#it only took her being upset bcuz she came in my room when i was sleeping and saw my scars for her to stop that...

[nightfallsystem-moved]

but yeah im starting to think that as a kid living with a transphobic mother just that is pretty traumatising ..

[shrekshugebadussy]

i would like to take a moment to talk about my dream last night that i remember fairly vividly and how it was absolutely transphobic 💀

the dream itself was wild but oh my god it took a turn before i woke up

it started in a room that had a couch and my mom was sitting on the end and this random stranger dude was sitting on the arm on the opposite side of the couch from my mom. he was wearing a black suit but i cannot remember his face. my grandma was also there but it was like we were waiting for her to get to the room. my great grandma (who has been dead since 2015, mind you) i think was sitting in the middle of the couch. i was in the middle of the room, standing, looking towards the couch, and there was a door behind me but more off to my right side.

anyways it was like i knew that we were for my great grandma’s check-up or something. more so something about her time of passing coming. idk it was just something about her passing. but again, anyways, no one’s said a thing yet, if i remember correctly. but my great grandma randomly and suddenly just gets up and leaves the room. no one but me follows her. i follow her out the door into a small hallway (i’m remembering orange-ish/yellow-ish walls/lighting and some kind of green accents from the original room) where another door is on my immediate right. i knew she went in here so i open the door and enter into like a small closet.

in the closet there’s another door on my right again, but it’s only supposed to be another really small space behind it, but instead it was like the room behind the door changed at special times, like it was another dimension or something. i feel like here was where i was being told by an unseen person that i shouldn’t follow, but i opened the door anyways bcuz i wanted my great grandma. inside was staircases made from trees & branches leading upwards.

i don’t really remember much after that until i was already inside this world. idk there were these creatures that lived there in this “dimension”. they looked human but i knew they weren’t. i just felt like they were magical beings.

they were very nice to me, and were leading me to my great grandma. i briefly saw her again but she, like, “left the dream” a little while later. idr what was being said by these creatures, but the environment never felt like it was outside, but it was still nature-like. kinda dark, too, but not night-like ig

anyways here’s where it went south 💀 for some reason i must’ve mentioned my name somewhere in the dream bcuz at one point, idk how, but my legal name came up… and the girl that was by my side helping me turned to me and her expression dropped when i explained that […] was my legal name and that i was, in fact, trans.

she immediately became upset and i was found unwelcome now. as i tried to find my way out of this “room” the feeling was no longer welcoming and all the creatures were now changed into humanoids that looked like they were wearing masks or something so i couldn’t see their faces and what not. it was like they didn’t wanna show their true selves anymore.

idk how but i eventually made it back to the closet. i left the door behind and i think about this point i woke up. i don’t remember going back to the room i started in, but that was crazy af 😭 dealing with transphobia even in my own dreams 😩