#it shouldnt be seen as rude to say no to someone kissing you to say hi or bringing up that you dont like something

[savages-weapons]

hc

there was backlash from homeschooling "parents rights" advocates in my area before because of a daycare teaching kids about consent...all they learned is that you don't have to accept unwanted physical intimacy. one scenario that happened is a parent told her toddler boy to kiss a toddler girl in class. toddler boy comes back and says that toddler girl didn't want a kiss. it turns out the kids were taught that you don't touch someone if they say "no". parents thought this was ridiculous. I felt crazy hearing them talk about it, why in the world would you be upset by kids respecting each others boundaries, and why are you asking your toddlers to kiss each other in the first place as if they're toys and not human beings?

[fictionalsimpybish]

|Precious Darling|

Loki x Reader

Warnings: rude comments

Little A/N your beautiful don't let anyone tell you otherwise

You we're sobbing trying to silence yourself so no one would hear, having your hand covering you mouth, you squeezed your eyes shut, the stinging sensation burned your eyes, you couldn't get what those girls had said, their words keep getting louder and louder, you buried your head in your hands, trying to slow your breathing down

Deep breath, what they said isn't true... Is it..?

You shook your head No! Loki wouldnt want you thinking so low about yourself

But.. you just couldn't help it, what those girls said, those rude and cruel words they just stood there

A soft knock could be heard but you where to focused on the thoughts in your head

Ugly, worthless

She doesn't deserve him, he's too good for her, he shouldnt be with her, shell bring him down, why would he chose her?, She's so boring and plain

The door cracked open and Loki looked inside, upon seeing you in the corner of the room with your hands on your face shaking, his eyes widened, he quickly came inside and quietly shut the door, he quickly stepped to you and kneeled down softly he put his hand on your shoulder, you flinched from the sudden contact and your eyes went wide, seeing Loki with a concern look

"Darling?, What happened?" He asked softly and kindly, but he was furious who made his darling cry!?

You shook your head and turned in embarrassment and humiliation he shouldnt have seen you like this

Loki gently cupped your wet cheek and faced you to him

"Dear please, let me help, I cannot help if I don't don't want caused you pain" he pleaded, Loki shifted closer and held you tightly, you clinged to him, he rested your head on his shoulder, he could feel your tears soaking his shirt but he didn't care

After a few moments of silence you too a deep breath, you knew you had to tell Loki, he wouldn't let this go, you debated on telling a lie, but you knew to well he would see right through you

You lifted your head of his shoulder but kept your eyes on your lap, Loki lifted your chin, so you could gaze into his icy blue orbs, he waited patiently even though he really wanted to kill whoever did this make them suffer

You sniffed and wiped your tears "it's stupid.." you whispered voice almost gone from sobbing

Loki furrowed his brows and shook his eye "no dear, it's not, tell me whatever happened" he kissed your forehead and looked back into you e/c orbs

You sigh, and start to explain what those girls had said "i-i was walking to the library, to return the books I had, and to also get new ones, um" you shifted uncomfortably not sure how to even begin to explain what they said, you knew Loki would be upset

You too another deep breath and began again "and t-their where theses girl who where looking for some books and shoved past me o-on purpose" you looked at Loki already seeing the frown on his face "they turned to me, and started to say some.. rude things to me"

"What did they say?" Loki asked, he clenched his jaw

you didn't want to explain further, but Loki needed to know

You gulped "they said.. I was ugly, w-worthless" you couldn't look at Loki, you felt ashamed, ashamed that it felt true

Loki bit the inside of his lip, waiting patiently for you to continue

"T-they also said I was plain a-and boring, that you shouldn't be with me, i-i'd bring you down" you could feel the tears coming back but you held them down and you looked to Loki "i-i feel like i-its true Loki.. I don't want to feel like this, b-but why are you with me?" Your lips started to tremble "y-you can find someone p-pretty, but you got me the plain, ugly-" before you could finish your sentence it was cut of by Loki kissing you passionately, he softly shushed you and whispered sweet things into your ear

He pulled make and looked at you in the eyes, his eyes glassy and a tear slipped out "my darling, why would you believe such filth, I truly love you with all of my dark heart, you are not plain and definitely, absolutely NOT ugly, you are the light to my dark heart, the only hope I have to continue living this life, you are absolutely stunning, gorgeous and divine, no other can compare to you in my eyes, you truly are the most perfect partner I can have in all of the nine realms, and that is a promise" he kissed you again a much longer passionate kiss the only time parting is when you both need air, but Loki continued to kiss you even giving little pecks to you face

"Do you understand?" He asked after awhile of silence

You nodded and Loki smiled kissing you again and holding you hands to his chest

"Now.. your going to show me who these girls where and I'm going to make them suffer for what they have done to you, my precious darling"

And you did what he asked, if you didn't he probably would of went through your mind and found out himself, your not sure what he did to them, but after this day you never saw them again

[akiitos]

gimme all the boys getting jelaous >:3 (you csn skip rui and/or toya if u wanna) (i'll gladly read about kaito and len too but i'm not sure if u write for them) oh and with female reader if thats ok

sry, i don't write for kaito or len:(!!

thanks for requesting <3, p.s i hit writers block midway this

prsk boys x fem!reader, jealousy

toya aoyagi ☆

• he's nice and i dont think he'd get that jealous, since he trusts you

• but, if on some rare occasion he would just stand there beside you and pull you away oncd you're done

• if he can, he'd take you to a different area and act a tad bit more clingy

• toya ♡♡♡♡♡♡

• ok but he'd also just subtly hold your hand too with furrowed brows in hopes that the other person gets the hint

you're talking with a friend you haven't seen in a while in the hallways of kamiyama high. beside you, is your boyfriend, toya. he felt kind of awkward, i mean, considering that you both are talking about memories you both had in middle school, in which, he wasn't in. he didn't want to admit this out loud, but he was a teeny bit jealous. well, that you've been talking to your friend for about 30 minutes, and haven't bat an eye at him.

awkwardly pulling your arm slightly, he looks at you with an uncomfortable expression. excusing yourself, he takes you to an empty classroom. "what's wrong?" you ask with a worried tune. he just stays silent and looks to the side. he didn't really know how to word this feeling exactly. humming awkwardly, you sit on a desk beside him as you hold his hand. he apologizes for having you leave your friend, and places a gentle hand on your chin, making you face him. moving closer to your face, he asks, "may i?" with light pink on his cheeks. you nod reassuringly and close the gap in between your guys' lips.

rui kamishiro ♡

• he doesn't wanna seem rude or anything

• kindly makes up an excuse saying that he has to go

• you say bye aswell and go after him

• he probably ends up saying how he was jealous in some cheesy way

• rui is just omg

talking with your friend on the rooftop, alongside with rui, you're asking them questions. rui, not wanting to be a third wheel, kindly excuses himseld out. not wanting to leave him alone, you also say your goodbyes and follow rui to the second floor. silently, you both walk in motion as he takes you both in a more private area, under the staircases.

opening his mouth, but he closes it, not knowing really what to say. "sorry, y/n. i guess you could say, i didn't want to feel out of place between you both." he said with his iconic cheshire grin. frowning, you reassure him with a proud smile afterwards. "rui! i'm sorry!" he chuckles and kisses your cheek sweetly, the scent of soda candy on his body. chuckling at him, you kiss his cheek and grab his arm, bringing him to the library, a quiet spot for you both to stay at until class started for you both.

tsukasa tenma ☆

• straight out takes you away but yknow respectfully

• rambles about how a star like him shouldnt be neglected!

• yep as you can tell he was jealousssa

• give him some kisses and maybe, just maybe, he'll forgive you for making such a star like him feel this way

• hes so

you were talking to someone, who obviously had a crush on you. and of course, tsukasa knew about this, so he kept an eye on you while close behind. he noticed how your suitor was getting close to you subtly, and he wanted to take action, but kindly. going up to you, he grabs your arm with a grip, and quite literally drags you away from the conversation.

confused, you ask him what the matter was. he pouts and rants, "don't neglect such a star like me, that guy totally had a crush on you!" with a cheeky smile, you ask, "is this star, perhaps jealous?" with a teasing tone. he blushes and denies, "what?! no!" he huffs and turns away from you. sighing, you grab his red face, and land a few kisses on his lips. letting go, he looks at you with wide eyes and grunts. "whatever, let's just go, alright!?" he shouts while walking ahead. chuckling, you follow him from the halls.

akito shinonome ♡

• visibly annoyed

• nonchalantly says that you both have to go

• takes you away to the roof and just acts as if that didn't happen

• embarrassed when you bring it up and just denies everything

• sorta like tsukasa except more aggresive

you're talking to someone, who also has a crush on you. how did you not even realize this? they smile at you, and chuckle lightly. akito, who's right beside you now, grabs your shoulder and nonchalantly says "sorry, me and y/n have to go now. see you" and takes you away to the rooftop. you look back and see them frown and you just both walk there in silence until you got there.

why did akito do that? then, something sparked in your head. he was jealous, wasn't he? smirking, you ask, "jealous?" in which he blushes and shakes his head. "what the hell!? no!" he argues playfully while turning away from you. "yeahyeah, sure" you teased as he looked at you. "i just told you! i'm not-" then, you cut him off with a cheeky kiss on the cheek. how is this even possible, his cheeks are redder than they were before! covering his face, he huffs. "whatever,," he mutters while uncovering his pink face.

[spinster-sisters]

Asshole. CS

TW: Dom! san, Sub! reader, Pillow humping, stepping, generally very derogatory and lowkey rude, possessiveness. Im gonna put this here cuz i dont know where else to but this is not an example of a healthy relationship, no it is toxic or abusive, it is implied that they are just two very different people who shouldnt be together.

Your relationship with San wasn't a good one. From the moment you two got together you have been arguing about every little thing, and while the good moments were absolutely perfect the bad was far worse. Many of your friends were surprised you were still together. But despite all the fighting and miscommunications, San was still the only man you could look at, and that was infuriating.

Honestly, the two of you had tried to break up multiple times, but each period wouldn't last more than a week, because nobody else knew you like the other. So inevitably you would find your way back to each other.

Tonight was one of the bad nights. Your mutual friend Yunho was throwing a huge party at his apartment. The trouble had started before you even arrived. The plan was to get ready at San's place at ride over together, but at the last moment, you had decided to get ready at your own home, simply because San always rushed you. You figured that this way he could leave whenever he was ready and so could you. However, San did not see it that way.

You had just stood up from your vanity, having just finished applying your makeup, but a text alert brought you back down to sit.

"Your impossible" was all it said. This made you scoff. It was from your boyfriend. San had always told you that you were too indecisive and flaky, that he never knew what you wanted and it made it impossible to please you. It was probably true, but he was not without faults himself so you still found it annoying.

You chose to leave him on read before making your way over to the party. You were still simmering with annoyance over his attitude while you drove. Eventually, you landed at Yunho's building. You don't know exactly how your friend was able to afford the place as it was pretty big for only him and his roommate, but it certainly allowed for fun gatherings.

You were buzzed up and not too long after you were at Yuhno's door. Only seconds after knocking, you could hear the music and talk from outside, the door swung open to reveal the tall man.

"Hey!" Yunho cried, pulling you in by your arm. Yunho rarely drank more than one or two beers at his party so he could keep everyone in line, so it wasn't a surprise when you found him still completely sober.

"I almost thought you weren't going to make it!" The tall man spoke swinging and arm over your shoulder for a side hug. You smiled into it.

"Yeah sorry, I was running a bit behind," was all you said.

"When San showed up without you I thought you had canceled," your friend spoke while pulling away from the hug.

"Yeah, well plans change" you replied. You had thought you hid the contempt well enough but Yunho knew you too well. He gave you a questioning look but you changed the subject.

"Where is he anyway? You asked. Yunho only pointed into the living room. Your mood only darkened. There were tons of people but you could still see your boyfriend clear as day sitting on the couch with at least three girls hanging off of him. This was one of your problems with San. No, he had never cheated on you, if they tried to kiss him he would push them away, if they made a suggestive comment he would brush them off, but of they flirted with him? He ate that shit up. He said that it shouldn't matter because at the end of the day your the one who gets to fuck him, but the fact he would just sit there and let them feed his ego was pissy as all hell.

You frowned deeply, not even trying to hide this one, and turned the opposite direction into the kitchen for a drink. You could feel the judgment coming of Yunho in waves, but he said nothing. When you reached the kitchen you found the first bottle of whatever and poured yourself a tall glass of whatever. You weren't about to let your boyfriend ruin your night, even after he ruined your mood. So you opted to ignore him all night.

It had been a while. After you finished your drink and allowed it to take effect you moved back into the pandemonium that was the living room. Here was the source of the music and the majority of the talking. You danced lazily to the music, not paying any attention to anyone just allowing yourself to unwind. The pounding base felt nice in your head and along with the buzz of the alcohol you were more than content.

Soon an arm slipped around your shoulders again. This time it was Mingi. Yunho's roommate. You weren't as close to him as Yunho but you could easily call him a friend.

"What's up?" You called over the music, stepping out of the dancing bodies to talk.

"Just coming to say hi, where's san?" He asked taking a little look around.

"Don't know don't care" you replied leaning against the wall. Mingi laughed a little.

"You two at it again?" He questioned with a quirk of the brow. You returned the laugh.

"Call it whatever you want, I don't want to talk to him tonight," Mingi sighed with a smile.

"You two are impossible," Mingi walked away after finishing his comment but his choice of words soured your mood again. You dared to look around for San. Once you found him it made it worse.

It seems like two of the girls had lost hope because the last one remaining was laying it on thick. She was sitting so close their legs were pressed together and her hand was dragging up and down his arm.

You scoffed and turned away before a thought hit you. If he was able to entertain other people then why can't you? With that idea in mind, you set out to find a cute boy to mess with.

It wasn't hard, within minutes of putting yourself out there a guy who clearly wasn't close enough with anyone here to know your situation had approached you in the hallway on your way to fill up your drink.

You both stood in the hallway against the wall for a bit, he was hopelessly eager so flirting with him was a breeze. Slowly you made your way into the living room once again and made yourself comfy with the new boy. No, you weren't as obvious as the girl hanging off your boyfriend, you were too good for that, but it was clearly enough to have him hanging on your every word. At some point, you glanced up and made eye contact with Yunho who only threw you a curious look but you only winked at went back to your nameless boy.

You spoke for a bit longer, playing into him as much as possible as he showered you with compliments. You were happily basking in the praise when a sudden presence made itself know in front of you. You turned, and low and behold, it was San.

His perfect features were screwed into a glare fixated on both you and the boy. You almost let your giggle show when you look behind his perfectly shaped body to see the girl he had been entertaining looking lost and confused exactly where he left her on the couch.

Your satisfied smirk must have shown on your face however because soon your boyfriend's cold fingers wrapped around your chin hold your chin up to face him. He crouched down so you two were eye level.

"You think this is funny?" He asked in a dangerous tone. He only used this voice when he meant business but tonight you were standing your ground.

"Very funny," you replied, managing to hold your smirk even with his hand clamped on your cheeks.

"What the fuck man? Let her go," the boy finial voiced only after recovering from the shock of the scene before him. He reached out to pull Sans hand away before you stopped him.

"You can leave now," you said, not looking away from San. (not like you could) but still very clearly talking to the boy. You could hear the confusion in the silence. Before he spoke again.

"Wait what?" He asked stupidly.

"You can go, I'm done with you for now," you spoke.

"Wait this is crazy what are you-"

This time San in all his severe and intimidating glory turned to the boy and cut him off.

"Hey dick head, I think my girlfriend told you to leave us alone." He spoke with an edge. Having finally got the message the boy got up and left. And San's piercing gaze returned to you again, his hand finally dropping to let his forearm resting on his knee.

"So I'm your girlfriend now?" You asked with contempt. Crossing your arms, and swinging one leg over the other.

"Oh shut up" San replied scoffing.

"I'm just wondering if you told those girls that, that you have a girlfriend. Or maybe it's that you did but they just didn't care because clearly, you enjoyed all the attention they were giving you" the words rattled out of you in quick succession.

"Clearly you're broken up about it. Throwing yourself at any guy who will give you the time of day," he spits back, "if I remember correctly you were the one who didn't want to come together as a couple," he reminded in a scathing tone.

"Only because you are a controlling asshole," you spat back equally as resentful.

"And you're a paranoid drama queen I guess we all have our problems." He shot back. Eyes narrowing even more.

"Well maybe if you have such a problem with it I should go find that guy and fuck him. If I am so annoying then how about I go be someone else's problem!" you almost screamed at him beath heaving slightly when you finished. San stared at you unreadable for a moment.

He stood abruptly, taking you roughly by the arm and pulling you to your feet. He wordlessly dragged you through the crowd.

"San what the fuck let go!" You tried to pull free but failed. Moments later san had dragged you into Yunho's room and slammed it shut before locking it. Your boyfriend turned to you with eyes darker than you had ever seen.

"Never fucking say that again." He spoke dangerously calm. He took two quick steps twords you before slamming his lips onto yours. You reacted quickly, returning the kiss with as much anger as you could. Yeah, you wanted him to fuck you, but you weren't about to let him forget how pissed off you were.

In moments your dress had been pulled over your head and you were pushed onto the bed and Sans body trapped you there. He reconnected your lips. Your kiss was anything but sweet, your teeth were clacking and your lips were swollen. San pulled back once or twice to bite at your bottom lip and pull before it snapped back into place. His hand wound its way into the roots of your hair and yanked.

With your head now pulled away and a dull ache radiated out from your head you groaned and rolled your hips into his feeling him harden through your underwear.

"Your such a needy slut." he spoke with venom while nipping and sucking at your neck, determined to leave as many visible marks as possible.

"Like you aren't?" You scoffed running your nails down his forearms, leaving your own mark on him.

"Shut the fuck up. Do I need to remind you whos in charge here?" He punctuated this with a particularly hard bite on your shoulder. You winced.

"No, I can tell there's no need. I just need to remind you whos slut you are don't I?" He asked in a patronizing tone. "Because your all mine baby, and I am not going to let you forget it."

In a moment he flipped your bodies over and pushed you off him to stand on your own feet in front of where he sat on the bed. You stumbled a little in the process and had to brace yourself on his shoulders. He looked at you unimpressed.

Your arms crossed and your brow furrowed.

"Strip" he commanded easily. You were only in your bra and panties but clearly this was too much for his fully clothed self. You glared.

"You first," you said indignantly. After a beat and a long stare San's hand shot out and clenched your ass hard. You couldn't help the yelp that escaped you.

"Unless you want me to spank you so hard your ass turns purple you should start undressing." He let go of you.

You knew he would keep to that promise so you slowly began to unhook your bra.

"Don't keep me waiting" he spoke in a warning.

You pulled the garment off your shoulders and slid your panties down.

"Finally you learned how to behave" he spoke with indignation. You humpfted unhappily.

"Does my slut, want me to touch her?"

"I think that much is clear," you mumbled.

"Speak up," he demanded.

"Yes!" You groaned. He glared at you for a moment.

"I don't think you deserve it," he replied. Instead, he reached behind himself and grabbed one of Yunho's pillows, and tossed it at your feet.

"You want to get off? Use that." Your stomach filled with dread.

"There is no way I'm doing that," you said, trying to convince yourself as much as him.

"Then I guess your not cumming tonight" he spoke flatly, staring you down. You stared at him in disbelief.

"Go on," he insisted. You felt your resolve slip as the ache in your core grew. Slowly but surely you knelt down and straddled the pillow. In the moments you sat down you were already dreading this. It was far too soft and smooth to gain any kind of fiction without some serious work. You already felt humiliated without having done anything yet.

"Look at me," San directed from the bed. Your pink face turned to look at him. He looked damn good as always, practically glowing in the bedroom haze. You couldn't help but clench the plush between your thighs. One more expectant look from San made you move.

After the first drag of your pussy against the pillow you almost cried at the lack of sensation. It was unfair how little feeling you got from it. But in San's eyes, you could see that that was exactly what he was looking for, the desperation.

You began moving your hips again. You were rutting your pussy against the pillow as fast as you could chasing the tiny bit of relief that came each time. You were already panting from all the work, grunting each time your clit dragged against the too soft fabric.

Slowly the pleasure was starting to build and you could feel the wetness pouring out of you dampening the cushion bellow you. Now that it was wet the material was a bit rougher so you got a little more of the friction you desired. Your eyes meet your boyfriend's dark gaze.

"Not so big now are you? Humping a pillow just because I told you to. Acting like my good little slut. Whose slut are you?" The filth spewed out of Sans mouth leaving you breathless, you were hesitant to admit defeat so you stayed silent. After a beat, Sans boot lifted from where it was planted on the carpet and dug into your thigh dangerously close to your sopping pussy. You whined as he stilled your movements. He pushed you down by your thigh keeping you immobilized on the pillow.

"I said, who's slut are you?" He asked in the sickest sweetest voice, leaning down slightly forcing the eye contact you wanted to break. When his boot dug even harder into you, stinging in the process you finally felt your resolve crumble.

"I'm your slut," you said barely above a whisper.

"Didn't quite catch that babe," he encouraged.

"I'm your slut," the words came out much more forceful this time to the point you almost shouted it. As soon as they were out of your mouth you burned in shame, looking away from the growing smirk on his face.

"All mine," the words slipped out almost absentmindedly. He reached out at cupped your burning cheeks and titled your head up.

"Come here baby,"

You obeyed him eagerly. Your hips ached a bit from the exertion but you stood perfectly still and waiting in front of him. San eyed your body up and down, reaching out to feel up every inch of you. He took special care to play with your thighs, messaging them in his strong hands for a moment. You keened happily in his touch, letting him play with you however he wanted. It helped some to ease the burn but that wasn't his goal. His hand slipped between your legs and slid between your folds.

You realized a shaky moan in response, almost jumping away as you were still so sensitive. But you stayed put.

"My little slut is being so good, letting me toy with her pussy like this." He cooed at you, fueling your blushing face. His finger ran up and down your most sensitive area sometimes stopping to pinch your clit or cup your heat entirely, but never slip inside. That he was avoiding. You felt so empty knowing he was right there, so close to filling you up but still not doing it.

You whined wantonly.

"What's wrong sweetheart," he smirks at you.

"San, please fill me up?" You begged.

"My baby wants to get fucked like a slut?" He asks, one finger prodding your hole but still not entering. You cried out in desperation.

"Yes! Yes please!"

"OK baby," he finally replied in a soothing tone, but the retracting hand made you quiver, you were so needy but you had yet to be given any kind of release and it was killing you.

"Hands and knees, baby"

You scrabbled onto the bed to do as you were told, presenting your ass to him as well as you could with a slight arch to your back. You could hear his low chuckle behind you. You felt him stand up momentarily and heard the familiar sound of a belt buckle to show he was finally undressing. You wanted to look at him so bad but you didn't want to take even the slightest risk right now.

Finally, he climbed onto the bed behind you, cupping your ass tenderly in both hands with a small squeeze.

"So pretty, and it's all mine" you heard him speak. You mumbled in agreement with a nod. You breathed heavily in anticipation, waiting to finally feel something.

In one unexpected movement, San sheathed his cock into you. Your cries were so loud you were sure they could be heard over the pending music in the next room, but you didn't care. It felt so nice to be full.

San was never one for preamble so it only took a moment for him to start to pound his cock into you at an inhuman pace. The sound of the music was now being completely drowned out by the cries from you, the grunts from San, the slapping skin, and the obscene wet sound coming from your pussy.

San knew his way around your body so well, it only took a moment for him to find that special spot inside you that had you spiraling, your front half collapsed onto the bed, muffling the sounds coming out of you. It only lasted a second though before a rough grip took hold on the back of your head. San yanked you up by your hair keeping your mouth free to spew filth.

The pain in your scalp returned as your boyfriend leaned down to whisper in your ear through his own panting breath, still nailing into your hole.

"Don't you dare, keep your head up and let them hear just how much of a slut you are for me." He spoke deadly serious. Your reply was a loud cry of his name that echoed around the room.

His focus returned to fucking you to tears, which is about where you were as you felt the first pricks of wetness in the corners of your eyes.

San was speaking again,

"Whos are you baby? Tell me who is it that's fucking you this good?" He practically shouted the words at you, his cock was sliding deliciously in and out so quickly that before you could even register his pull out he was slamming back in dragging your walls as he went pulling even more wetness out with each thrust. Your eyes were rolling back but you answered somewhat absently.

"Yours San, all yours" after the words left your mouth the first time you couldn't seem to stop, constantly spewing the word "yours" over and over again. San began repeating his reply as well with a little more force,

"All mine."

San removed his hand from your hair but you kept your head up however difficult it was when he was fucking you like that. Instead, both of your boyfriend's hands took hold of your waist, and with this newfound grip, he was pulling you back to meet his thrusts. Each push now had even more force behind it and you could feel your release fast approaching.

"San-" you tried to speak but lost the words in your mouth.

"I know baby, my little cockslut is going to cum all over me isn't she?" You cried out your affirmation when your words failed you.

"Go ahead sweetheart, cum while a fill your pussy up even more."

You finally came and came hard. It was by the will of God you kept yourself upright as your orgasm washed over you, especially with San still keeping pace although it began faltering as his orgasm crashed around him. You felt the sticky cum shoot into you in ropes coating your inner walls, making your orgasm even more fulfilling.

After a moment San stops moving. You could feel him begin to soften inside you but you were still clenching hopelessly against him. Your arms finally gave way and you came crashing down. San kneeled above you catching his breath before falling onto the bed beside you. He dared to pull you close to observe your face.

A sudden smirk arose on his perfect features.

"I won,"

"You asswipe."

[savoies]

Things Changed - Pierre Luc Dubois.

Summary: Neighbors to lovers.

Word count: hopefully 1.6k

Warnings: hints of angst, a few bad words, mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol

A/N: Since I have a cute new neighbor I thought why not use the neighbors to lovers trope to live out all my fantasies. I had a lot of fun writing this with the help of a few close people so enjoy! (not proofread)

taglist: @hartsyhart​ ​ @nhlpetey​ @mitch-slap​ @frostythegoalman​ @ryanssuzuki​  @aria253264​ ​  @josty​ ​ @kaitieskidmore1​ ​ @kiedhara​ ​ @laurenairay​ ​ @teenagekook​ ​ ​ @alxvlasic​ ​ ​ @hockeyallthetime​ ​ ​ @barzy-baby​ ​ ​ @officialgritty​ ​ @bowenbyram​ ​ @mems06​ ​ ​ @joshsandersons​ ​  @connormcdavo​ @maattamatthews​ ​ @pierreslucdubois​ ​ ​ @selenophileangel​ @boqvistsbabe​ @ana-maa​ @stars-canucks​

tagging some friends: @npatrickz @beauvibaby @heybarzy @tkachuk-yeah @cozycozzy @2manytabsopen​

(*credit to gif owner*)

Y/N had recently moved to Canada seven months ago and honestly it was going just fine. Nothing major had happened other than wanting a change of pace and well she had gotten it. Well at least the most change her dog and her could get.

Today was a nice day so she decided why not head to the dog park that was connected to the apartment complex and just spend all day there. What she did not suspect was running into a cute stranger who happened to be her neighbor from a few doors down. 

Pierre had come to the dog park well to see the dogs. After the trade from Ohio to Winnipeg he decided that it was best to leave his dogs with his mom until he got settled in. He probably thought that most people would find a broading 6′ 3″ man sitting on a bench creepy but honestly he couldn't care less because the smile the dogs provided him as they ran by was worth the stares.

"Brody! Brody come back here." Y/N yelled as her dog ran across the yard in and around anything he could get through. As her dog ran up to a cute stranger sitting on a bench she couldn't mutter enough curse words to process why this was happening now and today. 

"I am so sorry about him, it's just we don't get out much." She replied and mentally shook her head, not understanding why she had to explain herself to a complete stranger.

"Oh it's totally okay, I love dogs. I actually have two but they are back at home. This might seem kind of straight forward but if you ever need a dog sitter I can offer my services." Pierre smiled at the dog and stranger in front of him.

Y/N knew that she shouldnt take up the offer but with work and life and a cute stranger who seemed actually genuine she threw away mostly all her morals and said why the fuck not.

"Really, that would be really helpful. I'm not sure if I should tell you my apartment number now or after I find out you're a murderer." She looked up at him. After assuring her that he was indeed not a murderer and just a normal guy who loved dogs they traded numbers and apartment info. I guess after all the dog park was worth it.

The First Time.

The first time Pierre earned his title of dog sitter was when you went away for a work conference. It had been three days. Honestly you were quite nervous since you had never really left your dog with anyone other than your family but after hanging out with him so often you felt like it was okay.

"Brody say bye to your mom, we are gonna have so much fun without her huh." He said as he led Brody into the living room and waited for you to give any special instructions.

"Pierre thank you so much for doing this. I want him the same way as when I left him." You hugged him as you said your goodbyes and gathered your things to head off to the airport for your departure. 

"Have some faith in me Y/N." He said as he closed the door and watched netflix with the dog cuddling into his side. 

The Second Time.

A family emergency had presented itself and as much as you wanted to take Brody with you you just knew it wasn't the best choice. Pierre had come over a few times to "spend time with Brody." Even though most of the time was spent joking around and talking about each other's week.

You had got the call when Pierre was over. Both of you sprawled out on the cold tiled floor. "Hello?" You answered as someone quickly informed you on what was going on. "Wait what, uhm yeah I'll go back home right now." You said as you hung up and quickly sprang up to your feet to pack.

"Pierre I know you're busy and you can say no but can you watch Brody, a family emergency has come up." You spoke hastily.

"Yeah of course, everything ok?" He asked worried.

"No but hopefully soon." You gave him a soft smile as you said your goodbyes and rushed out your apartment door.

The Third Time.

The third time was different. Not necessarily an emergency but mostly a way to make sure that your dog was okay for a few hours. Or at least not alone and spending it with one of his favorite people aside from you. You had gone out to a club with some coworkers and had dropped off Brody at Pierres earlier in the day. Of course you asked if he was busy and he said he had to catch up on some work so that's the only reason you really asked him to. You knew he had a life aside from your dog sitting escapades. 

Later on in the night as you arrived home with a guest you had asked him to wait by the door as you went to go pick up Brody from a few doors down. It was late and maybe you should have just done it in the morning.  But your mind being hazy with the few drinks from earlier didn't think about Pld being asleep and you knocked before you could stop yourself.

Pierre was slowly drifting off to sleep with thoughts of you in his head. How he had to adapt to this new city which he barely knew anything about but since you had come into his life everything seemed somewhat easier. 

There was a soft knock on his door and as he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes he walked up to the door with Brody close by to his feet and he saw you. "Y/N hey what are you doing here?" He asked confused on why you were here at one in the morning.

"Just here to pick up Brody." You smiled at him as he looked towards your apartment and his smile dropped as he saw the random dude standing in front of your door awkwardly. 

 He knew he shouldn't be making a big deal out of it. You guys weren't anything in the first place. But Pierre couldn't help what he felt towards you.

"You okay?" He asked before letting you head back.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon." You said as you walked away. 

After that things weren't the same. You could sense it. After getting the stranger out your bed you cleaned up and headed over to Pierres for your weekly brunch hang out but he didn't answer. That wasn't what made you realize that it wasn't the same. I mean you knew he had a busy life. Maybe it was the way that every time there was a knock on your door you were hoping it was Pierre hoping to "hang out with Brody" but it never was.

Or maybe it was that he was ignoring you. It had been a week since you had last seen him and as you walked to the elevator you tried to rack your mind with what you could've done to upset him.

As you reached the elevator there stood the boy that you so much wanted to see. Pierre rolled his eyes as you arrived, having deliberately been avoiding you for a full week and bumping into you in the only place he couldn't escape.

Y/N looked up at him hoping that he would talk. Hoping that somehow he would reveal why he was mad or at least why he was ignoring her.

"So it seems like you were just using me as a dog sitter huh.” Pierre broke the silence. He was feeling so many emotions seeing the person that made him feel good about himself. 

"What, Dubois what are you talking about?" Y/N looked up at him confused on why he would even think that. Cause honestly it did start like that but after that it grew into a friendship that she was so thankful for.

 Pierre just scoffed thinking of what he would say next. "The dude you brought back to your apartment."

"What about him?" Y/N asked.

"Look when i offered to be your dog sitter i didn't think it was for bringing guys around." 

"Look Pierre i don't mean this to sound rude at all but when you offered you said it was for whenever i needed a dog sitter and i brought Brody over because I thought you liked spending time with him. And honestly the guy is a one time thing.” Y/N spoke up suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable recalling the events from last night to her not so stranger anymore cute neighbor.

 "I do love dogs, honestly spending time with him was nice but why do you think I always came over to hang out with Brody?" He asked putting air quotes around hanging out. Then it clicked in Y/Ns mind. Him coming over more than two times a week, him ignoring her after her unfortunate night with a stranger, them now spilling their guts to each other in an elevator. He liked her. At least she hoped that she was right and was not about to make a dumb mistake.

"Oh." escaped from her mouth. As the door opened and Pierre smiled at Y/N waiting for somewhat of a reaction other than oh. 

"Pierre I've always been bad at reading signs so I'm really hoping that I'm reading the correct sign right now. Uhm would you like to maybe come over later, you know to hang out with Brody?" You asked as you put air quotes around hanging out with Brody like he had down earlier.

"I thought you'd never ask." He replied before placing a kiss on your cheek leaving you with a small smile on your face.

[brelione]

Intervene (Barry X Reader)

Request:could you write a fic where Rafe is hitting on you at a party, but doesn't realize your Barry's girl? Rafe does something gross/awful and you take offense. Barry just stands back and watches you handle the situation, only stepping in before you go too far.

TW:Harrassment,sexual innuendos.

Being Barry’s girl meant helping him out at parties.Carrying a pistol,weed and coke for when shit started happening.It was one of those huge ass kook parties with loud music and plenty of stupid teenagers that were looking to buy.

Barry never forced you to leave the trailer, letting you do whatever you wanted most of the time as long as he knew where you were and that you were safe and had your phone on you just in case things went south and broke out into a fight.

He always made sure you were armed, didnt matter where you were going or who you would be with.He always had you carry a gun or a knife.He cared a lot for you, you were probably the one person on the island that he actually gave a shit about.

He remembered meeting you and immediately having an attraction to you, not just to your appearance but your overall aura and the way you spoke.He had listened to every word, the way you began to stutter when you were nervous.

He knew how you would act at parties, secretly watching you like some stalker.He admired the way that you’d take their keys, hiding them and writing a note on their leg for when they were sober enough to see properly.

You’d stay with the younger folks that were doing hard drugs to make sure that they wouldnt overdose or accidentally hurt themselves.He couldnt understand how you had the space in your mind to care about these random clients and he couldnt understand why he cared about you either.

It made him smile when you brought the money back to him, listening to the rules that he had given you and bringing back just as much as you should have.

Most of his workers would take some of the money from themselves or spend a fraction on something but you never did, not until he told you that you could when he found out that you lived in a shed with a shitty mattress on the floor with a battery powered lantern.

He would invite you over so you could sleep in a real bed and then at some point you had moved in with him.He didnt even know how he ended up falling for you and kissing you good night, hugging you from behind and pulling you to sit in his lap while he played a card game with a client.

He had noticed little things about you, how you were ready to fight anyone that dared to talk back to him.You were the only one allowed to do that and for anyone else to do that was a direct attack on both you and Barry.

Tonight Rafe had a good amount of shit on him,looking for people that were stupid enough.He had seen you at Barry’s plenty of times, never understanding where you were or why you were there.

Barry had gone to get alcohol,letting you roam free.He liked to watch you in your natural habitat,easily getting the crowds to split so you could get through.He sipped a beer,keeping an eye on you,chuckling when he noticed Rafe approach you.

He knew how much you hated the tall boy and how annoying Rafe was.He was excited to see how things would play out, a smirk on his face, taking a quick shot of fireball before turning to watch again.

“Hey beautiful.”Rafe smirked,refusing to move out of your way.You rolled your eyes,going to move around him only for him to grab your arm,squeezing your wrist. “Dont try to ignore me.”He whispered,his eyes moving down to places that they shouldnt be.You knew that you could easily destroy him, not feeling worried because you had the upper hand.Rafe just didnt know it yet.

You sighed,attempting to move past him again. “What?You think you’re too good to have a conversation with me?Dont be like that.”He chuckled,pretty much undressing you with his eyes.It was absolutely disgusting. “Im a fucking pogue,you’re not my type.”You hoped that would work.

You knew how much he despised the residents of The Cut.He shrugged, not really caring. “Doesnt matter,you’re hot.”He replied,biting down on his bottom lip. “Get the fuck out of my way.”You repeated, not backing down.

His smirk turned into nothing but emotionless,staring down at you and gripping your waist tight to hold you in place.You knew him as Rafe Cameron or ‘Country Club’.You had heard his name thrown around, mainly from Barry and the kids that Rafe terrorized.You couldnt even imagine being so pathetic that you started to beat up 16 year olds that were just living their lives.

He was a coke addict,an asshole and an all around terrible guy.He would stare at you whenever he saw you in Barry’s place,whether it be on the bed or in the main room with a blunt in between your fingers.His eyes would go wide when they fell on your practically bare chest,his face flushing and looking away quickly.It was annoying as all hell.

 “Do you know who the fuck I am?”He asked,fingernails digging into your skin. “Yeah?You think youre cool shit?Nobody gives a fuck who you are.”You snarled at him,scratching up both his wrists with your nails,creating red bloody lines.He stared down in horror. 

“You fucking bitch-I should punish you.”He grabbed at both your wrists,seeming like he was trying to throw you to the ground but not succeeding.He smiled a bit,licking his lips. “Can you imagine if I fucked you?You’re gonna look at me and tell me youre not interested?”He asked, looking you up and down.Managing to get one of your arms free,grabbing your pistol and holding the cold metal against Rafe’s chest.

Barry sighed,finishing his beer,deciding to intervene before you pulled the trigger.If it were anyone else he probably would’ve let you shoot but because it was Rafe he would lose half of his business if the son of a bitch was dead.Rafe watched,eyebrows furrowed as Barry came up behind you,his arms locking around your waist,whispering in your ear. 

“You wanna shoot him, baby?Go ahead and do it.Or you can let me punish the bitch, your choice.”He kissed your temple,smirking when you let out a sigh and dragged the cold metal down Rafe’s chest and put the pistol back in its place.

 “What did I tell you about messing with my shit?”Barry asked, squeezing your waist with a grin on his face as Rafe’s eyes widened, gulping. “Huh?You’re not gonna answer me?”Barry was holding you by his side,a smirk on his face. “I-I dont...you said not to mess with anything.”Rafe mumbled,staring at your gun nervously.

Barry nodded,squeezing your waist. “Yeah,that includes my girl.”Barry glanced over at you, Rafe’s heart dropping into his stomach.He didnt know that you were Barry’s.He had seen you around the trailer plenty of times,even seeing you on Barry’s bed in just your bra and underwear but he had assumed you were just the drug dealer’s fuck buddy. 

“I-I didnt know...im sorry.”Rafe mumbled, not quite satisfying you. “Why are you apologizing to me?Im not the one you tried to fuck, what?You dont got any respect for my girl? Fuckin misogynist ass.”Barry glared,thinking about a million ways he could absolutely pulverize the kook in front of him.

You chuckled,your arm around Barry. “Yeah, rich bitch.You want me to fucking shoot you in that ugly face of yours?I think your brain would look pretty great splattered across the ceiling.What do you think,Bear?”You asked your boyfriend,noticing the way his eyes were twinkling at the way you were being so assertive.

 “I think it’d look great,some color in this fuckin prison lookin place.”Barry agreed,looking up at the bare ceiling. “No-no,please!Dont kill me-im sorry.Im sorry, I didnt realize.”Rafe stuttered,making you laugh.

 “What?You’re only sorry because you know that im Barry’s bitch?What if I wasnt?”You asked,rolling your fingertip over the trigger of the gun.Rafe licked his lips,not knowing where to look or what to do. 

“I just...I didnt mean it like that.”He muttered, quite literally about to shit his pants. “You didnt mean what?Didnt mean to what?To bruise me or say rude shit to me?Which is it?”You asked,watching Barry’s jaw clench.

You hummed when he didnt answer, lifting up your leg and kicking him hard in the crotch.The boy collapsed,gasping for air.You pulled Barry’s arm off you,kneeling down and grabbing Rafe by his hair,pulling his head up before slamming his face onto the tile and sending his teeth through his bottom lip.

You smiled,giggling as you grabbed Barry’s hand. “Alright, lets go home.”You smiled up at your boyfriend,kissing him gently before leading him out of the large house.Rafe’s friends were rushing towards him and trying to figure out what happened.

You couldnt care less, Rafe Cameron’s friends were a ton of pussies that wouldnt dare to mess with someone that had a gun.Barry twirled you around, chuckling as you got into the car, his hand on your thigh as he drove. “He was scared shitless, baby.Its cute when you’re all defensive.”He grinned,pulling in behind the trailer.

 “Shut up.”You answered,going inside and getting on the bed,emptying your pockets of drugs,laying down properly.He came in a few moments later,stripping into just his boxers and his tanktop,climbing into the bed next to you, pulling one of the many blankets over the both of you with a sigh. “You shouldve shot him.”He grumbled. “Yeah, maybe next time.”You kissed his forehead.

@outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off 

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.If you’d like to be tagged in Barry imagines/headcannons comment with a purple emoji.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

[enchanted--realm]

When Calls the Heart Live Ramples

Season 8 episode 9 Pre Wedding Jitters

That scene in 👏Nathan's 👏office👏 The lines they wrote for Kevin *chef's kiss* perfection. I mean, I still dont like this whole secret reveal thing. I think it's so dumb. Like, ain't no way the writers intended Nathan to have this secret when he first came to the show. I don't think he was suppose to have any secret at all. I mean, this whole, 'There's something he's not telling me' thing came out of nowhere. That aside, the love confession was great, again, and he left Elizabeth speechless again and she ran away, AGAIN. That tells me all I need to know. She cannot deny this man BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM. And if y'all think otherwise than you're delusional.

The game at the bachelorette party. It was obvious from the promo for this episode how this would play out. She reaches for Nathan's hands and thinks he's the one. (I was predicting that she would know it was Nathan and then feel uncomfortable and move on, but that didnt happen. She thought he was Lucas *bleh. Though I was still right in thinking Nathan would be 'the one' during this little game). We like that. I really liked how the party scene lasted longer than I expected. It wasnt even too long of a scene, but it was definitely long for When Calls the Heart. This show really needs to work on it's pacing. Everything happens so fast bc they have to cut to the millions of side plots that happen in every episode. My gosh, would they give us some focus please.

When Lucas came by Elizabeth's house in the morning I enjoyed that they interacted more casually with each other it seemed, at least it did on Elizabeth's part. Just through small details like the way she was casually leaning in the doorframe or her tone of voice. She wasnt so awkwardly polite...but Lucas still was. Lucas is so polite it's uncomfortable. Like I don't feel like anybody could just be themselves around him, bc it's like every meeting has this awkward air of being polite to an acquaintance you dont know well. Ugh it's so weird. I didnt like that Elizabeth told him Nathan's reveal. I feel she should have kept that to herself. Ugh and then Lucas wanted to act all protective and 'talk' to Nathan. Oh please. That is not his place. Elizabeth is obviously the one who needs to talk with Nathan and it's no one else's business what goes in between them, besides Allie of course. And speaking of Allie, I thought her scenes were really good and thoughtful. I still think it was weird that Lucas got her a gift for her adoption ceremony, but whatever we are past that now. I like that her character is being more mature about everything too. I really hope we get a scene where Allie and Elizabeth have their own conversation though. They need it. I'm not sure how I feel about that obvious Paul (Florence's son) having a crush on Allie. It seems that the writers will want them to like each other. I guess it could be cute? It's just a little awkward bc we havent seen this Paul kid around before so it creates a weird air that the only reason he shows up now is to be a school crush for Allie. Eh. Jaeda was great though and I think she did her scenes well.

After Lucas and E talked, I think it's obvious to Lucas that Elizabeth has strong feelings for Nathan and that she's just running away from them. I mean, she told Lucas that when Nathan told her he loves her all she could do was say nothing and just leave. *holds out arms and stares with a 'well, there you have it' expression'* IT DOESNT GET ANY CLEARER THAN THAT. I wonder if the writers will make Lucas step down bc he cant be with someone who will never love him. Idk how Lucas will react honestly, Lucas's character is such a mystery to me I could never know what he would do in a situation that didnt involve setting up a perfectly romantic date or sweet talking someone with an annoyingly, unrealistic, perfectly understanding polite response.

Elizabeth was also super rude to the people she cares about in this episode. The way she talked to Rosemary. First, she didnt like hearing what Rosemary had to say, which implies that she may have been blaming Nathan for Jack's death. That is such a horrible thing to hold against someone. I mean I could understand why she would feel that way but just for a moment. I mean she should understand how completely wrong and irrational that thought process is and that she shouldnt blame Nathan. TWO, then she had the nerve to tell Rosemary something like 'why would you think that comment would help me right now'. Wow Elizabeth. Gee, maybe she's saying the truth and she's also your friend and just trying to talk things through and give her opinion as a way to help you through your difficult situation. God forbid she doesnt say the perfect thing that you needed to hear at that time, she can't read your mind. I thought that was incredibly rude. It hurt to see Rosemary hurt. And then later she told her that she should leave her house. *SCOFF* man, she was really hitting Rosemary hard this episode. If I were in Rosemary's shoes, yes I would be hurt, but I think I would mostly be understanding of what Elizabeth might be going through and not take anything personally. E's lucky that Rose is such a good friend. OH! What Rosemary told Nathan in the library! She totally implied with her little metaphor comparison that Nathan was making Elizabeth unhappy by getting in the way of true love, i.e. Lucas and Elizabeth. I-- wow! Everyone is against this man. I'm so glad that Nathan stands firm. I mean he knows that Elizabeth feels strongly for him based off her reactions to his honesty with her and how she never denies anything and just runs away. I mean, it's plain as day. Let's not forget the *speechless gaze into each other's eyes* 'I can't' from Honestly, Elizabeth.

I think that's it regarding the love triangle. I absolutely despise the Faith and Carson relationship. And I cant believe they made him say, come with me to Baltimore and we can see in a year if we want to get married. That is so dumb. He just asked Faith to drop everything and leave her life in Hope Valley for a 'I might break up with you in a year' situation. Dumb. This is definitely out of character for Carson. It's obvious the writers are just trying to get rid of him and make him not be missed by the audience. They clearly want us to favor Faith, but she couldnt be more annoying honestly. I wish she were leaving and Carson would stay in Hope Valley. But whatever.

I dont like how every side plot seems to be about some couple's budding relationship. I mean aside from the love triangle, we have Florence and Ned, Molly and Bill, Clara and Jesse (though not a budding relationship, it's still all about their relationship) and now Rachel and Christopher and oh yes also Fiona and whoever that guy is and wow I'm still missing Faith and Carson. Thats 6 other romantic relationships in the show (not including the also important one of Rosemary and Lee) and I'm probably leaving one out. Oh yes, now possibly Allie and Paul. 7. Seven relationship side plots!!! Omg I'm going crazy!! They need to learn how to write some actual plot! What happened to town problems and family drama! Thank goodness we have Henry Gowen and his son (cant believe I just complimented that out of nowhere concept but hey) and the oil thing with Lucas and Henry, barely ever a plot line. This show needs better writing. There's no glue holding the town together and even when there is, it's so small or happens so fast that it doesnt have any long lasting and meaningful affect.

If I weren't so invested in Elizabeth's plotline and in need of some wholesome tv, I would have stopped watching a long time ago. Oh and the last thing. The mention of Abigail. I'm so glad Henry mentioned her because she was very important to him and his character growth. His character arc is one of the saving graces of the show and it needs to be given more attention.

Okay in short, Elizabeth was hecka rude, Nathan is wonderful and so was that office scene. We also stan Allie. Next week's episode also looks like a dud and I dont think much will happen.

[wolferals]

🌿ILYSB🌿

arón piper preference

••listen to „come back home“ by lauv while reading to get the feels••

*

*

•flashback•

-„no dont worry, ill visit you!" arón told you while wiping away your tears

-you were currently standing in your driveway with your parents waiting in the car behind you

-the moving van had left already before aron came over to say goodbye to his best friend

-you were moving to another country

-leaving Luarca was one of the worst things for you but your dad missed his hometown in (wherever you're from) and made all of you move

-„promise?" you asked him

-„of course! We can see each other in the summer alright?"

-you hugged him tightly and tried to enjoy this hug as if it was your last

-little did you know, it really was

•

-it was now 7 years later and you were back in spain to start studying there by next week

-so you decided to visit your cousin after you arrived

-and on a friday night you decided to go to one of the best clubs in Madrid

-she wanted you to meet some of her friends to know some people in the city when you start college

-you two looked great

-your cousin Emma was wearing a loose summery dress with her long brown curls reaching down her back

-you on the other hand were wearing a dark red top paired up with some black skinny jeans

-your hair was half up half down making your cheekbones show off

-when you entered the club it was around 9 and Emma pulled you towards a group of people

-„hey guys!" she greeted each one of them and kissed their cheeks

-„thats my wonderful cousin y/n, who is finally back, i told you about her." she said and sat down

-„hey!" you spoke to the small group and hugged them as well

-„well, welcome back y/n." a black haired guy with a mustache spoke and smiled at you

-his name was Juan

-„thank you! I mean i just got here yesterday but im really excited to live and study here."

-you guys kept talking for a while and had a lot of fun until one girl got up to talk to someone on the phone

-when she came back she looked excited

-„who was it?" another friend of Emmas asked

-„this guy i met the other day, he wants to see me and is gonna come here in 15."

-all her friends seemed happy for her but you didnt really know what to think because you just met her

-so you kept minding your own business for a while but suddenly the alcohol kicked in and you got a headache out of nowhere

-you excused yourself and headed outside to catch some fresh air

-feeling the warm spanish air hit your face made you feel a little better after some time and you decided to go back inside

-on the way to the bar you thought you heard your name and turned around while walking

-and of course you bumped into someone

-your first look fell to the floor where the person had dropped their phone

-„oh shit, im sorry.“ you spoke quickly and picked up the phone, checking if it had any scratches or cracks

-„no hay problema.“ you heard a deep voice say and gave this person their phone back

-you just looked up for a quick second, didnt really look at his face and moved past him to get back to your friends

-they were talking about something and someone then asked you if you were feeling any better

-you claimed yes and then checked your phone for a second

-with like paying half attention you heard a girl say:“oh he‘s here!“

-you figured she was talking about the date she had mentioned before

-some guy walked up to you guys, greeted you and then sat down right next to you because it was the only free seat

-you didnt look up really

-but then he said:“oh eres tú otra vez“ laughing a little

-then you looked at him for the first time

-like really

-and you stopped breathing

-it was aron

-the guy who had promised he‘d visit you after your move, then at some point got a new number and never called or texted you again

-„arón?!?“ you exclaimed loudly

-he looked at you in confusion

-„you two know each other?“

-„yes“ „no“ you two said at the same time

-did he really not recognize you?

-he looked at you like you were a stranger and it broke your heart

-„can we talk alone for a minute?“ you asked him and stood up without getting a response at first

-he agreed and you two went to the back of the club to talk a little

-„how do you know my name?“ he then asked you still looking confused as hell

-„dont you know me anymore? I‘m y/n, we used to be best friends.“

-he suddenly looked like he saw a ghost

-he stared at you, then looked you up and down and then stopped at your eyes

-„y/n?“ he asked quietly and took a step closer to you

-„you never called.“ you spoke, noticing how sad that had sounded

-he took a deep breath and then replied:“we shouldnt discuss this here.“

-after a little break he continued:“its incredible to see you, why are you here?“

-„imma start my studies in about a week.“ you said dry

-„oh thats amazing! But first, come here.“

-the boy who used to have crazy curly hair but now had a buzzcut pulled you in a hug

-he had gotten taller

-and more muscular

-and he smelled amazing

-it felt so strange yet kind of familiar to finally hug your (ex) best friends again

-„you got taller y/n/n (nickname)“ he laughed and looked at your shoes

-„well you too mr piper. Its been 7 years after all.“

-he nodded and then spoke:“thats true. Im really sorry for not texting you after you left but a lot happened, it was hard to not have you around all the time and then i got this part in a movie that kept me busy over summer and...“

-„i get it.“ you interrupted him and just looked at his face

-he didnt change much

-except that his face got more clear-cut and you could see a tattoo showing on his chest

-in his pocket you could see a pack of cigarettes

-you never thought he‘d be the type for tattoos or smoking

-but apparently its true, a lot had happened

-after talking to him for about 10 minutes

-just catching up on the past years

-you noticed that his personality hadnt changed as much as you had expected at first

-then this blonde girl came up to you and grabbed his arm

-„arón i thought this was going to be our date.“

-he nodded but then looked at me and told her:“I know and im sorry, we have to push that to another day. You know y/n and I havent seen each other in a long time and we need to catch up.“

-he pulled his arm away from her and turned around to you again

-„are you serious?“ she asked pissed off

-„yeah sorry.“ he said while staring into your eyes

-„you know what, we‘re done here.“ she basically yelled at him and left

-„that was a little rude.“ you then told him looking at her walk away

-„i mean yeah, but you‘re more important right now. You look really pretty i didnt say that before.“

-you laughed and looked away, blushing slightly

-„you look great too. The buzzcut suits you. Makes your jaw pop.“

-and after all these years never finding a best friend like he was, this beautiful human being was finally back in your life

-you were finally happy again because you knew he felt the same

-and there you were now

-two people finding back to each other after so many years, standing in a full club, just focusing on the other while „come back home“ by lauv was playing in the background

[arthurflecksgirl]

Mysterious stranger /Arthur being stalked by you

This was a request by someone on Twitter :)

Arthur is being stalked by a pretty girl /YOU

I decited to write from Arthurs view and the girls view.

So it switches.

Arthur and reader

Romance

Warnings: Nothing really, mentions of mental illness,

ENJOY :) <3

ARTHUR I just woke up all sweaty in in the middle of the night one more time. My insomnia was getting bad again. I felt like it has been getting worse since mum was at the hospital. I was worried about her condition. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday, which was bad. The pills helped me to find some rest at night. Without them my mind was racing, keeping me awake. Driving me INSANE. I usually started to write in my journal when I couldnt sleep but without my medication there were just black scribbles all over the diary when I looked at the pages. The last time I was off my meds I wrote the whole night through and when I looked in my journal the next morning,there was nothing but blank pages. Nothing. So, there is a reason I shouldnt forget to take them. But too many thoughts ran through my head yesterday, I just didnt thought of anything else. First of all I thought about Penny and if I was the reason she ended up at the hospital. I felt like I am a burden to her. She always told me I was brought into the world to spread joy and laughter. But she doesnt even think i`m funny. Imagin what a disappointment I must be to her.I was born for a reason and I couldnt even fullfill my destiny. This shit really kept me awake. And some other thing... A week ago I just came home from my therapist. And when I was waiting on the tram station, there was this girl in the middle of the crowd. She just kept on staring at me like... I don`t know. She just did. And it kinda scared me.I wasnt  used to peope staring at me like that. Usually I was the one observing things around me. Watching people. I always tried to observe. I need it for my jokes. The best jokes are inspired by real life actions. Stuff you see happening on the streets. I also watched people closely to understand what they are laughing about and how they react to jokes. Sometimes I sat on a table at Pogos and made little notes about what I think is important. I really wanted people to like me. I wanted be a light for them. Gotham needs some light. I wanted to be listened to and I wanted to be seen. I`ve got a lot to say but I`ve never talked to others cuz I didn`t knew how to start a conversation.  So I watched and learned how others managed to do that. I realized that my timing is a bit off when I laughed at others jokes. I`m wasn`t sure why. I needed to find out. Anyway, I wasn`t used to someone staring at me. I always wished someone did and when I saw that girl I should have been happy that she saw me but I didnt knew what to do about it. I wasnt sure WHY she was looking at me the way she did. If it was for good or for bad reasons. And I guess thats what made me insecure about  the whole situation. As soon as I got in the tram I kinda forgot about it but two days later I saw her again. I was standing in the pharmacy and was just about to pay, when I saw her standing outside the window. She was beautiful. There is no doubt it was the same girl. She was looking at me again.  I payed and when I turned around she was gone. For a moment there I was scared it might be another episode of hallucinations. That would be really bad. But it could be. I mean... why should a pretty face like her standing there, staring at me TWICE? I`m afraid this isnt really happening. Dr Kane said I should watch out for more hallucinations, especially about girls. So I will.

YOU This city made me sick. It`s beent two weeks since I moved here and already hated it here. It was grey, it smelled and people were rude. I didnt wanted to become one of the peole here. It seemed like it was a bad desicion to move here in the first place, but I couldnt afford to pay rent anymore, so I ended up here, in this really bad neighborhood.  I felt like I screwed up my life. Sleep was something I barely remembered. Every night I was lying awake, afraid of someone might brak into my apartment. Like I said... bad neighborhood.You couldnt trust anyone here. A week ago I got so nerveous while trying to sleep that I got up, made some tea and watched out the window. Even at night people walked down the streets, mostly homeless guys. It was one ugly, rainy, cold night. I sipped on my tea and watched the raindrops falling on the dark pavement. Like the whole city was crying out loud. I burned my tongue on the hot cup . I swear I saw someone standing in the window across the street. But it was no one there. Oh great, I thought. Two weeks here in Anderson avenue and you already start to see shadowns at night. But then I saw it again. It wasnt a shadow. It was a man standing in his kitchen, smoking a cigarette. Oh, just a neighbor, no shadows. Good. I realized that I could see most of the kitchen, his curtains were kinda see though. He turned around so I could see his profile. He had almost shoulder long, bown hair, slightly curly, a beautiful jawline and high cheekbones. I could tell from the distance that he was indeed very beautiful. I turnedmy light off to make sure he couldnt see me standing at the window, looking into his. But he didnt looked out the window anyway. It looked like he was talking to someone, but as far as I could tell he was the only one in the room. I watched him puttig down his cigarette as he took off his dark red sweater. I didnt expected him to be this thin. It seemed like he stopped talking and suddenly he started to raise his hands above his head, moving gracefully. He was dancing all alone by himself. In his kitchen. I couldnt help but staring at him and started to feel kinda bad for watching this behind my curtain. But something about him was just so insanly attractive. i stared at his fragile chest, his bony ribs, his messy bed hair. I guess he couldn`t find sleep, just like me. I wondered if he was sleepwalking. The way he moved was extraordinary. Suddenly he stopped. I almost got scared because I was so drawn to his dance moves, it seemed so unnatural to just stop. I took a step back from my window because he came a step closer to his. But he just leaned over the sink now. It looked like he was crying.  Something about this hurted my heart. I didnt even knew him but I couldnt help but feeling empathy for this beautiful, fragile man across the street, He was crying harder now. I felt my eyes watering as he slapped his own face. Why would he do that? Then he watched out the window. I was hiding in the corner of my room so fast I guess my curtains moved. I hope he didnt caught me staring. My heart was racing. Was he still there? I waited two minutes till I watched out the window again. He was gone.

ARTHUR I decited to go through the pages again I had written a week ago. I have to figure out why I remembered writing something that wasnt there in the morning. I skipped though the paged and stopped at a page that didnt even looked familir to me. Little drawings of catladies smoking cigs. i don`t remenber drawing this and start to read. "Insomnia is choking me again. It wrappes its strong arms around my neck, smothering me to death. At least thats how it feels while lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. So last night I wandered around the apartment for at least two hours straight. I smoked two packs of cigs as the music started playing in my head again. There is always music in my head, well, most of the time. Sometimes it gets so loud I can`t ignore it anymore. Its just floathing althrough my body, like energy. It holds me in its warm arms and I have to obey. It wanted me to dance again last night, so I moved around the kitchen to the music and it was so tragically beautiful in between the movements it made me do, that it almost started to hurt my body. So I stopped and wished for the sound to stop but it didnt and I just stood there and started to cry. Watching my tears falling into the kitchen sink, like the rain outside. The music still playing in my head. I slapped my face. Hard. Still noisy. I watched out the window. Gotham was crying, too. The city was just as depressed as I was. I swear I could see a shadow in the window across the street. But thats impossible. The neighbors there moved out some weeks ago. Must be my visions again."

YOU I couldnt stop thinking about the man across the street since I saw him. I watched out the window for so many times but I didnt got to see him for about thee days. But then I saw him crossing the street as I was just about to go buy some food. I know it wasnt the right thing to do but I followed him. I just needed to see him closer. I kept my distance so he won`t notice me. He was walking like someone that just got beaten up, his thin body hidden behind a brown sweater , and a jacket that looked way too huge on his small shoulders. He kept looking to the ground, his brown curls hanging sweaty upon his forehead. Even though his body language looked sad, he still managed to be extremly attractive to me. He was walking to the tram station and waited on his tram to arrive as I tried to be just a face in the crowsd, so I could take a closer look at him. I passed some people standing in the way until I found the right spot. There he was. Just about some foots away from me.And suddenly, as I was staring, he was looking right at me. God, I felt like my heart just sopped. Never ever have I seen more beautiful eyes in my life. So intense, piercing right though me, green but so very sad. I dont know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me but i felt like he caught me staring. I wanted to  turn around and leave imediately but his tram arrived and he got in there before I could even react. At night his pretty face appeared in my mind. Againa nd again. I just couldnt get him out of my head.I was closing my eyes, and caught myself dreaming about kissing him.  I laughed at myself. Silly girl ! Dreaming about the mysterious new neighbor was such a clishe. But it wouldnt help. I still wanted to get to know him. there was something so mysterious about him. His little dance in the kitchen. The crying at the sink.... his eyes!   I thought about ways to just talk to him, I mean we were neigbors, right? I could find a reason to just go to him and say something. But nothing came to my mind. So I decited to follow him one more time. Maybe he would just ran into me and we would talk. Two days later I saw him leaving the house again, so I threw a jacket over my shoulder and got downstairs in a hurry. This time there weren`t much people around so it was even harder for me to follow him without getting caught. Something about watching him started to turn me on.It was fun to fantasize about someone who didnt even knew you existed. But at the same time I wanted him to know that I exist. Maybe not yet but... He went to the pharmacy. I stopped outside. I thought about going in and pretend I wanted to buy something. But I forgot my purse so this would have been embarrassing. I saw him from behind, his blue pants looked baggy on him. Everything did. And just when I thought this was a good situation to stalk him, he turned around again and I knew he saw me. He looked me right into my eyes! I captured the moment he looked at me in my mind and tought about it in the afternoon, when I was lying in my bed, dreaming about touching his beautiful face. Soon he became my fave fantasie. I couldnt even find pleasure in any other daydream anymore. He was my sexy secret and I liked it that way. But I just knew that soon this wouldnt be enough. I had to get closer. I wanted him to see me. Not just from across the street. I wanted to get to know him as a person. I needed to know his story, I needed to know why he was so sad.

ARTHUR I just couldnt figure out my very own diary anymore. Something definitaly went wrong at the moment. I guess all the lonelyness got too much. I mean, I must have been used to this  but i wasnt. It got harder every day of my life. I wished for someone to love me so much that I had visions about girls. I tend to get them a lot but then it stopped for a while and now it seemed to start again. I was kinda worried about my condition and took two more pills today. I knew I shouldnt but I thought it would be better than forgetting to take them again. The slight overdose made me sweat a lot so I was in underwear only for the whole day, just lying on the coouch, watching all my fave episodes of teh Murray Franklin show. The only thing that made me stay up was going to the kitchen to make some coffe. I watched out the window while waiting for the water to bowl. There she was again. the girls I saw at the tram stationa nd at the pharmacy. She was crossing the street. I checked my forehead for fever.  I was burning up. Must be the overdose. "She`s not really there" I whispered to myself "Arthur, she`s not real, don`t even look". But I looked. And I could swear she was looking up my window before she headed to my house. I blushed. But I guess that was also caused by the fever. God, she looked like an angel. Such a sweet girl. She would never even  give me a look in real life. I knew that. And if she did... I wouldn´t even know what to do. I`ve never been with a woman before in my whole life. I never even kissed someone before. I`m just a loner. All I have are my fantasies. And Dr Kane wants to take them away from me,too. Maybe I should just give in and accept them. What if it wasnt a hallucination this time? What if this girl really saw me? What if?

You I did it. I wrote him a postcard. I held the card in my hands for like an hour and stared at it. I thought I wasnt brave enough to actually throw it in his letter box. But I did.I sneaked into the house and when I was standing in front of the letter boxes I wondered which one could be his. Thank god  some lady just got out of the elevator and I asked her which letter box belongs to the window with the thin curtain. And she told me that they belong to apartment 8J. It just took me about some seconds to find the right box. P. FLECK. There it was. FLECK. I threw my postcard in without giving it a second thought, otherwise I would have changed my mind. I was heading back home, blushing.

ARTHUR I woke up with a bad headache. Another appointment with Dr. Kane. I wanted to take a bath but I was too lazy and decited to let it be. I just brushed my hair back, lighted a cig and went out the house. I checked the letter box and hoped for a letter from Thomas Wayne, I mean, I knew there wouldnt be one but it would make my mother happy so I still hoped for it. Somehow she was obsessed with Wayne and I didnt even knew why. My heart just skipped a beat as I saw an hand written postcard. Wayne? I started reading it. "Dear mysetrious stranger, You don`t know who I am but I saw you out on the streets some days ago and I think I fell in love with you. I even dreamed about you at night. I really hope you`re doing fine. Kisses The girl who loves you"

I just kept staring at the letters. I rubbed my eyes. the letters were still there. The girl who loves you. I must have blushed. Was this real? I let my fingers slide over the paper. It felt real. I turned the card around. A plain red heart on white background. I touched it so many times and hoped for a proof that this was eighter real or a dream. Sometimes I am not sure anymore. Who would ever send me a card? I searched for a stamp. None. Someone must have threw it in the letter boy by themself. The girl ! The girl I saw on the street. Now it all made sense to me. Was she following me? I smiled. The thought of this pretty girl having a crush on me was wonderful. But I got scared at the same time. I could never get up and talk to her. How could I? I bet she thinks I am some sexy guy who knows how to get it on. She was dreaming about me? What dreams? I imagined her touching herself while thinking about me and I giggled to myself. "Nahh she wouldnt do that" I said to myself. Reading the postcard again "Or would you, sweet strange girl?" I put the postcard close to my heart. Her fingers must have touched the paper all over when she was writing me these lines. Does she want to touchme with those fingers? Oh I would love to touch her fingers. But what if she ever comes up to me personally and I would just stand there, frozen. Not a word coming out of my mouth? The thought of this scared me a lot. My biggest fear was to laugh in her presence.The laugh that wasnt really one. My condition. That would scare her away for sure. I felt my eyes watering and a tear fell on the postcard, right on the word "kisses". It smeared, which made me even sadder. I needed this card to be perfect. I felt the urge to laugh coming up my throath. But then something else came to my mind. What if I showed the card to Dr. Kane? She could proof to me that this card truly exists. The urge to laugh was gone. I put the card into my paper bag and hurried up to see Dr. Kane.

"Hello, Arthur. How have you been thoughthe last week? Any negative thoughts?" Dr Kane was repeating her same old questions again as I smoked my cig. Next thing would be asking me about my journal. BUT I would have something much more interesting with me this time. "I brought something with me today" I said as I grabbed the card. "I wondered if you could take a look and tell me what you think about this?" Dr Kane took the card out of my hands. She read it. "Who gave it to you, Arthur?" "The girl who loves me" Dr Kane gave me that look "Arhur..." "Well... it says `The girl who loves you `  there at the end, right? "Right" "So, you see it too?" "Sure, Arthur" She gives me the card back. I smiled. It was real. The card was real. Which meant the girl was real,too. No hallucinations. No visions. "Good" "So someone send it to you?" "I found it in my letter box, it has no stamp" "No stamp? Are you sure you didnt wrote it yourself?" she looked confused. I bet she couldnt imagin someone falling in love me me eighter. "Dr Kane, you know how my handwriting looks like." "Right. Can I see it again?" I gave her the card back. Her eyes are focused on it. "No typos" she whispered to herself. "Looks like someone really likes you, Arthur. Be careful" "W-what do you mean?" "You know that you sometimes... well... you tend to lose sense of reality sometimes. It could be difficult to meet up with a girl for you". I put the card back in my bag. "You think I couldnt handle it to have a girlfriend?" "Thats not what I said..." "It is exactly what you said" I got up and left the room. "See you next week, Dr Kane. I cant do this today" I got back home and placed the card under my pillow. I wanted to sleep on it. It was the first love note I ever got and felt so special. I grabbed my Pjs out of my wardrobe and looked at the red suit hanging in there. I never put it on by now. I always felt like it is waiting for a special event in my life. But nothing special ever happens. Until now. The card. the love note. The girl. I grab the suit and walk to the mirror. Holding it in front of my body to see how it would look like on me. I felt so insecure when thinking about dating a girl. I didnt knew how to react in front of her. Maybe the suit would help? I shook my head. Nahh. Just a stupid thought. Back in bed I imagined how it would be to have a girlfriend. To go out on dates with her, walking hand in hand across the streets. I bet Gotham wouldnt be half as bad as if its now. Sharing my life with someone. My bed. Having someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to calm down my bouncing leg. Someone to have sex with, It would be sweet. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

YOU Its been a day since I threw the card in the letter box. No answer. Of course not. He didnt even knew who I was. I watched out the window and hoped to see him in his apartment again. I got lucky this time. I saw him lying on the couch watching tv. He wora a cosy PJ and looked so cute in it. Still sexy though. I could eat him up. I wish I could just go over, knock on his door and tell him that i am the girl who send him the card. I wonder if he even got it yet. maybe he didnt open the letter box since then.  I saw him smoking, writing down some notes.   I tried to see more details of the living room. There was a clown mask and a costume hanging beside a mirror. It seemed like he had a thing for clowns, which made me think. maybe I`ll have a lil surprise for him... I searched through my stuff and  found the big, red flower that used to be part of a Clown outfit I was wearing years ago when I dressed up with my best friends. It looked brand new. Maybe he would like it. I put a little note on it and decited to put it in front of his door. Tomorrow. I couldn`t wait. The next morning I got out of bed early, to wait till he got out of the house.  When he did I sneaked into the house and waited till someone came out again, which lastet at least 50 minutes but it was worth it. I got in the elevator and walked to the door which said 8J. I hold my breath for a second. That was were he lived. He walked through that door every day. I wish I could just walk through it and go into his apartment.Looking though his stuff. I was a bit shamed of myself for having those kinda feelings. I felt like a stalker. But I couldnt stop my own thoughts from wanting him.  I put the big plush Flower down on the doormat and touched the door knob. Just to touch it. To touch what he touched  some about an hour ago. It felt sexy.

ARTHUR I just came home from work at Haha`s and felt drained. It was a long day. I got out of the elevator and saw something lying on my doormat. A big, red plush flower. Like one for clowns! My heart jumped when I picked it up. There was a little note saying "Dear stranger, if you want to meet me , I`ll be at the little fountain in the park today  at 7 O`Clock . The one with the litlle bird stature. It would be a pleasure to get to know you better. Kisses, The girl who loves you"

I bit my lips. Another note. She wanted to meet me. My hands were shaking while reading the note one more time. I actually was shaking so much I had troubles to get my keys into the lock. I threw my jacket on the couch, sat down and pressed the plushy flower to my chest. It felt so soft to the touch. A present. I never got presents. Not even when I was a kid or on my birthdays. Everything about this felt so special. I wanted to meet her so bad but at the same time I was so scared about meeting her, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked tired. Drained. Like someone sucked the life out of my. Heavy bags under my yes, from not getting enough sleep. I brushed my hair back. Better. At least a lil bit. I checked the time and realized it was already after 5 O`clock. I got no time to waste. Should I really go there? Or was Dr Kane right?

YOU I got ready for my potential date. I  didnt even knew if he would show up but i hoped so. I dressed up in my usual clothes. I wanted to be my authentic self around him. I was already waiting on the spot 30 minutes too early. I just couldnt wait any longer. I needed to know if he would come. I wanted to get to know him so bad.

ARTHUR Alright, I could never forgive myself if i wouldnt take the chance, so I decited to show up. I took a bath to feel fresh, washed my hair and put on some nice clothes. Not the red suit though. I picked dark red pants, a matching vest and a white shirt under it. I hope I looked decent in it and bought some roses before I made my way to the park. I bought them from the last dollars I had but I didnt cared. I wanted to give her some nice flowers. Gotham looked different today while watching out of the trams window. Less dark and depressing. But I guess it was just me feeling better as usual. I just wanted it to be a nice date. I just wanted her to like me for who I am. I got out of the tram, walking into the park. I saw her from a distance already. There was just one person standing at the fountain, so it must have been her. She was so beautiful, I couldnt belive she was waiting FOR ME. My hands holding the roses started to get all sweaty and I wiped them off on my pants. I stumbled right in front of her as I arrived and the flowers fell out of my hands.  "Ooooppps...I`m...I`m so sorry.. I...." my nervousness killed me. She similed at me as I picked up the flowers and handed them to her "I....um....brought you...som..something...um..." I stuttered. She gave me the sweetest hug "Thats so sweet of you...? Um... I don`t even know your name" she was blushing. "Arthur. My name is Arthur." "Hey Arthur. I`m Y/N. Nice to meet you. Thank ou so much for the roses. They`re beautiful". "Yeah... thank you for the notes...I don`t know what to say...you`re beautiful". Y/N smiled from cheek to cheek. "Thank you, Arthur. Would you like to take a walk though the park and get some coffee later? It would be a nice way to get to know each other. What do you think?" "I think this sounds just wonderful". She gently wrapped her arm around my waist as we were walking though the park. It was a late summer evening and for the first time ever I noticed the birds singing. The music in my head stopped. Maybe Gotham wasn`t as bad after all.

[creacherkeeper]

For the askmeme: Scorpia x Catra AND Abby x Lev. (I'm so obvious in my choices!!!! lmao)

oh good choices good choices 

scorpia & catra

who steals the french fries off the other’s plate: 

bit of a cheat, but they both do. or, to be more specific, there isn’t really “my plate, your plate” when theyre eating together. they never shared in the horde, but once theyre out and theres lots of good food with no rationing, they definitely share. it took catra a while to learn “if im allowed to steal off your plate you can steal off mine too”, but honestly scorpia was just so enthusiastic about trying everything that catra couldnt really say no to sharing. honestly, its still a little bit of a defense mechanism. it “looks better” if they both get a few things and share them, over both of them loading their plates up with a ton of stuff. for this reason they tend to sit next to each other at meals 

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: 

after a while, when theyve both talked A Lot and are a lot more comfortable in their relationships, catra does. only because it flusters the hell out of scorpia. scorpia is very *blush blush* OH NO SHE IS ACTUALLY JOKING I AM WITH PERFUMA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and then perfuma is in the background like Oh i dont mind sharing C:< which flusters scorpia more 

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: 

catra, funnily enough. it’s less “jail” and more “scorpia and perfuma were roleplaying at the bar again and things got a little out of hand”. if scorpia DOES get thrown in jail jail its because she accidentally spoiled a book to mermista and mermista got a bit too mad about it. catra doesnt post bail she just has to talk mermista down 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: 

scorpia, definitely. catra has NO IDEA how to have healthy relationships but she honestly is trying her best to learn. perfuma is a big help, especially explaining WHY things are healthy or unhealthy and the mental effect they can have on people, but scorpia is really great about giving practical examples, and shes open enough that she doesnt mind using herself as an example, even when its something she did wrong 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: 

CATRA but honestly scorpia thinks its hilarious every time which is the only reason catra does it (she does it to glimmer for the opposite reason. she gets so mad) 

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: 

it depends. scorpia REALLY LIKES the top bunk but frequently has trouble with them. if the bed is too close to the ceiling, she’ll end up knocking her claws against it. if the ladder is too dainty, its hard for her to climb up. in those cases, catra takes the top bunk. but theyre just as likely to pull the mattresses and pillows and blankets off and sleeping on the floor 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: 

scorpia. exclusively. catra HATES IT. SHE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO PLAY AND SCORPIA IS SO FUCKING STRONG. A LADY WHO CAN LIFT A TANK SHOULDNT BE HITTING CATRA IN THE HEAD WITH ANYTHING EVEN IF ITS A PILLOW. ONE DAY HER HEAD IS GONNA TUMBLE RIGHT OFF AND THEN WONT SCORPIA FEEL BAD THEN!!! 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: 

oh definitely catra. she flirts with perfuma literally all the time. about half of the time its on scorpia’s behalf and the other half of the time its while making aggressive eye contact with scorpia (she has perfuma’s word it doesnt bother her) 

---

abby & lev 

(skipping a few of these questions because lev is like 4) 

who steals the french fries off the other’s plate:

abby steals lev’s food, which he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND at first. thats just like. NOT a thing they did and he’s super offended?? if he ever got food taken away it was as a punishment, so abby has to explain that its meant to be a sign of familiarity and teasing. she does offer to stop, but after thinking about it lev decides its okay

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail:

while occasionally lev will “act out” to test boundaries and new rules, he is for the most part extremely polite and well mannered. abby, on the other hand, will absolutely get into fights with people she deems are jerks, so lev does have to ask very nicely for her to be let out of the holding cells (”because im a child and she’s my guardian you cant leave me alone”) like. every month at least 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues:

abby TRIES to give lev the talk and honestly it scars both of them so much she decides that it would be better if she got one of the medics to do it (she finds one specifically who can talk to the trans side of things as well, because she’s doing her best but it’s not her area of expertise) 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes:

abby does. this is another talk they have to have about some “rude” actions being friendly, but this one lev decides he does not like. he cant understand why you’d WANT to cheat at games - it makes it unfair so how do you even know who’s the winner??? however, if anyone ELSE tries to cheat lev, abby will cheat them back, and lev decides he does in fact like that 

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk:

actually, abby calls dibs on the bottom bunk. lev has seen lofted beds before, but he doesnt really have a preference where he sleeps. abby, however, says she prefers the bottom. in actuality, she wants to be in the bottom bunk because if there’s a threat, it would be easier to protect lev that way 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights:

lev and yara used to pillow fight when they were young if their mother wasnt home, but he hasnt done it in a long time. he’s hesitant about pillow fighting with abby, just because it was something he did with his sister, but once he decides he’s on board he is brutal. abby mostly goes easy on him because. well. her arms. but lev is like. full on tactical strategy, using his environment to his advantage, launching pillows from vantage points kind of thing about it. even if abby lets herself lose (its ...... not as on purpose as shed like to admit, the kid is fast) she initiates it still because she really loves seeing him have fun  

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here and then Episode II which you can find here and then Episode III which you can find here. So here’s my weird live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode lV.

I remember this being my favourite of the original trilogy because it sets everything up and basically kick started everything but lets see if that changes when i’ve finally got through all of these. 

Also I’m just watching whatever version i can find online because I can’t be bothered to go and find my dvd of it so yeah.. whether we get weird updated version or original effects or whatever, who knows. 

All the old effects like how C3p0 looks and r2d2 are impressive. 

There wasn’t really anything in the opening crawl i felt like commenting on, no big THEY DID THAT IN THE OPENING? but i guess it’s the first one that came out so that makes sense. 

WTF did the stormtroopers use to get that door open, that was so explosive wtf.

Also the blasters are like set to 10000 and smoke is everywhere. 

How did nobody shoot the dorids?

Yooo little Ani nice suit my dude. 

Hold on, she sent a msg with r2 to go to Obiwan which for 1 howd she know he’s alive? I’m gonna presume her dad said or something and 2.. ..why not just.. go yourself? 

So when they’re set to stun a Stormtrooper can shoot someone no problem

Also we dont get enough stun weird circle blaster shots

Ohhhh she didnt go because the scan for lifeforms thing alright ill allow it

but my dude.. even so.. maybe just shoot it just in case? like.. droids exist and people know about them?

DARTH VADERS LITTLE HANDS ON HIPS! Omfg he’s like “God damn, this bitch again.”

This Vader is a sassy boy. 

I love this guy who works with Vader and doesnt mind chatting back to him. 

Loving the droids in the desert. 

R2 does not look like it would work in a desert. 

C3 like “He tricked me into going this way” stop being a lil bich. 

WOOTINI!

The crawler thingy is badass. 

I thought that was a magnet it was just a big sucky pipe. 

GONK

Oh yep theres the new effects. 

Droids sleep? I guess power saver mode. 

Wtf is that dome droid

Luke! Luuuuuke! Iconic 2 words there. Well reused for that episode of Rebels where Obiwan watches from a distance. 

Bocce.. what a classic language. 

OMG OWEN JUST LET HIM GO INTO TOSHE STATION TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS JEEEEZ 

How is that “wasting time with friends” and not chores, going into town to get something sounds like a chore to me. 

Why did they get an atromech anyway? Like.. what’d they need the other droid for? 

C3 is a real bro lbh, if it wasn’t for him, R2 would be with the jawa still. 

Oooh oil bath. sexy. 

I wonder if people ship R2 and C3 because tbh it makes sense to me. 

Luke got an erection at the mention of the rebellion. 

Now it’s getting harder at that random blurry image of his sister. 

R2 is a cheeky lil shit. 

This is just some good home life shit. 

Dat soundtrack. 

You know what.. it’s a really nice home. 

Is it just me or is Owen dressed kinda Jedi-y. 

So is “Sand People” like the racist way to say “Tusken Raider”?

Obiwan, thats a ridiculous fucking noise. 

“Hello There” iconic. 

You know what the Prequels do add a lot to this. 

A young Jedi named Darth Vader.. im sorry.. thats just not a name. 

For someone who wants to get off the planet, Lukes like “Naa but i gotta get home”

Obiwan also just being like “You know what, fuck it here.. lets go.”

You know what as much of a bitch as that guy who gets force choked is, he’s a good actor. 

Also Tarkin yay. 

NOOOOO OWEN AND BERU! YOU BASTARDS!

I feel like he should have dropped to his knees or something there. 

That is a scary droid. 

Cool door close. 

Thats a weird ass CG droid with a hole in. 

None of the other storm troopers gonna wonder why Dave’s being weird? 

Wahey! Figrin Dan and the Model Nodes! Love that Jizz music. 

Who just ugs on the back of a bartenders shirt? Wtf Luke

Yo he didnt even pay for his drink, free drinks?

Who gets the death sentance in 12 systems and goes around bragging? 

The first arm cut off and theres all sortsw of blood which there shouldnt be because lightsabers cauterize the wound, tut tut. 

Gooood scene with Han and Obi, honestly i keep forgetting to comment because im just watching xD

Wahey! Greedo 

If we’re doing a han shot first thing.. Greedo shot first in this version and missed and then Han shot him but tbh i prefer the Han shot first.. makes him more interesting. 

Jabba looks smaller. 

Casual Boba Fett appearance. 

Yooo Poncho. My boy Cal approves. 

Fuck those weird long nose aliens. 

The Falcon looks so good. 

Get those poor guys by the Death Star laser a damn rail. 

We just cool with igniting the lightsaber in front of Han and Chewie? Chewie at least knows wtf it is.

Chewie is a badass. 

Let the Wookie win. 

WTF that isnt the lightspeed effect.. it’s like a weird blanket tunnel 

The fact they get onto the Death Star with no issue is kind of ridiculous. 

The motion of Darth Vader is kinda just.. not fitting right. 

Han just pat Chewie like hes a dog. Rude. 

Han just gets caught up in this without a choice rly. 

He just wants those sweet credits. 

Also Set Design on Star Wars is amazing. 

Leia just lounging all sexy like 

Also does she have a stain on her tit? .. Not that im looking >.>

The Jedi being called a religion is kinda weird but i guess accurate. 

This has to be the worst star to a friendship for all three of them. Chewie seems cool though. 

I also thought the trash compactor scene was earlier on in this movie than it is. 

Who the fucks voice was it that said “Thats your imagination” ? 

How the fuck are they standing if the water is that deep?

I liek the touch of the monster whos name im sure i learnt but forgot let go as if it knew the trash compactor was about to turn on, that implies it has a safe spot down there that it stays. 

Some of the voices sound off on this but ah well 

Hans already a little Handsy with Leia but i think Harrison Ford was sleeping with Carie at the time so like.. i get it. 

Obiwan just strolling about, as you do. 

I love just these giant pits with walkways with no rails. If I worked on the Death Star it’d be a nightmare for me to get around. 

“NO WAIT THEY’LL HEAR!” ...and they’re not gonna hear you shouting?

Stormtroopers just shooting the shit is the best. 

You know what with everyone being like “Wow that ships a shitheap.” I can understand why the prequels made their ships look nicer and newer. 

I love that shooting a door panel in star wars just makes it so the doors wont open at all, thats some good shit. 

Lukes as bad of a shot as a Stormtrooper. 

First little kissy incesty moment but hey it was on the cheek, universally thats fine but im sure at the time this was him setting up that Luke and Leia were gonna end up together, before he decided they were siblings. 

Vader just standing there, lightsaber already out like “Ahhh Mr.Kenobi I’ve been expecting you”

As lack luster as the chroeography is in this fight im kinda thinking of it as like, they’re reading each other, like Obiwan and Maul’s final fight. 

I don’t really know why Obiwan just chooses to die like that but heyo. 

Vader stomping on Obiwans clothes? Why? I guess because he gave himself to the force and thats the first time he’s seen that? 

I love the gunner seats moving around, idk why i just love it. 

Whats the point of the ear peices if they’re just gonna shout at each other. 

Not mentioned it until now but everyone says Leia wrong. 

They’re really harsh to Han tbf

This is like if you got an Uber to a place and then the Uber driver got pulled into a police station because you’re a terrorist and then you have a go at the Uber driver for wanting to leave after he’s got you out of there. 

Another kiss for Luke.. .. okay

I like how Biggs earlier scenes are deleted so when he shows up it’s just this random dude who somehow knows Luke

That air traffic control guy has no idea what hes doing, nobody is even in the air yet or moving, wait. 

Man X wings are cool, makes me think of Battlefronts VR mission thing where you get to pilot one and it’s the coolest VR thing ive done. 

For a space station the size of a moon you’d think they’d have enough fighters to just wipe out the rebels no biggy. 

ALSO if they know the rebel base is on that planet, why not just blow that planet up? 

YAY WEDGE

The targetting computer seems very invasive. 

Those turrets are useless. 

I would have rated it if they let that random dude blow up the Death Star.

Tarkins thinking face is beautiful. What a man, 

If Luke missed this shot, everyone knows he’s turned his targetting computer off, so they would be PISSED

RIP R2. 

HWHAT!? 

Woooo Mr.Solo. 

Well.. Well done Luke you killed a lot of people, some just trying to do a job and live their lives. 

Han, Leia and Luke all went off together all holding each other.. like.. Threesome? 

I’m sorry but after that, someones doing some fucking. 

Leia just giving her lovers, dont @ me, a medal. Thats why Chewie doesnt get one, he wasnt there for the orgy. 

R2 looking fresh. 

You know what, that is a good complete story that actually works on its own, i appreaciate that. 10/10. :P

[i-writing-is-hard-i]

Blood Traitor pt7

Summary:  You are Draco’s older sister.  A pureblood Witch, without the prejudice and anti-muggle beliefs of your family. Who just so happened to fall in love with none other than a blood traitor, just to complicate matters more Voldemort has returned.  What will you do?

okay, I suck at writing descriptions,

[Disclaimer] Mentions of sex, violence, and hints of torture, I may have screwed up the timeline somewhere along the way, and no one dies, because, thats sad

[Begining]  - [Previous] - [Next]

Part 7

Days had passed since George’s love confession, yet you still had a spring in your step.  You had noticed George looked happier than normal too.  The two of you managed to meet up every two days.  Thankfully.  Even if it meant sitting in silence to do homework.  Well, you did homework, he goofed off, but he let you get on with it without much fuss.  Sometimes you would read while he worked on something for his shop.  It was nice, and you couldn’t hope for more.

It was now time for the first Quidditch match of the school year.  Gryffindor v Slytherin, even if your boyfriend was on opposing team, you had to root for your own house right?, though most were nothing but thugs.  Today was the first time you had ever felt embarrassed by the other supports.  They had come up with a cruel chant for Ron, he already had confidence issues, this was not helping.  As the crowd chanted, Lee Jordan tried to drown it out.  You could faintly make out a lion’s roar, scanning the Gryffindor crowd you found the source, someone was wearing a large lion’s head,  it actually looked pretty cool,  you quickly enchanted it, without being noticed so that the roars would drown out the noise of the Slytherin’s but it only made them sing louder, they were pretty much screaming at this point.  It was deafening

You were actually a little disappointed when your team was winning, you had a feeling it was because of the chanting, but the snitch still had to be caught, that would turn it around and just as you were thinking that, Harry dove, followed by your brother.  Harry caught it.  The Gryffindor’s won.  The crowd erupted into cheers and complaints.  You watched the teams land, Gryffindors players swarming Harry.  Your heart sunk when you watched Draco walking towards them.  Just as you guessed, he said something, probably cruel.  Whatever it was angered the twins, from here you couldn’t really tell who was who, but one of them was being held back by two people, while Harry held the other.  Suddenly Harry and the Twin he was holding back dove on to Draco, you instinctively stood up, he was an arse, but he is still your brother.  You didn’t have to do anything though, Professor McGonagall intervened.  The two were ushered away from the rest, while Draco was seen too.  

You had reached the common room, before Draco, but he as soon as he entered everyone bombarded him.

“Draco what did you say to them?” Pansy asked

“Nothing, I only spoke the truth” Draco feigned innocence.

“Then why would they attack you like that, That Potter really is crazy, and those blood traitor Weasleys” someone spoke, you felt yourself become defensive.

“You were talking about their mothers” someone explained, in an indifferent tone

“Well, of course, they got angry you insulted their loved one’s idiot.  You don’t get to play the victim when you do something like that” you pointed out.  Some people agreed with you, others just glared.  

“Well, I only told the truth” Draco lied.

“Really? And what was it you said” you continued.

“I simply pointed out that their house stink” Draco smiled

“You insulted a dead woman Draco, that’s pretty shameful” you were getting annoyed at how calm and okay with that he was, but you didn’t let it show.

“And? why do you care?” Draco asked defensively

“Why do I care that my brother is acting like a right dick? Because it’s embarrassing” you kept your cool,  the people around you stiffened, turning their attention to other things, but of course, they were still listening.

“Since when did you start caring so much about the Weasley’s and Potter?”

“It’s not them, its the fact that you're, well, you are a childish bully and it’s embarrassing, and I am not going to argue with you, especially in front of everyone, so I am going” you stood up leaving Draco and heading to your room.

The next day you were waiting for George, he had detention, thanks to his ‘outburst’ you knew it would be after curfew, but you didn’t mind.  You kind of wanted to apologise on behalf of Draco.  Finally, he came in rubbing his hand, like he was in pain, you looked down to see the scarring. instinctively you ran over to him, grabbing his hand to get a better look.

“What is this?” you asked, looking up at his face.  He looked annoyed.  You looked back down to his hand, though it was healing, you could tell it was, words, layered on top of each other.

“Did Umbridge have something to do with this?” you asked.

“It’s fine don’t worry about it” George went to pull his hand away, but your grip tightened, pulling out your wand

“Hold still” you ordered.  You used Episkey on it, healing the remaining scarring and easing the pain it had caused then you kissed it.

“I know Draco insulted your mum and Lily Potter” you mumbled, “I am sorry, he’s an arse”

“Forget it, it wasn’t your fault” George was blushing bright, from your kiss.  Your eyes drifted back to his hand.

“So, what happened?” you repeated.

“Eh, Umbridge’s new punishment” George explained,

“Excuse me, Umbridge’s new punishment? it’s abuse, she hurt you” you were clearly annoyed.

“Well, who’s gonna stand up to her about it, besides’s Fred and I will get her back for this” George smiled, he kind of liked it when you were being protective

“Well, it better be good, but it’s still wrong, do the other teachers know? we should tell them, she can’t get away with this, the old bat” you ranted, pacing the room.  George’s smile grew, but then he quickly looked sad again

“This isn’t the worst of it” he muttered.

“What?” you turned to him again, he could see the anger in your eyes.

“Fred, Harry and I have been permanently banned from playing Quidditch while we are at Hogwarts, she got our brooms locked up”

“What!” you practically yelled, “But that leaves your team with no beaters of seeker!”

As annoyed George was, he couldn’t help but smile at your reaction “Gah, you two better make her life a living hell here” you ordered.  This made George burst out laughing

“You are adorable, sometimes love” he breathed, “But don’t worry we have it all planned out”.  

You joined in on the laughing.

“Good, but this is Draco’s fault and for that I am sorry” you spoke.

“Your brother said some mean things, but we shouldn’t have gone for him like that, bloody deserved it though”

“I should really say no to that, but if the tables were turned I would have probably done the same” you mumbled feeling a little guilty for agreeing

“By the way, where did you learn that spell?” George changed the subject for you.

“Charms, Weasley, some of us pays attention in class” you smiled, George simply shrugged,

A few days later, you were sitting in potions working on the brew in front of you, when you felt eyes watching.  You had expected to see George looking at you, but it wasn’t him, it was Tommy, a Slytherin.  He used to flirt with you all the time, but Ignis had warned him off you since then he barely talked to you let alone.  He wasn’t a bad guy.  He seemed to have gained confidence again because recently he had started flirting with you since the start of the year.  When you looked up he gave you smile, you quickly smiled back as to not be rude, then turned your attention back to the colourful liquid.

After class, he caught up to you, as you left the room

“So, huh, Y/N, I know we are pretty busy with all this school work, but I was thinking we could head to Hogsmeade this weekend,” Tommy asked, smoothly, with just the right amount of confidence that most girls would love, not you of course.  He slowly leaned into inter the pretense that it was so he could hear your reply over the crowd, but it was a little too close for your comfort.

“Actually, I uh, have plans” you replied, you actually hadn’t.

“Oh, well we could hang out after class, it’s not like we have much time left at school to spend together,” Tommy asked

Your eyes darted up to see George watching you could really read his expression, it made you smile.

“Well, maybe pretty busy with school work, but I will let you know, when I am free” you smiled sweetly at him, you had no intention in hanging out with him but you didn’t want to be rude.

You weren’t aware that George was now in earshot of your conversation.

“Great, I look forward to it” Tommy looked pretty happy the outcome, you felt a bit guilty, but it wasn’t like you could tell him ‘Sorry I’m dating someone’  after that rather awkward moment you headed down the corridor towards the library, it was a free period, before Dinner.  There was so much work to do.  Just as you reached the door, a certain redhead slid a note into your hand, you quickly read it, ‘Meet me’ it was all it said.  You were supposed to meet BFF/N but decided you could come up with a good excuse later, besides the two of you had agreed to meet later on anyway so you assumed it would be quick.

Pretending you forgot something in potions you made your way down the corridor, slipping down another without being seen until you reached the far empty room.  George was pacing around inside.  Once you had closed the door, he had you pinned up against the door.  Kissing you harshly.  It took your breath away and caused you to drop your bag.  

“George?” you breathed, but he moved his lips to your neck, sliding kisses down while his hands gliding down to your arse.

After some more intense moves from George, he pulled away.  Looking sheepishly at you.

“Sorry, Tommy has been flirting with you too much for liking”  he mumbled.  Looking at your slightly annoyed expression.  The reason of which was because he pulled away.  To show this, you pressed your lips to his, just as urgent as he had.  Pushing him back onto the table.  He didn’t put up a fight as he stumbled back, you took the opportunity to remove your jumper and his before pressing your lips against his.  Part of you was doing this because you simply wanted him, but the other part of you wanted him to know you only cared for him.  George didn’t complain at all, lifting you up letting you wrap your legs around his waist.

Things only heated up from there.

The two of you laid in breathless silence beside each other.  Your clothes were scattered around the room.  It wasn’t exactly the first time the two had done it, but it was never quite as intense.  Once you two caught your breath, you both quickly got dressed, rushing down to dinner, looking a bit of a mess, but you covered yourself by saying you had fallen asleep when BFF/N asked.

Later before you were to meet up with George again you headed up to your dorm room to get changed.

“So, What is going on?, I know you are seeing someone, and I am guessing it’s someone you shouldn’t be seeing” BFF/N suddenly asked.  You froze mid-change.

“What makes you say that,” you asked, returning, tossing your shirt on the bed.

“Well those marks are a dead giveaway” she continued.  You quickly looked in the mirror, finding love bites scattered around your body.  You stared wide-eyed at yourself, you hadn’t even noticed them earlier when you were getting changed.

“Uh, well, I” you stuttered what were you going to tell her? You knew she wouldn’t tell anyone, or even judge but was it still the right thing to do?

“Oh, great Godric, is it a teacher, but who would it be?” she started pondering to herself.

“It’s not a teacher” you stated, blankly.

“Oh, then who, if you can’t tell me then that’s okay” she smiled, at you with a slightly sad expression.  

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just” you did really want to tell her.  She looked so sad, and a little hurt.

“It’s George” you, blurted out.  Feeling a little bit better already.

“George who?” just as she asked that realisation hit her. “George Weasley?”

You nodded as she stared.

“Ah, I see, that’s why would can’t tell anyone” she looked sad again.

“Yeah, well, after this year we won’t have to worry about keeping it hidden” you smiled.

“So, how long as it been going on?, is this who you're with when you disappear?, who asked who out” BFF/N bombarded you with questions, it felt normal.  You smiled at her, maybe sharing somethings wouldn’t be bad.

“Well, we’ve been dating since the ball, George made the first move and yes he is who I am with when I go off, I am not telling you where I do” she shared, as you continued to get ready.  BFF/N wanted to know more and more details but you were going to be late.

“Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t tell anyone and I can help cover you, when you go know” you were grateful for it, you said goodbye and left to go meet George.

You were sitting there for a while before he arrived.  

“Sorry I am late, Fred wouldn’t get off my case, he’s eventually going to notice” George replied, he gave you a kiss on the cheek then plopped down beside you.

“You can tell him if you think that’s okay,” you said.

“I think I will if you are really okay with that,��� he asked

“Well, thanks to you, BFF/N knows” you pulled down your shirt revealing one of the love bites he had left.  George's face went the same colour as his hair.

“Uh, Sorry” he was smiling a bit pleased with himself but then he caught on.

“She won’t tell anyone” you reassured.

George relaxed, laying his head down on your lap,

“I thought we were going to homework” you smiled.

“I have an idea, you read and I listen” he suggested.  In Transfiguration, you had to read a few chapters of the textbook, for a quiz tomorrow so you agreed. Reading the book out loud.

George loved the sound of your voice, he could listen to you talk all day, and somehow he managed to take in every word you said and remembered it all.  You quizzed him every so often to see if he was actually listening, and he got it right, then again it might have been because you gave him a kiss every time he got a questioned right.  All in all, it was a rather productive night.  George was the first to get up, helping you up.  He quickly gave you a kiss and a hug.

“I love you” he smiled

“I love you too” you kissed him quickly then left.

The next day at breakfast, none of the Weasleys showed up, it was the same at lunch and dinner.  Maybe they went home early?.  Later that evening you were supposed to meet George again before the Christmas holidays, but he was a no-show.  You were getting worried, but who were you to ask?  BFF/N tried to reassure you but nothing she said worked.  

[ishqbaaaaz]

Ishqbaaaz - Sept 28/17 - Episode 378

Starting where we left off with Shivika

Shes laughing at his tadi

LOL hes all up on her and shes like DADI

and he went into a panic

CHAAAAND CHUPAA BADAL MEIN

FUCK ME UP THIS SONG YAS

Look like him trailing his fingers along her arm that shit is so hot

HES KISSING HER SHOULDERS

OH MY GOD GUYS

HES HOLDING HER NOW

NOW KISS HER LIKE YOU MEAN IT

SHIVAAY PLS

HES RUNNING HIS ARMS DOWN HER ARM

hes letting her bangles fall down her arm good lord this shit is hot

kissing her hands

HE PUTS HER ARMS AROUND HIM

KISSES HER HEAD

GUYS SOMEONE CALL 911 I AM HAVING A PANIC

SO MANY KISSES

IM STRUGGLING 

KISS HER SHIVAAY WE’RE SO CLOSE OH MY GOD

FUCKING DAMMIT

COCKBLOCKED BY MEDIA

arent you guys on the roof how the fuck did u hear them

LOL hes like its Shivaay Singh Oberoi’s wedding of course theyre here

especially the beautiful women

shes like wow fuck u LOL

SHES SO MAD LMAO BYE

HES LIKE I WISH I COULD DO A SWAYAMWAR

SHES SO MAD LMFAO

Shes like you ruined my mood

Hes like no matter how many women there are, im marrying you

wow fuck me uP

LMFAO THESE FANS ARE SO AWK

Who is this woman with this tattoo

Why is Khanna just the worst honestly

THEY DONT WONDER WHY THE RUG IS HEAVY?

AND WHY THERES A FUCKING HAND STICKING OUT OF IT?

OH MY GOD HOW ARE PEOPLE JUST ENTERING THE MANSION???

SHIVAAY FIRE YOUR SECURITY THEY ARE ALL AWFUL

This tattoo lady is looking for Shivaay who the fuck is this

Why is Khanna dealing with the wedding shit

babe you’re a bodyguard

Pinky is upset what is fucking new

honestly Pinky you should be thankful Shivaay is even letting you be at the functions because you are TRASH

Dadi is like its ok give him time

what the hell dadi thats some bullshit

Shivaay is using Khanna’s phone to call her and hes like sorry she doesnt have her phone

LOL HES LIKE I CAN GIVE YOUR MESSAGE TO HER

HES LIKE YOU DONT TRUST ME?

“tum pe koi bhi bharosa nahi karta” thats the truest shit omg

This tattoo lady again

ok i need a name for her whilst we know nothing about her

imma call her Ms Tattoo, just easier this way

so Ms Tattoo is creeping outside of Shivaay’s room and just barely evades him

dadi showed up and asks Shivaay to do this one thing she asks him

The functions have begun

Dadi hired Badshah for the haldi lmaoo what

this is the shit they filmed like a month ago when Annika was marrying Vikram LOL and theyre finally airing it??

and here walk in the OBros

why do they always enter together

this is Shivaay’s wedding lmao

hes in the same outfit he wore on Holi

which i dont mind because it was hot as fuck

Shivaay is clearly looking around for Annika

and here my queen has arrived

WHO ARE THESE GIRLS WITH ANNIKA

WHERE IS CHANDA ISNT SHE HER BEST FRIEND

#BringBackChanda2K17

she is also wearing the outfit she wore on Holi

ok but arent they rich cant they spring for new outfits

look at Sahil lookin like SSO Jr.

Dadi keeps covering Shivaay so he cant see omg amazing

Shivaay’s like wtf i wanna see Annika

Abhay’s like she looks BALLER

Shivaay is salty haha

Abhay goes to get the haldi

Om is like have you noticed that Abhay is doing all the kaam bhag bhag ke?

What is your issue Omkara, maybe hes just a helpful person

God forbid you go to help lmao

Theyre like why is he trying to be Raj from DDLJ

LMAO THEYRE MAKING FUN OF HOW RAJ TALKED B Y E

thats so rude lmaooo

OmRu wanna be the first to put the haldi on Shivaay

dadi is like no the first haq is the mother’s

Shivaay looks like hes not having it

oh this is the thing dadi is like do this one thing for me

hes gonna let Pinky put haldi on him

Pinky is telling her sob story

sorry bitch I still dont care and nor will I ever you fucking suck

now everyone is putting haldi on him yes pls lets move this along because i need the wedding nowwww

now its Annika’s turn

Shivaay wants to put haldi on Annika

LOL DADI IS LIKE BITCH U OK?

Shivaay needs a chill pill omg

why does Annika still call Jhavni, aunty? Shouldnt she be badi maa for her now too? 

OmRu are telling Shivaay to chill and Abhay chimes in to help the mood

HE THREW HALDI ON RUDRA

LOL WHY?

Rudra throws haldi at Abhay but hits Omki instead

LMFAO SHIVAAY’S FACE 

Om is so done this is amazing

Omki goes for Rudra but gets Shakti instead

SHIVAAY GOT RUDRA LOL

hes like well fuck i want in on this

Shakti gets Tej

Tej gets Jhanvi omg

What is this nasty version of lafzon ka yeh rishta

Sahil wants to join but hes feeling insecure about his leg aw my noodle

Shakti goes over to Pinky and covers her too

well shit maybe they will forgive her

but i wont 

BADSHAH IS HERE

what is this hilarious mess

I love Badshah but wtf is this

i have so many questions

why are you here

who’s idea was this

why didnt they air this before

were you promoting something

what is going on

WHY ARE THE LYRICS SHOWING UP ON THE SCREEN AS IF THIS IS YOUTUBE LETS STOP THIS PLEASE

Shivaay is using this performance has a cover to steal away Annika yas bby GET IT

Shivaay is covering her eyes and she refuses to open them

because dadi said they cant see each other before the wedding

“tumhe meri kasam” wow Shivaay thats low

Shes like fuck it fine LOL it didnt take much to convince her haha

“Kaisa lag raha hoon mein?” what a damn NERD

hes like nothing will go wrong in our lives now

can we not with the foreshadowing thank youuuuuu LET ME BE HAPPY

PINKIE PROMISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ms Tattoo is still looking for Shivaay but taps Abhay instead

Shivaay’s like whatever bad was so happen to me already happened

I HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE LAST NIGHT

damn Shivaay has 0% chill

he calls it the hardest day of his life

he brought her separately because he wanted to put haldi on her himself

OH MY GOD

ARE YA’LL ABOUT TO FUCK ME UP

YES

YES

OH MY GOD YES GIVE IT TO ME

OH MY GOD IS HE GONNA SAY I LOVE YOU

OH MY GOD IS IT HERE

OH GOD

FUCK DADIIIII

DADI WHY

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

OH MY GOD

Ms Tattoo almost made it to Shivaay who the fuck is she

dadi looking for Sahil because its time for his meds

Abhay says he’ll help

Precap: The Obros are in their BBB outfits i still dont know how i feel about them

Pinky is helping and Shivaay is not impressed lmao same

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Worth leaving your park for? Carly: fun Carly: he likes you more but its k cuz so do i Ali: nah Ali: he was so 😍 for the whole sitch I thought he might genuinely explode on sight Ali: it was fun tho, you were so good Carly: that would've been disappointing Carly: he was better than i thought hed be Carly: lads that cocky dont usually come through Carly: youre always good Ali: yeah, i'll give him that Ali: obviously overhyped himself but all lads do Ali: worth it to see my baby work it Ali: and i hope not 😉 Ali: though u can tell my Ma that, get me off the hook, like Carly: not just lads me too Carly: never seen you play someone like that before tho Carly: we gonna try this on caleb next or Carly: she scares me more than your ex but still would Carly: for you my baby Ali: how can you, you're perfect Ali: i know, crossing lads but not each other back then, babe Ali: not mad, not exactly my finest hour but wouldn't hate having met you sooner Ali: idk if it'd work on him Ali: he's not as dumb as Drew, bless him 😘 Ali: felt weird being at his house, woulda died if any of them had come back, like 😂 Ali: never mind my Ma, have you ever seen his? Carly: you're too sweet Carly: i kno cuz you wanna treat him nice like you do me Carly: not how you did drew hot as that was tho Carly: nah thats the first time ive been there & mas w sons give me space like Carly: sorry we should have brought him back to here my bad Ali: blah shut up 😏 Ali: obvs I wanna ride him too but idk Ali: gives off #loyal vibes to me so probs not a goer Ali: Well you know, had to show you what a real girl on girl on boy threesome was all about, boo Ali: nah, it added to the experience Ali: whatever it was, it wasn't boring Carly: i kno that he gives off 😍 for you Carly: & you like him Carly: catch you in his room collecting hair or w ever to put a spell on the boy Carly: when you could just do it the easy way Carly: aw never boring when im w you girl Carly: youve shown me a lot Ali: There's definitely attraction but I don't really know him Ali: Only see some people at parties, he's one of 'em Ali: like you said, we didn't properly SEE each other 'til now, did we? same kinda vibe Ali: my rep proceeds me 💀 Ali: where's the fun in easy? Ali: besides, I'm with you, and you're so fucking cute Ali: who else I need Carly: k but if you want him to see you you've gotta get out there Carly: if you can turn me you can make him forget your rep Carly: got the magic baby you kno Carly: you're cuter Carly: making me blush Ali: you're right Ali: work on being MORE extra Ali: the world ain't ready 😉 Carly: me either Carly: you're also so hot Carly: unfair Carly: if you get more Ali: baby Ali: making me miss you already Ali: that's what's unfair Carly: can i be at yours later tho Carly: my parents are fighting about me & think idk Carly: bitch its a caravan Ali: That's fun Ali: about parenting styles or? Ali: Of course you can Ali: I share a room with Ro though remember, so, best behaviour Carly: ha Carly: theyve got no flair Carly: about to throw this washing up bowl at my ma as my contribution to the convo Carly: shit i forgot Carly: maybe i shouldnt come over then Ali: trying to think of a witty one-liner for when you do Ali: all i've got is 'this convo is as dull as dishwater' lemme workshop it, hold fire boo Ali: nah, please come Ali: lmao, flashbacks to Drew there but forreal Ali: we can sleep on the sofa if needs Carly: lads are so funny Carly: i thought he was gonna cry w he thought we'd changed our minds Carly: good stash tho Carly: only reason my ma still running her mouth about me Carly: well zen Ali: another night crywanking Ali: gutting Ali: yeah, and you see all that fancy shit in his room, clearly on his big badman hype Carly: cant ever bring him here Carly: never hear the end Ali: gonna have trouble keeping him away now, babe Ali: 💦 Carly: only if youre here Carly: you speak the local lingo yea? Ali: Gabh mo leithscéal? Ali: 😏 Carly: wtf Carly: you could've just said yea babe Ali: could've but i'm a showoff Carly: cant act like i dont love it now Ali: can but it'd be a blatant lie Ali: right tongue workout, Gaelic, like Carly: thatll be why you bothered & i never Carly: very gay of you Ali: odds already stacked against me being 50% scum Ali: had to do what i could, babe Carly: help me out then Carly: my da's trying to start a fight w ronan's da who dont even speak english Carly: funny or fucked that he thinks thats where i go Carly: guaranteed his da is calling me a slag while my dad does the same Carly: ha Ali: 😒 Ali: fight for your honour or gtfo Ali: So stupid Ali: want me to rock up translator cum where you've been wasting your time? Carly: i told em all ive been too busy having 3ways w you & the golden god but they aren't having it Carly: gonna have to give you all a show, am i lads that aint what you want da but its what ill do k Carly: walking away before they start kissing themselves Carly: the tension Ali: Oh, middle-aged straight men Ali: never far away from a crisis or homoerotic awakening Ali: Join the club Carly: grab another beer lads itll be alright Carly: im not knocked up or running off with your lad Carly: do wanna get out of here tho Ali: Oh he is not potential baby daddy material at all Ali: Please Ali: come over or you wanna go somewhere else Ali: think my Da is firing up the BBQ, another staple of manliness Ali: sure we can keep him from brawling and strictly on the burgers tho Carly: who is Carly: get me on the ferry before you get me down the aisle Carly: k im walking Carly: keep me company babe Ali: valid Ali: benefits of being a gay is no awkward hush hush trips to England Ali: of course Carly: if only my parents believed i like you Carly: get back to slagging me off for other shit Carly: irish at me again. i liked it Ali: Bit offended, like, have you seen me guys? I'm a sensation Carly: i dont think they know who you are sorry Ali: Tá tuillte agat ar fud an domhain, Carly Walsh Ali: at least I can dramatically ask 'em then and really fucking mean my shock horror Carly: if you don't live on site you don't exist Carly: do i need to be offended at what you're saying about me in that gay tongue twister Ali: everyone got their own bubble Ali: i found out the world extends beyond the end of my street tho but you do you lads, it is easier that way Ali: tho not safer, ask ginge 😈 Ali: i hope not Ali: was nice, promise Carly: i wanna see more of it than this Carly: like you said wheres the fun in easy Carly: shit yea shes your ronan like Carly: she gonna show herself at the bbq Carly: i believe you, you don't kno how to be anything else to me even if you should Ali: You will Ali: Make sure of it Ali: I've shown you the stars, gonna show you the wonders on this world too, scout's honour Ali: omg, so is Ali: although she doesn't occasionally come by when she's horny Ali: so we're safe Ali: she'd never trust me serving her a bevvy, like 🧙‍♀️ #witchesbrew Ali: why should I? don't be telling me what to do woman 😜 Carly: maybe she should Carly: she might be less sad and mad once she's had a ride w you Carly: you gonna play like you don't like it now Carly: just in the bedroom k hear you Ali: I'll put it out there Ali: get ready to cover my bruises this time Ali: 😏 Ali: time and a place, baby Carly: if you're showing her what real magic is she can't be mad Carly: but if she is she can go through me i got you girl Carly: wont beat me a second time like Ali: my lil million dollar baby Ali: into it Carly: your sister would be too Carly: not in the same way but would get her on side Ali: she's so on side Ali: now she knows you ain't tryna be my bosom bud like that Carly: she still dont vibe w me tho Carly: i kno it wasnt just that Ali: she's just shy, don't worry Ali: no one out here you need to impress but me and i already am Carly: what about your ma and da Carly: i kno they arent shy Carly: how do you want me to play that Ali: just be you you don't gotta do anything more or less baby Carly: im scared Ali: you don't have to be, I swear, Ma's not as bad as she 👀 and my Da's a big softie Ali: you can just come as my friend, they aren't gonna pry Carly: k Carly: i trust you Carly: itll be fun yea Ali: s2g Ali: you can meet Tommo, you'll like him Ali: and your fave will be dying for your attention, obvs Carly: mystery boy Carly: is he hot like your other brothers Ali: i'm not gonna confirm or deny 'cos bit weird Ali: also potentially rude if I nah it 'cos I reckon he ain't your type Ali: I cannot promise hot brothers making an appearance but you might get 🍀 Carly: hot sister then Carly: I dont mean my fangirl but the older one Ali: package deal with the freckly one Ali: not rock, weirddd Ali: but see, so ready with the compliments they're gonna 💚 u Carly: he's hot too Carly: & you kno i think the littlest is such a cutie Carly: but i dont wanna compliment anyone but you Ali: I'm not gonna complain about that Carly: better not cuz im almost at yours Carly: its too hot to turn around & walk back Ali: yay! Ali: lemme come get you Ali: i wanna kiss you before we have to be social Carly: i want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it Ali: might just take you up on that Carly: do cuz it means i can too Ali: deal 💚

[joannawillshrink]

shower thoughts

only this is a thought coming up while watching a Dr Who special called the end of the world part two. 

Which I think is a humorous title. End of the world, PART TWO. anyway

The Master character is the baddie and he has a drumming in his head, constantly, driving him crazy. The Doctor says he could help. And the Master replies in a misty voice, “I dont know what I’d be, without that noise.”

Made me immediately think about myself and current life, without my Mom. Like when people lose someone close to them, common advice or like, motivational talk is “go make them proud” and whatnot. And I’m thinking, I wonder if she can see me and see what I’ve become. So bored and depressed and stagnant, different. Because I really do feel very very different. I’m changed. And I dont like it. 

But I then went on to think about myself in a break up. How I want the other person to miss me. How I, in a twisted way, think its kindof flattering when someone is fucked up after losing me. Which is partially why I’m having a hard time knowing Jesse is fine and has moved on. Because I want to be mourned more. I want to have more visibly affected him. 

And I wonder if, and I’m not saying that my Mom is in any way twisted, or thinking maliciously... this is just my weird thought trail, 

But like, if I died and my family were really “fine” quite quickly afterwards, I feel like I’d be a bit bothered! Is that so immature of me? Like of course I’d want them to be functioning and get out there and do their thing, but not like... too soon! I guess everybody copes differently... I feel very out of touch with what other peoples’ lives are actually like. But just, I feel like my world is much more shattered than I was ready for. But is that my fault? For not “getting over it” faster? But Mom was everything, beyond words of worth or value, her love was like gravity. And it was August 9th, 2015 when it happened. Wow, I just had to look up the year. I guess its been longer than I thought? I dont know. I just feel like my processors are broken. 

Anyways. I feel like I have so much to unpack about this. “I dont know who I’d be without that noise.” Like, I am now a girl without her Mom. I am Joanna without my Mom. And I dont know who I am. I held on to what I thought was normal, with my relationship with Jesse. But now that ending obliterated the false bonds I had convinced myself were working. The phantom ties. 

Theyre gone, and I feel untethered. More purposeless than ever. 

When I didnt know who I was before, I leaned against trying to be a good daughter. That was a wall of my definition of self. But now that wall is gone, with her. I still want to be a good daughter, but showing up for her and having her love and friendship is gone. I know the tra-la-la “she’s always with you” but I mean, in real-time, its gone. 

And its like, a break up. If you get over it too easily, it kindof seems like it wasnt that big of a deal to you. 

But unconditional love is different, right?

I dont even think I know what unconditional love means. I dont think humans are that perfect. I dont think its genuinely possible to unconditionally love someone. 

I find it hard to believe that Jesse cared for me that way. I dont think he thinks of me, I think he nothings me. You know? When its like, I dont like you, but I dont dislike you. I nothing you. 

I wish I nothing’ed him. I dislike him right now. I dont want bad luck to befall him, but I wish I didnt have to witness his happiness. Because I’m jealous. I want to be happy. When I’m upset and other people are happy I feel like theyre bragging about it, rubbing it in my face. Especially when its a partner or friend, and especially especially when its an Ex. 

I used to fear talking to my mom on the phone because if I was sad and needed help or support, she was always more sad. Sadder. And needed MY help. Or if I was happy, and wanted to share it, I was afraid it would sound braggy or she’d feel lesser-than compared to what I had going on. Like, at the beginnings of things with Jesse, I’d mention a detail about kissing or holding hands or something, and she’d get weird about it and throw in some comment about “I wish your father still kissed me” or “goodness, I miss that”  or something. 

I worry thats rubbed off onto me. If I’m upset, like, deeply bothered, I dont want other people around me to be good at walking away. I want to be seen, and to effect others. If I’m crying I want someone else’s mood to change if they see me or hear my story. I want to be respected for enduring the things that are happening. I feel like when people hear a sad personal tale or listen to what youre feeling at the moment, and get up at the end and are fine and just walk away, its incredibly rude and unfeeling and gross. Offensive, even. Maybe thats playing too much of the victim. 

The lawyer in me immediately says “stop wasting your energy trying to get other people to be sad like you, to see you for how sad you are, and use that energy to do something about your own sadness” 

but if youre sad, and just put in the energy to make it go away, is that fixing it? or just ignoring it? 

is ignoring pain the secret to success? just, get on with it? never let it catch up to you?

I wonder if thats everyones suppressed secret. That they ARE in pain, but just running from it. 

I want to be heard and to share my story before I can move on from it. Its like airing out a ghost. Giving it its proper attention and respect so its existence is justified, giving it love, really. I want even the sad parts to be loved. 

So when someone just gets up and walks away unphased from a story I’m explaining, I dont feel love or connection or anything at all. It almost adds to the pain itself. Setting it further back down the hill with even more to climb to escape. 

I stay in bed a lot. I’m not sure how to air out being upset about my ex Jesse. I want to run my mouth about the shit he was in our relationship. I was lousy too, but different. Definitely no saint, but I understand the quiet spectrum in the motivation of cheaters. Not all cheaters. But I get why some do what they do. Because I seeked out attention from other men, men from my past, because I needed more, but didnt want to give up what could maybe be built with Jesse. I was scared to lose the potential of him. But he behaved so coldly, often cruelly emotionally to me, both in obvious but also very quiet subtle ways, that I needed to be around the energy of men who knew me before all that. Old friends who knew my sparkle. Because I needed to remember it, myself. I wished and wished and wished Jesse saw my sparkle, at the beginning of our relationship I thought he did. Which is why I decided to move to his city from my own, and really give it a try. 

But I felt like just another hobby in his life, another thing that needed his precious time. I felt juggled between work, his band, and his motorcycle. Literally, if I saw his eyes light up because he ordered another guitar pedal or motorcycle part, I knew it meant less time/money/enthusiasm for me or our time together. This literally happened, time and time again. 

And after losing the one person in my life who I knew I was their everything, 

I needed to be loved more. I needed to be loved more than a new amplifier. I needed to have someone look at me and get excited like they would when something new would arrive from Amazon. 

I needed to be appreciated for more than just when I was game to have sex. 

I needed to have my sparkle be seen and fanned. 

So I diminished, and I felt, after a while, that he didnt deserve me. That he didnt deserve my best. So when I traveled or was around old flames or friends who I knew understood me and made me feel great just being me, I gave THEM my best. Which, in black and white on paper, is cheating, and isnt cool. 

But my heart needed it. I shouldve broken up with Jesse so much sooner than I did. 

But now, we ARE broken up, and I’m super fucked up about it still. I’m glad we’re not together, but in a way like...  he treated me this way when we WERE together. Indifferent, not seeing how special I am. How great we could be. 

So its like... I guess he’s acting exactly the same. It hurt this much within the relationship, too... but when we were together at least I could yell at him about it. It felt good to yell at somebody for what hurts. His lack of attention still hurts, but now I have no right to get into a fight with him about it. 

Its all to be expected. His behavior. He left his wife to be with me. Someone of 8 fucking years. And he never talked about her really. So why should I be surprised that he doesnt talk about me, or miss me, or seem forlorn. He didnt seem forlorn for her. He was barely single. He wasnt single. He jumped right from her to me. And now he’s very shortly on to the next. I really shouldnt be surprised. 

It would be easier if he wasnt so entrenched in all the people I know. 

Theres always a risk of seeing him out. I wish I was more mature about this. But honestly I’d feel the same even if we were just friends from the start. Its like seeing someone you just simply dont like, regardless of context. If someones a jerk, you dont want them to be where you are. 

I may leave Austin. Its weird, being trapped by comfort. My house is pretty good. Like, the shape of the house itself is cute. Theres a porch. Theres a patio, and a coffee shop across the street. 

But I dont feel happy here. I have no idea where I’d go. But I’m sick of living in a pot house. EEEVery day its bowl bong weed pot cough cough sneeze laugh lame joke bong bong lame joke bad pun leaving dishes fucking everywhere hoarding objects and never using them leaving dirt and coats and shoes and opened mail and bullshit all over the place. 

I feel like I cant bitch because I dont have a job. I’m lazing around sleeping 80% of the day because... of what? Because of sadness, because I dont really want to go out there. I dont want to interact with my roommates who I find annoying. I dont want to take a walk around the neighborhood that I think its pretty boring. I dont want to go to bars and feel less than my past self. Fatter. Older. Uglier. I dont want to go feel my inadequacy proven right. Jesse treated me that way. I moved here five months after my Mom died. Brand new city. 

And I didnt get a job. I didnt do a whole lot of anything. And he hated me for it. He didnt understand and it leaked in. It absolutely showed. 

So now its February 2018. So many months have passed. And I’m still not doing anything. I just dont want to. I dont know where to get a job here, I dont want to commit my time to something that doesnt feel like anything. I want to exercise but it requires a 15 minute drive to get there. I want to cook but our kitchen is so fucking cluttered it drives me nuts. 

Am I too uptight? Like, is this coming off like I cant function unless somethings perfect? 

Im sure it sounds that way... I just... feel no spark. When my new roommate cleaned the bathroom and had music going and was doing the shit I normally do, I felt so pleased and relatable, it was marvelous. But then other two roommates come home and toss their coats all over and smoke weed and plop down watching stupid shows, and it just.. 

Should I try to be more of a leader? Force my way through it and burn my own trail? If theyre watching dumb shit, suggest something better? Take an active interest in life?

I definitely have been passive. I want other people to be interesting. I want to be intrigued by someone’s starting something. Somebody to already have the breadcrumbs laid down and I get to follow them and add to the adventure. I dont know if I have the energy to take the risk of being bold and leading the way, not knowing the caliber of people I’m talking to or bringing with me. Like, I want to spend energy being great around someone I already think is great. I miss having crushes. If I think someone is awesome, I feel like I then get to be super awesome too, in hopes that showing my favorite self, enjoying my own shine... that they’ll notice and enjoy it too. 

But like, why shine for boring people? I dont have any interest in that. I dont want to impress people that dont impress me. 

That sounds super bitchy but whatever. 

Anyways. I’m way off track. 

I just remembered that I need to call my Aunt Carol, who I think is mad at me, because she retired today and I’m overdue to call her. I really dont want to but it needs to be done. Calling a family member that you know is disappointed in you is NEVER fun. I feel the weight on my chest already. Okay, gonna call her. I’ll write again soon.