#it so very sad that a lot of their songs are highly metaphorical and if you translate them to english they sound like gibberish

[nmoroder]

Hence the holy side gifted us with nothing Nothing but the final love Nautilus Pompilius - Золотое пятно

another piece inspired by gloomy Russian songs (previous one), same band but different song this time. if you listen to the whole song it reads like a shipping piece (like the previous post... yeah), but i like to interpret this very line in the manner of them both losing their family at young age and missing what it feels to be loved by relatives till the end of their upbringing... hence they were “gifted with nothing but the final love” which they kinda received at the organization. wasn’t “love” in its common meaning, more like mutual understanding and silent comfort

[cursed-man-prayers]

Like a Wine-Stained Dress I Can't Wear Anymore

A queer analysis of wine mentions in Taylor Swift’s discography (1989, Reputation, Lover)

You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore.

The first time alcohol is name-dropped in Taylor’s entire discography is in Clean. I think there’s a lot of meanings to Clean, but when it comes to queerness, it implies that this loss has left a mark that can’t really be washed away. It's a stain she can't get rid of. Clean feels like a desperate attempt to convince herself that she is clean, that she is pure. But the naming of alcohol, and wine specifically, implies maturity and loss of innocence. She can't wear the wine-stained dress because it would be proof that she isn't a "good girl," the persona she desperately clung to, especially before and during the 1989 era. We can see wine as metaphor for queerness, a symbol of Taylor diverging from the image projected onto her from day one.

I’m spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we’re both drunk.

When it came out, Dress was one of Taylor’s sexiest songs. As we know, Dress is also one of Taylor’s gayest songs (especially when paired with the performances of it on Rep tour, including bisexual lighting and a dedication to Loie Fuller). There’s the inherent queerness of the song (“I don’t want you like a best friend,” “All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting,” “There is an indentation in the shape of you”). There’s also the contextual queerness of the song (“Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo,” “Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about all this…” “Our secret moments in a crowded room”).

Spilling wine in the bathtub is a really interesting visual and metaphor. If you spill wine in the bathtub, nothing gets stained. It’s washed away. It remains in secret. When they’re in the crowded room, no one knows about them because the wine (the romantic/sexual nature of their relationship) is carefully hidden and washed away. Additionally, the placing of these lyrics immediately after “and if I get burned, at least we were electrified” implies death. Being in this relationship brings the threat of death (metaphorically or literally). Now, in what world does a white woman being with a white man bring the threat of death?

“Only bought this dress so you could take it off” is also a reference to Taylor’s good girl, highly feminine brand, especially prior to Reputation. While she traded the 1950s housewife dresses of the Red era for the crop tops and short skirts of 1989, Taylor was still a beacon of classic femininity (“I’ve got that red lip classic thing that you like/good girl faith and a tight little skirt” in Style). In a queer context, “only bought this dress so you could take it off” shirks the traditional view of women’s fashion throughout history. “I’m not wearing this dress to impress men. I’m wearing it for you.”

Spilling wine in the bathtub, in secret, where it is washed away before anyone can see it, means that Taylor can get away with being the best best friend of someone without the general public thinking twice about it. Additionally, the placement of a lyric mentioning wine in a song called Dress directly calls back to the wine lyric in Clean.

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust; trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up.

Death By A Thousand Cuts, iconic sad bop, brings wine back into the picture. DBATC also has the lyrics “I get drunk but it’s not enough.” Where before drinking and getting drunk were representative of loving in an uninhibited way, here it is used to try and forget the lover. Lover is an extremely anxious album. Cornelia Street, Cruel Summer, the Archer, Lover (the song), Afterglow, and False God all express anxieties about a potential break up. I don’t know if DBATC is theoretical or literal, but I don’t think one is likely to write this many songs about fearing the loss of an impossibly beautiful love if that love is “stable.” At the very least, DBATC became literal ("now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club" vs. "I washed my hands of us at the club" plus the rest of Hits Different).

In this song, wine represents an integral part of who Taylor is. It’s a stand-in for queerness, as it was in Clean and Dress. The lover consumed her. She can’t look at herself and not see her lover, this person who defined her life for so long. She cannot truly separate herself from the lover, no matter how hard she tries to. Even the drinking reminds her of her lover. She's stained by the love.

Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness. Got the wine for you.

Ah yes, the somehow sexier, gayer sister of Dress. False God is one of my favorite songs on Lover, and I truly hated it when I thought it was about a man (and also was a purity-culture stricken baby gay). Once again, we have inherent queerness (“We were crazy to think that this would work,” “We might just get away with it,” “Religion’s in your lips/the altar is my hips even if it’s a false god), and contextual queerness (“I’m New York City/You’re the West Village.”) While False God is not the first instance of queer love as religion (see Don’t Blame Me), it’s a very direct iteration of the theme. The false god is their love. It’s heretical and sinful, but they want it anyway. They’ll still worship this love.

Making confessions for forgiveness paired with “got the wine for you” is a metaphor for makeup sex. When things feel wrong, they touch each other (“I know heaven’s a thing”). Hell is when they fight, when they feel like the relationship might end. “But we might just get away with this” is so queer coded I can’t stand the thought of people using this song in a hetero context. You don’t “get away” with a heteronormative straight relationship. That’s literally the norm. The thing keeping them together while everything tries to tear them apart is their love, romantic and sexual. The twist of wine being gay and religious is incredible to me as a religiously traumatized homosexual. While the relationship is “wrong,” they love each other anyway. They still worship this love.

In short, wine = gay. A playlist of Taylor songs that mention wine leaves you with a fruity-ass playlist.

In the next part, I'll look at the lyrics mentioning wine in the 1, august, willow, ivy, and Maroon. I think Maroon is the culmination of what wine means in Taylor's music, in terms of how wine = queerness and the relationship we see evolve and devolve from Reputation to Midnights.

[yjyt85r98r]

Aikatsu song reviews: Kira・pata・shining

Possibly the most "wait, this is from Aikatsu?" song of them all. And also the most questionable.

Song

It's a very, very unusual song for Aikatsu. It still loosely follows the most basic anime song conventions, but it ignores a lot of them, instead using a rhythm, scale, and instruments inspired by Indian music. I love when a song breaks the boundaries and does something different. But...

It's been becoming more and more clear to me that I can't stand songs that have one loud instrument making the same sounds over and over throughout the entire song. In the case of Kira・pata・shining, this instrument is the sitar. I think its sound is just too powerful to be at the forefront for the entire song, especially in a song with vocals. It loudly plays the same notes over and over again for the whole song and it sort of drives me crazy. It's fine to have a recurring motif that carries the rest of the song, but ideally, other instrumentals should sometimes overshadow that motif so that it's not dominant for the entire song. When the same thing stays at the forefront for an entire song, without changing at all, then it becomes really boring and annoying. But I don't know, other people seem to like this song, so whatever.

As much as I don't like the main instrumentals, I like the rhythm, and the way it adds in hand drums and occasionally clapping as the song goes on. I think more Aikatsu songs should have used this rhythm and percussion style.

One thing I can say for sure is that this song is incredibly catchy. After hearing it just one time, the chorus kept getting stuck in my head.

Vocals

Sora's voice is the best part of the song to me. There are some parts of the song where I don't know whether her vocals make them more annoying, or if they're just annoying to begin with.

I think they could've done some double tracking to go along with the multiplied visual effects. That would've increased the 'trippy' feeling.

Lyrics

So these lyrics, huh...

I don't really know where to put this, but eventually I was gonna have to talk about early(ish) Aikatsu's whole thing with sexy-type performances and different cultures. Kira・pata・shining is definitely the most glaring example.

Most of the other Aikatsu songs inspired by music from other cultures (e.g. Trap of Love, Chica×Chica) have highly personal lyrics that help the songs feel grounded and genuine. But Kira・pata・shining's lyrics are about magic spells, impermanence, and being mysterious. They're full of deliberately opaque metaphors. They feel somehow distant, as if the whole appeal lies in keeping it foreign. It also doesn't help that they're some of the most suggestive lyrics to appear in Aikatsu. The whole "foreign = sexy" thing is a problem.

It was a whole decade ago at this point, and they don't do this kind of thing anymore so it's no longer a problem. But it's also kind of sad that newer Aikatsu series didn't explore different music styles from different parts of the world. Maybe one day they will have a perfect balance, especially now that anime is becoming a more worldwide, multicultural thing.

Choreography

It has a nice swirling quality. I sort of like the choreography, but combined with everything else about this song, you could say it goes too far into "sexy" territory. Still, it's not the worst that Aikatsu's ever put out.

Visuals

I forget how much I like the stage until I see it in motion. The flaming torches, the sky that turns darker, the fireworks, the way the palace disappears for a split second... very mysterious. It's also unique how Sora begins the song with her wings folded like a fan, and they only unfold after the first verse. The whole thing is full of spiritual imagery and vague visual metaphors.

It sort of reminds me of a 70s/80s music video, what with the orientalist setup and surreal visual effects. If you've seen any early MTV videos, you probably know what I'm talking about.

I still feel like this whole performance is sort of just a cultural mishmash. The stage design is obviously influenced by the Taj Mahal, so it fits the music's theme, but the brand Bohemian Sky is allegedly based on Sora's time in Morocco, and the designs don't look like they're based on anything in particular. As Long As It Sounds Foreign!

Good points: Unique song, nice rhythm Bad points: Main instrumental is too repetitive and overbearing

Rating: 5/10 Personal rating: 1/10

[light-lanterne]

hello !! so, a lovely anon has sent me the most wondrous ask analysing (from a byler perspective) the lyrics from an album that came out on friday night, the likes of which is by my current favourite band (and hyperfixation). unfortunately, my reply was getting ridiculously long, so i shall screenshot the different parts of this ask and add them to this post instead ~

needless to say, i'll also be connecting these beautiful lyrics to byler :O many an au idea has spawned from me listening to this album a few times over, so there's that too. if you're a byler who've never even heard of this band, i highly suggest you check them out; some of their songs are very heavy, others are not and may even be considered pop. regardless of the music, all the lyrics are wonderful and they're definitely worth a listen.

anyway, let us begin !!

— sleep token —

take me back to eden

okei, so for the "simple" question: i don't know which is my favourite new release, they're all just so good :( maybe 'ascensionism', for it's the one that's been stuck in my head all day x.x but really, they're all perfection and if these guys don't get a grammy or five i'll be very mad >:(

anyway, you said you were joking but i'm actually buzzing with excitement at the prospect of analysing the whole thing so here we go ~

first, the singles (i'll be as brief as possible):

i. chokehold: ah,,, the perfect start of the album. i think the song is mostly about vessel's devotion to sleep, but these lyrics really feel like s1 mike to me :O - - - - - - - - - - - beneath the stormy seas, above the mountain peaks, it's all the same to me, it makes no difference. i've seen my days unfold, done the impossible. i'll turn my walls to gold to bring you home again. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah,,, just the disposition to do anything and defeat all obstacles in order to literally "bring [this person] home again" really reminded me of mike :]

ii. the summoning: such an exquisite single,,, really the best song to pull people in~ needless to say, the bridge brings a really neat dynamic that would work really well in an aged-up fic, i think. - - - - - - - - - - - oh, and my love. did i mistake you for a sign from god? or are you really here to cast me off? or maybe just to turn me on? 'cause these days i would be lying if i told you that i didn't wish that i could be your man, or maybe make a good [boy] bad. - - - - - - - - - - - maybe the classic good student will/rebellious mike? something like that :D

iii. granite: this was my favourite single !! it's dark and moody and it paints a sad but somewhat beautiful picture :O from the lyrics this is about a dysfunctional relationship and codependency, so it doesn't quite fit canon byler :S an au, however,,, - - - - - - - - - - - i was more than just a body in your passenger seat, and you were more than just somebody i was destined to meet, i see you go half-blind when you're looking at me. but i am. between the second-hand smoke and the glass on the street, you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave, you say you want me, but you know i'm not what you need. but i am. - - - - - - - - - - - ,,,yeah. messy queer relationships can be fun to write and read and this one paints a very interesting scenario ~ when i first heard it, i immediately associated it with my serial killer au :D

iv. aqua regia: this one is such a vibe ~ i originally didn't care much for it, tbh, and it took me a while to get the metaphors x.x but once i got it i really started liking the song a lot more ! - - - - - - - - - - - aqua regia, (< gold refiner; vessel describes himself as gold before) oxytocin running in the ether. (< the ether would be the internet,,,) silicon ballrooms, (< silicon is a main component of electronics, so instead of social gatherings happening in an actual ballroom, they happen on the phone) subatomic interactions if it's all good. - - - - - - - - - - - so yeah, my understanding is that the main character in this song is someone who resists technology, but stops trying to fight it once they meet someone they feel something for online which is quite lovely ~ also, these lines are so cute: - - - - - - - - - - - oh, when i am done dancing to alarm bells no wonder my ears are still ringing. - - - - - - - - - - - (just imagine vessel bouncing around all excited about getting a message from this person :D ) anyway, um, modern byler au where mike is an anti-technology nerd who finally gets himself a phone just so that maybe he can talk to this really cute, semi-instagram-popular guy he likes from one of his lectures ^-^

v. vore: um,,, yeah,,, as someone who leans towards heavier music i love this song so so much !! the themes of obsession are amazing and really build on the concepts brought up in "this place will become your tomb", so that's a nice callback :O needless to say, there's not much bylering going on here but the vibe really goes well with aforementioned serial killer au, so there's that x.x

ix. dywtylm: aha, last single ! i must admit, i also didn't care for it a lot when i first heard it but, within the context of the album, it's a great break between "the apparition" and the final part of the record ~ so, i think i'd mentioned this before (?) but i can't remember,,, anyway, the lyrics scream mike at me ~ - - - - - - - - - - - and my reflection just won't smile back at me like i know it should. and i would turn into a stranger in an instant if i could. and there is something eating me alive, i don’t know what it is. maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist. - - - - - - - - - - - also these: - - - - - - - - - - - and i've tried so hard to fix it all but nothing seems to help, but i cannot hope to give you what i cannot give myself. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah, canon mike's insecurities, guilt and confusion really reflect on those lyrics :( if i were to write something around this, it'd probably be a post m*leven break-up thing where mike is unsure if he has a chance with will, so they’re both just dancing around each other,,,

anyway, there's the singles !! now onto the new songs :D

vi. ascensionism: my absolute favourite song of the album ;-; there's something about fun genre-merging that really tickles my brain ~ i can't say i get the lyrics as much as the other songs, but from what i get it's about a relationship that's gone awry and both parts know they need to break up, but neither one wants to do it :( (there's also some stuff about a pseudo-religion called "ascensionism" and from what i get, it would imply that our main character believes they deserve this because of something they did in a previous life, so by accepting this, they will be able to ascend,,, or something like that x.x again, i don't quite get it just yet.) anyway, as much as i like this song i can't really connect it to byler ;-; maybe an exes fic, where they reflect on their fallout ? i don't do well with those, unfortunately x.x

vii. are you really okay?: this song is so pretty and sad :( i actually quite liked it !! it doesn't sound like anything from the soundtrack, i don't think, but it reminded me of my favourite film ever ("the crow") ~ the 90s vibes are delightful and it really gave me a feel of nostalgia that only added on to the emotion ;-; now, out of all the lyrics i'd say these are the most straightforward so i don't think i need to say what this is about :( and it's not quite the same, but i heard this part and had an idea for a short fic: - - - - - - - - - - - and i, i cannot fix your wounds this time. but i, i don't believe you when you tell me you are fine. please don't hurt yourself again. - - - - - - - - - - - picture this: during the confrontation about the painting, mike finds out about everything will has sacrificed to help him be happy so he tries to comfort him.

viii. the apparition: ah, this song feels so short :( it's very pretty though, all about vessel's troubled relationship with sleep ~ indeed, those lyrics you mentioned do feel very byler coded :O maybe their feelings between s3 and s4, when both of them were mourning their perceived lost connection (which they could've solved with a single phone call, but alas,,,) ? something like that ~ as for the dream stuff, i can definitely see will yelling this at vecna, once he's fed-up with the nightmares and being messed with and all that: - - - - - - - - - - - just let me go or take me with you. - - - - - - - - - - - granted, vessel's relationship with sleep is more of devotion than hatred (as reflected by the rest of the lyrics), but that particularly line gave me that visual :O i propose an alternative to the vecna interpretation, though: - - - - - - - - - - - why are you never real? whenever you appear you leave me with that grace, i am trembling with fear. but i know that you will disappear, just as i awake. whisper in my ear. - - - - - - - - - - - imagine that will's been taken by vecna (slipped into a coma or something of such nature) and he communicates with mike through his dreams :] that could be interesting, i think ~

x. rain: woo, byler-coded song !! those verses you wrote definitely feel like them, maybe once they get their stuff together and they accept that they can achieve happiness with each other ;-; i also love the references to other songs ~ part of the chorus feels a lot like "atlantic", there was a callback to "aqua regia" (something about 'saturate'), the 'game' part of the lyrics might be tied to "blood sport",,, i really like it !! the music is amazing and i can proudly inform you that listening to this as it rains around you is a wonderful experience ~ i have nothing more to add to your analysis n_n so, for a fic, i'd write about the direct moment after they defeat vecna and everything is done, with them running into each other's arms and just being happy to have each other, fully, at last.

xi. take me back to eden: the title track,,, an absolute masterpiece ;-; it's got everything musically, the most amazing breakdown, and it really is the perfect song to explain who they are :( and vessel's lyrics,,, "i dream in phosphorescence",,, who thinks of that ? x.x he's by far one of the best lyricists i know >.< the references to previous releases are so cool, too: - the ocean references are a call back to "tpwbyt" - the second verse alludes to "nazareth" (my favourite song) - the biting stuff is from "the offering" - shakespeare's "the merchant of venice" gets quoted - and of course, the first verse from "chokehold" is repeated to round the whole thing up :O ah, amazing,,, anyway, about the lyrics you shared,,,, yes. to all that ~ perfect interpretation <3 the chorus itself can be very byler, too: - - - - - - - - - - - my, my, those eyes like fire, i'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre. come now, bite through these wires, i'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired. reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher, grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire. - - - - - - - - - - - from mike's pov, he knows he's attracted to will and he perceives that acting on those feelings is dangerous (he's a moth to a flame), but at some point he's tired of being miserable and wants to confront this. it also works from will's pov, with him having already (unknowingly) been hurt by mike and he's tired of hurting, but he can't seem to back away. ,,,i think it works, but you tell me ~ overall, the song really reflects a longing for an innocence lost and we all know mike, will and the entire party can resonate with that :(

xii. euclid: the perfect outro to the album (and the trilogy) !! such a gorgeous piece with one too many musical and lyrical references to other songs to list x.x with the way it ties back to "the night does not belong to god" (first song in sundowning), it really feels like closing a chapter and i can't pretend it didn't make me cry ;-; (i wonder if the song is called euclid because he was the father of geometry, and this song turns the trilogy into a circle,,,) anyway, i haven't got much more to say than what you've already mentioned,,, these lyrics have been gorgeous since the original song,,, - - - - - - - - - - - the whites of your eyes turn black in the lowlight. in turning divine we tangle endlessly, like lovers entwined. - - - - - - - - - - - and these ones (which you already mentioned but i want to repeat because they gave me chills with how pretty they are) really encapsulate byler, i think - - - - - - - - - - - do you remember me when the rain gathers? and do you still believe that nothing else matters? for me it's still the autumn leaves, these ancient canopies that we used to lay beneath. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah,,, i've got nothing more to say,,,

anyway,,, thank you for this wonderful ask and for letting me ramble about this beautiful band and these beautiful lyrics and connect it all to the other thing i love !! sorry it took me days to get through this, i needed some time to digest the whole album ;-; hope you liked my insight (?) and the fic ideas and stuff i mentioned !!

for now, i think it's about time i wrap this ridiculously long post up x.x to whoever is reading this, i really hope you're having the best day or night ever, and that you enjoyed reading my nonsense ~ i'll see about writing some of the fics i mentioned in this post, but it will (obviously) take me a bit x.x

farewell for now !! <3

[notablytrustableindividual]

Band Rants #2 - Far Caspian

Sorry for the delay for the 0.63 people who care, the last week has been not great, and I've been barely holding on. As I write this, it is 2:53 am on a Saturday, and I'm drinking tap water out of a Nicholas Cage mug in the dark.

Anyways, back to music.

There were several bands in somewhat similar styles I almost wrote about instead. Slaughter Beach, Dog and their transformation from Midwest Emo to Indie Rock to Folk (The reverse Wilco, as I like to call it) or Peach Pit, who did something similar with an odd yet fun discography. In a more pop vein, I also considered Rotel Otis, who I started listening to when they were on the Fresh Finds playlist, and whose ability to pump out fun single after fun single confuses me to this day.

But instead I settled on Far Caspian, a band that is a bit harder to pin down. So what is Far Caspian, and why should you care about them?

First, Far Caspian is an Indie Rock/Pop Project led by Irish multi instrumentalist Joel Johnston, who has released 3 Eps, and a full length Album. Their first Ep, Between Days, cane out in 2018. The Heights followed in 2019, and their first full length Album, Ways To Get Out, dropped in 2021.

I am not mincing words when I say Far Caspian is some of the most relaxing, aesthetically pleasing music I've ever heard. Listening Between Days feels like lying on top of a ridge and staring out, relaxed. It's music that makes everything feel fine, even when it's not.

Of course, I will admit some bias in this. Far Caspian has been comfort music for me for years now. I used to sit in the library of my school during lunch, surrounded by ornate carved bookshelves and wearing a beat to shit pair of headphones, rushing through my 5th period AP Euro homework as Far Caspian played, keeping me from panicking even more. The example of me laying on a ridgeline isn't just metaphor either. I've done it before (I highly recommend it, it's very relaxing)

While the 2018 EP is mostly acoustic, 2019's The Heights branches out a bit. Some synth and piano show up, adding some variety to the instrumentals. Each song on The Heights also feels just that little bit more unique. Of course, I'm biased in this matter. The slightly faster guitar and simple drum line if Conversations lives rent free in my head.

(I can effortlessly sing along to it by the way, it's my second most played song of all time)

Yes, I'm aware this is a bit cursed.

Either way, the Heights contains some of the best sounding guitar lines I've ever heard. It's just unfathomably relaxing to me. Of course, the lyrics and drums are also pretty good. When talking lyrics, I would be stupid to not mention A Dream Of You. (You should listen)(please?)

This song is Far Caspian's most popular, and it earns it. The lyrics live rent free in my head, expressing longing for someone else's presence beautifully. The slow, calm guitars and passive drumline even have a little beat drop in the instrumental breakdown towards the end. It is probably one of my favorite beat drops ever. Even with its slow pace, the song has this way of sucking you in. I enjoy it quite a lot. The melody holds a special place in my heart.

In 2021, Far Caspian released their first full length Album, and it was quite a pivot. It's atmospheric and plodding. The music is still gorgeously composed, but there's a very prevalent sadness throughout. If you've listened to the previous songs I'd recommended listening to and enjoyed them, I can't guarantee you'll enjoy the album as well.

Of course, the album has its high points. For me, the most standout tracks were right at the start and end. House is by far one of the most complex songs Far Caspian has ever made. It starts out with a simpke guitar riff, and builds, until its soothing saxophone, combined with its other myriad instruments make the songs climax just transcendent for me.

Of course, they have one more Ep which came out a few days before I wrote all this. Its similar to the 2021 release in a lot of ways. That being said, the closer on the 4 song ep, Arbitrary Task, just sucks me into a trance. It's noisy, strumming guitars, combined with an omnipresent drum line, whittles at the senses a bit, until the comparative quiet of the bridge snaps you back to reality.

Of course, like every band, they also have a large catalouge of singles.

I'd recommend the alternate version of Conversations (Shocking, I know) and Holding On, which is thier first ever song.

Overall, Far Caspian is a band that can be both gentle, and calming, as well as rough andmelancholic. Whatever sound they have though, they are always heartfelt. They remind me of Turnover and Real Estate in a lot of ways. To quote someone else's review of Real Estate, "This is a band fotlr those who can chill to the max"

Between Days (2018) - 8.4/10

The Heights (2019) - 9.3/10

Ways to Get Out (2021) - 6.5/10

Pet Architect (2023) - 5.5/10

[anadrenalineslut]

the fact that taylor performed cant feel my face on the 1989 tour during the height of her eating disorder is really painful because while that song is obviously about drug addiction it can also be interpreted to be about having an ED. idk maybe this is poorly worded or seems weird it just feels like she chose that song for a reason if that makes any sense

i've taken a break from studying to procrastinate on the internet but I haven't been able to stop thinking about this actually.

I went back and listened to her performance of the song and I find it really interesting that she switched the pronoun to "him." I find it interesting because there really was no need for her to do that. I know she was very closeted at the time but she also wasn't hiding the fact that she wanted to be out either.

She sang other songs like Cheerleader for example where she didn't bother to change the original lyric and I think the fact that she used "him" does make your theory that she chose the songs she covered on purpose during 1989 tour.

the reason I say this is because if you go to this page and just scroll until you reach the "1" time played part, you see the song titles of every artist she invited on tour and I think the songs she chose to play were very gay and sad but this one specifically... yeah I think this one was intentionally done because of her ED.

I think she views her ED voice as masculine, which is very interesting to me. I don't really want to speculate too hard but remember when we were talking about style and blank space's cake scene and how this feels ED related? I think this is another thing that lends credibility to that theory because okay, you could take this down a literal route or down a very metaphorical route about how she was brainwashed by the patriarchy into wanting a prince charming to the point where she would kill herself to attain the superficial standards that society lays out for women, where she is masculinizing her ED voice.

I think Taylor has struggled a lot with her gender identity actually, but not in like the 'trans' way but more in like what does it mean to be a 'good' woman type of way. Like, white women have this standard of womanhood that is quite harmful to society and all the things that are praised in us lead to oppression for other groups, and especially other women. Not even in like the gender expectations of dress or make-up but just how you are as a white woman and what society tells you as a white woman is that in order to be good, you need to be liked.

sorry this is getting so off topic but i have a point promise. white women in society are taught to prioritize being liked above all else, and it is clear in the documentary, Taylor also felt this struggle. I also think that Taylor is autistic so like I feel like she knew this from a very young age. Go look at her unreleased lyrics (most of which are from 12-15 year old taylor) and you can see this desire to be seen as like desirable from early on. She constantly penned songs about yearning for a man who doesn't know any better than to chase a prettier pageant queen than you. I think as she grew older, she became aware of this warped worldview that she was forcefed through media and I think by 1989, she was highly aware of a lot more than we give her credit for as a fandom.

side bar: when people say taylor didn't write the 10mv lyrics before 2021, i have to laugh because a line that says fuck the patriarchy is actually exactly the type of line I would expect 2012 taylor to cut in order to seem more palatable as a songwriter. I think that's also why we see her fucking the patriarchy more in her lyrics now, because she truly doesn't care about seeming like a good girl anymore.

ANYWAYS

white women are taught as a class that we need to be liked, ABOVE ALL ELSE. we must be peaceful wives who are practically perfect in every way but that never show any anger because anger is a "man" emotion. It's everywhere in white culture, but especially in the ways that white women interact with each other to enforce this standard. Being polite often means, for white women, sitting down and shutting up.

That's why in the miss americana documentary, she focuses a lot on her belief system of good vs bad and how it really enabled her to be the worst version of herself because in order to be good in this society, you have to be polite in the face of a lot of injustice. You cannot speak out because speaking out labels you a bitch and nobody wants to be a bitch.

I think by 1989, Taylor was kind of fed up with the cage she had built for herself but couldn't find a way out of that shit. You gotta keep in mind, once you hand over the amount of control BMR had over Taylor, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get it back. In a way, she had to be hit with 2016 in order for her to realize that it DOESN'T MATTER IF EVERYONE LIKES YOU because the people who matter will shoulder anything for you. I think she needed to realize that getting everyone to like was an impossible goal to set for herself in order for her to grow into the person she is today.

Like, I think she was very aware of social dynamics because songs like blank space really hides a lot of female rage under the comedic tones of the music video/song. Like, I don't think the fandom realizes just how angry taylor was/is with the media perception of her because she's so good at hiding her true emotions well.

I say all this to say that I'm almost positive taylor masculinizes her ED in her music because it's such a multifaceted metaphor for all the ways in which she internalized the most harmful parts of patriarchy growing up and how being in the public eye for almost 20 years and growing up in that eye as a woman really fucking almost killed her. I say all this to say that I'm pretty sure she meant it that way anon and I'm sad now.

Thanks for this.

[septembersghost]

you don't have to answer this if it's triggery but thinking about how easily we could've lost Taylor either bc she decided to retreat forever or worse things, how likely do you think it is she'll address that or even mention suicide on this album?

i think it's highly likely, to the point where we should be prepared for it. i'm not sure how directly she'll get into it, but it's something she's been alluding to since reputation, there are small glimpses of it on lover and she mentioned it in interviews, and then of course, death is a continuous theme on folklore/evermore. as much as those albums may be draped in metaphor and stories, many of the songs are also very personal and very much about her and her experiences, but even two years ago, i don't think she was ready to put that out there in quite as vulnerable a way. it was easier to dress in a little bit of fiction - i think so much about this is me trying, since i've been in the, "i didn't know if you'd care if i came back, i have a lot of regrets about that" moments myself. "pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down" is her way of exposing the depth of that despair there, and it recurs, specifically on hoax, "stood on the cliffside, screaming 'give me a reason.'" i've always agreed with the thought that "my sleepless night" refers to one particularly dark and specific moment, and hoax being an enigma and about several different situations was her safe outlet of addressing it there. it feels very possible to me that that sleepless night will be one of the upcoming tracks.

i've been remembering things she said and shared in 2019. it's been exactly six years today since this journal entry:

and here are a couple of quotes that have stuck with me from lover press/speeches:

there have been things she's referenced obliquely, and others i suspect she didn't feel ready to share with us at all until now. just the admission that she felt that and struggled with those dark thoughts felt huge to me every time, be it in interviews or lyrics, and it feels like a testament to her resilience that now she's feeling brave enough to go back over those events and create art about them. (and i don't think the whole album will be sad, of course! she mentioned joy and dreams along with sorrow and nightmares). there's a real sense of desperation in the album prologue, but also clarity and catharsis and intimacy.

what's remarkable to me is the journey that's gotten her here ("hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven"). she's been through so much, extreme ups and terrible downs, and the past few years alone have had tumult for her, including professional losses that were a blow, but she's managed to spin that into gold and reclamation. from the description, i don't know that this album would even exist without the process of the re-recordings. i think folklore and evermore were hugely restorative to her, despite the difficult circumstances for her and for the world as a whole that led to their creation. and honestly it seems like she's never been healthier and happier, and that in itself is why she can go back to such vulnerable places now. you can't confront certain things when you're in them. you can't talk about certain griefs when you're too directly immersed in them, when you're too fragile. she's worked so hard to heal and to get to this place, and i'm proud of her for it. step into the daylight, and sometimes the warmth and growth of that rising sun gives you the courage to blossom and to look back on the many midnights.

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

AU where Kwamis are feed by tributes in their name using their core concept.

Yeah, there are Aus like this were Tikki actively feeds on Marinette’s good luck (which makes her clumsy) and Plagg on Adrien’s bad luck (making so everything goes his way).

But here, the “feeding” has to be on purpose, and explicitly tribute to the Kwami

Marinette has no problem with this, as she creates a lot of stuff, drawings, clothes, posters, bakings, etc. All she has to do is to say something like “For Tikki”. And Tikki is feed.

Adrien OTOH, has to destroy things on purpose, which at first created him a whole host of problems for the amount of trash he was generating. He eventually realized, much to Plagg’s annoyance, that the destroying doesn’t have to be of something material, but he can also destroy someone’s sadness, he can destroy pollution, etc.

A kwami’s first adventure is of course a freebie, but after that, if the same person wants to do repeats, they have to pay the tribute.

Alya took stage magic as a hobby to keep being Rena Rouge. She was uncomfortable with lies, which Trixx pointed out was easier. (He was testing her). She eventually realized that the stories that she made up for her sisters, Manon and Chris also counted as proper tributes, as storytelling is a form of illusion.

Nino asked Anansi for some fighting lessons in order to be able to protect others better, which she gladly accepted. He also helps Mylene and Ivan in their activism. And to everyone’s surprise, he was quicker to call Chloe’s out on her BS. (Wayzz is very proud that he is coming out of his shell)

Chloe at first thought she had a rather easy route as she could just keep treating everyone like crap and give that as tribute to Pollen. Pollen pointed out that it was the other way around. She would need to do stuff for other people, no strings attached.  She of course refused at first, but eventually decided being a super hero and having adventures with Ladybug was worth it. Marinette highly suspects that Pollen lied. The other Kwamis aren’t telling.

Gabriel Agreste actually took several tries to realize what was appropriate for Nooroo, the Kwami of Transmission. He eventually realized that Nooroo only got feed from positive interactions he had with other people… which presented a problem for him, as he was an asshole. So he got around that by being nice to business associates, like Tomoe Tsurugi.

Nathalie has relatively easy, as Duusu is fed by expressing emotions; the hard part is that she is not very expressive herself, and that she doesn’t always know when she is going to be emotive enough to “count” as a tribute.

Alix at first tried to feed Fluff clocks, but she explained that she needs metaphorical time.  So Alix has to waste time in some way and offer it as a tribute. Not something easy for someone as active as her.

Max’s tribute to Kaalki is easy, as he has to offer any travel he does to her. However, Kaalki only accepts “glamorous” rides, so walking or taking public transport is out of the question. He occasionally asks Adrien for a ride to offer the limo drive to her, or in a pinch, he hires Theo for a ride in a carriage.

Kim technically has it easy with Xuppu’s concept being that of Jubilation, as he could offer any activity where he is enjoying himself as a tribute, like swimming. However, Xuppu being who he is, has given Kim an explicit (and humiliating) ritual that says he must sing and dance “I’m a little teapot” before his Jubilation.

Luka needs to perform a “second chance” and make it as a tribute to Sass. He has to make a mistake (not on purpose) and then retry. It was hard at first, until he realized he could do so while learning new things, or even doing homework. Sass appreciates it better when it’s something he genuinely wants to do better, like learning/composing a new song.

Kagami had a harder time that everyone else figuring out how she could pay tribute to Longg, as she wasn’t sure what his concept was, only that it involved the holder transforming into water, wind, or lighting. Eventually she got the idea of trying swimming as another extracurricular after watching Kim randomly change into a swimsuit when she went for Adrien to his classroom for fencing. It was Marinette who had commented that Kim was weird like that, but he “felt one with the water” when he took a swim. Convincing her mother that swim could help with her movements in fencing was rather easy too. 

[penclicksound]

“Willow” by Taylor Swift line by line Analysis

Welcome to a very elaborate analysis of the song “Willow” by Taylor Swift. My goal is to analyse all songs on Evermore, therefore creating an extensive but organised analysis of the whole album. A link will be provided when more song analysis are available.

Note: this is just my interpretation and in no way discards any other interpretation. I don’t claim my interpretation to be the “right” interpretation.

Please do not steal my words or ideas as your own or repost, but refer to me, when you talk about my ideas or post it somewhere else, thank you so much!

“I’m like the water when your ship rolled in that night

Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife”

The song kicks off with rough waters, which may equal to stormy waters. Taylor thus refers to herself as stormy waters, potentially thinking of herself or her life as chaotic or turbulent. A love interest then enters her life like a “boat”. This is an interesting metaphor, as Taylor has often referred to music as a “floating device” on a stormy sea (e.g. the piano in the Cardigan music video). Potentially, this means that she sees herself and her life as a stormy sea and the love interest enters her life as floating device (= the ship). Although the water seems rough, the love interest “cuts through” it “like a knife”, suggesting that underneath the surface, the water isn’t rough at all. This could mean that the love interests sees right through the stormy life/character of the singer and by doing that, enters the quiet part of her life/character. The ship/water metaphor is an ongoing metaphor throughout evermore (later: Gold Rush “eyes like sinking ships”).

 “And if it was an open-shut case

I never would’ve known from that look on your face”

An open shut case is a case “which is easily decided or solved because the facts are very clear” (collinsdictionary.com). This could mean that Taylor herself did not see the getting together with the love interest as an obvious thing that happened easily. She did not think of the issues that arise during the first period of dating and getting together as easily solved. And the look on the face of the love interest did not suggest he thought it was easy. Even if it was that easy to get together, she would have never guessed it.

 “Lost in your current like a priceless wine”

This is an interesting line, as it reverses positions. In the beginning, Taylor was the water and now the love interest is. Opposed to the love interest, she is not a ship that cuts through it, but instead she is lost in the waters. The priceless wine may be a reference to herself as being of high value, but the high value is lost in the relationship. It could also refer to the ships that sank while shipping wine, that then started aging in the sea, increasing in value only more. This would make more sense, as it could mean that while Taylor loses herself in her love interest, it only increases her personal value more. Aside from that, one may notice that Taylor uses “current” instead of “water”, perhaps referring to the actions and the course of life of the love interest, more than their personality. It also appears he is in control of the current, of the waters he’s in of he is. Taylor on the other hands, seems out of control, storming.

 “The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow”

The more the love interests say, the less Taylor knows. This could mean that the love interest is very wise to Taylor, and therefore makes her feel unintelligent and discard old beliefs. It could however, also mean that the love interest is not making any sense when they’re speaking. Maybe they’re sending conflicting signals. This interpretation ties in with the upcoming lines “Now this is an open-shut case, I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face”. However, even though Taylor is not understanding what the person means (or possibly, what their intentions are), she will follow him wherever he goes. This ties in with the previous line: “lost in your current”. She is unable to separate from him, lost in his current, bound to follow him wherever he decides to go.

 “I’m begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that’s my man”

She then asks the love interests to take her hand. This could again refer to him as a floating device. She is lost, following him around in his stormy sea, and she’s begging him to take her hand, so she won’t get lost in his current. She’s also asking him to wreck her plans, possibly meaning that she’s confused and abandoning her own plans to follow him wherever he wants. She then goes on to say “that’s my man”, which has some sense of pride. Possibly she admires him for being her “current”, taking her everywhere and guiding her.

 “Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”

This again ties in with the resemblance of the love interest to the “current”. He is in control of his life, deciding where to go, changing course and she will follow. Life bents to his wind. This is the first time the song title is named, so why did she chose a “willow” to equal life? A willow is often considered a beautiful tree, but also a sad tree (willow often means the “weeping willow”). This may mean that life is beautiful, but sad and weeping. All the same, the love interest is able to steer the beautiful and sad life.

 “Head on the pillow, I could feel your sneakin’ in”

Taylor is in her bed, possibly pretending to sleep, while the love interests sneaks up on her. This could mean that she felt like she was in “pause” in her life, sleeping, doing nothing or maybe just not being on guard, but vulnerable. The love interest sneaks into her life, but although Taylor is not on guard, she does know he is entering her life.

 “As if you were a mythical thing

Like you were a trophy or champion ring

But there was one prize I’d cheat to win”

He’s entering her life like he is a mythical thing, like he is not real. This may in a way refer to folklore. It is as though he isn’t real, but stories are told about him. Taylor then compares him to a trophy or a champion ring. Perhaps this line means that she sees him as something that people admire and desire to have, but nobody really ever wins. For example a Grammy is rarely won by anybody, it may feel rather mythical to many musicians. The love interest thus doesn’t seem real to her, but he is highly desired. She would even cheat to win him. Cheating could referring to cheating in a game (this ties in with the champion ring metaphor, such as taking dopamine to win a cycling race), but also cheating in a relationship (which ties in better with the fact that she’s talking about a love interest).

 “You know that my train could take you home

Anywhere else is hollow

I’m begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that’s my man”

After repeating the chorus, where she is again subject to his course of life, she then goes on to state that her train could take him home. This seems a lot more in control in this second chorus. She’s following him anywhere, but if he steps on her train, he’d go home. Perhaps this means that she will follow him, traveling anywhere, doing anything, but if he wants, he can come to her and she will take him home. She then states that anywhere besides home is hollow. This could mean that, yes, she will follow him anywhere, but she thinks it’s rather a waste, because she’d rather be home. Home could be referring to a familiar place, somewhere where there’s peace. She would follow him into the storm, but she’d rather be at home with him in peace. In this version of the chorus, her asking the love interest to take her hand, may mean the opposite of what it meant in the first version. In this version she’s begging him to let her control his route to take him home. Perhaps going home and staying in peace, however, wasn’t her original plan, as she does refer to it as wrecking her plans. She loves it though, as she again proudly states: “that’s my man”.

 “Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

They count me out time and time again”

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

But I come back stronger than a ‘90s trend”

While he is completely in control of his beautiful and sad life, the people in Taylor’s life (“they”), keep counting her out, as though she’s no longer a part of the world/life. After stating again that he is in control of his life, she then takes control over hers and states that she “comes back stronger than a ‘90s trend”. This could mean that, in the beginning of the song, she felt out of control, following her love interest anywhere, unsure and confused, but now she’s back, and she’s stronger than ever.

 “Wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars”

Waiting for signals and meetings in the dark suggests there’s secrecy in the relationship. This could be because she is cheating (“there was one prize I’d cheat to win”) and therefore they have to meet secretly. In my view, however, it could also refer to some sense of darkness in the world and they have to built their relationship in secrecy to avoid other people from interfering (this could tie in with “they could me out time and time again”. It also interesting to note that the love interests enters her life in the nighttime (“your ship rolled in that night”), so perhaps they have always met during the nighttime in secrecy. It is also interesting to note the parallel this line has with Cruel Summer (album Lover track 2): “I snuck through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate”, perhaps referring to the same type of secrecy and nighttime meetings. During the meeting in the dark, they tell each other everything, showing each other their scars and where they got them from. They get to know each other deeply, in secrecy.

 “Now this is an open-shut case

I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face

Every bait-and-switch was a work of art”

Then follows a slightly different version of the ending of the first verse, where she states that if it was an open-shut case, she never would’ve known. Now, however, she states that it in fact was an open-shut case and she should have known. Where at first, she thought that starting and building their relationship was a complex and uncertain thing and perhaps she wasn’t even sure her love interest wanted it, now she knows. It was clear as day and it was quickly and easily done. And apparently he was already aware of that, before she was. An interesting parallel can be drawn with Cruel Summer again, where she sings: “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?/He looks up grinning like a devil”. This means – as is widely accepted among Taylor Swift listeners - he was already long aware she loved him and he was just playing along. She then goes on to state that every bait-and-switch was a work of art. A bait and switch is a “sales tactic that lures customers in with specific claims about the quality or low prices on items that turn out to be unavailable in order to upsell them or a similar, pricier item”. In this context it could mean that the love interest was pretending to be something he was not, therefore luring her into getting to know him. Then, as she dedicated herself to him, she stays with him, even though the costs are higher. In this case, I believe this is a “cheeky” comment, about him selling himself a player, but when she falls for it, she finds out he actually never intended to enter her life as a player, but as a life partner. So now, instead of just dedicating to a period of fun loving, she is in the relationship for life. There is, yet again, a parallel with Cruel Summer: “Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it”.

[superfluouskeys]

since i feel like it would be rude to ask after hawkedith Again maybe do a tell abt one of the Dramatically Titled Ones? 7 or 19 👀👀👀

WELL in fairness the hawkedith one has seen no changes since I posted the snip lol all of my wips fell victim to ffxivwrite. ALAS you have selected catboy nonsense,

7. neither have i wings to fly

written when i was obsessed w listening to this on repeat hence the title lol

it's just a wol/g'raha angst/fluff one-shot so it will prob end up being finished sooner rather than later-- typical "character a has a nightmare and character b comforts them" bs

19. winter ever since

GOD this is one of those ideas I'll probably never actually write because it's both very complicated and very sad, and these ships are my comfort trash ya feel lol. It's an AU based on Hadestown, which is based on Orpheus and Eurydice--some vague allusions to ffxiv spoilers to follow--

--where Emet-Selch is Hades, G'raha is Orpheus, and Adrienne serves as both Eurydice and a fragmented reincarnation of Persephone -- I won't get too into it but this is kind of parallel to a few big reveals in the game lol.

If you are familiar with Orpheus and Eurydice you can prob see why I'm not sure I could ever devote a lot of time to writing it lol but I do really like the idea and I think about it often anyway!

Unrelated to my nonsense, I cannot recommend Hadestown highly enough lol.

snip, based on this:

--

“That tune—“ says a voice, distant and strange, like it’s not quite present. “Where did you get it?”

G’raha looks around. He spots a shadow of a man, fuzzy around the edges, and shakes his head. The man does not disappear. “I don’t know,” he tells the apparition. “It just…came to me.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard it.”

“You’ve heard it before?”

The man nods.

G’raha dares a step forward. “Where?”

“It’s a very old song,” says the man. He has a mere suggestion of a face, but his voice somehow smiles for him. “You know the story of the way the world used to be?”

G’raha frowns. “There are a lot of stories like that,” he says. “Which one?”

“The story of Hades and Persephone?”

“Oh,” G’raha utters. “I…I remember a bit. Hades ruled over the underworld, but he fell in love with a woman who walked in the sun.”

“So overcome by her beauty was he that words failed him, and he sang to her, the song of his heart.” The man points to him.

G’raha hums the melody again without fully intending to. It feels warm and alive in his chest, something more than just a song, something beyond an assemblage of notes.

“Persephone grew to return Hades’ love,” the man continued, “but she could not live all the days of her life as he did, shrouded in shadow, away from the sun. Without her up above, the world turned just as dark and cold as the world down below. And so, though it pained him to do it, Hades sent her away. She could come back to visit, but never to stay. And so the world moved in seasons, lived in harmony.

“And when the world was torn asunder,” says the shadow, “so, too, was Persephone. But Hades was left behind. And it’s been winter ever since.”

G’raha looks around. The man speaks with such certainty that he doubts what he knows to be true. “It’s not winter right now,” he says.

The shadow of a man laughs cheerfully. “It’s a metaphor, of course.”

WIP Ask Meme!

[bunnimew]

Not the Junk Yard!

Fandom: Rise of the Guardians Relationship: Jack Frost/Pitch Black, Jamie/Cupcake Tags: Modern AU, Ghost AU, Jack and Pitch are ghostie boyz, Is it major character death if they start out dead and don't die harder during the fic?, Cupcake is only in one scene Rating: Teen Words: 2,954 Summary: Jamie stiffly looked forward and pointedly ignored Jack, even when his phone started playing Candy Crush on its own.

He would be fine.

His car was haunted.

He would be fine.

Or Jack and Pitch are obnoxious ghosts with nothing else to do but terrorize Jamie.

For @rotg-hope-week 2021 Prompt: Free Day! On AO3 here!

“Get off our ass, dickwad!”

“Use your turn signal, asshole!”

“Hey Idiot! That’s not how you make a U-turn!”

This was Jamie’s life now.

If he turned his head, he wouldn’t see them. Sometimes he forgot, when he opened the door and climbed inside, that just because his backseat looked empty didn’t mean it actually was.

If Jamie looked up into the rear-view mirror, they would be there.

Jack and Pitch, they told him the first week he owned this car. They had passed in a horrible accident and their spirits got stuck here. Jamie never asked if this was the car they died in, because he didn’t really want to know that.

He asked a million other questions though. He couldn’t help it! Ghosts! Real ghosts! In his car!

It was an absolute, utter, horrible, terrible pain in the ass.

But Jamie would have been so jealous if this car belonged to anyone else.

-o-

“I think it’s a day for fucking with the radio,” Jack nodded sagely. He turned his head to Pitch. “What’re you feeling?”

Pitch straightened his back and adopted a posture of confidence and poise. “I’m thinking Queen.”

“Solid choice,” Jack approved. He gestured grandly at the front of the car. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Pitch nodded once. “I would.” It took barely two seconds of static for the catchy pop song topping the charts this week to transform into Freddie crying, ‘Bicycle! Bicycle!’ and Jamie didn’t even glance over. He already knew.

His head connected with the steering wheel. “So it’s gonna be a day like that, huh?”

Jack shrugged and waved flat hands at the front seat. “I don’t know what his problem is. This song is amazing.”

“It might be that I played it last week, too,” Pitch suggested. Then grinned. “Or the inevitable hours of repeat he’s anticipating.”

“I still count that as a blessing,” Jack said, shaking his head. “Few things are more angelic than Freddie Mercury’s voice.”

Pitch took Jack’s hand and lifted the knuckles to his lips. “I could not have died and had my soul entangled to a better man.”

Jack rotated their hands and returned the sentiment with a smile. “Nor I, Pitch my love,” he dramatically declared. “Nor I!”

-o-

“In two-hundred feet, turn right on–”

“Why’s it telling you to turn here?” Jack asked. Jamie only knew he was poking Jamie’s phone because suddenly Google didn’t know which way was up and had backed all the way out of Navigation and was trying to find him fast food to eat.

“Damn it, Jack! Stop touching it!” Jamie flapped one hand at his phone, occasionally passing through what felt like weirdly cold pockets of air. He had to re-search his destination and re-enter navigation and pray he was turning right where he was supposed to, all at the same time. “You’re gonna break it! Or drain the battery, whichever comes first.”

“It’s faster to go straight and turn on 182nd. Trust me, we used to go this way all the time.”

“I kind of trust you,” Jamie tentatively said. It wasn’t a lie, if there wasn’t any GPS, Jamie would totally follow Jack’s instructions. But there was GPS, and it was telling him to turn here. “But there might be traffic or something that isn’t usually on that road, so it wants me to go around.”

“But it’s telling you to take Harding. Harding is way slower than Orange. You should turn around and go back.”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “If I turn around, I lose the, like, one minute advantage of taking this route.”

“One minute? You’re taking a slower route to save one minute?”

“It’s one minute faster!”

“It’s slower!”

“That’s literally not how that works, Jack!”

Pitch’s chuckle, borderline giggle, cut through Jamie’s screeching. “You may want to keep better control of yourself. You’re looking a bit…”

Jamie turned his head, dread and embarrassment taking hold even before he saw the man one lane over staring back at him in alarm. The man looked away quickly and started talking to the driver, but it was too late. Jamie knew they knew that he was talking to himself. It was every driver’s worst nightmare. That someone else on the road would notice what they were doing.

Jamie stiffly looked forward again and pointedly ignored Jack, even when his phone started playing Candy Crush on its own. He… mostly knew the route.

He would be fine.

His car was haunted.

He would be fine.

-o-

“Pitch?”

“Yes, Jack?”

Jack tapped his foot against the door of the car, legs propped in Pitch’s lap. He was staring at the ceiling, noting the wear in the roof lining around the dome light. “How long do you think we’ll be stuck in this car?”

Pitch shook his head. He was resting a hand on Jack’s shin, fingers pleasantly scratching back and forth. Jack was happy that being dead didn’t mean he couldn’t feel anything. “I couldn’t say. I’ve never been dead before. We could be here forever. We could move on tomorrow.”

Jack bit his lip and shifted in the seat so he sank further down, nearly lying on his back now. “What if we are stuck forever? This car’s not going to last forever. Where will we go?”

Pitch’s fingers pressed a little harder into his skin. “Wherever this broken down car goes, I suppose. A landfill? A junk yard?”

Jack closed his eyes and whined. “I don’t wanna go to a junk yard.”

Pitch rubbed soothingly into Jack’s leg. “Isn’t the whole point of this line of questioning that we may not have a choice?”

Jack covered his face with his hands. “That just means I’m gonna whine harder, Pitch.”

“Of course you are.”

“It’ll be so boring. And so lonely. We can’t, Pitch!”

Pitch sighed and leaned down to press a kiss to Jack’s thigh, just above his knee. “At least we’ll be together?”

Jack pressed his hands up into his hair so that he could look at Pitch through the frame of his wrists. That was something. He wouldn’t be completely alone, but still.

“I love you, Pitch. And I’m glad that if I’m stuck forever with someone, it’s with you. But.”

Pitch folded his hands over Jack’s knees. Of course there was a but. “But?”

“But we absolutely can not go to the junk yard!”

-o-

“This is highly rude, I just want you to know.”

Jamie knew, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. There was nowhere else in the car his new, new to him anyway, tv would fit. The screen was just too big. It had to go in the back seat. Besides, what was Jamie supposed to do if he wanted to give his friends a ride sometime? Make them crawl in the trunk instead of use the perfectly functioning back seat?

Jack and Pitch were being pretty hilarious about it though. They were honestly trying not to touch it, pressed to opposite doors and barely in their seats. Pitch was practically folded against the wall and ceiling of the car, like the tv might burn him or something.

Or maybe he might burn the tv?

Suddenly it was a lot less funny.

“I’m sorry, just don’t break it, please? It was a really good deal and I definitely can’t afford another one,” he pleaded into the rearview.

Jack looked a little panicked himself. “No promises, but it won’t be on purpose.”

That was super not reassuring at all. Jamie pressed the pedal a little harder. Now he kind of felt bad about them trying not to be in the tv. “Can’t you guys, like… sit in the front seat, maybe?”

The ghosts looked at each other, which Jamie had to shift in the seat to see because they were so far apart. Pitch looked back at Jamie. “Maybe?”

Jack, on the passenger side, was gazing deep into the upholstery like a puzzle he was struggling to solve. “We’ve had pretty free rein of the car, right? We just…” Jack’s face contorted into something like concern or discomfort. Jamie got the feeling he didn’t want to say why they hadn’t tried it, yet.

“You don’t have to!” he was quick to say. “I just thought it might be more comfortable.” And also less dangerous for the tv.

Jamie had to take his eyes off of the rearview for a while. He was driving after all, and he could check in on them but he couldn’t watch them the whole time. He heard Pitch saying, “It can’t actually hurt, right?”

“I mean, we’re already dead,” Jack replied.

Which didn’t mean a whole lot. Sure, physical pain wasn’t a consideration, but their souls were still their souls and… Jamie should really do some research on ghosts. He was shocked out of his thoughts by a sudden metaphorical bucket of ice water spilling over his back and into his very being. He nearly slammed on the brakes, but caught it just in time. Getting rear-ended right now would suck for many, many reasons.

“Oh my God, Pitch! You have to warn me when you do that!”

“I did!” Pitch was no longer in the back seat, so Jamie couldn’t see his expression. “It’s not my fault you were too distracted to hear me.”

That was fair.

“Where’s Jack?”

He heard a cough.

“With Pitch.”

Jamie smiled and actually tried looking over at his passenger seat. It was empty, of course. That was a little sad. He knew they were ghosts, but it would be cool to talk to them face to face some day. “So it worked? And you fit?”

There was a snort. Probably from Pitch. “Sort of.”

Jamie… had to shrug it off, because it probably wasn’t anything important and he had to pay attention to the road. If it was working, sort of, that would be good enough for now.

“Sorry about the back seat.”

“It’s fine,” Pitch said, and the tone of his voice said it really was. “We understand this is your car, even if we’re eternally stuck in it.”

Jamie smiled again, but didn’t try to look at them. “Honestly. I’d like this car a lot less if you weren’t stuck in it, so.”

“Aww,” Jack cooed, “I knew you liked us!”

Jamie was almost home. “I could do without the songs on repeat, but… my car is haunted! That makes it the coolest car I could have!”

“Oh, I see, so it’s not about us,” Pitch said.

Jamie pulled into his drive and put the car in park, so he was safe to look over and pretend he could see them. “Of course it’s about you. It wouldn’t be haunted without you.”

“Any ol’ ghosts could be haunting this car, Jamie.”

The pretending was getting to him, so Jamie pressed the buttons on his door to turn the passenger mirror so far in that Jamie could see Pitch and Jack reflected in it. The angle wasn’t great, because it was only one side of them, but it was something.

And it was something.

Jack was sitting sideways in Pitch’s lap, his shoulder pressed to Pitch’s chest and his head resting on Pitch’s shoulder. This meant Jamie could only see the back of his head, but that really didn’t matter, did it? Pitch’s arms were around Jack, and his head was propped against Jack’s. As he watched, Pitch’s eyes caught Jamie’s in the mirror. They were precious.

Jamie’s smile felt like it was splitting his face in two.

“Then I’m glad it’s you.”

Pitch smiled.

-o-

It was already awkward, trying to do this across the front seats. Jamie couldn’t really help that though, because if he’d tried to sit in the back with Cupcake, he would have been thinking about Pitch and Jack dodging them the whole time, the way Pitch and Jack sit and lay and stretch in that seat, the way Jamie feels cold every time he reaches back there.

He shouldn’t have bothered. The way he was leaning to reach her lips was a little bit painful and a lotta bit hard to hold, but then there was Jack, talking in his ear, “Is this your girlfriend? I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” So Jamie was thinking about them anyway, and all of his efforts were for naught.

“I kinda thought you might be gay.”

Jamie’s eyes snapped open to glare at the backseat. Jack wanted to talk about this now? Really?

“I’m just saying. I guess my gaydar is as dead as I am.”

Jamie wanted to laugh, but he also wanted to cry. And then he realized Cupcake wasn’t reacting to Jack at all. Couldn’t she hear him?

“Nope.” His expression must have given away his thoughts. “Only you can hear us. You know, just to make this as awkward as possible for you.”

Jamie definitely wanted to cry now. So he closed his eyes and chose to focus on Cupcake, who did not make him want to cry. She sure made him want a lot of other things, though.

“So…” Oh God, he really wasn’t going to stop, was he? “Should we make out too, or…?”

Jamie fought down a groan and pulled away from Cupcake to the sound of Pitch’s laughter. She wouldn’t understand why he was frustrated (And wasn’t that frustrating?), so he tried to act completely normal when he asked, “Think you might be able to sneak into my room?”

The devilish look she gave him turned Jamie’s mood right around.

-o-

“Aww, man…”

Jamie knew it would happen eventually. No car stayed in working condition forever. Something was bound to break, and it wasn’t like Jamie bought this car new or anything.

“What? What is it?” Jack’s voice was alert and panicked. Jamie felt a chill in his right shoulder that told him Jack was leaning forward between the seats.

“The engine’s overheating,” Jamie said. “I’ll have to pull over and, I dunno, try to figure out what’s causing it.”

“We’re breaking down?!”

Jack’s voice was so close that Jamie instinctively leaned away. “Uh, I guess? I hope not. I hope it’s just something easy, like… like the radiator needs coolant or something.”

“I’ll fix it!”

“Wait! No!” Jamie cried. Although he didn’t know what he was objecting to. And also it wasn’t like he could stop Jack. And also he had no idea if Jack actually could help or not, so there was… all of that. “What? Jack! Pitch!” Jamie turned in his seat, stupidly forgetting that wouldn’t help, then turned to the rearview. “What is he doing?”

Pitch looked alarmed and that did not calm Jamie down one bit. “He dove into the engine. I know nothing more than that.”

“I’ll cool it down!”

“How?! Jamie demanded. He was officially looking for any shoulder at all to pull off on. Unfortunately, this road had a curb. Stupid curbs. “How are you going to cool it down?”

“I am literally a cold spot. That has got to be useful for something.”

If Jamie weren’t so panicked about pulling over, he might have marvelled at Jack’s quick thinking. As it stood, he barely thought ‘Fair’ before he was working on the next problem.

“But you don’t even know what’s causing it! That’s not fixing, that’s duct tape! What’re you gonna do? Hang out in the engine every time I drive from now on?” Not to mention, a disembodied voice talking to him from the wrong side of his dashboard was disconcerting as hell. Odd that the disembodied voice talking to him from the backseat was no longer all that weird.

Before Jack could reply, Jamie felt another cold brush pass through his right arm and Pitch’s voice on the move. “I’ll go… see if a fan isn’t turning. Or if a hose is leaking.”

That was legitimately reassuring and Jamie felt adrift in the wake of his panic. Now what?

Right. Jamie pulled into the first parking lot he saw and stopped the car as far away from other humans as he reasonably could. The temperature gauge actually had stayed steady after Jack… yeeted himself into the engine block.

Jamie didn’t turn off the car just yet, in case leaving it on helped Pitch diagnose it. “Do you see anything?”

“The fans are turning, so it’s not that. This could be a leak, though. Might as well try the coolant.”

“So turn the car off?” Jamie asked.

“Turn the car off,” Pitch confirmed.

As the engine quieted down, Jack’s voice filtered through the dash. “So it’s fixable? We’re not going to the junk yard?”

Jamie snorted. “I was more thinking we’d go to the mechanic.”

“We’re not going to the junk yard,” Pitch confirmed again.

“Why are you guys talking about a junk yard?”

Suddenly half of Jamie was swathed in ice and when he looked up, Jack’s determined face took up more than half of the rearview mirror. “I will fix this car with sheer spite and will power if that’s what it takes to keep us out of the junk yard.”

Oh. Jamie didn’t really know what to say. Jamie’s panic over mechanic bills and inconvenience sure seemed inconsequential next to Jack and Pitch’s eternal damnation to a trash pile. Put like that...

“You guys can be a real pain in my ass sometimes, but…” Jamie shook his head and laughed disbelievingly. Repeat music, broken electronics, no making out in his own car, all sucked pretty hard, but moments like this made him realize. Jamie would also do damn near anything to keep them out of the junk yard. “I really hope I get to drive this car forever.”

[popculturebuffet]

Legend of the Three Cablleros: Nazca Racing and Mexico A-Go-Go

Saludos Amgios and welcome back to The Ride of the Three Caballeros! And we’re almost at the finish line! After this reviews only 4 episodes, 2 reviews and a top 12 list/celebration of this long and fun as hell journey, this one for free to thank kev for paying for all these reviews and because without him this probably woudlnt’ of happened for some time and I thank him for that. Point is we’re so close I can taste it to being finished here so with nothing else to cover, after the cut we’re diving right into adventure.. literally. 

Nazca Racing: 

So we open at the outside of Sheldgoose Manor as while we’re not at the scene of the action YET, the show has kept it’s tendency to have intresting intros as it goes on. Point is Xandra is incredulous about the guys claims of a magic barrier.. for some reason. Seriously Sheldrake is a powerful sorecerer, has a lair, even if they don’t know about that part, why WOULDN’T his place be shielded from you guys? Still she has to test it punchiing it , arrowing it and throwing a rock at it.. and the rock does take out a window prove it even if i’ts vandalism but that wasn’t a crime thousands of years ago and no one saw them so we good. 

Our heroes brainstorm back at the Cabana what to do, ignoring the girls suggestion that since the cabs can’t get through the barrier they can but are ignored because ... I dunno. I seriously dont’ know, they haven’t treated the kids like this before or since. Also if you were wondering why not humphrey, spark of life. Too risky. But this discourse is interupted as there’s a signal in peru. The trap has been sprung and the girls warn it might be since they KNOW the cabs will show up where they are and have time to plan but are brushed off. We also get the start of a thread with Jose as he gives all his money to some kittens who are actually con artists. Turns out that’s WHY he’s poor: he gets money easily but donates it all to bogus charities. You know like Louie’s kids or PETA. It’s a nice character trait, showing despite being a lady’s man and having a bit of an ego.. he’s still a very good guy if very, VERY gullible. Hopefully it comes up againa s this smacks of a flaw brought up and solved in one episode, and while ti’s adressed her it really dosen’t get resolved, but with 5 episodes left after this I HIGHLY doubt it. 

So our heroes are off to the Nasca lines of having gotten there with the help of a shady pilot... instead of you know.. porting there.. but given the Nazca Lines are best seen from air according to wikipedia and best shown off that way, as well as the fact it’s revealed you can enter the realm the creatures represented in the lines inhabit via plunging into it, it does make sense. She could’ve TOLD them all this before going but this is one of her off days. The Nazca Lines are a real life set of geoglypys that look really damn cool, and show up in all sorts of works, the two off the top of my head are Mega Man Starforce 2 where their used as the basis for the villians, and Yu-Gi-Oh! 5ds, where there used for the basis for the earthbound immortals.. also villians, a series of powerful and evil gods, and naturally represented by cards, that bring people back from the dead to serve as their avatars, known as the dark signers. 

As you can see they also look really fucking awesome. Sadly I have not had a deck with them as I haven’t really thought about it and you need a field spell to keep them alive, but still good stuff. Really need to watch that arc in full some day. 

Point is the plane starts to fall apart because the pilot swindled them, or rather Jose, and they have to jump without a parachute as there’s only one. Xandra of course leaps first forgetting her friends don’t have god strength or durability and will just go squish if her logic doesn’t pan out. Panchito naturally leaps without thinking and Jose decides why not and sky captain and the crappy plane he bought for 5 bucks decides to snatch the parachute so Donald’s forced to leap.  It does work though and we do get one of the best parts of the series thus far: our heroes are drawn in chalk which is beautiuflly animated and a really creative idea. Granted the magic chalk thing dosen’t make a LOT of sense given the lines are carved in.. but at the same time we’re talking about three talking birds and a goddess chasing after an overweight one percenter, his talking staff and said talking staff’s son/lover/donkeybatmonkeyrat. Exact accuracy to real life can be waved just a smidge. Point is they find Mono, a monkey and one of the guardians of the lines, who Feldrake apparently trapped, though Xandra is suspcious. NOW, after their already in the trap basically. 

But yeah Mono tells them Feldrake is going after the Nazca Gyroscope, a device at the center of the earth that keeps the earth orbiting the sun. 

Point is our heroes have to stop him though Xandra is again suspcious as Feldrake wants to conquer the world not destroy it....  forgetting the whole lava lizard scheme... just.. seriously what was his plan there. rule over a pile of ashes.. actually given Feldrake’s competence and intellegence so far. that’s probably exactly it. Why is Sheldgoose the one getting called fool a lot again?

So we get another really stellar Musical Number, draw the line as our heroes progress through the Nazca world. Also I forgot to mention but earlier, in a nice bit of setup, we set up both that jose is a talented artist, which comes in handy here, while donald struggles and doubts himself. Can.. .can relate. Say that a lot but REALLY can relate. They end this wonderful song easing on down the road while our villians watcht hem.. instead of you know going ahead up and erasing them as is their plan. 

Meanwhile, the trips sneak into Sheldgooses mansion trying to find some sort of evil scheme or lair or some clue they can use. But instead june, looking for some secret in the money vault, instead is caught by security so a chase insues and our heroines spend the episode barely outrunning the security dogs.. who SHeldgoose apparently raised. 

Don’t.. DON’T want to think about THAT any longer than I have to. Point is they find Feldrake’s hidden lair we saw in the second episode where Sheldgoose found the staff. Not bad stuff, just really not something I need to spend an hour recapping. 

So our heroes continue along encountering Hanzy, another guardian with giant hands who they free from a finger trap.. and her reasoning is both adorable and chucklesome, as Sheldgoose, having a piece of the chalk, drew a finger trap and never having had one in her size she just had to try it. So the party gains another member as they tread carefully past the spider, the final guardian and one who will eat them without a second thought.  With that they reach the gyroscope.. and Mono turns on the cabs revealing Sheldgoose tricked him into thinking they were the bad guys and this is naturally a trap. And that is part of the episodes problem: the tension from “well their walking straight into a trap” is kinda.. nonexistant. OUr heroes ran in blind, and even when suspicious in the liens being on their guard amounts to nothing and we know from last episode this is a trap. It’s one thing to have a plan turn out to be a trap for the heroes or for the villians, as we’ll see later this week, that’s fine.. but either the audience isn't aware or there’s general tension from our heroes not knowing. Here there’s none of that. 

So our heroes are trapped in a cage while Sheldgoose and Feldrake head up top to erase them, as if their drawings on hte line, the way they came in are erased so are they. It’s a good plan.. and the tension is dissipated again as hanzy just casually tosses the cage off, mono apologizes and our heroes use the chalk to draw themselves flying machines, with Donald only having a balloon and a basket. Comedic gold.  Despite once again any dramatic tension this episode evaporating like ..t ears in the rain? I dunno I don’t have a metaphor that works here. Despite this the race is genuinely thrilling with sheldgoose busting out a shark rocket launcher since neither Feldrake nor Xandra’s magic work in the lines. Nice touch by the way. But he runs out of chalk (”You should’ve learned how to conserve space!”) though our villians reach the exit first by unleashing the spider, who Jose tries to smooth talk into not eating them.. and Donald, like me afriad of spiders, iconically shouting “KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE!”

The heels erase Hansy, which is genuinely sad. Our heroes do escape in time though before he can get them and while Feldrake makes a speech in an awesome moment, Xandra just.. ignores it and fills him full of arrows.. well the g rated equilvent about that, I don’t think any of us want to see Wayne Knight bleed buckets. I”m still not over that scene from Jurassic Park where we saw nothing but I imagined it all right.. I.. imagined it *shudders*

So i’m scared for life but our heroes are free and revive hanzy with the chalk and we get a really sweet payoff to Donald’s trouble drawing as his new finger for her is a bit crooked but she loves it. It shows even if your art isn’t as good as other people’s it’s still worth something. A nice message. Feldrake once again berates Sheldgoose who points out the cabs can escape death again and again... giving Feldrake the idea to go talk to death personally. And yeah these teases... while I get this series was made for streaming.. they keep hurting the story slightly like they did here. Though I will give them credit this one.. ends up ratcheting up the tension next time so props. 

Final thoughts on Nazca Racing:  This one was decent. The animation was gorgeous and always the jokes were top notch, and the subplot was a nice opportunity for the triplets to take the stage and have an adventure.. but the plot banks a lot on our heroes walking into a very obvious trap and that just sours things for me. Still it’s not a bad episode like “World Tree Caballeros” or “No Man is an Easter Island” for the reasons stated above. And there was no daisy for an episode so while I badly wanted to find out how she’d react to the events last episode, we also got a break from her being bitchzilla, queen of monsters for an episode.. for an episode. “Sigh”

Mexico-A-Go-Go:

Okay back on form. Our heroes return home to find.. a conspiracy board all around the house. 

Sadly it’s not that but it turns out the girls haven’t slept since the mansion and while Donald objects to their breaking and entering, they soon reveal what htey found: The Sheldgooses have all been linked to eveyr major disaster over the centuries... ever since Feldrake, who we see as a mortal for the first time, holding his OWN book as a counterpart to the heroes. They also uncovered a connection to Clinton coot and the sheldgooses but don’t have time to elaborate before Donald waves them off to check his messages.  Unsurprisingly it’s Daisy who says “In light of recent events” i.e. you know seeing Donald’s friend save her life, dapper abandon her and seeing donald fight an evil sorcerer and wrangle a bear, to give him one more second chance. 

Yeah i’ve spent a good chunk of this series complaining about Daisy.. and given she appears in the final two episodes i’m probably not finished. But this is just.. wow. So now she KNOWS, if not all the details that Donald and his friends are entangled in something big and scary, that involves a lives bear and actual fucking magic, so that his ducking out on her last time was NOT him being irresponsible or going to hang with his pals or something stupid, but probably something pretty important, she’s not fully aware of everything but she’s aware ENOUGH to know Donald really is making something of himself or at least is trying and really didn’t mean to mistreat her.. and she STILL is giving him fucking ultimatums!

I just.. i’m so done with this whole fucking subplot. All of it. Not just Daisy, Donald constnatly having a moan about loosing her and whining about going on missions to save the world instead of keeping this ungrateful, bossy, self esteem shattering, shrill, selfish, gold digging, impossibly high stand’s keeping big gulp full of bitch. 

Donald.. buddy YOU CAN DO BETTER. Xandra’s right there and even if she’s not interested there’s a WHOLE TOWN of rich, eligible ladies. Go woo one of them! it’s hard getting out there, believe me I know, it’s VERY hard and i’ll probably die alone.. but your a good man, you have good friends. Friends who’ve screwed up yes but good friends to wingman and wingwoman for you. Just... leave Daisy behind. It’s not good for your mental health to keep bending over backwards for someone who wants you to be something you’ll NEVER be. Who wants someone sophisticated and with a steady job.. and the latter part’s never going to happen now your a Caballero, and given that’s more important.. good! If she can’t see what you do or won’t take the time to fucking listen... MOVE. ON. I know moving on’s hard but you have to. For your own health. Staying stuck in place over a person just hurts you and them. 

And as for Daisy..  this is easily the worst version of the character. And I went into this FULLY KNOWING this version was bad, FULLY KNOWING she was going to be grating and some of the things she’d pull like Dapper thanks to spoilers. It’s why I held off watching this for so long.. and turns out while it was worth it, the series is quite good, my fears were JUSTIFIED and no amount of reading it could prepare me for how terribly written and horribly damaging this all is.  And I do mean damaging: Kids pick things up from media. And while I should’ve caught on sooner, can’t fully blame a cartoon, I did as a kid and teen get my idea of romance from cartoons and tv and thus got the idea that pining after someone in secret was okay and they’ll come around eventually and starring at them and what not is entirely fine and not creepy. Of course it isn’t, of coure you have to say something, and of course you have to let it go if there with someone else. I know that NOW, and there have been much better geek gets the girl plots. .but it still seriously fucked with my autistic brain’s view on friendships with women, something I still struggle with at times.  And that’s why I take this shit seriously: Because while thankfully I never bought into THAT , shit where “it’s okay if it’s a WOMAN, abusing a MAN”. Men can be abused to. It’s why we had SO SO MANY unfunny stalker characters in the 2000′s, and so many plots like this where the guy is wrong.. because h’es male and his partner being domineering and expecting him to change everything without doing anything for them or treating them as an equal.. is just not okay.  And it speaks to a bigger problem.. out of touch writers who assume because THEIR wives are only with them out of obligation that’s how ALL relatoinships work, when no it’s not get a divorced please god. The Duckverse REALLY doesn’t need this According to Jim, My Wife and Kids, George Lopez, Home Improvement, Cleveland Show, King of Queens, Dinosaurs, Rick and Morty, Glen Martin DDS, etc all bullshit. People break up and Donald deserves better. And I genuinely blame both EP Matt Daner and Tony Anselmo for this. And I have a LOT of respect for both guys, i’ve made that very clear.. but Matt as EP and thus the one in charge fo the overall storyline is clearly the one who thought of this and Tony, who helped write for Donald this series, didn’t either get Tress, whose been doing daisy for two decades and is as knolwedgle for her as he is for donald the same courtsey or chime in given he should know daisy better. Both of these men should know better. Danner wrote for Xiaolin Showdown, that had great female characters for the most part and Tony is a grown ass man whose worked with women and is married as far as I know. Figure it out.  This Daisy thing has EASILY been the worst part of this retrospective as a whole, the worst part of this series and probably the worst thing i’ve seen in a duck property.. and again I saw daisy ACTUALLY HIT DONALD. 

And this is worse. Because instead of one moment of terrible writing and misplaced slapstick that comes off as abuse, it’s just a constnat barage of emotoinal abuse treated as if i’ts DONALD’S fault. Donald did nothing wrong to her and his only crime is obessing of this hellspawned hardian. Fuck this entire plot with a garden rake lined with acid.

Also just a quick note before we speed through Daisy’s screentime to get to the good part of the episode, there’s, at least no yet NO proper reaction to Donald’s new life and it bothers me it bothers me a lot. She learns he has this whole secret life and has no fucking questions just more of the same old bullshit. “SIGH”

So yeah this b-plot: Donald wants to stay for Daisy

And the others drag him along though this time.. Donald comes off as the asshole because he KNOWS they need him, knows he’s useful and knows this is more important but drags his feet anyway for someone who again, has done NOTHING good for him. And even with the girls saying the’ll help and telling him to keep the mirror handy, he still keeps complaning up until the plans reveaeld. 

The plan, which.. May I think, the orange one. I know June is purple, but while May isn’t on board for this, the plan is to have April and June do the totoem pole trench and have donald be the face. So the entire plan is basically this

They have an actually nice date till the ruse is revealed, and while he says “I can explain” which he can.. she PUNCHES the mirrror saying explain this. 

So our heroes need to go to Mexico, Panchito’s homeland and somehow, in a series based on and starring primarily south american characters... one of the two times we visit the region and the only time we visit one of the cabs two home countries. Now the latter part i’m fair on since they were likely saving Brazil for the season 2 that never happened and didn’t want to blow their load just yet. The other part.. not so much. I’m not saying set the entire series there, there’s a lot of world, but most of the locations aside from the world tree are pretty common for globetrotting adventure: Easter Island, Stonehenge, Mt. Rushmore, The Pyramids, the Moon, and coming up Camelot and Shangri La. These aren’t BAD settings mind and are used creatively and probably will be in the two I haven’t seen, and the setups involving king arthur and a yeti spa do sound like they wont’ dispoint, but you had a real opportunity to teach kids, and my grown man self, about South America and ya blew it. 

But we’re in Mexico where after meeting a spooky cloaked guy who says they might not leave alive

So our heroes enter the temple and the other side and find a bunch of chickens who see Panchito, who insisted on the trip due to his luchadores code of always helping the incident, as a god and their chosen champion for the goddess of light as the preistess explains. So we get a montage of Panchito getting pampred while the other cabs get pushed around, ending at a restraunt.  Xandra is naturally suspcious as the locals are being AWFUL vauge about what’s going on here, and this is getting pretty midsomar. Donald is distracted by daisy and Jose is distracted by a beautiful senorita, leaving Xandra to TRY and get panchito to think.. before being distracted herself by a mysterious handsome latino gentleman in black. Though during the dance with thier respective partners, Xandra and Jose both remark that it’s weird.. but are distracted by the sexy long enough for it to be revealed what Panchito’s duty is: as the champion of life.. he has to fight the champion of death. No Prize for guessing who. Though unlike with “Nazca Racing” where the teaser removed all tension since we knew it was a trap, here the teaser last episode helps, as we don’t see Team Feldrake till this moment, and we know something involving death itself.. and finding out panchtio’s representing life just ratchets up tension: we know the bad guys are involved.. but we don’t know how or what they’ll do. 

And the how is simple: A one on one wrasslin match! 

Or lucha match since we Panchito’s a luchador and we’re in mexico. He’s wearing his usual outfit while Sheldgoose is wearing standard wrestling tights.. so a superstar babyface versus a heel comentator... but actually entertaining this time. As you can tell I love wrestling. While i’m more of a casual fan, I watch OSW and some other wrestling youtubes and don’t really watch the product at the moment, I do love and respect the sport and love a good wrestling episode or series of television as a result, so this hits the spot. 

So the match goes on and Panchito has the clear lead as Sheldgoose is playing by college wrestling rules and Panchito is playing by pro wrestling rules. And while you can use standard holds well you gotta mix the two together kurt angle style. Eventually Xandra decides to confront the sexy bird and sexy boy, and finds out, in a twist I didn’t see coming they ARE the god of life and god of death, respectively. While I knew this was a fight to the death, as death explains, a symbolic battle between the two with real stakes to keep ballance, I thought these two were just illusions brought up to keep Xandra and Jose from leaving or digging deeper. Instead they were just doing it on their own and as the god of death shows, they were genuinely intrested. I mean... why not get some while preparing to have your champions do battle. God for you death god, multitasking like that. Same for you goddess of life. Get it girl, you get after it. Jose is a fine man. I’d tap that if I could. Get after it.  So Xandra warns Panchito who finds taking life against his code and Jose again shows his awesomeness by pointing out the obvious: the match is timed, so if they run out the clock it’s a draw. Might lead to something but it’s better than nothing. So Panchito TRIES this, but Sheldgoose has leopold “Throw mommy to daddy” (One of my faviorite gags of the episode), and wacks him with feldrake before the whole thing becomes a brawl. And the god of Death does not take DQ’s or outside intefernce well and instead kills them all for breaking the rules. 

Not kidding. The main cast is DEAD minus Xandra, as Death still wanted to bone her, but she refuses. So now Xandra is left while al lher friends are dead while the god and goddess head off in his caddy to go knock over mailboxes I guess. 

Final Thoughts on Mexico-A-Go-Go:  Outside of .. certain parties, this was a REALLY fun one, with a great wrestling theme, a great mystery and the awesomeness that was the god of death, who was smooth, cool and thoroughly interesting and I wish there was a second season and his and xandra’s dynamic was really interesting. One of the series best, helped by the fact the Daisy bit while thoroughly irritating, was religated to a pretty funny subplot, with May being understandably skeptical of the plan, it somehow working and the sheer redicuonsess. It dosen’t make daisy tolerable, but it makes the episode better. 

[thefigureinthecorner]

finished my bryant siblings playlist cover!! (reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tag the first time around)

playlist notes under the cut

okay so first off: 5 out of 11 songs on this playlist are by radical face because i have no shame and also it’s not my fault ben cooper is incredibly good at Sad Family Songs

always gold- radical face: hi this song kills me, that is all. choosing specific lyrics is difficult and i highly recommend looking up the full lyrics, but this bit specifically makes me think abt the bryant parents and them rejecting mark for being atypical--

We were opposites at birth I was steady as a hammer No one worried 'cause they knew just where I'd be And they said you were the crooked kind That you would never have no worth But you were always gold to me

hey brother- avicii: just like. they v much have an “i would p much die for you” type of sibling bond, and this song reminds me a lot of how joan spent literal years trying to find mark and get him back; “Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you/There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do”

sisters- radical face: again, bryant parents being assholes, esp the whole thing about how joan is implied to have practically raised mark because their parents were fairly absent-- also the line “never knew what it meant to be whole and free” broke me lol

I tied your shoes while you sat and watched the rain Hands folded across your lap, and a dull look of peace across your face Mom down the hall, Bible pressed to her chest She swore the Devil hides in everything, and her room was the only safe haven left She watched us grow through window panes

vienna- the fray: the fact that joan expected everything to go right back to old times, while mark has five years of trauma piled onto him now and he’s not the same person he was before, nor will he ever be; the repetition of “There's really no way to reach me/’Cause I'm already gone”

everything costs- radical face: i think this playlist is just me getting mad at the bryant parents a whole bunch honestly,,,, anyway just

I heard you say that you'd lost, you'd lost, you'd lost your way But I don't think you had much to lose, that house was never built for you And I ain't gonna hang my head for them, for them And I ain't gonna let them paint the truth with sin And I ain't gonna tell you it's okay but at the end of the day You were just something they'd blame

dead wrong- the fray:

If only I knew what I know I'd make it a point to say so To everyone that got me here And everyone that made it Clear I was dead wrong all along You said it for my sake That I would not lose my way When I was astray

the moon is down- radical face: EPISODE 56. that is all.

You were never at rest You were always somewhere-bound But as for me, I'm the simple kind I'll live and die in this town And I know my home ain't big enough That it would only keep you down And I'd hate to see you caged So all that I ask Is you come say hi when you're around It ain't much But it's good enough for me

i miss those days- bleachers: this is more of a mark song but it definitely is like. mark in relationship to joan; looking around and seeing just how much everything’s changed in the last 5 years, and how much joan has changed in the last five years

And everyone is changing And the storefront's rearranging I picked up a quarter and I just saw my face But it's all coming back now Like the feeling isn't over Hey, I know I was lost but I miss those days

homesick- radical face: similar to the above-- the two of them have changed a lot in the past five years.

But even though I am lost all the time I've got hooks in my sides that you left there But you're not the same, you died along the way Now we're ghosts and we're praying for winter

everything stays- olivia olsen: i’ve made art with this song in the past!! it’s like. even though the two of them have changed a lot over time, there are still some similarities, which i think joan latches on to in her quest for things to be “just like old times;” the huggermugger stuff, the hot chocolate, the sing-along protocol, all that stuff that’s very much theirs that hasn’t really gone away but obviously it’s changed

like, huggermugger reminds mark of their parents; mark wants to make the hot chocolate on his own because he isn’t a little kid anymore and doesn’t want joan to treat him like he is; the musical nights aren’t just theirs anymore because sam (and occasionally the rest of the atypical gang) is around and so they’re sharing those moments with more people now

i’m also thinking abt the notebook here-- in joan’s notes about the notebook she mentioned a lot of the pages had been lost to general wear and tear and so in a more literal meaning, the “when you finally find it, you’ll see how it’s faded” bit. the notebook still exists, but it’s not the same as it was; there’s something missing from it.

which, yknow, is kind of just a metaphor for joan and mark in general, now that i think about it.

i have a lot of feelings about this song.

next to me- sleeping at last: thinking abt the notebook again here

Oh, our futures were written with crayons in coloring books It was misspelled and outside the lines and we loved how it looked Like the crooked hem of your favorite childhood dress And the holes in my jeans from years of carelessness I know since we've grown, we ache for those memories Honestly, nothing's even compared to you next to me, next to me

[fipindustries]

Mouth Dreams analysis

MOUTH DREAMS

I dont even need to introduce to you the marvelous mash up works of neil cicierega’s mouth trilogy (now quadrilogy i guess). We all know them, we all love them and we all have our own interpretations of what they mean. For some merely musical shitposting, for others clever experimentation laden with phrases, leivmotifs and themes repeating here and there, and for many a deep and rich bounty of lore, hidden messages, subtextual stories and underlying narratives implied across multiple variations of all star, hidden in the meta data and uncovered only after doing spectrographic analysis on the soundwaves of the songs after being played at x0.000003 times the speed. It is usually understood that all the albums together form a unique and rich tapestry, a coherent whole that can be understood in its totality. Im not here to do that.

I came up with my own interpretation of what Mouth Dreams can be read as, independent from the other albums. Think of it as me presenting this entry as the soundtrack of a musical with its own self contained story. It is the interpretation that i chose to go by and i hope its understood the brilliance of these albums lies on how weird and vague and open ended they are such that any number of different readings can be extracted from them. So lets see the one i extracted, without further ado, lets begin.

Yahoo

It is an out of context, in media res, start for the whole story. We hear a voice, echoing in the void, yelling at the top of its lungs, reaching desperately for human conection. One form of looking at this song is that the voice only receives an empty response from its own echoes, but i dont take it like that. The song is too sublime and too beautiful for these, the notes soaring too high, the desperate plead is being answered. Someone is listening to the plead and answering right back, harmonizing.

This whole album is in a way that howl, reaching to others, and we the audience are answering back, listening. But also on another level, this whole album is the protagonist telling the tragic story of his own life to some sympathetic figure who wants to help, perhaps a therapist, perhaps a friend, perhaps a partner, we’ll see. And as the yelling subsides the story starts proper.

Mouth dreams (intro)

We are being slowly taken into the story, entering the psyche of the main character, entering their subconscious, their dreams, their memories and therefore, their past. We’ll see what life they led and how they ended up where they are now and we start right at his infancy with….

Spongerock

Spongebob is a great indicator that we are seeing this person’s early childhood. They seem to be a rambunctious and energetic child. Cheerful and enthusiastic, yet there seems to be some underlying aggression there. The music is a bit to strong, and in comes freddy mercury berating the poor kid “you’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace”. Who is this entity being so hostile to a poor kid? What lies beneath that image of a happy kid? We are about to see on the next song.

Just a baby

This is where trouble starts. We are treated to a dramatic song about a poor young baby who seems to be having a pretty sad life. Justin bieber, former teen idol, keeps lamenting about the poor baby being stuck in baby jail. This song is very much about loss of innocence. A shadowy figure of the mother is introduced who tells the protagonist to be a good boy. And almost at the end of the song we get a suggestion of what’s so wrong on this poor kid’s life. His mother apparently “shot a man in reno”. We dont know if this is a literal thing the mother did or if this is a metaphor for the mother doing something horrible, commiting some crime, harming someone in some way. While its not clarified we see strong hints of what the mother could have done in the next song

Superkiller

As we worry what may be so wrong with this kid’s mother we come across the title for this song, ominous. Now in the original Psycho killer the killer was clearly the singer, but in here the song is twisted and turned a bit, recontextualized by the beats of “cant touch this”. It seems like this time is the singer the one who doesnt want to be touched by some nefarious figure (the mother? Is the mother a psycho killer?) maybe the kid saw the mother killing people “i dont like people when they’re on fire”. whatever the case might be the kid is clearly strung up and under a lot of stress and we are introduced to the first hint of the insomnia that will plague this persons life who cant sleep because “my bed’s on fire”. The horrible situation in which this kid is living is taking a severe toll on their mental health. How is he going to cope with this?

Get happy

I think everyone can agree that “come on get happy” is incredibly unnerving when mindlessly repeated over and over. A first read might suggest the kid is forced to put on a happy face, to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on with their life. But as the song progresses it could also be interpreted as the kid being tempted to find refuge from the horror by unsavory methods “get happy” as in acquire happiness of a forced and artificial kind, perhaps drugs. But also “we’ll make you happy”. The kid is not running into a rabbit hole on their own, they are being invited. Its possible that the kid is being seduced by a bad crowd to move into seedy circles as an escape from their life.

Ribs

In here we see the kid, probably a young teenager by this point as suggested by the use of marylin manson in this song, falling deep into debauchery. The specific kind is not needed to know, it could be drugs, it could be sexual experimentation, it could be criminality. Point is this is unhealthy and dangerous and depraved, emphasized by the title of the song “ribs” as a reference to the rumor that marilyn manson removed two of his ribs in order to perform autofellatio. Whatever the case it clearly works, the song is actually a great bop, energetic and upbeat, the kid is content with the situation, at least for a while…

My mouth

This song is the coming down from the high. In here we see at full blast how the life of depravity on the one side and their situation at home on the other have turned the character into a hardcore insomniac, their health is severy compromised “My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull”. Another way to read this song is as we momentarily cutting back to the present. After all, what we have been seeing until now has been dreams/memories and this is a short look at the wreck that the person is as a grown up, stirring awake from their memories and trying desperately to forget or to go back to sleep where they can have a reprieve. As evidenced by the next song

Aerolong

I dont wanna miss a thing is completely turned on its head. As the lyrics clearly demonstrate is the protagonist who cant go to sleep being chased by their memories, specifically the memories of their mother “I don't miss you, babe, and I do want to miss a thing”. As the person is tossing and turning on their bed, unable to sleep they talk about how they dont miss their mother at all and they want to “miss” her as in they want to forget her.

Sleepin’

The character is constantly speaking about how they are “sleeping with their clothes on” this is due to them falling asleep during their everyday life because of their lack of sleep every night, this person is barely functional, their sleep schedule is broken. Also since this song is about the character actually sleeping it also works as a bridge back into their dreams and so into their past.

Aammoorree

Is another vignette about the character sinking into disreputable states in order to escape their shitty situation as a teenager, this time very specifically about being completely drunk and perhaps experiencing romance for the first time. The character is probably at a club or a party, drunkenly hitting on someone, though chances are without much success as the song becomes increasingly more incoherent and we go into a full black out. This gets bad enough that the person finally has to take a look and….

Where is my mom

….stop. It is highly suggestive that in the album the “stop” is part of this song rather than the last one. The person is not only stopping their current alcoholic binge. They are stopping the entire situation and taking a good look at their life, finally confronting face to face what is happening and why it is so wrong. Now “stacy’s mom” was always kind of an inappropriate song due to it being about a child having a crush on their friend’s mom, as sung by an adult. But as it is recontextualized by the instruments of “where is my mind” it takes on a much darker tone. The romantic words are still there but now with a sinister bent. This time the main character asks their friend if they can go and take refuge at their house and when they ask if the mom is going to be there they sound more scared than eager, specially suggested by the way he seems to be stammering the word “pool”, they are nervous and terrified. They also talk about stacy’s mom as “all they want and been waiting for so long”, probably because all they want is a normal, loving mother. Presumably this song is about the main character finally talking about what is going on at his house with a friend, confessing and that confession gives way to realization

Fredhammer

Then realization gives way to anger. During this whole song we see the teenage character finally grasping how fucked up the whole situation is and he gets progressively more worked up with each successive aggravation “Why did it take so long? Why (hoo!), did I wait so long, huh?

Why??? To figure it out, but I did it (huh?)”. From this we transition to the kid actually confronting their mom face to face. The line “So you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah!)” can be read as the mother trying to pretend there is nothing wrong or pacifying the kid with empty gestures of motherhood, by making cookies and the kid spitting that back into their face. The kid gets more and more worked up through the song as we seamlessly transition to the next one.

Limp Wicket

This song is pure incoherent chaos but something very important can be rescued out of the chaos. This song uses the lyrics from the “ewok celebration” which is presumably the song the ewoks sing in return of the jedi after the empire was defeated. So in a way is the kid celebrating that he finally confronted their mother and presumably defeated her. This is emphazised by the recurrence of the lyrics ““So you can take that cookie”. Is not specified how the mother is defeated, maybe social services or the police get involved, maybe the kid runs away, either way this song is triumphant. The evil entity that stole his childhood and innocence has been defeated.

Cannibals

This song is slightly different from the rest. It works as a form of victory lap after the defeat of the mother figure, but also as an intermission since it lies smack dab in the middle of the album, and finally as a transitionary song from childhood to adulthood. Is a time skip, we get to see the person grow up in fast forward as the THX song hits its crescendo. This song also makes it perfectly clear that, even though she was left behind, the mental scars that the mother left are still there and still fresh and still very much stopping them from sleeping “She drives me crazy

And I can't help myself”. 

The outsiders

This works as a way to recontextualize us in the life of the character as an adult. Our so called “feature presentation”. It is not altogether clear who these people being introduced are. They could be the people who came to mean something in this persons life as they grew up after trauma, probably multiple foster homes, social workers, friends, bosses, co workers, etc. the fact that they are being enumerated dissapasionatly could indicate how most of his social relationships were basically a meaningless blur for him who grew up socially distant due to trauma. It could also represent the multiple roles that our character was forced to take as they grew up and the multiple things that went through his mind or meant something. There is clearly some desperate attempts to recapture their lost childhood as figures such as “inspector gadget” or “the ninja turtles part three” are named. The song is a fast montage of views and places. That prepares us for the next song.

Johnny

We finally zoom in and take a good look at our main character as an adult. A sad, pathetic figure, hurt and lonely, possibly not very well liked and certainly not respected as we hear boos all around. Despite all this the character is clearly committing themselves to be a good person, to not hurt others like he was hurt and specifically to not commit the same crimes that their mother commited.

Closerflies & Nightmovin

These two songs might as well work as a single piece since they are both more or less about the same thing. We reiterate how this person has been turned into an insomniac due to the trauma that they experienced as a child “When I'm far too tired to fall asleep”. They are delirious and barely coherent, possibly hallucinating as they think about their life in bed. This is clearly hell on earth and it seems like its just never going to stop “Can't wake up in a sweat

'Cause it ain't over yet” but, with neil’s classic sense of humor, the song immediately ends.

Now that could just be for the sake of irony but there is also another level in which it could be read. This suffering stops because something suddenly changes in this person’s life. What could that be?

Whitehouse

“I fell in love with a girl”

As the lyrics say, the main character met someone special and they are deeply in love. But also, because of the past that weighs heavily on him, he is very trepidatious about wether to go on with the relationship or not. He knows he is damaged goods and he doesnt want to drag her down as well, these fears make it so he never fully opens up to her about his issues “She turns and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I must be fine because my heart's still beating." 

Wah

The use of “war” by edwin starr is a clever reference about how everything is fair in love and war. Now this song is an important departure since it is sung from the point of view of the girl our main character fell in love with. She is a feisty woman who is very clearly trying to establish the terms of the relationship and demanding her partner to open up which the main character, due to his insecurities, takes as a declaration of war and which he deflects by playing dumb, hence the repeated use of the silly “WAH” by wario. 

Pee Wee Inc

The emotional distance from the man is putting a strain in the relationship, so what once was supposed to “feel good” is now this melancholic and unbearable situation. Is no mistake that the song sampled here is “the breakfast machine” from pee wee’s big adventure. After all  a neglected partner can feel like a breakfast machine, an object that is there just to make your breakfast. On top of this you can see that the insomnia hasnt gone away “My dreams, they got a kissing 'cause I don't get to sleep, no”. In a lot of ways the girlfriend is feeling used as just a relief from the man’s suffering but not as someone who is being truly loved.

1000 spoons

We go back to the woman’s perspective. At first it just seems like a simple melancholic situation where she is sad the relationship is not working, but then we see the woman have a full mental breakdown as the song changes and becomes much more deranged and we get to see what is really happening. The man ran away on their wedding day. This is represented by the lyrics “is like rain on your wedding day” because it means the wedding has been ruined. She is heartbroken by this.

Mouth dreams (extro)

Appropriately as the previous song talked about a wedding being ruined by “rain” this song begins with the sound of rain. This is the big emotional climax of the story, the music at its most dramatic. Now i will admit, even for me this is a stretch, im willing to concede most of what i am about to say is essentially built out of whole cloth and me wanting to fit a neat full narrative into this album where there is none, but hey, what is art for?

Essentially the man is about to commit suicide, possibly by jumping off a bridge in the rain as suggested by the song being sampled “drowning”. The fact that this song is named after the album is a way to signify how everything that we have just seen weighs heavily on the man’s heart, his whole life, his memories, his trauma, and he is finally ready to end it all. He jumps.

But at the last second his wife jumps after him and drags him to the shore, the last we see is her trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, as indicated by the song,”love me mouth to mouth now…” he is unconscious and presumably finally sleeping peacefully (maybe dead?) “...cover me with dreams, yeah”.

It might look like he will not survive, as implied by the sinister version of all star encroaching over the song. But as it looks like all hope is lost he finally WAKES UP.

In a way this song is also when we finally catch up with the start of the album where we saw the man desperately hollering for human contact and merely echos responding, except now someone finally answered, and he is finally ready to open up and share his story.

Brithoven

Even though this song is sung by a single person i choose to take it as a dialog between the couple, both of them sharing their regrets about their relationship with each other, her recriminating the fact that she couldnt have known what he was going through “oh baby bay, how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right here” and him finally admitting that he needs help “My loneliness is killing me”.

Finally they both agree to try it again and give their relationship a second chance “hit me baby one more time”

Ain’t

Part of me is conflicted about this song, i kind of want to disregard it, mainly because i think its kind of a weird way to end an album and also because i just dont feel is a very good mashup really. The lyrics dont mix that well with the song, they are paced in an inconsistent way and overall feel like they never truly click. On top of that it just doesnt fit at all with the narrative that i have been building during this analysis.

There is talk about alcoholism and parent abandoment, this time by the father, a figure that was never mentioned during the album. The last line says “say it aint so” which doesnt particularly seem to reflect on any of the themes i’ve been building upon. Ultimately i think i will just leave it besides and be content that i managed to fit almost all of the album into one story, this process was never meant to be a perfect dissection of the carefully planned story that neil deliberately crafted but rather me having fun seeing pictures in a rorshach test.

So anyway that was Mouth dreams, let me know what you thought.

[d2myg]

yoongi b-day post; this will be incredibly sappy, so read at your own discretion: 

the person in the pictures is min yoongi. i took them in the london o2 arena in october 2018, when i went to a bts concert during their love yourself tour. it was unironically the best day of my life, and not just because i got to see the people i love most do what they love most. i got meet up with my friends, spend the day with them, share food, do sight-seeing, do windowshopping together - little acts of love that i now look back at with fondness. at the venue, we talked to many other people, hugged, laughed and cried, sang and screamed together. before that day, i hadn't realised just how one person - or one unit - can bring a sea of people together, people who are strangers to each other, people who are so different from each other, speak different languages, come from different backgrounds. but on that day, we all gathered together because we shared love for a group of 7 boys who make beautiful music and make us all feel a little bit less alone. on that day, even though we didn't understand the lyrics or some of their comments, we felt welcomed, safe and loved there. we could feel how much they love all of us, and how much effort they put into showing it. at the end of the concert, as the ending credits rolled down, they left a little message - a 'special thank you' to all of us, even though we have loads more to thank them for. i've heard a lot of people say that bts saved their lives. that they were in a dark place, but the hopeful messages in the songs, and the incredible friendship that bts all have with each made them feel less lonely. and i feel this way, too. they make people connect, and i've never seen anything like this with any other music artist; the bond that exists between bts and the fans is thrumming with so much affection for both sides. no matter how high they climb, bts stay humble, and make sure to always thank us for their achievements. what sets them apart from other artists for me is genuity and passion for their work, and personalisation of their music, their continuous efforts to be gentle role models for the youth.

i felt drawn to min yoongi ever since i first watched one of their music videos, back in 2015/16. i've never encountered anyone like him, and learning more things about him over the years of being a fan has been a great pleasure. i've realised that our personalities and habits are a lot alike, and it's painful when people don't see past his stage persona and think he's cold, lazy, and uncaring. he has the kindest soul, and he loves in quiet and subtle ways. he cares so much, and he always puts other people before him. his passion and love for music is unmatched, and it's really inspiring to see that he chose to pursue his dream despite his parents' disapproval or growing up poor. his creative process is very unique, and he has so much knowledge about the thing he's good at, yet he always strives to improve and is self-critical. the music he creates from scratch is stunning. that's actually not the right word - i don't know how to even begin to describe it. min yoongi is good at telling stories through his music;  stories that make you sit and listen, that make you want to listen to them again, want to know how they continue. the method of delivery of these stories is through rapping. i used to not like rap at all. but by listening to min yoongi's rapping, i understood the purpose of it, and learnt what good rap is - to tell stories. min yoongi's lyrics are poems with incredibly clever wordplay, use of metaphors and anecdotes, rhetorical questions, and they ellicit emotions by simply reading them. i never knew music could be like this. even though there is a language barrier and all i have access to are lyric translations, listening to min yoongi's music doesn't require knowledge of korean at all. you understand the message through the changes in flow and speed of the words, through sharp breaths, through the rawness or quietness of his voice. you understand especially when min yoongi is telling you his stories. his stories and their delivery are heart-wrenching, shocking, eye-opening. they speak, sincerely and openly, unafraid of judgement, about his tough childhood, difficulties during debut and the first few years of being part of the group, about his mental health, his feelings, thoughts. they speak about his immense love for music, but also about his worries and anxieties as a global celebrity. they made me realise that for his dream, min yoongi has had to sacrifice a lot. he had to sacrifice living an ordinary life, which is sometimes all he wishes.

loving min yoongi can be bittersweet sometimes, when i listen to his stories, again and again and again, until i've memorised the pronunciation of every foreign word. they often make me sad and hollow, make me cry, because i think that such a lovely and selfless person doesn't deserve the things that he's had to cope with. but loving min yoongi is also good - he makes me feel so inspired, to get off my ass and work on what i'm good at and what i enjoy. it makes me want to be academically successful, even though he's very critical of the education system. his lyrics are enlightening, and i admire his ways of critiquing society and institutions even though he's part of a very strict industry. the way he thinks and shapes his thoughts into words in interviews is incredible and inspirational. his music makes me feel less alone, just as it does to millions of people around the world. i think i couldn't have picked a better role model, a better idol, a better mentor, and it was far from a conscious decision. he's just very endearing and easy to feel drawn to.

i hope he knows just how much everyone is proud of him and all that he's achieved. i love how he remains down to earth and humble, shy about his work, despite having been nominated for a grammy recently, and despite all the other highly prestigious awards of record-breaking album sales he greatly contributed to. i hope his smile never dims, because it's genuinely healing and valuable. i hope he never gets tired of making music, whether that be for the public or privately, for bts or for himself. i hope he stays healthy and recovers well from his shoulder surgery. i hope he takes good care of himself, physically and mentally. i hope he knows that out of all of his stage personas and alter-egos, 28-year old min yoongi (30-year old min yoongi in korean age, which remains confusing to me) is the one that is most important.  i hope we get to meet again, even though i will just be a dot in the crowd, and he will be showing us all the music he wasn't able to show us in person last year. happy birthday, yoongi. you don't know me, but i look up to you and i love you, a lot.

[skamamoroma]

“I Told Sunset About You” - Review/Recap/Whole Bunch of Nonsense Rambling about my Love!

Every now and then a show comes along that I get absolutely knocked off my feet by and I can’t stop thinking about it until I write a whole bunch of nonsense because it’s THAT GOOD and this damn show. I’ve thought about it all week. Outside of the SCU and other longer running stuff, the last time a show sidetracked me like this was San Junipero and I dreamed about that episode for weeks! This show got to me so much that I knew I had to write that whole bunch of nonsense for real and I decided to write a bit of a review and then some specific posts about some of the themes, metaphors, ideas and shots etc that I adore. So if this is not your thing, I tag religiously!

So if you haven’t seen it, the show is about two young boys, Teh and Oh-aew, living in Phuket in Thailand about to take their entry exams/go through the Uni acceptance process. They were childhood best friends until they had an argument which caused them to stop speaking to one another for many years until they meet again at a Chinese class. The story is about friendship, identity, love, rivalry, family, authenticity, ambition and growing up. It’s sweet, funny, painful, warm, difficult, romantic, hopeful, honest and insightful. I hope you don’t fall asleep reading... !

My friend in Japan recommended this show to me. I watch a lot of movies/tv from different parts of the world but rarely from this part of the world not because I don’t want to - I DO! - I just don’t know what’s good and I tend to rely on recommendations from friends or coming across things by chance. If you’ve followed me for even a while, you know my JAM is character driven, nuanced, beautiful shows that go heavy on authentic emotion but use cinematography/music/sound/colour and other creative tricks to further the story. Nothing makes me go starry eyed more than a show SHOWING without a single moment of TELLING where it isn’t necessary and this show hit every single one of those things and more to the point that I was completely swooning at how much of a masterpiece it is. I swear some tiny moments in this show have me floored with how effective and meaningful they are. ARGH. 

As icing on the cake, it’s beautifully LGBT+ themed (written in part and, I believe, directed by LGBT+ folks - if I’ve got that wrong from translations, let me know). These themes are created with care and love, felt refreshing with characters I don’t feel I’ve really seen before. I know that there is info to suggest that they wanted to create this show much more FOR LGBT+ folks and to differentiate it from a style of show that is perhaps more popular for a mainstream audience or a certain audience that wants a certain thing from some Thai dramas (I’m personally not into BL - I think that’s what the genre is called as I kinda don’t know how to feel about that stuff being hella tropey and made for a specifically straight female audience)… and you can tell. They apparently didn’t promote this as that genre. Some of the other themes were so interesting and explored so beautifully. The idea of rivalry and competition was handled with so much insight and depth that it really did stun me at time’s how skilled the writing is. 

The acting… oh the acting. I know Billkin and PP have apparently been close friends for many years but even that sometimes doesn’t guarantee to equal this level of chemistry. They are stunning actors, genuinely nuanced, so charismatic and loveable. I love that even the sad anguished moments are messy as hell (and a couple so delightfully dramatic), the gentle sweeping romantic moments are swoon worthy and allowed to linger or exist in silence, the tension they create is often feels a little too intrusive to watch and the nuance - so much is said without saying anything at all. Some specific moments are handled with so much care when dealing with really complex emotion and I’m floored to see such young actors achieve some of the moments they do because some of the emotion is genuinely complex. There’s a lot of Teh who is terribly complex and to achieve that balance between difficult to work out and yet still feeling like you understand him is a very tricky thing and yet, that’s what I felt when I watched his character. I am in awe of their abilities to be honest and just found them completely mesmerising from start to finish. I love that a lot of their character traits are established so strongly through acting choices that by the end, when both have come kinda full circle and have learned from the other, you can see the OTHER in the OTHER, if that makes sense! Teh in the final few scenes takes on some of Oh’s characteristics. It’s so noticeable but never oversold. Perfect.I can’t overstate this enough! Some moments left me breathless for so many reasons. 

My mum lived in Thailand for a while and in Phuket where the show is set and I loved seeing stuff I recognised from a few of her photographs. I felt I learned a lot about Thai culture too, stuff my mum would have learned and I adored the world surrounding these characters! Btw, if I get anything incorrect re: the culture - come shout at me! :)

The music. Knowing that the soundtrack was written for the show and sung mostly by the two leads was such a surprise because they are beautiful songs. The score is, and I cannot emphasise this enough, bloody gorgeous. There are parts where they play the most gentle soft piano music that kinda breaks my heart and others when they perfectly place the most uplifting soaring sounds that enhance some simple scenes so much that they felt so impactful. There’s a song on the score called Skyline Minimal which is used in a specific scene and in the documentary the director talks about how just the sound of it, you don’t need the lyrics, it just makes you miss someone and makes you cry and he’s absolutely spot on so that when you hear it, what happens on screen just shatters your heart. The soundtrack is woven into the storyline so deeply that the lyrics are used, the melody is used to trigger Oh-aew’s memories at one point and the pretend source of the main song, Skyline, is directly linked to not only the idea of learning Chinese and what that means for them both as characters and as a pair but two of the main themes of the season, ambition and identity! 

The cinematography. Christ on a bike. I could write essays. I am a sucker for meaningful camera work, stuff that does half of the storytelling for you and I cannot praise this more highly other than to say it’s close to perfect. Some moments are so absolutely mesmerising and meaningful that a simple movement or a simple peek at something means a LOT. I’m going to have to write a whole damn post on some of my favourite moments because I can count on one hand the shows/movies of late that I’ve seen that achieve what this show does with camera work, directorial choices and general approach to non-verbal story telling. The level of thought and detail and using a camera in a creative and loving way... I found it so moving and so beautiful the way you could feel the level of consideration that went into the smallest moments, how entire moments of character development were done silently…

The use of metaphor. Anyone who knows me knows I am absolutely WEAK for this stuff. If a good complex emotion or concept can be developed in a way other than with words then I am yours… I will read into everything, enjoy every clever reference and revel in the use of colour or light or sound or motif. This show was a gift in that sense. I’m going to end up writing posts about stuff like the use of colour and the hibiscus flower and coconuts and the use of Chinese words. Again, some moments were so genuinely beautifully done and unexpected that I was like a kid in a sweetshop and was a little swoony over them. There are some moments when the Chinese phrases/words are used through their tutoring in a way to sum up the character’s feelings, moments are built up to by establishing motifs that, when used to their conclusion make for the most BEAUTIFUL or gut wrenching moments. The hibiscus flower scene/colouring in may  be one of my most favourite scenes in the whole show and I just smile thinking of how wonderfully it was developed.

Another thing I truly adored was how I genuinely loved every single character. There’s no demonisation, no discarding of characters at the expense of others (especially as I hate when women in movies are treated this way when there’s no reason to), no characters who are used as scapegoats. If anything, you come out adoring the characters who traditionally “get in the way” of a pairing because, well, they don’t. They don’t feel in the way or an annoyance. They feel genuine and lovely and you root for them. That’s a really really kind way to treat your characters but, above anything, it’s just lovely to see that much consideration given to characters to treat them all as humans. I get a little sick of seeing ‘bad guys’, you know? I like flawed, messy but human people. Hoon as a big brother is so understated but when he appears and when it matters, some of his moments are so genuinely emotional it’s amazing how they allow him to be a typical brother, kinda dismissive and teasing his younger sibling but then he’s THERE and really fully there for his brother in some truly significant moments. It felt so earned for me and goodness, one moment kills me when Teh is full on in the middle of a family fight, sobbing and confused and in a room of them all, Hoon goes directly to his brother and the simple way it happens had me in bits. Apparently, that was an improvised scene too so it makes it a little special.

The ending. Any LGBT+ soul out there knows the pain of watching another miserable ending and, don’t get me wrong, I’m ALL FOR endings where you don’t necessarily get what you WANT but only ones that make sense and are earned so they make you think or realise you don’t NEED what you want etc. BUT also want happiness and hope and love and watching LGBT+ characters thrive. Not to spoil, but they treat these two very well by the end… you just have to make your way through a box of tissues first!

So yeah, it was alright. Hahahaha. I genuinely think it’s a masterpiece. I feel the love and care that went into it, the time taken to consider and think and find ways to say a LOT by saying very LITTLE. I feel the commitment to LGBT+ media, little nods to other shows/moments… I feel their wish to be original and to try to make new characters feel fresh and unseen. I just adored it and I’m so grateful it exists because as a piece of art, when you finish it and can write legit essays (and I’ve seen posts other people have written and I’m in NO WAY the only one here) then you know you’ve done something kinda special! So that’s me, getting my whole bunch of nonsense down… and now I can make specific posts and ramble a whole bunch more! Mwahaha.