#it took me literal years I’m sobbing
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Adeptal shenanigans pt. 1 of ???? feat. a much younger Mingli
#deci doodles#genshin impact#genshin oc#menogias#Cheng Mingli#cloud retainer#Xianyun#madame ping#I made a doodle last year of Menogias trying to get his measurements and stuff and I’m p sur that eventually made my brain go#‘ok yeah Mingli totally had a crush on him before he tragically got shanked by Bonanus’#and then a few days later boom#Menogias lantern for lantern rite this year#also can I just say it’s been a real pain in the ass trying to design this dude’s adeptus outfit#it took me literal years I’m sobbing#damn you hoyo aesthetics I can never seem to be able to imitate you#tag rambles
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Just saw the northern lights in my backyard I am having a moment
#First of all there’s the ever present “if you killed yourself then you wouldn’t have seen this” that I hear when I see something#But in case anyone’s wondering I’m connecting it to the characters and I’m sobbing#Something something. Henry took Matthew to see the lights as a child. He took him for years. He takes him as adult#It’s a whole thing very thinly veiled “taking to the new baby to see it. Yeah. You better come along. To make sure the baby has a good time#It’s not until like two hours in that Matthew realizes that the baby has been dead fucking asleep since 7pm#“What do you mean an eleven month old who sleeps like the dead whenever they’re held won’t- wait.”#It’s a therapy moment if you would#It’s now very very important to me#It goes hand in hand with the star thing. Which is also very very important to me.#Which is in the same filing cabinet as the flower thing. Which is horrendously important to me.#Which is in *gunshot*#…why have I not answered the anon asking for headcannons I literally have so many tf#Actually I know why the sheer excitement overloads my soul
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@ the aroace community
Girl help. How do we survive?
#I’m greyromantic which is so fucking hard dude#how?#how do others do it?#the answer: we don’t#I was such a dummy#I still am#took me five years to figure out three people had a crush on me! and I freaking was so mean to one cause#I thought they were making fun of me! It didn’t compute someone could like me if they never met me or even talked to me???#I straight up said F you to his face!!! aaaaaa I’m so sorry!!!#I wore fucking CAT EARS to class!!! his friend constantly told me that he liked me and it didn’t fucking register that he wasn’t joking!!!#that girl in class who always wanted to be my lab partner and was very forward wasn’t just there to pass the class by copying me!#she was actually flirting with me! cause she liked me! and I thought she was just some kid! and she would always joke around with me and#include me and I was literally such a dummy greyromantic who didn’t understand what was happening! aaaaaaaaaa#literally there was other lab partners in the room smarter than me why did I think this??? my brain is so illogical???#my asexual brain was not affected by her!#aaaaaa literally sobbing oh my god ONE OF MY FRIENDS. THE MOST OBVIOUS IF THEM ALL AND I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST BEING SILLY#dude. I can’t. literally sobbing and crying#aroace#aromantic#asexual#greyromantic#greysexual#guys#guys please#how do we live like this?
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the smallest man who ever lived - cl16
masterlist || part 2 || part 3 ||
Summary: The one where you’re thrown into a conundrum when you learn the news of your husband, Charles’, infidelity.
Pairing: charles leclerc x wife!reader; carlos sainz x reader
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: angst, cheating, crying, manipulation(?), charles is an absolute asshole (but so is the reader) (but she’s kinda also badass?) (toxic relationship?), even more assholish carlos (gasp), blackmail, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation (literally just pushing someone off but still)
Request: “Hey girl can I request something angsty with Charles? Maybe Charles cheating on Y/N (we’re already famous and have been married to Charles for years) and the fighting, the finding out, his guilt, angst, etc.”
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! thank you to the anon who requested this because i had the time of my life working on it, and it might be the first fic i wrote in one go for the last six months or so!! also thank you to the getting cheated on playlists i found on spotify and amy dunne for giving me the inspiration to make the reader as toxic as i could. special thanks to @norrisleclercf1 and @percervall who had to listen to me talk about this fic NONSTOP. this is definitely something very different to what i usually write, but i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
There are moments in life where you feel like a complete and utter idiot. Although it could be for no apparent reason at all, there is a perfectly explainable reason why you feel like that right now, in the middle of your trailer on the set, with your manager and publicist both looking at you like you could explode at any given moment. It took you a good amount of time to wrap your head around the news, the news that wrecked you into a million of pieces which left you as the only person who can put them back together.
“Let me get this straight,” you start, still trying to wrap your head around the news, “they were photographed leaving the club, and there’s a–?”
“Sex tape, yes.” Your manager mumbles, earning himself a side-eye from your publicist. “It was so kindly attached to the email.”
“And it is anonymous?” You ask, earning curt nods from both. “Well,” you manage to get out, pressing your lips together not to let out a sob, or a laugh, both? “That is very ambitious of him.”
Your publicist shares a concerned look with your manager, then turns to you, “I guess so? How would you want us to handle this? I can buy us some time until these are released to public, but I think getting a statement ready just in case is essential given the fact that both of you are public figues. We can say that you’ll attend marriage councelling–”
Your loud laugter cuts her off in the middle of her sentence. “And just why would we do that?”
“I–” She gives you another concerned look as she softens her voice, which is quite uncharacteristic for her, you realise. “How would you want us to approach it then?”
“I don’t want you to approach it at all.” You voice cuts through the tension, your gaze fixed on her. “I’ll handle it.”
“But Charles–” She tries to reason, but you cut her off again.
“Decided to get his dick wet where it certainly didn’t belong, he’s a big boy – he’ll survive.” Fixing her with a final look, you turn to your manager instead. “I don’t want this going to Charles or his team’s ears, that’s what the email said, and we should honour it, no?”
His expression turns into a smirk, matching the one playing on your lips as he nods in thougt, “Would you like us to do anything else? We can talk with the production if you need a couple of days to… well, recuperate. Greta would understand.”
“No.” Your answer is final as you shake your head. “She thinks this is an Oscar worthy project, I’m not throwing it away because my husband decided to think with his dick and not his brain. Just call my lawyers and tell them to be on stand by.”
“Should I also book you tickets to Monaco still?” He asks in a monotone tone.
“Well of course,” you reply in a sweet voice, widening your eyes for dramatic effect, “it’s a family event.”
Your publicist eyes the both of you, “Okay,” as she drags the word out, “are you sure you don’t want to take a couple of days off?”
“Positive. I have an EGOT to win.” Raising the script you have in your hands in the air, you announce, “I have lines I need to go over, is that all?”
And as they leave your trailer to give you some space to ‘go over your lines’, you let a few tears escape your eyes, promising yourself that you would make Charles feel a thousand worse what he made you feel in the moment.
It is not surprising or a sudden revelation that Monte Carlo has good weather all year around. But as it happens with the last few weeks following you learning about your husband’s infidelity, all you feel is cold – and no amount of warm weather is enough to make your heart feel warmer again. As you stand at the terrace of Café de Paris, overlooking the cityscape of Monte Carlo, all you can think about is how you just want to get this part of you plan over with as fast as possible.
“Chérie!” The voice you hear makes a lump perpetually situate itself in the middle of your throat, but you brace yourself for the worst as you turn on your heels to face the person you’re most scared of facing in this whole situation. “Look at you, you look incroyable! You had me scared when you told me you were catching the redeye, and that we just had to talk!”
“Pascale,” you breathe out as the woman pulls you into her arms with the warmness of any mother would do, and for that brief moment, you feel better than you have in weeks. “It’s so nice to see you again,” giving her the warmest smile you can muster up in the circumstances as you pull back, fixing your gaze at the figure behind her as you nod your head in acknowledgement, “Arthur.”
“Maman is right,” Arthur says as he opens his arms, “you do look good.”
“Well, thank you.” You reply as you give him a quick hug, and motion the table as you pull back. “Shall we?” Call it common curtesy, or cowardice, the fact that you don’t directly get to the point. Either way, you talk about what you’ve missed in the couple of months in which you’ve been away filming. You’re not necessarily paying attention, though the endtail of Pascale’s sentence catch your attention. “Excuse me, can you repeat that?”
“Well, I was just telling how sad I was that Charles doesn’t come home as often this season. Though I understand he’s coming out to see you on set, distance can be so hard even for–”
“He’s not coming out to see me, Pascale.” You voice is softer, and appears more broken than you would want it to be, but your words convey the message enough. It takes you a couple of moments to organise your thoughts, and Arthur calling out your name, to get you back into the moment. “There’s something I need to talk with the both of you, something I’ve already talked with Lorenzo, but I thought it would be better for you to hear it from me.”
“Okay?” Arthur mumbles, then gives you a supportive smile, “You can tell us anything. Though don’t tell me I’m about to be an uncle because I don’t think my ego can take it at the–”
You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat as you direct your words to the woman sitting across from you. “I’m divorcing your son, and I thought you should hear it from me and not him.”
It takes a few minutes for both Pascale and Arthur to say something, and it concerns you that you somehow managed to give your mother in law a brain aneurism, but eventually, she manages to get out, “What? How? Why? Are you okay?”
“I’m… fine.” You reply, albeit it comes off calculated. “I found a couple of weeks ago that he was cheating on me, I’ve came back to give him the papers myself.”
“He what?” Arthur exclaims, then realises the level of his voice, and lowers it down as he asks, “Are you sure this is not a misunderstanding? The guy has been in love with you for over a decade, he wouldn’t do this.” With a resigning sigh, you find what you’re looking for in your phone and hand it over to Arthur. Who then, upon seeing what you have pulled up, immediately hands it back to you and turns to his mother, “Trust me you don’t want to see it.”
“I’ve came to tell you the news, and well, to apologise.” You turn to face Pascale again.
“Apologise?” She repeats, “Why on earth would you apologise to me when my son cheated on you?”
“You’ve been nothing but kind to me ever since we’ve met, both of you.” You acknowledge Arthur with a look, and then focus your attention back on the woman, “Though I will make sure you don’t get caught in the crossfire in any way, I wanted to apologise for what I’m about to put your son through.”
You honestly don’t know how you manage to act as if everything has been going fine in your life during race day. Given the fact that your husband doesn’t expect you to be at his race due to your rigorous filming schedule, and his family members being willing to hide your existence from him, you have no obstacles in your way to carry out the rest of your plan in motion. Which is exactly why you’re sat in the dark, waiting for your husband to walk through the doors of your apartment overlooking the city. With you seemingly being absent for the weekend, he has no reason to not believe that he is coming to an empty house.
So, imagine his surprise when he enters his home; with his girlfriend in his arm, no less, and sees his wife sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and a drink in her hand. The look on his face is priceless, and despite all the pain and frustration you’re feeling, it manages to bring you some semblance of joy, knowing that it’s going to hurt him just as much as it hurt you.
“Ma chérie,” Charles stammers, eye wide as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights, “I – I didn’t know y–you were coming back this weekend.”
“Well obviously,” you scoff, taking a generous sip from the drink in the glass tumbler in your hand, “otherwise you wouldn’t bring your little girlfriend into my house to fuck her.” You hear a gasp from the scaredy brunette wedging herself closer to your husband’s side, and for the first time you take a good look at her – young, much younger than you, tall, leggy; all the telltale signs that she is exactly your husband’s type. Tilting your head to the side, you rest the glass on the arm of the armchair you’re sitting in, “If you could leave now, I would greatly appreciate it.”
You hear Charles whisper something in her ear, probably telling her to leave and that he’ll contact her tomorrow, and watch as she gives him a scowl, screeching, “You’re just going to let her throw me out?”
“Well, considering the fact that this is my house, yes.” You give her a look of pity, watching her face light up with anger.
“Listen to me, you bitch–” She starts, but your husband quickly cuts her off.
“Mon cœur!” He exclaims, “S'il te plaît!”
“Yes, listen to him, like a good little girl,” you egg her on, a smirk widening on your lips as you start swinging the leg resting on your lower one, choosing to focus on your nails instead of your husband trying to soothe his lover.
You hear her scoff, take a few steps as her heels click on the marble floor of the entrance, “I wouldn’t be so calm if I were you, I’m not someone you want to be on bad terms with, considering the fact that he’s going to leave you for me!”
“Oh, honey,” you coo, focusing your attention back on her and seeing the look of concern in your husband’s face through the corner of your eye, “and when did he tell you that, like a year ago? Two? Three?” A realisation dawns on her face as the smug expression starts to fade. “Don’t worry, though, you can have him when I’m done with him.” Pushing yourself off the armchair, you down the rest of the drink in the glass before slamming it down onto the glass coffee table. “And not only do I not care if you think I'm a bitch, but I hugely prefer it. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call security and get your ass thrown out.”
You watch as she looks at Charles with indignation, lets out another screeching sound and slams the door behind her as she stomps out of your apartment. Only then you turn your gaze back to your husband, who has the guts to look at you with a worried look on his face. “How long have you known?” Is the first thing he asks you, taking a few steps closer.
“A couple of weeks, a month, maybe?” You answer him, leaving your place to get to the small bar in the corner of your living room to get another refill of your drink. “There’s a video of the two, it somehow got into my hands, and it has very graphic details of the two of you having sex.” Popping a lemon into your cup, you make your way back to the armchair and sit down, “Are you stupid enough to cheat on me and make a fucking sex tape, Charles?”
“I-I didn’t mean to–” He tries to plead, but you cut him off with a shake of your head.
“You didn’t mean to what?” You ask him; your voice soothing, almost understanding, and it does the job of fooling him. “Cheat on me? Fuck another woman in my bed? Break the vows you’ve made?”
“Ma chérie,” he whispers, “please.”
“No.” Your voice is colder all of a sudden. “Tell me how long this has been going on for. Was I right? How many years?”
“It started five years ago,” his voice is soft, somber and he tries to appear as genuine as he can in the situation, you suppose, “but I knew her, from before...”
“Before what?” You’re seething now, the complete opposite of his calmness, “Did you fucking cheat me when we were dating, Charles?”
“Ma chérie,” he gives you another pleading look, “please, I can change. I’ll go to therapy.”
Now that, manages to get a bark of laughter from you. It’s ripped from the back of your throat, making you throw your head back as you lose yourself in the laughter to the point that there are tears in your eyes when you finally manage to calm yourself down. Putting the glass down on the coffee table once again, you wipe them off, mindful of your mascara, as you shift your attention back onto your husband. “Are fucking kidding me right now?” He gives you a concerned look, hands on his hips as he opens his mouth to answer you, but you quickly shut him down again. “You were bringing her into my house to fuck her, I caught you, I have your fucking sex tape – which is going to be streamlined for the world to see within twenty-four hours, do you honestly think I would go back to you?”
“Wait, what?” He exclaims, looking at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression. “What do you mean they are going to streamline it, why didn’t you go to the lawyers?
“I did go to the lawyers,” you shrug, innocently, “my lawyers,” you point out. “Why would I cover up your mistakes after everything you’ve done?”
“Because I’m your fucking husband!” He barks, his arms widening to his sides as he finally loses his mask and his composure.
His little tantrum only makes you let out another laugh, “Now, you’re my husband? Not when you’re cheating on me when I’m away shooting, but when you need me to clean up after your mistakes?”
“How did you even get the video?” He asks, eyes narrowing down, “Who- who– who?”
“Who? Who? Hoo? What are you, a fucking owl?” You exclaim, this time raising your voice. “You’re honestly more concerned about where I got it and not about the fact that the entire world is about to see you fucking someone other than your wife?”
“What are we doing to do?” He asks, “Fuck, I have a race tomorrow.”
“We’re not going to do anything.” You shrug, leaning forward to grab the glass and take another sip, “Or scratch that, we’re actually going to do something.” You stand up from the armchair, walk towards the table and hand him the file. “Congratulations, we’re getting a divorce.”
“That is not happening.” He scoffs, not even bothering to look at the papers.
“I don’t think you’re in the position to bargain with me, Charles.” You seethe, “You’re going to sign the damn papers, and you’re also going to sign away your rights to the baby.”
“What the–?” He looks at you in disbelief, “You’re pregnant?”
“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” You bite out, “Like you wanted.”
“You’ve been drinking the entire night.” He points to the glass, “Do you expect me to believe you’re pregnant?”
Offering him a sweet smile you hand him the glass, tipping it towards him, “It’s soda water, would you like a sip?”
“Don’t make me do this,” he pleads, “give me another chance.”
“I would’ve, if you were honest with me from the start.” You resign, a sincere look in your eyes. “I’ll give you a choice: us, or her.”
He rears back with the offer, looking at you in disbelief. “What?”
“You either choose me and the baby or you choose to be with her, and in that case, I will never let you near my baby, Charles.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around your stomach protectively.
For a second, his eyes linger around your stomach. But you know his choice when he meets your eyes again.
“What have we done to each other?” He whispers, and you can barely see the tears in his eyes.
“We didn’t do anything, Charles. I gave up everything for you, but you just took me for granted.” Walking back to the dining table, you grab your coat and bag, and when you come face to face with him again, your voice is soft despite all the anger you still feel towards him. “You, Charles Leclerc, are truly the smallest man who ever lived.”
The hotel lobby is calm and empty as you sit at the bar, and it’s surprising when you consider that fact that it is the weekend of the Monaco Grand Prix, meaning that there must be hundreds and thousands of motorsports fans visiting. Not that you’re complaining about the silence, of course. After the night you’ve had, silence and calmness are all you could ask for.
“I’ll get a whiskey, please, whatever top shelf stuff you’ve got.” A voice cuts through the moment you are having, and you instantly recognise the distinct accent of the stranger sitting next to you. “Thought you were in the States, finishing off filming.” This time, the comment is directed to you, and you roll your eyes as you push the empty glass towards the bartender on duty.
With a sigh, you turn to the man on your right, “What do you want, Carlos?” Your voice conveys your lack of energy, and Carlos is not dumb enough not to notice the dark circles under your eyes beneath your makeup.
“I came to check on you.” Is his answer. Simple, curt and to the point. You’d certainly appreciate it more if you had the patience for his antics.
“Well, you did, have a good night.” Slamming down a hundred-Euro bill onto the counter, you make a move to get up from your place, but a gentle hand on your wrist stops you. “Let me go.”
Though there is no venom to your voice, Carlos knows that it is not the time, nor the place, to test your patience. “I’m sorry,” he starts and when you take a good look at him, you can tell that he’s being sincere, “I really did want to check up on you, and considering the fact that you have a perfectly good penthouse but instead in a hotel, I think I was right to do so.”
Crossing your arms across your chest as you get back onto the barstool with a huff, you glare at him lightheartedly, “I didn’t want to stay in the same house as him,” raising your eyebrows, you continue with a lower voice, “thanks to [email protected], but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” The way his cheeks redden under the dim lights of the lobby bar would make you chuckle under normal circumstances, but you push the thought aside, “Honestly, what were you thinking? You’re lucky it was me who realised it was you, if it was my agent or publicist, we’d have another scandal to deal with.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off with a swat of his hand, “I’m sorry I put you into that position.”
“Don’t be,” you mumble, tilting your head to the side, “I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t sent me the video. Just tell me why you did it.”
“What?” He turns you with a confused look on his face.
“Why, Carlos?” You ask, voice encouraging yet soft, “Why did you send it? Why now?”
He keeps quiet for a while, not answering your questions but not taking his gaze off you either. Eventually, he exhales a deep sigh as he gives you a sheepish shrug, “I didn’t like the way he treated you. And I didn’t want to make you worry about it without concrete proof, so I guess everything just... worked out.”
“Huh,” you let out a small hum in agreement, “I guess you’re right.”
Expecting more than the words you chose to answer him with, he raises an eyebrow as he takes a big gulp of whiskey from his glass. “That’s it?”
“Well, what more is it there to say?” You ask, sheepishly shrugging. “We’re getting a divorce; he’s going to move out and I’m gonna make sure the entire world knows just why.”
Carlos flags down the bartender as he mumbles, “I feel like you need a stronger drink if we’re going to talk about your impending divorce, cariño.”
Taking a deep breath and exhaling an even deeper sigh, you shake your head. “I can’t.” Thank God Carlos is one of the people who is the proud owner of a braincell around you, because he catches your insinuation quickly.
With widened eyes, he quickly turns towards you, eyes softening as you offer him a sad smile. “Dios mío,” he murmurs, eyes running over you worriedly, “are you okay?”
“Well... no.” You let out an unexpected laugh at his expression, patting him on the shoulder lightheartedly. “I’ll be fine, Carlos, I’m a big girl. I can handle this.”
“I know you will,” he assures you, “but does Charles know?”
Now that manages to bring a grimace to your face. “He signed his parental rights away along with the divorce papers.” The look he gives you after hearing your words has you worried that his eyes are going to pop out of their sockets, but you try to calm him down as best as you can. “Carlos, it’s fine.”
“It’s most certainly not!” He exclaims, his voice echoing in the almost empty hotel lobby. “Is he out of his mind?”
You give him an awkward smile and another shrug of your shoulders. "I... feel like whatever I’m going to say is going to be wrong. So... yes?”
“Cariño,” he says, exasperated, “how are you so normal about this?”
“Lots of women raise their kids as single mothers while working, Carlos.” Your expression quickly taking the form of a frown, “I can handle this, I don’t need Charles or anyone else to hold my hand and tell me I’m doing such a good job.”
“I know you can do this alone, tonta,” he rolls his eyes as the endearment making you roll your eyes, “but you’re not going to be alone. Because I’m here.” There’s a certain finality to his words. And just as you’re about to object to his words, he quickly shuts you down. “I know you can do this on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
“What if I need waffles in the middle of the night?” You ask, your eyebrow raised in a skeptical way.
“I’ll adjust my pancake recipe.” His reply his immediate, and he shrugs lightly as he adds, “Pancakes are better, anyway.”
Rolling your eyes you continue, “What if I need someone to hold my hand in the delivery room? It can get quite gruesome, you know?”
He provides you with another nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never really been affected by it.”
“Okay, this is ridiculous, Carlos!” You exclaim, pushing yourself off your seat as you turn your body to face him. “I don’t need you to bail me out, I don’t need your help!”
“I know you don’t,” he nods.
“I am capable of doing this on my own!” You shriek, and the fact that your face is starting to get progressively redder worries Carlos.
“I know you are, but–” he tries to reason.
“No buts! I’m going to be a good mother, okay?” You point an accusatory finger towards him. “I’m going to choose him!”
The way your voice breaks at the end of your sentence has Carlos instinctively pull you into his arms, which is not that hard given the fact that you are almost the same height as him as you stand in front of the bar stool he’s sitting on, and he doesn’t say a word as you sob into his chest – letting out all the emotion you’ve bottled up over the past few weeks, no less. He doesn’t you offer you empty promises or tries to soothe you with cliché phrases. Instead, he stands still, holding you between his arms as you sob continuously into his chest. Giving the bar tender an awkward smile over your shoulder, he hands him his card to close out your tabs.
He only starts talking again once you’ve pulled away and trying to wipe the remnants of your tears from under your eyes. “Do you feel better now?” He asks, handing you a napkin.
“Yeah,” you mumble, sniffing as you play with the corners of the napkin. Then, you flip your eyes toward his, and fix him with a glare. “You are not becoming my kid’s stepdad.”
“Of course not, cariño,” he assures you, “I’ll be the dad that stepped up instead.”
You let out a teary chuckle as you slap him lightly on his chest. “I’m serious, Carlos.”
“So am I.” He replies softly, and you can see the genuine look on his face. “You’re not alone anymore, I’m choosing you.” Tentatively, he presses his hand softly against your stomach as he maintains your gaze. “Both of you.”
And though the last thing you want is a promise, this one seems like a real one. So, you let yourself believe that he might just keep it up.
#monzabee#requests open#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smut#formula 1#fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#imagine#fluff#angst#smut#charles leclerc angst#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz angst#carlos sainz imagine
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Hey chat...
I literally have so many scenarios in my head it's killing me
Could you do a scenario where the reader shields Isha from the blast (or whatever) which results in her on the verge of death. How will jinx deal with it? And how will she save her
(I'm trying to cope with the loss of my baby Isha 😞💔)
Sure! Here ya go but probably sucks, haven’t wrote one of these in a while! Enjoy!
Heading photos made by @diana-foggy-master !
Sacrificial
You could only process what the girl was thinking when her small feet started running past you helping Jinx off the ground.
The familiar act was so hard to miss. It was like watching Powder all over again all those years ago the night everything went wrong.
You couldn’t handle it again.
“Jinx? Jinx- I’m so sorry.” You apologized to your lover on the ground. Jinx looked at you, confused with her face having splatters of blood drops. But she was so confused. What were you sorry for?
It only clicked when she saw you running after Isha into what she knew she would never get you back from.
“No- no!” Jinx cried out, getting up with the look of horror on her face when you ran. She tried reaching for you like you did her all those years ago, only to fall short. She lost you.
She lost you before you even got to the girl.
Isha was right within your grip, tears falling from your face as you knew you wouldn’t be coming back home to your lovers and your bed.
“Isha!” You yelled, reaching for her as she kept running, shoving gemstone after gemstone into Jinx’s gun.
“(Name)! Isha! No!” Jinx cried, trying her best to get to the both of you as Isha slid to the ground, moving just like Jinx taught her to as she finally got to Vander.
Jinx was caught by Vi, crying and blubbering as her heart and chest constricted at the thought of you leaving her with her mind.
What was she gonna do? She couldn’t fix this once it was done.
Isha had barely mimicked Jinx back at her, the little finger gun motion breaking your head. Isha wasn’t dying. This wasn’t how she was gonna say goodbye.
Isha lifted the gun to Vander, and by the look on his face as he saw you nearing you could tell he had no control over this. Just like back then.
Isha had barely closed her eyes, and you saw the smile on her face. She looked almost content to die. Like it was a release. You felt bad for taking it from her.
She barely pulled the trigger when you grabbed her, pulling her to your chest and curling around her.
Isha’s eyes shot open, panicked for a split second as she tried to push you away and out of there. But you were older. Stronger. The way you wished when you were younger to be like Vi.
You barely managed a smile to Isha as you held her, and even years later she could still hear your voice and see your smile as you whispered in her ear.
“You’ll be okay. Take care of her for me, will ya?”
The gun went off.
And you were gone.
The reaction was immediate. Isha didn’t feel you anymore. She was cold, your arms around her gone as she finally opened her eyes after praying to whatever god there was that you were okay.
Nothing.
Not anything of you was left behind.
All she heard was Jinx’s wailing, and her little heart dropped to her stomach at the realization.
You were gone.
Because of her. Isha took you from Jinx.
“Isha! Why- why would you do that?!” Jinx cried, even though she knew you’d hate to hear the words coming from her mouth but she couldn’t stop herself.
She pushed Vi off of her, running to Isha out of relief and anger as she searched for you to come up with nothing.
She grabbed the girl by her shoulders, crying and blubbering as she sobbed.
“Why would you- (Name)?! (Name)!” Jinx cried, yelling it out as she searched for you.
Isha had no idea what to do with Jinx’s anger but cry with her as she felt your absence.
Jinx wasn’t able to process this, and Vi could only watch as the one thing her sister held dear to her heart from when they were kids, you, was gone. Just like that.
Jinx’s sobs turned to wails as she felt her heart being ripped from her chest. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You were supposed to be okay. Vander was supposed to come back. They were supposed to stay and be happy. Vi could even be there.
Jinx had her family back, and now it was all gone.
Her wails kept going, she gripped onto Isha cause she would be damned if she let her out of her sight for her to be taken to.
Her head fell to Isha’s shoulder, the girl's cries mixing with her own as Isha’s little fingers gripped onto her.
Jinx and Isha crumbled together on the floor, crying and sniffling and sobbing. What happens now? What comes next?
How can anything come next…when you’re gone?
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tlp jk is def the type to absolutely sob when he sees oc walk down the aisle/when he’s trying to propose to her and it maybe just me but I feel like after that one year anniversary he’s like I’m wifing this girl DOWNN cause I feel like he lich has the ring and everyth ready to go he’s waiting he’s prepped 😭
here it is!!! #thee proposal drabble this is literally the cutest thing ever i wish love was real 😖🥹 hope u enj!!!!!!!!!!
summary: in which jungkook proposes and it doesn't start off well
w/c: 3.7k
warning/s: tlp couple is extremely in love that is a warning. they're also cry babies. listen to something by the beatles for the major feels 😔
“Baby,” Jungkook sighs, matching your pace. “Are we really fighting right now?”
“No.” Is your stern response, continuing your quick steps without even bothering to look back at him.
“I guess we are fighting right now.” Jungkook mumbles to himself, taking two big strides so he can finally catch up with you.
You don’t pay him any attention when he slides his arm around your waist while the other holds the bag of large popcorn you bought a while ago, leaning down to kiss the side of your head. Jungkook doesn’t even care about the people passing by around the cinema; they have lives to care about on their own – he can kiss his girlfriend wherever and whenever he wants.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers in your hair, enough for only you to hear.
There’s a crease on your forehead that hasn’t ceased ever since you left the restaurant you had your dinner at. But after a few beats, you let out a sigh.
“I just really wanted to see the movie in IMAX.” you lament, and Jungkook feels bad. He really does.
“I know, baby, I really am sorry,” he apologizes once again. “We can see it tomorro—” but he realizes you both have a full-time shift, so he opts for, “–next week?”
“Jungkook, the screening ends in the next two days.” you say, tone bordering on annoyed now. You reel it back in, gently saying, “I just– I told you to hurry up earlier, but you kept on changing your hair even though– you know what, forget about it. Which cinema were we in, again?”
Jungkook’s nerves begin to kick in, because you look like you’re genuinely upset now. He can tell it by the tone of your voice, the disappointment and the simmering irritation of having to deal with the situation. You don’t get angry often – no scratch that, you don’t get angry at all. However, it does come in withdrawal-like gestures and behavior – like now.
And again, Jungkook really does feel bad for having to do what he did earlier. You weren’t able to purchase tickets online so you had to make do with buying on the actual booth – and because Jungkook took way too long in the comfort room of the restaurant fixing his hair, you arrived at the cinema way too late and the tickets for the last IMAX screening of the night ran out. It left you with no choice but to go with the regular one instead, and needless to say, you’re not at all that happy about that.
Well, shit. Jungkook thinks. This date is not going well at all. The waitress at the restaurant you ate at a while ago openly flirted with him on your table and he was too stunned to do something that you had to tell her off by yourself. That had obviously taken a hit on your mood, and the cinema thing just kind of maybe amplified it and Jungkook thinks he’s beginning to get fucked.
“I’ll make up it up to you, baby–”
“The tickets, Jungkook.”
Jungkook purses his lips into a thin line and gives them to you.
You walk alongside each other quietly, but Jungkook doesn’t let go of your waist while you head towards the dark and quiet hallway, leading to the seats. You don’t pry his hand off so maybe – maybe – that’s a good thing.
But god, this night isn’t going well like he wanted it to be. Suddenly, he’s nervous again. More nervous that he was in the shower awhile ago when you were still prepping for the date back at home. He’s anxious about fucking the whole thing up, and sure, he could trust his track record of never fucking up when it comes to doing big things in his life, but this is different. This will be different. And he’s just so fucking scared that he checks on his watch again.
8:22pm.
Eight minutes before the movie starts in your cinema. And eight minutes more before the–
“Jungkook,” You call him, and he’s just in the middle of pushing the seat down for you when you do so. He looks at you. Confused, you ask, “Do you have somewhere to go?”
“Huh?”
“You keep on looking at your watch. You have been since we were at the restaurant.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen and he’s thankful there’s barely any lights in the hall.
“I– no. No.” He shakes his head, placing down the bag of popcorn in the middle and takes your hand instead, interlocking your fingers. “I’m sorry, did I keep doing that?” He asks consciously.
He’s really fucking this up, and you’re noticing it.
“Yes, it’s bothering me a little,” You shuffle in your seat a little, facing Jungkook. Softly, you ask, “Do you wanna go home? We can ditch the movie. I’m sorry for being a dickhead the whole night. It’s not an excuse but I really wanted to watch this movie in IMAX… but it’s fine. I’m not mad at you. I’m just in a… mood. And I know I’m taking it out on you. I’m sorry. I’m being so unappreciative over here – I know you were supposed to work on your research–”
“Hey,” Jungkook stops you before you can even finish that. “No, baby. This is our date. I don’t wanna go home yet and I’m genuinely really sorry for missing the IMAX screening.” He’d add he didn’t mean to take long in the comfort room earlier… but that would be a lie. He intended to do that so you can both arrive here on time like planned.
You purse your lips into a thin line. “Still… I’m sorry for being a little bitch.”
“Not true. You’re an angel.” Jungkook says and brings your interlocked hands up to kiss your knuckles. “Love you.”
You frown. “Love you too.”
That earns you a hearty chuckle from him. “I love you more.”
“Not that again.” You sigh, turning sideways to look ahead on the screen but not breaking away from his hold.
Jungkook contains his smile as his gaze falls to the big screen as well, nerves crumbling down a little at the exchange. You’re the only person who can make him nervous but the only one who can take it away at the same time.
“Huh,” you utter suddenly in the middle of some trailer playing. “It’s so weird there’s only a few people here.”
At that, Jungkook’s heart rate picks up a bit. “Y-yeah? Well, it’s late at night.”
“Fair.”
“And this movie’s not really new, right? Just an anniversary screening thing.” Jungkook continues to add, as if determined to justify your claim.
You nod. “I guess you’re right.”
“Yep.”
His phone lights up and you’re busy sipping on your drink so Jungkook takes that as an opportunity to check the messages he received.
tae [8:28pm]: starting in 2
tae [8:28pm]: good luck buddy
Jungkook swipes his tongue over his lips – a nervous habit – quickly turning it off and pocketing the device. He places his arm on the arm rest and taps his fingers on the plastic surface anxiously.
It feels like there’s a ticking clock above his head when the trailer finally ends, because he knows the thing should start rolling.
And Jungkook swears he’s prepared for this for so many weeks. Months for the matter. It’s now May and the ring has been bought since February. What was once tucked away from the depths of his closet is now snugged in the pockets of his trouser, deep enough that you couldn’t pinpoint the bulging outline of the box.
Jungkook originally planned for you both to be out of the country when he does it. But things got really hectic at the hospital and while he personally could’ve still taken a leave, you couldn’t. Jungkook brought up the idea of vacationing a little, “Just for a week,”, he said, but then you sadly told him that you couldn’t even if you wanted to and he understood that greatly. He’s in the same line of work, after all.
So, with what seemed to be the nth deliberation with Doyeon, Taehyung, and Nayeon, he ultimately decided on this set-up. You know; trick you into going to the mall with him so you can pass by the cinema and he successfully executes the proposal seamlessly. But obviously, it didn’t go as smoothly as that.
After your dinner, you impulsively decided that you wanted to watch a movie in IMAX, but it starts at exactly as Jungkook’s proposal, and so he had to compromise a little bit; the admittedly poor (but effective) solution coming in the form of intentionally staying a little longer in the comfort room of the restaurant just so you two would be lat.
And Jungkook swears it’s for a good reason! Because everything’s prepped and ready to roll and he can’t have himself waste another perfect opportunity. He remembers almost popping the question three months ago, two months ago, month ago, few weeks ago and heck, even last night – but he’d always get cold feet and think the time wasn’t right.
Right now, though, is different.
And he wants it so badly to be different.
Good thing you settled things quickly. Now that his being late is past you, he can be a little more confident in what he’s about to do.
The next trailer shows up and Jungkook sits upright, knowing what’s coming. He has it memorized, down to each frame. He was the one who edited it, after all, a product of his humble multimedia skills, that is. Jungkook could’ve gone to a professional but he really wanted to do it himself, scared they wouldn’t be able to tell you what he wanted to. And so he did. The gang also told him that it would be better if he did it himself.
And now he’s showing it to you – you, who’s completely clueless beside him.
It starts as a bit of a misdirect. There’s an intro from a famous movie studio, and a scene from a real movie – and so of course you don’t suspect anything, as Jungkook could say from his peripheral view.
Suddenly, the screen goes black. It causes a pregnant pause, stretched to exactly five seconds (again, Jungkook edited that), and then, a familiar clip suddenly plays.
It’s a video of you taken from Jungkook’s camcorder back in med school. First year, around the second semester. You were at Moon’s Printing Shop and you were looking down at your notes when Jungkook, behind the camera, called your name.
You looked up, hair messy from an all-nighter study but Jungkook’s certain the Jungkook behind the scene was still thinking you were the prettiest girl he’s ever seen just like he’s thinking now.
“Who would you wanna be if you were given the chance to be somebody else in your next life?”
You grimace. “Hopefully, still me.”
“So boring,” Jungkook exaggerated, his laughter reverberating in the hall of the theater. “Be serious.”
You looked flustered in the video. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna be somebody else.”
In his seat, Jungkook feels the real you sitting beside him tugging at your enclosed hands together, so he looks at you.
“Jungkook, what is this?” You say, evidently unaware of what’s currently happening, your brows furrowed in that cute confusion.
“Just something I’ve been working on for the past three months.” he smiles, bringing your hands together to his lips again. He just couldn’t stop kissing and touching you even if he tries.
You stare at him with your mouth agape, but you don’t say anything else, your gaze falling back to the screen once again.
“Okay, since you don’t wanna play this game I wanna be Darth Vader.” Jungkook said in the video.
“What? The evil guy from Star Wars?” You frowned. “That’s not… hmm… okay. I guess I wanna be… Spongebob, then.”
“Oh. Wow. Interesting. Alright, Darth Vader’s out. I wanna be Patrick instead.”
“I like that. So we’ll still be bestfriends, right?”
“Yeah. And I still get to stress you out even in the next life.”
That made you laugh, the warm burst of laughter filling the hall which makes Jungkook’s lips curl up as he watches the screen. He can never get tired of it; your smile, your laugh, your face as it lights up. There’s something so incredibly angelic about you he sometimes thinks you’re not human at all. Or maybe just part-human… nonetheless, he feels grateful. For literally everything.
Something in the way she moves…
The video transitions to another reel of you taken by Jungkook while The Beatles’ Something plays in the background.
"Oh my god..." Jungkook hears you gasp beside him, but he doesn't allow himself to break just yet. Instead, he tightens his grip on your hand, feeling your response as you hold on just as firmly.
The screen continues to show candid moments of you from med school. All recorded and taken by Jungkook; the trips you took during that time, that rave party you went to where you got extremely drunk – and when that showed up, you giggled beside him and said, “I told you to delete that.”, which he just laughed at.
Later on, the clips got more recent, you in your lilac dress and Jungkook’s white tux… it was a video of you dancing in Nayeon’s wedding.
“W-wha–… I didn’t – who took that?” You whisper, sounding in awe.
“Nayeon was apparently recording from the stage at that time.” Jungkook says, looking at you and smiling when he sees that you have your eyes glued to the screen.
“This is so…” you trail off, but you don’t really say anything in continuation.
Recent videos of you play, capturing moments from the two years you’ve been together. There’s that clip in Vienna, a few in Florence, Paris, Melbourne... It’s surreal to think that he captured those memories, never imagining they’d be used for something like this.
Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how
The song fades to an end and so did the compilation of your videos. The screen shows Jungkook this time instead. He leaned towards the camera, checked the optics, and then smiled a little. From the background, you know it was taken by the wall of his room, near the window because you can see the Sanrio plushie you put on the table beside there. It’s a little out of frame but you can still recognize it.
Then, he spoke.
“Uhm, hi,” He started, and you hold your breath, feeling like you’re on the edge of your seat but not in that anxious way. “I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I’m thinking of doing this video… for my proposal – and ah, my proposal – wait, I really should’ve written a script for this but I wanted this to be natural as much as possible and I’m going off-track so we’ll move on to what I really wanna say,”
You can’t help but laugh at that, and you hear Jungkook joining in with you.
“__, you’re the love of my life. You’re my lover, but you’re my best friend most of all. I look back on the times we’ve spent together – a decade. There was no time in those years that I didn’t thank my lucky stars for knowing and meeting you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I really hope you know how much I love you because no matter how hard I try to put it into action and words, no amount of it would tell you how I truly feel.” A pause. Then he took out something from his pocket. Raising his hand, a red velvet box appeared in the frame. He was about to open it when suddenly, your voice is heard behind the camera.
“Jungkook?”
Jungkook quickly pocketed the box, and the camera shook a little, the angle now distorted, probably due to his panic upon hearing your voice.
“Yes, baby?” The audio played.
“You were doing something?”
“Nah. Just trying out my new camera.” Jungkook said.
“Oh. Lemme see.”
The camera got picked up, and Jungkook switched the camera to you.
In your seat, you nibble on your bottom lip upon seeing your own face this time, a poor attempt to stop your jaw from breaking apart because you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling watching the whole thing.
“Pretty girl.” You hear Jungkook say behind the recorder. His hand came up to caress your face in the video, thumb rubbing over your cheek. “I love you.”
You looked confused at first but then you told him, anyway, “I love you too.”
You leaned down, and the video gets switched out to another one of Jungkook on a different day.
“Sorry the video got interrupted by my gorgeous girlfriend.”
You both laugh at that, and as if on cue, your eyes meet – silently acknowledging that you’re thinking the same thing. In that shared glance, it's clear you both understand how things escalated in that moment, that night – how that kiss turned into something more.
“I just wanted to say that, uh, I love her. No, you, I’m talking to you–” He sighed in the clip, and you can’t help but chuckle. “Anyway. I love you. I love you so much, baby. More than anything else in the world. I feel like I don’t say it enough although Taehyung teases me about convulsing if I can’t say it to you for no longer than five minutes – he’s probably right but that’s not the point. What I wanna say is – again – is that, I love you, __. And I want to spend the rest of my lifetime with you. I wanna grow old with you. Spend every day and every night with you. I want us to wake up together every morning, make our breakfast together, go to work together, do laundry together, our taxes – man, I don’t know. Anything. I just want to do anything and everything with you. Maybe adopt a dog in the near future, if you want to, that is. You’re probably gonna be watching this in the theater by this moment – god I hope I don’t fuck the whole thing up, the gang is gonna be so pissed – but I’ll drop the question for you and I know we already talked about it many times before and two months ago you said you were ready if I was also ready. I couldn’t tell you I’ve been ready since the first week we started dating. But I hope… what you felt two months ago is still what you feel right now…”
Then, the big screen fades to black, and suddenly, a few lights in the hall flicker on, illuminating Jungkook—now on his knees. In his hand is a red velvet box, now open, revealing a stunning ring that’s so beautiful it leaves your jaw slack.
He clears his throat. “__, you’re my best friend. Have been and always will be. You’re my home, my partner. I will love you for as long as you let me and–” Jungkook doesn’t mean it but there’s suddenly a lump in his throat that forms along the way and he has to choke it back, making his voice crack a little bit as he looks into your eyes. “– and I really want to live all my remaining years with you and be yours forever.” He bites his lip, looks up at you with those doe eyes you love so much. Then, the question comes, “Can I be your husband?”
“Jungkook…” You look down at him, your mouth opening and closing, lost for words. You’ve passed the point of holding back tears, and when your eyes meet his—so full of sincerity and revere—you completely break. “Y-yes. Yes! One hundred percent yes,” you manage to say through your sobs, nodding fervently as your vision blurs from the tears streaming down your face.
As soon as you say that, all the lights in the room turn on and there’s a holler from the direction of the projection room that you can’t help but look at.
“Congrats!”
You gasp as you see Doyeon and Nayeon. They’re both waving at you with huge grins on their faces. Genuinely surprised and confused at the same time, you start to look around, and suddenly, you realize that everybody is literally… your family. Taehyung, your dad, your mom, your sister and Seokjin all occupy the front rows, and in front of them are Jungkook’s own family as well. From afar, you see Jungkook’s father coming up to give your dad a hug which he reciprocates as they laugh together.
Your eyes are drawn back to Jungkook.
“Jungkook… they’re all here,” you say, struggling to hold back the onslaught of tears. They won’t stop.
And at this point, Jungkook can’t help it. Not anymore. He sees you crying and he can’t help but do it as well. He sniffs, taking your hand and kissing the back of your palm.
“Yes, baby. Everybody is here.”
“Baby, why are you crying?” You ask him despite yourself.
Jungkook chuckles in between his tears, swiping a hand on his eyes. “I’m just so happy. You make me so happy. Thank you. Thank you for saying yes.”
That makes you cry even more, earning another laugh from Jungkook but it’s filled with endearment. Slowly, he takes your hand and you watch teary-eyed as he finally inserts the ring around your ring finger.
The diamond-encrusted band, with a larger diamond glimmering in the center, fits perfectly around your finger. You stare at it in awe, admiring how gorgeous it looks—trying to recall a time when Jungkook measured your finger to make it fit so flawlessly. But you can't remember, and you don't mind at all, instead looking up at him as he stands to his feet.
"I love you, Jungkook. I really do," you say with all the sincerity in your heart, hoping he knows as much.
"I can't wait to marry you," he replies, his voice full of emotion before he pulls you into his arms and leans down to kiss you gently on the lips. It’s soft and it’s sweet just like the love he’s given you all these years.
A cheer erupts around you, and normally, you'd feel shy about kissing in front of your family. But this time, you don’t feel embarrassed at all.
It’s just you and Jungkook. Bound for a lifetime of unadulterated love.
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OMGGGG WELCOME BACK QUEEN!!!!! honestly you can write quite literally ANYTHING (esp hurt/comfort pls pls pls) with jamie bc all your fics are simply immaculate 🫶🏼
THANKS QUEEN. I’m starting off with the most open-ended prompt and let me tell you, ya girl is RUSTY. This took way longer than it should so pls forgive me😅
But yeah requests are still open so ask away!
birds of a feather
The lights are off when you get home, but you don’t bother turning them on. You’re familiar enough with Jamie’s house that you can make your way upstairs and to his bed without looking. You drop your bag, kick off your shoes, and trudge upstairs.
The light’s on in his room but he’s passed out. You smile to yourself despite the day and switch off the lights.
You weren’t going to cry again, really you weren’t, but by the time you’re brushing your teeth, they’re sliding down your face.
But it’s dark, so no one can see.
You slip into bed where you can (hopefully) cry yourself to sleep when a sob escapes your throat.
Another slips out, then another, making it hard to stop and harder to breathe.
“Babe?” comes Jamie’s hoarse voice. “You alright?”
You can feel him reach for the light, so you blindly grab for his arm. “Don’t,” you gasp, “Please, just leave it off.”
Jamie understands what you mean. You’re trying to say, I don’t want you to see me cry.
He shifts so his face is two inches from yours. He’ll be awake in a few hours, but it doesn’t matter at the moment.
“What happened?” he whispers, but he already knows the answer. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but Beard had been running the team ragged in training.
You take a shuddering breath and Jamie’s eyes have adjusted enough where he can wipe away a tear. “Went exactly as expected, didn’t it?” you say. “She did what she always does. Asked for money, was furious when I said no. Asked for advice, was mad when I gave her an answer. Asked me to listen, was upset when I wasn’t giving her solutions. She stormed out after an hour, but not before throwing her wine on me. I ruined the dress you got me, I’m pretty sure we got papped, and I’m really, really sorry.” That’s going to be a lovely article to wake up to in the morning. If Keeley were here, she would be able to come up with a catchy headline for it, rhyming “Tartt,” with something about sisters and WAGs and thrown wine.
But Keeley isn’t here, it’s just you and Jamie, and you can’t help but think it’s too early in your relationship for this.
Really though, you haven’t been together long enough for your name to tarnish his. That’s a milestone that should be passed in ten months. A year, even.
Jamie barely catches himself from asking, “Why do you still see her?” just like everyone has asked him about his father.
Instead he says, “I’m not fuckin’ worried,” and wraps you in his arms.
You exhale and snuggle as close as you can.
It’s times like this where you remember exactly why you’re with him. He just- gets it.
You met him through Keeley. Keeley had been your sister’s friend first, met at a photo shoot, but it was hard to stay friends with your sister. You and Keeley became close while your sister accused you of stealing all her friends.
“Keeley would love to see you,” you had tried to tell her one time in an attempt to keep her from shouting.
“The fuck I would,” Keeley had snorted when you relayed the story hours later.
Keeley’s a genius, really. She took a horrible a vitriolic viral tabloid story about Jamie’s dad and a charity gala, and managed to create this, whatever “this” is.
Jamie’s running his thumb up and down your arm as your breathing evens out.
“Want to go on a run with me and Roy tomorrow?” he asks. “I’ll get you breakfast.”
You whisper back, “I can buy my own breakfast,” and Jamie’s grateful that it’s dark so he can roll his eyes without getting smacked.
“What if I fucking want to get it for you? What then, ey?”
You respond, “Hm,” and then you’re asleep.
—
If Roy’s surprised you’re with Jamie in the morning, he doesn’t show it. He grunts and says, “Don’t think I’m going fucking easy on you, Tartt,” but he sets the warmup at a pace you like before saying, “You’re doing fucking sprints today and I don’t want to hear fucking shit about it.”
He’d never admit it, but Roy’s excellent at reading people. The sprints are so you don’t have to have a single thought inside your head. By the time the sun rises, you’re enjoying coffee on a bench with Roy while Jamie completes his eighty-second pushup.
“Don’t fucking read the fucking Sun,” is the last thing Roy says before leaving to go to his actual work. You grimace, but Jamie takes your hand and swings it the whole way back to his house.
“I’m not going to see her again,” you tell him. He knows you’re lying. He said the same thing about his dad month and a half ago, but he’s going to see him in rehab next week.
Jamie hands you a credit card on his way out the door “to get something fucking hot, babe.”
It won’t change anything and it won’t even fix anything either, but that’s not the point.
The point is he’s looking at you. He sees, he understands, and he’s still there.
You do end up reading the article. It’s complete shit, a made up story about you being a bitch whose newfound celebrity has alienated you from your loving family. Nowhere does it mention that said “loving” family only comes crawling around when they need something. That what they take from you will never be enough.
The fuck did you read that shite for? comes Jamie’s text after you’ve ignored his last five. ik that’s why ur not responfing
Why is your autocorrect never on? you write back instead of answering.
Jamie’s reply is quick: for the aesthetic
You: So you can write “aesthetic,” but have trouble spelling “responding?” Seems strange
Jamie: Sma helpd
Then: *Sam.
You smile, despite yourself. Sometimes you wonder how much of this he does just to get a rise out of you. You suspect it’s more than he lets on, but you’ll let him pretend to be stupid for now.
You check the time. If he’s texting at this hour, it means training’s done. Your finger hovers over the call button for a fraction of a second before pressing it.
Sam picks up on the second ring. “Your boyfriend is hitting Isaac with a towel,” he says, no preamble. “It is chaos.”
“He was just texting me a second ago,” you say.
You can practically hear Sam shrug through the phone. “It escalated quickly. Do you need him? I’m sure they will stop since you’re calling.”
He doesn’t sound too sure, which makes you laugh. “No, it’s all good, can you just tell him-”
You’re interrupted but the muffled sound of the phone being wrestled away from Sam.
“Jamie’s a dickhead,” comes Isaac’s voice far too close to the speaker before there’s vague wrestling again and you hear Jamie, very much out of breath.
“What’s up, babe?” he asks and you don’t even remember why you called him in the first place because you’re smiling too wide.
“I really fucking love you,” you tell him and even though it isn’t the first time you said it, you feel nervous. The good kind, where you know he’s going to say it back and mean it, and that his words are just for you.
Jamie says, “I love you too,” and tries his best to convey a thousand meanings into four words.
“Great,” you say, “because the top Google story for you is me with a giant wine stain on my dress. So I think we should go out tonight and look so hot that everyone forgets all about it. Thoughts?”
Jamie says, “Fucking mint,” then, “fucking ow,” and you can tell by the sounds in the background that Isaac’s gotten him again.
“GottagoloveyouheresSam,” he says in a rush before you hear him practically hurl his phone.
“You have some strange coworkers, Sam,” you comment.
“You have a strange boyfriend,” he retorts, and he’s right. But Jamie’s strange matches your strange, so you think it’ll last.
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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|| Come Back, Come Back To Me
Azriel x Rhys!Sister
|| summary: after hundreds of years in hiding, you decide it’s finally time to come back home
|| warnings: angst with happy ending, crying, fainting, reunions,you’re Rhys’s sister, lemme know if I forgot anything
|| a/n: hii… literally wrote this on a whim. Idk if imma continue it or not but I hope you enjoy it at least a little bit even though it’s blah and super rushed lolol
It was pouring. Your hand failing to shield the rain from blurring your vision. Your shoulders had slumped at the view. After hundreds of years, you had finally made it. The Illyrian Mountains. Almost home. The adrenaline was still pumping through your veins, pushing you to keep going.
Once you had made it to the west end of the Night Court, your body was giving up— begging for rest. Before you could take that last step towards Velaris, the world blurred to black.
Hushed voices stirred you out of your sleep. Blinking your eyes open, adjusting to the light, you noticed the room had gone silent. Once your eyes adjusted, you notice a female with long brown locks and freckles. She was beautiful. You had turned your head to survey the room only to be met with very familiar violet eyes. Gasping, you sat up lunged for the man before you, tackling him in a hug.
“Rhys! Gods, I thought I’d never see you again!”
He pulled me away and held my face. His face filled with grief and confusion.
“This can’t be real. Tell me this is real.”
Tears spilled from my eyes.
“It’s real. I’m home now.”
That all it took for his eyes to water and slide down his face. He pulled me into another hug, tighter than the last.
“I’ve missed you dear sister….I- I thought I had lost you.”
“He almost had me…I barely escaped. He—they’re gone, Rhys…They’re gone!”
I couldn’t control the sobs breaking through my words.
The past week you refused to leave the library and your room. Your excuse was that you wanted to enjoy the peace of not having to hide anymore, but Rhys was too smart for that. He knew you were worried about revealing yourself to Cassian and Azriel. Especially now that the things that made you who you are—now gone. Your wings.
You couldn’t bare the thought of them looking at you differently. You felt helpless. You felt that you were nothing without your wings.
You huff as you pushed a book back into its rightful place, loosing interest in reading at the moment. Gasping, suddenly feeling a chill up your leg. Your eyes darted down, catching a shadow speeding away. Following the shadow with your eyes, you saw the shadow reach its holder. Your breath caught in your throat.
“Azriel.”
You choked out.
He shook his head in disbelief and rushed you into an embrace. Taking in his scent, you held him tighter. A slight tug in your chest had you pulling away and peering into his eyes in fear and confusion.
“You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you….mate.”
A smile reached your eyes as tears spilled down your cheeks.
#azriel acotar#azriel angst#rhysand#azriel x reader#azriel x rhys!sister#angst with a happy ending#azriel shadowsinger#idk what else to tag#x reader
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Protector
Requested by @captaincvans
Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, a little bit of Sam Winchester x little sister!reader
Synopsis: your big brother Dean has always been your protector
It started when you were four years old. Dean answered one of John’s phones, and was shocked to hear your tiny voice on the other end.
“Who is this? How did you get this number?”
“My mommy,” you were sobbing into the phone, and Dean’s heartbeat picked up. Had someone hurt the little girl on the other end? “My mommy said to call if-if bad things happened. She said it was my daddy’s number.”
To say Dean was shocked would be the understatement of the century, but he forced himself to remain calm, if only for the little girl who clearly needed help. John had gone out on a job, and Sam had walked to a nearby store to grab some supplies.
“Ok, well where’s your mommy?”
“The monster…he-he…” you broke down into sobs, and Dean didn’t need to hear anything else.
Dean was usually used to waiting for John’s orders before doing just about anything, but somehow now he knew just what to do. Every instinct inside him screamed to help you from the moment he heard your voice.
He didn’t know then, but that instinct would follow him for the rest of his life.
…
Dean’s relationship with you was different than his with Sam. Dean had practically raised Sam, but he literally raised you. The older the boys got, the more John left them for hunts. And there was the age difference; he was only four years older than Sam, but Dean had already grown up and started hunting by the time you came into his life. And after John died, the two of you became closer than ever, and he took on his role as caretaker even more seriously.
So, needless to say, hunting wasn’t in the cards for you. Of course Dean taught you how to defend yourself, but he knew that once you started hunting, you’d be stuck in that life forever, and that wasn’t a choice he was going to let you make as a teenager.
A part of you always wanted to fight him on it, not because you thought you’d love hunting, but because your big brothers risked their lives on an almost-daily basis, and you wanted to be there to help them. However, it didn’t take long for you to realize that being on a hunt would just put them in more danger; Dean would be so worried about you that he wouldn’t keep his head on straight. You weren’t going to be the reason he got distracted and killed on a hunt.
So you stayed behind.
But that didn’t mean that you were always safe.
…
“Crowley I swear, if you touch one hair on her head-“
“Let me guess, they’ll never find the body?”
“Oh no, they will,” Dean’s fists were clenched so hard, his palms were going numb. “They’ll find it, and they’ll keep finding it. Little bits, everywhere, maybe I’ll even drop you in a couple of different states. I’ll cut you up nice and slow, it’ll take weeks before you’re dead, and that’s if I’m feeling generous enough to let you die at all.”
“My my my, someone is very protective about his little pet. However, your mummy should’ve taught you some manners, because you see…” Dean flinched when he heard your screams over the phone. “I don’t like to be threatened, squirrel.”
“Ok, ok!” Dean relented. Your screams stopped.
“Good. Now, here’s my ultimatum,” Crowley’s voice rose in anger, “If you ever want to see this little runt again, the first thing you’re gonna do, is drop the attitude, and show some respect!” Crowley cleared his throat, and returned to his easygoing, neutral tone. “After all, I am the king of hell. And then, after that, you’re going to stop meddling in my affairs. That’s not so bad, is it?”
Dean was about to throw out a snarky response when your voice broke in.
“Don’t listen to him, Dean. He’s just a liar, he’ll betray y-“ your desperate, frightened voice cut off with a high-pitched scream, and Dean could swear he heard Crowley laughing.
“Now now, darling, that’s not very nice. Name-calling is for children. Oh that’s right,” Crowley’s laughter started up again. “You are a child.”
“Stop it!” Not seeing what was going on was driving Dean insane. He could only imagine what Crowley was doing to you. “Alright, Crowley, you get what you want. Just let her go!”
The screaming stopped again.
“Now, that’s sweet, Dean. But I’m afraid I don’t exactly trust your word. So, I’m going have to keep your little rugrat here for a little longer, just to make sure you make good on your promise. Deal?”
“No no no, Crowley you can’t just-“
“I think we’re done here.”
The click that followed might as well have been an atomic bomb.
…
“We got a location.”
Dean had never jumped up that fast in his entire life.
“Finally, let’s go.”
“Dean, hold on,” Sam placed his hand out, stopping Dean in his tracks. “We don’t know how many demons are guarding it.”
“You know what, Sam? I don’t really care. There could be a thousand demons in there for all I care. She’s in there, so I’m going.” Dean brushed past Sam, who reluctantly followed him into the Impala.
“I’m just saying, it would be nice to have a plan.”
“I have a plan.” Dean peeled out of the driveway and sped along the road.
“The plan is get her back.”
…
You heard them before you saw them. It would be impossible not to; the screaming of demons and the thud as bodies hit the floor wasn’t exactly quiet.
However, when the door burst open, it wasn’t your brothers who came in.
Crowley rushed toward you, his hand outstretched to grab you and teleport you with him. A split second before his hand reached your shoulder, the demon blade whizzed past his ear and struck his arm, throwing him off balance and onto the floor. Before he could get back up, Dean was on him, not even bothering with the knife as he pounded on Crowley’s face. Sam rushed in after him, grabbing Dean by the shoulder and pulling him off.
“That’s enough, Dean! Just use the kni-“
Before either brother could move towards the demon blade, Crowley had disappeared.
“No!” Dean slammed his fist against the wall, and was about to do it again when he heard it.
“Dean?”
Never, not even when you were little, had Dean ever heard you sound so small; so fragile. He turned, his gaze instantly softening, his fists relaxing as he rushed to your side. He quickly untied the ropes holding you to a metal chair, and as soon as you were free you collapsed into his waiting arms.
“You’re ok,” Dean’s eyes stung as he gripped you tightly to him. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”
“Is she ok?” Sam stepped up behind Dean, and Dean reluctantly pulled away to check you for injuries.
There was a gash along your cheek, and he saw several cuts on your arms and legs, but what really worried him was the blood covering the front of your shirt.
“Baby, can you…” Dean touched the pool of blood dripping down your stomach. You lifted your shirt a few inches, and he saw a deep cut running along your ribs. Blood was still gushing freely from the cut, and Dean quickly removed his top layer of flannel, pressing it against the wound.
Sam flinched when you cried out, and Dean winced.
“I know, I know it hurts honey. I need you to hold it there, though.” You took the shirt from him and he nodded, “Yeah, good, press it tight.” He glanced around one more time to be sure no demons were coming, before he scooped you into his arms. You cried out again when he jostled you, and he tried to ignore you as he turned to Sam.
“You gotta watch my back, I’ve got her, but I don’t know if there are any more demons still here.”
Sam nodded, taking the demon blade.
“Alright, I’ll drive.”
…
“Do we need to take her to a hospital?” Sam glanced to the back of the Impala, where your head was resting in Dean’s lap as he held his shirt against your cut.
“I’m ok,” your voice was quiet, almost sleepy.
“We should take her in,” Dean insisted.
“It doesn’t look like she’s lost that much blood,” Sam hesitantly argued.
“Dean, I’m ok,” you turned your gaze from your injury to your big brother. “Really, just stitch me up. I’ll be fine.”
Dean relented hesitantly, mostly because he didn’t put it past Crowley to try to alert local authorities to all the bodies he’d left in his wake saving you. The last thing you needed was to be stuck in a hospital while Sam and Dean got arrested.
“Alright, ok. But you gotta stay awake, understand?”
You were silent for a few seconds, and when your voice lifted he could hear the tears you were trying to hold back.
“He wouldn’t let me sleep.”
Dean felt the white-hot anger rising in him, but he forced it down.
“You…but you were gone for three days.”
“I know. But ev-every time I tried to sleep…” you picked at one of the cuts, and Dean got the picture. He glanced up to see Sam gripping the steering wheel with all his might, his knuckles turning snow-white.
“I’m sorry,” Dean’s soft voice was only beat by the softness in his eyes as he looked down at you. “I’m so sorry. But you gotta stay awake just a little bit longer, I’m sorry.”
You knew he wasn’t just apologizing for that.
“Dean, it’s not your fault.”
He turned to look out the window, and you knew he didn’t believe you.
“Dean,” you tried to raise your voice, but it just sent you into a fit of coughing. His head whipped back to look at you, and he squeezed his hand under your head, lifting you up a little so you could breathe.
“Honey, don’t talk, don’t talk. You’re ok, just breathe.”
“Dean,” you took a deep breath, “Dean it’s not. It’s not your fault-“
“Shh, shh,” he insisted, eyes flitting nervously over your face. “Kiddo please, don’t talk.”
“Then say it.”
Dean sighed, and you knew he wouldn’t mean it, but you wanted him to say it anyway.
“It wasn’t my fault.”
…
“I’m sorry,” Dean winced when you sucked in a breath, trying desperately to stay still as he sewed you up.
“I’m ok,” you insisted.
“Ok, I’m done,” Dean tied off the last stitch, and you hesitantly stood and headed to your bathroom to shower off the blood that was all but covering you.
Dean sat on your bed while you were gone, staring down at the blood on his hands, disgusted but somehow unable to get up to wash it off.
He stayed there until you returned, a clean shirt and your pajama pants on. You stepped up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again. You tugged on his arm without speaking, and he followed you mechanically as you pulled him into your bathroom.
You turned on the sink water and guided his hands under the flow, rubbing his hands until they were clean and your blood was running down the drain. You handed him a soft towel, and he slowly dried his hands.
The two of you stood there in silence, unsure of whether to move or not. Then suddenly, the two of you moved in sync. He opened his arms just as you moved towards him, and he wrapped you into his arms. One of his hands cradled the back of your head, while the other rested on the small of your back. You felt his chin rest on the top of your head, his arms tightening around you.
“I’m so sorry,” he choked.
You wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but you knew that you could scream it til doomsday and Dean still wouldn’t believe it. So instead you said what he needed to hear.
“I’m ok.”
…
You weren’t the only one who hadn’t been able to sleep during your captivity, and you knew it. Dean looked horrible, his eyes dark and his hair greasy and sticking out in strange angles. You didn’t think you could convince him to eat or shower, not yet at least. He hadn’t left your side in the hour since you got back, and you figured he would want to watch over you while you slept.
So, if you couldn’t make him eat, you figured you at least knew a way to make him sleep.
You let him tuck you into your bed before grabbing onto his arm as he turned to go.
“Stay with me,” you insisted. He nodded and reached to grab a chair.
“No, with me,” you lifted a corner of the blanket. Dean didn’t speak, he just climbed in next to you and let you lean against his arm.
After a few minutes, Dean’s breathing evened out and you smiled.
He was your protector, always.
But maybe there was some ways that you could save him, too.
#dean winchester x you#the winchester brothers#dean winchester x reader#spn sam winchester#dean winchester#dean and sam#dean winchester x sister!reader#dean x you#dean x reader#sam and dean#sam x sister!reader#supernatural sam#sam winchester x you#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x y/n#supernatural dean#supernatural
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Remember Your Place
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Raymond Leon x reader
Summary | Raymond finally gives you attention, but not the kind you’ve been craving.
Warnings | Smut, boot licking, discipline, punishment, grinding, humiliation, degradation, facials, orgasm denial.
Words | 1k
Notes | It’s the way that it literally took me a million years to figure out what gif to use 😭 and even then I still don’t love it lmao
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
Kinktober | day 4: boot licking + discipline/punishment
“I’m busy.” He gritted, quickly losing patience.
“But it’s been hours.” You whined obnoxiously. Raymond promised he’d give you some attention hours ago, but he hasn’t moved from his desk.
“Come here.” You immediately stiffened when you heard that tone— the one that always ends with you being punished.
“N-no.. I can wait.” You said weakly, taking a step back.
“Come here.”
You bit your lip and pouted a little, trying not to audibly whine. When he raised his brows impatiently, you tentatively walked further into the room, stopping a safe distance away from him.
“Get under the desk.” He commanded, moving his chair back just enough for you to slip under. At least he wasn’t going to take you over his lap, but you were still nervous about what he had planned. Once you were in position, he extended his leg, his boot going between your thighs. “I’m going to finish my work and you’re going to grind on my boot. If you make a single sound or stop before I tell you to, you won’t get any orgasms for a week. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” You said quietly, pouting when you realized he actually wasn’t going to finally give you attention. He rolled the chair closer to the desk to continue working, effectively trapping you under it. You mounted his boot with a blush and started slowly rocking your hips, trying not to whine or moan.
He had you doing this for what felt like hours. Your legs were quivering, your knees were hurting from the wood floor, your clit was starting to burn from all the friction, and your pussy was aching, desperately needing to be filled. You wanted to ask how much longer or tell him that you needed a break, but Raymond never bluffed when it came to punishments.
You mostly kept your arms wrapped around his leg and your chin or cheek on his thigh. Usually he would’ve pet your hair in this position, but it was like you weren’t even there.
Finally, once your movements started to falter because your legs were giving out, he rolled the chair back again.
“Less than two hours and you’re already giving up?” He asked mockingly, making you frown. Your brows scrunched together and you shook your head in response, not sure if you were allowed to talk yet. He grabbed your cheeks in one hand and pulled you up until your face was level with his stomach, lifting you off his boot as well.
“I think we need another lesson in respect and obedience. When I tell you I’m busy working, what do you do?”
“I wait until you’re done, sir.” You said obediently.
“That’s right.” He stared down at you, his cold gaze making you shiver. “Who do you belong to?”
“You, sir.” You whispered and his hand suddenly released your face to strike your cheek, a loud, resounding slap filling the room.
“Speak up.” He growled, roughly fisting your hair to turn you back toward him.
“You! I belong to you, sir.” You sobbed, feeling so overwhelmed with pain and the burning need for release. When he leaned down over you and spat on your face, you closed your eyes with a whimper, prompting him to slap you again.
“Take off your panties.” He demanded, making you falter. You averted your gaze as a dark blush painted your cheeks. He pulled his leg away from you and looked down at his boot, scoffing at the glistening leather. With his grip on your hair, he forcefully pushed your head down until your face was hovering over his shoe. “Clean up your mess, whore.”
You let out a choked sob and he released you to lean back in the chair. Knowing he would only get more impatient, you reluctantly stuck your tongue out and began licking his boot. The leather mixed with your arousal was a terrible combination, but you forced yourself to keep going.
When you heard a zipper and then some movement, you tried to look up to see what he was doing, but you couldn’t see anything at this angle. You could, however, hear him spit on his hand and start slowly stroking his cock. You mewled quietly, but that went ignored by him… as did your squirming.
“Clean the other one while you’re at it.” He ordered. You whined loudly in displeasure, not wanting this humiliation to get even worse. But you knew you had to obey if you wanted to save yourself from further punishment.
Once you started licking his other boot, the previous one lifted and settled on the back of your head, pushing your face into the smooth leather that was already slick with your spit. You let out a strangled whimper, but he just pushed down harder.
“Maybe this will help you remember your place.” He commented offhandedly.
He didn’t move his boot from the back of your head for a while, but finally, he was pulling you back up, keeping his hand in your hair as he rapidly fisted his cock in front of your face. When you moaned and tried to surge forward, he tightened his grip and yanked you back almost painfully. “Disobedient sluts don’t get the privilege of sucking my cock.” He spat, making you whine quietly. His pace got impossibly faster while more and more sounds started slipping out and you had to squeeze your thighs together to try and alleviate the ache between them.
When the first rope of come shot out and landed on your face, you were startled, but you quickly recovered and opened your mouth, hoping to catch some on your tongue. He grunted quietly as he painted your face with his seed, making you moan wantonly. Once his orgasm finally finished, he let out a satisfied breath and panted for a moment, releasing his cock and loosening his grip on your hair.
“Go clean yourself up.” He ordered gruffly, voice still thick with arousal.
“But…” Your cunt was still aching— Was he really just going to leave you like this? “Sir..” You whimpered pitifully.
“You’re already not coming today. Keep it up and I’ll make it tomorrow too.” You frowned in response, but lifted yourself onto shaky legs to go do what he said, not wanting to risk prolonging your much needed relief any further.
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❥・word count: 25.5k ❥・genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, single dad kun, single mom reader, there is some angst but not between reader and kun, more-so around them in terms of like life events ❥・warnings: cursing, kid on kid violence (biting lol) ❥・extra info: people are called ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ in this so if u can’t be normal abt that maybe skip this one ❥・author’s note: omggg it’s finally here! this one has been a wip for like literally like 1.5 yrs i think? anyway im absolutely in love w single dad kun in this one, and i hope u guys fall in love w him too 🫶
“Mr. Qian, I’m failing to see how this is any of your concern.”
“Because you’re treating my kid like he’s a felon.”
“Well yours treated mine like a chew toy so excuse me for exercising some caution,” you finally snapped, tightening your grip around your son and cradling the back of his head.
PART I: moments turn to dreams within my mind
Woobin had always been a kid with big feelings, from big smiles to big tears, and as his mom you encouraged him to feel those big feelings when they came. Your older cousin often warned you that you were raising a “crybaby,” but you brushed off her attempts at parenting advice. You’d rather have your Woobin and all his softness than her kid who screamed and threw his monster trucks at the wall at the slightest provocation.
But that didn’t make it any easier for you to walk in and see your son bawling by himself in the corner of his classroom when you went to pick him up from preschool that afternoon. You immediately skirted around a couple other kids and parents to kneel down beside him, feeling your heart breaking as you rubbed his back, “Binnie, Binnie, hey, hey, hey. Mommy’s here.”
You caught the three-year-old by the underarms before he could throw his arms around your neck. His face was bright red, eyes puffy from clearly how hard he had been crying, and snot and spit coated his chin.
“Wait a second, Binnie, I know,” you kept your voice level and calm despite how frantic you felt. “Is it a scary cry or a boo-boo cry?”
It took him several deep inhales and sniffling exhales before he could sob out, “Scary and boo-boo cry, Mommy!”
“Oh, baby,” you immediately enfolded him in your arms, cradling him to your chest gently. “What hurts, Binnie? Can you show me the boo-boo?”
It was then that one of his teachers finally joined you, an apologetic look on her face, “Ms. Y/N, I am so sorry. We would have called, but it happened right before the end of the school day.”
“What happened?”
“Woobin had an incident with another friend.”
“An incident? What sort of incident?” You looked around for another crying kid, expecting that they both had gotten hurt doing something together.
Woobin had just pulled up the left sleeve of his whale patterned longsleeve shirt when his teacher explained to you, “Woobin got bit.”
And there, on your son’s upper arm was the bright red imprint of teeth marks. In fact, it seemed to have been so recent that you could still see the indents in his skin. You were filled with such a burning, white hot rage that your skin tingled and if you weren’t already holding Woobin, you think you would’ve swung on someone. You liked to consider yourself a level-headed person, in control of your emotions, but it was practically all out the window in that moment.
“He got bit?” You repeated her phrasing incredulously. “You mean another kid bit him.”
“I understand that this can be upsetting—”
“How did this happen?” You demanded, pulling Woobin’s sleeve back down and wrapping your arms around him tighter. “What were you doing?”
“Ma’am, I think it would be best for all of us to have a discussion about this together.”
“All of us? Including the biter’s parents? I want to know what you are going to do to make sure my child is safe at your preschool before I even think about bringing him back here, much less have some mediation like he’s at fault as much as the kid who bit him.”
The teacher paused, as if waiting to see if you were done, before speaking again, “Ms. Y/N, it is our policy in such incidents to have a meeting between school personnel and the guardians of both involved children, regardless of... injury. In order for Woobin to keep his spot, you two are required to attend this meeting. We understand if you wish to seek out different accommodations for him, however, we’ve found that all parties are typically satisfied with the outcome of this process. I highly encourage you try it, and if you still want to pull Woobin from our program after, that is of course your decision as his mother.”
Your chest was heaving as you took deep breaths, clenching your jaw as you stared her down. After a few moments of deliberation and listening to your son’s continued sobs, you let out a short and bitter sigh, “When would this meeting be?”
“After school tomorrow. Will you be available then?”
“Fine. Yes,” you stood up with your boy still in your arms, shifting him onto your hip. “But Woobin will not be at school tomorrow.”
“He will be missed,” she nodded with that same placid smile.
As you stalked out of the classroom, you passed by a father and son speaking to the other teacher.
The next day, you dropped Woobin off at your parents’ place with a peck on his forehead and profuse ‘thank you’s to them. You had vented to your mother on the phone the night prior, after putting your son to bed, finally letting loose all the obscenities that you had wanted to in the preschool. Your mom gladly took her grandson for the day before shooing you off to work.
You then had to leave work a little early to pick Woobin up from your parents’ to take him to the preschool since the meeting was to take place right after the school day ended. For some godforsaken reason that escaped you, they required the kids to be in attendance at the meeting too. As if your three-year-old was really going to be testifying about the entire situation. The most him being there could accomplish was prove that he had a bite mark, which a picture on your phone could also do.
After a “give ‘em hell” from your mom, and an offer to come along from your dad, which you contemplated for a moment, then declined, you started for the school. While your dad coming along would make you feel better, it would also make you feel like you were buying your first car again and were afraid of the salesman trying to scam you for being a woman. This was a meeting about the welfare and treatment of your son, you could do this.
Standing in the lobby with some other parents who were milling around, waiting for the respective classrooms to announce they were ready for pick-up, you found yourself tapping your foot impatiently. The 1-year-olds picked up first, then the 2-year-olds. As those families filtered out, you were left with only a few parents, as this section of the school only went up to 3-year-olds. The 4-year-olds went to a different wing of the building for VPK, and you knew that the other buildings on the rather expansive campus held an elementary, middle, and even high school.
You felt Woobin shift in your arms to get comfortable, and readjusted him to your other hip, “Sorry, Binnie, I know you’re tired.”
“Do you two want to sit?” A voice spoke up from behind you.
You turned around and had to look down at a man in a suit sitting on one of the padded benches in the lobby. He was presumably some kind of businessman from the nice upkeep and fit of his suit, even as he had loosened the tie a little bit for being off of work. His handsome, friendly smile would’ve made your heart skip a beat on any other day, if you weren’t on a mission today.
All of the seating had been taken up when you got there, and you didn’t even think to look around for open spots as other parents started to leave.
The man shifted to one end, gesturing towards the open spots that could fit probably three adults comfortably. You smiled at him gratefully, “Oh, yes, thank you.”
You sat down, keeping your sleepy Woobin on your lap. Being at his grandparents’ today had thrown off his usual nap schedule, and you rubbed his back soothingly. Rolling up his sleeve which was on the side opposite from the man, you inspected the bite mark. It had blossomed into a rather gnarly bruise overnight, all blue and purple, and it only made anger churn again in your chest. He hadn’t given any indication that it still hurt as you fixed his sleeve, thumb tenderly swiping over the area after.
Finally, the three-year-old class was dismissed for pick-up, and the other parents gathered their children. You hung back, waiting for all of them to filter out, before you approached the classroom. You figured the parents of the biter would still be in there, but hadn’t expected the man who had offered you a seat to be the one there with another little boy and the teachers.
“Wonderful, everyone is here,” Mrs. Chen, the older of the two teachers, announced.
“Qian Kun.” The man took it upon himself to do the introductions, bowing to you politely. He then ruffled the hair of the boy standing beside him, just above knee-height, “And this is my son Junyi. I am deeply sorry for Junyi biting Woobin, Miss…?”
“Y/L/N Y/N,” you half-nodded half-bowed back to him as best you could with Woobin in your arms. “And before we get into all that, what I really want to know is—” You rounded on the teachers. “How this could have even happened.”
Ms. Xu, the younger teacher with whom you had spoken yesterday, opened a door on the far side of the classroom, “Of course. We’ll be having the meeting in here.”
With a short sigh at how your question was once again brushed off, you stepped into the interior office space. It looked like it must be where the teachers took their breaks and did any sort of administrative work. A few desks were against the walls, closed laptops and bags set on a couple of them. There was a table set up in the middle, four chairs around it, and a small area with toys off to the side.
“We have a place over there for the children to play while we discuss,” Ms. Xu smiled, gesturing to the toys you’d spotted when you walked in.
Mr. Qian nodded, gently directing his son towards them, “Go on and play for a bit, Junyi. Daddy’s going to talk right over here, okay?”
Junyi toddled over and plopped himself down on the playmat, picking up a truck and doll, easily entertaining himself. The other three adults looked to you and your son expectantly.
“Thank you, but Woobin is going to be staying with me,” you informed them. All the talking had made Woobin stir, but he seemed rather content in your arms anyway, simply looking between all the adults with big, curious eyes.
“Ms. Y/L/N, I assure you, I had a talk with Junyi last night and again this morning about not biting our friends. He shouldn’t be doing that anymore.”
“And I assure you, Mr. Qian, my concerns are not about your parenting,” you told him frankly. “But Woobin will be remaining with me for the duration of this meeting.”
“Ms. Y/L/N, really, Woobin will be fine with Juny—”
“Mr. Qian, I’m failing to see how this is any of your concern.”
“Because you’re treating my kid like he’s a felon.”
“Well yours treated mine like a chew toy so excuse me for exercising some caution,” you finally snapped, tightening your grip around your son and cradling the back of his head.
Mr. Qian’s jaw dropped, and Mrs. Chen cut in before he could say anything else.
“Let’s all sit down and try to have a more productive discussion.” The words were phrased like a suggestion, but the stern tone she said them in very much let you know that they weren’t. “Ms. Y/L/N, Woobin can of course be wherever you are most comfortable having him.”
You nodded to her curtly, taking a seat at the table. With Woobin more awake, you turned him in your lap to face the table, and set up a couple toys and small games on the tabletop to keep him occupied. The teachers took a seat beside each other, leaving you and Mr. Qian sitting caddy-corner.
“First, I want to know what happened,” you demanded, entirely focused on the two teachers.
Ms. Xu took over the explaining, “The class had earned free play yesterday after finishing their curriculum work early. After, we were doing our end of the day clean-up activities, which all of the students help with. Junyi and Woobin were assigned to pick up toys this week. It seems there was a disagreement about who was going to be putting away a specific toy, a whale. Woobin was bit.”
You clenched your jaw at that passive phrasing again. “And where were you two when this was going on?”
“Mrs. Chen was assisting the students who were cleaning the snack tables on the other side of the room. I was the one overseeing the students tidying that side of the room.”
“What do you mean when you say disagreement? I’m trying to understand how it was allowed to escalate into biting.”
Mr. Qian finally spoke up again, “Ms. Y/L/N, Junyi has never done anything like this before, I honestly don’t know where this came from. He’s not a mean kid.”
“Mr. Qian, that is not what I said nor asked,” you turned to him coolly. “I want to know what exactly she was seeing and how much time she had to intervene.”
Ms. Xu recalled, “The two of them were getting along fine. Junyi did seem to be getting a little frustrated, and Woobin was beginning to tear up, but there was no contact at that point, and we know how Woobin is.”
She glanced at the boy on your lap with a sympathetic look, and it took everything in you to hold back your revulsion at her. Yes, your son was quicker to cry than others, but that didn’t mean that as the adult, she shouldn’t investigate what exactly was making him cry.
“I was keeping an eye on the situation to see if they would resolve it on their own,” she tried to reassure you. “If I had thought that it would escalate like that at all, I promise I would have intervened. The contact was entirely unexpected and very sudden.”
“The biting.” You clarified flatly.
“Well, yes,” she nodded. “As soon as I saw it happen, both Mrs. Chen and I went over and separated the two. It was no more than a second or two at most, Ms. Y/N.”
“It sounds like you two did the best you could’ve,” Mr. Qian told the teachers before turning to you once more. “Ms. Y/L/N, again, I am so sorry that Junyi did this, but it sounds like it really did come out of nowhere.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply to recenter yourself. Entirely ignoring Mr. Qian’s platitudes, you looked at the teacher, “It took you just a second or two to separate them?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“Binnie, may I?” You murmured to your son, reaching for the sleeve of his shirt.
“Okay, Mommy,” he easily let go of his toy for you.
Rolling up the longsleeve of his shirt you turned him a little to show off the deep black, blue, and purple bruise in the perfect shape of a set of little teeth to the other three adults sitting around the table with you. Ms. Xu audibly gasped, Mrs. Chen covered her mouth and looked away, and Mr. Qian had the most visceral reaction, grimacing with his whole upper body as if he’d been slapped.
“I simply find it hard to believe that it was only a mere one or two seconds when my son’s arm looks like this now,” you stated, making firm eye contact with both teachers. “So, I will ask again: How long did it take you to separate them?”
Mrs. Chen and Ms. Xu exchanged uncomfortable looks before the older woman took over speaking.
“Ms. Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve had experience with removing a child that’s bitten onto another and won’t let go, but you can’t simply rip them apart without causing further damage to the other child’s skin. Ms. Xu couldn’t separate them on her own, she had to wait for me to get there, and as we’ve already said, I was on the other side of the classroom. So yes, it did take longer than we would have liked to separate the two.”
“So it took longer than two seconds, which is what you just told me, twice. You have lied to me twice now about how my child got injured in your classroom.” You rolled Woobin’s sleeve back down, absentmindedly patting his head. Leaning forward as much as you could with him there, you jutted your pointer finger decidedly into the tabletop outside of his toys, “So now I want to know what you and the school are going to do to ensure my son’s safety in your classroom.”
The father beside you suddenly jolted into action at your words, “Ms. Y/L/N, Junyi won’t—”
You rounded on him incredulously, doing your best to both be firm while not absolutely losing it on him, “Mr. Qian, I have already told you that I am not here to concern myself with how you parent your child. And I think the fact that you take my concern for my own child’s wellbeing as an affront to your relationship with yours says more than I would ever think is appropriate for me to.”
Okay, maybe you lost it on him a little.
With him sufficiently dumbfounded, you were able to focus back on the school staff in front of you, “Now please, can we get back to the topic at hand? I want to know what you two plan on doing about classroom management and observing the children under your care to prevent future incidents like this from happening. And I want it written down in a formal document, with assurances from your superiors about how both that and your staff training on communication with parents will be handled, because it certainly can’t include lying to them.”
Ms. Xu looked down at her lap guiltily, while Mrs. Chen simply looked disgruntled. You held the older woman’s gaze steadily, having a distinct feeling that little lie you’d been told was her doing, and the junior teacher was following her own superior’s lead.
“Of course, Ms. Y/N. I will call the principal right now to aid in drawing up the document you’ve requested,” Mrs. Chen acquiesced, standing up and moving over to one of the desks, picking up the landline phone sitting there.
You nodded to her, finally letting your eyes drop down to your kid in your lap. You were unable to fight off the smile that spread across your lips as you looked at your son, picking up one of his hands and bringing it up to your mouth to kiss his little fingers.
“My turn Mommy!” He squealed, grabbing one of your fingers and giving it a comically loud smooch.
You could feel Mr. Qian’s gobsmacked stare on you still, but ignored him. You’d done what you came here to do, none of which involved making nice with the biter’s parents. While what you’d said about not wanting to comment on his parenting was true, that didn’t mean that you hadn’t formed a silent opinion or two about it, especially with how defensive he was. Needless to say, with how he’d attempted to handle this, you didn’t really think very highly of Mr. Qian.
After leaving the mediation with your own copy of the formal plan on how the three-year-old classroom’s management and safety procedures were going to be tweaked—with specific policies about biting and inter-student de-escalation—and a form that you and Mr. Qian had signed attesting that you participated in and were satisfied with the mediation process, you paused in the lobby of the school. You were juggling too many things: the papers, some of Woobin’s toys, Woobin, your purse, all while trying to get your car keys.
“Hey, you need some help?”
You turned to Mr. Qian with a strained smile, “No, thank you, we’re okay.”
Considering the conversation over, you went to set Woobin down on the ground, “Here, Binnie, wait right here next to Mommy.”
“Oh, glad to see his legs do work.” The man was apparently still there.
“Yes, they do.” You pressed your lips into a flat line, not very amused. “And I don’t appreciate the passive-aggressive comment on my parenting, Mr. Qian.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Your joke was referencing the fact that the entire time you’ve seen Woobin and me this afternoon, I’ve been either carrying him or holding him in my lap, despite the fact that he can stand on his own. You’ve been letting your son walk on his own all afternoon and haven’t picked him up once. Thus, implying that I’m coddling my son and raising him to be dependent on me, while you’re raising yours to be independent.” You tossed Woobin’s toys into your purse, then folded the papers in half to tuck in as well. “Trust me, I’ve dealt with lots of people thinking they can give me unwarranted advice on parenting. Especially men who think I’m going to give him one too many hugs and he’ll develop an Oedipus complex. They also presumably think that my uterus is roaming around my body causing me to become hysterical while I’m telling them off, too.”
Having finally fished your car keys out from the bottom of your purse, you hoisted Woobin back up into your arms, defiantly making eye contact with the father, “Goodbye, Mr. Qian.”
A couple weeks of uneventfully picking up Woobin from preschool passed by. You saw Mr. Qian in the lobby, or passed by him in the classroom, of course. But you made no moves to talk to or even acknowledge him, nor he you. Ms. Xu seemed genuinely apologetic about what happened, doing everything possible to ingratiate herself to you at every opportunity, chatting you up at pick-up, asking about your day at work, or telling you about how well Woobin did at curriculum or art or such during the day. Mrs. Chen was cordial, and did your requested weekly check-ins on how the implementation of the new procedures were coming along. You sincerely engaged with and thanked her after each update. After all, you wanted your relationship with your son’s teachers to be productive, not adversarial. As long as they were done lying to you.
Today when you went to pick up Woobin, he was contently sitting in his chair at a table, swinging his feet under him. You squatted down beside him, mussing up his hair a bit, “Hey, Binnie. Have a good day?”
“Yes,” he nodded, reaching out towards you, and you grabbed his hand. “Missed Mommy.”
“And I missed Binnie!” You replied, squeezing his little tummy, delighting in the bright little giggle he let out. “Now come on, bubbles, let’s go home.”
“Oh, Ms. Y/N!” Ms. Xu was suddenly at your side before you could stand up.
“Ah, hello, Ms. Xu, how are you?”
“I’m very excited, actually. But first, Woobin had a fantastic day at school today. He went down so easy for naptime, and he finished the curriculum so fast that we brought out a 4-year-old worksheet for him just to see, and he did that one too! It was some counting, and he did great!”
You turned to your son with a grin, “Did you have fun doing all that counting, Binnie?”
He nodded enthusiastically.
“And are you proud of yourself, bubbles?”
“Yes, Mommy. Can I have a high five?”
“You can have two high fives,” you held out both your palms for him to smack his little hands into.
Turning back to the teacher, you indulged her in the question she very clearly wanted you to ask, “And why are you so excited, Ms. Xu?”
She handed you the piece of paper in her hands, “Well, the Fall Festival is coming up. The entire campus pitches in to put it on, and this year the preschool is running the Bake Sale table. We’re asking parents to volunteer to either bring treats, set up, break down, or do a shift running the table. If you’re able.”
It looked like you were the first parent Ms. Xu had given the sign-up sheet to, all the slots were empty. Eight slots to bring different baked goods, and two slots for each hour-long shift. While you weren’t exactly feeling charitable to the school—Woobin’s bruise still hadn’t fully healed—you noticed the text at the top of the sign-up sheet advertising that any parent who volunteered would get two free ride tickets. Woobin hadn’t gone on his first Ferris Wheel yet, and that was a memory you were looking forward to making with him.
“The ride tickets—” You tapped that part of the paper to draw Ms. Xu’s attention to it. “Will there be a Ferris Wheel?”
Her face immediately lit up and she nodded fervently, “Yes! And Woobin should be just big enough as long as he sits in your lap.”
Well, you could kill an hour running a Bake Sale table with another random preschooler’s parent then take Woobin on the Ferris Wheel. You quickly scribbled down your name for the first hour after the set-up shift, then handed the paper back to Ms. Xu.
The day of the Fall Festival was upon you, and you were holding Woobin’s hand as you walked across the expansive campus grounds. The booth where the preschool’s Bake Sale was set up was near the other food and carnival games towards the front of the grassy clearing, and you could see the Ferris Wheel at the very back. You were about fifteen minutes early, and most vendors were still finishing setting up. Since you were doing the first shift, you wanted to make sure you weren’t late, as well as see if there was anything from set up that you could help with if needed.
The Bake Sale booth was easy to find, and you saw two men there carrying in large tubs filled with containers of various baked goods.
“Good morning!” You greeted them brightly. “Are you the set-up crew?”
“Johnny Suh,” the taller of the two gestured to himself, then to his companion, “Jeong Jaehyun.”
“Nice to meet you two, I’m Y/L/N Y/N, and this is Woobin. I’m on the first shift. Your kids are in the three-year-old class as well, right?”
“Yes, Sungchan,” Mr. Jeong confirmed with a smile. “I think I’ve seen you around the classroom at drop off and pick up before.”
“And Mark is my boy,” Mr. Suh nodded, then looked around the property. “Well, these are the last of it. Now, he should be around here somewhere…”
You followed Mr. Suh’s gaze, and your stomach dropped as you recognized two familiar figures approaching the table from the direction of the school. Qian Kun was holding a metal box in one hand, and his son’s hand with the other. He set the metal box down on the table.
“Sorry, had to get the money box from Mrs. Chen in the classroom,” he explained, then looked to the two men with you. “Thank you, Mr. Suh, Mr. Jeong. Ms. Y/L/N and I have got it from here.”
“Alright, we’ll see you at the end for break-down, then,” Mr. Suh slapped Mr. Qian’s shoulder in a friendly gesture.
“Goodbye, Ms. Y/L/N, Mr. Qian. You too, Woobin and Junyi!” Mr. Jeong gave waves to all four of you before taking off after the other man who was already several long strides away from the table. “Hey, Johnny!”
Two pop-up chairs were set up behind the table, and Mr. Qian grabbed a bag that was beside one, unfurling a playmat from the inside and laying it down on the ground beside the table. He poured out a bunch of toys too, then squatted down beside his son.
“Alright, Junyi, I need you to look at me. Daddy needs you to play on this blanket today, okay? If you need to go off the blanket, you have to tell Daddy first. It’s so we can stay safe. You cannot leave the blanket without telling Daddy. All your favorite toys are there, you’re going to play with them and have fun. I’ve got snacks and stuff, too. But you need to stay on it. Do you understand, Junyi?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Okay, can you please tell me what you’re going to do then?”
“I’m going to play on the blanket.”
“And what if you want to leave?”
“I ask Daddy.”
“Why?”
Junyi’s face screwed into a pout as he tried to remember. “I forgot, ‘m sorry…”
“That’s okay, buddy. It’s so we can be safe,” Mr. Qian repeated it for him. “Now, why are we going to stay on the blanket?”
“So we can be safe.”
“Good, buddy,” He ruffled his son’s hair. “Now go play, I’ll be right here at this table.”
The man stood up straight again, his eyes flicking over you briefly as he began organizing the sweets on the table.
“Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N. Woobin is welcome to play on the mat with Junyi during the shift, if you’re comfortable with that, of course.”
“Oh, thank you.” You led Woobin over to the mat as well. “Binnie, Mommy is going to be working for a while at this table. Your job is to stay on the playmat with Junyi, so that you two can stay safe, okay? You cannot leave the playmat without Mommy.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
“So tell me, what are you going to do?”
“Play with Junyi.”
“Where?”
“On the playmat.”
“Can you show Mommy what all the playmat is?”
He pointed to the edges of the yellow and blue blanket for you.
“And are you going to leave it without Mommy?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“So I can be safe.”
You grinned at him, “Thank you, bubbles. Go play, baby. Call for Mommy if you need me, okay?”
“Okay.”
After depositing a few more toys that you had brought along for Woobin on the mat, you returned to where Mr. Qian was setting out the food.
“Here,” he held a tray of brownies out to you. “These will go there, right in front of you.”
“Oh, got it.” You set them down exactly where he gestured. “So, you signed up for set up and the first shift?”
“I’m actually helping to run the Bake Sale, so I’m setting up, breaking down, and filling in for whichever slots nobody signed up for.”
“Wait, did you bake these, too?”
“Only the ones in containers with the green lids. Other parents contributed too.”
You looked over the baked goods he had indicated. All the ones in the green containers looked the best, you had considered in the back of your mind that one of the richer parents might have just bought them from a bakery and brought them in instead of baking themselves.
Sneaking a glance at the man beside you, you then panicked when you realized that he was already looking at you, expectantly holding out a plate of frosted sugar cookies.
“Here, next to the brownies.”
“Right, on it.”
Mr. Qian cleared his throat, “I am surprised, Ms. Y/L/N… that you’re allowing Woobin to play with Junyi.”
“I’ve also allowed him back at school for the past month, Mr. Qian.” You pointed out. “As I said, my issue has never been with Junyi, but with how the school handled the entire situation.”
“Hm.”
You let out a short sigh, “Though, I am sorry for some of the things I said at that meeting, they were out of line.”
“Some? May I inquire about which ones?”
“The chew toy thing…”
“Oh, yes.”
“And the whole ‘my concern over my child’s safety not being an affront to your relationship with yours.’ That was seriously… awful of me. Just so pretentious,” you breathed out, feeling ashamed as you relived your words. But if you were to ever expect to teach your son humility and owning up to his mistakes, you had to practice it yourself. “I said I wasn’t there to comment on your parenting and then I did exactly that in the exact same breath. I’m sorry, Mr. Qian, and I hope you can believe me when I say that.”
He held your gaze steadily, “I forgive you, Ms. Y/L/N.”
“Everything else I said, though, I stand by,” you reaffirmed pointedly.
“I understand,” he nodded.
You were pretty sure the festival had officially opened, as families had begun filtering in. Some were slowing down as they passed by your table to skim their eyes over your offerings, but none had stopped so far. So you were still just stuck there with Qian Kun and the overwhelming silence that felt like it was damn near suffocating you.
“So, what do you do for a living?” You finally decided to ask. If you weren’t going to be holding a grudge against the guy, you might as well make small talk.
“I’m in sales.”
Okay, small talk was not his forte. This was going to be like pulling teeth.
“Well it seems like they put the Bake Sale table in good hands, then.”
“What about you?” At least he understood reciprocity.
“Publishing.” Yeah, you weren’t any better than him. You stumbled to add on more information, “Uh, I’m a copy editor.”
“Is that like a proof reader?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
And at that moment, your blessed first customers walked up to your booth, a group of high school students, and you leapt at the opportunity to get out of that awkward conversation.
When your hour shift was finally over, you gleefully picked Woobin and his toys up from the playmat, took your two free ride tickets from Mr. Qian, and waved goodbye to him and the new volunteer parent who had shown up to take over your slot.
“Alright, Binnie, the Fall Festival is our oyster,” you looked it over with shining eyes. “What should we do first?”
Two hours later, and you were just finishing up your slightly late lunch. You scrolled through the delightful pictures that you’d taken of you and Woobin on the Ferris Wheel, sending a couple to your parents before tucking your phone away.
“Dessert sounds good, don’t you think?” You suggested to Woobin, and the Bake Sale popped into your mind. Those desserts that Mr. Qian made had looked really good, and you weren’t able to try any when you were working the table this morning…
“Please, Mommy?”
“You didn’t even need to ask, bubbles, Mommy wants some dessert too,” you admitted, taking his hand in yours. “I think we should go get some of those sweets that Junyi’s dad made. How does that sound? Did you see them earlier?”
There was a short line that you bumped up against at the Bake Sale table, just a couple families ahead of you. When you finally got to the front, your greeting to Mr. Qian stopped in your throat as you took in the empty spot beside him.
“Are you all by yourself, Mr. Qian?” You craned your neck to look around for signs of another parent.
He let out a tired sigh very clearly from deep within, eyes conveying a harrowed, ominous kind of exhaustion, “It seems as though the parent who signed up for the last four slots has skipped out on me. Been by myself for the past thirty minutes or so. I gave up on him about fifteen minutes ago.”
With a resolute nod, you hoisted your son up onto your hip and slid around to the other side of the table to stand beside Mr. Qian, “Binnie and I will finish the day out with you two then.”
“No, Ms. Y/L/N, you really don’t have to. I’m sure you have things to do, and I can run a preschool Bake Sale by myself.”
“Junyi! Come play with Woobin over here please!” You called after the little boy that you’d spotted toddling a little too far away from the playmat for comfort.
The man whipped around as his son came waddling back over at the sound of his name, clearly unaware that he had just wandered off. He squatted down to chastise the boy, reminding him to stay on the blanket. Junyi nodded, plopping down with his toys.
“I’m not leaving you out to dry, Kun,” you told the father frankly, sitting Woobin and his toys back down on the playmat too.
He gave you a frazzled smile, “Thanks, Y/N.”
Another couple hours passed by of you and Kun jointly running the Bake Sale table. Word had apparently spread since the first hour that you’d done with him in the morning, and the treats were extremely popular. Your line was never empty for more than a minute or two, and often times wrapped past other booths. Now you could see why Kun was so out of it when you had gotten there, he had been doing this by himself, even for just thirty minutes, with Junyi there.
The two of you fell into a symbiotic rhythm of taking orders, payment, handing out food, and keeping an eye on the two boys with you.
In a rare, brief lull between customers, you were caught off-guard when it was also quiet behind you. The telltale giggles, babbling, and nonsense conversation of Woobin and Junyi had faded out. You frowned thoughtfully as you finished rearranging the brownies in front of you, about to turn around to investigate anyway when a heart-wrenching wail pierced the still air. Immediately, you went to jerk around to comfort your crying Woobin, but were stopped in your tracks, so caught off-guard to see that it wasn’t your son sobbing. He was standing in front of Junyi, who was sat on the playmat, half-crying and half-screaming his head off.
Kun couldn’t get the cash in his hand into the register fast enough, and you rushed over to try to get Woobin to at least back up. Crowding Junyi definitely wasn’t going to help.
But you stopped as you realized that Woobin was talking to the other boy.
“Junyi, scary or boo-boo?” Woobin quietly asked him. After he didn’t get a reply, he asked again, “Scary or boo-boo?”
Junyi managed to blubber out, “Scary!”
Kun had finally arrived on the playmat while you watched on with wide, bewildered, and awestruck eyes as Woobin gave Junyi a big hug. The dad looked even more confused than you.
“What’s going on?”
You held up a finger for him to wait a moment, then turned to your son, “Binnie, do you know what happened to Junyi? Why is he having a scary cry?”
“Junyi fell down, Mommy,” he answered you dutifully.
“Okay, thank you,” you nodded to him. Looking at Kun, you explained, “Seems like Junyi just fell down. I don’t think he’s hurt, it just gave him a scare.”
“Daddy!” Junyi whimpered, and Kun gently extracted him from the other toddler’s arms to bring him into his own. Cradling his son, Kun murmured soft reassurances to him as the boy clung to his neck.
“Uh, thank you, Woobin,” he nodded to your son. “I’ve got Junyi from here.”
“You’re welcome,” Woobin replied, but you could see the moistness gathering in his eyes too. Oh, your big-hearted kid.
Both you and Kun brought your respective kids back to the table with you, sitting in the pop-up chairs with them in your laps. The two of you were quiet until Junyi’s sobs had simmered down into little hiccups, and you could feel that Woobin’s breathing had evened out into a nap.
“Okay, how did you do that?” Kun whispered at you.
“Do what?” You replied just as quietly.
“Get Woobin to do what he just did.”
“By asking him the exact same question pretty much every single time he’s cried for the past three years,” you answered honestly. “And he didn’t use to even answer me, much less ask other people that. That’s the first time he’s ever done that, actually.”
“Huh…”
Mr. Suh and Mr. Jeong came back an hour and a half later to help break down the table. It had been a pretty successful endeavor, if you did say so yourself, as there were only a handful of treats left, which you and Kun offered to a group of high schoolers who came by after break-down.
With everything packed up except the cash drawer, Kun turned to you with finality, “I’ve just got to drop this off with the front office and that’ll be it. Thanks, Y/N. You and Woobin were a big help today.”
“Of course. Sorry about that parent who skipped out on you. Who was it, anyway?”
“A… Mr. Nakamoto?” Kun read off the paper. “I’ve never heard of him.”
“I think I’ve chatted with him in the lobby a couple times. His son’s in the two-year-old class if I remember correctly?” You strained your memory, then gave up. “Oh, whatever. Maybe he just had an emergency or something.”
“That’s one way to look at it.”
“Anyway, have a goodnight, Kun, Junyi,” you nodded to the two of them, then squeezed your son’s hand. “Binnie, we’re leaving, do you want to say something to Junyi and Mr. Qian?”
Your son perked up, giving the two of them a bright smile and big wave, “Goodbye!”
“Junyi?” Kun prompted his son from where he was tucked into the father’s chest. “Tell Ms. Y/L/N and Woobin goodbye, you won’t see Woobin until Monday.”
“Bye, Woobin. Bye… Ms. Y/L/N.” Junyi said in between yawns, rubbing at his eyes. Poor guy seemed absolutely tuckered out.
“Goodnight,” Kun gave you one last nod before heading towards the school, and you and Woobin took off towards your car.
Monday morning you released Woobin’s hand to let him scamper into his classroom, giving Ms. Xu a wave of acknowledgement as you signed the morning drop-off sheet by the door. You were about to take off for work when a hand grabbed your elbow, and you hadn’t even realized that Ms. Xu had approached you, all too focused on heading to work.
“Ms. Y/N!”
“Ah, Ms. Xu, good morning,” you greeted her. “Is something the matter?”
“No, I just wanted to thank you for pitching in with the Bake Sale on Saturday. Mr. Qian informed us that he wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without your help.”
You looked around for Kun. You were only able to spot Junyi, however, coloring with Woobin at a table. Seems like he’d already come and gone. Great, now you had a reputation for being a helpful mom.
You shook off both her hand and her praise, “Oh, really Mr. Qian is exaggerating. He works in sales, did you know? Honestly didn’t need my help.”
“Well, whatever you two did, it was our most successful Bake Sale—well, any kind of fundraising event—for the preschool ever! And, we were wondering if the two of you would consider getting more involved in some parent leadership positions at the school? The preschool PTA have been trying to get a fundraising committee off the ground, and we really think that you two would do a fantastic job spearheading—”
You must have had some kind of look on your face, as Ms. Xu suddenly stopped dead in the middle of her sentence, entirely switching trains of thought. Keeping her same peppy tone and bright, hopeful smile, she said, “I am so sorry to have thrown so much at you. You must have to be getting to work. Why don’t we talk about it later when you come pick Woobin up? All of us, Mr. Qian, too. Goodbye, Ms. Y/N!”
And with that you were ushered out of the door, utterly dumbfounded at what had just happened.
That afternoon, you squared your shoulders and steeled your nerves as you approached the preschool doors. You had to keep your resolution firm: you were absolutely not going to be joining any sort of PTA, fundraising committee, or parent leadership position. The only thing that you were going to be spearheading was cracking open the bottle of wine that was waiting for you at your apartment tonight.
You were a little earlier than you usually were for pick-up, which you had done on purpose, needing to clear the air with a certain Mr. Qian Kun. Immediately homing in on the man, you made a beeline for him. He noticed you, his friendly hand falling as he seemed to notice the set of your brow.
“Good afternoon, Y—”
“Qian Kun,” you cut him off sternly. “Do you care to tell me why I was voluntold for a position spearheading a fundraising committee this morning?”
“Oh, that. Look, it came as a surprise to me too,” he tried to assuage you.
“Why the hell did my name even come out of your mouth in such a discussion in the first place?”
“Because they were praising me on how well the Bake Sale went, and I was making sure you got the credit that you deserved too. Are you upset about that? If so, I’m sorry? I guess?”
“You listen to the words coming out of my mouth: I will be a PTA mom over your dead body,” you hissed, scooching in to take the spot on the bench beside him and free up more standing space for the parents coming in.
“Okay, let’s take a step back from the threats, maybe, Y/N,” Kun suggested, holding his hands up in both a defensive and ‘are you kidding me?’ gesture. “What’s so awful about being a PTA parent in the first place?”
“Free labor for so little reward, and I don’t have the time for that. Do you?”
“We haven’t even heard their proposal; we don’t know what they’d be wanting us to do.”
“‘Spearheading a committee’ sounds like a part-time job at least.”
“Alright, well, didn’t Ms. Xu tell you that you and I held the most successful fundraising event the preschool’s ever had? And that wasn’t even with us making a concerted effort, either, that was just some random mid-grade effort Bake Sale. Imagine what we could do if we really go for it.”
“You work in sales, huh?” You deadpanned after his little pitch was finished. The one-year-old class opened for dismissal, and you leaned in towards him to continue your fervent conversation in a more hushed voice, “And can’t even realize when you’re the one being sold to! You do know that this campus has a bunch of filthy rich donors, right? They’re not hard pressed for cash, they just give the high school priority, then the middle school, primary, and the preschool gets the leftovers—if there’s even any—forcing it to have to fundraise for itself.”
“Isn’t that all the more reason to do this, then?” Kun pushed back.
“We could do a hundred Bake Sales and it wouldn’t make up the difference between the scraps the preschool gets and the millions that the high school does. No, it would be all the more reason for us to go find our own filthy rich donor who would put a stipulation on their donation for it to be used exclusively for the preschool.”
“Oh.”
“You’ve got to think bigger about this, Kun,” you knocked on his forehead with two of your knuckles as best you could in the narrow space between the two of you. “God. You said you work in sales, what do you even do?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, red tinging the tips of his ears, “Would you believe me if I said I’m a Director of Sales?”
“No,” you snorted.
“That’s fair.”
“So anyway, glad we’re on the same page about saying no to this.” You went to lean away from him and put some pep back into your tone, watching as the two-year-old class was dismissed next.
“What? I—” he looked around, it was only the three-year-old parents left in the lobby now. You sighed, scooting back over to sit shoulder-to-shoulder again for him to be able to continue in a hushed voice, “I thought we were going to find a donor for the preschool.”
“You want us to go in there, and say yes to leading the preschool PTA’s fundraising committee on the condition that its sole mission is to stage a coup within the financial hierarchy of the campus?”
“Okay well when you say it like that—”
“I’m in.” You grinned at him. “As long as you were being serious about the Director of Sales thing.”
“I was,” he fished out a business card from his wallet to hand to you.
Qian Kun, Director of Sales, WeiShen, Inc.
And below that was his email, office phone line, and fax number. You gave it back to him.
“Perfect. Those connections will come in handy.”
The door to the three-year-old classroom swung open just then, and you got to your feet.
“Alright, Mr. Qian, ready to go start the cutest coup the world has ever seen?” You offered your hand to him.
He stood up alongside you, giving your hand a firm shake, “Yes, absolutely, Ms. Y/L/N. They’ll never know what hit them.”
While Mrs. Chen and Ms. Xu were definitely caught off-guard by your idea, after getting over their initial shock, they were surprisingly on-board with it. They requested that you two bring in a more formal proposal to the next preschool PTA meeting— next Wednesday. That gave you nine days.
“So how did you know all that, about the donors and distribution structure of the funds?” Kun asked as you walked out into the empty preschool lobby.
“I did my research before picking a preschool for Woobin. It’s all there on the Internet if you dig deep enough, and are somewhat adept at reading through the legal bull—” You cut yourself off, looking down at the two toddlers with you. Kun pushed the front door open for you, and you quietly thanked him as you led Woobin through it before resuming your train of thought, “It’s obviously not in any of the advertising stuff for prospective parents, but for prospective donors, investors; the corporate materials.”
The four of you stopped in front of the building, where the small parking lot was.
“So then why did you enroll him here, even knowing about how they treat the preschool with the donations?”
“The high school is the best in the area, and the easiest way to guarantee admission is to graduate in from their middle school. Easiest way to get into the middle school is to graduate in from the primary school.”
“And the easiest way into the primary school is through the preschool,” the dad surmised.
“Bingo. I’m keeping Binnie’s options open,” you squeezed your son’s hand affectionately. “He doesn’t have to go there, but I’m making sure he can if he wants.”
Kun’s eyebrows shot up, “Wow. That’s some really forward thinking.”
You tilted your head curiously, “So why’d you choose to send Junyi here?”
“It was the closest to my place.”
“Practical, that’s more than fair.”
“Speaking of, Junyi and I should get going, we have to pick up a couple things from the store for dinner tonight and buddy already looks like he’s not going to last the two block walk there.” He looked down at his son, who was very quiet, glassy eyes fixed on his feet.
You nodded in understanding, “Of course, Binnie and I have a wine night planned.”
“I’m sorry, a what?”
“Oh, Binnie gets grape juice and I have red wine in matching cups. He likes to feel included.”
“Does he get a matching kiddie charcuterie board too?” Kun chuckled to himself as he hoisted Junyi up onto his hip.
“No, he just takes what he wants off of mine.”
He gave you a blank stare, “I can’t tell if you’re pulling my leg or not.”
“Look, he insists on trying whatever I have, and he ends up liking a lot of it,” you shrugged. “He’s the only 3-year-old I know who asks for tapenade as a snack.”
“You’re being serious?” He checked again.
“Yes,” you laughed. Then, before you knew it, the next words coming out of your mouth were, “You know, you and Junyi should join Binnie and I for a charcuterie night. I’ll prepare actual kid-friendly stuff, too, for Junyi.”
Kun’s head jerked back just the slightest, and he blinked a couple times before asking, “Uh, just you and Woobin?”
“Yeah, is— Would that, uh, be a problem?” The offer had felt perfectly normal and natural for you to make in the moment, but his reaction was making you second guess and stammer. You rushed to tack on, “We can— It’ll be for the fundraising committee, you know.”
“Right, right, of course.” His voice was filled with shaky relief.
“Of course,” you echoed, offering a strained smile.
“As long as that’s not a problem for—for you.”
“Why would it be a problem for me? I invited you.”
“I don’t— That sounds great, thank you, Y/N.”
Desperately wanting to get out of the plane crash that you had inadvertently taken this conversation into, you readjusted your purse on your shoulder decidedly, “Of course. Uhm, well, we won’t hold you two up from the store anymore, it looks like Junyi’s about to fall asleep on you right now. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Kun looked down at Junyi’s head that had been resting against his chest, the boy’s eyes beginning to flutter shut, “Oh, God, there he goes. Bye, Y/N, Woobin!”
And the man was around the corner before Woobin could even lift his little hand to wave.
“So what’s the big deal, Y/N?”
“Well because I feel stupid now, Sooyoung,” you ranted to your friend over the phone that night as you washed up the dishes from dinner. “It felt like I was maybe finally getting my first like, parent friend, you know? And then he got all weird as soon as I invited him to hang out. I wasn’t being weird, was I? It was practically a playdate invite!”
Woobin had been put to bed a few minutes ago, and you were recounting the horrible nosedive that your conversation with Kun had taken, needing to know that you weren’t crazy.
“Y/N…” Sooyoung’s voice was patient as it came through your speakers. “Now, I can only guess, because I am, as we know, not a parent friend. But… is he married?”
��“Huh?” The plate in your hand nearly slipped out of your soapy grip.
“Wedding ring, seen one?”
You wracked your brain, trying to remember if you’d ever really looked at Kun’s hands that closely, “Uh, not that I can remember?”
“Okay. You ever met the mom?”
“No, it’s always Kun who picks Junyi up.”
“Has a mom or another parent or partner ever been mentioned at all?”
“Sooyoung, the point,” you requested sternly, having a sneaking suspicion as to what it was.
“I’m just saying, maybe he got all weird because he thought you were flirting.”
“Oh my God,” you sighed and ran a hand through your hair before realizing that it was still soapy. “God damn it!”
“Y/N?”
You grabbed some paper towels to clean the suds off your head, “Yeah, still here, sorry.”
“Anyway… is he cute?”
“SooSoo, I don’t even think I could flirt on purpose at this point,” you chuckled cynically, going back to your chore. “That muscle’s long shriveled up. I just need to time skip to being married with two kids, I think.”
Your friend laughed along with you, “Fair. But, that doesn’t sound like a no. Kinda sounds like avoiding the question, actually.”
“Sooyoung.”
“Ooh, you gonna send me to my room?” She taunted you, and you could hear her pout through the phone. “Put me in time out?”
“You’d like that, you little freak,” you snickered, picking up your next dish.
That Saturday afternoon you and Woobin had welcomed Kun and Junyi into your apartment with giddy nerves. Woobin was excited, and you were excited for him. This would be pretty much his first playdate with a kid that he wasn’t related to. And you had all the nerves, as this was your first time having a parent friend over, too. Not to mention that Sooyoung’s words were still bouncing around in the back of your head. When Kun held out a bottle of red wine to you with his left hand, you looked extra hard at his fingers— yep, no ring.
“Oh, Kun, you didn’t have to,” you took it from him gladly, ushering the two of them further into your home.
“You’re hosting and making us a charcuterie board. I figured wine was appropriate,” he explained.
“Well, thank you. This is perfect.”
Woobin was right where you’d left him in the living room on his playmat among his toys.
“Binnie,” you said, waiting until he looked up at you before continuing, “Mr. Qian and Junyi are here, so we’re going to eat now, remember?”
He nodded, immediately standing up and beginning to shovel toys off to one side of his mat. You helped him slide the mat to the corner of the room.
“Uh, we’re just going to eat around the coffee table, if that’s alright,” you explained, gesturing to the cleared table in the middle of the living room.
“Yeah, of course,” Kun nodded.
“Great, great. Dining table kind of has a partially built LEGO set on it right now,” you chuckled as you set the wine bottle down. “I’m going to grab everything from the kitchen, be back in a second.”
“Oh, I’ll help.”
“No, that’s okay, I’ve already got a little helper,” you held a hand out expectantly towards your son. Woobin immediately grabbed your hand, looking up at you. You gave Kun a quick smile, “Be back in a sec.”
In the kitchen, you handed Woobin his spill-proof cup, then another for Junyi. You fit two wine glasses by the stems and a corkscrew in one hand, and grabbed the charcuterie board with the other. Gently nudging your toddler ahead of you, the two of you headed back out to the living room, where your guests were waiting.
Kun and Junyi had sat down on one side of the table, and you gently placed the food down in front of them, then one wine glass in front of Kun. You looked to your son, who handed the correct cup to Junyi.
“It’s just water,” you informed the dad. “We have juice too, if he can have it. I never know about allergies and the like so I didn’t want to assume.”
“Juice?” Woobin looked up at you with wide eyes.
“Yours is already grape juice, Binnie,” you informed him with a head pat.
Kun rubbed his son’s back, “Water’s fine for him, he had a juice box this morning. Thanks.”
You and Woobin sat opposite from the father and son, Woobin immediately clambering into your lap. As you went to uncork the wine, Kun looked over the board in front of you all. You had made sure to prepare some kid-friendly options in one corner in addition to your usual refined spread.
“This all looks fantastic, Y/N. Thank you, seriously,” Kun smiled, and you swore that was the first time you’d noticed a deep dimple appear on both of his cheeks.
You poured first for him, then yourself, “Of course. Thank you two for coming over, Woobin and I were both excited to host for someone. Right, Binnie?”
“What, Mommy?” Woobin looked up at you with a scrunched nose.
“‘Host.’” You repeated the unfamiliar word for him, then clarified your question, “Are you excited to have Junyi and Mr. Qian over?”
“Oh! Yes!” He nodded his head so fast you could feel the rest of his little body shake in your lap. “Can I show Junyi my room, Mommy?”
“After you two eat some, okay?”
“Okay!”
“Did you hear that, Junyi? After you eat, you and Woobin can play.” Kun gently prodded his son, then looked up at you apologetically when all the child did was yawn. “Sorry, he just woke up from a nap before coming over.”
“That’s okay,” you giggled, cutting off a piece of cheese and pressing it onto a cracker, then making another serving of the same cheese and cracker. You handed one to Woobin, keeping the other for yourself.
Woobin eagerly took a bite of the cheese and cracker you’d given him, washing it down with his grape juice.
Kun offered a bear-shaped cookie out to Junyi, who shook his head. The dad sighed, and pointed at a banana slice, then blueberry, then cheddar cheese slice that you’d cut into small star shapes. They all got head shakes.
“Are you hungry at all, buddy?”
“Yes!”
“Then what do you want? Ms. Y/L/N made sure to put out all that food just for you. I don’t think you want what Daddy is eating, buddy. It’s grown-up food.”
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, unsure of if you should speak up. It seemed like they both needed help, but you weren’t one to try to interject your own parenting if it wasn’t asked for.
Junyi squirmed in his dad’s arms for a moment before mumbling, “But Woobin’s eating it…”
Meanwhile Woobin had in fact helped himself to a kalamata olive, pre-pitted, happily munching away.
Kun seemed at a loss, rubbing at his brow, and you finally decided to jump in.
“Junyi, you can try some, too,” you told him encouragingly, leaning forward and reaching over the board. “Do you want to try the cheese Woobin was eating or the olive he just had? Or both?”
“Cheese, please.”
You cut off a small piece of the gouda, “Here you go.”
He took it in his small hands, “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.”
You watched in amusement as Junyi ate the cheese, his features lighting up.
“Did you like it?”
“Yes! Can I try the olive?”
“Hey…” Kun’s voice held a slight warning as he pinched his son’s side.
“Can I try the olive please?”
“Thank you.” The dad patted the boy’s head before reaching around him for the glass of wine on the table.
You handed him an olive, both you and Kun watching with interest as he popped it into his mouth whole. Junyi’s face immediately screwed up in disgust. Without missing a beat, Kun held up a cupped palm with another short sigh, letting his son spit the food back out. Trying to hold back your giggles, you handed the dad a napkin.
“Thanks,” he accepted it, depositing the olive into the paper, and wiping his hand off.
After some more broadening of Junyi’s horizons—to mixed results—the board was mostly clear, and the kids had declared themselves full.
“Can I show Junyi my room now?” Woobin asked excitedly.
“Sure, Binnie. You two can go play,” you nodded, and he immediately scrambled off your lap. You held out a hand for him to use to balance himself as you kept talking, “Mr. Qian and I have some work to do, so we’ll be in here if you need us, okay?”
“Okay!” Both toddlers said in unison.
“Hey, look here,” Kun stopped his son before he could leave the room. The father waited until the boy was looking him in the eye before continuing, “Remember what we talked about before coming over? All week?”
Junyi nodded fervently.
“Good. Go have fun, buddy,” he ruffled his son's hair.
You watched the two of them speedwalk out excitedly, Woobin explaining the house rule of not being allowed to run because it’s not safe as they went.
Then it was just you and Kun. Sooyoung’s words echoed in the back of your mind.
“Alright, let me grab my laptop, then we can get to work,” you declared, getting to your feet.
A few hours later and the two of you had made good progress, only interrupted by the kids a few times here and there, mostly them wanting to show off toys or coloring pages, or Junyi had wandered in at one point seemingly just to make sure Kun was still there.
You had been adding something to your word document of notes when you realized that your house had been eerily quiet for too long. Fingertips hovering over the keys, you exchanged a suspicious look with Kun.
“Too quiet?” He asked knowingly.
“Yeah…” You frowned, setting your computer aside to get up.
Both of you treaded through your home until you got to Woobin’s bedroom. The door was open, and you were alarmed for a moment when you didn’t see either boy anywhere on the floor playing. Until you recognized two lumps under the covers of his toddler bed, Woobin and Junyi looking like they were going to sleep for the next hundred years or so.
“Oh, god, I am so sorry,” Kun shook his head, seeming about to go in there and grab his son.
You were between him and the room, however, and quickly turned the lights off and shut the door. “It’s okay, Kun. They just tuckered themselves out. That’s good.”
Latching onto his elbow, you pulled him back towards the living room, catching a glance at the time on the microwave as you went through the kitchen.
“Damn, it’s not even Binnie’s normal bedtime yet,” you chuckled.
You didn’t let go of Kun until you had pulled him back down onto the couch, and then held his (second) glass of wine back out to him pointedly. He had a fond smile as he took it from you, and you happily accepted your victory as you picked yours back up too. You left your laptop on the coffee table, shifting to entirely face Kun as you raised your glass to your lips.
Kun took a sip.
You took a sip.
“Do you want to ask me something, Y/N?” Kun scratched the back of his neck.
“Mm, sorry,” you apologized with a chuckle. “I zoned out on your face there, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, a bit,” he laughed.
“I was thinking, though.”
“What about?”
“You’re a Director of Sales…”
“Supposedly.”
“Supposedly,” you repeatedly humorously before moving on with your question. “Do you think we’ve got a good chance at getting a donor for the preschool? If our proposal is approved by the PTA on Wednesday, of course.”
You had expected some kind of business musings, or serious answer from Kun, but instead you watched with concern as his brow furrowed, his fingers drummed along his knee, and he suddenly became fidgety, shifting around in his seat. He stayed quiet, once again scratching at the back of his neck, squinting one eye closed, then the other.
“Kun?” You said his name hesitantly.
“Sorry,” he shot you a familiar, frazzled smile that reminded you of when he was getting overwhelmed at the Bake Sale booth by himself. “I uhm, I don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” you reassured him. “I was just curious, it’s not life or death that you know everything all the time.”
He didn’t even seem to hear you as he stood up, setting his wine glass down on the table. The dad began pacing back and forth in front of your couch, his hands laced together behind his neck.
“I’m good at my job.”
You would’ve sworn he wasn’t talking to you, except his wide, stressed eyes snapped up to you after he said that.
“I’m not your boss. You don’t need to convince me, Kun,” you said slowly.
“I know, just— with all this, it’s stuff that I should be good at, it’s right up my alley. But it’s for Junyi, and I want to be the best dad I can be for him that I just end up jumping into doing things without actually thinking about them first because other people are telling me that’s what I need to do to be a good dad. I know how to be a good Director of Sales. I don’t know how to be a good dad.”
“You don’t need to know everything,” you reiterated strongly, hoping he actually listened this time. “I don’t know all the secrets for being a good mom. I just know how to be Woobin’s mom. You don’t need to know all the secrets to being the best dad ever. The only thing you need to worry about is being Junyi’s dad. Does that seem a bit more manageable?”
Kun’s pacing slowed to a stop in front of you, “Well, I guess.”
“So, the next time somebody is trying to sell you on some ‘Dad Thing,’ stop, breathe, and think: Is this what I, Qian Kun, as Junyi’s dad, need to do, to be?”
“Okay…” he looked at you skeptically, closing his eyes for a moment. You watched as his shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath.
“…Are you doing it right now?”
“Well how else am I supposed to decide if this is a good thing to do or not?”
You let out a hearty laugh, “No, that’s perfect, Kun, go ahead.”
He closed his eyes again, and you watched with fond amusement as his eyebrows quirked up and down with his thoughts. You took another sip of your wine before he had finished, and he opened his eyes once more, giving you a firm nod, “Okay, yes, I think that’s a thing that Junyi would need me to do.”
“Great,” you smiled at him, tilting your wine glass out to him.
He picked his back up and clinked it to yours in a little cheers. You tipped the remainder of your drink back in one go.
“Oh, that was good,” you declared. “Thanks, Kun.”
“Of course, Y/N. Thank you for inviting us.”
“Like I said, Binnie and I were both really excited to host,” you took your empty glass into the kitchen to start cleaning up. “I don’t know if this is bad, but he hasn’t really had a lot of play dates that weren’t like his cousins or something.”
“Junyi neither,” Kun admitted.
“It’s hard, isn’t it?” You asked, starting to stack the plates. “Kid, and work, and family, and friends, and everything else. And then you’re supposed to be in charge of your kid’s social life too?”
You’d turned your back on him to bring the plates into the kitchen, expecting to hear his response to your question, but you were just met with silence. After depositing the dishes in the kitchen, you walked back out to the living room, alarmed to see that Kun had taken to pacing again.
Keeping a calm demeanor yourself, you kept going about your task, grabbing the charcuterie board, the last thing that needed to be tidied up. You had just started back towards the kitchen when Kun broke his silence.
“Junyi’s mother left us.”
You were so glad you had your back to Kun so he couldn’t see your rueful wince. Oh, you were so going to regret this.
Relaxing your features into a more sympathetic frown, you turned around to face him, “I’m very sorry to hear that, Kun.”
This was going to be a lot, you could sense it, so you set the charcuterie board back down on your breakfast bar.
“So just know that however hard it is for you and Woobin’s dad, it’s like ten times harder for me, and that’s why I’m always—”
You had stopped listening to him, however, your brain turning to white noise after the phrase ‘Woobin’s dad.’
“Wait, do you think I’m married?” You blurted out over him.
“Well, no, I can see that you don’t have a ring,” Kun gestured down to your hands. “But a boyfriend or another significant other. I’m doing this solo and—”
“I’m a single parent too!”
“What?” He seemed dumbfounded.
You couldn’t tell if you wanted to laugh or cry more at how ridiculous this was.
“Woobin’s dad was a one-night stand! I can’t remember the guy’s name, or what he looks like. Couldn’t find him if I wanted to. I don’t have a partner now, either. What on Earth made you think I was anything other than a single mom? You’re in my home!” You gestured around wildly to where there were multiple pictures of your family, of you and Woobin, but none of you, Woobin, and any man that could reasonably be considered his father.
“Well you’re just— you’ve got— at the meeting— you’re so put together,” Kun stammered out, his voice getting smaller and smaller. He ran a hand through his hair, “You’re not falling apart at the seams like I am.”
“Kun.” You grabbed him by the shoulders, stopping his frenzied pacing. “Look me in the eye.”
It wasn’t really like he had a choice, you were now holding his face just a couple inches from yours, but he still followed your command.
“Good,” you praised him, keeping your voice soothing. “I want you to take three deep breaths with me.”
He followed along as you inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, and finally exhaled again together.
“Alright, thank you,” your voice was still sweet and calm as you ran your hands back down to his shoulders. “Now… why the fuck do you think I am more put together than you, Qian Kun?”
“Everything,” he breathed out, hanging his head.
“God, Kun,” you sighed, seizing him by the wrist. “Come on.”
You led him into your dining room, where there was in fact a half-built LEGO set on your dining room table. But that wasn’t your goal. On the bookshelf in there, you grabbed a specific picture frame, and took it and Kun back to the living room.
Sitting down side-by-side with Kun on the couch, you held the picture out in front of the two of you. It was of you and Woobin just over three years ago now, the first night you came home from the hospital. Your mother had taken it. He was swaddled in his baby blue blanket, all chubby cheeks, and you looked dead tired, but an excited sparkle was still in your eyes as you grinned down at your son.
“Look, Kun. I used to feel like that too. All the time. Almost every day when I was pregnant,” you relayed to him.
“But not anymore?” He questioned hesitantly.
“Sometimes. But not like before. Because I realized that I’m not doing this by myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I may be a single mom, but I’m not alone, I have Binnie. And isn’t that the whole point? To be there for them? To make sure they know they’re not doing it alone either?”
Kun was quiet, his eyes still focused on the picture.
You continued, “I’m lucky enough to have my parents as a good support system, and some friends I can call up in case of emergency too. But I remember when I found out I was going to have Woobin, and I decided to keep him, I was scared of doing it by myself. Terrified, might be a better word.”
“When I came home from the hospital with him, my mom stayed with us for the first couple weeks.” You tapped the frame. “And the first night after she left, when it really was just the two of us, I was expecting this overwhelming sense of loneliness, and instead I just felt… full. I know I had all those birthing hormones in me, oxytocin and whatnot, but I looked down at him and I realized I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t ever going to be in all this because I have Binnie.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” Kun finally spoke again.
Thinking about your cousin’s approach to parenting, you guessed, “You’ve always thought about him as the adversary?”
“Not exactly. Junyi’s more like a tiny roommate that I have to dress and feed and keep from accidentally dying.”
“I’d love to see pizza and beer night at your place.” You joked, laughing when you managed to get a small smile out of Kun again. “Does Junyi get his in a sippy?”
“You jest, but I have poured myself two fingers of whiskey into a Winnie the Pooh sippy cup before because it was the only clean drinking vessel we had.” He rubbed at his temples, then clarified, “With the lid off.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” You patted his back, reaching across him to set the frame down on the side table by another one that was displayed there.
“Thanks, Y/N.” Kun’s eyes followed you as you sat back down, suddenly much closer than you remembered being before. Or were you just more aware of your proximity?
He patted your knee. “Seriously, that made me feel a lot better.”
“Of—” You cleared your throat to get rid of the squeak that was now in your voice. “Of course.”
Your skin tingled. Holy shit, you’d only had two glasses of wine spread across several hours, there was no way you should even be remotely buzzed. Kun was still looking at you. Were his eyes always this dark, this inviting?
God, he really was handsome. You’d always known that, thought that, since the moment you saw him in the lobby of the preschool. But something about now, having him in your home, so close, alone, you felt like you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He wet his lips seemingly instinctually, and for a moment your brain short-circuited.
“Daddy?” A small voice made both you and Kun jump in your seats. You bit your tongue in surprise, hissing in pain as you and the dad simultaneously scooted away from each other. Junyi was standing at the threshold of the living room, rubbing one of his eyes sleepily.
“Hey, buddy.” Kun waved his son over with a smile. “Is everything okay?”
Junyi walked over, stopping in front of his dad, a small pout on his face. “I woke up and didn’t see you...”
“Oh, buddy,” Kun rubbed the toddler’s back. “Sounds like it’s about time for us to go home, huh?”
You smiled at the both of them, hoping they couldn’t see how frazzled you felt through it. “Of course, it’s late. I think we’re uh, we’re all tired. Junyi, is Woobin awake?”
The boy shook his head no.
“Okay, thank you.” You stood up, grabbing the wine glasses as Kun picked his son up.
You sent them off with a quick goodbye at your front door, and let out a deep sigh of relief once you’d closed it behind them. There weren’t many dishes to take care of in the kitchen, but you still took your time scrubbing at them, then tiptoed down the hall to check in on your son. He was in fact sound asleep, and you quietly went to retire in your own room for the night.
Except once you were in your own bed, sleep didn’t find you easy. You still saw Kun whether your eyes were open or closed, and you could feel the ghost of his warm hand on your skin. You rolled over into the center of the empty expanse of your bed, burying your face in your pillow, and let out a groan. You so needed to get laid. That’s all this was, you had set aside your own needs for your family’s and as soon as you saw one attractive guy, you couldn’t function. There were more important things to focus on with Kun, like the fundraising.
And so you went to sleep with thoughts of spreadsheets, Kun’s dark eyes, numbers, Kun’s warm hands on you, fundraising pitches, and Qian Kun running through your mind.
The fundraising pitch was a hit. Yours and Kun’s PTA committee was approved at the very same meeting, and you two were made co-directors effective immediately.
Afterwards, you, Kun, Woobin, and Junyi all walked out together, and while Kun seemed to be basking in the exhilaration of success, you were shell-shocked with a harrowing realization.
“Y/N?” Kun gently touched your arm, voice tinged with concern.
You looked up at him, horrified. “I’m a PTA mom now, aren’t I?”
He seemed to be holding back his laughter as he patted your shoulder. “I think you are. My condolences. Please don’t kill me.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think I can dispose of my co-director so easily now.”
He was grinning at you. “Ah, didn’t realize that title came with such high protections.”
You rolled your eyes, but found your mood lifting anyway. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, you mentioned that you had something exciting, but only if we got approval?”
“Right!” Kun let go of Junyi’s hand to reach into the interior pocket of his suit jacket. He retrieved a crisp cream envelope, about the size of his hand. His name was embossed on the front of it in gold lettering.
You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “You got a wedding invite?”
“Close.” He opened the envelope, holding out the contents to you. You set Woobin down, murmuring a quiet request for him to stay by you all so you could take the card in both your hands. The front of the card had an unfamiliar crest on it, and you opened it to read the inside.
‘The United Publishing Society is honored to invite Mr. Qian Kun and a guest to their 89th Annual Benefactor Gala’
And below that was the date, time, location, and dress code. Black tie formal.
“A fancy networking event?” You questioned, handing it back to him.
“No,” he shook his head very seriously. “These are all the old industry bigwigs who want to get together without all that schmoozy networking and ladder-climbing stuff going on. You and I are probably going to be the youngest ones there by a couple decades.”
“Wait you and me?”
“Yep. ‘Mr. Qian Kun and a guest.’” He recited off the invite. “You’re my guest.”
“Uhm...”
“I happen to know that one of the guys attending is also on the board of a non-profit that donates exclusively to children’s causes. Building pediatric cancer centers, juvenile intervention centers, the whole nine. I think he’ll be our best bet for a donor.”
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “But you just said they want to get together without networking and all that kind of stuff. Why would we be any different?”
“It’s a charity gala, they’re already there to write checks anyway. We’re not going to be asking him for a job.”
It’s not you were exactly overflowing with any options. “When was that again?”
“What do we think?” You did a spin for your small audience of Woobin and Sooyoung. “Good enough for black tie formal?”
Tonight was the night of the gala Kun was taking you along to, and you sort of felt like you were going to throw up. And pass out. In that order. First of all, you had never been to a gala, you couldn’t remember if you had ever gone to something with a black tie formal dress code (you literally had to go out and buy this outfit), not to mention that you felt awful for having to ask your friend to babysit. But unfortunately your parents were out of town and all of your normal babysitters were busy. Sooyoung had already let you (jokingly) know that this was under duress, and that you owed her—despite turning down the money you offered her.
Sooyoung wolf-whistled at you, and you gave her a pointed look. Not the example you wanted to set for your son. Woobin looked up from his toys at the sound, and clapped for you.
“You look great, Y/N!” Your friend reassured you, and you were thankful that she reigned her mouth in around your kid. Typically, you would’ve gotten a much more explicit compliment from her. “Should be good for black tie. I mean, it’s not like you have any other option, right?”
“Right...” You groaned, turning back towards your room. “Hold on, let me put the shoes on so you can see those.”
You were sitting on your bed pulling your shoes on when you heard your doorbell ring. Your stomach dropped as you looked over at the time on your bedside clock. Shit, Kun was early. You should’ve anticipated that from the last time he was here.
“Soo! Can you get the door? I’m still putting my shoes on!” You yelled out through the apartment.
“Yep!” She called back.
You could vaguely hear the muffled voices of Sooyoung and Kun—and even Woobin at one point—but you were too focused on tugging your goddamn shoes on to care much about what they were saying. Just as you were finally standing up and straightening out your outfit, Sooyoung speedwalked into your bedroom, Woobin in her arms.
She had a smile filled with devilish delight on her face as she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially to you, “That is Kun?”
“Huh? Yeah? Unless you let some strange man into my home that I don’t know,” you replied, bewildered. “Should I have asked you to ID him?”
“I take back everything I said, you stay out as long as you want tonight. All night even,” she suggested, gesturing wildly with one hand as the other kept your toddler propped up on her hip. She pinched his cheek fondly. “BinBin and I can have a sleepover, right, buddy?”
Your son’s face lit up with delight at the prospect. “Sleepover?!”
Well aware of what your friend was implying, you did your best to regulate your outer emotions and intonation as you addressed your kid. You kept your tone kind but firm, “No, Binnie, I’m sorry.” Focusing your gaze on your friend, you added pointedly, “Nobody’s having a sleepover tonight.”
“Y/N, come on. You’ve never denied yourself the finer things in life since becoming a mom. Why are you insisting on starting now?” Sooyoung sighed.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have a gala to attend. For the fundraising committee I’m on.”
Walking through your apartment, you grabbed your purse from your dining room and finally found Kun in the foyer just a few steps from the front door. He was looking at a photo you had up on the wall, his back to you, so all you could see was his brown hair and dark suit.
“Hi, Kun!” You hoped you didn’t sound out of breath as you entered the room. Judging by the sound of footsteps behind you, Sooyoung had followed you in to see you off for the night.
Kun turned around at his name, hands clasped behind his back. He was dressed rather handsomely for the night in a tux with his hair neatly parted away from his face. But it was the starstruck smile on his face that made your skin warm up as he stopped in his tracks, just looking at you.
“Kun? You good?” You coughed awkwardly, well aware of your spectators.
“Sorry, sorry. Hello, Y/N.” He blinked and shook his head, stepping forward all the way to stand in front of you.
“You’ve already met my friend Sooyoung. She’s watching Woobin tonight for me.” You gestured to the two of them.
“So you two can take as long as you need!” She piped up oh-so-helpfully.
You turned to look at her with wide, pointed eyes.
“You know, chatting people up for your fundraising, or whatever,” she tacked on innocently.
“Thank you, SooSoo. I’ll see you later.” You pecked your son on the forehead. “Goodnight, Binnie. Remember, Mommy will be back late so Aunt SooSoo is going to put you to bed, and you and me are going to eat breakfast together, okay?”
“But Aunt SooSoo said I was having a sleepover with her?”
“Aunt SooSoo was just joking, baby. I’m sorry, no sleepovers tonight,” you informed him with a heavy heart. Sooyoung set him down, and he toddled off towards the living room. Your friend went to follow him, and you grabbed her elbow to lean in to hiss in her ear, “I hope you’re happy, you owe Binnie a sleepover now.”
“And he’ll get one,” she whispered back. “As soon as you have one of your own.”
You shot her one final glare that she just retaliated with a wink, before letting her go and striding back over to Kun, who was waiting patiently by the front door.
“Everything okay?” He asked, concern on his features.
“Yeah, just making sure she knows Binnie's bedtime and to not give him any more juice.” You offered him a reassuring smile. “All good.”
“Good. You ready, then?”
“As I’ll ever be, I guess.”
You so were not ready, it turned out. Just a few minutes after arriving, milling around and taking in the grandeur of the ballroom with Kun, you were starting to feel dizzy. Kun had already seen a couple of people that he must have known, flashing them a charismatic smile and exchanging passing greetings. You, meanwhile, felt like a weight was pressing on your chest, and inhaled deeply through your nose to try to calm down.
“Woah, are you okay, Y/N?” Kun leaned in to ask you quietly.
“Yeah, fine,” you lied through your teeth. “Why?”
“You’ve got a death grip on my arm that you didn’t have thirty seconds ago.” He patted your hand that was on his upper arm.
Looking down, you saw that his suit jacket was crumpled in your fingers, and you consciously tried to loosen your grip, but couldn’t make yourself do it. Instead, you just stared at your locked hand.
“I’m a copy editor, Kun, I don’t really go to galas on the daily, so pardon me for being a little out of my element here,” you retorted, the words cutting through the air much harsher than you had intended. Taking another deep inhale and exhale, you added a whispered, “Sorry, sorry.”
“Come on, let’s get some air, hm?”
The gala had an outdoor area devoid of other guests, presumably due to the chilly nighttime air. Kun sat you down on a stone bench outside of the main courtyard area, out of sight from the large windows of the ballroom.
The pressure on your chest was gone, and with you breathing easier, the cynical, nervous thoughts could finally take center stage in your brain.
“God, this isn’t going to work! Why did we even come out here?” You cracked your knuckles anxiously. “How do we even ask for money without just sounding like children? ‘It’s not fair!’”
“If we find the right donor—and don’t use that tone of voice—that argument is actually going to be what resonates with them,” Kun responded calmly, standing in front of you with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “Someone that cares about the kids, not about investing in an institution or whatever, will be moved by the fact that the preschool is being neglected financially.”
You chewed on the bottom of your lip. “Well damn, when you put it like that, I may just believe that you’re a Director of Sales, Qian Kun.”
“I thought the business card had convinced you.”
“Anybody can order a business card that says whatever they want.”
“That would’ve been extensive planning on my part.”
“Hey, you could’ve had it on hand to pick up women. There’s guys that do that.”
He seemed genuinely put-off and bewildered. “Wait really? That’s… That is just… loser behavior.”
“Though the fax number did point to it being real,” you continued, finally cracking a smile. “Dudes doing pick-up probably think it makes them look dorky.”
“What? People aren’t sexting via fax these days?” Kun joked, a grin tugging at his lips.
You were laughing too hard—and thus trying to quiet down your laughter—to respond to him, giving him the perfect leeway to continue. “What would you even call that? Saxing? Sexing?”
You were dizzy again, but this time it was light-headedness from laughing too hard, quite literally slapping your knee as you tried to calm yourself down.
Kun was chuckling as well, sliding in to sit next to you. “I take offense at the sentiment that fax machines are lame, by the way. I’ll have you know that’s my personal fax line on my business card. Not everyone gets their own.”
Finally having enough wits about you to form sentences again, you sat up straight to look him in the eye as you clarified, “Hey, I was saying that loser dudes who make fake business cards think that fax machines are lame. I think men with fax machines are sexy, especially personal fax lines.”
You went to nudge his shoulder teasingly, caught off-guard as you realized just how close he was to you. Even closer than the night on your couch, his dark eyes settling on your face, unabashedly drinking you in. Your breath hitched in your throat as you were suddenly surrounded by the intoxicating smell of his cologne. The cold air made the hair on your bare arms stand up—or maybe it was something else—and you found yourself pressing forward even closer towards Kun’s warmth.
“Y/N,” he murmured your name quietly. “Are you cold? We can go back inside.”
“No, just…” you took a deep breath, scooting in even closer to him, until you were pressed up side-to-side. “Stay right here? You’re warm.”
He uncertainly wrapped his arm around you. “Sure, sure. Of course.”
“And… Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, yeah.”
“I wasn’t crazy, right? On the couch the other night… Did you want to kiss me, too?”
“You-You wanted to kiss me?”
“I’m uh, a bit rusty at this kind of thing,” you admitted, your skin burning. “But I’m not completely imagining that there’s… something here, right, Kun?”
“You wanted to kiss me?” He repeated like a broken record.
You lightly snapped your fingers in front of his face. “Kun? My question? Or have I officially lost it, and this is like… going to make everything awkward for the fundraising committee?”
“No, no, I-I do—did want to kiss you. I thought I was making you uncomfortable,” he stumbled over his words sheepishly. “I’m uhm… also pretty rusty with this stuff.”
“You do want to kiss me? Or you did want to kiss me, past tense?” You clarified.
“Both! Uhm, I did, that night on the couch, and I still do, now…” He confessed weakly.
“Is there any reason that you shouldn’t? Like, is there somebody…?”
“No, there isn’t. Not at all.” Kun gulped. “What about you?”
“Nope, nobody, and Qian Kun, if you continue to talk about kissing me without actually doing anything, I might actually lose my mind,” you whispered, feeling hot, embarrassed, desperate tears pricking at the edges of your eyes.
“God, sorry.” He cupped your cheek, turning your head and tilting your chin to be able to perfectly slot his lips with yours. The arm that was already wrapped around you just pulled you closer to him, as one of your hands grabbed the lapel of his suit jacket. You let out an embarrassing whimper as soon as his mouth meshed with yours, and he murmured another hushed ‘sorry’ against your lips. If he hadn’t just told you that he was rusty, you wouldn’t have had any idea as your head spun, your heart beat out of your chest wildly like a cartoon, and you were definitely crying tears of relief into what you were seriously considering quite possibly your best kiss ever.
It was your turn to mutter an apology as your tears turned the kiss salty, but as you pulled back to do just that, you saw the glistening of Kun’s eyes in the champagne tinted light filtering out from the ballroom, turning his tears golden as they slipped down his cheeks. Instead, you just pressed your forehead to his in silent understanding, looping your arm around his neck to hold him even closer, if that was possible.
PART II: you got my heartbeat to play to your time
Spotting Kun in the lobby of the preschool, you immediately lit up and rushed to sit down beside him on one of the benches. He offered you a tired smile and peck on the cheek in greeting, scooting to make room for you.
“Brr, it’s fucking freezing out there,” you shuddered, grabbing his hand to press it against the cold tip of your nose. “That’s just from the 30-second walk from the parking lot to here! Are you two going to survive the walk home? You sure you don’t want me to drive you? Well, I don’t have another carseat for Junyi, but he could sit on your lap in the backseat, I think? Better than freezing to death, right?”
“We’ll be okay, Y/N,” Kun reassured you, patting your leg before resting his hand there. “Thank you though, love.”
The subject of the cold suddenly made you remember something else, and you perked up, “Oh, Woobin and I were at the store yesterday and he needed new gloves, and I saw that bun’s were getting a little worn out when we went out last weekend too—”
“Whose?” Kun asked, furrowing his brows.
“Junyi’s. Look.” You held up the pair that matched Woobin’s, save for the pattern, which had little bunnies on them instead of whales. “Aren’t they adorable? God, I just love their tiny hands. I’ll return them if this is weird and I overstepped a line though. I tried to call you to see if this was okay, but the store was just a dead zone, and I couldn’t get a signal.”
A sheepish smile punctuated the end of your nervous rambling. You and Kun hadn’t been dating for very long, just a few months, and you were still getting a feel for boundaries when it came to your relationship with each other and each other’s kids. You’d just started spending the night at each other’s houses with both kids there—already a big step, in your opinion. Taking the initiative on buying Junyi a new pair of gloves had seemed perfectly natural when the thought came to you, but you didn’t want it to feel like you were rushing things to Kun, or taking a place that wasn’t yours to take—and hadn’t been offered to you—in Junyi’s life.
“Oh, no, Y/N, these are perfect, thank you.” He accepted them, a genuine, grateful smile on his face as he tucked them away in his jacket pocket, then squeezed both of your hands. “Junyi will love them. He did need new gloves; I just hadn’t made it out to the store yet.”
“Then what is making you make that face?”
“Since when has Junyi been a bunny?”
“Were you not intentionally buying him a bunch of bunny-patterned stuff?” You questioned, tilting your head.
“Huh?”
“His backpack, his stuffie that he brings to school, his pajamas that he wore at my place last weekend, and I’ve seen him in like at least three different bunny t-shirts. I thought the theming was intentional.”
Kun took a long, slow blink. “Oh… it was not.”
“Kun… are bunnies your favorite animal?” You teased.
“No! I think…?”
“God, long day at work?” You surmised, stroking the back of his head soothingly.
He leaned into your touch, letting out a disgruntled groan, “Long week. Scratch that, long month.”
“Mm, anything I can do to help?”
“Unless you can clone me, or stop time…”
“Okay, new question: Anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Even just something small?”
“Can you and Woobin come over tonight? I know we weren’t planning on it, but—”
“Yes, Kun, we can come over tonight,” you agreed, using your free hand to grab one of his.
“Thank you,” he sighed, squeezing your hand back.
The door to the boys’ classroom opened then, and you nudged Kun’s shoulder with yours. He nodded, the two of you standing up together. As soon as you stepped foot into the classroom, your shins were knocked into by one small body, then another.
“Oh, hey bun! Hey bubbles!” You greeted the kids, wobbling a bit as they had each latched onto one of your legs.
Kun, who had caught you by the elbow to steady you, was looking at the three of you with that same tired but heartfelt smile, “Guys, am I just chopped liver?”
Junyi squinted up at his dad curiously, “What’s liver?”
“Yeah, what’s liver, Mr. Kun?” Woobin echoed.
“He means he wants a hug too, boys,” you explained. “And he’s been working really hard, so I think he should get a really big one.”
They immediately detached themselves from you to throw their little arms around Kun’s legs instead.
“You should ask for one next time, Mr. Kun!”
“Yeah, Daddy! Instead of talkin’ about liver and stuff.”
“Yeah, Mr. Kun, just ask for one next time,” you repeated teasingly.
Kun looked at the two kids with that same fond, resigned smile. “Right, my bad, boys. I will just ask for one when I need one next time.”
As the kids hug-attacked Kun, you went over to their forgotten cubbies to pick up their respective whale and bunny backpacks, giving Ms. Xu and Mrs. Chen friendly waves of acknowledgement. When you returned, Kun had managed to get a kid under each arm, both toddlers giggling as they were held like sacks of potatoes.
“Are you carrying them out like that?” You asked with a tilted head.
“Maybe,” Kun joked. “It’s a good arm workout.”
“Yeah, for all three of you,” you referred to how the boys were clinging onto his forearms against gravity as well.
“Mm, the idea of buff three-year-olds terrifies me,” he declared, lowering the kids. “Alright, time to let go, guys.”
You reached into Junyi’s backpack to secure the little tiny puffer jacket that was inside, “It’s a bit chilly out, bun-bun, and you and your dad are walking home, so come on, you’re putting your coat on.”
“Okay,” he stuck his arms out for you to help put it on him.
“Oh,” Kun pulled the new pair of gloves out of his own pocket, showing them off to his son. “Look, buddy. Ms. Y/N got you a new pair of gloves.”
“Oh wow, thank you!” He beamed up at you.
“You’re welcome,” you grinned back, kneeling down in front of him to zip up the jacket for him. “Woobin has a pair just like it but with whales, so you two can match next time he wears his.”
Woobin looked down at his bare hands with a thoughtful frown. “Where are my gloves, Mommy?”
“They’re probably in your backpack, baby. You and I are driving home so you don’t have to put them on if you don’t want to, because your hands won’t be getting cold outside like Junyi’s.”
“Oh. I want to put them on, please.”
“Here, I’ll get them,” Kun unzipped the backpack that was on your shoulder and began rooting through it.
“Thank you.” You murmured. As he got the gloves and helped Woobin put them on, you went over the plans for the rest of the night with your son, “We’re going to go home and get a few things, and then we’re going to Mr. Kun and Junyi’s house for a sleepover, okay?”
“Okay!”
Kun had finished tugging on the gloves then, “There you go, Bin.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kun!” Woobin chirped, then reached out for the other toddler. “Junyi, we match!”
“We match!” Junyi giggled back, grabbing Woobin's whale-patterned hand with his own bunny-patterned one.
You stood up, covering your mouth in delight as you whispered to Kun, “I’m literally going to cry.”
“Way ahead of you,” he whispered back, and when you looked over, you did in fact see a single tear rolling down one of his cheeks.
“Oh, oh my God, Kun.” You wiped it away with your thumb. “What’s—”
“Talk later?”
“Okay, yeah,” you nodded, looking around at the fact that you were still very much in the boys’ classroom, and had other things to do. “Right, of course. Talk later.”
Kun reached up to grab your hand that had wiped the tear away, squeezing it and offering you a smile. He dried his eyes with the sleeve of his other hand, then called for the kids, “Come on, boys. We’ve got to go. You’ll see each other in just a bit.”
Getting Woobin packed up to spend the night at Kun and Junyi’s was easy, and so was getting the two of them fed once you were there. The difficult part was getting even a single second of semi-private time with Kun to actually talk. The two boys wanted to include both of you in every single thing they did tonight, which was typically endearing, but the exhaustion that plagued Kun’s features the while time still concerned you. It wasn’t until they were finally asleep in Junyi’s room, and you and Kun had cleaned up from dinner, that you finally had an opportunity.
He pulled you over to the couch, and you sat down, expecting one of your normal grown-up, mature, face-to-face talks to happen now. You’d had a few already, about your expectations when you started dating, about the first time you spent the night at the other’s house like this, whenever there was any need to clear the air. Both you and Kun agreed that you were both at the point in your life where you couldn’t deal with the kind of tip-toeing uncertainty of young relationships, you needed something serious, with open, honest communication, especially around the kids.
But instead, Kun practically collapsed on top of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your middle. You cradled his head close to you, running a hand through his hair and stroking a thumb over his cheekbone.
“What’s wrong, Kun?” You murmured. “You seem… drained.”
“I am,” he admitted plainly, defeat in his tone. “Just absolutely… fucking dead.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, love,” you replied quietly.
“But you were such a big help today, thank you.”
“I don’t know how bringing another toddler into your home helped with that, but okay,” you said skeptically, still playing with his hair.
“Having a second set of hands to help with dinnertime, and play time, and bathtime, and bedtime…” His chest heaved with another big sigh. “And just having you around… makes everything easier.”
He reached up to grab one of your hands, lacing his fingers with yours. The grip he had made you think he wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon. “I don’t want you to leave, Y/N.”
“Kun, I’ll stay for as long as you need me to,” you promised. “A couple nights, a week, whatever you need. Life is hard, especially trying to do everything on your own. Tomorrow’s Saturday, so how about you take the boys out and I’ll tidy up around here, okay?”
“Forever?”
“What?”
“Will you stay forever?”
You stared down at your interlocked hands, the one in his hair stilling. “Are you asking…”
“You said you’d stay however long I need you to. I always need you with me, Y/N. Will you two move in with us?” Kun asked, placing a couple of long kisses to your hand. “Or we can get a new place. I just… can’t imagine having to do this without you. Both of you. All four of us.”
You hummed, your hand resuming its ministrations in his locks. “We’ll probably need a new place… but yes, Kun. We’ll move in with you.”
He quickly kissed his way up your arm to your neck and face, until he was hovering above you, a breathless smile on his features. “Really?”
“I’ll need to talk to Binnie…” You warned. “And like I just said, we’ll probably need to look for a new place, since the boys are used to having their own rooms and we can afford it combined. It won’t be instantaneous, but yes… we can start planning it.”
Then Kun was showering your face in kisses, and you giggled, cupping his face fondly.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“I love you too, Kun,” you pulled him into a soft peck, before his raining kisses started going even lower, below your jaw, your neck, your collarbones. When his hand slipped under your shirt, you looked at him suspiciously. “Hey… I thought you were absolutely fucking dead?”
“Mysterious second wind,” his words were muffled against your skin, but you could feel the sly smirk on his lips.
“Alright, well do you think this second wind can at least be moved into your bedroom?”
“Y/N, five weeks?!” Kun exclaimed, making you immediately slap a hand over his mouth and look over your shoulder at the two freshly-washed four-year-old boys sitting down to enjoy their post-bathtime show.
“Keep your voice down!” You chastised him in a harsh whisper. The living room was open to the kitchen in your new place, where you and Kun were huddled having your fervent back and forth at the moment. You’d just so very casually dropped the fact that your period had been five weeks late, at perhaps not the most opportune time, washing the dishes, but really you hadn’t meant for it to be a huge deal.
After you took your hand off his mouth, he replied back much more quietly, “Sorry, I’m not upset with you, love, I’m surprised. Why haven’t you taken a test?”
“With work and both the boys’ birthdays, then them starting VPK, I just haven’t had time to go get one.”
“Let’s go get one now then.”
“What, a family trip to the corner store to buy a pregnancy test?” You snorted at the idea, holding a dry plate out to Kun to put away.
He didn’t take the plate, staring at you as he repeated, “Family?”
“You know what I meant…” You whined, putting the dish down on the counter and covering your face in embarrassment. That was the first time either of you had referred to the four of you as one family unit.
He wrapped his arms around you, letting you bury your face in his chest. “I don’t think you even know what you meant, lovey.”
“Ugh, you’re right.” Your brain was way too scrambled at the moment, preoccupied with trying extremely hard to not think about what being late could possibly mean, what a test could possibly say.
“I’m serious, come on. We’ll buy the boys some ice cream, they’ll be none the wiser.”
“Fine, I need to put some real pants on,” you pushed off his chest, gesturing to the dingy sleep shorts were you in. “Can you—”
“Get the boys’ shoes on. On it.” He nodded firmly.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Kun, I can’t pee with you grinning at me like that. It’s weird.”
With Woobin and Junyi preoccupied with their character popsicles and a movie in the living room, you and Kun were in the small hallway bathroom closest to the living room. It also happened to be the boys’ shared bathroom, the walls covered in vinyl, removable stickers of cartoon characters smiling down at you as unnervingly as Kun was currently. It was far too many eyes for what you were doing, peeing on a drugstore pregnancy test.
“Sorry, sorry,” your boyfriend apologized, diverting his eyes and covering his mouth, though he was clearly still beaming into his hand.
Finally done with that part of the test, you set it atop the box that was sitting on the bathroom counter, washing your hands and dropping back down onto the toilet seat.
“And now we wait,” you declared with a heavy chest.
“Okay.” Kun nodded resolutely, allowing his eyes to return to you now that you’d spoken again, still absolutely glittering in the harsh fluorescents.
“Now would be a good time to talk, about if that’s a plus. You’re still grinning like a maniac, so I have a guess as to what you’re about to say.”
He sighed almost dreamily as he looked up at you, resting his cheek in his hand. “You’re just… the most beautiful woman in the world to me, right now. And I love you, so much.”
“This, me sitting on the toilet in our tiny hallway bathroom, having just peed on a stick in front of you,” you pointed between the two of you, “is one of the least romantic situations I think we’ve ever been in. But, I love you too, you weirdo.”
“That wasn’t my answer, by the way. You go first, you’d be the one carrying any baby of ours, after all.”
“After Woobin, I told myself that if I had another, I’d do it…” You trailed off as you fumbled around for the right word.
“Right?” Kun supplemented hesitantly.
“No, no, I don’t think Woobin was wrong. That’s one thesaurus entry away from ‘mistake,’ as cheesy as that might sound. But, I told myself that I’d do my next one different. I’d be married to someone, we’d have planned the pregnancy over multiple conversations, talked about kids before we even got married in the first place, I’d have talked to Binnie about it, made sure he had the emotional space for a little sibling, too.”
“And we haven’t even talked about getting married…” He breathed out in realization.
You narrowed your eyes. “Qian Kun, do you think for even a second, that I would be with you if I didn’t think that I could marry you one day? After everything you’ve learned about me? After that whole toilet bowl confessional I just gave literally ten seconds ago? Consider this the marriage talk warning. It’s coming, and when it does, I expect you to bring notes.”
“Good point, I’m sorry for doubting you, lovey. I eagerly await the marriage talks, and I’ll make sure to do my research ahead of time.”
“Good.”
“So that’s how you want to do it. What about if that test is positive? Right now?” He returned you to the present, his voice gentle, as you were reminded of the very real, very possible, tangible now that you were being faced with.
You let your head drop forward into your hands as you tried to pick apart the tangled ball that was your thoughts and feelings. Thinking back to when you were doing this by yourself the first time in your workplace bathroom, when you found out you were pregnant with Binnie… you distantly remembered how you felt when you saw that double line, that positive result. There was definitely anxiety, yes, but more than that you remembered an excitement bubbling up and overflowing on top of that the longer that it registered.
This time, you weren’t feeling any of that. Not because you didn’t love the idea of having a child with Kun, but… it just wouldn’t be the right time. The two of you had only recently moved in together, you were still getting used to enmeshing your two—or, four—separate lives into one, you hadn’t even been together for a year, Woobin and Junyi hadn’t been consulted whatsoever, not to mention they had just started VPK and would be going into primary school next year; Kun had just gotten a promotion at work, yes, but you had your eye on your own possible promotion, too. It just… wasn’t right. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you finally looked up at Kun sitting across from you in the narrow space of the hallway bathroom. You could feel the tears gathering in your eyes, his image immediately swimming in your vision.
“Oh, hey, come here, lovey,” he gently ushered you down from your perch on the toilet seat cover onto the ground with him. He settled you in between his legs, wrapping his arms around you, “Sad cry or scary cry?”
You had the urge to smack his arm for treating you like one of the kids, but unfortunately, it was a really good communication tool.
“Goddamn,” you wept against his shirt, clinging onto him. “I don’t know, Kun. I don’t fucking know. It’s not a happy cry, though. And I don’t think that any kid should be brought into the world if their mom isn’t happy at the thought of them.”
He rubbed a hand up and down your back, not faltering for a moment as you spoke. When you were done, he started, “Look, Y/N. I’ll admit, the idea of having a baby with you kind of sent me to the stratosphere there for a second. But, I think that a baby is something that needs to be two enthusiastic yeses, or it’s a no. And you…” he pulled your face out of the crook of his neck to be able to look you in the eye. “Are clearly not enthusiastic nor a yes. So I’m not either. Okay?”
You sniffled, “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, wiping at your tears. “Now, I think it’s been plenty of time. Are you ready to look at the test?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Kun stretched his arm out, fumbling along the top of the bathroom counter until he had secured the test in his hand. You turned in his arms, fully leaned against him, your back to his chest as he flipped the stick over for you two to read the results together.
Negative.
And you were crying again, but this time you knew that they were tears of relief.
“Oh, thank God,” you whispered, holding a hand over your mouth. “Oh… oh my God.”
“There we go,” Kun murmured, holding you to him by an arm slung over your waist. “Now, call me crazy, but I think we just manifested that negative pregnancy test result.”
You let out a choked laugh, “Would it be manifesting a negative or un-manifesting a positive?”
“Good question.”
He held a foot out until he could reach the step opener of the trash can, tossing the test into it. You sat there with him for who knows how much longer, until the cold of the tile finally seeped through your clothes, and your joints were aching from being curled up on your bathroom floor for so long.
“Oh shit, the boys are all by themselves in the living room,” you mumbled, beginning to detangle yourself from Kun.
“I’ll clean up in here. You get into some pajamas and then go see them, okay? They’ve been the normal amount of quiet, I think the movie’s got them sufficiently occupied, so take your time. I’ll be right behind you.” He reassured you, standing up after you did, and keeping a hand on the small of your back as you went to wash your hands again.
The remnants of the pregnancy test packaging were on the counter, not to mention the general disarray from your breakdown, and the fact that you hadn’t tidied up from the boys’ bathtime earlier that night either. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you could see that you weren’t in much better shape than the bathroom.
“Okay, yeah. Thank you, Kun.” Your voice wasn’t any louder than a whisper, and it didn’t need to be in the small, quiet space.
He pressed a long kiss to your temple before you left for your bedroom to change out of the clothes that you’d gone to the convenience store in. Putting on the comfiest pajamas you could find, you then shuffled out to the living room, which you were glad to see was in one piece. Tension you didn’t even realize you were carrying released from your shoulders when your eyes fell on the two kids sat on the couch, their attention glued to the screen.
You weren’t sure how long you had been standing there before Woobin finally turned his head to look at you. “Oh hi Mommy!”
“Hi, Ms. Y/N!”
“Hi, boys, can I join you?” You asked.
“Well, yeah!” Junyi said in the most ‘duh!’ tone you’d ever heard a four-year-old imitate. He patted the open space between the two of them. “We saved you a spot here.”
“Oh, thank you.” You sat down exactly where he had gestured, tucking your feet underneath you. Woobin immediately clambered onto your lap, and Junyi scooted in to snuggle into your other side.
“And when Daddy gets here, his spot is over here,” Junyi pointed to the remaining space between him and the arm of the couch. “And he can put the blanket on all of us.”
“Right, of course, bun,” you nodded, wrapping your arms around the two boys to hold them even closer to you.
Woobin touched a hand to your cheek, “Mommy, you’re crying. Sad cry, scary cry, or boo-boo cry?”
“Oh, no, baby, it's a happy cry,” you assured him, wiping at the couple of tears that had eked out again with your sleeve. “It’s because I love you all so much.”
“Happy cry,” he repeated, as if committing the term to memory.
Kun joined the three of you a few minutes later, sliding into his assigned seat and pulling a blanket over the four of you. Mindful of the child in between you two, you rested your head on his shoulder.
Against your instincts, you shut the front door quietly behind you as you came home that night. You’d gotten caught up at work with a deadline suddenly being moved up. You plopped your purse onto the kitchen table next to the huge LEGO set that you’d started with the boys last weekend as Kun got up from the couch to greet you. He was already in his pajamas, a stark contrast to the office wear you were still in.
“Hey, lovey,” he pecked your cheek, letting you snake both your arms around his waist and hold him closer. “How was work?”
You let out a low, exhausted groan into his shoulder. “Long. If I ever have to read another word again in my life, it’ll be too soon.”
“Then you’ll be very happy to hear that I already read the boys a bedtime story.”
“Shit, am I that late?” You sighed. “I know I told you I’d probably miss dinner but I didn’t mean for you to do bedtime all by yourself, too.”
“It’s okay, I know you would’ve been here if you could. The three of us managed for one night.”
“How was everything? Were they good for you?”
“Absolute angels.”
You lifted your head up to shoot him a disbelieving look. “Our sons? Are you sure you’ve got the right kids in there?”
Kun chuckled, planting a kiss on your lips this time. “You know us too well. Only convinced them to get in bed with bribery.”
“Great, what did you promise them? Extra hour of TV this weekend? Kun, please do not tell me you promised a new toy or—”
“Woah, woah, who do you think I am?” He snorted, clearly offended. “I just had to promise that you’d give them their goodnight kiss when you got home. They were very concerned about going to sleep without one.”
Relief immediately flooded your system, along with a warm fondness. “Oh, good. I’ll go hold up our end, then.”
“Before you do,” Kun held you by the waist to keep you from walking away yet. He lowered his voice, tone turning serious. “Woobin was asking for you before lights-out. Not just for his goodnight kiss, but he wouldn’t tell me what was going on. I have a feeling he might still be up when you go in.”
You nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, I’ll pop into his room second. Thanks for the heads-up.”
With a final pat on the cheek, you left Kun’s warm embrace and treaded down the hall that contained the boys’ bedrooms and shared bathroom. You slowly opened the door to Junyi’s room first. The room was pitch black save for the dwindling light from his glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars, and you crept up to his bedside. Just able to see the faint outline of him under his covers, you gently brushed away some of his hair and laid a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Night, bun-bun,” you murmured, then kissed his pudgy little cheek one more time before standing up. He didn’t stir, his breathing remained peaceful and as you ducked back out you closed the door even more quietly than you had opened it.
As soon as you pushed the door to Woobin’s room open, you knew he was awake. He was in a phase of sleeping with a night-light on, meaning that you could immediately see his eyes staring at you.
“Hi, Mommy,” he deadpanned, hands folded together over his stomach.
You entered the room, shutting the door behind you. “Hi, baby. What are you still doing up?”
He squirmed a little under the covers, refusing to meet your eyes as you came to sit on his mattress next to him. “Waiting for my goodnight kiss.”
“Oh, you could’ve gone to sleep,” you reassured him, moving his bangs out of the way of his forehead. “Mommy would’ve still come and given you your goodnight kiss.”
He was silent as you leaned down to smooch his forehead. Pulling back, you asked, “Is that all, Binnie?”
Woobin mumbled something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“I’m sorry, could you say that again for me? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I want to say something, but it’s after my bedtime…”
“Don’t worry, baby. I want to hear what you have to say. You can say it now.”
“I don’t want Junyi to be mad at me.”
“Why do you think Junyi would be mad at you?”
“You can’t tell them!” He suddenly exclaimed, pleading and desperate.
“Tell who? Junyi and Mr. Kun?” You asked, brow furrowing with confusion.
He nodded fervently, panic on his features.
“You remember our rules about sharing things?”
“If it’s about safety or respect, we all have to know,” he recited mournfully. “It’s not! I promise! I think…”
“How about you tell me, and I’ll tell you if it’s something we should tell everyone. I won’t get mad, and you and me can talk about it for as long as you want first. Does that sound okay?”
“Okay…”
“Whenever you’re ready,” you said soothingly, watching him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down.
“I-I want to call Mr. Kun ‘Daddy.’”
You couldn’t help but smile widely at him, taking your son’s hand in yours. “That’s wonderful, baby. I think it would make Mr. Kun really happy that you want to.”
“But that’s what Junyi calls him…”
“And you think it would upset Junyi if you called him the same thing?”
“Yeah,” he sniffled.
“That’s very considerate, Binnie,” you told him proudly.
“Are you going to tell them?”
“No, not if you don’t want me to,” you shook your head. “But I think that it would be a good idea for you, Junyi, and Mr. Kun to all talk about this together. When you’re ready.”
Woobin sniffled again, and you leaned over to hug your boy. He immediately threw his arms around your neck, burying his wet face in the collar of your blouse.
When you finally left his room after watching him fall asleep with your own two eyes, you found Kun reclined in your bed, bedside lamp on as he read a book.
“Is Woobin alright?” Kun flipped his book shut and set it aside.
You shimmied out of your work clothes. “Yeah, he’s okay. Just… needed Mom before bed.”
He nodded, watching as you pulled sleep clothes on and shuffled over to the bathroom. “Mm, of course. Mr. Kun wasn’t enough…” He sighed dramatically, making you lean your head back out to glare at him, toothbrush hanging out of your mouth.
“Shut up,” you grumbled after spitting your toothpaste out and flicking the bathroom light off. You plopped into bed, snuggling up to your pillow and closing your eyes. “He loves you, you know that.”
The sound of the bedside lamp clicking off rang through your room before you felt the sheets shift around and Kun scoot closer to you.
“I know, I’m just not ‘Mom,’” he mused, grabbing your hands to tug you toward him.
You obliged, rolling over to face him and rest your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead, still holding your hands against his chest.
“Goodnight, my love,” you breathed out, “Thank you again for handling them alone tonight.”
“Goodnight, lovey.” He rubbed soothing circles into the palm of your hand with his thumb.
As you watched Kun alternate between pushing Woobin and Junyi on the swingset, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. It was peaceful afternoons like these that you treasured the most. You recognized a few more figures that were approaching the playground, waving to Johnny and Jaehyun in the distance as Mark and Sungchan immediately ran up to your two boys. The three dads all chatted as the four kids took off from the swingset at full speed towards the slides. You were on a bench a little further from the playset, and had no qualms about sitting and resting when you got the chance.
The playground was within walking distance of yours and Kun’s house, and right by the school, so it wasn’t a total shock to see some of your kids’ classmates there. You watched with amusement as all three of the adults perked up like meerkats towards the kids, who were now lined up at the monkey bars. Mark was first up, and must have been asking for help, as Johnny yelled out a ‘just a sec, champ!’ before gesturing between the three dads and all the kids clambering for their turn.
Apparently, Johnny and Jaehyun had decided it was their turn to help all four kids with the bars, as Kun lumbered over to plop down next to you at the picnic table.
“Thank God they showed up, I don’t know if I have it left in me to carry them back and forth across the monkey bars for the next hour,” Kun grunted, dropping his head down to rest on your shoulder.
You snickered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as you watched all the children play. Woobin was the littlest, needing Jaehyun’s help all the way across the bars. The dad still gave him as enthusiastic of a double high-five as he gave Junyi after him, who was able to do a couple by himself after getting hoisted up there.
“Woobin wants to call you Dad, you know,” you blurted out in the quietness that had fallen between you and Kun.
Kun lifted his head up to look at you with wide eyes. “He does?”
“Yeah, he told me the other day. But he thinks Junyi will be mad at him.”
“Ohh…” He breathed out, nodding slowly.
“I would’ve said something to you, but he asked me not to tell you and Junyi at first. We had another conversation about it this morning, and he finally agreed that I could talk to you about it at least,” you explained. “I told him that you three should all talk. I think he’s really, really scared of making Junyi upset. They’re such good friends, you know?”
You looked on with fondness as the gaggle of kids around the monkey bars took off at a run away from Johnny and Jaehyun, apparently playing some kind of tag or hide and seek now. Woobin and Junyi were running off together hand-in-hand, giggling and cackling with laughter as Johnny mimicked chasing after them.
Kun ran a knuckle up and down your arm, trailing his hand down until he could lace his fingers with yours. “I know, sometimes I look at them and I think it’s like they’re… brothers.”
“Mm, yeah,” you hummed noncommittally. Finally taking your eyes off the playground, you turned to face him fully, covering his hand with both of yours. “Kun, with all this… it makes me really happy, you and Junyi make me really happy, and all four of us being together. But, I don’t— I’m not trying to replace Junyi’s mom. Despite what she did, he’s already had one, whatever memories he’s got of her. I want to be whatever he wants me to be. So, I’m perfectly content to be ‘Ms. Y/N’ for the rest of my life.”
“I asked him the other day, if he remembered his mom at all,” he admitted quietly.
“W-Why?”
“Morbid curiosity, I guess. He was so young, I wasn’t sure if he would. Funny thing was, he told me yes. So I asked what he remembered about her. And he just looked at me with the most confused expression I think I’ve ever seen him have and he goes ‘She picked me up from school today.’”
“Oh, oh my God,” you let out a choked chuckle, a lump growing in your throat.
“You picked him up from school that day, Y/N,” Kun said pointedly, poking you in the arm for emphasis.
“Yeah, I had guessed that,” you spluttered out, a wide, beaming smile on your face as you replayed those words in your mind over and over again.
“So it seems like, to me, you’re the only one with hang-ups about this, lovey.”
“I’m gonna fucking cry— no, scratch that, I already am,” you sniffled, wiping at your eyes with one of your hands.
“Sad cry, scary cry, boo-boo cry, or happy cry?” Kun asked teasingly, thumb wiping away one of your tears.
“Happy cry,” you answered, despite the fact that he definitely already knew. “So happy. I love you so much, both of you.”
“Junyi!” The distant voice of Johnny called out, chastising.
Both you and Kun snapped your heads up to look, only to see said child running at you full-speed.
“Woobin! Let your parents…” Jaehyun trailed off in defeat as a second small body hurtled towards you. “Sorry! We tried to let you guys have a moment…”
“It’s alright!” Kun called back to them as the two boys finally made it to you.
You lifted Junyi up onto the bench next to you with no hesitation, and Kun plopped Woobin onto his lap, his little legs reaching into yours. Junyi sat himself down on one of your legs, facing you with the most worried, intense gaze on his face.
“Are you okay, Ms. Y/N?!” He wiped at your wet cheeks. “What happened?”
“Nothing, hunny-bun,” you promised, holding both of his little hands and dropping loud smooches to them. “Happy tears, they’re happy tears. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“Because you love us so much?” Woobin asked, supplying the last reason you’d given him for your happy tears.
“Yeah, always, bubbles,” you grabbed his head to be able to press a kiss to his forehead. “Always love you guys so much.”
“Why does it make you cry?”
“Because I have so much love inside me for all of you that sometimes it feels like I could just… burst!” You said with enough of a sing-song-y inflection that it made the two kids giggle, especially when you mimicked an explosion with your hands. “So instead of spontaneously exploding, it comes out as tears sometimes. Tears aren’t bad, Binnie, remember?”
“I know, Mommy,” he nodded dutifully.
Kun spoke up then, “I think we should all talk about what was making your mom so happy this time, boys.”
Junyi looked at his dad with alarm. “What? Bin and I didn’t do anything! We’re not in trouble, right?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Woobin pouted. “Junyi—”
“No, you’re not in trouble,” Kun hushed them gently. “I just said it was making your mom happy. What about you two getting in trouble would make your mom happy?”
“Oh.”
“I mean, it’s about what you two want to call us.”
You were still cradling Woobin’s head, and stroked over his hair reassuringly. “It’s okay, Binnie. Tell them what you told me.”
“I-I want to call Mr. Kun ‘Daddy,’” he mumbled, looking down intently at his lap. “But I don’t have to if it’s going to make you sad, Junyi!”
Junyi listened to Woobin, face turning entirely confused. “But he is your dad! Why wouldn’t you call him that?” He turned his bewildered look to you next. “And you’re our mom, right?!”
“Of course I am, bun-bun,” you smiled at him. “Binnie just needs to know if it’s going to make you upset for both of you to call your dad the same thing.”
“No, Bin, s’not gonna make me sad,” Junyi said strongly. “Will it make you sad if we call her the same thing?”
Woobin sniffled and looked up, finally displaying his teary eyes to everybody. He shook his head, and you felt relief blossom out through every part of you. Kun squeezed him tightly.
“Bub, sad cry, scary cry, or happy cry?” Kun asked him.
The child took several deep breaths before he finally answered. “I-I think it was scary first, but now it’s a happy cry, Daddy. Like Mommy does.”
Kun let out a strangled chuckle as he hugged Woobin even tighter to him, planting a kiss to his temple. “That’s okay, bub. Look at you, big kid with big feelings.”
“Daddy’s crying too!” Junyi gasped. “Is it happy crying, Daddy?”
“Yeah, buddy, it is,” he confirmed, cheeks noticeably damp.
Junyi felt at his own dry eyes. “Why am I not happy crying? Mommy, why am I not happy crying? ‘M happy! I am!”
“Oh, bunny, it’s okay,” you couldn’t help but laugh, rubbing his back affectionately. “You don’t have to cry to be really happy. Sometimes you’ll be really, really happy, the happiest you’ve ever been, and you won’t cry. Everybody’s different.”
“I do.”
“I do!” Sooyoung squealed.
The officiant’s remaining words were drowned out by the crowd erupting into cheers as Sooyoung was dipped into a kiss by her now-wife. You clapped from your place behind her as her maid-of-honor, your cheeks already hurting from all the smiling you’d been doing that day.
As they practically ran back down the aisle together, giddy, you were left standing at the arch, holding SooSoo’s wedding bouquet that she’d forgotten in her excitement. The music swelled again, your cue for the wedding party to file out as well. You fell in beside Ahrin’s best man, taking a more reasonable pace down the walkway. Looking into the guests that had stood up, you caught Kun’s eye from one of the middle rows, a familiar wide, overjoyed grin on his face. He was in the stratosphere again.
You met up with Kun at your table at the reception, the wedding party table. While he wasn’t in the party, he was your plus one, and your friend of course made sure he was seated with you. After the obligatory speeches—including one that you had to give—everyone could start eating. Kids were allowed at the wedding, but you wanted to make sure that you could put all your focus on making this the best day ever for your friend and didn’t want to have the boys out too late either, so they were at home with a babysitter. After the food was the couple’s first dance, and you watched fondly from your table as Sooyoung and Ahrin swayed together, clearly in their own world, exchanging words and giggles and laughs that you couldn’t hear.
Kun’s hand and yours were entwined on your lap, and when the DJ asked for the wedding party and their plus-ones to join the newlyweds, you pulled him to floor by that hand. As Kun’s other hand settled on your hip, you affectionately smoothed down the lapel of his suit jacket before resting yours on the curve where his neck met his shoulder.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he beamed at you.
“Hi, handsome,” you replied back humorously. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“You mean there could possibly be anything on my mind other than the fact that I’m dancing with the love of my life?”
“You’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The ‘I’ve been launched into the stratosphere picturing our future together’ look,” you said frankly, but still with the same fond smirk on your lips. “So? What are you thinking about?”
His eyes widened minutely before he chuckled. “I’m having a good time with you, lovey. Is a guy not allowed to smile about that?”
“You are…”
“That’s all I was thinking about.” He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Always in the stratosphere when I’m with you.”
Despite his sweet words, you felt a twinge of disappointment in your chest, resting your cheek on his shoulder so he couldn’t see the contemplative frown on your face. The two of you were living together before Sooyoung and Ahrin had even met, you were raising two kids together right now, and had already discussed getting married—binders, spreadsheets, all your joint expectations for what you wanted out of a hypothetical future partnership like that. Why was he shying away from the subject now? Was seeing you actually at a wedding making him have second thoughts? Did it suddenly all seem too real? As if the binders and spreadsheets weren’t real enough?
Those weren’t questions to ask him now at your best friend’s wedding, so you bit your tongue, continuing to let him sway the two of you across the dance floor.
Later in the night, after your feet had gotten tired, Kun excused himself to use the restroom. You took the opportunity to catch your breath at the wedding party’s table. You’d been darting around the venue the whole time, either greeting friends of friends, dancing with people you knew, or stopping mishaps before they mis-happened. Some guests had started going home, so you felt somewhat comfortable taking a short rest.
You weren’t expecting one of the brides herself to sit down beside you, however.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Sooyoung asked knowingly.
You tried to perk up, slapping on a smile. “It’s nothing, SooSoo. My feet are tired. Why aren’t you with Ahrin?”
“We’re about to be together for the rest of our lives. I think she can piss by herself right now,” she replied.
“Oh, right.”
“And, it’s also my wedding, and I don’t want my best friend all sad and alone at my wedding. I know you’ve been fixing all my problems all day and all night. So will you let me help you with one of yours?”
You looked around to see if you could spot Kun anywhere, then leaned in towards her with a sigh. “Kun’s been acting weird today.”
“How?”
“We always talk about getting married pretty openly. But like, now that we’re at a wedding, it feels like he’s avoiding the topic.”
“Why haven’t you guys gotten married? You practically act like it anyway.”
“He still wants to surprise me with the proposal,” you said. “I told him no public proposals, no proposing on birthdays or holidays, and no proposing at other people’s weddings. But other than that…”
“When was that conversation? About getting married and engaged?”
You took a sip of your drink as you thought. “Mm… almost a year ago? Maybe ten months? It was a few conversations.”
“So Ahrin proposed like right after that,” she surmised. “He’s probably waiting for the right time. Making sure you weren’t too stressed with the kids, then the holidays, and being my maid-of-honor. Both of you are very thoughtful and also over-plan everything.”
“That’s true,” you sighed. “And also a bit less salient of a point coming from the poster child of U-Haul lesbians.”
Sooyoung wrapped an arm around your shoulders and rubbed your upper arm. “We’re different people in different relationships in different places in life, Y/N. You’ve got a really good guy who is head over heels for you and loves your kid as much as he loves you. Don’t forget all that in one night.”
“You’re right, SooSoo,” you leaned your head against hers. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She pecked your hair.
“Is everything okay?” Kun’s voice came from behind you, sounding very concerned.
“Oh, yeah, Y/N’s getting a little warm in here,” SooSoo informed him brightly, letting you go and standing back up. “Why don’t you take her outside, Kun? There’s a nice little garden walkway, I think there’s some benches out there.”
“Yeah, of course. Thanks, Sooyoung.”
Your friend gave you one last squeeze of your arm before taking back off into the crowd. Kun ushered you to your feet and guided you out of the main reception hall and into the much cooler nighttime air. Sooyoung was right, it was way less hot and stuffy out here, and there was a short walkway leading to a garden with some benches. Kun sat you down again there, rubbing your back as you stared listlessly out at the fountain in front of you. The fountain wasn’t on, the water inside of it still, and the air around you quiet and empty. In the distance, you could hear the music from the wedding venue, the thumping bass, and above you, a few stars dotted the sky next to a silver crescent moon.
“Is this better?” Kun asked you quietly.
“Yeah, thanks, Kun,” you replied shortly, still unable to shake the discomfort you felt from earlier. Despite your conversation with Sooyoung making sense in the moment, now that you were back with Kun, that uncertainty crept back into your mind.
“It was a lovely ceremony.”
“Yeah. SooSoo’s dress is beautiful on her.”
“Do you want to go home? If you’re not feeling—”
You suddenly straightened up to look Kun in the eye. “We’re going to get married, right? You do want to marry me, right, Kun?”
“Wh—” He scrambled to grab your hands in his, holding them tight. “Of course, love. Yes, of course I want to marry you, Y/N. Why would you think I didn’t?”
“I know we talk about it but… you haven’t proposed. And you’ve been acting weird tonight. And by weird, I mean normal. Like, not talking about marriage. We’ll be buying groceries, and you’ll somehow bring up us getting married, but now we’re at an actual wedding and you haven’t talked about us having one of our own at all…” The dam broke, all of your anxious rambles coming forth at once. “Nothing about if we should do this or that at ours, what flowers you might want, or even— You saw me at an altar holding a bouquet and are acting like it’s no big deal! You see our future in everything, but not today, and it’s been making me think that maybe you don’t see a future anymore.”
Oh god, you were fucking crying now. This was not how you wanted this conversation to go. Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you pushed them away with the back of your hand as you sniffled and tried to calm yourself down.
“Y/N, lovey, I am so sorry,” Kun’s voice was wavering too, and you knew he was holding back his own tears. “I do want to marry you, and I never wanted to make you think that I didn’t. You were right earlier, I’ve been in the fucking stratosphere all day, and I’ve been going crazy trying not to say every single thing that pops into my head about marrying you because I’ve got your ring and everything planned out for the proposal and it was going to be soon, I just wanted it to be a surprise for you and I didn’t want to accidentally spoil anything for you. But I never meant to hurt you, and I am so, so sorry that I did. God, I love you so much, it felt like my heart was going to give out when I saw you at the altar with a wedding bouquet, and then dancing after the first dance—”
You crushed your lips against his, letting go of one of his hands to wrap a hand around the back of his neck. He cupped your cheek softly, even as you kissed him like you hadn’t seen him in decades, and like you might never again, feverishly, past the point where you were out of oxygen and your head started spinning. Kun pulled back to pick up your left hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss on your ring finger.
“If I had it with me, I’d put your ring on you right now,” he promised, pressing another kiss to the empty knuckle. “Hell, we could elope tonight, find a drive-thru chapel.”
“The boys might feel left out,” you chuckled, pulling his mouth back to yours.
He hummed appreciatively against your lips, adding in between kisses, “Good— point. Pick them up on the way?”
“It’s past their bedtime.” You kissed him again. “They’d be cranky if we woke them up now.”
“Foiled again by two five-year-olds’ bedtime,” he sighed dramatically, leaning his forehead against yours.
“So how were you going to do it?”
“Do what?”
“Propose to me.”
“I’m still going to?”
“Well, I feel like I just ruined your surprise.”
“Me telling you what it’s going to be, would be ruining the surprise,” he scoffed and pulled back to let you see his indignant features. “Which I’m not going to do.”
You laughed, pecking his cheek. “I’m looking forward to it, my love.”
“And I’m looking forward to marrying you, and spending the rest of my life with you,” Kun sighed dreamily, pulling you in closer and resting his head against yours again. “I meant it when I said I’m always in the stratosphere with you, you know.”
“Me too, Kun.” You looped an arm around his back and under his suit jacket.
A few beats of peaceful silence went by, neither you nor Kun speaking, just the distant sounds of the music from the wedding, your own synchronized breathing, and a far-off train horn. You looked from the fountain up at the glowing half-moon above you.
“Thank you, lovey,” Kun broke the quiet, and you shifted your gaze to him, raising a curious eyebrow.
“You’re welcome?” You replied with slight amusement. “For what, love?”
“Somebody once told me that the whole point of being a parent was letting our kids know that they’re not alone in all this,” he began, rubbing his thumb over your shoulder where his hand rested.
“Who said that?”
“You did, lovey.”
“I did? Ooh, I’m smart,” you chuckled, patting his thigh. “You picked well, Qian Kun.”
He smiled at you fondly. “I know.”
“When did I say that?”
“Before we were even dating, you had invited Junyi and me to your apartment for a charcuterie night. When we were making that pitch for the preschool fundraising committee.”
“Oh, oh, oh, right.” You nodded quickly as the memories of that came flooding back to you. “You remember me saying that?”
“Of course. You completely changed my view on parenting that night.”
“Glad it was so life-changing for you.”
“It was also the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with you.”
You couldn’t help but laugh maybe a little too hard, “Oh, Kun.”
“What’s that laugh for?” He chuckled lightly despite his obvious confusion.
“I’m just remembering how I was totally going to jump your bones that night and then Junyi walked in. Meanwhile you are just… so sweet, as always,” you admitted, stroking his cheek with the back of your fingers.
Kun’s eyes crinkled as he laughed and keeled forward a little. You let him laugh into your neck, cradling the back of his head as his shoulders continued to shake.
“I—” He coughed into his elbow as he righted himself and tried to compose himself again. His eyes were sparkling with tears from how hard he’d laughed as he looked at you now, and you affectionately touched the crinkles around his eye as a couple more giggles escaped him. Once he’d finally sobered up enough, he tried again, “You’ve also helped me realize that’s not just what being a parent is about, though. That’s what being a partner is, too. Making sure your person knows they’re not doing it alone. And I hope that’s how I make you feel, too.”
“Qian Kun, love of my life that you are—” you shook your head and grabbed his face with two hands. “Of course you do, and it’s taking everything in me not to squish your head right now because of how much I love you.”
Kun just laughed again, covering your hands with his and slotting your lips together.
⤷ masterlist
#kun x reader#wayv x reader#bjnet#kun imagines#wayv imagines#kun imagine#wayv imagine#kun#nct x reader#nct imagine#nct imagines#qian kun#i: kun#f: the bite#writing#text#mine#bias tag#kunkun#*100#*200
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motel — rafe cameron
summary: reader and rafe being on one of their ‘breaks’ so reader comes and visits rafe at a motel he’s been staying at after being kicked out. but she doesn’t get the comfort from rafe she thought she would.
pairing: toxic!rafe x reader
notes/warnings: purely angst! idk what got in to me while writing this but i think i got too into it …. reader is like super dependent on rafe it’s just sad atp!!!
it was unfortunate but no one was able to comfort you the way your boyfriend did, even after hurting your feelings.
tears fell down your face as you knocked on the door numbered '56', the door of the motel you drove to hundreds of miles away, just to see him.
when the door swung open there he was; greasy hair sticking to his forehead, shirtless, with his grey sweats hanging dangerously low. you ran into him arms like you hadn't seen him years, although that's how it felt.
rafe's hand caressed the back of your head while you embraced your arms around him. your hair was messy but still soft, it was always so soft, it was one of his favorite things about you. you were literally a sobbing disaster in front of him but you're hair was still soft and smelled of strawberries and grapefruit. rafe thought out loud it might sound silly, but it was almost like it was some weird sort of symbolism, that despite everything that rafe had put out through, you were still perfect. you were still his soft, perfect angel.
"i hate you," you choked out. you 'hated' him, but there you were hugging him, all at his disposal.
"i know." rafe replied, resting his head on yours. rafe felt bad, which is exactly why he broke up with you in the first place. although, a normal functioning person wouldn't call what you two had a 'breakup'; coming to visit him at a motel because he was kicked out of his own house didn't exactly scream 'broken up' to anyone.
rafe knew you didn't hate him, maybe it was just that you loved him so much that you lost yourself in the journey.
when you were with him, it seemed like all you had was him, like you didn't know how to live or function without him. and rafe hated that, because that's exactly how he felt for you. there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for you, no boundary he wouldn't cross for you; except for being the one responsible for ruining you.
"you shouldn't be here." rafe groaned, you pulled away from the hug, every ounce of his warmness leaving your body.
"why?" you wiped your tears with rafe's hoodie that you were wearing, it basically swallowed you whole with how big it was.
"it’s not good for you.” rafe’s eyes looked down at you, you didn’t realize how tired and sad he looked too.
“you’re good for me, rafe.” you placed a hand on his chest, but he stepped away.
“i’m not y/n.”
“you can’t tell me what’s good for me rafe.” you followed him as he stepped back. your eyes felt so puffy, like they’d just swell shut if you cried anymore.
“i’m not good for you,” rafe sighed. “i mean do you see your fuckin’ self?” rafe threw his hand towards you. “you’re here cryin’ in a motel you drove hundreds of miles away to get to just because i’m tryin’ to fucking help you.”
“if you want to help me, just love me.” you didn’t have it in you to yell back. your soft but croaky voice played like a record in rafe’s head; reminding him that you’re just his soft, perfect angel. no, he definitely didn’t deserve you, but he didn’t have in it him to just never talk to you again, which just lead you both here; in this moment right now, wondering what went wrong between the two of you. things used to be so good. what happened?
“i’m tryin’ to love you.” rafe rubbed his forehead, he didn’t want to say it, but he knew he had to. “you won’t let me.”
you furrowed your eyebrows, you weren’t letting him? you were standing in front of him, quite literally begging him to love you; and you weren’t ‘letting him’?
you weren’t saying anything so rafe took it as an opportunity, “we just,” he ran his fingers through his hair, kind of pacing around the room now. “we just need to be apart for a while. kay?”
exhausted from crying all the way here and all the crying you just did, all you could do was agree. “okay.” you sighed, a tear falling down your cheek.
this couldn’t be the end of you and rafe, he loved you. right?
#bookshelf#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#toxic!rafe#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x smut#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron fanfic#divider by fairytopea
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I would love a little blurb about Eddie comforting us after getting laid off. Because naturally our self-worth took a huge hit, but our sweet boy is always there to lift us up.
This is actually pretty close to one of my current situations. Not the getting laid off part, but struggling at work. So I can definitely relate! And I hope you’re okay as well? Thanks for sending this in!
❤️
Warnings: Some angst and sadness, hurt/comfort. But then fluff and sweetness!
You didn’t call Eddie like you usually did before leaving work. He drives you and picks you up, yes, but you always want to meet for coffee before going back home. To say he’s shocked when you walk into the apartment and literally throw your purse across the room, that’s an understatement of the year. He’s cautious, like a small piece of prey in the jungle, whereas you’re the lion. Neither of you really believe in walking on eggshells, but he can tell something is seriously wrong when he finally gets on socked feet into your eye-line.
Your makeup is already smeared around your eyelashes, your nose is snotty, and you’re sniffling, staring at the wall behind him, angry at even the chipped paint. He knows this look, he’s perfected this look. Actually, he thinks this look might’ve rubbed off on you. Fear of showing vulnerability. Eddie is gentle in his coaxing, hardwood creaking beneath his footfalls.
You permit his close range, allowing him to take your hands in his. However, you don’t squeeze back, and he’s worried. “Hey, stubborn chin, you wanna look at me?”
No answer. He searches with those eyes of his, anxiety spilling over a little. He remembers that you’re here and you’re safe, so everything else is fixable. His fingers find yours to clasp, before they’re sliding in taps down the sleeve of your blouse, along your forearm, finding your shoulder blade to squeeze. You sway into him and fold into his beckoning embrace.
It takes some muffled sobs before Eddie can get you onto the couch and on his lap, his palm gently easing your face away from the cove of his curls. Looking into his eyes presses in on your guts, seeing the acceptance and love. You begin to spill through sobs.
“They laid me off. After everything, can you believe it? Four years and they decided I’m disposable. Now what are we gonna do? I’m such a fucking loser. I’m - I’m…”
The self-berating, the negativity. How it angered you when Eddie did it, and he can see why. But you’re not the enemy, you’re hurting. It’s not some random person Eddie would gladly clock the shit out of that’s saying this, it’s you. And that’s worse.
He’s shaking his head multiple times, curls bouncing. He clasps your cheeks in his palms, coolness of his rings pressing into your skin, soothing. Theres a burning intensity that draws your attention like a moth to a flame. “Listen to me when I tell you, I know what a loser looks like, sweetheart. I came from the balls of one. And you’re the farthest thing from it. You know that they messed up laying you off. As for what we’re gonna do? I can more than take care of you if you need to take a break, or even if you don’t want to go back to work some place.”
You settle, letting your ring finger wrap around a curl. That small diamond is perched there, reminding you of what’s important, what you have that a job can’t extinguish. You’re quiet, before speaking again. “But… Eddie, our wedding —“
“ — Is almost paid for. So just relax, baby. Be a bride, spend some time with the girls. Let me worry about money for a while. You just be you, which is absolutely fucking perfect the way that you are.”
“What if I turn into a couch potato, Ed’s?” You’re starting to grin a little, Eddie knowing you needed this break more than anything. Time to be a person again.
Eddie thumbs as your tears, pokes your nose. “Then you’ll be my favorite little spud.”
#kristenwrites#my work#my writing#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things fluff#stranger things blurb#stranger things drabble#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fic#eddie munson drabble#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson x fem!reader
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▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ DON’T STOP ME NOW!
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ ° I’m a racing car,
passing by
like lady godiva ✧ ⁺ ┊
PART 1 of the Spitfire Saga
TRAILER: Spitfire makes her F1 debut and changes the world of F1 forever
(2017!grid x genz!fem!reader)(SMAU)
For more Spitfire content go to my account and it’s my pinned post since tumblr hates me and won’t let me link anything :)
WARNINGS: not a lot lol language?, suggestive stuff but in a bad way, sexism, that one picture of max 💀, for me, spitfire is american, so there will be references to american things (I’m american)
fc: random girls (mostly drivers) i found in pinterest + valtteri bottas
Aaaaannnnd ACTION!
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twitter
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yourusername just shared a story!
Caption: [AP calc ❌ abu dhabi ☑️]
Replies:
charles_leclerc: Congrats, Mate! Just heard the good news! yourusername: jelly? charles_leclerc: I try to be nice and this is what I get ☹️ yourusername: liked a message
max33verstappen: Can’t wait to see you on the track yourusername: aww 😚 yourusername: only took me 3 years to catch up with you maxie 😁😁 max33verstappen: Good luck trying to catch me in the track, Schat. yourusername: 😠😠
user4: no one wants you here
user5: Give the seat to Schumacher. He deserves it 53847822 more times than you do.
yourbestfriend1: Take me with youuuuuu 😭 yourbestfriend1: I don’t want to deal with mr Henry alone 😞 yourusername: bro i would if i could but merc literally kidnapped me out of calc 😒 dw tho i still have to do henry’s work just in a plane ☹️ yourbestfriend1: liked a message
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yourusername just shared a story!
Caption: [first time in a f1 car kinda nervy]
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mercedesamgf1 ☑️
Welcome to the paddock, Y/n!
tagged: yourusername
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 238809 others
view 6389 comments:
yourusername: awww thanks admin ❤️
user6: Schumacher better
user7: def gonna crash out in FP1
carlossainz55: ¡bienvenida Spitfire!
⮑ user18: the fact that everyone calls her Spitfire 🥲
user9: poser
⮑ user8: how is she a poser? She earned her place just like any other alternate would
⮑user9: she obviously sleeps her way to the top
⮑ user8: SHE IS BARELY 18!
user10: All y’all honestly hating on a teenage girl right now 🤡🤡
⮑ user11: literally it’s pathetic
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twitter:
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yourusername
yourusername: POLE POSITYOSN!!!
ps sorry 4 swearing on the radio 😔
pps i didn’t just catch you max, i beat you 😇xx
tagged: mercedsamgf1, max33verstappen
liked by lewishamilton, f1 and 63729 others
view 16738 comments:
user19: icon
user20: proved them all wrong!
⮑user21: not like she won a race 🙄🙄
⮑user20: not like you could do any better 🙄🙄
user24: my homegirl really did max dirty
user25: Absolutely VIOLATED Verstappen
user54: how does she have that picture?
⮑ user55: her and max are childhood friends. they were karting rivals
⮑ user56: she, him and Charles were the big 3 of their age division
⮑ user54: isn’t she younger than them, though?
⮑user55: she raced 2 years up
lewishamilton: An honor to be on the track with you! History in the making 💪🏾
⮑ yourusername: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 LEWIS ON MY POST LEWIS ON MY POST 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
⮑charles_leclerc; Chèrie, you’re embarrassing me
⮑yourusername: u don’t need my help to do that 👍
user22: her and Charles HELP
max33verstappen: was that last picture necessary?
⮑ yourusername: very.
user23: her and Max HELP
pierregasly: Great to race with you again!
♡ by creator
danielricciardo: amazing driving, Spitfire! (and thank you for the blackmail 🙏🙏)
⮑yourusername: happy to help
⮑max33verstappen: 👎
landonorris: glad to see one of the ‘99s making a mark around here ❤️
⮑yourusername: awwwww lan 😗 come to f1
⮑landonorris: i lost my pass ☹️
⮑yourusername: again? ☹️
user24: Y/n and Lando 👩❤️💋👨?
⮑yourusername: OH HEYLLLLL NAWWE
⮑landonorris: EEWWWW
⮑user24: what the hell 😭
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yourbestfriend1 just shared a story!
Caption: [literally sobbing @/yourusername] ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
f1 ☑️
f1: WINNER!
Y/n L/n becomes the first woman to win a formula one grand prix! She also becomes the youngest ever Grand Prix winner at 18 years, 37 days and the first driver to win on their debut race since 1961!
Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”
tagged: yourusername, mercedesamgf1
liked by max33verstappen, taylorswift and 63738 others
Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”
tagged: yourusername, Mercedesamgf1
view 8367 comments
mercedesamgf1: THAT’S OUR GIRL!!!!!!
⮑ user25: Y/n seat when??
⮑yourusername: yeah, when??? 😇😇😇 (joking pls don’t fire me xoxo)
user26: Y/n in the comments begging for a job is so relatable
user27: rigged
user28: Obviously a PR stubt
⮑user29: How? She outpaced everyone in Qualifying and held pole for the whole race
⮑user28: last race of the season, they need some new fans, so they bring in a woman and tell everyone to drive slower to get more traffic. It’s not rocket science
⮑user30: the only rocket science is how on earth you got to that conclusion
scuderiaferrari: a historic race! @/yourusername
yourusername: Thank you @/f1 and @/mercedesamgf1 for this incredible opportunity. History was made tonight ❤️❤️❤️
⮑user31: damn right it was
yourusername: ALSO DID WE SEE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT LIKED THE POST???? @taylorswift ILYSM!!! TIWWCHNT IS LITERALLY MY HYPE SONG!!!!
⮑user32: ofc she’s a swiftie
⮑yourusername: what is that supposed to mean?? being a swiftie is the only way to live ??? how can you breathe without listening to reputation on repeat????
⮑ user33: TIWWCHNT STANS UNITE
⮑ taylorswift: @/yourusername: congrats on the win! Here’s to you, an inspiration to all of us women fighting our ways into men’s worlds! 🥂🍾
⮑yourusername: OH MY GODDDDDDD
⮑user34: is she still breathing?
⮑maxverstappen33: no
⮑danielricciardo: no
⮑mercedesamgf1: no
⮑charles_leclerc: no
⮑carlossainz55: no
⮑lewishamilton: no
⮑f1: no
⮑user35: is @/user34 still breathing?
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yourusername
yourusername: WHAT A WEEKEND!!
Mercedes!! tysm for trusting me in your car and i hope that i did you proud!!! this week has been a dream 🤍
Valtteri: I know that my win tonight is due to your misfortune, and I’m sorry we will never get to race together on the track. I hope I did you proud.
Seb, to whom I’m dedicating my maiden win to. Without you, I would be no where. your never ending support and willingness to help are the reasons i’ve been able to race as long as i have. you named me spitfire all the way back in f4 and now that nickname will live in the legendd of the sport forever.
History was made tonight, and even if this is the last race i ever drive in a formula 1 car, i’ll rest easier knowing that my win in abu dhabi 2017 will inspire the next generation of female athletes in motorsport.
Thank you to everyone who came out to support Mercedes tonight!
xx Spitfire
tagged: lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, valtteribottas and f1
liked by mercedesamgf1, lewis hamilton and 380278 others
view 279491 comments
user36: say what you want about her, what she accomplished tonight is legendary
lewishamilton: Congratulations! Looking forward to seeing you around the track next year!
⮑user37: around, not on 😔
⮑user38: Everyone join hands in prayer that Lewis doesn’t know anything about Bottas’ seat being filled and is just being nice
⮑user39: 🤝
⮑user40:🤝
⮑user41:🤝
⮑user42: 🤝
⮑yourusername: 🤝
⮑user38: GDJEIWOSK she’s so unserious 😂😂
⮑yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️
estebanocon: Amazing race, Y/n!
♡ by creator
user49: YOU DON’T BELONG HERE
charles_leclerc: great to see you finally live out your dream, mate ❤️🍾
⮑yourusername: luv ya charlie 🥂
⮑user43: CHARY/N CONFIRMED??
⮑ yourusername: 😬😑🤨
⮑ user44: Y/n really out in the trenches fighting every romance rumor
max33verstappen: I let you win…
⮑yourusername: Lying is a sin, Max Emilian Verstappen.
⮑ user45: dayumm the full government name too
⮑user46: and proper punctuation!!! max lock your doors 😰
⮑max33verstappen: Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me tonight?
⮑ yourusername: because something bad is going to happen to you tonight.
⮑user47: Max getting threatened on main 😂😂
danielricciardo: Great race and even better weekend! Fun getting to know you, Spitfire!
♡ by creator
user60: Anyone see the way she was crying when she got out of the car? Couldn’t even walk, so emotional. Pathetic.
⮑user61: Ome of the many reasons women aren’t supposed to race in F1
serenawilliams: love seeing a strong woman! Keep up the good work, Y/n! 🏆
⮑yourusername: i gasped
⮑yourusername: the 🐐 is here
user51: PR stunt.
user52: Ruining F1
⮑ user53: She’s turning F1 into a joke
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yourusername just shared a story!
caption: [otw home 😴😴]
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2.5 weeks later….
mercedesamgf1
Proud to announce that we have signed a new driver to fill Valtteri Bottas’ seat! Please officially welcome Y/n L/n to the paddock!
tagged: yourusername
liked by lewishamilton, valtteribottas and 573011 others
view 8739 comments
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✧ ⁺ ⁺ don’t wanna stop
at all…┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ °
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Aaaannnnnnd scene!
DIRECTOR’S CUT: hehe part 1 done! Sorry for any innacuracies and/ or mistakes. Turns out making these SMAUs is A LOT of work. Like a boatload of work. Anyway, see u in part 2!
A little background info:
Seb is Spitfire’s mentor and funded her career since 2009
Charles Max and Spitfire terrorized their Karting generation
Seb gave her the nickname- in German F4 she was well known to be very blunt and had a very fast mouth. Seb called her it over live TV once and it stuck
Lando and Spitfire are old friends since they were always a little different from the rest of the kids - she was a girl and he looked like a toddler
Want to join the taglist? drop a comment below or message my inbox
#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x reader#driver!reader#f1 grid x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#lando norris x reader#juliette….spitfire#juliette….writes#ln4 x reader#max verstappen x reader
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✮ an unexpected confession - gojo satoru
synopsis: gojo just won't admit his feelings for you.
warnings: fluff, fem!reader, gojo is shy in front of you btw, GOJO IS A SAP. — wc: 757
notes: let's hope this fic does not flop like the megumi and aki fic sobs </3 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE MWAH
gojo satoru is a busy man. as a special-grade sorcerer, he doesn’t have time for anything. well, almost anything. you are one of the staff members in jujutsu high, and having frequent meetups with satoru, you befriended him very easily.
your friendship with satoru deepened when you were assigned to a mission because your coworker couldn’t make it. unsurprisingly, satoru was the sorcerer they had assigned to deal with the situation.
having satoru as your friend is… interesting, to say the least. satoru makes your life more lively with his annoying antics and silly hangout ideas. his students have seen how close he’s been with you, and it’s a weird sight because they have never seen satoru be this affectionate with anyone.
“megumi,” yuuji whispers (though that was not necessarily needed since they were outside and satoru was too occupied by you), catching megumi’s attention.
“what?”
“do you think gojo sensei has a crush on y/n?” yuuji asks, head filled with questions. “i mean, have you seen how close they are? i don’t think i’ve ever seen gojo sensei be this close with anyone at all.”
“are you stupid?” megumi deadpans. “isn’t it obvious? have you seen how he looks at her?” megumi is a quiet kid, but he’s observant, which might be bad for satoru.
“y/n!” satoru exclaims, struggling to run through the snow. “come on, there’s this place i want to show you!”
you lift your head, having just sat down literally two minutes ago. “right now? but i just-” satoru grabs your hand and before you know it, you have teleported to the place satoru wanted to show you. “okay, or you can just teleport me here.”
you took a quick look around, noticing that you and satoru were quite far from where you were originally. there was no one around, flowers decorated the field in front of you, and the snow was falling. “it’s really pretty here. how’d you know about this place?”
“huh? oh, suguru told me.” satoru replied, looking at everywhere else but you. “i wanted to bring you here.”
you were confused. usually, satoru would be all over you when showing you something new, but now? he’s keeping his distance from you. “satoru, are you okay?”
satoru choked on his spit, quickly regaining composure. “wh-what’re you talking about? of course i’m fine. i have no idea what you’re talking about.”
you raised your eyebrows, crossing your arms. “really?” you stared at satoru for a long time before he caved, letting out a huge sigh.
“okay, fine! just- give me a minute.” satoru turns his body and takes something out of his jacket. “here, for you.” he gives you a keychain you were looking at the last time you went out with satoru — the only reason you didn’t buy it was that you were in a hurry to go buy megumi’s birthday present.
you take the keychain from satoru’s hand, smiling at him. “when did you get this? thank you.”
“the day after we hung out.” satoru mumbles. “um, i don’t know how obvious i’ve been with my feelings for you, y/n, but-”
“oh, you were very obvious, satoru.”
“yeah, exactly, so i just wanted- wait, what?” satoru immediately stops speaking, staring at you with wide eyes. “why didn’t you say anything?!”
you giggled. “well, it is pretty entertaining to see the gojo satoru get all flustered whenever i brush my hand against yours, or when i go and hug you.”
“you-” satoru turns red. “do you like teasing me this much?”
you hummed in reply. “i love teasing you as much as i love you.” satoru immediately went quiet, processing what you just said. it took him three seconds before he scooped you in his arms, hugging you tightly. “satoru! put me down!”
“no way! it’s my turn to tease you.” satoru exclaims happily. you can feel how happy he is. once he puts you down, satoru cups your cheeks, immediately giving you a kiss. “god, you’re so pretty.”
a giggle escapes your mouth. “you look really pretty blushing too earlier.”
“i wasn't blushing! it’s hot out.” satoru tries defending himself.
“it is literally snowing outside as we speak are you joking.” you deadpanned, giving him an ‘are-you-serious?’ look.
“hey, shut up.” satoru grabs a pile of snow below him, rolls it into a ball, and throws it at you. satoru sticks his tongue at you when you gasp.
“satoru! come back here!” you immediately started running after him, chasing him with a snowball in your hand.
#kylin.writes#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk gojo#gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader
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My BFF (Kakashi Hatake x Reader)
MASTERLIST
Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Reader
Word Count: 2071
Warnings: Alcohol mention, mental health mention, death of unnamed characters briefly
Request: Um hi, I love your writing!! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 could I please request a Kakashi imagine?? One where Kakashi and reader have been best friends forever and think nothing of how couple like they act until something makes them realizes how attracted they are to one another? (Maybe a bit steamy?) Thank you! Again I’m in LOVE with your writing 💕- Anon
A/N: This is my first fic after literal years, sorry if it is a bit rocky! I hope you enjoy Anon, I enjoyed writing it and might even do a Part 2!
You had been friends with Kakashi for as long as you could remember. In fact, you had been best friends with Kakashi for as long as you could remember. One of your first memories is of the two of you swinging at the park together, both trying to swing high enough that you would flip over the bar. Even though you never quite accomplished that, you think back on those times together fondly.
As the two of you grew older and began your Shinobi training, you remained close as you rose through the ranks to Chunin and later Jonin. However, while Kakashi became a stronger ninja over time, you felt yourself starting to waver. Not that you weren't strong in your own right, but you began to feel as if you no longer wanted to be. Missions began to feel more and more difficult, as those close to you no longer returned with you.
Through all of your struggles, Kakashi remained by your side.
"I just don't think I can keep doing this," you cried into Kakashi's chest. He laid back on your bed, back propped up on the headboard as you relaxed into him. He raised his hand to the back of your head, rubbing your hair comfortingly. "Too many of my friends have been killed, I couldn't save them. I'm not strong enough."
A sob made it's way through your body, Kakashi continuing to comfort you. He didn't need to say anything, you knew he could empathize with your words. Eventually, sleep took over your body and the two of you fell asleep. While most would have looked at your positioning as that of a couple, neither of you paid it any attention. You were best friends after all, and no strangers to a sleepover.
- Moments like that felt so far away now, as you enjoy a life now as a civilian. Seeing your condition years ago, the Hokage granted you leave and you were more than happy to take it. Kakashi supported you the entire time, and it was his support that kept you to your decision even in your weakest moments.
The two of you spent less time together now, as your job no longer kept you close. However, that did not mean you did not make time for each other. As you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the evening, you heard a knock on your door.
"Kakashi!" You grinned, opening the door to see your friend in his signature outfit.
"Hi Y/n," he replied cheerfully. Although you couldn't see his smile, you saw the light from it reach the eye he didn't cover.
"I'm just about ready." All you had to do was pull on your shoes, and you were ready to join Kakashi as you walked to meet your friends at a nearby restaurant. As you walked, you linked your arm in his. There was not a dull moment as the two of you made your way to the restaurant, Kakashi catching up on his recent missions as you did the same for him on how your own job was going. To onlookers, you were a cute couple giggling on your way through town. That thought never crossed your mind.
"You made it!" Hollered Guy as the two of you joined him and the others in the booth. As you were the last to arrive, there was admittedly little space for the two of you to squeeze in to.
"Let me go find a chair," offered Yamato, beginning to stand to do so.
"It's alright, we'll just snuggle," you said with a joking smile as you scooted in close to Kakashi. Thanks to his face coverings, you were unaware of the blush that crossed the man's face. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things you didn't notice. The way Kakashi looked at you under the moonlight as you walked together, his increased heartrate the moment your arm touched his, how his eyes lingered on you as you finished getting ready earlier that evening.
"Whatever you say," shrugged Yamato. Quickly, the group began laughing and joking as usual. It wasn't long before the drinks became alcoholic, and it wasn't long after that when Guy challenged Kakashi to a drinking contest. The two of them together in one place never ended without a challenge of some kind.
Laughing at their antics, you got up to go to the bathroom.
"Don't you dare get too drunk," you said, pointing your finger at Kakashi. "You promised to walk you home, and I'm not carrying you!"
-
Kakashi couldn't stop himself from watching you walk away, the slight swing of your hips as you walked was entrancing.
"Yoo hoo," teased Yamato, making Kakashi turn his attention back to the table. "See something you like?"
It seemed as if everyone else had noticed Kakashi's attraction to you, other than yourself. It drove him crazy. He wished it could be easy, and you would pick up on his behavior so you could just tell him off and he could move on. However, things don't usually go easy for Kakashi. He knew if you hadn't figured it out by this point, the only way out of these feelings would be for him to tell you himself. That was not something Kakashi wanted to have to do.
"So, when are you going to grow a pair and ask her out?" Said Guy. Knowing it was a sore spot, he decided to tease him a bit. "If you don't, I might have to ask her out myself."
Kakashi smirked, "she wouldn't say yes after I beat you in our challenge tonight." He threw back his next drink.
Guy turned red in his agitation, but he drank his as well to stay on pace with Kakashi.
"Are you sure you're not already dating?" Said Yamato. "I mean, you picked her up, walked here with her, and you've basically been in each others' laps all night. Not to mention you promised to walk her home, and I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time she invites you in."
"It's not like that," grumbled Kakashi.
"You don't think of her that way?" Prodded Guy, trying to use Kakashi's reaction as a distraction to allow him to drink faster and pull ahead.
"I didn't say that," replied Kakashi. He sighed. "She's clearly happy just being friends, and I can be happy with that."
-
You stood around the corner from the booth, remaining out of sight. You may not have heard their entire conversation, but you had definitely heard enough. Kakashi... liked you?
A million thoughts ran through your brain, and as much as you didn't want to admit it, the pieces fell together in a way that made sense. The way he always allowed you to be so touchy-feely in a way that nobody else was allowed, and the way he was always there to hold and comfort you. You would be lying if you said you didn't think Kakashi was attractive, but you had never truly opened up your mind to the idea of changing your relationship with him. Despite that, now that the thought has entered your brain, it refuses to leave. Your head was spinning.
Taking a deep breath, you walked back to your seat as if you had heard nothing.
"So, who's winning?"
"I am, of course," said Guy confidently. To your surprise, he was right. More empty glasses set in front of him than Kakashi. Conversation continued to flow, though admittedly you did not hear much of it. Your mind was preoccupied with what you had heard from Kakashi. Your body felt as if it was on fire everywhere where you were touching Kakashi, the proximity inevitable as you had decided to sit so closely in the booth. Every glance in his direction made things worse, as all you could notice was how beautiful he looked in the light. The slight flush to his face told you he was becoming tipsy. While your thoughts used to stop there, you couldn't help yourself from thinking about how he may look the same in other situations, blushed and breathless.
"Kakashi," you said softly, now aware of the quickness when he turned his face towards you, and the spark in his eye. "I'm not feeling well."
Concern graced his features immediately, "are you alright?"
"Do you think you could walk me home now?" As you looked up into his eye, your mind continued racing. It's as if you were trying to catch up on all the romantic thoughts you could have been having this entire time, if you had simply allowed yourself to notice how soft his hair looked, how soft it might feel if you ran your hands through it now...
Kakashi quickly made his way to get up as you did the same, bidding your friends a goodbye and leaving money on the table to pay for both his own orders and your own. You noticed it this time when Guy wiggled his eyebrows at Kakashi, winking at him which result4ed in an eye roll from Kakashi.
Had they always been this obvious?
Stepping out into the cool night air, you couldn't help but shiver. You felt Kakashi's strong arm wrap around your shoulders. Your face flushed, which did not go unnoticed by him. Luckily for you, he assumed it was related to your not feeling well.
You walked home in near silence, which you were grateful for. You were worried that if you opened your mouth to speak, you may say what you were thinking. Thoughts of Kakashi's arms around you, his hands around you.
As you reached your front door, you were relieved. Unlocking it, you weren't surprised when Kakashi followed you inside as usual. However this time, you were surprised when it made you flush again and tingle down your spine.
You sat down, reaching to take off your shoes.
"Let me help you," said Kakashi, bending to his knees as he grabbed your shoe in his hand to take them off himself. While you knew he was doing it thinking you were sick, you couldn't help the images that rushed to your mind seeing him between your legs.
"Kakashi," you whispered, making him look up at you. He noticed how flushed you still were, reaching up to press his hand to your forehead.
"What's wrong?" He said kindly, checking to see if he felt a temperature. When he noticed your forehead was not irregularly warm, he pulled away to look at your face. His breath nearly caught in his throat as he caught your eye, seeing you breathless as he looked down at you.
"How long have you liked me?" You whispered. His eye grew wide.
"What do you-"
"I heard you guys at the restaurant," you said, your voice still quiet. "Why haven't you said anything to me before?"
Kakashi sighed, leaning back as embarrassment washed over him. At least you can finally reject him, he thought.
"I thought it was obvious," he said, "and when I realized it was obvious to you, it had been long enough that I was too embarrassed to say anything."
"I wish you had told me," you said as you sat up further.
"I'm sorry," said Kakashi. "I just thought-"
Before he could finish his thought, he felt your hand on his face, reaching for his mask.
"You didn't let me finish," you said with a sly smile. He thought his heart stopped as he watched your movements, hand pulling down his mask. "I wish you had told me, so we could have done this a whole lot sooner."
You pressed your lips to his softly, and he felt as if he had been possessed by some jutsu, freezing. Your hands made their way to his chest, not helping his frozen state.
You pulled away, worried something was wrong. Your worried eyes searched his, looking for a sign of doubt. All you found was disbelief. Giving him a moment to take everything in, it wasn't long before you felt his hands on your back, pulling you closer again. His lips on yours again, you let yourself relax into his embrace. It felt like forever before you both pulled away, breathless.
"I'm glad you heard me," he said with a lazy smile on his face.
"Me too," you replied before smiling mischievously. "Want to do that again?"
#kakashi x reader#kakashi fanfic#kakashi hatake x reader#kakashi hatake#naruto shippuden x reader#naruto x reader#naruto#brrah brrah
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