#it sucks that im like this
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I think it should be seen as normal for someone who isn't collectively dating their partner, as to have mixed feelings for them and feel frustrated somewhat towards them.
Like, I kind of wish I was in a polyamorous relationship, and it's frustrating that we don't always like our partner because we're not always the same person. Like, I also don't want that be seen as conditional love. Like the parts of us that love our partner, want to be with them forever, but the parts of us who don't love our partner, feel lost and trapped in a relationship that they're not inherently happy with.
So it pisses me off that some people want to treat us like a singlet in terms of dating. I mean, as a system, I deserve to feel some frustration because not all of us are into men or into anyone.
And like, I don't want anyone heartbroken at these words, its just different to live life when you're a system. I'm not one person and it frustrates me that I am treated like I'm one person all the time.
God, its so frustrating to be one person with one life. And I hate the fact that monogamy is the norm.
#vent.txt#okay to rb#and like dont give advice here. theres nothing i can do because our partner wants to remain monogamous#and im going to respect that#but this isnt something about myself that i can change#so i think im allowed to be frustrated#i think this is why we have so many 'counter' parts as well#because we feel disconnected from our partner sometimes#and need love elsewhere#the parts of us that love our partner havent fallen out of love#so i dont think this can be treated like a singlet relationship#it sucks that im like this#but i cant really help it
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basement guys
#hehehee ive been meaning to draw them lol#i have a bunch of comic ideas i wanna get around to but theyre gonna take a while orz#first one is based on a headcanon abt links humming coined by arystocat.. idk i had a really vivid interaction thinking abt it#the other one is longer but basically connecting the zonai are descendants of gods rumor with some zelda canon abt how#hylians have long ears to hear messages frm the gods.. rauru is really hard to draw though so i keep redoing it ugh#im also practicing how to properly draw faces and i think i like how these came out...!!!#i really suck at gettingthe 3/4 face angles right so rn i consider this a win#my art#myart#doodles#loz#legend of zelda#totk#tears of the kingdom#zelda#link#ganondorf#tloz#ok now i sleep
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i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.
"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.
my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.
i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."
"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."
"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."
#writeblr#:)#the small secret love i have for y'all. the way i am filled with gratitude.#for the nosebleed club. for stephen particularly.#for every artist i've ever been in contact with and collaborated with.#for every person who has commented on my work and passed it along or fallen in love with it#for every silent 'just hitting like' follower and for every person who sends me dms and for each of you#i know i suck at replying bc i have anxiety. but like. you keep being here. so i keep writing.#i legit wouldn't be here without you.#thank you sophie thank you katie thank you carolyn thank you stephanie thank you jess#thank you if you're reading this#i got too overwhelmed with love and have to stop writing this FAR too early into the thank yous bc im about to cry with love
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#“i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back#like “sorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.” or like “ur loss lmao”#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like “hmm i see. that's an interesting way to play it” WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING “INTERESTING” ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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i think honestly the craziest thing abt transmisogyny isn't like the active moments of hate but the complete unwillingness and uninterest in anything we have to say — this assumption that if a trans woman is talking it's not worth your time and you can just scroll past. and then you'll have fuck terfs in your bio like nothing happened! wild
#if any of yall reblog that f1nnster post im gonna be heated for realsies tho#sorry! it actually was really shitty of her to perpetuate 'trap' narratives! that sucked a lot actually!#glad he's genderfluid now genuinely like good job but the amount of videos she put out that are like. just. spot the Fake Woman#like PLEASE respect tgirls even a little bit
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something i rarely see addressed on here in discussions of transmasculine bathroom issues is the difference between men's and women's rooms, and the way it excludes transmascs with vulvas.
I am a trans man pre-surgery of any kind. ideally i would like meta with UL, but for euphoria reasons primarily- STPs are expensive and a hassle, so i have no issue sitting to pee. i am 11 months on T and do not pass. using the women's room bothers me, but i live in the southern US so it's safer. i have no issue dealing with it to quickly piss and leave. what i do have an issue with, is when someplace claims to be trans inclusive, but in practice, is not.
i had a pretty awful night. my boyfriend and i had been planning to try out a local goth nightclub for weeks, and we finally got the chance to go. when walking in, there was a sign on the door that said "no racism, no homophobia, no transphobia..." etc. i was excited, thinking that i may actually be able to use the men's restroom for once! a few drinks in and the urge hit- i was feeling anxious, so i asked a staff member if it would be safe for me to use the men's room. "yes of course, we are very inclusive, there are plenty of trans people here." in i went and....
5 urinals, and one single stall- which was out of order.
i turned around and used the women's room. i had no choice. of course, there were 6 stalls in there.
this is not the first time i have experienced issues with men's rooms having a single stall- at a gay strip club, i ran into a similar problem, where the single stall in the men's room was not out of order, but instead, had a line of 20+ people. i, and a few other guys, opted to use the women's room instead of waiting (clearly this design flaw hurts cisgender men as well!)
men's rooms being built only with people with penises in mind, and often all but excluding anyone who needs a stall, is an issue that needs to be addressed far more often.
edit: ive seen a few people in the notes adding their own experiences outside of transmasculinity, saying that they don't want to derail- i want to make clear that nobody is derailing. this issue absolutely intersects with transmisogyny, ableism, and general androphobia (which i define as the way patriarchal expectations hurt all men, not any group systemically oppressing men.) keep adding on your own experiences. this issue affects everyone who has ever needed to use the men's bathroom.
#trip talks#transandrophobia#transmisandry#transphobia#anti-transmasculinity#im sure this is also an issue for anyone with mobility issues#or digestive disorders like crohns/IBS#the night sucked for other reasons but this was what made me want to leave.
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happy pride month
#surprise. it's a bit. i actually drew the punchline earlier and was like “oh ill make up the lead in later”#and then the lead-in ended up being 8 pages long and semi-serious. kms. and my wrist#isat#isat spoilers#odile#siffrin#mirabelle#i want to be her best friend irl and im so serious i adore her#anyways. long post be upon ye dash again sorry#art#god i hope this one lands im worried it sucks. oh well. cant all be bangers#also this isnt the same universe or context or whatever as the other comic like this its just bits#also. the trick to getting siffrin to agree to themself being loved is to just confuse them with something else. like a dog taking a pill#long post
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CW // dream sequence , derealization
as long as you're here
#HOORAH!!#guys im so nervous about posting this i suck at stuff like this hi#osc#osc art#object show community#pepperpepiart#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fan#inanimate insanity test tube#ii fan#ii test tube
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This 2chan board i found is making me fucking crazy. If you were curious if chan board users were universally pathetic
#these dudes both seem like they suck btw i didnt include the netouyo behavior but it was bad#im not a regular 2chan user i went and poked around on impulse#and yes if you were worried that the netouyo levels were normal this thread does start with the mad dude accusing someone of being korean#2chan is bad they just accuse everyone the dont like of being korean
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
#mine#cats#i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway#ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things#me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun#i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph#like we dont need to be doing all that#as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice#anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is#whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling#have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3#its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK#there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong#i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3#ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason#still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies#anyway. i am going 2 bed
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🍁 i bring to u life series nitw au and a gem doodle
#i have zero things planned out for this au dont ask#oooorrr like. i do but tjey all suck so im still at the drawing board!!!! really am no good at anything but drawingf grian !!!#kidding ummm boatem band yes i like weird autumn a lot#trafficblr#hermitblr#boatem#grian#impulsesv#gtws#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#life series au#life series#hermitcraft#nitw#geminitay#hermitcraft season 10#my art#yeah#I FORGOT TO TAG MUMBO#mumbo jumbo
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the thelyss brothers
-Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 113, "Assault on the Malleus Key"
#sorry im like barely giffing cr right now november sucks a lot of energy out of me and im focusing on big arcane/bg3 sets and. reality#anyway im glad we got verin finally. his fans scare me often but he really is a sweetie#cr spoilers#critical role#verin thelyss#essek thelyss#matthew mercer#critteredit#criticalroleedit#mine#dnd campaign
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!
#wasnt wearing leg padding in these so sorry sams a bit skinny#sam and max#cosplay#crunchchute art#my art#i could remake the pants and jacket entirely but that would be quite hard actually. i suck at making jackets especially#so those are just thrifted and edited#lots of color differences that bug me but. oh well#pants and jacket arent that different but its noticeable in these pics#as well as maxs hands and feet. theyre slightly lighter as the fabric i used is better quality#but i ran out of the stuff i used on his body etc and i couldnt buy more from that store as they took their sweet time shipping the stuff#oh well. didnt make them for a competition so its okay#im my own biggest hater and my own biggest critic#at the end of the day i made a handful of people really happy and thats all that matters to me#gotta share them every chance i get as i usually just make a cos#wear it to the con and then put it on the shelf#but im too happy with these to just hide them away after#they need a good scrub and after that id like to bring them to another con. next main goal is viecc but thats just a maybe right now
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JUJUTSU KAISEN (呪術廻戦) + Greek Mythology
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjkedit#usergif#jjkdaily#animeedit#2605#usernik#userpayel#userngocchi#userlau#useryoshi#userzil#usernanda#userelio#userhann#underbetelgeuse#useraurore#ryomen sukuna#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#toji fushiguro#gojo satoru#geto suguru#yuji itadori#shoko ieiri#choso kamo#megumi fushiguro#homuras#some of these kind of suck. and some of these i like but matters is that after 48 hours im done :D i queued them so whenever they come up..
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“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023
day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4
#nmweek23#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#probably more accurate to say this is mnm? or nmn or whatever lol#so treat the ship name lightly and dont get mad when miles [redacted redacted redacted redacted] yknow?#i wouldnt spoil it wheres the fun in that ¬‿¬#fan art#fan comic#aa#rendevok#this is like. vaguely aa5 and on because i couldnt be assed to play those games yet#love their waistcoats tho YUM#also future warning i still suck at writing so if this is ooc! i’m sorry idk what im doing but i sure am doing it bb#i’ll update this post with links to the others as i post them! you’re in for about 30 pages so ♡ ♡ ♡ hope you have an appetite for sweets#(i say as if i didnt just post angst) IT WAS THE PROMPTS. THE PROMPTS MADE ME DO IT
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