#it started out like a harem However that will be Changing

[resquices-of-godhood]

Slut squid I mean, He of Blight

Kallamar: He of Blight, First Brother, Tried to escape through lies. Kallamar is a lean looking squid with just enough padding to entice people to take this slut of a man to bed. He is between Narinder and Leshy in height. He has a triangular mouth that, much like Heket, he tries to not open completely to better fit into the cult, as well as four arms. His ears are torn, result from the fight to imprison Narinder, and he has a scar over his left eye, an even older wound from the time of the god wars. He has no legs, instead using his tentacle, which sprout from his hips, in leau of.

Kallamar is a pathetic squid of a man. Cowardly and dramatic, he avoids confrontations like it was a fire. At the same time, though, he quickly becomes the gossip central of the cult after indoctrination and recovering from his sickness, and his sense of fabulousness is impeccable. Leoda begrudgingly allows such behaviors so long as they remain harmless. Gayne finds it hilarious. He uses a horn to help hearing and learn sign language to be able to communicate when that isn't enough.

Kallamar used to be quite sickly and without a way to be cured during the god wars, though this changed when he found his crown. While it stopped the disease's progression and symptoms at the time, he was never cured, so, as soon as he was no longer connected to the blue crown, it came back in full force. Luckily, Saleos is a capable healer and familiar with the many diseases his former god and husband wielded, so a week of bed rest and some medicine was all that was needed.

Pretty much right after, Kallamar starts (re)forming his polycule harem in the cult, gaining a reputation for being the cult's slut. He doesn't mind. In fact, he thrives in the attention.

Where he doesn't thrive, however, is at manual labor. His squid body is not well suited for things that his sister has no problems dealing with. His many tentacles and nimble hands are amazing for precision work, however, and he proves himself a skilled jeweler. More surprising, though, is the fact that the former god of Pestilence is an accomplished healer in his own right. He dismisses the shock on others with the fact that he dealt with sickness and disease on a daily basis, he should at least know how to treat them for the sake of his followers.

Kallamar has retained his ability to cast curses without a crown, but they can't hold as much fervor as when they were a Bishop. Kallamar suffers from backlash whenever they try to cast a curse, but they can still use two or three of them before needing to find a source of fervor.

After joining Leoda in a crusade to Anchor Deep, Kallamar is called by Narinder to talk in private. They are afraid of going, because why wouldn't he? He is going to meet the one that ripped his ears to shreds all on his lonesome. Still, he goes, where one mean comment born from fear devolves into throwing grievances towards each other, until Narinder mentions how Kallamar was too coward to call out Shamura on the imprisonment plan when the panther was working to help his entire family, not just his cult. That gave the squid pause, before realizing how big the damage was and apologized. The two brothers made up afterwards, though Narinder never did apologize for the jump scares.

He can absolutely go from serious and respectful to completely yassfied in 0.2 seconds flat at the mention of gossip.

As soon as he was brought back, his former disciples and witness practically threw themselves onto him, having missed their god husband. Despite everything, Kallamar is a good spouse and treated them well while he was a Bishop, and things aren't about to change now that he is mortal again. Well, ok, perhaps he did start expanding his harem, but can you blame him?

Kallamar's crown was the Blue Crown, which lords over the domains of Pestilence (plague) and Fortune (gems). It is the definition of a sickly Victorian noble child, bratty and fragile, which reflects in user. Its abilities and Kallamar's Resquices of Godhood are Plague Bearer and Crystal Growth. The former makes so the bearer is capable of spreading disease by their mere presence. As a resquice, the potency of those plagues are very diminished. The later makes the bearer capable of making gems and crystals grow, ruining any cut that might have been used on them, but producing more of the same stone. Without a crown, however, the process is slower and requires a liquid medium to absorb the minerals (water is usually enough).

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

noqu: announce your project!

me, running in circles and screaming: IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS

[sunderwight]

PIDW but it's a game.

You play as Luo Binghe, the lowliest disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's Qing Jing Peak. The first part of the game proceeds more or less like a semi-normal fantasy dating sim -- Luo Binghe is bullied and downtrodden, but can seek help and opportunities to build relationships with various female characters, like Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan. The game's interface implies a truly staggering number of potential romance candidates to unlock, however, so it makes sense that the first part in your disciple years doesn't get you very far in any of the routes.

But then for the second part, things start to shift. You get an option that seems to amount to asking whether you want to make things better for Luo Binghe or not. When you click the obvious choice, that you do, your previously cold and ruthless shizun seems to go through an inexplicable change of heart. You get a weird kind of fanservice-y scene featuring him during the Skinner Demon Mission. Then he features extremely heavily in the Demon Invasion Mission, only to turn up as your companion in the Dream Demon Mission.

After that, it seems like you've gotten onto his route, somehow? Why does the scummy male teacher even have a route in a game like this, though? You try to check for player guides but you can't seem to find any. You try reloading older saves and making other selections, but no matter what you choose, you end up finishing the Dream Demon Mission by moving into Shen Qingqiu's house, and the routes for Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying and the briefly-encountered Sha Hualing are all greyed out.

But maybe that just means they're inaccessible for advancement for now, or something. And a lot of games have plot points that are on rails, and you can see where Luo Binghe actually getting a place to live would be one of those things. The format of the game changes as well, going from a relatively loose sequence of scenes and interactions to a daily management style, where you have tasks to complete (make shizun breakfast, go to morning lessons, cultivate, do chores, etc) and only a set number of hours in which to complete them. You have affection points, but any time you try to spend them on anyone other than Shen Qingqiu you get an error message. There are dialogue options for flirting with other characters, but they're always greyed out and impossible to select.

Still, you can unlock scenes. A lot of them are just long slow shots of Shen Qingqiu doing things, like reading, or lecturing, or eating. You get missions, and sometimes you meet female characters who seem to unlock new possible romance paths, even though they're still constantly greyed out. Maybe this part of the game's just especially on rails? Waiting for the actual harem-building segment? You kind of like a lot of aspects of it anyway, though. Luo Binghe is an especially compelling character, not at all like the usual sort of non-entity placeholder main guys in games like this. He definitely has personality.

But then you get to the third part. The Abyss. Shen Qingqiu pushes Luo Binghe in, and suddenly you're wondering if you've somehow reached a bad end. You were saving up some of those affection points for later, maybe you should have spent them all on him? Was there something you did wrong to make this happen? You're not even sure why he's thrown poor Binghe away, he was cold and cryptic about it, and now you're wondering if all the time you spent distracted by other things was time you should have spent farming a better relationship with him. You can't help but wonder where you went astray, because Luo Binghe will not stop wondering about it, and wondering about it in ways that make you feel oddly like he is accusing you, the player, of making the wrong choices... but in a way that could still plausibly be aimed at himself, as a character. You feel bad. You kind of want to restart, but you also can't bring yourself to abandon Luo Binghe. You have to see this through, to help him make it to the other side.

Regardless, the Endless Abyss seems like it must be an inevitable plot development. A lot of the game shifts to account for it. There's even an option to essentially select this "thought" from Luo Binghe's internal diatribe, that this is inevitable, and it seems to turn off the litany of recriminations for a while, although sometimes it also results in Luo Binghe... glaring at the screen?

At you?

Anyway the daily management system goes out of the window, and instead there's an energy bar now. Encounters with monsters or the occasional demon woman will lower the energy bar, how much depends on what you choose and how the encounters proceed. Sometimes there are romantic/sexy responses for interacting with the demon women you meet, and they aren't greyed out, but if you try and select them the cursor will jump to another option. You think there might be something wrong with your mouse? Sometimes you get Luo Binghe glaring at the screen scenes afterwards. When Binghe's energy bar hits zero, you're offered two choices -- "sleep" or "think of shizun". Sometimes even if you pick "sleep" the cursor will still jump to "think of shizun", and you'll be treated to another one of those slow lingering scenes of Shen Qingqiu. Except they are becoming increasingly strange, obviously warped by the exhaustion and trauma of the situation, so that aspects are eerie or even disturbing. For example, sometimes Shen Qingqiu seems to be missing limbs, or eyes. Sometimes there's blood on his hands. Sometimes the food he's eating is rotted, or the bamboo house background looks like the Qing Jing Peak wood shed. That kind of thing. You don't mind the idea of harm coming to the man. He deserves it, really, for pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss. But the few times you try and select options along those lines, the UI glitches again.

Also the "think of shizun" option only restores a quarter of the energy bar, whereas resting restores all of it. But if you try to go for too long without doing it, it will lock you into choosing it successively for a long time.

In addition to the energy bar, there's a calendar. It's not all that sophisticated or even consistent, and it's clearly meant to reflect the fact that Luo Binghe has troubles accurately judging the passage of time in the Abyss. However, the longer you spend in the Abyss, the more violent and unhinged things start to become, and the more the UI starts glitching to reveal disturbing messages, and the more often Luo Binghe "glaring" scenes happen. So you decide to do your best to get Binghe out of here as quickly as possible. This part of the game must be broken, but hopefully if you can make to the next segment, it will work properly again.

Eventually you get to the Xin Mo Mission, which is the last part of the Abyss section, and Luo Binghe escapes.

But the weirdness continues. Worsens, even. You still get missions to like, take over the demon realms and infiltrate Huan Hua Palace, all cool stuff, and you still meet girls who seem to unlock possibly romance paths. But most of the time everything is greyed out. There will be 5 dialogue options but maybe only 1 or 2 of them will be selectable. Parts of the menu are inaccessible. You don't have an energy bar anymore, you have a Xin Mo corruption bar, and it just keeps steadily rising. Sometimes you're presented the option of propositioning a character to "mitigate corruption", but if you try and click it the game glitches or the cursor freaks out and it fails. Sometimes the game crashes outright, and when you reload your last save, it starts with Luo Binghe glaring at you through the screen. You still get the "rest" and "think of shizun" options at times, but neither one helps the corruption bar.

Then. Jinlan City. You reunite with Shen Qingqiu. There seem to be a lot of options for acting vengefully towards him, but they're all greyed out, except for a few which let you chase him down or manhandle him a bit. The whole segment is frustrating, full of weird fanservice-y moments but also mired in how little Shen Qingqiu will say, how often he insists on evading or running away, and how Luo Binghe doesn't seem to have the right prompts to actually get him to explain himself. At times it seems like the "think of shizun" mechanic is bleeding over into the real interactions with the character, so that you can't tell what's really going on vs what are the manifestation of Luo Binghe's trauma or even hallucinations. The Xin Mo bar has maxed out. You have to catch Shen Qinqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu--

Then suddenly the bar is at 0, and you're watching Shen Qingqiu's lifeless body fall towards the ground, his energy expended in the effort to push back the corruption. Like, all of his energy.

You catch Shen Qingqiu. Or at least, you stop his corpse from hitting the dirt.

Now the game art is crisp and clean again. All the weird UI artifacts and blocked-off menus are either gone altogether or else working properly. The sound, which had been very gradually deteriorating with low-pitched ringing and muffled portions, is normal. You can hear characters gasping and distantly shouting, and birds chirping somewhere, the ragged cadence of Luo Binghe's breaths, while the camera focuses on Shen Qingqiu's body.

Huh, you think. That's a sort of dramatic resolution to that plot arc, and it raised more questions about Shen Qingqiu than it answered, really. But at least it's over with now? Does this mean Luo Binghe can finally start to recover, or advance other plots?

Then everything blacks out. You get booted to the main menu, or something that looks like it, except the only option you can select now is the New Game+ one.

When you click it, it seems like you've started the whole game over again. Except that there is a Xin Mo corruption bar, greyed out, already waiting for in a corner of the screen. And instead of starting out with a view of Qing Jing Peak, you start out with the young Luo Binghe looking directly towards you. Like he's staring through the screen. It's the basic starting point character, except he already has his demon mark on his forehead, and his expression is way more cold and calculating than anything the junior protagonist would have worn.

"Don't get in my way," he warns.

Then the game proceeds like a visual novel with extremely limited choices. The old selections and the menu for various romance routes don't even appear, the menus have all changed again, this time oriented entirely around hiding Luo Binghe's demonic cultivation (while building it) and managing daily choices and Shen Qingqiu's relationship status. A romance game with only one romance route, and it's the treacherous crusty old teacher? Wtf? But otherwise it seems almost normal, except for the special faint-lettered red options that sometimes appear in weird places on the screen, suggesting things like preventing the Skinner demon from catching you unawares, or saving Shen Qingqiu from Without a Cure poisoning, or keeping out of the Endless Abyss.

Those options seem like they should create different outcomes, and you click them whenever they show up, but they consistently fail. As if there's some other force in the game pushing things back onto the rails no matter what you do...

Anyway, eventually you get through the main plot again, and Shen Qingqiu dies once more. This time the game keeps going from that point, however, with quests to try and find ways to resurrect him. You're starting to wonder why you're still playing -- after all, you signed up for a harem game, not this tragic gay love story? You're not even gay! It's just that Luo Binghe is such a compelling character. You decide it's time to take a break, though, so you get up, do some stretches, go to the bathroom, etc.

It feels like someone's watching you.

You've definitely been playing that game for too long. Sometimes you think you catch sight of Luo Binghe's face out of the corner of your eye, in the bathroom mirror or on the black surface of your phone's screen, just before you turn it on. But when you look twice or turn your phone off again, nothing's there. You call your little sister, to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for a bit, and you joke about getting too invested in this weird game that might be broken? She hasn't heard of it, but she sounds a little worried as she suggests maybe coming over and taking you out to lunch, or something.

You decline -- she's got a lot on her plate, and she mentioned already having plans earlier -- but then you promise to get some fresh air anyway. But when you go to head out, somehow you find yourself turning away at the last minute. You try again, and yet it's like you just keep getting distracted before you can open the door. After a few tries you give up, swallowing down your growing unease. You take off your shoes and coat. When it comes to it, you really do want to find out what happens to Luo Binghe next.

The game is running.

You don't remember turning it back on...?

The screen is focused on the familiar image of Shen Qingqiu's preserved corpse. You can see Luo Binghe's hand in the frame as well, transferring qi in yet another familiar sequence, the one that seems to run at the end of every in-game day. There's some text.

Is it you? the red letters ask, scrawling and flickering, as if someone is attempting to write directly onto the screen. Are you the one behind all this? Thwarting me at every turn?

Yes/No options appear in the game's usual font and position. You try to click "no", even though you're unsure and feel like you must have missed a scene somehow. But the interface warps and when you hit "no" it changes to Stay Silent.

I can't figure out. Are you here to help me, or get in my way?

Help/Harm. You click "help" but again it changes to "stay silent" afterwards.

What do you want from me?

This time there's no option to select at first. Then, as if being shoved onto the screen by some alternative function, a text box opens up. Like the kind that some games have for implementing cheats or selecting character names. This particular game has never shown such a function before, Luo Binghe's name was locked in and you don't even know if it has cheats. The cursor blinks, and somehow it feels as if you have only one chance, and if you don't take it now, it will be gone forever.

You type in "help" and barely manage to hit enter before the interface blinks out. No list of prompts or possible options appear.

Shizun? the red text scrawls, shakily.

Then the whole game crashes.

You wait, but it doesn't start up again. You try to run it again, but you can't find it on your system, somehow. Really weird. Even if it had crashed, it shouldn't have gotten deleted? But you still can't find it. You start to feel genuinely alarmed. Not only can you not find the game on your system, but when you try and search for it absolutely nothing comes up. You try and go to the online shop page for it, but you can't remember where you actually got it from in the first place, now that you're thinking about it.

What bullshit is this?

What, was the game actually some kind of virus? It couldn't have been. Also who would make a virus like that? You get up and pace, trying to make sense of it.

It's gotta be some kind of mistake. Maybe you've just missed too much sleep, you're not thinking right. You'll take a break and when you come back you'll realize that you were just looking in all the wrong places, somehow.

You head over to the fridge to grab something to eat.

You can't remember the last time you went shopping, but the food in there is probably still fine. Right?

[screeching-bunny]

Yandere! Supernatural Harem

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

A/N: This idea was inspired by a Reddit prompt.

Ever since you were little, you’ve always attracted unwanted attention from supernatural creatures. You were like a magnet, a special enigma that only certain entities were aware of. Werewolves would try to take you to their dens, sirens would always try to lull you towards the sea with their voices, fairies would try to guide you to their forbidden forests. The list could go on and on.

Mythological creatures thought to be made up scary bedtime stories would always line up outside your door. It didn’t matter how old you were. Childhood memories consisted of these monsters trying to kidnap and force an adoption upon you. Teenage/adult years consisted of marriage proposals and courtship. No matter where you were, there was always a stalker up your trail following you.

Having friends was basically impossible. Every interaction you’ve had with another person has always ended up badly for them. Whether they be mutilated beyond recognition or become a seeping liquid you knew better then to go out and make friends. Thankfully, you’re family was never harmed by this ordeal and you moved as far away from them as possible to keep them safe.

Currently, you have a dilemma on your hands and right now it’s because of a certain Naga.

“Do you like my skin?” He asked in a tense voice. As he stands before you with his long serpent tail wagging through the air like a dog.

“It’s very pretty” You knew better than this. You felt like an absolute fool for picking up his shedded skin. Honestly, you should have just ignore it and went on with your day as if nothing was there.

“I’m so happy you think that way. If you like it that much let’s get married and I can give you as much as your pretty little heart desires. I’m so happy I decided to approach you. It took me months of prepping and working my skin to make sure that it shined brightly when it came off”

“It’s happening again,” you thought. Interactions like this happen on a daily basis. It would be strange not to see one marriage proposal a day from these guys. No matter what you did or how much you changed your appearance, these guys would always come back with eyes filled with love. Everyone of those supernatural creatures had their own unique version of courting and expressing their love.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think I’m ready for marriage”

“You don’t have to be, as long as you come back with me I’ll make sure to treat you right and absolutely worship you. Being in your presence and being the only thing to brace your eyes is enough for me.

“I need some time to think about this, my emotions are still unclear”

“I understand this concern of yours and shall agree to give some time to ponder about this. However, I shall be coming back within a month's time and if you are still unsure I will take you back with me whether you like it or not” The naga states as slithers out of your yard and back into the forest.

The day just started and you were already exhausted. It honestly did not matter if he came back or not because, as said before, at least one supernatural creature was at your side. When he comes back, there would most likely be a bloodthirsty fight between two entities and you were sure as hell not going to get in the way by stopping the fight.

Well, there’s no use in moping around might as well just go back inside to make dinner for yourself. Walking towards your kitchen you go to pick up some food but before you could everything in your house was being knocked over.

“Seriously, again?!” You were honestly getting so sick of this. Your ghost admirer seemed to have barged into your home and was making a mess of it.

“If you’re going to stay here you might as well help me cook dinner” Honestly, the audacity of this man has you appalled. Out of all your obsessive admirers, the ghosts were definitely the most annoying. Every single day they always barge into your home and there’s nothing you can do about it because they can quite literally go through your walls.

“I’ll do it but only if you call me husband” he says lovingly as he starts to make his form appear visible to your eyes.

“Please, husband” And just like that, ingredients start to fly through the air. Hey, I mean who are you to deny free labor. If they're always going to make an appearance in your life might as well just make them useful.

After dinner, you decided to take a long needed bubble bath. Sometimes you wonder what life would be like if you were just a normal and average person. It didn’t really even matter anyways, it’s not like those wishes would ever become a reality.

Moving your way out of the bathroom you start to make your way to bed. As you lay there your eyes begin to droop and sleep begin to succumb to you.

It would have been a peaceful scene had it not been for the vampire staring at you through your window…

Pt.2

[areislol]

A time to tell

► PAIRINGS. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

► GENRE. sagau, reverse isekai, domestic life/slice of lofe, explicit/sexual (18+ for the nsfw chapters) themes.

SYNOPSIS. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to you.

WARNINGS. eventual smut, harem, angst with comfort.

STATUS. on going//i will try to update as fast and best as i can but i do procrastinate a lot so.. i do have school and work to do so updates may be a bit slow.. i will try my best though!! i do not have a specific update time, i just update whenever I finish a chapter so please bear with me, i wish i had an allocated timetable or something but i just can't fit that into my schedule (posting on a specific time).

EXTRA. i started this series because i needdd to feed my love for reverse isekai fics and i saw that there werent a lot so i was like !!! why not create my own? also, the chapters that had NSFW content in them will have the 🔞 logo beside the chapter name.

- reader is in college (has a part time job)

TAGLIST. open

> RECOMMENDED SONGS WILL BE INCLUDED IN THE CHAPTERS <

“y/n, we will be here for you for however you want us to be, we will leave even if you asked us to just please, please don’t leave us.”

chapter index

i. chapter one - the start of it all

◇─where you find yourself in a room with 24 handsome men, the thing is.. you know them from the popular game that you even played and spent hundreds of money on.. genshin impact!

ii. chapter two - the morning after

◇─the morning after everything had happened, you decided to do a little bonding session.. which was by watching your favourite movies with them of course!

iii. chapter three - a shopping spree

◇─you decide to go shopping to buy some things for you and the men, you bond by watching movies with them and playing UNO.

iv. chapter four - "you really took took care of us, huh?"

◇─a couple days goes by after meeting the men, all is going good, your daily routine has changed, and the fact that you start work tomorrow too doesn't help anything at all.

v. chapter five - Back to work

◇─you have to return back to work after having your days off, little did you know you would find out something that would absolutely make you feel at unease and that would make you paranoid forever.

MINI FIC - Merry christmas! (wait why are we supposed to say that again?)

◇─celebrate christmas with them!!

vi. chapter six - The stalker

◇─not in a million years did you expect to ever get yourself a stalker, how did you? no idea. but with the sudden help of a woman she manages to find a way to catch the stalker. will you and your friends or well, the men, see her ever again, and will they meet for the good or bad?

vi. chapter seven - A walk in the park

◇─deciding that it has been quite some time since the men went out, you take them out to a park and have a picnic, bonding time if you will.

viii. chapter eight - Credit where it's not due

◇─you finally have some time to understand elisa, and to be honest, you aren't sure if you and her get along.

[mysticdoodles]

hi i saw a post about the fish playing with the human child and even though your addition to that post is 3 years old by now i would love to hear more about ftm sheephead fish :3 (no pressure btw!)

Fish curiosity, in my inbox?? It's more likely than I think, apparently! xD

First off, there's actually multiple fish dubbed 'sheephead'! There's the sheepshead- note the extra S in there- and they look like this:

And yes those are their teeth. Horrifying tbh, but they're very good at what they do- crushing invertebrates and other shelled snacks! They're an Atlantic species that sticks to temperate and warmer waters, and they max out at about half a meter in length.

That's not the fish we're talking about today. The focus of today is the California sheephead wrasse- note the lack of a second S- also known as the 'sheephead' for short. Not confusing at all! We definitely don't bash our heads into walls over the naming conventions and lack of record-keeping of our scientist predecessors.

THIS is the sheephead wrasse, the species of the lovely and now Tumblr-famous Red! :D With a length of up to a FULL meter, they're a whole different size class of fish! They can be found along the west coast USA from the Baja Peninsula all the way up to Monterey, and dwell almost exclusively in kelp forests and nearby environments. I will use one of Red's pics as an example of female coloration-

The lighting isn't great but you can see how her body is streamlined, and besides the white underside of the jaw, has a salmon-pink coloration! Females can be pink or a dull silver-beige. And much like other large marine wrasse, MALES have a drastically different appearance.

This thing is built like a damn tank!! Sheephead are a species of wrasse that shift colors to gain those striking black scales and physically bulk up when becoming males- because guess what? ALL OF THEM ARE BORN FEMALE! By default, all male California Sheephead are FTM trans :) They use that bulky head and extremely tough set of jaws to not only hunt their preferred prey- mollusks, gastropods, and bivalves, etc- but also to bash and chomp down on rival males. This one has won many battles, look at that scarred up muzzle!

The sex change is determined by several factors, as it's not guaranteed all sheephead will eventually become males. Because sheephead school in a harem system- many females to very few males- in order to maximize pressure of stronger offspring, the biggest and healthiest sheephead male will drive out competition from the school. Naturally, a sheephead that lives longer and gains a greater size will have a much higher chance of shifting from a female to a male, if the conditions are right. Stress induced from competition can suppress the hormones that stimulate this transition in females, so they're less likely to gain size and shift from female to male if there's already strong competition taking place. However, in the event there are too few males to mate with the females, or no males present at all, the biggest female will start transitioning to fill the empty slot! It's a long process that can take as few as a couple months, or up to years, depending on resources available.

Conversely, if there are TOO MANY males, they can revert back into females! This process also takes a long time, and is a lot more rare to witness, especially because right now male California sheephead in particular are being spear-fished into becoming an Endangered species :c Sheephead adult males in good condition are considered a trophy animal in spear-fishing and similar marine trophy hunting off the West coast, and because males in particular are being targeted, the gene pool is being reduced when it wrecks the harem structure of schools.

As a fun fact- they're also an incredibly smart fish, and can form relationships with humans, as demonstrated with me and sweetiepie Red cx There's many documented cases of large marine wrasses forming long-term friendships with divers! Here's a humphead wrasse that made friends with a diver she learned would crack snails open for her with a hammer:

I don't work at the facility with Red anymore, but I currently work with two unnamed adult male sheephead, and once again they both like me and seem to despise all my coworkers, even if I never had the opportunity to train them like I did with little Red xD They pick favorites I guess? Now if only I could make friends with the garibaldi...

[alfredosauce50]

Yandere Denmark headcanons

Ruthless, ambitious, and with a mind for expansion, it’s no wonder he always finds himself in positions of political power. But like all men, he has desires of the flesh, the longing for real connection. He comes onto you as an ordinary man, and you love him as one.

What you don’t know, is that he’s the king. When you learn the truth, you pull away fearing for your own safety. But he holds onto all the tighter. With the nation obeying his every whim and every pair of eyes and ears working for him, he’s impossible to escape.

Content warning: Sex, violence, and dubious consent. R18+ only.

The nobleman

Mathias commands respect everywhere he goes. As one of the most powerful men in the ancient world, he has a potent presence that causes the whole energy of a room to change if he were to enter it. But he also likes to blend in when he can. He will dress down to avoid standing out, even if it’s still in clothes for those in the top percentile.

He often leaves the palace grounds to visit the city in person. Whether it’s for leisure or to see how his kingdom is doing, he insists on doing it without protection. And when people recognize his face as the same one on the back of their coins, he gives a reassuring smile as they talk excitedly amongst themselves. The King is here!

Chinese silk, richly dyed clothing, and the most exotic Arabian perfume. They’re everything you notice about Mathias when you serve him at your diner. A member of the ruling class, you think. But that’s all. The last thing you’d expect is for the king himself to show up in this humble establishment, fitting in like everybody else.

“Tell me, eskler,” He begins, watching you set down his meal in front of him. Lamb shank, mash, and the soup of the day. A hearty meal to go with the homey atmosphere. “What do you think about the king?”

“I don’t know,” You lift your gaze to him thoughtfully. Without batting an eye, you tell him the words he didn’t know he needed to hear, and would, in turn, change his life forever. “I’ve never met him.”

He’s taken aback by your response, but it draws him in like no other. There’s people who don’t care for politics, and then there’s you. Someone who’s never even seen him before. And so long as he keeps his identity a secret, he’ll be treated as an equal. It’s nowhere near the treatment fit for a king, but somehow, he can’t get enough.

Mathias asks you out for dinner. You reject him the first time, and understandably so. You don’t wanna accidentally become a part of his harem, or whatever it is the elites are doing these days. However, you eventually have a change of heart when you keep seeing him in your diner. Not to pester you about a date, but only to eat and chat.

“Seeing that you’re more polite than any other man I’ve met, I’ll take you up on your offer,” You tell him.

“Really?”

“What, did you have higher expectations for men?”

“No, that’s why I’m surprised you would say yes,” Mathias explains, following you with his eyes as you clear up the last remaining tables. He eventually stands up to ask this. “What makes me so different?”

The truth is, you sense that he’s a good person, and he’s shocked when you tell him. He tries to see himself in your eyes, and in turn, discovers a whole new side. Thanks to your willingness to engage with him on his level, he gets in touch with the more vulnerable parts of his character. He drops his guard, and feels strangely human.

He starts seeing you in secret. The moment he gets the chance, he disappears from the palace and makes a discrete trip to your home. His alibi? The same thing he’s been doing the whole time. He’ll always show up with flowers and other gifts, but more importantly, an empty stomach, having developed an appetite for your simple cooking.

“So, what are we having for dinner today?” He rubs his hands expectantly as he peers over your shoulder.

“Pickled fish,” You hum.

“Can I help?” He lights up, rolling his sleeves.

“You can help me by staying out of the kitchen.”

He’s very playful. Rolling around with you in the grass, pretending to bite you like a frenzied dog, it’s a timeless romance that transcends the ages. He can play with you like a child but love you like a woman, so being with him feels like a dream. His presence is just so fulfilling you can’t imagine asking for more, but he just keeps surprising you.

He spoils you. His generosity is magnanimous, pampering you with jewelry, dresses, homeware, and everything you could ever need, and more. Mathias imagines himself to be the solution to all your problems, and takes great pride in using his privilege to help you. Little does he know, it’s the one thing that drives a wedge between you both.

“This is really nice and all, but—”

Mathias is taking you to store after store, fishing out anything he thinks would look good on you. And he isn’t picky, or shy, for that matter. He will watch your silhouette behind the paper screen until you finish.

“—this is a bit much, don’t you think?” You appear from the side of the screen in a revealing jade dress, cheeks flushed. “I don’t need all these things, and besides, I could never pay you back if I tried.”

“Why would you pay me back?” He questions.

“I’m just saying,” You reply, sliding your hands in his. “It always feels like we’re from different worlds, Mat.”

He takes that statement personally and becomes cautious about protecting his identity. You hold him to a high enough regard already, and he’s only revealed so much — that he’s an aristocrat. Even then, you’re still wary of the class difference that sets you two apart. Mathias is destined for greatness, but this is all you’ll ever be. Imagine how you’d react if you found out he was the king.

He’s afraid that he’ll scare you off. All rulers have blood on their hands, a ruthlessness that evades the ordinary man. You would be heartbroken if Mathias were anything of such, and he knows. He only wants you to see him as the person he is when he’s with you. Kind, gentle, and passionate. You make feel like a man, and when he feels like a man, it fills him with a carnal sense of purpose.

He’s sensual at heart, so he can’t go without it. Not without you, or the intoxicating completion you give him. So when you start pulling away, he’ll feel the whips of panic because a part of him is slipping away. Every interaction you have with him will become emotionally charged. Mathias chases you like crazy, but you withhold from him, causing him to have frequent bursts of passion.

“I thought we talked about this—”

“—No, I thought we talked about this. You said you loved me, and now you’re not gonna marry me?” Mathias sits up out of alarm, then stares at you like you just betrayed him, because to him, you have.

When you argue

There’s no arguing with Mathias. When he wants it his way, he’ll eventually get it. And in that same breath, you can never stay mad at him, allowing for a vicious cycle that never ends. Something about him just gets you to forgive him before he even does anything. It doesn’t matter what the argument is about, or how bad it gets, because it’s guaranteed you’ll be kissing him by nightfall, and he’ll be making love to you until sunrise.

“What’s makes us so different to each other?”

“You know why,” You rub the tears from your eyes as you rush down the stairs. “I’m not your equal. I don’t have money, I can barely read, and I don’t know anything about the things that are important to you!”

“Those are trivial things! And they’re nothing I can’t give or teach you!” He runs in front of you, talking excitedly. And he believes in every word he speaks. “The fact that we’re arguing makes us equals!”

No matter how outlandish.

“It doesn’t work that way, Mathias!”

He uses sex to his advantage. You know touch is his love language, so it becomes hard to resist, especially after a bad fight. The tension calls for a hard release of it, which he does through a hot and raw pounding. It gives him the safety and reassurance that you will always love him, and he’s addicted to it like a drug. Don’t be surprised that he starts picking fights just for the sake of it.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, okay?” He pants over you, moving his pelvis back and forth in fluid thrusts.

“You wouldn’t dare,” You breathe under him.

“I would,” Mathias speeds up to a pace that gets his face to contort from a pleasure so good, it looked like he was in pain. He was going so hard and deep, his orgasm came in seconds, arriving in strong jets that fills you to the brim. And he’s not letting you go until every last drop of it is pumped into your womb.

He wrecks boundaries and shatters your mind in the process. He can’t handle distance, let alone tension, and will force his way into your world. You can’t help but let him, too helplessly in love with his smile and memory. He seems nurturing and giving, when really, he takes just as much, and if not, more. You don’t always realize that, and lose yourself as well as your ability to say no.

The King

He has a fierce intelligence that intimidates. Not only does he have one of the greatest military minds of all time, there is no taking advantage of him in political exchanges. He can read anyone with a single glance, then find a way to get out on top. It’s all in his slick grin, which goes away in an instant. Making it obvious he’s hiding his amusement is just how he mocks his enemies.

Mathias is above the system. He doesn’t abide by existing power or religious structures if he thinks they’re useless. Sailing west into an open ocean, guiding his people to enlightenment and discovery. Questioning rulers, then going so far as to overthrow them. He’s a dark horse when it comes to challenging the natural order, a master of annexation, a force to be reckoned with.

He treats those below him with respect. He will look anyone in the eye to speak to them on their level, no matter who. He’s not pretentious at all, but very understanding of people from all walks of life. Kind to the poor, merciless to the rich. Civilians are cared for by their king and love him for it, but the same can’t be said for high society. Not that they have anything to say about it.

Mathias is uncensored to violence. He wouldn’t bat an eye at the inside of someone’s skull, heads rolling, or spilled guts. As a king, he’s seen it all. He fights with his men like the God of war for all his incorruptible dreams, so every battle serves a divine purpose. If it means he can give his people a better life, give you a better life, he would gladly take it away all the same without hesitation.

And yet, when you come around, his invincibility, sharpness, everything that makes him ruthless, goes away instantly. That impenetrable exterior his enemies work tirelessly to get past, is broken. He returns to who he is at his core, a kind, gentle, and curious man because you see him as such. Being with you is like rising to the surface and taking a breath for the first time, constantly.

For this, he can never stop thinking about you. Every waking hour of the day, you’re on his mind. With the rush of politics and warfare, all he wants is to drown in your love, beauty, and femininity. You are the light to the darkness that pervades the world, your presence a sacred haven in all the chaos. It’s no wonder the world is made for two, because he can’t understand it without you.

That’s why he’s such an intense lover. Mathias will show up to your doorstep uninvited and beg for your attention like he’s starving for it, because there’s no other way to describe such a feeling. Whether it’s through talking, touching, or kissing, the way he looks at you is how all girls want to be looked at — a look with so much love, you can hardly return it. But he makes you every time.

He can stay calm even in times of conflict and crises. He knows when he’s in control, and this has served him well for many years. But if he does lose his head, it’s when you’re caught in the crossfire. He will do anything to keep you safe, even if he has to sacrifice thousands of others. He wouldn’t just go to war for you like other men, he would wage them. Start them. Finish them.

His dedication is the stuff of myths and legends, because if it came down to it, he would venture to the depths of the underworld to rescue you from the dead. Slay monsters to prove his worth. Challenge Gods. Nothing is bigger than his love for you, and he’ll make the whole world feel it. What he has with you is for the history books, epics, and sagas, but he’d prefer privacy over all.

You are his only weakness, so if someone caught wind of the king’s secret lover, everything would be over. Unfortunately, he gets too carried away by going to your home too often. To protect you, he has no choice but to reveal his identity and take you back to the palace. Dressed up in his most extravagant robes, he knocks on your door with a band of soldiers surrounding the property.

When you answer, the first thing you see is Mathias in his crown, and behind him, the royal guard. Your heart sinks as everything clicks. Why he was always so secretive, why he was always so adamant that you were his equal, his other half. Why the court advisors bowed before him despite being the highest ranking officials in the state, because he was above everyone and everything, all except for the Gods themselves.

“Let me explain.” He tells you, brows raised.

“I knew it,” You utter, slamming the door in his face. But nobody simply shuts out the king, not even you. That reality sinks in as he stays outside your home, asserting he has no intention to leave without you.

The honeymoon

The first week is the toughest. You feel betrayed and overwhelmed by who Mathias is, so you refuse to see him. He’s very understanding at first, and prepares a separate room just for you. It’s fully furnished, lavishly decorated, and filled with everything you’ve ever laid your eyes on. He’s been thinking of you all this time, yearning to be with you, but you have yet to give in. This isn’t the man you thought you knew, and yet, some part of you always suspected he’d turn out this way. He seemed too good to be true, and he was. After all, every force has an equal and opposite reaction, where his love for you alone goes head to head with his ruthlessness.

He tries to find you around the palace, which is perfect for when you eventually get cabin fever. You roam the palace grounds out of curiosity, even joining some of the servants in the kitchen. Mathias would never show up in a place like that, and that serves you well for a few days. You feel like yourself again and all is well, that is, until you run into him in the orchard, picking apples for himself. It’s the second time you’ve made the crucial mistake of thinking of him as any other king when he isn’t. No chore is too low for him to do, no place too filthy for him to be. You both stare at each other, eyes wide. Without a single word exchanged, you turn around and run off.

“Will you at least have dinner with me?” He calls out to you, watching your back grow smaller and smaller.

“I’m quite fine, thank you.”

“Please?” Mathias softens his voice. “I miss you.”

You can’t resist him, especially when he talks and looks at you like that. The man you thought you knew is still in there, and it sucks you in like a rip. You join him in the dining hall and have a meal together, even if it’s a silent one. You’re keen on leaving right after, but he’s quick to notice that. He’s never wrong when it comes to reading your body language, even when you were being subtle about it. Turns out, with him, nothing is subtle. He catches you before you get far, grabbing your hand and pulling you back. “I’m still the same person you love, so will you just stay with me?”

Mathias is sneaky. He’s really good at reeling you in and letting you think you’re pushing him away. And he gets closer the more he keeps doing it. He knows exactly what he’s doing, while looking like he doesn’t. His innocent act is more effective than you’re led on to believe, because you fall for it every time. Every interaction with him has a catch, just like the dinner that came with a stroll. And now, you’re in his bed a week after telling him you want to sleep separately. You only realize your mistake three nights in, curled up tightly in his arms, staring up at his tired, smiling face.

“What am I gonna do with you?” You whisper.

“The same thing you’ve always done.” He answers.

He’s comfortable in his natural state. Mathias has the body of a warrior, his skin scarred by all the blades that have touched him. Otherwise, he’s an impressive specimen produced from years of battle and good genes. Large, muscular, and well-endowed. If the weather allows for it, he’ll relax in the bedroom buck naked, and talk to you as casually as he would with clothes on. He doesn’t feel any shame or embarrassment when he’s so familiar with you. He can also work up quite a stink, so he makes it a point to chase you around for a hug. And he catches you every time.

He expects you to join him for breakfast and dinner everyday. Mathias has a lot of business to attend to in between, but wants you to be the first and last thing he sees. Waking up and falling asleep beside you isn’t enough. He also insists on taking all his baths with you, so you ought to get used to being naked around him. He’s the type to stare, and so much that it’s embarrassing, but he always makes sure to remind you how beautiful you are. He may be a handful, but he just wants you to be as comfortable around him as you can so you both can be like two peas in a pod.

“It’s not like I haven’t already seen every inch of you, so don’t be shy,” He wades over to you in the pool.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t stop refreshing your memory.” You splash his face, cackling. “Have some manners!”

He tutors you. Granted, it took a lot of convincing on your end, but you can’t deny that you want to be closer to him, and this is how. He teaches you all about his duties, as well as math, science, and literacy. You didn’t go to school, but he wants to involve you in official business as you’ll be his most trusted partner in the future. And if he sends letters, you need to be able to read them. He’s been elevating you this whole time, hoping that you gain the confidence to stand by his side one day. And when that day comes, he’ll propose to you in a way that feels so natural, you won’t hesitate to accept. If you see him smiling at you over nothing, that’s what he’s thinking about. You’re going to be this nation’s most beloved queen one day, and he can’t wait for it to come.

The night of your wedding, he will carry you to his chambers to consummate it. He doesn’t think of it as a duty wherein he needs to produce heirs, but something he’s been wanting to do for ages. Starting a family with you, if he didn’t already get you pregnant from all the unprotected sex he’s been having with you for months. But tradition is tradition, and there won’t be another opportunity as romantic as this. You’ll be ravished all night, taking him until your insides ache and you get sick of his taste. He has a penchant for all kinds of sex, but combined with his ox-like stamina and insatiable appetite, he could go at it forever.

Mathias would want to reincarnate by your side, finding you again and again in endless rebirths. In the dark ages where life is short and death is always near, having you just once isn’t enough. So after conquering the mortal world and making it perfect for you, he will search for answers to the question that needs answering. What comes after death, and if you’ll be there, waiting for him. It’s strange. He has dreams of having different lives, each more vivid than the last. Sometimes a dashing prince, other times, a champion boxer. He doesn’t understand what he experiences, but the thing about dreams is that they always make sense when he’s in them. So maybe, it’ll come to him one day, even if it’s thousands of years later.

[limitless-incorporated]

How They Should Write HotD Season 3: The Blacks

Spoiler Warning! I think it’s very clear that season 3 of House of the Dragon is going to be the make it or break it season. Season 2 did a lot to kill a lot of the good will fostered by season 1 of the show, and from the way it’s looking, season 3 is either going to be the season that at least somewhat repairs said goodwill, or takes it out the back and finishes the job by bludgeoning it with a hammer. So, that’s why I’m coming to share my thoughts on how season 3 should go.

I’ll be making two post, one for the Greens and one for the Blacks, with this one being the black edition. Also, heads up, some of these ideas will be going against the book. I’m trying to stay as close as I can, but I do think changes to the book need and should be made. Let’s be honest, we’re so far off from the books already that I rather they try to make things consistent and compelling in their own narrative then trying to stick to the books. I apologize for the long post, but I have a lot of ideas that I’ve been wanting to share for a while now.

The Half-Year Reign of Queen Rhaenyra

Given Rhaenyra’s role as the de facto protagonist of the show, is the plotline we’re probably going to see the most from, and it’s the one I’m dreading the most. One of the show’s major issues is their active refusal to make Rhaenyra into anything other than a perfect person and ruler. The writer’s have stripped Rhaenyra of nearly all of her defining character traits that aren’t singularly positive, and even when she commits morally dubious acts or straight up evil or cruel acts (like feeding a bunch of innocent people to a dragon on the off chance one of them can tame it), the show bends over backwards to remove any blame from Rhaenyra, usually by completely ignoring or removing any consequences that come from her actions. This mission to turn Rhaenyra into the Virgin Mary has had a lot of destructive consequences, like removing her personal agency within the story and ensuring that her supporting cast are all bland and boring because they refuse to give Rhaenyra a partially negative relationship with anyone.

My fear is that the writer’s are going to try their best to defang Rhaenyra’s storyline in season 3. Rhaenyra’s time on the Iron Throne is structured around how her own flaws cause her own downfall. She fails to win the approval of the smallfolk, leading to an uprising. She lets paranoia control her actions, leading to her alienating her only true allies. However, the show is so dedicated to stripping Rhaenyra of all her faults that I’m afraid that they are going to take away these elements from season 3’s story. Once again, Rhaenyra will be stripped of her agency and spend the whole season walking around doing nothing while surrounded by mannequins who aren’t allowed to be interesting and complex characters lest they disturb the undying monument that is the cult of Saint Rhaenyra the Queen Who Ever Was and her harem of loyal simps. Now I will say, this is a delicate storyline for the show to handle. Again, the show’s whitewashing has done a lot of damage to Rhaenyra, as her entire arc about descending into being a tyrant doesn’t really work if she doesn’t have those traits to start with. We’ll have Dany in season 8 all over again, only Dany at least had some set up to her eventual sudden descent. There’s an easy way to fuck a storyline like this up, especially at this point, so here’s how I’d do it.

The crux of Rhaenyra’s arc in season 3 should be her growing god complex, and how her pride and blind faith in prophecy ends up leading to her downfall. We saw shades of this during the Red Sowing, but while the following episode didn’t really highlight the negative aspects of Rhaenyra’s behavior, season 3 would. The trigger point for all of this would come early on with two events: the disappearance of Viserys II, and the death of Jace during the Battle of the Gullet. In a relatively short span of time, Rhaenyra would be faced with the deaths of two of her sons, only this time, her grief isn’t skimmed over in one episode then forgotten like in season 2. Instead, Rhaenyra, mourning the deaths of her children, starts blaming others for failing to protect her sons, namely her council and Rhaena. Focusing on Rhaena for a second, I’m definitely in the minority for this, but I don’t mind the fact they cut Nettles. I do think that they can pull off a similar role that Nettles played with Rhaena, so long as they capitalize on what was set up in season 2. Remember, when Nettles ran off to claim Sheepstealer, she ended up abandoning the job Rhaenyra gave her, which was to care for Aegon III and Viserys II. And if Rhaena comes back early enough to fight in the Gullet, then Rhaenyra has grounds to blame her for these two incidents.

Of course, Rhaenyra would not be justified in her newfound anger towards Rhaena, and this would led to the character conflicts that Team Black desperately needs. Baela would, of course, try to defend her sister from Rhaenyra’s ire, along with Corlys who still cares for this two granddaughters, which would lead to a wedge forming between Rhaenyra and the Velaryons (Rhaenyra would also blame Corlys for Jace’s death). Daemon is also caught in this familial conflict, and I’d have his arc in season 3 be about him struggling between supporting his family and his newfound loyalty towards Rhaenyra. Throughout the show, Daemon has continuously failed to be there when his family needed him. He failed his brother, he failed his wife (Laena), he failed his other wife (Rhaenyra), and he failed his daughters. Daemon has a pattern of not being there to support his family when they need him, so his arc in season 3 would be him getting caught up between supporting his daughters, or sticking with Rhaenyra, who he now knows holds some kind of key to power against the threat to the north.

But, at the same time, other figures would be trying to gain Rhaenyra’s favor. Throughout this time, Addam tries his best to remain loyal to Rhaenyra, both for her sake because he’s a good guy, and his own, as his newfound position as a knight and proper Velaryon is tied to Rhaenyra’s rule. Then there’s Mysaria, who should 100% be manipulating Rhaenyra for her own ends. I’m saying this mostly because, as it stands, Mysaria has no character of her own. Mysaria was a secondary character who, at the very least, was defined by her care for the smallfolk and her desire for better rights for other peasants. Then in season 2, her values go out the window and Mysaria transforms into another Rhaenyra acolyte who is down with whatever her queen tells her even when it ends up killing dozens of innocent smallfolk. So, to bring some consistency into Mysaria’s character, I’d make it clear that Mysaria is trying to gain Rhaenyra’s favor in order to gain more power for herself. Mysaria would not only isolate Rhaenyra from others, but also feed her ego and her newfound savior complex. It’s with Mysaria’s influence that Rhaenyra makes more rash decisions, and importantly, she never backs down or admits she’s in the wrong, as she starts believing that she cannot do wrong.

Like in season 2, Rhaenyra clashes with her council, only this time, she starts taking more power into her own hands, typically with poor results. To start off, when it turns out that they’re broke, Rhaenyra demands Lord Celtigar employ harsh taxes to build up their resources. Given the fact that these taxes are hitting the people immediately after a famine, her policies quickly become unpopular and the people slowly turn on her. This also serves to alienate Hugh and Ulf from her cause. Hugh and Ulf, or at least Hugh, wouldn’t be comfortable watching their people starve, and Rhaenyra’s continued abuse of her power at the cost of the smallfolk would serve to alienate them from her. Rhaenyra, however, doesn’t back down. Instead, Rhaenyra looks to the war in the Reach, where all their resources are heading, and blames her council for not beating Daeron quickly enough and waisting what little they have. After this, Rhaenyra takes matters into her own hands and starts directly managing the war effort instead of Corlys or Daemon, which ends up horribly. As she herself explained in season 2, Rhaenyra has no experience in battle or tactics, so her decision making ends up costing them heavy losses against the Greens. But again, Rhaenyra doesn’t back down, and refuses to admit her wrongs. Rhaenyra continuously refuses to accept any kind of armistice of peace deal, refusing to pardon her brothers or partition the kingdom as Alicent suggests. Not only is Rhaenyra convinced that fate and the gods are on her side, but also that she’s lost too much to accept anything other than absolute victory.

Things come to ahead in the season’s climax. At this point, Hugh and Ulf have already defected, and Mysaria then informs Rhaenyra that the Velaryons are planning to overthrow her, and that they’re attempting to bring Daemon into the plot. This is my replacement for the Nettles and Daemon affair, and I think that a potential Velaryon conspiracy would be much easier to implement in the season, as well as being a good vehicle for some of Team Black, namely Rhaena and especially Baela. Mysaria could also be either partially or entirely lying to Rhaenyra, hoping to drive out the Velaryons to have full control over Rhaenyra, but either way, this is the last straw for Rhaenyra. She orders the arrest of all the so called conspirators, calling for Rhaena, Baela, Corlys, and Addam to be arrested (Daemon being the only one spared as he isn’t directly implicated with the others).. Rhaena and Daemon, who are off in the Riverlands hunting Aemond, get word that Rhaenyra is looking for Rhaena’s head. Daemon then finally puts his family over power and sends Rhaena to safety, before flying off to face Aemond at the God’s Eye. Corlys does the same for Addam and Baela, warning them about Rhaenyra and giving them time to escape with Alyn’s help, before being arrested himself (also finally stepping up as a dad for his sons). We then end the season on Rhaenyra, completely alone in her throne room, her city burning as the smallfolk rise up against her, gripping onto the Iron Throne like her life depends on it.

Tl;Dr: Rhaenyra thinks she’s the best thing since sliced bread because destiny said so, and then proceeds to mess up everything. When I’m done with the Team Green version, I’ll go back and make a link down here.

[stardust-swan]

Moroccan Spells for Beauty and Love ❤️🌹💋

Some of these are still practiced today, while others were practiced 100+ years ago. This post is for entertainment and educational purposes only. Although some spells are suitable for home use, most should not be attempted for both legal and health and safety reasons and are only included for historical interest. Post compiled mainly from Pratiques des Harems Marocains and Essai de Folklore Marocain.

Beauty

🌹Leave an agate stone in rosewater overnight and then pass it through incense smoke. Wear it as jewellery. This increases your natural charm and protects you from envy. To keep it charged, soak it in rosewater under the moonlight on the night of a full moon.

🌹To make your skin beautiful, light a white candle and mix 1 cup rosewater and 1 cup milk in a bowl, slowly stirring together. Add in a handful of rose petals if desired. Stand in the bath and pour over your body starting at the head and working downwards. As you pour, recite an incantation for however you want your skin to look (e.g brighter, smoother, more even, etc). Let it sit on your skin for a few minutes while visualising the skin you want, and then rinse off with warm water. You must let your skin air-dry. Repeat once a week.

🌹Soak 2-3 strands of saffron in warm water for 30 mins, letting it turn golden. Apply to your face and hands and say, "Ya Rab, bless me with beauty like the saffron's gold, radiant and glowing." Leave it to absorb and recite the Qur'an or say Bismallah. Do once a week.

🌹 To have a beautiful voice: eat a nightingale's heart

🌹 To always be beautiful in the eyes of the man you love, repeat the following incantation every morning while washing your face:

I greet you, oh washed face, Favour, charm comes to you Sent by Lalla Fatima, daughter of the Prophet May charm fall on you Like dewdrops fall on broad beans.

🌹 For your child to be born with beautiful eyes, pregnant women should look at a gazelle. Drink a glass of water above the head of the gazelle for your child to be born loveable and kind.

🌹For your child to have thick eyebrows and long eyelashes, put kohl on their eyelashes and eyebrows from their seventh day until their fortieth day. This also helps them see very clearly and never have sore eyes.

🌹To stop hair falling out and make it grow as long as branches, make offerings of candles to the carob tree of Lalla Quadfa and hang your fallen hairs in its branches (to cure headaches and neuralgia, hang amulets and charms written on paper from the tree).

🌹To prevent aging: Pound ginger, cloves, nutmeg from the Sahara, and galangal root. Add oil or honey. Take two spoonfuls every morning and every evening.

🌹 To reduce the size of the breasts (1): Get up early in the morning; rub the breasts with salt, which you then throw into the well. As the salt melts, the breasts will shrink.

🌹To reduce the size of the breasts (2): Strike your chest seven times with the slippers of a young unmarried man.

🌹To increase the size of the breasts: Rub the breasts with beans, which are then thrown into a well, saying:

O beans, when you swell,

They too will swell...

🌹 Invoke the jnun Lalla Malika and Lalla Mira to increase your beauty and charm

Singlehood

🌹A young woman, widow or divorcee who nobody wants to marry should wash her face and hands with the first water that comes out of a newly dug well. She will immediately find someone to marry.

🌹In Rabat, to help find a husband, women visit the hidden marriage well on the beach near the Udayas casbah. Mixing water from the well with rosewater helps to change a woman's luck in finding a husband. You should then light a candle for the djinn, as they can prevent people from getting married. Afterwards, leave old underwear behind for a symbolic change in sexual fortune. There is also a shrine to the local saint Sidi Abouri there, which you may also use as an intermediary through which to ask God to change your luck.

🌹In Marrakech, young girls who do not marry are taken to the tomb of Lalla Oum Biied Saad: Madam the mother of white luck. It is a small wall surrounding a square of land in the district of Assouel, near the zaouia of Sidi Bel Abbès. The young girls comb and wash themselves next to the tomb and throw into this small enclosure their comb, their fallen hair and a piece of cloth torn from their clothes; in addition, they make an offering of light to the saint on Friday. They also go on pilgrimage for the same purpose to Moulay Ibrahim, near Tahannaout. They spend three nights near his tomb and on the third night, the saint makes them see in a dream the face of their future husband.

🌹Remedy against singleness: The girl or woman who wishes to marry will cut, in her chemise, a strip of cloth to her height, from head to toe. She will cut it into seven pieces and will enclose in each a little of the powder of the seven "male spices" pounded together. At night, when no one else passes in the street, she will place the seven strands of cloth in a night light lit on the threshold of her door, and, seven times in a row, she will repeat:

O my husband! Come to my house.

So that she will not be long in being asked to marry.

🌹 Take an old mill rope and burn it on a Friday. At the hour when the muezzin sings, the single woman, in a hurry to get married, passes a little of the ashes of the rope, in the middle of her chin and forehead, saying:

Allah is the greatest!

Celibacy falls...

Someone came to the door. (The husband.)

She repeats this three times, on her terrace, remains standing there until a man of her house, - father or brother, - returns from the mosque, Then she asks him:

Have you prayed?

According to custom, he answers:

We have prayed. Allah will complete.

But, in her soul, she says quietly: It is he who comes who will complete... And she goes to wash her face.

🌹 Write a talisman wishing for a soulmate, and hide it in the foliage of an olive or argan tree.

🌹 Special ink for written love spells: Gently warm rosewater and pour it over a few saffron threads. Strain and add the liquid to existing ink or mix up your own with alcohol and gum arabica.

🌹Light a candle, mixing henna and rosewater in a bowl. Think of your lover or the person you want to attract. Using a thin stick, brush or other applicator, write their name on your body with the henna, and other symbols of love like their initials, hearts or roses. As you apply it, recite incantations for their love and loyalty to be bound to you. As it dries, think about your desires and the special someone. When it dries and begins to crack, gently wash it off, visualising your intentions being released into the universe. Do this ritual on a new moon for the effect to be strongest.

🌹 Write the name of the person who you want to attract on a piece of paper. Alongside it, write either the Surah Al-Fatiha or Surah Ya-sin. Fold it and place it in a glass of water, reciting the chosen Qur'anic verse seven times, thinking about your intention to draw love or strengthen your relationship. Leave the glass in a quiet, safe place overnight, and drink the water in the glass in the morning. Repeat every Thursday.

🌹To get married: take a dead white dove fledgling, wheat grains, barley and flour. Recite prayers over the ingredients and meditate. Wrap the ingredients in a small white cloth or white towel and bury the next day. You will begin to get proposals.

🌹 To split a couple: take a black powder such as charcoal dust, burned incense ashes, or sulfur, a root, and turquoise or green tourmaline broken into pieces. Place the powder and root into a fireproof bowl and light the ingredients. Read the Surah Al Fatifa in reverse. As the smoke carries through the air, imagine the couple breaking apart. After you finish burning them, bury them near their home or in a location significant to the couple or scatter them somewhere they're sure to pass, like their front door. Bury the turquoise too, crushing into powder if you want, or else put them in a small pouch and hide in their home. Repeat twice, "I am [your name]... Within this spell lies the power of [the name of the one you desire]." Do this on a Tuesday or when the moon is waning. Invoke Aisha Qandisha if you are a follower of her. Burn incense to cleanse negative energy afterwards, and perform a protective spell before. Use salt or burn rue to ward off negative energy.

Brides, weddings and marriage

🌹 To give the appearance of virginity to a bride deflorated before her wedding: Pound gallnuts, alum and the "mouth of a pomegranate". The matron sprinkles it on the bride, where appropriate. This remedy only works if she is still very young. For those who are nubile, there is no remedy.

🌹In order that the husband may always be in love, an amulet is made with seven dates, seven leaves of seven fruit trees and basil and sewn into a mattress. This will also bring abundance into the house. It is for the same reason that dates are thrown on the bride as she crosses the threshold of the wedding house. She is offered milk and her right heel is washed with it so that she may enter with wealth and abundance. Honey is put in her mouth so that she may be sweet to her husband. Yeast is put in her hand so that the good of her husband may prosper and increase.

🌹If on the first night of marriage, a taïmouma or black stone used for prayer and replacing the water of ritual ablutions is placed under the mattress of the bride and groom, their fate is linked to that of this stone, so that union will reign in the household, as long as the stone is whole.

🌹 Marriages must be consummated with the lights on, as the lights are a symbol of love and a happy life. The candles must not be extinguished; they are left to burn until the end so that the bride is always before her husband like a dazzling light.

🌹The visit of a sex worker to a young bride is a good omen; it means she will be loved. She must have her makeup, perfume and henna applied by the sex worker, for she has between her eyebrows seven magic flowers that affect love.

🌹 Autumn is the best time to get married, as due to her baraka (blessings), the bride will participate in the prosperity of the country by increasing the abundance of the harvest. The best day for consummating a marriage is Thursday; Sunday is also auspicious. The other days are all harmful and one only gets married on Thursdays and Sundays.

🌹 For the husband to remain faithful to his wife: When her husband is asleep, the wife places a lock of green silk on his lips. The next day, she has this lock buried in an old tomb of an unknown person.

🌹 Fidelity potion: Add a few drops of your urine to your lover's tea. Moroccan tea is typically made with large quantities of sugar and mint, easily disguising the few drops of urine that will ensure loyalty and docility. Just double check who gets which cup...

🌹To brink love back into a marriage, take pure musk, frankincense, mastic, sandarac, dragon's blood, myrrh of Abraham, incense, a dead hedgehog, a few bundles of feathers from a magpie or small bird of prey tied together with ribbon, and fenugreek seeds. Grind the resins and mix them together. Mix some of the fenugreek seeds into the mixture, saving some. Light the incense and wave the feathers through the smoke. Then wave the feathers over the other ingredients. Bury the hedgehog in front of the house or in the garden, as this defends the home from negative forces. Use the feathers to sprinkle the resin mixture around the home, in key areas like the doorway, near the bed, and on personal items belonging to your lover or that relate to your marriage (like wedding rings and photos). Anoint yourself with the musk (if desired you can also save some of the resin mixture to anoint yourself with too), and cook the fenugreek seeds in a meal you and your husband will eat. While you do this ritual, state your intention to remove blockages causing problems in the marriage, heal the relationship and bring love back to it. If you are a devotee of Lalla Mira you may invoke her.

🌹Moonfoam is highly prized in Moroccan witchcraft. As well as ensuring the fidelity of a husband or lover, it instills mad passion for whoever uses it, cures and prevents impotence, and repairs both male and female fertility. To make it, you must approach the cemetery gates on a new moon, strip naked, fill a basin or pitcher with water and place it under the moonlight, and mount an oleander branch, "galloping" around the cemetery seven times while chanting a special incantation (this incantation is a well kept secret, so you must either find an old wise witch to apprentice yourself to, or improvise). If you do this correctly, you will have attracted the attention of the moon's lunar guardians, and as you make your seventh circle around the cemetery, a lunar spirit will manifest and ask you to reveal your desire. You must tell her you want moonfoam. You will have to negotiate with her and make various offers, as she will be reluctant to give it to you. If you are successful, the moon will literally drop down into your water. Eventually the water will contain visible silver foam. Strain it off carefully, like oil from water or scum from soup. Take it home and reserve for future use.

🌹 To find or maintain true love, fill a small bag with earth from a three-way crossroads and wear it around your neck. This also wards off the evil eye.

🌹Love refreshing recipe, for a troubled relationship: take 6 red candles, rosemary, anise seeds, rosewater, black twine, a lump of rock salt and a nail. Place the candles in a circle in pairs in the bedroom, near the bed or a photo of the couple, with the rock salt in a bowl in the middle. Light the candles and state your intention for your love to be rekindled. Let the candles burn down as you sprinkle the herbs under the bed and near the doorway of the house. Sprinkle some rosewater on the bed linens. Use the twine to tie a knot around something that represents the couple like a photo, or to bind some objects belonging to each person together, and keep it somewhere safe like a bedside drawer. Drive the nail into the ground outside the doorway. Dissolve the rock salt in water and sprinkle it around the house to purify it.

🌹To bring back a cheating spouse, collect some of his clothes or semen and give them to a witch doctor (unfortunately there was no more information than this in my source, I would have liked to have found out what steps the witch doctor would take after receiving the artifacts)

🌹 Khamsa for love protection: Light frankincense incense and let the smell fill up the room, as this clears negative energy and wards off the evil eye. Take a small piece of paper, writing down the name of your partner or desired partner, along with a simple wish to protected, such as "bound by love, protected from harm." Fold the paper and wrap with a red ribbon. Take a khamsa charm (hand of Fatima) and pass it through the incense smoke three times, reciting an intention for love and protection. Place the paper in a hidden place somewhere close to you and your partner. Wear the khamsa or keep it in your home attached to the paper to protect your relationship. If you feel your relationship is in danger in the future, light the incense again and pass the khamsa through the smoke while reciting an incantation.

🌹To make your husband docile: Go to the cemetery at night, dig up a recently buried corpse, sit it on your knees and, taking its hands, make it knead a loaf of bread. As soon as the husband has eaten this bread, he will become, in his wife's arms, as docile as the dead.

Getting over heartbreak

🌹To forget an ex-boyfriend, wear trinkets and wear a skirt that allows smoke to flow up it (awakening sexual energy), then tap your ex on the shoulder. After you run away from him, wash with water that has been blessed or collected from a sacred site, and anoint yourself with copal resin. You will find a new man soon, which will help you forget the old one fast.

🌹Mix soil with saffron and rub it over your heart or third eye to unclog them from bad relationships.

🌹 Take wheat dust from the grinding of wheat, mix it with water and divide into two parts. Take care not to spill any; if you do you must find new wheat dust. Use one half to clean your house and dispose of it; take a bath with the other half. After the bath, bring a bouquet of fresh herbs and place in the middle of the house as an offering. This breaks curses, enchantments, and toxic relationships.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 4

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

When I returned to the room (and it is still strange to me) I found Jay sleeping blissfully. I didn't wake him up, but watching his absorbed expression I had my doubts he would have noticed me anyway if I had tried.

I didn't manage to get to sleep until six o'clock I think, when I heard him get up and make some noise, especially after he left the room, and I heard the others as well. Of course I could never sleep, despite I was so tired, I didn't even think about the fact that they will see me with my face caked with sleep, the repulsive me, from now on.

However, when I no longer hear them, I fall asleep in a second.

I wake up at 12 regenerated, the house is empty and silent. As I get myself settled, I call out to Ester.

"Oh god, oh god, who did you fuck?" She shouts.

I burst out laughing; it's the first thing she says to me. "Jay."

She screams even louder, I have to plug the phone speakers. "Bitch, him?!"

"Yes…. and is gigantic. Mastodontic."

She doesn't stop screaming, I wonder if she is in public or at home, considering she works in a korean advertising office. "Please, you have to invite me."

"Of course, I just have to find the right time. For now I think everyone hates me, those who don't hate me are scared or disgusted."

"Those who despise buy."

"You think so?" I giggle nervously.

"What envy… Jay, you damn bitch."

That's right, I hadn't thought of that. Since she's so crazy about Bangtan and hopelessly, sincerely, madly in love with Jongkook, I didn't calculate that she has bias in Enhypen anyway, and between the two is Jay. She shares a preference with a more obvious Jake, but she likes them both very much.

"What are they like?"

"I I don't know, they seem arrogant, more or less."

"Even Jay?"

"He … he's peculiar, I guess."

"In what way?!" He shouts again.

"I can't describe them to you yet…" I stall, undecided sincerely about what to say.

"Arrogant, huh? I didn't imagine anything different, but… like how did they take it? What did they say to you?"

"They were kind, more or less, except for Sunghoon. Oh, and I think Heeseung. I don't really understand him. Anyway, they could all be facades, I have that impression."

"You have to investigate."

"I must, you're right."

We laugh in unison, but in the meantime I think I should start with the cleaning today. I'll do four rooms, as planned, anyway I haven't even received warnings about what to touch or not to touch, but at least the bed I can do.

"So… exactly what do you do?"

"I guess scullery maid, however, the pay is worth the candle."

We laugh again.

Ester, however, has the 1 p.m. shift and still has to settle in, so we hang up with a promise to catch up soon. She tells me to contact her if anything happens, and it's like a warm breath her thoughtfulness makes me feel much less alone.

I'll start at Jay's, so I can get my things in better order as well, but mostly because I don't know whose other rooms are whose, I'll have to go blind, I wasn't sober enough to observe who was coming back where, yesterday.

Not that it changes anything, since I have to do them all, however having used the first round for acquaintances, three of them will be behind for the first five days, so maybe I should do them all.

It would make sense, I could gain some confidence, although I shouldn't yearn for anything like that.

Whatever, let's get on with it. I tie up my hair, put on a low-cut top, baggy shorts and socks to slide better on the hardwood floor, I have to be comfortable, the summer period has just begun and although it's not really hot, yet, the house is so hot.

Jongseong's room is strange, I can't say it's tidy but his closet is a hell swarming with expensive stuff. There is a kind of chaotic orderliness to it all, except for the closet, which was more harmonious before I made room, though.

I didn't bring a lot of things, so I manage to make good use of the generous space he offered to me. Now, the room looks a lot cooler, I moved the curtains and a lot of light comes in.

Let's go with the next one, let's see, I'll pick at random.

Hmm, it's a…normal room. There doesn't seem to be anything to do, everything is already in order. I don't indulge my curiosity in wanting to find out who it belongs to, partly because I also tried not to go through Jay's things, that would be inconsistent.

It is strange, though, why is it so anonymous? It is said that the environment where one lives reflects the soul, but the soul in question is not just neat, it is just ordinary, just looking around I can see that there is the bare minimum, not a photo, not a memento. Jay has several fan gifts, in the room, and he also has photos of his family, there is nothing here.

I go outside, that's okay, I won't go any further. I don't care, anyway. Seriously. I really mean it.

The room next door I recognize instead, and it's quite nice. Nicely furnished, even tidy all things considered, to the point where I just give it a quick tidy up to finish.

Around me are a few, not too many, but several Lego models. As I get closer to look at them I realize that these are some very rare pieces, not because I understand any of them, I knew someone who liked them very much, he showed them to me, something remained.

His order is pleasant, because is real. His various gadgets are arranged randomly, but there is something extremely elegant about the composition.

When I'm done with the third one which is Jake's room as I suspected but mostly because he has several, many photos of himself (not alone, but the ones in which he looked very good), one more to go, I realize it's already 3 p.m. (I took my time), maybe they won't be back for lunch? I don't even have their numbers yet, I guess, because I'm not sure I'll ever get them anyway.

Whatever, since I'm almost done, why not give myself a break? I'll untie my hair, turn on the TV, listen to some music - not theirs…right? Yes, that would be pathetic, so I'll put on someone I like musically almost as much as I do: TXT.

How cool, I find out they have all the subscriptions they can get, must be great to be rich, huh? Curious that I think that because of the amount of streaming services accessible and not because of the huge penthouse I'm in.

All right, the music is there, I've had the juice, I'll re-bind my hair. I'll also do the cooking, I'm feeling generous, since it's all new and strange I'll try to show myself useful so they won't break my balls!

No, maybe I'm not in the right position? I don't get it, what a mess. Whatever, let's dance and not think about it.

I go into the fourth room, oh, this one is nicer, but it's actually messy. There's a keyboard, I have an idea who the owner might be, should I set it on fire? No, we're not really enemies yet, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

One of my favorite songs, Fawerell Neverland, has started, I can't help but sing it with them. Meanwhile I pick up some empty ramen packs, some clothes left haphazardly on the floor, some cans, until I notice something I should have expected?

There are boxers. If they are at the foot of the bed, it means they are used. Honestly, Jay didn't leave anything like that lying around, what manners are they when you already know I'm probably going to come over and clean up at your place?

So, what do I do? Do I pick them up or do I leave them in protest? And why am I curious? But then curious about what? All right, I leave them where they are and resume singing.

Heeseung, are you my second enemy? At least you should have the decency to declare it.

"NEVERLAND MY LOVE!" I shout at the top of my lungs, noticing soon after that the bedside drawer is slightly open and I can make out a girl's face, in a picture.

"Do you listen to other people's songs? Weren't you an engene?"

I swear, I jump in the air. I completely failed to notice that he was standing in the doorway, at this point who knows how long.

Who is that girl? It shouldn't concern me, much less interest me.

"Can't I listen to anyone else?" I answer, trying to maintain a calm tone of voice, but I literally defecated on myself.

"Of course not."

"Of course you're strange - I sigh - and anyway, don't leave your dirty underwear lying around. At least you take that off."

"I was hoping you'd steal it from me. It would be in theme with your character, wouldn't it?"

"You're disgusting in person." I say that, though, why don't I think it? He almost snatched a laugh from me, lucky I remembered in time that I have dignity.

I continue to make his stupid bed, so I will have finished my ordinary duties anyway. Does that mean everyone is back? Why do I feel like seeing Jay? It's Heeseung's fault, it's like he's the cheerful version of Sunghoon, isn't it?

He's a jerk but he does it in a nice way? Cute? Charming? Laughing like that? Damn.

I see him turn to the other side of his twin bed, looking at me but I just can't hold eye contact. I lower my eyes and see he's clutching the other end of the sheet, helping me make the bed, I guess he wants me to leave his room.

"I'm not disgusting, am I? You don't mean that." He chuckles, adjusting the pillows for me.

"Yes I do, the biggest disappointment."

He looks at me again, why did he become serious for a second? Did I imagine that? "Disappointment? Is that a hint?"

I blush, a lot, feeling my cheeks flaming. "A hint about what? When I talk to you, I feel like I'm talking to a mentally ill."

"How is your korean so good?" Change the subject again, is that a peculiarity or something?

"I had a very good teacher."

"Oh yeah? And was this person born in Korea?"

"No, she is italian like me."

"Interesting."

I'm curious. We talk a lot fast, it's a constant back-and-forth, we sound like two old friends bickering, but something is different, it's clear. Even though I can talk to him, I feel discombobulated like I'm inside a shaker in action.

"Ah, you were here." I feel like I'm being called by someone.

Turning around, in the doorway of Heeseung's room, this time it's Jake. Was he looking for me? "Me?"

"Yes, you have to be with me today, right?"

in the romance untold album i found this card and the one from heeseung…. i'm so glad

Ah, so that's how it works? I laugh.

He's so handsome, my eye retinas burned during that measly second when I dared to lift my eyelids to him - mine, it was a nervous laugh.

"And how would you prefer me to welcome you? In the traditional korean way? Or something more affectionate?" I drawl, dying inside, my eyes wandering lost across the floor.

"Why not both while wearing a maid's dress?"

"Is that a good idea, I order it?" Heeseung asks.

"Think for yourself about how you want to be greeted, that's my idea."

"What if I had exactly the same idea?"

"Simple, you would be the second."

Heeseung utters a dramatic verse, touching his heart and fingers tighten on his…chest…his chest wrapped in the white t-shirt he wears, which is not exactly loose.

I cough, I think they have forgotten my presence. "I'm not a cosplayer. Apply to the agency next time."

Then the ace of the band, so called not only by the fans, and not for trivial reasons but on the contrary for his undeserved enormous talent in practically anything he does, singing, dancing, being stupidly handsome, bursts out laughing.

He's… I just don't know how to describe it. If there's anything I really have a soft spot for it's his laughter, his smile, of any kind, and seeing him up close, taking advantage of the moments when I'm sure he's looking away to watch, offers me an indescribable feeling.

"Good thing she's nice." He says, turning to Jake.

He is confused, I can see it, sense it. He looks at us tenderly, I feel like biting his face off, I quickly look away terrified by my intrusive thoughts, if I look at him, I really want to.

Then he walks over, grabs my wrist and smiles. "Let's go now."

"Where are we going?"

"I have a lot of things to ask you." He explains, pulling me gently.

Him? He is the one who should ask me?

Forgive me Ester, you've always had excellent taste. I can't deny it.

I follow him, asking no questions. As I pass through the hallway I realize that everyone, or almost everyone, has returned, certainly Jay, Jungwon and Niki. The first looks at me, while Jake drags me by the wrist, says nothing, and I get a strange feeling.

It's strange, isn't it? He didn't even say hello to me.

No, maybe I should be the one to do that? And isn't it that I might annoy Jake? He referred to spending time together as something exclusive, so should I pretend that others don't exist? There is something paradoxical about this situation.

"Did you find disorder? I'm sorry." He says, looking around and turning his warm, sensual smile on me. I'm afraid he's playing it off with Heeseung at this point that I see him live.

He's not really embarrassed, but he wants to look embarrassed.

"No, your room is the best so far." I reply under my breath.

"Which ones have you done so far? There's one neater than mine."

"Ah, so I found it! Whose is it?"

"Sunghoon's."

Ah.

Jaeyun, his korean name, sits on the bed, looks at me and smiles like a fool. I don't know, does he want to do it right away? Is that what he wants to ask me? I am uncomfortable, but not with the assumption of such a proposal, so much as because I am not yet used to handling all these hormones.

Jake is wearing a sweater with a wide neckline, I can see his gorgeous collarbones, moreover, he has his tongue stuck between his lips as he watches me.

Come on, I'm not that beautiful, he's blatantly faking it, but I'm not, I'm devastated by this sight.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I don't like Sunghoon, I'm glad he's doing it alone for his room."

"Just as well, he's not a good person." She accentuates his beautiful smile for some reason, then lays down emitting a tired breath.

"I've noticed … but do we think so for the same reason?"

"Of course not." He answers quickly, getting back up.

How strange, he became energetic all of a sudden. I've already sensed strange vibes between Jake and Riki, now with Sunghoon too? Jay's argument is becoming more and more credible, but why is Jake always in the middle?

"Aren't you going to ask me why?"

"Would you tell me?"

He allows himself a sexy laugh, to say the least, because any other adjective would be unheard-of vulgarity. "You're also smart then."

"I try."

While Jake takes a moment to respond to messages, I start walking around looking at his legos again, honestly not sure what to do.

"What is it you want to ask me?"

"Who's your bias?"

What? Him too? Egocentric these Enhypen.

"I don't have it."

"Liar!" He playfully accuses me, pointing at me.

How can such a sweet guy also be so damn erotic? I can't even breathe properly in his presence.

"I really don't."

"So…who do you think is the most handsome?"

Damn! He's too cute! I cover my mouth to avoid showing him my perverted smirk, then cough. "You're all equally handsome."

"It's just not me, is it? That's why you don't tell me."

It's exactly the opposite thesis from Heeseung's, convinced that it's him. Does this tell me anything? Possibly, but I am too enamored with my interlocutor to reason.

"What do you need to know, then…" I giggle, softly, almost hoping he doesn't hear me.

"Has anyone else asked you?"

I laugh again, more nervously. "Never mind, is that what you wanted to ask me?"

"I like to have confirmation of things I'm curious about."

I think that's the basis, Jake, but I don't want to contradict you because you're too handsome, honestly.

"I'm the most handsome, aren't I?"

Aha, identified: narcissistic, maybe pathological?

"You have millions of fans who are crazy about you, what do you care if you are to me?"

"Then it's not really me!"

Was he testing me in his own way? I have no idea but it's cute. Even the pouty, offended expression he gives me now is to bite, tear up, devour.

Thoughts too intrusive, fantasies too lucid.

"Even if I thought that, I wouldn't tell you." I admit, covering my mouth again before laughing this time for real.

"What? - He asks, his vowels are open, his tone childlike but teasing. - And why?"

"It's…quite a sight, seeing you like this."

He smiles, his gaze thinned, and why? "Like what?"

What's wrong with me? I feel like… make him mine, in a way.

"So desperate."

"Me? - He asks theatrically outraged. - Me desperate?"

"Don't you desperately want to be the most beautiful, for me?"

What am I saying? And with what courage? Who is this person? I usually go unnoticed, and not because I'm unattractive so much as because I can't sell myself very well, which is why I'm surprised to see myself in this state.

It's called the Jake effect, I don't think there is a cure.

"Do you want to see me even more desperate?" His voice is no longer innocent, neither is his gaze. A shiver runs through every single inch of my body, so strong it leaves me shaken.

Suddently someone open the door, it seems a habit to appear in this house.

"What are you doing?"

Jake glares at him, I couldn't even think of doing that. "What?"

"Let's decide what to eat." Riki replies, annoyed by his sour tone.

"Have you eaten?" Jaeyun then asks, I think to me, no yes, of course to me!

I nod nervously. I don't even know if I'm breathing right now.

"What did you eat? Everything looks the same in the kitchen. Look you don't have to order-"

"You ordered?!" Jake takes it personally.

"I didn't actually eat, I don't know why I said yes." I explain, guessing that instead of my face they are seeing a big bell pepper.

"Why didn't you eat?"

"Is it because of what Heeseung said?" Niki asks, and I don't understand.

He has been quiet and reserved from the first moment, but he wants me to believe that he is worried about me? Come on, I'm a woman of a certain age compared to him, right? I'm not naive, I keep saying that, right?

"No, no." I belittle it with a ridiculous noise coming from my nose.

"Come on, you've been cleaning all day! I'm hungry too."

Jake can't talk anymore, what's wrong with him? Why does he keep staring at Niki? Am I like the third wheel or…?

I don't know how many seconds pass before, in the tomb-like silence that has set in, the major gets up, looks at Niki again, mumbles in an absolutely adorable way, then lightly and amicably nudges him so that he can get out of his room.

"Come on, get out, get out. Let's go eat." He tells me in a way that is much more serious than his expression.

Man, I'm curious now. Very curious indeed.

NEXT CHAPTER:

hello, this is the first time i've left a note…i just wanted to apologize for this bad english and for the mistakes you've surely found - i hope you can continue reading the story because i had a lot of fun writing it (ten chapters are ready but i have to translate them ç_ç)

[new-tella-us]

Me- Brain, it’s late. Let’s go to bed.

Brain- Okay but let’s listen to oooooone last song.

Me- Fine…

(Listens to the one song that would make my brain go “What if King Erik?”)

I swear to y’all, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

Erik wasn’t supposed to get a mildly good king ending. This is probably not canon to my universe… probably. But I’ll at least let the brainrot do its thing.

And I’m gunna be talking about this like a tired, rambling historian for the vibes.

SO, the golden era is dead. At this point of history, the last royals of the golden era, Raestrao and Istorae are nowhere to be found so it’s time for a new era to begin starting with the second son of the late Demon Lord, Uzaeris. This era is often called the “Ruby Era” or the “Animal Uprising” depending on who you’re talking to. For the sake of respect, we will be calling it the “Ruby Era”.

A lot of people didn’t like this change at the time for 3 major reasons. 1) Some people didn’t want any of the Demon Lord’s sons on the throne and instead wanted the Rebel Queen, Ezaeur but… she hasn’t been seen either. Most people assumed she was killed in the war. 2) Many still wanted Istorae’s line to continue and the golden era to resurface but that ain’t happening. 3) Racism. Aka some people didn’t like that Uzaeris, a part animal demon, was going to be their king. Too bad for them though because he’s turning out to be a very powerful and pretty good king all things considered.

Most in his alliance would report him as charming and likable. The trade deals he made were as fair as they could be while still benefiting his kingdom, leaving a long line of improvements in agriculture that affect even the modern day. He’s managed to unite many kingdoms over his reign with just diplomacy. And over all, if you can get over the previous three reasons not to like him, you’ll find that he was generally cool to be around. However, a diplomat he was but a pushover he was not. Over the years there have been a few rebellions from those three reasons plus some people who didn’t feel like they were being benefited enough but every rebellion was lost and pretty swiftly too. Every rebellion ended in one of three ways: imprisonment, banishment or execution. Of course, being a diplomat, Uzaeris was known for using the former two far more than any ruler before him which only strengthened his reputation as a strict but fair king.

Now, let’s talk about the lovely lady clinging to his shoulder. As a human in the Demon World, she stood out from the start. She has no official name (only really being called “Human” by most and “Princess” by the king), age (though we can assume she was around the king’s age. Maybe slightly younger) or place of origin and some even suspect that she’s not fully human; she only started appearing in the records around when Uzaeris became king. Some relate the correlation between the time the four princes disappeared for 10 years with the time she started appearing in records and wonder if there was any reason for that correlation though nothing is set in stone.

If you tried to research what role this girl played during the Ruby Era, you would get a word that could vaguely be translated into either “Harem Girl” or “Courtesan” neither being fully accurate. It would be more accurate to call her a harem girl, she was really only for the king after all; though records show that she was far higher in the social ranks than most harem girls at the time, hence the confusion with the word “Courtesan”. Even so, she wasn’t treated like a harem girl. Most paintings and records depict the relationship between the king and this girl as loving equals rather than the massive power imbalance that should have been there instead. A common theory is that these two were lovers but, for safety reasons, she was called a harem girl. Most people at the time wouldn’t accept a human queen after all. Though, once again, nothing is set in stone.

Truly these two were an elusive pair, seemingly popping out of nowhere and eventually; when a new ruler was settled and decided, they disappeared back into nowhere.

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: Akatsuki/missing-nin

Okay, so I actually love the akatsuki so much. They were genuinely such good characters with really interesting storylines and powers. The whole akatsuki arc/repression was quite rushed imo and many of the wins from the fights felt a little unwarranted, but that's not too unusual in Naruto...

Anyway, this list is set to include fics where Sakura is either in the akatsuki or akatsuki members (excluding itachi bc that's literally any non-mass) play a large role in the story or Sakura just somehow lands herself being a missing-nin. From my experience, it's hard to find fics of this type without it being some sort of harem, which is not what I'm interested in, so here are some that I recommend!

Started: 2024.09.28

Last Updated: 2024.09.30

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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Vertigo - Cynchick || ffn || M || deisaku || akatsuki AU || complete

Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

I made this list literally just so I could recommend this fic lmao. Sakura takes on the mission to infiltrate the akatsuki, ruining her reputation and destroying her friendships in the process. Due to a brief encounter she had with Deidara, Sakura is allowed into the ranks and joins as his new partner. Their relationship is actually quite sweet and I think it's interesting to see things from Deidara's perspective as although he was very explosive (haha) in Naruto, he is also quite intelligent and a very capable shinobi.

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Ankle Biter - a_pastel_edgelord || ao3 || E || gen || missing-nin AU || ongoing

“Pinkie, attack.” Sakura's teeth tear through skin and tendons until they meet. Her mouth fills with blood but she doesn't let go. The screaming of her victim washes over her like water. “Sorry about her.” Haku shrugs. “She's always been a bit feral.” The only family Sakura has are Zabuza and Haku.

Sakura is just another orphan picked up by Zabuza. With him and Haku being all she has, it results in her dependance and desperation to prove herself to them, but now that they're in wave it opens her eyes to something new. I really like how the relationship they have is portrayed as even though they are her family, it is obvious that Zabuza isn't as hung up on the matter, which feels quite realistic to his character.

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New Day Dawning - IncompleteSentanc (Erava) || ao3 || narusaku || T || canon divergence || complete

One day, while visiting the grave of Nohara Rin, Obito stumbles across a young girl terrifyingly like her. He decides to ensure she doesn’t meet the same fate.As for Sakura? Sakura had no idea what she was awakening the day she went to visit her parents graves - but she never looked back. One way or another.(Feat. Sakura raised by Obito and the Akatsuki, and her eventual return to Konoha and all those she left behind)

Sakura is brainwashed and manipulated, but loved by notorious killers nonetheless. Incredibly well written and I won't lie when I say that the ending took me a bit by surprise. Just read it

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One Change in the Story - Aingeal98 || ffn || T || gen || time travel AU || incomplete

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was only supposed to go back five minutes in time. Instead, Sakura wakes up in a dark room surrounded by people wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. The worst part? She doesn't have a clue who she is.

Praying for One Change in the Story to be completed!! Sakura lands herself back in time with the mind and body of her four year old self. With Pein being the first one to find her, Sakura's new life purpose is to be the Akatsuki's weapon. Sakura slowly loses herself to her new roll and in a sense becomes the embodiment of a ROOT agent. It was interesting to see Itachi's internal battle with the situation and Konan's guilt. However, even with Sakura bound to Ame, there are children back in Konoha who have an itch that a pink-haired girl named Sakura is someone important.

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Old Man by the Bar - Varmint || ao3 || T || gen || academy AU || complete

All it took was one school teacher's decision for the reality of Konoha to be altered in a way that no one could have imagined. Follow Kiba Inuzuka, Sakura Haruno, and Chouji Akimichi as they grow as individuals, friends, and ninja. All with the help of that grumpy old man with all of the cool war stories.

AHHHH READ THIS!!! For some reason I thought this fic was a school AU for the longest time and only got around to reading it recently and I'm so glad I did. It's set back in the academy where Sakura, Choji, and Kiba get grouped together for a project on the shinobi wars. The three misfits end up encountering Kakuzu who tells them a tale of his time fighting. They have so much character development and although they weren't originally happy about their predicament, they grow to look past each other's fronts and form a close bond.

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Expedient - SwiftKick || ffn || T || canon AU || complete

Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing.

Sakura gets sent on an exchange to train in Iwa just to find out her sensei is only a few years older and a bit obsessed with his explosive art... It's interesting to see how she struggles both in Iwa and back in Konoha as Sakura is as good as an outsider in both villages. Expedient is an all time favorite of mine and I didn't have high expectations going into it, but this fic is truly great. Deidara is such a fun character and I really enjoyed Sakura's growth.

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Stumble - writer168 || ao3/ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || complete

Sakura wanted to die.Sasori was fine with staying dead.But it seemed fate had other plans for them, because when they both wake up younger with blood pulsing through their veins, they had to remember how to live again.Time Travel AU

Sasori and Sakura are both sent back in time and they try to make a difference in their respective villages. Told in the perspective of both characters, but primarily Sakura. She ends up forming a pretty sweet bond with Ibiki and Genma (which I love) and they help her through some things. Sakura has a rough time

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Will of Fire - Cynchick || ffn || M || kakasaku || missing-nin AU || complete

Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past. KakaSaku

When Danzo overthrows konoha, shinobi fled in hopes of escaping their death and the cruel reign. Sakura and many others go into hiding as missing-nin and plan on how they will reclaim their village. I love this author, and they actually have many fics that would fit on this list, but trust me when I say the writing is truly great. Sakura grows a lot as a shinobi and broadens her fighting style out of desperation for survival and I love it. The characters are all really well done, so just give it a go!

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Dirt and Ashes, or: The One-and-a-Half Body Problem - Tozette || captured || gen || M || canon divergent || complete

The invasion of Konoha during the chuunin exam didn't fail. Team seven is broken, people are dead, and Sakura is hurt and frightened and a very long way from home.Alternative summary: In which Sakura carries half of Hidan across two countries, leaving a trail of blood, bodies, and other people's legs.

Super gory story about Sakura's journey with the cranky and absent legged Hidan. Dirt and Ashes is very popular and it's for good reason.

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final exams coming up! - waterpllar || ao3 || gen || M || captured || complete

Kakuzu can name numerous reasons why Hatake Kakashi could make him an excellent profit, most of which involve the numerous organizations he's sabotaged. Specific figures would certainly be willing to pay very well for free reign to relieve their violent frustrations on one of the most notorious jounin in the Bingo books.Such a business would only function with a healer on hand, but it just so happens that a vast majority of shinobi teams have a healer, and there is a pink-haired genin without a bloodline limit or bijuu on the team.What he did not anticipate is that the Copy-nin's teaching might be so remiss that he hadn't trained said genin in any iryo-ninjutsu whatsoever. Kakuzu does not like making oversights, and he decides to remedy this fact immediately (unluckily for sakura).

Kakuzu captured Sakura and Kakashi in an attempt to make money (of course) off of Kakashi's many enemies and Sakura is forced to learn medical ninjutsu in order to keep him alive. Although this is marked as complete and could be considered that to those who read it, the ending is not very conclusive tbh (I wanted more).

Edit: ok this actually just got updated even though it’s marked as complete, so ig it’s still ongoing?? Maybe???

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Your childhood home is just powder-white bones (and you'll never find your way back) - Dovey || ao3 || gen || M || captured || complete

Sasuke is not the only one who worries he's getting too comfortable in his genin life. Itachi decides to add another motivator to Sasuke's revenge plans by kidnapping the teammate who wasn't a charismatic Jinchuriki. Sakura is used to being an objective for those around her, not a person, but even for her this is a little much.In which Sakura is held captive and learns what a genjutsu specialist can do to a person's mind, that sharks can actually make great friends, joins a dying clan, and gets regifted multiple times before she's finally strong enough to fight back.*while this fic contains explicit and graphic torture, there's no sexual assault.

Okay, this was actually a really hard read for me. We truly see Sakura's decline in this as she slowly loses her mind and it is very frustrating to see what has happened to her. Nonetheless, it is extremely well written and great is you want something dark.

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Shinra Tensei - multifandom_fanfic_writer || ao3 || T || itasaku || akatsuki AU || complete

With renewed determination, Sakura stepped forward. She passed the guards, who waved at her absently. She smiled, filled with elation as her foot crossed the threshold of Konoha’s gate. She would no longer blindly follow orders. She would no longer be part of the corrupted system. Sakura felt no grief, nor regret. As of today, the old Haruno Sakura didn’t exist anymore. She would be a new person. And she would be one of the greatest. - The world of shinobi is a harsh one, filled with blood and death. Sasuke dies, and Team 7 is left scattered. Sakura’s loyalty to Konoha wavers until it breaks. Determined to find a better purpose, Sakura sets out to figure out how to live in a world where morality is merely a line in the sand. But her path is soon changed when she is summoned – by the leader of the Akatsuki.

I actually have not read Shinra Tensei, but it is quite popular, so I thought I would recommend it if any of you are interested.

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Hoshigaki - writer168 || ao3 || M || gen || sakura is kisame's daughter AU || complete

When Sakura was three, her father told her he was a criminal. When she was seven, the last thing she saw of him was the sword on his back. When she was eight, she had a friend named Kiba. When they were twelve, they met Shino. And when they were genin, they began to fight for the truth because they could no longer fight for the sake of Konoha.

Perhaps one of the more interesting AUs out there as Sakura is actually the daughter of Kisame! Definitely shines a different light on the village and is such a great story (even has a sequel).

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life goal: punch a god in the face - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || gen || time travel AU || incomplete

Fist poised to punch a goddess. A glare from opalescent eyes. A flicker of chakra. Sakura’s fist met Kaguya’s face at the same time her vision went black. When she woke up, it was to find herself twenty years in the past, with a pair of eyes she’d personally helped shut staring down at her.

Sakura dies and wakes up in Wind country with a young Sasori watching her. Somehow, she ends up agreeing to help him kill the kazekage once he's strong enough and sets off to Konoha where she befriends Kakashi's team.

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I love when y'all send recs! cheers

[isa-ghost]

was reading through your q!phil hc masterpost and was wondering if you could add any of your codebreakers/etoilza headcanons into the fray…? :3

YESSSS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK THIS LONG TO GET ASKED /LH

qPhil headcanons masterlist

RESTATES for my and your convenience (heads up, there are a few suggestive/mildly explicit mentions!!):

--He's FWB with Etoiles. Extremely QPR, Etoiles is an aro king --He and Phil started out as friends and that has Barely changed if at all, but sparring matches get a little too homoerotic sometimes and neither of them can resist the other when they're popping off extra hard. Things have. Escalated a few times. If yknow what I mean. Of all Phil's harem members polycule partners, he & Etoiles have absolutely ZERO emotional investment in the Spicy(tm) things they do together. It's simply a very intimate way of showing each other their respect & admiration for the other. What they have going on is a "*spanks you* good game, let's hit the showers team" kinda deal. They're the type of mfs to finish in bed then shake hands like "gg." Casual sex is >>>> to these two, but it happens waaay less between them than it did Phil & Fit, Fitza was habitual (pre-Pac). Codebreakers is a once in a while thing --Etoiles has 100% asked Phil who fucks the best out of the polycule bc like everything else, it's a competition & he Must win, he Must have the best dick game. This amuses Phil very much --Phil is attracted to Etoiles the same way he's attracted to Fit, HOWEVER, the reasoning is different. Etoiles has raw skill and talent, but it's the way he wields it and demonstrates it that makes Phil wanna act up. Also Etoiles is fucking hilarious. Who can resist a good sense of humor? Those dramatics make Phil swoon --Etoiles is one of the people who is best at catching Phil's Tells for when something is wrong --Etoiles is one of few people who can convince (or goad) Phil into doing something he normally wouldn't, especially if he's drunk --Speaking of Phil being drunk around Etoiles, the way he can still absolutely body someone or snipe smth from miles away makes Etoiles want to kiss him stupid --Etoiles left a scar on Phil's back during Purgatory when he killed him Day 1. Phil didn't know for the longest time, but it took him a while to show him his wings after that. --Phil was genuinely afraid of Etoiles (& Fit) for a while after Purgatory --Sometimes Phil's laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles. --Phil goes back and forth on gifting one of his shed feathers to Etoiles --Technically all of the Polycule vs Ender King hcs apply to Etoiles in some way --Phil could listen to Etoiles teach him about French culture for hours

And now the new stuff :D

Etoiles's dramatics can get Phil in tears laughing. His sides and stomach will hurt before it's over, and Etoiles can go on for MINUTES. Sometimes he'll keep going purely because it has Phil dying so hard and he loves seeing what a kick Phil gets out of it

Etoiles is (playfully) salty that Phil is such a My Kids Come First kinda guy bc GOD does he want Phil to be down to do dangerous pvp and dungeon busting shit without the "euuu we gotta make sure it's safe" aspect more often. He wants that Angel of Death. Etoiles is the #1 Dadza (Derogatory) islander /lh

See, Fitza is more explicit and deadass about their,, Time together. Codebreakers is more subtle. Yknow that "media literacy is knowing when something that isn't gay sex is gay sex" post? That's Codebreakers. Sparring, dungeon busting, whatever high-risk high-exertion thing they're doing together. That.

It should go without saying how down Etoiles would be to throw hands with Ender King. It would be the most exhilarating fight he's ever had

Phil's still lowkey lost about the whole resistance thing. And schedules lately have not been kind to the two of them, so he hasn't had a chance to talk about it with Etoiles as extensively about it as he'd like to

Btw he's secretly concerned as hell smth bad is gonna happen to Etoiles if more of his body becomes corrupted by code :)

They 100% refer back to the time Etoiles said this regularly, and similar things like it. The same can be said for Fitza but my god the extent to which these two are more than willing to kill for each other. OUGH.

Phil does not realize how much pent up stress and emotion he can vent out via sparring or hitting something really fucking hard. Etoiles is going to fix that one day.

Phil's Etoiles impression has made Etoiles attempt to learn how to mimic Phil in retaliation but he cannot for the life of him get the hang of Phil's fuckass accent. Geordies stay winning to this man's dismay

Etoiles is frustratingly yet fascinatingly hard for Phil to clock sometimes. It's difficult to gauge exactly how he's feeling or what he's thinking. And yet as inconvenient that can be sometimes, something about it is incredibly attractive to Phil at the same time. Which is funny because unpredictability is usually not something his survivalist brain would like. Something about how he trusts Etoiles and therefore his being a wildcard is not so scary,,

Etoiles 🤝🏻 Chayanne - Wanting Phil to take them on a flight

I don't know if I'd call Etoiles an anarchist the same way I would Phil, but either way he is SO DOWN to fuck with the Feds if it entails any kind of pvp or the need to be geared up

Ok listen I have to call back to the gay sex subtext thing. Things that are more sex than gay sex to Codebreakers: Sparring, adrenaline, battles of wit, flexing powerful gear, thinking too much about what an absolute potential killing machine the other is, watching one another be in The Zone during a fight

Phil has more physical strength than skill with weapons and Etoiles has more skill with weapons than physical strength. Ok now imagine that while they're in a 2v# fight

I would not put it past Etoiles to pull a Missa and say smth wildly out of pocket and suggestive so fast in French that Phil doesn't catch it.

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E08

I do not want to do this but I also want to be fucking done with this season so I'm powering through.

TL;DR: What the fuck even was that finale? Also, a relevant question - WHERE is the finale? 'Cuz, like, nothing happened except for more setup and the total assassination of the source material. This is gonna be full of negativity.

gif by oscarwildebutwilder

(Couldn't resist when I saw Freddy Fox.)

Tyland Lannister was the only good part of this episode. He was having such a bad time but he did not give up and not only did he secure allies for the war, but he also got to sleep with a whole harem. Good for him!

The way that they have Larys smuggle Aegon out of King's Landing to protect him from his own brother instead of from Rhaenyra... Though, he also inadvertently ends up protecting him from Rhaenyra but that whole thing is purely because of Alicent. I just... RIP any sort of integrity this show fucking had. But I'm gonna talk about that later. At least that provides us with an interesting parallel between Alicent and Larys. She was horrified when he killed his family but now she's the one sacrificing her son and Larys ended up saving him? Again, for his own benefit but that doesn't change the fact that he has taken on the burden that caring for Aegon will be for the next however many months while Alicent just... did that (*whispers* what the fuck). What we need now is for Alicent to get Helaena's development from the book. She knowingly chose to give up Aegon to death but then he is the last of her children that evades death. Imagine her seeing him come back to King's Landing and being unable to look him in the eye, knowing she chose to let him die but at the same time wanting to hug him because he is all she has left... because of Larys. Insane!

I can see how much everyone cares for Rhaena since she disappeared from the convoy and no one even fucking noticed apparently! Or if they did, they just didn't give a shit. They really are putting her through the wringer for that dragon... and they didn't even give it to her. I cannot believe that they just decided to fucking leave it there. At least let her claim it to close the season. That way the Blacks would gain even more power even if no one knew it yet. It would have been some kind of closure if only on 1 out of 10 fronts. But no!

Jace and the horrible, terrible, no good, really bad days. His face when Rhaenyra asked Addam to go with her AND left him to deal with the "mongrels". Ooh, sorry for that rough patch, buddy, hang in there! (Not Baela only appearing when she has to tell him how awesome and totally Targaryen and fit for the throne he is after her last appearance was her telling her grandfather how awesome and totally fit for the throne of Driftmark Joffrey would be. Hmm... almost like there's a fucking pattern!) I think it would have been more interesting if Jace had suggested that they get bastards to ride the dragons. That would have required them to write him an arc during this season where he confronts his feelings on it first but think about it! He knows he's a bastard and that's enough to let him have a dragon. So it should be enough for other Targaryen bastards. Rhaenyra would be the one to protest based on her ideas of the dragons being the Targaryens' key to ruling but she's already bending the rules for her own sons. What if she bends them further to win this war? And that way Jace would be the one to slowly but surely be dismantling the pillars upon which the Targaryen supremacy is built like he's already done with his very existence. Rhaenyra would have still started this but it would be Jace realizing that he's probably going to face another war for his own succession anyway and he decides to pull out all the stops and prove himself in this war plus simultaneously watch out for those who would be future obstacles to him and weed them out right now.

Fucking clown behavior from Corlys once again. I am so glad Alyn just ripped into him like that.

What exactly was Gwayne thinking bringing up Criston and Alicent's affair so publicly and drawing everyone's attention? There's no way none of the other soldiers around them didn't hear what they were discussing. Great way to protect your sister's virtue, buddy! The way Criston also went through an existential crisis this season - just like Alicent - and has come out of it just as jaded, having lost his faith and his sense of purpose. The writers really fucking copy-pasted that arc, huh? On both characters obsessed with Rhaenyra. As if they're trying to imply that without Rhaenyra the world will end. Oh, wait! Did I say imply? They are outright stating it! But yeah, I want to be invested in the Alicole angst of him sniffing her handkerchief but I can't, knowing that Alicent was on her way to betray him and everyone else on her side. (*whispers* what the fuck)

Aemond is coming up so desperate and this could be interesting if they explore how he was so sure he could do it himself but now he has to face the fact that he's not a one-man(-and-dragon) army and he needs help. Which would have been easier to get if he hadn't torched his brother. He might have even persuaded Helaena to join him then, or at least Aegon could have if they had fucking let him and Helaena seek comfort in each other over their son's death. Aegon, due to their extenuating circumstances, could have chosen to stoke her feelings of anger and grief over Jaehaerys contrarily to how he tried to avoid that in 2x02 when he didn't say anything to her on the stairs because all he had was rage and she wasn't looking for that. The world we could have been living in! But no! We have this instead where Aemond is now turning on all of his family members and threatening their lives while Daemon has overcome his ideas to overthrow Rhaenyra and is now a loyal little soldier. At least can they give us some Aemond and Jacaerys parallels? Both feel that that is something making them not enough rn and if Aemond is to have a relationship with Alys, it would be interesting to see him struggle the same as Jace, who is also a bastard like her.

Apparently, if you are tripping balls for long enough, you will completely change your entire personality and start believing in magic and fate and the divine right of kings - oops, sorry, queens - even though you were the one character that openly admitted that it wasn't some magic-prophecy bullshit that got your house the throne but your flying nuclear lizards. Good to know! At least the writers had the decency to give us two different visions that clearly intersect somewhere but also wildly diverge. We didn't get to see Helaena's vision but she was just as certain in Aegon sitting the throne as Daemon was in Rhaenyra sitting it. Though, clearly Helaena sees further since his vision ended at that point but Helaena was also there and has seen beyond it. At least that way they keep the intrigue because if we know for certain one side is ordained by the gods to save the realm, then what's the point of watching the show further? That is to say, they could have fucked this up even more but they managed to not destroy their basic premise.

Love how they kept Helaena's dreamer side so vague until now and suddenly bam! She has a very clear map of when and how Aemond will die. She might not know the exact day but that was pretty specific, especially compared to her other visions. I am at least relieved that it's mostly because of the visions that she doesn't want to join Aemond, since she knows what will happen. It still feels like "women don't like war because they're so gentle" but a little less annoying nonetheless. (Not Rhaenyra saying that Helaena doesn't like riding Dreamfyre. And that on the heels of Aegon saying that Sunfyre is dead which is a confirmation because he would be able to feel it. My inner monologue rn: kill kill die kill.)

Ser Alfred when Daemon declared for Rhaenyra:

I was starting to think that he had just decided to cut his losses and fuck off to another kingdom. Rhaenyra clearly sent him away to get rid of him and showing up at Harrenhal to demand from the Daemon that left Dragonstone to check with his wife would have gotten him killed. It would have made sense for him to bail. Why did it take him so long to arrive? I know he wasn't on a dragon but this seems like some awfully convenient timing.

Rhaenyra still wringing her hands after she had 30-40 people die a horrifying, excruciating death AND broke the rules so bad that she pissed off all her dragon tamers is ABSOLUTELY. FUCKING. RIDICULOUS. Crack? Is it crack you smoke? Mysaria being there to urge her further into war while telling her how right and just she is is starting to feel a whole lot like they're setting up Mysaria to be the devil on her shoulder while Alicent, who wants peace, is the angel on the other shoulder. It's completely devoid of logic and stupid. I wish they would just cut that shit out.

This episode completely turned me off from Rhaenicent. I just cannot support this bullshit. I don't care how many parallels they've woven in between Alicent and Rhaenyra and how they were always each other's answer because they had what the other wanted and balanced each other out. This behavior is just completely unacceptable from a storytelling perspective, from a character perspective, from any kind of perspective, especially from Alicent.

What the fuck are they implying that Alicent is now fReE and she has shed the chains that kept her suffering and self-sacrificing?! She just agreed to let her son get killed so that she could save the realm from a war. That sounds exactly like self-sacrificing! Except that it's worse because she's not just sacrificing herself, but her child! (Also, fucking watch the writers imply that being disabled means you're completely disposable because you'd be better off dead anyway!) And that's coming after she spent 15-20 years agonizing over the fact that Rhaenyra will kill her sons just because they're a challenge to her claim to the throne! That was the whole reason why she put Aegon on the throne in the first place! How did it even occur to her to go to Rhaenyra at all when now more than ever there is no way to end this war without one of the claimants to the throne dying?????

Season 1 Alicent: *stands in front of a dragon for Aegon*

Season 2 Alicent: *agrees to let Rhaenyra execute Aegon*

Like??????????? WHAT. THE. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate, haTE, HATE how they are still trying to present Rhaenyra's bid for Aegon's head as just or at least deserved because Lucerys got killed. Aren't you fucking forgetting that her husband ordered the decapitation of Aegon's six-year-old child????????? There was a son taken! Rhaenyra was allegedly horrified but now she is still thirsty for blood and wants Aegon's head. And when she kills him, she'll want Aemond's head - for Lucerys and because of all the innocent people he's killed, of course, not because he's also a threat to her claim. And when he's dead, she'll want Daeron's head if he dares to join his family and try to fight her. The attempts to present her as the hero are so outrAGEOUS... Why am I even watching this show? I should stop watching this show!

Otto being imprisoned was both "I fucking knew it!" and "Thank god he's alive at least!" I knew to be worried when Aemond wanted him back and Alicent said he hadn't responded to her letters.

[sillyrabbit81]

The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood - Part Fifteen

Series Summary: Lori "Babycakes" Tate swore she would never date a biker but when her life is in danger, she is put under the protection of a small club known as The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. She suddenly finds herself attracted to not one, but five bikers.

A reverse harem, biker AU.

Part Fifteen Summary: Marshall agonises while Lori takes matters into her own hands.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC, Walter Marshall x OFC, Mike x OFC, Geralt x OFC, August Walker x OFC

Word Count: Approx. 3k

Warnings:

Series Warnings: Reverse harem, age gap (OFC 23, ages range from 23 to mid 40s), oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, anal sex, group sex, masturbation, praise kink, mentions of body fluids, drug use, recreational drinking, sex work, criminal activities, mention of death, violence, use of weapons, mentions of war, mentions of abuse, angst, fluff, probably a lot more that I will add as they come up.

Part Fifteen Warnings: slight angst, mild violence, smut, p in v sex,

Authors Note: Thanks as always to my lovely BBFs (Best Beta's forever) @henryobsessed and @nashibirne .

Been a while since I wrote a sex scene with a character other than Sy! I hope you enjoy it.

Divider made by me. Edited by me, there will be errors.

Masterlist

Parts Masterlist

Part Fourteen Part Sixteen

Marshall

Lori sedately followed me as I led her to her room. 

I was in no hurry, on the contrary, I would have liked to walk with her for a while, hold her hand and do some of the usual stuff you do with a girl you like. But that's not how this was going to go, not in this situation, so I folded my arms across my chest and kept my pace to match hers.

“Did you get everything you needed with Mike?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said softly, “the packages should be at the post office tomorrow.”

“I'll send Mike to pick them up in the afternoon.”

Her brows furrowed, but she nodded.

“What's wrong?” I asked.

“I told Mike I was going to hang out with him tomorrow afternoon. But it's not like I'm going anywhere for a while, there will be plenty of afternoons.”

“No. You and Mike can do your thing. I will go and pick them up myself.”

“You will?”

“Sure. You seem to enjoy his company. You smile a lot with him.”

She lowered her eyes and grinned.

“See? Thinking about him makes you smile,” I chuckled. Her face dropped a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, but then shook her head, “I was thinking… Have you heard from Sy?.”

“No.” Her frown deepened. “Are you worried about him?”

She shrugged. 

“Do you miss him?”

She shrugged again, but with a forced carelessness that made it obvious that she was.

“I’m sure he misses you too.”

We stopped outside the door to her room. She made no move to open her door so I waited, leaning against the wall while she appeared to be thinking.

“What I said to you this morning,” she started, “what I accused you of, it was wrong of me.”

I shook my head. “Your reaction was completely understandable. We were out of line. And considering where you come from, it makes sense that you might see it the way you do.”

She raised her head and her normally steel blue eyes had taken on a dark smokey hue that sent a bolt of energy tingling through my nerves.

“I don’t see it that way anymore anymore,” she said, huskily.

For a moment I let myself entertain the fantasy that I could spend the night with her again without the mellowing effects of weed to kill my most feral instincts. Heat flooded my skin as I remembered the weight of her body against mine, the sweet citrus like smell of her hair, and the softness of her thigh. I didn’t think there was a snowman’s chance in hell that I could sleep next to her sober and not shred her clothes to pieces to get a taste of the silky hidden skin between her legs. 

I clenched my jaw as I shut that line of thought down fast. I hadn’t changed my mind from earlier; as far as I was concerned, I was no longer a party to the pact. However, I was not made of stone and I knew my resolution could only withstand so much temptation before it crumbled, so I turned towards my door. Then her hand came to rest on my bicep, her gentle touch halted my escape and my back went ramrod straight.

“Spend the night with me?” she asked, her tone so softly pleading that it took my breath away.

“I can’t,” I said, forcing the words out before I had a chance to say something else.

She withdrew her hand quickly, as if my reply had burned her.

The look on her face made me sick to my stomach. The rejection and confusion marring her dollishly pretty features was almost as bad as the accusatory look of betrayal she had given me that morning.

“You don’t want this,” I explained. “What you said this morning, you were wrong, but you were also right. What my Brothers and I did, what we agreed to, we had no right.”

“You said it was my choice.”

“We did, but we put you in an uncomfortable situation you didn’t deserve and one you don’t want, not really.”

“Oh and this situation,” she moved her hand back and forth between us before placing them on her hips, “is less uncomfortable? Rejection is what I deserve then?”

“Lori,” I said, forcing myself to keep a lid on the frustration that began to boil in my guts, “Do you deliberately misinterpret everything I say, or are you just childishly stubborn on purpose?”

Her jaw dropped and she rounded on me, poking her finger into the centre of my chest, forcing me to take backward steps until my back hit the wall.

“You’re a manipulative prick. All of you are. Was this the plan the whole time then? Playing with my feelings, deceiving me into agreeing to your ridiculous pact and then telling me it was a joke?”

“Lori–”

She pushed me then, her palms bouncing hard off my shoulders, and although it didn’t hurt, it was bloody annoying. I grabbed her hands, turning her in my arms until they crossed over her torso and her back pressed against my chest.

“Let me go,” she yelled while she struggled, pulling and yanking on my arms.

“Calm down,” I growled into her ear, trying desperately not to harden up as she twisted like a kitten trying to get free. 

“I’m not your plaything,” she hissed, “You’re supposed to be protecting me or have you forgotten what you’re being paid for?”

“And that’s exactly why I said no. Do you think I don’t want you? Do you not notice how when you’re in the room I can’t look away?”

She stopped fighting, her body was still tense, but she wasn’t thrashing. I dropped my head into her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin, my lips brushing against her tender flesh.

“Every inch of me wants you, wants to be inside you,” I mumbled as I my will began slipping through my fingers like sand. 

I released her and ran my hands over her body, until they rested against the burning hot skin of her belly where her tank top had ridden up in the struggle. Her hand covered mine and she didn’t stop me as I slid them under the thin fabric. I rumbled out a groan as the soft weight of her breasts filled my hand, and her hard little nipple teased my palm.

“You’re a constant, tormenting, burn in my chest. Right here,” I placed our hands over her heart, “I ache for you.”

She whined weakly, her body melted against mine as she turned her head towards me.

My lips were on hers before I could think. She was soft, warm, and so perfectly lush that my whole body shuddered and I groaned into her mouth. Without stopping the kiss I grasped her waist, guided us blindly to her door, and fumbled with the handle.

Lifting my lips from hers long enough to turn her, I took her to the bed and laid her on her back before capturing her mouth again. Her thighs fell apart beneath me and I spread my legs to make her widen them until I was grinding my trapped and throbbing cock against her heat. She gasped into my kiss and I didn’t hesitate to slip my tongue into the plush warmth of her mouth. I groaned at the taste of her as she kissed me back and sunk her fingers into my beard, nails scratching gently at my cheeks and jaw. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice told me to stop, that I shouldn’t take her like this. I lifted my head, trying to swallow my most violent basic instincts while I struggled to find the words I needed to stop this from going any further but my body was too raw and my mind was skirting too close to the edge of reason. Then I felt her move beneath me, her hips rocking, lifting up to meet mine and a greedy feral urge overtook any rational thought. 

Fuck it. I was hardly on track for sainthood anyway.

I growled, it's the only way I can describe the animalistic groan I released as pulled her tank over her head. Catching both of her slight wrists, I held them above her head in one hand while the other pulled her jeans and panties down her thighs. She cycled her long lush legs to help me peel her flushed body out of the skin tight clothes.

Below a small short patch of hair, her delicate smooth slit was glistening. As if time had decided to stand still, her legs lazily fell open and she blossomed before me, revealing with painstaking slowness her dewy centre. My cock jerked at the sight, desperate to plunge into that soft and sleek slit.

My fingertip circled her nipple, once, twice, three times, my head pounding as I watched the already pebbled skin grow tighter. She mewled as I took her little pink bud into my mouth; her hips rolled and her arms pulled against my hand while her head fell onto the bed with a long throaty moan. God, that sound made my already throbbing cock so fucking hard, I felt like I could fuck through a brick wall.

“Shh,” I soothed and slipped two fingers into her mouth. Her eager lips wrapped around them and her tongue slid over the pads while she sucked. With a rumble in my throat, I replaced my fingers with my tongue and she reciprocated, hungrily drawing me into her mouth with a torrid pull.

I ghosted my wet fingers over her slit, parting her, making her open for me. Fuck, she felt nice; delicate, small, warm, slick, swollen… just so fucking nice.

Barely able to control the primal part of my brain that screamed at me to completely ruin all that sweet softness, I flipped her onto her chest and lifted her hips until she was on her knees. Her cry of shock hardly slowed me as I clawed at my jeans and lowered them just enough.

“I want to take you like this,” I mumbled as I leaned over her and ran my hand from her hips, down the concave of her waist, and over her ribs until I cupped her breast. My cock nudged against her core and I felt her sharp intake of breath.

“Oh my God,” she whined.

Gathering her thick braid in my fist, I kissed her just below her hairline before turning her head towards mine. She was the perfect picture of a woman lush with arousal; eyes heavy lidded, cheeks rosy, her mouth parted as she panted in shallow breaths.

“Yes,” she whimpered, bobbing her head and chasing my lips.

I let her catch me and she kissed me hard, moaning softly as my tongue met hers. I pulled away but her teeth sank into my lower lip making me hiss and my hips jack. I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“We’ll go slow next time,” I rasped, rising to my knees and I sunk into her molten velvet heat.

“Fuck,” we both groaned as our bodies met.

I stilled, the thrill of being inside her almost too much as she shuddered around me. I swept my hand down her spine to the back of her neck. Her skin was so smooth, supple, and even in this position, with my cock balls deep within her quivering core, she still had that seductive allure of feminine purity that I wanted to take apart piece by painstaking piece.

What the fuck was I doing?

“Shit,” I muttered and started to pull out, “I’m sorry.”

Her hand shot back, grabbing hold of me and sliding down my still clothed arm until her hand held mine.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

All I could feel was the pounding of my heart, from my fingertips to my toes, to my cock. She squeezed my hand while she lifted her head, determination radiating from her fierce, stormy grey eyes. 

Then she moved.

Only a small twitch of her hips, but oh God, the tight, silky, slick friction was heaven. The hold she had on my hand grew tighter and she rocked again as a breathy moan floated from her throat.

“Fuck, Lori…” my voice trailed off as she continued the shallow erotic rotations of her hips and arching flex of her spine.

My lust overrode the last of my hesitations and I began countering her movements, rapidly dialling up the intensity until our bodies were crashing against each other. My fingers were digging into her hips while hers were clutching at the covers, our eyes were locked in a feverish hold, neither one of us able to look away.

“Come here,” I groaned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her up until her back rested against my chest. My hands moved all over her, mapping out every soft curve. 

She stretched, raising her arms to reach for me, turning my head and searching for my lips. Her kiss surged through my body, every muscle straining, the growing tension inside me had me heading for a release that was bearing down on me like a freight train.

I held her tight, one arm around her chest, my fingers mauling at her breast while the other skimmed over her taut, quivering belly going lower and lower until I brushed her clit. Her hips bucked as she cried into my mouth, and her pussy clamped down so hard on my cock, I almost lost it then and there.

Muscling her into place, I kept her still while I fucked her and worked her clit. She was trembling and her hands floundered, searching for purchase to steady herself as she got closer to the edge. I gathered her wrists in my hand and held them to her chest.

“Please,” she whimpered.

“I know, Lori, I know. I’ve got you, sweetheart,” I whispered into her neck, the skin so hot and humid that it made my lips tingle.

“Marshall… Oh my God…” 

“Let go, Lori. I need to feel you.” 

I lifted my head and found her striking, heavy lidded eyes. She was flushed, skin reddened and shiny, panting and gasping, she was more breathtaking than ever.

“Look so beautiful.”

Her eyes widened then squeezed closed as her whole body grew taut and she let out a groaning curse. 

“Fuck, Lori. Just like that.”

Her body rolled as if she were fighting me off again. I moved with her, keeping my fingers where they needed to be, fighting my own release as hers milked and pulled hard on my cock. It was a futile fight. Just as her body went lax and her head lulled against my shoulder, a hot euphoric pulse worked its way through my body.

Gripping Lori tighter, I pulled her closer to me while I pumped up into her, everything focussed on chasing my impending high. The throbbing rush crashed over me in long heady waves, each tide surging through me into her, filling her up until I had nothing left and fell onto my heels, taking her with me.

The sudden silence of the room was jarring; the only sound came from us catching our breath. Still buried deep within her core, my arms were wrapped around her with one hand cupping the firm flesh of her breast and she rested her weight on my thighs. I was sweating through my shirt, my belt buckle cut painfully into calf, and my boots - I still had my fucking boots on - dug awkwardly into my ankles, but I dared not move. I endured the discomfort to avoid the inevitable crash back to reality. Maybe if I stayed still and held her long enough, I could ward off the impending shame and perhaps Lori wouldn’t come to her senses and regret what we had done.

The dead air stretched on and on. Neither of us spoke or moved and the longer it continued, the more I feared I had catastrophically fucked up. 

Then Lori’s hands covered mine and she laced her slim fingers between my thick ones. With some hesitation I rubbed my thumbs over her skin and kissed her shoulder. 

“Say something,” she whispered.

I kissed her some more, trailing my kisses up along the ridge of her shoulders to her neck.

“Something,” I muttered.

Lori shook her head with a snicker and leaned back into me, turning her head until she could look me in the eyes. She was smiling, her face beautifully blushing and glowing, errant tendrils of her voluminous hair stuck to her slightly dampened skin. I brushed the stray locks back, tucking them into her braid as best I could.

Sighing, I shifted and Lori got off my lap, and I sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down to unlace my boots. I felt her hands brush over the small of my back and she lifted my shirt to place a kiss against my spine.

“I didn’t mean for it to go like this,” I told her, placing both boots neatly on the floor and dropping my jeans beside them.

“Neither did I,” she said, raising my shirt higher until I had no choice but to lift my arms and let her pull it over my head and drop it on the floor next to my jeans.

“Lori,” I said, rotating my body and capturing her cheeks in my hands, staring resolutely into her tempestuous blue eyes, “I don’t regret it.”

Mimicking my position, she raised her hands to my cheeks and replied just as assiduously, “Neither do I.”

From deep within my gut, a warm surge of relief flooded my nervous system, making my spine feel like jelly. Expelling a held breath, I snaked an arm around her back and guided her back to the bed. Climbing on top of her, I covered her with my body and hummed at the feel of her skin against mine.

“This time,” I told her, “we’ll go slow.”

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E4 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

My character/place cheat sheet

Lady Lihua - the sick concubine

Crystal Pavilion - Lady Lihua's abode

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's abode

Xiaolan - a servant friend of Maomao's

Oh snap. So that person who visited at the end of the last episode was THE EMPEROR. I don't like that Maomao is on his radar. I'm going to go ahead and blame Jinshi for this.

Lady Lihua is unwell and since Maomao is now a famous apothecary she is tasked with healing her. It's not something she can refuse or afford to fail at, though Lady Lihua's own ladies are making it challenging.

They don't trust Maomao, and so they prevent her from treating Lady Lihua, however shortsighted that may be. First of all they prevent their lady from getting better by denying her Maomao's care, second, they undermine the emperor's will. Maomao is going to be forced to deal with palace politics before she can treat her patient.

It is weird how the emperor approached Maomao. He could have summoned her to meet him anywhere, or simply passed down a command. He chose to go to the Jade Pavilion and meet Maomao face-to-face and in front of Lady Gyokuyou. It's as if he doesn't know or doesn't care about harem politics. I'm guessing that he does though. I bet he knows exactly what he's doing, even if Maomao and I don't.

I do not like his interest in Maomao.

Jinshi has come to help Maomao gain access to Lady Lihua so she can diagnose and treat her. He is so unnerving sometimes. When he notices the other ladies watching he rushes up on Maomao (is he trying to start rumors?) and whispers the following:

If it helps, I can come inside.

Which sounds... I mean, it's probably just the way it translated... I'm sure it's just me...

But Maomao looks like she nearly barfed on him! Which is probably the highlight of Jinshi's day.

The ladies comply when faced with the full power of Jinshi's smile (one lady literally fainted). Maomao comments:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

Jinshi knows the effect he has on women, but looks to Maomao after she says it, maybe wondering for the hundredth time how to get his charm to work on Maomao.

Side bar. This show is ALL about what is happening between Maomao and Jinshi. This is where the tension is, and it's where the story is happening. What happens between these two characters will have an effect on every other plotline and supporting character. If it seems like I spend too much time watching and analyzing this relationship, it's because I believe it to be the heart of the show.

Maomao! Holy shit Maomao! Goddamn if that wasn't the most lady boss thing I've ever seen!

Shall I even try to describe this scene? I'll never do this badassery justice, but its worth reviewing anyway.

She solves the mystery immediately, which, of course, and she's so far passed pissed off. When she realizes what's happened she growls in anger. She contains her rage only long enough to confirm who is responsible before slapping the lady across the face!

Lady: What is wrong with you!

Maomao: Me? Just punishing an idiot, clearly.

Friends. I am breathless. I think I gasped and then held it to the end of the scene.

Maomao dumps the poisonous powder on the lady's head. She then lays out in no uncertain terms what the poison does to one's body. Maomao is grappling to accept just how stupid this lady is, nearly shaking as she is incandescent with rage.

She slaps the woman again this time smearing the poisonous powder on her face while she screams:

You think she wants to be adorned in the poison that killed her son?!

The woman finally breaks down crying and Maomao is done with her. She takes charge and starts barking orders to the other ladies who are so terrified that they don't even think about disobeying.

Jinshi looks like he's just had a religious experience, but manages to pull out the perfect callback:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

God I love this character.

Facing Jinshi, Maomao comes back to herself. The ramifications of what she has done start to set in. I don't know if there will be fallout from the Crystal Pavilion from her bossing around Lady Lihua's ladies. I suspect they aren't going to broadcast what happened because they are criminally liable for poisoning their the concubine and also because this story makes them lose all face. Plus, Maomao is saving Lady Lihua's life. Regardless, I am confident that having Jinshi there to witness it all, will have consequences.

Dutiful Maomao then fully assumes control of Lady Lihua's care and commands the ladies with an iron fist. She can hardly tolerate the incompetency that has been standard in this pavilion. It really is a curse to be the smartest person in the room.

Jinshi: You're looking tired.

Maomao: Thanks. Unlike someone, I have been busy.

This is now what passes for a casual greeting between these two.

Jinshi, playfully, but probably sincerely, acknowledging Maomao's hard work; offering her validation, and implied appreciation. Maomao coming back with sarcasm and a playful barb. And they are both are getting exactly what they want from the other. Maomao appreciates that her hard work and skills are being acknowledged and Jinshi loves that someone is casual enough with him to tease him. I suspect he gets none of that any where else. She's may be the only one in his life who treats him like a regular person instead of a prince palace manager.

You can see each of them becoming more comfortable with each other as they learn where the lines lie. They are leaning how to give and take and discovering the ways the other prefers to be treated. Furthermore, instead of using those discoveries to push the other away or discourage them, they are giving the other what they want and inviting them to come closer.

Friends! These two are flirting!

And if that ain't proof enough, Jinshi Gaoshun gives Maomao some steamed buns and she thinks the following:

He knows the way to a girl's heart! It's the considerate guys like him who become good husbands. Too bad he's a eunuch.

So food is Maomao's love language. Same Maomao, same. But maybe don't try to be quite so transparent in front of Jinshi, he will use this against you.

Maomao is thinking of Gaoshun here but for what it's worth, it is Jinshi who knows the way to a girl's heart. He's been figuring out Maomao for a few episodes already, hence why she is receiving steamed buns from Gaoshun. He knows the food will cheer her up, but not if it come from him. Which is why Gaoshun is the one handing it over, even though he said the gift is from both of them.

Maomao interprets the gift in the way that lets her best enjoy the buns. And though she isn't admitting it, she is aware who the gift is really from, and might want to do some introspection on what she just thought about the gift giver.

Jinshi is offering to help Maomao. Whatever she wants. And he's turned the charm all the way up. Like, with all the sparkles ✨. I don't know if Maomao is totally immune to it, but it's not as effective as Jinshi would like. He hasn't abandoned the sultry look method yet. I wonder if he will just keep trying to see if anything shifts. In the meantime, it's far from his only tool of seduction.

His offer of help is good. Maomao of course won't take advantage of this for her own means, but if she can use Jinshi's help to treat her patient? Sold. Jinshi is happy to comply and win points with Maomao in return. I don't think Maomao totally trusts his altruism though. She tries to justify herself by saying:

We have to use whatever we have in this life.

And Maomao's efforts do pay off. Lady Lihua begins to recover. Eventually, Maomao is able to depart from the Crystal Pavilion. But not before collapsing in exhaustion, and having Lady Lihua gently stroke her head. Perhaps Lady Lihua is grateful and will become a support to Maomao in the future? Or at least give her some consideration while engaging in palace politics. Maybe try to mitigate the danger that could fall to Maomao. We shall see.

Maomao has so far had a positive impact on the people she interacts with. She saved Lady Gyokuyou and her baby, supports the ladies in the Jade Pavilion, assists the palace doctor, has solved multiple mysteries for Jinshi, not mention just generally brightens his day, and now has saved the life of Lady Lihua. She's too good at what she does, and too lovable not to charm everyone around her. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely there are some in the palace who feel very differently about Maomao. For now she's still gaining allies.

And nice. Maomao is offering courtesan tricks to the emperor's concubine. Maomao is helping break down class lines one sex technique at a time!

I like what she told Lady Lihua:

There are hundreds, if not thousands of flowers in the world. Comparing a peony to a bellflower is pointless. Who has the right to judge which is more beautiful.

After which, she immediately compares her own body to Lady Lihua's, recognizing Lady Lihua's "magnificent" "assets." I wonder which of her own assets Maomao acknowledges. Does she consider herself to be a beautiful flower too?

Maomao returns to the Jade Pavilion and is warmly welcomed by the ladies in waiting who instantly worry over her. Which, as I've said before, I love. Maomao is always willing to sacrifice herself for others. She did it this time for Lady Lihua, by working herself to exhaustion. The ladies at Jade Pavilion notice that she's lost weight while she's been gone, and acknowledge how hard it must have been to be at the other pavilion. Maomao is so good at caring for others and absolute shit at caring for herself. Luckily, now she has people who look out for her, and care about her well-being.

Jinshi is privately very proud of Maomao. He credits her with completing the emperor's mission all on her own, which... she did not. Lady Lihua would have died if Jinshi hadn't stepped in to help Maomao gain access to her patient. Still good on him for recognizing her hard work and skill. Now tell it to her face.

I guess the point in showing him thinking of it here rather than saying it, is to let us, the viewers, know that he is sincere. When he compliments Maomao he does it a little playfully, and she can never be too sure if he is just messing with her or if he is in earnest.

Also, Gaoshun sees exactly what is happening between Jinshi and Maomao, even if the two of them don't recognize it yet.

And the set up for next episode's mystery of the week is cursed hands. Cool.

If you like this kind of thing, let me know! For some reason I've committed myself to blogging this whole show. It's a little hard because, while I enjoy this and I get a whole lot more out of the story this way, I am also deeply intrigued at this point and tempted to just binge the rest.

If you want to start from the beginning of these reviews:

Episode 1

Next episode

Episode 5