#it suuuucks
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I don't know if I'll be able to do day 7 of the week because I'm sick and feel like crap
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I hate the Fire Temple
#totk spoilers#totk#tears of the kindgom#tears of the kingdom spoilers#I keep getting lost#or falling into the lava#it suuuucks#heather plays games badly#heather plays zelda#ooc ;;
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Me when I want to talk about my hyperfixations but there’s nobody that shares the same interest as passionately as me
#it suuuucks#and I don’t want to be annoying#But in a group of peeps where I’m the odd ball#I can’t inject my stuff without ppl wanting to talk about other things#cuz I know it’s not that interesting#can the Layton fandom revive itself plz#I’m desperate#text
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Got a month’s prescription of klonopin. Wish I could find out how other people are affected by it, but all I find are posts about getting fucked up. I mean, I guess good for y’all, but not very helpful for me 🤷🏻♂️
#I’m about to take my first one in a bit#been trying to find actual reviews online that aren’t from people just partying#it suuuucks#okay first of the nurse was super sweet and nice BUT I ASKED FOR XANAX#I did NO research on klonopin so now I’m scrambling to build up the courage to take this stuff#I’m sorry. I’m not a big drug user. I’m paranoid about side effects#I just want to feel mellow and not as sad#I know this is for anxiety not depression but my new antidepressants aren’t in yet and I need SOME kind of relief#I kinda just sat and cried and freaked out in the car earlier so… wanna get on this before that hits again#I tried to go for a run this morning.. which… I can’t run. this body sucks and I have bad balance and it just feels bad#so instead I walked around the neighborhood for awhile. it was nice. so pretty.#it rained earlier so it was cool and dewy and peaceful#and I could hear the birds and felt peaceful for awhile#now I’m in this house and it’s OPPRESSIVE!#THIS WORLD IS SHIT PRISON IN ISOLATION GALAXY!#I went to Walgreens earlier and tried to see if I would be able to work in a place like that#trying to hear people talk while wearing hearing aids#it… wasn’t a hopeful trip. depressing. I want a job and to get out so bad#I need cash and I need to be around people#it’s just hard. trying to adjust. trying to see some hope. it’s rough.#I wish I could listen to music but it’s just noise now#and I can’t eat because nothing tastes good. it’s all dry and bland and I know I’m hungry#and being hungry makes my mental state worse but it’s hard to feel the need to eat#blegh whatever. gonna try some ramen and I got a Gatorade for the calories so we’ll see#sorry about the bitching#I appreciate if you actually read all of this#text
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I'm slowly doin' all the ninjas here HAHA
(It's Kai btw)
#ninjago#kai#kai smith#ninjago kai#ninjago city#red#red ninja#ninja#fire#fire ninja#he's bisexual#because i say so#idk#beginner artist#beginner#it suuuucks#:(
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So I'm in this weird place where the guy i hooked up with a couple times a couple years ago is dating my partner's sister and we all hang out cause siblings and everything is fine until the dude does something ambiguous enough so that it could be interpreted as flirting but it could also be just good ol' horsin' around and then i just wanna die cause apparently feelings die hard and my partner thinks it's funny and I hate it here
#got any advice for me?#my partner and I are nonmonogamous#but im not sure what their situation is#and it's weird#it suuuucks#ethical non monogamy#non monogamy#nonmonogamy#polyam relationship#polyamory#polyam#polyamorous
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I hate the new tumblr app version…
RETURN THE OLD ONE!
P. S. love the worm icon ;)
#my blog#tumblr#tumblr app#why there is a market in the place of my dashboard#wtf#seriosly though#it suuuucks
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fr sometimes i legit forget i use it/its
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help my wifi's killing me, I can't do anything properly!!! i can't finish my stuff AAAAAAAAA
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Tragic! No matter how many times I blow my nose I can’t clear up my left nostril :(
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There's other types of perception distrust as well. I've had to ask friends if X is "normal" because I know my brain doesn't catalogue it correctly. That's the problem, that's the OCD, my brain freaks out about X, so I am sometimes literally unable to tell if X is genuinely over the line where it would be a problem for anyone or if my brain is doing its usual freakout and I need to tell it to chill/push myself.
When your brain is the thing that tells you what objective reality is but your brain also sometimes lies to you that there's a tiger behind you, it can be difficult to tell if there's actually a tiger behind you.
OCD symptom i struggle with but don't see talked about a lot: inability to trust your own memory and/or perception.
as an example: i put my headphones in my bag. i say im sure they're in my bag, but what if i imagined putting them in my bag? i have to check, so i stick my hand inside and grab them. but then i have to check *again* because what if i just so happened to have another object shaped and sized exactly like my headphones that i just forgot about? so i have to pull them out of my bag and look directly at them to fully confirm they were in my bag
this is a fairly benign example but this also happens with other worse scenarios for me and it's. not fun
#ocd#it suuuucks#and then reassurance-seeking makes OCD worse so you gotta be careful about when and how youre asking#like is it desperation to feel okay or are you trying to figure out objective reality#can you handle the uncertainty but also you need to make a decision based on objective facts
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banging on the walls chewing on cables. i need to write a new song
#it's been way too long :////#idk now that i'm more busy ig my brain is too tired to be creative#it suuuucks#bc i feel the grime collecting on it for months that only creating can scrub off
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i really really want to look like a guy so so badly
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You ever have an idea for a drawing and just like... start hyperventilating because you are so excieted to draw it? Yea. Just got that. Well had that earlier with a different idea (which I need to sketch out before i forget) but I was sober then and not now, and damn! Alcohol really makes things seem a LOT more exciting! >:3
#eritalks#noart#rambling#i wish i was less on the aphantasia scale#because i want to see what the fuck i am imagining#without HAVING to draw it myself#it suuuucks#anyway#onto drawing!#>:D
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bill hader can i be loved genuinely image
#i feel like no matter what i will always feel unloved#and its not even the other persons fault i will just dissect anything and everything and assume its proof that they don't care#it suuuucks
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