he’s so much better. In doing so, he runs from his mistakes and doesn’t process his emotions and traumas, generally making a bigger mess of himself. Because to admit the truth would be to admit that he’s broken, that he’s lonely, that he hates himself, I could go on but this isn’t getting any shorter aha…

Moooooving on, not to state the obvious, but it’s heavily implied throughout various pearls and bits of dialogue that Pebbles was one of the last iterators ever built. Given that he was constructed far closer (relatively speaking) to the time of public mass ascension and the fact that Moon was struggling to care for them, his creators would’ve likely been desperate (and perhaps a bit sloppy) while building him. As a result, the parts of him responsible for regulating his emotions and decision-making (his equivalent of a prefrontal cortex) are stunted, as that would’ve been one of the last things to develop. All of this just contributes to his, well, susceptibility to mental health issues/instability. Yaaaay.

side note: I also headcanon that iterator cans are more grown than built. When reading the light pink pearl (outskirts), Moon mentions that structures are infused with microbes that initiate healing cycles that gradually heal and waterproof broken structures. While she’s likely referring to structures on the ground, it would make sense that at least all parts of an iterator below the rain layer would be made in the same fashion. And if you take the bronze pearl (Metropolis), for instance, Moon tells the player that “It’s a blueprint for a type of large immobile purposed organism. This one seems to be specifically for the cities built on top of our structures. […] newer designs began to use a mass-produced cellular build called living blocks,” she’s basically saying that the buildings on top of Pebbles and other newer iterators are primarily organic. So why not grow large parts of their superstructures as well? We already know that iterators are partly biological, and also, growing them certainly would make a lot of the construction process at least semi-autonomous. And this way, the ancients wouldn’t have to risk their lives to go below the rain layer and work on his legs, underhang, etc.

Time for one of my favorite headcanons! And one that’s much more headcanon-y than the others lol, that is, Pebbles’ puppet being child-sized. Big head, big eyes, sorta stubby limbs, rounder features (except his antennae, those are triangles for some reason ffs lol idk what I’m doing) etc. First (and more boring) reason is that if Moore’s law applies in some form in-universe (not an all-important Law of Science or anything, just an observed trend meaning that as time goes on and developments improve, tech gets both smaller/more space-efficient and better), that means Pebbles shouldbe both one of the most powerful iterators and one of the smallest. But if the whole reason e was built was to provide a home to Moon’s citizens because she couldn’t care for them very well anymore (deep green pearl, Metropolis—this is Moon’s reading, but Pebbles’ is interesting, too), why would they make his can smaller? Simple: they didn’t. Instead, his can has more empty space inside it as components are smaller, and his puppet is tiny. Like. Waist-high on an ancient.

Another reason he was designed to look childlike was to try to make him look as appealing & likeable to the public as possible. With how controversial his construction was, his creators and whatever equivalent of a marketing team they employed would’ve hoped to sway the monks and everybody who strongly opposed his construction, like, “look! he’s just a little guy! look at those pink cheeks! you wouldn’t hate a ‘kid’, would you?!?” (spoiler alert: they would)

But as consequence, his image was very marketable soooooooo

yeah idk man pebbles plushie canon

On the more angsty side of things, unfortunately for Pebbles, many ancients and even other iterators (looking at you, Sig and Suns) didn’t take him very seriously since he permanently looks like a kid. This just added fuel to the fire, making him even more frustrated and feeling unheard. Just. All of it is such a bad situation.

Moon, of course, sees how he’s being treated by his citizens (who used to be hers, and she wasn’t fond of them anyway) and her own peers, she knows it’s so harmful to him, but what can she do? She may be the local group senior and his administrator, but he strikes me as having such an independent personality (yay more stuff caused by trauma) that he feels like he’s caught in her shadow, perhaps. “Looks to the Moon’s little brother.” So he probably isn’t… very receptive to her attempts to build him up, but man, she still tries. And it’s worth mentioning that he’s also a workaholic, so he always thinks that he has “better things to do” than, say, spending time with his sister.

I bet she’d still try to play games with Pebbles (and he’d probably indulge her on occasion), show him cool things, engage him in conversation, try to get him to talk about his interests, etc., all to bond with him and get to know him better. And he’s a stubborn little piece of work, sure, but he genuinely does care for her (it’s in canon and shows up in several places).

I could say more but this has gone on long enough, but I do wanna clarify that while I don’t support his decisions or actions, his motivations are understandable. my guy is a dude who was put into a horrible situation and screwed over from the beginning. sure, all the stuff he’s been through doesn’t excuse his garbage, sometimes immature behavior in canon, but it certainly explains it. (good lord, I could write an essay on how he’s changed by the time of Rivulet’s campaign alone) uh anyway he’s a fascinating character who I spend too much time thinking about thank you for reading if you made it this far lol

(also, gotta say that a lot of these apply to my fic, too, shameless plug and some of them have already been mentioned or alluded to in it—it’s a time-travel fix-it that starts waaay back in the past so if that’s your thing, hey XD)

#long post #a literal essay #ramblings #rain world #five pebbles #rw five pebbles #looks to the moon #rw looks to the moon #headcanon time #iterating fate #because all of this is relevant to my fic lol #who would've guessed #ask

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