#it takes lots of practice to play actively and feel OKAY playing actively most of all

[lovelyjj]

I feel like no matter what hobby/extracurricular activity JJ’s girlfriend was involved in, he’d be supportive. She’s on the school basketball team? He comes to every game and cheers her on. She paints? He gets one of her paintings framed and hangs it on his bedroom wall. She does karate and competes in local tournaments? He brags about her to his friends whether she wins or not. She’s acting in a school play? He’s in the front row on opening night and gives her flowers after the show. 

JJ was probably the most supportive person in your life. He was your number one fan. He always showed up for you no matter what it was, he was there. Having a boyfriend that supported you through even the worst days was amazing. He was such a blessing, you thanked god every day that he brought him to you.

And you had a lot of hobbies. For example you loved photography. You were always taking pictures and JJ just so happened to be your muse. You took solo pictures of JJ and pictures together. You took pictures of the view and landscape. JJ framed a few. He was always praising your work. “Wow that one’s a beauty baby,” JJ would say.

And you would love to dance. You’ve been a dancer ever since you were little. JJ loved to watch you in your element. He say front row at every dance competition. He cheered for you the loudest, “Yeah Y/N!” And when you’re on your way home wether you win or loose he always says, “You’re the best dancer i’ve ever seen, you won in my book.”

Another activity you would love to do is reading. You loved getting lost in a book. You loved fantasy and romance and everything under the sun. JJ would ask you to read to him and then fall asleep on your chest. He would also read to you because you would ask. You loved his voice it made you feel all warm inside.

Then you wanted to take up volleyball. You got yourself on a women’s team. It was really fun. JJ came and sat front row at every game and cheered the loudest for you. He even help you practice by tossing you the ball and helping you serve.

Yeah JJ was your biggest fan and number one supporter. He would do anything for you. You were his everything. You enjoyed your hobbies but doing your hobbies with the support of JJ made it even better. He had your heart and you were okay with him keeping it.

[heybiji]

In reference to the last ask you posted! Do you mind going over your tips on role-playing as that active-type character and/or digging up the thread of conversation it seems the original asker was referring to? I'm so interested in your experience role-playing for both prep in possibly joining a game someday and also bc it sounds like such good character creation and general writing advice!!!! I tried checking you blog but didnt turn up anything that touched pn it more (No worries if not though!)

Sorry for this late response!

My advice is make characters that create opportunities for story.

Reacting to a story is fun! Reacting to a character is fun! But if you're always reacting then you're creating opportunity for other characters to react, so sometimes you gotta Act to let the other characters and the story React.

To do this, characters should all want something. And not something vague (like "to be happy"), it should be something more tangible, more specific, and everything else can stem from there. It'll guide your character naturally. It's their Motivation.

More under the cut (or skip to the end for more standard advice)

For example, my dnd character Dandelion wanted more than anything to go home. "Going home" meant a lot of things, yeah it means being happy, it means he wants to be with his family, it means he wants to be loved, it means he wants to feel safe, it means he wants to belong somewhere, but the tangible idea is "go home."

Because I knew this is what he wanted most of all it guided all his actions, and his actions for better or for worse all made sense because of it (and I made it clear that was what he wanted "on-screen" on multiple occasions). So anything that involved the idea of getting home would activate him, and he'd also deeply empathize with anyone and anything else away from home/away from family. Giving him one strong, clear motivation instantly made him an active participant in the story. This made him active with other characters too, any mention of home, any mention of family, any idea of not belonging, it drew him toward them.

(as a DM now this is also what I need more than anything, what's your hook? how can I tempt you? how can I make your character move forward? how can I make your character react? also characters that create opportunity for story take a LOT of work off the DM's shoulders in my experience, it shows you're engaged and it feels less like dragging a cat around on a leash haha like "are you enjoying this? do you want this? i don't know! please give me something!")

my more standard advice?

Be a good listener

Be present (in the moment)

Be curious

Be the biggest fan of all the characters

Put your story on-screen frequently, give people the opportunity to react to it and join in on it (this can be as simple as "my character's body language changes at the mention of 'home')

Create opportunities for the other characters to have their story on-screen (ask them questions! if you know what the character's buttons are and it makes sense in the moment, press them! listen to what they're saying, pay attention to what they're doing, and react to it)

Interact with the world! Interact with each other! And make these things mean something to your character!

Your character should make mistakes. Mistakes create opportunity for everyone.

If there's a genre, or theme, play toward them earnestly.

The more you RP, the better you'll get at it! It's a process and that's okay!

my little tip for knowing whether your character is Active vs Reactive: if the story were a musical, do they have an I Want song? do they have multiple moments for songs within the narrative? have they shared a duet with another character? do their songs change, evolve? songs happen for important moments in a musical so if you're not contributing to important moments, it may mean you're reacting more than you're acting. which is fine if you're playing a game solo and are granted access to the narrative by virtue of being the designated main character, but because RPing is collaborative storytelling, everyone should be doing their part!

[flemingsfreckles]

Don’t Be Sad

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Preview: based off of this request. You take your kids to watch their mom play in the gold cup semifinal.

Warnings: upset Jessie, not really angst though

WC: 4.8k

A/N: okay, so the timeline here is all kinds of messed up in terms of how old Jessie is, the fic revolves around the US/CAN game but she obviously doesn’t have kids already so just go with it. It’s called fiction for a reason. This is also my first attempt at writing based off a request/an idea that my brain didn’t come up with.

“James, slow down please.” You hollered at your oldest child as he ran a couple of feet ahead of you. You watched as he stopped immediately in his tracks as if he had been frozen in place. The brown curls on his head bouncing slightly. Once you catch up to him you extend your hand out for him to hold.

“You have to be careful, you can’t be running ahead, there’s a lot of other people here.” You often took your kids to watch Jessie’s games, but most of the time they were not this busy. The stress of temporarily having to operate as a single mom with an almost 3 year old and 1 year old was building on you. Your wife would not be thrilled to learn you let one kid run off 20 minutes after arriving at the stadium.

“Sorry, just want to see Mama.” He said, reaching up to grab onto your hand.

“I know kiddo, we’re going to see Mama, but after her game remember, we can’t go talk with her before. Remember what I told you in the car?”

“Mama’s at work and is warm.” He tried his best to remember what you had told him about how Jessie wouldn’t be able to talk to you before the game. You had explained that she would have to warm up and be focused and ready for the game. Trying to explain that the field was her work and she wasn’t allowed to just come hang out.

“Mama!” Your one year old daughter, Nora, squealed, waving her hands in the air. You were holding her on your hip, not wanting her to get trampled in the busy stadium, also not fully trusting her minimal walking skills. She had recently started taking a few steps alone, and while holding the hand of you or Jessie, she could walk for a bit. A crowd of people was not the time to practice walking.

“Yes baby, Mama’s at work. We can see her after the game.”

Gripping your son’s hand tightly you continued to make your way to the friends and family box that the Canadian Team had set up for the Gold Cup Match. You didn’t love being in the box, it made you feel far away from the game. You liked being up close being able to see your wife playing just a couple meters away. Not being able to complain too much though, it was so much easier with the kids to be in the box, they were free to roam safely and could occupy themselves with other activities if they were too restless to sit and watch Jessie play. It was also nice on afternoons like tonight where the weather was brutal, you were able to stay nice and dry.

You checked into the box, grabbing some juice boxes for each of your kids. You looked around, you had gotten to the stadium pretty early, meaning the box only had a few other people in it already. You moved to the corner with a small table, setting down Nora, and pulling out a chair for James to sit as well. You rummage through your bag, pulling out some toy dinosaurs and cars for James and a stuffed moose than Jessie had gotten for your daughter before she left for the World Cup. Nora insisted it went everywhere she went so you had to bring it with. Placing their juice on the table as well you stood up, looking over the field. You spotted your wife, doing some dribbling in a space all by herself. Not being able to help yourself, you watch her for a second before you feel a hand on the back of your shoulder and a voice calling to you.

“There’s our favorite daughter-in-law!” Jessie’s parents had arrived, her mom standing behind you, arms out for a hug.

“I’m your only daughter-in-law.” You remind her as you move into her arms. Jessie’s father, already kneeling down to talk with your children, opts to give you a wave, you reply with a wave and a quick hello before he goes back to playing with a dinosaur.

“How are you? How are the kids? I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever. What has it been 6-7 months?” She asked.

“Something like that.” The last time you had seen the Flemings was when they had come to visit after the World Cup. “The kids, they’re good. They’ve definitely been keeping me on my toes these days especially while Jess has been away for this tournament. They still haven’t grasped the concept that this is Jessie’s work though. James kept asking when he could see her, it’s just hard to explain at that age, they think she’s just playing like they do in the yard.”

“Yeah I can imagine they don’t quite get it,” Jessie’s mom trailed off turning to watch her husband with his grandchildren. You both stand for a minute watching Jessie’s dad who now had your daughter in his lap, still holding a dinosaur in one hand, play with your kids. “Gosh they both look so much like Jess when she was that age.”

Your children were practically spitting images of your wife. They were, after all, biologically her babies. You and Jessie had decided to do reciprocal ivf after careful consideration. Together you had chosen that you would be the one that would carry them, not wanting to take Jessie away from her career and love for football, meaning the kids would be genetically related to Jessie while you carried them for 9 months, letting you both be a part of their creation. Who could say no to the idea of little versions of Jessie running around, not you.

Both having her brown hair, James' hair had started to show the soft waves that resembled Jessie’s. They both had big brown eyes, which they used to get their way with you. It was hard to say no to them when looking into their eyes reminded you of the woman you were so infatuated and in love with.

The resemblance was obvious at birth with their beautiful eyes looking up at you and Jessie as you held them for the first time. The first time you really recognized how much they all looked alike was one afternoon when you got home from work, you walked into an empty house calling for Jessie and getting no response. It was then that you had heard giggling and joyful screaming coming from the backyard. You walked out to watch as Jessie chased James around the yard, following him with the garden hose as Nora sat on her hip. It seemed they had been playing in the sprinkler all afternoon, all 3 of them soaked. You stood on the deck and watched, just admiring your family for a second before Jessie caught a glimpse of you. She dropped the hose to come say hello and proceeded to hug you, soaking your clothes in the process. Your kids followed and you saw all three of them with the freckles that covered their pink rosy cheeks, just another trait they had gotten from their mother.

The game started shortly after, you had taken a seat on a bench with Jessie’s dad, your son seated between the two of you and your daughter crawling across your lap. You weren’t always the most relaxed watching your wife play. Watching her play was so fascinating and you loved watching your wife play the game she loved so much, but it stressed you out. She always joked to you that you were more nervous than her and all you had to do was watch. Today you were extra anxious. Not only was this a knockout game, but the pitch conditions were horrendous. Everytime Jessie would go for a ball you were just hoping she didn’t slip and end up injured. The US took the lead 20 minutes in, only adding to your anxieties. Halftime came and went, Canada still down. It wasn’t until only 10 minutes were remaining that Canada tied it. You had jumped up and shouted in response to the goal, watching Jessie jump on top of Jordyn in her celebration. You watched as full time played out, ending in a tie. You stood up excusing yourself to use the restroom, leaving James and Nora with their grandparents.

Extra time began just as you returned to the box, you made your way to the table in the back of the room to grab a water bottle and turned back to face the pitch. The sight in front of you warms your heart. It even takes away the stress of the game for just a moment. There were your two children, Nora sitting on Jessie’s mom’s hip, you watched as she babbled at her grandmother, only a couple of the sounds coming out being actual words, but Jessie’s mom was responding as if she was having a complete conversation. James was sitting on his grandfather's shoulders, watching and listening closely as his grandpa pointed and tried to explain the game to him. You and Jessie, mainly Jessie, had tried to teach him but that’s hard to do with a just under three year olds attention span. All he wanted to do was roll the ball around with his hands. You had joked that he’d grow up to be a keeper.

What really tugged at your heartstrings was the assortment of jerseys that all had on, a mix of new and old and a mix of home and away. Your wife’s family name on all of them, which was now your last name too, displayed proudly across the back, her number sitting just below. You felt so lucky, you felt lucky everyday with Jessie, but even in a moment when she is caught up elsewhere, you feel her love and everything she had brought you in this life. Two beautiful children, an amazing set of in-laws, the chance to experience things you could’ve never imagined. Thinking about how adorable it was you grabbed your phone and snapped a photo to show Jessie later.

The anxieties came back as you returned to your seat on the bench. You couldn’t help but notice how relaxed Jessie parents seemed watching their daughter play, maybe it just came with decades of experience that you didn’t quite have yet.

You watched as overtime continued. Feeling upset when the US scored again, only to feel ecstatic when Canada tied it up. Before you knew it, overtime had expired and the game was moving on to penalties.

You watched as the US player made her penalty, followed by a miss by Canada. A goal and another miss had happened for the Canadian side before your wife took the ball and headed to the penalty spot. The US having scored three of their four penalties taken meant if Jessie missed, the game was over, but if she made it they would keep kicking.

Watching Jessie, or any player, take penalties was one of your least favorite parts of football. You always felt bad if a player missed but then you also felt bad for the keeper if it went it. Jessie had laughed when you told her, claiming you just weren’t competitive enough, when it’s your team on the line you don’t feel sorry for the other side. You had told her that your competitiveness only applied to her and whatever team she played for, other than that you were more of a ‘hoe everyone has fun’ type person. You asked Jessie about how it’s such immense pressure being put on just one person on each team and how it feels to be in that spot. Penalties usually didn’t bother your wife, everyone knew it, she had been a penalty kicking machine most of her career. The pressure on her shoulders everytime she steps up, being expected to make it every time, no questions asked, is not something you ever wanted to feel.

You watched her line herself up, placing the ball. Seeing this routine done more times than you could count you had memorized her behaviors. You knew each of her steps before taking it, asking one day in the backyard to explain it to you as she was practicing. Your hands came to rest on your knees that were anxiously bouncing.

She stepped back, took a deep breath and started toward the ball. And then it was dark.

You had shut your eyes, not intentionally, it just happened. You didn’t see the kick, you only realized that it must not have gone in when the crowd erupted in cheers. You slowly opened one eye, peeking as if it’ll change what had just happened. First you see the US team running, dog piling on top of one another. Second seeing Jessie, her head hung, walking toward the bench, shaking her head, brushing off the teammates attempting to console her. Feeling your heart sink for her, knowing just how upset she must be.

“Mom why are they hurting each other?” Your son tugged your hand. He pointed at the pile of US players on the field.

“They’re not hurting each other, they’re celebrating kiddo, they won.”

“But Mama supposed to win.” His eyebrows pinched together, confused looking up at you.

“Well honey that’s not how it always goes, do you remember watching the World Cup?” You hadn’t actually let them watch the games live due to the timing of them but you had put them on during the day letting them watch their mom play. “Mama’s team didn’t always win, right? That’s what happens sometimes. And sometimes that makes her sad. She might be a little sad when we go to talk to her, okay?” He just nodded back at you.

As the stadium cleared out, you and Jessie’s parents, each of them holding one of your kids hands, headed down to the base of the pitch. Jessie was making her rounds, thanking the Canadian fans for coming, signing autographs and taking photos. You loved how even after a tough game she made time for those who came to watch her play. You watched as she continued to make her way headed toward you, not seeing you yet.

“Mama!” James shouted pointing at Jessie. “Mama, hi!” His hand waved in her direction. Hearing her son's voice, Jessie’s head snapped to the side with a smile on her face as she saw her family, you, her kids, her parents all standing together waiting for her. Giving a quick wave to James she turned her attention to the young fan in front of her. She finishes greeting and chatting with the few fans between you and her. As she wanders over, her eyes meet yours for a second and while she isn’t currently crying, you can see she must’ve been at some point. Her face has small tear streaks and eyes are a little red.

“Hi Mama, don’t be sad.” Your son says, making grabbing motions with his hands at Jessie.

“Hi buddy, I’m just a little sad right now, but I’ll be okay. I’m happy that I’m getting to see you and Nora.” She reaches over the wall, grabbing James and pulling him up and over, into her arms. She hugs him tightly and then puts him down at her feet.

“Mama, it's grandma and grandpa.” Your son points, as if Jessie hadn’t seen her own parents in front of her.

“Hi Mom, hi Dad.” She acknowledges them with a quick wave, knowing she’ll be able to fully catch up with them later tonight.

“Hi love.” She turns her attention to you.

“Hi,” moving toward her you reach over the wall giving her a quick peck on the cheek quietly talking in her ear . “I’m so proud of you, even if you don’t want to hear that right now. I love you.”

You pull back, hearing your daughter start babbling again, the words “Mom” and “Mama” coming out as she looks from you to Jessie. She’s standing both of her arms above her head holding onto her grandpa's hands

“You heard her, give me my baby.” Jessie laughs holding her arms out to take Nora. You bend down to pick her up and pass her into your wife’s extended arms. “Hi cutie,” she bounces her, making soft giggles come from her mouth.

You admired Jessie’s ability to put on a happy face for your kids, you knew she was upset about the loss, the lack of penalty called against her, her missed kick, the pitch conditions, but none of it showed as she held your daughter. She looked as happy as can be, as if she had just won the whole tournament. Even if it was a forced smile, you could tell it was, she still put forth the effort.

“Look at us all matching.” She’s talking to your kids. “Can you take our photo?” Now directing her question to you. She bends down to kneel next to her son, daughter still in her arms. She smiles big and tickles your son, getting him to laugh, his smile big in the photo.

“Oh man, we’re all matching. It looks like we’re going on a family reunion with matching shirts.” You see Jessie standing up looking between you and her parents. Everyone laughs at the realization, sure you knew you were all wearing her jersey but it being pointed out was humorous .

“Okay James I have to go, but I’ll see you later tonight okay?” Your wife is back kneeling down, talking to your son.

“Okay Mama, you did a good job at your work job today.” He tries his best to tell Jessie she played well. She looks at you with a questioning glance.

“I was explaining to him that this is your job, the game is work.”

“Gotcha.” She hands you Nora before lifting James over again. “I just have to do recovery. I think since we’re out we’re released as well so I don’t have to stay at the hotel. I don’t know I’ll find out though.” She quickly informs you.

“Alright babe, just shoot me a text and let me know. We’re just going back to the rental.” Deciding that more space and isolation would be better than a hotel with two small children, you had rented a small house for the week. It had a couple bedrooms and was perfect for letting the kids be free and not cooped up in a hotel.

You give Jessie a quick kiss on the lips, making it short and sweet your wife wasn’t big on PDA anywhere, let alone in front of fans and more importantly her parents. Jessie gave hugs to her Mom and Dad before saying goodbye to them as well.

All five of you headed back to the house, Jessie’s parents deciding to crash in the extra bedroom for the chance to see their daughter more than if they had gone to the hotel they had originally booked. It was only an hour later when the knock at the door told you Jessie had arrived.

Jessie’s dad greeted her at the door. You were occupied feeding Nora in the bedroom, while Jessie’s Mom was watching James while he ate. Through the cracked door you could hear your father in law talking to his daughter. He was telling her how proud of her he always is. You could tell she entered the kitchen as you heard James start talking to Jess. You knew her arrival meant he would be done eating, forgetting food was ever an option, just wanting to hang out with her.

“She’s in the bedroom feeding Nora, third door on the left.” Jessie’s mom was telling her daughter.

It was only seconds later that there was a soft knock on the door and Jessie peaked her head though. Her cheeks are still rosy from the game.

“Can I come in or do you want privacy?” Her concern regarding you being comfortable showing.

“Yeah babe, nothing you haven’t seen before, it just felt a little weird with your Dad there so I figured I’d feed her in here.” Nodding at her to come in. She opened the door to come through, closing it behind her. She moved next to you, placing a kiss on your lips, one on your forehead and grazing a hand across Nora’s head. She smelled of vanilla and coconut, freshly showered, her hair still wet.

“I love you, you’re such a good Mom.” She sits down on the bed next to you. Jessie loved watching you with the kids. She especially loved watching you do the more “mundane” tasks, like you were now, Nora resting in your arms as she fed, a task you had done hundreds of times. It felt incredibly intimate to share these small moments together and Jessie was so grateful that you let her be there.

Deciding this might be the only bit of time you get with Jessie alone, without your son or her parents hearing, you decide to check on her. Jessie isn’t the best about expressing her emotions especially in front of your son, she never wants to appear sad or disappointed. Nora was here but she was occupied and she was not yet at the age of picking up much from conversations that didn’t involve the words Mom, Mama, or milk.

“Are you doing okay?” Looking in her eyes, you see the beautiful brown color looking back at you.

“I’m disappointed.” She pauses before continuing, “it just felt like something we could’ve won.” Her head comes to rest on your shoulder and she lets out a sigh.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. Are you okay besides being just disappointed?” You wanted to make sure the missed penalty wasn’t weighing too heavily on her mental. Jessie knew exactly what you were asking.

“I think so, I chatted quickly with the sports psych while I was stretching about the penalty, I think missing the one earlier got in my head. I don’t feel much at all about it.” Nora decides she’s done feeding, pulling her mouth away and trying to squirm from your hold. “Here let me take her.” Jessie pulls her into her lap, allowing you to clean up and pull your shirt back down.

“It was really nice having you all there after the game.” Her voice was soft as she continued “it just made it hurt a little less getting to see them. They take my mind off the game so quickly.”

“They were both so excited to see you.” You wrap your arm around her waist, pulling her closer to your side. “I was excited to see you too.” Jessie hummed in response, her cheek still resting on your shoulder. You look down in her arms, your youngest was laying, her eyes fluttering as she fought off sleep. Moments later your son is knocking at the door.

“Mama, Mom come on, I want to play and make Mama not sad anymore” You open the door to find your son, a dinosaur in one hand and a small ball in the other. Jessie’s mom quickly following him down the hallway.

“Sorry, we were cleaning up the table from his dinner, we can take play with him if you two need some more time.” She reached out to move James away from the door.

“Oh, no we’re good. Nora’s about to be asleep.” You point back into the room where Jessie is sitting gently rocking your daughter. “We can come play.”

You and Jessie leave the bedroom, coming back to the living room to play with James. Jessie’s dad takes Nora who is sound asleep, claiming he doesn’t get to hold her nearly enough. You both sit on the floor as James hands you plastic animals and begins telling you both about the make believe scenarios he had come up with. You stay on the floor for a while, switching between the make believe world with your son and having regular adult conversations with your wife and in-laws.

Jessie is quiet, not contributing much to the conversation, focusing more on your son. Wishing you could just lift the weight off her shoulders and take away the disappointment she is feeling toward herself, you try your best to steer any conversation away from mentions of the game or football.

James lets out a big yawn as he makes his dinosaur trample a small city he had created.

“Someone’s sleepy.” You tease him.

“No I’m not!” He protests. Looking at you with his brown eyes, silently begging for more time. “Want to keep playing with Mama, it makes her happy.” Jessie shoots you a look, her eyes begging just like his were, mouthing ‘five more minutes’ her hand being held up to emphasize her point.

“Okay, but only a few more minutes bud. You and Mama can play in the morning.”

He seems content with the extra few minutes and the reminder that Jessie would be there in the morning and goes back to playing.

After the few minutes pass by, Jessie starts to clean up the toys, James helping her. You stand up taking Nora from her grandfather’s arms, she’s still fast asleep. You say goodnight to Jessie’s parents and carry your daughter into the office that you had turned into her temporary bedroom. Your kids had separate bedrooms at home and you wanted to keep it as similar as possible. Being able to move around Nora’s crib easily, meant James got the other bedroom in the house. You placed her softly, with a kiss on her forehead and a whisper goodnight. Jessie surprises you by wrapping her arms around your waist.

“She’s so perfect.” Jessie whispers in your ear. “You made two perfect babies.” She adds a kiss to your cheek.

“Technically you made them.” You whisper back to her, still looking at Nora sleeping.

“We both made them, those are our kids.” Humming in agreement, you feel Jessie grab your hand turning to leave the room. You enter James’ room, he had changed into his pajamas while you both were putting Nora down.

“Do you want Mama to tuck you in tonight?” You ask him, wanting to give Jessie the chance as you had tucked him in alone the past few days.

“Both!” He points to both you and Jessie. You each take a side of the bed as he climbs in. You tuck him in, each giving him a kiss and telling him you love him and to not let the bedbugs bite.

Finally back in your bedroom, you and Jessie get ready for bed, each making a trip to the bathroom to brush your teeth, wash your face, change into sleeping shirts and shorts. You come out to Jessie sitting on the edge of the bed, you notice tears on the brims of her eyes.

“Hey, baby what’s wrong.” Rushing in front of her, you kneel down, cupping her face in her hands.

“Nothing, I'm okay.” She blinks hard, clearing the tears that were tempted to spill over.

“Jess, it’s okay if you’re upset, you can be upset in front of me.”

“I know.” There’s a pause and you’re not sure if she’s going to continue or not. You watch as a tear manages to make its way out, rolling down her cheek, you extend your thumb to brush it away. “I just, I feel like I let people down. It’s silly I know, it’s a game, but, I don’t know. I’m just disappointed in myself.”

“It’s not silly Jessie.” Grabbing her hands in yours. “You’re allowed to feel however you want about the game, you’re allowed to feel disappointed. You have to remember you’re just doing your best. Just like everyone else in that game and everyone else in the world, you’re doing the best you can. That’s all you can do.” Not sure if she’s even really listening to your words but wanting to get your point across you continue, “Jess people miss penalties all the time. It’s how it goes, you weren’t the only one to miss tonight. This isn’t all on you. You played so well this whole tournament.” You stand up as your knees started to ache, Jessie was the professional athlete in this family, not you. Deciding to sit on the bed next to her you wrap an arm around her shoulder and lean in.

“I hope you know how proud I am of you.” Hoping she can accept the compliment, she nods at you. The two of you sit in silence on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, just enjoying the quiet after the long day. You’re reminded of something from earlier in the day, reaching for your phone on the bed next to you.

“I know it’s not going to fix how you’re feeling about the game, but look at this.” You slide open your phone, open your photos to show Jessie the image you took of her parents with your kids. “Look at our family.”

She grabbed the phone from your hand, examining the photo. For the first time since the game had ended you saw a genuine smile come across her face.

“That’s our family.”

[helslastangel]

Your most vulnerable areas according to the signs

Disclaimer: These are based on personal observations and may not resonate for everyone with these placements. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly 🪽

Aries - Head, Face, Eyes, Brain, Muscular System

If you have significant Aries placements, you may be prone to migraines and headaches. If you play sports or work a highly active/physical job, be careful not to strain your muscles unnecessarily - learn the correct ways to lift and throw objects and maneuver your body. You're passionate and need lots of stimulation, but take time to rest and enjoy some quiet moment so that your eyes and mind get a break.

Taurus - Neck, Throat, Vocal Cords, Thyroid, Metabolic System

If you have significant Taurus placements, you may be prone to frequent colds, sore throat and earache. If you're a singer or heavily rely on your voice for your work, you'll want to take extra care to not damage your vocal cords, even accidentally. You may find that weight comes easily to you for seemingly no reason - have your thyroid checked regularly for signs of under-activity.

Gemini - Arms, Shoulders, Hands, Lungs, Nerves, Nervous System

If you have significant Gemini placements, you may be prone to coughs, colds, sinus issues and respiratory discomfort in general. Remembering to get enough fresh air and avoiding habits like smoking are probably in your best interest. You can also struggle with anxiety and fatigue from nervous exhaustion. Meditation and yoga can help tremendously in these areas.

Cancer - Chest, Breasts, Stomach, Uterus, Diaphragm, Upper Alimentary System

If you have significant Cancer placements, you may be prone to chest pains and digestive issues. Whether the pain is caused by stress, anxiety, poor breathing, or even having heavier breasts, you'll want to identify the root cause and take steps to resolve it before so it doesn't lead to depression. Therapy, meditation, improving your posture or investing in properly supportive garments can help in this regard.

Leo - Chest, Upper Back, Heart, Spine, Cardiac System

If you have significant Leo placements, you may be prone to heartbeat irregularities and high blood pressure. If there is any lesson you must learn from the king of the jungle, it is how to take time to relax. Be mindful of your energy levels and practice keeping calm even in the most infuriating situations. Eat heart-healthy foods and don't be afraid to walk away from people and places that trigger you to roar.

Virgo - Abdomen, Intestines, Lower Liver, Alimentary Canal, Spleen

If you have significant Virgo placements, you may be prone to weight problems (under or over) and stomach/bowel issues. You carry most of your stress in your midsection and have ongoing issues with your appetite and tolerance for food. Either you don't get enough due to stress and food aversions/complications, or you indulge too much in an attempt to relieve your anxiety. You're highly observant and don't miss too many details, so you're in a good position to listen to your body and find a routine that suits your mood and lifestyle.

Libra - Lower Back, Skin, Kidneys, Bladder, Ovaries, Blood

If you have significant Libra placements, you may deal with sensitive skin and also digestive issues. If you like to eat a lot of rich foods, you may need to cut back. Go easy on your stomach. It's okay to have the things you like but do so in moderation so you don't end up feeling constipated or having other bowel issues. Take a little extra time to moisturize your skin and drink a lot of water.

Scorpio - Genitals, Groin, Colon, Sex Organs, Gall Bladder, Rectum, Urogenital System

If you have significant Scorpio placements, you must absolutely take care of your sexual and hormonal health, otherwise you could experience more issues with your libido than others. Nothing wrong with being celibate or abstinent, but if your reasons are because you simply cannot get in the mood, you should get things checked out. And of course, if you have the opposite situation, stay safe and avoid STDs like the plague. Everyone should, but you can have an especially bad or treatment-resistant reaction.

Sagittarius - Hips, Thighs, Sciatic Nerves, Lower Spine, Liver, Autonomic Nervous System

If you have significant Sagittarius placements, you may be prone to falls And injuries that impair your ability to walk. If you have nerve issues or eyesight problems, you want to especially be careful to avoid accidents. As you may experience worse or consequences than some others. Even if you don't experience any major injury, you may notice that you have an unusual walk/gait, or others may point this out to you. Take care to maintain good posture and avoid reckless behavior/dangerous situations.

Capricorn - Skin, Hair, Knees, Bones, Teeth, Joints, Skeletal System

If you have significant Capricorn placements, You may be prone to broken bones or have already experienced this. You're not necessarily a weak person. Rather, you may have strong enough bones, but are just likely to break them if you're not careful about exerting too much force and not paying enough attention during physical activities. The main advice for you is to simply be careful and look before you leap. Literally. I have Capricorn moon and broke a finger playing volleyball and a toe playing soccer. I know two Capricorn suns who broke their arms from doing parkour. My 5H Capricorn BFF broke their wrist from skateboarding. You've been warned. On the bright side, you likely have strong, distinctive, or good looking teeth, maybe even both.

Aquarius - Lower Legs, Calves, Ankles, Circulatory System, Elimination

If you have significant Aquarius placements, you are either smooth in your movements, or you are clumsy and prone to stumbling and running into things. You may also have issues with the circulation in your legs, or have weaker ankles that don't support you very well when walking or standing still for long periods. This may not be something you can do much about through at-home remedies, but if you experience things like varicose veins or discomfort in your legs, have a doctor refer you to a specialist who can recommend corrective shoes or other treatment options.

Pisces - Feet, Toes, Body Fluids, Lymphatic System

If you have significant Pisces placements, I hate to tell you this, but you Are likely to have a weaker immune system than most. You are prone To worrying, or at least overthinking, quite a bit, which doesn't Help matters in the slightest. On a less serious, but no less irritating note. You may also deal with several food issues, including bunions, plantar fasciitis and fungal infections. All of my Pisces sun friends have complained to me about getting athlete's foot from walking around change rooms without slippers, or being unable to wear shoes they liked because of a bunion. But on the bright side, you folks usually have nice feet. Even the men. And I am not a foot person at ALL, so that's saying something coming from me.

𓆩♡𓆪

↤ go back to the masterlist

[hinakazino]

The Uchiha Princess || Uchiha Family/Child!Reader

Summary: The third born child of the head of the Uchiha Clan, younger sister of Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha. You're the known princess of the Uchiha Clan! (That everyone may or may not have a protective side of.)

Warnings: None! Just Fluff!

mikoto

It was no secret really, Mikoto had really been hoping for a girl! So she was really happy to have you, her little princess.

Literally loves you, gives you the best of care.

Enjoys dressing you up or doing your hair (you look so cute and small in all those mini garments!!)

Honestly worried for awhile how you'd get along with your brothers or the clan, as it was mostly men.

Worries were quickly blown away though, who would dare hurt you?

fugaku

Super nervous dad, he was used to the two boys, yes. But a girl? He was already worrying himself over how things would work.

Secretly you’re his favorite, literally held you so softly like you were the most precious baby ever.

You were his precious girl, and he admits he may have spoiled you a bit more than he should've.

Doesn’t like the idea of boys, nope he isn’t agreeing to ANY arranged marriages!!

He also doesn't like admitting it, although he hopes you become a great strong kunoichi. The idea of sending you, of all people into the battle field frightens even him.

obito

The funny cousin, always comes over with treats just for you.

He just can’t stop poking at your chubby cheeks and practically squealed when he saw your stubby legs as you ran up to him.

Always makes sure to scoop you up and tell you plenty of his awful jokes. You love it anyway though! He loves hearing your giggle.

Enjoys closing his eyes as you trace over his scars in awe.

Heart throbs as you pecked his scarred cheek asking him whether he was okay and that you’d make the pain go away.

Literally the sweetest cousin ever, knows exactly what you like and spoils you whenever he is back from a mission.

shisui

The cousin you tell all your secrets to. (Who may or may not be secretly reporting to Itachi about it.)

Loves carrying you on his back, gives him sweet flashbacks of mini Itachi.

Is super dramatic with you, you both are like each others twins. He loves it whenever Sasuke and Itachi walk in completely bewildered at the play you guys have been acting.

You two are also pranksters, who have lots of fun pulling stuff on Sasuke, Itachi, and occasionally best of all, Obito.

Second most at poking at your cheek besides Obito too, vowed to protected you from evil at all costs.

itachi

Your big brother, who greatly inspires and motivates you. He is such a sweetheart!

He honestly has the same fear as his father because his life as a ninja hasn't been a walk in a rosy garden.

Can't describe it, he just loves you. Every time he is with you, he feels at peace.

Has been there for all of your tantrums, he is basically your comfort.

Knows best out of everyone how to take care of you. You're injured? Distract you with food, something you like, etc, to get rid of the pain as he treats you.

Sobbing cause you can't have something? He'll get it for you-- wait no his parents said no so he'll tell you maybe next time to make you forget.

sasuke

Was the most nervous out of everyone.

But greatly adores you because you look up to him, he feels noticed and appreciated whenever he is around you.

You love Sasuke because he understands you the most as you're both similar in age.

Playtime is always fun, and mainly with him. He always tries to bring new games, not just to entertain you both but also to keep you active. He shows his care in different ways!

When he got older he still made time for you, there was always a reserved soft spot for his little sister.

madara

You're his favorite Uchiha kid, and he isn't afraid to admit it.

He lets you play with his hair, he surprisingly didn't mind it. Honestly he loves your awe with it.

You spent a chunk of your time with him anyways since most of your other family members were busy so it wasn't before long you both developed a strong bond.

Out of everyone he deeply hopes you never experience war in your lifetime. He knows from personal experience, and it warms his heart that you're so innocent.

He teaches you a lot of things, madara knows a lot! From weapons and combat, all the way to gardening and game tactics. He's got to spend a lot of time having fun being the retired Uchiha.

© 2023 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.

[hoursofreading]

In terms of trying to actively promote depth in your life, start putting on your calendar some appointments with yourself to do deep work. Go a couple weeks out and treat those appointments like you would a doctor's appointment or a meeting with an investor. If someone tries to schedule something during that time, you say, "No, I'm busy from one to three, but here's when I'm available." People understand the semantics around the meetings and appointments. They're willing to work around it. You don't have to explain why. Start with a moderate amount, say three or four hours a week. Have it on the calendar. Have it protected. And during those prescheduled times, maintain the zero-tolerance distraction policy. During those times, not a glance at the internet, not a glance at the phone. The second thing is, take some step to start gaining back cognitive fitness. Most people are not willing, for example, to just blanket quit social media; but I would suggest a couple things. One, take social media applications off your phone. I've had a lot of people who say, "I can give you 19 reasons why I have to use social media, why it's so important in my life," and then they do this experiment where they take it off their phone so it becomes 10 percent more difficult to log in to Facebook or Twitter. They stop using it altogether. They realize, "Okay, wait a second. Maybe I was telling all these stories about the key role it plays in my life, and why I always have to be looking at it, but once I added just a slight impediment, I stopped using it altogether." I think it helps sort of reassess the value, but more importantly, you take the addictive aspects out of the service while still maintaining your access to the information or other value that you get out of it. The third thing I would recommend is starting to schedule the time you do novel, distracting, stimulating things. You could schedule lots of times, but it should be scheduled times. Maybe after work, you say, "From 8 to 10, I'm going to break out the laptop and just go nuts, no holds barred. Social media, whatever. But until 8, none of it." Or, "Okay, at work, I'm going to check my email, check on all of this at this time, this time, this time, this time." All the other times in between, even if you feel like you want to do it, you don't. This is all about just practicing that muscle of "I want stimuli, and I said no." Even if you've scheduled 25 blocks during the day when you're going to look at stimuli, that still gives you 25 blocks between those times where you're going to feel like you want to check stimuli and you say no. Every time you do that, that's helping to break the Pavlovian connection. That's usually how I get people started. Get it on the calendar, start cleaning up your cognitive fitness.

Cal Newport on taking your life back from technology - Vox

[delopsia]

What about lewis's characters as cam boys? 🍑

Now, this is a real find 👀alright, it'll be good for the economy Contains: Rhett Abbott, Bob Floyd, Miles Miller, Jordan Weaver, Harrison Knott and Major Major

Rhett is the biggest slut on the site. He's best known for riding his favorite toys in an empty pasture or hurriedly fisting his cock in the front seat of his truck, but he's not above taking requests or playing with sponsored toys in his bedroom. He's the most active out of the bunch, taking advantage of his high sex drive to entertain everybody.

Aaaalways has that damn cowboy hat on; it's very rare to see him without it, and those chaps?? Fan favorite. He's been known to play up the whole cowboy thing, intentionally using Western slang, and he's practically trademarked the concept of riding toys/pretending his fleshlight is someone riding him.

Sometimes, if he's feeling horny and adventurous, he'll even ask his partner to come in and dominate him. Those are always a hell of an experience. You're the one that controls what they see of you, Rhett leaves those reins in your hands in your hands alone. If you want to hide yourself, then that's okay with him, but if you want your face right next to his, then have at it! He's thrilled to let everyone know what's his and who he belongs to.

Bob only films while wearing a little black mask. Everyone thought he was being quirky during the pandemic, but he simply can't film without it. His viewers can always tell when he's enjoying himself because those wireframes perched on his nose start getting all foggy. Stutters when he reads the live chat and visibly becomes red when someone suggests something even remotely dirty.

He's very, very vanilla, prefers to entertain folks who want to see him play with his cock, but every once in a blue moon, he'll treat everyone to the sight of him fucking himself on a thick toy. Always uses the fleshy/realistic ones, determined to make it look as real as he can get it. He plays into viewer requests very easily, if he sees someone ask him to reach down and play with his balls, then hey, that's what he's doing!

He'll let his partner join in if they want to, but it 1) takes him forever to tell you about this particular career choice (he's mortified about putting it into words) and 2) his viewers aren't going to see very much of you. Like he doesn't want them to see anything more than your hand on his cock; he's possessive like that.

Miles? The sweetest thing to ever grace a camera. Thigh-high stockings, plaid skirts, pastel pink and baby blue toys. He loves feeling comfy and cozy when he's intimate; everything has to be perfect and fit his chosen aesthetic! Such high production value for a man who's too shy to look into a camera. Please don't ask him to read the chat; he'll burn into oblivion.

Probably one of the most vocal out of the bunch. He doesn't say a whole lot, but he'll lay there in his bed, whimpering and mewling like it's the last thing he'll ever do. Is also very well known for how shaky he can get when he's close; it's such an obvious tell that his audience can guess when he'll cum.

He starts out solo, but it very quickly becomes something that Miles likes doing with his partner. He's just a little guy; please fuck his poor little ass until he's begging you to stop, spank him, ride him to the point of tears streaming down his pretty face, spit on him, pull his hair, and make him say something dirty to the viewers.

Jordan puts on a show. Like he's the only one of the boys who is gonna twirl himself around on a pole and put on a little performance before the fun starts. Has been known for the occasional workout tease live stream and fucking a toy in the bathroom after. He's got the widest variety of toys, fantasy dildos, fucking machines, brightly colored cock sleeves. Jordan is the guy to try anything and everything at least once.

He intentionally plays himself off as a dumb, air-headed twenty-something, and that makes it very easy to lure in donations. Some folks think they're paying enough to pressure or trick him into doing something they want, but they don't realize they're playing right into his hand.

Jordan is also the most on and off about letting you come on camera with him. Some days he wants to hide you from their greedy eyes, some he doesn't care, but he also loves having the spotlight on himself. It's a conflicting thing, but if you really want to join, then all you've got to do is remind him of the spike in donations that come in when he's got someone else to play with.

Harrison is...truly something. He knows that his viewers are there to oggle at his body, and he plays into that a lot. Tight-fitting clothes, filming right after a workout when he knows his muscles are still hot and swollen. He's even got an Amazon wishlist full of stuff that his viewers send him to wear.

Like Bob, he's got a preference to focus on his cock and occasionally his nipples, but sometimes he'll get into a mood where he'll finger himself while he jerks his cock in that big fist of his. Whatever he's doing, he's always in lighting and angles that compliment his build, biting his lip and looking into the camera like he's beckoning the viewer to come and do whatever they please to him.

If you're on camera with him, then he isn't even paying attention to the viewers. He. Does. Not. Care. What. They. Want, he cares about what you're doing, and that's it. Probably the most intimate out of all of them, fucking you exactly how he would in private or even letting you take control and split him open on that pink dildo that's been sitting in the corner of all his videos...did you know that he kicks his left leg when he's getting fucked?

Major Major is the biggest tease known to man. Strips for certain donation goals, says he'll use a certain toy when they hit a marker, but then turns around and entirely forgets once he gets there. He's a frustrating little guy, but he's got a charm to him that keeps reeling new folks in.

When he does follow through with it, it's a sight to behold, though. He babbles so much, regardless of what he's doing; his viewers got him to climb in his car's backseat and fuck his ass on a toy once, and it was on the front page for weeks. Mindlessly yammering about how worried he was that someone would see him, how this was a bad idea, but oh, oh, that feels good.

You know what it is he's doing, but if you want to join, then you'll have to ask because he practically forgets about it the moment the livestream ends. His content doesn't really change; he's still just as babbly, except this time, he has someone who will talk back to him and give him a bigger reason to ramble.

[lennadanvers]

Seven Minutes in Hell

Uni Student!Eddie x Asexual!Reader

A/N: One day left of the Ace Week and I finally finished this (kinda sorta, in the way that I can't and I won't keep adding to it, or editing it or rewriting it). I'm completely burned out, my back hurts and I lowkey hate how this turned out- there's so much dialogue and I read it so many times I just think it's bad now. However, since I put so much effort into it, and since I want Eddie to be with an ace reader, I'm posting it anyway. Please be nice, because I've been in a crisis for over a week and I will cry if you're mean. Also, this is terribly long compared with my usual works. Idk.

NOTE: The Reader is asexual. No, there is no use of the word "asexual" here, because it's not needed for a character to be ace. No, the Reader doesn't explain/teach to others what it means to be ace- they just voice their boundaries. Asexual is someone who feels little to no sexual attraction (and you can use it either as an umbrella term or a micro label- please investigate more if you feel like it! It's a very interesting topic and you can learn a lot!). Being asexual doesn't equal to being aromantic: an asexual can still feel romantic attraction. Also, asexuality looks different for everybody- some aces may be okay with kissing but not sex, for example. This Reader isn't okay with either. I hope you enjoy the fic! Happy Ace Week!!

Okay, this was a very bad idea and you should have realized sooner.

In your defense, life this far from your hometown is… different. Lonely. In Hawkins, everyone knew everyone. You had a safety net all the time. Maybe you weren’t friends with everybody- but you were friendly with most, at least.

Here, on the other hand, you are alone. Big city, small-town girl… a sad combination. You’re barely learning how to survive. None of the skills you had acquired at home are useful here. For God’s sake, you can’t even bike to the store- you have to take the subway.

One good thing about the city, though, is the variety. When you first came here, the thing that seemed the most exiting was how open people were about themselves.

They’re just not that friendly, though. No in a deeper level, at least. They are, however, very active. Lots of parties, concerts, bars and nights out. The girls in your dorm are unable to sleep during the night, apparently.

And if you want to fit in with them, you have to at least attend a party once in a while.

That’s what brought you here. You start to question if it’s worth it, though, when Lindsay- redhead, loud, flirty Lindsay- grabs you by the waist and starts dragging you across the room. She’s nice, but she’s… different. She goes out with a different boy every Friday, and brings another one to her dorm room every Saturday. It’s really not your business, and it seems to make her happy, so you simply steer away from her business.

It's not that it bothers you. You just don’t get it. Well, not in practice. In theory, it makes sense. But when you picture yourself in her place… It’s uncomfortable. Weird. Foreign. You’re happy she’s happy this way- it’s just not for you.

She doesn’t feel the same way.

You see the circle of people too late, take too long to come up with an excuse; and before you can stop her, she’s announced you’re playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

You’ve never taken part in things like this. Never wanted to. Now everyone is looking at you, and you’re just too uncomfortable to run away, even if what you want the most is to disappear. Lindsay goes over the rules. You look around for a way out. Maybe a fire alarm will be waiting for you.

That’s when you see him. A curious pair of puppy eyes, a wild mane of hair and an unmistakable rockstar vibe.

Eddie Munson.

This has to be a nightmare. You remember him from Hawkins High- how could you not? He was always so loud an opinionated, so funny and charming, so… So different from everyone else. It was hard not to notice him in the hallways, but that wasn’t the reason you were always looking for him. See, he had- still has, now that you’re face to face again- something that draws you to him. Something in his smile, in the way he moves his hands, so confident, so in display, like the world is a stage and he’s the main character.

And you’ve always felt like the audience, an external observer, the witness to other people’s stories.

Until now, that Eddie Munson is in the same city- the same party, the same room, the same group of people- as you, far away from the hellhole that is Hawkins. Until now, that he’s staring at you, just as surprised, but a little less terrified. Until now, that Eddie looks like he’s expecting something from you. You’re sure your clueless expression is what makes him smile shily and look down at the floor, where an empty beer bottle points straight at you.

Dread washes over you as people start to cheer. Eddie chuckles and stands up. Lindsay grabs you by the arm- who knew that a girl this petite could be so strong? – and drags you to an empty closet.

Only when the door slams behind you, muffling out the music and noise from the party, you realize what happened.

You’re alone, in the dark, with Eddie Munson.

Trapped in a tiny space for the next eternity (seven minutes). And he’s cute, taller than you remember, and he smells nice. And he’s probably expecting something from you. Something like a kiss. Or more.

And you, for the love of God, do not want a kiss. You want him to be pretty and funny and at a safe distance from you.

The silence is overwhelming, his breathing too close for your liking. That’s the only excuse you can find for what you blurt out next.

“I absolutely do not wanna kiss you!”

The silence turns heavier. You press your hands against your mouth, but it’s too late. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s dark in the tiny closet, because at least he can’t see your horrified face. You hear a scoff and what sound like his feet shuffling to the side.

“Of course you don’t. You’re way too out of my reach, yeah? Were you hoping to be paired up with one of those pretty boys?”

His voice is harsh.

You had seen him argue with Jason Carver before. You had seen him mad, frustrated and mocking. None of those times did he sound quite like this. Never had such an edge. If the lights were on, you worry you’d see a sparkle of hurt in his eyes.

Maybe that’s why you start to explain yourself, panic taking over.

“No! No, that’s… That’s not what I meant at all! I just do not wanna kiss!”

Eddie’s laugh is sarcastic and dark.

“Yeah, I figured that much. Well, guess what? I didn’t wanna kiss you either!”

He sounds angrier now. It’s easy to picture him with his arms crossed.

“Really?”

When the only reply is silence, you know you should have shut the hell up. Or at least you could have tried to not sound so relieved. You cringe.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant either. I-”

“Listen, I have no intention of kissing someone who doesn’t want to kiss me. So why don’t we just wait in silence until the time is up?”

You remember his frown when the jocks made fun of him at gym class. Eddie looked miserable half of the time at school. Now he’s left school, moved away from Hawkins, and you’re making him miserable all over again. Even if you really don’t mean to.

The guilt makes you start whispering.

“Anyone. Ever. I don’t want to kiss anyone. Not now. Certainly not any of them. It’s just that Lindsay forced me to play! I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. Trust me, Eddie, if I wanted to be locked in a tiny closet with any guy at this party it would be you, but I don’t! I just really, really don’t want a kiss- I don’t want anyone to touch me, actually… I’m sorry- I bet you wanted to have fun here and I ended up ruining your chance. Listen, I’ll just walk out of here and tell them I feel sick or something, and they’ll have to give you another chance-”

Before you get the chance to embarrass yourself further, Eddie interrupts you.

“Hey, hey, wait a second there.”

You can feel his eyes on you. That’s the only thing that stops you from yapping to death. You wait, but he takes too long to speak.

“I’m sorry if you thought-”

“I never wanted to make you uncomfortable!”

He cuts your apology short yet again.

“I just thought… I recognized you. From Hawkins. Class of ’89, right? I remember you. I just…”

Eddie clears his throat. You take a deep breath because he sounds softer now. He starts talking again and it’s like listening to a cartoon character- fast and disorganized. Cute.

“I just… I thought you were kinda pretty- back then! You were always smiling, and you used to carry around some of my favorite books. I- it’s not like I like you, I… It’s-it’s been a long time, and… I saw you in here. And you look just as beautiful, you know? I’m never lucky like this. Then the bottle landed on you- I thought I had a chance, after all the years of pini- It’s okay, though, I understand! I bet you have better things to worry about, huh? I bet you’re busy publishing novels or something, right? I remember your poem, the one you read on the talent show- I really liked it!”

Somewhere between pretty and beautiful, Eddie started leaning against the wall. His shoulder is warm against yours. You really don’t mean to, but a giggle escapes you.

“Oh, and now it’s me who can’t shut up. I really should have learned by now. I always end up getting in trouble like this. Do you think I could finish all the oxygen here if I keep talking? I could die of suffocation. That would save me the embarrassment of having to see your face when your friend opens the door. Would you do me a favor and forget any of this happened? I really don’t want you to remember how much of a loser I am...”

You’re laughing now. Eddie’s head thumps against the wall next to you and you decide to stop him.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way. I don’t think I can forget how you think I’m pretty and beautiful…”

Eddie is groaning, and probably shaking his head too- his hair tickles the side of your arm.

“Also, if you died of suffocation now you wouldn’t know that I thought you were pretty too. Back then, I mean. Oh, and you were never a loser. I always thought you were very smart- with all the ways you found to get back at Carver and his clique. Also, it’d be a shame to deprive the world of your music! I remember you at the talent show too.”

His voice sounds muffled. Is he hiding his face in his hands?

“Stop making fun of me!”

It’s not an accusation. It’s whinier and more playful. It helps you relax a little.

“Are you kidding? I’d never make fun of you! I’ve actually always liked you, Eddie.”

You’d swear his breath just hitched.

“Are you serious?”

Lucky you, the darkness won’t let him see the way you’re blushing. You shrug, trying to look nonchalant even if he doesn’t see you.

“Well, yeah.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“Listen, I think we started with the wrong foot here. Why don’t we… Would you like to… I don’t know, maybe sometime we could-”

A beam of blinding light and awfully loud music interrupts him.

Oh, God.

“Time’s up, lovebirds! Ooh, look at you! Girl, you’re red as a cherry! What were you guys up to, all cozy in here?”

Lindsay is smiling at you, and you want to disappear again. You don’t dare take a look at Eddie; you just push past her, out into the party. You just want to get away. You need to get out of this house; out of the city, maybe- run away from the stupidity.

Stupid Lindsay.

Stupid game.

Stupid kisses.

Stupid expectations.

Stupid yo-

Someone takes a hold of your wrist and brings your escape to an end. Shit.

“Hey, hold on! Wait up!”

You really don’t want to turn around. You really, really don’t want to see his round, starry eyes up this close. You really, really, really don’t want to know how far you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Eddie. No, you want to pretend you never saw him here. No, the last time you saw Eddie Munson was graduation. He was happy, had that stupidly cute smile of his, and then you never heard anything from him-

“Hey, I’m sorry- oh, God, you said you didn’t want to be touched. I’m sorry!”

He lets go of your wrist as if it was hurting him. His voice is a little too loud now that you’re out of the house. But it’s still gentle and nervous. You take a deep breath and turn around. At least you can’t make this worse, can you?

“I didn’t mean it that way, Eddie.”

“You didn’t…? Oh! Oh, no, you didn’t! No, I see, I- I know. Okay!”

Eddie closes his eyes and scrunches his nose, his head falling backwards. It’s a cute face, even if he looks completely humiliated right now. Something that makes no sense to you.

“Listen, I… Would you like to hang out sometime?”

It’s a simple question. That doesn’t stop you from blinking three times before replying with another question.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Eddie’s eyes open like a cartoon character’s.

“Shit! You don’t do that either? I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m an asshole, and I should leave you alone. I’m so sorry. I promise you’ll never see me again…!”

In his rush to give you space, he ends up tripping over his own feet and falling on his ass. You try to catch him by the arm, but he’s too heavy and you end up falling too.

It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

A laugh makes its way out of your chest and it’s impossible to stop it.

“Oh, God…! Are you… okay, Eddie?”

He’s staring at you as if you were crazy. Fair, because you probably are.

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” but you’re still laughing, “I’m sorry. I guess we’re both sorry, huh?”

The giggles keep coming out.

“Yes… I’d like to hang out sometime.”

His head snaps to you.

“Really?”

You do your best to get the laugh under control.

“Really.”

“Okay, then.”

Now he’s taking your hand and lifting you to your feet. It’s a simple movement, fast and soft; but not faster than your ability to blush. At least you’re not laughing anymore. Eddie is closer now than he was in the closet, his chin a couple inches away from your eyes. He smells like wood and blankets: warm and cozy. It’s easy to forget the party behind you, the loud music and cold air disappearing into his eyes.

“So… No kisses, then? Of any kind? Or is it like touching?”

You find yourself whispering too.

“Just no kisses on the mouth.”

“Great.”

Suddenly, coming to this stupid party doesn’t seem that terrible of an idea, because Eddie Munson is kissing your forehead. And it’s ridiculous, silly and amazing. He’s also blushing, eyes crinkling at the sides and a round, shy smile reflecting yours.

“Just so you know, that counts as our first kiss.”

“First? That implies more than one. Someone’s very confident.”

“Well, the night is young and you look like you have some time to spare. What do you say we get out of here? I could introduce you to the best milkshakes in the city.”

“…I’d actually love that.”

This time it’s you who grabs his hand. Eddie grins, and he looks just like the boy who stood on tables back at Hawkins High: young, brave, ready for adventure.

“I shall show thee the path, milady.”

He bows and you laugh. Walking away from the party and the rest of the world is easy. Comfortable. Natural. The way heaven must feel like, if you had to describe it.

[cumaeansibyl]

okay this is my biggest conspiracy theory except it's not really a Conspiracy Theory because I am not actually positing a shadowy prime mover who planned the whole thing from the start. that always ends up in wildly antisemitic places where I do not go, and also I don't think anyone in history has had their shit together enough to mastermind Schemes of this type. my theories are always more like "this happened serendipitously and at some point maybe someone noticed and took advantage but there's certainly no central figure in charge."

so we start with the normalization of overwork in our society, since roughly forever. in modern times this led to abuse of medical and recreational stimulants -- everyone was on speed in the 50s and coke in the 80s -- but we all kind of figured out that was a bad idea, for the most part. what we still had after the white powder settled, though, was caffeine. totally legal, totally normalized.

but people were still overworked, and they also still wanted to have energy after work, to do fun things with the little free time left to them.

enter energy drinks.

unlike coffee, which still has the feeling of a daytime beverage and also to some extent a workplace beverage, energy drinks are an anytime food! you can even get them in mixed drinks for a night out. they're for work AND play. they come in a wide range of dose strengths, including a shooter for when you're in really dire straits. after all, taking caffeine pills feels like "pill-popping," but having a little beverage is fine, right?

at the same time, there is increasing interest in remedies for a variety of unspecific ailments caused by "toxins," the new buzzword in a very old industry of patent nostrums and dubious cure-alls. the theory is that some sort of unspecified substance has entered your body, and in order to feel well again you need to detox and cleanse -- which in practice involves a lot of induced defecation. And this is supposed to be good for feelings of fatigue, muscle soreness, anxiety, stomach upset, and difficulty sleeping.

See where I'm going with this?

The "toxins" that make you feel terrible all the time are caffeine. Not heavy metals, or refined sugar, or vaccines, or yeast. It's just fucking caffeine.

Well, caffeine and chronic overwork/sleep deprivation, which is not entirely a direct result of the caffeine but is certainly enabled/exacerbated by it. Everyone is working too much and taking stimulants to get through the day and in fact experiencing mild overdose symptoms on a fairly regular basis (irritable? jittery? that's caffeine toxicity) and it's no wonder we all feel like shit.

And then! When you come home from your day of pushing your mind and body too hard! It is ALSO normalized to take downers to level out! Alcohol is also a toxin, and it takes a lot less of it to start doing systemic damage than most people realize. When you wake up in the morning feeling foggy and achy, it may not be enough to register as a proper hangover, but it's almost certainly the combined effect of alcohol and caffeine withdrawal. Both mild! Both nearly harmless and easily recovered from! If you're not doing it on a regular basis and if you're getting enough rest, which you're not, as we previously established.

It's the chronicity that's the issue, the neverending grind of it all. You can't recover from chronic sleep deprivation or overwork with an extra few hours of rest on the weekends. You can't recover from long-term chemical dependence with a 24-hour tolerance break. If you're a wage earner in late-stage capitalism your options for reversing the damage are pretty limited and they all look like deprivation: prioritizing an unbroken 8-9 hours of sleep per night may well mean giving up most if not all of your social life and leisure activities. Fuck that.

And to be clear, I don't consider choosing to stay out late with a vodka Red Bull to be a personal failure of any kind, just like I don't think poor people should never buy themselves anything nice. If work keeps trying to take more and more of your time, you gotta carve out time for yourself somewhere. But... y'all know me. I want people to know the risks.

I think a lot of people don't realize that their bodies are under this much strain. They don't know that we are better suited for a 4-6 hour work day, that 6-7 hours of sleep is genuinely not enough for most people, that as little as 2 cups of coffee might be enough to put them over the recommended maximum caffeine intake. They don't know that they're drinking enough alcohol to cause health problems.

If you know and you decide to do it anyway that's fine, it's your right. I do inadvisable shit all the time. But people don't know, they're not being told, because they can't be allowed to question the material conditions they're being forced to endure -- and then they're being sold a bunch of useless or even harmful bullshit to "cure" the inevitable consequences of those conditions.

[roughribo]

How to do waxwriting play:

I've always loved waxplay, as a sadist I get a lot of joy out of watching my partner squirm in pain. But as a writer I've always had lots of fun playing around with the idea of bodywriting kink and using my partner's body as my writing canvas. One day several years ago I decided to combine my interests in waxplay and bodywriting and not only were the results stunning, but it was surprisingly easy to do. I've searched for it online, I've been to kink events, but I've never seen anyone mention it. It kind of feels like I just invented a new kink in a way.

The result is what I call "waxwriting," an activity that combines the fun of writing on someone with the sadomasochism of hot wax.

The supplies:

Waxplay candles (soy preferred, paraffin not recommended)

A set of kid's watercolor paint brushes

Electric wax warmer (or way to heat and control temperature of the wax without an open flame)

Thermometer

Towel/paper towels for brush cleanup

Safety rant:

The most important thing about this is having a way to have a sustained small pool of melted wax at a SAFE and controlled temperature. I achieved this by using soy waxplay candles and a wax warmer that I normally used to make my home smell good.

However, this is a big important point I want to make, do NOT assume that a wax warmer will heat your wax to a safe temperature. While most warmers fall in that range, please take temperature measurements by using water and a thermometer in the saucer of the wax warmer and practice the actual technique with caution before ever trying this on a live person.

Temperatures near and above 150 Fahrenheit (65 Celsius) are unsafe and are likely to blister and burn the skin but even before that point, some people find temperature play above 130 Fahrenheit (54 Celsius) to be a hard limit, so have a talk with your sub about preferences or run a "sexperiment", a nonsexual play session dedicated to playing out a high risk scene ahead of time to figure out the logistics of the scene and the limits of the people playing in the scene. Being able to do a dry run of a scene beforehand can give you invaluable information for how to conduct future play. And no it doesn't lessen the magic of the actual scene late on.

Some logistics:

Okay safety tangent over. For now. Since soy wax has a lower melting point of roughly 113-127 degrees Fahrenheit (45-54 degrees Celsius), it sits firmly in the middle of the temperature range that most commercially available home wax warmers tend to heat up to of 100-150 degrees Fahrenheit (38-65 degrees Celsius). For reference, my wax warmer averaged 130 Fahrenheit (54 Celsius)

I had less luck with paraffin wax candles because they had a higher melting point of around 115-142 degrees Fahrenheit (46-61 degrees Celsius) but also tended to cool quicker making them unsuitable for transferring to the skin via the paintbrush because the paraffin wax would just harden on the brush before I could write with it.

Soy wax actually retained heat long enough for me to write strokes across my skin while still being that sadistic pleasurable temperature. Because the thermal conduction of paraffin wax is greater than that of soy wax I recommend using soy wax candles for this activity, as the retention of heat is crucial for actually writing on your submissive.

The actual tutorial:

The actual technique is fairly simple. Put your wax into the wax warmer now that you have established the wax warmer heats to a safe temperature (I had to cut the candle with a butterknife and remove the wick). Heat your wax using your wax warmer and let it become liquid. Grab a smaller brush from your kit, I found that flat brushes with a width of 4mm to 6mm produced the best results, but you could go bigger if you wanted, there are just certain downsides I will discuss later.

Dip your paintbrush in the liquid wax and get it thoroughly soaked in wax. The next part is the simplest part to understand but hardest to master. The moment you remove your brush from the wax, it will start to cool, so it's important that the distance between your wax warmer and the body you're writing on is close and you must get a feel for the timing between soaking the paintbrush and applying it to the submissive that gives your submissive that "almost too warm" sensation and not be too hot or too cold. For me in my experiments, this was roughly a second.

Do not press into the skin, or else you will deposit all of the wax at once. Run the head of the brush over the skin and the wax will come off naturally before it starts to get too cool to apply to the skin, or roughly 3-4 seconds, in my experience. Depending on how fast you write this could be roughly anywhere from 2-5 letters per dip of the brush.

Which brings me to my first con of this activity. Unlike just dripping or pouring wax over someone's body, waxwriting has these frequent pauses while reapplying wax to the brush. I personally am not bothered by this, but know that it may be inconvenient for others.

The next con is this: the wider the brush the more dipping you need to do and your wax gets used up quicker because of the size of the lettering you need to do. Keeping your brushes and letters smaller tended to let me write more efficiently with letters roughly an inch in size. But if you want to write "SLUT" in huge broad strokes to embarrass your sub, by all means, grab a larger brush, just keep an eye on the wax you have available so you don't wind up with just "SLU" before you run out of wax.

The third con is that you may need to take breaks to heat up more wax. As I only had the one wax warmer I occasionally needed to stop to heat more wax. I found when using the smaller flat brushes the wax will actually last for a while. The smaller the brush you go, the longer you can write on someone for before needing to refill.

The final con is cleanup because it's very clear these paintbrushes will not last forever, and wax is even harder to clean out of the bristles than paint. Running it under hot water and taking a paper towel to them helped, however, somebody could always butt in and tell me I'm doing this wrong and there's an easier way to remove wax from bristles I'm just not familiar with.

Public Service Sub Announcement:

Has your sub drank water today? Make them. More news at 11.

In conclusion:

Be safe and happy waxwriting. Feel free to share any results in a reblog or tag. It's a fun way to introduce pain into bodywriting kink that feels very intimate and has the added bonus of being very photogenic.

I've been wanting to share this knowledge for a while ever since I discovered it years and years ago. I recently came across my documentation for the initial experiments and decided to present everything here on tumblr and share my findings. It's definitely a niche activity but I think it has so much potential for a BDSM date night, a kinky photoshoot, or maybe even as an activity at your local dungeon.

[iskratempestmadness]

If you take request, what would the Baki men do with a significant other that did a different sport? Like ice skating, softball, volleyball, or maybe gymnastics, something like that. (I also really love your work so far❤️)

Okay, let's go

Baki:

- he's happy for you. I think he would like someone who is as passionate about his business as he is.

- if you study at home (if possible ) One minute he's training, the next he's training with you. He makes the most of it. He learns from you, despite the discipline you practice.

- regarding training outside the home... He won't be present at all (sometimes for good reasons, sometimes he's just too lazy to go), but he will periodically bring you a snack.

- HOWEVER, HE IS PRESENT AT ALL YOUR PERFORMANCES (unless of course he has a fight at this time)

- despite the fact that Baki is quite gentle in nature, however, he will make sure that you are more disciplined. Training at a set time, diet, early risers.

- in case of failure at the competition, he will find the strength to motivate you to give you the strength to continue training (he knows how important it is)

Hanayama:

- neutral... Well , like OK , he just took this information into account and that 's it

- but he will buy you gifts related to your hobby. If you play basketball, he'll buy you new sneakers or something... In general, he will express his interest financially

- he will watch programs about your sports, performances at tournaments. In general, this boy will try to ensure that you have something to chat about with him

- from the previous paragraph, it can be concluded that Hana immerses himself in your activities when he has time. He can even practice with you if you want.

- He really supports you, it's just that his support is on another level, it's a little deeper than words

- he may attend training several times, but don't get him wrong, as I said before, he is a busy person, but he really tries to be present

- it's the same story with competitions, he's present at some, but just look at him. He doesn't show himself clearly, but he literally exudes pride when you win.

- he is not the best at comforting you in case of loss, but he definitely feels your emotions and will try to give you a motivational speech, but he will be better able to calm you down with touches

Katsumi:

- Oh, he's interested

- he would like your dynamics, like he

- tell him about what you do. Tell him everything from the important things to the little things. (unlike Hanayama, who tries to find out everything himself, Katsumi prefers to find out everything from your mouth)

- and he's super supportive of you. Right at 100%

- he will study with you at home. He will also maintain discipline, as will Baki. (But Katsumi is more forgiving)

- he rarely attends training sessions (he is also a busy person), but he comes to all matches.

- he shouts at you from the stands, he will make a float... It's all about him. Of course it's great, but sometimes... Firstly, it becomes absurd, and secondly, it is sometimes a distraction.

- if you lose, he will do everything so that you do not abandon yourself and continue to train.

- a lot of gifts from knitted with your sport

Jack:

- he also easily accepted the information

- he thinks it's great that you have a hobby... And that's all, he doesn't attach much importance to it, just because everyone should have a hobby, if that's how you prefer to spend your time, then fine. And there is a benefit and you are passionate about something

-but if you ask him, he'll practice with you. At first, he treats it neutrally, but later he will get used to it. (it will probably become a ritual, you will get up at the same time, then warm up, jog, workout for about an hour and work together

- he also monitors your discipline. Jack should know how important she is.

- he also doesn't come to your training sessions. However, it happens at almost all your competitions.

- he will probably give a little motivational speech before the competition

- look at him after you win. He's proud, he's really proud of you. He won't shout about it, but a look at him will be enough to understand how he feels.

- but if you lose... Then he will give you another motivational speech, and you will have no other option but to continue studying

Retsu:

- he is also interested,

- will he train with you? Naturally. He believes that this way of spending time is more useful.

- HE WILL GIVE YOU A MASSAGE AFTER TRAINING. Trust me, you won't regret it, he was extremely good at it, and it instantly relieves tension from the muscles.

"HE'LL ALSO COOK YOU SOMETHING DELICIOUS AFTER YOUR WORKOUT." Something nutritious and delicious, the very thing after a workout, he knows exactly what you need

- there are also a lot of gifts related to your sport

- he rarely goes to training outside the house, but he is present at ALL competitions.

- and he's super supportive of you, but he's not to the point of absurdity. Perhaps he will shout out something supportive, but no more.

- and he's ABSOLUTELY proud of you.

- (in honor of winning the competition, he will cook you a festive dinner)

Shibukawa:

- I'm glad for you. Well, it's really great that you're passionate about something.

- he will train with you at home, of course. For him, this is another way to have fun while away the time

- the same will come up with a snack for you after training (probably tea and a sandwich)

- however, unlike others, he demands to repay him (not with money), like he trains with you, repay him the same, he will gladly teach you aiki

- discipline? Well, maybe he's not really watching it, but he'll make sure to put you to sleep or wake you up.

- it rarely happens outside the house during training, you can say it doesn't happen at all.

- but he comes to all competitions (he's super supportive)

- it is also possible to give you a massage after training.

[kokomos]

❀ 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

joel miller relationship headcanons

+ He's the kind of man who always opens the door for you, it sounds basic at first until you realize how far it goes. He'll be shocked to hear you took the garbage out when he wasn't home, that's his job! And you shouldn't be dealing with the bugs either, he'll do the dirty work for you.

+ Wakes up before you so he always has breakfast done by the time you're up, he tries to make sure every meal he serves you has as much nutrition as he can manage to provide in the given conditions.

+ Has a habit of checking your temperature near constantly. Love makes him turn into a big worrier, he can't help but feel like he's gonna lose you.

  - "You sure you're feeling okay, baby?"

+ Really likes it when you sit on his lap, he'd be feeling up on your body like crazy. Hands all over your hips, rubbing the side of your thighs as he traces absentmindedly with his fingers.

+ When you're out in public, it's the same story of his hand on the small of your back or an innocent hand on your thigh. Touching you makes him feel so comfortable wherever you guys are.

+ He's got such big hands, he adores watching you play with his fingers.

+ Also really enjoys when you feel him up, he'll feel so good about himself if you squeeze his muscles or rub your hands up and down his chest.

+ Definitely likes to play with your hair, doesn't matter if it's long or short, straight or curly, he's already tangling his fingers in it.

+ Sleeps with you either on his chest or with you as the little spoon. He views the night as the most unsafe time of the day, claiming most crimes happen when it's dark out. He's right but you should reassure him the both of you (and Ellie) are safe in Jackson.

+ Volunteers for patrol if he knows you're signing up that week. If you're going outside the walls he's gonna be right by your side, simple as that.

+ God forbid you get hurt while you're out there, he'll be a mess rushing you back to Jackson and straight to the med center.

+ It doesn't matter how minor the injury is, after he knows you're okay he's on his way to Tommy's where he practically forbids him from letting you patrol for the next month.

+ He's so soft when he's taking care of you, rubbing your hands and peppering them with kisses. This doesn't mean you can escape the scolding that's to be expected when you start feeling better, it's inevitable with him.

  - "You gotta be more careful, baby, I don't wanna lose you."

+ Definitely the type of boyfriend who wants to join you in the shower. Not for sexual reasons most of the time, he really enjoys the act of washing your hair and having you wash his. Likes to wash your body too if you're in the mood, he'll kiss up and down your arms until he reaches your neck.

+ Loves when you initiate physical affection first! It makes him so giddy on the inside like a teenager falling in love for the first time.

+ Kisses on the forehead are mandatory with him. It's so simple but it makes him feel even closer to you.

+ In regards to Ellie, he'd prefer you to keep some distance with her until your relationship starts to get more serious. The last thing he wants is another person leaving her behind.

+ Ellie plays a huge part in your relationship. In the sense that she matters a lot to Joel and what she says goes. It's a smart idea to suck up to her if she doesn't warm up to you/get along with you from the start.

+ At first she'd be unhappy with the idea of Joel dating, she thought it'd just be the two of them and she struggles coming to terms with the fact you're becoming a part of their lives at least for the time being.

+ Things change in your relationship with Ellie when you return from a patrol with some piece of space memorabilia found in the ruins of a museum you deemed 'close enough'. It's at that point she realizes how much you're actively trying to build a friendship with her, and she treasures that sentiment more than the gift itself.

+ After that, Ellie starts asking you to hang out with her, specifically to join in on her favorite (peaceful) pastime of reading comics. She'll give you the ones she's already read to help guide you while she answers every and any question you ask. She's really passionate when she talks about the characters and it makes her super proud if you compliment her knowledge on the subject.

+ Seeing you and Ellie getting along gives Joel such security in your relationship and the future he wants to share with the two of you.

+ Obviously he's not a big talker, but this man does not communicate his feelings. If there's a problem, you have to confront him or else he's just gonna ignore it and move on.

+ When you try to get him to talk about how he feels he'll never not try to brush it off in the hopes you'll leave it alone.

  - "Please not the 'communication is key' speech again, sweetheart, spare me."

+ Get him while he's sleepy! He'll be too tired to put up a fight so he'll give in and tell you whatever you wanna know.

+ On some evenings when you're together, he'll put music on and dance with you in the kitchen while dinner finishes cooking.

+ Chores with him are actually so fun. As he's grown older, he's begun to appreciate the little things in life like doing laundry with you. He'll never take the peace for granted after everything.

+ And sometimes when you two embrace, he almost forgets about the Hell outside and all the horrid things he's seen and done; in the moment all he can think about is you.

— ♡☆

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Song - What About You Currently Shines Brightest?

Sup y'all, I'm back in time for the start of Leo season with another pick a card reading! The full moon is coming right up and I will likely do a reading for that as well very shortly, but I already had this done the other day and wanted to get it finally posted after much delay!

Below here are three cards to choose from belonging to the now-obsolete board game DropMix. It was a game connected to an app now unfortunately no longer in service, but it allowed the game to play by having chips in the cards activate a code that would send to a phone app to tally points as well as play music. You could pile the different cards together on a jockey board based on color and basically create your own remixes. You could play or make freestyle music. My basic pack has as many cards as the minor arcana + 4, so I thought these would be fun to bring out and work with for the partygoing Leo energy that's budding this late summer.

1, 2, 3

Pile 1. The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face

Cards: Baroness (Fire, Leo); "I am in touch with my purpose and passion in life"; 7 of Swords, XIX Sun, XVIII Moon

(Okay just a quick note I just gotta let u know that I eventually plan to paint over the Sun card for my only RWS-esque deck because the smiley face creeps me out lol so I put a tiny candle over its haunting face. The Sun is supposed to be a positive card dangit!)

Anyway back to your reading! Right off the bat I feel like you're gonna be shining bright this season no matter how you personally feel about summer, get in the mood and live it up! Light that bonfire. Jump in the pile of autumn leaves. Tap into your senses in the most innocent and playful way. I feel like you shine brightly when you get excited about literally anything in your life, it could be a new brand of coffee or new pair of jeans or something but people like how you react to things. Reminds me of Youtubers who have these funny but authentic personalities as they review random products or whatever.

I feel like you can get so in love with something that you kinda, as the song suggests, "go numb" and let everything else fizzle away from your focus. But the thing to remember is that all those other things are still there even if they don't light you up. It's all about learning to find the sweet spot between really enjoying the moment and being in flow with the best of things while also attending to the gritty details. It doesn't mean you should "go numb" in the other direction by only focusing on practical things. When I see Sun and Moon in the same three card reading I am reminded of Temperance because you're trying to balance two different energies together that are ultimately meant to work together. Manifestation+work, joy+catharsis, reason+instinct, yeah? It's a lot to seesaw back and forth every day but 7 of swords tells me that you find ingenious ways to pull it off. Don't let the shyness snuff the light out, and don't let the egoic sense of duty override your needs.

If you feel like sometimes you have to sneak away to find time to enjoy what makes you shine from the inside, I'm getting guidance for the collective to simply learn how to share a little bit of what you're doing while balancing it with the part of you that wants to protect your creative ideas and work on them. Again, there's a message here about balance. You don't have to spill everything about your life to the first person who asks, but at the same time there will be people who benefit from your fiery energy. Your interests and talents deserve to take up some space, pile 1. I think this pile just shines in general even if you're not always aware of it, even if it's incredibly subtle. It's in the little things.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 2. Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

Shield (Fire, Sagittarius); "I attract relationship in harmony with my authentic self"; 5 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles

This pile could be going through some awakening period right now. I know, I know, it may sound cliché with "wake me up inside" as the lyrics, but it occurred to me that the Shield in your card is like this old energy that has been barricading you from material experiences. Like this is a pile who's really already been in the thick of the brambles and is wanting to come out. The Sagittarius arrow sign is in my mind like a flare set off from deep in the woods as if to say, "hey! I'm over here, come find me!" It's being let off in the sky in the hopes of rekindling some sort of lost connection to something, could be a person or to a certain goal. You currently shine brightest when it comes to relating to others, and seeking out positive relationships.

It could be that you've gone through some disrupting experiences that have encouraged you to wall off to self heal. This may have taken a long period of time to work through. I feel that you're moving into a part of the thicket where more light is pouring in from the outside, that you're near the end of a long isolating tunnel. You're entering a phase of your life where you're ready to have connections that feel more solid and real, rather than fairweather friendships. You're looking for sustainability, for people to have some sense of loyalty with. People with whom you can truly enjoy the abundance of life. The main issue is that grief and isolation can becomes habits that we may need to temper with in order to allow the new. Forgive yourself when you still feel the need to retreat even as you begin to stand out more. Depending on how long it's been, it can be quite an adjustment.

Maybe abundance is coming a little slow here, as the green color here is blocky. But it's rich like emerald, so once it's found, things will transform in your life radically. It's saying that even if you identify as an introvert, there is still "treasure" to be found in building new relationships. It could be totally virtual. But you shine from making the most out of the opportunities that your current or as of yet undiscovered relationships have to offer. You have a lot to offer others as well. I do get a strong teaching role from this pile. Maybe you've thought about going into teaching. I think your students would see you as sensitive and resourceful.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 3. LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

Marigold (Water, Scorpio); "I am wise and wonderful"; 6 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups

Your reading is so clear to me, you shine brightest when you are fully present in the moment and loving what you're doing and who you're being. I don't think this pile likes to waste any time lol. I think you've had some hard experiences that have taught you how to value the time and resources you have, especially when you give this energy way generously. And I get the sense that you're learning how to manage both the philanthropy side of things with the personal fulfillment side. You're learning that one does not necessarily require the sacrifice of another. Compromise, maybe, but not at a net loss. You can give without overextending the hand, you can seek out bliss in life without taking it away from others.

This is not a common trait to shine in, pile 3. It's a mature place to shine, but not always easy to develop. It's required a lot from you right from the beginning. There were probably some things you had to let go to make it all work before. But it doesn't always have to be that way. Your ability to rise above the situation, brush the dust off your coat and move forward is what makes you shine. Although I'll say this: even if it looks like all is going well, you're still allowed to feel whatever grief is stored up inside you. It's part of moving past it in order to make the most out of the present.

Some of these experiences may have had something to do with your sense of confidence, your body image, how your present yourself to others, self-expression, and I'm also getting pretty privilege as a topic. Self worth over buying the right kind of things too… I think you're letting your hair down finally. You're letting some outdated ideas about your image go, you shine when you declare yourself to be beautiful and sexy "just because". Why does there need to be a reason? Some people might tell you that you, in particular, aren't "allowed" to feel good in your own skin and clothes. Some may get threatened by your confidence. But it's because that's where you shine and it's up to them to adjust their vision. Tell em to make an optometrist appointment if they can't handle seeing your presentation.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, Vitaminsee Tarot ™

[gravytrainnaturebornn]

the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)

disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!

weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.

for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.

questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.

so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !

correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.

for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.

what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.

below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.

okay ill stop blabbing! here:

•i allow myself to be thin.

•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.

•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.

•i am prepared for my body to change.

•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.

•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.

•i am not afraid of being hungry.

•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.

•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.

•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.

•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.

•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.

•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.

•i am not afraid of getting what i want.

•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.

•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.

•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.

•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.

•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.

•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.

•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.

•i allow myself to have the body i desire.

•i allow myself to change.

•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.

•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.

•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.

[huckleberrykai]

berry🤭🤭 I've been thinking a lot about newlywed husband hyuka lately:(

I can't seem to find a good way to put this thought into words but ughhhhhh husband hyuka is consuming my mind

i just realised i like never put warnings on thoughts / inbox stuff so ima start doing that 😭 minors dni! idk what happened here but husband!hyuka unlocked the breeding kink hdksals if ur not into that my apologies ����

oh my gODDD I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS

he's just so obsessed with you - he was when you were his girlfriend, then his fiancee, but something about you finally being married, being legally his wife... he's on a whole other level of obsession.

he buys you all of the silly newlywed items, like a robe that says 'huening' on the back and a mug that says 'wifey' and loses his mind whenever he sees you using them. he tries to be as good of a husband to you as possible, being so domestic and loving... always touching you... meaning ~

new husband hyuka who CANNOT keep his hands off of you <3

not just in a sexual way, no no. kai literally just wants to hold you from the second you're pronounced married and all of the wedding stress is over. he could care less about the reception, the party, the people although he still has a great time and taehyun makes one HELL of a best man speech. his hands are always on you~ your waist, your butt, your feet when he rubs them for you after your shoes have been hurting all day - he doesn't care as long as he's near you <3

when you get to your honeymoon destination best believe he cranks the clingy husband vibes up to the MAX. his new favourite activity is holding your hand and playing with your wedding ring ~ it grounds him and reminds him that you're married, you're all his now and he's so happy :(. he's the same about his own ring too, glancing at the shiny gold band like it's the best thing in the world, only second to you. he slept on your shoulder clutching your left hand on the plane to your dream honeymoon destination (he let you choose, he didn't care where he went as long as it would just be the two of you >.<) and the second you got to your cozy hotel room ... he was fulfilling his husband duties immediately.

it only takes him 5 minutes for him to sling your luggage and his into a corner and push you onto the rose-petal-covered bed of the honeymoon suite - complementary chocolates and champagne put aside to enjoy later. he had things to do first (you LOL). here in this beautiful room he proceeds to ravish you like his life depends on it. he eats you out until you've cum on his tongue at least twice, pushing his fingers into you - specifically his ring finger so he can admire your glossy cum glistening off his ring <3

whenever you try to reach out to help him he bats you away, "pretty wifey... just stay still okay? don't worry your pretty little head about me. i'm gonna be more than satisfied okay?"

oh and he is. especially when he initiates the most sexual loving sex you've ever had, and he finds himself filling you up over and over again. he thought you'd be done after one intense round, but when you scratched at his chest begging for one more.. then one more.. he couldn't say no. eventually, you're wailing from the overstimulation and constant orgasms - crying as you feel kai fill you up yet again. by now he's so addicted to the feeling and the sight of your pretty cunt filled to the brim with his cum, leaking out around his cock and dripping onto the crisp white sheets that he just can't stop.

"'m gonna fill you up again baby... can never get enough of you, my lovely wife~ gonna make you all round with our baby one day. fill you up so good..."

he's obsessed with living the perfect domestic life with you, and the idea of knocking you up just gets him so excited. even though you aren't ready for a family yet and you're still on birth control, kai sees no harm in getting some practice in of filling up your pretty cunt until you're crying <3

"want you to be so full of me... feel my love in your tummy~ if it leaks out tell me and i'll fill you right back up princess <3"

so yeah he's a pretty good husband LOL

[afyrian]

no. 5 - cabin firekey masterlist

    “welcome to cabin firekey.. terrible name, i know! i wasn’t the one to chose it though,” you open the doors to your cabin, turning around to look at all of the kids joining you for the duration of camp.

  they all look different from each other, all intrigued by different things. a few of them hold their phones, eyes lit up with the bright blue lights. a couple of them holding their bags while dancing on the balls of their feet. you could picture yourself in them, each of them, even the one who seemingly wants nothing to do with camp.

  “as you all know, my name is y/n, and i’m your counselor. we’ll be competing in activities, hosting a talent show, and having some fun in between. i know that this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but i’m hoping we can enjoy ourselves,” you take in a deep breath, clasping your hands together, “so pick your bunk and we’ll get to know each other.”

  as they filter into the cabin, you look back into the woods and spot atsumu with his group. he’s already engaging them all in a discussion, expressing himself with his hands and movements. you bite your lip, wondering if this counselor thing was going to be as easy as he’s making it appear from afar.

  you turn back to your cabin, looking around to see that most of the kids had already set their things down. the couple of them that seemed excited had quickly laid out their things, styled it some, their attention on their fellow cabin mates.

  “so, i’ve already seen the names of everyone joining, but how about you give some names to the faces and a fun fact about yourself?” your heart rate quickens as you see all of them looking over at you. 

  the looks on their faces practically scream that they’re all socially nervous, hoping for someone else to start the conversation, “uh, we can start with me.. i used to come to this camp when i was your age. i actually met a lot of my good friends here. mmh i also really like to play video games, so if this stuff isn’t your cup of tea, i’m always good to talk about that.”

  being welcoming was the only way you could think to get them involved. to bring about a side of them that they wouldn’t normally show to others, which is why you loved this camp. slowly, the girls all started to get out of their shells some. like amaya who joined the camp so her parents would buy her a new computer part. or kaida who wants to work in wilderness conservation, paired with her twin kaori who loves theater. 

  it slowly brought smiles to most of their faces, a few still stubborn.. and honestly, you couldn’t help but feel overjoyed that even if it’s your first day, it’s a better week than you could imagine. at least, it has been going well, now all you need for the perfect day is a great dinner. 

  “okay, tonight, the only thing on our agenda is dinner. they’ll have a few options for dietary needs, so please let the servers know if you need anything specifically,” you grab your phone and stuff it into your pocket, standing by the door, “and you can sit wherever. if you know someone from another group, feel free to say hi.”

  “could we sit with you?” hanae, one of the shyer girls, raises her hand slightly, pursing her lips.

  you nod immediately, “for sure, i’ll probably see some of my friends, but yeah, plus you guys can help think of some filler activities between the main stuff.”

  this seemed to make some of the kids a bit more confident, walking down the path together with a pip in their step. you subconsciously look towards where atsumu’s cabin is again, him and his group already gone from their area. almost instantly, you look back forward, scolding yourself for even wondering what he would be up to. you don’t care, you probably shouldn’t care.

  especially when he likely doesn’t even take a peek in your direction, unknowingly setting off a chain reaction of emotions within you-

  “y/n!” a voice comes from your right, the noise of someone running up to you forcing your head to look at the person.

  all you can see is a tuff of blonde hair as someone wraps their arms around you. however, the feeling of the short-stature automatically makes you know that it’s the nishinoya. “noya! i would’ve assumed you would already be at the mess hall.”

  “nah the dudes ended up wanting to catch some bugs so we lost track of time- but can you believe atsumu is here? the balls on that dude,” he shakes his head, completely ignoring the many younger kids surrounding the two of you. 

  you laugh some, shaking your head, “i can’t stop him from being a camp counselor here, and neither can you. besides he doesn’t even remember me! so trust me when i say that it’s not balls.”

  nishinoya bumps into you some, his two left feet unable to walk straight on the narrow dirt path. every little thing starts to help you remember things from camp that you never would’ve thought of. the two of you trekking through the trees, him constantly bumping into you cause he leans when he walks. his voice loud and quick, always making the conversation feel shorter than it is.

  “okay.. but i could fuck him up if need be!”

  “dude don’t you have like ten year olds in your group? and no, don’t even think about it. i will get my revenge when and if the time is right, young noya,” you bow a little, acting as if he’s your padawan. 

  he shrugs his shoulders, eyes clearly now focused on the mess hall. his mind switching between the conversation at hand and the mouth-watering food that the both of you could remember osamu making. you smile to yourself, trying to listen as he discusses some talent show thing his group wants to do. 

taglist (open): @lemurzsquad, @froyaoya, @localgaytrainwreck a/n: noya’s here!! i love writing him and hope you guys like it too