#it seems i've found yet another way to give you a present that isn't an actual present

[naraven]

Dear Stray Dog Anon,

Your matchup has been complete! After some deliberation, Doctor, we think you would best have this person as your next assistant:

THORNS

cw // she/her doctor (anon goes by she/her), slight yandere, drugging, slightly obsessive, slightly possessive

A most reliable operator and pharmacologist, I can see the two of you getting along well on the battlefield and in a lab together!

Thorns will be the first to tell you that he's not a very likeable person at first. Not that he cares, but you're... likeable in a way that he's never seen before.

You command him well. Almost every time you depart with him on the team, everything seems to be well timed and perfectly placed. You know how he works in combat to a T. You celebrate by giving him an awkward thumbs up, despite the confidence in your voice while coldly dropping him down into the fight not even half and hour ago.

And off the field, he notices more and more the oddity that you are. For some reason you despise any gifts you've been given. Any present or surprise gift has you smiling shakily, giving the impression that you're just a bit shy, yet reel back in what looks like fear the moment you think you're alone.

When Thorns met you for for the first time, he tested the waters. He offered you a drink, mixed in with his newest concoction, and found himself secretly pleased with the curt rejection.

"It's not for you. I want to see the effects of my creation."

And he's even more pleased when you bring it to your lips hesitantly, and then gulp it all down in three large swallows. Soon enough, he had you testing out his more... adventurous ideas under the guise of research.

On a rare moment where you have some free time, you go to see what he's up to in his lab. As usual, he's cooking up something that results in what he thinks is a rather mild explosion.

When he sees you running up to him, he mentally prepares himself for a scolding from the Doctor herself. Turning, he opens his mouth to defend himself, before-

"What was that? Are you okay- wow, you smell like a barbecue, haha!"

He pushes you away when you start smelling the soot in his hair. Tussling his hair to shake out the dust, he pushes you back when you get closer to him again.

As The Doctor of Rhodes Island, he gives and takes knowledge. Granted, he isn't an Infected, but hearing you give mini lectures between breaks in your office had him learning more about Originium that he had ever expected. The visuals on your tiny whiteboard served to further help him grasp certain topics.

Both of your favorite activities to do together is to wake up a bit early, go up to the roof of the landship, and feel the wind blowing back in silence. The clouds passing by, the cool breeze, and the nostalgia of it all. You only return back inside when the sun becomes too bright and work has to be finished.

"Doctor? It's the Doctor!"

Thorns turns around when he hears a bright, high voice call your moniker. A group of young, Infected patients come running as the two of you were walking around the Rhodes Island landship for a quick break from paperwork and the droning of the radio.

"Doctor! I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Who's this, Doctor?"

"Doctor, that candy you gave me the other day got stolen by my sister, can I have another one?"

He sees you wobble as one of the kids tugs at your overcoat. Throwing up your hands in mock surrender, you get down on a knee to approach them at an equal level.

"Alright, one at a time. Sorry, I've been busy with a lot of work. This is Operator Thorns, say hi! He's super smart and cool, so be sure to treat him well! And here, a piece of candy for all of you."

The children cheer, only for a Medic operator to turn the corner and bring them all back to their rooms. They all complain and whine, all of them wailing to have you come back with them.

"Doctor? Sorry about them, they all just underwent a couple tests. I'll get them off your back."

She seems really tired. Thorns remains standing off to the side, combing through his choppy hair.

"Well, I would love to, guys, but Thorns and I have a lot to get done. Maybe if you kids are good, I can drop by later, okay?"

A chorus of "okay!" echo back, and they all burst into excited chatter, leaving you and Thorns to continue your little walk.

"I didn't know you had such high opinion about me."

"Haha, well, we've been working together for how long? Shouldn't some kind of mutual respect be forming between us?"

You elbow him playfully, and he fiddles around with some test potions.

"Here. Catch."

"Woah!"

Carelessly, he tosses you a small vial. Instead of the usual yellow thick liquid, this one is purple and seems a lot thinner.

"And... this is?"

He straightens out his cuffed sleeve. Raising your brows, you throw your head back and belch at the taste.

"Ew. That might be the worst one you've given me yet."

Thorns is quiet. "Is it?"

"Yeah? Why, is it not... supposed to be?"

"No, I wouldn't know what it would taste like."

Scrunching your nose, you sniff the leftover content of the liquid inside. It smells... kind of burnt.

"Did you mess this one up? It stinks. Funky."

Thorns gestures for you to pass him the vial, and he takes a sniff himself.

"Hm. It was perfect."

Huh?

"Then... What even is that?"

He pops the vial shut, and suddenly you feel a surge of vertigo.

"Thorns, what the f-"

You can't even finish your sentence before he opens his arms. You fill into the gaps between his body, and you panic when you feel your fingertips getting numb.

"Operator Thorns, what do you think you're doing."

He sets you down. Strangely, you stay fully conscious, and the dizzy spell a moment ago is gone. Only the numbing sensation spreads, and soon your entire arms lose feeling.

"Don't worry. This feeling won't last long. I suspect the numbness to be gone within three or four hours, and nothing else will happen."

You struggle to feel... anything.

"I... don't even know what to tell you."

"Then don't. You keep your words brief during operations."

"That's because it's necessary." You snap. "I'm losing my patience here. Get me back to my office or something."

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

Because... I need you for just a couple hours more, he wants to say. You've been busy doing work without engaging with him, and you sleep in more and more. I want to be with you for just a little longer, where you can't run, where we can just talk.

I need you away from other people. I need you to stay with me. I want you, I need you, I crave more of you.

"Because." He starts. "You need me."

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley) (Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 12

The rest of the week was me tending to my farm and working on getting my house looking presentable. For three days, I had woken up to Robin working on the renovations I requested. I finally have a kitchen and bedroom now. My bed's been pushed over to the other room, and I threw my groceries into the fridge, in the cupboards, and on my counter.

A few of my crops were harvestable as well. I got to sell some of those and purchase furniture. There is now a couch and wallpaper to make it feel more cozy and inviting. It's actually pretty spacious now with the renovations complete.

The townsfolk have also really warmed up to me as well. They've sent me plenty of things in the mail to help my career, and also recipes since I now have a kitchen.

I have even tried visiting the mines up in the mountains. It's not fun there. There were so many creepy crawlies that attacked me down there. I didn't think I'd make it out alive. I figured out what the Hat Mouse was talking about as well with the museum. I found things in the rocks I've broken open with my pickaxe that are supposed to go in the museum. I haven't found everything yet, but I found quite a bit.

I haven't seen Haley around town for a bit either. Our paths just haven't crossed like they have been lately. I guess I wouldn't find her going to the mines though. That's probably the last place I'd see her.

When I was up near the mines, I took a little adventure to the train station area and noticed there was some sort of building by it that I hadn't noticed before. That's where I was heading to today since I need a break from all the work I've been doing. There are a lot of places I haven't explored yet and that building is one of them.

The sign above the door of the building says 'Bath' in bold letters with a bunch of writing beneath it. I didn't bother reading, I just walked in. My curiosity got the best of me.

The room I entered felt like a scene from a horror movie. It's dimly lit with two doors directly across from me. Besides a picture of a bathtub between the two doors, there were no other decorations.

I walked up to the two doors to get a closer look. One has a 'W' sign plastered on it while the other has an 'M' one. I tug on the door with the 'W' not expecting it to open, but it does. The force of my tug flings it wide open, nearly knocking me over in the process.

Inside, there is a long row of stalls on the right side, with a small locker area on the left. I toss my bag into one of them and keep walking down a hallway. I pass by a large vanity and shower room, and reach a small change room. There seems to be a set of clothes neatly folded up on one of the stools. Unfortunately, I was unprepared to go swimming and didn't bring a bathing suit. I stripped off my clothes so I could just go in my bra and panties. At the other end of the change room was another door which I assume led to the bath/spa. I push open the door and walk in.

The bath area was unexpectedly, insanely large. Gentle music plays over speakers scattered around the room and steam from the heat of the bath floods the air, giving it a relaxing vibe. There are a few chairs facing the bath area at the front of the room for lounging if taking a dip isn't what you are in the mood for. The side deck of the bath leads all the way around the water area, so I start pacing around, examining the water before getting in. I came to a narrowed area of the bath and walked around the corner that leads to another large water lounging area. It's not as big as the first area though, but still pretty big.

A mess of blonde hair tied up in a claw clip sticks out of the water, along with a pair of bare shoulders with frilly straps wrapping over them. There appears to be a bottle of wine behind her on the bath deck. She hasn't noticed me walking in yet.

"Hey Haley," I call out, making my voice echo against the walls of the bath. Haley screams and flails around to look at me.

"What are you doing here?! You scared me!" she slurs. She is definitely drunk.

"I saw this place when I came in on the train and decided to finally check it out." I responded. I still haven't gotten in the bath yet. Haley doesn't seem to mind because she is aggressively checking me out. The farm work has really toned my body some and I have slight abs now.

"You have such a good looking body..." Haley completely disregarded what I had just said. She is now leaning her head down on her hands on the ledge of the deck, staring up at me with admiration. She holds her hand up to me for me to take. Obediently, I bend over to take her hand and walk down the steps next to her that lead into the water. She doesn't let go of my hand and drags me over to her bottle of wine. "Want some?"

Handing the bottle over without me even answering, I take it out of her hands and open it. There was only about a drop left. I look over to her and raise my eyebrow.

"Oops. It was full when I got here..." she giggles.

I put the bottle back on the ledge and prop my elbows up behind me on the same ledge. I watch Haley dance over to me and put her arms around my neck.

"You know... Alex and I would come here to... you know..." she puts her hands up in front of my face and motions a finger into a hole made by her other fingers, "... you're lucky you didn't catch us doing that."

I made a disgusted face. I hope they clean the water of this place. "I'm sure glad I didn't walk in on that. That is not a sight I'd want to see," I awkwardly say.

"What? You don't want to see all this?" she boldly undoes her bikini and slips her top off. I quickly avert my gaze to the wall.

"Haley, put your top back on. You are drunk," I demand politely, "you will be extremely embarrassed tomorrow by the decisions you are making right now."

"I doubt it," she takes my face in her hands and turns my head so I am looking into her eyes. Her cheeks are rosy from the heat of the bath as well as from the alcohol flowing through her. I try really hard to keep my eyes on hers and not look down. "You need to relaaaaxx, that's what this place is for. It's not like you haven't seen boobs before."

"Yeah but-" I begin. Haley puts her finger to my lips before I can finish my sentence.

"Relax. Turn around," she spins me around before I could protest or question her. She takes my shoulders into her hands and starts massaging. Instantly feeling relaxed, I hunch over and lean on the bath deck.

Her soft hands move all over my back and neck. She has traced every prominent muscle on my back, as well as played connect the dots with my freckles. Not only do I have severe goosebumps all over, I have nearly fallen asleep once or twice.

"You really do have such a nice body," she says again as she traces my shoulder blade.

"Are you jealous?" I mumble while giving her a sleepy flex of my bicep. The flex always makes her giggle and blush. Without even seeing her, I can picture her reaction.

"In a way..." her hands travel down my arms causing more goosebumps to arise.

"Just work on a farm. You'll get this body no problem," I sit up and smack my bicep a couple times. "Might take some time since you are so dainty and perfect, but you'd get there."

"So if I work on a farm...I'd get your body?" She questions me with a hint of sing song in her voice.

"I mean yeah that's what I just said," I tease, "you'll be all muscly and ripped in no time. Not sure why you'd want to be-"

"That's not what I meant."

That causes me to whip around with a face of shock. Haley is giving me a little smirk and looking at my lips. Since I am facing her now, she traces along my collarbone.

"I- um-" I'm at a loss for words. Her hand has traveled to just above my chest. When sober Haley finds out what happened, she'd freak. "Listen, I'm not rejecting you, but you are drunk. You won't remember anything you are saying to me and you'll regret everything you even said." I respond softly, taking her by the shoulders and backing her up.

I think Haley has realized what she has said. Her face drops and she kind of stares off into the distance with tears welling up in her eyes. "I- I- didn't... mean that. I'm sorry." She grabs her bikini top, throws it back on, grabs the wine bottle and leaves.

I sink down so the water is just over my shoulders, and put my head in my hands. I remain that way for the rest of the day.

[theinstagrahame]

This is the post where I show off the stuff I've gotten in the last month-ish. And it's been another good one!

(I mean it's always a good one, I have excellent taste)

Coffee and Chaos: I'm tickled by the concept of a coffeeshop AU, and I know that this game isn't explicitly for that. But it's also not *not* for that. Comes in a like conference-style folder, with all the bits you need to play tucked into the sides, which is also a great presentation that I felt deserved a shout-out!

Far Horizons Guide to Cults: I'm friendly with some Far Horizons folks, but wanted this book because it's awesome. A book containing notes and pre-made cults that have goals and drives beyond just "Be A Cult". I am intrigued by the occult, and I hope this gives me more nuance.

Neurocity: Picked this up on vibes alone, but I'm hearing more and more rad things about the creator. It's dystopic, a little cyberpunk, and the book is dripping with style. Can't wait to dig deeper.

You're In Space and Everything's Fucked: Station and Struggler's Guides: The title alone sold me, but I like what Dinoberry Press puts out in general. This is a solo survival space horror game with a cool respawn mechanic. I also splurged on the fancy version because the covers are very cool.

Dead Belt: The pleather folio for this honestly is what sold me, but the game itself is really cool. Salvage ships by laying out cards, exploring, and managing your air and tool resources. Try not to die. I haven't really succeeded at that last part yet...

Exquisite Corpse in the Maggot's Keep: Technically, this isn't a TTRPG, but it's go so many TTRPG folks in it that it might as well be. It's a choosable path adventure written by a variety of people in (if I remember the pitch) exquisite corpse style.

Best Left Buried: Throne of Avarice and In Calamity's Wake: As we already know, I'm a SoulMuppet fan (as in, I've written for their other big series, Orbital Blues). The main book, Throne of Avarice, was written by a creator whose work I've been trying to get more of. I haven't read Best Left Buried as fully as a game, but I am really excited by the excuse to dig in.

Between Clouds: I like air islands and big monsters and found family. Partially, I grabbed this because a friend got really excited about it, and it seemed like it could be fun to run a campaign with them, but I'm also curious about the Year Zero Engine, and glad to see people using it.

Kitchen Knightmares: Grabbed this as an add-on for the You're In Space crowdfund, but I'm glad I got it because it's loosely inspired by This Discord Has Ghosts In It, and that game rules. I might be able to pitch this to my friend group, who enjoyed Discord Has Ghosts.

In a Mirror Brightly/Handbaskets: First off, plug for the RTFM podcast, because it's very good. This two-games-in-one book is created by the two hosts of that show, who are great designers and seem really lovely. But, two wildly different vibes in a single volume is a great idea.

You Meet in a Tavern, You Die in a Dungeon: I've been following the creator for this since some of my earliest days in the RPG scene, so I was happy to help make this a reality. Feels very tropey, and I mean that in the best way possible.

In Other Waters: Tidebreak: Honestly, I have barely scratched the surface of In Other Waters, the PC game this is based on. But this is a Mothership solo hack that returns to that world, and it had me curious based on that pitch alone.

Aaand because I'm a doofus who forgot to include it, here's one more book! PLUS A guest appearance from my new desk mat.

Teeth: Been into Forged in the Dark lately, and as much as I enjoy Monster of the Week, the pitch for this seemed like it was more my speed. You're monster hunters, trying to keep the occult under wraps, while keeping secrets of your own. Plus, horror comedy!

The mat is the cover art from Friends at the Table's current season, Palisade. It's an Armor Astir campaign following up on some of the characters from their Partizan series.

[reveriesofawriter]

book rambling don't mind me

the book kept saying anharion was his title... so was that also his name? did his name become a title when the Betrayal happened? does "anharion" translate to Betrayer or is that just what he's known as? was it a mistranslation from the old language? edit: I just reread the part where sarcean said he used to be called something else and now I feel like that's going to give away the whole ~is he the sun prince~ thing

I've seen some theories about the Collar and to what extent it actually controls james and like. as much as it would be less big and exciting to see it this way... what if the Collar is mostly symbolic? bc sarcean can talk people into doing what he wants anyway and james was obviously not immune to the charm (it's magnified for him even) well before will knew anything about himself or his powers so what if the collar was just a way to show other people that anharion belonged to him? but GOD if this moral stronghold of not wanting to manipulate james into kissing him and wanting him to do it of his own free will stops these boys from having a lil smooch for the majority of the third book I will Die

I've also seen people try to draw lines between will/sarcean and james/anharion as far as their past/present personalities and the consensus seems to be that will has a more clear line between himself and sarcean but I saw someone say it was more like intrusive thoughts and I think that's fascinating, also that will is seeing james and not anharion the betrayer when he looks at james but james in every sense is this cocky little asshole (affectionate) who flirts and uses his powers to take advantage of people while anharion in the past wasn't like that sooooo I think will isn't Seeing james as who he is I think he's seeing anharion for who he used to be before he turned against sarcean. which is so interesting when you think about will saying people shouldn't be judged by what they've done but what they can do

the tangled web of who hates who is so messy but I trust violet to, if not outright take will's side, then to convince the others to let him go like banish him or whatever instead of killing him right away (even if james's powers would physically protect him from that I just need violet to believe in him)

I'm still thinking about little 6 year old will setting a rich fucker's clothes on fire bc he laid his hands on a woman who was nice to him, how violet saved his life and he's spent every day after that trying to return the favor including using a newfound power he doesn't know how to control yet to set her free from a cage in another country

can't wait to see how the narratives shift when we get other perspectives on what the past was really like bc from what I can tell sarcean and the lady weren't really In Love they just had a fling one time

on that note I thought will was switched out for the girls somehow when they were kids but elizabeth was told her mother had a son before her and she believes that son is will, which would mean will is both blood of the lady and the dark king, which brings to question who his dad is bc they said it wasn't simon but I don't think his birth was a virgin mary situation, also I know sarcean got around but are will and simon's family related any closer than one ancestor thousands of years ago? is sinclair will's father?

I don't think tom and violet will fight to the death, tom may die in another way tho

what's the fourth kingdom and how does that pay into this? bc the first gate was in england the second was underwater somewhere and the third is in italy so the fourth...? on that note there must be more stewards alive who weren't in the hall when it was torn through, people who either left that life behind, or like cyprian at the beginning who didn't drink from the cup but still follow the lifestyle, or maybe like small covens of stewards who never went to the hall bc they found their own communities elsewhere idk it's just very eurocentric to think everyone from everywhere would meet up in this one place when the whole rest of the world exists

will needs some alone time after all this someone give him a safe place to rest and a hot drink

phillip and visander... and the unicorn....... love triangle of the ages... (I wonder if visander will find his way back into a man's body somehow or if he's stuck looking like katherine forever lol) (realistically. I don't think this man fucked his horse. but. metaphorically? metaphysically? whatever they had was probably as erotically charged as that magic scene right?)

[yanderes-galore]

Could either be written as a fic or HC'S but a rom yandere snotlout where he believes him and yn should be together because our dragons or together? Idk man this has been in my head all day and then I realized yoy write for httyd and your requests are open

Of course! I'll do something with this, it's a cute idea!

Yandere! Snotlout Concept I'm pulling from

Yandere! Snotlout with Darling whose dragon is paired with his

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Implied forced relationship/attempted forced relationship, Mostly used as an add on to the original concept.

First of all I will say your dragon is another Monstrous Nightmare like Hookfang.

I say this as I am not sure if dragons can cross breed with other dragon types unless they are in a similar family.

That means both you and Snotlout have the same type of dragon, regardless on if you like Snotlout or not.

If Snotlout already had an obsession with you he's already pretty bad.

He's already using the fact you have similar dragons as a justification for why you should be with him.

He's still trying to impress you and flirt with you, trying to convince you that you need a man like him.

He's still just as delusional, clingy, self-absorbed, and manipulative as he is usually when yandere.

As I've said before, he isn't one to just give up on having his darling either.

He's always looking for ways to get you to like him and eventually date him.

It turns out, soon enough, Hookfang begins to show interest in your dragon.

At first the idea is cute.

You observe Snotlout's dragon trying to court yours by acting protective and giving food.

You think it's adorable and are happy that your dragon is accepting the courting.

It can be a nice way to observe how Monstrous Nightmares behave when courting.

The issue? Snotlout takes advantage of this development.

He expects this to be a way to have you two date.

He doesn't have to worry about Hookfang leaving him this time as his dragon has found a mate somewhere close to his.

Snotlout does seem like the person to take advantage of the fact your dragons are with each other.

Each time Hookfang comes over to be with your dragon Snotlout is around because he 'needs to be with his best friend'.

Snotlout uses any opportunity that presents itself to try and make you fall for him.

Including dragon relationships it seems.

Snotlout would be a continuous pain to deal with when he comes over with Hookfang.

You're happy your dragon is getting along with her new company... yet you aren't.

It's funny how well the dragons get along compared to the riders.

Snotlout's attempts at impressing you still come off as bragging and his continuous attempts to get you two to date like your dragons becomes irritating.

I feel this situation would be a good add on bit to the original concept I made for him.

He acts the same as he would in that, but now the dragon situation gives him more leverage.

He is relentless with comments about the dragons and you.

He mentions how Hookfang can provide for your dragon... and how Snotlout could do the same for you.

You can try to ignore him but it won't really work.

He just wants you to accept the fact he loves you and wants to be a manly boyfriend for you!

Your dragons may take notice of the conflict, although their reactions vary.

Hookfang finds it a bit amusing while your dragon is more concerned for your well-being.

Hookfang will step in if your dragon separates you from his rider.

Overall, the idea of Snotlout trying to use the fact your dragons are together as a way to date you does seem like something he would do.

Can't you see this just means you're meant to be together?

Your dragons are happy... that clearly means you two will be, right? So why fight it! Why do you have to fight him if he loves you so much!?

[ms-rampage]

Paige (OC) x Ghost

(circa 2013 before she met Kenneth, her husband, and my other OC)

Paige tells Simon that he isn't the worst and that he isn't a monster. This is a bit angsty.

"Simon." Paige said softly, her voice filled with concern. She moved closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere." She pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder, her hand squeezing his gently.

He let out a shaky breath, his body relaxing under her touch. "You know, you're not supposed to say things like that," he said, trying to make a joke.

She laughed softly, the sound filling the room. "I know, but I can't help it." she replied, leaning in to place another gentle kiss on his shoulder. "You're worth it, Simon."

He couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through him despite his initial resistance. He turned his head slightly, his cheek brushing against her hand. "I'm... not sure what to do with that," he admitted, his voice low and rough.

Paige smiled softly, leaning in closer to him. "You don't have to do anything," she whispered, her breath tickling his skin. "Just be you. That's enough for me."

"Paige." he breathed, the sound hoarse. "You don't understand." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I've done... things. Terrible things." He looked away, not wanting to see the horror in her eyes.

She sat up slowly, her eyes locked on his. "What things?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Please, Simon, you can tell me."

He hesitated, his heart racing. He knew he shouldn't tell her, but somehow, he found himself needing to confess his sins to her. "I... killed people," he said finally, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Many people."

Her eyes widened, but she didn't pull away from him. Instead, she reached out and placed her hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Simon." she said softly, "I know you're not a saint.". Her hand felt warm against his cold skin, and Simon found himself leaning into her touch. "But I'm not worth it." he mumbled, hating how pathetic he sounded. "I'm dangerous."

Paige shook her head slowly. "You're not dangerous to me." she assured him. "And you're worth more than you'll ever know." Her eyes were filled with an unyielding confidence that he found both enchanting and unsettling.

He looked into her eyes, feeling a strange mixture of emotions coursing through him. He wanted to believe her, but he knew the truth—he was a monster. Yet somehow, she made him feel human again. "How can you say that?." he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Paige smiled gently, her lips curving up in a way that made his heart skip a beat. "Because." she replied, leaning closer, "I've seen the darkness in this world, Simon. And you're not the worst thing I've ever seen."

He couldn't help but feel a small spark of hope ignite within him. "But I've done things—" he started, only to be cut off by her soft touch on his lips.

"Shh." Paige whispered, placing her finger over his lips. "Just let me love you, okay? I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. Together, we can find a way to move forward."

"Paige." he breathed, his heart racing. He had never felt so vulnerable yet, so wanted before. He couldn't resist her any longer. With a deep breath, he leaned into her touch, letting her love wash over him.

She felt his hesitation, but she also sensed the vulnerability beneath his tough exterior. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. Her body was warm against his cool skin, a contrast that seemed to ground him in the present.

Simon held onto Paige, allowing himself to lean into her embrace. Her touch was like a balm on his soul, slowly soothing the pain and guilt that had plagued him for so long. She closed her eyes, lost in the moment. She didn't care that he was a monster, because in this moment, she saw the man beneath the killer. She saw his pain, his guilt, and the lonely soul that had led him down this dark path.

[fandoomrants]

Okay, so ep 7 of AAA revealed some things and I'm both confused and have some theories.

I haven't read the comics or additional stuff so some of these might have been answered somewhere.

Also, spoilers for ep 7, so...

Let's start with the facts:

-Rio IS Death. Tbh, I only binged the previous 6 episodes last weekend while feverish and tired (my friends can't promote a show to save their lives, SAY THERE ARE QUEERS AND MILFS, FFS) but since then I've seen so many posts about how she is Death that I thought it's something I've missed being mentioned. Just earlier today, a couple of hours before watching the episode, I learned that's not the case. So, was it actually confirmed before that orr???

-This explains why she disappeared in the end of ep 5 and isn't present now! Had to collect Alice's body (tbh, gotta give a friend credits, he realised before me). Also Agatha most likely knew, because when Billy/William/Teen asked where she is, the answer was something like "I can't tell you" (Edit: she says "Not that question" bit yk, same meaning) and not "I don't know", and by the end of the episode, we learned Agatha knows who Rio is.

And this leads to the theories:

-The thing Rio did which hurt Agatha was collecting her son's body. Idk, it's more of a fact for me, rather than theory but we don't have really solid confirmation yet.

Now, for the next, I really lack info of the timeline but the way I see it, the Salem coven and her absorbing the powers of the other witches happened before her son so I have three theories about her and the Road:

-I'm not sure if it was mentioned on the show or people believe she lost her son in the end of the first walk on the Road but I think something else happened there (if it's not confirmed that's when she lost her son. If it is. I still have a theory that's including the scenario).

-I had this theory before that Rio was with her the first time she walked the Road. I guess, now it's another fact, since we know Agatha is the only one that survived, meaning the others died and Rio is Death. BUT.

>Theory 1: What if the first time Agatha walked the Road, it was with her original Salem coven?? The one including her mother. And the flashback in WandaVision and now again in AAA is from the end of it??? What if that's why she said one (her) survived because that's how it ended?

-What if she asked the Road for power and the Road gave her this power??

>Theory 2: The first time she walked the Road, she was, after all, with her son, and something happened. I don't believe she actually sacrificed him but maybe the Road took it as some type of exchange.

-Addition to #2 is, it could still be the scenario from #1 but with her son too. And maybe the Road made it look as if she did give him for power and that's how the whole thing with her mother telling her she's evil came from, plus the rumours she sacrificed him.

>Theory 3: The thing that Billy/etc said in this episode made me wonder... What if she, in fact, didn't walk the Road before at all?

-She seems to know a lot about it but also doesn't look as if she has faced these things before. She looks confused by some things. And doesn't say "last time..."

-Either that, or the Road manifests in a completely different way this time (the houses, etc).

And apart from the Road theories:

-I think that in any case, the first time Rio met Agatha was when the thing with the Salem witches happened.

-The second theory is the one I lean into the least and I could easily debunk it because:

-It looks as if Rio and Agatha were once a thing for real, not just into each other. And I believe it was before whatever happened with Agatha's son. Like, she wouldn't be with Rio after Rio took her son.

-UNLESS Agatha found out who Rio is later, and that hurt even more.

-Also, Agatha's mother basically trying to kill her because Agatha herself presumably sacrificed her son sounds a bit weird. Ofc, if it's based on intentions and reasons, it can pass as her thinking her daughter went too far.

-But I believe Agatha was young when Salem happened so I think her son was after all of it.

-There's also a chance that Agatha's coven turned against her after they found out about Rio but I think that Agatha and Rio were a thing after the coven, following my theory of they meeting there.

Additionally:

-I saw theories of Rio being the last trial and you know what, I can see it.

-I also have a feeling only one makes it to the end of the Road.

-I think in the end there is always some price to pay (for Agatha it was her coven or son, I lean towards coven, if theory 1 is closer to the truth), and I thought it's gonna be something with Rio where Agatha would have to lose her.

-Now we know that's not the case.

-But I think there's a chance that with Alice and Lilia already gone, Jen also wouldn't survive and maybe Agatha might not make it either :/

-I also keep going back to the line Rio says in ep 1 "I have a heart. It's black and it beats for you." I KNOW Billy is confirmed to be the Black Heart. But I feel like:

1) Agatha might not know it (even if she did suspect who he is, how could she know something between him and his bf?)

2) It was some word game. Billy had to cease to exist and William had to die but Billy somehow got into his body and now they coexist (?). In any case, there had to be death and there wasn't.

-So I think in the end, the black heart that "beats only for her" might mean something more. And maybe Agatha would have to make a choice. And sacrifice herself or sth.

[acourtofthought]

“If Lucien loved Jesminda so much that he believed she was his mate,

.......until he found out Elain is his mate,

.....does it seem realistic that he could love someone else more than that?”

Yes, because a mating bond has nothing to do with mutual attraction, romantic compatibility, or love.

Take for example, Tamlin’s parents, or even Rhysand’s parents. Mates, but no love.

And, I find it interesting that you are convinced elucien will be endgame because they don’t talk, and are uncomfortable around one another (what you refer to as “creating tension”, as SJM did with all other endgame couples). Yet, have you considered that SJM has set things up this way, because she plans for Elain to reject the bond��?

I mean think about it: if SJM is setting the stage for a failed mating bond between Elain and Lucien, then there needs to be reasons present as to why Elain (or Lucien) would reject the bond - reasons we have seen in the text already (ie. Elain stating that a mating bond does not mean she needs to return Lucien’s affections, or even Elain having feelings for someone else). If SJM is indeed going down this route, then it makes no sense that Elain and Lucien would be friendly with one another, fond of one another, or even sharing moments in the story together and growing closer… because then what reason would SJM have to break apart their mating bond, when they otherwise so clearly get along with each other? (And perhaps this is exactly why we haven’t seen any such moments between Elain and Lucien…)

So, there’s just as much foundation for a rejected mating bond between Elain and Lucien, as there is for an accepted one.

I disagree.

Especially when you take into account that your point only addresses mating bonds where my post was looking at the entire picture.

Even if Elain and Lucien do not accept their mating bond, SJM could not realistically create a third option for Lucien that would trump what he had with Jesminda.

Lucien loved Jesminda (LI # 1) so much he thought she WAS his actual mate. So where does that leave a third female (LI #3) who couldn't be his mate because he already knows Elain is? It doesn't really make sense for SJM to give Lucien a new love interest then claim, "Lucien loves LI #3 so much that SHE could be his mate", she's already created that narrative with Jesminda. And he could never love her so much that he thinks she might be his mate since he'll always know Elain is his mate despite a rejected bond.

At that point, it's not about Elain and Lucien so much as Lucien not being able to love another female as much as he loved Jesminda and I've got to say it's a bit anti-climatic in a fantasy romance novel to think, "I love her as much as I loved Jesminda except.... I thought Jesminda was my mate and I know this new person isn't". The only thing that can trump Lucien's love for Jesminda (from a literary standpoint) is for him to actually fall in love with his mate and she him because not only does he then love Elain as much as he loved Jesminda but they have the added bonus of actually being mates.

Also, Tamlin's mother DID love his father:

"My mother - she loved my father deeply. Too deeply"

It doesn't matter that his father was a "tyrant", she still loved him anyway.

And the reason Rhys's parents were not given a matched mating bond is:

"My father and my mother, despite being mates, were wrong for each other. My father was cold and calculating, and could be vicious, as he had been trained since birth." (I'm going to stop right here because out of Lucien and Az, who is "vicious and cold"? I surely hope you're not going to tell me it's Lucien). "My mother was soft and fiery and beloved by everyone she met. She hated him after a time" (who is soft and beloved by everyone? In ACOTAR we're told "she had come alive here, and her joy was infectious. There wasn't a server or gardener who didn't smile at her and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies and tarts at various points in the day. I marveled at it, - actually that those years of poverty hadn't stripped away that light from Elain". And who showed us a little bit of fire in SF when standing up to Nesta?)

E/riels focus so much on the fact that Rhys's parents had a poorly matched mating bond without paying attention to the most important part of it. The WHY they had a poorly matched bond. They were ill fitting because their personalities were too different. Az literally has the personality of Rhys's father and Elain literally has the personality of Rhys's mother, Elain who does not like cruelty. So do you honestly think Lucien, who prefers his words to weapons, who has maintained his cool and never sought out revenge against Graysen or his father or Eris, who is loving and open with his emotions, is a better fit for Elain? Or do you think Az, who is full of rage and anger and aggression, who starts fights and disobeys orders and TORTURES people, is a fit for her?

People need to stop focusing on the bond and start focusing on the personalities of the characters which is the ONLY thing that matters when you're trying to figure out who is well suited.

And you're right, a mating bond has nothing to do with love but from what the author herself has told us, if a couple has love and they also share a mating bond, it is the most rare and special of pairings.

"Not an indication of true, paired souls." A smile at me - at the rareness, perhaps of what we had."

That's my entire point. Lucien had love with Jesminda and it was real and beautiful. But if Lucien and Elain end up having love AND a mating bond (which you're fooling yourself if you think isn't still a possibility when you consider the author who is writing these books), it's the only thing that can surpass what he felt for Jesminda.

And of course I've considered if Elain will reject the bond, I don't think someone can write a well thought out post focusing on only one possibility, but with all the clues and all the patterns I've seen in SJMs writing, I don't see it as likely. Are you choosing to ignore that Nesta pushed Cassian away and avoided him too? Even though she later tells us she knew from the start that he had a power over her and that scared her?

Elucien's not considering that Elain might reject the bond isn't the problem, we all have but our logic has pointed us in the direction that they are still endgame.

The problem in the fandom is that E/riels are stubbornly refusing to consider that E/riel was always meant to be a rebound as both Elain and Az learned to let go of Graysen and Mor. A stepping stone for them both in order to continue on to end up with the person who is actually right for them. I'd much rather Elain end up with the male who has been nothing but amazing towards her, despite her current state of uncertainty, than the male who hasn't thought of her beyond his sexual fantasies. I'd much rather have her eventually realize how well matched she and Lucien are than see her end up with a male who thinks she's going to be tainted by his dirty, bad man self and doesn't think she can handle the darkness of the Trove.

[eonars]

Any advise for applying to PhD programs? Congrats by the way!

thank you!! sorry this is so late my notifications are in an absolute state and this is the first time I've been on desktop all week

I'm not sure if I'm the best one to give advice for applying to PhDs cause I honestly got rejected from SOOO many before I got this one. I'd applied for maybe 15-20 (bear in mind, this was in the sciences so they were all paid positions in funded projects, if you want advice on self funded I'm not the one) and came in second or third place more times than I can remember, which is totally useless at the end of the day cause they're only picking one person.

By the time this one rolled around I'd more or less given up and was seriously considering just moving to LA and becoming a tattoo artist lmao. But on a serious note it's super easy to get discouraged, especially when you're regularly getting top 3 candidates out of like 100 applicants and STILL not managing to get the top spot, and I don't really have amazing advice for that because I did get entirely discouraged and had basically given up the ghost at this point.

ANYway though I got recommended for this position by my former master's supervisor and immediately thought I was way underqualified for it, but decided to just apply anyway cause it was really no effort and I had nothing to lose (except my remaining shred of mental fortitude after yet another rejection but whatever). I bullshitted a motivation letter using the main bit of advice my master's supervisor gave me (it needs to sicken you a little to read it, go in and write in such a confident voice that you're the only one for this position that it feels kinda gross to write it, can expand on this further if you want) and submitted that and all my other things and got selected to interview!

So at this point I'm still kind of in my fuck it we ball half given up state but even half given up I'm still an academic weapon so I spent hours reading and preparing (we were tasked with doing a 15min presentation and I godsweat everything I'm asked to do). I also came off a little manic in the actual interview cause I hadn't slept and after doing so many interviews that led nowhere my nerves were completely shot, but I think that ended up working to my benefit because I came off as really bubbly and personable? Which is always a benefit in science-oriented spaces because there's always gonna be a million guys who know all the science and techniques and theory but can't hold a basic conversation, and you can really set yourself apart by being an engaging even slightly jokey type character. So overall being in the fuck it we ball mindset and letting my kind of tweaky goofy not at all stuffy academic professional side out ended up working to my advantage I think because they seemed to really like me in the interview. I'm also generally good at presenting and making visually pleasing, clean presentations (if you can make something tasteful looking that isn't just blocks of black text on a white default slide you're gonna be cooking with gas here).

Like I said before my qualifications (as in actual scientific experience pertaining to this project) were lacking to the point where I was strongly considering not even applying, so I really think it was the interview that sealed the deal for me. I gave a well-rehearsed, clean presentation that I practiced countless times beforehand, and even though they gave me two publications to work off of for the presentation I did my own further research and included figures and information outside of what I was provided. I also found a way to spin this specific project into the exact logical next step for my career, tie it into my own personal values and the impact I want to have on the world, and just basically make it look like this one project was made for me specifically and I wanted to be part of it because of what it was, NOT because I was ready to do any project that was dropped in front of me at that point. Especially in STEM, I feel like coming off as personable, agreeable, and social is going to give you a major advantage. They're not looking for a science robot who never leaves the lab, they're looking for someone who can present at conferences, write effective and clear publications and communications, work in a group in multiple different settings, go with the flow, solve problems etc.

Reading back on this now I'm realizing "get to the brink of giving up, plan running away and joining the circus, and be visibly mentally ill in the interview" isn't amazing advice but I uh, hope this helped somehow. If I can do it anyone can do it man.

[the-good-spartan]

The Rites dedicated to Helen at Sparta

So I've been re-watching a section of the Bettany Hughes documentary about Helen of Sparta (here), and I just have thoughts that I have to let out, for the purposes of getting my own ideas in order.

I'm preparing to write a scene based on these rites, so they're uppermost in my mind right now.

This is my own transcription of what Hughes says in the documentary:

The Greeks told stories of how Helen would come to the banks of the Eurotas to dance all night with other young girls. Centuries later these dances were re-staged in some kind of attempt to capture the spirit of Helen. And we still have fragments of the poetry the girls sang together*. These rites are vital to understanding Helen's appeal. The gift she is giving the girls isn't beauty but what the Greeks call kharis[...] the root of our word charisma, and it can simply mean grace. But it also has an erotic connotation. By invoking the spirit of Helen, the young girls are learning to become charismatic, sexually aware, and certainly these rituals would have been highly charged affairs. They were [there] alone together all night, there was drinking, and torchlight, and they danced naked until dawn.

(* The maiden-song is at 31:15. As no source is provided in the documentary, I have yet to find the source itself. I will update this post should I find it. Another maiden-song can be read here, though.)

Point by point then:

I truly don't know why anyone would argue that beauty wasn't at least amongst the gifts the girls went to Helen for during these rites, even if that isn't mentioned explicitly in the few fragments of poetry we have to go on. To my knowledge, it's the only attested reason to worship her [Herodotus, Bk. 6.61.], so it's illogical to discount it.

To be clear, I don't speak Greek, modern or ancient, but everywhere I've looked, kharis is defined as grace predominantly, just as Hughes says, but wikipedia did give me the additional words beauty, elegance, and charm. The only place I could find reference to anything hinting at an overtly sexual definition (if you squint and look at 'attraction' with the eye of faith) was at the website Baring the Aegis, which is a website dedicated to modern Hellenic Polytheism.

There, it's said:

Kharis is an important word. It means everything from beauty to joy, delight, kindness, good will, grace, favor, benefit, boon, charm, attraction, appeal, elegance, gracefulness, pleasure, cheerfulness, wit, gratitude, thankfulness and gratification. It's the name of a Goddess as well; the Goddess of Grace and Beauty.

It feels like a stretch to imply that there's anything sexual about the gift of kharis in the specific setting of a group of young girls dancing together, even if there is an erotic undertone to that word in some instances... Unless, that is, we look at it the details of the rite as Hughes presents them purely through a modern western lens.

Suggesting that a group of young girls being naked together is inherently sexual is so western it slaps you in the face. It's quite obvious from our sources that nudity was acceptable at Sparta in a way that many modern scholars seem to find it very difficult to accept. I addressed this a little here, but in brief, for example - we're told that young girls exercised naked together - though scholars argue over it, the texts don't leave that open to interpretation - they use the same word for the girls' exercise as they do for the boys, literally, exercise in the nude. Girls are also said to have marched naked in public parades where the boys were present.

There's as good a grounds to suggest that everyone might have been naked in public fairly regularly, at least during the hotter months, as there is to suggest that your average Spartan would've found nudity inherently sexual, weird, uncomfortable, or especially gendered.

I don't for a second believe these girls would've been alone and unsupervised, when Sparta was to its core a surveillance state. No one went anywhere without being watched over - especially during the classical period when there was the ever-present danger of helot uprisings. They were hardly likely to allow a group of young girls into the night without any guardians going with them. If nothing else, surely there would've been priestesses/female elders to guide the girls on what was required to ensure the rites were executed correctly and to the satisfaction of the gods/Helen herself.

Further to that - the idea that drinking wine implies 'something sexual is bound to happen' is also misguided, in my opinion. It's incredibly unlikely that the girls would've been drinking enough to get drunk, when even Spartan men were debarred from drinking to excess. Even if we assume they hadn't drunk wine before, which may or may not have been true, they aren't going to be falling down in a wine induced orgy after a shared kylix.

And torchlight being sexy? That's like saying when we flick on the light switch in modern times, sex must be on the cards. It was literally just their lighting.

So yeah. I just think this is one of those examples of a scenario that should be labelled fantasy rather than fact and perhaps not be inserted into a documentary without more preamble. Of course my version is much less exciting - but unfortunately, reality (at least as much as we can reconstruct it now) tends to be like that when you go looking for it, especially where Sparta is concerned.

[Also, I am once again putting this into the cosmos: documentary makers should be required to site their sources. If a YouTube essayist can do it, so can they.]

[codiecoda]

The Allergies Of The Demon King [All For One x Garaki]

Summary: Allergy season is hard for everyone but for All For One it is something of a nightmare and yet another thing that becomes Garaki's problem as he must put up with his seemingly endless complaints

It was safe to say allergy season could be a rough time for everyone but when it came to All For One this much was especially so. He had always had a well put together immune system in comparison to his brother, almost never getting sick, but as it seemed every time this time of year would roll back around the demon king would crumble. Unfortunately for Garaki this time of year was especially rough for him too but certainly not in the same sense as his difficulties lay at the feet of All For One's complaints and he certainly had many.

“This medicine isn't working.” All For One complained, sitting the previously filled and now empty bottle of pills down on the doctor's desk. “If anything I think I'm getting worse and for the life of me I just can't shake this nasty cough. I thought doctors were supposed to make people feel better? Keep this up and next time I won't scold Tomura for throwing apples at you.”

“I'm afraid I can only assist you so much with your allergies.” Garaki reasoned, acknowledging the others annoyances. “It also appears you've built up something of a tolerance for the medication I've been giving all these years which may be why it's not having it's full effect—”

This answer was certainly less than pleasing to the demon king and as much was made very apparent to him when his dear friend chucked an apple at his head just as his son had that previous day. Now he understood exactly where the boy got it from or perhaps All For One was resorting to the child's childish tantrums once more to get what he wanted.

“I didn't ask for excuses, doctor.” All For One reminded, undoubtedly losing his patience already. “I told you to fix them. I do hate to resort to childish outbreaks but I feel now that it's the only way to get my point across. Keep this up and I might just make you target practice.”

“I'll see what I can do.” Garaki sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with him. “In the meantime I suggest tea.”

This seemed to be enough to suffice for the moment as All For One soon let him be. With the medication no longer taking effect Garaki knew he was particularly out of luck on what to do. Of course he could rework the drug but he had a feeling All For One would be rather unforgiving of any negative effects and with his thinning patience it didn't seem as though he'd be willing to wait until the drug got out of the testing phase. No, he needed to do something different.

“Maybe..” Garaki mused, flipping through the pages in his notes until he found something interesting. “Perhaps this could work..”

That's when Garaki came across an old family remedy to treat the common allergies. Of course the method was a bit unorthodox by All For One's standards but then again it was better than nothing and he was certain All For One would agree. It was simply a bath after all.

“I'm not exactly sure about all these oils..” All For One stated as he carefully unclothed himself, glancing towards what the doctor was adding into the water. “And must you be present for this?”

“It's not like I haven't already seen everything before and besides I need to monitor any negative effects the remedy may have.” Garaki reasoned, stepping away from the bath. “I think you'll find the water warmed to your liking.”

Garaki did have to admit he didn't exactly shy away from staring as All For One stepped foot into the bath and made himself comfortable within it. The oils certainly put off a pleasant smell but it was the effect of clearing the sinuses that they were both looking for and fortunately this much occurred almost immediately as the bath began.

“It's so nice to be able to breathe freely again..” All For One sighed contently, enjoying the soak. “I can feel you staring, doctor.”

“I need to examine your condition.” Garaki justified, not averting his gaze in the slightest. “It is my duty—”

“I believe I'm fine now.” All For One interrupted, glancing towards him rather coldly. “You may leave now.”

Left with no choice in the matter, Garaki gave All For One the privacy he desired. He wasn't exactly sure why All For One often dismissed him in such a manner, but he recognized how relaxed he seemed when he finally came out. For a moment there he seemed almost too relaxed.

“Garaki.” All For One called, seemingly satisfied. “Have another bath prepared for me after my meeting. I plan on enjoying my little breaks of freedom until the end of the season.”

“Of course sir.” Garaki confirmed, pleased with his work.

Allergies may have been difficult to deal with but if a bath was all it took to rid himself of the torment All For One was content with being cleaner than clean.

[rose-lizzzy]

Sausage narrowed his eyes at Gem, who grinned at him

Right then, Shrub leapt at Gem, grabbing her arms and holding her down. The wizard flinches, and no one seems to notice the flash of panic that goes through her expression for just a moment.

"Shrub!?" Fwhip gasps, having not realized she was present.

Gem struggles, composure reclaimed. "Get off of me you stupid gnome!" She shoves Shrub off, throwing her at the other three.

Joey stared, eyes wide. "Shrub? What are you-" he cuts himself off by the dark glare she gives him.

"Leave her alone, Gem." Fwhip demands, stepping in front of the gnome.

Pearl hops over to Joey. "Why hello there!" She draws her sword and they start fighting, to keep him from helping Gem.

Gem glares at him. "Oh look. It's you. Why are you defending her? What has she ever done for you?!"

"She helped me look for you. Okay?! When you went missing, she was the only one to help search for you." Fwhip defends

Sausage gasps at this. "Hey!"

Fwhip glances back at him. "Besides Sausage and Pearl."

Gems glare deepened, her eyes got darker red. "Oh. She helped you, did she? Well isn't that. Just. Great." They noticed a dark cloud surrounding her, dark energy radiating off of her.

"Woah! Gem! Calm down! Why...why does that upset you so much?" Sausage asks, stepping towards her, hands held out in front of him.

The wizard ignores him. "I protected you for years. I've kept you from dying. I helped you when you were in trouble!"

"But you weren't always there." Fwhip had tears forming as he stared at his sister, eyes narrowed. "You disappeared, Gem. I tried looking for you. I tried. To find you."

Gem glowers at him. "Then you didn't try hard enough. I was-" she cuts herself off, realizing she couldn't admit she was right there. Right next to his empire. She was so close...and yet... "You could have found me. But you decided to trust a stupid gnome, and gave up at the smallest thing."

"Because you've left before! Gem, I know you. I love you. You're my sister! My other half! But apparently you don't always like staying close to me."

Gem releases a fireball at him, using her bare hand. Fwhip gasps and he dodges, but his arm gets pretty badly burned.

"It's not all about you!" She screams, sending another fireball at him, which he was more prepared for and got out of the way of.

Just then Sausage steps in, and he grabs Gems arms.

Unlike with Shrub, she couldn't just shake him off, so she turns his attention to him.

"Sausage. Let go." She demands, but he shakes his head.

"No Gem. I don't think so. We're gonna take you home, and figure out how to fix you."

She sees Shrub on the floor, starting to reach to help her, but she shakes her head.

"No. You aren't. Because you're going to help me." She breaks into a grin, locks eyes with Sausage, and her eyes start to glow as she mutters the same spell she had used before on him.

Fwhip realized what was happening and screams, lunging for them. "GEM! NO! STOP!"

Gem lets go. "Alright!" She grins, and Fwhip steps back, eyes wide.

Sausage turns around, expression blank, looking past the tinkerer, his eyes glowing red.

"...Sausage...?" Fwhip asks, and Gem just laughs.

"Come on Sausage. Joey!" She calls, and the Emperor turns. "Come on! We're leaving!"

Fwhips eyes widen and he reaches for his sister. "Gem wait!"

They hop into the portal, Joey leaving Pearl hanging mid fight, and Fwhip is left reaching for Gem, who disappeared yet again.

[aevyk-ing]

2023 review stuff

Here we go again. Gotta keep up with the tradition because it's always interesting to go back and reflect on a whole year. While things have improved ever so slightly, my life isn't good yet. But hey, I'm doing my best to keep on fighting until I get there.

2020, 2021, 2022

Health (mixed)

I started out this year with a surprise: I'm autistic! And while it's not a bad nor good surprise, it has changed completely the way I treat myself. I used to feel useless and an idiot but now there's an explanation for most of my quirks and I can use my newly discovered "superpowers" to make me feel better. But hey, it's still a secret. I'd like to get a formal diagnosis (I mean on paper) before talking to my parents and family.

That being said, I've used this new knowledge to fight the many bumps I've encountered this year. There's still a long way to go, but I feel like I know myself way better now.

2. Writing (freaking good)

I started the year finishing a book, then I wrote another one, translated three, wrote four short stories, a full comic strip and lots of stuff more. I've created a whole new continent for Gingaria and new places for the next books. I had a great presentation for my book Kylkos and lots of people have praised Legends of Gingaria, which makes me so happy! It all gives me the strength to go on the days I feel bad. And I can't wait to show you what's in store! Also, shout-out to all my AO3 readers.

3. Art (quite good)

I'm getting the hang of Clip Studio Paint and I think you can see the leveling up. I'm trying to improve with more character, creatures and places designs. I've drawn more comics and some illustrations I'm really proud of. While I sometimes have bad days when nothing seems to work, I can just go back when I feel better.

4. Cosplay (eh...)

Believe it of not, I've managed to keep on sewing some new stuff. I can't share it for now, but hopefully next year. I've done some clean-up and while I'll use most of my time to fix stuff next year (once I can get it out of the boxes), I'm planning to do more photoshoots.

Now I'm going to talk about the stuff that has helped me go through this year. But first...

I'm sure nobody cares, but this year has been worse because we've had some problems regarding the documents so they can demolish our house and pay us. The thing is some... baddies have been meddling with the process and we were in the middle, so that's why our case is getting longer to resolve. Hopefully, now that we've got the papers we need, things will start going on more smoothly.

Movies & series

I've watched a lot of stuff this year. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse was so good, I loved Suzume and The Boy and the Heron and, about series, Over the Garden Wall and The Blue Eyed Samurai.

2. Gingaria

While writing is not always easy, I've had so much fun making this world even bigger. And I made a doll maker! There's a lot to come and I hope it keeps on growing.

3. Webtoons & reading

I still struggle with reading but my mind is calmer this year. I've read some books from a public place where you put one and get one (left one of my Zem copies just because). I'm currently following some Webtoons and my favorites are The Blind Prince and Your Smile is a Trap.

4. Side projects

I was commissioned to make 35 fabric cubes and a replica of Gladys from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Also made some props for cosplay and fixed other stuff.

5. Therapy

I'm so lucky to have found someone who gets me and understands what I'm going through. Sometimes is hard because she makes me rethink everything but I've improved so much this year thanks to her.

Someone asked me recently about my New Year's resolutions and turns out I don't want to have any, I'm going to rely on my projects. I've had an interesting idea recently and I'm going to search for someone to make it come true, I have more stories to tell (currently writing yet another book) and more surprises along the way.

Thank you so much for being there. I hope you all have a happy New Year. Keep on shining!

[melloggd]

Review: Another Code: Two Memories

CiNG • Nintendo • 2005 • Nintendo DS Read it on Backloggd: (x)

After discovering Hotel Dusk, I like many others became enamored by the mystique surrounding its developer, Cing: A tiny team that brought the absolute most out of both the DS and Wii, made 4 Nintendo-published games, and despite that died less than 10 years after being founded.

Out of those 4 games, Hotel Dusk is definitely the most well known, and I absolutely fell in love with it. Beyond the fascinating hardware uses and overall presentation, it was the mood and overall pacing of its story that captivated me. A game relishing in the mundane. Games like Shenmue and No More Heroes captivate me with how they use those chunks of silent, "uninteresting" gameplay to both further enhance the more exciting moments and immerse you more in their everyday worlds. Even Ace Attorney does it in a sense with its investigations.

Long story short: I wanted more Hotel Dusk and decided to try out Cing's first ever Nintendo-published game. And to make another long story short, whilst it definitely shows more rough edges and lack of focus compared to Hotel Dusk, the game's heart is still in the right place.

Its a quirky little game: The textboxes look right out of a flash game, the mouth movements can look flat-out creepy if you pay enough attention to them, and unlike Hotel Dusk most puzzles are moreso there to just...be puzzles, rather than have much of anything to do with the world. Its set up sort of similarly to old-school Resident Evil in that way, I guess. You get a mansion with an assortment of rooms and need to decode how to progress further into the house: Solving a puzzle in the living room gives you a key to a drawer in the office, et cetera.

What really made me draw the Resident Evil connection is the abundance of lore-nuggets sprinkled about: It uses its premise of having two characters with memory issues to let the player ponder over two mysteries at once. Its a neat way to handle the story over its short runtime. Outside of solving that mystery the story isn't all that special on paper, and honestly I mostly played this game as preparation to eventually be able to play Another Code R on Wii.

Yet even in those 5 little hours and all that crust, you can definitely feel the Cing spirit here. The atmosphere of Blood Edward Island in general is fantastic, arguably better than Hotel Dusk, due both to the surprisingly large soundtrack as well as the absolutely brilliant use of the two-screen setups. Its straight-up one of the best Adventure game UI's I've ever used, having a 3D-modelled world on one screen as well as 2D stills of the island's most captivating viewpoints on the other. When paired with the music, it creates a kind of immersion I haven't really felt in any other game, and am sad to realize will probably never be seen in any future games given the 3DS' discontinuation. It really does help sell this abandoned mansion's eerieness to both be able to see it at large and see its more detailed spots at the same time.

What also helps with this is that, for as simple as the story is on the whole and as cutesy as the premise seems (A 14 year old goes investigating with her ghost best friend!!), it touches on some surprisingly dark yet very real subjects, with Ashley reacting accordingly. The writer of all four Cing games, Rika Suzuki, has always emphasized that Another Code is specifically about Ashley's mental state first and foremost, and I feel like these moments of discussing betrayal, suicide, abandonment and grief really tie the game together nicely. But really, what'll drive you through the game is its story and atmosphere, alongside the curiousity of how it'll use the DS hardware next.

With its puzzles feeling so deliberately designed to be "DS gimmicks" compared to the more grounded Hotel Dusk puzzles, it end up feeling somewhat self-aware in a really fun way, like "ooh yeah this puzzle is really clever of us", and you yourself cant do anything but go "yeahh youre right", even when they as puzzles are often not anything special. A lot of the time I'd even argue they're too cryptic for their own good.

The story at large is also like a puzzle in of itself, but with its aforementioned short runtime and constant new little pieces uncovered, alongside just generally pretty sweet little character moments, its very fun to just follow along with. Weird, grounded, silly, ominous, crusty, atmospheric: Another Code is most definitely able to be a lot of things in its runtime. At the end of the day I am still very glad I took the time to play it, if only for the memories it gave me.

[Playtime: 5 hours] [Key Word: Novelty]

[narratingvoice]

Well, I've found something interesting. (That being you by the way, if I didn't have a cat on my lap I'd be vibrating.)

What's it like being a formless, ethereal being compared to being in your model?

And if you had to pick one of the 4 classical elements for an aesthetic, which one would you pick?

Hello, and welcome to my blog! It's always a treat getting to meet such enthusiastic fans.

I assume that you, like most of my fans, are embodied in human form. I've found it challenging in the past to describe my experiences to humans; it's like that old question about, what if colours look different to you than they do to other people? We cannot cross the gap of qualia and know what another person is seeing. To help try and explain myself, I've put together this little chart comparing my abilities in each state:

As I've said before, I created my player model for playtesting, so that I can make sure the game looks right from Stanley's perspective. However I have also found it quite useful when giving him a stern talking-to just isn't cutting it. I can't count the number of times I've had to literally grab his hand and drag him away from doing something dangerous, like touching exposed wiring. And it's fun to tower over him with an intimidating glare.

The most immediate difference when I am in my model is the sense of singular place. Normally I am spread out, I fill the whole room or even the whole Parable if I unfocus my mind enough. Inhabiting a body seems rather limited in comparison. Imagine if you were locked in the broom closet and could only interact with the things inside it. That's a little bit what it feels like. It took me a while to get used to moving from place to place, rather than just being wherever I turn my attention to. And also to stop bumping into everything on the way because I don't just pass through things.

While I retain most of my control over the game, I can't create new assets on the fly while in my model. This is because I can't access the Unity menus from inside the game. I am also vulnerable to damage in this form; fortunately Stanley's teeth are not sharp. As for the whole "being seen" angle, I find it can be a pro or a con depending on my mood. Sometimes I want to be the centre of attention, to take up space and be present. Other times I find it mortifying when Stanley looks me in the eye. I want to melt away into nothing, so I do. Oh, I can't imagine what I'd do if I was stuck being seen all the time - no offense.

As for the element question, I think I favour water. Like me, it is protean, ever-shifting and versatile. It seems to be transient, yet it is forceful enough to wear rocks away. It can seep into any crack it finds, just as I am able to adapt to any situation. Yes, I like that metaphor.

[erisenyo]

15, 18 and 19 for the ask game!

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Another tough one! I think I'd pick between To Open Every Door To Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun because so many of the final scenes live in my head like a movie complete with like zoom-ins and scene cuts and soundtracks, and that would be amazing to see brought to life--

Or To Cleave These Roots We've Made because I think the hopping between the present and the past could be so fun and interesting to see on screen. There could be such a sense of the passage of time and the slow development of their friendship/relationship through the setting and clothing and knick-knacks around them and whatnot.

There's so much in my head about how their wardrobes slowly change, or the way their decorating tastes merge, or the differences in the apartments they live in year to year. I can't describe it in the story because my talent for folding that level of description naturally into the text isn't there yet, but I think it would add so much depth to their story to see it really brought to life!

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Just one lol? This was hilariously difficult to select for some reason, but I'm going with this Zuko POV in Ch 8 of These Things Written:

The 41st, Azula had written last night, and last survivors and died bravely in battle with that special little twist to her characters that Zuko knew was all sarcasm. She had referenced his little adventures and still and Zhao and war meetings and Father’s Council and it hurt, deep in his chest in a way he refuses to dwell on, to think of Azula sitting at that long table, at the Fire Lord’s right hand, only a year older than he was...

(Spoilers for some reveals at the end of the series)

I wrote this part, and the parts around Azula's letters in general, with the intent that Zuko's thoughts and reactions would make them feel purposefully mocking and designed to hurt him.

But the backstory behind them that never really found its way explicitly into the fic is that Azula uses them to covertly share information with Zuko about what's going on back home.

The hawks are hers (including Gao/Hawky, and back to Azula is where Hawky goes toward the end of These Things Written), she's providing an update that is painful, yes, but is also information that Zuko would want to know and that it could be dangerous for him to hear first from someone like Zhao, where Zuko can't choose to open it in private and process the information. And she's also slipping in information on Ozai's sentiments toward Zuko and on politics, which are pertinent for the little plot the two of them have vaguely working that doesn't start to come forward in the narrative until the end of These Things Known.

(And this isn't in the scene explicitly but I've been wanting to share it for a while so I'll include it anyway haha: Azula signals when she is lying or telling the truth depending on whether she calls Zuko 'brother' or 'Zuzu' throughout the series.)

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

I've done the hardest before (it's Hakoda, who I keep forgetting to write in entirely, or Iroh, who lives in such grey space in terms of his motivations and actions that I almost hate to pin down all his ambiguity haha) so I'll go for the easiest!

And I'll go with Zuko! His specific voice isn't necessarily as easy as Sokka's for me because it's so specific to where he is in terms of his journey, but in terms of writing about him--there's so much amazing material to work with. I love finding new ways to explore the tension between his morals and what he sees as his duty, his sense of responsibility and what he wants, the position he's in and the one he feels like he needs to occupy, his past and his present and his future, his desire to care and be cared for vs his need to seem invulnerable.

There's so much to dig into, and I love that there aren't always obvious answers for him and that him not always getting it right is such a part of the stories we can tell about him.

For this Behind the Scenes ask game!