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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years ago

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Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 35

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 35

The bungalow was surrounded by aged trees, blocking the sunlight year-round. A chill ran through his body as he walked into the building. The faint musty smell and moisture in the air reminded him of a basement filled with children's toys. Lin Yan followed the Zhongshan man into an office with an old-fashioned wooden table. On the table, there was a large stainless steel thermos. The desktop computer occasionally made some buzzing noises. The office was close to the toilet. It didn't take long for the smell of amonia to rush into his nose.

"Sit down, Lin. I'll grab the contact information of the recent archaeologists that were there. It's still locked in the cabinet." The Zhongshan suit man said as he poured Lin Yan a glass of water in a disposable paper cup. "The files on the table are more than 20 years old. They were just transferred out of the archive room. Feel free to look through them."

"Thank you for your help." Lin Yan said politely.

"No, it's no trouble at all. It's great to see young people so active nowadays. We all heard about what happened with the porcelain appraisal. That was really something. Professor Chen wouldn't stop bragging about it when he got back." The Zhongshan suit man chuckled. He placed a bowl of melon in front of Lin Yan then grabbed his key and left.

Lin Yan sat at the table and waited. The office decoration was old but good quality. The real leather swivel chair was comfortable to sit on. The shade of leaves outside the window blocked the sunlight. A sparrow leaped lightly among the branches. It flapped its wings and flew away.

There were a lot of files about the Ming tomb on the table, sorted into vellum envelopes. Lin Yan flipped through them. They included a large amount of background information on the time period, project approval forms, equipment rental statements, reimbursement vouchers, and so on. An envelope labelled 'Staff Information' caught his attention. Lin Yan brushed off the dust and opened the envelope. There were several smaller envelopes inside with labels written in faded ink. The top one was labelled "1987 Shanxi Archaeological Team Payroll", followed by several others, such as rosters, contact information, etc. The bottom one was marked with the word 'important,' written in red, and the label read: List of work-related casualties and compensation details.

Casualties? Lin Yan picked up the envelope. It was very thin. It was almost like there was nothing inside. The glue on the seal had expired and could be opened just by a light tear. The brownish-yellow paper had become hard and brittle after not being handled for a long time. Lin Yan carefully slipped his hand in. The envelope was empty. Only after fumbling inside the envelope for a while did he find a small thin piece of paper. The hand-drawn table lines were smudged at the top. At first glance, he knew that whoever wrote it had drawn it in a rush. The ink hadn't dried before they dragged the ruler across the page.

A series of footsteps echoing in the hallway approached. Lin Yan jumped, instinctively shoving the paper back into the envelope. it took him a second to remember that he had been given permission to go through the documents. The old information always gave him an anxious feeling, like he was intruding. He felt like a thief, fleetingly travelling back in time from modern times.

The footsteps moved further away. Lin Yan carefully examined the paper in his hand. Everything had also been written in pen. The names, reasons for compensation, amount of money compensated and other items were divided into columns. Lin Yan skimmed over the columns, heart bursting with fear

"Li Erzhuang, hand fracture, compensation of 30 yuan for medical expenses, collected and signed for."

"Sun Dapeng, psychosis, compensation for medical expenses of 150 yuan, collected and signed for."

"Wang Aiguo, psychosis, compensation for medical expenses of 150 yuan, collected and signed for."

". . ."

All the remaining reasons for compensation written in after the names were for psychosis, but the diagnosis details are all blank. The signature on the back was pretty crooked, too. Some of the ink was written so lightly that it was barely visible. Back then, villagers weren't very educated and many could only write their names. He glanced at the page filled with awkward handwriting. When he reached the last two lines, the signature column was blank. After a double-take, the column for the reason for compensation was listed as 'dead'.

"Jun Xiangdong, Jiang Ying . . . did these two die?" Lin Yan gulped. He carefully flattened the paper and muttered: "Compensation of one thousand yuan . . . Hey, that's weird, for these two people. How come it's written that their compensation hasn't been claimed? A thousand yuan was considered a huge sum of money in a village at that time . . ."

Lin Yan confusedly opened the envelope containing the staff list. He pulled out a stack of yellowed paper, flipping through each of them. Besides the detailed information of the students sent by the university who participated in the excavation of the Ming Tomb, the rest were locals. Most of the villagers were uneducated. They only filled in their name, age, gender and village name. Lin Yan counted them. There were 13 people in total. The oldest was only 24 years old, and the youngest was only 16 and 17. Eighteen-year-old children make up the majority. Lin Yan recalled what the professor said and let out a sigh. He couldn't imagine what it must have been like for those children to be haunted by illusions and see their friends die in front of them in such a strange way.

It was too much to think about. Lin Yan glanced back at Xiao Yu. The ghost was standing leisurely by the window with his arms crossed, looking at the scenery, as if this had nothing to do with him.

When turning back to Jun Xiangdong and Jiang Ying's forms, Lin Yan was surprised to find that the information left by these two people was almost blank. Compared to the information awkwardly filled in by the other villagers, only their villages and names were listed. Written next to them in black pen were the words "wage uncollected".

Lin Yan stared at the list of villages and frowned. He mumbled: "They're all foreigners? No wonder no one got any money after they died . . ." As he turned over the page of information on the two, there was only one last name at the bottom. The name on this page was Wang Zhong. Similar to Jun Xiangdong and Jiang Ying, there was almost no information is almost blank. He also wasn't a local. Written in big black letters in the upper right-hand corner was: "Wage uncollected".

"Wang Zhong, Wang Zhong . . . This person isn't on the compensation list." Lin Yan glanced through several forms and muttered: "Was he so afraid that he ran away without even getting paid?"

Lin Yan was immersed in a few old documents when, suddenly, the office door squeaked open. Zhongshan suit guy rummaged through the file in his hand as he walked in, muttering to himself: "What's going on . . . "

Hearing his voice, Lin Yan hurriedly put down the files and stood up. Zhongshan suit guy stepped in and waved his hands: "Sit down and sit down. My memory's not what it used to be. Obviously, I put it all away before I went on a business trip. Why can't I find it? "

"What can't you find?"

"Professor Chen said you are looking for the staff roster from the Ming Tomb archaeological expedition in Shanxi. I purposely found it and put it together. The cabinet was opened just now and everything else was there. The fortune-teller's information is the only one that's gone." Zhongshan suit guy shoved everything back into the folder and said to Lin Yan: "Look, everything is numbered. Everyone has one. I filled it out when I joined the team. I kept a copy of it for payroll statistics."

Lin Yan flipped through several forms, each of which was detailed with the staff’s name, ID number, telephone number, address, working hours and position, etc. Indeed, like Zhongshan suit guy said, the number between No. 34 and No. 36 was missing. But the information from the 30th onwards was very brief, some even only listing names and phone numbers. Those people are temporary workers. No. 34 was hired to drive a tractor. No. 36 and 37 were temporary cooks. The form ended on No. 37.

No. 35 should be the mysterious fortune teller.

"This man wasn't part of the team. He came to watch over things with a feng shui compass. He stayed to explain his plan for the excavation then left. He negotiated the price with me and said that he would wait to get paid until his method was proven useful. We had the money ready to go but he never came to get it, otherwise, the financial account would have been recorded."

Everything was done so neatly. Lin Yan stared at the extra space between No. 34 and No. 36 and furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't even want the money? What was he after?

"Please think it over again. Did you take it out before and put it somewhere else?" Lin Yan was a little impatient. "Or did another colleague take it away?"

Zhongshan suit guy rubbed his hands and stroked the key in his hand in confusion: "Impossible. I'm the only one with a key to the cabinet. I had organized everything and locked it in the cabinet before I left on the trip. It was gone as soon as I got back."

Lin Yan's heart skipped a beat. This seemed too coincidental. He glanced back at Xiao Yu. The ghost was staring at the door with furrowed brows and didn't respond to him.

Seeing that Lin Yan's screwed-up expression, Zhongshan suit guy picked up the paper cup on the table and filled it at the water dispenser. He put it back in front of him and comforted him: "It's okay. You sit and drink some water and eat some melon. I'll keep looking for it. I remember when that man first came and spoke in a mysterious way, no one believed him. He left a phone number and address, saying we would definitely have to call him again. And he was right."

"Where did I put it . . ." Zhongshan suit guy talked to himself while fiddling around in the office. Lin Yan wanted to help but was pushed back into the chair. He was forced to stare at the desktop screen saver. A bright, shimmering mass of lines shifted on a black background. Green, red, and blue lines slowly changing, becoming larger and smaller, rolling into a big mess. He couldn't make sense of it.

"Today isn't a good time. If you come at another time, you could ask someone else. Actually, today is our day off so the whole building is empty. I'm the only one who came here for a reason."

Lin Yan smiled embarrassedly: "That's too much trouble for you." Then a thought struck him and he casually mentioned: "There are still people here. I just heard footsteps in the hallway. They just passed by but didn't come in."

Zhongshan suit guy was washing his hands in the washbasin by the door but abruptly stopped when he heard this and looked up: "Impossible. There's no one in the building but flies. There are only three offices, I just checked them and no one's there."

Lin Yan took a sharp breath. He looked towards the dark corridor in the doorway and suddenly felt an ominous feeling.

Maybe it was just him passing by to check the information, Lin Yan reassured himself. When the sun changed its angle, a few loose beams of light penetrated into the room through the gaps in the leaves. The soft yellow light peaked in. The dust dancing in the light fell onto the dark brown tabletop. Beams jutting to the side illuminated a cactus that had been watered too much, its petals hanging down limply.

"Hey, I remember, wait a second." A hint of excitement flashed through Zhongshan suit guy's voice. In the lower part of the glass cabinet, he pulled out an old jacket and searched through the pockets. He fished out a crumpled note from a small pocket in the lining. He fumbled with the crumbled note, studied it over, muttering: "Right, right, this is it."

Zhongshan suit guy slapped the note down in front of Lin Yan's eyes: "The address and phone number."

Lin Yan's expression relaxed.

By noon, the weather was getting hot. Zhongshan suit guy turned on the fan. The buzzing of the fan blades and the rustling of the papers being blown rang out incessantly. Lin Yan put the phone up to his ear and held a pen in his other hand, scribbling on a notepad, the tip of the pen trembling slightly because of the anticipation.

"Beep . . . beep . . ."

". . . The number you have called is temporarily unavailable."

The voice of the phone message came four times in a row. Lin Yan and Zhongshan suit guy exchanged a glance. He dropped the receiver and languidly stretched. Looking at the lower part of the note, the address handwritten in pencil looks familiar. Where had he seen it? Lin Yan tugged at his collar. He wanted to unbutton it to get some air, but he suddenly remembered the string of hickeys on his neck and he hurriedly buttoned it back to the top.

There was a splash of water from the water dispenser, followed by a series of gurgling noises. A thought flashed through his mind. Lin Yan froze in place with his cup in his hand, like the solution had smacked into his brain like a hammer strike.

"Mr. Chen, what does the fortune teller you mentioned look like?"

Zhongshan suit guy thought for a moment and recalled: "It's been a long time so I don't remember clearly. He looked like he was in his 40s or 50s. He's about the same height as me, and his hair is very short."

Lin Yan gulped and entered the address into his phone's GPS. The green route map was displayed, extending all the way to the northwest.

That's it. Lin Yan stared at the red dot indicating the destination in the upper left corner and quietly thought to himself: I found you, temple master.

#dig a grave to dig out a ghost translation #dig a grave to dig out a ghost #danmei novel #danmei #chinese bl #bl novel #english translation #yaoi novel #yaoi

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angelxxreaper · 3 years ago

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YOU?????? DONT JUST GET OVER BEING ISOLATED FOR 500 YEARS??????

THAT IS CALLED SOCIAL ISOLATION.

"Chronically lonely people have higher blood pressure, are more vulnerable to infection, and are also more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Loneliness also interferes with a whole range of everyday functioning, such as sleep patterns, attention and logical and verbal reasoning. The mechanisms behind these effects are still unclear, though what is known is that social isolation unleashes an extreme immune response – a cascade of stress hormones and inflammation. This may have been appropriate in our early ancestors, when being isolated from the group carried big physical risks, but for us the outcome is mostly harmful.

Yet some of the most profound effects of loneliness are on the mind. For starters, isolation messes with our sense of time. One of the strangest effects is the ‘time-shifting’ reported by those who have spent long periods living underground without daylight. In 1961, French geologist Michel Siffre led a two-week expedition to study an underground glacier beneath the French Alps and ended up staying two months, fascinated by how the darkness affected human biology. He decided to abandon his watch and “live like an animal”. While conducting tests with his team on the surface, they discovered it took him five minutes to count to what he thought was 120 seconds."

"The most extensive took place at McGill University Medical Center in Montreal, led by the psychologist Donald Hebb. The McGill researchers invited paid volunteers – mainly college students – to spend days or weeks by themselves in sound-proof cubicles, deprived of meaningful human contact. Their aim was to reduce perceptual stimulation to a minimum, to see how their subjects would behave when almost nothing was happening. They minimised what they could feel, see, hear and touch, fitting them with translucent visors, cotton gloves and cardboard cuffs extending beyond the fingertips. As Scientific American magazine reported at the time, they had them lie on U-shaped foam pillows to restrict noise, and set up a continuous hum of air-conditioning units to mask small sounds.

After only a few hours, the students became acutely restless. They started to crave stimulation, talking, singing or reciting poetry to themselves to break the monotony. Later, many of them became anxious or highly emotional. Their mental performance suffered too, struggling with arithmetic and word association tests.

But the most alarming effects were the hallucinations. They would start with points of light, lines or shapes, eventually evolving into bizarre scenes, such as squirrels marching with sacks over their shoulders or processions of eyeglasses filing down a street. They had no control over what they saw: one man saw only dogs; another, babies.

Some of them experienced sound hallucinations as well: a music box or a choir, for instance. Others imagined sensations of touch: one man had the sense he had been hit in the arm by pellets fired from guns. Another, reaching out to touch a doorknob, felt an electric shock.

When they emerged from the experiment they found it hard to shake this altered sense of reality, convinced that the whole room was in motion, or that objects were constantly changing shape and size."

think about that for a fucking second. i am begging you to understand that you literally were in isolation for 500 years. did you see how dream was when he came out of prison? he was in isolation for just six months. SIX MONTHS.

i'm elaborating more in another message, because i'm going to pick apart your last response. ^_^

Well yeah, we all know that I'm a bit fucked with time lmao

I can lose 3 hours just standing there stirring cookie dough mix if I'm not actively talking to someone or have anyone to keep me grounded. I don't really think that's dementia as much as it is just being time blind in general. Techno and Wil are just getting more accurate in telling time with their age.

I've spent a while outside of isolation, it's okay. And Dream's a little shit, it's different.

#A Moment With The Crow Father [Asks]#homofem

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x0401x · 5 years ago

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Hoshiai no Sora: Cast Comments

Q & A with the voice actors of the main cast. Translated from the official Twitter. Feel free to point out any corrections, and please check out some of the creators’ accounts:

Akane Kazuki (director)

Itsuka (character designer)

Takeshi (animator)

Kyuujou Kiyo (illustrator)

Takahashi Yuuichi (animator)

MLANG (animator)

Hanae Natsuki-san (voice of Katsuragi Maki)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

At first, I guessed he was a cool and behaved kid, but this changed into the impression that he was a child with no two-facedness to him and a feel-good personality, who firmly conveys his own opinions without being swayed by the people around him. Also, he laughs and makes merry in accordance to his age too, so it is fun to play him.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was part of the soft tennis club, so I am extremely happy to get to perform in this production. Through this series, many things had me thinking, “This happens, this happens” and it makes me reminisce to my school days. I was the vice-president, but our tennis club was not that earnest about competing, so we did not go as far as Shijou Minami Junior High, but I believe the club activities had a similar air to them.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

This is a work that touches the rare subject of soft tennis, while the number of schools that only have regular tennis gradually increases as one goes from middle to high school. It is a given for people who take part in soft tennis, but the delicate feelings of middle schoolers are also being depicted here through getting quite deep into their core, so I believe this is a series that makes the ones watching feel and think all sorts of things. Please watch over it until the very end.

Hatanaka Tasuku-san (voice of Shinjou Touma)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

Shinjou Touma is a child with an extremely strong sense of responsibility. The environment he grew up in has an influence on this, but he ends up exploding due to shouldering too many things and not knowing how to let it out when it became hard for him... The more I get to know him, the more I feel like giving him a hug. That’s the kind of person he is.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was part of the basket club during my six years from middle to high school and on the bench. That’s why I would let my voice out higher than anyone, and since I could not manage to do anything whenever I entered the court, I would just run, anyhow. The nickname I earned from this was “Runner”. I was neither “center” nor “forward”, just “Runner”.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea of how this work will be receptioned. But I thought, “I want to respond to the things that the director wants to write about and to his passion, from the bottom of my heart”. That’s why I had strong thoughts about getting close to the individuals that appear in this story, being hurt and moving forward together with them, and taking part in this series. I am truly glad to have become involved with it. Please do have expectations for it.

Matsuoka Yoshitsugu-san (voice of Ameno Itsuki)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

He is a boy with a deep darkness to him, except this darkness has a proper reason to be, so I look forward to when people get shocked upon finding that out. He is also a cute boy, so I hope people will enjoy the many emotions, expressions and lines from him.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was in the wind instruments club, but I was always thinking about skipping. There were few guys in it, so whenever classes ended, a senior would often come to pick me up! Like, “Matsuoka! I’ll go with you!!” I really gave him a lot of trouble.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

It is turning into a story that will not go through conventional methods. Many individuals of all kinds appear in it, but this is a series that depicts each human being very rawly, so I hope people will enjoy this rich story until the end. We also want to perform “Hoshiai no Sora” to our utmost, so we will be in your care from now on too!

Satou Gen-san (voice of Futsu Rintarou)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

Rintarou is a very serious and kindhearted person who can observe his surroundings better than anyone. On one side, he is extremely sensible, overthinks, does not manage to give his opinions and ends up hiding his true thoughts, so when I perform him, I make sure to do it while deciding in my mind, “Don’t leave Rintarou on his own no matter what” and, “Stay close to him until the end”.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I used to belong to the kendou club, but the club activities were aimed to win the nationals, so practice was extremely severe. During practice match expeditions, we would ride in the late-night bus and keep practicing from morning to evening non-stop just like that, and to make our bodies grow bigger, we would eat a mountain of curry, fist-sized minced meat fried cakes and gigantic hot dogs in one go until we got upset stomatches, so I have the strong impression that it was strict and terrible if nothing else.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

I think its contents resonate with the hearts of both people who are currently students and people who are working as members of society. If they could love the characters of Hoshiai no Sora, who are somewhat heartrending but try to live day by day with utmost effort, I would be really happy.

Toyonaga Toshiyuki-san (voice of Soga Tsubasa)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

I have the impression that he is a child right in the middle of puberty, who ends up saying what he thinks aloud. It feels like he takes a while to find the will to do things, so I think he is simply carefree.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was a ghost member of the basket club. I joined because a girl I liked back then was a member of the female basket club. My motive was impure, huh (laughs).

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

I think it will be pretty impactful for those who watch it thinking that it is an uplifting youth-and-sports thing. It depicts all sorts of problems that actually happen in reality. Please do watch these strong messages with your families; I would be happy if they become a trigger for people to reflect on things.

Satou Keisuke-san (voice of Takenouchi Shingo)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

I thought Shingo was an upfront kid in a very good sense. Also, I felt that, in contrast with his strong-look appearance, he is very considerate of his friends, has a side to him that’s got guts, and is adorable too. I am really looking forward to how he will progress from now on.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was in the basket club, but all I did was slack off. There were only four members and the club activities only included running, and after that, we would do nothing but chat. Then we would run off so that the teacher of that period would not find us out (laughs). I would think, “One way or another, these are also memories of my youth”.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

Developments that people cannot predict at all are waiting, and they make you extremely anxious. It is fully loaded with obsession for even minute details, so you will be unable to take your eyes off it from the beginning to the end! I hope to enjoy these moments together with everyone. “Hoshiai no Sora” is in your care!

Koyabashi Yuusuke-san (voice of Tsukinose Nao)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

Nao is a child whose appearance and mind are flighty, and also a mysterious kid who speaks of dellusions as if they were actually reality. But during club activities, he makes efforts in his own way so that he will not drag everyone down, so the gap between this and his fickle personality left an impression on me.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was in the wind instruments club. I wanted to play the trumpet, but the pretty senior who was teaching us during the trial enrollment played the horn, so I was swayed by her sweet talk, and before I realized it, I was playing the horn myself (laughs). I should beware of sweet temptations, is what I thought during my middle school years.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

People might get tripped up if they are watching it thinking that it is an anime where children are enjoyably playing soft tennis to their utmost. It is precisely because those kids are at that age that I would like people to observe thoroughly the depiction of the mindsets they embrace.

Amasaki Kouhei-san (voice of Ishigami Taiyou)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

I think Taiyou-kun is a gentle child. He cannot decide things on his own, always taking action by matching up with other’s opinions. I felt that the way his Kansai dialect sometimes has a common language ring to it was realistic.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was in the swim club. During summer, we would swim over 10km from morning to evening. We would run the competitive club relays in the PE festival wearing one layer of swimsuit. I think it was an experience I can no longer manage.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

“Hoshiai no Sora” is a work made extremely carefully, and even during the post-recording, the love I can feel from the creators is huge, so I think it is a very good series. There is not much I can say, so I hope you all can see for your own eyes when you watch it on-air! We will be in your care!

Mineda Mayu-san (voice of Mitsue Kanako)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

When I first saw her, I thought, “I guess she’s a shy and quiet girl?”, but that was splendidly betrayed. Kanako is the type to straightforwardly say what she thinks to the other party, and I think this aspect of hers, in a good sense, reeks of humanity quite a bit.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was the president of the art club, but I would walk around campus after school and observe the activities of other clubs. That includes the soft tennis club and the like. To all the art club members of back then, I’m sorry for being such an undisciplined club president...

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

This story intersects with the many emotions of middle schoolers living in the current era, who might actually exist somewhere within Japan. Also, the sounds of batted balls and squealing of sneakers are very real and have intensity, so I would like people to pay attention to them as well.

Yamaya Yoshitaka-san (voice of Asuka Yuuta)

Q1. Please tells us your impression about the character you play.

He is androgynous and has a soft demeanor, and I think he is truly a boy of kindhearted disposition. He somewhat lacks confidence, so he steps back and has a bird’s-eye view of things, but there is a reason for it. I would like people to pay attention to him along with the other characters’ worries.

Q2. Please tell us a memory of club activities from your middle school days.

I was in the soccer club. I had many experiences, like how plain fun it was kicking the ball, having awkward relationships, and learning the joy of getting sweaty doing practice and winning.

Q3. Leave a message for the people watching the series.

This is not just a multi-protagonist story about the youth of bright and uplifting boys. Troubles and issues that surely exist somewhere out there, though people usually do not try to look at them, are depicted realistically in it, and there were times it made my chest hurt. I want everyone to watch how each of them will face the things they are shouldering until the very end.

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catflowerqueen · 5 years ago

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Guess what I did last night instead of working?

Hidden in Plain Sight

Chapter 2: Children are Precious

A/N: If you are confused about the "Sudowoodo" thing Wigglytuff mentions in this chapter, it might be good to go back and read chapter 41, "Brutal," from Missing Scenes.

Chapter 2: Children are Precious

The morning may have been bright and cheery, while the breeze held a pleasant coolness that could cut through even the thickest bouts of heat and humidity, but it did nothing to penetrate the tense and awkward air of Wigglytuff's quarters that morning as he and his head of intelligence attempted to act naturally and un-flustered around their youngest apprentices. For all that the two of them had made plans and preparations for this conversation during the return trip from the expedition, it was a lot different to try and implement any of them while staring the two bright hopefuls in their slightly-tired, yet still eager faces. Even Wigglytuff, usually so vibrant and at ease when talking to his recruits, was at a loss for how to start.

Luckily, though, his best friend and right-wing man was able to put his usual flustered and slightly anxious attitude towards all things pertaining to the running of the guild to good use when he finally ruffled his feathers a bit before clapping his wings together and saying, "Well, then! I'm sure the two of you are wondering why I called you in here this morning, yes?"

Paula, ever bright and eager, twitched her ears in confusion. "Huh? Didn't you call us in here to find a good hiding spot for the Time Gear?" She turned to her partner, who gripped the bag holding the Time Gear—which she hadn't set down even once since placing it inside—even tighter, as if she was reluctant even now, in the safety of the guild, to let it out of her sight for fear of something happening to it. "That's what he said when we got home last night, right, Laura? Or did I mishear that?"

Both girls turned expectantly towards Chatot, seeking confirmation, but the action only served to make the flying-type even more flustered.

"That is… er, well, yes, that is one of the reasons," Wigglytuff's closest friend and partner finally managed to stammer out. "But there's also the matter of the two of you to consider, in light of the information we learned from Uxie."

The two girls looked confused, and their expressions… well, looking at them now Wigglytuff couldn't believe he'd never realized how young the two of them really were. Competent, budding explorers they may be, but the fact that they didn't—or couldn't—consider the implications behind making all of the decisions they had at such a young age… well, if anything, it certainly made Wigglytuff feel a lot more sympathy for what his parents had gone through when he was a kid, off exploring with Master Armaldo. While he would always remember his master with fondness and gratitude for all his lessons, looking back at those times now, with these two kids staring so bright-eyed and naïve in front of him, he could admit that he definitely hadn't thought things through as a kid, and his parents had been completely right to worry about what he'd been up to. But at the same time… he had, in his own roundabout way, told his parents and friends what he'd been doing. He could even remember one time outright telling his father that he was spending the day with Master, but his father had apparently thought he'd just meant he was spending the day with a friend he "respected a great deal," or something along those lines. The most important thing that he and Chatot could do right now was to listen; while there could be perfectly reasonable and innocuous reasons for the girls to have made the decisions they did… it was equally, if not more, likely that something else was going on that the girls just didn't have the experience or knowledge necessary to understand the full implications of.

It wasn't really something that he wanted to consider, but… as he and his partner watched the girls sleeping at night during their trek back to the guild—because despite how good a job Bidoof and the girls had done in getting to the campsite safely, there was no way they were going to let Team Rainbow out of their sight after learning how young and vulnerable they really were, let alone when one of them currently had custody of such a precious artifact—the two of them couldn't help but compare interactions they'd had with the duo since they joined the guild and belatedly notice some dangerous red flags that popped up. Oh, Wigglytuff had definitely noticed a few concerning things before, especially regarding Laura, but with the additional knowledge of their ages and Laura's species change and memory loss to consider, things that he'd initially just thought were some bigger than average stumbling blocks he and Chatot would have to help the two smooth out in order to become top-notch explorers were now suddenly blaring warning signs that something was probably seriously wrong with their situation.

"I suppose we should start with the simpler—for a given value of the term—situation," Chatot said, bringing Wigglytuff out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. His friend took a fortifying breath and turned a worried gaze to the Electric-type in the room. "Paula… are things… okay, at home?"

Paula looked even more confused now, and shared a baffled glance with her partner. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

And, really, where could they even start without upsetting her? At the fact that the Raichu-line wasn't native to the area, so she likely would have had to travel some distance before even reaching their guild, and none of the other apprentices had noticed any other pikachu or raichu in or around town on the day that Diglett first reported seeing her footprints? Or the very fact that since Diglett had admitted to seeing her footprint appear multiple times before she finally joined, despite there still being no reports of her species-line in town—or, for that matter, reports of anyone from another species-line who looked like they could be parents or guardians, but who did not already have their charges close at hand— it heavily implied that she had been left to fend for herself for a few weeks at the very minimum? Or even the fact that—and this was an especially sickening one to worry about, but… The fact that, normally, if a pichu evolved as young as Paula had—Paula, who was already straddling the line of what was considered the minimum age for a pikachu, but who had to have evolved even younger considering the current issues with anyone evolving at all—when their requirements included not only experience and knowledge, but also an extremely strong bond… it implied that something had seriously gone awry. Something along the lines of what the first outlaw they'd capture had attempted to do with—no, even worse than that, for he, at least, was going to return Azurill to his brother immediately after laying claim to the supposed treasure of Mt. Bristle. This was more like… Wigglytuff shuddered to think it, considering how blasé he'd been about the situation (and how, unbeknownst to him at the time, Laura did, in actuality, fit within the usual demographic perfectly) but… it was more along the lines of what Sudowoodo, the Kidnapping Mastermind, did to his victims—had planned on doing to Laura if she hadn't defeated him on that mission with Croagunk—if over a longer period, and with no plans for ransom.

But he supposed that Chatot had a point with starting with what was easiest. So, rather than bringing any of those possibilities to light, Wigglytuff instead offered, "We're concerned because, normally, pokémon don't join guilds until they're a few years older than you are now." Paula looked absolutely baffled at this, so Wigglytuff gave her a wry sort of smile and leaned closer, as if confiding a secret, and admitted, "Even though people call me a prodigy… I didn't start exploration work in earnest until I was at least sixteen. There was that period when I was a lot younger, yes… but! Even then, I had Master Armaldo with me. And my parents were super upset when they found out. It took a long time and a lot of learning and studying before they felt okay with letting me do it again, and do it on my own. And if there had been a guild like this one nearby, they probably would have wanted me to wait even longer so I could study there first before setting off as an explorer. It can be dangerous work, after all!" At that, the Balloon Pokémon nodded once and then leaned back. "So, Paula, you can see why we're a bit… worried, yes? You're our precious friendly-friend, so when we see that your parents let you leave so soon, and without—"

"But—!" Paula suddenly interrupted, looking a little shocked, "But this is the age everyone joins the guild back home!"

Wigglytuff reeled back a bit more in absolute shock. "Oh, oh?" he asked, mildly, for the sake of the child in front of him, though his anger was starting to rise at the thought that there was any guild out there taking advantage of the young like this—or, even worse, that there was a community which condoned it to the point of the practice being so widespread.

"Yeah!" Paula affirmed, nodding rapidly before suddenly wincing. "I mean… I guess my brother was a little older," she admitted. But she was quick to add, "But only by, like, a year. And only because Ricky was mom and dad's firstborn, and they were worried! But he told us that he was still one of the oldest kids at the entry level for the Torterra Guild at the time, and—"

"Wait a moment! Paula, did you say the Torterra Guild?" Chatot suddenly interjected. He, like Wigglytuff, had been gearing up in anger over the apparent malpractice of a fellow guild, but upon hearing the name of the guild in question, he felt nothing but confusion. "Paula, are you sure you have that name correct? I have never seen an apprentice from the Torterra Guild who was younger than Bidoof's age—and even he would be right on the edge of acceptable!"

Paula rolled her eyes—her anxiety and confusion in the situation momentarily forget that she was standing in front of an authority figure whom she would normally show more respect to, if only to avoid a lecture on decorum. "Well I mean, yeah, obviously they don't let you become an apprentice until you've passed all your tests and things, and that can sometimes take years, but—"

"Squawk! Wait a moment, what—? Tests? I… what?" Chatot shared a bewildered look with the Guildmaster.

"That's… yes?" Paula said, seeming unsure now herself. "You know… for all the classes you have to take before you can move onto the explorer track?" At the duo's blank stare, she tried to break it down further. "The life skills classes? Where they teach you things like foraging, map-reading, tool making… stuff like that. Then, if you decided to join under the 'Exploration Team' track, if you pass all your tests, you get to actually call yourself 'Apprentice' for real, and do more of the explorer-specific training, instead of just the public stuff you get to do as a 'recruit' or 'member.'"

"The… the 'public stuff'?" Chatot questioned, still trying to wrap his mind around the information Paula was giving him.

Paula shrugged. "Yeah. I mean… not everyone who joins the guild wants to be an explorer. A lot of pokémon just want things like the life skill classes I just talked about, since they're also really helpful for people who want to be, like, shopkeepers or something. Or who travel a lot. Or who want to be able to mend their own scarves and blankets, or whatever. Stuff like that. They're really useful, so lots of pokémon join and graduate—but only the ones who go on to join the Exploration Team track actually get to say that they apprenticed under them."

This explanation did a lot to calm Wigglytuff and Chatot down from their earlier rage—although, rather than completely remove his agitation Chatot seemed to turn it more towards mumbling something about "inflated graduation rates" and "no wonder they seem to be everywhere" But while it might have dispelled some of the red flags regarding why Paula joined a guild at such a young age, there were still plenty of others—such as, "Why did you decide to join a guild so far from home, then?"

Paula rubbed the back of her neck, putting some serious thought into Wigglytuff's question. "I mean… I did almost join the Torterra Guild. There are lots of good things about it! Some of the teachers I met with said I'd probably even be fast-tracked because of how good Ricky did, and how I already knew some of the stuff from when he accidentally sent us his homework, instead of letters. But… then I just would have been under his shadow for the whole time. I want to become an explorer on my own merits!"

That was a familiar sentiment to Wigglytuff, and he spared a surreptitious glance towards his partner. Just as he'd thought, Chatot had frozen at the words, calming down slightly and fixing Paula with a sympathetic stare. He had his own brother issues after all. But Paula wasn't finished.

"Also… I mean, I was already considering your guild a little bit, too, Guildmaster Wigglytuff. Basically every explorer hopeful does! And all your graduates are always really great at exploring, and I wanted to focus more on the exploration stuff anyways. And then there was this dream I had, where…" she trailed off, blushing a little, "Um, I guess that part's not important… but anyways… that's why I decided to try and join here, instead."

"Yes, well, that's all perfectly understandable," Chatot suddenly cut in, preening a bit at the praise. "We are a very prestigious institution, after all! But," he calmed down and gave her a serious look, "Paula… you do realize that most guilds do not actually offer classes of that sort… yes?"

Paula looked stunned; apparently, she had not, in fact, realized this. Chatot's eye started twitching a bit. "In fact… most guilds expect you to join with those skills already in hand. There is no 'recruit' or 'member' phase before you can become an apprentice. When you join, you are an apprentice from the start. And, from the sounds of things, in terms of actual apprentice work, the Torterra guild is not too far off in terms of expectations—they still require their apprentices to know certain skills beforehand, skills which take years to learn.

"So, Paula… if you thought that you would be spending a few years on classwork before you started exploration work in earnest… then why didn't you say anything when the first thing I had you do was take an actual job off the job board, rather than giving you any of those lessons?"

Paula blushed even harder. "I kind of, um… I thought that maybe that was your version of an entrance exam? Like… you were gauging how good we already were as explorers, and since we successfully completed the mission, it meant you were fast-tracking us?" Chatot just stared at her. "But I guess… that's not what you were doing?"

Chatot's wings met his face, and he started muttering again about backfiring plans. If Wigglytuff hadn't wanted to keep up a calm, assuring persona in front of Team Rainbow, he would have winced in sympathy at Chatot's plight. After all, Wigglytuff well-remembered the discussion he and Chatot had after the whole Star Cave incident regarding Bidoof, and the way they'd been handling training their apprentices up until that point. Paula's assumption about them having an entrance exam of sorts wasn't exactly unwarranted… it's just that until Team Rainbow had joined, it had never been quite so formalized, or focused on the outright "exploring" aspect of their line of work.

Normally when Team Perfect Apple admitted new recruits to their guild, they conducted a sort of "observation period" to see what sort of skills the pokémon came in with, the areas they were most in need of improvement, if there was anything in particular they already excelled at… things like that. This typically took the form of assigning some menial tasks and then observing them as they completed them. It was surprising the sort of information one could glean from such things if they were truly paying attention. For example… having a new recruit run small errands for the other apprentices involving fetching them specific items let Chatot and Wigglytuff know how good the new recruit's skills were when it came to identifying the differences in seeds and berries—after all, it would be terrible for an explorer to think they'd stocked up on Reviver Seeds or Oran Berries when, instead, they'd accidentally packed their look-alikes! Sending a recruit to Kecleon Market in order to check their stock helped gauge things such as memorization and information retention, since while they would be sent out with a list, they would still have to remember the responses of the proprietors—or, if they were extremely clever recruits, they might think outside the box and bring a writing implement to scribble down the answers on the back of the list. Then, of course, there were the tasks such as general maintenance, which told the Guildmaster and his Head of Intelligence anything from whether or not the recruit knew how to sew, to their physical fitness levels. Once the duo had a baseline, they could begin implementing specific training programs and slowly begin sending the recruits out into the field, where these basic skills would provide a firm foundation as they started proper exploring.

It also let them see what other areas would need improvement. For instance, while Loudred was incredibly strong and could rattle off the exploration basics if directly asked, putting such things into practice had… mixed results. He was often impatient, and went a bit too much with gut feelings instead of taking a moment to plan, or think things through. Not to mention that his brain to mouth filter wasn't the greatest. But, depending on what sort of work he wanted to specifically focus on after graduating, some of these skills would be… not "less important," per say, but less often used. This was why they had offered him the chance to take the graduation exam last year, after Sunflora turned the opportunity down. It wasn't entirely surprising that he'd failed—their guild had strict expectations, after all, and it often took more than one attempt to pass successfully—but the fact that it had still been mostly due to his impatience meant that this was an area he needed to double down and improve on. So, Chatot and Wigglytuff had discussed it and opted to put him on sentry duty—where he would have to really think things through in regards to whether or not someone should be allowed into the guild, and where he would have to take the time to think before he spoke his mind when it came to assuaging the fears of panicking pokémon coming to the Wigglytuff Guild seeking assistance, or those who needed reassurance that, yes, their friends and family really had been found safely and would be returning soon. As well as, of course, maintaining the proper dignity and respect when faced with officials like Officer Magnezone or his deputies, or other esteemed visitors to the guild. For the most part, it appeared to be working… although recent events—specifically with some of the things the Big Voice pokémon had said or implied about Laura on this last expedition—made Wigglytuff think that he had backslid a little, and that he and Chatot needed to actually sit him down and spell it out for him why he'd been put near-permanently on sentry duty in the first place.

In any case… this system had worked just fine until Bidoof joined the guild. Now, to be perfectly fair to Bidoof, part of the problems he'd had stemmed from the fact that while the Bibarel-line did ultimately end up as both Normal- and Water-type… their skill set when it came to daily living typically geared more towards life on the water. But since they could comfortably spend time on land, many of them tended to have unrealistic expectations for what life was like for those living there full-time. This was especially true among the young—and, considering that Bidoof himself was just barely at an age any sane or reasonable pokémon would reasonable for someone to start exploration, he was definitely counted in that category. This meant that there were a lot of skills he didn't have, simply because he wouldn't have thought he'd need them—or, in cases such as berry identification, because he hadn't realized that there was more for him to know.

Although, really, his biggest issue upon joining had been his stamina and mobility. While the Bibarel line was surprisingly agile in the water—considering their size and seeming lack of aquatic appendages—they couldn't really move all that quickly on the land. While this typically wasn't a problem for them, since, again, most of their time was spent in the water, what Bidoof hadn't considered when choosing to join the Wigglytuff guild was that most of his exploration work and training would be taking place in dungeons where water was scarce—at least in terms of being able to swim in it. Corphish actually had a similar problem when he first joined, if to a lesser degree. While the Crawdaunt-line shared general habitats with that of the Bibarel-line, Corphish in particular had lived beneath the waves given that his father was apparently from a different species-line, one that needed to live underwater full time. As such, Corphish already knew from the start that life on land would likely be very different than life underwater, even if he couldn't quite manage to imagine what it would actually be like. In preparation for this, he'd tried to learn all he could and keep an open mind about things so that he could quickly learn about everything else. With no preconceived notions, and the knowledge that there was a lot he didn't know, he was able better able to outright ask for information and help, and to admit from the start that there was a lot he needed to learn. With Bidoof, however, since he had lived partially on land his whole life, he'd had a lot more misconceptions about the wider world that weren't as easily shrugged off. This meant that he ran into the issue of not knowing the sorts of things he didn't know—meaning that he came in with fewer skills and had a harder time when it came to asking about what sorts of things he should know or learn, even after getting the physical aspects down.

With Corphish, they could start to send him out on easy missions once his physical abilities had improved enough since he knew enough about the other subjects that it would only be a benefit to him, even if he didn't know absolutely everything that could prove useful. Heck, at that point, he still hadn't known most things that he would need to in the long run. But when it came to Bidoof… he'd started at a disadvantage on both fronts, and it had been long enough since Corphish had passed that point (coupled with a few nasty incidents in those early days that led them to regret sending him out as soon as they did and that had made them even more wary when it came to planning for Bidoof) that they hadn't really realized they'd kept Bidoof back from the more hands-on aspects of exploration work for far longer than they should have until he decided to rebel and had almost gotten seriously hurt during the whole Star Cave thing.

With that in mind, when it came to Team Rainbow's observation period, Chatot had suggested—and Wigglytuff had agreed—that they should let them try and fulfill a simple job request from day one, and then to gauge how they did from there. If they happened to fail, then not only would it help establish a baseline for them as far as Wigglytuff and Chatot were concerned, but it would also hopefully teach the girls that they weren't ready yet for the hands-on work, which would hopefully keep them from getting as impatient or disheartened as Bidoof did.

Except Paula and Laura succeeded with aplomb—and even more so the next day when they successfully defeated their first outlaw with no outside help, despite the fact that Chatot had intended for Bidoof to go along with them after helping them pick a job, as outlaw missions could be tricky for new recruits. The two achieved success after success, and while normally that would be something to applaud… considering what they knew now, Chatot had a point about the plan backfiring spectacularly.

Given everything they had achieved so far, is was clear to Wigglytuff that these girls, like him, were exploration prodigies. But the fact that they were prodigies with so many successes behind them only served to mask the very real issues they were facing. If one didn't know their true ages… just looking at the surface level, it seemed that the two of them were just your average recruit. Perhaps below average, even, for how naïve and ignorant they could be about common exploration topics. But that wasn't the case at all; yes, there was a lot they didn't know, but that was in no way their fault. They were literally children. There was no way they would have had the time to learn everything they needed to know. But because they were prodigies and Paula had admitted to having access to a few higher level bits of learning via her brother, let alone whatever skills Laura had brought to the table, the two of them were able to effectively pool their resources enough to make it look as though they had more training than they actually did. Furthermore, with Paula's explanations of the Torterra Guild and her expectations going into the Wigglytuff Guild… it made sense why neither of them would have asked for additional lessons or training. He and Chatot thought the girls already knew the basics, while Paula assumed that since neither he nor Chatot had brought it up it meant they thought Team Rainbow hadn't needed to know more than they already did. And given Laura's still unaddressed amnesia issues, it was unclear how much she actually knew about guilds in general, let alone what sorts of expectations she would have had at the start of training.

Wigglytuff nodded to himself as the pieces clicked together to form a clearer picture of what happened. Assuming it was all true—and Wigglytuff didn't really have any reason to doubt that it was—it made complete sense why a parent would allow their child to join at such a young age. There was one thing that still bothered him, though…

The Balloon pokémon clapped his hands together, bringing everyone's attention back to him. "Well, now that that's been cleared up, it makes perfect sense why friendly-friend Paula would have come all this way to join us at such a young age—especially if your parents thought the same too! But…" his gaze turned serious again, unnerving Paula enough that she actually gulped in apprehension. "That still doesn't explain why they would have let you come here all on your lonesome. After all, friendly-friend Diglett said he'd seen your footprint lots of times before you and Laura actually joined us, Paula. Enough times that it had to have been weeks since you'd arrived in town—meaning that you would have been alone for all that time." The "And having to fend for yourself for all that time when that is never a child's job" part went unsaid.

But it didn't go unheard, because Paula picked it up immediately and tried to go for a world-record in "most blushes within the hour" when the rest of her face turned as red as her cheeks once more. "Oh, yeah, that's mostly on me."

Wigglytuff raised a skeptical brow.

"Okay, so, my parents did want to escort me here, but I thought it would be kind of… embarrassing. I'm kind of the baby of the family, and they can get really fussy and just… uh… a bit much when it comes to my accomplishments. Like… right after I evolved, they wanted to throw some sort of big party, and I just—" she shook her head, as if trying to dispel an embarrassing memory. "—Anyways! The point is that I convinced them not to come. But they were still really worried, so they made Ricky escort me as a compromise. But I mean… he's, well, him, so it would have been even more embarrassing if he'd come in with me. So, I told him that I would be fine if he just left me at the crossroads, especially since his team probably had a lot of missions to do that they needed their leader for. But then after I made it to the grate I kind of… chickened out a little. Or… a lot." She winced. But then she turned to her partner, a huge smile on her face, "But then I met Laura, and we decided to join together!"

The explanation and accompanying smile eased a lot of the guildmaster's fears. It still wasn't great that Paula had been left to fend for herself during that period of time, but coupled with the rest of her explanations, and how bright, happy, and—most importantly—healthy she'd been upon finally joining his guild, it probably meant that Paula's situation wasn't nearly as bad as Wigglytuff had been fearing after learning her true age. Even considering her early evolution… well, there wasn't really a tactful way to bring it up anyways, especially in the face of everything else they'd learned. But considering her sincerity about everything, he was willing to believe there was a reasonable explanation for that as well. After all, it wasn't like there hadn't been any cases of a pichu evolving young in perfectly benign circumstances—it was just rare for one to both gain the knowledge and experience necessary and then form a close enough bond that quickly when there wasn't something… else… hastening it along. But given Paula's stories about studying her brother's homework, it was clear that, if given the chance, Paula could happily devote time to learning of her own volition. Also, considering how close she had become with Laura—close enough to form a team and partnership, even—after only knowing her for such a brief period of time, he could easily see Paula having formed a close enough friendship with someone to act as a catalyst in her younger days.

But, speaking of Laura…

"What's the next issue?"

All eyes turned to the treecko in the room. She briefly looked away under the scrutiny of her Guildmaster and his Head of Intelligence's gazes, but then she gripped her team's Treasure Bag harder for a moment, seeking comfort, and continued, "You said that Paula's situation was simpler, and considering what else we learned from Uxie, I'm guessing the next thing we're going to talk about is me, but…" she looked away again, shrinking back slightly, "…since I can't remember my past, I don't really know why I was alone on the beach when Paula found me, or about what my home life was like."

"Well, yes, that is among our concerns," Chatot acknowledged, "but more importantly…" he trailed off with a wince, unsure how to continue.

Paula shuffled closer to her partner, leaning against her shoulder a little to provide moral support as Laura looked between Chatot and Wigglytuff in trepidation. The mystery was definitely concerning, since, as far as Wigglytuff knew, humans aged at around the same rate as pokémon and were just as protective and nurturing as them when it came to their children. Even disregarding the weirdness of the species change—which was a concerning mystery in and of itself, but one which they were unlikely to solve any time soon given that even Uxie, who was so knowledgeable and had literally looked inside her head for answers had no idea—there were not many circumstances which could be deemed "good" which would leave a child as young as Laura in such a lonely, vulnerable position. Especially considering that she had amnesia, since there were even fewer circumstances in which such a condition could be deemed as "good."

But that wasn't the most important thing at the moment, and, even as it pained him to say it, the question had to be asked: "Laura," Chatot finally continued, putting as much gentleness into his voice as he could, "do you actually… want to be here?"

Laura blinked in obvious confusion, and Chatot started wincing again, as if it physically pained him to have to clarify his meaning. "That is… do you actually want to be an apprentice at the guild?"

Laura still looked confused, but hesitantly answered, "Y-yes…?"

But everyone in the room could sense how unsure that answer was—including her partner, whose eyes suddenly widened as she looked towards the treecko in shock and… guilt? As if suddenly realizing something for the first time. Given what Paula just told them about her past, and her obvious dedication to the vocation considering she was willing to devote herself to it so young, it was a feeling Wigglytuff could sympathize with. It was always hard the first time you were confronted with the fact that not everyone was as interested or passionate about exploring as you were; the fact that friends who had decided to become teachers or shopkeepers did so not because they felt themselves ill-suited to the work of exploration and thought that this was a better way for them to contribute to help other explorers, but because their actual passions were, in fact, shop-keeping or teaching. The fact that it wasn't just unavoidable or important duties which kept pokémon out of the field, but that there were some pokémon who were, at best, indifferent to exploring and, at worst, outright hated it. It had to be an even harder realization to face that it was entirely possible that one's best friend also fell into those latter categories, at least to some degree. But considering how dangerous being on an Exploration Team could be—how dangerous it had already proved to be, for these two (because even though Uxie's Groudon illusion was just that, an illusion, it was still an incredibly realistic and dangerous foe, considering how effective it had been up until that point at keeping visitors away from Fogbound Lake, and it wasn't something that two kids should have had to deal with—especially not on their own. And that wasn't even getting into the fact that they had apparently been targeted by Team Skull—more than once, if their behaviors while interacting with them while the trio was staying at the guild were any implication).

"I mean," Laura's voice grew quieter and even more unsure and faltering, as was typical for her when placed unexpectedly into the spotlight, "Paula's my friend, and we work well together… and she's helped me out so much and… so when she asked… when she needed help… how could I say no?" Laura looked around, confused and desperate, trying to meet first Chatot's eyes—which were turned away, his face an expression of deep pain despite how hard he was trying to hide it for young Laura's sake—then Paula's—though she quickly turned away herself after seeing the absolute devastation in the pikachu's eyes—and finally Wigglytuff's.

Though it was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do (because, how, how could he have missed something like this? The entire reason he'd let her join his guild in the first place was because he'd sensed she'd needed help, and yet when it came down to actually helping her…), he met her seeking gaze dead-on, his own eyes as gentle and apologetic as he could make them.

"It's great that you wanted to help your friend," he assured her, pleased as some of the tension drained out of her frame. "But that's not what Chatot and I are concerned about." He leaned back a little in thought. "Hm… How to put this… Okay. So, you know what we were just worried about with Paula, right? About how she was left on her own, and how we were worried that her being here as young as she was meant that she didn't have anyone back home she could rely on?" He waited for Laura's hesitant nod before continuing, "Well, it's the same sort of thing for you, friendly-friend; we're worried that the only reason you joined is because you felt like you didn't have any other options."

At the dual wince Team Rainbow gave—each colored by their own varying shades of guilt and shame—Wigglytuff gave a sad little sigh. "I understand that things were probably really hard for you then, and that you didn't know what to do. And, again, it really is admirable how you were willing to help out your new friend like that! But… it seems like most of Paula's struggles when it came to finally joining us was that she needed a little boost of courage to take those last few steps and actually stay and stand firm until Loudred opened the gates. And… I can see how your amnesia might have meant that you didn't really know what being on an exploration team really meant at first," he paused as she gave another little wince. "But, Laura… after being with us a few days, and seeing how we worked and what sorts of things we did… surely you knew that if you'd just asked us for help, we would have given it to you… right? You know you don't have to trade working for us—putting yourself into danger on a daily basis—for help… right?"

Laura's face grew red, and she mumbled something too low for Wigglytuff to hear. But apparently Chatot heard it, as he finally stopped wincing at the absolute shock of it and whipped around to face her. "I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?!"

Laura's face grew even redder as she gave a little cough and repeated, in a voice barely louder than her previous attempt but just loud enough for Wigglytuff to hear this time, "I mean… it does seem like most of the clients offer rewards for work… and since I wouldn't really have any money or anything if I wasn't taking jobs, I just…"

She trailed off into mumbling again, but it was enough for Wigglytuff to get the gist of what she meant. The thought of it made him feel a little sick, and even more worried about this precious child than he already was.

Chatot flapped his wings to get her attention, looking a little queasy himself. "Laura, I know that in the past I may have seemed a bit, ah, too concerned, shall we say, with the state of the guild's coffers and reputation and… things of the like. But I assure you: we—and any self-respecting guild or explorer—would never turn someone away who needed help because we didn't think they pay us for it! In fact, payment is never a prerequisite for asking for our help! And beyond that," his eyes turned serious, "you are a child. Even if we hadn't already assumed a duty of care for you when you signed on as an apprentice, you still would have been able to depend on us for assistance simply because children should never be forced to fend for themselves. That's the job of the adults—whether or not they also happen to be excellent explorers. Do you understand?"

She didn't entirely look like she did, honestly, but… she looked like maybe she could start trying to. It was enough for Chatot to be able to give an exasperated sigh and say, "Well, whether or not you understand, can you at least believe me that, whether you actually want to be an explorer or not, we of the Wigglytuff Guild will still take care of you until you decide you want to leave? And that even then, we will still ensure that you are in a safe place before we actually leave you entirely?"

She looked much more confidant at this, and gave a little nod. The two adults in the room all but sagged in relief, and Chatot said, "With that in mind, I'll ask again: Do you actually want to be here, to be an explorer?"

Laura took a moment to actually consider it, this time. Her eyes were thoughtful, and she even went so far as to put her hand on her chin. "I think… I don't actually know," she truthfully admitted. "I mean… I like exploring—especially when I get to do it with Paula," she stopped here to give her partner a quick grin, which was tearfully returned—it seemed as though Paula had gone through her own whirlwind of emotions during Chatot and Wigglytuff's explanations, especially in regards to feeling guilty that she might have dragged Laura into a life that she actually hated because of her own selfish dream of being an explorer, when it was obvious that Laura was in need of serious help. She still felt kind of guilty about everything, but Laura's assurance that she did, in fact, enjoy exploring helped lighten her heart a little, and she vowed that whatever Laura's answer, she would do her best to support her.

"And," Laura continued, unaware of Paula's silent convictions, "I like hanging out with everyone every day, and getting to learn from them, but as for the future… I don't really know. Maybe one day I'll hear about a job or something that I really want to do instead, or," she paused again, giving a little shrug, "maybe if Uxie's right and I do get my memories back in a few years, I'll remember that there's a job that I'd already decided I really wanted to do, but just can't remember right now. …Assuming it's even a job I could still do, considering I'm not human any more, and I don't know if I ever will be again. But… I think for right now, at least, I want to continue being an apprentice," she finally decided. But then she seemed unsure of herself again, toeing the ground and shyly asking, "Is… is that okay? Even if I change my mind later?"

It was everything Wigglytuff could do to hold in his sigh of relief, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold back his smile. That was all right, though—he was known for his happy smiles, and this was definitely something to be happy about. "Of course it is, friendly-friend! We'd love to have you stay and learn with us, for however long you'd like to! But!" he said suddenly, cutting off her own sigh of relief and making her choke on air a little. "That does bring us to the third issue we need to discuss."

Team Rainbow shared a confused look before Paula blinked and her expression cleared as the likely topic hit her. "Right, now we have to talk about hiding the Time Gear!"

"Er, well… yes and no," Chatot said, drawing their once-more confused gazes towards him. "That is part of it, yes, but more importantly… do you recall what I said about the Torterra Guild being an outlier in terms of offering classes to recruits as part of guild membership?"

"Yes…?" Paula said, still confused, before she realized something and her ears drooped in sadness. "Oh… so since the Wigglytuff Guild doesn't offer them, and you weren't actually giving us an entrance exam, you're saying that we'd need to leave and take those classes first before coming back and joining again as apprentices?" she hazarded a guess. But then she scrunched her nose in confusion once more. "But, wait, you just said that Laura could still stay here as an apprentice, even if she wasn't sure she wanted to be an explorer when she grew up. So how would that…?"

"Well, yes, that's where the Time Gear complicates things." Chatot explained. "Normally, that would be exactly the case—considering the way you described those lessons from the Torterra Guild, the skills involved are vital ones for explorers to have, and ones which we for the most part expect our recruits to already have a firm foundation in. That doesn't always happen, admittedly," he trailed off a little, thinking back once more on the Bidoof situation, before he shook his head free of the memories and continued, "but in that case we would expect the recruit to either do a self-study in order to gain those skills, or to ask us or another apprentice for help directly. Considering our focus as a guild, we are not really equipped to handle large numbers of blank-slate apprentices. At the same time, however… it's not exactly safe to send either of you away from the guild, at the moment."

"Huh? Why not?" Paula asked.

But Laura was the one to answer. "Because of the Time Gear, right?" she guessed.

"Exactly right, Laura," Chatot confirmed. "If Uxie was right about the thief already knowing where they're hidden, then if they went to Fogbound Lake and found the Time Gear missing… even though no one in the guild would reveal that we now have custody over it, the fact that we recently went on an expedition to Foggy Forest is well-known. It wouldn't be out of the question for them to assume we had some information on what happened to it. From there, it would be simple for them to find out the identities of the guild members, especially since the entire guild went on the expedition. And if the two of you suddenly left the guild… well, even if that wasn't suspicious enough on its own, it would still be far too much of a risk that the thief could track either of you down and, well…" He shuddered, and the girls shuddered along with him. The implications alone were terrible enough without needing them to be spelled out.

"But… since you don't normally take apprentices as young as we are, wouldn't it also be suspicious if we stayed?" Paula asked.

Chatot shook his head. "It shouldn't be. It's a bit unusual yes, but… well, considering how adept the two of you are already at exploring, I believe it is safe to say that you could be considered prodigies. Considering that our esteemed Guildmaster is also a prodigy, it makes a certain amount of sense that he would be interested and accepting of teaching others like himself."

The girls blushed at the praise, but Chatot took no notice as he continued, his tone more businesslike, "That being said, there will have to be a few changes in your schedules. As good as you two are, we cannot, in good conscience, keep sending you out for missions until we are assured that you have the basics down. Honestly, I'm not sure why I didn't notice sooner that there were areas where the two of you were sorely lacking in your educations. The Apple Woods fiasco, for one, should have been a major tip-off! So, we will have to make sure that the two of you are properly educated, so that you can become top-notch explorers! Of course, assuming that's what the two of you still want to do in the future. We've discussed your feelings on the matter already, Laura, but the same applies to you as well, Paula! If at any point you change your mind, we will make sure that you are safely settled somewhere else, or back at your home—after the current crisis is resolved, of course. And in either case, Laura, we will do our best to help you figure out your past—after all, there is a chance that Uxie's theories are incorrect, and even if they aren't, you still shouldn't have to wait years to find that out if there's any chance we could find the answers in the meantime."

Paula, who had bristled at the Apple Woods comment, calmed down by the end of Chatot's speech. She didn't believe that she would ever want to be anything other than an explorer, but… it was still nice to know he was at least giving her the option. "Thank you, Chatot," she said, her partner nodding in agreement.

Wigglytuff suddenly clapped his hands, startling everyone in the room. "It's so great that we've got that settled now!" he exclaimed once he had everyone's attention. "But now we really should take care of the Time Gear. Laura, if you could bring it over here?"

The Grass-type still seemed a bit reluctant to part with the precious artifact, but she did ultimately nod in assent and take it out of the bag, heading over towards Wigglytuff. He took it from her, and then moved over to one of the many treasure chests in the room. "We'll make some more formal plans later, but it wouldn't hurt to start teaching you a bit now. Let's start with a lesson on finding treasure," he said as he opened the chest and then started sifting through some of the treasures inside.

"Now, the best way to find treasure is to first know how to hide it. A lot of times when you see something like a chest or a map, there will be secret tests or traps involved. Like maybe the map will be coated in a false layer with incorrect directions, or there will be a bunch of different fake traps in a room, or the room will have a solution which seems really obvious but is actually a cover for a different sort of trap. I came across lots of those when I was just starting out! Actually, it might be good for you to hear that story—there's a lot in it that we can apply to now. Hm… where to start…? I guess the best place should be on that peaceful prairie, back when I was still just Igglybuff…"

#pokemon mystery dungeon #explorers of sky #what if...?#hidden in plain sight #writing #fanfiction #procrastination at its finest

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sickandtideeeee · 5 years ago

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Rise with Me - Chapter 1???

A/N: I came up with a title!!! I’m also post a night shift!! Maybe I’ll write installments or I’ll write blurbs. A little different from By Bast since it’s more OCs and less fanfic. Tell me what you think!

Approximately 746 years ago, without warning, it was proclaimed in the stars that the Heavenly Empire to the East had lost its sole male heir.

The official story was as simple as it was tragic: the youthful prince had contracted a grave illness during one of his many expeditions through the uncharted lands between the main dominions. A truly terrible affliction, the curse had slowly eaten through his internal essence over decades, making his corporeal form increasingly unstable until he was entirely consumed and faded into the wind.

A short mourning period of 10 years was instituted and thereafter, to merely utter the name of the perished would-be King was a crime punishable by death. And this execution would not be a short-lived mortal death, but the shredding of your soul into thousands of pieces, each sliver doomed to try desperately to reunite over the millenia to come.

Despite the intensity of this punishment, there were many rumors outside the lands that could not be quashed. They essentially boiled down to the following:

The prince had been poisoned not by a celestial beast but by a woman.

The prince could only been subjected to such an attack because he had been actively seduced by her.

The woman he was so enamored with was a foreigner.

The last point was the greatest scandal for two reasons: not only was she a foreigner, she was rumored to hail from the Southern chiefdoms, which almost certainly meant she was a political spy sent to destabilize the Eastern realm.

These rumors were both surprisingly close and alarmingly far from the truth.

Unfortunately, this version of events was what the Golden Emperor, the prince’s cherished father, decided to believe.

The only caveat was that his son was very much alive.

However, this did not matter so long as the Emperor had decided that as he was, his favored son Jin was now a liability to the throne and dead to him.

To further the dismay of the rest of the royal family and the empyrean palace, the crown prince had long since returned the sentiment and absconded from Heaven without a word.

—

Jin…

Yes, my love?

Do you think we can be like this, together, forever?

Why wouldn’t we?

Our love is… a little bit strange, don’t you think?

Maybe, but we’ve always been a little bit strange.

She is satisfied by this answer and she snuggles into the crook of my neck and I kiss the top of her forehead. She smells earthy and sweet as though she too sprouted from the meadow we lay in, as if she’s one of the many wildflowers that dot this landscape. The sun’s rays are soft and gentle and we drink deeply of each other. I wrap my arms around her and she smiles and rolls over so that she is on top of me. She pecks at my face playfully, and I am entranced by her smiling face.

Then, a harsh wind picks up and like dandelion fuzz, her form disperses into the air. I wake up with a start.

——

“Mimi? Mimi!” Jin’s voice called out. Then his eyes opened to partial darkness and cold, damp sheets. Moonlight streamed in rays into the room and he realized it was still nighttime.

He turned over several times in his oversized bed to squint at his digital alarm clock. A few minutes past 3. Fantastic.

His head throbbed as he sat up. These headaches were getting all too frequent, he thought, rubbing the sides of his temples. He’d get his agent to buy a humidifier… or maybe some essential oils. Whatever would work. He’d let Annie figure it out later in the day. There was a busy schedule ahead and he was not going to even entertain the wish of getting any more sleep.

For the young immortal who went by the alias Lin Xiao Jin, stylized as ‘jin’ professionally (always in lowercase for flair), this lifetime had already proven to be his most challenging one yet. While Jin had played the role of feudal lords, military generals, and mortal emperors, this time he had wanted a change, and decided to try his hand at a life with a different type of power. The power of fame and celebrity.

It was truly taxing, and this week in particular his schedule had been almost impossible to manage. Sometimes he considered disappearing in a freak accident and becoming a ‘gone too soon’ story, forever immortalizing himself in the course of human history and starting anew as a chaebol kid. But he had to admit, he liked this model/singer/actor triple threat he had going on. The constant attention and adoration was nice, and the steady stream of women who came in and out of his lavish high-rise was nicer. He wasn’t exactly being worshipped as a god, but it was pretty damn close.

Jin, for once, was less worried about how he was going to fit in hours of filming, two meet and greets and a bulking session with a physical trainer into the mere 24 hours a day. Instead, he relaxed his tense muscles and closed his eyes, focusing on tracing the pearl of energy he had parted with several hours earlier.

Moments passed… and nothing. He sighed, letting his body fall back into his messy bed in defeat. He hated the feeling of powerlessness he had in this muted mortal body, and no amount of physical fitness would change that. She was probably too far now to sense. His heart ached to reunite with her, but he had to bide his time. If there was something he always had more of, it was time.

He rolled over to the side and picked up his phone laying on the countertop. 12 missed messages from three hours ago, 6 of them from the same person.

He didn’t bother to open the messages from his not-quite-girlfriend Faye, knowing she’d probably already seen the tabloids, as well as the other girls he was casually dating. Instead of explaining himself, he deleted all her recent messages, gave it a moment of thought, and then proceeded to delete her number too.

——

For the first time in her life, Mya dreamt about a man she had just met.

She sprang up in bed with her heart racing and face warm with shame as the X-rated images ran through her mind like a fast forwarded cassette. She threw off her covers and held her face in her hands.

When did I become so thirsty?!!!

Her whole body burned with embarrassment. She had a boyfriend! Okay, she had to admit calling boyfriend was a stretch. Rather, she had a longstanding crush on a family friend who had finally acknowledged her enough to go on a couple dates.

No matter what her situation was, she could NOT be dreaming about strangers. Even if they were hot and apparently really damn famous.

Speaking of fame, what was she supposed to do now in a foreign country, now that she essentially lost all anonymity and benefits thereof? What is the etiquette in a situation like this?

Not only she had decided to order in and barricade herself in her room for safety to come up with a plan, she had also decided to avoid the internet lest she find unflattering pictures of herself on Baidu or worse. However, now that it was early morning and she was feeling brave, she pulled out her laptop, took a deep breath and opened it up. She placed her fingers on the keys, then froze.

What was she looking for exactly? She did not even know this man’s name. And no one knew her name. What would she even search up?

Instead, she turned on her vpn to access Facebook and sent a short message to her friend.

Just letting you know I’m alive lol… something weird happened, i’ll call you a little later to give you deets, it’s still super early here.

She then went through her feed and when she got bored of that, looked up her not-quite-man on Instagram. Christian still hadn’t posted any pictures from their dates, nothing to suggest they were together. This nagged at her a bit but she sighed and turned off her computer. She had enough to worry about in the morning, no need to get anxious about anyone overnight. He was just a man, after all.

She turned over and went back to sleep.

#rise with me #original work #immortals #star-crossed lovers #xianxia with african flavor #fantasy #ambw #supernatural #inspired by ashes of love

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imaginesnkdorks · 5 years ago

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Thank Goodness for Crazy

Part IX: To Infinity and Beyond | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 |

Pairing: Erwin/Reader

Summary: That time Erwin got jealous, and the first time our hero went on an expedition beyond the walls

The trip back was entertaining – at least for me. Theo filled me in on how life was within the walls. Turned out this world within the wall is a little like how I imagined North Korea to be. Of course, most of these people can’t tell, but I have the feeling that the history they are being taught from childhood is fabricated.

There are just too many holes that it doesn’t answer, mainly the origin of titans. Theo is one of those who just either naively believe or just couldn’t give a damn.

Oh, I am totally thankful that Theo is talkative – he didn’t ask me many questions about my life.

The moment we got back, we are off to training. Since Theodore is simply clueless about our craft, they have to train him on the most basic of things, even though he is supposedly a “Squad Leader”. But we all know it’s just a title. I mean, first off he bought it, second there are only four squad leaders and he’s an extra, lastly, there isn’t even a squad for him to lead. It doesn’t seem like he minds, though.

“Erwin!” I called out while running towards him. Honestly, I haven’t seen him since we left the party.

“Andi. I see that shadow of a man isn’t clinging on to you today.”

“Shadow? What, you mean Theo?”

“Theo? I didn’t know you two were that close.” He said in a tone so cold. What the hell? Seeing as he’s in such a bad mood – must be the stress of the coming expedition – I decided to just ask him my question and get this over with.

“Well, we are. Anyways are we still on for training? You promised you’ll teach me how to use the blades, and how to maintain the gear.”

He smiled, though I can’t exactly tell why but for sure it wasn’t a smile out of happiness. Before he could say anything, though Theo appeared.

“Andi! I’ve been looking all over for you. Come and have breakfast with me.” He said as he sashayed over to me and Erwin. “Oh, Erwin, was it?”

“Yes, Lord Van Rumpade.” Erwin said bitterly, the smile swiped off his face.

“Oh, no need to be so formal. We’re fellow squad leaders.” I guess it wasn’t only me who found this funny as I saw Erwin sneak an eye roll at that, but Theo wasn’t finished yet. “Join us for breakfast?” He said in his charming way, dazzling us with his unbelievably white teeth in a world with no whitening strips and high-tech dental stuff.

“I’m afraid I can’t. There are still preparations I have to see through.” And then he just turned away and left me with Richie rich. I guess that’s a no for our training. Even though I know I would mostly just whine all day while we train, I can’t help but feel disappointed.

The following days, I was taught how to handle blades and to maintain a 3DM gear. Also, I started learning more about titans. Who else could teach me well other than Hange? I tuned out so much of her long speeches before that I have to suffer through them again, only this time I should really pay attention.

In a month, I am a professional at both combat and 3DM gear. I now know by heart where to slice a titan, I know very well how to ride a horse and I also learned first aid. It was depressing, though, their first aid. Turns out a lot of injuries and diseases which are treatable back home, are deadly here.

It’s unbelievable how fast my progress was. I’d say, I have a knack for violence.

With the expedition only a few weeks away, I am putting double effort in everything that I do in hopes of Erwin giving me the go signal.

Speaking of Erwin, even though we live right next to each other, I barely saw him. It’s because he’s always at meetings. I, on the other hand, am always training, or with Theo who won’t leave me alone. I admit I was stunned when I first saw him. The infatuation eventually wore off after seeing how much of a baby he is. But I still can’t tell him to leave me alone, I mean he paid us so he could stay, also I think it’s kind of my fault that he chose us.

“Andi. Where’s Theodore? Not clinging on to you today?”

What the hell? I felt my forehead knot in frustration the moment Erwin finished. Seriously, every time I run into him, he’s always like this and then he’ll be gone before I could even respond.

But the expedition is more important, so despite my irritation, I decided to just roll my eyes and ignore his questions. And I grabbed his arm before he could run away to who knows where.

“I want to join the expedition.”

“You just started training two months ago.”

“Ugh! Is that a yes, or a no?”

“You’re not yet ready.”

“I’m better than a number of soldiers already!”

“You haven’t beaten me once every time we spar. If you can’t handle me, a Titan is too much.”

“Last time we sparred, I’ve only been training for a month. It’s different now.”

“Oh, really?”

I hate this. I hate it when people doubt me. In my irritation, my idiot side took control of my mouth.

“If I’m not ready, then I’ll die. It doesn’t matter. I want to go.” See? When I say idiot, I really mean it.

Erwin gave me a glare that could probably kill me, but I stood my ground. I won’t falter. This is the adventure that I’ve been waiting for! I stared back at him as intensely as I could. It honestly became a staring contest.

“Alright. But you won’t leave my side. Understand?”

Yes, sir!” I said, letting go of his arm. I then pounded my chest with my right hand – as best as I could as I am fairly big chested – and gave my very first salute.

-------

You’ll know it if it’s the day of an expedition, or better yet you’ll feel it in the air. A sense of dread hangs in the air, and it’s really depressing. Almost every soldier is silent, although some are abuzz with nervous energy. Even though I’m quite confident, their attitude is very infectious. Soon enough, anxiety crept in into my system.

I can’t help but be amazed by Theodore’s confidence. He’s the only one who seems to be excited. But it’s probably because he doesn’t know what to expect.

We soon arrived at Shiganshina where the outermost gate is located. Well, technically there are three other gates that go out the wall, but they just seem to like using this one that’s leading towards the south.

I’m on my horse, Max, and right beside me is Erwin. I plan on fulfilling my promise about sticking to him, I feel like I’ll be safer that way.

I’ve been staring blankly ahead, at the sea of green capes and wings of freedom crest. The gates take a long time to open. Uncle Keith chose this to give a pep talk, which I could hardly hear over the murmurs of bystanders and soldiers alike.

“Nervous?” Erwin asked, raising a thick eyebrow.

“No.” He smiled at that, but in a way that shows that he doesn’t believe me. Well, I admit I was lying. I am nervous, who wouldn’t? Even though I literally asked for this, I can’t help but be anxious – it’s like riding a roller coaster.

When the gate finally opened, uncle Keith gave the go signal and we all valiantly rode our horses. I sang FOB’s Centuries in my head, making me feel like I’m some kind of hero with a theme. But then I realized that it’s not really making me feel good, especially the line some turn to dust. I definitely don’t want that.

I kind of expected that there would be titans right outside, waiting for us. But it took a couple of minutes before we encountered the first one. The team at the rear promptly dispatched it.

I hoped that this is how my first expedition would be: a few titans roaming, and some that we run into are instantly killed, we then prance around on our horses the end. But no, that’s not how it is over here.

Not even ten feet from the first titan, two more appeared. And two out of the five soldiers that attacked were eaten. After that, we encountered more and more soldiers got eaten in their attempt to kill the damn giants.

“Why do we approach them head-on?” I yelled at Erwin. The goal of this mission is lost to me because with what’s happening, I can say that our mission is to die for humanity period. Nothing gained, we just die. I mean, puny little humans like us attack big ass titans on sight.

Instead of answering, Erwin just clicked his tongue and commanded us to ride in a closer pack. I now understand more why in movies and tv shows, the high-ranking officers are always old people. Those of position just yell out the command, while the nobodies jump to their deaths.

Was I a very unlucky nobody.

“Two Titans approaching from the rear!” Pieter yelled.

“One is a six-meter titan, the other a twelve-meter!” Supplemented Esme. Now, the announcement of titan’s presence isn’t creepy itself, what scared me was that these two soldiers are right behind me. I turned to look at Erwin, who was unbelievably calm while giving orders.

“Ready your blades.”

One thing you must know; this squad of Erwin’s is a bunch of veterans. Also, there are four team leaders under him, one of them is Hange. Since Hange is a team leader, even though she’s directly under Erwin, she’s in a different part of the convoy.

Anyhow, I followed his orders and readied my blade. Since we are nearest these titans, it’s our goal to finish them off now.

Honestly, this moment was a blur. I don’t know, it must be the adrenaline. But my fuzzy memories tell me that I helped in eliminating the titans, though one of us got his leg bitten off. Being the newbie, I was assigned to treat Damien. While the others were finishing off the last titan, I tended to the injured soldier.

His thigh was ripped in half as there’s where the titan bit him. I felt queasy, but I tried to do my job. Tried is the keyword because my asshole teammates just happened to land the killing blow on the 12-meter titan whose torso fucking landed on Damien, and almost on me.

I’d like to save you from the gory details, but next time you eat spaghetti with meatballs, crush the meatballs. That’s what I saw. I’d say being eaten by a titan isn’t the worst way to die.

“Andi! Andi, get yourself together!” Erwin was shaking me. I guess this is something that would scare me for life.

Next thing I know is I’m back on my horse going towards where ever the commander tells us to.

Setting camp for the night, everyone who wasn’t injured or dead are busy salvaging any bodies that could still be taken home while some were like me who are treating the injured. There are a lot of missing and crushed limbs. Turns out having a titan fall on you is a common way to die or be injured.

It was almost sunset by the time I finished up. I walked and ended up where uncle Keith is.

He has a map with him, on which he is jotting down notes. I sat down beside him, feeling exhausted all of the sudden.

“What’s our goal, really?” I asked in a silent whisper.

I looked around, and in between clusters of bandaged soldiers are bodies on the grounds waiting to be loaded on wagons. Even the horses looked fewer.

“You already know it.” He answered, not even bothering to look up.

“Secure bases for advancement beyond the walls. But why aren’t we doing it?”

That has got his attention because he focused on me with too much intensity I almost regret being born. “We aren’t doing it? Do you think these soldiers died for nothing? For a silly quest?” I was almost too tempted to tell him to chill, but I’m just too tired both physically and mentally.

“We could run from titans and not attack them head-on. That’s what people have been doing for the last century.” I thought back to how I played video games – like pokemon. I always avoid the trainers; I walk behind them or when they are not looking. I guess that could be done by us and it will save a lot of lives and reach our goal at the same time.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Erwin.”

And our conversation was over.

The rest of the expedition was a haze. I killed a few titans, though I wasn’t able to celebrate my first kill. It’s like I operated on instincts; my mind was blank and I kept jumping and slicing. It was almost robotic. I know it’s bad, but I think my autopilot tried to be the hero. I pulled people from titan’s mouths, I pulled some who are about to be crushed. I am honestly surprised I survived.

By the time we are to go back inside the walls, our numbers are almost cut in half.

The trip home was also ridden with more casualties. We soon reached Shiganshina and there wasn’t any Hero’s Welcome. We were hackled and mocked. But I’m too tired to feel anything about it.

The moment we got back to HQ, I went straight to my room after leaving Max in the stables. No tears came though. I was just sitting on my bed staring at the bare floor. Then someone bust in my room.

“Erwin.”

“How are you holding up?”

That was when tears started flowing down. I couldn't stop. I was shaking and sobbing. Then I felt his arms around me, trying to console me. You know what's sad? It's not just seeing people die or get eaten. It's not death itself. I'm used to death, people die all the time. The news back home was full of it.

The difference this time is that these people who died are not just numbers on a statistics report. They are my colleagues - people that I actually know. They are names and faces to me, not just numbers. Erwin didn't say anything. He didn't tell me that it will be okay. He' not giving me empty promises. Honestly, this hug alone is enough.

“I should have turned back. I could've saved some people. I ...”

He suddenly broke the hug and held me at arm's length, looking at me straight in the eye.

“Stop. Don't blame yourself. If you start regretting your decision, you will start to doubt yourself. You'll let others decide for you, so stop. None of it is your fault.”

He said, concern evident in his eyes. I know he's right, of course, he is. And it would be wise for me to follow his advice. Too bad I'm such a baby, though.

“Ok.”

I lied. Because I know who I’ll be dreaming of tonight If I ever get sleep. Guilt is still eating at me.

He stayed with me that night until I stopped crying, which is apparently when I fell asleep.

#thank goodness for crazy #Erwin Smith #Erwin #commander erwin #snk erwin #erwin x reader #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x you #reader insert #commander handsome #anime x reader #attack on titan x reader #mod max

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sageaardvark · 6 years ago

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I’ve been seeing the “You Should Date a Girl Who Reads” essay by Rosemarie Urquico around here and liked it, so I searched it up. It’s actually a response to another essay by Charles Warnke (also pasted below), which I read and love even more. It’s less fluff and more angst and the first paragraph slays me, but essentially both of these writings are about words—what we do with them, what they do with us, how the stories they form can build or destroy us.

“You Should Date an Illiterate Girl” by Charles Warnke

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.

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introverted-thoughts · 6 years ago

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You Should Date an Illiterate Girl

A girl who reads is priceless. <3 #ShioriShiomiya :)

You Should Date An Illiterate Girl

By Charles Warnke

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midwesternorcprincess · 7 years ago

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now that i’m back and... halfway recovered, let me tell you the woes that befell me once i got home from school. it’s a long tale and a bad one.

DAY ONE

day after i got home, we drove up to Chicago to take my sister to the airport. she’s been going the last two summers to England to see her boyfriend, right. drive over there was hell. family relations were... strained. but we got her on the flight finally and i was looking forward to having a break. mom and dad i drove through La Grange, where we used to live, to get food. ran into our old neighbors and talked a couple hours, had a great time. i said to myself, that was a good thing to have happened. it’s good for my parents to remember who they were, once.

leaving Chicago, out on the highway. the car starts making this horrible knocking sound right the fuck out of nowhere and makes signs that it’s not going to drive any farther. dad pulls over. opens the hood. can’t tell what’s wrong, but there’s no way it’s starting up again. we’re stuck there, in the black of night, in a crappy area.

we call every towing company we can find. none - NONE - will look at us on a Saturday night. call again on Monday, they tell us. we call the old neighbors. they don’t pick up. as a last resort we call the police. they tell us they’ll help. two hours pass, nothing. thousands and thousands of cars race by, police, tow trucks. our hazards are on and the hood is up. no one stops. here in Indiana, someone would have stopped long ago.

we call a hotel. they give us another towing number, but they say their driver is busy so they’ll have to get back to us.

a state policeman finally comes. gives us yet another number who will tow us. gonna be 200-something. we don’t have that much money. first towing number calls back. they’ll come for us, but only have room for one of us. policeman says he can take two of us to the hotel, so mom and i go and leave dad with the car.

mom and i get to the hotel. course, we don’t have enough money to stay there. my aunt gives us her credit card number and info and calls and everything, but they won’t take that cause she’s not there personally. they do take that online, though. we book through Expedia and they charge us up a lot, but at least we have a room for the night.

few hours later dad gets there. the battery had finally died and the hazard lights shut off. how the tow truck found him without crashing into him i don’t know. now what? that’s a problem for tomorrow.

DAY TWO

six in the morning, i get a message from my sister. she’s been denied entry to the UK and is being sent back to Chicago. gotta pick her up tonight. what the FUCK

call around about the car. no one would lift a finger on Saturday, sure as hell not gonna do it on Sunday. there’s a Hyundai dealer (we have a Sonata) nearby. they tell us they’ll look at it Tuesday.

mom and dad call the neighbors again. they offer to drive dad to the airport so he can get my sister. it was lucky that we’d run into them.

my sister returns that night and we hear her tale of woe. she had flown into Dublin. you can go through customs there and then straight on to London, because Ireland and the UK are bros or whatever. she had done this before and found the officials in Ireland much nicer to deal with than the ones in the UK, as she told her boyfriend’s mom in a message. but this time - oh, this makes me madder than fire - this asshole official accused her of trying to come to the UK to work illegally. which she absolutely had no inkling of doing. he took her phone and looked through her messages and everything and found the one to her boyfriend’s mom and said, HA! see, here you are trying to sneak in. well, that was just not what she was doing at all. she likes nicer officials because she’s human and humans like nice people.

of course she’s getting very anxious trying to explain all this - she’s only 18 after all, and this came right the fuck out of nowhere - and this official. he SAID TO HER: “you’re nervous because you’re lying and you’re guilty.” then he said, “I’ll give you one last chance to tell the truth, if you want entry to the UK.” well, my sister had been telling the truth the whole time. what did he want her to do? lie? well, she wasn’t going to do it. she told the truth again, which is more than this official had been doing - lying and twisting everything around, trying to get a guilty plea out of this kid for something she wasn’t even doing. anyway like i said, she told the truth again, and was finally denied. i would have thought she could talk to an embassy or something, but he told her the decision was final and she couldn’t talk to anyone - maybe that was a lie too, but who knows. she certainly was in no position to try. can can never go back to Ireland now, unless she gets a visa approved from the UK..

they put her in some tiny room to wait, and she started crying then, now that she was alone. asshole official comes back and tells her to stop crying. if there was a hell, this man would be burning in it.

so they sent her right back to Chicago. she was lucky, though, compared to some other young girls she met there who were also turned away. one girl was from Toronto, and there were no flights back that day. they threw her in jail until the next flight.

they told her they were sending her luggage back separately. probably they had to search through it and find something they could use against her. of course they found nothing, because there was nothing, because everything she had done was legal and right. but anyway they gave a piece of paper with a tracking number and a phone number to call about it.

where is mom’s insulin?

DAY THREE

we’re getting really fed up with all this. it’s really too much. and you may be wondering what’s become of our dog and cat and newborn kittens at home. mom and dad grill Hyundai and they agree to look at the car a day early.

no one back home has a key to the house, so we have my aunt break in to feed the pets. while she’s there, the cat gets out and disappears.

Hyundai calls back. turns out our car had a recall because people’s engines were failing. actually there were several recalls on it, but ours was the engine. hell of a time to fail on us. so they’re ordering a new engine. ten to fourteen days, they tell us.

ten to fourteen days! now you listen here -

- the cat came back -

- we can’t stay here ten to fourteen days. we’re five hours from home. have animals. we have an insulin-dependent diabetic. we have no money. we have no change of clothes. we have no relatives with a car capable of making a trip to Chicago. what are we supposed to do for ten to fourteen days? our family can’t even support us that long. not my problem, says Hyundai.

mom calls like, Hyundai central, not this particular dealership, customer service or whatever. they tell us we’re entitled to a loaner car from Hyundai, since this whole situation was their fault and all. armed with this information, mom calls the dealer back. but they won’t give us a car because we’re from out of state.

we call around every rental car place we can find, but no luck there either, because of the credit card issue.

still got that luggage to worry about. we call the number on the paper and describe the bags to them, and they call back a little later and say they’ve found it and will keep it in a safe place. we don’t have a way to get to the airport, though.

mom’s insulin is nowhere to be found - i swear to god, she can’t go one day without losing something important, it’s probably out on the side of the highway somehow - and even if it was, she’d be out by now. this was supposed to be a day trip. we don’t have the cash to buy any. no one will take our credit card. she has to call the ambulance and go to the hospital. turns out her blood sugar is over 800 - death level and i think a record for her - so she’s in the ICU for a while.

guess what? the hotel’s booked for the night. so’s the one next door. so is everyone in walking distance. where can we go now?

we find another hotel that will take my aunt’s credit card once she fills out a form and faxes it to them, and use our rapidly dwindling cash to call a cab there. the guy drives us to the wrong place and then accuses my dad of giving him the wrong address. he didn’t, but no one has the will to fight a cab driver. so we get to the hotel after being cheated and charged extra.

we call the airport to see if they can send us my sister’s luggage. they tell us the luggage is lost.

my aunt wires us some cash. we go up to our room and turn on the TV. on the news, a car has just crashed into the Western Union. i’m officially losin my goddamn mind

meanwhile, the only way we can get food is to order through online sites like Grubhub. cause of the credit card issue. so we’re not starving, at least.

guess what! new month, phone’s shutting off. this would have been a death sentence if my aunt hadn’t paid that for us too.

DAY FOUR

Hyundai calls. they expedited our request to not die out here, i guess, so they tell us the engine will be in tomorrow now.

cause i’m so paranoid for disaster - gotta be, with my life - i actually do bring my medicine everywhere. but even i gotta run out sometime, and that’s today. my dad says we already got three crazy people without their meds, we can’t lose the last sane one. he calls around and finds the nearest pharmacy is in the Target a mile away. he walks there and talks them into taking my prescription. since i have the Indiana healthcare plan and we’re in Illinois, they make us pay for it, though. he only has cash enough for two pills. it’s just an antidepressant, but i get BAD withdrawal if i miss more than a day. shaking and hallucinating, that kind of thing. but i get to keep my mind now for a few more days.

my sister starts her period. i would be so fucking pissed. really, uterus???

we call about the luggage again. they tell us it’s still lost. we suspect they’re just looking at the tracing number on the computer - which we can easily check ourselves - and not bothering to get up and look. we try to tell them this and about how they called us back the other day and told us they found it, but we keep getting people that barely speak English and either don’t understand us or are pretending and just don’t want to deal with it.

we try to talk to mom, but she barely answers her phone, and when she does there’s always some nurse or doctor or someone in there bothering her - i swear to god, i think they kill people by not giving them a moment’s peace - and if she does call back she’s kinda loopy. blood sugar will do that to you, but it’s very disheartening.

DAY FIVE

my aunt tells us she’s wired the cash to the nearest Western Union, which luckily is in the Walgreens a mile away and not the one the car drove into. dad walks all the way there - i would do this if i could, he’s really too old and not in great shape to be walking this far, but all this shit is under his name - and guess what they tell him? they need some obscure number no one bothered to tell us about. he calls my aunt, but she’s at an appointment an hour from home and doesn’t have the number. she calls her bank, but they won’t give it to her. so dad has to walk all the way back empty-handed and try again later.

the airport continues to be completely useless about finding the luggage.

my sister slips in the bathroom and hurts her ankle.

my aunt gets back home, sends my dad the number, he walks back to Walgreens and returns with the cash. i guess it could have been worse. this could have happened in July and not May. if it happens again when I go to Norway, it’ll be in July.

it’s dinner time and whoops, the card suddenly doesn’t work. we call my aunt. she calls the bank, the bank says the card is fine and good to go. it still doesn’t work.

closest food is Denny’s. we’re lucky to have enough cash now. it’s a pleasant enough walk at night in May except it’s over this really rough scrubland. dad and i manage well enough but my sister has a rough time of it with her ankle. and also her open-toed-shoes. you know, that she’d worn on the plane. you know, cause she wasn’t expecting to be falsely accused of a crime, sent back, and had her luggage lost. anyway she gets a thorn in her foot.

the car isn’t fixed, but i hadn’t expected it to be. i know better than to hope.

dad gets really sick at about 2 am. he hasn’t had his medicines for days and it’s really fuckin him up. also he’s kinda havin a nervous breakdown. we know it’s a panic attack, but there’s no telling that to the body. we’re on the verge of another ambulance bill.

i call my aunt. she’s at a loss. she calls my cousin. cousin thinks fast and adds us on a family Uber account. saves our asses. none of us has ever taken an Uber before, but dad takes an Uber to the hospital and later confirms that it is a much better experience than taking a cab

so now i’m on my own. well, with my sister, but the task of adulthood falls to me. and we’re here with not much cash, a credit card that doesn’t work, and no idea where we’re going to go now.

DAY SIX

dad calls in the morning. he’s fine and back with my mom, but she’s been yelling at him all day. never heard her be so mean before.

airport tells us the same bullshit about the luggage being lost. there’s really irreplaceable shit in there. her best clothes. all her makeup. teddy bear that she got when she and her boyfriend first met. stuff from her birth father, who’s dead now. but anyway they can’t be bothered to check on it.

Hyundai says our car will be ready in the afternoon. hotel will be kicking us out soon. we pack all our shit - which is actually not too much since we came with pretty much the shirts on our backs - and take an Uber to the hospital. can also confirm that Uber is totally fine. don’t fear to use it if you have need.

things are tense, but at least dad’s cousin calls. he lives like an hour away and has heard of our plight and offers what help he can. he comes and takes my dad and my sister to the airport to deal with the luggage issue in person. it is, in fact, not lost, but in the safe place. like they told us the first day. so they got that.

mom is released from the hospital. Hyundai calls and says the car is done. dad’s cousin comes and gets us, we all cram into his tiny ass car, and he takes us to the dealership. he’s a Mensch.

they give us the damn car, all the recalled parts replaced, and we finally get the fuck out of there.

I’m really... not quite ok after this experience. it was financially ruinous. Hyundai will pay us back a hundred bucks a day, which is maybe half the cost if we’re being generous. it cost our relationships - i get along with everyone, but the three of them are still not ok with each other and i don’t know if they will be. it cost my parents’ health. i don’t think i realized before just... how much they’re not able to do what they once were able to.

i’m just feeling a total lack of hope. it seems like i can’t come home without some disaster or other happening, but this string of just everything possible going wrong - i don’t know how i’ll survive another one. i’m trying to relax now that i’m home, but i’m dreading every day that comes for me because i feel like it’s inevitable. i feel secondhand trauma from just hearing about how my sister was treated in Ireland. i’m terrified now about going to Norway and can barely stomach the thought just now.

our family saved our asses, but it’s not like they’re gonna be around forever. if you’re in that situation and don’t have some relative with enough money to bail you out, you are completely and utterly alone. there is no help for you. i don’t know where we would have gone, if we would just have died there on the road since we couldn’t afford to be towed. or on the street somewhere if we couldn’t afford the hotel.

you know how they say it’s so expensive to be poor? truer words were never spoke. had we been able to afford our own credit card, we could have rented a car, driven ourselves home, and saved five days and a thousand dollars, plus whatever medical bills we’ll have now.

i’m trying to pick myself up and i hope i’ll still be able to go to Norway, but i’m just so afraid of seeing tomorrow. i wish there was a lesson here besides don’t be poor and don’t drive a car and don’t go out of state and don’t try to go to another country and don’t be sick, but... i don’t know.

i guess i can tell you that the people on the phone at O’Hare are completely fucking useless and you’ll have to deal with them inside if you want anything done. maybe that will save you some pains in the future. don’t hope, though. probably can’t afford it.

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lionwrote · 4 years ago

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To Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens

Preakness, New Jersey, October 11, 1782

Since my return from Hartford, my Dear Laurens, my mind has been too little at ease to permit me to write to you sooner. It has been wholly occupied by the affecting and tragic consequences of Arnold’s treason. My feelings were never put to so severe a trial. You will no doubt have heard the principal facts before this reaches you; but there are particulars, to which my situation gave me access, that cannot have come to your knowlege from public report, which I am persuaded you will find interesting.

From several circumstances, the project seems to have originated with Arnold himself and to have been long premeditated. The first overture is traced back to some time in June last. It was conveyed in a letter to Col. Robinson; the substance of which was, that the ingratitude he had experienced from his country, concurring, with other causes, had intirely changed his principles, that he now only sought to restore himself to the favour of his king, by some signal proof of his repentance, and would be happy to open a correspondence with Sir Henry Clinton for that purpose. About this period he made a journey to Connecticut, on his return from which to Philadelphia, he solicited the command of West Point; alleging that the effects of his wound had disqualified him for the active duties of the field. The sacrifice of this important post was the atonement he intended to make. General Washington hesitated the less to gratify an officer who had rendered such eminent services, as he was convinced the post might be safely trusted to one, who had given so many distinguished specimens of his bravery. In the beginning of August, he joined the army, and renewed his application. The enemy, at this juncture, had embarked the greatest part of their force on an expedition to Rhode Island; and our army was in motion to compel them to relinquish the enterprise or to attack New York in its weakened state. The General offered Arnold the left wing of the army; which he declined on the pretext already mentioned, but not without visible embarrassment. He certainly might have executed the duties of such a temporary command, and it was expected from his enterprising temper, that he would gladly have embraced so splendid an opportunity. But he did not choose to be diverted a moment from his favourite object, probably from an apprehension, that some different disposition might have taken place, which would have excluded him. The extreme solicitude he discovered to get possession of the post, would have led to a suspicion of the treachery, had it been possible from his past conduct to have supposed him capable of it.

The correspondence thus begun was carried on between Arnold and Major André Adjutant General to the British army, in behalf of Sir Henry Clinton,4 under feigned signatures and in a mercantile disguise. In an intercepted letter of Arnold which lately fell into our hands he proposes an interview, “to settle the risks and profits of the copartnership”; and in the same stile of metaphor, intimates an expected augmentation of the garrison, and speaks of it as the means of extending their traffic. It appears by another letter that André was to have met him on the lines, under the sanction of a flag in the character of Mr. John Anderson. But some cause, or other, not known, prevented this interview.

The 20th. of last month Robinson and André went up the River in the Vulture Sloop of War. Robinson sent a flag to Arnold with two letters; one to General Putnam inclosed in another to himself; proposing an interview with Putnam,5 or in his absence, with Arnold, to adjust some private concerns. The one to General Putnam was evidently meant as a cover to the other, in case by accident, the letters should have fallen under the inspection of a third person.

General Washington crossed the river, in his way to Hartford, the day these dispatches arrived. Arnold conceiving he must have heard of the flag, thought it necessary for the sake of appearances, to submit the letters to him and ask his opinion of the propriety of ⟨comply⟩ing with the request. The General with his usual caution, though without the least surmise of the design, dissuaded him from it, and advised him to reply to Robinson, that whatever related to his private affairs, must be of a civil nature, and could only properly be addressed to the civil authority. This reference fortunately deranged the plan and was the first link in the chain of events that led to the detection. The interview could no longer take place, in the form of a flag, but was obliged to be managed in a secret manner.

Arnold employed one Smith6 to go on Board the Vulture the night of the 22d to bring André on shore with a pass for Mr. John Anderson. André came ashore accordingly, and was conducted within a picket of ours to the house of Smith, where Arnold and he remained together in close conference all that night and the day following. At day light in the morning, the commanding officer at Kings ferry, without the privity of Arnold moved a couple of pieces of cannon to a point opposite to where the vulture lay and obliged her to take a more remote station. This event, or some lurking distrust, made the boatmen refuse to convey the two passengers back, and disconcerted Arnold so much, that by one of those strokes of infatuation, which often confound the schemes of men conscious of guilt, he insisted on André’s exchanging his uniform for a disguise, and returning in a mode different from that in which he came. André who had been undesignedly brought within our posts in the first instance remonstrated warmly against this new and dangerous expedient. But Arnold persisting in declaring it impossible for him to return as he came, he at length reluctantly yielded to his direction. Smith furnished the disguise, and in the evening passed Kings ferry with him and proceeded to Crompond where they stopped the remainder of the night (at the instance of a militia officer) to avoid being suspected by him. The next morning they resumed their journey Smith accompanying André a little beyond Pine’s bridge, where he left him. He had reached Tarry town, when he was taken up by three militia men, who rushed out of the woods and seized his horse.

At this critical moment his presence of mind forsook him. Instead of producing his pass which would have extricated him from our parties and could have done him no harm with his own, he asked the militia men, if they were of the upper or lower party, distinctive appellations known among the enemy’s refugee corps. The Militia men replied they were of the lower party; upon which he told them he was a British officer and pressed them not to detain him, as he was upon urgent business. This confession removed all doubt; and it was in vain he afterwards produced his pass. He was instantly forced off to a place of greater security; where after a careful search there were founded concealed in the feet of his stockings several papers of importance delivered to him by Arnold; among these were a plan of the fortifications of West Point, a memorial from the Engineer on the attack and defence of the place, returns of the garrison, cannon and stores, copy of the minutes of a council of war held by General Washington a few Weeks before. The prisoner at first was inadvertently ordered to Arnold; but on recollection, while still on the way, he was countermanded, and sent to old Salem. The papers were inclosed in a letter to General Washington, which having taken a route different from the one he returned by, made a circuit, that afforded leisure for another letter, through an illjudged delicacy written to Arnold with information of Anderson’s capture, to get to him an hour before General Washington’s arrival at his quarters, time enough to elude the fate that awaited him. He went down the river in his barge to the vulture, with such precipitate confusion, that he did not take with him a single paper useful to the enemy. On the first notice of the affair he was persued, but much too late to be overtaken.

Arnold a moment before his setting out, went into Mrs. Arnold’s apartment and informed her that some transactions had just come to light which must for ever banish him from his country. She fell into a swoon, at this declaration; and he left her in it to consult his own safety, ’till the servants alarmed by her cries came to her relief. She remained frantic all day, accusing every one who approached her with an intention to murder her child (an infant in her arms) and exhibiting every other mark of the most genuine and agonising distress. Exhausted by the fatigue and tumult of her spirits, her phrenzy subsided towards evening and she sunk into all the sadness of affliction. It was impossible not to have been touched with her situation; every thing affected in female tears, or in the misfortunes of beauty, every thing pathetic in the wounded tenderness of a wife, or in the apprehensive fondness of a mother, and, ’till I have reason to change the opinion, I will add, every thing amiable in suffering innocence conspired to make her an object of sympathy to all who were present.8 She experienced the most delicate attentions and every friendly office ’till her departure for Philadelphia.

There was some color for imagining it was a part of the plan to betray the General into the hands of the enemy. Arnold was very anxious to ascertain from him the precise day of his return and the enemy’s movements seem to have corresponded to this point. But if it was really the case, it was very injudicious. The success must have depended on surprise, and as the officers at the advanced posts were not in the secret, their measures might have given the alarm, and General Washington taking the command of the post might have rendered the whole scheme abortive. Arnold it is true had so dispersed the garrison as to have made a defence difficult, but not impracticable; and the acquisition of West Point was of such magnitude to the enemy, that it would have been unwise to connect it with any other object however great which might make the obtaining it precarious.

André was without loss of time conducted to the Head Quarters of the army, where he was immediately brought before a board of General Officers, to prevent all possibility of misrepresentation or cavil on the part of the enemy. The Board reported, that he ought to be considered as a spy and according to the laws and usages of nations to suffer death; which was executed two days after.

Never perhaps did any man suffer death with more justice, or deserve it less. The first step he took after his capture was to write a letter to General Washington conceived in terms of dignity without insolence and apology without meanness. The scope of it was to vindicate himself from the imputation of having assumed a mean character for treacherous or interested purposes; asserting that he had been involuntarily an impostor, that contrary to his intentions, which was to meet a person for intelligence on neutral ground, he had been betrayed within our posts and forced into the vile condition of an enemy in disguise, soliciting only that to whatever rigor policy might devote him a decency of treatment might be observed, due to a person who though unfortunate had been guilty of nothing dishonorable. His request was granted in its full extent, for in the whole progress of the affair, he was treated with the most scrupulous delicacy. When brought before the Board of Officers, he met with every mark of indulgence and was required to answer no interrogatory, which could even embarrass his feelings. On his part, while he carefully concealed everything that might involve others, he frankly confessed all the facts relating to himself; and upon his confession without the trouble of examining a witness, the Board made their report. The members of it were not more impressed with the candor and firmness mixed with a becoming sensibility, which he displayed than he was penetrated with their liberality and politeness. He acknowleged the generosity of the behaviour towards him, in every respect, but particularly in this, in the strongest terms of manly gratitude. In a conversation with a Gentleman who visited him after his trial, he said he flattered himself he had never been illiberal; but if there were any remains of prejudice, in his mind, his present experience must obliterate them.

In one of the visits I made to him (and I saw him several times during his confinement) he begged me to be the bearer of a request to the General for permission, to send an open letter to Sir Henry Clinton. “I foresee my fate (said he) and though I pretend not to play the hero, or to be indifferent about life; yet I am reconciled to whatever may happen, conscious that misfortune, not guilt, has brought it upon me. There is only one thing that disturbs my tranquillity—Sir Henry Clinton has been too good to me; he has been lavish of his kindness. I am bound to him by too many obligations and love him too well to bear the thought, that he should reproach himself, or that others should reproach him, on the supposition of my having conceived myself obliged by his instructions to run the risk I did. I would not for the world leave a sting in his mind, that should embitter his future days.” He could scarce finish the sentence, bursting into tears, in spite of his efforts to suppress them; and with difficulty collected himself enough afterwards to add, “I wish to be permitted to assure him, I did not act under this impression, but submitted to a necessity imposed upon me as contrary to my own inclination as to his orders.” His request was readily complied with, and he wrote the letter annexed, and with which I dare say, you will ⟨be as⟩ much pleased as I am both for the dic⟨tion⟩ and sentiment.

There was something singularly interesting in the character and fortunes of André. To an excellent understanding well improved by education and travel, he united a peculiar elegance of mind and manners, and the advantage of a pleasing person. ’Tis said he possessed a pretty taste for the fine arts, and had himself attained some proficiency in poe⟨try,⟩ music and painting. His knowlege appeared without ostentation, and embellished by a diffidence, that rarely accompanies so many talents and accomplishments, which left you to suppose more than appeared. His sentiments were elevated and inspired esteem. they had a softness that conciliated affection. His elocution was handsome; his address easy, polite and insinuating. By his merit he had acquired the unlimited confidence of his general and was making a rapid progress in military rank and reputation. But in the height of his career, flushed with new hope from the execution of a project the most beneficial to his party, that could be devised, he was at once precipitated from the summit of prosperity and saw all the expectations of his ambition blasted and himself ruined.

The character I have given of him is drawn partly from what I saw of him myself and partly from information. I am aware that a man of real merit is never seen in so favourable a light, as through the medium of adversity. The clouds that surround him are shades that set off his good qualities. Misfortune cuts down the little vanities, that in prosperous times served as so many spots in his virtues; and gives a tone of humility that makes his worth more amiable. His spectators who enjoy a happier lot are less prone to detract from it, through envy, and are more disposed by compassion to give him the credit he deserves and perhaps even to magnify it.

I speak not of André’s conduct in this affair as a Philosophe, but as a man of the world. The authorised maxims and practices of war are the satire of human nature. They countenance almost every species of seduction as well as violence; and the General that can make most traitors in the army of his adversary is frequently most applauded. On this scale we acquit André, while we could not but condemn him, if we were to examine his conduct by the sober rules of philosophy and moral rectitude. It is however a blemish in his fame, that he once intended to prostitute a flag; about this a man of nice honor ought to have had a scruple, but the temptation was great; let his misfortunes cast a veil over his error.

When his sentence was announced to him, he remarked, that since it was his lot to die there was still a choice in the mode which would make a material difference to his feelings, and he would be happy, if possible, to be indulged with a professional death. He made a second application by letter12 in concise, but persuasive terms. It was thought this indulgence being incompatible with the customs of war could not be granted and it was therefore determined in both cases to evade an answer to spare him the sensations, which a certain knowlege of the intended mode would inflict.

In going to the place of execution, he bowed familiarly as he went along to all those with whom he had been acquainted in his confinement. A smile of complacency expressed the serene fortitude of his mind. Arrived at the fatal spot, he asked with some emotion, must I then die in this manner? He was told it had been unavoidable. “I am reconciled to my fate (said he) but not to the mode.” Soon however recollecting himself, he added, “it will be but a momentary pang,” and springing upon the cart performed the last offices to himself with a composure that excited the admiration and melted the hearts of the beholders. Upon being told the final moment was at hand, and asked if he had any thing to say, he answered: “nothing, but to request you will witness to the world, that I die like a brave man.” Among the extra ordinary circumstances that attended him, in the midst of his enemies, he died universally esteemed and universally regretted.

Several letters from Sir Henry Clinton and others were received in the course of the affair, feebly attempting to prove, that André came out under the protection of a flag, with a passport from a general officer in actual service, and consequently could not be justly detained. Clinton sent a deputation composed of Lt General Robinson, Mr. Elliot and Mr. William Smith15 to represent as he said the true state of Major André’s case. General Greene met Robinson & had a conversation with him, in which he reiterated the pretence of a flag, urged André’s release as a personal favour to Sir Henry Clinton, and offered any friend of ours in their power in exchange. Nothing could have been more frivolous than the plea which was used. The fact was that besides the time, manner, object of the interview, change of dress, and other circumstances, there was not a single formality customary with flaggs and the passport was not to Major André, but to Mr. Anderson. But had there been, on the contrary, all the formalities, it would be an abuse of language to say, that the sanction of a flag for corrupting an officer to betray his trust ought to be respected. So unjustifiable a purpose would not only destroy its validity but make it an aggravation.

André himself has answered the argument by ridiculing and exploding the idea in his examination before the board of officers. It was a weakness to urge it.

There was in truth no way of saving him. Arnold or he must have been the victim; the former was out of our power.

It was by some suspected, Arnold had taken his measures in such a manner, that if the interview had been discovered in the act it might have been in his power to sacrifice André to his own security. This surmise of double treachery made them imagine Clinton might be induced to give up Arnold for André, and a Gentleman took occasion to suggest this expedient to the latter, as a thing that might be proposed by him. He declined it. The moment he had been capable of so much frailty, I should have ceased to esteem him.

The infamy of Arnold’s conduct previous to his desertion ⟨is⟩ only equalled by his baseness since. Besides the folly of writing to Sir Henry Clinton; assuring him that André had acted under a passport from him and according to his directions, while commanding officer at a post, and that therefore he did not doubt he would be immediately sent in; he had the effrontery to write to General Washington, in the same spirit, with the addition of a menace of retaliation, if the sentence should be carried into execution. He has since acted the farce of sending in his resignation. This man is in every sense despicable. Added to ⟨the sc⟩ene of knavery and prostitution during his command in Philadelphia, which the late seizure of his papers has unfolded; the history of his command at West Point is a history of little, as well as great, villainies. He practiced every dirty art of peculation; and even stooped to connections with the suttlers of the garrison to defraud the public.

To his conduct, that of the captors of André forms a striking contrast. He tempted them with the offer of his watch, his horse and any sum of money they should name. They rejected his offers with indignation; and the gold, that could seduce a man high in the esteem and confidence of his country, who had the remembrance of past exploits; the motives of present reputation and future glory to ⟨cloak⟩18 his integrity, ⟨had no charm for three simple peasants, leaning⟩ only on their virtue and an honest sense of their duty. While Arnold is handed down with execration to future times, posterity will repeat with reverence the names of Van Wert, Paulding and Williams!

I congratulate you my friend on our happy escape from the mischiefs with which this treason was big. It is a new comment on the value of an honest man; and ⟨if it were possible, would endear you to me more than ever.⟩

Adieu

A H

#ooc tbt #letters tbt #the letter about andre

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theemmataylor · 7 years ago

Text

A Frozen Medley || Sebastian, Gaston, Emma, Evelyn, Alaric, and the Mikaelson brothers.

So. I’m only posting part one publicly and will include links here for the other FIFTEEN parts, that way I’m not spamming dashes and so that things can actually be navigable. But this is one of my all time favorite verses written with @familyispower / @bourbonandbrushes / @gastonlefevre / @theveritasi. And I don’t think I will ever get enough of it, honestly.

I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI

There wasn't much but a bar, a hotel built from trailers, and a road in the tiny little Canadian town that would serve as the crew's jumping off point for their polar bear adventure, so it wasn't hard for the hotel clerk to find the crew enjoying one last night of warmth and leisure in the bar.

"Elijah!" she called out, walking up to the man she assumed was the group's leader. "A radio call just came in for you. Outdoors Magazine is sending a writer after all -- he'll be landing by float in about half an hour."

Elijah blinked, surprised by pleased. "Lovely." He stood. "I'll go and help him with his gear." It was quite a walk from the lake to the tiny strip of houses, shacks, and town, the ground uneven and muddy, and there were no cars to use.

Looking over from his seat at the bar, Gaston raised an eyebrow, then looked at his partner. "Which one of us bet that one of them would go wandering off at twilight without a gun on their first night up here?" he murmured, before standing. "I'll go with you."

"Lovely. Thank you." Elijah nodded at Gaston, glad he'd spoken up before Alaric could -- he was avoiding Alaric's eyes these days. He went and bundled up, waited for Gaston, and then the two of them trudged off on the ten minute walk, then stood by to watch as a large old floatplane, the same one that had brought them in, came trundling down to a messy, long, rough, bumpy landing on the shallow, muddy, half-frozen lake.

Alaric had just been about to speak up to go with Elijah, wishing they could talk again. Wishing they had a moment to get things sorted out. But Gaston spoke up before he had a chance and Ric knew that it was better if he just stayed behind. If any of the Mikaelsons needed him as anything more than the director of this tour, then they could come to him.

Kol waved at his brother and continued to drink. Sebastian had only snorted in regards to the hunter he'd come with, and then the group of them watched the pair leave.

Emma didn't know how she'd gotten herself into this mess. She'd been approached by some friend of Cecelia's and while she'd always dreamed of doing some exciting write up for an adventure like this, it wasn't as if she was really the outdoorsy type.

The plane ride had been loud and rough and the closer they got, the more anxious she got. She saw the list of people who was involved. The nature team. The director. The two... um. Escorts? With guns?

The landing was the worst part, and Emma clutched onto the arms of her seat and closed her eyes and the pilot told her to prepare herself. She whimpered once, grit her teeth, and finally, finally, they had landed and Emma was stepping shakily off the plane. After Emma was brought her pack, she looked around for the men she was supposed to meet.

The pilot pointed to two men standing further on the shore. Emma walked over, pulling her coat tighter around her, and then approached the only slightly less frightening -- though... not necessarily more attractive? -- of the two and extended her hand. "My name is Emma. I'm... your writer? Are you one of the Mikaelson brothers?"

They'd both been expecting a man to come off the plane after the tiny woman, so when she walked up with her pack and addressed them, both looked equally surprised. Elijah blinked and nodded, then offered her his hand.

"Elijah Mikaelson, yes. A pleasure to meet you, Emma. Although -- you're not quite who we were expecting."

Gaston raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. "You do realize that we're going after polar bears, don't you?" He sounded amused and he shifted his rifle strap.

Emma shrugged at the first comment, but when the taller man seemed to laugh at her, her gaze narrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have been fully briefed on the expedition, sir. And I'm fully prepared. So, if you'd be so kind as to lead the way to wherever it is the party is staying, I would like to warm my hands before we leave out in the morning so that I will be able to keep notes."

Emma shifted her pack on her shoulders and then forcefully brushed past the pair, bumping into the taller one on her way, whispering something that sounded an awful lot like misogynistic prick as she did so.

Elijah gave Gaston a withering look before he moved to catch up with her, but Gaston just laughed his quiet, musical, yet hard-edged laugh as he followed after them. This entire thing felt like a joke -- first, the timing was bad enough, with fall coming in quickly and the hours of usable daylight greatly reduced. He'd heard some sort of argument between Elijah and Alaric about that -- something about their budget, the expiration of a grant, safety -- but it had been so dull, he'd almost immediately tuned it out. Still. There were clearly problems here, and now a woman had been added to the mix?

Wonderful.

"Would you like me to carry your bag?" Elijah asked as they walked along, but then he sighed. "Not -- because I think you cannot carry it, but simply because we came in on an equally crowded float plane," he'd seen all the crates stacked high in hers, "and I remember just how cramped and sore we all were upon crawling out."

Emma looked to the side at Elijah, pursing her lips at the initial offer, and then shrugged and shook her head. "No. I'll tend to my own things, thank you."

She thought many times about how crazy this was, that she was going to be in the middle of this ridiculous expedition with a bunch of men. Men who likely wouldn't believe that she had any place out there. Men who thought she would need to be taken care of and tended to and babied.

But she'd at least thought that it would have taken more than fifteen seconds before the comments about it all started. She had only packed things she thought she would need and had made sure for the two days before she left that she would be able to carry it for long periods at a time. The plane, admittedly, had been overcrowded and uncomfortable. But she was small and could curl up well enough to make herself semi-comfortable.

"So there are six of you? Right? Are they all as pleasant as your friend, here?"

"There's myself, my brother Kol who is actually on screen in the documentaries with me, our brother Niklaus, who handles all photography, still and video alike. Alaric Saltzman is the producer and director, and quite talented with sound. Gaston you've... met. In a manner of speaking. And Sebastian Moran, the other hired gun our insurance company demanded we take."

He glanced down at her, feeling terrible at what a rough bunch she had landed herself with, but just hoped that somehow, she'd come out of this not wanting to murder all of them. "We'll be leaving in the morning on another plane, traveling a significant distance northwest. I believe we're departing at four-thirty... The -- bar is the only place in town for food, and they've closed their kitchen an hour ago, but I'm sure we can manage to find you something…

"Have you ever done anything like this before?"

"You don't need to take care of me, Mr. Mikaelson. I appreciate the gesture, honestly. But I have a couple sources for food in my bag and will manage."

Was it ridiculous that she felt rude just by refusing any help this man extended? But she had told herself that she wasn't going to be a burden. She didn't really feel like she needed to prove herself to him, but the hired gun behind them had already shown here that no leniency would really be given to her.

"I've written for magazines before. And I've done nature pieces. But the conditions have been quite different. I've been in the jungle. In the desert. But not... in the cold, no."

Elijah nodded. "In that case, please, let me ask you to ask if you have questions, to speak up if there's a problem. This is our third time in the arctic, and we did two segments in the Antarctic before... I think -- one of the most important things we learned in our previous trips was that... once away from the last sign of civilization, in such cold, almost empty-feeling landscapes… there's a truly remarkable, tranquil sort of beauty, a peace that -- effortlessly touches the soul. But at the same time, that... the allure of that peace can make it feel even more difficult to handle conflict, odd as it sounds. We were just talking about this yesterday, how -- easy it is to isolate oneself from others, emotionally, even without provocation."

Somehow, some fucking how, he managed not to look back at Gaston when he said it. "So, essentially... Communicate often. Ask when you have questions, speak up when you have problems, try not to just completely isolate yourself emotionally -- because it incredibly easy, especially the... deeper into the white that we get." There was a soft, almost apologetic tone to his voice, rather than any trace of condescension.

"Thank you. I will try to keep that in mind," she said, almost jumping or kind of skipping a little to adjust her bag again better on her shoulders, and then looking over her shoulder at the hired gun. More than anything else about him, it seemed to annoy her that he was handsome. Because of course he was arrogant and condescending.

Of freaking course he held the belief that women belonged at home raising his stupid children, making him dinner, massaging his feet.

At least with the men, they seemed to know one another. The three were brothers, their director knew them well enough. The two hired guns knew one another. Emma knew it would be too easy for her to go silent for the duration of this trip, writing what happened, and not trying to reach out to anybody.

But she could be alone. She was good at being alone.

"Are we heading to the hotel? Or... Sorry. The information I received about this stint of the trip was very minimal. I was given details about the trip, and about the crew. Do I even... have a room?"

Fuck.

Elijah's eyes widened. "You -- do not. Sebastian and Gaston usually share, they're together in one. Kol and Niklaus are together. Alaric has his own, and most of the gear stashed in there... Since we thought there would be no..." And I can't even look at him right now. Gods, how am I supposed to not sabotage this expedition somehow when I can't even look at him? A week ago, he had kissed Alaric. He hadn't said a word, despite having rehearsed statement after statement. He had meant to, but the moment had seemed so right -- just the two of them going through gear, Alaric had moved close to check the serial number on a box…

It was the look of surprise, the moment of complete stillness, that Elijah remembered most clearly about that moment. He had kissed Alaric without meaning to, feeling nothing but the adoration -- the love -- that had steadily been building, and Alaric had said nothing. Granted, that might have been because Niklaus walked in just then, interrupting them (although he hadn't seen them), but all the same, Elijah felt like a monster for it.

He should have asked. He wasn't even sure Alaric knew he had such inclinations before...

That.

"Do you particularly mind sharing with me? I'll be up late reading, but I can assure you I will be quiet and well-behaved. It's not that we can't get you a room, simply that those are all of the rooms."

Emma shook her head and tried to give him a look assuring him it was fine. She considered asking him if he'd be more comfortable sharing the room with the director, and that she could keep the small, equipment filled room to herself. That seemed like the most logical thing, at any rate, but something told her there was a reason they might not be sharing it already? Maybe they didn't particularly like each other.

"I can sleep wherever. In just about any circumstances. So read all you like. Leave the light on as much as you'd like. I... might join you in that activity, even. I didn't bring books, but I have my nook, and had planned to use that while you all were... setting up. Really, my part of the job is observation and note taking. They're expecting me to do a full spread on you guys. So that'll be exciting. But while you're having down time or filming or whatever, I'll mostly just be trying to stay out of your way."

Emma tried to offer a soft smile. She liked this guy. Or what she knew of him thus far. She liked that he was willing to talk to her like a teammate and not so much like she was a woman trying to step foot on a pirate ship -- destined to bring them only bad luck.

"The group... is it... Are they all more like you?" Nice? Accepting? Nonjudgmental? Or like the guy behind us who hasn't even offered to introduce himself to me yet.

"Oh, Alaric and Kol can make anyone fall in love with them in a heartbeat," Elijah assured her with a soft laugh as they got to the hotel, such as it was. Gaston trailed away, back to the bar, and Elijah held the narrow, metal door for Emma. "Sebastian's a bit quieter, but he's charming enough -- inclined to let people be who they are and do whatever they must, he doesn't tend to get involved.

"Niklaus, though, has been in -- a bit of a sour mood recently." The narrow passages through the linked trailers were awkward, but when they made it to Elijah's room, at least there was some space to move.

Some.

The room was tiny. It looked like one of the larger ones -- large enough to have a twin-size bed, not the narrow little barely cot-sized bunks they'd passed coming in -- and was near a bathroom. "I'll let you get settled and head back to the bar -- unless you'd prefer that I wait? There have been a number of wolf sightings in town, and no one, the locals included, goes anywhere alone anymore. So if you intend to come to the bar... It would be best to have two pairs of eyes."

"That's fortunate for them." But I'm not looking to fall in love with anybody. "And, yeah, if you don't mind. I'll just grab my wallet and put my bag down and then be ready to go. After that plane ride, I'm a little restless and I'm not looking to go to sleep any time soon."

And I'm enough of a girl that I'd rather not be left alone.

Her wallet she'd left in the front zipper part of her bag and within moments, Emma breathed a sigh of relief as she set her pack down and stretched, her back and shoulders popping, and then moved to join him again in the doorway.

"You said to not let myself become secluded, right? So... I would like to go to the bar. Please."

"Then by all means." As they headed back, he looked over at her and said, "Thank you, by the way. Thank you for coming. I'm sorry not to have said it sooner." As they walked out, he saw Gaston standing on the porch of the bar, watching the street, his eyes sharp despite his ever amused, derisive expression. He never gets easier to take, no matter how often he and Moran accompany us...

"How much time did they give you to pack and prepare?"

Emma looked at the man on the porch and frowned. She really hoped the rest of them didn't expect her to be as useless as this man clearly did.

"Less than forty-eight hours," she said simply, thankful for the warmth of the bar and the dim lighting. Emma shrugged out of her oversized coat, revealing just how small her frame was, and then awkwardly stuck her hands in her back pockets, shrugging as she did so. She looked at the rest of the men. "Most of that time was ordering a bunch of warm clothing and studying the environment. Trying to figure out how to survive."

She lifted one hand in a sort of wave.

Kol smirked, an almost flirty expression -- something default for him -- and waved back. Sebastian finished his drink, grunted and nodded, and then moved outside to stand with Gaston, and to offer him relief if he wanted it.

"Charmed, I'm sure," she whispered this time.

Klaus had been sitting alone, but he stood and walked over. "So. You're the journalist. Lovely. Expected you to be a bit taller. Come. Sit with my brothers and I. Ignore Alaric, he's being serious."

"Are you drunk, Niklaus?"

"You know, Elijah, it's amazing just how much judgment you can put into the mildest of tones." He put his arm around his brother's shoulders, patted him on the chest, and smiled at Emma. "Really. Come drink with us. Kol was just telling me... something. I confess, I was hardly listening. He does..." Klaus looked at Kol and winked, "tend to go on."

"Taller, sure. To make room for the penis you expected me to have. So I've heard..." She smirked and then moved past the brothers, going to sit near the one who had waved, though she left a couple stools between them.

"Can I have a double tall gin and tonic, please?"

"Have my brothers been rude and or overly stiff in trying to make conversation. Neither of them are the most social of butterflies. Though, Nik, admittedly, is quite the fairy."

"Alaaaaaaric," Nik complained, "Kol's calling me names again." Not that he expected Ric to actually get his face out of whatever work he was doing.

Elijah tensed slightly and fussed over the notebook he'd brought with him, apparently unable to figure out just which page he wanted to read. When Emma's drink was brought over, he didn't so much as look up, because doing so would have him looking towards Alaric.

Nik looked at Elijah, at Alaric, then back at Emma with a smirk. "So, what's your name, love?"

If Elijah would have looked up, he might have seen Alaric looking at him. He might have seen uncertainty and this desperate need to talk about what happened.

But Ric's glance didn't last long, and the moment that Nik looked his direction the first time, his focus went back to his notes on the filming they had to do that first full day of light.

Watching things play out as Niklaus seemed to be doing the same, Emma lifted a brow, met his blue eyes, and then smiled softly. "Emma. Taylor. You, sir, must be Niklaus. The... um... fairy?"

"In the flesh." Nik smirked and sat down on Kol's lap. "Now, what did Outdoors Magazine tell you about the expedition? Did they tell you we leave early in the morning, we're flying out to an Inuit village, where we meet a few dog teams who'll take us the rest of the way?"

"They gave me the logistics of the trip, yes. I read all the notes your former writer had been given on the plane rides. And the thing I probably knew the least about this whole thing was what you boys were like.

"And I didn't really know anything at all about your guard duty. Are they always so pleasant? I don't think either of them were too excited to have a girl on the roster. Were you all just planning some giant orgy?"

"Oh, we usually just have one or the other of them. Moran's the much more charming one. Doesn't seem to like me much..." Nik pursed his lips, shrugged, and ran his fingers through Kol's hair before adjusting his bony little butt so as to hopefully be less uncomfortable on Kol's lap.

"Gaston's quite a talented singer. But when it comes to people skills... Tsk. Bit. Of. An ass. A fine ass. It's.."

"Niklaus, if you do not begin to drink water, or coffee at the very least, I will fetch a syringe from the medical kit and inject you with it myself," Elijah murmured.

"Don't be such a bore, brother," Kol scolded Elijah, wrapping an arm around Nik's waist and helping him adjust before relaxing. "Moran talks when he relaxes a little. Once he's grown more comfortable with your presence. It's like suddenly you're in the middle of a conversation with him, and you don't really remember the exact moment that he started talking."

Emma smiled at the brothers, and then waved over the barkeep and asked him for a cup of coffee, making sure that it was passed to Nik to humor his brother.

"As far as Gaston goes, he made it clear that he believed I'd caught the wrong flight north. Which... is fine. Maybe I'll get to save his stubborn butt from a bear attack or something."

"I hope you don't." Nik huffed, looked at the coffee, then stretched back, pushing himself over Kol's shoulder like a damned slinky before he relaxed into his brother again, one arm around Kol, the other hand reaching for the coffee. "Cheers. No. Don't fight a bear for him, he's bloody paid to protect us. If anyone's getting eaten, make sure it's him, not you."

"You are, as ever, a veritable font of kindness."

"Oooh. Kol, seems I've struck a nerve in our older brother... 'lijah, you told me to lighten up this trip. So. Lightened up? I have." Nik almost never drank this heavily, but at least his tone and energy were playful.

Elijah sighed, rubbed at the bridge of his nose, then stood. "I believe I'll retire."

"Someone has to go with you. I'm sure Alaric would. Won't you accompany my brother back and keep him safe, Alaric? He is the face of Wild Beauty, after all. No offense, Kol, but you saw the poll last week. Sort of a Batman and Robin thing," he added, looking at Emma. "You know, not everyone likes Dick."

"Must you be insuff--" Elijah stopped himself, sighed, and put his notebook back in his coat pocket before quietly and neatly replacing his chair. "Goodnight. Emma, the door will be open, the lights on; please, do not worry about waking me when you return."

"Don't ice-olate yourself, Elijah." Nik thought he was being hilarious and his soft, velvety little chuckle said as much.

Alaric had already started packing up his stuff before Nik had even gotten his coffee. He felt alone in all of this. The desire to talk about things was... a bit overwhelming. And he figured it would be easy to just ask one of the men to walk him back to their hotel.

And then Elijah was packing up.

While Emma laughed at the middle brother, she tried to subtly watch the two.

Ric moved toward Elijah, trying to quietly, silently, request that he be allowed to go with him. But when Sebastian walked in again and Ric looked at the gunman instead of keeping his eyes on Elijah, he felt like he missed his chance and instead moved toward the bar.

"Thank you, Elijah," Emma said softly, nodding in his direction, then looked up at Alaric who seemed to be gripping the edge of the bar as tight as his strength would manage. He glanced at her briefly, then shook his head.

"I'll be in as soon as your brothers are sober enough to walk back with me," she said.

Sebastian watched the entire thing play out with a raised brow, then nodded at Elijah. "You ready to go back?"

Had Alaric looked like he was okay, Elijah would have said yes. But, unfortunately, he looked over at Ric just then, and when he saw the man's hands, Elijah's heart felt like it tightened just as much. He looked back at Sebastian and gave him an apologetic but grateful smile before shaking his head. "Let me just go and see if Alaric is ready to return."

Quietly, he slipped over and stood next to him. Despite his calm exterior, Elijah's heart was pounding as he looked down at Alaric's hands before resting his left over Ric's right, his touch infinitely gentle, caring.

"Alaric," he murmured. "I owe you an apology, I know. I have... been avoiding you for childish reasons. Will you -- are you willing to return to the hotel with me? Perhaps we... ought to talk."

With the touch, Alaric let out a huff of breath and without allowing himself to overthink it too much, he pulled his hand free from under Elijah's and quickly grabbed both sides of his face before pulling him into a kiss. Fast. Hard. His heart thrummed in his chest and his stomach twisted.

Both of Emma's brows raised, her lips parted just slightly as she watched this moment happen so suddenly. Sebastian, too, watched, though his expression remained fairly neutral and relatively unimpressed.

Kol squeezed Nik around his waist and snorted. "I bloody told you," he mused in Nik's ear just as Alaric was pulling away.

"Yes," Alaric whispered, pulling away entirely. Embarrassed. Elijah was a private man. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have made it so public. "Perhaps we should talk."

Elijah looked stunned. He stared at Alaric for a moment before he nodded once, twice, no, a third time, frowned, then went to get his coat. "Mister Moran, if you would prefer to remain here, you're certainly welcome to. Alaric and I will go straight back to the hotel; we'll be fine."

Alaric...

Elijah looked at him, half-convinced that Alaric would somehow already be gone, that he would already have packed all of those feelings in, that he would be pretending nothing had happened -- but the look in Ric's eyes felt like some sort of assurance, an assurance Elijah desperately wanted to understand.

Nik, meanwhile, was laughing quietly, still too drunk to really behave about it. "Took them long enough. You know, Emma, those two have been carefully not eyeing each other for... months. A year, perhaps. No. Two, maybe? Kol, when did it start, the Kalahari?"

"Hush, brother. Watch the show," Kol scolded with a smack to Nik's thigh. Though the smirk on his lips seemed to be infinite and thoroughly pleased with the entire situation. He waited until Alaric had nodded once, avoiding the eyes of everybody except Elijah, it seemed, and then walked with the eldest brother out of the bar.

"About twenty months," he finally said, speaking mostly to Emma. "It's like they've been dancing around the whole possibility of being together. And we couldn't figure out if they were together and just trying to hide it from us. But then we determined they were hiding it from themselves. Their touches were always too careful." He shrugged and continued drinking his bourbon while Nik had to settle for coffee.

"Well... if things work out... Perhaps I should be more careful about going to bed tonight. I..." can just sleep in the hallway floor. "would rather give them their privacy."

Outside, when they were clear of Gaston's range of hearing, Alaric spared a glance in Elijah's direction. "I'm sorry. I... You wanted to talk. And I know you've been avoiding me since you... If you didn't feel anything when you kissed me, if you were afraid of telling me that, afraid that it would split up our company... Elijah, I understand."

Elijah frowned. "I was afraid that you didn't feel -- the same romantic attraction, and that I had grossly overstepped by taking such a liberty with you." He was quiet for the rest of the walk, until they got to the hotel door and he held it open for Alaric. Turning, Elijah nodded to Gaston, who disappeared into the bar now that all of his baby chicks seemed to be settling down for a while.

Stopping in the tiny, drab, sad room that passed for a lounge, Elijah turned to face Alaric. The clerk had already gone home for the night -- she drove a snowmobile with mud skids and carried multiple guns -- and so they had the haunted-feeling place to themselves, for now.

"I greatly admire you, Alaric," he said after an awkward, prolonged silence.

"I was stunned, certainly, when you kissed me, Elijah, but only because after all this time I had managed to convince myself that every look or touch or kind word you had ever given me was out of friendship and nothing more."

He had to smile at the way Elijah confessed his feelings. Only this man could make them sound so proper. But because of the way he'd said them, Alaric felt like anything he said in return would fail to equate.

"I think about you every day," Alaric said softly, reaching hesitantly as if he were going to take Elijah by the hand, but he thought better of it and just brushed the back of Elijah's hand with a singular finger before letting the touch fall away. "I will never be good enough for you, but I do try to be. Because you... You deserve everything good. You deserve every happiness. I guess... what I'm saying, Elijah, is that I think about you every day. I think about... what it would be like to be yours." This is too much too fast. All he said was that he admired me. He could just be talking about my work.

"I'm talking too much. I'm sorry."

Elijah had listened to him with a serious, focused expression. When Alaric reached for his hand and only touched it instead, Elijah glanced down and twitched an eyebrow at the gesture before looking back up to meet Alaric's eyes again. "You need not apologize for expressing your feelings, Alaric. Learning the depths of your -- affectionate interest is a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. Not in the slightest."

He reached out and took the hand Alaric had touched him with, holding it carefully between both of his, never breaking eye contact. "I hope that, in your wonderings, you imagine a time when we might wake up next to each other without both feeling the need to look away. I hope that you imagine knowing, knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt, that you are good enough -- morally, intellectually, aesthetically. Purely. For between us, there can be no.... measure taken that will ever show within you any lack. You move me, Alaric, deeply, in so many ways that I cannot begin to count them, yet will attempt it, if you like." He spoke calmly, his tone measured and soft and yet almost painfully earnest, and then he raised Alaric's hand and kissed his palm.

"Here," his lips still brushed the soft skin, "you hold my heart." He closed Alaric's hand as he straightened, meeting his eyes again -- ready to apologize if any of it had been too much, but stubbornly refusing to offer an apology again without prompting now that he knew the truth they shared.

Carefully, with the hand that Elijah had kissed, Alaric moved it to brush along the side of the other man's face, holding him there, looking at him. He wondered, silently, how he had managed to capture the attentions of someone so incredible.

His lips parted and he inhaled as if he were going to say something else, but instead Alaric leaned forward and pressed a soft, affectionate, this time much gentler kiss to Elijah's lips. He wanted to tell him that he'd convinced himself six months ago that Elijah was just being polite with him, and that if he couldn't get his shit together to control his feelings, he would need to walk away from the company.

Then, when he still hadn't managed to do so, he had decided two weeks ago that this would be his last project with the company. He had the letter all typed up, saved to his drafts, ready to be sent to BBC. Besides, wasn't it time for him to go back where he belonged, anyway?

But now...

"Thank you," he said quietly, his other hand lifting to rest against Elijah's chest. "I will do everything in my power to keep it beating. My own has... been in your hands for some time now. Even without realizing it, you've taken care of it. Thank you, Elijah."

Elijah closed his eyes and let himself sigh away all of the tension he didn't realize he'd been holding. Alaric's hand on his chest felt like home, and Elijah knew, in that moment, he would never feel this peace again if he lost it. He stayed still and quiet for a long time, listening to the wind as it started whistling around the trailers, and then he finally stepped back and opened his eyes again.

"It seems... to me.. that it would be unprofessional and perhaps indecent to take any intimate steps while on a long journey that requires such.. exceedingly close quarters. You and I both have a great deal of work left to do tonight, I know, and perhaps we should part ways to do so... but it would -- if you will consider it -- give me the greatest pleasure to conduct our work out here, together... Side by side, even if we must be silent."

Alaric's arms fell. And so too, it felt, did his heart.

When he was so close to being able to call the man who had consumed every waking moment of Ric's thoughts with hopes of being together and fantasies of what that would make their trips like, Alaric had forgotten to factor in just how professional Elijah was. Always. While his brothers were in the bar holding on to each other and doing something that many people might consider flirting? While the young woman who had just joined them was looking for her place and trying to relax enough with a drink that Alaric had watched her wince against as she took her first drink, as the two hired guns seemed just as likely to kill the crew themselves as protect them from anything, Elijah was professional. Distantly so.

He nodded once and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I'll go get my things." He offered Elijah a weak smile, and then went to move past him, down the hall and to the back where he held his own room.

Elijah put a hand out against Alaric's abdomen to stop him; as always, despite the firm decision of his movement, something about his actual touch seemed to offer a choice. He would never force anyone to stay beyond their desire to, human or animal, and yet he wished Alaric would.

"May I have one more moment?"

Alaric stopped with the touch. In that brief moment between the kiss and when Elijah had pulled away, he had hoped. And then, in the even shorter span between when Elijah had stepped back and when Ric had moved for his things, he'd understood -- or so he believed -- that this would never actually happen. Because they would always be on some job. They would always be risking the entire company for the sake of a romance.

"Yes, Elijah," he replied, looking down at the hand that touched him so carefully. "As many as you'd like."

"Your... expression changed enough, please forgive me if I've read too much into it, but I cannot help but worry that my words may have been in some way unclear. I have every intention of -- giving you everything," he touched Alaric's chin, trying to get him to look up and meet his eyes, "and on subsequent expeditions, the others will have simply have to accept us, should things go well. But.. for this, for something we're beginning, I would rather it not be... when someone so new is with us, or when we are -- going to be unreasonably, dangerously close to the predators we go in search of. No one has ever done what we're attempting to do -- not without cages, armored observation vehicles, drones.

"I do not want to deny this forever -- only to give ourselves this one last shoot, one of our most dangerous, before we... change everything. Now that we both know, or have an idea, of where the other stands.. and now that I hope you know I -- will never feel home until we are together, as I have been robbed of any sense of the word since we sat together that morning in the desert and the scorpion walked so curiously, so safely, over our hands where they rested side-by-side. I want, desperately want, to be with you, Alaric. And the moment we are back here, the night we spend here waiting for our return flight, I hope you know I intend to...

"Ensure that you are warm. That night, and every night after. Every. Night. If you permit it."

Something in the words, as ridiculous as it sounded, made Alaric certain that one of them would die on this expedition. One of them would unintentionally, unwillingly rob the other of this chance at what could be something... something Ric had always wanted.

Elijah had a family. He had brothers. Parents. But Ric was... alone in this world, save for this crew. Sure, he'd been married once, and he had wanted so much for her to be his family. But looking back on it now, it was so evident that Isobel never wanted him in the same way. She wanted prosperity. She wanted achievement. She wanted everything Ric had, ironically, gone off and gotten for himself after Isobel had left him in the middle of the night with nothing more than a note that said Please don't look for me.

"I can be patient," he said with a weak smile. "I deal with your brothers for months at a time. And then satellite calls from the girl looking to reconnect with the mother who gave her up," who gave me up, "Only to tell her that I still have no information to offer her. I can be patient. But if you are expecting me to be able to continue on as I did yesterday. Careful. Hesitant. Distant... I don't know that I can accomplish that."

#a frozen medley #familyispower #gastonlefevre #bourbonandbrushes #theveritasi #one shot #v nature doc

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