#it took me a week to put my thoughts in order enough to write this
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iknityounot · 11 months ago
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(Long post, sorry y'all)
A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.
In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.
She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.
Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.
After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:
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DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.
Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!
So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.
Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.
At the end of August, the blanket was done!
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I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)
She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it. 
She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.
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And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.
Five stars, absolutely worth it!
(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)
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adrienneleclerc · 6 months ago
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Heyy can you write a onsehot of charles being really really really clingy to the reader ,like wanting cuddels kisses
YES!!!!! I don’t think I ever wrote Charles in a clingy way so it’ll be fun to try!
Attached at The Hip
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina reader
Summary: Charles has a break between races and decides to spend it with his girlfriend. However, his girlfriend is not paying attention to him.
Warning: spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: sorry it’s been a while since I have posted anything, I went to California as my graduation gift. Thank you for your request! I am so happy you like my writing enough to request a oneshot! If I haven’t gotten to your request yet, I AM WORKING ON IT, te lo juro por las haditas.
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Charles had a 3 week break between races and what better way to spend this break than with his lovely girlfriend? When Charles came back Tuesday afternoon, he cuddled with his girlfriend, they watched a movie together, he gave her many kisses because he missed her so much. However, Wednesday morning Charles woke up without Y/N by his side and with the smell of baked goods. Charles walked into the kitchen and saw Y/N with her cupcake apron, frosting one batch of cupcakes, pulling another batch out of the oven, and putting another batch in the oven.
“Mon ange, it’s 7 am, what are you doing baking?” Charles asked.
“I received an order for cupcakes, muñeco. It’s a birthday party so I’m making cupcakes for the children and for the adults. I made margarita cupcakes for the adults and s’mores cupcakes for the children. I obviously wanted the cupcakes to be fresh, the party starts at 1, that also gives me time to deliver these.” Y/N said, showing Charles the tray of macarons that were made yesterday before he came over. “I spent the entire morning frosting them. If you can take the cupcakes out of the oven when the timer rings, I would greatly appreciate it.”
“I thought we were going to spend the day together.” Charles pouted, getting closer to hug Y/N but she walked away from his hug.
“Muñeco, i would love to cuddle you, but I have to deliver these to the café before they open.” Y/N packed the macarons in boxes very carefully and left the apartment, leaving a very sad Charles. When the timer dinged, he took out the cupcakes using Y/N’s oven mitts and placed them on top of the stove, turning off the oven. Y/N got back with bags of groceries for her apartment and her business.
“Ma Belle, are you still going to bake?” Charles asked.
“Charles, i supply macarons everyday for a café plus personal orders. I’m a busy girl, muñeco.” Y/N responded, Charles hugged her from behind.
“Can’t you take a break, please.” Charles whispered in her ear, kissing her neck as well.
“Muñeco…” Y/N whines
“I haven’t gotten any attention today.” Charles whined
“Let me frost the cupcakes and I’ll give you all the attention you want. Until 12 that is, then I’ll have to deliver these cupcakes.” Y/N said.
“I’ll take it.” Charles pulled away from Y/N, kissing her and letting her do a baker’s job. As soon as she finished frosting the cupcakes, she laid down with Charles and he was very happy with her in his arms. They watched the Spanish TV show “Ni Una Más” with English subtitles for Charles when Y/N’s phone rings, it was the mom who was throwing the birthday party.
“Hello, yes the cupcakes are ready, I’ll be over there in a few. S’mores cupcakes for the kids and margarita cupcakes for you guys, alright, bye.” Y/N hung up the phone. “Muñeco, I gotta go.” Y/N tried to get up but Charles held her tighter.
“No, please stay.” Charles begged against her neck.
“Muñeco, this is how I make my rent, I have to drop off the cupcakes.” Y/N said, getting up successfully and putting the cupcakes in their respective containers. Charles got up as well.
“At least let me drive you.” Charles said.
“Nope, you’re staying here like a good boy, okay.” Y/N said, opening the apartment door with cupcake boxes in hand. “Stay…good boy.” Y/N left the apartment, leaving Charles again.
After Y/N was paid 200 euros for the cupcakes since they are flavors that not everyone else makes, she went back to her apartment and found Charles on the couch.
“Finally, you’re home! Let’s spend some time together, yes? We should go out on the yacht.” Charles said, “or we could stay in bed,” Charles hugged Y/N from behind.
“You’re so clingy. But you’re adorable, let’s go.” Y/N said. Charles silently cheers and grabs Y/N’s hand to lead her into her bedroom so they could watch TV and rot in bed together.
The End
I hope you like it, I don’t know how to write “clingy” because I have a fearful avoidant attachment style so I don’t know what “clingy” typically looks like but I hope it’s acceptable
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pathologicalreid · 10 months ago
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Can you write bau!reader who is pregnant x spencer, they have an argument and spencer gets really angry, snaps at her and then leaves, and she ends up going into labor early
brilliance | S.R.
in which reader goes into labor after a fight and spencer is nowhere to be found
who? spencer reid x fem!pregnant!BAU!reader category: angst content warnings: pregnancy/labor, hospitals, premature birth, possible medical inaccuracy. word count: 2.41k a/n: thank you for the request anon! this one kind of got away from me so it's a little long. i feel inclined to tell you that my place holder title for this request was "womp womp"
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You followed your husband into the bullpen, he was on a tear, and unfortunately, you found yourself on the receiving end. “Spencer, slow down,” you pleaded with him, walking as fast as you were able in order to catch up with him.
He spun around and looked at you, “You shouldn’t even have been in the field, Y/N! What if something had happened to you?” He dropped his bag on his desk and glared at you, you hated seeing that fire in his eyes, but you needed to stand your ground.
“I was not in the field, we happened to be nearby, and a crime was being committed,” you corrected him, “Luke went in. I stayed in the SUV, Spence.”
Spencer shook his head like he was trying to tell you that your answer wasn’t good enough, “You are thirty-four weeks pregnant, you should have stayed here.”
Frustrated, you threw your hands up, “That’s not the deal, Spencer. Non-dangerous field situations, remember? It’s worked until now.”
“The point I’m trying to make is that any non-violent situation can turn violent,” he told you, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Shrugging, you stepped towards him, “You’re right, but-“
“Then how could you be so stupid? Putting yourself in danger like that?” He said, cutting you off.
You felt like the wind had been knocked out of your lungs. You opened your mouth to respond when Rossi came out of his office, oblivious to the discussion the two of you were having, he went to Spencer and asked him if he wanted to check out a lead they had on the case.
To your surprise, he went with Rossi, leaving you in the bullpen, staring after him as the elevator doors closed. “Hey,” a familiar voice said next to you. “What do you say we go visit Penelope?” JJ asked you as she set a comforting hand on your arm, not waiting for an answer as she led you out of the glass doors and towards Penelope’s office.
You covered your face with your hands, “Did everyone just see that?” You whispered, horrified.
“I wouldn’t worry about that right now,” she said, knocking on the door before Garcia invited you in. JJ grabbed chairs for the two of you and you gratefully accepted.
Slouched in the chair, your eyes burned as JJ recounted the story for Penelope. “He called her what?” You shifted uncomfortably in the chair, a dull ache in your lower back preventing you from getting comfortable.
It seemed inevitable; you married a guy with six degrees. You were always bound to be the less intelligent one in the relationship. You just never thought Spencer would be the one reminding you of it. It's one of your biggest insecurities, and he broadcasted it for the entire BAU to hear.
“Oh,” Garcia said, “I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. I cannot believe he said that to you!” She waved a pen in the air, which was about the extent of her anger. “And then he just left?” She groaned, “Men.”
“Amen,” JJ concurred.
You didn’t answer, you just wiped a tear from your cheek and took a deep breath, the pain in your back subsiding.
Garcia looked at you and smiled, “he’ll come back, and when he does, I highly encourage you to call him stupid.”
Halfheartedly, you smiled at her, “Thanks, Pen. I just…” The ache grew in your back again, “I wish I knew what was going through his head.”
“He’s probably nervous about being a dad,” JJ admitted. “It’s something he’s always wanted, and years ago he had kind of resorted to the idea that it wasn’t going to happen. Then you got married, and then you got pregnant, and things changed again.”
You gripped the arm of the chair and tried to ignore the worried look that the two blondes exchanged.
Penelope leaned forward, “Are you alright?” She asked nervously.
Nodding, you winced, which definitely gave you away. “It’s just Braxton Hicks,” you said, waving away her concern.
JJ raised her eyebrows, “Are they coming consistently?” She asked, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out her phone.
“Uh, maybe? I haven’t been timing them. They’ve been coming all morning… Wait, hey! No, I can’t be in labor,” you said, you were only thirty-four weeks.
Helping you stand, Garcia looked at you, as serious as you’ve ever seen her and said, “It might be a good idea to get checked out anyways, okay? It might be nothing.”
She didn’t have to say it for you to know, it could be nothing, but you could also be having a baby today. You hadn’t picked godparents, you hadn’t picked a name, and you didn’t have your hospital bag with you. “I’ll go tell Emily,” JJ said, rushing out of the room and leaving you with Penelope.
“There has to be something about this room, this is where JJ went into labor with Henry many moons ago,” Penelope picked up her things.
Tears pricked your eyes, but you swallowed them down, “Will you call him for me?” You asked her, watching as she quickly dialed Spencer’s number on her phone.
She failed to hide the way her face fell when he didn’t answer, “I will- I’m going to keep calling until I get an answer.”
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Phones weren’t allowed in the room, so JJ sat next to your hospital bed while Penelope tried to reach Spencer. “If he misses this, I’m going to throttle him,” JJ said, shaking her head in disbelief.
“If he misses this, it’s going to crush him,” you whispered, watching the monitor you were hooked up to. He might’ve hurt your feelings, but missing the birth of your baby? That was something he couldn’t get back. Your doctor had tried to stop your labor, but you kept progressing anyway. “Did she try Rossi?”
JJ nodded, looking out into the hallway as Penelope paced through the hallway, her heels clicking on the hospital floor.
You took a deep breath, “I’m worried they’re in trouble, or something happened. Oh my god, JJ. What if something happened?”
Vaguely aware of how your heart rate spiked, JJ grabbed your hand, “Hey, don’t worry about that. They would’ve called for backup if they were in trouble.”
Nodding, you leaned back into the pillows, the number of machines you were hooked up to made it hard to get comfortable. That didn’t even account for the contractions. “I’m glad you’re here because you know what’s happening. Even though we’re on an active case,” you told her.
“And you’re in active labor, of course I’m here,” she told you.
The doctor came back in to check on you, and when she told you that you were nearly there you cried. You had been with Spencer for years, at some points it genuinely felt like you had gone to hell and back together. One bickering match at Quantico wasn’t enough to stop the two of you.
From the hallway, you heard Penelope shout, “Oh my god, David Rossi!”
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You watched as Spencer rushed through the hospital hallway, his shoes squeaking as he turned to face you in the doorway. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know where to begin.
“Hey JJ, can you give us a minute?” You asked, reaching out to squeeze her hand. After assuring her that you were going to be fine, she walked out of the room, neglecting to greet Spencer on her way out. “She’s mad at you,” you explained. “Garcia too,” you finished, your eyes following him as he sat down in the chair that JJ had previously occupied.
Slowly, Spencer slowly approached your bed, his eyes flicked over to the bassinet that would soon hold your baby before his golden irises studied your face. Taking a deep breath, he reached over and held your left hand – the one that brandished your wedding ring. “They’ll live,” he assured you, “but what about you?”
You hummed, “Maybe on a different day, I’d be mad at you. Not today though. You hurt my feelings, but I’m not mad at you.” He tenderly kissed the back of your hand as another contraction roiled through you.
“I’m sorry,” he told you earnestly, “I’m so sorry.” He looked around the room, “Only you would go into labor and not realize it. How’s your pain?” He asked, immediately jumping into his role.
Smiling softly, you tilted your head towards him, “You always said my high pain tolerance would get me in trouble someday.” You shifted slightly in the bed, “I’m good, Spence, honest.” Of course, the epidural helped immensely. “I just wish I had the bag,” you admitted.
He grinned, “I have it.” Reaching behind him, he grabbed the bag and lifted it up to show you. The two of you had packed the hospital bag together, and fortunately had the foresight to pack it early.
“I love you!” You blurted, laughing despite yourself. “Oh, I was so upset, Spence!”
Leaning forward, Spencer pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, your skin was clammy, but he didn’t seem to mind. “We were on our way, but I knew you’d want it. In between encouraging me and berating me, Dave stopped so I could grab it from the house. I felt like I needed to bring it as reparations.”
You shook your head, “I’ll get my reparations. I’ll get them in the form of you changing diapers and waking up in the middle of the night.”
He laughed slightly before the smile faded from his face. “You know I think you’re brilliant, right?” Spencer whispered, his expression serious. “Genuinely, Y/N. You’ll say I’m the genius, but your ability to keep up with me is unmatched. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
You opened your mouth to respond but groaned as a contraction hit you.
“Hey,” Spencer whispered, “You’ve got this, love. You’re doing incredible.” As the pain subsided, your eyebrows furrowed, and he noticed. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Taking a deep breath, you looked up at him, “I want to push,” you answered.
He nodded and stood up, “I’ll go get the doctor.”
Before he left, he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “Spence,” you whispered, “You’re going to be a great dad,” you told him. You were thinking about what you had talked to JJ and Garcia about earlier, about Spencer being worried about being a dad. He could worry all he wanted, you knew Spencer Reid, and you knew he was going to be an incredible father.
Smiling softly, he responded, “You’re going to be an even better mom.” He assured you that he’d be right back before he went into the hallway.
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Small.
She was so small. Just under five pounds, but to your relief, she came out crying. She'd need to spend some time in the NICU, but for now she was with you.
She had been measured, wiped down, tested, and fed, and now she was asleep on your chest. “You’re hovering,” you whispered, sparing a glance over at your husband. He was slightly leaning over the bed with his chin resting in his hands. The two of you had named her Lucie, after a character in your favorite Dickens novel.
“Get used to it,” he whispered back at you. Reaching over and pulling your daughter’s blanket further over her tiny shoulders. Moving his hand up to you, he swept an awry strand of hair from your face, “How are you?”
You felt like your body had been put through a laundry wringer, but you just closed your eyes and hummed, settling back into the pillows even more. “Sore, but happy. Exhausted, but exhilarated. I also kind of feel like bursting into tears,” you said, keeping your voice low. “And don’t lecture me about my hormones, or I will burst into tears.”
Spencer smiled slightly, “You should rest. Do you want to put her in the bassinet?” He said, the bassinet was right next to your bed so you could easily access it.
“Why don’t you hold her?” You asked softly, studying his body language. “She’s your daughter, there’s nothing to worry about,” you tried to comfort him.
He shook his head, “That’s exactly why I’m worried.”
You waited for him to continue. Over the years, you had seen him with Henry, Michael, and Hank, he handled them all very well, but he seemed unnerved by your daughter. “Are you upset that she’s a girl?” You asked, looking around at the pink balloons in the room.
“What? No, definitely not. It’s not that she’s a girl, it’s that she’s my girl,” Spencer said, speaking with his hands as he clarified what was bothering him.
My girl. Your heart clenched at his words. “Here,” you said, adjusting the baby so you could hand her to her dad. Lucie’s mittened hands flailed slightly but she didn’t fully rouse, quickly settling onto her father’s chest. “Spencer, you are not your father,” you told him, keeping your voice firm.
He pressed his lips together in a thin white line and nodded, “I know.”
“Do you? Because I really need you to know that,” you insisted. “You’re not your father. Do you know how I know that?”
Spencer closed his eyes, and a tear streamed down his cheek. “Because you’re brilliant?”
You grinned and shook your head, “No, Spence. It’s because I know you. Your loyalty knows no bounds, and sometimes you say stupid things, but I know that you love me. I know that you love our daughter, and I know that you’ll never leave. I promise never to take advantage of that so long as you promise to never change.”
He seemed to think about your words for a moment, looking down at the sleeping newborn in his arms. “You are brilliant,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“You said that already,” you whispered. Really, Spencer had apologized so many times that you had lost count.
Spencer sighed, and you could almost see the tension leave his body, “’You have been the last dream of my soul,’” He quoted to you. “I was scared. No amount of fear can justify what I said to you.”
You watched as Lucie wriggled in Spencer’s arms, “Maybe not, but you have the rest of our lives to make it up to me.” In the quiet hospital room, you heard a bubbling sound, “You could probably start by changing her diaper.”
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please reblog, comment, and/or like if you enjoyed 💛
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jarofstyles · 4 months ago
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The Favor 9
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Hey... Sorry it took me a minute. I've decided this is definitely not the only club scene for them because there's a lot I want t explore with them. Part of me wants to apologize for adding so much in but I hope you guys love them as much as I do!!! They are one of my all time favorite pairings to write.
Also don't worry Im working on getting rid of Danny lol
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WC- 10.2k
Warnings- dom/sub dynamic, BD/SM, Exhibitionism, voyeurism, degrading, choking, sir/daddy kink, pet/puppy nicknames, name calling, slight Mean Dom H mixed with soft Dom tbh, tiny bit of humiliation kink, aftercare is in the next part I promiseeeee
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Y/N was buzzing in her own skin. 
So much was happening in her brain that it felt borderline overwhelming. She stood in Harry’s bathroom looking into the mirror with her hands on her face, just to confirm that she was, in fact, a real person. 
The night prior had been intense. A lot, but in a good way. Something had shifted between them, as she suspected, but neither of them were truly ready to talk about it. Harry was instead, a lot more affectionate which… to be honest, she hadn’t expected. It was a glorious change, feeling his hands or eyes on her whenever she was in a room with him. He’d had her sit on his lap while he proof read something on his laptop, his hand stroking over her stomach and underneath one of his shirts that he’d put on her after their bath the night before. There was no urgency to talk, Y/N leaning her head on his shoulder and relaxing into the warm, fresh smell of the man she was so connected to whilst scrolling on her phone. He’d made them breakfast and ordered them lunch, but she had noticed a distinct lack of kissing. 
It made her wonder if she pushed a bit last night, asking for one. Somehow she doubted it considering he had been the one giving her kisses the last few weekends together, but there was a weird seed of dread in her stomach that reminded her that at some point the weekend would be over and the warm place she had in the pool of Harry’s warmth would dry up and she’d need to come back up for air. To go through the week without seeing him, except maybe for a lunch, when she had grown so needy for his mere presence. He was attentive even when they weren’t physically around, more than the man she had called her boyfriend, but it still didn’t feel like enough. As weird and freaky as it sounded, she wanted to crawl under his skin somehow. Get as close as possible. 
Tonight they’d be going to the sex club. Something she was both excited and nervous about, the weird feeling in her chest making her wonder which one outweighed the other. Harry had communicated very clearly that this first visit was going to be rather tame- or, as tame as a sex club visit could be. They’d watch a scene he had pre chosen, a voyer couple in a room open to exhibitionists. Before that, they’d mingle and he would introduce her to some of his friends he had there. 
One thing she wasn’t too sure about though, was getting too close to anyone he had played with before. Y/N, while not historically jealous, found her skin crawling with ants at the idea of having to be around someone else who knew how he tasted, how he looked when he came. Sure, he wasn’t officially hers, but it felt like it more than she cared to admit. That had added on to her anxiety but it wasn’t something she wanted to openly admit to him yet, so she kept it under wraps for the time being.
He’d done something nice for her and got her a dress. A cute little thing, lacy and white. A sweetheart neckline and strapless, she was hoping the strapless bra was going to do its job- but then again, she kind of hoped maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe he had chosen the dress for ease of access. The idea of him slipping down the top and playing with her in front of other people had her wet the moment she thought about it. 
Her panties, though, were noticeably missing in the ensemble. When she asked about them, his smirk had rose on his lips. “Who said you were getting any?”
So all in all, she was a complete and utter wreck of hormones and anxiety. 
Freshly showered, she had fixed her hair and sat staring at herself with her makeup half done. Another of the dominant’s shirts hung off her shoulders. He had a vanity that was cleared of anything but her stuff, which was nice, but another flare of jealousy had worked its way through her. Who else had used this vanity for this exact thing? Who else had been getting ready for him to take them to the club to play with them in the way that was so uniquely Harry? 
It was no right of hers to be jealous or possessive when she was still in a relationship, though it was one she was having her doubts about. Her phone remained empty of any texts from him. The longer he put it off, the less she cared about what he had to say. Anger wasn’t really there considering Harry had been giving her plenty of attention, but still. Her brain was craving the quiet only the Dominant had managed to give her. 
“Alright?” His sudden appearance made her squeal, jumping in her chair. Clutching her ever beating heart, she looked at him wide eyed in the reflection. Where the fuck had he come from and how long had he been there? 
“Fucks sake, H.” She wheezed. “You need some sort of bell or something. How long have you been standing there?” Where she expected a laugh, she got none. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed, he turned the chair towards him and lifted a hand to tilt her head up. “For a minute or two. I was waiting for you to notice but…” Eyes scrutinized her face. “You’re nervous.” 
There wasn’t much she could hide from him. To be fair, she hadn’t planned on it, but it was still annoying, borderline unsettling on how he could read her like an open book. “A little. It’s not a big deal though.” 
“We don’t have to go yet, if you aren’t ready. We don’t have to go at all.” His voice was soft as he kept his face placid, clearly trying not to sway her either way. It was yet another confirmation to her that he actually did give a fuck about her well being. 
The idea of not going at all, though, made her shake her head rapidly. Wouldn’t that mean they would cut off their arrangement? As selfish as it was, she couldn’t give him up yet. She couldn’t give up the orgasms and the kisses and the praise, just as much as she didn’t want to give up the daily texts and jokes and pictures of Buttons when she was back at her own place. “No! It’s just, it’s a little intimidating. That’s all.” She sighed, leaning into his hand. That seemed to soften him a bit, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip as he tried to gage her. 
“What about it has got you intimidated?” 
It felt oddly good having him standing over her, petting at her. His gaze soft, looking down at her as he tried to make her feel comfortable but undeniably in control of the situation. Of her. 
“You know people there, mostly. But the whole thing. I know we’ve gone over what we’re doing but it feels bigger the closer we get there. Y’know?” She puckered her lips over the pad of his thumb, watching as his smile tipped the corner of his lips. These tiny acts of intimacy were going to be the ones that ruined her. “I’m very excited. It’s what I’ve wanted, you know? And I kinda think that makes me put more pressure on the expectation.” 
Harry hummed in his throat, nodding along to her observations. It made logical sense and she knew it, but seeing him agree made her feel a little better. Maybe she wasn’t overreacting after all. 
“It is intimidating. It's taboo, in a way. Something that’s going to shock your system. You don’t go many places with people being so open sexually around you. It isn’t so blatant until the shows start, but even then. It’s the sort of stuff you're used to fantasizing about, and to see it right in front of you can be a lot to take in. Seeing people on leashes, or full body spandex, masks, all of that. It’s new to you, so I expect it to be intimidating to you. But may I offer you a few pieces of advice?” 
Y/N would lick his shoes if he asked in the right tone of voice, so she nodded. She wondered if she would get away with it, and his eyes did narrow, but he chose to let it go. 
“The only person I’m going to be focusing on when we go is you. I have some friends, yes, and I’d like you to meet them and their submissives, but I’m not expecting you to make best friends at the first meeting.” He started, ever so slowly pushing his thumb into her mouth. Testing the waters. Like second nature, she began to suck lightly on the tip of it as he continued talking, the tip of her tongue brushing the pad of his finger. “But the real advice I have is to let go. Let me control the night. I’ve got you, I’ve got everything you need to do up in my head. All you’ve got to do is follow directions. If I tell you to say hello? Say hello. If I don’t, you don’t. If I tell you to sit on my lap, you sit there. Tell you to get on your knees, you do it. If I tell you to suck my cock, you do it. Because everyone else there is doing the same thing, if not, they’re there to watch it happen. There’s nothing you need to worry that pretty little head about.” His eyes darkened slightly as she took his thumb a little further into her mouth, blinking up at him. “Okay? Daddy’s got you.” 
Somehow it worked. Some of that anxiety melted away, realizing he was fully serious. All she needed to do was listen to him. That was the backbone of all of this. 
“You’re in control. You’ve got the power to color out, you’ve got the boundaries and I’m just there to make sure you’re tended to properly. Remember what I said, hm? Me being in control is only because you allow me to be.” 
That had been something she learned more and more as the time passed by with him. As incredible as it felt to have him be in charge, she had the ultimate say so. She could color out at any moment. There was no reason not to trust him because he had never given her a reason not to. 
“Your safe word isn’t just for sex, either. Anything you want to stop tonight, you tell me. I know you’ll be good and remember that, but I just need to remind you before you hand yourself over to me. I will never be disappointed or angry because you need a break, or you don’t want to do something. I care about you a lot more than I care about nutting off or showing off to people.” 
In truth, Harry would never forgive himself if something happened and she ever felt unsafe with him. It was a team effort, yeah, but he did think he was good enough at reading her that he would be extremely upset if he didn’t predict something like that. Y/N did run a bit anxious sometimes. He’d been able to get her to a point where she completely let go for him, and he wanted to repeat that pattern over and over until the weight that she felt on her shoulders lessened. As strong as the woman was, he wanted to help take some of it on his own back. 
His thumb pulled from her mouth with a soft ‘pop’, the dominant ignoring the whimper and smearing the sweetness of her saliva over her chin. It was the world’s highest honor to see her eyes round out for him, to watch her track his every moment like the eager pet she had proven to be for him. Knowing she wanted to please him made him feel more powerful, more fulfilled, than he had been in a very long time. Showing her off was something he had been more than looking forward to doing, but there wouldn’t have been any use in doing it if she wouldn’t feel equal enjoyment. “Are we okay, Sweets?” 
“Yeah.” She sighed, the sigh exhaling against his damp finger. “I gotta finish getting ready though. You have my outfit picked out on the bed?” 
“I do.” He nodded, lightly fingering a loose tendril of hair that brushed her cheek. “And you’ll be wearing that black peacoat over it. Should keep you nice and warm.” Tilting her chin up, he placed one of the first kisses of the evening on her pouty lips before smoothing his thumb back over her mouth. “You’ve got time, darling. Don’t worry.” 
—--
Y/N felt marginally better as she held on to his hand, clinging for dear life on his wrist with the other as they waited at the front entrance. 
There had been quite a lot she expected from a club dedicated to kink. Karma was as sensual and mysterious as ever, but the front of a closed hair salon letting them in had been a shock to the system. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have thought Harry had lost his mind until he opened the back room door and exposed an entirely different aesthetic. A black and gold elevator, black marble floor and red curtained walls. That had to be a bitch to dust. 
With a key card, he placed it on the gold plated button pad and it opened for them to step inside. Now that she was in the elevator she could hear some music, some people, but nothing she could have ever expected from the street view. Privacy was very important to them, as she could tell. “They’re going to put our phones and my keys into the locker and we’ll get them on the way out. It’s for everyone’s privacy, but there are staff in there to ensure you have an out if you need it.” Unwinding their fingers, his grip changed to her jaw to tilt it up to look at him. The casual dominance had her knees weak. How did he manage to do it so seamlessly? “We’re gonna check out coats, and then we’ll go in. You are safe with me, Pet.” His tone was gentle, reminding her again how he had been the best thing to wander into her life. There was no saying shit just to say it. The man wanted to assure her, drill it into her brain, that he was completely here for her and everything they did was because she wanted to do it. 
As intimidating as it was, she swallowed the lump around her throat and gave him a nod before allowing him to take her coat off.  Standing in front of a hostess and the man who worked the coat check in her little outfit had made her a little stiff at first, but the moment she heard the quiet curse under his breath, their opinions didn’t matter. 
He had chosen a maroon babydoll for her to wear tonight. Satin cups clung over her breasts while it transferred to a tight knit mesh-like material that flowed over her body and hit her upper thighs. The panties had been a bit of a different choice, rather simple silk ones with lace trim. She’d expected lace, a g string, something else but they were really nice. It wasn’t overtly sexual, but it made her feel sexy as she had tugged them up her thighs and settled the waistband on her hips. The outfit had surprised her a little considering she had thought maybe he’d want her to wear something completely form fitting or restrictive, like spandex or leather, but instead he’d gone with something more flowy and light. Maybe he was starting them soft for the first time, but it was the sexiest she had felt so far in her life. 
“You look incredible.” He mumbled, placing the coat numbers on the counter with their phones and his keys. “Fuck me.” Lithe fingers traced over the straps, the feather light touch stopping at the necklace he’d chosen for her tonight. A simple gold chain with a heart. At first she had thought he would give her one of those collars, but she wasn’t sure how that worked. 
“I was going to give you the one with my first initial, but I was saving that.” The admission made her eyebrows raise. Why hadn’t he done that? “I wanted to ease you into it, and for some reason you’ve been turnin’ me into a possessive son of a bitch. Wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep composure if it was on there like that… But I don’t think that matters too much now, anyway.” 
Harry had always known he was attracted to Y/N in otherworldly, almost inappropriately intense ways. While he could be a jealous man, he hadn’t felt it to this degree. Irritated that she didn’t have his name on her neck or a traditional sign of ownership. He was a weak man when it came to her, but he didn’t mind when he could see her preen slightly over his words. The one thing that was soothing his inner caveman was the fact that she had marks from him on her body. Love bites blooming from the swell of her left breast and one he’d sucked on the right side of her neck, a few little bruises from his fingers digging into her hips… They were little badges of honor. 
He’d caught her this morning, admiring them in the foggy mirror. He’d come to bring a fresh towel before she got into the shower and watched quietly as she ran her fingers over the marked skin, the tiniest little smile on her lips that made his cock twitch. If they hadn’t had plans to come here tonight he would have bent her over the counter and gave her more. That silent appreciation at the tiniest hints of ownership meant more than she would ever know. 
“I can wear it next time.” She peeped, meeting his eyes. “I like this one too, but… I like the other idea.” 
The silence was loud for a moment as he observed her, the admission making her look a little flustered. Every day it seemed they were slipping into something far more serious than they’d set out to, but the unspoken words lingered under their tongues. It wasn’t the right time to discuss. “Noted.” Thumbing over her chin, he nodded at her before tucking the tickets from the coat check into the pocket of his pants. “Come on then, Pet. Let’s have a look.” 
—-
Y/N’s eyes were wide as they took in the vast room around her. 
Holy fuck. Harry hadn’t been kidding about it shocking her system. 
His hand held the back of her neck as she was guided towards the bar, where she was warned didn’t sell any actual alcohol for safety reasons. It matched and exceeded her expectations upon first glance. 
The stage was set up with some sort of bench, but it was obvious they’d come before the show had begun. People milled about, laughing and talking as if nothing abnormal was happening- like the woman in her all spandex dress chatting to the bartender, drink in one hand and chain in the other. Connected to the other end of the chain was a man on his knees for her, leather mask covering everything but his eyes and mouth. Not far from her in a booth across the way, a man had a woman on his lap with his hand down her top, playing with her tits and keeping a conversation. 
It wasn’t extreme, no, but it had her a bit spooked. Even more so when she looked to the side and saw a girl on her knees and her face buried under another woman’s dress. So he hadn’t been kidding- it really did happen anywhere. 
Heat flushed over her chest as she averted her gaze, blinking rapidly as she tried to calm her heart. It wasn’t a bad thing, she didn’t think, because she could feel herself becoming excited. Just a walk through and she was warm in her tummy, feeling that anticipation climbing all the way up her throat. She had to wonder what Harry was going to surprise her with tonight. 
“Alright?” He mumbled, turning to face her as they approached the bar. The promise of a sweet, sugary mocktail had been enticing but now her curiosity was wanting to take over. “It’s not too bad, is it?”
“No, Sir.” She shook her head, meeting his eyes. The hand on the back of her neck gave a subtle squeeze, pulling her a little closer. “It’s… I’m curious to see what else goes on, but I think it’s interesting.”
“A lot of things are happening in the rooms. The main stage show isn’t anything too extreme, but the rooms are different theaters on this level, and playrooms on the top level.” The split level was apparent to her now, reminding her a bit of a hotel lobby she’d stayed at once on holiday. Rooms surrounding the top with a walkway that looked down while the bottom was an open concept until it split into four hallways. The place was truly beautiful, albeit a bit intimidating. “What did you want to drink?” 
Y/N looked over the menu with curious eyes, smiling lightly when she saw someone had made a plethora of fruity and sweet concoctions modeled after bubblegum, blue raspberry, cherry, all sorts of stuff. There were more tame things, pina colada and mint julep, but considering she was experimenting tonight she chose something she normally wouldn’t. “Can I have the cotton candy one, Sir?” 
“You may, yes.” The subtle correction had her face flushing for a moment, but she could see he was teasing a little from the dimple threatening to break on his face. God, he was so gorgeous.
It was always apparent that Harry was handsome, but seeing him like this was a whole different experience. His shoulders were bigger, back straighter, a more controlled and poised version of him was at the helm. Was this his best self? Being a dominant, taking and guiding her? He’d said multiple times he liked taking care of people, liked being in charge, so it must feel really good to have her eyes on him at all times. 
When she’d brought up that she’d read a lot about people in her books had dominants that preferred them to avert their eyes, but he’d scoffed at it. In opposition, he’d told her to keep her eyes on him at most times. Joked about it soothing a bit of his ego, but she wasn’t sure how much of it was really a joke at this point. Either way, there would be no complaints about that when the man looked as good as him. Sharp jaw and nose, dark lips, eyelashes that pissed her off because they were so pretty… The man had a way about him that reminded her of classical art. 
When the bartender came over he was greeted with a smile, which he reciprocated with a small one of his own before ordering her the drink she wanted and himself some sort of iced tea thing. She had no clue, considering she was a little busy zoning out. His hand had started to subtly massage the back of her neck and her eyes had glazed over a bit, being pressed into his side making the scent of him increasingly soothing. Perhaps he was doing it for that exact reason, but that was why he was in charge. He knew what to do to calm her nerves. 
As soon as the bartender walked away, he turned back towards her. “And how are you feeling?” Eyes dipping over her body, Y/N swallowed as she knew exactly what he was talking about- and why he looked so damn smug. 
He’d helped her put a plug in before they left. The smallest one, but it had still worked her up a significant amount. There had been something weirdly erotic knowing that he would know why she was shifting around. Trying anal for the first time the night prior had been a mind meltingly good experience, making her even more eager to try new things. It had always been a fantasy of hers, but she hadn’t realized just how good it would feel. How full and connected she would be with it- but again, that was possibly just a Harry thing. He had made the simplest thing far more pleasurable. 
“Good.” She nodded, watching his eyes linger on her breasts. He’d spent time after their sex last night kissing on them in appreciation, letting his lips hover over the marks before he lotioned over her body. Physical touch had to be his top love language, she had deduced. “I, um… It feels weird when I walk. But not bad, Sir.”
“Mmm, I know. You’re walking a bit differently, but you’ll grow used to it. Even more so, I think you’re going to learn to love it.” Adjusting the strap that seemed to be slipping down her shoulder continuously, he let his touch linger. “You’re going to be my good girl and let everyone see how perfect you are, aren’t you?” The tone of his voice dropped into a deeper one, her body reacting to it as she leaned into his touch. “I can’t decide if I want you perched on my lap all night, or if I want you on your knees in front of me.” Clicking his tongue, he shook his head. “Decisions, decisions.”
“Whatever you’d like me to do, Sir.” She replied, though there was no true preference. Y/N was aiming to please tonight, subconsciously feeling the pressure to prove she could be a good submissive for him. 
“Oh, I know, pet. You don’t have a choice in that.” He laughed under his breath. “Precious girl. Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll tell you to sit and speak like my good Pup, alright? You just stick to me.” 
Y/N a few months ago would probably try to fight his words and the condescending tone because that was what was expected of her. Y/N a few months ago would ignore her body when it reacted to those words. Y/N now, though, let her eyes widen and simply agreed, because deep down that’s what she’s been wanting to do. 
When the drinks arrived, her eyes widened at how pretty it was. A soft pink with some sort of glittery shimmer in the drink, the movement of the liquid catching the light. It was by far the most beautiful drink she’d ever seen in her life, and she didn’t want to waste a drop. Holding it in her hand, she let Harry wrap up with the bartender before turning back to her with a new look on his face. “C’mon, it’s time t’say hi to some people. Best behavior.” With a slight pinch to her chin, he led her off.
Harry’s familiarity was evident in how easily he navigated the club. Winding through people with polite nods and greetings, he radiated the now familiar air of power. It was a little different here, though. While he always held the power in the bedroom, there was something that had snapped on his face when they walked in the room that had her ever curious about his past experiences here. Experiences she wouldn’t ask about for her own sake of delicate feelings, but things that he must have done, said, experienced in this secret cove of underground pleasures. 
Yes, it was a bit whips and chains-y, but there was a classy layer to it that she liked here. The weird feeling of belonging settled in her gut as his hand squeezed the back of her neck, keeping her close as they approached a slightly elevated section. Her mind was going a million miles a minute, taking in every bare tit, every collar, every hand wrapped in hair and laugh in the room as he led her up towards their destination that she had almost missed it completely.
Thankfully she caught herself as Harry gently urged them to a stop right in front of a booth full of people. Semi circular, the tabletop was a bit far from the booth itself- but it was clear why as she looked down at the people. 
There were two people on their knees of their perspective dominants. A brunette with her cheek resting on a blonde woman’s knee, fingers brushing through her dark hair and sparkling nails catching the light as she did so had particularly caught her eye. Instead of a tight outfit like the domme at the bar, she had on a powersuit. Her eyes didn’t look down towards her submissive though giving her physical attention, sharp hazel eyes looking over Y/N like a examination. 
“Isn’t she delicious, Styles?” She purred, cat like grin painting her red lips. “Who is she? I know you’ve been gone for a bit… is she why?” The woman seemed pleased at the prospect of Harry having a new submissive, even if she looked at her like she could eat her for lunch. Her face felt hot as she looked up at Harry, the ghost of a smirk on his face. 
“She is.” The confirmation had the people at the table grinning which caught her a bit off guard. They didn’t know she was temporary and he seemed in no rush to tell them- and neither was she. Maybe they could play pretend here, like she was really his and he wanted to keep her for good. The first of many times they’d come together for as long as they felt so inclined. “This is Y/N. She’s been a wonderful little pet for me. My favorite.” A hand fondly ran over her hair, a little smile on his lips now as he was happy to show her off. “She’s a little new to this, but very eager to learn. So tread lightly, yeah?” 
For some reason the information being told didn’t offend her. Maybe if someone else here seemed like it was funny to them, if they’d scoffed, did anything but look understanding she would feel that shame, but they didn’t. They simply nodded, letting Harry slip into the end of the booth. “On my lap for now, Pet.” He patted his thigh, holding his ringed hand out for her to take.
Y/N could feel eyes on her as she nodded, a quiet ‘yes sir’ leaving her lips as she was adjusted over his lap, legs over his thighs as he wound his arm around her waist to keep her body steady. “Say hello.” The words weren’t disguised as a request. It was clearly an order. Why did she find it so hot? 
“Hello. It’s nice to meet you all.” She peeped, leaning into Harry’s touch as he gave her a squeeze of reassurance. It was pretty clear on who was a dominant at the table, versus the submissive. Two were on their knees, two sitting under their dominant’s arms, and one in a similar position to Y/N. 
“Is it your first time here?” A man asked this time. His voice was softer spoken but there was an edge to him that screamed that he was in charge. It was a little similar to Harry in which he looked kind, but anyone with sense would know not to question their particular brand of authority. 
“It is, yes. H-Sir was helping me adjust before I came here. He is the best teacher.” Throwing in a bit of praise for the dominant had the desired affect, lips brushing her cheek in a chaste kiss. 
“What are your thoughts? It’s intimidating, isn’t it?” The woman from before asked curiously, though the hungry spark didn’t leave her eye until Harry spoke to her. 
“I’m not sharing her, Cara.” He said lowly, his hold tightening on her. “She’s not on the menu. Look but don’t touch.” There was a slight edge to his voice though it wasn’t hostile quite yet. Secretly, Y/N let herself preen over the possessive nature being shone through. Knowing he had no desire to let anyone else have a taste of her was beyond comforting- which, she knew was entirely ironic considering the context in which they met.
“Oh, boo.” She sighed. “You’re very beautiful. Harry’s not fond of sharing his chips either so I should have known, but there’s no harm in trying.” The demeanor shifted slightly to something lighter. “My girl likes to have playmates sometimes, but we’re a little picky.” 
Y/N could only imagine. If Harry expressed desire to add someone in for a scene she wouldn’t be too fond of letting just anyone in… but then again, she didn’t want to share in at all in the first place. It wasn’t a closed minded thing, more so the idea of someone else taking his attention away from her making her stomach ache. 
“It’s good to be picky.” Harry nodded. “But my girl isn’t up for shared scenes. I don’t think I’ll ever want to share her.” Fingers brushed over her cheek, still cool from his drink. “I don’t think anyone can blame me for being selfish with a beauty like this.” 
Heat flooded her body, a shy smile on her lips as she looked at him and watched his eyes darken. His pupils dilate. There was no question in her mind that there was truth to his words in this way she had just witnessed them, but it still felt unreal. “You wouldn’t want to share me either, would you?” The words had been softened just for her consumption, the moment being looked over by the others who began talking amongst themselves. For them, though, they were in their own little bubble. 
“No, sir.” The whisper matched his own volume, but the answer made him pleased. She could tell by the look on his face, lightening her own mood just by that alone. Y/N never knew how much she would truly enjoy this sort of thing, never understood how much Harry would change her life, but she was here now and it felt far more intense than one could imagine. 
“Then we’re settled, yeah? They can watch us, but m’not gonna let them touch you. Nor me.” The addition made her giggle, though it was cut off when he caught her lips in a soft kiss. Gentle pressings over her mouth, she counted three before he pulled back and rubbed over her chin. A wistful look followed, his eyes full of contemplation as he looked her over. Back and forth, his thumb swiped the remnants of the kiss before he let himself out of the mindset, leaning back into the booth. “Since you’ve had your greetings, I want you on your knees for me.” Reaching behind him he got a little cushion, dropping it on the floor. Spreading his legs out, he motioned for her to get between them. At least he was thoughtful with her poor knees. 
Y/N was weirdly excited for it. Slowly sinking down and settling with her heels touching her bum, she looked up at him expectantly as he watched her get settled in her new position. It felt… right, being here. Like this. Looking up at him as he spread his legs and looked down at her with a practiced patience on his face. “Sit quietly like a good girl. We’re going to go watch that show in a room in 20 minutes. If you can behave here, I’ll make sure you cum tonight.” 
Y/N knew what he meant. Not to provoke him and get him hard. As much as she wanted to do that, wanted to mouth at his cock and be a brat so he’d force it in her mouth,’or her over his lap to redden her ass, she wasn’t quite that brave yet. Tonight was to prove she could be a good girl for him, the best she could be. Maybe if she was good enough, he��d tell her that he was keeping her. 
Listening to his order, she rested her cheek on his thigh and closed her eyes as she found herself in the situation the other woman had been when they’d arrived at the table. His fingers sprawled through her hair as he talked quietly amongst friends, twirling tendrils between his digits as he got to the ends of it. Every so often the submissive could feel his eyes look down at her, which had her opening her eyes and smiling up at him. The pleased expression he had each and every time had her wondering if he knew what went through her mind. 
If he told her to break up with Danny? She probably would. If he confessed that he had feelings for her, that he wanted her as his real partner, submissive or not, she would release herself from the other relationship she was having major doubts about anyways and go to him. Belong to him seriously.
Even being on her goddamn knees in front of him at a kink club, she felt more appreciated than she ever had. Even when he called her a dirty bitch, a nasty whore, a cockslut, she felt more worshiped and heard and ultimately cared for than she ever had. Harry listened to her. There was never a singular time since they’d started this arrangement that he hadn’t thought about her wants or safety in great detail. He hand fed her fruit he sliced by hand after scenes, brought up juice to her mouth and whispered to her to have sips after he was finished ruining her body. He broke her apart, yeah, but he built her back up again. Even better than he had first found her, if she was being honest. 
Never in her life has she felt as heard, scene, and adored as she did when Harry gave her aftercare. When he texted her through the week to make sure she had a good day. When he asked her her favorite color the first day they met and made sure she had light pink straws in her drinks each and every time. Harry paid attention to her. Not just in scenes, where he seemed to pick apart her every reaction and know just how much she could handle, but last night too. He could feel her upset, did what he could to fix it. Proved yet again that he was the better option of the two.
What was stopping her? 
Fear. Not of Harry, not of Danny, but fear of losing this feeling. She’d end up alone again, wistful for this exact scenario where she knew she couldn’t get it again. No one else would be able to make her feel the way Harry felt in her body and her mind and that was fucking terrifying. Admitting that only to potentially be rejected was worse than staying in a bad relationship. Maybe she was a coward- she knew she was- but she needed his promise. His words. Too many times in her life she had been let down, let her heart hurt and chip and bruise. A rejection from him would shatter her heart and all the work she had put into mending it and the wall she had tried to build up to make her softness toughen up a bit would be inconceivably damaged. 
Times like tonight, meeting his eye and watching him tuck her hair behind her ear as she rubbed her face against his knee, she swore she could see the golden flecks of longing in his eyes too. When they were in bed after their scenes and his arms wrapped around her so he could haul her back into his body, she could feel inklings of something more under her skin. Even when he’d greeted her last night with a kiss in his driveway, a kiss she knew would lead to nothing sexual and just a genuine token of affection, she had felt that something was more with him. And yet she was frozen with fear every time she went to ask him how he felt about her. Terrified that he would reject her and their entire dynamic would be screwed. 
Little did she know, he had the same dilemma.
Watching her nuzzled into him, sitting so fucking perfect and pretty and meeting his eye with those gorgeous fucking smiles, she looked so content with him. Like she was made to be in this exact scenario. He’d never felt more proud of having someone on his arm, and yet she wasn’t actually his. He just wasn’t sure how much longer he could last without spilling those feelings towards her.
His holdback was the fact that she was the one in a relationship. She’d tried to mend things with Danny, but part of his confusion was knowing if she did it because she wanted to or if he had stupidly pushed that by trying to do the right thing about it when she expressed her resentment towards him. All he wanted to do was make the girl happy. It was only a few months of knowing her. He shouldn’t feel this much, so soon. 
Realistically he knew that it was likely because they shared such intimate parts of themselves with one another. This dynamic, lived in even if only on the weekends, was intense and serious and Y/N leaned into every bit of it with an eagerness only matching her nicknames sake. A puppy. So fucking sweet, she’d roll over and show belly if he asked her to right now, but instead she was content with her face on his leg and his hand in her hair. 
His mind wandered to what it could be like if she left the other man. If she walked away and went into his arms, let him show her how he could treat her so much better. What she didn’t know as well was he was still holding back a bit. Emotionally, more so.  
His heart felt like it was in his throat when he grazed his fingers past her cheek, watching her lashes lift off her cheek so she could give him her eyes. “You’re bein’ perfect for me, Pet.” He murmured, watching as she preened. His words always seemed to have a significant effect on her but the girl was slipping into a more submissive state with him here. It was his job to take care of her, to show her the things she’d been missing out on and desperate to experience. “Are you ready to go and watch?” 
“Yes, Sir.” She lifted her cheek from his knee and angled her head back, allowing him to tap his fingers over her chin and get a smile from her. Everything felt more loaded than they could talk about right now, but she was doing exactly what she needed to do. Falling into line so perfectly that Harry really didn’t have much he needed to correct. Pride filled his chest as he let himself smile back at her, nudging her to stand up. 
“Lets go then. Stay with me.”
—-
Y/N wasn’t sure what she expected in this scenario, but she knew there was nothing that would be realistic in her mind that could have prepared her for this night. Walking into the room where the scene had already begun, Harry held the back of her neck and led her towards a loveseat in the back. The throple on stage weren't paying anyone much mind, the room half full as the sounds of a masculine groan filled the air. The stage was lit with two doms and a sub, all beautiful in their own right. 
She stayed quiet as she waited for directions from Harry, eyes on him as he settled himself on the seat. He didn’t speak, instead grabbing her waist and turning her around to sit on his lap. Back against his chest, he spread his legs and hooked one each of her thighs over his own to sprawl her out. The position left her rather exposed too, but the thrill of it caught in her chest as she felt the thick of his cock against her ass and his arm wrapping around her waist. 
“Look at them.” He mumbled, keeping his tone quiet. “Watch.” With his chin against her shoulder, he slid his fingers over her thighs. Up and down, the touch slightly distracted her from the performance going on up the stage. It was becoming very apparent that her devotion to the Dominant was deeper rooted than she’d thought. All this time she’d been anticipating this, but all she could do was think about him and his hands on her. 
“How does it make you feel?” His lips grazed the shell of her ear as he looked towards the show himself. “They make a nice little show, don’t they? Is that something you’ve thought of?” In front of the girl on her knees stood the Domme and other Dominant. The Domme’s hands held a leather leash connected to the collar of the girl, wrapped around her fist as the other hand gripped the submissive’s ponytail to bob her head on the man’s cock. Y/N did her best to pay attention to the performance in front of her, the wet heat between her thighs getting more intense as his fingertips brushed up and down the exposed, vulnerable flesh of her inner thigh. Images of it being them flooded her brain, the barriers breaking as his lips nestled right underneath her ear, puckering just so. 
In her vision, there would be no Domme. The scene would include just him and her, his hand wrapped around the leash tight as a show of ownership. Her collar would be prettier, something more suited to her personally. Maybe a pink leather or more of a chain with a heart charm like she’d seen on one of the other subs at the table, but it would be one he picked out special for her. His fist would have her locks wrapped around it like a secondary leash, using her mouth and showing off just how much she could take. Ideally, it would be after she trained a bit more to take him deeper. She loved the idea of people being able to watch her, to see her take him down her throat. Being able to see how well Harry handled her, how she listened to him, the dynamic between them. Maybe at some point she’d be able to be a bit more bratty and get punished for it- having him fuck her throat as a punishment, or use his hand against her ass. 
“Hm? I asked you a question. Answer me.” He muttered, nipping the delicate skin of her neck. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head. Can almost hear it from here.” 
Y/N swallowed, leaning further back into him as she tried to unfurl her tongue to tell him. “I-I like it. I’m thinking about us up there, Sir.” Keeping her voice quiet to be respectful to the throuple, she tried to be loud enough for him to hear. It was hard with how shaky her voice felt, his fingers trailing over the edge of her humid panties. It was hard to think straight with him touching her, his scent all over and his mouth on her neck and the sound of the praises from the Domme, the submissive choking slightly on the Dominant’s cock. 
“You are?” He sounded intrigued. “Hm. I think you’d look pretty up there. What part of it is making your poor cunt wet like this?” Fingers tapped against the damp gusset of her panties, teasing with the light touch. It wasn’t enough to make her feel much relief, but the knowledge his hand was there was enough to make her swallow back a whimper. “I know you love my attention, but I’m starting to think you’re a bit more of an attention whore than I thought.” 
The light degrading made her dizzy, the arm around her waist lifting to grip her throat lightly. “Keep talking, Puppy. Quietly.” 
It was hard to keep talking but she tried her best. It was a little unnerving to realize just how much mental power he had over her, but she knew she was safe. Maybe she felt a little pathetic that such light touches had her in a tizzy, but this whole night had been edging, hadn’t it? This was the main event, watching people indulge in the taboo pleasures like it was a theater show while her own Dominant teased her over her panties. “I-I like that she has the collar n’stuff, and people are watching her choke on it.” She whispered out, breathing getting a little harder as he nudged her clit lightly with his thumb. Rhythmic back and forth, just a tiny hint of his touch but it was enough to make her want to buck into it. Harry was making her feel insane, but the entire thing was playing into it. 
Watching them on the stage, knowing other people were around that could see her being spread open and touched like this, the way Harry was hard under her ass, it all had her tummy hot and head fuzzy. “And I like that they’re bein’ a little mean to her. Makin’ fun of her, Sir.” Her tongue felt a bit too big for her mouth as she admitted to those things. The condescending teasing of the Domme to the Submissive each time she failed to take the full length down her throat had sent a zing to her cunt, imagining Harry calling her those names and giving the mean encouragement to get her to do her very best in front of all the other people. 
“Christ, you’re a whore.” Harry laughed incredulously into her neck. “You want to be degraded like that in front of other people? Because… I know for a fact you can’t take all of my dick into that throat. S’a bit too big and as cockhungry as you are, I think you’d be a little embarrassed about not being able to do what you should be able to.” The twinge of shame melted into arousal, his thumb nudging her clit a little harder. Was it a reward?  She didn’t know, but she didn’t want it to stop.“As for the collar…” Fingers uncurled from her waist , moving up to collar her throat. “I think a better one would be better suited for such a slutty puppy. Jus’ didn’t realize you needed to be leashed too.” 
His smallest finger went underneath the necklace that served as a collar for the night, tugging lightly at it. “You’d need to belong t’me properly for that. I don’t collar up just anyone, baby. Is that something you really want?” It was probably not the correct time to dip his toes into the question of a more serious arrangement, but he wanted to hear her answer. 
“Uh-huh. I want it so bad, Daddy. I can be so good for it, I’d love it.” Her whine was a little too loud, a coo leaving his lips as he lightly applied pressure at the sides of her throat to shut her up. The answer, the fucking eagerness of it had his cock twitching against her ass and his heart pumping a bit harder. Maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing, but the vulnerability of the moment had him doubting it was some sort of illusion. 
“Mm. We can discuss that when you’re not so worked up and soaking the pretty panties I got you. You need to keep your voice down, be respectful.” The warning was twofold. He had to table that conversion or he’d get his hopes up far too soon. The slip up of honorifics, though, had been intriguing. “I’m Daddy right now, hm?” 
“Mhm.” She attempted to nod as his fingers lightened their pressure. “Touch me, please. I’m achy.” Squirming slightly in his arms, another squeeze to her throat had her freezing in place before his other hand decided to ease down the waistband of her panties. 
“I don’t know how I feel about you making demands, Pet, but you’re making quite a fucking mess.” His voice dropped, feeling her pulse in his fingertips. “God, you’re gonna cum so fuckin’ quickly. I can feel it.” Y/N was drenched, his thumb finding her slippery clit to rub in light circles. “It’s a little too much for your filthy whore mind, isn’t it? Sitting at my knees, acting like the perfect little submissive for me… Seeing all those pretty people playing, dressed up so nice. And now Daddy’s brought you to a nice little show. You paying attention?” He urged her attention towards the show. “He’s gonna cum on her face, just like I’ve been dying t’do. Or are you more aroused at the knowledge that anyone can look over and see your pussy being pet like a desperate slut?”
Yes, yes, yes. All of the above, check all the boxes. Y/N would beg more if she could find it in her brain to talk, but it felt so good. The light grip at her throat making it slightly harder to breathe, how he was talking hushed into her ear and the vibrations made her feel even more squirmy, his fingers on her cunt, she just felt like she was dreaming. Like this was some sort of high before the ultimate one, looking to the side and catching a few eyes on her. She’d made a tiny bit of noise before, surely making people aware that she wasn’t behaving, but it felt all too real now. 
“And now you’ve gone dumb for me. I need an answer from you, Angel. Need a color before I make you cum.” He nudged her face to the side, lips resting against the corner of her own. “Color?” 
“Green. I’m so good, I-I…” She panted, eyes glazed but looking into his own. They were hooded, dark, and it was obvious in all ways that he was aroused too. He showed more restraint than she did, but he wasn’t unaffected by it all. “Sir…” With little thought to consequences, her own hand came up to the back of his head and pulled him closer so she could press his lips against his. 
Harry didn’t usually kiss in the club. He didn’t like them being seen in that way most of the time, feeling that those were supposed to be shared for more private and intimate moments- but Y/N had a way of making him throw a lot of his prior rules and regulations out the window. Didn’t she? He groaned quietly, licking into her mouth, trying to ignore the hot spark of arousal in his cock her hands tugging his hair closer to her had given him. For a moment, he gave in and enjoyed the taste of her tongue and the uncoordinated mess that was their kiss. He took the moment to slip two fingers into her cunt, curling them into her slick hole to get her to gasp. Hot and tight, he held back another moan at the feeling of her cunt fluttering around the intrusion. It was one of his favorite feelings, her breathing picking up against his mouth. 
The broad hand around her throat tightened again, making her eyes peel open again. Wet mouth illuminated by the red lights around the room, he panted against her open lips. “Remember your fucking place. You want a kiss? You ask. You aren’t in charge. I am.” He growled, trying to keep his voice down as he fucked his fingers into her. “I’m the one in charge. Not you. I choose if you cum or not, I choose if you get kissed or fuck. Your body is mine to play with. You’d do well to remember that, or you’ll be the next one on that stage.” He grinned maliciously. “And I’ve got a reputation to uphold. I won’t be as nice as I’ve been before.” 
Letting up on the grip, he swallowed her gasp with another kiss. 
It was moments like this that Y/N could see it. She could see this being her life, this being her night out with him. Instead of dingy bars with sports games she didn’t give a singular fuck about, she could be here watching shows and learning, she could have Harry’s fingers deep inside of her, his cock inside of her, whatever he chose, giving her pleasure that was immeasurable to what she’d ever known before. A literal wet dream came true. 
Y/N couldn’t respond, nodding lazily as the slick sound of her cunt being fucked with his fingers slicked up by her arousal became slightly audible. The throuple on stage was the loudest sound in the room, but underneath it all she could hear exactly what he was doing to her. It was humiliating to be this wet, to be this close to orgasm from a few minutes of his fingers thrusting in and out of her, a bit of choking, his whispers against her ear, a few people peering over at them and she loved it. His hand around her throat, keeping her tight to his body, and she felt the most free she’d ever been. 
There was an attempt to warn him, his fingers prodding right at her spot and her legs beginning to tremble as she squirmed slightly on his lap, but he could tell she wouldn’t be able to be quiet. He’d have to force her to be. “Let go. Make a mess on my fingers and be fucking quiet.” The dominant let her take another deep inhale before he returned his fingers to the sides of her neck, applying pressure exactly where she needed it to steal the rest of her breath. 
Y/N could see spots in her vision as she came. If he wasn’t stopping it, she probably would have sobbed out as she shook in his arms. Cumming hard and fast, hips bucking into his hand, his words cooed softly against her ear and brought up chills against her skin as the vibrations added to the sensations that tossed her over the edge. 
“There you go, stay nice and quiet. Cum all over my fingers, you perfect fuckin’ girl.” He coaxed, pressing them against that spot over and over again whilst his thumb rubbed her throbbing clit. She could feel the contractions of her walls around him, a deep breath being taken as he eased up on her throat to make sure she recovered, but he didn’t stop his prodding. “Work through it. People just saw that, yeah? Saw how good you are, amazing and how quiet you can be. Saw how beautiful you are when you cum for me. Such a precious angel.” Little kisses were pressed to her sticky skin, her mind pleasantly fuzzy and a little empty as his words soothed the orgasm that rocked through her body. “There we go, sweet girl. Y’did perfectly. Took your reward so well, yeah? You were made for this.” His praise added another layer of warm, fluffy comfort to the pleasant feeling that coated her body, the words echoing in her brain. All she could think about was how good she had been, how good it had felt. Good, good, good. She was a good girl and Harry was proud of her. “Gonna take you home in a few, baby. Just let you get a good cuddle in first, clean you up and sneak out of here. We’ll come back and you can see our new friends again.” 
This whole thing had pleasured her. Not just the orgasm, but the entire place. Her head had felt calm since she’d settled at Harry’s feet, quickly getting over nerves and settling into that feeling of correctness. Ease. It felt like she belonged here, even with the underlying anxiety. With anyone else but Harry she wasn’t sure if she would have felt that, but it had just been another experience he had made positive for her. Of course he did. He was perfect. 
He’d walked her through it, held her hand, helped her know what to expect but- She’d known she would like this sort of thing. Y/n had always thought about it, but actually experiencing it was a whole other beast. One she wanted to experience again, and again, and again- If Harry would let her.
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mcu-coworkers · 5 months ago
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A Weeks Time
Summary: The king brings you and Aegon together in hopes to mend his broken family.
Pairings: Aegon Targaryen X Targ. Reader
Notes: Hello everyone! In honor of the House of dragon season 2 I became inspired to write this little series. I hope you all enjoy the journey my mind takes me on.:)
Pt.2 Exploring The Prince
(I do not own this gif all characters are from the series)
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As a child my mother spoke to me of all the things she did in order to proceed as heiress to the crown. Her duty to perform did not come to her so easily but she became used to the attention, the obligations that came with attachment to the crown.
She told me the story of her first marriage to my father and the night of their wedding. In some ways I felt as if she was preparing me for something.
And in this thought I was right.
”When a girl comes of age, she is to be wed to a suitor my darling.” She said, smiling softly, “you have come of age.” She finished barely above a whisper.
With a confused smile I answered, “Yes I believe so mother but, with no suitor in sight.”
Briefly looking at me I notice her smile fade.
”Mother?” I push.
”The King has betrothed you already, you shall marry him at once.” She said rather quickly.
But not quick enough to save your ears.
Your breath hitched in your throat, who could he have chosen for me so quickly?
”At once? To whom?” I was finally able to form words again.
I ’d have felt more at ease if my mother hadn’t struggled so much to come out with the name.
Could he really be that bad? Surely my grandfather wouldn’t marry me off to just anyone.
”Aegon, y/n, You will marry Aegon.” she said, waiting for your reaction.
You thought hearing the news of a betrothed left you speechless but hearing who it’d be left you with your mind running wild yet thoughtless at the same time.
”Aegon? But mother we left for Dragonstone because he and his brother were trying to kill my brothers, now I am expected to marry him?” You all but yelled.
”We must put that past us Y/n” she sighed.
Aegon would not have been her first choice for you, but he was the Kings.
”Past us? Is it past them? Past Aemond?” You already know the answer. They hadn’t. And they never would.
Especially Aemond. He had it out for all of us.
”That I cannot be certain of but this can be a chance to mend that wound, we can be close once again, a family.” My mother said hopeful.
I couldn’t tell if she was trying to convince me or her.
”But why me?” I asked. Helaena was there, her and so many other suitors.
” You are my oldest, your grandfather sees you for your beauty, and it will do Aegon good to have a woman like you by his side, to help him mature.” She said as she took your hand in hers.
Aegon and his brother made countless rumors about your brothers because they did not display the traditional Targaryen look you all did.
Your silver hair is a contrast to the rich chocolate color of theirs.
You had heard things about Aegon, most you overheard and chose not to believe for the sake of your own peace.
The things people described are things you’d never seen personally.
To you Aegon was kind, gentle, and humorous. You’d never seen the man that gets credited for all of the crazy things you hear.
And you’ve heard them all.
”Alright, when shall I be wed?” You asked, ‘at once’ didn’t exactly specify.
”We leave for Kings landing tomorrow, you will wed him in a week's time by the end of the traditions.” She said standing from my bed and leaving the room.
I laid there taking in the news, I was betrothed to Aegon Targaryen.
Closing your eyes nervously for what’s to come, you wondered how he’d reacted to the news.
———
“Wed? Me? And to what whore did you happen to choose for me?” Aegon screamed in disbelief.
”Watch your tongue boy.” Viserys warned. “You are to be wed to Y/n, she will make a good wife.” He said catching breathe.
Aegon froze in place catching Aemonds eye.
”Father be rational we cannot mix our blood with theirs.” Aemond said, smirking.
”And why not? She is of pure Targaryen blood.” Viserys insisted.
”Is she?” Aemond asked. Pushing his father.
”Watch how you speak of my betrothed brother, she is to be my wife and you will respect her title.” Aegon said not once breaking eye contact.
Viserys smiled, satisfied with his son.
”She will be good for you, Aegon, be good to her, and put an end to this silly quarrel with her brothers.” He said as he began to walk away from his sons.
Once the king was out of sight Aemond was the first to break the silence.
”You can’t seriously be on board with marrying that bastard child?” He asked Aegon once again, this time hoping to get an answer he’d like.
” I warned you once brother, do not make me do it again, she is to be my wife I will not allow you to speak of her this way again.” He said as he walked out of the room and to his own chambers.
Truth be told the time you two spent together was his favorite, he saw your beauty from miles away, but your brothers kept him from ever pursuing you.
But now, nothing stood in his path.
Your brothers wouldn’t dare to challenge the king's decision nor would they want to upset you.
You were to be his and he to be yours.
And with that news Aegon found sleep peacefully eager for the next day to come.
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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months ago
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hi hiii its my first time ever asking anyone idk how this works ( ;`Д´)
i rlly love your writing, i often find myself staying up late reading through your blogs!! funny bcs u were the one who got me into jason todd (ФωФ)
anyways!!! i was hoping you could pls pls pls pls plssssss write smth about Jason Todd who has a lover thats a sleep-deprived uni student having a hell week and jason is like "bitch put google docs down and get some sleep, ur ass has been awake for 48 hours" all worried and wanting them to rest and reader is like "correction, 50 hours."
i hope it makes sense (´ 3`)
tyyyyy!!! woopee woopee
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Sorry this took so long to get to anon, I hope you liked it either way. And don’t stay up too late reading fics but I truly appreciate you reading my stuff, I’m glad you like them 🦦🐿️
A week.
An entire week Jason had noticed you have been forcing yourself to stay up at the dead of night, glued to your laptop all the while chugging energy drinks and cups of coffee as though they were going out of style, and for what? An assignment that determined your future at uni should you not get straight marks.
Jason thought it ridiculous that you made yourself sleep deprived over this but he knew that if he didn’t do anything about it, then you’ll continue this habit until you were well out of university, struggling to come to terms that you had well and truly burnt yourself out before you could properly start living.
So when Jason couldn’t fell you next to him in bed one night, like you promised him you would, and groaned as he got himself out of bed before making his way towards the kitchen where he’d knew you’d be.
‘What time do you call this?’ Jason asked when he saw you in your usual spot at the kitchen counter, hunched over your laptop with a thin blanket frapped over your shoulders and a can of energy drink on one side of the laptop and a cup of coffee on the other side. He hated what this stupid university has made you do just in order to get good grades, it was harmful, damaging and it would inevitably lead to health complications later on in life; If he could Jason would more then gladly march down there and threaten the professors to stop shoving a boatload of work onto their students, but firstly he has to get you away from that damn laptop and learn how to take a fucking break.
‘Mid-afternoon?’ You asked, not looking up from the bright screen of your laptop, where the words scrawled across it in an incoherent mess for your overworked brain to comprehend.
‘It’s actually 3:30 in the morning.’ Jason replied unamused as he crossed his arms over his chest and you winced when you saw that he was indeed right about it being three thirty in the morning. ‘Don’t you think it’s time that you shut the laptop off and get some sleep?’
‘But I-‘
‘Actually sleep.’ Jason cuts you off as you slumped back into your chair, unable to come up with a decent enough response to defend yourself with because deep down you knew Jason was right, you’ve hadn’t had a decent sleep in a long while and it was definitely taking it’s toll with how lightheaded you’ve become as of late.
You sighed and ran your hands down your face. ‘Jason I can’t, I’ve got-‘
‘An assignment to complete for tomorrow I know.’ Jason cuts you off again as he crossed the room to put his hand over the top of your coffee cup upon noticing that you were intending to take another drink from it. ‘But I look at you and can tell you can barely keep your eyes open for more than five minutes.’ He adds and upon your silence, he puts the cup aside as far as he could before doing the same with the half empty energy drink, and then finally shutting the laptop close despite your weak protests for him not to.
‘No, Jason my assignment, I need to finish it.’ You told him with slow, sluggish movements as you tried to pry his hand off of your laptop, all the while biting back a yawn. ‘Just give me five more minutes please and I’ll come to bed, promise.’
Jason had enough of this habit of sleepless nights, it ends now, the professors will have to understand and extend the due date for your sake as he remembered how often you had harped on about how important this assignment was for your overall grade; However Jason didn’t take neglecting your bodily needs lightly and would prioritise that over anything else,you could hate him all you wanted but he was only looking out for you and your wellbeing.
‘Sorry chipmunk but I can’t watch you do this to yourself for any longer than I already have.’ Was all Jason said as he then lifted you out of your chair suddenly causing you to yelp in surprise and cling onto him for dear life, now being more awake then you ever have been five minutes ago, as he then proceeded to carry you back towards the bedroom before unceremoniously dropping you onto the bed.
‘Jason, I seriously needed to get that assignment-‘
‘We are going to sleep, end of discussion.’ Jason said with finality as he crawled under the covers and quickly held you against his chest as tightly as he could, rubbing his hands up and down your back soothingly. ‘I know how important this assignment was for you sweetheart but I’d much rather have you well rested, clear minded and healthy than to ever to have you pass out in my arms from exhaustion. I want my baby happy and healthy and you are neither of those things right now.’ Jason whispers into your ear, kissing the side of your head a couple of times before resting his forehead against yours so that he was looking into your weary half lidded eyes.
‘Look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open.’ He spoke with worry laced in his words.
‘You’re really warm and comfy jay birdie.’ You murmured, feeling the need for sleep grow ever stronger the longer you stayed in his arms as it fogged your mind.
‘I know, so please we can talk to the professor in the morning and sort something out, but until then no more late nights understand?’ Jason said firmly as he held you a little tighter, he just wanted you to get a decent nights sleep and be looked after properly but all these late nights weren’t cutting it and were making your situation worse, how were you meant to get anything done when you were half out of it due to overworking and lack of a sleep schedule? Were the professors at your university thinking they were teaching robots instead of humans with breaking limits?
‘Okay I understand, I love you.’ You replied sleepily as you burrowed your head into his neck, falling asleep in record time as Jason stayed awake a little longer as to make sure you were properly asleep before following suit, watching over you in the dream realm as he did the waking one.
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raplinesmoon · 4 months ago
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원샷! (One-Shot!) - MYG X F!Reader
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Part 1.5: Half The Man
series masterlist
pairing: Doctor!Yoongi x Doctor!Reader genre(s): crack, fluff, angst (i'm sorry) au(s): medical AU, idiots-to-lovers (not quite yet) word count: 1.7k chapter warnings: cynical Yoongi, Jeonghan cameo!, hospital talk, artificial insemination and pregnancy, sperm for insemnation switched without readers’ knowledge/consent, Yoongi has no filter, mentions of previously regretful acts done while drunk, arguments, lots of unresolved feelings, did I mention they’re idiots (affectionate), rating: 18+
summary: As your pregnancy progresses, Yoongi continues to wrestle with his long-standing feelings, culminating in an argument that has you making an unexpected move.
a/n: Hi, thank you so much to everyone that has shown love to this series. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to upload the second part, I struggled a lot to continue writing this partly because of my own insecurity, partly because of other things (which I don't want to get into). But Doc!Yoongi is so fun to write! I hope you enjoy!
disclaimer: I do not own, or have any affiliation with BTS. Any similarity between the version of the idol(s) mentioned and portrayed here and their real life counterparts is purely coincidental, and does not represent the thoughts and opinions of said idol(s). Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. This specific fic is based on the 2010 movie The Switch, which contains sensitive themes relating to accidental artificial insemnation, consent, and pregnancy. Please do your research before engaging with this fic, as these themes may not be for everyone.
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The small splotch on Yoongi’s white coat, the byproduct of an accidental run-in with a very flustered Jeon Jungkook holding a very hot cup of coffee, had now turned into an unsightly bloom. Yoongi rubbed at the stain, cursing under his breath that he’d skipped laundry day this week.
To make matters worse, he’d gotten an impromptu page right in the middle of his lunch break. The three tiny beeps went off, and Yoongi’s face turned stark white.
“Oh no,” you gave him the most sympathetic look you could muster, your eyes turning misty. The pregnancy had thrown your hormones completely out of balance, the smallest inconvenience turning into enough to make you cry. “Jeonghan?”
“Jeonghan,” Yoongi sighs. 
The frigid air in Jeonghan’s office was nearly enough to rival the stare he currently possesses. Yoongi has to resist the urge to scoff. Yoon Jeonghan was the head of his department, full of pride with a face to match his inflated ego. A handful of years younger than Yoongi, he’d only gotten the position after Yoongi had turned it down multiple times, grumbling about how he was too busy taking care of real patients to deal with all the paperwork that department heads had to put up with. 
“I’m going to be very frank with you Dr. Min,” Jeonghan leans over his desk, a few stray papers falling to the floor. “You’re falling apart.” 
Yoongi bristles, shuffling his feet. He’d felt off ever since the night of your party, and even worse a few weeks later when you told him you were pregnant, all the memories coming back to him. He’d pushed it out of his mind, but clearly Jeonghan had noticed which meant it was affecting his work.
“Namjoon says you’re ordering X-rays and labs for your patients, but not coming up with any diagnoses.”
He straightens, heat coming to his face. “Dr. Yoon, I can explain—“
“No need, Dr. Min. The whole hospital knows you’re in love with ___. You don’t do a great job of hiding it.”
If there was ever a time Yoongi wished a sinkhole would open up and swallow the hospital whole, it was now (not that he’d thought about it before). Almost as if he can sense Yoongi’s sheer embarrassment, Jeonghan is by his side in no time, pulling up a chair to catch Yoongi’s unsteadily swaying figure.
“I’m too fucking sober for this conversation,” Yoongi groans, plopping into the comfortable cushion, Jeonghan looking on with an amused smile.
“That’s probably why Seungcheol also said he saw you throwing up in the hallway like a sorority girl the night of ___’s party.”
Yoongi cursed his stupid neighbour, who also happened to be one of the hospital’s charge nurses, for ratting him out. But then again, a free therapy session with his director was hard to come by, so maybe Yoongi would need to stop and buy Cheol a coffee sometime.
“He has a PhD from Harvard… HARVARD,” Yoongi whines, thinking back to the stupidly attractive man he’d met who was going to be your sperm donor.
“You’re just mad because ___ put you in the friendzone,” Jeonghan sighs.
“We put each other in the friendzone,” Yoongi interrupts, but Jeonghan waves him away.
“No, you had your chance six years ago when both of you started working here, and you blew it.”
“How did I blow it?” Yoongi questions, even though he knows exactly how – and what you’d say if he ever had the guts to ask.
“You went all Yoongi on her — it kills the vibes. You showed too much crazy too soon,” Jeonghan is moving around him now, picking up the stray papers, and Yoongi’s patience becomes thinner than the 11 blade he uses for procedures.
“Oh I’m sorry, did your extortionate divorce settlement teach you that?” He quips back, purposefully sliding his chair onto some of the sheets so Jeonghan can’t reach them.
“Yoongi, you sent me a picture of your armpit three weeks ago while I was in the middle of a surgery.”
“I thought I had a growth! You’re a doctor, you should want to help me!”
“Newsflash, Min, we’re all doctors in here.” And Yoongi knows Jeonghan’s right – he was eccentric, too much at times. But somehow, you never seemed to mind, from always having his back through his daily rants, to showing up at his apartment with a tub of ice cream after his call shifts so you two could make affogatos (Yoongi was nothing if not a caffeine addict).
He hears the door click shut behind him, and Jeonghan’s gone, leaving Yoongi alone with his thoughts, thoughts he’s had many times before. But somehow, it all feels different this time around. You’re pregnant with a child - his child, and you’re not supposed to be. It’s everything he’s ever wanted, and yet, he can’t have it because it would mean confessing that he’d messed up. And like Jeonghan, Yoongi much preferred to shut the door on things rather than let anyone in.
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The moan you let out is borderline indecent, and probably not something you should be doing in the middle of your best friend’s apartment. But you were four months pregnant, and the tangy spice of the kkaenip-kimchi Yoongi had prepared for you at 1am was the best thing you’d ever put in your mouth.
“My eomma would have a heart attack if she saw you eating unfermented kimchi at 1am, she says—” 
“The fermentation is good for the baby, I know, I know,” you finish Yoongi’s sentence with a pout. “But I wanted kimchi now.”
“You’re lucky I’m Korean. What if you didn’t have a best friend like me and your random kimchi cravings hit?” Yoongi chuckles, his gums peeking out from one of his rare smiles. The dim lights from the city skyline reflect onto the window behind Yoongi, casting a faint glow over him, and you feel your heart flip-flop, unsure if it’s from nausea or something else.
“I would have gone to H-Mart or something, or called up Seokjin,” you mumble under your breath, but Yoongi, the ever preceptive one between the two of you, catches your hushed response.
“You’re still in touch with him?” His face is pale, a far-away look in his eyes, and you feel your stomach drop, a lead weight settling on your chest.
A strange heat crawls up your spine, and you feel yourself flush at the iciness in Yoongi’s tone, wanting to defend yourself.
“Of course I am Yoongi. The whole point of doing this was so that I could have a donor that I’d be able to meet face to face, look him in the eyes, shake his hand —”
“What, are you going to marry him or something?” Yoongi cuts through your rambling, eyes blazing. “I thought the whole point of this was having a baby. I thought he didn’t matter.”
“Obviously he matters, but not like that, I just–” you trip over your words, unsure why you’re growing so frustrated. This isn’t what you expected when you’d called Yoongi up asking for kimchi. “Why are you being so weird about this?”
“I’m not being weird,” Yoongi’s back is to you, shuffling around in the kitchen. He is being weird, refusing to meet your eyes. “It’s just – what if you meet someone tomorrow? Or in six months? What if you fall in love? Isn’t that an important part of this?”
“This isn’t like you Yoongi,” you shove your bowl of kimchi to the side, wrapping your coat around your arm. Yoongi pales, watching you get up to leave. “I’m not going to spend my life waiting for some what-if. I didn’t exactly dream of this okay? It wasn’t like I was sitting there suffering through med school, just pondering the idea of putting an ad out for a sperm donor one day! But this is real, and it’s happening, and even though you’ll never say it, you think I’m making the wrong choice. You’re supposed to be my friend!”
Your voice breaks at the last sentence, eyes filling with tears. Yoongi had always been there for every stage of your life, through all your terrible dates and failed situationships. He’d been your one constant, but lately it felt like he was fading, purposely removing himself from your life the moment you’d told him you were going through with this.
“I think we need to take some time apart. We need a time-out,” you throw your coat over your shoulders, and Yoongi stiffens, a choked sound escaping him.
“Already learning how to speak mom,” Yoongi quips, but his signature Yoongi humour isn’t enough to quell the rage filling your body. You don’t spare him a second glance, turning on your heel, letting the door slam behind you before you fall apart.
Yoongi wasn’t just your friend, he was so much more than that, but now you weren’t sure if he remained anything to you at all.
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Jeonghan’s face is no longer smug when he breaks the news to Yoongi. You’re moving back home, claiming that the city is no place to raise a child. For once, Yoongi is thankful that the younger man doesn’t let his ego get in the way, opening the door to his office so Yoongi can lament in peace, the walls he’d built around his heart growing higher and higher. 
Two weeks later, you were gone. Yoongi stood with you as the moving trucks pulled up, watching you get choked up, the two of you barely having the guts to say more than a simple goodbye, for fear that you’d crack and say the wrong thing. 
Yoongi had always thought of himself as a mature, stable adult, but he fell apart at your leaving, feeling much like a child in need of constant attention. Your words ring back to him – a timeout. You’d left your friendship in constant purgatory – daily texts turned into once-a-week phone calls, which then turned into once-a-month emails, until you’d exchange Christmas cards once a year.
Seven years passed by in the blink of an eye - bringing with them two failed relationships, a stock market crash, a new roommate in the form of a poodle named Holly, and one phone call that changed everything.
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A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜
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rebelwrites · 11 months ago
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IM HERE FOR THE FLASH FIC!!
I’ve been craving some Jax Teller. I need something tender and sweet, but in character. Something to make me feel safe and wanted, but not simply desired. Idc what you write or how you do it because I know it’s going to be 👌
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You Aren’t Meant To Be Back Until Christmas Eve
Jax Teller x Reader
This is a flash fic so it hasn’t been edited. It’s also good to be back writing again 🥺
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It was the week leading up to Christmas and to say you were rushed off your feet was a complete understatement. This was your favorite time of year, even though your stress levels were through the roof, you practically lived off coffee and energy drinks and hardly saw your boyfriend Jax. You knew he understood why you were so absent in the run up to the festive season, the small bakery had queues running down the street from mid October.
Leaning against the stainless steel counter, you took a deep breath looking at the stack of cookie trays that were cooling waiting to be iced ready for the morning rush. Your body ached to where all you wanted to do was sink into a scalding hot bath, not moving until the hot water eased your aching muscles.
The sound of your phone echoing around the industrial supplied kitchen pulled you from any thoughts, you knew it would be Jax, it always was this time of night. No matter what time you were working he would always drop you a call to see how you were getting on, even when he was on runs with the club he would always make a point of calling you. Brushing the flour on the front of your jeans you grabbed your phone, quickly answering the call before pressing the device against your ear.
“Is it a late one again Darlin’?” Your boyfriend hummed, you could hear the tiredness hanging from his words, this last run for the club must have taken more of a toll on him this time.
“I think I’m still gonna be here come opening,” you sighed, letting your gaze fall to the countertop. “Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas and the bakery but I just want to spend time with you.”
“The money is nice as well,” he chuckled, causing the corners of your lips to tug into a small smile. You knew how much the bakery meant to not only Jax but the club too. This was one of the first legitimate businesses that was set up, Jax surprised you one day by showing the vacant lot and the new sign he had designed, from that day the “From Anarchy, With Love” bakery was born.
“How was the run?” You asked, pulling the phone away from you ear, putting in on speaker so you could be free to move around the kitchen.
“Long as fuck,” he groaned, you knew he would be running he hand across his face as he spoke. “I am so fuckin’ done with the muling, it is just getting more risky with each run,” he mumbled, with each word he spoke you could hear the pain in his voice.
Before he could carry on the sound of someone pounding at the front door gained my full attention. “Hold on baby, I swear someone is trying to put their fist through the front door of the bakery,” you huffed in annoyance. It was probably one customer trying their luck to see if they could get their order early. But that didn’t stop you from reaching into the cupboard by the doorway of the kitchen, grabbing my hand gun, flicking the safety off before tucking it into the bank of my jeans. One thing was for sure when it came to being Teller’s old lady, you was never without protection, whether this was in the form of a 9mm, a member of the club or Jax.
As you moved through the building, the knocking got louder and more persistent. “Bloody hell, don’t punch my door in, it never hurt you,” you scoffed, fishing the keys out of the pocket of Jax’s hoodie.
You felt myself fumbling with all the locks, once again thanks to Jax being over protective, soon enough the door was finally unlocked and the moment you pulled the heavy wooden door you dropped the set of keys on the floor as you saw your boyfriend leaving against the brick entrance.
“Hey Darlin’,” he hummed, quickly closing the gap between the two of you, engulfing you into his arms. The feeling of his muscular arms wrapping around your body caused all the stress to dissolve. “Fuck, I missed you,” he whispered against your hair, guiding you further into the shop before kicking the door closed with his foot.
“You aren’t meant to be back until Christmas eve,” you breathed, pulling back slightly so you could take in the look of your tired man. Somehow you freed one of your arms, allowing you to reach up brushing your fingers against his cheek. “Not that I am complaining nevertheless, what happened Jaxy?”
The fact you were greeted with a moment of silence told you everything, you knew things were rocky with Clay, no one knew the toll that everything was taking on the blond nuzzling his face into your shoulder. He wouldn’t let the outside world see him like this, but with you he felt he could let the walls come crumbling down, allowing him to process all the emotions he was feeling, and he knew his feelings would be taken seriously.
“Clay is going off on one again, his hands are getting worse and he has gone behind all of our back and the club is now in a deep hole with the cartel,” he had a wobble in his tone as he spoke, he was angry about the whole situation and I couldn’t blame him, I would be to. “I just needed my girl.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, to the world he was the vice president of a violent club but behind closed doors he was just a puppy wanting love.
“I know you need to work so I can’t take you to the Christmas market I know you want to go to but I have brought take out,” he hummed, holding up the plastic carrier bag you had completely missed when he first came into the bakery, “and I thought we could spend the night icing them amazing cookie, like we did when we were getting this place ready for the opening.”
Tears threatened to spill over your lash line, you had never been with someone who would abandon everything just because they wanted to spend time with you, even if that meant that they would be working till the sun came up.
“You know I want the cookies to be edible and sellable right?” You smirked, cocking your brow at him.
“Shut up and get your ass in that kitchen, Darlin’”
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@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @princess76179 @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @lmao-liz @babypink224221 @daddysgirl2857 @bravo-four-seal-team @garbinge @pedrohoe04 @littlekittymeow @nichia88-blog @zozebo
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peachhcs · 6 months ago
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where did it go wrong?
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
samy tries reeling with everything a few days after the breakup in hopes that her brothers may have some advice for her.
2.2k words
i feel like i never write anything with samy and her brothers, so here's luke and quinn trying to comfort samy through the breakup that she's still trying to understand. p.s. these breakup posts aren't going to be posted in a set order, so i may jump around in the timeline a bit :p
au masterlist
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samy flew home two days after the breakup. she didn’t want to crowd ryan’s house even when he told her she could stay for as long as she wanted (which in reality meant he wanted her to stay until her and will made up). the girl knew she needed to go, though. she wanted to be home with her brothers and family who she prayed wouldn’t give her shit when she told them what happened. she knew her brothers would want to give will hell, but samy had enough mind still to know that wasn’t fair. 
quinn, jack, and luke took themselves on a little fishing/camping expedition with their dad when samy got home, so she took those few days to just decompress and really comprehend everything that happened before those three bombarded her with a million questions. 
a tiny knock sounded on her door and then the heavy frame cracked open a few inches. ellen’s locks of blonde hair came in to check on her daughter. she knew she needed space, but mrs. hughes knew her kids well and when they needed her. 
“i made you some food downstairs,” ellen said gently. 
“thanks. i’m not that hungry right now,” samy managed a small smile even though they both knew it was fake. 
“how are you?” the older woman went to her daughter’s bed, sitting on the edge. the brunette shrugged. 
“i don’t know. weird? stupid?” a pitiful laugh fell from her lips. 
“oh, honey. you’re not stupid,” mrs. hughes wrapped samy into a tight hug which actually felt really nice. usually, samy wasn’t receptive to her parents’ touch, but right now she really needed it. 
“everything we’ve been through meant nothing to him. our friendship, ruined. i just..i don’t get what i did wrong,” the girl wanted to cry again despite her crying out everything she had the last two days. 
“no, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, baby. sometimes boys say one thing but they don’t actually mean it. maybe will’s just stressed about signing and it all came out the wrong way?” ellen tried. her words were genuine, but samy could never believe them knowing what her mom said was only trying to make her feel better. 
“it sounded like he meant everything he said. he couldn’t even look me in the eye, mom. i just..i feel so stupid and used,” her daughter’s words hurt ellen’s heart. the woman just squeezed her baby tighter in hopes that she could ease the pain that she knew all too well  being a teenager going through heartbreak. 
the hughes’ brothers came home that night. samy was fast asleep, but ellen kept herself awake in the living room having her late night tea. she smiled softly when all three of her boys came barreling into the room to greet her. 
“hey mom,” jack cheered, squeezing the older woman tightly. 
“hi, boys. how was your trip?” ellen beamed as she took turns giving out her “welcome home” hugs. 
“so great. we all caught massive 12 inchers. you should’ve seen them,” luke laughed as he dug for his phone to show the pictures. 
“they were massive! like this wide! never seen a fish so big like that before!” jack exclaimed before mrs. hughes quickly put a finger to her lips. 
“keep quiet. your sister’s asleep upstairs,” the boys immediately exchanged a glance. 
“samy’s here? i thought she was in boston for a few weeks?” quinn wondered. the look on their mom’s face quickly told them that wasn’t the case anymore and then the worry set in after. 
“it’s not my business to say, but your sister and will broke up,” ellen filled the boys in. 
a quick beat of silence passed between all of them before a “what” fell from luke’s lips. their mom’s tiny nod and wordless response told the boys that what they were hearing was in fact real. after that realization, their expressions twisted into shock. 
“wait, what happened? they broke up?” jack quickly asked for more details, but ellen shook her head. 
“i’m not gonna be the one to tell your sister’s business, but don’t bombard her tomorrow. she’s pretty beat up about it and i don’t want you harassing will either. let her tell you on her own time, promise?” ellen demanded knowing questions from them wouldn’t help.
the boys weren’t the greatest at minding their own business, but quinn, jack, and luke would comply since their own siblings rules were to not push one another into speaking about something if they did not want to. 
they just hoped this wasn’t as bad as it was sounding and their mom was making it out to be. 
the next day, luke found his sister first. he just woke up twenty minutes ago despite it being nearly 12 in the afternoon. as he trailed into the kitchen in search of food, he caught sight of samy sitting out on the back porch. the older boy debated for a second wondering if it was the right time to be asking, but he figured company wouldn’t hurt either way. 
he trailed outside with some cereal. samy gazed over at his warm smile while he took the chair next to hers. 
“mom said you guys caught big fish,” the girl began, managing a small smile.
“jesus, they were huge. i’ve never seen fish that big before,” luke laughed lightly. 
“i bet you dropped them,” the younger hughes teased making luke roll his eyes. 
“stop, i did not. you would’ve dropped them if you were there though,” the brunette smiled. 
“shut up,” samy rolled her eyes too. 
“wish you were there. would’ve been so fucking funny watching all four of us trying to camp together,” luke laughed again. his words made samy smile again before it slowly faded as her gaze fell on their yard. 
“yeah, me too,” she said quietly. her brother’s gaze fell on her as he studied her. he could tell how hurt she looked despite how much she tried hiding it. he didn’t know if it was appropriate bringing it up, but luke didn’t have to think much more because samy brought it up first. 
“i’m sure mom told you,” samy began. 
a small frown appeared on luke’s lips, “yeah..she did last night when we got home. i’m really, really sorry, samy.” 
“i don’t even know what happened. it looks like he doesn’t even fucking care after seeing his signing post,” the pictures dropped yesterday making will’s move to california official and the worst part of it all was how happy he looked in that fucking picture. 
“that can’t be true. he does care. he cares a lot about you,” luke tried. 
“not anymore, i guess. he said long distance wasn’t worth it for me and then everything between us meant nothing to him,” samy summed it up. luke’s jaw tightened hearing that. 
“he’s an idiot, samy. none of that is true, you know that.” 
all his sister could do was shrug because she thought she knew will like the back of her hand, but after what happened, she wasn’t quite sure anymore. he threw everything they had away just like that and now it looked like he was completely okay. a small sigh escaped luke’s lips seeing that he didn’t know what else to say besides how sorry he was for it. 
even he couldn’t believe will would do something like this. the boy’s known that kid his whole life and it looked like a lot was going to shift between everyone’s dynamic. 
“maybe you guys will be able to talk it out when july comes for the family vacation? like you guys just need some time apart or something to cool off a bit,” luke suggested a bit hopefully. 
“fuck, i forgot about that stupid vacaction. think mom would let me skip that?” samy groaned, head falling back out of frustration. 
seeing that reaction from her after samy always being excited for the hughes/smith vacation made luke realize how serious this breakup was. if samy was trying to get out of the vacation she’s loved for years, then maybe there wasn’t a chance of the two making up. 
“probably not, but i mean, it just happened. maybe things will feel different by the time july comes?” 
“are you for real trying to tell me how to feel about my boyfriend breaking up with me right now?” the younger hughes narrowed her eyes. 
“no, that’s not what i’m saying. i’m just saying that you guys were best friends. there’s history. that kind of shit can’t be thrown away that easily, no matter how much you wanna throw it away. plus, what happened to you guys staying friends even if you broke up?” the older boy inquired. 
“seems like that never mattered to him ever. this kind of thing can be thrown away, luke. just because we have history doesn’t mean it’s a fixer for everything.” 
luke backed off after that knowing he didn’t wanna argue with samy. Instead, he rubbed her shoulder in hopes that everything would work out and will and samy would be back to normal by the end of the summer. everyone had bumps in their relationships at one point or another. this was just a bump for the two. 
“if you’re out here to talk to me about my breakup, i’ve already heard it from mom and dad,” samy mumbled when she heard some footsteps behind her on the porch. they stopped momentarily, so she glanced over her shoulder to quinn frozen in place with two bowls in his hand. 
“i was just offering you some ice cream. i just picked it up,” the oldest hughes held the bowl out. samy studied her older brother for a moment as her expression softened out a bit. 
the breakup had made her a bit more meaner than she was before when she didn’t necessarily mean it. 
“oh, sorry. thank you,” she smiled. 
quinn took the spot beside her on the stairs as he handed her the bowl. the two didn’t speak much as they slowly ate their ice cream together and enjoying the sun slowing setting for the night. 
it was known that quinn wasn’t the one to pry into his siblings feelings. he always let them start speaking first if they even wanted to. the oldest hughes sat in the back more just happy to keep them company. they could hear jack and luke yelling at one another from the living room inside where they battled over some video game—one’s samy hated and quinn was a bit too old for. 
the comfortable silence lingered for a bit longer before samy decided to speak, “be honest with me quinn, do you think he was gonna break up with me all along?” 
her question caught the dark-haired guy off guard. he wasn’t expecting her to bring it up considering the two didn’t talk about feelings in this way with just each other before. 
“god, no. i never thought you guys would ever break up,” quinn said honestly. 
“then why do you think he did? i’ve been trying to run over every reason since i got home and i just..it doesn’t make sense to me,” samy frowned which in turn made quinn frown too. he always hated seeing his siblings sad. 
“when i was your age and got drafted i remember i had about a thousand thoughts running through my head at the idea of moving so far away from home at some point. the idea scared me, honestly. i’ve never been away from home like that. sometimes when people are going through these big changes, they make rash decisions thinking it’s for the best when it’s actually not. there’s a chance will could’ve been feeling..overwhelmed? scared? everything just came out the wrong way? i know those aren’t excuses, but big changes in people’s lives make them a totally different person,” the oldest hughes answered honestly. 
in some ways, he knew all too well about those feelings will could be feeling. moving to a new state anywhere far away from home sent a lot of anxiety into people when they didn’t even realize it. 
“i guess. i just feel so stupid. like why didn’t he talk to me more? why did he just choose this option first,” the girl mumbled. 
“it’s hard to say. i’m sorry this happened. breakups are the worst.” 
“how do you get over breakups?” samy wondered hoping quinn had some expert older brother advice that might make her feel better. 
“well, i’d usually head to the rink and shoot pucks around until i nearly broke my stick. i think getting any of your anger out is the first step to anything, then your mind will become a little more clear without the angry, rash decisions that you were just thinking of in the moment,” samy wondered why she didn’t go to quinn more often for advice. 
“okay mr. wise guy. i forgot being 24 makes you wise because your brain finished developing,” the brunette teased a bit earning a small eye roll from her brother. 
“i guess. i’m always here for you, yeah?” he nudged her leg with his own and samy nodded. 
“yeah, thanks quinny,” the siblings sat there for a little bit longer together with samy’s head on quinn’s shoulder. it wasn’t often they got to spend time together by themselves, so samy would savor it while she could before her oldest brother got whisked away again for hockey. 
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ham-st4r · 2 years ago
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𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐌𝐞 (𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨) - 𝐋. 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠
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❥ pairing: heeseung + female reader!
♪ warnings: smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, oral male receiving, rough make-up sex, lover's to ex's, verbal abuse, break up, cursing, crying, arguments, angst, alcohol
♪genre: smut, fluff, angst, drama, lover's to ex's
♪summary: here!
♪number of words: 13,316k
Find your way around!
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Hi, hi, this is my most recent work. Nobody gets me. It’s partially based on the song by sza. I was just listening to the song, and I got inspired to write this anyways. I hope you all enjoy it. I worked hard on it, and I’m happy with the way it came out. It’s long, but I hope you’ll be patient and make your way to the end. With that being said, please leave feedback and reblog it always makes my day to see someone complimenting me on my work.
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You couldn’t believe it. After all the hard work you put in, it was finally starting to pay off all the sleepless nights, the days you didn’t feel like getting up and recording or writing, all the times you’d spend cuddled up in your boyfriend’s arms crying to him cause no matter what you did, you never felt like it was good enough.
It was all finally over, and with the help of your loving boyfriend being with you every step of the way and cheering you on from the sideline, you had finally been signed by a label, and you recorded your very first single.
You and your boyfriend, heeseung of seven years, held hands as you listened to your song play on the radio for the first time since your official debut. You both sang along softly to the lyrics, and he turned to glance at you with a fond smile cherishing this beautiful moment with his most favorite person in the whole wide world.
He wiped the few tears that trickled down your face with his thumb while the last few seconds of your song played. “I’m so proud of you. I knew you’d make a hit. I never doubted you for even a second” His soft voice comes out in almost a whisper as the song comes to an end, and the soft piano fades out.
You grabbed his hand that was placed on your cheek and brought it to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to it. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” you tell him sincerely. You can’t even remember how many times you had just thought about quitting, but he never let you cause he believed in you when Nobody else did, and he reminded you of that every single day.
He pressed the button, turning off the radio in his beater that had been getting him to point A to B for the last four years, and pulled out a green velvet box from his jacket. “And I could have never done this thing called life if it wasn’t for you” He smiled with tears gathering in his eyes. You were literally his everything since the day you met at the restaurant he worked at. He remembered the day clearly. It had been unusually busy, and order tickets were stacked. Unknowingly, he accidentally cooked your steak rare instead of medium rare once the waiter brought the food back and told him it was wrong. He felt terrible for messing it up. He took his job very seriously, so he prepared what was probably the best steak he’s ever made and specially hand delivered it to your table, apologizing over and over again before scurrying off back to the kitchen about twenty minutes later, his heart sank when the waiter called his name, he thought he had messed up another order. But he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the words the waiter spoke. “Table number 7 said that your steak was the best she’s ever had and wanted to thank you for your hard work with a one hundred dollar tip” For the rest of the hectic night, heeseung worked hard with a smile on his face, and when he saw you come into the restaurant a week later, he knew then, and there you were the one, it was like you somehow knew he was having the worst day of his whole career and like magic, you came by and made it the best by giving him the tip of a lifetime and he just knew from that day on he needed you in his life and even though he was on the clock he made sure to get your number while sneaking you a special dessert (one that wasn’t on the menu)
You teared up once again when you saw him open the box as he held your hand from across the beat-up dash in his car. “Heeseung,” you said in absolute awe.
“Y/n, you’re my whole world, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life and to be able to call you mine. Words just aren’t enough to express how I feel about you,” he said with a shaky breath, the first tear finally rolling down his cheek. “And even though I tell you every day, I just want you to know that I love you, and I’ll never stop loving you. It’s been a really tough past couple of years for us, but I wouldn’t want to spend those years with anyone else 'cause Nobody gets me like you” His lips upturned into a small smile when he saw the surprised look on your face. "I know I'm not perfect, but I promise I'll love and take care of you until the end of time" He turned the small box showing you the ring. It wasn’t big, it wasn’t fancy, and the diamond wasn’t the size of a rock, but it was enough for you cause you knew he was proposing to you from his heart, and no ring could ever compare to the amount of love his heart held for you. “I’m so proud of you, and I’m so happy that I have someone as special as you in my life” He smiled as more tears cascaded down his pretty face. “So,” he looked at you with nothing but pure love and adoration in his eyes, and with one last shaky breath, he popped the question. “Will you marry me?”
You sat there in silence, unable to understand how you were so blessed to have your debut song played on the radio and the love of your life proposing to you all on the same day. Without a doubt, this was definitely the best day of your whole entire life, and you’d never forget it, not in a million years.
He felt his heart drop the more seconds that passed, and you didn’t say anything after a while. He took your silence as apprehension, so he tried to reassure you that he was the one for you. “I-I know your parents aren’t fond of me, and I need a new car, and I need to buy a house, bu-“You cut off his rambling and kissed him. He kissed you back immediately without any hesitation.
“Yes, yes, heeseung a million times yes!” he chuckled breathily and grabbed your shoulder across the cup holders bringing you closer as he locked lips with yours.
You pulled away, leaving just the tiniest gap between the two of you. “I want to marry you. I don’t want anybody else but you, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about you cause you’re all I’ll ever need” He leaned his forehead against yours, his warm breath tickled your nose as he distanced himself from you, and took the silver diamond embedded ring out of its little box.
His hands were shaking with nerves and excitement, and so were yours as he slipped it onto your ring finger. “I love you so much” He held your hand in his, tracing the ring with his thumb as he smiled at you.
“I love you too” You squeezed his hand and squealed in excitement.
He rolled down the window, and you looked at him in confusion cause it was literally cold and raining outside. “She wants to marry me!” He screamed proudly out the window catching the attention of the people passing by, some smiling and others giving him weird stares, but he didn’t care. He just wanted the world to know that you were his now and forever.
“Oh my god!” You giggled and cupped your hand over his mouth.
He grabbed your wrist and guided your hand to cup his cheek as he smiled widely. “My fiancée,” he leaned in to kiss you some more, and neither of you bothered rolling up the window, too lost in the moment and the softness of each other's lips to care about anything else.
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Everything was going great since the release of your hit single you and heeseung finally got some free time and were now cuddled up on a small couch in your studio apartment, currently talking about your wedding and everything you should get and who to invite.
“I’m going to make sure our wedding is perfect. I promise” He kissed the crown of your head, holding you just a little bit tighter.
“We should get little mini me’s, and you’s on our cake” His chuckle filled the otherwise silent apartment, and it made your heart melt. You loved the sound of his laughter. No matter how bad of a day you had, his laugh could always make it all better.
“That would be cute,” he said as he envisioned it. He could see everything slowly coming together the more and more you both planned and talked about it.
You looked up at him and pecked his lips sweetly. “I was thinking about planning it for this summer,” he said a little reluctantly. He knew it was soon, and he didn’t want you to feel pressured, but the timing to him seemed perfect.
“Really?! I always wanted to get married in the summer since I was a little girl,” you said as you felt the excitement rising.
“Then I guess that’s settled,” he says with a smile as he plays with the ring on your finger.
You both sigh in contentment, enjoying each other’s company until the loud ringing of your phone breaks the peaceful moment.
“I’m not answering that,” you say, snuggling up closer to your fiancé and hugging him tighter, not wanting to leave his warm, comforting embrace for one second.
“But baby, that might be Steve. You’ve been waiting on him to call for a while now,” he says, knowing how badly you’ve been wanting to get an opening gig, and this phone call might just be you finally getting that chance.
It’s a good thing you had heeseung cause he was always the logical one out of the both of you.
He moved his hands off of you, allowing you to take the call. “I’ll be waiting” He smiles at you softly.
You finally get up to answer it, and he was right. It was your manager, Steve, and as exciting as the news was, you couldn’t have gotten it at a worse time.
You hang up and trudge back over to heeseung, who was patting his lap with a tired smile on his face. “Was it him?” He asks excitedly as he wraps you back in his arms again.
“Yes,” you mumble into his chest.
“I take it the news wasn’t any good…” he muttered with a sad tone.
“The news was great” He leaned back and looked at you, confused.
“Then why the sad face?” He asks while stroking your cheek.
“I got invited on tour to open up for a well-known group, and they said I’d gain a lot of experience and a bigger audience.” You explained.
“What?! Baby, that’s great news! I’m so happy for you!” you knew he’d be excited for only a moment before you broke the terrible news to him.
“It’s a summer tour, and it’s this year, and we were going to have our wedding in the summer this year….” You said sadly, and you watched his smile lessen until it was nothing but a frown.
“Oh….not great” It was silent for a few minutes before he was being the heeseung you knew, always trying to turn a bad situation into a good one no matter how terrible the circumstances were. “Look at me, love. I’m not going anywhere, okay? We can have the wedding next year” He cupped your cheeks and made you look at him, smiling at the little pout on your lips. “And besides, this is your career we’re talking about. Sure, I would love to call you my wife and be your husband, but you know what, I would love just as much?” He asked with a smile.
“What?” He squished your cheeks and kissed your pout away, replacing it with a smile.
“To see my fiancée living her dream and performing in front of millions of people after knowing what it took to get here, seeing you perform for the first time on stage, will be the happiest day of my life.”
Tears had welled in your eyes, and not a day went by where you weren’t grateful for him. He always knew just what to say to make you feel better.
He was literally perfect.
He wiped your tears before they got halfway down your cheeks. “No more crying in the studio,” he said as his voice cracked slightly. “We’ve done enough of that already” He released a heavy breath while hugging you tightly in his arms.
“Yeah, okay,” you whispered and smiled past your tears. “I love you so much I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
“I love you too, and don’t even think about it cause you’ll never be without me.”
You held each other in silence, enjoying the rest of the time you had left until the tour started.
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You had been preparing everything for your upcoming shows rehearsing over and over again to make sure everything was perfect. After all, this was your first time performing on stage, and it had to be nothing but the best, no less.
“Baby, you’re going to do so good,” Heeseung startled you. He had been watching you from afar after quietly entering the studio with the spare key that you had made for him on your one-year anniversary. He had just got off of work and came to the studio after cooking you both dinner before he left the restaurant.
“Hee!” You squeal, taking off your headphones and running over to him, peppering his face with kisses.
“Hello to you too, baby,” he chuckled and set his bags down before picking you up and kissing you as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. “You miss me?” He said on your lips, teasingly swiping his tongue along them.
“I always miss you,” you whined into the kiss, and his hands moved down to your butt, squeezing it as he groaned from the feeling of your plump lips pressing against his.
After a hard day of work, feeling your lips on his was nothing short of heaven.
“Me too,” he released a breath and opened his mouth, letting your tongue explore every inch of him, but before you two got too carried away, he broke the kiss and set you back down after pecking your lips one last time. “I made us dinner,” he smiles, and you can see the exhaustion all over his features even though he tried his best to hide it, but nothing could get past you. You’ve known him for 8 years. “It’s been a while since you left the studio, and we had a date, so…” he let go of your waist and picked up the bags he brought, pulling out a bottle of your favorite wine.
 “I took it upon myself to bring the date to you” He wiggled his eyebrows with a goofy smile.
“What did I do to deserve you?” You hugged him by his waist.
He set the bottle down and copied your action. “Oh, I don’t know,” he pretended to think. “But if I had to say, it’s probably because you’re the best person to ever walk this planet, and you deserve nothing but the best.”
You couldn’t believe it even after years. He could still make you feel butterflies with his effortless compliments.
“I love you so much. Did you know that?” You ask, playing with his little cravat.
“I do, but If I didn’t, I know you’d just remind me every day anyway” He pecked your forehead. “I hope you’re in the mood for steak,” he says.
“I’m always in the mood for steak,” you smile brightly. That was the first meal you both shared on your first date together. Of course, you’d always be in the mood for steak cause it always took you back to that wonderful day.
“That’s my girl. Now go sit your pretty butt down while I get your dinner.”
“No, I’ll do it.” You insist. “You just go sit and rest, okay?” You could see he was hesitant at first, but he quickly gave in cause his feet were killing him, and he was more than exhausted from picking up extra hours.
“Fine, but just this one time” He took his chef jacket off and hung it up at the door.
“That’s my boy,” you say, mimicking his words from earlier with a smile. As soon as he turned around, you took the opportunity to pat him on his butt.
“Y/n!” He squeaked and spun around, looking at you in shock. You’d never done that before. “What was that?” He asked, and you could see him blushing.
You just shrugged with a smile, and you would definitely be doing that a lot more from now on to see his cute little reaction.
During dinner, you both chatted about your jobs and how he’d been working late shifts and taking extra days.
No wonder he looked so tired, you thought.
You guys weren’t together as often as before with all the preparations you were doing for your tour. You didn’t get to keep up with the happenings, so when you did get together, the last thing you wanted was to talk about work, but luckily tonight, you both had the night to yourselves to talk about any and everything. “You should take a break, babe” He shakes his head slightly, dismissing your comment drinking the last bit of wine from his glass.
“I can’t. With the wedding coming, I need as much as I can get, you know that baby, plus I still need to save for a new car,” you just sighed.
“Hee, I make enough money for the both of us now we can live comfortably, so why do you insist on working?”
“Cause it shouldn’t be that way!” He raised his voice in frustration, not with you but with himself. “I’m supposed to take care of you, and I can barely take care of myself. Your parents even said it I’m a deadbeat that's no good for you, so to change that, I have to show them that I can provide for you that I can provide for us.”
As soon as he said that, you knew this was about way more than just making money, and he was dealing with more than he was letting on.
You pushed the empty plates aside and sat next to him on the couch, looking at his apologetic face. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell, okay baby? I’m just a little stressed. Lately, that’s all” He put his hand on your knee, squeezing it softly. “I won’t do it again,” he promised.
“I know, it’s okay, hee” You rubbed his back soothingly, and he closed his eyes, exhaling a deep breath. “Lay back” He looked at you confused, but when he saw you weren’t saying anything else, he laid back slowly with his head on the armrest of the sofa. “Feet up” He did as you said and placed his feet on your lap, but he was still skeptical of your motive. “Just close your eyes and relax,” and he did, too tired to question your intentions anymore.
A low hum settled in his chest as you slowly massaged his feet, rubbing the balls of each calloused foot.
You gently pinched his heel and rubbed it up and down, adding slight pressure to soothe away any aches and pains. “That feels….” He trailed off, not being able to find the right word to describe how good it felt. You chuckled lightly and continued massaging him.
Your hands trailed up to his long legs, rubbing the taut muscles of his calves.
He felt shivers all over his body from your gentle, loving touch.
You moved to his thighs as you felt them tensing under your palms. “That feels good,” he breathes out, and you smile as a warm feeling spreads across your chest as you watch him start to relax the more you caress his tired aching body.
“Turn over for me” He quickly flipped over and rested his cheek on the backs of his hands, waiting on your next move.
You put your hands under his shirt, gliding your fingers all over his back. “I know that you’re stressed, and I know you’re dealing with more than you’re telling me” He tensed up when you said that, and you sighed. “I just want you to know no matter what, I’m here for you, so don’t stress yourself out too much, okay?” you could instantly feel him loosening up again from your reassuring words, and it warmed your heart that you could be of assistance to him when he was feeling low.
“Okay, thank you, love,” he whispered, and that’s all you needed to hear from him right now. You were going to let him open up to you when he was ready.
“You have so many knots” He chuckled loudly at that but winced when you pressed down a little too roughly to massage them out. “Sorry,” you said in a tiny voice.
“I think since you hurt me, you should make it better” You rolled your eyes playfully even though he couldn’t see you. You lifted up his shirt and leaned down, placing a few kisses there as his breath hitched in his throat.
“Better?” You asked.
“Much better” He squeezed onto the cushion under him, eyes rolling back in his head, and he might have been enjoying this a little too much as he felt himself getting more and more turned on by the second.
After successfully working out the knots in his back, you told him to roll over on his back once more. “Ooh, what’s next?” He said giddily.
“I’m glad you asked,” you smirked. “Take off all your clothes now,” you said sternly, and the look on his face was completely priceless as he was trying to register what you had just said.
“What? W-why?” He laughed awkwardly and avoided eye contact with you. “I mean, a-are you sure? I haven’t even had the chance to showe-“
“Less questions, more doing” He stood up and quickly got rid of his shirt and pulled down his zip before dropping his pants.
“Those too,” you said after looking at his cute, questioning face.
“Okay,” he whispered and took a deep breath feeling overwhelmed by your sudden boldness as he freed himself from the tightness of his boxers, his dick standing up right away from how hard he had already gotten.
You bit your lip at the sight of him. Even after eight years, he still managed to amaze you in every single way.
He laid back down on the sofa as you sat between his legs, gulping loudly while watching you run your fingers over his tense abs.
He put his hands behind his head, biting on his lip softly when you kissed his thighs, and somehow, just that little bit was enough to make him impatient.
“Baby… I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I can wait” His dick twitched at the same time the words left his mouth. As much as he wanted to see what else you had in store for him, he’d have to find out another time cause, right now. He couldn’t wait to feel your mouth around him.
“Don’t apologize, baby, just relax tonight is all about you” You kissed his tip, a string of clear precum creating a connection between your lips and his pinkish tip.
You licked his warm shaft running your tongue along the protruding veins. “Shit baby, you always know how to make me feel so good” His stomach was tensing with every wet lick and swirl of your warm tongue.
Wordlessly you locked eyes with him and took half of him in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down slowly.
“Oh fuck” he whined, eyes rolling back in his head immediately. It had been a while since you and him both got to spend intimate time together and just being like this with you after so long was like a dream come true.
He really missed this. He missed the feeling of your loving touch, and he missed being able to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much you mean to him in the privacy of your bedroom.
You used your other hand to stroke what couldn’t fit down your throat, and his moans increased in volume as he impatiently bucked his hips up, gagging you when he did so. “Sorry, it just feels so g-good,” he moaned, chest heaving up and down as he opened his eyes and stared down at you sucking him nearly all the way in while your hand made its way to his balls, cupping them gently just the way you knew he liked. “That’s it, love, just like that.”
You hummed around his shaft as he slid further down your throat till your lips were stretched around his thick base.
He moved his hand from behind his head, stroking your cheek lightly, before placing it on the back of your head, not to guide you but just so he could feel closer to you. “I’m so close,” he whispers shakily while feeling his tip hitting the back of your throat as you hallowed your cheeks.
Seconds later, you could feel his warm liquid invading your mouth and trickling down your throat. You kept your head still as he bucked his hips up and unknowingly gagged you again, causing you to tighten up around him. “Fuck baby,” he releases a low growl as you feel the rhythmic pulsating of his cock on your tongue.
You sucked him through his high, careful not to hurt him, knowing how sensitive he always was after cumming.
He watched you pull off of him as he caught his breath. He cupped your cheek with his palm and wiped the remaining cum off the corner of your lips with his thumb. “That was wonderful,” he chuckled breathlessly.
You smiled at him and leaned down again, kissing his abdomen to his stomach and all the way to his sweaty chest, stopping and swirling your tongue around his perky nipple while your free hand flicked the other hardened nub.
His little whimpers turned you on like crazy, but you ignored your pleasure cause right now, everything was about him and him only, and besides, his pleasure was your pleasure anyways.
He clutched onto your shirt tightly as you switched to his other nipple pulling it between your lips gently.
You could feel him arching up into you as he hugged you tightly to his body. “Y/n fuck, I need to feel you now,” he cried out, and you knew when he said it like that, he meant right this instant.
“I’m all yours,” that’s all he needed to hear, and then he was leaning up and taking you in his arms to the shower as you sucked and kissed all over his beautiful neck.
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After your intimate time in the shower, he ran a bath for you both.
He was lying in the tub with hazy eyes, slowly stroking your shoulders and drawing random shapes on your skin, occasionally covering you with the suds from the bubbles he added.
“I’m serious, you know?” You brought up the conversation from earlier, and you heard him sighing behind you as you clasped your hand with his. “Just think about it for me, please?” You scooted closer to him, and he held your waist with his other hand.
“What exactly are you asking me to do, baby?” he kissed your neck sensually, and you tilted your head to the side, giving him access to nibble and gently bite your skin.
“I’m asking you to quit,” you put it simply as you reached your hand behind you and pulled him closer by his neck as he sucked even more hickeys on your skin.
“You know I can’t do that,” he mumbled, too occupied with kissing you to respond with a longer explanation.
“You can and you will. I can’t stand seeing you so tired, hee, you know that”
“I know, I know” He moved his head next to yours and spoke lowly into your ear. “Okay,” he caved in, but he knew you were right. He could work for ten years straight for seven days a week, but if he stayed at that dead-end restaurant, it still wouldn’t be enough to give you the life he wants you and him to have.
“Don’t worry about a thing. I have us, okay?” You reassured him, and it would be hard for him to accept that for a while but with you, he knew everything would be okay.
“Okay,” he nibbled on your ear lobe, using the tip of his tongue to lick the shell of your ear. “Well, since I’m now jobless, I think I have an idea of what to do with all this free time.”
“Yeah? Tell me all about it.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell you everything when we get to the bedroom.”
You chuckled, blushing at his little insinuation. You knew neither of you would be getting any sleep tonight.
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“Morning, my love,” heeseung whispered in the quietness of your bedroom.
“Morning,” you greeted him back groggily with your morning voice.
“Last night was great” His smile reached the corner of his eyes, creating those little wrinkles on his face that you loved so much.
“It really was” You brushed some hair out of his eyes and stroked his cheek.
“What are your plans for today, Hmm?”
“Recording, recording, and more recording,” you sighed.
“Right,” he frowned. He wasn’t taking this time apart well at all, you were literally his everything, and without you, he couldn’t help but feel like a piece of him was missing. “Don’t worry too much, alright?” he kissed the hand that was resting on his cheek still. “I heard you last night. It was beautiful” He kissed your forehead sweetly.
“Really?” You asked with puppy eyes.
“Really” He smiled but frowned when you got out of bed.
Your eyes had landed on the clock, and you were almost late for your studio session today. “On no, I’m gonna be late” You rushed out of bed and messily grabbed some clothes.
“I can drive you,” heeseung offered, about to stand up, but you pushed his chest so he could lie back down.
“I’m gonna be gone till midnight. My schedule is completely packed. You just rest till I get back, okay?” you kissed him when he tried to protest, and he just flopped back down on the pillows.
You quickly did your hair and freshened up in the bathroom. “Bye, babe,” you said before bolting out of the door, not even giving him a chance to say it back.
“Bye, I love you,” he mutters to himself. “What am I gonna do now?”
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Heeseung did absolutely nothing all day but sleep until he felt the bed dip down as you wrapped your arms around his waist.
The clock read 2:17 am, and his heart ached for you as he hugged your tired body closer to his chest. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered to you.
“Night, hee,” that’s all you could say before you both fell fast asleep.
Things went like this for the next couple of months, you coming home late, and heeseung was left at the apartment alone, and lately, the tension between you and heeseung grew over just the littlest things. You both had been exhausted him emotionally while you physically, and when he took it upon himself to clean your desk in the studio cause he was bored, that just opened the door for an argument to ensue. Although that was far from his intention, he just figured instead of being lazy while you were out winning the bread, he could at least surprise you with a tidied up workspace.
But apparently, that wasn’t as good of an idea as he originally thought.
“I don’t understand why you would even touch it,” you say, annoyed you had come back early from rehearsals, and nothing was the way you had left it, and now you couldn’t find your lyric sheets. “Can you do anything right?” You said irritatedly.
“Love, I’m sorry I just wanted to do something nice for you, that’s all,” he mumbled, feeling guilty that he messed up your things. “I put it in the top drawer with the rest” He could have sworn he did.
“If you want to do something nice for me, you can get out of my sight. I leave soon, and now I won’t have time to pack or practice cause you had to do something stupid,” you snapped.
“I can pack for you,” heeseung offered.
“Don’t bother. You’ll probably just mess up something else.” You angrily leafed through all the scattered papers. “Useless,” you mumbled, but he heard it loud and clear.
That was it. He wasn’t going to stand for your behavior anymore. It’s fine if you’re irritated. He understood that, but he wasn’t going to allow you to disrespect him. 
“Stop!” He raised his voice at you, and you flinched. He took long strides over to your desk and pinned you against it with his large frame pressing your back into the knobs on the drawers that dug into your flesh as he stared down at you, and his heavy breath fanned across your face. “Don’t talk to me like that ever again.”
You stood still, heart beating rapidly in your chest. “I-I’m sor,” you muttered with fear in your eyes, and his expression softened a bit, but he still remained stern.
“I put those fucking sheets together. It was you that moved them” He pressed his lips onto yours, roughly taking your breath away from his hard tone yet soft touch.
He separated from you momentarily and stripped your shirt off, leaving your top half fully exposed from your lack of a bra. He squeezed your breasts roughly, and you moaned into his mouth as his tongue swirled with yours.
You moved your hands from the desk pulling his shirt up, and he smirked into the kiss, moving back so you could pull his shirt off, leaving his dark hair messy atop his head. “Hee,” you whimper.
“Be quiet” He pushed you roughly into the desk, rutting his hardened bulge against you. “I’m gonna get rid of this bitchy attitude of yours” Never ever has he talked to you like that before, and for some reason, you kind of like this new side of him. The thought of him putting you in your place excited you.
He stuck his hand in your shorts, palming over your mound and grazing your clit with his palm.
You threw your head back and moaned loudly as he zeroed in on your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses behind your ear, decorating your neck in red marks that would be a deep purple by tomorrow.
He took his hand outside of your shorts and pulled them down around your ankles. He kissed you as best as he could while he pulled his pants and underwear down, the jean material pooling at his feet. “Turn around,” he ordered and shoved your face against your stupid work desk. “If you’re gonna apologize, you better do it right,” he smacked your ass harshly. “Say it!” another loud smack bounced off the walls in the small studio. “Why so quiet now, hmm? Just a moment ago, you weren’t shy to call me useless” He stuck his fingers in your wet cunt without warning, pumping them in you roughly.
“Fuck!” Your legs were already shaking as you tried to hold yourself up by placing your hands flat on your desk. The brutal pace of his fingers was mind-numbing as you helplessly clamped down around his digits.
“Cause you know I didn’t fuck up your stupid little lyric sheets, is that it?” He slapped your ass again, completely unforgiving with the strength of his harsh smacks.
Now that he mentioned it, you did remember seeing them earlier, but you don’t know where you put them, and you were too full of yourself to admit it. “I don’t k-know,” you lied.
“Sure? Cause I think you do” He slowed the pace of his fingers gradually until he came to a sudden pause. “If not, then I guess I was wrong” He smirked behind you, pulling out his fingers that were sticky with your essence and sucking on them greedily.
You were still bent over, clenching around nothing and trying to back your ass up to feel him and have him touch you in any way, but he didn’t.
“Guess I don’t need to fuck the attitude out of you after all,” you heard his belt rustling behind you, indicating that he was going to pull his pants back up and leave you bent over, unsatisfied and still aching for his cock.
“No! Please, I’m sorry it was me I-I moved them,” you admitted embarrassingly. “I’m sorry.” You whimpered.
He turned you over and lifted you on top of your desk, messing up everything he had just cleaned and organized. “Say it like you mean it” He stared down at you smirking at how needy and desperate you looked as you spread your legs wide open just for him.
He rubbed his leaking tip between your legs, coating himself in your wetness as you held onto his waist for support.
You kept your lips sealed, but after a minute of his heavy cock gliding across your pussy and teasing your clit with his wet tip, you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to feel him.
You were going to apologize again, but thankfully he had mercy on you and pushed it inside, stretching you out with his big tip.
However, he didn’t have mercy on you like you once thought cause he stayed still after that, not moving even an inch.
“Please, hee, I’m so sorry. I’ll never say anything like that again,” you begged with tears almost in your eyes.
“I know you won’t” He pushed in all the way without warning, splitting your pussy open on his dick as he nestled deep inside you. “I’m gonna make sure of that” He put his hand on your throat, choking you lightly as he slammed into you, his hips colliding with your thighs as fast clapping noises filled up your studio. “The only thing you’re gonna be saying when I’m done with you is my name,” he grunted loudly while plowing into you ruthlessly, not bothering to even let you adjust properly.
“Heeseung,” you choked, barely able to speak from his grip on your throat and the brutal pace of his hips as your walls squeezed around his dick. “Fuck” you moan.
“Not so useless now, am I? I feel your little pussy sucking me right in.” His hips stuttered a bit, feeling you clench on him even tighter from the filthy words he spoke to you. “Open up that dirty little mouth” You did as he said, opening your mouth wide for him.
He spat in your mouth while fucking into you faster. Your fucked out state was making him go completely animalistic the longer you stared at him, and you were unable to speak cause how good he was doing you. Finally, after months, you were finally paying attention to him and only him in this shitty little studio of yours.
His swollen balls smacked against your ass. You spread your legs wider trying to feel every inch of him even though he was already buried to the hilt inside you and kissing your cervix repeatedly with his tip. “Nothing to say now, huh?” He teased, loving how you looked at him with your watery eyes, mouth full of his spit as you let him take you raw on your precious work desk.
He moved his hand from your neck, and his saliva trickled down your throat. You swallowed every last drop of it, eyes rolling back when his hips snapped into you, roughly jerking you back and forth on the desk.
You choked out his name as best as you could but stopped halfway when he rubbed your sensitive bud that was pulsating and desperately in need of his attention.
“Gonna cum already?” He chuckled and bit his lip, eyebrows clashing together as he slid in and out of you. “So much for me not being able to do anything right” His eyes flickered down to your breasts that were sloshing from his vigorous pace, and just the sight and the sound of your squelching pussy each time he rammed into was enough to have him mere seconds away from coming.
“Yes, hee,” you dug your nails into his waist while biting your lip. “I’m so close.”
He winced from the slight pain, but that only brought him more pleasure. “Cum on my cock, baby,” he circled your clit with his thumb, sending you to your breaking point as you came around his cock with silent cries of his name. “oh fuck!” He moaned loudly as he came from the tightness of your pussy clenching around him so deliciously, filling your insides with his warm cum.
He leaned down, locking his lips with yours, tiredly thrusting inside you as he finished at the same time with you.
He touched his sweaty forehead with yours breathing heavily as his legs began to feel numb.
You cupped his cheek and brought him in for a short but passion-filled kiss. “I’m sorry, hee,” you apologized again for lashing out at him. You truly felt bad. “It was all my faul-“
“Shhh, don’t worry, love. I understand. Let’s just forget about it and get you cleaned up. You had a long day” He pulled out and picked you up off your desk, as multiple sheets fell off of it. It was the ones you were searching so frantically for. “I’ll pretend I didn’t just see that,” he chuckled, and you hid in his chest.
“Thank you,” you muttered shyly as he walked you to the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” He asked once you got in the shower and cleaned you gently with his hands. “I didn’t hurt you anywhere, did I?” He looked at you with worry in his eyes. He knew he had gone rougher than usual due to his own frustrations at the time.
“No baby, you could never hurt me,” you assure him.
“Okay,” he whispers and kisses you slowly as he trails his hands up your sides, and you wrap your arms around his neck.”
“I love you, hee” You rested your head on his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat as the warm water from the shower cascaded down your bodies.
“Of course you love me,” he giggled, and you smiled. “I’m still going to pack for you, too” You tried to protest, but he just pushed his index finger to your lips. “And I love you too” He hugged you close and cherished what time was left before you had to go on the road.
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Unfortunately, as easy as it was to make up after your first couple of fights with mind-blowing sex, now it just wasn’t that simple.
Especially after your schedule kept getting packed as the tour date was approaching, and now you had no time to talk things out cause you were too busy either working or sleeping.
And luck wasn’t on your side today either, as you and heeseung were in your tenth fight this week.
“All I’m saying is that I miss spending time with you. I don’t even get to see you anymore. You’re gone when I wake up. You don’t call or reply to my messages” He rubbed his temple in frustration. “I mean, I wake up at three in the morning to an empty bed, and you can’t even at least answer my calls. I’m just worried about you, baby, that’s all” He tried to hold you, but you didn’t have time for that. There were only a few hours left before you had to go, and here he was, trying to patch things up before you went away for a whole three months, and you just didn’t have the time for him right now.
“I work late, and you know that. I don’t see why you can’t just leave me alone. I have to put my phone on mute 'cause you just won’t stop texting me” You were haphazardly throwing some extra stuff into a suitcase.
“Well, If you’d just answer, I wouldn’t have to keep texting,” he scoffed. “Didn’t know it was a crime to fucking miss my fiancée.”
“How can you miss me when I see you every day?” you argued.
“Yeah! And that’s it, you just see me, you don’t pay attention to me. We haven’t talked in weeks. I only see you running out in the morning. It’s been months since we’ve touched and made love, and I miss you so fucking much. You don’t understand. It’s always so quiet and lonely when you’re not here” He lowers his head and picks at his nails nervously. He hated having these arguments, and he hated that he was having them with you the most.
“You knew this was what you were signing up for” You didn’t know what came over you to treat him so roughly, but he was just wearing you out lately. You had more important things to focus on, and him whining like a baby wasn’t on that list. “I can’t babysit you all the time. Maybe if you did something other than sit home all day and wait for me, you might not feel so lonely,” you spat without even looking at him, completely missing the hurt look that took over his features.
“You’re the one who told me to quit my job, and as soon as I did, you just disappeared from life and acted like you don’t even know me,” he answers with anger laced in his voice. He couldn’t believe the audacity of your words. Him quitting his job was literally your idea.
You sighed. You didn’t have any more time for his nonsense right now. “Well, I don’t care anymore. Go get a job, fly a kite for all I care” You had no idea that you were crushing him to pieces right now, too busy wrapped up in your own world that you forgot he was the reason why you were even here in the first place. “My parents were right about you. You are a deadbeat” You laughed pathetically, letting the stress of the situation go straight to your head and saying any rude thing that came to mind.
You somehow felt like it was justified for you to say such things cause right now, he was the one being hard-headed, not you. He knew you had more things to worry about right now, and he just wasn’t one of them. “I know what it is. You’re just trying to hold me back. I’m this close to my dream, and you just don’t want to see me happy.”
“What the fuck are you even on about?” He did his best to stop his voice from cracking. “I was with you every step of the way. I was there for you when no one else was. I gave you my all 'cause that’s what you deserved, I wanted you to succeed more than anyone else, and you know that” He paused for a moment to compose himself. “But now I’m not so sure anymore” The first tear rolled down his cheek, and he hated it. He hated the fact that, for the first time, he was crying alone. You were no longer sharing pain together now. You were the ones causing it for each other. “I literally fucking proposed to you 'cause I love you. I never would do anything to hurt you or our future.”
“Ha! Love? I’m sure you just were trying to tie yourself to me and use me for my fame.” Little did you know it was you who let the fame get to you. You allowed yourself to feel higher and more important than anyone else, including your own fiancé.
He let out a shocked gasp at your words. For the first time in his life, he was left speechless.
For the first time, he didn’t recognize you as the girl who gave him his first and only hundred-dollar tip.
He saw you as someone who lost their way along the road and forgot where they came from.
This wasn’t the y/n he fell in love with.
As devastating as it was for him, he just couldn’t see you two getting over this. It had been months since you started treating him this way, and It was just too high of a mountain to climb, no matter how much he wanted to be there for you. You just weren’t letting him, nor were you there for him. The last months have been nearly insufferable. He had no idea how much your career would impact the relationship, but the last week has shown him that your job was more important than him, and if he wasn’t your number one anymore, what was the point of all this fighting and suffering just to call you his fiancée?
It wasn’t worth it. Not anymore. It wasn’t.
He couldn’t do this anymore for the first time in the eight years he’s known you. He put himself first. “Since work is more important than us, you can have fun with your new relationship,” he mumbled as his voice finally broke while slipping the ring you got him off his ring finger and setting it in front of you on your desk. “Hopefully, your career can give you more than I ever could,” he turned away, leaving you speechless.
Why couldn’t he just see that you had a life to live? Why couldn’t he just understand your point of view? You thought.
He went to your bedroom and gathered up his stuff quickly. You watched him walk out the front door without looking back, and it was only after he shut the door did you regret everything that had just happened.
The silence crept up on you slowly but surely, and you were still in shock that he was actually gone eight years down the drain in the blink of an eye.
But it was too late now.
You said things that couldn’t be taken back, and even if you apologized, you’re not even sure that would erase all the horrible things you’ve said and done to him in these past months.
You wanted to forget everything and run after him so he could take you back into his arms, but you were scared to, so you foolishly let him go.
Cause If you were him, you wouldn’t take yourself back.
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It had already been a year since your tour, and your career had skyrocketed beyond what anyone could have ever expected.
Except for one person.
Heeseung.
He always believed you could do anything. “I was there for you when no one else was” Those words rang in your ears over and over again as tears rolled down your cheeks. You looked down at the city view from your penthouse. “Fuck!” You screamed into the night sky, slamming your empty wine glass on the cold cement.
You tried to forget him, but every time you did anything, he took up every little crevice of your brain, and no matter what, you couldn’t escape him.
Even when you went on dates to try to get over him all you could think of was him, and the late nights he came to the studio bringing the date night to you (as he called it) with his very own cooked steak and your favorite wine.
The one relationship you were in after him (if you could even call it that) was a complete total disaster, and you were stuck dealing with a deadbeat. All he did was complain and tear you down. Criticizing your every move, He never gave you any support, and he was only interested in how much money your next show would net so he could bum off you.
He wasn’t even half the man heeseung was when he was with you.
You stayed with him for months cause you felt like that’s all you deserved, but after you found out that he cheated on you, you quickly broke things off with him.
Not cause you actually were hurt, or you cared about him, but you refused to associate yourself with a person like that.
You sighed at the memory.
Since that train wreck, you looked countless men in the face and turned them down every single last one cause no matter what, you could never get over him. Every time you looked at a man, you could still only ever see heeseung’s face.
All you could think of was heeseung 24/7, and no matter what, he always treated you with the utmost respect. You didn’t always agree with things, and you both had your fights here and there, but he was the first one to apologize and talk things over, always willing to understand your side no matter what.
You missed him so bad you cried yourself to sleep countless nights thinking of what you could have been if you hadn’t been so careless with your words and so dismissive of his feelings. If you could go back in time, you would reverse everything. You wouldn’t even think twice about it.
You couldn’t help but daydream about him coming to your concerts and being your number-one fan, and celebrating your first show together with you. You just know that he would have been so happy for you, and those would have been the best moments of your career, without a doubt.
But if you were being real, you deserved less. He should’ve never been the first one to apologize for all the times you fought. He should have never been made to feel like less cause you put your career over him cause he definitely wasn’t. He was worth more than any career in the whole entire world.
But now, all you could do was hang on to the little bit that was left of him.
You took his engagement band with you everywhere, and you never took yours off except for during interviews, so you wouldn’t raise any questions. You know you should have, but you just wanted to keep everything that made you hold onto the memories of when you two were together and happy.
Some nights, you just wanted to call him and tell him you wanted him back and you didn’t want to see him with anyone else but you, that no one else made you feel the way he did, as selfish as it was, you just wanted to tell him you wanted him to be yours again.
Cause no matter how hard you try. You just couldn’t let him go.
As you stared at the empty bottle of your favorite wine on your nightstand, even that reminded you of him, and like every night since your break up, you cried yourself to sleep.
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Heeseung was back at his old restaurant job. Luckily for him, he left on good terms with everyone, and they were happy to have him back cause he was by far the best cook and worker there.
He was currently cooking and serving up dishes, frantically rereading order tickets to make sure he got all the orders correct.
It was only when he hit the bell and yelled, “Order for table fifteen,” that he heard an oh-so-familiar voice. He looked up at one of the TVs in the top left corner of the restaurant, and he was captivated by who he saw.
After a year, he remembers all the lyrics to that song, and he remembers reciting them to you a few weeks before your tour. That was one of his favorites from you.
Heck, all your songs were his favorite.
It was one of the first songs you had ever written. It was about how you two first met.
He couldn’t help but smile as he watched you live your dream. As much as you hurt him, he still just couldn’t forget about you. He tried to go out a little and find someone new, not to replace you but to move on, but that quickly came to an end when every time he even looked at a girl, all he saw was your pretty face.
Yeah, you said some really terrible things, but he knew deep down you didn’t mean that it was just a hard time for you both, but he knew things wouldn’t have worked. That’s why he didn’t go running back to you after all this time apart. He had done some thinking, and though he couldn’t see it right away, he knew your guy's breakup was inevitable.
Apart of him wishes, he didn’t walk out on you that day, but what would have changed? You were too busy for him. There was no longer a slot for him in your busy schedule anymore. He chalked it up to the right people wrong time.
Call him whipped. He didn’t care cause no matter what, you’d always be his girl, and he’d always be your number-one fanboy.
He sang along as he watched you fondly on the TV. He knew you had what it took to get where you are today. A doubt never crossed his mind when he first saw you perform. He knew you were made for it.
As you held the last note of the song, he held his breath, not blinking even once so he could capture this beautiful moment and store it in his heart forever. What could he say? He was a very sentimental guy.
Unknowingly he clapped for you while all his other co-workers were bumping into him and shouting his name so he could get back to work. 
“That’s my girl” He smiled proudly as the camera panned back and showed thousands of people in the crowd supporting you.
“In your dreams, kid, now stop daydreaming about a girl that doesn’t even know you exist. I need five more steaks, medium rare” His boss patted his shoulder lightly.
“Yes, chef!” Heeseung answered while wiping his hands on his towel before preparing fresh steaks for all the waiting customers. “If only he knew,” heeseung whispered and smiled to himself.
And if only he had of looked up for just a second, he would have noticed the camera do a close-up of your face and give him a clear view of his engagement band hanging off the dainty chain that you wore around your neck every performance.
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As much as heeseung wanted to ignore it, he couldn’t. The billboards were literally everywhere, and he’s not sure if he was zeroed in on them just because it was you or if it was that you were really just that popular that your world tour was marketed on literally everything.
Though it didn’t much matter anyways cause he still saw it, and he had already purchased a front-row ticket to see you live in his city, one that he may have bought on resell, and he also may have spent his months' savings to get it.
He wasn’t stalking you, but he knew you had moved out some time ago after randomly hearing people chatting about you, and he might have watched a couple of your interviews from time to time just to see how you were doing.
Sadly, you never mentioned him in any of them, but why would you? You both literally broke things off a year ago. You probably didn’t even think about him anymore, or maybe you did, but he couldn’t really say.
Of course, he thought of calling though he wasn’t sure why exactly but whenever he did he reached the dial tone it didn’t come as a shock he knew when you moved you changed your number too, but it didn’t stop him from ringing a few times maybe it was just out of habit.
The idea of seeing you after all this time made him extremely nervous, but he just needed to see you one last time in person just to get the last little bit of closure his heart yearned for after missing you for a whole year.
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Your nerves were going absolutely crazy. You were about to take the stage in five, and no matter how many shows you had done, this one definitely meant the most to you cause it was in your hometown. It was where everything began.
More importantly, it was where you and your favorite person met and got engaged.
You grabbed his ring, bringing it to your lips and kissing the silver band softly.
You thought back to everything that happened, and you knew no matter how things ended, heeseung was somewhere, and he was proud of you.
That’s just the type of guy he was, never one to harbor any malice in his heart. He was the true definition of an angel.
“On in two,” You heard in the background of your thoughts, and with that, you wiped your tears before straightening out your clothing and taking a deep breath.
“You’re gonna do great,” you muttered to yourself.
That’s what heeseung would have said if he was here right now and if you didn’t have that knowledge, you’re sure you wouldn’t have been able to take the stage.
You looked at the crowd from behind the curtain, and your heart sank even further. As shallow as it sounds and as dramatic as you were being, you couldn’t help but think this is what you traded heeseung for. This is what you gave up the love of your life for.
As you were lost in the thought, the final minutes passed, and before you knew it, you were going up on stage as the crowd roared for you.
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Heeseung had been pacing back and forth on his lunch break. Today was the day of your concert, and he was chickening out. He got called into work today on his day off and deemed that to be more important than seeing you.
That’s what he tried to convince himself of, but he knew it was just him being a scaredy cat.
Your concert must have been on for at least an hour, and he had to drive at least half an hour to get to the venue.
Without thinking or notifying any of his co-workers, he got in his same little beater and sped off to the venue as fast as possible.
He may have been honked at, and he may have honked back, but after running at least two red lights and changing lanes without his signal, he was parked in front of the venue, hearing the music blasting throughout the arena.
He dashed out of his car and thanked whatever higher being that was out there cause, luckily for him. They haven’t shut the doors yet.
He got a couple of weird looks as he made his way through the crowd, still in his work uniform, but he didn’t care as he nearly tripped while trying to find his seat, row 1, seat 7. What coincidence, he thought you sat at table number 7 the night he first saw you, and now he was sitting in seat 7 the first time he saw you perform. “Lucky number 7,” he said and smiled.
Once he found his seat, he looked up from his ticket, and his heart nearly stopped as he heard the last bit of your latest song.
His mouth parted in awe, and in the moment, he wasn’t sad and thinking about your breakup. He wasn’t going to see you to try and win you back. 
He just wanted to watch his baby perform in front of thousands in your guy’s hometown, just like you and him always talked about always dreamed about.
Once your song ended, the lights dimmed, and you went backstage to change your outfit, getting ready to sing your unreleased song.
It was something special you had prepared just for this stop in your hometown.
You knew it would only break your heart even more to do this, but you had to. It felt right.
You changed into the same outfit the day heeseung proposed to you, looking at yourself with a forced smile in the mirror. You prepared yourself for your final song.
The loud cheers were drowned out by your seemingly never-ending thoughts today. The concert was everything you dreamed of and more it’s just too bad that Heeseung wasn’t here to see how far you’ve come.
You just wished you hadn’t said what you said and did what you did. It was selfish and hurtful, and you can’t imagine what he must have felt like. He literally sacrificed so much for you. But you were too stuck up to put yourself in his shoes for one day. You think maybe if you had of just listened to him one of the countless times he tried to express how he was feeling, maybe that dreadful day would have never come, and maybe he’d be in the front row watching and cheering you on right now as you sang your 15th and final song of the night.
Your feet moved on their own as you walked onto the dark stage. You stood in the middle, a spotlight shining above you that slowly panned back to the crowd, now giving the room a warm feel.
Everyone cheered loudly once you came back out on the stage, and you thanked them with a warm smile once they had quieted down a bit. “I have something special planned, but before I perform my last song, I’d just like to thank each and every one of you for coming out tonight.”
You were overwhelmed by the crowd noise, but you were so grateful for how loved you were by so many. “As a lot of you know, this is my hometown, and I made my first hit single in a little studio just about fifteen minutes from here” The crowd went silent and held on to every word as you gave your final speech. You were even more grateful for how respectful your fans were. “Performing here has always been my dream, and now that it has become a reality, this moment now holds a special place in my heart, and I’ll never forget this for years to come” You fought back the tears and tried to finish. What you prepared without getting too emotional.
“You can do it,” Heeseung muttered as he watched you wiping a few stray tears and holding the mic up to your mouth once more as the crowd encouraged you by cheering and whistling. “That’s my strong girl” He smiled proudly as you started to speak again.
“One thing a lot of you don’t know is that I used to share that studio with my boyfriend, well actually fiancé and now ex” You could hear the crowd gasping at the news that you’ve never told anyone, not even your parents cause you knew no matter what you told them they’d blame it all on heeseung and he didn’t deserve that especially cause it was all your fault.
Heeseung immediately froze up. Were you talking about him?
No.
You must be talking about someone you met after him, he quickly concluded.
“I wrote this song for him because he’s the reason I’m standing on this stage tonight in front of you all right now when no one else believed in me. He did. When I couldn’t afford the rent for the studio, he worked extra shifts just to make my dream come true.”
This sounded a lot like the experiences you both went through, but heeseung didn’t want to get his hopes up. It’s been a year. You could have had multiple ex’s by now, for all he knows.
“I never forgot the day he proposed to me. It was the best day of my life. My first single had just finished playing on the radio, and out of nowhere, he popped the question, and of course, I said yes” You smiled softly.
Now he was positive you were talking about him, and he teared up immediately. He remembers that day like yesterday. No wonder you were wearing that outfit. It all made sense to him now, and he was more than grateful that you mentioned him at your live show.
“Everything seemed to be perfect. My career was taking off. We were going to get married in the summer of last year, but my tour came up, and we spent less time together and more time fighting until one day, I said a lot of things that I didn’t mean, and that led us to break up” you said heartbroken you knew you were sharing a little bit too much, but you hoped after performing here and getting all this weight off your chest it would help you heal even just a little bit.
More loud gasps and murmurs were heard, but you didn’t let it get to you too much cause people always had something to say, rather it was good or bad.
Heeseung couldn’t stand to watch you so vulnerable up there and all alone. He wanted to jump on stage and pull you in his arms and tell you that everything was okay.
“As bad as this might sound if I could, I’d trade my career to have him back” You took a deep breath. “I’d give up all this just to call him mine again.”
“Stop saying nonsense,” heeseung’s voice cracked as he smiled sadly, a tear escaping his eye and trickling down his cheek.
“If he were here, I would tell him I’m sorry for everything and that he was right and tell him just how much I still love him” No matter how hard you tried to fight it, you couldn’t hide the pain in your voice as you spoke those words straight from your heart.
“I love you too, baby. I promised I’d never stop loving you” He’s a thousand percent sure he was getting weird stares, but once again, he didn’t care. Nothing else mattered but you, him, and this once in a lifetime moment.
You tried to lighten the mood a bit before your last song. “Oh, and one more thing, I’m in the mood for steak,” you laughed, and so did the crowd. Even though they had no idea what you meant by that, you knew heeseung would, though, but you were still thankful that they played along.
“Always in the mood for steak,” He laughed quietly and blinked his tears away, dabbing his nose.
You gave the crew a thumbs up, and your final song played. “Thank you all for coming tonight. It has been an honor to perform here. This is my unreleased song dedicated to my wonderful ex-fiancé. It’s called “Nobody gets me,” you spoke softly into the mic. “Thank you for everything, and thank you to everyone who traveled to come see me. Please have a safe trip home. I love you all.” You blew a kiss to the audience.
Heeseung was taking in the moment glancing at the crowd as they all watched you with phones in their hands and the flashlight on. This is what you both always dreamed of big lights, thousands of people, and him proudly cheering for you in the crowd.
Halfway through the song, his ears perked up at the familiar words you sang.
♪ Nobody gets me like you.
How am I supposed to let you go? Only like myself when I'm with you.
Nobody gets me. You do♪
He remembered telling you those words the day he proposed, and his heart nearly leaped from his chest.
You remembered.
♪If I'm real, I deserve less If I was you, I wouldn't take me back. I pretend when I'm with a man, it's you, And I know that it's too late.♪
The next few lines made his heartache. He didn’t feel that way at all. He would have taken you back in a heartbeat if you had of just called and apologized.
♪I don't wanna lose what's left of you.♪
You subtly pointed to the engagement band around your neck, and he didn’t miss it. If his eyes were correct, that was his ring.
After seeing that there was no way he was going to leave without seeing you again, he had so many questions to ask.
Your eyes searched the faces in the crowd, something you did from time to time to connect with your audience. You saw one face that stood out from the rest, and you could have sworn you were dreaming or someone was playing tricks on you cause there’s no way lee heeseung, your ex-fiancé slash love of your life, was watching you perform with the brightest smile on his face.
But even when you blinked and looked again, he was still there, giving you a shy wave with a sheepish smile as you teared up. The song was coming to a close, and you only looked at him the whole time.
♪You do Nobody gets me, you do (do) You do Nobody gets me, you do (do, ooh) You do, Nobody gets me, you do (do, ooh)♪
You looked directly into his eyes, not blinking for even a second as you closed out the song with tears in your eyes.
♪Nobody gets me. You do.♪
The lights dimmed, and all you heard were cheers as you made your way to the dressing room, clutching your chest while everyone congratulated you on your amazing performance backstage.
What is he doing here?
How was he here?
Why was he here?
Did a friend drag him here, or did he actually come to see you so? Many questions were swirling in your head, and it gave you a headache.
You were nearly hyperventilating as you took a drink from your cold water bottle.
You had been sitting there thinking about the last performance thinking about the way he looked at you with that beautiful smile of his.
He looked just the same.
“There you are,” you heard the voice of one of your managers. “Look who came to see you,” Steve smiled. He had known you and heeseung since way back, all the way back before you made your first single. He was the one that set up your tour last summer. He didn’t know why he started seeing less and less of heeseung as time passed or how you two ended, but when he asked. You just told him you were taking a break, and he never brought it up again since you seemed sensitive about the topic.
You turned in your seat, having a feeling you already knew who it was, and when your eyes met, you could have sworn you stopped breathing.
There he was in all of his beauty, and you smiled slightly when you saw him still wearing his chef jacket.
He smiled back at you shyly, and wow, were you absolutely gorgeous, just the way he remembered you. He knew it’s only been a year, but still. “Thank you, Steve. I owe you one,” heeseung shook your manager's hand.
“Hey, how about one of your infamous steaks? Since we’re in town,” Steve patted heeseung on the back with a light chuckle.
“You got it,” heeseung agreed, and Steve waved at you both before leaving you two alone.
Now that heeseung was alone with you for the first time in a year, the nerves had built up all over again. Still, he took confident strides toward you before he could even make it to you. You were already sprinting over to him with tears in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him tightly.
You knew you had no right to, but you couldn’t help yourself.
He automatically welcomed you into his embrace, and it felt like you were never apart for even a second. That’s just how familiar you felt to him. 
“Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry, it’s okay,” he shushed you and patted your head softly.
“I’m so sorry,” you said over and over again. Finally, after a year, you could say the words that you should have said the day he left, even before the day he left.
His heart broke at the sound of your weak sobs, and he couldn’t help but tear up as well. He always cried when you cried cause no matter what, he never wanted you to be alone in anything that you did. If you were happy, he was happy with you. If you were sad, he was sad. He was never in between. “It’s all okay now, baby. I forgive you.”
When he said baby, you literally froze in your tracks and pulled away from him. “Baby?” You asked with a confused tone fighting back a smile after hearing him call you that after so long.
“Yes, you never stopped being my baby” You pulled him even closer to you, pressing a kiss on his lips, both of you getting a taste of the salty tears that stained both your cheeks.
“Hee,” you mumbled breathlessly and looked him in the eyes. You were so nervous about doing this, but you had to. You pulled away from the hug and unclasped your necklace, taking off his ring. “I-“He had already outstretched his hand, waiting for you to slip his ring back on his finger where it belonged. “I love you so much, hee” He pulled you into another tight hug, rocking you back and forth gently.
“I love you too, I love you, I love you, I love you” He playfully kissed every inch of your face, and though few words were shared since seeing him again, your performance and his silver ring shining on his finger said more than a million words.
You giggle, and it was music to his ears to hear after so long. You played with his little cravat on his chef jacket just like before, and he smiled brightly. “So, are you still in the mood for steak?” He chuckled with a raise of his brow.
“I’m always in the mood for steak” He hooked his arm around your waist, leading you two out of the back of the venue. You’d get Steve to cover for you for your sudden disappearance.
“That’s my girl” He leaned down and kissed your lips sweetly as you clutched onto him tighter. “Just wait till chef sees this,” he smiles proudly at you.
You just looked at him quizzically, and he just gave you a smile. “Did you enjoy the concert?” You ask him excitedly.
“Well……” he chuckles nervously. “How about we talk about it over dinner, Hmm?”
“Sure” The smile never left either of your faces as you drove to the restaurant in his beater, hand in hand.
As you look at him, he stares back at you with that one-in-a-billion smile of his, you made a promise to yourself to never hurt him again, and you swore you’d do whatever it took to keep him and that beautiful smile on his precious face.
Cause you’d never find anyone else that gets you like him.
FIN.
Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback! - 🐹
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hayleythesugarbowl · 1 year ago
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if you get some free time can you please write something halloween-y about shayne topp? i feel like he’d be the perfect fall boyfriend omg
Worth the Wait || Shayne Topp x reader
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • shayne hcs ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ summary: shayne is determined to find out what your halloween costume is this year but you won’t tell him, and when the holiday is finally here he finds it very much worth the wait
word count: 1.1k
warnings: none that i can think of except maybe some mild swearing
a/n: omg yes you’re totally right about Shayne being the perfect fall bf i love him so much!! i just had this idea and went with it so i hope it’s something like what you wanted. enjoy!! 🪐💌🍓
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    “Just give me a hint, (Y/n)!”
     “Shayne, I told you, you’re just going to have to wait,” you laughed, squeezing his hand.
     He put his free hand inside the pocket of his jeans, sighing.
     He had been at this for the whole of what was supposed to a romantic walk through the park. Ever since you had told him you knew what you were going to wear for the annual Halloween party you’d be attending together, he wouldn’t let it go. You had told him multiple times that it was a surprise, but he was persistent. 
     You looked up at the trees and their leaves in shades of orange and pale red as a few leaves from the tree closest to you floated down to where you and Shayne were walking, one brushing the front of Shayne’s sweater before falling gently to the ground. 
     “Fine,” he pouted, “Don’t tell me.” 
     “Maybe I won’t,” you said, rubbing your arms with your hands to keep them warm. Ok, you admitted to yourself, Short sleeves were a bad idea.
     Shayne took his hand from yours, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You leaned in to his side, grateful for the warmth of him as the light breeze blew your hair away from your face.
     “What do you say we go get some coffee? My treat,” he said, nodding his head towards the coffee shop on the other side of the road.
     “Sounds warm,” you nodded, changing directions. He stopped walking, standing in front of you.
     “…Only if you tell me what you’re wearing for Halloween.”
     “You’re impossible,” you shoved at him, continuing to walk in the direction of the coffee shop. 
     He jogged to keep up with you, “Seems like a fair trade to me!”
     You continued walking, turning backwards to raise an eyebrow at him, “Then I guess I can’t order a pumpkin spice latte for you this time.”
     You may have said that a little louder than necessary and a few people nearby looked up at you and Shayne 
     “They’re delicious and the perfect fall treat!” He defended enthusiastically, looking around and throwing his hands up in defeat.
     You giggled, your fingers on the door handle. “You were saying?” 
     “I’ll get us a table.”
₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚
     “Are you ready?” Shayne called impatiently from the other room. He had waited—or rather, you had made him wait—for nearly two weeks to see what your Halloween costume was. Seeing as it was finally the day of the party, and you had no other choice, you relented and had promised to show him your outfit. 
     “Almost,” you called back, rolling your eyes in amusement. “Are you?”
     He laughed. “Should I be scared?” 
     “Oh definitely,” you said, holding back laughter yourself, “I’m hideous.”
     You glanced at your outfit in the mirror. In the weeks since you’d had the idea for your costume this year, you had snuck one of Shayne’s most worn t-shirts out of his closet and you now wore it along with a cheap, short blonde wig you ordered online. 
     Ok, so maybe you didn’t look exactly like Shayne, but it was what you were going for at least. The only thing was, you didn’t have any of his pants readily available and his shirt was long enough on you that you had decided to just…not wear any. That part, you thought, a grin forming on your face, Shayne deserved.
     You stepped out of your room and walked down the hall to the living room where Shayne sat, book in hand, waiting for you to show him your costume. 
     You gazed at the Halloween decorations adorning your living room. You and Shayne kind of went all out when it came to this holiday. Ghosts and pumpkins—and this one paining of a witch that you swore was always watching you—covered every available space. You couldn’t help but smile at the sheer amount of it all. 
     You took a few more steps toward the front room and Shayne caught sight of you, his eyes widening as he took in you…well, him.
     “Damn, (Y/n),” he said, running a hand through his hair as he looked you up and down. 
     “Well, what do you think?” You asked, spinning around to give him the full affect.        
     “I think you look sexier as me than I ever have.”
     You let out a laugh, stepping closer to him.
     “Is it weird if I really want to kiss me right now?” He took a step towards you too, closing the distance. 
     “Not really, I want to kiss you too,” you teased, letting him pull you in by your waist. 
     “That,” he said looking at your costume again before bringing his lips to yours, “was definitely worth the wait.”
     You tugged at the t-shirt, drawing Shayne’s gaze to the movement of the fabric.
     “Although I don’t know how I feel about having no pants on.”
     “I thought you said it was sexy?”
     “Exactly.” 
     He laughed and you couldn’t help but laugh too, which turned into a surprised shriek as he picked you up before setting you down on the couch where he had been sitting. He sat down next to you and you threw your legs over his, leaning against him as he wrapped his arms around you and  kissed you again.
     You heard your phone buzz multiple times, interrupting your moment as you figured you should check it. 
     Standing up abruptly you said,“Right, the Halloween party! Court just texted,” you turned to Shayne, “and you still don’t have a costume.”
     He brought his hand to the back of his neck, “I didn’t plan anything, I just figured you looked good enough for the both of us so—” He shrugged.
     “Not gonna happen,” you stated, grabbing his hand and pulling him up from the couch.” You looked at him ominously, “Besides, I already have a costume planned for you.”
     “(Y/n), you’re scaring me,” Shayne said, taking in the look on your face. 
     “It’s nothing extravagant,” you said, “But you are going to need one of my dresses so let’s go.”
     “(Y/n)—” Shayne started as you tried to drag him down the hall.
     “Please,” you looked up at him, “for me?”
     He stood, as if thinking for a moment, and then sighed, smiling. “Only because I love you.”
     You kissed him quickly, and then ran down the hall, in a hurry to get his Halloween costume ready. You couldn’t wait to see the looks on everyone’s faces—including Shayne’s.
      “But I’m not wearing anything with ruffles!”
      “Of course not,” you called down the hallway, “that wouldn’t match with your wig.”
      “My what?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ˋ°•*⁀➷ i don’t apologize for the cringe i had fun ahh hope you enjoyed this and happy fall babes!! <3🍂✨ 🎀
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mirrrorballs · 1 year ago
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swear to be overdramatic and true to my, lover.
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pairing / opla!roronoa zoro x gn!reader
warnings / nothing much just an established relationship, tooth-rotting fluff, the normal couple banter, and a first kiss trope that makes me all mush.
synopsis / as the straw hat crew docks at an island, everyone decides to give the place a little tour. as you and zoro are strolling around the area, you stumble across an old photobooth. after a bit of banter, stolen glances, and subconscious smiles, a first kiss ensues.
author's note / OPLA ZORO IS MY NEW FIXATION AHH this prompt just popped into my head last night and it was too cute to not put into writing. so here it is!!
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The sun was painted a gorgeous shade of orange as the straw hats finally docked on a new island.
"Alright, crew!" their captain's cheery voice boomed as he clasped his two hands together, calling everyone's attention. "Sanji and I will be looking for supplies and ingredients to last us the next few weeks since we're running out. So, take this time to tour around the island for a while." Luffy said with a smile, placing his hands on either sides of his waist.
Nami simply nodded and shrugged, Usopp excitedly jumped from his position by the deck, and Zoro made his way over to you.
Noticing your boyfriend walking towards you, a smile crept up your face as you walked over to meet him halfway.
Once you were within arms' reach, Zoro took your hands in his. Turns out the smile you wore was contagious, a similar one appeared on his face as he looked at you intently. Gosh, how this poker-faced and stoic man turned into putty because of you.
"Hi" he said, breaking the moment of comfortable silence you two had. Your smile grew wider. "Hi yourself," you replied, lightly swinging your interlocked hands back and forth.
Zoro tore his gaze away from you for a moment to see that the rest of the crew started going down the ship. He turned his head back to you. "We should probably follow suit." he said, tilting his head to gesture to the people who were now on the dock. You nodded lightly and Zoro took it as his signal to tug you along with him to the stairs, both of you still having a hand connected.
You both strolled around the streets, taking the less crowded paths in order to remain unnoticed. The bounty over the straw hats' heads more than enough of a reminder for you both to remain cautious.
"Where do you think we should go?" you asked as you turned to face Zoro. He turned to you and shrugged. "Anywhere is fine, you choose." he said. I want what you want, he thought but chose to leave it out.
Another comfortable silence consumed you both before a small booth with a velvet blue curtain for an entrance caused you to halt. 'Photobooth', the illuminated sign read.
Zoro realized you weren't by his side anymore and looked back to see you looking at something. He followed your gaze until his eyes landed on the booth.
He walked back towards you. "Oh, no. Yeah, no." he said while shaking his head. You scoffed. "Why not? You said I could choose!" you countered with a slightly offended tone.
"Tiny booth in an almost abandoned looking street. It could be some sort of marine, enemy, or pirate hunter prop with a hidden camera or microphone inside." he said confidently, almost sounding proud of his oh-so-smart conclusion.
This guy can't be serious, you thought. "Zoro, love, the apple of my eye. You know I really do appreciate your input on things, but I really don't think any of the people you mentioned would use a photobooth as a prop. Vicious pirates don't just snap photos for fun. And secondly, we're on a tiny little island that you can barely see on a map, any enemies wouldn't just expect us to be here." you replied, holding back a giggle.
Zoro's eyes widened and he cleared his throat. You were right, but he was far too proud to admit that. So he continued the debate.
"Well, Buggy's ear was in Luffy's hat as a spy mechanism. Something similar could occur." the man replied defensively to which you just raised an eyebrow.
"The photo could fly away and someone could see our faces and recognize us from the wanted posters. Next thing you know we have ships on our tail." he continued but all you did was tilt your head and cross your arms, urging him to go on with his desperate attempt at a debate.
"I don't like having my picture taken." he said as a last resort, ideas for any more replies flying out of his head.
"Okay then, I'll just take photos on my own." you shrugged and started walking towards the booth.
Zoro gulped, torn between his pride and a sweet moment with you. "Fine by me." he choked out.
You rolled your eyes before turning around to face him with a pout.
"Seriously? That didn't work on you?" you huffed. Zoro had to hold back a smile at your childish attitude.
Your boyfriend simply smirked and shrugged. "What can I say? I like to stick with my stand." he said.
You walked forward, only a step or two serving as a divider. Your pout morphed into a grin as you giggled, taking his hands in yours.
"Come on, please? For me? We're always at sea and when we're not we don't have a lot of memories like this together." you said. Gaze shifting from your intertwined hands to his face.
His normally hard gaze softened as your eyes met. The way you always looked at him so lovingly that it made his heart swell it almost feels like it's about to pop out of his chest.
Zoro smiled softly, as he rubbed his thumb against your hand. How could he say no to you?
"If it's that important to you, then I don't see why not." he said. If possible, your smile grew even wider as you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.
The action slightly startling the mosshead as he stumbled a few steps back before wrapping his arms around your waist as soon as realization hit that you were hugging him.
"Thank you." you said. Zoro tightened his hug before replying with, "Any time."
You pulled away a moment after and started dragging him towards the booth.
You pushed the blue curtain to the side before stepping inside the rather cramped photobooth and taking a seat. Zoro quickly following the action.
You fumbled through your pocket with furrowed brows in search of a few berry. Holding up the coins in front of you triumphantly a few moments after.
Zoro observed you as you pushed the coins through the slot and pressed the button to start.
The screen on the left side came to life and you could finally see what the camera could. The countdown started.
You turned your head to see Zoro looking rather confused as he stared at the camera with pursed lips and slightly furrowed brows. You smiled at the man next to you.
Snap!
The sound signaled that the first photo was taken, pulling your attention back to the camera. The second countdown started.
You took a quick second to fix yourself for the photo, tucking pieces of hair behind your ear before flashing a picture-ready smile for the camera.
Unbeknownst to you, it was Zoro giving you a look of awe, admiration, and love this time. A small smile visible on his face. You just had that effect on him.
Snap!
The next photo was taken. Zoro turned back to the camera at the sound. The third countdown began.
You let out a contented sigh. You turned to face Zoro with a small grin. "Thank you, again." you said before pressing your lips to his cheek, planting a small kiss.
Snap!
The third photo was shot, and Zoro was grateful the photos would be in black and white because he sure didn't want anyone else seeing his shocked face and flushed cheeks. The last countdown started.
Zoro didn't know what came over him. If it was the atmosphere or the current happening. But he was most definitely sure that whatever the reason was, it circled around you. He wouldn't admit it but the moment was perfect to him. You were perfect.
He just found himself pulling you by the back of your neck and pressing his lips against yours.
The action shocked you for a second. But after a moment you closed your eyes and leaned into the kiss. It was the first one you two shared, and sharing it in this moment couldn't have been more perfect.
Snap!
The last photo was shot, though the sound went unnoticed by the two of you this time. Only pulling away after a few more seconds.
You both stayed like that for a while. Staring deeply into each other's eyes. His hand gripping yours that was placed on your lap. Both you and Zoro smiling at each other like love drunk idiots.
The two of you only snapped back to reality after hearing the sound of the photo strip bring printed outside.
You pulled away from Zoro, swiftly moving to the exterior of the booth in anticipation of seeing the pictures. Zoro followed after you almost immediately.
Once the photo strip was fully printed, you quickly grabbed it as your eyes scanned each picture. A smile graced your lips as your index finger traced every one of them, pausing at the very last one.
"You like it?" Zoro asked. You turned to face him. Like is an understatement, you thought. "I love it." you said softly but whole heartedly.
Zoro couldn't help but give you a hearty grin. You turned your attention back to the photo strip in your hand. "It's a shame we only have one copy." you mumbled, but loud enough for Zoro to hear.
"You're right" he replied, nodding. He took a step closer to you. "Both of us having copies would've been nice." he continued, glancing at the pictures. He smiled at this.
"If you want to keep it, it's fine!" you said cheerfully, holding the strip out for him even though you badly wanted it for yourself.
Zoro laughed at this and pushed your hand back gently.
"I have a better idea. Why don't we recreate it instead?" he said with a grin that you simply mirrored.
And so you did.
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julia speaks !
SCREAMINGG these two are so cute. This turned out pretty long, but it's not too shabby hehe. Hope you enjoyed :)!!
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yourmomwhitediamond · 8 months ago
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Can I request Rosie x female reader who owns a cannibal meat pie shop close to the emporium? Just them being a cute couple after a long work day. Maybe Y/N brings over some special meat pies she made just for her lovely girlfriend?
Here’s the first one! I am rusty with my writing, so you’ll have to excuse any mistakes. I hope this is good enough! Enjoy!! :D
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You were packing everything up for closing time, as per usual. Double checking every cabinet door was shut and locked before heading into the back of your store to gather all that you had brought with you and what you planned to bring home. The main item of concern was a pie you had specially made for your girlfriend and wanted to get home to her while it was still warm. Seconds before you went to flip the final switch the store's bell rang out and you groaned. Every day, at this exact time, the same person would come in at the last second. Susan. You inhaled and exhaled deeply, putting on your best smile as you stepped back out into the front.
"Susan," You greeted in a sickly sweet voice, already sliding open the panel to where her regular order was displayed, "What can I get for you?"
"The same as always, please" Please? That's a first. You didn't comment on it and simply nodded, going on to bring out the tray. If you took too long she'd get snappy, so there was no time for any chitchat, not like you wanted to converse with her today. It had been a hectic day, the time of the week where you’d made a fresh batch of human pies, and Susan was prolonging it.
Swiftly, you wrapped up Susan's order, not wanting to waste a minute longer. You cursed yourself for not doing this early with the knowledge that she'd come along. When you placed it on the counter, ready to take Susan's payment, you checked the time. If she was quick at getting her money out then you'd only be five minutes late. That didn't happen. Because Susan just had to go and take her sweet time getting every penny out of her purse. You felt like reaching over the counter to strangle her, but kept a smile on your face, nevertheless.
When it had been paid for you bid her goodbye, "Bye Susan, I hope you have a lovely evening"
You got the same old, "You too" from her. And the second the door closed you scrambled to gather your things, praying for no further interruptions. With the lights turned off, a bag over your shoulder and the door locked securely, you hurried home.
The moment you walked into your home you were greeted with Rosie's welcoming smile that you returned with an apologetic one.
"I'm so sorry I'm late-"
"Susan?" She interrupted your apology with an amused smirk.
You let out a short chuckle and a curt nod. You were so thankful to have such an empathetic partner such as her. She understood the struggles of dealing with Susan. You went over and pressed a kiss on either of her cheeks followed by a peck on the lips.
"She's insufferable" You whispered.
Rosie cupped your face and brought you into a kiss, mumbling against your lips, "I know, darling"
Smiling blissfully, you parted but kept your forehead up against Rosie's with your eyes closed. She sighed contently whilst snaking her arms around your waist. Her hands bumped into your bag which caused her to look down with an inquisitive expression.
"What's in the bag?" Her question brought you out of your enraptured state. Your eyes snapped open and you stepped back from the embrace.
"I made you a little something," You told her as you reached into your bag. A proud smile adorned your face with the pie you'd baked held out in front of you.
"Oh sweetie," Rosie took the pie and grinned widely, taking in the intricate patterns on the pastry, "I thought I smelt something good"
"It's got all of your favourite meats in; pinky fingers, eyeballs with some brain, and a few other little things. It will need warming up aswell"
"It'll be perfect, you know me all too well" She placed a kiss on your head before walking off to the dining table. You followed suit, noticing the teapot and cups set in your places. It made your smile grow further knowing that she'd patiently been awaiting your return, having prepared you both the hot beverages to drink over some good gossip, as always.
"Pray tell what these 'few other little things' are?"
"I'm not telling" She feigned an offended gasp at your response.
Laughing faintly, you approached her from behind and wrapped your arms around her waist. With your chin resting on her shoulder, you whispered, "You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"
"I suppose I will”
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peterm4rker · 1 month ago
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¿dónde está la biblioteca? || z.cl
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twenty four. are you shitting me? (written)
you hoped whoever princess was had a shitty day.
it was nothing against her, really (yes it was). but mostly against the fact that the simple knowledge of her existence had ruined the last few days of your life.
after realising that there was no way that chenle had anyone but a girl named like that on his phone, you had spent the last two days dragging about in your apartment, bored out of your mind and a tiny bit sad.
you have grown accustomed to chenle’s presence in your life. his texts, his twitter interactions, the hours upon hours he spent inside of your head. so now that you had decided to take your time and distance from him, everything was oddly quiet. you spent the first two days simply moping around, watching straight seasons of new girl and eating away your feelings with cookie dough ice cream, which oddly enough, you had never liked that much until it began to remind you of chenle.
it was day three on the “forgetting about my feelings for chenle and going back to being best friends with him” agenda, and the outro to the last episode of new girl played on your computer screen. you stared at it with a blank face and teary eyes, feeling hollow once again as there was nothing to fixate on to make you feel better.
as you picked up your phone to call sunwoo and cry to him about everything but chenle (he vetoed his name for the next week), you found your own teary eyed reflection and it was nothing more than pathetic.
since when did you let yourself cry over boys and mope around for days on end?
absolutely not.
you turned off your phone and got out of bed, grabbing a towel and heading straight to the shower. music blared through the alexa on the counter as you let water wash the negativity away, allowing a smile onto your face. you picked a cute outfit and grabbed your bag, putting one airpod on before leaving your house and jumping into ludovica.
the drive to the coffee shop was pretty long, but it didn't bother you. that was what you needed, fresh air and some sun.
you parked your car and happily got out of it, making sure to greet the workers as you approached the counter and ordered your favourite drink and a pastry. once the order was placed you walked to a nearby table, pulling out your computer and your notebook, deciding to get some work done.
the music playing through your headphones drowned out any other thought that could have crossed your mind. the melody tingling your brain and the lyrics sinking into your skin as you tried your hardest to write your report on one of your biggest musical inspirations. 
right then and there, everything seemed to fall into place. the coffee was exactly as you liked it, the pastry was beautifully done and the words seemed to just flow out of you. 
you didn't need chenle. you didn't need anyone.
but of course, if being run over and stranded at an airport had taught you anything, was that these feelings normally didn't last for you. and still, you were a little surprised as you felt a tap on your shoulders, raising your head only to be met by none other than hong seunghan.
he smiled brightly at you, the corner of his eyes brimming with joy as he waved. you took your headphones off quickly, trying to match his smile and hide your surprise. “hey, seunghan!” you greeted happily.
“hey ynnie, what are you doing here? i don't think I’ve seen you here before” he says, but he has, because you used to go to that exact coffee shop whenever you thought he would be there. 
“just getting some work done, you?” you answered.
“I was supposed to meet maru but she couldn't make it” he shrugged, looking at the chair in front of you “is this seat taken?”
“oh, no, go ahead” you nudged towards the chair, allowing him to sit with you. 
a few months ago, hell, even weeks, you would've been elated to be sitting with seunghan out of all people. but as you saw him sit and give you that astonishing smile of his, there was nothing.
because it wasn't his smile that made your stomach erupt into butterflies anymore.
★🎧⋆。 °⋆
conversation easily flowed between you, making you set your work aside completely to focus your attention on him.
“can i tell you something a little embarrassing? i'm only comfortable saying this now because i’m madly in love with my girlfriend” he asked as he calmed down from a fit of laughter you had very proudly caused.
“yeah, of course” you smiled reassuringly, suddenly curious at what his next words would be.
“i used to have a huge crush on you but i was too scared to say anything” he admitted bashfully. your jaw fell open for a couple seconds, before erupting into laughter and hiding your face in your hands “hey! don't laugh at me!” he exclaimed with a soft laugh.
“i'm not laughing at you! its just” you cut yourself off and took your hands away from your face, looking at him once again “i had a massive crush on you for about two years” 
“you're shitting me right now” he deadpanned, and you shook your head as a chuckle escaped your lips. “i was scared for nothing!?” 
“yup, i would've given you everything i've ever owned if i knew” you chuckled.
“thats crazy… When did you stop liking me?” he asked curiously, and you pursed your lips a bit awkwardly.
“maybe around a month ago?” you said, doubt making your voice high pitched. his jaw fell open once again.
“that little ago?” you nodded, sheepish smile still on your lips “then… i'm guessing chenle happened?”
you nodded once again.
“well then, I'm happy it worked out for the both of us” he chuckled as he sipped his drink again.
“i wouldn't say it has worked out for me” you commented, stirring the liquid of your second cup of coffee of the day.
“how so?” he asked, curious once again. who would’ve thought he liked chisme so much?
“well, chenle has no idea i like him and also has a girl, so” you pursed your lips once again.
“huh? chenle doesnt have a girl” seunghan replied, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 
“he doesn't?” your eyebrows moved to match his, his confusion contagious.
“nah, he is pretty bitchless” the way he said it made you laugh, rolling your eyes.
“then who is princess?” you asked. you didn't know why you were having this conversation with seunghan out of all people, but if it was giving you good information then it was totally worth it.
“princess?” he thought about it for a second, his furrowed eyebrows falling into a deadpan as he seemed to remember “thats literally jaemin”
“wait, what?” you asked, even more confused than before.
“that's how he has him saved, with a little bow, right?” right.
you had never felt so stupid in your life.
you just had spent two days moping around your room for nothing.
you had spent two days ignoring chenle for nothing.
“i might end it all” you groaned and let your head fall into the crook of your arms, resting on top of the table. seunghan let out a loud laugh.
“no way you thought he had a girlfriend” he laughed “its so obvious that he's–” he cut himself off suddenly, making you look up at him
“hes what?”
“nothing, forget it” he dismissed it. he wasn't going to rat out his boy like that. “i can help you”
“help me with what?” you sat up once again, feeling defeated by your own dumbness.
“chenle, i know him very well, and i think i can help you confess” he said, decided smile adorning his pretty face.
“you really think so?” you asked, a tiny bit of doubt in your voice.
“of course, i'll need some help but i definitely can” he nodded, convincingly.
“then let's do it.”
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previous ★ masterlist ★ next
★ word count ;; 1.4k
★ authors note ;; SEUNGHAN IS BACK I REPEAT MY MAN IS BACK !!!!!! sooo incredibly grateful that i chose him as the crush because i can post this chapter and introduce their beautiful friendship the day after he was announced back !!!!
★ tag list ;; @yutarot @chenlesfavorite @fullsunbabe @taroddori @morkiee @jovialdelusionbouquet @winwintea @flaminghotyourmom @haechskiss @xuimhao @dudekiss3r @neozon3nha
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waitmyturtles · 4 months ago
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I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)
HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)
PROS
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CONS
1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.
I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.
Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.
The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.
2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.
(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)
I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.
3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.
[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]
TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.
ANY FUCKING WAY.
PROS
1)
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I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.
And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!
2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.
The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.
Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.
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schumachersricciardo · 2 months ago
Text
Shiver
Chapter Four - Fathers Be Good to Your Daughters
♡ Mick Schumacher x Reader, Best friend!Danny Ricc x reader
♡ TW: PLEASE READ BEFORE PROCEEDING!
This chapter contains descriptions of physical, emotional, AND mental abuse by a parent to their child. It contains descriptions of the aftermath of the physical abuse. It also contains scenarios where reader is verbally abused by a parent. If this is triggering for you, there will be a TLDR at the very end of the chapter. Please scroll down to the end of this page if you want to know what this chapter is about, but not read it in its entirety.
♡ TW: Swearing, inaccurate timeline of F1/F2/F3, badly translated German using Google, not proofread, anxiety and panic, crying, alcohol consumption, a mention of throwing up (but not graphically or anything), allusions to a smutty situation, mentions of female anatomy, making out (??), angst, hurt/comfort, physical/mental/emotional/verbal abuse - read above.
♡ She/Her pronouns are used, nothing descriptive about reader except that her hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail or braid, no reader insert, timeline skips. ALSO: WARNING!!!! I will barely be mentioning Michael Schumacher. I do not presume to know what he is thinking, or would say in these fictional scenarios. I am trying to be respectful of their privacy and not make any assumptions!!!!!! He will be mentioned here and there, but I do not believe any dialogue will be associated with him. If you do not like that, then do not read it. :) 
♡ About 12.3k words, lmao. Oops
♡ A/N: For one, this chapter was so emotional and personal for me to write. I'm very happy with the way that it turned out, as it took me about two days to complete it! It's quite a long chapter, so please take breaks if you need to. Thanks again for being so nice to me, and I hope you enjoy it.
Also, this chapter is not in chronological order of events. I based the sections on what lyrics are put and what I thought would go well with them.
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU DECIDE TO READ OR NOT READ!
If you or anyone you know is a victim of abuse, please do not hesitate to call the provided numbers after clicking any of the links at the bottom of this page.
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based on the song lover of the light by mumford and sons 
“Stretch out my life and pick the seams out
Take what you like, but close my ears and eyes
Watch me stumble over and over” 
Mick knew from a very early age that having solid friendships was something very important to have in order to build a strong foundation in life. He saw that modeled so dearly by his father, and all the friendships he had made over the years. His older sister had great friends who treated Mick with nothing but respect… And some pranks. And his mother (besides the envied relationship she had with his father, her husband) always stressed that having good, pure of heart friendships would take you further in life than anything else. 
And for the first time in his life, Mick felt that warmth and joy with you just weeks after you had moved to Germany. Your friendship bloomed quickly and tightly, as you two seemingly became inseparable. It was a rare sight seeing one of you, without the other at school. Everyone could notice the shift in momentum when you were absent and Mick was left confused as to what to get to lunch that day. And vice versa, when he’d be gone - you’d be often found wandering around the school’s library not actually picking out a book, at every recess you had. 
But Mick as bad at math as he was, was more acutely aware of any signs of emotional or mental change in you than one would believe. He could see it in your expressions and body language if you were going through something at home. Your nose would scrunch more and you’d have more difficulty doing simply math problems than usual. You made it a point to never chew on your pencils or straws, but if you were particularly stressed… You could easily bite through the stick of lead or plastic. Mick knew this and he recognized it more as your friendship grew. Most of the time, you’d reassure him with the exact smile he fell in love with and most of the time he’d take your word for it. 
Except the day he didn’t and refused to let up when he could tell it was more than just stress. 
“It’s fine, Mickey, just drop it.” 
“I will not drop this, Smidge!” Mick was now chasing his best friend down as she stormed out of his room. 
“Leave it alone, ugh!” You spat back, as you opened the back door and tried to create some space between you and the blond boy. You took your hair out its ponytail holder in frustration, trying to make that antsy feeling going away by running furious hands through your hair. 
“Smidge, I swear, if you do not tell me what is going on right now-“ 
“Oh, you swear?” You turned on your heel in anger and gestured towards whatever imaginary thing you were gesturing as you huffed. “You swear you’re going to do something about it? Huh? Fuck off, Mick!” 
Mick let out a scoff, which kind of turned into a laugh? He was laughing now? You rolled your eyes and turn your back on him once again. You had plopped yourself on the lawn, looking out at the vast city line in front of you. You began to pick at the grass below you, your hands needing something to fiddled with to try and center your anxiety. You took a deep breath. Mick could see from behind the way your shoulders rose, and shakily fell. He knew you were trying not to cry. And of course he never wanted to see you cry, but part of him wishes you did. He knew it would probably make you feel better… But to be honest, the last time he could remember you crying in front of him was when you fell off your scooter just a few meters from the very house you were constantly visiting. Mick tried to shake that happy thought out of his mind, because he didn’t want to ruin it. 
“Smidge… Please, I know there is something bothering you, and I promise I will not tell anybody else… But you know I hate it when I cannot help you.” Mick spoke softly as he took a seat beside you. You avoided eye contact. 
Mick was trying to decipher what your facial expression was like, but your hair had fallen and was covering the view. He took a deep breath and reached his hand over to yours. Grabbing your fingers delicately, while also trying to get you to stop pulling out the grass, he gave your hand a squeeze. You squeezed back gently and still without making eye contact, you scooted closer to him. You leaned against him, your head on his shoulder. He adjusted as needed, his right arm placed behind him so he could support the both of you.
You always found comfort and safety tucked underneath him. And you knew that you two would be sharing a blanket and watching a movie in no time. But that fleeting thought only gave you a second of relief. The two of you remained in silence as you listened to the rustling of the wind as it danced with the leaves and branches. You could hear birds chirping in the distance and you could practically cut the calmness of the world around you with a knife. This is where you wanted to be. You never wanted to leave this spot, but life was never that kind and soon enough, reality pulled you back in as Mick’s humming brought you and your daydreaming to a halt. 
“I didn’t do well on my last math exam.” You stated. 
Mick stopped humming. He was trying to figure out why that of all things had you so upset. He didn’t comment though
“I got a B- or something…” You sighed. “I studied and I studied… But I only got a B-… It was humiliating.” 
“I am sorry about that, Smidge. I know how much you value getting good grades.” Mick finally responded. His tone was… trying to be supportive, but he really didn’t understand why getting a B- in math was so devastating. He would LOVE to get that grade on a math exam, even after studying. 
“I don’t care about getting good grades, Mickey.” You retorted quicker than you probably should have. You stiffened your posture and moved away from him. Your heart rate was picking up and you were getting nervous. Mick noticed. He noticed everything when it came to you. 
The blue eyed boy wasn’t sure what came over him next, but as you sat now sort of in front of him, he guided his hand up to your face and moved your hair out of the way. He tucked in what he could behind your ear, a few pieces falling still. You looked up at him and he could finally see… and feel just how distraught you were. 
“He cares that I get good grades.” You finally croaked out. 
Mick’s facial expressions now were the confusing ones. At first he was relieved you told him. The next second he was confused as to why that was the reason you were upset…. And the third was panic. And he’d never admit this to you, but if it were because of some guy at your school making fun of you for something like that… Oh he’d have some words with that person. 
“Oh… Ehmmm… Oh…” Mick pressed his lips together in confusion. You could see the gears moving in his head as he tried to figure out who you were talking about. 
“My dad.” You finally cut him off. He looked as though he was about to give himself an aneurysm if you didn't stop him from thinking so hard. 
“Oh.” 
Now, Mick has always had his suspicions about your home life. For instance, when you didn’t come to class one day when you two were younger, the teacher had made a comment about if he knew about your home life or not. He then went to his father and asked advice. He let it go for the time being, because you really weren’t absent a lot, but he made sure make a mental note for later. Seemingly, you had a pretty decent home life. You got along with your older brother, and you always said your mom was one of your best friends. Albeit, you never spoke much about your father. He was in the military and pretty high up in command. His job was very ‘hush hush,’ so even you, his daughter had limited if information on what he actually did as well. You always spoke about him with respect though, and never making it seem like there was anything going on at your house. 
But Mick… Mick was sorely mistaken. You were wearing a zip up jacket which wasn’t uncommon, but Mick did think it was a bit warm for it. He never would dream on commenting on what you were wearing though. Slowly, you peeled the jacket off of you and as slowly as you did, was as slowly as he could process what was in front of him.  
Your arms were littered with bruises. Not just bruises, fingerprints. Someone was pressing into your skin, your precious beautiful skin so hard that they left their fingerprints. Mick blinked quickly, trying to see if his brain was playing tricks on him. Soon enough, you took off your shirt as well. Mick didn’t even care to notice you in your sports bra. But there were even more bruises on your skin that you had been covering for some time now. Based on the yellowing on the biggest one near your ribs on your left side… You had gotten hurt a while ago. Yet, there were bruises on your back and your chest that indicated they were fairly new. Mick felt like his heart was going to explode and his brain was going to go with it. 
You allowed him to look at you - to process the information presented. You thought that showing instead of telling would be more effective, anyway. Moments later, you put your shirt back on and sighed. And if you weren’t sat in the middle of Mick’s backyard, you’d shed your leggings too to show the damage there.
Mick shakily breathed out your name, which he never called you. He always called you Smidge or Liebling - never your real name. He himself felt tears brimming in his eyes as he watched you put your shirt back on and throw your hair back into a ponytail. It was as though the visual he was getting was completely different from the mental images he was receiving. He couldn’t catch up and he just did not know what to do. 
“How long?”
Mick finally gained composure and demanded to know more. His tone was serious, short. He was never this… Cold with you? You could tell he was absolutely fuming too. The tips of his ears were turning red as his jaw pulsated with every clench of it. Now he was the one unconsciously grabbing clumps of grass and ripping them to shreds. 
“What???” You tilted your head. 
“How. Long. Has. He. Been. Beating. You.” The angrier he got the more German he got too. His accent was quite thick as he stood to his feet and began pacing. It was never a good sign when he would pace. His fists were wound up in tight balls, knuckles pale white with tension, as he thought of every scenario in which he could kill your father, and get away with it. 
“Mickey-“ 
“No, don’t you dare ‘Mickey’ me right now! How long has he been beating you up?” Mick cut you off and rushed towards you. He was just inches from you now. 
You knew he was angry, irate even. And you knew he’d never hurt you, and that this anger was not directed towards you. But on instinct, you backed up as your breath caught in your chest. 
Mick shook his head, running his hands through his hair. He knew his parents would be home soon and he knew if they saw how angry he was… They’d have questions, and he could never lie to them… Which means they’d figure out exactly what was going on with you… Which meant… Well, war. 
You took another deep breath and bravely closed the gap between you. You had never felt anything like you had before Mick. You had never had a boyfriend, nor any friends that even came close to the security you felt with him. You reached up and caressed his cheek, his face leaning into the palm of your hand. You almost never initiated physical touch besides leaning on him. But he always welcomed it no matter how limited it would be. He closed his eyes and grabbed your hand in his, the both of them interlocking as he nuzzled into your hand farther. 
“I…I can’t remember how long, Mickey. I can’t remember how long it’s been since it started.” 
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“I have done wrong, you build your tower
But call me home and I will build a throne
And wash my eyes out never again”
There were rare occasions that you and Mick were not together, but he was handsome and simply because of his surname, was like catnip to ladies. While you were still in Formula Three, Mick had graduated to Formula Two. Even so, having his last name meant he was probably getting more invites than the average person. 
But come on, no one is average in Monaco. 
“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” 
“Yeah, you too!” 
Women’s bathrooms at parties and clubs were something else. There was no caste system in place and if you needed to cry about your ex or needed to puke your brains out before Gasolina came on (but who wouldn’t), a women’s bathroom at a club felt like the safest place to do those things. 
“You’re with Shoemaker, right?” The very clearly drunk girl beside you yells in your face. Sure, you were also drunk… But why was she yelling? 
“Schumacher.” You corrected. 
“Yeah!! He has blond hair and is super hot? Yeah, dude, my friend was hardcore hitting on him and getting the vibe from him…” The girl beside you held in a burp… Or maybe she just was just not trying to puke in her mouth. 
“Sure, he’s handsome.” You finally answered. You just wanted to get some water. 
“Oooookay, well I th-think my girl is going to try and make a move on your friend,” The drunk girl slurred as she was trying to get the cap of her lipgloss separated from the tube of the glossy pink liquid. “I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything between you guys!” 
The girl began applying her lipstick as you tried to process what she was saying through your own drunken state. Finally, it all came together and you turned your head to face her. 
“You hunted me down just to ask me if your friend has permission to sleep with Mick?” You tried to sound as sober as possible. 
The girl shrugged her shoulders and shot a quick smile to you as she gathered her purse. 
“W-Well, you guys are always together! She just wanted to make s-sure you weren’t a thing.” You nodded as she finished speaking and primping her hair. 
And maybe it was because you were drunk, the emotion of jealousy arose in you. Luckily, your cheeks were already flush from the shots of tequila you consumed earlier. You were sure Mick always had girls trying to hit on him and maybe they were successful in doing so. Mick was an adult and as long as they were consenting adults too, what’s the harm in him having a little bit of fun? 
What’s the harm, right? 
“No, Mickey and I are not a thing. So, uh, tell your friend to not worry about - not to worry about me.” You finally responded as you blotted a cold and wet paper towel on your face. The girl grinned and blew a kiss in your general direction, soon then stumbling out of the bathroom just as clumsily as she had stumbled into it.
You took a few deep breaths and looked down at your phone screen. The letters were moving on the screen as you tried to focus your eyes long enough to reach the Uber app. You didn’t know why you wanted to leave all of a sudden. Consciously, you knew Mick had his pick of women and probably picked from them when he wanted to. Yet again the giant green monster clung to your chest as if it was part of your beating heart. Sloppily typing your location into Uber, you managed to click ‘Order.’ 
Your driver is 13 minutes away. 
You took one last look at the bathroom sink making sure that at the very least you had your wallet and hotel key card. Nodding to yourself, you made your way out of the bathroom and back into the sea of sweaty bodies and blasting music. The exit sign was aglow about 50 yards in front of you??? No - that can’t be right. 50 feet? 50… Dancing bodies? And as you did your best to toddle over to the exit, you finally managed to get out the door. 
The crisp, cool air was a refreshing touch after being in a crowded club for hours now. Frankly, you didn’t like going out to clubs, but Mick did and any chance to score some free tequila was always a win in your book. You leaned up against the wall beside the club closing your eyes. 
“Smidge? Was machst du hier draußen (What are you doing out here)?” A familiar voice, a very hoarse one at that brought you out of your drunken mini nap as you pried your dry eyes open to see who that was.
“Sie sollten nicht alleine draußen sein (You should not be outside by yourself).” 
Mick’s usual perfectly coiffed hair was messily atop his head as his porcelain cheeks were red with the heat of the club and many shots of jäger he did. He wore a simple dark blue button up and black jeans. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows lazily matching the state of his hair. You smiled at the boy in front of you and eyed his hair up and down. 
“I’m going home, Mickey. Well, not home-home.” You shrugged shoving your phone in his face. He backed up and his eyes squinted at the screen. 
Your driver is 8 minutes away. 
“Alright, Smidge.” Mick took a lean against the same wall just next to you. 
Your shoulders were barely touching when you could feel his fingers try and find yours as your arms were at your side. Your heartbeat began to pick up as your hand finally found his. And it wasn’t a full hand hold… Yet this felt much more intimate. Barely interlocking fingertips, he hummed softly to himself as he looked up at the night sky. 
“How did you even know I was out here? I thought you were getting hot and heavy with some chick somewhere.” 
Mick let out a breathy laugh. He shook his head in disbelief and smiled widely. 
“Hot and heavy?” He repeated in jest. 
“Shut up.” 
You rolled your eyes and tried your best not to look at him. You knew he was staring at you with those eyes and you also know you turn into a puddle when you look into them… especially when drunk. 
“But no, I was not getting hot and heavy with that chick somewhere.” Mick finally spoke. “I’ll always find you, Smidge. Ihre Sicherheit steht für mich an erster Stelle (Your safety is my number one concern).” 
“Ich bin erwachsen (I’m an adult).” You groaned looking at your phone screen. 
Your driver is 4 minutes away. 
The two of you stood again in silence as you still waited for your driver to arrive. Mick hummed to himself and suddenly, was kneeling on the ground. You looked down in utter confusion as he began to undo the clasps to your heels. He didn’t say a word as he managed to effortlessly undo both shoes of yours… And you were honestly impressed because you thought he was way more drunk than you. Taking something out of his own crossbody bag, he opened a tiny case and handed you some flats. You had told him a while ago about these ballet flats you saw on the internet that easily folded up for ease of access. You didn’t think he was paying attention, but there he was as he slipped the flats onto your feet and grabbed your heels. 
You were frozen in stance. He was acting so casually as he looked down the road for the driver. Your heels were in his one hand while the other reached behind him for your hand. Hesitantly, you placed your hand in his and walked over to the curb. 
“I think I see our driver.” 
“Our driver?” 
Your best friend and you exchanged equally as confused expressions. Mick’s expression was that of offense and disbelief, while yours was of perplexity and unsureness. 
“Well, yeah. I am not about to send you back to your hotel room in the middle of the night in Monaco - alone.” Mick stressed and stretched out the last word as if it were supposed to be something completely obvious to you. 
“Again though, I am an adult, Schumacher.” 
Soon enough, the Uber driver pulled up to the curb and rolled down his driver’s window. The driver asked you for your name and as you recited your first and last name for some odd fucking reason, Mick opened the back door for you and ushered for you to get into the car. You eyed him carefully trying to decode his actions. Sliding into the car and putting your seat belt on, you were surprised when Mick also slid into the car. 
“Can I change the address of the Uber? I will pay whatever you need to do so.” Mick chirped as he leaned towards the driver. 
Your best friend and the driver exchanged the how’s of it all, and finally the car began to drive away from the still busy club scene. 
“Why did you give him your address?” You whispered. You could feel the alcohol still inside yourself, swimming in your veins. 
“Alone. Hotel room. Alone. Monaco. Alone-“
It was as though Mick was reciting the Winter Soldier’s trigger words. He spewed off the reasons and tried to also go through the whole ‘Concern for your safety,’ lecture one more time, this time with more emphasis. And truly, you didn’t know what came over you - or maybe you did and maybe those tequila shots were in fact a terrible idea - but as he was ranting and raving about the streets of Monaco and how (and this was very true) unsafe it was to be a woman alone at this time of night, you leaned over and cut him off with a press of your lips to his. 
Mick’s hands found your waist as you had your hands on either side of his face. You had to remind yourself that you were still in the back of the Uber. Pulling away, you could see how glassy his eyes were, yet still filled with the same affectionate expression he always had towards you. Cuddling and tucking yourself into his side, you could hear him humming as he draped a hand over you. 
“Thanks, and sorry for the confusion earlier.” Mick gave the driver an extra cash tip before the two of you made it to his condominium. 
Mick drunkenly fumbled with his keys with one hand while holding yours with his other hand. You tried to pry your hand from his so he could have an easier way of unlocking his front door, but the grip he had on you said otherwise. 
“If I can have a super license… I can open the door with one hand, Smidge.” The front door finally swung open after what felt like an eternity.  
The two of you shed your shoes and as he plopped your heels down on the counter and washed his hands, you managed to find some food in his fridge. 
“I’m drunker than I thought…” Mick mumbled as he came up behind you, his arms wrapping around you. You ever so slight leaned your head back so your the sides of your heads were touching. 
And as you both looked at the inside of the fridge, not wanting to move, you could only turn around to face the boy. You put your arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his forehead. The intimate act was not lost on Mick, either. And this time his hum sounded differently than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you tightly to his body. 
Finally as you two peeled apart, you grabbed a few beers and some leftover pizza, turning on your heel. Mick followed you as you navigated your way into his room. Well, he’d also just follow you anywhere, but as you entered his room, he could swear he was dreaming. 
Mick helped you put the food and beer down and told you he was just going to changed into sweats as he disappeared into his bathroom. At the same time, you rummaged through his closet and drawers to find clothes. You dawned one of his old Ferrari shirts and some shorts you found that actually fit you.
After you both had changed, you got comfortable and sat on his bed criss cross waiting for him to come back. Mick was in his bathroom, his sweats already on, but his mind racing a mile a minute. 
You both were way too drunk (even if it didn’t seem like it) to take things anything further, but for some reason tonight the ambience was much different - more intimate. It was the feeling he so desperately longed for you to feel as well. He’d never force you or guilt you into feeling the way he always has for you, but he was just happy to be able to be there for you when you reciprocated. 
Even if it was just for one night… Mick kept repeating in his head as he splashed his face with water. 
Mick exited the bathroom and smiled softly at the sight in front of him. You were absolutely glowing and the fact that you were wearing his clothes was even better. This was the life he wanted with you, and he knew he’d wait an eternity to earn it. And in any lifetime, he would want to find you, he knew that much to be true. 
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“Skin too tight and eyes like marbles
You spin me high, so watch me as I glide
Before I tumble homeward, homeward”
Mick was absolutely dominating Formula Two, just as he did in Formula Three. So there you were visiting Mick the day before free practice was going to start in Silverstone. 
He knew that your mother had just been diagnosed with cancer and that your time was vastly being taken up by transporting her from place to place when you could. Mick would always offer to help, but you didn’t want him to get involved in your family drama… Well, with your father. 
“I think you’re going to do great things tomorrow, Mickey.” You smiled widely as you went to reach for something in the cupboard above you. The two of you were at his hotel room as he relaxed after a hard day of training and sim driving. 
“You always say that, Smidge.” Mick peered over his shoulder to you, his eyes half focused on the video game’s loading screen in front of him. 
The sound of dishes breaking quickly pulled him out of his half trance. He was on his feet and over to you as fast as Edward stopped that van crashing into Bella. 
Your hand had been cut by the falling and breaking glass, the blood slowly beginning to pour out of the wound. You were praying you didn’t have to get stitches. 
Mick responded hastily, grabbing the nearest dish towel and wrapping your hand with it. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. He repeated in the back of his head as he pressed gently to your palm. 
“I could have helped you, Smidge.” Mick broke the silence as you winced at his touch. As he helped you to your feet, he guided your hand under the now streaming water. 
“I’m a big girl, Mickey.” You retorted, clearly aware that you were contradicting yourself as he washed your wound of any passing infections. 
He just hummed in response as he shut the water off and examined your hand. He repeated that he thinks you didn’t need stitches, and that he would return shortly the first aid kit. True to his word, he gestured for you to take a seat on the couch. It was as if he knew exactly what you were thinking too, the way his touch was almost nonexistent because it was so soft as he bandaged your hand. Oddly though, you cowered in pain as he moved your arm to the side. It was an unseemly way of moving it, too as Mick tried to see if the bandage was tight enough on the side of the hand he couldn’t see. 
Mick cocked his head to the side and stared at you with one look: That better not have been because of what I fucking think it is. 
You hesitated being the one to break the looming silence between you two now, but you thought if you didn’t he’d say it aloud - and to have someone else say it aloud was sometimes worse than you admitting it. 
“It’s not what you-“ 
“Show me.” Mick cut you off, his deepening blue eyes piercing the air with every hyperbole you could think of. 
“Mickey, it’s really nothing. You just moved my arm a weird way, I’m okay.” 
“Show. Me. Now.” 
And as you always do what you’re told, you lifted your shirt slightly and before you could even take it off, Mick was stood on his feet and typing something into his phone. He didn’t utter a word to you for the next several minutes, he was just typing furiously on his phone. You had put your shirt back on and remained silent and sat on the hotel’s couch. You knew there was no stopping whatever he was doing. 
“I have to finalize it, but you are to have security now. One guard, or eighteen, I do not care - You are no longer going to be alone.” 
“Mick, I can’t have a security guard. I don’t even want one.” You took a deep breath and exhaled. 
“I do not fucking care! I don’t! I really do not fucking care.” Mick had slammed his phone down on the counter making you flinch. 
Fuck. And as he watched you carefully, you began to sob for only the third time in your entire friendship. Mick cursed himself in all the languages he knew as he approached you with trepidation. Sitting beside you, he began to mutter apology after apology, also in every language he could muster up in that moment. Mumbling again to himself, he grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch  and wrapped you both in it. You were still crying as you tucked yourself safely into his side. You felt badly for staining his shirt. 
“Ich weiß nicht, was ich tun soll (I don’t know what to do).” You spoke in a whisper as you gripped onto his shirt with dear life. 
And frankly, maybe his way was a bit extreme, but he only had one train of thought as he hummed between the two of you, his arm tightening around you. 
Take you far away from him and bring her home to you, Schumacher. 
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
“I know I tried, I was not stable
Flawed by pride, I miss my sanguine eyes
So hold my hands up, breathe in and breathe out”
As school children, it seemed like the two of you were inseparable. There were weekends where you didn’t see him, of course, but you’d always get to talk on the phone after his karting events. You truly appreciated the way his family opened up their home and arms to you, as well. You really didn’t know how much they knew about your own home life, but it was something to be said that they never invaded your privacy. 
Mick had finished second in his karting race, which wasn’t the result he obviously was vying for, but it was amazing nonetheless. As his family made their way back to the hotel room, he got cleaned up and made his way over to the tiny kitchen. 
“Has she called yet?” Mick’s small voice interrupted his mother’s train of thought. 
“No, baby. But I will let you know when she does; I always do.” Mick’s mother reassured him as he frowned and walked towards the tv area of the hotel room. 
Mick’s mother sighed and watched her son sulk on over to the couch. She knew how much he cared for you, and even as young as he was, she also knew he loved you. He might have not known it was love at the time, but she knew all the signs of it and he exhibited every single one of them. She put away whatever she was working on, and made her way over to the couch. She sat beside her son and grabbed his hand reassuringly. 
“Is there something wrong, Sohn (son)?” 
“She never is this late to call me, Mama…” He quietly uttered. “I think there is something wrong.” 
While his mother pressed for more information he truly didn’t have, he tried his best to vocalize all the things he noticed about you that were not typical. His mother began piecing the tiny bits of information he was giving to her together and all she could was sigh. She couldn’t have fathomed what you were going through at home and maybe Mick didn’t realize the signs as he listed them off for her, but she sure did. Part of her wanted to do something about too, right then and there… But it wasn’t totally her place either. She didn’t know the severity of the situation or if Mick was retelling things as correctly as a young boy could. All she could do was put it in the back of her head and make note of it. 
A few hours later, Mick’s mother entered the room where Mick was relaxing on the full sized bed. He was playing some game on his Gameboy, his tongue slightly hanging out in pure concentration. She cleared her throat and handed him her phone. It took him a second to register what was happening, but as soon as it clicked he put his Gameboy down and grabbed the phone excitedly. Mick’s mother couldn’t help but smile as she left her son to his own devices. 
“Smidge! Finally, you call. I have been waiting all afternoon for you to call!” Mick was energized now as he set up on his bed. He could hear you shuffling around, presumably trying to find a place to sit. 
“I’m sorry I’m late.” 
Now, Mick was around a lot of loud karts and when he’d go to his dad’s races, those were even louder. Was his hearing as bad as it was at his age or were you being abnormally quiet? 
“Smidge? I can barely hear you! You have got to learn to speak up on the phone.” 
Again, you said something but he could barely understand it. He tried to push you to speak louder as he pressed the phone to his ear as closely as he humanely could. 
“Es tut mir… Leid. Ich… verstecke… mich und muss… flüstern… (I’m sorry. I’m hiding and I have to whisper).” You finally sputtered out in broken German. 
Mick’s eyes widened as he finally understood what you were telling him. He didn’t care if you spoke an entirely different language, he would do anything he could to understand you. 
“Vor wem versteckst du dich (Who are you hiding from)?” Mick was fully sat up, his legs dangling off the side of the bed now as he was on alert. It took you another few moments to gain enough bravery to speak. 
“I’m hiding from-“ 
Suddenly, you were cut off by a booming voice. The voice was deep and loud enough that Mick could hear it over the phone. He pulled the phone away from his ear as he tried not to be afraid. The voice on the other line was muddled, but Mick picked up a few things here and there. 
“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PHONE?” 
“NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, GIRL!” 
“I’m sorry, dad! I’m sorry, please!” Your voice was frantic as you defended yourself to the best of your ability. 
Mick was rushing now to where his mom sat on that same couch. He gestured for her to put it on speaker and listen too. Mick’s mother’s expression fell as she listened to absolute abuse you were going through and she knew right then and there, it would be something she would have to do something about. 
“Shut up! Shut the fuck up, you stupid little girl!” 
“Daddy, please-“ 
And then the line went dead, with the sound of your phone being crushed - stepped on in brute force. 
Your voice was so tiny as you shrunk into yourself. You had no intention of allowing the Schumacher’s to hear that part of your life. You were deeply worried that they were going to try and intervene now and make matters… worse? You had a million thoughts going a million miles a minute. 
But just as fast as those thoughts raced through your mind, was just as fast as your father stepped the phone. Mick knew you would deny everything, or at least tell him that your father was just exceptionally upset that day. He knew you’d come up with any and every excuse to protect the very man who was supposed to be protecting you. Mick couldn’t comprehend any of it. But he knew he would be there for you to make sure when you were ready, and you let your guilt be washed away… That he would make certain you never hurt again. 
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
“And in the middle of the night, I may watch you go
There'll be no value in the strength of walls that I have grown
There'll be no comfort in the shade of the shadows thrown
You may not trust the promises of the change I'll show
But I'd be yours if you'd be mine”
Mick and the rest of his family were on a short summer break in Australia. He offered for you to join him as he always wants you by his side, but due to your mother’s declining health you had to refuse. Of course he understood, but he was still disappointed. He remembered distinctly you telling him that Australia was one of your favorite places and that you wish you could move there one day. 
And it being summer in Australia, the sun was sweltering and Mick was trying not to get sunburnt as he sat under the tree near the lake where his family was staying. There was an old bench swing attached to the large branches above it. Mick debated the stability of the swing and the branches, but eventually gave in and sat on it. Gently swinging back and forth, he took in the scenery and the sight of the beautiful vast lake in front of him. 
He missed you. And sure he missed all his other friends, but you weren’t just anybody else. He missed you. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and searched for your name. Opening up the text message thread between you two, he began to type. 
Smidgen ❤️: Smiiiiiiiidge, i misssssssss you!! 
You were at your mother’s house, trying to spend as much time with her as you could. She was taking a nap in the recliner beside you when you heard your phone ding. 
You: Mickey, you sound drunk. Are you drunk? You know you’re not supposed to text people when you’re inebriated 😅
Mickey 🐭:  Never! But I am not drunk, I just miss you. 
You: Mick, you always miss me. How is Aussie? 
Mickey 🐭: Boring without you.
You: As are most things. I’m sorry I couldn’t join you this year. 
On the other side of the world, Mick sighed as you two continued to text. He loved his family and he loved his off time, but a deep seated part of him that had been growing and growing over so many years worried about you being by yourself. What if something were to happen and he was three continents away from you? What if he couldn’t protect you? You had always tried to reassure him that you could take care of yourself when he would be away, and that typically when you were at your mother’s house, you in fact were left undisturbed. 
He knew this. But he didn’t care for it nonetheless. 
Another two weeks went by on his vacation and as he tried to keep busy with various adventurous activities, the image of your smile and the sound of laughter filled his brain as if it they were always meant to be there, resting neatly in the crevices of his mind. 
There was only about a week and a half left before he got to go back home to Germany. Mick was sprawled out on his bed, listening to some music. Soon, the sound of the doorbell ringing caught his attention. He was the only one currently home, so he annoyingly turned his music off and got up to go see what the fuss was about. Upon opening the door he was stopped in his tracks. He practically had to scoop his jaw off of the floor. 
“Smidge? Do my eyes deceive me?” You shook your head with a grin. 
Mick engulfed you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground and peppering your face with kisses. He was always very affectionate with you. He brought you inside and gathered his breath back into his lungs. You had a duffel bag and a backpack with you that you managed to set down finally after the long awaited reunion was over. Looking around the house that was clearly lived in, you turned back to your best friend. He was grinning one of the biggest grins you had ever seen on his face while he grabbed two water bottles. Opening yours for you, he handed you the bottle and waited for you to sip it. 
“I cannot believe you are here! I think this is the happiest I have ever been.” 
“I can see that!” You laughed along with him as you took a few more sips of water. You sighed happily as you put the cap back on the bottle. “Is there a place I can put my stuff?” 
Mick nodded with elation as he grabbed your two bags. Gesturing with his head, he motioned for you to go towards his room. You opened the door and saw that the bed was made and it was fairly clean. It was almost as if he knew you would come here. Mick set down the bags and awaited for you to finish your scan of the room. You turned around and didn’t realize how closely he was standing behind you, as you collided with his body. He used his hands to steady you and definitely took the opportunity to bring you into another hug. The smell of his cologne was familiar; safe. You nuzzled into his chest as his arm found solace wrapped around your body. 
He didn’t know why you were here, and he really didn’t care, but he also knew that there was probably a good reason. It had to have been a good reason if you left your mother with her home care nurse, instead of… 
Suddenly, Mick braced for the worst. 
“Mick… Mick, you’re squeezing me too tightly.” You croaked out trying to unravel yourself from him. Immediately, he loosened his grip on you and smiled slightly. 
“Sorry, Smidge. I just missed you a lot.” The two of you made your way to his bed and laid down on it together. 
You easily found your way to the side of him and nestled in comfortably while he rested his head on top of yours. 
“As glad as I am that you are here… Is your mother…?” Mick awkwardly tried to start a conversation. He needed to know one way or the other. 
“She’s alive, Mick. She’s alive.” 
The blond boy sighed a sigh of relief, pulling you even closer to him. He could feel his body relax and his body temperature increase when you would cuddle him. He didn’t respond to you, only hummed in consolation. 
It had happened before in Monaco, the overwhelming feeling that you needed more from him. He didn’t pry further as to why you were there, and maybe that was a big reason as to why you were feeling pulled to him. For once, he didn’t press you to explain yourself or question why you bought a plane ticket all the way to Australia when your mother was as sick as she was. He simply was there to be there, and that meant more to you than anything at that moment. 
You climbed on top of him, your bodies finding their ways around each other. Your legs were on either side of him as you sat on his torso. His hands found your hips, his eyes finding yours. And as glanced down at the boy below you, you wondered to yourself if this was always how it was supposed to be between the two of you. Leaning down and closing the gap between you, you again pressed your lips against his. 
It was more fervent this time though. The catastrophic and carnal need to feel his hands roam your body and his lips claim yours as his overwhelmed your senses as your body melted into his. He was vigilant as he explored your body with his hands, making sure he wasn’t hurting you. You had to take a breath between the multiple shows of endearments between the two of you. His eyes were glued to you as you sat back up on his torso. Peeling your shirt off, you tossed it somewhere. Mick just watched in adoration as you removed your bra as well. He looked at your body on top of his as though you were sculpted by DaVinci himself. And by all accounts, you were.  
You blushed at the attention he was giving you, only to remove yourself from sitting on top of him. He frowned and wondered if he did anything wrong. But before he could begin mentally listing things he could have done wrong, you tugged on his own shirt. He sat up and reached his hands back behind his head. 
“Can I?” You interjected quickly your eyes filled with curiosity.
Mick just smiled and nodded. He let his shirt fall again and waited for you to approach him. You scooted closer to him and took a deep breath in and released. Sure, you had seen him shirtless countless amounts of times, but this was much, much different. You didn’t mind it. 
Your fingers found the hem of his shirt and with a trying motion, you began to pull the shirt over his head. He assisted you a bit, his broad shoulders getting in the way of you being able to pull the shirt completely over his head. Your fingers began to dance down his chest, the circles and trails they were leaving behind was a feeling Mick would never forget. Still sitting up, you climb into his lap and had your legs on either side of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gently tugged at the hair on the nape of it. Again, with a hunger and desperation you had never felt before your lips crashed into his and his hands found your hair in a hurried attempt to get as close to you as possible. 
He never wanted to let go of you and the feeling that came with this. He had loved you for so long. And to have you here, in his bed, making it known that maybe… just maybe you loved him too… He didn’t want to wake up tomorrow morning. He didn’t want it to be a dream. 
“Bist du sicher (Are you sure?)” Mick finally breathed out in between sloppy kisses. You gleamed at him, your lips swollen with fervor. Biting your bottom lip, you nodded. “I need words, schätzen. I need you to say-“ 
“Yes. I’m sure, Schumacher.” 
Mick pulled you in again, his lips finding your neck as he peppered it with kisses, sucking ever so prudently as he made his way up and down the soft skin of your neck. 
You didn’t know what would come after this, after everything was said and done… But for now and just for now, you wanted to be his just as much as he wanted to be yours. 
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
current day 
“So love the one you hold
And I will be your goal
To have and to hold
A lover of the light” 
It had to remain to be seen how long Hamilton was going be out of the season. He was going through some personal issues and while you knew Silverstone was going to be your first race, you didn’t expect to have to race before that. And of fucking course your first race is Monaco. You were busy training and preparing for the course, trying your best to keep a strong head on your shoulders. There was so much pressure with you being the first female driver and Monaco being your first official race, that you began to feel nauseous. Finding the nearest bin, you excreted the contents of your stomach into it, grimacing at the bitter taste that came afterwards. 
“Kiddo? Are you right?” Daniel’s thick accent interrupted you washing of your hands. 
“Yeah, fine. I’m just nervous.” You washed your mouth out with the sink water and wiped it on the nearest towel. 
“I get that…” Daniel looked around the paddock as you followed him with your eyes. “Hey, do ya think we can go somewhere private, to chat?” 
You cautiously nodded and led him to your driver’s room, shutting the door behind you. 
“What’s this about, Dan?” 
Daniel awkwardly sat down on the chair and ran a hand through his curls. Making a few tiny popping sounds with his mouth he finally looked at you. 
“Is there, uh, something goin’ on with you and Mick?” 
“What do you mean?” 
Sure, you two weren’t talking as much anymore. And you didn’t think it was that obvious, but you remained stoic trying to gauge where this conversation was headed to. 
“He’s been like, really, weird.” Daniel struggled to get the words out as he scrunched up his face. 
“Uh… I’m sorry that’s he’s been acting funnily, but maybe he’s going through something on his own.” You shrugged your shoulders. 
“Well… I mean… He’s acting like, more, sulky than usual?” Nodding along as the Aussie driver continued to list off reasons as to why and how he was more sulky, you finally stopped him before he said anything else. 
“I’ll talk to him, don’t worry, Dan. I’m sure it’s nothing.” You shot him a smile and waited for him to respond. 
“He loves you, you know. Like, a lot. Like more than the average man has the capacity for love.” You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. 
The last time you two had really spoken in person was when you ended up fighting. You knew he loved you. You knew he was in love with you… But he also knew that you try so hard to not allow yourself to be vulnerable like that. And maybe the relationship was physically reciprocated, Mick struggled with the fact that it was not emotionally reciprocated more than anything. You loved him, sure. He was your best friend… But the voice inside your head knew that for your own protection, you shouldn’t be allowed to love anyone… Especially Mick. You didn’t deserve him and he didn’t deserve someone who has made him wait this long for something he so desperately craved. All you could do was reiterate that you’d talk to him and try to get him to be less-sulky. 
The Australian soon left the room and you were alone. Pulling out your phone, you quickly dialed Mick. 
“Schätzen, is that you? Are you okay?” Mick’s tone was immediately serious as he answered the phone. You two were barely talking and now you were calling him. 
“I’m fine, Mickey. I just wanted to know if you wanted to get dinner tonight.” 
“Tonight?” Mick was fumbling with something on the other end. It was odd too that he didn’t immediately accept your dinner invitation. 
“Is tonight not a good night for you?” 
Soon, your heart dropped once again and as it lay wafting in the pit of your stomach, you could feel whatever contents were left in there if any, slowly creeping their way back up your throat. 
“Who is that?” It was a woman’s voice. She was giggling. “Ugh, Mickeyyyy, hang up!!!” 
Mickey. 
No one else called him that except for you, in fact he made it a point to not allow it. That name was reserved for you… So you thought. 
Mick mumbled something to her in French, his hand covering the microphone. 
“Yeah, I could make tonight-“ 
“Nevermind, you’re busy and I don’t want you to give up your evening just for me.” Your tone as surprising as it was to you, was actually quite genuine. You never wanted him to feel like he couldn’t have fun. 
“Smidge, I can-“ 
“No, seriously it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Mick continued to move around where he was, the thick accent of her Monegasque-ness peeking through the phone call.  
If your German was terrible, your French was even worse. You sighed to yourself and decided to hang up the phone. He wasn’t paying attention to the conversation and you didn’t want to pay attention anymore. Rubbing your eyes, you grabbed your backpack and headed out of the paddock to your car. 
There was something that had changed so quickly about your surroundings. As you reached for your keys it was if the wind was knocked out from your lungs. You slowly turned around, keys still in your hand. 
How the fuck did he find you here of all places? 
“Hello, daughter. Shall we have it out at your place of… work… Or is there somewhere I can knock some fucking sense into you?” 
You looked around at the parking lot and by every strand of bad luck, it was seemingly empty and you two were the only ones there. You had every intention of shutting it down, right then and there, but you stood frozen in front of the man who was supposed to love you, but instead you spent your entire life picking up the pieces of the mess he made. Some of the pieces were even lost in the trauma of trying to keep your composure long enough to get where you were. Mick was always the one to lend you the broken parts that seemed to fit perfectly, just so you could have the wherewithal to start over again… And again, and again, and again… 
“Did you suddenly go mute? Answer me.” You flinched in response, your back hitting your car behind you. You could just hear him calling you pathetic. You knew he was thinking it. 
“I can drive us to my hotel room. Just… Just don’t make a scene, okay?” 
Your father rolled his eyes as he snatched the car keys from you. With your head hung like you were a little girl in trouble again, you trudged over to the passenger’s side. You placed your backpack in the back seat and waited for your father to drive off and take you hopefully to your hotel room. 
What seemed like a century later, you two were up in your hotel room. You stood on opposite ends of the living space provided. 
“This is quite fancy. How can you afford it?” 
“Formula One pays well, but I know you’re not here to talk about my job.” You were short with him, trying to keep your emotional and mental distance. “Why are you here, dad? I’m very busy and-“ 
He hastily closed the distance between you, grabbing the back of your head, clumps of hair intertwining with his knuckles. Forcing you to look up at him, his glaring and empty eyes matched his unwavering stoicism. He squinted at you, smirking. 
“Pathetic. You’ve always been fucking pathetic.” Releasing your hair, your father smacked you in the face, causing you to be  tossed to the ground, by brute force. He was now circling you like a vulture does a dead zebra. You didn’t dare look up at him. You remained submissive on the floor, making certain that you didn’t shed a tear. 
“Where’s your boyfriend now, huh? Not coming to your fucking rescue this time?” You didn’t answer. 
With a swift kick to your side you fell over on the cold floor and held your ribs in pain. Still, you did not cry.  
“Answer me! I asked you a goddamn question!” 
You opened your eyes to find your father towering over you still, sure as hell ready to deliver another kick to your side. 
“He’s out with friends! Out with friends!” You repeated in complete fear. You could hear your father scoff and walk away from where you were. 
You thought that would be the last of it, and as you began to get up there was another kick to your side. This time it was a little lower as you felt the pain radiating up and down your leg. He must’ve hit your thigh or something. 
You were breathing heavily, doing all you could not to cry. After he got a good look at you, he threw your phone down at your feet. He surely shattered your screen. And fuck if it if he didn’t know what he was doing, because he did in fact kick in places you could cover up. And even so, you the blow to your face wasn’t hard enough to leave a lasting mark. Just one for the time being. Fuck. 
Soon enough, you could hear the hotel room slam. You were sure you were going to get complaints from other hotel goers, because it ended up shaking the walls. With every bit of strength you had, you reached for your phone. The screen was indeed cracked, but still usable. You knew that Mick was out and occupied… Your heart cried hoping that where he was, he’d hear you and come… But you also didn’t want to bother him… You leaned up against the wall, your breathing shallow. Looking at the phone screen you dialed the only other person you could think of. 
On the third ring, they answered and you resented how happy they sounded. 
“Oi! Can’t get enough of me, huh?” Daniel’s accent poked through the phone as you tried to gain enough composure. 
You were afraid of him seeing you like this, because you were one hundred percent sure he had no idea what abuse you’ve gone through your entire life. It was strictly need to know between you and the Schumacher’s. Releasing the pent up air in your lungs finally, you stuttered out his name. 
“Wait, wait, what happened?” Daniel’s tone of voice suddenly changed as you repeated as best as you could the turn of events. You could hear him grabbing his car keys and leaving his apartment. 
“I’m sorry, Dan. I’m so sorry… I’m sorry…” You were incessantly repeating, your sobbing growing louder and louder. He was trying his best to reassure you through the phone. He instructed through his own panic to stay on the phone with him until he got to you. 
You obeyed as you always did. 
You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but you heard a knock on the hotel door that scared you half to death. Maybe it was your father coming back to finish what he started. 
“Hey, it’s Dan. Can you let me in or are you…” Daniel’s voice trailed off into hopelessness. He didn’t want to imagine to you were so hurt you couldn’t even answer the door. 
Groaning loudly, holding your side trying to support every weary step you took towards the door, finally you managed to turn the handle enough where Daniel could just push it open. You stumbled backwards as you had to find somewhere to lean up against. 
Daniel’s brown eyes were immediately scanning every inch of your body, trying to decode your physical state. You were keeled over the tiny kitchen counter provided. Your shoulders rose and fell far too slowly for anybody’s liking. He saw how swollen and red your cheek had become and there was an emotion begin to bubble in his stomach and protrude through his chest that he rarely ever felt. His kind hand reached out to rub your back, being so careful that he didn’t hurt you. Daniel helped you over to the couch and sat you down. He didn’t dare say words but he knew you would tell him when you were ready. 
“He found me at the track… Took my keys and made me tell him where my hotel was…” 
Daniel nodded cautiously along, his eyes painstakingly wide as he did his best to take in the information. 
“I didn’t have a choice… I didn’t want… Fuck…” 
“Hey, it’s… Take your time.” Daniel wanted to say that it was okay, but clearly… it was definitely not. You took another deep breath. 
“He just came out of nowhere and grabbed me by my hair, and started yelling at me…. Then slapped me or something… And i fell to the ground…” 
Daniel gulped in absolute horror as he did his best to try and keep composure, clenching his jaw so hard he thought he might break a tooth. 
“He kicked me in my ribs and in my right leg… I think… I can’t even… Remember…. Then he threw my phone at my feet and left…” 
The Aussie boy next to you licked his lips in anxiety and you could see out of the corner of your eye how hard he was gripping the sofa beneath him. A familiar sight to you, as he white knuckled the cloth. Now, it was his turn to take a deep breath. 
“Listen, this not your fault and I don’t want you to ever think that it is, alright?” You nodded to his words, unable to make eye contact out of shame and guilt. “I’m going to get some ice, right? It’s just down the hallway. I’m going to take the room key so you can stay here with the door locked.” 
Daniel did one more visual pass over you as you slumped to the side of the couch. You were exhausted on all fronts. You knew though you couldn’t fall asleep, in case you had a concussion too. He left the room shortly and as he ventured down to where the ice machine was he was furiously dialing Mick. But to no avail, he wasn’t answering his phone. 
DannyRic to MickSchu: Mick!!! Mate!!! Pick up the phone or like, come to the hotel!! She’s in a bad way, mate. And fuck, there’s only so much I can do. 
DannyRic to MickSchu: I’m going to murder you mate, please pick up the phone! 
Daniel shot off a few more panicked texts after those before he reached the ice machine. He figured you wouldn’t want him texting any other person either. All he could do was wait. He filled the ice bucket and practically sprinted back to your hotel room. Opening the door with the key, he announced himself so as not to scare or startle. You lifted your head and watched him get a towel to wrap the ice in so it wouldn’t burn your skin. Your eyelids felt heavy and your body broken. 
If you died tonight, that would be better than anything to follow. 
Daniel stuck around for a few more hours, keeping you company as he made sure you got something to eat and drank water as best as you could. He tried to also convince you to tell Toto that you couldn’t race tomorrow in free practice… But that was immediately shut down by you. Daniel didn’t want to fight that battle when there were other matters to attend to. 
You could see that it was now dark out, and you had to go to sleep at some point. Sighing to yourself, you turned towards the very tired Aussie. 
“I need to shower, Dan… Could you maybe, help me get, in there?” 
The Australian’s brown eyes widened so much they encompassed his entire face. 
“I, uh… Yeah, I can, uh, do that for you.” Daniel stuttered out as he rose to his feet. 
Reaching out a hand towards you, he helped you up and over to the bathroom. He was going to kill Mick for not answering his phone. And Mick was going to kill Daniel for seeing you naked. But what other choices were there? The two of you made it into the bathroom and he motioned for you to sit on the toilet seat. 
“Can you raise your arms up at all? I don’t want to have to cut your shirt.” Daniel chuckled nervously. You only nodded with a smile, lifting your arms as far as you could. 
“Fuck… I forgot… Fuck…” You cowered in pain as you held your left side. “Okay, I can do it. Just, uh, if you need to stretch out the shirt to get it over my head. I don’t mind.” 
He complied with his famous smile and soon your shirt was off and to the side. He could see the forming bruise on your rib cage and couldn’t imagine how much pain you were in internally. He kept his thoughts to himself as he helped you step out of your jeans. Down to your underwear and bra, the tall Aussie just stood there. 
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked. throwing a wink at him. You might as well break the tension with a joke. “But, I really think I got it from here. Thank you so much, Dan.” You placed a kiss on his cheek and as he made his way out of the bathroom, he could hear you singing to yourself before the sound of the water escaping the shower head covered your voice. 
He once again took his phone out and finally saw that he had a lot of missed messages from Mick. 
(14) Missed Calls from: Mick Schumacher 
(29) Text Messages from: Mick Schumacher 
Daniel looked through all the texts as fast as he could, but the only watch catching his eye that his friend would be over soon… And that was… About twenty minutes ago… Which means… 
“Smidge! Smidge! Let me in, it’s Mick! Let me in, or I swear-“ 
Daniel opened the hotel door and immediately was greeted by a very distraught man. He let Mick in, and let Mick scour the hotel space like a bloodhound looking for a missing person. Mick stopped short of the shut bathroom door, as he could hear the water running. 
“What happed, Daniel? Fuck! I should’ve been here, fuck, fuck, fucking fuck!” Mick didn’t allow enough time for Daniel to answer before he was practically foaming at the mouth with rage. If it weren’t a hotel room - your hotel room, Daniel was 99% Mick would’ve started to punch the walls. 
“Mate, mate, calm down. I can’t talk to you when you’re like, all mad.” 
“She even asked me to come out to dinner tonight, and if I just had fucking said yes - God fucking dammit!” Mick didn’t know what to do with his body with the amount of pure, unadulterated fury riddled his body. “I’m so fucking stupid! Ich bin so ein Idiot (I’m such an idiot)!”
 
Mick continued to yell in German. Daniel could barely speak proper English, so he had no idea what he was saying. The rant was cut off though by the sound of the shower turning off in the distance. Mick took one deep breath and breathed out through his nose. 
“Thank you, Daniel… For being there for her.” 
Daniel put a supportive hand on his shoulder. Giving it a good squeeze, the two boys said goodbye to each other. Mick made Daniel promised not to tell a soul. And for the first time in his life, Daniel knew he was going to take this promise to the grave. 
Mick gained some more self control and pushed the bedroom door open slightly. Giving it a small knock, his voice immediately made you perk up where you were. 
“Kann ich den Raum betreten (Can I enter the room)?” 
Still wrapped in a towel, you slowly made your way to the ajar door. 
“Bist du anständig (Are you decent)?”
“No, but come in anyway, please.” 
Mick opened the door further and saw that you were sat on the edge of the bed. The towel hugged you tightly, but he noticed you were gripping it as if it were going to fly away from your body. He rushed to your side and took you into his arms. He could tell you had been crying despite the shower. He didn’t even notice the tiny bruise forming on your face before immersing you into his embrace. Shortly after some time spent in his arms, you peeled away and finally made eye contact. 
Mick’s hand went to your bruised cheek, his thumb just above hovering the swelled skin. Your dad had never hit you in your face before, he always was so careful. Mick couldn’t help but stifle back some tears, his previous selfishness clouding his racing thoughts. 
“I need help getting dressed for bed, Mick.” 
He knew what that meant. He knew exactly what that meant, in fact. But without another word, he kissed your forehead and got up to go over to your suitcase. He took out some underwear and a t shirt. Carefully, he helped you step into your underwear, looking away when you needed to adjust the elastic. The air caught in your chest again as you tried to calm yourself. Mick hummed comfortingly and allowed you to take all the time you needed. Your hand was shaking as you began to take off the towel. You didn’t care about him seeing your chest, no. He’s already seen it. You were not wanting him to see how bruised your torso was and how big of a bruise there was on your thigh. But you had to, and so you did. 
Mick couldn’t find the words. He looked down at your bruising body, his lips beginning to tremble. He was shaking his head unable to believe that because of his own stupidity, your body was again bruised and broken. 
He helped you put a short on and helped you climb into bed. You just wanted to sleep and dream about a better day tomorrow. Mick made sure you were comfortable before going to turn off all the lights and making sure the hotel door was locked and dead-bolted. He made his way back to you and crawled into the bed with you. Your body was too sore to move around much, so Mick just went where you needed him to be. Soon after you tucked underneath his arm, he could hear you steadily breathing, the warmth and security of his body making you for the first time today feel human again. 
“I’m so sorry, Schätzen. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here…” Mick whispered into the air, not knowing if you were asleep or not. He knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep either. He wanted to stay awake as long as possible just in case your father decided to come back. 
“It’s fine, Mickey… Let’s just… Go to sleep…” Your voice was filled with fatigue as you began to doze off into unconsciousness. Mick pulled you closer into his body. 
The emotionally sapped German boy who you adored so much was laid there contemplating whether or not he deserved to be there beside you. If anything, Daniel would be the one that deserves this spot. He was there… He came when you called… He was everything Mick promised to be for you, but in failing to do so, Mick just stared at the ceiling frozen in regret. He could feel some tears falling down his face, wiping them quickly with his free hand. Mick took a deep breath once more and suddenly, his mind was made up. He had one goal in life now. He didn’t care about race car driving, or sponsorships… Hell, he didn’t even care about anything else at this point. Mick Schumacher vowed to himself that he would never allow anything else to happen to you from then on and out until the day he died. He knew it, you probably knew it even as you slept on his chest… There was one goal he had now. 
Mick Schumacher was going to find your father and make him pay. 
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TL;DR: This chapter depicts phases of reader's life as she navigates hiding the abuse she suffers from her best friend. He finds out and he vows to never allow her to be hurt again. There are emotional and romantic boundaries crossed in this chapter too, but nothing too explicit - Just the allusion to reader and Mick having sex. The last part is written for the current day. Reader's abusive father finds her after training and again physically abuses her. Daniel Ricciardo comes to her rescue as they both await Mick to arrive.
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https://www.helpguide.org/find-help
https://nomoredirectory.org/
https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/
https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations
https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world
These are some helpful links I found while searching the internet. Please do not hesitate to reach out for help for yourself or anyone you may know is involved in a violent and abusive situation.
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