#it sounded kinda like those religious stories my mom used to tell me about what happens if ur a bad person

[llegato]

when i was 11 corpse party fucked me up so bad like i was lying awake at night thinking oh shit what if i wake up in heavenly host

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - January 31

skating anon, therapist anon, admissions anon (new), guess anon (new), milk anon, outlet anon, two fics anon (new)

Skating Anon

Heyy

I'm skating anon, so basically so far I'm still friends with her but I didn't have the courage to tell her anything about liking her, my friend is telling me I should tell her so that we go out for valentine's day. I know for a fact she doesn't have any plans for valentine's day and I mean I'd even ask her like to go as friends but idk

What should I do

Hi!!

I mean, I think you should!! You could always just say "we should hang out on the 14th" and see how she reacts, you know? like don't specifically say it's a date but don't NOT say that and then see the vibes from there!

_________________________

Therapist Anon

Hiya cas, how are we

Therapist anon here with a bit of a long one so hope you're ready :)

One: were having a tour reunion soon (all went away for 3 weeks with a bunch of other people under the same program had such a blast)

Met a boy, talked, went on like a 5 hour hike we talked all the time. After a whileee he went to my friend with a "see ya later!" Then came bounding back (he was like a fawn learning how to walk, beyond adorable) and my friend who was near the front came up to me and was like " *name* you know he came to us stayed for about a minute then said he was bored, I'm gonna go back to *name* (ie me)

OK one was I flattered, boys never looked at me (woah that sounded so pick me, please forgive me) but he was on and off with a girl, later in the trip (like mid week 2 or smth) he was sad cos he ans this girl had a misunderstanding so there I kinda forced myself to give up because ain't no way imma make a move on a taken (?) man

Might not go to the reunion cos train strikes (yay) could only go if they doo a weekend then come back sat night (hopefully they do another one cos I wanna see him) it also doesn't help that all my friends ship us and to this DAY still talk about how cute we were

(Also gonna mention that it was him and two of ny friends bur then it dwindled to just me, my friend and him then just me and him- we didn't say anything and just talked about religion, parent, where we come back etc (in my religion where you're from has quite a big impact ie. If you're from European countries you're gonna have different customs to those from the middle east/Asian countries))

But yeah :D boy trouble am I right?

Two: friends are still being a bit...exclusive

And it pains me that they'll talk about how they've gotten so much better (they havnt) they had another party sat night and I wasn't even doing anything, I would have loved to come but no invite :/

But I also feel like I'm missing out on such teenage things like I've never gotten drunk (yay me I'm being so responsible but I feel like as somebody who's going to uni soon and never had alcohol other than for religious reasons (again alcohol is a pretty big deal here for...numerous reasons I'm not getting into otherwise wrll be here for too long) ans I've never talked to a boy other than school, cousins, sibling friends (and this one) so idk

I don't have a girl gang I don't feel as if I can go to them for boy trouble of course I know they love me (just had a weekend away and as we were lighting Friday night candles we all hugged, blessed each other etc) and I love them but idk....if they realize what they're doing then maybe?? There's definitely leaders and sheep but know I think it's mostly leaders cos of how long it's been going on (since after covid cos long story short, my mom got sick and it was a major health hazard so when bubbles came out I couldn't do it-I didn't step outside my front door for about 6 weeks we were all too scared and then schools opened and I had to distance myself ALOT like if we were in one big room, I was outside the building. Wore a mask until 2022-23 I'd say because of how scared I was so that definitely caused issues yay :) but I feel like that may be part of the issue cos I had to distance myself and push myself away -they were all so sweet coming to say hi and talk, sitting on my porch while I sat inside and for that I love them but that's definitely a factor)

Really really sorry for how long it is but lemme just summarise:

Met a boy, in love, his relationship status=complicated

I am single beyond single and would LOVE A BOYFRIEND HINT HINT HINT G-D

Friends being ignorant, met a new friend but she's going thru a tough spot so I cannot vent, I have to be there for her

Feeling like I'm missing out on ny teenage years ESPECIALLY THANKS TO COVID had depression and have anxiety, kinda feeling like depression is coming back (yay)

Covids a bitch

Also would love to make a huge academic comeback but cannot focus for the life of me, I'm actually addicted to my phone and my other friend doesn't do work until like 2am so that's a no go

Would love if you have any tips:)

Thanks again, really sorry for how long it is, mwah mwah mwah

Hi!

Okay so as far as the boy....Idk, for me...if someone isn't showing genuine interest in me, like it feels like I'm competing or having to work for love...that feels like a red flag. You deserve someone who truly cares about you, you know?

As far as your friends and being a teenager....honestly I feel like I've had so many people say the same thing- and I don't say this to minimize what you're feeling, I say this to tell you that you're not alone. It's okay to experience things in your own time! You'll experience all the things you're meant to WHEN you're meant to, I promise <3

For focusing...have you tried setting timers on your phone? I think there are apps where you can lock it for like 10-20 minutes at a time, and use that time to study, and then give yourself a break.

_______________

Admissions Anon

Hey Cas!

I didn’t really know who I could talk to about this in my everyday life so I’m just gonna leave it here. Don’t feel pressure to reply!

Anyway, the college admissions cycle is underway and I’ve been applying places. I have only heard back from one school (my fav school) and was denied from them, I’m still waiting on about 10 others to get back to me - most of which are easier to get into as my top school has a low acceptance rate.

For context, whenever I would talk about this school to anyone (parents, friends, etc.) it was pretty clear that they didn’t think I’d get in. I’ve had some pretty serious medical stuff over the last few years which has impacted my grades, so my friends at school don’t think of me as capable to get into a difficult school and my parents just didn’t wanna get my hopes up. Guess they were right on that account.

Logically I knew that I likely wouldn’t get in since previously acceptance rates were like 15% (and this year they dropped to 6%) but there was still a little tiny voice in the back of my head that kept whispering “what if…”

So although it’s a little crazy, I kept thinking that I was going to get in. Perhaps more than a little crazy. Whatever. Anyways, clearly I didn’t and I feel like I can’t mope about it or anything because none of my friends will understand cause they’re either super smart nerds who would’ve gotten in or they despise academics and would never apply to a school that difficult to get into. So I just wanted to be able to talk to someone which is why I’m leaving this here.

So all this leads to the fact that since I have bad anxiety and depression I’ve sorta been spiraling a bit since I found out today. I’ll be fine though. Hopefully. Just give it a few days.

I’ll shut up now but if you did read this thank you for listening (or reading I guess since this isn’t audio)

Thanks xx

Hi <3

I completely understand this. I feel like we're sold this lie that if we work hard, we can go to whatever college we want. But in reality, some colleges are almost impossible to get into, and it's so upsetting. And on top of that, even if you get into your top school, there's paying for it.

It's definitely a letdown to know that you won't be able to go to your top choice school. I'm not sure if it would make you feel any better, but I wasn't able to go to my top choice, either, I actually ended up going to one of my last choices. And I ended up LOVING it. Sometimes you end up at the place you're supposed to be, you know?

___________________________________

Guess Anon

hi Cas,

Ive posted a few asks on here but they were public - but this time, I don't think that I'm brave enough to be. Although you'll probably guess who this is if youve seen my other tumblr posts

Its my father's birthday tomorrow and me and my sister are seeing him. The issue is, I tried to bring up the fact that I had dropped out of college last time we saw him, and he told me that he'd be really disappointed and wouldn't want to see me again, so I played it off as a joke and just said that I was thinking about it. He asked me whether I was meant to be in college when we were out last and luckily I had an email saying that my classes were cancelled the day because they were running christmas trips and my teachers were all going (for context I dropped out late november and I still had access to my college email until very recently as I've finally been formally de-enrolled), so I showed him that email (which he originallytbough I'd faked) but obviously this time, I have no messages or anything (cause I've been fully de-enrolled so they deleted my email and stopped messaging my phone number). I'm just scared that he's going to find out tomorrow and get angry and violent, and then he'll blame me like he always does. I'm scared, Cas.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Hi <3

I'm so sorry that I didn't get to this before you saw your dad. I really hope it went well.

I want to remind you of a few things:

First, when your safety is at risk, it is always okay to lie. You could photoshop the email?

Also, when your safety is at risk, it's okay NOT to see family, even if they are family. Nobody deserves to be hurt. I understand if you are still relying on your father for some sort of support, but if you arent...I would reevaluate spending time with someone who is violent.

But also I want to say...I hope you know that you don't have to explain your choices to people. You're allowed to make choices that are best for you, and fuck anyone who judges <3

______________________

Milk Anon

Hey, so milk anon here...

A couple months ago i got a gf, and shes amazing, and beautiful and lovely, and i l'île her a lot

But... im terrified of physical affection (like holding hands and cuddling and kissing etc.) And idk if maybe its because its my first relationship or not but ive started to think maybe that i may not actually be into girls after all, but just guys? I dont want that to be true bc like i said my gf is amazing and i dont want to hurt her, but i also dont wanna lie to her, nor myself, but i also just dont know and its kinda freaking me out

Sorry if its a bit much lol, i just needed to rani a bit to someone not too involved

Hi!!

Honestly...there are so many reasons why someone might not like physical contact and I'm not sure if I can tell you what the reason is for you, you know? Especially since I'm not a professional. But it sounds like you might just need to reflect on the why. Like...is it the person? The situation? The type of contact? That kind of thing. Also you said this is your first relationship...it could simply be that you're not ready for a relationship and that's completely okay!

Also if you do end up realizing you don't want to stay with your gf for whatever reason, just make sure to tell her what you told me- that she's amazing and you care.

Wishing you luck <3

_______________________

Outlet Anon

It made me so happy to read your update! It sounds like things are going so well for you and it amazing how all of those changes have improved things so much! I am sending you love and I hope things continue to go well!

_______________

Two Fics Anon

I promise, there are people who read. Also if it helps motivation, you and try to find people who share similar tastes in tropes and pairings, and then share your writing with them! Fandom friends are wonderful hype people!

[automatismoateo]

My Dad told me: They worship Allah not "our" God via /r/atheism

My Dad told me: They worship Allah, not "our" God I heard my Mom in the kitchen sounding distressed over something. I asked my Dad what had happened, and he told me there was a terror attack in Louisiana that killed 10 people and injured 35 people. At least that was the number when he told me, I just looked it up, and it now says 15 people are dead. It's ironic she sounded so distressed about it when the other day she told me the entire world should end because there is too much sin. She tells me this about once a week at this point. I swear, religious people are the most miserable people. That aside, I told my Dad: "They killed those people in the name of God." Which is literally the motive behind all Islamic terror attacks. My Dad is a devout Christian, but he isn't as in your face about it as my Mom, which is ironic given he is a lot more involved with his bible study and worship than she is. He didn't seem upset and just told me: "They worship Allah, though. He's not the same God." I told my Dad that Judaism, Islam, and Christianity are all Abrahamic religions, and that they worship the same God. Whether they call him Jehovah or Allah, it is essentially the same God. But my Father and I are on pretty good terms, so we just ended things there and didn't go any further. My Mom, however, was boiling. She started going on a rant about how God gives us the air to breathe and all that stuff. I straight up asked her: "If god is all powerful" why couldn't he save 10 people?" Sorry if that came off as distasteful to some people reading this. My heart goes out to the families of those victims. But it just really bothers me when these religious people give God all the glory when anything remotely positive happens and worship him day after day like a damn cult, but will jump through hoops to defend him from ridicule when something horrible happens. I have made a couple of posts about my Christian Mom. I will link them here and here. She inspired me to donate to The Satanic Temple and The Freedom From Religion Foundation. She has kinda backed off with religion the last few weeks, but ramped it up again a few of day ago. The silver lining is she does this whenever the new year rolls around. In 2 weeks max it all dies down. But I will give her props. No other person has driven me away from God more than she has. It's almost like constantly forcing your beliefs down people's throats makes them want to reject it more. Who knew? To get back to the story, she started yelling at me and told me that God isn't some magician and that he works through people to bring about change. I didn't even realize it at the moment, but she more or less made my point for me when I said the terrorist(s) killed those people in the name of God, since God works through people. Her rhetoric is exactly what Islamic terrorists have been saying for decades now. I told her: "Do you hear yourself? He's an all powerful God who can move mountains, but he also can't perform miracles? Then why do you even worship him?" After I said that, I asked her again: "If god is all powerful, why couldn't he save 10 people from being murdered and prevent 35 people from getting injured." Keep in mind earlier she said he gives us the air we breathe. But then she says he is no magician. Do y'all notice the cognitive dissonance going on here? She didn't even have a reply, so I simply took my leave. My Father just sat there in silence, not saying anything. My Father and I don't argue anyway, so afterward everything was fine with him. It's crazy too because yesterday I stumbled across a post that was titled something like: "Is religion about to die." And one comment that really stood out to me was: "Yes, that is why they are starting to get violent." Religion is truly dead in my eyes. An all powerful being who created the heavens and the earth, but can't even save 10 people. Give me a damn break. Submitted January 02, 2025 at 02:27AM by Far-9947 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/swNZtpd)

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[solesurvivorkat]

FC5 Deputy GFH Dialogue

(Quickie ‘Katie IRL’ Update: So sorry for lack of writing... to be succinct, I might have a sleep disorder, possibly Sleep Apnea - been very tired/lethargic for several months now, finally have a test scheduled for late August. Will have to ‘make do’/power through fatigue until then. I will do my best to jump-start my writing {and my YT channel} until then!

Also - as for ‘I Need to Tell You’ (FC5 no-cult AU fic) - I don’t think I have a ton of readers for that one, so I’m just gonna stick to the movie-plot where I can & finish it up {the end is nearing!}. If anyone wants to read anything else from that ‘verse, lemme know & I’ll whip something up - otherwise, I’m gonna finish that up & get back to working on ‘The Book of John’ again, which is loooong overdue {poor Sarah’s been in John’s bunker forever, lol!}. THAT said... )

~~~~~~~~

Deputy Sarah Rook

(NOTE: My apologies if Sarah’s dialogue is similar to anyone else’s OC’s... I promise and swear that if it happens, it’s purely coincidental. I am adamant about not {purposely} stealing anyone else’s creativity! <3  Also, this is quite long... but it’s not everything in FC5, so if you like it & want even more, just lemme know, lol.)

With Fangs for Hire:

Boomer: “Aww, who’s my sweet, brave boy?” (kisses forehead) - “Good boy, Boomer!” - “I know what it’s like to have someone you love taken away from you... but don’t worry boy, you’re not alone. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure you never are again.” - “I won’t let Eden’s Gate use you, I promise.” - “Boomer, go!” - “Rae-Rae won’t have died in vain, I promise you.”

Peaches: “I’m... usually more of a dog person - but as long as I get to keep all my fingers and limbs, I’m satisfied.” - “Peaches, attack!” - “Us girls gotta stick together, right?” - “Hmm... one blue eye, one brown. Unique!” - “Needless to say, a cougar’s a very dangerous pet. Miss Mable never should have tried to raise you in captivity. Still... it can be handy to have a cougar for an ally.” - (gives affectionate pets) “Aww, my sweet little ‘danger kitty’...”

Cheeseburger: “You’re like a... big, dangerous teddy.” (laughs) - “Cheeseburger! How are ya, buddy?” - “Wade was sweet to look after you. I promise I’ll try to do the same.” - “I will not let Jacob take you.” - “Ohh, those big brown eyes of yours...” - “I can’t believe Wade not only found a collar to fit you, but also one that had cheeseburgers on it. Wow.” - “I’m glad you’re on my side, boy.” - “No, I can’t give you any more cheeseburgers. ...Stop looking at me like that, you know they’re not good for you. ...You’re on a diet, remember? ...  (sighs)  .....Okay, ONE burger. Don’t tell anyone.”

With other Guns for Hire:

Sharky

(serious) “Sharky... just between us... you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” - “Sharky... never change.” (smiles)

“Sharky, I know fire is your, uh- ‘specialty’, but... you need to try not burning down half the forest with us!” 

“Anything you say, Charlemagne.” 

“You and Hurk are a dangerous duo - in more ways than one.” 

(horrified, after hearing about his mom/parents) “Anyone who'd do that to an innocent baby doesn’t deserve them. You’re better off, Shark.” 

(cheesy grin) “I hope Eden’s Gate stocked up on ‘Shark repellent’!” 

(when fighting together) “Time for a ‘Shark attack’!” - “You’ve got us between a rock and a shark place!” - “Sarah and Shark, makin’ their mark!” - “You might be better off using your gun here, Sharky.”

“Disco, Sharky? Really? (sighs) ...All right, to each his own.”

“Hey Sharky, got a bad joke for ya - what’s a shark’s favorite bible story? ...’Noah’s Shark’!”

“Ride or die, buddy!”

“No matter what, I’ve always got your back, Sharky.”

Grace

(chuckles nervously/anxiously after seeing ‘serious/deadpan Grace’) “Sorry, I... joking around is kind of my ‘defense mechanism’...”

“A medal in the Olympics... that’s amazing, Grace. ...Er- no pun intended.”

“For what it’s worth... thank you for your service to our country.”

(after Grace mentions destroying copies of ‘Only You’, Sarah chuckles sadly) “Y’know, it’s funny... I actually used to like that song...”

“I know you want to protect your dad’s grave, I do completely understand... but we also need to help protect innocent people that’re still living too, you know? They need us... need you.”

Hurk

"Hercules Drubman Junior - as I live and breathe." (smiles)

“Hurk, I... don’t think a rocket launcher is the best weapon to use right now...”

“As... ‘tempting’ as ‘Hurk’s Gate’ sounds, I... don’t think it’s quite for me.”

(at a loss for words) “...Oh Hurk...”

“Y’know Hurk... there is a lot more to life than beer, drugs, and sex...” - (Hurk {looks horrified}: “...Say whaat? What’choo talkin’ ‘bout, Dep??”)

“Hurk, just... be careful.”

(stares blankly, then slowly raises an eyebrow) “...Monkey... King/God??”

“No offense dude, but... if your dad doesn’t stop talking I may have to ‘accidentally’ shoot him.”

(sneaking around) “You’re not exactly the ‘king of stealth’. Why don’t... you hang back here for a minute? I’ll signal you or call out if I need you.”

“To each their own, but ‘partying’ is... not really my thing.”

Adelaide

(pointing in turn to Sharky, Hurk, then Addie, during ‘tongue-in-cheek’ suggestions for Sarah) “No, no, and HELL no.”

(Addie: "Punch it Chewie! ...Bet you got a kick out of that, you fuckin’ nerd.") “Hey- I love the reference, and I’m proud of who I am. ...Mostly.” (smiles)

“Addie, for the last time - no, I did not inspect John's underwear drawer when I was at Seed Ranch. I was a little occupied at the time.” (turns bright red as Addie looks thrilled) “...That- that’s not what I meant!”

(reluctantly) “Addie? I kind of need some... ‘womanly advice’.” - (Addie, eyebrows raised: “And you came to me?? Oh hunny...”)

“While I appreciate your... ‘openness’, no - I do not need ‘tips’ from you and Xander about ‘positions’.”

“Addie... ‘showing more cleavage’ is not going to help me with the Seed brothers or Eden’s Gate, despite your insistence.”

“...I am not playing ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’...”

Nick

(after flying Carmina - and puking once landed) “Nick... if you ever make me do that again... I don’t know what I’ll do, but it’ll be bad.”

“Flying may be great for you, but I’m much happier with my feet on the ground.”

“I’ll protect you and your family as much as I can - that’s a promise.”

“Defending your business, plane, home, family, and friends like you have been... I’m sure your family would be very proud of you.”

“There he is, ‘King of the Skies’!”

“You and Kim... you’re lucky to have each other. I kind of envy that.”

“Rook and Rye - on land and in the sky!“

“I know fighting Eden’s Gate is important, but... don’t forget to be there for Kim too. We’ve [the Resistance] got this... Kim and your baby need you more.” 

(After Carmina's born) "How's Kim and the baby? You'd better be taking good care of my goddaughter!"

Jess

“I know we grew up in very different ‘environments’, but... I also know what it’s like to feel alone for a long time. No pressure, but... I’m here if you ever need someone to lend an ear.”

(re: Jess’s insane survival skills) “...You’ve got to teach me that/how to do that sometime.”

“You’re related to Dutch? Wow, that’s... kinda cool.”

“I thought I swore a lot, but... wow.”

“Yeah... I’m not one for small talk, either.”

In Combat

(to herself, stressed) “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...”

“Aw shit...”

“Fucking Peggies!”

(to herself, quickly and quietly) “You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day...”

“Let’s kick some Peggie ass!”

(to herself) “I can do all things through him who strengthens me...”

“May God have mercy on you.”

“I don’t think my soul is the one that needs saving!”

Driving

(hears ‘Oh John’ on the radio & starts humming along. After a couple seconds, realizes what she’s doing and shakes her head, murmuring to herself) “...Damnit...”

“I’m driving? If you say so.”

“ ‘Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need... roads.’ “ (smug grin)

“I used to like driving. Found it kind of relaxing, most of the time. ...That was before I started having to get used to being pursued and chased down by Eden’s Gate trucks.”

“Time for... LUDICROUS SPEED!”

“Fasten your seatbelts... it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”

Idle

“...So...?”

“Everything okay? Do you need a break?”

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but I spent most of my life in New England - Connecticut, actually. Born and raised. I moved out to Hope County only a few years ago, when the Deputy job opened up. Thought it’d be... a ‘fresh start’. ...Definitely didn’t expect anything like all this to happen.”

“I used to roll my eyes - or want to - every time the Sheriff and the other Deps called me ‘Rookie’. They thought it was so funny, on account of my last name and all, and me being the newest addition to the department. Now that we’re all spread out and fighting against the cult... I think I kind of miss it.”

“Some of the most horrible things imaginable... have been done by people who claim they had ‘good reasons’ behind their actions.”

“There’s an old proverb that states, ‘Hell is full of good meanings, but heaven is full of good works’. ...There’s a lot of wisdom in that.”

“God has a reason for everything, even if we don’t always understand why...”

“The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do...”

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tell you not to.“

“Imagine the things we could accomplish... if we would just try.”

“ ‘Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.’ ...Make fun of me all you want, but it’s true.”

“I do love nature. ...You know... when it’s not being interrupted by religious idiots.”

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear... it’s deciding that something is more important than fear.”

Recruiting/Greeting

“I’ll do everything I can... you can count on it.”

“Good to see you again.”

“Let’s do this.”

“Stronger together!”

Dismissal

“Until we meet again - stay safe.”

“Call me if you need me.”

“Done already? Aww, you’re killin’ me, Smalls.”

Injured/Down

“God damnit... not yet...”

“FUCK!”

“This can’t be it...”

“I’m sorry... I tried...”

“I need some help!”

Revived/Assisted

“Thanks... now let’s teach these assholes a lesson they won’t soon forget.”

“Never tell me the odds!”

“Never give up, never surrender!”

“Thanks for the help!”

“Thanks... our work’s not done yet!”

Stealth

“Shh... ‘silence is golden’, remember?“

“Keep a low profile!”

“Be cautious...”

“Don’t let ‘em see you comin’...”

“ ‘Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise...’ ”

Being aimed at

“Watch where you’re pointing that.”

“I’m a much better shot than I let on. Just remember that.”

“Two hits - me hitting you, and you hitting the ground. I suggest you aim elsewhere.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Location-Specific:

By any body of water: “When I lived in Connecticut, I loved seeing the ocean. The lakes in Montana can be beautiful, but... it’s not quite the same.”

The Henbane: “Freakin’ Bliss.” / “Please promise me... that you’ll never, ever let me end up like one of Faith’s Angels.” / “Exploiting people’s weaknesses and fears to get them to do what you want... it’s wrong on so many levels.” / “Rachel Jessop wasn’t the first, or even the second ‘Faith Seed’... I wonder if she’s ever afraid of ending up like them.” / “God wants people to follow him willingly, to choose to do good - not be forced into it with trickery and fear. Even if - in an insane world - Joseph was right, it doesn’t excuse the things that Eden’s Gate has done. If they have a message to spread, this isn’t the way to do it.”

Holland Valley: “Saying ‘Yes’ to everything doesn’t make you a better person.” /  “Many people know the seven deadly sins... but few people can name - let alone even know about - the 'seven virtues': chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. ...But you don’t see John tattooing those on people.” / John is... he’s done some horrible things. Committed heinous acts. But knowing the life he had to endure as a child when the Duncans adopted him... I hate so many of the things he’s done, but... part of me can’t help feeling sorry for him, too.” / “Underneath all those layers of ‘jackass’, way, waaaay deep down... I think there’s a lot of hurt and pain in John.”

The Whitetails: “Jacob acts like having feelings, friends, caring for things and people makes you weak. It’s just the opposite... having things to fight for - people to fight for - is a strength. More than just a ‘purpose’ - it’s a blessing.” / (angry) Jacob turning me into a weapon of destruction... he’s going to pay for that. / Forcing Bliss on animals to turn them into Judges... it’s wrong on multiple levels. / “I’m ‘weak’, Jacob? I’ll show you what a ‘weak’ person can do.”

[sanguinarius-archive]

im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!

there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes

okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)

1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.

2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.

3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).

4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.

5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.

6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.

7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.

8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.

9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts

10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are

11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)

12. beastsreflection of society as a whole

then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long

treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”

sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.

the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).

anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.

so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.

sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.

so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.

a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.

there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.

sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.

anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!

sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10

[wetookanoath]

*Literally ignores why this episode exists* So, La Llorona Special, this one got VERY long because apparently, I had a lot to say. So the rest is under the cut, but--

This is the worst preview in the story of forever, oh my God, what am I watching, what the fuck is this, what the hell. "Señora, yo no los conozco" FUCKING SAME, CURLY. I'M SO SORRY, LOVE. (My dogs were sleeping when I started this and they all stood and barked their asses off, the poor kittens ran into their little beds to hide behind their mom, oh my god)

Unpopular opinion: I don't like Ryan's facial hair in the sitting part, he looks like El Diablo, please never use that again. Though, I really like when he wears that t-shirt. Shane's cute, and fashion icon Curly is always the best dressed and better looking all around, ALWAYS.

"I'm half-mexican", I just love how he has been just straight up saying half-mexican lately, it waters my crops. Shane just staying there while these two latino icons talk, hjdnsjnksdjnkdnfr. Honey. Good white boy.

"I'm a shame in my family", bitch does that mean the rest of his family does talk spanish? He is the cousin that doesn't talk spanish, jndsinsdinefi. Y'all, just so we are good here: You don't need the language to be part of the culture. Your culture is yours, doesn't matter what you speak. As long as you feel it as part of you, your identity, your family, your place in this world, you belong.

Shane Madej is one of the few white guys I genuinely stan and I love him for staying there with his :D face while he heard these two exchange things about their culture. He is such a sweetheart wHO CAN PRONOUNCE SPANISH BETTER THAN RYAN????? Iconic.

"You know this, I'm a Boogara". How many times do you think Curly has fangirled over Ryan and the show? I honestly love that he was invited because he really is their biggest fan.

Shane saying he loves Curly? My shit. I love it. "But I'm thankful for you because every time I'm freaking out like you [Ryan], you'll say something and I'm like, Oh Thank God" I fucking love this. Also, Ryan trying to silence Curly, not wanting him to give Shane some validation, jdnsinkedneifn. HONEY.

I love Curly mentioning how all Latinx countries fight over the story because in reality, and if our research at Uni is still accurate and valid, this is a story that dates from pre-colonization but became widely know during the Colony and something we fail to remember is that the various Colonies sometimes took part in various areas that are now little or bigger countries. The New Spain was mostly Mexico, yes, but it was also part of Guatemala and so on. So to actually say "this is orginal from here", well that's like. Not gonna happen, lol.

Rude, Ryan. Chill.

Shane's 0: face at Curly's tía's tale is me listening to all the other world encounters I have hear during the long of my life since forever because I swear to God, there's no latino kid out there who doesn't have a tía or primo that saw something once.

Ryan is in so much pain listening to this, jnsdisndinsie. But look at him, remembering his tall counterpart is of polish heritage, and Shane knowing shit about it, ndsjwndjf.

Ah yes, la vieja confiable of telling your kids some angry spirit will take them if they don't behave. That's... the most latino thing I have ever hear Ryan say, lmao.

Shane saying he would run into the woman crying if they hear one to make sure she is real or not is like... Man, now I want them to fucking find her. Go find mama, kiddos.

I remember this from the thesis, this like "theory" that La Llorona could be connected to doña Marina. She is such a figure for our cultures, this woman put in a position of so much power even thought she didn't ask for it, that for many years has been seen as a figure of betrayal... that's another level and conversation for another day.

What Curly is saying of feeding the spirits by telling their stories is also such a thing from these lands. Who else has this belief of how you feed the spirits by believing in them?

"SEÑORA LLORONA, DEJA DE SER CHILLONA" CURLY NO FHDJNSBFJENFSUJENFU. I'M CRYING, OH MY GOD HDBNSHEJNF.

Ryan laughing at Shane saying "he said my name for sure!" djfniensfien FUCKER.

Seduce men??????? FEMME FATALE???????? WHAT THE FUCK????? NO????????

Shane and Curly wanting Ryan to show his biceps is a huge ass mood. "Why don't you show her your legs?" yes please. OH YEHA, THAT'S A THING THAT HAPPENED. ALRIGHT, I'M FINE WITH THAT. "No, no, no! It's too sexy!", Ryan are you okay?

"That's my girl Guadalupe, she's here. That's my girl, I'm happy she's here" I ADORE THAT CURLY IS A MARIANO. Like, part of being mexican is kinda believe or at least know the story of Maria de Guadalupe, and it makes me so fucking happy when other latinos also believe in her because what the story means to the people that was suffering during the Colony and specially to indigenous people in that time is something that is with us still, it's very present, very there, and it's really something to see. Like, no joking, even people who is not all that religious come to see the Manto and La Basilica because it's so iconic of our country and culture. If you guys ever visit Mexico City, get into a bus and drive to El Ajusco, you are not going to regret it. Say hi to mami Lupita.

"I'm not here to judge you, maybe he is here to judge you" "OF COURSE I'M HERE TO JUDGE YOU" I'm Shane.

"Can you hear that?" HOLY FUCK, THAT WAS CLEAR AS FUCKING FUCK BFDJNISNDFIRNFIR. RYAN'S FACE, HE IS PISSING HIMSELF, MY POOR CHILD. Shane's big laugh, oh my GOD, HE IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS FUCKING LIFE. I'm so glad Curly is there to see that, lmao fjdfnjnsdrngfr. Awww, Curly saying thank you for that jdfnsndie. SAME.

Hello, Ryan's beautiful curly hair. Oh man, I love everyone's look in this one. Handsome boys, the three of them.

Shane's faces as the girl is speaking, I love how resposive he is and the fact that he doesn't say shit even if he obviously doesn't believe in it. Curly saying how we just know it's her? True, lmao. I have never had such experience, but every single story I hear, they just know. She's our Boogieman!

"Oh, this is where I'm going to lose it later?" "Your virginity?" WHAT THE FUCK SHANE, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN HAS TO DO WITH THIS?JFDNFDIDNFIR DID YOU LOSE YOURS ON A PUBLIC PLACE, HOLY SHIT JFDBFNIWSNDFIR.

Did Ryan just joked about having sex with both of them? LMAO, their laughs jdfnuenjf. Also, Ryan looks tiny with these two, someone get him highheels.

"This is a place were you get your children if you hate them" honestly, who does a park in a place that says has a spirit that steals children?! JDNSKAMSDKFD

Ryan having a picture of Shane as a child is everyting I care about now. Also, "we can of look alike! BEST BUDS!" Oh god, they look so freakin' adorable in those pictures, baby Ryan is the cutest fuking tihng in the world, I'M CRYING.

Curly and Shane in the swings is so cuteeeee. "Shane, what if we pretend we are children?" "Okay" I wonder, do they ever stop to think about their brilliant ideas to attrack spirits and realize, "Hey, are we like high or something?" "Don't think so, man" "UHM!". I just love that Shane just went, "okay" and also how softly Ryan asked that, they are cute af.

Did Ryan just said he wanted to push Shane on the swing? So. You just wanted to... you know what, valid.

"Look at this big, tall firned of mine!" Ryan, honey...

Curly's face as they are doing their bit, jdnfisnfijdfirjfir. Same. "Push your friend Curly, too" AWWWWW.

Curly talking to la Llorona is how I would go searching for ghosts. And these boys in the car, they look so cute. It was a good day for everyone's handsomeness.

SHANE WANTING LA LLORONA TO KILL HIM, IT ME.

... Ryan knowing exactly what Shane was going to do? Fucking magnificent. Ryan sounds so fond while saying "He's gonna move to his old standby of asking La Llorona to murder him", goddammit. "Sweet Curly" JDNSINWMSINFRINFGR. "The timid man" awwwwnnnn.

"I tried to appeal to that lady's interests but she wasn't having it" jdnfsjensfineifnir.

And of course Shane also knows perfectly what Ryan is doing during his solo walk. Oh man. I love them. Thank you for this, Curly. Did Ryan just said "ninios" jdnsindmfif.

"The Ghoul Boys prevail again" "This time" jfdbnsuwsndjeknfie, CURLY NO LES ECHES EL MALEFICIO JDFNDSDNINF.

[alyssaiswriting]

Dead Man

Inspired by: ok so I recently saw Miss Bala and I loved it so much I couldn't get it out of my head so yuh this is inspired by that (there are no spoilers)

Before you read: This story is about Mexican drug cartels in Texas near the Mexican border. Also, you and Zabdiel grew up together.

Warnings: This story will contain, drugs, guns, violence, sexual harassment, and death so please don't read if you are sensitive to those things 

Summary: You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time (Y'all already know I suck at summaries lmaooo)

Word count: 2866

“I know mom, I'm just locking up then I'll head home," you say into your phone as you start turning off the lights of your family's restaurant.

You've just moved back home after 4 years of being away for school. Your parents needed help with the restaurant so you came back for them. "did you check the temperature of the freezer? I need it cold enough for the meats" your mom says.

"yes mother, it's cold, can I hang up now?" you roll your eyes, grabbing your keys and bag.

"OK, be careful y/n," she tells you this every night, you always walk home from the restaurant since it's only a couple blocks away from your house.

You step out of the building nodding even though she can't see you "ok Ma, see you in a bit" she says her goodbye and you hang up the phone.

You step out of the restaurant building and lock the door before dropping your phone and keys into your bag. The street is empty at this hour a few cars tend to pass by but for the most part, this area stays clear of people after 10.

It's currently midnight, the night sky at its peak darkness and you're lucky for the street lamps.

You suddenly become very aware of the sound of fast footsteps that echo off the walls of the buildings making you look around in search of where the noise might be coming from. As the footsteps get closer your heart pounds faster, you start taking out your keys to get yourself back inside the safety of the restaurant but when you turn around you're nearly tackled by a frantic man.

Your keys are knocked out of your hand but you're too scared to even notice "please help me" he begs "they're after me" he cries.

The man is so obviously on drugs and you're so taken aback by the whole situation that you don't even know what to do at the moment.

All of a sudden a truck come speeding down the street and the man before you is too busy trying to explain to notice- that is until it's too late.

The truck doesn't even fully stop before 3 men are jumping out. All three men have medium deep skin, two have bleached blonde hair that's kinda grown out while the other has buzz cut dark hair.

"You really thought you could run Sammy" one of the blonde headed men laughs. The man who you assume is Sammy turns away from you.

"Please I'll get you the money, I'll make it up to you somehow" Sammy is begging.

"Ay Sammy boy, you know the boss isn't that forgiving, you stole from us even though you knew it would cost you your life," the other blonde haired man says.

You - not wanting to be involved, slowing start backing away from the scene.

"I made a mistake! Please" Sammy cries.

"You know it's not up to me," the second one who spoke says as he quickly pulls out a gun and shoots Sammy right before your eyes. Blood splatters as Sammy's body falls to the ground, you watch as slowly starts pooling around him. You don't even realize your screaming due to your ears ringing from the sudden loud noise.

"Get her," the one who just killed Sammy tells the dark-haired man.

"No no no please" you start backing away as tears fall from your eyes. You turn to run but you don't even make it 3 feet before you're being grabbed and dragged back to their truck. The man grabs your pursing throwing it back onto the sidewalk.

"No, please let me go" you're screaming, thrashing, kicking, trying anything to get away. But it's no use as you're pushed onto stomach down on the backseats of the truck, you try kicking back at the man but he traps your legs down with his, you feel your hands being tied together as you cry into the seats.

You're lifted back up, your back pressed against the front of the man who grabbed you "if you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to shove my gun down your throat and I won't think twice before pulling the trigger" he snarls in your ear.

You suppress a sob, too scared to make a single sound now. You're shoved into the back seat, the man sliding in beside you.

You now take notices of the other two men in the front seat, the man who shot Sammy is in the driver seat not even taking a second to glance at you before starting the car and speeding away from your parent's restaurant- away from your life. Your body is shaking as you start going through different scenarios of what these men might do to you. 

"What's your name?" The man in the passenger seat turns to look at you. You don't respond you only glance at him before quickly looking away.

"You don't want to tell us your name?" He questions, you still don't say a thing, instead, you keep your eyes straight ahead at the dark road, tears falling from your eyes as you start driving down the road of your family home.

"It's okay, we don't need to know your name nena" the man turns in his seat.

As you pass your house you can see the light to the living room on, probably your mom waiting for you to come home. You swear you can feel your heart physically break in your chest as you drop your head and silently start praying. whether you were religious or not at that moment it didn't matter, it just felt natural to ask someone\something for help.

"shield her eyes," the driver says after 10 minutes of driving,  the man beside you covers your head with a black fabric, you don't even fight it.

A couple of minutes later the truck is stopped, you listen as doors are opened and slammed shut before you the door beside you opened and your forearm is gripped tightly as you're pulled out of the vehicle.

when the fabric is pulled off your head you realize you're standing before a giant warehouse and as you whip your head from side to side you notice it's in the middle of nowhere.

There are two men standing at the entrance of the building, the same man that killed Sammy nods his head "Sup Nick" he extends his fist "Yashel" Nick nods bumping his fist with the man who you now know goes by Yashel.

He then looks behind Yashel, he acknowledges the one who asked for your name in the truck earlier "Yashua" then he looks to the one holding you "Jaime", they both nod in acknowledgment.

"Tell Julio we had a witness, should we put her to work or kill her?" Yashel asks, Nick nods and gets out his phone. Your heart drops at Yashel' words, knowing exactly what he means by work "no" You start repeating as you try to pull away from Jaime's hold. "Let me go!" You scream, Yashel turns around pulling out his gun and aiming it at you, "we're giving you a chance, but I could kill you right now" he threatens.

You stop fighting, looking at the gun before looking at Yashel, his face is stone cold as he threatens your life. "I'd rather die than work as some warm hole for your people" you spit.

You can see Yashua behind Yashel smile at your words. "Feisty," Yashua laughs, "we like that" he winks.

"He wants to see her first, take her to him," Nick tells the men. Yashel doesn't take his glare off you as he shoves the gun back into his jeans. Yashua leads the way as Jaime pulls you even when you try to pull back, digging your feet into the ground not wanting to enter the building. But it's no use Jaime only pulls harder making you stumble forward as you walk with him.

The warehouse is empty not a single person in sight as you're brought to the elevator, all 4 of you enter the elevator, you can hear your heart pound in your ears as you start going through ways to escape or mentally beg any higher power to come and save you.

You start thinking back to where they took you from, the front of your parent's restaurant but you left nothing behind but your purse and phone, nothing to lead someone to where you are now. Maybe Sammy has obvious ties to these people and they'll know exactly who took you. 

Tears fall from your eyes once again. "You know" you feel Jamie come up behind you close to your ear "I really hope we don't have to kill you, you'd be a lot of fun," he says in your ear and you nearly vomit at the thought of being helpless and at any man's mercy. "Leave her alone, Jaime" you hear Yashel say behind you making Jaime pull away.

Soon the elevator doors open and you're brought out, this floor is full of people, your eyes catch sight of tables filled with packs of cocaine, and other smaller packs containing something you can't see, on the other side of the floor there are beds where some women look to be sleeping.

They take you past all that, you all enter a large room where a man is sitting at a desk, another man stands beside the desk, his attention on the a machine that is counting money.

The man sitting down looks up at you all, "leave us Chris" he tells the man by the machine. Chris nods and turns off the machine, acknowledging the other men with a nod as he leaves.

"Untie her," he tells the men before looking at me "sit down here bonita," the man tells you.

When you're hands are untied you don't make a move for the chair so Jaime grabs you, forcing you to sit on the seat.

" defiant aren't we?" The man raises an eyebrow. You don't respond "look if you cooperate we might be able to work something out, I mean after all, it was dark outside maybe you didn't really see anything," he says making hope rise in you.

"My names Julio Mendoza" he introduces himself, looking at you expectingly "y/n  y/l/n" you respond softly.

This man isn't as old as you'd expect some gang leader to be, maybe late 30s, he's cleanly shaven with dark eyes and darker hair, his skin is a nice shade of tan. He's dressed nicely, you take notice of the many large rings he has on his fingers, your eyes linger on a small snake tattoo that wraps around his thumb and when he lefts his hand up to scratch his temple you notice how the snake goes down his inner wrist.

Julio suddenly let's out a laugh so loud you jump, "do y'all know who you've brought me?" He asks the men behind you, you frown at his words.

"Does the name hector y/l/n ring a bell?" He says your uncle's name only adding to your confusion.

"The leader of los lobos," Yashel says, you turn to look at him, "who's los lobos?" You question looking back to Julio. "Hector runs the drug cartel on the other side of the city, I run this side, I want both" Julio walks over to you, he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek. "I think we're gonna keep you for a while, y/n"

You shake your head "no please" He let's go of you looking up at Yashel, "drug her, and put her to work, watch her make sure she doesn't get herself killed, she won't be any use to us after that"

"No" you cry as Yashel and Yashua grab at each of your arms lifting you up "no, please I'll do anything please" you beg but Julio isn't hearing it.

"Please" you shout as you're being dragged away, but then the boys stop as someone else walks into the room.

"What's going on?" You hear a voice ask. Snapping your head around you let out an inaudible gasp, Zabdiel's eyes meet yours as his mouth opens agape.

"The boys brought us a little present, she has ties with los lobos," Julio says smiling at the man you once knew. "I'm going to try to use her as a bargaining chip, the other side of the city for her life" you whine pulling at Yashua'a hold but he doesn't let up.

Zabdiel looks at you before looking back at Julio "where are they taking her?" He questions

"Oh we're gonna rent her out" Julio waves it off, a sob escapes your mouth as you shake your head.

You look to Zabdiel, his eyes meet yours before turning back "what if we can use her for something else?" Zabdiel steps closer to julio's desk.

"Z, have you seen her? She can bring in good money" you hearts pound in your chest. "No" Zabdiel shakes his head "I just think it'll look more natural to have a man and a women in the car to look like a couple when taking the drugs across the border. Less suspicious" Julio squints at Zabdiel before looking at me.

"You sure you want her? We haven't had time to break her, she'll try to escape" you swallow the lump in your throat.

"I can handle her" Zabdiel nods.

"what about Stephanie? you two work well together, no?"

"no, it's fine, I mean she's already here" Zabdiel gestures to you.

Julio gives Zabdiel a knowing look, "oh I see, you want first dibs?" You can't see Zabdiels face due to him being faced away from you.

Julio laughs "ok, but only because you deserve it"

—————

You're seated in the passenger seat of a car, your hands and legs tied with plastic ties, Yashua buckles you in before squatting down beside you outside of the car.

"You escape and your family will pay, so don't be stupid" he slaps your thigh once before standing to his full height and slamming the door.

You look into the rear view mirror to see Zabdiel loading bags into the trunk, the only sound you can hear is the sound of your breathing, and your pounding heart due to Yashua's words.

When Zabdiel gets into the driver seat he doesn't say a word as he starts the car and pulls out of the warehouse parking lot.

He doesn't say anything till we're 5 minutes from the building. "How did you get yourself into this mess y/n" he sighs.

"Me? Zabdiel what are you doing here?" You snap. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time but you're working for these people?" Your voice cracks.

"You wouldn't get it" He shakes his head, his jaw clenching.

"What wouldn't I get?" You question. Zabdiel doesn't say anything, instead, he pulls off to the side of the road, shutting off the car.

He takes out a pocket knife and you flinch back slightly, Zabdiel frowns at you before using the knife to cut off the zip ties.

"Things have been different since you left" he says. "My dad got sick, my mom hasn't been able to hold down a job, we were struggling, I needed to find a job with more pay, Julio offered that to me" you don't speak so Zabdiel continues "I've done a lot of things y/n, bad things and I can't leave even if I wanted to" he lifts his hand up for you to see a tattoo a snake wrapped around his thumb leading down to his wrist like the one Julio has. "They own me"

You look away from him not responding, Zabdiel sighs putting his head down and you know he's thinking about his next move for you. 

The car is silent as memories of you and zabdiel's childhood play in your head, like all those times you both went to homecoming together from 7th grade till 10th before Zabdiel got a girlfriend. Or the time after prom when your date left you at a hotel cause you chickened out on having sex so zabdiel picked you up and took you to McDonald's. He refused to take you home unless you laughed at his jokes. Zabdiel was always funny and he knew if you didn't laugh then something was really wrong.

You remember all the Christmas' and New Years' his family spent with yours, how much your parents loved them.

Your heart pounds in your chest at the thought of how your parents must be feeling right now, not knowing where you are or if you're even still alive. It's like you can feel your heart physically breaking as a sob is released from your lips with out your permission. Tears starts streaming down your neck.

Zabdiel lifts his head, reaching over to grab your hand "hey" he calls for your attention and instinctively you look up at the sound of his soothing voice, " I know you're scared but I'm not going to let anything happen to y/n, I will protect you with my life"

[lordeasriel]

Ok, I’ve read chapters 1-11 of The Secret Commonwealth and this is my set of impressions so far. I’m using the audiobook, which is wonderful and I recommend it! Under the cut for spoilery reasons:

First and foremost, the audiobook: Michael Sheen is A-MA-ZING! And because he did La Belle Sauvage too, lots of voices are recognisable and I love it. Pan sounds a lot like young Malcolm, but less sweet and more sharp and snappish and it’s beautiful. Marcel has hints of Bonneville = Papadimitriou aka disgustingly smooth but scholary and witty. Lyra sounds amazing; Alice and Hannah have the same voices as they did in LBS (i love you michael for this). Malcolm has a mix of Coram’s voice and Asriel’s voice, he sounds worldly and sexy scholarly at the same time, I love it! Olivier sounds like a lil bitch.

I love the part where Lyra is telling Miriam about her origin story and it’s added that she wasn’t sure about the horse, but she liked it. She won’t give up on the romantic vibes of Asriel saving her, first the swordfight, now a horse lmao;

“I saw someone being mudered” Pantalaimon no chills lmao I love this adult Pan, he is so special to me, but then again I always loved him and his grumpy mood.

The Hyperchorasmians: this was such a wild moment, I laughed out loud and was like “is this a self meta?” but someone did brought to my attention it may be a self parody, I love it regardless.

Pantalaimon saying "I do exist (...) we exist” and so on, was really powerful, because it feels like a horrible existential crisis and I get his anger with Lyra and I feel his entitled to it. Right now, they’re struggling with their sense of self, yet they are one, and while Lyra finds that concept interesting, Pan is afraid because the same concept suggests he ain’t even real. In our world, our existential crisis consists of asking “do i exist or not?” but in Lyra’s world, is like asking if only a part of you is real and that’s bloody horrible to even think about.

I love how smoothly Pullman retconned Alice’s age, in “Lyra now thought she wasn’t as old as she first thought” like yeah my man, nice try, but I see through the lies of the jedi your retcon, yet I love it all the same lmao I’m glad she’s alive and well.

I love that remark of Lyra having learned how to charm people and manipulate information out of them with her wits and small talk. That’s such a Marisa trait, at least as I always perceived her and it really made be bubbly and cheerful as I noticed that.

I also noticed how Lyra refers to Asriel either by his name or as Lord Asriel, and she still refers to Marisa as Mrs. Coulter, although she acknowledges them as father and mother when other people refer to them that way. I’m a little sad she doesn’t refer to them as mom and dad, but then again i feel like they never earned that treatment from her and I get it.

Pan suggesting Malcolm and Alice may be lovers and Lyra stares at him then ignores him because the mere thought of it it’s inconceivable LMAO

Lyra remembering Asriel’s moonlight walk with her was too much for me, that’s as emotional as I’m gonna get. It really made me sad that Asriel was living hand to mouth and that he left her nothing; to think that his most recent luxury was his house arrest on Svalbard is, well, sad.

On a happier note, Dr Carne supporting Lyra is my favourite thing. He cared enough about her to actually give her a home and support, and I think people should respect him more. This guy is the father Lyra had, however quirky the entire situation was and I have an immense love for this character.

Oh my God, I cannot believe they kept Lyra in the dark for so long. She is so fucking clueless about everything! What is wrong with those people? Tell the girl everything for fuck’s sake! The moment she snapped I snapped too; for fuck’s sake, she should have known about that stuff the moment she came back from the other worlds. Also, the fact she does not know about Asriel and Marisa is infuriating, but that one I can forgive because they kinda did threw themselves into a fucking void and didn’t wanr anyone about it, so...

HOW THE FUCK IS THE MAGISTERIUM STILL STRONG???? I am so fucking angry! I can understand why it takes a long time for them to dissolve entirely, but they are still strong and influential and Asriel’s war was for absolutely nothing. He and Marisa died for nothing, everyone that died there died for nothing and I am so angry because I hate theocracies with every fiber of my fucking being and I AM SO FUCKING SMAD;

Lyra does mention “the witches of the north” and that got me thinking that there may be more types of witches around the world and that not all of them have split daemons. But I don’t know, just a thought.

I only read 11 chapters, but so far I am 95% percent sure Lyra and Olivier are going to end up together by the end of the third book. I will not elaborate on this now since I have very little to go on with, but I will speak more as I read more. I do not approve of this, but I fear this may be the route Sir Phil is going for. I hope I am wrong.

Malcolm’s description of his feelings for Lyra are creepy and cringe. If he only, I don’t know, “discovered” his feelings for her recently, I could overlook it with a certain frown, but he’s been having those weird ass feelings since she was his student and a minor and that’s creepy, to say the least. I know he acknowledges that what he felt wrong was wrong and weird, and wow, thank god, but the fact he indulges himself on those feelings now that she’s older is weird. I feel like Pullman is deceiving us, I’m just not sure. I love Malcolm, I do, and I am slightly attracted to him now lmaoooo but no, you see? No. Not okay, but as I said before, I don’t think they’re ending up together. I hope I am right.

Also the way Pullman describes it lmaoooo “Malcolm Polstead, age 31, was in love with Lyra” or something like that. It was so funny, I felt like I was read a very well-written fanfiction that suddenly the author had a stroke and wrote as if they’re 12 and in love. It was very cringe, I don’t know, I was embarassed on Malcolm’s behalf.

I really love that Oakley Street is still going strong, sort of lol and that Malcolm is now a member and I hope we get to see more of them. I love spies and I love Oakley Street and I’m sad Nugent is dead.

Makepeace referring to Pan as “my boy” warms my heart because it shows the daemons’ treatment we should see and treat them: they are people and they have feelings and they exist and should be acknowledged. I just cherish the whole conflict between Lyra and Pan because this is what it feels so far: the struggle of being who they are and the pain that comes with it.

I have an unpopular opinion here, but I love the relationship between Pan and Lyra; I love their banter, their fight, their anger with each other. It feels right, although I am sad that they are fighting a lot because of the existence business, I think Lyra is really being inconsiderate with Pan. But, I think their constant disagreement is in-character; they always disagreed with each other, they always were very different from each other, so I love that they struggle with that, it’s just sad that they’re bordering on self-loathing and they need to work on that. I want them to find the spark of love they had, but not to the point where they are clingy again; they’re people and they’re different and they are the same person, so they need to come to terms with that. It really hurt me when Pan had to yell that he exists, that hit so close to home and I don’t know, I felt speechless for a moment.

Pan saying: “You are in a world full of colour, and you wanna see it in black and white” was a powerful. I really appreciate how that argument was handled. It’s beautiful and sad and painful to listen, there’s so much emotion in Lyra.

Back to Malcolm, I think that Pullman is going for a weird route here, not gonna lie. But so far I think that Malcolm’s awareness of its weirdness is alright, I think and as long as he never acts on his feelings, we’re gonna be fine. I want Lyra to end her story alone and with a healthy relationship with Pantalaimon, because that’s what really matters in life.

Now, more Oakley Street: I’m sorry but Glenys Godwin is awesome and I am so happy that a woman is the head of my favourite spy organisation, thank you sir phil for this gift. I love her and her daemon, and that OS is a bit stronger than before. RIP Lord Nugent, thank you for your service, you ruthless bastard.

I do not trust that priest tho; I think it’s cool and stuff, but I just dont trust religious figures in general lmao i hope he is not a traitor.

I don’t know what is wrong with Marcel, but I like him cause he’s clever but I hate him cause he’s a Magisterium bitch. I had the spoiler that he is Seasea’s brother, I had this theory that maybe they’re twins, but so far it hasn’t been mentioned and I am horribly curious. I wonder, did he changed his name? Did Marisa change her name? I thought van zee was canon tbh

Giorgio Brabandt is a man, my friends, and what a man he is. He is AWESOME. I loved him immediately. I love the gyptians in general.

What the heck is happening to those roses?

[alexconfusion]

1-100 please (I’m serious... or at least do like 20 of em. The first twenty. But I’d prefer them all)

Is this a challenge

1 Middle Name- Katherine

2 Age- 13 (yah I know I’m a baby blah blah blah shut up guys djskdjjd)

3 Birthday- May 8, 2006 (8:29am, to be exact)

4 Zodiac- sun: Taurus moon: Virgo, I believe

5 Fav Color- blue is my aesthetic but purple is my fav

6 My Lucky Number- five

7 Pets- two guinea pigs (ginny and lily), two dogs (bailey and maya) [i will provide pics if you want]

8 Where I’m From- Massachusetts

9 Height- 5’1

10 Shoe Size- eight

11 How Many Pairs of Shoes I Own- three

12 My Last Dream- Shane Dawson fixed my family issues and helped me come out to them (it was awesome, 10/10 would do again)

13 My Talents- piano (I have soundcloud check it out if u want), writing

14 Am I Psychic- HELL YEAH I AM shoot me an ask if u wanna know more cuz it’s kind of a long story (ok maybe not actually psychic but it’s a fun story)

15 Favorite Song- Amnesia - 5sos (it makes me cry every time and I don’t even care)

16 Favorite Movie- Into the Spider-Verse

17 My Ideal Partner - idk u tell me

18 Do I Want Kids?- potentially, but if I did I would adopt

19 Do I Want a Church Wedding- nah they look boring. I was part of the wedding party for my cousins wedding and it was absolute torture

20 Am I Religious- not really

21 Have I Ever Been to the Hospital- yeah, I was seven and stepped on glass at the beach (huge gash, kinda gorey, wouldn’t reccomend) anyways I didn’t know I cut my foot open at first and walked around the beach and a fuck ton of sand got in it (I had a very rough summer)

22 Have I Ever Been in Trouble With the Law- fuck no who do you think I am??

23 Have I Met any Celebrities- nope

24 Baths or Showers- showers duh, they’re good for so many things: crying, hair washing, pretending you’re standing in the rain,

25 What Color Socks am I Wearing- striped gray with blue owls (yes they are lit)

26 Have I Ever Been Famous- uh no

27 Would I Like to be a Celebrity?- sometimes I think it would be cool because if I make a lot of money I could help a lot of people, but usually no because having privacy is important to me

28 What Type of Music do I like- pretty much anything but acoustic versions have always had a special place in my heart

29 Have I Ever Been Skinny Dipping?- no gross

30 How Many Pillows do I Sleep With- one on each end of the bed so I can flip upside down and still have a pillow

31 What Position do I Sleep in-

(It’s comfy)

32 How Big is My House- two main floors, attic, basement

33 What do I Have for Breakfast- usually nothing, either because I slept through the normal breakfast time or because I didn’t have time to eat

34 Have I Ever Fired a Gun- no

35 Have I Ever Tried Archery?- Hell yeah I did, summer camp was a wild time almost shot someone in the face

36 Fav Clean Word- twilight

37 Fav Swear Word- fuck

38 Longest I’ve Ever Went Without Sleep- forty eight hours (those were two of the best days of my life btw)

39 Do I Have Any Scars- yeah

40 Have I Ever Had a Secret Admirer- nope but I wish

41 Am I a Good Liar- fantastic, actually

42 Am I a Good Judge of Character- what,, what does this mean??

43 Can I do Any Accents- I can do a really terrible British accent but nobody likes it

44 Do I Have a Strong Accent- nope

45 What is my Favorite Accent- Australian

46 What is my personality type- on the Myers Briggs test I’m an Adventurer (it’s creepily spot on, I highly recommend taking it)

47 My Most Expensive Piece of Clothing- Are vans clothing? If so my blue high top vans that I fucking adore. If not, probably my adidas shorts or something

48 Can I Curl My Tongue- I can do the classic fold in half one and the three leaf clover. look it up, it’s cool as hell

49 Am I am Innie or an Outie- innie

50 Right or Left Handed- right, but I’m ambidextrous when playing golf and I play lacross lefty

51 Am I Scared of Spiders- a little, not a phobia

52 Favorite Food- pears or frozen yogurt

53 Favorite Foreign Food- sushi

54 Am I a Clean or Messy Person- tbh it fluctuates but mostly clean. Like I myself am clean but my room is a wreck yknow

55 Most Used Phrase- “oh shit”

56 Most Used Word- oof

57 How Long do I Take to Get Ready- ten minutes, fifteen tops and five minimum

58 Do I Have an Ego- I don’t think so?

59 Do I Suck or Bite Lolipops- bite

60 Do I Talk to Myself- sometimes, it’s usually just strings of curse words

61 Do I Sing to Myself- yeah on occasion

62 Am I a Good Singer- no but my friends seem to think so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

63 Biggest Fear- losing everyone I care about/everyone I care about hating me

64 Am I a Gossip?- only if it’s not something serious and only to my closest friend

65 Best Dramatic Movie I’ve Seen- schindlers list, haven’t seen the whole thing (I’m kinda scared to) but it looks incredible even though it’s so horrific

66 Do I Like Long or Short Hair- I don’t really care, but I do kind of like longer hair on other people (i.e I like girls) (yes girls with short hair are awesome too but long/medium length hair is just.. yeah.)

67 Can I Name all 50 Stares of America- I could when I was 8 but now I can only list like 10

68 Favorite School Subject- English

69 (haha) Extrovert or Introvert- introvert

70 Have I Ever Been Scuba Diving- no and I don’t think I’d want to

71 What Makes Me Nervous- talking to people I don’t know

72 Am I Scared Of The Dark- not really. unless I like hear a noise and start imagining all the possible causes of the noise and freak myself out

73 Do I Correct People When They Make Mistakes- yeah sometimes, but I try to do it as nicely as I can (unless I don’t like the person *cough* my brother *cough*)

74 Am I Ticklish- yes. very.

75 Have I Ever Started a Rumor- no, but people thought I did and that was a whole mess

76 Have I Ever Been in a Position of Authority- I mean I was a captain when we played kickball in gym (does that count)

77 Have I Ever Drank Underage- nope, and I don’t intent to

78 Have I Ever Done Drugs- nope, and I don’t intend to

79 Who Was My First Real Crush- olivia, fifth grade. I pretended I had a crush on the guy next to her so I could stare at her and pretend I was looking at him

80 How Many Piercings Do I Have- none

81 Can I Roll My Rs- no matter how hard I try I can never seem to get the hang of it. and I’ve tried, believe me, I sound like an idiot every time but I still try

82 How Fast Can I Type- 135 wpm

83 How Fast Can I Run- Moderately fast, but not for very long

84 What Color is My Hair- dirty blonde

85 What Color Are My Eyes- they switch between gray, green, and blue, but they’re mostly a combination of all three with green being the most noticeable (I ask people this question a lot and they usually say blue or green)

86 What am I Allergic to- nothing I’m invincible.

87 Do I Keep a Journal- yup, eight years and counting. fun fact my first entry ever was a full two and a half pages about dolphin facts, complete with a picture

88 What do My Parents do- my moms a vet, idk what my dad does (it’s something with pharmaceuticals I think)

89 Do I Like My Age- eh on the one hand I can say I’m a teen but on the other people are like “omg!!! babey???? ur a babey omfg..”

90 What Makes Me Angry- when people are condescending or hypocritical

91 Do I Like My Name- I hate my first name (irl it’s not alex but I’ll probably end up changing it) and I hate my last name (long story) but I kinda like my middle name cuz it reminds me of Six

92 Have I Thought if Baby Names, if so What Are They- idk I’d probably name them after my friends (i.e hailey, lander, flan, drew, finn, that’s about it)

93 Do I Want a Boy or Girl For a Child- first of all when did I say I wanted a child and second of all I don’t care

94 What Are My Strengths- shitposts

95 What Are My Weaknesses- dealing with emotions, controlling anger, handling criticism, there are definitely others but I’m tired okay

96 How Did I Get My Name- first name: bible, middle name: my great grandmother, last name: my dad

97 Were My Ancestors Royalty- not that I know of

98 Do I Have Any Scars- see #39

99 What Color is My Bedspread- I don’t have one but my sheet is dark blue

100 What Color is My Room- a light blue teal-ish color

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Frosty Returns REVIEW:

Hello there, everybody. My name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to the second review in my month long "Deviant-cember" special event. Christmas time is right around the corner and I don't know about you, but I'm loving it. Christmas is awesome! (No offence to any non Christian or non practicing readers out there. I'm sure your holidays are awesome to, I guess have no personal experience in that department.) The music, the decorations, the food, and the festive feeling of kindness towards your fellow man are all things that make this time of year so wonderful! But one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is all of the Christmas specials. I love Christmas specials. Every year I make it my personal mission to watch as many as I can, from classics like "Rudolph" and "Charlie Brown", to the more contemporary specials like "Olive the Other Reindeer" and "Yes, Virginia." And that's not even counting the really frickin' out there Christmas specials, like "T.I and Tiny's Holiday Hustle." an animated special about hip hop artist T.I. and his family having to team up with an elf in order to save Christmas. Yes, this exist! But that's a review for another day... 

(THIS EXISTS!)  Today, I want to talk about a different holiday special. A holiday special that features significantly less hip hop and also significantly less holiday. That special would be the 1992 animated tv special "Frosty Returns."

"Frosty Returns" is the a um....sequel?.....Reboot?.....Cash grab? -Of the original Rankin-Bass Frosty special from 1969. This special, however, was not created by Rankin-Bass, but rather Broadway Video's and directed by Bill Melendez. Bill Melendez is most well known for his work on the four theatrical Charlie Brown movies, and this special shares a similar art style to those old Peanuts cartoons.  I'm going to be honest here, while I do like the original Frosty the Snowman special, it was always one of the lesser Rankin-Bass holiday specials in my opinion. Like it's not bad or anything, and I use to like it a lot more when I was younger, but it just seems kinda bland compared to some of the other specials. In the original special Frosty was never a super interesting character, and Karen had even less personality then Frosty. The overall story, at least in my opinion, was never super enticing. I guess I've just always been more of a "Santa Claus is comin' to Town." type of guy. Now I don't hate the special by any means, I watch it ever year, and there are stuff in it worth watching. Professor Hinkle is a fun villain, the scene with Frosty melting is genuinely sad, and it's really fun seeing the original crew just go completely bonkers with the sound effects. (Though that part I don't think was intentional.) Sorry if I piss off any die hard Frosty fans out there, (I'm looking at you, little brother!) but I just felt like I needed to show my background with the original Frosty the Snowman special before I start talking about this special. Does this special hold up to the original, or is it just a pale imitation of a true holiday classic? Let's find out together, shall we.  The special begins with our weird uncanny valley narrator. A weird uncanny valley narrator is a Frosty the Snowman tradition at this point, and is usually some kind of celebrity who was popular at the time of the specials release. The original Frosty has Jimmy Durante, "Frosty's Winter Wonderland" had Andy Griffith, and this special has Johnathan Winters. Just like director of the Amazing Spider-man films Marc Webb, I'm pretty sure he was only chosen because of his name. Now while all of the Frosty narrator's (with exception of the one from "Legends of Frosty the Snowman.") have fallen into the uncanny valley, the narrator in this special takes the fricking cake! While the other narrators looks a least a little human, Johnathan Winter's in this special looks like an actual gremlin! He's only a few inches tall, and floats around on snowflakes like some kinda sprite. And there's no explanation at all for his existence. He just happens to be like this and where suppose to just nod our heads and go along with it! Also he likes hot coco. This is very important.

Anyway he introduces us to the town of Beansboro, a small town that has just gotten covered with seven inches of snow. We get a brief musical number where all the kids sing about how much the love the snow, and all the adults sing about how much they hate it. The kids love the snow because of all of the fun they get to have in it, while the adults don't like the snow because they have to shovel it, it raises heating bills, makes it harder to drive around, ect. The song is rather good, and but we'll get into this specials music a bit later. After the song is finished we meet our main character Holly DeCarlo and her best friend, Charles. Holly is a shy girl who dreams of becoming a magician, while Charles is a the stereotypical nerd archetype, and kinda looks like a genderbent Marcy from the Peanuts specials. Holly is sad because she was not "invited" to go play in the snow. Now living in the south, I'm far from an expert on snow, but is snow the type of thing you need to get "invited" to? If all the tv specials I've seen has taught me anything I think you just kinda...go out there. All kidding aside though, I get it. She's sad because she has nobody asked to go play with her. I'm just saying, they phrasing is kinda strange.  Then Charles asks Holly if she wants to go outside and build a...fertility goddess? Um...as I just stated, I'm far from an expert on snow, but is that something kids do on snow days that I was just blissfully unaware of? Also Is Charles a Pagan? Not the belief system I would expect from somebody who, as the special is going to continually bring up, is a man of logic and does not believe in anything that he cannot solve with logic. Well I for one appreciate the religious diversity this special presents. Bout' time we get a Pagan character in children's media without society making a big deal about it! That's what I say!

pictured Demeter, our Holy Jolly Fertility Goddess.)  Anyway, Holly decides that instead of doing...that, she'd rather practice her magic for the magic act because Holly is going to be preforming her magic act during the annual winter carnival in front of the entire town. Holly tells Charles to get into a box and then she gets out the saw. Oh geez, I think this specials about to get a bit dark. Holly doesn't even have another box attached to the box that Charles is in. And the box isn't even closed! Holly clearly has no idea what she's doing and Charles is going to pay the ultimate price for it. This is about to become a very red Christmas.  But luckily before Charles goes off to meet Persephone, he asks Holly to open a window because it's hot inside the box. Then a giant gust of wind blows in the room and Holly loses her magic hat. And by giant gust I mean, I pretty sure there's a class five hurricane going on outside and those kids really need to get inside. I mean the wind is strong enough to spin Charles' box around at ridiculous speeds.  So then Holly decides to chase after her hat and-HEY WAIT HOLLY, WHAT ABOUT CHARLES?! You're just going to leave him spinning in that box until he vomits, just to go get your stupid hat? It's called priorities Holly, Jesus Christ!

(Bye Charles, thanks for letting me nearly saw you in half!)  Holly chases after the hat, and for one brief close up shot we see that Johnathan Winter's is riding the hat. I do not get this. What is the point? Is he guiding the hat to Frosty, or is he just riding it just cause? Holly trails behind the hat, (as it seems this wind managed to blow the hat not only out of Holly's room, but out of Holly's house somehow and down the block. Can the hat open doors?) She bumps into her school teacher, and the teacher talks about how much she hates the snow. There's not much to this scene other then driving the point home that the adults hate snow. After that scene Holly finds the hat it's on the head of a snowman, who just happens to be alive. This is Frosty, this time played by John Goodman, who honestly I really like in this role. He has a very kind and welcoming voice, and it's a lot less "bumbling" sounding then the other Frosty voice actors. Not that I'm trying to knock those voice actors or anything, I'm just saying.  Holly tries to introduce herself to Frosty, but Frosty already knows who she is because in Frosty's own words she's a "famous" magician. While yes, this doesn't actually make any sense as an answer I actually really like this scene. Frosty in this special is a lot wiser then he was in the previous Frosty specials, and that's something I really like. Like for example, Holly mentions that she doesn't have any friends other then Charles, and Frosty tells her "Having one friend is a lot more than having no friends." It's a really nice sentiment and a good message for the kids, and to anybody really.  Holly's mom walks in and Frosty goes all Toy Story and stops talking or moving because...Well look, if "Toy Story didn't have to explain it then why should this special have to? Oh, there's also a funny joke where Holly's mom calls Holly out for abandoning Charles, saying that he's going to end up "needing to join a support group." Holly's mom talks about how she just bought this brand new product called "Summer Wheeze." the least marketable name for the product ever devised. This product is like a can of aerosol spray that can make snow disappear in seconds! Holly's mom's friend shows up and they start talking like there in an infomercial for the spray. Holly's mom's friend ends up spraying Frosty a bit, causing him to yell. And conveniently nobody seems to hear or acknowledge the snowman's screams of pain.  We then transition to the board room of the company that makes Summer Wheeze, and here we meet our villain, Mr. Twitchell and his pet cat, Bones. Mr. Twitchell is a crotchety old curmudgeon played by Brian Doyle-Murray. He's best known for playing Captain K'nuckles in "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack" and The Flying Dutchman in "Spongebob." He's also the older brother of actor Bill Murray! I know, it's crazy! He gives a great performance in this special.  Now let me lay out Mr. Twitchell's evil plan in this special. It's a pretty complex plan, so try to follow along.  Step 1) Make the town love him by getting rid of all of the snow.  Step 2) Get rid of all the snow.  Step 3) Have the town make him their King out of gratitude.  Um......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxYUxqcg1Q

  I swear to high heaven, Mr. Twitchell makes this special. He's so over the top and ridiculous that it's near impossible not to love it. Then, when one of his employees points out the environmental concerns he has his James Bond style cat press a button that activates a trap door under that employees' desk! This villain, man, this villain! He then has his cat, Bones, release an army of trucks to spray the entire town with Summer Wheeze! Let the snowman genocide begin!

 By the way, this Summer Wheeze thing must really be a labor of love from Mr. Twitchell. I mean as far as I can tell he's releasing these cars for free. All that Wheeze there using is coming out of his bottom line, unless the town is paying him to use these trucks or something. Then again, I don't think this guy has really thinks through most of the stuff he does. I mean why would anybody buy Summer Wheeze if the company is spraying peoples yard's for free.  The next day, Holly decides to keep Frosty in her Freezer until after she comes home from school. What I want to know is what would happen if Holly's mom needed to open the freezer at any point during the day and just saw a talking snowman in there, but that's a question this special doesn't want to answer for us! Also there's a bit where she has to take some turkey out of her freezer to make room for Frosty, then she put's the turkey into her backpack in her rush to get to school on time. Then during class the teachers ask why she has turkey in her desk and she says its for lunch. The teacher tells her to put it away unless she wants to present it as a science project. Holly then, really sincerely sounding, says that she does intend to use the turkey as a science project. It's hard to explain in post form but it's a really confusing bit. Did she intend to bring the turkey or not? Was she intending to use the turkey for her science project or was that just a lie for the teacher? She didn't sound like she was lying. I don't get it. This is another question the special doesn't want to answer for us!  Charles is giving a science report about snow, and the environmental importance snow has on the world. Well, it was the nineties, so it was really a matter of time before we got some kind of environmental message. One of the kids interrupts Charles, saying that snow isn't important and his dad says that it gives you heart attacks. (Charles remarks that the kids dad may be confusing snow with chili dogs, another funny joke.) And all the kids start talking about how happy they are that all the snow is melting, so they can do more summer time stuff, like having picnics and volleyball games all year round. Charles points out how snow is important to the environment but none of the kids listen.  There are a lot of logical problems with this scene. One, why do all the kids suddenly hate the snow. I know kids can be fickle but earlier in the special the kids love the snow, and that scene took place, like, the day before this scene takes place. Second, I don't get why Charles is so concerned about the environmental aspect of the Wheeze. I mean yeah, it's an aerosol spray so in that regard it's bad for the environment, but if it's just melting the ice it shouldn't be that big a deal right? Again, I'm no snow expert, but snow melts naturally anyway, and this spray is just speeding up the process. One of the environmental benefits of snow that Charles brings up is a source of fresh water, but if the spray is melting the snow it's still making the fresh water, unless the spray itself is contaminating the water. Or unless the snow isn't melting and it's just disappearing, in which case Mr. Twitchell found a way to destroy matter itself, which I think is the much bigger deal here. This special makes a big deal about how important snow is, and while I know different parts of the world are different and have different environmental needs, there are tonnes of places all over the world where it doesn't snow and those places are fine. As long as the snow is still melting things should be fine. And again, maybe there's something in the spray that is bad for the environment, but the special really treats it like it's the absence of snow that's the problem, not the contaminated water supply. Also third, just because the snow is melting doesn't mean that it'll suddenly be a year long summer! The spray isn't actually increasing the temperature of the air! (Well, I mean it is slowly, because of the aerosol, but you'd need to spray a lot of that stuff to make a hole in the ozone layer big enough to create an endless summer.) I mean I've only seen snow twice in my life, but I've still experienced winters! (Though last year it was over eighty degrees on Christmas. That sucked.)  Anyway, Holly goes to talk to Frosty, who has left the freezer and is now staying at the winter carnival's ice castle. She tells him about how everybody wants to get rid of all the snow, and how she was to scared to speak out against them. Frosty tells her that it's okay, and gives her some advice on how to be less shy and timid....in the form of a song!  The song is actually really good, and one of the most memorable part of the special. I mean, yeah, it does continue to shoe horn in the whole "snow is the most important thing, snow is love snow is life" theme the special has been doing this whole time, and the moral of "when your to scared to talk to someone just sing" is a pretty weird lesson, but dang it the song is really darn catchy! I really feel this is underappreciated Christmas/winter song that really deserves more appreciation! At least until we get to the part where Mr. Twitchell get's his dark reprise verse, and it's basically a weird....rap....I think? That's amazing for completely different reasons!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6PnTmyYT6w

(Also this is unrelated but why does Frosty have a human nose? He says early in the special that once some kid stole his nose to play hacky sack so is it suppose to be a hacky sack? Why does it look so human-ish?)    Anyway after the song Charles meets up with Holly and Frosty. At first Charles believes that Frosty is some kind of robot, but Frosty (rather quickly I may add) convinces him that he is a real talking snowman. But then Mr. Twitchell shows up in him limousine and see's Frosty. Naturally, Mr. Twitchell is not at all phased by the talking and walking snowman, and is more concerned with Frosty spreading snow onto his sidewalks. So he does the "logical" thing and sends his pet CAT out to destroy Frosty with a can of Summer Wheeze. SURPRISINGLY this does not end up working. This is what happens when your cat is your elite henchman.  Though the cat is able to spray frosty enough to make a massive hole in his chest. Holly is concerned, because there's barely enough snow on the ground to fix Frosty....except for the fact that that isn't true, at all! There is still plenty of snow, just look around you!

 But despite the fact that there is still snow all over the place Charles decides to go get some snow that he was saying and pack it all into Frosty. Then they decide to finally do something about mean old Mr. Twitchell. Mr. Twitchell decides to attend the Winter Carnival, and melt all of the snow, cementing himself as the towns hero and future king. Sure, why not. Mr. Twitchell goes on stage so he can be crowned king of the Winter Carnival, when Holly goes on stage to call him out. She talks about how important snow is but Mr. Twitchell is unfazed and unrepentant. So Holly decides to unveil  Frosty in front of the whole town and, Hey wait a minute!

Frosty is alive without the hat! That's not allowed! Unless this takes place after "Frosty's Winter Wonderland." Is this a reboot or a sequel?! HAX! I call HAX!  So anyway, Frosty decides to sing a reprise of his song to the towns people and everybody in the town immediately decides that they love snow again. No wonder Mr. Twitchell thought he could become this towns king, this is the most easily swayed town in the world! Everybody in town rejoices at the magical talking snowman that nobody questions the existence of. Mr. Twitchell decides to get into one of his weird Summer Wheeze spraying vans and, because he's Mr. Twitchell, decides to let the cat drive. This goes about as well as you'd expect.

FRICKIN' REK'D SON!

I kid of course, Mr. Twitchell survives the crash Holly and Frosty shows him some kindness by giving him the Winter Carnival crown and taking him on a sled ride. Frosty then tells Holly that it's time for him to leave, as he wants to go to another town to help another kid. Holly hugs Frosty and wishes him goodbye and the special ends with weird Johnathan Winters/Mr. Mxyzptlk hybrid telling us that Mr. Twitchell decided to change his ways and go into the sled making business. This change of heart lasted a total of four days until, at the age of one hundred and ten, Mr. Twitchell died in his home and his body was eaten by his cat, Bones. The End.  So in conclusion, is the special good? Well that depends on your perspective. On a technical aspect the special is not very well made. The animation isn't very good, with the exception of one scene early on in the special where Johnathan Winter's is actually animated very fluidly. But other then that you can see that this special doesn't have much of a budget. There are a lot of plot points in the special that either don't make sense or only make sense because the characters are so stupid. Also, while the environmental/"snow is totes awesome" moral isn't as heavy handed as I remembered them being, there still pretty heavy handed. Also, this isn't flaw or anything, the background music has a real "Rugrats" vibe to it. I'm not knocking it, but I really wonder if that show and this special had the same music director or something.  All that being said the special isn't awful either. There's a lot of stuff to like. It has an excellent voice cast, not just in John Goodman and Brian Doyle-Murray, but also Holly's voice actress, Elisabeth Moss. She was only ten at the time this special was made, but her voice really adds a good level of sincerity to the role. Also while Holly is still a fairly generic character she's still more interesting then Karen. I don't know if the Frosty purist will agree with me on this, but that's really how I feel. Holly has an arc, she starts of timid and shy, but in the end ends up standing up to the villain head on. Also I like how Frosty is characterized. He's a lot wiser, and much more comforting. This probably has a lot to do with John Goodman's performance, but I think the writing had a bit to do with it to. This special has a really catchy song and a really hammy villain in the form of Mr. Twitchell. The other Frosty specials don't have Mr. Frickin' Twichell. So that's a plus in this specials favor.  Overall, while I'm not sure if this is an objectively better special than the original, I know I definitely enjoy it more. Sure, it's was most likely made as a cash in on the Frosty brand, but it's an enjoyable cash in! While this special probably has higher highs and lower lows that the original special, at least it's not boring. If your looking for a more well made holiday special with good animation, interesting characters, and a good holiday lesson this special is probably not for you. But if you want a weird, so bad it's good type of special that does have some legitimately good parts in it, even if the special as a whole isn't the greatest, then I highly recommend it! Check it out if you haven't seen it, and come to your own conclusion.  So that's my review of "Frosty Returns." But if you think where done with Frosty the Snowman, oh how wrong you are. Join me next Friday, as I tackle the other Frosty sequel that wasn't make by Rankin-Bass, "Legend of Frosty the Snowman." Because, to quote Notorious rapper Biggie Smalls "Mo' Frosty, Mo Problems." Have you seen Frosty Returns, and what do you think of it? I'd love to hear your opinion, even if it's completely  different from mine. I'd love to start a conversation. What's your favorite Frosty special, or just holiday special in general. If you have any suggestions for stuff for me to review in the future leave it in a comment down bellow, and I might look into it. Please fav, follow, and comment if you liked the review, and have a great day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Frosty-Returns-REVIEW-651578677 DA Link

[sharyrazade]

Day -320

I’m gonna do something a little different here; part writing practice, part shameless self-promotion, and part gauging interest in future projects I’m playing with, I’m gonna start posting previews- excerpts from projects of mine.

While technically a flashback in-story, here, we’ve got Makoto and Yuuki in marriage counseling in the Children of Men!verse; so you know how big a dumpster fire that relationship was.

Tapping his fingers against his tablet nervously, Kentaro Masamura, while never a religious man in the slightest, prayed silently for one half of the estranged couple to at least begin to speak. Even if their first instinct was to explode on each other- he’d seen that with more than his share of couples in his line of work and he was trained to defuse said situations. But this tension- this unspoken enmity between in the room was enough to (figuratively) choke an elephant.

Fuck it, I can’t take this anymore. “So, first things first.” Masamura began, his tone unnaturally cordial. “When did you first begin to notice problems in your marriage? Mrs. Mishima, why don’t we begin with you?”

“Ms. Niijima.” Makoto corrected sternly, only glancing at her estranged husband through the corner of her eye. “And I couldn’t tell you; probably the day after the wedding.”

Yuuki scoffed in frustration, rolling his eyes. “Oh, yeah, why don’t we ask Makoto?” he began frustratedly. “After all, she knows EVERYTHING. Something she just LOVES making you aware of.”

Makoto grasped the couch’s armrest in irritation. “Well, Mister Tech Billionaire, I don’t see how it’s any different than those fancy cars you insist on driving or that penthouse you insisted on.”

At this, Yuuki’s expression was more angered than annoyed. “Only because you wouldn’t stop going on about how much you loved it!”

“I WAS TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE!”

The therapist rubbed his temples in exasperation. “I hear a lot of talking past one another, but no real communicating.” remarked Kentaro upon the obvious. “Mr. Mishima- since your wife already went, why don’t we get your thoughts on when the problems started?”

Somewhat cooled off, Yuuki exhaled in exasperation. “I’m going to say...about a couple of months in?” he said tentatively. “After the ‘honeymoon phase,’ appropriately enough. I guess I noticed Makoto putting in even more hours at work than usual- kinda like she was avoiding me.”

The brunette scoffed dismissively. “Please!” she remarked, a noticeable hint of defensive cruelty in her tone. “You knew my job wasn’t exactly a part-time thing when I started. If you were going to be such a baby about it, maybe you shouldn’t have married me.”

“Oh, THAT’S the understatement of my life!” Yuuki complained. “You know mom tried to warn me about you? I SHOULD have listened to her!”

“So even when she’s not here, you’re such a mama’s boy, you bring in your passive-aggressive cunt of a mother to fight your battles?”

“How fucking DARE you talk about her like that?! And that’s rich coming from the woman who spent the past ten years giving her ‘best friend’ the cold-bitch routine on a regular basis!”

Once again sensing an impasse (or rather an impeding cliff), Kentaro gave a series of exaggerated coughs to interrupt the couple. “This is getting us nowhere.” he said, again remarking on the obvious. “I’m just going to be blunt about this question- how are things between you two- you know, in the bedroom?”

Immediately, the therapist regretted breaching the topic; the cold, hostile glares shared by both husband and wife told him he’d just skipped gleefully into a goddamned minefield. “Okaayyyy...when did you first start having issues there?”

“The wedding night.” Makoto and Yuki said in reflexive unison.

The therapist was visibly taken aback by said candor. “Wow, okay. So what caused such a rocky start to your sex life?”

Yuuki shrugged. “Ah, you know, the usual-  it was always ‘I’m too tired,’ ‘I have a headache,’ or ‘maybe on the weekend.’ Basically, she’s a frigid, unavailable bitch.”

Makoto crossed her arms across her chest. “Maybe if you could stop being a thirsty little twerp for ten minutes, you could learn to take a hint. I actually am tired most of the time- it’s not JUST because you’re about as sexually appealing as that plant over there.”

Yuuki, while suspecting it on some level for some time now, wore an expression of genuine hurt at having Makoto’s true feelings confirmed by the woman herself. Kentaro, on the other hand, was justifiably perplexed. “Wait,” he began, furrowing his brow. “you NEVER discussed this kind of thing with each other?”

Both halves of the quarreling couple gave each other an equally-perplexed look before responding in kind once again. “No, never.” they both confirmed.

Kentaro scribbling away at his notes and becoming increasingly pessimistic as he did so, Makoto was the next to speak. “Besides, it’s not like you were suffering SO much.” she said carelessly. “We BOTH know you got plenty from those golddigging sluts all over you.”

Genuinely wounded and offended by this accusation, by this point, Yuuki was now more angry than anything. “Never, not once!” he exclaimed.

“Really? You never cheated once?”

“No! And that’s REAL fucking rich coming from you- remember when we went to Patong back in the summer?! The first actual orgasm you had in this marriage, you called me Akira, for fuck’s sake! And that’s not even getting into why we’re here in the first place!”

“It was a slip of the tongue and you KNOW it, you tiny little man!”

As a marriage counselor, Kentaro was privy to quite a bit about the lives of his clients, but it was still at their own discretion- understandably, he was feeling quite lost now that other names were being dropped. “Wait, who’s Akira, again?” he inquired.

Yuuki was still quite offended by his wife’s casual assertions of his infidelity- as though it were a given. Particularly hypocritical given the situation with a certain lady friend of hers, he fumed. For all those romantic, chivalrous-sounding vows they shared, Yuuki could feel his blood boiling- after all the pain and insecurities he’d shared with his wife, only to have her blurt them back in an effort to consciously belittle him-  No, he wanted to hurt this woman sitting next to him.

“A mutual friend of ours who Makoto spent the past fifteen years carrying a torch for.” he informed smugly. “Got involved with another mutual friend of ours about as long ago and married her- Makoto’s been a condescending, passive-aggressive bitch to her ‘best friend’ ever since.”

Her expression momentarily betraying her wound at this divulging of some of her dirtiest social laundry, Makoto quickly reverted to a couple of her tried-and-true responses, among them her rather aloof default expression.

“Well, it can’t be THAT great a marriage.” she remarked snidely, wanting to change the subject but feel some self-righteousness from her venting. “You know he- they bring other women into their bedroom sometimes, right? Doesn’t sound a man too happy in his marriage if you ask me.”

Yuuki scowled, not having nearly the emotional skin as his wife did in this game. “What makes you so sure it’s for him?” he barbed, glowering at Makoto. “She was pretty upfront about being bisexual with him- kinda important information to have going in, you think?”

“Wait, hold on-” interrupted Kentaro, holding a hand up. “We’re discussing YOUR marriage right now- not theirs.”

At this statement, Makoto lost her composure, shooting upright and looming over her husband angrily. “Oh, and here we go!” she complained. “Yes, I fucked my best girlfriend and left you for her! Yes, I admit it! And you know something, I’d do it again! And again! And again! Do you know why? Because you know something about Haru? She is kind, she’s loyal, she’s humble, she’s caring- all for the sake of it! Everything you’re not! And by the way, she’s more of a man and lover than you could EVER be!”

“If I’m so pathetic and disgusting to you,” Yuuki raged. “why did you even bother to show up today?!”

“I don’t know! I’ve made so many mistakes with you, that would just be the latest!”

“Then why don’t you just get the hell out?!”

“MAYBE I WILL!”

“GOOD! Go on back to your poor little rich girl and your snotty, pretentious cafes, and your weekends in Paris and- whatever it is the fuck you two do to each other every night!”

Even before Makoto stormed from the office, slamming the door behind her, as a therapist and professional in general, it was pretty clear to Kentaro Masamura that he’d lost control of the situation completely the second their friend Akira came up- it had been undeniable once the word “bisexual” entered into the conversation.

Having cooled down somewhat, Yuuki sighed tiredly. “Sorry about that, doc.” he said apologetically. “What do I owe you for all the sessions- I kinda think this was a wash.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Kentaro replied.

“Nah, I insist- I subjected you to the oil fire that is my marriage, I’m going to compensate you for it.”

Hmm, an “oil fire.” That was a pretty good way of describing that utter disaster, the therapist conceded to himself. Kentaro Masamura did this job because he genuinely did believe in trying to preserve relationships when possible. Trying to preserve this one however, was not so much rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic- it was more attempting to bail out the ship with a drinking glass- from the bottom of the Atlantic.

[smnthchrstn]

Hiii 🤗 since you asked me to do all the evens for the question thingy, It's only fair I ask the same 😉 plus your my wife now so I got to get to know you more, right? 😅🖤

2: what’s your least favorite holiday?

thanksgiving. (the food is okay, but otherwise i think it’s a load of shit.)

4: do you have allergies?

i’m not allergic to anything, but i think my allergies act up in the spring.

6: how often do you use chapstick?

i used it a lot during my last relationship, but that kinda ended too. with that being said, i literally own like 20 different kinds that i won’t use now haha

8: would you travel to another planet?

i don’t think so.

10: your scariest story?

when i was a kid i lived in an old house that had a lot of history to it. needless to say i’ve got a few childhood paranormal stories to tell. that’s it.

12: scarf or hat?

oh hat

14: preferred weather?

i like those days when it’s raining but the sun’s still shining. i hate the cold.

16: favorite song you’ve recently discovered?

she’s a rainbow by the rolling stones. i somehow didn’t know about this song and now every time i hear it i feel like i’m in the coven.

18: someone who’s changed your life?

honestly this sounds so dumb but all my writing partners and mutuals and followers. you guys helped to pull me out (it’s an ongoing process) of a major depression and truly don’t know what i’d be doing without you guys. things got dark there lol

20: why do you hate ____? (your choice)

i hate spiders because they have several legs and they’re always crawling on my shit and that’s just not appropriate to do in someone’s home.

22: would you rather live in antarctica or the sahara desert?

the sahara desert sounds a little lonely, i guess antarctica at least i’d meet a penguin there.

24: are you religious?

i do believe in God and i pray on a regular basis, but wouldn’t consider myself religious. (as in, church functions etc.)

26: tea or coffee?

tea

28: have you ever used tarot cards?

i have not

30: telekinesis or telepathy?

telekinesis, i’m lazy

32: do you have a full length mirror?

no thank God lol

34: what’s something that no one outside of tumblr knows?

honestly, i have no idea i’m kind of an open book.

36: how long have you had your most recent blog?

i’ve had this blog since 2017.

38: fuzzy socks or oversized sweaters?

sweaters. also a fan of the fuzzy socks though

40: what’s your favorite joke?

i don’t have one, i’m very boring so i’ll post a meme i like instead.

42: do you have any siblings?

nope!

44: floral scents or warm scents?

warm

46: something you’re proud of?

my writing. the ability i have to seem like i know what i’m talking about at work.

48: favorite picture you or someone else has taken of you?

ooh cover your eyes guys you’re about to see my face for the first time.

50: something you’ve done that’s out of your comfort zone?

most things. starting at my job was alarming because i had to pretend to know what the hell was going on all the time

52: do you play any instruments?

i played the recorder several years ago (i used to be able to play my heart will go on) and i took flute lessons but could never blow in the thing correctly (big lol)

54: favorite word?

lately i have really appreciated the word fuck. but i also use literally a lot. 

56: are you a meat eater, vegetarian, pescatarian, or vegan?

i eat some meat, chicken. but usually it’s vegan meat alternatives with an otherwise vegetarian diet

58: one thing you wish existed?

a way to print out things you buy on the internet.

60: favorite story you read as a kid?

my favorite picture book as a kid was “a mother for choco” it was a book about a parrot that’s looking for his mom so a bear adopts him and a bunch of other baby animals. i was a very big fan of a series of unfortunate events for many years, so i also wanna say the first book in the series is one i read many times.

62: what’s an addiction of yours?

lately it’s been coca cola. idk what it is about it i just love it.

64: wand or crystal ball?

crystal ball.

66: fruits or vegetables?

fruits

68: something you’ve excelled in?

gif making. i feel pretty good about that these days

70: have you ever bought a yearbook?

yes

72: favorite thing about your personality?

i’m a funny bitch. jk, i mean i kind of am i say a lot of stupid shit and i think that i try for the most part to be myself unapologetically. that’s taken me a long time to do.

74: who would you bring with you on an adventure?

anyone willing to come for the ride.

76: have you ever met a celebrity?

i’ve met a lot of band members, like a lot a lot. i’ve also met mitchel musso (does he act anymore i have no idea)

78: favorite extracurricular class you’ve taken?

choir.

80: if you were given 1 million dollars and you could only spend it on five things, what would you spend it on?

buy my mom whatever she wants, charity, traveling, money in savings, and self publishing.

82: do you keep books in your room?

yes

84: what natural disaster are you most afraid of?

o boy, tornado

86: whales or dolphins?

dolphins.

88: would you rather live alone or with a friend?

probably with someone else, as long as i still had my space.

90: do you keep letters and holiday cards?

yes, always

92: favorite video game?

the sims 2!!!

94: have you ever broken a promise?

probably, but i try not to make promises i can’t keep.

96: first word that comes to your mind?

fraud

98: what’s something that puts you at ease?

listening to fleetwood mac lol

[sweet-sugar-sunsets]

100 questions

I was tagged by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold and @puzzlingsnark aka my faves

1. What is your nickname? well when I was younger it was little red, but it was later revoked after I went through a growth spurt. my friends jokingly call me anuswrath because it sounds similar to my last name. my niece calls me mimi

2. How old are you? I am regretfully fifteen

3. What is your birth month? Septemper

4. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo. I don’t know that sun and moon crap

5. What is your favorite color? yellow

6. What’s your lucky number? 23

7. Do you have any pets? yup I have a golden lab named Liza Jane

8. Where are you from? Louisiana

9. How tall are you? 5’ 6"

10. What shoe size are you? 9 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? probably like 10

12. Are you random? yes absolutely

13. Last person you texted? my best friend (he’s trying to set me up with his ex)

14. Are you psychic in any way? yeah when I was little I had dreams that could tell the future occasionally and i used to talk to ghosts (i was weird)

15. Last TV show watched? i just finished the newest fosters episode

16. Favorite movie? Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, Clueless

17. Favorite show from your childhood? suite life of zach and cody (i still occasionally watch the reruns)

18. Do you want children? no unless my spouse does

19. Do you want a church wedding? no.

20. What is your religion? nuthin

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yeah I broke my neck in fourth grade in karate class (I’m fine now just had to wear a neck brace for a year and sacrifice my pride) when I was really little (k-2nd grade) I had really bad asthma and had a couple surguries (none of them helped)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? no, which is surprising becaue i do a lot of illegal stuff (dont arrest me)

23. How is life? meh

24. Baths or showers? both, showers when I’m short on time, baths when I want to treat myself

25. What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous? when I was little I did local commercial acting but other than that nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? yeah lowkey im an attention whore

28. What type of music do you like? alternative and indie, some rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? yeah with my friends last weekend

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep with two behind my head, three stuffed between my bed and the wall and four at my feet

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I toss and turn all night

32. How big is your house? pretty decent four bedrooms three bathrooms two stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? fried egg and black coffe during school, whatever’s available during the summer

34. Have you ever left the country? unfortunately no

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes! I did archery all the time in my yard. until I almost impaled my neighbor’s dog

36. Do you like anyone? I’m currently in love with my best friend but he is currently setting me up with his aforementioned ex so that’s not gonna go anywhere

37. Favorite swear word? dick, bullshit, any variation of fuck

38. When do you fall asleep? 1, 3 if i dont force myself to go to sleep

39. Do you have any scars? I had rocks embedded in my knees as a kid so i have those scars (you can also feel the rocks its kinda cool they never took them out) I crushed my ankle in a golfcart accident last year so I have those too

40. Sexual orientation? bi for now but i like girls more. the only guy i’ve liked in a while is my best friend

41. Are you a good liar? absolutely

42. What languages would you like to learn? latin and spanish (both of which i’m learning now)

43. Top 10 songs? oof ok: run for cover, the killers; float on, modest mouse; i can’t quit, the vaccines; ribs, lorde; cigarette daydreams, cage the elephant; youth, glass animals; miracle mile, cold war kids; saturday sun, vance joy; jackie and wilson, hozier, sleep on the floor, the lumineers

44. Do you like your country? no but im not gonna get into it on here because i am young and dont have fully formed opinions yet

45. Do you have friends from the web? yes and i love them more than my real friends sometimes

46. What is your personality type? creative, lazy, rebellious

47. Hogwarts House? ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? no im such a disapointment

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? lowkey murphey from the 100, bc i come of as an asshole, never want to do anything, and the only contribution i ever make is snarky comments and bullshit jokes

50. Left or right handed? right because im basic

51. Are you scared of spiders? yes and all bugs

52. Favorite food? chinese food. i live laugh love chinese food

53. Favorite foreign food? ^^^^

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, you cant see the floor in my room

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? walk aroung at night. ugh the dream

56. What color underwear? pink and gray

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? an hour sometimes more when i procrastinate

58. Do you have much of an ego? no, but i do have self-esteem issues galore

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck until its tiny then i bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? yes. i am insane

61. Do you sing to yourself? yes. loudly. all the time. sometimes in public

62. Are you a good singer? semi. i sing backups in my band

63. Biggest Fears? all my friends secretly hate me

64. Are you a gossip? no gossip pisses me off. unless it’s celebrity gossip

65. Are you a grammar nazi? no, but i need one

66. Do you have long or short hair? I have hair to my shoulders

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? yeah i had to memorize them for the world geo final

68. Favorite school subject? english and art

69. Extrovert or Introvert? extrovert!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no but i want to 

71. What makes you nervous? when people dont talk to me for a long time

72. Are you scared of the dark? a little my house is haunted so

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? only if necessary

74. Are you ticklish? sometimes, which is weird

75. Have you ever started a rumor? yeah probably

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? nope!

77. Have you ever drank underage? yep last night

78. Have you ever done drugs? well the closest i’ve come is getting second hand high after making out with a girl who had just done a bunch of edibles at a party. i cant smoke or vape cuz of the asthma thing

79. What do you fantasize about? honestly 90% sex

80. How many piercings do you have? two in my ears

81. Can you roll your R’s? yes its the only thing im good at

82. How fast can you type? idk pretty fast but i have to go back and correct a lot

83. How fast can you run? i dont run

84. What color is your hair? red brown

85. What color are your eyes? shit brown

86. What are you allergic to? cats and milk

87. Do you keep a journal? i keep a poetry jounal and an astronomy journal but thats it

88. Are you depressed about anything? im just depressed in general

89. Do you like your age? no i feel to young

90. What makes you angry? my mother and my father, this one homophobic bitch that all my friends love

91. Do you like your own name? yeah ig. i wish it was more interesting tho

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? a gluestick in 1st grade dont judge

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? girl. boys have cooties

94. What talents do you have? I’m a writer, i play piano, guitar, ukelele, drums, cello, and trumpet

95. Sun or moon? moon

96. How did you get your name? my mom liked it what a loser

97. Are you religious? no i am very anti-religion

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? no but i need to

99. Color of your bedspread? turquoise sheets white comforter 

100. Color of your room? periwinkle walls with a black white and gold color scheme

tagging: @a-girl-or-maybe-a-ghost @bitchin-promises @mikeweezers @jane-el-hopper @nancykali

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Austin episode 4 reaction

part of me is laughing at the number of people in the Facebook comments asking, “Is this on Netflix?”

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Sad couch crew

I felt Tyler and Shay were being friendly to Megan here, not snide, at least on a superficial level. Though I guess you can take their excitement about the concert as passive-aggressiveness.

Tyler mentioning the Illuminati - how very Isak. TBH I really hope Julie is making both Shay and Tyler gay, since they’re dividing up the Isak moments between the two. I’m fine if Tyler doesn’t get the big season-long arc and it goes to Shay instead, I’d love to see her get it. But it’s just going to leave such a bad taste if they’ve made Isak into a wlw with no equivalent to the gay male representation that already existed, when there are many supposedly straight female characters who could be have been made into wlw. Especially the Vilde equivalent, who you could easily give a story about discovering and accepting her sexuality, or the Chris character, who didn’t have her own season and really didn’t have any substantial character issues suggested on the level of Vilde’s home life, and would benefit from a meaty arc. 

I love Shay, she’s definitely one of the highlights of the show, I’m just tired of all the fighting over whether it’s better for S3 to focus on a gay boy or a lesbian and seeing a lot of gross shit in the discussions that’s either minimizing the importance of an f/f storyline because homophobia is worse for men in Texas/lesbians don’t have it that bad/lesbians are already represented on TV because they’re accepted by straight men who find them sexy/someone doesn’t care about lesbians and will only accept Evak 2.0, or minimizing the importance of Evak/another m/m storyline because Skam and the other remakes already have gay ships so don’t get greedy/gay men are already accepted because look at all the m/m on Tumblr and AO3/people only want another Evak because they’re disgusting fetishizers. It’s fucked up how most of these talk relies on the assumption that there can be only one LGBT story on Skam at a time and not pushing back on why it goes without question that S1 and a hypothetical S2 about Grace/Daniel can both be about heterosexual relationships. 

Not to be one of those obnoxious people referencing YA novels in response to real life situations, but it makes me think of Katniss at the climax of Catching Fire when her group of Tributes is fighting the Career Tributes and she fires at the force field instead. Remember who the real enemy is. 

That’s a joke, don’t take that too seriously.

Anyway I’m tired. 

Considering how shitty he’s been acting previously, Tyler not laughing at Marlon’s comments and just deliberately eating a potato chip is a step up for him.

Speaking of the chips, they disappear in between shots and I guess Tyler could be putting the bag on the floor between takes or something but it looks like a regular old continuity error.

Marlon is a mega dick and I dislike him but I kinda can’t believe that I agreed with him about the team’s social standings vs. their practice time. But it was Marlon who said it so it sounded like a dick move.

See, he’s been such a dick that it’s hard to feel sorry for him! But also he’s in the right to feel hurt about the concert.

I don't have much to say except he is the least convincing person to be talking about how he’s not upset and he doesn’t care. He’s so obviously pissed.

There’s just not a shred of chemistry between these two. I don’t get why they’re together, I don’t get what they like about each other, they barely seem to have much fun together. There isn’t much of a rapport.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: When this clip came out, I watched it on my phone at a graduation party, and I'm not kidding, in the few minutes while I was watching some middle-aged parents started talking about wanting to move to Texas when they retire, and they named cities and singled out Austin as a bad choice because “it’s been overtaken by liberals,” lmao. There was no way they could have realized I was watching a show set in Austin. The stars just aligned.

Clip 2 - Kelsey, no

Grace is really concerned about Kelsey sleeping with Daniel so soon, probably because what happened in her own past messed her up.

“Ever since I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl, I knew I was going to lose my virginity to a football player.” .... when I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl I only cared about seeing the commercials with the pretty horses.

“It was like he was going down on me, but in my mouth” … oh my God … someone SAVE this child.

Kelsey, you don’t even know what anyone going down on you in the “correct” place feels like, and this just makes you sound like inexperienced and Not Ready . And I’m glad Meg and Grace are suitably horrified.

Oh, they actually mentioned the issue of insurance, that’s good. But she looked a little uncomfortable with the topic of insurance, so if she has a similar financial situation to Vilde, insurance might be an issue? Or, as was hinted later via texts, she might have a super religious or conservative mom who would not take her to the doctor. She might be able to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control except I’m not sure if minors can get prescriptions for the pill without parental consent because well, Texas.

I checked out of curiosity and it looks like the only type of birth control you can get at PP without parental consent are condoms and lol, Grace already had that covered.

“You know you should use a condom, right?” “What if he doesn’t want to use a condom?” “Then you know you shouldn’t have sex with him.” YES. JESUS. Thank you Grace.

“I talked to Jo this weekend and I prayed about it last night” Oh come on, they’re going to have her mention praying about Zoya’s participation on the team and then not even address the sex-religion topic? Okay. Kelsey doesn’t even have to be abstinent or opposed to premarital sex, not all Christians are, I feel like it just makes sense for someone to be like, “Isn’t having sex before marriage against your religion?” And if Kelsey objected to the question on the grounds that they’re making assumptions about her religion, they could always come back at her with “Well, you assumed Muslims couldn’t dance.”

Kudos to Grace for talking sense about the Zoya situation and being very calm and careful about the Daniel thing.

Clip 3 - Backseat

The editing at the start of the clip made me think the mom might be talking to Megan at first but no, the mom is on her phone. Mom’s communication skills weren’t so great in this clip.

The dialogue is pretty on the nose and super specific to the theeeeeeme, with the mom putting all this implied pressure on Megan, but the passive aggressiveness about Megan’s dad is sadly accurate to how certain married-with-kids dynamics are, with the parents always at each other’s throats and dismissive of each other and not caring about how the kids react to these constant fighting. 

I saw some people wondering why Megan was sitting in the backseat and honestly, that didn’t seem too weird to me. It’s not typical but I’ve ridden in the backseat even when I was the only passenger before (usually because sometimes riding in the front seat makes me sick)  but I could see like, a moody teenager wanting to text her boyfriend and not wanting her mom to glance over at her phone. Although the simplest explanation is that Julie wants to hide the parents’ faces.

I didn’t even notice the giant concert posters at first, I was focused on the homeless man. I am assuming he was there to remind us of the stakes to succeed in this world if you’re much of a “dreamer” as Meg’s mom puts it, where if you don’t get a good job that can be you living on the streets, and to get a good job you need to get a degree from a good school, and to get a degree from a good school you need to perform well in high school, and if you make one mistake you are ruined, RUINED forever. 

Meg trying to ask her mom for relationship advice and instead getting reminded that her parents have a shit relationship, lovely. 

The difference in the tone between the coworker call and the dad call is very telling. Right off the bat, when the dad calls, the mom has a pissed-off attitude. They’re at the stage where they fight just to fight.

Also, note the guilt trip caused by the mom yelling at the dad for not remembering she was going to her friend’s (and like, who cares, I mean this might be part of a larger problem but this sounds like the pettiest shit to argue about) and saying people show they appreciate and support each other by listening and taking interest in their loves, when that’s exactly what Megan didn’t do (skipping Marlon’s show that he was so hyped for) and that’s how she feels she can make it up to him (by buying tickets to the concert he had mentioned).

And the mom says people show they care by listening when she doesn’t even listen to her own daughter and interrupts her when she’s trying to ask a question, and she’s definitely not paying attention to Megan’s life. Like, how is it that they can miss that she’s not on the dance team? Surely the team has some performances or competitions that they’d attend? Fundraisers? I can see them not attending all of Megan’s dance performances, but any of them? 

Megan’s mom is a piece of work, though I’m sure the dad plays his part in the dysfunction too, I don’t want to put it all on the mother.

Clip 4 - Straw

Franz Ferdinand???

Not that this is the point but I’m intrigued by this locker setup. But I am from a place with cold cold winters so the idea of having one of these lockers in January seems terrible.

I was curious if Kendrick Lamar was actually supposed to perform in Austin on Friday, so I checked it out, and lo and behold, it was a real concert. Good job, Skam Austin.

It kinda just makes me sad that THIS is how Meg gets Marlon’s attention again, by buying (probably) expensive concert tickets.

“you two are smashing in that bathroom by the nurse’s office” at least you’re nearby if you need offbeat advice and some condoms? Oh wait, this is Texas. Never mind the last one.

This is my chance to talk about how gross I find the word “smash” in any sexual context. It just sounds uncomfortable and makes me think of potatoes.

Shoutout to Tyler’s Prince shirt, certainly a unique wardrobe choice.

Man, Kelsey is just such an easy target. Especially with the way she talks, like-like-like … blood in the water. Tyler and Shay are not here for Kelsey and Jo right off the bat and once Kelsey opens her mouth, it’s doom.

At least Kelsey had the sense to keep Zoya on the team list even if it was for self-serving reasons.

I applaud these actresses for effort, but every version of the iconic spoon scene has felt forced compared to the original. Josefina, my darling, if you’re going to be seductive with your straw, you might wanna purse your lips instead of letting it roll around in and out of your mouth.

I think it’s great that Jo and Tyler spoke Spanish to each other, and that they didn’t have subtitles, but lol at the brazenness of asking that question right in front of Shay when Shay could possibly speak Spanish herself. Or lmao, anyone who has taken Spanish I could understand what she was saying. (Like what if Shay was his girlfriend? Kinda think Jo isn’t concerned with technicalities.)

Calling him jefe, lmao, wow.

Tyler referring to Kelsey as Drew Barrymore made me laugh. Do kids these days have a firm grasp on Drew Barrymore’s legacy? What has she been in recently other than Santa Clarita Diet?

Maybe instead of references to Romeo + Juliet, we can get allusions to Ever After, The Wedding Singer, or Never Been Kissed. (Maybe not that last one.)

Also, I’m glad Meg spoke up for Kelsey so they weren’t just bashing her new friends.

Clip 5 - Internet quizzes should not be used to make major life decisions

Zoya is just looking through a book while Kelsey is talking.

Some of Kelsey’s rules: 

“Always act classy”

“No cursing, fighting, messy hair or appearance” while wearing the uniform

“Positive vibes ONLY”

But yeah, here’s another example of why the dance team wasn’t the best way to adapt russ because like … of course Kelsey is being rude and ridiculous, and I can’t say I’m on her side against Zoya, but … if the team founder calls a meeting to discuss rules, it’s expected that you will be there to discuss the rules and not blow it off? 

With Vilde’s bus, first of all, russ was several years away and they had time to pull it all together. A dance team is going to require some results in the near future, especially if the team is school-approved and getting them out of P.E. Someone is probably going to be checking up on the girls and making sure they’re not getting P.E. credit for sitting around and doing nothing. Second, pretty sure a bus group is not going to require as much day to day practice, training, and energy as a dance team.

I don’t know, however silly Kelsey’s motivations might be, if you sign up for someone’s dance team … you should expect to dance, dude. That goes for all the girls.

When prompted to give her opinion of Zoya, Jo cleverly deflects with the quiz, as her opinion of Zoya is clearly ❤️❤️❤️

I do love and appreciate Grace trying to persuade Kelsey to rethink the whole sleeping with Daniel thing. Not being too harsh, but being firm and not hesitating to point out all the ways it’s not a good choice.

Also being like “keep in mind he’s not your boyfriend” thank youuuu.

Kelsey sure doesn’t like that part about people judging her for having premarital sex. At least they might bring it up in the aftermath of hooking up with Daniel?

“That definitely didn’t happen.” “It did happen and she can’t eat Sweet Tarts anymore.” Jo continues to be the shining star of this show, I laughed out loud at her delivery of that line. 

Whenever one of the Chrises is like “I was totally wasted” about their first time, I’m just like 😧

Kelsey saying option A on the quiz, for her “boyfriend” and her being closer once they sleep together, is the most depressing thing. Stop this train before it goes off the rails.

Oh God. Kelsey does not need to be anywhere near a penis at this juncture. The way she starts giggling and laughing when Grace suggests to think about what turns her on about Daniel … you are not ready to have sex. You are barely ready to talk about sex. None of the Vildes has seemed so young and not ready to go through with this.

Kelsey did not talk about not wanting to be involved in lesbianism, hmmmMMMM. Foreshadowing? Or maybe Julie just realized that people didn’t like the casual lesbophobia if you don’t have a lesbian character? 

I haven’t been all that complimentary to the actors on this show, but I do want to give Kelsey’s actress some props for reciting that whole monologue, which is just a detailed Teen Vogue photoshoot.

It’s amusing that Kelsey integrated the Kittens uniform into her erotic fantasy but sad that Kelsey still wants to be a Kitten so much. She’s not wearing a uniform for her own group, whatever she might want it to be, she’s wearing a Kitten uniform in her ideal scenario.

You know Jo is listening to this fantasy and getting inspiration for her next Kelsey makeup experiment.Also, it makes me laugh that they’re having this discussion in a library.

Overheard in Bouldin - TMI Girl in Library: “People get turned on my different things all the time. My cousin’s thing is dirty socks. She keeps a pair of her ex-boyfriend’s in a Ziploc bag under her bed.”

May we one day meet this intriguing cousin of yours, Jo.

But don’t encourage this Daniel nonsense.

It’s too bad we didn’t get the classic doctor visit but lol, a school doctor in Texas might not be able to be so blatant with the sex ed tips, so I get it. And ultimately I would prefer if Julie tried out new scenes instead of trying to recreate old ones.

At first I thought Kelsey maybe didn’t know who Kendrick Lamar was. Which is perfectly plausible, let’s be real.

“When I have ever asked you for anything?” In the short time Meg has known you, Kelsey ... find Jo, join the dance team, get closer to Penetrator Jo, give you her birth control pills.

Clip 6 - Bowling

Kelsey’s outfit is almost exactly what she described in her fantasy! No access to a Kittens dance uniform, but otherwise very close. Follow your dreams, kids. 

“Martin had a dream … Martin had a dream …” look, I like that Skam uses a variety of music and not just white indie rock, but can we like … quit syncing music by black artists talking about black cultural topics to scenes of this white dude being a big deal.

Look at that dipshit taking up two parking spaces. Fuck offffffffffffff

Kelsey looks so happy and Daniel looks like he’s already 75% checked out.

How long is this Kendrick bowling montage going to go on?

Ha, Kelsey easily had the worst bowling score of the four of them.

“Daniel just touched my ass.” The way Kelsey was thrilled about this was kind of cute and alarming.

Kelsey wanting Meg to stay with them as long as she can makes me think she really just doesn’t want to go through with the impending loss of virginity.

“Then how’d you know my name at Talent Night?” I mean ... you do go to school together, and Jo is on the football team with a high social profile. I could name a lot of my high school classmates by name even if I’ve never spoken to them.

Is Julie going to go full Chris/Eva with this version to give the shippers their day in the sun? I love original Eva/Jonas but Meg/Marlon is an unpleasant trainwreck so I can’t say I’m disappointed. I mean I can’t say I love Meg/Penetrator Jo either,, but I’m not sad about this version of Eva/Jonas not being endgame.

Penetrator Jo is still sleazy in at least a few respects (don’t be a cocktease) and we have still have to meet his girlfriend but his memory of her seems legit so maybe he does really like her. Unless, I don’t know, he stalked her IG and remembered some relevant details and embellished this whole story?

Lmao, I can get why people might think the “No Signal” scenario would be a contrivance but that exact thing has happened to me, so I buy it.

I will give Julie this credit, she’s good at setting up Fredag/Friday scenarios where we think one thing will happen, and instead something else occurs that’s completely different from the fan theories. I figured it would be as simple as Meg or Marlon missing the concert, not that we’d spot Marlon (or “Marlon”) with Abby

I don’t think it’s Marlon, though. That seems a lot like Tyler’s walk, and the person doesn’t seem to be wearing Marlon’s ugly shoes. 

General Comments:

It’s kind of depressing to see people in the FB group and in the comments be like, “I haven’t seen the original show but could Grace be a lesbian? 😃” and the replies be like “No, Noorhelm is coming 😃”

Another “fun” aspect of having this show on Facebook: the MAGA edgelord assholes who leave comments on the episodes about “cucks” and “libtards.”

My opinion of Grace rose so much in this episode just by how doggedly she is trying to bring Kelsey back to earth. and telling her she can back out of this choice. 

In the texts, Grace said she would buy condoms for Kelsey - good job - and later, when Kelsey asked the girls what she should wear for losing her virginity, said, “I know what Daniel will be wearing” and said that she put condoms in Kelsey’s purse - excellent job.

I feel like Grace would roll the condom on Daniel’s dick herself if it meant Kelsey had safe sex.

Abby was stressing over finals on IG so I’d bet that was a hint she needed something to help her out, hence meeting up with Marlon/Tyler for Adderall.

I was wondering what kind of music would be on Skam Austin since original Skam had all sorts of high-profile artists, and that would not be cheap, but so far, it seems like Facebook spared no expense with the soundtrack.

Grace and Shay had IG posts reacting to the Santa Fe High School Shooting. IDK how much Skam Austin would address gun violence in the episodes itself in the future, and I can think of ways it could go very badly, but sadly, as one of the biggest concerns of American teenagers today, it would be very relevant, and that’s what Skam’s supposed to be, after all.