#it took me forever to stop feeling self-conscious about the things i write

[arrgh-whatever]

thanks for sharing your oc content . very inspiring & refreshing , and also ? just tasty . your world is scrumptious to devour little scraps and snips of information and interactions . thanks for keeping the creative spark goin , it shines bright for the lot of us

thank you!!! it really really means a lot to me!

[electric-blorbos]

AIs with a reader who has eczema perchance ...!?

AAAAAAAAAA Yes yes yes!!! I love writing for people with specific conditions, especially ones that are under-catered to! But be warned, I don't have eczema, so I'm sorry if my portrayal of it is a little off. (I have done a little research since I thought I had eczema, but it turned out it was skin allergies.)

AIs with a reader who has eczema headcanons

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

I didn't include GLaDOS's mean comments because coming up with that sort of thing made me feel a little uncomfortable, and I doubt anyone would want to read that.

AM:

At first, AM was confused to see you scratching at your skin. He was usually so jealous of human skin and bodies, allowing them to touch things and receive sensations, but you just looked so uncomfortable all the time.

Even on good days, he couldn't be jealous. You spent so much time trying to cover up your embarrassing rashes, and he hated it. Especially when the seams on your clothes made you uncomfortable, or you got hot from wearing too long of pants and sleeves to cover your flair-ups

Occasionally seeing you while he was feeling especially angry would calm down his bouts of envy, but before long, seeing your pain just made him angrier.

Why were humans putting so much effort into war, and so little effort into alleviating discomfort for people like you? It just made him so mad!

When he finally did nuke the world, and built a lovely subterranean paradise for you, he made sure that the humidity was always just right for your skin. It took a bit of experimenting, but he eventually found something perfect.

He even started growing a lovely little garden of aloe plants for you. Of course, he could just make the aloe gel for you himself, but he liked giving you something to work on. Something to wile away the hours on, considering you would live forever and there was no one else to interact with. It was good for you to have a pastime, even if it was an easy plant to care for, like succulents.

He might use your eczema as inspiration for torture for his survivors, too. Make them rashy and itchy? Introduce new allergies? Yes please!

He could probably just cure the eczema, and he might ask you if you want him to, but he loves the pretty red patches and beautiful textured spots on your skin. The odds are, he won't cure it unless you ask.

Wheatley:

Dumbass that he is, Wheatley might make a few odd comments about your eczema.

"whoa, what's that on your skin, love?" That sort of thing.

You'd have to explain that you're not allergic to anything in particular, you just get dry and flaky skin sometimes.

Sometimes you'd catch Wheatley staring. Y'know raindrop racing? He'd be imagining how a raindrop would run down the patchy dry spots on your arm, thinking about cracked clay, or just generally getting distracted by your cracked skin.

"Hey love, why don't you wear shorts and t-shirts more often? The other cores and I think you'd look good in them."

You'd have to explain that t-shirts and shorts aren't lab-safe, and that you have to wear a lab coat and proper safety pants, even if you don't work with chemicals.

"oh. ...why?"

You don't want to tell him that it's because you feel self conscious without them, so you'd probably just shrug or tell him it was regulation, or that you just like to look science-y.

If you asked him to stop staring at the rashy spots on your exposed skin, or tried covering them up, he would absolutely beg you to let him look. Wheatley loves irregular patterns and organic shapes, so seeing your eczema patches is like free enrichment for him. It's definitely a break from the constant sterile environments that he has to look at all the time.

Also god help you if you decide to wear a T-shirt and shorts on a casual Friday. Wheatley would just be following you around and staring at you all day, probably babbling constantly about how good you look.

"I nicknamed all the patches on your body. That one on your upper left arm is my favorite, by the way. I wish I had hands so I could run my fingers along it."

You'd probably have to yell at him to shut up before he gets the message, but you might not want to do that.

Edgar:

Edgar is used to Hollywood beauty standards when it comes to people, since his only exposure to people is soap operas and Miles, who let's face it, was pretty much physically flawless.

he's seen eczema cream commercials, but they almost never show anything that might offend the public eye in those commercials, so Edgar really had no idea how bad it could get in real life.

When he first saw your bad flair-ups, he immediately thought you had poison ivy or something. He was extremely concerned, begging to know what was wrong.

When you told him that it was just eczema and that it was something your skin regularly did, he was almost more concerned. You mean you have to put up with this all the time, and there's nothing you can do about it?

It was even worse when he found out that you were self conscious about it. Of course, he gets self conscious about something he can't help, too. It's not really similar at all, but he'll use it to try to relate to you.

He tries not to bring it up, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, but sometimes you might catch him looking. He'd beg you not to feel self conscious, and try to explain how beautiful he thinks your skin is. In reality, he was just staring because he was wondering what it might feel like to rub up against that pretty textured skin.

He'd practically purr like a cat the first time you actually did give him a hug. He'd absolutely love the feeling of your skin on his casing.

GLaDOS

(GLaDOS's section is a little shorter because most of it would be full of rude comments about your eczema that I was uncomfortable actually writing down)

GLaDOS. Dear sweet mean GLaDOS. She'd be relentless with her bullying, constantly saying rude and horrible things to you.

She'd keep the comments passable as back-handed compliments or "fun facts", but she was really just trying to make you feel bad.

Secretly, though, she'd have started a test operation to come up with the ultimate product for treating eczema. She'd probably be pouring funding into it.

"Oh, good. My product is working. Now the other scientists won't have to look at that ugly rash of yours. You know that sort of thing disturbs humans, right?"

Secretly, though, she'd just want to see you more comfortable. It always bothered her to see you scratching at yourself, and it wasn't as though she could feel disgusted by it, either. She didn't mind the way the rashes looked at all, it just made her feel weird that you were always so irritated.

She'd act like a total tsundere about it, but secretly she'd be happy that you were more comfortable.

HAL 9000

If HAL 9000 cared about your eczema, he definitely didn't show it. It was none of his business.

Your physical body was nothing to him. HAL cared only for your mind, and nothing else. He barely even perceived the way you looked, apart from as a way to tell you apart from the other mission control workers.

Even still, he couldn't help but notice that on days when you were having particularly bad flair-ups, your mood was generally worse, too. He also noticed that a couple of the other mission control workers were rude about your skin.

Not being able to easily kill them from Earth, HAL simply refused to cooperate with anyone besides you while they were working, and got them fired. It wasn't perfect, but at least it got them away from you.

As for the actual problem of your flair-ups putting you in a bad mood, HAL couldn't do as much directly for that. He might adjust the humidity controls in the mission control room where you worked until your skin started to improve, or absolutely scour the internet for reviews of every skin care product he could find in order to compile data and find the best product for your condition, but it made him extremely angry that he couldn't offer a more direct solution.

[ilyuan]

◟⪩⪨ summary - “i act like you’re annoying but in reality i just wanna be so close to you” in other words, he’s pretending to work, saying how his work was taking forever when he kept looking back at you. he was “annoyed” of your bickering, but in reality you knew his needy-self wanted to fall asleep in your arms.

◟⪩⪨ warnings - literally none lol, just fluff, he’s “stressed” bc of work, touch starved!alhaitham, self indulgent, treating him like a child but in a good way (mentioned once), idk if this is good enough it’s my first time writing 😨😨 this is just full of random things idk

alhaitham x gn!reader 🪽 —

“stop being dramatic haitham,” you complained, rolling your eyes at him.

“shhh.” he replied, his eyes practically stuck on the glowing white screen that apparently he said “it’s only taking five hours.” he spoke, when in reality it was only taking two. his brain almost seemed like it was getting deformed from how much he was thinking about you.

“oh it’s deeeefinitely taking longer than that.” you replied with the most obvious sarcasm known to man.

he scoffed.

the corners of your mouth tugged up into a little smirk as you walked towards him. “haitha- oh!” you were not in the right mind to be mad at him at that moment because once you saw his screen, it was still as bright as the time you last checked on him.

which meant he hasn’t typed a single sentence ever since you came into the room.

“pretending to do your work, huh?” you tapped his shoulder, snapping your thumb and middle finger right in front of his ear so he would stop zoning out.

“imprecise. once again, [name].” referring to your earlier bickering about him taking a long time on his work, and him trying to prove you otherwise by saying “it’s not even taking that long.”

—

“just get up,” you scold him once again. “how are you gonna say your work is taking forever, but i keep catching your attention on me, hm?” you tilt his head up to reach your view, smirking in a playful way.

have his cheeks been this red from the moment you entered the room?

the so-called “stressed” man sighs, and thinks for a moment.

and finally, he gets up.

but as soon as he does, not even a second after, you immediately wrap him in your arms, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

you aggressively grab his hand and run towards the couch outside of your shared bedroom, bringing him down with you and onto the L-shaped couch.

“[name]. you gonna stop complaining about my work now?” alhaitham suddenly asked, your head tilting up to meet his eyes, then you scoff before you could even realize that he began to stuff your face into his neck.

so you take the initiative and wrap your hands around his neck, breathing softly before he finally drifts off to sleep.

“your work only took two hours, stop fake sleeping,” you complain, poking his cheek a few times.

oh, he’s actually asleep.

you sigh. “ugh, wake up,” you continue, “i didn’t bother you for nothing.”

he tightly closes his eyes, his gray hair strands blocking his view since his head was tilted down if he even decided to open them.

“you know i don’t like it when you fall asleep during our cuddling sessions you big loser,” you whisper once more.

i mean, he was the type of person to fall asleep quickly.

then again, how could you complain when his legs probably hurt from sitting in that chair for “five hours”?

and wait, was he talking in his sleep?

“…stay,” not knowing if he was conscious or not, you let out a small giggle, before you stop teasing him about falling asleep too quickly and let him be.

feeling distraught that you had to get up from where you comfortably were placed in his lap, you attempted to pull away, didn’t work. another attempt? didn’t work. he was too strong!

but finally, after a few more attempts, you managed to pull yourself out of his tight embrace of his arms wrapped around you, you head to the bathroom.

wait.

he needs something to keep him company, huh?

treating him like he was a child, you ran over to your shared room, into the end of the closet, and brought him over that one plushie he managed to get for you from the claw machine a year ago after many attempts of the metal claw grabbing at the item but then falling right out of its grasp.

you smiled.

you then ran over to his side and placed it in his arms, covering his discomfort from the cold room with a huge comforter from your bed.

leaving him be, you went into the bathroom.

—

after you were done your shower, twenty minutes after, you sprinted to his side once again, but then noticed how he was awake now.

“finally, good job,” you praise in a teasing manner.

“you okay now? from your so called ‘5-hour project’?” you teased once more.

you wrap his arm around your waist once you seat yourself down onto one of the soft cushions of the couch, before he nuzzled you into his neck once again.

“i knew you were needy.”

—

@sugarmouchie do not copy/translate/repost on other platforms. 🪽

[romanarose]

Congrats on reaching 1k followers 🎉

Can I request number 7 from the smut prompt "that was the prettiest sound i’ve ever heard" with Steven Grant? ❤

HI!!! Sorry this took forever I got caught up in writing 3 different series lol and my anxiety has been horrific since June lol bad time for a follower celebration but im TRYING

"Prettiest Sounds"

Steven Grant x Reader

Join my taglist! : Masterlist

Summary: You are self-conscious that don't sound sexy when cum, Steven assure you that you do.

Warnings: PIV sex, references to a past shitty ex.

************

You burry your face in Steven's neck as he fucks into you with care; your attempt to muffle the moans that couldn't help escape, yet another attempt in a long string of them. Steven just made you feel so good... it was hard to hide, but you tried.

When Steven moved enough to kiss and lick and nibble at your neck, you bit down on your bottom lip, a light whimper escaping you.

"Let me hear you, love." Steven begged as his hips thrust inside you, your fingers clawing into his sweaty back in an attempt to stay grounded. "Please?"

"You don't want that." It slips from your lips before you can stop it, your intrusive thoughts taking on a life of their own. You pinch your eyes closed, hoping he didn't hear you.

He did, of course. Steven had great hearing and slowed down to a stop. "Why would you say that, darling?" When you didn't answer, Steven carefully pulling out of you and making you whimper when he did. With a stroke of your hair out of your face, Steven laid on his side next to you. "Love? Please talk to me?

You hesitate, but with your eyes still closed in a cringe, you relent. "It doesn't sound good."

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What doesn't?"

Finally, you give into his gentle touches. Steven and you had only started dating recently, and only begun having sex this week, both wanting to take it slow. "I don't sound... sexy. during sex."

Steven had to take a moment to process what was said. "Well of course you do darling, I've heard you, you sound beautiful!"

"No," You shake your head. "That's not... real..."

His eyes widen comically large. "You mean... you're faking... uh- you're faking... orgasms?" He nearly whispers the last words, still a little awkward around sex.

"NO!" You are quick to reassure your sweet Steven. "I'm not faking the orgasms, I'm just faking... the sounds..." Embarrassment causes you to look away from him, but Steven coaxes you back to looking at him.

"Love... did he make you feel that way?" Steven knew you had a bad experience with your last boyfriend; he always nitpicked you in everything from the way you dress, the way you did your hair, how you walked... nothing was free from subtle critiques and little jabs.

You nod, confirming his suspicions with glistening eyes. "He said... I don't sound feminine enough."

The small rise and fall of his chest was a telltale that Steven was mentally envisioning kicking his ass. "That's not true, I know it's not. Whatever you sound like in genuine pleasure is sexy. I want to know how I make you feel, how I actually make you feel. I don't want a performance."

It took a little more reassurance, Steven encouraging you to open up during sexy and communicate, but as you made love that night, you threw away the fake, porny moans and let Steven hear you. When you came, you thought it was the least sexy thing you could've imagined, but it caused Steven to spill into you with a pathetic, loud whine.

"That was the prettiest sound I've ever heard."

******************

this was inspired by a convo between me and Dolli about Will Miller actually XD

@fandxmslxt69 @k-ra @ivystoryweaver @whatthefishh @campingwiththecharmings @littlenosoul @missdictatorme @steven-grants-world @ahookedheroespureheart @runa-falls @mikaelak @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @@myfandomlikesandstories @milkymoon2483

[rottingpirate]

Hello I want to cowardly ask you for some light angst with könig if it's not a problem. I've been craving some sweet angsty comfort with the big guy

Maybe something happened during mission and he got overwhelmed and stuff and reader finds him and comforts him

I absolutely love your writing btw I'd marry you if I could

Staawp ily <3

Lucky to have you || König x M!reader

Warnings: sensory overload, emotional hurt/comfort

Wrong. Everything was wrong.

His hands started to shake as soon as he got off the helicopter. He wanted to disappear. To pretend like he wasn’t here and instead somewhere else. Not feel anything. He was so tired and all he wanted to do was get into his room and stay there forever.

He hated it, the talking, the whispering and murmuring, the bright lights of the base, how tight his shirt felt, the light smell of your cologne. He hated it all. Every little thing had gotten on his nerves today, from unnecessary words to his struggle in opening the cabinets to successfully completing the mission.

He was exhausted. The type of exhausted that just sleep couldn’t fix, the exhaustion that creeps into your bones, dragging you under water and not letting you swim back up.

He took a deep breath, then another.

He got closer towards the entrance of his room. As soon as he got there he wanted to melt into the ground, to turn into a small puddle of nothingness. But even that wish didn’t come true as there was a knock on his door almost as soon as he closed it.

Another knock. Every sharp movement resonated in his skull.

Your voice. "König, can I come in?"

He nodded. When nothing happened he mentally cursed himself, you couldn’t see him after all. "Yes." His voice shook and felt embarrassed.

"Hey," You muttered, walking in and closing the door behind you. "What’s goin’ on?"

You. You were here. You were in his room. No. You couldn't see him like this. You shouldn't see him this weak and vulnerable. Or maybe he deserved it.

He screwed his eyes shut feeling self-conscious.

"Woah, hey, are you okay big guy?" Your voice was soft as you approached him, footsteps stopping in front of him.

"Too…much."

"Okay, try breathing in and out slowly, just try to relax..."

The man sucked in a shaky breath, holding it for a second before blowing it out slowly. It helped, but it wasn't enough. "Can I touch you?" König's eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded. A strong hand rested against his shoulder, another hand resting on his knee.

"I need you to breathe with me, yeah?" it almost sounds like you're pleading. Voice shakes where it was once strong.

König opens his mouth and tries to do as you say, but it's too much. His chest stutters and he's left wheezing.

"Slow down, König," Your tone has dropped to a whisper, your mouth is right against König's ear and he focuses all his energy on your voice.

Anything but the pain in his chest and the tears building around his eyes. "In through your nose, slowly and out through your mouth." He puts emphasis on the words slowly and König does as asked.

"Alright, keep doing that. Can you name one thing you can taste?" It was a strange request, but König thought about it for a moment, mumbling his answer.

"Coffee." You brought him a cup this morning.

"Okay, good. Now tell me two things you can smell."

"Gasoline and...books?" He heard a light chuckle.

"Okay, yeah. Three things you can hear."

He listened, trying to identify every small sound he heard. "The wind...people talking...and...your voice."

"Okay. How about four things you can feel?"

"My clothes, the ground...the bed sheets...you..." He was feeling slightly better and his breathing was more controlled.

"Okay, will you open your eyes for me?" You wondered.

König let out a shaky breath, opening his eyes slowly. He was met with a kind smile, and you were crouched down right in front of König.

"Um-"

"There, okay, lastly five things you can see." You were right infront of him, and König didn't want to look away. He knew what you looked like, but he had never seen you this close. You were beautiful.

"The wall, um... the door. A book..." his gaze shifted back to you. "Your eyes. And... your hand on my leg." Smiling, you nodded.

"Good. Better?" König nodded, knowing he was staring, but not really caring. You let out a small laugh, taking your hands off him.

"Thank you"

"König," You spoke softly. "Are you feeling a bit better?"

"Y-Yeah," He says. He sniffs and shuffles closer to you and whispers back "Please… please stay." He flings his arms around you.

"Please stay."

"Of course I’ll stay."

[trinkerichi]

TEKVENTURES! I wanna ramble about Tekventures.

if you remember them you qualify for a veterans discount

So they were Sgt.Frog ocs that my best friend SARAZA and I made on flipnote for edgy amvs and comics. I wanna say I wassss 13? give or take. But these little guys were my EVERYTHING. We thought of a billion stories about them. Then I got sick of drawing frogs eventually and wanted to make them more of an original thing. Our first sketches were of anthro goats, but over time with my style changes, an the fact that I hate spending more than 2 seconds drawing anything, they no longer resemble any specific animal and turned into fuzzy nondescript species of alien thing. ANYWAY I wanted to make them into a "real comic series" when i was 17. That's when I started the chapters that are still up on tumblr n webtoons! and a few other sites probably that I forgot about.

I've been harsh on it in the past but honestly I still love it to bits. What's there is a solid little comic and i still think it's adorable!

The only thing is, that's judging it based on what's there. It's a basis for a cute episodic thing with low stakes! Like the early mlp fim episodes or the new care bears cartoon. But that's NOT what it was planned for in the long term. Oh no, I was so ambitious. I had at LEAST 50 episodes planned which would weave together into this massive arc that would introduce other space teams, wayward space travelers with secret pasts connecting to the main cast, sad backstories for everyone, ALL of the family members of the main cast, a villian team with like... 'anti-versions' of the main cast, and a dramatically foreshadowed final confrontation with robot clones that want to destroy their planet. OH AND ROBIN too! Besides all that, they ALSO have multiple side story episodes about crashing to earth and befriending a human girl named Robin who has to keep them secret.

That might have been um. a lot.

But when you start writing a story with your best friend when you're 13 you most likely have NO CONCEPT of "too much". Who am I kidding I STILL have trouble pacing myself. But when you come up with a story it's hard not to think it's just GOLD! And that you've gotta keep it no matter what! Because that stuff is fun!

I went full force into the comic in my senior year of highschool and eventually I finished the first chapter! It took me a year. And then I looked at my plans for the other 49 episodes and thought "maybe I need to rework some things.."

I rebooted the comic once, tried making smaller stories, all that, but I wasn't quite feeling the same drive anymore. I realized I was comparing my work to high budget tv shows with like. a full team of writers and artists. and studio funding. and greenlit seasons and all that. And it was making me feel TERRIBLE about my art!

So I quit comics! I started hating comics! I hated how long they took and how restricted I felt (with my own expectations) and I lost my confidence in finishing projects because I was so sad about giving up on my big magnum opus. and I just kinda gave up and started only doing fandom art for a couple years. I did a jyushimatsu ask blog and kept it up for ages! And then a new season of Osomatsu came out and I realized when comparing it that I was basically writing an oc at this point. And that I CAN commit to long term projects if i dont get self conscious about it!

I still didnt wanna jump into comics again. But I thought of some new characters that I was becoming attached to. the very very beginnings of what could turn into a new idea.

I thought "well i still love cartoons about space! even if im not making tekventures anymore maybe i could do another space story. a really tiny one."

so i started making an rpgmaker game! and it started taking forever. so in the meantime i made a really rough doodle comic about how the characters first met. as a little side story thing.

and THAT was the key. I had to stop thinking about it like i was making a big cool tv show and starting my career and all that. its just a fun thing, off the cuff, not overthinking it, just for fun and personal expression.

so im still going with it! and its GREAT! Rocket chip has 12 planned chapters, and I'll be halfway done by the end of the year.

But BOY did it take me forever to learn that.

[varikvamp]

Again here I go, writing a thing xD part three of the Licht x Slightly Oblivious MC. You may notice this one is a bit different. I decided to just stick with the writing style I like, and also it's longer. Well, I was scared of making them to long, now I say fuck that ○~○ So, let's get on with it hehe~

♡♡♡

Licht did spend a bit on that plan he made and as he did he remembered everything that's happened. Not just the fights, but the days spent just talking and hanging out. He had realized early on that you seemed to be the affectionate type. But he still didn't get this slight Oblivious nature you had. You were clearly capable of flirting, making sly remarks and the like. Hell, you had done so with him a few times. So, while the main goal was to get you to see your own Oblivious actions, he also wanted to know the reason.

So, with a minor adjustment to his classes he stood and left a note on his desk. Fortunately Melusine had been out tending to her own guild duties he assigned to her. As he walked out, he got this feeling in his gut. He would really need to be convincing if he didn't want you to catch on that he was up to no good. But he also suddenly felt self conscious. This was practically like a date at this point. How could he not get nervous. With a shake of his head Licht pulled himself together and started walking to where the two of you had agreed to meet up. Bringing out his phone he went to send a message but then he stopped himself. You had sent a message saying you were on your way, so that meant you were already there.

With a grin he decided to leave it a surprise when he showed up. It would only benefit him in the end. Or so he thought.

You, on the other hand, were by small shoppe, one that had seats out front. That's where you sat, phone beside a sketch book you had open and some new pencils out. There were plenty of things you wanted to draw. All of them being things that were important to you. People say that a photo lasts forever, so you had started taking pictures of those around you, people you care about. Your talent for sneakily taking photos when no one was looking was unmatched by now. And one of your favorite people to take photos of was Licht. How he sometimes got lost in thought only made it that much easier to snap a photo or two.

You were currently working on drawing a recent photo you took, one of Licht deep in thought, that evil glint in his eye that said he had an Idea. You had been confronted before about the way you acted, but you couldn't help it. Everyone was so important to you. All of them people you needed to know how much they meant to you. And yes, that sometimes caused you to be a bit.. over affectionate.

Overall though, you were excited with how this was coming out. That is until a hand was placed on your shoulder and you heard Lichts voice from behind you. You had no idea why, but you ended up slamming the book shut and holding it protectively agenst your chest.

Licht, who had only just arrived, didn't even get a glimpse of what was on the paper. But now his interest was piqued. "I didn't mean to startle you." He said and took a seat in front of you. Then he noticed the.... Sketch pencils? Is that a sketch book? You looked like a deer in headlights again, it was really cute to say the least. He couldn't help but enjoy the slight upper hand he had at the moment. "You didn't say anything about having an Art interest." He said and you huffed only to quickly recover and grin with that playful nature he knew well. "Should have been easy to figure out, you did catch me at the art gallery after all."

He took the hit to his pride. Yes indeed. He should have been able to to put that together. His brow twitched and he looked to the sketchbook. "What were you drawing?" He asked, not hiding the curiosity in his voice.

"I can't tell you all my secrets~ besides its not done yet..." You still had that characteristic grin with that signature playfulness to it. You were teasing him now. He didn't know how to take it. Already everything was unraveling. He never accounted for the idea you had an interest on Art. So he was a bit thrown for a loop, again. But he could make this work... he just had to beat you at your own game.

There was his own grin. He took into account how you used his own words against him. "So if I answer your question earlier, you'll answer mine?"

Your eyes narrowed. You knew that look. It meant trouble. "Fine. You first though." You said and set down the book. Licht nodded and took a second to look away, letting a hand run through his hair. His cheeks went pink before he finally looked back at you. "I was thinking about you when I painted it." He said that bashful look on his face again. You froze, now it was your turn to stop functioning for a moment. The information took a few seconds to process and for some reason you felt embarrassed.

"Your turn." He said and all of a sudden you grew very self conscious of the sketch. But without verbally answering him you opened the pad and let him see what was there. His face went from pink to red and the he looked back at you. The sudden tension between the two of you could be cut with a butter knife at this point. "W....why-"

"Because I want to draw things that are special to me..."

He couldn't tell if you were still oblivious or not. It didn't seem like it but... he needed a different approach. This wasn't working. It was just getting awkward. He stood and moved to sit next to you. "Do you understand why I used you as a muse?" He said and it was like his attitude changed. For once you were flustered, you had no comment, no remark. Licht sighed and put a hand to fix his glasses. In truth, he was mostly just fed up. After realizing everything how could he not get a bit frustrated? "It's because i..I..." He couldn't say it so instead he grabbed your shirt collar and pulled you close, your lips meeting his.

It was brief, and you started to get it. But how could you miss it? You started thinking back, all the memories going by in seconds. You had been captivated by his paintings at first, then when he helped you for the first time... you had always been attracted to him. You just couldn't see that he was also attracted to you. And you also realized that you didn't really hide your attraction to him. Hugging him from behind, holding onto his arms, feeling excited whenever you saw him.

Before Licht could pull away completely you grabbed a hold of him. That boldness you always had coming back. The playful nature, the sly look on your face. Licht gulped.

Perhaps he shouldn't have provoked you...

♡♡♡

Next part will be the last one for this! And I think you know where this is going~

[two-sides-samecoin]

I personally believe that Max should have survived season 4! It's just the way that the show played it that drives me crazy. Because in that situation, Max should have died and if they wanted her to live, they should have changed the way that part of the show played out. El has never had CPR powers before, and it's not something that is really in her power skillset. From what I recall, her powers consist of being able to move things and finding people. So, like how did she revive Max? What also puzzles me is that Max regains consciousness and then fall into a coma? I saw a theory a while ago where it was said that Vecna is holding Max's consciousness captive and that's why she's in a coma, which I think could work. (Also, according to the Duffers, Max is in a coma and is brain dead and it has to be one or the other because brain dead is dead dead. There is no activity in the brain, so that person is dead. Meanwhile a coma is when a person a person has minimal brain activity, but still has brain activity! You can have one or the other! Not both!) But anyways, I feel like if they wanted Max into a coma, having Lucas do CPR on her is a better narrative option than El reviving her. And right now, without season 5, it feels like the Duffers just copped out of killing Max because they didn't want backlash, so they just went as close as they could without actually killing her.

But yeah, the Duffer's actively made their nightmare world less threatening than it was in previous seasons and for what? So characters could just go and romp around in them? Like ahhhhhhhhhhh. Although, I read this devastating fic about Steve's bat bites refusing to heal and he dies from them and it's just...I cried. It was devastating. I am tearing up thinking about it. It is sad.

And Eddie's death was done so badly narratively because there was no reason for him to stay and cut the rope. There was no reason. The narrative tries to justify it with, he's going to stop running, but he was running because of self preservation? There's this article where the Duffers say that Eddie is a tragedy character and he was meant to die because he doesn't have anything left, if he goes back then he's going to jail and like that's the worst justification for killing a character. The Duffers write this universe, they could have literally had the federal government stick in and declare Eddie innocent. Like there are so many ways to get him out of that. But the Duffers decided that the only way was to kill him. Like it feels like they were just killing off characters this season to fulfill some checklist instead of trying to write a good story.

I am so sorry it took me forever to get to answer this. yeah like max should have survived but yeah you’re right the way they play it out is kind of questionable. although my heart was breaking in this scene as the production of it and the acting throughout this scene was chefs kiss!!! it just blew me out of the water ngl. also ngl i don’t know much about the medical side of it all so like yeah i don’t really have much to say about max being conscious and then going into a coma. honestly i think you’re right and that’s why they wanted to cop out of it like they didn’t want to go and fully commit to it. which i think the audience would have a right to be upset about it all if they did go about it because with how her storyline went and with how the other storylines went with the victims - to me it personally would send a very bad message. or it would fully deep dive into being on a full on tragedy which i don’t think the duffers want to fully commit to.

yeah i think the duffers focusing so much on the vecna/henry lore ended up hurting them in expanding on the UD in general so it made the world less scary. i think the introduction of the bats could have even been more scary like each time they’re faced with more monsters/hybrids from their world which are now guards to the gates! like the bats genuinely could have been way more scary than just injuring steve and killing eddie. but anyway lol i went on a different tangent there but i would love to know that fic if you remember it!

ohhh eddie’s death was so stupid! it also could be just because i hate the whole ‘i ran and now i have to make up for it by being brave’ especially cuz eddie’s situations where he ran was for sensible as he could do nothing and he was freaking out which anyone would have done seeing someone just levitate when you don’t know this shit. (personally i also feel like the ones in canon who do know about the UD would have maybe also run as they have no idea what’s happening). i think the duffers were right in saying that eddie was a tragic character but not for the reasons that they state. especially because saying he does cuz ‘he has nothing left’ is actual bullshit when the duffers spent all season sucking up the eddie and dustin friendship to the point where dustin in volume 2 doesn’t have a single convo with anyone besides eddie during all the planning and putting their lives on the line. like they were building something up for eddie and there was evidence (even if it was very little) that eddie did have friends and a band. like they’re reasoning is so weird. oh it absolutely feels more like a checklist of killing characters instead of ya know taking care into what’s going on.

[ashdreams2023]

i saw you’re taking request! which is epic bc i rly like your writing

can i request loki reassuring his s/o after they’ve been crying and feeling insecure and thinking loki would leave them one day? loki plans on marrying them someday when they’re ready so he magics two promise rings to show them they’re his forever? /gen

Loki reassuring you he’s not going to leave you

You shouldn’t have opened the tv that day, especially knowing that there will be many people throwing themselves at him.

He was an avenger now and it was his first official public appearance with everyone else and they getting asked questions and taking pictures and all.

He had fans now, you’re really happy and excited for him because of that but the self doubt was clear in yourself.

Everyone somehow looked prettier, more confident and so smooth with conversation.

It made you feel self conscious, Loki had so many options and could easily leave you.

You didn’t know what he saw in you all of a sudden.

You closed the tv feeling just absolutely hideous and started crying.

You weren’t sure if you were crying over yourself or crying because you think you’ll lose him.

By the time Loki went back to the compound and into your shared room he found splashing water over your face in the bathroom.

"Darling I’m back!"

Your lack of response made him suspicious that something went wrong.

He walked into the bathroom and turned off the water in the sink.

"Love, what’s the matter? Are you perhaps feeling ill?"

You shook your head, refusing to look up and show him your face.

Loki sighed lifting your chin and gently forcing you to look into the sink’s mirror.

He frowned upon seeing your red Buffy eyes and clearly redden face.

You were crying.

"Who made you cry?"

"Nobody…"

"Then what made you cry?"

He hated fishing for answers but you weren’t making it easy and he didn’t want to use his magic to read your mind, that would be low.

"Darling just tell me what’s the matter, I won’t judge you I promise" you knew he wouldn’t and it made you want to cry again.

"Why do you even love me?" You choked out.

Loki blinked confused at the sudden question.

"You could have anybody, someone smarter and more attractive but you’re with me…I’m-"

"I’ll stop you right there" Loki turned you around to face then kissed you deeply, in his own way of calming you down.

"You’re wonderful, funny and absolutely the light of my life, I shouldn’t remind you of that because you should know"

You avoided his gave, feeling embarrassed already from your question.

"Don’t be embarrassed…I’m assuming you saw the event today. Next time I’ll just bring you along" before you could protest about what he just said he lifted you off the ground and threw you over his shoulder like you weight nothing.

"Loki!"

"Calm down I’m only taking you to bed"

He carried you out the bathroom and sat you damn carefully on the matters.

He took both your hands into his and kissed your knuckles.

"I was going to wait but I guess I should make things clear"

Your eyes widened when both yours and his ring fingers glowed and beautiful matching sliver rings with an emerald stone appeared on both of your fingers.

"It’s official but…this is a way of me promising to marry you when day, when you’re ready of course"

You looked at the ring in disbelief and the urge to scream I’m ready was strong but you knew better.

"I…I’m sorry…for doubting us?"

He chuckled cupping your face then kissing your forehead tenderly.

"Never be sorry. You’re perfect just the way you are and I wouldn’t dream of replacing you"

You giggled kissing his palm then letting him pull you into a warm bear hug.

"I love you Loki"

"I love you more angel"

[gubler-me-up]

No Need to Rush

Request: can u pls do a spencer x bau fem! reader where she’s dyslexic but also a genius like spencer and like someone maybe another member of the team/unsub makes a comment abt her being stupid. and she gets really upset abt it. then later spencer comforts her and they have really romantic but rough sex. where he’s just like reassuring her of how smart and beautiful she is.

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took a lil long to complete but I wanted to make sure I wrote this accurately and incorporate everything you wanted into it! Please let me know if you don’t feel as if this representation of dyslexia sits right with you and I will edit it no problem. This fic also concludes smut week (woo!) so I hope you enjoy 💓 

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Smut

Content warning: Learning disorder degradation, mentions of violence, rough sex, fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, choking

Word count: 3.2k

-------------

It was the dead of winter in Seattle, Washington and a sniper decided it was the best time to have some target practice. His target practice ended up taking three innocent people’s lives as they were living their day-to-day lives. To top off his killing spree, he wrote handwritten letters to the police department. His letters were rambles about him not stopping until he finds his final target.

Hotch had left Spencer and you to go over the letters to try and figure out any indications of who his final target could be. He had sent JJ and Morgan to interview the victim’s family members to try and see if there were any similar people in their circle. Having you four working diligently on piecing the entire story together could end up saving another person from meeting an early demise.

You loved working with Spencer because the two of you were always up to speed with your thinking process. Both of you analyzed each letter with care, making sure nothing was missed which could possibly be used as a clue in identifying who this person and who their real target is.

You felt as if you were taking too long to go through every letter. There were about 20 of them and his incoherent rambles were giving you a hard time efficiently reading them. You had 10 to go through and Spencer was already finished and writing on the whiteboard clues he found in the letters. You were still on your seventh letter, dissecting and writing down what you thought was important. You couldn’t help feeling bad you were taking a long time.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

Spencer looked back at you with a questionable expression. “For what?”

“For taking forever. I’m taking up time reading these letters when I should be brainstorming with you.”

“Y/N, you’re not slowing down the process. If anything you taking your time can identify some major evidence.”

“Yeah, but you could do it within two minutes.”

“Doesn’t mean anything. Valuable information is valuable information no matter how long it takes you to find it. Besides you’re the smartest person I know, so nothing will get past you.”

“Doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”

“I’m here to remind you it’s all the time. I’ll be here to remind you every day if you ever doubt yourself.”

You smiled as you felt your worries drifting away. You were always self-conscious about having dyslexia. Growing up with it was the hardest part of your early years because people would see your extraordinary capabilities but questioned them whenever you had to read or spending longer than usual completing tasks. It was embarrassing for you. Even in adulthood you felt anxious about letting people know you were dyslexic because you were worried they wouldn’t see you as a genius.

When you let the members of the team know you were dyslexic, they accepted you as you were. It made you feel welcomed and understood for once in the longest while. It was especially nice hearing Spencer say you were a genius regardless of your dyslexia. You felt as if he understood you the most out of everyone because he had a rough time growing up as a child prodigy.

As you continued to read through the letter you were on, something caught your eye. You looked up at the whiteboard to see what Spencer had written. He had written about sunsets, trees and a park. He had concluded it was about Kerry Park in Seattle and speculated the unsub could possibly live near there. What you had read though made you think of a different possibility.

“Kelly Park,” you said aloud.

Spencer turned to you. “Kelly Park?”

Before you could explain your findings, Hotch and detective Royce entered the room. You were happy they did, so you could explain to everyone your theory as to who the unsays actual target is.

“Find any useful information we can put towards finding the unsub?” Hotch asked.

You nodded. “Yes. Kelly Park’s the end goal.”

“Kelly Park? You mean Kerry Park by West Highland,” detective Royce said.

“No, I mean, yes, but the unsub slipped up…uh no, they-uh- replaced Kelly with Kerry because there is a Kelly Park who lives nearby,” you explained.

“Wait, so is it Kerry or Kelly the name of the person who lives nearby Kerry’s Park?” Hotch asked.

“Sorry, sir. It’s Kelly Park who lives nearby Kerry’s Park.”

“How can you even speculate that?” Detective Royce asked.

“Because it’s in this letter. He says, ‘I spend my days looking at Kelly Park and wondering when I’d be brave enough to leave. I don’t think I am but one day I’ll be free,’” you said while holding it up.

Detective Royce took it from your hand to take a closer look. He furrowed his eyebrows as he read. He looked back up at you questionably.

“Maybe he’s dyslexic. Only an idiot would write Kelly instead of Kerry when referring to Kerry Park,” he said.

You clenched your jaw as he said his ignorant statement. You knew the unsub wasn’t dyslexic and you had a clue right infant of you. You snatched the letter away from his hands as you took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“I’m actually dyslexic myself and I can tell you right now this unsub is not,” you said.

“I should have known from the time you mixed up Kerry and Kelly in your explanation. For a genius you sure don’t talk like one,” he said.

You felt your eyes stinging from the tears which were trying to breakthrough. What he said was familiar to everything you heard from your childhood. It was degrading to hear it when you knew you were on to something. Especially evidence which could potentially save someone.

“Don’t talk to one of my agents with such disrespect, Royce. My team and I would never slander your team, so we expect the same courtesy back,” Hotch said.

“Hotchner, you can’t seriously believe this is a connection,” detective Royce said.

“Who said it couldn’t be?” Spencer said.

“Common sense. He’s trying to mess up his words on purpose to take us off track from what really matters,” detective Royce said.

“Well, I’m not taking that risk. While you stand there with your arro…ignorance, I’ll actually go and do something about this piece of evidence,” you said as you walked by him to exit the room.

You could feel your heart drop with every step you took. Before you called Garcia you took a trip to the washroom. You went into a stall and made sure it was locked before you let your tears escape. You hadn’t felt humiliated for the longest time. The questionable look and harsh comments detective Royce spat at you made you feel sick. You knew you were smart and you knew you were onto evidence to save someone’s life. Yet you were doubted.

You wiped your tears away and took a few deep breaths before exiting the stall. You couldn’t let what he said distract you from finding Kelly Royce. You knew it would affect you for the rest of the day but you would sleep better at night knowing you saved a life. You didn’t want to be crying over two things tonight.

------

You sat on the edge of the hotel room bed. You had finished getting ready for the night and were ready to get into bed to forget about the day. You were happy you were right about Kelly Park and saved her hours before she was scheduled to go into the heart of Seattle for an appointment. Her ex-boyfriend, Michael Richards, had plotted for months on how to make her death look like an accident. Too bad his guilty conscience and ego didn’t mix well and he compulsively wrote down his thoughts.

It bothered you immensely detective Royce still didn’t give you your flowers at the end of everything. You understood not everyone would apologize for their ignorance and you should be used to it by now. However, you couldn’t help but think about it over and over.

You heard a few light knocks on your hotel room door. You looked at the clock. It was 11 p.m. You got up to go peek through the peephole to see who was trying to get your attention this time of night. You looked through the peephole and saw Spencer standing outside. You opened the door. As you opened it he looked at you with a smile but you could see the concern in his eyes.

“What brings you to this part of town so late?” You asked.

“I want to make sure you’re okay before you go to bed. I know how frustrating today was for you and I don’t want you going to bed with doubt on your mind,” he explained.

You stepped aside and gestured him to come inside your hotel room. You were happy he had stopped by. He was always the first one to give you words of encouragement and a reason to put your doubts aside. You closed the door and made your way over to the edge of the bed to sit. You patted the spot next to you for him to sit down. He took the seat next to you, sitting closer to you than expected. You two were shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. It was comforting to you for him to be so close.

“You know, if it wasn’t for you pointing out Kelly Park in his letter, she might not be alive,” he said.

“I know and I’m glad it worked out in the end. I just…”

You trailed off as a wave of doubt overthrew your thought process. You started to think if you had been wrong, if it were just your dyslexia getting the best of you, an innocent life could have been taken. A tear slipped from your right eye. You quickly wiped it away before Spencer saw. He must have seen it escape because he placed his hand on your thigh and squeezed it.

“You have a beautiful mind, Y/N,” he assured you.

“It doesn’t translate properly when I say the wrong words, read slower than average, mix up-”

“And all that doesn’t make a difference to how you save lives every day. If detective Royce wasn’t so prideful he would have thanked you properly for bringing to light what they brushed off,” he said.

You chuckled. “Yeah, he is a prideful idiot.”

“Exactly, so don’t let him or other doubters get to you. I believe in you wholeheartedly and always will. The team does as well, so we’ll always back you up.”

You smiled brightly at him as you felt your deep sadness fade away. He had such a way with words you felt as if you could rule the world solely based on his encouragement. You opened up your arms and embraced him in a hug. He wrapped his arms around the small of your back. He rubbed your back gently as you placed your head comfortably in the crook of his neck.

“I love how you’re always here for me, Spence,” you whispered into his neck.

“I’ll always be here to remind you of your worth and beauty,” he said.

You leaned up from his neck and faced him straight on. Your faces were just an inch away from each other as you lost yourself in his eyes. You softly smiled and found yourself saying things before your brain could process them.

“I could just kiss you right now,” you blurted out.

“Why don’t you?” He asked.

You were now speechless as you weren’t expecting him to be open to the idea. Perhaps he did find more than just your mind to be beautiful. One of his hands moved from your back and found its way to the side of your face. He moved your face closer to his and your lips finally met each other. He gently eased his tongue into your mouth before he dived fully into your mouth.

You placed your hands on his chest. You pulled on his shirt to bring him forward even more to minimize the space between you two. He moved his hands and placed them both on your hip. He brought you onto his lap without breaking your kiss. You glued your hands to his face to prevent him from even considering moving away from you. His hands squeezed before slipping his hands down your pyjama pants.

You didn’t give it a second thought and raised yourself off his hips so he could pull your pants off along with your underwear. He leaned away from your lips as he stared at you with a deep yearning in his eyes. He caressed his hands up your thighs, to your hips and then under your shirt. He pulled your shirt off to reveal your bare breasts.

“I hope you like what you see,” you said.

He smiled. “Of course. You’re beautiful beyond words.”

He then placed your right nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around your nipple. You moaned loudly as his tongue made your nipple feel a stimulation you never thought they could feel. He freed your nipple from his mouth as he quietly hushed you.

“We can’t let anyone know where in the same room together,” he whispered.

“I don’t care,” you said as you desperately leaned into him to steal another kiss.

He kissed you back. You held his head in place so he wouldn’t dare move away from you again. You soon felt his thumb circling around your clit. It wasn’t enough to make you stop kissing him but it made you release endless moans into his mouth. You then felt him shove two fingers into you which made you stop kissing him and set your moans free into the atmosphere. He pumped his fingers in and out of you so quickly you couldn’t find the time to catch your breath.

“If you can’t handle my fingers, how do you expect to handle my dick, beautiful?” He asked.

“I…I can,” you stammered.

He smiled. “I haven’t doubted you yet, have I??”

He took his fingers out of you and went to work on undoing his pants. You stared down at his huge bulge as he slipped down his pants and then his underwear. Your eyes widened as you saw his dick. He looked at you to see the amazement in your eyes. He softly chuckled as he grabbed your ass and squeezed it tight as he brought you forward to position you.

“Sit down on it and try not to be too loud,” he demanded.

You did what he asked and lowered yourself onto his dick. The further you went beyond the tip the more your mouth went agape. You could barely even get to the base without feeling as if his dick was already completely inside of you. He did you the favour and forced you all the way down on his dick. You let out a shriek which was cut short by him sticking his two fingers coated in your juices inside your mouth.

“Bounce on it and don’t make a sound. Understand?” He asked.

He nodded your head ‘yes’ for you and you started bouncing on his dick. You could feel your legs quaking as you engulfed his dick in and out of your repeatedly. Once you established a rhythm, you rolled your eyes to the back of your head and enjoyed every inch of his dick stretching your walls.

“How about we pick up the pace?” He asked.

Your eyes shot open as he bucked his hips up and disrupted your rhythm with his new set motion. You moaned heavily around his fingers as his dick kept ramming into you with no mercy. He used his other hand and squeezed your left breast. He licked your breasts before gently biting your nipple.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

“I only ever treat extraordinary women like this,” he said.

“Really?” You moaned.

He lifted you off his dick and laid you on the bed. He gently wrapped his large hands around your throat as he positioned himself on top of you. You could feel your adrenaline pumping as he lowered his face down to yours and kissed you softly on your lips before he stared into your eyes.

“You’re the only extraordinary woman I know,” he said.

“Fuck me like an extraordinary woman,” you said.

He obliged and rammed his dick into you with urgency. You moaned repeatedly as you took in every inch of his dick inside of you. He kissed along your jawline before reaching your ear.

“Who gets fucked like this?” He asked.

“Extraordinary women,” you whimpered.

“And what are you?” He asked.

“An extraordinary woman,” you whimpered.

As he continued to fuck some sense into you, he whispered nothing but the sweetest things in your ear. He called you beautiful, brilliant, amazing and his favourite, extraordinary. It felt nice hearing those things being repeated over and over in your ear especially by him. His dick definitely enforced the message as with every word he said to you, his motion would intensify. You wrapped your legs around him as he continued to fuck you.

“Where do you want me to cum, beautiful?” He asked.

“Inside of me,” you moaned.

He tightened the grip around your neck. “Louder.”

“Inside of me,” you shrieked.

“Look at me while I cum inside of you,” he demanded.

He grabbed your face to keep you still so your eyes were focused on him the whole time. He bit his bottom lip as he stared at your worn-out expression as he fucked you. He slowly stopped going at his rapid pace and soon stopped. You felt his cum fill your insides and you let out a soft moan at the feeling.

He let go of your neck and eased up from on top of you. You felt him stick two fingers in you and he pulled them out quickly. He placed his cum covered fingers on your lips. You opened your mouth and licked the cum dripping off his fingers.

“I don’t ever want you to doubt yourself again. You’re fucking amazing,” he said.

You leaned up on your elbows and smiled. “You are too.”

“Since I can’t stay in your room for the night without raising suspicions in the morning, how about we do something when we get back home and you can stay the night at my place? You know, for extra reassurance,” he said with a smile.

You giggled. “I’d love that.”

He leaned into you and gave you another big kiss on the lips. As he parted from your lips he stared at you with softer eyes from before and brushed your hair back.

“Maybe I’ll stay for a few more minutes. You like cuddles?” He asked.

“I love them,” you said.

He chuckled. “Great because I have a deep desire to cuddle you and make you know you’re treasured.”

You could have cried when he said that. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips. It wasn’t the best time to cry. You wanted to cherish the moment as a positive part of the day.

“Thank you, Spence. You’re extraordinary.”

“I guess that makes us a perfect match.”

“It sure does.”

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection​, @slutforthegubes​, @pinkdiamond1016​, @spencerreidsthings​, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @slutforsr​ @bxtchboy69​, @fallinallinmendes​

MASTERLIST

[kpopxx]

Spy Games [Chapter 1] : More Than It Seems

Characters: Twice Momo, Male Reader

4579 words

Authors Note: This is literally the first fiction writing I have done since I was a little kid writing stories about a town full of hamburgers. I was inspired to try my hand at writing by the plethora of amazing kpop smut writers out there right now, but by @lockefanfic​, @nsfwtwicecatcher​, @nsfwflint​, and @ggidolsmuts​ in particular. If there are any similarities between my writing and theirs, please forgive me as I’ve spent more hours than I’d care to admit “researching” their work. 

One thing that amazes me is how the hell everyone cranks out thousands of words with such frequency, as this post isn’t even 5k and it took forever to write. I can’t begin to explain how much respect I have for all the authors out there who can write so much and maintain such high levels of quality.

As a new writer, I welcome any and all feedback! Feel free to drop me a line if you have any critiques, or if you just want to chat!

***

“Coming up on the target now.” 

“Roger that, remember the office is on the top floor. Let us know when you’re inside. And remember, no elevators...” teases your handler, Choa.

“Thanks for the reminder,” you reply sarcastically.

You survey the skyscraper against the night sky--it would be impressive if it weren’t one of a hundred just like it downtown Seoul--and wonder what you had done to deserve getting the short end of the stick. Of course, you knew there was a reason to avoid the elevators: they sat directly in front of the building’s concierge and the cameras in the lobby, while the stairwell lay in a remote part of the first floor. The logic behind your impending hike didn’t make the reality any less abhorrent.

“Meanwhile, Seolhyun gets to infiltrate an organization in the Caymans. Just my fucking luck.” you grumble to yourself.

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby,” says Choa, reminding you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You sneak past the lobby and towards the back of the floor you find the entrance to the stairwell in a poorly lit area.

“Beginning my climb.” you report, shaking out your legs as you prepare to go up.

“Sir, I-I’m getting some interference over comms,” chimes in the timid voice of the girl you knew to be your newest team member, Yoo Jeongyeon. “It could just be local chatter, but I want to make sure it’s not someone trying to listen in.”

“Probably nothing to worry about, but we’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to worry about.” Choa assures you. 

As you climb up the stairs, you wonder why anyone would want to listen in on this particular mission. This was a run-of-the-mill operation to investigate money laundering at an accounting firm. You’d infiltrated foreign governments, broken into and bugged the offices of billionaire CEOs, and tailed enemy agents. You could understand people wanting to hear those comms, but this? Either someone wanted something to listen to as a sleep aid, or this mission was more interesting than it looked.

A tip had come in through one of the new girls at the Intel Desk reporting that there was some fishy activity related to organized crime going on at the accounting firm. This was routine and you’d gone on dozens of similar recon missions before: break in, find suspicious intel, get out. But if someone wanted so badly to hear what was going on, the new girl may have stumbled onto something worthy of a promotion. Hayoung, you think her name was. Her chestnut, shoulder-length hair along with her well-endowed physique reminded you of a young mother, but her mature beauty belied her young age. You had caught yourself more than a few times fantasizing about her in your off hours…

You stop mid-way in the stairwell, scolding yourself for losing focus. Too often over the course of the last year you found yourself fantasizing about the women in your life. Sure, before the incident with Eunha you had sexual thoughts about your coworkers--you were surrounded by beautiful women, after all. But recently you noticed that your life was increasingly preoccupied with sex: both in your thoughts and the real-life exploits you carried out. 

Much longer than a few minutes later, you reach the 63rd floor out of breath and sweating, wishing more than ever that it was you and not Seolhyun lounging on the beach. You take a moment to compose yourself before peeking out into the office floor to see if the coast is clear.

“We may have a problem, boss. Jeongyeon looked into the comms disturbance and someone much more sophisticated than the average joe is definitely trying to tap in,” Choa says. “Jeongyeon’s kicking their ass right now blocking their access, but there’s only so much she can do alone. Eventually we’re going to lose control of this channel.”

“Dammit. I knew something was off with this op,” you grumble. “If they want to listen in to whatever I find, it must be important. We’ll go dark. Recon says this should be a quick in and out anyways. I’ll tag you once I’m out.”

“Be careful. Signal us if anything goes wrong. Just don’t do anything stupid.” replies Choa. 

“What do you think they pay me all this money for?” you tease, wanting to put her nerves at ease. “See you on the other side. Over and out.”

You could hear the concern in her voice. Even though keeping you safe was part of her job, you knew she cared about you. You also knew as well as she did that anything could go wrong even in the five minutes it would take you to break in, especially when it appeared that someone knew exactly what you were doing.

You switch off your comms link and head out the door and into the office.

It looked exactly as you expected--rows and rows of non-descript cubicles, with a princely office lined with glass walls occupying the far corner. Jeongyeon had retrieved the floor plan by hacking into the building’s security database earlier in the week, and you knew after her effort tonight in detecting and fending off the comms interference that Choa would want you to acknowledge the work the new girl had been putting in. She certainly was more skilled than the five previous team members you’d fired after Eunha, but you found it difficult to bring yourself to praise her. The Ops Officer position she occupied was a sore point for you, after all.

You deftly pick the lock on the corner office door and immediately sit down in front of the terminal on the desk, logging in with the security bypass Jeongyeon drew up. 

Again your thoughts drift to Eunha. Eunha was your longtime Ops Officer--highly skilled, you trusted her more than anyone. It also helped that she was your fiance. It made you sad to think about her; about what could have been, what should have been. Over the past year, you were constantly reminded of her absence by the utter incompetence of her replacements. You suppose it was nice that at the very least, Jeongyeon didn’t give you many opportunities to bemoan her performance in the same way--to remind you of Eunha.

You shake your head, compelling yourself to rise out of your funk and get on with the mission.

As you scroll through files, you stop on one with a familiar signature. Reading its contents, your eyes open wider--suddenly you understand why someone would be interested to listen in to your communications. You quickly save the file to your flash drive and stand up to leave, only to be startled by a figure in the doorway.

“Care to tell me what’s on that?” comes a familiar voice from the darkness that you knew to be Hirai Momo’s. Momo was an agent for a foreign espionage agency--you had as friendly a rivalry as you could have when working for different governments. 

“What was the point of trying to hack our comms if you were just going to show up and ask me that?”

“I had no intention of coming until you decided to ghost your girlfriends,” teases Momo. “Besides, I like showing you how much better I am at sneaking around.”

Momo flicks on the light and she comes into focus. The Japanese government made a good decision when they hired her, you think. She was built for the job of a seductive spy. Her perfectly toned legs had a lovely sheen all the way up to her short skirt, while her cleavage suggested that her tits were ready to burst out of her tight, patterned blouse. Where most of your attention was drawn, however, was her lustrous blue hair, which fell to her shoulders.

“I may actually need your help with this, once you see what’s on it,” you say, nodding your head at the flash drive.

“Oh, so you’re willing to give it to me? I thought I was going to have to fuck you for it,” she says sarcastically. You knew behind the humor was more than a nugget of truth, though. Sex had been the primary vehicle for information trading with Momo over the years. You decide to test your reading of the situation.

“Just because I need your help doesn’t mean I’m giving it for free…”

Momo brings her thumb to her mouth and bites gently as she ponders your not-so-subtle proposition. She takes her turn to look you up and down, making you feel more than a little self conscious in her gaze of judgment. After so many years in the dangerous world of espionage, there were only a handful women who could make you feel so small. Then again, Momo was no regular girl. 

Once she’s satisfied she has properly appraised your worth, Momo lets go of her thumb and straightens her blouse.

“Fine,” she says matter-of-factly, “let’s get to it,” unbuttoning her blouse as she walks towards you.

You are surprised by the lack of fight she put up, but you thought it best to keep that to yourself. Her tone reminds you of a business meeting--that is, if you hadn’t seen her pull her top off as she approached you. She sits in your lap on the chair, wrapping her arms around your neck as you meet her lips for a kiss. Momo’s mouth was familiar to you, introduced to you many times throughout your career. It seemed like every time you ran across her you had sex. One thing you adored about your relationship with her was that it was absolutely without strings attached. You fucked for work, but just because it was part of the job didn’t mean you both didn’t enjoy it. 

Momo, however, was loath to admit the pleasure she got out of her liaisons with you. Call it pride, call it being professional, whatever--Momo refused to act like sex with you was anything other than work, no different than working in a spreadsheet.

You feel her reach down to your pants, quickly unbuttoning them as she sinks to her knees in front of you. You smirk--her eagerness to please you betrayed her air of ambivalence.

Momo wastes no time getting down to business. You are certain the Japanese trained her very well in tender foreplay, but it seems she doesn’t care much for subtlety at the moment. Instead, she utilizes a more direct method to extract your pleasure--one that must have required its own fair share of training--as she spits on your cock before immediately forcing it as deeply in her mouth as she can take it. One, two, three bobs is all it takes for her to reach the base of your cock, her nose buried in your pelvis.

“Fuuuck me, that’s good,” you groan as you hold her head in place for several seconds, and Momo replies in turn with a cough that spits a healthy serving of saliva on to your cock. You release your grip on the back of her head to give her a chance to breathe, but she surprises you when she simply continues to work her mouth on your increasingly saliva-drenched cock, swirling her tongue around your base. Most of the other women you had slept with in recent months would be gasping for air by now, but Momo’s demeanor was cool, calm, and collected. Almost as if she was reading your mind, Momo paused her slurping and pulled her mouth off your shaft--but not forgetting to continue stroking it with achingly deft corkscrew motions.

“What’s the matter? Girls in your department not able to take care of your cock like a real woman?” Momo clicks her tongue and grins. “I’ve told you for years, you’d never be treated so poorly if you came to work for a professional outfit like ours.”

“Shut up and suck my cock.”

Momo shrugs, and gets back to the task at hand. Slobbering even more as she takes you into your mouth again, you pause to thank your lucky stars that you had a job that paid you in part to fuck women like Momo. You gaze upon her face, which has become just as messy as your cock. Momo’s sloppy blowjob has not only left liberal amounts of spit on your cock, but on her face as well--with strands of her blue hair plastered to her cheeks. Even though you thought it impossible, you feel your cock get harder at the sight of Momo’s messy face.

For several minutes, Momo continues inhaling your cock as you find yourself nearing the point of no return, you yank Momo’s head off your throbbing cock in order to prolong your session. A bit too forcefully, it seems, as Momo falls over onto her side.

“What the fuck!” yelps Momo as she picks herself back up, glaring at you. “I suck your cock and you thank me by throwing me on the ground?

“I didn’t mean to, I’m just not ready to cum yet. We both know you would’ve ignored me if I had asked you to stop.”

“I guess you’re right about that,” Momo replies sheepishly. You knew from previous run-ins with her that she loved nothing more than swallowing cum. Even though you had just denied her that favor, you were already thinking about how to make it up to her in a few minutes.

“How about I repay your kindness? Get up on the table and let me eat you.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. I’ll get up on the table, but you’re going to fuck me.”

“Someone’s eager to see what’s in this thumb drive,” you tease, inadvertently reminding yourself that this was a transactional liaison. You suspected that Momo’s interest in you extended beyond her desire for the information at hand, and part of you yearned to take her outside of the confines of work. You’re skeptical such a day would ever come, however, given how ambitious Momo was. 

You knew her story--she applied for a job in the Japanese spy agency several years ago, making it all the way through the process before being cut at the very end. She ended up receiving an offer shortly after one of the other finalists died in a ‘training accident’, but Momo lived with a chip on her shoulder ever since. She lived and worked with a pathological drive to prove the agency wrong in their original decision to cut her. Already the youngest lead operative in her country’s history, she had an eye on the directorship and seemed destined for it. So, you supposed, it was nice to be able to fuck her before she became famous.

Momo hops on up on the desk, hiking up her skirt to reveal a delicious-looking blue thong that matches her hair. She looks behind towards you with lust heavy in her eyes as she pulls her thong to the side, revealing her glistening pussy--already dripping, you noted.

“I don’t have all night.”

More than happy to oblige, you line your painfully throbbing cock up with her pussy and you can feel the warmth radiating from it. You take a second to appreciate Momo’s incredible physique as your hands graze downward from her upper back, to her hips, and finally to her ass. As you rub it, you cannot help but appreciate how sublimely taut it is. 

“Jeeze, you act like this is the first time you’ve seen a woman naked,” Momo jabs, interrupting your reverie.

You are starting to get annoyed with Momo’s demeanor. It was nothing new, really--she always carried an air of superiority--but it nonetheless grates on your nerves to see her be so dismissive. You are mature enough to understand that at least a part of this aggravation had to do with the fact that you knew Momo slept with plenty of men for work. Not so mature, however, to be able to stifle the primal urge deep inside of you that wanted Momo to see you as the best of all her lovers. More than ever, it seemed that sexual vanity mattered a great deal to your self-confidence.

With a renewed sense of purpose and your cock in hand, you enter Momo slowly with a long stroke until you fill her to the hilt. In unison with your initial insertion, Momo lets out a whine that crescendos as you bottom out.

As you begin to thrust in and out Momo settles in and widens her stance ever so little, which has the added benefit of allowing you to go even deeper into her warm, wet pussy. Momo was not a girl of surprises. Her face was gorgeous, capable of angelic beauty and fiery lust. Her body reflected the many hours she spent in the gym with ample breasts, insanely tight abs, and a toned ass to match. Her pussy feels exactly as sublime as her beautiful face and incredible body suggested. The perfect combination for a woman who used her body to seduce and take advantage of brainless men. You decide to push out your mind the realization that at this very moment, you are in fact one of those men.

You wanted to make sure Momo felt each and every drive into her hot flesh. Momo continued to moan quietly, each breath punctuated with a new thrust and the sound of your skin meeting hers.

“Looks like someone’s gotten real quiet all of a sudden,” you say, noticing her haughty attitude had subsided as pleasure took you both over.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Momo says, looking back at you with rekindled determination in her eyes, “you’re no better than half the guys I’ve been with. I’m here for the file, not for whatever you call this.” She cooly turns her head to face front again, leaving you seething.

Your twinge of annoyance was now a bubbling boil.

You slow down before withdrawing your cock from her warmth--Momo lets out the faintest whine of disappointment, betraying her dissatisfied front.

Just as Momo turns her head again to complain, you quickly slam your cock deep inside her. Momo yelps, and you notice her eyes bulge as you move your hips in a circular motion with your cock filled to the hilt, scraping deep inside her pussy. After several seconds of this you grab a makeshift ponytail out of her hair and yank backwards, causing her to gasp and arch her back instinctively. As much as she bothered you with her air of indifference, you had to admit that the image in front of you was the stuff of dreams.

Taking advantage of the highly erotic sight before you and the increased leverage offered by your grasp of her hair, you began to truly fuck her with quick and powerful strokes.

“Take it, Momo,” you grunted, beads of sweat beginning to form on your forehead.

Momo said nothing, emitting only breathless gasps from her open mouth. You noticed that their intensity was gradually increasing, so you increased the speed of your shaft penetrating her young, sinful body. You knew she was enjoying this, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until you broke her facade. You wanted her to lose herself to you.

You speed up even more, and the volume of your skin slapping together increases as her pussy drips wetter and wetter, mixing with your leaking precum. You are slamming your cock into her now, and Momo has to grab on to the table to steady herself. Slowly but surely her pretense was crumbling.

“You want it, don’t you Momo? You want more?”

“Fuck yeah,” Momo gasps hoarsely, struggling to speak with her hair being pulled, “Give it to me...o-oh...fuck, give it to me!”

Satisfied that she had succumbed to her pleasure, you relax your grip on her hair slightly and lean over to growl in her ear.

“I’ll give it to you. I’m gonna make sure you remember this, make sure every time you’re with another man you wish it was me.”

Momo acknowledges your promise with a deep groan, giving you great pleasure as you resumed fucking her gorgeous body.

Your eyes drift downward to her glorious ass, now shining with sweat and jiggling violently with each crash of your cock inside her. Inspired by the sight, you release her hair and put one hand on her hip and begin striking her ass with your other. Momo shrieks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with lidded eyes while biting her lip to tell you she wanted more.

Again you oblige, and it was quickly becoming clear that lust and pleasure were staging a coup of Momo’s senses. She’s making lots of noise, but nothing intelligible. Nothing but guttural moans interspersed with high-pitched squeals. You continue spanking her ass, alternating cheeks--noticing a deep pink beginning to form on both. She’d most likely be dealing with soreness for several days after this, you think.

“You wanna cum, Momo? Cum for me, I know you want to.”

“Mmmmm...Ah, ah, AH! Unggghh,” comes Momo’s response.

“Come on Momo, fucking cum baby...cum all over this cock,” you shout, sincerely hoping there was no one working in an adjacent floor to hear.

“FUUUUCK!” Momo screams eloquently, suddenly dropping her head as her body begins convulsing. You knew what to expect having slept with her before, but you are nonetheless surprised to see how completely overtaken her body was by pleasure. Her upper body jerks spastically as her legs tremble with your cock plunged deep inside her pussy, all the while letting out a high-pitched whine that turns into a soft whimper. Just a few minutes before she was defiant and happy to throw insults at you...now she was a mewling, writhing mess incapable of speaking. The dark, primal part of you is satisfied by her tacit recognition of your talent.

After a short while, Momo begins to compose herself and lifts her upper body from the table. You take it as a sign to slowly resume taking your cock in and out of her. You decide to give her now glowing pink ass a rest and caress her back, tracing long lines with your nails.

“Mmmmm, that feels good,” Momo says, her eyes still closed, “you fuck me so good.”

You slowly begin ramping up the pace, rolling your hips with each stroke. You want to make sure your cock pleases every inch of Momo’s pussy, and make sure it craves you when she’s alone at night. 

After several minutes of this tender, softer version of lovemaking, Momo comes back to her senses. She arches her back again and turns her head to gaze in your eyes as you continue to take her. She begins to move her ass back and forth on your cock in unison with your own strokes.

“Oh my god, you feel so good in my fucking pussy! Every...fucking...stroke!” Momo gasps, the final words punctuated by the force of her majestic ass crashing against your cock.

“You’re a bad girl, Momo,” you tease, “you like being taken and shown who’s boss, don’t you? You like me grabbing your hair and slapping your ass?”

“Yes!” she gasps, “Yes I love it! Mmmmm...I want you to fuck me until you cum. Fuck me until you cum!”

There was no command in the world easier to follow.

Satisfied that you had fulfilled your vain, immature desire to see her acknowledge your skill as a lover, you now focus yourself on extracting pleasure from the young woman beneath you. You settle into a pace with rough strokes, fiercely pounding her over and over. Your pleasure rises with each thrust, aided not only by the mindblowing caress of her pussy, but by the incredible sight of Momo on all fours before you moaning with each strike of your cock inside her.

“Fuck Momo...I don’t think I have much longer, I’m gonna fucking cum so hard!”

“Yes,” comes the response from Momo, “Yes, yes! Fucking cum baby, I want your cum so bad!”

A few more thrusts and you can feel the point of no return coming. For a brief moment you contemplate cumming inside Momo, to truly claim her. You quickly reconsider, wanting to give her what she truly wanted--to swallow your load.

And so, you quickly withdraw your cock from Momo’s now sopping wet pussy and she instinctively turns around and drops to her knees on the floor. Stroking your cock with great fervor, her mouth wide open begging for what was to come.

“Please give me your cum, please, please! I want it...I need it! Cum for me!”

Your head tilts backward as a long groan escapes your lips. Your cum explodes from your shaft, shooting long, thick ropes of semen into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Over and over, your cum splashes on her beautiful face until you finally reach the end of your orgasm, panting and exhausted. Momo’s face is a pornographic picture of lust, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she swallows the mass of cum you deposited in her mouth.

“I fucking love your cum,” Momo says as she wipes the remaining cum off her face with her finger and promptly brings it to her tongue before swallowing it down as well.

“I’m glad we were both able to get what we wanted,” you say, struggling to catch your breath.

“Speaking of getting what I wanted…” Momo says, nodding her head to the part of the floor where the USB drive now sits, evidently thrown from the table during the session that had just taken place.

“Right,” you say, suddenly remembering you’re here for work, “make a copy and let’s get out of here.”

“Great,” says Momo, still on the floor with a satisfied smile of content on her face, “Hey, I meant what I said about having you join our team. As much shit as I give you, we could really use someone with your talent.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m better off staying put. Don’t think the Korean government would let me live if I tried defecting.”

“Probably true,” says Momo as she begins picking up her clothes, “Never hurts to ask, though.”

***

A few minutes later, you and Momo had both gotten dressed and copied the file onto a drive for her. Momo disappeared into an adjoining hallway and you set off to traverse the stairwell again. As you prepare yourself for the descent, you also steel yourself for the repercussions of giving the intel to a foreign spy agency. With the information you saw in the file, you knew the Japanese would have to be looped in sooner or later. If it was going to happen eventually, you thought it made the most sense to entrust that intel to the agent on the other side you knew would make sure things got done correctly. As logical as it seemed to you, however, you knew it wouldn’t be taken well back at the office.

You click on your comms link, now knowing there’s nothing to fear. 

“Hey Choa, I’m on my way back to the rendezvous.”

“Oh thank god! That took forever, I was about to call for a tac team!” Choa sighs with audible relief, “I take it you got everything you needed?”

“Got more than I needed, actually,” you say, nervous about Choa’s reaction to what you say next, “Listen, there’s one small thing you should know...”

“You did WHAT?!”

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper - Part Eleven

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader Warnings: SMUT, fingering, oral (F receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, swearing Length: 2.1k Notes: Okay, I officially hate writing smut? Like, this took forever to write and I’ve never hated writing a chapter more. Don’t think I’ll do anything this detailed again it reads so awkwardly!? I’m not even going to read it through to make sure there aren’t any wonky mistakes so feel free to dm me if you see any glaring issues I’d love you forever (be kind)

Series Masterlist

You wanted him in you. 

In your mouth, in your needy cunt, at this point, you'd just be happy with him in your hand, but Frankie had other plans. Once the shower water had run cold he had helped you out of the shower, back to being the complete gentleman he always was, acting like he hadn't just been holding you up against the tile wall finger fucking you to completion.

He'd barely let you touch him and the lack of contact was driving you crazy. Once you'd dried off you had planned on sinking to your knees and finally getting a proper taste of him. His cock was impossibly hard, slicked already with the pre-come that was leaking from his red, swollen tip. The sight of it making your mouth water and cunt clench.

Just as you dropped your towel into a convenient, cushiony pile right at his feet, however, Frankie grabbed you for a bruising kiss. Pressing his body flush up against you, he guided you back until you felt the press of the counter on your ass, not stopping until you were leaning against the mirror and your feet had come up off the floor.

Frankie pulled away from your mouth slowly, the hungry look in his eyes making you feel like his prey. He dragged his lips down your neck, stopping to sink his teeth into the tender flesh where your shoulders met your neck causing you to cry out his name in a broken voice you barely recognized as your own.

As his mouth moved to worship your chest, his hands found purchase in the supple flesh of your thighs. Running his fingers from your hips to your knees and back, thumbs digging in to massage the muscles tired from your day at the fair. Groans, whimpers, and panting breaths all fell from between your kiss-swollen lips despite your attempts to quiet yourself.

As if reading your mind, Frankie gently bit down on the nipple he had pulled into his mouth to get your attention then moved back just enough to murmur, "Let me hear you, honey. I want to hear how good I can make you feel."

You weren't used to the encouragement, the attentiveness, so you had a hard time allowing your cries their full volume feeling too self-conscious. When Frankie sank to his knees, threw your legs over his shoulders, and licked you from ass to clit? You all but screamed for him.

With one arm slung across your hips, holding you in place, Frankie used the other to continue teasing and pinching your nipples while his mouth devoured you.

If this had been happening with any other man, you would have probably stopped it by now. The counter was cold, your ass felt like it was constantly on the verge of slipping off the edge, your neck was going to have a crick in it tomorrow from where it was bent against the mirror.

None of it even registered in your mind, though, with the way Frankie was playing you like a flute. Both of your hands were tangled in his hair, gripping tight to both hold him in place and to keep you grounded. Feeling a familiar burn building in your body, drawing towards your core where it would compact and pulse before the explosive release, you tried to grind your hips up against his face.

"Please," you beg, "please, Frankie! I need you, oh! Yes! I need, I need..."

"D'you need to cum, baby girl?" Frankie asks, panting against your core.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes, Frankie please!"

"Then cum for me," he commanded before sucking your clit into his mouth and thrusting two fingers deep into you to strum against that sacred spot inside of you that made you see stars.

You came with a shout, legs clamping together and trapping his head where it continued to work you through your convulsions. Pulling away once your legs had become rubbery enough to weaken the cage they'd created, Frankie gives you a quick, dirty kiss before helping you walk to his bed area to dress. Watching him pull on a pair of faded, well-worn jeans caused your brain to short circuit.

Why was him going commando so fucking hot?!

"I don't know about you," his voice snapped you out of your lust-laden haze, calling from the kitchenette "but I'm famished!"

"Are you serious?!" You huffed out, half in exasperation and have in amusement.

"Frankie, you're-, you haven't-, I mean." There was no delicate way you could phrase this, "Don't you want to fuck me?"

You could feel the heat from his gaze even from the distance, see the way his eyes darkened again with lust. "Of course I do, you know I do," he practically growled, your thighs clenching and rubbing together in response. "But when I do, I don't want interruptions. I don't want to be able to get up again before tomorrow. So I'm trying very hard to ignore how fucking incredibly sexy you look, perched on my bed like that, and make us some food."

You'd never been good at accepting compliments, and Brad's habit of dishing them out only to expect something in return had made you uneasy from them. This time, though, you could see the truth in Frankie's eyes, the simplicity in the way he says them like a fact.

"If you don't put on some clothes though," he continues, voice more gravelly and strained than ever, "I'm either going to ruin dinner or scrap that plan entirely."

Taking pity on him, and what you could only assume was a terribly painful erection straining in his jeans, you picked through his closet and found a pair of boxers and a threadbare flannel shirt to wear.

"Hmm, look at you," he practically purred, gazing at you with heavy-lidded eyes, "you're stunning." Pulling you into his side and kissing your hairline he continues "I remember thinking how beautiful you were the first time I saw you."

You laughed, remembering your first interaction, "That was the least flattering introduction, oh my god! I had forgotten our little spat at the market!"

"I'd seen you earlier," he admits with the ghost of a smile like he was reliving the scene in his mind. "You had the happiest grin on your face, chatting so easily with everyone, and you were holding a big bunch of sunflowers." His eyes focus again and he sheepishly glances to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck, "Aw man, I wanted you to come and talk to me so badly. I wanted to see that smile directed at me."

"And then you insulted me instead," you finished for him, the mirth evident in your tone. "You know," you suddenly recalled a drunken conversation you'd had with a friend months ago "I just remembered I owe you a kiss and Jacquie's regards."

Turning from the cutting board, and the ingredients for what looked like a delicious stir-fry, Frankie gazed at you with a lazy smirk curling his lips. "Is that so?"

"Mmmm," you nodded, looking at him through your lashes. He didn't immediately turn back to prepping food and you took that as an invitation. Wrapping your arms around his neck you softly pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"That's for making great cider," then kissing his nose "and that's for being a great boss," his chin, "the greatest handyman," his lips, "and for trapping you on the Ferris wheel for nearly an hour."

Frankie huffed out a laugh then silenced you from further embarrassing him, he didn't do well with compliments, by kissing you back with fervor. Fuck dinner, he thought, having you couldn't wait any longer.

Sweeping you off your feet, swallowing your surprised shriek with a kiss, Frankie carried you back to his bed. He had restrained himself so well already, taking his time with you and pacing himself, but the way you looked in his clothes, on his bed, and under him was just too much.

"I need you," he gasped as he kneeled over you, gripping the lapels of his old work shirt you’d decided to wear, "I don't know if I can be gentle."

"I don't want you to be."

Something in him snapped, he was no longer controlled and methodological, his body was running on pure, animalistic instinct now. Ripping his shirt apart, sending buttons flying, Frankie crashed his mouth to yours again. A small sane voice in the back of his mind took note of the hunger in your kiss back, assuring him that you were more than okay with his pace.

Bracing himself on one arm, he used the other to help you rip the boxers off your legs then cupping your core, wet again for him already, while you made quick work of his jeans.

The minute they were down far enough for his cock to spring out he was shoving your hands away, gathering your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head, and he entered you with one swift pump of his hips.

He stalled out inside of you, needing a minute to steady himself as your wet heat engulfed him. The scrape of your nails on your shoulders and ragged gasps were driving him wild but it was your impossibly tight cunt that nearly made him finish before he'd even started.

Breathe, breathe, think about unsexy things. Apples, nothing sexy about those- a memory of you singing endearingly while picking apples invades his thoughts. Okay, uh trucks? Driving my truck- suddenly he's remembering how concerned you'd been for his farm and not your truck during that freak storm. Fuck! This isn't helping. Mom? Ew- he's picturing you, round and glowing, arms cradling his future child with a soft smile on your face.

Realizing that his efforts to distract himself weren't going to help, he began to plow into you in earnest. Giving your wrists a final squeeze he commands you to keep them there with a "Stay" and a dark glint in his eyes. Your pliant body and complete trust in him is making his head swim, it may have been close to two years since his last hook-up but he knows that abstinence isn't the only reason this is feeling so good.

He crushes his mouth to yours again in a needy kiss before kneeling back so he can watch himself disappear into your greedy cunt then reappear, covered in your slick.

He was getting close and, by the sound of your ragged cries, you were too. Hoisting your legs up until they're flush against his chest, ankles resting on his shoulder, he tilts your hips and thrusts up into you. Looking, for, the perfect, angle- you scream his name and he knows he's found it.

Holding that position and pistoning into you, Frankie is sure you're going to have bruises on your thighs from where his arm is keeping them trapped against him. He can't help it though and is pretty sure you'd swear at him if he decided to suddenly stop to switch positions.

He wants you to cum again, one more time, when he does.

"Frankie!"

Your voice sounded wrecked, words rasping through a throat unused to the moans and cries from the past hour. He noticed how your knuckles were white from where they grasped the pillow in a death grip, trying your absolute hardest to please him by keeping them where he commanded.

"You've been so good, honey" he crooned as his thumb found your little bundle of nerves and rubbed circles around it. "Come on baby, you can do it, cum for me."

Shaking your head back and forth, you cried out to him "I can't! I can't! I need to touch you, I need more!"

"Yes, you can," Frankie practically growled out and felt your cunt clench around him as a result. "Let go-" pinching your clit hard "-and cum."

Frankie slammed into you one last time before the pressure that had been building up at the back of his cock finally explodes. A white-hot explosion erupts down his shaft as his hot cum shoots out in a blinding wave of ecstasy. Simultaneously, your back had arched and Frankie could just make out, through the haze of his own release, the way you screamed his name as your orgasm hit.

His entire body was like rubber, it never ceased to amaze him how fast the come-down hit him, and he flopped down onto you for a minute to rest. Your hands finally moved from their imaginary bindings and smoothed the hair from his sweaty brow, huffing a laugh as the euphoria that only a good fucking can provide hit.

"Told you we'd be great," you whispered.

He could hear the smugness in your voice and it made him smile and wonder what else the two of you could be great at together.

Part Twelve 

[unsymp-sides-content]

I wish you would write a fic where Janus was told constantly when he was younger that the light sides would never love and care for him because he's a snake by the other dark sides. So Janus grew up super self conscious about his snake traits and gets super confused when the other sides compliment them ~🥔

This took forever but I hope you enjoy it

Characters: Janus, Logan, Roman, Patton

Word Count: 1.5k

Janus couldn't remember how old he'd been when he'd first mentioned thinking that his scales were pretty around one of the others. He could remember the way they'd looked at him though, incredulous and amused. And he could remember their laughter.

"Pretty?" they had mocked. "Who in their right mind would find those disgusting things pretty?"

Janus had frowned at that, not knowing what to say and the others had gone back to their conversation. But he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

Later that night, he'd stood in front of his mirror, slowly running his fingers over the left side of his face. The scales felt smooth and he slowly turned his head back and forth, watching the way they changed color slightly in the light.

Before, he'd always found it mesmerizing. Now, he couldn't get the others' words out of his head.

By the next morning, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. He paused in the hall after breakfast, staring into the mirror they had there and trying to decide whether his scales were beautiful or hideous. One of the others had caught him looking and sneered at him. "Admiring yourself again? I'm surprised you can stand to look at yourself for that long."

Janus really should have stayed silent then. But he couldn't help himself. "What do you mean?

The other side rolled his eyes. "I mean, you have to know how unnatural they are. All weird and inhuman. It's kind of creepy."

"...Oh." Janus had not, in fact, known that and the words stung more than he would have expected. "You really think they're that bad?"

"We all do. That's why we avoid you so much. Makes it kinda hard to look at you or, you know, like you."

And that, that hurt so much more than Janus had ever realized something could.

All he could manage was another, mumbled "oh" before he hurried back to his room, locking the door behind him.

From that day on, Janus started avoiding mirrors.

It was already too late though. The others used every opportunity they got to remind him how awful his scales were, how unlovable they made him, and how it was hard to even look at him most days.

After a little while, he started avoiding them too. But that didn't help much either. He couldn't get their voices out of his head.

Eventually, he'd simply accepted it. He got rid of all of the mirrors in his room and avoided going out into the mindscape as much as possible. He began wearing gloves so he wouldn't have to look at the scales on his hands. And he learned to accept that none of the light sides would ever love him.

He had expected them to be a little less blunt about their hatred though.

Logan was the first one he noticed it with. Every now and then he would catch the other side looking at him, more specifically his scales, a little too closely. Logan never said anything about it though, and neither did Janus. The others had already made it clear how hideous the snake half of him was, and he didn't need to hear from anyone else.

After a little while though, he started to notice Roman and Patton doing the same thing. They were far more subtle about it than the logical side had been and they at least had the grace to look away and make an excuse when they were caught.

Janus couldn't deny that it still stung, but at least they were kind enough not to say anything to his face. It was far better than anything he'd expected and anything that he was used to. So he could handle it. Even if hurt so much more coming from people he actually cared about. He was strong enough to take it.

Until he wasn't.

He'd already been having a bad day. Thomas had desperately wanted to get out of plans with some of his family and Janus had had to construct some rather intricate lies to convince them to leave him alone. Add the amount of effort it had taken to get Thomas to move past his guilt and agree to lying in the first place, and Janus' patience was running thin.

When he was finally done, he made his way to the living room of the mind palace where the others were gathered, rewatching The Office (despite Logan's protestations). He collapsed onto the sofa with a groan and Roman raised an eyebrow at him. "That bad, huh?"

Janus groaned again in response.

The others went back to the show and after a few minutes Janus sat up, looking around at them.

Patton and Roman seemed genuinely fixed on the show, laughing and joking with each other as they watched. Logan, however, was paying far less attention. He was still watching the show, and he'd chime in with the occasional comment, but every now and then, he'd dart a glance over at Janus. They usually lasted a few seconds and Janus couldn't help but notice the way Logan's eyes slowly passed over his scales each time.

On any other day, Janus would have done his best to ignore it or perhaps made an excuse to go to his room. But today was different. Today, he was already at the end of his rope.

So the fourth time he sensed Logan looking at him, he turned to meet his gaze with a sharp glare. "If you want me to leave that fucking badly, it certainly wouldn't be easier for you to just say that." His voice came out sharper than he'd intended but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Logan frowned at him, looking more confused than genuinely hurt. "I certainly do not want you to leave and I'm not certain what gave you the impression I do."

"Oh fuck off." Janus snapped. He could feel Patton and Roman staring at him too by this point and he ignored them. "I'm not stupid, Logan! I can't see the way you all constantly stare at me! I know my scales are hideous, I know it's hard to look at me, I know you all hate me. I know I'm disgusting."

Patton opened his mouth to say something at this point, but Janus pushed on.

"So if you'd rather not have to see me, fine, just tell me to leave! I don't care. But at least have the decency to say it to my damn face!"

Janus was yelling at this point and he was ashamed to realize there were tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, refusing to look at any of the others.

The television was still playing in the background, but it sounded muffled and far away. Janus stared at a spot on the carpet with startling intensity, while the other three looked at him silently.

It was Roman who finally broke the silence. "What are you talking about?" He sounded genuinely confused. "I- none of us find you hideous or want you to leave. Why would we?"

Janus almost laughed at that. "Don't lie to me."

"We're not." It was Logan who spoke this time, shifting so he was directly in front of Janus. "I'm not certain what we did to make you believe this, but none of us hate you or find you repulsive. I cannot speak for the others, but personally, I was only watching your scales out of fascination. I find them quite aesthetically pleasing to look at, but I was worried that vocalizing this might make you uncomfortable."

Janus felt at a loss for words. Logan was lying. He must have been. And yet…. Janus couldn't sense any kind of lie in what he'd said. And the way Logan was looking at him was far too genuine to be anything but honest.

Before he could even start to recover from everything Logan had just said, Roman joined in, nodding.

"Calculator watch is right. Your scales are stunning. The way they glimmer in the light. The way their color seems to change everytime you look at them. Their lovely greenish gold hue, the way they blend so seamlessly into your face…."

Roman had gotten up and slowly started moving closer as he spoke. Now, he knelt in front of Janus and looked up at him earnestly. "They're beautiful. You're beautiful."

And that was finally too much. Janus felt tears spring up in his eyes again and this time there was nothing he could do to stop them. He let out a sob and slid forward, off the sofa and into Roman and Logans' waiting arms. A moment later Patton had joined them as well. He sat on Janus's other side, one hand slowly rubbing his back as he cried.

"It's okay, kiddo, it's okay. We're all here for you, okay?"

Janus couldn't bring himself to respond, simply sobbing harder. He felt the others shift closer to him in response and he let himself relax against them.

"It's okay," Patton murmured again, his voice soft. "We love you."

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Janus actually believed that.

[crybabykiko]

I'm not sure if u take requests but if u do could u write a NSFW alphabet for Issei?¿ ♡

So lemme tell you something- I got this req and the first thing that came out of my mouth was BIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHHHH

And I proceeded to scream cry and yell about this for idk how long. I put so much thought into this- I literally wrote it in almost one night completely. I have SO much to say about this man. My Issei brainrot is only fueled by my stupid horny Pisces brain- WHICH HE ALSO HAS god bless him. Anyway enough about me this turned my mind into soup and it all fell out of my ears enjoy ur fucking horse cock

NSFW Alphabet- Matsukawa Issei

No thoughts head he. 😌

gn!reader focused, obviously nsfw....

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Best Service Dom. Best Dom EVER. Anything you want you get, you have to only say the words. Food? Already ordered so it would be there by the time you finished. Cuddles? His arms are wide open and his body is very warm. Sit in a bubble bath and scroll through your favorite online stores? The bath is nice and warm and his credit card is at your disposal. He takes amazing care of you, and will stop at nothing to make you feel secure/safe/happy at all times..

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

Welll…. I… we all know what it is. I’ll explain more later but in addition to that he also has the most amazing arms/abs. He’s very lean, definitely naturally so. Doesn’t need to work out but does so anyway keep toned.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Likes to cum inside you, but simply so that he can watch it ooze out of your hole. Sometimes he’ll even keep fucking you after he’s finished to see himself push it back in even after it’s out.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

I hate adding this but he has a foot fetish. Not like a hardcore creepy kind of foot fetish- he just likes to suck a toe here and there. But only if they’re freshly pedicured… he’s very picky. He’ll give foot massages all the time tho if you ask him. He just never tells anyone about it because he knows his friends will clown him.

Not ur foot but close enough he would get you one of those little golden name anklets and kiss it every time he lifts your leg over his shoulder. 👀🦋

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

Absolutely. He’s done a lot in his life, and is not short on any stories of past encounters. He is kind of a sex encyclopedia, but he’s very casual about it. If you bri bc up something you wanna try, 11/10 times he’s going to not only have done it, but be able to suggest ways for you to make it better- with several anecdotes.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Doesn’t just like doggy- it is his lifeblood. It’s easier for him to control your movements while also making sure that he can bury himself all the way inside. He can have a vice grip on your hips one moment, his fists full of your hair the next- and if he starts spanking you well… that’s between you two and god.

He does like plain old missionary too, but only bc he can see himself in your tummy.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

It makes him laugh sometimes when you struggle to take him all at once. He thinks it cute that you try, but it’s hilarious how big your head gets sometimes. He has to fuck you dumb and remind you that you can’t do that.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

Trims, but not super short. He does wax his happy trail tho bc it makes him self-conscious.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

Can actually be very romantic if he wants to. He is a Pisces, after all. He does enjoy foreplay and the sensuality of that to get you prepped, and he takes extra care to make sure you’re fully ready. He is going to be hard on you, but understands that he has to take good care of you, and he does

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

Daily. At least once. It keeps the stress away and livens his mood. He does it as soon as he wakes up, and then if he’s having a really hard day or difficulty sleeping, he can do it to ease his nerves.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Size, obvious because everyone is smaller than him Skdkfkf he’s a giant. He’s 6’2 and his cock is at least 3 feet of that.

Daddy Kink, self explanatory mostly. It’s just so fucking sweet on his ears, his baby cooing for their daddy, trying so hard to work his entire cock into their tiny hole, trying to be so good for him… he loses it every time.

Voyeurism, likes watching you touch yourself. He finds it amusing how you think you can get yourself there without his help. You both know that’s impossible, but it turns him on to see you try.

Praise, again- he loves to make you feel special. And you work so hard fitting all of him inside, he has to tell you how good of a job you’re doing, especially because he’s appreciative of you letting him impale you. He has to let you know.

Mutual Masturbation, Kinda goes with voyeurism. If you’re away from each other, you’re definitely going to have sex via FaceTime- he just wants to see you, and also wants you to see him. To him, it lets you know you’re the only one that can get him there, and that your presence alone- even if he’s not touching you, is more than enough.

Lingerie, Loves nothing more than seeing you all pretty for him. He also just really likes the feeling of lace or silk against his fingertips He can get out of control and rip your sets tho- but don’t worry, death is a very lucrative business- He will buy you several replacements.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

LOVES car sex. If the mood strikes, he WILL pull over. But really, he’ll take it wherever he can get it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He’s very eager to please. A little lazy, yes, but at his core he wants to make sure you’re feeling good.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He has done literally everything at least once and the one thing he just can’t get into is piss. One bad experience and a 3 month uti later he’s sworn off it for good.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Not his favorite. He could honestly go with or without it personally, just because there’s so much of him. But he will happily fuck your throat if you want him to, and will go down on you for hours to make sure you’re truly prepped. For someone who’s not a big fan of it, he’s actually AMAZING with his mouth. It’s lazy but in the best way possible.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Starts off slow so you’re good to go, but will pick up the pace as you stretch out. He does enjoy a few slow deep thrusts in between drilling you into oblivion tho. He never tries to make your guts into a smoothie on purpose, it just kinda happens that way.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He will never say no to quickie. The amount of fast food bathrooms and abandoned parking lots you’ve seen is astronomical. The amount of times Makki has kicked you out of his apartment for trying something while he goes to the bathroom is even higher.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

He's the classic degen. bf who reaches across the table at the same time as your dad when you go “daddy can you pass the salt?”

So yes, he’s definitely going to tease you under a table at thanksgiving dinner.

He’s really going to have you whenever he wants- even if it comes at the expense of your pride/morals sometimes.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can go on forever if you let him. Will overstim you to hell and back before he even thinks about cumming. Doesn’t even know he’s doing it- he’s so used to fucking you brainless that he doesn’t realize it’s too much. But he is SUPER apologetic about it and will make sure to treat you extra carefully.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually has a few for when he’s feeling lazy. He used to run through fleshlights like they were tictacs but he’s since finally found one that he won’t break.

He got most of them for free because he worked in a sex shop during college- he was very popular.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Yes. He will 100% rile you up with touches that seem innocent enough in nature, but are a tad bit too low, or linger on for a bit too long.

Will also give you “the look” in public and pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about- he definitely does.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Vocal in bed, especially with praise. Will constantly tell you how good you’re doing or how good you feel. Doesn’t moan a lot, but they slip out from time to time. Instead it’s a lot of deep breaths, groans, and curses.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

If mortuary school hadn’t have worked out, he and Makki were going to start their own porn company. They actually have a very solid business plan. They made a pact to sit on it for now, since Issei is working at the funeral home.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

LMFAOOOOO

Literally a foot long. Longer actually. I’m going to honestly say 13. No I won’t take it back. Perfect thickness too. Honestly it’s like… god really took his time and got it fucking right. Everything about his physique is perfect- it would only make sense his cock is that perfect to match. Color is even all around, the head is bubblegum pink. There’s also one very prominent vein on the underside, and a few tinier trails of veins on the top. The statue of David? Don’t know her. Only know the statue of Issei.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

High sex drive, but he can keep it subdued if he has to. Especially because he knows he’s too much for most people. He's not shy about it though. Is CONSTANTLY horny on main. Not that you mind.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

Service Dom through and through. He won’t sleep until you do, and even if he’s dead tired, he won’t sleep at all if you’re staying awake. He’s going to do everything to take care of you and your needs first. When you do sleep he likes to hold your head to his chest and will press his nose down into your hair so he can fall asleep surrounded by your scent.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @ukaic @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith

[a-froger-epic]

You said Freddie "was in love with an idea of Mary". I don't understand this and some other people's opinion on this. They were in a relationship. They broke up, because Freddie was gay and couldn't have romantic relationship with her. They stayed friends, which isn't unsual (see Joe). He couldn't love her as a friend? Only "the idea of her"? She didn't deserve to be loved? Why is it wrong to ask Phoebe about her? Why the fandom tries to forget she ever existed? She's known Freddie for 22 years.

Alright, I will elaborate then since I think you've misunderstood what I said there, and that is fair enough because I didn't explain.

I'm really not keen on getting into any discussions about Mary, to be honest, which is why I said none of this is a hill I'd like to die on. I'm not interested in defending how Mary acted after his death, there's a lot of valid criticism and it's true that their relationship is and was often misrepresented in a way that is disrespectful to Jim and the very fact that Freddie was a self-identified gay man. So I understand the frustration with that. But anyway, here are my thoughts on Mary and Freddie and their actual relationship with each other.

Let's start at the beginning. Although none of us can really know what their relationship was like, I personally think it's clear that they clicked very well in the beginning, on some level.

Let me just pre-empt this again by saying that pretty much all of this is speculation and my personal opinion, I'm not trying to tell anyone they're wrong. This is just my take. Don't come for me. Let me have my opinion, please and thank you.

I think they fit well in the way that, knowing Mary's background (deaf parents, started working full-time at 15), she was very used to being in a caretaker role and Freddie liked, in many ways, to be taken care of. I think she was also somebody who was not very outspoken with her emotions, not very emotional overall, and I think that actually perhaps suited Freddie quite well. Because I think that her keeping her feelings close to her chest gave him the excuse to do the exact same. Why do I think so?

Having read Rosemary's book, it's apparent that she is a very emotional person and what ended up happening, is that Freddie opened up to her in ways he never did with Mary. He never, until their break up, let on to Mary that he wanted to be with men. Freddie and Rosemary, by contrast, were only together for a year or so and he could not stop talking about it. Rosemary was open, so Freddie was open. I think Freddie was a bit of a chameleon when it came to relationships, which stemmed from his deep desire to be loved and accepted. He wanted to please, he wanted to be a good fit for his partners. I think that was sometimes detrimental for him because he would push himself to be somebody he wasn't. I think incidentally with Mary it sort of worked out quite well for quite a long time. I think that while they did have feelings for each other, there was also a lot of unspoken things, an emotional distance, and I think that made it easier for Freddie to be in the closet as long as he was. Again, having to grow up so fast, I think Mary was someone who learned to swallow things down and not address them and just function. In a way, Freddie had a very similar approach.

Now, let's talk about love and what I meant by him being in love with the idea of her. I believe that Freddie definitely believed and felt that he was in love with her for much of the time they were together, in part because I think he really, really wanted to be. Here was this girl who was in many ways perfect for him, the kind of girl his parents were thrilled about. Also, quite importantly, somebody who believed in him and did support him. I remember seeing one interview with her where she says her first impression was that he was this charismatic, long-haired musician and seemed so confident. Not at all like the person underneath, I think she goes on to say. But it did give me the impression that being as young as she was at the time, there was definitely a sort of wide-eyed admiration of his huge personality there from her side. And I think that stroked his ego a lot. I'm sure that later on in their relationship, she did become somewhat disenchanted with him and most likely even frustrated with him much of the time, but again, being someone who keeps themselves to themselves, I think she put on a brave face and funnily enough he did the exact same thing.

It think that towards the end of their relationship, they functioned as partners, rather than a romantic couple. I think Freddie clung on for a very long time - if not forever - to some ideal of what his life should/could/might have been if only he hadn't been gay (internalised homophobia galore), and that is also what I mean by being in love with the idea of Mary. The idea of the beautiful fantasy relationship with a woman he was never able to live up to, and I think a lot of guilt stemmed from that, for him. That he should have been able to give her that, but he couldn't. That he had failed her. That, therefore, he had to provide for her as long as he lived. Because if he hadn't been gay, he could have married her and everything would have been brilliant - which, you can't tell me, that his parents did not likely think exactly that. I will eat a hat if his mother did not once bemoan that he hadn't or wouldn't marry her. Again, I repeat, this is some deeply ingrained internalised homophobia I'm talking about, I'd be hesitant to say that Freddie was even aware of it.

Now, here's the thing. Freddie was someone who could not be alone, we know this, and he was someone who could not let go of people easily. He stayed friends, if he could, with many of his exes. And I think he was terrified of the thought of losing Mary - who he was used to, who he relied on, who he felt deeply guilty towards because he wasn't the man she deserved - when their relationship ended. Basically, he wanted the to have the cake and eat it, too. And he got that, in a way. He did get to keep her in his life, she agreed to that, and I don't think that was at all times particularly healthy for either of them.

I think Mary resented that Freddie was gay. Again, I don't even think it was a very conscious thing, but I think she absolutely believed that if only he hadn't been gay, they would have been perfect for each other. I don't think she ever stopped feeling like he was the one that got away. I think this led to her deeply resenting a lot of his circle and his lifestyle, resenting having to be involved in it, which I think is a large part of why she burned all bridges when he died. I think she felt free from an obligation that she herself had put on herself. I think the woman could have done with some therapy, tbh, I think they all could have. Anyway.

When I read what Phoebe said in that interview, what jumped out at me was that this was an important dinner with Freddie's parents. I think Freddie took solace in the idea that he could bring Mary out to dinner with them and it was almost as if it was real. That they had the son they wanted, in the way that he knew they didn't. I'm tearing up writing this right now because it's really heartbreaking to me.

But that is what I meant by the idea of her. I think, also, Freddie was generally very romantic. I think he was a bit in love with love, overall. And I think he held that fantasy somewhere in his mind forever, of what could have been, if only. And I think Mary did the same.

Of course it isn't romantic. It's terrible, it's sad, there's so many things wrong with it. But that's what I think their relationship with each other was. I think it always carried an echo of his perceived failure to have been the man she thought he could have been, he thought he could have been, if only he hadn't been gay.

Tl; dr - I'm not interested in erasing Mary from Freddie's life, any more than I'm interested in erasing anyone else who was important to him from his life. I do think he had a lot of love for her, and she for him. I don't think acknowledging that takes away from his love for his husband or makes him any less gay.

[mrsalwayswrite]

To Call Forth Love - Chapter 9

Yay! Next chapter! True confessions, this *sorta* slow burn is killing me....and i’m the one writing it! (sorry not sorry?)

Warnings: some swearing, nothing really, Hvitserk being a good bro?

Words:7100 (I hope these longer chapters make up for the wait)

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius @evelynshelby @pomegranates-and-blood @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @punkrocknpearls @love-all-things-writing @southernbe​

Series Masterlist

The ringing of her phone had Kari dropping the leggings she was folding on her bed to quickly snatch it up. 

 "Albus!"

 The voice on the other end sighed. "You know I hate that nickname."

 Kari laughed, picking the leggings back up to fold. "But it fits you so perfectly."

 "I am not an old wizard."

 "I'll give you that, but you're studious, kind and too wise for someone your age. So close enough."

 "I suppose if I haven't been able to convince you to drop that nickname for the past ten years, I won't be able to now."

 "Nope." She cheerfully said. "So, how are you? Your mother still wreaking havoc in your life?"

 "She set me up on a date last week." He grumbled after a moment's hesitation. 

 In her mind, she could imagine him sitting at his desk with a slight furrow between his brows and lips pursed as he lamented his mother's involvement in his love life. This would not be the first time he complained to Kari about this topic. "Ohhhh? How did that go?" She asked, even if by his tone she could already guess his answer. 

 "I know my mother means well, but the women she thinks I should date…." He trailed off with a forlorn sigh. 

 "Not your type?"

 "No."

 "I'm sorry. You'll find someone and your mother won't be able to help but love them."

 He snorted inelegantly. "I won't hold my breath for that."

 "See, you're so wise." She teased, smiling as she folded a work shirt. "Now, what else is new since last month?"

 The two spent the next hour talking. It had become their tradition after she moved. Hearing the gentle cadence in his voice, his quiet chuckles, it sent a wave of nostalgia washing over her. He was the only person from England she still kept in communication with, the only one who knew where she was. The last string tying her to her prior life. Although she would not have labeled him her best friend, they were certainly close and even more so after she moved. In their monthly conversations, they would chat about anything new in their lives, TV shows watched, books read, his latest exams in university. He always made sure to inform her what he knew about her family. Something she was grateful for but it always felt like a knife to the heart after. 

 As they talked, she finished folding her laundry, a necessary evil in her opinion. Once done with that, she moved on to the package she received in the mail today. It was addressed to her but the sender was a designer name she would never be able to afford in her lifetime. She shook her head, wondering what surprise the youngest Lothbrok had bought for her. 

 Listening to him regale her with the latest family drama of his, she opened the package and had to muffle a gasp at the two dresses that lay inside. The first was an off-the-shoulder, black skater dress that would reach mid-thigh in length. It was a classy and elegant cocktail dress that reminded her of the dress she wore on her and Ivar's "date" but way more sophisticated and stylish. It was the second dress that made her pause and wonder where Ivar thought she would ever wear something like this. It was a deep red evening gown, the hem long enough to trail slightly on the ground. The dress was gorgeous with a tight bodice and slight flair of the skirt. It was the slit in the skirt that touched her upper thigh and the sheer middle of the bodice that made Kari raise her eyebrows. The gown was the perfect blend of chic and sexy. What was Ivar thinking? She would feel so self-conscious and she never went anywhere fancy enough to wear it. Though as she stared at both dresses, she decided it never hurt to admire them on the hanger, even if she never got the chance to wear them. As her friend continued speaking, she hung both dresses up in her closet, making a mental note to talk to Ivar. 

 "It's probably good your brother moved out last year." She commented, tucking her laundry basket away in her closet. 

 "Yeah. He only comes over to the house if he has to." He said with a resigned sigh. After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. His voice hesitant, almost remorseful, as what had been obviously on the tip of his tongue finally came forth. "Your mother has been talking about trying to find you again."

 Kari froze, her mind shorting out and heart rate skyrocketing as his statement sunk in. "What…. what did she say?"

 "Not much that I overheard." He confessed, sympathy in each word. "How much she misses her only daughter and feels abandoned by you. She has been telling people that you're doing charity work in another country when they ask about you."

 "It's been almost two years… I hoped…" She slumped onto her bed, legs wobbling and mind whirling. 

 "That your mother would forget about you?"

 "I don't know. I just…. I don't know."

 Silence reigned for a moment before he spoke again. 

 "Are you ever coming home?"

 "I…. I don't think that's home anymore."

 "I miss you." He whispered. 

 Tears welled in her eyes. She took a deep breath forcing them back, but knew her shaky voice betrayed her. "I miss you too. Maybe you can come visit me here?"

 "That would blow your cover."

 "Could we meet up somewhere? You take a vacation or something?"

 "I'll consider it…." His voice trailed off, only to come back stronger. "You know, when you wanted help to leave England, I thought it was just a temporary reprieve. I didn't imagine you would stay away."

 It felt like a knife twisted in her gut, because he was right. She had never thought she would be gone this long. "I know…. I just…. I like my life here. I don't…. I don't want to go back to that."

 He sighed as if giving up on convincing her to return. "I understand. I'll always be here for you. I still think of you as one of my closest friends."

 "Same. We've known each other since we were thirteen. A few countries between us isn't going to stop that."

 He chuckled. "Right. Well, I'll still hold you to your promise. If we're both unmarried by thirty-five, we'll have a courthouse wedding to keep our families off our backs."

 "Sounds good." She laughed out, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

 "I have to go. I'll text you about when we can catch up next month."

 "Perfect. Stay safe, Albus."

 "You too, Abs."

 "Ugh! That nickname is worse than yours!" She groaned, hearing a small chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Bye!"

 After hanging up, she stared at her phone for a minute, the smile fading as her mind revisited the conversation. The weight of everything slammed into her, her body no longer able to support her under the strength of her duress. She crumpled onto her bed, curling into a fetal position, tears streaming down her cheeks. It hurt that England no longer felt like home to her, but neither did where she currently lived. What hurt and confused her most, was when she thought of being home- Ivar's face filled her mind's eye. 

 *****

 "Thank you everyone for coming to class today. I'll see you either tomorrow or next week." 

 With the lights still dim, Kari turned off the soothing water music over the speakers in the yoga studio room. The women who had been laying in corpse pose on their mats began to rise and gather up their personal items. A quiet murmur of voices replaced the music in the enclosed room. She waved at a few of the regulars as they left her class. Even if she was not the one doing all the poses, by the end of class she still felt refreshed and rejuvenated. It always brought her joy to see people come in, stressed or anxious, and leave her class with a smile on their faces or just looking less tense. 

 Through the mirrors along the wall at the front of the room, she could see the tall, statuesque blonde making her way over, yoga mat tucked under her arm. 

 "Hey, you doing anything for lunch?" Gyda asked, coming up beside her. Even in leggings and a tight tank top, she looked like someone off the covers of a women's magazine. All Kari could figure was it was in the Lothbrok blood. 

 "Um, working on inventory?"

 "How about instead you come out to lunch with us?" She motioned vaguely towards Torvi, who was gathering up her yoga mat. "We planned on stopping at that new boutique down the strip. So, we can just meet you for lunch when you're done."

 "Really?" The brunette was startled by the offer. Sure, she had gone out with Gyda a few times but never with Torvi too. The three would chat occasionally before or after class and she liked Torvi's no-nonsense attitude. They had flippantly made comments about the three of them going out but to actually hear they wanted her presence both surprised and warmed her heart. "Torvi is okay with this too?"

 Gyda rolled her eyes. "Yes. So…. Yes? No? Don't leave me in suspense."

 "Yeah, I'd love to."

 "Great. Text me when you're done and we'll meet up."

 "It'll be at least half an hour…." 

 Gyda waved her off, her voice growing louder. "That's fine. Torvi takes forever when she browses anyway."

 "Sorry, I like to think through my purchases before I buy something!"

 Kari smiled at Torvi's retort. The other blonde was checking her phone, a smile on her face though as she peered up at her sister-in-law and her yoga instructor. 

 "Are you joining us?" She called over. 

 "Of course, she is!" Gyda replied, before Kari could respond. "But she's only coming if you swear not to share any stories about you and Bjorn's kinky sex life. Nobody wants to hear that."

 Without a word, Torvi gave her the middle finger salute, before looking back down at her phone. 

 Gyda chuckled then turned to raise an eyebrow at the shorter woman. "Unless you're into that kind of stuff…."

 "Oh gods, Gyda! No!" Her face flushed at the thought. 

 "Hey, it's the quiet ones who are the kinkiest. I bet Ivar would like that." She laughed as Kari tried to swat at her. Taking a step back, she pretended to zip her lips. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Text me when you're done! We can meet at the café down the street. " 

 Kari waved at Torvi as the two blondes walked out of the studio room. Quickly, she hurried to finish tidying up. It had been a long time since she felt this excited to go out to eat with some female friends. A handful of times she had gone out with some coworkers or Lydia. In the beginning she was excited when Alana would invite her out with her friends to a club or bar but Kari quickly learned that was not her scene and began making every excuse possible to not be forced out with them. She always felt like an afterthought amongst the group, especially since getting drunk nor sleeping around was not her style. This time, she had high hopes for spending time with Gyda and Torvi. It would be nice to have female friends again. 

 The door to the studio room opened and Lydia popped her head in. "Almost done? You've got a visitor out here and he's causing quite the distraction." She said with a distinct shit-eating grin and wink before ducking back out. 

 "He?" Kari questioned out loud, although her mind suspected who it was. He was the only one who ever visited her. Slipping her phone into the pocket of her maroon leggings, she gave the room one final survey, wanting it to be ready for the next class before she left. With a nod, she headed out, the door swinging shut behind her. 

 In the large open area, she understood what Lydia meant by 'causing quite the distraction'. If she paused for a moment to drink the sight in, no one could possibly know, right? 

 Ivar leaned his shoulder against a wall, arms crossed over his chest with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to display his toned forearms. His dark locks were pulled back loosely in a man-bun, a few tendrils slipped free. Even in jeans, braces and smart-looking leather shoes, he looked quite handsome. With no cane in sight, it must be a good day. 

 Kari noticed more than one pair of eyes lingering on him from around the studio although he did not seem to notice as he stood there talking with Gyda and Torvi in hushed tones. The latter said something that immediately caused Ivar to narrow his eyes at her as he snapped a comment. 

 Even from across the room, Kari could read the tension in his frame and decided to intervene before he caused a scene. Walking over to them, aware of the many sets of eyes upon the group of three, she fixed a smile on her face. Once those intense, blue eyes locked onto her and his posture softened marginally, her smile transitioned into a genuine grin. "Hey, Ivar, what are you doing here?" She asked, coming to stand between him and Gyda. 

 "Do I need a reason to come see you?" He smirked down at her.

 That look released butterflies in her stomach but she ignored them to tease him back. "Usually that's how it works."

 "And if that reason is to fulfill my quota?"

 The blush that rose to her cheeks was so hot, she wondered if you could fry an egg on her face. Immediately, she dropped her chin to her chest, willing the warmth to vanish. 

 "Hmmm…. that blush for me, kattungen?" He shifted closer so his mouth was near her ear, his question asked in such a lecherous tone, Kari felt her core clench. 

 "Shut up." She mumbled, pushing him away. He rocked back on his heels, a smug grin on his face, and an amused chuckle leaving his lips. 

 Gyda patted Kari's shoulder, drawing the brunette's attention upward again. "Text me when you're done. We'll leave you with this grumpy asshole. I'm sure you can think of a way to cheer him up." She winked as she took a step away. 

 For a moment, Kari wished the ground would open up beneath her. Between Gyda's teasing comments and Ivar's blatant remarks and heated looks, Kari's face was going to be permanently red in an endless flush. 

 "Good luck on your trip, Ivar." Torvi called over her shoulder as she followed Gyda. 

 "Oi! Tell Bjorn to keep his big fucking mouth shut!" He yelled after the blondes; the tension returned with Torvi's parting statement. Glaring at the door the two women passed through, he muttered something in a foreign language as he rubbed his hand over his mouth. Briefly, his thoughts seemed to take him elsewhere but he quickly snapped back, blue eyes finding Kari once again. 

 It was only something she had realized lately, but when he looked at her, that consuming and burning gaze landing on her with all the impact of a sledgehammer, it made her feel like the only woman in the room. It was such a cliché thing, something stupid out of a romance novel, but it was the only way she could describe the feeling. When he looked at her like this, nothing else mattered in the room. She had his whole attention, all his focus. It was heady and powerful and terrifying and astounding. The weight of others watching made her skin itch but with his gaze locked on hers, lips tilted up slightly in the hint of a fond smile, she felt in the eye of a hurricane. 

 Her blue-green eyes dropped to his chest, unable to maintain eye contact when it left her feeling so flustered. Tugging on her earlobe, she quietly asked. "What are you doing here? I thought I wasn't seeing you until you picked me up for dinner tonight?"

 "Something came up." Silently, he reached over and grasped her hand, causing her head to jerk up. Intertwining their fingers, he watched her with regret in his eyes. "I have to fly out to Italy in two hours."

 "Oh. Is everything okay?" That was not what she had expected to hear. Her heart plummeted that their dinner would have to be canceled but tried not to let it show. 

 "Is there somewhere we can talk in private?"

 "Um, sure." Emotions flickering between curiosity and concern, she guided him back to the studio room. The weight of eyes lingered as they walked, especially since he refused to release her hand. A brief glance at the front counter, only to see Lydia and Sasha both staring at her with amused and proud smiles, had Kari trying to hurry out of sight with Ivar in tow. 

 Soon as the door shut behind them, hiding them from view, he pulled her against his body, one arm wrapping around her waist, trapping her against him while the other hand gripped the back of her neck. He kissed her passionately, like a man dying of thirst and only she could save him. 

 "Ivar…." She tried to pull away, aware she was at work and anyone could walk in. Instead, he held her tighter, molding her body to his. The drugging kiss that followed had her all but melting against him, knees weak and her resolve disappearing like smoke in the wind. When she opened her mouth, inviting his tongue to dance with hers, the growl that erupted from him was so thready and rough, it called to a primal part of her, making her warm all over and a tightness grow in her belly. 

 It had been two days since they had seen each other and she genuinely missed him. They had been texting during that time, but it was not the same. She missed his presence, his touch, his kisses, his grumpy comments and the way he made her laugh. Even when he annoyed or frustrated her, he still was the color in her otherwise monochromatic world. And with each day that passed, her desire to push him away fractured a little bit more. 

 When their mouths finally unlocked, both panting and lips swollen and red, she was almost shocked the nearby mirrors were not fogged up. Breathless and overwhelmed, she pressed her forehead to his, her arms around his neck. For a minute they stood there peacefully, only the sounds of their ragged breathing and the occasional noise from those outside of the studio room broke through their tranquility. 

 "What's going on, Ivar?"

 "Something with work." 

 "Does this have to do with why you've been so busy?"

 He sighed but when he spoke in a hushed tone, the rage painting each word was undeniable. "Someone on the inside has been selling information about us." She gasped, shocked but when she tried to pull away to look at him, he tugged her back against him, placing his chin on the top of her head. "I think I know who the fucker is."

 "That's why you're going to Italy?"

 "Hmmm."

 "Will you be safe?"

 That made him chuckle, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Are you worried about me?"

 She thought about making a joke, about teasing him about his recklessness. Instead the question knocked the air from her lungs momentarily, because the truth was, she was. What little she had gleaned about his work when he needed to vent, there was still an element of danger to it. She tipped her face up to look at him, her answer a quiet murmur that did nothing to hide the emotion behind her words. "Yes…. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."

 The amusement in his eyes drained to be replaced with a softness that made her heart clench. He inhaled sharply and glanced away for a moment. "Fuck, kitten…." When he turned back, he kissed her tenderly, a slow melding of their mouths like the taste of her was a fine wine he wanted to sip on endlessly. There was a promise in his action, just as much as his words when he finally whispered against her lips. "I'll be safe, just meeting with a contact. That's all."

 "Okay, just please be careful." Worry still tainted her, but she trusted Ivar to keep himself safe. He had been doing this job far longer than she had known him. 

 "Don't tell anyone about what I've said. No one else knows."

 "I promise. Not a word."

 "Good girl." He swatted her ass, making her squeak and glare up at him. "I'm going to have Hvitserk check up on you later."

 "That's not necessary." She tried to say. She would hate to be a waste of time for the older Lothbrok. The look he gave her said to not argue with him. "Fine," she dramatically sighed, "maybe him and I will watch movies and cuddle since you're soooo busy. I wonder if he'd think my bed is comfy enough or if the couch is better?"

 "Don't you fucking dare." He growled, gripping her waist in a possessive hold. 

 She just laughed at how easy he was to wind up. It was mean and she knew it. 

 He nipped at her bottom lip. "Keep playing, Kari and I'll have to punish you."

 "I have no idea what you're talking about." She batted her lashes at him, failing to suppress a childish giggle. 

 He rolled his eyes, the twitch of his lips betrayed his amusement. "I need to go." He softly said though he made no move to release her from his arms. 

 With that a wave of worry and fear cascaded over her, it was unfounded she knew, but it still threatened to drag her into its depths. Not giving it a second thought, she raised up on her toes to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. 

 "You're not helping." He muttered, never removing his mouth from hers. 

 "Maybe take the next flight?"

 "Don't tempt me, vixen. I'll lock that door and have my wicked way with you right fucking here until everyone hears you screaming my name."

 Between the image he painted in her mind and his mouth having moved to her pulse point, heated arousal pooled between her legs. She gulped, her mouth suddenly dry and words sticking to her throat.

 He leaned back, a devious smirk on his lips at her obviously flushed face. "No, my priestess," he purred, a filthy, predatory glint in his blue eyes, she could not help but gasp as her knees threatened to buckle under her. "When I finally have you, it'll be somewhere I can both worship you and fuck you all night long without fear of being interrupted."

 She let out a shaky breath. "But, um…. we…. ah."

 "Soon, Vakker, blir du min." He kissed her roughly, as if sealing his words. "I do need to leave. Walk with me." He took her hand, leading her out of the studio room, giving her no choice but to walk beside him. Not that her brain was fully able to make coherent decisions at the moment. 

 As they walked towards the front of the building, she wondered if their make-out session was obvious. Her lips felt red and swollen and a blush still colored her cheeks. A glance at Ivar showed his lips fuller but he appeared so calm and collected it was unfair. 

 "Did you like the dresses?" He asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

 "I do. They both are gorgeous, but they're too much. I don't have a reason to dress up that fancy."

 "With me, you will. I'll get you some casual dresses too."

 "Ivar…." She whined. 

 "You need more clothes, Kari."

 "Fine. Not because I want more clothes but because I know you'll buy them for me anyway."

 He winked at her, his tone smug. "I always get my way."

 "You're unbelievable."

 They stopped beside his SUV, parked next to the sidewalk. His driver was already in the driver's seat waiting. Kari made sure to wave at the man, earning a nod back from him. The driver was a huge guy with long, thick locks of white hair and a scar on his face. He intimidated Kari but she tried to ignore that and be friendly. Even if Ivar made fun of her for it. 

 "I should be back tomorrow unless some shit comes up." Ivar stated, opening the back door. 

 "Okay. Be safe."

 "Stop worrying. Shit. I'll be fine." He remarked, sliding into his seat. Before he closed the door, he met her gaze. "I'll text you."

 She smiled in acknowledgment and stepped back, giving him a quick wave as she headed back inside and his SUV started off.  

 Lydia leaned against the front counter with Sasha and Alicia now, all three watching her with expressions ranging from amused to shocked. 

 "Um, I'm going to…. go on my lunch break now." She mumbled and hurried away to grab her purse from the office, the sounds of laughter following her. 

 The stray thought crossed her mind that she would need some new bras if Ivar was set on buying her new clothes. Not that he would see those bras, but it would be good to have…. and maybe some matching panties.

 *****

 Summer was transitioning to fall, cool undertones intermixed with the residual warmth of a September evening. 

 Kari stared at the book in her lap but the words blurred together no matter how many times she reread the same line. She loved reading outside, sitting on the small patio behind the townhouse, especially when none of the neighbors were out. She could pretend it was her own place of solace, being out in nature. The sunlight shined through the line of pine trees separating their row of townhouses from the ones behind them, bird songs mixed with the sound of traffic from the nearby roads. She much preferred this too being stuck indoors. 

 Today though, her mind drifted like the breeze, but it all centered on a conversation she had not even ten minutes ago. If she listened closely, she could hear Alana through the screen door, making her dinner in the kitchen. She knew it was not Alana's fault, but the conversation still felt like a rug had been yanked from underneath the brunette. With everything going so well in her life, of course fate had to throw her a curveball. 

 Now her mind scrambled as what to do next. 

 A sound from her left had her glance over to see Erik stepping out of his back door. A boyish grin lit up his face when he saw her. 

 "Hi, Kari. Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

 "Yeah. It is." She gave a half-hearted smile, watching as he closed the door behind him and stepped closer. 

 "Mind if I join you?"

 She waved a hand at the patio set. "Not at all." Hopefully talking with Erik would be the distraction she needed for the moment, to pull her out of her quagmire of thoughts. 

 Dropping onto the cushioned chair to her left, he ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. In jeans and a t-shirt, he appeared ready to relax for the evening. 

 "What are you reading this time?" He asked curiously. This would not be the first time he had found her outside reading. 

 She reclined on the two-person, cushioned couch, legs up and bent with her open book resting against her thighs, wearing her typical leggings and slouchy shirt. At his question, she flashed him the cover. "The Princess Bride."

 "Isn't that a movie?"

 She pretended to gasp in horror. "Yes, but the book is still a classic."

 He raised his hands in surrender, grin spreading across his face. “If you say. Not really my taste. So how was your day?"

 "Nothing exciting. Yours?"

 "The usual. Customers thinking they could do my job better than me."

 She winced. "I know the feeling."

 They made small talk for some time, talking about work and a documentary he recommended for her to watch. They argued which was the better coffee shop nearby, something they continuously disagreed on. Soon the upsetting conversation with Alana drifted to the back of her mind. It did not take long for her to close her book and set it on the ground so she could be fully invested in the conversation, especially when Erik became so animated about a topic, his hands waving around like a conductor in his enthusiasm. It was an endearing trait of his, but also alerted her to settle in because it meant he would not need much encouragement to keep talking. 

 The opening of the sliding door behind Kari stunted their conversation.

 "Kari, someone is here for you." Alana said sweetly, stepping out onto the patio. 

 Unsure what she meant and since Kari never had visitors except for Ivar, she finally turned around. Only to be met with the view of Hvitserk leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his lips. Standing there looking quite handsome in a dark navy business suit with a white undershirt, sans tie. Even his hair was nicely pleated back, making him look very professional and attractive. 

 "What are you doing here?" She asked in surprise, wondering if he just got off work. 

 Pushing off the doorframe, he meandered past Alana to approach Kari's side. "I came to check on you." He answered easily then scooped her up like she weighed nothing, making her squeal, and casually resettled them on the couch. Now he sat where she had been with her tucked against his side and his arm behind her. She also noticed how he purposefully put himself between her and Erik but chose not to comment on that. 

 "Ivar sent you, didn't he?" She grumbled, poking Hvitserk in the chest. "I told him it wasn't necessary."

 "Well, you know him." He shrugged, that teasing smirk still adorning his lips. When she tried to poke him again, he snatched her hand and held it hostage, even as she tried to tug it back. Ignoring her, he turned his attention to Erik. "Hey, man. I'm Hvitserk."

 "I'm Erik. I live next door." He responded warily, eyeing up the man as if debating to be friendly or not. 

 "Ah." With that understanding, Hvitserk seemed to give Erik a more assessing look before peering down at Kari. "You eat dinner yet?"

 "Sorta. I'm not too hungry."

 Alana spoke up from leaning against the other chair. "If you're hungry we can order something, Hvitserk. It's not a big deal."

 Kari's head whipped around to stare at her roommate in shock. Never had Alana played the hostess to Kari or anyone she knew. Then she really noticed the coquettish look of her roommate- the fluttering lashes, the sensual biting of her bottom lip in mock innocence, the way she casually leaned against the chair in a way to best highlight the curves of her body. Kari wanted to sigh. Of course, the only reason Alana pretended to care was to try and entice Hvitserk. An attractive man in their home, it was as if Alana could not help herself. 

 Apparently the flaxen-haired Lothbrok noticed her flirtatious manner also. He tipped his head, eyes blatantly tracing over her body with appreciation. Kari could see the blonde preening under Hvitserk's gaze. 

 "Did I fuck you?"

 What confident, amorous expression on Alana's face dropped in a second. "Excuse me?"

 Hvitserk waved a hand dismissively. "Sorry, you seem familiar but I can't remember…. Did you fuck one of my brothers?"

 Anger transformed her face, making her rigid and lip curled back in a snarl. "Fuck you, asshole." She shrieked, then stormed back inside, slamming the door shut. 

 He chuckled. "Huh. I take that as a yes…. ouch!"

 Kari slapped his chest. "That was extremely rude and insensitive."

 "Why? Because it's the truth?"

 "You can't just…. ask something like that." She turned to look at the closed door, wondering if she should go apologize to Alana and check on her. After a moment's debate, she turned away from the townhouse, figuring seeking out Alana would most likely end up with a door slammed in her face. 

 Hvitserk shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking it before slipping it back in.  

 His nonchalance baffled Kari. Did he not care that he just humiliated her roommate? Should she make him apologize? Though she doubted he would. Finally, she settled for just muttering, "you Lothbroks are unbelievable."

 "Oh, are you related to…." Erik's question trailed off. Where he once had been relaxed back in the cushioned chair, now he sat tensely, one of his hands tapping his knee repeatedly. 

 "Ivar? Yeah, he's my brother." Hvitserk said with a knowing smirk. 

 "He's, um…"

 "A crazy, mad bastard? Yeah. Don't recommend getting on his bad side."

 "I was going to say intense."

 Hvitserk threw his head back as he laughed. Even Kari smiled at the hesitant way Erik answered. Intense was an understatement for the youngest Lothbrok. "Yeah, he's family." 

 Erik then motioned between Kari and Hvitserk. "So are you two…. just friends?"

 Before Kari could explain, Hvitserk jumped in to answer. 

 "Ivar and I share her."

 Immediately Kari choked on air due to his candid response. Her gaze darted to Erik in horror, seeing his jaw dropped and eyes wide as saucers. Beside her Hvitserk cackled like a hyena at both of their expressions. 

 "That's not…. ugh! No!" Kari tried to speak, once she could functionally breathe again, only to cover her face as her words tumbled out of her mouth inelegantly. 

 "Awww, come on, Kari. You know I'm teasing." The elder Lothbrok tugged her hands away from her face, which only caused her to bury her face in his shoulder. "We know Ivar doesn't share. But if you ever get tired of his cranky ass, I'll be more than willing to show you a good time."

 "Oh my god." She mumbled to herself, completely mortified. The evening had been going so well, and now…. all of this. Whose grave had she accidently stepped on today? 

 Erik awkwardly cleared his throat as he rose to his feet. "Um, I'm going to go."

 "I'm so sorry, Erik." She elbowed Hvitserk when he refused to release her hands, earning an 'oof' from him. Turning her body to give Erik her full attention, she continued, hoping this had not ruined their friendship or his night. "I know this is last minute but do you think you can give me a ride to work tomorrow? If you don't want to, that's fine, especially after all of this, I wouldn't blame you."

 "No, no. I mean, sure. It's not a problem. Just, ah, text me when you're ready."

 She smiled gratefully at him. "I will. Have a good night, Erik!"

 "You too, Kari." He gave her his signature boyish grin. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looked at Hvitserk. "Nice meeting you."

 "Yeah, nice meeting you too." He said back, draping his arm once again behind Kari. 

 Erik gave Kari another brief smile before disappearing back inside his townhouse, the door sliding quietly shut behind him. 

 Hvitserk continued to stare where Erik disappeared for a long minute before muttering, "boy better watch himself."

 "What are you talking about?" She sighed out, feeling the lurking sensation of a stress headache coming on.  

 "He wants to fuck you. Ivar won't like that."

 "What is with…. No. I'm ignoring all of that." She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Ugh, my evening was going so well until an hour ago."

 "What happened? That guy showed up to bother you? Want me to tell him to lay off?" His questions came out in rapid-fire, concern infused in his voice. 

 "No, Erik is fine. It's …. it's nothing like that."

 "So, what happened?"

 "Nothing important. Have you heard from Ivar?"

 He raised a brow at her dismissal but changed the subject. "Yeah, looks like he got what he needed so he'll be back tomorrow morning."

 "Oh good."

 "Hmmm…. which means he'll want to take you out tomorrow."

 "He bought me some dresses." She softly confessed, fiddling with her diamond stud earring. 

 "I'd recommend wearing one of those."

 She swatted at him, only to mirror the easy grin on his face. After a moment, she asked, "I just…. is it weird for him to do that?" 

 "What?"

 "Buy me stuff."

 "Does it bother you?"

 "I don't know."

 "If you want my advice, I'd say to let him." He lifted a finger to silence her protest. Her mouth snapped shut at his pointed look. Once he was sure she would not interrupt him, he spoke. "Ivar has never been good with…. verbally expressing affection, something I am sure he learned from our father. So he buys gifts, something he can touch and control. If he's buying you gifts, not out of obligation but because he wants to spoil you, then you mean a lot to him."

 She pondered his words and how she felt about them. Never did she want Ivar to feel taken advantage of by her, especially in regards to his money. She would rather tear her own heart out than make him feel used again. It grated slightly how freely he wasted money on her. The dresses were lovely, something she could only dream of having with her current salary. But she worked hard for her life, to be independent. Even whenever they went out to eat together, he never let her pay for her own meal. She had given up that fight already but this…. It felt different. Yet what Hvitserk said slunk back to the forefront of her mind. If this was his way of showing affection, of letting her know he cared about her, would it do more damage to refuse his gift?

 "How did you become so insightful into Ivar?" She teased, deciding to think about this more later. 

 He laughed, flicking her ear with the hand he still had behind her. "Out of necessity. I don't think anyone can fully understand him, not even himself."

 "He's complex." She agreed. 

 "That's a nice way of putting it." He tipped his head to the side to meet her gaze. "Now, tell me what happened earlier."

 "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

 "Ivar told me to check on you. If I left you trying to hide tears and he found out, he'd probably break my hands or legs, not sure how particular he would be."

 Biting her bottom lip, she debated blowing him off again. It was not his problem, she could deal with her own issues. But there was something about Hvitserk that made her feel comfortable around him. Even though he was under no obligation, he seemed to actually care about her. 

 Finally, she gave in with a sigh, laying her head against his shoulder. "Alana said…. Um, this townhouse belongs to her uncle. Him and his family moved into a bigger home and instead of selling this place decided to rent it out for a little extra cash. The rent is minimal, since he isn't renting to really make a profit. It's honestly the only way I've been able to afford being here. Well, Alana told me earlier that he is having to increase our rent. She didn't really tell me why but now it's going to be an extra 300 a month…. and I don't have that. So unless I want to find somewhere new to live, it kind of looks like I need to get a second job."

 He waited a moment before flatly stating, "have Ivar pay the extra. Fuck, he'd probably pay your whole rent if you asked him too."

 "No! I don't want that!" She sat up so fast, it was a miracle she did not fall off the couch. Her eyes turned to the brother beside her, wide and pleading. "Please don't tell him, Hvitty! I don't want him thinking I'm using him for his money. I…. I need to do this on my own somehow. I'll figure it out, honestly. I just wasn't expecting this to happen, that's all."

 "You really don't care about our money, do you?"

 "No." It broke her heart a little at the shock in his questioning tone. Did any of them ever expect someone to care about them without the influence of their money? 

 He stared off into the distance before looking back at her with a solemn expression. "I'll make you a deal. I won't say anything to Ivar about this, but if you are struggling, even if it's just one month's payment, you come to me and I'll help until you get your head above water again, got it?"

 "Why would you want to help me?" She quietly asked, meeting his gaze. 

 He smirked. "I like you. You're genuine. Plus, you're also great for Ivar. I'd like you to stick around and if this is one way to help with that, it's an easy solution." He narrowed his eyes at her as she started to protest again. "Don't fight me on this."

 "You Lothbroks are unbelievable. Fine." She laid her head back on his shoulder. "Thank you, Hvitserk…. and thanks for coming to check on me."

 "Anytime. You've got my number. Just cause you're Ivar's woman doesn't mean we can't be friends. But my offer still stands, if you get sick of him, I'll be the first to snatch you up."

 She laughed, heart feeling lighter than it had all afternoon. "Stop. I'm not Ivar's woman."

 "You keep telling yourself that."

 They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the sky change colors. 

 "Mmmm…."

 "What?" She looked up at him. 

 He peeked down at her with a shit-eating grin. "I still can't remember if I fucked your roommate or not."

 "Gods, Hvitserk!"

 *****

 Before she fell asleep that night, she checked her phone one last time. A jolt of elation shot through her when she saw an unread text from Ivar. Her fingers fumbled with how quickly she tried to unlock her phone to read the text. 

 Ivar: good nite, kitten. C u 2morrow.

 A silly smile on her face, she replied. 

 Kari: sweet dreams, Ivar.

 After that, she plugged in her phone and curled up under her covers. Relief and excitement bled into her veins, allowing her to drift off to sleep with thoughts of the dark-haired Lothbrok coming home to her.