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reiderwriter · 6 months ago

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Satisfaction Feels Like a Distant Memory

Chapter Three of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Your mounting attraction to Spencer Reid pushes you to the edge, turning begrudging friendship to deep hatred when he finally shows up on your doorstep. He's the only thing that can out you out of your misery even as you sink further into it.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, hate sex, rough sex, argument as foreplay, oral (f recieving) and face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, forced orgasms, "forced" submission, creampie, p in v penetrative sex, etc.

A/N: I've had about as much sleep as the reader in this fic has for the last week, but HERE IT IS! Chapter Three 🥰 You may need a bottle of water on standby, or at least a hand fan, because this one gets a bit heated....

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You hesitated in front of your office door, which you supposed was going to become a bad habit of yours now. You tried lying to yourself, that nothing was different now, that you weren't attracted to him in a completely stupid way, but you still stood frozen in front of your own office door.

Frozen and horny.

Shit.

You mentally went through a list of the worst things that could happen if you went in.

1. He was there.

2. He wasn't there.

3. He was there, and he touched you again, and you moaned.

4. He was there, and he didn't touch you again, but you still moaned.

5. He was there, and you threw yourself at him immediately because why wouldn't you when you'd seen what you could be working with the night before? Fuck moaning once, moaning multiple times as he pushed you against the bookshelf would-

“Are you gonna go in, or are you just going to fondle the door handle?” He asked from behind you. From too close behind you.

You turned, keeping the doorknob in your grin, and immediately flattened yourself against the door as he took a step closer.

So close. He was so fucking close and it was suddenly all you could think of.

“W-What?”

“You know, the CDC warns that door handles should be washed every 20 to 40 hours To prevent bacteria like Escherchia coli and Staphylococcus aureus from-” You ignored his words, drowning everything else out as you tried to dampen the fire burning under your skin.

“Cock?” You said, all attempts obviously not working.

“Staphylococcus, yes. It can cause Adenovirus, Rhinovirus, not to mention-”

“Okay! Okay, Spencer. Taking my hand off the handle now.”

Finally, you twisted it and walked backwards into your room, walking backwards a few steps before your foot caught on a stray pile of books.

“What the-” you cried, waiting for the impact of your landing as you swung out your arms frantically for purchase, screwing your eyes shut as you found none.

Instead, you found an arm snaked around your waist, another wrapping your hip tight as Spencer Reid cradled your body to his own.

“Thanks,” you breathed out, not even hearing the words yourself for how much air was in them. How was it possible to expel air and hold your breath at the same time? Because that was how it felt being in his arms: at once a sigh and a stopping of all bodily functions barring want.

“I thought this was your office, Y/N. Surely you should know the layout by now.”

Moment over. You pushed at his chest to stand upright, and he stepped backwards, removing his hands from your person.

“Very funny. We both know these are your books. Setting traps for me now, Spencer?”

You moved around the piles of books again as he flicked the light switch, moving the opposite way around your desks, before meeting you again next to yours.

“You're usually more observant than this. Is there something wrong today?”

“What, like Adenovirus or Rhinovirus?”

“No, like something…” he searched for the right words, pace slowing as he tried not to scare you away by talking with you like this.

“Like something on your mind.”

You snorted, leaning down to switch on your computer, and also to avoid his eye contact. Unfortunately, academic curiosity had gotten to you in the last few weeks, and you'd read some of his psychological papers. You knew exactly what it was the BAU was apparently so good at, and you didn't want him to know that you'd imagined him balls deep in you hours before.

“Not friends, Spencer. If there's something I need to talk about, I'll talk to a friend,” you said, standing straight again and turning to him again. You still avoided eye contact, but it didn't matter. His eyes weren't on your face but angled further down, like he'd been checking out your ass as you bent over or something.

No. No, you weren't going down that train of thought.

“Or even better, my therapist.” You were planning on the words being a bit more playful, but your voice came out deeper than you expected it, more gravely somehow.

Your bedroom voice, you were using your stupid fucking bedroom voice on Spencer Reid.

You cut yourself off again before you said anything else. Before he touched you or didn't touch you, and you got to test your earlier theory about which would be the more demeaning reaction.

“I have class in ten. Clean up before I get back,” you ordered, and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when he replied.

“I don't take direction well, Y/N.”

No, you didn't think he would. Neither did you though.

For a week, you tiptoed around the man, your words sharp, but your body weak to him.

By day, you were hurling insults back and forth, messing up his papers and screwing with him via bookshelf again.

“YOUR…FLY…IS….OPEN.”

“VERY….MATURE.”

“MADE…YOU…LOOK…THOUGH.”

“BUSY….LOOKING…AT…OTHER….THINGS.”

“LIKE…THE…UNDERGRADS…THROWING…THEMSELVES…AT…YOU…?”

“LIKE…THE…PROFESSOR…I'M APPARENTLY…DATING”

“Very fucking funny, Spencer,” you sighed at the last message, throwing the books off the shelf and pilling them up on the floor.

“Don't even for a second entertain the idea of making that gossip a reality.”

He grinned at you from behind his desk.

“Okay.”

“Don't even - don't even think about it,” you said, stepping over his desk and poking at his chest as his smile deepened.

“Heard.”

“I'm serious, Spencer, don't-”

“You've thought about it.” You froze in shock at his words, as if your blood wasn't sure whether to run cold or burn hot and fast.

“What?” You spat the words at him, unable to stop them coming out any other way.

“You've thought about entertaining the gossip. You've thought about it a lot.”

You needed to deny him, but he was right. By day, you tried to torment him, but by night, he did torment you. A week of wet dreams, of imagining him taking you over every inch of your office, of sleepless rest and failed orgams, and you could not escape.

“No,” you said with a whisper, shaking your head and trying again even as your voice cracked from the lie and your body's cry for pleasure, for this man.

“No, I haven’t- I don't-” You took a deep breath, but you knew it was no good, as his hand grabbed yours and flattened it against his chest.

“Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is heightened, and your legs are practically clamped shut. Your mouth is dry, and I'm not sure if you've noticed yet, Y/N, but you're shaking.”

“All signs of anger, Spencer, as you're well aware.”

He let go of your wrist and sat back in his seat, just out of reach of you again.

“Shame,” he whispered under his breath, nearly low enough that you didn't catch it, as he flipped open his book and continued whatever the fuck it was he even did in this office.

You ignored it, anger really flooding you now, warring the heat of arousal that was firmly settled in your body for dominance.

The anger won out.

You grabbed books from your desk, files, and papers from the side table by the couch and your laptop from your desk and left the room quickly.

You slammed the door, and you didn't look back, knowing that if you did, you'd see his winning smirk staring right back at you.

You marched yourself right to the staff administration office and put in for a week of leave. Spencer had one more week of work at the university, and then he would go back to being a regular FBI agent.

Your paths wouldn't cross because you wouldn't let them cross, not when it meant for certain that you would give in.

You spent the week working to distract yourself from work. You finished books for your next semester courses, highlighting the better articles and essays to use, going through each bibliography to find better sources if they weren't good enough. You wrote more of a research paper you didn't have time to think about with so much going on. You corresponded with students, with TAs, with the other professors who wanted to know where you were.

Okay, that was a lie. You aired the professors, but you did look out for any inboxes from him. Surprisingly, there were none.

You spent a week throwing yourself head first into your work, and still, each night, you felt his phantom touch on you. No matter how exhausted, your brain still co jured images of his hands grasping your wrists, pushing them above your head and forcing his cock into you, his lips biting against your skin, the fire of his kisses leaving scars where they trailed down.

You were running on three hours of sleep per night, sure, but at least you were as far as you could possibly get from the man ruining your life.

You poured yourself a glass of wine the next Sunday, knowing that when you went back to work the next day, he'd be gone.

You wrapped yourself in blankets and put everything else off for the day, ordering food and eating it and not moving as you worked your way through boxes of pizza.

It was when you finished your first glass and went to pour yourself another that there was a furious pounding at your door.

“Y/N, I know you're in there, open the door.” His hand sounded again, and you nearly dropped the glass at the sound of Apencer Reid's voice.

Your body acted alone, immediately following his directions as you damn near tripped over your own feet to open the door for him.

Throughout all of your arguments, all of the quips you'd thrown at him, every stupid little thing you'd done to get under his skin, you had not once seen Spencer Reid looking this angry.

His brow was furrowed uncomfortably, as if it were frozen in place. Gone was his perpetual smirk.

“Spencer, what the fuck a-”

“Thoughtless. Careless. Do you even know what you've done?” He snapped at you, stepping into your apartment and closing the door behind himself as he immediately walked into your space and began touching things.

“Stop! Fucking stop it, Spencer!” You said grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face you. He brushed you off quickly and worked his way through papers you'd left on your coffee table.

“No. You stormed out over a week ago, you blocked my number, you did not answer any of my emails-”

“I didn't get any emails,” you spit back, pushing yourself between him and your things now, bodies so close they were touching.

“Then you blocked my email, too. You don't even know what I'm looking for or the damage you could have done, do you?” His hands were on you then, not threateningly, as you'd expect, his anger still burning through him if his shaking voice had anything to say for it.

His hands stroked up your sides and back down again, smoothing away your need to think.

“My files. My team sent me a file. It was on the coffee table, and you took it with you when you left. The case is ongoing, and I'm flying out tomorrow, and without some of the classified information in that file, we will be at a disadvantage. Our odds of catching our unsub fall from 83% to 47% without all of the pertinent information.”

Your breath hitched as he leaned in closer.

“So yes, I'm going to go through your things, and if you're a good girl, you'll root through with me and help me find it.”

He stepped away then, and you held your tongue. As much as you hated him, he was right. You knew what he did, you knew who he was and to trust him not to lie to you about his chances without this information.

“The files on the coffee table are research notes, everything I took from the office is in that case over there,” you said pointing at a bag still where you'd dropped it by the door a week earlier.

He walked to it and rooted through it quickly before finding the file he obviously needed and letting some of the tension out of his shoulders.

“You're probably glad to see the back of me, right?” He said, laughing bitterly as he turned back around to you.

“Obviously not as happy as you are,” you spat back, stepping back over to him.

“If you ever speak to me that way again,” you started, spitting at him in the most threatening voice you could muster. “It won't be a fucking unsub that ruins your life.”

“And how are you going to manage that, Y/N?” He said, stepping closer to you until he had you backed up against the wall, trapped in by his bigger frame, using it to his advantage to intimidate.

“How will you manage to ruin my life,” he said, his voice softer as he finished his sentence, but not by much. “When you shake with just every time I get close?”

“This is not lust,” you growled the words out, but try as you damn might, you were shaking, vibrating even.

“Then what is it?”

“Hatred, dislike, loathing, detestation, abhorrence, fuck Spencer, you can pick up a thesaurus yourself and find out.”

“Yeah. Okay. I'll believe your lies for a second.” He walked away, he was walking away but the fire was ringing in your ears and you needed him to stay fucking put so he could take it all.

“You're a jackass.”

“Original.”

“You slammed into my life, expecting me to bend to your will and be at the mercy of your needs, your wants. Your office space, your fucking case files, your job-”

“None of that was my choice.”

“And it wasn't mine either, but at least I fucking left you alone. I spent the week in this apartment and left you the fuck alone, and you couldn't even allow me the same.”

His focus was back on you again, but you refused to be backed against a wall this time.

“What did you say?”

“You will not let me know peace. I have lost my security, my patience, my fucking sanity with each word you have said, my peace of mind, my sleep, my fucking sanity, Spencer.” Your chest was heaving, touching his with each exhale as he too held his place in front of you. He was so close, you'd practically spat the words directly into his mouth.

“How is that my fault?” He whispered, voice still dripping with disdain even as his hands again wrapped themselves in your hair, and he tugged your head back, baring your neck to him as he leaned down into you.

“How do you know that you're not doing the same to me?”

You refused to answer, though, meeting his eyes for one last second before you grabbed his hair in your hands and yanked him down to your mouth.

It wasn't so much a kiss as a battle for dominance, each trying to torture a surrender from the other with clashing tongues and teeth.

You made the first move, but he was obviously expecting it, and he didn't even pause before launching his own attack, finally pushing past your strong defence to walk you back to the sofa you'd abandoned earlier.

His tongue still lashed against yours as you retreated, refusing to give up your upper hand even as you moaned into his touch. The couch hit the back of your knees, buckling, and you silently cursed your lack of sleep for leaving you so unstable right now.

No, that wasn't true. It was him. He had left you so unstable, moving between happy and playful to angry and wrathful in the space of a week without you, and you'd been denying yourself the ability to even entertain any of this happening. Now that it was, your body was unprepared, totally at his mercy, as he pushed you to your back and pushed up your skirt.

“You're already so fucking wet,” he groaned slipping two fingers inside you as you moaned around him, no longer capable of thought. This was the moment, this was when he was going to make you submit to him finally.

Instead, he dropped to his knees and you gasped as his to guess found your sweet cunt and he began sucking to your clit.

You were on fire, skin scorched from the inside out, spreading in waves from your pussy to the furthest regions of your body.

With one hand, he spread your thighs further apart and pushed his entire face further into your cunt, tongue pushing inside right by his fingers, nose pushed right up against your clit as he didn't relent. Every movement was another curse falling from your mouth.

“Shit, Spencer, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, hips rocking back and forth as you tried to fuck his face, begging for more.

To your surprise, he didn't keep your hips still but let you keep riding his face, riding his fingers as you chased your first orgasm.

It came quickly, overwhelming you with the impact, jolting through your body like a lightning bolt as he let your hips shake and crash across his tongue.

When he finally pulled his face away, it was glistening, and he wasted no time shoving his tongue back in your mouth. His message was clear - he may have let you take whatever pleasure you'd wanted with him, but he was still the one in control.

You trailed kisses along his cheeks, neck, shoulders as he divested himself of clothing, shirt, belt, pants, ripping at yours to free your body as well, until the two of you were only left with underwear and you'd picked up every last drop of your cum left on his skin.

“On your back, now,” he said, and you complied. You spread your legs, and rubbed at your still wet cunt, jolting as he finally lined himself up with your cunt.

But he didn't push in yet. Instead he wrapped two arms under your knees and pulled you closer, so his cock rested over the top of your stomach, and leaned down, his face hovering inches over your own, holding himself up with a forearm rested just above your head.

“You see that?” He said, glancing down. “That is how much I am going to fill you. That is how deep I am going to ease into you. That is how far I am going to go to claim you. You can take it like a good girl, right?”

“Just shut up and put your cock inside me, Spencer.”

“You're so fucking pushy for a submissive little slut,” he said, smiling finally.

“I am not a-” you started to protest, but he slid inside of your hot cunt and you lost the ability to focus.

“Not a what, Y/N? Speak up,” thrusting shallowly as your cunt grabbed him and held tight.

“I'm not a- SPENCER!” You screamed his name as he pulled out quickly, thrusting into you again with a speed and strength that had you wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, fighting for him to stay right there deep inside.

“Not a sub? Y/N, you're whimpering and drooling right now. You're three seconds away from begging for my cock, why the fuck can you not be honest with yourself?”

“Fuck��you,” you said between moans as he rutted into you like a beast. He wasn't man anymore, bit monster, and he was claiming you inch by disgustingly perfect inch.

“Let go. Let me take care of you, let me control you. Come on, baby, you know how good it would feel,” he said, before ducking his head and wrapping his tongue around a nipple.

You screamed his name again, but you still tried to resist.

“Come on, Y/N. Show me. Cum on my cock.”

For a brief moment, you'd thought you'd resisted the demand. But then your brain faded, and your nails cut into his back like daggers as your body followed his commands and you came on his cock for a second time that night.

“Perfect. One more, you can do one more,” he said, kissing your lips and lifting himself back up so he was sitting on his knees as he again picked up the pace.

You mumbled his name over and over again as he fucked out all of the frustration in your body. Every thing either of you had said or done melted away in the glow of pleasure, your body buzzing from the feeling of him taking ownership of you.

“One more, Y/N. One more, you need to cum one more time.”

“I can't, I can't I can't I can't, Spencer I can't I really can't,” you said, voice growing pathetically whiny as the tears sprang to your eyes and you choked back a sob.

“Yes you can, one more. Together, we can do it together,” he said, groaning as you clenched around him.”

He claimed your mouth again, his hand wrapping around your throat as he cut off your air supply for a second, then two, then three, as your ears buzzed and you finally slipped over the edge again.

But this time, as promised, you weren't the only one caught in the pain of pleasure. Spencer collapsed on top of you as his dick spurted inside you, holding you close as he unloaded everything he had into you.

He sat there, warming his cock as he lazily kissed open mouth kisses into every inch of your shoulders, collar bone and chest. Everywhere he could reach without pulling out of you and leaving you there.

After weeks of no sleep because of him, it was his soft lips that finally enticed you into the hands of the sandman, his weight a comfort as you closed your eyes.

When you woke in your bed, clean and clothed, he was gone, and so was every sign that he'd ever been there in the first place.

🔖 @stillhere197 @understandingsunrise @mindfullycriminal @aliteralsemicolon @r-3dlips @alexafromamazon15 @jasf444 @subunitless @thebloomingeagle @lackingoriginalthoughts @empressgraytea @nox-sprite @alondralolll @allspicestones @chiyozai @i_heart_mgg @2hiigh2cry @tiyuel @jiuseoks @readinglatenights @placidus @dreamsarebig @pisceslovrr @waywardgoddess66 @tampon_racecar @kbaby-024 @luvdella @feyresqueen @a1dyn @pleasantwitchgarden @kolasbombaf @lovehadlovelost @kissesforspence @moonchildooh @bubbleebubz @theoraekenslover @melagem02 @calypso-read @ari-aurelia

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#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x self insert #dom spencer reid #sub reader #x reader

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girlboybug · 2 years ago

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Shades of Cool

“my baby lives in shades of cool, cold heart and hands of aptitude.”

or the one where joel can’t seem to stay away from you despite his efforts to. but it’s not like he tried very hard to begin with.

what’s playing 🎧 : shades of cool by lana del rey

pairing : joel miller x female!reader

word count : 9k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, creampie, breeding kink if u squint, oral f receiving, fingering, loss of virginity, virginity kink if u squint yet again, tummy bulge, unspecified age gap and joel kind of has a thing for it, unprotected sex, (pls wear a condom guys im just a mf on tumblr) multiple orgasms, a tad of overstimulation, allusions to male masturbation, dirty talk, pet names, mating press, prone bone, light dom/sub dynamics, reader def has some unresolved daddy issues mean!joel but theres some soft joel

TRIGGER WARNINGS : minor character death/reference to his death but he literally doesn't exist in the show i promise, canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, mentions of guns, implied/references to sexual harassment

a/n : this is my first time uploading to tumblr, forgive me if my layout is funky lol, anyways pls enjoy <3 read the second part here

you swallowed hard when you saw joel making his way towards the alleyway you two routinely met up in. watching as he did his typical side to side glance, casual in presence but it was muscle memory for him to ensure the safety of his environment no matter it’s location or the mundaneness of it.

you quite disliked the feeling that pricked your chest and quickly spread inside the cavity, overflowing up into your throat and drowning out any coherent thoughts in your mind whenever you saw joel.

it was annoying. pathetic even. just a silly schoolgirl crush you hoped would go away in time.

you put aside the fluttering feelings for later, and waved, catching his attention. he sent a curt nod, rubbing his palms together before pushing them into his denim pockets. “hey.” he greeted you, if you could really call it that.

you took whatever you could get from him, so you smiled, parroting it back with a nervous politeness.

“do you have the uh…” you trailed off, feeling embarrassed that you struggled to even verbalize what you were trading.

he raised a brow, folding his arms over his chest, looking at you expectingly. “i got it. you got the rations?” he finished speaking for you and you nodded enthusiastically, hurriedly pulling out the thick wad of rations you worked your ass off for.

he shut his eyes with exasperation for a few seconds before hovering his larger hand over the wad, miraculously dwarfing your own hand. “don’t wave it around kid, jesus,” he sighed, shaking his head while palming it and sliding it away into his back pocket.

“sorry…” you muttered embarrassedly.

he didn’t reply, and instead handed you a box, bright purple and pink and your gaze slowly rose up to his face with a slightly ajar mouth. “uh. joel.” you started, voice leading into an upward trail of confusion.

“if i wanted tampons i could have easily gotten this myself.” you wanted to hide the slight irritation in your tone but he caught on to it, unfolding his arms to jab the top of the box with his index finger. “how about you open it smartass.” he instructed dryly, moving backward and refolding his arms.

your eyes lingered on him tryingly for a few more seconds, huffing quietly to yourself before flipping the cardboard flap up.

again. tampons.

you tilted it towards him and he dragged his hand down his face tiredly. he dug his hand into the box, the tampons shoved to the sides, revealing a small pistol.

your mouth fell open into a comical O shape, laughing in awe. “oh!” you giggled and joel stared at you blankly, already feeling a hankering for a straight shot of whiskey at the bright and early hour of 8:30am.

“very creative.” you beamed and it seemed as though joel fought back a smile behind a glare. at least, you told yourself that.

“just enough for gullible people.” he pushed at a button of yours, just a little, and you paused for a second, shooting him a playful glare. “whatever,” you exhaled through a quiet chuckle.

“thank you joel, i appreciate the um. tampons, i was running low.” you played along with the bit and he rolled his eyes, nodding, already ready to go back home.

“sure thing.” he was about to turn and walk out of the alleyway but something held him in his spot.

he took in a deep inhale before making eye contact with you, rendering you back into your nervous state from when he first arrived.

“why do you need a pistol? we’ve only ever traded for small things. why the sudden big order?” he has absolutely no clue why he’s asking you this, or rather, he has no idea why he’s letting himself ask this.

he shouldn’t care. he doesn’t.

you stiffened, straightening your back and holding the box to your stomach, hands cupping the bottom of it. “just to keep at my place. thought i’d feel safer with it.” you answered truthfully, making sure to not go further into detail.

his squinted eyes stay on you for awhile, unsure of what you needed to feel safe from. “are you uh…in any trouble?” he asks and you feel a little excitement ignite in your lower belly.

is he worried about you?

“no! no not at all, i just…i don’t know,” you try to laugh it off but the silence between you two just feels heavy instead. “why do you ask?” you question and he shrugged.

“if you’re in trouble, i don’t need it somehow coming back to me. i got enough shit i need to worry about.” he answered and the bubble inside you popped and deflated almost immediately.

“oh, well no need to worry about that. it’s nothing like that, you’ll be fine.” you decided to end the conversation there, a cold feeling of humiliation that prods at your shoulders and throat alerting you that it’s best to just walk away before you can say anything else that might make the situation more unbearable.

“thanks joel.” you added, quickly making your way out the alleyway. “be careful with that thing.” he called out after you, and you feel the bubble slowly start to shamelessly inflate itself once more.

maybe he does care. even if it’s just a little.

—

you hid the box in the shoddy nightstand you had lugged up into your apartment from off the street one night, and exhaled lowly, pursing your lips. “this is good.” you stated to yourself.

the whole reason why you wanted a gun, was kind of useless if you really put some actual thought into it.

it really was just for the comfort of your mind, putting the nerves you had at ease. like a security blanket of sorts.

fedra soldiers occasionally conduct inspections, making a mess of people’s homes to look for any contraband, firefly propaganda, weapons, anything that so much acts as an eyesore to them is grounds for permanent confiscation.

there’s a specific solider that just makes you uncomfortable, makes your skin prickle up into sharp goosebumps and makes your stomach churn like dry gears rubbing up against each other.

the way his eyes follow you around, rejoicing in his power over you and how you cowered away from him.

they come in as pairs to inspect and even if they didn’t, he was still taller, stronger, heavily armed and trained and could kill you in front of a crowd of people and still face no consequences. so a singular witness wouldn't stop him from breaking the rules.

if anything, you’ve probably just put yourself in more danger carrying a weapon. but you felt that if you had it, you maybe had a fighting chance in case push came to shove.

you collected yourself into your very depressing excuse of a bed, lifting the fraying crotched blanket over your body, pretending you were anything less than semi uncomfortable.

the next morning, you woke up with a slightly sore feeling that resided in just about every crevice of your body but you ignore it, as it’s a common thing to wake up to if you’ve got what basically feels like laying on a napkin as a bed, and using what feels like an even thinner napkin as a blanket.

you readied yourself to participate in street clean up, since you had to take on more shifts than usual to make up for the hefty chunk of rations you gave to joel.

—

a bandana resided around your nose, neatly but tightly tied behind your head, doing…definitely not enough to cover the stench of cleaning the sludge off the streets.

"the fuck would i need coffee beans for asshole? hit me up when you’ve actually got good shit to trade.” you overheard two guys a few feet away from you bickering, your ears perking up at the mention of coffee beans.

you remembered joel vaguely mentioning how he’d kill for a cup of coffee, and you agreed on that sentiment, even though you’ve never once had coffee. the point being, he’d been out of coffee for awhile, unable to find anyone who has it, and you figured maybe scoring him a bag would be a nice sign of gratitude for the pistol.

you pulled down your bandana, walking over to the guy once the other one walked off. “hi, um i didn’t mean to eavesdrop but i heard you have coffee beans? i’d be willing to trade for them.”

“i don’t take kindly to nosy—“ he cut himself off mid sentence once he turned to look at you, his eyes dragging up and down your body and you wondered in that moment if it was worth the hassle of talking to this. thing.

but then you thought of joel, and how maybe he’d smile at you, thank you with a tight bear hug and suddenly, it did all seem worth it.

“yeah, yeah i’d definitely be happy to trade with you,” he grinned and you laughed, trying to hide your disgust with fake excitement. “great! what would you want for it? i have some spare shampoo bars, a pair of wool socks i was saving for winter, or—“

he cut you off this time, leaning into your space closer and you instinctively backed away. “i was thinking maybe something different.” he alluded to something that made cleaning up literal shit off the street seem a lot more pleasant.

your face fell and you lifted up your bandana. “yeah, nevermind. thanks anyway.”

you turned on your heel and he groaned, calling after you. “the socks…” he huffed, rubbing the side of his chin. “are they soft?” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

you tugged down the bandana again, smiling brightly. “very!”

—

you scheduled another meet up with joel, excited to gift him the bag of coffee beans.

you were slightly sad to let go of the socks, your feet always got so cold in the winter and the nights were already starting to increase in frigidness, but it’s okay, you could always find another pair of socks again, but you didn’t know if you’d have another chance to pleasantly surprise joel like this.

against joel’s typical judgment, he said to just stop by his apartment, feeling too tired to lug himself down into the alleyway again.

but all you heard from that was he trusted you enough into his personal space. which, as much as joel would deny it, is true.

he could clearly envision you apologizing to a fly for so much as being in its way, so inviting you over posed as nowhere near a threat.

you knocked at his door, hiding the bag behind your back before he opened it. the wind got knocked out of you once more at the sight of him. he was very much older than you, easily the age of a man who could be your father, but that didn’t erase any of his attractiveness.

in the deepest part of your subconscious, you knew that that’s what added onto it.

“hi!” you chirped and he stepped to the side, widening his door to let you in. “hi.” he repeated, drier but, not unhappily.

“what’d you wanna trade for again?” he asked, his hand rubbing the side of his stubbly jaw, and you had to look away, knowing you’d just watch him in silence if you didn’t.

“actually,” you hummed, nearly bursting at the seems with glee. he watched you curiously, unaware of the slight smile on his face as he watched you tip toe closer with your hand still behind your back.

“i didn’t come by to trade. i got you a gift!” he rested his palms behind him on the small table, his broad shoulders seeming even broader now and you wanted to run your hands across the expanse of them.

“a gift?” he asked, breaking you out of your trance. he sounded genuinely shocked, almost unable to believe you. “mhm!” you nodded, a smile still etched on your features.

“close your eyes, and open your hands.” you instructed, and he tilted the side of his head to you, wordlessly saying really?

you nudged your chin, motioning for him to listen, your way of replying with yes, really.

he eyed you before shaking his head, standing up straight and closing his eyes, his palms bared out for you, muttering a quiet, i have no idea why i’m listenin’ to you.

you plopped the bag of coffee into his hands, sing songing a soft “now open!”

he opened his eyes, his lips parting in awe. he laughed out of disbelief, and your heart soared with joy as you saw him smile, and widely at that.

“kid…you…why? i mean, god, thank you, but why?” he asked and you shrugged, rocking back and forth on your heel to your toes. “take it as a thanks for my pist-i mean tampons.” you joked and he chuckled, shaking his head and putting the beans down onto the table.

“well, thank you, that’s mighty kind of you.” he looked downward at you, and you looked back up at him, trying to memorize the way his lips were curled, the sweet lines by his eyes and the way he just seemed so happy by such a small act of kindness.

“no biggie!” you replied, and he darted his eyes away for a moment before turning back to you. “do you know how to use your gun?” he asked and you felt your face grow hot with slight embarrassment.

“uh. i mean you just aim and pull the trigger right?” you asked honestly and he blinked a few times before shaking his head. “okay so you don’t.” and you squinted at him. “i could teach you. get you some extra bullets too.” he remedied the half joking comment with his offer and you perked up.

“yeah? you would?” you asked excitedly and he nodded. “‘course. you just went from tolerated, to slightly more tolerated in my book. so i’m gonna help you not accidentally shoot yourself in the foot.”

you didn’t like how you actually felt a twinge of sadness at his obvious joke about only tolerating you. he was kidding, but sometimes it was hard to tell because he had the same monotone, slightly annoyed at everything everyone has to say, kind of voice.

and you were a sensitive person, and even the most harmless jokes could manage to sting you.

“well jeez aren’t you sweet.” you complimented with sarcasm. joel threw on his flannel, ignoring your comment. you stepped aside while he made his way to the door.

“you comin?” he looked at you, opening the door behind him, waiting for you to follow. you turned around to look behind you stupidly, then back to him. “what?” you asked confusedly and he fought the urge to roll his eyes and take back his offer.

“we’re gonna start now.” he inclined his head out the door, motioning for you to come along. and who were you to decline doing anything with joel.

—

joel was here. in your apartment. in your space, in your air. he was sitting on your bed, the place where you’d occasionally, frequently shove your fingers into places you just knew joel would be able to reach with no effort.

he ran his fingers over the barrel of the gun, drumming against its ridges and for a moment you felt a bit envious over the literal inanimate object.

“cmere,” he patted the space next to him, waiting for you to be seated so he could get started.

with wobbly legs you made your way to him, smoothing over your jeans in an attempt to secretly wipe away your clammy palms.

“show me how you hold it.” he placed it in your hands and it felt foreign to the touch. it was heavier than you expected it to be but you tried to conceal your inexperience by holding it the way you’ve seen others handle their firearms.

you pointed it at the door, pretending that soldier was in front of you, finger on the trigger and hands at the bottom of it, supporting your grasp.

he observed your hold, a low hmm coming from the back of his throat. “not terrible.” he adjusted your hands, your skin latching onto his heat, claiming it as yours as his body hovered around your side.

“how’s that feel?” he asked and you cleared your throat, blinking a few times and avoiding his close stare. “it uh, it feels better.” you answered and he clicked his tongue, nodding curtly to himself.

“alright. now, when you run out of bullets, the magazine at the bottom might drop out but if it doesn’t, you’re gonna take it out and reload, you wanna be fast if you’re in the middle of, well whatever situations got you needing to pull out a gun.” there was a slight cadence of a joke in his gun lesson 101, and it made a giddy feeling return to your tummy.

he reached in his back pocket, pulling out what you assumed he meant by magazine.

he explained the logistics of your newly owned weapon, trying to use terms you’d be able to follow along with, not unaware of how you were watching and listening intently, hanging on to every word he spoke.

you were too damn obvious.

—

you saw more of joel after that, bumping into him in places you usually didn’t see him, yet seemingly excited every time you met.

his aloof stare slowly turned softer when it landed on you, maybe it never changed at all but to you it definitely felt different.

he swore it was you that had been following him, an air of playfulness in his accusations of you stalking him, but really it was him.

he unable to admit to himself that he�� wandered around the areas he knew you were usually found in, wanting to scold you for having such an easy routine to follow but he kept it to himself.

he watched you walk beside him, taking in the sights of the town, wondering how you could possibly appreciate the hellhole that surrounded you all.

“so how’s the coffee? any good?” you asked, turning back to look at him, feeling a hushed breath pause in your throat once you saw he was already looking at you.

a peek of a smile ghosted over his face. “it’s good. i, i appreciate that you did that. i hope you didn’t have to trade too much for it.” guilt resided in him at the thought of you having to give more than you had just for coffee beans. he felt he wasn’t worth all that effort.

you shook your head, laughing lightly at the memory of the trade. “no no don’t worry, just a pair of socks. they were these brown wool socks that were so soft, so i’d say it was a pretty fair trade.”

“i’ll be on the look out for a pair like that then.” he was already figuring out who he could trade with to get you another pair of socks. “no it’s okay you don’t have to it’s-“

“hey,” his voice felt rich, calling your attention back to him. your chest went tight. “yeah?” you whispered back.

“shut up. i’m gettin’ the socks.” there was a backbone of sternness in his lighthearted promise.

you sucked on your bottom lip through a grin before you spoke again.

“i have a confession.” you exhaled, feigning dramatics and he tilted his head towards you, watching you with worried eyes. “yeah?”

“i lied. i’ve never had coffee before.” you lowered your head with faux shame and he gasped, shaking his head with disapproval. he paused for a moment, then turned around.

you caught up with him, holding onto his arm, feeling hot at the taut feeling of his limb, and how he didn’t push you off. he just peered down at you, keeping you there with him. “jeez i didn’t think you’d take such offense to that,” you breathed out through a chuckle.

“inexcusable. you’re tryin it when we get home.” the twang in his accent was something so attractive, and it only had you feeling more and more willing to do whatever he wanted. you’d drink acid if he asked of it from you in that deep southern drawl.

you two walked back to his place, shedding a layer out of many, holding onto it as you trailed in behind him.

he glanced over at you, then your coat. “set it down somewhere, you can have a seat.” he pointed at the round table and you quietly thanked him, hanging your coat over the back of the chair before sliding it out and sitting in it.

“i remember you have a sweet tooth. damn near talked my head off about trading for a bag of hard candies a few months ago, so i reckon you’d like it sweet.” he mostly talked to himself when he said that, fondly remembering the way you rattled on about how you were craving for caramel drops.

“you remember that?” you were just about swooning, unable to hide it even when joel walked back over to you, two mugs in each hand of his. “how could i not? you never let me forget it.” he set the mug down in front of you, sipping at his as he leaned back into the chair in front of you.

you picked it up, hugging the warmth of it with your palm. you took a light sip, your eye shutting, a low quiet moan leaving your lips from around the mug once the taste landed on your tongue.

joel stirred in his seat at the sound, busying himself with drinking from his cup to avoid making any kind of facial expressions.

“joel,” you crooned and he felt weak. “you like it?” he asked, his lips still curled over the rim of his mug. “it’s so good, i understand why you like it so much.”

“well, i don’t make it as sweet as that, but yeah, coffees good. not a lot of people agree.” he shrugged and you set your mug down in front of you. “can i taste yours?”

he slid it to you and you lifted it, tasting it and almost immediately wanting to spit it out. you quickly gave it back to him, sipping the sweeter coffee to cleanse your offended palette.

“yeah, that tastes like shit, i don’t know how you drink that.” you smacked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, the burnt taste not quite leaving you just yet.

he rolled his eyes, taking a loud obnoxious slurp. “my tastebuds are just mature.”

“mature for what? shit? once you hit a certain age do just you grow accustomed to crappy tasting things?” you were dipping into a more casual way of speaking to joel, causing his gaze that rested on you to turn into a view of amusement.

“rich comin’ from the kid who still eats like she’s 5.” he rested his arm against the back of his chair, and you expired, feeling a bit defensive of being called a child.

“i’m not a kid.” you muttered and he chuckled. “alright.” he agreed in sentiments but not in actuality.

breaking the comfortable silence that filled the room you and joel shared, a loud bang rang from against the door. joel slid from out his chair, hurriedly pacing towards the door.

before he could even open it, you already knew it was one of fedra’s soldiers. things were starting to feel a little too lax, it was only a matter of time until they came knocking down doors again.

your throat went dry, stomach cinching with anxiety once he stepped inside, the same soldier that had you saving up your rations week after week to be able to afford the pistol from joel.

his eyes flickered between you and joel, scoffing to himself. “what’s this?” he asked you, ignoring joel who stood right in front of him.

“nothing.” you answered, intimidation and fear already prickling at your skin and racing down your spine.

joel stood in front of you, shielding you away from him, and slowly, the fear lifted itself itself away from you, but not fully. not while he’s still here.

“aren’t there usually two of you who do these searches?” joel questioned, watching as the solider jabbed at various things of joel’s with the tip of his rifle.

“partners out sick. so y’all get the pleasure of havin just me.” he flashed an ugly grin at you, bending to the side to see your uncomfortable face behind joel’s back.

he walked around, haphazardly lifting and tossing things about.

“oh?” he bent down, squatting by joel’s bed. “what’s this?” he waved around a baggy full of white powder. joel stiffened, his nostrils flaring in anger.

“that’s not mine and you know it.” and surprisingly it actually wasn’t.

joel had just sold the last of his pills to a sad sap unable to sleep without them, and that was a month ago. the asshole was planting drugs on him.

“this is not only grounds for confiscation but imprisonment. tough spot you’re in miller.” joel exhaled angrily from a quiet ragged breath.

“unless,” he came up to you, pushing past joel to cup your chin. “she wants to, convince me why i shouldn’t take you down for this contraband.” you flinched from his touch but it only made him hold on tighter.

joel snatched his wrist away, stepping back in front of you. “you don’t have to involve her. what do you want? rations, half of my next haul? what?” he gritted and the solider just laughed.

“you think i don’t have easy access to all that? i want something you can’t easily trade for.” he leaned to the side, waving at you.

joel pushed him backward, triggering the response of a rifle being shoved in his face. joel didn’t so much as waver, grabbing the neck of the firearm, pointing it away from him while his foot came and rammed down onto the front of his shin, successfully knocking him down with a loud wail of pain.

it happened so fast all you could do was sit and watch, frozen in place as joel lost himself on top of the solider, pounding and pounding and pounding his fists in relentlessly, not stopping despite the ache trickling over across his knuckles.

you heard a sick squelch followed by cracking noises and you knew that should’ve made you fear joel. it should’ve made you run out the door and never look back. but it did the opposite. you never wanted to stay more.

you watched with wide pupils as he rose up from the beaten and bloodied solider, breathing hard and loud, stumbling upward to a leant stance, staring at the lifeless solider on his wood floors.

he wiped his nose with the clean, unbloodied slate of his forearm, before dropping it back to his side to lean forward and spit over the body.

he turned back to you, scanning your face for any hurt, fear or disgust.

but there was none.

before you could say anything, he spoke aloud his thoughts. “i gotta get rid of the body.”

“do you need help?” you extended a hand willing to assist and joel shook his head a hard no. “you saw enough, you don’t need to see more. i’ll be back.”

you stood up, pressing a hand to his chest, looking at him with watery eyes. he wanted to wipe them away from you, but he couldn’t. not with the blood that was already starting to cake under his nails.

“joel i want to help.” you admitted, soft voice trembling and joel leaned forward, his face close to yours. “you should probably go sweetheart, you don’t need to get wrapped up further in this.” his words traveled along the coast of a gentle but solid whisper.

“i don’t want to go.” your voice barely carrying itself loud enough as a reply, eyes following joel’s actions of walking away from you to roll up the soldier in a thin fraying carpet.

“you should.” is all he said, walking out the door with a body dragging behind him.

—

you went against any logical thought process whatsoever and stayed. you decided you’d make yourself useful, feeling as though the events that continually replayed in your head felt like your fault.

you sat on your knees, scrubbing at the blood that had already set in the floors.

you scrubbed until it hurt, and you kept going despite the fact. you dunked the scrubber into the bucket of soapy water turned brown, squeezing the excess onto the floor before rubbing it in.

the door clicked open and your head whipped towards it, heart leaping in your chest once you saw joel stumble in.

“hi.” you breathed and he looked at you with surprise. he saw the work you busied yourself with, locking the door before making his way to you. “what’re you doin’?” he asked gently, yet again in shock at how unabashedly kind you were to him.

“didn’t want the blood just sitting here on your floors. ‘least i could do since it’s my fault that all happened.” you sniffled, feeling guilty at what had transpired. though the guilt was there, a sense of gratitude was even larger.

he did that, for you.

he bent down to catch your watery gaze. “no, no that was not your fault. just got a little carried away. ‘don’t want you thinkin’ that you had anything to do with my choices, okay?” he leaned to the side, catching your eyes that were avoiding his. “okay?” he repeated, waiting for you to say it back to him.

“okay.” you mouthed just below a whisper. he took the bucket and the scrubber, walking to the sink. you of course, trailed behind him.

he lifted his sleeves, turning on the faucet to rinse off the dried blood on his hands.

he picked at under his nails, scraping the blood off wherever he saw it. which was, every inch of his hands.

his body faced back to you, his now cleaned hands picking up yours, seeing specks of blood and dirt splattered on your hands from cleaning his floor.

he washed you clean, and all you could do was admire him. how gentle he was taking care of you. he rinsed your skin clear of blood, drying you up and letting your hands rest back to your sides.

“i’m sorry you had to see that.” he apologized, feeling ashamed of how little he was in control of his anger in that moment.

you shook your head, hands shakily resting on his chest. “no, i don’t want you to be sorry.” you murmured, eyes landing on his lips. you swallowed back any fears that held you back from showing your affections any longer.

you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. with a pleasant surprise, he kissed back, no hesitation in his actions. his hold fell to your waist, squeezing, pulling you into him.

he took in your air, and you gave it to him, happily, willing to offer it in all its abundance. your hand rose to his cheek, palm resting over his beard. his thumb rested on your chin, rubbing it softly.

he forced himself to pull away, his hands selfishly unable to remove themselves from your waist. “sweetheart this isn’t a good idea. you’re too young, and i’m not a good man. i think i just showed you that.” he tried to warn you, hushed and gently, with honest intentions of keeping you away from something you’d regret being involved with.

but the only thing you’d regret is never being with him.

“i’m not, and i don’t care what you do joel, i want you, all of you, want you so bad,” you all but whimpered, trying to press yourself against him more.

he was a greedy man at heart, pulling you back up for a harder kiss. there was a hot hunger that was electric between you two, a burning ignition that pulled you two in, tying an in separable twine amidst your bodies. but neither of you ever had any intentions of undoing it anyways.

he held the side of your cheek, the other traveling from your lower back to your ass, squeezing it hard, using his grip to pull you in closer, grinding up against you right there.

you were so needy for him that it rattled your bones. a wet clicking noise elicited from your mouths, tongues brushing up together messily. your chin dribbling with saliva.

you moaned in his mouth, feeling the hand that was on your cheek move to hold you by the back of your head, his tilting to kiss you deeper.

he untangled your lips, keeping himself not even an inch away, just to share the breath between you two. your tongue flicked over his lips, biting down on the bottom one before lurching forward for him once more.

he groaned in your mouth, lifting his hand to come down and spank your ass. you whined, back arching and crotch brushing up against his.

you two stumbled towards his bed, your back falling into the mattress. he crawled on top of you, ridding himself of his boots and you of yours.

his knee rested on one side of your hip, the other coming between your thighs. your chest rose up into his, your back lifting off the sheets and hands coming up to paw at his chest.

without any reservations, you rubbed against his knee, struggling to kiss him back. “feel good little girl?” he sounded gruff, strained voice trying it’s best to not moan at the way your wet little cunt managed to create a wet spot on his knee.

“so good joel,” you gaped, kissing his neck desperately.

“shouldn’t be touchin’ you like this, sweet little thing like you gettin handled by someone like me,” he breathed through a series of heavy pants, his hands wandering all along your sides, your hips, your thighs.

“don’t want anyone else but you.” you whimpered truthfully, holding his wrist and guiding his hand to your chest, right above your heart. you let it drift to the left, shuddering when he squeezed your breast.

he kissed your pulse, teeth baring out against it. he rested his hand on your lower belly, rubbing the skin under your tank top. “can i touch you?” he whispered, his beard tickling the space just below your ear.

you nodded, running your hands all along his strong back. “please,” you bucked your hips upward, begging with not only your words but your body.

he exhaled out a quiet chuckle, fingers working to undo your jeans, tugging them down until they were forgotten on the floor.

he dipped down beneath your underwear, his cock throbbing in his boxers at how wet you were. so soaked it was pathetic. he hadn’t let his hand drift down to the sweet place between those thighs of yours til then, and yet you were as wet as if he had his tongue pressed up against you.

actually, that’s not a bad idea.

he circled around your clit, watching as you revealed in it, his fingers being thicker than yours, making the sensation all the more intense.

“joel,” you repeated his name, voice wavering in breathy gasps, his fingers rolling the sensitive button of yours. he slipped a finger inside you, eyes peering up and watching as your back rose just a little, hips pressuring downward and further onto his finger, taking him all in.

“so soft,” he murmured, lowering himself to press a kiss to your hip. he rolled his hips into the mattress, trying ease the pressure building up beneath his jeans.

he was too turned on, this young pretty girl he’s had his eye on for a year was sprawled in his bed, soft and soaked cunt all ready and pliable just for him and him alone.

he could die a happy man.

his lips encircled your clit, tongue drawing around it while he pressed into a familiar spongy spot within you.

you sucked in a sharp gasp, the sweet sound turning into a high pitched whine. “please,” you sobbed, hands flying down to keep his head in place.

he fucked you with his fingers, curling right up against the spot that was making you dizzy, his tongue and lips working perfectly on your little clit.

tears flowed down your face and on his pillow, your hand coming up to your mouth trying to lessen the volume of your cries.

“j-joel, please i,” unable to formulate any sentences, you just gave up, giving in to your moans.

the way you squeezed around his fingers, sucking him with greed and need, made him wonder how that’d feel around his cock when he’d get to finally shove it in you.

he growled at the thought, sucking hard around your clit. you whimpered, pushing down onto his tongue more.

“s’too much, i cant, i,” your head rolled around his pillow, his scent, his touch, his tongue suffocating you in the most heavenly way possible.

you squirmed in his hold, unable to escape his grip, unable to escape the way his tongue pressed flat and hard up on your clit. his beard brushed up against your thighs, pulling a giggly moan from you.

“perfect little pussy,” he grunted, kissing your clit before dragging his tongue slowly, up and down languidly.

he rested his forearm over your lower tummy, pressing hard and feeling the corner of his lips perk at the way you gasped, shuddering loudly and trembling in his mouth at the action.

“joel, i think i’m—ooh,” you spoke tearfully, poor little throat already getting hoarse from crying out his name.

“feels good huh baby,” that little twang in his deep voice curled off his words just right. all you could do was whimper a shaky sogood joel s’good.

his finger pressed up against that spot inside you, his tongue on your clit being the sweetest cherry on top of the tooth rotting sundae.

you were cumming, hiccuping his name unashamedly. your plush thighs coming around to cage him in, to which he paid no mind to, if anything it excited him, his rough hands gripping your ass and pulling you deeper into his mouth.

the wind up deep inside you finally released, flickering flashes of burning hot lights spread across your limbs, slowly fizzling out as you went limp in his bed.

he didn’t let up however, his tongue grown addicted to the way your perfect clit felt on the wet muscle.

you whimpered, struggling to push him away from your cunt. it was just too good and he hadn’t had enough yet.

“joel n-no more s’too much,” you pleaded weakly, and he took slight pity, pressing one last kiss before rising back up to you.

he pressed his fingers to your lips, groaning quietly with approval at the way you took them in with no verbal orders needed.

you were so good for him, his sweet little girl.

he pulled them out, resting on your plump bottom lip before moving it out the way to kiss you. you moaned deeply into his mouth, bringing your arms around him, hands traveling up to his hair.

his salt and peppered hair felt soft, weaved through your gentle fingers. you lightly tugged on it, feeling mischief in your veins at the ministration. he growled, biting down on your lip and laughing as you yelped.

he held your jaw, pressing hard kisses all along your face, speaking stilly, his inflection so deep, so masculine, so old and wise, had you hypnotized, his words that were reserved for your ears only, were something you’d cradle to yourself forever.

“told myself i wouldn’t crack, i wouldn’t have you like this, you’re too young, you don’t know what you want, but fuck,” he dragged his fingers up your folds, chuckling to himself at the way you whimpered, curling into his touch immediately.

“now that i got you, ‘fraid i can’t let you go sweetheart. i’m a selfish man at heart.” he admitted, kissing your jaw. you just about exploded in that moment. you had no idea he felt the same for you as you did him, and it was the most powerful, enlightening feeling you’ve ever felt.

“i’m selfish too,” you whispered back, puckering your lips to kiss him. “didn’t let anyone else touch me but you. just wanted you,” you looked up at him from under your eyelashes, unaware to how that little admission made the precum collecting at his tip leak out even more.

his grasp on your hip tightened, squeezing it as he buried his face in your neck. “fuck baby, gonna give this old man a heart attack sayin’ things like that.”

your shaky hands went for his belt, tugging on it with need. “want you joel, please?” you begged, lips pressed to his ear. he didn’t need to be begged any more, he undid his belt with one hand, pulling it off his waist, letting it join the pile of your discarded jeans and boots.

before he could take himself out, your hands found themselves under his flannel, desperate and anxious to see what he’s been concealing away from you. “off, please,” and he wanted to say no, feeling not as proud in his physique as he once was about 20 years ago.

“nothin special to see baby,” he countered and you shook your head. “it’s you. it’s special to me.” you suspired airily, already feeling your tummy get tight at the thought of him hovering above you, shirtless.

he took in a deep breath, letting you unbutton his flannel.

you undid each button, trying your best to not rip them clean off despite your rushing efforts. you slid it off his body, exhaling in awe at the sight in front of you.

you sucked on your bottom lip, hands traveling across his broad shoulders, fingers tracing his collarbones, dragging around the scarred areas from past wounds, admiring the few freckles on his chest that trail up to his shoulders.

he watched you, never having felt so admired before. “enjoyin’ yourself baby?” he teased, his thumb rubbing over your chin.

“mhm,” you nodded, not caring how it looked to be gawking at him.

you could feel the muscle from the layer of life and age over his stomach, your eyes then falling to the bulge of his biceps, instantly growing obsessed, squeezing at the muscles.

“you’re so beautiful joel.” you spoke with such true sincerity and he tittered quietly, shaking his head. “thank you baby,”

your wandering hands finally fell to his jeans, undoing the button and zipper, eager to see what else he’d been keeping away from you.

he let you, more than ready to feel your touch in the place he craved the most. he was tired of having to fuck his calloused fist, trying hard to pretend it was your cute hand touching him.

you pulled him out, feeling your jaw go slack at the length of it all. “jesus joel,” you swallowed hard, steadily jerking him off, feeling slightly unsure if you’re doing it right. you were telling the truth, when you said you’d never let anyone touch you, too hopelessly in love with joel to even imagine allowing anyone to see you in the way he’s got you.

he grunted, unintentionally bucking his hips into the tunnel of your hand. he was thick, heavy in your clutch, veins running along the side of it, his tip round and fat, almost red with droplets of precum leaking out.

“gonna show you what those little boys could never give you,” he promised, and you believed him, gazing at the way he reluctantly pulled away from your hold, knowing if he let you stroke him any longer he’d cum all over your hand.

he circled your clit with the head of his cock, shuddering a semblance of a breathy moan at the sensation. “gonna be a bit of a stretch baby, tell me if it’s too much okay? i’ll try to go slow.” he kissed his promises of gentleness into your temple.

he inched in, hands around either side of your head, foreheads pushed together while your mouth fell open, sucking in all the air in the room. the stretch was very unfamiliar, but not unwelcomed.

you held onto his shoulders for support, grasping onto them tightly, pretty plump trembling lips crying out moans that would replay in joel’s head on lonely nights. you felt fuller than you ever have before joel was even fully inside you.

he was nudging up against spots in you that you had no idea could feel so good, and if he angled his hips any higher, the fat head of his cock would be kissing your cervix.

“can barely fit myself in ya’ baby,” he groaned, head falling from your forehead to bury itself in your neck, kissing your hot skin to try to calm him down before he lost control and rammed himself inside you.

your calves rested on his hips, whimpering while trying to lift yourself up in an attempt to get him to push himself further in.

“more joel, please?” your pleas were accompanied by sponged kisses just below his ear. “gonna take it all for me baby?” he questioned you, inching in just that much deeper, and you shut your eyes, nails already beginning to crescent themselves in his back. “mhm, gonna take it all,” you swore, more than eager to have him fully within you, as close as could be.

he jutted his hips in, knocking the wind out of you. you bit down on his shoulder, whining a drool filled mess with the way he started to fuck you, rough hardened hands molding softly around the curves of your waist.

he was bathing in the way your little cunt took him in, squeezing around him so good just like he knew you would. he took his time, rocking into you in and out, holding your shaking body close to him.

you could feel every ridge and vein in you, hooked onto the way he filled you up, stretching you beyond belief, making you bounce upward with every movement.

his hands slid down over the smooth skin of your thighs, widening them further open before pushing them up, growing impatient, achingly hungry to be deeper in you. you struggled for air at his fast actions, eyes immediately rolling back at the way he began to fuck into you.

“can’t help myself, m’sorry baby, pussy’s too good, shit,” a gruff sigh of relief leaving his mouth at the way you took him in. you didn’t care, you were thrilled to take whatever he gave you, and however hard he saw fit.

“feels s’good, feel so full,” you cried, translucent tears free falling, the aggressive pistons of his hips causing your swollen clit to ache, begging to be touched.

“feel me right here huh baby?” he rubbed over the bulge in your tummy and you squealed, wriggling away from the overwhelming stimulation. “ha,” you strung out, arching up into him.

“yeah, you do,” he taunted breathlessly, loving how you were a wreck beneath him. “in so deep joel,” you mumbled against his shoulder and he kissed your hair, nodding knowingly. “i know babygirl but you’re takin me so well,” he praised, feeling so proud of his sweet girl taking his cock like a pro.

“never gonna let anyone see you like this?” he pressed deep there, corners of his lips curling when you weep, squeezing at his biceps. “never gonna let anyone have you like this?” you shook your head, sobbing a string of no joel no, never, just you.

“perfect, tight fuckin’ cunt is all for me, aint sharin’ with no one,” he held you by the back of your thighs even further, stressing how serious he was, set on fucking himself into your soaked hole until there was a permanent shape of him within you. a shape no man could ever fit into.

sobs of uncontrollable pleasure were the only thing you could feel in your veins, pumping your blood full of dopamine. his balls tightened, hitting the fullness of your ass, and he let himself grow sporadic, let himself take you. his fingers found your desperate clit, chuckling to himself when you croon tearfully, thanking him pathetically for touching you.

“can i cum, please?” your requests only made him twitch inside you, his sweet girl was so polite. “go ahead baby, let it out,” he leaned down to kiss you, swallowing up your moans and cries.

your body jerked under him, the tight vice of your cunt gripping onto him while he rubbed over your clit, pulling out the second wave of an orgasm from you.

you broke apart from his lips, still just a breadth of a gasp away from them, brushing up against the ghost of a kiss as you pressed your forehead to his, sobbing his name while your body trembled from how hard you were cumming.

“shit,” he slammed a hand against the wall above your head, shoving himself impossibly further in you, your legs shaking on either side of him. “good fuckin’ girl, squeezing me so goddamn good,” he fucked you through your orgasm, kneading over your breasts, groping at them and pinching at your pebbling nipples.

you fell limp, letting yourself drown in the unraveling lengths of your climax.

“gonna cum baby, where d’you want it?” he asked, feeling his lower stomach start to tighten up. “inside, wanna feel all of you,” you whined, kissing all along his shoulder and collarbones, messy and ravenous.

his face fell to the crook of your neck, biting down on your soft flesh when he came, impaling you once, twice, ending it with one last hard thrust as he came in you, pumping you full of his cum.

he didn't feel himself soften inside you, but with each of the passing minutes he decided he’d better pull out then or else he’d never leave. you winced from the removal, arms coming around to hold him with a clinginess.

he collapsed on top of you, and you sighed contently, the full weight of him resting on you could’ve honestly sent you into the deepest nap you’d ever have.

you felt his cock, still hardened on your thigh. with sleepy eyes you looked up at him, lips on his stubbly jaw when you spoke. "you're still hard," you murmured. his fingers drew up and down your spine, and you shivered, arching yourself into him.

"that's okay, it'll go down soon." his throat got tight when he felt you wrap your hand around him once more. "we don't...have to ignore it." you trailed off, bitten lips pressing delicate kisses laced with ulterior motives into his tanned skin.

you wanted joel to use you as many times as he wanted to, a new compulsion flowing rampantly in your veins. now that you had finally gotten a taste of joel, you wanted to gorge yourself on him.

"you sure you can take it?" he asked through a hushed breath of arousal. you nodded, kissing at his lips with need.

he didn't need to be told twice, he repositioned you, letting you fall back onto his pillow with him hovering above you. he rolled you onto your stomach, holding you by your hip to lift you just enough for him to shove his flannel right against your cunt.

his rough palms encased your ass, groping at the thick flesh. he dipped down, spreading your ass and watching as his cum poured out of you. he groaned quietly to himself. you whimpered, turning to look over your shoulder as joel pushed his fingers inside, shoving his cum back into you. your chin dropped, face falling back into his pillow when he pumped his fingers inside you, chuckling darkly to himself at the way your ass squirmed against him.

every little swivel your hips made was met with friction from his flannel on your clit. the hem of it just so happened to be pressed right there. he slapped his cock over on your ass, exhaling loudly at the way it jiggled from his actions.

he aligned himself once more with your little hole, pushing himself in with ease due to the slick left from a mixture of his cum and yours. you whined, hands flying backward, desperate for any solace from his hands in yours. he held your wrists at the small of your back with one hand, the other supporting his weight to lean forward when he pushed himself all the way inside you. you cried out, his name falling out of your mouth like a mantra, your legs trembling beneath him.

he was in you so much deeper this way, stretching you out more than you thought he already could. his hips snapped up against your ass, fully within you and hitting every single tingly spot inside you along the way.

you were already out of breath, your lungs and brain vacant of anything except for him, for joel. "feel you in my tummy," you hiccuped, tilting your head to look at him through teary eyes. he breathed out a lazy, cocky laugh, moving forward to kiss your forehead, unintentionally shoving his cock in even deeper, feeling a sense of pride at the way you gasped and whimpered at the deep intrusion.

"i know huh baby?" he chuckled in your ear, and you shivered, feeling your face grow warm from how flustered he made you feel. he was so dirty, any filters he once had were gone, the tight grip your cunt had on his cock made him downright ruthless.

he pressed his hands at your lower back, letting yours fall free to cling onto his sheets. he held you down that way, fucking into you with a newfound source of energy, his grey hairs falling over his forehead, sweat glistening over the ripples of muscles along his biceps and abdomen, his whole being going into pounding himself into you.

he wanted you to be so full of him that everyone would know it just by looking at you. the possessiveness he tried to suppress for so long had come out, and he wasn't sure if he could go back to hiding it again. but that wasn't on his mind, not when you were clenching around him, sobbing his name loud enough for everyone outside to hear.

his grunting fell to your ears, it was near pornographic, including the way you bounced with each and every thrust of his, just watching it made his chest get tight.

he needed you closer.

he pulled you back up from under your arms, keeping you flush against his chest while he continued fucking you. you were growing limp, body worn out from the rigor he put you through. but he held onto you, keeping you in his arms. his arm went under your tits, a sneaky hand coming up and groping at one, pinching at the nipple.

he buried his face in your neck, filling your ear with the low growl of his groans. "such a good girl, letting me fuck you like this, but i think you like it, and you know what else?," he drew in a heavy breath, "i think you like being fucked like a little ragdoll," you couldn't answer, he was right, but you could hardly focus on any words, his cock rendering you a teary eyed moaning mess.

"can't even respond when spoken to," he slowed the roll of his hips, hitting you in deep and slow, letting you hear him instead of the loud wet rhythm of your cunt being fucked into. "that's okay, i'll still take care of you," he chuckled, returning back to his rough pace.

"so good, make me feel so good joel," you managed to finally cry out in a series of strewn moans. his fingers trailed themselves down to your clit, rubbing in tight little circles. " i know baby, cum for me, show me how good i make you feel."

you wriggled around in his hold, your third orgasm of the night was thick in heft, a heavy wave of intense stimulation clearing your vision and leaving a white glittering hue instead. you felt joel everywhere, from the way he was buried in your cunt, to the way his hips were clasped over the curve of your ass, fitting into you like a puzzle piece.

the fervent circles being drawn over your clit was the thing that pushed you over, your head falling backward onto his shoulder, his turn to be serenaded by a string of your pretty moans. "good babygirl, did so good for me." he cooed in your ear, pressing a kiss behind it. "thank you," you meekly replied in a breathless voice.

you were the weakest you've ever felt, your poor spent body still being held upright as joel chased down his own orgasm. "gonna let me cum in you again baby? want more of it?" he panted in your ears. "please, want it joel, please,"

he gripped onto your hips, feeling his own stutter, before he pushed in deeply, stilling inside as he came in thick ropes. he finally softened, slowly pulling out of you. you winced again at the loss, feeling suddenly cold and empty. you collapsed on his bed, reaching out for him.

he laid beside you, pulling your leg up and over his waist, running a hand up the expanse of your thigh. your eyes fell shut tiredly, enjoying the comfortable sound of the two of you trying to catch your breaths.

a part of you was worried he was going to break the silence, afraid he'd call the whole thing a mistake, and lecture you on how he isn't the type of man who does relationships. you knew all of that, you just hoped he wouldn't say it and just let you soak in the moment.

almost nervously, his hand came to dance across your cheekbone softly, wanting to memorize the way your skin felt to his. "do you regret that?" he murmured and you opened your eyes, shocked at the question.

you leaned into his hand, curling your own over his. "no, never joel, why would you ask that?"

he sighed, scooting closer to you. "I'm not a good man, sweetheart, i'm giving you a chance to leave." he spoke above an octave of silence. you frowned, shaking your head. "i don't care about anything that you've done in the past or what you'll do in the future. i just...want to be here, with you, in any way you'll let me." you admitted, wishing you could say the one thing you've been harboring for a year, but you knew you needed to keep that to yourself just a little longer.

"if i had a bigger conscious i wouldn't let you," his hands pulled you into the hold of his arm that came over your waist. "lucky for me then that you're not the good man you claim to be." you whispered, the scent of coffee on your breath enveloping his senses, and in that moment, he had a realization.

he thought about how nice, how domestic it would be to wake up and share a cup of coffee with you every morning, before you had to face the day, at least you could share a moment of peace together.

"yeah," a trace of a smile grew over his lips. "you're right. i'm not." he rolled on top of you, cupping your cheeks in his large palms. "you're makin' an unwise choice little girl," a quiet rumble rested on your lips.

your arms came around his shoulders and you sighed a half laugh. "i know. i don't care."

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #the last of us hbo #the last of us smut

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cal-kestis · 1 year ago

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HOW TO: Make an iPhone Layout + Downloadable Template

Hi! I've gotten a few messages asking for a tutorial on my iPhone gifsets — but instead of only doing a tutorial (that would probably be triple the length this one already is), I decided to turn my layout into a template with all the bits and bobs! In the "tutorial" under the cut, I'll share everything you'll need, a free template download, and quickly go over how to use this template. :)

Disclaimer: This template uses Video Timeline and this tutorial assumes you have a basic to intermediate understanding of Photoshop.

PHASE 1: THE ASSETS

1.1 – Download fonts. These are the fonts used for all assets I've included in my template: – SF Pro or SF Pro Display (Regular, Medium, Bold): Either version works, they look nearly identical. You can download directly from https://developer.apple.com/fonts/ or easily find it via Google – Bebas Neue: Free on Google Fonts, Adobe Fonts, and dafont – Times New Roman (Bold): Should be a default font in Photoshop

Make sure to download and install any of the fonts you don't already have before opening my template. That way, once you open the template file, all the settings (font size, weight, spacing, color, opacity, etc.) are as intended.

1.2 – Download my template. Before you use my template, all I ask is that you don't claim or redistribute it as your own and that you give me proper credit in the caption of your post. Making these iPhone gifsets takes me a longgg time and turning this layout into a template took several hours too.

DOWNLOAD TEMPLATE VIA KO-FI ← This template is completely free to download (just enter $0), but if you feel inclined to tip me, I appreciate you! 💖

BTW this template also includes some of my frequently used icons!

NOTE: If, for some reason, you open the template and see the pop-up shown below, click "NO" — otherwise, the fonts will be all messed up:

And if you see this triangle with an exclamation point by a text layer, don't double-click it — it'll mess up the font as well:

PHASE 2: THE GIFS

I'm just going to briefly go over gif sizes and my recommendations. Also, keep in mind when grabbing your scenes, you'll want all of these gifs to be the same amount of frames.

2.1 – Background Gif: 540 x 540 px. I recommend this size so you have a good amount of visibility for the gif behind the iPhone wallpaper. I also recommend making this black and white (or in my case, black and white with a slight blue tint — idk I just like the way it looks) so the wallpaper coloring can stand out.

2.2 – Wallpaper Gif: 230 (w) x 500 (h) px. Keep in mind the very narrow dimensions of the wallpaper! And also keep in mind that you'll have a bunch of apps and widgets covering the image. I try to use wide shots (or layer my clips into looking like wide shots). Also, keep in mind your color scheme for your set and your character's aesthetic! I tend to focus on one or two colors for the wallpaper.

I usually position the wallpaper to the side with 20px bumpers, so there's lots of space to see the background:

2.3 – Large Photo Widget Gif: 201 (w) x 96 (h) px.

2.4 – Small Photo Widget Gif: 94 x 94 px.

PHASE 3: THE TEMPLATE – "IPHONE" FOLDER

In this section, I'll try to quickly walk you through how to use this template and some bits that may require extra instructions. I'll be going through each folder from top to bottom.

3.1 – Status Bar. Time, Service, and WiFi are pretty self-explanatory. In the Battery folder, you can use the shape tool to adjust the shape layers labeled "Fill (Adjustable Shape!)" to customize the battery level.

3.2 – Message Notification. Again, these are pretty self-explanatory. I've already masked the circle for the contact photo, so you can simply import any photo and use the transform tool to shrink it down. The circle is 24x24 px. If you don't want to use a photo, there's another folder called Default Initials.

If your message text can't fit the text box, the message should end with ellipses which is how iOS caps off long texts.

3.3 – Blurred Banner (IMPORTANT) This folder is easy to miss because there's only one placeholder layer in there. On iPhones, the area behind a banner notification and the dock get blurred (including the wallpaper and any apps).

What to do: Make a duplicate of the apps in Row 1 and/or widgets that intersect the message banner, convert them all into one smart object, apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 pixels) on the smart object, and move the smart object into this masked folder!

(There's another masked folder in the Wallpaper folder for the dock which I'll go over in that section.)

3.4 – Apps Turn off the yellow guide if you don't need it to keep things aligned and turn off layers you don't need by clicking the eye icon. Replace the "App" placeholder text with your app name, change the color or gradient of the square to compliment your color scheme, and add your custom app icon overlay!

If you can't find an app icon you need from the ones I provided, flaticon.com is a great resource. Also, if you can only find the filled version of an icon, check out this tutorial for how to make any text or shape into an outline.

Also, each app folder has 4 notification bubble options (1-4 digits). Again, you can toggle these on and off as you need!

3.5 – Big Widgets I like using these when my wallpaper has A LOT of negative space to fill. I included the Photos and Books widgets in my template, but there are lots of widgets available on iPhones. You can check some of the other ones I've done here, or if you have an iPhone, simply try adding some widgets to your phone!

There are also widgets bigger than these, but they would take up half of the phone screen which is why I don't use them for these edits.

3.6 – Small Widgets The only thing I'll say about these — because they're pretty straight forward — is there are a lot more weather themes than I included in my template. Also, if you set your character's phone to evening, the weather widget will show a dark background (sometimes with stars), so keep that in mind.

Speaking of, I've included Light Modes and Dark Modes for, I think, every applicable widget.

3.7 – Page Dots These barely perceptible dots indicate that your character has more pages of apps than shown in your gifset (so if an anon tries to come at you, you can just say "it's on the next page of apps" /j /lh)

3.8 – Dock Again, the dock has notification bubble options and I've included the default app designs, custom filled designs, and custom outlined designs for iMessage, Phone, Email, and Safari (there's also a FaceTime alternative if that's how your character rolls). These are usually the apps people keep in their Dock, but this is fully customizable too. So, if your character is, like, super obsessed with Candy Crush or something and needs it in thumb's reach — you can put it in the dock.

3.9 – Wallpaper This whole folder is masked already to a 230x500 px rounded rectangle.

Inside, you'll find another "Blurred Portion" folder for the area behind the message banner notification and the dock.

What to do: Duplicate your gif layer and place it in this folder, remove any sharpening filters, and apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 px). Be sure to add any coloring/adjustment layers ABOVE this folder and your original sharpened gif layer.

PHASE 4: EXPORT

We made it!

I hope this template makes it super easy for you to recreate this layout! If you decide to try it out, feel free to tag me with #usernik.

If you notice anything wonky about the template, kindly let me know so I can fix it! And if you have any questions about how to use this template, please don't hesitate to send me a message! I just ask that you try to be specific in your question so I'm able to answer you the best I can!

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fuxuannie · 1 year ago

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╭₊˚ ๑︰babysitting sigwinne :)

:★: relationship : wriothesley x g-neutral reader

:★: warnings : none! fluff

:★: a/n : saw a pretty mf and took my chances 🦕 disclaimer : i'll be going with the popular hc that hes nearsighted / blind but if what i write is incorrect or innacurate, please let me know & i'll immediately change what i've written! i'm always welcome to constructive criticism especially in areas im unfamiliar with. i talked with a partially blind friend to help me with this huhu.

You really didn't know what to expect when your boyfriend WRIOTHESLEY tells you that he's coming over.

He could be happy, angry, sad, it's just really hard to tell his mood over paper.

But when you hear that doorbell, you walk over to the door and see him standing there but.. there's a child holding his hand? "Hi!" The little bunny girl waved, smiling brightly however when your eyes shift back to your dearest lover - he seems exhausted, almost the verge of passing out.

"Hello!" You reply with a smile, watching Wriothesley let go of her hand, trudge past you and on his way to your very comfortable couch. "What's your name?" You inquired to the little lady. "I'm Sigwinnie, but I know all about you (name)! Mr. Wriothesley talks about you very fondly."

You couldn't help but feel your heart squeeze at the idea of him talking about you so sweetly, you move away from the door to let Sigwinne in and look at her surroundings - familiarizing herself with the home. "So, do you mind telling me why you're here? Since my boyfriend seems just about dead on my couch."

"I can hear you."

"Great! You can answer."

Picking Sigwinne up into one of your arms, you approach the couch and stand infront of him with your free hand on your hip. "So?"

"Tired."

"I'll kick you out. Explain."

You can hear a defeated groan into the couch cushions. "I have to take care of her, but work came up.. I'm really exhausted but I really didn't want to disturb you like this." He mumbles softly, a hand through his hair while sighing.

Already knowing how much your boyfriend works, you were happy to do this for him and Sigwinne seemed to be a very behaved child at heart. "Alright, rest well." You murmur, bowing down to kiss his forehead softly.

. . . . 💐 . . . .

A few hours pass, Wriothesley is awoken by the sounds of giggling in the distance. His eyes take a moment to adjust, rubbing them softly as he yawns. He looks over to the table to what seems to be a bunch of markers and papers, all depicting what seems to be a happy family.

"Shhh! You're gonna wake him up!"

His head turns to what he can remember to be the general location of the kitchen, hearing hushed giggles followed by the sound of cups clanking.

Of course, it doesn't sound like anything that could cause trouble, but he may aswell check what's happening. Due to the fact he has your home layout memorized, he really has no struggle navigating through the furniture and towards the kitchen.

At first the sight is a blur, what seems to be Sigwinne in your arms reaching up for something in your pantry until a little 'Oop!-' escapes your lips when you realize you've been caught.

Wriothesley takes a moment to adjust his eyes, taking a few steps closer until your smile comes into clear view. "Good morning!" You giggled, the girl in your arms waving enthusiastically as a greeting.

Maybe he's yet to properly process anything, but the sight of you and Sigwinne getting along makes his heart melt. It's adorable to see the light peeking from the windows into the scenery of the kitchen and almost illuminating you in his vision.

"Ah- well- um.. Good morning." He murmurs, turning his head away as he feels that oh so familiar warmth on his cheeks. "Are you blushing???"

To shift the topic, "What were both of you doing?" He asks, remembering the giggles and whispering he had heard. "Oh! We wanted to make you tea."

He then feels a tug on his sleeve, looking down at the Sigwinne who had the sweetest smile on her face. "Tea!"

He hovers his hand over the cup and chuckles.

"I prefer my tea hot, this is ice cold. This is one of your drinks, isn't it?"

"Huuuh?! Not fair! How does he always know.." Sigwinne pouted, her ears flopping downwards in defeat.

You ruffle her hair with a smile. "Oh well, we tried."

"You were apart of this?"

"Noooooo..?"

Wriothesley pulled you by the waist and buried his face into your neck, his laughter echoed into your as his breath tickled your neck. "You really are a handful.."

"Are you guys gonna kiss?"

#♡ — 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #gi x reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader

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kathxrat-01 · 2 months ago

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"So magic controls the weather… It’s always nice to learn a bit more about this world."

Ryoko joins the Golden Frost Fest!

Groovy lines: [LOCKED]

Home Transition:

1. Kiyuu really wanted to go too, but she came down with a cold! Maybe I could bring her back some food, if they allow it. 2. I finished my whole outfit just last night, but I think it’s worth it! I really love dressing up for these types of occasions. 3. The music here makes me feel right at home! As if I know what that even means. Well, it’s the thought that counts!

Home, After Login: The wind is getting colder… Are you sure they haven’t started yet?

Tap Home:

1. Everyone looks amazing! I’d like to go up and compliment some people, but I’m a little nervous. What if they get mad and punch me in the face?! 2. All those flowers look delicious… Do you think I could pluck a few—I’d get banned?! What makes you say that?! 3. Jack was planning on going in just a plain old T-shirt and shorts, so Kiyuu and I had to drag him into the sewing room to decide on something. Luckily I had a little extra fabric lying around… 4. It’s gonna get a lot colder from here on out. Do you think Kiyuu will hold up alright? I don’t really know how her immune system works, but it looks like it doesn’t. Cynthia will be taking care of her while Jack and I are away, but I can’t help but worry. 5. I’ve lost every single game I played here… I hope no one’s keeping score. Hey, I swear I’m not doing it on purpose!... Seventy five percent of the time. It’s just that the others look so excited to get some of the prizes, so I don’t want to decrease their chances, you know?

Event hosted by @the-rini-rush !

More under cut!

I had a really fun time designing Ryoko's oufit! I'm a super huge fan of ruffles and all that LMAO. Here's the full design!

Nah I just kinda went for it idk even know what I was doing.

Groovy will come later! For now I'm starting school, which is in like. 5 hours. Oh no.

I don't really have much to say at all wow. OH THE LINEART TOOK ME 5 HOURS ACTUALLY. WTF. IDK WHY IDK HOW BUT IT DID. ALSO COPYING THE CARD UI WAS SO. DAMN. DAMN IT SUCKS.

Oh yeah Kris I copied ur layout cause idk it was just the most practical teehee (I didn't even mean to actually I swear)

Either way, I hope u guys like Ryoko's fit! Thanks for stopping by and thank you to @/the-rini-rush for hosting the event!

Taglist! (Ask to be added): @skriblee-ksk @boopshoops

#golden-frost-fest #twst oc #twst ryoko #twst fan event #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #oc art #twst fanart #twisted oc #poor Kiyuu I hope she feels better #I could NOT think of a reason she wouldnt be able to go SRY KRIS

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razzmatome · 24 days ago

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Missed Me?

Pairing: Sylus/female OC Word Count: 3175 Rating: Explicit; minors DNI Summary: He's been gone for two weeks and even one more hour apart is too much for him. Note: Based on Day 8 prompt from @/xxsycamore Visions of Temptation list, Workplace Sex. OC is not the Hunter MC Read on AO3

Moving through the quiet hallways, Sylus ignored the looks he was getting from the staff as he passed. He was well aware of how out of place he looked at the hospital but he didn’t care. He had been gone for weeks this time and he wasn’t going to wait for her shift to be over to see her. Even if he knew it nearly was over, it was still too long.

He rounded a corner and spotted Calliope coming out of a room. His stride increased as he watched her close her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck. She looked exhausted. Had she been working overtime while he was gone? Mephisto had been keeping an eye on her and hadn’t mentioned anything about her doing any doubles, but she could have snuck in some overtime and bribed the bird not to tell him.

She seemed to hear his approaching footsteps as she turned to him, her eyes opening lazily before they flew wide open. “Sylus?!” she squeaked, staring at him.

A layer of tension eased off of him at her voice but it wasn’t enough. He caught her hand, smiling down at her before he tugged her down the hallway. His grip on her stayed firm as she stumbled a little but she quickly righted herself and hurried to keep up with him.

“What are you doing here?” Calliope whispered, her voice strained.

“I came to see you,” he said simply, as if it wasn’t obvious.

She sputtered for a moment. “That’s nice but I’m still on shift!”

“I know.” Looking around, he took another turn, searching for the right room. He’d memorized the layout of the hospital a long time ago and knew it was close. There.

She was quiet as she followed him but another sputtering noise left her as he opened a door and hauled her into the room. She looked around, taking in the linens around them before looking at him as he locked the door. “Sylus,” she murmured, “it was just another hour.”

“Oh? Didn’t you miss me? Weren’t you complaining yesterday about how long I’d been gone?” he asked, moving toward her to crowd her against a shelf.

“I did,” she agreed, her hands moving to lightly settle on his waist, “but that didn’t mean you had to rush here or anything.”

Yes it did because he’d missed her just as much as she had him. She’d only been in his life for a few months but she had already made herself right at home in it and not having her there had made him...lonely, frustrated, irritable. All words he had overheard Luke and Kieran muttering to each other when they thought he wasn’t listening. Perhaps he had been a little more ruthless in his business dealings while they’d been apart but it wasn’t because they’d been apart. The fools had merely tested his patience and found out what happened when you did that.

The corners of her mouth twitched when he didn’t say anything. “I have to get back,” she said gently, pushing at his chest. “The shift change will be happening soon and I need to-” She broke off with a moan as he kissed her.

He felt her hands move to fist in his shirt, tugging at it as he pushed his tongue past her lips. He crowded into her further, wanting the press of her soft body against his. A quiet hiss left him as she tugged his shirt out of his pants and cool fingers slid under the fabric to touch skin. His stomach jerked as she stroked the edges of his abdomen and he almost backed up to give her access to what she wanted.

But he enjoyed the feel of her pressed against him more.

Her eyes were hazy as he broke the kiss, her lips parted as she panted softly. “Sylus....”

He smiled at her, tracing her lower lip with his thumb. “You don’t want to wait, do you, sweetie?” he asked softly.

He saw her gaze flick to the door before coming back to him. Her short nails raked against him as she wound her arms around him. “No,” she admitted.

Kissing her again, he slid one hand around to cup the back of her head to keep her where he wanted her while the other trailed down her body. Her maroon scrubs weren’t exactly the best for what he had in mind but he was done waiting. She rose up on her toes on a sharp inhale, never breaking the kiss, as he cupped her breast through her clothes. “Always so sensitive for me,” he purred, nipping at the corner of her mouth.

“Shut up and touch me,” she whispered.

He smirked at the demand and trailed his hand down her side further. “Oh? Are you that desperate already?”

“You’ve been gone for two weeks,” Calliope hissed.

“I asked you to come with me,” he reminded her, teasing the tips of his fingers under the waistband of her scrubs.

She rolled her eyes at him. “I can’t just take two weeks off work.”

She could have. He would gladly cover whatever expenses she had but that was an argument for another time. He slid his fingers in further and pushed them under her panties. Any other thoughts of arguing or teasing her fled from him as he found her practically dripping for him.

Calliope arched against him, pushing against hand and body as he slipped one finger between her folds to find her clit. “Fuck!” she panted, her fingers digging into his back. “Oh, fuck!”

He watched her, holding her captive as he rubbed circles over the bundle of nerves. He could feel her thighs twitching on either side of his hand as she fought not to move, letting him play with her. Her eyes were rapidly getting darker as arousal clouded her face and he could see the flush spreading across her cheeks. There was no stopping his slow smile as he watched her, taking in how she started falling apart so quickly with so little.

She bit down on her lip, pressing her head back into the shelf and his grip as his hand shifted further into her underwear. He easily parted her folds and sank his middle finger into her. She choked out his name, jerking against him as he curled his finger to put pressure on her g-spot.

Oh, he had missed her. Easing his finger out, he slowly pumped it back into her, ignoring the previous spot just to work it inside her. He watched her eyes flutter shut before a mewling moan spilled from her as he slipped a second finger in. She shifted on her feet, rolling her hips to push down against him and making quiet frustrated noises as her clothes kept him from fucking them deeper into her.

He wasn’t surprised when her hands left him and she shoved her pants down her thighs. The wet sounds of his fingers moving inside her grew louder and he watched her shudder as she tried to spread her legs a little more for him. “Good kitten,” he purred. “Let me do this.”

She whimpered, nodding frantically as his thumb pressed to her clit. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded. “Sylus, please, don’t stop.”

He nearly shuddered at the soft begging. He wanted in her. He wanted in her while her desperate pleas fell against his skin. They’d indulged in teasing over the phone while he’d been gone but he would always take being able to touch and see her like this over anything else. She clutched at him again as she rose up on her toes, trying to get away from the constant press of his fingers into her. “Ah, ah, kitten,” he murmured, leaning into her so his mouth was next to ear. “You told me not to stop. Don’t change your mind now.”

She was sucking in short, gasping breaths, the flush spreading down her pale neck. Her eyes were screwed shut as she focused on what his hand was doing between her thighs.

Sylus smiled to himself, nipping at her ear. “Are you going to come on my fingers?” he breathed, tugging on her hair to move her head and expose more of her neck to him. He pressed small, sharp kisses against her, not hard enough to leave a mark. Not yet. If he marked her now, she’d get held up at work and he wouldn’t get to take her home as quickly as he wanted. “Right here on your floor?”

Her moan got caught in her throat as he closed his teeth on her and she shook against him. “Sylus. Please.”

His exhale raced across her skin but he curled his fingers inside her on the next stroke. He let go of her hair to clamp his hand over her mouth as a high wail started to spill out of her when he didn’t let up. He kept the pressure on her g-spot even as the wet sounds grew even louder with every shift of his hand.

He straightened to look at her face, growling softly, “Open your eyes. Look at me.”

Tears were gathering at the corner of her eyes as she opened them, wanton lust coating her expression. She was panting heavily behind his hand, noises spilling out of her freely now that he was muffling her.

He leaned in, holding her gaze. “Should I move this?” he asked, tapping his fingers against her cheek. “Let everyone know what you’re doing while on shift?”

Her brow pinched and she weakly shook her head. Her eyes started to roll back as he kept moving his hand, not letting up with finger fucking her.

“No? Are you going to show me how much you missed me and come on my fingers?”

Calliope nodded almost frantically, trying to look at him again when he knew she wanted to just close her eyes and enjoy her approaching orgasm. But she was being good for him and not looking away.

“Are you going to let me fuck you and fill you up while you finish your shift? Have me dripping onto your panties for the next hour?”

She inhaled sharply before a loud sound not even his hand could muffle left her as she came.

He kept his hand on her mouth as she shuddered and squeezed his fingers with both her cunt and her thighs. He didn’t stop, fucking them as deep as they could get into her, watching as the tears tracked down her cheeks with each choked sound leaving her. He watched as her brow started to pinch as it became too much, the hand clutching his arm weakly pushing at it now.

He pushed his fingers in one more time before he pulled both of his hands away from her. She gasped out a protest before it cut off as he gripped her hips and spun her around. “Hold on,” he growled at her, pulling his belt loose.

She grabbed the shelf with trembling hands and peeked at him over her shoulder. There was no hesitation or resistance on her face; she wanted this as much as he did. She jerked against the shelf when his hand landed heavily on her bare ass, the smack filling the small room. She shuddered as he spread the wetness on his fingers across her skin and mewled his name softly as he smacked her again.

Giving his own pants a shove, he gave his cock one quick pump, smearing his precum across the head. His fingers dug into her ass as he spread her, lining up to push into her. She rose up on her toes with a breathless shriek as he sank into her, burying himself as deep as he could on the first stroke. He gripped her hips as she squirmed, holding her still for a moment before he eased out and thrust back into her, pushing deeper.

Her head slumped against the towels on the shelf in front of her, her panting filling his ears as he started fucking into her. His pace wasn’t kind as he worked through the last two weeks without her but no protest left her. The only noises she made were pleased and aroused, encouraging him to take her harder, to do exactly what he had promised earlier.

He grit his teeth as he felt her clench around him, trying to hold him in, and he leaned into her. “Did you miss me inside you?” he rasped, his mouth against her ear again. “Did you miss being full?”

“Yes,” she whimpered against the towels. “Yes!”

His hips smacked against her thighs, forcing her closer to the shelf. “Come with me next time,” he breathed, “then you won’t have to miss anything.”

One dark blue eye cracked open to look at him as she shifted her head. “Wouldn’t get this then,” she whispered, her voice catching.

He stared at her before a smug smile curled his mouth. “You like being claimed like this, kitten?” Sylus purred. “Like me reminding your body who it belongs to?”

She squeezed her eyes shut again, her head tipping back to press against him as he fucked her harder. One arm wound around her middle to keep her from getting too far from him and hauling her back to meet each one of his thrusts. “Yes,” she moaned raggedly.

Well, fuck. He already knew she enjoyed it when he got more physical with her but this just made it worse. Or better thinking about how this could be his reward for their time apart. He shoved those thoughts aside. He’d think about that later. Right now, he had other things to consider.

Towels fell from the shelf as she blindly grasped for more to hold onto as his hand shifted to let his fingers find her clit.

“Already?” he teased but he was panting himself. She was squeezing him so deliciously, her body primed for another orgasm, and demanding his as well.

“Missed you!” she gasped, her voice tense.

He kissed her ear for the honest admission but he didn’t relent. He wouldn’t stop until they both had what they wanted. His hand snaked up the front of her scrubs and he greedily cupped her breast through her bra. But it wasn’t enough. He tugged at the fabric until he felt skin, could pinch her tight nipple between his fingers.

Her high keen cut off sharply and a look showed she had grabbed another towel to bite into it, muffling her noises. She pushed against him as much as she could, arching her back to try to press more of her breast into his hand even as the force of his thrusts pinned her further against the shelf.

“Take it,” Sylus growled against her ear, feeling her walls start to tighten on him. “Take me.”

One of her hands fell to grip the arm around her waist and her nails dug into him as she held on. She wasn’t even trying to stop her moans now and the towel could only do so much. But there was nothing to dampen the wet sounds of his cock sliding into her pussy or the sharp smack of his body against hers.

“So close, Calliope,” he breathed, making her wail at her name. “So close. Give it to me. Give it to me again.”

He could feel her chest heaving as she panted for air around the towel, hear the hitch in it as he didn’t slow. She was close. Her body was shaking as she struggled, not trying to keep up with him, merely trying to stay upright for him. A sharp inhale and her fingers digging deeper into him were the brief warning before she screamed into the towel.

Grunting deeply as he felt her squeeze him, he kept thrusting but they were growing sloppy. He could say what he wanted to tease her about how easily she came for him, but he had no defence against feeling her come on his cock. Pressing his face into the crook of her neck, he didn’t let up on rubbing her clit to drag out her orgasm and using her fluttering muscles to force his own climax out of him. He heard her moan, felt her shudder, at the low gasp he pressed into her neck as the first thick rope of cum spilled from him and into her willing cunt.

One more sharp thrust before he kept his hips tight to her ass as he kept coming, grinding against her as more cum shot from him. His fingers slowed against her clit, twitching slightly, before he curled them around her trembling thigh as pleasure flooded him. He breathed hard against her neck as he leaned into her, pressing as much of his body against hers as he could.

He could feel her shaking, not only her legs but the whole of her as she tried to stay upright. Her little, pleased sounds were still muffled by the towel and he regretted that they weren’t somewhere he could have heard all of them. But he hadn’t been willing to wait any longer.

Taking a deep breath, Sylus pressed a soft kiss to her neck and murmured, “Still with me, sweetie?”

“Mmno,” she mumbled, her voice thick.

He smiled and gave her another kiss. “Just one more hour,” he said, kissing up to her ear. “Then I’ll take you home.”

Calliope shifted just enough to meet his gaze and his smile shifted into a grin at the petulant look on her face. “I have to fill out reports,” she grumbled. “How am I going to be able to focus on reports?”

He moved enough to kiss her pout, drawing her lower lip in between his teeth to suck on it. But a soft hiss left him as she clenched around him again. “You’ll manage.”

She huffed at him. “Are you going to help me at least?”

He considered it, weighing his options, but he knew the sooner he got her back to her duties, the sooner he’d be able to have her for himself again. He still frowned in disappointment as he slid out of her, moving back from her. But a low, approving growl left him as he saw the cum dripping out of her. He quickly slid his fingers against her folds, scooping it up and pressing it back into her.

She sucked in a sharp breath, staggering into the shelf again. “Sylus!”

He gave one slow pump of his fingers inside her for good measure before removing them and pulling up her panties and scrubs. He turned her around, smirking at the glare on her face, and tapping wet fingers against her lips. “Be good and keep it in for me,” he purred, watching her eyes glaze over a little as he pressed his fingers into her mouth for her to suck on. “Do that and I’ll give you everything you want.”

#love and deepspace #sylus love and deepspace #lnds sylus #love and deepspace fanfic #sylus x oc #sylus smut #sylus #lads smut #kinktober #visions of temptation 2024 #plus sized oc #lnds fanfic

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thebubblyship · 2 months ago

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I got permission. And so begins my ranting. Strap in fellas.

So I recently got into printing out some fanfics physically, and the first one I had to tackle was the first 25 chapters of an amazing fanfic called Yuuei Survival Guide. The art and the writing are not mine, but I do plan on actually drawing a custom cover for the last 25 chapters so I don't feel guiltly snagging someone else's art for it.

So that's the front cover! The story heavily focuses on Oboro and Izuku's growing relationship so for the first book (I can only print so much in one book), so I knew right away I wanted for the two of them to be seperated on the front and back of the covers for the first book, and for them to be together for the second book (symbolizing their friendship growing).

That's why I threw Izuku onto the back cover with the description, along with them having the day/night theme. I feel like the day/night cycle symbolizes them pretty well.

Obviously, required spine with title on it so I don't lose it amongst my other books. I meshed their sky colors together with a blend tool and changed their opacity in the middle so they come together for the spine.

Book title with author, very required very cool.

And here is the second page, because I wanted the first page to be the gap page (if that makes sense) in case printing went wrong. I also included a cute piece of fanart I found for the fic along with a quote because I found it rather adorable.

Following is where it gets messy. I was able to download the full fanfic off of Ao3, but the file was so large word just died out on me so I switched over to just copy and pasting, editing while I go. Especially since I wanted to go through and format. That's when I noticed the author has begun to go back and re-edit through the book to update it to their current writing style, because I have such convient timing lmao.

I indented the chapter titles down a good few lines, made the first part of every chapter a bigger font than the rest, and just went to town. I also found a very lovely page break online that I added, since it fit the theme and looked rather nice.

In total, this physical version totalled to about 650 pages for the first 25 chapters. The end page down below, along with some more fanart:

I think in total, making everything took me about a week or two to do? Since I put it into a google doc, I was able to work on it during slow hours at my job and knock it out. Obviously printing and shipping added onto that time, so in total I'd say around a month to produce it?

I absolutely adore it, it came in this morning and I was grinning like an idiot while I checked it out. I plan on editing the last 25 chapters and making some art myself for it, since I: A. Need to actually draw fanart for this platonic duo, love them, and B. Have a very specific idea for them I want to do for the cover.

Definitely made some mistakes along the way for this first one, but there's only up to go in doing this! I love being able to physically hold it and it's definitely going on my self for a constant read. It's so beautiful!!!!

@lowlywriter I'll figure out how to condense down instructions on how to print it, along with getting a zip file of the cover layout and everything for it. (And I mentioned this earlier but I definitely did see the writing changes, last I checked you finished chapter 4 I believe? So there definitely is a writing tone shift in the book but I don't mind lol).

I'm so happy with the final result and I can't wait to tackle the last 25 chapters aaaaaaaa!!!!!!

#yuuei survival guide #fanfic printing

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keystonepublishing · 1 year ago

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There Will Come Soft Rains by @tunastime

Wedding Bands only need Three Gold Pieces by wisteriaworlds / @percivex

Where and How our Fires Burn by @plumelagoon

After a week of printing, cutting, and gluing, I have finally finished a long-held goal of mine to bind these three fanfics!

After the last mammoth bookbinding project, I wanted to do something simple for a change. So, I decided to bind some Rancher Duo fics for my personal enjoyment while using some of the cheapest materials and leftover stuff that I can find. While the overall binding process was comparatively simpler, there were also a few new tricks I use in the making of these ficbooks.

If I could sum it up, I would say that these ficbinds are a sort-of "working experiment". As in, experimenting in making, gluing, and putting what goes where at which sections of the book.

For starters, the endpapers of various feathers are just cut sections of present-wrapping paper I found at a store. I intended to use a different paper pattern for the inside cover/endpaper, but ran out of that and bought the feather one instead. Given how Jimmy is head-cannoned and written as a canary of death, it's serendipitously fitting.

I also went for simplicity at the spine; just a long piece of cardstock. Simple and effective, yet somehow it went wonky for one book when it came to gluing. Why? How? I don't know!

Experimentation was afoot from the title page alone. The first two fics are titled plainly, but I decided to place a semi-transparent visual of a feather at the last ficbind, just to test the visual look. I'd say it looks a lot more interesting and fits the fic's vibe, though I also like the simplicity of the last two title pages.

The front matter (or information page/s) was also a place where slight experiments were done, namely at keeping all the information contained to one page. If there is just too much info, can I make it a two-page spread without it looking like a boring wall of text? And lastly: is there enough room to add the AO3 logo and my own?

The second and third ficbinds use symbols as dividers between different sections of info, and the third ficbind has no logo - more on that later.

I then experimented on the first page: could I use pictures or visuals to set the mood for the fic? Each picture was taken from the internet and edited to fit the page, though it look me literal hours to find the right pictures to use in the first place.

The titles have a pop of red color to make for an interesting visual effect. Soft Rains and How Our Fires Burn also have drop caps at their opening paragraphs to see if it fits with the visual look and layout.

There Will Come Soft Rains was also the first time I did some fancy editing in regards to the letter-writing sections of the fic. The paper background was easy, but it took some time to find the exact fonts that could fit Tango and Jimmy's writing vibe. I also divided Tango and Jimmy's perspectives with thematic dividers - a cowboy hat and redstone block, naturally.

I then repeated the visual vibe at the opening pages for the ending. As Wedding Bells ended at the left page, the opposite right page was a singular photo that conveys the vibe of the fic's ending. Since the other two ficbinds ended at the right page, I tried to come up with a way of conveying the emotional touchstone of their endings and settled on a double-page spread of photos.

Setting the photos to that they seem to meet at the center was a bit finicky, and it ultimately did not print as a seamless whole. Still, I like the effect those photos give to the ending(s).

Same concept, but simplified at the End Notes. I ultimately feel the simplified visuals of the latter ficbinds ended up better than the complete picture of my first attempt.

Also, remember how one ficbind, Where and How Our Fires Burn, did not have the logos at the front matter / information page? That's because that fic was when I experimented with a colophon and placed the logos of AO3 and my own there. Thinking about it, I may not use this method if I want to make a simple bookbind that saves pages, but definitely will for bigger projects.

Full credits for all these fics to their writers!

#solidaritek #team rancher #rancher duo #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #tangotek #bookbinding #fanbinding #ficbinding #my bookbinds #Keystone Publishing #MCYT

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ssixely · 3 months ago

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Which apps would I recommend? (3)

It's a bit long, bear with me. I tried to give as much info about the apps as possible. Reminder that I have an iphone, n one app isn't available on google play. I did try to find a alternative that seemed good enough from the pictures of it. 2 of these apps go straight to the point, 1 app is an alternative for people who can't have obvious apps on their phones.

Hope you guys do find this useful !! If you want more apps (or more specific themed apps), you can comment it n I'll try my best to find a good useful app for it.

MyNetDiary

app store, google play n website (n apple watch)

MyNetDiary is my favorite out of them all. It's already pretty popular between in the pr0 - 3d community! It has an app n a website version, which means: wherever you go, MyNetDiary is always with you! You can also download it on your apple watch (n log your w31ght through it or log 'quick c4ls', see your c4ls of the day, ect). DM's r open if you need help figuring out the app (since it took me a little to figure it all out lol).

With MyNetDiary, you can: - log your consumed food, keep track of your consumed c4ls, set a c4l budget, scan food labels (only available on the app) - log your w31ght, get a chart of your w31ght over the past [days, months, year, ect] - set your gw n set a target date you wanna achieve it by, - keep track of [carbs, protein, fat, ect] - connect your account to your health app (like 'apple health' on iphone) - so much more.

Intermittent F4st1ng Tracker

app store (n apple watch) google play alternative: 'FastEasy'

Intermittent F4st1ng Tracker is, as the name implies, an app for f4st1ng. I've been using it for a while n am pretty satisfied w it!

With Intermittent Fasting Tracker, you can: - set lots of different 'f4st goals', like 13:11, 16:8, 18:6, 20:4, 23:1 (OMAD) - set 'f4st goals' over 24 hours (you can set one up to 1 week) - log your w31ght - get an overview of your f4sts (how many hours, ect)

Structured

app store, google play (n apple watch, macbook)

This one is more for the people who have to keep it more hidden for privacy. Structured is a simple day planner, not made solely for losing. But! It is useful anyhow, especially if you do not want apps on your phone that give your journey away. (I can name a few people I know w strict parents, who's check their phones.) DM's open for this too, always willing to help you get a good layout on the app for this.

How would this work? Well, you can use Structured for: - logging your f4sts - logging your c4ls n w31ght everyday - putting your c4l budget to "apply entire day" so you have an overview - N more!

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 2 years ago

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Wash Day With Matt Murdock

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Black!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none what kind of warnings would I even need here hehehe

Genre: fluff of course

Summary: What wash day looks like when your boyfriend Matt surprises you with a visit

***

The familiar knock on your door as you walk from your bedroom to your bathroom stops you in your tracks. Your boyfriend usually knocks in a particular patern because he knows how unlikely it is for you to open the door when you're not expecting company. You detour to your apartment door and swing it open for Matthew.

"Hey Matty." You say with a smile.

"Hey, I hope it's alright that I uh came by... are you doing something with your hair? It smells like that... oil you usually put in like once a week."

"I didn't expect to see you today but it's totally fine that you came over. You know you're always welcome here baby, and there's probably some oil on my fingers I just took my braids down, I was planning to wash my hair today." You tell him, grabbing his arm to lead him into your apartment. You know very well that he's familiar with the layout of your place but you like to use guiding him as an excuse to touch him.

"Oh- sorry I disrupted your plans I- I would've called first but I just thought I'd come by for dinner since it's been a few days since we've spent time together. I've been so busy with this latest case I-"

"If you're going to apologize for having to work darling you don't have to. You also don't have to apologize for 'disrupting'. I'm always happy to see you." You cut him off.

"I mean if you have to wash your hair though-"

"If you can entertain yourself for an hour, I'll be yours for the rest of the night once I'm done." You kiss his cheek.

"An hour?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. It takes a while. Do you want an audiobook or something?"

"An audiobook? Did you get new ones?"

"I did yeah, here I'll get the kindle."

"Just pick a random one for me!" Matt calls out as you head to your room quickly. You set up a book and pass it to Matt.

"Alright, I'll be back in like- an hour." You kiss his cheek.

"Should I order food?" Matt asks.

"Oh I've got a pizza I was gonna make but if you'd like to order something else be my guest." You say going into the bathroom to wash your hair. Between shampooing, conditioning, and detangling your hair the process can be pretty lengthy. On a good day it takes 45 minutes but if the tangles are particularly tough or you need to do multiple shampoos you could easily be in there for almost 90 minutes total. The universe and your tempermental collection of curls seem to be very much on your side today as you're out of the shower in just less than an hour. You wrap a shirt around your hair and dry yourself off before going to your room to put on lotion and find something to wear. You throw on a pair of sweats and a shirt before padding back out to the living room to Matt.

"You're done?" He asks passing the kindle to you. You pause the book that you'd played for him and set the tablet on the table beside the couch.

"Yep, just to dry it now." You hum.

"I ordered takeout while you were in there by the way." Matt says gesturing towards your coffee table where an unopened bag of food sits.

"Oh! Cool, well let's eat then." You say sitting beside him on the couch and opening the boxes. You hand Matt his food and utensils before tucking into your own order.

"So- why does your hair take so long?" Matt asks you with a curious look on his face.

"Um- I know I've pretty much always had it in braids every time we see each other but it's actually pretty thick and tangles easily so I have to take some time to work through it or else it'll get real bad." You explain.

"Oh okay, is there a reason you always wear braids then? Is it less maintenance?"

"In some ways. Doing the braids is time consuming but once they're done I can, pretty much not do anything to my hair for a while, besides oil it." You shrug.

"Are you- going to put it back in braids now then?"

"No I actually think I'll wear the curls for a little while. I like my curls."

"Can I- is it okay if I feel your hair?" Matt's question is hesitant. You've told him enough stories of people treating Black people and their hair like spectacles that he knows it can be an offputting request. You giggle a little at him, you're glad he understands the plight but feeling is one of the ways he can see- you'd never berate him for that.

"Well let me dry it a little first and then you can do whatever you want." You say unwrapping the shirt from the top of your head and running it over sections of your hair until it's not so damp.

"Is that- is that a t-shirt? Do you not use a towel?"

"Did you just- hear the fabric against my hair or something?"

"Something like that- why are you using a shirt?"

"Much like your sensitive skin, my hair does not react well to certain things and towels have a tendency to be too harsh. So I use a cotton t-shirt. Like how I wear a silk scarf or a bonnet to bed. My hair has very special requirements." You tell him. The bonnets and scarves conversation had been another interesting dive into Matt's cluelessness but he was nothing if not understanding albiet a little curious about it when he'd first slept over.

"Fascinating." He muses.

"The roots are still damp in some places, it'll take a while for the whole thing to dry, but it should be dry enough for now, just- since I just washed my hair, go wash your hands before they go anywhere near it." You tell him. Matt laughs but stands up and makes his way to the sink without protest. His hands are washed and dried a few minutes later and he's back at your side, gently threading his fingers through your hair.

"It's very soft." He mutters.

"Yeah, shout out to my conditioner." You hum contently. You don't really have many opportunities to have some play with your hair this way, it's actually very soothing from the right hands apparently.

"How often do you have to do this? I can't imagine spending an hour washing your hair every other day is practical."

"That's because I don't. My hair doesn't get greasy the way straight hair does, in fact I have to put stuff in it to make sure it doesn't dry out, so I can go a lot longer than a few days without washing it."

"I should really do some research on this stuff." He hums.

"What for?" You laugh.

"Well I feel silly having to ask you these things I mean- you shouldn't have to sit here and explain how you wash your hair like I'm a child."

"I mean the answers would be slightly different for everybody so the best way to find out about me would be to ask me. Like, I wouldn't go asking Foggy about how you write an opening. You're both lawyers sure but I've seen first hand that your processes are not the same." You shrug.

"I just know that being interviewed about your haircare isn't exactly an enjoyable way for you to pass the time." He frowns dropping his hand as you sit up to cup his cheek.

"Matthew, if I ever have a problem with a question you ask me, I will be the first to tell you it bothers me- but you trying to learn about your girlfriend is not the same as microagressions in the workplace. If you cross a line I will let you know, but I was well aware there were be things you'd probably have to be taught when I decided to date you. There are lines, you haven't even approached them yet." You say looking at him intently, he can't see you but you're positive he can tell.

"You're sure?"

"Listen to my heart yourself if you don't believe me but I'm being honest with you." You say.

"I'll still do some more research on my own I think." Matt says after a moment and you can't help but chuckle.

"Suit yourself baby. For now, you can tell me about the book you listened to." You say, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Have you not read it?"

"No I bought it for you to read." You tell him. He sighs so sweetly before he launches into a synopsis of what he read. The two of you spend the rest of the evening talking, first about the book, then about work and from there it spirals outward until you're both half asleep shuffling to your bed and falling asleep. You'll admit, dating Matt wasn't necessarily something you thought would go far as your track record with white people doesn't lean positive but you know Matt tries really hard to make sure he's the best partner he can be to you; he insists it's the very least he can do for you accepting his double lifestyle, not that you find that to be something worth complaining about, still it's something others haven't given and you do love him more for it.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x black!reader #matt murdock fluff #daredevil fluff

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silly-inky · 3 months ago

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Hiya! Hello! It's me, ya boi

Updates people Updates!

So I'm making this sort of list of things I am in the process of making or should start working on soon (or things I have yet to post about yet) with little updates about them

Dimentio drawing- this is going alright so far but is a somewhat complicated piece where I will have 2 different end results, one with his mask and one without. I'm on the shaping phase of my lineart which is usually fun for me but I decided to take a small break from it as I was put off by how much time I spent on the sketch (about 30 hours) this does not mean the piece is complicated, just that it took a while to get everything right. I will get back to drawing this soon. This is a digital drawing

You were someone to me a lifetime ago- so for those who don't know I have a fic I'm working on. I released chapter 4 last month and hope to start working on the 5th chapter this month. After the last chapter was posted I started working on the layout of the story as up until this point I was just winging it and going with the flow with not much of a plan, but I know I should have some sort of base to follow in order to keep my writing consistent and have proper flow, because of this I have planned several chapters in advance now, and those who enjoy it will be happy to know that this fic will most likely have more than 30 chapters although I cannot say what number there will be specifically. I want to try and get more chapters out in a short amount of time as I don't want to drag this out but I cannot promise anything

My writing and ideas- so as said in a previous post, I have quite a few ideas that I have had but didn't share in here either because I was too lazy, forgot, or was self conscious. I will probably start to work on a few I already have written out and start to post them, I will also start to post more headcanon posts. Because of all these ideas I have had I actually have some other things that i will be able to share, which lead into..

Mario AU- an AU ( alternate universe) of which I made sort of out of the blue by accident which I have slowly been building on and I even have some doodles to go along with the basic lore of it. What is this AU you ask? Well you'll just have to wait and see, I will say that there is definitely some role swap in which makes things very interesting

Shipping- so for some who may have guessed, I am a multi-shipper, which isn't anything new but I preface this because of me delving into these ships a bit more. For instance me drawing Dimentio has sparked a lot of Dimentio and Dimigi (Dimentio x Luigi) ideas to form and be made, I shipped it before hand but I was and still am focused on booigi. So you may very well see some Dimigi soon as well as your scheduled booigi

Please do keep in mind like I have stated many times before, I struggle with motivation a lot and it can be very difficult for me to get things done, I don't know when any of this will be finished and forcing myself to get it all finished now will only burn me out more. I'm sorry I haven't been posting a lot of content recently as I've been struggling with a few things recently, I'll try and get content out for you as soon as I can and I hope it will make up for it. I was hoping that at least by posting this you will be aware of my plans and what is currently in the works so you guys are up to date

Also I wanted to just say that I appreciate the asks so much, it really means a lot and I love answering them! I do want to add if you are one of the 2 maybe 3 people who submitted an ask a little while ago, I just want to say that I haven't forgotten about them, I wish to draw proper responses for them I just haven't gotten around to it hey, I hope to answer them soon for you though

Have some old pics of my son (ignore how pale I am)

#inky rambles

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hbyrde36 · 1 year ago

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Chapter 16!

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

ao3 link

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 (Chapter 17 (final) coming soon!)

One of Wayne’s hands landed like a comforting weight on Steve's back. “It’s gonna be alright. Whatever you done, I'm sure there's a way to fix it.”

Steve let out a half hysterical bark of laughter and finally lifted his head from between his shaking hands.

“I don’t know if I can, but I have to try. Can you head downtown? I need you to drop me off somewhere.” Eddie could be anywhere. The theater, the club, or any one of the many other businesses he was involved in, but in any case they would be headed in the right direction.

Wayne nodded and made a u-turn, speeding down the road as Steve picked his phone back up off the footwell and dialed Dustin.

“Hey Steve! What’s up?”

Steve’s heartbeat picked up at the sound of the boy’s voice. How could he ever have put Dustin's safety in Henry’s hands? He felt shame wash over him like a tidal wave, for a growing number of reasons.

“Where are you right now?” Steve asked in a rush.

“Underground still, I just got up. Everything okay?”

“Is Eddie with you? I need to talk to him right away, it’s important.”

“Oh.” Dustin exclaimed, surprised. “Um, is it an emergency? Because he’s upstairs in the theater getting ready for the party and..”

Steve had no idea what party Dustin was talking about but it hardly mattered. He considered trying to talk to Eddie mind to mind, it might be faster, but he was still a few miles away, and wasn’t sure what the range was on that kind of power.

“Yes, it’s an emergency.” Steve interrupted. “No, everything is not okay, I need you to run the phone to him as fast as you can. Please hurry.”

“Shit. Okay, hang on.”

The sound that came through the phone was a bizarre mix of rapidly pounding footsteps and a whooshing so loud it was like he was standing in a wind storm. In less than two minutes the phone was being handed off, and Eddie’s familiar voice filled the line.

“Steve?” The vampire sounded almost panicked, as if he knew that only a matter of life and death would have Steve calling him like this.

“Eddie, I…” He swallowed hard. “There’s… fuck… there’s a vampire coming after you. He’s…” He trailed off again, throat tight as he struggled to tell Eddie what he’d done.

Eddie scoffed. “Is that all? Tell him to get in line behind all the others.”

“No, you don’t understand. I-” Steve took a deep breath and blew it out slow. “Eddie, I gave you up to him. I told him that you spend your daylight hours under the theater. I even gave him the layout of the place. I told him everything, everything. His name is Henry Creel and he’s the oldest thing I've ever met. Older than Billy, older than Anglea, in fact I think he’s Angela’s master. I thought…” Steve sighed, there was no point trying to explain. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, but they are working together. It’s all been a plan to trick me into betraying you and helping them, and I fell for it.”

The silence on the other end of the line was absolute, and he thought Eddie might have hung up on him. He wouldn’t have blamed him if he had.

Steve pulled the phone away from his ear to check but the call was still connected.

“Eddie?”

“You were really going to let him kill me?” Eddie breathed the words, the shock and hurt so painfully clear in his voice.

Steve’s chest began to ache. “You marked me again after I refused. I… you just kept pushing and… I was so mad at you. I… I didn't feel like I had any other choice.” He said weakly, the excuse sounding lame now even to his own ears.

Eddie cleared his throat and when he spoke again sounded a little more like his usual self. “So what changed? Why warn me now if you wanted me dead so badly?”

Steve pressed on, ignoring the way Eddie’s words hit him like a knife in the gut, though he probably deserved the pain. This was too important, he had to tell him their plan. “Henry wants to take control of the city so he can order all of your vampires to kill humans. He means for there to be a massacre tomorrow night. When we met, he told me he thought legalized vampirism was helping his kind to spread too quickly. I agreed with him but I didn't know what he meant to do. He wants vampires to be hunted again. I didn't know this was his plan to discredit them.”

“So that’s it? You are warning me now to save human lives?”

“Well, yes, but…” Steve stammered.

“This is what it took for you to believe I am the lesser evil?”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in his chest blossoming to the point that he could hardly feel anything else. Had he just been a scared idiot this whole time?

“I’m sorry.” He whispered it so softly he wasn’t sure Eddie had even heard until he replied.

“It’s okay, Steve.” Eddie said, so much hurt and resignation carried in three simple words. “I will do what I can to save your precious humans.”

“It isn’t like that, please, I’m on my way to you now. I-” Steve cut himself off, afraid of what he was about to say. He started again. “He’s so powerful, Eddie. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“I’ll see what arrangements I can make. I’ll put up a good fight at the very least.”

Steve wanted to say- We! We’ll put up a good fight!- But he didn’t think his late show of support would carry much weight with the vampire now. Instead he concentrated on the first part of Eddie’s statement.

“What does that mean? Shouldn’t we just hide you or something?”

“I have an idea, if this Henry will agree to it.”

“And you’re going to do what? Negotiate with him?”

“I’m going to do the best I can with what I have. Send his number to this phone.” Eddie paused before adding. “See you soon, Steve.” Before hanging up.

Steve stared down at the blank screen wondering how the hell they were going to get out of this. He hoped Jane had something up her sleeve.

“Was that your vampire on the phone then?” Wayne prodded.

Steve didn’t bristle at the use of your vampire like he might have before.

He was tired of denying the truth, even to himself.

Look at where it had gotten him.

Look at what he’d done in his denial.

Steve nodded, throat tight. He owed Wayne an explanation, he knew that.

He started to try and talk but Wayne stopped him.

“I think I got the general idea of it, son. You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

The older man paused, keeping his eyes on the road while he dug through his center console. He pulled out an old pack of cigarettes and shook one out, steering with his knee for a moment as he lit it. Wayne hadn’t smoked for years.

“Did I ever tell you I was adopted?”

“No…” Steve had no idea where this was coming from, or where it could possibly be going, but he wasn’t going to question the man.

“Yep.” Wayne nodded, smiling a little and gesturing with the cigarette as he spoke. “Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, the folks who raised me, they couldn't have any kids of their own. They had these neighbor’s, the Munsons, who were blessed with seven children, including a little surprise newborn me 5 years after their last. They were struggling as it was without one more mouth to feed, so the Thompson's took me in, adopted me and raised me as their own.”

Munson?

As in, Eddie Munson?

“What are you saying, Wayne?”

“I’m saying, I did a little research on my family tree, my birth family, and it turns out that your Eddie is my many-times great uncle. He didn’t have any kids of his own before he died, er well, before he was turned, but his brother did.”

“I don’t know what to say, I'm so sorry. I-”

“It’s alright. You didn’t know, and what’s done is done. I can’t really blame you for how you feel, and there was a time when I probably would have done the same thing as you. I’m not telling you all this to make you feel guilty, I’m telling you so you’ll understand that there is no way in hell you’re convincing me to sit this one out. Your Eddie might not know it, but he's my family, and I take care of my own.”

“Even though he’s a vampire?”

Wayne shrugged, peering at him sideways with a meaningful look. “Nobody’s perfect.”

Steve got the feeling they weren’t talking about his family tree any more.

Wayne blew a long plume of smoke out the window and glanced at him again. “You still think your feelings for him aren’t real?”

“Even if they were, there's a big difference between accepting the fact that your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink or refuses to take out the trash, and accepting that they, y’know– drink blood and kill people.”

“You sure he’s killed?”

Steve gave Wayne his own look then, feeling mildly justified for it. “He’s several hundred years old and a master vampire so I'm gonna say yeah, probably."

“Okay, fair enough, but, you’ve killed too.”

“That’s different.” Steve said, immediately defensive.

“Is it?”

Was it different? Steve let himself think about it, really think about it for the first time, but how could he really judge? He didn’t know anything about Eddie’s past, had never bothered to ask. He hadn’t thought it mattered. He just assumed all these bad things about him based solely on the fact that he was a vampire.

“Okay, fine. But there's still the marks to consider and-”

“Listen, I get it Steve. Really I do, but wouldn’t it be a shame to throw away something like that if there’s a chance that it is real?”

Steve looked away. He had to. He stared out the window and watched the world go by at 70 miles an hour and wondered what he’d given up by being so close-minded. “I don’t think it matters anymore.” He muttered softly.

He had tried to get Eddie killed, and unless a miracle happened it was likely that the vampire would die at Henry’s hands. And at Steve’s by extension.

It was a hell of a time for him to start accepting his feelings, the same moment Eddie was no doubt learning to hate him in return. They might all be dead in the next twenty-four hours anyway, so maybe now wasn’t the time to be thinking about it

Wayne’s expression turned grim. “Where are we headed?”

“The Corroded Coffin.”

Steve made one more phone call before they arrived at the theater. He agonized over the idea for a few short minutes, but ultimately decided they needed all the help and firepower they could get.

He didn’t exactly trust Nancy, not after she spied on him and who knows what else, but there just weren’t that many people he knew who could go up against the monsters and win. He also knew that as much as she liked to pretend she was in this business for the money, it meant more to her than that. Nancy liked knowing she was helping people, saving people, something she hadn’t been able to do for her childhood friend.

Once he had explained what was going on, and what the city stood to lose if Eddie fell, she was fully on board, contract be damned.

Nancy had a room in the city, so she arrived at the same time he and Wayne did, and the three of them walked in together.

The whole place was fully decked out for Halloween, or more specifically for Mischief Night, or Devil’s Night as it said in dripping letters on the marquee. Even the venue’s sign had been changed for the event. A giant blood splattered sheet had been hung over it, emblazoned with the words “Hellfire Club” and a crude devil’s head logo that all looked like it had been painted by hand.

It was meant to look as though the theater had been taken over by a Satanic Cult for the night, but really it was just a show like any other. With themed cocktails, of course. The flyers for the party advertised all sorts of entertainment, from musical acts, to chainsaw jugglers, contortionists, and fire-eaters. The grand finale was to be a ritual “sacrifice” to the Devil himself.

They had to fight through a thick crowd just to make it in the doors. Steve couldn’t believe how busy it was. Only a few nights ago people had been running out of here screaming after the giant cobra had eaten its trainer. Now it was as if it never happened. Was good entertainment really that hard to come by?

Steve led the way as the three of them pushed inside. He wondered briefly if he would have to seek Eddie out, or if Max or someone else would be waiting for him, but as he crossed the threshold he heard Eddie whisper through his mind.

‘Steve?’

Even as nothing more than a disembodied voice in his head, Eddie still managed to make him shiver.

‘I’m here.’

Steve couldn’t help saying the words out loud at the same time he spoke them in his head, pushing them down the long path of their new connection. For a moment he could feel Eddie’s relief brush up against his own before the vampire’s voice sounded again.

’Meet me backstage, use the door we took to get to the snake. Hurry, there's not much time.’

Steve had stopped dead in his tracks, gripping on to Wayne’s arm as he listened, the press of bodies around them threatening to send him off balance. It was his own fault, if he hadn’t ignored these powers for so long he would be used to this kind of stuff by now and it wouldn't be so disorienting.

Wayne seemed to have caught on to what was happening but Nancy was looking at him curiously. Thankfully, she didn’t ask, just kept her head down and followed the two men as Steve pulled Wayne along behind him.

He had so many questions, but for once he didn’t stop to argue with the vampire or second guess him. If Eddie said hurry, Steve would hurry. He had no doubt he would find out what was going on soon enough.

There were two men standing on either side of the door that would lead them backstage. It took a moment for Steve to realize he recognized them, a pair of the werewolves that had fought side-by-side with him against the snake only a few nights ago. He waited for their snarls, sure that they and everyone here who called Eddie master would know what he had done, but the wolves only gave small nods of recognition and moved aside so that he and his guests could pass by.

Steve took a moment to gather himself before pushing the door open.

Eddie was in there.

Steve could feel him just on the other side, the vampire's power calling to his own, pulsing like a beacon in the dark. He took a deep breath, and prepared to face him.

The wings were filled with vampires and wereanimals, all dressed for the occasion and whatever acts they were set to be a part of tonight. Steve recognized most of them. Jeff, Argyle, and Dustin of course. The rats were all there too, Gareth and Will, his brother and their mom, Joyce, with her first aid kit once again slung over her shoulder, Grant and a few others whose name’s he didn’t know.

There was the dark skinned brother and sister pair who were once again hanging out near Max. When last he met them Steve could’t place what they were, could only feel their otherworldly energy but now he knew instantly that they were werewolves too. His power could now recognize them and their tie to Eddie.

In fact, he could feel the way they were all tied to him, could feel their loyalty to Eddie like an invisible brand and by extension to Steve as well.

If he concentrated, he could sense their people in his mind, could shuffle through them like a deck of cards.

For the wolves, he felt the steady beat of each of their pulses as though his fingers were pressed to their skin. Little flickering flames that represented the lives of each vampire who owed allegiance to them.

The rats were different, he couldn't feel them in that way, as they had no mystical bond with Eddie but they were allies, maybe even friends. That much he could discern.

It was all too much, and Steve slammed his shields harder into place. He didn’t deserve to hold these people's lives in his hands like that. He didn’t deserve to feel connected to them this way. He certainly didn’t deserve to think of himself and Eddie as if they were one, not now.

When he was no longer overwhelmed by his new abilities, Steve’s eyes found Eddie right away, and as usual the sight took his breath away.

Tonight Eddie was not just the owner of the theater, but the star of the show. The leader of the Hellfire Club turned satanic cult. He was dressed for the role, looking every bit the 80’s metalhead persona that he was trying to embody. He wore his hair down and a little more wild than he usually kept it. His black jeans were tight and ripped at the knee giving a peak of pale skin as he moved. He wore a black and white raglan shirt with the same artwork that could be seen outside printed on the front of it. A black leather jacket and an old school battle vest had been thrown over the whole thing to complete the ensemble.

It should have looked ridiculous, and on anyone else it might have, but Eddie made it work somehow. Steve hadn’t even known he was into the bad boy look, but as he stared at the vampire he felt as if he had stepped into another one of his wet dreams.

If only.

Eddie was looking back at him with just as much intensity, though his expression was unreadable. For the first time Steve wished he could feel what the vampire was feeling, to know if all of that simmering want had truly turned to hatred and disgust. He even found himself following the connection, the thread that he imagined joining the two of them together, but he was met with empty air. Eddie was shielding too, and hard.

They stared at each other unmoving for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than a few blinks when Steve felt a little push on his back.

Wayne.

It made him take an involuntary step forward and he used that momentum to carry him closer until finally he and Eddie were face to face. Steve reached for something, anything to say. He opened his mouth, closed it again. Nothing was right, nothing was enough.

Eddie came to his rescue, again.

“Thank you, Steve, for coming, and for bringing your… friends. I’m afraid we need all the help we can get.”

“What’s happening?” Steve asked.

“Henry and I made a deal, a sort-of compromise. He agreed to battle this out with me face-to-face as long as I agreed to let the fight happen on stage in front of the public as part of the show tonight, so the masses can see what vampires are really like.”

“But, all those people, we can’t put them in danger like that.”

Eddie took Steve gently by the wrist and led him away from the rest of the group all the way past the backdrop curtain. He looked back at Wayne, concerned about leaving him alone with all these powerful strangers but the older man just gave him a nod of encouragement. He’d be fine, even now Nancy was introducing him to Dustin and Steve could see the instant fondness in Wayne's smile.

Steve wasn’t sure where they were going until Eddie opened a door that was all but hidden in the wall. It was a small storage room that mostly seemed to house different color curtains and backdrops and even a few small setpieces. Eddie waved him inside and shut the door behind them, resting his back against it as he finally replied.

“There were very few choices available to me. I raised the same concerns with your former ally and did my best to negotiate on behalf of our human audience. Henry has agreed that the bloodshed will be limited to those who join the fight on the stage.” Eddie spoke softly and Steve realized why he moved them. He didn’t want to be overheard. Something about that fact felt ominous.

Steve kept his voice low as well, aware that almost everyone outside the closet had supernatural hearing. “And you trust that he’ll follow that?”

“He gave his word, and whatever you might believe about vampires we don’t give it lightly. I think he will do what he says. He has also pledged to limit his use of certain powers. He could very likely bring this whole building down around us with a simple thought, but even he agreed that the humans would never blame that on vampires and that wouldn’t exactly help meet his goal.“

“Do we have any hope of winning here? Can we beat him?”

Eddie bowed his head for a moment then looked up at Steve with a sad smile, eyes swimming with something akin to grief as he stepped closer and reached up to tuck a stray hair behind Steve's ear.

“We.” Eddie said, laughing a little bit at himself. “For months I’ve longed to hear you refer to us as a we. I only wish it hadn’t taken such extremes to get there.” Eddie leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “We will do our best, but I fear even that will not be enough.”

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He didn't understand. “Why aren't you mad at me? You should hate me for what I did.”

“I could never hate you, sweetheart. I’ve always understood why you felt the way you did, I just held out hope that one day you’d change your mind. That you might, with time, understand me too and be able to accept me and the way I feel for you.”

Steve froze. “The way you felt about me, you mean? I betrayed you, tried to kill you. Surely that has…changed things.”

Eddie dropped his shields then. Not all the way, he didn’t want to overwhelm Steve, he just wanted him to taste the truth in his words. Steve knew all of that in a split second, just as he knew suddenly and without a doubt that to Eddie, this was real. It always had been. The physical attraction was there, intense and undeniable, but nestled in tightly against it was the warmth and sweetness of love. It was all laid out for him, clear as crystal. Eddie wanted Steve in every way it was possible to want another person. Mind, body, and soul.

He saw himself through Eddie’s eyes, and couldn’t believe anyone could see him like that.

As he withdrew from Steve and pulled his shields back into place, Eddie pressed a hand over his own heart like he could feel all that emotion making its way back home to be locked up tight once more.

“How could I ever feel anything but love for you, my beautiful stubborn boy.”

“Eddie, I…”

There was a knock on the door and Dustin called out from the other side of it. “I”m sorry to interrupt but, they’re here, Eddie. It’s time.” The kid’s voice shook and Steve wondered if he knew how doomed they all were.

Eddie smiled sadly at Steve. “Hold that thought, sweetheart. Whatever it is, you can tell me later, if we survive this.”

He turned to leave and Steve couldn't let that be it. Couldn’t let that be their last moment alone together if this all went south. From one breath to the next Steve let his mental walls turn to rubble and fall to the ground. Gone were the massive barriers that once stood tall between them. He’d left a crack open before, enough to hear Eddie whisper through his mind, to receive whatever Eddie might send his way but now he was wide open. Not only to Eddie but to himself. He finally opened the box, letting out all the things he’d been shoving down deep inside since the first time he laid eyes on the vampire in front of him.

Steve saw the moment it hit Eddie, all of it, how he really felt about him.

The fear was still there.

The fear of what Eddie was. The fear of losing himself to the marks. The fear of his feelings not being real, the fear if they were.

His ever present want for Eddie was there too. The desire he felt for the other man was intense, palpable, like candy on the tongue. Eddie was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, something he couldn't quite believe that he was allowed to touch.

In the middle of it all was a love that had spread like wildflowers, growing and blooming since day one, no matter how hard he fought it.

Steve grabbed Eddie by the arm and spun him back around, surging forward to crash their lips together. He used his grip on the vampire to tug him closer, until the front of their bodies were pressed tightly together. Eddie grabbed on to him too, throwing his arms around Steve's shoulders as the kiss turned desperate. Steve wound a hand into all that dark curly hair and couldn’t believe it was the first time he’d ever let himself do it. A pained sound escaped him as he realized It might also be the last.

Steve didn’t break the kiss until he was out of breath and had no choice but to pull away as a sob forced its way out of his throat. A tear spilled over, escaping his eye to roll down his cheek. Eddie cupped his face on either side and kissed it away.

Eddie rested his forehead against Steve’s. There was so much to say, but they were out of time.

“Promise me something?” Eddie whispered, his breath ghosting over Steve’s lips with the question.

“Anything.”

“If it comes down to it… if I… I need you to build those shields up again. Higher and thicker than ever before. Cut yourself off from me as thouroughly as you can, it’ll be your best chance and I… I can’t stand the thought of you feeling me die or of pulling you down with me.”

Steve let out another sob that shook his entire body. He didn’t want this. He wanted to argue, he wanted to rage, he wanted to scream that no, he would be there to the very end. He would not abandon Eddie to be alone in his final moments on this earth.

But Eddie had asked him to promise, this is what he wanted, and Steve had said anything. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak as more tears streamed down his face. Eddie kissed them all away as if he could drink down the very sorrow that caused them and eliminate it.

It was time to open the curtain, and everyone took their places.

There were two raised platforms on either side of the stage facing each other, with a large open space in between interrupted only by the sacrificial stone altar which sat dead in the center of everything.

Eddie took to the platform on their side, Henry on the other, both alone on their daises with their respective armies on the stage below.

At first glance it would seem as though Henry were severely outnumbered. He had only Owens, Jane, and Angela on his side, along with her band of teenage vampires. Four of them total, the two boys Steve and Wayne had faced on the road and another girl with dark hair that he hadn’t seen before, a contrast to Angela’s bleach blonde.

Perhaps the strangest thing though was the fact that they were all in costume. It was nearly Halloween and they were supposed to be putting on a show so Steve supposed it made some sense.

Henry himself was dressed as a southern pastor. His white dress shirt and its high collar were paired with a black jacket, pants, and wide brimmed hat. The visual was striking though of course he carried no bible and wore no cross or rosary. It was the perfect antithesis to Eddie’s Devil worshiper persona.

Owens was made up as Frankenstein’s monster and Jane had gone meta in a very classic and childlike witch’s costume. All of the vampires were all done up in 50’s poodle skirts and greaser jackets, with high ponytails, and slicked back hair respectively.

Eddie’s side of the stage, their side, was comparatively packed.

Steve, Wayne, and Nancy had all suited up in various bits of leather, denim, and metal with as many weapons as each could carry strapped to their bodies. They were dressed as what they were, vampire hunters. Dustin, Jeff, and a few others wore the same Hellfire Club shirts as Eddie, playing the parts of fellow members of the cult. The rest of the home team looked a little like circus performers, lots of spandex and glitter, whatever they had put on for the acts they’d been planning to perform before the show had turned into a war.

Eddie raised a microphone to his lips and with nothing but a subtle clearing of his throat managed to silence the crowd.

As hundreds waited with bated breath, he sent his power through the throngs of spectators, and Steve was along for the ride. He felt Eddie’s influence even as he was unaffected by it. He projected calm into the audience with the suggestion for everyone to remain in their seats no matter what they might see or hear tonight. It was all just a show, after all. It wasn’t done with words, it was a feeling, a planted instinct. Most people wouldn’t even know it was happening but they would follow the subconscious hint to the tee.

“Welcome to Hellfire!” Eddie raised his arm high above his head as he belted the words out.

The crowd went wild. Applause, shouts, and whistles could be heard all around the theater, with many of the patrons even screaming Eddie’s name.

He hushed the crowd and again they complied almost instantly. “You have all come here for a party this evening, for a show unlike any other and I'm sorry to say that our plans for you have changed.”

There were a few grumbles of disappointment, but not much. Apparently the audience trusted that Eddie knew what he was doing, maybe even thought that this was all planned.

“Fear not my friends because tonight you will see something even more entertaining, more dangerous and terrifying than any act of fire or blades. Tonight you will bear witness to a battle for your very lives and for the soul of this city that we all call home.”

He paused again, seeming to bask in the applause that rolled over him from the adoring masses. Steve knew better. He was still wide open to Eddie, and Eddie to him, and he could feel the fear, panic, and dread that threatened to overwhelm him even as he put on this act for everyone else. Eddie looked down from his place on the platform and caught Steve's eye. They exchanged no words, no whispers in the mind, it would hurt too much. But it was there plainly in Eddie's eyes.

Hopelessness.

He looked away from Steve and back out into the crowd as he finished his speech.

“On this, our beloved Devil’s night, the monsters of this city will fight to the death to retain control of it. If we win, then life as you know it will carry on as peaceful as before. If our enemies win, there will be chaos and bloodshed in the streets. They will feed on every innocent human in this city until they are drained dry and lifeless.”

Thunderous applause spread through the theater again. Steve couldn't believe people were buying this, couldn’t they feel the tension on stage?

A second microphone appeared. This one in Henry’s hands as he took his own turn to address the audience. “Tonight, humans, you will learn a valuable lesson. Vampires cannot be tamed, and the monsters are not your friends. It was foolish to think that you could live next to us in peace without consequences. We are dangerous, we are killers, and we will destroy all of you if you let us in. By the end of the night I believe you will all wish to return to the days where creatures like us were hunted, forced to hide in the dark. Please believe me when I say, I am doing all of this for your own good. You will all die someday, would it not be better for your deaths to mean something? To contribute to a better life for future generations?”

The applause was a little more scattered this time, some folks were confused on how to react to the strangers words. Steve turned away, he couldn’t worry about the crowd anymore, didn't want to watch himself fail through the audience's eyes or see their reactions to the very real carnage that was about to happen.

Nothing after the speeches had been planned. It was a battle like any other. Wild and violent.

And they were losing.

In the beginning Steve had run around like a madman, trying to keep his eye on everyone he cared about most all at once, but it was impossible to keep them all in his sights. He was unsurprised to see that Wayne had taken up a post next to Dustin. The kid was a vampire, but an inexperienced fighter. Between the two of them though, with Dustin’s power and Wayne’s skill, Steve had to let it go, and trust that they could keep each other alive.

He lost track of Nancy next, she was taking on Jake and Chad at the same time and had just managed what Steve hoped was a killing blow on one of them when the other female vampire, the one with the dark hair, tackled her and the two disappeared having rolled past the many other one-on-one and two-on-one fights that were happening all across the space.

Steve himself had taken a special interest in Angela. Apart from Henry, she was the most dangerous thing on the stage and therefore his number one target. Jane might have given her a run for her money given the chance, but the young girl was still playing at being on Henry’s side for now.

She was going easy on them though, Steve could tell. He watched her just long enough to make sure she wouldn't hurt any of his people and realized that she wasn’t attacking anyone so much as defending herself when one of the wolves or rats got too close. He had thought about warning Eddie and the others that the witch was on their side but he was afraid of blowing her cover too soon.

Steve managed to hold his own against Angela far better than he had the last time, no doubt having the third mark to thank for that, but somewhere along the line he got distracted by a slashing pain in his chest. He looked down expecting to see himself sliced up and bloody, but he was fine, and Angela wasn’t even holding a blade.

He looked up at Eddie’s platform just in time for it to happen again. The front of Eddie’s shirt had been sliced open, revealing the wounds underneath. This time Steve saw as well as felt it when whatever power that was cutting him like an invisible knife split his skin open again, sending blood spurting from his chest.

Confused, Steve looked to Henry and found him focused on Eddie with a hand thrown out in front of him, curled like a claw. The air between them shimmered with power, like heat coming off a raging fire. Steve was working on nothing but gut instinct as he raised his own hand in a mirror of Henry’s and directed every inch of hate he had at the other man. He mimicked Henry’s own motions, copied his use of power and felt a surge of triumph when he saw red blossom across the ancient vampire's chest.

He hadn’t known he could do that.

His victory was short lived as a second later he found himself falling to the ground with Angela on top of him. She stared down as she held him in place. He struggled in her hold but as strong as he now was, still she was stronger. He didn’t understand what was happening at first, she wasn’t trying to hurt him, just keep him there. Then her eyes burned with hazel fire. He looked into them defiantly, he was three marks in and very confident that she couldn’t roll him anymore, but that wasn’t what she was trying to do. The two points of light grew larger and moved closer to Steve’s face though Angela herself hadn’t moved.

He suddenly remembered the car, all those months ago when similar lights appeared in the color of Eddie’s eyes and had moved towards him in much the same way.

No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening.

No matter how hard Steve twisted and bucked and screamed in her face, he couldn’t get away from the blonde menace above him.

When her second mark hit him, Steve knew he was in deep shit. He felt his connection to Eddie dull, like the volume had been turned down, and he had the desperate urge to check on him. He resisted, because he knew it would be stupid to look away from the threat currently pinning him to the floor.

Because Angela wasn’t done with him. It sounded silly in retrospect but he’d almost expected her to let him go when the second mark was done. Before he could even react she had swooped down and sunk fangs into the side of his neck.

Steve had been unconscious when Eddie gave him the third mark, yet somehow he knew that was exactly what Angela was doing to him now. She drank but she didn’t take from him. It was an exchange. As she sipped his blood it was replaced in turn by her power and his body vibrated with it.

For a second he could feel both vampires in his head equally. If he had thought it was disorienting before, when he only held one other presence in his mind, this was a million times worse. He had no sense of himself, or where he was in relation to the world. For a terrifying moment he couldn’t feel his physical body at all.

When Steve came back to himself, Eddie was screaming his name. He opened his mouth to reply, to scream back, but suddenly he had a mouthful of bloody fingers. Somewhere in all this Angela had managed to bleed herself and she was force feeding it to him now.

A few drops and that was all it took. The fourth mark clicked into place and Eddie was lost to him for good. In his place was the twisted mind of a girl who had died young and yet had also lived for far too long.

Finally she let Steve go, believing that with the fourth mark he was now hers. With them bound together for eternity she was confident that he would fall in line. Steve worked to control his thoughts, his feelings, at the same time he started to rebuild his walls piece by piece.

Angela stood and offered him a hand up. He accepted it and even thanked her. He would have to be nicer to her now that they were tied. He would never grovel and apologize and he could feel that she didn't want him to. She liked that he had his pride, but he would have to prove himself to her somehow.

Now that Steve was on his feet he could see that Eddie had been brought down from his place on his platform and was being laid out across the stone table in the center of the stage. He was covered in blood and didn’t fight back. He was barely alive, and though Henry and Owens stood over him on either side, they didn't even bother to hold him down.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked Angela, though the answer was obvious.

“You will stake Eddie through the heart of course! To show the world how well Henry can control something that once belonged to him.”

“What?”

“Henry thinks he can control you through controlling me.”

Steve could feel how angry she was at the idea. She hated that Henry was stronger than her, more powerful. She'd gotten his far, and for what? Still living under the thumb of a man. She didn't want to be his ally and was only with him because she was afraid of him.

It gave Steve an idea that he was careful not to think all the way through. Angela smiled at him brightly, reading his plan in his thoughts, and the two of them walked to the table together.

“Steve.” Henry greeted him warmly. “Don’t worry, you are already forgiven for your cold feet. It’s understandable. I have to say, it is lovely to see you accepting your new place with us so readily. Come, I have one more task for you.” Henry held out a stake, intricately carved out of hardwood with vines and roses etched all over it, and handed it to Steve.

“You have gotten what you wanted. Angela has freed you from your old master. Now, all that is left to do is finish him off so that we can return the world to the way that it was meant to be.”

Steve gripped the stake tightly in his fist as he moved to the other side of the table, placing himself next to Owens so he could look Eddie in the eye one last time. The vampire’s once beautiful face was badly battered and bruised, but still he smiled when Steve’s face came into view.

Steve’s own expression was impassive, his mind carefully blank save for one thought.

He raised the stake high above his head and brought it down hard, angling it at the last second to send it not into Eddie’s chest, but Owens’.

Steve’s aim was true and the point of the stake sank home. Owens toppled backwards and Steve rode to the floor with him, pushing the wood in further and twisting, not letting up until the only thing coming out of the man's mouth were gurgles of blood.

He left the stake in place and drew one of the long knives that had been strapped to his back. He rounded on Henry ready for a fight, but he found it wasn’t necessary.

Henry was staring at Owens, watching as he died on the floor and was clearly struggling, likely using all of his power to try and keep himself from going down with his servant. Steve had used the same tactic with Billy. Killing Heather had made her master easier to take down. But Henry was far more powerful than Billy could have ever dreamed of being.

Luckily Jane was there using her own magic to hold the ancient vampire in place and dampen his abilities. Angela joined her, using her physical strength to drive Henry to his knees as Steve approached. He thought only of killing Henry as he shoved the blade through the blonde man’s chest. He pulled the knife out only to shove it back in swiftly again at a different angle, to make sure that the heart was completely destroyed.

“You did it!” Angela squealed. “I knew you could do it! Together we will be unstoppable!”

Steve smiled at her and thought of what he would have to do to make sure Henry stayed dead, removing his head, burning his body and maybe even scattering the ashes. He imagined all of that as he locked eyes with Jane, praying she would understand what he was about to do and help the others when it was done.

He removed the knife from Henry’s chest one more time, but instead of slamming it back in, he kicked the man’s weakened form out of the way and stuck it between Angela's ribs all in one fluid motion.

He felt searing pain in his own chest as the blade sliced through her heart, but he didn’t let up, he didn’t stop. He stabbed her over and over until he could no longer feel the handle in his hand over the screaming agony in his body. The mental walls he had been trying to rebuild without Angela’s notice were woefully inadequate to shield him from this.

He remembered his promise to Eddie and tried to keep rebuilding them. Eddie had thought that if Steve shielded hard enough he might survive. But that had been with three marks, not four. Still, he tried. He didn’t want to die, but if that was the price he had to pay to protect those he loved, he would do it gladly.

Steve opened his eyes, unaware that he’d even closed them and found that he was lying on the ground writhing in paint next to Angela's prone body.

He looked around wildly trying to find Eddie. He had to tell him before he died. He had to tell him so many things. That he was sorry, he was so sorry. Had he ever really apologized? He couldn’t remember, everything was getting fuzzy around him, blurry.

Something landed hard close to him. Steve tried to turn his head and look, it was a struggle but he managed and was so grateful when he did because it was him.

It was Eddie.

He’d rolled himself off the stone table trying to get to Steve and was even now crawling closer.

“Steve!” Eddie’s voice was weak and it broke on the single word.

Steve wished they could still whisper through each other's minds, so he could tell him…

“... ’m sorry.” Steve choked out.

He could feel himself fading fast. He was so cold.

“Don’t.” Eddie said, coughing up blood in the process.

“I…” Steve tried to force the words but they wouldn’t come.

He felt a hand on his forehead, and another come to rest on his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to care who it was. Wouldn’t dream of looking away from Eddie at this moment.

It was growing all dark around him but there was a warmth growing in his chest that was soothing and pleasant. He realized that at some point the pain had stopped too.

He felt like he was floating.

Steve’s eyes fell closed, he wasn’t strong enough to keep them open any more.

There was a lot of shouting. He couldn’t understand a word but he hoped everyone else was okay.

The last thing he felt before he passed out was a cool hand sliding into his, fingers entwined.

Chapter 17 (final)

Thanks forever to @penny00dreadful for being the best friend, cheerleader, and beta in the whole fucking world💜

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