#it should have been sung by a boyband

[bisexualstruggles]

so i was tagged by @pulledrounder to post 5 songs i have on repeat at the moment, which truly is tag which comes at the right time, so ehm get ready for the most bland male dominated pop list in a long time, i am on a kick...

Ed Sheeran - Shivers

Jackson Wang - Cruel

Lloyd - Dedication to my Ex

Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)

Frank Ocean - Lost

i know that i dig my own grave by being defensive, but i feel the need. anyway other people @chaotic-gay-is-my-alignment, @panarchie, @miezkind, @yugocar, @awordwasthebeginning, @ivarthebadbitch, @ymbarel

[manawari]

Solo Leveling Boyband AU!

- a famous boyband in South Korea emerged called 'ARISE' which was composed of five members, each having their own background before making a mark in the industry for their brilliant talents and amazing charisma when entertaining their fans throughout their concerts. The group's personal lives were protected heavily by their agency, so they wouldn't have to be worry about anything as long as they were being careful by themselves. Who was this boyband? What made the fans so engrossed in them?

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• MEMBERS

→ before rising into fame, Lim Tae-gyu was an aspiring tennis athlete. Because of his love for the sport, he gained a scholarship to one of the country's best universities despite coming from a family who couldn't afford a lot, but that didn't matter to him. His family was his inspiration.

→ however, getting into such a nice college didn't mean he would have a great life. Tae-gyu was constantly looked down by other students because of his background, whereas most of the pupils there were children of businessmen and rich people. He may have done well in his grades, but the mockery never stopped.

→ Lee Min-sung was his least favorite person. Min-sung would frequently brag him how popular he was and would become a part of the acting industry once he graduated. Tae-gyu was forced to listen to his ramblings, along with the teasing that put him down. But Tae-gyu was not raised to be weak. He promised himself that just because he came from a "poor" family, didn't mean his future would end.

→ one night, after a stressful day at finding a job, Tae-gyu decided to hit the karaoke to release some pressure. Unbeknownst to him, someone from the entertainment industry was hearing his voice and had become amused by his voice, so once Tae-gyu got out of the room, the agent approached him and offered him a card where it contained a logo and its name beneath it. Before he could ask, the agent left right away.

→ Tae-gyu ended up going to the location and asked the guard in the entrance. He was led to a hallway which had quite a long line of young men. Usually, he'd leave if there were too many people, but he decided to stay anyway because he thought he should give it a shot.

→ singing was not precisely his forte, rather it was just his hobby if he was feeling stressed. When the directors asked him to perform, Tae-gyu started singing.

→ even though he was not practically expecting any results, Tae-gyu passed.

→ and by passed, it meant he was now an official member of an upcoming idol group. The first member. So now, all he had to do was wait for the remaining four places to be completed.

→ Tae-gyu genuinely didn't know what to feel. Him? A star? Definitely not in his bucket list.

→ nonetheless, it made his family happy and proud of him anyway.

→ when he received a call that all members had been completed, Tae-gyu made his way to the building where he would meet his fellow rising idols.

→ for the first time, he felt quite nervous. Would these people like him? Would he like these people? Regardless of the feeling, Tae-gyu put up his best impression and that was being himself.

→ surprisingly, he got along with everyone well. Their rehearsals together eventually formed a strong friendship. They looked out for one another and supported one another in their success as a boyband.

→ in their group, Tae-gyu saw himself as the funniest one out of them all — regardless of how much Jong-in complained, he shrugged it off and continued as long as fans were being entertained.

→ oh, remember when Lee Min-sung kept mocking him in college? He was in utter bewilderment upon learning that Tae-gyu's popularity was bigger than his. So, he tried to embarrass him in public, which only backfired after Tae-gyu twisted the situation that it led to the media sharing complex opinions on the movie star.

→ Tae-gyu occasionally shared his covers of various songs in his social media, mostly acapellas where he was found next to a window that showed a beautiful sight of the sky.

→ Choi Jong-in was the only child of a well-known businessman in South Korea. However, his heart was connected to music. As a child, he would perform in the stage of his school where he presented his voice to the audience.

→ his father, on the other hand, had not bat na eye on the talent little Jong-in had. He saw it as a way to get good grades, which was why he was proud, not realizing it was the passion that had driven his child.

→ Jong-in was confident. He was determined and was never afraid of speaking out. So when he revealed to his father that he wished to be a singer, his father laughed and saw it as a joke because Jong-in's future was already planned and that was to take on the business one day, not standing in front of people to sing. It crushed his spirits, Jong-in thought of giving up since his dad wouldn't listen to him, but his mother. . . She believed otherwise.

→ his mother believed in him and appreciated his talent. She was supportive and wished to see him perform in the future, but unfortunately, cancer spread throughout her body and Jong-in had to see her lay in bed, knowing there was nothing the doctors could do to cure her illness. But his mother left him her last words and that was to pursue his dream no matter what.

→ and he did. After having a fight with his father, Jong-in packed his things and left the house. He spent his days in a hotel with the secret bank account he had where his father could not control.

→ starting his journey toward his dream was difficult. But Jong-in was not going to let the hardship bring him down. He must pursue it in honor of his beloved mother.

→ a week of living alone and searching for auditions, Jong-in found a website that was open for new "stars" and instantly clicked it where he saw a form he must fill and emails he could reach out to. After filling the form, he waited for a call.

→ a call came a day later and Jong-in was told he must go to a specific location where he would be trying out. Jong-in put on his best decent look. The guard brought him to a room where a narrow table of directors awaited for him to begin.

→ taking a deep breath, Jong-in started singing.

→ he had experimented his voice in various range, from soft to rapping. The day before the audition, he had looked for a song that also had a rap for him to show how far he could go in his vocal.

→ awed by his performance, Jong-in was quickly accepted. His mother was the first person he thanked for being by his side even when she was not physically there.

→ when he met the rest of the members of the group, he liked them. Except for Yoon-ho, who was the person he constantly argued with that the two ended up being the group's main rappers.

→ he hardly posted anything on social media, and that include capturing himself singing, but that only happened if he was all by himself. Jong-in preferred to upload videos if he was singing with his friends.

→ besides his voice, the fans loved him because of how he always stand out even when the band was wearing the same clothes. His professional-like demeanor and how well he knew his words made them grow fond of him. During fan meetings, he never failed to charm the fans even in his short answers.

→ he liked to fool around sometimes. When his manager thought he was the only "matured" one out of the group, Jong-in proved otherwise. If he learned that one of his friends was getting hate, he would create a fake account to defend his friend until he drove the hater into silence.

→ Jong-in was that one celebrity no one must argue with. He could even expose proofs and walk out like it was nothing.

→ Baek Yoon-ho was someone who refuse to believe he had such a talent.

→ wanted to become a firefighter, but after getting injured, Yoon-ho became unemployed. His family lived outside the country without him because he told them that he could live on his own and promised them that he would have a successful life with a stable job.

→ hadn't contacted his family in months because he didn't want to let them know that he became a failure. He didn't get to finish college either, so that was another thing he was ashamed of.

→ one day, when he was listening to a song in the park, Yoon-ho began to sing along with it. And unbeknownst to him, someone had taken a video of it and posted it on the internet. But since he hardly checked his socials, he wasn't aware of it.

→ that was until he got a call on six in the morning. Yoon-ho hurriedly picked it up, thinking it must be one of the jobs he had applied to, but the call was against his expectations. The caller came from the entertainment industry and wished to meet him.

→ even in his shocked state, Yoon-ho still managed to go to the building he was led to. There was a huge line in the hallway, but he was directed to the room the line was for and was met with plenty of people.

→ when he asked them what was the reason he came for, one of the directors showed him a video where he was caught singing. They said that his voice was amazing and wished to hear it one more time.

→ even though he was still confused, Yoon-ho obliged and sang them the same song. Then, they requested him to sing a different one, and that different one led him into being accepted into the group.

→ Yoon-ho had no idea what just happened to him.

→ but here he was. . . An official member to an upcoming group whose aim was to rise in the entertainment's fame. He decided to keep it as a secret from his family in the states. Eventually, Yoon-ho had come in terms with his new life and had gotten to meet his fellow members.

→ Byung-gyu was the person he was closest to. Mostly because they had gone to the same school in elementary and didn't expect to see him to become a star as well.

→ Yoon-ho was well-known and loved for his rap and the way he could turn his voice low, which made the band's songs become hit.

→ when he was not busy with his fame, Yoon-ho would head to the gym and work out like he always did, not wanting to lose his physique. And because of this, his body became an advantage to the concerts where fans would squeal at the sight of his muscles even when he wore sleeves.

→ nicknamed as "White Tiger" because of his username (whitetigerking47) across all platforms, which was too late for him to change now that he was well-known.

→ he often received tiger plushies as gifts. His friends made fun of him to no end.

→ just like his friends, Sung Jin-woo started from nothing. He had a low self-esteem toward his voice, and even though he liked to sing, he preferred to do it in private. Ill-hwang said that he got his talent from his grandfather, who used to sing a lot in bars back then, and pushed him to be confident.

→ not only he could sing, Jin-woo also liked to dance. He was the one who taught his little sister, who had to prepare for her class' presentation in her school's foundation day.

→ but as usual, his parents and little sister were the only ones who knew his talents in singing and dancing. Jin-woo was shy and was afraid of what people might think of him if he ever performed just like the ones in TV.

→ when there was an open audition around the block, Jin-ah, Ill-hwang, and Kyung-hye quickly dragged him to the building and waited for him outside. Jin-woo was the only one who had a family around in the hallway. Deep inside, he was thankful for their support and how they always encouraged him to pursue what he wanted.

→ inside of the audition room, Jin-woo failed on his first try due to his anxiety, and the directors were about to comment when he quickly convinced them to give him another chance. His family did not bring him just so he'd let himself fail. So after granting his request, Jin-woo took a deep breath and did his performance better.

→ unlike his first try, which was only a song, Jin-woo added some dance moves on his second try — which left everyone in the room speechless. They quickly accepted him when he was done.

→ when he said the news to his family, their cheers and shouts echoed throughout the hallway. Jin-ah punched him in the arm and said that she knew he could do it, Kyung-hye was almost crying in happy tears while hugging him, and Ill-hwang couldn't be prouder for his son.

→ from a shy person who would rather keep his talents to himself, Jin-woo had no idea how big his life was going to be once he performs in a stage, facing hundreds of people. So when he got summoned to the building after the employee told him that the group was completed, Jin-woo could only hope to get along with these new people.

→ when meeting Byung-gyu, Tae-gyu, Yoon-ho, and Jong-in, not only did he get along with them, Jin-woo built a strong friendship with them during their rehearsals. Being the only one who had more experience in dancing, Jin-woo helped them when their instructor was not around.

→ while he had the lowest self-esteem among them, Jin-woo didn't let it bring him down and managed to get through his performance on his group's first debut on stage. He practically collapsed when they went to the backstage.

→ as time passed, Jin-woo was becoming more and more confident. He managed to steal many of the fans' hearts and because of his handsome looks, they had gone crazy for him. Jin-woo even received requests from modeling agencies, but he refused them, saying that he loved who he was now and wouldn't trade his career over anything, and despite they told him that he could do both, Jin-woo was just not fond of the idea and he never would.

→ known as the most mischievous in the group. During fan meetings, Jin-woo always pulled pranks on his friends. And even in their shared home, he never stopped fooling around whenever he had an idea.

→ played video games and often rivaled Byung-gyu if they were not in the same team.

→ mostly appeared wearing black. It had somewhat become Jin-woo's signature color.

→ rumored to be dating Cha Hae-in, who was a famous athlete in the country. He quickly debunked those rumors and said that they were just close friends and he didn't have any feelings for her — or did he?

→ unlike Yoon-ho, who was used to fans seeing his muscles, Jin-woo was not. One time, he wore a sleeveless clothing during his performance, it made fans "thirsty" for him so much that he got terrified and begged the designer to no longer make him wear tank tops.

→ he never replied to his fans' messages, reasoning that if he answered one message, he would have to answer every single one. Jin-woo only posted announcements, hilarious pictures of his friends that he liked to share, random statements that only few seemed to understand, and most of the time, he was found commenting on his friends' posts. Even his manager if he was in the mood to be annoying.

→ Jin-woo also helped Byung-gyu in writing songs.

→ once leaked his group's upcoming song, Jin-woo got banned from posting anything for a month.

→ even though he was not necessarily active in posting on social media, Jin-woo would upload short (30 seconds) dance covers/dance moves he had created from one of ARISE's songs, though he never showed his face. Rather, he was shown wearing a black cap, a black facemask, a plain shirt, and a pair of dark jeans.

→ Min Byung-gyu posted acoustic covers in the social media accounts he had. That was the only way for him to gain money even though he had no job. His parents died due to a car accident and he was the only one who survived, which led him to be under his grandmother's care.

→ moving on from their deaths was hard for him. They even didn't make it to his graduation, so he was left staring at the two empty seats next to his grandmother where his mom and dad were supposed to be there. His heart ached every time he thought of them. As a result, he didn't get to go out as often as he used to be.

→ music was the only coping mechanism he had. The poems he wrote for his deceased parents became lyrics. They knew that he loved to sing, which was why he always had his guitar — they had given it to him in his birthday. So whenever he posted an original song, its vibe was always different because it was dedicated to someone whom he dearly loved.

→ Byung-gyu also loved history, and he aimed to be a history teacher until he received a mysterious call out of the blue. It was an agent from the entertainment industry. The caller told him that the company loved his covers and originals and wished to meet him at the building. He was shocked, of course. He didn't expect that his songs would go that far.

→ nonetheless, he accepted the offer and left his province to journey to Seoul where his life would change forever. When he saw the line for the audition, Byung-gyu was about to join them when the employee brought him to somewhere else and that was none other than the office of the company's owner, Go Gun-hee.

→ Go Gun-hee praised him for his beautiful voice and admitted that some of his original songs made him tear up. The old man said that it reminded him of his deceased daughter. Byung-gyu's heart ached for him, but Gun-hee dismissed it and said that he wished him to be a member of an upcoming group that would make a mark in the country.

→ he accepted it. Thus, he became the "missing piece" to complete the group that consisted of five members.

→ Byung-gyu got along with everyone very well and instantly became friends with them. But little did he know, that was not the only thing that had made a change in his life.

→ he finally healed from his parents' deaths. He learned to be happy instead of grieving most of the time. Tae-gyu, Jong-in, Jin-woo, and Yoon-ho were there for him and had his back whenever he needed it. Byung-gyu even overcame his fear of performing thanks to Jong-in.

→ he also had a golden retriever, who sometimes showed up in his covers, and now that he was staying in Seoul for good, he went back and took his dog, but not without telling the news to his grandma, of course. His grandmother was elated and encouraged him to continue. She reassured him that he wouldn't have to worry about her and just focus on himself; she would also be waiting for his performances in the television.

→ Byung-gyu became the band's head songwriter. His friends appreciated his work because the lyrics he had assigned to them fit their voices well.

→ some time after the band's peak popularity, Byung-gyu came home to his province to be with his grandma, but then, he had also met Lee Ju-hee, who had just moved into the small town. Needless to say, he had developed a crush on her.

→ how did he cope with it? Byung-gyu began to write songs that had a sweet romantic touch in them. The boys thought he must've become too obsessed with the period dramas he'd been watching, but they soon realized that there was a special girl who had enamored their dear songwriter's heart. Since then, they pestered Byung-gyu incessantly.

→ thanks to him and the love songs he had written, ARISE had taken a different genre. It made fans love them even more. Byung-gyu didn't know if he should blame himself because he let his feelings take over him or that his friends (including him) had been surrounded by girls who had "crazy crushes" on them during fan meetings.

→ eventually, he got to ask Ju-hee out. Thankfully, the town he lived in respected his wish for privacy and allowed him to live like a normal person instead of surrounding him like when he was in the city. Byung-gyu was the first person in the group to be in a relationship with someone, though the media would never know.

→ he still uploaded covers. And the new most popular one was his cover of "Fly Up" by Hwang Chang Young, which also featured Yoon-ho to sing the rap parts. Surprisingly, the people who had listened to his covers before his fame were still there, cheering and supporting him in the comment section. Byung-gyu couldn't be happier.

• SPECIAL INTRODUCTION •

→ the manager of ARISE.

→ more popular than the members and the band combined.

→ it was not his first time handling a celebrity, but ARISE was the longest one in his career and might as well be his permanent.

→ the "mother hen" of the boys.

→ when the band first debuted in their first song, and after introducing himself, Jin-chul received dozens of messages in his DMs. When he asked the boys if they had received messages from the audience, they looked at him and said, "I don't think we're going to receive messages when we just debuted. It takes a lot before fans desperately try and reach out." Jin-chul just nodded and freaked out from the inside, yet didn't tell them.

→ before, people hardly paid attention to him. But now, people saw him like he was a freaking celebrity.

→ he was always present in anything that involved with the group. Rehearsals, interviews (for observation in case any of the boys did something stupid), concerts, and fan meetings, he was there.

→ the boys dubbed him as their "true Asian mom" because of the way he scolded them.

→ had a list of who gave him headaches (least to most): Min Byung-gyu, Lim Tae-gyu, Baek Yoon-ho, Choi Jong-in, and Sung Jin-woo.

→ protective and made sure no information from the group's personal lives was leaked.

→ led a security team whenever there was a concert and Jin-chul had his own set of rules for the security team before letting the audience in.

→ if he didn't answer the fans' questions to him, they would try and learn about him through sending their questions to the interviews where the group had to deal with hearing questions about their manager. It mortified Jin-chul to no end.

→ had the group to surround him when walking out of the airport because the fans there had boards with his name and kept shouting for him and him only.

→ he once hosted the band's concert, broke the internet that lasted for months.

→ one time, the boys wore suits and sunglasses to act as bodyguards (also to seal their identities) whenever he was out. Jin-chul had to fight the urge to hit their heads.

→ made fun of Jin-woo after learning that his little sister, Jin-ah, preferred the manager over her own brother.

→ became the babysitter of Byung-gyu's dog.

→ the boys gave him gifts on mother's day. Jin-chul didn't know whether to cry or start their funeral.

→ despite being stressed, Jin-chul managed to keep himself together and didn't admit that he was stressed because due to his looks, nobody would believe him — even the members themselves.

→ "finally, I can rest—" "Jin-woo leaked something in social media again."

[zot3-flopped]

Lol you would think 1D was hugely known as a great prolific song writing boyband 😭 no one has ever said “ya wow one direction song writing is superb!” I got no clue why Louis cares THAAAT much about it but you got to remember that is his only contribution to that band since that man can not sing and barely sung LOL

He should never have been paid the same as the three lead vocalists.

[shinsorokiri]

UA Idol | Chapter Eleven

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 4,209

Warnings: Language, big nerves

A/N: IT’S THE FIRST DAMN CHALLENGE! There are two more and I low key may have just introduced all the other supporting characters in the story so 👀 I hope you enjoy this one. It took a while to write because of the length and also. the fact that it’s welcome week at my college and I work at a bookstore (RIP). I’ve been working so much, and not to mention the homework I’m getting for classes (DOUBLE RIP). But yeah, I hope this chapter is to your liking, and I will make a song list for everyone under the chapter! I do recommend listening to the version of Halsey’s Graveyard stripped because that was a game changer for that song for me. I listen to that one more than the original HAHA. Anyways, enjoy!

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Sitting through the pop singers did not calm your nerves in the slightest. You already knew Mina and Denki were really good, but you soon found out that they weren’t the only ones. Especially when you heard Kirishima. He took Denki’s advice, and decided to sing Golden by Harry Styles. And to say you were impressed with the only acoustic version of one of Harry’s most hype songs was an understatement. And his voice was crazy good, and contrary to what he’d said previously you bet he could join Katsuki in singing rock songs. You’d have to tell him that later. “You know, this is only making me feel worse,” you say to Shinsou. All of the pop singers had finished their genre challenge performances and were waiting backstage to come out in lines and be told if they made it to the next part of Hell Week. The judges were currently speaking in hushed voices and choosing who would go through, and who would not go through. “You and me both. But you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You’re still better than everyone else who’s gone up there so far,” Shinsou whispers the last part to you, and you can’t help but smile. “Same to you, loser. Now, what did you think of everyone?”

“Denki and Mina killed it, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“Now as for Kirishima, I was pleasantly surprised. I knew he was already a loud guy, so hearing him go from straight belting at times to a small little falsetto was very interesting and very nice to the ear.”

“Yeah, not to mention his range is amazing.”

“Right? It was insane. Oh, and another person who stood out was the guy with the silver hair who kind of sounded like Kirishima. He was very similar to him, and he even sang Adore You.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too. It’s kind of funny, they were like almost the exact same person. You know who caught my eye?”

“Who?”

“That blonde girl. You can tell she’s a little… wild. Especially with her song pick, I never expected anyone in a million years to ever sing a Chainsmokers song, especially Don’t Let Me Down, with only a piano backing them.”

“Yeah, that caught me off guard, gonna be honest. She did have a lot of energy and her voice was really good though. Fits that genre of singers, so I bet she’ll get through. She can also move, which is always a perk for performers. But, do you know what I just can’t get over?”

“The fact that we had to leave our cats with cat sitters?”

“Well, yes, thank you so much for reminding me of that, but also how absolutely wholesome the kid with the green hair was. Not gonna lie, it kind of made me want to die. I mean, he really came in here and sang Imagine. Of all songs, Imagine by John Lennon. That is so ballsy and when Aizawa commented on how ballsy it was this fucker answers with, ‘I didn’t choose it because it was popular, I chose it because I believe that someday we can achieve that level of peace.’ What the fuck.” You laugh at his disbelief before nodding your head. “I totally agree. That was low-key hilarious though, Aizawa just sighed and Toshinori almost squealed because he loved that answer. It was like he was in a pageant and answering the world peace question. Wait, hold on, speaking of ballsy, what about the blonde guy who looks like he could be a part of a boyband singing Africa by Toto.”

“I know! He pulled a meme, I literally had to reach over and grab your arm to keep from fucking screaming. I mean, I know pretty much everyone else did, but I need to keep up my little mysterious façade I’ve got going on here.”

“I mean, you just don’t show emotions like that, but yeah. You’re just too mysterious.”

“Shut up. I am mysterious. Almost as mysterious as that girl with the short hair and long bangs who looks like a literal cinnamon roll and then came in belting I Will Always Love You.”

“You could only dream of being that mysterious sir,” you tease him, and he rolls his eyes, but his smile deceives him. He went to fire something back, only to be told by all the producers that everyone had to quiet down again because the judges had made their decisions. You and Shinsou both nervously watched as they turned away about half of the pop singers that were there, and you two nearly broke each other’s hands when Denki and Mina showed up on the stage. “Oh, they are definitely getting through, look at who they’re with,” Shinsou whispers in your ear, and you look at the rest of the line-up. Kirishima and all the other acts you and Shinsou had just discussed were all in a line onstage. Sure enough, they all made it through to the next round.

“Knew that would happen,” Shinsou says and you nod. “So, who’s up next?”

“Country. But there’s only a few of them,” Shinsou says, and you lean back in your chair. “I wonder how many of these guys will make me feel incompetent,” you say, and Shinsou snorts. “None of them should, doesn’t matter how talented someone else is, it doesn’t lessen yours in the slightest.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” you say, grinning while poking his arm. He smiles at you and shrugs. “I try, kitten.” You both see Mina, Denki, and Kirishima walking back to their seats in the pop genre section and give them a thumbs up. They all look actually ecstatic and return the positive hand gestures. “How much do you wanna bet Denki and Mina will wanna go out for celebratory drinks after this?” you ask Shinsou and he groans. “Shit, you’re right.”

“How about we feign sickness and have them go and we just, you know, stay at the hotel,” you suggest, and he gives you a side eye. “Yeah, like they’ll fall for that.” He has a fair point, and you sigh. Maybe if you get through the first round you’ll be up for it. As long as Shinsou will be there, it won’t be too bad.

The country genre starts up and everyone in the category jumps right into the southern swing. There aren’t nearly as many as the pop category, which is odd. There truly aren’t a lot of country singers in this competition, now that you think about it. To be fair, when live shows come around, it’s very intense and since the majority of the singers in the competition are pop singers, country can definitely get lost in the mix. Oh well, the singers who are going are actually really good, so maybe this year it’ll change up a bit. One of the country singers who really caught your eye was this little short girl with long dark green dyed hair. She had this cute little bow pulling it back and had this little southern charm, but her style was more of a mix of country and singer-songwriter you noticed. Not all of the words she sang had that good ‘ol country twang to them, but it was still there. It could have been the song choice of making Before He Cheats into an acoustic (she played her own black acoustic guitar decorated with cute frog stickers), but you’d have to see more of her to be completely sure. She was really really good, though. And sure enough, she made it to the next round.

Up next is rock. You look over to see Bakugou with a stone cold unmoving resting bitch face. From what you know from the guy, this was normal. “If his singing is anything like his yelling, he’s one hell of a rockstar,” Shinsou says to you, which causes you to laugh. He was right, his screaming was pretty loud, gritty, and impressive, so that statement was true. And his singing was similar to that style as well. Even though he did a low-key song by a rock band, Good Riddance by Green Day, he still managed to get that rocker vibe with it. It was probably because of how angrily he played his guitar. That poor guitar. He wasn’t the only rock singer that really stood out though. “I’m not trying to judge because I know I look like a pretty miserable and intimidating guy too, but did you see that guy with the long gray hair and no will to live?” “Yeah, I saw him. Heard him, too. Didn’t realize anyone could make Disenchanted by MCR even sadder than it was already,” you say. It’s true, that guy had a really good voice, sort of similar to Gerard Way’s actually, but christ he made the song sadder than the original somehow. Then of course there was this mysterious guy who was wearing a black face mask to compliment the all black outfit paired with the multiple layered red choker and long black cardigan he was wearing. Somehow, he still sounded great and barely muffled, but it was such a weird visual. It was fitting for the genre though, and you can respect the brand. A cover of Creep sung by someone who covered half of his face was spot on for the song’s meaning. And his purple electric guitar with the symbol of a raven on it was pretty dope, you have to admit.

“Look, it’s Denki’s crush,” Shinsou says as the girl with the purple hair walked on the stage. Denki’s going for a rocker, huh? Fitting, he needs someone intense to balance out his stupid. And intense this girl was, she sang a killer rendition of That’s What You Get, and when you looked over at Denki you could have sworn his pupils turned into little hearts. Unsurprisingly, all of them got in, and Kirishima almost started crying when he realized Bakugo was through as well.

The producers then decided to combine the r&b and hip-hop genres at the last minute, making it the second largest category. But you didn’t mind sitting there and listening because, again, there were some really talented people in the categories. Especially the guy with the long black hair and infectious smile who sang Red Red Wine and absolutely and totally brought the reggae vibe. You could just tell he would sing something like that, too, the minute he got onstage wearing a drug rug and long flowy pants. You honestly dug his aesthetic and his voice, and so did Shinsou considering you both started dancing in your seats the minute the song started. To be fair, though, it’s a good fucking song. Another guy who caught your attention was a dude with a shit ton of piercings, you notices four on his ear, an eyebrow piercing, a lip piercing, and when he was singing you saw a tongue piercing too. His black hair was messy and almost completely covered his eyes, but you could just tell that he was intense. Take What You Want by Post Malone never sounded so dark and angry. They both made it to the next round.

Next thing you knew, it was your category. The smallest category. And much to your bad luck, you were the last one to audition. Luckily, Shinsou was second to last. “Think that was on purpose?” he asks you as you wait backstage. “What do you mean?”

“The judges like to be dramatic on this show. They said we were top two material in general auditions... think they made us the final two on purpose?” You hadn’t thought about that. But you have to say, it does make sense. “Huh. Wild. Guess we better pull out all the stops then.”

“Original?”

“Obviously,” you grin, and he returns it. “Well, might as well do the song I wrote based off of that old high school friend Monoma I told you about.”

“The one where he went to LA for college and wound up coming back to Japan all... different?”

“That’s the one. I feel like I need to be that poetic and mysterious guy and what better song to sing when we’re here. In LA.”

“Yeah, yeah okay Mr. Mysterious. As for me, I’ll just be sad singing about, you know, him.”

“Still warning you in advance, if I ever meet this guy, I’m literally fighting him. And I’m winning,” Shinsou says, and you can’t stop the smile that breaks out across your face. You don’t see it, but your smile causes him to smile. And then the two of you are just cheesing about each other without actually telling each other y’all are the reason for your cheesing. How cute.

Watching the other singer-songwriters do their thing was really fun for you, actually. There was a girl with a jet-black ponytail who did an amazing cover of Skinny Love. Your favorite thing about her was how creative she got with the guitar during it, she added a few new riffs and really just showed her skill with the instrument. Then there was the guy who had like absolutely no presence or personality until he started playing his guitar and singing What Do I Know by Ed Sheeran. He immediately came to life and everyone was bumping to it. His hair was also dyed half red and half white which looked really cool. And then there was the guy who had the typical nerdy indie look with his glasses and navy-blue hair. He played the piano instead of the usual guitar for his cover of Cherry Wine by Hozier and absolutely smashed it. Now none of this helped your nerves, but luckily Shinsou was there to put a brave face on for you and keep you relaxed. Then, it was finally his turn. You could tell he was nervous since he can only hide his emotions from you so much, so instead of psyching him out more, you just grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze. He’s the type of person who needs a physical reminder that everything would be okay, and so far, every time you’ve done that action with him, it’s helped calm him down faster than words could. Sure enough, it worked, and he gave you a small smile before walking out onstage. For his performance he’s playing the piano, so he walked over and sat down. “Hello again,” Midnight says, smiling at him. “What will you be singing for this challenge?” Keigo asks, and Shinsou clears his throat. “Um, I have another original for you all.” He could hear the crowd murmur and see a few people whispering to each other. No one had ever really done an original at Hell Week before. They all thought that the judges saying that in the beginning was a joke because of how intense this week could be. Well everyone except Mina and Denki of course.

“That’s great! What’s it called?” Toshinori asks. “Dying In LA.”

“I like the title. Whenever you’re ready,” Aizawa says, and Shinsou nods. He begins playing the opening, before taking a breath and singing.

“The moment you arrived they built you up;

The sun was in your eyes.

You couldn't believe it.

Riches all around, you're walking

Stars are on the ground.

You start to believe it.

Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you.

You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.

But nobody knows you now,

When you're dying in LA.

And nobody owes you now,

When you're dying in LA.

When you're dying in LA.”

People immediately started cheering the minute he did his little rocker dying thing. And he loved it. He could honestly get used to that.

“When you're dying in LA.

The power, the power, the power…

Oh, the power, the power, the power

Of LA.

Nights at the chateau;

Trapped in your sunset bungalow,

You couldn't escape it, yeah.

Drink of paradise,

They told you ‘Put your blood on ice.

You're not gonna make it.’

Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you.

You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.

But nobody knows you now,

When you're dying in LA.

And nobody owes you now,

When you're dying in LA.

When you're dying in LA.

When you're dying in LA.

The power, the power, the power…

Oh, the power, the power, the power

Of LA”

As expected, everyone was dead silent for a moment before breaking out into applause. Even the judges gave him a standing ovation. And you had to follow literally the most perfect human being and songwriter. Nice. The judges aren’t really permitted to say anything after the performance because they need to just listen to the singing and judge off of that, so Shinsou walks offstage and back over to you. “I warmed them up for you,” he says, and you snort. “Wow, thanks. Maybe next time don’t be that amazing.”

“Hmmm, that’s a tall order, kitten.”

“Yeah, my bad, can’t ask someone perfect to be less perfect.”

“You’re right about that, which is why your performance is going to be much better than mine was,” he pats your head with a grin, before shooing you onstage. You walk on, clutching your guitar as you greet the judges. “Hey chickadee, you gonna sing an original for us too?” Hawks asks, and Midnight hits his arm. “Don’t just go assuming that she also has an original prepared, what if she doesn’t? Do you know how stressed out that would make her you glorified Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel!”

“Actually, I do have an original prepared.”

“Oh, well in that case I’m excited to hear it! What’s it called?”

“Graveyard,” you respond, and Aizawa motions for you to begin whenever you’re ready. You take a deep breath before strumming away, picking at the strings of your guitar to make the melody you’d written so long ago. Then, you open your mouth.

“It's crazy when The thing you love the most is the detriment; Let that sink in. You can think again, When the hand you wanna hold is a weapon and You're nothin' but skin.

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. I keep running, I keep running, I keep running.

They say I may be making a mistake, I would've followed all the way, no matter how far. I know when you go down all your darkest roads, I would've followed all the way to the graveyard.

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. I keep running when both my feet hurt, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads I would've followed all the way to the graveyard (no, oh).

You look at me (look at me) With eyes so dark, don't know how you even see, You push right through me (push right through me). It's gettin' real. You lock the door, you're drunk at the steering wheel, And I can't conceal.

Oh, 'cause I've been diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. I keep running, I keep running, I keep running.

They say I may be making a mistake, I would've followed all the way, no matter how far. I know when you go down all your darkest roads, I would've followed all the way to the graveyard.

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. I keep running when both my feet hurt, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads, I would've followed all the way to the graveyard.

Oh, it's funny how… The warning signs can feel like they're butterflies…

Oh, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. I keep running when both my feet hurt, I won't stop 'til I get where you are. Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads, I would've followed all the way to the graveyard.”

Just like Shinsou, there was a moment of silence before everyone applauded. This was a weird feeling. You’d never really sung an original song in front of a crowd of people this big before, and you never expected to have celebrities give your original song a standing ovation. But here you were, Hell Week in UA Idol, and this feeling was honestly something you could get used to. You’re just happy people enjoyed it. You hurry offstage and go over to Shinsou who immediately encapsulates you in a hug. Huh. That’s new. You don’t hate it though. This is actually… pretty nice. He gives good hugs. And you love the lavender scent he gives off, it almost gives him a lavender hue, actually. “You did amazing, (Y/n). Better than I ever could,” he tells you with a small grin. But it doesn’t look like he’s jealous. If anything, he looks proud. Like he’s proud of you. Like you just did something that made him feel happier than anything in the world. You liked him looking at you like that. You want him to look at you like that more. “That’s a lie, you’re the best singer-songwriter I know.”

“That’s because you’ve never actually met yourself other than looking in a mirror. If you actually knew you, you’d take that statement back.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t make you blush. The producers ushered you all in a different room, allowing the judges time to talk about who was going through and who wasn’t. You and Shinsou stuck to each other like glue and tried to ignore the stares and looks at you two. That was when the guy with the navy-blue hair approached the two of you, and kind of screamed, but you could tell that he was just using his regular talking voice. “You’re both very talented! I hope one day I am able to write songs like that!”

“Hey, thanks man. I’m sure if you tried right now you could write songs like ours; everyone has the ability to write something good if they have the drive,” Shinsou tells him, and you can’t help but feel a sense of pride swell up in your chest. Shinsou was a really good person. And you were his friend. How did you get so lucky? “My name is Tenya Iida! It’s a pleasure to meet both of you, and I hope we all get through so I can talk to you both about songwriting some more,” he says, a big smile on his face as he sticks out his… very large hand. It wasn’t for a handshake or anything. The man just talks with his hands. You could see the callouses on his fingers from the guitar, though. Gotta love that. Since the singer-songwriter genre was the smallest, the judges seemed to make their decisions very quickly. You and Shinsou watched as people got turned away and as other got through to the next round. Iida, the guy with the dyed hair, and the girl with the black ponytail all made it through to the next round, which you were happy about. They were all very talented and deserved it 100%. But now, the only people who were left in the genre and the entire competition were you and Shinsou. “Do you think we didn’t make it?”

“Well… honestly I don’t know. If we didn’t, at least we got some exposure. Maybe someone will see us, and you can pay off your student loans and I can pay off my mom’s medical bills.”

“And maybe then you could go to university. I know you’ve always wanted to go to school for a music production major.”

He looks over at you with kind of big eyes. How did you know about that? He may have mentioned it off-hand like once while you, Mina, and Denki were around. Did you really just pay attention to him like that? And if you did, why did it just make his heart literally skip a beat? What is going on? Before he could even ask you, the producers gave you two the go-ahead to go onstage. You both walked out, obviously very nervous, but you stopped in the middle. “Well, well, well,” Midnight says, leaning into her microphone. “I bet you two are probably freaking out because what kind of line up of people is two people, right?” Keigo asks, and you both nod. “See, I told you. They know fear. Recording artists would be nothing without fear. These two are something,” Aizawa says, pointing at the two of you. Did the Shouta Aizawa just say the two of you were something? What? “Well, you don’t need to be nervous!” Toshinori screams, smiling very wide at the two of you. “Yeah, after all, we can’t just leave our top two in Hell Week,” Midnight says.

“Congratulations, Shinsou and (Y/n). You’re moving on to the next challenge.”

───────────────────────────────────

Song list:

Kirishima | Golden - Harry Styles

Mina | If I Were A Boy - The Queen, Beyoncé

Denki | Old Me - 5 Seconds of Summer

TetsuTetsu | Adore You - Harry Styles

Toga | Don’t Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers

Midoriya | Imagine - John Lennon

Mirio | Africa - Toto

Uraraka | I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

Tsu | Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Bakugo | Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day

Shigaraki | Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance

Tokoyami | Creep - Radiohead

Jirou | That’s What You Get - Paramore

Sero | Red Red Wine - UB40

Dabi | Take What You Want - Post Malone ft. Ozzy Osbourne & Travis Scott

Momo | Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Todoroki | What Do I Know - Ed Sheeran

Iida | Cherry Wine - Hozier

Shinsou | Dying In LA - Panic! At The Disco

(Y/n) | Graveyard (Stripped) - Halsey

[jlf23tumble]

There has been some really gross drama going down in one of the non1D fandoms that I've been really invested in for the last 10 years so if you had any famous/nonfamous 1D fics (my favorite thing ever) to rec I would be forever grateful.

OH, MAN, I WANNA HEAR THIS DRAMA!! I’m always so happy when I find some deep dive into something I’m totally not following, tell me more! In the meantime, I’ve got you, bb! I have a bunch--mayhaps too many--so I tried to cull (and tried to avoid famous/famous in other professions). Hopefully, there’s at least one here you haven’t read!

I normally list fics from smallest to largest, but I’m gonna break tradition here to front load my all-time favorites, which are Tuxedo Dress-Up and its sequel Tuxedo Classic Dance Party, both by Blake. If you read nothing else on this list, please god, read these two, the first one especially kills me, it’s so fucking funny and hot (even the TAGS are funny and hot), featuring famous Harry and real estate agent slash drag queen makeup artist slash aspiring songwriter, just the detail in the houses that Louis shows Harry ALONE, I wanna die.

day 1, by sky_reid, 5.6k. The tease of this one being the first part of a series that doesn’t materialize, help, but it doesn’t matter, it is as it says, pure luxury vacation porn, and even though it’s not clear in the story, the tags indicate famous footie star Louis and nonfamous Harry, so I nailed the brief!

I Won’t Let You Forget, by @graceling-in-a-suit, 7.2k. I’m not usually into time travel OR soulmates, but this one’s both AND it’s brilliant, so who am I to judge??? Loved it, the canon aspect works especially well, too!

breathless for an eternity, by cabinbythesea, 7.8k. The first of two SNL-related fics on this list, famous Harry w/ SNL writer/cast member Louis, so it kind of skirts the whole famous/non-famous line(ish), but the tags spell out all the reasons why this one’s a yes in several categories, ahem.

Love Me Like You Do, by sweaterpawstyles, 9.1k. I can’t do better than this one’s author notes: “Harry is a famous model, and Louis is a quiet writer who may or may not be his dom.” SO MUCH GOOD STUFF HERE, FWIW.

The One Where Harry Really Doesn’t Have Ten Cats, by LoadedGunn, 10k. The banter is off-the-charts good, and the entire concept borders on the very best crack, I’m SO HERE for catsitter-to-the-stars Harry and one of his more famous cat-owning clients Louis.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @100percentsassy, 12.6k. I feel like this one is genre-defining, it’s so wonderful from beginning to end, famous ex-boybander Harry and computer tech Louis meet cute on a dating app (and by the by, the author notes about the inspiration for this are HILARIOUS).

Answer All Your Wishes, by @sadaveniren, 13.5k. I don’t know the IRL reference material for this, but it doesn’t matter, it’s famous musician Louis and stay-at-home mommy blogger Harry who have been in love since high school, and it’s super cute.

Hold My Heart, by Awriterwrites and phdmama, 14k. Heart surgeon Harry joins the mile-high club with famous actor Louis, and the true best part is how Louis’s just as starstruck as Harry here.

Then We Talk Slow, by @letsjustsee, 20k. This one reads so real, Louis Tomlinson out there promoting “Just Hold On,” with social media manager Harry at his new label doin’ his part to help.

You Know It’s Christmas (My Heart Is Open Wide), by @softfonds, 21k. The second SNL fic on this list, famous Harry w/ SNL cast member Louis, and GOD, does it make ya think with all the ropes and what not.

let me make a thing of cream and stars, by @missandrogyny, 24k. Radio 1 DJ crew member Louis dealing with absolute sex pest/famous Harry, plus I really like the way Nick is written here.

led by your beating heart, by @missandrogyny, 29k. Same author as above, so another good job on writing Nick, but it’s also a great game of “call or delete,” with famous Harry deciding if he should call or delete “cute Lou from the loo,” a guy he met when he first auditioned for X Factor (cute Lou now being a teacher).

hymns for restless stars, by @turnyourankle, 37k. Can I just say how much I love the authors who write fictober and advent fic? You get a gift every day, and this one’s from Christmas 2018, featuring haunted-by-fame Harry and his niece’s teacher Louis, a soft and cozy holiday bonanza.

I Think You’re Already Home, by jaerie, 38k. There’s a lot going on here, but bottom line, agoraphobic yet famous alpha Louis Tomlinson hires omega Harry to have his child (the tag “questionable parenting decisions” sends me).

Buried Like Treasure, by QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 40k. Easily one of my all-time fave Marcel fics, this one’s about famous royal Harry hiding his identity and kinky secrets (but not for long!) from art thief Louis.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by sunsetmog, 61k. A wip, but who cares, this is famous chef Harry and obsessed fan Louis, and I’m not describing it well enough, but every chapter CRACKLES with humor and sex and sweetness, I love it so!

Not That Gone series, by abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow, 64k. Famous Harry goes back to his high school reunion and reconnects with decidedly non-famous Louis, and a truly great story ensues.

Tired Tired Sea, by MediaWhore/ @mediawhorefics, 113k. Yep, it’s a long one, but there’s a huge world built here, famous Harry with non-famous inn keeper Louis, you will absolutely want to visit a lighthouse when you finish it!

[hlupdate]

Louis Tomlinson took to the stage at Scala in London for a pretty special gig in aid of War Child UK, as part of BRITS week.

Even donating all proceeds from the sale of a one-off Tshirt sold at the event to the cause.

Support came from unsigned act Only The Poets, who got the crowd singing along to their songs, including Ceasefire. Think it’s fair to say by the end of their set the band have found themselves with a fair few new fans, including the main man Mr Louis Tomlinson who watched the set from the balcony with his team.

By the time Louis took to the stage just after 9 pm, the crowd were more than ready for it. He opened with his first solo single Just Hold On, a far rockier version than the original which he did with Steve Aoki, and we have to say we love this version just as much.

The show was even more special as it was Louis’s first headline show, with full a set. as a solo artist. For the entire ten-song setlist he owned the stage completely as if he’d been performing on his own his entire life and not spent his formative years in one of the worlds biggest boybands honing his craft.

He did give a nod to his One Direction days by singing Little Black Dress, causing the crowd to lose it.

Interestingly though it was some of Louis’s own solo material that drew the mass sing-alongs from the fans. Habit, Defenceless, Two of Us and Too Young were some of the stand out moments.

From the moment he stepped on the stage he had the crowd in the palm of his hand, the atmosphere electric, every word sang back to him, chants of “Always You” a nod to one of his album tracks. The love and support for him from those watching was something even none fans could feel.

With this gig Louis has triumphantly gone from the last member of 1D to release a solo album to Louis Tomlinson, singer and lyricist who seeing him perform live in a small and intimate venue like Scala is something anyone who is a music fan should strive to tick off their gig list. As it’s a proper gig, no gimmicks. Just Louis and his band singing songs that mean so much to so many people.

With tracks like Kill My Mind which was made to be sung at festivals and venues like this, Louis Tomlinson has found his home on stage and looks so happy and comfortable there that his energy is infectious and it makes for an extremely memorable gig.

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

On Biphobia

I’m an empathetic person, there’s good & bad things that come with it. When it comes to why people (especially those in the LGBTQ+ community) are biphobic, I think there are different factors to why they are other than plain ignorance. 

Those factors? Jealousy, Insecurity, & “Passing”  

Dating and finding love is difficult  but being in the queer community dating is an uphill battle, and it’s even harder for those who identify as bisexual. I identify as gay so I know how strong the loneliness can get, I also know how strong the jealousy can get as well. (I can be the jealous type i will admit) A lot of biphobes say they don’t want to date someone who is bisexual because they think they’ll cheat, despite the fact that there are a LOT of gays who cheat pretty much for fun, they feel like they will have to compete with the rest of the world if they like someone who is bisexual because their dating pool is bigger and they’ve probably dealt with people who have played games with their emotions while at the same time making a bad name for actual bi people. But the thing is....from what I’ve from many bisexuals, dating isn’t easier, some don’t even disclose their sexuality or just say they’re gay so they don’t have to explain themselves because I’m sure at this point they’re tired of having doing that.

That jealousy bleeds into the argument that Bi people whom are with someone of the opposite sex can pass as straight in public much easier than the rest of the community. Personally....I feel like Bi people can, but that’s only when they’re around straight people, when they come to their own community where they SHOULD feel safe and yet... here they are being ostracized by people who they thought would be more accepting of their sexuality, because yes they can blend in easier but that doesn’t mean straight people can’t be biphobic. (And i’m gonna go on a small tangent and say y’all kill me with this “gold star” shit, we’re not in a fucking kindergarten class) 

I will admit, I have been that kind of person and will slip up sometimes, I can be jealous and selfish when I like a guy and pretty much just want him to pay attention to me only (Ik i sound insane), but I have to remind myself of what I dealt with eternally with figuring out my sexuality (even as a virgin) and how I HATED having it be invalidated or even judged for not being “gay enough” because I’ve never been with a woman, so how can I know I’m gay? I DON’T HAVE THE DESIRE FOR WOMEN SEXUALLY that’s how I know. No one, especially in the queer community likes to have their sexuality or their gender to judged by someone else’s standards, I know i don’t like that, why should I do that to someone else, especially someone form my own community?

On insecurity.... I’m gonna on another tangent but it’s related to insecurity(This is gonna sound pathetic) I’m a big Harry Styles fan (yeah no shit) and I’ve loved how over the past few years he’s been expressing his sexuality, but being in his fanbase, or even being in the 1D fanbase can poke at my insecurity at times, it’s not really anyone’s fault, it’s just how I feel about it. Most of H’s fanbase is consistent of str8 girls/bi girls/and lesbians, which is not a negative thing, but as a gay man, I can feel like a fish out of water at times. It kind of goes back to why I previously thought I’d never fawn over a boyband member because I thought “I’m not gonna play with my own emotions like that” I’d see millions of female fans lose their minds over these guys and some of them hope they have a chance to date any of them, I thought if I joined in on their fawning, I’d look and feel stupid because none of us would have a chance with them and if we did, I’d have a MUCH lesser chance than they did, so I vowed I’d never lose my mind over a boyband member. That’s until I found out about a certain green-eyed MF and the rest is history. It’s part of why I’ve been secretly dreading his upcoming music video after seeing the filming of it because it reminds me all too much of that insecurity; That I have no chance at all with the men I’m attracted to. (Not to mention the song where it’s suggested he’s talking about sucking dick is unreleased and only sung on tour, yet the song that’s suggestively about eating pussy is a single and has a music video) I know that’s a very negative thing to think about, but it’s something that’s been stuck in the back of my head for years and I know there are other gay male fans of Harry but let’s be real the last time I’ve seen some acknowledgement was that gay vodka moment & the “yes daddy I will” moment (A black gay male fan yelled that at him and he repeated it and I saw so many pretend as if he wasn’t responding to a guyor straight up say a female fan said that even though there is video footage of the dude saying it) I’m not gonna get on the topic of H’s fans who disregard his attraction to men, I’ll be here all day unsurprisingly the queer fans are the ones whom I’ve seen call out that bullshit. That’s my own personal insecurity, but I know I’m not the only one who feels or has felt that way. That’s at least one place, I’m sure some people’s biphobia stems from, personal insecurity.

I think a lot of biphobia comes from ignorance, but I think it also comes from hurt or the fear of being hurt even more. I can understand that fear all too well,  I’ve been hurt by other people, not romantically (yet) and honestly I have and feel that fear strongly, but so do Bi people, we’re all humans with emotions that don’t have an off switch, and I also know that being oppressive toward someone else in an already oppressed community won’t help in any way, no matter how much you convince yourself it can. I know i’m not saying anything brand new or ground-breaking I just felt like airing that out.

I hope I don’t cussed out for this post.

[shedreamsofstars]

Dancing In The Heights

SonAmy Week 2019 - Height Differences

Music thumped around them, pulsing through their intertwined fingers as Sonic and Amy wove through a packed crowd. Every moment or so, the blue hedgehog would glance behind him, flashing a smile to his pink counterpart as he led her as close to the stage as he could get.

After having turned around to find her gone earlier, Sonic’s heart had dropped to unknowable depths. He’d been frantic as he searched through the sea of people, searching for any hint of pink fur. Luckily, Amy had had enough sense to stay exactly where she was. It made it infinitely easier for him to locate her, standing amidst a group of girls who had taken her in with a somewhat lost look in her eyes.

The incident had shaken him enough that Sonic now made sure he had a firm grip on her hand at all times, like he should have done from the start. That was a mistake he definitely didn’t plan on repeating any time soon he thought through gritted teeth.

As they came to a section of the crowd where the people were pressed together so tightly that they could easily have been mistaken for a wall, Sonic stopped. “I don’t think we can get much closer,” he shouted over the rhythmic drums banging out around them.

“It’s okay. This is perfect!” Amy shouted back. Sonic struggled to hear her but got the gist of her words, giving her a thumbs up in return. He turned his gaze to the stage before them that currently stood empty.

He didn’t know who had taken up the mantle of ‘Dreamboat Express Redux’ but apparently, they were quite the hit with the crowd as suddenly there was a huge uproar as the members of Amy’s favourite band took to the stage. There were three of them, all wearing spiffy white tuxes that glittered in the bright lights like sparkling disco balls.

He turned to see if the girl herself had spotted them, only to find her hopping on her tip toes and struggling to see over the myriad of heads in front of her. Sonic blinked, mind racing as he realised that he’d brought her all this way and she was so small she couldn’t see a thing, even with those killer heels on.

The singing began and it seemed everyone around them knew the words as the voices filled the air just as he tried to call out to the pink hedgehog, an idea floating in the back of his mind. “Amy!” he called again, still struggling to get her to hear him. He shook his head as he gave up on the line of thought, shuffling away from the people pressing in on them from behind.

Realising, almost too late, that he was still holding her hand, Sonic squeezed her fingers three times in the midst of the crowd. She turned to him instantly, looking mildly concerned. He flashed her a carefree smile to ease her worry and tugged her closer. Without warning, he ducked towards the ground and guided her towards his back. “Grab on Ames,” he called over his shoulder, hoping she could hear enough to figure out what he was doing.

A moment later and Amy was clambering on to his back as best as she could with the limited space they had as more and more people crowded in around them. She yelped in surprise as Sonic stood up a little more quickly than expected and the boy bit his lip as her hands struggled to find purchase against his quills, sending electric sparks racing through him wherever she grazed his skin.

With a steadying breath, he grabbed onto her legs, adjusting them around his hips for support. Amy seemed confident enough to settle down after that and Sonic risked glancing up at her only to see her smiling down at him. Her hair tickled his cheeks as it fell against his face. “You can see now, right?” he asked.

“I can see the entire stage from here. Thank you, Sonic.”

“I got you Ames. Anytime,” he replied, turning his gaze back to watch the singing and dancing, but mostly to hide the warmth that had blossomed on his cheeks.

As the boyband sang their hearts out, the hedgehog duo bopped along to the songs as best they could. About half way into the concert, Sonic felt Amy shift and he lost his grip on her. Reflexively, he crouched low to the ground so if she did fall, it wouldn’t be far, and she slipped off of his shoulders.

He turned to make sure she had landed safely only to see her smiling brightly at him. “Everything okay Ames? Because I don’t think they’re finished yet!”

She nodded. “I know! As nice as it was up there, it’s not the same as being down here with you,” she replied, having to lean in closer to make sure he heard her. Sonic’s chest warmed at the sentiment and he didn’t even try to stop the grin that stretched across his face.

He reached for her, hands on her hips as he gazed down at her. Someone pushed past around them, and Sonic tipped forward involuntarily, his forehead bumping against hers. Amy giggled, the sound crystal clear despite the commotion around them and Sonic sighed against her, her green eyes sparkling in response.

“Hey, you want to get out of here?” he said after a moment.

“With you? Absolutely,” she laughed back.

“Great, because I have an idea. Come on,” he said, leading her out of the crowds and towards the open air. Once they were clear of enough people, he grabbed her into his arms. “Better hold on tight,” he warned.

“Wait, where are we going?” she asked, grabbing his arm.

“Not far!” he called as he began to speed away, the wind whistling past them as the landscape transformed from bright neon’s and flashing lights of the concert to the rich umber of the woods and the darker tones of the shifting grass beneath them.

As Sonic brought them to a stop, they could still hear the music in the background. He set Amy down gently beside the fencing that ran along one side of the trail and the first thing she did was use it to steady herself as she kicked off her heels and stood barefoot on the grass.

“Where are we?” she asked as she finally took in her surroundings. The moonlight bathed the plants and trees around them with an ethereal glow and Sonic offered her a hand.

“I don’t really know. On some trail somewhere, I guess. But more importantly, would you like to dance?” he asked, cocking a confident brow at her. He extended his hand out and she took it with a shy smile. They could still hear the upbeat music and Sonic let Amy lead them into a whirlwind of a dance.

Her hands were hooked around his neck as they sung and danced until they were both breathless and giddy. During one particularly fast paced song, Sonic spun the pair of them so fast that they both collapsed onto the ground in a fit of dizzy giggles, the night air cooling their burning cheeks.

Eventually, the music drowned out into silence as the concert in the distance came to a close and Sonic found himself reluctant to let go of the girl in his arms. Whilst she was distracted looking at some nearby flower that had supposedly just bloomed, the blue hedgehog took the opportunity to sneak up on his girl.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her into his chest, pressing a light kiss against the side of her muzzle. Sonic had enough height on her to comfortably rest his chin against her head as he began to sway them from side to side. “I had fun tonight,” he admitted, the only music left to accompany them the soft chirrup of crickets in the distance.

“Me too. I really appreciate you taking me to the concert Sonic … even if we ditched half way through. It was more fun to be with you,” she said.

“Oh really,” he said quietly, just enjoying the peacefulness of holding her without the cares of the world holding them down. This time was theirs and theirs alone.

Amy spun around in his arms and pressed up on her tip toes, eyes focused on his lips. “Yes really.” Sonic chuckled as he realised what she was trying to do.

“You’re a little too short without those heels,” he mused, leaning down just enough to let his lips hover over hers but not letting them touch. “Just like at the concert.” He waggled his eyebrows tauntingly and Amy bit back a smile as she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

“I got you Sonic.” The boy’s eyes widened in surprise as he was pulled along with her until she reached the fence. She hopped up onto it with ease, perching on the top rung. “Anytime,” she whispered, echoing his own words back to him as she finally had the height to press her lips against his.

She was higher than him now, but Sonic couldn’t care less as the warmth of her kisses fluttered through him, each one more fierce and exhilarating than the last. As she pulled back for breath, Sonic cupped her face in his hands.

“You know I would have just picked you up right. Or even done that whole lean and drop kiss thing people always do in the movies,” he teased, tucking a stray quill behind her ear.

She seemed to pause in thought. “Wait, really? I thought I was too short for that …” she said with a hint of regret and Sonic chuckled, shaking his head at her naivety.

“Come here you,” he said, pulling her face close to his and pressing his lips against his in a gentle caress. “You think I’d ever let something as insignificant as height ever get between us?”

...xxx...

Ooof, I’m late already (sorry!). Hope you guys enjoyed this piece. I’m not really sure what it is but it exists now so, yay? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy SonAmy Week 2019.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts if you can and until next time, chao :)

[eurosong]

SF1 vs SF2: My preference

Morning, folks - this is the second part of my look at the semis, since one became two back in 2008, to find whether I’ve historically preferred one semi or another. Every year, we hear talk of one semi being strongest, but do I agree? Part one can be found here!

2014: Semi-final 1 had Calm after the storm, a lesson in elegance in simplicity that I still think should have won; Not alone, a divisive song, but one whose epic instrumentation  I really enjoyed; Moj svijet, one of Montenegro's highlights; and in terms of smaller pleasures, the loveably goofy Cake to bake, the roaring No prejudice, and the uplifting Amazing (which unfortunately wasn't so good live.) It also had the creepy, oedipal Mother, and Running, a fan favourite for many but which I always found very annoying and cynical.

In SF2, we had my personal pick for best Swiss song of this century, Hunter of stars; the smouldering emotion of Silent storm; Georgia bringing the experimentalism once again with Three minutes to earth; the bizarrely wronged, fierce Same Heart; but also, a hell of a lot of unexceptional, filler songs (I put Heartbeat, Something Better, Coming home and Miracle into this category tbh) and some like Rise up and To the sky which actively annoyed me. SF1 wins!

2015: SF1 had some seriously good songs for me - Rhythm inside, one of the best of the Belgian renaissance crop; De la capat, which I found exquisitely moving; the fierce and energetic Warrior; the gentle but poignant Wars for nothing; A million voices, probably Russia’s best effort in the past decade for me; and the sublime Goodbye to yesterday, which I think was well deserving of being at least top 5 that year. It also has the inexorably boring One last breath; the six soloists competing hot mess of Face the shadow; I want your love, a one-man early 2000s boyband throwback where the one member manages to be as annoying as a full quintet; the excruciatingly juvenile Walk along; Autumn leaves, whose qualification over Brod szto tone is a high crime; and Beauty never lies, which was the precise moment Serbia broke this serbophile's heart, abandoning a tradition of using their language and musical tradition with aplomb.

SF2 had the other two thirds of the Baltic annus mirabilis: the delightfully cute and catchy This time and Aminata's soaring, epic Love injected. We also had Montenegro's best ever for me, the heartbreaking and yet affirming Adio; A monster like me, Norway's best song in the past 20 years for me; and a trio of beautiful songs whose non-qualification still surprises me, the delicate Playing with numbers, delightfully saudadic Há um mar que nos separa and the baroque Hope never dies. On the other hand, it also has my least favourite winner of the decade; the worst of the two years Warriors by far from Malta; the dull, repetitive duo of songs that "helpfully" cushioned Heroes, Unbroken and Time to shine; and one of those “annual fan faves I can’t get behind”, the advert for nasal spray that was Here for you. Nonetheless, SF2 takes it!

2016: SF1 was a nightmare semi for me in that my biggest favourites, Jüri's dark but inviting Play, Bosnia's catchy fusion of traditional local music and rap in Ljubav je, and the sensationally wronged Hear them calling all ended not qualifying. Amongst the qualifiers, I quietly enjoyed the rousing Pioneer, the imperious Lovewave and the contemplative Slow down, but most of the other songs - qualifiers or not - annoyed me to some degree, like the generic Sing it away and Falling stars; the hymn to co-dependence that was I stand; the inane, repetitive, bubblegummy Loin d'ici; the dull Walk on worrah; and Miracle, whose qualification was a miracle - from the devil.

In SF2, my favourite also did not qualify - a crime of treason against queen Kaliopi and her deeply moving Dona. I also was hoping that the Slovenian Taylor Swift's quietly sweet Blue and red could get through, but no dice. Luckily, my other big favourites in this semi did get through - the defiant Shelter and perhaps the most uplifting song of the last decade, If love [were] a crime. I also really liked Heartbeat, Aminata's equally accomplished sophomore effort, and the delectable slice of mid-90s britrock that was Midnight Gold. This semi also had the whining puppy lament that was Colo[u]r of your life; the lolcow hotmess that was Last of our kind; two songs in one and neither were good in Icebreaker; and  the prissy Made of Stars. SF2 takes it!

2017: SF1 had the delicate, quietly moving City lights; the dark and experimental Skeletons, Azerbaijan's best song ever for me; Amar pelos dois, one of my most favourite ESC songs ever and whose poignancy still hits me in the heart; the soaring Fly with me, perhaps Armenia's greatest moment so far for me; as well as the inexplicable non-qualifiers Blackbird, the deep and meaningful Paper, whose message about depression really got to me; the low key lovely My turn and the banging Line. It also had a ghoulish Keep the faith; the fuckboi anthem that was I can't go on; the embarassing Space; the generic and badly sung This is love; and the equally dull Gravity, On my way, Flashlight and Don't come easy, the last three of which were real dirges.

In SF2, we had the riproaring, cri de coeur that was Origo; Belarus' best for me, the delectable, sweet Story of my life; Dance alone, which was great at least as a record;  the guilty pleasure Yodel it and the surprisingly moving Lights and shadows. We also had the twee Running on air, the dull Breathlessly, the earache-inducing Spirit of the night; the abomination that was Maaa fwenn/Moy frenndddd; Grab the moment, which left me completely cold; the generic I feel alive; the unsympathetic Beautiful mess; and the song that put me against thousands of people I know who were raving about it, the 80s throwback and awkward Verona. SF1 wins easily.

2018: SF1 had Mall, my #1 that year, which absolutely blew me away with the combination of lyrics, voice, music and pure emotion, and my #2, Nobody but you, probably the best gospel-tinged song ever sent to ESC for my money. I also really liked the quietly moving When we're old; Lost and found was one of my most listened to tracks before thát performance; and whilst I was dubious about Together's tangentially-related staging, it gave me the good kind of shivers on the night. The rest of the semi is most unremarkable for me, though I have to note that I heavily dislike Fuego, Monsters and the written in 3 minutes-feeling X my heart.

SF2 had another rock out moment with Outlaw in em; the visceral Viszlát nyár; the overlooked but superior feminist anthem of the year in Hvala ne;  the criminally underrated, poetic Inje; Goodbye, which tore my heart remembering friends lost; and the bizarrely overlooked, sad but sensual Funny girl. It also had the ironically titled That's how you write a song; the deeply irritating Dance you off; the torturous I won't break; embarassing Light me up and overblown Taboo. SF1 has the two songs that I found the most beautiful of the year, but SF2 has a higher proportion of songs that I found good, so SF2 clinches it.

So, in 11 years, it’s been really even. SF1 has been the stronger of the two semis for me 5 times, SF2 6 times. This year, it’s difficult to guess whether SF2 will go 7-5 for me or whether SF1 will tie it up, 6 years each. We’re excitingly close to seeing!

[lylvandam]

1/2 You write god tier Greed/Ling stuff so I just wanted to share, was listening to youtube recommendations and Affection by Cigarettes After Sex started playing... Well, imagine a modern AU where Greed has a band, guess he plays either a guitar or bass idk, and Ling is applying to be a lead singer or something like that. Greed's naturally been all high and mighty, showing Ling around his shitty band quarters like it was The Best Place in town and Ling was Highly Privileged to see it,

[2/2 but the moment they finally start jamming and Ling opens his mouth to sing Greed’s absolutely enamored, so much so he plain forgets to play his part and just listens, mouth agape how someone can sound that good. Ling in turn slowly stops singing cause he’s not sure if he should continue now alone, and then they just stare each others for a second, both confused as to why the other stopped singing/playing. Ahah yeah, idk if this was going anywhere. Anywho, have a good one!! Love your works❣️]

Sorry it took me a couple of days to reply to this! I got inspired and threw something together, hope you enjoy it, anon! (This is a link to the song in question BTW)

“I still don’t think we’re going to find the right one, putting fliers in a place like this!”The bar they were currently in was extremely not their crowd, full of students and grads from the local uni.“Come on Greed, now you’re being stubborn just for the hell of it. After the stunt Kimblee pulled we need a new singer and, as a group, we decided where to search for them.”

To Greed it seemed like it was Martel who was being obtuse just for the hell of it, but it wasn’t like he was ever going to say that out loud, he somewhat valued his own life.

“Have you seen the people that hang in this place, they’re so not in tune with our… way of living our life”“And now you’re just saying things”“No no I mean it, look around you.” He waved his hands at the room, making some of the horrible bourbon he was drinking spill from his glass (it was almost a miracle they served bourbon at all). “They’re boring, they’re… normal… They lack our vibe… our aesthetic. I don’t want one of these people as a singer in my band.”“If you’re waiting for someone with your same fashion taste to get a singer, we’re literally going to perform for the first time In the actual Devil Nest.”Greed looked at her.“You know, like the name of our band…”Greed kept looking at her.“and we’ll be performing in hell…”….“… Because we’ll be dead…”…“…From old age…”…“…because NOBODY IN THE WORLD HAS YOUR FASHION TASTE.”She shouted the last part.“You know that when you have to explain a joke five times it means it didn’t land, right?”“You got it the first time, you’re just being an asshole about it. Anyway, if it makes you feel any better this place has the only person with an edgier and flashier sense of fashion than yours, look” She gestured toward a small blond guy that seemed to be really into red, leather, and skulls.“The only one? You’ve met my sibling Envy, right?”Martel smirked at him but didn’t respond, both of them looking curiously at the small guy in question that was now near their flier.Huh, maybe they would get someone with the right vibe to audition after all.The blondie picked the flier up and took it with him at the counter where he started talking to a guy in a neon yellow shirt that seemed for some reason incapable of buttoning. They talked for a while and Greed and Martel didn’t even pretend they weren’t snooping in what was going on over there. They showed the flier to the bartender and the guy pointed right at the table where they were sitting.Shit.They both jumped in unison and tried to cover it by gulping their drinks way to quickly and starting a random conversation without really saying anything (they were never so in sync with each other like the times they embarrassingly got caught staring at strangers…)

When they saw the shadow of a person standing in front of their table they looked up to find, of course, the neon hipster one, looking down at them with the flier in hand and a hopeful smile on his face.Of fucking course.————————————–

“I would have made you more like a parent’s garage type of band.”The neon hipster guy (that had introduced himself as Ling, a name that Greed was desperately trying to not remember because fuck no he wasn’t going to have a fucking hipster as lead singer in HIS band) was snooping around the room they rented as a rehearsal studio/chillout place/ their own personal bar.The guy hadn’t rested a minute since they met him twenty minutes before, talking and smiling and laughing and flirting which was all very annoying because he really seemed to belong in a boyband (okay okay he wasn’t that young, he seemed even almost a little too old to be a grad student, but still)Greed couldn’t stand genuinely cheerful people. Except for Bido, but he was a special case. Nobody could dislike Bido, come on!

“But man, this place is so cool” neon yellow kid sipped the fucking whatever hipster Aperol cocktail he brought from the bar. (Yes, they were *that* fucking close to that godforsaken bar).If it wasn’t that they were getting desperate he wouldn’t have even considered letting a guy like that even see this place on a map, let alone let him do this unofficial audition.How did he manage to convince them to do this right now anyway? Greed couldn’t even remember.“Is that a Marshall amp? Whoa, you people don’t mess around! And this Fender Bullet, wow!”Okay okay, at least he did have some kind of taste in guitars…“Man I can’t believe I’m going to start playing in a place like this.”“Wait, wait wait, you’re not going to start to do anything unless *I* say so.”“Yeah yeah, sure.”Did he just fucking dismiss him with a wave? Him? Oh, this guy was going down!He took his guitar, now knowing exactly what he was going to do.“Anyway, this one is mine, Martel over there” he gestured at Martel, that was chilling with a beer on the couch looking bored (which was fake as fuck because Greed knew how much this thing meant to her) “is our drummer and you probably never going to meet the bass player and second guitar so I’m not even going to go there right now.”“It’s your guitar? It’s first rate!”Greed felt a strike of pride in its stead for the praise (it really was his most treasured possession) and almost didn’t notice how his shade had been ignored.Neon Yellow was indeed still smiling like nothing had happened and Greed wanted to make it go away. Oh, so fucking much.“We need someone who can hold on their own, so you’re not going to play with the band, you’re just going to play with me. No drums, no bass, no backing. This is going to be entirely acoustic. Is that alright.”“Fine by me” He took the mic and switched it on, and Greed did the same with his amp.“Perfect, You said you knew the three songs from the flier, right?”“Yup”“Then let’s begin with the Cigarettes After Sex.”And he started playing.Greed oscillated between strumming his part away, letting everybody in the room understand how much he wasn’t on board about any of this, and giving the brat the performance of a lifetime, just to make him understand just how much of a different level they were.He decided for the former and not because he also vaguely had a wish to impress him, with his ponytail and his face.Anyway, he did the intro in that casual impromptu way he had rehearsed so many times.Neon Yellow looked incredibly impressed there for a minute (in his face) and ecstatic instead of crushed for some reason.Then he closed his eyes and started singing.And then Greed couldn’t tear his own eyes away. As if watching him could help him appreciate the experience of the song more.The experience of hearing Ling sing, more.Because that’s what it was. There wasn’t any other way to describe it.Every single part of it was an experience that Greed wanted to never end. From the voice lulling him, to the confident tone, to the way the words sounded coming out of his mouth, to the lights and shadows dancing on his face from the headlights of cars passing on the street below, to the fucking neon yellow shirt.Everything was part of it.Greed had heard the song so many fucking times sung in so many different ways, and this was the first time he felt it, really felt it.And in that moment all he could think was, “I want him” not even knowing he himself what he meant by that.Then everything stopped.Midverse, Ling stopped, opened his eyes and looked up at him… confused, for some reason?Greed wanted it back.“Why did you stop!?”Ling seemed even more confused.“You… weren’t playing anymore? I didn’t know if…”Greed wasn’t…?He looked down and saw that yeah, his hands weren’t on the guitar anymore.He was so fucking caught in the whatever the hell that was that he had stopped playing.Well, shit.“I actually thought we were doing fine”Ling looked sheepish for the first time that evening.“Yeah yeah no. It was… okay I guess.”A snort came from the sofa…where Martel was… right, they weren’t alone, why had he been feeling like they were alone?“Yeah right ‘it was okay, and I just had an ethereal experience because of it… because it was okay…”“Shut up Martel.”“I was being thoughtful of you, Greed, I could have said, ’ and I almost jiz…”“OKAY LING WELCOME TO THE ‘DEVIL NEST’ YOU’RE OUR NEW SINGER NOW!”Ling beamed at him and Greed wanted to… nope not thinking of that.“Yes! I am so psyched! I cannot wait to see what we can do together…” don’t smile like an idiot Greed, don’t smile like an idiot Greed, don’t smile like an idiot Greed, don’t smile like an idiot Greed, don’t smile like an idiot Greed, don’t… “I mean, if the others are half as good as you, Greed, being here is going to be awesome!”Fucking Martel was snorting again (why could she always know what was going on!? so irritating)Also, if Greed didn’t find a solution to what was happening in his… head… right now this was going to be fucking impossible to withstand!But being able to hear Ling sing every day was worth it. (Even with Martel’s knowing smirk accompanying every performance)“I cannot wait to meet them! I also have to say that I have other skills up my sleeve, something I can bring to the table to make us get to the next level.” He took Dolcetto’s guitar that was sitting near him.“Oh yeah? You’re a decent player?”“Oh no nothing like that, I know like five chords. I meant, because of my father’s job I was always traveling around the world when I was a kid, so I’m fluent in a lot of languages.”Confusing but okay?“And…”“I lived in Germany for over a year, meaning I can speak German pretty well…”Oh no, he wasn’t gonna.“… meaning we can do this.”He did.He fucking started playing 99 Red Balloons.How was this Greed’s life?

[silveredsound]

Hi. I started following you because of your pictures. They were amazing. You like fic too, do you have any favourite recs? Do you have favorite hips?

Hello. Oh if you started following me come off anon, lets chat :) I am glad you liked the pictures it’s been nice having something to give back to the fandom.I do like fic :) Quite a lot. I am going to list some random rpf ones, some new some old, that will give you an idea of what I like and if you have any other questions - or want to flail about anything and all things -  please come back. Also I may have to do this again w Narry/Zarry/Zouis…

Gryles

Doodle of a Surface Life by junkshopdisco / @junkshop-discoSummary: Harry is a veterinary nurse, a part-time baker, and a terrible journalist. Nick just wants to write his autobiography and get a selfie with a famous cow, but a series of chance encounters leads to his life spiralling into control.

Liminal spaces and boys and dachshunds who interrupt the nothingness.

all of the nights and all of the days by renlyne / @daretomarvelSummary: 5 times Nick was the best friend anyone could have wished for (+ 1 time he became more than a friend)

Ren writes in a way that leaves me actually breathless - with joy or the beautiful angst - Also, I’ll Be Seeing You, which is a small masterpiece and a laugh on which I left the comment ‘f off’ as it was just that perfectly devastating.

The Morning After by Writcraft / @writsgrimmyblogSummary: It’s the morning after the wedding. Nick is hungover, Harry is persistent and somehow they end up right back where they started.

Oh this is atmospheric and has such lyricism in parts. A proper good ache; a reckless grasp at something more. Also, Writ’s brilliant long good Tomlinshaw, Kissing In the Rain and go annoy them about 50 Reasons Nick & Louis should have sex

Lourry/Larry

A Reptile Dysfunction by makesomeloveSummary: Or, Louzard.“So what’s wrong with me then?” Louis says.“Well, I’m no expert…” Liam says. “But in my opinion, I’d have to guess, well. Yer a lizard, Louis!”

This is.. It’s.. It’s just the best. 

Thought The Song Was Sung by 100percentsassy / @100percentsassySummary: Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry’s just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat… until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

I have re-read this so often, it’s so funny. Really well done.

Tomlinshaw

Press My Face Against the Clouds by Jiksa / @jiksaxSummary: Norway has a polar bear population, Nick has a broken heart, and Louis Tomlinson is, unsurprisingly, still a complete fucking wanker.

There is something that Jiksa does always which involves me losing the function to function. She evokes characters with clarity and warmth and is so skilled she never fails to win me over to ships I would never have ever considered. Also, Gryles - Such Sweet Sorrow and Nick/Gemma Rooftops and rowboats (you’ll see what I mean)

Metal Heart by ymorton / @ihavea1dbloghelpSummary: Vegas au! This was originally based off an amazing drawing from seancodydirection and then became really long and strange. Please just suspend all disbelief about everything, especially: how blackjack works, casino policy, how Nick would make money as a blackjack dealer, the logistics of dance floor fingering, and One Direction hiring only a male stripper.

An AU that is very immersive and just somehow perfect in it’s sweat and glimmers of gold and glances to the vast emptiness.

You’re a Rabbit Louis by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketshipsSummary: “Maybe Louis turned into a rabbit,” Nick suggests. They both laugh. Louis doesn’t. Harry is an idiot and Nick is an even bigger one.Louis stomps past both of them on four tiny, furry, baby rabbit paws, and into Nick’s flat. “I hate you both,” he says. He sits on the rug by the TV. “And you can stop following me around too,” he says to Pig, who sits down next to him on the rug.

I think about this ‘verse almost every day. It’s gorgeous and comforting and I love how @magicalrocketships​ always writes with such generosity and acceptance for her characters. Also, Not Your Fault But Mine which is part of a patch on my stitched together heart.

Lirry

My Bright Blue Sky (The Sun in My Eyes) by pillarboxred / @akai-coatSummary: Harry’s daughter turns up at their door and she’s much more than she appears to be.

Magical and woven delightfully. Akai-coat has a lovely way with words, Also, brilliant Tomlinshaw as well - I adore A Shimmering Balance Act (I Think that I Laughed at That)

ot5

Never On Your Own by threeturn /@valencing Summary: “I was like, ooh parallel universe, and then I was like, oh no, we have to set things right.” One Direction, lost and found.

A character study? A fever dream? It’s pretty close to perfect either way.

🌹 🌹 Oh - and you asked about my favourite hips? Well - 

via - this post by @harryisart &  harcissistic

[ssfoc]

Sea, this may be a difficult question but what One Direction song/album do you think really, truly should have won a Grammy? The boys have been snubbed time and again, but we casually refer to it as "being slept on" etc. I would love to know which ones you think had a genuine chance and were lost. Like, can you think of any times that an album or song won a Grammy when the boys could've dominated that category? Haha I know I might be asking for a lot of work but I'd love to hear your opinion!

I personally think “What Makes You Beautiful” should have won Best Pop Duet/Group Performance in 2012 (Amy Winehouse won for Body and Soul). It was critically well received, charted well (#4 on Billboard Hot 100), and is a classic power pop song with fun lyrics, an ear worm of a chorus, and classic, infectious boy band performance style. It had gone quadruple platinum in the United States by 2016. It is still sung (bless you, Harry Styles) and still played on radio seven years later, the definition of a pop classic. The Grammys reward a combination of writing, producing, performance, and popularity— and WMYB was the perfect Venn diagram of all these elements.

I think Midnight Memories, Four, and Made in the A.M. all should have been considered for Best Pop Vocal Album, or Best Pop Duo/ Group Performance. Unfortunately, the singles released were perhaps not the best songs on the album, and may have aimed at commercial rather than critical success. It feels to me like Syco, recognizing the boyband stigma and rolling in 1D sales, stopped trying for critical success after a while, despite the boys’ trying to evolve their sound and participate in songwriting.

One positive thing that came out of it is their ability to write on their own now, the rewards lasting beyond their stint in the band. They will always face the boyband stigma, however, even as some of their songs are arguably more original and better written than many that are critically rewarded.

“Through the Dark” is a personal favorite, and should have been released as a single. It broke through 1D’s bubblegum pop sound and is still played on top 40/ contemporary pop radio, four years later.

“What a Feeling” and “Walking in the Wind” were as perfectly written and performed as one could have hoped for, perfect valedictions to boyband song making. I feel it most unfair that MITAM was not even nominated for pop album of the year. No disrespect, but the breadth of songwriting and the performances on MITAM outclassed “Say Something” by a big margin, SS being the Grammy Winner for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance in 2015. “Say Something” sounds tired and grating now, whereas songs from MITAM still sound fresh and surprising.

Every song in MITAM is listenable. “If I Could Fly” deserves a performance recognition, and “Infinity” and “Drag Me Down” were solid pop songs (the DMD video was beautifully conceived — if a little corny — and beautifully shot too).

A few earlier songs did not receive good promotion or radio play, and chart performance ended up being disappointing. In my opinion, “Fool’s Gold” should have gotten a performance nomination, as well as “Better Than Words.” They hold up as well as any Grammy winner.

[thevampsupdate]

The Vamps for TMRW Magazine

 Written by Tanyel Gumushan

         The Vamps are not the easiest band to interview. They're the kings of digression. Chatterboxes. They're like hyper-active school boys on the last day of term. They take zoomed in photographs of each other, and whisper random and strange words mid-sentence just to set off giggles. Sat in a dressing room with them, though, their boyish charm sort of takes over, and we end up talking about curry for much longer than we should have considering our allocated timeslot.

           Tristan is hunched up, hood down to the tip of his nose, complaining about last night's said curry. For most of the talk, he's a million miles away, "I'm just soaking up the energy, man." Maybe 12pm is early for the boys. It definitely is for Brad, who rushes in twenty minutes late, flashing that smile - you know the one - like a kid late to school: all apologies but knowing he's the teacher's pet. Connor bursts into song at random intervals. James restores calm amongst the chaos, he's like the dad of the band. He deserves a medal.

           But you've got to love The Vamps. They're not a cliché of a boyband, and they're not deliberately trying not to be. They're just, well, they're The Vamps. They blaze a trail of energy and excitement.

           "The thing is that we all act normal, and that's the natural beauty of it. We just do whatever we do." Says Connor, and I'll admit 'normal' is up for debate. But they haven't had a 'normal' life as such, so they're not doing bad for a band whose 'wild phase' peaked at 18 when Connor had one too many and made the pages of The Sun. They show me the image, "I didn't, erm, look my best." Beer bloat is never flattering, though, is it?

           The band have always held each other up, quite literally so in that photograph. James explains, "A lot of my friends have, like, finished uni, or have done a couple of years ago, and I think that we missed a lot of the experiences that are learnt from leaving home when you're like 17 or 18, finishing school and moving away for the first time and the things that happen there." Instead, they've lived their own version where moving away from home means being thrown into the limelight and across the world. "Kind of losing those years that are the normal teen years is strange because our perception of the world is different from the people who are our age. Consequently, we've had to deal with long distance relationships and friendships and family, earlier than perhaps people normally do. So we've learnt a lot of different things."

           Meet the Vamps, their introductory album, was filled with euphoric songs about puppy love. It was written with zero expectation of what was to come. The following album Wake Up came about "during the hysteria of everything." Having lived and toured with those songs for the past couple of years, The Vamps have hit their prime. Right now. Explaining how they've grown up, essentially, and "now we're at a stage where we can really think about what we want to say in the music." Their latest record, Night and Day (Night Edition), is their best year. The first half of a concept album, made to reflect two sides of The Vamps and as a whole, bring them together. Night rides the very emotional whirlwind of a break-up. "I think, like, we're in our early to mid-twenties now so we're not the sixteen-year-old boys who made the first album anymore. We've been through relationships and we're just more honest and less scared to be vocal about how we actually feel," they explain.

           'Sad Song' is a quirky number ripped straight from the warm summer tones of a coming-of-age movie, it talks through the regrets of the aftermath. On the flipside, the calypso-kissed 'It's A Lie' teases with temptation, smooth as anything.

           "When we were writing the album, especially the first part of the album, we were in a different head space, we didn't know where we were going to go with it sonically," Brad explains. It was only when they got lead single 'Middle of the Night', a slinky lil electro ballad, that they knew what they had to do. "It was a bit more sultry and a bit more moody and l think that's where the idea of doing a 'Night' album that was a bit more catered to those songs and then a 'Day' album that was a bit more organic [came from]." 'Night' is reflected best through sensuous synth and lyrics with a bite. The lyrics are lip-bite saucy, gleaming cherry red. Brooding an underlying storm 'Same To You', asks 'does he touch like I do?', whilst 'Hands' leads a rosy trail to a bedroom with a rousing chorus. 'Shades On' is automatically an irresistible holiday anthem, lifting of moods and moving bodies harmoniously. Inspired by the likes of The Chainsmokers and Justin Bieber, The Vamps have gone mad for EDM - "It's just bare drops, isn't it? We love a drop." But, ultimately, the third album hints back at the first, they say. It's like an evolution of The Vamps: same heart but different headspace.

Cheeky mannerisms flutter throughout the frocks; Brad's distinctively cool vocal, and choruses made to be sung aloud. The full cycle is fitting for the fact that they've recently been revisiting the venues that they had cut their teeth in. There's something particularly humbling about the boys, who still show admiration for McFly, who took them under their wing, and they reminisce on smaller gigs despite filling out arenas twice over.

           It ultimately comes down to the brotherly connection that they share. 'Stay' is gorgeous with their natural harmonies and intertwining riffs. Connor and Brad wrote 'Paper Hearts' together, and the collaboration makes it a firm favourite. "We'd finished a long day writing a song that never actually made the album,' Connor explains, "and then I just played the guitar part and Brad sang over it and then we finished that song in like ten minutes, and that made the album and the other one didn't." Just ten songs made the cut, and they're placed in an order purposely. "Each song has its own meaning that you can take away,' and they were picked out very specifically. think that reflects the journey that The Vamps has had," says James. 'Paper Heart' stands out on the album for this exact reason, it instantly grabs your attention as a gentle, heartfelt confession. The Vamps' approach to song-writing cradles this very delicate imagery, making the song wistful, yet hopeful. Honestly, it's angelic and moving, you know that it just had to be written.

           So they've played with futuristic EDM, and pulled it off as "a band doing EDM, but with, like, guitars leading it." Solid. Injected some funk and groovy clapping rhythms, and bared their souls with acoustic moments that drag you back down to earth. In the ultimate bearpit of pop, The Vamps have sharpened their claws without even intending to. Do they care about the pressure of boybands? Do they hell. They don't even acknowledge that it exists. "We just do our thing and the outside perspective, we don't take it into account. For us it doesn't become a thing, though other bands may worry about it," they say with a shrug, keen to get back to talking about conspiracy theories - Tristan would have loved to be a fly-on-the-wail with Winston Churchill, James with JFK during the Cuban Missile Crisis, Connor just wanted to watch Nirvana play live, and Brad would have been massively involved in Beatlemania.

           Fans have grown up with The Vamps, we've moved through the motions of life with them. These changes, the experimentation, the lyrics: they're real and they're in the moment. They're The Vamps, and boy are they good.

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

MY TOP 10 SONGS OF 2018

Disclaimer: These are certainly not the “best” in terms of musical quality, nor are they what I think are the “best.”  They’re not even my favorite songs of 2018.  They are simply the 10 songs I find to be most defined the year 2018 for me.

I think the first thing I should mention is that Rihanna had released absolutely zero songs this year.  She did not even feature on one, which is the first year that this has happened ever since she started her career.  This also means this is the very first time she has not made this list.  Hope to hear new music in 2019!  I would also like to give an honorable mention to “Lost in Japan” by Shawn Mendes which was on this list before I arranged it.

10. “Give Yourself a Try” by The 1975

And I was 25 and afraid to go outside A millennial that baby-boomers like Won't you give yourself a try?

I had the honor of seeing The 1975 live in 2017, and it was an incredible show.  The band’s lights perfectly matched the mood of each of the songs, taking the crowd through an emotional rollercoaster.  Most notably their hit “Somebody Else” took everyone to a different place.  Their 2018 release, A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships, is another definitive 1975 album, with songs like “Be My Mistake,” “Sincerity is Scary,” “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You),” “Surrounded by Heads and Bodies,” “Mine,” and “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” being my favorites.  “Give Yourself a Try” gets the 10th place on this list because it was the most prominent single that made the biggest impact on me.  In true 1975 manner, it lyrically dives into a dark place with mentions of fear of growing old, STDs, suicide, depression, and drug addiction, but all oddly over Joy Division’s “Disorder” bright guitar riff and bouncy drums.  This song is the epitome of singer and writer Matt Healy’s open honesty about such subjects but in a positive way, moreso as advice given to their younger selves but more importantly their fans.  Ironically, I also struggled with anxiety and depression when I was 25, so this song speaks to me in that you’re never alone and you live and you learn.  He’s encouraging us to let go of all those fears and things that don’t matter and really give ourselves a try.

9. “Get It” by Busta Rhymes featuring Missy Elliott and Kelly Rowland

Every time we step up in the spot Homie, I'ma take yo shine from you Homie, you ain't got the slightest clue Diamonds'll shine with the brightest blue

I’m not the biggest Busta Rhymes fan, but he has been such a constant presence ever since I was little, so his songs have always gotten me hyped up.  Even moreso, Missy Elliott was always playing in the house when I was little.  “Get Ur Freak On” was one of the most memorable tracks of my childhood.  Last but certainly not least, Kelly Rowland is absolutely one of my favorite singers ever.  Her new single “Kelly” was her first main artist release in five years and it does not disappoint.  It’s such a banger, and I love how she continues to grow in her confidence.  Something about having all three of these people on one track really got me going.  It felt like bringing back my childhood but also felt so fresh.  Busta and Missy do not hold back, and their raps were a stark contrast to the ever-popular mumble rap of 2018.  Not saying that there’s anything wrong with mumble rap necessarily; it’s just not my cup of tea.  My only gripe with this song is I wish that Kelly was on it more than just the sample.  Even then, I can’t be that mad because it goes so hard!

8. “Love Lies” by Khalid and Normani

If you're down, don't hide it Feelin' me, you don't gotta deny it Baby you gon' make me overnight it Tell me, are you down?

Last year, Khalid’s “Location” made my 2017 list.  I had mentioned that none of his other tracks really stood out to me, but I was hopeful for his future releases.  Well, “Love Lies” certainly does not disappoint.  Again, the slower, bumping R&B beat really supported Khalid’s smooth, deeper vocals sliding on top.  I am a sucker for duets, and who better to add to this track than the smoothest Fifth Harmony member Normani.  While she vocally may be on the weaker end of her former group, her voice perfectly fits this type of song as it flows over the deeper sounds.  Normani just oozes sexiness too as she adds a little bit of flair to both the video and live performances of this song with some choreography.  She really made 2018 her own, and I look forward to her future releases as well!  The only thing that is holding this track back for me is that it is for a film, Love, Simon.  I’m always wary of made-for-film songs because I’m not sure how true the artists of the song are being to the piece itself or if has been molded to fit the film’s narrative or theme.

7. “All the Stars” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA

I hate people that feel entitled Look at me crazy 'cause I ain't invite you Oh, you important? You the moral to the story, you endorsing? ..., I don't even like you

I’ve been following SZA for a few years now, and I have to say that she is really making a name for herself and changing the R&B game.  Of all the megahits this year, this is easily my favorite.  It’s received one Oscar nomination and four Grammy nominations, and it deserves every ounce of the respect it’s been given.  The simple rocking beat serves as a metronome for some more complicated percussion as Kendrick expertly serves his flow, slowly introducing the synths and strings that allow SZA to take the song to an otherworldly place.  The music video is absolutely stunning too.  Like “Love Lies,” however, this song is held back for me in that it was also made for a film, Black Panther.  I am not saying either of these films are bad necessarily, in fact, they were both fun movies.  I’m just saying I wonder where these artists could have taken these songs if they were completely untied from any other projects.

6. “We Don’t Care” by Sigala featuring The Vamps

Try to keep my composure Would be easy if I was sober But you keep getting closer And I'm feeling alright

Another artist that was on my top 2017 songs, The Vamps had several bops this year, including singles “Too Good to Be True,” “Hair Too Long,” and “Just My Type” and non-singles “What Your Father Says” and “Cheap Wine.”  I had the opportunity to not only see these guys perform live but also finally meet them!  They were the nicest dudes, and it was definitely a highlight of the year.  My favorite 2018 release by them though was their feature on Sigala’s “We Don’t Care.”  Even though it’s not their track, it harkens back to many Vamps songs just about having a good time, and that stress-free nature is why I love them.  Sigala certainly knew how to make the best of this collaboration, and I feel like I’ll be dancing to this for years to come.

5. “Tempo” by EXO

I can’t believe 기다렸던 이런 느낌 (oh) 나만 듣고 싶은 그녀는 나의 멜로디

For reasons I will explain later in this post (see entry #3), I have officially fallen in love with K-pop, and in my search to find more K-pop artists to love, I have oddly landed back to one that I saw live a few years ago, EXO.  In 2015 or 2016, my friend Brit became “ill” to K-pop fever and fell in love with EXO.  As someone who claims to love all genres (with a few exceptions), she asked me to go with her to their concert in 2016.  I did not hesitate at the opportunity, and while I saw that they were truly talented, something held me back from loving them at the time.  While I had never really been a K-pop fan in the past, I was aware of what they could deliver.  When it came to boybands in particular, I was aware of Big Bang, Super Junior, and SHINee and how different their songs were from American and European music beyond the language they are sung or rapped in.  However, I found EXO’s repertoire to be quite lackluster at the time.  This was before the release of Ex’Act, so their biggest hits at the time were “Growl,” “Overdose,” “Call Me Baby,” and “Love Me Right.”  With the exception of “Overdose,” these songs as well as a lot of their other songs sounded too familiar.  They were safe R&B vibes, and as someone who grew up with R&B, these songs did not stand out to me.  “Overdose” was somewhat of a highlight, but it was still just a bit lacking to me.  My favorite song of theirs at the time became “Wolf” (and Brit aptly made fun of me for it lol).  Sure, “Wolf” gets made fun of because it’s kind of a mess of a song, but that’s why I love it.  It’s so out there and experimental.  It was EXO trying to find their voice.  It wasn’t safe; every aspect of it goes hard (maybe too hard).  The icing on the cake that “Overdose” was missing?  Chen!  Let me quickly explain my love for Chen.  This man (who I’m exactly only 10 days older than!) has the voice of an angel.  Even back then when I went to their concert and couldn’t remember any of their names for the life of me, I remember telling Brit, “The one with the cheekbones has the best voice!”  And while “best” is debatable with Baekhyun and D.O. in the group (and even compared to other vocal powerhouses like Super Junior-K.R.Y., and y’all, don’t you dare sleep on Suho), Chen still stands out to me because his vocal quality is 100% the kind of voice that I wish I had.  He has this vibrant, clear tenor timbre to his voice that I find so pleasing.  Chen is apparently the least favorite EXO member for whatever reason (maybe he’s the ugliest? idk, I’m not a girl/don’t like men), and some people say his voice is less emotional than the others.  I disagree, as I think the lightness in his voice just puts the emotion in a different place where people aren’t used to hearing it.  Regardless, since “Overdose” was made when they had the EXO-K and EXO-M split before, it largely lacked Chen vocals, and he goes hard in “Wolf.”  All this to say, when I revisited EXO’s discography this year, it was chock-full of hit after hit that finally filled that sweet-tooth K-pop craving.  They were no longer standard R&B hits.  They were each creative directions, starting with “Monster” which built off of many of the same vibes as “Wolf” and “Overdose” but with more expertise and a healthy dose of Chen (“Don’t be afraid / Love is the way / Shawty I got it / You can call me monster” what an english-god! lol), to “Ko Ko Bop” which is a reggae fusion smash (if you know that I love Rihanna, then you gotta know that I love me some reggae fusion and who knew that it would fuse so well with K-pop), to the infectiously fun and upbeat “Power” that they performed at the Olymics closing ceremony.

Now let me finally get to why I am obsessed with “Tempo.”  Chen opens the song with “I can’t believe” and then silence.  I am a Chen fan, so you know I’m already hooked.  Then the synths come back in and there are some a capella elements.  Baekhyun dares to sing over Chen (just kidding, he sounds good too obviously).  Once Chen is done singing, the drums come in leading into the chorus, with the bed squeak which is a R&B/hip hop sample staple.  To be clear, I never wanted EXO to leave their R&B roots; I just wanted that and more from them, and this song is it.  After the second verse, instead of going back to the chorus, they hit this alternate “slowed down” version of the chorus which again hits different R&B vibes, and this beautiful piano brings us to the a capella portion and oh my.  Then Chen’s scream signals the piano, drums, synth, squeaky bed, and everything to go into the last chorus.  And let’s not forget his Michael Jackson-esque ad-lib.  The line distribution was mostly fair too.  I mean, obviously I’m biased, but Sehun got a whole rap section.  If anyone, Xiumin and D.O. (and Sehun) probably could have used more lines somehow.  Lay was even in the Chinese version (though I’m not sure how many songs he was gone for?)  But honestly, zero complaints here.  GET IT GUYS.

4. “Remind Me to Forget” by Kygo featuring Miguel

I need you to let go I got these mementos And I'll be alright

Shortly after my breakup this year, I still had tickets to see Miguel and no one to go with.  So I asked my ex if she still wanted to go, and she did.  He performed all my favorite songs by him, including “Adorn,” “Sure Thing,” and “Pineapple Skies.”  It was kind of an ethereal experience in a way.  A huge amount of his repertoire is baby-making music, and boy did that make a mood that night.  I’m not sure if she realized it, but Miguel was actually what I put on during our second date (I also just remembered that his song was on when we had our first kiss during our first date).  But this song (which he did not perform but played afterwards as everyone was leaving the venue) is lyrically actually so significant to that relationship.  Kygo’s echoey instrumentals was a match made in heaven for Miguel’s soaring vocals, and while the song doesn’t exactly convey pain, it beautifully encapsulates letting go of a relationship.  I still like my ex as a friend, but from experience we know that’s all it should be.

3. “Ddu-Du Ddu-Du” by BLACKPINK

두 번 생각해 흔한 남들처럼 착한 척은 못 하니까 착각하지 마 쉽게 웃어주는 건 날 위한 거야

All right, here’s how I became ill with K-pop fever.  As I’ve mentioned in entry #5, I try to be a lover of all genres of music.  I’m not perfect; I have a few dislikes: parodies (because I want the originals to stand out), covers and remixes (for the same reason), anything I find lyrically too heavy or too opposed to my values, and anything that includes too much screaming.  When it comes to falling in love with a genre, I’ve noticed I have a trend: I fall in love with a girl.  Sometimes it’s an actual girl that I meet, but most of the time it’s one of the singers.  R&B, hip hop, and pop is what I naturally grew up with, but Paramore got me into rock, Kelly Rowland’s collaboration with David Guetta got me into EDM, Whitney Houston got me into 80′s music, Carrie Underwood got me into country, etc.  As I’ve also mentioned, K-pop has been on my radar for several years now.  I’ve never been opposed to it (with one-ish exception, which I will get to), but I’ve just never fallen in love with it myself.  My first real exposure was about 10 years ago from my friend Kalvin.  I specifically remember hearing Girls’ Generation/SNSD’s “Gee” non-stop, and I couldn’t blame him.  It was catchy!  At the time, though I honestly was having trouble loving my identity as an Asian.  My younger self wanted to be white or black or latino.  Why?  Because if you looked at America’s standard of who was famous and attractive, there were barely any Asians, and the Asians who were there were women (Lucy Liu).  Anyways, Kalvin and a few other friends such as my prom date Esther introduced me to a few more K-pop artists over the years: Super Junior, Kara, Big Bang (and G-Dragon and Taeyang’s solo music), T-ara, 2NE1, and f(x).  I liked them, but again, I never fell in love with them.  Then, Psy’s “Gangnam Style” came into the picture.  I hated it so much because I knew this song would be many people’s first impressions of K-pop.  Psy’s talent aside, it was a song and video that was intended to be funny, almost like a parody.  This perpetuated the Western thought of Asian men being only smart and funny, not sexy.  Years later, BTS came into the picture.  While I didn’t fall in love with them either, I supported them because they are a K-pop artist that America is actually taking seriously.  Around the time I heard about BTS was also the time I first heard about BLACKPINK.  When it comes to pop music, the girls I like the most are in my opinion not too girly (i.e. SNSD) but also not too unconventional (i.e. 2NE1).  I think Rihanna is a good example of that balance.  She’ll sometimes wear all pink and sometimes go with a completely baggy hip hop vibe, but most of the time she stays somewhere in between.  When I heard “Boombayah” a few years ago, this song was so close to being my K-pop drug, but the “oppa!” and the chanting at the end of the song killed it for me.  Stars did not align back then.

This year, as I continued to grow up, I learned to love my Asian identity more than ever.  2017 was a hear of depression and anxiety and just overall hating myself, so I made a conscious decision to love myself more in all ways.  It just so happened that 2018 was the year of films like Crazy Rich Asians and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.  The former took a man who I find to be an average or slightly above average looking man (like the Ryan Seacrest of Asia) Henry Golding and made him into a superstar.  He even got to star alongside one of my favorites Blake Lively in A Simple Favor as her husband.  This amongst other things did wonders for me in viewing myself and Asians as attractive and equally viable partners.  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before did something else for me.  With that movie, I realized I wanted more young Asian celebrities to fill this void of “there are no sexy Asians” because if I have a child, that child will undoubtedly be at least half Asian.  I want that child to grow up to be confident in who they are and find themselves to be absolutely beautiful or handsome.  All this to say, yes, I finally started seeing Asian girls as sexy.  Then, “Ddu-Du Ddu-Du” dropped and my life was changed lol.  Here were four sexy women (Jisoo is my bias!!) singing and rapping a song that was perfectly in between girly and unconventional.  It wasn’t the usual bubblegum pop girly K-pop, and I loved it.  After listening to it two billion times, I needed something similar, so I went back to “Boombayah.”  I found “Whistle” and then the gateways flooded.  I now listen to pretty much every K-pop artist I previously listed and more.  I am so proud of these girls charting higher on the Hot 100 than any other K-pop artist other than BTS and Psy.  I sincerely hope either BLACKPINK or BTS (or anyone really) beat Psy’s record (thank God for Maroon 5 for preventing Psy to ever hitting #1).  Here’s to hopefully a full BLACKPINK album next year and more Asian sexiness!

2. “Dangerous Night” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

I, I am a man on fire You, a violent desire

From the get-go, you can tell that this is not your ordinary Thirty Seconds to Mars track, and that’s because Zedd’s producer mark on it is undeniable.  I absolutely love the America album, especially “Rescue Me,” “Great Wide Open,” “Hail to the Victor,” and “Live Like a Dream.”  However, Zedd’s spin with “Dangerous Night” makes it hopelessly catchy.  It takes the recklessness of entry #6 and combines it with the tumultuous relationship of entry #4.  Above all, I had the opportunity to see Thirty Seconds to Mars live and to meet them in person.  What a wild night!  It was one of the best experiences of 2018.  The Leto brothers are so kind and rocked the night away.  They fought with security a couple times to let fans do what they wanted (in still a safe way).  And the absolute best part was that they invited a random select few in the crowd to go up... including me!  It was insane being on stage with my favorite band singing one of my favorite songs “Closer to the Edge” in front of thousands of people.  INSANE!  Truly a night I will never forget.

1. “Never Be the Same” by Camila Cabello

And I could try to run, but it would be useless You're to blame Just one hit of you, I knew I'll never be the same

Someone who is just looking at this list and my list from last year (where Camila also made #1) might think I’m obsessed with her haha.  I swear I’m not.  Rihanna will always be my true number one.  I honestly don’t even like that many more Camila songs than this and “I Have Questions” (last year’s number one).   I mean, I like her songs, but those two are the stand outs for me.  Anyways, Camila’s unique voice and creative runs take the cake here on this track over the equally addictive synths and drum beats.  Lyrically, the song is about being forever changed by a relationship that she doesn’t outright say is bad but heavily hints at it with the imagery she uses.  It’s kind of a love song but has the feeling of a breakup or near breakup song.  After my first date with my ex, we sat in my car for a long time just listening to the radio and while there were several cute moments like singing Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé’s “Perfect” together, one thing I remember is staring into her eyes while this song was playing.  Throughout our relationship, it became apparent that we were bad for each other in a way.  And in many ways, I will never be the same.  I don’t regret it.  I’ve learned so many things.  But yeah, even though this is not my favorite song of 2018, it is definitely the most 2018 song to describe my year.

[chaos-and-recover]

I was tagged by @nikkihorrorxx to post 10 songs I’ve been vibin’ to lately. I did this a few weeks ago but!!! I wanna do it again because I have new additions and want to share links so you can all get on my level.

1. Lucky Boys Confusion - Burn A Little Brighter This whole album, and this song specifically, have pretty much been my #1 go-to listen since it came out in early April. I didn’t even know they were working on a new album (they haven’t released anything since like 2008 and I lost track of them entirely), but saw a post on a different band’s Instagram about this album, cried (like... actually), and bought it right away. Knew all the words within like a week and a half and have been checking their site for tour dates outside the Chicago area and/or hoping for a show on a date when I can travel to see them because I love them so much. This song, specifically, since the first time I heard it has just stayed with me.

2. Dreamcar - All Of The Dead Girls So now all of you who don’t know wtf my URL is about can understand, since I changed it like as soon as I heard this song and then... never post about Dreamcar because I have a sideblog for that (well no, I have a sideblog for AFI but it’s been taken over by Dreamcar). It’s new-wavey af and incredibly catchy, and “all the dead girls love me, the gone boys too” is, for me, evocative of something very specific when sung by Davey Havok and I’m all about it.

3. Paramore - Idle Worship On my last list I put Rose Colored Boy because it was literally in my head at the time I wrote it, but now that I’ve listened to After Laughter like... a lot, this is the song that really stands out for me. 

4. New Kids On The Block - Still Sounds Good To Me Look I’m absolute boyband trash at all times forever. The New Kids are goddamn kryptonite for me. This song is not good. I can’t find a quality version of it on YouTube, just some live versions where it’s part of a medley of other songs from their current tour, but trust me when I say it isn’t actually a good song. It is objectively not good. I know this. But it samples 99 Red Balloons, and like. My love for that song is almost as eternal as my love for garbage boybands. This dumb ass middle aged boyband is very, very good at putting out music that isn’t good but that I want to listen to all the time. They’ve ruined my life.

5. AFI - Still A Stranger This is the song that properly sold me on The Blood Album, because I wasn’t sure about it at first, but I really, really love something about this song. Maybe it reminds me of the kind of AFI songs I originally fell in love with? I don’t know, it’s just my favourite.

6. July Talk - Beck + Call I really need this band to be bigger so I can go off about their aesthetic and performance and the duality of their vocalists and how they play with power, relationship and gender dynamics and people won’t look at me like I’m crazy. Also I’m low key in love with their bassist. Also if they do get bigger (I mean they’re already fairly big here, on the radio all the goddamn time and co-headlining a 16,000 seat venue this month but like... internationally) I’m gonna do my best not to bitch about before they were cool. Well not too much.  Please like July Talk.

7. Jimmy Eat World - The End Is Beautiful The designated slow jam of this list. I find this ballad about letting go of the pain of a past relationship absolutely stunning.

8. Take That - New Day This might be the video that finally gets me into this album, because I love it so much and it’s made me like the song a lot more which makes me want to give the whole album a proper chance, so yeah, I’m into it.

9. Zedd feat. Alessia Cara - Stay I’ve liked Zedd for a while and I will stan the crap out of anything Alessia does, and I’m so thrilled for her and everything she’s achieving so yeah I’m kind of all about this song.

10. July Talk - Lola + Joseph I’m not fucking around about my love for July Talk, you guys.

Anyway everyone should do this cause it’s fun and I wanna know what you’re listening to!

[itwilltoteshappen]

I know Harry has performed on TV for millions & to crowds close to 100k. But this kid must be so nervous about being on SNL all by himself for the 1st time. What a debut as a solo artist, but SNL can be an unforgiving stage, esp with a song as soaring & long as SOTT. I can't imagine H having vocal problems, even when he's sick & his voice is weak, he rocks. I can't recall a performance in years where his nerves have been an issue. But I'm nervous for him! Remember Lana Del Ray & Ashlee Simpson?

ahahahaa I totally forgot about the Ashlee Simpson debacle!!  wow that brings it back.  Thankfully I highly Highly HIGHLY doubt Harry will use a backing track so we won’t have to worry about that.  And yeah, I totally remember the backlash that Lana Del Rey got as well.  Even recently, a friend of mine was bitching about Solange’s performance (I didn’t see it, but my friend had Strong Opinions).  

 Almost every artist who’s done SNL says how weird the performance space is and how incredibly nerve wracking it is, more so than any other venue.  I don’t know what it is about that space in particular- the size, the set up, the history, the energy in the air....but it’s definitely a weird one. Even performers who don’t get nervous still...get nervous there.  

Side note: I actually watched a few of One Direction’s SNL performances this morning as I was starting to respond to this and I actually started getting legit angry that they weren’t taken seriously as actual artists and not a silly boyband because their performances were pretty damn solid.

As for vocal problems, I mean....that’s kind of My Thing(tm) especially because I’ve been concerned for his vocal health since i joined fandom.  He’s had some super bad habits that are pretty dangerous.  On the recording of SOTT he sounds fantastic...because i’m super picky there’s like one or two things that I hear where I’m like “ooooh boy be carefulllll....” but nothing that’s legitimately concerning. The only reason it even sets off alarms in my mind is because of how he’s done things in the past and this is just kind of on the edge of it.  if he slips, he could fall hard into Bad  Technique Territory again.   And yes, even if he does do that, he’ll still give a great performance.  That’s never really been a problem (in fact that’s probably one of the CAUSES of his poor technique- he wants so much to give a good performance he’ll sacrifice vocal health for that one night...which turns into two nights...which turns into an entire tour.....). 

 This isn’t me putting him or his talent down by any means, and honestly most people listening won’t care or notice, but this song in particular, because of where it sits in his voice, is really taxing if not sung properly.  Again, I’m gonna be wayyyy pickier than most people about these things (and god, if you think I’M picky about it, you should hear Actual Musical Theatre people discussing pop stars’ techniques.  I promise you, you’ll want to punch someone in the face.  Lord knows I do often.  Bless.) I just want him to be able to sing it for years to come and sing it as well as he does on the recording and he will if he keeps up with whatever technique he’s worked on during his hiatus..